Thomas, a human, has appeared in the magical land of Equestria, though it is much different from the show. Ponies of this world are all anthros. What's more, Thomas has been assigned as Princess Luna's royal concubine.
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Almost no attention is paid to the language problem.
6250574 I'm not quite certain what you mean by that. Luna's language problem? She's still learning and tends to break down a while after lessons, especially in the heat of the moment.
6250593 So you must be know female body language signs then?
6250611 Still not sure what you're getting at. Can you just spell it out?
Perfect.
6250620 Nevermind.
6250632 Good to know.
6250644 I'm not upset or anything. It's just that if you noticed some sort of issue, I'd like to know so I can address it.
The clop scene was highly entertaining. Thanks.
6250802 Good to know.
AWESOME clop scene!!! I loved it.
i say your clop scene was about the same as all the others ive read. meh, not bad but not good. the interactions of Chimpy and Moonbut where very nice and amusing doe.
This is the personal view of what I think... Screw what other people think do what you love and don't give a shit about the consequenses.*(**)
" You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself."
Dylan Moran
A wise saying take the word of this man if you don't take mine.
*I am not liable for any crimes that happen because of this.
**I even misspelled consequences cuz screw em.
Erm, typo?
Not bad.
6251061 Thanks for the constructive criticism.
6251149 Happy to hear
6251154 Cool.
6251291 Maybe, but it only gets worse from here.
6252401 Good advice, but I'd still like to be able to write things others want to read.
6252443 Thanks for the catch
6252754 want i should tell it again?
6252762 That's fine but I would rather the author is happy with their creation than other peoples critique.
"Don't worry be happy"
Bob Marley
6252860 I'm already stressing to achieve perfection and have everything in a satisfying order. Some kinds words go a long way to giving me the boost needed to keep writing.
6252882 No one and nothing are perfect no being will ever reach that and anything claiming it is the most imperfect, embrace your flaws and use them to make you a better writer/person. Also Hikaboola.
Fear not, your sexy horse words are strong. I would be most sad if you did not do future chapters.
6255720 There were going to be future chapters either way. The only thing at stake was the nature of the clop. But I guess my style is sufficient. Mostly story chapters with a clop or two ever now and then. Thanks for the kind words.
Okay so I noticed that the author keeps alluding to Thomas having some deep inner depression. (and i can't tell if he's doing it intentionally)
Thomas has no possessions, no space of his own and is constantly reminded that he's a stranger in a strange land.
It honestly feels like He's just one bad day away from soaking up some nightmare moon and going ballistic.
6268868 It was intentional. Thomas does have depression. And, like a lot of depressed people, he doesn't want to burden those around him with the knowledge because causing them worry would just upset him more.
6268969 and my nightmare theory?
is that something you had planned or am I chasing shadows here.
6269632 I hadn't planned for it to get that bad, but it's certainly something to consider for later.
I kinda want to see Talon and Tomas sex scene spinoff. This was also hot though.
6271491 It seems you're not alone in that, but I'm happy that you're happy.
6276762 More or less.
Damn! I was really hoping for some spanking, but GOOD SHOW! Played Luna's body like the finest of instruments!
Nicely done with the clop, looking forward to more when it happens.
Should be a "Your" there.
I knew what Luna did to him right away, seeing his reaction to it was funny. And Luna's reaction to his reaction, good reaction chain there.
That was a awesome read,this just keeps getting better and better. I'm so happy to see Luna does truely love him, I hope he does become her coltfreind soon.
1. Nice clop scene
2.
Seems like something gamer luna would say.probably
6292879
It is spelled coltfriend
inside of ?maybe?
One wonders why they need concubines then.
Eh, I prefer the non-clop chapters. It's not bad. I just like plot and character interaction more than, well, plot and character interaction.
8117470 I don't think that line was meant to imply incest, as the two do just like to hang out sometimes. However, there is a reason for the concubines that will be explained in time.
Fair enough, but I do acknowledge that some of my clops are better than others. Also, the more popular ones have about an equal mix of character development and plot development.
Yeah nope, that's where I draw the line. Age-regression play during sex is a big red flag for me, it just screams "I want to diddle children". And this story started out so good too......
Well done....WELL DONE !!!!
I wonder if in the future he'll be able to, er... sort of, be better at it?
This is a good story. And I will continue to read it. But according to my personal taste, I prefer the protagonist who takes the lead in sex. So I wonder if he'll get any buffs in this part in the next chapters.
(All of this with the help of Google Translate)
11745245
Glad you're enjoying things. However, I'm sorry to say that Thomas being assertive is a little inconsistent. He can take the lead once his engine has been revved, but it's usually the ladies who take the initiative.