//------------------------------// // Odd Jobs // Story: My Little Caboose: Blue is Magic! // by DarkWing //------------------------------// Applejack led Gary out of the barn and to the beginning of the acres, where the trees were loaded with apples. Applejack looked at each tree for a few moments, then settled on a group of smaller trees. "So what are you, a lumberjack or something?" Gary asked curiously, then grew a smile. "What did the lumberjack say about the mathematician who couldn’t dance?" "Ah don't know, what?" Applejack said, deciding it would be easier to just accept the jokes than it would be to argue. "That guy needs to learn a loga-rythme!" Gary smiled broadly, but it quickly faltered when he saw the joke went over Applejack's head. "Of course I have to live with the country shisno..." "Sorry." Applejack huffed, now standing next to the tree. "Now give it a go." "Give what a go?" Gary asked. "I don't see any axes or tools around here." "We only use tools if they're neccessary, but our hooves work just fine for th' most part." Applejack nodded. "Give it a kick." "A... kick?" Gary asked confusedly. "Yeah, c'mon, ah'll show y how it's done." Applejack said as she flexed her back legs. Gary watched in utter silence as Applejack kicked the tree, causing the apples to fall. Applejack smiled to herself, turned around and nodded at Gary to try. "I've heard of some pretty stupid things, but this one really takes the shisno's grand prize of stupidity." Gary muttered as he eyed the tree contemptibly. "Sorry ya feel that way." Applejack muttered before she walked up to Gary and pushed him next to the tree. "Isn't there anything else I can do in this place?" "Not unless ya want t' work in Ponyville..." "Ugh, don't even say that sort of thing." Gary shuddered. "Then get workin'." Gary rolled his eyes as he brought back his hind legs, then lost his balance and fell on his face. Applejack snickered as Gary got off the ground to pat himself off. "So much for anythin' you can do ah can do better, huh?" "I'm fine, thank you for asking." Gary hissed, beginning to trot past Applejack. "Stupid shisnos... not knowing their manners." "Give it another go." Applejack said, blocking his path. "I would rather not eat the dirt, thank you very much." "Ya won't eat anythin' if ya walk away from work..." "But I can't do this petty field work." "If ya wanna quit after one go, then go ahead." Applejack said as she bucked the tree, making all the apples fall again. "Then everyone will know that a shisno is better than ya." "I thought it wasn't possible to hate you any more than I already did." Gary muttered as he walked back to the tree. "I guess I was wrong." "Quit the speakin', get t' kickin'." Gary brought his legs back, slowly this time, and took aim for the tree. Once he was sure he would hit it, he brought his legs back further and then keeled over again. "Ya need t' do it quick. If ya dillydally then ya'll are obviously gunna lose balance." Applejack sighed. "Fine, fine." Gary muttered as he got off the ground to examine the tree. "Apples ain't gunna buck themselves." Applejack said after a minute of waiting. Gary turned around and looked back at the tree, completely unsure of what he was doing. "Just kick!" Applejack said loudly. Gary hastily brought back his hind legs and kicked the tree as hard as he could. His eyes shot wide and he looked back at the tree. None of the apples had fallen. Gary then looked at his hind legs, which were now turning slightly red. Gary then yelped and fell to the ground, rolling back and forth as pain began to set into his hooves. Applejack began chuckling as she walked up to him to make sure he was alright. "Stop laughing." Gary whined as he continued rolling on the groud. "Why? That was th' funniest joke ah've seen ya do all day!" Applejack chortled. A single apple then fell from the tree and hit Gary on the top of the head. "Hey look, ya got one!" Applejack laughed. "I hate this place. So much." Gary muttered. "Alright, so maybe buckin' ain't your strong suit." Applejack said as she walked over to help him up. "If I need help from a shisno, I'll ask for it." Gary said, getting up before Applejack reached him. "Ya'll are as stubborn as a mule, y'know that?" "Take that back." "Since ya can't kick trees, let's go see if ya'll are good at anythin' else. Besides makin' a fool of yourself that is." Applejack sighed, walking towards the farm house. Gary muttered something under his breath as he followed Applejack up to the front door of the farm house, where she quickly opened the door and strolled in. "Did Gary quit yet?" Sarge asked from upstairs. "Not yet." "Looks like Big Mac owes me a few bits then." Sarge chuckled. "What are ya doin'?" Applejack asked curiously. "Helping Applebloom move her girly stuff into your room." "It ain't girly!" Applebloom whined. "Heh, sure it ain't." "C'mon, Granny Smith an' Big Mac should be just in th' other room." Applejack said as she rolled her eyes. "Oh joy!" Gary said with fake enthusiasm. Applejack and Gary walked into the kitchen to see Granny Smith peeling an apple. "Granny Smith, meet Gary." Applejack said loudly to get Granny Smith's attention. "Ah, so this is th' young Gary ah've been hearin' so much about." Granny Smith said as she turned around, looking over the tail-less and mane-less stallion. "It's nice to hear my reputation precedes me." Gary said. "Pleasure t' meet ya, sonny." Granny Smith said, extending her hoof. "Get it? You're yellow an' ah called ya sonny, like the sun." "It's rare that I find a shisno with an appreciation for the fine arts." Gary said sincerely, meeting Granny Smith's hoof shake. He then shook his head, quickly remembering what he was in the room with. "Now, what bring ya in here?" Granny Smith asked, looking at Applejack. "Ah thought he was supposed to buck trees." "That didn't work out." Gary said passively. "Gary here is a lil' weak in the knees." Applejack smiled. "Is that so?" Granny Smith asked, tossing a chef's hat at Gary. "Well ah'm down a cook, so saddle up, pardner." "You don't really expect me to cook..." Gary muttered in disbelief. "Gotta earn your keep somehow." Granny Smith shrugged. "I've never cooked before." Gary said dismissively, tossing the hat on the ground. "Better late then never, ah always say." "But I'm not feeling well." "Horseapples." Granny Smith said as she picked up the hat and tossed it back to Gary. "Enough with your silly excuses and get crackin'!" "Where's Big Mac?" Applejack asked curiously. "Oh, I don't think we need to know that." Gary said quickly. "He came inside t' give me help, but went for a walk in just a few minutes." Granny Smith chuckled lightly. "As simple as he pretends t' be, he can be complicated when he wants to." "Guess I'll have to sleep with my eyes open." Gary sighed. "Don't worry about Big Mac." Applejack said quietly, looking back at the door. "Ah think ah'm gunna go find him. Ya'll right lookin' after Gary by yourself, Granny Smith?" "Ah'm sure he can look after himself." Applejack nodded and quickly left the farm house. "So what do we do?" Gary asked hesitantly. "Ya see that peeler?" Granny Smith asked, pointing to the table that had a peeler on it. "Yes." "Start peelin'." "Oh, that seems easy." Gary sighed, trotting up the table. "So, what part of Equestria are ya from?" Granny Smith asked. "Uh, a different part?" Gary said questioningly as he grabbed the peeler with his teeth. "Of course. In all my life ah've never seen a pony that talks like you. Are ya from Trottingham?" "Nope." Gary muffled. "Las Pegasus?" "Er, no." Gary said slowly. "Well then where are ya from?" "Around." "Around, huh?" Granny Smith asked with a laugh. "Does this around have any other name?" "Yup, it's called Noshisnoville. Popultion: No shisnos." "What's this shisno thing ya keep callin' us?" Granny Smith asked curiously. "I don't feel like explaining it again. All you need to know is you are one and it's a bad thing." Gary said audaciously. "And why do you care?" "Ah don't know. Ah think it has a nice ring to it." Granny Smith snorted. "Shisno."