Thomas, a human, has appeared in the magical land of Equestria, though it is much different from the show. Ponies of this world are all anthros. What's more, Thomas has been assigned as Princess Luna's royal concubine.
Thomas, a human and fan of a certain popular cartoon, has appeared in the magical land of Equestria, though it is much different from the show. Ponies of this world are all anthros, very tall anthros, and they don't normally wear clothing. The history of this world is much the same as it is on the show, though different in a number of key areas. What's more, Thomas has been assigned as Princess Luna's royal concubine.
Hijinks ensue.
Also, because so few people are catching on to this, the main character has depression along with symptoms of autism.
Featured 12/14/15 you guys kick several of the ass. Also, on 7/4/16, and you guys are still awesome. And again on 6/12/17. And yet again on 5/27/19. And yet again-again on 1/27/19. And yet again again again on 2/24/20. Once more on 3/30/20. Surprisingly, also on 8/3/21. And once again on 9/6/21. Still again on 3/7/22. And wow, on 4/4/22, too. And, surprisingly, on 9/5/22. And starting off a new year on 2/6/23. And a-freaking-gain on 12/4/23.
Thomas groaned wearily. Everything hurt, especially his head. The floor was carpeted with a soft material. After regaining his senses, he looked around to see he was in the room of someone who must have really liked purple. The drapes, carpet, walls and even sheets on the exceptionally large bed were all different shades of purple. He looked out the open window and saw the moon slowly rising in the evening sky.
Thomas wondered how long he’d been out. The last thing he remembered was picking out cereal at the grocery store. It was a little before noon then. He tried to move a bit, but whatever he’d just gone through left his legs wobbly.
Suddenly the large doors flung open. Someone yelled “seize him!” and Thomas was hurled across the room and pressed against the wall. When he recovered his senses, Thomas looked down to see two large spears pointed directly at his throat. The wielders of the spears were two large men in dark blue armor.
Before Thomas could ask any questions, his eyes focused on movement over by the doors. Cautiously he looked up to behold a stunning sight. It was an exceptionally large woman with dark violet skin wearing an even darker dress. She wore a metal necklace engraved with the crest of the moon. Her hair sparkled with starlight and seemed to wave on its own off to the side. She seemed to have another bit of hair flowing behind her, though it looked to be coming from her backside. Her face was elongated like that of a horse and she had a horn sticking out of her forehead. She stepped gracefully in Thomas’ direction. Her expression was cold and her eyes held the weight of authority.
Then Thomas’ eyes fell on the black splotch on her exposed thigh which also held a crescent moon. In that instant Thomas realized where he was and who he was looking at.
Large wings spread behind her back to make her look more imposing as she spoke in a bellowing voice. “TELL US WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING HERE!”
For a moment, Thomas had almost forgotten his own name. “I don’t know,” he stuttered fearfully as his mind raced to make sense of the situation.
The purple woman regarded Thomas thoughtfully. Her horn, which he’d just now noticed had been glowing, slowly went dark as Thomas slid down to the floor in a sitting position. Though the guards kept their spears trained on him. “WE ASK AGAIN, WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Even though her voice was still booming, it seemed to have been muted slightly.
“Uh, my name is Thomas. And I don’t know what I’m doing here,” he insisted honestly.
The purple woman raised an eyebrow. “DOST THOUGH EXPECT US TO BELIEVE IT POSSIBLE TO CIRCUMVENT THE HEAVIEST SECURITY IN THE LAND AND BREACH THE ROYAL BED CHAMBERS OF PRINCESS LUNA... ALL BY ACCIDENT?”
“Um…” Thomas hesitated. “Maybe?” It was clear that this was not the answer she was looking for. “Look I’m sorry, Princess. I honestly don’t know how I got here. One minute I was buying groceries and the next I’m here. I didn’t mean to slip by security or anything. The last thing I remember was this swirling black vortex and suddenly…”
“Black vortex?” Luna cut him off, now speaking in a relatively normal voice. She waved her hand and the guards retracted their spears and stood at attention. Even with their helmets down, it was clear they were giving Thomas a death glare. “Stand,” the purple woman commanded.
Thomas did so as quickly as he dared so as not to startle the men with spears. Once Thomas had stood to full height, he suddenly realized just how tall Luna was. She must have been at least 8 feet high, not counting the horn. She seemed to look down at Thomas from between her breasts, which he just realized were an exceptional size. He squirmed uncomfortably beneath the weight of her gaze.
“What are you?” Luna asked as she leaned in to get a better look.
Thomas did his best not to stare at her breasts. “I… I’m a human.”
Luna’s ears twitched as she tilted her head inquisitively. “Human?”
“Do you know what that is?” Thomas asked, trying to calm things down.
“We have only heard of such creatures in legend,” Luna explained. “There are stories that date back to before the formation of the Equestrian nation, but we have encountered no evidence that such creatures exist. So tell me, Thomas was it, how a creature of legend came to find himself in our bedroom?”
“Like I said, there was that weird vortex that sucked me in and suddenly I was here.” Thomas went into greater detail of what the vortex looked like.
Luna stroked her chin ponderously. “Your description reminds us of something Celestia had been working on with dear Starswirl: a portal to another universe.”
“A portal?” Thomas was surprised at first, but it made sense. Now that he was calming down, he realized that the woman standing before him was indeed the Princess from the show he had enjoyed for several years now. However, she was humanoid, an anthro, not a pony. Quick glances at the guards showed they were also anthros. They had hooves in back, but they were gripping their spears with hands. While armor covered most of their bodies, their hips were bare, exposing their cutie marks for all to see. This may have been Equestria, but not the same one from the show.
“Yes. A portal,” Luna signaled her guards to lower their weapons and stand down as she continued. “Our sister tells us that she and Starswirl created many such devices that linked to other worlds. However, they learned that sometimes tears can open randomly without a stable door. Such events actually happen quite often, but usually high in the sky or deep underground where no pony notices. It is rare for a portal to occur at ground level and even rarer for some pony to fall in.”
“What does that mean for me?” Thomas asked worriedly.
Luna folded her arms and spoke solemnly. “It means that since we do not know where you came from, it is next to impossible to send you back.”
“Oh. I see,” Thomas lowered his head as realization donned upon him. He couldn’t go home. He’d never see his family again. He was trapped.
Again Luna’s ear flicked at the sight of the young human looking so pitiful. She reached under his chin and lifted his face to meet hers. She smiled warmly. “Do not fret, young Thomas. We shall go to Celestia and see what we can gleam from the notes of dear Starswirl. In the meantime…” she paused to consider her next choice of words, “we shall take you into our care as one of our servants.”
Thomas stirred in the bed as a soft hand gently nudged his shoulder. “Time to wake up, Thomas.” A feminine voice instructed sweetly. He opened his eyes and smiled up at the dark blue furred face of Princess Luna.
“Don’t wanna,” Thomas complained as he pulled the covers over his head to block out the offensive light of the setting sun. The maids who had opened the curtains to reveal that monstrosity giggled at his discomfort, but otherwise remained still while awaiting orders.
Luna frowned a moment. “DOST THOU DARE REFUSE AN ORDER FROM THINE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT!?” She spoke in the Royal Canterlot Voice, practically blowing Thomas out of the bed.
Once his ears stopped ringing, Thomas looked up to get his bearings. Sitting beside him was the lovely, 8 foot alicorn Princess Luna. She was in her royal transparent sleeping gown which gave a generous view of her ample bosom. She smirked down at the young man as he pulled himself up. "Do you have to do that every time?" He asked.
"Only whenst thou refuses to awaken on command." Luna held her chin up high and extended a hand to look more authoritative. Though she only succeeded in making her bedfellow chuckle.
"You're worse than any alarm clock I've ever owned," Thomas complained with faux annoyance. Truth be told, there was no better way to wake up than lying beside the most gorgeous woman/pony in the entire world. His sleepy eyes lingered a bit on the Princess’ form. Even sitting she was still considerably taller than him. In fact, he was at eye level with her breasts, which suited him just fine. Her fur glistened beneath the final rays of sunlight which almost gave her the appearance of glowing. Even her bedhead was a sight to behold as it lay limply behind her without the spell to make it wave about.
“Ya know, you kind of look like Maneiac from the comics when you wake up,” Thomas observed. Luna recognized the reference and immediately applied the spell to her mane, causing its sparkling strands to flow and dance about like a band of snakes. Thomas couldn’t help but laugh, much to Luna’s appreciation.
"We shall take that as a compliment. Now get dressed. Today promises to be most eventful," Luna commanded.
"At once, my Princess," Thomas said half-heartedly.
It had been three months since Thomas had mysteriously appeared in Luna's chambers. After the initial awkwardness and the Princess’ claiming of him as one of her servants, she took him to Celestia to see if there was anything the sun Princess could do to help. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do. As Luna theorized, a random tear in reality could not be tracked. And while there were stable portals in the castle’s basement, some of which leading to human worlds, none lead to the right one. Thomas was stranded in Equestria.
Thankfully, that was the end of the sad part. Princess Luna, sympathizing with Thomas’ feelings of loneliness, made him her personal attendant. He helped her dress, carried her bags when she went out shopping, served her tea during meetings, and on a few occasions washed her back while she bathed. The pair spent a lot of time talking and soon grew quite fond of one another. She said that it was easy for her to feel open with him and he returned the sentiment. Eventually, Luna decided the best way to reward Thomas’ friendship was with a promotion.
Life was pretty good as a royal concubine. The food was good since good health was crucial to your job performance. The boss was absolutely amazing and always attended ‘employee’s’ needs. The hours were a bit random since ‘the mood’ could strike Luna at any moment and Thomas was expected to be on constant standby, but the pay wasn’t anything to scoff at either. The only thing Thomas couldn’t really comment on were his coworkers, since he didn’t really have any.
It had not been long since Princess Luna had been freed from Nightmare Moon. In that time, Celestia had been working close with her sister to restore her house to proper order. The first matter of importance was Luna’s house guard, which filled out quite quickly thanks to a few brave volunteers. From there, various castle servants were reassigned to Luna’s wing of the castle as her personal staff. She had everything from maids, to private chefs, and even a cute unicorn mare for a secretary named Attentive Eye. Luna even got to pick out all their uniforms so everyone would be able to distinguish between them and Celestia’s staff.
But until Thomas came along; neither sister realized that they had both overlooked one of the Princess’ most important needs. It was a failure the young man was made most aware of every day as the Princess used his body to quench a lust that hadn’t been properly sated in a thousand years.
Regardless, Thomas now held the honorable position of Senior Concubine in Princess Luna’s royal harem; sort of like the head maid or Staff Sergeant. It turns out that prostitution was viewed as an honest profession and nothing to be ashamed of. Some ponies just had the talent; though this particular talent was among the more rare categories, not nearly as common as the various kinds of chefs, gardeners, builders, magicians, athletes, or other professions. However, how ponies figured out this was their special talent when most ponies got their cutie marks in grade school was suspiciously glossed over whenever the subject came up. All in all, apparently royal concubine was the aspiration of all those in Thomas’ profession. But despite these assurances, it still didn’t stop him from feeling embarrassed at his title.
Thomas’ uniform, which oddly he was required to wear at all hours except when actually working, was an indigo cloth loincloth emblazoned with Luna’s cutie mark on the front, and nothing else. According to Sun Dancer, Celestia’s Senior Concubine, the uniform was meant to show the world that everything within it was the property of the Princess.
As his peer, Thomas often went to Sun Dancer for advice. An older unicorn mare, she’d been in service to Princess Celestia for over fifty years, yet amazingly her body looked like it was just pushing thirty. Apparently life as a royal concubine had other benefits in the long term. Her uniform was a white loincloth emblazoned with Celestia’s cutie mark on the front, and nothing else. Thomas hadn't gotten to know the rest of Celestia's concubines, save for Talon the female griffon who had taken a liking to him because he also ate meat. There were eight mares, three stallions, a male and female diamond dog, a male minotaur, the fore mentioned female griffon, and a few more members he’d never actually seen but was assured existed.
With much effort, Thomas eventually managed to pull himself out of bed, though his nudity did make him hesitate before fully removing the covers. It wasn’t like Luna hadn’t been exploring his body thoroughly for a few weeks now, and the maids weren’t seeing anything new, but the young man still couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about exposing himself. It didn’t help that, as far as his new sleep schedule was concerned, this was technically morning, meaning he was standing at full attention.
“Doth something trouble thee, my little human?” Luna asked as she loomed overhead and cast a shadow over her servant. Somehow in the time it took to walk around her royal bed, the Princess had managed to completely straighten her mane so that she no longer looked like Medusa. Her standing at full height gave Thomas a full view of her exceptional hour glass figure that looked like it was sculpted by the gods themselves. She had curves in all the right places, though not so much as her elder sister who had a fondness for sweets that went straight to her plot, as the ponies say. Her tail waved majestically behind her, just above her own wonderful plot. Luna’s body was much more athletic than her sisters, made obvious by her well-toned abs. She grinned playfully when she saw the source of the dilemma.
Before Thomas could say a word, Luna bent over to close the distance between them and pressed her lips against his. The human returned his Princess’ affection, tasting the lemony flavor of her lips. Thomas asked why Luna’s lips tasted like his favorite flavor, but she dismissed the question. The kiss ended almost as quickly as it began, leaving the human to let out a short complaining whine as his lover fluttered her eyelids teasingly.
“You sure you want them to watch?” Thomas asked as he turned his attention to the three maids by the window, still standing and awaiting orders, but giggling like school fillies as they stared. The three mares were Midnight Chain the dark blue unicorn, Starry Sky the light blue pegasus, and Lunar Stone the dark purple earth pony. They were Princess Luna’s personal attendants and had been in her service since the beginning. Like him, they were among those lucky enough to be considered Luna’s friends, though they tended to be much more professional about it. He’d asked them if they thought it curious that all their names had something to do with the night and they ended up in service to a Princess who’d been banished since before they were born, but they brushed it off as an amusing coincidence.
It was moments like these that left Thomas wondering if he had an exceptional level of perception compared to other ponies.
“Why?” Luna asked mischievously. “Art thou embarrassed?” Luna knew that Thomas was easily embarrassed, especially regarding things like nudity or letting other ponies in on what he and Luna did. Let it never be said that Luna is not a generous lover, but she also has her sadistic side. One of her favorite pass times would be to put her little human in compromising situations and watch him squirm.
“A little,” Thomas confessed.
“Pay them no mind, my little human. This is strictly between thee and we.” Luna’s sensual voice erased the outside world and left her as the only thing for Thomas to focus on. He didn’t even notice that Luna had waved the mares away so they could have a bit of privacy. The moon Princess was bent at a near perfect 90 degree angle with her bare plot exposed for the entire world to see. As a Princess, Luna usually wore a fair amount of clothing, making this a rare sight to behold.
Luna lowered herself to her knees while placing her soft hands upon his legs and parted them gently. Thomas stared in silent awe as the large mare leaned in close and began nuzzling his manhood affectionately, teasing it with the occasional lick. Thomas glanced over at yesterday’s uniform on the night stand and remembered what the moon on the front symbolized. His junk, and by extension the rest of his body, was the property of Princess Luna. The thought of being property, even if only figuratively, always left him feeling a little uneasy, but the loving attention Luna was currently paying her property melted all discomfort away.
Luna arched her back and instinctively bobbed her bottom up in the air as she continued to tease her boy toy. She assaulted Thomas’ member with wave after wave of teasing kisses, forcing him to let out a grunt in frustration. Her left hand moved up to gently massage his testicles while her right hand disappeared somewhere between her own legs. Finally she pulled back. Her mouth hung open longingly as she glanced up at her concubine. His expression pleaded for her not to stop. She smiled at the power she held over her servant, and not just because she was his boss.
Sometime later, Celestia would confess to Thomas that it was actually her idea to make him Luna’s first concubine in a thousand years. Luna had been so timid in those early days that she had completely forgotten that she had been one of the most desired mares in all of Equestria, perhaps even more so than her sister. And as expected, her time with Thomas had reminded her of who she was and done wonders for her self-esteem.
Finally the moon Princess lowered her mouth onto the main event. Thomas let out a gasp of surprise and joy as he felt his shaft enter the familiar confines of Luna’s maw. Her tongue danced expertly across his shaft each time it entered its domain. It took all his strength not to put his hands on her head and just let the expert do her work. The moon Princess’ practice was paying off as she made her little human moan. He looked down to see she was still smirking between bobs. The vibrations of her mouth as she moaned only intensified the bolts of pleasure running through Thomas.
Warmth spread through Thomas’ whole body as he began to feel a pressure build in his loins. “I… I’m gonna…”
That was all the warning Luna needed as she began to double and then triple her pace, furiously attacking her concubine’s cock with her tongue and lips. There was a hungry look in her eyes as she pumped him for all he was worth while not forgetting to attend her own burning loins. This thing in her mouth belonged to her and she was going to enjoy it.
“Aghhh!” Thomas exclaimed as he thrust forward while arching his back in the bed and came in the Princess’ mouth. Though his vision was blurred and mind still hazy from delight, he heard Luna give an audible gulp followed by a satisfied sigh.
“Not to speak ill of tea,” Luna began, “but thine seed is a most excellent wake up treat.”
“Always happy to be… of service,” Thomas said between breaths.
“Hmm,” Luna said skeptically as she poked gently at her lover’s glistening yet flaccid penis. “A pity,” she frowned in disappointment. “It appears that while ye might be happy, thine little soldier is unable to meet his Princess’ call to action.”
Thomas looked down in horror to see that he was in fact limp as a piece of wet spaghetti. “In my defense,” Thomas insisted after such a jab to his pride, “you worked the little guy half to death yesterday.” The concubine pointed to the mattress behind him, particularly the stains of sweat and other fluids.
Luna stood to her full height and followed Thomas’ finger. “So it is,” she smiled in satisfaction.
“And he’s not that little,” Thomas added defensively. “But if you’d like, maybe we could have a bath together, I could wash your fur, and we’d just see what happens,” he finished leadingly. “I mean, it doesn’t necessarily have to be anything kinky. I could just wash your back like in the old days, maybe give you a little massage.”
“We are most grateful for your enthusiasm to serve us, my little human, and that does sound lovely,” Luna tilted her head in a small bow while her face was adorned with an appreciative smile. “However, if thou recalls, we said that today is to be most eventful.” She snapped her fingers and the maids returned to the room and rushed to the Princess’ side where they promptly removed Luna’s rather sticky night gown. Why anyone wore pajamas or sleepwear of any sort in a clothing-optional society was a mystery the human had yet to crack.
Since no pony came to help him, Thomas casually walked over to the dresser with his spare uniforms. He caught the maids sneaking glances at his manhood, but the afterglow from Luna’s wake up ritual had left him unable to care. “So what exactly counts as eventful for the night court?” Thomas asked as he slipped on what was little more than a banana hammock. “I know you don’t get this excited for regular meetings with the nobles and I’m pretty sure there aren’t any dignitaries or parties any time soon.”
“How dost thou know of our schedule?” Luna inquired as stepped into her personal bathroom. She motioned for the maids to follow her inside, though they left the door open. Thomas walked across the room and leaned leisurely in the door way and watched as his Princess stepped into the tub and begin her shower. The maids quickly stripped off their frilly maid uniforms to reveal bathing suits beneath, another mystery, and followed her in; because obviously a Princess wasn’t expected to bathe herself.
Thomas didn’t answer right away; instead taking the time to just stare at the moon Princess as hot mineral water washed across her beautiful body. Luna’s private bathroom was roughly the size of a small house with a large fountain in the center spraying water out in small waterfalls. Surrounding the fountain was a large pool that, at its deepest, came up to the bottom of Luna’s breasts and to the top of Thomas’ head. Near the entrance was a transitory room with the standard bathroom fixtures of sinks, toilets, and even a small shower area for quick scrubs.
Each of the attendants in bathing suits grabbed sponges and wash-cloths and began scrubbing the Princess’ body. The concubine smirked as he saw the mares try sneaking glances of Luna’s body while she pretended not to notice. Of course she noticed. She knew she was attractive and attention like this was to be expected. However, while the attendants did not shy away from Luna’s more sensitive areas, they maintained their professionalism and avoided giving them any undue sensitive attention. After all, that wasn’t their job, it was his. “Attentive Eye gave me a copy of the schedule. She says I have to report to her every week to get the updated copy.”
“Interesting,” Luna said flatly as the pegasus mare opened the alicorn’s left wing and began gently dabbing the feathers with a sponge. “And why did our secretary see fit to do this?”
“You remember that incident a couple weeks ago with the emissaries from Prance,” Thomas said as more of a statement than a question.
“We recall,” the moon Princess averted her gaze in embarrassment. Of course she remembered. There was no way any one would forget that.
“Oh, I heard about that,” Midnight Chain spoke up. “Wasn’t that where the two of you…”
“Ahem.” A subtle cough from Luna quickly silenced the unicorn mare. “Pray tell, dearest Midnight, where didst thou hear of such things?”
The unicorn shifted her eyes suspiciously. “Just… around. You know how rumors get,” she offered assuredly.
“What was this about the Prench emissaries?” Starry Skies inquired. “I never heard any rumors. Was it something juicy? Oh, no pony ever tells me any-ow.” The pegasus flinched as Midnight Chain gave her ears a firm smack. “What?”
Midnight Chain tilted her head up to indicate Luna’s disapproval while Starry Skies’ eyes widened in realization. The Princess in question merely rolled her eyes in annoyance, Lunar Stone giggled at the silliness of it all, and Thomas just shook his head in amusement of the whole thing.
“I think they want to know,” Thomas suggested teasingly. This was revenge for all the times Luna embarrassed him.
Luna took a breath to compose herself before speaking in a calm and regal manner. “As Midnight Chain has alluded, rumors can be wild and uncontrollable. It would be a futile effort to try and quell them and tis likely that even the truth won’t be believed. As such, we neither confirm nor deny any such rumors thou might have heard.”
“She was totally sitting on him the whole time,” Lunar Stone whispered.
“Anyway!” Luna barked to try and get matters back on track. “Thomas, thou hast been working most diligently for fifteen days straight,” the Princess recounted. “The event of which we speak is that thou hast earned a day off.”
“Really?” Thomas inquired. “The big event is a day off?”
“Indeed,” Luna affirmed.
“That sounds nice and all,” Thomas began. “But my dad always used to say that if you found a job you loved, you’d never have to work another day in your life. And I think I got that.”
“Aww,” the mare attendants cooed.
“Be that as it may,” Luna continued with an appreciative grin. “Lady Attentive Eye says that if we work thee too hard for too many days straight, it may cause burn out. And based on recent evidence,” she gestured to Thomas’ now covered crotch, “it seems we have acted just in the nick of time. So we have passed a decree that our concubines are to have two days off every week.”
“Did you really need to pass a decree for that?” Thomas cringed.
“Dearest, Thomas,” Luna tilted her head curiously. “Arst thou embarrassed of thy royal duties to serve thy Princess?”
“No. Of course not,” Thomas insisted. “Well, maybe it’s still a little weird to be called a concubine.”
“Wouldst thou prefer consort?” Luna suggested.
“Yes actually. Also, it just seems a little unnecessary to go through the trouble of making a decree over what I’m pretty sure can be solved in a scheduling memo.”
Luna smirked as she stepped out of the tub with the attendants in swimwear following close behind. “Thine words are taken directly from the lips Lady Attentive.” She said coyly as she walked passed her little human to the middle of the room where the attendants began dressing her.
“So what’d you do?” Thomas asked as he stepped into the bath and grabbed a spare sponge, dabbing it around his body while he watched through the open door. The maids had formed something akin to a supply line between Luna and the closet with her royal gowns.
“We stood gallantly in our office, our hoof extended in awe inspiring glory,” Luna held out her hand for emphasis, “and we made the decree anyway because that sort of thing is fun.” The moon Princess spoke with such proud authority that she nearly slipped into the Royal Canterlot Voice, much to the amusement of her current audience. “And then Lady Attentive wrote a memo and had her assistants amend it to the schedule.”
Thomas stepped out of the bath and smiled up at his Princess. “I love the way you can take something as dull as a schedule change and make it sound so grand.”
Luna smiled back at Thomas and affectionately cupped his cheek in her hand. “And we love the way thou lov'st our endeavors to ameliorate dull tasks.”
A friendly laugh was shared all around. Luna tended to be rather quiet around strangers, so it felt heartwarming to see her open up. This was especially true between her and Thomas as they had engaged in much pillow talk after his ‘work sessions’. If the Princess hadn’t been reminded of the fact that she’d been sex starved for a millennium, she might have adopted him as her nephew or something. But never mind that awkward line of thinking. Life was good as it was.
“But tell us, dearest Thomas,” Luna continued. “Thou hast said that thee has received a schedule from Lady Attentive already, so how didst thou not know about thine day off?”
Thomas puzzled at this question. “It was actually one of her assistants who gave me the schedule. I think it was that earth mare, Silver Specs. The schedule she gave me was actually yours.”
Luna raised an eyebrow at this. “And thou did'st not find this suspicious?”
Thomas shrugged. “I figured that since you pretty much have me follow you around all day anyway, that giving me a separate schedule wasn’t worth the paper.”
Luna scowled at this. “We suspect Lady Attentive will have words for this Silver Specs for such a grievous misstep.”
“It wasn’t that big of a deal, was it?”
“It most certainly was,” Midnight Chain asserted. “It is basic procedure that all members of the castle staff are to only receive their own schedules, but none are more important than the Princesses’. What if Luna’s daily routine were to fall in the wrong hooves, like the paparazzi, an assassin, or worst yet, a fan-mare?” The three mare attendants shivered in terror at such a frightening thought.
“Ah,” Thomas nodded understandingly. This is one of those cases where I’d best just smile and nod. Any explanation on why fan-mares were worse than assassins would probably just end up being more confusing.
“What’s more,” Luna added. “It doth seem strange that Attentive’s words would find themselves so precisely upon thy lips. Could it be that thy lips have wandered to the visage of our faithful secretary?” she asked suggestively.
It took Thomas a moment to piece together what she had said. “Nope,” he shook his head firmly, denying the accusation of kissing someone other than the Princess. “No wandering lips here.”
Luna’s ears drooped a bit. “We see,” she said disappointedly. “Pity.”
“Why is that a pity?” Thomas asked. “I mean, shouldn’t it be expected that I only be loyal to you?”
“Of course not!” Luna said with a level of offense no pony was expecting. “Thou art not our slave. Thou art our faithful servant and a citizen of Equestria. The guards are our loyal protectors and would give their lives in our defense, but they are allowed friends and family with whom they also share loyalties.”
Their work completed, the attendants stepped away from the Princess who was now wearing a regal black and violet gown with transparent starry trim. The whole thing was very form fitting and did wonderfully to accentuate her curves. She was also wearing her crown, the necklace engraved with her cutie mark, and a pair of golden earrings.
Luna then walked over to Thomas and put her hand on his shoulder. “Tis unhealthy to devote thyself to the attentions of a single pony. On that, thou can'st trust us, Thomas. Dost thou understand?”
“I think so,” Thomas nodded, realizing that the way she spoke his name meant she was being serious. She’s probably referring to the feelings of jealousy and inadequacy that lead to Nightmare Moon. Probably not much risk of me trying to bring about everlasting night, but she does have a point about it being unhealthy.
Luna smiled as she looked down at him. “Wonderful. So, on thy day off, thou art expected to go forth and have a life outside of work. Perhaps even ask if Lady Attentive might be interested in dinner.”
“I don’t think she’ll be up for it,” Lunar Stone offered. “I hear her barn door don’t swing that way.”
“Ah,” Luna nodded. “She is, as you ponies say today, a filly fooler?”
Lunar Stone nodded.
“Ponies, these days,” Luna rolled her eyes. “In any case, tis as thou saidst earlier, my little human. Thou art to begin thy first day of life in Canterlot away from our side. We wish thee the best of luck,” she nodded and left the room with her attendants in tow, each giving a friendly goodbye smile while Lunar Stone gave a wink. Before the door closed, there were rapid hoof steps as Luna poked her head back in the room. “And try not to do anything too extraneous. We want thee fully recharged when thou returnest to our service.”
And with that, the door closed, the sun set, and the moon rose.
Uncertain of exactly what to do, Thomas stood alone in Princess Luna’s chamber for a few minutes. The only routine he’d had for the last few months had been following Luna around like a lost puppy, always on standby for whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, which was pretty much every free moment she had between meetings. Otherwise he’d just sit off in the corner and read until he was needed. For the moment, he took the time to examine his current surroundings. The carpet, drapes, and even furniture were all various shades of purple to match the owner’s preferences and looked quite lovely beneath the light of her moon.
However, simply looking at Luna’s possessions reminded Thomas that he had no possessions of his own outside of his spare uniforms. And if he did, he didn’t have his own room to store them. He didn’t even have his own bed. At Luna’s command, he’d always shared hers. Even before his formal job assignment, he’d acted as her personal teddy bear and just snuggle her in the night. The more he thought about it, he actually hadn’t been anywhere or done anything without being escorted by Luna or some other pony. Simply being alone in this exceptionally large room left him feeling quite small and naked; and considering what he usually wore and who he usually wore it around, that was saying something.
“No!” Thomas said quietly to himself. “Luna’s right. I can’t live my whole life as some co-dependent little child. I need to go out there and live for myself,” he said as he stared at the large doors in front of him. “Just step out these doors and… do… something.” A growl from his stomach set the little human on his first task of the day. After another minute of demanding the door open under the power of his gaze alone, Thomas gave up and just pushed the thing open.
Even after living here for so long, the grand halls of the castle never failed to impress. Thomas always felt so small, even without all the amazonian ponies looming over him. This wing was dedicated to Luna, so the walls were decorated with tapestries depicting her cutie mark and even the guards wore the Princess’ colors. They might have fully melted into the background, were it not for the moonlight reflecting off their armor.
Thomas nodded respectfully at the guards standing outside Luna’s room and they returned the gesture. He still felt awkward around the guards, so stoic and intimidating. They were shorter than the Princess, but that still left them towering over him. Matters weren’t helped by the fact that they all probably weighed at least twice as much as he did from sheer muscle mass alone, even before their armor and weapons were factored in. Worse still, his slight pudge and scrawny body left him feeling rather inadequate compared to the sculpted frames of virtually every other pony he’d seen in the castle, especially the guards. On the plus side, they were some of the only ponies who saw fit to cover their private parts, which made sense on account of they had to wear armor to protect themselves. Though their armor did leave their cutie marks exposed. Probably to help tell each other apart.
Equestria was a clothing optional society with most ponies, and other creatures, preferring to go around naked. The nobility who frequented the castle often wore some fabrics. However, while the mares tended to wear full body dresses, the stallions typically only wore vests, meaning Thomas had the dissatisfaction of seeing a lot of pony junk flopping around. He knew he’d get used to it eventually, but he also knew that wouldn’t happen for some time to come.
But enough about that. Thomas was hungry and it was way past time for some breakfast so he headed down to the cafeteria, also commonly called chow hall, where the castle staff ate. Normally he ate with Princess Luna in the dining hall or her office since she’d been hesitant to let him leave her side. That was where he had most of his conversations with Sun Dancer and a few other members of Celestia’s harem. Until now he’d only seen chow hall from the outside and only a few times. As he made his way in what he was pretty sure was the right direction, he couldn’t help but notice the clopping of hoof steps behind him. He stopped, and so did they. Turning around, he jumped at the sight of one of Luna’s guards standing a mere three steps behind him. “Can I help you?”
The mare nodded. “I am Private First Class, Moonlight Shield. I have been assigned as your body guard.”
Thomas stared at her curiously. “Since when do I need a body guard? I mean, I’m just a concubine, er, consort,” he tried to say without sounding embarrassed. It was one thing when Luna called him as such, but the title still made him feel uncomfortable.
“You are Senior Concubine to Princess Luna,” Moonlight Shield responded. “I have been assigned to you because your station has great value to the Princess.”
Thomas studied the guard carefully. Moonlight Shield was a unicorn mare with dark orange fur, a red mane beneath her helmet, several inches taller than him (tall even by normal mare standards), blue eyes, lean muscle, and a silver shield with the moon at its center on her exposed hip. She spoke his title with a fair amount of respect and reverence, not unlike how one might refer to a pop star they liked. As Thomas’ gaze crawled along her body he eventually noticed that she has repeatedly averted her gaze from him, specifically from looking down below his navel at his loincloth.
“Why haven’t I ever seen you before?” He asked suspiciously.
Moonlight Shield hesitated for a moment. “I… I can assure you I have not been in dereliction of duty,” she insisted. “It’s just that every time before now when you’ve left Princess Luna’s room, it has always been in the company of the Princess. And just as her personal guards follow her around, I have followed you. You probably never noticed me among the other guards.”
“Makes sense, I guess,” Thomas conceded, only for his stomach to remind him what he was doing earlier. “I suppose you’re going to follow me to breakfast?”
“If that is where you’re heading, then yes I am,” she nodded a bit more confidently.
“Alright then,” Thomas nodded. “I was just heading to chow hall for some breakfast.”
“Sounds lovely,” Moonlight commented as her stomach growled, much to her embarrassment.
“I don’t suppose you’ve eaten yet,” Thomas offered.
“No, but it is no matter,” Moonlight assured. “I am your protector and…”
Thomas held up his hand to cut her off. “That sound is going to bug me all day. We’re going to chow hall anyway and I don’t know the way, so you might as well have something too.”
Moonlight looked like she wanted to argue, but another protest from her stomach made her see there was no point in resisting.
The pair walked on for a couple minutes before Thomas grew bored of the silence. “Why are you walking behind me?”
“A guard’s place is one step to the left and two steps back,” Moonlight explained. “This position is ideal for guarding our VIPs.”
Thomas rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m not comfortable with all this procedure and stuff. So do you think you could walk beside me so we can talk like normal people?”
“I think you meant to say ‘ponies’ there, Sir,” she pointed out.
Thomas fumed at the guard for catching his slip. That’d been one of the few areas of this culture he felt that he’d adjusted to fairly well. “Just walk beside me, will ya. And drop the ‘sir’ stuff. Just call me Thomas.”
Moonlight nodded and quickly stepped up to his side. “Very well… Thomas. In that case, if it makes you more comfortable, you can call me Moonlight. So, what did you want to talk about?”
“For one thing,” Thomas began. “Why do you say ‘ponies’ instead of ‘people’?”
“I don’t know,” Moonlight shrugged. “I guess it’s because we’re all ponies.”
“But you’re not,” Thomas insisted. “I haven’t been here that long, but I’ve seen donkeys, mules, zebras, griffons, and there was that little dragon a while back.” Thomas said referring to Spike’s recent visit.
Thomas knew the little dragon by name, but had refrained from divulging that information. Upon learning that he had knowledge of a world similar to theirs, Celestia had ordered him to keep such information a secret to all but the Princesses. They were both skeptical about how he knew about their world from a ‘cartoon’ on ‘television’, two words that were alien to the magical Princesses, but they still considered it worthy of caution. Unfortunately he wasn’t able to offer any specific dates, only the relative sequence of events. For instance, he knew that when Spike had visited, it was while Twilight was having her first slumber party, though he didn’t know why he was visiting. Frustratingly, this made planning around the big events all the more difficult. In fact, the more he thought about it, Thomas was certain that this knowledge was the real reason he was assigned his own guard since he’d never noticed one with Sun Dancer.
“Anyway, there are a bunch of non-ponies around here, but they all say stuff like ‘everypony’ even when referring to themselves. What’s the deal with that?”
“I can’t say Sir,” Moonlight conceded. “I never studied the history of language. I’m just here to guard your body,” she said with a half-smile.
“And what an interesting body you have to guard,” said a snobbish voice that made Thomas’ skin crawl. He turned around to see a white unicorn stallion wearing a bowtie and nothing else.
“Prince Blueblood,” Thomas forced a smile and bowed his head cordially. Moonlight mirrored the gesture. “I wasn’t expecting to see you at this time of night… your highness.”
“Yes, well…” Blueblood began while starring absentmindedly at his finger nails. “I had just gotten back from one of my many, many dates,” he said braggingly. “When who should I run into but Auntie Luna’s pet monkey.”
Thomas did his best not to flinch at that word. It wasn’t so much the word that upset him, but the utter contempt with which it was spoken. “I’m sorry, your highness, but I’m a human, not a monkey.”
“Potato, potato,” Blueblood spoke the second word differently. “You’re still my Auntie’s cute little butt slave.”
Thomas stomach turned. He couldn’t figure out if he was more insulted at Blueblood calling him a butt slave, or cute. The latter certainly left him queasier.
“Sir Thomas is Princess Luna’s Senior Concubine,” Moonlight Shield stepped forward defensively, much to the human’s gratitude.
“Indeed he is,” Blueblood trailed off. “Which I can’t help but find quite odd.”
Against his better judgement, Thomas asked “What’s so odd about that?”
“Besides the fact that you’re a tiny hairless ape,” Blueblood continued, “it is most puzzling that Luna is allowed a consort while Auntie Celestia has formally disbanded my own harem. So unfair,” he whined. “Luna hasn’t even been here a year and yet she’s allowed privileges that have been denied to me.”
Rumor had it that Blueblood’s old harem had made so many complaints to the pony rights department that Celestia decided that he needed to learn proper respect before he could be allowed a harem. The Prince, to the surprise of no pony, instead started dating a series of mares from Canterlot and learned absolutely nothing. Regardless, there seemed no point in pointing out why Luna, co-ruler of the country, should have more privileges than the stuck up snob of a Prince who did absolutely nothing productive. It’d likely go in one ear and come out the other anyway.
Thomas cringed as he felt the Prince’s eyes crawl over his body, while he did his best not to look at the admittedly large stallionhood dangling between Blueblood’s legs, or the body he’d gone to great lengths to keep in shape. If there was one thing Blueblood really cared about, it was his appearance. “Is there something I can do for you, my Prince?”
“Hmm,” Blueblood pondered before smiling as an idea came to him. “You can meet me in my chambers in, let’s say, half an hour.”
“Pardon?” Thomas said, taken aback.
“Ugh,” the Prince groaned. “Must I truly repeat myself? I said that you are to meet me in my chambers in half an hour. You are quite the exotic specimen and I am curious what Auntie Luna sees in you,” he said as he began walking off. “Remember, half an hour. Do not be late,” he concluded with a friendly wave.
When the Prince finally disappeared from sight, Thomas remained flabbergasted. “Did that just happen?”
“If you mean the Prince soliciting you for sex, then it would seem so,” Moonlight Shield said in an equally stunned voice.
“Can he even do that? I mean,” Thomas indicated his loincloth, “don’t I sorta belong to Princess Luna?” I don’t much care for being property, but I’ll take Luna’s butt slave over anything involving Blueblood any day of the week.
“Technically it is your day off,” Moonlight shrugged uncomfortably.
“Are you seriously suggesting I let myself get plowed by that…” Thomas stopped himself at seeing some nearby maids and butlers.
“Stuck up snob of a Prince with a silver spoon shoved so far up his flank that he couldn’t possibly relate to any pony ever?” Moonlight suggested, eliciting snickers from the nearby staff.
Thomas stood stunned for a moment. “Did you just…”
“Everypony in the castle knows who Blueblood is,” she answered plainly with a smirk.
Thomas smiled approvingly. “Well that’s nice and all, but that doesn’t change the fact that the Prince just asked me to his chambers.”
“Hmm,” Moonlight pondered. “You are Luna’s concubine, so I’m pretty sure you need to ask her permission for this sort of thing. But on the other hoof, he is a Prince and that did sound like an order. If you don’t show up, he’ll definitely be angry with you.”
“Okay,” Thomas nodded. “But what exactly can he do?”
“You’re part of Princess Luna’s staff, so probably nothing directly,” Moonlight explained. “Though I have heard stories of the rather eccentric steps he’s taken to get back at ponies who’ve snubbed him. I guess it’s up to you. Besides, you don’t necessarily know if he wants you for sex. He could just want to talk.”
“You sure about this?” Moonlight Shield asked as she followed Thomas.
The human in question was walking as fast as he could in the direction he was fairly certain was opposite of Prince Blueblood’s quarters. “Hell yeah. Prince or not, there’s no way in Tartarus that I’d ever sleep with that prick.” Though angry, Thomas couldn’t help congratulating himself on how well he’d adjusted to Equestrian dialect. “Can we please talk about something else?”
“Like what?”
“Well… it’s been a while since I picked up a copy of the Equestria Daily. Anything happen in recent news?”
Moonlight thought a moment. “I heard this little town called Ponyville was nearly destroyed by an infestation of parasprites. That was a thing.”
“Really,” Thomas said in fake surprise while a smile touched his lips.
“Is something funny?”
“No, not really.” The truth was that this was one of the incidents he’d warned Celestia and Luna about. But based on his description, she seemed satisfied that the Element of Laughter would handle the situation and felt that her student needed to learn the lesson, though she had secretly sent in agents around the town’s outskirts just in case things got too out of control. “So what all happened?”
“There are these little bugs called parasprites that inhabit the Everfree Forest. All they do is eat and spit up copies of themselves. Normally the local predators keep their numbers in check, but one wandered into town and things got out of control really quickly. It seems Princess Celestia’s student tried a spell to stop them from eating all the food, because naturally the disaster would have to happen on the very day the Princess was due to visit the town, but the little buggers started literally eating the town instead. All seemed lost until the Element of Laughter slapped some instruments together and led them back to the Everfree in a parade. Oh, and it looks like we’re here.”
Thomas pushed open the doors to chow hall. Row after row of tables were lined up across the cafeteria with a line to the immediate right to the entrance. With his guard close behind, Thomas took his place in the short line and looked over what the chefs had to offer. A wide assortment of fruits and vegies was nice, but he needed some protein. “You wouldn’t happen to have any… meat, would you?” To Thomas’ relief, the chef didn’t grimace at the question and pointed further up the line. There he found the relatively tiny section devoted to the meat eaters of the castle staff. Thomas grabbed himself some sausage, eggs, and a few orange slices. Moonlight Shield got some hay bacon, a couple apples, and a bowl of oats.
The pair then set out to find some seats. The hall was relatively empty due to the fact that Luna’s night court was still being built and thus so much smaller than Celestia’s day court. Even though virtually everyone present was in Luna’s colors, be they guard, maid, or butler, Thomas still didn’t feel comfortable sitting with strangers. However, Thomas did catch a few ponies staring him, or rather his uniform. The stallions nodded in what was most likely a congratulatory “lucky bastard” sort of way, while the mares ate him up with their gaze, obviously curious what made him so appealing to the Princess. Thomas quickly reassured himself that what he did wasn’t anything to be embarrassed by, but he still quickly motioned towards one of the empty seats in the corner to escape the stares as quickly as possible. Moonlight followed silently. However, just as the pair were about to sit down, Thomas heard a thud and turned to see that Moonlight had been knocked to the floor. Before he could react, a pair of arms wrapped around his small frame and pulled him into a warm feathery embrace.
“Hey there, chimp,” a gravely yet feminine voice greeted as Thomas was squeezed tighter in the embrace, his face being buried into a pair of small, furry breasts.
“Talon?” Thomas asked as he struggled to look up. Sure enough, he was greeted by the friendly visage of Talon, Celestia’s griffon consort.
“What’d you just call me?” The griffon raised an eyebrow indignantly.
“Sorry, Tali,” Thomas smiled.
“That’s better. How’s it hanging, chimp.” Talon let Thomas’ feet touch the ground, but still held him in her claw-like hands as she smiled down at him. The griffon had crimson fur from her torso down, white feathers around her head had somehow pulled back into a pony tail (possibly to be ironic), yellow claws for hands, lion paws for feet instead of hooves, and dark red wings. Her relatively small breasts, which were just at eye level with Thomas, betrayed the fact that she most likely found the night air cold, or that she was happy to see him. Beneath her well-toned six-pack and above her child-bearing hips was a loincloth just like Thomas’, but emblazoned with Celestia’s sun instead of Luna’s moon.
“Unhand him you cur!” Moonlight Shield threatened as she stood in an aggressive stance with clenched fists and lit her horn in preparation for a spell.
“Ease up, guard pony,” Talon waved dismissively and pulled Thomas close to her side. “Me and chimp here go way back.”
“We’ve only known each other for like eight weeks,” Thomas pointed out.
Moonlight began to relax, but her horn remained lit.
“So? You’ve only been in Equestria a few months and somehow managed to worm your way into Princess Luna’s bed,” Talon teased. “It is not the quantity of time we spend together, but the quality. Besides, we carnivores have to stick together.”
“I’m not a carnivore and neither are you. I’ve seen you eat apples,” Thomas explained for what he felt must have been the twentieth time. Then he turned his attention back to his guard. “It’s alright, Moonlight. Tali here’s cool.”
“Cool?” the griffon raised an eyebrow. “Who are you calling cool, pipsqueak? I’m the hottest griffon in all Equestria,” she said as she stepped away from Thomas and struck a heroic pose. “How do ya think I made it into Celestia’s bed?”
With that, Moonlight looked down and realized Talon was a member of Celestia’s harem and extinguished her horn, though she kept her eye firmly on the griffon. “Forgive my earlier threat. I did not know that the two of you were friends.”
“Don’t apologize,” Thomas instructed before looking back at the still posing Talon. “You shouldn’t have shoved her like that,” he scolded.
“Meh,” Talon shrugged. “No big. What’s this little pony going to do to me anyway?” She asked as she stepped up to Moonlight, pressing her bare breasts against the guard’s breast plate as she stared down at the shorter pony.
“Little?” Moonlight snarled as she straightened her back, but it did little to close the gap between their heights. The tension was palpable.
“Hey. Hey. Whoa,” Thomas coaxed as he moved himself between the large women, internally scolding himself for deliberately getting into a position where people could knock him out just by falling on him. “There’s no reason to start anything here.”
“Aww,” came a complaint from somewhere out in the cafeteria. Most ponies stuck to their own conversations, but a few of the nearby tables were watching events unfold with great curiosity.
“Why don’t we just calm down and shake hands as friends?” Thomas suggested hopefully.
After a few more seconds of glaring, Talon broke out into a giggle. “Not bad, pony,” she complimented. “Most of you guards back down when I stare down at you like that, but you held your own. You’re alright in my book,” she held out her claw. “Name’s Talon, concubine in Princess Celestia’s harem and former Sergeant in the Royal Griffon Reserves.”
The unicorn offered a respectful grin and took the griffon’s claw and gave it a friendly shake. “Private First Class, Moonlight Shield. I’m currently assigned as guard to Luna’s Senior Concubine.”
No matter how often any pony said ‘concubine’, the word never ceased to sound weird to Thomas. Regardless, he was grateful this hadn’t turned into a catfight, or whatever you’d call a fight between females of different species where one actually was half cat. The three took their seats at the table and began to eat. Thomas had somehow found himself in the middle of the two larger women with the armored mare to his left and the soft yet muscled griffon to his right.
“So what were you two talking about before I stepped in and improved the scenery?” Talon asked, taking deep slow breaths to draw attention to her breasts.
“The parasprite invasion in Ponyville,” Thomas answered.
“Ah. How did that mess even start to begin with?” Talon inquired. “I mean, the way I hear it, that pink pony was the first to identify the parasprites and then she spent the next few hours gathering instruments for the parade while her friends bumbled around. Shouldn’t they have listened to her from the start and saved themselves a whole mess of trouble?”
“Maybe she wasn’t very direct about it,” Thomas suggested. “I hear she can be a little silly so…”
“But she was their friend,” Talon defended. “Plus she’s one of the freaking Elements of Harmony. Shouldn’t that mean something?”
“Well…” Thomas chose his next words carefully so as not to reveal too much. “From what I hear, the Elements bonded to them because of their personalities and she’s the Element of Laughter. Just because they have certain personality types, doesn’t necessarily make them authority figures.”
“No. I think Talon’s got a point,” Moonlight added. “The Elements of Harmony are a magic that predates Equestria. Power like that isn’t given out to just anypony. Those six were deemed worthy by an ancient and arcane magic and then used that magic to vanquish… er… free Princess Luna.” It was an unspoken rule among the night court to avoid mentioning Nightmare Moon. “This is probably an appeal to authority fallacy, but I can’t help but think that that at least means their opinions should be heard.”
“Thank you,” Talon threw up her hands in exasperation. “You’re the first pony I’ve talked to who actually agrees with me on this. If the Elements had bonded with griffons, we’d have handled matters a lot differently.”
Moonlight waved her hand encouraging Talon to go on.
“Well,” the griffon continued, “first thing we’d do is immediately conscript them into the RGR and give them all training, in self-defense if nothing else. A weapon like that needs to be protected. Second, we’d move them to the capitol where they’d be in a central position that could easily be deployed wherever needed.”
“The first part, maybe, but I’m not so sure on the second part,” Moonlight argued. “The Elements of Harmony aren’t an ordinary weapon that you use to just blast anything in your path. I’m not sure if I can explain this properly, but a lot of advanced magic has this philosophical and emotional aspect to it. You’d want to keep the Elements’ operators happy and harmonious so that they can still use the Elements. If their personalities change, like if they went through boot camp, then you run the risk of compromising their compatibility with the magic.”
Talon stroked the bottom of her beak ponderously. “Well, what would you do miss smarty-corn?”
“I think we need to reassign a few soldiers from the army to Ponyville. Since that’s where the operators live, the best way to keep the harmony is to let them live where they want with their friends and family. The soldiers would spend most of their time patrolling the town, since I hear it’s sorely lacking any kind of police force anyway. But they’d also spend a few days a week training the Elements’ operators and be on standby to offer their support whenever there was some sort of emergency. That way, even if Thomas is right and the Element of Laughter is a little silly, then at least there would have been some trained professionals nearby who could recognize that she knew what those things were and then help her deal with them.”
Thomas smirked at Moonlight’s words. Not only was he happy that she’d begun to open up, but he had made that very suggestion to Celestia. She refused because she thought it would be too much of an intrusion in their lives and the peace of the quaint little town.
“So tell us, Talon,” Moonlight began. “How does one go from a Sergeant in the RGR to one of Princess Celestia’s consorts?” She asked before taking a bite of her apple.
“Well the pay’s a lot better, let me tell ya,” Talon said after swallowing a whole fish. “And I don’t think I need to go into the other benefits. But if ya want to know the story, it all happened about ten years ago. The RGR had been summoned to Canterlot for the annual March of the Griffons, to celebrate the anniversary of when the Griffon Kingdom formally joined Equestria.”
“I’ve been to that a few times,” Moonlight commented. “The performance of your flyers was almost as good as the Wonderbolts.”
“Almost,” Talon added sardonically. “I was in the aerial team that year and we were on our way to finally stealing the title away from those feather weights. But there was an accident,” She flared her left wing behind Thomas and pointed to a scar at the bend in the wing.
“Oh,” Moonlight gasped in concern. “What happened?”
“Apparently the weather ponies lost control of a storm cloud and there was a stray bolt of lightning that went straight for Celestia, so I jumped in the way.”
“You saved the Princess from a stray bolt?” Moonlight asked in amazement. “You’re a hero! But how did you manage to outfly a lightning bolt?”
“We do a lot of joint operations with the weather ponies,” Talon explained, “so I’ve seen enough clouds to know when they’re going to release their bolts and where. I saw that this cloud was prepping for a big one and there was no time to warn any pony, so I did my duty and took a shot for the Princess. It hurt like Tartarus, but my team acted quick enough to save me. When I came to, doctors told me that there was permanent nerve damage. I could still fly, but I’d never be able to do so professionally. That pretty much killed my career as an athlete and a soldier.”
“But wouldn’t you still get compensation from the RGR for an honorable discharge?” Moonlight inquired.
“The Griffon Kingdom’s been going through a recession for the last few years, so they’ve been making budget cuts. I’d have gotten a little money, but not enough to live on. Because the damage was only to my wing, they cut back on my benefits because I was still able bodied and could get another job. Lucky for me, Celestia happened to be hiring. I would have been honored to join the Canterlot royal guard, but it seems Princess Sunbutt wanted to… express her gratitude,” Talon’s feathers fluffed out proudly as her beak curved into a mischievous grin. “And now I get to tap that plot several times a week.”
“Princess Sunbutt?” Moonlight repeated in a whisper.
“What?” Talon asked casually. “Don’t tell me this is the first time you’ve heard somepony call her that.”
Moonlight’s muzzle scrunched and turned a light shade of pink as she sat in stunned silence.
“She’s night court,” Thomas answered apologetically.
“That’s hardly an excuse,” Talon scoffed. “After all, I’m day court and I’ve heard of Princess Moonbutt.”
“Now hold on there!” Moonlight exclaimed while slamming her fist to the table.
“Oh, don’t blow a gasket, smarty-corn,” Talon rolled her eyes. “It’s just a little joke between friends. Besides, I satisfy the Sunbutt on a professional level, so I’m allowed to joke about it. Plus I think present company can confirm that Luna does indeed have a moon on her butt,” she said while glaring down at Thomas.
The human let out an exasperated sigh. “It’s actually a crescent moon.”
Talon wrapped her wing around the human in a makeshift hug. “Hear that. Little chimp’s seen Princess Moonbutt’s crescent moon in full moon.” She and Thomas began snickering at her little joke which, despite her best resistance, soon spread to Moonlight.
“Why do you call him ‘chimp’ anyway?” Moonlight asked once she’d recovered from a brief giggle fit.
“Well I was gonna call him ‘champ’ for jumping over Moonbutt’s great moon,” Talon explained. “But then I thought ‘chimp’ would be more fitting.”
Moonlight looked dissatisfied with this explanation, but a quick hand wave from Thomas got her attention. “Its fine,” he assured. “That’s just her way of being friendly.”
The pressure from Talon’s wing intensified around Thomas. “No, that’s my way of being nice,” she said with a deep sensual voice as she drew her face closer to his. “We’ll have to find someplace private if you want to see my friendly side.”
Thomas froze at what he was fairly certain was a griffon’s equivalent of puckered lips quickly closing the distance with his own. He tried to back away, but the muscles of her wing were too strong. Eventually he was saved when a dark orange hand wrapped around his left shoulder and pulled him away. He looked to see Moonlight with a slight blush to her face as she glared at Talon while holding her ward firmly against her armored breast.
“I don’t think this is the time or the place for that sort of thing,” Moonlight said flatly.
Talon cocked an eyebrow as she examined the human and unicorn carefully, and then shrugged. “Meh.” She returned to what was left of her meal while Moonlight did the same, but with one arm still wrapped protectively around Thomas.
“On the issue of courts,” Moonlight said breaking the silence. “What might a member of the day court be doing eating breakfast during the night court?”
“My shift is normally during the night,” Talon answered. “It might be an alicorn thing, but I don’t think Celestia needs to sleep regular hours like the rest of us. She decides whenever she’s tired, so it’s our job to make sure she’s entertained when she’s not running the country. Though Princess Luna coming back has had a big impact on our schedules. I hear more of us are gonna be transferred to the night shift since that’s when the new Princess is going to be doing all the work. But today’s my day off, so I’m up for whatever.”
“Today’s my day off too,” Thomas added, only for Moonlight’s grip around him to tighten in disapproval.
“We should hang out,” Talon exclaimed as she wrapped her claw around Thomas’ left shoulder and tried to pull him close to her. The result was that both females began squishing him between their two large bodies.
To Thomas’ right was a pair of somewhat small yet supple griffon breasts that were threatening to tighten his uniform. To his left an armored unicorn mare whose metal breast plate threatened to cut into his skin. Thomas then felt his exceptional level of perception begin to stir. It told him that he probably wasn’t going to have a very relaxing day.
Their meal concluded, the trio exited the cafeteria and began walking in no particular direction through the castle corridors. Somehow Thomas found himself leading the way with Talon strutting to his right and Moonlight sauntering to his left. “So, Tali,” Thomas began.
“What’s up, chimp?”
“What exactly do we do on our day off?”
“Haven’t you ever had a day off before?” Talon asked curiously. “Do they even have days off back where you came from?”
“They do,” Thomas assured. “But I always spent that time watching TV or maybe surfing the net.”
“How do you surf a net?” Moonlight asked.
“I’ve never been surfing,” Talon added. “But the beach is too far from here. We’ll have to save up some days off if we want to have a proper beach trip. It’d be a great opportunity to show off my sexy new swimwear.”
She’s walking around topless and in a very revealing loincloth and she has swimwear… that’s sexy? Thomas thought. “It’s not actually real surfing. It’s… never mind. The point is I can’t do it here, so I’m at a loss of things to do.”
“I always enjoy a quiet day of reading,” Moonlight suggested.
“I read all the time while I’m on duty,” Thomas countered. “Whenever Luna doesn’t have me doing stuff, I’m usually either chatting with her or making my way through something I checked out from the library. I’m actually up to the seventh Daring Do book.”
“Course I need sexy swimwear to show off, first,” Talon mumbled to herself.
“Oh, that one’s my favorite,” Moonlight perked up. “Have you gotten to the temple yet?”
“Should probably get a few other things while I’m at it,” Talon continued to mumble.
“I just started that chapter. Please don’t spoil anything.”
“That’s it!” Talon exclaimed, startling her traveling companions. “We can go shopping.”
“Shopping?” Thomas parroted.
“Shopping,” Talon said again. “Be honest with me. Do you have any clothes other than your uniform?”
Thomas looked down at his loincloth and shook his head. “I did have the clothes from my old world, but they kinda got ruined after… well, I’d rather not say.”
“See what I mean,” Talon nudged his shoulder with hers. “We gotta get you some duds so you can fit in with the locals.”
“Most of the locals go around naked,” Thomas countered, trying not to blush at what he was saying. “Besides, what about you? You said you’ve been in Canterlot for ten years. Don’t you already have stuff? If so, then why are you still wearing your harem uniform on your day off?”
“In order: true, true, yes, and because it looks damn good on me,” Talon bragged while placing her hands on her hips and thrust forward. “Besides, shopping doesn’t have to only be for clothes. We can go get something from the local bakery, check out the music shop, see a show, just walk around enjoy the sights, or maybe take a stroll down the red light district and see what catches the eye,” she concluded with a wink.
“Um, that’s a nice idea and all,” Thomas said as he searched for a way to change the subject. “But I don’t really have any money.”
Talon frowned at him, her feathers ruffling angrily. “You mean you haven’t been paid yet?”
“Oh, no. I have been paid,” Thomas assured the griffon. “I just don’t have any money with me right now,” he gestured to his waist. “No pockets.”
“So where is it?”
“Luna’s secretary deposits everything directly into my account at the bank. But I do keep a few bits handy in case of emergencies.”
“Then let’s go get that money,” Talon said matter-of-factly.
Thomas looked back in the direction they had come from and remembered the encounter earlier that evening. “Um, I really don’t want to go get it right now.”
Talon leaned in uncomfortably close and glared at the human suspiciously. “Why not?”
“Blueblood solicited him for sex earlier,” Moonlight said bluntly.
Thomas whirled around at the mare, staring in shock at how she’d just blurted out something that embarrassing.
“Ah,” Talon said understandingly then put her claw on his shoulder. “We’ve all been there.”
Thomas frowned at the griffon. “You… slept with Blueblood?”
“What? Buck no!” Talon recoiled at the thought. “I might just be a whore with a fancy title, but I still have standards for Faust’s sake.”
Faust was the name of a deity worshipped by ponies, even back before they migrated to Equestria. Most of the knowledge of this religion had been lost in the migration, but ponies still kept the faith here and there with what little they could. Most viewed the alicorns as Faust’s last great gift to the world before her departure, thus making them the primary focal points of worship these days. Needless to say, even by the more secular standards of the modern era, worship of Luna was all but abysmal compared to that of Celestia and even Cadence.
“I was just saying he solicited me back when I first came to the castle… Nothing happened,” Talon asserted forcefully.
“Me thinks the lady doth protest too much,” Moonlight whispered in a teasing sing-song voice.
“Keep talking, smarty-corn, and I’ll show you what we learned in the RGR about subduing unicorns,” Talon said through a gritted beak.
Moonlight averted her gaze while wearing a guilty smile. “If you insist.”
“ANYWAY… since we can’t get your money, I can just give you a loan,” Talon offered.
“I guess, but it doesn’t look like you have any pockets either,” Thomas gestured down at Talon’s loincloth.
“Peh,” Talon scoffed. “You’re just not looking in the right place. Check this out,” she said before heading over to the edge of the hall and began making uncomfortable gagging noises followed by a long “gaaaaah!”
Thomas flinched while Moonlight brought her fist to her muzzle to suppress her own gag reflex.
Eventually Talon turned around and held out a large brown bag in one claw. She jingled it a bit to emphasize the gold coins within. “Us griffons have a little pouch in our chests for storing food,” she gestured between her breasts. “It’s the ultimate pocket,” she bragged.
Moonlight groaned in revulsion at seeing the juice soaked bag. “Thanks, but I don’t think any pony’s gonna want bits that have been… ingested.”
“No worries,” Talon shrugged before tossing the bag over to Moonlight, who had the misfortune of having military grade training compelling her to catch it. “The bags waterproof, so the shop-keeps shouldn’t mind. And since you’re the only one with anything to tie it to, you can carry the bag while the chimp and I shop.”
Moonlight seemed to shake in a mix of anger and disgust. She clearly wanted to say something in protest, but as the gears began turning in her head, it became clear that the griffon’s logic was sound. The guard was the best choice to carry the money, and likely any purchases her charge made. This was one of the things she’d been warned about back in the academy, royals assigning her to particular VIPs and expecting her to act as a pack mule in addition to protector. It was not a guard’s place to complain about such things, so she sighed in defeat and tied the wet bag to her waist where it rested grossly against her cutie mark.
“Why don’t you use your magic to wipe away the spit?” Thomas inquired.
Moonlight froze, aghast at her oversight. Her horn glowed and a small pool of slime fell to the floor from the bit bag.
Talon then turned her attention down to the human. “And don’t you worry about paying me back right away, chimp. I’m certain we’ll be able to…” she began stroking her claw sensually against his chest, “work something out.”
Thomas took a step back with a forced smile. “Thanks, but I think I’ll just give you the bits once we get back.”
Talon momentarily frowned in disappointment, but it quickly faded. “We’ll see,” she said suggestively.
**********
The trio eventually made their way out of one of the servant’s entrances and grabbed a carriage for the short trip to the Canterlot market district. Somehow they got back in the same position with Thomas in the middle, Moonlight to his left, and Talon to the right.
“So what’d you think about eating with us commoners in chow hall?” Talon asked as she leaned against Thomas. “Not nearly as fancy as eating with the Princesses in the royal dining hall, is it?”
“It was alright, I guess,” Thomas shrugged. “Besides, you’re no commoner and it’s not like you don’t eat with the royals too.”
“Maybe, but that was mostly for your benefit,” Talon answered. When there was no response, she continued. “It is pretty normal for the Senior Concubine and the rest of us to eat at the same table as the Princesses; this much is true. However, Celestia thought it’d be nice if you had some more ponies there your own age to talk to so she asked us to spend more time at the table eating with the family during the night shift.” She paused to let her words sink in. “Don’t you feel special.”
Thomas gave the griffon a light shove. “You don’t need to make it sound like I’m a little kid or something.”
“Foal,” Talon corrected as she shoved right back, though with her chest instead of her claw. “But you are. You’re easily the youngest one in the room; almost half my age to say nothing about the Princesses. Not to mention you’re the smallest,” she cooed as she pinched Thomas’ cheeks. “You’re our cute wittle human and we wuv you for it.”
Thomas slapped her claws away and the pair began a childish slap fight. Moonlight folded her arms and rolled her eyes in annoyance. “You’re both children,” she swore under her breath.
The carriage stopped in the market district where the human, griffon, and unicorn disembarked and began their noble quest to go shopping.
“So what looks good to you?” Talon asked.
Thomas was still busy taking in the sights. The buildings of the city had a medieval architecture and were about as colorful as the ponies who walked the streets. He’d been here before, but it had always been in the company of the Princess during her occasional shopping sprees. As such, he’d only seen the city at night, lit by Luna’s moon and a series of street lamps. Traffic was moderate and most of the stores had closed for the evening.
Apparently the only reason so many were open at this time was by order of Celestia to accommodate the new night court. Luna’s return had led to numerous changes that went beyond the castle. One of which was that many of Luna’s guards were required to patrol the streets while the local police were still adjusting their schedules. Thankfully, the civilians hadn’t needed much prompting to adjust to livelier nights around the city. The new nightly business had led to an immediate need for more workers for the night shift which increase the income of local businesses as well as slashing unemployment in half.
Thomas felt a surge of warmth as he remembered the look on Luna’s face when she saw the early reports of the positive economic impact of her night court. She kept those reports in her desk where she could pull them out and had Thomas read them to her while she looked out her window and watched the many lights of the city’s active ponies. However, after a few moments of quiet reflection as he and his Princess would stare out at the admittedly romantic scene below, she’d tackle him to the floor and make him earn his wage.
“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Normally I just follow the Princess around, carry her things, and occasionally follow her into the changing room when she… The point is that I’ve never really bothered to look at the stores as places to get things for myself.”
“Well I think we should start with the basics and get you some duds,” Talon said. “Yo smarty-corn. Got any suggestions?”
“I know this place on the corner of Third and Starswirl Lane,” Moonlight answered. “They carry some nice brands at affordable prices.”
“Then onto the corner of Third and Starswirl!” Talon proclaimed as she held out her arm to signal their proverbial charge about a block down the road.
Along the way, Thomas did his best to avert his gaze from all the naked ponies. Thankfully, most were nobles who wore plenty of clothes to flaunt their wealth. However, that didn’t stop them from looking at him. More than once Thomas caught some fancy looking stallion or mare eyeing him up, but a quick glance at either of his escorts convinced them that they probably didn’t want to trouble him.
Once they arrived, the two females on either side of him grabbed Thomas by the arms and practically carried him inside. There he found himself yanked around like a toy between jealous children as each demanded his opinion on outfits they had picked out for themselves. They practically squealed like fillies each time they found something they liked. Once again it was nice to see the otherwise quiet Moonlight open up a bit more, but Thomas would have liked it more without his arms nearly being pulled out of their sockets. The two females continued foraging through the stores isles for nearly half an hour before they remembered the original purpose of their trip.
“Oh,” Moonlight said while looking down at the dress she’d been holding in front of her. “We were supposed to be shopping for Thomas, weren’t we?”
Talon put the bikini she’d been admiring back on the rack and blushed back at the other two. “Yeah. Sorry about that, chimp.”
Thomas accepted and let the pair lead him over to the half of the store where the stallion’s clothes were set up. “I don’t think this is gonna work,” he admitted as he held a suit out over his chest.
“What’s the issue?” Talon asked with a smirk.
Thomas glared up at her. “You know full well what the issue is.”
Moonlight came around the corner carrying the clothes she’d already picked out for herself. “What seem to be the… oh.”
“The damn thing’s too big,” Thomas said as he held out the immense suit. “Seriously. You could tie up the ends and carry me in it like a sack of groceries.”
“Hmm,” Talon hummed suggestively as she stroked her chin. “There’s an idea.”
“No, there is not,” Thomas argued. “I just need a smaller size, is all.”
“We could always try the colt’s section,” Moonlight offered.
Thomas groaned at the mare’s suggestion as he let her lead the way. To his annoyance, the clothes in the colt’s section did seem much more appropriate and he groaned again.
“What’s the problem now?” Talon asked as she held up a striped t-shirt in front of him. “These actually seem like they’ll fit.”
“I have to wear clothes in a colt’s size,” Thomas grumbled. “It’s embarrassing, alright.”
“Aww,” Talon cooed. “I think it adds to your cute factor. Besides, I’m pretty sure Luna has a thing for younger looking stallions. What do you think smarty-corn?”
Moonlight blushed as she averted her eyes. “It seems… fitting.”
“See?” Talon giggled. “She agrees. Besides, you don’t have to wear a colt’s size. You can always go naked.”
Thomas frowned up at the teasing griffon and pushed the shirt away. “Not a chance, feather brain,” he asserted. “Also, there’s the tail hole,” he indicated a hole in the back of a pair of shorts. “Ya think we could do something about this?”
Moonlight tilted her head inquisitively. “Sorry. I think I missed a step there. What’s wrong with going around naked?”
Talon smirked over at the unicorn mare as she wrapped a claw around Thomas’ shoulder. “Little chimp here’s got an issue with nudity. Apparently they go around fully clothed all the time back where he came from so he’s all ashamed of his body.”
“I’m really starting to regret those talks we had in the dining hall, and I’m not ashamed,” Thomas protested while he craned his neck to avoid Talon’s breast. “It… it’s called modesty, you perv.”
“Call it whatever you like, chimp,” Talon teased. “It’s still a silly thing to get worked up about.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a sense of modesty,” Moonlight defended. “It’s an admirable character trait and if that’s how they did it where he came from, then you need to be tolerant of his culture.”
“I am being tolerant,” Talon retorted. “I’m just saying that as long as he lives here, he should really get used to ponies going around in their natural state.” She then released Thomas from her grasp and let him take a few steps forward. Her claws then glided sensually down her hips as she slipped her thumbs beneath the straps of her loincloth. Before anyone could say otherwise, the griffon undid the knot holding her uniform up and let it fall to the floor.
Thomas quickly turned his head away from the griffon. Moonlight stood unfazed, not quite catching on to what was happening. Smiling confidently, Talon sauntered over to human and pressed her body against his side, adding a bit of extra pressure where her pelvis touched his bare skin.
“For the love of Celestia, please stop that!” Thomas groaned as he did his best to think of literally anything other than the strangely hairless griffon snatch pressing against him that could literally start humping him any second.
“I think that’s enough of that,” Moonlight said assertively as she stepped between the two. “Celestia’s sake, you’re a royal concubine. Show some decency.”
Something about that didn’t sound quite right, Thomas thought.
Talon placed her claws on her hips and posed a moment until Thomas chanced a look up at her and she gave him a friendly wink. The griffon then turned around and walked back over to where her uniform was lying on the floor. Before anyone could blink, she had completely bent over to pick her loincloth up and raised her tail up high. Thankfully, Thomas’ vision of the griffon’s luscious bottom was immediately obstructed when an orange hand shot in front of his face.
“Ms. Talon!” Moonlight scolded, causing some nearby shoppers to turn their heads to see the source of the commotion. “That is extremely inappropriate behavior.”
“Um, Moonlight?” Thomas asked as he stared into the guard mare’s palm, certain that he could feel Talon smiling at him.
“Yes, Thomas,” Moonlight said between gritted teeth.
“Not that I’m complaining or anything, but what exactly makes this different from when she was pressing herself against me earlier?”
“S-she…” Moonlight stuttered in a whisper. “She has her t-tail raised. That is an extremely lewd thing to do in public.”
“But what does that… oh,” Thomas said as he made the connection. Whenever they were alone, Luna would turn her back to him and raise her tail from obscuring her bottom to show that she was in the mood to be… mounted. Learn something new every day, I guess. And I suppose, if you look at them like horses who normally spend their whole lives bent over, it makes sense that moving the tail to expose their backside would be taken as a seductive gesture. Regardless, I should probably take comfort that there are limits for public decency. Although, would it have been acceptable if Talon had bent over in a full moon without raising her tail? Thomas thought a moment. Pony culture can be so inconsistent sometimes.
Eventually Moonlight lowered her hand, allowing Thomas to see Talon’s bare rump just before she slipped her loincloth back on.
“Happy now?” Talon asked as she turned around, hand resting on her hip.
“Relieved seems a more fitting term,” Thomas answered. However, he noticed that Talon was looking past him up at Moonlight. He followed the griffon’s line of sight to see the unicorn mare staring daggers at her charge’s perverted friend. Much to his surprise, Talon actually seemed shaken by the condemning look she was getting.
“Yeah, um…” Talon rubbed the back of her neck guiltily. “That might have been a step too far.”
Naaaaaaw. Ya think!? Thomas screamed inside his head.
“Sorry about that,” Talon apologized as she rubbed her arm. “As for the hole, we can just get some of the castle tailors to deal with it later.”
Thomas glanced up at his guard, but she only looked back at him in silence. It took him a moment to realize that she wasn’t the one being apologized to. “Oh, um, you’re forgiven… I guess.”
Talon immediately perked up and pulled both human and mare into a friendly hug. “Good times all around,” she crowed as she bounced around.
“Excuse me,” a gray stallion in a tuxedo without pants addressed the trio in a scolding tone. “Could the three of you please keep it down? You’re upsetting our other customers.”
Sure enough virtually everyone else in the store was staring at the odd trio with disapproving glares. Talon apologized to the stallion’s satisfaction and he walked away. They resumed the task of finding clothes for Thomas and settled on a few sets of casual shirts and pants. No underwear was to be found outside of the sexy lingerie in the mare’s section, so they agreed that the loincloth would make an adequate substitute since he was so used to wearing it anyway. Thankfully, shoe shopping, by far Thomas’ least favorite form of shopping, was skipped entirely due to a protection spell Luna had cast on his feet the first day he arrived to spare him the discomfort of cold floors and rough roads.
The trio brought their purchases up to the front. They were rung up separately as Moonlight used her own money to buy her things while Talon did the same. When it came time for Thomas’ purchase, Talon asked for a pen and made sure he watched as she circled the eighty three bits used for his clothes and then inserted the receipt into her bit bag, smiling the whole time.
I cannot allow myself to get indebted to her. Thomas concluded. If I don’t pay her back right away, she’ll come up with some absurd interest and there’s only one thing she’ll accept.
“I assure you that it’s no trouble,” Moonlight said as the others refused her offer to carry their bags as they walked the moderately busy streets of Canterlot.
“It’s alright,” Thomas assured. “I mean, you’re my guard. It seems you should be carrying as little excess weight as possible so you can spring into action.”
“Chimp’s right,” Talon chimed in. “Celestia help us if some pony comes walking up demanding an autograph.”
“Autograph?” Thomas asked.
“Or maybe a paparazzi or other garbage wanting an in-depth interview about what it’s like to be in depth with the Princess,” the griffon rambled. “Weird how we haven’t seen any tonight.”
“Is that sort of thing normal?” Thomas asked worriedly.
“I usually get at least one little annoyance every time I go out. But guards actually do more to attract those types than repel them,” Talon gestured over to Moonlight. “They know that guards are only assigned to VIPs, very important ponies, so it’s kinda like a bug zapper effect. But on that note, there’s been something I’ve been wondering about. Why exactly does the little chimp have one of Luna’s guards following him around town?”
“I was assigned to protect Luna's Senior Concubine by order of the Princess, herself,” Moonlight answered proudly.
“Okay,” Talon began. “First of all, saying ‘Princess, herself’ doesn’t really stand on its own ever since we got two. Second, and no offense to the little guy, but he’s just a concubine.”
“None taken,” Thomas shrugged.
“Sure, the little guy’s cute and all, but Senior Concubine Sun Dancer doesn’t even have her own personal guard. So what makes him so special?”
“I…” Moonlight began. “Wait. Celestia’s Senior Concubine doesn’t have a personal guard?”
Talon shook her head. “It never occurred to you to ask why a whore needed a bodyguard?”
“Now that was kind of offensive,” Thomas added.
“No,” Moonlight shook her head, unconcerned of Thomas’ response. “I had just assumed this was normal procedure.”
“Well, last time I checked, I am Luna’s only concu… er, consort,” Thomas offered. “I’m also one of her close friends. Maybe she just wants to make sure I’m safe.”
“Hmm. That makes sense,” Moonlight pondered in agreement. “You’re small and you don’t have any magic, not even earth pony strength. You’re the only one of your race in all of Equestria and by all accounts, you’re about as helpless as a foal,” she explained without noticing Thomas grind his teeth in frustration. “And the way Luna always has you following her around suggests she’s either really concerned with your wellbeing, or maybe she’s being…” the guard pony snapped her jaw shut to stop herself from finishing her next thought.
“Needy?” Talon suggested, earning shocked glares from her traveling companions. “What? We were all thinking it. It’s pretty obvious.”
“I really don’t think we should be talking about this in public,” Moonlight whispered. “Or at all for that matter.”
“Well it’s not like I’m passing judgement on the poor thing,” Talon reassured. “I mean, after what she went through I’d probably be a little clingy too, especially with the first decent lay in a millennium.”
“I’m with Moonlight on this one,” Thomas agreed awkwardly. “Maybe we should talk about something else.”
“Just one more thing and I’m done,” Talon promised. “On the note of first decent lay in centuries,” she looked down at Thomas and smiled impishly, “she’s probably gonna be feeling extra lonely all night. Somepony’s gonna have to deal with that come sunrise.” The griffon let her words linger in the air while smiling at the thought she’d just implanted in the human.
“So, Moonlight,” Thomas began louder than necessary. “Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself? What lead you to joining the royal guard?”
“There’s really not much of a story there,” Moonlight hesitated.
“It’s either that or let Talon decide what we talk about,” Thomas answered flatly.
Moonlight looked up at the griffon who was wearing a threatening smile. “It all goes back to my mother,” she began enthusiastically. “She’s a Lieutenant in the Equestrian army and she always told me about her adventures in our bedtime stories. One of my favorite games as a foal was swordplay with my siblings. Not to brag, but I won almost every single match I had with them,” she said with her head proudly held up high.
“Oh, you have siblings?” Thomas asked curiously.
“Of course,” Moonlight nodded. “Don’t most ponies?”
“I was always an only child,” Thomas shrugged.
“That sounds like it must have been lonely growing up,” Talon added sympathetically as she draped her wing over Thomas’ back. “There were two other eggs in my clutch, so I had to work real hard if I wanted to be alone.”
“Only two?” Moonlight asked with a smirk. “I had eight,” she said braggingly.
“Eight!?” Thomas gasped. “Your mom had eight kids?”
“No,” Moonlight corrected. “My mom had three foals, including me. No goats. But if you want to get technical, I had six other half siblings by my herd mothers.” Thomas’ continued gawking told the unicorn that more detail was needed. “There were four mares in my father’s herd,” she said as if it were self-explanatory.
It took Thomas’ brain a moment to remember how to use his mouth. “F-four? Your dad was polygamous?”
“Four is a pretty impressive number,” Talon added while nodding approvingly. “Most stallions I’ve met can barely handle three mares in their herds. How’d you’re old man manage to keep four mares happy?”
“Now hold on a sec?” Thomas held out his hands to halt the conversation. “Ya’ll need to back up a second here because I’m totally lost. Are you two saying polygamy is normal here?”
Before they could really get into the conversation a stomach grumble and the sight of the moon high in the sky signaled that it was time for lunch. They picked out a newly opened restaurant in one of the middle class districts called Dusk’s Cider House. As the trio took their seats, Thomas couldn’t help but notice the disproportionate number of ponies wearing the Princess Luna’s colors, though none were wearing the uniforms he’d become accustomed to.
Talon sensed his question. “It’s become something of a fashion trend as of late to wear Luna’s colors at night. Despite what most might think, it takes more than just maids, guards, and chefs to keep a castle running,” she paused as they took their seats. They found a booth where Thomas and Talon sat side by side while Moonlight sat across from them where she could watch the door. Talon ordered them all apple cider, insisting that it would be rude not to sample the restaurant’s namesake. They all picked up their menus as the griffon continued. “And so many of Luna’s staff have been going out into the city to help with the adjustment to the night court that other ponies just thought it was the next big thing.”
“I heard that Sapphire Shores commissioned a new line of clothes based on the trend and that’s how it became official,” Moonlight finished.
“That’s fascinating, and all,” Thomas nodded. “But right now I’d really like to know what the deal is with the polygamy.”
“Is it really that odd?” Talon asked. “Granted that it doesn’t happen so often with griffons, but considering what the Princesses do, it can’t be that weird, right?”
“That’s different,” Thomas insisted. “Royalty having harems is a hell of a lot different than, what’d you call it? Herds?”
“While you’re right that there are differences, the basic models are more or less the same,” Moonlight answered.
Thomas rubbed his temples to ease his headache, not considering that the cider might be having an effect yet. “How about we start from the beginning? Pretend for a second that I’m a foreigner to Equestria and am still getting used to your culture.”
“Fair enough,” Moonlight nodded understandingly. “Well, all ponies engage in herding. Even a monogamous relationship between only two special someponies are technically considered a herd. But monogamy isn’t all that common and a lot of places don’t look too kindly on it. Even so, it’s a tried and true method that makes happy ponies and happy foals.”
“Kinda like the classic mounting position,” Talon added crudely. “Tried and true, but every now and then ya wanna spice things up a bit.”
“Anyway,” Moonlight stressed. “Most ponies choose to have herds of a more proper size. Usually that’s where you have the one stallion and multiple mares. There are exceptions, but it usually works out that way because mares outnumber stallions four to one. Like Ms. Talon said, most herds rarely get bigger than four or five ponies. The reason my dad was such a stud, at least according to him,” she smirked, “is because of all the practice he got in Celestia’s harem.”
“Your dad was one of Celestia’s concubines?” Thomas blurted.
“And the plot thickens,” Talon grinned as all eyes fell on her. “Yes, I heard it,” she groaned. “I swear that wasn’t deliberate, but I make no apologies.”
Thomas snickered at the bit of unintended levity.
“But yes,” Moonlight continued as she took a sip of her recently delivered mild cider. “My father used to be one of Celestia’s concubines. That’s actually how he met my mother. On a day like any other, they walked past each other in the castle and were immediately smitten with one another. She started courting him and his first mare and it wasn’t long before mom popped the question and she became the second in my dad’s herd.”
“Mom’s bedtime stories were about her adventures in the army, but dad always told us about Celestia,” Moonlight trialed off a bit as she reminisced about her foalhood. “Naturally he left out all the stuff we were too young to hear, but he made working for the Princess sound so very glamorous. So I decided to combine the inspirations from both my parents and join the royal guard.”
“What about your other three moms?” Talon asked.
“Baker, teacher, and weather engineer,” Moonlight answered. “They’re still my moms and I love them all, but they never had much in the way of stories.”
“What about your dad? Is he still one of Celestia’s concubines? Maybe we’ve… met before,” Talon said with a suggestive smirk.
“Doubtful,” Moonlight shook her head with a friendly smile, apparently taking no offense from the griffon’s lewd implication. “He retired about a decade ago to be a full time parent. Unlike the RGR, Celestia’s service comes with full benefits.”
“In more ways than one,” Talon said cheerfully as she rose up her glass to the unicorn. The mare didn’t take long to recognize the gesture and rose her glass to meet the griffon’s with a resounding clink and both drank. “Ahh,” Talon sighed.
Thomas took several long gulps of his own cider while processing all that he had heard. “Okay. I think I’m catching up here, but I think you’ve just raised even more questions so I’m still pretty far behind. Let’s go back a bit. Your mom, your birth mom, was your dad’s second wife?”
“That’s right,” Moonlight nodded.
“Your dad married her while he was working in Celestia’s harem?”
“Also right.”
“And she was alright with that?”
“Of course she was,” Moonlight answered with a shrug. “Why wouldn’t she be?”
“Because…” Thomas strained to say, wondering if he was treading into any social taboos. “It was his job to sleep with somepony other than his wife, er, wives. Isn’t that… infidelity?”
“Heh,” Moonlight laughed under her breath before taking another sip of her drink. “Is that how it works back on your world? Concubines and prostitutes aren’t allowed to work anymore once they get married?”
“Oh! I know this one,” Talon chimed in. “Apparently his world doesn’t just have backwards ideas on nudity. They also frown on sex as a profession. In fact, they’re really stingy about love in general.”
Moonlight frowned as she looked at Thomas. “Are you judging my father for something you do?” she asked with barely concealed disdain.
“What? Nonononono!” Thomas waved his hands insistently. “I swear, I didn’t mean any offense by that. Promise! I was just asking cause I’m still not sure how a relationship like that works.”
“Pretty well, I’d say,” Talon interjected to try and relieve the tension. “Most of my fellows in Celestia’s harem are married to really nice herds.”
“They are?” Thomas looked over at Talon while stealing glances to see if Moonlight was still scowling suspiciously at him. Thankfully, she seemed to have accepted his apology.
“If they aren’t, then all that bragging about their foals suddenly gets really creepy,” Talon said with a laugh.
“But, I thought…” Thomas began as he looked down at the crescent moon on his loincloth. “Luna said that wearing this uniform meant that my… ya know… belongs to her.”
Talon frowned at the young man beside her. “While you’re on the clock, genius,” she chided as she flicked his ear with her tail. “We can’t all spend every night and day sleeping in the same bed as our Princess. Unlike you, the rest of us have lives outside of following the Princess around like a lost love-struck puppy. Some of us sleep in the servants’ quarters, but everypony else has apartments and houses in the city. I can take you to Sun Dancer’s place and introduce you to her family. Her stallion’s quite a stud too so she’s married to two other mares for her herd.”
“Alright. Alright,” Thomas waved his hands in front of him. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just trying to figure stuff out.”
“It’s alright,” Talon backed off. “I didn’t mean to go off on you like that. It just seemed like you really should have picked some of this stuff up by now. I mean, for Celestia’s sake, you’ve got to be the most ignorant Senior Concubine in the history of Equestria.”
Thomas lowered his head in shame and sighed “Yeah. Guess I am.”
“Oh, now hold on there, chimp,” Talon said while wrapping both her claw and wing around her friend’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re not…”
“You’re right,” Thomas said flatly. “All I’ve got is a fancy title and the only reason I have that is because there wasn’t any competition.”
“That’s not true and you know it,” Moonlight said sternly. “You earned that role by making the Princess smile, something everypony in the night court worked our flanks off to try and make happen. You’re the one who finally got her to smile and that’s something amazing.”
“Damn right,” Talon agreed. “And it’s not even really your fault that you're ignorant. Luna’s harem is new and you don’t really have any peers who can tell you about this stuff. But all that really matters is that you know enough to make your Princess happy. And you do that, right?”
Thomas let out a relieved sigh and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks guys.”
“There ya go,” Talon consoled. “Just keep making that mare smile and everything else will fall into place.”
“Agreed,” Moonlight added. “And if you ever have any questions, feel free to ask.”
“Well,” Thomas began. “Now that you mention it, there were a few things I was wondering about.”
When the waiter finally saw fit to bring out their meals, the odd trio began their lunch in Dusk’s Cider House as Thomas sought answers to questions he’d never found the time to ask while Luna was around.
“So just to recap, polygamy is pretty much the norm because of how many more mares than stallions there are, and us consorts are allowed to get married, right?”
“That about sums it up,” Talon nodded as she took a bite of her apple pie.
“So is it okay to have sex outside the relationship?”
“Not really. No,” Talon shook her head. “That’s still cheating, and don’t let any of my exes tell you otherwise.”
“But then what about…”
“It’s alright to bring in outside help,” Talon interrupted. “So long as everypony agrees to the stabling, there’s no problem. But sneaking around behind your lovers' backs is still a no no.”
“Okay. But it sounds like relationships like that tend to produce a lot of kids, or foals or whatever,” Thomas analyzed expertly. “How do you not overpopulate?”
“Filly foolers, my friend,” Talon answered. “Lots and lots of filly foolers and colt cuddlers, ponies bent to only liking the same sex. Between them, the small families of monogamists, and the bigger families of herds, the population stays pretty steady. At least that’s what my old grade school teacher said. Course we griffons have a more even number of males and females, so it’s not such a problem for us.”
Thomas nodded, hesitating before returning to the previously touchy subject. “And the spouses of the concubines are really okay with what they do?”
“I still don’t see why they wouldn’t,” Moonlight responded.
Thomas strained to think of a way to get his point across. There’s obviously a failure to communicate here, but I just don’t know what to say to make her understand. Then again, maybe I’m the one who just doesn’t get it. Maybe this kind of relaxed attitude towards sex is just what happens when you combine nudity, polygamy, and ponies just predestined to be promiscuous.
“Oh. I think I might know the issue here,” Talon piped up. “He’s wondering if your moms were jealous of him stabling and professionally sticking it to Princess Sunbutt.”
Moonlight frowned at the word, but her eyes widened in realization. “Is that what you were thinking?”
“I guess that’s part of it. What’s stabling?”
“Stabling is where you pursue a more intimate relationship with somepony that doesn’t want to join the herd. As Talon said, so long as you’re honest and open about it, there’s rarely any kind of problem. At the very least, my family never had any issue with my father stabling for Princess Celestia. When I was older, my mom explained that while she did feel a little inadequate about being compared to the Princess, my dad passed her concerns along to the fore mentioned Princess and we were invited to the castle several times. I still remember going there for the first time when I was little. It was scary at first, but Celestia was so nice to us. She even let us call her ‘auntie Celestia’.”
“That sounds like it must have been amazing,” noted Thomas.
“It was. And when I was older, I learned that my father invited my moms to join in his duties with the Princess whenever they liked,” Moonlight explained as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
Thomas stared at the unicorn mare dubiously. “Your dad… invited your moms… to an orgy… with Princess Celestia?”
Moonlight nodded between each pause. “Rather crude, but I suppose the term fits.”
Blinking incredulously, Thomas decided it best to just return to his food and commit himself to no longer assuming the sensibilities and taboos of monogamy.
“But come to think of it,” Moonlight resumed. “There was one thing my moms all found rather odd.”
Thomas looked up with renewed hope in his eyes.
“They didn’t much like the idea of my dad reporting his sexual exploits with them to the Princess.”
“Report what now?”
Talon bumped Thomas’ shoulder. “Big jobs tend to require a bit of homework,” the griffon explained. “Accountants sometimes have to bring their unfinished work home with them. But concubines have to tell our Princesses about the stuff we do when we clock out.”
Thomas opened his mouth to speak, but his voice failed him.
Talon nodded. “If your Princess is anything like mine, she’ll want to hear all the dirty details about what you and your very special somepony get up to.”
“Now that… that doesn’t seem ethical,” Thomas finally said.
“Well that’s how it works in Celestia’s harem,” Talon shrugged before taking another bite of her meal. “She’s always on me and the other single mares about finding our very special somepony and settling down.”
“…why?”
“Cause she wants us to be happy,” Talon answered as if it were obvious. “It’s our job to make her happy and between bucking in the bed, Celesita likes to hear what married life is like. She counsels us on any spats we might have and gives us support in hard times. In a weird way, when we’re not burying our faces in that amazing plot of hers, she kinda acts like our mom.”
“You do realize how wrong that sounded, right?” Thomas asked.
“Agreed,” Moonlight nodded. “You could have used better phrasing.”
“Yeah,” Talon shrugged. “Probably could have phrased that better. Oh! It’s like we’re her… wait… uh, never mind.”
A very special somepony? Thomas wondered to himself as he wrapped up the last of his meal, ignoring Talon’s suspicious stuttering. Am I not supposed to stay devoted to her? Does she want me to find someone, or rather somepony, other than her? Do I want anyone else? Could I even get anyone else? I think me and Luna are gonna have to have a talk about this.
Their meal concluded and Talon paid the bill. But before anyone could leave the table, she made sure Thomas watched her circle the amount for his meal as separate from the total. She’d also volunteered for him to pay the tip. When asked why, she said that she was old fashioned and believed the male should pay on the first date. She would hear nothing about how this was not a date, bringing Thomas twenty three bits further into debt. After that emotionally exhausting experience, the trio once again set off to explore the city.
“Don’t suppose you two wanna hit up a club?” Talon suggested. “I know this one DJ who lays down the sickest beats you’ve ever heard.”
Thomas groaned and shook his head. “Princess Luna said she wanted me fully recharged when I got back. I’m pretty sure a club full of sweaty naked bodies dancing around is the antithesis of what she had in mind.”
“We could check out the local theatre,” Moonlight suggested. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen a show and I think ‘The Song of Manehatten’ is in town this week.”
“That sounds pretty neat,” Thomas smiled.
“Seriously?” Talon wined. “You’d rather go see that snooze fest than go dancing?”
“You can go dancing if you want to,” Thomas offered with an innocent smile, ignorant of what he’d just said.
Talon frowned down at the little human. “You saying you’d rather I go elsewhere?”
Thomas didn’t answer right away, certain he’d just said something wrong. Moonlight bumped his shoulder and gestured with her eyes for him to say something. “What? No. I’m just saying that I want us all to have a good time. I don’t want you going somewhere if you’d rather be doing something else.”
Talon looked down at Thomas with scolding eyes. “Idiot,” she turned her head in a huff.
Thomas looked to Moonlight and silently pleaded her to explain what just happened. The unicorn mirrored the griffon’s expression and looked away.
Crap. Thomas thought. What the hell did I just say? And why is Moonlight angry too? Did I somehow tap into the universal subconsciousness of female offendedness or something? Gotta think of something… Thomas thought and thought until finally he came up with something. “How about we go to the park?”
“The park?” the two females asked together.
“Yeah,” Thomas said. “There’s this place by the lake I see from Luna’s chambers. I always thought the view would look lovely at this time of night. Plus, since it is night, there probably won’t be that many ponies around so we can have the whole park to ourselves.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” Moonlight nodded. “We can just sit beneath the stars and enjoy the view.”
“And between a griffon and a lunar guard,” Talon added, “we should be able to scare off any potential muggers. Let’s go.”
Plus it’s free, so I don’t have to get into anymore debt. Thomas thought. “To the park then.”
The park was indeed exactly as Thomas predicted, beautiful yet deserted. Eventually they found the spot Thomas had seen from the castle and they all took their seats up on a grassy hill overlooking the lake. The way the moon and stars reflected off the water made it look as though the lake was holding its very own sky.
“Beautiful,” Moonlight whispered. “Nights were never so gorgeous before Princess Luna.”
“Tell me about it,” Talon sighed contentedly.
“Luna really works hard to make each night the best it can be,” Thomas said as he leaned back, propping himself up on his hands. “I hope we’re not the only ones enjoying it right now.”
“I’m sure we’re not,” Moonlight added comfortingly, never taking her eyes away from the view.
The three sat in silence for a good half hour before Talon decided to speak. “On the subject of Princess Luna’s work, I was wondering if the two of you could tell me about what happened with the Prench emissaries.” The griffon lazily turned her head to face her companions who stared in awe at the audacity with which she killed the mood.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Thomas lied unconvincingly.
“I’m pretty sure you do,” Talon said with an impish smile on her beak. “You were there, after all.”
“Thomas is right,” Moonlight defended. “It would be inappropriate to speak of such lewd things.”
Wearing a sinister grin, Talon leaned in closer and closer to the unicorn mare while Thomas craned his body uncomfortably to avoid her bare chest. “It’s clear that you’re still new to the guard,” Talon analyzed. “You just admitted that not only did something lewd happen, but you were there to see it was lewd.”
Moonlight fumed at the griffon. “I saw no such thing,” she protested. “The Princess ordered us to look away while she…” the mare caught herself and slammed her lips shut, but it was already too late.
Thomas buried his face in his palm before looking up at the guard pony. “Really?” He asked in disappointment. “Wait… you were there!?” Thomas asked at this unexpected revelation. The blushing unicorn was unable to meet his gaze.
“There for what?” Talon asked mischievously.
“It would be most inappropriate to discuss the Princess’ personal matters in this fashion,” Moonlight said forcefully.
“What she said,” Thomas added, still craning his body to avoid the griffon’s warm touch.
“Well then,” Talon continued. “How about we make a game out of it? I guess what happened and you tell me if I’m right or not. Deal?”
“No deal,” Thomas and Moonlight said together.
“Alright then,” Talon began. “So based on rumor, what you two just told me, and my own experiences with Princes Celestia, I think I’ve got a pretty good idea of what happened.” She waited a moment to watch her companions squirm in fear. “The way I hear it, Princess Luna had either forgotten that the Prench guys were coming or she was frustrated by how late they were. So she ordered the guards to look away, which they dutifully did, and by the time they looked back, which just so happened to be when the Prench guys showed up, the little chimp was nowhere to be seen.”
“I really don’t think Luna would want us talking about this sort of thing,” Thomas said uncomfortably, not noticing that his mind was growing slightly hazy as the cider finally began taking hold and lowering his inhibitions.
“Celestia never minded so long as it stayed with those who could be trusted.” Talon countered. “And since both of you were there anyway, I think you qualify.”
The human and unicorn exchanged concerned looks. “Should we just tell her?” Thomas asked.
Moonlight was at a loss. Still blushing, she turned to the griffon. “What exactly did you hear happened?”
Talon playfully bobbed her head from side to side. “That a certain somepony was acting as a cushion for another certain somepony’s royal plot.”
“Fine,” Thomas relented. “Luna did ask me to be her cushion for the day.”
“Ooh,” Talon cheered. “I know where this is going, but do tell anyway.”
With a groan, the slightly tipsy Thomas began his story. “Like you said, we were waiting in her office for the Prench emissaries to show up, but they were really late. So Luna told the guards to look away and then told me to lie down on her chair.”
“Lie down,” Talon repeated. “Not sit?”
“It’s a big chair,” Thomas emphasized.
“A big cushiony chair for a big cushiony plot,” Talon said as she painted the scene in her mind’s eye.
“Yeah… Anyway, I lined myself up with the imprint she made in the chair and…”
“How soft?” Talon interrupted. “I know how heavy alicorns can be, but Celestia has the softest plot I’ve ever had the pleasure of cushioning. How was Luna’s?”
Thomas averted his gaze. “It’s like being smothered by the most amazing pillows after they’d just been fluffed and heated. I’m a lot smaller than her so when we do it, her plot pretty much covers up my waist and most of my torso.”
The human looked over at Moonlight, expecting her ready to protest. However, she seemed in a trance, hypnotized by her own mental picture. “And,” she said encouragingly.
“And literally just as she was about to sit down,” Thomas paused for suspense. “The Prench emissaries showed up.”
“Daww,” Talon whined cheerfully. “Timing that bad has to be some sort of miracle.”
“Not from my point of view, it wasn’t,” Thomas complained. “But I guess there are worse views out there.”
“So this all happened without any pony noticing?” Talon asked.
“Like I said,” Thomas continued. “It was a big chair. Plus Luna had to lift up her gown so I could slip under it. I was completely hidden from view. No pony suspected a thing.”
“We knew,” Moonlight broke her silence. “Throughout the discussions, Luna kept fidgeting more than usual. Every now and then she’d let out a moan as she shifted in her… seat.”
“What in Tartarus were you doing to the poor mare?” Talon asked excitedly.
“Everything in my power not to orgasm,” Thomas confessed. “I was inside her the moment she sat down and she couldn’t move for risk of exposing me. I tried to pull out, but she was so heavy that I couldn’t move. My arms were free, but that only made things worse since I had to resist teasing that amazing plot which seemed to be taunting me with the fact that I couldn’t touch it.”
Thomas felt warm breathing on his neck and turned to see Moonlight Shield panting beneath her armor. Her hands twitched as she seemed to be forcing them to stay on her thighs and not move. He then looked over at Talon who was massaging her left breast right in front of him. Somehow, neither he nor Moonlight could work up the nerve to tell her to stop.
“So there I was, my dick inside the Princess while her plot smothered my lower half and I was powerless to thrust or pull out. This lasted for two hours. Two… freaking… hours!”
“Oh, you poor thing,” Talon cooed sympathetically as she rubbed the tip of her claw over her nipple. “That must have been torture.”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”
“But hey,” Talon slapped Thomas’ back encouragingly. “Two hours, man. That’s a hell of an accomplishment. So were you two ever able to climax.”
“The moment the Prench were ready to leave, Luna asked all her guards to escort them out. I think they knew she wanted some privacy.”
“We did,” Moonlight added flatly.
“Then I think Luna cast a spell to soundproof the room and started bouncing on top of me like there was no tomorrow.”
“Praise Celestia,” Talon cheered while raising her free hand triumphantly. “I love a happy ending. And yes… that one was intentional.”
The moon was falling and the trio knew it was time to return to the castle.
“Instead of hailing another carriage, why don’t we walk back to the castle?” Moonlight suggested. “It’s not that far and we could see a few more of the sights.”
“Sounds nice,” Thomas agreed.
“Hmm,” Talon groaned. “I’m not so sure about that one.”
“Why not?” Thomas asked.
Talon folded her arms in contemplation. “I suppose it’d be alright if we stick to the side roads and avoid main street. But let’s just say these uniforms we’re wearing are like red flags to bulls.”
As they walked, Thomas noticed that the closer they got to the castle, the fancier the buildings and ponies became. Apparently the market district they’d been in was predominantly middle class, while the rich, unsurprisingly, concentrated in the shadow of royalty.
“Why hello there, my good ponies,” said a white unicorn stallion with a blue mane, monocle, and fancy suit that thankfully covered his lower half. He was accompanied by a slender white unicorn mare with a pink mane. Apparently she did not see fit to wear anything to conceal her small yet firm looking breasts or anything down below as she draped herself over the stallion. “My name is Fancy Pants, and this is my companion Fleur de Lis.”
“Nice to meet you,” Thomas said a bit quietly. “My name’s Thomas and this is…”
“Ms. Talon! So good to see you again,” Fancy Pants extended a hand and gently shook the Griffon’s claw. Fleur kept her hand on the stallion’s wrist, almost like she was trying to mimic him.
“Been a while, Fancy,” Talon greeted warmly. “And I see you’re still with Fleur.”
“What can I say? She seems to be quite taken with me,” Fancy Pants laughed as he pressed his muzzle against Fleur’s while they both giggled. “Oh, but forgive my rudeness. A Mr. Thomas, was it? I see that you have taken the same career path as Talon, here. But if I may be so bold as to ask, what are you?”
“Uh, human,” Thomas answered nervously.
“Uhomen?” Fancy Pants asked while stroking his chin. “I can’t say I’ve ever heard of one of those before. Is this your first time to Canterlot?”
“I should think not,” Fleur added while also stroking her chin. “Royal concubines live in the castle, after all. Surely he’s already taken the time to see the sights of all our beloved city has to offer.”
“Actually, this is the little chimp’s first day off,” Talon corrected. “So I thought I’d do him a solid and show him the sights, myself. But we’re actually getting a bit tired right now, so we’re heading back to the castle.”
“What a pity,” Fancy Pants bemoaned. “Still not quite used to the night life, ay? My friend Hoity Toity is actually holding quite the shin-dig,” he said slowly and deliberately, “as young ponies say these days, at his personal auditorium. Every pony who’s any pony in Canterlot will be there. I was actually on my way when Fleur decided to h-eep!” The stallion jumped before looking down in surprise at the mare still draped around his arm while she fluttered her eyelids.
Before Thomas could figure out what he just saw, Talon leaned down and whispered in his ear. “Lucky for us all the paparazzi are probably too busy fawning over nobles that they can’t be bothered with us.” She then stood up and addressed Fancy Pants. “Sorry bud, but I’m afraid we’re gonna have to pass on your offer. My friend here’s a bit shy and I don’t think he’s ready for that kind of publicity.”
“Oh well,” Fancy Pants sighed in disappointment. “Still, when next you have some free time, be sure to look me up. I know all the finest shops and restaurants around and would love to be your guide,” the stallion concluded by offering his hand.
Thomas shook it politely. “I’ll keep that in mind, Mr. Pants.”
“Oh, please. Call me Fancy.”
The five said their goodbyes and went their separate ways, but Thomas couldn’t help notice Fleur giving him a playful wink as she walked off, shaking her rear much more than was necessary.
“You like the skinny type?” Talon whispered into the human’s ear.
“What? No. Why?”
“Just curious,” Talon said with as much innocence as she could muster. “Moonbutt’s got a great figure, but I wouldn’t exactly call her skinny. Got curves in all the right places, if you ask me.”
“Well I didn’t.” Thomas insisted before realization donned on him. “Moonlight! I forgot to introduce you back there. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s no trouble at all, Sir Thomas,” the unicorn dipped her head politely. “To be honest, I take it as a compliment. When a guard is doing her job right, the pony she’s guarding doesn’t even notice her as she fades into the background,” she waved her hand and whispered whimsically.
“You’ve got orange fur and you’re wearing purple,” Talon pointed out accusingly. “The only thing you’re gonna blend in with is an over-sized salad bar.”
Moonlight did her best to focus on Thomas and ignore the griffon. “I’m here as your protector, Sir Thomas. And while I’m grateful that you wish to invite me to join in, it is much easier for me to do my job if I’m not in the foreground.”
“Suuuure,” Talon teased. “If you really do your job right, certain Princesses might just forget to ask you to leave the room next time she’s feeling antsy. Good plan.”
“Must your perverted mind pollute everything?” Moonlight scolded.
“Must it? No. Should it? I think there’s an argument to be made there.”
Before the unicorn could be sucked into the griffon’s trap, Thomas stepped in. “I really appreciate you guarding me, Moonlight. And I also understand what your job entails. But I don’t really want to have you following me around like some kind of accessory. It makes me feel weird.”
Moonlight gave a warm smile down at the little human. “Understood, Sir Thomas.”
“And didn’t I already say to stop with the ‘sir’ stuff?”
“Yes you did, Sir Thomas.”
Talon set her elbow on Thomas’ shoulder and lightly leaned on him. “Committed to the job, but not without a sense of humor.” She then leaned down to Thomas ear, but whispered loud enough for the unicorn to hear. “This one’s a keeper, chimp.”
“Would you stop that?” Thomas tried not to smile as he pushed the griffon off him, only for her to give a friendly push back.
Per Talon’s advice, the trio took the backstreets back to the castle. Apparently their meeting with Fancy Pants was a lucky break because concubines tend to be treated like celebrities, with all the perks and drawbacks that come with the title. Once they went through one of the servant’s entrances, Thomas asked to look over all the receipts Talon had collected and made a copy of the amounts he owed. One hundred and six bits after she volunteered for him to pay the tip. He did his best not to feel like a stripper as he slipped the piece of paper into the front of his loincloth.
“What’s the matter?” Talon fluttered her eyes innocently. “Don’t you trust me?”
Thomas gave the griffon a friendly scowl. “I just want to make sure I have the right amounts so I can pay you back.”
“You’re no fun,” Talon pouted, not seeing the unicorn give him an approving nod as they entered chow hall. “So you guys wanna hit up the gym after we eat?”
“We have gym here?” Thomas asked as he followed the griffon in dinner line.
“Course we do,” Talon bragged. “It’s over by the guard barracks, but any pony’s allowed to go there.”
“I haven’t been to a gym in years,” Thomas reminisced.
“I can see that,” Talon said as she poked his slightly pudgy belly, eliciting a squeak from the little human. “Being a concubine might get you more exercise than a desk job, but you still gotta keep yourself in shape. Remember, we’re here to please our Princesses in whatever way we can. It’s our job to help them release their daily tensions so they can keep the country running smoothly. That means matching our bodies to whatever they need us to be.” Talon concluded as she grabbed up what she wanted and lead the way to the table they had sat at for breakfast.
“That was rather sweet of you,” Moonlight complimented.
“What was?”
“The way you’re mentoring him,” Moonlight answered. “I just think it’s nice for you to take him under your wing and advise him on what he needs to do to be a better concubine for the Princess.”
“Can we please call me a consort instead of concubine?” Thomas pleaded.
“We can call you the castle slut for all the good it’ll do if you don’t step up your game to meet the Princess’ needs,” Talon remarked.
“What do you mean?”
“Like back at the clothes shop when I suggested Luna has a thing for younger stallions,” Talon explained. “You need to find out what her tastes are and match yourself to them. If she is into the young coltish look, you need to get the right clothes in case she wants to do a bit of role playing. In fact, next time you’re off, you need to meet me in the gym so we can work on shaping that body and building your endurance.”
“Are you sure that’s necessary?” Thomas asked. “I mean, Luna hasn’t said anything, so I don’t think…”
“She’s an alicorn Princess and several thousand years your senior,” Talon said bluntly. “She just came back from a millennia long dry spell so she’s good with vanilla stuff for now. But sooner or later she’ll want to try out some of the kinkier stuff and you’ll need to be ready to meet her needs.”
Thomas considered the griffon’s lecture carefully. Luna had been on him every free chance she got, but it was all relatively basic stuff like basic mounting, sixty nine, and anal. “Exactly what kind of kinky stuff are we talking about here?”
A smirk grew on Talon’s beak. “What do ya say that the next day off we have, I really take you under my wing and give you a demonstration?”
“Thanks, but I think I’ll take a rain check on that one,” Thomas declined as politely as possible.
“Well I can’t really tell you anyway, since Luna’s kinks are probably different from Celesita’s,” Talon admitted. “But I will say that so long as you’re the only one in her harem, all her sexual fantasies are going to center around you so you gotta be ready for anything. And when the time does come that she asks you to do something that seems a little weird, NEVER make her feel weird about it,” she asserted. “What happened with the Prench was one thing, but what goes on between you and your Princess can get into some really personal stuff. Even if it doesn’t sound like something you’d be into, keep an open mind and at least be willing to meet her half way.” There was a long pause as the griffon’s companions took in the seriousness of her words.
“Forgive me if I’m stepping out of line,” Moonlight began, “but it sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”
“Cheh,” Talon scoffed. “Three failed marriages before coming to Canterlot can be a hell of a teacher.”
“Alright,” Thomas nodded. “Anything else?”
“Just one.” Talon threw her arm over the human and hunched over in a huddle. Moonlight took the hint that this was only between them as the griffon began to whisper. “Look, chimp. I don’t know the circumstances behind you getting your role, and frankly it’s none of my business. Luna chose you and that’s what matters. However, it’s pretty clear to me that when she chose you, she didn’t fully explain what all goes into being a concubine.”
“What do ya mean?”
“We’re more than just common whorses; a lot more,” Talon stressed. “But the nature of our jobs is kept pretty hush hush. Even smarty-corn over there doesn’t really know what her dad did for the Princess. My point is that you’re here to please your Princess in more ways than just physical.”
“Like what?”
“Sorry, chimp. But it’s not really my place to say. It’s a really personal thing between you and Princess Luna, so she needs to be the one to explain it. But I can say that while your devotion to her is admirable, you need to set a little time for yourself. It’s your job to make her happy and you can’t rightly do that if you aren’t happy too. Get it?”
“I think so.”
“Just one more thing,” Talon whispered even softer. “Ya ever notice how none of the other concubines have cutie marks related to prostitution?”
Thomas thought on this a moment. He’d always been slow to recognize names and faces. Most of the time, most people simply weren’t worth remembering. However, Talon did bring up an interesting point. The cutie marks of Celestia’s concubines were all pretty varied and even their names weren’t all that suggestive. “Doesn’t that one guy have a hammer and nail?”
“Sure Hammer,” Talon reminded. “His name is Sure Hammer and, while I admit the possibility of innuendo, he used to be a construction worker. He came here as part of a team to do some renovations to the castle and Celestia invited him back.”
Thomas stared at the griffon, ponderous at what she was alluding to. “Why?”
“Like I said. You need to ask your Princess.”
The trio continued their meal with some much more mild chatter before they departed. Talon left for Celestia’s wing to catch a few winks in the servant’s quarters before her shift began, waving goodbye to her friends while gently reminding Thomas that it wasn’t necessary to pay back his debt right away. With the spoils from shopping in hand, the walk back to Luna’s wing was relatively peaceful.
“Tonight was nice,” Thomas stated simply.
“Agreed,” Moonlight nodded as they approached Luna’s room.
“We’ll have to do this again some time.”
“I have been ordered to be your personal guard,” Moonlight reminded him with a smile. “No matter what, I will be by your side.”
“I really appreciate that,” Thomas held out his hand to the unicorn. After a moment’s hesitation, she took it in hers and gave a firm shake. “See you tomorrow,” he waved goodbye as the door guards pushed the door open for him.
“I’ll be here,” Moonlight dipped her head and walked off as the door closed.
Thomas looked around the room to find it a bit tidier than he’d left it. Obviously the maids had come in to straighten things out. Even yesterday’s loincloth had been cleaned, folded, and placed with the others. Thomas set the bags with his new clothes by the dresser with his uniforms and vowed to lay them all out later before checking the clock next to Luna’s dresser. The time was 5:57 am, meaning he had another forty five before night court ended and his day off was officially over.
“But it hasn’t been a whole day yet, so does that mean I’m still free even after Luna gets back?” Thomas wondered out loud. “Whatever,” he shrugged before climbing into bed. “Think I’ll follow Talon’s example and get some shut eye in, just to be on the safe side.”
The softness of the silken sheets immediately induced a feeling of drowsiness, but Thomas was stopped at the very brink of falling asleep by his old enemy, insomnia. When he’d first told Luna about it, she thought it was adorable and a sign that he was meant to be hers. The bed also felt too cold, even with the heavy blankets completely pulled over him. The absence of Luna’s warm body wrapped around his left him with the nagging feeling that he’d forgotten to do something important before he could sleep. Knowing what that thing was only made him all the more anxious.
“I guess I’m as needy as she is,” Thomas said with a mix of guilt and relief. He’d done as ordered and tried making a life outside of Luna, even making plans to do more such things in the future, but returning to this room and being surrounded by Luna’s familiar colors seemed to wash it all away. “I really am just a lost puppy with nothing to do but follow her around,” Thomas added, not certain how to feel about such a predicament, knowing there were worse fates.
“But what was all that stuff Talon was saying?” Thomas wondered. “None of Celestia’s concubines are prostitutes… yet that’s what Talon keeps calling them? And what the hell did Moonlight’s dad do besides… ugh,” he groaned. “Would it have really been so hard to just come out and tell me unless… unless she’s just messing with me.” A light smile crept onto the human’s lips. “That’s probably it. Tali was just joking around. There’s not really anything more to this job. I’m just here as Princess Luna’s fuck buddy.”
Thomas felt a twang of sadness at that thought as he recognized the all too familiar sensation of depression beginning to take hold. “This is just a job,” he told himself. “I like Luna and she likes me well enough, but I probably shouldn’t be getting so attached to her like this.” Thomas proceeded to ignore the little voice in the back of his head pointing out all the times Luna let her guard down around him and showed off a side to herself few ponies had the privilege of witnessing. “Like Moonlight said, if I do my job right, it’s like I’m not even here.”
Before he could think more on the subject, he bolted up at the creaking of the opening doors. Luna’s attendants lead the way in and smiled at the human half covered by bed sheets as he eagerly watched the door. In followed the Princess of the Night herself, in all her splendor and glory. “Princess!” Thomas shot out of bed and ran up to the alicorn. He stopped right in front of her and waited until she opened her arms before he gave her a welcome back hug.
No matter my feelings, I still need to keep smiling so I can make her happy.
“Dearest Thomas,” Luna began before hesitating. “I… am… most elated to see… you, my little human.”
Thomas craned his neck to look up past the alicorn’s exceptional breasts and meet her in the eye. “You’ve been practicing.”
“We have,” Luna said proudly. “Or rather, I have. The duties of this night court were relatively light, so we, er, I spent much of the evening learning the diction of modern Equish. Surely this will go a long way to helping us become more accepted by the common folk.”
Thomas smiled up at his Princess, too happy for her to correct her latest slip. “That’s wonderful.”
“Tis all thanks to thee, er, you.” Luna paused to find the right words. “Yes, you, my little human. You and… your… advice,” she concluded with a friendly wink at the secret they held.
Luna had been most eager to hear about her future trip to Ponyville on Nightmare Night, which was still a few months off. They’d discussed the matter with Celestia present and agreed that this was something they could afford to ‘go off script’, as Celestia put it. The lesson was not terribly important for Twilight to learn and it would save everyone a lot of trouble if Luna simply learned modern speech, toned down on the Royal Canterlot Voice, and embraced the idea that there was fun to be had in being scary from time to time.
“So, my little human,” Luna broke from the embrace and walked out to the middle of the room where her attendants waited while the guards shut the door behind her. “Tell us, how was… your first day off.”
Thomas jumped up onto the bed and lay on his side with his head propped up on his elbow while he watched the attendants undress the Princess of the Night. “Well I met this guard pony named Moonlight Shield.”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded with her arms held out. “Lady Attentive said the unicorn may be young, but she had top marks in her class. And she seemed most eager to serve us in whatever way she could.”
“So Attentive Eye picked her out, not Captain Shining Armor?”
“We… I am led to believe that the good Captain consulted with Lady Attentive to find a guard suitable to the task. There may have also been other factors at work,” Luna trailed off.
“Why does the consort need his own personal guard, again?” Starry Sky asked as she undid the straps of Luna’s dress, allowing it to fall gently into the hands of her fellow attendants, leaving the Princess’ body on full display for the world.
“She has a point,” Midnight Chain added as she and Lunar Stone carefully folded Luna’s dress and set it on the official dubbed ‘dirty laundry’ table. “I mean, I think we’re pretty well staffed and all, but can we really afford to assign every concubine his or her personal guard?”
“Not every concubine,” Thomas answered smugly. “I’m special.” He and Luna shared a knowing look and struggled to suppress their giggles.
“Something you two want to share with the rest of us?” Lunar Stone asked skeptically.
“As Princess,” Luna began. “W… I am afforded the privilege of keeping secrets if… I so deem it necessary. And we shall trust the three of… you not to pry.”
“Yes, Princess,” the three attendants said together, failing miserably at hiding their disappointment at being kept out of the loop.
Just then Luna’s coo coo clock began to chime the 7 a.m. hour as a tiny Celestia popped in and out of its wooden home in an admittedly hilarious alarm clock. On cue, the attendants stepped back as Luna made her way out to the balcony. Her horn began to shine with its blue magical aura. Not moving from his spot on the bed, Thomas looked out of the window over Equestria as the moon began its final descent and the pre glow was beginning to drown out the stars in preparation for Celestia to raise the Sun.
The attendants went over to the windows and quickly closed several of the drapes. They waited on the last one as everyone watched the moon disappear behind distant mountains, only to be replaced by the sun peeking out over the horizon. As Luna’s horn went out and she returned inside, Lunar Stone finished the job and saved them all from the sun’s blinding light.
“In any case,” Luna resumed. “Did you find Ms. Moonlight Shield satisfactory?”
“Yup,” Thomas nodded as he watched the attendants strip Luna of her crown and excess jewelry. “She was a little stiff at first, but she seemed to warm up pretty fast.”
