Know your Mare

by overlord-flinx

Derpy

Know your mare, know your… Uh…

For the first time the light in the center of the darkness was empty, not a soul in sight.

…Hello?

…Are you here?

“Yes.”

…Well where are you?

“In the room.”

…Well get in the light…

“…What light?”

The one in the center of the room…

“Oh! Okay!” with an echoing trot through the darkness gradually getting closer. Shortly after, the gray coat of a lop-eyed mare came into the light with a powerful grin.

Right…

Derpy…

…She’s…

…Leaving the light…?

Back in the spotlight, Derpy continued to step onward towards the opposite end she entered from.

Stop…!

“Well I can’t find the center of the room. Only this part of the room is lit so it’s hard to find it, you know?”

Look…

…Just stand there…

Right where you are…

“Okay!”

Alright…

Derpy…

…has a—

…muffin with her…?

Seemingly from nowhere, the pegasus was munching on a crisp muffin resting on the floor before her.

Stop eating…

“Mhi?” she asked with bits of muffin spreading out as she spoke.

You’re just supposed to answer me when I speak…

…not eat…

With a loud gulp Derpy pushed the muffin away and smiled once more. “Okay.”

Good…

Derpy…

…has—

…trapped herself in a paper bag…

With grunts from in the light, Derpy had inexplicably got her entire head wedged into a paper bag and was now squirming on the floor in an attempt to get free.

…How did you even do that?

“I had to put the muffin somewhere, didn’t I?”

Yes…

…but…

…You know what…?

…there’s nothing I can say that could possibly be worse then what you could do to yourself…

Sitting up with the bag still draped over her head, she nodded with a crinkle. “I get that a lot.”

Anyway…

I guess know you know…

Derpy…

…You need any help with that bag…?

“Nope, I got it.” Derpy reassured the voice as her front hooves flailed at an attempt to pluck the bag off.

…I’m just gonna go…

Once the voice had gone silent, Derpy finally let the bag fall off of her head and fell back onto her flank. “Yeah! I did it!” seeing the room once more, she looked around the room curiously. “Where did my muffin go…? Oh yeah! The bag.” Derpy opened the bag once more and dipped her head in to reclaim her muffin… only to get wedge in there once more with a satisfied nibble to her muffin.

Comments

[Silent Breeze]

Derpy's too pro, man.

[Shadowed Rainbow]

Seems like the voice was at a loss ofr Derpy - she's worthy of being added to the Master of Outsmarting the Voice list!

[Herpidty Derp]

About time!

[Broneyofnoel]

Wher the buck is Sweetie belle

[overlord-flinx]

636036 She's next. I thought it would be too stale to let her go in a group of Crusaders, so I put Derpy in as a fair bit of buffer.

[Broneyofnoel]

636062

[shirotora]

the voice just got Derped

[overlord-flinx]

636122 I don't portray Celestia that way.

[Lickity_Split]

omg this one once simply brilliant, most definitely your best one so far (although i feel i have sad this already)(but thats besides the point) this was amazing, i was laughing the whole time i was reading this, Derpy is just an amazing pony

and if you dont mind suggestions, i think you should do Spitfire or Soarin at some point

[henke37]

Mr Slanderous voice has found the noop case.

[SergeantShenanigans]

Man, I haven't commented on these for a while, guess all there is to say on them though is that they are hilarious as always, I don't have much else to say.

[AccountDeleted]

Well, yeah... there's Derpy

[Bookworm24]

go Derpy. go Derpy. go Derpy!!!!

[Apocalypse Pony]

Derpy gonna derp

[Neuex]

DERPY!!!!

[Joel]

i1268.photobucket.com/albums/jj580/charlieg1999/ChickenDerpy.gif

[Pinkamena777]

[Niklashg]

Derpy 4 Disembodied voice aganst derpy 0! We got a winner!

[SuperChaosKG]

She's Derpa-Derpa-Derpalicious

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Way to go Derpy you show all those soccer moms (the ones who complained about you being offensive) who's boss!

[Octavio the Umbreon]

Pinkie, Cadence, and Derpy has you man.

The ponies will prevail

[Lloxie]

Gotta love that Derpy! >w<

[infinite scratch]

Derpy is just adorable....aderpable

[iloveportalz0r]

dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png

[p0nypanda]

I laughed so hard I couldn't breath.

[Tofuboy]

I guess know you know…
I'm thinking the first know should be now

[Sandalwood]

she planned it all out, she wanted to beat the voice and she did.

[PieisGood4U]

Derpy/Ditzy is just awesome.

[Enmar]

[Chaotic Note]

Re-reading first round after the second round of Derpy.

[EveryponySmile]

[FireSPARK3]

Meh.

[Northernbolt]

*derpy pulls out muffin*
ts4.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4735073316897047&id=0955221c9341ceb302f964b275994140

[Bloodcurdling Scream]

That was hilarious

[tongen]

636030 master of out-derping the voice

[Colt in the Moon]

That's our Derpy!

[The Princess Rarity]

Derpy is boss.
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw611_130420888761.png

[Stiggerzz]

oh derps.....this is why we love you

[pinkiedash27]

Only is dumb enough to outsmart mysterious voice.

[General Derpy]

And that's why I love Derpy!

[MariusIoannesP]

Derpy just pwned the Voice! Most Awesome Pony!

[catluvr2]

Okay, scratch what I said about being pink. You either have to be pink OR best pony.

[shadowblitz13]

derpy outsmarted a...uh...something...traveling with a timelord seems have that effect

[Dragaen]

buns that defy all logic. That's Derpy Hooves for ya.

[Animegx43]

Who else but Derpy?

[DarkStarWolf53]

That has to be kind of embarrassing for the disembodied voice-now 3 ponies have out-tricked him!

[VariusMayhem]

I guess know you know…

One k too much

[Toaster]

2835071 And only one even tried!

[Kupe Akemi Navigator]

No poney trolls Derpy. Derpy trolls you.

[Zipplip]

2932568 Sounds like you did a Soviet Russia Joke