Thomas, a human, has appeared in the magical land of Equestria, though it is much different from the show. Ponies of this world are all anthros. What's more, Thomas has been assigned as Princess Luna's royal concubine.
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I'm happy to hear youre not going to fall into the endless revision pit of despair. I've seen a few authors get so focused on fixing their earlier chapters that they literally just keep releasing the first chapter endlessly searching for false perfection. Eventually they either give up, or they dilute their original ideas so far that whatever unique concept they started with is soon ground away into a story of almost nothing.
Besides the pacing in the earlier chapters was fine to me, the speed changes kind of seemed to suit Thomas's struggles to really understand anyway.
Okay, this chapter was great. I really liked Thomas' interaction with Celestia's harem, especially Sun Dancer telling him about Boueblood's past and his chat with Cadance and Shining Armor. Still, I'm curious about something. Thomas admitted that he's awkward about sleeping with Talon and she told him that it's okay if he doesn't want to, yet the chapter ends with Thomas being supposed to break in his new herd mate. Does that mean that Thomas, Talon, and Luna are going to have a threesome? Also, I enjoyed how Thomas mentioned about the Changelings and Pinkie's apology cake. Keep up the great job and happy 2016. I hope that the year treats you kindly.
6798810 A nice thought, but I was actually referring to the fact that I never intended this story to go this far and thus never gave the beginning my usual planning beforehand.
6798837 I hope it does too. But in answer to your question, there are technicalities.
When Pinkie decides you are going to have a party, you are going to have a party shes had a part in?
After Pinkie makes you Cupcakes, Dash is gonna take you for a tour round the Rainbow Factory, then have a quiet picnic in Cheerilees Garden?
Wouldve thought emotivore Changelings would be feeing very unwell by this time.
6798902 Never heard of Cheerilee's Garden. I was actually expecting you to mention Fluttershy's shed.
Thank you for deciding not to scrap everything and start from scratch. A number of authors have done that and didn't finish what they restarted. As for this chapter, I really liked it.
6798948 That seems to be the consensus.
I don't care if you/I think/know if the begging is crap. Keep going! At least write on new chapter for every one you rewrite. Don't punish yourself. You're not trying to publish this in print.
Avast tali's ass!
6799050 Except I do kind of view this story as practice for something I do plan to sell. But at the moment I'm a little stumped shuffling some already written chapters to improve the pacing issues. Does your offer still stand to offer aid?
6799061 Hold your horses... pun intended. Not till next chapter.
6799069 speaking of that i forgot what was the name of the mare that met him in the bathroom so when will she arrive?
6799068
As long as you PM me with a specific question, I might be able to help you.
6799081 When I can figure out the chapter order.
This thought made us laugh the most, what if the mere action of him kissing twilight sparkle changes the future? Because she would have been a virginal nerd pie. where that kiss may cause minor changes such as suckling on lollipops or things with her lips while thinking of Thomas, it would be even more funny if she set aside some personal studies of Thomas (as a human species) and more personally learned habits as he's likely earned her full attention since in a way he's taken an interest in her by kissing her lips, also perhaps stories about a special somepony kissing another to wake them from some sleeping curse may have been likely read.
(because she loves reading and magic.)
Also it would be horrifying if say her friends lived vicariously through her or tried setting them up together maybe even joined, because pinkie is outright feeling horrible about what she did and he became a hero in saving others smiles and her friend's little sister. (who she may or may not already call AJ a cousin.) Then there is Applejack who besides Apple bloom have the most to thank him for, can anyone say 'honorary apple' and likely have a enamored possible jailbait age still filly interested in him too? Well perhaps for a few more years at least. Also we'd think journalists would want word or interviews with the human hero of Ponyville, there could also be photos of him taking a kiss on Twilight's lips with more scandalous titles of 'Is the human planning to seduce Princess Celestia's Student to Luna and her night court?!' or some such, there may even be some papers reporting what pinkie had screamed out too maybe. though that could take time because of local editions there plus ponies traveling by train to other places etc.
6799390 You have successfully given me ideas on how to improve on 2 plot lines and even predicted another. Congrats.
6799498 Our vast collective mind is often spinning in different directions, but if this moment hast improved thy future works. Let it be done, also it would be scary with Twilight Sparkle taking romantic interest in anyone. Thou should know how thorough she can get or detailed about anything she studies, we wouldn't even be surprised if she soon had a 'theorized' rough chart of the places on his body compared to ponies to stimulate him. (since she has lived at the castle for years most likely having read several anatomy books, also she may likely wish to *study* his physical features for medical reasons. Yes, because that is 'all' she would openly say about that to others.)
