Duds
"Why the hell are these wolves made of wood?" Tex asked as the wolves began circling her. Twilight opened her mouth to explain but Tex laughed. "I was just thinking out loud egghead."
One of the nearby wolves snapped at her, testing to see if she would flinch. Tex just raised a non threatened eyebrow at it to show that she wasn't afraid in the slightest. The wolves looked at each other knowing that this wasn't going to be an easy meal before tightening the circle that they had around her.
"What are you waiting for?" Tex asked as she tackled one of the larger wolves to the ground. "Let's dance, cockbite."
"Although she has much to be desired in the personality department, she does seem rather brave." Rarity noted as Tex punched the wolf in the throat. "Though I must say she might have bit off a bit more than she can chew."
"If you try to help her she'll fight you." Tucker said, keeping a close eye on the timberwolf that was still slumped over. "Don't worry, it's not you. She just likes to pretend that she's in control one hundred percent of the time."
"Does she have a mental problem?" Fluttershy asked concernedly.
"No comment."
"Mind keeping it down? I'm trying to concentrate." Tex said as she ripped off a small strip of the timberwolf's bark.
The timberwolf whimpered and snapped at her leg. She quickly pulled it away before bringing it back to punch it in the face. Another timberwolf jumped at her, but Twilight grabbed it with her magic and threw it into a tree. Tex watched as the wolf gathered it's bearings to run away before breaking the neck of the timberwolf she was pinning down. The remaining timberwolves then turned tail and fled with the understanding that they would die. Tex got off the ground and patted the dust and pieces of wood off of her body.
"Did you have to hurt them that much?" Fluttershy asked.
"Oh, I think those were relatively painless deaths. Many of the people I've killed would have considered themselves lucky in their shoes."
"Do you hurt others as a hobby or something?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously.
"No I did it for my career, any more questions?"
"I have one. How is it that you can hurt others so much without feeling anything?"
"What are you talking about? Whenever I hurt things I feel pleasure."
"So when you touch Grif you feel pleasure?" Tucker asked with a laugh. "I didn't know you felt that way about him."
"Shut up."
"That's it Tex, let it all out." Tucker said playfully as he placed his hoof on her shoulder.
"Since I can't hurt Grif as much as I'd like to I guess I'll have to settle." Tex sighed as she kicked Tucker in the balls.
"Y'know, that didn't hurt as much as it should. Guess I have you to thank for that, right Dash?" Tucker laughed weakly.
"Great, there goes two of my hobbies." Tex hissed as she kicked the remaining timberwolf unconscious.
"So any luck finding any of the fragments, or were you pretty much just bitching it up with the girls before I came along?"
"Well thanks to Sigma it looks like we got O'Malley." Tex sighed. She looked over at the tree to where O'Malley was and began to rub her face.
"What's wrong?"
"I broke the net..." Tex groaned.
"Wow, you really do represent failure." Pinkie Pie laughed innocently.
Tex glared daggers at Pinkie causing her to shrink back.
"Didn't it occur to you that while I was fighting those things that you should watch O'Malley?" Tex grunted. "Who am I kidding, of course it didn't. It doesn't occur to anybody that anything could happen. Even here I'm surrounded by idiots."
"I feel bad for Church." Rainbow Dash muttered.
"Why's that?"
"Because he has to love a..." Rainbow Dash trailed off.
"Bitch?" Tucker asked.
"Yeah, that."
"Church just has a fetish for women who have really short tempers." Tucker explained, causing Tex to punch him in the jaw. "Fuck!"
"If you don't mind, I have to go find O'Malley." Tex grunted as she brushed past the girls. "If you have to follow me, just stay out of my way."
"Unbelievable." Rarity aid quietly as Tex disappeared into the thicket.
"I know what you mean! It took me a months to get to the point that you're at with her." Tucker said as he went to go catch up with Tex. "It only took you guys a few hours. I guess she's already warming up to you."
Tucker then jumped through the thicket, leaving the girls to themselves.
"Was he being serious?" Fluttershy asked.
"It's hard to tell with Tucker." Rainbow Dash sighed. "So I guess we should follow them, huh?"
"Yes we should." Twilight nodded as she jumped through the underbrush.
The girls quickly caught up with Tex and Tucker, who were looking around the area.
"What are you doing?"
"Looking for more of those traps." Tucker sighed. "He must be really messed up to have set up so much crap."
"He tried to recreate the Alpha, I think that shows how much he has in the sanity department. There." Tex said, pointing to a vine. She looked around once more, making sure there were no traps in the vicinity and started making her way towards it.
"Don't you think we should be avoiding these traps?" Rarity asked.
"You're right, we should leave the traps out here for others to find." Tex said. "Who cares how dangerous they are?"
"You're doing this to help others?"
