Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare...
There on center stage was the undefeated beast of burden; the one of lopsided eyes and a dismal expression. "Umm... There were more voices last time I was here."
And the gloves were off last time you were here too...
...Life's a horse...
"A horse?"
Yeah...
...Like the kind that trot over all of your hopes and dreams and leaves you crippled on the side of the road so the timberwolves get you...
"...Alrighty."
Yes...
...Alrighty indeed...
Derpy...
...is afraid of waffle-irons...
"Waffle-iron! Who uses a waffle-iron when you can have a muffin made?"
I use a waffle-iron...
...Example...
In a moment, Derpy was clonked on the top of her head with a stray waffle-iron tossed from the darkness. However, Derpy remained unfazed.
And I'll keep throwing those at you until you are afraid of them...!
"...Keep throwing what?"
Darn you're good...
Derpy...
...can't pull the wool over my eyes...
"I don't have any wool."
Sure you do...
...You have the wool of your shroud of lies you carry around...
...Lies that you can't pull on me...
...Because I'm in your mind...
...I'm like a bear in the zoo that has some stupid kid fall into his pin...
"What's a zoo?"
Hush now...
...I'm doing an analogy...
Like I said...
...I don't just kill my new piece of meat...
...I play with it...
...And I've been playing with you for two too long...
...Time to bring you down...!
"But I'm already on the ground..."
Your mind games won't work on me this time...!
"Like hopscotch?"
...
Derpy...
...is just a lonely zombie...
"...You lost me at just."
See...?
You already don't have a brain...
...You're pretty much a zombie already...
"...What was that after 'you'?"
Derpy...
...Is helping me...
"Yay! I'm helping!"
Yes...
Do you want to know what you're helping me with...?
"Oh! Oh! Is it baking?"
Yes Derpy...
...It's a type of baking...
...The baking of your demise...
"...Is that chocolate flavored?"
Better...
...It's the flavor of revenge...
"Mmmm... Sounds yum-tastic!"
Oh...
...It will be...
Derpy...
...didn't hear us come in through the door...
"Oh! Your buddies are here! Now everypony can have some 'revenge' flavored food!"
...What have you been telling her...?
Just something to pass the time...
Derpy...
...takes part in vandalism...
"The Mayor tells me that all the time! She also says I'm 'a lawsuit in motion'."
...Right...
...Well we have proof you vandalize...
"Really?" In answer to her question, a blue police box landed beside her with a loud crash. The box seemed to have been broken in the windows and dented all over; the paint scratched off in many places and the words "Mii Derpee Toetaly did dis' sprayed across the face of it.
See...?
...Your name is written all over it...
...In one places...
...because we didn't have time to--
--clean all of it off...
...Because we're good samaritans...
What do you have to say for yourself...?
"...Muffin?"
A likely story...
But here...
...Have this as a good luck gift...
Before questioning why she would need a good luck gift, a pink doll landed in front of her with dull black eyes. "...What is it?"
A luckydo...
"...Wow. It's pretty."
No Derpy...
...It's beautiful...
A loud bang echoed across the dimly lit stage and a bright light overcame everything. From off to the side, Princess Cadance walked in with two pegasi guards close behind her and a brown stallion narrowing behind them. "Hi--"
"That's the one!" Cadance snapped as she pointed a hoof in Derpy's direction. "She's the one who stole my luckydo!"
The two guards quickly went up to Derpy and looked down at her harshly. "Stealing from a princess? You're doing hard time for this..."
"B-B-But--"
"What did you do to my TARDIS?!" the brown stallion bolted out from behind the group and went to the beaten down box.
"I didn't do anything! I swear!"
Then why's your name on it...?
"I--"
"Vandalizing and robbery? You're going down for this one..." The two guards closed in around Derpy and began to drag her off. "We've also been informed you've been teaching picklenese to insight a rebellion... You'll be brought to court for these crimes. May Celestia have mercy on your soul..." The large group filed out, dragging a confused Derpy out by her wings.
...I WIN!
I FINALLY BEAT HER!
All it took was making a fake police box...
...Paying off Vinyl...
...Filling that luckydo with spatial enchantments so Cadance would think it was actually lucky...
...Two flight tickets--
Will you just let me have this you killbuzz?!
Way to go Cap'n!
