Thomas, a human, has appeared in the magical land of Equestria, though it is much different from the show. Ponies of this world are all anthros. What's more, Thomas has been assigned as Princess Luna's royal concubine.
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Aww. Was looking forward to the chance of seeing the opening song done.
Aww, Luna put all that effort into The Nightmare Before Christmas, and yet poor Thomas, dressed as the main character, Jack Skellington, couldnt stand at the end of the ride, turn back to the rest of the train, and exclaim. "Welcome, To My World."
Then again, if just the trip caused apples, he did that, and theyd have to call a majour life threatening emergancy with multiple cardiac arrests etc?
7260145 As I understand, the site forbids recreating songs like that.
Great chapter. I was hoping that somehow the monologue from Michael Jscksons Thriller would be in there as a precursor to the haunted house but I can't have everything I guess.
7260173 Maybe next time.
Eyyy lmao this chapter was litt af
the adults freak while the kids laugh it off, I hate having to deal with the uptight strict church going types! Going to be hilarious when Firestorm and the snivelling gutter crawling uptights that he works for make their play and it all falls apart due to Thomas not buckling at the correct time.
I really hope Tomas ends up actually having powers that he wasn't aware of...that would throw a wrench in everything...
7260164 It doesn't forbid adding the clip from youtube, though.
A few things:
1.) Being ex-military, I'd like to say that Firestorm has some of the worst tradecraft I've ever seen (for example: you never want to interact with a target you're observing, doing so is extremely high-risk and should only be employed when you have no other choice). I'm honestly surprised that Thomas didn't have any feelings of nervousness or just straight up "something's wrong here, but I don't know what" from that conversation. It tripped about ever red flag I have when it comes to operational security.
2.)
I don't think a "try" can do anything.
3.)
Man, it was very sweet that the Nightmare Before Christmas was used to scare the adults while Thomas and the foals reacted with happiness. Firestorm was shown to be very charismatic and I liked his interaction with Thomas and the group. I got to say that I'm slightly disappointed that the TalonXLuna scene wasn't shown but I recovered when I saw how scared Moonlight and Silver acted on the scare house. Still, I have a question. Who was Red Amber (I think I forgot her name) and was she the mare who glared at Thomas for silence when he caught her with Sun Dancer? Also, why did she wanted Thomas to ignore what he saw?
7260283 Wait and see.
7260722 Not military, so I'm sorry for not knowing this stuff.
Thanks for the catch.
7260736 Pretty sure Red Amber is a stallion. I checked and admit that part was poorly written, but it was Sun Dancer who was glaring because she didn't like being seen as weak.
7260766
Don't worry. It's more of an off-hand comment than a critique. Thomas, as a character, definitely seems to be someone that would miss that, as he seems to shut down compared to, for example, a member of the USSF who is trained to have a heightened sense of security when dealing with the unfamiliar.
7260213 next few chapters please
7260760 Oh crap...he does doesn't he?
7260722 Firestorm isn't military plus Tomas is by definition an alien who doesn't know anything...quite literally...we seen him get chided for beginner mistakes...not to mention I could literally chart out the dates of each Mlp event that I know of with a calendar and some investigation of events...all I would have to do is figure out when the next Saddle Arabian delegation was once the Crystal Empire returns and I could figure out when we should be worried about Trixie...something Tomas never thought of doing...because he's extremely dumb...no really...he is dumb...he assumes everything will go as in the show in a world of ANTHRO ponies?
Plus Firestorms planning makes up for most of his sloppy execution considering this is a very trusting dumbass of a human here...did I mention I assume the worst in everyone so that I won't get blindsided by this shit.
7261024
As I mention later, that was not a critique. It was an off-hand comment. I did not, nor will I ever, expect Thomas to see what I do. We have different mindset and experiences. It's also wrong to expect Thomas to notice this kind of stuff. Even trained operatives have difficulty when they first start out, and Thomas lacks all the training that they get before they take their first assignment.
And Firestorm is some form of military or para-military. Go to the chapter that deals with the three stooges that got fired by Luna. He's shown to be in some form of covert organization. Therefore, me stating that he has bad tradecraft is legit.
Ah. Jumpscares making mares freak out. Almost as entertaining as human on pain medications.
I'm surprised such cute things scare (not just startle) any humans at all, really. After watching Pinocchio and a few videos of atomic tests, I've realized that I'm glad not to witness true horror.
Speaking of which, has Thomas relayed in as much detail as he could the horrors of man's creations yet? I know he had a lot of classified conversations with her.
I'm hoping to see the motivations behind Firestorm's meddling.
OMG this was such a sweet and cute read hopefully Moonlight and Silver will join his herd .part of this had me cracking up ,this fic just keeps getteng better and better I loved it all .I can't wait to see what Firestorm is realy up to and I hope they can all get throw it ok.
I would love that fun house it sounds like a real blast.
Okay, what the hell IS Firestorm? My curiosity grows each time I see him. I definitely would have liked to see Talon's reaction to that ride. However, I think Tali is enjoying a ride of her own. I am sorry to say that I never saw 'The Nightmare Before Christmas', so I have no idea what scared the adults so much.
Was that "Thriller" playing in the fake Everfree Forest?
upgraded from tracked to faved
7260966 If he does, it won't be for many moons to come.
7261024 More like he's relayed these concerns to the Princesses already and trusts in them to handle the situation.
7261218 Even if he told Luna about things like nukes, there's no way Firestorm would be able to know of such things.
7261402 Happy to serve.
7261787 YouTube. Go there. Watch now!
As for Firestorm, I'm afraid I plan on stretching this mystery out as long as possible, perhaps even to the end of the season.
7262326 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eavo08IXduQ
7262344 Nice.
7262553
Good. I'd hate to see his scrying mirror and such causing a sensation.
It's always interesting seeing role reversals, even a reversed role reversal. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
I loved all the bits with the reversed gender rolles it was very funny and adorable, specially the part when the girls hug Thomas to make each other fell safe after failling to act brave since they are the big and stronger mares protecting the "petit stallion"
More please
7262539 As in passage of time or sex?
7263638 Ah. It took me a moment, but I see what you did there. Clever. But passage of time. First I need to lay out some shadowing for the four.
7263615 One, I missed the memo. Two, I was just pointing out that not all of us hate Blueblood.
Eck. Spying on their private moments in the warded areas now.
Hope they can pick up on that sometime but unless they look for it they wont find it. He will be amongst some of the most magically skilled individuals in the world
ch66
Did she have a foldable chair to sit and watch as well, and a score card?
half
Nahh, us oldies are just fuddy duddies!
Needs this somewhere.
Best thing that coulda happened was that train ride. Tom has one up on Sunny. Do we need a score card for senior concubines now?
7903742 Damn. That is creepy.
8071026 Definitely this is my favorite chapter
Next year do Thriller
I just wanna see more of Firestorm, this arc is really interesting.
8605514
He pops up here and there. His character was a favor to a fellow writer, but I'm honestly having a bit of trouble thinking of stuff to do with him.
HAPPY HAUNTS MATERIALIZE!!
9395352
Exactly!
i.imgflip.com/2s9sw9.jpg
I'll just assume that it comes up In a later chapter, but i bet it is. He's having the same effect on the two mares that the Alicorns would normally have in their bed warmers.
I love that song