Luna looked up from her attendants and beamed at her concubine. “We could easily say the same of thee,” she said with a naughty smile.
Not moving from his spot on the bed, Thomas pointed accusingly at Luna and proclaimed, “clop-minded mare.” The three attendants began snickering at the accusation.
“Careful now,” Luna warned gently. “We wouldn’t want thee… you to go around making slanderous claims, now would we?”
“It’s not libel if it’s true,” Thomas countered.
“On the contrary,” Luna rebutted with as much posh as she could muster without cracking a smile. “As Princess, tis libel whenever we say it is.”
“Actually, not anymore,” Midnight Chain raised her hand to interrupt. “We learned in school that there was a court decision that changed the law about eight hundred years ago.”
While the unicorn spoke, Thomas couldn’t help but reflect on what he’d just said. I just accused the Princess of being a clop-minded mare. It just sort of slipped out. She doesn’t seem to mind, but still… Why did I say something like that to my… boss? He lingered on that word, contemplating possible explanations before it hit him. Celestia has her concubines tell her what it’s like to have regular married life most likely so she can live vicariously through them. The way Luna and I talk to each other is like I’m her boyfriend, or rather coltfriend. She’s just pretending like we’re dating as a way to unwind the stress of the day, sort of like how prostitutes back home give the ‘girlfriend experience’. It’s my job to play along and give her this experience as best I can. Thomas concluded to his self-deprecating satisfaction. This explanation might have hurt a little, but it felt like the right answer.
“Truly?” Luna asked while her attendants nodded in confirmation. “Hmm. We may have to speak to our sister about this, but at a later time. Continue, dear Thomas. What did you and Moonlight Shield do?”
“First thing we did was head to chow hall where we met Tali.”
“Tali?” Luna asked before remembering. “Oh, Talon. The griffon girl in our sister’s harem, yes. You two seemed to get along.”
“She’s nice,” Thomas agreed. “A little too flirty, but nice.”
Luna gave a half smile as she sauntered over to Thomas in the nude. He quickly sat up and allowed her to sit beside him. “You complain that a consort, as you prefer, is flirty? Is that not the same as complaining that a farmer is picky about where and when to plant their seeds?”
“It just seems like she was a bit too touchy-feely,” Thomas tried to explain. “I don’t think she means anything by it, but it was still embarrassing.”
Luna turned from Thomas to face her attendants. “That will be all this evening, my ladies. You are dismissed.”
The three attendants bowed and left the room, taking Luna’s gown with them. Thomas watched them leave before smiling gratefully up at Luna for not making him have to talk about these things in front of others.
Luna rolled her head to look down at her little human. “In what way did the griffon embarrass thee?”
“She kept hugging me and pressing me against her chest,” Thomas answered.
“Some ponies are more prone to hugging than others, even if they are griffons,” Luna answered sagely. “And being a concubine, she has likely become accustomed to skinship. Such ponies were common even back in our… my day. Tis likely merely her way of wanting to be friends.”
“Friends with benefits, maybe,” Thomas said under his breath, though not hushed enough for Luna not to hear. “I’m pretty sure she wants to… use my body if I don’t pay back the loan.”
“Loan?”
“Oh, right.” Thomas jumped off the bed and ran over to pick up the bag with his purchases. He brought the bag over to the Princess and allowed her to examine its contents. “We went shopping together. Me, Moonlight, and Tali. We decided it after breakfast together. I didn’t have any money at the time so Tali offered to pay for whatever I bought so long as I returned the bits,” Thomas explained as he reached into his loincloth and extracted to the piece of paper with the amounts from the receipts written on it.
“Ooh,” Luna cooed as she pulled out a shirt and read the tag. “Did somepony have to get his clothes from the little colt’s section?”
Thomas frowned at the Princess a moment, but then remembered what Talon had said earlier about her preferences and needing to meet them. “Yeah, um… do you like them?” His answer was for her to pull out a pair of shirts and shove the clothes into Thomas' arms.
“Try them on,” Luna commanded eagerly.
With a forced smile, Thomas took the bag from the Princess and went into the bathroom to change. It’s not like he wasn’t already half naked, but he figured if she wanted this, he might as well make a show about it. The first thing he put on was the vest and shorts Luna had picked out. Moonlight had recommended them for formal attire and they had the distinct aura of one’s Sunday best as Thomas looked at himself in the mirror. Seeing no point in dragging this out further, Thomas walked out of the bathroom for his royal inspection.
The Princess practically squealed with giddiness as she watched him come out. “Dearest Thomas, thou lookith simply adorable.” She then motioned for him to turn around, which he did while trying to hide his reluctance. “Splendid. Simply splendid. Thy garments are that of a colt, but thy frame is that of a developed stallion,” she gushed. “A simply wonderful combination where thy garbs hug thy body in all the right places.”
Thomas felt the blood rush to his face from the flattery poured over him by his Princess. It got especially embarrassing when Luna started elaborating on how coltish he looked with his short muzzle and lanky frame. The real kicker was when she brought up how his slight pudge made him look like a toddler. Deciding it would be in bad taste to ask Luna if this meant she wanted to cuddle colts, Thomas merely continued to smile and follow her directions as he took various poses. Though he did feel especially light headed when Luna asked him to face away from her and touch his toes. If asked, he’d swear he could feel the Princess penetrating him with her gaze, and that he didn’t mind that much. Thankfully there were only three more outfits in the little fashion show and they were far more plain than the first, granting both parties a chance to calm down.
Thomas emerged from the bathroom once more and set the bag of clothes back in front of his dresser before returning to Luna’s side. He sat quietly for a moment before the Princess wrapped her arm around his shoulder and nuzzled under his chin. “Thank you, my little human.”
That was enough for Thomas to once again find his voice. “Any time, Luna. Also, do you think we could get them tailored to close the hole in the back?”
Luna nodded. “Next time, we shall have to accompany… you to acquire garments much more fitting to your, erhm, stature.
Thomas was lying back against a propped up pillow, allowing him to sit up while the Princess lay splayed horizontally across his lap with a folded pillow to prop up her head. It had taken some adjustment before they found a spot which was comfortable for both his knees and her wings. She had removed the enchantment on her mane and allowed it to rest lifelessly behind her. Trying his best not to be hypnotized by the rise and fall of the royal indigo breasts, Thomas set about his duties of satisfying the Princess and relieving her of the stresses of the day. With a tender firmness, Thomas used his left hand to caress the alicorn’s long equine ears. With his right hand, he gently gave the Princess her royal tummy rubs.
“By Faust, this is heaven,” Luna proclaimed breathlessly as she tilted her head into the scratch.
“I still don’t believe this is the first time any pony’s ever thought to have her ears scratched like this,” Thomas sighed contentedly. Giving the Princess her royal rub down was almost as relaxing for him as it was for her. During sex, it often delved into a battle for dominance where the larger pony usually won. But like this, Luna was completely at his mercy to please as he saw fit. Every now and then he’d stop scratching her ears or just let his hand rest on her belly and wait for her to make that adorable pleading moan of hers for him to continue.
“Tummy rubs can be traced all the way back to before the founding of Equestria,” Luna explained as she craned her head back in ecstasy. “And the scratching of the ears is an ancient custom done between close ponies. But in all our years, never have we encountered somepony with such masterful fingers as thee. And to combine both arts at once,” she sighed. “You are a true genius when it comes to pleasing ponies.”
Thomas felt a rush of pride at the idea that this was something only he could offer. He leaned down and whispered in Luna’s ear. “I think you mean I’m good at pleasing mares; one in particular in fact.”
Luna let out a low purring sound to signal her approval. Thomas didn’t know why the large anthropomorphic horse woman purred, but he was in no position to complain. The only problem here was that they ran the very real risk of falling to sleep like this. Exactly why this would be a problem escaped Thomas, but he was certain he’d figure out a reason eventually.
The pair continued conversing about Thomas’ day. He described the things he saw, the clothes he tried on, the food he ate, and the things they’d discussed. Thomas felt Luna’s ear twitch when he mentioned that Moonlight Shield was the daughter of one of Celestia’s former concubines, but did not press him on the matter. She had other interests.
“So this Talon woman really raised her tail to thee in the middle of the clothing store?” Luna asked with her eyes peacefully closed.
“Yeah,” Thomas nodded uneasily. “Moonlight was really upset and covered my eyes. But I’m glad you’re taking this better than she did.”
“Were thou afraid that thy griffon friend might face some sort of punishment for her behavior?”
“A little.”
“And thou were also fearful of how we would respond to thy confession of telling the griffon and guard about what happened with the Prench emissaries?”
Thomas slowed the pace of his rubbing as he nodded silently.
“Hmm,” Luna hummed. “Regarding the former, twas a most lewd thing to do in such a public place, but tis none of our business. And we doubt our sister will be all that angry when this Talon confesses her actions to her.”
Thomas frowned at this. “She’d tell Princess Celestia?”
“We imagine so,” Luna nodded with her head still resting against the pillow as Thomas continued to work his magic. “Our sister hath always been the nosy sort,” a smile grew upon Luna’s lips. “If past experience is any indicator, our sister may try to arrange it so that you and Talon will have many more days off together.”
“I probably already know the answer,” Thomas said hesitantly, “but why would she do that?”
“Our dear sister likes to play match maker,” Luna chuckled. “Who doth thou thinkith recommended that Princess Cadence foalsit for the young Twilight Sparkle? And now the young Princess is formally engaged.”
“Really? Celestia set that up?”
Luna nodded. “Tis her way to tend to the relationships of those around her as one would tend a garden. Seems she hath become especially skilled during our… absence.” An uncomfortable pause followed the allusion to the ‘b’ word. “However, thou should not fret too much. Even if there is no romance between thee and her, at the very least thou may enjoy a beautiful friendship that seems to have blossomed.”
Thomas said nothing, but increased the vigor of his scratching to show his thanks to the Princess, eliciting more cute moans from her.
“That said,” Luna began much more sternly. “We are rather disappointed in ye for, as ponies say these days, spilling the oats.”
Thomas felt now wasn’t the best time to correct the Princess’ attempt at slang. Instead he hung his head low at hearing what Luna thought of him. He was prepared for any brand of anger, but disappointment seemed to cut especially deep. “I’m so sorry, Princess. I don’t know what got into me.”
“Peer pressure, from the sound of it; likely exacerbated by alcohol.” Luna responded as she pulled herself upright and turned to face her human. “Dearest Thomas. We command thee to look upon us.”
Thomas did as he was told and looked up as Luna loomed over him, expecting her to be glaring at him with anger over his betrayal. Instead, he saw that same warm smile she always had when she looked at him, but that was quickly overshadowed by her breasts as she pulled him into her embrace. They stayed like that for a while as Thomas nearly lost himself in the Princess’ soft and warm embrace, his head buried firmly between her voluptuous breasts and their groins pressed firmly together even though his was still covered by his uniform. Thomas loved these hugs. When he was so close to Luna’s heartbeat and even her wings were wrapped around him, it was like they were the only two people in the world. But most of all, he was relieved that Luna did not hate him.
Eventually Luna pulled away from him, but still kept her arms and wings wrapped around him. Looking up at her gentle smile, Thomas dared to ask, “So you’re not mad at me?”
The smile faded a bit, but remained. “Thou seems sincere in thy apology and it was only with ponies we are certain are trustworthy. What’s more, you confessed when you could have so easily kept it secret. Such is the sign of commendable character. However, such transgressions against thy Princess cannot go unpunished. Dost thou agree?”
Thomas nodded solemnly.
“Then this shall be thy punishment,” Luna announced as her horn glowed and Thomas felt the strange tingle of magic upon his groin.
“Um, Luna. What did you do?” Thomas asked anxiously. He never liked being held up by magic and how powerless it made him feel, but magic targeted specifically on his crotch was a whole other level of fear.
The Princess of the Night gave a mischievous grin. “Fret not, my little human. Come. Tis time for our morning bath.” Luna climbed off the bed and beckoned Thomas to follow suit, her royal rump bouncing around far more than was necessary as her tail raised and waved around, announcing her intent. Thomas followed the spectacle in a hypnotic trance as she led the way to the bathroom. Once inside, Thomas noticed a sudden breeze around his nethers and looked down to see his uniform was gone. Looking back, he saw the loincloth held in the teal magical grip of the Princess before she tossed it aside like a used tissue before she ordered him into the bathing pool.
“Dost thou feel small?” Luna asked as she sat Thomas in her lap against the wall of the pool. She propped herself up on her elbows along the edge while her legs were crossed around his abdomen and her breasts threatened to envelope his entire head. The water only went up to the bottom of Luna’s breasts, but that left Thomas completely submerged from the neck down.
“Yes,” Thomas admitted as he fidgeted uncomfortably. While bathing with the Princess of the Night was all well and good, Thomas always felt odd when she decided to hold onto him like this. The way she loomed over him, constantly using little gestures to emphasize their size difference always made him feel like a child. In addition to Luna taking obvious satisfaction from these assertions of dominance, Thomas couldn’t deny that he enjoyed them too. It was weird being dominated, but in a good way. He felt safe with Luna and he knew she only did this as part of her warm up.
“Tis because thou art small,” Luna said matter-of-factly. “Thou art small like a foal in his mother’s grasp, completely at her mercy to please or punish as she sees fit. And you, dearest Thomas, have been a very naughty little colt.” Luna shifted and leaned in to whisper directly into his ear. “What dost thou think we should do with thee?”
Thomas remained silent. There was no right answer he could possibly give. As Luna said, he was at her mercy for whatever she had planned. What’s more, the dark part of his mind told him that whatever she had planned, he deserved it.
“We could administer a proper spanking,” Luna suggested tauntingly as her hand reached around and began absentmindedly caressing Thomas’ chest. He whimpered at her gentle touch. “No. That does seem a bit too severe. Perhaps we shall simply file that away for a later use. But do not lose heart, my little human,” Luna encouraged as her hand fell lower down Thomas front, stopping just above his pelvis and just narrowly missing his now fully erect manhood. “We shall find a suitable punishment for thee, yet.”
Luna’s hand then slid behind Thomas and cupped his right butt cheek in her palm. “Though, we will admit that the prospect is rather exciting, would thou not agree?” she asked as she gave his rear a pinch. “Thine flank is most… tempting.”
“It’s nothing compared to the flank of the most beautiful mare in Equestria,” Thomas countered, attempting to regain some control over the situation and divert Luna’s attention from contemplating his punishment. The comforting caress of Luna’s gentle touch suppressed his more unpleasant thoughts just enough to embolden him to try something.
“Oh?” Luna asked with a raised eyebrow. “And whose flank might that be?”
Thomas turned around in his seat between the Princess’ thighs and looked up to meet her gaze. “Who do you think?” he asked as he leaned up and surprised her with a kiss.
Luna was a powerful mare, physically, sexually, and in pretty much every other way that mattered. However, she was easily taken by surprise and outflanked; quite literally in this case. She moaned into the kiss as her tongue danced with Thomas’ within their mouths. Thomas used the Princess’ own legs for leverage to pull himself up out of the water. Once he was certain he would not slip, he used his free hand to begin kneading her breast while his right began lightly teasing her sex. Luna moaned even louder into her lover’s mouth.
Luna wrapped her arms around her little human and, once again, grasped his little human rump. Thomas retaliated by gently biting her bottom lip and not so gently pinching her nipple. His lower fingers set about spreading her sex just enough for him to insert two fingers all the way to the second knuckle. Even submerged in water, Thomas could still distinguish the moistness of Luna’s marehood. Their bodies pressed so close together, he could not help but hump her belly just below her bosom, grinding his erection against her fur.
“Luna. Your fur’s so soft and warm,” he moaned.
She reached down beneath her lover and took his rump in her arm before suddenly rising to her full height. Thomas broke the kiss at the sudden onset of lightheadedness and instinctively pressed himself harder into the indigo alicorn for safety. She smiled down at him. “Fear not, dearest Thomas. Thou art most safe in our arms.”
Luna took a large step out of the pool and briskly carried him over to the bed, their bed, and laid him down on top of her. Once they were safely down on the mattress, Thomas pulled away from the Princess and stared into her hungry, predatory eyes. If her desires weren’t clear enough, the Princess of the Night ordered through gritted teeth, “buck me.”
As always, Thomas did as instructed. He slid his way off the Princess, down between her legs. There he beheld her glistening marehood. It seemed to twitch in anticipation of what was to come. Not one to disappoint, again, Thomas braced himself against her thighs with one hand, opened her lower lips with the other, and dove in to begin kissing Luna’s slit. It wasn’t all that different from kissing Luna on her regular lips as he began exploring her insides with his tongue, tasting her strangely lemony juices as he hungrily ate her out. The Princess of the Night threw her head back and cried out in ecstasy. “Yes!”
Thomas pressed his face deeper against Luna’s sex, careful not to bury his nose as he dug his tongue in as far as it would go, meticulously lapping it against every square inch of her insides. Even without her writhing around, Thomas knew kissing Luna’s lady lips drove her utterly mad. He brought his hands forward to spread her open even more so that his tongue had less resistance as it penetrated even deeper. Eventually her moans shifted into an insistent whimper as Thomas found her special button and began running his tongue in circles around it without ever actually touching it.
“Your mouth is so good,” Luna cried. “Taste us more.”
Finally Thomas decided he’d tortured his lover enough and pressed his taste buds firmly against her engorged clitoris. Luna let out a shriek of joy as a torrent of her cum fell from her sex across the human’s face and into his waiting mouth. Thomas pulled away and smiled up at the Princess’ blushing face. “Your orders, my Princess?” he asked teasingly as he wiped her juices from his chin.
Luna’s lustful frustration turned to regular frustration as she stared down at the human between her legs. “Put that filthy mouth of yours to good use.”
Thomas took the hint of Luna’s desire for him to talk dirty to her and climbed up onto his knees. “As you say, full moon Princess.” Positioning himself carefully, he teasingly pressed the tip of his cock at her entrance, gently stroking it against her sensitive furless labia. “You like that? You like it when I tease you?” Another groan from the Princess and Thomas gently pushed his second head into her folds.
“Thomas!” Luna moaned gratefully as her entire body shivered.
“Luna. You’re so tight.” Thomas exhaled excitedly as he felt the Princess’ wet insides grip his member. “You’re pussy’s gripping me like it wants to keep me in here forever.” Thomas narrated as he pushed deeper into her marehood. “I guess the royal pussy doesn’t know that I already belong to you.”
Thomas gingerly pulled out the bulk of his length from the Princess’ warm insides, leaving only the head of his cock inside, before slamming back in. Luna cried out in joy and wrapped her legs around his back to keep him from leaving. “Don’t worry Luna. I ain’t going anywhere till you cum.” The human pulled out once more before slamming back in, this time all the way to the base and she cried out again.
The Princess was always tight and that tightness drove him crazy. However, in these initial moments of entering her tight folds, Thomas couldn’t help but be reminded that she wasn’t just any woman. She was an anthropomorphic mare and an alicorn to boot. This part of her body was made to receive the length of stallions her own size, not some puny human. As if sensing his doubts, Luna lifted her head up and looked over her breasts. She gave her consort a very serious and commanding look to keep his focus on what mattered. Thomas grinned and resumed his thrusting with renewed vigor as all his fears washed away. Other stallions don’t matter. He thought confidently. The Princess wants me and she’s gonna have me.
The Senior Concubine of Princess Luna’s Harem quickly found a pace that he felt was worthy of his title. The Princess, in trying to keep pace with him, began grunting like an animal and somehow managed to turn him on further. When Luna began to neigh, Thomas knew she was close. “I love it when you make that sound. Cry for me, Luna.”
“Just shut up and buck me you bucking colt!” The Princess of the Night commanded.
“As you command, moonbutt.”
Thomas had had a lot of practice holding out inside the Princess, not counting the Prench incident. He’d come a long way from the helpless virgin who would only hold out a few seconds, thanks in no small part to Luna’s training. However, for some reason his current endeavors seemed a lot… easier than usual.
“Almost there,” Luna warned.
But there was no time to bother with such things as his Princess was in desperate need of her first orgasm in roughly twenty four hours, a personal record since Thomas took the job. Thomas continued pounding away at the much larger mare, each thrust sending bolts of pleasure through both their bodies. His pace quickened faster and faster until finally he pushed the Princess over the edge. She moaned loudly as she achieved her climax, while Thomas whined in confusion at his failure to orgasm at all.
Thomas stared down at his sheathed yet still stiff member, incredulous at his failure to release his seed inside the Princess. Failing to get it back up after one release was one thing, but how could he not orgasm in the Princess? Worse, what would she think? “Princess… I…” Thomas stuttered, only to be interrupted by giggling from the indigo mare. “Princess?”
The Princess gave a coy smile. “Art thou enjoying thy punishment?”
“Wh…” Thomas could finish the word as he pulled out of the Princess completely. He stared down in horror at the blue magical glow encompassing his balls and the tip of his cock. “What?”
“Thy punishment is the inability to reach climax until we have reached three,” Luna explained. “Two down and one to go.”
Thomas was speechless as his gaze shot rapidly between Luna and his penis. Finally his eyes lingered on the Princess and betrayed just how hurt he was.
“Do not attempt to worm thy way out of thy punishment with those… adorable… puppy dog eyes,” Luna instructed.
However, hurt though he may have been, Thomas was still able to catch Luna’s hesitation. Ignoring the voice that told him to just suck it up and accept his punishment, Thomas decided to turn this around in his favor.
“What is that look?” Luna asked demandingly as Thomas gritted his teeth angrily. “What dost thou intend?”
Thomas pulled out from the Princess and proceeded to crawl on top of her. With each step across her body, Luna was becoming increasingly nervous.
“Now Thomas,” she warned. “Let’s not do anything rash.”
The human ignored her and rested his naked body on top of the Princess’ belly, just below her breasts. He then began eyeing her teats threateningly.
“We are warning thee. If thou art thinking of doing what we think thou art thinking of doing, thou will be most sorry,” Luna threatened with an air of fearful excitement.
Thomas hovered above Luna’s right breast with his mouth wide open.
“We say thee nnnnnnn-” Luna was cut off by her own moans as Thomas latched onto Luna’s nipple and began suckling like an infant. With his left hand he snatched up her left breast and began massaging it, causing her chest udder to leak. Luna loved having her breasts suckled, so she enchanted them to lactate to give Thomas some extra incentive. “Cursed villain,” Luna swore breathlessly as her cheeks turned bright red beneath her fur.
Thomas briefly unlatched from the alicorn’s nipple. “I know your weaknesses, my Princess,” he taunted, breathing cool air onto the sensitive areola, only to resume suckling. The warm milk tasted sweet as he drank it greedily.
“We are…” Luna paused, momentarily forgetting what she intended to say. “Princess Luna. We shall not be defeated by… ooooooh-mmmmmmh.” She moaned as Thomas began gently grinding his teeth on her nipple. She was so distracted that she didn’t even see the human’s hand sneak around her massive breast and grab onto her ear. Her teal eyes went wide and she let out a cry of joy as she reached her third climax.
Thomas looked up to see Luna glaring at him with as much anger as she could muster, but it quickly faltered as her pleasure blead through. He grinned at his successful strategy as he saw Luna’s horn glow and felt the tingle of magic leave his groin. Before he could celebrate his victory, he was disoriented as he was flipped over and found himself beneath the indigo Princess. She adjusted herself so that she was laying on her side with her breasts still pressed against her consort’s face while she reached down and began stroking his cock. After holding it in for so long, it did not take Thomas long to cum into her hand.
Luna smiled lovingly down at the human beneath her, but he didn’t notice, continuing to drink her milk with his eyes closed while he reached up to attend her ears. The lovers continued to blissfully milk one another for another few minutes before Luna pulled herself up and threw her leg over Thomas’ waist, taking her seat over his pelvis and planting her glorious plot over his thighs.
“An excellent maneuver,” Luna moaned as she grinded her sex against Thomas’ shaft. “Thou attacked thy enemies weak points for massive damage.”
Did she really just say that? Thomas wondered as he smiled dumbly up at her, rotating his hips to try and match her movements.
“However,” Luna began as she bore her teeth hungrily. “Do not think a Princess is so easily bested.”
The human stared up at the goddess looming over him with his mouth agape in awe. She lined herself up and once again took him inside of her, riding him cow-girl style. Unable to reach her breasts or ears, Thomas braced his hands on her cutie marks, massaging them while also using them for leverage to thrust up inside her as best he could in spite of the massive weight upon him.
The lovers continued in this way for a half hour or so, climaxing together several more times before Luna no longer felt Thomas moving beneath her. He’d passed out, as he usually did when she over worked him. Luna leaned down and nuzzled her sleeping lover affectionately. She grinded against him until she felt him release the last of his warm seed into her womb and his cock go flaccid.
The Princess of the Night gently set Thomas upon the bed and pulled the covers up to keep him warm. She’d not be sleeping with him today as she had made previous engagements with her sister, but she’d return to his side before he awoke. She loved how the first thing he did when he woke up was to look for her and the smile of relief that would adorn his face when he found her was far too precious to miss. But that would come later.
For now, she quietly beckoned in her daytime attendants where they washed off her love stink while Thomas slept peacefully. But before she could leave, Luna’s gaze lingered on the man in her bed. She sat down beside his sleeping form and gently stroked her fingers through his shaggy mane.
“Princess?” One of the attendants asked.
“In a moment,” Luna instructed as she continued to gaze down at the human and absentmindedly stroke his hair. Eventually, Luna let out a sigh as she looked up at the clock and saw that it was time for her to go. She leaned down and gave Thomas a kiss on the forehead. “Sleep well, my little love.”
“Time to wake up, dearest Thomas,” Luna greeted warmly as her lover lay atop her. She had returned to bed late the previous afternoon and gently pulled her human over her like a small blanket, or teddy bear.
Thomas stirred from his sleep atop the alicorn. “Don’t wanna,” he groaned as he buried his head into Luna’s breasts, using them as the most comfortable pillows in the world while adjusting where he lay against the Princess’ soft fur. Luna’s attendants had opened the curtains to reveal the setting sun while they did their best to avert their eyes from the scene on the bed, though their snickering could still be heard. The human slid off of his lover and hung his legs over the side of the bed while she dismissed her attendants. Wordlessly Luna walked around the bed to give him his wake up call, which she swallowed as greedily as he did with her milk the previous day. Much to Thomas’ pride, he managed to cum twice into Luna’s hungry mouth. Once she applied the enchantment to give her mane life, the Princess then snapped her fingers and the attendants returned, stripping down to their bathing suits and following her into the bathroom. Thomas did the same.
“You said I got two days off every week, right?” Thomas asked from a waterfall along the edge of the pool while Luna showered under her own neighboring stream. The bath pool meant for alicorns was large enough for Luna and several other occupants, likely by design, meaning there were multiple openings along the walls for water to come through. Thomas made sure to give the attendants plenty of room while they washed Luna’s body and he grabbed a soap bar and rag for himself. Though the human did try to keep turning himself to the side so that the attendants did not see his dangling manhood, his efforts turned against him as he became self-conscious about them starring at his butt. “Does that count for today, too?”
“Nay,” Luna said with her arms stretched out for her attendants to clean. “Today is Tuesday, so thy next day off is on the coming Friday. Until informed otherwise, thou art to be relieved of thine duties every Monday and Friday so as not to be overtaxed. If thou desires particular off days, thou shalt have to discuss with Lady Attentive Eye.”
“Makes sense,” Thomas nodded as he dragged the wash cloth over his body, occasionally looking over his shoulder to catch the various mares peaking at his naked form. When they turned away, he caught his eyes lingering on various parts of their bodies as well. Despite spending so much time adjusting to nudity, something about the attendants’ bathing suits was strangely eye catching. But it was nothing more than harmless looking. Luna knew he only had eyes for her, right? Besides, it’s not like he’d ever really do anything with any pony but Luna.
“So, then is today back to business as usual?” He asked hopefully.
Luna gave a soft nod.
“Alright then!” Thomas proclaimed as they all finished their washing before exiting the bathroom. Thomas pulled up his uniform and headed back over to the bed while he watched the attendants dry off their Princess and themselves before retaking their maid uniforms and beginning to dress Luna. “So what’d I miss yesterday?”
“Alas, twas a tediously boring day,” Luna bemoaned. “We had numerous appointments scheduled with the various heads of night court staff, but aside from the standard complaints about still being understaffed, all seems to be going quite well and thus the meetings were short.”
“I suppose there are worse things than having an efficient staff,” Thomas commented.
“Perhaps,” Luna agreed. “But without so much as the stirrings of strange creatures along the city outskirts to break up the monotony, ruling our kingdom can be such a chore.”
“Maybe the monsters of the night have finally caught on that you’re here to keep them in line,” Midnight Chain suggested. “Maybe they’ve realized that there’s no point in making mischief with you around, so they’ve decided to just stick to their part of the wilderness and leave civilization alone.”
“Doubtful,” Luna shook her head. “If they did not learn this lesson from our sister while she took up our duties, it is unlikely that things would change simply because we are the one fending them off.”
“Don’t sell yourself short there, Princess,” Lunar Stone encouraged. “They’re probably still licking their wounds after the royal smack down you’ve been laying on them the last few nights.”
“Remember when that pack of manticores was attacking those caravans a week ago?” Starry Skies said to no one in particular. “Princess Luna lit them up so bright the papers said ponies thought it looked an early sunrise. And ever since there hasn’t been a single manticore sighting in the area.”
“If you really just spent all night at your desk, then it sounds like the perfect time for the royal rump to lay upon the royal cushion. Oh well,” Thomas sighed while the attendants giggled. They heard the rumors so there was no harm in making the joke. “Coulda, woulda, shoulda.”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded as Midnight Chain levitated Luna’s dress overhead and slipped it down over the alicorn. “So, without our precious little human at his post, we were forced to find other means to alleviate our boredom. One of the guards suggested board games, so we sent him forth to retrieve one from his quarters. The title upon the box read ‘Monopoly’ and it was most engaging.”
“We have that back in my world,” Thomas added. “Did you win?”
“Alas, no,” Luna said confidently. “While our guards did their best to explain the rules, they were also courteous enough not to go easy on us simply because we are the Princess.”
“I’m proud of you for being such a good sport,” Thomas said. He meant it too. A part of him felt he should say things like this just for his job, but Thomas felt his words came from a sincere place. He’d always been so fascinated with her on the show, but in person, he really was proud of Luna and happy at how well she was adjusting.
“Twas fun all the same and we shall strive to do better next time,” Luna continued. “Perhaps thou could help us practice?”
“If we have the time, sure,” Thomas shrugged.
“We suspect that there will be much free time this night as we have only a few appointments: meeting our speech therapist, inaugurating a museum in our honor, the reopening of a restaurant in Canterlot, and then a brief free period before returning to court to resume the drudgery of paper work and the grievances of the aristocracy.”
“You don’t say,” Thomas said leadingly. “A tour of a museum followed by lunch in a fancy restaurant? Seems to me like tonight’s appointments look an awful lot like a date.”
“Really?” Luna’s ears perked up. “We had not noticed.”
“Not that it’s any of my business,” Lunar Stone began as she set Luna’s ear rings into place. “But I’m pretty sure setting up appointments just so you could go on a date with somepony would be an abuse of power.”
“Well it’s a good thing that’s not what’s happening,” Midnight Chain added in a scolding tone. “The Princess just happens to have a rather inconsistent schedule and tonight is just a slow day. It’s not her fault Attentive Eye set up appointments that just happen to resemble a date.”
“Is that what’s going on?” Starry Sky asked her fellow attendants. “Cause when the Princess went to go see Attentive, she sounded like she wanted to do something special for tonight after finding out the guy left the castle with that griffon from Celestia’s hrmf,” she was cut off when Midnight Chain and Lunar Stone slapped their hands over her mouth.
Thomas straightened up where he sat. “After she found out?” Thomas repeated. “Were you keeping tabs on me?”
“We did nothing of the sort,” Luna protested while guiltily averting her eyes. “We just happened to catch word from a few off duty guards that a certain somepony happened to leave the castle with another certain somepony. And it just so happened that, for reasons completely unrelated to this idle chatter, that when we headed to Lady Attentive for our scheduled meeting, as was scheduled,” the Princess took great care to emphasize. “We just so happened to suggest that we have been working hard as of late and thought that since our staff has days off, as Princess, we deserved the occasional day of light duties. Tis nothing suspicious about any of this and we challenge thee to say otherwise,” she concluded with a mildly threatening tone.
“I see,” Thomas nodded with a knowing smile. “So this was all just a series of unrelated coincidences.”
“That is indeed the definition of coincidence,” Luna nodded with a regal tone.
“This is just royal business and not a date,” Thomas added. “Because if it were a date, we could have just waited till the weekend when you don’t hold any royal appointments.”
Luna’s eyes widened in realization as her cheeks turned the faintest shade of pink. “Indeed. It would be most silly if such a thing were to slip our mind. Ha ha. Yes…”
“Then this has nothing to do with any pony being…” Thomas paused for dramatic effect, “jealous.”
“Jealous?” Luna’s tone remained even. “We do not know what thou art talking about and we most certainly cannot imagine why any pony would become jealous from a simple night out with friends.”
Thomas studied Luna’s tone and body language as best he could, but couldn’t determine if she was actually jealous or not. Based on what she said last night, she seemed like she was trying to ease my worries about Tali being flirty, like she was encouraging me to accept her quirk and stay friends with her. That might not be jealous behavior, but her keeping tabs on me is a little suspicious. Maybe she really did just overhear some banter. Maybe this is just all one big coincidence and she really did just want to take things easy for a day.
Even so, why would she be jealous in the first place? I basically belong to her anyway. While keeping a smile, a few more thoughts slipped into Thomas’ head. This kind of friendly behavior is all for pretend, part of the coltfriend experience. She’s probably pretending to be jealous, so I just need to play along and not bother her with any of this stupid baggage. I’m here for her, not the other way around.
“What?” Luna asked as the attendants stepped back for their final checks on her dress.
“I was just thinking that maybe I need to stop overthinking things and just go on a date with the most beautiful mare in the kingdom,” Thomas answered smugly as he hopped down from the tall bed.
“Flatterer,” Luna accused as she bent over and gave Thomas a kiss on the cheek. “Come then. We are off to begin the night court,” Luna proclaimed as she made for the balcony and her horn lit. The sun finished its set, but the darkness was quickly illuminated with the coming of the stars and the rising of the moon.
Thomas walked up behind her and stared up at his Princess’ work. “Looks like you went all out on the stars tonight. It’s like there’s a city in the sky.”
“We are happy for thy approval.”
“My approval?” Thomas asked. “Now you wouldn’t be trying to impress me on our little not-date, would you?”
“It’s royal business, not a date,” Luna fumed. “We just happened to feel the citizens of Equestria would appreciate a lovely sky this evening. Nothing m-” Luna was cut off by a hand suddenly wrapping around her waist
“I can’t speak for Equestria, but I know at least one guy who appreciates your work.”
Upon exiting Luna’s chambers, her entourage quickly fell into formation. Her house guard took up his post one step to Luna’s left three steps back. Thomas mirrored the guard’s position to the right. He then looked over his shoulder and smiled at Moonlight Shield who took her post behind him. Midnight Chain, Lunar Stone, and Starry Skies moved in front of Luna and lead the way to the dining hall. Along the way they were joined by a brown unicorn mare with her blue mane tied back in a bun and wearing a vest, skirt, and glasses.
“Evening, Princess Luna,” the mare with a ‘no nonsense’ expression tipped her head in a light bow as she pulled out a clip board.
“Evening, Lady Attentive,” Luna greeted.
“Today’s schedule might be a little light, but that’s no reason not to give it your very best,” Attentive Eye informed before going into greater detail on all that would go into tonight’s appointments.
Out of habit, Thomas immediately tuned the secretary out. Schedule or no, his job was to follow Luna around, speak only when spoken to until they were in private, and look like he had a reason to be there other than as the Princess’ play thing. That was all he needed to know. So he did what he always did in the early evening to pass the time and addressed the guard. “How’s it going, Swift Scabbard?”
The black guard with a swinging sword for a cutie mark tilted his head in a greeting. He was a bat pony, a pegasus with bat-like wings instead of feather ones, along with long tuft ears, yellow slit eyes, and fangs. Apparently they were a fourth tribe of ponies who had come to Equestria after the first three had established themselves, but were less welcomed because of their omnivorous and nocturnal natures. Unsurprisingly, with the coming of the royal sisters, they went on to identify more with Luna than Celestia. As such, there were a lot of them in the night court. More seemed to arrive every night, eager for the opportunity to do anything to serve the Princess of the Night.
“7:30 and all’s well,” Swift Scabbard said as he always did at the beginning of their conversations. “Heard you had your first day off last night. Do anything special?”
“Went shopping in Canterlot with a couple friends,” Thomas shrugged. “Talon from Celestia’s harem, along with my own personal guard,” he gestured over to Moonlight Shield.
Keeping his pace with the Princess, Swift craned his head to look at Moonlight and gave a half smile, flashing his fangs just a little. “Enjoy your first assignment from the Princess, soldier?”
“I have no complaints,” Moonlight replied confidently. “Sir Thomas is a fine stallion and shall come to no harm under my watch.”
“I notice the Sir counted you among his friends,” Swift observed.
Moonlight became visibly nervous at this. “Sir Thomas is most friendly, but I can assure you that I did my duty and never left his side.”
“Don’t worry there, private. You’re not in trouble,” Swift assured. “It’s important for a guard to have a positive relationship with his or her VIP. Just try and remember the regs on fraternization and you’ll be fine.”
“Understood,” Moonlight acknowledged.
Thomas’ gaze lingered on Moonlight a while as he wondered what Swift Scabbard was suggesting. He’d have to talk to her about it later.
Once they arrived at the dining hall, Luna took her seat at the head of the table to the right of her sister. Cadence’s seat to Celestia’s left was noticeably vacant. As the Princesses sat side by side, it was hard not to compare the two. Celestia was a full foot taller than her younger sister, making her the tallest and most imposing creature Thomas had ever seen. She wore a white dress with gold trim that hugged flatteringly to her supple body. The Princess of the Sun had a much fuller figure. By no means was she overweight, but years of a fondness for cake had padded her breasts, rear, and thighs in all the right ways. Thomas quickly averted his gaze to the chandelier above to prevent himself from imagining what it’d be like to serve as cushion under the massive, as Talon said, Sunbutt, and whether or not he could even survive such an ordeal.
Luna’s entourage disbanded and took up new positions around the table. Swift Scabbard took his post behind Luna and next to Celestia’s house guard. Since the hall was so empty in the early hours of the evening, seating arrangements were much less formal, so the attendants sat a fair ways down the table where they could speak among themselves, but not so far that they’d be out of earshot if Luna summoned them. Since there were no important dignitaries or nobles fighting to sit near the Princesses, Thomas sat directly to Luna’s right, after an extra cushion had been placed down so that he didn’t look so small. Moonlight stood behind him. On Celestia’s side of the table sat a few mares and stallions who Thomas recognized from the Princess’ harem, including Talon, though he still struggled to remember the others’ names.
Before anything else could be done, Celestia gave a light cough which signaled Talon to stand and address Thomas directly.
“About yesterday, Thomas,” she began as her face contorted in a rather peculiar expression. “It was wrong of me to p-pressure you into saying such things. P-please forgive me,” Talon asked while breathing heavily. The other members of Celestia’s harem took great strides to stifle their snickering at her mysterious discomfort.
“Um,” Thomas hesitated as he looked to Luna, but her face remained blank. “You’re forgiven, I guess.”
Talon nodded and then looked to Celestia who nodded in approval. Then the griffon grunted as she took great care to sit back down in her chair, where she let out a sigh of relief. Thomas watched the whole ordeal with great fascination while his mind raced with theories on what just happened and why Talon was in such discomfort.
“Tali?” He asked.
“Don’t worry about it, chimp,” Talon waved her claw dismissively while sweat rolled down the feathers on her head. “There’s ngh… nothing to… ugh, worry about.”
Thomas looked to Sun Dancer, who sat to Celestia’s immediate left, for clarification. The peach unicorn with a purple mane gave a shrug and silently mouthed the words “pu-nish-men-t.” Figuring that this probably wasn’t appropriate talk for breakfast, Thomas instead decided to dig into the plate of bacon, sausage, and half an orange that had just been set in front of him by one of the butlers. All the other ponies and non-ponies at the table were eating fairly normal things like hay, oats with milk, fruits, vegies, and pancakes, all in proportions reasonable for their relative sizes. The Princesses, on the other hand, each had small mountains of food set before them, consisting of all the previously mentioned items and then some. Ruling a kingdom and magically moving the heavenly bodies took a lot of energy.
As comfortable as he was with Princess Luna, Thomas was still very shy around crowds. So until someone addressed him, he’d merely eat his meal in silence while listening to the conversations around him. The guards were, of course, perfectly silent, speaking only when spoken to. The attendants from both courts chatted across the table about various work related complaints. The Princesses discussed the affairs of the kingdom, the progress of Celestia’s number one student, and a few whispers and giggles regarding the absent Cadence and Shining Armor. Thomas had seen relatively little of the pair in question, but they were quite cordial on the few occasions they had to talk with him.
Celestia’s concubines were by far the loudest at the table, laughing and cheering over the tiniest thing. Most of their various conversations revolved around their families, which Thomas had never paid much attention to until now. As Talon said, most of them seemed to be married and had children. They talked about how their kids, or rather foals, were doing at school, things they did with their spouses, and plans for what to do with upcoming vacations. There were no mentions of workplace grievances, but that was most likely due to being in earshot of their bosses.
Speaking of bosses, Celestia chimed into their conversations on multiple occasions. No one stuttered or tried to compose themselves as usually happened when addressed by royalty. Celestia’s harem welcomed or dismissed her opinions at their leisure, as if she weren’t the diarch of a great kingdom and goddess of the sun. The members of the harem even encouraged the shy Luna to join in, treating her with the friendliness and light jabbing that one would expect between cousins or in-laws. Despite her own reservation around crowds, it did not take Luna long to get sucked into their welcoming environment and begin laughing with the rest of them as easily as if she’d reunited with old friends.
Listening to it all, Thomas couldn’t help but be a little envious. They all seemed like the best of friends and had each other’s backs, like some strange amalgamation of a family. Most likely, years of drunken orgies had the effect of breaking down all barriers. They knew everything about one another. Thomas had never had so many friends before in his life and was never even all that close with his extended family. On the other hand, or perhaps hoof, the idea of having sex with other males, even if they were only watching, made Thomas cringe. There was no way he’d be willing to actually join in on the things he’d heard these ponies get up to.
As if sensing Thomas’ feelings of neglect, Talon overcame whatever was continuing to cause her such discomfort and said “So, chimp. Do anything with the clothes I bought you yesterday?”
Thomas looked up, suddenly remembering his debt to the griffon. “No, and I’m sorry, Tali. I forgot to set out what I owe you. Do you think you could wait till morning when Luna and I get back from Canterlot?”
“Sure thing,” Talon shrugged casually. “It’s no trouble at all… but I’m gonna have to start charging ya interest.”
“Interest!?” Thomas said in surprise. “You never said anything about interest.”
“I never said anything about no interest either, did I?” Talon said tauntingly.
“Best pony up and pay her back,” advised Steel Hoof, resident minotaur in Celestia’s harem and probably the only being that didn’t need to adjust his height to meet Luna on eye level. “Blood sucker spotted me a bit to pay for a new couch. But when I couldn’t pay her back right away… let’s just say you’ll save yourself a lot of humiliation if you just suck it up get it over with.”
“Didn’t you use that line on me last night?” asked a tan earth mare beside the minotaur as she lightly elbowed his side. Thomas thought her name was Wild Burst, but he’d never been all that great at names.
“No,” corrected a pegasus stallion named Red Amber. “He told you to take a breath and then to get it over with.”
“Actually, that’s what you told me,” Steel Hoof told Red.
“Oh yeah,” Red laughed, which quickly spread around the table.
“Pay those weirdos no mind,” Talon called attention back to herself. “I can assure you my rates are very generous. You can pay me back whenever.”
Thomas glared at the griffon. “I think I’ll just bite the bullet and get it over with tonight.”
“That’s what she said,” called one of the other stallions to a renewed series of snickers.
**********
“He’s coming along nicely,” Luna whispered as she watched Thomas cautiously laugh with the members of her sister’s harem. Her voice was so soft that none but those with the exceptional hearing of an alicorn could hear.
“I should say so,” Celestia agreed in a similar whisper. “It is good to see him come out of his shell and start making connections with other ponies.”
“Verily,” Luna proclaimed quietly. “Tis the least he deserves after being there for us.”
Celestia hesitated before speaking with a forced smile. “It’s been so long since you’ve had a companion such as him. I’m grateful that you’ve found each other and that he’s helped you through this tough transition.”
Luna met her sister’s eyes and smiled warmly. “There is no need to concern thyself, sister. We understand why what thou did was necessary. Thou hath apologized and we have forgiven. Can we not simply leave the past behind us and move on to better days?”
If Celestia hadn’t spent centuries mastering the art of perfect control over all facial muscles, she’d have shed a tear just then. But having gone through similar training, Luna was able to catch the subtle twitches in her sister’s face. The younger sister reached out her hand, which the older took with a sigh of relief.
“Besides, was it not thou who suggested we take him to bed?” Luna asked with a smile.
Celestia nodded, grateful for the change of subject. “What can I say? The two of you were simply meant for each other, and you look so cute together,” Celestia shared a giggle with her sister at the private joke. “And you’re welcome, by the way. However, there is a matter I have been wondering about.”
“And that is?”
“While you two were meant to be together, do you not think you might have rushed him to bed?”
Luna deadpanned. “Sister. We have not had any measure of satisfaction in a millennium. Thou shalt forgive us for being somewhat eager with such an adorable stallion such as he.”
“Point taken,” Celestia nodded gently. “I was just making sure you were both happy.”
“We are, and we thank thee for thy concern, sister,” Luna nodded appreciatively. “On similar matter, we were wondering about the guard Moonlight Shield,” she gestured to the guard with her eyes. “According to Thomas, her father was a former concubine of yours and she referred to you as her aunt when she was younger, but seems to have dismissed the practice since. We are most curious what makes her different from the others.”
Celestia gave an exasperated sigh. “We can talk about it later, but suffice to say her father didn’t want her to end up like him.”
Luna frowned unsatisfactorily at her sister’s explanation, but agreed to put it off for another time.
“Hello-friend,” the bat pony mare said, slowly enunciating each syllable. “May-I-offer-you-a-cup-of-tea?”
“Hello friend,” Luna repeated carefully. “May… I offer… you a cup of tea?”
“Excellent, Princess. You’re making wonderful progress,” the bat pony mare said.
“Thank you, Sweet Melody,” Luna thanked the bat pony speech therapist sitting across from her.
After breakfast, Luna’s first appointment for the evening was her speech lessons. Sweet Melody had arrived a half hour ago and things seemed to be going smoothly. Sweet was a somewhat pudgy mare with light gray fur, a pink mane with a green stripe, and B-cup breasts. For some reason, Thomas never found her to be attractive enough to be embarrassed by her nudity.
The guards stood facing the door with their backs to the Princess. Attentive Eye sat at her desk between the Princess and the door, scribbling away at various documents of importance. Thomas lay out in his bean bag chair while working through his Daring Do book, which he had previously left on Luna’s desk to save himself the trouble of carrying it around the castle. Occasionally he would peek over the pages to watch Luna chew on each and every syllable her therapist sent her way. She knew lessons well, but still needed the practice in order to get into the habit of ‘speaking with the tongue of a commoner’ by default.
“I just got a bag oh bits,” Luna began before catching her slip. “Wait. No. Let me start over.” The alicorn cleared her throat. “I just got a bag OF bits. Does thou… wait…” her eyes darted over her therapist’s shoulder to the lazy human behind her.
“Sound it out,” Thomas whispered encouragingly, only to dive back into the book when Sweet Melody peeked over her shoulder to scowl at him.
“Perhaps this would be easier without any… distractions,” Sweet Melody suggested.
“No. No,” Luna denied. “I… have… this.” She cleared her throat once more. “I just got a bag of bits. Do YOU want to go to the arcade?”
“Much better,” Sweet Melody complimented before moving on to the next line. It went on this way for several more minutes before they moved on to the singing portion. Apparently singing was an excellent tool for learning a new language.
“I like big flanks and I cannot lie, you otha stallions can’t deny.”
Thomas pressed his face into the book as he struggled not to laugh. Based on the way the guards were fidgeting, they were having similar trouble.
The lesson concluded in another half hour before Sweet Melody packed up her materials. “Well done, Princess,” the naked therapist reached out her hand.
“Thank you so very much, Ms. Melody,” Luna reached down and shook the therapist’s hand gratefully.
“Don’t mention it,” Sweet Melody said with a hint of a blush. “Just keep practicing like I told you. Listen to what other ponies say and pay attention to the context. Try to work the words into every day conversations.”
Thomas got up and offered his own hand to the therapist. “I really appreciate you helping Luna with this and I’d love to do my part to…”
“Didn’t do it for you, ape,” Sweet Melody whispered contemptuously before taking Thomas hand to avoid looking suspicious.
Thomas beamed at Sweet melody with a forced smile, trying desperately to pull his hand from her grasp, which suddenly felt like poison. She seemed to be fighting to hold on to just to spite him. He wouldn’t say anything that might upset Luna or compromise her lessons with what Celestia had said was the finest speech therapist in Canterlot. “Maybe I can be her coach while you’re away,” he suggested as he finally pulled his hand free and discreetly wiped it on the back of his loincloth. “I spend a lot more time with Luna than you do,” he jabbed, “so I can help her practice.”
“I don’t think that would be such a good idea,” Sweet Melody said hesitantly, but still keeping up a forced smile. “The Princess is such an important pony and has so many duties to attend to. It would not be appropriate for an amateur… whatever you are to embarrass her in front of other important ponies.”
“I think this is an excellent idea,” Luna chimed in. “Dearest Thomas is correct that he spends far more time with… me than you do.”
“He’s shown due respect of royal protocols,” Attentive Eye said from her desk. “Just keep him away from the liquor and we shouldn’t have to worry about him making a scene.”
Thomas blushed at the secretary’s words. Did Luna tell her about yesterday, or did she find out on her own?
Luna nodded in affirmation. “We trust he will be most cordial and wait for the right opportunities to correct… my errors. After all, it was by his advice that… I began these lessons in the first place.”
Sweet Melody looked up at the Princess, smiling much more sincerely. She looked like she wanted to argue, but the speech therapist was ironically unable to find the words. “As you say, Princess.” Then the therapist collected everything in her bags and left.
Stupid bitch of a bat horse. Thomas thought angrily. What the hell was her problem?
“Are you… alright?” Luna asked as she walked up to Thomas side.
“It’s nothing,” Thomas denied. “Just happy to have you back to myself.”
Luna raised an eyebrow skeptically, but then leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Verily, er, very well. Then we shall away to Canterlot. Wait… I shall away to Canterlot.”
“No. It was fine the first time,” Thomas corrected. “You were saying ‘we’ in the plural sense, like how all of us are going with you.”
“Ah,” Luna nodded. “You are taking to… your new duties most diligently. Then let us away,” she proclaimed and lead the way out of the room while the guards followed close behind.
“Don’t pay her much mind,” Attentive Eye said quietly as Thomas walked past her.
“Pardon?”
“Some ponies can be most unpleasant for no good reason,” Attentive Eye explained as she kept her focus on the stack of papers. “I suspect Ms. Melody has an attraction to the Princess and is jealous that her affections are being given away to a foreign stallion.”
“You think that’s what’s going on?” Thomas asked.
“Bat ponies in particular have a history of being protective of the Princess. They all but went into self-imposed exile at her banishment and it took Celestia three centuries to repair relations.”
Thomas stared at the mare, shamed by his ignorance of such a deep history. “I didn’t know.”
“The sooner you help the Princess with her speech practice, the sooner you won’t have to worry about it,” Attentive Eye advised as she moved to the next section of papers.
“Thanks,” Thomas nodded, but when the secretary gave no response, he jogged out of the room to catch up with the Princess’ entourage.
**********
Thomas sat beside the Princess in her royal carriage. The vehicle was adorned with Luna’s colors and cutie mark and spackled with amethysts and sapphires. The inside was completely coated in red velvet. Luna wore a lovely sparkling gown while Thomas wore one of the fancier pairs of shorts he’d bought, thankfully with the hole in the back sewed up, but not a shirt at Luna’s request. Moonlight Shield and Swift Scabbard sitting across from their VIPs. Two more guards, unarmored so as to be able to move about without drawing attention to themselves, followed in a civilian carriage. No pony expected anything to really happen, so four guards was an acceptably light force for such an outing.
“Moonlight Shield,” Luna greeted to the mare sitting across from her.
To her credit, the guard didn’t flinch. “Yes, your Highness.”
“You were hoof chosen by Captain Armor and Lady Attentive for the task of guarding our dearest little human,” Luna reached down and took Thomas hand in her own. “How are… you taking to your assignment?”
“I am proud to have been assigned a duty of such importance, your Highness.”
“Really?” Luna asked curiously. “But he is merely our Senior Concubine. Did you know that not even our sister’s…” a light tap against her thigh gave the Princess pause. “That not even MY sister’s Senior Concubine has her own personal guard at all times?”
“I was informed about it last night, your Highness,” Moonlight answered.
“Then tell me, why art thou,” tap, “are you proud of such a task?”
Moonlight took a moment to answer. “Because the order was at your request, your Highness. I am proud to carry out a task that is of personal importance to you.”
Thomas looked up to see Luna smile at that answer. It was heartwarming to see how elated the Princess looked at receiving the love she’d felt was denied her a millennium ago. Virtually everyone who’d spent even a few minutes in Luna’s presence gave her the same reverence as her sister. She was an alicorn who stood above all those around her. It was only when she and Celestia stood side by side when Luna ever looked small.
The remainder of the carriage ride was consumed with Moonlight, at Luna’s request, giving a detailed report of what all they discussed the previous night, including Talon’s advice for Thomas to get in shape so he can better meet the Princess’ needs. Luna’s ears perked when Moonlight brought up that she was the daughter of a former concubine, but didn’t find the matter important enough to elaborate and the alicorn, seemingly in disappointment, did not press for details. The Princess even apologized to Thomas for not telling him about herds. “It was our,” tap, “my responsibility to inform you on such matters. After all, in a way, you are a member of my herd.”
“Your what now?”
A sudden jostling from the carriage killed Thomas’ train of thought as they arrived in Canterlot Square. The royal entourage disembarked and was met with a greeter who led them to the museum. It was a large marble building with Roman style columns colored white and violet. The museum was not actually dedicated solely to Luna, but had a newly constructed wing added to a museum dedicated to Princess Celestia. The new title of the facility was ‘The Museum of the Royal Sisters’.
Thomas stood off to the side, partially hidden by Moonlight Shield, as he watched the Princess take her place at the top of the Museum’s steps while an impressively sizable crowd anxiously waited at the bottom. Thomas caught sight of the unarmored guards moving through the mass of bodies, looking for anything suspicious. Luna was fully composed as she smiled, gave a brief speech, and took a pair of comically oversized scissors to cut the ribbon, signaling the opening of the new wing.
Of course it wouldn’t be a celebrity opening without said celebrity being offered a tour. The entourage was led throughout the wing while guards and museum security kept the civilians at a respectful distance. The museum curator, a light yellow unicorn mare in a long black dress, acted as guide and excitedly explained the exhibits.
Thomas was allowed to return to the Princess’ side where he assured himself that all the stares from the surrounding ponies were directed at the Princess and not the half-naked human by her side. However, this did not stop him from catching the eyes of the surrounding ponies before they quickly looked away. He felt them glare, judging him, sizing him up for… something. Thankfully he wasn’t wearing his uniform, suddenly realizing how dangerous it might have been if he’d gone out in it last night without protection. Even with the Princess and guards nearby, Thomas couldn’t help but feel uneasy.
The first exhibit they saw before arriving at the wing was a portrait of Luna and Celestia meeting the newly unified pony tribes and being welcomed as leaders of the newly built nation. The wing of the museum was colored the same as Luna’s wing in the castle. Portraits and sculptures lined the walls with depictions of Luna both before and after her banishment. Unfortunately, most of them depicted Nightmare Moon terrorizing the dreams of little ponies, as imagined by the artists of the time. Even the curator seemed uncomfortable explaining those particular pieces.
Thomas casually bumped the Princess’ side with his shoulder to let her know that he was there for whatever she needed. She casually tapped his shoulder with the back of her hand to let him know that the message was received and appreciated. The gestures were subtle enough that no pony even noticed.
All in all, the tour was fairly uneventful and lasted less than an hour. The only moment of note was when they came upon Luna’s old armor from the brief war with Sombra and the guide explained that the wicked King’s magic banished the Crystal Empire forever. Thomas had given the Princess a sly look which she returned. Other than that, Luna listened quietly with only the occasional comment. When it was over, the curator thanked the Princess for her time and invited her back at a later time when they had more exhibits.
Upon exiting the museum, the Princess blushed as her stomach made an audible grumbling sound. Their next stop was set.
Luna had elected to walk the rest of the way to their next destination, holding Thomas’ hand the entire time. The human felt like a child being escorted by his mother with how high his elbow had to be due to their height difference. He did his best to voice his discomfort to the Princess using only his eyes, only to flinch as he felt a magical tingle on his rump followed by a quick pinch. Thomas stifled a yelp while the Princess merely smiled at his expense.
“You know you don’t have to enjoy humiliating me that much, right?” Thomas asked sardonically.
“Humiliation? What ever could you mean, dearest Thomas?” Luna asked while wearing a guilty smile.
The human stared up at the alicorn as her great form blocked out the lights overhead. She was imposing, but he was not afraid. “Just remember the last time this happened. The war kept escalating until I paid you back tenfold.”
“Dearest Thomas,” Luna laughed. “If we…”
“I.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you just issued a threat to the diarch of all Equestria.”
“And if I did?” Thomas asked daringly.
Luna’s eyes flared as she returned the challenge. “Then I would remind you of three weeks ago and who it was who really stood victorious come the dawn.”
“You could stand after that? My legs were sore for three days.”
“Thy suffering would have been lessened if you had only allowed us to carry you,” Luna said in mock concern.
“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response,” Thomas scoffed. “And its ‘your’, not ‘thy’,” he corrected as they approached their destination.
The restaurant’s title shone in dark green neon letters ‘Midnight Grill’s Grill’. The whole of the entrance was mobbed by ponies in fancy attire, ready to be seen at their best in the presence of the Princess.
“Now I really feel underdressed,” Thomas indicated his shorts. “Between a museum and a fancy restaurant, maybe I should have worn something more appropriate, or at least put on a shirt.”
“Nonsense,” Luna countered. “You look most dashing as you are. Besides, as this generation says, you are on the clock. It is your duty to satisfy your Princess. And your Princess would be most satisfied if she were to be escorted to lunch by such a dashing and scantily dressed young lad.”
“This is part of my punishment for yesterday, isn’t it?” Thomas stated as fact.
“Tis entirely possible,” Luna commented casually.
Thomas gave the Princess an affectionate nudge and they pressed on.
As soon as they arrived a dark brown unicorn stallion dressed in a fancy suit with no bottoms walked up to the Princess and greeted her warmly. “Princess,” he bowed. “My name is Midnight Grill the fourth. It is such an honor to have royalty grace my humble restaurant as my very first customer.”
Luna extended her free hand which Midnight Grill kissed. “The pleasure is… mine, Mr. Grill,” she thanked just as warmly.
“We have a booth already set up for you,” Grill motioned towards the restaurant before his eyes landed on Thomas. “Forgive me, Princess, but I’m afraid our fine establishment doesn’t allow pets.”
Luna’s expression went cold and Thomas felt her grip on his hand tighten. She looked like she wanted to say something, but Swift Scabbard stepped ahead of her and whispered into Grill’s ear. The brown stallion’s fur paled at the guard’s words as his eyes crawled up and down Thomas’ body.
“My deepest apologies, Princess,” Grill bowed with apologetic fervor. “I did not know that that… he was your companion. Of course all in the service of the Princess of the Night are welcome at Midnight Grill’s Grill.”
“Excellent,” Luna nodded, but her tone betrayed that she was still upset by the comment. “I trust you to show my companion and I to our table.”
“But of course,” Grill nodded and lead the way while narrating the restaurant’s history. “Midnight Grill’s Grill was actually started in Las Pegasus more than a hundred years ago by my great grandfather, Midnight Grill the first.” He waved his hand at the spacious hall before them with its ivory colored pillars, classy chandelier, and slight touches of moss here and there for a rustic look. “Our fine establishment is rated with four platinum stars with dozens of facilities across Equestria. This is actually the grand re-opening of our original Canterlot restaurant in honor of your Highness.”
“Dearest Thomas,” Luna interrupted. “Do you have any thoughts on this little eatery?”
Thomas watched the brown stallion twitch nervously before looking up at Luna. “It’s very big. Kinda looks like the royal dining hall to be honest.”
“That is no coincidence,” Grill assured. “Our new facility was actually based off…” He paused when Luna held up his hand to silence him.
“Please, dearest Thomas. We are most interested in hearing your true opinion.”
“It seems like associating with Princess Luna has become very trendy lately,” he explained. “It sounds as though he’s just jumping on the bandwagon, using your name to drive up attendance. It’s actually a pretty good marketing ploy, to be honest.” Thomas answered as they arrived at the booth.
It was on the third floor of the restaurant, which was a large ring with a view overlooking those below, obviously the VIP section considering the bouncers at the stairs to ensure ponies stuck to their respective stations. The table was round in shape and seemed quite large compared to the others in the upper ring, though they were distanced quite far from this one. Considering the height of the rounded seat and table, the booth also seemed fit to hold all three Princesses and probably a few others; no doubt it had been adjusted specifically for this purpose. However, tonight it was only set for two with white plates, each with red napkins holding the silverware set next to them.
The two armored guards took up their posts on either side of the booth, with Moonlight Shield to the right and Swift Scabbard to the left. Thomas gentlemanly held out his hands to gesture for Luna to slide in ahead of him, since there were no chairs to pull out, and then took his seat to her right. It was incredibly awkward with Luna being so tall and Thomas being so short compared to what the seat and table were designed for. The awkwardness was not lost on Midnight Grill who was visibly shaking.
“I do believe my companion is in need of an extra pillow,” Luna said to no one in particular.
“At once, my Princess,” Grill bowed before running off to the back of the restaurant.
“And we should like to enjoy a quiet meal without being disturbed.”
The guards nodded in acknowledgement.
There was a brief period of silence before Thomas felt comfortable enough to ask “Luna?”
She didn’t answer right away.
“I’m sorry.”
“Whatever for?” She asked flatly. “You were honest in your opinion. And upon reflection, we are inclined to believe your theory to be accurate. But it is no matter.”
“Luna?”
“It is only inevitable that ponies would once again seek to use us for their own gain. Twas the same in days long ago and there is no reason to believe the days to come would be any different. It’s honestly a bit refreshing to encounter such familiar habits from our subjects.” Luna smiled down at Thomas. “Do not fret, my faithful consort. We are not so terribly offended at being used for, as you say, a marketing ploy.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“It pains us to see you suffer such disrespect.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Thomas took hold of the Princess’ arm and pressed himself against her. “Some ponies can be jerks for no good reason, but it really doesn’t bother me that much.”
“Truly?”
“I’d be lying if I said I weren’t thinking about ways to humiliate the little prick as punishment,” Thomas chuckled. “But that’d just ruin the evening. You and me are here to have a nice lunch together, so that’s what we need to focus on,” he said for his own sake as much as for Luna’s.
“Verily,” Luna proclaimed quietly before she leaned down and pressed her warm lips against his.
“What flavor is that?” Thomas asked as he wiped his tongue across his own lips to taste Luna’s lipstick. “Chocolate? Wait…” he said as he leaned upward to get a better look at the Princess’ muzzle. “You aren’t wearing lipstick.”
Luna averted her gaze guiltily as Thomas leered up at her. “Tis not our fault that we stumbled across one of our sister’s emergency cake stashes and decided to… relieve her of the temptation. After all, her flank does not need the extra padding.” Luna let out a soft yelp at suddenly being goosed by the human beside her. She stared down in awe at his audacity.
Thomas stared down at his fingers as if to examine what he’d just touched. “Fair enough,” he agreed nonchalantly. “You could afford a little extra cushion down there anyway. I say this from professional experience.”
Indignant, Luna pushed Thomas down into the soft cushioning of the empty seats to his right. Smiling, the human sat himself up and was about to lightly push the Princess right back. However, a quick glance at the surrounding nobility eyeing him up served as a reminder that he needed to compose himself and not make a scene. Almost thankfully, Midnight Grill’s return with the extra pillows sobered up the mood. The pillows were enough to put Thomas hip to hip with the Princess so at least he didn’t need to strain himself to reach the plate.
“If that is all, I shall fetch your waiter so that you may make your orders.”
Luna nodded and dismissed him. The waitress, a young mocha unicorn, wearing a frilly maid uniform that made her look like one of the royal maids, followed seconds later and was clearly nervous. “G-g-greetings, P-Princess,” she stuttered as she handed the couple their menus. “M-my name is Mocha Mug. M-may I start you off w-with a non-alcoholic cider?”
Thomas grimaced and shook his head. If I’d remembered there were two kinds of cider, I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble with Luna last night. Not gonna happen this time. “Just regular apple juice for me.”
Mocha practically jumped when Thomas spoke up. “I-I’m sorry… uh, sir? I didn’t see you there.”
“No worries,” Thomas held up his hand to stop her stuttering. “Obviously you were distracted by the tall glass of grape juice beside me.”
“Ummmmm…” Mocha froze as her faced turned a bright shade of pink.
“Grape juice sounds nice, actually,” Luna startled the waitress back to reality. “And bring something for the guards as well. They should appreciate the snack and refreshments.”
“Y-yes, Princess. I’ll be back with your drinks in just a moment.” Mocha promised before confronting both guards individually and galloping off.
“Glass of grape juice?” Luna asked inquisitively.
“Tall glass of water is slang for a pretty girl,” Thomas explained. “But then I remembered you’re colored more like a grape than water so…”
“In all our many centuries in this world, this may be the first time we have ever been compared to a grape,” Luna noted.
“Our? We?” Thomas pointed out.
Luna’s face scrunched up. “YOU know,” she emphasized, “this is becoming most irksome.”
“Consider it payback for all the times you went out of your way to embarrass me.”
Before Luna could retort Mocha Mug teleported to the front of their table and handed them their drinks. “M-may I take your orders, now?”
Thomas and Luna exchanged looks. “Sorry,” Thomas apologized. “Can you give us a few minutes to look at the menus?”
“Of course. M-my apologies,” Mocha Mug bowed. “If I might make a few suggestions, we have a lovely bouquet option where you can choose from dozens of flower options.”
“That sounds most delicious,” Luna said with a lick of the lips as she read the description in the menu. “But I’m afraid my companion here cannot digest such plants. Pray tell, is there an option for omnivores?”
Mocha Mug took a moment to think and then grinned. “That would be on pages seven and eight.” She paused as she waited for Thomas to turn the page. “Since our first chain opened up so close to the Griffon Kingdom, Midnight Grill’s Grill prides itself on being accessible to all Equestrian species and we always keep a little meat in stock.”
“Not bad,” Thomas complimented as he read his options. “I think I’ll have the baked salmon with a side of raw broccoli.”
“And we shall have the bouquet of daisies, carnation, and lilacs,” Luna added. “We shall also have four of the super salads with extra carrots, three hay burgers, a large tail feather soup, and… a side of apple fritters.”
Momentarily dumbstruck by the volume of Luna’s request, Mocha Mug quickly wrote down their orders and departed in a blink of light.
“Was it necessary for her to be teleporting like that? Won’t that be dangerous if she does that in a crowded restaurant?” Thomas motioned ahead of them. Since Luna’s arrival, ponies had begun pouring into the restaurant in droves, all clamoring for the seats closest to the Princess but the guards held them back through sheer force of will.
“She is merely nervous at meeting a Princess for the first time,” Luna enlightened. “If memory serves, thou were not much better at our first meeting.”
Luna and Thomas barely had any time to wait before their orders were brought out. No doubt the kitchen staff gave priority to royalty. The armored guards were brought their snacks and waters soon after while those out of armor at the surrounding tables waited patiently for their meals to be brought out normally.
After their meals had been largely finished, Luna leaned forward with eyes closed and propped herself up on her elbows on the table. Thomas gently rubbed the Princess’ thigh in her meditation. Luna was presently engaging in astral projection, a form of meditation where her consciousness leaves her body and enters the dream realm. Time moved differently in dreams, allowing the Princess to enter periodically every few hours or so and keep up with her other duties in the physical realm. She’d spend a few minutes surveying the dreams of ponies across Equestria then return back to whatever she’d been doing.
“That was a short trip,” Thomas commented once Luna returned from her trance.
“Few nightmares tonight.”
“Always a good sign. So how’s your writing coming along?” Thomas asked. “It’s been a while since you let me read any of your stories.”
“Alas, it has not,” Luna confessed as she took a bite out of a lilac. “I have encountered an old foe and have not been able to overcome him for quite some time.”
“Writer’s block?” Thomas asked as he carved up a piece of fish.
“The old wretch hasn’t relented in some time,” Luna nodded. “I have been unable to compose a satisfying string of words for when the ranger learns that the filly he saved turns out to be a changeling.”
Thomas nodded. “And yet I notice you’ve been writing as vigorously as ever.”
“Oh. That is a result of one of sister Celestia’s suggestions,” Luna paused to build suspense. “We have been responding to letters from our subjects.”
“Fan mail?”
“We suppose you could call it that.”
“Anything good?”
“Lady Attentive Eye has a team of respondents that deals with more serious business and screens out all the junk mail,” Luna noted with a hint of relief before continuing. “Due to the nature of the night court and the growth of Equestria in our absence, many ponies are unable to meet with us in person.”
“You know I’ve been holding back on the corrections, right?”
Luna’s ear twitched as she glared down at the human. “I suspected as much. Anyway, Celestia says that she has been taking letters from ponies for centuries and it has proven a most effective means of keeping in touch with the citizenry.”
“That sounds nice. So do ponies write you letters just to ask you questions, or what?”
“Tis mostly questions, yes,” Luna swallowed a carnation before continuing. “Ponies seeking advice to problems both great and mundane. This colt is concerned about his cutie mark. That filly is anxious about an upcoming math test. So many worries about financial difficulties and relationship issues. Tis nice to offer aid and connect with, to borrow a phrase from sister, our little ponies, but the rare gem is the letter from a pony with no particular problems and merely a desire to talk.”
“Any pony I know?”
“Doubtful,” Luna scoffed. “You could count the number of ponies you know on your fingers. Or has that changed since the last time we checked?”
“It has not changed since the last time YOU checked,” Thomas answered with a mockingly posh tone. “And I am trying to get out more.”
“Mm hm,” Luna nodded, clearly unconvinced.
“Whatever. So tell me about your pen pal.”
“Pen pals,” Luna corrected. “Tis plural for there are several. Just yesterday we heard from Shaken Juice, a filly from Fillydelphia that she got her cutie mark in making juice.”
“What a surprise,” Thomas said in mock elation. “A pony’s cutie mark and special talent matching their name.”
“I don’t see why this upsets you so,” Luna expressed.
“I’m not upset,” Thomas asserted. “It’s just a little frustrating when I’m the only one who seems to notice that the names correspond with the talents almost every single time. In fact, forget the almost. I have yet to see an exception to this rule.”
“Oh hush, you,” Luna bumped Thomas shoulder. “The little dear was so happy in her letter that her hoof writing left much to be desired. But from what we were able to discern, she is to begin her formal apprenticeship in her family’s juice business next week.”
“Hoof writing,” Thomas said sarcastically to himself while he waved his fingers in front of his face, but Luna didn’t catch the hint.
“We, er, I also engage in correspondence with leaders of other nations. Tis quite pleasant to be able to discuss the burdens of ruling with peers other than Tia and niece Cadence. I also write to Twilight Sparkle, but enough of pen pals. Thou,” tap, “you can read their letters at another time if you so wish. For now, let us return to our date.”
“So you admit this is a date?” Thomas asked leadingly.
Luna glared mischievously. “Dare to again accuse us of abusing our power or of forgetting that we have weekends free, just to go on a date with thou of all things, and we shall reenact the events of one thousand years ago and banish thee to our personal moon.”
Thomas set his elbow on the table and laid his face in his hand, beaming at the Princess with utmost daring. “You might as well threaten to force feed cake to your sister.”
Luna retaliated with a vicious tickle attack. However, the Princess was so eager that she let her guard down, leaving Thomas open access to her sides and belly. The pair struggled not only to overpower one another, but also stifle their own laughter so as not to disturb the other patrons. Alas, as on earth, a celebrity so much as sneezing in public is seized upon by trashy so-called journalists. A tickle fight between the Princess and her alien companion would have been a gold mine, were it not for the illusion spell cast on the pair earlier to make it look like they were doing nothing but enjoying a nice and quiet meal together. In the end, all that really mattered was that their faces hurt from laughing so much.
“Thou… art… getting… better,” Luna said between gasps. “You lasted… much longer… than last time.”
“Practice… makes… perfect,” Thomas gasped, recovering his breath much more quickly than the Princess. “But I guess that doesn’t mean much compared to a pony who’s had centuries of practice ahead of me.”
“Verily,” Luna nodded proudly. “Our tickling prowess is unmatched, save one. Be grateful thou did not do battle with our sister. Once provoked, that is a mare who knows no mercy,” she warned with utmost seriousness.
“I’ll take that under advisement,” Thomas said as he finished off the last of his salmon. “If I ever find myself in a position to engage your much larger and stronger sister in a tickle fight, I’ll just walk away.”
“See to it that you do,” Luna said as she finished off the last of her own meal. “Per chance, hast thou,” tap, “have you saved room for dessert?”
Thomas pressed his hand to his stomach to assess his situation. “Not much. Maybe we could split something.”
“Very good.”
When Mocha Mug returned, Luna ordered a cheesecake for the pair to share.
“Tis good,” Luna complimented after taking the first bite.
“It’s better than I remember,” Thomas added after slicing off a piece for himself. “I guess you can’t fault this place on the food.”
“Indeed.”
Luna took one of the two strawberries from atop the cake and held it out for her date. Thomas parted his lips as the Princess gently stroked the strawberry across his opening before pressing it in. Thomas mirrored the action and gently glided the other strawberry along Luna’s lips as she moaned into its soft texture before taking it into her mouth. The pair leaned in close and gazed longingly into one another’s eyes.
“Despite the proprietor’s initial error, this establishment has been most satisfactory. There is but one matter that remains before I feel comfortable giving Midnight Grill’s Grill the royal seal of approval.”
Thomas tilted his head curiously. “Good food, timely service, nice atmosphere, great view… what’s left?” He asked leadingly as he recognized the familiar scent coming off the Princess. Thankfully the illusion kept that sealed away so no one would notice.
“We are curious on the status of their lavatory,” Luna said with a grin. “A… tension has been building and we require… your services.”
Thomas began shoveling the remainder of his cake slice into his mouth. Luna did the same, though much more elegantly. When they finished, Luna instructed Mocha Mug that she needed to use the little filly’s room. The guards, who had finished their meals long ago, stood and escorted the princess to the restroom, clearing it out to make sure that the Princess could use the facilities in private. The last task of the guards was to cast yet another illusion just outside the restroom, this one of Thomas standing idle while the real thing followed Luna inside the pristine facilities.
“Shiny,” Thomas commented approvingly as he looked around the violet tiled walls and ivory white floor. “So do you need to…?” He trailed off.
“Not at this time.” Luna wrapped a wing around the little human and pulled him close. “We confess to a most dubious plan to lure thee away from prying eyes.”
“I guess I have enough room for a bit more… cheesecake,” he grinned up at the Princess.
Bathrooms, especially those in the rich part of town, were notoriously clean. Rather than simply employing janitors, many hired unicorns to cast advanced spells that guided any spills into a drain in the corner while leaving the tile and porcelain thrones completely untouched. They were also serviceably private. All these factors combined made public bathrooms in high class facilities highly desirable for whenever the Princess felt the urge during her outings to the city.
Thomas began by setting out towels for padding around the sinks, which were thankfully attached to cabinets to add to their structural integrity. As soon as he finished, the ground suddenly left him as Luna pulled him into a powerful embrace and pressed her lips against his own. Luna pressed her tongue gently against Thomas’ bottom lip, asking for entrance. He obliged. Their tongues danced in one another’s mouths as each tried to eat the lips of the other. Luna’s tongue had the advantage in size and casually pushed his aside as it explored every corner of his mouth. Thomas moaned joyfully into Luna’s maw as he enjoyed the taste of semi-fresh cheesecake mixed with her own natural flavor.
Luna adjusted her hands so that one was pressed against the human’s back while the other removed his shorts, letting them fall to the ground as she began grasping his buttocks. Not one to be outmatched so easily, Thomas reached beneath Luna’s dress and began groping her breasts. Remembering the burdensome fabric, the dress was suddenly enveloped in an aura of blue magic, flying off her body and landing upon one of the stalls. The pair moaned passionately into each other’s mouths until the Princess broke their kiss with a wet pop, sighing in joy as she set the naked human atop the sink. Both human and alicorn inhaled deeply through the nose as they drank in the scent of each other’s arousal.
Luna got to her knees and propped herself up on the sink wall as her teal eyes gazed hungrily at her prize. Thomas was fully erect and already leaking pre cum.
“For us?” Luna asked teasingly. “Thou shouldn’t have.” She stuck her tongue out and gently lapped up the clear liquid, tasting it as one would a scoop of ice-cream. Luna swirled her tongue around the end up the shaft, pelting the sex organ with her hot breath while she took another long whiff of his masculine musk.
“I love your mouth,” Thomas blurted.
Tragically, time was of the essence, so they could not engage in their usual level of foreplay. Luna lifted Thomas off the sink and motioned for him to move behind her. Luna raised her tail and invitingly presented her glorious plot and sex. Thomas fell to his own knees on the towels directly behind Luna and reached out for the royal bottom, unable to resist giving her massive cheeks a firm squeeze.
Luna let out a low whimper at his familiar touch. “T-T-Thomas!”
Luna knew he liked her rear, but he always seemed eager to remind her every chance he got. She let her lover play with her royal buns as long as he wanted, knowing that soon there would be much more. The Princess of the Night gasped as she felt him spread her cheeks apart. He went on to press himself into her royal crack, rubbing himself up and down upon it and occasionally taking a sniff of her arousal.
Thomas felt the heat rising up from the Princess’ pussy, which only drove him wilder as he started lining the top of her buttocks with a mix of licks and kisses. “The most delicious plot in the world, and it’s all mine,” he moaned into her furred cheeks. His loins were on fire and he knew Luna wasn’t in much better shape as he gently tapped the head of his cock against her slit.
“Thomas,” Luna cried. “As much as we love it when you worship our plot like this, we really must speed this up.” Grunting impatiently, the Princess of the Night reached her hands back and parted her butt cheeks even further, presenting her dark pink tail hole and inadvertently opening her marehood. Exposing herself like this never failed to both embarrass and excite her.
Thomas eventually tore his eyes from the enticing sight of Luna’s pink anus contrasting against the dark fur of her rear and looked up. Luna was facing away from him, but she was looking into a mirror that covered half the wall. The human smiled as he saw the red tint to Luna’s cheeks. Needing no further encouragement, Thomas slapped his hands against Luna’s bottom and pressed his fingers firmly into her cutie mark. Luna whimpered as she felt hands grasp one of the most sensitive areas on a pony’s body, his touch sending bolts of electricity through her body. Thomas firmly kneaded the soft flesh within his grasp as he lined himself up with the Princess’ back door, just above her moistening sex. Licking his lips, he pressed the head of his cock at her entrance. Her cherry was like a cherry between two mounds of blueberry ice-cream, but he fought the urge to take the next step as he looked up to Luna’s anxious reflection.
“Princess?”
“Buck me! Give my blue plot what it deservvvvvvves!”
Luna cried, unable to finish before Thomas slammed the full length of his cock into her rear with an audible squelching sound, completely sheathing his meat between her buns. The light coating of saliva was all the lubrication he needed to breach her entrance, but a lubrication spell was quickly added to ensure continued pleasure. Thomas matched Luna’s moan as he felt Luna’s anal cavity clench around his member as if it didn’t want to let go. He could feel her insides adjust to accommodate his member, welcoming it back after being away for so long. With painful slowness, Thomas pulled himself from the welcoming insides, only to hilt himself back in with a loud smack.
“Luna,” Thomas grunted as he closed his eyes. “Your ass is so tight. I love it!”
“We love it,” Luna gasped, “when thou loves the royal plot.”
“Your ass is so tight,” Thomas gasped. “It’s like it’s trying to hold on to me and never let go.”
Luna cried out in ecstasy as her lover squeezed her cutie marks on her flanks and slammed into her once again, their bodies slapping against each other with an obscene wet smacking sound. Luna bucked her hips back into the thrust as Thomas leaned his torso onto her lower back, flattening her tail in an effort to support himself and keep from being bucked off as he rammed into Luna at an increasing pace. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw that her tongue was hanging out as she panted like bitch in heat. The sight of herself in such a lewd state only turned her on more. Her body was on fire as it felt like a long hot coal had been shoved up her rectum, and she loved every bit of it. Without even thinking, her left hand reached up and began massaging her breast while her right hand descended between her legs to give her pussy some much needed attention.
His eyes still sealed shut, Thomas grunted as quietly as he could as he continued to ram like a piston into the alicorn’s rear. No matter how many times they did this, her hot insides never loosened, always clinging tightly around his shaft. With each thrust, Thomas was rewarded with an appreciative moan from the Princess as her bottom quivered around him. Thomas felt like his cock was going to melt inside her as he continued slamming his body into the Princess’ rump, rotating his hips to make sure he touched every square inch of her insides. Despite the lustful haze clouding his mind to all but what he was doing, Thomas was allowed a brief moment of clarity. I’m balls deep in Princess Luna’s perfect ass. Life ain’t that bad.
When he looked up to the mirror, past the alicorn’s flared wings, and saw Luna panting so heavily, it drove him over the edge. Given their size difference, it had often proved tricky for the human to see his lover’s face during sex, which made the mirror all the more priceless. “Can we buy this mirror?” Thomas asked half-jokingly.
Thomas felt Luna’s tight insides constrict even tighter around his cock as it twitched inside her. The Princess of the Night whimpered at the sudden growth within her and bucked her hips back at an even quicker pace while the concubine was trying his hardest to hold back until he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Luna!” The human cried out as he released his seed into alicorn’s asshole.
“Thomas! Cumming!” Luna cried as she felt hot liquid paint her insides and still more fall upon her hand and his thighs. The pair looked into the mirror and watched as their lover’s faces twist in a mix of passion and ecstasy. They had reached the first simultaneous orgasm of the evening, leaving Luna’s anal passage a creamy mess as her human collapsed limply onto her back.
Outside the bathroom, Moonlight Shield and Swift Scabbard were standing at attention. The mare glanced over at the table where the illusion of Thomas was fiddling with a straw. As he prodded the piece of plastic with his tiny fingers, she couldn’t help but imagine what else those fingers might be capable of.
“Ah’hem,” Swift coughed, startling Moonlight. The stallion flared his nostrils a bit and she got the message. She’d allowed her mind to wander and it was arousing her. If even one of the restaurants other patrons caught a whiff of her being turned on while on duty…
Moonlight inhaled deeply to calm herself and clear her thoughts. I’m a guard, a proud member of Princess Luna’s house guard. It would be terribly inappropriate for me to be caught imagining her… and him… No! They are two consenting adults engaging in perfectly acceptable adult activities… secretly… in a public restroom… the immense alicorn looming over Sir Thomas’ small colt-like body, no doubt dominating him to her whims which he most likely enjoyed. No! She shook her head violently. Must focus. Must not let mind wander to the possibility of Princess Luna, nude, blushing with heaving breasts, as she manipulated Thomas’ slender and supple body between her… NO!
**********
Luna had been leaning against the sink counter for nearly five minutes as she regained her breath. Thomas lay draped lifelessly over her lower back and bottom, using her flowing tail as a makeshift pillow as he panted heavily. He’d managed not to slide off her through a combination of sticky sweat, his cock still firmly held in her tail hole, and even her buttocks hugging its lover close.
“Three times,” Luna stated proudly. “Three times in a public restroom.”
“I know,” Thomas gasped, obviously not as recovered as the much older and more experienced mare. “I guess I need another day off to recover more.”
“You’ll live,” Luna chided with a grin as she straightened herself up. She unclenched her bottom and felt Thomas slide to the ground, his member exiting her hole with a soft wet pop. Luna stood to her full height and turned her back to the mirror. To her amusement, her anus was still open, as if shocked to have its companion leave so suddenly. Seeing her lover’s seed begin to fall, Luna’s horn lit as her magic closed up her rear entrance, sealing the warm substance inside. She rolled her rump around and felt the still hot seed slosh inside her and send a new wave of warmth through her body. Lingering a moment in front of the mirror, Luna gave her rump a firm smack and watched it jiggle from the vibrations.
“See anything you like?” Thomas asked between much more even breaths as he sat up.
“Yes, actually,” Luna answered proudly. “The royal flank is quite the sight to behold.”
“She says to the only other person who probably knows this better than her,” Thomas said to himself with a roll of the eyes.
Luna began laughing. “Indeed. How silly of us to forget just how… acquainted you two are.” She continued to laugh until Thomas couldn’t hold back any longer and joined her.
When the pair had sufficiently recovered, Luna’s horn lit and a small black hole appeared before her. She reached in and pulled out a small spray can that read ‘Insta-Clean’. It was a form of liquid magic that operated along similar rules to the enchantment that kept the bathroom clean, instantly expelling unwanted odors, liquids, and other things from the body. The reason such a product hadn’t become more popular was because it was ridiculously expensive. Thomas once heard a guard comment that a single can would cost him three month’s pay. Essentially, the product that only the rich could afford was used to help the rich engage in dubious behavior without getting caught as easily.
Luna gave herself a thorough spray down before beckoning Thomas over. The human stood with his arms out and legs parted in preparation for his treatment. “I still think I can do this myself.”
“Nonsense,” Luna dismissed as she began spraying around his torso. “Thou can barely stand still. Clearly thou art still too fatigued to properly clean thyself. And was it not thee who complained about being embarrassed? How embarrassed will ye be to be surrounded by mares and stallions able to smell thy pungent aroma?” For emphasis, she began spraying around his groin. “Besides,” she said before taking a deep inhale through her nose. “This scent belongs to Luna.”
Thomas gave a conceding huff and stood silently while the Princess continued her work. When they were both clean, Luna tossed the can back into her pocket dimension before retrieving her dress. A pocket dimension is a hole in reality that the unicorn, or alicorn, could summon up wherever they were in need of instant access to storage.
“Why is it that you make me carry your bags around when you shop when you can just toss them in there?” Thomas asked as he slipped on his shorts.
“To put it simply,” Luna began as the dress encased in her magical aura slowly slid down over her. “It makes you look cute.”
“Great,” Thomas groaned. He waited until the dress was snugly back in place before closing the distance to the Princess. “Shall we?” he offered his elbow up to her.
“We shall,” Luna locked her arm with his and they left.
**********
After paying the bill, the guards cleared a way to the exit as Midnight Grill waved them off as they departed the restaurant. The moon was still high in the sky, meaning the night was far from over as Luna’s entourage followed her to their next destination.
“Wasn’t this supposed to be your free period for tonight?” Thomas asked the alicorn.
“Indeed it is,” Luna nodded. “Normally we” tap, “I would normally spend such time… relieving stress, but I think we might have been a bit preemptive back at the restaurant.”
“Premature? Speak for yourself,” Thomas scoffed.
“In any case, I believe I’m in the mood for something a bit more relaxing. Moonlight,” Luna called.
“Yes, Princess,” the guard answered from her position behind the human and alicorn.
“I am lead to believe that you and dearest Thomas ventured to the local park. Dost thou,” tap, “do you remember where it was?”
**********
The walk to the park was uneventful. Away from the lights of the city, the shadows of the trees danced beneath the light of the firefly lamps. The grass smelled freshly cut and there were even a few birds out tonight. While not nearly as lovely as the gardens around the castle, all in all it was a nice and romantic setting.
While the park was much more packed than yesterday, most ponies saw guards and kept their distance. Still Thomas would catch the occasional whisper commenting on the spectacle before them. Most were talking about how good Luna looked and wondered if she were doing anything important. But a few took notice of Thomas and whose arm he was locked with. They wondered what he was, where he came from, and what exactly he did to earn the right to walk hand in hand with the Princess. Others were not so benign, wondering if he was a flat-chested female or an underdeveloped colt, calling him various monkey themed insults, sneering at how such an unattractive thing must surely have been corrupting the Princess somehow. Worst of all were the paparazzi that, while keeping their distance, never ceased their torrent of pictures.
“We’re going to be all over the newspapers tomorrow, aren’t we?” Thomas bemoaned.
“Unlikely,” Luna consoled. “A Princess parading about the capitol with an alien for company shall likely be the focus of media attention for some weeks to come.”
Now painfully aware that every move he made was being documented, Thomas glared up at the Princess out of the corner of his eye. “Was that your plan all along, just to use me to get attention?”
“Oh, dearest Thomas,” Luna shook her head while smiling warmly. “This night was conceived for multiple reasons: a slow schedule to unwind, a lovely outing with a friend, allowing the commoners to become more comfortable with their Princess of the Night, perhaps a little bait for the media, and a number of other things. Tis a refined skill of royalty to plan several steps ahead so as to ensure that things may work out for us in multiple ways.”
Thomas gave Luna a sly grin. “Now’s who’s stealing words from Attentive Eye’s lips?”
“And now who is it that sounds jealous?” Luna retorted playfully.
Before Thomas could come up with a decent rebuttal, a mauve pegasus with a gray mane flew up, only to be blocked by Moonlight Shield. “Princess. Princess.” The stallion called over Moonlight’s shoulder. “Lucky Pen with Canterlot Canter News. Care to share your thoughts on the status of the new night court?”
Luna seemed hesitant at first, but the mention of her night court crushed all skepticism. “I suppose, since you were so well behaved during lunch, the papers have earned a few minutes of ou-my time.”
Thomas nodded approvingly at Luna’s catch before releasing his grip on her arm and elected to stay behind. Swift Scabbard kept his position one step left and two steps behind the Princess, while Moonlight took a step forward to be closer to her charge. The pair watched in silence as Luna delivered her impromptu interview, noting how she was trying to suppress her own excitement as she described the many successes and benefits of the night court.
“She seems happy,” Thomas whispered to Moonlight who merely nodded silently. It was clear she had no intention of speaking at the moment. While Thomas’ position afforded him a bit more leeway with the rules, he was still expected to follow certain protocols; in this case, to know when to be silent.
“And what of the creature behind you, your Highness?” Lucky Pen injected while Luna had paused to search her memory for any details she might have left out. “Rumor has it that you recently acquired an exotic pet, but it can speak and I see its wearing clothes like a regular pony. What can you tell our viewers about this fascinating animal?”
Thomas felt his blood run cold at the prospect of being interviewed by the press. He had enough trouble talking to new ponies at the castle where there was a general sense of professionalism. The idea of talking to the press and potentially embarrassing himself, and by extension the Princess, was entirely out of the question. At least it was until Luna beckoned him over. He tried to tell her with his eyes that he didn’t want to do this, but an assuring smile from the alicorn later and Thomas found his legs moving on their own.
I really am just a trained dog. No wonder the guy thought I was a pet.
“This here is Thomas,” Luna began as she wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “He is a human, a legal citizen of Equestria, and a good friend, not a pet. You shall show him the same courtesy as you would any other Equestrian.”
“Human?” Lucky Pen repeated before turning his attention to Thomas. “Can’t say I’ve ever heard of anything like you before. Would you care to elaborate on what you are, where you came from, and how you came to meet Princess Luna?”
Thomas was frozen in fear. He’d been specifically ordered by both Princesses not to tell anyone about where he came from, lest they run the risk of exposing his knowledge of the future and leading to who knows what kind of international scandals or threats to national security. Besides, given that Thomas had been legally recognized as an oracle, his visions were classified as a general rule. On top of all that was the natural fear of exposing his personal life to a sensationalist media that would surely tear him apart if he so much as said ‘anybody’ instead of ‘anypony’. “I… uh…”
“Tragically dearest Thomas has no clear knowledge of how he arrived here,” Luna answered. “We are not even certain where the human country is relative to Equestria. He was found along the city outskirts some months ago and brought to… me for care. As Princess of the Night, I took this unique creature into my custody for the protection of him as well as the citizenry at large. In time I learned that not only is he of no threat, but he is also a very sweet and gentle creature.” Luna said proudly.
“Fascinating,” Lucky Pen exclaimed. “My sources also say that this, human, has been seen wearing what seems to be the official uniform of a royal concubine. Care to elaborate?”
Thomas felt Luna tense, but she continued. “Indeed. Sir Thomas is Senior Concubine of my royal harem.”
Lucky Pen’s eyes bulged as his hand continued to write while he stared at them.
“As with any other in my sister’s harem, I took a fancy to him and now he is mine. As such, he is owed the same respect as any of my sister’s concubines,” she added with the slightest hint of a threat.
Thomas fought against the urge to sigh in relief. Luna had told more truth than lie, omitting only the dangerous details and not embarrassing either of them in her description of their relationship. Surely the media would be less inclined to misrepresent the word of the Princess. And it was rather heartwarming the way she said that he was hers. Maybe I’ve been overthinking this whole herd thing and what Luna plans for me in the future.
“A foreigner in the harem,” Lucky Pen nodded with a grin. “Truly these are exciting times we live in. But on that note, might there be any plans on expanding your harem in the future? I can think of quite a few mares and stallions who’d love to know.”
Or not.
“To be quite honest, matters with establishing the night court have been most time consuming, granting little time to conduct the necessary interviews for the positions,” Luna explained frankly. “Even so, such interviews are of a most personal matter, so I’m afraid I cannot offer further details. Simply know that there are plans to expand eventually.”
The remainder of the interview had been focused on Thomas, much to his displeasure. Lucky Pen jotted down the details with a somewhat sinister glee. Thomas was forced to speak for himself in describing that the ‘human country’ was a democracy, giving only the most benign of details while omitting the more unpleasant aspects of history and current policies. Upon learning that he was an omnivore, Luna emphasized that he was no different than their griffon allies, or other meat eating citizen, in how he required protein from ‘non-intelligent’ animals. She stressed the non-intelligent part as if sensing how the media could warp such information to make him look like a wild predator. She did the same regarding that Thomas had no magic and that he was an adult whose body was already fully developed.
“Yes, yes. I see,” Lucky Pen said with his pencil pressed against his note pad. “Then perhaps I could have a photo for our readers to see the latest inclusion to the night court?” he asked as he lifted up the camera hanging from a strap around his neck.
“Certainly,” Luna agreed.
Before Thomas could respond, he found himself lifted into the air by the Princess’ powerful arms as if he were no more than a child. He didn’t even have time to get his bearings before his vision was consumed by Luna’s face and he felt her warm lips against his own. The comforting warmth of her touch instantly assuaged all fears and Thomas leaned into the kiss, closing his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Luna’s neck. The peace of the moment was broken almost instantly as they were bombarded by a series of flashes from the camera. Thomas did his best to focus on the alicorn and tune out the rest of the world.
Eventually the flashes ceased and Luna set Thomas back on the ground. Lucky Pen thanked them both for the interview and departed, leaving the human to wonder just how badly he had messed up and how badly he was going to mess up later.
While the remainder of their time in the park was peacefully pleasant, eventually the free period ended and Luna’s entourage had to return to the castle. The carriage ride back was quiet for some time. Thomas had questions, but wasn’t certain how to get them across.
Luna looked down at Thomas with a casual smile, unaware of his discomfort. “How was your first official encounter with the press?”
“To be honest, I could have done without,” Thomas groaned. “I don’t think I much care for life as a celebrity.”
“One interview hardly qualifies for celebrity status,” Luna countered, “but we understand your sentiment. We apologize for putting you in a position you weren’t comfortable with.”
“What? No. It wasn’t your fault.” Thomas denied. “And you did most of the talking, so it wasn’t that bad anyway. At least I didn’t make a fool myself and embarrass you in front of the media.”
“Your concern is much appreciated, dearest Thomas. However, we did not reveal thy existence to Equestria lightly.”
Thomas looked up at the alicorn expectantly.
“Under normal circumstances, the identities of the royal concubines are not broadcasted so openly so as to protect them from the tabloids,” Luna explained. “Such was the reason we asked you not to wear your uniform this night and why we did not volunteer your title until asked. However, your situation is unique, given that you are the only one of your kind in all Equestria, you are more prone to drawing attention. Lady Attentive Eye recently brought to our attention certain trashy articles speaking of a wild creature roaming the castle grounds and following us around as a pet.”
Thomas waited for the Princess to elaborate. “So?”
“So?” Luna scoffed. “So it was incredibly disrespectful to refer to thee in such a manner. Worse were the suggestions of having you confiscated by wildlife authorities and either put in a zoo or being released into the wild. The fools couldn’t even tell that thou art a male, referring to thee as ‘she’ or even ‘it’.” Luna seethed.
“I don’t really mind all that,” Thomas lied as he stroked Luna’s arm consolingly. “I don’t read most papers anyway, so I’d probably never even know. Besides, you’d never send me off to a zoo, right?”
“Of course we wouldn’t!” Luna snapped, causing Thomas to jump back as the Princess seethed. “But it does not matter. We knew what the tabloids have been saying. We knew and were becoming most agitated, especially yesterday when we received a letter from the Canterlot Zoo requesting thou be sent to them as soon as possible so their veterinarians could check thee for diseases.”
“Um,” Thomas glanced over at the guards on the other side of the carriage before looking back at Luna. “Didn’t you already get me checked out anyway?”
“Tis the principle of the matter,” Luna huffed. “We discussed it with our sister and agreed that it would be best to reveal the nature of thy existence under our terms, rather than let rumors spiral out of control and potentially lead to some unstable pony to try something stupid.”
Ignoring his fear, Thomas took Luna’s hand in his own and gripped it tightly. “Alright. I get it. You were just looking out for my safety and I appreciate that.” I belong to her, so disrespect to me is like disrespect to her.
Luna gave a grateful smile at his understanding, which he returned. Moonlight cooed at the adorable sight, much to the displeasure of Swift Scabbard who made her shrink in her seat under the weight of his glare. Luna and Thomas tried not to giggle.
“And Moonlight?”
“Yes, your Highness!” the guard jumped.
“I trust that… you shall continue guarding my little human. Now that there can be no doubt in his status, it is more important than ever that he be protected.”
Moonlight nodded proudly. “You have my word, Princess.”
As they neared the castle, another thought occurred to Thomas. Someone doing anything against the Princess’ personal sex toy would probably be a national scandal. Nipping this in the butt like she did was mostly just to avoid the hassle of having her competency questioned by the media for failing to protect her servants. That word weighed heavy as it lingered in Thomas’ mind. Servant. That’s what I am. That’s all I am. Nothing wrong with that, though. I’m pretty sure I basically outrank a lot of other ponies in the castle, not to mention at least half the kingdom is probably jealous of me, but I shouldn’t ever forget that I’m still just castle staff. For a moment he remembered Talon’s suggestion to ask what all his job really entailed, but that could wait for another time. They’d arrived.
**********
Luna’s entourage made their way to the throne room where she’d stay for the remainder of the evening to conduct the remainder of the night court. Once they arrived, they were met by a small mob of finely dressed ponies all clamoring to get the Princess’ attention, but she ignored them all and made her way inside. Lady Attentive Eye greeted them at the door and motioned for everyone to take their positions. Luna took her seat upon the throne, which was situated to the right of Celestia’s and distinguished by her cutie mark at the top, and looked out over the rows of chairs before her from her elevated position. The guards stood at their positions against the walls like silent sentries. Thomas stood at the door and waited to be dismissed to one of the back rooms on either side of the throne. Instead, Luna nodded to Attentive Eye and the secretary handed Thomas his book, gesturing he make his way to a chair off in the back corner of the hall where the nobles wouldn’t even notice him.
I’m actually sitting in for night court? Thomas thought dreadfully as he took his seat. Maybe they’re just testing the waters to see how well the aristocrats respond to me. They’ve seen me beside Luna before, but this’ll likely be the first time they’ve had to deal with me when I’m not being overshadowed by an alicorn.
Attentive Eye opened the door and welcomed the delegates as they entered. The mares and stallions all looked quite proud of themselves in their expensive garments as they filed in and tried not to look like they were racing to reach the seats closest to the throne. General business was typically held in the throne room or the assembly hall, depending on the size of the crowd, while more private meetings took place in Luna’s office.
Thomas attempted to hide by burying his face in his book, but that did nothing to impair his hearing. He caught more than a few nobles mentioning the ‘ape’ and how ‘it’ stunk up the room. Besides not being as close to Luna, Thomas’ main reason to hate the amphitheater was that it allowed self-entitled ponies to say whatever they wanted about him and not be heard by the Princess. No matter how many times he told himself their opinions didn’t matter, it still hurt. He was so focused on making himself as invisible as possible that he didn’t notice Luna’s ear twitch every time an insult was uttered.
When all were seated, filling up more than half the chairs in the room, Attentive Eye teleported beside Luna and the two began to whisper about something. Thomas caught them both glancing at him several times. The delegates had fallen into their own quiet conversations as they waited for the night court to have its late beginning.
Eventually Attentive Eye took her position at the foot of the throne and held her clipboard to her side. “All rise! The night court is now in session! Her highness, Princess Luna presiding!” she announced.
The delegates stood on command.
Luna gave a welcoming bow of the head. “Welcome, all of you. We thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to meet us this night that we may all strive to serve our nation as best we can. You may now be seated.”
The crowd did as instructed and waited patiently for the first matter of business to be called.
Attentive Eye unfurled the scroll and began to read. “Item G-8-34-C-2-4-9, proposed by President River Chaser of the McWinnies to amend the Code of Workers’ Compensation regarding hours worked overtime.”
“We will hear your proposal now,” Luna beckoned.
A stuffy looking cream colored unicorn stallion stood at attention and gave a low yawn. “Your Highness,” he bowed. “I come here not only on behalf of McWinnies, but all businesses that offer flexible hours to our employees to bring to your attention the matter of drastically increased labor costs in the last few months since the establishment of the night court. Since more and more ponies are going out at night, we have had to make considerable adjustments to our worker rotations to accommodate the increase in evening customers. Originally employees were asked to work the night shifts on a strictly voluntary basis with the assurance that such additional hours would be counted toward overtime. However, as the need for more night workers grows, we can no longer afford this system. What I and others are trying to do is to create a broader range of work shifts so that only working seven hours isn’t counted as overtime simply because those hours are at night. However, the unions have refused to negotiate with us at every turn.”
As if on cue, the moment he made his case, a unicorn mare with similar cream coloring to the stallion, made her stand on behalf of the workers in the union from the other end of the hall. “It is unconscionable to expect ponies to automatically make the switch from working days to nights. Not only is it stressful on the body, but on the relationships of ponies who are no longer able to spend as much time with their friends and love ones.”
“My sympathies to ponies making life adjustments,” River Chaser began. “However, ponies’ personal lives are their own business, not that of the business. Our concern is the wellbeing and performance of our workers while they are on the clock. The labor they offer at night is no different than the labor during the day and they should be paid accordingly.”
“All we ask for is fair compensation during this period of adjustment,” Stream Chaser addressed the Princess without even looking at the stallion.
“It’s been three months!” River Chaser countered. “When I started working as an associate of McWinnies, I put in twelve hour shifts on a daily basis because I knew my hard work would pay off in the end. That’s how I managed to make manager while some ponies were content to do the bare minimum.”
“Oh please,” Stream Chaser scoffed. “You’re bringing that up again?”
“No pony is being forced to work hours they can’t handle,” River Chaser ignored the mare’s comment. “Our employees are asked to work where and when they’re needed. Many businesses have required ponies to work night shifts in the past and it’s unreasonable to expect the business to pay more when the value of the labor hasn’t changed.”
“The value of the labor has changed because there’s more demand for night workers,” Stream Chaser sneered.
“Which is why we’ve hired more ponies to work at nights!” River Chaser countered.
“You’re just flank hurt now that it looks like you won’t have as much for bonuses to give yourselves for Hearth’s Warming, you’re trying to cheat your employees out of their hard earned bits.”
“You’re accusing me of cheating? Oh that’s rich coming from the mare who got her cutie mark in scheming!” he pointed to her exposed hip at the image of a thought bubble surrounded by waves.
“How dare you! I’ll have you know that my cutie mark symbolizes my creativity in coming up with solutions to problems no pony else can handle.”
Is that what that stands for? Thomas wondered. He’d been trying to read, but the show was just too entertaining. The two ponies had left their seats behind and were yelling obscenities at one another in preparation for their meeting in the middle of the hall. The surrounding ponies made their voices heard as well, either announcing support for one of the soon-to-be combatants, vainly trying to calm things down by yelling even louder, or speaking some other nonsense that couldn’t be distinguished over the chorus of their fellows. While all eyes were focused on the cream colored unicorns, Thomas looked up see Luna fidgeting in anger as she looked upon the scene. Knowing that look well, he threw his hands over his ears and braced himself for what was to come.
“ENOUGH!” Luna ordered in the Royal Canterlot Voice as she stood from her throne, silencing everyone in the room and a few birds on nearby trees. Even the cream colored unicorns had frozen mid step. “Night court shall not descend into anarchy under our watch.” Luna said sternly. “We believe that both of you have presented your arguments adequately, despite your foalish behavior. Is there any pony else with anything to add to the matter?” When there was no answer, Luna gave an affirming nod. “Then let us bring it to a vote. All those in favor of changing evening hours from overtime to regular time?”
Several ponies raised their hands.
“All opposed?”
Several fewer ponies raised their hands.
“Motion passes,” Luna said as she sat back on her throne. “Next item.”
Thomas couldn’t help but snicker at how the delegates grumbled to themselves like children who’d been told to eat all their greens or no dessert. It was always so satisfying to see ponies so accustomed to always getting their way suddenly being reminded that they weren’t actually at the top. The remainder of the night court was a much more sober affair as ponies discussed the issues like rational adults. Sorry democracy, but ya can’t argue with this kind of efficiency.
The delegates were much more civil in the following discussions as Thomas returned to his book. In fact, he’d been so wrapped up in the story that he failed to notice the mare sneak into the seat beside his own, causing him to jump when she coughed.
“Sorry,” the mare whispered with a smile. She was a grey earth pony with dark violet mane and a black dress. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Um, n-no problem,” Thomas stuttered as he nervously contemplated moving over a seat. “M-may I help you Miss.…”
“Lace,” the mare tilted her head cordially. “My name is Velvet Lace and I couldn’t help but notice you sitting here all by yourself.”
“I wasn’t bothering you, was I?”
“Not at all. I simply saw a colt all on his own and thought he could use some pleasurable company.” With her hands in her lap, Velvet leaned back in her seat and heaved her breasts out. “So, would you enjoy some company? I know I’d enjoy a lovely discussion with such a lovely colt.”
Thomas narrowed his eyes skeptically. “Discuss what, exactly?”
“Oh, just things,” Velvet trailed off. “We could talk about the weather, current events, the economy, or perhaps all three. Did you know my company is currently working on a new line of winter attire that is both fashionable and protective against the cold?”
“No. I didn’t know that.”
“Hardly surprising,” Velvet rolled her eyes. “My company’s competitors have been working quite diligently to keep our product off the market. They even came up with some ridiculous lie that our clothes use ‘hazardous’ materials,” she laughed. “Utterly ludicrous. I swear, they are only being so hostile because I’m an earth pony trying to get ahead in a city of unicorns.”
“Sounds rough,” Thomas nodded suspiciously.
“Saaaay,” Velvet’s expression brightened in realization. “Aren’t you Princess Luna’s Senior Concubine?”
“That’s what they tell me.”
“You must know what it’s like to be discriminated against, being the only one of your kind in the city.”
“How’d you know about that? The interview was only earlier tonight.”
“Oh darling, I am a very well informed pony,” Velvet tittered. “One does not get ahead in Canterlot by being ill informed of other important ponies. But on that matter, I was wondering if you could talk to the Princess about my terrible mistreatment at the hands of the elitists.” When Thomas didn’t answer right away, Velvet added “I’ll make it worth your while,” she punctuated with a wink.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass on that,” Thomas grimaced.
“All I ask is that you ask the Princess, perhaps in the bliss of the afterglow, to give the matter of my company a second thought,” she pleaded as she leaned in uncomfortably close.
Thomas studied the mare carefully, assessing if she were the sort to make a scene if she didn’t get her way. The nobility of the room already didn’t care for him, so if she made an accusation… He gave a conceding sigh. “What was the name of your company again?”
Velvet beamed excitedly. “Velvet’s Lace. And thank you for your help, you cute little monkey.”
Thomas just barely managed to avoid the mare leaning in for a kiss. He didn’t see that Luna’s disapproving stare had been lingering on him and Velvet for quite some time. And Luna didn’t notice that Attentive Eye had noticed her.
When night court finally concluded, Attentive Eye and the guards escorted Thomas and Luna back to their room. The attendants removed the Princess’ dirty clothes and served the pair their evening meal. Apparently Celestia was catching up on her beauty sleep and couldn’t be reached. The attendants left the pair in privacy after Luna finished lowering the moon and they closed the curtains. The pair ate their meals and chatted about the events of the day.
Thomas brought up the matter of Velvet Lace, making sure Luna knew that he knew he was being manipulated, but Luna assured that it was her own royal health inspectors who identified the hazardous materials in the fabric, and Thomas felt satisfied that he’d fulfilled his obligation.
Thomas considered asking Luna if there was anything she’d like to experiment with, but decided he wasn’t in an experimenting mood. Instead, he offered something he knew they would both enjoy and recounted the story from a movie he’d grown up with. Luna sat on the edge of her bed while Thomas walked about the room, acting out the scenes and doing the voices as he regaled her with ‘The Lion King’. A massage, bath, and three orgasms later, the alicorn and her human drifted off to asleep in each other’s arms with Luna gently humming the melody to ‘Can You Feel the Love Tonight’.
“Thirty four,” Talon counted as she loomed over her student. “Come on, little guy. You can do it.”
Taking a few extra seconds to breathe, Thomas finally worked up the strength to push the weight up again.
“Thirty five. There ya go! Come on, chimp. Let’s shoot for forty.”
“You can do it!” Moonlight cheered.
Thomas’ arms shook as he struggled with the bar weight, but it took all his effort just to keep the damn thing from crushing his ribs. “Gah.” Finally release came when Talon relieved him of the weight and set it back on the stand.
“Good job, chimp. Good job,” she tapped his shoulder encouragingly. “Thirty five reps at thirty five pounds is a good first bar for you… I think. Anyway, we’ll work on getting you up to forty next time. For now, let’s work a few leg muscles. I can tell ya right now you’re going to get a lot more mileage out of those.”
**********
Wednesday had been fairly repetitive. Wake up, breakfast with Celestia and her harem, speech lessons, meetings, breaks in which Luna would relieve the stress she’d built up from dealing with frustrating ponies, lunch, more meetings, dinner, and ending with early morning stories and cuddles. Thomas was a creature of habit and appreciated the familiar routine. He’d been this way even before his routine involved intercourse with an Amazonian anthropomorphic goddess. Even so, he’d been looking forward to his day off, wondering if they’d go back to Canterlot and see more of the sights. However, Talon had other plans.
As Luna had predicted, Talon’s days off were indeed adjusted to match Thomas’. After a brief chat in chow hall, during which Talon had repeatedly dodged questions about why she was wearing a sports bra, the griffon had practically dragged him off to the gym, all the while wearing a maniacal smile. He’d tried pleading with Moonlight, but the traitorous unicorn only grabbed his other arm and carried him all the faster. Apparently she agreed that a little workout would do him some good and help build his confidence.
Upon arrival, Talon lead the way to a field where various ponies played hoof ball and other games in small teams. Surrounding the field was a track where ponies jogged and sprinted at whatever pace they chose. The stallions, much to Thomas relief, were all wearing jockstraps while the mares were wearing sports bras like Talon’s. According to Moonlight, this had nothing to do with modesty, but rather keeping the floppy parts in check.
There they performed a few warm up exercises in the cool night air. It felt good to stretch out his limbs in these familiar poses, but he hesitated when they got to the toe touching portion. Thankfully, Talon was standing by his side so he didn’t have to worry about her… exposing herself again; possibly because Moonlight made it clear that she’d be keeping an eye out for any funny business. The unicorn guard, after removing a few plates of armor, joined them in their stretches and the run that followed.
Both females encouraged him to jog at whatever pace he felt comfortable with, but that didn’t make him feel any less embarrassed by how obviously they were holding back just so that he could keep up. He didn’t know if it was because they both had military training, or if there was just a natural difference in their species abilities, or maybe all of the above and then some. Regardless, running alongside two larger, stronger females who could easily outperform him in pretty much every way wasn’t doing anything to make him feel more confident. However, whenever it seemed he was beginning to slack off, Talon added some extra incentive by threatening to pinch his rear.
After a half hour warm up, they moved on to the gym proper. The gym was roughly the size of chow hall and littered with numerous exercise machines. They were all familiar to the ones he’d seen in gyms back home, save for the lack of any electronics. Ponies, it seemed, had the same muscle structure as humans. The only differences were the machines designed for wings.
Talon was the spotter while Moonlight elected to watch and cheer Thomas on. It wouldn’t be appropriate to be caught with a dumbbell in her hands in the event her charge needed protecting. Both did a fine job of motivating the human to push his limits, encouraging him to do just one more rep before Talon decided he’d earned a breather. While he caught his breath, the griffon took his place on the machine while Moonlight spotted her. Each time, Thomas found himself feeling incredibly inadequate at seeing the griffon work the same machine at three times the reps under twice the weight.
**********
“Damn, chimp. You stink.”
“Thank you,” Thomas gasped, too tired to protest as he sat in the machine.
“Well forgive me for smelling like I’ve been working out in the gym for, what, an hour?”
“An hour and a half, but that’s not it,” Talon grimaced as she folded her arms. “You smell like you’ve been left baking out in the sun for… I don’t even know how long.”
“You sure it’s even me?” Thomas asked as he sniffed under his arm pit, only to recoil at the foul stench, much to the amusement of the females. “Okay. Maybe I do sweat a little more than most. But it can’t be that bad. I mean, we’re in a gym. Surely everybody’s sweating a little.”
“Everypony,” Talon corrected. “But that’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?”
“Forgive me, Sir, but you don’t have much of a sense of smell, do you?”
“What?” Thomas asked, noticing a tinge of pink was coloring the guards orange furred cheeks. “What are you getting at?”
“Does your species have… pheromones, Sir?”
Thomas felt his blood run cold at that question as he feared where this conversation was going. “Um, not really.”
“You’re… well… attracting attention.”
Thomas looked around to see a number of ponies suddenly turn away as they met his eyes. No one had batted an eye earlier when two concubines in uniform had come to the gym. Concubines could go anywhere they wanted in the castle without raising much of a stir, with the forgivable exception of someone’s bed chambers. However, since their workout had begun, Thomas’ presence had been turning an increasing number of heads. Mares and stallions of all three tribes could generally walk by one another without earning much more than a brief glance. Talon’s presence had elicited more than a few hoots and whistles from both sexes, which the griffon met by puffing her chest out and strutting with a bounce in her step. She liked the attention. It was only now that he was no longer tuning out the world around him that he realized that not all the cheers had been directed at her.
The human looked pleading at the guard and griffon. “What… exactly do I smell like?”
The pair exchanged uneasy glances before Talon gave a shrug. “Basically, like a mare in heat, only you’re a stallion. It’s how stallions react to a mare’s heat to show that they’ve got… well, that they’ll make strong offspring. Griffons do it too, so you can trust I know what I’m talking about.”
Oh shit. Thomas thought. “Um…”
“I think I’ll go get us some water and towels,” Talon volunteered. “Smarty-corn. You stay here and make sure no pony gets any funny ideas and tries to jump the little guy.”
Moonlight nodded certainly as Talon departed.
“Do I really smell like… that?”
Moonlight hesitated and averted her gaze. “Perhaps you should speak with a doctor about your… perspiration issue. However…”
“However?” Thomas asked hesitantly.
“No,” Moonlight shook her head after a brief pause. “It would not be appropriate for one of my station.”
“I don’t really care about stations right now,” an agitated Thomas confessed. “What’s wrong?”
“I-if…” Moonlight took a long sigh before closing her eyes. “If I close my eyes and rely only on my sense of smell…”
“Yes,” Thomas motioned for her to continue.
Moonlight paused again, seeming to stare very intently at something pained on the inside of her eyelids. “I have a picture in my mind of an exceptionally… virile stallion.” She gulped, praying to Faust that her charge wouldn’t ask her to elaborate on the exact details of the picture his scent had painted in her mind’s eye.
Before Thomas could inquire further, he noticed her nostrils flaring as she took long and deep inhales. She’s a guard. Thomas told himself. She’s got plenty of training not to do anything inappropriate, right?
“Excuse me,” a magenta pegasus stallion announced as he approached. His eyes fixated on Thomas before Moonlight stepped between them. “Forgive my bluntness, Mr. Concubine, but I was watching you work out over here and was wondering if, maybe, you could be my spotting partner for a while?”
“Thanks, Mr. But I…”
“Crimson Tulip,” the stallion interrupted, his eyes fluttered flirtatiously. “But all my friends call me Tuli,” his voice thick with desire.
