Difficulties
Gary awoke the next morning, feeling heavy in his stomach. He groaned as he rolled off the pile of hay, thinking he must have caught something from sleeping in the dirt as a shisno would. He got off the floor, knees wobbly, then collapsed back onto the pile of hay. Gary looked around the barn, making sure none of the shisnos were around to see him. He jumped to his feet, and stood in a more grounded position. Once the weak feelings in his knees passed, he slowly made his way to the barn door. He pushed it open, and nearly fell over due to it swinging open with ease, but he caught himself before he fell.
"What is going on?" Gary asked loudly, for once hoping something was nearby that could help him figure out what was wrong. "No? I guess I am on my own. Good."
Gary looked at the farm house, realizing he would not be able to make it to town hall in his condition, he hopped to seek the aid of the old shisno. He got inside and looked at the rocking chair, where Granny Smith was usually stationed, then went to the kitchen. This time, he saw Granny Smith sitting at the table, knitting.
"Something is wrong. I think Sarge poisoned me to make sure I can't do the pledge." Gary groaned, taking a seat at the table to place hi hooves over his head, then added under his breath. "Though that seems a bit too merciful for him."
"Ah think ya might be a little nervous!" Granny Smith cackled as she got off her chair and made her way to the line of cupboards.
"I don't feel silly little things like nerves." Gary sniffed condescendingly. "It must be something else. I must have gotten a virus."
"Only virus ah can see is yellow-belly virus." Granny Smith said, reaching into one of the cupboards next to the stove. "Luckily ah got just th' thing."
"Gary is not weak like shisno, he does not need antibiotics."
"Antibiwachamacallit?" Granny Smith echoed, placing her hoof over her ear. "Ah was just grabbin' ya some concentrated cider. Should perk you right up!"
"Concentrated cider?" Gary asked quietly as Granny Smith took out a small, locked tankard from the cupboard.
"Drink up." Granny Smith said, unlocking the tankard and placing it next to Gary.
Gary grabbed the tanker and sniffed it. Instantly his eyes began to water and he gagged at the empowering aroma.
"Yeah, that'll happen t' ya." Granny Smith nodded. "Just have a sip and ah guarantee y'll will be hoppin' around the barn in no time."
"Very well." Gary huffed, taking this as a challenge. He grabbed the tankard and took single chug of it.
Instant burning sensation. Gary spat up the liquid and began running around the kitchen, looking for any container of water, but found none. He then rushed to the sink and turned it on, before promptly sticking his mouth on the faucet, not daring to let a drop go into the actual sink. Gary slipped the water off after a few moments to catch his breath. He was panting heavily. His eye were watering. He was upset. He turned to talk to Granny Smith but she had disappeared. He stomped out into the hallway to see Granny Smith rocking on her rocking chair, smiling smugly as she continued knitting.
"You knew that would happen, didn't you?" Gary hissed in anger, not liking having been tricked.
"Don't worry, it happens t' th' best of us." Granny Smith assured him. "Took me years before ah could even drink it."
"Well, I don't-"
"How ya feelin', by the way?" Granny Smith interrupted him.
"I'm... feeling better... actually." Gary said reluctantly, leaving the house to get to Town Square on time. "Just don't do it again."
"No promises."
Gary quickly trotted towards Town Hall, taking the occasional break to dry heave. Eventually he reached Town Square, where he saw a large stage set up, and where Mayor Mare had already started. He stopped a few dozen paces away from the stage and began composing himself.
"...and now, to recite the Ponyvilllian pledge, Neighoming!" Mayor Mare said, finishing her speech a few minutes later. As she did, the air was rich with the sound of cheering and stomping hooves
Gary smiled, thinking about how these shisnos would be wrapped around his hoof, when a blue horse came out of the crowd to see him.
"What the hell are you doing?" Church hissed, walking next to Gary as he approached the podium. "Is this what you call a low profile?"
"Relax, she doesn't know my real name." Gary chuckled, then paused as he thought for a moment. "Well, she does know my name, but I'm going by the name of Neighoming."
"It doesn't matter if she knows your real name or not." Church grunted loudly, walking faster than Gary to cut him off. "What if Celestia has to show up to meet the Mayors assistant?"
"Yeah, like the a Princess is going to visit just for an assistant." Gary snorted, resuming his trek towards the podium. "Come on!"
"Okay, maybe not then, but what if she come to see the Mayor about something?"
"Then she'll introduce me a Neighoming from Minneighsota." Gary giggled impishly, before putting on a serious face to go on stage. "Now out of my way, as terrible as it is, I have a pledge to recite."
"Fuck." Church growled as Gary climbed up onto the stage, knowing it would cause suspicion if he went up there with him.
Once Gary was on the stage, he trotted to Mayor Mare, who was till standing next to the microphone stand.
"Are you ready?" Mayor Mare asked, away from the microphone.
"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Gary snorted, then turned to the audience and blanched.
"Neighoming?" Mayor mare asked, noticing something was off.
That's a lot of shisnos. Gary gulped. He quickly shook his head and cleared his throat. A lot, a lot of shisnos.
"Excuse him, he hasn't done this in a while and he has only had a day to prepare, so please bear with us." Mayor mare said into the microphone.
Need to calm down. Nothing would be more embarrassing than looking stupider than a bunch of shisnos. I know, just think of them in their underwear. Gary smiled when he started imagining this, but quickly cringed when he looked at the crowd. Now that just looks strange...
"You did, memorize it, didn't you?" Mayor Mare asked slowly.
"Yes, yes I did." Gary muttered, sorting through his mind to make sure he had everything right. "There are just so many of them."
