Bloody murder(edited)
Adam laid in his bed like he usually did on such boring days. He did not have anything of importance to motivate him into doing something productive, so he chose to take a little afternoon nap whilst singing to himself his favourite song.
"Today I don't feel like doing anything,
I just wanna lay in my bed.
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone,
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything."
Yes, just another day for his 'days collection'. There was nothing worth mentioning or anything out of the ordinary for Adam. He was the kind of person to let things fall into place without intervention. Unlike other people, Adam knew his limitations, and only rarely pushed himself to do something, and even then only for the bare minimum.
A knock on the door caused Adam to glare at it while ending his song prematurely.
"Come in," he sighed.
The door opened and in came his father.
"The sink is full, clean the dishes."
"Nice to see you too, dad."
"Adam, just clean the damn dishes already and open your books. You have a math test tomorrow and you did nothing at all."
"You know, most parents greet their children when they come back home from work. It is very rude."
Adam's father grunted in annoyance and hardened his gaze on Adam. His father was quite the tall person, with a dark complexion and black hair with a few grey and white hairs. He wasn't originally from Britain, which explained why Adam got the looks from his father, but still had his mother’s accent.
"I don't have time for another fight, Adam. Just do what you are told."
"Fine!" Adam rumbled and rose from his bed. He moved quickly and sharply, wanting to keep further interactions with his dad to a minimum. He passed the living area on the way to the kitchen and saw his sister playing Minecraft on her smartphone.
'That little asshole walked all the way to my room just to tell me to do the dishes whilst my sister is right here? Cunt!'
Adam was even more furious with his dad now, but chose to simply do what he told him to and then go back to his room.
"Puca, Puca, c'mere girl!"
Puca appeared shortly after Adam had called her and waggled her tail in excitement to spend some time with her favourite family member. She was a light brown husky with two light grey piercing eyes.
"Come Puca, you're gonna accompany me whilst washing the dishes," Adam said in fake enthusiasm, though Puca didn't care as she jumped up and down, circling Adam and licking his hands excitedly. "You're the only bitch in this family I actually care about."
"Fuck you, Adam."
"Shut up, Evie. Wasn't talking to you," Adam called from the kitchen whilst Puca was still all around him.
Evie was Adam's little sister by three years, making her fourteen, give or take. Unlike Adam or their father, Evie was more of a proper Brit, with a lean body, pale skin, light blue eyes and light brown hair.
She got her looks solely from her mother, who was born and raised in Norwich and only later moved with her husband to London to raise Adam and Evie.
Adam ignored his sister and smiled fondly at Puca and searched the cabinets for a dog snack. Unfortunately, it was out of date, so Adam decided that once he's done with the dishes, he would go out with Puca for a walk and make her a homemade snack just for her when the two return.
But as he neared the sink, something felt weird. Not weird as in 'Eww, dirty dishes' but more of a 'There's something protruding my forehead' kind of feeling.
Adam slowly lifted his hand and massaged his forehead. He felt something long and cylindrical in the base of his forehead. It ended with a dull edge and felt quite sensitive.
"Why do I have a dick growing from my forehead?"
"Because your body is starting to catch up with your personality."
"Shut up Evie! Honest to god you are annoying."
"Yeah but you like it."
"I honestly don't, mom and dad should've stopped after me."
"After they saw how you turned out to be?."
"Just… screw you, Evie. Screw you, you tart!"
Before Evie could argue, Adam already left. He was headed for the bathroom, all whilst still rubbing the foreign appendage. He entered the bathroom and looked into the mirror. Everything about him was normal. His mocha skin was rough from all those workouts and his black hair was curly but not overly so. Overall, he was the picture of health…
Except for a freaking horn in the middle of his forehead.
Adam felt a surge of panic build inside of him as he was about to touch the horn again. Only when he did so, his arm was turned into a furry hoof with a flat end.
Adam wanted to scream but found his voice amiss. He tried to step out from the bathroom but his legs were glued to the place. All he had to do was watch as the world was literally breaking apart through the mirror reflection until he himself fell into darkness.