“Thanks… but I’ve already got a spotting partner.” Thomas’ eyes shifted about as he looked for some other excuse, also wondering what kind of name that was for a stallion. “Besides, I’m not sure Princess Luna would like it if we, uh…”
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” Tulip offered, taking a step forward, only to be fully blocked by Moonlight.
“I’m afraid the Senior Concubine has declined your invitation, Mr. Tulip,” Moonlight said with a smile, but the threat in her tone was unmistakable.
The mare and stallion stared each other down until finally Tulip surrendered. When he was gone, Moonlight turned to Thomas and gave him a reassuring nod.
“That guy didn’t really want a spotting partner, did he?”
“Maybe for starters,” Moonlight answered suggestively. “Then, perhaps, bodies glistening with sweat, he’d invite you to the showers to help wash off the smell of your work out. After that, maybe, he’d ask you to wash him off, and then once your bodies had been fully lathered up…” she trailed off.
“Wo, now!” Thomas held up his hand. “I’m gonna stop you right there, because that ain’t happening.”
“Uh, of course it isn’t,” Moonlight stuttered, her cheeks blushing brightly as her eyes conveyed a hint of disappointment. “That would be silly. It’s not like this is some sort of cheap erotica novel or anything, right?” the guard stood her ground quite well against Thomas’ condemning glare.
Erotica novel? Does she really think this is a scene out of some book? Does she want it to be?
“Fear not, little Tommy,” announced a voice so gratuitously pompous that it gave Thomas a sudden desire to jump in the shower in spite of what Moonlight had just described. “For I, the noble Prince, shall protect you from the advances of such common riffraff.”
“Prince Blueblood,” Moonlight greeted as politely as she could, standing at attention between the Prince and her charge.
“We meet again, little Tommy,” Blueblood said as he approached the pair, his stallionhood concealed behind a large jock strap as he was accompanied by a butler holding a towel.
“Hey,” Thomas greeted unenthusiastically. He did his best to hold his ground, but made sure to position himself facing towards the Prince at all times, never exposing his back.
“Now now, little Tommy. Is that any way to address royalty?” Blueblood gestured to himself. “On the other hoof, I suppose I should have known better than to expect manners from the likes of you. After all, what else but an uncultured ape would be so thoughtless as to refuse an invitation from the Prince of all Equestria? Oh, how you wound me,” he said with a mock whimper.
Unmoved, Thomas continued to glare at the pathetic excuse for a Prince. “I am so sorry… that you were offended by my refusal.”
Blueblood’s ear flicked in annoyance at the less than subtle insult.
“But I’m not really into stallions, so…”
“How dare you,” Blueblood seethed. “I am no common colt. I am Prince Blueblood, nephew of Princess Celestia, and the most magnificent and superior stallion in all the land. I have given you an explicit order and you will be into me at my say so!”
I will be… He probably meant to phrase that a little differently. Thomas thought. Then again, maybe he didn’t. Maybe, despite all his boasting on dominance, Blueblood’s really a bottom. Either way, ew.
Blueblood took a deep breath to calm himself. “But do not fret little… whatever it is you call yourself, for I am a merciful Prince. While I would be well within my rights to throw you in the dungeons for the rest of your life for defying a royal order,” Thomas intensified his glare at the Prince, “I have decided to suspend your sentence in favor of time served.” He smiled sinisterly. “All you have to do is spend the next, let’s say… two weeks in my chambers. Yes. Two weeks of being the plaything of a Prince is hardly a just punishment for such a wicked crime, but as I said, I am merciful. Now,” he extended his hand, “come along.”
Thomas recoiled and Moonlight moved to block the stallion’s reach.
Blueblood was taken aback. “You… how dare you defy me? Do you know who I am? Do you know what a word from me can do to your career?”
Moonlight stood stoically against the Prince’s threats. “My orders come directly from Princess Luna and Captain Shining Armor. I am to protect Sir Thomas from any and all harm that may befall him.”
Blueblood’s lip curled into a snarl as he attempted to stare down the guard with a glare that was not nearly as imposing as it was in his head. “Even if such things applied to royalty, which they do not, I have no intention of hurting the little guy,” he said in his best attempt at a consoling tone. “I only want to play with it a little. Auntie Luna can have it back afterwards. No harm done. Now, come with me.” Blueblood extended his hand. “Let us depart these foul commoners for much more appealing company.”
“Begging your pardon, my Prince,” Moonlight strained. “But the Senior Concubine doesn’t wish to go with you.”
“Get out of my way, or I’ll just have to have a word with your superior officer,” the Prince growled.
“You are free to discuss my actions with Lieutenant Smokey Iron, if you so desire,” Moonlight replied evenly. “But in the meantime, I think it’s time the Sir and I go somewhere else.”
“Not a chance,” a gruff voice called out commandingly. All eyes turned to see Talon approaching with a couple bottles of water and a few towels over her shoulder. “We’ve still got six more machines to try. Gotta get a reading on all the areas the chimp needs to improve on,” she explained as she handed the towels and water to Moonlight and gave Blueblood a casual glance. “What’s up, blue balls?”
Blueblood was practically steaming with fury as Talon walked past him, handing Thomas some water and a towel. “You…”
“Yes, me. What about me?”
“How dare you speak to me that way? I will not suffer such insolence from such common whorses!”
In an instant the griffon closed the distance between herself and the white stallion, her claw grasping his bowtie as she pulled him down. “The buck you just call me?”
“You!” Blueblood struggled to free himself. “Unhand me this instant.”
“Who the buck are you calling common?”
“That’s what she’s upset about, being called common but not a whorse?” Thomas muttered under his breath while Moonlight shrugged uncertainly. “Either way, go Tali.”
“Look at this body,” Talon slid one foot back, turning sideways as she gestured to her body. “Look at this. I mean really look. Is this not the pinnacle of griffon physique?” She paused, but no answer came. “You really think the one and only Celestia would settle for any less than the finest griffon in all the land? Because I sure don’t.”
“I said unhand me, you filthy cur,” Blueblood said between gritted teeth.
“Speaking of fine bodies,” Talon continued as she pulled Blueblood into a headlock and pointed at Thomas. “I’m pretty sure you also called my little buddy here common. That’s not a very nice thing to say, ya know. You wouldn’t be making any kind of insinuations about the Princesses’ choice in bedmates, would you?”
Finally Blueblood was able to wriggle free of the griffon’s claws. “How dare you assault the Prince of Equestria like that? Guards! Arrest her at once.”
Thomas looked around nervously. There were a few guards besides Moonlight in full armor standing near the doors. And based on their physique, he guessed most of the exercising ponies were probably guards too. However, none made a move for the griffon. Even the butler beside Blueblood remained still as a statue.
“Arrest me for what?” Talon confidently set her claws on her hips. “You and me were just having a friendly wrestling match in the gym. Right guys?” She gestured to a few of the nearby ponies.
“That’s how I saw it,” one stallion answered.
“You should really restrict that kind of thing to the ring,” a mare chided. “For safety.”
“Sure thing, babe,” Talon nodded before turning back to Blueblood, her expression daring him to make the next move.
“Why you… stupid… grr.”
“Keep trying, blue balls,” Talon encouraged as she stretched her arms over head. “I’m certain you’ll remember how to use words eventually.”
Blueblood stomped his hoof to the floor in a mild tantrum. “What is your problem, anyway? It’s not like I’ve done anything wrong.”
Talon narrowed her predator eyes on the Prince, causing him to visibly shrink. “My problem is I don’t like flank holes picking on my friends. Now here’s how it’s gonna work, bud,” Talon said as she took a step towards the stallion. “You can walk away, stop pestering us, and keep your big mouth shut about all of this. Or, and I actually kinda prefer this one, things can go down like they did last time. And if that happens, we’ll just have to bring in Sun Dancer to settle things.”
Thomas didn’t think it was possible for a pure white pony to go pale with fear, but Blueblood presented rather convincing evidence to the contrary. The stallion’s lip was quivering as he took slow, careful steps back with his tail literally folded between his legs and over his privates. “You wouldn’t dare.”
Talon folded her arms across her chest and sighed smugly. “Wouldn’t I?”
The rather one sided standoff lasted all of ten seconds before Blueblood had exhausted the last of his nerves. Thomas grinned at his adversary’s defeat, only to lose all happy feelings once the Prince pointed at him. “This isn’t over, ape.”
Talon flared her wings and claws out as she crouched down in a pouncing position. “GET OUT!” she called in a mix of an eagle cry and lion roar, made all the more threatening by the echo of the gym.
The Prince proceeded to put all the other sprinters in the gym to shame as he dashed out the doors at lightning speed. The butler gave Talon a polite nod before following Blueblood’s smoke trail at a brisk walk.
The griffon was practically panting as she seethed in frustration at the whole ordeal.
“Um, Tali?” Thomas said hesitantly, only to duck back behind a suddenly tense Moonlight as Talon faced him with unbridled fury in her eyes.
Seeing Moonlight in a defensive stance, eventually the griffon managed to calm herself down, stroking her claws across her head and pressing her raised feathers down. “Sorry about that, guys,” she exhaled.
Thomas chanced another peek from behind the guard, seeing the rage in the griffon’s eyes replaced with a hurt and pleading look. Then she turned away. “Tali?”
Moonlight shifted her hooves to be ready to jump between the griffon and human at a moment’s notice. She met his eyes and gave a look that said ‘be careful’.
“Sorry you had to see me like that,” Talon sighed as she walked over to one of the machines and sat down with her head hung low. “That’s not a side of me I like my friends to see. I don’t like ponies being afraid of me.”
Fighting against the voice in his head that told him the griffon was too dangerous, Thomas muscled on until he stood directly in front of her. Talon looked up at the human, unable to read his expression and clearly nervous about his reaction. She clearly wasn’t expecting him to smile and offer her his hand. After looking between him and his hand, Talon returned the smile and took his hand.
“Thanks for that,” Thomas nodded as he helped pull the griffon back up.
“Any time, chimp,” she punctuated with a hard slap on his arm.
“Forgive me, Lady Talon,” Moonlight stepped forward.
“For what?”
“For doubting your character,” the guard confessed like a child who knew she’d done wrong, her ears drooping down. “For a moment I actually considered you a possible threat to Sir Thomas.” She moved her right arm over her stomach and tilted her torso forward in a light bow. “You are a griffon of sound character and a good friend to the Sir. I should have known better than to doubt a member of Celestia’s harem. Please forgive me for my lapse in judgment, Lady Talon.”
Talon didn’t say a word as she approached the guard, only to smack her helmet down over her eyes. When the surprised mare looked up, she saw the griffon smiling at her. “Ya know, I think the chimp’s got a point. All this ‘lady’ and ‘sir’ stuff just sounds weird coming from friends.”
Moonlight’s ears cautiously perked up and she extended her hand. “Friends?”
Talon clapped her claw on the pony’s hand. “Friends,” she nodded before looking back at Thomas. “The buck are you doing? Get your scrawny chimp butt over here and have a moment with us.”
Thomas sprinted over to the two large women and set his hand on top of theirs. “Friends.”
After Talon had finally been satisfied with Thomas’ performance in the gym, she led the way to the showers past the locker room. The showers were unisex, so there was no worry about any taboo of different sexes being together. This made sense as it would be most absurd for a culture with no problem with nudity to suddenly make an exception just because water was involved; though that still didn’t explain why Luna’s attendants wore bathing suits.
Talon had insisted on them sharing a stall in order to ward off any further advances from the other ponies. However, Moonlight managed to convince the griffon to take one of the neighboring stalls while she showered with Thomas. While Thomas was grateful for her and Moonlight’s protection, he was having an especially difficult time being completely naked in such a cramped space with a naked mare who wasn’t Luna. Moonlight had no such qualms as she casually shifted about, regularly bumping Thomas’ back with her bare flesh while he struggled not to look. He also pretended not to notice any time she took long, deep breaths through her nose, or the contented sighs that followed each sniff. He’d all but given up on fighting for access to the shower head, content with merely using a wash rag, before Moonlight threatened to scrub him down if he didn’t do so himself.
“I am your guard, Sir, and that makes it my duty to protect you from preventable hazards,” she lectured in a tone that sounded like she didn’t want him to do as she said. “If you don’t clean yourself now, we’re going to spend the rest of the day warding off the advances of every pony that doesn’t have nasal problems.”
The prospect of more unwanted solicitations, especially from males, was motivation enough for Thomas to rub himself down till his skin was raw. Once clean, they returned back to the lockers where they left their clothes, Thomas walking awkwardly as he tried his hardest to hide his privates. Talon had stolen his towel and refused to give it back.
After such an exhausting ordeal, Talon recommended a peaceful walk through the gardens.
“I don’t suppose I could file a restraining order against the guy?” Thomas asked his companions as they walked past a series of statues.
“I don’t think anypony’s ever done something like that with royalty before,” said Moonlight.
“Little prick‘d probably say there’s nothing wrong with one pony inviting another to his room,” Talon grumbled. “Then he’d slip the judge a few bits under the table, maybe invite ‘em to some fancy party or something.”
“So basically the courts are completely corrupt,” Thomas sulked.
“Oh, don’t be like that,” Talon countered. “I was just running my mouth off. I mean, I’m pretty sure he’d make the bribe, but the stallion’s so stupid he’d probably do so in a really obvious way that the judge wouldn’t be able to take even if he wanted to.”
“Heh,” Thomas laughed half-heartedly. “I can see that happening. Can we try the restraining order, then?”
“The prick’s still a Prince,” Talon discouraged. “Plus you two live in the same castle and I’m pretty sure neither of you are gonna move. I’m not sure a judge could do anything even if he wanted to. And I’m sorry to say, but a concubine suing a royal really wouldn’t go over well with the aristocracy and it’d be a major pain for the Princesses.”
“Never mind then,” Thomas conceded. “If it just leads to trouble for the Princesses, I won’t bother.”
Moonlight frowned at the griffon. “If not the courts, then what are his options?”
“First thing that comes to mind is growing a backbone.”
“S’cuse me?”
“You’re excused,” Talon nodded. “But seriously, you need to learn to stand up for yourself instead of relying on mares to fight your battles for you all the time. What kind of male does that, anyway?”
“That’s actually rather normal for stallions,” Moonlight corrected. “I’m not sure how it works in griffon relationships, but for ponies it’s the stallions who are the more submissive ones while the mares are more assertive.”
“Oh yeah. Forgot that part,” Talon admitted.
“I’m not a stallion,” Thomas asserted. “I feel bad enough about having to hide behind mares as it is, but what do you want from me? The guy’s almost twice as big as me. Most of you ponies are.”
“Not a pony,” Talon corrected.
“And that’s before you count the magical horn on his head that can do who knows what to me. What chance do I have against that?”
“Sir Thomas makes some valid points,” Moonlight nodded. “He is quite small and defenseless.”
“You could have said that in a less demeaning way,” Thomas pointed out.
“Wouldn’t make it less true,” Talon added before Moonlight could apologize. “Besides, physical strength and magic aren’t everything. Back when I was first starting out in the RGR, I wasn’t much bigger than you. But that didn’t stop my instructors from showing me all kinds of techniques to bring down all manner of threats, including things twice my size and unicorns.”
“Can you teach me?”
“Can? Certainly,” Talon shrugged nonchalantly. “The real question is, would I? What do I get out of it?”
Thomas’ palm met his forehead with a mighty smack. “Damn it. I forgot the bits again. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“Buck brain, I think,” Talon suggested. “That’s where repeated bucking sessions addles the brain and makes it hard to remember stuff.”
“I’m not sure that’s a thing,” doubted Moonlight.
“Well you’ve never been bucked by an alicorn Princess, so you don’t exactly have much of a frame of reference, do you?”
Moonlight opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it and lowered her head in defeat.
“That’s what I thought,” Talon gloated. “And before you even try it, we are friends, but that’ll only take ya so far. For this, you’re gonna need to pay.”
“How much?” Thomas relented.
“No bits this time,” Talon held out her claw haltingly, bringing the trio to a stop. “As much fun as it would be to extort ya for more bits, I had something else in mind.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask,” Thomas admitted. “But what?”
Talon smirked and leaned down, pressing her beak against the human’s ear before whispering “a kiss.”
“A what!?” Thomas and Moonlight shouted together.
“You heard me,” Talon emphasized by tapping her claw against the tip of her beak. “Just. One. Little. Kiss.”
“Thanks, but no thanks,” Thomas said as he stomped off with Moonlight following close behind, only for the griffon to fly ahead and land in front of them.
“You sure you want to refuse?”
Thomas glared at the griffon. “If I said no to Blueblood, why the hell would I…”
Talon cut him off with a press of her claw to his lips. “Don’t ruin this by comparing me to him, kay? And it’s not like I’m telling you to come to bed with me so I can buck you up the plot or anything.”
“Thanks for that mental image,” Thomas pushed the claw away.
“And I’m not asking you to stud either. We can hold off on that till later.”
Stud? Oh shit. That’s probably a thing here. Thomas thought in a panic.
“Besides,” Talon continued. “You didn’t let me finish. I never said who you had to kiss.”
Thomas eyed the griffon suspiciously. “What does that mean?”
“Think of this as part of your harem training,” Talon said with a slap on his shoulder. “Luna’s harem’s gonna grow eventually. That means you’re gonna need to learn how to please multiple mares, and don’t you dare think for one moment there’s a way for the Senior Concubine to stay exclusive, because there isn’t.” She paused for dramatic effect. “Kissing mares’ll also help with your backbone issue.”
“Does that work?” Moonlight asked, clearly intrigued.
“It’s worked wonders for the stallions in Leste’s harem.”
“Leste?”
“My little pet name for Celestia,” Talon said to a chorus of awed silence. “Well she likes it,” the griffon crossed her arms indignantly.
Thomas massaged his temples as he processed all he was hearing. “So… one kiss, and you’ll teach me to defend myself?”
“Not quite,” Talon grinned in satisfaction. “You’ve been awfully ungrateful about all this, so I think I’m gonna have to up my rates. One kiss, and I’ll teach you for one lesson.”
“That’s price gouging!” Moonlight protested.
“And your point is…?”
“So I was right to question your character,” the guard snorted.
“Sticks and stones, smarty-corn,” Talon shrugged before looking down at Thomas. “The first few lessons are some basic holds which you can practice on your down time. It’ll be up to you if we should continue after that. And like I said, kissing mares will help you build confidence in yourself, not only so you can stand up against pricks like Blueblood, but also so you can become the stallion Luna needs you to be.”
Thomas had been fuming in anger at being exploited like this from his supposed friend, right up until she said the L word and all his fury evaporated away. “The stallion Luna needs,” he muttered to himself.
“You got it,” Talon nodded. “It’s a win-win-win for ya. You get the training, the concubine practice, and the pleasure of kissing about thirty mares.”
“Thirty?”
“Conservative estimate,” Talon shrugged. “No offense, but if your performance at the gym was any indicator, we might have to stick with some lessons longer than others.”
After much thinking, Thomas looked up unwavering at the griffon. “Only after I ask Luna.”
“Good colt,” Talon nodded, satisfied in his answer.
“Not a stallion?” Thomas asked disappointedly.
“You already said you weren’t, remember?” Talon pointed out. “Besides, that’s what we’re going to be working towards. Before the next Summer Sun Celebration, I’ll have made a stallion out of you.”
With the matter settled, Talon agreed to give Thomas a freebie. Whenever trying to subdue a unicorn, the key was always to go for the horn. While there were magic suppressing tools, Thomas wasn’t likely to ever be carrying any around, so he’d have use other means. As it turned out, all it took to disrupt a unicorn’s magic was to apply pressure to the horn. While Moonlight volunteered to demonstrate this, she quickly pulled back once Talon started moving her claw around. Apparently it was necessary to constantly adjust the grip; otherwise the unicorn would adapt and move the magic around the pressure. And as Moonlight had just shown, the unicorn horn was a rather sensitive part of the body. Her implications could not have been more obvious. After that, they ate, chatted about more mild issues, and then departed to their respective rooms.
**********
“Hey Luna,” Thomas greeted as he ran up to his alicorn in her chambers.
“Dearest Thomas,” Luna welcomed his approach with an embrace. “Tell us of your night.”
After The Princess of the Night lowered the moon, Thomas proceeded to vomit out the details of the evening while her attendants undressed her.
“Do I really smell like that when I sweat?”
Luna tilted her head inquisitively. “W-I cannot say. In my experience, by the time you have worked up a decent sweat, your perspiration is overshadowed by other odors. At that point, it is difficult to distinguish between one smell of arousal and another. What do you ladies think?”
“I didn’t want to say anything,” Midnight Chain began. “But sometimes, when the castle is a bit warmer than normal, you do start to smell a little.”
“Not that we’re complaining or anything,” Starry Sky insisted. “It’s a really nice smell.”
“So I really am just sending out pheromones all over the place?”
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Lunar Stone assured. “It’s an involuntary physical reaction. Are you entering into some sort of mating cycle?”
“No,” Thomas said flatly. “And human males don’t even have those.”
“Then perhaps you are responding to a sense of arousal,” Lunar Stone suggested.
“It’s just sweat,” Thomas insisted. “That’s it. I sweat really easily. Ugh. All I can say is that I’m glad I only go out at night. If I sweat bad enough to attract this much attention in the cool night air, Faust help me if I ever went out in the sun.”
“Would it truly be so bad?” Luna chuckled. “Perhaps you could use thy aroma to solicit stallions to do things for you?”
Thomas glared unamused at Luna from his position on her bed. “It’d be bad enough if it was only mares, but why the hell am I attracting stallions?”
“What is wrong with stallions?” Starry Sky asked. “Some of my best friends are stallions,” she said to the snickers of the other mares. “What?”
“Nothing, except I’m not gay, or a colt cuddler, or whatever,” Thomas shook his head violently. “And I especially don’t want freaking Blueblood.”
“Blueblood?” Luna’s ears stood high as the last of her regalia was removed. “What does our nephew have to do with this?”
“Oh yeah. I guess I forgot to tell you about that. Um, just forget I said anything,” Thomas waved his hand dismissively.
Luna furrowed her brow. “Dearest Thomas, alicorns have impeccable memory. If there is a problem regarding our nephew, you must tell us.”
The attendants glanced nervously between Luna and Thomas. When he looked to them for some way out, they gestured that he’d best just tell.
“Just… just promise not to get mad, okay?”
“We promise.”
Thomas took a breath to brace himself. “Well, on Monday he… kinda… invited me back to his room,” Thomas explained hesitantly.
Luna nodded as she listened intently. “And did you go?”
“Did I… no. No! I just said I’m not a colt cuddler,” Thomas said, irate that Luna wasn’t seeing the problem yet.
“Calm down, Thomas. It’s alright,” Luna soothed maternally as she sat beside him, silently gesturing for her attendants to leave.
“But I want to hear what happened with Blueblood?” Starry Sky complained as the others locked arms and carried her out, closing the door behind them.
“Now Thomas, thou art clearly upset, but we are here for you, whatever your ales.” Luna set her hand upon Thomas’, interlocking their fingers. “Now please, tell us what happened.”
“Today,” Thomas continued. “After Tali left, Blueblood showed up and said that I defied a royal decree when I refused to go with him.” He looked to Luna, but her expression was blank. “Then he said he’d throw me in the dungeon unless I stayed in his room and let him… play with me… for two weeks.”
Luna crossed her arms and folded her legs as she looked down ponderously. “He truly said these things?”
“I’ve got witnesses.”
Luna held her hand out in front of her, balling her fingers up and audibly tightening them into a fist. It lasted only a second, but the sound of her crackling knuckles made the human flinch. “Is there more?”
“Um… Moonlight tried to discourage him, but I don’t think he was listening. Then Tali showed up and… kinda… put him in a headlock.”
“Did she, now?”
“He kept saying that she had to do what he said because he’s the Prince, but she didn’t care. It was kinda impressive, actually. Er, then she threatened to bring in Sun Dancer if he didn’t back off, and then the guy ran off with his tail between his legs, literally,” Thomas said with a forced laugh, but the alicorn did not share in his levity. “Um, Luna?”
“The cur!” Luna swore as she stood from the bed, ranting all manner of obscenities as she paced around the room. “Insolent little whelp. He dares to threaten one of our consorts. Such an insult cannot go unpunished. We shall have to bring this to our sister’s notice at once. There shall be retribution for this brazen disrespect!”
“Easy there, Luna,” Thomas tried to sooth as he followed Luna across the room, but she was not listening. “Easy. It’s not that bad. Tali…”
“The griffon!” Luna’s wings flared out, causing Thomas to flinch. “This Talon lives up to her reputation as a hero. We shall arrange for an award ceremony at once.” She asserted as she began marching towards the door, ready to smash it to pieces as she stormed down the halls in all her naked glory. “Perhaps her medal can be carved from his severed horn.”
“You PROMISED!” Thomas shouted, stopping Luna in her tracks. “You said you wouldn’t get angry.”
The alicorn turned to find her human red in the face. “Thomas. This is a serious matter. Such an offense cannot and must not be taken lightly.”
“Talon said that if we did anything to Blueblood, it’d just turn around and cause trouble for you and Celestia.”
“Thomas…”
The human breathed heavily as he felt his eyes water. While trying to wipe his face, he heard the steady clop of Luna’s hoof steps as she approached. “It’s… its fine. I’m…” Before he could say anymore, Thomas felt himself engulfed in Luna’s wings as she pulled him close.
“Thomas,” Luna said gently. “Thy concern for us is appreciated beyond what we can say. Tis been such a long time since a stallion has acted to protect us, but that does not change the matter at hoof. By threatening you, Prince Blueblood has committed a serious offense against the both of us. He must be made to know the consequences of such disrespect to the crown.”
“I just,” Thomas struggled against the tears. “I just don’t want to be a burden.”
Luna knelt down on one knee and pressed Thomas’ head onto the top of her breast. “Thou need never hold such fears with us. Dearest Thomas, thou art our Senior Consort. But more than that, thou art ours. Thou shalt never be a burden upon us.”
“Luna,” Thomas said into her tear stained fur. He wanted to tell her how much her words meant to him, but the words caught in his throat. All his life he’d felt as if there was nothing he could do and that he’d been a burden on those around him. Of course he’d never admit as much for fear of making them worry over his petty insecurities. But hearing Luna call him hers filled him with warm contentment. Maybe someday he’d find the courage to tell her.
“Come, then,” Luna said as she lifted her human in her arms and carried him over to the bed. “Thou art clearly tired from the night’s events. Let us retire for the day,” she punctuated with a kiss to his forehead.
While he was admittedly tired, and having Luna tuck him into bed was certainly relaxing, there was one more thing that needed to be done. “Wait,” Thomas held out his hand. “There’s something I need to ask you first.”
“Oh?”
“Well, after the thing in the gym, Tali suggested she start giving me lessons so I can defend myself.”
“Really?” Luna asked. “That sounds like a splendid idea.”
“Except that she said I had to pay for it. Now don’t be mad,” Thomas insisted at seeing Luna’s face scrunch in anticipation of anger. “But she said it’d be good practice if I… kissed other mares.” Thomas sat silently in the bed, waiting for Luna to explode again, but nothing happened.
“Is that all?”
Thomas shot the Princess of the Night a look of surprise. “Is that all? You’re not bothered by this?”
“Certainly not,” Luna shook her head calmly as she slipped into the covers beside him. “Tis the function of a harem that its members be intimate with each other as well as the Princess; to a certain extent anyway. While we do find your shyness around other ponies endearing, this trait poses as a real problem for the future. We agree with the griffon’s assessment that you could stand to be a bit more bold, including in the bedroom.” She stroked his arm encouragingly, smiling as his skin rippled with goosebumps at her touch. “You have asked our permission, and we grant it. You may enter the tutelage of Talon and pay her little fee. We are proud of you for being so willing to step out of your comfort zone.”
Thomas beamed up at the Princess, nuzzling her shoulder. “I’m glad.”
“As are we.”
“It still seems a little weird, though” Thomas admitted. “Why does me kissing mares have to be called payment?”
“Was that not obvious?” Luna asked. “Clearly the griffon intends to take satisfaction from watching.” She smiled as she pulled him into a tighter embrace and began nuzzling him. “You are just too cute.”
Thomas briefly considered struggling out of the alicorn’s powerful grip, but decided to return the nuzzle instead. If she wasn’t in the mood, he was just going to let his sore pelvis take a break.
As consciousness returned, Thomas became aware that he had awoke in his favorite sleeping spot, between Princess Luna’s soft and supple breasts. Pulling himself up atop her glorious form, the human met the alicorn’s teal eyes.
“Luna,” he sighed contentedly.
“Thomas,” she acknowledged back.
No more words were needed as Luna pulled herself up and stretched her arms and wings. Thomas batted her extra extremities away as her feathers tickled his chest relentlessly. Luna laughed as she continued to tease him with her wings, but eventually Thomas moved out of reach. He looked down with mild surprise to find that he was still wearing his loincloth when an amusing thought crossed his mind.
“Who washes my clothes?”
“Why dost thou ask?” Luna inquired as she slid her legs off the bed and stood up.
“Not sure,” Thomas shrugged. “It just occurred to me that someone-”
“Somepony,” Luna corrected.
“Somepony has to do it and I was just wondering what they might think.” Thomas said as he dangled his legs off the bed, but stayed in place.
“Tis not likely to be an interesting exercise,” Luna said as she walked around the bed. “Dost thou imagine some lonely middle aged mare sniffing thy crotch guard for her own pleasure?”
Thomas didn’t blink as he followed the approaching Princess with his eyes. “You really are a clop-minded mare, aren’t you,” he said as more of a statement than a question.
“Besides,” Luna continued as she fell to her knees before Thomas and leaned in for another kiss. “It’s not like you wear these during anything important.” For emphasis she quickly untied the loincloth and flung it off to the side.
Thomas’ heart rate quickened as Luna spoke in a deep, sensual voice. Her hungry eyes looked down to his fully erect shaft and she descended upon him. The human moaned as the alicorn began softly nuzzling his crotch and taking a few experimental licks. Luna smacked her lips like a ravenous animal before taking the full length of his shaft into her mouth. Thomas let out a surprised whimper as Luna’s warm wet mouth eagerly massaged his cock while her hand gently kneaded his balls.
“Oh, fuck Luna,” he groaned as he absentmindedly put his hands upon her head. “I love fucking your hot mouth.”
Still tasting the piece of meat between her lips, Luna smiled at her lover’s declaration. It was also cute the way he tried to bob her head down on his member as if he somehow knew how to please himself better than she did. Still, there was no harm in letting him think he was in control and so she relaxed her neck a bit and let him manipulate her head around his shaft.
“Ah. Ahh,” Thomas panted. “I’m c-cumming!” Thomas shouted as he felt himself release into the back of Luna’s throat.
The mare took several quick swallows to clear her mouth of the delicious salty seed, and then smiled up at the man who bore a dumb satisfied grin. “Did thou enjoy thyself as much as we did?”
“I think a little bit more,” Thomas gasped.
“More?” Luna’s ears perked up inquisitively as her lips curled into a devious smile. “Well that hardly sounds fair. If thou art taking more joy from this than we, then it seems thou owest us our due enjoyment.”
“Owe? Owe? Oh!” Thomas realized. “I still need to pay Talon back.” He jumped past the alicorn Princess to his dresser where he found the compartment with his stash and hastily counted out what he owed. Satisfied that he had enough, he turned around to a very unhappy alicorn with her arms crossed and hoof tapping the ground impatiently. “Um… I’m trying to get rid of a distraction?” He suggested hopefully.
Luna’s frown soon flipped into a smile. “See to it that… you do. You already owe me for taking more satisfaction than you give and it is unwise to accumulate too much debt.”
Thomas was saved from this awkward lecture by the arrival of Midnight Chain, Starry Sky, and Lunar Stone. The attendants, seeing Luna looming over her human in all her naked glory, and him shooting his hands down to cover his bare crotch, let out a collective sigh of relief that all was back to normal.
**********
“And then he said ‘Read it? I already ruined it.’” Lunar Stone concluded her story as she slipped Luna’s hoof guards on.
“That’s disgusting,” Midnight Chain scolded as she levitated a more casual dress shirt beneath Luna’s wings.
“I don’t get it,” Starry Sky admitted as she searched through the jewelry drawer for something to match the outfit.
“What’d I miss?” Thomas asked as he exited the bathroom, whereupon he saw Luna struggling not to laugh. “I couldn’t quite hear what you were saying in there. What happened with the ducks?”
“You don’t want to know,” Midnight Chain scoffed. “Somepony just has a really dirty mind.”
“What?” Lunar Stone shrugged. “I grew up on a farm. That’s the sort of thing that happened from time to time.”
“Well if you’re not gonna share the fun, at least tell me what the plans are for tonight.” Thomas crossed his arms to let everyone know how super serious he was. The mares giggled at his gesture.
Now fully adorned in her regalia, Luna gave a light twirl to show herself off, her dress rising slightly. “How do we look?” she directed the question at Thomas.
“Like a million bits.”
“Only a million?” Luna said with a slight pout as she turned to her attendants. “You could manage to pull off a million and one?”
“Oh. I think I have one,” Starry Sky exclaimed as she dove into a little bag tied around her dress. After a bit of digging she pulled out a single gold coin and handed it over to the Princess. “There you go. Now you’re a million and one bits.”
The other mares and human couldn’t hold themselves back for long and burst out laughing. When Starry didn’t seem to understand what was going on, it only encouraged them to laugh even harder. In time they all calmed down and recomposed themselves.
“Well, dearest Thomas,” Luna addressed as the human in question came up to her side. “In answer to your question, today we shall…”
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
Luna stared in puzzlement at the door. Her ears flick as muffled voices seemed to be arguing on the other side. She looked to Thomas and her attendants, but they had no more answers than she did. “Come in,” Luna called formally.
The doors were flung to either side as a familiar white stallion with a blonde mane entered the room, followed by two guards in the gold colored armor of the day court.
“My apologies, Princess,” Attentive Eye said from the hall as she collected her papers from the floor. “I asked him to wait but he wouldn’t listen.”
“Auntie Luna,” Blueblood greeted with outstretched arms. He paused as if waiting for Luna to embrace him, but she didn’t budge from her spot.
“Dearest nephew,” Luna answered with convincing warmness. “What brings you here this fine evening?”
“It has been so long since we last saw one another. We really should schedule some time to catch up.”
“That would be most lovely, dearest nephew. However, you still have not said why you have entered our bedroom at such an hour. And why have you done so in the company of our sister’s guards?”
“Ah yes. Them,” he gestured to the guards behind him. “They’re just here to help me attend a little pest problem. Ah! And there’s the pest now.”
Meeting Blueblood’s eyes, Thomas felt the urge to flee to the nearest safe space, which in this case was behind Princess Luna. However, a quick glance at the Princess of the Night made him feel somewhat bolder and he held his ground beside her, though her wing still partially stood between him and Blueblood.
“That’s him, boys,” Blueblood smugly addressed the guards. “That’s the little tramp that had the audacity to defy a royal order and to assault me. Be a couple dears and arrest him.” He vainly waved his hand in Thomas’ general direction. When nothing happened, other than the human quickly surveying his surroundings for potential escape routes, the Prince turned his attention back to the guards. “Well?”
Thomas impressed himself by continuing not to budge. He knew it was only because he knew Luna was the greatest shield he could hope to have, but he still congratulated himself for not diving behind her. He peeked out from behind Luna’s wings to see that the guards were nervously shifting their eyes from him, to Blueblood, to Luna, and back to him.
“Are you deaf or something?” Blueblood spat. “That… creature is a vile criminal and, as Prince, I demand that you throw him in the dungeon.”
Blueblood’s commanding tone and mention of his title was enough to snap the guards out of their hesitation. “At once, my Prince,” they said in unison before they began moving towards Thomas. They didn’t even make it two steps before Luna flared her wings out in an aggressive stance. Thomas couldn’t quite see the Princess’ expression, but he could tell from the look of fear in the guards’ eyes that he didn’t want to be on the other end of it.
“Nephew,” Luna addressed Blueblood coldly as the guards made a brisk backwards retreat back to their position behind him. “Thou hast accused the Senior Concubine to Princess Luna’s Harem of criminal actions. Defying a royal order and assault, was it? Please enlighten us as to the nature of these crimes.”
For a moment Blueblood looked as terrified as his guards, but he quickly collected himself with a smug grin that proclaimed ‘I am a Prince and you will do what I say’ before he answered his aunt. “Auntie Luna. I offer my humblest apologies for bringing this to your attention in such a brash manner. However, like I said, that monkey hiding behind you like a coward is a criminal.”
“Coward!?” Thomas stepped out into the open and faced Blueblood with as tall and straight a posture as he could manage. “Who the hell are you calling a coward? I wasn’t the one who screamed like a little bitch when he saw the BABY dragon walking around the castle. Seriously, the little guy’s been here for years and you somehow never saw him before? You must be even more oblivious than me.”
The attendants and guards began snickering at the reminder while Blueblood fumed in silence. Emboldened, Thomas would have regaled them with more tales of the Prince’s ‘heroism’ but Luna threw her hand out in front of him in a signal to stop. Thomas looked up at her to ask why, but her determined eyes never left the Prince.
“We did not think a member of the royal family would need reminding of this fact,” Luna lectured through gritted teeth. “But when a Princess asks a question, she expects to be answered quickly and concisely. Thou hast accused Thomas of defying a royal order and assault. If we have to ask thee again, it will be thee who is sent to the dungeon. Are we clear?”
Blueblood was visibly shaken from the threat, but pressed on in absolute certainty in his rightness. “Ah, yes. I suppose it will be relevant to the courts when they hear exactly why the little beast is rotting in the deepest darkest dungeon in all of Canterlot,” he boasted to the amusement of no one. “Auntie, I know that you have taken a fancy to this… thing, so it saddens me to inform you that, several days ago, this little ape refused an explicit order to join me in my chambers.” He concluded, confidently oblivious to the gawking stares of the surrounding ponies. All he cared about was Luna who still wore a stern expression.
“I was utterly distraught at having been stood up by such a creature,” he continued. “I went to go find him, but alas it had already fled the castle. So it was not until just yesterday that I was able to find him again, no doubt he has just come out of hiding.”
“I was visiting the city and came back later that night,” Thomas said incredulously, but Blueblood did not seem to hear.
“I found the little beast lifting weights in the gym as though he was not a guilty criminal,” Blueblood scoffed. “The nerve. Anyway, when I moved to confront him about his transgression, offering to forgive him if he only spent the next few weeks in my chambers as my plaything, he set that vile griffon on me in a vicious assault. I fought her off as best I could, but a gentleman such as myself was simply no match for her barbarism. See?” He pointed at a slight bruising on his collar bone where Talon had grabbed him. “I was lucky to get away with my life. But fear not, auntie. For once we have taken this beast into custody, we shall move to subdue the savage griffon as well.”
All eyes widened in disbelief at Blueblood’s tale. Even the guards he’d brought turned to face him to check if he was actually being serious right now. To their horror, he was.
Luna looked down at the human by her side. “Is this true, Thomas. Did thou refuse to accompany the Prince to his chambers?”
“Y-yes,” Thomas answered hesitantly.
“Interesting,” Luna nodded. “And did you not also explain to us just last night how the griffon, Lady Talon, came to your defense when you were being threatened by our nephew?”
“Now hold on a second,” Blueblood huffed. “That’s not…”
“And did you not also say that this all occurred in the presence of dozens of witnesses?”
Seeing where this was going, Thomas gave a more confident nod.
“Very well. Now that we have heard all the facts, we are confident in our ability to dispense justice appropriately. Prince Blueblood.”
“Yes, auntie,” he answered with self-righteous grin.
“Get out.”
A pregnant pause followed and Thomas could have sworn he saw a tumble weed roll past Attentive Eye.
“My deepest apologies, auntie. But I don’t think I heard you right. Could you say that again?”
“Very well.” Luna cleared her throat. “Get the buck out of our room before we have thee thrown out.”
Blueblood’s ears and face drooped as he stared at Luna with flabbergasted eyes. “W-what?”
“Must we repeat ourselves again?” Luna gave an exasperated sigh. “Thou attempted to coerce dearest Thomas into thine chambers. When he refused, as was his right, you resorted to threats. Just to make it clear, you threatened OUR lover in front of us.”
“B-b-but I am a Prince and I gave an explicit royal order for him to accompany me in exactly thirty minutes. Do you have any idea how humiliated I was when I went to investigate an hour later, only to find he’d departed the castle to flee his responsibilities?”
“With all due respect, Prince,” Thomas seethed. “There’s no way in hell I’m giving you the time of day.”
“I. Am. The. Prince!” Blueblood roared, the volume of his voice making Thomas flinch. “And you…”
“Thomas,” Luna said cut the Prince off. “If we were to throw the Prince out the window, how long would he fall before a Pegasus guard rescued him?”
“Um, depends on if there are any pegasi nearby. Are there even that many in the night court?”
“A fair question,” Luna nodded, lighting her horn threateningly. “Shall we try and find out?”
“You can’t be serious,” Blueblood gasped.
“Of course not,” Luna assured.
“Heh,” Blueblood sighed. “That’s a relief.”
“If we were to do that, sister Celestia might take pity on him before administering her own punishment upon him.”
“Celestia? P-p-punishment?” Blueblood stuttered.
“Indeed. For you see, nephew, you are a charge of the day court, making you Celestia’s responsibility. We spoke with her yesterday and she was most displeased to hear of such unbecoming behavior from a Prince, her nephew.” While Luna explained the situation, Thomas wondered if she might be taking a bit too much enjoyment from watching the Prince squirm, then he decided it would be hypocritical to judge her for something he was doing too. “We suspect that you will be summoned to speak with her once preparations are made.”
“P-preparations?” Blueblood was shaking more than a Chihuahua dog.
“Most certainly,” Luna affirmed with a sinister grin. “Tia has always had a passion for elaborate punishments. How thou hath escaped them for so long baffles the mind, but thou will learn thy lesson soon enough.”
“Wonderful news, beloved auntie,” Blueblood cheered. “I have decided to drop all charges against your, uh, him. This was only a minor grievance and I’m certain he didn’t mean to be insolent. Maybe some other time then. Ta ta.” He waved goodbye, nearly tripping over his own hooves as he rushed to the door. But before he left…
“And Blueblood,” Luna called.
“Yes?”
“Tia might prefer the elaborate and complex, but I have always felt the direct approach was best,” Luna said flatly. “Threaten my Thomas again, and there won’t be enough of you left to fit in a tea cup. Understand?”
And Blueblood teleported away, leaving two very confused guards to stand around awkwardly before remembering that they had very important duties anywhere but in reach of Princess Luna. However, just as the situation began to calm, Luna shot a very disapproving look over to her attendants, who lowered their heads in shame.
“What do you mean I can’t go to the night court anymore?” Thomas complained to Attentive Eye as they made their way to breakfast.
“Exactly as I said,” Attentive Eye said matter-of-factly. “With all due respect, a concubine serves no function at court except as a distraction and potential source of scandals. Ponies are still adjusting to the night court and the last thing anypony needs is a headliner on the Princess or her concubine being caught in an indecent position. Even what you two did at the restaurant the other day was too risky.”
“How did you…”
“The point is,” Attentive Eye cut him off. “Ponies will not take night court seriously until we start taking night court seriously. That means that from now on, I do not want to see you anywhere near the Princess until the court is in recess. When that happens, you can do whatever you want.”
“But what am I supposed to do between breaks?”
“I honestly don’t care,” Attentive Eye was letting her frustration leak through. “As long as you stay on the castle grounds where you can be summoned by the Princess, you can do whatever you like, so long as I don’t end up reading about it in the paper.”
Thomas looked up at Luna, pleading for her to talk some sense into this control freak mare, but the Princess only gave a defeated sigh.
“Oh, would the two of you grow up?” Attentive Eye groaned. “So you won’t be spending twenty four hours together anymore. You’ll live. I don’t spend every waking second with my herd and our relationship is just fine.”
Deciding that he needed to put on a strong front for Luna, and not think about Attentive Eye having a herd, Thomas straightened up and addressed the secretary in a more even tone. “So am I going to get summoned by one of the other servants or something?”
“You really think we’d let castle staff know every time the Princess got horny?” Attentive ignored the snickering attendants. “That completely defeats the purpose of the discretion required of your position. But in answer to your question,” Attentive Eye turned to the alicorn, “Princess?”
Luna nodded as her entourage came to a halt in the hall. She put her hands on Thomas’ shoulders, and held him firmly in place, closing her eyes and lighting her horn. Before Thomas could ask what was going on, he felt a sudden pressure on the inside of his forehead as his vision was colored by the teal aura of Luna’s magic.
“Ugh. What was that?” Thomas groaned as he pressed his hand against the front of his head.
“Test it,” Attentive Eye answered.
Luna nodded and lit her horn again.
Thomas flinched as the pressure returned, beating like a small heart. *Thump-thump*, but much softer and without the world changing color. “Huh?”
“Excellent,” Attentive Eye remarked. “That, Sir Thomas, is a magical beeper. The beating you feel inside your head is the signal to let you know that your Princess has need of you. When you feel the beeping in your head, simply make your way to wherever Luna happens to be at the time. Tonight we’ll be holding court in the throne room. You’ll be notified if there are any changes.”
Thomas looked up in a vain attempt to see what had just been done to his head. “Seems like an awful lot of trouble for a booty call.”
“Not at all,” Attentive Eye countered. “In fact, my research shows that this has been a tried and true method used by both Princesses to great effect dating back almost five thousand years. Princess Luna is quite familiar with the spell and it’s about time she got back into the habit of using it.”
That was that and the entourage continued their trek to the dining hall where Celestia and only four of her concubines were waiting. As they entered the room, Talon jumped up and glided across the room to stand beside them. She greeted the Princess and then threw her arm around the human.
“Come on, chimp. I’ll show ya to your seat,” she said as she lead the way to Luna’s side of the table and sat down to his right. “Yo, waiter,” she called one of the butlers. “We’ll have a couple short stacks. Bring me a black coffee and a glass of milk for the milk drinker.”
The butler wrote down the orders and left.
“Milk drinker?” Thomas asked.
“You say you’re an adult, but that makes you the only adult I know that likes milk outside of cereal.”
“Hey. Don’t diss milk,” Thomas struggled to release himself from the griffon’s grasp. “Milk helps you grow and makes your bones stronger.”
“So you’re saying that you could have been even punier than you already are?” Talon raised her eyebrows.
“That’s quite enough, Talon,” Celestia chided gently. “Let the poor colt eat his pancakes. You can rough house later.”
Talon looked between Thomas and Celestia before releasing her grip. “Only for you, Leste.”
Pet names, Thomas thought. He’d never been comfortable with such things, and even a little offended when anyone tried to call him by anything but the name his parents gave him, mostly because most people who did so knew how much it bothered him and did so only to tease. He’d never called Talon out on her calling him ‘chimp’ out of fear of causing offense, but over time became used to it. She was just being friendly and didn’t mean any malice.
However, there was still something odd about giving pet names to the Princess. He assumed that Talon and Celestia were as informal with one another as he and Luna, but that didn’t stop it from being odd the more he thought about it. Why are concubines allowed to say things which would come off as disrespectful from any other pony? Not even Captain Shining armor, the few times I’ve seen him, has ever addressed the Princesses with such familiarity, save for Cadence. Even if we are trusted to see the alicorns at their most vulnerable, does that really make it alright for us to…
“Yo, chimp!” Talon called as she shook the human out of his inner monologue. “Equestria to chimp. You in there?”
Thomas returned to reality to the amusement of the surrounding ponies who snickered as if they were foals who had just spotted someone who fell asleep during class.
“Dearest Thomas. Art thou truly so bothered at the prospect of no longer being by our side?” Luna asked. There was a pause as the surrounding ponies stared in silence, Celestia included, waiting for some explanation at the Princess’ potentially scandalous revelation. “Oh. Oh! Oh no. We did not mean it like that,” the flustered Luna insisted to the spectators. “We only meant that-” she began before being cut off.
“Senior Concubine Thomas has been assigned his royal beeper,” Attentive Eye informed. “His presence has increasingly become a distraction these last few weeks and Princess Luna needs to devote her full attention to the night court while it is in session. It is about time the matter of the Princess’ harem was treated with much more professionalism.”
The silence of the hall persisted an excruciating few seconds more as Thomas’ mind raced with panic. He hadn’t considered it earlier, but the way Attentive phrased it, it sounded like this was some sort of punishment. Was he in trouble? Would there be further consequences? Then one of the concubines shrugged acceptingly and the idle chatter resumed. Thomas caught wind of the mention of “Celestia’s girth” before he looked up to see that Luna looked almost as relieved as he was to escape that awkwardness.
“Aww,” cooed the griffon. “Was da wittle chimp worried he got in twable?”
“Shut up,” Thomas grumbled as the butler brought him his pancakes, which he proceeded to shovel down in an effort to smother his embarrassment. He didn’t even notice when Celestia gave her sister a disappointed look.
“Ease up there, bud. Just a little teasing between friends,” Talon reassured as she leaned in for a whisper. “You wouldn’t have needed to worry at all if you’d just done like I said and talked to Luna about your duties.”
Before Thomas could press the griffon on what she meant, she’d already dived into conversation with her fellow concubines. They were debating which produce market had the freshest ingredients. Thomas had no comment and ate his meal in relative silence, only offering a few words whenever his opinion was called for. He was too preoccupied with the word Attentive Eye used. Professionalism. I need to be more professional. He told himself. Familiarity and feelings don’t matter. This is just a job. So why does that thought bug me so much?
Once more, Celestia seemed quite disappointed with her sister’s failure to notice.
**********
After breakfast, everyone went their separate ways. Celestia and three of her concubines returned to her wing of the castle to, in all likelihood, do things behind closed doors. When the issue of Blueblood had been brought up, a malicious smile grew upon the Sun Princess’ face. Whatever she had planned, Thomas was far too intimidated to ask. Luna and her entourage set course for the throne room to begin the night court, but not before she gave Thomas a goodbye kiss on the forehead. Apart from the butlers and maids cleaning up the table, the only ones left in the dining hall were Thomas, Moonlight, and Talon.
The griffon grinned sinisterly down at the human.
“What?” he asked, but she gave no immediate response. “What?”
“You. Me. Gym. Now,” she concluded as she took his hand in her claw and began leading him down the hall. Moonlight followed silently.
“Not so rough,” Thomas whined.
“That right there,” Talon pointed out. “That’s exactly why we need to buff you up, little colt. Believe me when I say that, when it comes to alicorns, there’s no such thing as ‘too rough’.”
“Um, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, I think, but I still don’t know if this is really necessary,” Thomas said hesitantly before looking to Moonlight for help.
“You’re the one who asked for my help, remember?” Talon chided. “Don’t chicken out now.”
“I can’t imagine a bit of exercise would do anything but improve your… performance,” the guard answered.
“There ya go,” Talon bragged. “That’s two against one. We’re heading to the gym. But first, we need to find us a nice mare for you to practice smooching.”
“I was hoping you’d forget that part,” Thomas grumbled.
“Not likely,” Talon beamed. “Now then, we need to find ourselves some suitable candidates.”
“Forgive me if I still don’t fully grasp what you’re doing,” Moonlight began, “But won’t any mare do?”
Talon slowly turned her predator eyes on the guard. “You volunteering?”
Moonlight’s cheeks turned bright crimson, but her lips were sealed shut to stop her from saying anything she might regret, or worse, might not.
“Can we not drag Moonlight into this?” Thomas pleaded. “I don’t want to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to.”
“Smarty-corn’s already balls deep in this, but you’re right,” Talon retorted. “That would be a little advanced for both of you.”
“Advanced?” Moonlight inquired.
“Ooh,” Talon cooed as she brought the group to a halt, staring down a split in the hall. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”
Thomas followed Talon’s line of sight until he spotted a maid, as distinguished by her frilly French maid uniform, which still looked like something out of a fetish scenario to him. She was a cream colored earth pony with a curly light brown mane and was humming to herself as she absentmindedly dusted an old portrait of some stern looking stallion. The skirt of her dress was hiked up along the sides just enough to reveal a feather duster for her cutie mark.
“She’s perfect,” Talon congratulated herself before turning to Thomas. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Get your flank over there and do what needs to be done.”
Thomas paled, the reality of what he’d agreed to suddenly weighing heavy on his shoulders. “Just like that? You want me to just go up to some strange mare and kiss her?”
“Or you could ask first,” Talon suggested. “I’m not picky, so long as it’s done.”
Thomas quivered in place, both from fear and from feeling the hall suddenly becoming very cold.
“I think he’s frozen,” Moonlight observed.
“Oh, fine,” Talon groaned with a roll of the eyes. “Since it’s your first time, I’ll give ya a handicap.” She stomped over to the maid, leaving her companions behind.
“Hello?” Moonlight whispered into Thomas’ ear, her hot breath a noticeable contrast against the cold and unfeeling hall and causing Thomas to shiver, for another reason, as he came back to reality.
“Ugh, what? What’d I miss?”
“Huh,” Moonlight scowled. “I suppose you really do need this.” She peered over at Talon conversing with the maid. “I must admit, I’m a little impressed with her expertise.”
“Expertise in what?”
“When we met, I had dismissed her as a common letch,” Moonlight confessed somberly before a smirk took her face. “She is most certainly a letch, but far from common. She met with me on my day off the other day and we had a nice long chat about things.”
“What sort of things?”
“Private things,” Moonlight beamed.
“No problem,” Thomas shook his head. “I’m not one to pry into other people’s business, even if they are ponies. We all need our privacy.”
“But sometimes we don’t,” Moonlight countered, turning back to face Talon who was now laughing with the mare maid. “Sometimes we need a friend to help us talk things out.” She paused. “I think we’re both lucky to have a friend like Talon.”
Before Thomas could answer, he turned to see Talon approach with the maid. “Oh. Hey there!” he waved sheepishly to the blushing maid.
“This here is Dusty Feather,” Talon gestured. “She’s agreed to go in the broom closet and take it up the flank.”
“What!?” Thomas and Moonlight gasped.
“Oh stop it,” Dusty Feather laughed as she gave Talon a light push. “Don’t take this old bird brain too seriously.”
“Old?” Talon’s feathers ruffled.
“You folks can call me Dusty,” she extended her hand, which Thomas and Moonlight took cautiously. “But yes, I did agree to this little deal you have going. After all, it’s not every day a lowly maid, like myself, gets to spend some time with a royal concubine, and such a handsome one at that.”
Thomas blushed at her words.
“More like every week,” Talon jeered.
“Maybe for you, but those days are over for me,” Dusty reminded gently. “I’m married now,” she brushed her hair aside to reveal a ring and two feathers braided into her mane, “and I’m quite faithful to both my husband and my wives.”
“And yet here you are, consorting with whorses just like the old days,” Talon teased. “Disgraceful.”
“Oh hush, you,” Dusty laughed. “I’m just returning a favor to an old friend. Thomas was it?”
Thomas was suddenly reminded that he existed. “Uh, yeah.”
Dusty leaned in to Talon. “Sweet Celestia, he’s cute when he’s embarrassed.”
“You doubted me?” Talon raised an eyebrow.
“Never,” Dusty tittered before composing herself. “Now then, Mr. Thomas.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he jumped to attention like a good little soldier, causing the mares and griffon to giggle.
“We’ve never had the pleasure, but you’ve been Senior Concubine to Luna long enough that you’ve probably figured out what she likes. However, if you want to really impress her, along with your future fellow concubines, there are a few things you should know that work on mares in general.”
Thomas gulped. “Like what?”
“Well,” Dusty took a large step forward, closing the distance with the human and making it quite apparent that she was a full head taller than him. “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you to relax, right?”
Thomas nodded frantically before taking several deep breaths, again to the amusement of the surrounding females.
“After that,” Dusty fluttered her eyelids. “Some mares like a stallion who dives right in, but most mares really appreciate a stallion that can romance her from time to time. For the latter,” Dusty gently set her hands on Thomas newly tensed shoulders. “You still need to relax. Yes. Now, you need to lean in, but just a little.”
Thomas nodded nervously and leaned forward ever so slowly.
“Good. Now about this time you’ll be wanting to woo her with a few sweet words, or maybe a bit of dirty talk,” Dusty leaned in and closed the gap between their lips, her hot breath pelting his face and smelling vaguely of vanilla. “You’ll have to be the judge of what’s best. For now, why don’t you practice by saying something nice about me? Go on,” she encouraged with a titter.
Thomas felt his body quake as his mind raced. “I… uh…”
“Go on.”
“I… l-like your, uh, mane accessories?”
“Very nice,” Dusty giggled. “I’m guessing you don’t know, but these are actually marriage tokens.” She pointed at her mane. “The feathers show my Pegasus wives and the ring my unicorn husband. Since I don’t have a horn, I tie the ring in my mane just like the feathers, though I suppose I could just wear them all around my neck. I think this looks cuter. Oh, silly me; rambling on like that. Anyway, after that, you’ll want to lean in about ninety percent of the way. Yes, that’s it. The key to romance is to make the other pony want you. Make her want to take that last little step and seal the deal. Understand?”
Do I understand? Thomas asked frantically. I don’t know. The heat from Dusty’s body had completely erased all traces of cold. Her honeyed voice bore promises of great pleasure and was so sweet that he swore he could taste sugar. It was like the first night with Luna all over again. He tried to distract himself from the firm breasts pressed against his chest, and her powerful scent which he couldn’t stop from inhaling, but his own body refused to cooperate. Stupid penis. Stop being turned on by the amazon in the sexy maid outfit. He pleaded in vain as he tried looking to his companions for help. Talon’s head feathers were fluffed out while her wings were twitching to flare out, eyes transfixed with the scene. Moonlight wasn’t much better as her fur had turned bright apple red.
“Hmm,” Dusty smiled gently. “That’s a good stallion. You’ve done just enough to make me want to finish the job. I think a certain somepony’s earned his special little reward.”
Fear grew distant in Thomas’ heart. It was still there, but not nearly as prominent. His eyes closed in a confusing mix of peace and exhilaration. This was happening. Even through his own lids, he could almost see Dusty leaning closer, closing the distance between them with painful slowness. He wanted her. He wanted this. And here it came.
*Thump-thump*
Thomas eyes shot open and he pulled back in shock.
Moonlight and Dusty looked perplexed while Thomas focused on the gentle rhythm in his head, but Talon stomped her foot impotently.
“Oh come on! You were almost there.” When the mares turned to her, Talon rolled her eyes. “He’s being summoned,” she grumbled.
“Oh,” Dusty said as she turned back to Thomas. “I guess we’ll have to cut this a little short.”
“Yeah. Guess so,” Thomas sighed, unsure if he felt relief or disappointment. “Maybe we’ll…”
He was cut off when a pair of warm, moist lips suddenly and firmly pressed against his own. Unable to move, Thomas simply stood and accepted the gift.
“That’s my mare!” Talon cheered.
Moonlight remained silent.
“I, um, um, I,” Thomas stuttered before the smiling mare.
“Best get along, then,” Dusty gestured in the direction of the royal court.
Thomas stared blankly as his mind worked desperately to make sense of what had just happened. “Kaythanksbye!” and he darted off with Moonlight jogging behind him.
“Sooo…” Talon rested her head on her friend’s shoulder. “How was he?”
Dusty smiled. “Inexperienced, but not bad. Why?”
Talon frowned. “Ya kinda helped him cheat just then. He needs to be the one to do the kissing.”
“He would have if he hadn’t been summoned,” Dusty offered encouragingly.
“Almost only counts in horse shoes and lightning bolts,” Talon crossed her arms in a huff. “I’ve got my work cut out for me.”
“Stop pretending you don’t enjoy it,” Dusty put her hand on the griffon’s shoulder. “If you were a pony, I think you’d have gotten your cutie mark in teaching.”
“If I were a pony, I don’t think my flank’d be big enough for all my talents.”
**********
As Thomas rushed down the hall, following where the *thump-thump* in his head guided him, he reflected heavily on what had just happened. I just kissed another mare, or rather she kissed me. He wondered frantically. Was that cheating, even if Luna gave me permission? And it sounded like Tali had been doing that and more with the same mare. He paused to reflect on the cream colored earth mare and his feelings towards her. Do I want her? She said she’s married, but she was still willing. Does she want me? Why do I care so much? What the hell is wrong with these ponies!?
Thomas finally made his way to Luna’s office, just as the last of her appointments were departing. He composed himself as best he could and humbly entered the place he felt he was entitled to be, as if he’d been granted some strange power by the recent experience. If that were the case, he’d make sure to spend every last ounce of it on pleasing the one mare who truly mattered. Once she had been pleased, Thomas returned to Talon and she began his self-defense lessons. And so a new routine was established.
**********
Later, in Blueblood’s room
“So,” Attentive Eye began as she examined the walls decorated with numerous trophies and ribbons for athleticism, debate team, and various other accomplishments. “Am I to understand that all went well?”
“It was exactly as you said,” Blueblood sighed as he relaxed in his bed. “Those three fillies just stood by and let me say whatever I wanted. And I think that unicorn even looked a bit pleased with the whole affair.”
“Did she now?”
Blueblood silently nodded. “It was like she was hoping Luna would give the little colt to me as a token of apology or something.” He shuddered. “Dreadful.”
“Would you have accepted if she did?” Attentive asked thoughtfully.
“Hmm.” Blueblood touched his chin. “There’s an idea. It’s certainly been a while since I played the role of the gallant savoir.” He smirked. “I’d welcome him to my humble abode,” he said as he waved his hand across the shining splendor of his room. “Make him feel nice and safe with me, slowly familiarize him with my touch, and then finally consummate our love in an act of spontaneous bliss.” With a sigh he lazily turned his head to face the mare. “We both know Luna would never come to that, but a stallion can dream, can’t he?”
“Indeed.” Attentive nodded as she turned from the trophy wall to face the naked Prince. “Was there anything else of note?”
“That filly, Moonlight Shield. She’s a feisty one,” Blueblood said with a grin. “That little monkey’s gonna have his tiny hands full with her, or her with him. Whichever,” he added with a shrug.
“You think they’ll end up together?”
“Attentive,” Blueblood laughed. “Is my acting so magnificent that I even have you fooled, too?” He asked, but Attentive gave no response. “I’ve been at this long enough that I can tell these things. Even if she doesn’t realize it yet, that mare’s soon going to have an itch that only a foreign monkey animal can scratch.”
“I see. Does that mean you’re ready to let them in on your little game?”
“It’s hardly my game,” Blueblood chuckled. “But not yet. I must admit that look of fearful defiance that little colt gives me,” he shuddered, “sends chills down my spine. I’d like to stretch this out a while longer, if that’s not too much trouble,” he said questioningly.
“I suppose,” Attentive said as she shrugged. “You do seem to be taking a special enjoyment out of this test. I haven’t seen you this passionate about a project in some time. You even managed to get under Talon’s feathers back in the gym.”
“I know,” Blueblood chuckled. “I’ve really been in top form with this one. Though I fear the muse is fleeting at the moment so it may be some time before I’m ready to play again.”
“If I may ask, what is your opinion on Thomas overall?”
“Small and cute,” Blueblood hummed idly. “He’s quiet, but he also has a knack for attracting strong females as his protectors. Good thing too, because I don’t see him adapting too well to Canterlot high society any time soon. Will that be all?”
“Did you want to resume interviews for a new harem?”
Blueblood let out a long agonized groan. “More loathsome bottom feeders?”
“Shall I take that as a ‘no’?” Attentive asked with the faintest hint of a grin.
“You can take that ‘no’ and shove it up Kibitz’ wrinkled old ass,” Blueblood growled. “I’d been looking for an excuse to get rid of the last batch for weeks when a certain monkey decided to make an appearance.” He grinned. “When Celestia asked me to cause a scandal to decoy attention, I swear I was practically skipping down the halls to give those petty sluts the good news.” He sighed in contentment. “Be a dear and remind me to thank Thomas when we finally get around to telling him.”
“As you say.” Attentive nodded and prepared to leave, only to stop as she gripped the door handle and turn to face the Prince.
“Yes. Is there something else?”
“I just want to know. How can somepony enjoy this kind of negative attention so much?”
“Who can say?” Blueblood said with a shrug. “It’s just my nature. Good thing too. I doubt any other pony would have the stomach for my job like I do. Princesses need a scandal to distract the masses from a matter of national security? Boom. Blueblood drops his entire harem,” he smirked. “The crown needs an ear to the ground where no respectable pony would dare let themselves be seen? Boom. In walks the hated Prince with a troubled past looking to make a quick buck and get back at she who raised him. The newly reformed Princess of the Night comes back and needs a pony to make her look good in comparison? Boom. You know who gives a masterfully tactless speech immediately following hers.” He sighed fondly. “And now that the new concubine and guard need themselves a little foe to unite against. Boom. Guess who.”
Luna gave a contented sigh as she awoke. Shifting on her side, she felt a familiar presence. She looked over her back to find her precious little human spooning her. Though his head didn’t even come up to her shoulders, it was still comforting the way he wrapped his arms around her. An appreciative smile came to her face when she recognized the familiar sensation of his shaft filling her rear. They had fallen asleep like this and he hadn’t pulled out all day, which was just fine for the Princess. There was a nostalgic comfort in waking up impaled on a male’s rod. It was stiff inside her, in what modern males referred to as morning wood.
She wiggled her rump slightly, but Thomas barely stirred. So she gave her anus a quick clench around his member and his eyes shot open, much to her amusement. “Good evening, my little human.”
Thomas took a moment to gauge his surroundings until he realized where he was and what she’d done. He leered up at her with a half-smile. “That was just mean.”
“We do not recall any such complaints yesterday,” Luna hummed playfully. “Forgive the misunderstanding, but we were under the impression that thou enjoyed the royal plot.”
Still smiling, Thomas shook his head. It was too early for this. “You’re still a meanie pants.”
Luna cocked an eyebrow. “Meanie pants? Would we not have to first wear pants in order to earn such a title?”
“That’s for amateurs,” Thomas said, burying his face into one of her folded wings. “You’re too awesome to be tied down by such petty… what?”
Luna cupped her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggling. “Forgive us, but it seems thou art still exhausted from thy previous endeavors. Thy banter is most… lacking.”
Thomas jutted his lower lip out in the best pouting expression he could muster. “You really are a meanie.” His lip quivered before curving back into a smile. “Also, I hold you entirely responsible for working me over like that.”
“As is your right,” Luna conceded as she sat up, letting the covers fall and reveal her bare chest.
Thomas attempted to follow suit, but fell back onto the mattress with a groan, his shaft still embedded in the Princess. When Luna turned to him in concern, he could only offer a dumb smile. “My hips are sore.”
Luna smiled sympathetically and finally pulled herself free of his still erect shaft with a soft squelching sound. The Princess briefly frowned at the sudden feeling of emptiness, but returned her attention to Thomas as she lay on her side. Her left hand supported her head while her right gently caressed his chest. “Dearest Thomas, thou art such a gallant soldier to press on under such hardships,” she cooed softly. Her hands glided further south until they reached his hips, causing her human to flinch at her touch.
“You do realize those hardships I was under were your butt cheeks, right?” Thomas asked as he lay beside the Princess, motionlessly enjoying her touch.
“We had our suspicions, but didn’t want to assume,” Luna smiled back as her middle finger circled his nipple before tracing down his stomach. “It seems as though thy frame is taking to thy new training.”
“Thy?” Thomas asked coyly.
Luna pursed her lips in annoyance as she stared at Thomas’ smug expression. “You… are lucky that you’re cute.”
“Is that all?” Thomas cocked his head. “I could have sworn there was something else,” he wondered. “What was it you said last night?”
Luna’s indigo cheeks tinted with pink.
“I swear it was a ‘G’ word.”
“Oh, would you look at the time!?” Luna quickly departed the bed and headed for the balcony in her birthday suit. Her horn lit, and as the last light of the setting sun disappeared over the horizon, the stars were quickly painted across the sky with the expertise of a brushstroke and the more subtle light of the moon came into being.
It never failed to impress Thomas how beautiful the nights in Equestria were, nor how beautiful Luna looked making them. She had an almost glow about her as she performed her art. However, Thomas was distracted as he noticed her tail was slightly raised. He’d come to learn that raising the tail was both a voluntary and involuntary gesture of arousal. He figured that Luna’s body was still reacting to having been impaled all day long, making this involuntary. Still, it filled him with satisfaction that his actions had this kind of impact on her body. Sometimes, in his more insecure moments, he would wonder if her compliments were born out of pity because of his small size. However, it was not so easy to lie with body language, and Thomas felt reassured that his Princess was indeed attracted to him, at least to an extent.
“Glorious,” Thomas blurted, causing Luna to flinch. “That was the word you used, if I recall correctly.”
Luna turned slowly around to face her little human. She bore a smile, but there was something sinister behind her eyes. Thomas felt his blood run cold as he could tell he’d just crossed a line. She left the balcony, strutting slowly as she closed the distance towards the bed. Her hips swayed seductively and her breasts bounced far more than was necessary, but her eyes promised something far less pleasant.
Luna’s half smile grew as her eyes zeroed in on his erection. It had twitched ever so slightly in what she could only assume was excitement. She loved toying with him like this, asserting herself with nothing but a look. It was a skill any good ruler needed to learn, to be able to command those around you without the need for word or action. Luna had learned this skill well and loved bringing it into the bedroom.
Finally the Princess had walked up to Thomas’ side of the bed where she loomed ominously over him. He hadn’t budged an inch, waiting nervously to see what she had planned. Luna smirked, maintaining her visage of the proud seductress, which she was, but that was not her intent. Today was Saturday, meaning there were no appointments in night court, the attendants had the time off, and it would even be forgivable if she missed breakfast with her sister. Really, there was no reason why she couldn’t just stay in her room all weekend and play with her lover, but then she remembered the way he flinched.
Thomas was only one male with the daunting task of satisfying the boundless lust of an alicorn all by himself. He lacked the strength of an earth pony, the dexterity of a Pegasus, and he could not embrace her magic with his own as a unicorn would. Luna knew that if she worked him too hard, she could break him. He was fragile, but, strangely, that was part of his appeal. It spoke to a more primal urge, both as an alicorn and a mare, to protect those she cared for. And the way she would engulf the human in her ‘protective’ embrace was like nothing she’d ever experienced with her other lovers, at least not without using magic, but that wasn’t the same. All but the most powerful spells were temporary by nature. At the end of it all, all spells and other trappings removed, this was who and what Thomas really was, and that was what she craved most of all.
Luna lit her horn and engulfed Thomas in her magic, levitating him above the bed. He fidgeted nervously, but didn’t try to fight. He simply tried to stay still as he was lifted higher and higher above the mattress. Smiling, Luna slipped in beneath Thomas and gently levitated him back down on top of her. Luna felt Thomas relax as she finally released her magic and let him rest on top of her, his head, naturally, supported by her breasts while her toned stomach pressed against his back. It made Luna happy that his body would react this way to her. After all, it was so very hard to lie with body language. Hearing him sigh in relief and having something solid, yet soft, beneath him, Luna took it as invitation to wrap her arms around his chest and stomach.
A knock came to the door.
“Come in,” Luna answered gently as she kept her gaze squarely on the human in her embrace.
A mix of squeaking wheels and hoof steps entered the room as a butler pony pushed in a large cart with the evening’s breakfast. From the corner of his eye, Thomas watched the butler look towards the bed briefly before quickly averting his eyes. Thomas couldn’t help by smile. After spending so much time with Talon, it was nice to be reminded that modesty wasn’t an entirely alien concept in this world. The butler announced the breakfast, Luna accepted, and the butler walked out faster than he needed to upon his dismissal.
Luna levitated the tray over to the bed and undid its legs, allowing it to rest comfortably just above Thomas’ waist. There her magic set about arranging the plates and utensils in the manner she figured would be easiest for them both to eat.
“Breakfast in bed,” Thomas commented in amusement as he set his eyes on the short stack before him.
Luna levitated the syrup over her human’s pancakes and began applying it. “We, er, I do believe this is the amount you prefer, yes?”
Thomas rubbed her thigh appreciatively. “Glad to see I’m not the only one who’s learning.”
“Careful now,” Luna warned gently. “That you have a tray of food currently shielding you will not protect thee *tap* you from my wrath forever.”
“Oh, woe is me,” Thomas bemoaned, dramatically bringing his hand to his forehead. “What ever shall I do?”
“You could show a bit more gratitude,” Luna smirked as she lifted her arms from his body and moved towards the larger set of utensils and plates.
“Gratitude, huh?” Thomas asked, stopping just before his first fork hit his mouth. “And how would I go about doing this?” For emphasis he grinded his bare rump into her groin before taking a bite of the syrupy pancake.
Luna let out a surprised grunt, but maintained her composure. If that was how he was going to play, then she had no choice but to retaliate. “Did you know that this position is much more common with the mare sitting atop the stallion?”
Thomas looked up at her, past her breasts, and swallowed. “You don’t say,” he commented in mock surprise. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with stallions usually being larger than mares, would it?”
“Hmm,” Luna tapped her chin while pretending to think. “You may have a point there. However, we, er, I was alluding to something else.” She parted her legs slightly, letting Thomas fall a little ways between them before pressing them back together in his makeshift seat. Luna leaned into to Thomas’ ear and began to whisper. “In this position, were you a mare and we the stallion, it would be we who served as cushion for your… little plot.”
Thomas narrowed his eyes at Luna. “Where are you going with this?”
Luna smiled teasingly before straightening back up. “Where do you think we are going? And answer honestly.”
“I, uh, don’t know.”
“Come now,” Luna nudged him encouragingly. “You have used that beautiful imagination of yours to tell us so many wondrous stories. Use it now to tell us to what we might be alluding to.”
Thomas gulped nervously. This conversation was going to a place he had been dreading for some time. “A-alicorns have powerful magic.”
“Indeed we do,” Luna nodded as she snaked a hand beneath the tray and pressed Thomas’ abdomen against her own. “Capable of performing spells beyond that of the common unicorn. Go on,” she whispered.
“I-I’d rather not.”
Luna frowned as she felt Thomas tense up in her grip. Teasing was only fun until somepony crossed a line. However, they weren’t at that line yet. “Tis clear you have already conceived our meaning,” Luna consoled. “But, in case there is doubt, we were indeed alluding to giving ourselves the second tail of a male, only to give it generously to another male.”
“I-I was afraid of that,” Thomas said.
Luna’s frown deepened as she released her grip on him. “There is no need to fear. We were only teasing,” she assured.
“So… you don’t want to do… that?” Thomas asked nervously.
“There are many things we wish to do,” Luna sighed in disappointment. “But bringing fantasy to reality has no appeal if reality cannot cope. If you do not want it, then we will respect your wishes and not pressure you.”
Thomas gave a relieved sigh. “Thank you.”
She smiled. “You truly are bent towards females, aren’t you?”
“Bent?”
“It means you only like one sex,” she explained. “A mare who only likes other mares is called a filly fooler, while a stallion who is bent towards other stallions is a colt cuddler. However, it seems there are no specific terms for when a stallion is bent only for mares or a mare bent only for stallions. Language is a most peculiar thing.”
“Oh yeah. I think Moonlight explained that once. Where I’m from we just call those last two straight.”
“Straight?” Luna raised an eyebrow. “Thou *tap* you will have to explain this further, but at a later time, But back to the matter at hoof, there is another thing to do in this position which we think you would most enjoy.”
Thomas raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “And what would that be?”
“Imagine a second mare in your lap while you rest in ours,” Luna hummed. “Her soft yet firm flanks pressed against thy aching erection. No doubt she would wiggle in your lap, teasing you, even inviting you in. Perhaps she would be more willing to accept your generosity.”
Again Thomas gulped nervously. “You mean expanding the harem?” It wasn’t really a question.
“Verily,” Luna agreed softly as she took a sip of her drink. “On that note, what do you think of Midnight Chain, Starry Sky, and Lunar Stone?”
Thomas hadn’t expected this turn of events. “Why? What do they have to do with this?”
Luna frowned. “Do you find them appealing?”
“Why?”
“We simply want to know if you find them appealing. Can you see yourself being intimate with them, any of them?”
Thomas paused and considered the question carefully, still uncertain where this was going. “They’re nice, but I don’t really see us like… that. We’re like work friends.”
“Work friends,” Luna nodded ponderously. “As distinct from your friendship with Moonlight and Lady Talon?”
“Yeah,” Thomas agreed. “They’re kinda fun the way they go on about stuff, and they’re nice to me, but it’s just… I don’t really know. I guess the best way for me to put it is that when they’re not around, I don’t really have much desire to see them. Not that I’m saying anything bad about them,” he corrected hastily. “But I can’t really see myself going out of my way to hang out with them like I do with Talon and Moonlight. Even if the latter is kinda forced to be around me, she’s still nicer to hang out with.”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded sagely. “Your feelings reflect our own. It appears that these attendants have failed their trial phase.”
“Failed their what?”
“Their trial phase,” Luna said flatly. “Many sectors of castle staff have a prolonged trial phase to determine if they are suited for the job. The role of royal attendant is no different and, tragically, it seems these three have failed.”
“How did they fail?” Thomas asked worriedly. “They’ve done everything you asked and I’ve heard you laugh at their jokes. Is this just because of what I said?”
“Do not look so worried, dearest Thomas,” Luna gently traced her fingers across his chest. “There is no fault to be had here. As you have said, we simply did not find any of them appealing.”
Thomas furrowed his brow. “So… one of the requirements of being an attendant is being attractive?”
“It is not so simple,” Luna began as she took another bite. “Attractiveness is a bonus, but it has little bearing on a pony’s appeal. You might not have noticed, but we could not help but sense that there might have been something a bit forced about them, like they were trying to be comfortable and friendly when they didn’t necessarily want to.” She met Thomas’ confused gaze and realized that he wasn’t getting her meaning. “To clarify, you passed the trial phase because we found you appealing.”
Thomas blinked back at Luna, looking at her expectantly.
Luna smiled. “Have you already forgotten that your first duties in our service were in the role of attendant? You bathed us, dressed us, and performed other tasks in our company. To borrow your words, when you were absent, we found ourselves longing for your company. That was when we knew that you appealed to us.”
Thomas blushed at the way Luna said those last words. “So…” he began as the pieces fell into place in his mind. “I was an attendant, but because I appealed to you, I passed the trial phase and now…”
“And now you are our Senior Concubine,” Luna finished. “The role of attendant is largely superfluous. Our alicorn magic is more than capable of performing all their tasks with greater efficiency. The position only exists as an entry level for potential concubines. As there are complications in seeking out concubines directly, since most who would apply for such a position are not what we, my sister and I, would be interested in, the attendant was conceived to help build intimacy with those we might be interested in taking to bed.” Luna concluded by wrapping both arms around Thomas and pulling him close, his head slipping between her breasts as her heart beat became more pronounced. “You passed.”
Thomas rested his arms on top of Luna’s and just rested against her, listening to the sounds of her beating heart and churning stomach. Her warmth was intoxicating and the large meal threatened to send him to sleep in her embrace. It was moments like this when Thomas wondered if perhaps his job of concubine was more than a job, but he dismissed those thoughts. Briefly he considered asking, but concluded that he’d only get laughed at for questioning what everyone around him said this was. This was a job, but it was the nicest job anyone could hope for, especially him. He may have just been a prostitute, someone paid to pretend to be a companion, but he liked it. He liked being with Luna. Even the idea of getting ‘coworkers’ didn’t seem so daunting while they were like this. Speaking of which…
“So what’s gonna happen with Midnight Chain, Starry Sky, and Lunar Stone?”
“Most likely they shall be transferred to a different branch of the night court staff, perhaps as maids,” Luna admitted with a discontented sigh. “Then again, they may elect to seek jobs elsewhere. Of course they shall be compensated for the next two weeks in apology for their dismissal. We shall need to do so in person,” Luna fidgeted uncomfortably. “Even if they did not appeal to us, dismissing ponies as nice as them is never pleasant, but we owe it to them to do so face to face. You might do well to occupy yourself elsewhere during that time.”
Thomas nodded somberly. It sucked that they were going to be fired, but that was the nature of working. If you didn’t perform to the boss’s approval, you didn’t get to keep getting paid. This sobering thought lead Thomas to wonder exactly how secure his own position was.
“Enough of these sad discussions of what will not be,” Luna sat up as her magic gripped the tray and levitated it over to the cart. She parted her thighs until Thomas’ rump fell to the mattress beneath as her massive alicorn legs crossed around him. “Do you wish to hear an embarrassing secret,” she whispered playfully into his ear.
Luna’s hot breath made Thomas shiver within her grip, but he nodded slowly. “Sure.”
“Thy little soldier still stands at attention.” Luna added to her point by suddenly gripping his shaft in her palm, which she had enchanted to be rather slick and moist. “And now he is captured. What shall you do?”
Thomas breathed heavily as Luna began slowly pumping him. He struggled to pull his left arm free, leaning forward as best he could so he could reach behind himself. It did not take him long to find her snatch. “I guess I’ll just have to improvise.”
“Challenge accepted!” proclaimed Luna as they began their game of ‘who could hold out the longest’.
Sometime after the game, Luna told Thomas that he would have Fridays off instead of Thursdays. His only response was a huff between already heavy breaths.
Their game concluded, the winner not needing to be named because, in a way, they both won just by playing, Luna decided that it was overdue that they pay a visit to the royal masseuse. While Luna’s groans left no doubt that she enjoyed what Thomas did for her, there was no arguing that he could not compete with professionals. After dressing in more casual clothes, save for Thomas’ loincloth, and Luna enchanting her mane with its ethereal flow, they made the short trek through the castle to the private spa. The facility was fashioned quite extravagantly with violet streamers, pink and blue walls, and red carpeted floor. It was a place that only opened its doors to royalty and those who held royal favor, such as the concubines.
Before they entered, Luna explained to Thomas about the selective-hearing spell. Such a spell was incredibly complex, so special charms were made long ago to save unicorns the trouble of recasting it. In this case, the masseuses wore green stones around their necks to ensure that they could do their jobs without being exposed to private information. The charms were too expensive and complex to mass produce, which is why the royal guards were rarely assigned them, but there were enough to rotate among those who needed them. In the case of the masseuse ponies, their charms made it so that they could only hear their client’s instructions as well as other verbal signals on whether or not they were working the right areas in the right ways. Thomas figured this was related to the behavior of ponies to do as they’re told, to follow the herd so to speak. Luna concluded by assuring Thomas that he should feel free to speak no differently than when they were in private.
“Princess Luna,” a pale gray unicorn stallion greeted warmly. His mane was a white Mohawk while his knee-length tail wagged excitedly behind him. He wore a white vest, short shorts, and the charm that was a necklace with a green stone around his neck. “I was wondering when you’d visit us next.”
“A pleasure as always, Firm Touch,” Luna tilted her head. “It has been difficult to find the time, what with the many duties of the night court.”
“Which is exactly why your attendance here is so important,” Firm Touch added sternly. “The stresses of ruling can leave the body in such wretched pain. What will Equestria do if they need their Princess to make a split-second decision, but she is unable because she is distracted by some bothersome wing ache?”
Luna giggled softly. “That is a bit dramatic, but we can think of no valid argument.”
“Excellent.” Firm Touch nodded firmly before his eyes fell on the human. “And this must be Senior Concubine Thomas, yes?”
“That’s me.”
Firm Touch frowned. “I’m especially disappointed in your absence until now. Not to betray the confidentiality of my other patients, but suffice to say I have worked with the other concubines and know better than most exactly how strenuous a job like yours can be.”
“It’s not that bad,” Thomas assured.
Firm Touch frowned and craned his neck to look at a pink earth pony mare, dressed the same as him, who had been standing silently behind him. He gestured to Thomas and the mare closed the distance between them. She stroked her chin as she stared down at him judgmentally. Thomas squirmed uncomfortably under her stare, trying not to notice how similar it was to the look Luna sometimes gave him before they… did things. This was made harder by the fact that her vest was a V-neck that seemed to stop just above her belly button, showing off far too much cleavage.
God damn these ponies and their inability to comprehend how sexfully they dressed. Thomas swore, briefly wondering if perhaps they knew better than they let on.
“Mister… Thomas, was it?” the mare asked. “It is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Back Breaker and I will be your masseuse for the evening.”
Thomas flinched. “B-Back Breaker?”
“Oh? Have you heard of me?” she asked with a faint smile. “I hope it was something good.”
“N-no. It’s just that, um, how’d you get a name like that?”
Back Breaker hummed in contemplation. “Don’t know. Guess it’s just what my parents thought sounded cutest.”
“Cutest?” Thomas blurted as his mind labored to make sense of her last sentence.
“We can talk more about names later,” Back Breaker dismissed as she reached out and began prodding at his arm. “What matters now is that you’ve got aches all over your body. I swear, if I were less professional, I’d ask what you’d been doing to get it this bad.”
Thomas flinched as the mare meticulously applied pressure to different parts of his arm, eliciting several jolts of pain. “Gah!”
“See,” she said audaciously. “This is worse than I thought. I’m afraid we’re going to have to give you some extra… TLC.”
Thomas swore he heard ominous music playing at the mention of that word.
“Be sure to take good care of my little human,” Luna offered as Back Breaker took Thomas by the hand and began dragging him off.
“Hold on a sec,” Thomas pleaded as he struggled vanely against the earth mare’s superior strength. “What do you mean by that? What are you gonna…” he was cut off by a sudden yank of his arm and brought fully into Back Breaker’s arms.
“There’s no need to worry, little Thomas,” she smiled sweetly, but her eyes promised something far less benign. “I’m a professional.” And with a few quick jabs around his neck and shoulders, Thomas fell lifelessly into her arms.
“Oh dear,” Luna said worriedly as she brought her hand to her cheek. “Was it truly necessary to put him under so quickly?”
Back Breaker nodded assuredly. “There’s no need to worry, your highness. This isn’t my first rodeo. Trust me on this. You’ll both thank me by the time I’m done.”
Luna gave a defeated sigh and nodded. It bothered her to see the masseuse resort to such a drastic measure as to use pressure points to knock Thomas out. However, she did trust the mare’s professionalism. She was also disappointed that he would most certainly remain unconscious for the next few minutes, especially considering the surprise she had planned, but took solace in the mare’s words that they’d both be grateful for her actions later. The Princess of the Night nodded to Firm Touch and he led the way to the room that had already been prepared for her. Inside were three massage tables arranged in a triangle with the heads all facing inward. Two of the tables were large enough to fit an alicorn, one of which was already occupied.
“Hello there, sister,” Celestia greeted calmly as she lay naked and belly down on her table while her own five masseuses went to work on her lower legs and shoulders. “What ever happened to Thomas?”
“Alas, dearest Thomas is in need of much more intense treatment, so they felt it best to put him under for the more painful parts,” Luna explained as she disrobed and Firm Touch guided her to the other large table. Back Breaker gently laid Thomas onto his own table.
“Shame,” Celestia hummed. “Oh well. I suppose we should take advantage of this and have ourselves some mare-talk.”
Luna cocked an eyebrow in intrigue as a smile broke upon her lips. “Very well. What did you have in mind?”
“Stallions,” Celestia scoffed as though it should have been obvious. “It’s just not mare talk without stallions.”
Luna giggled softly at her sister’s deliberate contradiction. “Any particular stallions you’d wish to discuss?” She asked, her eyes trailing over Thomas’ unconscious form.
“You do know the world doesn’t actually revolve around him, right?”
“We are aware.”
“Just making sure.”
The doors opened once more and five other masseuses entered. They surrounded Princess Luna and began gently tending to her extremities while Firm Touch departed. Back Breaker cracked her knuckles and began her solo work on the human.
“Anyway, it looks as though you’ve really been working the little guy over if they needed to knock him out for this.”
As if to make her point, Back Breaker shot her arm up into the air before bringing her elbow down hard against Thomas’ back in with a force that would impress most wrestlers.
“Indeed,” Luna sighed as her faced scrunched in pleasure at the masseuses expert touch. “He has taken to his training with Lady Talon quite well.”
“She’s said he’s been very enthusiastic so far,” Celestia hummed. “However, he seemed especially reluctant when she suggested a stallion as an instructor.”
“Ah yes,” Luna said knowingly. “It seems as though dearest Thomas is bent towards mares.”
“Bent?” Celestia inquired with a frown. “That is rather unfortunate.”
“Indeed. Honestly, it is a tragedy for such ponies to be missing out on half the world’s pleasures.”
“Haven’t you mostly preferred mares anyway, sister?”
“That’s hardly the point,” Luna dismissed. “We merely express sympathy to dearest Thomas for being unwilling to know the pleasures of being with a stallion as we do.”
“That’s just the way he is,” Celestia shrugged. “But I was referring to the fact that, quite often, your past harems would consist exclusively of mares. Perhaps this makes him an ideal fit for you, in more ways than one,” she snickered at her own implication. “However, I love the feminine form as much as the next pony, but how could you deny yourself the unique skills of a stallion?”
“Who says we did?” Luna grinned mischievously. “Perhaps it is you who have denied yourself the joys of a mare wielding a phallus?”
“Oh you,” Celestia laughed. “You are just awful.”
The sisters joked with one another, certain that the selective-hearing spell placed over the masseuses would keep their conversation quite private.
“No worse than you, sister,” Luna retorted. “But regardless, we see your point. Having him as our only stallion would not be… unappealing.”
“Oh, temper your enthusiasm, Lulu,” Celestia said sarcastically. “Wouldn’t want ponies to think you were actually eager to sleep with your lovers.”
“Hush you,” Luna said, fighting against a smile.
“But speaking of joys, have you partaken of your more… exotic appetites yet?” Celestia asked with a wide grin.
“Not at this time, no,” Luna said dispassionately. “The little dear is still adjusting to the nature of this world. We have been training him to feel comfortable in the embrace of our magic and, as with his other training, he has been quite enthusiastic.”
“Very good,” Celestia nodded. “It is good that you are being considerate of his culture shock and taking things slow. Is he still ashamed of his body?”
“You mean that silly nudity taboo? Alas, yes. He is quite comfortable while we are alone, but the instant another pony comes in, he becomes adorably bashful,” Luna beamed. “He explained once that, back in his world, nudity outside of bathing was taken as a sign of amorous intent. That is why we asked our old attendants to wear swim suits while we bathed, to make him more comfortable.”
“Old attendants,” Celestia frowned. “Then I take it they weren’t to your liking?”
“Sadly not.”
“I am sorry they did not work out for you.”
Luna shrugged as best she could while lying down. “No need, sister. You made the choices as best you could, which we appreciate, but in the end they simply had no appeal to us.”
“Have they been formally dismissed yet?”
“Not yet. We have already instructed Lady Attentive Eye to give them notifications that, rather than tending their usual duties, they are to meet us in our office this coming Monday after breakfast.”
“Hopefully they will be more cordial than the last attendant I had to dismiss,” Celestia grimaced at the memory. “Guards had to carry her off castle grounds.”
Luna chuckled at her mental image. “Indeed, but we do not think these three will be so dramatic.”
“Regardless, it is best for you to make the next selections anyway. How goes that?”
“We have a list and Attentive Eye is in the process of narrowing down potential candidates.”
“Hmm, lovely,” Celestia sighed, referring more to the massage than her sister’s words. Throughout their conversation the masseuse ponies had moved about the alicorn’s bodies, attending to every strand of tension they could find. The sisters were so relaxed that, if an assassin were to burst through the door armed with war-grade magic, the Princesses might actually be slow to react.
“Verily,” Luna sighed dreamily as her eyes drifted towards Thomas. “Lovely.”
Celestia hummed again before shaking her head to clear her thoughts. “But on the matter of his world’s taboos, what about his reluctance to accept your dream walking?”
“On that he remains quite stubborn,” Luna huffed. “He says that the mind is far too private and personal a domain to be intruded upon.”
Celestia frowned. “He does not trust you to go about your duties and tend to his dreams?”
“We do not think it is a slight against us, personally, but rather something to do with his views on free will,” Luna explained as best she could, but it was clear even she didn’t fully understand what she was saying. “It may be a matter of difference between our species, coupled with the norms and taboos of his culture. We conversed about it once and he still finds it odd how ponies are so much more willing to accept their roles than his kind ever would. As such, he is unwilling to expose the most private parts of himself.” Luna concluded with a regretful sigh.
The sight of her sister looking so sorrowful was too much for Celestia, so the elder alicorn did her sisterly duty and attempted to lighten the mood. “Did you not tempt him with the possibilities of all that can be done within a dream?”
Luna leered across at her sister.
“My mistake,” Celestia laughed. “Of course you did. But he truly said no after that?”
“Alas, he has. He seemed especially reluctant when we brought up the possibility of meeting you in his dreams.”
Shock took Celestia’s face and the masseuses did their best to pretend not to notice.
“Calm thyself, sister,” Luna said reassuringly. “We do not think it has anything to do with a lack of attraction. His body reacted quite normally when we went into detail of your… scrumptious body.” Luna licked her lips, eliciting an appreciative grin from her sister. “But it seems he was quite adamant on denying his attraction out of the fear he might offend us.”
“Offend?” Celestia tilted her head, ears splayed. “How could him having an attraction to me possibly offend you? He is a male with his eyes intact. Does he feel he is not allowed to use them? Further, does he not know what we’ve done in the dream realm?”
“His culture also holds strange notions of exclusivity. From what we have been able to gather, while in a serious relationship, it is quite taboo for his people to express even passing interest in those outside the relationship.”
Celestia’s face scrunched as her mind strained to try and make sense of what she was hearing. “Then… how do they expand their herds?”
“He was most uncomfortable by that point, so we did not press further. We also did not tell him of our… shared activities,” Luna beamed at her sister who returned a knowing and naughty smile. They both knew what they did together in the dream realm, that place of nothing but intangible thoughts where you could do whatever you want without consequence, but it was too embarrassing to say so in front of others, even with the selective-hearing spell in place. The fun the sisters had together in the physical world was all well and good, but what went on in the dream realm went above and beyond the comprehension of mortal minds.
“Ugh… wha…” Thomas grumbled as he slowly came to. “Whah happnd.”
“Welcome back to the land of the living, little human,” a soft and welcoming voice greeted.
Thomas stirred and strenuously turned his head to face the speaker. His eyes shot open at the sight of Princess Celestia, on her belly and surrounded by ponies in white uniforms. But most of all, she was naked, without so much as a towel draped across her plump black side. Her very full breasts retained much of their shape as they squished down into the patted massage table while a pillow propped up her chin. But before any dirty or panicked thoughts could form, Celestia gave him her signature maternal and calming smile that told him all was well. Then he felt a rumble shudder through his body and he lost all feeling below the neck.
“W-what happened? W-why can’t I feel anything?”
“Relax,” Back Breaker assured from outside his line of sight. “Just need to keep you still a little bit longer while I work… out… these… kinks!” She strained on those last words, as if doing something especially challenging, but Thomas couldn’t feel anything. The human was totally helpless and beginning to breathe rapidly.
“Dearest Thomas?” Luna inquired worriedly.
Thomas shot Luna a look with panicked eyes. “I… I can’t move.”
Luna frowned, taking his meaning and looked up to the pink earth mare. “Miss Back Breaker. Would you kindly restore feeling to our concubine?”
“You sure?” Back Breaker inquired skeptically. “We’re still into the less than pleasant part of his…”
“Miss Back Breaker,” Luna said firmly. “Please.”
Nodding, Back Breaker made a series of quick jabs along Thomas’ spine. They all knew it worked when Thomas let out a long pained groan.
“What the hell did you do? It feels like you twisted my spine in a knot.”
“Well I did,” Back Breaker said flatly.
Thomas jerked up to get a better look behind him, wincing in pain as he did so. All seemed where it should be, save for his missing loincloth.
“I put it back. Most ponies don’t like that part, which is why I had to numb you first.”
Thomas let out a more annoyed groan as he let his head fall onto the pillow. “Why me?”
“There there, dearest Thomas,” Luna cooed gently. “Back Breaker has worked her magic on us before. You shall not come to harm under her care, or our watch.”
Thomas felt uneasy at just how at ease his body fell at Luna’s assurances. Does she really have me so well trained that I calm down just because she tells me to? Briefly he considered that this might simply be a matter of trust, but that thought passed quickly.
As Luna watched Thomas visibly relax into the cushioned table, she couldn’t help but let out a soft yet fond sigh. He had been panicking just a moment ago at the prospect of being rendered motionless. He’d been rather uncomfortable the first time she’d levitated him with her magic, but he’d grown used to it. That he’d return to such a state while in the grasp of another showed that, while his alien psyche probably made it so that there would always be things about pony society that made him uncomfortable, at the very least he trusted her. All it took were a few kind words from her and her lover was put at ease.
Meanwhile, Celestia watched both her sister and the human intently. From her angle, she had a pretty good vantage point of both their faces, granting her a unique insight. Thomas was assured by her sister’s words, but at the same time seemed strangely bothered by it. Luna, on the other hoof, wanted nothing more than to faun over the stallion who trusted her so, all without noticing his subtle hints of discomfort. There were some who speculated that Celestia could read minds, but in truth she was merely an expert in reading body language. Her sister was almost as skilled as she, but Celestia attributed her lack of notice to yet another thing that she needed to relearn after being out of practice for a thousand years.
Momentarily Celestia remembered their conversation about Thomas’ alien norms and wondered if perhaps she’d been misreading his signals. Perhaps Luna, as the one who spent the most time with him, really did know he was perfectly fine and that the elder alicorn was simply seeing things that weren’t there. However, she dismissed that thought as it did nothing to diminish her original point. Celestia’s elder sister instincts had kicked in and she rekindled her vow to help her sister learn modern ways and relearn her old skills.
“So, uh, what were you two talking about?” Thomas asked, wincing a bit as Back Breaker set her hands back on him.
“You,” Celestia said with a smile. “We were talking about how well you’ve been adjusting to Equestria, but it would be nice if you could offer your own input.”
“I, uh, guess I’m doing alright. Haven’t caused any major scandals yet, so that’s something.”
Something about his tone bothered the Princess of the Sun. “You know she was just being dramatic, don’t you?”
Thomas looked up at Celestia with confusion. “What? Oh. You mean what Attentive Eye said. It’s no big deal.”
Celestia frowned. Once more something about the way he spoke bothered her. There was the faintest hint of hesitation when he said ‘Attentive Eye’, as if the name alone had somehow hurt him. She shot her sister a look, which the younger alicorn thankfully noticed and understood.
“Dearest Thomas,” Luna began gently. “Lady Attentive’s words were poorly chosen, but even worse was our failure to notice how much they bothered you.”
“I… what?” Thomas forced a smile. “N-no. No. It wasn’t… I wasn’t…”
“Thomas,” Celestia said sternly. “Your mare is expressing concern for your wellbeing.” Her face softened as a loving smile graced her lips. “She’s only looking out for you, you know.”
There it is again. Thomas remarked as a feeling of relief washed over him. Guess it’s not just Luna who can do this to me. Is this magic? Is she somehow enchanting her words to make me believe her? Maybe spending so much time with conforming ponies is rubbing off on me. Either way, why? Is it really so important for Luna’s fuck buddy to feel good about himself? Thomas paused mid thought before the answer became clear. Of course it probably is, but still... why don’t they just send me to a therapist or something?
Thomas felt he would never go to see a therapist anyway. He hadn’t burdened his parents with the knowledge of his problem, nor with the accompanying bills just so he could talk with someone who probably got some useless degree who couldn’t do anything anyway. But did that apply here too? The Princesses were rich, but he’d probably only be talking to someone, er, somepony paid off with taxes, and that was just as bad. Although, if the Princesses recommended a therapist, he or she probably wouldn’t be some amateur looking for a quick buck or bit.
The human was shaken out of his rationalizations as he felt his eyes start to water and he buried his face into his pillow. Thomas needed to hide it, obviously, but he couldn’t quite figure out what had brought this on. He wasn’t in one of his moods, he thought, but this felt different. The rationalizations of why he couldn’t come out were there like always, but they suddenly felt quieter. Once more the human’s thoughts were shaken by the realization that Back Breaker was no longer touching him. He looked up just in time to have his vision engulfed in indigo fur as Luna nuzzled his face.
The Princess of the Night had stepped off her table, naked as the day she was born, and was leaning down beside her human, her stallion. Her long arms snaked around his back and held him firm as she pressed her face into his. With some amusement, Luna briefly considered what the papers would say about her to learn that she had let her stallion feel neglected, even if he was a concubine. The amusement came from the realization at just how little she cared. Thomas was her stallion, titles be damned, and she’d make a terrible excuse for a Princess and a mare to neglect any of her lovers, especially those in such a state. Luna gave no comment as she felt the tiniest of drops stain her fur. There weren’t many, but the fact that Thomas was now leaning into the nuzzle told her enough.
Celestia surveyed the masseuses, giving each of them a gentle unspoken warning to not share what they had seen. Naturally they bowed in acknowledgement. She returned her attention to her sister and her human, smiling approvingly. This was good. Ponies in general were physical creatures and Luna was no exception. A well timed and placed nuzzle spoke louder than any words. However, Celestia frowned as she began to consider the possibility that perhaps humans had a preference for the verbal. There were only a handful of ponies he could hold extended conversations with, including Talon, but even then she often had to initiate. Was willingness to speak with others as significant a gesture for humans as, say, nipping a pony’s ear? Perhaps, but even if that were the case, something about Thomas’ behavior still felt off, something that went beyond the culture gap.
The Princess of the Sun grimaced at the realization of how much thought she’d been dedicating to Thomas’ wellbeing. True that he was an alien from another universe, and one with rather appealing features at that, but he wasn’t her responsibility. He was Luna’s. Luna should be the one fussing over verbal vs. physical cues, not her older sister. Thomas held no magic, so there was no possibility that he might be casting some spell over them to make them think about him this way. She puzzled about it a moment before deciding to return to this line of questioning later. For now, it seemed, the matter had been resolved.
Luna had pulled away from Thomas, but kept her face close as she kissed him on the lips. When Luna asked if he was okay and he responded with an affirmative, she nodded and returned to her table, never taking her eyes off him.
From Celestia’s perspective, this should have been it. A nuzzle like that would normally be enough to ease the worries of any mare or stallion, but deep down Celestia suspected that more was needed. Still, she didn’t want to overstep her bounds, especially with her sister’s love life. This would have to be handled delicately. However, for the time being, the silence demanded to be broken.
“But speaking of scandals that incident with the Prench emissaries was a rather close call,” Celestia teased.
“Not my fault,” Thomas stated flatly as he shot Luna an accusing glare. “I blame her for that one.”
“What? How dare you,” Luna scoffed in false indignation. “We don’t recall hearing any complaints.”
Thomas quickly surveyed the masseuses, but was reassured by none of them paying attention to anything other than their work. “I had a massive plot shoved in my face. Exactly how was I going to complain?”
“He has you there,” Celestia chuckled, reasonably certain that the worst had passed, at least for now.
“It would be more fitting to say that it is we who have him,” Luna said in a posh manner.
“Can’t argue with that,” Thomas laughed along with Celestia until Luna joined them. “Still your fault, though.”
After the massage was finally concluded, the alicorns and human sat up on their respective tables, though the latter did avert his eyes and request his loincloth returned. Thomas remarked how loose his body felt and thanked Back Breaker, though he did flinch at the mare’s suggestion he come back for regular appointments. When Celestia offered that they move onto the sauna together, one look at Celestia body in all its nude glory was all Thomas needed to answer with a very fervent no. Neither Princess showed any signs of disappointment, sharing a wordless agreement to try this again later after Thomas was better adjusted. As Luna and her human departed, Celestia made a mental note their relationship warranted further investigation.
“What’s that look for,” Moonlight asked with a half-smile.
The orange mare had the Sunday off, so she wasn’t wearing her armor. In fact, getting up early on the Sunday evening, as was typical of all those who worked the night shift, she saw no reason to put anything on at all. Still, before leaving her room in the barracks, she took a moment to admire her body in the mirror. She was a very lean mare, not curvy like how most stallions and mares liked, but she was still proud of her figure; although she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want a bigger plot. Her toned stomach and bulging triceps were a testament to her dedication to the guard’s standards of physical fitness. In fact, when she covered up her horn with her hand, she mused at how much she looked like a shorter earth pony rather than a unicorn. Even her blatant dismissal of even informal attire was reminiscent of earth ponies. After all, it’s not like she was planning anything that required formal attire; only meeting a friend at one of the local teahouses.
“You know,” Talon leaned in teasingly. “When do I get to meet your parents?”
“My parents?” Moonlight grimaced. “And why, pray tell, would I take you to see my parents?”
“I wanna see the look on your daddy’s face when he sees you bringing home a concubine,” Talon smirked.
Moonlight rolled her eyes. “If I understand your meaning, then I’m afraid you’d be sorely disappointed.” She emphasized by taking a calm sip of her tea.
“Oh?”
“If you expect father, or any of my mothers to be shocked that I have been associating with one of Celestia’s concubines, I’m afraid I’ve already told them.”
“Associating?” Talon pouted. “You make it sound so cold.”
Moonlight took another sip to hide her smile, but the griffon’s smirk told her she wasn’t fooling anypony. “Yes. We associate with one another on a fairly regular basis. Hence, we are associates.”
“Huh,” Talon scratched her chin. “Ya know, I don’t think anyone’s ever referred to me like that before.”
“Anyone?”
“Oh, shut up. I’m inclined to agree with the chimp on this one. Saying things like ‘anypony’ is just silly pony centric nonsense.”
“It’s not nonsense,” Moonlight defended calmly. “It’s part of our culture, going back thousands of years.”
“So are words like ‘thee’ and ‘thou’, but if Princess Moonbutt can put in the effort to adapt to the times, why can’t the rest of you ponies?”
“Does it really bother you so much?”
“Meh,” Talon shrugged. “Not really. Just seeing if I could get a rise out of ya.” She took a sip of her own tea, only to shudder. “Faust above! What the hay is this?”
Moonlight leaned in to examine the cup’s contents. “I believe you ordered Jasmine.”
Talon shifted her predatory gaze between Moonlight and the cup, as if uncertain which she believed less. Then she shrugged and took another, more generous sip, followed by a light chuckle. “Wow. Guess castle life is spoiling me. Either that or I still have Steel Hoof’s aftertaste.”
“Aftertaste?” Moonlight asked, only for her eyes to widen as the griffon’s meaning hit her. “Oh.”
“Oh? What’s the ‘oh’ for?”
“N-nothing,” Moonlight trailed off, focusing on the patterns on the napkins.
Talon set her cup on her own napkin and leaned in close, setting her elbows on the table to support her chin on her claws. “Never had one that big before?”
Moonlight flushed. “I, uh…”
“Ya know, I probably don’t need to say this, but for a minotaur, he’s got a thing for ponies. I’m certain he’d be willing to give ya a taste if ya asked really nicely.”
“That’s, um, nice of him, but… I…”
“It doesn’t hurt,” Talon interrupted with a much gentler tone. “I get it. I was worried the first time too, about how big he was. But bulls aren’t like regular stallions.” Her wings ruffled. “It’s kinda hard to explain, but,” she leaned in and whispered, “their dicks are actually pretty pliable. So if you’re worried about size…”
“Please stop!” Moonlight seethed from between clenched teeth, but still managed to keep her voice down so as not to alarm the other patrons. “And that’s not even the point.”
Talon rested her arms down on the table and looked seriously at the unicorn. “Sorry about that,” she reached out and took Moonlight’s hand. “But you know I didn’t mean anything by it, right?”
Moonlight gave a slow and deliberate nod. “Yes. I know.”
“If there’s something wrong, you can tell me.”
Moonlight only answered with a quick exhale.
Talon tightened her grip on the unicorn’s hand. “Promise I won’t tell or laugh.”
Moonlight looked up to meet the griffon’s sincere eyes. “Well… it’s just that… I’ve never really been with a… stallion before.” She flinched, waiting for Talon to do her worst.
The griffon only raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Never?”
Moonlight straightened up, but tightened her own grip around the griffon’s claw. “N-never. Only other mares.”
Talon nodded in consideration. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but exactly how old are you?”
“I turned twenty four a few months ago,” Moonlight answered meekly, knowing where this was going.
“That’s gotta be at least twenty two heats.”
“Actually, it’s only been twenty,” Moonlight offered, but the griffon’s deadpan glare told her it didn’t matter.
“How does a filly manage to go through twenty heats without a stallion? I mean, look at you,” Talon gestured to Moonlight’s body. “You’re freaking adorable. Stallions would trip over themselves to help a pretty little thing like you.”
“I…” Moonlight hesitated. “I don’t know. My friends said the same thing, but I guess I just never met a stallion I liked like that.”
Talon remained silent, but gestured for Moonlight to go on.
“I don’t think I’m bent. I, um, like romance novels,” she lowered her head as a slight smirk took her lips. “Especially those with more… erotic scenes.”
Talon gave a low snort. “I’m the last wren to judge a pony on their tastes in erotica.” She followed with a look demanding Moonlight go into further detail.
“Well, I, um, really like things between two or more stallions.”
“Can’t say I’ve ever met a mare who doesn’t,” Talon smirked, and they both shared a giggle. “But that still doesn’t explain how you managed so many heats without a stallion. I‘ve been around ponies long enough to know heat basically drives you mares crazy if you don’t get yourselves a healthy dose of stallion meat.”
“I managed,” Moonlight gave a half-smile. “And my friends were willing to help with, you know, cooling me off.”
Talon grimaced. “Even so, that sounds like it must have been a real pain.”
Moonlight gave a defeated sigh. “Like I said, I manage. Besides, lots of mares go through heat without stallions all the time. It’s not that bad.”
“I could help, ya know,” Talon offered with a soft smile. “And I’m not just saying that cause you’re a fine piece of flank, which you are and don’t ever let nobody tell you otherwise, got it?”
Moonlight blushed and turned away, but tightened her grip appreciatively around Talon’s claw.
“No friend of mine is gonna go through heat alone,” Talon smiled sincerely. “On your next heat week, you come straight to me, got it?”
“I… sure. I think that’d be alright,” Moonlight gave a relieved sigh.
Heat week. The infamous time that rolled around twice a year for each mare when she went crazy for, as Talon had so affectionately put it, stallion meat, was just a part of life. Mares helped mares in heat. It was just common sense and common courtesy. With how few stallions there were, it was inevitable that some mares would have to go without from time to time. They would take it in turns to use special strapons called coolers equipped with liquid dispensers at the end to, as their names implied, cool a mare’s heat. Every mare knew that it was nowhere near as good as having the real thing, but it was making the best out of a bad situation.
The simple necessity of coolers meant that their use was not considered a sexual act, but rather something that just had to be done. Two mares could use a cooler for days on end to satisfy their heat, only to return to their normal relationships without developing any romantic feelings for each other, although cooling was still considered personal enough so as to only be done between close friends. Obviously mares dating one another without a stallion would use coolers too, but those sessions usually involved a lot of kissing and intimate groping, which made it different. These were the sort of obvious cultural norms one learned just by growing up in the culture, meaning a certain non-pony was looking forward to a really awkward conversation, whether he knew it or not.
Talon gave a firm nod. “Then it’s a date.”
Moonlight rolled her eyes and finally took back her hand. “In the sense that we have agreed to meet on a specific date in time, then yes.”
Talon folded her arms over her chest and gave a huffing pout. “What? Am I not good enough for you? Not into wrens?”
Moonlight stared down at her tea cup and shook her head with a soft smile. “You’re too much sometimes. You know that right,” she answered mirthfully.
“Only sometimes? Guess I’ve been slacking lately.”
Moonlight chuckled as she resumed nursing her tea. “By the way, what ever happened with Blueblood?”
“You don’t know?” Talon cocked an eyebrow.
“I was standing just outside the room at the time.” Moonlight’s teacup shook in her grip. “The things he said about…” she breathed to calm herself. “If Swift Scabbard hadn’t held me back…”
“Go on,” Talon motioned encouragingly.
“If he hadn’t been there, I swear I’d have kicked blue balls in his blue balls so hard he’d never be able to sire a foal.”
Talon slapped her claw across her eyes, throwing her head high in the air as the room echoed with her bellowing laughter. Suddenly feeling the stares of the tea house's other patrons fall upon them, Moonlight tried her hardest to stifle her friend’s laughter without letting it infect her. It was a challenge. After about a minute, the griffon finally calmed down. “Good filly.”
“Good filly?” Moonlight repeated, taken aback.
“Yeah. You’re a filly, and you’re not half bad.” Talon took loud sip of her tea. “Protecting your stallion like that; it really makes a gal wonder how you managed to go without one for so long.”
A touch of pink tinted Moonlight’s cheeks. “He’s not… Sir Thomas is not my stallion.”
“You’re a mare and it’s your job to protect him, right? How does that not make him your stallion?”
“Th-that’s hardly accurate. I was assigned to guard him by the Princess. We’re friends, but anything more than that would be fraternization. Besides…” she trailed off. “He’s Luna’s stal-yaw!” She winced at the sudden pain on her cutie mark. The unicorn leaned under the table just in time to see the retreating griffon tail. “What was that for?”
Talon propped her head up on her fist as she smirked back at the unicorn. “Didn’t you already tell the story about your daddy, one of Leste’s concubines, and how he met with your mommy, an officer in the army?”
Moonlight flushed as she saw where this was going. “That’s not the same,” she breathed heavily. “And besides, you still never told me what happened with Blueblood.”
Talon let out a defeated sigh. She was no Celestia and her skill in matchmaking was one of the few things her lover didn’t rub off on her. A pity, too, because something deep down told her that Thomas and Moonlight would be so cute together. She could bring up exactly how many of Celstia’s concubines used to be her personal guards, or how many of her current guards now herding with her other concubines, but that would have to wait. Moonlight clearly needed more time to figure out her own feelings on the matter. Oh well. If it was meant to happen it would happen, just not tonight.
“Well,” Talon swirled her claw in her tea. “Since the little prick threatened me too, Leste thought it appropriate if I got to sit in and watch.”
Moonlight’s horn lit and levitated her chair around the table until she was beside Talon. The mare leaned in, inadvertently pressing her shoulder against her friend’s soft and warm fur. Talon reciprocated by affectionately pushing her own shoulder into the mare’s. Talon silently remarked on how nice the unicorn felt, and was looking forward to her next heat week, even if was quite a ways off.
“In fact, pretty much all of us were there,” Talon continued, pausing to create dramatic tension for her eager audience. “We were standing in a semi-circle around him, with Leste at the forefront. She was snapping a belt and that really got him squirming.” Talon tittered. “I don’t think this was the first time she had to use it either.”
Moonlight joined her friend’s quiet snickering.
“Oh, but I should probably stop,” Talon frowned as she pulled away. “I’m sure you don’t want to hear about…” she was cut off by a sudden yank of her neck feathers pulled her face to face with Moonlight.
“Don’t. You. Dare. Stop.”
“Not the first time I got a mare to say that,” Talon smirked. Her joke successfully dislodged her from the unicorn’s grip, but that didn’t stop her from glaring daggers at her. “Fine,” Talon gave an exaggerated sigh of defeat. “If you must know,” she leaned in closer as the pair huddled. “Leste… gave old blue balls… a stern talking to.”
There was a pregnant pause as Moonlight slowly turned to meet Talon’s eyes, her own expressing sheer disbelief. “She… what?”
“What?” Talon shrugged. “Did you honestly think Leste was going to do something seriously bad to her own nephew?”
“I, um…” a flushed Moonlight trailed off.
“Besides, you don’t know just how scary Celestia can get when she really wants to.”
“Scary?” Moonlight asked. It was such a strange word to associate with the beloved Princess of the Sun. Powerful. Maternal. Awe inspiring. Trusted. Even, dare she even think it, sexy. These were just some of the perfectly fine terms one was allowed to use when referring to Princess Celestia. But scary? No. that just wasn’t right.
“Yeah,” Talon nodded. “Like you can’t even imagine. A couple minutes in and Blueblood was actually starting to cry. I honestly couldn’t even bring myself to feel bad for the guy. Anyway, I’m pretty sure he won’t be bothering the chimp again any time soon.”
“Should you really be calling Sir Thomas a chimp,” Moonlight asked in concern. “It seems rather mean.”
Talon just stared back at Moonlight, not saying anything at first. “I’m sure you’ve noticed, by now, that the little guy has more than a few confidence issues.” The unicorn nodded in silent agreement. “Don’t know when you came on, but he’s practically a chatter box compared to how closed up he used to be.”
Moonlight gave a low hum. “I… had noticed. And I get that you’re trying to help him open up. I really do. It’s just I’m wondering if there might be a gentler way.”
“Oh? And what would you propose?” Talon asked.
“W-what?”
“You said there might be a better way to get him to open up. So now I’m asking what ways you’d like to try?”
“Try?”
“Well duh,” Talon scoffed. “That’s the whole point of our training; to get multiple mares to tell him how awesome he is until he finally starts to believe it. If you’ve got ideas, I’m open to them.”
Moonlight nodded, still a bit surprised at the griffon for letting her take the lead. It took her a moment to come up with something. “Well, if you’re really asking, then… do you remember what Lady Attentive said about him causing a scandal?”
“I wasn’t there for that part, but I think I got the gist of it,” Talon nodded along.
“I didn’t much care for the way she said that. It definitely was needlessly cruel, especially for such a sensitive stallion.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Talon agreed. “So, what’d you have in mind?”
“Well, you’ve pretty much taken charge of his newly acquired free time, so at first I was thinking maybe we could let him decide what to do on his next day off.”
“Sounds fair.”
“But then I realized I have no idea what he’d want to do. He’s never really asked to do anything,” Moonlight said solemnly. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but between you, Princess Luna, and even me, he pretty much spends all his time being led around by others.”
Talon gave an exasperated sigh. “So you noticed too? Then I guess it’s not just me.”
“Tali?” Moonlight inquired.