Also we wish to point out a tail flick from the bottom of the chin is a dead sign of 'I love you' in pony as flirting gestures. Perhaps one of the things Luna has done to him a few times before starting to say 'I love you' openly to him, which certain other ponies may do later on if daring enough.
6799546 Medical reasons indeed.
However, there is a complication of tail to face. In normal pony fan fics, the tail isn't far below the head, thus granting a degree of deniability, making the gesture more romantic and subtle. With anthros, there's really no excuse. If tail touches face, there's no way it could be accidental.
That was a awesome read it was funny and sweet .It was awesome for them to throw them a party like that.
6798886 Also, as much as I enjoyed Cadence giving Blueblood an offscreen bitch slap that reduced him to tears I have to ask a question. What did Blueblood do this time to make Cadance get violent enough that Shining Armor had to restrain her?
6799938 While theoretically possible, illusions only work when you know what you're trying to make is supposed to look like. So unless they're willing to go through trial and error, or perhaps Thomas opens his mind, there's no way for Luna to know what a female human looks like.
Beginning to wonder if Cadance is still the target for Chrysalis to replace after Thomas's involvement. I wouldn't be surprised if he or one of Luna's herd were the new target.
6800289 I think it's more fun to leave that to the imagination.
6800345 I'm afraid that's classified.
Buck the Kraken ! Release the Cadance !! XD
To bad she didn't broke Blue Balls into pieces.
Well, Thomas had his cute moment. X)
Loved the vicious and endless circle of him blushing and mares cooing. ( and stallions ? 8D )
Oh yeah, that could be fun ! A stallion sincerly in love with Thomas ! XD
Poor human. X)
Well, I bet I'm not the only one, but I'm eagger to see sexy anthro Chrysalis make a big mess at the wedding with her greenish slime !
Anyway, she can slime me anytime ! 8D
6800362 Perfectly understandable. Mysteries make things more enjoyable anyway!
6800442 Much appreciated.
Any clip clop soonish?
a good chapter I like it. at the same time I am wondering. what’s say we head back to Moonbutt’s room to break in your latest herd-mate?”
who is it??
time will tell.
I think that should be 'contented'.
Also I'm a bit confused on who Talon is talking about with that last exchange.
6802320 Talon... obviously. They've been talking about it for several chapters, including this one.
6802854 Thanks for the catch. Also, herself. She's talking about herself.
6803600 Ah.
This is very fun. Plenty of errors but I consider it flavor text. Do your thing and have fun. I'll continue to read and enjoy.
6806820 Errors? I don't like the sound of there being plenty. Any you'd be willing to point out?
6806995 I read on my phone. It is not good for pointing out errors. If I read on my PC I could copy paste sections and suggest corrections. From what I have seen they have been very minor. Nothing that detracts too much. My inner grammer devil wakes up but not enough to cause harm or take away from the flow.
Thanks for writing! I appreciate reading it.
6810869 My inner anal retentive would be most grateful if you pointed a few out.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Might I request as to when the next 44 chapters are due for release?
6821404 I try to post one every Monday. You can actually see that I've been posting pretty consistently by looking at the statistics.
6821436 Thank you for answering so quickly...but in my defence I only just started reading about 2.5 hours ago (plus I'm a little buzzed). And might I say that it's quite a story. Top notch ol' chap.
I think the period after "Moonlight" would work better as a comma. Luna doesn't really strike me as the type to. Speak. Like. Shatner.
And so did Thomas know what true terror felt like. For there is little in the world that can match the scorn of a protective older brother.
Though even from the line I can tell Shining is semi-joking about it.
This should be "they".
Should be "It won't." Though I don;t expect Talon to ever change nor do I ant her to. I like her just the way she is.
Probably should add in "he read" before the comma. And maybe block quote the letter.
Great chapter, time to move on to the next one.
7023121 Happy to have you back and thanks for the catches. "I won't" is meant to be that way as Talon is saying that she won't change.
Also, role reversal means that Shining is protective of his younger sibling, but less than you're probably thinking.
Is Blueblood still secretly a good guy?
7787543 Yes. He just likes to get on people's nerves.
7788916 Blue balls is a little masochistic.
Had he not heard of reality tv before leaving Earth?
Obviously.
Etched? Etching is indentations to draw a picture, which (while possible I suppose) is a rather odd way to do frosting.
Captain Jack Harkness knows where the note came from.
What. Who ... who does that?
*naught
Comma after 'ear.'
8119669 Thomas never cared for reality TV. He preferred more realistic things, like My Little Pony.