Adam jumped off the bed in quite an abrupt manner. His scanned his surroundings. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, he scanned himself. Luckily, or unluckily, he was still a pony.
"Fucking… dreams… man…" he huffed as cold sweat dribbled down his face. These dreams have become more and more frequent as of late. Quite ironic really, considering what his dreams are about compared to the reality he's in.
Adam decided that a nice, hot bath might just be the thing he needed and moved into the bathroom. Once inside, Adam stepped into the stupidly large bath tub and turned the hot water knob with mild difficulty. He also added a particular scented body wash that smelled like pine tree. The hot water soon filled the tub as Adam could feel the water work their way in soothing his muscles.
In his opinion, baths were the perfect place for thinking as it allowed him some precious time alone.
"I could just tell them the whole truth," he said absent-mindedly. "But how many humans can say they traveled into a parallel reality filled with magic, rainbows and unicorns. I guess less than ten…"
Adam has had this particular internal conversation with himself for a few days now. Part of him wanted to tell the princesses of his predicament and hope that they will believe him and send him back home. But another, larger part of his mind, the logical one, believed that being the colt that he is, his words aren't worth that much.
Adam thought back to Celestia and felt it again.
The need to be near her, to let her hold him and gently whisper into his ear that everything will be fine. It was the colt part of his mind, the new addition he got when he transformed into a pony. He was very much aware of that part of him. He wasn't stupid, though the thought of being so needy made him slightly vomit in his mouth.
Adam was independent for the most part of his childhood. The only real time his parents were there was to buy him food and housing him. Other than that, he did most things on his own. Like buying clothes or studying alone (poorly), and even making his own meals.
But Adam did not hate his parents. Sure, he barely knew his mom and his dad was an alcoholic bastard, but he generally sort of liked them…
Adam was even willing to go and say that he loved them, his dad more than his mom. True, the only way his dad would show him affection is by purposely missing when he threw bottles at his head, but that was simply the reality Adam lived, and he was accustomed to that.
Other than that, Adam was pretty content with staying here. It was refreshing to feel loved rather than a burden.
And besides, it was a second chance, or so Adam wanted to believe. To be reborn as a unicorn colt in a land such as this is a chance in a lifetime. Furthermore, he always wondered how it would feel to be a kid again with the knowledge of an adult. Admittedly, he did not want to start out as a colt but beggars can't be choosers, right? It's not like his former life was any better. He was stuck with a seemingly uncaring family with no future ahead of him, no real friends to speak of and no social life. As far as Adam was concerned, this world was superior.
"Besides," Adam thought out loud. "Living in a castle is so much better than a crappy apartment. Technology is something of an issue," he pondered, and then, his eyes suddenly widened "Maybe I can 'invent'! I'll recreate human technologies in this sodding planet and claim them as my own! Oh Adam, you sly, handsome devil you…"
Adam smiled wickedly as another plan formed in his mind. "Or maybe, I could 'invent' weaponry. Start a new arms race and get totally rich… Hmmm, maybe not. Apparently I'm too young to have access to such materials, but maybe in the future."
Adam felt pretty good with himself now. Amusing himself with different possibilities proved to be quite entertaining.
Finally, Adam finished his bath and dried himself off, smelling like a forest after the morning dew. He moved to the sink and jumped on the stool with less difficulty and peered at the mirror. On the other side was a colt with a light brown pelt and curly black mane, his olive green and slightly honeyed eyes sparkled with energy only kids can possess. After a few moments of staring, Adam reached a conclusion.
"This ain't so bad…"
Adam approached the dining hall feeling like a million pound sterling, he had time to accept his fate, albeit a bit brief, and found it not so scary. Besides the obvious disadvantage of having no fingers, it was quite pleasant here.
"Good morning good chaps," greeted Adam. He had a tendency to slip deeper into stereotypical accent when he was feeling like cheerful, and the lack of a certain pony prince was certainly a plus.