“I know I can be a little… overbearing sometimes,” Talon confessed after briefly smiling at the mention of her nickname. It was an appreciated sign of how much the unicorn trusted her. “He laughs along and is usually pretty mellow about stuff. But still, he’s really submissive even by stallion standards.”
“He’s not a stallion,” Moonlight reminded gently. It wasn’t anything defensive, but merely a statement of fact. “Maybe human stallions are even more submissive.”
“Or maybe it’s just the opposite,” Talon put forward grimly. “Maybe human males are the assertive ones and our little chimp is a… I guess exception would be the word.”
Moonlight nodded along, uncertain what she could add to that. Since Thomas was their only basis, pretty much all speculation was equally valid. The unicorn grimaced at the thought that there might be something wrong with her friend and that she had no idea how to help.
“Even if there was something, he’d probably deny it if we confronted him about it. For now, let’s go with your idea and let him decide what to do next.”
“Thank you,” Moonlight nodded appreciatively. “It’s probably a little rude for us to be talking about him like this, but whether or not there is a problem, we should probably show him that we’re here for him.”
Talon shook her head with an amused snort. “Not your stallion, huh? Cause you’re sure acting like his mare.”
“So chimp, wha’chya wanna do tonight?” Talon asked as she sat across from him at their usual table in chow hall.
Thomas shrugged as he swallowed his mouthful of pancake. He was wearing a comfortable set of his more casual clothes for his Monday off, though his uniform still made for decent underwear. If they were going out to the city, as expected, he’d be more comfortable not showing off his bare chest. “I thought you’d want to go into the city again. Got anywhere special in mind?”
“I’ve got a few ideas, but you’re kinda missing the point. I’m asking you what you want to do. Tonight you get to decide,” the griffon beamed.
“Indeed,” Moonlight added. “Tonight, you get to be the one to drag us around. Anything you want.”
“Anything?” Talon asked with a mischievous smirk as her eyebrows danced at the glaring mare.
Thomas stared intently down at his remaining pancakes before letting out a sigh. “Like I said, I never really did all that much back home. Frankly, you two dragging me around has been the most social activity I’ve had in years.”
“Come on, chimp. There had to have been something you liked to do.”
Thomas shrugged. “I guess I liked to walk.”
“Walk?”
“Yeah. Just walk around under the sun and just let my mind go wherever it wanted.”
“The public gardens,” Moonlight interjected eagerly. “There’s the maze and all those lovely sculptures. Plus not too many ponies go there during the night, so we shouldn’t be bothered by anypony.”
“If Moonlight’s up for a romantic stroll under the moonlight, then count me in,” Talon said, lightly banging her fist onto the table for emphasis.
The three quickly finished up their breakfast before heading down to the gardens.
“Hazy Lance. As depicted in his last stand against the diamond dog marauders. His brave sacrifice was critical in buying the Princess’ forces the time they needed to rally for a successful counter attack.” Thomas read the inscription out loud. There was more, but he skimmed down until he found the name of the artist. “Stained Marble. Neat.” He looked up to see an earth pony stallion clad in nothing but chainmail trousers as he wielded a spear with a curved blade, swinging it at three diamond dogs who wore rags and wielded rather misshapen swords.
“Gotta love the classics,” Talon commented as she admired the sculpture.
“Agreed,” Moonlight nodded with an awed grin. “Marble’s work is especially beautiful. Just look at those faces. It’s like they’re reaching out across time to try and burn each other with their glares. Especially Hazy Lance.”
“That’s not too far off,” Talon added. “The marauding tribes of old were a problem even for us griffons. Hazy Lance protected an awful lot of our villages. In fact, if I remember right, it was the griffon king’s request to attend his funeral to honor the mutually respected warrior that pretty much started positive relations between ponies and griffons.”
“Never took you for a scholar,” Moonlight commented.
“What can I say?” Talon shrugged. “Griffons get stiff wings for heroes, so we make sure our schools teach us about all of them. What about you, chimp?”
“I’ve always considered history like a story. Heroes and villains doing great things, though it all kinda depends on your perspective. What makes a story interesting, at least to me, is the realism. And it doesn’t get much more real than history… well, assuming the people who wrote it didn’t rewrite too much to push some sort of agenda.”
“Humans have that problem too?” Talon asked. “For a while our scholars had a bad habit of rewriting everything to make whatever current dynasty look perfect while dragging all the old ones through the mud. It’s been hard getting away from that and even now we still have some work to do, but at least heroes remain intact.”
Thomas gazed down at the inscription before looking back up. “Sort of reminds me of the Alamo. The state of Texas was fighting for its independence from Mexico. A tiny garrison of soldiers managed to keep the Mexican army distracted long enough for pretty much what happened after this,” he gestured to the statue. “But I guess heroism like this always ends up as the focal point in war stories.”
Having nothing further to say, the trio moved on in search of the next thing to catch their interest. The night was quiet and the gardens were all but deserted save for the occasional gardener. It was peaceful, if a bit spooky. The light from the moon wasn’t as bright as usual and the lamps cast rather unsettling shadows against the statues. However, Talon was walking a lot closer to him than usual and the regular brushes of her arm against his were reassuring.
**********
Meanwhile, in Luna’s office, the Princess of the Night was delivering some bad news.
“I’m sorry, but it has simply not been working out,” Luna explained as calmly and sympathetically as she could.
“What the hay does that mean?” Midnight Chain shouted.
Lunar Stone was torn between tending to the whimpering Starry Sky and holding back a very irate Midnight Chain. “Now calm down, sweetie.”
“Celestia herself chose us and we did everything you asked, even putting on those silly swimsuits just to keep the human happy.”
“The human?” Luna repeated, ear twitching irritably as she stared unamused at the unicorn.
“That’s right,” Midnight Chain sneered. “It was bad enough when you gave that puny foreigner the honored position of Senior Concubine, something that should have been mine, but I kept my mouth shut. But if I’m getting sacked anyway, then I might as well hrmph…” the unicorn was cut off by a zipper magically appearing on her lips and sealing her mouth shut.
“No. I do not think you should,” Luna sighed disappointedly. “Lunar Stone. Starry Sky. If you choose, you will be allowed to seek alternative employment here at the castle. I shall offer you both favorable references for your professionalism. However, Midnight Chain…” she paused to glare at the unicorn. “It saddens me to hear that you held such feelings for dearest Thomas. For your outburst, I am afraid you shall not be allowed back into the crowns’ employ.”
Midnight Chains expression changed from anger to shock, and then gradually melted into sorry. She finally managed to undo her zipper. “I… I’m sorry.”
“Your apology is noted,” Luna nodded. The Princess dismissed her former attendants and let out a sigh of relief when the doors closed behind them. “I suppose that could have gone better.”
“Could have been worse, too,” Attentive Eye added from her desk. “Figured this would happen, though.”
“Did you now?”
“Read up on how new concubines are usually inducted, and these three were substandard at best.” Attentive Eye paused, but the look Luna gave her suggested she go on. “They made no move on Sir Thomas apart from banter which, if I’m honest, always sounded a little forced. Even though his title technically means his say on new concubines is just as important as yours. It’s like courting a herd, but none of them even bothered. I suppose now we know why.”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded solemnly. “Tis sad to say, but it seems far too many are far from accepting of dearest Thomas. Lady Moonlight’s assignment as his bodyguard seems less and less superfluous by the day.”
Attentive Eye eyed Luna intently. “He’s protected,” she assured. “Everypony knows he belongs to you. While they might be less than warm, I don’t imagine any would be stupid enough to actually try anything that might incur the wrath of the moon.”
Luna chuckled. “We can only hope.”
**********
“What do we have here?” Talon asked in intrigue as another statue caught her eye. “That’s a hay of thing.”
“He seems… happy?” Moonlight’s face scrunched up at the towering work of stone. “What… what even is it?”
There it was. One of the most powerful monsters in all Equestria, a thing that not even the Princesses could defeat on their own. He had the same mismatched parts and slender body as he did on the show, though his chest was a bit broader. He was also anatomically correct, with his cock thankfully pulled back into its sheath; though it still looked rather weird, especially when Thomas loathingly noticed the left testicle was significantly larger than the right. The statue stood at his full height, mouth open as if he were rejoicing and arm outstretched to make sure all could see just how happy he was.
“Discord,” Thomas said under his breath.
“Oh yeah,” Talon snapped her claws. “The bastard of chaos.” She leaned in to examine the statue more carefully, specifically what was beneath the belt. “Can’t really see, but I hear the freak had both sets of genitals naturally.”
“There’s no way a thing like that can be called natural,” Moonlight shook her head in disgust. “They say he’s a draconequus, a dragon horse. The idea that they felt the need to give such a thing a name like that is especially unsettling. It’s a species name, implying that there might be more.” She shuddered.
“Nah,” Talon dismissed as she pulled back from her failed exploration. “Think some pony just wanted to give ‘em a name like that to make him less scary. But I gotta say, just looking at ‘em, I can’t rightly see why. He’s not exactly nice to look at, but exactly something a foal would fear coming out of their closet.”
“Th-think we can move on?” Thomas asked, unable to hide the worry in his voice as his friends looked at him with concern. Thomas had been staring at the statue, or rather the petrified form of Discord in complete silence as his mind raced. Discord was, is, alive. Even before he told them, the Princesses had always suspected his imprisonment would be temporary. However, they had assured him that they had already taken appropriate precautions. Smashing the statue and scattering its remains only increased the risk of encountering the last bit of chaotic energy he needed to break free. Even sealing him up in a vault would, at best, only delay his resurrection. Celestia and Luna had both promised that the best solution would be to let things happen as destiny intended and allow Discord awaken just long enough to be defeated by the Elements. The human was uncomfortable with such a lax plan from the normally proactive alicorns, but, having no better alternatives, he deferred to their judgment.
“Sure,” Talon bumped his shoulder in the direction of the rout they’d been taking just a moment ago. They walked in silence for a couple minutes until the statue was out of sight. “So, chimp. Where’d your mind usually go during your old walks?”
The change of subject was less than subtle, but still appreciated. “Mostly ideas I had for stories, I guess.”
“Stories?” Moonlight asked, ears perking to attention. “You were a writer?”
“It was just a hobby.”
“Don’t matter,” Talon leaned in close. “What’d ya write about?”
“Adventure stuff, mostly, but I tried dabbling in a bit of romance too. Mostly I took inspiration from some of the stuff I read.”
“Ya don’t say,” Talon nodded along. “Smarty-corn here like’s to read that sort of stuff. Maybe you two can do some bookworm bonding or something?”
Moonlight glared at Talon, but she turned down to Thomas with a small smile. “I, uh, have quite the collection. If you’re looking for some local inspiration, I could recommend a few things. Maybe you could get back into your, erm, hobby. I’d love to see some of your work.”
Thomas blushed. His first instinct was to say that his writing was nothing special, but something told him all that would do is earn him a lecture and a smack. “Couldn’t hurt.”
Deciding there was nothing left in the garden worth seeing anyway, they departed for the barracks and found Moonlight’s room. Instead of the barren walls Thomas had expected for a soldier, the walls were hidden by shelves filled with books.
“Damn, filly,” Talon awed as she approached on of the shelves. “Ya know, Leste’s not gonna be happy if she finds out you raided her library like this.”
Moonlight rolled her eyes. “Here,” she pulled out a book and shoved it into the griffon’s chest. “If you must, consider it a bribe to keep your big beak shut.”
Talon held out the book and her eyes bulged as she read the title. “Seven Stallions? No way! I’ve been looking for a copy of this forever. And first edition too.” She looked up at Moonlight. “How?”
The unicorn set her helmet down on her dresser and smiled playfully over at the griffon. “Oh, a mare has her ways,” she tittered. Truth was it was just a birthday present from her mom. It might have just been a gag gift, but it was her first introduction to erotica, this copy specifically. “Just make sure you give it back in one piece.”
Talon straightened to attention and saluted proudly. “Aye aye, sir!”
Shaking her head, Moonlight motioned for Talon and Thomas to take a seat on her bed. Thomas’s butt was barely on the sheets for a second before Talon wrapped her arm around him and pulled him against her chest. He looked up to see the griffon focusing intently on Moonlight as she explored her book shelves. Her grip was tight, but he didn’t struggle, only shifting enough to get comfortable. The human was loath to admit it, but he actually liked when these big girls held him like this. There was a sense of security in their strength and warm bodies.
“Ah hah!” Moonlight exclaimed as she pulled her target from its shelf and turned around. She paused to stare as the griffon held the human, the latter doing nothing to resist. It was sweet. The mare had to stop herself from dawing as she shook her head to keep her mind from wandering. “I was thinking,” she held out the book, “maybe you and I could write something, you know, together?”
Thomas took the book from Moonlight’s hands. The cover was blank and inside was rather sloppy handwriting rather than printed text. “You wrote this?”
Moonlight was nodding so enthusiastically that, if she were still wearing her helmet, it’d fall off. She looked at him expectantly.
Thomas scanned a few lines and instantly his critical side took hold as he spotted several errors. However, he refocused his attention to what was written rather than how. It was about an earth pony stallion named Gold Chaser looking for gold in a newly established prospector town. Thomas turned the page and found several notes written off to the sides of the pages. From them he gleamed that Moonlight had gone through much debate with herself over exactly where to place the first meeting with the love interest, Sure Prospects. “Romance?” he asked.
Moonlight blushed and looked away. “Not… exactly.”
Talon whispered in a hushed tone loud enough for all to hear. “Filly’s got a thing for the naughty stuff.”
Moonlight bared her teeth at the griffon, horn sparking to indicate her barely restrained anger. But to her surprise, Thomas gave no reaction. He just kept reading. Well, skimming by how quickly he was flipping through the pages, but he definitely seemed to linger on each one long enough to take the story in.
Several minutes passed in silence. Talon tried reading over Thomas’ shoulder, but he was going too fast for her liking. Moonlight, more than once, had to remind herself to breathe with how nervous she was. She’d never shown her writing to anypony outside her family, not even her past filly friends. Even then, what she had shared was tame compared to what Thomas was currently holding. It was her first real work, a book she’d been working on and off for years. As Thomas continued to read, she silently scolded herself for showing him something so personal. Was she trying to get him to open up to her by opening up first? Would he even get that if she didn’t say so outright? Probably not. Stupid mare. She looked at the turned pages and calculated that he was just about to the first sex scene. Sweet Celestia, he was going to think she was such a freak for writing this.
“I like the detail,” Thomas said casually into the book. “Really captures the realism. Even that part where you describe the rock after he wakes up with a hangover.”
“You…” Moonlight gulped. “You like it? H-have you gotten to the tent scene yet?”
“Skimmed it,” Thomas confessed, never taking his scrutinizing eyes off the pages. “Kinda felt a little rushed for the first time, though. Maybe you should have them drink a little first?”
“D-drink?”
“Yeah. They start drinking, lower their inhibitions, and then you have them cozy up.”
Moonlight’s mouth was agape. “I… I didn’t feel the tent scene was too rushed, but now that you mention it, throwing alcohol into the mix does make it feel a bit more natural.” Her lips slowly pulled into a smile. “They actually do a lot of drinking, come to think of it. Maybe I can make a running theme out of that or something.”
“Hold on,” Talon stopped them both and turned the pages back till she found what they were talking about. “Huh. Ya know, I think the chimp may be on to something.”
“Your grammar and spelling could use some work though,” Thomas added hesitantly.
“Oh, I know,” Moonlight agreed nonchalantly. “This is all first draft material. I can refine that stuff later.”
“Mind if I make a few marks?” Thomas asked.
“Certainly.” Moonlight’s horn lit and a pencil levitated over to Thomas.
The three idly conversed as Thomas went to work on what had been written, correcting misspellings and making suggestions for grammar issues. When lunch rolled around, they left the book behind and went back to chow hall, continuing to discuss the book and what Moonlight’s plans were for the future. There was some measure of humor to be found in just how seriously they discussed some of the raunchier scenes. While Talon would occasionally interject with her own opinion, mostly it was Thomas and Moonlight who discussed the mechanics of what they were doing. On their way back, Talon couldn’t help but notice how often the unicorn was bumping into the human, specifically, how her hip was trying to bump his. The unicorn’s contented face suggested she hadn’t noticed, and Thomas certainly wasn’t going to speak up, but Talon knew. Moonlight was acting subconsciously, and if Thomas had been a pony, they’d be walking with their cutie marks pressed together. The intent, even if not conscious, could not have been more obvious and Talon was grateful no one else seemed to notice.
Tuesday had come around and Thomas now found himself in, of all places, Talon’s room.
“Oh hey there, um,” Thomas snapped his fingers in an attempt to remember her name. She was a Pegasus mare with dark blue fur and a long aqua mane with a red stripe. The fur on her muzzle had an odd peach coloring that made it look like she’d just dipped her face in paint. Her frame was similar to Rainbow Dash’s with a muscular body and smallish breasts, although she was definitely a lot older. Upon her flank was a cloud with wind lines and snowflakes. Not only was Thomas frustrated at his inability to remember a name he knew he knew, but the loincloth emblazoned with Celestia’s cutie mark made him feel like he’d failed an obligation for forgetting her.
“Misty Breeze,” the mare finally answered with a gentle smile. “But you can call me Misty.”
“Ugh,” Thomas groaned. “Sorry. I’ve always been terrible with names.”
“Don’t get too worked up about it,” Misty assured. “We haven’t seen each other that much, so it’s alright if you don’t remember me.”
“Alright, Mist,” Talon nodded. “You remember what we talked about?”
“There was talking?” Misty tilted her head. “Last thing I remember was peacefully reading in my bed and then this horny bird-lion pounced on me without warning.”
Talon rolled her eyes. “Well it’s not like you said no.”
Misty snorted. “You barely let me put the book mark in before you started… biting,” she blushed. “Anyway, yes I do remember you saying a little something about training Luna’s… what was it you’re called? Hamen?”
“Human,” Thomas corrected.
“So, chimp. This here is Mist,” Talon gestured to the Pegasus. “She’s actually my roommate and she’s going to help with tonight’s lesson.”
“Roommate?” Moonlight inquired as she glanced between Talon and Misty. “How do you manage to get any sleep with that,” she gestured to Talon, “around?”
“Meh,” Misty shrugged. “She’s not so bad, except for when she brings dates over without giving me fair warning,” she leered.
“You’re never gonna let that go, are ya?” Talon shook her head in disappointment.
“Maybe I would if you could manage to go more than a month without doing it,” Misty raised her voice irately. “Sorry,” she said to Thomas more than Talon. “We are professional members of the royal harems. A measure of composure and professionalism is expected of us.”
Talon grinned, ready to kill the mood with some vulgar suggestion, only for Misty to grab her beak and close it shut. Mist smirked smugly as the griffon groaned in disappointment.
“Thomas,” Misty began.
“Yes?”
The Pegasus glanced over at Moonlight and smiled. “Moonlight Shield?”
The orange unicorn nodded with a slight grin. “Aunt Misty.”
Without warning the Pegasus threw herself at the unicorn in a tight embrace. “It’s been years,” Misty cheered before pulling back, examining the guard more closely. “You’ve gotten so big. And a member of Luna’s house guard to boot. I’m so proud of you.”
Seeing Thomas’ confusion, Moonlight realized an explanation was in order. “Mist Breeze was a member of Celestia’s harem at the same time my father was. She used to come over all the time and was even our foalsitter.”
“You were just so cute back then,” Misty cooed. “And now look at you. Such a fine young mare. How are your folks these days?”
“Ahem,” Talon coughed.
“Right,” Misty pulled back. “We can catch up later. For now, follow me.”
The group followed the blue pegasus down the halls into Celestia’s wing of the castle. The light reflecting off the sun banners almost made it seem as though it were day outside. Finally they arrived at their destination and Misty pushed the door open. The room was about a quarter the size of Luna’s bed chamber, but that still left it pretty big. The layout was almost the same with the closet in the far corner, an open door leading to a bathroom beside it, along with the arrangement of the furniture. Thomas figured the bed was the pony equivalent of king sized. The only other things of note were the posters on the walls depicting what appeared to be bands, sports teams, and one that looked like a movie poster.
“I thought you said you lived in the servant’s quarters,” Thomas said in disbelief.
“Did I?” Talon asked mischievously. “Well, technically we are servants, and these are our quarters, so that makes them servant’s quarters.”
Misty rolled her eyes. “Concubines get our pick of any of the spare bedrooms,” she explained as she walked in and began searching in the drawers for something. “This is one of the smaller ones, but it’s more than enough to suit our needs.”
Thomas cautiously stepped inside, taking in the smell of the strange domicile. “Why would anyone, er, anypony live in an apartment if this is what passes for small?”
“Some ponies like to keep family life and work life separate,” Talon explained as she swaggered past him and sat on the bed.
“Since you’re the Senior Concubine,” Misty cut in as she pulled out a number of towels. “I imagine you’ll be getting a room twice as big, just like Sun Dancer.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Thomas said as he took a second look around the room. It was large, but not oppressively so and definitely had the feeling of being lived in. Even Luna’s much larger room had enough stuff in it to make it feel homely. “I don’t think I have enough to fill a place like that.”
“He’s got a point, there,” Talon grimaced. “He never leaves the castle unless somepony drags him out, and then he doesn’t really buy anything. I think you could fit all the chimp’s possessions in a moderately sized box.”
“There’s just not anything I really want,” Thomas sighed as he watched Misty set the towels and a few cushions out on the floor. “And what are you doing, anyway?”
“Oh,” Misty looked up from her kneeling position. “Well, Talon says you’ve been making decent progress with the kissing part of your training, so I thought it was time we moved on to more advanced techniques.” She beckoned Talon forward and the griffon laid out belly down on the towels, propping herself up on the cushions as her lion tail batted from side to side. “Tonight, you will be learning how to preen.”
“P-preen?” Thomas stuttered. “As in cleaning wings?”
“Preening is more than mere cleaning,” Misty chuckled as she grabbed Talon’s left wing and opened it out. “It’s a matter of social bonding for the winged races. Our wings are incredibly sensitive extremities and we would only ever entrust their care to those we trust completely,” Misty explained as she gently glided her hand across the griffon’s feathers, causing Talon to let out a small whimper.
“It’s also a courtship thing,” Talon added breathlessly. “Giving your partner a good AH!” she gasped as Misty did something to her wing. “A good wing job is a great way to show how much you ca-ha-hare.”
Thomas gulped. He looked to Moonlight to rescue him, but the poor guard was blushing too hard to even move as she watched Talon squirm under Misty’s expert touch.
“This is more of a harem thing,” Misty offered to Moonlight. “Also, you don’t even have any wings. If you’re not comfortable…”
“I’ll stand guard outside,” Moonlight blurted a lot louder than necessary before briskly walking outside. “None shall disturb you.” And she slammed the door shut.
“She’s pretty cute when she’s flustered like that,” Talon snickered, only to let out another muted cry.
“Is there such a thing as a mare or stallion you don’t think is cute when they’re flustered?” Misty asked.
“Suppose anything’s possible,” Talon grinned. “But enough of that. Yo chimp! Get your flank over here and watch the master at work.”
Thomas’ legs moved him forward and knelt down in the mirror position of Misty.
“There’s a good colt,” the pegasus smirked. “Before we begin, there’s something you, being wingless, should probably know. The wings of a griffon, Pegasus, or even alicorn are extremely sensitive. They have to be in order to feel changes in the wind that allows us to fly through the air. It’s because of this sensitivity that basically makes wings an erogenous zone. Understand so far?”
Thomas nodded absentmindedly. The explanation made sense, but he feared there was some subtext in her tone that he might have missed.
“The first thing you want to do is open the wing as I did.” She closed Talon’s wing against her back before slowly opening it up again. “Now you try.”
Thomas mirrored the action, taking the stem of Talon’s wing in hand. He felt the appendage flinch in his grasp. When she gave no protest, he carefully opened it out in front of him and allowed it to rest over his lap. The stem was a dark crimson, like the rest of her fur, but the feathers of her wing were a much lighter shade of red. There was nothing especially erotic about it, but he stared in utter fascination all the same as Misty’s lecture lingered in his mind. One of her most sensitive parts… something she’d only give to someone she really trusted…
“Good,” Misty nodded. “Keep in mind that opening your wing for somepony is,” Misty considered, “is almost like lifting your tail. We’re trusting our partner with something very precious to us. Right now, you’re not just holding a part of her body,” Misty emphasized by fiddling with one of Talon’s feathers, rolling it around between her fingers as the griffon struggled to stifle a moan, until she finally plucked it. “You’re holding her Faust given right to the sky.”
“Q-quit with the heavy stuff,” Talon gasped irately. “Chimp’s got enough trouble with stuff like this to begin with. That’s why we’re bucking training.”
“Right,” Misty nodded. “Sorry. Anyway, since you’re closer to the base anyway, start with the feathers closest the base and work your way out. Gently rub your hand across the feathers as I do.”
Thomas did as instructed, watching Talon’s back muscles tense at his touch as he brushed his hand down the feathers in a petting motion.
“There!” Talon called, startling Thomas. “You found a loose one.”
When no further explanation came, Thomas brushed his hand over the same spot until he felt a feather that didn’t seem to bend under his touch the right way. Gently he prodded the area with his fingers until he found his target.
“Right there,” Talon gasped, anxiously wiggling her toned rump as, unseen to her companions, the towel beneath her waist began to moisten.
“Gently now,” Misty warned.
Thomas nodded and carefully grasped the feather between his fingers and gently wiggled it from side to side. Talon’s gasps of pleasure as he commanded the feather made him feel very hot under the collar, if he had one. She was helpless. The loud and proud griffon who could probably take him down with both arms tied behind her back was completely at his mercy. God, this is hot. Eventually he ended her torment by gently plucking the feather, which gave a soft yet satisfying *pop* as it left its home, causing Talon to bury her face in a pillow to muffle her moan.
“Not bad,” Misty nodded approvingly. “For an amateur.”
“Amature my mother’s flank,” Talon snarled. “Chimp’s got the fingers of a pro. He could give you a run for your money.”
“Is that so?” Misty asked cheekily before giving Thomas a challenging look. “First to reach the end, wins,” she smirked.
Several minutes passed and Thomas felt he was really getting the hang of this. He had already memorized the texture of how Talon’s wing feathers were supposed to feel and it wasn’t long before he was able to spot imperfections before even touching them. It filled him with quiet satisfaction each time he heard the little *pop*. His OCD’s demand for order and perfection rejoiced each time he removed the thing that demanded to be removed. And to top it all off, Talon’s squirms and moans of frustrated pleasure was causing him to be almost as anxious. He was so engrossed in his task that he hadn’t even noticed that his adversary was only half way through her wing while he was nearing the end.
“Good effort, little colt,” Misty taunted, bringing Thomas back to reality. “I said the first to reach the end, but I didn’t say which end.” Still kneeling in place, her blue wing opened up and stretched out past Talon’s twitching tail towards her backside. There, the feathers bent downwards and disappeared into the griffon’s loincloth.
“Mmmmmmmgrraaaah!” Talon cried out as her claws ripped the pillow she’d been burying her face in in half, sending a light gust of pillow stuffing into the air. Her wing inadvertently flapped, knocking Thomas over as she panted and drooled into the pile of cushions. When Thomas pulled himself up, he saw a wet stain growing in the towels around her pelvis.
“Victory,” Misty whispered proudly as she folded her arms. “Who’s the pro now, huh?”
Thomas stared at the scene before him as his mind raced to process what he’d done. I just gave Talon an orgasm, but Mist was the one who delivered the final blow. We brought her to orgasm together. Would that technically make this a threesome? Was this my first threesome?
*Thump-thump*
Thomas was shaken from his thoughts as he shot up. While initially startled, the griffon and Pegasus soon grinned as they recognized the look in his eye. They knew he’d been summoned and they knew the tent in his loincloth could not have been more appreciative.
“Go get ‘er chimp!” Talon exhaustedly lifted her arm and gave an encouraging fist pump.
Thomas didn’t seem to hear her as he bolted out of the room. He also didn’t notice that in flinging the door open, he’d knocked over a certain snooping guard who raced after him as he ran down the hall towards the night court.
“Feels good to help, don’t it?” Misty sighed contentedly.
“You have no idea,” Talon groaned as she buried her face into another pillow.
“Was he really that good?” Misty asked as she climbed on top of Talon, resting her elbows on her friend’s shoulders.
Talon panted as she turned her head up. “We might have to ask Luna if he can stable with us sometime.”
Luna had called for an extended recess Wednesday and decided to take her break in her room. As she lay out across her bed on her belly, Luna could not help but squirm in ecstasy as Thomas, naked, applied the previous day’s lessons to her wings. He’d started at the tips and had worked his way down, small piles of dark blue feathers to either side serving as markers for his progress. Now all that was left was for him to massage the base of her wings. Thomas slung a leg over Luna’s lower back and sat above her tail. He paused to take in the vast expanse of her back, feeling her powerful body rise and fall with her breathing as he fought the urge to hump her warm bare back with his exposed cock.
“Thomas?” Luna asked as she pulled her head from her pillow.
“S-sorry,” Thomas stuttered as he reached out and traced around where the rough bases of her wings met her much smoother back. When Luna slammed her face back into the pillow to stifle her moan, Thomas knew he was on the right track. His cock was beginning to harden as she squirmed in his grasp.
“Thy touch is… most exquisite,” Luna heaved.
“Thy?” Thomas taunted as he began increasing the pressure of his touch.
“Shut up. We feel far too good right now to care about pronunciation.”
“I noticed,” Thomas nodded, applying the whole of his hands to the massive bases. “I’m glad these lessons are working out for you.”
“And not thou?” Luna grunted. “Art thou not enjoying these lessons as well?”
“Tali’s been running me ragged these last few days. Once she’s done embarrassing me by making me… do things with mares, she spends the next few hours drilling all these exercises.”
“Perhaps we should *ngh* ask her to go a bit easier,” Luna grunted. “Thou hath been returning to us quite exhausted as of late.”
Thomas leaned in and whispered into the alicorn’s ear. “But I thought you were enjoying it,” he emphasized by following with a quick twist around her wings, causing Luna’s entire body to go stiff before she relaxed back into the sheets.
“P-perhaps.”
“Ya know, it’s kinda fun being the one on top for a change.”
“Of what dost thou speak? Thou… you mount us from on top quite often. That’s why it’s called mounting. It is the traditional position for a stallion to take his mare from above.”
“Yeah,” Thomas trailed off. “But even then it feels like you’re always in control.”
Luna hesitated. “Does this displease you?”
“No. Not at all,” Thomas said casually. “I kinda like it. You’re the one with experience here, so it’s nice to have you, ya know, take the lead. I’m just saying that it’s nice to change things up sometimes.”
“Indeed,” Luna purred, surprising Thomas by causing her entire body to vibrate beneath him. “Tis only natural for a Princess to take charge, even in the bedroom. However, to be on the receiving end of a lover’s instruction, to have our body teased and guided by the will of another, commanded to pleasure by those we trust, tis indeed a welcome change of pace. Why? Would thou wish to be the stallion for a change?” she grinned, bouncing her eyebrows.
Thomas rolled his eyes. “Maybe after a few more lessons. Turns out there are a bunch of sensitive parts on an alicorn’s body I didn’t even know about. I don’t think I can rightfully take charge until I figure out how to please all of you at once.”
“You can’t,” Luna said flatly, mildly disappointed at her failure to fluster him and how mature he was sounding.
“What?” Thomas hesitated before continuing in his motions.
“Thou art small,” Luna hummed. “Even if thou were a normal stallion and we a normal mare, thou would be unable to reach all of our erogenous zones at once. Even a fellow alicorn would find this task challenging. That is why ponies have herds and why a harem consists of multiple concubines.”
Thomas gritted his teeth as Luna’s words dug deep. I can barely even kiss her on the lips when we’re doing missionary. Thomas thought. My arms are too short and even my penis is pathetic compared to all the stallions I’ve seen, which is unfortunately a lot. He must have gone lax in the rubbing of her wings because she craned her neck back so she could meet his eye.
“Do not doubt thyself, dearest Thomas.” Luna spoke with a deep, rich, and assuring voice. “Thy reach might be limited, but it is thy intent that is pure and most appreciated. To thine eyes, we are not the all-powerful and unreachable Princess, but a pony, a mare like any other. You see us for who we really are, and it is this sight which makes thy touch so *ngh* satisfying. A petty noble, even one as large as an alicorn, would never be able to please us as much as one who cares for us like you do.”
As much as I… did she really just say that? Thomas blinked. I… I care for her, and she knows it. She knows it and doesn’t mind that I’m letting my feelings get in the way of the job? Is that what’s even happening. I just… Thomas’ thoughts were cut short when Luna craned her head back to face him with want in her eyes. They stared at each other a long while before Thomas leaned in and planted a kiss on Luna’s lips. It wasn’t a long, erotic kiss, but a quick peck to show his appreciation. Just as he pulled back, Luna extended her tongue and licked from his chin to his nose, eliciting a surprised squeak from the human.
“Besides,” Luna smiled as she turned over in bed, causing Thomas to slide off to her side. She sat up and pulled Thomas into her lap, holding him against her breasts while she glared down at him with a powerful longing in her eyes. “None can compare to your taste.”
Thomas shuddered in Luna’s grasp, her words sending chills down his spine. He was powerless before her, unable to turn away from Luna’s hypnotic and predatory stare. The mere idea of being at the mercy of the large, powerful alicorn excited him and caused his member to stand at full attention. He closed his eyes and leaned up, ready for whatever came next. If she wanted to gobble him up, he would not have minded.
Thomas felt the familiar grip of Luna’s magic encompass his body as the ground left him behind. When he regained his bearings, Thomas felt his pelvis suddenly jerk forward towards Luna’s face as his cock unceremoniously disappeared between her lips. He groaned as she suckled his member, teasing its girth with gentle swipes of her wet tongue and warm saliva. As his legs futilely kicked about, he reached out and grabbed her head. Luna grinned around his cock, which Thomas took as permission to continue while she cupped his buttocks in her hands as one would while drinking from a large bowl.
Nodding, Thomas reached out and gently massaged behind Luna’s left ear, making sure to be mindful of her imposing horn. She moaned in delight, causing her mouth to vibrate around his cock, which in turn caused him to moan. Looking down at the lewd expression on Luna’s face as she lustfully devoured his cock, Thomas set his knees on the Princess’ shoulders. While her magic continued to hold him in place, he still felt more secure having something beneath him other than empty air. Luna’s hands did little more than gently grope his rear, taking delight in the texture of his bare skin.
Luna’s tongue must have had multiple muscles within it with how each half inch contorted around his length, massaging is just as expertly as the walls of her pussy. While the back of her tongue tended what was inside her mouth, the front shot outward and lapped at his sack. She moaned appreciatively at the new flavor on her taste buds as she adventurously probed him, experimenting with different levels of pressure to each of his balls before taking them fully into her voracious maw. Thomas’ hips tried to thrust and hump her mouth, but Luna’s magic held him in place while she licked and suckled at her own pace. She grinned further when she realized the pulsing she felt in his cock was actually her lover’s heartbeat.
Thomas lurched forward at the new sensation, careful to avoid the sharp horn directly in front of him as he climaxed into Luna’s waiting maw. She moaned as she maneuvered every drop of his cum to the back of her throat where she swallowed eagerly. He took a moment to catch his breath while Luna’s tongue never ceased in its efforts to entice his still hard cock. The arousing sounds of her gulping down his seed certainly didn’t hurt his recovery. Once he pulled himself back up, his eyes lingered on the shape of Luna’s horn for some time. It was twice as long as the average unicorn’s and the way it came to a sharp point at the end made it look quite threatening. While he continued to rub her left ear, his right hand reached out and clasped the middle of the horn.
Luna tossed her head back, her magic flinging Thomas about as it held him directly in front of her. “Homash (Thomas),” she moaned with her mouth full of cock and balls. “Mmmoh (more).”
“Tali said that unicorn horns were really sensitive,” Thomas explained breathlessly as he gripped the base of her horn, twisting his hand around while he gently caressed it with his thumb. “Moonlight wouldn’t let her do this after the first time, so she called in a couple other unicorns this morning.”
Luna answered with a long groan as Thomas’ touch sent jolts of electricity down her spine. She wanted to be attentive while he spoke to her, but it had been ages since anypony had touched her horn like this. She tried to take more of Thomas’ groin into her mouth, pressing her hands even more firmly on his rear, but the length of her muzzle meant that the tip of his cock couldn’t quite reach the back of her throat. Still, as she tasted his pre cum begin to leak she swallowed anyway out of reflex.
“Tali said it feels good when I do this,” Thomas added as he began tracing his finger along the groove that spiraled around the horn, eliciting another anxious groan from the alicorn. “Guess she was right,” Thomas teased as he continued tracing the tip of his finger, trying to focus on the task at hand and not the amazing sensation of Luna’s mouth around his crotch. He spiraled upwards until he reached the last half inch of the horn and stopped.
Luna voiced her frustration as best she could and dug her fingers into Thomas’ butt cheeks.
“Want more?” Thomas asked with a grin. “Tali said that the tip of the horn was the most sensitive,” he explained as he ever so carefully tapped his finger against the horn’s sharp point. “Something about the magical nervous system having the greatest concentration around this area,” he pinched the end of the horn, causing Luna to shake further. Feeling his left butt cheek suddenly become cold, Thomas leaned over just a bit to see that Luna’s hand had disappeared between her legs while her elbow pumped furiously.
“Like that, huh?” Thomas smiled as he ground the tip of Luna’s horn between his fingers, experimenting with how each touch elicited a different kind of moan from the alicorn. “Ya know, Tali said there was something else, something you could do to a horn that felt really good,” he teased as he leaned in closer.
Still suckling, Luna watched the approaching human with hawk-like eyes, especially his lips as they puckered ever so slightly. He met her gaze and smacked his lips with a tantalizing *pop*. As his hot breath pelted down over her appendage, it took all of Luna’s strength to hold herself back from using her earth pony might to fully push Thomas’ pelvis into her eager maw. The thought of what he was about to do, combined with how splendid he tasted was driving her wild. She wanted him so badly, but knew she couldn’t take him like that, not yet.
For the briefest moment her mind cleared enough to fantasize about the future when her harem finally grew. Each of her concubines would be attending her erogenous zones. Earth pony stallions penetrating her from the front and from behind; mares on either side licking her cutie marks like they were coated in honey, which they probably would be, while they pleasured themselves; her breasts attended by both the front and back stallions while the front one gently bit her nipple between suckles; a pair of pegasi attending each wing as only winged creatures knew how; a unicorn at her horn doing what Thomas was about to, only with magic to entangle with her own as their bodies radiated with ethereal ecstasy; maybe a couple more rutting at her hooves for her to watch, male and female or both of one would make no difference as it would be hot either way; declarations of love and passion all around as they all lost themselves in the moment; and the last filling her up in ways only an alicorn could enjoy.
A swift jab from the human’s soft wet tongue caused Luna’s thoughts to die in a haze of pleasure and surprise. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she felt her horn release the tiniest magical burst.
Thomas quickly retracted his tongue. He smacked it around the inside of his mouth, attempting to taste the odd tingling sensation on the tip. There had been a shock, but it didn’t hurt like a static jolt. He strained his mind in an attempt to describe it. The best he could come up with was the tingly sensation of magic against his flesh, only significantly more intense. The more he thought about it, the more he felt invigorated to go on, like someone was giving him the most effective pep talk of his life, like an audience was applauding and cheering him on. An impatient moan from Luna told him he could think about it later. Bracing his hands around the back of her head and the base of her horn, he puckered his lips and gently slipped them around the tip.
Luna was ready this time. Sighing around her lover’s juicy love handle, she released a steadier stream of magic. It wasn’t a specific spell, more like raw energy shaped only by her feelings and desires. Now it was Luna’s turn to moan in delight as she felt her lover’s mouth vibrate around her horn, announcing his acceptance of her feelings. Luna’s lips curled into a snarl as she devoured her lover’s phallus with even greater intensity. He took the hint and did the same, taking more of the horn into his hot mouth and explored the grooves of her horn with his tongue. The two went at each other with increasing vigor until Luna gently guided her pinkie finger to Thomas’ pucker and pressed down until she hit his prostate. Thomas tensed as he released a torrent of semen into Luna’s mouth. The exquisite taste combined with Thomas inadvertently scraping teeth against her horn drove her over the edge as a waterfall poured out from her loins.
Slowly Luna pulled magic from her levitation spell until Thomas was lowered back into her lap. Holding him close, she fell back against the pillows, panting in delight. Gazing down between her breasts at the human resting against her belly, Luna’s mind couldn’t help but return to an earlier thought.
It would be easy to force him, so easy. Not only was he submissive to her whims, but he was small. He’d go down easier than even the daintiest mare, filling her up in a way even the mightiest cock could not achieve. She could even use a spell to lower his inhibitions more efficiently than any alcoholic beverage, but no. On top of being of questionable ethics, at best, if he didn’t want it, if her lover didn’t want to give in to the height of intimacy of his own free will, mind clouded by nothing but the bliss of passion from being with his beloved Princess, it would be meaningless. He was not some mere toy for her enjoyment. This human, Thomas, was her lover, and he deserved to be reminded as such.
“Dearest Thomas,” Luna began as she stroked his hair. “There is something we have been meaning to mention to you.”
Thomas was pulled out of his bliss by Luna’s more serious tone. “Alright?”
“Do you remember our first time together, when you were having trouble,” she searched for a more gentle phrasing, “standing to attention?”
Thomas gulped and nodded as his mind returned to that night. He had been Luna’s cuddle buddy for a while by then and Luna had finally decided that she wanted her first taste. It was terrifyingly erotic the way she had gotten to all fours and loomed over him as she began her first experimental nuzzles of his groin. She was gentle, and her hot breath felt good, but for some reason he just couldn’t get it up. When Luna asked why, he had almost started crying when he didn’t have a satisfying answer. She’d managed to stop him with a prolonged kiss to the lips, which he was too surprised to return. After which… “You mean the spell?”
“Indeed,” Luna exhaled as she too remembered the first time applying the spell to stiffen his little soldier. It had been so strange. His smell of arousal and the look in his eyes said he wanted to, but there was something that seemed to be blocking what should have been a natural physical reaction to her touches. And the way he had nearly begun to cry told her that something was wrong. She knew she had to do something.
“W-what about it?” Thomas asked nervously.
The spell had been simple enough. It was the same sort applied to older stallions with similar problems, to draw from the stallion’s own energy reserves to do what came naturally. Fail-safes were encoded into the spell to ensure that the stallion could not expend any more energy than he was capable of to ensure no pony bucked themselves to death. They had avoided this when Luna augmented it so that Thomas could draw from her energy reserves to achieve a satisfying number of climaxes, but even a spell like that could only be used sparingly to avoid straining castor and castee. Though for the life of her, Luna still didn’t understand why it was necessary for one as young as Thomas. She’d never pressed him on the matter as it was clearly a sensitive one, which is why she hoped he’d appreciate what she had to say now. “We have not used it in some time.”
Thomas blinked. “What?”
“We had been waiting to see if it was an anomaly, but for the last four nights, we have seen no reason to apply this spell.” Luna leaned in and bumped her nose against his. “You haven’t needed it.”
Thomas blinked again. “I… haven’t?” It had been painfully embarrassing that first time. He’d never had any issues with viewing porn online, but a real live woman, even if she was a pony, was just so different. He still didn’t fully understand why it happened, but had given Luna consent to apply the spell whenever she wished. It was something they both enjoyed, after all. But now, to find out that she hadn’t been using it for the last four days, that for the last four days whatever had stopped him was suddenly no longer there. Thomas felt a grin grow across his face, only to be smashed away when the alicorn pressed her lips to his.
Luna pulled back and smiled at her little human. “You have been standing on your own.”
They were such simple words, but they still made Thomas’ heart flutter as he leaned in for another kiss, which lasted a lot longer when he remembered to breathe through his nose.
Alas, the night was still young. The pair washed up quickly and returned to their previous appointments after grabbing a quick bite to eat. Talon teased Thomas over his exhausted expression, only to vow to give him an even more intense work out.
Meanwhile, Luna had zoned out several times while the nobles presented their issues, much to Attentive Eye’s annoyance. The Princess’ mind lingered on fantasies of her harem, what her new concubines would be like, their personalities bouncing off one another like they did in Celestia’s harem or any large herd, Thomas’ face as he rutted each and every one of them while she watched, and so many more things which brought a grin to her face.
Briefly her mind lingered on her old harems and the faces of lovers she’d never see again, but those thoughts passed quickly. The lives of ponies were so short compared to her own. While she’d come to terms with this long ago, the pain of their loss never lessened. In time, she would lose Thomas just like the others, but what mattered was the happiness they would share while they were together. Him, her, and her other lovers.
Luna put on her best serious face as she burned a mental note into her brain. Begin the next step of the investigation and narrow down the current list of concubine candidates. Momma Luna needs herself some fresh booty.
It was Thursday and Thomas was sweating bullets. Not helping the matter was just how nervous Moonlight and Talon looked as they stood outside the door to Celestia’s chambers.
“Y-you sure this is necessary?” Thomas asked nervously. “Did she really ask to see me?”
“Don’t worry about it, chimp,” Talon waved off, trying to put on her bravest face for his sake. “I guess she heard about our little training thing and felt she’d be a good candidate for your next tutor.”
“How’d she even hear about it in the first place?”
Talon averted her gaze. “Well, she was asking about you, so… I told her.”
“You saying it like that doesn’t exactly make me worry any less.”
“She’s not all that bad. I swear,” Talon asserted. “Granted, she can be a little imposing at times, but…” the griffon was cut off by the sound of a cough from the other side of the door. “Guess that’s our cue,” she said far too eagerly and pushed the doors open.
Celestia’s room was very similar Luna’s. It was the same size, but it had a brighter color scheme. The bed and furniture were in different positions, yet the doors to the closet and bathroom looked to be in the same spots. There was even a little table off to the side where a lone elderly unicorn with peach colored fur sat wearing only Celestia’s harem uniform and a patient smile. She brushed her purple mane from her face, allowing her red eyes to see and be seen clearly.
“Please,” she gestured to the single chair opposite her on the small table. “Have a seat.”
Her tone was gentle, but something told Thomas he best not make her wait. There was a cushion already on the chair, which Thomas couldn’t figure out if he should appreciate or fear, but he took his seat just the same and stared across at the unicorn. “Miss Sun Dancer,” he tilted his head in a light bow. “I-it’s nice to see you.”
Sun Dancer was old. This Thomas knew for certain. She looked to be in her early forties, but rumor around the castle she’d been in service to Celestia for much longer than that. Whatever her true age, the unicorn mare had reached it very gracefully. Her figure was very lean, suggesting she engaged in a healthy amount of exercise. Her full breasts were nicely shaped and frankly made her look even younger. There were almost no wrinkles on her face and her mane and tail seemed as brightly colored as any younger pony. But the clearest indicators of her age were her wizened red eyes that clearly held many decades of experiences behind them.
“Sir Thomas,” she returned the gesture before looking up at his companions. “You two may sit over there,” she gestured to a couch on the far wall. “We Senior Concubines have some things to discuss.”
Moonlight looked like she wanted to protest, but Talon just grabbed her wrist and gently led the way to the couch. They were still in the room, but the distance was a clear indicator that they were not to interfere and that Thomas was to be left alone to the elder unicorn’s machinations.
“Tea?” Sun Dancer gestured the table where two tea cups magically appeared.
“Oh, uh, yes please,” Thomas nodded as he watched a kettle engulfed in red magic levitate across the room where it poured first his cup then Sun Dancer’s. “Thank you, Miss Sun Dancer.”
“Sunny will be just fine,” Sun Dancer corrected as the tea pot moved away. “We are peers, you and I. And this meeting has been far overdue. Might I interest you in some cucumber sandwiches, perhaps some cheese?”
“N-no thank you. I just got back from breakfast.”
“Ah,” she nodded understandingly. “Forgive me, but I am still adjusting to these new night court hours. Breakfast was only a short while ago, yes?” she asked as she took the first sip of her tea.
“Y-yes,” Thomas nodded, taking the cue to begin nursing his own drink.
“Oh, don’t be that way. I’m not going to bite,” Sun Dancer chuckled. “Unless that would help you relax?”
Thomas was taken aback as he puzzled over Sun Dancer’s tone. Rather than a flirtatious joke, like he’d expect from Talon, this sounded like a sincere offer. “Um, no thank you.”
Sun Dancer leered at him in silence for some time, her eyes boring deep into him, studying his every twitch. It was most disconcerting. “You have nothing to fear from me,” she assured. “I promise that you are not in trouble and that I only wish to talk.”
“Oh. Okay,” Thomas nodded meekly.
Another pause followed before Sun Dancer’s smile curled into a frown. “You are still nervous,” she noted, as if waiting for him to elaborate on his own. “I promised that you will be fine, and yet you are still fearful. Why?”
“I, uh, don’t really know,” Thomas forced a smile before taking another sip.
“This meeting is pointless if we are not completely honest with one another, Sir Thomas. So it is only fair if I begin.” She set her cup on the table, which Thomas took as cue to do the same. “Celestia, Princess of the Sun and co-ruler of Equestria, has asked me to speak to you because she suspects there might be issues with your adaptation into our culture. Specifically, she has expressed concern that our difference in not only culture, but species, may have led to some manner of miscommunication down the road. This is no pony’s fault as we are all still strangers getting to know one another, but sound communication is the only viable path to mutual understanding. Do you follow me so far?”
Thomas gulped. She says there’s nothing wrong, but clearly you don’t have a meeting like this unless someone screwed up big time. I must have said or done something… but what? Surely Moonlight, Talon, or Luna would have pointed it out. Maybe they thought it’d be easier to bring in someone else to mediate? And where the hell does Celestia fit into all this? “I, uh, think so.”
Sun Dancer narrowed her eyes at the human. “For example, Celestia told me that you have asked that Luna not enter your dreams. If this is so, I would like to know why?”
Thomas shrugged. “It’s not that I don’t trust her, but… I don’t know. It just seems like that’s a bit of a breach of privacy that no one should do.” Sun Dancer continued staring at him with an unreadable expression, but motioned for him to continue. “If ponies are fine with it, fine. But I’m just not all that comfortable with, well, exposing myself like that.”
“I see,” Sun Dancer nodded. “Privacy is important to you. Is this why you are so reluctant to be fully nude, because it would expose something you’d rather others not see?”
“Something like that. Yeah.” Thomas would have tried to elaborate, but he was distracted by the sight of Sun Dancer’s loincloth levitating out from under the table where it hovered beside her head. The loincloth then folded itself upon the table where it rested as the unicorn’s magic left it. Sun Dancer gave an amused smile at what Thomas figured was his blushing face.
“Forgive me, but the rumors are true. You are rather cute when you’re embarrassed.”
Thomas felt himself sink into the cushion in an effort to make himself as small as possible. Frowning in concern, Sun Dancer reached out and left her open hand on the table between them. She wiggled in an inviting motion until Thomas hesitantly sat up and reached out for her hand. Her skin was very soft, but grip very strong. The way she stroked the back of his hand with her thumb was soothing, though.
“This right here is a perfect example of what I was getting at earlier. For one thing, as an authority figure, when I tell a pony that all is well, that pony will invariably become calmer. You did not, which shows just how easily miscommunication can occur between us. Do you understand so far?”
“Yeah. I guess that makes sense.”
“There are elements of our culture which continue to bother you and others that you simply do not understand. In the same token, there are elements of your behavior which continue to perplex. This is not your fault,” she asserted. “You are merely accustomed to a different set of standards. If anypony is to blame, it is those of us who have not taken the time to help you feel more comfortable in our ways so that you may adapt. Sir Thomas, I promise that I am only here to help. Do you accept?”
Thomas nodded, a bit more confident than before. “Sure.”
“I have spoken with Luna, Talon, and Moonlight, the three who know you best,” she began, shifting to a sterner tone. “And it grieves me to admit that Celestia, as she often is, is correct. I fear that there has been a most tragic failure to communicate from all effected parties. However, Luna is still rusty with relationships, so to speak, and you are a foreigner and non-pony who cannot be expected to learn our ways overnight. You may both be forgiven for your transgression, but that does not relieve you of atonement. To that end, I will try to be as forward as possible while remaining delicate.”
Once more Thomas was taken aback. The mare’s sudden tonal shift was quite jarring. Also, the words she was using, transgression and atonement were especially disconcerting.
“For starters, I understand that you are not as familiar with pony herds as one of your station should be,” she continued. “I am not here to judge you, only to correct an oversight. For instance, do you know about alphas and betas?”
Thomas shook his head.
“Oh dear,” Sun Dancer said to herself. “You there. Moonlight Shield.” The unicorn in question stood at attention. “I remember your father, Morning Glow. He has a herd of his own. Would you care to explain how herds traditionally work, specifically regarding alphas and betas?”
The orange unicorn was caught off guard at suddenly being called upon. However, the look of worry on her ward’s face told her that she was needed and so she walked up to the table. “It’s an old tradition that goes back to early Equestria but I don’t think too many ponies follow it that strictly anymore. This particular tradition has gone a bit out of fashion these last few centuries, but Princess Luna has been away for so long, she probably still adheres to it.” Moonlight quickly glanced to Sun Dancer, but the elder unicorn only nodded for her to continue. “The idea is that the herd is built around the ponies who started the herd. They’re called the alpha mare and alpha stallion, though ‘lead’ is the preferred term these days. The first mare is at the top of the hierarchy, so it’s safe to say that role goes to Princess Luna, right?”
Sun Dancer nodded sagely.
“Right. Well, after the lead mare there’s the second or beta mare and lead stallion. The beta mare technically sits above the lead stallion, but they roughly share the same duties and authority in the house, though the stallion is considered the… I guess the term would be emotional center. He sort of sits at the core of the herd with all the others organized to, well, protect him.”
“That would be you, Sir Thomas,” Sun Dancer added with a soft smile.
“The beta mare and lead stallion manage the household while the lead mare leads,” Moonlight continued. “In my family, my mother, Ornate Shield was the lead mare and my father, as the only male present, was the lead stallion. Then there are the omegas, stallions or mares, who only get as much responsibility as the leads and beta allow them.”
“Yo,” Talon raised her claw from over at the couch.
“But like I said, it’s a really old and rigid tradition that few herds follow these days. It was designed based on ideals that were common back when Equestria was untamed, like how stallions and foals needed to be protected from predators in order to protect the species. At least that’s what I remember from an essay I read in school. We’ll see about finding you a copy later. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”
“Except that this is exactly how a harem works,” Sun Dancer cut in. “Senior Concubine is just a fancy way of saying beta. In fact, if memory serves correctly, you, Sir Thomas, are the first male to hold the title of Senior Concubine in quite some time. However, because the Princesses have legions of staff to manage the affairs of the castle, your job is mostly to manage the harem. You see to their needs and ensure that all are looked after. And when the time comes to expand the harem, it is your duty to break the new concubines in, if you understand my meaning.”
Thomas did, and it was making him very nervous. “E-even the guys?”
Sun Dancer frowned, and then dismissed Moonlight. “Ah yes. Celestia also said that you are bent towards mares. However, from what I understand, Luna has preferred primarily mares in her past harems, so this should not be a problem.”
From what you understand? Just how much has she been prying? Jesus! Is it really that alien for someone to care about privacy? Then again, if she was asked to do this by Celestia, I suppose I can’t really fault her for being thorough. Also, I suppose there is a silver lining in all this. “So, I won’t have to, you know, do that stuff with other guys?”
“No pony will force you to do anything you are uncomfortable with,” Sun Dancer nodded serenely.
Thomas let out a relieved sigh. “That’s nice to hear.”
“There. You see how much happier we all are with open communication?” Sun Dancer beamed.
“Sure,” Thomas said with an appreciative smile.
“Then this confirms another thing Celestia suggested,” she looked down between them and briefly tightened her grip on the human’s smaller hand. “Ponies tend to be very physical in our communication. It’s intimate and, at least for us, much more effective at expressing our emotions more honestly than words, which have a bad habit of slurring or perhaps going unheard. We still speak, of course, but if there is something truly important that needs to be said, then we prefer to do so with our bodies. Do humans prefer verbal communication?”
Suddenly uncomfortable, Thomas attempted to pull his hand free of Sun Dancer’s grip, worried at what his body might be telling her without him even realizing it. But her grip tightened briefly, perhaps a sign that she could hold him if she wanted, only to let him go. Thomas studied his hand a moment, but couldn’t find any signs that the unicorn had done anything to it. He looked up in time to see her still watching him intently, studying him as one would a complex math equation. Then her expression changed. She’d solved the question, but didn’t seem satisfied with the answer. The silence persisted until Thomas realized that it was his turn to speak.
“Y-yeah,” he nodded as he searched his memory for the best way to explain this. “It’s not something we usually think about, but I remember hearing scientist say that humans are mostly audio and visual with how we talk. Words are important, but so is body language. I think touching varies between cultures though.”
“I see,” Sun Dancer nodded. “This is most fascinating, but what about you? Do you prefer words, gestures, or actions?”
“That’s, heh, a surprisingly deep question,” Thomas sighed. “I guess actions speak louder than words, but I’d prefer you not touch without asking, though. In all honesty, I’d prefer the talking.”
“Very well,” Sun Dancer agreed. “Words it is then. Sir Thomas. What do you think are my feelings for Celestia?”
“Say what?”
“I realize we have spoken little, but you have still seen me with Celestia, along with the other concubines. Based on those observations, I would like to know what you think my feelings are for the Princess of the Sun. And I would like you to answer using your own personal experiences as a reference.”
Admiral Ackbar’s missing his cue, cause this couldn’t be more obvious if she had neon lighting. But… what exactly is she trying to get at? Thomas put such suspicions aside and instead focused on the question. She wanted to know what he thought of her feelings, as if this was the sort of thing women asked guys. Then again, maybe it was, but it still felt like she was backing him into a corner by asking him to use his personal experience like that. No matter. He’d go with a safe answer for now. “I’m guessing you like her a lot?”
Sun Dancer could not have looked more disappointed as she shook her head. “Yet again, we have an issue of miscommunication. No, Sir Thomas. I do not like Celestia. I do not even love her as many Equestrians might answer if asked.” She glanced quickly at the mare and griffon over on the couch and quickly lit her horn, materializing a sound-proof barrier around the table and its occupants. “I am, in fact, in love with her,” Sun Dancer’s expression softened at those last few words. “She is my herd-mate, my mare, my beloved.” Thomas stared wide-eyed at the unicorn, just as shocked by how blatantly she said it as what she said. It wasn’t all that surprising for her to say she loved Celestia, but to refer to her as her herd-mate…
“Is it really that surprising?” Sun Dancer asked nonchalantly. “We have been together for many years. Not only have we shared beds, but our lives. We have confided in one another in ways that are unthinkable outside a relationship less than absolute trust. Were I a mare of high enough station, I might have asked her to marry me. But though the politics of the land prevent such a thing, I am not bothered. A fancy wedding ceremony would be a tedious gesture and would in no way change the love we hold for one another. Am I making myself clear?”
Thomas nodded dumbly along, unable to find the right words.
“Sir Thomas. I will not reveal all, as it is not my place to do so. However, for the time being, Sir Thomas, I will tell you that you are Luna’s herd-mate. Were you royal or nobility, I would call you her husband. But since you are not, you are simply her stallion while she is your mare; such is the traditional form of ponies in loving relationships.”
“L-love…” Thomas barely managed to stammer.
Again, Sun Dancer narrowed her gaze at the human. “Sir Thomas, would you like to rut me?”
“What!?” Thomas shouted, grateful for the sound-proof barrier.
“Forgive me. Perhaps this is another cultural barrier at hoof, but it is a simple enough question. Would you like to rut me?”
Thomas strained to piece together a series of words that best reflected how ridiculous this question was. “Are you seriously asking me to cheat on Luna?”
“Who said anything about cheating?” Sun Dancer pulled back, seemingly offended by his suggestion. She regarded him a moment before her expression softened into one of patience. “Sir Thomas, we are concubines to the Princesses. The rest of Equestria might regard us as merely the pinnacle of whorses and studs, but we are not nearly as open as they might believe. I, myself, have been propositioned more times than I care to count, and I have refused them all. My herd and my Princess would more than understand if I accepted, but those ponies simply weren’t my type, so to speak.” She smiled and laughed to herself.
“What’s so funny?” Thomas asked nervously.
“As you said, these are not the sorts of things a pony normally thinks about. I asked you if you would like to rut me because, as you said, you prefer to be asked before being touched. I intended it as a gesture of comfort, to show that you can trust me. Such a gesture is quite acceptable between herd-mates, which I was hoping you would see us as. However, like I said before, you will not be forced to do something you are not comfortable with.”
“How… how are we herd-mates?”
Sun Dancer rolled her shoulders in contemplation. “Difficult to say. To be honest, having you constantly at the dining table with us just sort of made you feel like a member of the family, if a bit quieter. Still, I have come to like you and was hoping to make that more apparent, in my own way,” she smiled as her eyebrows briefly danced, causing Thomas to recoil just a little. “But never mind all that.” Her horn lit and the barrier came down.
“Sir Thomas?” Moonlight asked as she jogged up to the table.
“Ya alright chimp?”
“Yeah,” he exhaled. “Just… a lot to take in.”
“Sir Thomas,” Sun Dancer began as she stood to her full height. “While normally I would assume this would go without saying, I feel I must remind you that the nature of your position requires a considerable amount of discretion. You would do well not to speak of these matters outside of those you know are already familiar with them, such as myself, the Princesses, or any we approve of. Do you understand?”
“Yeah,” Thomas nodded, not missing the briefly intensified look the unicorn gave him.
“I have not told you everything, as it is not my place to do so. You are, after all, Luna’s concubine,” she smiled and bent forward until they were at eye level. “But on that note, I have one more request I wish to ask of you.”
Thomas gulped, wondering how much of a choice in the matter he had. “S-sure. What is it?”
Quickly Sun Dancer leaned forward and gave him a swift peck on the lips. “Tell Luna.”
“Tell her… what?”
Sun Dancer rolled her eyes. “I told you how I feel about Celestia. It only seems fair that you be as honest and open with Luna, don’t you think?”
**********
The trio headed for Moonlight’s room to try to work on her book a bit more, but the creative juices simply weren’t flowing tonight. Instead they opted to spend the remainder of the night in the gym, trying pitifully to make small talk. Moonlight was clearly antsy and wanted to ask what was said after the barrier went up, but common sense and Talon told her that such a question defeated the purpose of such a spell. Talon did her best to keep them all focused on their workout. Then lunch time rolled around and Thomas was summoned.
Thomas was finishing up the last of his hamburger when he smiled up at Luna. “How’d you like them?”
Luna smacked her lips, tasting the remnants of her six burgers. “Actual meat instead of hay is a most inspired idea. We, er, I shall have to partake more often. Thank you for introducing me to this, dearest Thomas. You really are a treat.”
“Love you too.” And there it was. He’d been thinking about it all meal and it just suddenly slipped out as easily as some of his dry jokes. What the hell!? Why would you just blurt it out like that? Oh, shit. Now she’s looking at me.
Luna regarded Thomas for all of a full second, easily one of the longest in his comparatively short life. His mind raced with fear and anxiety as he calculated the possibility of making a break for the door, or perhaps the window; anything to escape whatever terrible thing he knew was coming next. A part of him was screaming about just how badly he’d fucked up. He’d broken the cardinal rule of any job and brought emotions into the work place. Luna was going to laugh at him, he was certain of it. She was going to laugh at the stupid little human for daring to step out of line and think he was any more to her than a fuck buddy.
“Love you too,” Luna said nonchalantly as she took the last bite of her last burger. She closed her eyes to savor the taste.
Thomas just stared up at the alicorn beside him, the negative voice rendered dead silent. I said it. I really just said it. And she said it right back, as if it was so easy. Had it been so easy all along? Was I making a big deal about nothing? Wait… if she said it so easily, does that mean…
“Hmm,” Luna hummed, not in delight from the taste, but in contemplation. “You know, it occurs to me, is this the first time we have said ‘I love you’ to each other?”
“Um,” Thomas hesitated, his anxiety returning as strong as before. “I think so.”
Luna frowned and swallowed the last of her burger. “What a terrible oversight.” She smiled once more and leaned down to give Thomas a kiss on the lips. Then she pulled back and gave a somewhat concerned smile. “I certainly hope this wasn’t a matter of distress for you.”
Thomas felt a lump in his throat. On the one hand, he didn’t want to say anything that might make Luna upset, even if it was in concern for him. But as his mind lingered on what it meant for her to be concerned for him, Luna took his silence for her answer. She then took the matter into her own hands and pulled him into her embrace, his body squishing between her supple mounds as she pressed his face into the crook of her neck.
“Dearest Thomas,” Luna hummed as she nuzzled the side of his head, rubbing her nose tenderly at his cheek and ear. “If you have ever had reason to doubt our feelings for you…” she was unable to answer as Thomas returned the nuzzle, pressing his face firmly into her neck as he wrapped his arms around her. She purred in delight.
Physical communication, huh? Thomas sighed contentedly into Luna’s fur. Guess that makes sense.
As if to emphasize the point, Luna began gently nibbling his ear lobe, viciously assaulting it with her hot breath. Her tongue shot out and gave a prodding lick, which was followed by a delighted hum from the alicorn. “And never doubt just how delectable you taste.”
Thomas pushed himself from the top of Luna’s chest until he was able to meet her eyes. She wanted him, and he suspected she didn’t especially care how. Grinning, Thomas leaned forward and pressed his nose to Luna’s, his lips a teasing few millimeters from hers.
Luna’s glare intensified as her lips curled into a snarl, revealing her pearly whites, some of which had morphed into fangs. “You think you’re cute, don’t you?” the corners of her mouth pulled into a smile.
“It’s come up a few times,” feeling daring as he continued pressing his face into her snout, “my lovely glass of grape juice.”
Luna glided her fingers down his back until they lunged for his rump with a powerful grip, causing him to yelp in surprise. She kneaded his flesh affectionately as she continued to glare down at his challenging eyes. “You are my stallion, dearest Thomas. Remember that.”
Thomas leaned back with a much gentler smile. Surprised at the sudden departure of her human’s playful defiance, Luna blinked and looked at him with mild worry.
“I’m your stallion… does this mean you’re my mare, too?” He looked back at her expectantly.
Luna stole a quick kiss and smiled mischievously. “Only if you claim me as yours, my little love.”
And he did, and in the traditional style of mounting, as was proper within a herd.
**********
Meanwhile, the Princess of the Sun had returned to her room where her lover and trusted friend awaited her. “So, how did it go?”
Thomas’ eyes hurt under the glare of the morning sun as he walked down the hall, fully garbed in one of the more casual sets of clothing he’d purchased, minus any shoes because none could be found for feet like his. A week had passed since Thomas was granted the magical beeper and began his lessons with Talon, marking this as yet another Friday off. After doing a bit more work on Moonlight’s book, Thomas returned to Luna’s chambers where he resumed mounting her for several rounds. While he’d been looking forward to his latest Friday off, he hadn’t expected Luna to cast a spell to completely rejuvenate his body so that he didn’t need to sleep today.
**********
“A little sunlight will do a body good,” Luna instructed. “You’ve been looking a bit down lately, so why don’t you go out and enjoy our sister’s lovely day. And don’t you worry about me. I’ll find a way to pass the time.” The Princess of the Night had been making considerable progress with her pronouns. “Love you.”
“Love you too,” Thomas said with a contented sigh before being dismissed.
Thomas could tell by her tone that there was something in particular she had in mind. It bothered him that she wasn’t telling him, but he pushed that thought aside. Royal business was not his business. That much hadn’t changed. If the Princess said to go out into the sun, then that’s what he’d do. Not to mention the casual sincerity with which she said those last two words made him happy enough not to care all that much. If nothing else, the sun did feel really good.
Apparently Moonlight had had a similar spell cast on her so that she could stay by his side. They made their way to chow hall where the much more numerous staff of the day court had almost completely engorged the cafeteria with their numbers. Thankfully, there were still a few empty tables at the back. As before, Talon met up with them and they entered the line.
“How’s it hanging, chimp,” the griffon greeted cheerfully.
“Ah. I see what ya did there,” Thomas said dryly. “Chimps hanging. That’s a good one.”
“I certainly thought so,” Talon puffed her chest out in pride as the three took their seats. “So, any juicy new stories to share about the royal moon?”
“That reminds me. You were acting a little weird the day after we went out that first time,” Thomas addressed the griffon with genuine concern. “You kept fidgeting like you were uncomfortable about something.”
Talon shrunk under the observation. “Oh, that. Well… let’s just say that Leste didn’t much care for me prying into her sister’s personal business, so she asked me, in that special way of hers, not to do it again.”
Thomas frowned. “But you just asked me again. Why did you do that if it just means you’re going to be punished again?”
“Well…” the griffon trailed off. “Who’s to say a little punishment now and then can’t be a little, ya know, fun?”
“I’m not even going to ask,” Thomas said with a shake of his head.
“You should,” Talon encouraged. “The only way you’re going to learn about the world is if you ask questions.”
“I think I can do without knowing this particular thing.”
“If I might interject,” Moonlight waited until Thomas nodded in eager approval. “I’m inclined to agree with Sir Thomas. I don’t think this matter is appropriate discussion over a meal,” she said as she took a bite of her oats. “Perhaps we should move on to the plans for today.”
“Plans?” Thomas inquired. “I thought we were gonna, you know, continue the training, just out in the sun.”
“Eager to meet the next mare, are we? Well not today,” Talon dismissed. “I’m a little bored of the current routine. And ever since the return of Princess Luna, I’ve been a little curious about the quaint little town where the Elements of Harmony live. Who’s up for a trip to the country?”
Moonlight nodded. “An outing to a small town does sound like a most peaceful venture. And I understand it’s under an hour by train. It can be like a mini vacation.”
“Already bought the tickets,” Talon bragged as she waved the pieces of paper out in front of them.
“Sounds like a plan then,” Thomas agreed before he began to consider the ramifications of what he’d just agreed to. The prospect of meeting the mane six was undoubtedly exciting, but he was also a bit nervous. Castle staff and nobles tended to wear clothing for the most part, but the ponies of Ponyville had always been completely naked in the show. He’d been getting better at not noticing, but the idea of being engulfed in a sea of naked candy colored bodies still made him uneasy. Thank god Luna was still applying the spell to keep his smell in check.
**********
The train arrived at 8:30 and the odd trio boarded, much to the interest of their fellow passengers. A griffon and guard together were unusual enough, but most eyed Thomas with a mix of wonder and trepidation.
“Is it really necessary for you to still be wearing your uniform?” Thomas asked the griffon as he gestured to some of the staring ponies.
“Like I said before,” Talon explained. “I’m proud of my body and I want the whole kingdom to know what I do with it. Besides, you’d probably stick out less if you didn’t wear anything at all.”
Thomas glared at the griffon. “And your reasoning would be?”
“Wearing clothes just to wear clothes is weird, especially something like that,” she gestured to Thomas’ shirt. “You obviously have nowhere important to be, but you’re wearing stuff anyway.”
“What about you and Moonlight?” Thomas asked defensively. “You both always wear something.”
“Smarty-corn is a guard. She’s supposed to wear armor,” Talon explained casually. “And this is my uniform. It has function in letting others know my station in life. We have reasons to wear what we do that other ponies recognize. They can’t figure out why you’re wearing that, so it weirds them out a little.”
“Whatever,” Thomas shook his head. “I’m not going outside naked,” he said firmly.
A pleased smirk grew across Talon’s face. Her student was standing up to her, something she took as a sign that her training was paying off, but she’d tell him about it later. “Anyway, we’re going to go meet a few old friends of mine and I want them to recognize me.”
“Begging your pardon, Tali,” Moonlight spoke up, the way she mentioned the griffon’s nickname sounding experimental and awkward on her lips. “But you do not seem the sort that is easy to forget.”
“Thank you,” Talon bowed her head gratefully. “And it’s only been a few months since I last saw them, so we shouldn’t have any problem there. Mostly I’m wearing this so the little chimp here isn’t tempted to do anything too rash, or anything that might cause a rash.” She snickered.
Thomas groaned. “Can we please change the subject?”
“Sure thing,” Talon turned towards Moonlight. “Been meaning to ask, if you set out to join the royal guard for Celestia, how’d you wind up in the night court?”
“Well, night court had only been formally announced literally the day before my class’s graduation, so I couldn’t very well have planned it in advance,” Moonlight explained. “At first it sounded appealing as a new division of the military with a lot of room for advancement. But then when we showed up for our first day of assignments, the Staff Sergeant gave this really moving speech about how Nightmare Moon was gone and that brave ponies were needed to serve the Princess’ sister with the same honor and diligence as we would her.
“When who should show up but Luna, herself. She looked so small and helpless back then, not to mention incredibly shy. Celestia built on the Staff Sergeant’s speech and gave a heart wrenching plead for us to give Luna the devotion she deserved,” Moonlight paused as she stared at her reflection in her tea. “I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only pony who had to stop herself from breaking formation and giving the small Princess a hug and tell her we would be there for her.”
“Aww,” Talon cooed. “Sounds like love at first sight.”
“Maybe it was,” Moonlight said mostly to herself. “Those of us that volunteered that day wanted nothing more than to make sure Luna was safe and happy. Naturally we were exceptional in the former, but military school doesn’t exactly prepare you for the latter, so the Princess barely smiled.”
“I remember that,” Talon nodded. “Celestia asked us if we’d be willing to stable ourselves out to her sister. A bunch of us volunteered, including me, but the little alicorn refused. Apparently she didn’t want any of her sister’s pity.”
Moonlight nodded. “I was happy to hear that she started opening up to her attendants, but that still didn’t lead to very much smiling. Then one day, after the intruder alarm sounded, all that changed.”
“I remember that, too,” added Talon with a cheery smile and bumped her shoulder against Thomas’. “That’s when this little guy showed up and started giving the old gal exactly what she needed.”
Thomas blushed as he looked down at his fidgeting hands.
“Yes,” Moonlight said warmly. “I can’t say what it was, but she started smiling a lot more with you around. And that was even before your official job assignment.”
“Jealous?” Talon asked. When Moonlight didn’t answer right away, the smile left Talon’s face. “Oh sweet Faust, you were.”
“W-what?” Moonlight stuttered. “I wasn’t… why would I be… Shut up!”
“You were,” Talon accused with a grin. “You were totally jealous of the little chimp sticking it to your true love. That’s such a bat pony thing to covet the Moonbutt. Admit it.”
Moonlight guiltily averted her eyes from the other two as her muzzle turned a bright shade of pink. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Also, I might not be a bat pony, but I’m pretty sure that’s racist.”
Talon leaned in close to the mare, glaring at her with a mischievous smirk. “Say it.”
“No.”
“Say it.”
“No!”
“Say it!”
“NO!”
“Say it or I’ll tell Celestia,” Talon threatened.
Moonlight froze. “You wouldn’t…”
“I think we both know I would.”
The orange mare lowered her head in embarrassment and muttered so softly that no pony outside their booth could possibly hear, “maybe.”
“Eee!” Talon squealed. “This is amazing. A love triangle between the guard, the Princess, and her concubine. It’s like something out of a romance novel.”
“A cheap novel, maybe,” Moonlight swore under her breath as she secretly wondered if such a scenario could work in her book.
“Oh! Before I forget,” Thomas pepped up as he motioned to Moonlight. The unicorn guard unfastened a jingling bag from her waist and handed it to the human, which he in turn offered to the griffon. “One hundred and fifty bits. That’s what I owed you, plus interest. I finally remembered,” Thomas finished proudly.
“So you did,” Talon said as she held the bag up to her ear and gave it a few light shakes, and then she frowned. “Bummer. And here I was hoping I could get some proper extortion out of you.”
Thomas gave a half smile as he beamed at the griffon. “Not today.”
Smirking, Talon lifted the bit bag over her head and gently lowered it into her gullet. Moonlight turned away in disgust while Thomas stared in morbid fascination, watching as the bag disappeared little by little as the griffon swallowed, until there was only a bulge that ran down her throat and vanished into her chest. She caught him staring and gave a suggestive glare right back.
**********
Eventually the train arrived and all disembarked.
“Smell that?” Talon punctuated with a deep inhale. “That there’s the smell of somewhere without ponies with their heads shoved up their own flanks.” Sigh, “Refreshing.” The griffon soon realized that she’d been left all alone on the platform and quickly rushed after her companions.
Thomas was in the middle of a minor geek-out as his eyes darted around the town. He recognized familiar sights, such as Carousel Boutique and the tall spire of town hall off in the distance. All other buildings were unfortunately bland, like the cookie cutter designs of homes in most suburbs. Still, Ponyville was Ponyville and he was happy to be here. On the other hand, Thomas was not so happy to have his fears confirmed. It was just past morning and the entire town was up and about. So many ponies of so many shapes, sizes, and colors, and enough clothing between all of them to fill a single laundry basket.
“You left me,” Talon accused with a huff. “And I thought we were friends.”
“You were taking too long,” Moonlight said flatly.
“And I want to get a look around town before we have to go back,” Thomas said with curbed enthusiasm as he tried his best not to stare at the surrounding pedestrians.
“Calm your titties there, chimp,” Talon chided. “We’ve got the full day off. The spell we’re under lasts a full 24 hours so we don’t have to be back until, like, 4:30 in the morning.”
“Why 4:30?” Thomas inquired.
“Cause that’s when I set my appointment for my semi-weekly massage,” Talon said with a relaxed grin. “Those guys know just where to touch a girl to get all her kinks out.”
“Right,” Thomas deadpanned, keeping his focus squarely on his friends and not on the smaller naked ponies he was pretty sure were minors. All seemed to be paying him little mind thus far, but more than once he caught ponies doing a double take to stare at him curiously. Though despite the presence of a guard, or perhaps because of her, none seemed willing to approach just yet. “So you said you had some friends you wanted to meet. Why don’t we start our tour with them?”
“Right on, chimp. Just need to get my bearings first. I’ll be back in a second.” The griffon unfurled her wings and took to the skies, leaving her companions to swipe away the dust of her takeoff.
“I don’t suppose you have any idea who these friends of hers are?” Thomas asked.
“Can’t say that I do.”
“So after that, was there anywhere in particular you wanted to visit?”
“If I might remind you, Sir Thomas, I’m here as your protector, and possible chaperone,” Moonlight added as she eyed the griffon in the sky. “I thank you for your consideration, but to be honest I’m happy just being in a sleepy little village like this.”
“Not so sleepy according to the papers,” Thomas corrected, not bothering to ask her to drop the titles.
“Anomalies,” Moonlight waved her hand dismissively. “No pony was expecting Nightmare Moon to return, and certainly not here of all places. And the incident with the parasprites was just a bit of bad luck mixed with poor communication. Those things are in the past and I’m certain this town has nothing but long, peaceful days ahead of it.”
It took all of Thomas’ restraint to keep from saying: You have no freaking idea.
“What’s that grin for?”
“Oh, nothing. I’m… I’m sure you're right,” Thomas said before looking back up at the griffon who now seemed to be talking to a brown male pegasus he didn’t recognize. “She still up there?”
“HUMAN!”
Before either Thomas or Moonlight could react, he had already been tackled to the ground by some mint green blur and skidded about twenty feet from where he’d been. As he coughed desperately to try to pull air back into his lungs, he found the task especially difficult due to large weight on his lower stomach. Whatever it was, it was soft and seemed to be fidgeting based on what he felt. It was warm too. These thoughts connected in Thomas’ mind and filled him with dread as he realized what had hit him.
When the dust finally settled, sitting atop the pitiful human was a unicorn mare with mint green fur, golden eyes, a cyan mane and tail with a white streak, a lyre on her flank, and a manic ear to ear smile on her muzzle. It was the walking talking worst case scenario: a fan-mare.
“H-human,” the naked mare whispered as she stroked her fingers across his face, but pulled back when he showed resistance. “You’re really real, aren’t you? A real live human here in Ponyville. I… I just… I mean wow. Bonbon! Come quick.”
“Yes, I’m human,” Thomas said as flailed around beneath the unexpectedly heavy unicorn. His left arm was pinned under her leg while his own legs were powerless to move him or even kick his assailant off. “Now would you please get off me!?”
“Lyra!” called an angry female voice. Thomas looked in the direction the voice had come from and saw an earth mare with a beige coat, a dark blue mane with a pink streak, cerulean eyes, and, because she was also naked, three pieces of wrapped candies could be seen on her flanks. Her arms were flying out in front of her like a professional sprinter as she raced furiously towards the mare atop Thomas. Mighty earth mare breasts flopped about and more than once nearly struck her in the face.
The mare Thomas recognized as Bonbon suddenly put on the brakes and skidded to a halt just a few inches away from the pinned human. “Lyra! What did I tell you about tackling strange ponies?”
“You there!” Moonlight bellowed as she loomed over the three, horn lit and ready to cast any number of offensive spells. “Remove yourself from him this instant or I shall arrest you for assaulting a member of the royal court.”
“The royal c-” Bonbon trailed off before turning her attention back to the mint unicorn. “What in Tartarus did you do this time, Lyra!?”
“Humans, Bonbon,” Lyra said distantly as if in a trance, apparently either not noticing or not caring about the unicorn guard ready to blast her. “I told you they weren’t just an old pony’s tail.”
“Lyra, sweetie,” Bonbon said in a calmer tone, but still very strained. “There’s a royal guard standing right behind you, ready to do Celestia knows what because you assaulted a…” it was then that Bonbon finally looked down to see what her friend was sitting on. “A… what is that?”
“He’s a human!” Lyra proclaimed before Thomas could speak for himself. “At least I think it’s a ‘he’.” Still sitting on Thomas’ lower stomach, she craned her neck to look over her shoulder at his lower body. She wiggled her rump and confirmed that there was an adequately sized lump wedged between her rump cheeks. “Oh yeah. Definitely a ‘he’,” she observed with a perverted smirk.
Thomas took a momentary break in his struggles to process what he’d just felt against his crotch. This is wrong on so many levels. And why did I have to run into the crazy human stalker of all ponies? “Please stop doing that,” he pleaded in a less than certain manner.
“And look here,” Lyra demanded as she spun around on Thomas, now placing the lump against her lower lips as she leaned down and grabbed hold of one of his legs. “See. See! Feet. Real human feet, with toes and everything.” She lightly touched each of his digits and a low moan escaped her throat. “They’re even more amazing than I thought.”
“I told you to get off of him!” Moonlight bellowed, the glow of her horn growing dangerously bright.
“Lyra!” Called a voice from above, finally getting the unicorn to turn her attention elsewhere.
“Talon?”
“Lyra!” Talon landed, opening her arms welcomingly as she approached.
Lyra finally removed her impressive weight from Thomas’ stomach and rushed into the griffon’s embrace. “It’s been so long.”
“How’s it goin ya nut?” Talon ruffled Lyra’s mane.
“I’m not a nut! And I can prove it this time. Look!” she pointed at Thomas as Moonlight checked him over. “See! A real live human here in Ponyville. I told you they were real.”
“Yeah. That’s my buddy, the chimp,” Talon said casually.
Flabbergasted, Lyra pulled back from the griffon. “You know a human! Since when?”
Talon counted off on her clawed fingers. “Coming up on four months, now.”
“And you never told me!?” Lyra screamed, seemingly ready to burst a blood vessel before a pair of beige hands yanked on her tail.
“Lyra!” Bonbon seethed, trying to calm herself down. “Lyra, sweetie. Would you forget the human stuff for one second and apologize to the filly you just tackled,” she pointed at Thomas.
Moonlight was fuming as she brushed off Thomas, both human and unicorn too distracted to speak. Thomas tried to push the fussing unicorn away, but she just brushed his hands aside and resumed her task. Lyra was still giddy with excitement and Bonbon’s worried eyes firmly planted on the irked guard. Taking all this in, Talon burst out laughing. “Oh, this is too rich.”
“Talon!” Moonlight barked. “Explain.”
“Right, right,” Talon quelled her giggles. “Introduction time. Everyone,” she pointed at Lyra, “This here is Lyra Heartstrings. She’s a former student of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns and we used to hang out together.”
The still agitated Moonlight glared at Lyra, and then turned to Talon. “You… hung out?”
“Not like that,” Talon dismissed casually.
“The school’s right across the street and we used to catch lunch together,” Lyra explained.
“I’m the only one who would listen to her crackpot theories on humans.”
“Not crackpot!” Lyra insisted. “Just look. There’s one right now. I felt his human penis grinding into my plot and my crotch through his clothes, just like I knew they liked to wear. I was right all along.”
“And that over there is Canterlot’s one and only resident human. His name is Thomas, but I get to call him the chimp,” Talon said the last part braggingly.
Shock overtook Bonbon’s expression as she did a double take on Thomas, studying him intently. “H-human?”
Thomas nodded as an exhausted sigh fell upon him.
“See!” Lyra boasted. “Twilight totally owes me twenty bits.”
“That’s still no excuse for tackling her like that,” Bonbon retorted.
“Not a ‘her’!” Thomas snarled, fed up with continuously being mistaken for a female.
Bonbon’s ears splayed as she flinched.
“Hey,” Lyra stepped defensively between Thomas and the earth pony. “Human or no, no pony talks that way to my Bonny.”
At Lyra’s aggressive movement, Moonlight stepped in front of Thomas, staring down the other unicorn. The tension was palpable as both looked ready to light their horns and begin fighting at any minute.
“Wo now,” Talon beseeched as she stepped between the two unicorns, claws out to hold the two back. “No need for any of that. Lyra here’s just a little excitable and doesn’t really know how to hold back.” She turned to the unicorn in question. “Lyra. Say you’re sorry to the nice human.”
Lyra finally broke eye contact with Moonlight and faced Talon. The sight of her old friend thankfully defused her tension before she looked over at the human standing behind Moonlight. “Sorry, Mr. Human. Didn’t mean to knock you down like that.”
“Good,” Talon nodded. “Now chimp. You apologize for yelling at Lyra’s fillyfriend.”
Thomas looked ready to protest, but an urging look from Talon told him he didn’t have much of a choice. “Sorry for yelling.”
“There,” Talon bobbed her head as she stepped back. “Now shake and be friends.” When no one seemed willing to take the first step, Talon folded her arms and tapped her foot irritably. Her prompting eventually convinced Thomas and Lyra to step forward and shake hands. “Do it properly,” Talon chided.
“Hey there, Mr. Human. My name’s Lyra Heartsrings,” she greeted with a genuine smile. “The pretty mare behind me is my fillyfriend, Bonbon.”
“Hello,” Bonbon waved meekly.
“Nice to meet you,” Thomas said with a bit more confidence. “My name’s Thomas. And this is Moonlight Shield,” he tilted his head at the other unicorn. “My bodyguard.”
“Charmed,” Moonlight answered flatly as she stood just beside Thomas with ears flicking about, unwilling to let her guard down like that again.
“Oh good,” Talon sighed in relief. “For a minute there, I thought things were gonna be awkward.”
After Moonlight finished apologizing profusely to Thomas for her earlier negligence, and with Talon as the bridge, the groups eventually began to warm up to one another. Surprisingly, aside from giving them their space, the surrounding ponies paid them little attention. Thomas attributed this to the frequent activity in Ponyville desensitizing the populace, or maybe the sight of two locals and a royal guard were enough to appease their herd mentality that all was well. A light squabble between three mares, a griffon, and a creature apparently out of myth barely even registered. However, in addition to Moonlight continuing to glare at Lyra while keeping Thomas within arm’s reach at all times, and the way Lyra would sneak glances at Thomas’ feet when she thought no one was looking, there were still some matters of tension.
“I’m still mad at you,” Lyra lightly punched Talon in the shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me there was a human living in Canterlot?”
“Bout that,” Talon rubbed the back of her neck guiltily. “For a while, we were kinda supposed to be keeping the chimp a secret. Order from the Princesses. You understand, right?”
“Order from the Princesses?” Bonbon paled. “Is he a matter of national security or something? Did he escape? Is that why there’s a guard here, to take it back to its cage?” The earth pony clung to her unicorn’s arm frightfully, watching in terror as the human in question face palmed.
Protective instincts and training kicking in, Moonlight moved between the human and earth mare. “Sir Thomas is not some wild beast. He is a very kind and gentle young stallion and wouldn’t harm a fly. He is no threat to anypony and I think we would all appreciate if you refrained from referring to him as ‘it’.”
Bonbon gulped, realizing her faux pas, but still warily clung to Lyra. “Sorry.”
“It’s, um, alright,” Thomas managed to say. The mare’s nervousness wasn’t doing much to calm his own nerves.
Frowning, Bonbon looked up from Thomas to Moonlight. “Is he alright?”
“Sir Thomas has a very timid nature and doesn’t normally open up to strangers. He’s still adjusting to life in Equestria, but once he gets to know you he has plenty more to say,” Moonlight explained to Bonbon’s apparent satisfaction.
Thomas exhaled. It’s a little annoying that they’re talking around me instead of to me, but I guess I’m not exactly being all that inviting. Maybe they’re trying to be accommodating?
“Right,” Talon nodded. “Anyway, the Princesses, both of them, wanted to keep the chimps existence on the down low basically to avoid any incidents with crazy ponies pulling stupid stunts.”
“Hey!” Lyra whined.
“Oh shut up, Lyra,” Talon chided gently. “You know you earned it.”
“You kinda did,” Bonbon shrugged, eliciting a pout from her fillyfriend.
“Anyway,” Talon resumed again. “Word from up top is that the little guy’s being granted a bit more freedom to travel, but he still needs an escort for his protection. That brings us to smarty-corn here,” she gestured to the unicorn guard by Thomas’ side. “Moonlight Shield has been assigned as the chimp’s personal protector by none other than Princess Luna, and I think she’d be awfully grateful if you didn’t damage her…” Talon pondered then shrugged, “her Senior Concubine.”
Lyra and Bonbon snapped to attention as their pupil’s shrunk. “Her what?” they whispered.
Moonlight beamed angrily at the griffon. “Was it really necessary to tell them?”
“Necessary? No,” Talon admitted. “But Luna already admitted as much to the papers, so it’s not like we’re keeping it secret anymore.”
“They talked about humans in the papers!?” Lyra’s jaw practically fell to the ground. “Which paper?”
“The Canterlot Canter, I think,” Talon answered. “It was a while ago.”
Lyra’s face scrunched adorably in frustration. “I knew we should have subscribed to them. All the cool stuff happens in Canterlot.”
“I told you we’re on a budget,” Bonbon admonished gently. “You’re already subscribed to three of those silly conspiracy magazines.”
“Well not anymore,” Lyra shook her head. “If those idiots can’t even keep track of stuff in the mainstream news, they ain’t getting one more bit from me.”
“So…” Bonbon spoke up in an attempt to make small talk with the unusually quiet subject of her concern. “You’re Princess Celestia’s Senior Concubine?”
“Luna’s,” Thomas answered. He watched Bonbon’s eyes widened in brief surprise and figured the idea of any but Celestia having a harem, even her sister, was simply something the mare hadn’t bothered to consider until now.
“That’s so cool,” Lyra cheered, her perkiness returned with a vengeance as she bounced about, her fillyfriend struggling to hold on. “So Princess Luna must like humans as much as I do. That’s amazing!”
After a brief moment of staring at the way Lyra’s breasts and booty lifted into the air and jiggled when she came back down, Thomas averted his gaze with a blush. However, he managed to catch Moonlight’s ear flick and her nostrils flare as she stared down at him. He followed her gaze down to the tent in his shorts and tried to discretely adjust his shorts to hide his shame.
Talon watched the odd movement before she realized what was happening. “Sorry ladies,” she apologized to the fillyfriends before taking Thomas by the arm and leading him away. “We’ll be right back. I just remembered I needed to tell the chimp something really important.”
The mares looked on curiously, but neither understood what was happening.
“I thought the Princess’ spell was supposed to take care of this,” Moonlight bemoaned from the entrance to an alley way.
“It keeps his sweat under control, but that don’t do squat if he gets aroused the regular way,” Talon explained as she looked down at Thomas with mock condemnation. “Ya had to do it, didn’t chya. Ya had to go and stare at the bouncing titties until you got yourself all hot and bothered.”
“Not my fault,” Thomas snapped as he faced the wall to hide his embarrassment. “It’s an involuntary response.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that one before,” Talon exhaled sarcastically. “Anyway, we should take care of this,” she said as she leaned in and reached around to Thomas front.
“Hey,” Thomas slapped her claw away. “What are you doing?”
Talon frowned down at the human. “Don’t worry about it,” she flexed her claws. “These babies have handled the delicates of mares and stallions alike. I know how to be gentle,” she reached down again, only to be blocked a second time.
“We don’t need to do that,” Thomas insisted. “I can just… think about other stuff till I calm down."
“Every mare and stallion in town is gonna be able to smell your arousal,” Talon reminded. “Normally most ponies would just ignore it as part of everyday life, but you’ve got a really exotic smell. Luna cast that spell to keep your sweat in check, but I’m not sure if she remembered to account for this. Now she’s gonna have to modify the spell, then she’s gonna have to keep remembering to take it on and off whenever you’re not on duty… ugh.” her ponytail swayed as she shook her head and cracked a smile. “You really are a lot of trouble, you know that, right?”
Thomas, lowered his gaze and slumped against the wall. “I know.”
“Oh, hey now. Come on,” Talon grabbed his shoulder. “Don’t get all mopey on me again. I’m just giving ya a hard time. It’s not that bad, really. Come on. Talk to me, bud.”
Thomas looked past Talon towards Moonlight. “Was I really being confined to the castle?”
Moonlight’s stifled her concern as she stood at attention. “Precautions and protocols needed to be made while you stayed by the Princess’ side,” the unicorn guard explained with a mix of seriousness and sympathy. “Guards needed to be informed of your existence, including how you were important to the Princess and not a threat. It was for your own protection.”
Thomas glared at her, and then at Talon. “And neither of you told me?”
Neither griffon nor unicorn had an immediate response for that.
“Heh. Not even Luna told me I was under house arrest.”
“You shouldn’t think of it like that,” Moonlight stepped forward.
“Then how should I look at it?” Thomas snapped.
Moonlight stood fast, unfazed by his tone. “The Princess was acting in your best interests, keeping you by her side where you’d be safe,” she paused, seemingly fighting against the urge to stay quiet. “You always looked so happy when you were around her.”
Thomas gave a relenting sigh. “Yeah… I just wish someone would have told me.”
“You’re right,” Talon nodded. “I didn’t know that you didn’t know, but that’s no excuse. You should have been told and have every right to be upset. Friends shouldn’t keep secrets like that.” Cautiously she leaned in to get a better look of Thomas’ face. “You wanna head back to the castle?”
“No,” Thomas waved her away. “I’m fine. I’m good. This is just me being stupid. No need to cut our trip short just for-ow!” He flinched as Talon flicked the side of his head.
“Didn’t I just say to stop getting mopey?” Talon frowned. “Seriously, chimp. You need to learn to lighten up about stuff. Luna should have been more open with you and you’re right to be upset, but I’m sure she didn’t do it to hurt you. Plus you have to remember what she’s been going through for the last thousand years.”
Nightmare Moon. The name was still a taboo, even if Luna wasn’t around, but they still held their tongues out of respect.
“Now, I can’t say for certain,” Talon continued, “but it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if being possessed for so long has left her a little bit rattled, even now. I don’t want to go assuming anything, but when you do confront her, as you should, I’d recommend doing so gently.”
Thomas felt a tightening in his chest. Could that really be true? Has Luna been suffering the lingering effects of Nightmare Moon and just not told anyone about it? Thomas grimaced at the thought of Luna, his mare, keeping something like that from him, only to reflect on his own hypocrisy on the matter. Relationships are hard sometimes.
“Also, even ignoring that, just because she’s a Princess, doesn’t mean she can’t get a little scatter-brained from time to time." Talon began snickering. “Oh the stories I could tell you about Leste.”
Eventually Thomas began laughing along with Talon, and even Moonlight gave a light chuckle. But even then Thomas held onto his worry for Luna.
“Better?” Talon asked.
“I guess,” Thomas looked down at his shorts as he moved away from the wall. “And I guess that problem took care of itself.”
“Maybe,” Talon nodded in disappointment. “But if this happens again, we really should do it my way. It’ll help keep ya calmer for the rest of the day.”
“I don’t think so,” Thomas dismissed. “Kissing mares is one thing, but I don’t think she’d like it if we did stuff like that.”
“It’s not like we’re sneaking around behind her back,” Talon shrugged. “She understands that you’re different from most stallions. So long as you tell her what we did and why, I know she won’t mind. Hay, I’ll even tell her with you if it makes ya feel better.”
Thomas nodded. “I appreciate the thought, but it still feels like cheating.”
“Besides, she doesn’t expect you to be exclusive. The Princesses want us to be happy, and if that involves other ponies, then all’s the merrier,” Talon trailed off. “I get that your culture was monogamist, so that’s causing a bit of an issue. I was in the same boat. However, as your friends, you need to feel free to open up to us so we can help you. Understand?”
“Yeah,” Thomas sighed and looked up at the imposing griffon. He’d felt a lot better since last night, but there was still some stupid block that kept him from telling her just how much he appreciated how much she was trying to help. Instead, he figured a light smack on the arm and a brief nod would be just as good. Judging by the way Talon started beaming happily, and even how Moonlight’s smile grew just a bit, he was probably right.
“Or, ya know, we could just let ya accidentally trigger every mare in town into an early heat and then watch as they run ya down,” Talon smirked sinisterly. “You ain’t that fast, but I can think of worse ways to go.”
Thomas shivered at the griffon’s description. In his mind’s eye he could see the stampede of pony shaped skittles coming right at him, giant breasts bouncing all over the place and eyes filled with mad lust like some lame harem fantasy. Then he remembered that, if such a thing were to happen, the mob would have stallions in their midst too. “I think I’ll just try to ask for help a bit more.”
“Good colt,” Talon messed his hair affectionately before turning to Moonlight with an evil grin. “This applies to you too, smarty-corn. It’s your job to protect him. If that means getting on your knees and learning the benefits of eating meat, I expect you to do your duty.”
The orange mare turned red apple red, unable to make intelligible sounds.
Thomas’ eyes shifted between the two before settling on Talon. “Are you being serious right now?” He asked, thinking Talon was only making one of her dirty jokes. Little did he know, ‘eating meat’ was actually a recognized element in pony courting rituals.
Talon gave the human a sly smile. “If you can’t tell by now, that just goes to show we’ve still got a long way to go.”
**********
Eventually the trio returned to the pair who were now sitting on a nearby bench.
“There you guys are,” Lyra waved them over. “Must have been a pretty intense talk.” She looked like she wanted to inquire further, but decided against it, “Anyway, ya gotta tell us, what’s Princess Luna like, ya know, in bed?”
“I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to discuss such matters with civilians,” Thomas answered confidently.
“What he said,” Talon snickered. “Rules haven’t changed just because it’s a new Princess.”
“Worth a shot,” Lyra shrugged. “Anyway, you guys want to get something to eat? Bonbon here,” she wrapped her arm around the other mare’s shoulder, “used to work over at Sugarcube Corner. In fact, if we head over there, I’m certain she’d be willing to whip something up to make up for the trouble we’ve caused you.”
“We?” Bonbon asked incredulously. “I’m pretty certain you’re the one who caused all the trouble here today.”
“Semantics,” Lyra waved dismissively. “We’re fillyfriends, practically herded if we could just find a stallion. That means we share everything, the good and the bad.”
Bonbon beamed at the smiling unicorn. “You’re lucky I love you, or else I would have strangled you in your sleep a long time ago. You know that, right?”
“It has been brought to my attention,” Lyra bobbed her head whimsically, finally forcing Bonbon to crack a smile.
“Ah, young love,” Talon sighed. “Now don’t you two go making the same mistakes I did. Be open with each other and never forget to make the other one feel loved.”
“No problems on this front,” Lyra affirmed, taking Bonbon’s hand in her own. “We tell each other everything.”
Bonbon snorted. “Yeah. I swear I can’t even get to sleep anymore unless this one starts yapping about her crazy theories for at least half an hour.”
“Happy to be of service,” Lyra joked to the amusement of the others. “Speaking of my theories,” she brightened up as she turned to Thomas. “I was hoping you might confirm a couple things.”
I was wondering when we’d get to this part. Thomas thought amusedly. “About humans? Sure. What’d you have in mind?”
“Well…” Lyra trailed off as she began thinking. Clearly she had so many questions that is was proving difficult to choose where to start. “What about magic machines and super iron?”
“Super iron?” Thomas perplexed.
“Yeah! Super iron,” Lyra cheered. “Legend has it that humans have a way to enchant machines to make them move all on their own and iron to make it super strong without the use of magic.”
“Lyra, that’s absurd,” Bonbon bemoaned. “Machines are like lab equipment, trains, or even refrigerators. All of which use talismans to function, which, need I remind the unicorns present, is a kind of magic. You can’t enchant something without magic.”
“Bonbon’s right,” Thomas admitted.
“See,” Bonbon bragged.
“It’s not enchantment, but we can make our machines move.” The human became aware of all eyes fixed firmly on him, giving him a sudden onset of self-consciousness. “Well, I don’t really know the mechanics of it all, but for things like trains we burn coal to power the engine.”
“But you just said you don’t use magic?” Bonbon countered. “Of course trains use coal, but how do you get the energy to the wheels without talismans?”
“That’s how your trains work?”
“Naturally,” Bonbon said a bit too proudly.
I guess that makes sense. This world uses magic to do roughly the same things humans do. That probably also explains why their stuff looks so similar to ours. “I’m not much of an engineer, so I can’t really say, but I think all the power from the heat goes to a mechanism which turns the wheels in just the train engine.”
“Mechanism?” Talon asked.
“I knew it!” Lyra exclaimed. “Humans do use machines to compensate for their lack of magic. What other kinds of things do you do? Like, how do you make your refrigerators work?”
And much of the remaining walk left both Thomas and Lyra disappointed in his lack of engineering knowledge.
When it became clear that Thomas couldn’t offer as many specifics about machines as Lyra wanted, she decided to ease up until they reached their destination. Maybe then she’d think of better ways to phrase her questions. Surprisingly, the mint unicorn completely forgot to ask any questions about human history, but that was probably for the best as the human in question was hesitant to get into many of the more unpleasant elements.
“You think we should get us a pegasus?” Lyra asked her fillyfriend as they walked along, leading the others to Sugarcube Corner.
“For what?” Bonbon asked.
“Like them,” Lyra gestured to Thomas, Moonlight, and Talon. “Thomas is the earth pony and Talon is like the pegasus. They’re like a weird amalgamation of all three tribes and they seem happy together. Maybe we should get a herd like theirs.”
Bonbon’s ear twitched inquisitively. “Really? A stallion, or do you want another mare first?”
“Either or,” Lyra shrugged. “Maybe both. That might be fun.”
Wow. Thomas thought as he watched the two. Lyra just casually brings up the idea of bringing someone else into the relationship and Bonbon doesn’t seem jealous or remotely bothered in any way. This is just a normal thing for ponies in relationships to discuss. It’s like Lyra’s magazines were a bigger source of tension than the prospect of bringing in another mare or stallion. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t bother to remind them that they weren’t a herd.
The group prattled on like this for the remainder of their walk. Lyra and Talon caught up on all that had happened since Lyra left for Ponyville. Thomas tried to talk to Bonbon, but the mare seemed too intimidated to give anything but short, simple answers. Upon noticing her rather plump figure out on display for the world to see, Thomas’ own discomfort eventually led him to give up for now. Thankfully, Moonlight was there to put a hand on his shoulder to assure him with her presence.
“So Thomas,” Lyra called back from beside Talon. “There are other humans besides you, right? I mean, it’d be silly if you were the only one in the whole world.”
“Yeah… silly,” Thomas nodded as he remembered what he’d read in the paper, not wanting to divulge any more than what was absolutely necessary. “I’m afraid I don’t really remember how I got to Canterlot and I don’t know how to get back to my homeland.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Bonbon offered sympathetically. “It must be hard being alone and away from your people.”
“I might be away from my people, but I’m hardly alone. This one’s assigned to me and I can’t keep this one away,” Thomas assured her as he indicated Moonlight and Talon respectively. “Between them and Lu… the Princess,” he corrected, trying to remember public etiquette, “I haven’t been alone since I got here.”
“What’s the human country like? Machines are one thing, but I’ve been meaning to ask all day.” Lyra beamed.
“Here we are!” Bonbon announced as they arrived in front of the bakery, unknowingly saving Thomas. “Come on. The Cakes are really nice.”
“And the pastries ain’t bad either,” Lyra joked to the confusion of Talon and Moonlight, but not Thomas.
“Please ignore Lyra,” said Bonbon as she pushed the door open and beckoned them in. “One of her many delusions is that her jokes are funny.”
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner,” greeted a mustard orange lanky stallion from behind the counter. He wore a baker’s hat and an apron and smiled welcomingly at the new customers. “My name is Carrot Cake, but most ponies call me Mr. Cake. What can I do for you this fine day?” he waved his arms out to indicate the whole of the bakery. The walls were lined with baked goods of every size, shape, and color imaginable. The smell of fresh sugar was intoxicating.
However, Thomas found himself focusing on the stallion’s apron. The counter hid everything below his stomach, but something deep down told the human that Carrot Cake wasn’t wearing anything else apart from the hat and apron. This led Thomas to imagine those sexy aprons women wore to look erotic in anime and manga, those pieces of cloth that barely covered the front and nothing else. In turn, this almost led him to imagining how Luna would look in such an apron, but then he remembered the conversation back in the alley and decided to put such thoughts aside.
“We’re all entitled to our delusions,” Lyra shrugged, ignoring Mr. Cake. “I think I’m funny, and you think all those spare candies don’t go straight to your flanks.”
It was Bonbon’s turn to scrunch her face as literal steam rose from her head. “Why you…”
Mr. Cake rolled his eyes at the familiar sight of the pair arguing and turned his attention to the faces that weren’t familiar. “I see you three have already met Bonbon. I’m certain one of our former top chefs has told you we have the finest baked goods in all Ponyville.”
“She didn’t need to,” Talon stepped up and leaned against the counter. “The smell of this place is all the advertising you need.”
“If only it were that easy, but I’m happy you think so,” Mr. Cake smiled warmly, apparently unfazed by the griffon’s presence. “We’ve got some lovely muffins on special today. But since it's closer to lunch, maybe you’d like some sweet bread?” he indicated the shelves to his left.
“Bread sounds good,” Talon nodded, glancing at her companions behind her. “We’ll have five of the honey loaves. I’ll buy.”
“Hold on a second,” Thomas stepped forward.
“Very good,” Mr. Cake turned his head. “Pinkie! Our guests would like five of the honey loaves,” he called, but no response came. “Pinkie? Please hold on a second.” He said as he walked to the back room, revealing that he wore no pants as his orange tail thankfully hid most of his rump.
“What was that about you buying?” Thomas asked.
Talon tilted her head. “I really don’t know how many other ways there are to take that.”
Thomas furrowed his brow. “I just paid you back. Look, I’ll buy mine and you buy yours.”
“I didn’t bring any bits,” Moonlight spoke up.
“Oh calm down, will ya,” Talon waved them off. “I’m the one taking you guys out, so it’s only right I buy. This is my treat. No debt this time. Promise.”
“Fine,” Thomas agreed.
“Sorry,” Mr. Cake emerged from the back room, carrying five loaves of bread. “I forgot our assistant chef stepped out for her break. That was just the five loaves, right?” he asked as he set the bread on the counter.
“That’s right,” Talon confirmed, dipping into her bit bag and handing over a few coins. “And we’ll wash them down with some milkshakes.”
“Isn’t that the bag you gave her earlier?” Moonlight whispered.
“Yeah,” Thomas realized. “How did she pull that out without us noticing?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Talon smirked, bouncing her eyebrows suggestively as she held out her purchase.
“I think I’m good, thanks,” Thomas said flatly. “So we really don’t owe you for this, right?”
“Oh come on, chimp. You know you can trust me, right?”
After exchanging a wary glance with Moonlight, Thomas nodded. “Sure. But first, where’s the bathroom in this place?”
“It’s right over there,” Mr. Cake pointed to a door behind the counter.
“Appreciated,” Thomas nodded before heading over, all the while trying to ignore the whispers of the other ponies as Moonlight followed close behind. “Is this really necessary?” Thomas asked as he opened the door and lingered just outside.
“I’m your body guard,” Moonlight said firmly. “And it’s not like I go in the stall with you.”
“That’s because I asked you not to,” Thomas snapped, only to recoil when he saw Moonlight’s ears flatten against her head.
“I… I’m sorry,” Moonlight said, doing her best to keep her head held high. “I just… I just don’t want to fail you again, Sir.”
Oh twist my arm, why don’t ya! “Just… just stay outside the stall. Alright?”
Moonlight perked up. “Yes sir.”
The restroom was mixed, probably because a shop this size couldn’t afford two. Once inside, Thomas closed the stall door and took his seat. “I… I’m not mad at you, you know.”
“Sir?”
“Back when Lyra tackled me. I’m not mad.”
“It was still a failure on my part, Sir,” Moonlight said adamantly. “A guard is supposed to be vigilant at all times. I should have seen her coming. I should have reacted quicker when I saw what she was doing to you.”
“In all fairness, I’m a little used to being sat on by now,” Thomas admitted with a light chuckle.
“That’s not the point!” Moonlight countered, her voice betraying the sadness she felt. “I… I’m worried.”
“About what?”
Moonlight cursed herself for even thinking of sharing this with Thomas of all people. Discussing reassignment with one’s charge was never a good idea. “I fear that I have become far too lax in my duties as of late. I…”
“I’m glad you didn’t,” Thomas cut in. “You know, blast her.” It’s bad enough she feels like she failed. Who know how much worse it would have been if someone actually got hurt?
“Sir Thomas?”
“I could see it in your eyes,” Thomas confessed. “You were about to unleash a serious spell on her. It wouldn’t have been great for a guard to attack a civilian like that, even if you were just doing your job. Police back home get suspended for stuff like that. What about here?”
“We… it’s the same, I suppose,” Moonlight admitted. “Suspension, followed by an investigation.” She chuckled. “Come to think of it, a guard attacking an unarmed civilian like that, even if in the line of duty… you’re probably right how bad it’d look.”
“You were keeping an eye on me the entire time,” Thomas assured. “Just… just try not to let any more ponies sit on me, and we’ll call it even.”
Still standing outside the stall, Moonlight beamed at herself in the mirror. “I think I can manage that. Thank you, Sir Thomas.”
“While we’re at it, can you drop the ‘Sir’ already? It still feels weird.”
“As you say… Sir Thomas.”
Though there was a door between them, Thomas swore he could see the smirk on the unicorn’s face. Hopefully she’d be able to feel his glare just as easily. With that done, the human finished his business, washed his hands, and returned to the others.
**********
Exiting the bakery, Talon handed Thomas one roll and Moonlight two as they sat at a nearby table. Lyra and Bonbon bought their own treats and ate with them at one of the tables outside.
“Why do you only get one loaf?” Bonbon asked. “I thought you were all together.”
“Chimp here’s on the small side,” Talon explained as she swallowed a large bite. “He doesn’t need quite as much to keep that little body moving.” She smiled as she met Thomas’ glare. “What? It was a compliment. You eat so little and yet you still manage to make a Princess smile. That right there is some impressive efficiency we should all aspire to.”
Moonlight and Bonbon choked on their food while Lyra snickered and Thomas sank into his seat.
“So you said you wanted to see multiple friends,” Thomas interjected. “Lyra’s one of them, so who else are we going to meet?”
“Hmm,” Talon stroked the bottom of her beak. “The only other one who’d be in Ponyville right now would be… ya know what, I think I’ll make it a surprise. Yo, Lyra.”
The unicorn’s ears stood at attention.
“You remember that one mare you used to kinda-sorta hang out with; the anti-social one with the bangs? You know where she lives?”
“Oh yeah!” Lyra cheered. “We don’t really talk anymore, but I hear she’s really come out of her shell. She lives over at the library.”
Thomas tried to keep his face stern as he listened to the unicorn and griffon’s amusing attempt not to mention none other than the Element of Magic, Twilight Sparkle. They didn’t know that he knew, and they weren’t supposed to, but it was still entertaining how they were trying to keep the secret, obviously excited about the big reveal.
“I was hoping we could meet the bearers of the Elements of Harmony,” Moonlight piped up. “It’d be quite the treat to meet modern day heroes.”
“Heroes?” Bonbon pondered. “I never really thought of them like that. I mean, they’ve done some pretty amazing things, but they’re just regular ponies like you and me. They’re really…” Bonbon stopped as she went wide eyed.
The three companions followed her gaze until they saw a pink pony with cotton candy hair, balloons on her flank, and balloons tied to her waist lifting her off the ground as she propelled herself forward by swimming like a frog. She wore a cheery smile and nothing else, her legs repeatedly parting and breasts bouncing with each movement. Even at this distance, Thomas got a good look at her figure. Like most earth ponies, she was quite a bit larger than most. In contrast to the more lean and muscled bodies he’d grown accustomed to at the castle, this one looked just shy of being overweight, no doubt from an appreciation for sweets. Her pudge was not unattractive though, with most of the weight in her breasts, butt, and thighs. It made her body look as soft and fluffy as her mane and tail. Even her pubic hair was poofy.
“I stand corrected,” Bonbon said flatly. “Maybe they’re not that regular.”
“Hey Pinkie!” Lyra waved at the pink pony who snapped to attention as Lyra gestured to the three newcomers. “New friends,” she said in a manner similar to how one would say ‘come and get it’.
In the literal blink of an eye, the pink pony closed the distance with the group at the table and began bouncing excitedly. “Oh oh oh oh oooooh!” she cheered ecstatically, her fluffy fluff bouncing around more than her breasts. “New friends. I love new friends! Oh. We should totally throw a super fantastic party to celebrate our new friends in Ponyville.”
“I’ve never been one to turn down a free party,” Talon shrugged and extended a claw. “Name’s Talon. Nice to meet you.”
“My name’s Pinkie Pie and it’s great to meet you too, Talon,” the pink pony answered, reaching out with both hands and shook the griffon’s claw rather forcefully. When she let go, Talon looked a bit dizzy, but quickly rebound.
“Wow,” Talon awed. “Been a while since anyone was able to out-shake me before. You’re alright by me, Pinkie.”
“You’re alright by me too. You’re alright anywhere. It’s nice to meet a griffon who’s not a total meanie pants.”
“I’ll bet,” Talon nodded before gesturing to the others. “And these are my buds. Over here is Moonlight Shield.”
“Pleasure,” Moonlight tilted her head in a bow.
“Pleasure’s all mine,” Pinkie’s smile widened. “I just love-love-love meeting new friends and making them smile.” At that, Moonlight’s stern façade broke and she cupped her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. “See. Like that. You just made my day.”
Talon nodded, apparently approving of Pinkie’s outlook on life. “And this here is Thomas.”
Pinkie turned to face the human. “Hi there, Thom… mas?” But then she went quiet. Slowly her smile began to fade into a ponderous frown. “Hmm. You look familiar. Have we met?”
“I can’t say that we have,” Thomas shook his head. “But I’ve heard a bit about you. You’re one of the Elements of Harmony, right?” He asked, hoping to be able to make idle conversation with one of the mane six.
“No.” Pinkie seemed to ignore his question as she shook her finger at him. “That face… I swear I’ve seen it somewhere before.”
“It was in the papers a little bit ago,” Moonlight offered. “Do you read the Canterlot Canter?”
Pinkie Pie snapped her fingers. “That’s it. Now I remember.” She bounced up and down in celebration. If she’d put more force into it, her heavy tits might have been able to do more than just jiggle. That they barely bounced was either a testament to the mare’s love of sweets, the pony magic of gravity defying hair and bodies, or just whatever you called whatever Pinkie Pie was. Alas, philosophical ponderings of anthro pony boobies would have to wait as Pinkie’s eyes widened in shock. The gleeful grin vanished. In its place grew a look of utter horror, the likes of which hadn’t been seen since Sugarcube Corner ran out of sugar. Her lip quivered in fear as she cautiously took several steps back.
“Hey,” Thomas waved meekly, but flinched Pinkie threw her hand over her mouth to hide her gasp. Sensing the sudden tension, Moonlight pushed her seat back, ready to stand and act at a moment’s notice.
“Um, Pinkie?” Bonbon reached out, only for the other earth pony to jump back several feet.
“Monster!” Pinkie squealed as she pointed accusingly at Thomas, making his heart go into panicked overtime. “Aliens from beyond the veil. Run for your lives! Ahhhhhhhhh!”
She tried her hardest to run away, but the balloons had once again lifted her off the ground. Her legs flailed about in vain as her body lazily flipped forward. It was all rather comical, especially as nearby ponies decided that Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie was worthy of their notice.
“Anypony want to panic with me?” She asked the nearby pedestrians after doing a full vertical 360. “No? Okay. Ahhhhhhhhhh!” She continued to spin as the balloons carried her away, leaving the five friends at the table dumbstruck, though Lyra and Bonbon soon recovered and got back to their milkshakes.
“What was that?” Moonlight asked sternly, still tense and ready to act.
Bonbon smiled with a mix of guilt and nervousness. “That was Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter.”
Moonlight did a double take on the still screaming earth pony. “That was the Element of Laughter?”
“She was the one the others ignored when she warned about the parasprites?” Talon pointed.
Lyra nodded solemnly, remembering the terror of that day and the trauma she’d suffered after one of the little buggers ate her cake, a single tear returning to her eye.
“I guess you won that one,” Moonlight said to Thomas in a bid to keep everyone calm.
“Won what one?”
“When you said that the others might not have taken her seriously because she’s a silly pony,” Moonlight reminded. “I don’t think I’d have taken her warning seriously either.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Lyra warned as she took drank the last of her milkshake. “Pinkie Pie might be a little… Pinkie, but you’d be surprised how often her predictions come true.”