"Relax, they will not bite you." Mayor Mare said into the microphone, making the ponies in the crowd cheer.
"Say, do you mind if I open with a joke?" Gary asked quickly, smiling brazenly.
"I suppose it isn't out of the question." Mayor Mare nodded, stepping to the back of the stage. "I will allow it."
"Thank you." Gary nodded. He turned to the microphone and gave it a tap, making a thud sound echo through Ponyville. "Morning to you all. Knock knock!"
"Oh dear lord." Church cried, grabbing onto his face with his hoof.
"What is it Church?" Twilight asked, stepping next to him.
"He's going to tell a joke." Church groaned in disbelief.
"Knock knock." Gary said again, smile never fading. "Mayor Mare, it appears you were correct. These folks ain't biting."
This caused a few of the ponies in the audience to laugh.
"Knock knock." Gary said once more.
"Who is there?" Caboose yelled from the audience.
"Ima."
"Ima who?" Pinkie piped, jumping onto Caboose's back.
"Ima psychiatrist. I'm here 'cause you won't open up!" Gary said, making a few more of the ponies laugh. Though not all of them laughed, it at least made him able to concentrate. "Now that that's out of the way, I suppose I should say the pledge so we can all go about our day, hm? Let's see here..."
"Please don't fuck up. Please don't fuck up. Please don't fuck up." Church said nervously, heart rate beginning to speed up.
"I, Neighoming of Ponyville, pledge allegiance to Ponyville. One town, which stands brightly by itself, for it's bountiful crops, and it's... pleasant... residents..." Gary said, beginning to slow down, feeling as if he was going to throw up. He looked back at Mayor Mare, and she gave him a nod of approval. "I pledge allegiance to the Princesses-" Gary choked on his tongue. "-and to the Republic for which they rule. Forever indivisible, with love and- ugh- tolerance for each race, be they earth pony, pegasi, or unicorn. All are equal in the eyes of our rulers, as well as myself-"
"I almost feel bad for him up there." Simmons said quietly, noting how badly Gary was struggling.
"I kinda do feel bad for him." Sarge muttered.
"Are ya just sayin' that?" Applejack asked curiously.
"Yeah, just look at him. he looks like he should be dead twenty times over. I wouldn't make anybody do anything in his condition."
"Even me?" Grif asked.
"Good point." Sarge nodded dutifully. "Anybody except Grif."
"At least I tried." Grif shrugged, turning back to Gary to listen to the rest of the speech, chuckling every time Gary paused to weep quietly to himself.
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Exhausted from working on three fics at once. ;~;
1095197
Its funny you have two stories in the feature box
someone must be pissed they got kicked out again
Poor Gary.
1095197
I know your talking about this and AH in Equestria, but whats the third? Zero Puctuation or something else?
lol good job i feel bad for gary GO GARY just to be random I HATE CELESTIA
I can tell, 2 more mistakes than usual xD (kidding)
Poor Gary...wait what the hay am I saying
1095263
;u; thx
I don't feel sorry for him. He shot Caboose and killed in one of the time lapses. This is karma.
Do your best dude do your best
when i hear gary and knock knock jokes i think this
1095197 meh take your time you deserve it. You update mlc everyday have a revolving schedule and work on one story a day. I can't wait for the AH story tho.
Oh and one thing I'm starting to get tired of Gary. I'm thinking a small ark like thing would be nice to break the uninteresting life that is Gary. Just a thought?
Great chapter 5 outa 5 moustaches for you
I'm honestly surprised Church hasn't been killed by Caboose at this point… or by Tex… or Twilight… or Sarge… know what? Fuck it. I'll get Sheila to do it.
Awesome as usuall. Your story is the most consistent with updates ever. I have 8 stories that Update and yours is the best. Great job. BTW can anybody tell me any good Vinyl and Octavia stories besides the vampire and university one. I have a boring summer on my hands
1095197 Update ALL the fics dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Granny Smith is a BEAST! I think, even if Gary puts his mysterious plan in motion, Granny will step all over that AI like kids on a rug.
Heh, Dark, dude. Don't need to rush yourself man. You've done quite a lot, don't wear yourself out, my good man!
Excellent chapter, as always!
i know im behind but
AAAAWW HELL YES!!!!!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Miley.
Miley who?
Miley Toll Pony.
*all facehoof*
Poor Gary, having to deal with the laws of society.
Lets hope it dosent backfire for him later.
DJ PON3 GOES WITH EVERYTHING
1095522
All
1095422
Assuming you've read Allegrezza, there's Fun With Changelings.
I almost feel bad for Gary.
...
Almost.
Am I the only one who would vote for a Gary/O'Malley Presidential ticket?
1098191 that would be gorge w bush and dick chainy
1098146 thanks man. I'll get right on them. Without these Vinyl Octavia stories I'd be bored out of my mind
1098191 Exactly!
1098478 That's the point!
1095294 Gary is in politics he is suppose to be boring. :D
In all seriousness i enjoy gary.
awesome...i cant wait for the new character but i also really want agent wash, and north to come into it as well....hehehe it would be ridiculous if sister showed up
Hehehe Gary and his jokes..
"...Republic for which they rule???" Equestria is by no means a Republic.
Gary is a retard. He is trying to take advatage of others. (no not like that pervs. but yes that could happen as well now that i think about it)
pretty intresting
1365828
IKR I think there's some propaganda in this pledge
1104203 i see what you did there!
Oh this is gold. They should have recorded that for O'Malley.
Isn't Equestria a Monarcky?
4797897 No, it's a diarchy.
4757208
If Pinkie Pie had access to video cameras of any descriptor, anything said/done in public would be recorded for future use, I guarantee it