Warning
Church stood watching Pinkie and Caboose dance awkwardly for a while, then decided he would take a breather and take a step outside and Tucker followed.
"Pretty boring party, eh Church?" Tucker said. "If only we could get some actual drinks here, then it would be a party."
"Yeah." Church laughed. "How is it going with Rainbow Dash? She still crushing your balls?"
"Not recently." Tucker said, chuckling lightly. "But it's pretty good man. She is quick tempered, but at least she isn’t Tex. How is staying with Twilight?"
"It's alright I guess." Church sighed while looking at the moon.
Tucker stared at Church in silence for a bit. "You miss her, don't you?" Tucker asked abruptly.
"Of course I do you fucking idiot." Church muttered.
"Why don't you just forget her?" Tucker asked.
"I tried. Before Caboose forced me out I tried to let her go." Church said, then looked at the ground. "But no matter what, it's not enough in the end. I've tried loving her, I've tried to forget her but neither of those worked."
"Maybe you are supposed to do something else." Tucker suggested.
"No fucking shit. Do you have any other wonderful observations?"
"Hey man, no need to be a dick. I'm just trying to help."
"Tucker and help aren't exactly things you expect to hear being put together on a day to day basis." Church retorted.
"Whatever man. Quit being so fucking mopey."
"I don't exactly have a lot to be happy about these days." Church muttered.
"I know something that might make you happy." Tucker said.
"Oh yeah?" Church asked. "And what would that be?"
Tucker pointed to a window and Church looked inside to see everypony laughing. Caboose was holding hooves with Pinkie with a big smile on his face.
"As much of a pain in the ass Caboose is, I have to say he seems to be really happy here." Tucker said. "Probably the happiest I've ever seen him, and I'm kind of happy for him."
"You're happy for Caboose?" Church asked with a laugh.
"I know man, it surprised the fuck out of me too." Tucker said. "This place is just too damn happy to hate anything. And honestly, look at Caboose and tell me you don't feel happy for him."
Church then looked at his hooves and glanced at the drawing and he started to smile.
"You're right. I am kind of happy for him." Church said, then sighed. "Hey Tucker?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Church and Tucker then went back into the library.
"So is there anything fun to do around here besides party?" Grif asked. "Not that partying is a bad thing to do."
"Well, you could borrow one of my books if you want." Twilight said.
"Ugh, no thanks, I'm not an egghead." Grif said. "Simmons might be interested though, he's pretty fucking boring."
"Fuck you Grif." Simmons said.
"Yeah, you wish." Grif said smugly, sipping on a glass of punch. "So just books? Anything other than that?"
"You could always give Cloudsdale a try." Rainbow Dash said. "I'm sure the aerial sports teams wouldn't mind using you for practice."
"Forget I said anything." Grif muttered.
"You don't need to do a lot of things to have fun." Fluttershy said quietly. "The most fun I have is when I sit around with my animal friends and watch them play with each other."
Grif looked at Fluttershy and smiled tightly. Sarge glanced at Grif and hit him in the shoulder lightly and winked. Grif shook his head and glared at Sarge, though a goofy smile was glued to his muzzle.
"So what's going to be happening at the party tomorrow?" Church asked. "Is it going to be the same thing as this?"
"Don't be silly." Pinkie said. "How would little foals have fun at an adult pony party like this?"
Church looked over at Twilight who shrugged lazily. Sarge then glanced over at Caboose who was standing idly, not listening to the conversation.
"Hey Caboose?" Sarge muttered.
"Yes Sarge?" Caboose asked.
"Are you going to see the little ones at the party tomorrow?" Sarge asked.
"Of course I am! I wouldn't ever miss a Pinkie party!" Caboose said.
"Uh-huh." Sarge grunted. "Pinkie, mind coming outside? I need to tell you something."
"Okay Sarge." Pinkie said, hopping out the door, Sarge close behind her, closing the door behind them.
"What did you want to tell me?" Pinkie asked.
"Has Caboose met the babies yet?" Sarge asked quietly.
"No." Pinkie said, confused. "When I asked him if he wanted to meet them he started acting strange. His eyes were really scary and there was something else..."
"His voice changed, right?" Sarge asked nervously.
"Yeah. How did you know?" Pinkie asked.
"You don't want to know." Sarge said. "All you need to know is that Caboose should not go to the party tomorrow."
"Why is that, silly?" Pinkie asked.
"It is hard to explain, but it's not just his appearance that changes." Sarge said.
"What do you mean?" Pinkie asked.
"Long story short he goes crazy." Sarge said. "And not regular Caboose crazy. Dangerous crazy."