Celestia smiled broadly. Seeing as how Adam carried himself with such joy made her more at ease. 'perhaps today he will not-'
"I'm freaking starving!"
'Well, at least it wasn't as ill-mannered as the rest of his vocabulary.'
"Good morning to you as well, Adam. How was your sleep?" Celestia inquired.
Adam took his time hopping into the chair next to Celestia whilst avoiding eye contact. Something wasn't right. Normally he would say something by now, all he had was a look of nervousness and debate on his face, as if he was contemplating telling her something. Finally, Adam smiled weakly and looked away. "Sure, just some… unsettling dreams, that's all."
"I could help you with that," offered Luna, who sat to Celestia's other side. Adam cocked his head to the side at that.
"What, like talking my problems away and giving me sleeping pills?"
"What! N-no! I meant dream walking."
"Ohhhhhh… still not following you."
Luna closed her eyes and sighed. She opened them again and looked at Adam. "I meant entering your dreams and trying to figure what is causing you discomfort," Luna explained.
Adam looked horrified for a few seconds before adoptive a more collected look. "That sounds to me like a complete breach of privacy. Don't get me wrong Luna, but I don't like the idea of someone else snooping around there, no offence."
"None taken. And I understand your need for privacy. I simply thought that as the ruler of the night I could perhaps offer you a way of relieving yourself."
Adam had to keep himself from laughing. 'That sounded so very wrong…' he snickered silently. Luckily, food arrived before Celestia could ask about Adam's odd behaviour.
As for Adam, he was practically blown away by the food itself. Mashed potatoes, beans, fried veggies and gravy. His favourite breakfast.
Adam watched in awe as his plate hovered above the dining table, encased in a familiar golden aura. No matter how many times he saw it, magic was still an amazing sight. He turned his attention to Celestia, who smiled at him gently. "You do not mind me helping, do you?"
Adam looked thoughtful for a moment. He wanted to serve himself for once, but it'll be much faster to let Celestia do it. Finally, his stomach spoke up for him, making Adam to blush and the princesses to giggle.
"Sure, why not," he said in defeat. 'You may have won this battle, belly. But I will be the victor next time!'
Celestia looked at Adam nervously, worried that she might agitate the unpredictable colt. Luckily enough, his hunger overcame his pride and he let her help him.
It wasn't long before Adam got his plate back, full with some of his favourite food. Celestia had her own plate filled as well, as well as a goblet of wine. Adam looked expectedly at the fork to his left, determined to grasp it. Over the past few days he practiced with his hooves on how to grasp things. He still didn't know exactly how it is possible, but he didn't question it.
He carefully reached for the fork with both of his hooves and lifted it very slowly. Once the fork was secured between the flat sides of his hooves he carefully manipulated it in a way that it laid horizontally on his right hoof. Adam concentrated deeply until he felt a 'tug' on the fork. He then slowly turned his hoof sideways, praying to Morgan Freeman.
Adam heaved a sigh of relief when the fork didn't fall.
"Thank you Morgan Freeman."
"What was that, Adam?" asked Luna.
"Nothing, nothing… Let's eat!"
Adam plunged into his meal without a second thought, eager to eat his favourite breakfast. He was a bit disappointed over the lack of meat, AKA back bacon or sausages, but it was a good breakfast nonetheless.
About halfway through breakfast something weird caught Adam's attention. It the middle of the table, he saw the salt and pepper grinders moving and circling each other to the sounds of classical music.
"What's going on?" Adam asked warily. He looked at both princesses, which looked more annoyed than surprise, something that confused Adam.
"Not him again," moaned Luna. She rubbed the side of her head with a hoof and let out a sigh of frustration escape her mouth. Celestia wasn't looking any different.
The two grinders hovered into the air and started pouring their contents all over the table. But instead of salt and pepper as Adam expected, the grinders spewed bits of apples and chili sauce.
A creature Adam never saw in his life popped into existence and hovered below the constant stream of chili and apples as he opened his mouth absurdly wide, the foul mixture disappearing into his maw.
