• Published 19th Apr 2012
  • 36,165 Views, 9,289 Comments

Know your Mare - overlord-flinx



It's silly, it's pointless, and it makes little to no sense... I've heard of worse story ideas.

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Special: "Them"

You could have realistically asked anyone to take our place...

...And you asked them...?

You're forgetting something real important mum...

What's that...?

Faith...

...Have a little faith...

War crushed all of my faith...

What war were you ever a part of...?

The war on Canterlot...!

Queeny please...

...That wasn't a war...

...That was a flank-whooping...

We were winning...!

Yeah...

...and apples grow on trees...

...But--

Give him time...


--So this piece of lettuce walks into a bar...

...And the bar tender asks "What will you have"...

...And the lettuce says 'the salad'...!

Wait...

...No...

...Let me start over...

...Do you mind...?

Please...!

Go right ahead...!

A stallion is building his dream house in town. However, this isn't the first time he has tried. Several times before, and every time something horrible happens in connection with the lighting. But, he feels this time will be different. This time, he asks all the electricians he can find about how to run his wiring right. The ideas were all different, but one thing was the same in all the explanations; "remember to pull this cord". Simple.

So he builds his house, rooms and all. All that's left is for him to do the wiring. He grabs the long piece of lining he set aside and pulls it. His whole house explodes. Hours of work, gone. But, he doesn't let it get him down. Instead, he starts again; but this time he has some other ponies help him. The work gets done in half the time and the house looks better than before. The stallion takes the brown lining again and tugs it.

This time, the house not only explodes, but all the others that helped him are turned into rabbits. Around this time, he starts getting angry, but he tries again. He contracts an entire team of the best workers he can find to build his house, staying out of the way so as not to cause anything to trigger like before. In only an hour or two, the house is made and it's beyond perfect. The whole nine-miles. Now this time he learned from his mistake and handed the brown lining to another pony, telling them to pull it instead.

When that pony did the house exploded, every pony except the first stallion turned into a rabbit, and the construction equipment danced away. Having enough, the stallion took hold of the lining again and yanked on it. He yanked and yanked until finally he was turned into a sloth. Laying on the ground, he sighed: "Maybe I wasn't pulling DISCORD right."

...Hah...


...WAIT A SECOND!

There we go...

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