"Ugh, what happened?" Sarge asked as he sat up, holding his head with both hooves. "Last thing I remembered was.... I don't even know."
"You tried to kill me." Simmons muttered.
"I did? That doesn't sound like me. Are you sure I didn't try to kill Grif?" Sarge asked, looking at him standing next to Grif. "And why aren't you killing him with me?"
"You don't want to know." Tex said with a laugh, then shot Tucker a deadly glare.
"I won't say anything." Tucker said sheepishly.
"You better not." Tex growled.
"You don't remember trying to kill me for being a Blue?" Simmons pressed.
"I... I think I do." Sarge sighed sadly, getting off the floor of the cave.
The others looked at each other nervously as Sarge walked out of the cave, wondering if he was as sane as he was ever going to be. They nodded at each other and followed Sarge out of the cave, just to see him sit at the edge of the entrance to the cave, gazing wistfully outside.
"Sir?" Simmons asked curiously.
"I miss the old days." Sarge sighed sadly, looking at the Red base. "Back when it was Red vs Blue."
"You mean Blue vs Red." Tex muttered.
"Heh, funny." Sarge said sarcastically. "But you know what I mean, back when we knew where we stood. It was us against them, them against us, and occasionally them against them. Now I have no idea what it is. Back then things were simple."
"I don't think simple is the best word for that." Grif chuckled. "And what about us vs us? That seemed to happen a lot."
"It was almost always only us vs you, Grif." Sarge corrected him with a weak smile. "But now look at the place we're living. It just doesn't feel right."
"What do you mean?"
"We fought with each other for years, now we barely even see each other."
"Aw, are you missing us?" Tucker asked, before gurgling when Sarge grabbed him by the throat.
"I never miss." Sarge growled before releasing Tucker to the ground.
"I think the only thing I don't like is how Grif gets two Elements of Chaos when everybody else only gets one." Simmons muttered. "I mean, I work way harder in one day then he works in a Grif day."
"A Grif day?" Tex asked
"It's less than a day, but not quite as long as zero seconds."
"So negative seconds?"
"Yeah." Simmons nodded.
"If I avoid work during a Grif day, don't the two negatives cancel each other out?" Grif asked, raising a brow at Simmons.
"It doesn't work like that." Simmons muttered, beginning to feel a headache coming on.
"Well then how does it work?"
"It doesn't!" Simmons yelled, getting ready to hit Grif.
"See? This is what I miss. Being at each other's throats, the thrill of arguments and the pure ecstasy of destroying rocks." Sarge shook his head sadly. "Now, now it's all about being at each other's sides, the thrill of friendship and the pure ecstasy of eating apples. It's just not sitting well with me."
"Well, aren't those good things?"
"I signed up for it so I could fight and command, and now I'm doing the opposite of that. I just got lost in the moment." Sarge tutted. "I guess I'm really just out of my element here."
"We all are, sir."
"I guess." Sarge sighed, frown deepening.
"Sir, as much as I hate to say it, you're being a little bitch." Simmons said as he got off the ground. "Ever since I joined the Red team I looked up to you. Sure, I'll admit that I envied your position and wanted it, but I was also just as fine staying where I was. I liked being given orders. When you're at the top, you don't have as much direction as you did when you were in the middle, and I love directions! I mean, look at Tex! She's a cruel, mean, cold-hearted bitch - no offense."
"None taken." Tex smirked.
"But even she's been trying to adapt. Hell, she even kissed Grif!"
"She what?" Sarge asked, face turning from sadness to disgust.
"It wasn't a kiss, it was CPR!" Grif argued.
"Oh please, like you even know what CPR stands for."
"Cardio... something... shut up." Grif muttered.
"Anyways, even Tex has adapted more than she'd realized. Grif has been doing more work thanks to Fluttershy, and Tucker even shot down a few mares at having sex!"
"A few is a bit of an understatement, it really was more like twenty." Tucker coughed.
"See what I mean, Sarge? Tucker changed, Tex changed, even Grif did!"
"What's your point?"
"My point is this. Things change. You either adapt and move with them, or you stay behind in the past and be lost forever. As soldiers, it is our job to adapt faster than others. We move faster, are stronger, as well as smarter than regular people." Simmons said, giving Tex a small scowl, silently telling her to shut up before turning back to Sarge. "But while those aren't reasons explaining why we're here, those reasons doesn't matter. What matters is that we're here. Now tell me this, sir. What would your old drill sergeant do if he found you sulking like this?"