All eyes fell on Thomas, making him exceedingly uncomfortable.
“Are you?” Bonbon began. “I mean…”
“That’s absurd,” Moonlight denied vehemently. “He might be alien in that he’s a foreigner, but that doesn’t make him an alien-alien, right?” she looked at Thomas, eyes pleading for him to deny the accusation.
“I don’t think it matters,” Talon wrapped her arm protectively around Thomas. “Who cares how he came here. After all, Princess Luna doesn’t seem to mind.”
Thomas smiled gratefully at the griffon, but noticed Bonbon whispering to Lyra, causing the unicorn’s ears to splay against her head.
“Sorry guys,” Bonbon apologized. “But, uh, I think we left the oven on. Come on Lyra.”
“But Bonnie,” Lyra whined.
“Not now,” Bonbon yanked on Lyra’s hand, pulling the smaller unicorn to her feet. “We can discuss it when we get home.” And they left.
Thomas sat in silence, too confused to speak though admittedly not as hurt as he felt he should be. The ponies I thought I was making friends with just walked away, looking at me like I’m some sort of monster. And they only did that because Pinkie Pie, somehow, figured out that I’m from another universe, maybe? My cover’s been blown, maybe. I need to tell Luna and Celestia. Thomas suddenly became acutely aware of every passing glance a pony sent his way, each one seeming to hold some air of fear and even hate behind it.
Her arm still locked around him, Talon shook Thomas loose from his thoughts. “Don’t pay them any mind,” she consoled. “If they believe stuff as stupid as that from obviously crazy ponies, they’re not worth worrying about. Understand?”
Thomas nodded, giving in to the urge press a little harder into Talon’s fur, taking comfort in the promise of protection her warmth offered. He didn’t see the look she gave Moonlight, but the unicorn quickly nodded and gave Thomas’ shoulder a light push, assuring him that she was here too. He nodded thankfully. The three rose from the table and walked off in no particular direction.
“Just one thing,” Talon said to Thomas and pointed a claw threateningly at his face. “If I find out you are some kind of evil alien invader, I’m gonna give you such a pinch. Got it?” She held that stern expression for as long as she could before her beak finally cracked into a smile, her joke relieving Thomas enough to smile too.
Without their guides, the human, griffon, and unicorn guard were left to wander the streets at their leisure.
“We could simply ask where the library is,” Moonlight suggested, her ears swiveling about anxiously. That last encounter hadn’t exactly been an attack, but it still left her charge feeling distressed, meaning she had failed twice in one day.
“But that takes away the fun of exploring,” Talon shot down the unicorn’s idea.
“I heard the library was built into a giant tree,” Thomas put forth. “Did you see any place like that?”
“Erm… no?” Talon denied unconvincingly.
Moonlight watched Thomas carefully. He’d been holding up better than she’d expected. Perhaps that discussion last night had bolstered him better than she’d expected? Regardless, something told her that he was most likely putting up a front, so she decided to abandon her post behind him and stepped forward until their arms were touching. When he noticed, she gave her best reassuring smile, which he returned with an appreciative one before looking back at Talon.
“For some reason, I don’t believe you,” Thomas said bluntly.
“Well I think we can both agree that that’s your fault, not mine,” Talon affirmed before taking off once again, only to immediately get knocked down by a rainbow colored missile and hit the ground with a mighty crash.
Thomas reflexively moved his arms in front of him to protect from the shock of the impact while Moonlight had quickly stepped between him and the blast. Her horn lit as a large shield of blue light, similar to the one on her cutie mark, materialized in front of her. “Are you alright?” she shouted towards the shield.
After realizing she was talking to him, he ran his hands over his body to quickly check if anything was out of place. “I think so,” he admitted with an air of relief. When the dust settled, Moonlight motioned for Thomas to stay back. Keeping the shield in front of her, she took several small steps forward until she could see inside the crater. There she found Talon entangled with her assailant, a cyan pegasus mare with a rainbow mane.
“Ow,” the griffon whined.
“Sorry about that,” the mare apologized as she stood, not noticing the magical shield above her. “I was trying a new trick and it kinda got out of hoof,” she reached down and offered her hand to Talon.
“No problem,” *cough* “I know how it goes.” Talon took the mare’s hand.
“Gilda!?” The mare exclaimed.
“Who?” Talon asked as she slapped the dirt off her feathers.
Hearing the familiar name spoken by a familiar gravely voice, Thomas dared to step forward. When she noticed, Moonlight put a hand over his chest to keep him from getting closer, wordlessly shaking her head. But through the blue tinted light shield, Thomas was able to see yet another pony he recognized.
“Sorry. You look like somepony I used to know,” the mare reflected mournfully.
“Was she hot?”
Once the initial shock wore off, the mare began to chuckle. “Ya know, you’re alright.”
“I’ve been called worse,” the griffon shrugged before extending her claw. “Name’s Talon, by the way.”
Thomas saw Moonlight glare into the crater. Seeing her friend act so casually with a mare who didn’t seem hostile, she wasn’t as tense as she had been a second ago. But clearly she was displeased with the way the griffon was handling this.
The mare took the claw in a hearty handshake. “Rainbow Dash! Fastest flyer in all Equestria. The pleasure is all yours.”
“Hey! That’s my line.” They shared a laugh. “It’s a good thing you added ‘flyer’ to that, otherwise it wouldn’t have been much to brag about.” The laughter returned, but louder than before.
“Sweet Celestia, not another one,” Moonlight groaned as the light shield faded away.
Talon led the way out of the crater. Once free of the dust cloud, Thomas got a much better look at the anthro pony embodiment of a pride flag. She was only slightly taller than he was, which made her fairly short by pony standards. Pegasi were the smallest of the tribes since their bodies were built more for speed. Rainbow Dash epitomized this trend with her lean, athletically toned body and small breasts. Her multi-colored mane was frazzled and looked like it hadn’t seen a brush in ages, which made sense if the speedster’s depiction in the show was any indication. As if to emphasize this point, both griffon and Pegasus gracelessly shook their bodies like dogs to expel the excess dirt. Oddly, the only part of her that seemed well groomed, aside from her muscles, was her rainbow pubic hair shaved into a lightning bolt.
Why? Just… why?
“Anyway, these here are my friends. Moonlight and Thomas,” Talon gestured respectively, though she watched the Pegasus carefully for her reaction.
“Wow,” Rainbow nodded approvingly as she eyed the human up past the still wary unicorn guard. “Thomas, you say? That’s an odd name for such a cute filly.”
“Ugh!” Thomas groaned. “Why does everyone keep thinking I’m female? I mean seriously. I thought you ponies could at least smell the difference.” He was understandably annoyed, but at the same time relieved that this meeting had started out a lot better than the last two. At the very least he wasn’t being attacked.
“You’re a dude?” Rainbow tilted her head as her eyes followed the same path across his body. “Meh. You’re still pretty cute for a… what are you exactly?”
“Human,” Thomas said flatly.
“Human? As in those things Lyra keeps ranting about?” Thomas nodded. “Guess I owe her an apology.” Rainbow then looked to the less than pleased looking pony still standing in front of Thomas. “Moonlight, right?”
Moonlight nodded. “Private First Class Moonlight Shield of Princess Luna’s House Guard,” she declared proudly, hoping to intimidate the other mare with her title. It didn’t work.
“Cool,” Rainbow shrugged, “Anyway, what brings you guys to Ponyville?”
“We were looking for the pony who lives in the library,” Moonlight spoke up, regarding Rainbow much more softly then she had with the last three mares. “Do you know where that is?”
“You looking for Twilight?” Rainbow asked.
“You know her?” Talon cocked her head.
“Know her? Me and Twilight are the best of friends. We single hoofedly saved all Equestria from certain doom! Well, we and four others, but it was still awesome. And I got some sweet bling out of it,” Rainbow set her hands on her hips proudly.
“Certain doom, huh?” Talon nodded skeptically. “That’s nice and all, but I saved Princess Celestia’s very life.”
“What? No way.”
Great. Thomas groaned internally. Another tangent.
“Yes way. In fact, Sunbutt was so enthralled by my heroism that when I recovered from my harrowing task, she invited me to her royal harem,” Talon waved her claw down to her loincloth. “And now, I get to call her Sunbutt and you don’t.”
Rainbow Dash’s jaw looked like it was ready to fall from her face.
“You think that’s something? You should hear the whole story.” Talon proceeded to regale her audience with the full tale of how she had saved Celestia.
“That’s so… awesome!” Rainbow cheered. “You were in the RGR and now you sleep with the Princess. I mean… you’re… wow! You’re like the coolest griffon in all Equestria.”
“Oh stop. Stop,” Talon held out her claw, but was clearly enjoying being showered in praise.
“Ya know,” Rainbow composed herself and stared casually at her nails. “That’s neat and all, but I bet you’ve never flown fast enough to cause a sonic rainboom.”
“The sonic rainboom?” Talon cocked an eyebrow.
“What’s a sonic rainboom?” Moonlight asked, remaining vigilant but much more relaxed.
“It was all over the papers about a decade ago,” Talon explained as she looked more intently at Rainbow. “A little blank flank filly in Cloudsdale was just having a little race with her friends when suddenly she broke the sound barrier and let loose a shockwave of rainbows. That was you?”
Rainbow tilted her body to show off her cutie mark. “None other.”
“Starswirl’s secret sex dungeon!” Talon cheered as she slapped Rainbow across the back. “The coolest griffon in all Equestria meets the coolest pegasus. We were destined to fly together.”
“I’m up for a race any time you are,” Rainbow answered boastfully. “Just not now. I, uh, promised to hang out with another friend today and she doesn’t really care for racing.”
“No worries,” Talon waved her claw. “My bummed wing keeps me from flying as fast as I used to anyway. I’m certain we could find something else we could all enjoy. I can be very… flexible,” her eyebrows danced suggestively.
“Oh? Oh. Ooooh!” Rainbow finally caught on to the griffon’s meaning, her cheeks turning red.
“Do you seriously have to flirt with every pony you meet?” Moonlight asked.
“Do I have to? No. But I really really like to,” Talon smirked.
Moonlight glared silently at the griffon, but a bump of her arm from Thomas’ shoulder eroded the last remnants of her tenseness. She was annoyed, but a much more relaxed sort of annoyed.
“Yeah,” Talon shrugged uncomfortably. “I guess we got off on a bit of a tangent there. So, enough about the coolest griffon in Equestria for now, Rainbow. Moonlight here, like she said, is a member of Princess Luna’s House Guard. She’s been give the special assignment of protecting her Senior Concubine.”
Thomas froze at the mention as Rainbow turned her attention back to him. “Are you… really?”
Shrinking under her piercing gaze, Thomas shrugged “yeah?”
Remembering the mythical creature standing less than a meter away, Rainbow took to the air, hovering right in Thomas’ face as she assailed him with a torrent of questions about where he came from and what Luna was like, ignoring the guard’s efforts to ward her off with only a stern glare.
“Wo, now,” Talon yanked on Rainbow’s tail. “The little guy startles easily.”
“No worries,” Rainbow assured, still hovering. “That friend I told you about. She’s the same way. Shy is literally in her name. I found the best approach for ponies like that is ta stick by their side and give em a good push outside their little box.”
Talon nodded approvingly. “Great minds think alike. Though I kinda slip up a lot and say things that upset him when he doesn’t know that I’m just fooling,” she added, offering Thomas a sideways apologetic glance.
“Speak of the anti-Faust. There she is,” Rainbow pointed.
Talon followed the mare’s directions, only to limply release Rainbow’s tail as her shoulders slumped in awe. She was a yellow cream-colored mare with a swirly pink mane. Despite being a pegasus, she was as large as an earth pony with massive breasts and a lusciously round figure, something Thomas had come to learn was the standard of beauty for mares, though this one seemed to surpass that. Even a quick glance up at Moonlight showed the unicorn was stunned by the other mare’s beauty. She surveyed the crowd nervously until perking up at the sight of Rainbow waving her over. “Hey Fluttershy. You’ll never guess who I met today.”
“R-really?” Fluttershy’s voice was practically a whisper in its softness, but still had a musically feminine quality to it. “Who?” As she approached, the difference between small but boisterous speedster and large yet bashful animal care taker was almost comical.
“Over here we have…” Rainbow began, only to barely jump out of the way as Flutershy stampeded forward, grabbing Thomas from his position behind Moonlight and pulling him between her titanic titties.
“Oh my goodness,” she squealed as she spun with Thomas pressed firmly into her flesh mounds. “You’re the most adorable little thing I’ve ever seen. What’s your name little guy?” She asked as she crouched down and set Thomas back on the grass, not noticing how Moonlight had retaken her aggressive stance and relit her horn as she reached out to grab him.
“I-it’s alright, Moonlight.” Thomas assured the guard quickly. “I don’t think she means any harm.”
Moonlight’s answer was to levitate Thomas in her magic out of Fluttershy’s grip until he was standing directly in front of the unicorn where she put her hands firmly on his shoulders, This seemed enough to calm Fluttershy down as the Pegasus began fumbling her fingers nervously.
“Anyway,” Thomas continued in the hopes of breaking the newfound tension. “You can tell I’m a guy?” A flushed Thomas asked. Damn, her boobs felt nice.
“Well of course I can, silly,” she laughed cheerfully. “My name’s Fluttershy, by the way.”
“That’s pretty amazing,” Thomas cheered gratefully, wondering if his sudden enthusiasm came from appreciation of being recognized as male or if the Princess-grade pony boobies poking at his chest earlier were having an effect on him. “I’m Thomas, and you’re one of the only ponies to figure that out just by looking. Please, tell me how you did that?”
“Well,” Fluttershy blushed. “It wasn’t all by looking,” she glanced down.
Thomas followed her line of sight and quickly crouched down, covering his hands over his groin.
“Aww,” Fluttershy cooed. “I’ve never seen a Thomas before, but you really are just the cutest little thing.”
“Sir Thomas is not a thing,” Moonlight corrected sternly, bringing the Pegasus back to reality. “He is a member of the royal night court and deserves the due respect of his station.”
“Oh. Oh my,” Fluttershy whispered as she stepped up to Thomas, but a quick glare from Moonlight made her hesitate. However, the yellow Pegasus pressed on, her concern for adorable critters overwriting any sense of worry. “I’m so sorry if I surprised you, little guy. I just get so excited when I meet new animal friends.”
“He’s not an animal either,” Moonlight snorted, stepping up until her chest armor was pressed into Thomas’ back.
“I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it,” Thomas defended. “This is Moonlight Shield, by the way. She’s my body guard.”
“Right,” Rainbow nodded. “And over here we have…” Rainbow was once again knocked aside by a larger flyer.
Talon stepped forward. “Well hello there,” she greeted in a sultry tone. Though she made no other sudden or boastful movements, the yellow mare, who was a couple inches taller, still froze.
“Oh. Um, hello,” the yellow mare greeted sheepishly, ears splayed in a sign of meekness. “M-my name is F-”
“Fluttershy,” Talon cut her off breathlessly, forcing the larger mare to squeak in fright. “Sorry,” she rubbed the back of her head awkwardly.
“Oh no. It’s alright. You don’t need to-”
“I do!” Even Talon recoiled at her own volume. “I mean, ugh. Sorry. My name’s Talon and I, uh, don’t usually have this problem.”
The others watched the scene in silent fascination as the griffon who, not a few minutes ago, was proclaiming herself to be the coolest in all Equestria, had suddenly become a mirror of the shy pony she was talking to.
“No need to apologize,” Fluttershy assured. “I have this problem all the time.”
“You trip over yourself whenever you meet a beautiful mare for the first time too?” Talon grinned, hopeful that her comment wasn’t as awkward as she feared.
“Wow,” Rainbow deadpanned. “That may have been the cheesiest thing I’ve heard all week.”
“Shh!” Moonlight hushed the cyan mare, giving her a ‘don’t you dare’ look.
“B-b-beautiful?” Fluttershy stuttered as her ears shot up. She absentmindedly ran her fingers through her mane, blushing the entire time. “N-no o-one’s ever called me b-b-that before.”
“Now I find that hard to believe,” Talon smiled gently, cautiously closing the distance between them. “You mean to tell me you weren’t the most popular filly at school, colts and fillies throwing themselves at you just for a date?”
Fluttershy’s cheeks turned a brighter shade of red as she fiddled with her mane with greater vigor. “N-not really.”
Still hovering, Rainbow leaned down and whispered between Moonlight and Thomas. “She was totally the cutest filly in school. But a few mean words from the local idiots and she basically shut down whenever somepony worked up the nerve to ask her out. I tried to help, but she was convinced they were all just making fun of her. Eventually, the offers just stopped. She wouldn’t even let me be her date to the dances.”
Now that right there is the Element of Loyalty. Thomas thought approvingly, not making comparison between Fluttershy’s life and his own.
“Well then,” Talon took another step forward and gently brushed Fluttershy’s mane out of her eyes. “Perhaps we should remedy that.”
“R-remedy?”
Talon reached into the tuft of feathers above her chest and pulled out a pencil and note pad. “This is my address,” she explained as she scribbled away. “It doesn’t seem like either of us are free right now, and my schedule can be pretty inconsistent.” She tore the paper and handed it to the meek pegasus, along with the pencil and pad. “Write me some time and we can set up a time to meet.”
Staring nervously between the griffon and the materials that had been shoved in her hands, Fluttershy let out an unintelligible squeak.
“Hold on,” Rainbow called as she swooped in and pulled Fluttershy away by the shoulder. “Give us a few.”
While the pegasus members of the mane six whispered, Thomas approached the griffon. She looked to be in a trance, mesmerized by the yellow mare. Cautiously, he tapped Talon’s elbow.
“What!?” Talon jumped. “What happened? What’d I miss?”
Thomas recoiled in surprise. “Did you just black out or something?”
“I’ve never seen you act like that,” Moonlight added, unable to hold back her smile. “It was rather sweet.”
“Act like what?” Talon quickly surveyed the area until she found Fluttershy talking with Rainbow Dash. A look of horror donned on her face. “Oh no. Oh-no-oh-no-oh-no. Don’t tell me I just proposed!”
“Wo now,” Thomas waved his hands. “Calm down. You just asked her to write you.”
“Really? That’s all?” Talon asked nervously, to which Thomas nodded. “Oh thank Celestia,” she sighed in relief. “I was worried I’d proposed… again.”
“You want to back track a little, because I’m not following,” Moonlight frowned.
“Riiiiight…” Talon trailed off. “Well, that’s kinda a personal thing. You want the long version or the short version?”
“What’s the short?” Moonlight asked.
“I’m a hopeless letch who jumps into relationships without thinking?”
Thomas exchanged a look of confusion with Moonlight. “And the long?”
Talon quickly glaned over at Fluttershy. “I’ve always had a thing for… that kind of body. Big females with wings. In fact, she could be the spitting image of my first wife.”
“Wife?” Thomas asked. “Oh yeah. I guess you’re into females too.”
“I ain’t bent,” Talon protested. “But that’s kind of my other problem. I used to jump into relationships after one or two good ruts without much thought to the important stuff. That’s how I ended up with two ex-wives and an ex-husband.” Talon blushed as she resumed rubbing the back of her head. “I really did love them, but… I’m also a bit of a hopeless flirt, batting my eyes and even presenting my tail to anypony, or griffon, that’d give me the time of day.”
“You cheated?” Thomas asked.
“No! Well, not really, but it’s not something I’m proud of either,” Talon lowered her head shamefully. “The Griffon Kingdom is a lot more stoic and we don’t have much in the way of couple’s counseling. I flirted outside the relationship, which is just as bad as cheating for griffons, so I was out. I kept telling myself that this time would be different, but it never was. I’d all but given up on finding my, as you guys say, very special somepony until that day ten years ago. Heh,” she shrugged. “Turns out, all I needed was an enabler.”
Thomas looked back at the griffon in confusion. She was opening up to him and, much to his surprise, something told him he’d best handle this delicately. “I’m still getting the hang of this stuff, so what exactly kind of relationship do you have with Celestia?”
“A pretty awesome one, but I think open is the word you’re looking for,” Talon informed. “Celestia knows who I am and what I’m like, but she likes me regardless. It doesn’t hurt that ponies are a lot more open about this stuff, too. She’s like the port to my ship,” the griffon explained dreamily. “No matter where the winds or waves carry me, she knows I’ll always return to her. She loves me for me, stupid urges and all, and I love her right back.” She sighed. “I couldn’t imagine ever finding love again if I had to leave the harem.”
Thomas glanced over at the pegasi, then back to Talon. “So all those mares you’ve been having me kiss…”
Talon nodded. “Drinking buddies, mostly. Sometimes we’d have one too many and wake up in bed together. I was clear that I didn’t want to be anything more than that, and they were mostly fine with that. Nothing wrong with the single crowd hooking up from time to time, right?”
“I suppose,” Moonlight nodded along. Pony relationships were a lot more fluid and liberal than griffon ones. “Tali. If you say you didn’t cheat, then you didn’t cheat,” she added firmly, causing the griffon to beam with gratitude at her friend’s acceptance.
“So what was that with Fluttershy just now?” Thomas inquired.
Talon glanced over at the pegasi, her feathers flushing as she smiled longingly. “I guess she just triggered something in me. She’s easily the hottest mare I’ve seen outside the Princesses. And don’t tell me you wouldn’t tap that if you had the chance.”
“I’m still getting used to the idea of this whole harem thing,” Thomas groaned. “Kissing other mares is one thing, but actually sleeping with them is just… I don’t know.”
Talon straightened up and put on her serious face. “We’ve had this talk before, chimp. Harems aren’t exclusive. They’re like I said, open relationships, but also like a herd. I share Celestia with other ponies just like she shares me. It’s fine because we always come back to each other.”
“I know. I know,” Thomas grumbled. “Sun Dancer pretty much said as much.”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash hollered as she approached, dragging her friend by the hand. Talon froze at the sight of the incoming yellow pegasus. “Fluttershy,” Rainbow began soberly. “The nice griffon, who used to be in the RGR and now works as Celestia’s concubine, gave you her mailing address so you can write her. What do you say?”
Fluttershy nervously stroked her hands through her mane before offering the pencil and note pad back to Talon, a new address written on the front page. “Um, thank you for the offer,” she averted her gaze as she mumbled. “I’d l-l-love it if we could write each other.”
The instant Talon took the pencil and note pad from the shy pegasus, she bolted off at a speed that even left her speedster friend impressed.
“Um,” Rainbow glanced between Talon and the smoke trail Fluttershy had left behind. “I kinda gotta go take care of this,” she explained as she began flying away. “Look me up next time you’re in town.”
“You got it,” Talon saluted as the Pegasus fled from sight. Turning to her companions, she grinned as she waved the note pad teasingly at them. “Looks like I got me a new pen pal.”
“Hey, look over there,” Talon pointed at the gathering of ponies up ahead. “What do you suppose they’re all excited about?”
“Couldn’t say,” Thomas shrugged.
“Maybe we can find this friend of yours there,” Moonlight suggested as her hand remained planted firmly on the human’s shoulder. In addition to her failure earlier, it seemed as though Ponyville wasn’t nearly as safe as she’d expected.
“Worth a shot,” Thomas agreed, doing his best to ignore the unicorn’s grip.
“Cool.”
By the time they arrived, they were quite firmly at the back of the crowd, at least until more ponies arrived and sealed them in. Talon and Moonlight, sensing Thomas’ distress, moved to either side of him, but that only increased his sudden onset of claustrophobia. He was a sardine in a can of naked mares packed tightly together. Round rumps in front, breasts behind, and the occasional penis all added up to one very uncomfortable human. And on top of everything else, the greater height of the ponies left him unable to see anything.
Without warning, the ground left Thomas behind as he was lifted into the air. When he regained his bearings, he was sitting atop Talon’s shoulders like a little kid with a parent or older sibling. The griffon smiled up at him as she held firmly onto his ankles.
“Better?”
After giving a worried Moonlight an assuring nod, Thomas surveyed the crowd from his new position. A sea of candy colored anthro horses like a bag of skittles stretched out until they suddenly stopped at the foot of a large wooden box. “Much. Thanks.”
Then the box spoke as it opened up into a stage. “Come one! Come all. Come and witness the amazing magic of the great and powerful Trixie!” The stage burst in a cloud of smoke which quickly dissipated to reveal a blue unicorn with a star studded cape and wizard’s hat.
“No freaking way,” Thomas muttered to himself as he watched the scene from the episode unfold.
Trixie boasted, demonstrating a few tricks to get the audience excited, until a few ponies in the front row began heckling her. She offered to meet their challenge. The first up was an orange earth mare with a blonde mane and cowboy hat as her only attire. She did a few rope tricks, using the rope that had somehow materialized out of nowhere, until Trixie turned the ropes against her. Then a most elegant white unicorn with a purple mane stepped forward, reshaping the stage’s curtains into a rather lovely dress. She left the stage in tears when Trixie turned her hair green. Thomas figured Rainbow Dash’s absence was because she was still off with Fluttershy.
“Not a bad show,” Moonlight chuckled as Rarity fled from sight. “Do you think those ponies were part of the act? Is this some comedy show and they are all actors?”
Talon shrugged, “Could be, but I doubt it. I think she’s the sort of pony who likes provoking her hecklers into challenging her so she can show them up. Look at the cutie mark,” she gestured. “She’s a magic specialist. Probably went to school for years on a scholarship or something and now she just goes from town to town bragging about how much better she is at stuff.”
“You’re not far off,” Thomas mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
The show went on for nearly a half an hour as Trixie continued to invite her hecklers to challenge her greatness, only to spank them with their own talents; one time literally as a pony with spanking for a cutie mark was bent over a magically conjured table and repeatedly smacked until his rump was red, which in all fairness was probably deserved. When there were no more hecklers, Trixie resumed her display of fireworks and demonstrations of things she’d supposedly done elsewhere.
When the show ended and the crowd dissipated, Thomas caught sight of a familiar purple reptile talking to a couple colts he wished had never been drawn. “Over there,” he pointed. “And you can put me down now.”
After putting him down, much to Moonlight’s relief, the trio arrived just as the two colts ran off. “Hey Spike,” Thomas greeted.
“What’s up, little drake,” Talon waved.
“Oh hey there, Talon,” the dragon happily returned the greeting, before squinting in confusion. “And, uh, Tamas, right?”
“It’s Thomas, actually,” he corrected as he studied the little dragon. Spike looked almost exactly as he did on the show with his big head and slightly pudgy body. He was a full head smaller than Thomas, making it somewhat hard for the human to pinpoint his age. His color scheme was exactly the same, though. Alas, like any other male in this clothing optional society, Spike’s junk was on full display, save for the fact that it was retracted within a sheath. “But it’s okay. We only met the once.”
“Still, a pleasure to meet you.” Spike extended his clawed hand.
“Likewise,” Thomas smiled and took the drake’s claw with a hearty shake. The young dragon’s innocent forthrightness, with absolutely no discernable sexual undercurrent, was a great relief.
“I just call him chimp. Way easier. And this here is Moonlight Shield. You can call her smarty-corn for short.”
“Pleasure,” Moonlight nodded as she also recognized the little dragon as a welcomed guest back at the castle some time ago.
“Nah,” Spike dismissed. “I’ve already got a smarty-corn of my own. It’d just get confusing.”
“Hah. I hear that,” Talon bumped fists with the little dragon. “We were actually just looking for Twilight. Know where we can find her?”
“Sure thing. After all, I am her number one assistant,” Spike puffed out his chest boastfully. “Maybe you guys can give her a good talking to. She seems a bit down on herself right now.”
Talon rolled her eyes. “Let me guess. She’s overthinking a simple problem and now she’s thought herself into a corner.”
“I’m not sure if she’s in the corner yet,” Spike frowned. “But she’s getting there.”
“Then let’s go,” Talon leaned down and pushed the little dragon ahead of her. “Lead the way little drake.”
As Thomas followed close behind, paying little mind to the griffon and dragon chatting, he couldn’t help but look around for the colts he recognized as Snips and Snails. They’re probably on their way to the ursa minor right now. Should I warn them? I mean, everything works out in the end. No one gets hurt and there’ll only be minor property damage, but there’s still something bugging me. What is it?
“You think that was bad?” Spike asked as he and Talon reflected over the times they’d seen Twilight freak out. “You should have seen her during the parasprite invasion. She actually wanted to build an identical replica of the whole town so the Princess wouldn’t know how badly she screwed up.”
Parasprites! Thomas realized. The parapsprite episode came after Boast Busters, not before. Which means… oh horse crap. They’re not following the script of the show! And if they’re going out of order, who knows what other things might be different. Maybe things don’t end happily for everyone after all. Thomas was jostled out of his internal panic as he walked into the shade of the library, feeling a little nostalgic relief at seeing how at least this place was the same as the show.
“Hey Twilight,” Spike called as he pushed the door open, revealing a legion of books stacked upon shelves built into the tree. “We’ve got visitors.”
Off in the corner of the library, a lone naked lavender unicorn sat at a table and hunched over a book. She gave no response.
“Uh, Twilight? Guests,” Spike motioned to the trio, but still Twilight didn’t move.
“Well,” Talon said as she sauntered along the book laden wall. “If a certain somepony’s not going to greet her guests, I suppose I could just maybe, possibly, pick a book at random and… bend the corner.”
And then Twilight evolved into Rapidash as she ran up to the griffon. “IF YOU LAY A HOOF ON A SINGLE BOOK IN MY LIBRARY, I WILL SHOW YOU THE MEANING OF HORROR AS I send you to… Miss Talon?”
“You know it,” smiled Talon, unfazed by the fiery pony in front of her. Though she did give a quick nod to Moonlight to drop the shield she just raised.
Twilight instantly simmered down and collapsed to the floor. “Sorry, Miss Talon,” she lowered her head guiltily.
“Cut the ‘Miss’ garbage,” the griffon chided. “Name’s Talon, Concubine of Celestia’s Royal Harem,” she held out her claw for dramatic emphasis. “And you will address me in a manner befitting my title.”
Twilight pulled herself up to her full height, allowing Thomas to get a full view of her figure. She was a lot closer to what he’d come to expect from Canterlot unicorns; average height, skinny figure, moderately sized breasts, and a surprisingly round backside. Even without glasses, she had a bookish cuteness about her. And without clothes, Thomas could see the pink streak that ran through her mane also went through her pubic hair… for some reason.
Scowling up at the griffon, Twilight flatly told her “For the last time, I’m not calling you ‘lady hot buns’.”
“Oh, please,” Talon begged humbly as Spike struggled to keep from snickering.
“No.”
“Some protégé you are,” Talon pouted. “Celestia calls me that whenever I want.”
Cheap shot. Thomas thought as Twilight’s lavender cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink. Turning her idealization of the Princess against her like that… that’s just low. As he thought that, Thomas couldn’t help but smile as he wished he could have done so first.
“Hold on a second,” Moonlight interjected. “Twilight Sparkle? As in Princess Celestia’s top student and personal protégé, Twilight Sparkle? Not to mention Captain Shining Armor’s younger sister, formerly foal sat by Pricness Cadence, and current bearer of the Element of Magic. That Twilight Sparkle!?”
“Um, yes?” Twilight shrugged sheepishly.
“How the hay do you know Twilight Sparkle!?” Moonlight shouted at Talon demandingly.
“Well,” Talon folded her arms smugly. “Unlike some ponies I could mention,” her gaze lingered on Thomas, “I actually go outside and talk to ponies. Plus Sparklebutt over here came to the castle to get personal lessons from Leste all the time, so we just ran into each other a bunch.”
“Sparklebutt?” Spike giggled. “I gotta remember that one for later. Oh, Talon. I didn’t tell you about Twilight Flopple. See, Twilight ran into these flowers called poison joke, and they made her horn look like a floppy…”
“Spike!” Twilight cut the dragon off. “That’ll be enough of that. Why don’t you fetch our guests some tea.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Spike saluted dutifully and ran off to the kitchen.
Flopple. Thomas thought as Twilight lead them to the table in the middle of the library where they all took their seats. After Boast Busters, but before Swarm of the Century.
“Talon,” Twilight smiled. “I admit, it is nice to see you again, but why are you here?”
“Oh. I was just stopping by to introduce you to a couple new friends of mine. Since you’ve finally got friends of your own, I figured you’d appreciate that sort of thing now.”
“Yeah, heh heh,” Twilight laughed uneasily. “Sorry for brushing you off all those times before. There was always just, ya know, one more book that I need to read and…”
Talon held up her claw to cut the unicorn off. “Apology accepted. But I think some good came out of it. See, unlike you,” she gestured back at Thomas, “this one actually listens to me and lets me help him open up. I took what I tried with you and reworked it a bit to work on him.”
Finally Twilight noticed the strange creature standing beside the unicorn guard, pupils widening in wonder. “What… is he?”
“Behold. Equestria’s one and only human, near as we can tell,” Talon held out arm in presentation. “You can call him Thomas and this is like the fourth freaking time I’ve introduced him today,” she huffed. “I ain’t doing it no more. From now on, you can introduce yourself.”
Twilight stepped forward, leaning in to examine the curiosity before her. Moonlight also stepped forward, allowing her mere presence to serve as a warning, which Twilight nodded to in acceptance before proceeding. Thomas, to his credit, didn’t back down as she ran her hands along his face, muttering to herself details about his appearance. However, he did stop her once her hands started exploring a little too far south.
“I just… I just can’t believe it. A real human in Equestria. I was a bit skeptical, but you really are just as Princess Luna described you. I guess I owe Lyra twenty bits. And you’re having trouble opening up to ponies, just like I was?”
“Yeah,” Thomas said, realizing that he hadn’t spoken since entering the tree house. It was not because he was star struck at meeting the main character of the show, now morphed into a very sexy young lady, but because he was busy imagining the probability of being struck by a bear-like monster made of stars. Then he came back to reality. “Luna described me?”
“In her letters, yes,” Twilight answered as she began circling the human.
“I think the little guy’s embarrassed at all the attention,” Talon pulled Twilight back gently. “But yes. I’ve been getting him to open up in pretty much every way except the legs. You can thank Princess Luna for that.”
The blush returned to Twilight’s cheeks. “Pardon?”
“The little chimp chose the same career path as yours truly,” Talon set her claws on her hips proudly. “'Cept he prefers tapping the royal lunar booty.”
“Y-you and P-P-Princess Luna…”
“Easy there, Twi,” Spike consoled, setting the tray of tea cups and sandwiches on the table before taking Twilight’s hand and stroking it gently. “It’s alright. Remember to breathe.”
Twilight did as instructed. “You’re right, Spike. We’re all adults here,” she took another deep breath. “We can be mature and talk about adult subjects with all the civility expected from adults.”
“Do I count as an adult?” Spike asked eagerly.
“Well dragons tend to mature a lot quicker than other creatures, so maybe,” Talon shrugged, only to shrink at the sudden attention. “Er, so I hear.”
“Wait,” Thomas held up his hand. “You said Luna’s been talking about me in her letters. She described what I look like, but didn’t mention our… relationship.”
Twilight gulped and lightly shook her head. “She said how much she liked spending time with you and how much fun she had when you were around, but I thought you were just friends. It never occurred to me that you two might have… that kind of relationship. Although, in retrospect, I probably should have picked up on the hints.”
Thomas couldn’t help but smile at Twilight’s recount of Luna’s opinions on him. Somehow the words expressed to a third party seemed more real, and it made him swell with pride.
“Sparklebutt’s right,” Talon nodded. “There’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to talk about all the times I’ve buried my beak in Leste’s glorious plot, smacking those jiggling orbs as I-yow!” Talon screeched. Her wings flared in anger as she turned around to see the unicorn guard holding her feline tail in a death grip.
“There are minors present,” Moonlight scolded.
Talon turned to see Twilight pressing her hands firmly against the innocent Spike’s ears. “Oh. Sorry.”
Twilight leered at the griffon a moment longer before feeling confident to free a very unamused looking Spike from her grasp. “You haven’t changed one bit.”
“Can’t change what’s already perfect,” Talon scoffed.
Twilight snorted. “Spike. Why don’t you go upstairs and catch up on your comics or something? I don’t trust this one,” she pointed, “not to try something like that again.”
“Fine,” Spike rolled his eyes as he left for the stairs. “If it makes you feel more adult to send your little brother to his room, so be it. Not like I didn’t hear worse from the old servants anyway,” he grumbled.
“Spike!” And the little dragon ran off giggling as Twilight returned her attention to the human. “So, Thomas was it? You and Princess Luna?”
“Yeah,” he perked up. “She’s pretty great.”
“Well…” Twilight flushed as she took a sip of tea. “I am happy that you two have found each other, but I would love to know more about you.”
“Trying a little hard there, Sparklebutt.”
“Stop calling me that!”
“Stop having a stick up your book worm butt,” Talon leered teasingly, causing her adversary to once again catch flame.
“There was an article in the Canterlot Canter a while ago,” Thomas interjected in the hopes of keeping things from getting physical, or, knowing Talon, physical. “It explained a lot of the basics.”
“The Canterlot Canter?” Twilight wondered. “Oh right. I remember now. I can’t believe that slipped my mind,” she laughed awkwardly. “Silly me. If it’s not in a book, sometimes I don’t remember it so well.”
“So I guess we can skip everything they said,” Thomas smiled happily at how cute Twilight looked as an awkward book worm.
“Right,” Twilight bobbed her head and pulled out a note pad as a glowing quill hovered overhead. “In that case, we can move on to the more advanced questions. Let’s start with something simple. As Senior Concubine to Princess Luna, I understand you cannot share the more… intimate details of your relationship. However, can you comment on your performance abilities compared to the average stallion?”
“No,” Thomas deadpanned. At hearing the griffon chuckle, Thomas beamed back at the future Princess. “Did you grill Tali like this the first time you met?”
Talon’s beak grinned all the wider while Twilight flushed. Neither answered for some time.
“I think we can take that as a ‘yes’,” Moonlight commented dryly.
“I’m sorry,” Twilight gasped. “Sometimes I say things without regard for pony’s personal boundaries.”
“I didn’t think ponies acknowledged those,” Thomas said sarcastically.
“Beh,” Talon dismissed. “Boundaries are overrated. Although it was pretty awkward for a little filly to ask a question like that.”
“So long as you’re aware of it, you’ll do better.” Thomas assured, causing Twilight to smile. “Ahem. But on that note, I am a little curious what it was like when you and Tali met. Was it as awkward as I imagine?”
“I didn’t think so at the time,” Twilight shifted in place. “It was my first time going back to the castle for private lessons. I was too nervous to ask the guards for directions, so I got lost. Then Tali found me.”
Talon beamed at her nickname being used. “Little filly was in the armory,” she reminisced fondly. “We’re still not sure how she got past the security.”
“I was so scared,” Twilight continued with a nervous giggle. “All those scary sharp weapons all over the place. I thought I might get stabbed if I breathed too hard. Then the guards found me and started yelling at me.”
“Then I swooped in and saved the day,” Talon proclaimed.
“Yes you did,” Twilight nodded appreciatively. “From there she agreed to take me to Celestia. I was still a little nervous so she did most of the talking. When I asked what she did around the castle, I didn’t even know what a concubine was. Boy, that was an awkward talk with my parents.”
Boy, Thomas thought, reflecting on how ponies mostly used the term for slang but would occasionally use it interchangeably with colt.
The conversation went on for a little while longer, with both Moonlight and Thomas opening up a bit more as they all snacked on the sandwiches. Twilight pressed with questions about himself and the human country, which he was happy to explain, save for the parts he had to omit lest they lead to some uncomfortable questions. She was especially excited about the many kinds of machines humans had and demanded he go into extensive detail while she took even more extensive notes. Unlike Lyra, she was not discouraged when he could only offer broad details and savored every tidbit of knowledge she could.
However, her enthusiasm quickly faded when he told her Celestia wanted to keep certain information secret for the moment. This revelation earned him very skeptical looks from Moonlight and Talon, but neither asked to elaborate. Twilight was puzzled by Pinkie’s reaction and her cheeks turned a shade of pink when she heard about Rainbow and Fluttershy. Twilight looked about ready to jump him when he brought up he and Moonlight were working on a book together, which he wasn’t sure if he’d enjoy or not.
Thankfully, Spike was there to save the day when he started talking about some of his favorite comics. Twilight was briefly disheartened when the human dove into this new topic, leaving her and the other females to converse about their own things. However, an ear swiveled in the boys’ direction when Thomas started pointing out how his favorite comics from the human country were so similar to Spike’s. She’d tried to step in, but was stopped when Talon gently encouraged her to just let the guys have their bonding.
Then, on a whim, Thomas looked at the time. “9:00 p.m. already?”
“Would ya look at that,” Talon mused. “Time flies when you’re having fun with friends.”
“I’ll bet that’s nice!” Spike shouted from the loft, causing the guests and librarian to snap to attention as they realized the little dragon had somehow managed to hear everything they had said, no doubt including Talon’s off-color jokes.
“Anyway,” Thomas stood abruptly. “I think it’s about time we left.”
“Hold up there, chimp. What’s the rush?”
“Rush? Oh, um, I just don’t want us to overstay our welcome. Wouldn’t want to keep Twilight from studying the ursa.”
Twilight beamed suspiciously at Thomas. “How’d you know I was studying ursas?”
“Oh… um,” thinking quickly, “I saw the book. Yeah.”
The lavender unicorn seemed satisfied with that explanation and stood as well. “It’s okay. Honestly, I had only just started before you guys came in.”
“…what?”
“There was a pony in town who bragged about how she vanquished an ursa major. It got me thinking and I was about to get to studying. But then you guys showed up literally after I finished the first page,” she smiled in blissful ignorance. “It’s no big deal. I’m used to all-nighters.”
“Oh no,” Thomas breathed heavily to suppress his panic. I distracted her. We came here and distracted her with mindless chatter, so she never studied about ursas. “This is not good.”
“What’s not…”
*Thoom*
The sudden tremor caused the tea in the cups to ripple.
*Thoom*
“What was that?” Twilight asked.
Talon and Moonlight stood up as one, each with a stern expression on their faces as they scanned their surroundings. “Something’s coming,” the griffon said softly.
“What the hay is that?” Twilight demanded as she ran outside, followed closely by the others, and they beheld the sight. Night had already fallen and an enormous blue bear with fur seemingly made of starlight was stomping through town. Ponies were fleeing in terror in every direction as the bear let out another terrifying roar.
“Smarty!” Talon barked commandingly.
“Sir!” Moonlight reflexively straightened to attention.
Talon’s beak curled into a snarl. “We need to clear this area of civilians. You and chimp work on leading them to the other end of town, away from the Everfree. And try to get some unicorns to help in containment.”
“Understood,” the guard nodded.
“What about you?” Twilight asked.
The griffon grinned and turned to face the beast. “Pegasi to me!” she roared and took off in the direction of the ursa.
Moonlight grabbed Thomas by the arm and ran in the opposite direction towards a group of civilians frozen in fear. “Private Moonlight Shield, Luna’s House Guard,” she informed. “I need everypony who can run to evacuate this side of town. Head for the train station. You pegasi!” she pointed then motioned back towards the ursa where Talon was flying circles around its head to keep it distracted. “She needs all strong flyers with her to keep that thing busy. Weak flyers aid in the evacuation.”
Did she just come up with all that on the spot? Thomas thought as he marveled at the orange unicorn. The moonlight had caught her armor in such a way that made her seem to shine beautifully. If Talon were present, she might remark on how Thomas had only ever looked at one other mare like that.
The varying colors of pegasi, no longer frozen in fear, still refused to budge as they looked upon the great beast.
“Come on, ladies!” called a familiar voice as a rainbow streak of light came to a halt above them. “This big brute wants a fight. Let’s do our warrior ancestors of old proud and give ‘em a show he won’t soon forget.”
Rainbow’s words seemed enough to invigorate the pegasi and they all took to the skies.
Moonlight nodded and turned back to the crowd, her hand still gripped around Thomas’ wrist like a vice. “All unicorns to me. I don’t expect many of you to know much of combat, but we need to keep this thing contained. Focus your magic on me and I’ll try to work up a barrier.”
Apparently all these ponies needed was for someone to take charge, probably something to do with the herd mentality. The unicorns stepped forward, lighting their horns and sending streams of magic into Moonlight. The orange mare strained under the pressure of the new magic, but quickly directed it in the direction of the ursa and created the largest version of her light shield yet between it and a house it was ready to smash. The crowd cheered when the ursa’s claw bounced off the construct, but Moonlight again reminded them they needed to keep clear. They stumbled away, exhausted from the sudden loss of magic.
Amidst all the commotion, the screaming, the cheers, the bone shaking rumble of the ursa’s paws slamming into the ground, Thomas finally collected himself and settled on a course of action. He’d managed to slip free of Moonlight’s grip as the mare seemed to be putting too much focus into the shield spell to notice right away. He felt guilty for taking advantage of his guard and friend while in this state, but it had to be done. This is my fault. I should have stopped those idiots the moment I realized what they were doing. How could I just assume things would end up well in the end just because I saw it on a freaking cartoon? This is my fault and I need to fix it.
Abandoning all sense of self preservation, he focused on a familiar group of ponies standing idle near the ursa. There he spotted the lavender unicorn and her drake assistant. However, just as he was building a decent stride towards his destination, a filly stumbled into his path. And of course the minor just had to be butt naked. She had yellow fur, semi-poofy red mane and tail, and the oversized red bow on her head completed the look. God damn it, Apple Bloom! What the hell are you doing heeeeee…
Thomas’ mental chastisement of the filly was brought to a sudden halt as he caught a very large movement out of the corner of his eye. The ursa, increasingly annoyed by the pegasi flying overhead, had become disinterested in the light shield and was meandering in the human’s direction, apparently with the intent on taking its frustrations out on a target it could actually hit. To that end, it raised its paw up high.
Thomas’ mind blurred as adrenaline flooded his body. He vaguely remembered hearing someone, maybe a female, call out his name. He saw the filly in front of him, frozen in fear. Despite the fact that she wasn’t moving, she was growing closer by the second. She looked up at him just in time for Thomas to notice a sudden weight in his arms. This was followed by the filly reaching out and grabbing around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. She was heavier than he’d expected, but for some reason that didn’t seem to matter and he found the strength to press on anyway. She also had a pleasant warmth in addition to her soft fur, leaving a distant part of the human’s brain to wonder if ponies in general just felt really nice and that this was why their communication was so physical.
His head turned on its own in the direction of the ursa. Time seemed to slow as the mammoth creature brought its equally mammoth paw down towards the human. Thomas knew his legs could not carry him fast enough, even without the extra weight. Maybe his body could manage to duck down at the last minute, but that seemed unlikely. Starry blue death seemed imminent until a tiny gold thread shot out and wrapped around one of the mighty beast’s toes. The word ‘lasso’ came to mind as Thomas could vaguely make out someone, an orange mare, yelling at him to keep running. Thomas looked away just as some red blur launched itself off the ground and into the ursa’s cheek. Not liking that one bit, the beast turned its attention towards the newly designated annoyances.
Thomas blinked and Apple Bloom was gone, though he was still running. Coming down a bit from his adrenaline high, his eyes darted worriedly around him until he saw the blank flank’s blank flank disappear behind a building. He didn’t remember putting her down, although picking her up was a blur at best. A new anxiety started building as his mind wandered to exactly where his hands had gone to while he held her and what consequences that might lead to later, but another roar from the ursa reminded him of his priorities.
“Seriously, Twilight,” Spike scolded. “You’ve got to get ahold of yourself.”
“I… I can’t,” Twilight stuttered. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“Yes you do! We just got done practicing more than a hundred tricks earlier this morning. You know magic. You can handle this,” he motioned towards the ursa.
“B-but… those are just little party tricks, and I’m only one unicorn,” Twilight pleaded. “I barely know anything about ursas. How can I possibly vanquish one?”
“Because you’re Twilight Sparkle, damn it!”
Both Twilight and Spike turned in shock, not only at the human’s sudden outburst, but his choice of words. They would have said something, but the human had a look about him that said propriety could go fuck a toaster after the day he’d had.
“Your talent is literally magic,” Thomas lectured. “You learned that when you hatched a dragon’s egg, something even your teachers thought impossible. Princess Celestia chose you as her personal protégé because she saw something special in you. And you proved her right when you and you alone saw the signs of Nightmare Moon’s return and then you freed Luna from her curse. Are you really going to let the Princess down when it counts the most?”
“The Princess…” Twilight trailed off. “But… my friends…”
The ursa roared in annoyance as it swiped angrily at the swarming pegasi. While most were fast enough to avoid its clumsy paws, the thing did manage to graze one unlucky flyer’s wings and she fell. Thomas felt his stomach jump into his chest as he watched Fluttershy plummet to the ground, only to be saved at the last minute by the combined efforts of Talon and Rainbow Dash.
“Your friends need you Twilight,” Thomas huffed. “They won’t hate you just because you’re talented. You’re magic’s part of who you are and they like you for who you are. They’re proud to have such a talented unicorn for a friend.”
“He’s right,” Spike added. “You can do this, Twi. I know you can.”
“You’re nothing like Trixie.”
“Hey!” a voice complained from behind a building.
“But…”
“Sir Thomas!” Moonlight called as she ran up to them, her eyes projecting a mix of panic and anger.
“Aw, screw it,” Thomas snapped before snatching the unicorn’s shoulders and pulling her down for his lips to meet hers. Her lips were soft and at this range her fur really did smell like lavender. It was nice.
“Uhhhhhh,” Spike gawked.
“Is this really the time for that?” Moonlight asked, fighting against her blush as her anger left her.
Thomas felt a strange tingling sensation in his wrists, followed by a sudden jolt of static between their lips. This caused him to push Twilight back, breaking the kiss. Her cheeks were bright red as he stared into her surprised eyes. “You can do this, Twilight. Have faith in yourself.” He stepped back to give the unicorn a clear line of sight with the ursa, all the while trying to ignore the strange spark. “Now put this baby to sleep.”
“Alright,” Twilight gulped. “Here goes nothing.” She summoned a gentle wind to blow through nearby reeds, creating a soft melody. Upon seeing the ursa calm down, Talon ordered all pegasi to fall back. The glow of her horn growing brighter, Twilight then emptied the water tower and sent the empty canister through a nearby barn where cows mooed in surprise. Horn growing even brighter still, Twilight lifted the docile ursa into the air, rocking it back and forth as she gave it the milk filled canister like a makeshift bottle. At seeing her stagger, Moonlight stepped forward and sent a stream of her own magic to bolster Twilight’s as she gently sent the ursa back into the cave from whence it came. Thomas and Spike caught her before she collapsed, only for the human’s adrenaline to die and his face became acquainted with the ground.
**********
Consciousness returned slowly and Thomas felt himself being cradled against a mix of soft fur and uncomfortably pointy sheets of metal.
“Thomas,” a familiar voice called. “Sir Thomas. Are you alright?”
“Hang on there, chimp. Is there a doctor in the house?”
“I-I’m fine,” he gasped, looking up at the relieved faces of Talon and Moonlight. “What happened?”
Moonlight scowled. “You ran off is what happened, you reckless idiot! Stupid colt. How am I supposed to guard you if you run towards danger? How do you think Luna would react if she found out you were hurt? Did it not occur to you what would happen to us if…” she whimpered, holding back angered tears.
Thomas shrunk in her grasp, unable to meet her eyes. He really hadn’t been thinking of any of that, only of how to make amends for his mistake. It never occurred to him that this would lead to a new, potentially worse mistake.
“Seriously chimp. That was just stupid,” Talon’s gently scolded as she patted Moonlight on the shoulder. But then her disapproving glare faded into a smile. “But boy that was amazing,” she cheered. “You gave Sparklebutt exactly the pep talk she needed to vanquish that ursa major and send it back to where it belongs. And the way you saved that filly… Sweet Faust that was awesome.”
“That wasn’t an ursa major,” Twilight informed from over near the crowd. “That was an ursa minor, a baby.”
“That was just a baby?” Trixie gasped, revealing her presence to the crowd.
“Then, what’s an ursa major like?” Spike asked hesitantly.
Twilight smiled coyly. “You don’t want to know,” she said as she turned to Thomas. “But it’s all thanks to you that I was able to do anything at all.”
Thomas shrunk in Moonlight’s arms. “I didn’t…” He was cut off by a long claw being shoved in his face.
“By Luna’s flank,” Talon sneered. “If you dare say you ‘didn’t do that much’, or some other lame thing, I swear I’ll throw you to Blueblood and lock the door on my way out.” She paused, letting the weight of her words sink in. “You saved a filly’s life and you helped Twilight.”
Thomas gulped, easily suppressing his reflex to argue further as he stared into Talon’s predator eyes. The griffon’s abandoning of nicknames gave him a hint at just how serious she was. He then looked to Moonlight who no longer looked to be on the verge of tears, but was still very angry as she stared back at him.
“I really hate the idea of encouraging this sort of behavior, but she’s right,” Moonlight admitted as her anger began to resurface. “It was still stupid of you to run off like that and I have half a mind to tan your hide to teach you a lesson,” she pulled back from the now terrified human, her expression softening. “But… you did good back there. I… I’m proud of you.”
Based on the way the orange unicorn started to blush, Thomas figured the warmth now surging through him was causing him to do the same.
“You really did help me, though,” Twilight insisted. “Not only did you snap me out of my self-doubt, it was your words that inspired my spells. I hadn’t realized it was only an ursa minor until you said to ‘put the baby to sleep’. If it weren’t for you, I might have tried some sort of offensive magic that would have just made it angrier. Also,” she said in a more hushed tone as a blush took her face, “that kiss kinda… sorta… zapped my brain a little… I think. Everything just sorta seemed to fall into place, like it was meant to be. It was… I guess ‘inspiring’ would be the word.”
“That’s, um, I think you might be exaggerating a bit,” Thomas hesitated. He was certain that his kiss couldn’t have possibly been ‘inspiring’. Luna had certainly never said as much. However, the tingle in his wrists he’d felt right before the spark did leave him uneasy. He scratched at the areas on the back of both hands, but couldn’t find anything of note.
Moonlight stared in awe between Thomas and Twilight as the hamster wheel of her brain raced to comprehend what Twilight just described. Naturally, her thoughts drifted to places they probably shouldn’t, especially at a time like this. However, it wasn’t enough to make her forget her anger for long and she resumed scowling down at the human in her arms. She’d wanted to argue against Talon’s encouragement of his reckless behavior, but there was simply no arguing with how amazing he looked saving the filly and even kissing the mare. She’d tell him later though, after she was done being mad.
“I… appreciate the thought and all, but I only did a small part,” Thomas countered as he carefully pulled himself onto his feet while Moonlight kept her arms protectively encircled around him in case he fell. “This was a team effort.”
“Aw yeah,” Rainbow cheered as she circled overhead, flying from pegasus to pegasus. “Did you see us back there? We were all awesome. I’m so proud of all of you.”
“Same to you unicorns and earth ponies,” Moonlight nodded towards the crowd.
“You should be,” Talon nodded. “All of you. When this hits the papers tomorrow, all of Equestria is going to know that Ponyville is the village of heroes.”
The crowd was in an uproar as ponies cheered congratulating each other for their accomplishment. All except for three very guilty looking unicorns.
An orange earth pony with a cowboy hat, long blonde mane and tail, and three apples for a cutie mark stepped out of the crowd, carrying two young colts and a blue unicorn mare tied in her lasso. “And what should we do with these three?” Applejack asked in a deep southern accent.
The naked colts bowed their heads solemnly. “We’re sorry.”
“We just wanted to see some awesome magic.”
“We deserve whatever punishment you give us.”
“The great and powerful Trixie apologizes for nothing,” the unicorn mare struggled against the ropes. “All she did was put on a show to bedazzle and entertain the masses. It’s not her fault these idiots went and reminded everypony why the Everfree Forest is one of the most feared places in Equestria. Trixie should have known better than to come to this backwater bunk town to begin with,” she mumbled to the displeasure of everyone in earshot, which was roughly half of Ponyville.
Talon stepped forward, cracking her knuckles and making the unicorns quiver in fear. “Ya know. Back in the Griffon Kingdom, if anyone pulled a stunt like this, we’d have them shaved bare and publicly flogged before spending the next decade in jail.” She sneered down at them before pulling back. “Lucky for you, we ain’t there.”
“That’s right,” an earth mare with grey amber fur and a white mane spoke up. Her cutie mark was a scroll wrapped in ribbon. “As mayor of Ponyville, I’ll be in charge of handling their punishment. For starters, they can clean up the mess they made.”
“But Trixie did nothing wrong!”
“She really didn’t,” Thomas stepped forward, looking at Applejack pleadingly. “Like she said, all she did was put on a show. She might have been a little mean about it, but you can’t punish her just for showing off.”
The stern earth mare looked up at him and her face slowly relaxed with recognition. “You… You’re the colt who saved mah little sister, ain’t chya?”
“It’s fine AJ,” Twilight added. “You can let her go.”
“If ya say so, Twi,” Applejack nodded and released the knots around Trixie. Then she leaned in close to the blue mare’s ear. “You’d best be thankin both these two fer bein so neighborly.”
Trixie rubbed the spots on her arms where the ropes had dug in before looking up at the first person to speak up on her behalf. She stared at him for an excruciating couple of seconds as her eyes crawled across his body as if she somehow planned to pierce his skin with her gaze. “Thank you,” she grumbled before stomping over to Twilight. “And you… You may have vanquished an ursa minor, but you will never have the amazing show stopping ability of the great and powerful Trixie!” She shook her fist in righteous indignation before a smoke bomb exploded at her feet. When it cleared, the mare could be seen running out of town.
“Why that little,” Rainbow snarled as she prepared to take off, only for Applejack to grab her tail.
“That’ll be enough of that, sugar cube. We best be getten ta fixen the town,” Applejack grinned. “Wouldn’t want our picture as the village of heroes to be one ah broken down houses. What’d the neighbors think?”
The crowd took the cue and slowly disbanded with ponies being organized into clean-up teams, including Twilight. As they did, Talon slipped off to have a few private words with Fluttershy while Rainbow, Thomas, and Moonlight watched. They couldn’t make out the words, but both were smiling and seemed much more relaxed with one another.
“Fergive me, but I didn’t catch yer name,” Applejack inquired, reminding the others that she was still there.
“Oh, uh, it’s Thomas.”
“Sir Thomas, Senior Concubine of Princess Luna’s Harem,” Moonlight corrected proudly. “And the bravest idiot of a colt I’ve ever met.”
Applejack removed her hat and set it over her chest while offering her free hand. Thomas accepted, though immediately regretted it as the earth pony reminded him why it was a bad idea to challenge an earth pony to an arm wrestling contest. “Ah can’t thank ya enough fer what you did fer little Apple Bloom.” Her eyes began to water as she shook Thomas’ hand vigorously.
Thankfully, Moonlight noticed Thomas’ discomfort and pulled him free before the other orange mare turned his bones to powder.
“Heh, sorry bout that,” Applejack blushed. “Don’t know mah own strength sometimes. But like ah was sayin, you done right by the Apple clan. If ya ever need anythin, don’t you never hesitate to ask an Apple and we’ll do right by you. Ya hear?”
“S-sure thing,” Thomas nodded, smiling he cradled his hand.
AJ set her hat back in its proper place as she gave a soft nod. “Ah gotta get to helpin with the cleanup, but don’t you think twice about stopping at Sweet Apple Acres next time yer around.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.”
AJ nodded once more and headed off to a group of ponies having some issue the farm pony took offense with.
“Hey guys!” greeted the perpetually high spirited pink pony with cotton candy hair.
“Hey, Pinkie,” Rainbow nodded. “Where you been?”
“Sleeping.”
“Sleeping?” Rainbow deadpanned. “You slept through all that?”
“What can I say,” Pinkie shrugged. “I’m a heavy sleeper.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Anyway, you should really meet some of the heroes of the hour,” she motioned to Thomas and Moonlight.
“We’ve met,” Moonlight answered coldly.
Pinkie’s ears splayed as she pouted remorsefully. “I was actually hoping to catch you guys before you left. I wanted to say how sorry I am for reacting the way I did.”
“Sorry?” Rainbow asked. “Sorry for what?”
“She called Sir Thomas a monster,” Moonlight snorted.
“I admit I overreacted back there,” Pinkie traced her hoof against the dirt. “But it wasn’t entirely my fault. I thought you were the other you.”
“The… what?” Thomas tilted his head.
Even Moonlight couldn’t come up with an angered remark for that one.
“See, when I saw you, I didn’t recognize you at first. So the first thing I thought was ‘oh my gosh I need to throw them a welcome party’. But then I remembered that I did recognize you,” Pinkie pointed at Thomas. “Not you you, but another you, and that was when I kinda panicked.”
“Another…” Thomas struggled. “You’re not making any sense.”
“Oh, sorry. Well, it all happened a long time ago, or maybe it hasn’t happened at all yet,” Pinkie wondered. “It’s hard to keep track of things like this. Anyway, you had come to Ponyville. Not you you, but the other you. Only you weren’t you, you were a pony. Only you weren’t a pony like us because you walked on all fours and were a lot shorter. You were really angry about that,” she giggled. “Anyway, you came up to me, not me me but the other me, the one that walked on all fours, and asked the other me for a thing. I don’t really remember what it was, but you, the other you, said it was responsible for my Pinkieness, or something like that. Your white unicorn friend didn’t seem to like me very much, though,” she frowned. “Anyway, you, the other you, took the thing and then things got a little fuzzy after that. I think some bad stuff happened. So when I saw you, the you you, I forgot that you weren’t the other you and I was afraid bad stuff was going to happen here too just like they did in Ponyville, the other Ponyville. Thank goodness that didn’t happen.” She finished cheerfully, only for her tail to twitch just before a roof collapsed on a house the ursa had bitten. Pinkie just continued to smile as though she hadn’t noticed.
The two mares and human were rendered dumbstruck by the pink pony’s explanation. Moonlight craned her head to look Thomas, but he had no answers. She then looked up at Rainbow, but the cyan mare only shrugged and shook her head. “That’s just Pinkie being Pinkie… I think.”
“Yaparoony,” Pinkie agreed, oblivious of her audience’s confusion, before bouncing off toward the recently collapsed roof where she joined a group of ponies in the cleanup.
“Hey guys,” Talon waved as she walked up, giving one last wave goodbye to the yellow mare. “Looks like me and Flutters are on for next week. What’s the matter? Trying to catch flies or something?” she half laughed at their still gawking expression. “But seriously, what just happened?”
“I don’t know,” Thomas confessed.
They must never know.
Suddenly realization donned on him and he ran off after Twilight, accompanied by his companions.
“Wo there, chimp. What’s the rush?”
Thomas ignored her as he caught up with his target. “Spike. I need you to send a letter to Princess Celestia right now.”
“Whatever for?” Twilight asked.
“I just…” Thomas hesitated, trying to think of an explanation that wouldn’t reveal his secret foresight. “I just need to tell Celestia something really important. I’m sorry I can’t say more, but… I’m under her orders not tell.”
“Alright, I guess,” Twilight frowned before nodding to Spike.
“What’s the message?” he asked after pulling a quill and paper from seemingly nowhere.
Thomas breathed to calm himself until he came up with a satisfying answer. “This is Thomas. We’ve gone off script in a big way and we need to talk about it.”
The train ride back to Canterlot was agonizingly long. As he watched the scenery go by from the window, Thomas had never missed cell phones so much in his life as he wondered how Celestia would react to his letter.
“Why so glum, chimp?” Talon gently punched his shoulder. “You’re a hero, for crying out loud. And the way you kissed Sparklebutt back there, I’d swear you’d been trained by a master.”
“She’s right, you know,” Moonlight looked up from her notes. Almost immediately after Spike sent the letter, Celestia sent a reply asking for her to write up a report on the incident. “You saved that filly’s life. And enlisting Celestia’s protégé like that was a stroke of brilliance and you handled it masterfully.”
“He’s not the only one,” Talon beamed at the guard. “That shield you made was a work of art.”
“Not at all,” Moonlight dismissed sheepishly. “What about how you lead those pegasi to distract the ursa? That thing might have smashed half of Ponyville if you hadn’t stepped in like that before Miss Sparkle managed to subdue it. It’s rather encouraging to see the old training never really dies.”
Talon beamed in pride. “Ya know what, we were all awesome back there. In fact, I’m so pumped I don’t care if Leste’s asleep right now or not. The minute we get back to the castle, I’m gonna take that mare and give her the ride of her life.” She looked down at the human. “So why the hay do you look so worried?”
Thomas finally turned from the window and sighed. “You’re right and I am pretty excited for what happened back there.”
“You mean how you expertly smooched that cute mare?” Talon teased. “Actually, the taking can wait. First thing I’m gonna do is tell Leste and Luna what you did. The looks on their faces will be priceless,” she tittered giddily.
“Miss Talon is correct, though,” Moonlight put her hand on Thomas’ knee. “What you did with Miss Sparkle may not seem like much, but you really did accomplish quite a bit back there. Also, and I can’t stress this enough, you saved a filly’s life. I’m certain both Princesses will be proud of you.”
“Yeah. So why are you still so bummed?” Talon asked irately. “You worried Leste won’t like you kissing Sparklebutt or something? Cause I can tell you right now, worst thing she’ll do is ask you not do so anymore; which she will only do after asking for details.”
“Does this have something to do with these secret orders of yours?” Moonlight inquired.
Thomas hesitated, and then gave a meek nod.
Talon sighed as she threw her arm around Thomas’ shoulder and pulled him close. “I’m pretty certain an ursa attack doesn’t have anything to do with a concubine’s discretion, unless Luna’s into some really elaborate role play stuff…” she trailed off. “So what’s with all the secrecy?”
“You told Miss Sparkle that the Princesses want you to keep details on the human country secret,” Moonlight added. “Is this matter related?”
“Sort of,” Thomas admitted.
“Then I think this line of questioning is over,” Moonlight nodded. “If the Princesses say it’s secret, then it is none of our concern.”
“Maybe not for you, but I still want to know,” Talon whined before composing herself. “I can’t ask ya to go against an order from the Princesses, but I don’t like my friends keeping secrets from me. When we get back, I think me and Leste are going to have to have a long talk. But first,” she turned to look at Moonlight. “You. Care to share why you look so glum?”
Moonlight blinked back at the griffon. She looked ready to deny the accusation, but a solemn glare from her friend told her it was pointless. “Before the ursa… I failed.”
Thomas sat up straight and looked worriedly at the unicorn. “Failed?”
“I failed to protect you, Sir.”
Thomas grimaced at the way she’d called him ‘Sir’. It sounded strangely accusing.
“Not just with the ursa, but before that, when that Lyra pony got past me and knocked you down.”
Thomas blinked. “But I already said it was…”
“It’s not!” Moonlight cut him off curtly. “I mean… your words are appreciated, but that doesn’t relieve me of my mistake. That’s why I’m going to report myself.”
“Report yourself?” Thomas asked in disbelief. He looked to the griffon for assistance, but Talon had folded her arms as she regarded Moonlight seriously.
“You sure?” Talon asked neutrally, to which the unicorn nodded. “Good soldier.”
“Good soldier?” Thomas repeated in shock. “But-but-but…”
“Not this time,” Talon shook her head. “She made a mistake. It’s only right that she owns up to it.”
Moonlight blinked in surprise, but then realized that her griffon friend was ex-military, so this response shouldn’t have surprised her. She felt she should smile, but that didn’t seem appropriate. Instead, she just gave a firm nod which the griffon returned.
Despite his displeasure, there was an unspoken agreement to not bring up the matter further. The remainder of the train ride was conducted in relative silence.
**********
“The buck is this!?” Talon screeched outside Celestia’s office, her wings and feathers flared in anger.
“I’m sorry, Tali,” Celestia bobbed her head apologetically as she blocked the door with her body. The guards on either side of the door were tense, uncertain of how they were supposed to react to a concubine yelling at a Princess like this. Even Moonlight looked worried. “But this is a matter of national security.”
“The buck does that mean?” Talon snarled at the larger white alicorn. “What does a random ursa attack and the chimp have to do with national security?”
“Talon,” Celestia said in a tone that made Talon pull back. “I promise I will tell you and the others, in time. But for now, Thomas, Luna, and I have very important matters to discuss.”
Talon continued seething for a moment until her feathers and wings settled back against her body. “I’ll hold you to that.”
“Until then,” Celestia continued, “I’ll trust you not to press Thomas to defy a royal command.”
Talon dipped her head in a nod. “So long as you can promise you’re not getting him involved in anything dangerous. Despite tonight, the little guy’s not exactly the most capable on his own.”
Celestia gave a warm smile. “It makes me happy to see you’ve taken such a liking to him.”
“Don’t do that,” Talon glared. “I know you. You can’t dodge me like some petty noble.”
“Indeed,” Celestia sighed. “You have my word that I will do what I can to keep him safe.”
“I’ll hold you to that too,” Talon nodded and walked off.
Celestia turned to look at Moonlight and took the report from her. Moonlight was practically shaking as she watched the Princess lift the papers to her face and begin skimming. Moonlight could not bring herself to move for, within their confines of that report was a rather harsh critique of her own performance during the day. Not only did she describe her every shortcoming during the attack, but she did not leave out her pitiful reaction when Lyra had tackled Thomas. At the time, she had rationalized that what Lyra had done wasn’t that severe. After all, some ponies were just overenthusiastic about certain things, meaning that what Lyra had done wasn’t that rare. It was still socially unacceptable to be so forcefully physical with strangers, but the orange unicorn had caught herself overthinking the situation and suppressing the impulse to react as a guard should. She’d noted this in the report, but it was not an excuse, just one more detail to explain her failing.
Finally, Celestia looked up and Moonlight braced herself for the worst. Celestia wasn’t known for yelling, but a look of disappointment from the Princess of the Sun would be just as devastating. Moonlight resigned herself for whatever the elder alicorn had planned. If she was lucky, really lucky, she’d be asked to leave the guard in order to avoid a dishonorable discharge.
“Thank you for your services, Private Moony,” Celestia said with a warm smile, unaware of how the other mare’s heart had briefly stopped. “You did fine.”
Moonlight froze in shock. No one but her family had ever called her by that nickname. And Celestia hadn’t done that since the young filly had stopped referring to her as ‘auntie’ at her father’s request. What’s more, Moonlight was having a very difficult time rationalizing those last three words as anything other than possible forgiveness for her failure. “Y-yes, Princess,” she eventually acknowledged. Celestia lingered in the doorway, staring down at Moonlight as if she wanted to say something more. In time, Celestia departed and closed the door behind her. In a daze Moonlight took up her position beside the door, repeating the Princess’ last three words over and over in her head, each time making her feel a little bit lighter until she had to stop herself from bouncing like a filly.
**********
Celestia’s office was dimly lit as she made her way to her desk. The furniture was arranged much as Luna’s with an alicorn sized desk in the center and a smaller one for the currently absent secretary by the door. However, the normal guards and aids were absent. Tonight, the only ones in the office were Celestia, Luna sitting to her right, and Thomas sitting across from them both.
Thomas was visibly shaking at the sight before him. He’d grown used to seeing both Princesses, large, beautiful, and powerful sitting side by side, but they had always seemed so relaxed and inviting while joking with the other concubines. However, there were no jokes this time. Both were smiling, but it was the sort of smile that always preceded a lecture on all the things you’ve done wrong. Up until now, Thomas had gotten the impression that the alicorns wished to be looked at as any normal mares, but right now they were Princesses. Their postures and powerful eyes reflected the centuries of experience they had ruling the mightiest kingdom in the known world. Celestia, as the larger of the two, was especially intimidating. Ignoring her magic, size, and strength, Celestia held an intense beauty which caused the average pony to bow before her out of pure reflex.
“Sorry for the delay,” Celestia shrugged as she looked over the report. “Tali seems quite protective of you.”
“She’s been really nice to me,” Thomas said, glancing nervously between the Princesses.
“Hmm,” Luna hummed as she joined her sister in reading the report, turning the pages rapidly as she read. “Seems like you had quite the day off.”
Celestia nodded. “Even before the ursa, there are a number of details which differ significantly from your original description of the, as you described it, episode. For instance, Rainbow Dash was not present during Trixie’s show.”
“She was off consoling Fluttershy, I think,” Thomas nodded.
“Which only happened because of her meeting with Lady Talon,” Luna pointed out. “It seems that the key difference between this and your original recounting of the episode was yourself. Your presence had an unintended ripple effect. Quite interesting,” she said with an intrigued smile.
Thomas shrunk in his chair, feeling like he’d been called to the principal’s office after doing something wrong. I fucked up. There’s no other way of putting it. My just going to Ponyville nearly caused the entire town to be leveled by a freaking space bear. If it weren’t for me, Twilight would have been able to react faster and Apple Bloom wouldn’t have been in any danger at all. And that’s just her. If the other ponies in town knew what I’d nearly done, Moonlight would have had to use the shield to save me from a lynch mob. Thomas was so deep in his negative thoughts that he didn’t notice Luna’s frown at his reaction.
“However,” Luna continued with a mildly optimistic tone. “You, Moonlight, and Talon made up for it by leading a defense and snapping young Twilight out of her… I believe ‘funk’ is the word. And, if I am reading this correctly, you were quite daring in your rescue of the filly,” Luna beamed proudly. “Do not be surprised if your next trip to Ponyville is significantly more amicable.”
“They balanced themselves out,” Celestia added, returning her attention to the report. “However, it may be prudent to restrict your movements to Canterlot, at least for the time being.”
“You mean like how I was under house arrest before?” Thomas asked bluntly, surprising himself by the sharpness of his own words. Normally he kept such snide remarks to himself, especially when Luna was involved.
Luna snapped to attention away from the report. “We… I… yes,” she slumped a bit into her chair. “It says right here,” she pointed at the document, “that you were told as much.”
Thomas stared blankly back at the Princess of the Night. “Moonlight and Talon told me I was being confined to the castle for my own good.”
“It was.” Luna insisted somberly. “We needed to take precautions to ensure your safety.”
“I get that,” Thomas admitted, trying to keep his tone calm. “Especially early on, I get that you would have been concerned for my safety and that of others. I just wish you would have told me.”
Luna opened her mouth to speak, but found no words. Celestia eyed the both of them in silent judgment.
“It’s not the house arrest thing that bothers me,” Thomas explained. “You’ve got a pretty nice house and I wouldn’t have had anywhere to go anyway. But…” he trailed off.
“But?” Celestia repeated, breaking the silence.
“Talon said that your…” he hesitated, bracing himself for Luna’s reaction, “possession-thing,” Luna remained surprisingly stoic, “might have led to some adverse effects, so I’m not mad. But I wish you’d have at least told me where I stood.”
Luna winced. There was no excuse for failing to inform him, not even the adverse effects he had mentioned. As his mare, she had a duty to be open with him, especially on matters regarding his person.
“You’re right,” Celestia set the report down and leaned forward. “It seems there have been a number of oversights as of late. Sister,” she turned to Luna. “I do believe you owe Sir Thomas an apology for not informing him of his previous confinement to the castle.”
“Oh no,” Thomas protested, fearful that he’d overstepped his bounds. “She doesn’t need to say…”
“I’m sorry,” Luna cut him off. “You are mine, my love. And as such, it was my responsibility to inform you about such things.” She hesitated, but the next words eventually came. “My mind has not been as keen as it once was since my return, but that is hardly an excuse. Please forgive my terrible negligence in this matter.”
Thomas was taken aback. The seriousness of Luna’s tone told him that she was being genuine. She loved him, sure. He felt as much to be true. However, the human still couldn’t help but feel surprised at how the prospect of her hurting him was in turn hurting her just as much. A part of him wanted to stay angry, to just tell her how upset he was and revel in her response, but that part was pushed aside. “No. I’m sorry,” Thomas said, surprising both alicorns. “You’ve been really patient in how you’ve been helping me adjust to this place, but it never occurred to me that your situation, coming back after so long, might require some patience on my part too.” As the alicorns stared back at him, Thomas silently congratulated himself for his mature response.
Luna smiled, elated and relieved at hearing those words. “Apology accepted. Thank you, my little human,” she said in relief. “We shall speak more on this later.”
Thomas flushed at having his pet name spoken in front of Celestia, but he was also thankful to have that weight lifted from his chest.
“As I said,” the Princess of the Sun continued, “it seems you did manage to balance out much of the unforeseen effects of your interference. Perhaps restrictions would be too much, but at the very least I ask you to be a bit more cautious the next time you return to Ponyville.”
“That’s, um, fair. Thank you.” Thomas lightly bowed his head. He figured such a thing was probably a given, but it made sense that Celestia would say it out loud anyway.
“What about Lady Talon’s courting of the Element of Kindness?” Luna asked.
“It’s not a courting,” Celestia dismissed unconcernedly. “That’s just how Tali gets when she’s around cute mares. I don’t imagine anything serious will come of this. And if it does, I will simply have a talk with her about ensuring that little Fluttershy is not distracted from her friends. All in all, while tonight was quite the scare, it seems that there’s nothing more to worry about.”
“But it happened completely out of order!” Thomas stood. “That means everything I’ve told you could be wrong. How can you say that there’s nothing to worry about?”
Celestia beamed at Thomas until he sat back down. “Was it not you who said we might not be able to trust the order of events, what with Winter Wrap up happening before,” she checked one of the other stacks of paper on her desk, “Fall Weather Friends? For the record, this event has not happened yet either. Further, Hearth’s Warming Eve, a winter holiday, occurs in what you referred to as the second season after Winter Wrap Up, yet you also say that all of these events take place within a single year.”
“But that was just a broadcasting error,” Thomas protested irately. “That’s like if a printer accidentally made a book with chapter four coming after chapter seven.”
Celestia listened calmly. “Why should this be any different?”
“It means you can’t trust the order for anything,” Thomas seethed, frustrated that the Princesses didn’t seem to be taking this as seriously as he was.
Celestia nodded stoically. “I have already considered this possibility since the day you told me of your knowledge of Equestria.”
“Sister,” Luna frowned.
“Starswirl created a number of mirrors to alternate realities,” Celestia explained casually. “Places so near our own Equestria that you could search for years and not find a difference, and yet more worlds that go beyond the scope of mortal imagination. Even you have suggested that the world you described could merely be another parallel reality. The fact that we look nothing like the ponies you observed should be evidence enough of that.”
“But… if this really is just some alternate reality, then you can’t really trust anything I’ve told you.” Thomas slumped in his seat and pressed his hands to his face. “I’m just completely useless.”
“Enough!” Luna shouted, stopping just short of the Royal Canterlot Voice as she stood from the desk and angrily stomped around it to Thomas. “Thou art forbidden from saying such foalish things about our stallion. Thou art not…”
“Sister!” Celestia raised her voice and motioned for Luna to back down. “Sir Thomas, the ‘Sir’ was not awarded to you lightly. You are an asset to the crown. Regardless of the accuracy of your information, this very report proves you are an upstanding citizen of Equestria. It would serve you well to take some of the advice you gave Twilight for yourself,” she grinned, glancing at Luna. “Besides, I’m certain my sister is just itching to explain, in great detail, all the reasons why you are, in fact, not useless.”
Thomas looked back up at Luna as she gave him an affirming nod while her eyes plead for his understanding.
“I’d say your eventful day is catching up with you,” Celestia smiled. “Perhaps you could do with some rest to restore your strength. However, do not mistake my calm demeanor for lack of concern. Further precautions will be taken to ensure that Equestria and her citizens are protected. You have my word as a Princess.”
“Thank you,” Thomas sighed gratefully before a yawn took him. “Yeah. I think it is time for bed.”
“Moonlight will escort you back to my chambers,” Luna instructed after exchanging glances with Celestia.
“Moonlight!” Thomas blurted remembering one last thing he had intended to say.
“What of her?” Luna asked, ears twitching anxiously.
“In the report,” Thomas began. “Did she… bring up what happened with a unicorn named Lyra?”
Luna exchanged quick glances with her sister. If this was going where she thought it was, she might accidentally shatter someone’s eardrums with her squee. However, she managed to stay composed and keep a neutral expression as she answered. “That she did.”
“It’s just…” Thomas hesitated as he searched for the right words. “She’s not going to get in trouble, is she?”
Luna tilted her head. “Why do you ask?”
“It’s just… I think it’s been bugging her all day how she, I guess, didn’t react like she should have.” Thomas’ practical side was screaming at him to just shut up and let the guard be disciplined for her failure. However, once more that part was pushed aside by something that felt strangely unfamiliar to the human, like a compulsion to say and do certain things. “Nothing happened, so I don’t think she should be punished.”
It took all of Luna’s self-discipline to keep her tail from wagging like a dog’s. Thomas’ concern for his friend, along with apparent willingness to stand up for her if need be, was nothing especially unusual to any outsider. However, as an insider, Luna could see something else at play and it filled her with warmth and excitement. Alas, that would have to wait. “I do not think the young guard will get much more than a simple write up,” she said casually as she moseyed back to her chair behind the desk.
“So she will get in trouble?” Thomas asked worriedly.
“No more so than if she was late to her shift a few too many days in a month,” Luna said dismissively. “If this report is any indicator, Private Moonlight is quite aware of her mistake. The Lieutenant might have her perform a number of menial tasks as punishment, but I suspect she will appreciate the alleviation of any lingering guilt. What this Lyra pony did, while inappropriate, was not all that unusual.”
“Seriously?” Thomas deadpanned.
“Indeed,” Luna nodded. “In any case, Moonlight’s career in the guard will not be damaged. On this, I can assure you.”
Thomas let out a small sigh of relief. “Glad to hear it.”
Luna was thankful that the desk now served as an exceptional shield to block the human’s view of her wagging tail. Her tail wasn’t twitching in sexual frustration. Her tail was wagging the same as any dog upon hearing something it likes. “I’ll join you shortly. My sister and I have some other matters to discuss.”
Thomas agreed and departed, sleep threatening to take him before he could find the bed. For a moment he considered mentioning the tingle in his wrists and the spark-kiss, but he dismissed it as nothing but an embarrassing coincidence. If Moonlight hadn’t seen fit to write it in her report, then it wasn’t worth acknowledging.
“He worries for us,” Luna mused as she sat beside her sister in the dim office light. “Barely a citizen for a few months and already he shows such loyalty.”
“I wonder who could have inspired such feelings in him,” Celestia added suggestively. “Must have been quite the inspiring pony.”
“Oh, stop,” Luna dismissed playfully.
“You’re right,” Celestia nodded. “More likely he was inspired by the pony with the most inspiring plot in all Equestria.”
Luna leered challengingly at her sister. “And to whom would this supposedly inspiring plot belong to, pray tell?”
“To whom, you ask?” Celestia asked with a shocked gasp. “Why, who else but the glorious sun?” She held up her hand dramatically to emphasize the point.
“Don’t believe everything the tabloids say, dear sister, for it is we who have the most amazing plot.”
“Debatable,” Celestia said evenly. “But we were talking about inspiring plots, not those that are merely amazing.”
“The only thing your plot inspires, dear sister, is ponies who lack confidence in their weight. No matter how bad they are, at least they are not you.”
“How dare you,” Celestia and turned her body to make sure her rump was visible. “I’ll have you know that this plot is the idol of millions, inspiring all who have doubts that pleasantly plump is the paragon of beauty.”
“Paragon, you say,” Luna laughed. “Doth thou expect us to believe that the term ‘mooning’ was spawned out of the ether?” She scoffed, her slip into old Equestrian signaling her agitation. “No. Twas inspired by none other than the glorious moon of the Princess of the Moon.”
“Oh, so it’s glorious now,” Celestia mockingly bobbed her head from side to side. “First it’s amazing, now it’s glorious. How can I take your argument seriously if you can’t even stay consistent?”
“Consistent?” Luna asked haughtily. “Like the consistent growth of thy own plot? If this keeps up, we may have to petition the governors to have thy flank declared an imminent threat to the state. We can just imagine the looks of gratitude on their faces at our initiative to save them from the ever expanding plot of doom.”
“Oh really?” Celestia sneered. “Well I can imagine, too. I see a great battle between heretics and worshippers of the one true plot. History will not look fondly on you for leading your followers to such an end.” Celestia hesitated a moment, worried that her choice of wording might have been too close to her sister’s falling. Thankfully, Luna either did not notice or did not care.
Luna struggled to stifle her laughter, which only served to weaken Celestia’s resolve. Not even the Princesses were strong enough to spend so long discussing the majesty and deadliness of plots without cracking a smile. In time, both succumbed to foalish laughter. Luna had nearly fallen out of her chair while Celestia threw herself onto her desk, still bent over. They briefly paused as Celestia gave her rump a little shake, and the laughter returned harder than ever.
“You know,” Luna began, struggling for breath. “Towards the end… I was actually picturing the great sun plot looming over head, threating to squish all who stood against it.”
Celestia snickered and raised her fist in the air. “None would dare stand against the royal booty.” She grabbed her sister’s arm and pulled her by her side, flank to flank. “But before two booties as fine as ours, all Equestria would fall.”
The sisters laughed maniacally at their flawless strategy of using their rumps to conquer the kingdom they already ruled. In time they laughed themselves to exhaustion and fell back into their seats.
“I missed this,” Luna sighed as she wiped the tears of joy from her face.
“I missed you,” Celestia smiled back at her sister.
“I don’t see why,” Luna said with a pout. “With the one true moon gone, you were free to spread your propaganda that your own flanks had appeal.”
“Now don’t start that again,” Celestia shook her head as she laughed. “I may have been spending too much time with Tali and Steel Hoof. Those two are terrible influences.”
“We would not know,” Luna brushed her mane out of her face. “Our own concubine has been nothing but a gentle colt. We actually had to train him into the dirty talk.”
“Interesting you should bring that up,” Celestia continued. “What exactly have the two of you been doing besides… well, bucking?” There was a pause.
“Why do you ask?” Luna inquired with a hint of suspicion.
“You know why,” Celestia said with a bemused frown. “Just because he serves the night court doesn’t mean he is any less of a curiosity to me. He is an alien, a foreigner in a strange land. How could I not be curious? Besides, we’ve always been open about our lovers before,” Celestia concluded pleadingly. She really wanted to know.
“Very well,” Luna said with an exaggerated sigh of defeat. “What do you wish to know?”
“What other activities the two of you do together. For example, board games. Sunny utterly kills at Monopoly.”
Luna thought on this a moment. “He offers us, er, me massages,” she said proudly as she tried slipping back into modern speech. “Scans may show he is not a magical creature, but there must surely be some enchantment upon his fingers, for his touch is heavenly.”
“Really?” Celestia’s eyebrow raised in intrigue. “Talon and Misty said something about that. I don’t suppose you’d be up for sharing him at some point?”
Luna gave her sister a coy scowl. “And where, pray tell, would you have those lovely fingers of his wander? As the only member of my harem, I’m afraid I cannot afford to loan him to you, lest he fall prey to the heathen plot.”
Celestia held her fist to her mouth to stifle another round of silliness. “Fair enough. But what activities do you partake in besides the physical?”
Luna’s ear flicked at her sister’s odd question. “Does reading count as physical?”
“How would reading count as physical?”
“Sometimes we read together while he lies on top of me to use my breasts,” Luna squished her large mammaries together for emphasis, “as a pillow. Tis quite relaxing for both of us.”
“Sister!” Celestia pulled back in dramatic shock. “I had always been under the impression that you preferred to be on top. How could I have misjudged you so terribly?” She bemoaned dramatically, bringing her the back of her hand to her forehead.
Luna snorted and rolled her eyes. “Perhaps you are not as all-knowing as you would have the masses believe?”
Celestia turned to her sister with a deadpan glare. “Now that was just mean.”
“Come, sister,” Luna smirked. “Have you truly become so soft in these centuries of peace that a little teasing frazzles your tail?”
“That’s rich, coming from the pony who used to be the undisputed queen of frazzled tails,” Celestia countered triumphantly.
“Now look who’s being mean,” Luna leered, but could not keep a straight face for long. “But you are right. As Princess, we find our-” *Celestia coughed* “I find the most appropriate position for the royal plot to be on top,” she said proudly.
“Is that entirely safe, though?” Celestia asked with a bit of worry. “I mean, he is so small.”
Luna smirked as her ear flicked. “Do you doubt the firm yet soft nature of the royal moon?” She stood and turned sideways, bending over just enough to present her rump to her sister. “Go on and feel for yourself how comfortable it would be to rest under such a marvel.”
Shrugging, Celestia cupped her left hand over her sister’s rump cheeks without a second thought, causing the younger alicorn to gasp in mild surprise. Celestia kneaded the plot flesh between her fingers through the dress. She experimented with different levels of pressure, bringing out different levels of moaning from her sister, but it all remained rather muted. Luna’s plot was not so sensitive that play this mild would arouse her, as Celestia knew from personal experience. Neither alicorns’ tails were twitching nor were they even giving off the correct smells announcing their readiness. The elder sister was just indulging the younger sister’s point and eventually pulled her hand back.
“Well?” Luna inquired.
“A fine enough plot,” Celestia said authoritatively. “Just the right amount of cushioning, but I feel that we have gotten a bit off track.”
“You’re the one who asked,” Luna said before retaking her seat.
“Yes, but I meant to ask other things. For example, do you know his parents’ names?”
Luna was taken aback by this. “Yes, but he does not speak of them voluntarily.”
“He does not?”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded. “On the whole he seems most reluctant to discuss anything from his old world pertaining to his personal life. If I apply enough pressure he will tell, but I do not wish to seem intrusive.”
“Can you speculate why he behaves as such?” Celestia asked worriedly. “Could his home life have been…” she paused to consider a more delicate way of phrasing her next question, “less than ideal?”
“I do not think so,” Luna shook her head. “I had similar worries at first, but what he has said seems to be largely positive. Further, he does not seem to be showing the right signs.”
“Are you certain? I mean, he is human. His signs could be different from others.”
“I have considered this,” Luna nodded. “It would be simplest if he would let me into his dreams so I could know for certain. However, from what I have learned, about both his former life and his body language, I am fairly certain he was not abused. He is quiet and almost never speaks to anypony in a social manner unless he has had time to acquaint himself with their presence. He also tends to shut down rather easily when faced with any negative provocation or discouragement, but I do not think he is this way out of any sort of fear or conditioning. Perhaps the best way to describe it would be a simple preference for not making unwanted noise due to a tendency of overthinking things.”
“What about while he’s in bed?”
“More of a grunter than a screamer,” Luna smiled. “However, he will talk from time to time, narrating his actions and making sure that he’s not doing anything that I won’t approve of.”
“He’s still uncertain after all the time you’ve spent together?”
“In many respects, yes,” Luna sighed. “I once told him of my desire to take him as a stallion would, but his being bent left this prospect most unappealing to him.”
“Shame,” Celestia nodded. “What about your other, more exotic, appetites?”
Luna blushed. “I’ve honestly been a little hesitant to bring them up. I don’t want to cause anymore undue stress.”
“Fair enough. Out of curiosity, what was his job before serving you?”
“That one was easily discovered,” Luna said. “He used to work at a deli where he spent all day slicing meat and making sandwiches. It was boring and monotonous, according to him,” she emphasized. “But his favorite task was the sandwiches for the very reason that it was time consuming and repetitive. The task required just enough focus for him to perform his duties while still affording his mind a chance to wander.”
“Interesting,” Celestia nodded approvingly. “Did he ever say where his mind wandered to, though?”
“It seems my stallion was an aspiring young writer,” Luna answered proudly. “Though never published, he had a myriad of ambitious ideas. Alas, perhaps they were a bit too ambitious for him.”
“Has he written anything since his arrival, here?”
“Not as far as I can tell,” Luna bemoaned. “However, he has taken quite eagerly to helping Moonlight with her writing.”
“Oh yes,” Celestia remembered. “Tali said something about that. Apparently Thomas keeps suggesting slowing down the pace of the character relationships. Quite an interesting idea. From what you can tell, how goes the relationship of our young writers?”
“Tragically, also slow.” Luna bemoaned. “His suggestions in their writing seem reflective of his cultural views of how relationships should progress. I have had to reassure him several times in the past that our own progress was not too swift by pony standards. Further, when I inquire about his activities with his friends, it seems Moonlight has either not been sending any signals or he is completely ignorant of them. That aside, they seem to be getting along quite nicely, but that should be no surprise all things considered.”
“Both seem plausible,” Celestia analyzed thoughtfully. “But I’m leaning more towards the latter. Moony was most outgoing when she was younger, but seems to have become rather reserved in recent years.” The Princess snorted. “I’d dare say she may even believe that her position as his guard would make any romantic inclinations seem inappropriate.”
“Inappropriate?” Luna asked, tasting the word in her mouth as if it were some alien thing. “Did her father never tell her stories of his time in the harem?”
“It would seem he neglected to mention a number of important factors.”
“And it would seem I have been making the same mistake,” Luna sighed.
“Sister?”
“My explanations to dearest Thomas have also been lacking,” Luna confessed. “Reflecting, I realize not only have been neglecting to elaborate in some areas, I flat out forgotten a number of vital matters.” Luna grimaced. “At the time my intent was to encourage him to ask questions in an attempt to coax him out of his shell, but I fear I might truly have left him feeling neglected and-.” Luna was cut off by Celestia setting a hand on her knee. “Sister?”
Celestia offered her sister a tender smile. “No pony blames you, Lulu. Everything about this situation has been awkward for every pony involved.”
“Tia,” Luna sighed as she rested her hand on top of her sister’s.
“You tried something you thought would work. It didn’t go as well as expected, so logically you should try something else instead.”
“Fair enough,” Luna nodded. “What did you have in mind?”
“What other kinds of things does he like?”
Luna considered the question carefully until her ears stood in excitement. “Stories! He tells us stories.”
“Stories? What manner of stories?”
“Stories from his home world. Things he grew up with in… movies and television,” Luna remembered. “In this he has been most forth-coming.”
“As in what he described our world to be?”
“Indeed. We discussed the possibility of this television being a window into other worlds, but without evidence it is merely speculation… amusing speculation,” she added confidently. “For the most part, he simply enjoys seeing his mare’s reaction as he goes into detail about these fantastical worlds.”
Celestia nodded with equal parts thoughtfulness and approval. “What manner of stories does he tell?”
“All sorts,” Luna beamed. “Stories of great adventure and humble domestics. The intrigue of politics in both court and family. And,” she hesitated, “when appropriate, he likes to sing the songs from the stories. He’s not a bad vocalist. He also enjoys walking around the room, performing the actions of the characters. Tis quite the show.”
Celestia straightened her posture and smiled in elation at her sister, seemingly having forgotten her previous skepticism, only to frown once more. “And was it your intent to horde these stories all to yourself?”
Luna shuffled her wings guiltily, but could not keep the smile from her lips.
“Perhaps the next time he could recount some of these tales for the whole family?”
Luna’s brow furrowed a bit. “Perhaps, but not for all of them. While some of the tales would be most delightful for younger foals, if we take your meaning, there are others that are of a more… risqué humor.”
Celestia leaned over until she was invading Luna’s personal bubble. “I can only imagine which you prefer,” she snickered. “But if he likes putting on a show, then perhaps we should give him the chance.”
“I do believe I see where you are going with this,” Luna nodded. “Presumably more than just the family?”
“Indeed,” Celestia nodded. “Once his confidence is built, he might be willing to put on shows for the castle staff. I do not think we will encounter a shortage of actors willing to volunteer for a royal performance.”
Luna’s expression beamed with elation. “I do believe he would love that. Even if they are not his work, he will still be praised for bringing these stories to Equestria. Sister, you are brilliant.”
“I know,” Celestia beamed back. “But on the matter of him being the only member of your harem, how is it that he has managed to satisfy you every single night all by himself? Do human males truly have such endurance?”
“In a way,” Luna hesitated. “He has quite the natural fondness for foreplay we have never quite encountered in a stallion before. He actually becomes quite disappointed if he is not given a proper amount of time to properly show just how much he… adores our royal body,” Luna hummed in delight. “He even enjoys giving oral.”
Celestia blinked her head tilted to the side and ear flicked up to make sure she was hearing things correctly. “A stallion who enjoys giving oral to mares?” she waited as her sister nodded. “Now I really have to give him a try.”
“However,” Luna continued, a bit more hesitantly. “There have been times when he has required some… assistance.”
Celestia’s eyes went wide. “Sister. You haven’t… you have.” Celestia stood in anger. “You’ve been using magic to improve his performance.”
“It was just a little boost, initially,” Luna protested. “He was willing on the first night, but nervous. He was a virgin then, so we gave him a little… incentive.” Luna proceeded to explain the exact nature of the spell she used and how upset Thomas had become at tiring out so quickly without bringing her to orgasm. “Besides, do not act like you are a saint and above such things.”
“An enhancement or aphrodisiac once in a while is one thing, sister,” Celestia lectured. “But to do so on a regular basis is dangerous. Faust! If this had kept up, he might have suffered serious injury or even become addicted. Not to mention what this must have been doing to his self-esteem. Poor thing probably thinks he can only satisfy you while he’s enhanced.”
“He does not! We have not seen need for the spell in some time, and told him as much. He has grown more confident and he knows it. And do not judge us, sister!” Luna snapped defensively, standing to meet her sister in the eye. “We listened to Lady Sun Dancer’s suggestions and have made the attempt to further our verbal communication and to make sure he understands the more physical cues. Her advice was sound, and so we were willing to let thy prying pass. But a thousand years alone has left us in dire need for the touch of another. Or have thou forgotten?”
Now it was Celestia’s turn to bow in shame.
“Sister, no. We did not mean it that way. We just… ugh,” Luna slumped back into her chair. “We do not know. Perhaps choosing him was a mistake. We love him dearly, but perhaps we should not have-” Luna was cut off by the other alicorn’s sudden embrace, her sister holding true to her title and radiating with the warmth of a sun.
“Do not think such things, dear sister.”
“Tia?”
The Princesses stayed together for some time before Celestia pulled away and stared seriously into her sister’s watering eyes. “It was no mistake. He might not have been yours before, but there can be no doubt that it was meant to be. The fact that you so readily profess your love for him is proof enough of that. You may not be able to see it as I can just yet. You are still not as strong as you used to be, but I know you feel it. You were meant to be together, but he does not know why.” A gentle grin grew on Celestia’s lips. “That said, it was a mistake for you to influence his mind and body as you did, likely without him even noticing.”
“He knew,” Luna countered meekly. “We asked after he began to tire on the first night, and he agreed.”
“That should end, though.” Celestia motioned for Luna to sit back down as she followed suit. “He shall please you only to the extent of his natural ability, and you him. No more magic until you can be certain that he knows you want him for him.”
“Fair enough, sister.”
“I still do not fully understand the nature of how he came about his knowledge of Equestria, but it is obviously flawed in a number of key areas. He is like a child, still learning the ways of our world, and it is your duty to teach him.”
“Sister,” Luna smiled, wiping her eyes dry. “You always were such a nosy little filly.”
Celestia returned the smile, though much sadder. “The last time I neglected you, I nearly lost you forever. I’ll not be making the same mistake twice.”
The sisters returned to their embrace and stayed there for several minutes before they were interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Come in,” Celestia answered. The door opened and in walked a familiar griffon. “Talon. As always, your timing is impeccable.”
“It’s what I do,” Talon shrugged smugly. “Luna,” she nodded her greeting before looking back at Celestia. “Now what was it you wanted to see me for? I don’t suppose you’re ready to talk about the secrets with the chimp, are ya?”
Celestia gently shook her head. “I’m afraid that will have to wait. For now, I have an assignment for you.”
Talon nodded cautiously as she glanced at Luna. “It’s not going to involve your sister, is it?”
“Yes, actually.”
“What!?” Talon and Luna gasped.
“Nothing like that,” Celestia laughed as she stood to her full height and beckoned the griffon forward. “Not directly, anyway. It’s as you said, Tali. It seems that my sister has, shall we say, been having communication issues with her Senior Concubine in a number of key areas.”
“Stupid chimp,” Talon shook her head, “I told him a while ago that he didn’t get the full story before signing up. I told him to talk to his Princess, but he still didn’t do it. What is wrong with that colt?”
“It is hardly his fault,” Celestia asserted as she gestured to Luna. “Both of them have been caught up in the awkwardness of their respective situations. Which is why, my lovely Tali,” Celestia took the griffon’s claws in her hands, “I am temporarily loaning you to my sister.”
Talon cocked an eyebrow. “You sure about this, Leste?” she asked uneasily.
Celestia nodded at the griffon before turning to Luna. “Sister. Talon shall be temporarily stabled to your harem to assist Thomas in his duties as Senior Concubine. He trusts her as a friend and I trust her as mine. You two can… indulge if you wish, but this assignment is for the sake of building bridges, to help Thomas adjust to his role as you communicate more. And Talon,” she turned back to the griffon.
“Yeah, Leste.”
“You have been with me for ten years. You have also been like a second to Sun Dancer in aiding her in her duties. You are most qualified in knowing how a royal harem is meant to work from the perspective of a concubine. It shall be your task to help, as you say, the little chimp, find his hooves, or feet as the case may be. Do you both accept these terms?”
“You can count on me, babe,” Talon answered with a salute. “It’ll be just like back in the RGR where the sergeant has to break in the new lieutenant. Plus the little guy’s been training under me for a while now, so this’ll just be next step in his lessons.”
“Sister?” Celestia looked to Luna.
After a brief pause, Luna also nodded. “A third party could indeed catch what the two of us have been missing. This does sound like the best recourse for both of us,” she analyzed as she eyed up the griffon with a pleased smile. “We-I accept.”
Celestia nodded, clearly pleased with this outcome.
“The chimp’s still a little shaky about all this stuff,” Talon addressed Luna. “I joke with him a lot, but it’s pretty clear he’s been freaking out about the harem stuff for a while now.”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded seriously. “We were just talking about how I have been trying, with little success, to encourage him to ask questions on his own.”
“Yeah,” Talon sighed. “The little guy is just so quiet all the time. While some progress has definitely been made on that front, he’s still depressingly ignorant on the mechanics of a harem. I don’t think he even knows what stabling is.”
“Likely not,” Celestia interjected. “Which is why, if he is to adjust to his new life and role here, you both will need to explain all you can.”
“Speaking of explaining,” Talon raised a claw. “Just to clarify, I finally get to show the little guy just what he’s been missing out on?” She asked as she gestured down to her body.
“Hopefully,” Luna answered.
“Yes!” Talon declared as she pumped her fist victoriously.
“Oh please,” Celestia rolled her eyes. “Stop hesitating and tell us how you really feel.”
“Nah,” Talon waved a claw dismissively. “I’d much rather show him.”
“Only him?” Luna asked, pouting in mock dejection.
“Oh, how silly of me,” Talon said as she swaggered up to the Princess of the Night until their chests were mere inches apart. Though she was the smaller of the two alicorns, that still left her a head and a half taller than the griffon. Luna was also fuller in all the most important areas, but this only left Talon more hungry than jealous. “All this talk about communicating, and here I go forgetting to ask the lead mare if I can join.”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded sternly. “Most shameful.”
“So,” Talon began as she grabbed both of Luna’s hands and brought them up. “Do I have permission to tap the royal moon’s moon?”
“Hmm,” Luna pretended to consider. “I suppose that would be fine,” she hummed.
“And her herd?” Talon asked, pressing her claws against the alicorn’s larger hands.
“So long as he is willing,” Luna shrugged. “I cannot see any problem with him rutting you till you are sore the next night.”
Talon blinked. “Can he really do that?” She asked in amazement. “I mean, I know I’ve been working to build his confidence and stamina a bit but… just how good is he?”
Luna removed her hands from Talon’s grasp and turned to her sister. “Then I believe we are all settled?” she inquired, ignoring the dejected griffon.
It was finally Saturday. While technically Thomas was on duty, this was the day when he had Luna all to himself without any annoying nobles, boring meetings, or training with Tali. Nothing to do but enjoy the long night in the peace of each other’s company, especially after all that ‘apologizing’ Luna had done yesterday. After their morning ritual and the raising of the moon, Luna endeavored to dress herself into a casual t-shirt and knee-length skirt. Thomas elected to wear his uniform, for time-saving purposes.
There came a knock at the door. When Luna beckoned them in, the doors opened and a butler pushed a cart bearing several trays of food. He was followed by maids who carried in chairs specially crafted to fit the Princess and her concubine.
“We’re not having breakfast with the others tonight?” Thomas inquired as he eyed the food.
“Nay. Our sister is in need of her beauty sleep and her bed warmers could also use a bit of a rest,” Luna explained.
Thomas moved to pull Luna’s chair out for her, but a maid beat him to it. She gave an apologetic look when she realized what he’d intended to do, which he returned before another maid pulled out his own seat. The maid didn’t understand that it was basically a cultural miscommunication. The pair ate their meals in relative silence, finishing at roughly the same time. The cart and extra chairs were carried out and Thomas and Luna were left alone.
“So…” Thomas began in an awkward attempt to break the silence. “What did you want to do today?”
“What would you like?” Luna countered. “Always you ask what we have planned. Do you not have plans or desires of your own?”
Thomas shrugged. “You usually have stuff that needs to be done. I just tag along for the ride.”
“Well not this night. This night, we shall let thee,” tap, “you decide our activities.”
“Then…” Thomas pondered. “Since you wanted to do so earlier, why don’t we go on a real date?”
“Real?” Luna flicked an ear. “What do you mean by that?”
“Not to say that I haven’t enjoyed being with you,” Thomas explained casually. “But sometimes it feels like we rushed into this a bit. I know you said that that’s normal, but it still feels like we, I don’t know, should have gone through more steps before…” he trailed off, blushing.
Luna’s lips puckered as she nodded thoughtfully. “You have a point,” she began, cutting Thomas off. “The manner in which we have courted you has been… unusual, to say the least. We apologize for not being mindful of your feelings earlier. There are, as you said, normally more steps that ponies observe while courting. Perhaps, to make up for it, our relationship could stand to benefit from indulging in a few courtship rituals, particularly those steps we missed.”
“Courtship?” Thomas puzzled before choosing his next words as carefully as possible. “Sorry, but don’t you already, kinda, well… own me?”
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “You are not our slave, dearest Thomas. You are a free citizen of Equestria, who just so happens to earn a living serving your Princess in a rather… unique fashion. You are our stallion. And as a mare, your mare, it would be most unseemly if you were not courted properly.”
“Yeah. I guess so,” Thomas agreed with a smile as he reflected on the revelation that he was, in fact, herded to Luna. He’d asked for clarification and it turns out that marriage was something reserved for nobility or those who could afford the expensive ceremony. So while they were not technically husband and wife, herd-mate held the same social meaning. However, even that much was not public knowledge, for reasons he still wasn’t clear on. Still, the knowledge that he wasn’t actually a prostitute had been a great relief, but at the same time he couldn’t help but feel something about this was a bit off. However, the more he thought about it, the more he warmed up to the idea of Princess Luna courting him. “Sure. So, how do we start these courtship rituals?”
“Hmm,” Luna wondered. “Well, before the actual date, there are a number of formalities to be observed. For instance, the mare must first make the stallion aware that she is interested.”
It was cute the way Luna seemed to be channeling Twilight and Thomas couldn’t help but smile. “Alright. So, how do you-eep!” he yelped as Luna pulled him into her embrace and cupped her hand firmly against his left butt cheek while her breasts half consumed his face.
“This. Is. Mine.” Luna said in a deep, sultry tone, her voice heavy with desire. “Free citizen or no, this,” she squeezed, “cute coltish plot is the property of the Princess of the Night.” She finished by batting her eyelids seductively.
“Wow,” was all Thomas could say as he felt his heart pound against his chest. “So that’s how a mare does it?”
“Not normally, no,” Luna corrected, continuing to playfully knead his butt. “There are more subtle gestures, but never mind them. We need to be direct as you might miss normal courting signals,” she growled. “Now that the mare has made her intent known, the stallion must let her know if he reciprocates.”
“Reciprocates, huh?” Thomas asked, fighting to urge to moan into Luna’s touch. “I suppose it goes without saying that simply saying ‘yes’ won’t do?”
“Not normally, no,” Luna batted her eyelids again. “This is a pony courting. You may do as you like, but I would like to see your intent through your actions. Subtle gestures and signals are generally what are used. Words can come later. For example, if you had a tail, you would entangle it with mine.”
Actions, huh? She’s trying to teach me the pony way, but that look in her eye suggests she’s doing this just as much for herself as me. That’s fine, but what should I do? Thomas thought back to observations about ponies showing affection to one another. The first thing to come to mind was nuzzling, but that seemed a bit too common and a hug didn’t seem to send the right message either. He’d seen a lot of tail wagging when guards and servants ducked behind corners with one another, but that was out too. Then he had something. Smiling up at Luna, he motioned for her to come down to his level.
Luna’s expression a mix of curiosity and excitement, she obliged and lowered her head to his level. Without warning, Thomas lunged and took her ear between his lips, gently kneading the fuzzy lobe between his teeth. Luna gasped is shock, but as the teething continued, she began to moan and lean into it, which Thomas took as a sign she approved and continued. It was fun playing with her.
“T-Thomas,” Luna sighed. However, she was unable to say more as the human took her head in his hands, released her ear, and then maneuvered her head so he could better access her other ear. “Urgh,” the alicorn groaned in delight.
“Sorry,” Thomas said, but the look on his face showed he held no remorse whatsoever. “I just felt your ears needed to be balanced.”
“Balanced?” Luna exhaled as she stood back to her full height, casting a shadow over her assailant. “Is that a human custom?”
“A little, but it’s more like a ‘me’ thing. It bugs me when things look out of balance.”
“Does it now?” Luna asked playfully as she quickly ducked down and gave his left cheek a brief lick. She pulled back and returned Thomas’ disapproving frown with a coy smile.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes I think you’re a little evil,” Thomas deadpanned.
“Sometimes you might just be right,” Luna smirked before dipping back down and balancing his other cheek.
“So, did I show I reciprocated, or does my mare need more?”
Luna leered down at Thomas. “You know very well we need more, but that can wait till later. Also, for future reference, an especially affectionate nuzzle would more than suffice.”
“Especially affectionate?”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded. “As distinct from that which you would give a friend.” She read Thomas’ confused eyes and knew he did not understand. “We suppose you will just have to experiment until you know the difference.”
Thomas chuckled. “So, does that mean we’re ready to start?”
“Verily,” Luna gave a confident nod before turning her body to face the door and clapped her hands twice. “Moonlight Shield. Swift Scabbard. Your presence is required.”
The doors opened and the two guards marched in where they stood at attention before the alicorn. “Yes, Princess Luna,” they said in unison.
Luna stood and motioned for Thomas to follow her to the center of the room. “We have decided to venture amongst the citizenry this night and partake of the modern custom of dating. However, we do not wish to do as Princess and concubine.”
“Understood, Princess,” Swift nodded.
“Pardon?” Moonlight asked. “What’s understood?”
“Yeah. Um…” Thomas was cut off his vision came under assault from a brilliant light from Luna’s horn. The flash was short, but his eyes still took a bit to adjust. “Wha… what happened?” His vision still blurry, Thomas felt one hand cup over his eyes while another grasped his shoulder and push him gently across the room.
“Thomas. You now face a mirror,” Luna instructed calmly. “Do not be alarmed by what you are about to see.” And she removed her hand.
As the human’s vision became more solid, he braced himself to look in the mirror. “What the hell!?”
Standing in the reflective surface was not the human’s familiar, lanky form, but a taller, more muscular unicorn with white fur and a messy brown mane. After the initial shock wore off and he accepted that he was indeed looking at a reflection, Thomas studied the figure in the mirror more carefully, occasionally daring to glance down just to remind himself that these changes were real. It was disconcerting, but also a little exhilarating. He had a respectable build and what looked like at least a foot taller than he used to have. His eyes, though bigger, were the same shade of green and his hair looked the same. He was still wearing his uniform, which, to his embarrassment, seemed to hold a much larger package than he was used to; seriously, it looked like he was trying to smuggle a large sausage and a couple apples. It was all he could do to resist the urge to check. Turning his body slightly, he found a messy brown tail coming out from just above his rump. Speaking of which, upon his flank was a cutie mark.
“Illusion magic,” Luna said simply. “Do you approve?”
Thomas suddenly became aware of the mare speaking in Luna’s voice and wearing Luna’s clothes. She wasn’t an alicorn, as she had no wings and her horn had been shortened, but a sky-blue unicorn with a plain violet mane and tail, both rather curly and of moderate length. The unicorn had Luna’s teal eyes, which she used to stare up at Thomas as he was now the taller of the pair.
“What?”
“Tis an old trick Tia and I would employ from time to time,” the unicorn explained using Luna’s voice and inflections. “We disguise ourselves as commoners in order to go out and see what our citizens are really like when they aren’t tripping over themselves to bow to us. Tis a most refreshing activity and the perfect guise with which to venture out into the city, unmolested.”
Eventually, after he’d finished gawking, Thomas allowed himself to really think about the merits of this idea. It was easier after Luna explained that this was all just an illusion and that his body was not really changed. This became evident after he went in back to change into one of the sets of clothes he’d purchased with Talon and the colt-sized clothes had adjusted themselves to fit over his more stallion-like physique.
However, the illusion was incredibly convincing. Thomas stretched his arms out and felt the added weight of his more toned body, or at least thought he did. It all felt awfully real. He ran his hands over his arms and marveled at the realistic softness of the fur and the lines of his muscles. He gave his tail a tug, which felt weird in a way he couldn’t describe. He touched his horn experimentally and sent shivers of delight down his own body, which unicorn Luna giggled at. Next he turned back to face the mirror. It was still weird to have this strange stallion look back at him and did as he did. However, when he forced himself to see the stallion as his reflection, a thought demanded to make itself known.
“I’m sexy.”
“This is news to you,” unicorn Luna tittered as she approached his side and locked arms. She sighed as she let her head rest on his shoulder. “Do not be fooled by this little mirage. It is little more than a piece of eye candy and in no way reflects upon your true appeal, my stallion, dearest Thomas.”
Her words combined with the feeling of her fur left Thomas feeling very warm inside, though he was still mindful of her horn. However, there was one more thing that needed to be said. “You could have asked,” he said plainly.
Luna’s ears perked and she looked up at his neutral expression, and then her ears splayed in realization at what she’d done. “You are right. In my excitement, I acted in haste without taking the time to follow the most basic of considerations. I am sorry,” she whispered.
Stallion Thomas smiled and tightened his grip around her arm. “You’re really that excited to take this guy,” he motioned to the mirror, “out on a date?” Jesus, you’re a pushover.
“Oh, he’s not that bad,” Luna shrugged. “I could most certainly do worse.”
Thomas gave Luna a playful shove, which she returned. “Just ask next time, okay?”
“Most certainly.”
When the issue of money came up, Luna insisted that for this to be a proper date, it was only right for the mare to pay. Thomas tried to insist, suggesting that she paid his salary anyway and that he could use it to buy her a gift, but she would have none of it. It was the mare’s place to buy her stallion the presents on a first date, but she agreed to let him try things the human way next time. After which, she shared a coy smile with Moonlight and the mares laughed at their private joke.
Swift left his helmet on the night stand and began to undress as Moonlight did the same. The guards were to accompany the pair on their outing, but under the guise of off-duty guards so they wouldn’t attract any unwanted attention. It was also suggested, by a certain sky-blue unicorn who seemed to be enjoying herself a little too much, that they pretend to be out on a date of their own, but that idea was rejected by both guards. However, Luna did request that Moonlight was to disrobe entirely, unlike Swift who was allowed the trousers and shirt he wore under his armor. If she didn’t, Luna threatened to order to her to lock arms with Thomas as his second date. Moonlight couldn’t get out of her armor fast enough, much to Luna’s satisfaction and Thomas’ embarrassment.
**********
Walking around Canterlot in the guise of a common pony was indeed refreshing. Not one pony gave him a second glance of fear, marvel, or disgust as he walked down the street. It was nice to finally fit in. Not even the mare whose hand he was holding got that much attention. They both blended into the crowd perfectly, even with the clearly off-duty guards walking as casually as they could by their side.
“How is it, dearest Thomas? Do you approve of the appearance we’ve chosen for you?”
“It’s pretty good,” the pony-looking human boasted as he glanced down over his body for the fourth time since leaving the castle. “However, I was wondering about the cutie mark,” he gestured at the flank hidden beneath the pants.
“What about it?”
Thomas pulled the waist of his pants out just enough for him to look down at his flank. Upon his fur was adorned the image of a blue heart with a white moon rising behind it. “Real subtle there, Pr- I mean… what do I call you now?”
“Sapphire,” Luna answered. “Our name in this guise shall be Blue Sapphire. You can be Moon Lover.”
Thomas glared down at the mare beside him. “Do you even know what subtlety is?”
“Such impertinence,” Luna puffed her lip out in an adorable pout. “While these illusions are most impressive, do not let them make you forget which of us is truly the more power-FUL!” Luna yelped as an arm reached around her shoulder and pulled her into her stallion’s broad chest.
“I won’t forget,” Thomas promised as he leaned in and nuzzled the mare’s cheek. It felt strange to do this with Luna while she looked so different, but her antics, manner of speech, and even the feel of her fur were enough to reassure him that, while odd, he was still with Luna, so this was fine. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to take full advantage of this situation,” he teased shamelessly, apparently oblivious to the guards who were averting their eyes.
“On that topic, what do you think of our shape?” Luna inquired.
A red flag went off in Thomas’ brain at the question. He knew he’d need to tread lightly. After these last few months in Equestria, Thomas had learned enough about pony features to know that the image Luna had chosen was not unattractive by any stretch, though he couldn’t specify in detail. Overall, while still very sexy, it was far plainer than her usual form. While he thought this, he noticed the unicorn’s ears stand in anticipation of his answer. “You think I could get away with saying that you’re as pretty as the Princess of the Night?”
