Awkward Introductions
"You're back already?" Theta asked when he saw Church standing next to Delta.
"Tex is good now, so we figured now we'd just pick you guys up as you get settled rather than wait a whole week." Church said. He turned to see Gary sitting in one of the corners and nodded to him. "That means you're up."
"Good, these living conditions are horrible." Gary said with disgust as he began walking towards Church. "I dare say that I wouldn't even make a shisno live here."
"It's not that bad." Theta said quietly, using his magic to grab a lit torch off the wall. "So Tex managed to fit in?"
"Yeah, it surprised me too." Church chuckled.
Theta nodded, focusing on the torch with his color changing eyes.
"Feeling a little nervous?"
"A little." Theta nodded, before smiling and placing the torch back on the wall.
"How's watching after O'Malley and Sigma?"
"They're kind of keeping to themselves now, so we haven't had to keep them apart, but we're still watching them."
"Good."
"Chatting is for shisnos, Theta, you should know that." Gary said, stepping next to Church. He then turned to Delta and coughed. "Beam us up, Scotty."
"Very well." Delta said, and within a second, the three of them were in front of the bridge.
"Ah, fresh air." Gary said. He inhaled heavily through his nostrils and began crossing the bridge. "Well, let's be off!"
Once the three had crossed the bridge, Zecora got up from behind the tree and lowered her head.
"I apologize for the wait, while it was unexpected, doing this was necessary."
"There is no need for you to apologize, my friend." Zecora said, raising her head. "The day is still young, so we have much time to spend."
"I am glad you feel that way." Delta nodded. "Now, you said you were still missing some ingredients?"
Zecora nodded towards another pathway.
"I apologize, but you will have to escort Gary out yourself." Delta said to Church.
"Yeah, sure, have fun on your date." Church said.
Delta nodded, before following Zecora down the other path, while Church and Gary continued through the forest.
"So have you made any plans, or are you only going to act when your shisno senses are tingling?" Gary asked.
"A little bit of both." Church muttered. "You'll be staying with Applejack."
"That's a good joke." Gary chuckled, but his expression shifted to one of fear. "You aren't joking, are you?"
"No, I'm not. She's the only one with enough room to keep you guys in our reach at all times." Church sighed.
"Feeling a little unprepared, shisno?"
"That's one way to put it."
"How about I make you feel better by telling you one of my many witty knock knock jokes?"
Church set a fast pace to Sweet Apple Acres, while Gary followed suit, spouting knock knock jokes nonstop. He even continued his own jokes once Church had stopped responding to him.
"Knock knock. Who's there? Gary. Gary who? Gary is about to have a miserable time with-"
"Knock knock." Church said suddenly after ten minutes of walking.
"Who's there?" Gary asked gleefully.
"Amsterdam."
"Amsterdam who?"
"Amsterdam tired of your fucking knock knock jokes." Church muttered as they reached the farm.
"You're no fun." Gary muttered.
Church shook his head, walked up to the door and knocked on it out of irony.
"Who's there?" A voice came from inside.
"Church and Gary." Church said.
"Church and Gary who?"
"Jesus fucking- just open the damn door!"
he door swung open to show Sarge looking at the tired Church with a smirk.
"What's so funny?" Church asked.
"Just thinking about how much you probably hated walking with him. Makes me smile." Sarge said, but lost the smirk when he looked at Gary. "You and I need to have a talk later."
"I have nothing to say to you." Gary sniffed. "Well, I do have-"
"Yeah, yeah." Sarge grumbled as he turned inside. "They're here!"
"Comin', just give me a sec t' finish what ah'm doin'." Applejack said from the living room.
"Aren't you going to invite us in?" Gary asked pleasantly.
"You wish. You're not allowed in this building." Sarge said as Big Mac came to his side, so he fell silent.
"Who's this?" Big Mac asked.
"His name is Gary, and he' going to be staying here with you." Church answered.
"He is?" Big Mac asked curiously.
"Didn't Applejack tell you?"
"Eenope." Big Mac shook his head.
"Well then it is a pleasant surprise for all of us." Gary smiled.
"Alright, now that you're hear ah can-" Applejack started once she reached the bottom of the steps, but stopped in her tracks when she saw Big Mac standing in front of Gary.
"So we have a guest stayin' here now, hm?" Big Mac asked.
"Er, yeah." Applejack nodded embarrassingly as she walked past him to get to Gary,
"Am I missing something?" Church asked.
"A bit less than Big Mac right now." Applejack nodded. "Listen, BM, ah'll explain it to ya in a bit."
"Well you'll have to be doin' a lot of explainin'." Big Mac muttered, walking back inside.
"What'd he mean by that?" Church asked curiously.
"Nothin'." Applejack shook her head. "Ya'll mind if ah talk t' Gary in private?"
"Sure." Sarge said, going inside and closing the door behind him.
"Yeah, I should probably be getting back anyways." Church sighed as he began walking away. "Thanks again for doing this Applejack."
"No problem." Applejack said as she turned to Gary. "Follow me, ah'll show ya where you'll be sleepin'."
"Ah, that reminds me of-"
"No jokes." Applejack said testily, stopping in front of the barn. Gary shrugged and continued onwards, but Applejack blocked his path. "Before ya come in, ya have t' promise me a few things."
"I promise I'll be on my best behavior." Gary said with a smile.
"Mhm. Just realized ah can't trust ya t' answer honestly." Applejack mumbled, but straightened up and kept her eyes on Gary. "All th' same, there are a few rules ya must follow."
"And what are these completely fair and honest rules?"
