Know your Mare

by overlord-flinx

Princess Celestia

Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare…

Regally the pure white mare stood with her rainbow-hue mane drifting along her back as she formed a smile at the start of the words.

Princess Celestia…

…She's old…

"Well, that goes without saying."

…and it shows…

"Are you implying I look elderly? I assure you I most certainly don't… I at least think not."

Princess Celestia…

…she wears a wig…

"That's most certainly untrue; I'd like you to know. My sister and I both are gifted with magnificent manes. Please keep your statements to facts."

Princess Celestia…

…she lowers the sun when she doesn't want to work…

"I can't say I've ever done that… more then once, heh heh."

Princess Celestia…

…has a Royal Nose picker…

"Why would I have one of—Wait a moment… No, no. It's still untrue."

Princess Celestia…

…banished her parents but keeps her title because it makes her sound younger…

"Banishing people without warrant? Family no less? Sir, I won't stand for you smearing anymore lies on my good name."

Now you know…

Princess Celestia…

"They certainly don't. You realize I'm the princess, right? I will not standby and let you continue these lying acts," with a flex of her wings, Princess Celestia stormed off out of the light in the room.

Comments

[Polly]

wow that's an old fucking reference

[overlord-flinx]

470913 An oldy... but a goody

[SergeantShenanigans]

Nice to see this story transferred to this site, it's funny, right when I signed in I saw it.

[rasta-gringo]

i love this so much

[overlord-flinx]

470998 Taz? When did you get here? Small world... Well, since you're here, you can enjoy all my pieces here too

[Relevant Heavy Metal]

Ugly Truth - Soundgarden

[Ponyman]

That's so 90s

[TwinkieSpy]

Oh my God, I totally forgot about those commercials. I can hear the voice now...

[abandoned2123]

Oh wow... now this.
This was nostalgia incarnate.
Thanks for that.

[overlord-flinx]

471468 You know... funny you ask. My assistent told me a while back that I should've put up a number... Guess I never got around to it lol

[Pinkamena777]

471509 XD o'k poor trixie

twilight: TRIXE!!! GET OFF MY LAWN NOW!!!

[Pinkamena777]

oh jeez those chapters where funny but what about princess luna,pinkie pie and lil miss perfect rarity

[overlord-flinx]

471539 Oh I COULD just give you the chapters... but I'm just spoon feeding you them one after the other

[Pinkamena777]

471552 ok u do that and there will be alot to insult about rarity XD

[darkironpony]

[Reads chapter] [dies from laughter.]

[Pinkamena777]

471552 another thing real quick um if trixie is in the whole insult the mare series why is't her picture on the cover?

[Pinkamena777]

471588 what?

[overlord-flinx]

471571 Well, because I'm horrible at photoshop effects and I couldn't think of how to fit everyone in. The picture is to convay that everypony hates this story because it pokes fun at them.

[SergeantShenanigans]

471315
I think about 7 weeks ago... and I already have your other pieces on my read-it-later list, I will get around to them sooner or later, probably sooner.

[MrPikmario]

TO THE MOON YOU GO!

[Pinkamena777]

471646 ahhhh tooo much words

[overlord-flinx]

471941 I'm a writer, not a master of photography

[Pinkamena777]

471995 oh

[LooneyToon1990]

Anyone else think that the Know Your Stars Guy is really Discord's ghost? He certainly trolls them enough!

[Clockwise Gear]

471325
Accurate username is accurate.

[Antor]

ooh I sense the next show will be made from THE MOOOOOON

[Bookworm24]

I KNEW IT!!!!!

[BarrenBaron]

i used to love these clips

[SuperPinkBrony12]

That does it (cocks shotgun) you are dead!

[Enmar]

the anonymous voice!
now broadcasting from the moon!

[Two-HeadedSnake]

Oh shit you done did know

[iloveportalz0r]

471325 Nice username dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
[youtube=9N3wkru_wd4]

[Lord Discord]

473187 If I didn't know any better, I would say that the Disembodied voice is Discord himself, out for a little payback for being petrified.....twice.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/202/680/discordapproves.png

Like this so far....except for making fun of Fluttershy that is.

[DONTFOLLOWME]

That narrator is going to the moon.

[Hurgusburgus]

Poor Celestia. I feel bad for her.

[The Princess Rarity]

Poor narrator. He's on the moon now.

[Stiggerzz]

you just....insulted a princess.....who has the power to banish one to the moon
gifsoup.com/view5/2142172/multiple-facepalm-o.gif

[Codyray1]

1962526 'Eeeeeey, he can get away with it. You'll find out why later if you haven't finished it yet.

[shadowblitz13]

1962526(magic not functional dune to tactical genius)

[Dragaen]

one word Discord... RUN!?!

[Levana]

Tactical Thermonuclear Facepalm Prepared. Scratch that, we don't need it.

[mgstx2000]

[Sky Blue CMC]

Regally the pure white mare stood with her rainbow-hue mane drifting along her back as she formed a smile at the start of the words.

Mother Superior: How many sentences begin with "Regally"

Lisa: This one?

[My Sister Tia]

1831451
But what about the sun? She just did the moon on her sister because Luna likes the moon.

[RT Garbage Esq]

…banished her parents but keeps her title because it makes her sound younger…

I kind of always understood "Princess" to mean the female equivalent of "Sovereign Prince" as in a Prince who is a head of state and not just the child of a monarch (like the Prince of Liechtenstein), but that works too!