Thomas, a human, has appeared in the magical land of Equestria, though it is much different from the show. Ponies of this world are all anthros. What's more, Thomas has been assigned as Princess Luna's royal concubine.
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Wow, I dint expected the concubines to actually have married lifes in Equestria. Guess, love is a bit more liberal and open-minded. Still, it was nice to see Thomas get more background about Equestria.
Thou hast to take into fact that this human knows certain future events involving a critical security matter pertaining to the element barers, add onto that of being the only one in Luna's 'harem' even after however long he's been in it? Thou should start to see that she MIGHT not see him as 'just a consort', we might be overthinking it but what might she do if he shows interest in another mare or feather?
6147915 That is definitely the mood I am shooting for. Open love for all.
Well, Tomas has learned a little bit more about Equestria. I believe he will be learning a little bit more in the next chapter. As long as the chapters are still being worked out and released you can take as much time as you need.
6147999 That first part should have been pretty obvious. I'm pretty certain Thomas said as much very directly. As for the second... you'll just have to wait and see.
6148314 We also assumed for a time the guard with them this whole time was Luna in disguise, though that hasn't been proven or ruled out yet.
6148335 That's a little far fetched, to be honest.
6148313 Cool.
6148714 It never occurred to him that there were manuals on whoring.
6148844 Fair point, but Thomas wasn't paying attention to that part.
"Luan’s Senior Concubine"?
I believed it Was Luna's Senior Concubine.
6149330 High praise.
6149479 Thanks for the catch, but you had a mistake of your own.
I read that as Thanos
This is Thanos if you don't know who he is.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120929124431/marveldatabase/images/5/55/Thanos_%28Earth-616%29.jpg
6154324 Appreciated, and thanks for watching me.
6157835 A little late to the party, but it's nice to see new people starting from the beginning. And no. No yaoi... for now.
great chapter great story
6169396 Appreciated.
That was a awesome read i loved it all .
6195061 Thanks.
Polyamory is wrong; it should be either multimorey or polyphila. But most people don't care about mixing Greek and Latain so eigh.
I like the casual mention of how a mare could have more than one husband. Geeze, talk about selfish. With the whole one to four ratio the monogamous relationships aren't so bad but one mare getting multiple stallions is a bit greedy.
The mention of them going into the restaurant is a bit jarring, it feels as if their conversation goes to a full stop install of a lull. At first I thought it was a full on seen change and a few paragraphs of the story had gone missing but then they pick the conversation right back up.
Maybe change the first sentence to "Before they could really get into the conversation a stomach grumble and the sight of the moon high in the sky signaled that it was time for lunch."
Also later you have "worked out flanks", that "out" should be a "our".
6289427 Glad your liking this so far, and thanks for the catches.
Wait, what? Ooooh, THAT is a serious security breach that could come back to bite Celestia in the plot later, especially when Changelings make their first appearance in ages.
It could be an easy way for even the most powerless nobody, nutcase, or distant international criminal nogoodnik to strike at Celestia, just strike at those who are closest to her in her daily life -who are unguarded!
"Thomas rubbed his temples to ease his headache, not considering that the cider might . ” Might what? Seems there's something missing here?
"“Damn right,” Talon agreed. “And it’s not even really your fault that ignorant. " - Missing a bit here between "that" and "ignorant"?
Random grammar checker, away!
6422795 This site is glitchy as hell, which is why I didn't see this earlier. However, Celestia protects her concubines with discretion. The very term concubine implies that they are less important than they really are, dissuading would-be attackers.
Role*
7020790 Appreciated
on
7895787 Again, good catch.
Missing a comma.
Lose fifty experience points.
Obviously. He is only human.
8117306 Thanks for the catch and the kind words.
But it isn't
But you are
11177063
They're significantly more complicated.