After the night on the balcony, my shifts with Princess Luna were different. I wasn’t a backdrop anymore even if I wanted to be, at least not when the two of us were alone. When we weren’t at an official, semi-official, or casual affair, she would talk at me.
I should clarify what I mean by “talk at me.” To say Princess Luna didn’t have a lot of friends would be putting it kindly. There was Princess Celestia, of course, and a hoofmare or two. Outside of that, though, everypony else was all business.
That left a lot of time for her to be alone. At least as alone as a VIP can be, which meant being alone with a guard or two, depending on the security situation. During my shifts, she would talk at me. I would listen and be quiet unless she asked me something specifically. Which, mercifully, she rarely did.
My guess is that having a confidant gave her peace. She knew I would never repeat anything she said because I was obligated not to. Also, I’m pretty sure she got the impression that I’m not big on talking in general. I let my actions speak for me and since I’m not good at interpretive dance, her secrets were safe with me.
Princess Luna spent a lot of time writing, even during her free time. Her work seemed endless and I wondered if she ever took a moment for herself. There were documents in her office, in her chambers, in her game room, and everywhere in between. It made me appreciate that my job was to stand there quietly.
On one particular evening, she paced back and forth in front of her desk with three pieces of parchment floating in her vision, levitated by alicorn magic. She looked at them and then at me. That look always meant I was no longer a prop and was about to be talked at.
“Silent Knight?” she asked.
“Princess?” I replied immediately. It seemed I was wrong. This would be a talking to and not at. I had become somewhat accustomed to being spoken to by that point.
One of the parchments glided down to the table and a quill rose in its place. She scribbled something and then asked, “Thou went to school in Canterlot, didst thou not?”
Thank Celestia. An easy question with a straight answer. “Yes, Princess.”
“Wherefore, then, didst thou not attend school in Cloudsdale, close to thy family?” she asked, scribbling something else. Was she writing down my answers?
“My father said I would have a better chance of being accepted into the Royal Guard if I was already in Canterlot and familiar with its ponies, so he sent me here to attend school. It would be an advantage.”
“Is that so?” she asked, which was a very loaded question.
Was it so my father said that? Yes. Was it true? Possibly. I was now, in fact, a House Guard. How could I know for sure?
“So he said, Princess. Whether he was right or not I can’t know. I am a House Guard, however, and assigned to a princess. There must have been some wisdom in his mindset.”
Once more her quill scribbled on the parchment. Was she working and holding a conversation or was she taking notes? It was quite unnerving.
“Wert thou not frightened to come to Canterlot as little older than a colt?” she asked.
In that moment I really thought the whole ‘speak when spoken to’ part of my upbringing was going to be the death of me. The princess didn’t know it, but this was a sore subject in my family. My mother and sister had been against it; my father, for it. He typically got his way so he picked me up and dropped me off in a city full of ground ponies.
“Terrified, Princess. It was right before I started secondary school. I lived alone in a tiny apartment, but I received the best education my parents could afford.” Terrified was probably an understatement, but it did allow me to learn how to be self-reliant. That sort of thing makes a pony tough.
Princess Luna let a second parchment glide to her desk before levitating another one. “Thy father’s counsel is most wise, though I may question his methods. He was a royal guard as well, was he not?”
Finally, a change of topic. I could talk about my dad all day. He was a hero. Well, a hero to me, anyway.
“Yes, Princess.” I paused. “Well, technically no, Princess. He was eventually, but most of his career he was actually part of the Equestrian Army. He served Equestria well until he took an arrow to the knee in a battle with some gryphons.”
The princess brought a hoof to her muzzle and stifled a laugh. That was rather confusing and, honestly, a little agitating.
“Princess?”
“Surely thou jest,” she replied, smiling behind her hoof.
“No, Princess. A gryphon shot him in battle. He was wounded… in the knee… by an arrow. Is that humorous?” I was pushing a line but I take my father very seriously.