"The first one is no possessin' mah family." Applejack said icily, pointing at Gary. "If ya'll so much as possess my lil' sister for one second, ah'll personally see to it that Sarge uses them ropes in the corner on ya like he wants."
"You're going to rope me up like a pig if I don't listen to these rules? Not very original, shisno."
"That's another thing. Quit sayin' shisno. We're ponies, not shisnos. Your funny little voice is enough t' give ya as much unneeded attention as pear season as is." Applejack said, before falling quiet. It wasn't until Gary opened his mouth that she continued. "And no knock knock jokes."
"Well I suppose I should just give up right now, because I certainly can't do either of those." Gary said defensively. "Shisno."
"Ah'm not a shisno!" Applejack said, stomping her hoof on the ground.
"Search your feelings, you know it to be true." Gary chuckled.
"What does shisno even mean?" Applejack asked quietly.
"Ah, what is the most foul smelling creature on this planet?"
"Uh, ah don't know, t' be honest. Ah'm not one t' study creatures. Ah'm sure either Fluttershy or Twi could tell ya."
"Do you have skunks?" Gary asked curiously, and Applejackk nodded. "And I am sure you are aware that skunks defecate?"
"Of course." Applejack said quietly.
"Now if one were to believe that said defecation can defecate itself, then you will know what a shisno is."
"That's disgusting."
"I forget. Shisno is the name of the excrement of the excrement of a smelly animal, but what did they call the excrement of said excrement?"
"Ah didn't say find a different thing t' call us, ah said to stop calling us it!" Applejack said snappishly. "Though ah guess tellin' ya how to speak shouldn't really be a rule, but ah'd appreciate it if ya tried t' cut down on it. Ya'll are one of us now anyways,so callin' us names is callin' yourself one too."
"Don't remind me." Gary shuddered.
"Now, let's get ya settled in th' farm, then we can decide what to do next from there. Gotta help ya find your talent. Ah'll also try t' think of some more rules, but ya'll don't seem violent like th' others, so tellin' ya t' not hurt anypony seems pointless." Applejack mumbled as she walked towards the farm house, speaking up only as Gary opened his mouth. "Ah doubt tellin' jokes is your talent."
Gary mumbled his joke under his breath, then slowly made his way to the farm with Applejack.
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Wow, I check this and zero views, thoug I haven't refreshed.
Oh shit. Big mac is about to get the shotgun out.
Run Gary, Run!
Cutting Gary off is my new favorite recurring joke in this story.
This only makes me think that AJ and Gary could actually become a couple... I shall wait and see if my weird senses on this subject become true.
1038282 Are you high?
YAY GAMMA!
1038337 No... I'm crazy. There is a difference!
I would have read this sooner, but noooo 502 gateway error.
Hopefully he will get tied up like a pig roasting over a fire
1038337
i think he is
1038208 No we want him to stand still as a moving target is much harder to hit. I for one have no problem letting Big Mac do mean and terrible things to Gary.
Good luck Gamma, your going to need it
i think sigma should stay with rarity due to him being the a.i of creativness don't ya think bro
Every time I try to remember Gary's voice, I keep imagining him saying "LOl Arbitur! nok nok. whose there? Yor mother! LOL Arbitur!".
1038392 I thought I was the only one who actually liked Gamma!
i would take Gary in
Well, AJ talking to Gary in private sure isn't going to help BM's confusion.
dirty shisnos
i hate 502 error screen.
1038409 No I think I'm pretty sure your high. Or on LSD.
1040454 ... And how do you know the symptoms? You're either a doctor a drug seller or a buyer. Or a weird person that knows this. So no I'm not high or on LSD. I just of a broad mindset. Unlike you.
1040454
1041000
Both of you stop it. Or i will geld you if you really have that much of a problem take it somewhere else.
DAMN SHORT CHAPTERS! good job as usual.
Not gonna lie, I really want to see Big Mac beat the shit out of Gary.
1038208
That's an odd way to spell Sarge...
1041631
Honestly, they shouldn't clear up this misunderstanding with Big Mac. It gives BM a good reason to be held over Gary's head as a possible punishment for breaking the rules.
"Ya don't follow th' rules, I tell mah big brother ya dumped me."
"What? But that's a lie. What an element of honesty."
"Ah, it's true 'nuff. We ain't datin'."
"But... but then he'd..."
"Exactly."
1042950 They could do that too, but I still want to see them fight, and Gary not coming out on top.
1039555 i love gamma for some reason my bro says im like gary or church because im not like any of the girls in red vs blue but i love gamma and church and i like saying shisno its fun to say
Does anyone else want to know how Delta's and Zecoras' day went?
1041033 he does short chapters so that he can release one everyday
I found Church his joke kind of funny
1038208 i know. GARY FUCKING RUN!!!!!
Tex, Delta, Theta, living in the world, sure. The other three? Fuck no!
I wouldn't trust them to pour a glass of water without finding a way to kill you with it!
I laughed so hard at the the 'joke' made by sarge. best ever. of all time.
I had a laughing spazum after Gary explain what a shisno is
2709973 gary, is really annoying. he sounds like stephen hawking. and he talks like he's better than everyone. mabe i need to impale him on my trophy wall. show him that he is, in reality, the fecal matter of a shisno.
2857409 .... How do you stuff and mount a hologram? or do you just keep his AI chip in a nice case over your mantle.
3034903 weeeeellllll.... technically he is presently a pony but if it was a A.I. i would make his chip into a intricate wind chime of other A.I chips or have his chip on my door knocker and he will be forever be in a knock knock joke (then he will hate it since im gonna leave him online to live it)