"He'd tell me to stop being whiny brat and hit me over the head with the butt of his rifle." Sarge said quietly, small smirk appearing on his face.
"Exactly." Simmons nodded, holding out his hoof to Sarge. "Now, are you going to sit here, remembering the past like a disappointment, disregarding everything your superiors taught you, or are you going to move on and learn to be a better person, nay, a better leader from it?"
"I'm going to be the best damn leader there is." Sarge said with a wry chuckle, grabbing his used-to-be soldier's hoof. "I'm going to find a time-machine so I can go into the future that turns time into a living person, bring the past to me and beat the living shit out of it! I'm going to make the past rue the day that it messed with me!"
"That's the spirit!"
"I will literally tear the past's spine out, suck out the marrow, spit it into a blender and smash it's face on a counter and-"
"That's getting a little excessive."
"Right, sorry."
"Not at all, sir."
"Er, I don't think I should be called that anymore." Sarge smiled briefly, then turned back into a more serious expression. "Unless you're using it as a term of respect, not because of a title that you're forced to call me due to my position."
"It's been that way all along, sir." Simmons said firmly, saluting him.
"You know, Simmons. You're a smart kid." Sarge smiled.
"Thank you."
"Now, how about we find out what each other's Elements are."
"That won't be completely necessary." Simmons said quietly.
"What do you mean? Don't you want to get out of here?" Tucker asked.
"I do, but we don't have to worry about the guessing games.' Simmons shook his head as the others looked at him curiously. "Whenever I worked with Rarity, she would always tell me about her friends. She would rarely talk about herself. And because of her telling me all the great things about those she loved, I learned what made them great at being friends."
"So wait, if you knew the Elements, why didn't you say it before to get out of here?"
"Because." Simmons said quietly, a small smile coming onto his lips. "I wanted us to go back together, for old time's sake. We got in this mess together, except for Tex, so I felt we should get out together."
"Awesome!" Grif said happily. "Let's get this over with!"
"Grif, by kissing one of his worst enemies-"
"It was fucking CPR!"
"-Whatever! By doing that to one of the people he hates most, he's demonstrated Fluttershy's Element. Kindness. Tucker, by actually not having sex because he wanted to be with Rainbow Dash represents the Element of Loyalty."
"I was close." Tucker said quietly.
"Blueballs?"
"Yup."
"You weren't close." Simmons muttered, then looked to Tex. "You, by not killing Grif and actually learning that things don't always have to be so serious, as well as learning to laugh at it later, represent the Element of Laughter."
"I guess you do have to learn to laugh when you guys are around." Tex nodded slowly.
"Sarge, by laying down your soul and admitting to us, as well as yourself, that you're ready to move on, represent the Element of Honesty."
"Er, can we not call it laying down my soul? That sound a little..."
"Gay?" Tucker guessed.
"Yeah, that."
"Sorry." Simmons said with a nervous smile.
"So, what do you represent?" Grif asked.
"Generosity." Simmons smiled, then disappeared from their sights.
The others looked at each other and nodded, one by one saying what they represent just to reappear in the throne room, where a strangely happy Discord smiled at them.
"Tucker!" Rainbow Dash yelled happily, tackling Tucker to the ground in a hug.
"Uh, good to see you again too?" Tucker said questioningly, looking at the others. "Who slipped Dash some LSD?"
"Nobody slipped me anything. It's... I saw what you did in there." Rainbow Dash coughed, flying off of him. "Thanks for, you know..."
"You saw that, huh?" Tucker chuckled. "Guess that means I'm the chick in the relationship, huh?"
"No." Rainbow Dash said, kissing him on the nose. "We both are."
"So I'm a lesbian?" Tucker inquired pensively as he looked up to the ceiling. "Cool, I can live with that."
"Isn't this nice?" Discord asked, drawing the attention away from the reunited group. "You have truly saved the day. Your names will be etched in stone to be remembered forever!"
"What are you so smug about?" Church asked quietly. "We beat your little game."
"Did you?" Discord asked, and with the snap of his claws several beams of gray light shot out of his hands and enveloped the Elements of Harmony, turning them to stone. The sound of eyes widening was music to his ears as he summoned a card with a joker on it into his hand. "Or did you just activate my trap card?"