The princess looked at me with big eyes, the smile vanished and she shook her head. “Our apologies. That is not humorous. ‘Tis just that the situation remindeth us of something we once saw in a story. Perhaps thou hast not heard of such?”
Somepony wrote a story about my father being hit in the knee with an arrow? Nonsense. I shook my head and said, “My apologies, Princess, but I’m unfamiliar with what you speak of.”
Princess Luna looked a bit sheepish before saying, “Then this is not funny at all.” After that, she quickly went back to her duties while I tried to work out what had just happened.
☾
The palace commissary makes better food than most chow halls. That was what I had been told, anyway. One major difference between the two, however, is that I didn’t have to pay to eat at the latter. Bits were something I had to be careful with. Royal guards don’t make a lot and I sent most of mine to my parents.
Unfortunately for me, there wasn’t a proper chow hall in the palace. There was one somewhat close at the Royal Guard Central Command Campus but when pressed for time or worn out, it was just easier for me to go to the commissary.
As usual, I sat alone eating my dinner quietly. It was some sort of noodles with carrots and peas—at least that was what I hoped it was. Again, just because somepony tells you the food is better doesn’t make it true.
From across the dining area, a pink mare approached me. Her armor had Princess Celestia’s cutie mark on the breastplate and a sergeant’s pin by the collar. Ponies tend to look alike under armor, but she was somewhat familiar. She also didn’t have any food.
“Mind if I join you?” she asked.
I shook my head and she sat down.
“Are you settling in okay?”
“Yes, Sergeant,” I replied simply.
Lightly, she cleared her throat. “My name is Radiant Orchid. You and I met a couple of times when you were working with us. Prior to your unit being stood up.”
That was it. She wasn’t the sergeant that had been assigned to the duty, but she’d filled in one day. “Right, yes, Sergeant. What can I do for you?”
Sergeant Orchid shook her head. “Me? Oh, nothing. I’ve just seen you here eating alone a lot. I thought you might like some company.”
“That is very kind of you, Sergeant. Have you already eaten?” I waved a hoof to her empty side of the table.
“What?” She laughed. “Oh! No. No…” Lowering her voice, Sergeant Orchid added, “The food here isn’t that great. I just wait until I get home. That is a perk of having a kitchen. You’re kind of on your own there, I guess.”
My nose wrinkled and I whispered back, “I appreciate that somepony else noticed. I’ve been told repeatedly that the food here is better than the chow hall.”
“No chance of that. Personally, I’m hoping that at some point the palace manager brings in a new staff or something. It is almost a crime that the palace should serve such awful food.”
A crime. Poisoning a royal guard was a crime. That could be a way to get things moving. Although that also involved the downside of being poisoned.
I pushed the noodle mush away. “Maybe I’ll trot over there tomorrow.”
“You’ll live longer if you do. Listen, I know you’re new and there aren’t any other green ponies in your unit. If you need anything, you can come see me. Alright?”
“Yes, Sergeant.”
“Good. Have a nice evening.”
☾
Silently, I stood outside of Princess Luna’s chambers, guarding her door. She wanted some personal time and had asked me to step out. That was completely within regulations so I didn’t put up a fuss.
Princess Celestia had gone to a lot of effort to renovate an entire wing for Princess Luna. She wanted to be certain that her little sister had all of the same comforts that she did. Everything was still being hammered out… literally and figuratively. About the only rooms that were still in one piece were Princess Luna’s private chambers.
Outside of them, however, was an entirely different story. It amazed me at how many construction ponies came and went. Lumber, nails, bricks, and other materials went by in carts and I had to pay great respect to whatever pony had insulated the princess’s chambers. None of this was obvious from in there.
Just after a brief squabble between an architect, forepony, and construction worker, Captain Shining Armor turned the corner and headed in my direction. He had an unfamiliar mare in tow. She was a petite earth pony with a dark brown coat and an almost black mane.
My body stiffened to attention as the captain drew close.
“What was that about?” he asked.