Best Chapter Ever.
framing derpy? for shame...
But Doctor! I thought you and Derpy were friends...
1441447
Go ask Discord Whooves ANYTHING about her.
Go on, I dare ya. He will SNAP.
Well, Overlord, you live. For now.
You only sent her to jail, and, knowing her, she'll burn half the place down and murder all the guards by the time she's done.
Not intentionally, of course, but you know.
She's Derpy.
....so much fucking win
sorry derpy
How could any brony in their right mind do that to Derpy?
1441549 Knowing Derpy, she'll reform all of the prisoners by making them all muffins.
1441549 I don't like Derpy...
Framing Derpy...
Low brow, bro. Low brow...
Derpy, no!
GENIUS
Too much madness to go around. So little time to break their minds.
Discorded Whooves strikes again!
and now we celebrate!
To the ricicle stand!
No, Derpy, no! You bastard!
There is going to be so much mixed response to this...
Prepare for hate!
And prepare for love.
I knew it! Vinyl was in on the whole scheme....only a pony who was paid off could keep up that much gibberish for that long! Well played Discord....well played....
My God Discord... what have you done!!!!
You just made an enemy out of the most genius mare in all of Equestria!
She's already convinced everyone that she's a few apples short of a basket. Worst case is she'll be sent to the loony bin by clamming she has a mentally illness, and then all she has to do convince the doctors that she's fine to get out and somehow avoid being sent to jail.
... She'll be baking you into muffins in no time.
All joking aside, awesome chapter, though seeing that would be pretty funny.
Well, that was interesting. Discord is once again the number one troll, and Derpy is off to be execu... I mean have a fair trial.
The best weapon for battle is a prepared mind.
- Zhuge Liang
I'm so confused. I hate what you did to Derpy, but love the way you did it. Some how you got all my loveAND hate
Discord... too far man.
Also, I had to reread "...Filling that luckydo with spacial enchantments so Cadance would think it was actually lucky..." like eight times before I realized you just misspelled "special" since "spacial" is an actual word that could apply in that context. I was just sitting there going thinking "so wait, Discord enchanted the doll so that it bends space in some way? And this somehow made Cadance think it was lucky?"
Also, the hell is a luckydo anyway?
1442503 No... It was meant to be spacial. The enchantments are meant to effect a spacial area.
Damn, he finally won lol
Well that was brilliant.
The doctors not dumb, he'll find out and when he does. There will be hell to pay.
I can't wait!
I knew that luckydo was evil!
How did they break the TARDIS? Not even a small platoon of Daleks can get past the shield. The assembled armies of Khan tried to get through the doors and failed.it says "making a fake police box"
dear sweet celestia that was awesome
This was totally worth the build up. Kudos to you.
1441578
unwatched
downvoted all stories
spammed with hatemail
blocked
1443196 Oh well.
1441578 Heresy!!!! Burn him!!!
filipinofreethinkers.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Religion-Overthrowing-Heresy-And-Hatred.jpg
The power of Derpy compels you!
1443226
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
1443230>>1443231 I just don't see the appeal...
wait, what were the plane tickets for?
1443274 Fleeing Equestria before they are arrested obviously.
1443240
the reason we are all angry at you for doing that to durpy is because you may not like her but we all do because she is sweet and innocent and doesnt understand
This may not work well in the end...
I have the unshakable feeling that Derpy is likely to befriend a powerful crime lord in prison who has connections to the outside...
They framed Derpy. For this, there can be only one punishment. *draws a katana*
1442701 If you meant pertaining to a certain space, it's spelled Spatial then, with a 't'. Just fyi.
...And I've been playing with you for two too long...
I think you want to get rid of that word.
...Filling that luckydo with spacial enchantments so Cadance would think it was actually lucky...
I think you meant special.
Yes, I do have a chip on my shoulder ... and a bit of fish too. Great chapter, but now I feel as bad for Derpy as I did for Fluttershy.
1443742 That's an inturpritation of a character with no defined characteristics...
1444442 "two too long": He's battled with her twice. He's saying that he should've just destroyed her from the start.
Why Doctor, why did you betray your closet friend?!
1441578 I shall be your colleague in the fight against Derpy.
1441578
Me neither mate, me neither...
Oh damn! That's a mean ending there! I like it.
Had to cheat to beat her. Pity.