Thomas, a human, has appeared in the magical land of Equestria, though it is much different from the show. Ponies of this world are all anthros. What's more, Thomas has been assigned as Princess Luna's royal concubine.
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Well it is about time those two banged
6962190 Still gotta wait for that part. Hot dogging is not technically banging.
I'm so proud of Thomas. It's nice to see that he got comfortable enough to kiss Taloj and it was nice to see a human's POV on how a Griffin's beak feels like lips. I also laughed when Thomas developed a liking to Talon's hotdogging him, Talon getting turned on by how weak Thomas is in comparison to her, and Moonlight becoming jealous. Definitely one of my favorite chapters so far.
6962214 Always nice to hear.
Worried more for Thomas from Talon keep pushing and pushin, you know youll like it, go on, just like this, like that, and in a couple months time she has a rag doll due to mind break where hes locked in a selfsustaining loop of not wanting to lose his freinds by telling them things that would hurt their feelings or worse, because, look, he hasnt said anything in all this time, except he was ok, liked it.
Worse Catch 22 mental lockout occurs when you cant say anything because saying something you belive cuauses offence but then you think they take your silence as an offense in not replying and then realising its a catch 22 situation adds in another layer and you slide into recursion until unconciousness, even atthe last beleiveing theyre taking offense due to you taking the easy way out.
I am thinking things are about to get heated.
6962260 We art siding with thou in this situation, though we wonder if he becomes less talkative would anyone such as Moonlight or Luna notice due to Talon's more aggressive approach?
she is more of a predator species, so by his nature alone she could be regressing into a dominant stance the more she is around him or against him, we know there will be a 'fuck up' resulting in her being a bit too aggressive causing injuries. Besides could anyone fault him or her if she ends up injuring him by her stronger sharp talons during a rut? from what we see, this could be early signs of her losing her 'higher thinking' process. increasing the likely hood of him getting hurt since physically he is weaker than a pony, now add in the fact talon is a griffon and her species might morbidly prey on him.
Fear the beaks, teeth or other food mashing natures with thy genitals young Thomas! Also so far he is rather extremely lucky he's not in the hospital yet for anything, yet as another saying goes all good things come to an end. Also his specific blood, even type would be more of a 'one of the kind' nature. Since there are no other humans to supply his type in case he is injured, or even organ donors. that's a horrible thought.
Great chapter like always. Now that Thomas is getting close to banging Talon, I'd like to know how he's gonna be with Moonlight. And if any of the Main Six is gonna be part of the Herd. I can imagine Twilight being part of it after that kiss.
My like (#666) THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST o.o'
6962735 Funny thing is I've been noticing that number pop up an awful lot. Like, I'm playing a game, and I either have a score or an amount of gold like that. Eerie.
Holy shit 666 likes, NOBODY. TOUCH. ANYTHING, WE MUST'NT DISTURB THE BALANCE!!!!!!
Yeah ! That was a good chapter ! The best since a while ! :D
Glory to hot dogs ! Bring the mayonaise !
At the time I'm tiping my comment, you have 666 positive votes on your fic !
It is time to bring some hellspawns to the story !! Mwahahahahahahahaaaaaa !
Like... Leather winged ones ? *I ask innocently*
6962998 Too late. Looks like some has saved the story about beastality from the touch of the dark one. Yay
6963017 This was the best? Most seem to think that of the last one. And frankly I'm inclined to agree. Also, now that I think about it, leather might not be such a bad idea.
6963149 Meh, taste and colors are not debatable things, like we say in France. 8D
But yeaaaaah... Speaking about France *cough cough*. Some leather would be great. I already imagine our dear human hero progressing in his accepation of the herd thing if a certain prench batpony suddenly join him in Luna's harem !
YOU GET ME HYPED !!!
that was a awesome and funny read It was nice to learn a little more about pony dating and compere to are owe .And I don't know how much more Moonlight can take Intel she just finny realizes that she loves him ,but I hope nit's soon because it's killing me.Also can you give him a D size upgrade,Because it has been driving me crazy how the keep menacing it ,maybe by a certain Zebra
things get really hot. a butt fetish job really azzecchato. It will be one of the "talents" of Talon ?. Moonlight will stay smoking with rage and jealousy, I think by the latter. who knows maybe in the next chapter you will also have a taste of Thomas? I wait anxiously to know !.
6963292 You want hype? Well, several of those chapters have already been written. It's just a matter of getting from point A to point B in the story.