Luna stared stoically before allowing her lips to crack a smile. “A bit cheap, but that would be satisfactory.” She sounded a bit disappointed, but at least she wasn’t angry, and that was what mattered most.
Thomas gave a relieved sigh at dodging such a bullet as the four continued walking.
Moonlight strained not to smile. It was nice how much Thomas and Luna opened up around one another. However, it was still a bit jarring to hear the familiar voices come out of these strange ponies. Luna was quite beautiful, but she suspected that Thomas didn’t fully appreciate what a hunk he’d been turned into. He looked like he belonged on the front page for Stud Weekly, not that she’d ever admit to reading such a thing. The mare’s mind then drifted to the fact that she was the only member of the group who was naked. Unlike Thomas, she was a pony and had no reason to feel embarrassed by her body, but on that same token she had caught him stealing several glances at her. Why? Granted the attention from such a fine stallion was nice, but it was still Thomas. That made it different… somehow, right?
Since their walk began, Thomas had stolen several glances at Moonlight, but he was certain she hadn’t noticed yet. Outside her armor, she had a nice body with a toned stomach and respectable D-cups, which were especially large on her larger pony frame. Thomas felt guilty for staring at the naked mare for a number of reasons. Besides the fact that he was currently locked arms with his herd-mate, there was also the fact that Moonlight was his friend. He wouldn’t want to damage that relationship by making her feel awkward. However, she didn’t seem to mind. The guard was walking about, naked as the day she was born, and didn’t seem to care one bit. It was her culture, after all. Regardless, Thomas still felt weird for staring at his naked friend for no other apparent reason than this was the first time he’d seen her naked. Also, her nipples were more of a peach color and… thankfully, that train of thought was broken as a screech echoed down the street. Thomas and company turned to face the source and down from the heavens descended a familiar face.
“Talon!?” Moonlight exclaimed.
“In the feather,” Talon boasted, setting her claws on her hips and thrust her uniform-covered pelvis forward. “That said, what are you doing away from your post, smarty-corn?”
“I, uh…” Moonlight stuttered until she came upon a counter. “I could say the same of you,” she pointed accusingly, proud of her clever thinking.
Talon, on the other hand, was much less impressed as she folded her arms across her chest. “If you’d said you asked for a day off with your coltfriend,” she gestured to Swift, “I might have bought it. But now you’ve got me thinking there’s something suspicious going on.”
Moonlight froze, locking her mouth shut to keep from betraying any more information.
Talon looked the two guards over a moment until she noticed the two unicorns beside them. “And who might you two be?”
“M-my name’s Moon Lover,” Thomas said as confidently as he could. “And this here is-”
“Chimp? Princess Luna!?” Talon blurted.
Three of the four ponies were frozen in shock; all except for Luna who smiled and nodded. “How did you discern our identities?”
Talon flipped her head feathers back and smirked confidently. “Who do you think you’re talking to?” Pointing at the two guards, “My first clue was the two guards of Luna and the chimp walking together, trying not to look suspicious, which only makes them look even more suspicious to one with a keen eye. Top it off with smarty-corn’s obvious lie and we got ourselves a mystery.” She then gestured to Thomas and Luna. “Next we have two strange unicorns who don’t walk away from the strange griffon, which makes me think maybe we’re not strangers. Compile that with the fact that you forgot to disguise the chimp’s voice and smell, not to mention Leste’s done the exact same thing to go on dates with me and the others, and there ya go. Mystery solved.”
Luna clapped her hands together in mild applause. “Well done, Lady Talon. Well done. However, for the remainder of the night, it would be appreciated if you were to refer to us as Blue Sapphire and Moon Lover, respectively.”
Talon turned her attention to Thomas and he could see the gears turning in her brain, working diligently on all possible ways she could use this situation to tease him. His assessment was not disappointed.
“Moon Lover. Lover of the Moonbutt,” Talon said frankly. “Fitting.”
“Oh hardy har,” Thomas said dryly. “Go on. Get it out of your system so we can get on with it.”
Talon scowled at Thomas’ dismissal. “The buck you talking about, colt? I’m coming with you.”
“Do what now?” Thomas stuttered.
“Yeah. Luna invited me,” Talon gestured to the unicorn clinging to Thomas before pulling out a letter. “I got this from her a little while ago. She said if I could find the suspicious thing in Canterlot and solve the mystery, I could join in the fun. I found a group of suspicious ponies and used my expertise and superior senses to work out that you were in disguise. Now I get to join, right?”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded.
“When’d you send her a letter?” Thomas asked the unicorn nuzzling his arm.
“We do things when you are not looking,” Luna snickered.
“Do you know how wrong that sounded?” Thomas deadpanned.
“Verily,” Luna proclaimed softly. “And now that our party is complete, there is another matter we must attend to,” she explained as she beckoned the guard mare forward. “Moonlight Shield.”
“Yes, Princess.”
“For the remainder of the evening, thou art,” tap, “you are forbidden from referring to me as Princess. Call me Luna. Or, for the sake of our disguise, Blue.”
Moonlight gulped nervously. She glanced over at Swift, but all he offered was a shrug. “As you wish… Blue.”
“Further, you are to behave as if this were your day off. Relax and smile. If Moon Lover here makes a fool of himself, feel free to laugh.”
“Hey!”
“This is gonna be fun,” Talon prophesized excitedly. “I like this Princess.”
Talon had taken Moonlight’s lack of armor, as well as Luna’s order to relax, as an open invitation to cling to the guard mare the same way Luna was clinging to Thomas. The guard did not seem to entirely approve, but gave no resistance except for the occasion she had to swat at the griffon’s claw to stop it from wandering places it shouldn’t. Swift quietly volunteered to fall back a few steps and keep safely silent. Smart bastard. No doubt years of herded life had wizened him up to the hazards of mares gathering like this. Still, Swift felt guilty at not being able to save Thomas as he would his own stallion.
“Ay Blue,” Talon called to Luna. “Just a couple of lucky gals on a romantic moonlight stroll with our very special someponies.”
“You shouldn’t address the Prin… I mean Blue so informally,” Moonlight grumbled. “It’s rude.”
“Rude? But Blue’s just a regular old unicorn and that’s how we should treat her.”
“You shouldn’t call her old, at least,” Thomas countered. His defense was awarded with a firmer nuzzling of his arm.
“My stallion comes to the defense of his mare,” Luna gloated playfully. “What can yours do?”
Talon eyed Moonlight carefully until she came up with an answer. “Mine can stay rigid all night long.”
Thomas and Moonlight turned varying shades of crimson while Luna and Talon laughed at their expense. Swift silently thanked Faust he was out of the line of fire.
“Aww,” Talon cooed. “I think we upset the stallion.”
“Why do you frown, dearest Moon Lover,” Luna snickered. “Come. Join us in the revelry of commoners!”
“It’s just… I’ve never seen this side of you before,” Thomas admitted. “You’re so… loud.”
Luna tilted her head as she looked up at the stallion. “Do you not approve?”
“What? No. You’re great. You just kinda caught me by surprise, is all.”
“Then rejoice, dearest Lover, for the adventure of seeing your special somepony in a new light. Come. This is a night that demands celebration!”
“Can’t celebrate without liquor,” Talon added.
“Verily! Yes. We must partake of the booze.”
“Sounds like you’ve had enough already,” Moonlight grumbled, causing the party to come to a sudden halt as all eyes fell on her and making the naked mare feel very self-conscious.
“There ya go!” Talon cheered with a slap to the mare’s back. “That’s my mare. See how much better it is to loosen up? Oh, and here’s the perfect place to do it.”
The restaurant Talon had gestured to was Dusk’s Cider House. Their destination set, the party marched on until the griffon stopped them outside the door and pointed at the sign. “Mares’ Night. All mares drink for half price.”
“Do you count as a mare?” Thomas asked the griffon, only to have his concern met with a swift elbow to the ribs from Luna. “What?”
The blue unicorn mare merely rolled her eyes.
“I’m not the one we should be worrying about here,” Talon advised as she turned to face Luna, smiling sinisterly as her eyebrows bounced suggestively.
Luna puzzled at the griffon until her face donned with realization and she turned the same evil grin up to Thomas.
“What are you two getting at?” Thomas asked nervously.
“That’s a very handsome illusion you’ve got going for you,” Talon commented threateningly. “Be a shame if something happened to it.”
“What are you… Oh hell no!” Before Thomas could protest further, Luna enacted her deadly strategy of pouty lips and puppy dog eyes.
“Dearest Lover.”
“No,” Thomas said flatly.
“Thy illusion is so charming,” she pressed her chest against his.
“I’m not listening.”
“Just imagine how much more adorable it would be with a few… tweaks.”
“If there’s tweaking to be done, I’ll gladly volunteer,” Talon added.
“Still not listening.”
“Lover,” Luna said with her deepest, most sensual voice. It was an underhanded and dirty tactic, but undeniably effective as Luna felt her stallion’s pants begin to tighten. “Dearest Lover. Your mare longs to see you play dress up.”
“Y-you,” Thomas strained to say as he looked down at the pouting mare. “You’re evil.”
Luna blinked and her smile widened. “Are we to take that as a yes?” she asked as she leaned forward until her snout was barely an inch from his.
Thomas stared back at the mare’s lips. They weren’t Luna’s, but at the same time they were. They puckered invitingly. Her tongue extended and slowly wet them. God damn this mare. He leaned in the rest of the way, accepting his kiss and the consequences.
Needing no further prompting, Luna tightened her grip around his right arm and Talon locked her arm around his left.
“No escape, chimp. We’re having us a mares’ night out.”
Moonlight’s head swiveled as she came to the same realization at the others. At first she looked at Thomas with sympathetic worry, which he appreciated, but it quickly faded into an indifferent shrug.
“Et tu, Moonlight?”
“I don’t know what that means,” Moonlight confessed coldly. “But if it’s any consolation, it’s just an illusion. I’m certain this won’t lead to mood swings or anything.”
“That’s not funny,” Thomas snarled.
“Twas quite funny, actually,” Luna argued.
There was a moment of silence before the mares and griffon, as one, turned to face Swift Scabbard. The stone faced guard stared defiantly back. For a moment it looked like Talon was about to accept the challenge, but she decided against it; not because she didn’t think she could handle him, but because she didn’t think he was fun enough to mess with. The mares maneuvered past him, carrying the semi-consenting Thomas off into a nearby alleyway.
**********
“Mares’ night out!” Luna, Talon, and Moonlight cheered together from their booth, holding up their drinks to toast their celebration. The remaining mare at the table was not so enthusiastic. On the other hand, the stallion, who had volunteered to sit at a nearby table where he could have a better view of the restaurant, seemed perfectly content.
“Come now, Lover,” Luna encouraged the white mare with green eyes beside her. “Celebrate this joyous occasion.”
“Why me?” the mare grumbled, cringing at the sound of her own voice.
“Buck up, chimp,” Talon reached across the table and messed the mare’s mane. “It ain’t that bad. Besides, you look good as a mare.”
“Yes,” Moonlight added, struggling to keep a straight face as she spoke. “You have a very… lovely… figure.” The façade of propriety fell and the unicorn guard burst out laughing.
“Yeah, chimp. You’re freaking hot!” Talon cheered. “And your boobs look fantastic. I just wanna pounce on ya and motorboat those babies all night long.”
Thomas did his very best to sink into the cushioned seat and disappear into the fabric, but his efforts were in vain as Luna, still wielding her alicorn strength, repeatedly pulled him back up to face the merciless teasing of his friends. Luna had modified the illusion around him to that of a mare. Worse, she conjured a mirror to show Thomas that he was an exceptionally attractive mare with a generous bosom, soft feminine features, and a butt that was almost on par with Fluttershy. He’d been allowed to keep his green eyes, messy brown mane, and superior height relative to Luna’s illusion, but such things were of little consolation to the noticeably greater weight around his chest and thighs.
“Now, now ladies,” Luna chided. “We’ve had our fun and it’s time to leave dearest Lover what dignity SHE has left.” The Princess’ joke was met with a new round of laughter from the others.
“There has to be some kind of law against this,” Thomas grumbled, lamenting that his voice had also been changed to be much more feminine.
“Nothing against the spell,” Luna remarked. “However, we might be charged with fraud if anypony discovers that we cast such a spell for discount drinks.”
“Wait, what?” Moonlight paled as she choked her drink down before whispering. “Are you serious? We can’t do this. What if somepony finds out? The scandal of the Princess stealing drinks… the papers will never let it die.”
“Tis not that bad,” Luna dismissed.
“But…”
“So long as nopony finds out, it is alright. The penalty for a crime such as this would only be a small fine anyway. However, we intend to make a generous donation to this fine establishment that will make up for their lost revenue and then some.”
“If you’re going to spend more money anyway,” Thomas seethed, “then why bother doing this at all?” Thomas’ answer came as a hand beneath his feminine chin and pulled him down into a kiss with the blue unicorn. It really was that easy to make the human in a mare’s body forget that the rest of the world existed as he leaned into the kiss.
When Luna finally pulled back from the kiss, she gave Thomas a seductive smile. “You know, you really are a handsome mare,” she consoled as her eyes trailed up and down Thomas’ body, admiring her work proudly. “And while we shall have to remember this shape in the future for… things, never forget that you are my stallion.”
“I…” Thomas stuttered.
“Hey!”
Thomas was pulled from the trance of Luna’s eyes, along with his own imagination, by the sudden outburst. Talon had smacked Moonlight in the face when her wings suddenly flared out.
“Sorry,” Talon mumbled as she struggled to bring her wings back under control while Moonlight fumed at her. “Not my fault though. That one was deliberately provoking me,” she pointed an accusing claw at the sky-blue unicorn.
“We, that is to say, I do not know of what you speak,” Luna scoffed haughtily. “However, we seem to have gotten off track of what’s really important here,” she said seriously as she turned to the larger mare beside her. “Dearest Lover, how does it feel being a mare?”
Thomas’ white furred cheeks turned a shade pink. He, or perhaps she, looked up and, by chance, met Swift Scabbard’s eyes. She looked pleadingly at his fellow male, who had somehow managed to escape this torture, but the guard merely turned and focused on the waiter. “Traitor,” he swore, deciding he’d just stick with ‘he’.
“Leave him be,” Luna consoled. “This is all about you. Go on then. Tell us what it’s like, Moonbutt Lover.” The females giggled at Luna’s latest joke.
“Am I being punished?” Thomas bemoaned in such a way that was more good natured whining than hurt.
“Certainly not,” Luna assured. “Your courting is no different whether you wear the appearance of a mare or stallion. It is still you whom I desire,” she quickly glanced down. “And your fine plot. Now cease thy stalling and speak.”
Thomas grumbled under his breath, but took a measure of solace in Luna’s words. “My voice sounds really weird.” The mares nodded in silent acknowledgment. “My chest is heavy.”
“Is it, really?” Talon asked. “How heavy is it? Like having a pair of big apples tied to your chest, or are we talking melons?”
“Can we please talk about something else?” Thomas begged.
“I’m afraid, my Lady, you are the most interesting thing in the room,” Moonlight said sympathetically, as her eyes resumed crawling over the mare. She knew he was still a stallion, or rather a male, and that beneath the coating of physical magic was the undeniable phallus that proved as much (though she’d yet to get a good look at it), but why did she find this so fascinating? And why was she thinking about his phallus to begin with? She’d grown up with a father and brothers, been to school, and even went outside, so it’s not like male genitalia was something she’d never seen before. But Thomas had always been so bashful about exposing himself. Perhaps his behavior had made her start to wonder exactly what it was he was trying to hide. Maybe the idea of a mystery to be uncovered was exciting her? But even ignoring that, why was his new appearance as a mare making her feel so strange? Then again, these new feelings had only been compounded onto what she had felt when he became that hunk of a stallion. “Only thing to do is bite the bullet and wait till we get bored with you,” she added nervously, hoping that playing along would take her mind off of these strange questions.
“Gonna be a looooooong wait,” Talon cheered. “But maybe you need a frame of reference. Ya know, Leste’s changed me into a dude a few times.”
“She did?” Moonlight asked.
“Well duh. Mare was curious what griffon cock was like, so she asked me to show her.”
“That really is rude and not at all appropriate discussion for a restaurant,” Moonlight chided.
“You want rude huh?” Talon challenged. “Yo Blue. Did you know I buck your sister?”
Moonlight spat out her drink, somehow managing to only spray Thomas who glared at her. “Sorry,” she apologized meekly.
“It has been suggested,” Luna laughed casually. “But do go on about what it was like to become a male. Were you only given the phallus or was it a full illusion?”
“Full deal,” Talon reminisced. “I was bigger, felt stronger, but also a bit clumsier. The new body takes some getting used to. It was… tingly,” she shrugged. “My nipples weren’t that sensitive. They were still sensitive, but less so. Feeling anything like that, chimpete?”
The mare in question breathed heavily, trying to move her shirt against her chest while the others were watching. All things considered, she was just as curious about this new body as they were, if only he could explore it under less public conditions.
“The illusion affects the body, but not the mind,” Talon continued. “Stallions and mares didn’t seem more or less appealing than they naturally did. I was still me, just with a rubber hose dangling between my legs,” she explained to a round of snickers. “It was so weird feeling that thing rub between my legs, like having a second tail or something. Thing had a mind of its own, always making sure everyone knew what I was thinking. Seriously, it was worse than wings. I don’t know how male griffons manage to walk around without tripping over themselves. Though I did have the urge to walk around Canterlot and give everyone a good look at my glorious male meat.”
“So to confirm,” Moonlight interjected, “you were no less a pervert than you are normally.”
“You got it, orange boobs,” Talon beamed down at the unicorn’s bosom.
Moonlight tried to turn her back to the griffon. In a normally nudist society, she’d never once felt embarrassed about her body, until just now. Then again, no pony had ever commented on her breasts in such a seductive tone before. Worse yet, she was still mulling over her feelings about ‘Moon Lover’ and wasn’t sure if she liked it or not. There was no denying that he was attractive as a stallion or mare. Luna had seen to that. But there was also no denying that his natural form was much cuter… not that she’d noticed.
“But then I got to thinking,” Talon resumed her story. “What’s it like being a pony? So Leste did me over, I was a very lovely pegasus mare, and that was its own adventure.”
“Ah,” Luna exhaled. “This sounds like the matter most relevant to Lover’s predicament.”
“Hello ladies,” the waiter greeted, pushing up a cart of food. The group dug in, thankfully postponing the discussion of Thomas’ marehood in favor of retelling the recent adventure in Ponyville. Alas, this was not to last.
“Anyway,” Talon leaned in and motioned for Luna to do the same. She whispered something in the blue unicorn’s ear, causing her eyes to widen as she grinned at Thomas.
“What?”
“Lady Talon has informed me of a most interesting feature that distinguishes ponies from other beings.”
Thomas looked up at her horn.
“No,” Luna shook her head, mane swaying with her motions. “But you’re close.”
Before Thomas could inquire further, she felt the most amazing sensation from the top of her head. Luna was massaging her ears.
“Ooh,” Talon gushed. “I think she like that.”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded as she increased the pressure of her fingers, eliciting a low moan from Thomas.
“Aww,” Moonlight cooed. “You two are just so cute together.” She froze upon hearing the words that had just left her mouth, only to be shaken out of it by Talon.
“They are, aren’t they? Which is why it’s gonna be my job to make sure they stay cute.”
“Say what?” Thomas was broken from her ear massage trance.
Talon smiled at her, then at Luna. “Yours truly has been put on loan to the mighty Moonbutt.”
Thomas and Moonlight gawked at this revelation.
“You can do that?” Thomas asked.
“Sister and I have been known to partake in the practice of stabling from time to time,” Luna explained. “This is along the lines of a loan, a temporary reassignment between harems.”
“This is all on you, chimp,” Talon pointed at Thomas. “Leste seems to think you and Moonbutt aren’t exactly communicating as well as you should, not to mention you’ve been pretty reluctant about the idea of expanding the harem till now. So until further notice, I’m your new herd-mate, like a sparring partner or a friendly couple’s psychist.”
“Its psychiatrist,” Thomas corrected.
“Right. What’d I say?”
Thomas looked down at Luna, who bore a much more solemn expression. “Is… is this really necessary?”
Luna stared at Thomas in silence. The splaying of his ears, along with certain other gestures, were clear signs that he was uncomfortable with all of this. Noting how much easier he was to read while in the guise of a pony, she briefly considered keeping him in the illusion long term. However, that idea was short lived and repelled by her disgust. This was exactly what Celestia had been talking about, using her magic instead of taking the time to learn his body language. A knot started to form in the alicorn’s stomach as she began to consider how hurt Thomas might be if he thought she preferred him as a pony and she began chastising herself for giving him the illusion and then laughing at his expense. “Thomas,” Luna breathed deeply. “W-I am the one at fault here. I have discussed the matter with Lady Talon, as well as my sister, and there can be no doubt that my failure to properly explain your role has caused you considerable distress.”
As uncomfortable as Thomas had been earlier, the sudden shift in atmosphere made it even worse. This all seemed to be moving way too fast. “C-can I go use the bathroom?” Luna nodded and he was off.
Moonlight stood to follow, but Talon pulled her back down. “Might be best to give ‘em a few minutes to think on his own.”
Thomas ran to the adjacent restrooms. He almost entered the one marked for stallions, only to look at his breasts and remember that the illusion of a mare’s body was still in place. With much trepidation, he pushed the door open to the domain where man fears to tread, the mare’s restroom. Upon taking one step in, he was immediately accosted by another pony and both fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs.
“Agh,” the mare groaned. “Are you alright?”
“I think so,” Thomas shook his head, suddenly becoming aware of an extra heavy weight on his chest and looked up. To his horror, his face was mere inches away from the naked mare’s exposed behind. Her crotch was smooth and the smell of her slightly parted sex wafted into Thomas’ nostrils. Her pink pucker contrasted nicely against the gray fur of her pert buttocks and tensed as she flexed. The rump in question spread open further as the mare brought her legs forward to help prop herself up. Eventually she slung a leg over his head, inadvertently bringing her taint even closer to his face for a brief moment, as she pulled the rest of her body off of him.
“I am so sorry,” the mare pleaded with a mildly Prench accent as she sat beside her victim on the tiled floor. She was a silver-gray bat pony with large leathery wings and a white mane with a light gray stripe. Her breasts were a respectably perky C-cup and her eyes were the same shade of indigo as Luna’s fur. She wore a gold necklace with a large diamond in the middle with four emeralds to either side. Upon her bare flank was a silver bell tied with a red ribbon that gave it an almost Christmas look. She was also short. Her features were that of a mare in her early twenties, at most, but she was easily the smallest adult pony Thomas had ever seen, seeming only slightly taller than he normally would be. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. Please tell me you’re not hurt.”
“Don’t worry,” Thomas assured as he pulled himself up and propped himself on his arms, trying to focus on explosions from action movies to take his mind off the lingering smell. “I’m sure you’ll get over it.”
“Oh? Oh!” the Prench mare realized, giggling cutely as her ears splayed in embarrassment. “I’m glad to hear that,” she stood and offered her hand to pull him up. “My name’s Silver Bell by the way. What’s yours?”
“T…” Thomas stopped. “Um, Moon Lover,” he answered, staring into her eyes much longer than he felt he should have.
“That’s a lovely name,” Silver Bell exposed her fangs in a smile as she inspected Thomas’ form, also for much longer than she probably should have. “Hmm. You wouldn’t happen to have some bat pony ancestry?”
“I don’t think so,” Thomas admitted, trying not to sound nervous. “Why?”
“It just seems like a bat pony sort of name. Oh well,” she shrugged awkwardly. “Now that we’ve been introduced, how is the night treating you? Enjoying your meal?”
“The meal’s fine,” Thomas groaned, cringing at how high pitched his voice was. “It’s just the company that’s a little…”
“Are they the loud ones?” Silver Bell gestured in the direction of the table Thomas had come from.
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “That would be them.”
Silver Bell rolled her eyes and folded her arms, wings shuffling in irritation. “My apologies if I come across as less than civil, but I could hear them half way across the restaurant. Honestly, some ponies just have no manners. What such a lovely mare as yourself is doing with them is…” Blushing, she stopped. “That is, I’m sure they're very nice. Even that griffon who keeps flaring her wings out in public,” she added disapprovingly.
Thomas nodded, laughing internally at being called a lovely mare. It was an off-hand comment, but it sounded genuine. Would she be saying that if I were a stallion? Better question, what about me as I really am? He went on to imagine the bat pony’s reaction if she knew what she’d just said about the Princess of the Night. “Your friends any better? Maybe we could trade.” He added in the hopes of changing the topic away from his appearance.
“My friends are mostly the quiet artsy types, so this isn’t a problem for me,” she explained with a bit of forced mirth. “I have only just arrived back in Canterlot the other day from Prance.”
“Back in Canterlot? You’ve been here before?”
“Oh yes. I used to live here when I was little before my family took me to live in Prance. Now that I’m back and my apartment is settled, I thought I’d check out some of the city’s restaurants before heading over to the castle.”
“The castle?” Thomas inquired, the illusion of his ears perking in interest.
Silver Bell rubbed her arm in embarrassment. “Yes. I’m applying for a position in the night court… um, staff. They wrote that they were pleased with my resume, but I still have to do one last interview before I am officially accepted into the position. At least that’s how I understand it.”
Thomas tilted his head. “If things aren’t official yet, then why move? Shouldn’t that come after you, you know, have the job?”
“Normally yes,” Silver Bell agreed. “However, this is not a normal kind of… job. It can take months before your credentials are even looked at, and even then they accept so few applicants.” She blushed. “To be honest, I’m only here at the request of my parents, they pulled a lot of strings to get me this far this quickly, and the encouragement of my friends. Sounds silly, I imagine.”
“Not at all. It sounds like what you’re doing takes a lot of courage,” Thomas smiled as Silver Bell did the same. “The loud ones have been encouraging me to get out more and try new things.”
“It’s nice to have supportive friends,” Silver Bell grinned, her sparkly whites shining under the light of the magical lamps. “Also the nature of the job is… I can’t really say, but it’s pretty exciting. Even just making it as far as I have in the interview process is rather impressive, even if my parents did pull some strings,” she admitted embarrassingly. "Anyway, what have your friends been helping you with?”
Thomas averted his gaze, ears splaying in embarrassment. “I’m not sure you’d believe me even if I told you.”
Silver Bell pouted. “Try me.”
Thomas shrugged. “Would you believe I was a guy this morning?”
Silver Bell pulled back in surprise, only to lean in as her eyes crawled over the illusion of the mare in front of her. “Not really,” she confessed. “And if I did, I’d question whether or not your friends could even be called friends.”
“That’s fair,” Thomas agreed. “They’ve been teasing me about it all night, but they’re really good pe-er-ponies… usually.”
Silver Bell’s frown softened. “Would you like to talk about it?”
“Might as well,” Thomas shrugged. “Thing is, I’m sorta in this relationship with a mare.”
“Might she be one of the loud ones?”
Thomas nodded. “She’s great, wonderful really. But now she’s talking about, what was the word, stabling with this griffon I know. And I’m just not sure how to deal with that.”
Silver Bell nodded along. “You say you know this griffon. Is she a friend of yours?”
“Yeah. I’ve been in Canterlot a while now and she’s sorta been looking out for me for most of that.” Thomas admitted as his own words lingered in his mind.
“I take it you’ve never been in a stabled relationship before?” she asked flatly.
Thomas shook his mare head. “I’m kinda new to these kinds of relationships in general and I’m just not certain what it all means,” he confessed, looking expectantly at the bat pony for an answer.
Silver Bell nodded understandingly. “Hmm. I think I can see where you’re coming from, but I don’t think this is anything as drastic as you might fear. Do you know why this griffon is stabling with you?”
Thomas rubbed his arm in embarrassment. “I guess you could say we’ve been having some communication issues.”
“Ah. Then I suspect that’s what this griffon is meant to tackle.”
Thomas raised an eyebrow inquisitively.
“I’m not sure how things work where ever you’re from, but in this part of Equestria, ponies might stable together for a number of reasons. For example, a stallion might stable with a herd while studding for them.”
Stud while stabling? Thomas grimaced. Great. Use more alien pony words I don’t really get to explain the first one. Might as well speak a whole nother language while you’re at it.
Picking up on his confusion, Silver Bell paused to rethink what she had planned to say. “Ponies stable with herds because the herds need something. Studding was just an example, but bringing in an outsider for communication issues is just as common. There’s no stigma behind it, but I understand how seeking outside help can be a little uncomfortable, so I won’t pry into the specifics.”
Thomas nodded appreciatively as he processed this new information. “You mean like… an intervention?”
“I suppose you could call it that,” Silver Bell wondered. “But I think it’s more fitting to say that it’s a friend helping out other friends in a… quasi-official status. He, or she in this case, joins the herd temporarily until all parties feel the job is done. Could be for a day, or maybe even a year. Maybe you’ll like her so much that you’ll invite her to join your herd formally.”
“She’s already got a herd of her own,” Thomas replied. “Said this was more like a loan.”
“Then I guess her herd must be very lucky to have somepony willing to do so much for the sake of her friends’ relationship.”
“I… hadn’t thought of it like that,” Thomas admitted. Thinking back to what they had said prior, this explanation did seem to make the most sense. Talon’s just doing what she’s been doing and trying to help me fit in. I guess just putting a label on it doesn’t really change things.
“Well I think it’s safe to say the mare you’re herded with has and that’s why this griffon was invited to begin with.” Silver Bell reached out and took Thomas’ ponified hands in hers. “Try to think on the positive side. You love this mare, right?” She waited for the nod which followed soon after. “And you trust this griffon as a friend, right?” Another nod. “Then just think of it as her being your new roommate. She’ll live with you, eat at the same table, do things that’ll probably annoy you,” she giggled, “and speak her mind on things she sees.”
Thomas felt himself relax as he thought more on this. Talon as a roommate didn’t seem so bad. Granted, she’d still likely be as flirtatious as ever, but wasn’t that the point, to help him adjust to herded life? This had been a long time coming and Thomas chided himself for waiting this long. He knew Luna wanted a larger harem which, now that he knew he was her herd stallion, meant she wanted a proper herd that better fit the cultural norms of this world. The idea of sharing Luna, or even himself, with other ponies still bugged him, but logically he knew that this was just how ponies worked. By all accounts, herds worked and ponies were able to get along with one another just fine without being jealous. It still bothered him, and he knew that he and Luna would have to have a proper talk about it, but something about the bat pony mare’s certainty told him that things might just work out in the end. “Thank you, Miss Silver Bell.”
“Call me Silver. All my friends do,” she smiled. “And if things don’t work out, you can room with me,” she assured. “But I’m sure that won’t happen. I had a look at your group earlier. That kiss wasn’t the sort you give to a pony you want to break up with.” She suddenly pulled back. “Not that I was spying, or anything! I didn’t even get a good look at whoever that third mare by the griffon was.”
The illusion of Thomas’ cheek fur turned pink. “You think so?”
“I’ve been the designated driver on enough dates to learn the signs. Trust me. Whatever your problems, if you two aren’t very special someponies, I’ll eat my hat.”
“But you’re not wearing a hat.”
“Then I’ll go out and buy the ugliest hat in Canterlot just for the purpose of eating. That’s how confident I am that things will work out for you two.”
Thomas nodded. “Thanks again, Silver.”
“Any time,” she nodded.
“I think I’ll go out there and get this stuff straightened out. Oh, and when you do get around to going to the castle, look up a guy named Thomas. I think he might be able to help you get the job.”
“That’s very kind of you,” Silver bobbed her head excitedly. “While I’d be a fool to turn down such a kind gesture, I fear it won’t matter. For this kind of job, if I’m not invited up to the castle, there’s nothing anypony can do.”
“Then we’ll just have to make sure you get invited, now won’t we,” he turned to leave the bathroom.
Silver sighed contently as she was left alone. She’d felt that she’d done her good deed of the evening, but wondered whether or not eating that hat might be worth Moon Lover becoming available, horrible as that may be. However, the mere thought of that mare’s pretty eyes and nice flank made her heart flutter.
**********
Thomas barely got two steps out of the bathroom before nearly crashing into Talon. Thankfully, both managed to stay standing afterward.
“Wo there, chimp,” she held out her claws to steady herself. “Ya alright?”
“I think so,” Thomas nodded and gave the griffon a warm smile. “And thanks, stable buddy.”
Talon beamed proudly at the human in a mare’s body and swooped him off his feet in a powerful embrace. “I’m so glad to hear that, but what were you doing in there, anyway?” she asked after setting him back on his hoof-feet.
“Just talking with a mare.”
Talon tilted her head curiously. “Now’s not really the time for making out with strange mares, chimp. And coming from me, that’s saying something.”
“We weren’t making out!” Thomas sneered, only to quickly pull back when he feared he might have reacted too strongly. “We were just talking.” He said in an apologetic tone.
“Whatever,” Talon shrugged, apparently unfazed. “Anyway, Moonbutt’s pretty worried about you walking off like that. And smarty-corn keeps freaking out that you might fall into the toilet or something.”
Thomas felt a chill run up his spine. “I didn’t mean to make her worry.”
“She keeps fidgeting like she’s sitting on a bee or something. There’s dedication to your job, but then there’s just plain paranoia.”
Thomas gulped. It felt terrible making his friends worry like this. “And… L-I mean Blue?”
Talon nodded. “That’s only mostly your fault. Mares are supposed to worry about their stallions, after all. But she’s also worried you might be a little angry with her.”
“What? Why would I be angry at her?”
Talon leered. “Well ya could stand here and ask me all night long, or we could quit stalling and get you over to your talk. Choice is up to you, chimp.”
Thomas nodded and let Talon escort him back to their table. Both mares were elated at his return. After Moonlight finished fussing over him, satisfied that he hadn’t come to any injuries in her absence, Thomas slid back beside the blue unicorn. “Hey,” he said meekly.
“Hey,” Luna parroted. An awkward silence followed. “I am sorry for making you into a mare. W-I may have asked, but it was wrong to pressure you as I did. Can you forgive us?”
For a moment Thomas considered saying that it wasn’t a big deal, but the worried look on Luna’s unicorn face, not to mention her slip into royal pronouns signaling her emotional state, told him there was no way she would buy that. He nuzzled her forehead and whispered “Always, my mare.” And she let out a sigh of relief.
“It occurs to me,” Talon began, “that certain parties might need some clarification on what a royal harem really is. What say we move this party somewhere more private?”
“Agreed,” Luna nodded.
They finished their meal quickly, paid, and departed the restaurant. Once outside, they found a secluded place to modify Thomas’ illusion back to that of a stallion, much to his appreciation. Having such a heavy chest felt just so weird. As before, they decided that the park would be their best destination.
“Alright,” Talon stepped away from the group. “Not exactly private, but since we look like just some weird group of friends, we shouldn’t get any eavesdroppers. Anyway, first thing’s first. This is royal harem business, which means it’s on a need-to-know basis. Got it?”
Both guards nodded and moved to leave.
“Not you,” Talon grabbed Moonlight’s arm. “This concerns you too, now sit.”
Moonlight looked to Swift Scabbard for some direction, but he was just as much in the dark as she was. She looked to Thomas, but the look on his face suggested he didn’t know where this was going either. Finally she turned to the disguised Princess who gave a confident nod, assuring that the guard’s presence was welcome.
Swift Scabbard leaned against a nearby tree as he watched the group from a distance. The rest sat beside the small lake in something of a circle, but with a clear distinction between Talon and Luna on one side and Thomas and Moonlight on the other. Talon motioned for the Princess to begin and she cast a bubble of silence around them.
“Dearest Thomas. It pains us terribly to know that there has been so many failures to communicate between us, firstly in that we actually allowed you to believe for so long that you were but a mere prostitute.”
“Mere?” Moonlight asked, swallowing her offense when she realized she’d spoken out of turn. “My apologies. I shouldn’t have…”
“No, Lady Moonlight,” Luna assured. “Speak what is on your mind.”
“It’s just, what’s wrong with being a prostitute? My father was a faithfully stabled concubine to Princess Celestia for many years and is a very proud stallion.”
“I have no doubt that he is,” Luna bobbed her head calmly. “And while I have never had the pleasure of meeting him, I believe I can safely say your father was never a prostitute.”
“What?” the dumbfounded Moonlight eventually asked.
“That’s just a cover,” Talon answered coolly. “It may have been in the job title, but that’s just a front so the rest of Equestria doesn’t know what concubines really are.”
“Then…” Moonlight hesitated, “what are they?”
When Luna looked to Thomas, putting him on the spot, the human felt obliged to answer as best he could. “We’re your herd, right?”
Luna bobbed her head. “It is as I told you some time ago. You might have dismissed it as playful banter at the time, but know that I spoke with nothing but sincerity when I said you are my herd.”
Thomas nodded along. She’d said as much already, but that didn’t make her current statement any less profound.
“Dearest Thomas,” she continued. “You are my herd in all but title and law, but the feelings we share are no less real. You are my stallion and I am your mare.”
“And smarty-corn,” Talon gently interjected. “Your daddy used to be a member of Celestia’s semi-secret herd, just like I am now.”
“Herd?” Moonlight repeated. “So… father was herded to Princess Celestia?”
“Technically he was stabled, but yes,” Luna answered. “Regarding why, I’m afraid the answer goes back to the early days of Equestria, some five and a half thousand years ago. Despite what the Hearth’s Warming Eve plays may say, the old tensions between the three tribes did not evaporate overnight. In fact, were it not for the arrival of my sister and I, they might have descended into all-out war once more. As the embodiments of all three tribes, my sister and I were looked upon as the natural leaders by the common folk. However, those in power were much more skeptical of the newcomers. Because of the sway they held over their followers, we came to a compromise. In exchange for recognizing our leadership, each of the ruling families would offer up a son or daughter each to my sister and myself to be wedded. It was a purely political marriage which satisfied the nobility, save for the fact that neither my sister nor I ever became pregnant.”
“Why didn’t you…” Thomas snapped his mouth shut, silently cursing thoughtlessness.
“It’s alright,” Luna gave an assuring smile. “Though we may appear similar, alicorns differ from common ponies in many ways. For instance, while we do have heat cycles like normal mares, there is a significantly greater time between heats, and there are further conditions. Now before I continue, I must remind you all that this is strictly confidential and not to be shared with anypony under any circumstances. Matters concerning the private affairs of the royal sisters can only be shared by the royal sisters. Do I make myself clear?”
The three nodded somberly at Luna’s serious tone.
“Regarding these further conditions, not even we fully understand what they are,” Luna paused to breathe while Thomas and Moonlight fidgeted anxiously. Talon looked just as serious, but less eager to hear what she’d already been told. “Alicorns are simply not as fertile as common mares. We are not barren, by any stretch, but it is not nearly as easy for a stallion’s seed to take within us. Even with another alicorn stallion, there is difficulty. Some have speculated that alicorns are all but impervious to insemination without a number of factors being present. One of these factors, we believe, is love.”
“Love,” Thomas muttered absentmindedly.
“Love,” Luna agreed. “My sister and I did not love our first herds. It was merely the first of many political moves to placate the aristocracy. After that, things began to settle as the foundations of Equestria were built. The land was much more savage in those days, so my sister and I spent a great deal of time taming the wilds. Two centuries passed as the lands stabilized and the three tribes finally learned the merits of harmony. However, my sister and I began to succumb to loneliness. We were adored by the masses, some more than others,” she added under hushed breath, “but it was the distant reverence of unreachable idols. The nobility courted us regularly, but theirs was nothing but a shallow ruse to hide their lust for power.”
“You poor thing,” Moonlight offered sympathetically. “I never imagined how lonely it could be on the throne. The way father described her and how she’s always smiling, I had thought Princess Celestia was happy.”
“No doubt your father was part of what made my sister so happy,” Luna smiled appreciatively. “In fact, it was because of her that the harem system was born. You see, after vanquishing an especially vicious hydra that had been ravaging a small town, Celestia found an injured guard mare and nursed her back to health. The guard was herded with another mare and stallion. Their names were Warding Flame, Azure Crystal, and Lawful Virtue. Celestia sat with them in the old castle’s infirmary until the guard recovered. They spoke at length with one another and finally sister was able to make ponies see her as a mare and not just a goddess.” Luna smiled nostalgically. “And as the story goes, they were eventually married as Princess and Consorts.”
“Ooh,” Moonlight cupped her hands over her mouth to stifle her cooing. “That’s so romantic.”
Thomas did better at staying composed as he looked at Luna. “But?”
“But.” Luna let the word hang for a moment. “But the aristocracy was not so tolerant of commoners being raised to the positions they felt entitled to. For the sake of protecting those we loved, we established the royal harem system. In essence, we were herded with the members of our harem in all but law and title, which was enough of a technicality to appease the nobles since it meant that no foal not born of an alicorn and nobility would ever sit on the throne. We even changed the term from consort to concubine. Times have changed considerably since then, but the system has remained in order to ward off any potential threats.”
Thomas and Moonlight exchanged worried looks as they considered what they had been told.
“So,” Thomas began. “Where does that leave us?”
Luna turned to the unicorn beside Thomas. “Moonlight Shield.”
“Ma’am!” the guard answered reflexively as she straightened up to attention.
“You are the daughter of a member of my sister’s harem. As has been tradition since the beginning, you are entitled to consider both myself and my sister as your aunts.” There was something just a little bit off about the smile she gave Moonlight.
Moonlight gulped as her mind raced to process this new info. “So it wasn’t some foalhood faze? Celestia… is my herd mother?”
“It is better to call her your aunt, but yes.” Luna nodded with a grin. “Though it may be a secret, family is still family, my niece,” she added lovingly.
While Moonlight struggled to process this new information, a question came to Thomas. “What about Blueblood?” Immediately the atmosphere became rather stale, but he pressed on. “He’s pretty widely known as Celestia’s nephew. How come he gets to be openly recognized while Moonlight has to keep it secret?”
Moonlight nodded fervently, also wanting an answer.
“Though rare,” Luna explained, “there are in fact some nobles kind and sincere enough to earn the affections of my sister or I. In such cases, we are allowed to refer to them publicly as our husbands and wives instead of concubines. And in the event a foal is born, they are recognized as an Honorary Prince or Princess. The nobles make no fuss when one of their own is elevated, but the title is just that, a title. Tis an imposing title to be sure, but the Honorary Prince or Princess holds little authority except in public perception. I have actually spoken with my sister regarding your particular circumstances, dear Moonlight.” She added, anticipating the unicorn’s question. “She was being unusually cryptic about the matter. However, from what I could interpret, your father insisted on keeping you and your siblings away because he did not want you to turn out as he did,” Luna explained, though even she sounded unsure of her own validity.
Moonlight’s eye twitched in agitation. “So… the reason I was denied a relationship with auntie Celestia,” she spoke her old name for the Princess with reverence, “is all because of Prince bucking blue balls?”
Talon rolled her eyes, but kept her comments to herself.
The naked guard looked ready to burst from her seat, race towards the castle, and turn the Prince’s nose concave, but a few quick breaths and she was able to compose herself again. The flicking of her ears showed that she was still clearly infuriated, though Thomas tried to avert his eyes from the fact that the cold air was eliciting another reaction from her.
“I could have a little chat with my sister,” Luna added. “I do not think she would be opposed to having breakfast with you tomorrow; or, as those backwards day court ponies say, late dinner.”
Moonlight blinked. “You mean I could…”
“Catch up with your old aunt?” Luna finished her thought. “Indeed you could.” Seeing that Moonlight was struggling to adhere to protocol, Luna scooted towards the orange unicorn and pulled her niece into a tight embrace. Both mares reveled in each other’s arms, like old friends finally reunited after so long.
“And chimp.” All eyes fell on Talon. “You might have the title, but I still hold seniority here. Consider this just the next step in your training. Normally you’d be elevated to the position after the old Senior Concubine either dies or steps down, but only if you’ve proven that you were up for it. Since you’re the only member of your Princess’ harem, you’re still learning how these things work. That’s where I come in.” She placed her claw on Thomas’ knee. “I’m here ta help you figure things out and give ya a real taste of herded life.”
Thomas stared back at the griffon, mind spinning with all that had just been dumped on him. “Wonderful,” he dryly told the jittery looking griffon.
Thomas was seriously beginning to question whether or not he liked his days off. The company was fine, but if he wasn’t being pushed to his physical limits by an overzealous griffon, he was put through the emotional ringer by something centered on his ignorance of Equestrian relationships. Thankfully the others sensed his discomfort and agreed to at least try and keep things calm for the remainder of the evening. His and Luna’s illusions were still in place as the Princess held his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. Talon walked beside Thomas and Moonlight beside Luna. Swift Scabbard followed close behind, but made sure to keep a cautious distance.
“So this really is a herd, huh?” Thomas finally asked after several minutes of silence.
Luna’s ears flicked as she looked up at him anxiously. “Does this bother you?”
“Not really,” Thomas admitted. “I guess I’m still processing it, though.”
“Never expected you’d ever be herded to a sexy alicorn Princess, ay chimp?” Talon set her claw on Thomas’ free shoulder.
“Nope,” Thomas answered flatly. “I can honestly say I never saw that coming.”
“Dearest Thomas. Are you troubled by the prospect of an open polyamorous relationship?”
“I’m honestly not sure,” he admitted. The idea of a polygamous relationship did excite him on a primal level, but the more analytical side of his brain kept bringing up all the complications he’d had to deal with in just one romantic relationship. Surely bringing in another mare or two would multiply things exponentially.
“I understand this is all a bit surprising,” Moonlight began. “Believe me, I wasn’t expecting any of that either. But I’m still not quite certain why this would be problem.”
“Humans don’t really do polygamy. Just about all of us are monogamists.”
“I get it, chimp. Griffons are pretty much the same, but that’s why I’m here to help,” Talon added, setting her claw on his shoulder. “As someone who’s seen both sides, trust me when I say herds are feather flipping great.”
“I don’t doubt that,” Thomas said through a forced smile, and then sighed. “If you say polygamy works without anyone getting jealous, I’m willing to give it a shot. Honestly, I never really expected to end up with anyone, much less be part of a… a group marriage.”
All three females glared worriedly at Thomas’ latest confession, forcing him to slump his shoulders in a vain attempt to shrink from sight.
“You never expected to find your very-special-somepony?” Luna asked.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a little socially awkward.”
“No kidding,” Talon added sarcastically.
Thomas nodded. “If I don’t have to talk to someone, I generally don’t,” he sighed. “Even if there’s someone I want to talk to, I probably won’t do anything until they make the first move.”
“Because you don’t want to be a burden?” Luna observed with a grimace.
“Yeah,” Thomas smiled meekly. “In fact, if you hadn’t basically told me to get in bed with you, well… we’d probably not be having this conversation right now.”
“Well we are having this conversation right now,” Talon asserted. “I don’t know how things worked back in the human country, but around here ponies look out for one another. You and me have been friends for a while, and for the time being, we’re herd-mates too. Know what that means? That means it’s my obligation to make sure my pal doesn’t get down on himself.”
“I appreciate that,” Thomas replied, only for the griffon to lightly bop him on the nose.
“You’d better,” Talon said with a half-smile. “Ain’t no way I’m letting any friend of mine feel alone.”
“Absolutely not,” Luna tightened her grip on Thomas’ arm.
“Same for me,” Moonlight nodded.
Thomas’ lips finally curled into a smile as warmth filled his body. He’d had friends before, but never so many and never as supportive as those beside him right now. He nodded appreciatively to each of them. “Thanks guys.”
“Besides,” Talon bumped Thomas’ shoulder. “You can’t say the idea doesn’t excite you just a little, right?”
Thomas chuckled. “If that’s how things work here, I guess I can’t really complain.”
“Just feel free to ask me about whatever,” Talon said with a firm nod. “Any worries you’re having, you can probably bet I went through the same.”
“In the meantime,” Luna cut in. “I do believe you have more pressing issues to concern yourself with.”
“Because that doesn’t sound ominous,” Thomas said sardonically as they came to a stop.
Luna motioned Thomas to rotate his body to face the store they now stood in front of. “Couch King’s Cushions.” Luna read while waving her hand presentingly. “Your first and last stop for all your furniture needs.”
“Catchy slogan,” Thomas said in approval. “Any particular reason we’re here?”
“For you, dearest Lover,” Luna replied excitedly. “It’s high time you acquired more possessions of your own and when better than as a gift from your mare after showing such patience during his courting?”
Thomas blinked. “You want to buy me furniture?”
“Only for starters,” Luna answered as she lead them through the doors. The inside smelled of scented candles and old wood. “As an aspiring young writer, perhaps a writing desk or two, maybe a bookshelf for references? Oh. And of course you’ll need new books as well.”
“Good start, like you said,” Talon analyzed while casually surveying a group of couches. “And since I’m in the herd now too, guess it’s only right if I got you both a little something. Nothing as expensive, mind you, but I think you’ll appreciate what I have in mind.”
“I’m sure we will,” Luna nodded. “Right, Lover?”
“I… that is…” Thomas stuttered.
“Yes?” Luna leaned in.
“I’m not all that comfortable with others spending a lot on me.”
“Lover,” Luna said sternly. “I want to do this for you. I want you to have things and a space to call your own. Now, you can either accept your mare’s generosity graciously, or I’ll let Talon fondle you as a mare for the rest of the night. The choice is yours.”
Thomas glared back at Luna before turning to face Moonlight. “I guess that settles it.”
“Settles what?” Moonlight inquired.
“My Princess really is evil, especially with her griffon accomplice.”
“Hey!” Luna and Talon whined together. Thomas just gave them a deadpan stare before they all cracked smiles.
And so began the hunt for furniture that appeased the Princess’ desire for generosity and the human’s desire for frugality.
“But the finish on this one looks so much better,” Luna argued as she waved to one writing desk.
“It’s too big,” Thomas argued. “Besides. This one has as much shelf and desk space at half the price,” he indicated a desk of his own.
“Price is no factor. I told you this already,” Luna insisted in frustration. “Also, I don’t know where you’re looking, but the desk I’ve chosen has nearly twice the shelf space of…” she regarded Thomas’ chosen desk skeptically. “I could almost swear that thing was designed for foals.”
Thomas regarded the desk Luna had chosen with hesitation. It was made from a much more expensive wood, something Thomas considered entirely unnecessary. He’d sat at both, but the one Luna chose left him feeling especially small, in part because of the shelves arching over the top. The whole thing looked like it would better fit a large TV or computer, rather than a few books and notes. “Just look at the way it’s stacked though,” he gestured. “It’s like it’s gonna fall over any minute.”
Meanwhile, Talon leaned over and whispered in Moonlight’s ear. “Ever hear him raise his voice like that before?”
Moonlight studied the pair carefully. “If it weren’t for him yelling at Twilight, I wouldn’t have thought his voice actually got that loud.”
“Adjustments can be made!” Luna countered, shaking her hand in agitation.
“But why not just get the one that’s fine as is?” Thomas’ voice was becoming equally frustrated.
“Should…” Moonlight hesitated. “Should we interfere?”
“Good call,” Talon tapped Moonlight’s shoulder twice and made her way into the danger zone. “Hey guys,” she waved, flinching when both sets of eyes fell upon her. “Having a bit of trouble?”
Luna folded her arms and pouted. “Honestly, in all our years we have never encountered a stallion so stubbornly frugal.”
“Well sorry if I grew up without unlimited money,” Thomas huffed in exasperation.
“Wo, now!” Talon held up her claws. “Let’s just calm down now. Chimp. Lu-er…” she hesitated, forgetting their secret names for a second. “Your mare is just trying to do something nice for you. You get that, right?”
“Of course I do,” Thomas huffed again. “I just don’t really like it when anyone spending money wastefully, especially on me.”
“You are not a waste!” Luna shouted, causing some of the other patrons to take notice. “You…” Luna’s body began to relax as she realized she’d raised her voice in a public setting. Her ears splayed in embarrassment. “I…”
“That’s not what I meant,” Thomas insisted. He’d also relaxed his posture a bit as he took a step toward his Princess. “I’m just, gah!” He grunted in frustration.
“Money conscious?” Talon suggested.
“Yes. Exactly that,” Thomas pointed at her. “That is… assuming that means what I think it means.” He added, wary of any potential cultural misunderstanding.
“Basically frugal even when you don’t have to be,” Talon explained.
“Then yeah,” Thomas nodded. “Money conscious is a good way to put it. Pretty much ever since I realized the value of money, I’ve been really reluctant to spend it on myself and having others spend it on me always left me feeling a little guilty.” He paused, but decided to elaborate when it looked like no one else was willing to speak yet. “I remember this one time my grandmother decided to buy my cousins and me this new game. I felt it was really expensive, so I insisted on buying a pack of collectable cards instead since they were a third of the price.”
Talon let her claws fall as she too finally relaxed. “So this is just how you’ve always been?”
“Pretty much,” Thomas nodded with a half-smile.
The griffon began chuckling. “You know, I’ve met a lot of mares who would give their tails for a stallion that didn’t need to be lavished with expensive gifts.”
Swift Scabbard coughed, as if to say that this was a gross exaggeration and that he was standing right there, but no one paid him any mind.
“I think this might have been a culture gap thing,” Thomas exhaled. “Sex roles are reversed from what I’m used to, so I guess it just feels a little weird to have the girl feel compelled to buy stuff for me.”
Talon moved back to her spot beside Moonlight as Luna walked up to her stallion and nuzzled under his chin. “Roles and compulsions can go buck themselves,” she whispered just loud enough for Moonlight and Talon to hear. “I want you to have nice things.”
Thomas returned the nuzzle, following it up with a swift slap to her rump and eliciting the most adorable surprised squeak. Then he too whispered. “Princess or no, I don’t think you have enough bits to buy me something nicer than that.” He gestured downward with his eyes.
Luna took a step back and glared at him indignantly. “Impertinent colt,” she sneered in a manner he recognized as less than serious. “You dare issue such a challenge to the likes of me?”
“Challenge?” Moonlight whispered to Talon. “When was there a challenge?”
“He’s saying Luna can’t afford to buy him anything nicer than the royal moon,” Talon explained.
“Oh,” Moonlight nodded understandingly as the mental image of Luna’s bare rump refused to leave her alone. “But… can she?”
Talon frowned, only to give a relenting shrug. “I know I couldn’t.”
“What if…” Moonlight began a bit louder than she’d intended, causing all eyes to fall on her. Her ears splayed and she tried to back up, but Talon put a reassuring claw on her shoulder and motioned her to speak up. “Well… what if you got a dual desk?”
“Dual?” Thomas asked.
“Like those we had in school,” Moonlight elaborated, though her tone of voice suggested she was struggling. “They were large enough for more than one pony to sit at so that students could work in teams on projects.” She watched as the others considered her idea, ears perking when she realized they all seemed to be nodding.
“I like it,” Thomas was the first to admit. “Be a lot easier to proof read like that. Plus we could work on multiple projects at once.”
“Exactly!” Moonlight cheered, tail swishing excitedly. “We wouldn’t have to sit on the bed when writing anymore. We could sit side by side at a real desk, together, like proper writers,” The unicorn froze when she realized she’d said a bit too much. Even she wasn’t sure why she was so excited about sitting at a desk with Thomas. They’d just be doing the same thing as before, writing and editing, just… in a more official status, side by side, potentially for hours on end as they labored to sculpt words into a work of art, together. No. No reason to be embarrassed at all.
Thomas smiled appreciatively to the unicorn. “I’d like that.” He had heard the mare’s tone and even saw the wagging tail, but had rationalized it as nothing more than a friend being happy for another friend. She was understandably excited to work side by side with someone who shared her passion for writing, but surely that was it, right? Despite his mental assurances, he couldn’t easily escape the doubt.
The elder females studied the expressions of the youngsters before exchanging knowing looks and smiling. An unspoken understanding passed between them. It was the understanding of the friends of other friends who were clueless about their feelings. It was also the agreement that such ignorance would eventually have to come to an end. But that could wait for later as there was still the all-important task of shopping to get through.
Eventually Thomas and Luna settled on a desk to buy, which Luna did by signing a note with the royal seal on it. The stallion at the counter stared at the note for a solid thirty seconds before remembering he had a job to do and accepted it, promising the delivery would be made on Monday since they didn’t do deliveries over the weekend.
The next stop was for the typewriter. At the suggestion of taking Luna’s old one as a hand-me-down, even Moonlight shook her head and told him to give in. This was followed by the unicorn remaining in the forefront to pick out a typewriter she felt would best meet his needs after it became clear that this was an area Luna was not especially knowledgeable in. Thomas was fairly certain that Moonlight was shopping as much for herself as him, taking advantage of the fact that price was not an issue when she set her sights on one of the newer models that had an enchantment in place to erase mistakes and adjust all writing to compensate for insertions and deletions.
“Yeah,” Thomas nodded. “We’re getting this one.”
“Really?” Moonlight blinked. “You’re not going to argue because of the price?”
“The only thing I’ll argue is that this,” he paused to read the description, “auto-adjustment isn’t a standard feature in all typewriters.”
“Well, it is a brand new spell,” Moonlight defended. “It’s a little unfair to use it as the standard.”
“Fascinating,” Luna said in awe as she leaned in for a closer examination. “What wonders modern ponies have come up with this last millennium.”
“That’s why we need to buy it,” Thomas continued. “It’s new, so of course it’ll be expensive. But the more people, er, ponies buy them, the greater the demand will be. Over time, they’ll have to adjust the design to make it more affordable. Eventually, this’ll even lead to improvements and an even cheaper design. Really, we can’t afford not to…” Thomas halted in his gushing when he realized the others were staring at him.
“Lover?” Luna began. “Since when did you become an expert in neo-modern economics?”
“Neo-modern?” Thomas asked. “That’s just basic free market forces back where I’m from.”
“Basic?” Moonlight deadpanned. “We learned in secondary school that these theories have only been put into practice for less than a decade.”
“Really? I learned about the laws of supply and demand back in primary school,” Thomas said, trying not to brag.
“Primary school?” Moonlight was flabbergasted. “My teacher spent days just trying to explain the theory, and even then half the class didn’t get it. I’m still not sure if I do.”
“A visiting merchant tried to explain it to me once,” Talon offered. “I don’t think he had any idea either.”
Thomas chuckled in preparation to show off before his friends. “Supply and demand. The suppliers, the businesses, want to sell the product at the highest cost possible. The demanders, or the consumers, want to buy it at the lowest cost possible. Businesses lower their price until they meet the consumers somewhere in the middle and maximum satisfaction is had by all.”
The mares and griffon just blinked.
“I think you just rendered my entire class useless,” Moonlight finally admitted. “I wonder if I get a refund of some sort.”
“So, is this some form of haggling?” Luna asked.
“Not exactly,” Thomas explained. “Prices do vary between regions depending on the demand of that region, but they’re set the same for everyone there. Companies adjust the prices experimentally until they find the one that yields maximum profit.”
Luna hummed. “I take it that humans have been engaging in this practice for some time.”
“Varying degrees of success,” Thomas wobbled his hand. “But for the last century, the free market has pretty much been the single biggest factor in elimination of poverty… or, you know, so I’ve heard. We’ve still got poor people, but there are less and less who starve each year.”
Luna nodded in marvel at what her stallion described. “I do believe it prudent to arrange a meeting with the heads of Canterlot’s trading guilds. But that can come later. For now, why don’t we simply buy the typewriter?”
Thomas was hoping they might press him more for his knowledge on economics after buying the typewriter, but it was for not. Apparently, no one was in the mood for an economics lesson tonight. The human made a mental note to bring this up next time they visited Twilight, hoping against hope that he might stump the walking purple encyclopedia. One last trip to the office supplies store for pencils, paper, and other miscellaneous items, and it looked like the human had everything a writer could need. So why was Talon so jittery? “Something you want to share, Tali?”
“Just thinking it’s finally time for my gift.”
“Oh,” Thomas deadpanned, trying not to sound worried. I guess it makes sense that she’d have a turn too. I just hope it’s not something too… weird. “What’d you have in mind?”
“Oh, you’ll see,” Talon said with a coy smile.
Talon pulled Moonlight aside and they began discussing something under hushed tones. A smile crept on the orange mare’s lips which left Thomas questioning whether he should be worried or not. He looked over at Luna, but she also had a very pleased smile. Is universal female subconsciousness conspiring against me again? The mares’ positioning themselves to either side of him and locking arms while Talon led the way was all the answer Thomas needed. He’d tried asking where they were going, but they just assured him that they didn’t want to spoil the surprise. Good god. It’s a sex shop. I just know it. Wait… then why is Moonlight… No. Even she’s been pretty casual about these kinds of things. I bet a trip to buy sex toys is no different than buying paper clips.
“And here we are,” Talon held out her claw in presentation of the shop they’d arrived at. The sign read ‘Furious Mace’s Armaments’. The exterior was just as intimidating as the name. Suits of armor stood on either side of the door. The left one was white, sleek, and well-polished, the sort one would expect the hero of any fable to wear in their final battle. In contrast, the one on the right was black, bulky, covered in very threating spikes, and all around very villainous. The displays behind the windows were full spears, swords, maces, shields, everything else one would expect to find in a Medieval armory, along with a few things Thomas couldn’t identify.
“The hell is this place?” Thomas blurted. Moonlight must have sensed his anxiety because she pressed herself firmly against his side.
“What’s hell?” Talon asked nonchalantly. “You’ve said it a couple times and I keep meaning to ask.”
“From what he has described, it is the human equivalent of Tartarus,” Luna explained, mirroring Moonlight’s actions, only with bringing her other hand to stroke Thomas’ pony shoulder.
“Human equivalent?” Talon raised an eyebrow in intrigue. “You’re gonna have to tell me about that some time. But for now, I’d like us to move on to the next part of the chimp’s training.”
“Training?” Thomas asked, snapping out of his partially petrified state. “What’s this place got to do with training?”
“Weapons training,” Talon answered eagerly. “It’s about time we got you some gear.”
“But I don’t know how to use a weapon,” Thomas protested as he tested the grips of the mares on his arms. They weren’t budging.
“A mace would probably be too heavy. Even the training ones,” Moonlight said suggestively before looking Thomas over. “What about you… Blue?”
“Personally, I’ve always had a fondness for the spear,” Luna offered. “It’s easily the sexiest of all weapons.”
Thomas glared at Luna, trying not to think about the imagery of the phallic shape being thrust about. “I know what you’re doing.”
“Why, whatever do you mean?” Luna feigned innocence, but her tone made it clear that she knew full well she’d been caught trying to manipulate the human.
“Fine,” Thomas sighed in defeat and the mares practically carried him into the store.
Much to the human’s surprise, the inside wasn’t nearly as threatening as the outside. Sure the lamp holders were sculpted like claws and the walls were adorned with things that looked like they could cut him if he even looked at them too hard, but the isles full of boxes and pleasant looking staff put him more in the mind of a model store. Apparently, all the really dangerous stuff was in the back. Out here, there were pictures of what was on sale, along with replicas made of soft wood and enchanted to give the feel of what the customer might be interested in. Luna explained these enchantments, the same used in training exercises, stopped at the door, meaning no pony could turn a humble stick into a deadly weapon, as per city regulations.
Forget the models. This is more like the gun store my dad took me to once. I’ll bet there’s a practice area in the back too.
“Go on,” Talon encouraged, nudging him forward. “Pick out something that looks good and we can take it out back for some practice swings.”
Damn, I’m good at this. Thomas smirked, but took to the task with somber respect.
The others followed suit as they surveyed the store with great interest. It was then that Thomas realized that all of his companions were warriors. Talon was ex-military and let her gaze linger a bit too long on a sale for throwing knives. Swift Scabbard spoke up, asking Moonlight’s opinion on the reload time promised on the picture of a crossbow. They debated statistics which Thomas couldn’t keep up with, but it was clear that Moonlight knew enough to be confident in her side of the argument, whatever it was. Even Luna smiled with nostalgic fondness as she stepped aside to get a closer look at a suit of armor with her cutie mark for the emblem.
“Ever handled a sword before?” Talon asked as she casually perused the shelves alongside Thomas.
“No,” Thomas said absentmindedly as he inspected a dagger. It had a gold handle shaped like a dragon with the jagged blade coming out of its mouth like a tongue or stream of fire. The whole thing looked more for show than function. “But I shot a gun before.”
“What’s a gun?” Moonlight asked as she set a spear back in its holder.
Thomas recollected himself. “It’s… a weapon humans use,” he hesitated, trying to think of a way to explain the default human weapon. “It’s like a crossbow, but smaller with even smaller projectiles.”
“That doesn’t sound too impressive,” Talon dismissed.
Thomas smirked, deciding not to explain how the gun rendered everything in this store obsolete. He wasn’t an expert, but knew enough of the history to give the weapon its due respect. As he pondered when, or if, he’d ever be able to explain such things to his friends. This train of thought was broken when Thomas set his sights on one of the pictures on the shelves.
“Find something you like?” Talon asked, coming up to his side to see what he was looking at. “A… kat-ana? What’s that?”
“Ah. I see you have an eye for our more exotic items,” said a very excited looking unicorn stallion. He was old, a bit portly, mustard yellow, and had a balding shining black mane. “Yes. My name is Jackpot Lance and this is a katana, a weapon hailing from Neighpan, an island nation from across the sea.”
“How’d you get ahold of something like that?” Talon asked, glancing between Jackpot and the weapon in question. “I hear those guys are pretty isolated.”
“Oh, I have my ways,” Jackpot shrugged proudly. “Anyway, I see your friend here has taken a liking to this fine blade.” He motioned to the pony-looking human still transfixed with the picture. “Perhaps you’d like try it out?”
Thomas nodded and Jackpot got them set up in the back. After donning a set of thin gloves and other coverings in a changing room, Thomas made his way to the back room which looked like a smaller version of the training yard at the castle. Jackpot directed him to one of the unused training circles and handed him a wooden sword. Upon grasping it, the enchantment took effect and resembled a katana.
Thomas tested the weight of the weapon in his hands. It reminded him of the first time he’d held a gun. Both were a lot heavier than he’d expected and the weight seemed to demand respect for the instrument of death he was now holding. This is a thing that can kill. Just one good swing and I can end someone’s life forever. Such a terrifying thought caused him to hesitate. Maybe buying a weapon wasn’t such a good idea after all?
“They say the samurai, warriors who used this brand of sword, are the great heros of their land as they protect their villages from all manner of monsters,” Jackpot explained dramatically in what was obviously an advertisement.
Monsters. The word echoed in the human’s mind. My knowledge of the show might not be 100%, but monsters are definitely coming. Monsters are coming, and I’m weak. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do anything to help, but the least I can is make myself less of a burden. As Thomas made vow, he felt a familiar tingle in his wrists, though much less pronounced than the last time.
“You know,” Jackpot began braggingly. “Across the sea, they actually call this kind of weapon a ‘broken’.”
“I think you mean bokken,” Thomas corrected absentmindedly as he focused on how strangely good the sword felt in his hands.
Jackpot frowned incredulously. “How do you know that?”
“Um… I think I heard someone at the castle talking about weapons once.”
“Who?”
“Sorry,” Thomas shrugged. “I’m terrible with names.”
This seemed to satisfy the aging unicorn and he directed Thomas to take a stance. “Hmm. Not bad.”
“Thanks,” Thomas nodded. After all the anime I’ve watched over the years, at the very least I have to get the stance right. “So, are you going to give me some lessons or something?”
“I’m afraid we just sell the weapons, my good sir,” Jackpot lamented as he continued to examine Thomas’ grip and footing. “While I can get you in touch with a few professional trainers, if you’d like, I’m afraid there aren’t too many who are all that familiar with a katana.”
“Bokken,” Thomas corrected again. “I… I think I want the bokken, actually.”
“Why is that?” Luna asked.
The pony-looking human shot his head to the back of the room where he found an audience, Luna and the others, had been watching him. “How… how long have you guys been there?”
“Since the start,” Talon answered. “I like how you have your left foot out like that. Makes you look ready to charge, but it’s also easy to back up.”
“But why do you only want the wooden sword?” Moonlight asked.
Good question. Why do I want the wooden training sword instead of the metal one? Thomas considered the question as he examined the blade in his hand. The more he concentrated, the more he felt he could see past the enchantment and into the wooden interior. But the more he thought, the more he couldn’t come up with any answer other than ‘it feels right’.
A still disguised Luna stepped forward with a look of understanding. “Does it feel right, Dearest Lover?”
Thomas looked to Luna and back to the sword. “Y-yeah. I… I can’t really explain it, but…”
“Then we shall take this bokken,” Luna stated firmly. “Lady Talon?”
“Fine with me,” Talon shrugged. “It’s for him anyway.”
The purchase was made with Talon directing Jackpot to have the wooden blade shipped to the castle, which surprised the stallion, but he made no further comment as he rung them up. After departing, and after Talon was satisfied with Thomas’ expressions of gratitude, they decided to call it a night and return to the castle.
It was 5:00 a.m. when they arrived at Luna’s room. Once the Princess and Thomas shed their disguises, the latter took a moment to re-acclimate to his old height while the former set the notes from her purchases in a night stand.
“Hold,” the Princess held up her hand just as Moonlight and Swift were donning their armor. “There is one more appointment for the evening, one that simply cannot be neglected. Moonlight, it would be best if you follow as you are.”
“Oh yeah!” Talon exclaimed as she slammed a fist into her claw. “I can’t believe I nearly forgot something so important.”
Thomas looked quizzically between the alicorn and the griffon. “I thought night court wasn’t held on the weekends.”
“Buck the night court,” Talon scoffed. “We’ve got something actually worth doing. You guys go on ahead. There’s something I need to do first.” Talon motioned to the dresser where Thomas kept his uniforms. When Luna nodded, she began rummaging through the bottom drawers which Thomas was certain had been empty earlier this evening.
Before Thomas could inquire further, he was guided out of the room by the Princess and the door closed behind them. He and the guards quickly fell into their formation behind Luna as she led the way to the dining hall. Thomas looked to Swift for some answer, but the guard remained stoic. Moonlight could offer nothing either. As they walked, Thomas’ mind reeled with questions regarding what he’d just learned.
This is a herd? I’m married… to Luna!? Granted, that part’s not so bad. She wouldn’t marry someone she didn’t care about… except for when she did, but that was politics. She gets no political advantages from marrying me, but we just like spending time together. It just… feels right. And now Tali’s in the herd too as some sort of live-in intervention? Am I married to her now too, or is it something different because this is a loan? If she’s married to Celestia, kinda, why is the Princess loaning her wife to her sister? Does this mean we’re going to have to… do things?
Finally they arrived. The guards outside the hall pushed the doors open for the Princess and her entourage, allowing them to enter the suspiciously darkened room. Swift and Moonlight were clearly tense, but Luna seemed perfectly at ease. Thomas snapped his head from side to side as he tried to follow suspicious noises throughout the room. Eventually, the door guards at the entrance closed the doors behind them and they were sealed in darkness. Suddenly, the room became filled with light. The guards flinched, ready for combat as a group of ponies burst from the shadows.
“Surprise!” shouted the ponies, diamond dogs, and minotaur of Celestia’s harem. Steamers hung from the ceiling, along banner hanging from the ceiling read ‘Hero’s Welcome’, and a number of balloons were tied to the chairs. The room echoed with applause and shook the goblets of various drinks. There was a tarp at the other end of the table covering something quite tall.
“What?” Thomas took a step back, only for Luna to grab his shoulder and hold him in place.
“At ease, everypony,” Luna smiled gently. “Behold a party to celebrate thy heroic accomplishments in Ponyville.”
“Hold it!” Talon screamed as she burst through the doors. “Don’t tell me I… I did,” she whined. “I missed it.”
“Too busy admiring yourself in the mirror?” Misty Breeze asked teasingly.
“Yeah,” Talon rubbed the back of her head guiltily. “Wanted to make sure I looked sexy enough for the party in my new duds,” she waved her claw down, indicating that she was now wearing a loincloth emblazoned with Luna’s cutie mark. “Turns out I had nothing to worry about.” The griffon was immediately set upon by the other members of Celestia’s harem with a torrent of back slaps, cheers, and jokes.
Thomas, who had stayed close to Luna’s side, saw that he was now being approached by Celestia. The elder alicorn, apart from her crown and horse shoes, was completely nude. Her magnificent breasts and bountiful bottom jiggled a bit with each step. Even her mane, which was a shade of light pink, was informally limp. She giggled when she noticed where Thomas was staring, and her sister joined in when he blushed and looked away.
“You see? I told you he liked your body.” Luna said teasingly. This caused Thomas to pretend to take great interest in his feet, which lead to both alicorns to coo.
“Do you approve, Sir Thomas?” Celestia motioned to the banner above, trying to stifle her giggles.
“What is all this?” Thomas asked.
Celestia tilted her head curiously. “It is a surprise party to celebrate your part in saving Ponyville from the ursa attack. As soon as my harem heard what happened, their minds were set. Personally, I think Red Amber did quite well putting this together on such short notice.”
“I suggested we hire a professional caterer,” spoke the eloquent Sun Dancer as she stepped beside Celestia. The peach unicorn was also nude. “But I had to agree with Amber on this. This is a private party for the family, so only family should be involved.”
“Family?” Thomas inquired.
“Speaking of family,” Luna gestured to Moonlight and motioned her forward. Swift moved off to the side and joined the handful of guards stationed along the walls as they watched the festivities in smiling silence. “Your deeds are being celebrated as well. And sister, I believe there is somepony who wishes to speak with you.”
Moonlight Shield stood at attention beside Luna, staring stoically up at Celestia. “Moony,” Celestia smiled awkwardly. “Please remove your helmet. I wish to see the lovely mare the adorable filly I once knew has grown into.”
While briefly hesitating, Moonlight removed her helmet and held it beneath her arm. The naked guard and Princess shared awkward smiles before Celestia beckoned her towards the edge of the room, out of earshot of the others.
“It’s about time,” Sun Dancer nodded towards the Princess and guard before returning her attention to Thomas. “Celestia was so torn up when Morning Glow decided to leave the harem, taking all his foals with him. It’s good to see those two reunited again.”
“I still don’t really follow,” Thomas spoke up. “I mean, what exactly is the deal with Blueblood anyway?”
With a scowl, Sun Dancer lazily craned her head towards the other end of the hall. There, Captain Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza seemed to be in the middle of a heated argument with Prince Blueblood. “The Prince’s parents were killed in an accident when he was young,” Sun Dancer explained. “Celestia, in a misguided effort to keep him happy, wound up spoiling him rotten.”
Shining had his arms locked beneath Cadence’s in an effort to hold her back from assaulting the Prince… further. Blueblood seemed on the verge of weeping, rubbing his cheek as Cadence hurled a torrent of unintelligible insults his way. Thomas saw a few of Celestia’s harem watching the show and chuckling to themselves while others inserted themselves as peace keepers.
“Now,” Sun Dancer continued with a sigh. “Blueblood is something of the black sheep in the family. He’s not all that bad, but he’s disgustingly entitled, almost like a parody of how most imagine the aristocrats to be. In fact,” she smirked, “that’s exactly what he is.”
“I don’t follow,” Thomas admitted.
Sun just smiled and shook her head. “Wish I could tell ya, little guy, but the big oaf likes to be the one to share the secret. I don’t really know why, but that’s just how he is. Just know that the next time you catch him making an ass out of himself, he doesn’t mean any harm by it.”
“Alright,” Thomas nodded, not grasping the mare’s meaning one bit. “And how does that relate to Moonlight’s dad wanting to keep her away because of Blueblood?”
Sun just stared blankly back at Thomas a short while before covering her mouth to hold back the snickers.
“What? What!?”
“Oh boy,” Sun said to herself. “He’s gonna have a field day with this one.” And she walked off, leaving Thomas and Luna equal parts confused and annoyed.
“Who the buck said you guys are allowed to look glum!?” Talon shouted from behind. “This is a party and you’re the freaking guest of honor,” she pointed at Thomas.
“Me?”
“Buck yeah,” Talon held up a golden goblet, causing some wine to spill.
“Don’t be bashful,” said an approaching stallion. He had dirty brown fur, a black mane, and an impressively muscled physique. The hammer on his flank reminded Thomas that his name was Sure Hammer. “Tali told us all of your… amazing accomplishment,” he tittered, followed shortly by the snickers of the other concubines.
“I might have saved that filly, but otherwise I didn’t really do anything that special,” Thomas denied sheepishly.
“Kissing my sister wasn’t that special?” Shining asked as he led Cadence by the hand while she still continued scowling back at Blueblood.
Like Celestia, the pink Princess was also fully nude, save for her crown and horse shoes, likely because this was supposed to be an informal gathering and clothing was considered a formality. However, while most ponies did go around most of the time without clothing, Thomas still felt shocked when he met an important pony who normally wore clothes suddenly disregard them. Luna had only ever exposed herself to him while they were in relative privacy, but Celestia, and now Shining and Cadence, couldn’t care less who saw them.
Despite them both being well built white unicorns with similarly fine chins and even genitals of comparable size, Thomas had no trouble distinguishing Shining from Blueblood. Besides the difference in mane color, it was mostly in the way they carried themselves. Blueblood always walked around like a strutting peacock while Shining had a more respectful air about him, like someone who had been in the military most of his life and worked hard to earn his position at the top, though where that came from was anyone’s guess.
The Captain’s commanding presence was balanced out by the more disarming presence of the pink alicorn to his right. Once she decided that Blueblood was no longer worth her attention, she turned to Thomas with a disarming smile. Cadence’s long multi-colored mane and tail swayed behind her, bouncing with each step. In terms of height, she was only slightly taller than Shining, but this still left her the smallest of the alicorns… for now. Her breasts were somewhat smaller than Luna’s, which was still an impressive size. Thomas had to force himself to avert his gaze from her dark pink nipples and pubic hair cut in the shape of a heart before her coltfriend got any more upset with him.
“I… uh…” Thomas stuttered.
“Don’t worry,” Cadence held up her hand to stop Thomas. “Pleasure to see you again, auntie,” she tilted her head in a bow to Luna.
“Likewise, Princess,” Shining mirrored her actions.
“A pleasure as always,” Luna nodded in turn.
“My coltfriend knows you were only trying to shock little Twiley back to reality,” Cadence laughed. “A pretty good strategy, if I do say so myself.”
“Yeah,” Thomas insisted. “I didn’t mean anything by it. Honest.”
Shining furrowed his brow at the human. “You still stole my little sister’s first kiss. Her last letter described it in great detail. I trust that you’re not the sort of stallion to play with mares’ hearts. And if you were interested in my sister, you’d court her properly instead of kissing and running.”
“Stop scaring him, Shiny,” Cadence bumped his shoulder. “Mr. Thomas isn’t the sort of stallion to do that sort of thing.”
“Fine,” Shining relented. “Just having some fun with the little guy. But how would you know what he’s like?”
“For one, I’m the Princess of Love, but I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of that,” she cooed as Shining flushed. “Do I?”
“Please don’t,” the white stallion pleaded meekly. “It’s not good for morale for the soldiers to see their Captain walk around with a limp all the time.”
TMI, guys. Thomas judged harshly.
“We’ll talk about that later. However, this means I can literally see the connections between ponies and what they mean. Thomas here barely even regards Twilight as a friend, with absolutely no desires for any kind of physical relationship. Besides, even if I wasn’t me, it’d be pretty obvious that he’s too head over hooves for Auntie Luna to think much about anypony else,” she snickered. “He’ll need a bit more practice before he’s ready for Twiley.”
Thomas froze at hearing Cadence say those words so casually, but an arm around his shoulder pulling him close to Luna’s side and quickly killed his worries.
“Love you,” Luna’s voice was like the softest of silks combined with a defibrillator with the way it jumpstarted Thomas’ heart.
“L-love you too.” Thomas could only meet Luna’s eyes for so long before he blushingly became very interested in the tiles beneath his feet.
“I guess that’s alright,” Shining grumbled. “Still, stealing a mare’s first kiss isn’t cool, bro.”
“Sorry,” Thomas apologized. “It’ll never happen again.”
“Don’t be too sure about that,” Misty Breeze cut in. “Tali says you finally know what a Senior Concubine is. That means, when Luna finally brings in a new member, you get first dibs.” Her grin spread from ear to ear.
“What is that look for, Dearest Thomas?” Luna asked.
“It’s nothing,” Thomas dismissed.
Luna put her hand on Thomas’ back and gently pushed him away from the group. Once they were far enough, Luna stared down sternly at him, her eyes commanding him to confess.
“I… I’m just a little, ya know, nervous about being with Tali like that.”
“Be with Tali like what?” Talon asked, startling Thomas as she appeared behind him. “What’s the matter, little chimp? Intimidated by all this?” she struck a pose.
“It’s not that… not really,” Thomas admitted. “It’s just, I don’t know. We’re friends. Since coming to Equestria, you were pretty much my first friend besides Luna. I don’t…”
“Want that to change,” Talon finished, placing her claw on Thomas’ shoulder and giving him a reassuring smile. “Don’t sweat it, chimp. I won’t. Granted I am a bit disappointed that we won’t get to play together, but its fine. Ponies are a lot more casual about this kind of stuff, so I get where you’re coming from. If it happens, it happens, but I won’t pressure you to get all up in this,” she gestured to her hips, “if you aren’t comfortable with it. Alright?”
“Yeah,” Thomas sighed in relief. “That makes me feel a lot better.”
“Good,” Talon gave a firm nod. “Now, stop overthinking stuff and get your flank out there and mingle with the others before I decide to make you my personal cushion for the rest of the evening.”
With that, Thomas allowed himself to approach the other members of Celestia’s harem. He still had trouble with a lot of their names, but in general they were as easy going as Talon. The alcoholic cider didn’t hurt, either. Soon Celestia joined in their conversations, accompanied by Moonlight who greeted the older concubines she recognized. Shining and Cadence were laughing and joking with the rest of them. Even Blueblood, after much seething, stepped forward and made pleasant enough conversation with a few of the other concubines, but made sure to steer clear of Thomas, mostly because Luna refused to leave the human’s side and gave the stallion the stink eye any time he got too close. None the less, much merriment and booze was had.
Eventually the tarp came down to reveal a massive four layer cake. Thomas’ teeth hurt just looking at it, which he had to because etched in icing around the sides were murals depicting the ursa’s attack and eventual vanquishing. “Wow.”
“You like?” An earth pony mare with red fur and a white mane asked.
“Y-yeah. Um…” Thomas concentrated on the mare, trying to recall her name. “Red Amber, right?” She nodded. “Oh good,” Thomas exhaled in relief at successfully remembering a pony’s name. “You’re the one who handled the catering right?”
“That I am,” Amber puffed out her chest and set her hands on her hips proudly.
“Even the cake?” Thomas asked, still marveling over the sugary spectacle. “Because I swear it’s like you plastered photos onto the thing. That’s how good it looks.
“Well… all but this,” a deflated Amber pointed at the cake. “This was the only thing we didn’t make.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” she rubbed the back of her head guiltily. “See, I had the idea for a cake decorated to show what all happened during the attack. I wrote to Twilight for details, but I forgot to mention that I wanted to keep the party planning private. By the time I remembered to clarify, this,” she once more gestured to the cake, “had already been delivered.”
Thomas studied the cake carefully before returning his gaze back to Amber. “This all happened in a day?” He asked skeptically.
“An hour,” Amber corrected to the human’s disbelief. “I wrote and sent the letter, only to get distracted with other things. When it was pointed out that we needed to hurry up and start the cake, I had literally just sat down to start a new letter when the servants rolled this thing into the dining hall.”
Thomas performed a double take on the cake. “I thought things like this took days to make.”
“Oh,” Amber remembered and pulled a note out from behind her back. She was naked and her mane didn’t go down far enough to reach where her hand had gone, so where exactly the note came from was a complete mystery. “Here,” she handed it to the human. “It’s for you.”
Thomas took the note and eyed it warily. It smelled of cotton candy and had his name written on it. Deciding he had nothing to lose, he opened it. Once he recovered from the shock of confetti exploding out, he read:
Dear Mr. Thomas.
I’m really really really really reeeeeeeeally sorry for those mean things I said. I know it doesn’t make up for what happened, but I really hope you’ll accept this cake as a token of my sincerest apologies.
Love Pinkamena Diane Pie.
P.S. Next time you’re in town, I can make you cupcakes.
Thomas stared at the letter for a while longer, studying the crayon letters intently, especially that last message. Did she know what she just said? How could she? Then again, how could she have known that other thing?
“Are you alright?” Amber asked.
“Oh. Uh, yeah. Just the cake maker hoping I enjoy her work.”
“Well that’s nice,” Amber said as she cut off a slice and handed it to him. “Better not disappoint, then.”
Thomas folded the note and set it aside before taking the plate holding the slice. It was one of the edge pieces and therefore covered in the most frosting. Finding a fork, he cut off a piece and cautiously tasted it. “Awesome!” he cheered. “Milk chocolate with…” he took a second look at the slice to see a second layer of frosting within, “lemon!” His brow then furrowed. “How’d she know… ya know what? Never mind.” Thomas relented as he decided to just eat the cake. And listen to the surrounding conversations.
“So, Princess *hic* Cadence,” Steel Hoof asked, wobbling somewhat as the wine began to take its toll. “If you’re the Princess of Love, why don’t you gotta *hic* harem?”
“This again,” Shining sighed with a roll of his eyes.
Thomas looked up, curious to hear the answer as well. He saw Cadence tighten her grip around Shining’s arm and rest her head on his shoulder.
“Because Shining is my Prince,” Cadence said dreamily. “I really can’t see myself with anypony but him, at least not for more than one night,” she giggled.
“She doesn’t mean it,” Shining assured the others. “Me and Cadi have only been engaged a few weeks and we’ve only just set the date,” Shining explained to the congratulatory tittering of mares and hoots of stallions. “We’ve been looking into expanding the herd, maybe getting a harem too, but we’ve both been so busy lately that it’s been hard finding the time to look. Besides,” he leaned in and whispered loud enough for all to hear. “No pony’s been able to keep up with us in bed yet.”
“Shiny!” Cadence gasped as the surrounding concubines howled in laughter. She seethed at the stallion beside her, smiling so smugly at what he’d said. However, her mock anger quickly fizzled when he turned a gentler smile on her. With no other option, Cadence rolled her eyes and leaned in for a kiss.
Amidst the surrounding awes, Thomas almost stepped forward, but then thought better of it.
“Something the matter?” Celestia whispered into Thomas’ ear. “It looked like you wanted to say something.”
“I, uh,” Thomas said in a hushed tone. “I was going to ask if they’d thought to tell Twilight about their engagement.”
“So why didn’t you?” Celestia asked with a blank expression.
Thomas shrugged before explaining in a hushed voice. “In her surprise about the news, Twilight gets really suspicious of Cadence. That leads to her snooping around and, ya know…”
“Indeed,” Celestia nodded. “You have wisely chosen restraint in this matter, but do not fear. My agents will be watching my niece like a hawk until the wedding’s end. We have sentries all around Canterlot on the lookout for suspicious behavior. Thanks to your warning, I do believe we can successfully change the future, my young oracle.”
“Do they know?” Thomas asked, motioning to the engaged pair.
Celestia nodded. “Cadence has been advised to be on her guard until after the wedding. She knows not to go anywhere alone. Thankfully,” she smiled, “my niece spends most of her time with her fiancé anyway, so I suspect we have little to fear there.”
“If you say so,” Thomas relented.
“I do,” Celestia stood back to her full height. “Now return to celebrating. You’ve earned it, if Twilight’s letter was anything to go by,” she teased.
Party games soon followed, including pin the tail on the pony, spin the bottle, and an attempt by Celestia’s harem to form a pyramid, which only made it to three ponies high before it collapsed into a heap of drunken laughing concubines; and apparently someone had penetrated someone else. Later, a piñata in the shape of an ursa was brought out. Thomas was promptly blindfolded and given a stick, but all his efforts were for naught. A few more ponies had their turns before Moonlight stepped up and got it on the first swing, spilling its sugary innards to the ground below.
“Success,” Celestia cheered, embracing Moonlight from behind and causing the smaller unicorn to blush heavily.
“Joyous celebration!” Luna added.
“Too late,” Talon cut in as she bent over the pile of candy. “It’s already a *hic* party.”
“Leave the yellow ones for dearest Thomas,” Luna warned gently. “They are his favorite.”
“How did you know that?” Thomas inquired, mildly shocked at the alicorn knowing what he’d never told her.
“Dearest Thomas. Do you truly believe me so negligent?” Luna asked, bringing her hand to her forehead in dramatized distraught. “How you wound me.” The façade quickly fell as she began laughing. “Truthfully, I simply observed where your eyes fell whenever we paid visits to a candy store. You rarely ask for anything, but your desire is quite clear.”
Thomas beamed back at Luna. It was a small gesture, but it still moved him deeply. Seeing his smile, a few of the nearby mares cooed at how adorable he looked, which led to him blushing and their cooing to intensify. It was a vicious and merciless cycle.
It was 7:00 a.m. by the time the party began to die down. After filling up on party treats, there was a consensus that dinner could be skipped. The concubines soon dispersed, leaving the hall individually or in groups. Blueblood left with one of Celestia’s mares. Sun Dancer pulled Talon aside, looking quite serious as she whispered something in the griffon’s ear, to which she responded with a thumbs up. Moonlight replaced her helmet, a contented expression on her face as she took her position just behind her charge. The Princesses all exchanged hugs, vowing that they should do this more often. Thomas froze when Celestia knelt down to give him a goodbye hug, doing everything in his power to concentrate on the number of goblets still standing and not on the giant marshmallow fun bags pressed into his chest. One final nuzzle from the Princess of the Sun did not help matters, much to the amusement of the alicorns and even a bit of sympathy from Shining. Cadence also demanded a hug, which she only let go after whispering in his ear, “Have fun.”
Talon gave an affirming nod. “Now that the sappy stuff is out of the way, what’s say we head back to Moonbutt’s room to break in your latest herd-mate?”
The trip back to Luna’s room felt a lot longer than it usually did. Talon, who had elected to lock arms with both Thomas and Luna, could barely keep herself from skipping merrily along and muttering “Night Princess. Night Princess,” over and over in a sing song tone. Her breath smelled of wine. Once they arrived back at Luna’s bed chambers, the guards bowed and said their farewells before closing the door, leaving Thomas, Talon, and Luna all alone.
“Wo. Comfy,” Talon praised as she sat on the bed and bounced on the mattress.
“An alicorn settles for nothing less than the finest,” Luna proclaimed proudly as she removed her clothes.
Thomas moved to offer his help, but Talon quickly snatched him up and sat him on her leg, pressing a claw against his stomach to hold him in place. “Hey there, chimp,” she whispered seductively. “Heard your herd got itself a new member. Ya think she’s sexy?”
Thomas blushed heavily, unable to respond as the griffon pressed her breasts against his back. Herd-mate? “I thought you said we didn’t have to do anything.”
Talon straightened up, a look of mild annoyance in her eyes. “I said I won’t force you if you aren’t comfortable, and I meant it,” Talon assured, gently brushing the back of her claw against Thomas’ chest and causing him to shiver. “I also told you to stop overthinking stuff.”
“That you did,” Thomas agreed dryly. Despite her brash nature, Talon had always been considerate of him, even if she had an odd way of showing it. There was only one way the human could respond to such affection. “Thanks.”
“But if you happen to get caught up in the heat of the moment,” Talon whispered into his ear, her hot breath pelting his face, “I can’t be held responsible if you call out my name in the peak of ecstasy. Besides, I’d be a fool if I didn’t take advantage of that,” she gestured forward.
“I, for one, find you both quite appealing,” Luna, who had been silently watching the exchange, smiled seductively as she slowly removed her gown by hand. It would have taken mere seconds with magic, but the Princess had apparently decided to treat her concubines to a slow and deliberate strip tease. She occasionally glanced over at her audience and smiled at their intense leering. When it was over, the Princess of the Night was standing in the middle of the room in all her naked glory. Her mane and tail fizzled into a lifeless dark indigo heap as she put her hands on her hips in a proud pose. “And Dearest Thomas?”
“Y-yes?”
“Your new herd-mate has offered herself to you,” Luna paused to let her words sink in. “You have our leave to do as you wish.”
“Well you are a Princess, so I guess your opinion counts for something,” Talon teased.
“Indeed,” Luna nodded as she slowly strutted around the bed, occasionally gracing its occupants with a seductive glance as her buttocks and breasts bounced with each step. Her tail was raised just high enough to be noticed. After she finished stalking her prey, she swaggered up to the mattress and loomed intimidatingly over Talon and Thomas, hands on her hips as she posed for them.
While Thomas was initially hypnotized by the Princess’ seductive movement, he was distracted by the sound of ruffling feathers coming from behind. He turned around to see Talon’s feathers fully poofed and her wings flared out.
“Damn, filly,” the griffon awed. “You one fine piece of tail.”
“Piece of tail?” Luna’s ear flicked as her waving tail lifted and gently brushed Talon’s cheek, causing the griffon to shiver and inadvertently tighten her grip on Thomas. “Is that any way to speak to your Princess?”
“Don’t know,” Talon grinned eagerly and leaned in. “How does my Princess want me to talk?”
Luna leaned forward, bending over somewhat and allowing her bountiful breasts to dangle freely and tantalizingly just above Thomas’ face. At this distance, it was impossible for either griffon or human to escape the allure of her powerful scent. “It has been some time since we have partaken in the pleasure of a griffon’s company. What does our sister have you say?”
Talon took several consecutive deep breaths; greedily drinking in the alicorn’s aroused musk. “I-if,” Talon struggled to answer through half lidded eyes. “If nobody has any ideas, she just calls out positions and we wing it from there.”
“Interesting,” Luna answered with a deep, inviting voice as she leaned in even closer until her nose was less than an inch from the griffon’s beak. “What positions did you have in mind?”
Talon gulped, glancing down as an idea came to her and she grinned. “That’s an awful lot of alicorn for little ol’ me to handle by my lonesome. How bout I take the top half and chimp here gets the bottom.”
Luna nodded in agreement and climbed past them onto the bed. There she leaned on a pile of pillows as she stretched out across the mattress in an inviting pose. She reached out with one hand and beckoned her concubines forward. Talon practically tossed Thomas onto the bed sheets as she tore off her loincloth and frantically scampered on all fours over to the Princess, her tail involuntarily raised announcing her intent. The griffon threw a feline leg over the alicorn’s body and rested her red rump on the indigo stomach.
Thomas pulled himself up and watched as the two large females stared longingly into each other’s eyes. Some part of him told him he should feel jealous, but another part scolded him for trying to complain about a threesome. Because that was what this was. Human and griffon would each take half of the alicorn who was large enough that they could probably get through this without touching. But why is that a problem? She wants it. She said that she’s willing to go at my pace, but that still mean she wants to do it with me. They both do. What the hell is wrong with me that I’m trying to think of reasons to get out of a threesome with my wife and friend?
“Sister says that thou possess a masterful touch,” Luna said lustfully, breaking Thomas free of his negative thoughts. “Is this true?”
“You tell me,” Talon smirked as she gently brushed the tips of her sharp claws along Luna’s cheek, down her neck, and around her right breast. The griffon leaned in against Luna’s tremendous bosom and blew cool air onto her left nipple, causing Luna to whimper in delight. “That’s fine and all,” Talon added as she brought her claws back up and began teasing the alicorn’s right nipple. “But I’m afraid I’m gonna need real words, otherwise how will I know if you’re enjoying yourself.”
“Whehh…” Luna gasped. “W-we f-find thy t-touch most… ugh,” she moaned, unable to finish the thought as Talon leaned in and pressed her beak into the alicorn’s muzzle. The alicorn retaliated by wrapping her arms around the griffon’s back, cupping her fuzzy butt cheek in one hand and gently teasing the tips of her wing feathers with the other.
“Too many words,” Talon moaned into Luna’s mouth. “Just say…mgh… what you really want.”
“Mnn,” Luna moaned. “Thou tastes good.”
“There ya go,” Talon grinned before redoubling her efforts to make out and massage the giant alicorn titties.
From Thomas’ position, he could see their mouths open around each other with occasional glimpses of tongue as both females moaned cutely into the kiss. Under normal circumstances, Thomas might have felt a hurt at seeing his lover with someone else. However, the fragrance of both females’ aroused musk was drowning out all complex thought, leaving only the base desire to seek release.
“Dearest Thooooomaaaaas,” Luna called in a sing-song voice. The human in question looked up to see that the pair had momentarily parted. “Thou wouldn’t be neglecting thy duties to thy Princess, would ye?”
“You heard the mare, chimp,” Talon gasped. “The top lips aren’t the only ones that need attention.”
Thomas nodded eagerly as his limbs carried him around to between the alicorn’s parted legs. There he beheld the glorious sight of her pink slit, engorged in arousal and glistening slightly as her feminine juices trickled out. Beneath her sex was her cute little anus which Thomas couldn’t help but smile at. He knelt down and took a deep inhale of her aroused marehood, unintentionally catching a heavy whiff of griffon sex mixed in. The intertwining odors of both the females’ arousal caused his mind to go momentarily blank. Seeing her stallion momentarily distracted, Luna gave a whining moan. His senses returned soon enough, but they were immediately overcome once more by the powerful musk, burning heat, and beautiful sight that could inspire poets for generations.
A sparkle caught his eye and Thomas was once again focused on the alicorn’s marehood as she used her magic to part her lower lips, revealing the glistening pink insides as well as the swollen twitching nub. Thomas needed no further encouragement as he eagerly dove in and buried his face into Luna’s sex, bracing his hands against her silken soft thighs. He licked at her lips and drank her juices, which only increased in flow as he sucked on her clit.
“Wo there,” Talon exclaimed excitedly as Luna arched her back, threatening to throw the griffon from her mighty steed if she didn’t keep a firm grip on the pert breasts. Talon tried to settle back down, only to have the alicorn’s hand reach beneath her to begin teasing the griffon’s sex. The griffon, already soaking wet with arousal, greedily accepted the alicorn’s large fingers as they plunged deep within her. She resumed mashing their breasts together as things got even hotter.
Out of the corner of her eye Talon saw what had triggered the alicorn so, and to say that she was shocked would have been a bit understated. It was virtually unheard of for males of any race to engage in oral sex, at least when they were the ones using their mouths on females. There weren’t exactly any rules against it, but it was seen as more of a female’s task and thus was simply not done. And as Talon watched Thomas bury his face into Luna’s marehood, making all manner of agonizingly arousing slurping noises, the griffon made a solemn vow to correct this grievous error… eventually. For now, she had other priorities.
Encouraged by his mare’s reaction, Thomas explored deeper with his tongue, touching every millimeter of her vaginal walls within his reach while his nose pressed firmly against her clit. Between the stimulation from two partners at once, Luna’s pussy walls tightened around Thomas’ tongue as she was brought to her peak in no time. A river of love juices flowed from her sex, threatening to drown the human if he didn’t pull back.
Talon, on the other hand, was rewarded with Luna’s vice like grip on her wings and a powerful thrust into her sex, driving her to her own climax. However, if nothing else, Talon was a creature of desire and would not be satisfied by a single orgasm as she quickly resumed her affections. Drool ran down both women’s chins as they made out with greater passion. The feel of her own sensitive breasts against the superior mounds of the alicorn turned her on to no end.
Still leaning forward, Thomas stared at the two large women as they panted before him. He was somewhat disappointed that his usual view of Luna’s heaving breasts and orgasm face was obstructed. However, they were replaced by the rather intriguing view of Talon’s firm rump and dripping sex. Luna was the first to come down from her orgasmic high and gave the human a sympathetic smile.
“Dearest Thomas,” Luna said seductively, smacking her lips to enjoy the lingering taste of griffon mouth. “Art though feeling left out?” Her indigo tail snaked its way across the sheets before unfastening his loincloth and caressing his painfully erect cock with its velvety touch. “Thy little soldier seems eager to do his duty.”
Thomas scampered to pull himself up to Luna’s inner thighs and positioned himself at her entrance. Grabbing her cutie marks for leverage, he began teasing the head of his cock along her folds. Luna gave a frustrated groan and her legs quivered in anticipation. Gently Thomas pressed his manhood against her clit, causing her entire body to squirm which only drove him wilder. He proceeded to grind the length of his cock against Luna’s slit, humping against her core.
Luna’s moan was quickly muffled as Talon leaned in for another kiss. She wiggled her butt a bit, loving the feeling of her lover’s fingers digging into her sensitive cutie marks. Between the griffon grinding their breasts together and her human beginning to probe deeper into her marehood, Luna was in heaven.
Thomas had been eager to please, but there was only so much one stallion could do, especially one so small. As a pony, and especially an alicorn, Luna had grown accustomed to the attentions of a great many ponies simultaneously. And even if it was only two for now, Luna told herself that this would soon be rectified. Thomas knew she loved him. They might still have things to discuss, but that was the most important thing of all. All their mistakes and miscommunications were a thing of the past. If Luna’s tongue wasn’t currently engaged in fierce combat with Talon’s, she might have giggled like a school filly as she fantasized once again having a full and proper harem, a herd of ponies to love and be loved by.
However, the Princess’ fantasy was cut short with a loud gasp as Thomas plunged his full length into her pussy. The residual liquids from her earlier orgasm eliminated all resistance the human might have faced as he lingered inside her, enjoying the warmth of her vaginal walls rippling along his rod. Smirking into the kiss, Luna clenched her marehood tightly around Thomas in a friendly reminder for him not to dally. Thomas sank his fingers deeper into the softness of Luna’s cutie marks as he pulled out and thrust back inside. Soon he found a satisfying rhythm as he pounded her pussy like a piston.
Luna did her best to buck her hips into the human’s thrusts while her hands returned to the griffon. She grunted at the feel of Talon’s toned rump and chiseled abs beneath her touch. Talon tensed only an instant, but quickly relaxed and accepted the alicorn’s loving fingers. The still unfamiliar sensations of her newest lover excited Luna and made her wish she had more hands, so she did the next best thing and reached forward with her wings and firmly gripped Talon’s, causing the griffon to shriek in delight into her alicorn muzzle. The griffon then endeavored to maneuver her own wings to entangle with Luna’s until neither could move an inch without sending jolts of pleasure into the other. Luna’s belly was soaked in griffon juices.
“Luna,” Talon grunted into the large muzzle that threatened to encompass her entire beak. “Your breasts… I love them.” She emphasized by caressing her claws across the vast mammaries. Every square inch felt like paradise beneath her touch.
“Yes,” Luna moaned back. “Rub thyself between our fun bags. Massage them with thy entire form.”
“Oh buck yeah!” Talon eagerly obeyed, moving her hands out of the way to press her tits against the alicorn’s enormous orbs.
Normally this would be the part where Luna would begin encouraging Thomas with dirty talk and the occasional instruction, but her mouth was far too preoccupied with Talon’s. Thankfully, Thomas knew enough about her body and how to read its cues. His cock ached within Luna’s pussy as she squeezed tightly around him. He responded by quickening the pace of his hips against hers. He even released his grip of her left flank so that he could begin prodding her cum-drenched anus.
Luna missed sharing eye contact with her concubine, her real concubine, but he seemed fine on his own. Her pussy twitched in delight at the feeling of her lover’s burning hardness deep within her. She relished the feeling of his cock swelling inside her, ready to blow its load any second. She wasn’t far behind, and based on the way Talon’s pussy was quivering around her fingers, neither was she. All it would take was one last push to set them all off.
Thomas’ mind was lost to his animal lust and Talon was faring no better. The only thoughts between either of them was the urge to drive forward and seek satisfaction. Thomas hastened his pace as he felt Luna begin to tighten around him. Talon was grinding herself against Luna’s abs like her life depended on it. Perhaps this is why, in his lustful haze, when Thomas saw the feline tail excitedly waving in front of him, his reaction was to give it a short yet firm yank, driving Talon over the edge. The feel of the griffon’s latest onset of juices was the last straw for Luna as she too clenched firmly around the invading cock, drenching it in her marecum. And this was also the last push Thomas needed to release his load into Luna.
All three cried out in simultaneous orgasmic bliss and fell into a heap of sweaty bodies, but the night was not over yet.
Thomas found himself drifting in a void of sparkling sea blue mist. He was naked and his body free of the restrictions of gravity. He tried waving his arms to propel himself forward, but without anything else to judge his relative position, there was no noticeable effect. A moment later, Thomas felt his body being propelled forward by some unseen force into a cluster of sparkles. His body stopped at the edge of the cluster, which was actually comprised of shiny silver spheres. Now able to control his own movements, he set about to explore his surroundings.
He approached one of the spheres to examine it closer. Images played out across its rounded surface. He recognized the white unicorn as Rarity in what he assumed was the back room of Carousel Boutique where she did most of her designs. She had just put the finishing touches on a blue dress covered in constellations. Suddenly the sphere took on a shade of red as the constellations leapt off the dress and began chasing Rarity around the room, criticizing her for not making them right. Before anything else could happen, the sphere rippled and returned to its former calm silver.
Thomas jumped back at seeing the area around the sphere suddenly change to a familiar shade of indigo. His heart rate calmed as he realized that it was only Luna, also naked and drifting through this strange realm. She held her hand firmly against the sphere and gave him a welcoming smile.
“What the…”
Luna hushed Thomas by placing a finger to his lips and merely beckoned him forward to once again examine the sphere. Rarity was once again working on the dress back in her boutique, but it was different. The constellations had been replaced by more generic stars sparsely scattered around the plain blue fabric. Then Twilight strolled into the room, took one look at the dress, and then embraced Rarity, showering her with praise for doing such a good job while the fashionista wept with joy.
“This is the dream realm,” Thomas said in awe as he looked around the thousands of spheres surrounding them.
“Do you like it?” Luna asked hesitantly.
“It’s beautiful, but why am I here?”
Luna straightened her posture and took a more serious expression. “We are in the dream realm. Not your dreams specifically, as I shall wait until I am invited, but the space between dreams.” She paused to let her words sink in as Thomas resumed gawking at his surroundings with newfound understanding. “I felt we needed to talk and that this would be the best place to do so.”
Thomas nodded awkwardly. Luna had technically exploited a loophole in their agreement, but he didn’t mind. Something about this place, this void of portals into the minds of countless sleeping ponies, was strangely welcoming. But it’s strange too. It’s like… like I’ve been here before, but not ‘here’ here. He tried to think harder on the subject, but each time he felt like he was getting closer, whatever it was seemed to move just outside his reach. Ironically, it was not unlike trying to remember a dream. Deciding that whatever this feeling might be wasn’t immediately relevant, Thomas turned his attention back to Luna. “So, did you just help Rarity with her nightmare?”
“Nay,” Luna again shook her head. “Twas the nightmare of young Twilight Sparkle. She and the others have been most concerned with their friend’s wellbeing with her current workload as well as their displeasure with her creations.” Luna let her words linger as she floated around the sphere. “Dream walking is an art form. Sometimes it is enough to simply explain to the pony the source of their unhappiness, but others it is prudent to take a more subtle approach. Sometimes I take inspiration from a friend,” she smiled suggestively at Thomas. “In this case Twilight and the other Elements of Harmony have come to understand that they are the architects of not only their own unhappiness, but of Rarity’s as well.”
Thomas stared at the dream sphere in fascination as Luna explained the nature of her craft. “So… you’re the one who taught Twilight this lesson? That’s amazing. Although,” he hesitated. “It is going out of order again.”
“So concerned with the order of how things should be. Perhaps my stallion could better find peace by living in ‘what is’ rather than ‘what might have been’.” She smiled. “And I am not so certain that past tense is appropriate in this context,” Luna pointed out. “I sensed that Twilight and her friends were having trouble and did my duty to help. However, our world does hold a number of differences from the one you observed. It could very well be that my counterpart there took actions similar to my own, but I cannot say one way or the other. Regardless of what was or what might have been in an alternate reality, I have helped my citizens and they will learn a lesson that will only strengthen their friendship. That is what is.”
“That’s still pretty incredible.”
Luna gave a sad smile as she looked down at the dream sphere, finally lifting her hand from its surface. “Incredible. Yes. Incredible that I do so much to help the little ponies of Equestria, but I somehow neglect the feelings of those close to me.”
“It’s not all your fault,” Thomas tried reassure. It wasn’t Luna’s fault. It was never the other person’s fault. Thomas knew this for a fact, but he also knew letting others know how he felt would only upset them further. “Like everyone’s been saying, it was just a miscommunication. Those kinds of things happen in any relationship.”
“It is still my failing, not only as a Princess, but as a lover.” Luna reached out and took Thomas’ hands in her own. “Dearest Thomas, I fear that I have been acting as a love struck filly too caught up in passion to consider the ramifications.” The alicorn took a deep breath to calm herself. “I am an alicorn, a creature of powerful magic and powerful emotions. I have lived in this world for six thousand years and have seen wonders and horrors beyond what most can even imagine. Such a long life is both a blessing and a curse. I have had the pleasure of knowing and loving so many wonderful ponies, but I have also suffered the tragedy of their inevitable passing.”
Thomas felt Luna’s grip on his fingers tighten. He returned the gesture in what he hoped was a comforting act.
“But as they say, time heals all wounds. One relationship ends and another begins, but the new lover does not replace the old. I remember them all as if it were only yesterday: their quirks, their jokes, failings and passions, joys and sorrows, and all things that make life worth living. Ponies have always copulated in herd, but Alicorns in particular have a powerful lust that cannot be satisfied by so few, let alone a single lover.” She swallowed. “Please do not take it as an indictment of your performance, which has been truly wonderful, but it is simply the nature of ponies to herd in sizable groups. I hope you understand, as I would never wish to do anything that might hurt you.”
Thomas knew. On an intellectual level, he knew, but emotionally there were still doubts. Worse, he was certain that even if Luna proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she cared for him, those doubts would remain. However, this lead to the human remembering something he’d heard a long time ago. ”You are the architect of your own misery.” The statement had always given him a sense of empowerment. Bad things happen, but I’m the one who decides how I react to them. And he began to smile. I’ll always have those doubts, but I don’t have to listen to them. Of course he couldn’t simply ignore them. It was never that easy. However, looking up into Luna’s beautiful eyes, knowing there was someone out there who genuinely cared for him, committing himself to ignoring those bad feelings might not be so hard.
Thomas inhaled the airless void deeply, and then exhaled. “I think so,” he said simply.
Luna smiled appreciatively before continuing. “But more than that, my lovers serve to keep me grounded. The same with my sister. As old as we are, it is easy to lose perspective and only focus on the big picture. As I said earlier, in the old days we really did refer to you as consorts instead of concubines, for you served as emotional companions for my sister and I, giving us shoulders to lean on while we carried the weight of the kingdom upon our backs.
“I still remember my very first herd, my real first herd as well.” Luna laughed. “Circus Show, Bronze Aura, Mint Sprinkles, and Snow Treats. Circus Show loved to play pranks and was always laughing. Bronze Aura was a former guard and always so serious, but he was a stallion I could always rely on. Mint Sprinkles loved to do experimental baking and often guilted the rest of us into being her test subjects. And Show Treats, well… she was in love with love and made sure we were all properly romanced.”
Thomas nodded along in silence as Luna reminisced, pouring her heart out in such a way he figured she hadn’t done in at least a thousand years.
“We were so happy together, especially when we learned that Mint Sprinkles became pregnant with Bronze Aura’s foal. I remember Circus Show couldn’t stop herself from fawning over Mint’s pregnant belly. Unfortunately, the aristocracy was not so happy at the prospect a commoner giving birth to the next heir to the throne. When the first assassination attempt had been foiled,” she struggled, “we knew something had to be done. And as I said, this lead to the establishment of the royal harem system and the degradation of those we loved most by referring to them as concubines.”
The pair was silent a moment as Thomas processed Luna’s words. “I always knew I wasn’t your first, but I guess I never really took the time to really think about it like that.” Luna said nothing. “I guess you weren’t the only one acting like a foal and getting caught up in the passion of the moment.” He laughed uncomfortably. “You’re the first girl, or rather mare, that I ever really loved.”
Luna nodded and nuzzled the top of his head. “While under the curse of Nightmare Moon, I was unable to feel anything but anger. Once freed, it took so long for me to properly process feelings again. In fact, it wasn’t until your arrival that I had finally remembered how much I was longing for companionship.” Luna pulled Thomas into her embrace. “I still cannot thank you enough for accepting me as you did.”
“You accepted me too,” Thomas assured as he did his best to wrap his arms around his Princess. The next part was much more difficult. “I’d… I’ve always been so alone. My awkwardness always made it so that I’d inevitably say the wrong thing, so I figured it’d just be easiest to say nothing at all,” he admitted, remarking on how easy the words were flowing and congratulating himself for saying this much. “I always thought I wasn’t good enough and that everyone would be better off if they simply didn’t know me. Then I meet someone as amazing as you and suddenly those old feelings don’t seem to matter so much. I want to talk to you for the rest of my life.”
“But those feelings still matter,” Luna said bluntly. “Your feelings will always matter, at least to me. Of this, you have my word.”
“So… you definitely still plan on expanding the harem?”
Luna did not answer right away. “Yes.”
…
“If that’s what you want…” he smiled, “I think I can bring myself to sleep with some sexy mares, but only for you,” he half joked.
Luna smiled, but pulled away from Thomas so that they could look each other in the eye, but kept him firmly in her grasp as she gave him a warm smile. “You are so wonderful, dearest Thomas. This practice goes against your cultural beliefs, but you are still willing to do it if it means my happiness.”
“It’s actually not that strong a belief,” Thomas admitted. To be frank, I’d probably have a harder time farting in public. Of all the things the fanon came up with, thank god that one doesn’t apply here, though I’d best not jinx it. “At least not for me. That’s kind of every guy’s fantasy, but it just never happens without all kinds of bad complications.”
“It’s complicated here too,” Luna added. “That is simply the nature of relationships, platonic or otherwise. You have to worry about making sure your herd is happy and well loved, being there for them and letting them be there for you. I think it’s safe to say that that’s a good kind of complication, wouldn’t you?”
“My herd?” Thomas repeated. “I…”
“It will be your choice, dearest Thomas,” Luna said, calming his worries with a quick kiss to the forehead. “You are free to give your love to whomever you see fit, so long as you save some for me.”
“No problems on the latter,” Thomas smiled, but it quickly faded. “But, who would even want me? I mean, besides social climbers just trying to use me to-”
Luna silenced him with a hush as she pressed her finger to his lips. “Now, none of that,” she said sternly. “You are my precious little human. And, when you are ready, you will find somepony who loves you for you, just as I do. You’ll have a herd of your own outside the harem. And when that day comes, I expect you to introduce us.” She added with a wink. “Are we clear?”
Thomas leaned in and bit playfully at Luna’s nose. “Crystal.”
Luna beamed and hugged Thomas all the tighter. “I must be the luckiest alicorn in the world to have one such as you.”
“I guess that makes me the luckiest human, though only because there’s no competition.” The pair shared a brief laugh at the little joke.
“I know this is hard for you, so I’m willing to be patient for as long as it takes,” Luna consoled as she brought Thomas back against her chest. “And when the interviews begin, I assure you that your opinion will matter as much as my own. You are the first of my herd. If the new pony cannot make you happy, then they cannot make me happy.”
“Thank you, Luna,” Thomas sighed contentedly as he rubbed his face into Luna’s fur. “Love you.”
“Love you too.”
“However, there is one more thing I wish to assure you of,” Luna added.
“And that is?”
“The new concubines. You can bet your flank they’ll be the sexiest ponies in the kingdom. I would settle for nothing less.”
The human and his alicorn remained in each other’s arms, both in the dream world and the physical world. There was no need or any other words or actions. For the time being, the two were content to simply have each other’s company. There were still questions, but could wait for another time.
Talon was the first to wake up that Sunday, stretching her limbs out in a low roaring yawn. She surveyed her surroundings and found herself snuggled closely against the left side of Princess Luna, who was resting with a contented smile. Suddenly the memories of last night came rushing back as a tiny crack of light crept through the curtains. She, the human, and the alicorn had changed positions twice and had reached their peak several times, or at least she did. Thomas had tuckered himself out about half way through, leaving her and Luna to tend to each other. Talon grinned smugly as she remembered the look on the Princess’ face as she squirmed beneath the griffon’s expert touch.
Then she frowned. Another memory came to her which she was having a bit of trouble processing. The whole thing just seemed so unlikely that it demanded investigation. She craned her head and twisted her back to look down past her wings at her raised flank. Sure enough, there were bite marks on her hiney. But not just any bite marks, oh no. Talon was more than familiar with this manner of play, she’d asked for it enough, and could tell right off the bat that these marks were not left by the flat herbivore teeth of a pony. No, these marks more resembled the sharp teeth of a meat eater. Swiveling her head around, Talon gazed over the bare heaving chest of the mighty alicorn to the comparably diminutive figure of the human snuggled up to Luna’s right.
Nodding approvingly, Talon craned her head a bit more until she got her first clear view of something she’d never seen before. “Not bad,” she continued to nod as she stared at Thomas’ groin. “Probably not the best time to judge while he’s limp, but I guess that’s pretty good for one his size. Shape’s a little weird though.”
“Verily.”
Talon flinched as her head snapped downwards where she quickly relaxed at seeing Luna’s contended smile. “You up now too?”
“We were up the entire time,” Luna sighed as she shifted herself up, careful not to disturb Thomas’ rest. “Unlike the pair of you, an alicorn is not so easily worn out.”
Talon cocked her head. “I probably should have known that, but then why’d you look asleep?”
“Is it not obvious?” Luna giggled when Talon didn’t answer. “We were enjoying the cuddle of two lovers at once.”
“Ah,” Talon realized. “I guess it’s been a while since ya had anything like that.”
“Indeed,” Luna sighed, turning to Thomas and gently stroking his hair. “Even if only one was our real lover.”
“Ouch,” Talon frowned.
Luna smiled back at the griffon. “We mean no disrespect. Of course your services in stabling are most appreciated, but… I hold no delusions about our relationship. You might love me, but it is only the love of a friend or any of your, as you say, one-night-stands. Your heart belongs to Tia and her harem, not me, but that does not mean we cannot enjoy our time together.”
