Thomas, a human, has appeared in the magical land of Equestria, though it is much different from the show. Ponies of this world are all anthros. What's more, Thomas has been assigned as Princess Luna's royal concubine.
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Looking good... Why are all pony guards shit at their mane job?
I think a professional guard like Moonlight should have grabbed and neutralized Lyra the moment she tackled her charge, rather than stand and yell at the green crazy mare.
Has Thomas always known about the MLP show? I don't remember him ever stating he knew of it or watched it. Of course it's been a while since the first chapter so maybe I just don't remember.
Awesome
6533719 In Moonlight's defense, she wasn't expecting anything to happen in what she assumed would be a quiet little town. It was a mistake to let her guard down like that, but at least she was willing to blast Lyra, so that's something.
6533725 Yeah. It was a bit of a mistake on my part. My thinking was that she didn't want to harm a civilian.
6533746 Early on it's stated outright that he watched the show and told the Princesses about future events so that they'd be better able to handle all the crap that's coming.
6533756 Appreciated.
HAHAHA GREAT! Love the interductions of Ponyville and new adventures for a day... Cant wait to see what crazyness comes next!!!
First Talon is proud that he's standing up for himself; next she's breaking him down so he'll apologize for something he really didn't do.
God I hate this Gryphon so much...
I had a very clear and hilarious visual of BonBon running.
We art surprised that Lyra meets the human before Pinkie Pie, though if she tries to get close to him we believe that Moon would be ready to stop any 'next ones'. Only to be negated by possible 'madness' of vanishing and appearing from nowhere, we think Thomas will be likely more scared of MOST of his meetings in Ponyville. Though we wonder how Doctor would react at seeing a human? Bewildered? Or continuing on this current path with Lyra bringing Thomas to Twilight to earn her bet and show off, though we would think it would be quite funny if Lyra knew more about humans then anybeing besides Thomas himself.
Of the sort of how many would 'fangasm' over meeting said ponies and knowing intimate details, though Lyra is a positive standing Unicorn towards him currently.
6533914 I think you might be reading too much into this. Talon's trying to help him out of his shell, which involves helping him get used to friendly ribbing, which he's already aware she likes to do.
Yes, an inevitable thing, especially for any story set in Canterlot since Ponyville is right there just down the mountain and all.
This is the point where you realize that you are Lyra's fetish, yes, you, the human reading this comment.
See, this is the one thing about full nudism that I just never got; lack of support. For the ladies with big beasts and the guys with larger penii slash testicles the lack of support has to be painful more often than not. Bras and jockstraps were invented for reasons other than modesty. People still do it in Real Life so there is just something I'm missing I guess.
BonBon's comical beasts are what brought this on, mare really should invest in a sports-bra. Maybe when she gets knocked out by her own knockers.
I was expecting Talon to be friends with one of the main six, Lyra is a nice choice though. Maybe the Musiccorn will join the harem just to be with the human? Candymare would have to join as well, to keep an eye on Lyra and all.
I'm going to come up with silly nicknames for everyone now... . Other than just the obvious "cutie-mark symbol plus 'butt'" type that is.
I know Thomas doesn't look much like a stallion but I'm pretty sure he makes for one ugly filly. I can see him being confused for a colt though. Silly BonBon.
I don't think Lyra is going to be happy until she gets some close personal time with Thomas, wink wink nudge nudge say no more. Be it alone or not, well, that doesn't really matter.
Welp, now I wait for Monday's update.
6534005 A sign I did good.
6534079 An example of show not tell.
Pfff, out and on display, considering it's Talon speaking!
Hmm...the bit about sunlight reminded me of something I remember hearing in regards to depression.
If I recall it correctly (someone with more facts is encouraged to correct or add to this), spending time in sunlight helps our bodies produce a proper level of Vitamin D, though off the top of my head I forget how this might play into mental functions. In addition to this, our natural circadian rhythms give us a boost to balanced cognitive function when we enjoy the sun, including benefits such as helping reduce depressive tendencies and the like. A simple morning walk in the sunlight can also have substantial benefits to mental wellness.
That said, it is all the more understandable that Thomas is struggling with depression like he is, with environmental factors contributing to the things working against him. It is of course not impossible to recover while he is living a night life, but it does make it more difficult for him.
And as Moonlight is a trained combatant and assigned to protect Thomas, a random pony tackling him out of the blue would've been met with immediate action, even if she was caught off guard. Of course, it would have been more difficult to let the scene play out as pleasantly, considering Moonlight would have only seen somepony attacking Thomas at first and met them with force until subdued. Military training doesn't mess around and Lyra would've been either unconscious or restrained in a few seconds at most.
However, I think in this instance, the use of creative license was necessary to let the story play nicer with the feel it's been taking. Cold and efficient takedown against Lyra would've made it harder to play nice or end as nice. This chapter was fun.
6534029 Spoilers! Basically none of that happens, and it's a little sad because that sounds a bit more concise than what's currently happening. I'm doing a little revising right now and it's becoming increasingly apparent that this whole thing is turning into a Frankenstein's monster with all the reassembled and mismatched parts.
