• Published 5th Mar 2012
  • 35,272 Views, 13,446 Comments

My Little Caboose: Blue is Magic! - DarkWing



What happens when the Reds and Blues finally get Church out of the Epsilon unit? Caboose decides he wants a turn in the unit, of course! What happens next? Well let's just say he always did say he wanted a pony, now he has a world full of them.

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Duds

"Why the hell are these wolves made of wood?" Tex asked as the wolves began circling her. Twilight opened her mouth to explain but Tex laughed. "I was just thinking out loud egghead."

One of the nearby wolves snapped at her, testing to see if she would flinch. Tex just raised a non threatened eyebrow at it to show that she wasn't afraid in the slightest. The wolves looked at each other knowing that this wasn't going to be an easy meal before tightening the circle that they had around her.

"What are you waiting for?" Tex asked as she tackled one of the larger wolves to the ground. "Let's dance, cockbite."

"Although she has much to be desired in the personality department, she does seem rather brave." Rarity noted as Tex punched the wolf in the throat. "Though I must say she might have bit off a bit more than she can chew."

"If you try to help her she'll fight you." Tucker said, keeping a close eye on the timberwolf that was still slumped over. "Don't worry, it's not you. She just likes to pretend that she's in control one hundred percent of the time."

"Does she have a mental problem?" Fluttershy asked concernedly.

"No comment."

"Mind keeping it down? I'm trying to concentrate." Tex said as she ripped off a small strip of the timberwolf's bark.

The timberwolf whimpered and snapped at her leg. She quickly pulled it away before bringing it back to punch it in the face. Another timberwolf jumped at her, but Twilight grabbed it with her magic and threw it into a tree. Tex watched as the wolf gathered it's bearings to run away before breaking the neck of the timberwolf she was pinning down. The remaining timberwolves then turned tail and fled with the understanding that they would die. Tex got off the ground and patted the dust and pieces of wood off of her body.

"Did you have to hurt them that much?" Fluttershy asked.

"Oh, I think those were relatively painless deaths. Many of the people I've killed would have considered themselves lucky in their shoes."

"Do you hurt others as a hobby or something?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously.

"No I did it for my career, any more questions?"

"I have one. How is it that you can hurt others so much without feeling anything?"

"What are you talking about? Whenever I hurt things I feel pleasure."

"So when you touch Grif you feel pleasure?" Tucker asked with a laugh. "I didn't know you felt that way about him."

"Shut up."

"That's it Tex, let it all out." Tucker said playfully as he placed his hoof on her shoulder.

"Since I can't hurt Grif as much as I'd like to I guess I'll have to settle." Tex sighed as she kicked Tucker in the balls.

"Y'know, that didn't hurt as much as it should. Guess I have you to thank for that, right Dash?" Tucker laughed weakly.

"Great, there goes two of my hobbies." Tex hissed as she kicked the remaining timberwolf unconscious.

"So any luck finding any of the fragments, or were you pretty much just bitching it up with the girls before I came along?"

"Well thanks to Sigma it looks like we got O'Malley." Tex sighed. She looked over at the tree to where O'Malley was and began to rub her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I broke the net..." Tex groaned.

"Wow, you really do represent failure." Pinkie Pie laughed innocently.

Tex glared daggers at Pinkie causing her to shrink back.

"Didn't it occur to you that while I was fighting those things that you should watch O'Malley?" Tex grunted. "Who am I kidding, of course it didn't. It doesn't occur to anybody that anything could happen. Even here I'm surrounded by idiots."

"I feel bad for Church." Rainbow Dash muttered.

"Why's that?"

"Because he has to love a..." Rainbow Dash trailed off.

"Bitch?" Tucker asked.

"Yeah, that."

"Church just has a fetish for women who have really short tempers." Tucker explained, causing Tex to punch him in the jaw. "Fuck!"

"If you don't mind, I have to go find O'Malley." Tex grunted as she brushed past the girls. "If you have to follow me, just stay out of my way."

"Unbelievable." Rarity aid quietly as Tex disappeared into the thicket.

"I know what you mean! It took me a months to get to the point that you're at with her." Tucker said as he went to go catch up with Tex. "It only took you guys a few hours. I guess she's already warming up to you."

Tucker then jumped through the thicket, leaving the girls to themselves.

"Was he being serious?" Fluttershy asked.

"It's hard to tell with Tucker." Rainbow Dash sighed. "So I guess we should follow them, huh?"

"Yes we should." Twilight nodded as she jumped through the underbrush.

The girls quickly caught up with Tex and Tucker, who were looking around the area.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for more of those traps." Tucker sighed. "He must be really messed up to have set up so much crap."

"He tried to recreate the Alpha, I think that shows how much he has in the sanity department. There." Tex said, pointing to a vine. She looked around once more, making sure there were no traps in the vicinity and started making her way towards it.

"Don't you think we should be avoiding these traps?" Rarity asked.

"You're right, we should leave the traps out here for others to find." Tex said. "Who cares how dangerous they are?"

"You're doing this to help others?"

"Well I'm certainly not doing this to help myself." "I may be a bitch, but I'm not a complete monster."

"Don't worry Tex, it just takes practice." Tucker assured her.

Tex picked up a branch and threw it at the vine, causing the vine to snap. The group stared at the snapped vine for a few seconds before looking at each other.

"Nothing happened?" Fluttershy asked.

"Evidently. Sigma probably set up some duds just to trick us." Tex grunted.

"But why?" Fluttershy asked.

"He probably thinks that if we think everything is a trap he can further the distance between us since we'll be too cautious.

There was a sudden snap followed by a yell originating from nearby that echoed throughout the forest.

"Sounds like O'Malley." Tex said, walking towards the source of the yelling.

"What if Sigma is using O'Malley as bait?" Tucker asked.

"Seems like the sort of thing he would do, but we have to do it."

Another snap was heard, this time from where the vine was.

"Sneaky sun of a bitch made it a delayed trap." Tex said as she got into a defensive position.

The girls looked around but saw no sign of anything dangerous. After ten seconds of waiting Tucker looked around and scratched his head.

"Tucker's thinking?" Tex asked. "Well I'll be damned."

"Is he just messing with us now?" Tucker asked.

"He already was."

"True enough." Tucker said as he began to walk again.

"Don't move." Tex hissed.

"Why not?"

"The ground is about to give way. If you touch anything it'll collapse."

"How do you know that?" Tucker asked, placing his hoof on the ground.

The earth underneath Tucker then cracked open and he fell down screaming.

"Tucker!" Rainbow Dash yelled, diving after Tucker.

The ground underneath the group quickly crumbled and they soon became enveloped in darkness.

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