"Discord, why are you here?" asked Celestia with irritation. Even after his reformation, Discord was still a pain in the flank. At least he wasn't doing anything too chaotic.
"Oh Celestia, you must learn how to relax and enjoy the small things in life…" He then turned his head towards Adam. "But I see you already have."
"Discord… why does that sound so familiar…" Adam murmured as he closed his eyes in concentration.
"Adam? Is everything alright?" asked Celestia, looking worried at how deeply Adam was thinking, but he wasn't listening.
"Discord… Discord… Discord… Dis-cord… Dis-cord…" Adam's eyes shot open "D-CORD!" he yelled.
Discord chuckled and appeared right across the dining table with sunglasses and leather jacket. "Only my friends in the hood call me D-cord, bro…"
Adam felt furious. His breathing became erratic and his eyes shone with malice that screamed bloody murder. He felt a tingling sensation above his forehead but he did not care at that time.
Celestia on the other hand, saw Adam's horn flare with green magic.
As with every sharp object in the room!
Even Discord looked with wide eyes and mouth open when every fork and knife pointed at him.
"So it was you…" Adam growled in a dangerously low voice "I'll... I'll… I'LL BLOODY MURDER YOU!"
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Something tells me Adam won't succeed, Celestia will get mad at him and won't believe his story. Sorry I'm just expecting that.
wow too edgy for me
I laughed so hard at the end... that it scared everone around me. Good Show!
I SO want to see how Adam will deal with Discord. BTW, even though I like Martin Freeman, I didn't understand the reference. Can somebody tell me what Adam was talking about in the fork scene?
Let's hope Discord can dodge as well as he talks!
lol nope
This story smells of win...
Edit: 4923421 MORGAN Freeman. Not Martin. And he was God in Bruce Almighty.
Only typo I found. Very nice chapter, can't wait for more!
Fuck the damn typos!!!! I just want to see what happens next!!! WHY THE CLIFFHANGER!!!!?? ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? !??!?!?!?1?!?!?!?@ ?@??!@?$@#T@#$T@#4g34gbqwg5 80934 5hygwergf$RG$@5G
@$%Gw45g45ggwot gw4tgh w4[htgwowh45gw 4
5gw45gw45gW$%GW$GW($T%UBJW 5
4923405 I'm expecting that too. Or Discord will tell the truth and they won't believe him.
4923405 that would happen in every story
how else would discord get out of the situation
Typos less noticeable so keep going. Just gettin' good
Well…things got real…also, green magic?…is he a green lantern? that will be so cool
4923488 MADGOD AGREES! THE DAEDRAS DEMAND MORE MORE MORE!!!!!
One does not simply avoid Englishmen rath
4923515 The color of magic in the show sometimes relates with the eye color of the pony. It's not consistent but that's my theory
feel the dark side of the force let your emotions take over
What's he going to do? Bang and mash Discord? Chip him slightly?
As if you can't tell I don't have Lofty hopes for this fight, but I hope you can torch my expectations and lift this story from good to great next chapter.
4923536
For some reason some people say green is use for evil particularly for what happen to the changelings, and Rarity, so maybe someone will ask if he is a changeling as well
But anyway hurray Discord will fix this mess…for more ironic that sound because so much rage that he awake his rage, kind of will raise some red flags with Celestia and Luna, specially if they take the wrong idea and think Discord did it, because it will make sense consider how twisted he is.
Oh boy Discord better tell the true before Celestia test if he really is indestructible
4918173 Your grammar was pretty bad BUT THAT ASTRAL BODY IDEA IS GENIUS! If I ever write a human turned pony fic, I will include that. Of course I probably won't write one. I don't really like HiE stories.
im gonna love watching discord get beaten up by a child.
i'm really liking this story
stay classy
4923590
Thanks its only something that really bug me, every time a human gets turn into human they never think of using their magic to recover their body I mean Twilight know how to turn into an insect so, its possible.