6534050 That's a fair point about the support. Personally, I'd like to think natural pony strength combined with a bit of magic keeps things reasonably in place where the won't ache. They'd probably wear such things during sporting events like the Running of the Leaves though.
This chapter was awesome. Lyra and Bon Bon's encounter with Thomas, Moonlight, and Talon was funny. Also, it was pretty interesting that Talon was buddies with Lyra beforehand. BTW, will it be revealed at some point , what did Celestia do to Talon?
So which 'this gonna be gud' meme should I use? I think, this one.
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/54838618.jpg
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Awesome job as always, man.
6534232 I once heard one of the Norweigen countries gives everyone paid vacations down south during the winter in order to combat suicides during that time of year because of how dark it gets. So yeah, there is function to it.
Thanks for understanding that bit. I wanted that scene to play casually and fun, but realistically your description would have been more likely. I just couldn't think of a way to make it realistic in a way I liked though.
6534442 I think it's more fun to leave it up to the imagination.
6534456 Appreciated.
6534682 You're welcome.
And such is the challenge of balancing realism that fits versus artistic license that keeps it fun. In an abstract (or is it indirect?) way of comparison, the developing massive MMO named Star Citizen has some incredible realism, even thrusters on a ship are individually calculated and bullet mass and specific trajectory are accounted for how much damage will happen. Yet at the same time, several centuries into the future like that, real battles would be fought by unmanned drones and best computing power would be a major factor.
When the point is entertainment, these are simply choices that must be made to enhance the experience. While granted, Moonlight being lightning quick to take out a threat would make her come across pretty badass, it also would have necessarily made the moment a lot harsher because a bodyguard isn't there to be gentle. Instead, it feels nice and quirky having Lyra get to molest poor Thomas and nopony really knows how to respond at first. It fits the feel of the story better in my eyes. I itch to see the next chapter already. I expect stuff for reasons from Pinkie Pie...
6534927 In appreciation, I'll confess there'll be no Pinkie next chapter. That's the following one. Also, she'll have a reaction I can almost guarantee you didn't expect.
6535042 It's Pinkie. In a way, it'd be more surprising if she got predictable.
Okay, I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say that Talon is going to rope Lyra and Bon Bon into lessons for Thomas. Other then that I've enjoyed this chapter. I'm just waiting to see if the main six show up in the course of the story. Twilight I would guess shows up and maybe Rarity heaven help Thomas with her as I see her drag him into a dress up and make a the whole gender mistake like Bon Bon did.
6535211 Damn. That's actually a good idea. This is why I need reviewers so we can bounce ideas off each other. I had the same idea for Rarity, but that'll have to wait till later.
Happy you're enjoying it.
6535238 Well you can hit me up anytime if you need someone to bounce idea's with.
Silly ponies, they think they are making Thomas a better concubine, but the true is that when his training is completed, he will become a weapon of mass seduction, any creature close to him will bow to his sexiness. They will try to stop him, but his cuteness will prove to be to much for them, and before they know it, Equestria will be under a new ruler.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
treeofmamre.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/dr-evil-and-minion-laughing.png?w=640
6535783 Hmm, could be, but not for a while yet.
Can't wait for Twilight's reaction either. Once that happens, Thomas is going to have his hands full with the inquisitive mare, as well as the oncoming headache it will provide.
6536109 If only it were that easy.
...
Well that's fucking ominous!
so who the one thomas is gonna meet?
6537285 Tell me about it.
Well... I know that there is 2 or 3 Harry Potter's references in MLP but... What's the point with calling Batponies Thestrals ? XD
That aside, Moonlight wrost bodyguard ever ! She let the chimp get tackled so brutaly that I shout "first down !!" when reading it. XD
And she gave the time to lyra to bad touch the poor Thomas and all ! X)
And there is a blind Bonbon who's totaly not recognizing a human just under her snoot even if Lyra must have told here many times how it's supposed to look. X)
Anyway, I think I'll really enjoy seing Thomas
sufferventuring into Ponyville and meet some more character's of the showKeep the good job Gray boy ! 8D
I love this chapter this story just keeps getting better and better.I can't wait to see whats next Lyra and Bon bon ackted just as i amajin they would.
6539944 Admittedly I forgot where the word thestral came from, thinking it was ancient greek or something.
Yeah. That was my bad. Originally I had written them all to be much more casual about all this.
Years of denial can be hard to get over.
I imagine you will.
6539976 Always happy to be of service.
Poor, poor Tommy boy is never able to catch a break hn? Love it!
6541625 Everyone always seems to like that kind of thing.
Not really a fan of Bonny there. Seems a tad insensitive. I suppose it could be because she was to focused on Lyra, but still.
Really looking forward to next chapter.
6543420 Fair enough. I'm also looking forward to what's next.
6542465
Becuse deep inside we are all sick fucks who enjoy to watch his suffering. As a cat, I´m just honest about it.
6544362 No. The pun was intentional.
6544453 Fair enough. I'll cut down.