“The architect and the forepony had different opinions on what an arch is, sir. The construction pony had a different opinion on physics than the two. The three of them all disagreed on whether the opening to the administrative wing should be an arch, doorway, or drawbridge. Then it got a little physical.”
The captain blinked, paused as if he was going to say something, and then just shook his head. “Not our department. Listen, this is Miley Hooves, the latest addition to the House Guard. When you get off duty I want you to show her around and explain her duties. Can you do that?”
I could, but why? Shouldn’t the sergeant do that? Was something wrong with the sergeant? Should I ask? The captain was staring at me, waiting. “Yes, sir.”
“Thank you!” Miley Hooves chirped happily before quickly falling silent when Shining Armor looked back at her. Typically, you don’t interrupt a conversation between an officer and another pony.
The captain pressed on, “Good. Also, I reviewed your file this morning. Your scores at the Royal Guard Academy were excellent. You should have graduated as a guard second class. That got lost in the shuffle. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“It hadn’t crossed my mind, sir. This posting threw me sideways.” That was true. It hadn’t even dawned on me. Being posted to a House Guard was exciting enough.
He nodded. “Fair enough. Still, a mistake is a mistake.” His horn illuminated and unicorn magic surrounded my third class pin before pulling it from my armor. It amazed me at how little unicorns used their hooves or mouths. From a pouch, he levitated a second class pin and attached it in the now vacant place. “I also notified payroll. You’re entitled to the difference in bits between grades. That should be a decent little sum.”
Promoted. Granted, second class is pretty much automatic, but it was still nice. It helped shake that ‘green pony’ status a bit. Plus more bits would help my parents. That would be one less thing to worry about. “Thank you, sir!”
“Don’t thank me. I just corrected the mistake. Carry on.”
“Yes, sir,” I responded and settled back into my place outside the door. Only now I stood just a little bit taller.
Nice chapter. I hope Luna tells us about that story. I don't like being left off hanging like that. Thanks for the update.
Great use of humor. I like your way of writing first person, without making it a bland "I go here, I do this" sort of thing. I was already formulating a question about why you said 'talked at' in the first paragraph, when you went on and answered it in the second like a pro.
Ha Skyrim joke. I see what you did there.
Not a bad read, will continue.
The Skyrim reference got a snrk out of me. ^_^
Although, someone pointed out to me a while back, that the guards saying they took an "arrow in the knee" is a reference to an old (viking?) saying that meant they got engaged/married.
I'm enjoying the story so far, definitely going to keep and eye on this one.
HE TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE!!!!!!! OH CELESTIA, I'M DYING OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you! Another over-used meme has been used yet again!
(But seriously that was *bleep*ing funny)
Luna plays too much computer games. Get a console, leave Skyrim behind and let the Maretal Combat begin!
Was not expecting that one. Good show!
Fuck. Have an upvote. You made a terrible, worn down joke make me crack a smile. If that ain't good storytelling, what is?
really
Why does Luna say "we" instead if "i" so much? Its probably just something from the show that slipped my mind at the moment...
A Skyrim reference. I like you even more now.
truely brilliant! I applaud you!
So, in the middle of a battle, with gryphons, he got married. I pretty sure that never happened.
5366699 You are correct about the marriage part there.
5573618
It's the royal "we"; it was tradition for a royal to refer to him- or herself as "we" instead of "I".
I laughed so hard at this part
NO, not this again....
I served 31 years, been to 4 different combat areas of responsibility.......and NEVER took an arrow to the knee! heheheheh! My son played that freakin game. And somehow you made it funny again. Well done!
6216906 Thank you for your service.
I wonder if his dad Whilhelmed
I hate the "arrow to the knee" joke its been beaten to death with a metal rod!
6503368 I used to be an "arrow to the knee" joke then i took an arrow to the knee and the space-time continuum collapsed.
Ok. That was a pretty good telling of the accursed arrow to the knee joke. I actually smirked.
6637931 I like to think so. Just my way of including the familiar while also saying "this has been overdone."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSxx12vADYk
<---Still likes "arrow in the knee" jokes.
