Ready, Set, Chaos
"Hmm... by the looks of your faces, I'm willing to bet that Celestia didn't tell you about them?" Discord asked with insincere shock as he watched everyone collect their jaws. "It really does seem like something you would tell the Elements of Harmony of all ponies..."
"Woah, woah, woah, wait up." Rainbow Dash said, shaking her head clear of any other thoughts. "Celestia knew about this?"
"But of course! Why else do you think she had that last ditch effort of trying to get rid of Church? She wanted to split the Elements up, and she felt-"
"Church may be brash, as I am certain I, as well as many others, have said in the past, but why would she want to get rid of him?" Rarity interrupted.
"Oh, right, I should have assumed Church would have been quiet about it on the way here..." Discord said as he scratched his chin. "Ah, he'll tell you when the time feels right.
"Why didn't she send them back?" Fluttershy asked in her usual timid manner while the other Elements, bar herself and Pinkie, eyed Church nervously, even though the others were to be considered a threat now as well.
"Harsh." Grif said quietly.
"I didn't... um... sorry." Fluttershy said quietly.
"You know what they say, don't you? Keep your friends close and all that jazz." Discord chuckled. "Why else do you think she keeps both myself, the Necronomicon and many of her other enemies and magical artifacts near her? Certainly not for show, that's for sure, otherwise I'd be the centerpiece of this room. I mean, just look at the color schemes. Ick."
"I know, they should really add a bit of blue to make the place better."
"Caboose, Discord, stop encouraging each other."
"You can't tell me what to do." Discord mumbled as a child would when ordered to do something by their parents. With the snap of his fingers, Church got lifted in the air and flipped upside down. "I, however, can tell you what to do if I so desire."
"Put me down!" Church yelled as he shook his hooves wildly in an attempt to stabalie and land on his feet.
"Make me."
"Discord, put Church down and tell us where the Princesses are!" Twilight commanded.
"I don't know, what will you do for-"
"Hey, what about me?" Caboose asked as Discord threw Church about the room, being both gentle as well as vigorous. "I want to be the Element of Blue! Or maybe the Element of Cookies!"
"Why, you get to be the most important role of all." Discord smiled as a large, colorful hat appeared over Caboose as Discord dropped Church back into his spot. "You get to be the mascot!"
"Oh. My. God!" Caboose wailed with pure, concentrated ecstasy as he grabbed the hat and slammed it on his head. "It's just what I've always wanted!"
"Ah, what a lovable little scamp." Discord said as Caboose hopped around the room. "Anyways, where was I? Oh well, must not have been that important if I forgot already..."
"Celestia and Luna." Twilight hissed, taking a step towards him, not caring that she couldn't harm him with the Elements.
"Right, the Princesses." Discord said with a sigh, snapping his fingers to make two angry looking alicorn statues to appear next to the steps to the throne. "As you can see they yelled at me, so naturally I offered them a drink, but that only got them angrier, so I did what came to me as the second most natural thing; I turned them into stone."
"And people say I overreact." Church grumbled.
"You do overreact." Tucker smirked.
"Shut it." Church snapped, scanning Discord's face. "Now, while I do appreciate Celestia's new look, I think I'd like it if you let her go."
"Nuh-uh. No can do. Sorry, Churchy." Discord said as he shook his head as fast as he could.
"Why not?"
"Because while the Elements of Harmony are being corrupted, the Elements of Chaos are being harmonized, so right now you have to play along with my rules. Though you already knew that coming in here."
"Yeah, yeah. What are your games?"
"Is it Jenga?" Caboose guessed wildly. "Ooh, ooh, how about Battleship."
"Neither of those, I'm afraid. Well, not really. I will place you all in a series of scenarios, in which there would be three outcomes." Discord said, holding up his right arm and extending his claws as he counted them out. "The first one is you succumb to the chaos inside you. In that case, we all win. You get to live, I get to live, and you will be my disciples. The second option is you find out what the girls represent. And I mean exactly. You can't be close to right."
"But we know this stuff. Twilight is the Element of Magic." Church said, turning to Sarge.
"Applejack is the Element of... of, er... hard work?" Sarge asked himself and a large buzzing sound went off.
"Ah'm th' Element of-" Applejack began, but her mouth was forced shut.
"Now, now. Don't ruin the fun. If you try and tell them your Element, you will be silenced. Church got his right, but Sarge was wrong." Discord chuckled, now wearing large, comedic looking glasses. "Next?"
"Fuck, I'm sure Dash told me at one point or another." Tucker muttered.
"Maybe if you spent lest time chasing her tail..." Simmons grumbled.
"Don't be jealous that I'm closer than you're getting."
"No you're not." Rainbow Dash smiled innocently at him.
"Besides, Simmons is not interested in that. He is much more refined than you, and while he is an Element of so called Chaos, he is one of the most gentlecoltly stallions I have ever had the pleasure of meeting."