Talon beamed happily back at the alicorn. “I wish more ponies could be as mature as you about this stuff.”
“Maturity comes with age,” Luna shrugged. “You are unlikely to encounter many with as many years as Tia or myself.”
“Not a problem, Moonbutt,” Talon shrugged. “Even I’m not greedy enough to want more than two alicorns in my life, but… if Cadence were to, ya know, make the suggestion…”
“I do not think that is likely,” Luna said with a gentle smile.
“I think we can plan for my all-powerful alicorn harem later,” Talon laughed as she slid out of bed. “For now, why don’t we focus on prepping your harem?”
“Verily,” Luna cheered softly as she continued to stroke Thomas’ hair. “Where would you have us begin?”
“Ugh,” Talon groaned as she walked awkwardly over to the dresser with the spare uniforms. “My rump is a little sore. Think it’s gonna take me a while to recover after what you and my new herd-sister did,” she laughed at her own joke while rubbing the sore cheek.
“Sister?” Luna puzzled as she watched the limping griffon. “Things have indeed changed these last thousand years. Would the more appropriate term not be herd-mate?”
“It would, but I’m pretty sure calling the chimp my sister would really irk him and he gets pretty cute when he’s flustered,” Talon explained as she slipped on one of the lunar harem uniforms. “But as for where to begin, I assume you’ve got a list of candidates,” she said as she admired herself in the mirror.
“Indeed,” Luna nodded. “With Lady Attentive’s aid, we have narrowed it down to five of the ponies applying here in Canterlot, with the potential for a sixth.”
“The way you said the sixth sounded really suspicious,” Talon noted from Luna’s vanity as she looked in the mirror and stroked a comb through her feathers. When she saw Luna’s reflection avert her gaze, Talon knew she was on the right track.
“The sixth is one of the few ponies that we, er, I… recognize, if you understand the meaning.”
“I do,” Talon nodded with a smirk.
“This time our relationship with her is somewhat complex. For the time being, I feel it best to content ourselves with her friendship and focus on other, less awkward prospects.”
Talon turned to face Luna with a frown. “Ya know, I never liked it when Leste was being evasive with me, either.”
Luna shuffled her wings uncomfortably. Talon was right. To aid in Thomas becoming more open, she should set an example. “Tis just that you both know her,” she gestured to Thomas, “and I do not want things to be more awkward than they already are.”
“Awkward?” Talon raised an eyebrow as she set the comb down. “It’s a freaking miracle the chimp managed to do what he did with me in the picture, even with the alcohol in his system. Who could possibly be more awkward than… wait…” Talon’s eyes widened as it came to her. There was only one mare who fit the bill. “Nooooooo,” she awed before pointing at the door. “You mean she…”
Luna nodded with a hesitant smile.
“Sweet bucking Faust, filly!” Talon cheered gleefully. “She’s… and he… I mean wow. No wonder denying destiny is a death sentence in university. I mean that just goes above and beyond coincidence.” As her excitement fizzled, Talon leered down at the still sleeping Thomas. “I’m a tell em.”
“No,” Luna asserted bluntly.
“I’m a do it,” Talon grinned mischievously as she sauntered over to the bed.
“You better not,” Luna snarled, baring her teeth.
“Herds need to be open and honest,” the griffon lectured playfully. “I’m a tell em.”
“Tell em what?” Thomas asked with a yawn as he pulled himself up from his power nap. He stretched his arms out in an attempt to fight off the comfort of the warm alicorn beside him threatening to send him back to sleep. “What are we talking about?”
“We’re talking about expanding the harem,” Talon beat Luna to the punch. “Apparently she’s got five candidates in mind.”
Luna fought the urge to beam in elation at Talon for keeping the secret. Both knew that Thomas was still adjusting to Equestria, but the secret they held now was not a thing the average Equestrian was made privy to. The shock might be a bit too much for him. As such, it was heartwarming that Talon agreed that this was something they’d need to ease him into; no matter how much she disliked secrets. But as she contemplated the secret she was keeping from one herd-mate, Luna couldn’t help but consider the other secret she was keeping from the other. Granted that Talon was only stabling with them, but she would have to agree with the griffon in that it didn’t feel right for a herd to keep secrets like this.
Thomas gave a long sigh, finding the strength to smile as the memories of his dream talk with Luna surfaced in his mind. “Alright then.”
Luna frowned down at Thomas, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “You do not seem very enthusiastic. Perhaps it would be best if we postponed…”
“No,” Thomas held up his hand and gave another long sigh as the memories of the dream began to settle in. “I think… I think I’m ready, at least for the interviews. If nothing else, I want to try being more outgoing in life.”
“Great attitude for meeting your future herd-mates, chimp,” Talon cheered sarcastically. “Don’t think I’ve ever met a male so bummed at the prospect of sex with a bunch of females pretty enough for a Princess. But on what we were talking about earlier,” she addressed Luna, “about avoiding awkwardness, would any of these candidates happen to be male?”
“One is a stallion, yes,” Luna nodded worriedly as she saw Thomas grimace. She knew where this was going.
“Well we can probably postpone that interview,” Talon said matter-of-factly. “Chimp’s still pretty bent against sleeping with other guys. He could barely watch me demonstrate the sensitivity of horns on a stallion I know. I thought Attentive would have caught on to that,” she finished questioningly.
Luna’s ears briefly splayed in disappointment, but quickly returned to their previous stance before Thomas could see. “Very well. I suppose Lady Attentive was just being a little optimistic, there.”
“Of course,” Talon said skeptically. “It was Attentive who was being optimistic.”
Thomas held his best neutral expression. It’s normal. He told himself. It’s not that she’s bored with me. She’s just used to having… multiple guys… doing… And Thomas immediately imagined his thoughts as a television screen, only to shatter it, as he had trained himself to do with uncomfortable thoughts. It was just like Talon said. He was nowhere near ready to be with guys if he couldn’t even bring himself to imagine what Luna had done in the past.
“Talon, you are more familiar with modern courtship rituals,” Luna continued. “How would you recommend going through with the remaining four mares? We *tap* I accepted the last three applicants because they were assigned by Tia, but I would like to hear your opinion.”
Talon scratched the bottom of her beak as she pondered. “Leste likes to do group interviews and narrow it down from there, and while four does seem right for that sort of thing and I don’t think chimp’s mentally prepared for that anyway.”
“Probably right,” Thomas admitted, trying not to sound too embarrassed.
“There are a few ways we could go about this, you know, beside the traditional attendant route,” Talon explained. “First method is where you, me, and the chimp’ll meet them one at a time. We talk, get to know each other, go on a few discreet dates, preferably with you guys in disguise so you won’t be bothered by the paparazzi, and just see where it goes from there. The second method is like the first, but you’re in disguise from the start. You get to know each other without them being all nervous about being with the Princess.”
Luna nodded. “Seems little has changed in this regard as sister and I have used both these methods for millennia. The dates are arranged such that we interact with one another as a group, but also have private time together to get a better feel of the pony’s personality, correct?”
“Or the pony could do something amazing to sweep you off your hooves,” Talon suggested. “It worked pretty well for me.”
“That,” Luna grinned slyly, “and Tia was already quite familiar with you.”
“Familiar?” Thomas asked quizzically. “Like she read about her in the paper or something?”
Luna froze, realizing her slip.
“Far from it,” Talon smiled, ignoring the alicorn staring daggers at her and threatening untold torture, most likely related to bondage and butt stuff, if she dared reveal the secret. “I never told you this part of the story, but Leste likes to tour the kingdom from time to time. It was about two years before the incident at the Summer Sun Celebration when we were called in for a royal inspection. She’d just walked by me and I remember thinking that her plot was bouncing a lot more than it needed to,” Talon reminisced with a snicker. “She caught me staring and grinned. After that, I started receiving letters from a mysterious admirer who signed her letters as C. Never did find out who sent those letters, cept the return address was to Canterlot Castle.”
“Aww,” Luna cooed. “That’s so romantic.”
“Never found her, huh?” Thomas asked with a deadpan stare.
“Never,” Talon shook her head with a proud grin. “Not even with the serial number beneath the address which I later found out was the code for Leste’s bedroom. Nope. Never found her.”
Finally Thomas cracked a smile and shook his head. “I guess that was a sweet story.”
“Happy to see romance is not completely lost on you,” Luna nudged him.
“Why are you two so happy?” Talon asked, somehow curling her beak into a pout. “I never found the pony who sent me all those romantic letters. This is a sad story.” She pouted with greater intensity as her bedmates struggled to hold back their laughter. “I’m serious. I never got to meet her, never got to find out whether her plot or her breasts made for the better pillows, and I certainly never used these claws to make her howl like a horny timberwolf.” Talon could only hold a straight face for so long before she joined them in their juvenile snickers.
When the laughter petered out, Luna discretely gave Talon an appreciative nod before she and Thomas slipped out of bed.
“Uh uh,” Talon shook her head as she glared at Thomas.
“What?” He asked as he held up one of the pillows over his groin as he walked to the dresser.
“Lessons are still on, chimp,” Talon said as she swiped the pillow from his grip, causing him to squat as he covered his groin with both hands. “That means we’ve gotta get you over being ashamed of your own body.”
“It’s called modesty,” Thomas sneered. “And I’m not ashamed.”
“It’s called really silly,” Talon countered. “I don’t really get how this worked back in the human country, but in Equestria, most ponies go naked. Clothes are actually a sign of the exact opposite of modesty, or maybe they’re for a special occasion or serve some function. Clothes for the sake of clothes is just weird and the mares we’re gonna be meeting will think so too.”
Thomas stood frozen in his awkward squatting position. He knew there was no logical reason to be embarrassed by nudity when no one else was. He’d gotten used to walking around with a bare chest and legs, but the uniform had always served as a powerful psychological comfort. Luna was staring expectantly at him, waiting for whatever he did next. With great trepidation, Thomas slowly straightened his back. And though his hands resisted, he eventually commanded them to part and reveal his manhood for all the world to see in this one room. He braced himself, ready for whatever teasing Talon had planned for him.
“Good colt,” the griffon commented nonchalantly, patting his shoulder before looking up at the clock. “Almost 8:00 a.m. already? That was a hay of a power nap.”
Luna snapped to face the clock and bolted out to the balcony, paying no heed to her nudity. Talon casually followed her out while Thomas took the opportunity to slip a uniform on. He caught up with them just in time to see the last glimpse of the moon disappear over the horizon. The sun had begun it’s climb at 7, making the lingering presence the moon and stars a rather awkward sight. Thomas considered teasing Luna on the matter, but figured the chewing out she’d get from Attentive Eye and Kibitz would be punishment enough.
“It’s a new day,” Talon commented optimistically.
“That it is,” Luna agreed.
Thomas walked up beside his Princess. “And so much to look forward to,” he added as he took Luna’s hand. They went back to bed shortly after, as their bodies were all still set towards evening hours.
Moonlight groaned in annoyance as the antique cuckoo clock went off. It was a family heirloom and the chime was quite pleasant, mildly melodious, but just blaring enough to rouse the dead. As such, the mare returned to the realm of the living by unceremoniously kicking her sheets off, revealing her buff form. The mare had never seen much point in pajamas, especially when it was so warm out, so she usually did without. Sliding out of bed as her hooves hit the ground with a light clop, she rose to her full height, took a few quick stretches, and made a quick survey of her room. The shelves and their contents all seemed in place. The desk hadn’t been moved. Her armor was as clean as she’d left it yesterday. And the lock on the safe she hid under her bed hadn’t been tampered with, meaning her toothbrush hadn’t sprouted arms and legs to go for a swim in the toilet.
Everypony got so mad that day. Moonlight thought as she applied the lock-combination while recollecting an event from her foalhood. They all said it was a dream, or that I was lying to cover up a revenge prank, which big sis would have totally deserved after what she did to my socks. But I know what I saw and that toothbrush definitely grew limbs. It even extended its middle finger like an odd thumbs-up when it saw me. Maybe that’s how toothbrushes greet ponies? Whatever. So long as it doesn’t happen again, I’m willing to pretend it never happened in the first place. She thought as she regarded the toothbrush suspiciously before continuing her routine.
Oral hygiene taken care of, Moonlight jumped in the shower, feeling proud of how her position in Luna’s House Guard had earned her a room with a fully furnished and private bathroom. As a soldier, it just felt so oddly decadent as she scrubbed herself down before drying off. After relieving herself, she proceeded to pull out her personal grooming kit, complete with a variety of brushes, clippers, and other things. Guard or no, a mare still had to keep up appearances. She even took the time to brush her mane, despite the fact that it spent most of the time hidden under her helmet. After trimming all unsightly long hairs in her mane, tail, fur, and pubic hair (all of her mothers had taught at a young age the importance of trimming the hedges) she was clean. Her orange coat even gave off a satisfying twinkle, which was perfectly normal.
Next came the morning workout. Push-ups, sit-ups, pulls, twists, and concluding with touching her hooves. She always performed that last task making sure her backside was facing away from the door. Her tail always wanted to lift when she bent over like that. This meant that, if somepony were to walk in on her with her back end facing the door, she would either die of embarrassment, or accidentally kill somepony. Either way, there would be grotesque amounts of paperwork. All that was left was to don her armor, which she did one sheet at a time, and she was ready to meet the… day. Huh. This must be what Thomas and Luna feel like when adapting to modern speech. She thought in amusement.
**********
Breakfast was in chow hall, as usual. However, since she’d begun hanging out with Talon and Thomas, she’d adjusted her routine to consuming two smaller portions in the morning instead of eating as much as she wanted to in one sitting. It was a bit of a chore, but it meant she got to enjoy meals with all of her friends, so it was worth it. On the bright side, she had Sundays off, meaning Thomas and the others would most likely be doing something indoors, which in turn meant she could eat all she wanted this morning.
“And the royal wrangler returns!” Called out a stallion as he waved her over.
…so worth it.
Moonlight rolled her eyes as she carried her tray over to the others. They were all fresh recruits, graduating the academy and joining the various divisions of the guard in the same year. There was Lavender Crush, the purple Pegasus stallion who called her over and liked to play den mother to the others; a red unicorn mare named Quick Strike who, while seemingly clumsy, never failed to hit her mark; the obscenely large brown earth pony stallion named Sturdy Spear, whose quiet nature concealed a terrifying power house; and the group was rounded out with Blade Grace the light gray bat pony mare who, in keeping with the stereotype of her race, was a devout follower of Luna.
Her friends all cheered and patted her back as they welcomed her to the table, but she still turned a disapproving glare at Lavender Crush. “I don’t mind what you guys say about me, but you shouldn’t say things like that about Thomas. He’s very sensitive.”
“Who said anything about the human?” Lavender Crush scoffed. “We’ve heard the stories about what that griffon, Talon, gets up to. You keep her in check, right?”
“Oh.” Well that’s a different matter entirely. “In that case, I’m afraid you overestimate my abilities.” She explained coolly as she took a sip of her tea, trying to keep a straight face while the others snickered around her. It wasn’t easy.
“How is she not a mom yet?” Quick Strike asked. “I mean birth control spells can only get you so far. If even half the things I’ve heard are true, you’d think something would have slipped past by now.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Sturdy Spear asked before blowing on his porridge. The others waited with bated breath as he slowly slipped the spoon into his mouth and chewed slowly. An outsider would be forgiven for thinking he was building suspense on purpose, but this was just how the giant pony was. “She’s getting enhanced spells from the Princesses, things not available on the general market.”
“Is that it?” Quick directed her question at Moonlight. “Does the harem get accesses to off-market merchandise?”
“Why keep something like that off the market anyway?” inquired Lavender. “If it’s safe enough for the concubines, why not make a small fortune from the extra cautious ponies out there?”
Moonlight gave an exacerbated sigh. “I don’t know. But even if they did, you know I wouldn’t be allowed to tell you.”
Moonlight leered at Grace from across the table. Despite her denial, or the fact that they were all in the House Guard, the bat pony had been jealous of the unicorn receiving the special assignment of guarding Luna’s Senior Concubine. And when Moonlight confessed discussing the infamous Prench incident, Grace had never failed to bring up the subject as a reminder of her failure in keeping the Princess’, her Princess’ secrets. “Are you ever going to let that go?”
“I think she’s just jeal-damn it!” Quick stumbled as she dropped her fork to the floor. Leaning down to pick it up, the others made sure to give her ample distance. Almost expectedly, the unicorn managed to slip and somehow land on her back under the table with her hooves high in the air.
“You alright?” Lavender smirked as he asked the pair of hooves beside him.
“Fine… ugh. But I was trying to say that she’s just jealous that a certain somepony gets front row seats to some of the juiciest action in the castle.”
“Why do you never use your magic?” Sturdy asked. “Seems you could save yourself a lot of trouble that way.”
“Don’t change the subject!” Quick snapped as she struggled to recollect herself, her armor clinging and scraping the whole time. “We’re talking about the Princesses’ secret sex lives.”
“No. We are not.” Grace said flatly. “They are secret for a reason and we would all do well to respect that.”
“Yeah, but what reason exactly?” Lavender asked to a perplexed audience. “I’m serious. Why are the Princesses so secret about their sex lives? I mean, what’s the big deal?”
“He makes a fair point.” Quick agreed, finally righting herself. “What makes their sex lives so special that they actually make rules about keeping them secret?”
“Obviously they want their privacy,” Grace countered sternly.
“What’s there to be private about?” Quick inquired. “They teach this stuff in school. Hay, my moms taught me a whole bunch of positions to help keep things fresh.” She leaned in to the group and lowered her voice. Even Grace, as if on reflex, couldn’t help but join the others in their spontaneous huddle. “Apparently, dad really liked it when they did it belly-to-belly and he was the one being mounted.”
“He was being mounted? I thought you only had one dad.” Sturdy asked, to which the others nodded in agreement.
“I do,” Quick smirked, obviously pleased with herself at holding the others’ attention. “It was my moms who were doing the mounting.”
“You mean… with toys or something?” Moonlight inquired. What her friend was describing simply wasn’t making sense. Mares can’t mount stallions. How would that even work?
“Did he turn his penis around?” Lavender pressed, just as confused as the others. “I’ve heard a little about that. Seems like it’d be really uncomfortable though.”
Quick just kept on smirking. “Belly-to-belly, remember?” There was a near unanimous “oh” from her audience as all pulled back, finally satisfied as they were able to picture exactly what their friend had been describing. “I think they call it dolphin style.” She added while the others reflected on their mental images.
However, Moonlight was still having trouble. Theoretically it made sense, but it just seemed so strange. Since she didn’t know Quick’s parents, she tried to visualize her own. Father on his back, probably on a bed. Mom Misty Arrow comes in and… climbs on top? The image just wasn’t clicking for some reason. There was no embarrassment in her imaginings. She knew what her parents did behind closed doors. It was the same thing any loving herd did when the mood struck, or they wanted to show their affection, or for no reason at all. It was a perfectly natural act. That’s how she was conceived, after all. However, this belly-to-belly thing just wasn’t making sense. Her confusion must have been present on her face, because that’s when Quick waved her hand to draw Moonlight’s attention.
“Try imagining the Prench incident, but where his torso is coming out between her legs.”
“Ooooh!” Moonlight finally got it as she reconsidered her mental image. Mom Misty Arrow would be sitting on dad’s pelvis while he penetrated her. Now it finally makes sense. She nodded in appreciation to her friend as she silently congratulated herself for finally understanding. Moonlight then let her gaze fall absentmindedly to her food as the image lingered in her mind. Luna, naked, sitting atop Thomas, while his penis enters her vagina…
“Was it really necessary to bring that up again?” Grace chastised.
“In this case, yeah,” Quick nodded. “But you see my point. It’s perfectly fine to talk about this stuff, so long as the Princesses aren’t involved. Why?”
“Could be older customs,” Sturdy suggested. “They’re thousands of years old. Things were a lot different back then. Maybe they’re just sticking to old practices in their personal lives because that’s what makes them most comfortable.”
“Finally.” Grace threw up her hands in relief. “Somepony speaks some sense on the matter.”
“Which he wouldn’t have been able to do if he’d hushed like you said.” Quick retorted snarkly, leading to a viscous staring contest between the two mares.
Lavender rolled his eyes at the display. He knew that look. These two were going to have words at the end of their shift. “Good theory, but I’m not so sure.” He said to Sturdy. “I took some advanced history classes and, from what they described, it’s basically been all over the place when it comes to what’s acceptable regarding sex. One century it’s taboo to even say that it exists, and the next they’re mounting in the streets. In fact, I’m pretty sure my professor said that in those first few centuries after the wendigoes, when they were struggling to keep the population stable, that the Princesses loosened age restrictions and that foal-fiddling was deemed acceptable; or at least not seen as bad.”
There was a pregnant pause in the group. Even Moonlight was drawn from her previous thoughts to consider the ramifications of what Lavender had just described.
“Bah!” Grace sneered. “No doubt one of the Sun Princess’ policies, assuming it’s even true.”
“And here we go again,” Quick scoffed. “The bat pony staying true to the stereotype and being a Luna fanatic.”
“Fanatic?” Grace seethed.
“Yeah. Fanatic,” Quick set her hands on the table in an aggressive posture, causing Grace to do the same.
“Since when is it fanatical to show proper reverence for the elegant diarch of the night?”
“Since, no matter what the books say, the books that both Princesses approve of, you’re never able to accept that, sometimes, the all-powerful alicorns aren’t always perfect. They make mistakes like anypony else.”
This was bad. Lavender and Moonlight exchanged looks that said as much. This was always a touchy subject for both mares. While Quick loved to push Grace’s buttons about her love of Luna, they did sometimes take things a bit too far and they both said things they regretted later. Both mares could see it coming as well as their watchers, so maybe, just this once, they’d stop themselves before things escalated too far.
“You want to talk about mistakes?” Grace growled. “What about Celestia’s mistake of neglecting her younger sister and driving her to madness?”
Or not.
Now they were in trouble. Even the surrounding ponies had caught wind of what was being said and were eyeing the pair warily. Lavender and Moonlight both readied themselves to tackle the two to the ground to mitigate damage. If somepony didn’t do something, anything, this could break out into a full on fight.
“What’s Thomas’ penis like?” Sturdy asked nonchalantly. His question had caught them so off guard that all tension had left the table. “He does have one, right?”
It took a moment for the friends to fully recover from their surprised stupor. The quarreling mares finally looked back at one another, their body language conveying submission in a show of remorse. In time they smiled meekly and whispered words of apology. They had remembered they were friends, good friends, and they turned to offer grateful smiles to Sturdy for stopping them before they forgot it. When their shift was over, he’d be invited for words too.
Quick was the first to break the silence. “I’ve… been wondering about that myself. Does he ever go outside without his loincloth?”
“I’ve certainly never seen it,” Grace agreed with a sigh of relief at the subject change.
Quick looked like she wanted to say something. No doubt it would be something along the lines of ‘why is it okay to talk about him but not the Princess?’ Thankfully, the unicorn managed to hold her tongue long enough for Lavender to notice and anticipate the question. “We’re not talking about what he’s like with the Princess. We’re talking about what he’s like in general.”
Grace smiled appreciatively and even Quick looked satisfied with the explanation. Sturdy showed no expression. However, Moonlight became very nervous as all eyes turned toward her.
Moonlight did her best to pretend she wasn’t listening. But the inching of her friends ever closer was becoming harder to ignore. She had no choice but to surrender and answer. “He’s very shy and doesn’t like to show off that part of himself. It’s part of his culture to show modesty.”
“Oh please,” Quick dismissed. “That’s not an answer. Come on. Give us the juicy details.”
“Juicy?” Moonlight couldn’t help but smirk at what her fellow unicorn must have been imagining. “Well, I suppose there’s no harm in it. It’s just anatomy after all.”
“There ya go!” Quick cheered triumphantly. “Now hurry up and get on with it.”
“Ever the patient one,” Moonlight noted as she picked up her cup and ever so slowly took a long sip of her tea, much to the agitation of all. When she had finished tormenting them, she contented herself to honesty. “I’ve never seen it either.”
“What?”
“No way.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“It’s true.” Moonlight admitted to her disappointed friends. “We did shower together once.” Her audience renewed their hope as they leaned back in. “But he was embarrassed, so I didn’t try looking.”
“You had a prime chance to see his secret package and you blew it,” Quick condemned. “Don’t tell me you weren’t a little curious. I mean, what’s he hiding anyway?”
“Not much, I think.” Lavender commented. “Just look at the size of his loincloth. I don’t think that thin piece of string would have fit me when I was that tall.”
“Right?” Quick nodded. “I swear he’s got a smaller bulge than some of Celestia’s female concubines.”
“Since when does size matter?” Grace asked. “What counts is that it fits and what he does with it.”
“Normally, yeah,” Quick agreed. “But then there’s the other extreme where it’s so small you don’t even notice.”
“Not notice?” Grace asked coyly as she propped her arm up on the table, balled her hand in a fist, and extended her pinkie finger. “We get noise complaints when I just use this.”
“You don’t just use that.” Sturdy corrected sternly. “And I said I was sorry.”
Grace rolled her eyes as she let her arm rest by her side. “My point still stands. Ponies, mares and stallions, are all sensitive down there. There’s no way you wouldn’t feel it, no matter how small he is.”
“Hold on a sec,” Quick held her hand out as her eager expression betrayed the idea forming in her head. “How do we know it’s small all the time?” She paused for suspense. “We’ve been speculating about what he’s like with the assumption that it’s all normal down there, like with a sheath an all. What if, while erect, he becomes a whole lot bigger?”
“Bigger?” Moonlight repeated. “No stallion or colt I’ve ever seen got that much bigger, but I guess Quick’s right that we shouldn’t be applying the same standards to a different species.” She then became aware that all eyes were once more upon her, eager to hear her verdict. Apparently I’ve been designated the unofficial expert on human anatomy, making mine the most trusted opinion, even if I don’t know much more than the rest of them. “I suppose it’s possible, but I find it unlikely.”
“Why’s that?” Grace asked.
“It’s hard to say,” Moonlight admitted. “But from what I’ve seen about him, I don’t think his body is as… I want to say ‘elastic’ as ours.”
“How do you mean?” Quick asked.
“Just the way I’ve seen him move. His body seems so much more rigid than that of a pony. There’s no bounce or stretchiness.” Moonlight paused, struggling to find the right words to convey what she meant. “It’s like when we went to Ponyville and that…” her voice became notably more irate, “mint unicorn tackled him. If he were pony, he would have bounced more when… that scatter-brained tramp assaulted him. Also, when she was sitting on top of him, her weight compared to his should have made him flatten out more. But none of that happened. It’s like his bones are made of rock or something.”
“If I’m getting this right, it sounds like he’s made of rock while we’re made of metal.” Sturdy commented. “My sister’s a smith and she tried explaining it to me. Metal can bend under pressure, while rock just breaks.”
Moonlight flinched at the mention of ‘break’, but she couldn’t deny the analogy. “I’d say that’s a fair comparison.”
“Well no wonder he needs a body guard, then.” Quick chimed in. “Strength that doesn’t even compare to a unicorn’s and as brittle as stone. One good hit and he’s probably…” she hesitated when she noticed Moonlight squirming uncomfortably as her mind raced with all manner of unpleasant scenarios. “That is to say, no wonder you were assigned to him since you do such a good job of keeping him safe.” She insisted through a forced smile.
“Agreed.” Lavender added. “Little guy hasn’t broken yet, and it’s all thanks to you.”
Sturdy just nodded in agreement.
Moonlight looked around and gave them all appreciative smiles for attempting to console her. Then she noticed Grace and hesitated. I already brought up Ponyville. There’s no way she’s going to let that failure slide without some kind of remark. The orange mare braced herself for the worst.
“He manages to walk around with a smile on his face,” Grace commented flatly. “You could be doing worse.”
Wow. Moonlight smiled gratefully, only to internally chide herself for thinking so ill of Grace. She might be a little envious of my assignment, but that doesn’t mean we’re not friends. Grace would never...
“You’d never guess how many times he’s been assaulted since coming to work for the castle.” Grace added flatly.
I hope your toothbrush decides to go for a swim after you forget to flush.
“Not to get us back on track or anything,” Lavender chimed in. “But does he have a sheath? Surely you had to see at least that much.”
Moonlight grimaced as she strained to recall. “I don’t exactly remember, but I don’t think so.” The other ponies flinched at her suggestion.
“No sheath?” Lavender asked, squirming in discomfort. “As in, it got torn off? How terrible.”
Sturdy shuddered.
“I don’t think so,” Moonlight insisted in a bid to calm their discomfort, though she was starting to worried as well. Losing his sheath, however it happened, would explain his shyness about showing it off. “I can’t say for certain, but I don’t think he ever had one.”
“Well you should probably ask then.” Quick insisted. “Talon was sharing him around with her friends to build his confidence, right? Maybe this is why he’s having problems to begin with.”
“Do griffons have sheathes?” Grace asked. “I’ve never seen a male griffon before. Maybe, since they’re both omnivores, it’s normal for them not to have sheathes?”
“Does that even make sense?” Sturdy inquired, to which Grace could only shrug.
“So…” Lavender resumed. “Does it just hang out there all the time, out in the open?”
“Sounds to me like a certain somepony needs to pony up and just ask,” Quick suggested to a round of agreements from the others.
“What?” Moonlight squeaked. “Why do I have to ask him? If you’re so curious, why don’t you do it?”
“You’re his friend,” Lavender countered. “You said it’s his culture, so it might sound weird coming from somepony he doesn’t trust.”
Damn it! I am his friend and he probably would trust me over them. So why does asking about a guy’s penis feel so awkward? “Oh. So that’s how it is.” Moonlight grumbled indignantly. “You’re just going to throw me under the carriage to satisfy your curiosity; is that it?”
“Basically,” Lavender nodded.
“Pretty much,” Quick answered with a chipper smile.
“Sorry,” Grace shrugged sympathetically.
“Try not to take it personally,” Sturdy offered.
“Would it make you feel better if we offered to be there when he finally shows it to you?” Quick inquired with cautious optimism.
Moonlight glared daggers at the other unicorn. “I’m quite certain that would only make things worse.”
“Oh well,” Quick shrugged. “Can’t blame a mare for trying.”
“I can try,” Moonlight muttered.
“What?”
“What?” Moonlight repeated innocently.
“You say something?” Quick asked suspiciously.
“Oh, would you look at that,” Moonlight announced as she directed their attention up at the clock. “We’re almost late for the start of our shifts.”
It was more than just a clever diversion, as the others immediately bolted from the table and carried their trays to the disposal area. They said quick goodbyes at the door and went their separate ways. And as Moonlight approached the door to Luna’s chambers, hoping they hadn’t gotten up early and left without her, she was also left wondering how to breach the subject her friends had obligated her to.
Adjusting to life with Talon as a roommate was proving to be quite the experience. In the short time they’d been together, she’d already become even more clingy of Thomas, invading his personal bubble and letting her claws wander much more than usual. She especially enjoyed keeping him on his toes with surprise butt pinches. In addition to throwing herself on him with greater frequency, she had sat hip to hip with him during Luna’s wake up ritual. Luna used her hand on Talon while Thomas, at first, tried to block the griffon’s view of his groin in the Princess’ mouth, but eventually let her look as long as she wanted.
After that Talon had further intruded on the time that had once been reserved strictly for him and Luna by insisting they share the bathroom as well. Worse, in an oddly relaxing way, was just how accepting the Princess of the Night was about all this. She even seemed to enjoy the way they all fought for space in front of the mirror to brush their teeth and beak. Thomas had finished the quickest and decided to watch Luna and Talon take the extra time to file and brush their respective horns and wings. It was all strangely relaxing to watch these two powerful creatures of myth tend to themselves as casually as any mundane human, though mundane was the last word this human would ever use to describe these two. At least they gave each other privacy when it came time to use the toilet. And all of this before they even left for the dining hall.
At breakfast, the fact that the griffon was now sitting on the other side of the table made no difference to Celestia’s remaining concubines, save for the occasional teasing about turning to the dark side. Thomas suppressed his laughter and promised to explain it later. They laughed and conversed the same as they always did. The only major difference was that now Talon was much less tolerant of Thomas’ silence, constantly trying to drag him in to whatever conversation she thought he could contribute to, which he appreciated.
Seeing as it was Sunday, with no royal appointments to meet, Talon suggested that they don their disguises again and have another night on the town. She argued that, now that she was stabled with them, they needed a proper first date before settling down to herd life. Thomas agreed only after he made them both promise not to turn him into a mare again, which they accepted. Thomas was disguised as a stallion again and Luna was the same blue unicorn as before. Even Talon thought it would be fun to be a pink Pegasus for the night. With Swift Scabbard and Moonlight having the day off, Luna and her harem were escorted by two other guards that Thomas recognized but couldn’t remember the names of.
“Hey, smarty-corn!” Talon called as she saw Moonlight exit chow hall, wearing nothing but a sports bra.
Moonlight glared back at the pink Pegasus before it donned on her. “Talon?”
“Nope,” the pegasus shook her head with a grin. “Tonight I’m Sweet Buns. I’m going on a date with my herd-mates Blue Sapphire and Moon Lover.”
“Out?” Moonlight was taken aback by the word. “You’re going out? You can’t go out.”
“Oh?” Luna tilted her head. “And why would that be?”
“I’m Sir Thomas’ body guard. He can’t go out without me.”
“I’m certain Hard Edge and Feather Sharp will do just fine,” Luna gestured to the guards behind her.
“But they’re not herrrr,” Talon purred as she closed the distance with Moonlight before turning back to Luna. “A guard’s gotta guard, ya know. She’s not gonna feel comfortably letting anypony but her look out for the little chimp.”
“Really now?” Luna asked with intrigue as she brought her free hand to tap her cheek. “This is a most distressing turn of events. How would you recommend remedying this dire situation, Lover?” she asked playfully.
Thomas gulped as he felt the weight of all eyes fall upon him. “I, um.”
“Use your words, chimp. That’s the mouth’s secondary purpose after all.”
“Secondary?” Thomas asked. His question was met with a sly smirk and griffon eyebrows bouncing suggestively. Ignoring the innuendo, along with his increasing fascination with Talon’s beak and how it was able to contort into so many shapes, Thomas resumed focusing on the question until an answer came. He recognized Luna’s playful tone, and from there it wasn’t hard to figure out what his Princess was asking for. “If it’s her day off, and she doesn’t have anything better to do…”
“Yeeeeees,” Talon nodded, motioning for him to continue.
“I guess, if she wants to, she could come with us.”
“You guess?” Luna frowned, tugging his arm slightly.
“Moonlight,” Thomas said as clearly as possible. “Would you like to accompany us on our…”
“Yes!” Moonlight shouted with a squeak, followed by a several coughs to clear her throat. “I mean, I would be honored to accompany you and your, ahem, herd on your outing.”
Sensing his confusion, Luna pulled Thomas down a bit to whisper in his ear. “Usually it’s the mares who ask out the stallions,” she shot Moonlight a quick grin. “I imagine she feels awfully special being asked by such an adorable stallion as yourself.”
Damn it, that’s right. Roles are reversed here. Any human guy would naturally get flustered if a girl asked him out. I know I sure as hell was… and still am. But… that’s not what this is. I asked a friend to hang out with other friends, didn’t I? I mean, it’s not like… The pieces began to fall into place in Thomas’ head. Oh crap.
It was then that Thomas realized that Luna wasn’t whispering very softly. Most likely this was the cause of Moonlight’s deepening blush. She opened her mouth to say something, but her head was promptly locked in the griffon’s pegasus’ arm. The mare’s eyes went wide when she saw Talon beaming down at her with the pride of having just won a prize.
As he watched the two wrestle and mutter obscenities at one another, Thomas leaned against Luna and whispered in what he hoped was a soft enough tone. “What you said back there, about the asking?”
“Yes,” Luna nodded. “What about it?”
“Back there, did I…”
“Did you what?” Luna asked bemusedly.
Thomas struggled to think of just the right way to phrase this. “Did I just ask a mare out on a date with my herd?”
Luna looked over to Moonlight and then back to him with a grin. “I do believe you did.” Luna frowned again when she saw the worry in Thomas’ eyes. “Why does this bother you?”
“I just…” Thomas gritted his teeth.
“You’re frustrated at the prospect of unknowingly walking into our traditions and giving off signals you hadn’t intended?” Luna offered.
Thomas felt his heart lift as he beamed at Luna. “Exactly. I was just inviting a friend to hang out with other friends.”
“I understand,” Luna nodded. “But don’t worry. I’m certain she doesn’t mind either way.”
“What do you mean?” Thomas inquired; glancing up to see that Moonlight had jumped on Talon’s back and was endeavoring to put the Pegasus-looking griffon in a choke hold. “I don’t want to give the wrong impression.”
“Then don’t,” Luna said simply. “Let your actions speak for you. Treat Moonlight as a cherished friend and she will reciprocate.”
Thomas raised an eyebrow. “You make it sound easy.”
“It’s only complicated if you choose it to be,” Luna assured, glancing quickly over at the mare in question. Talon had turned the tables and now had the mare in a most compromising position. “I have no doubt she cares for you as much as you do for her. So long as you make that known, all will be well.”
Thomas chuckled. “Thank you, love Yoda.”
“What’s a Yoda?”
“Tell ya later.”
A few meager protests later and the secret royal entourage departed the castle.
“Something the matter?” Luna inquired as she walked along side Thomas, his stallion arm held tightly in her own while Talon clung possessively to Moonlight as they walked beside them.
“Part of it is this body,” Thomas smirked. “Still not quite used to this body. But it’s also the sun. Sometimes it still feels weird to go out and not have the sun shining down on me.”
“But the two of you had been reacquainted just the other day,” Moonlight offered with an encouraging smile.
“Which felt weird,” he retorted. “And knowing that the sun felt weird makes it even weirder. Does that make sense?” Thomas asked.
“You were born into the sun,” Luna hummed, tightening her grip around her stallion’s arm. “But you have converted to the moon. No doubt you feel strange due to your conflicting allegiances.”
Something about Luna’s words bothered Thomas. “The sun’s nice and warm, but it’s distant,” he explained, grabbing hold of one of her hands. “I’ve got something better.”
“Oh?” Luna raised an eyebrow. “What could you possess that could possibly compare to the majesty of the sun?”
“Please don’t do that,” Thomas sighed.
“Do what?”
“You always look so sad when you talk about the sun like that,” Thomas explained, brushing a bit of the unicorn’s mane out of her eyes. “Please don’t put yourself down like that. You’re much prettier when you’re happy.”
Luna averted her gaze and simply rested her head on her stallion’s shoulder. She felt a light pressure behind her eyes. It would take a lot more than this to make her cry, but it was still so very touching. These were the things a stallion was supposed to say to his mare, but Thomas wasn’t saying them out of any sense of obligation or because he was trying to get something. He just wanted her to smile. “Charmer,” she quipped.
“I try,” Thomas shrugged, smiling as he reflected on just how easy such things were to say to others.
“Still didn’t answer the question,” Talon reminded them. “What do you have that’s as hot as the sun?”
Thomas blushed through his illusion. Luna was now meeting his gaze, her eyes demanding he answer. Even Moonlight seemed to be leering at him from the corner of her eye. He sighed, taking a strange bit of solace in knowing that there was no escape. “I’ve got this little spot in the castle,” Thomas answered proudly.
“A spot in the castle?” Luna inquired.
“It’s in a room on one of the upper floors in the Lunar Wing. Perhaps you’ve seen it.”
“Perhaps we have,” Luna smiled playfully. “Do describe this spot of yours.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Thomas shook his head. “If I used details that did the spot justice, I’d worry the hotness would set the entire block on fire.”
“Really chimp?” Talon shook her head disapprovingly. “That has got to be one of the cheesiest lines I’ve ever heard.”
“Oh hush, you,” Luna snapped her tail and struck Talon’s rump right where the bite marks were healing. The Pegasus-looking griffon winced and Moonlight couldn’t help but chuckle at her discomfort. “We, er, I found it quite sweet. Thank you, dearest Lover.”
“You’re welcome, my lovely Sapphire,” Thomas said as posh as could. The words felt natural as they flowed forth and filled him with great warmth. Even if she didn’t look like herself, Luna’s words and warmth were still familiar and put him at ease. Staring down at her unicorn persona, Thomas sighed contentedly as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
We’re married. Thomas thought as he recounted last night’s dream. I’m married to Princess Luna and we’ve been married for a while now. No big commotion or expensive wedding. The Princess and co-ruler of all Equestria simply chose me because she wanted me and now I’m hers. She’s mine too. He marveled, gently stroking the back of her hand with his fingers.
The group explored the city with no clear destination in mind. Someone would make a suggestion and the group would follow suit. Seeing as this was all incredibly similar to their previous outings, Thomas discretely asked Luna if Talon was supposed to be doing anything special on this pretend first date, but Luna assured him all was well. Talon was simply having fun and the more serious matters could wait for later. Thomas briefly considered arguing, but then realized there really wasn’t anything he’d rather be doing than to hang out with his mare and two best friends. Besides, what else would a date involve if not activities that everyone enjoyed?
Granted they should probably be doing more to get to know one another, but after hanging out so much, it seemed like there wasn’t much left to learn. Even the initial worry about Moonlight acting awkwardly had faded from his mind as the unicorn behaved the same as she ever did, apparently, hopefully understanding what he meant earlier. In fact, the more he thought about it, seriously thought about it, the more he felt like this date served no other purpose than to keep hanging out with the people he cared about most in the world, which was just fine. When they arrived at a restaurant for lunch, they had a swift bout of musical chairs leaving Thomas with Talon and Moonlight with the disguised Luna.
“Moonlight,” Luna addressed the off-duty guard, giggling cutely when she stood at attention. “How are you taking to the knowledge of your new position?”
Moonlight pursed her lips together as she considered how best to answer. “I think it might be a bit too early to say. I haven’t even told my family,” she sighed. “I can’t figure out if it’s worth the risk to do so in person just to see all their reactions.”
“All of your family resides in Canterlot?” Luna inquired.
“Not all of them, no,” Moonlight denied. “Many of my brothers and sisters have moved elsewhere to pursue their own lives. Last time I checked, it was just me, my parents, and my two youngest brothers still in the city.”
Luna nodded curiously and inquired more about Moonlight’s family, only to stop at the mention of one of her mothers being a baker. “What sort of things does she bake?”
“Cakes, mostly,” Moonlight said with a warm smile. “She’d always pull out one of her secret recipes for special occasions. I miss that,” she trailed off.
“What about you, chimp?” Talon pressed.
Thomas eyed the pink Pegasus mare warily. She was smaller than Talon, but her eyes still held that threatening predatory look. “What about me, what?”
“You adjusting?”
Thomas sighed and let himself relax against Talon’s side, inadvertently causing her feathers to puff out a bit. “I guess my answer is the same. Still too early to say, but so far it’s pretty nice,” he smiled over at Luna, which she returned appreciatively before returning her attention to Moonlight, much to his confusion.
“You’re welcome, by the way,” Talon offered smugly. “I hope you appreciate all the trouble I’m going through just to be your practice herd-mate.”
Thomas leered back at the Pegasus. “Oh yeah,” he said dryly. “I’ll bet it’s a real chore to go out on the town with your friends like you usually do, not to mention all you did last night.”
Talon beamed back him as she struggled to find a retort. “You bit me on the butt!”
“You what?” Moonlight blurted.
“I did not.”
“Seriously?” Talon said in disbelief as she pushed him back and propped herself up to give a better view of her rump. She pointed, but the indentations were still fairly clear to see. “It’s like you thought my butt was covered in chocolate cake or something.”
“Dearest Lover has shown a certain affinity for plots,” Luna commented nonchalantly.
Moonlight flushed heavily, unable to take her eyes off the marks on Talon’s butt.
Thomas soon recovered from his stunned silence. “I don’t remember anything like that. How do you know that was even me?” he demanded with a hint of desperation.
Talon’s Pegasus muzzle smirked. “See these indentions?” she pointed back at the marks. “They were made by something with carnivore teeth. You can also tell by the spacing just how big the mouth was. Ya might as well have thrown in your signature for good measure.”
Thomas blushed through his illusion, too stunned to speak.
“You really don’t remember, do you?” Talon asked with sincere sounding concern as she set her rump back down. “Damn. The buck brain must be worse than I thought. That or you should probably lay off the cider for a while.”
“I choose the latter,” Thomas volunteered. “Never cared for alcohol back home and it only causes problems here.”
“So biting my butt is a problem, is it?” Talon asked with an offense that Thomas couldn’t tell if it was serious or not.
“I… yes?”
Thankfully the waiter had just arrived with their orders. Food became the new focus of the group until the awkwardness of the moment dissipated. Luna resumed pressing Moonlight for information on her mother’s cooking, along with any knowledge the guard might have had. Talon changed the subject to describing what it was like to be in a harem. When he didn’t understand the comparison to be like any other herd, she delved into describing that instead.
One detail which caught him by surprise was that most in Celestia’s harem had continued in their careers before meeting her, even if only to a lesser degree. They had superiors, subordinates, deadlines, and all the other things any other working pony would have. In fact, their status as concubines was kept in relative levels of secrecy, depending what the pony in question felt most comfortable with. In some cases, their visits to the castle were like a part time job, though secret affair might have been more fitting. Because there were so many of them, days off were incredibly flexible. Talon was actually in the minority of those who were full time concubines, but she sometimes volunteered on her off-duty hours to train the recruits. The point the Pegasus-looking griffon had been leading up to was that Thomas should consider getting a part time job.
“You’re being serious,” Thomas deadpanned.
“Until the harem grows, you’re not going to have that much to manage. You should really consider finding something else to occupy your time so ya don’t end up lazing around.”
“You’re pretty good at catching errors in writing,” Moonlight interjected. “My stories have never read so smoothly. Perhaps you could be a scribe’s assistant or something.”
“Most certainly,” Luna agreed, turning to face him across the table. “A secondary occupation, perhaps something in or around the castle, could be most invigorating.”
Thomas eyed the blue unicorn suspiciously. “No offense, but how would you know that?”
Luna averted her gaze. “Indulging in courtship rituals, how ever pleasing, is not the only use we have for the disguise spell. We have indulged in… a number of personas.”
The three surrounding ponies leaned in with clear intrigue.
“At the long ago suggestion from sister, we have, from time to time, forged resumes for the purpose of infiltrating the castle staff to gain a better understanding of the common pony. However, we have not had the time for this particular indulgence since our return.”
“Indulgence?” Talon raised an eyebrow. “Interesting choice of words.”
“Yeah,” Thomas furrowed his brow in suspicion. He wanted to know, but mostly he was enjoying giving Luna a taste of her own medicine by making her squirm at the center of attention. At meeting her eyes, Thomas instantly knew that Luna had somehow interpreted his intent and that she, with a long and deliberate blink, planned to pay him back for his efforts; leaving the pony-looking human wondering if he should be afraid, excited, or both.
Straightening her posture and looking very regal, Luna answered. “We… have always had a fondness for… cooking.”
“I sense a story,” Talon said suggestively.
After a bit more coaxing, Luna recounted how she had applied for positions in the kitchens of their old castle. She’d always been so fascinated with cooking, of combining art and science to create a great treasure to be enjoyed by others, loved ones especially. However, each time she was given the opportunity to make something, she botched it. Her personas were often fired, somewhat ironically, after they had set fires to the kitchens.
Thomas reached out and took her hand consolingly, occasionally staring daggers at the pink Pegasus beside him who was struggling not to laugh.
“It’s alright,” Luna smiled appreciatively. “Tis important for everypony to know their weaknesses. This holds especially true for those in our position.”
“Did you, ya know,” Thomas hesitated, fearing how his words might be interpreted, “take lessons?”
“We had considered, but never found the time,” Luna sighed in disappointment. “In days long gone by, we would have relished the chance to attend the finest culinary school in the land, but the demands of court would never allow it.” With another sigh, Luna became very uncomfortable as the surrounding ponies eyed her in disbelief. “What?”
“Luna,” Thomas smiled gently. “You don’t have to go to some fancy school to learn how to cook.”
Luna blinked at him. “What?”
“You don’t need a fancy school,” Thomas explained. “You could do like you did with the tutor and just schedule an hour or two every other day.”
Luna blinked again. “What?”
“My mother never went to school,” Moonlight cut in. “She learned how to cook from her mother and two of my siblings learned from her. They were inspired by her just as I was inspired by my other mother to become a guard. I went to schooling, but I was already pretty good thanks to everything she taught me.” She gestured casually. “You can also buy cook books pretty cheaply. It’d surprise me if the library at the castle didn’t have a few already.”
Luna remained still a moment longer, and then blinked once more. “What?”
“If your forged resumes said you went to school,” Talon thought out loud, “after so many screw ups, the castle chefs probably figured out that the resumes were forged and sent you packing without a second thought.” She leaned back and folded her arms. “You never tried for an entry position or anything?”
When the waiter arrived to give them the bill, Luna swiped Thomas’ bit bag and threw the whole thing at the poor stallion, knocking him down, before she beckoned them all to accompany her with deadly seriousness. They followed silently as she hailed a carriage. Thomas tried to inquire what was bothering her, understandably worried, but she paid him no mind. She didn’t even wait for the incognito guards to board before demanding the driver make for the castle at top speed, throwing in a few extra bits if he got there in less than ten minutes.
Save for Luna, the carriage’s three other occupants were thrown about their little compartment by the driver’s reckless racing. How exactly does one drive a common carriage upside down anyway, assuming that’s what happened? Somehow, each time they screeched to a halt at a stop sign or red light, Thomas had found himself in a rather… compromising position. The first involved him grabbing hold of Talon’s waist while his pelvis was pressed against her backside. The second saw him on top of Moonlight in a 69 position; as they lay there for an extended period of time, too embarrassed to move, the heat coming off her genitals left a strangely vanilla taste in his mouth. And the third time left him on the carriage floor with Talon sitting on his face, Moonlight sitting on his groin, and both females locked in each other’s arms with their lips separated by a mere inch of distance.
Meanwhile, Luna sat perfectly still with legs crossed and arms folded across her chest. Her face was adorned with the look of absolute focus. When the carriage finally arrived at the castle, Luna marched out at a brisk pace, lighting her horn as the disguises melted away. The others, having developed a newfound sympathy for shaken ice, crawled out as fast as their bruised bodies would let them. The driver, showing no compassion, gently reminded them of what he was promised. Talon managed to pull herself up and toss the bag of bits into his lap. With a notably higher pitched voice, he thanked them for their service and drove off.
“I-is that w-what,” Moonlight heaved, “What you mean by b-buck brain?”
Talon gave a week nod. “A romp with an alicorn… basically.”
At the griffon’s confirmation, Moonlight groaned at being reminded of her failure to check out Thomas’ penis for her friends.
Chapter 50: Thomas Saves Canterlot by Telling Princess Luna to Get in the Kitchen and Make Him a Sammich
Recognizing them, the castle guards quickly moved to aid the worn and weary travelers inside. Talon and Moonlight required two ponies each to carry them in while Thomas only needed one. And just his luck, he got a mare who kept sniffing at him. At Talon’s request they were brought to Luna’s quarters where the three unceremoniously flopped onto the bed, though Thomas made sure to put a bit more distance between himself and the females.
*Knock Knock*
“Ugh,” Talon groaned, pulling herself up to better meet who ever would knock on Princess Luna’s door. “Who is it?”
The door creaked open and a long white horn peaked through, followed shortly by the white snout, pink hair, and the golden eyes of Princess Celestia. “May I come in?” She asked tentatively.
Talon fell back onto the bed with a huff while Moonlight shot up at attention. Thomas tried to pull himself up, but his body was still too sore.
Celestia eyed the three carefully as she entered the room and let the door close behind her, nostrils flaring every once in a while. “You don’t smell like you’ve been rutting. Care to explain what happened to put you all in such a state?”
“Canterlot carriages,” Talon huffed. “Never again.”
Thomas groaned in agreement.
“Ah,” Celestia nodded sympathetically. “Might this have something to do with Lulu stealing herself to the library with Lady Attentive Eye, whom she snatched from her bed rather abruptly?”
Thomas squinted up at Celestia. “How long have we been lying here?”
“Not that long,” Celestia sighed. “Did something happen on your outing?”
The two herd-mates and guard exchanged nervous glances before Thomas elected to answer. “We told Luna she didn’t need to go to school to learn how to cook.”
Celestia tilted her head as her eyes widened. “Lulu… is cooking?”
“Sounds like she’s just doing some reading for now,” Talon offered. “Don’t know how many pies she can make in library.”
Celestia gulped slowly. “I… need to go warn the kitchens.”
“Wait,” Thomas called before Celestia could depart. “Why do you need to warn them?”
Celestia eyed the human sternly, but he impressed her by not backing down as most ponies did. “Did she tell you about her previous attempts at cooking?”
Thomas nodded. “She said the cooks kicked her out after she started a few fires.”
“Forty two,” Celestia said flatly. “That is not the number of fires she started. That is the number of fires she started that threatened to burn down our old castle. The first of which happened when she tried boiling water. Water!”
Thomas flinched. “You can’t be serious.”
“Deadly serious,” Celestia answered with a low growl. “We’ll have to reposition the guard around the kitchens, confiscate heating materials around the castle, perhaps the chefs will need to be armed and…”
“Hold on,” Thomas jumped off the bed and walked up to Celestia. “Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too far? It sounds like you’re planning for war.”
“I realize this must be upsetting for you,” Celestia said softly. “But I can assure you that I act only in the best interests of not only Equestria, but my sister as well.” Thomas looked back at her in confusion, she continued. “There are those who have not yet… forgiven my sister for the sins of Nightmare Moon. If she were to cause an incident, I fear it may cause ponies to turn on her and lead to the same downward spiral that originally gave rise to the Nightmare.”
Thomas stood fast before Celestia’s words. She spoke with the authority of a true ruler and the wisdom of centuries. How could he argue with anything she said? He turned his head to the sound of movement and saw Talon sliding off the bed, her face betraying no emotion as she watched him carefully. She was waiting for his response, as was Celestia. Under such pressure, the human could only offer one response.
“What if I help her?”
Celestia pulled back in surprise. “What did you say?”
“What if I helped her, like an assistant chef or something?” Thomas offered again. “I’m not much of a cook, but it’s not too hard to follow a recipe in a book.”
“You did hear me when I said she set the castle on fire while trying to boil water, right?”
Thomas gave a firm nod. “Then I guess she’ll just have to be careful.”
Celestia stared soberly down at the smaller human. She could tell he was fighting with all his might to stay standing under her glare. It would not be difficult for her to reduce him to a whimpering mess, as she had occasionally done to ponies too arrogant to get out of her way, but that didn’t apply here. Here was a creature, a stallion, a man, who was standing up to a deity for the sake of the mare he cared for. The Princess of the Sun had no choice but to give the human an approving smile and step aside, clearing his path to the door.
Surprised by Celestia giving no further argument, Thomas hesitated a moment before leaving the room. Moonlight and Talon followed shortly after, but kept a healthy distance. They’d be there to support him, and possibly evacuate him if things got hairy, but even they could tell that this was something he needed to do for himself.
The trek to the library was brisk and short. When they arrived, there was a contingent of guards already waiting outside and facing the door. The whole thing looked like a hostage situation, which, Thomas just realized, is what they probably thought Attentive Eye was.
“Sorry, sir,” a guard held out his hand to block Thomas. “There’s a… situation unfolding. You’d best stay back for your own protection.”
Thomas peeked over his shoulder to find Talon and Moonlight watching him expectantly. Turning back to the guard, Thomas put on his best serious face. “As Princess Luna’s Senior Concubine, Princess Celestia has asked me to act as negotiator on this matter.”
“I can confirm his orders,” Moonlight chimed in.
“Luna trusts me, so I’ve got the best chance of talking her out of anything… dangerous."
The guard gazed suspiciously between the unicorn and the human, but eventually accepted and stepped aside, letting the odd trio enter the library.
The inside of the library was as quiet as any other time he’d entered it. Few ponies had need of the library at night, meaning it was a good place for Thomas to get some peace and quiet. The assistant librarian at the front counter, Book Mark, a beige mare wearing nothing but a pink bow-tie, propped her head up on her hands as she looked up unenthusiastically at the intruders on her boredom.
“Hello,” Book Mark greeted with nasally disinterest. “Welcome to the Royal Canterlot Library. What can I do for you?”
“Have you seen Princess Luna?” Thomas inquired.
“Who?”
Thomas went slack jawed at the question. It was like the cogs in his brain had been temporarily jammed.
“Who?” Moonlight repeated, apparently in only slightly less dumbfounded than the human. “Did you seriously just ask who Luna, Princess and co-ruler of Equestria, is?”
“Don’t pay much mind to politics.” Book Mark’s nasally voice was really beginning to grate some nerves.
“The tall dark alicorn?” Talon offered hopefully.
“Oh her,” Book Mark finally realized and motioned to her right. “She asked for the books we had on cooking. Three rows down and four right.”
“Thanks,” Thomas nodded as he led the way past the assistant librarian.
“Any time, sir.”
They found the section on books quickly enough, which, conveniently enough, was right next to a set of tables. There Luna sat with her nose buried in a book and surrounded by several precariously stacked towers of books. Attentive Eye set her own book down and gestured towards the Princess, her eyes pleading for them to do something. Luna hadn’t even noticed them yet.
Nodding to Moonlight and Talon to confirm that they had his back if this went south, Thomas took a calming breath and put on his best smile. “Hey, Luna.”
“Hmm,” was Luna’s only response.
Thomas’ smile faded as he realized this might not be so easy. He walked up to her table and took a seat beside her. “Reading about cooking?”
“Nay,” Luna said into the book. “We are studying how to cook, but it is indeed a most intriguing read. How we have never come across such books before truly boggles the mind.”
“Yeah,” Thomas nodded nervously. “About that. Thing is, I just had a talk with Celestia.”
“About?” Luna asked the book.
“Well,” he hesitated, “about the fires that nearly burned down the…”
“Oh, she would go there!” Luna cut Thomas off with a slam of her book against the table, causing the others to jump. “What did all knowing Celestia say this time, hmm? Did our cooking somehow cause some great cataclysm that threatened to destroy all Equestria?”
Thomas furrowed his brow suspiciously. “Did it?”
Luna finally turned to face the human. “Not the point. Besides, that only happened the once,” she rationalized.
“Um, Celestia just mentioned the fires that threatened your old castle.”
“Ha!” Luna laughed indignantly. “Clearly thou hath fallen prey to sister’s gross exaggerations. Those fires barely spread past their respective wings in the old castle.” She folded her arms across her chest with a huff, looking very much like a pouting child.
Thomas surmised that she was preparing to be lectured and talked down to. No doubt that was how Celestia had addressed this in the past. Something about even thinking of her sister in this manner somehow brought out Luna’s inner child, or filly as the case may be. A lecture was the last thing she needed right now. Remembering how her feelings of loneliness and neglect had once driven her over the edge, Thomas realized that what she’d always needed was someone in her corner. It didn’t make sense why her previous lovers never helped her in this regard, but they weren’t here now. Now, there was only Thomas to try his own method. The human leaned against the alicorn and rested his head on her shoulder. He felt her relax at his touch as she looked down at him.
“Thomas?” Luna asked.
He reached out and took her hand in his own as he met her eyes. “You think you could make me a sammich?”
Luna’s entire body went rigid. “N-n-nopony has ever asked that o-of us.”
“Then I guess I’m on a roll for firsts,” Thomas smiled. “First human in Equestria, first concubine you had since coming back, and now the first one to ask you for a sandwich. Ain’t I lucky?”
Luna blinked repeatedly down at Thomas. Her lower lip trembled as her eyes began to glisten. She was on the verge of tears until Thomas gave her hand a firm squeeze.
“Hey now,” Thomas cooed, tightening his grip. “Don’t be like that. How about we head to the kitchen and I make you one too?”
“N-now?” Luna hesitated as she turned back to her books. “B-but I haven’t studied enough yet.”
“Hey there,” Thomas shook her hand reassuringly. “If Twilight Sparkle could vanquish an ursa minor without getting past the first chapter, I’m pretty sure the wise and benevolent Princess Luna can pull off a sandwich.”
Luna’s anxiety quickly faded as she leaned down and gave the human a kiss on the forehead. “I-if you insist.”
Thomas faced Talon and tilted his head in the direction of the door. She took his meaning and quickly departed. Once she was gone, Thomas stood from his seat and offered to help Luna up, which she accepted appreciatively. Moonlight assumed her formal position on step to Thomas’ left and three steps back. Although she didn’t fully understand what was going on, Attentive Eye stood and took her place to Luna’s left. The makeshift royal entourage made to depart the library.
“Have a *yawn* nice evening,” Book Mark sleepily waved them off.
When the entourage exited the library, all the guards that had garrisoned around the door had departed, much to Thomas’ approval. Luna didn’t need to see the steps Celestia had taken in preparation for some terrible disaster, and Talon had done a good job of removing all traces. Now the griffon just needed to run ahead and convince Celestia, and the guards she surely had around the kitchens, to let them pass. Wanting to give her as much time as possible, Thomas lead the way to the kitchens as slowly as he felt would not be suspicious.
“Dearest Thomas. Might there be a reason you are walking so slowly?”
Well that lasted real fucking long. “Are we going slow? I just thought we were walking at a comfortable pace. Why do you ask?”
Luna’s eyebrow rose. She clearly suspected something, but while she didn’t press the issue, she did not remain silent. “Dearest Thomas.”
“Yes, Luna?”
“While Tia was obviously exaggerating in her recounting of the past.”
“Obviously,” Thomas nodded along, but could tell by the tone of her voice that the truth was a lot closer than she was willing to admit.
“It does seem as though misfortune befalls us rather frequently when we endeavor in the culinary arts.”
“I’ve gotten that much, yes. Why?”
“Are… are you certain you’re entirely comfortable beside us while we cook?”
Thomas did not answer right away as he stared into Luna’s eyes. She was genuinely worried about something happening, just as Celestia had been. She’d been rather gung-ho earlier, but was now clearly having second thoughts as the notion of putting her human in danger became an increasingly apparent reality. “Remember when I told you I worked in a deli?”
“We do,” Luna nodded.
“I basically spent eight hours a day slapping pieces of meat and veggies onto bread and serving it up to people like I’d just done something worthwhile. It actually kinda made me laugh each time I got a compliment for making a custom order. People seemed genuinely impressed by watching me do what, to me, seemed like the most boring thing in the world. In a way, I kinda took pride in my work whenever I got a compliment or even when someone picked up one of my sandwiches off the shelf. That’s what you want, isn’t it, to be appreciated for your work?”
Luna’s eyes glistened once more, but blinked the tears away before they could properly form and nodded.
“I’m no master chef, but I can read the instructions on a book. At the very least I can show you how to slap random ingredients onto bread and call it food.”
Luna’s lips quivered as she struggled to maintain her composure.
They finally arrived at the kitchens in the Lunar Wing of the castle where they were greeted by a nervous Princess Celestia wearing a forced smile, a somewhat satisfied looking Talon, and only two lunar guards standing on either side of the door.
“Lulu,” Celestia greeted with open arms as she reached out to hug her sister. “How are you doing this fine evening?”
“Sister,” Luna acknowledged sternly, returning the most minimal hug. “Interesting to see you… here… outside the kitchens… as if you’re standing guard.”
“Whaaaaaat?” Celestia gasped in faux surprise. “Me, standing guard? Oh the silly ideas you come up with.” Celestia’s smile briefly faded as she reconsidered her choice of words. “I just heard that you were cooking again. It’s been such a long time that I just, you know, thought I’d watch.”
Luna narrowed her eyes on her sister, who fidgeted under the weight of the Night Princess’ glare. “You are free to do as you wish.” She grabbed hold of Thomas’ arm and yanked him forward. “My concubine has volunteered to make sandwiches with us.”
“S-sandwiches?” Celestia asked.
“Yes. Sandwiches. Why?”
“So… no fires?”
Luna looked to Thomas who shook his head. “No fires. Dearest Thomas should know because he used to make such dishes for a living. He’s a professional,” she added proudly, exaggerating the last word.
“I…” Celestia brightened up. “I look forward to seeing what you make.”
Luna tilted her head in a nod and pulled Thomas into the kitchen. They were greeted by a chef who lead the way to an area that had been cleared especially for them. There was a refrigerator, stove, a large counter, a sink, and the walls were adorned with an assortment of knives, spoons, tongs, and other cooking instruments. The chef directed them to the cabinets above and beneath the counter which held bowls, pans, and tin cans. Then he opened the refrigerator to reveal a wide variety of foods, most of which were fruits and vegetables.
“Got any bread?” Thomas asked. Before he finished the last syllable, several assistant chefs had spawned out of the ether beside him, each baring armfuls of various kinds of bread loaves wrapped in plastic. After recovering from his surprise, Thomas looked to Luna. “What kind of bread would you like for yours?”
Luna pondered a moment. “Wheat. No! That one with the strawberry swirl,” she pointed.
Before the assistant chef could offer the Princess what she’d asked for, Thomas stepped between them and took a single loaf. He looked back at Luna. “I’ll just have white.” When no one made a move, Thomas gestured to the pony holding the white bread until Luna caught on and also took a loaf. She eyed the packaged bread carefully, holding it out away from her like it would explode any minute.
“Come on,” Thomas motioned to the counter, where a stool had already been set. Luna rushed to his side. Realizing that Luna was watching his movement carefully, Thomas figured a bit of narration would be of use. “First thing we need to do is wash our hands.” He took the lead at the sink and washed his hands. Luna, unable to help herself, came up from behind and reached out past him, smothering his head in her breasts. It was nice that she felt calm enough to tease him like this. “Next we open the bag.” slowly he undid the opening of the bag as Luna mirrored his movements. “Good,” he nodded as he removed two of the pre-sliced bread pieces. “The bags are opened and it looks like someone’s done us the favor of slicing the bread for us.”
“H-how n-nice of them,” Luna commented nervously. “S-so… w-what now?”
“Next we need to set out the ingredients; otherwise we’ll just have plain bread.”
“Of course!” Luna proclaimed with a forced laugh. “A proper sandwich is nothing without proper ingredients. Where are they?” She looked around the counter excitedly.
“We haven’t gotten them yet,” Thomas answered.
“Oh… of course we haven’t,” Luna recovered from her embarrassment quickly. “What sort of ingredients will we need, exactly?”
“That depends on what kind of sandwiches we want to make. What are you in the mood for?”
“I…” Luna’s face contorted as she pondered the question intensely.
Thomas grimaced as he watched Luna puzzle over the question. He glanced over his shoulder to spot Celestia sitting beside the door, fidgeting anxiously as she watched them both. Even the chefs had sensed her anxiety and were sneaking worried glances at him and Luna. The human was grateful that his Princess was too preoccupied with her own thoughts to notice her surroundings, but the thought of her reaction once she saw everyone watching her, just waiting for her to fail, made his stomach turn.
“Daisies,” Thomas blurted, startling Luna from her thoughts.
“D-daisies?”
“Isn’t that what you had back at that restaurant? Daisies and some other flowers.”
“Carnations and lilacs,” Luna reminded.
“Would the Princess like a daisy, carnation, and lilac sandwich?”
“She would,” Luna beamed. “And what would the… consort like?” she gestured elaborately.
Thomas smiled back, partially in appreciation for Luna’s lifted spirits, but mostly at the wicked idea forming in his head. “The Princess’ royal buck buddy would like a peanut butter and jelly.”
The kitchen resounded with snickering chefs and a tinge of pink touched Luna’s cheeks. She glanced around the room, and then leered down at Thomas. “Thou art playing a most dangerous game, little human.”
“Am I?” Thomas asked playfully. “I thought I was just telling the truth. Since when is being honest considered a game?”
Luna’s angered leer intensified until it suddenly fizzled into a grin. She nodded gratefully at Thomas for easing her nerves. “Very well. Then shall we fetch the ingredients?”
Thomas nodded and reached up to the cabinet above the counter, but it was just out of his reach, so Luna volunteered to open it for him, smirking teasingly down at him. Thomas leered at her briefly before letting out an exasperated sigh. “Could you pull those down?” He pointed at the three ceramic vases holding the flowers he desired. Luna did as he bid, then stood motionless, patiently waiting for further instruction.
“Do you remember where the peanut butter is?” Thomas asked.
Luna gave a firm nod as she crouched down to the cabinets beneath her where she remembered seeing the desired jar. As she did, Thomas couldn’t help but stare as her butt jutted out, her tail waving around excitedly. Luna leaned in deeper into the cabinet, arching her back and making her butt protrude even more, her dress conforming to its supple outline. The damn thing waved casually from side to side, hypnotizing enchanting, just begging for some sort of attention.
“Like what you see?”
Thomas was shocked from his fantasies as he tore his eyes from the magnificent royal lunar backside to fine a seductive and teasing smirk upon the enchanting royal lunar face. His surprise quickly shifted to annoyance. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Mwa?” Luna touched her finger to her chin innocently. “Is it really our fault that you have a seemingly obsessive fascination with our glorious rump?” She gave her rear a slight roll for emphasis.
“Yes. Yes it is,” Thomas deadpanned.
“Fair enough,” Luna shrugged in agreement as she stood back to her full height, only to hold her hand up high to show off her prize. “Behold, the butter of peanuts!”
Just then Thomas could have sworn he heard a familiar triumphant musical score as an opossum danced excitedly around Luna https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuJPTUlVqIo He blinked and the vision was gone, but new thoughts came to light. If this really is an alternate reality, then is there a Tiberius here?
Shaking his head free of distractions, Thomas focused his sight on the peanut butter Luna had set on the counter. “Good. And now the jelly.”
Luna sashayed over to the refrigerator, but didn’t reach out for the handle. Instead she looked over at Thomas with a shit-eating-grin. “What’s the magic word?”
Thomas groaned before forcing a smile. “May I please have some strawberry jelly?”
“That you may.” Luna opened the refrigerator and quickly extracted her target, thankfully without putting on a show this time. She set her ingredients out on the counter, eyeing them carefully before looking over at Thomas’ area. “What now?”
“Would you like any condiments?” Thomas asked. “Cheese? Mustard? I’ve seen you eat meat a couple times.”
“Some Swiss would be lovely, thank you. Also some butter. And you?”
“Nah,” Thomas dismissed as he found the desired cheese and tub of butter. “PB&J is just fine on its own.” He set out the cheese beside the vases. “Alright then. Now that we have our ingredients, what should we do next?”
Luna’s breathing hitched, clearly not expecting to be asked. “I, um, think we should, um, put the sandwich together?”
“Alright,” Thomas nodded. “And how will you get the jelly from the jar onto the bread?”
“Um… well first the jar must be opened, yes?”
“Yeah. But how will you get the jelly from the jar onto the bread?”
Luna paused in consideration. Coincidentally, one of the magical lamps just over her head flickered and brightened just as her face lit up in realization. “With a utensil!”
“That’s the way,” Thomas nodded approvingly. “Good girl. Does someone want a treat?”
Luna’s enthusiasm as she contemplated his wording and its connotations. “Funny,” she deadpanned.
“Happy to help,” Thomas agreed. “There are some smaller knives in the drawers.”
“Knives?” Celestia asked, garnering attention from the human and other alicorn. She had moved as if to stand, but under their gaze, relaxed back into her chair. “N-never mind me. Please continue,” she gestured.
Celestia’s uneasiness was apparently contagious as Luna reached out with a very shaky hand for the large knives on the wall.
“Wait,” Thomas said gently, but Luna still froze in fear. “There are some drawers right there,” he pointed. “You can get a smaller knife there, or maybe a spoon if you’re more comfortable with that.”
“O-of course,” Luna nodded with a relieved sigh. She opened the drawer and, after careful consideration, pulled out a pair of spoons, handing one to Thomas. “N-now what?”
Thomas nodded wordlessly and opened the tub of butter, motioning with his eyes for Luna to do the same with her own jars. Taking the spoon in hand, Thomas extracted a moderately sized scoop of the yellow substance while Luna did the same with the jelly. “Now just smear it out across the bread,” he instructed as he spread the butter out across the strawberry swirl bread.
With much trepidation, Luna did the same with the jelly and white bread. As the red goop spread out across its plain surface, all without spontaneously combusting, Luna smiled ecstatically at her accomplishment.
“Good,” Thomas nodded. “That’s probably enough. Now you’ll want to get another spoon for the peanut butter.”
“Why another spoon? This one has proved most adequate,” she held out the metal instrument.
“It’s a cleanliness thing,” Thomas explained. “The only place more obsessed with keeping things cleaner than the kitchens is a hospital. You never know who might be eating your food or what kind of allergies they might have, so it’s important to avoid cross contamination. Really, we should have probably been wearing gloves this whole time. In fact…” before Thomas could continue, a wooden bowl seemed to materialize out of nowhere just outside his peripheral vision. He looked around quickly, but none of the chefs seemed to have moved. “In fact, we’ll use this bowl to hold our dirty dishes. It’ll save effort on cleaning later.”
“I see,” Luna nodded acceptingly as she set the dirty spoon in the bowl and reached out for a replacement. “Is this the rule for all kitchens?”
“It probably should be,” Thomas mused as he plucked one of the carnations from the vase. “That’s how it goes with professional kitchens, but households tend to be less informal. There you know exactly who’s going to be eating what, so you don’t have to be so cautious.”
“Interesting,” Luna nodded in contemplation as she opened the jar to the peanut butter and repeated her actions upon the bare piece of bread, all under Thomas’ careful watch. She glanced briefly at the human who turned back to his own work in embarrassment. However, her gaze lingered as she flickered her eyelids dreamily. There was simply no ignoring how much fun she was having right now. Not only was she finally indulging in her lifelong dream, all without starting any fires, but she was doing so under the watch of a lover.
Unlike Celestia, who would always insist on taking over the moment it looked like she was having any trouble, Thomas had kept a respectful distance. He instructed and lead by example, but had insisted on her doing all her own work. Luna could not fault Celestia for letting her big sister impulses take hold, but it always hurt a little when she was robbed of the opportunity to be more independent. Even her past lovers, upon hearing the stories, were wary around her in the kitchen. However, after hearing those same stories, Thomas looked upon her no differently than he ever did. They were interacting exactly the same as they had always done.
There was only one real thing that made this scenario different from any other. As teacher, Thomas had taken the more dominant role with how he told her what to do. None of her past lovers would ever doubt Luna’s desire to be dominant in the relationship, especially in bed. But at the same time, to have another turn the tables and make her the sub for once, especially one so small and usually meek as Thomas, was an undeniable turn on. This matter would be explored later. Until then…
“The informality comes from familiarity,” Luna mused romantically. “Just as a pony might erect barriers and facades while interacting in public, but be much more open with friends and family members.”
“I don’t think it would take too much work to make that into a nice poem,” Thomas commented as he folded and stacked the flowers in a manner that appeared aesthetically pleasing.
“Do you intend to accomplish something with such blatant flattery?” Luna asked teasingly as she finished applying a sufficient amount of peanut butter.
“Is the sexiest alicorn in all Equestria happy?”
“Hey!” Celestia whined.
Luna guffawed at her sister’s displeasure. It was like delicious icing on the already delectably cheesy cake of her lover’s sappy line. Her contagious laughter soon spread to the human in question. And watching them have such fun, Celestia couldn’t help but join in.
Once he’d recovered, Thomas looked at the results of both their hard work and smiled in satisfaction. “Never made a flower sandwich before, but I think this looks pretty good,” he gestured to the stack of flowers before him. “And for someone, er, pony who’s never made a sandwich period…” he eyed her work judgmentally.
“W-what?”
Thomas beamed up at her. “Well I’d eat it.”
Luna’s face scrunched up in faux annoyance at his comment, but really that was the best thing she could have hoped to hear. “In that case, shall we?”
The two pressed their breads together with a soft squelching sound as their ingredients were crushed slightly. Setting them back on the counter, they nudged their sandwiches over to the other party. Exchanging proud synchronized nods, both picked up their meals, held them cautiously in front of their faces, and took their first bites.
“Look out!”
“What in Tartarus is that!?”
“GRAAAAAAAACK!!!”
Mouths full, Thomas and Luna snapped to attention and looked over to the right side of the kitchen. A giant octopus tentacle had reached out of a boiling pot and was swinging wildly at the chefs.
“Seershry!?” Thomas exclaimed angrily before swallowing. “How the hell did that even happen!?”
The next half hour was taken up by the Princesses engaging in epic battle with the spontaneously spawning tentacle monster. There were even moments that could have been called erotic, had they not been so life threatening. Investigations would later reveal that the chefs who had been making that particular stew had been so enraptured with Thomas and Luna that they accidentally added a number of ingredients, magical ingredients, that were never ever ever ever meant to go together. In the calm that followed the mini war, Thomas sat beside Luna and finished his sandwich, which he’d somehow managed to hold onto throughout the ordeal.
“It was good,” he smiled, only to have the wind knocked out of him by a sudden Luna glomp.
From that day forward, it was decided that Luna would use the hour that had been dedicated to speech lessons to now preoccupy herself with cooking lessons. Thomas’ presence was mandatory. After everything had been settled, Thomas turned to Attentive Eye and inquired if a Silver Bell was applying for a position in the night court staff and if the secretary might give the bat pony some extra consideration. As he did so, he did not see Luna’s ears stand high and eyes bulge, nor did he see the Princess nod insistently for Attentive Eye to accept the request.
Thomas couldn’t help but squirm nervously as he sat beside the griffon on Luna’s bed. The alicorn in question was sucking him off as she’d always done, but it seemed using her fingers on Talon had become a permanent alteration to their routine as the griffon sat hip-to-hip beside him. The human felt the urge to stifle his usual moans out of embarrassment as Luna gobbled up his junk, but Talon had no such inhibitions and let out a mighty shriek when she came. Luna’s horn lit and captured the griffon’s juices in her magic. When she’d had her fill from Thomas, she brought the orb of juices up to her face, sniffed it a little, and then took a sip with the refinement one normally reserved for wine.
“Exquisite,” Luna said, smacking her lips. “Thy flavors combine quite beautifully.”
“Damn, filly,” Talon awed as she recovered from her orgasm. “Guess you got a thing for oral, don’t chya?”
“Indeed,” Luna admitted without a hint of embarrassment as she finished off the remainder of Talon’s cum. “It is most delightful for a Princess to be of service to others from time to time,” she said with a coy smile.
“How’s he taste, anyway?” Talon asked as she slowly and deliberately turned to face Thomas, breaking him out of his trance-like fixation on Luna. “I’m curious how a human compares to other males.”
“Delectably sweet,” Luna cooed. “His is a flavor unlike any we have ever tasted before.”
“Right here,” Thomas mumbled softly.
“You don’t say,” Talon said in intrigue as she glared with greater intensity at the human beside her, causing him to shrink a little. The griffon frowned. “What’s that look for?”
“W-what looooooo-” Thomas was unable to continue as the griffon yanked him up and set him down on her lap. They were both still fully nude and Thomas couldn’t ignore the wetness against his bottom, or the hardened nipples pressed against his back. Not knowing what to do with them, he held his hands out away from his body.
Talon set her claws down on top of Thomas’ thighs to hold him in place while she rested her chin on the top of his head. Her claws had a rugged yet pleasant texture, like one who had held weapons for a good chunk of her life, but had now turned her appendages to more delicate pursuits. “That one,” she said with a smirk as she imagined how embarrassed the human surely was by her antics.
Luna had covered her mouth to stifle her giggles. “You two are so cute,” she cooed. The alicorn turned to face the closet, giving her bed-mates a full view of her plump rear. She didn’t need to see to know exactly where the human and griffon were looking, which gave her a small thrill as she walked with a bounce in her step to the closet. There, she felt a cruel sense of satisfaction as she plucked a dress from a hanger and felt it slide down over her body, and conceal her assets from prying eyes. Talon’s groan of disappointment was satisfying, but Thomas’ silence was unnerving. She turned her head to face the human. “Something the matter, Dearest Thomas.”
“Just… just still getting used to,” he tilted his head up in the direction of the griffon, “this.”
Luna nodded. “Tali. Perhaps you could not be so forceful.”
“Aww,” Talon whined, moving her claws up to his stomach to hold him all the tighter. “But he’s like a perfect fit. And I didn’t hear him complaining earlier when I woke up with his face between my boobs.”
“I said I was sorry,” Thomas asserted.
“I wasn’t,” Talon grinned.
“I know. I know,” Luna nodded, smiling sympathetically as her regalia were levitated to its respective positions. “And I must apologize to both of you for my negligence last night. It was meant to be a bonding experience for the three of us, but… I…”
“It’s alright, Luna,” Thomas assured with a warm smile. “I was happy to help.”
“That you were, my stallion,” Luna returned the smile. “It is troubling how frequently my plans have been going off track as of late, so perhaps this is for the best.”
“This?” Thomas asked.
“This.” Luna gestured to the human and griffon. “We… I am saddened at my failure to show you the proper way for ponies to court one another. However, perhaps the two of you being together, pretending like you are strangers, would be a bit more authentic than if I were here.”
Thomas frowned and struggled out of the griffon’s grip until she finally let him loose. Without a word, he walked up to the alicorn and stood directly in front of her. The top of his head only came up to the bottom of her breasts, which she had to look between to get a clear view of the determination in his eyes. Luna smiled and leaned down until she was barely an inch from his face where she had a better view of his eyes. The determination had faded, only to be replaced by concern and uncertainty. There was so much he wanted to say, but despite saying he preferred when people just said what they wanted to say, he couldn’t bring himself to give voice to his words. He wanted to tell Luna how stupid she was for thinking he might enjoy himself more if she weren’t around. He wanted to ask if this courting thing could be postponed until she could make time to come along. He also wouldn’t mind telling her that her choice of dress made her butt look especially big tonight. But when he realized the words just wouldn’t come, he closed the remaining distance between them with a firm kiss to her lips, hoping doing it the pony way might convey the desire message.
When the kiss ended, Luna stood back to her full height and smiled down at the human. “Thank you, but you’ll do fine.”
Holy crap! Did it actually work?
“And Tali,” Luna addressed the griffon who had been watching in silence from the bed. “Just be gentle and play nice.”
“Yes ma’am,” Talon saluted.
Luna departed for night court, leaving the human and griffon to their own devices.
**********
“So then he just couldn’t stand it anymore and told her that it had been on her head the entire time.”
The trio guffawed at the griffon’s story of an especially amusing misadventure back in the RGR. After breakfast, they had decided to head to Luna’s chambers where they all sat around a fancy table one would normally see in a gazebo, complete with fancy tea cups. Moonlight had been hesitant about simply lounging around the Princess’ room, but encouragement from her friends went a long way to calm her nerves. Talon’s dirty stories didn’t hurt either and the mare was eventually convinced to remove her helmet and most of her armor, leaving only her undershirt and trousers to add to the casual setting. She didn’t take it any further as she didn’t want to offend Thomas with her nudity, though she still wasn’t sure how that was supposed to work, especially since Talon’s one article of clothing left so little to the imagination. Thomas had insisted on wearing a full set of clothes on his day off, but after much debate with Talon, they compromised on just a pair of shorts.
“I can’t believe she really didn’t notice after all that time,” Moonlight gasped, clutching her sides.
Thomas had propped himself on his hands to keep from falling over. “What’d she do then?”
“What else could she do?” Talon shrugged nonchalantly. “She ate it.”
“Naaaaasty!” Thomas held his sides as he swung his head from side to side.
“How… could… she…” Moonlight struggled to say between laughs.
Eventually, they all calmed down and Talon had called a servant to fetch them some tea.
“Tali,” Moonlight addressed. “I trust you’ll look after Sir Thomas while I make use of the restroom.” She said as she made for the exit.
“Sure,” Talon nodded. “But why bother using one of the communal stalls when you’ve got a perfectly luxurious throne here?” She pointed with her thumb behind her to Luna’s private bathroom.
“Oh, Faust forbid,” Moonlight shook her head. “I couldn’t…”
“Couldn’t what?” Talon leaned back in her chair as she held her cup with her pinky claw extended. “Defile the royal throne with your inferior excrement? Do you really think Luna’s petty enough to care about something like that?”
“I… no,” Moonlight shook her head.
“Then just go already,” the griffon insisted.
“Fine! I shall partake of the royal throne, as you so graciously put it,” the mare said in a mock posh tone before standing from her seat and departing.
“Just don’t miss, or she’ll really let you have it,” Talon called after her, earning a forceful slam of the door.
Moonlight’s response had been a bit harder than she’d intended, but was relieved for the privacy as she marveled before the pristine condition of Luna’s bathroom. Something about some pony of her station using such facilities seemed wrong, but at the same time she couldn’t deny herself what she was certain was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So she dropped her trousers and planted her rump on Luna’s secondary throne. Doing her business quickly, she washed her hands and returned to her stallion’s… ward’s side at the table.
“So…” Thomas shook his head in amusement at the situation at hand as he took a sip of his drink and set it back down on its holder. “Is this supposed to be courting or something?”
“Eh. More or less,” Talon shrugged before taking a sip of her drink. “Why? What’d you expect?”
“Don’t know,” Thomas admitted. “Since the female is supposed to do the courting in this culture, aren’t you supposed to take me out, show me a good time, that sort of thing?” What he said didn’t sit well with him. “That is, not to sound like I’m being picky or anything.” He added nervously, not wanting to sound ungrateful.
“And that’s exactly what we’re doing,” Talon held up her cup. “You like it when we just hang out and don’t really do anything big, so that’s what we’re doing.”
Thomas blinked in surprise at the griffon’s insight and consideration. He couldn’t deny that this really was his idea of a good time, just hanging out with friends. It’d be nice if Luna were here too, but maybe next time. “Thanks, Tali,” he said warmly.
“No problem.” Talon replied with equal warmness. You’d better be paying attention, short stuff. She tried to convey through her eyes. Pay attention and show your date some consideration. You’ll be tested on this later.
Thomas gave a flat smile followed by a quick nod to show he understood.
“So, if this is some sort of strange courting,” Moonlight cut in, “where exactly do I fit in?” She’d surprised herself with the question, but for some reason this seemed like a matter that needed to be discussed.
“Where ever you want, babe,” Talon bobbed her head as she wiggled her eyebrows. “Front, back, top, bottom, maybe just watching from the side? Where ever you want.”
“Thank you,” Moonlight said through a forced smile as she leered at the griffon. “But I think I’ll just be your designated chaperone for the evening.”
“Self-appointed third wheel, huh?” Talon observed. “Sticking to your strengths. Good plan.”
“Thank you,” Moonlight said sarcastically.
“For what it’s worth, I like having you around,” Thomas added. “It’s just not the same without you.”
Moonlight froze as her ears stood high and cheeks started turning pink. However, she surprised herself by how quickly she recovered before Thomas could notice. “Thank you, Thomas.”
“And thank you for dropping the ‘Sir’,” he said right back.
“But you are correct,” Moonlight added. “A date meant for courting should have a bit… more.”
Now it was Thomas’ turn to freeze. This was going exactly where he was afraid it would. “More? Like what?”
“W-well,” Moonlight trailed off.
“Don’t keep us in suspense, smarty-corn,” Talon encouraged. “Chimp needs to learn pony courting norms. You’re a pony, so tell us what you think should happen.”
“Well,” Moonlight paused as a legion of fantasies bombarded her mind. None of which were appropriate for a first date. Then again, isn’t this technically their third date? They’ve been out plenty of times as just friends, but the last two, she was already stabled to Luna, so I’m not sure how that should count. Also, I had been present and even participated in all of them. *Gulp* What’s more, he invited me on the second one, so… No! Focus!. “Most ponies like to start a date off with a nuzzle, or kiss.” She whispered the last part, but quickly composed herself before going off on another tangent. “Just a little show of affection to really start things off.”
Thomas looked over to see the large griffon had silently closed the distance between them as her chair now stood directly beside his. He could feel the heat coming off her body. Her expression oozed with want and her eyes promised an unstoppable determination as her eyebrows bounced suggestively. This was going to happen, and there really wasn’t any reason it shouldn’t.
“S-sure,” Thomas gulped as he cautiously leaned forward, carefully aiming his head to her right side. Matching his pace so as not to frighten him with sudden movements, Talon did the same for his right. In no time they were close enough that Thomas could feel the feathers of Talon’s cheek brush against his own. Soft. Then a strange aroma wafted into his nose. Is she wearing perfume? When’d she find the time to put on perfume, and why? Was she just following the motions of what was expected, or was she… warm? His thoughts trailed off.
Thomas hadn’t even realized that his face was already buried into the crook of Talon’s neck. Her soft feathers lightly tickled his face and the skin beneath radiated comforting warmth. Then he noticed the crook of his own neck was now occupied as well. Aside from the same softness and warmth, the most notable texture against his bare skin had been the thing that he’d been most concerned about, the beak.
The only birds Thomas had ever been able to get close to were either birds of prey held by professionals so they didn’t scratch your eyes out, or pet parrots, but those encounters were colored by hearing stories about their ability to bite off fingers. Either way, while not being afraid, he’d always been wary of larger birds. Since coming to Equestria, he’d managed to find solace in the similarities between humans and ponies, but Talon was easily the most inhuman thing he’d seen, all because of that beak. It wasn’t as solid as he’d expected, bending softly as she pressed it into his flesh. Though that really shouldn’t have been so surprising, given how he’d seen it bend and contort to make the same noises as any mouth. He still felt the sharp point on his skin, but it seemed duller than he’d imagined as she rubbed her face against him. All the while his arms felt awkwardly useless as he held them by his sides, not certain if a hug would be appropriate in this situation.
Remembering what they were supposed to be doing, Thomas returned the gesture and nuzzled into Talon’s neck feathers. She smelled nice. He couldn’t quite place what kind of smell it was beneath the perfume, but it was a nice and familiar odor, one he’d come to associate with companionship. It was her scent. He heard the faint sucking of air beside him and presumed Talon was also familiarizing herself with how he smelled. And then, just as he was wondering exactly what this all meant, she kissed him.
Wait, what?
That’s what happened. Mid nuzzle she had craned her head a bit too far to one side, giving her full access to his cheek. Seeing an opportunity, she seized it.
Whatever beaks were made of, it was room temperature, rather than warm like lips. Like before, it had flexibly bent and compressed into his cheek. Thomas felt the strange avian mouth further bend into what he could only figure was a pucker. It was no pair of lips, but the beak had suddenly become a lot softer and even just the tiniest bit warmer.
Finally, Talon broke the kiss and nuzzle as she pulled back. She stared down at the dumbstruck looking human. A gentle and affectionate smile adorned her beak. This had gone better than she’d imagined. He’d never said as much, but she had noticed the way he’d always made sure to avoid her beak. Even when he was struggling to escape her bear hugs, he’d paid special attention to avoid her beak. It hadn’t bothered her that much, but she did plan to confront him on it eventually and now seemed as good a time as any.
“Well?” the griffon asked as she looked over at Moonlight.
The orange unicorn jumped a bit at being brought back down to reality after watching such a strangely intense nuzzle. “Y-yes?”
“How was that?” Talon asked confidently as her arm snaked around to grab the human’s opposite shoulder.
“Th-that was… nice. Yes. A very nice first nuzzle. That’s generally how most first dates start,” the unicorn said as coolly as she could.
“And you?” Talon turned back to Thomas. “Was it good for you too? Cause your skin felt really weird, but in a good way.” Her face scrunched in nervous consideration. “Naked skin is just so…” she trailed off.
“I…” Thomas began, only to stop as the room fell into deafening silence. Feeling very self-conscious, Thomas reviewed and re-reviewed what he wanted to say. It might have been easier if he could think of anything at all, but his mind just kept drawing a blank as it could do nothing but focus on the sensation of Talon kissing him. Talon had kissed him and now she wanted to know what he thought. Thomas pulled himself from his mind to look up at the griffon who was slowly losing confidence in her smirk.
He’s not saying anything. Talon thought worriedly. What’s that nervous look on his face for? *Gulp* Oh crap. Did I move too fast? Did I break him? Stupid human. Why didn’t you say you were this fragile? Wait… No. That can’t be right. If he broke this easily, there’s no way Luna… damn it. I knew we should’a waited till she was around. Maybe then she’d tell me how humans do it and we could finally get somewhere.
“I…” Thomas tried again to speak, hoping he could just wing it and blather something that made sense, but the words just died in his throat. He knew he had to say something, feeling as if each second that ticked by was drawing them ever closer to some terrible point of no return where he might seriously jeopardize his friendship with Talon. Action was called for, and there was only one action the panicking human could think to take. In for a penny...
Moonlight brought both hands over her mouth to hide her gasp. After several agonizing seconds of awkward silence, her human friend had, with his eyes closed, jumped up to kiss her griffon friend square on the beak. Talon’s eyes had widened in shock. But several blinks later, the griffon batted her eyelids until they gently closed and she leaned in to kiss right back. As if on auto pilot, Talon’s arms rose and wrapped around his back. In response, Thomas’ arms followed reflex and wrapped around her waist. They stayed like that for ten grueling seconds until the human felt he’d gotten his point across and pulled back with a soft smack of the lips.
Opening her eyes, Talon narrowed her vision down at the human. He fidgeted under the weight of her glare, and she could tell he was wondering if he’d just committed some major faux pas.
Oh great! Now what? Due to his timid nature and because it was the norm of this world, Thomas had always let the ladies take the lead. Is it some taboo thing for the male to kiss the female like this? Does it have something to do with Talon being a griffon, like how their culture works differently or something? Stupid! I should have asked first. Damn it. He bemoaned. I… I only wanted to show that I didn’t mind her beak anymore, but did I pass the point of no return anyway? These and other questions would have continued to plague his mind until Talon, for the second time tonight, yanked him off his seat and sat him upon her lap where she unceremoniously plopped her chin on the top of his head.
“Um… Tali?” Thomas asked meekly, trying not to think about how the griffons nipples were even harder than the last time they poked into his back.
“Yeah, chimp?”
“Are… are we…” Thomas hesitated, knowing he’d have to phrase this just right. “Are we… good?”
Talon suddenly wrapped both arms around his chest and pulled him tightly against her, her breasts squishing firmly against his back. “Not bad, little buddy,” she said contentedly. “Not bad at all.”
Thomas let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and wrapped his arms around Talon’s. “That’s… great to hear,” he exhaled again as he felt the tension leave the room and his body. Talon’s grip was firm, but soft and he couldn’t help but allow himself to relax into it. “So, I guess this is the sort of thing herds do, huh?”
“More or less,” Talon said as she hugged him tighter. “It really doesn’t mean as much as you’ve probably been thinking. ‘Herd’ is just a label so everyone else knows when someone’s in a relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything has to change between us, my little chimp,” she added teasingly as she let her thumb brush his stomach. He was still a bit round, but he’d definitely toned up since they’d started working out. After congratulating herself on a job well done, Talon discretely let her eyes wander over the tiny form in her grasp.
He’s coming along nicely, but I guess it’d be too much to expect him to fill out much more than he already has. Although, since he’s human, he might surprise me. I can ask him about it later, though. Talon thought as her eyes traced from his arms, to his chest, then down to his groin and legs. If we keep up his routine, we’ll probably make him leaner, but never much bigger. That’s fine with me, since I’ve never been much of a fan of the over muscled type. She half smiled. Guess that’s just one more way I’m more like a pony than a griffon. She thought dryly, but decided to toss those thoughts away in favor of just savoring the physical contact.
“That’s nice to hear,” Thomas answered contentedly. Beak’s still a little odd, but I don’t mind it as much. Other than that, Tali’s actually pretty hot; though in all fairness, I’ve yet to encounter anyone here that wasn’t at least a 6 by human standards. She’s got a well-toned body, pretty decently sized rack, and her butt ain’t bad either. Come to think of it, the beak actually gives her a bit of an exotic charm. I wonder just how… Thomas considered the right wording as his mind went to imagining Talon use that beak of hers for foreplay. He tensed briefly, but just as quickly worked to reason his worries away. Might be weird, but she’s my friend. If she did… ask me to stick my dick in there, she wouldn’t really do anything to hurt me. However, rational arguments can only go so far when it comes to the security of one’s genitals, so he attempted to change the subject. “Glad to have you watching my back, feather brain?”
The griffon removed her chin from his head and angled herself off to the side where she could look him in the eye. “Feather brain? You really trying to bring that one back?”
“Why not? I think it’s a perfectly fine nick name.” Thomas mused.
“It’s weird cause I actually know a pony named Feather Brain. He’s a sergeant in the city guard and runs a flight school for Canterlot pegasi. Good guy. Maybe I’ll introduce you some time.”
“Fair enough,” Thomas rolled his eyes and relaxed back into his seat warmer, no longer minding the little bumps against his back. This… this feels nice. He sighed, pressing his head back into Talon’s chin, only to start giggling.
“What’s so funny?” Talon asked.
“Just nice to be the sitter and not the seat for once,” Thomas shared amusedly.
As she watched the display before her, Moonlight was shaking as she fought to keep her inner filly from gushing over how adorable her friends looked. Oh my gosh! That’s just how my parents looked. After a hard day’s work, they’d all just climb on the couch together and just relax on each other’s bodies.
“Something you want to share, smarty-corn?” Talon asked disinterestedly.
“Oh? Uh…” Think fast, idiot! Don’t say anything that might ruin the mood. “I was just wondering, um, in the spirit of getting to know one another, how does this compare to human courting?”
The griffon blinked and smiled elatedly. “That’s a good question.” She briefly tightened her grip around Thomas’ stomach, causing him to yelp in surprised. “So tell us, chimp? What do humans usually do on their dates?”
“Oh? Let’s see here.” Thomas considered. “I guess it’s not all that different from what ponies do, though the guy is supposed to initiate.” It felt strange saying that, like admitting he’d failed somehow by never taking the lead even though that’s what was expected here. “It’s a little out of order, all things considered,” he grumbled, remembering what they did together that first night, “but I guess normally humans just like to hold hands.”
“Is that all?” Talon asked.
When the human affirmed, saying it was like their nuzzling, she rested the back of her claw on his thigh. After studying it a bit, Thomas let his own hand hover just above hers until he let if fall gently into her grasp. It was nice.
“Like this?” Talon asked as she felt the human’s tiny fingers tighten around her digits.
“Basically,” Thomas smiled. They sat in comfortable silence for some time.
Talon had held hands, claws, and paws before, but knowing this was the human equivalent of nuzzling made this time seem all the more intimate. Once more she was reminded of his smallness. Even ignoring emotional hang-ups, he was so meek and fragile in this land of relatively large and powerful beings. I could break him, and he knows it. Talon thought as her heart began to race with a mix of fear and excitement. He knows it, but he still trusts me enough to put my claws on him. He smiles real smiles when I’m around. And when he’s afraid, I’m one of the few he feels safe with. *Gulp* Why is this turning me on so much? Talon inquired as she felt the pressure of his back become tighter as her nipples pressed harder into him.
Noticing the increased pressure, as well as the ruffling of her wings, Thomas worried he knew what the griffon was thinking and sought to change the subject. “So, um, first kiss… what now?” Thomas immediately regretted his lifelong inability to say the right thing.
“Wanna try something a bit more fun?” Talon asked as her eyes widened in excitement.
Every fiber of Thomas’ being told him how stupid this was, but his lips still defied him and managed to ask, “Like what?”
Without warning, Talon had risen to her feet with the human still in her grasp and rushed towards the bed. Moonlight’s brain eventually caught up with what she was seeing and fumbled to pull herself up from her sitting position to give chase. However, it was already too late. By the time the unicorn caught up with them the griffon had already dropped Thomas on his back on the bed and, turned around, stripped her loincloth off, and, before he could sit up, planted her bare yet furry ass squarely on his lap.
Moonlight froze where she stood, unable to give voice to just how shocked she was.
Having the wind knocked out of him, Thomas would have also liked to speak, but all he could do was groan as the griffon shuffled about to make herself more comfortable, her toned backside grinding against him with deliberate precision and slowness. The only thought he could muster was gratitude that she hadn’t accidentally sat on his balls in the process.
“Miss Talon!” Moonlight finally shouted. “This is highly inappropriate.”
Talon just waved her claw dismissively as she continued her pursuit of a comfortable seat. “Nah.” She craned her head back to look her seat in the eye. “Remember when I said that nothing had to change just because we were herded?”
“Y-yeah,” Thomas struggled to say as the griffon continued to grind her buttocks against him. “W-what does thaaaaaaah,” he gasped as he felt his erection finally leave the confines of his loincloth and shorts and enter the confines of the griffon’s soft yet firm butt cheeks. They clenched around him in an agonizingly wonderful pressure. They weren’t as soft or squishy as Luna’s, but they were no less enjoyable for their taut firmness.
“Ah,” Talon sighed. “Much better. I can see why Luna likes this sitting thing so much. Anyway, when you get into a herd, you basically leave yourself open to stuff like this.”
“D-don’t I get a say in this?” Thomas struggled to say as Talon finally stopped moving, though his cock was firmly hot dogged between her buns.
“You’re free to say ‘no’ whenever you like.” Talon casually hummed an unfamiliar tune as her tail swished about across the human’s bare chest, its puffed tip tickling wherever it touched. She could feel the human’s heart beat through his penis and it was all she could do to keep her wings under control. “Just tell me to stop, and I will. Until then, I think I’ll get my fill of playing with my new toy.” She clenched her backside around his rod for emphasis. He’s so delicate, and he trusts me enough to sit in my lap. I’d be a fool not to return the favor. Besides, this feels really nice.
“I… uh…” but Thomas couldn’t bring himself to say it. She may have stopped moving, but the warm softness encasing his dick was just too good. It wasn’t quite driving him crazy or compromising his higher thought functions, but he did briefly consider the logistics of riding piggyback on Talon and just staying like this full time. It was not an unpleasant thought. Also, what she said made a bit of sense, at least to his now lust-charged mind, and he didn’t want to be rude.
Talon was having thoughts of her own. She really wanted to turn around fully and get a look at her handy work, but knew she had to resist. If she looked, it would betray how much she was enjoying the feeling of his foreign cock between her buns. And that was a weakness she wasn’t ready to let him exploit just yet. Besides, she had a vivid imagination. She could feel every square inch of the appendage inside her butt. Unlike stallions, male griffons, or any other sentient male she’d ever encountered, Thomas’ penis was rather small. However, its relative size meant that it was completely entrenched inside her rump, which she found to be a bit of a turn on at the power she felt over his small form. She had never had much of a preference for being a top or bottom, but right now she really wanted this human at her mercy, to do with as she saw fit. No doubt this was also something Luna enjoyed. I can hardly blame her, though. He’s just too tempting.
Moonlight couldn’t speak either. She knew she had to say something to protect her stal… friend. That’s it. Why do I keep thinking “stallion” when he’s clearly not even a pony? She shook her head to refocus her attention where it belonged. My charge, who was also my friend, is clearly in danger, right? No doubt the griffon has used her feminine wiles to coerce him into this position. Wait… no. She used her superior griffon strength on his relatively light weight body to – NOT THE POINT! She huffed in frustration. Thomas is clearly being coerced and I have to stand up in defense of my charge… who is also his stable-mate, who isn’t saying “no” after being offered the chance… Moonlight was rapidly losing confidence in her mission. No! None of that matters. I have to speak out and stand up for him… while he’s groaning like that, face scrunched up in pleasure, while Talon’s lovely wings are twitching in excitement, and… Is this really coercion? “No. Miss Talon. I must insist that you-”
“Moonlight,” Thomas said as he tried to prop himself up on his hands.
“Sir Thomas,” the unicorn said breathlessly as she rushed around the griffon and climbed the bed to Thomas’ side. She reached out to help him up, but quickly realized the futility as he could only come up to the griffon’s back.
“It's,” he breathed with a rather silly grin, “alright.”
“Alright?” Moonlight’s eyebrows rose in shock. “This is… alright?”
“Pretty sure that’s what he said,” Talon answered coolly as she remained unmoved. It was all she could do to resist the urge to pump her fist in victory, although she did briefly glance back at Moonlight’s reaction. That’s it, smarty. Look at him. Look at the face he’s making while he’s basically being mounted by another female.
“You stay out of this!” Moonlight snapped back.
“Shouldn’t you be telling him that?” Talon chuckled as she briefly ground her buttocks around his cock to make her meaning clear, causing him to whimper a bit. “Cause I got this thing in here and…” she trailed off.
“Its fine,” Thomas asserted before Moonlight could do anything drastic. He really was becoming used to the feeling. “It really is, uh, fine.”
“Fine?” Moonlight asked in exasperation.
“You heard him. Its fine,” Talon hummed as she focused on the burning hot piece of meat between her buns. She was also getting used to the feeling, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable. “We’re stabled, plus this is like our third date. If we were doing the pony thing, I’d have given him a little taste back at the second, so now I gotta make up for lost time,” she said with brazing confidence. “Plus the lead mare pretty much gave me the all-clear to do whatever, so long as I’m gentle.” Talon visibly flexed her glutes around Thomas’ member, causing him to whimper. “See? Gentle.”
Moonlight leered at the griffon, and then looked over at Thomas who could only give a relenting nod. The unicorn guard allowed her shoulders to slump as she relaxed, much to Thomas’ fascination. Talon’s rationale, combined with the acknowledgement of Luna’s approval, was apparently enough for Moonlight to accept the griffon’s antics, if a bit begrudgingly. Guess going with the herd applies to all sorts of situations.
“So smarty-corn,” Talon began. “Did ya remember to bring your book like I asked?”
Moonlight glared back at the griffon before leaving the bed and retrieving her book from her bag. “Right here!” She said through gritted teeth as she held it out for all to see.
“Awesome,” Talon nodded. She was happy her friend remembered what they planned to do tonight, especially after how excited she’d gotten last night, but the griffon couldn’t help feel a little disappointed at the lost opportunity for some alone time. Still, she had learned long ago to just roll with the punches and patted the spot on the bed beside her. “Come on then. Let’s get started.”
This was easily the most bizarre writing session Thomas had ever been a part of. It wasn’t enough that he was half naked in a room with two large women, one of whom was fully naked. Oh no. His cock was firmly wedged between the griffon’s toned buttocks while she sat in his lap, trying not to move too much. Meanwhile his other female friend, dressed in loose clothing that still managed to show off her lovely figure, was doing her best to pretend this wasn’t the situation as she held the book out for Thomas to read. She had to hold it for him because Thomas, due to his being unable to fully pull himself up where he’d only get a face full of griffon wing, had to support himself on his hands. It was the Prench incident all over again.
“And, uh,” Thomas strained to find the right words. “You really need more white space here.”
“White space?” Moonlight asked, holding a pen at the ready.
“Yeah. That’s what you call the space between paragraphs. See, walls of text aren’t very pleasing to the eye. They’re a bit exhausting just to look at, let alone read. Like here,” he indicated the page in front of him. “This paragraph is way too big. You should include breaks here, here, and here,” he pointed at spots along the page.
“Hmm,” Moonlight hummed as she studied the spots Thomas had pointed to. “I think I see what you mean, but does it really matter that much? By this point ponies would already be reading for the story.”
“That’s exactly the p-point,” Thomas stuttered. Talon had just taken the opportunity to stretch and it caused her buttocks to shift around his dick, much to Moonlight’s annoyance. “Y-you want the reader to be engrossed in the story. But little mistakes like this take them out of the moment. They make the reader think about the mistake instead of what they’re reading. I know it might seem small, but stuff like this can add up over time.”
“I see,” Moonlight nodded as she made the appropriate marks. “Thank you.”
“Sheesh, chimp,” Talon bemoaned. “What crawled up your butt and died?” She let her words hang in the air as she turned to meet her friends with the sort of grin that can get someone punched in the face.
“Not funny,” Thomas deadpanned.
“Agreed,” Moonlight added, though she made a mental note to save the line and circumstances behind it for later. It was stupid, but the sort of stupid her readers might enjoy, just as soon as she got some readers.
Talon narrowed her eyes on Moonlight, giving her an accusing leer as though she could see what the unicorn was doing in her mind, but then turned back around to face away from them. She’d considered turning around fully in Thomas’ lap so that she could face them and be a bigger part of the discussion while his cock would still be hot dogging her ass. However, that would require far too much movement, far more than his now twitching cock could handle. She’d do it right next time, though. This was far too much fun for a onetime thing. Talon then realized that she’d been so wrapped up with her own thoughts that she’d tuned out the others.
“And then I was thinking to have the bandit leader make his reveal right around here,” Moonlight continued. “I wrote notes here for some things I want her to say and I wanted to get your opinion on…”
Realizing she could only be the third wheel among these nerds, Talon returned to the realm of her own thoughts. This position really was nice. It was arousing, especially when she considered how she was only a few inches away from full anal. Knowing that she had the human at her mercy and could have whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it was oddly relaxing, though empowering might have been a better word. She briefly considered what it would be like to try other activities like this. Remembering the Prench incident, Talon tickled herself with musings on whether Luna could actually focus better with Thomas beneath her, or if perhaps there was some way to rework this into a training exercise to help build focus. Either way, further experimentation was demanded.
“So I thought here would be a good place for Sure Prospects to meet Gold Star, the sheriff,” Moonlight explained. “Both mares meet at-”
“Ugh,” Thomas cut her off with an exasperated sigh.
“What?”
“Gold Star? Sheriff?” Thomas asked, but Moonlight’s puzzled look said that she wasn’t getting it. “Don’t you think that’s a little too, ya know, on the nose?”
“How so?” Moonlight asked with genuine curiosity.
Thomas considered trying to explain the issue, but then shook his head in defeat. There was no reason to believe this time would be any different from his last dozen efforts to point out just how suspicious it was for pony names to match their personalities and/or cutie marks so perfectly. “Never mind. So, you were saying where they meet?”
“It’s at the saloon,” Moonlight answered excitedly, oblivious to the human’s philosophical plight. “Gold Star’s usually a pretty tough mare, but when Sure Prospects trips and falls on her, she thinks she’s being nuzzled at first. They realize their mistake and apologize, but Gold Star really likes Sure Prospects’ scent and offers to buy her a drink. Things just kind of spiral from there, especially when they team up to fight the bandits to save Gold Rush.”
“Sounds familiar,” Talon said to no one in particular.
“How so?” Moonlight asked sincerely, apparently having succeeded in her effort to forget what the griffon had been doing. Although a quick glance down caused her ire to return as she grimaced and her ears splayed. She was not disgusted by any stretch, and the griffon’s backside was far from unappealing, but she wanted to keep herself from imagining what Talon must have been feeling. My own rump is a bit plumper than Tali’s. She thought proudly. Surely it would consume Thomas’ dick just as easily. Then again, I’ve yet to get a look at his human penis, so I can’t really say anything for certain. Then she recalled the conversation with her friends yesterday and considered the prospect that Thomas’ dick might be able to grow. Maybe Talon had managed to angle it somehow, that hard piece of stallion meat wedged between those soft… stop it! She scolded herself.
“That whole love at first sight thing,” Talon said as she waved her claw about as she carefully turned to face the others. “It’s in a lot of the books I read. I wouldn’t say it’s bad, especially with how many ponies say that’s exactly how their herds started, but personally I think it’s overused.”
Love at first sight is common for ponies? Thomas wondered, musing on how such things were considered unrealistic back home. Then again, I’m probably not in the best position to criticize. He then frowned upon realizing the horrible mistake he’d been making. He’d been so focused on ignoring exactly where his penis was, passing it off as something not unlike heated underwear that was also really soft, that he’d actually been ignoring Talon for the last few minutes. Damn it! We just went through that intimate moment, and then I go and ignore her. What the hell’s wrong with me? Thomas tried to reason with himself that Talon had been saying as much as she felt like saying, but couldn’t help but wonder if she had also been feeling left out. He got his answer when Talon lightly clenched around his member.
“Hmm,” Moonlight considered. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try standing out by doing something different. What did you have in mind?”
“Well…” Thomas let his gaze linger on Talon before continuing. “What if they don’t like each other right away? What if, when Sure Prospects trips, she spills something on Gold Star’s chest. She gets angry and then starts butting heads with Sure. I think it’d be neat to have two equally hard headed ponies have to begrudgingly work together for the sake of the common good, and then bond slowly along the way. What do you think, Tali?” he added at the last minute.
“Hmm. Seems fine to me,” Talon said as she carefully swung her leg across Thomas’ chest so she was now facing him. She tried to keep a neutral face, but it quickly fell apart at hearing Thomas groan in pleasured agony and she smirked.
Moonlight blinked as she considered what she’d just heard, the idea, not the sexy groaning. “You might be onto something there.” She pulled the book from Thomas and quickly began scribbling notes on a blank page. “I’ve seen that sort of thing has been done before, but it’s really rare. Given the circumstances, though, I think I might be able to rework it with a fresh spin,” she explained as she stared transfixed with her writing.
Thomas grinned as he imagined that this was how his own face looked when he was riding a creativity-high. However, that thought made him frown when he realized it had been ages since he’d had one of his own. All my old stories are back home, or rather my old house, and there’s no way I’d ever be able to remember them enough to recreate them. They’d probably be too dark for Equestrian audiences anyway. He smiled flatly. I miss my online readers.
“Something the matter, chimp?”
Thomas looked up to realize Talon had been staring at him, but for how long he couldn’t say. “Oh, nothing really. Just, um…”
“Nothing?” Talon asked incredulously. “'Cause ya kinda went soft on me,” she indicated her rear with her eyes.
“Oh,” Thomas blushed. The case against him had some pretty undeniable evidence. It only got worse when Moonlight added her own concerned glare to the mix. “Well, it’s just been a while since I was able to write any of my own ideas.”
“How long of a while?” Moonlight asked in concern, setting the book down on her lap.
“Pretty much since I got here,” Thomas admitted. “Pretty much there’s been something going on every minute of every day. I guess I’ve just been a bit too tired or too preoccupied to let the creative juices flow.”
“That’s buck brain for ya,” Talon shrugged. “Guess this,” she gestured down to her, “ain’t exactly helping much, huh?”
“Not with writing, no,” Thomas agreed with a nonchalant smile as he averted his gaze. “But I, uh,” he almost made some smart-ass comment about how she was helping other juices flow, but then he glanced over at Moonlight and thought better of it. Then he gasped as Talon slowly lifted herself up and let his cock slide out of her bottom cheeks where it flopped limply between his legs. He and Moonlight looked up at Talon in surprise, silently demanding she explain.
“Eh,” Talon shrugged. “It’s just not as fun if he ain’t hard,” she explained as she took a new seat just beside him, opposite Moonlight, while Thomas fumbled to pull his shorts back up. “How 'bout you, smarty-corn? You want a turn?”
“No thank you,” Moonlight said politely, trying to suppress her curiosity of finding out just what a human penis looked like, or even felt like. Then she noticed Talon looking just behind her and was horrified to find her tail reflexively jerking from side to side. With a little will power, she managed to stop it, but it was too late. Talon had seen it for sure, but she wasn’t the one the unicorn was worried about. She looked down at the human to find him, still propped up on his elbows, looking her in the eye. He didn’t notice! She cheered internally.
“Um,” Thomas began but stopped when he saw the worried look Moonlight gave him. Concluding he’d just seen something he shouldn’t, the human figured the safest thing to do would be to pretend nothing happened. “So!” he said a bit louder than intended as he pulled himself upright and, discretely as he could manage, tried to push his junk back into the loincloth. “We were talking about how Prospects meets, uh, who was the other one again?”
“G-Gold Star,” Moonlight answered as she slid off the bed and moved to where they’d left their tea. “B-but if you, maybe, want to talk about something else…”
“Ya wanna know what I want to talk about?” Talon asked as she faced away from them. “I’d like to talk about us doing something fun that we can all enjoy.”
“Something fun? Like wh-” Thomas began to ask, only for the answer to come of its own accord. Oh no. I was so focused on writing with Moonlight that I’ve practically been ignoring Tali this entire time. Damn it… again! Why do I keep doing that? “Tali!” Thomas bolted up, surprising Moonlight. “I’m so sorry.”
Talon frowned in concern. “Okay. What about?”
“This whole time,” Thomas gestured. “I’ve been ignoring you.”
“Ignoring me?” Talon inquired as she turned to Moonlight for answers. The unicorn merely shrugged. “You guys were just in the zone, like you always are when writing. Besides, you liked my ideas on the first sight thing, so it’s not like you were deliberately leaving me out. Plus you were nice enough to provide me some good front row seats.” Her brow rose suggestively.
“That’s no excuse.” Thomas said as he slid off the bed and stood before the much taller Talon. “You said this was supposed to be like a first date, and I shouldn’t have let myself get sidetracked. I’m sorry.”
Talon smirked and roughly ruffled his hair. “There ya go, chimp,” she said proudly. “Being considerate of your date’s feelings is a really attractive quality.”
“So… you’re not mad?” he asked hopefully.
“Considering I hadn’t even noticed until you pointed it out to me,” Talon said as she stroked her chin. “I’m a have to say yes. I am very mad.” She concluded with an unbefitting smile, leaving Thomas confused.
“What?”
“You heard me.” Talon folded her arms to show she meant business. “You have offended your lady, good sir. Honor demands atonement.”
“Atonement?” Thomas asked nervously, remembering the last time that word had been used. His anxiety only became worse when he saw the gleam in Talon’s eye. “L-like what?” Dumbass. Why would you ask that?
Talon bent over until she was nearly at eye level with the human. “Moonlight.”
Moonlight straightened up as she came back to reality. With considerable embarrassment, Moonlight crawled off the bed and stood behind Thomas. “Y-yes?”
“Ya wanna know a secret?” Talon asked, never taking her accusing eyes off Thomas. “Chimp here has been keeping a secret from us.”
“A s-secret?” Thomas stuttered nervously. How’d she figure out I’m from another world?
“Oh yes,” Talon nodded. “A most shameful secret indeed.” She straightened up and stood back to her full height before facing Moonlight. “You see, Smarty, Thomas here…”
She said my name! Oh crap. This can’t be good.