'Knee'd to catch my breath from laughing so hard from that joke
49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7sbd1G8nJ1qfkmdzo1_500.gif
"I used to be a soldier like you. But then I took an arrow to the knee"WTF!
While I don't know how genuine this is, I've heard that "arrow to the knee" was an old Scandanavian euphemism for getting married, same as our "ball and chain" and "getting hitched" expressions. Couldn't not chip in on that, Skyrim fan that I am.
Getting the distinct impression that Silent's relationship with his father is complicated. With families it usually is, but moreso in his case, the shift from "being sent away to school was a terrifying childhood experience" immediately into "my dad (the very same that did the thing) is a hero to me I could talk about all day," gives me the impression of a person rounding out their feelings into something simpler and putting the bits that don't fit the model into a box. I'll certainly watch out for it, and refine my impression as more comes.
So Silent didn't regard his own promotion ladder very highly? A pony more concerned with doing the job than wearing the badges, that's honourable.
Additionally, and I held off on saying this until I realized more: Silent is a very good sounding board. He doesn't talk-back and he doesn't lie (even to paint a pretty picture that, in the long run, would undermine her). That's something Luna really needs now. And he remains empathetic and, if not understanding, open to understanding - knowing that he doesn't know, yet, and so isn't judging. Celestia is making the same mistakes again as the first time around, it could be said almost, now that I think about it.
Luna is being held like a high priority package. The guards assigned her are very skilled and proficient, that was the qualifying factor they were chosen for (and you can see Celestia's concern and care in demanding the best) but realistically, does Luna need extremely capable guards at this point in time over, say, someone that might trust, and be trusted? Celestia's professional almost-detachment is not addressing the guards' aversion to Luna, but truth said it's hard to know what Celestia can do. It can be hard to influence the undercurrents from the top.
All said and done: Luna doesn't need the most procedurally capable guards right now. What she needs is a big-little sister in her corner.
Thank goodness she came by one of those.
5386469 Ah! So maybe it isn't a thing. That said, holding your wives in high regard and making jokes about them aren't mutually exclusive, either on the general basis or in individual cases. Humour can be in good faith, after all, and those in best faith can say the most scandalous things. As for knee'd = marriage, I accept it might not be true, but the plausibility is there.
The general sentiment about the Skyrim reference in these comments seems positive, so I'm going to provide an alternate perspective. I hated it.
In three short chapters, you've already stretched the gamer Luna meme to the point where it is barely believable. Her cultural awareness should be basically zero, but there she is playing in arcades and laughing at obscure references beyond the knowledge of a native of the present. Not only did you use the dictionary example of an overused meme, but you stretched the joke over many more paragraphs than I would think necessary. This was a "facepalm-cringe please stop" moment for me, to be honest.
This didn't ruin the story for me or anything like that, it just shattered my immersion.
7875196
I've certainly heard it as that and as not that. The internet seems to be split! Either way, I meant it literally and, more importantly, as a way to poke fun at an overused meme.
Much like the boards used to make the walls he is trying to pretend to be!
A valid question! Is it more about guarding or seeming equality?
7893240
That was the actual intent of the joke ;). That is why it ends with the character acknowledging it wasn't funny. The joke was old when I wrote this. It is ancient now.
7893315 I've seen word that the expression never actually meant that, but even if that's true both Skyrim and Equestria are fictional countries in fantasy settings. I see no reason it couldn't mean that here.
SKYRIM REFERENCE!!!
7893315
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/001/744/1b1.jpg
And thus the never ending lunar wing construction begins, at the same time the number 1 structural damage cause enters.
i shold pin you up to a board for that arrow to the knee reference (if it was one)
he is actually very good at it. every buck to the face declares quite clearly "Don't do that again." and of course "You will not harm MY PRINCESS!" unfortunately that second one tends to cause a few problems.
5633919
Well that's one hell of a way to be married
Pfft, lol.
Ah the classics.