//------------------------------// // The Perfect Date // Story: The Equestrian Honor Guard // by Honored Service //------------------------------// The Equestrian Honor Guard Chapter 31 By Honored Service “But what if they don’t like me?” I asked Fast Skies as we trotted together through the streets of Canterlot. “Or what if they catch me in a lie and then find out I'm a human? What is I mess everythin-mhmmhmmh!” I was muffled by Sky stuffing a hoof into my mouth and stopping in front of me. “Listen Honored, you're going to do fine, just calm down and relax. Remember everything we went over okay?” She cocked her head to the side and removed her hoof from my mouth. “There see much better.” She leaned in and gave me a kiss to help pick me up. And it did. “Alright my name is Honored Service. I'm from a small town found on the coast of the Trotlantic Ocean and I grew up in a small family and moved to Canterlot when I decided I wanted to be a Royal Guard.” I looked at Sky to make sure my story was matching up to the one we had rehearsed last night. “And we meet each other during training and started dating once you worked up the courage to ask me out because I was so awesome that I didn’t notice you from afar.” I received a swift punch to the shoulder. “Okay alright, sheesh, you asked me out because I was too dense to notice the signs you were throwing at me.” “Perfect, Just stick to that and improvise if you have too, but keep it believable. I know how you like to stretch the truth every now and again.” She bumped my hips with hers as we walked up to the door to the restaurant we were supposed to meet Fast Skies’s parents at. I slid a bag off my back and into some bushes near the exit of the restaurant. Inside it were some pants, armored chest piece, belt, holster, and good ol’ duster. Incase Luna’s spell went haywire, I wanted something to change into so I wasn’t running around naked. “Oh Fast over here!” Called a high pitched voice. We both turned and saw what I guess was Fast Skie’s Parents. They were both pegasus and flapped their wings at us. Her mother was a light blue color with the same colored mane as Sky. Her mane was done up in wild hair do that was a hair don’t, but she was smiling at us the entire time we walked closer. Her father was a large stallion and had a light red coat (just like his daughter) and a tan brown mane. He stood up and hugged his daughter close. He gave me the ‘look’ that only a father could give when staring down a boy (colt) dating his precious little girl (filly). Sky took her seat next to her mother and her father stuck out his hoof. “I’m Fast Streak. You must be Honored Service. My daughter has told us a lot about you. I would have imagined you being taller.” I placed my hoof against his and moved up and down along with his; just as the company had showed me yesterday. You hoof-bump when with friends, and shake with both hooves in an informal family manner. “Good to meet you sir. And she tells me all the time she wishes I was taller.” I looked over at Sky and winked at her. This caused her to blush and her mother to giggle at her daughter’s embarrassment. “Aren’t they just the sweetest thing Streak?” She laughed again and raised a glass to her mouth. It was filled with a dark pink liquid…resembling the punch like alcohol I had had at the Pinkie party. “And where are my manners, I'm Bright Skies, and it’s a pleasure to me you Honored. Our daughter’s letters are always filled with stories about you.” I took her hoof and gave it a gentle shake. I then sat myself next to Fast Sky and across from her father, who still hadn’t taken his eyes off of me. I gulped and gave a weak smile. “Haha yeah that’s me. Sky and I had some adventures in training camp.” Her father was still just giving me this deadpan stare. “Oh leave the poor colt alone Streak. He seems harmless to me.” Bright Sky waved a hoof at her husband and took another sip of her drink as a waiter came by and dropped off four salads. All covered in grass and oats. Something I haven’t eaten before. Technically I should be able to eat that now, but still with my mind that of a human, grass just didn’t seem that appetizing. The three other ponies at the table started on their salads immediately while I just stared at mine. I picked up a fork a speared some grass and a cucumber with it. I brought the green food to my mouth and paused, trying not to think about eating grass as a meal. Mr. Streak was watching me, so I quickly shoveled the food into my mouth. UGHUGHUGHUGH a thousand times UGH! I don’t know if it was because I had never eaten grass before or it was my human mind, but this was the single worst thing I have ever had. And during freshmen year at the college I had had mayonnaise and hot sauce for 3 meals straight. And that was better than this. “Oh this place always has the best salad, don’t you think so Honored?” Fast Skies gave me a quick nudge under the table with her leg. “Yes!” I said a little too loudly. “I mean yes I find this salad to be…the best I’ve ever had” I swallowed the bite of food and felt the dry blades of grass get stuck all the way down my throat. God I hate pony food. And I still have an entire salad to go. ********************************************************************** “There it is my minions! Canterlot.” Queen Chrysalis pointed a holed hoof at the city off in the distance. The changeling army was resting in a large clearing in the Everfree forest. “Now rest my army, we will need all of our strength for tomorrow’s fight. Rest for the day and tonight, for at sunrise tomorrow we launch our attack.” “Good Queen. Everything is going to plan. We shall take the city my storm, and neither the human nor the Princesses have idea we are arriving so soon. It will be a slaughter.” The possessed creature threw