"Caboose? Dangerous? You must be confusing him for somepony else." Pinkie said.
Sarge stared at Pinkie, who just sat there smiling innocently.
"Never mind, just forget I said anything." Sarge said. "Go back in and have some punch."
"Great idea." Pinkie said happily, walking back into the punch bowl.
Sarge looked through the doorway at Caboose who was walking around and laughing. Sarge worried for what Caboose would do to the babies so he sighed and slowly walked up to Caboose.
"Hey Caboose." Sarge said quietly. "I need to tell you something but it is a secret. Want to hear it?"
"Sure." Caboose said.
"Alright, but we need to whisper, we don't want the others to hear." Sarge whispered.
"Oh that kind of secret." Caboose whispered back. "What is the secret?"
"Pinkie just told me that the party is going to be somewhere else tomorrow, so I need you to come to the farm and we’ll go together, okay?" Sarge said even more quietly. "Just don't tell anybody."
"Okay Sarge!" Caboose whispered back, not thinking of questioning him.
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Oooooh Nice one Sarge
So... The plot thickens... This is going to be interesting.
Hmm, you'd think the deep voice and the dark eyes would tip Pinkie off that Sarge was telling the truth. Still, ought to be rather hilariously awkward. Especially if Pinkie randomly decides to move the party to Apple Acres or something similar :) Though I look forward to dark caboose quotables regardless. If you manage to pull something as wonderful as "I will eat your unhappiness" or "Your toast is burnt, and no amount of scraping will remove the black", I very may track you down in the real world and hug you.
I cant wait to see what happens when O'malley comes out.
355570
No he thinks of spikey kittens while he is trying to get angry and when he goes in to his little berserk mode he says "My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I... hate... babies!"
So we're both right
"Simmons might be interested though, he's pretty fucking boring."
You have their personalities so right.
356603
Mehbeh
356991
Thank you kindly
It would be just their luck if a porcupine wandered onto the farm and Caboose took it for a 'spiky kitten'.
/whispering Okay Sarge! You are my new best friend! 8D
I kind of feel bad for Caboose, seeing Sarge manipulate him and take advantage of his less than considerable intelligence, but I think things would be a lot worse for him if he were to see the babies at the party...
Wait, the baby thing was just O'malley talking. I'm pretty sure he died with Alpha and the other AI at the end of season 6
Pinkie's not going to like this...
you captured the sarge i know and love perfectly
a crass redneck at times, a worried friend at others.
"Pinkie said happily, walking back into the punch bowl."
She walked INTO the punch bowl? Is that healthy?
Seriously, you might want to fix that.
caboose: Sarge! i have a plan. * whisper x3*
Sarge: thats your plan? just saying whisper?
god, i need to rewatch the old eps
355604 "Great idea." Pinkie said happily, walking back into the punch bowl. i think you mean walked back into twilight's house
ohhhh sarge! caboose is only evil when he talks with omega... he doesnt have to deal with omega anymore.
355604
s3.roosterteeth.com/images/Valrac4b1add1357927.jpg
^That's what he thinks of! (You're welcome)
728331
Well yes but for some reason Caboose still goes a bit O'maddy
See what I did there?
I forget what happens to caboose in o mally form
MY NAME IS MICHAEL J. CABOOSE. AND I. HATE. BABIES!!!!
my feels are slightly confuzzled at this moment
im happy for caboose and it makes me smile
yet sad that he has to be tricked...
The baby thing wasn't O'malley, he did that after O'malley transferred to Doc. I'm sure because it was fairly close to my favorite Vic line when O'malley calls him. "Yo!! Dr. Baron Von Evil Satan, whats up dude?"
831262
She pulls herself out of mailboxes....IS IT REALLY THAT WEIRD FOR PINKIE PIE TO DO STUFF LIKE THAT?!
355604
so wait...I saw the episodes and I heard I...hate...taxes!! texes you idiot THAT too!! I DONT REMEMBERING HIM SAYING HE HATES BABIES...caps lock is evil man
2557456
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1VfnDzF2ZU
Nah, he hates babies.
What you might be referring to is something he said in season 10
2557456
He said he hates babies early in season 3. Right before curbstomping the flag zealots.
Awww... Caboose even has a psyco alternate personality like Pinkamena!
Holy crap he really does have an alternate mode...
What does Omega have to do with children?
6589640 It was in season 1 or 2 after omega was in Doc and Caboose learned how to act mean and he yelled that he hates babies. That's all I remember from it.
6857249
Nah, that was in season 3. I would know cuz I just watched it today! :D
Is it sad that im waiting for the battle creek lunatics to make some sort of appearance?
1316640
AND TAXIS