Applejack came out of her room to see Sarge chuckling as Twilight made her way down the stairs.
"What were ya talkin' ta Twilight about?"
"Nothing." Sarge said.
"Sarge d'ya mind if we have a lil talk?"
"Sure. You admitting defeat in our little competition?"
"Ya hafta be not right in the head if ya think I'd give up that easily." Applejack laughed. "Ah was just wonderin' if ya would like to come to a weddin'. Sarge fell to the ground and burst out with laughter. "What's so funny 'bout it?" Applejack asked.
"Did you just ask me to go to a wedding?" Sarge said through the laughter.
"Yeah, ah did."
"And you want me to go to this wedding... with the blues?"
"Yes." Applejack grunted.
"Hold that thought." Sarge said, stifling his laughter. He walked out of the room and into the hallway and burst out with laughter for a second time.
"If ya don't go ah'm afraid that that means ya chickened out n' ah'll get another point in our lil competition." Applejack called out smugly, stopping Sarge's laughter completely.
"I'm not afraid to go." Sarge muttered as he walked back in to the room.
"Ya gunna prove it, or ya just gunna be all talk?" Applejack asked with a smirk.
"Well played." Sarge grunted. "I'm sure as hell not going to give up that easily."
"Ah knew ya wouldn't. Now let's git on down to Rarity's store so we kin getcha a suitable, er, suit."
"You want me to wear a damned monkey suit?" Sarge laughed. "What’s next? Do you want me to treat the blues with respect too?"
"Ah do."
Sarge stared at Applejack silently. "Torture doesn't seem to be one of your pastimes, so why do you want me to go to this wedding?"
"Twilight is mah friend. Ah wanna support Twilight as well as her family."
"Doesn't explain why I have to go..." Sarge grunted
"Ya mean besides the fact that ah'd git a point?" Applejack laughed. "Ya never know. Ya could end up havin' some fun."
"Right. Why can't that Rarity pony just free ball the suit? Isn't she a professional or something?"
"Yeah, she is. Twilight told me that Rarity requested you to come personally. Somethin' 'bout ya havin' a different build than the others or somethin' along those lines."
Sarge mumbled as he thought through his options. On one side he would lose a point because he didn't go. On the other side he would have to wear a suit and be nice to the blues. He shuddered at that final thought and let out a disgruntled sigh.
"Well? What's it gunna be?" Applejack asked.
"It's a lose lose situation for me, isn't it?" Sarge muttered. "Fine, let's just get it over with."
"Glad t' hear it." Applejack smiled as she walked to the door.
Applejack led a reluctant Sarge to the Carousel Boutique, simply walking in once they arrived. "Rarity, are ya in here?" Applejack called out.
"Yes Applejack dear, did you bring Sarge like I asked?' Rarity asked as she emerged from her room.
"Yea, ah did."
"Excellent, come this way Sarge, and Simmons will take your measurements. Applejack you may stay down here on the couch as there is really not much more room up there but we will call you when Sarge is finished."
Applejack and Sarge both nodded as Applejack went to sit down on the couch. Sarge went in to Rarity's room where Simmons was standing next to a small stand.
"Hey Sarge." Simmons greeted.
"Simmons." Sarge nodded.
"Sarge if you wouldn't mind stepping on the stand next to Simmons we can get started." Rarity said as she grabbed some black hoof-finished wool.
"How long is this going to take?" Sarge asked as he stepped onto the stand.
"Just a couple of hours. Your build is far larger than most stallions that I have made suits for, so it may take a bit longer than usual."
"So I have to stand still for a couple hours?" Sarge asked flatly.
"Simmons will hold you in place using magic so you do not get tired." Rarity explained as she went to another table to grab a needle.
"What will I during that time? Stare at a wall?" Sarge laughed.
"Sarge why don't you use this time to think of more demeaning things to say to Grif?" Simmons asked as he started measuring Sarge.
"Good thinking Simmons." Sarge replied with a chuckle. "Alright. Demeaning, demeaning. How about Grif you're a lazy son of a bitch and I think you'd look better ten feet under?"
"That is a good one Sarge." Simmons said.
"Are we done yet?"
"I'm not even done measuring you yet." Simmons said quietly.
"Great! More time to think of things to say to Grif!" Sarge laughed.
Sarge continued rambling about Grif being an idiot as Rarity set to work on the suit and Simmons started to hold Sarge in place. Over the next two hours, Rarity got a new appreciation for the contempt which Sarge held for Grif. The amount of one-liners he came up with was astounding, though very few of them were actually all that impressive.
"...you are so stupid that you make me feel dumber by just being near you! How about that one?"
"Another good one Sarge." Simmons said.
"Aaaand... done." Rarity said, backing away from Sarge. "Go get Applejack and I will get the mirror."
Simmons nodded and brought Applejack up to the room where Sarge was standing in his newly-made black suit.
"Lookin' good Sarge." Applejack laughed.
Rarity pushed a mirror in front of Sarge and he smiled tightly.
"I am, aren't I?" Sarge chuckled as he looked himself over in the mirror. "But us reds look good in anything, so that's not much of a surprise."
"Donut would have said the same sir." Simmons said.
"Yeah he would have, wouldn't he?" Sarge grunted.
"So how will you be paying for this?" Rarity asked.
"Uh, what do y-"
"I am just joking." Rarity said. "The suit is free of charge."
"That's awfully generous of you." Sarge said.
"It's just who I am darling. Now if you take off the suit I will stow it away so it does not get ripped."
Sarge nodded and freed himself from the suit. They said their goodbyes and Sarge and Applejack made their way back to the farm.
"So how'dya like the suit?" Applejack asked.
"It's good I guess." Sarge grunted. "I'm just glad I have more material to use on Grif."