6963398 If I ever figure out how to do rhyming, then maybe.
6963688 Getting to that "B point" will surely stimulate my "G point" ! 8D
6965109 Well his penis is in one of her butts. It's not like he has much room to argue.
The problem with inter species relationships is when you come across incompatible equivalents, beak to lips, for instance. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Guess I can say it now, you sir have written a chapter equivalent to a five star rated erotica. Sensual yet sweet. Even diving a little deeper using the nuzzle and kisses... Honestly thought Moonlight would be first though.
6968140 To show my thanks for the nice comment, I'll admit that Moonlight was originally supposed to be first, but that took the story off on a bit of a tangent that I'm not ready for yet. So, Talon gets to have fun first.
So far I've read...not much exhibitionism. :/
6969200 Don't recall promising there would be, though I may have suggested there might be. Why? Did you want some?
Oh boy I loved this chapter so much, it was so funny to read. The warm momment, the dialogues, the sexy scene at the end
I liked it almost as much as I enjoyed the last chapter (if not at the same level).
Such a hearth warming momment between Tali and Thomas, we need to find someone who could draw them holding each other the same way you described them in this part.
Oh yes he is, he is in so much danger
That evil, big, smoking hot, and sexy monster
Yes Moonlight do it!, save him from that evil seductress before it is to late, save your little and sexy stallion.....or not
Oh my! that poor boy, the horror!
I am not jealous, YOU ARE JEALOUS!
THEY ARE JEALOUS, THE UNIVERSE IS JEALOUS!!!
*bangs head against wall in a clear sing of negation, frustration and jealous*
I needed to write this comment and take this out of my sistem, I just have to, it was that good in my opinion.
6970765 Really happy you're enjoying this so much. Hopefully you'll enjoy the turn the story takes as much.
6969260 Yup. I have been traveling ALL of Fimfiction trying to find a good story that is fully exhibitionism.
6972408 Maybe I can do something down the road, but fully... I'm afraid that's not happening.
6969200 What do you mean by not much exhibitionism? there is plenty of "horse people go naked" in this story, unless you are refering to something else.
6972865
Ask and ye shall find! I am not jealous!
I found it interesting that Thomas doesn't note how courtship is usually practiced/ exercised within the bounds of monogamy. It would go a long ways in explaining why his interactions in a polyamorous setting is stilted and awkward.
That being said, I do like the background information about Thomas' aversion of Tali's raptor-like beak. Even in spite of it's high flexibility.
Another thing I found conspicuously absent was Thomas explaining the concept of personal space and throwing in predator/ scavenger behaviorisms as an explanation as to why most humans aren't as tactile as ponies. This too, would have shaped and altered, and maybe deepen their understanding of Thomas and why he reacts the way that he does.
I kind of feel that Midnight was really neglected in this chapter. There was no skinship between her and Thomas, and even in the conversation, I feel she was only involved peripherally. Maybe in the next chapter, it'll show Thomas and Tali dealing with Midnight, who is being affected by depression and the like due to her perceived slight because of how much she had been ignored, in addition to doubting her own attractiveness as a consequence.
I'm really enjoying the story, especially the worldbuilding around polygamistic cultures and the frictions/ awkwardness which may arise as a consequence that one of them is an alien from a monogamist-favored world and culture.
6978029 A good point about the predator behaviorism. Didn't include them because I honestly didn't think of that. Maybe in a rewrite.
Sorry to disappoint, but Moonlight will continue to be neglected, as the story has gone through a severe rewrite. Also, feelings slightly hurt is not the same as depression.
Nice to hear.
6984353 theres like one in fucking 13
Well, finally got through this chapter. I gotta say, I like how these three interact. I'm just waiting for the confession from Moonlight that she hasn't realized yet.
? Not sure if this is 'smile' or something else?
Delete 'I'
of
the (snerking snerk snerk! )
7902640 Thanks.
If she falls in, I may die laughing.
Tricycles are more stable.
I swear you repeated this exact sentence from a few chapters earlier.
This isn't the first time I've noticed, but I don't think you have the right meaning for 'leered' in mind. Since it normally means 'to stare in a sexual manner' and that doesn't fit the rest of Moonlight's behavior here (or elsewhere).
8119883 I actually repeat that sentence earlier in this same chapter, so I removed the second one.
FINALLY! goddamn
Dude, I'm so fucking jealous.
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Put the "Well?" in a new line and add the question mark
period at the end
ask, "Like what"? (the comma)
*tickling (??)
It's
8575474
Some real sloppy mistakes I'm disappointed in myself for not catching. Also, Microsoft word doesn't like the last two "It's".