But nope, they just suck the bullet and not even try to see if they can at least create a ghost protection of their former selfs
I just don't get it... why is he mad at discord? wasn't the first half of the chapter about how he is kinda ok with being in Equestria as a Colt and that he may even like it...and that it may possibly even be better then his old home? so why is he attacking discord?
"Screaming bloody murder" taken to new heights.
Green magic? Necromancy is a go!
4923674 That's the idea. Just as Adam begins to accept his fate, Discord appears and causes chaos
That last bit made me giggle
4923712
But he doesn't... Discord doesn't do anything to Adam... in fact Adam attacks him first, seemingly without reason. If he beginns to accept his fate shouldn't he feel "divided" towards him, maybe indifferent or maybe even a bit grateful towards him. I get it that he may not like him but his insight from befor shouldn't left him in this stat of pure rage towards him or am i wrong? i'm sorry if i overlook something but the scene screams to me that he only does it because the plot demands it... i don't like that....
fury of an english man... Man i really need to work on keeping my rage a bit longer...i like being angry it feels like i have power :3...
And so he earns his cutie mark, for murder... BRILLIANT!!!
Don't you mean Englishcolt?
4923785
Except Cellestia knows all about Discord's ways. And once Adam yells that the way he's is is because of Discord, there's gona' be some fightin' going on!
4923867 You might be right but you gave some bad examples. Joe might be referred to a cup of joe and Matilda and Gilda are not ponies. And Trixie might be considered just as odd as Adam. I mean, almost every character in the show has a weird name, it only makes sense that human names will be considered weird from a pony perspective
i know it is supposed to be probably a romance story with Luna, but because of his personality, i want him to meet Scootaloo and the main six or....just Twilight. Just a few others ponys later.
Kinda liked it that he snapped at the end. Good Chaper, i maybe read it a bit too late....to sleepy right now, finally my exam´s are over.
...but a very good chapter. It is one of the storys wihout a bad suprise, i know i enjoy them when i see them.
Never cross an Englishman first thing in the morning.
Especially not before their first cup of tea.
And most certainly not when there's a plethora of sharp pointy objects within reach.
So....he seemed to have come to terms with the change, and even decided he was better off in Equestria. Then he finds out Discord brought him and...wants...to...kill him....
I don't get it.
another excellent chapter good work.
Are you actually British yourself?
I don't care about the accent, just curious if you are or not.
YES!MOAR
4923932 Perhaps Joe might refer to a cup of Joe, but I don't see how Matilda and Gilda being non-ponies invalidates the argument. Matilda lives in Equestria, and I'm not sure but Gilda might too. And both of them
frequently interacted with ponies, so it isn't like ponies hadn't heard names like that just because they are mule and gryphon names.
Just to clarify, I don't mean any disrespect for your story, it's quite good.
Just take them! Please, don't hurt me, just take my love!
As someone who is friends with an English woman the answer is HELL NO!
LOL!!! I FEEL SORRY FOR DISCORD!
4923909
exactly, when Celestia knows that Adam is from an other world she will probably force discord to send him back because it's "the right thing to do" and even if she doesn't the hole mother thing will get awkward very quickly... on the other hand if Luna doesn't find out that he is an adult the hole lover thing will get awkward... it's really a lose-lose situation
in the end, if Adam really likes it in equestria, then he should try to make sure that no one knows he is from an other world or anger a being that could possible send him back.... like discord! so attacking him is not a very smart move... it would be unerstandable if he wanted to get home with all his heart but that's not the case... so, from a emotional and logical standpoint seen, he shouldn't have attacked discord... and that's why the ending of the chapter bugs me... but everyone else seems to go with the rule of cool here...
still, i would like to see an explanation why he attacks Discord in the next chapter... i'm not saying that there can not be an explanation i'm only saying that i like to have one... would certainly give great insight about his character
4924027 Nope. half Yemenite half Romanian with an Israeli accent. British people just sound so sophisticated, even when cursing
If he cant escape an englishman, then he defiantely couldnt escape a pissed russian!
I found something you may want to edit.
That should be "breaking".