"Well I'm certainly not doing this to help myself." "I may be a bitch, but I'm not a complete monster."
"Don't worry Tex, it just takes practice." Tucker assured her.
Tex picked up a branch and threw it at the vine, causing the vine to snap. The group stared at the snapped vine for a few seconds before looking at each other.
"Nothing happened?" Fluttershy asked.
"Evidently. Sigma probably set up some duds just to trick us." Tex grunted.
"But why?" Fluttershy asked.
"He probably thinks that if we think everything is a trap he can further the distance between us since we'll be too cautious.
There was a sudden snap followed by a yell originating from nearby that echoed throughout the forest.
"Sounds like O'Malley." Tex said, walking towards the source of the yelling.
"What if Sigma is using O'Malley as bait?" Tucker asked.
"Seems like the sort of thing he would do, but we have to do it."
Another snap was heard, this time from where the vine was.
"Sneaky sun of a bitch made it a delayed trap." Tex said as she got into a defensive position.
The girls looked around but saw no sign of anything dangerous. After ten seconds of waiting Tucker looked around and scratched his head.
"Tucker's thinking?" Tex asked. "Well I'll be damned."
"Is he just messing with us now?" Tucker asked.
"He already was."
"True enough." Tucker said as he began to walk again.
"Don't move." Tex hissed.
"Why not?"
"The ground is about to give way. If you touch anything it'll collapse."
"How do you know that?" Tucker asked, placing his hoof on the ground.
The earth underneath Tucker then cracked open and he fell down screaming.
"Tucker!" Rainbow Dash yelled, diving after Tucker.
The ground underneath the group quickly crumbled and they soon became enveloped in darkness.
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Looks like Sigma's got quick hooves.
Bow chicka bow-*smack*
...ow.
Sigma used a Team Rocket trap?
Not a bad chapter. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a new episode to watch.
Nice to know Tex has a heart, no matter how small it may be.
734404 Or cold, blackened with hate and filled with evil it may be.
YAYZ
I guess Tucker couldn't fly after being kicked in the balls....
734375 forums.playfire.com/_proxy/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.halolz.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F09%2Fhalolz-dot-com-nope.avi.gif&hmac=f1153b1df6d87ba4096c31bf75a2a9aa
734492
I'm going to quote myself from last week on the RT Forums:
"That was fucking awesome. So fucking awesome. The models are ridiculously detailed this season, and I can see the benefit Monty's getting from having a whole team now. Some may argue that there was a lack of plot, but that's retarded. This is the second episode, we have to establish the setting before we bring in the narrative. What better way to establish the setting than with a big ass zero-grav shootout?"
My point is, we're three episodes in, let's be patient
Oh and DarkWing, you kick ass, seriously. Tonight was like a double dose of Red vs Blue goodness
734492
Roosterteeth's changed alot. I bet season 1 people would be just as surprised, "oh my god, it has a legitimate story?!?!?!"
734375
Remember how I said I'll be deleting comments that say first in them?
DAT season 10 episode 3 ref
and wow tucker has sure gotten used to being kick in the plasma grenades
Nice chapter.
734755
Whoops. My bad. Will rectify.
I liked RvB back when everything was their (Church's) fault, when all of their problems had been caused by themselves, and when everyone was either human(former), Lopez, Shelia, or Donut.
Where's my comment
FUCK! I FORGOT!
734492 Give it time man, the season just started.
you quoted the latest episode! I give you fucking props man
Can o' WHUPASS. Just got spilled. Oh shit.
images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/3/23/128823445998703958.jpg
I only have one problem with this. Fluttershy seems to have a much smaller reaction to Tex hurting the wolves than i thought she would. Doesn't seem right to me.
Y u no Flutterrage?
736779>>737064
When one sees another kill multiple things without hesitating, the one often hesitates from criticizing. You forget that while she loves animals and shit she isn't the bravest of ponies.
737082 hmmmmm, good point. TO THE BATCAVE! AWAY!
You sir earned yourself a watch. Well done.
734381 Heh; you're lucky you got away with just a slap from Tex.
This has got to be the single most amazing thing in existence.
734381
Sir not only do I applaud your comment, but your avatar as well
734381 Worth it.
HOly shit, Tucker IS thinking. RUN FOR THY LIVES, IT BEITH A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE CABOOSE LEARNETH MATH!
how on earth did he manage to dig so many damned holes!
I shouldn't complain about this but I saw multiple grammar errors. Oh well, they were minor so it's fine.
I still really enjoy this, so please don't think that hate it 
Wow someone is having lots of fun with a shovel.
3023949
Diggy Diggy hole!
5134890
I am a dwarf and i'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole
6014914
Surprised nobody's made a team rocket joke yet.
so much for don't touch anything