"Hey!" Rainbow Dash said before Tucker could, pointing one of her wings at Simmons. "Tucker may not be refined, but at least he isn't a cardboard cutout personality like that!"
"I'm... standing right here." Simmons said quietly, sharing a nervous glance with Tucker.
"No kidding. They must be on their-"
"Tucker, be quiet!" Rarity and Rainbow Dash said together.
"Girls!" Twilight screeched, nearly shattering the eardrums of the two arguing mares. "This is Discord's doing."
"I'm not doing anything. You can't just pin every little thing on me." Discord said, waving his claws in front of his face, then stopped and scratched his chin. "Just most of the little things."
"Fine, so either become peaceful, which is never going to happen, or submit to chaos, which might actually-"
"Will definitely." Grif added.
"-Happen." Church finished. "So what's the third option?"
"The third option? Oh, right. That. I don't think I should bother mentioning it since I doubt you'll ever do it..."
"Just say it."
"The third option is you figure out your little Tex problem." Discord smiled.
"Figure it out? I've been trying to do that for years and have made no progress." Church growled, beginning to wish that Celestia wasn't trapped in stone.
"Ah, but you've never been given a hint." Discord stated, vanishing from behind the bar just to reappear behind Church's back, claw on his side as if they were old friends.
"A hint?"
"Yes, a hint." Discord nodded firmly, now resting on a hammock that was being held up on either end by the Royal Sisters.
"And what would that be?"
"Be yourself." Discord sighed. "I mean, you've know the answer all along, so it can't be that hard."
"You want the Alpha?" Church asked, eyes narrowing on Discord as he remembered Sigma. "You really do want chaos."
"You would be surprised with what I want." Discord said kindly, eyes lingering on Church. "Anyways, now that you know the challenge and your options, the games have begun."
"I love games!" Caboose yelled, hat now covering his eyes.
"Ha ha, I know you do, my dear boy. Church, you will stay here and watch the others' progress." Discord giggled. As Discord snapped his fingers, the Elements of Chaos were thrown into other areas of Canterlot. "Good luck."
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Sorry for the short chapter, more drinking games tonight so I had to write this one quickly so I could go back to pong.
Cmon, its getting better! I want more MORE!
1471827 Seriously, man. If I could right half as well as this, I'd be a happy man. You get all of their personalities pretty spot on 99% of the time.
Reserving judgement for now...
1471827 At least we got SOME words to read
If Pinkie gets discorded the Caboose is going to become the living MAC round aimed for Discords face god of chaos is nothing to O'malley Caboose.
One thing I have to say, that title image, while be well drawn, it looks like the church pony has a key for a cutie mark, wouldnt that make more sense with Tucker? Y'know the whole a key? and when you stab it in people, it unlocks their death.
Yay, 50 brownie points says that Fluttershy beats up Grif later on
1471898"Memory is the key" in reference to Epsilon-Church, who is the fragment of the Alpha(the first Church in series) that represents the Alpha's memories.
The second most natural thing? You must be losing quite badly at pong there. Discord doesn't turn ponies into stone.
Good way to get them out of the way though, and solid writing as always.
1471906 I'LL TAKE THAT BET
I'm guessing the mane six are going to get corrupted
Poor grif if fluttershy gets discorded
everbody stop saying discord doesnt turn ponies to stone. He's chaos! Not te motherfucking element of honesty!
I'm itching for the next one!
1472105 very true
Ouch. Now we will see the two sets of Elements duke it out I presume? I mean some of them already are close to giving in: Simmons and Grif.
Maybe discord is lying about turning the princesses to stone? That is more his style of making everypony freak out over nothing.
Y'know discord is about as unreadable then the twilight series and unpredictable like inception
fuckin brain
wait is church suspose to stay behind or caboose....
I need the next chapter.
I LOVE THIS. The story line is superb, the characters really do fit in well, and I love RedVSBlue. This is outstanding. Keep it up
318K words and incomplete? And it's my two favourite thing combined?
*Adds to read late queue*
105 pages of comments....
1471871>>1471963
Well now the stakes have been raised and a higher chance of success is present, so the gloves are off.
1472406
Both of them.
Caboose isn't in the game and Church already knows Twilight's Element.
1474917 oh ok thanks for clearing that up
Well shit birthrate fan Discord wants Alpha but what about the Beta?
O man Alpha vs discord...
1471860 1472734 im with you guys i had a story and in the first 2 chapters + prologue i managed to get 500% more dislikes than likes
i removed it becuse it was too depressing 
oh... Discord whats Alfa i think i know who his ally is now (sigma)
but why in Luna's mane would he want Alfa
I have got a feeling that Caboose will somehow bring about Discord's end..
1474610
*Now imagining Discord with gloves*
1479945
me too, but you know, after the wedding a while back i just skipped to discord he is my fav villain!
i bet somehow, church finds out that alpha isnt actually crazy.
Why do I get the felling it will come down to option three?