Having spent nearly a year in Celestia's court and by her side, the first and only human in Equestria is in rapidly deteriorating health. And despite all of her power, Celestia finds herself unable to help him.

(Written for the Most Dangerous Game contest, and in far less time than I would have liked. AU tag because for purposes of this story I'm ignoring the mirror world where Equestria Girls took place—this Equestria has no knowledge of humans in any way.)

The nobles of Canterlot are up to their old schemes again. Trying desperately to elevate themselves from mere nobles to that of royalty, the high council begins to pressure both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna into marriage. There is only one problem the two sisters face. As the law of old states, only a pony of nobility or foreign dignitary may be eligible to wed either of the princesses. The two sisters must now find a suitable candidate willing to adhere to the balance of power they had so desperately fought to maintain, or lose their right to rule.
Luckily, there seems to be a certain somebody that meets the strict criteria and who would also not abuse his position as royal consort to the Moon and Sun. Now, if only there was a way to convince him.

((I know I am terrible at writing synopsis, but please don't let that dissuade you from giving my story a chance. Rated T for light cussing, teasing, flirtatious mares, and provocative situations. May change later on depending on how I feel and the input from the readers.))

Update: I finally got a beautiful cover art for the story! It looks so freaking amazing and I am super happy with how it turned out. The artist is super talented and you should all go view her stuff and maybe even commission something from her! I literally can't justify how amazing this picture is!
Artist: Cotton
Thank you all so much for your feedback and support! Because of you all I was featured! *happy pony noises*
Featured
1/20/17
2/02/17
12/05/17

Anon likes his life to be simple. He wakes up, goes to work and sometimes gets himself a good book to read while he is home. It's a routine that he likes to follow, it makes him feel like he has a bit of normality with his life in Equestria. The fact that having Celestia come crashing into his home as part of his routine should prove that his life is anything but normal.

(Thanks to PeerImagination for editing!)

Celestia, the ever regal and gentle princess...

Celestia, who along her sister, rules over the land for eons...

Celestia, holder of unlimited knowledge and the power over the sun itself...

Is still a mare. And a very lonely mare.

She always wanted a foal to call her son, but she was a princess. Something desirable by many, approachable by none.
So what happens when Celestia finds a young colt?

Why she will adopt him of course. And she will love him forever.

Despite his cursing, senseless mumbling and apparent delirious mind.
Yes, she will love him, even if appearances can be deceiving...

Adam, the ever lazy and impulsive teen...

Adam, who wants nothing more than some peace and quiet, even if he's doing jack-shit to achieve anything...

Adam, holder of limited knowledge and power over his own laptop...

Is a pony. Or a colt, more precisely.

He was not always like that, though it doesn't change the fact that he is now. So, what will our human do in a foreign world, trapped in a foreign body?

Why he gets adopted of course.

And despite his cursing, senseless mumbling and apparent childish mind.
His adoptive 'Mother' will love him.

And why does her sister looks at him that way?

On a dark night filled with even darker magics, an insane cult attempts to give Nightmare Moon a body and life of her own, utterly separate from Princess Luna. But, when the spell is interrupted by Celestia, something unexpected is created.

Now, a little black alicorn filly named Nyx finds herself living under the care of Twilight Sparkle, only to be haunted by memories and emotions from her past. Is she Nightmare Moon reborn or is she simply a doppelganger with a soul and mind of her own? Can Twilight Sparkle protect Nyx from those who refuse to see past her dragon eyes and black coat?

Or, will Nyx be forced to inherit the sins that may not even be hers and become the greatest evil Equestria has ever known?

A military college student named Johnson is thrown into Equestria during a routine training operation. He is a dedicated Brony, but must decide how to live in a world of peace and friendship when he is in training to be a solider.

Will he run to the town we all know who lives in.

Or run to the Princess to gain diplomatic immunity

or will he become a hero to stop an ancient evil that has returned to complete its unholy task.

Kuno, a young changeling, is left weak, bloodied, and bruised after the events of the Canterlot wedding. She is soon discovered by Warden, a Royal Guard. But for some reason, Warden shows her mercy. Instead of taking her into the custody of the Royal Guard, he becomes both her captor and her savior. But over time, Kuno will come to ask herself the hardest question she has ever pondered: Can a changeling feel love?

Dan, a young high school musician, is angry at a recent turn of events that has made him resent everybody around him. However, he is contacted by Celestia and offered to be transported to Equestria to blow off some steam and relax. But Dan can't help but wonder if there's a real reason behind her offer.

Rainbow Dash, the Ponyville weather team captain, is known throughout the town as the stubborn tom-colt who has rejected every stallion who has come calling. But what happens when the human-turned-stallion comes to town and steals her heart?

Have you ever woken up as a vegetarian cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I can’t seem to do anything right, and it’s even worse when she’s in charge.

Now, we’re in a back and forth war for control of her body. I just want to eat meat again, and have a little personal space. She’s convinced I’m hitting on her friends and trying to score. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix this.

Edits by: Selbi, Abcron, Breath of Plagues, Refro, Jaestring, The Parasprite, Starbound Gurren
Pre-read by: SkeeterTL, Solidfire, Penjacker, TypewriterError, Pearple Prose
(It took all of them to corral my insanity.)
Cover art by Tsitra360
V1.1-Rated teen sex for strong innuendo.
V1.2-Pinkie Pie now enforcing RIAA guidelines.

This story is a sequel to Dash of Humanity

I'm stuck in Equestria, which reminds me of the dark ages. Instead of internet and fast-food, I have Rainbow Dash. She's been asked to help me learn to fit in... I'd like a refund.

I suppose we got off to a good start, aside from being told that after all I'd done I'd never see Earth again. So long as I can look on the bright side of life, and not get arrested for running pranks on everypony with Dash, I might just survive long enough to find my purpose in Equestria. So help me, however, if I get any vegetable related cutie marks I will choke a Princess.

Cover Art by JinZahn
Sequel to Dash of Humanity
Edited by: Selbi, Abcron, Cassius Litner, Seven Fates,
Refro, BronyWriter