its head back and cackled at the sky with a piercing evil laugh. ***************************************************************** “And she falls off the cloud bed and right into the bowl of pudding I had left for her!” We all burst out laughing, except for Fast Skies who blushed and looked down at her empty salad bowl. I still had a nearly full bowl of food, but forget it, I couldn’t stomach that stuff. “So Honored how did you come across that cutie mark?” Sky’s father took a sip of his drink and raised an eyebrow at me. “My cutie mark?” I looked back at my flank and there it was. A large white star with a yellow and black outline. The United States Army symbol. Except this one had rounder edges and looked brighter. FUCK! I knew I forgot to check something! How the hell did I forget to look and see if I had a cutie mark? And how did Sky or the rest of Saddle Company forget to mention it. “Um excuse me for just a moment; I have to locate the restroom.” I got up from the table and quickly made my way towards the bathroom. I paced back and forth trying to come up with a story that would fit the mark. I can’t use anything relating to an army, since that didn’t happen Equestria. And I couldn’t say something about stars since I knew next to nothing about stars or astronomy. God I knew something was going to go wrong. How could this get any worse? “Hey, you thought of anything yet?” Fast Skies trotted around the corner and stopped in front of me. She had a worried look on her face. “No! How could we have forgotten about that! The single most important thing in a pony’s life and we just skipped over it.” I paced back in forth in front of my marefriend. “Wait that’s it! Okay I got it!” I grabbed Sky by the shoulders and planted a kiss on her lips and trotted back to the table with my head held high. I sat down and smiled, “ah much better; now where were we?” “You were going to tell us how you got your cutie mark?” Bright Skies asked me as she wipped her mouth with a napkin. “Well it started out just like any normal day for a colt like me. Having fun with friends and being a pain in the flank to my parents.” Bright Skies laughed and Fast Streak just kept staring at me. Damn there was just no way to get on this guy’s good side. Fast Skies rejoined us at the table and seated herself as I flashed her a smile. “Some friends and I were exploring the mountains nearby when, while climbing, a rockslide occurred. One of my younger friends wasn’t quick enough to get out of the way so I dove and pushed him out of the way.” I smiled and crossed my forelegs across my chest as the waiter arrived with our main course. I swear if it’s some type of grass I'm going to vomit. Show me hamburgers- nope just some hay sprinkled with seasonings and garnished with different fruits and vegetables. FUCK MY DAMN LUCK. I sucked it up and ate the fruit and other stupid healthy things first. They weren’t bad at all; they were actually very good. But the hay was unimaginably horrible. Like the driest and saltiest thing I have ever eaten. “And you weren’t hurt during this?” Sky’s father stared at me, unimpressed by my story of fake heroism that never happened. “I mean I got banged up by a few rocks, but that was it. And that’s when I realized it was duty to be a shining star, a hero to ponies.” I stood up and proudly stuck my flank into the air that got a laugh out of Fast Skies and Bright Skies. “Oh Fast, you picked a funny one! So unlike your father.” Sky’s mother nudged her husband who just humfphed and crossed his forelegs across his chest. “So did you give him a feather yet or are you saving it?” Sky blushed and her mother laughed and gave her daughter a hug. This caused her father stare at me even harder. He had a scowl locked on his face. “Sir, Mr. Streak, I feel if you don’t like me. Is something wrong?” I wanted to get this out now, because I was crazy for this mare and her dick of a father wouldn’t stop me. “Yeah, something is the matter. A rockslide occurs and somehow you escape without any major damage even though you jump straight into it to save some friend. And if you grew up in some town near the ocean, please explain to me a geography teacher, how mountains where present.” He smirked at me. I slowly leaned over to Fast Skies and whispered in her ear. “Why didn’t you tell me he was a geography teacher?” She hissed back, “I didn’t think it would matter.” “Sir it was a rocky coastal town that had mountains not far from it.” I gulped hoping that he would believe me. “And just what was the name of this town?” He squinted his eyes and smiled. Oh he thought he had me beat? Oh well think again dick. “Horsetown.” Come on, it had a pony/horse term in it, there had to be a town called that. “Horsetown? I thought your accent sounded different. Sorry for being so hard on you Honored. But I can never be too careful for my little filly.” He smiled for the first time that day, even if it wasn’t at me, but it was still a step forward. Hopefully the rest of the meal would go smoothly. “Here is your tables grass cakes with hay dressing and dandelion crème side.” The dark blue waiter said as he levitated plates over to our table. Fuck grass and all pony food. I want a hamburger. *********************************************************************** “Well it was nice meeting you Honored.” Bright Skies gave me a hug and looked at her daughter and her chosen mate standing next to each other. “I swear you are the cutest little things.” I turned to the side and rubbed my hoof against the ground. Fast Skies blushed and groaned, “Alright mom, you haven’t said that like a thousand times today.” “Now you to stay safe, and we’ll see you soon. Honored a word with you?” Fast Streak motioned for me to step aside with him. I followed him a short distance away till we were