Dangerous Thinking
This thing is full of nothing but praise for the town. Gary thought to himself after reading the pledge for the fifth time.
It's not that he couldn't memorize it. Far from it. If it was something else he could have it memorized in a matter of minutes. It was the fact that he was so disgusted with how bad the pledge was he couldn't bring himself to memorize it, lest he poison his mind. He groaned and began rubbing his eyes, feeling as if they were open for hours.
"Unbelievable." Mayor Mare said quietly, looking at Gary intently.
"What?" Gary asked.
"How much have you memorized?" Mayor Mare asked in return.
"Almost all of it." Gary lied. He sighed and looked out the window at the setting sun. "It's the evening already?"
"Yes, and might I say that your concentration is remarkable." Mayor Mare commented. "It's a very admirable quality."
"Yes, well, you must concentrate if you have a quick wit. And this pledge is so... pledgy." Gary said, finishing his sentence with a heavy breath through his nostrils, unable to bring himself to compliment it.
"How are you not hungry?" Mayor Mare asked.
"I just don't eat much." Gary mumbled. "Knock knock."
"Hm?"
"Knock knock." Gary repeated, smiling at her, only to make her cooperate.
"Who's there?" Mayor Mare asked hesitantly.
"Eddy."
"Eddy who?"
"Eddy chance you can tell me when I can go home?"
"Well, you aren't really working here yet, so you could leave now." Mayor Mare smiled. "Right now this is more community service, if anything."
"Great." Gary nodded as he got up from his desk. Even though he was reluctant to go back to the Apples, he wanted a chance to walk just to shake off the disturbed feeling he got from reading the paper.
"Make sure you don't forget to bring it with you." Mayor Mare said, referring to the pledge. "And have some food when you get back. I don't want my assistant to starve before he becomes my assistant."
Gary nodded and reached for the pledge, but stopped when he saw the book of laws. He wrestled with the thought of taking it home. It was essential to his plan. He quickly remembered that knowing the laws would be useless if he doesn't get hired, so he looked at the book of laws one last time, before putting it in the drawer and closing it with a sigh.
"The pledge recital is at noon, just in front of this building." Mayor Mare said, returning attention to her own affairs.
"Good to know." Gary said, before trotting up and opening the door.
"Say hello to Granny Smith for me."
"Will do." Gary muttered as he rolled up the parchment with his hoof, then placed the roll of paper in his teeth to hold it, and left.
Gary trotted through town, for once undisturbed due to most ponies being in their homes. He found the walk oddly relaxing, so he slowed his pace from a brisk trot, to a slow walk, where he constantly took breaks. The fresh air quickly washed away the sick feeling he had, and he didn't want to spoil the moment by interacting with any of the Apples earlier then he had to. He arrived at Sweet Apple Acres half an hour later and stood at the gateway for a few moments, collecting his thoughts.
"You're back early." Sarge said, seemingly coming out of nowhere. "Did the Mayor fire you?"
"No, she didn't." Gary said condescendingly through the roll of paper in his mouth. Though his voice was monotone, others were able to pick up on his emotions remarkably well.
"Not yet at least." Sarge chuckled, eyes lingering to his mouth. "What's with that piece of paper?"
"This?" Gary asked, spitting out the parchment into his hoof. "This isn't just a piece of paper, this is the Ponyvillian Pledge."
"Uh-huh." Sarge muttered. "I expected you to bring a law book to study."
Though Gary remained indifferent in appearance, his brain started ticking over with worry. As much as Gary hated to admit it, this one was smarter than he let on. He would have to be careful around the red menace.
"Well, I'm taking my job seriously, thank you very much." Gary huffed, quickly trotting toward the farm house. "Now if you don't mind I have some memorizing to do."
Sarge watched Gary disappear into the Apple family home in silence, wondering how sincere Gary was being. Inside the home, Gary threw the rolled up sheet onto the kitchen table and took a seat to read it.
"Ah, just in time for lunch!" Granny Smith chuckled, walking through one door into the kitchen, and out the one Gary had entered. "Give me a moment t' call Sarge back in."
"Take all the time you need." Gary mumbled as he thought of leaving to a more secluded area, but his stomach growled and he remembered Mayor Mare telling him to eat. As much as he hated it, he needed some of the baser requirements, just like most shisnos.
"How's it goin' Gary?" Applebloom asked, hopping up onto a chair.
"Fine." Gary grunted. Though he only interacted once with the little Apple, he was just as wary of her as he was the others.
"Wacha readin'?" Applebloom asked, snatching the paper out of his hooves.
"Give that back." Gary grunted, reaching for the parchment.
"The Ponyvillian Pledge?" Applebloom echoed, before smiling widely. "Hey, we should make a pledge for the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"
"Yes, you do that, now give it back!" Gary commanded.
"Awful lotta big words in here." Applebloom chuckled. "Shame Sweetie Belle ain't here!"
"Fascinating story. I would love to hear more once I have that back."
Applebloom began reading the pledge aloud, much to Gary's annoyance.
"What's goin' on in here?" Applejack asked, walking into the kitchen with Big Mac.
"Gary brought in this funny piece of paper, an' ah was just readin' it." Applebloom said, before looking back down to read.
"Applebloom, don't annoy Gary. Give that back t' him."
"But Sarge said-"
"Ah know, Sarge is a great fella, but in terms of how t' treat others ah wouldn't count on him for sound advice." Applejack chuckled.
