Gary finished his speech ten minutes later, and by the end his face was turning green from nausea. As soon as he uttered the last phrase, he shuddered with relief then began to trudge off stage, feeling as if he had lost the last shred of dignity he had left.
"Ya did good up there, Gary." Applejack said as he approached him with the others, walking next to him as he reached the bottom. "But you're not-"
"Just... please, is there a hole I can crawl into anywhere nearby?" Gary asked with a yawn. "Particularly a place I can wait out the rest of my existence."
"It wasn't that bad." Twilight noted brightly.
"Oh, no, it was. It really was." Gary disagreed, walking towards the farm.
"Neighoming, where are you going?" Mayor Mare asked from the stage. "You still have to answer the crowds questions."
"But I'm just an assistant, what questions do I have to answer?" Gary asked abysmally, wanting nothing more than to leave.
"Just the formalities." Mayor Mare assured him. "I know you're not feeling well, and this probably won't make it better, but it's just something that needs to be done."
Gary's lip twitched and he turned to walk away, but Church stopped him.
"Get out of my way please." Gary mumbled.
"No." Church shook his head. "You're going to go up there and tell them everything they want to know."
"I thought you were opposed to me doing this." Gary said, eyeing church contemptibly.
"I am, but you're already in too deep. If you leave now you'll do nothing but bring attention to yourself."
"You're not the boss of me." Gary growled, then stared at the ground. He is correct, in a way. I came too far to back out now. With a deep breath, he turned towards the stage. "Very well. I will answer their questions, then I shall give up."
Mayor Mare smiled at him once he came back on stage, happy that he had not left. Reluctantly, Gary looked back out at the crowd, and then to the microphone. Even more reluctantly, he walked up to the microphone and cleared his throat to answer questions.
"Neighoming, who do you believe is the best Princess?" A pony from the audience asked.
"Er, excuse me?" Gary said, tapping into the mic.
"Who is your favorite Princess?" The pony asked again.
"Is that a serious question?" Gary inquired, wondering how this was relevant.
"He doesn't like the Princesses!" The pony yelled.
"No, no, no! That isn't what I meant." Gary said when the crowd gasped. "I simply meant how can I choose between two wonderful rulers?"
The ponies in the crowd cheered, while Gary stood with a face of astonishment at just how easy they were to please. After half a minute, the stomping ceased, leaving the air open for more questions.
"How long do you intend to help Mayor Mare?" Church asked icily, taking a step out of the crowd.
"As long as I can." Gary smirked at him. "As long as she feels the need to have me around, I will continue to work my hardest. Something most others should learn to do."
"What are your plans?" Sarge asked loudly, stepping next to Church.
"I intend to help Mayor Mare, of course. Didn't you hear my last answer?"
"Not those plans, I mean-" Sarge began.
"Where are the Lucky Charms?" Caboose interrupted with a yell, jumping to the other side of Church.
"Er, I don't know." Gary mumbled honestly.
"Aw, shucks." Caboose said sadly, kicking a pebble.
"Now are there any more questions? Preferably none that are unnecessary?"
"What's your favorite color?" Caboose asked.
Gary let out a loud sigh into the microphone. Several dozen questions later, most of which coming from Caboose, the crowd no longer had anything to ask him. He looked at Mayor Mare, and she nodded at a group of ponies, who came out from behind the stage carrying instruments. Gary strolled off the stage and the town band started playing a happy song, which only made Gary feel more sick. He was not enjoying this oh-so-happy lifestyle. He looked around and aw that the others were heading towards the same direction. Happy he was being left alone, he began walking towards the farm, but was stopped when someone grabbed onto his shoulder.
"Please, no more!" Gary begged, jumping to the hooves of the one that stopped him. "I'm sick, I'm tired, and I just want to curl up into a ball and hide somewhere!"
"Then how are you going to come to my party, silly?" Pinkie asked.
"I don't want to go to a party!" Gary sobbed, hitting the ground with his hooves like a child.
"Come on, I'm throwing it just for you." Pinkie said, kicking her foreleg up, making Gary land on his feet. "I promise you'll have fun."
"No I won't."
"Yes you will." Pinkie nodded.
"No I won't." Gary asserted, beginning to walk away from the conversation.
"Oh, I'm pretty sure you will." Pinkie assured him as she jumped in his way, grinning brightly.
"No I won't, I refuse to take part in your stupid little-" Gary started.
"Fine, have it your way, you can't come anyways." Pinkie shrugged, walking away. "It's funny ponies only."
"Now hold on just a minute, if I want to go, then I will." Gary said angrily. "And I'm three-thousand times funnier than you are!"
"So does that mean you want to go?" Pinkie asked with fake disinterest.
"Yes?" Gary asked after a few seconds.
"Okay, I guess you can go then." Pinkie nodded, hopping towards Sugar Cube Corner.
"Good!" Gary said, satisfied that he tricked her into letting him go into the party she was throwing for him, he followed her towards the sweet shop. "Stupid shisno."
They soon arrived at their destination, and Pinkie knocked on the door.
"Who is there?" Caboose asked from inside.
"Gary." Gary said loudly.
"Gary who?"
"That's my line!"
Caboose opened the door and stared at Gary with a look of confusion.
"What?" Gary asked quietly, not enjoying being stared at.
"Oh, now I get it!" Caboose laughed, before closing the door.
"His IQ must make him King of the shisnos..." Gary grunted.
"Not yet. And he said he wanted to be the Queen!" Pinkie said with a giggle as she pushed open the door. "But we promised he'd get to be the Queen only if I could be the King!"
With that, Gary watched as Pinkie hopped into the shop, humming to herself. Gary hesitated at the door when he saw the large amount of ponies filling the building, chatting away happily. He slowly stepped into the shop, when the door slammed shut behind him.
"So nice of you to come." Tex said, holding the door shut. Church and Twilight were standing beside her.
"Yes well, I wasn't going to let that pink menace prevent me from coming." Gary huffed. "Can you believe the nerve, telling me what I'm not allowed to do!"
"I know, that must boil you up." Church chuckled, knowing full well what Pinkie did. "Why don't you go get some punch?"
"No thank you, being here is enough to show that pink one who is the smartest." Gary shook his head, not keen on drinking anything else given to him by a shisno.
"He really doesn't get it, does he?" Twilight asked, smiling innocently at him.
"Get what?"
Twilight opened her mouth to explain it to him, but was quickly silenced.
"Wait for it." Tex said, putting her hoof over Twilight's mouth. "Let him figure it out on his own. It will make him feel like less of an idiot."
"Figure what out?" Gary asked, looking around the party, expecting there to be a trap. He then looked over to Pinkie, who filled a glass with punch and gave it to one of the many ponies standing near her. It then snapped in place, and instantly any smugness he felt had vanished, and had been filled with spite.
"There it is, he got it." Church sighed, patting Gary on the back. "Don't worry buddy, happens to the best of us."
No. Gary thought. It does not happen to the best of us. I have been tricked. Deceived. My second best trait was used against me! The nerve. I should go up to her and set her straight. Gary opened his mouth to call her out, but stopped to consider the situation. And then he began to smile. "Challenge accepted."