out of earshot of the mares. “Now listen here Honored, if that’s even your real name. If you hurt my little filly, I will make damn sure that you will know a new meaning in pain. I don’t know where you came from because Horsetown doesn’t exist. I can only assume that my daughter and you have been lying to us the entire night; and I just want to know why.” He moved in front of me to block the path leading to the mares. “Sir if you wait,” I looked up at the sky and saw that this lunch had dragged on to nearly dinner, “just a few moments I can answer your question. But you may not like it.” “I could care less if you're a bucking changeling, I want to know what…the…tartarus-“ I felt the transformation begin so I moved over to the bush and pulled out the bag. I felt my body begin to length. I felt my hooves split open and hooves turned into hands and feet. My normal shaggy brown and red orange hair replaced the mane that I had had; my tail disappeared into a muscular back as I slowly stood up and pulled on my pants. I looked down at the jaw dropped Fast Streak. “Yeah, I tend to have that effect on ponies.” I slipped my arms through my armored chest piece and attached the holster to my shoulder sling and draped the duster around my shoulders. I cracked my knuckles and felt right. Being a pony was awesome and all, but being a super kick ass, bad, mean mother fuck- I turned around and threw up bits of grass and vegetables into the bushes behind me. Damn it, what perfect timing. I came back around to see Fast Streak galloping off towards the two mares. Fuck. I ran after him trying to catch him and explain to him what I was. But it was too late, four legs beat two any day in a sprinting contest. “Honey, Fast, Honored was killed by some monster and it replaced him!” he turned and pointed at me as I ran up to the three startled ponies. I looked with pleading eyes to Sky to help me out here. All she did was fall over onto her side and start laughing. I just looked at her parents who were both frozen in fear and confusion. “Look Mr. Fast Streak, Mrs. Bright Skies, I am Honored Service. This is my true form. I am a human and so I had Princess Luna transform me into a pony so that you could meet me and be happy for Fast Skies. This was all my idea.” I bowed my head and waited for the scolding and yelling to begin; knowing that once her parents got over the initial reaction of me being who I am I’ll never see Sky again. “Fast, is he telling the truth?” Bright Skies turned to her daughter and asked her with a trembling voice. “Yes mom. It’s true. Everything. I like- no I love him. I gave him my feather and I want to be with him forever.” She didn’t falter once and just stared her mother down. Then her mother reached over and pulled her daughter into a tight hug. “Sweetie you two didn’t have to lie. As long as your happy and have found that special some..pony then I'm happy for you.” Her mother released her with tears in her eyes. “I'm so proud of you Fast.” “How can you support this Bright?” Sky’s father stepped in between sky and her mother. “He isn’t even a pony. I’ve heard about this human. He’s violent and dangerous and kills creature.” He stared me down again, but this time, I’ve had enough of being a little bitch to this bully. “Listen here sir.” I stood right in front of him so he was looking up at me. “Yes I'm violent and I have killed creatures, but you want to know why? Once was saving a group of school foals. The other time was self-defense and the most recent time was saving your daughter’s life. I don’t take life, I protect it!” I spun around on my heel and marched off in the direction of the castle. I have taken all I could take today from the pony. I needed to cool of alone. I walked along the emptying streets back to the castle just thinking about the night had gone wrong. If only the damn spell had lasted for another five minutes. If only her father hadn’t been such a dick. If only I hadn’t fallen for a damn pony. “You oaky Honored?” Fast Skies flew down and landed next to me. We kept walking in silence for a few minutes as we turned onto the road leading to the side entrance of the castle. “Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry about exploding on your father like that. But he just wasn’t giving me a chance.” I hung my head and kept walking feeling like I failed Sky. This was the only chance for a first impression and I blew it. “Don’t worry about it. My father can be a feather brain sometimes, and besides my mom is chewing him out right now for being such a jackass at dinner and afterwards when you came clean. Thanks for saying it was your idea all along, that was sweet. It’s a shame that spell hadn’t lasted longer.” She looked up at me with a sly smile. “And whys that?” I asked as I opened the door leading into the castle. The guard nodded as I walked by. He didn’t need to check my ID as I was the only 6 foot human walking around the castle. “Because… well…” Sky hovered up to my ear and whispered something that caused me to blush furiously and trip up and nearly fall on my face. I coughed and pulled on my armor’s collar as I recovered from that statement. “Let’s get some sleep Sky, tomorrows a new day, and I got a good feeling about next week.” *********************************************************************** “Fly my army! Go! Hit Canterlot just as the sun rises, tomorrow will be the end of the pony tyranny!” Thousands of instectoid ponies took off into the night traveling towards the city in the distance. Author here: You all know whats about to happen, don't you? Im going to combine the next three chapters into one to avoid shitty cliffhangers because i for one hate it when things just seem to end. So be prepared for a few days of a wait as the epic climax occurs. Peace- Honored Service