"My advice is the best advice you all will hear." Sarge corrected her jokingly, walking into the kitchen with Granny Smith.
"Everyshisno is here? Fantastic, may I have the pledge back?" Gary asked, forcing out the politeness.
Applebloom looked to Sarge, and he nodded at her. Applebloom smiled and nodded and gave the script back. Gary snatched it quickly, just in case she tried to pull it away, and then gave Sarge an annoyed look.
"Now what do ya say?" Applejack asked.
"Sorry." Applebloom rolled her eyes.
"Applebloom." Applejack said slowly. "Ya know that ain't how the Apples treat others."
"Sorry for takin' your piece of paper." Applebloom mumbled.
"That's better." Applejack nodded, taking a seat at the table. "So th' pledge, huh?"
"Yes, any other questions?" Gary asked.
"Didn't mean t' be a bother." Applejack sighed as the others took a seat at the table.
At least she's trying. Gary thought to himself, then scowled. Can't think like that. She is a shisno, and a dangerous one at that.
"How much have you gotten down into your head?" Sarge asked roughly.
"Not much." Gary replied truthfully. He figured he would have to tell as much truth to Sarge as he could spare to get him off his back. "It is nothing but talking about how great this town is, and I find it difficult to remember something that I don't believe in. It's torturous just reading the thing."
"Really?" Sarge asked, feeling Gary was being mildly truthful. "Then by all means, carry on."
"You really are an example for the young ones. They should call you Saint Shisno." Gary sniffed.
"Maybe, it has a nice ring to it." Sarge said to annoy Gary. "Maybe the title should be Saint Shisno, Shithead Gary's better.'
"How pleasant. That reminds me of a joke. What's big, red and has a brain smaller than a walnut?" Gary asked icily.
"Enough yappin', it's time to eat!" Granny Smith exclaimed, giving plates of apple cobbler to everybody.
Gary stared at the food, then to Sarge, and then to the pledge. He then decided he had not enjoyed this day thus far.
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i.qkme.me/3pfxdw.jpg
Gary you are going native on us........you shall soon join the herd
1089270
Figured I might as well play it safe.
good job but are you really bringing junior back?
1089263 i agree
Oh! I know the answer Gary! It's you if you even think about trying to posses the mayor or anyone else you yellow cockbite.
I liked it, I finally reached the latest chapter in a couple days from chapter 1 and I love it! I love you!
1089263
in my opinion...
Ah, Gary slipped for a second, there.
IT HAS BEGUN.
I wonder how Church is going to react to the news that Gary is going to be in a position that is close to a position of power? His reaction will probably involve lots of swearing.
Oh, and on a completely random tangent, I just had this feeling in my gut that Gary at some point should try to grow a mustache. I mean...if it is even possible, but just think of the possibilities. Give him that mischievous politician look.
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/9/EjiCc8g2Xkq2qRMzkgBDDw2.jpg
THIS IS WHAT TUCKER IS THINKING please listen to Tucker. we need more bow chicka bow wows
Woot. And I thought I would hate Gary forever. Apparently becoming living makes you...uhm...ugh...oh yeah, pony! He will convert somewhat atleast haha
"He would have to be careful around the red menace."
COMMIES?! WHERE!?
I can't wait for Gary to take the oath for two reasons. 1. I have a feeling he's going to really hate it and wash his mouth out with soap afterwords, and 2. For some reason, this Gary Arc ain't as interesting as the arcs you've had before. I kind of want a check up on the other guys (Tucker, Caboose, Grif). However, I'm fine if the Gary Arc lasts a few more chapters. I am a patient person...
*Flips a table while no one is looking*
Ok, all good.
Good chapter as always
1089570
They'll all be there at his speech.
Ok, this is before I fanfic and I have never read "Red and Blue" or heard of Caboose...
Let's start this shit!
I would love to read a chapter based on Pinkies and Cabooses adventure.
1089833 have fun being confused xDDD the link to rvb is in the description watch it youll enjoy it :P
1089969
Thanks. I'm on episode 2. Enjoying it so far. Kind of funny ^^
1090448 I'm pretty sure theres a code that deletes all files named a certain thing. If a machine can make 1000 backups per second, it can likely delete them far faster then that.
"He quickly remembered that knowing the laws would be useless if he doesn't get hired, so he book of laws one last time, before putting it in the drawer and closing it with a sigh"
I think theres something missing... Like: looked at the
But thats the only mistake i could find. Great chapter
-scrolls down through chapters- damn.... Daaaayum.... DAYUM! Is this thing gonna stop sometime this week?
Ok, I have to read this now.
Well found a torture tool to use on Gary and it's easy to get. Da Pledge of Shisnos! And I have no fucking idea what a shisno is.
2243535
a Shisno is.....
2243535
OOOOH I have TONS of torture devices to use on Gary; the breast ripper (can be used on more than just breasts you know), thumbscrews, the rack, the scavenger's daughter, the kneespliter, crocodile shears, the lead sprinkler, a choke pear (both anal and oral), the Spanish donkey/Judas chair, Scold's bridle, heretic's fork, and I would finish him off with the intestinal crank.
I just looked up what a shinso is. It's the Japanese word for vampire. Which makes the context of how Gary uses it make no sense.
2715625
He says shisno not shinso
2739679 what if he said shinga instead? would it mean he's part of the sa'kage?
2715625 they eat his ideas
And give him MIND cancer