“… has failed to tell us…”
Please don’t be mad. Please don’t be mad. Please don’t be mad. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you guys about the other world thing, but Luna said… Oh crap. Please don’t be mad.
“… that he’s a decent story teller.”
Please don’t be… wait… “What?”
“Stories?” Moonlight queried.
“Yeah,” Talon beamed. “Moonbutt told me about it the other day. Apparently what humans lack in magic they make up for with imagination. The way she went on about it, it sounds like his people have more stories than there are books in all of Equestria.” She glanced down at Thomas. “She went on to say that, if he were a pony, his cutie mark would involve the telling of stories.”
“He’s that good?” Moonlight asked in awe.
Feeling the blush from Talon’s remark, Thomas also recognized the familiar weight of female stares descend upon him. Moonlight especially was looking at him expectantly. Talon’s hype was inescapable, as was the grip of the claw she set on his shoulder.
“Exactly how long were you planning to keep this from us, little buddy?” Talon asked with a threatening smile.
“I… that is to say…” Thomas fidgeted. His toes had become very cold.
“She raises a fair question.” Moonlight added as she stepped closer until they felt each other’s body heat. “I’d have liked to hear your stories.”
He dared to look back, but his heart sunk when Moonlight looked down upon him with disappointed eyes.
“This is your atonement, chimp.” Talon said firmly. “For the remainder of the evening, you’re going to be telling us stories from the human country.”
Just stories? That’s not so bad. Thomas smirked. Bet these guys’d get as much of a kick out of classic Disney, or anything of the other stories, as Luna did. Shaking his head in defeat, Thomas stepped away from the females until he was a fair distance in the middle of the room before turning back and bowing gracefully. “And what manner of stories would the fair ladies ask of me?”
“Got anything raunchy?” Talon asked immediately.
Moonlight rolled her eyes. “What about a romance story? Everypony likes those.”
“Buck that. I want something funny, maybe a little exciting while we’re at it.”
“You already had your fun with sitting on him like that.” Moonlight said indignantly. “Now it’s my turn.”
“You might have a point,” Talon nodded. “Except that he just admitted he was ignoring me that whole time to work on your book, so that makes my turn.”
The pair looked like they were about to come to blows. Thomas knew he had to do something quickly. “What if I picked one of my favorites?” He offered. “Something I grew up with and loved ever since.”
The females glanced from him to each other before agreeing that would be best as they sat beside each other on the bed. Alright then. Just gotta be a bit careful about talking about my earth, so nothing with much geography. “Let’s see here,” Thomas considered out loud. No geography, so that rules out American Tail; Indiana Jones would probably be too familiar; definitely nothing with too much special effects. Thomas continued thinking until he recalled his audience’s demands. Funny, romantic, but also some action. “I’ve got it!”
“Well it better not be contagious.” Talon retorted curtly.
“Don’t worry, Tali,” Thomas assured. “We’ve been sharing a bed, so you’ve probably got it already.”
Talon glared at Thomas before rapidly turning her head to face a snickering Moonlight. “Don’t. Say. One. Word.” She threatened.
Moonlight knew she should heed the threat, but simply couldn’t help herself. “I hope there’s a balm for tha-YOW!” She howled as Talon grabbed her breast through the shirt and squeezed.
“Hey! Hey!” Thomas moved to step between them. “No need for that.” But Talon had already released her grip, leaving Moonlight to massage her sore boob. “You alright, Moonlight?” He asked with concern.
“I… yeah,” Moonlight sighed. “I was just surprised. It didn’t really hurt.”
“Of course it didn’t.” Talon folded her arms smugly. “I’m a griffon who knows how to handle breasts. Now, before we get any more off track, how about you start the story and appease your mistress.”
Thomas exaggeratedly turned his head to survey the room. “But Luna isn’t back yet.” He smirked.
“You want me to sit on you again?” Talon threatened. “Cause I’ll do it. And I’ll make Smarty watch too.”
Deciding against reminding the griffon that Moonlight watched the first time, he decided they might as well begin. “Very well.” He took a step backwards and bowed elaborately. “Ladies and the one to the left.” He announced, gesturing to Talon. “Thomas productions is proud to be here tonight, to present to LIVE! The story,” he paused for dramatic effect, “of Robin Hood.”
While initially worried he might not remember all the necessary details, those worries quickly washed away as he began the opening narration from the rooster word for word, followed by the song from Disney’s Robin Hood. At first he felt a little self-conscious about singing in front of others, but that also passed as he got into the details of Robin Hood being a fox and Little John a large bear. Naturally he adjusted his voice between characters.
It wasn’t long before Talon and Moonlight fell under the spell of the narrative woven for them. Talon was mostly enjoying the story for its own sake, while Moonlight paid attention to the way the world was laid out with the presentation of the corrupt prince seeking to bleed his people dry, the thieves strangely holding the position of protagonists, the setting in a place called Nottingham, and how all the characters were anthropomorphic animals. There were several times the mare had to stop herself from interrupting with questions, but decided she’d politely hold her tongue in the hopes they’d be answered later.
Talon had no such reservations. “So are Prince John and Hiss married? Cause Hiss sounds like a stereotypical nagging husband.”
“I think it was intended that they seem like a married couple, but aren’t actually married.” Thomas tried to explain, not wanting to get into the history of homosexual presentation in the media. “You can think they are if it helps, though.”
“And what’s with every character being a different animal?”
“I think it’s how we, that is humans, tend to attribute certain qualities to animals.” Thomas explained. “So using animals actually helps establish the characters really early. For example: Foxes are sneaky, so it makes sense for the thief to be a fox. However, we tend to think of lions as more regal, so Prince John being a lion acknowledges the trope but also counters it. See?”
Moonlight nodded repeatedly, anxiously drinking in his knowledge of literary techniques. Talon seemed satisfied and Thomas resumed.
Next came the introduction of the Sheriff and Friar Tuck. Thomas made a show of swinging his arms out as he walked like the Sheriff, followed by pretending to peek around a corner to spy on the Friar. Thomas smiled as he watched Talon sneer as he pantomimed the Sheriff steal the coins from the crippled blacksmith. Mumbling what he assumed were assorted curses, both she and Moonlight looked ready to jump up when he took the coin from young Skippy and the blind beggar. Thomas had to talk them down before revealing that the beggar was actually Robin Hood who gave Skippy a small bow and arrow, as well as a few coins to the mother.
“The hero’s a thief and the villain’s a corrupt royal.” Moonlight said in awe. “Where’d you come up with an idea like that?”
“I didn’t. I’m just telling a retelling of a classic story of one of our myths.” Thomas admitted as he considered the reason for her surprise. “Is it really that surprising to have a royal as the bad guy?”
“Princesses have been ruling Equestria for a few thousand years,” Talon answered.
“Ah,” Thomas nodded understandingly. “The benevolent rule of alicorns has pretty much erased the idea of evil royalty from the public conscious, huh?”
“We still have bad leaders now and then, but not from the royal family,” Moonlight explained. “I mean, Blueblood’s pretty bad, but I don’t think even he’d ever go this far.”
“Here’s hoping,” Talon sighed.
The story continued with Skippy and his friends practicing with the bow, only to encounter Maid Marian and her hand-maid Clucky. Thomas had always enjoyed sharing videos with friends and family and watching their expressions. Seeing Talon and Moonlight from this perspective as Skippy did battle with Clucky, take Maid Marian into the hedges, and then be mercifully laughed at by his friends after being kissed, was incredibly satisfying.
Thomas continued with Robin Hood planning to enter the archery tournament. Moonlight’s eyes widened with eagerness just as he described Robin’s doing the same at the mention of Maid Marian. The trap was revealed as Prince John and Hiss conversed, but the audience was put at ease when he described Little John coming up in a disguise and befriending the Prince. Moonlight’s tail was wagging when Marian realized the stork was actually Robin in disguise. The tournament went on and Thomas delighted in the way both females straightened up when the Prince took interest in the disguised Robin’s performance. And when Robin was revealed and taken prisoner, the pair looked ready to jump out of their seats in protest. Thomas couldn’t help but take further satisfaction as he cruelly made drumming noises as he described the approach of the executioner.
As he mused over the females’ extreme reactions, that’s when the unpleasant thoughts came and suggested to him that his friends were putting on a show just like him, pretending to be interested. No. He denied weakly. They wouldn’t do that. They wouldn’t pretend to be interested just to pity me, would they?
“Swear to Faust, chimp.” Talon said threateningly. “If you end it here, I’m not gonna be held responsible for what Smarty does to ya.”
Surprised by her choice of words, Thomas looked over to Moonlight who was breathing very heavily as she glared menacingly back at him. Convinced that such acting was probably beyond them, Thomas resumed his telling with a renewed vigor as he described Little John threatening the Prince. Moonlight cheered when Robin and Marian embraced. Talon cheered when Little John gave the Sheriff a solid uppercut. And both were on the edge of their seats as all hell broke loose in the tournament. It was a chore to keep from smiling as Thomas animatedly described the fight. The comparison to hoof-ball with Clucky’s last charge was not lost on the listeners.
When it was over, Thomas set his hands above his knees and panted heavily. He’d let himself get carried away and his audience was vocally appreciative. As Moonlight volunteered to fetch his drink from earlier, she couldn’t help but dissect the story thus far. All the main characters are male. She realized. Maid Marian and Clucky are the love interest and side characters. Other than that last hurrah from Clucky and the one pie from Marian, the most proactive characters are all guys. Moonlight handed Thomas his drink as her mind raced to come to grips with this excitingly original idea. Mares are normally the more proactive ones. That’s just how ponies are. But if things are reversed with humans... Oh, I am so going to use this.
Talon had also noticed the reversal of what she’d come to accept as the norm for pony stories. However, as a griffon, her kind had always been a bit more egalitarian, thus the sex of the proactive characters wasn’t as big a deal for her. The story was still good, and Thomas was taking far too long to recuperate as far as she was concerned, but proactive males and passive females was around the bottom of her list of priorities right now.
Properly hydrated, Thomas picked up with Robin and Marian in the woods, singing the lovey-dovey song as the lovers stared into each other’s eyes. Then came the celebration, though Thomas made sure to be more mindful of his movements this time. Back at the castle, when Prince John learned of what the villagers were singing from the Sheriff, all good feelings left the audience as Thomas mournfully sang and described the plight of the people. And when the Sheriff took the last coin from the Friar, Thomas was thoroughly surprised when his audience joined him in yelling “Get outa my/his church!” The tense moment meant to be conveyed was broken when everyone realized they’d spoken at once and descended into low laughter.
With Friar Tuck arrested, Thomas resumed taking satisfaction from the sour looks of his audience as he described the fuming Prince John come up with his latest scheme to trap Robin. Then Robin, once more donning his beggar’s disguise, conned the Sheriff out of revealing the plan. Both females nodded approvingly when Robin, after understanding this was definitely a trap, said they had no choice but to act. Hero’s gotta be heroic, after all.
The females were on the edge of their seats as Thomas described the infiltration, whispering through much of it to add to the tension of the moment. Donning a new disguise, Robin successfully snuck Little John into the prison where he found Friar Tuck and all the other imprisoned citizens of Nottingham. At the same time, Robin scaled the tower to Prince John’s room. There he found all the peoples’ stolen taxes and, using roped arrows, created a delivery line between the two towers. Thomas smiled when his audience jumped as he rose his voice for Friar Tuck’s celebratory declaration. However, just as it looked like they were going to get away scot-free, Hiss woke up and all hell broke loose, again.
Not skipping on the sound effects and background music, Thomas told the tale of one of Disney’s great action scenes. Slapstick ensured as confused guards attacked the sniveling Prince and drove him through the walls. Arrows fell like rain. The people did what they could to evade, but they could do little else but run, leaving it up to the heroes to hold off the attack. But then the little girl got left behind, “because of course she did”, and Robin had to go back for her. Robin managed to save the girl, but was trapped behind the gate with no weapons, no disguises, and no backup. Thomas spared no detail in describing Robin Hood’s terror as he ran for his life. When the fire started the human was fairly certain his audience had moved past the edge of their seats, leaning so far forward that a slight breeze might knock them over. Having cornered himself in the tallest tower, Robin had no choice but to jump into the moat, only for Prince John to order one last barrage of arrows.
Instead of going with the ending he grew up with, Thomas decided his audience was mature enough for the deleted alternate ending. Little John pulled an injured Robin from the water, but Prince John’s forces were in hot pursuit. Both females had balled their respective hands and claws into fists as Thomas described Hiss and a cloak-wearing Prince John stumble onto the trail that had eluded his guards. The Prince and snake tracked them down to the church, where Little John had left his friend in the hands of Maid Marian. Although he’d only seen the story boards for this scene, Thomas let his imagination be carried by the momentum he’d built thus far and built the tension of Prince John slowly and menacingly approach his intended victim. As Thomas made the gesture of pulling out the imaginary knife, wearing a maniacal grin as he readied to deliver the killing blow… “King Richard!” The rightful King put the corrupt Prince in his place, as was only natural. Robin Hood and Maid Marian were married, Little John was made a Duke, and they all lived happily ever after. The End.
And with that, Thomas’ audience fell back into their seats, releasing the breaths they’d been holding since the fire started. Their emotional exhaustion seemed to match his physical exhaustion as all three panted heavily. Once more reassured that they weren’t merely putting on a show for his benefit, Thomas asked “So. Was it good for you?”
The females exchanged questioning looks before returning their focus to the man who had given them such an exciting ride.
“That was amazing. I’m up for another round if you are.” Moonlight announced giddily. “The sounds you made. They were just so… I don’t even have the words.”
“Not me.” Talon heaved. “Just… just give me a few minutes to recover. Ya worked me over pretty rough a few times back there. I’ll be ready in a bit.”
Thomas glared suspiciously at his listeners. Their choice of words seemed very peculiar. “Are you doing that on purpose?”
“Doing what on purpose?” Talon asked innocently.
“Never mind.” Thomas shook his head. “Let’s see here.” He folded his arms in contemplation. Before he could begin thinking of the next ‘round’, his stomach announced its discontent. “How about we call an intermission and have something to eat.”
“Music to my ears.” Talon said, lazily waving her hand to the spot on the wall with the bells.
Taking the cue, Moonlight stood and went over to the bells and pulled the one marked for meals. “What would you two like to order?”
They didn’t have long to consider before a knock came to the door. Moonlight casually walked over and welcomed in a maid. The maid smiled graciously and asked for their orders, which Talon answered as three spaghettis and a jug of water… for her. The others said what they wanted and the mare bowed and took her leave.
Chapter 53: A Male Griffon is Called a Cock (Clop)
The trio sat at the same table as before, enjoying a lovely lunch together. The chefs must have gone into overdrive to meet the orders from Luna’s chambers because their meals had arrived in ten minutes flat. Suck on that every fancy restaurant ever. The presentation was arranged so splendidly that it was almost a shame that they had to eat them, but only almost. Talon hadn’t bothered to put her loincloth back on, feeling quite comfortable eating while naked while Thomas kept his clothes where they were. Following his lead, Moonlight did the same, still uncertain what the human rules were regarding private nudity.
Moonlight had been talking Thomas’ ear off about the numerous ideas presented in the story, such as corrupt royalty, male protagonists in an adventure story, and the way music had been integrated throughout the whole thing. Thomas had been just as eager to engage with her, sharing what he knew, what others had said, and giving his own opinion for all it was worth, which, according to Moonlight, was a lot.
“So let me get this straight.” Moonlight continued after bolting down another bite. “You watch plays, big theatrical performances, on a mechanical box small enough to fit in a house?”
“That’s not it at all.” Thomas denied with a coy grin. “The box is actually big enough to fit on a carpet in the living room. The exact size varies depending on what you can afford but it’s generally about the size of two book shelves,” he explained, pointing at a nearby bookcase for reference. “But there are also big screens the size of a stage. They’re actually more common than regular theatres where I’m from."
Moonlight stared in wonder at the bookcase as she tried to imagine watching a play through such a small hole. “How?”
“I really don’t know,” Thomas admitted. “I mean, I know a little, but these are just ideas I grew up accepting as part of life. I know ideas around it, but I couldn’t build one from scratch. Like, do you know what radio waves are?”
“Radios have waves?” Moonlight asked.
“Wait. You guys have radios?”
“I don’t,” Moonlight corrected. “Too expensive. But my parents bought one a couple years ago when they first came out.”
Thomas blinked. “Then, do you know how they work?” He asked eagerly.
“Hmm. I guess it’s like you said. I don’t really know the mechanics around it. But I do know they operate on crystals.”
“Crystals?”
Moonlight nodded, swallowing her latest bite before continuing. “I don’t know how the spell works exactly, but I know they enchant one kind of crystal as a transmitter and another kind as a receiver. The receivers go in the radios and can be adjusted to pick up the signals from any of the public transmitter crystals out there. But like you said, I wouldn’t know enough to build one either.”
Thomas chuckled. “Sounds like you know more about your radios than I do mine.” He mused. “I think our radios use crystals too, but they’re just a small component of an elaborate mechanical system, not to mention they’re not enchanted.”
“Why don’t you enchant them?” Moonlight asked, only to shrink as deadpan stares fell upon her and she realized how silly her question was.
“For the same reason you’d win in a head-butt,” Thomas answered.
“Actually, you’d most likely win that one, chimp.” Talon interjected. “Horns are sensitive, remember? Hitting a unicorn there feels about as good as a kick to the balls.”
Moonlight cringed, rubbing her horn to ease the imagined pain.
“But this talk of picture radios, these ‘televisions?” Talon asked, waiting for Thomas to affirm she’d said it correctly before she continued. “Right. Could these things be built here?”
Thomas furrowed his brow in thought. “If radios are as simple as what Moonlight described, why not do the same with pictures as well as sound?”
“I’d hardly call that simple,” Moonlight asserted. “I don’t mean to sound condescending-”
“Too late.” Talon cut in with a joking smile.
Moonlight continued after she finished her traditional glare of indignation at her griffon friend. “But non-unicorns have no idea how unicorn magic really works. What I said is just the bare bones summary. The higher the level of magic, the complexity of the spell becomes exponentially harder than the last level. These kinds of enchantment spells are really hard to cast, which is why things like radios are so expensive.”
Thomas nodded as he lowered his gaze to his food, but he wasn’t dejected. He was still riding the high of his performance a few minutes ago and was determined to come up with a way to make it work. “The typewriter!” He blurted, pointing at the device that sat at the desk in the far corner of the room. “Those are enchanted too, right? The spells and design are new, but eventually ponies will figure out easier ways to make them work. Why can’t the same apply to radios and television?”
“Because, they…” Moonlight really wanted to argue, but the principle of what he was saying was sound. “That may be true, but you’d still have to develop the spell for the crystal.”
Talon turned from Moonlight to face Thomas, enjoying this back-and-forth they were having.
“Isn’t there already a spell that can project things you’ve seen onto a surface?” Thomas asked, remembering the season 5 episode with Rara. “Just take that spell and stick it in a crystal.”
Talon turned back to face Moonlight, enjoying how the debate was going.
“That spell is very advanced.” Moonlight countered. “Also, enchantments are an entirely different branch of magic with entirely different rules behind it. You can’t just make a spell like that. It’s not that easy and what you’re proposing is bordering on crazy.”
Nodding, Talon turned to face Thomas again, eager to see how he was going to get out of this one.
“Research and development,” Thomas said smugly to the unicorn’s befuddlement. “You get a team of experts in the field, preferably those with experience, and pay them to find a way to make crazy ideas into profitable realities.” Sensing there was still skepticism, Thomas went on. “Who wouldn’t want to see a live projection from the Princesses making some big announcement, rather than reading about it in the paper several days later? What about seeing your favorite books brought to life by professional actors, but on a screen at your house, and performing feats that are too wild for the regular stage?”
Frowning, Talon turned back to Moonlight. “I think he has ya there, Smarty.”
Moonlight stared firmly back at Thomas. “What you’re describing does sound amazing, but there’s still one last problem that’ll keep it from happening.”
“And that is?”
“The kind of crystals you’d need for transmitters and receivers are rarer than diamond,” the unicorn stated flatly. “Gemstones are one thing, but these kinds of crystals are extremely difficult to come by. Even then, the skill needed to cut them just right to be functional is also really rare. Even if you developed the spell, where are you going to find the abundance of crystals and crystal experts to put a television in every living room?”
Up north. Thomas thought snidely. Not sure on the exact timeline, but it’ll happen eventually. “Fair enough. No televisions in every living room.” he conceded, deciding against revealing his future knowledge just to win the argument. “But that still doesn’t mean we can’t have cinemas in every major town.”
“That’s it. I’m calling it here.” Talon declared as she copped her claw down between the bickering pair. “That was entertaining for a while, what with you two having each other on the ropes several times, but it’s pretty clear neither of you intend to back down, so I’m ending it now.”
“Sorry. Did we leave you out again?” Thomas asked sincerely.
“Quit being such a worry wort.” Talon assured, lightly shoving his shoulder. “I’m not some dainty little flower that’s gonna fall apart at the first mean word spoken to me. It’s not like I’m you or something.”
“Oh?” Thomas asked in intrigue. “Well if that’s how you’re gonna be, maybe I’ll ask Moonlight to pick out a story you’re sure to hate.”
“Now look who’s on the ropes,” Moonlight teased. “How about something completely wholesome and tame, with no action whatsoever.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” Talon leered at Moonlight. “Besides, it can’t rightly be called a story if there’s no conflict.”
“As a matter of fact,” Thomas began with a sinister grin. “I do happen to have something like that; a story with no villain, no fights, and everyone gets along almost all the time.”
“Y-you're bluffing,” Talon insisted anxiously. “There’s no way something like that exists.”
“It’s regarded by all as a classic, beloved by children and the inner-child of us all.” Thomas lifted his cup and sloshed the liquid around in a way he hoped made him look like a super villain. “This one big story, and it’s many many many shorter follow-ups are all in my arsenal, ready to be unleashed upon any I see fit.”
“Keep talking, short stuff,” Talon challenged with renewed confidence. She suspected he was just putting on a show, and he needed to learn that you don’t threaten a griffon with a bluff. “I’m calling it now. This so-called story doesn’t exist.” She declared, looming over him with her best challenging posture. Even Moonlight reflexively lit her horn as a precaution, though she knew Talon didn’t really mean anything by it. These shows of dominance were common in griffon culture and could often be seen in the case of a heated disagreement to get the other party to back down through sheer force of will. Though, if neither party backed down, coming to blows was not an uncommon outcome. However, Thomas gave no reaction at all. He just kept smiling, completely unfazed by his opponent’s challenge.
Thomas hadn’t noticed Moonlight’s reaction, thinking Talon’s posturing was just harmlessly playing along and not the body language of a griffon ready for battle. “And you want to know the scariest part about these stories?” he went on. “The scariest part is, no matter how tough or how hardened you think you are, by the time it’s over, you’ll have fallen in love with the characters just like the rest of us.”
The absolute certainty of Thomas’ threat had forced the griffon to second guess her position. And as she watched the boastful Talon back down from a creature barely half her size and only a fraction of her strength, Moonlight was left to wonder where Thomas had been hiding this confident side all this time. Talon was wondering something similar, only she wanted to know how she could bring that attitude of his to bed as she fought to keep her wings from spreading and knocking him over. Being beaten in a challenge, even if it was just in posturing, had really gotten the griffon in the mood.
Oblivious to all of this, Thomas set his drink back down and sighed. “Too bad it’s been years since I last saw it.” He confessed.
“What?” Talon chirped.
“Yeah. I can barely remember anything other than a few key parts. No way I’d be able to retell it and do the story justice.”
Sweet bucking Faust! Talon gawked as her feathers frilled in awe. Little guy just bluffed me. ME! I… I don’t… It was emotional whiplash to say the least, the way she’d been fantasizing about dominating him a few minutes ago, only for him to put her in her place just now, and with a bluff no less. Eventually she came to terms with what happened and concluded that honor demanded but one response, one course of action to set things right. I am going to rock his hairless midget world.
Lunch concluded fairly peacefully and Talon finally got her involuntary physical reactions under control. Thomas was the first to stand, only for Talon to abruptly rise from her chair, startling him. “I, um, was just going to call someone to clean uh-”
“I’ll…” Talon cut in loudly, only to realize what she was doing. Faust damn it, girl! Get it under control. “I mean,” she continued much more softly, “why don’t you let me do that?” Thomas nodded nervously and she headed over for the bells, cursing herself the whole time for letting her body tell her that Thomas was an alpha seeking to claim her for his own pack. Stupidstupidstupid! Leste’s your alpha, remember? She asked you to do a favor for her sister and that’s it. She worked to reason as she rung the bell marked for cleanup. Little guy’s not gonna challenge an alicorn. He’s not even a griffon so he probably has no idea what he even did.
There came a knock at the door and Talon welcomed the butler in, directing him to the mess. He cleaned up promptly after Thomas and Moonlight moved out of the way. Thanking them for their time, and they thanking him for his service, he departed.
After which, with much trepidation, Talon called Thomas to the bed proceeded to explain exactly what had just happened. As a griffon, she had a natural inclination to dominate or be dominated. This kind of thinking was instinctual and the hierarchy of the pack was a very important aspect of griffon culture. Thomas’ smaller frame left her prepared for the former. However, his threat of the villain-free story, even in the face of her taking an aggressive stance, had thrown her for a loop. Confirming her suspicion, Thomas admitted that he had no idea about the significance of what he’d done.
“Oh god,” Thomas gasped, terrified of the offense he’d unintentionally inflicted. “I didn’t mean… I’m so sor-” But he was cut off by Talon firmly placing a claw on his shoulder and fixing him with an intense glare.
“Don’t.” She said seriously. “Don’t you ever apologize for standing up for yourself and winning. That would be the real insult. If we were in Griffonstone, that’d be like winning me to your pack in a match, but saying I wasn’t worth fighting for. Got it?”
Thomas gulped and nodded cautiously, unable to think of anything to say.
“Alright then.” Talon said much more gently and released her grip. “Just so long as we understand each other. I’m not mad about the misunderstanding. In fact, I’m not ashamed to say it turned me on a little. You stood up to me and that’s something to be proud of. Got it?”
Thomas nodded, his body loosening up as he relaxed, but he was still too nervous to say anything.
And Faust damn it again. Talon scoffed. Just like that I went and undid all his confidence he’d built from earlier. Now what? As she watched Thomas lower his gaze to his knees, Talon knew she had to do something to bring her friend out of his funk. She looked up to Moonlight, who’d been sitting on Thomas’ other side and quietly observing her friends work through this misunderstanding, and a short assuring nod was just what the griffon needed to rebuild her own confidence. “Thomas,” she said softly.
Surprised at being called by his real name, Thomas turned back to the griffon, only to be scooped up in a powerful hug. His surprise vanished almost as soon as it appeared, having been replaced by the security of her strong arms and the comfort of her warm body. Relaxing into her embrace, Thomas wrapped his arms around her back and squeezed as hard as he could to let her know that all was forgiven. She squeezed right back, though not nearly as hard.
Talon savored the feel of Thomas in her arms. His body gave off a comforting warmth and his smooth skin felt really nice against her scaly claws. As she pressed the side of her face into his, inhaling his scent and feeling his heartbeat against hers, she was reminded the other part of being dominant. In addition to simply telling others what to do, being dominant also involved the trust bestowed by others in the alpha’s ability to care for them. Thomas might have had his moments, but he still had a long way to go before she’d allow him to be the designated beta of Luna’s pack. On the other claw, that just meant she had all the time in the world to enjoy the ride.
Their first fight! Moonlight squealed in her head. They fought, realized the error of their ways, remembered their feelings for one another, and now they’ve made up. Oh, I hope he’s not too different from a pony, because a real making up doesn’t stop at just a hug. With that thought, Moonlight suddenly remembered how Talon had earlier called her a third wheel and became very self-conscious about her presence in this room. Thomas and Talon were stabled together, after all. Such an outcome was only natural.
“So, Chimp.” Talon began as she pulled back from the hug but still holding onto him. She stared down into his flat face giving him an oddly youthful appearance. She’d never had much of a taste for the pretty colt type, but Thomas seemed to make it work. “Something I’ve been meaning to ask for a while.” Talon admitted.
“And that would be?”
“What’s a male human called?” When he didn’t answer right away, Talon elaborated. “Like, male ponies are stallions, minotaurs are bulls, and griffons are cocks. Folks keep calling you the human stallion, but what are you really?”
“Oh.” Thomas was taken aback by the question as this may have been the first time anyone has asked since he came here. He’d explained to the Princesses when he’d first arrived, but they still preferred to call him a stallion, which he didn’t mind, as it still felt like a compliment despite them not meaning it to be. “Well, I’d guess you’d call me a man.”
“Human man?” Talon repeated, smacking her beak as she played with the words. “What about your females?”
“We call them women.” Thomas answered. “Why the sudden curiosity?”
“Spontaneous interest in nomenclature.” Talon answered confidently. “When folks say you’re Luna’s stallion, what they should be saying is that you’re her man, right?” She asked suggestively.
Thomas gulped, suddenly becoming aware of the griffon’s rising body temperature and the unmistakable smell of arousal in the air. “Y-yeah?” He hesitated.
“So,” Talon continued, her tone laced with desire as she pelted his face with her hot breath. “Considering where we are, would it be right to say that you’re my man too?” she leaned in closer, batting her bedroom eyes at him.
Moonlight had caught the signs first, and the flaring of Talon’s wings as they moved to wrap around her stable-mate left no doubt as to what was coming. Discreetly she jumped from the bed and rushed to the bathroom, returning with an alicorn sized towel and laying it out on the floor. If this was going where she thought it was, then it just didn’t seem right to stain Princess Luna’s bed while she wasn’t even here; common courtesy and all that. “I think I’ll just go… check the perimeter.” Moonlight announced quietly as stalked as discreetly as possible to the door. Levitating her armor behind her, she dared to glance back and whisper, “Call me if you need anything.” Even if it’s for ‘that’! Unsure where that thought came from, she shook her head before stumbling outside.
Panting anxiously as the door closed behind her, Moonlight became aware of the door guards watching her curiously. She looked up to meet Lavender Crush’s eyes and admitted, “I was being a third wheel.” The door guards did not inquire further and let Moonlight change and join them in peace. As they all did their best to pretend like they weren’t trying to listen in, even though the soundproof enchantments on the door and walls rendered their efforts ultimately pointless, Moonlight was left to focus on her own feelings.
On the one hand, the mare was happy. Thomas was becoming increasingly comfortable with those around him, taking the next step in becoming a true Senior Concubine. More than that, her two close friends had found happiness in each other’s arms. It might not have been entirely romantic, but it was still happiness all the same. On the other hand, she felt the unmistakable twinge of sadness, like there was something deep down that was preventing her from being completely happy for her friends. But what?
Meanwhile…
Talon’s scent of arousal had triggered its own involuntary physical reaction in the human and she couldn’t help but smile as it poked her stomach. His lips are quivering. He wants to say something, but he has no idea what. She smiled sympathetically at his cute shyness. Guess it’s my job to- But that thought was cut short as Thomas pressed his lips into her beak. … my job to see where this goes.
As they continued making out on the edge of the bed, Talon’s claws crawled across Thomas’ back, familiarizing themselves with the expanse of his bare skin. Her tongue shot forth, knocking at his lips for entry. They welcomed her in as the soft squishy organs embraced. She tasted his lunch from earlier, but it did not overpower his natural flavor from their first kiss as she savored his little mouth and the odd texture of his pointed teeth against her tongue. She wanted more. To that end, she grabbed Thomas’ shoulders and jerked his body away, breaking the kiss. Staring at him with determination, she issued her command. “Pants. Off.”
Having never questioned such an order in this room before, Thomas saw no reason to start now as he stood and slid his shorts and loincloth off in one swift motion. Tossing the garments aside, he stood straight and let his manhood stand at attention for the lusty amazonian bird lady who was on loan from his super amazonian kinda-sorta-girlfriend/wife’s goddess ultra-amazonian sister to teach him about having sex with other ladies. How the hell did it come to this for an average guy like me? He thought as he watched the griffon’s eyes focus intently on the space below his navel. If I knew, I could probably make a fortune selling the book.
“Is someone happy to see me?” Talon asked Thomas’ penis as she fell to her knees before him. “I think he is.” She teased, bringing her claw up to gently poke where the underside of the shaft met the scrotum. Her action elicited a slight twitch from the member, as well as a whimper from its owner.
Once more, Thomas was surprised by how into it he was with Talon. He’d expected those sharp claws to render him nervously flaccid, but the way she gently stroked her two fingers along the side of his shaft was sending little jolts of pleasure through his body.
Talon brought her face in close, exhaling all over the pulsing member as she inhaled the scent of human arousal directly from the source. “Ya know, griffons sometimes call this part of the body a cock.” She informed sultrily.
“H-humans too,” Thomas stuttered.
Talon touched the top of her beak to the head, humming softly. “Yours is different from a griffon’s though,” she analyzed casually as she studied the cock. It was colored a dark shade of pink in contrast to his more peach-colored skin, unlike the dark red of a griffon or whatever the fur was of a pony. Further, the tip wasn’t barbed like a griffon’s, or flat like a pony’s. The head was oddly rounded, almost shaped like a mushroom, so she gave it an experimental lick. “Tastes different too.” She remarked with a giggle before sending her tongue in for another run, and another.
Thomas gasped as he felt Talon’s tongue assault his manhood. She kept her claws busy by using one to hold his waist in place while the other fondled his balls. One clawed finger snaked between his legs, over his taint, and hovered threateningly over his anus. “C-could we not?” He pleaded.
Talon looked up at him. He was clearly nervous. But I thought guys liked it when you pressed their butt button. She complained internally. She’d wanted to taste his seed, and a push of the butt button was her best bet. Oh well. Talon knew her mouth was unlike a pony’s, which seemed designed for oral sex. Male griffons were usually fine with it, but it usually took a while for stallions to get used to a griffon’s mouth. However, that was time she didn’t have. This was her first time bucking a human and she wanted to make it memorable. “So, uh…” Smooth.
“Y-yeah?” Thomas asked through bated breath.
“Y-ya think you could do to me what you did for Luna the other night; ya know, with your mouth?”
With a determined nod, Thomas motioned for towel on the floor. She followed his lead, but not before grabbing a pillow and positioning herself so that she was on all fours with the pillow sitting ready below her head. The towel was soft and well cushioned, but she had no way of knowing how rough things might get and it always paid to take precautions. Hearing his footsteps as he approached across the floor, Talon made sure to straighten her posture and widen her legs. Of its own accord, her tail had already risen and was now twitching anxiously against her outer left thigh. A cock, er, man is getting ready to mount you… with his mouth. *Gulp* The least you can do is accept it with the honor and pride your kind is known for. Just wait till he enters and he’s all yours. Now buck up and take it like a- “Ahhh!” She squeaked as Thomas gently set his fingers barely a centimeter from her moist lips.
At least this part is familiar. Thomas thought as he stared at Talon’s most private area. Her buttocks were lightly furred, but her vagina and anus were completely hairless, just like Luna’s. Her pink puckered tail hole looked rather cute between her fuzzy red buns, but the real treat lay just below. The sound of dripping caught his attention and his eyes fell upon the small puddle growing between the griffon’s knees. Smirking, he said, “Looks like I’m not the only one who’s happy to be here.”
“Oh shut up, already!” Talon barked, surprising Thomas with her volume. “A real cock would have flipped me over and stuck it in like ten minutes ago. What the hay are you even-haaaaaah!” She groaned as Thomas gently stroked his thumb across her lips.
“Oh my,” Thomas said in his best impression of George Takei. “Were you not expecting me to do that?” His answer was a low panting. “How about… this?” He grinned as he gently inserted his middle finger between her folds. “What about… this?” Her moist opening briefly tensed, but soon relaxed to welcome in a second finger as Thomas twirled the appendage around, experimenting with the reactions his movements induced in the griffon. “Has no one ever really done this for you?” He asked with genuine concern.
“Mares do,” Talon panted, regaining her posture in a bid to maintain her dignity. Stupid jerk! Stop moving around back there while asking me... She whimpered in ecstasy. What were we talking about? Oh yeah. “Wrens do too. It’s… a female thing, I guess.”
“Really?” Thomas asked with comically exaggerated shock as he pistoned his fingers in an out of her slick insides. “If that’s true, then how do you account for this?” Thomas gave no further warning as he removed his fingers and pressed his lips firmly against hers.
Talon growled in her throat as she felt Thomas’ lips move like they were spelling the alphabet or something. I just can’t figure this kid out. One minute he's a meek sub ready to let me have my way with him; the next he has me at his mercy while he... She blinked as her mind rebooted to process what just happened. And now his tongue’s in there too. Talon grunted as her innards were probed by this human’s tiny mouth and tongue. It was hard not to imagine that she’d somehow coerced a young colt to eat her out, but the idea of the taboo just drove her wilder until finally she clenched her buttocks around his face and let loose a flood of her love juices.
Cherry. Thomas thought as he lapped up her climax. Sweet and sugary, like the icies I used to get when I was little. The fond memory drove him to drink up as much as he could. Eventually it proved too much and he had to pull back, letting the rest fall to the towel below. Desiring to see the face of the griffon he’d just brought to orgasm, Thomas peaked around her side, but was disappointed to find her face buried into the pillow, which he just realized was muffling her screams. Though he wished he could have seen Talon’s face as she climaxed, he tapped her flank gently, beckoning her to look up.
It had hit her like Celestia’s flank that one time their wresting match got out of hand. She had just been mouth-bucked by a male who, though he was an adult, had deceptively child-like features like something out of a hardcore porn (particularly in the fetish subsection in most libraries). It was just too dirty, and Talon loved every bit of it. Feeling the tap on her flank, she pulled herself up and turned to face him. “Yeah?” She wheezed, coughing to clear her throat.
“Ready for round two?” He asked with confident casualness.
“Tired of round one already?” Talon challenged. She still had her pride, after all.
Thomas narrowed his eyes at the griffon. “If that’s how you’re gonna be,” he started. Keeping his one hand on her flank, he moved the other to just below her knee on the opposite side and pushed until she was completely flipped over. Of course he knew that she’d let him do so, but the look of surprise on her face still gave him such delight. “Then we’re doing it human-style.” He stated matter-of-factly as positioned the head of his dick at her drenched entrance, but paused to meet her gaze.
Talon propped herself up on her elbows to help take the pressure off her wings. It had been a while since she’d had dolphin style sex, especially with her on bottom, but her wings wouldn’t be able to take the pressure off the floor, even with the special towel. Curling the side of her beak up in an eager smirk, she let out a low purr. “Well? Don’t just sit there like an idiot. Cock up and rut me already!”
It was a good thing the room was soundproof, or else that shout could have probably been heard in the solar wing. Regardless, taking her subtle and eloquent signals as consent, Thomas slammed into her griffon pussy, burying himself all the way to the hilt, causing her to scream her delight with a flurry of swears. Briefly surprised by the ease with which he entered, Thomas reasoned that he’d used too much force and forgotten that females in general were just really big down there. Still, that did nothing to lessen the bliss of burying himself into such a fine piece of tail.
Talon moaned at the sudden intrusion, but quickly recovered when she realized her lover wasn’t moving. “What’d I just say, you bucking hatchling?” Talon snarled. “Use that stallion meat and rut me already!”
“Yes ma’am.” Thomas nodded. He pulled out until only the head remained safely enclosed in her moist tunnel, only to slam back as hard as before with a sloshing sound, his balls slapping against her backside. He repeated the motion until he found a good rhythm with Talon bucking her hips in tandem with his.
“Oh buck yeah!” He was the smallest she’d ever had, but the high from the earlier mouth-bucking left her barely able to even notice as she hugged his entire length with her cunny. He’s small, like I really am bucking a little chick or something. This is really weird, but in a really good way. “That’s it, you dirty colt.” She growled, not caring how her word choice showed how long she’d been living with ponies. “Buck this wren’s cunt till she can’t walk straight!”
“I’ll buck the wren’s cunt till she can’t fly straight!” Thomas declared. Pausing mid insertion, he snuck his arms under her legs and pulled them straight up until her ankles were over his shoulder. With her now held over his folded knees, he grabbed her waist to hold her in place. The whole time he was grinning sinisterly at the power he now held over her.
Talon’s heart was about ready to beat from her chest. She’d never had sex like this before. However, in these last couple months, Celestia had had an amazing creativity streak, coming up with all kinds of fancy positions her lovers had never even imagined. “W-when’d you learn something like this?” She asked, piecing together what she had and concluded Celestia must have given him some pointers.
“Read about it on the internet.” Thomas said smugly.
A net? How do you read something on a net? “Th-think you can show me this net some time?” She asked with bated breath.
“Hmm,” Thomas pretended to consider. “Only if you’re a good little bitch and tell me how much you like it.” And he resumed his thrusting. In no time at all he found an oddly rough patch deep within her pussy and knew he’d struck gold.
Talon howled out in joy as Thomas’ dick brushed her g-spot, their new position somehow allowing him to push even deeper inside her. The burning friction of his dick was driving her wild, but then she remembered their deal. “Oh! Oh yes. I’m a bitch.” She was too caught up in the moment to wonder why he wanted to call her a female dog, but whatever. “I’m a horny little bitch who loves human cock in her cunt. Give this bitch what she needs. Fill me up with your seed. Paint my bitch cunt white!”
“White paint it is!” Thomas vowed as continued thrusting in and out until he’d lost all rhythm. He was just fucking wildly with no clear goal except to bring them both over the edge.
“C-close,” she warned.
Happy to hear, Thomas slammed into her with reckless abandon until her pussy clenched tight and held him in place.
“Gaaaaaah!” Talon cried out as her love juices flowed forth all over Thomas’ lap. She’d lost all feeling in her arms and fell to the ground with a soft thud. Her wings hurt a little, but she barely noticed through the bliss of her orgasm.
Seeing Talon’s face twisted in such pleasure, Thomas was pushed over the edge and released his load into the griffon’s twitching cunt. His back gave out and, after letting her legs flop to the floor on either side of him, allowed himself to collapse onto her body. Her breasts made a very soft and convenient pillow.
Catching her breath, Talon looked down at the half-conscious human resting on her breasts with tender eyes. She wrapped on claw around his back and used her other to gently stroke his hair. “Hey there, little guy,” she cooed softly.
It took most of what little strength he had left, but Thomas managed to turn his head against the soft boob flesh until he was staring into Talon’s face. He studied her expression carefully. She was smiling, but it wasn’t one of pride, anger, humor, or any of the other faces he’d become used to. Rather, the look she now gave him more closely matched how Luna usually looked when they were in this position. And then it just slipped out. “Love you.”
Talon blinked, eyes widening a bit in mild surprise.
Oh-shit-oh-shit-oh-shit! Thomas panicked. Did I really just say that? Ah man. How’s she gonna react? I mean, she’s had sex with a bunch of people. She’s got to have said stupid things post-orgasm before, right? It’s not like she’s-
“Love ya too.” Talon said softly. “Even if ya are a puny hairless monkey.”
Huh… Well that could have been worse. Thomas remarked to himself as he let his face sink back into her silken orbs. Ya know, maybe this sex-with-a-bunch-of-ladies thing won’t be as hard as I thought.
**********
Suffice to say when Luna returned from Night Court, the smell of her lovers’ deeds leaving no room for doubt, she damn near suffocated the two of them against her breasts as she hugged them. That accomplished, and after lauding the both of them with praise for doing what she knew they could, the Princess of the Night demanded every last detail of everything that lead up to the pivotal moment. Thankfully Thomas was spared having to reenact the story of Robin Hood again, though she made him promise to tell her later with how excited it made Talon. With much mirth, Luna also clarified that Thomas was the source of the exotic positions and that Celestia had learned from her sister’s descriptions. Thomas’ shock at the utter lack of privacy was largely ignored, and then forgotten when Luna shot him a look imploring for him to try something new later. Talon’s report did have one glaring flaw which troubled the alicorn deeply. Upon learning that the poor griffon never got to find out what human seed tasted like, Luna gave them both energy drinks and promptly corrected this grievous error.
As for Moonlight, she was eventually allowed to come back in after the pair had cleaned and dressed themselves. And while they tried to resume friendly chatter, Thomas even volunteering to tell another story, the poor mare found she just couldn’t handle the smell. It wasn’t trash-bin-outside-an-animal-shelter bad, but more like freshly-baked-doughnuts-glistening-with-glaze-in-the-window-as-they-cruelly-condemn-you-for-being-on-a-diet bad. It didn’t help that one of the first things Talon did was describe in graphic detail what she and Thomas had done, much to the human’s dismay. She eventually stopped at Thomas’ request, but the damage had already been done. In any case, Moonlight kept her armor on until she was relieved of duty. Then she went back to her room and did other things to relieve herself.
Overall, very little had changed between Thomas and Talon. He pushed back a little more when she pushed him aside for space in the bathroom. She swore a little more when they were in private. It still felt a little weird for either of them to say “I love you,” but a quick peck on the cheek seemed to work just as well. The daily routine had begun in earnest with family breakfast and cooking lessons; which had been slowly gaining a lot of popularity around the castle as a noticeable number of staff found excuses to walk past the kitchens for a chance at a glimpse inside. The group then went their separate ways with Luna heading for the throne room and Thomas and company heading for the gym.
Thomas had been working up quite a sweat on the weights, especially after Talon threatened to sit on him if he didn’t meet her required reps. The novelty of the foreigner’s presence had largely worn off and many of the other ponies present welcomed him warmly, though the ways their eyes wandered left him wondering exactly how warmly. Thankfully Moonlight was there to ward off any who stared too long. All the while they chatted away about the normal stuff you’d expect at a gym.
“And these… com-puu-ters,” Talon sounded out as she watched the human swing his practice sword, “don’t run on any magic?”
“That’s right,” Thomas panted as he took a step back on the training mat. The practice sword was heavy, a lot heavier than the bokken, but he didn’t complain. He knew this was all part of the training to make him stronger. It helped to picture himself as the player character in a video game and this was all just a part of the grinding needed to level up “Hah!” He huffed as he lunged forward.
“But they still let you look up whatever you want whenever you want it?”
“More or less,” Thomas nodded, taking another swing.
“And you can find porn on this net?” Talon asked eagerly.
Thomas counted off the last of his hundred swings and let his sword arm fall limp to his side. Panting, he smiled back at his buck buddy. “I don’t know the exact numbers, but I think at least 30% of the internet’s content is made of porn material.” He explained as they went to put away the practice sword.
Talon was too slack jawed to speak, so Moonlight took her turn. “And this includes instructions on what you two did while I was gone?” *Gulp* “The ankle thing?”
Thomas blushed with embarrassment at having Moonlight bring it up in such a private place. It had been bad enough last night when Talon just blurted it out to the mare the instant she walked back in the room. She just kept gushing on about how it made her felt to try such a new and exciting position, all the while seeming to pretend like Thomas wasn’t even there. Thankfully, with Luna’s encouragement to spare him the embarrassment and assurances that her sister already knew and just hadn’t gotten around to trying these positions out yet, the griffon kept her beak shut at breakfast.
“Chimp,” Talon called warningly. “What else did this net teach you?”
“I… um…” Thomas stuttered. “It was just kind of a spur of the moment thing.” He chuckled meekly. “It’s not like I planned it or-” He was cut off by the griffon placing a finger over his lips.
“That’s not what I asked,” she said with gentle sternness, pulling her claw back. “I want to know what else this net taught you about exotic sexual positions.”
“D-do we really have to talk about this here?” Thomas whined. “Ponies are listening.” He glanced over to a stallion who’d been glaring at them curiously for some time. Others were more discrete, having only turned an ear their direction while pretending to have their focus on their respective workouts.
“I bet they are.” Talon agreed as she casually looked around at all the ponies in earshot. Not one looked away in embarrassment at having been caught eavesdropping. “It’s not every day you find out the mysterious stranger from another land brought with him a whole host of exotic techniques that are virtually unheard of in these parts.” She added that last part with a knowing smirk.
“Would you stop that!?” Thomas said with a forced whisper. “You’re embarrassing me.”
Talon tilted her head in confusion. “Embarrass? Is this that silly human modesty thing again?”
“It’s not silly.” Moonlight said, stomping her hoof down lightly. “It’s one of his people’s traditions. As a foreigner yourself, I would have thought at least you would-”
“Fine. Fine.” Talon waved her claw in annoyance. “We won’t talk about it here, but we are going to have a talk. Got it?”
Thomas gave a relenting sigh. “I suppose that’s fair.”
“You bet your tiny plot it is.” Talon nodded firmly. “Now hurry up. We’ve got three more machines to get through before we gotta shower off. Moonbutt’s break’s in just a little bit.”
As the prophecy foretold, so it came to pass that Thomas and Talon were called to Luna’s aid the instant they exited the shower. Even dry, Thomas rubbed his arms at the increasing chill of the autumn air. However, the Princess of the Night, upon smelling their residual sweat, informed them that it turned her on and that they should save the shower until after their real workout. At Talon’s urging, Luna cast a memory retrieval spell on Thomas and they tried out one of the positions he’d seen online. When it was over, much to his chagrin, Talon immediately told Moonlight everything.
“It’s called the eagle,” Talon informed eagerly, but at a whisper as they walked down the castle corridors. It was hard to tell whether she was still coming down from her orgasmic high, or if she was just tickled by the name. “What you do is the guy lays the mare down on her back, holding her legs up and out while he enters.” She explained with giddy excitement. “I know it might not sound that complex, but when he enters, boy does the mare let you know.”
Moonlight was torn. On the one hand, it was grossly inappropriate to talk about the Princess’ sex life, even if she wasn’t being mentioned by name. On the other, because the name wasn’t mentioned, it technically wasn’t breaking the rules and Moonlight really wanted to know why this hypothetical male of nondescript race was doing with this hypothetical mare of nondescript tribe.
Still embarrassed, Thomas thought back to Luna’s earlier explanation that ponies were more open about intercourse, and concluded that this was just another thing he’d have to get used to. “So… you really don’t know any of these positions?” It seemed a reasonable question. “I mean, if ponies are so open about sex, surely you’d have been free to experiment with all kinds of kinky positions that would put the human ones to shame, right?”
“I…” Moonlight gulped before continuing. “I think this might be human imagination again.” She offered humbly. “Sex is just,” she paused to find the right words, “just a normal part of life. It is what it is and I guess no pony ever put much thought into making it anything more.”
Thomas considered Moonlight’s words thoughtfully. “Equestria’s been ruled pretty stably by the Princesses for some thousands of years now, right?” They nodded. “But human empires keep rising and falling almost all the time. Maybe that constant change made us evolve to be more creative and adaptable?”
“That might make sense.” Talon nodded. “Maybe if… wait. Empires?”
Thomas froze, realizing what he’d just let slip.
“So human tribes have united like the ponies have?”
Thomas let out a short exhale of relief. “Not even close.” He shook his head in honest shame at yet another area where ponies seemed to have humans beat. “Our ‘tribes’ have never fully gotten along. Allies can become enemies almost overnight. The people have made honest tries at getting along, live and let live and all that. And while there are a lot of legitimate grievances, most of its just that the ruling classes keep contriving conflict and pitting us against each other.”
“Why haven’t you overthrown that system yet?” Moonlight asked with mild disgust.
“We do, like all the time.” Thomas explained. “My country was formed because we didn’t like the way we didn’t have a say in how we were taxed, so we had a revolution and formed a whole separate government.”
Talon blinked curiously. “So… how many human countries are there?”
This is getting way too close to home, literally. “More than a hundred, the last time I checked.” Thomas warily looked between his friends, worried they’d keep pressing until he had no choice but to reveal the truth. It felt terrible to lie to them like this, but the Princesses wouldn’t have told him to do so unless there was a good reason.
He’s nervous. Talon thought. A quick glance at Moonlight showed the mare had picked up on it as well. He’s hiding something, something about his homeland that he’s afraid to tell us. “Whatever,” Talon shrugged. “This political stuff is boring me. Personally I want to hear more about the fun things you humans come up with.” She smiled at Moonlight and then at Thomas. Leste told me not to press you on this stuff, so I won’t. I don’t like keeping secrets like this, but then I’m not really one to judge at the moment. She reflected shamefully. We’ll tell each other when we’re ready. I only hope we can forgive each other when that time comes.
So they continued on, taking Talon’s advice and focusing on the fun things humans had come up with. Neither lady really understood the obsession with kittens, but they were very tickled when Thomas started singing ‘The Internet is for Porn’. Talon continued leading the way until they arrived at the royal library. The others followed her in, sitting at one of the corner tables at her direction while she went off and returned with a small hardcover book. The cover read ‘A Guide to the Processes of Intercourse: Volume Eight’ by The Canterlot Institute of Science.
“This here,” Talon began as she set the book on the table between them, “is basically the sum total of what your average pony knows about sex.” She opened the book and began flipping through the pages. “The first few chapters are all about proper mounting technique, what ponies consider attractive, yada yada. You should probably read it some time, but let’s… get… to… here!” She dropped the book back on the table and pointed at the title. ‘Part 7: Alternative Sexual Positions’. “Check these out.”
Glancing at Moonlight to find the mare had no obvious signs of trepidation; Thomas did as directed as he flipped through the book. The beginning of each section had a picture that took up half the page illustrating ponies in a new position, followed by the title of the position, and a page and a half of describing how the position worked and what it was capable of. Focusing mostly on the pictures, it was by the fourth section that Thomas began to see what Talon had been alluding to. They were all pictures of ponies doing it doggy style, what they called ‘basic mounting’, where the only difference was the angle of the stallion’s back while he mounted the mare or other stallion. And so it went with the remaining fifty four sections. There were a few classics like the 69 position, but that included the line that it was generally only done between lovers of the same sex. Some showed a little creativity with the centipede of stallions in a line up, but that was the end of depictions of anything more than a twosome. In fact, pretty much all the rest was just variations of a male taking his partner from behind and then breaking that up into subdivisions as if just to make filler, with only occasional suggestions for ways a third party could help out. Second to last was called dolphin style, and though it was just plain old missionary, it was actually described as among the most erotic for the unique way it allowed partners to gaze into each other’s faces. The final section informed that the art of intercourse was an ever-evolving science and that these positions had been accumulated over the course of generations and that it was unlikely there’d be many more options any time soon.
“Huh,” Thomas huffed unremarkably.
Even Moonlight was unimpressed with this list as it included none of the things she and her freiends had discussed. “Hold on a sec. When was this written?” She reached across and, using her thumb to hold the page, checked the publication date. “That’s almost fifty years ago!” She exclaimed, only to be hushed by a nearby librarian shelving some books. “Excuse me.” Moonlight addressed the librarian with a more appropriate volume. “But do you have any more up-to-date copies?” She held up the book for emphasis.
The librarian adjusted her glasses and inspected the book. “I’m afraid that’s the latest copy out there,” she informed neutrally. “Why do you ask?”
“It just seems like they’ve left out a lot in the sexual positions category.” Moonlight explained thoughtfully, but with a bit of pride at apparently knowing more than the book’s author. “What about the stallion turning his penis around, or a mare sitting in her stallion’s lap while she mounts him?”
It’s like she’s explaining how her menu was misspelled. Thomas analyzed.
“Mares can’t mount stallions.” The librarian said with a dismissive smile. “What a silly notion.” And she departed, leaving all three with a deeper understanding on the nature of intercourse in Equestria.
“Smarty.” Talon said in a way that meant business. “Did you bring a copy of your book with you tonight?”
“I actually left it at my desk last night. Why?”
“Good.” Talon smiled slyly, tapping the tips of her claws together in a way reminiscent of Mr. Burns. “Because when we get back there, the two of you are going to sit your plots down and put this second rate piece of garbage,” she swatted at the book in front of them, “to shame.”
“Um,” Thomas interjected worriedly. “Couldn’t we just, maybe write the authors a letter; let them know they need to update?”
“There was no author,” Talon said, pointing below the title. “An Institute made this. You know what that means?” She didn’t wait for them to reply. “It means this book is the product of a team of spoiled rich foals who got expensive degrees and who only do just barely enough work to justify not getting real jobs.”
“You don’t like academics, do you?” Thomas asked.
“Egg heads who do real research are just fine,” Talon said with a huff before opening the cover and pointing out the three pages of the names of ponies who worked on this book. “But you don’t have this many guys working on something that can’t even update every half century if it’s something legit.”
“I…” Thomas began. “I can’t argue that.”
“Damn skippy, you can’t.”
“Language!” Moonlight whispered her scolding.
“Point is, nothing short of a letter from the Princesses is gonna get that bunch of bums off their lazy flanks. And even if it did, I don’t think they really deserve the credit for your ideas.”
“Well, strictly speaking, they’re not really my ideas.” Thomas countered meekly.
“Strictly speaking, if you’re the first one to say them, the masses will just tribute the idea to you anyway.” Talon informed. “And Smarty. How’d you like your little western to not only be engaging and stimulating, but also informative, something ponies tell their friends they just gotta read because it has all these amazing new ideas in it?”
Moonlight felt her mouth go dry as she imagined those very words coming out of potential readers. “That’d literally be a writer’s dream come true.” She squealed in excitement. I’d probably be in the running for at least six awards, and that’s just in the division of young first time authors. My book’d be featured in all the biggest magazines, put on who knows how many reading lists and all because of... She looked back at Thomas who’d been smiling at how happy she was. His ideas. That thought lingered in her mind and made her heart sink.
“Something the matter?” Thomas inquired of the suddenly sullen unicorn.
“If I did this, I’d essentially be profiting off of somepony else’s idea, your ideas,” Moonlight informed mournfully. “It wouldn’t be right.”
Thomas looked back at her thoughtfully and smiled. “Didn’t you say, back at the start, that you wanted us to write this thing together?” He reminded the unicorn. “And with how much I’ve already been helping out, why not just put me down as the co-author?”
“Co-author?” The word echoed in Moonlight’s mind, making her body feel all tingly. His logic is sound in that he has been contributing a lot. In fact, it’s entirely thanks to him that I’ve manage to double in a few weeks what had taken me years to get this far. If anything, I should probably be the co-author here, but he’s still letting me take the lead. Moonlight sniffled, the emotions currently welling up were getting too much for her to handle. “I… I…” she strained to say, but no more words followed. Instead she just lunged for the little guy and wrapped him up in a tight hug, though still mindful not to crush him against her armor.
Ignoring the chill of the metal plating against his bare chest, Thomas reciprocated as he said a silent thanks to Luna for the spell that helped protect him from such temperature extremes. When the hug broke, and after he scratched the back of his wrist, Thomas asked the first thing to come to mind. “Did we ever settle on a title?”
**********
“Hmm,” a lone orange unicorn hummed to himself as he leaned against a nearby book shelf, his nose buried deep in a copy of ‘Mythological Creatures and You’. As he’d expected, the passages on humans were downright pathetic as they were described as only coming up to a pony’s knees, yet a few pages later were said to be taller than the Princesses. He laughed to himself as he peered over his shoulder through a crack in the books at the human sitting a few feet away. The things the living myth was saying were more interesting than this dusty old tome anyway, but he still pretended to read while leaning against the book shelf.
**********
Broken from her internal revelry, Moonlight’s expression turned to consideration. “No. Hmm. It has to be something catchy, but also lets the reader know what they’re getting into.”
No duh. Thomas thought, but decided she was in too good a mood to say something so mean. “Two mares and a stallion coming together to thwart the bandits and save the gold,” he stated plainly. “Unless you’re thinking we change it again?”
“No. That’s about right for now.” Moonlight agreed. “It was originally supposed to focus on the adventure, but I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to throw in a few more sex scenes here and there.”
“Lotus Blossom!” Thomas blurted, only to be shushed by that same librarian from earlier.
“What do you mean?” Moonlight asked.
“Remember that scene where Gold Chaser and Sure Prospects get left for dead in the desert, only to stumble on an oasis?” Thomas began. “Gold Chaser gives Sure Prospects a flower from the lake. Well, what if the flower was a lotus blossom? Which, as it so happens, is the name of a sex position I didn’t see in that Guide.”
Moonlight nodded with cautious optimism. “Sounds good so far, but…”
“But?” Thomas repeated.
“What do you do in a lotus blossom?” Talon finished the question, leaning forward and propping her chin up as she set her elbows on the table, grinning lasciviously.
Thomas chuckled. “Well, after coming so close to death, this is where Gold and Sure come to realize they can’t stand to lose one another. So…” he paused dramatically, loving the way the two females leaned in with almost desperate curiosity. “Rather than flipping her over and rutting like animals, we instead get something a bit more intimate. Gold starts by sitting down cross legged, and then Sure, while facing him” he emphasized, “sits down in his lap. She wraps her legs around his back while he holds her butt to help move her arounds. It’s basically sex where hugging is part of the function.”
“Lotus Blossom,” Moonlight said with hushed breath, afraid that speaking the word too loud might frighten it off. “I love it.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, here,” Talon cautioned. “I mean, this stuff might be all well and good for humans, but there’s no way of knowing how it’ll work for Equestrians, not without proper testing.” The griffon held her ground while the others stared daggers back at her. “In the name of science, of course.” She added.
“Then in the name of science,” Thomas began daringly. “How about I try it out with Luna and you can watch from the sidelines. Participation would compromise the credibility of the study, after all.” He smirked, readying himself for her to realize what she’d locked herself into.
Talon tapped the bottom of her beak thoughtfully. “So you want me to watch very intently as you and Moonbutt hump yourselves to exhaustion? I’m good with that.”
**********
As the orange stallion watched the trio depart, he shook his head in amusement at how excited they were over this little idea. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little curious to see how this book turned out as well, but he had a mission to complete.
“Excuse me.” A librarian chided as she walked up to him. “Excuse me, but you’re not allowed to lean against the book sh-oh…” she paused upon spying the stallion’s missing right arm.
The stallion offered the librarian a friendly smile and snapped the book shut. “My apologies, Miss. Just got a little caught up in some good reading.” He held out the book for emphasis. “Did you know that humares,” he deliberately mispronounced, “are supposed to have magic that can rival the old unicorn sages?”
The librarian mare was clearly uncomfortable as she glanced between the book and the stallion’s missing arm. “I-I see.” She nodded absentmindedly, clearly not paying attention to his words. “I… sorry, but what was your name, again?”
The stallion shrugged casually. “Most folks call me Firestorm. Why?”
“Oh, uh, no reason,” the flustered mare stuttered. “W-will you be checking out this copy of…”
“No need.” Firestorm cut her off as he shelved the book. “Got everything I need from it already. Besides, I need to get back to work.” He explained coolly as he walked past the mare, playfully slapping her rump with his fire shaped brown tail. He could practically feel her blush as she stared as his departing form, but decided to put her on hold for later. After all, he really did have a job to do.
**********
Sure enough, the next time they were summoned to Luna, they shared their idea for both the book and the experiment. The Princess couldn’t say yes fast enough. While it would have been impossible to perform the lotus blossom in the traditional sense, Luna improvised by reversing their roles such that her hands were on his butt the entire time, no doubt to her pleasure as she goosed him more than once. However, upon seeing Talon poke her head out from behind Luna, apparently playing with her wings, he became more than a little curious about the source of the scribbling sound from behind him. With mounting dread, Thomas slowly turned his head to meet his observer face to face. Attentive Eye barely even looked up, never ceasing as she recorded everything she saw down to the last detail of, as he would later find out, the pressure with which Luna used to grip his buttocks.
It had been a rather anxious night for Thomas and company. He had rather enjoyed their usual routine, unlike Talon who kept mumbling about a desire to shake things up. However, a source of worry for both of them had been when they were called to Luna for her ‘release’ of stress. The first two trips went swimmingly, but during their third summons the Princess had seemed a bit off. She barely said a word in greeting as she simply ordered them straight to their positions. The act itself also seemed notably more angry than usual. Things only seemed worse when she called them in for an unusual fourth visit. Worse yet, she wouldn’t give an explanation why.
At Talon’s suggestion, Moonlight had already been dismissed. She didn’t need to be present for what Talon described as the less well known aspect of concubine duties. As they sat alone in Luna’s chambers, having only eaten a small snack in place of dinner as Luna’s foul mood had soured their appetite; neither could bring themselves to speak. Thomas tried to read, but found he’d barely made down the first page as his mind was too preoccupied with imagining what could have happened to his beloved.
The door was slowly pushed open as Luna entered the room. She said not a word in greeting as she quickly disrobed and levitated her regalia and clothing to its respective locations. When they saw her smiling a smile that didn’t look quite right, both concubines exchanged worried looks. Once she was fully nude and the enchantment removed from her mane and tail, Luna unceremoniously dropped to the bed. The springs audibly strained under her weight as she shielded her eyes with her hand and let out a long sigh.
“Luna,” Thomas almost squeaked as he cautiously approached around the side of the bed. When the mare gave no response, he glanced back at the griffon following close behind him who gave an encouraging nod. “Luna.” He said with a bit more volume.
“What do you want?” Luna grumbled with a sneer, still shielding her eyes.
“Luna,” Thomas began nervously. Back on his old Earth, almost a lifetime ago, he would normally flee to another room when his parents got like this and just play video games until they calmed down. And while he did feel the compulsion, he held fast to his resolve and just kept walking until he was directly beside the much larger and more powerful goddess. “I’m here for you.” He said gently. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”
“Why?” Luna asked drearily. “Why art thou here?”
Uh oh. Old timey talk. This must be really bad. Thomas gulped, uncertain what he was really being asked. “B-because I want to.”
“Is that so?” Luna finally uncovered her eyes and turned a leering glare at the human, causing him to freeze in fear under her icy stare. However, her glare soon shifted to the griffon. “We know why thou art here.” She said accusingly. “Thou servith the glorious sun to keep an eye on we, her troublesome younger sibling.”
Talon didn’t answer, certain this was not the time to argue.
“But Thomas…” Luna trailed off. “Tiny little foreigner. Why art thou here? Hmm. Why wouldst thou prefer to stand in these darkened hallways when the glory of the solar wing just sits there, waiting for the plebeians to bask in its warmth?”
“B-because I think purple’s prettier?” Thomas joked. It just popped in his head, and he knew it was a risk, but he still hoped against hope that it might be enough to lighten the mood.
“BAH-HAHAHAHA!” Luna bellowed a deep belly laugh in the Royal Canterlot Voice, causing the very furniture to shake with its force. “Is that so?” Luna eventually asked, wiping a tear from her eye.
Alright. Thomas thought as he smiled confidently. If that worked, maybe she’ll go for a second. “Also, insert joke about the superiority of the royal moon.”
Though Luna’s chambers were enchanted to be sound proof, it appears no one had quite accounted for the powerful vibrations of her latest guffaw that shook the armor and even teeth of the guards standing outside. Talon rushed about the room trying to save as many breakables from vibrating off their stands and onto the floor. Even if he had the reflexes to help, Thomas was too busy being brought to his knees by the earth shattering tones. His very bones rattled with the level of force he was fairly certain was used to train astronauts. If he still had fillings, they would no doubt vibrate right out of his teeth. Thankfully, the universe hadn’t decided to kill the human by having a sexy moon goddess laugh his insides to paste. Instead, his suffering would be drawn out as Luna’s volume petered out and she regained her breath. While Talon set the breakables aside and assured the guards at the door that they weren’t under attack, Luna turned a grateful smile on the human.
“Thank you, dearest Thomas.”
As the echoes of her great horselaugh (because that really is a synonym) faded from his body, Thomas eventually felt confident enough to stand. Once at his full height, he found his beloved with arms stretched out wide, beckoning him forward. Reflex took hold and Thomas eagerly jumped into Luna’s embrace. His diminutive torso submerged between her massive breasts, giving him a full body hug while he could barely wrap his arms beneath her glorious orbs. He barely even noticed the arms wrapped tightly around his waist or the wings crossing behind him and sealing him in a dome of darkness. All that mattered to him at that moment was the soothing tone of Luna’s heartbeat, the sleep-inducing comfort of her soft warm fur, and the gentle hum of her voice as nuzzled the top of his head.
Noticing, Talon stepped out and quietly shut the door behind her. While the guards still looked worried, she let out a contented sigh and mumbled, “Go get ‘er, little buddy.”
It took a few minutes, but Luna eventually loosened her grip on her tiny lover and allowed him to see the light once more. She briefly got to enjoy his smile before it turned to a look of horror as he saw the tears falling from her eyes. While her reflex was to dry them, hide away her pain, the look of determination in the human’s eyes reminded her that she wasn’t supposed to do that anymore, not after the last time. “T-Thomas.” She sniffled.
“Luna.”
“If… if things had been different; if you had appeared in Tia’s room instead of mine…” Luna grimaced. “Do you think… do you think you would…” But she looked away, unable to bring herself to finish. Rationally she knew why this scenario was preposterous, but she still needed to ask.
“Still be the luckiest human in Equestria?” Thomas finished for her, smiling as she turned back to him with surprise. “I honestly couldn’t imagine any place I’d rather be than right here.” He said, emphasizing his point by pressing under her breasts and causing her to squeak. “Why?” He inquired much more seriously.
“D-do you think my return has caused more harm than good?” Luna asked with a grim hope.
Thomas’ worry slowly shifted to anger as the source of Luna’s distress unfolded. “Who the fuck said that?” What piece of shit would even make you ask that? Thomas wondered as his mind played out scenarios of what he’d do upon meeting anyone who would upset Luna like this.
Luna had a brief snicker at his foreign word, but continued her explanation. She told of how at this evening’s night court, while everything had begun as smoothly and dully as she had become used to, things took a turn when a mare, by the name of Duchess Perfect Measure, voiced how the very establishment of the night court, along with new evening hours across the city, had caused massive disruptions across all Equestria. When countered with the argument of the economic boom of stores running longer hours, the mare argued how the boom had been grossly exaggerated and that they had already begun to see a decline, completely counterbalancing any benefits that might have been seen.
It hadn’t taken long before the throne room had balkanized. So many were shouting grievances that they’d apparently been holding back on because they’d felt intimidated. Some argued the how the new operational hours had caused many businesses to go under. Others claimed that the influx of bat ponies to the city had caused an increase in crime rates. This caused the bat ponies present to start a contest to see who could shout the worst obscenities the loudest. Luna tried to maintain order, backed by many of the city’s more reasonable leaders and their own statistics talking about the positives of the new night hours. However, that only encouraged the various grievance factions to rally behind Perfect Measure as she came up with her own statistics that made her side look equally legitimate. And all of this before Thomas and Talon’s third summons.
After they returned from a short recess, things resumed with a bit more civility. Attentive Eye confirmed what Luna had suspected, that this was all a power play. As Fancy Pants pointed out, while an unsettling number of business had gone under in these last few months, they had only done so because they refused the extended operating hours and the hiring of additional ponies to compensate. The stallion went on to suggest that all of these failing businesses, coincidentally, were members or associates of the Measure Association. Attentive Eye whispered her agreement with Fancy Pants that this, along with many of the other mentioned problems, could all be traced back to ponies like Perfect Measure, of whom there were sadly many, who refused to get with the times.
It all came to a head when Perfect Measure proposed a new initiative, one her Association would help draft, to pull back the extended operating hours, exert limitations on where bat pony would be allowed to live within the city limits, and a whole host of things with the stated intent of ultimately disbanding the night court and all the problems it has caused. And as if to add insult to injury, Perfect Measure concluded by saying it was time they returned to the stability that Equestria had prospered under when they had only one Princess. The proposal failed to accumulate the needed votes, but only barely. That was when Luna summoned her concubines a fourth time. But the worst part of all came immediately after, when ponies, many of whom had been on Luna’s side just a few minutes ago, mumbled amongst themselves about how they should have known Nightmare Moon was still finding ways to cause trouble.
Thomas was shaking with anger in Luna’s grasp. “You can’t actually believe that crap she was spewing,” Thomas insisted. “Like you, Attentive, and Fancy all said, this was clearly a power play. She’s playing off their fears of stuff they don’t understand.”
“And she does it quite well,” Luna said sullenly. “The evidence she put forth was difficult to deny. And the way so many rallied behind her, we had no idea our return would cause such… perhaps t’would have been better if we had simply resigned ourselves to the background.”
“Shut up!” Thomas barked, causing Luna to flinch. “I won’t… I can’t let you think like that. You’re the god damned Princess of the moon. You’ve lived thousands of years longer than any of them. You’ve seen and done things that they can’t even imagine. So why the hell are you listening to them talk shit about stuff they clearly know nothing about?”
Luna blinked. It had been forever since any but her sister had addressed her with such a tone. “Your words are most appreciated, dearest Thomas.” She said evenly. “However, you do not truly understand what it is to lie in not only the shadow of an elder sibling, but the terrible sins of your past.”
Thomas just glared back at Luna. “You’re right.” He said flatly. “I’ve never had any siblings to compare myself to and I’ve never done anything that could qualify as a sin. In fact, I’ve never really done anything that qualifies as anything.” He spat. “All my life I’ve kept myself to the sidelines because I know, whenever that stupid human instinct to socialize kicks in, I end up pissing people off. I don’t really mean it, but I just don’t really know any other way to be. That’s why I started training myself to stop talking unless absolutely necessary.”
“Thomas?” Luna asked worriedly.
“I… I convinced myself that everything I did was wrong. When I got into fights at work, I eventually figured out that, while the other guys might have been a bit rude, it was only because I was being stubborn. Even when I was little I didn’t like people. I pictured myself as the victim of bullies like the kind you see on TV. But looking back, the guys I thought were making fun of me were just trying engage in normal male bonding, but I refused to see it like that.” He paused. “Worse, if I had known then what I know now about myself, I’d have probably made the same mistakes, but in different ways.”
“Thomas,” Luna whispered gently. “What is it that you know about yourself that would have led to the same mistakes?”
Realizing that he’d said too much, Thomas knew there was no choice but to confess his deepest secret. “It’s called depression.” He said plainly. “It’s this condition I have.”
“Condition?” Luna asked with an alarmed tone. “We detected no such diseases in your initial scan!”
“It’s not a disease,” Thomas assured. “Depression is like a mood disorder caused by a fuckup of hormones in the brain. Most of the time I’m normal, but then there are moods where any time something bad happens… I get really down on myself. Then I get down on myself for feeling down, and then it just keeps spiraling like that until I find some kind of distraction to take my mind off things.”
“How long do these moods last?”
“Depends,” Thomas shrugged. “Sometimes I go whole weeks without a depression attack. Others I’m in a bad mood for two weeks straight.”
“You said it is triggered by bad things happening in your life, yes?” Luna asked cautiously. “Can you not simply focus on the positive aspects?”
“That’s why it’s called a condition,” countered Thomas, hating the pity he heard in Luna’s voice. “I can’t just think my problems away. And sometimes there isn’t really even a trigger.” Thomas went on to explain how periods of depression could be brought about by his mind wandering and remembering a bad time. To make matters worse, he’d feel so low that he’d convince himself that this was how he is supposed to feel. When he did reflect on the positives in his life, that too made him feel low for being sad while others in the world managed to get by with so much less. He’d even taken up the practice in middle school of telling himself that he was worthless and that he’d never accomplish anything. He didn’t do that particular thing anymore, but it had no doubt affected his overall outlook.
Luna listened intently to every word he spoke, horrified by the implications. “Are there no treatments back in your world? Did you not seek help?”
“They have pills, but they’re just a bandage solution. Also the side effects can be just as bad as or worse than the thing they’re trying to treat so I didn’t think it was worth the risk, or the cost. There is no real cure, so I never brought it up. I figured it’d just be a bother to those around me if they had to worry about me like that, so I kept it all to myself.”
Luna’s eyes widened in realization when she made the connection. “You felt trapped.” She analyzed. “You felt that there was nothing those around you could do, so you pushed them away. In time, you even allowed yourself to think they didn’t care at all.”
Thomas met Luna’s eyes and they shared in a moment of mutual understanding. Though even now that little voice at the back of Thomas’ head told him he had no right compare his bitterness to Luna’s legitimate woes, that voice was quickly cast aside by the heartwarming smile that grew on the alicorn’s face. In return, Thomas tightened his hug as best he could and buried his face in the crook of her neck.
Glancing up at the clock and realizing it was time to do her royal duty, Luna lit her horn and lowered the moon, though her focus remained primarily on the scrawny bundle of love in her grasp as they reveled in each other’s touch. “I…” she began with a half-smile. “I don’t suppose it would be sufficient if I simply issued a royal decree forbidding you from allowing yourself to descend into such delusions of worthlessness, would it?” She asked hopefully.
“Would it work on you?” Thomas asked into her fur.
“It might,” Luna said leadingly. “If there were some… one there to remind us otherwise.”
Thomas turned his head to the side, listening contentedly to Luna’s heart as he felt the rise and fall of her chest beneath and around him. “You mean… if you had someone there to tell you you’ve got a great sense of humor, that the way you carry yourself never fails to inspire respect, that it’s a shame your sky can’t fit in a museum, that your fur is so soft its threatening to put me to sleep,” he paused to let her laugh, “and the obligatory comment about the royal moon.”
Luna chortled gratefully before sighing. “And Thomas. Would it help if you had somepony there to remind you of certain things?”
“Like?” Thomas inquired, bracing himself to counter the argument that she was only saying this out of pity.
“Even if the stories you tell are not your own, the way you paint such a vivid picture has moved me in ways past bards could only fantasize about. Though you claim to not understand pony body language, you have yet to fail to come to a mare’s aid when she is in most need. You are quiet, but that only strengthens your listening. The unique perspective you provide on matters of literature, economics, and, of course, intercourse never fails to intrigue.”
Thomas felt a new surge of warmth as the sincerity of Luna’s words fell over him. “It couldn’t hurt,” he admitted.
“I love you, dearest Thomas. If nothing else, never forget that.” Luna said firmly.
“And I love you too.” Thomas said. He’d considered saying something playful like ‘I’m fond of you too’, but decided that what this moment called for was the simple truth. “You and your big horse eyes.” But a little humor on the side couldn’t hurt.
“Oh?” Luna smiled cheekily. “Well, there is one last thing I forgot to mention about you.” Before Thomas could ask, he suddenly yelped after suffering an unprovoked goosing of his backside. “You have the most coltishly adorable and pinchable flanks in the entire kingdom.”
“If my arms were longer, I’d argue that last point.” Thomas threatened playfully.
“Pretty colts like yourself have tried before.” Luna said confidently. “What makes you think you would do any better?”
Thomas pressed his face back into Luna’s fur. There he spoke a cold and sinister truth that filled the alicorn’s heart with dread. “Because I know where you’re ticklish.”
The human made good on his threat, engaging his foe for many arduous minutes before succumbing to exhaustion and collapsing by Luna’s side. There Luna left him as she slid out of bed and dressed herself in a more informal gown, neglecting most of her regalia, save the crown. On her way out she gave her beloved a quick kiss on the forehead, smiling as he stirred and rubbed the backs of his hands. From there she met with her sister and had a long discussion about what had happened in night court.
**********
Meanwhile, in a ritzy apartment near the castle, Perfect Measure had just finished greeting her herd and foals, assuring them that this evening was a remarkable success and that all would be back to normal shortly. From there she departed for her study to unwind with a good book before bed. While sitting there, alone, she noticed an odd chill and made a mental note to chastise the servants for allowing it to get this cold.
“Error.” A voice whispered softly.
Freezing nervously with her face still in the book, Perfect Measure’s ears swiveled in every direction.
“Error.”
Slowly setting the book down, Perfect Measure’s ears continued to swivel. “Hello?” She whispered.
“Error. Error.”
Wetting her lips, Perfect Measure was no longer able to pretend that she was imagining things. Something was in here with her.
“Error. Error.”
Perfect Measure was beginning to panic. Her head darted around as she surveyed the empty study. Her ears continued to swivel, but she was unable to pinpoint the location of the voice, not even its general direction. It was like it was coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once.
“Error. Detected.”
“Error?” Perfect Measure asked evenly, too afraid to raise her voice as she slowly stood from the chair. “What error?”
“Error. Detected.”
“You don’t say.” Prefect Measure said through a forced smile as she positioned her body to face the door and started walking. “What kind of error?”
“Error. Error. Error in causality has been detected.”
Perfect Measure froze. She only had a couple more feet before she reached the door. She tried to reach out with her magic, but she was panicking too much to focus. She’d heard the direction of the voice this time. And her animal instincts confirmed its presence. There was no flash of teleportation or any other magic, not even the sound of the floor boards creaking, but there was no doubt in the unicorn’s mind that something was there that hadn’t been before, something behind her.
“Error. Located. Attempting to correct.”
Perfect Measure spun around, but didn’t even have time to scream before it was upon her.
After going to sleep, Perfect Measure woke considerably earlier than usual since she’d begun going to night court. She’d promised her herd a lovely dinner this evening to make up for her absence thus far. As she readied herself, she opened the drawer where she’d hidden the first draft of the proposal she’d promised last night, already written and spellchecked. Staring at it ponderously, Perfect Measure began to lose her confidence in the idea. Her partners in the Association had become increasingly upset with her insistence on resisting the extended operation hours of their companies. They were no more fond of the new Princess than she was, but business was business. Recalling a few innocuous things suggested at their last meeting regarding the members' confidence in the current leadership, the mare was really losing confidence in herself. This was a bad idea. Still, to keep from losing face with her supporters, she’d have to pull back gradually. To present herself as a pony of reason, she’d compromise, negotiate away the more radical elements of the proposal in exchange for favorable deals that ultimately benefit her more than this ludicrous stack of papers ever would.
Her mind made and set on a new course of action, Perfect Measure closed the drawer and finished readying herself for dinner with her family. As they left, the mare’s ear flicked as she thought she’d heard something, but decided it was just her imagination.
After shaking up their morning routines with a nice bit of reversal, not to mention Talon penning a letter to Fluttershy and making a show about not wanting others to see it, all was looking like the start to a relatively ordinary work night. The group was just now returning from Luna’s cooking lesson after parting ways with their beloved Princess. And then, on the trio’s return from their morning workout, the trio turned the corner with a low thud, pushing the griffon back.
“Oh. Pardon me.” The short bat pony bowed her head apologetically after colliding with Talon.
Moonlight had already moved between the stranger and Thomas, blocking his view.
“No problem.” Talon waved her claw as she scanned the mare before her. “The name’s Talon, by the way,” she said, extending her claw in greeting.
“Oh, uh, p-pleased to meet you,” the bat pony stuttered as she took Talon’s claw. “My name is Silver Bell.” Her voice had a faint, if still familiar Prench accent.
Your name is what? Thomas thought as he poked his head around Moonlight’s side. Sure enough, there stood the silver gray mare from the other night, bat wings folded behind her back, eyes the same shade of indigo as Luna’s fur, and still so short that she was probably the only other adult out there who could understand Thomas’ mild neck pains from looking up all the time. However, most of her body, including her cutie mark, was covered by a simple blue dress with a knee-length skirt and lacey trim. It wasn’t form-fitting, but it did make her look awfully cute.
“So tell me, sweet wings,” Talon teased, causing Silver to blush through her silver fur. “What’chya doing out here? Get lost on the way back to Night Court?”
“Oh, not at all. I was,” Silver coughed, banishing her timid shyness as she addressed Talon with a much more dignified posture. “I was invited to the castle just yesterday and thought I’d do a little exploring before my interview.”
Alarm bells went off in Talon’s brain. Her bull-shit meter hadn’t gone off, but what the mare had described sounded suspiciously familiar. There was also that familiar tingle in her gut from the last few dozen times she met a familiar face.
“So you’re going to work here at the castle?” She asked, intrigued, never letting her suspicions shine through. At Silver’s more hesitant nod, Talon went on to ask, “What position?”
Silver’s gaze fell along Talon’s body until they rested on her loincloth. Her eyes widened as realization dawned upon her. “I…” *Cough* “I seek to do my family proud by humbly applying to the honorable position of concubine to the illustrious and long missed Princess of the Night.”
In the pause that followed, Thomas’ initial thought was, That’s an awfully longwinded way of saying ‘I want to be an alicorn’s fuck toy’. The bigger picture soon dawned on him. She’s applying… to be a concubine? She’s applying to be my subordinate. She, Silver Bell, is applying for a job that I, the Senior Concubine, asked Attentive Eye to help make happen... What’re the odds? No seriously. I’m gonna find someone to give me numbers.
“Ya don’t say,” Talon said through a shit-eating-grin, her suspicions confirmed. “Well, I’m sure your family must already be so proud that you’ve come all this way, from Prance if I’m reading your accent right?” Silver nodded and Talon continued, “Just so you could buck a Princess.”
Thomas shot Talon a WTF glare. Buck a Princess? What the hell’s wrong with you? You trying to scare her off or... Thomas blinked as he considered. Are you trying to scare her off, like, is this some kind of test? Talon caught Thomas’ confused expression and flashed him an I-got-this smile.
Silver tightened her grip around Talon’s claw, not painfully, but enough to show that the challenge had been accepted as she glared proudly at the much taller griffon. “The grand House of Bell has held the distinguished honor of supplying worthy lovers to the Princess of the Night for generations. An honor, tragically, we have been denied for millennia. And though the followers of the sun,” she shot an accusing glare at Moonlight, “have forgotten, we bat ponies have never lost faith in the one Princess who as always shown such love to our kind. I am here as but a small gesture of my tribe, to return a fraction of the love Princess Luna has shown us.”
Well that was one hell of a speech. Thomas admitted to himself, thoroughly impressed.
Moonlight wanted to tell the mare off for saying ‘follower of the sun’ like it was an insult, but she knew how bat ponies could get and kept her composure. It didn’t hurt that she’d also been too enthralled by Silver Bell’s speech that all negative feelings were quickly washed away. She could never hate a pony who showed such honor and loyalty.
Talon was also quite pleased by the bat pony’s commitment and released her hand after nodding approvingly. “Not bad, but a simple ‘yes’ would have also been acceptable.”
Silver gave a relieved smile, proud that she had passed the griffon’s test. “Th-thank you, ma’am.”
“Not a ‘ma’am,’” Talon held up her claw haltingly. “Just call me Talon. Tali if my boss likes ya.”
“By boss, you mean…” Silver inquired.
“Senior Concubine of Princess Luna’s Royal Harem.” Talon finished. “A real cutie, that one.”
“Oh. Why yes, of course,” Silver laughed in relief. “By any chance, is she around?” She asked, scanning the otherwise empty hallway. “I’d love to meet her if she has the time.”
“Looking to brown-nose with the Princess’ favorite early, are we?” Talon asked with a smirk. “Smart plan.”
Silver turned to the guardsmare with eyes that asked ‘is-she-always-like-this?’, which Moonlight affirmed with a grimace and a slow nod. Accepting this as an inescapable factor in her new soon-to-be job, Silver smiled back at Talon, flashing her fangs. “It may not be my cutie mark, but I’ve been told my tea is quite lovely. Perhaps I could invite you to join us?” She paused to glance back at the guardsmare and the odd hairless thing standing behind her. “But it seems I have forgotten my manners. Who might your friends be?”
So far so good. Talon nodded. She can take a joke and she has manners. Now for the big test. Stepping aside to give a clear view, Talon gestured grandly in the direction of her friends. “These here are my pals. The orange one is Private Moonlight Shield of Princess Luna’s House Guard.”
“Pleased to make your acquaintance.” Moonlight smiled politely as she extended her hand.
Silver took the hand a bit too eagerly, looking upon Moonlight as though she only just now noticed the dark coloring of her armor. “The pleasure is all mine, but I do apologize for that ‘sun follower’ remark. Sometimes I can get a little carried away and-”
“No need,” Moonlight assured her. “There are more than a few bat ponies in the guard, though I imagine you could have probably guessed that.” She laughed awkwardly. “I know you guys can get a little… passionate when it comes to Princess Luna.”
Silver nodded appreciatively. “That’s wonderful to hear, both your understanding and that so many of my tribe have been gathering together after centuries of being scattered.”
“And the scrawny naked one,” Talon continued, “is called Thomas.” She gestured to the now very self-conscious human. “Thomas is the human they’ve been talking about in the papers.”
Papers? Oh crap. I haven’t been keeping up with the papers lately. What’ve they been saying about… wait. Focus. Remember where you are, dumbass. “Nice to meet you.” Thomas said, extending his hand, but Silver did not take it right away. It was only a half second hesitation, but one they all noticed. The look she gave was more of surprise than disgust, as if she hadn’t been expecting him to talk.
“Human? Thomas?” Silver echoed after finally taking Thomas’s hand in a much tighter grip than he’d prepared for. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I was trying to recall where I’d heard those names before. Also, I hadn’t prepared for you to be this cute, and…” her eyes went wide when they fell upon the dark crest of the moon sown into the loincloth that stood in stark contrast of the human’s pale skin. “Oh! I remember you now. You’re that cute filly from the papers who helped fend off that rampaging ursa, aren’t you?” She smiled sweetly. “No doubt Princess Luna is proud to have a mare as daring as you in her service.” There was one more thing Silver knew in relation to humans, something important that was just out of her mind’s reach. Regardless, she hoped the human would be at least mildly impressed by her knowledge.
There they go with the ‘mare’ again. Thomas bemoaned. I don’t even have boobs. Even the smallest mares I’ve seen have boobs bigger than me, even Silver, so why can’t any of them put two and two together? It took all of Thomas’ will not to point down to his loincloth and demand that this mare know that he had a package down there.
Well this is getting adorably awkward. Time for the coup de grâce. Talon thought to herself. “His title is actually that of Senior Concubine of Princess Luna’s Harem.” She paused, both to let her words sink in and to savor the look of shock on the bat mare’s face.
“Your ladyship!” Silver said as she immediately dropped to one knee, still holding onto Thomas’ hand in a position he thought looked uncomfortably similar to a marriage proposal. “Forgive my ignorance. As an applicant to such an honored position, I should have known who you were right away. Of course I did what I could to look up who I would be working under, but information on the concubines isn’t listed on the main roster and… No.” She said resolutely. “I offer no excuse. Please bestow any punishment that you see fit.”
Thoroughly unnerved, Thomas looked to his friends for help. Moonlight looked just as confused as he was. Talon also seemed nervous, but rolled her wrist as she gestured him to think of something and roll with it. Like it’s that easy. He glared his disapproval back at the griffon who just kept egging him on. Fine then. It doesn’t seem like all that big a deal to me, but she’d probably disagree after all that talk about honor. I need to give her some kind of penalty, like a chore so she can make amends and we can move on, but what? Thomas puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore. And then he thought of something he hadn’t before. “Stand.” He ordered and she obeyed, keeping her head hung low. “Do you own any hats?”
“H-hats?” Silver asked, joining the other females in confusion. “I… a few. Why do you ask?”
“For the crime of failing to navigate a system that was designed to keep outsiders out,” Thomas began as he spoke regally. “I, Sir Thomas,” he emphasized, hoping to get the message across, “hereby order you to fetch the ugliest hat you own and consume it for my pleasure.”
Silver blinked in surprise and looked up to meet the shorter human’s expression. This order sounded suspiciously similar to a promise she’d made to a cute mare a few days ago.
Upon seeing the recognition in her eyes, Thomas smiled sympathetically back at her. “By the way, thanks again for the pep talk back in the restaurant. I really needed to hear that, and it turns out everything worked out just fine.” Deciding he’d been holding back for long enough, Thomas addressed Talon and Moonlight. “We actually met back at that restaurant on Saturday, ya know, after Luna turned me into a mare. We had a little run-in outside the mare’s room,” he blushed, “and she gave me some good advice. Then she said she was so confident that things would work out that she vowed to eat the ugliest hat in Canterlot if they didn’t.”
Silver’s eyes looked like they were ready to pop right out of her head. “Th-th-that was you, Moon Lover?”
“Guilty as charged.” Thomas held up his hand and swore. “Sorry for the deception, though. We were trying to have a nice night out without the press bothering us.”
“U-us?” Silver stuttered. “S-so the m-mare you were talking about… was that P-Princess L…” the word caught in her throat.
Talon couldn’t help herself. “I get to call her Moonbutt because we-oof.” She winced, turning an annoyed glare on the mare who elbowed her side.
“Not helping,” Moonlight whispered.
Silver swallowed and smacked her lips together to wet her uncomfortably dry throat. The mare she’d befriended, and thought about later, wasn’t a mare at all, but a stallion from another country. That was the detail she’d forgotten from reading about the ursa incident. More so, the stallion was actually concubine to the mare who’d been the hero of most of her bedtime stories. It was all too much and Silver felt her legs give way.
When she’d recovered from her brief lapse, she found herself supported in the hands of the armored mare and the claws of the larger griffon. The human had also rushed to her aid, but instead found himself pressed compromisingly between her breasts after Talon had inadvertently pushed him forward.
The silence was deafening as the depth of the awkwardness set in. Thomas could hear Silver’s racing heartbeat. Silver was fighting the urge to squeak each time the human’s breathing caused his bare skin to slide against her sensitive breasts, not to mention the way his hot breath felt against her neck. When it seemed like they might be trapped like this forever, Talon sneezed, causing them all to scramble frantically to escape, not unlike a group of cats after popping a balloon. When it was over, they found themselves standing in the exact same spots as before, though the awkwardness continued.
“S-so,” Thomas began, breaking the silence. “Y-you want to be a concubine to Princess Luna, right?”
“I… I do.” Silver calmed herself and spoke with confidence. “Nothing would make me prouder than the chance to serve the Princess.”
“Then,” Thomas cleared his throat, “why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?”
“P-pardon?”
Thomas glanced back at Talon who gave a swift nod for him to go on. “From what I’ve gathered, the interview process isn’t really all that formal.” He checked again and Talon nodded much more slowly. “In fact, all things considered, the interview’s actually supposed to be more like a date.” God, I hope that didn’t sound too weird.
Is that how you’re asking her out, by saying it’s your job? Moonlight mentally recoiled in horror.
Talon just stared on neutrally. The really sad part is that this isn’t the worst pickup line I’ve seen.
“Sorry! Sorry.” Thomas shook his hands apologetically. “That sounded really dumb, didn’t it?”
“I suppose it could have been worse.” Silver shrugged.
Meeting each other’s eyes, the group descended into light chuckles.
“I mean no offense, good sir.”
“It’s Thomas,” he corrected. “You can just call me Thomas.”
“Okay, good Sir Thomas,” Silver continued, a smile betraying her effort at playful banter. “If I might ask, have you asked out many mares?”
Thomas had to think on that one. “If we’re counting first dates, then I think you might actually be the first.”
Silver’s face scrunched in a mixture of amusement and curiosity. “Then…”
“How did I win Luna over?” he finished, and chuckled. “She’s the one who asked me. Also, I’ve been lead to believe I have a cute butt.” He confessed, shaking his head in embarrassment.
Without a hint of shame or trace of subtlety, Silver took two steps to her left and leaned over to get a better view of Thomas’ rear. It wasn’t as full or seemingly hard as she’d expected. She had imagined ponies of a royal harem having bodies the likes of which found on professional models; a thought which had provided no shortage of anxiety when she looked down at her own relatively plain figure. His physique was also rather scrawny, but a bit of muscle here and there gave him a charmingly lean look. Regarding his rump, the more she stared, the more she likened it to that of a young colt. Was Luna into the pretty colt type? Were her parents right that the Princesses enjoyed a variety of body types? It wasn’t until Thomas coughed that Silver realized that she’d been staring longer than was polite and returned to her previous position. There was no shame in looking at another pony’s plot, at least for a while, but she cautioned herself to be wary of differing human customs.
“And?” Talon inquired, as though the question spoke for itself. When she was met with blank stares, she continued. “You checked out his rump. What’d ya think?”
For god’s sake, just stop already! Thomas hoped to communicate through his eyes, but Talon didn’t seem to notice.
Certain this was part of the ongoing test of her interview process, Silver straightened up to the perfect posture of a lady and smiled gently at the slightly shorter human. “Sir Thomas.” She said with an eloquent, almost melodious voice. “It would be my esteemed pleasure to accept your invitation to an outing this evening. Also, you most certainly have a cute plot.”
Hearing a whimper from either side confirmed to the human that this mare’s voice was just short of panty-dropping on the kinkometer, at least when she wanted it to be. The satisfied look on Silver’s face at watching Thomas’ friends sway also showed she knew exactly what she was doing. Clever girl. Thomas nodded in approval. “This is still a work day for me, and I might be called at any moment,” he warned. “However, if that doesn’t bother you, it would be a pleasure to have you over for drinks back in my room.” He concluded with a low bow.
“Oh, good sir,” Silver swooned. “The pleasure would be all mine.”
Talon snickered at how cute these two were trying to out-polite one another.
As they walked along with their new addition, Thomas turned to Talon and dryly inquired. “Is coincidence just not something you have here in Equestria?”
“If we did have it, I’m pretty sure the Princesses would have banished it for being a nuisance already.” Talon answered flatly.
The trip to Luna’s chambers was a short one. Despite her earlier excitability, Silver remained impressively composed when she realized exactly where they were going. However, that didn’t stop her from ogling every stitch and speck of dust like they were priceless treasures just for the proximity they’d held with the alicorn she idolized. There’d even been a short awkward dance when she was asked to sit down, as if afraid to defile one of the Princess’ chairs with her inferior backside. Eventually, she managed to bring herself to sit across from Thomas and Talon while Moonlight stood behind them. Drinks were ordered, and a look from Talon told Thomas the responsibility of getting things started was his.
“Do all bat ponies act like this when it comes to Luna?” Thomas asked.
“Like what?” Silver asked warily.
“I hope that didn’t sound rude. I’m pretty new to Equestria and still figuring things out.” He waited until her expression softened, which he took as a sign that no offense was taken. “But what Moonlight said earlier about bat ponies being passionate got me wondering. Ponies seem to revere the Princesses in general, and it’s not hard to see why, but do bat ponies worship Luna or something?”
“Well, we do,” Silver admitted plainly. Taking a quick quiet sip of her coffee, pinkie finger extended and everything, she set her china cup back on its holder and smiled gently. “Few worship to the same degree as the old days, and the only church to Luna still standing is in Nocternia. Most ponies worship the alicorns in general, but Luna has always had a special place in the hearts of our tribe.” She sighed wistfully. “There’s actually a bit of a story behind that.”
“I’m up for a story,” Thomas said with a chipper grin. “How about you guys?”
“I got nowhere to be.” Talon shrugged.
“It would be an honor to hear the story of your tribe from the source.” Moonlight nodded eagerly.
“Very well.” Silver straightened up in her seat. “Ours was actually the fourth tribe to settle in Equestria. In those days, other ponies saw our slit eyes, featherless wings, and nocturnal habits as rather frightening. A trend, I’m saddened to say, that has yet to fully go away,” she said mournfully. “As such, to assuage their fears, our tribe split into smaller nomadic groups that foraged the land for what we needed. We kept our distance from other pony settlements, trading with them only rarely, and overall there was peace.”
“Really?” Thomas leaned forward, thoroughly intrigued. “I don’t remember that part of the Hearth’s Warming Eve story.”
“That’s because we weren’t there,” Silver said plainly. “We didn’t come to Equestria until almost a hundred years later. By that point most of the land and skies had already been claimed and settled. Also, I’m betting you’ve only read about the story from the play. Am I right?”
“Not historically accurate?” Thomas asked grimly. “Should’ve known prettying up history wasn’t just something humans did.”
“Human?” Silver questioned, only to recall. “Oh. That’s your race.”
“Yup.” Thomas gave a short nod. “Also, for the record, a male human is called a man and a female is a woman.”
“Ya don’t say.” Talon interjected, her brow raising in interest.
Moonlight was also intrigued, though she did better at hiding it.
“Anyway, the sentiment behind the story was fairly accurate, as far as I know.” Silver continued. “The rulers of the three tribes did become friends and they did make a commitment to peace. However, these things just don’t happen all at once. There was less fighting, so the Wendigoes never came back, but like I said, by the time the bat ponies arrived, Equestria had already been claimed and divided up by the various nations of the three tribes.”
“Nations?” Thomas asked. “As in, more than just the three tribes?”
“That would be another historical inaccuracy. You see, bat ponies were the only tribe to arrive in Equestria completely united.” Silver said with a proud smirk, trying to ignore the look Moonlight was giving her. “The rest were still holding to themselves in various city states. The idea that they were all united under the banner of their respective tribes is, well, just something ponies tell themselves nowadays so they don’t have to think we bat ponies one-upped them on something.”
“That’s not true at all!” Moonlight protested indignantly. “We talk about unity to encourage it for future generations. It’s not some bitter rivalry, like you’re making it out to be.”
“Oh?” Silver tilted her head as she studied Moonlight carefully. “You seem to believe that, but how many bat ponies did you really know growing up?”
Moonlight grimaced. “I don’t see what that has to do with it.”
“I’m getting a little out of order here, but when Princess Luna was banished, my ponies became scattered nomads once more. For those of us who remained in the cities, we were looked down upon for generations,” Silver said coldly. “Princess Celestia’s laws might have saved us from open persecution for following her sister, but our ponies were never able to prosper like they had when Princess Luna was in power.”
“Why?” Thomas spoke up, hoping to break the building tension between the mares. “That is, why were your people-ponies… why were you guys better off with Luna?”
Both mares visibly relaxed as Silver continued. “As you may or may not know, after centuries of relative peace, everything fell apart with the coming of the Discord.” She practically spat the name out. “The suffering he inflicted was brief, but terrible. So much was lost from all four tribes. Remember when I said that bat ponies didn’t arrive until a century after the other tribes? That’s just a rough estimate, because we honestly don’t know. We don’t even know what made us come to Equestria in the first place. All that remains before that time are stories, and even most of them are fairly vague. I can’t even say if we were escaping catastrophe like the other tribes, or simply continuing a long history of migration.
“The only thing we know for certain is that after the arrival of the alicorns and the banishment of the Discord, it was the younger sibling who tended to my tribe most of all,” Silver said reverently. “It might have been our nocturnal nature that drew us together, meaning that we were the only ones truly able to appreciate her lovely nights. The suffering inflicted by Discord hurt all ponies, but it had left our already scattered tribe even weaker. Were it not for Princess Luna’s decisive action in negotiating a plot of land to call our own, to build and farm as we had not done in an age, the bat pony tribe might have gone extinct, as we fear others might have. We were the only ones who truly appreciated her lovely nights. That, Sir Thomas, is why bat ponies revere, respect, and worship Princess Luna above all.”
“Oh.” Thomas said flatly, too awed to think of much else to say. “Wait, extinct?” Silver nodded. “So there were more tribes of ponies?”
“Pre-Discord records are contradictory, to say the least.” Silver grimaced. “However, most historians believe there were numerous subspecies of each pony, such as unicorns as tall as Celestia but with lion tails. But with Equestria as damaged as it was, the Princesses were not able to save everypony. The smallest of the tribes had lost their culture and either died out or integrated with the larger tribes. Either way, there has been no mention of these lost ponies ever since.”
“What about that land Luna gave you? Is that still around?” Thomas asked, hoping it would lighten the mood.
“Nocternia,” Silver said dreamily. “The sacred home of the bat pony tribe. It is said that Princess Luna chose this mountain specifically, not only because the intricate caverns provided an ideal place for us to build and sleep safely during the day, not only because the land at the base of the mountain was rich and fertile, but because it was upon this very mountain that the Princesses arrived and first looked out over the land that would be theirs.” She smiled whimsically. “Yes. When most of my tribe fled the other cities and returned to our nomadic practices, Nocternia remained the last bright star that lit up the land. It was hoped that one day we would be the beacon that would call our Princess to return to us.” She sighed. “Instead, it was some nowhere earth pony village.” Silver concluded with unapologetic disappointment.
“Ponyville’s a lot nicer than you might think,” Thomas offered casually. “Granted, it was being eaten by a giant star bear the last time I saw it, but I’m sure they’ve got it fixed up by now.”
Silver chuckled. “Yes. I remember reading about how you daringly saved that filly only to smooch Princess Celestia’s protégé. I must say had I been in your situation, I might have done things differently.” She smiled suggestively, batting her eyes at him.
“So you say,” Thomas commented questioningly. “But I guess we won’t know for certain till we get another star bear attack.”
“Hmm.” Silver tapped her chin thoughtfully before taking another sip. “Thank you for the offer, but I think I’ll pass.”
“Alright. Then it’s my turn.” Talon shuffled around to make herself comfortable and leaned in on her elbows. “That was a very lovely history lesson on bat ponies, but it doesn’t tell us very much about the bat pony who wants to make a career about eating Moonbutt’s marehood.”
Silver choked on her tea, sending out little drops across the table cover. Still she kept her cup in place and stared Talon down with as much dignity as she could muster through bright red cheeks. “A-as you say.” She whispered meekly.
“I think what my friend is trying to say,” Thomas began as he gave Talon a disapproving glare, “Is that we’d like to know more about who you are and not just what you are.” He smiled slyly. “Who is Silver Bell and why would I want to share a bed with her?”
“I supposed that’s a fair question.” Silver agreed, apparently no longer as flustered. “Where would you like me to start?”
“Let’s start at the beginning.” Thomas suggested while wondering what he was doing differently than Talon. “Where’d you grow up? What’s your family like? Oh, and your cutie mark story. That ought to be interesting.”
Silver beamed, apparently eager from the selection of questions. “Well, as I said earlier, I am a member of House Bell, one of the oldest bat pony noble houses in all Equestria. I was born and grew up in the city of Prance, a lovely little gem but nothing compared to the majesty of Canterlot.”
It’s like she’s channeling Rarity or something. Thomas thought.
“There are five in my birth herd with Gold Bell as my Dame and Rock Hard as my sire. My… what is it?”
Thomas held his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. “Y-your dad’s name is Rock Hard?”
Silver puzzled over the human’s peculiar reaction. “One of my fathers, the stallion who sired me, is named Rock Hard. He’s a body builder and professional model. Why is that so funny?”
Talon rolled her eyes and answered. “The little guy just gets this way about pony names sometimes. I don’t really get it either. Just roll with it.”
“Sorry,” Thomas held his hand up. “Sorry. I’m good now. Please, go on.”
Nodding, Silver resumed, grateful that Thomas had calmed down from… whatever that was. “I’m the middle foal of five. My foalhood was a rather typical one for somepony of my upbringing. My parents were loving, but strict. It was important of us to set a good example for bat ponies everywhere, so my siblings and I spent a lot of time training in etiquette and other disciplines in a very prestigious private school.”
Thomas frowned. “Was it hard growing up with that kind of pressure?”
“Not at all,” Silver smiled brightly, flashing a pristine set of fangs. “The discipline instilled in my siblings and I was the envy of most of our classmates. In fact, when it came time to pick for teams, I’d say we were some of the few who were picked as much for merit as for, as Miss Talon says, brownnosing from our wealthy parents.”
Talon snickered while Silver nodded with a serene smile, clearly proud of her choice of words and their effect on the griffon.
“What’d you do for fun?” Thomas asked.
“The usual, I suppose,” Silver said with a shrug. “Tag, ball, chess, my sisters went out for sports, but I preferred more quiet games like cards.”
“Quiet, huh?” Talon nodded, leaning over to whisper in Thomas’ ear. “Sounds like this one’s right up your alley.”
“You know she can hear us, right?” He whispered back as he glanced at the confused bat mare.
“What’s your point?” Talon asked, still whispering.
“Ugh,” Thomas groaned, ending their whispers. “Please, go on.”
Silver smiled, finding these little antics endearing in how different they were from what she was used to. “You know, my teachers would have boxed my ears if I behaved like that.” She commented good-naturedly.
“They can try with me.” Talon said evenly. “But then they’d have to be ready for re-Tali-ation.”
“No.” Thomas said flatly as he braced his fist against his forehead and shook his head in disapproval. “Just no.”
Chuckling, Silver continued. “Well I suppose that brings me to my cutie mark story.” This got the attention of the others. “I’m afraid it’s nothing special.”
“Tell it anyway.” Thomas encouraged.
“Well…” Silver blushed at the insistence of the cute little stallion. “It was my third year in secondary school and I was in my school’s choir. We’re encouraged to try out a variety of extracurricular activities in the hopes of finding our cutie marks. However, most manage to get theirs by the first or second year and then drop most of their nonessentials. I was in the middle of second year, last in my grade with a blank flank, and still I had no idea what I was meant for. All I had was a feeling that it had something to do with music. Since I never hit it off with any of the instruments, I focused all my spare energy into the choir.
“One day we were holding tryouts to see who would represent our school in a city-wide singing competition. I entered, even though my teacher discouraged those of us without musical cutie marks. She wasn’t being rude, I don’t think. She just didn’t want us to be disappointed. Anyway, the tryouts were being held like a mini competition where each round had us sing a different song of the teachers’ choosing. I made it to the finals with one other colt, Soprano Beat. For nine rounds we were given song after song, and each time he and I hit every note perfectly. By the tenth round, the teachers ran out of prompts so the disqualified candidates started shouting songs from popular bands. By the twentieth the teachers were ready to call it a tie, but I refused. I remember thinking how tired I was of being looked down on for being a blank flank and I wanted to prove myself once and for all.
“That’s when it happened.” Silver beamed proudly. “A filly suggested one of the newer songs from the band Easy Listening, but neither Soprano nor I had heard it. We were ready to move on to the next suggestion, but the filly was very insistent. She started singing the first few lines of the song and… I just picked it up. I’d never heard the song in my life, but after hearing the first few lines, it just clicked in my head. The next words just seemed so obvious. It was like I was channeling the very essence of the Magic of Harmony through my soul. I was so caught up in the moment, singing louder and prouder than I ever had before, that I might not have noticed until Soprano pointed it out.” Silver stood and pulled up the side of her green skirt until her thigh was present for all to see. “And that’s when this little treasure showed up.”
“That was a real nice story,” Talon said. “So I assume you won and carried your school to victory.”
Silver averted her gaze embarrassingly as she sat back down. “Yes and no. Yes that I won the tryouts, but the next day I caught a bug that had been going around, so I wasn’t able to compete.”
“The universe can be really mean sometimes.” Thomas observed. Suddenly the human had an ominous feeling that those words held more truth than he’d intended.
“Yes it can.” Silver agreed. “But it’s okay. I was able to compete next year and managed to take home second place out of twenty.”
“Not bad.” Talon commented.
“But now you’ve got me curious.” Thomas shuffled in his seat. “So all you need are the first few lines of a song, any song, and you’ll be able to sing the rest even if you’ve never heard it before?”
“If you doubt, I’m willing to pass any test.” Silver challenged confidently. “Just make sure you start at the beginning of the song, otherwise it doesn’t make sense for me. Though I warn you, I’m an avid consumer of all kinds of music Equestria has produced in the last few years, even the hits from the other races. I doubt there are even that many songs left that I haven’t heard.”
“Really?” Thomas smirked impishly. “And how many humans songs have you heard?”
Silver froze. Her silence was her answer.
While Thomas really wanted to experiment, maybe with a high energy opening to one of his favorite anime, he decided he didn’t want to risk embarrassing her. Instead, he settled for something he considered more in line with what he’d come to expect as rather typical of popular Equestrian music.
Somewhere, over the rainbow Way up high There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby
Thomas paused and watched Silver. She was looking past him as she focused intently on the song. Her lips moved, repeating the words, but she didn’t quite have it yet and motioned for him to go on. As she did, Thomas was only able to think about how perfect she was. Absolutely perfect. Every inflection, every pitch, she even sounded like Dorothy, or at least a really good impersonator. By the time it ended, Thomas had already started and Talon soon joined him in applauding. “That was incredible, like listening to it for the first time all over again.”
Silver shrugged sheepishly. “You’re too kind. It was short, but the melody was lovely. Also, I don’t really know how to say this, but the song tasted strange in my mouth. It wasn’t bad, just, I don’t know, different.”
Thomas and Talon exchanged puzzled looks before Talon offered a suggestion. “Maybe human songs are just different like that?”
“As good an explanation as any, I guess.” Thomas shrugged, resolving to play with this ability more at a later date. “But what about now? I mean, did you do anything before deciding to come to Canterlot?”
“I worked at a music store selling instruments.” Silver answered. “I never could use the things very well, but I understood the mechanics well enough to sell them. It was just a thing to keep me busy and make a few extra bits while I auditioned for various music rolls that turned up here and there. However,” she tailed off despondently, “besides there not being much of a demand for a pony with, basically, super memorization skills, there was always just something that kept me from getting the part. Sometimes it was a scheduling error, other times there was a traffic accident. More than once they found a pony they liked and told the rest of us to go home before we could even try. Heh. It kind of got me wondering if I’ve been cursed with bad luck or something.”
“You didn’t piss off a zebra, did you?” Talon asked warily. “I hear they have potions that can do that sort of thing.”
“Not that I’m aware of,” Silver sighed. “My parents kept telling me that it’s just destiny getting me to hold out until I find the right part, but it’s hard not to feel discouraged after so much rejection.”
“Preaching to the choir on that one.” Thomas remarked.
Silver tilted her head. “Why would I preach to a choir?”
“It’s an expression,” Thomas chuckled. “It means I know what you’re talking about. Back home, before coming to Equestria, I sent out my resume to like twenty or thirty companies a week. I was unemployed for a year and a half before getting a minimum wage job at a deli.”
“And then ya found your way here, and now ya pound Princess plot for a living.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Thomas picked up his cup and motioned for Talon to do the same. They said their cheers, clinked their cups together and downed their drinks in a few gulps.
“Do you have to talk about the Princess that way?” Silver squirmed uncomfortably. “It just seems so… disrespectful to talk like that behind her back.”
“You think that’s bad, you should hear some of the stuff she says when Luna’s actually around.” Thomas whispered conspiratorially.
Silver blinked. “And… this is acceptable?”
Talon just snickered and shook her head. “You’re gonna have to get used to talk like that around here, sweet wings.” She emphasized by waggling her eyebrows suggestively. Silver’s cheeks just colored deeper as she tried to hide behind her cup. “Not sure how things work where you’re from, but around here, once the doors lock, all manners fly right out the window; along with a few ponies if things get really wild.”
“She’s exaggerating,” Thomas assured as he reached out for Silver’s hand, only to hesitate at the last moment, uncertain how that might be taken. “I mean, she’s right about getting used to the talk, but things don’t actually get that crazy, you know, during.”
Talon smiled slyly. “If I were you, I’d be wary about taking advice from a guy who’s never been in more than a threesome.”
Silver blinked curiously. “Why would that matter?”
“Oh Faust,” Talon face palmed, shaking her head in dismay. “It matters because there’s a reason our jobs exist.” Talon set her claws back on the table and looked seriously across at Silver. “You said House Bell’s been giving Luna concubines for generations? I’m having trouble believing that at the moment because, if it were true, they would have told ya about the crazy powerful libido of your average alicorn. It’s like their bodies are in a perpetual state of heat.” She said bluntly, pausing to let the weight of her words sink in. “Thomas here’s only been with Luna a short time, so while he has some idea, she’s still not fully recovered from getting blasted by the Elements of Harmony and it’s all pretty tame at the moment. Same with Cadence who’s still fairly young. Celestia, on the other claw-”
She’s saying full names. Thomas thought warily. This can’t be good.
Talon shuddered. “I love the gal and all, but she is INSATIABLE. I don’t think she’s even able to get off with any fewer than four of us helping out at any given time, and sometimes not even then. We’re basically hanging all over her body like monkeys in a tree, no offense,” she directed at Thomas, “constantly working her sensitive spots to get her going. And when it gets really bad, oh boy.” Talon smiled grimly. “There’s a reason concubines are the envy of prostitutes across the land. It’s because, when it gets really bad for Celestia, she’s had to hire out professional whorses just to give us support. And ya know what? Despite how much they’re paid, they actually quit half way through almost half the time. They just couldn’t handle it.”
“You can’t be serious,” Silver asserted, shaking her head. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around the perpetual heat thing. But if professional whorses can’t even handle the Princesses, what makes you, him, or me any different?” She demanded anxiously.
“I’d like to know that too,” Thomas added, catching a bit of Silver’s panic.
“Because they like us.” Talon smirked. “Sex is always better with someone you like. And because the alicorns like us so much, our touch is that much more satisfying to them. Basically, we’re like their herd, and the things we do just can’t be matched by anyone else. That’s why I said the whorses were brought in as support, not the main event. In a way, we concubines are like the first and last line of defense protecting Equestria from the unbridled lust of the alicorns, but you didn’t hear that from me.” She snickered. “Also, being around an alicorn kind of rubs off on ya, in more ways than one.”
Silver gulped. “How do you mean?”
“And how come I don’t know this already?” added Thomas.
“You know how mares synch up their heat cycles, right?” Talon asked, to which Silver and even Moonlight nodded. “Well there’s a similar kind of hormone synch up when you’re around alicorns enough. For one thing, while you won’t want sex as often as they do, two out of three days you’re gonna be in the mood.”
Silver shivered as she imagined what it would be like for her body to be in a near constant state of heat. Loins on fire two weeks out of the year was bad enough, but this sounded utterly dreadful. However, Silver only hardened her resolve. Her ancestors had worked hard to satiate the pains of their beloved savior, and so would she.
Inferring as much as she watched the bat mare, Talon gave an approving nod before continuing. “The second thing you’ll notice is your rise in endurance. When an alicorn orgasms, they release magic in waves that go out in all directions, unlike the little sparks you get from a unicorn that only spray a small area. Over time, with enough exposure, these waves kind of buildup in your body, giving you some extra energy reserves that help keep ya going through those really long sessions.”
“How long exactly does it take for that to happen?” Thomas asked. “Because I’ve been here for a while and apparently Luna’s had to cast a lot of endurance spells. Even now I still need an energy drink sometimes.”
“That I can’t say,” Talon admitted. “The energy drink thing is normal though. None of us’ll ever be a full match for an alicorn, so we all need suppliments sometimes. However, you’re not magical in nature, so maybe that kind of passive magic doesn’t affect you the same.”
“Well that’s a bummer.” Thomas said dryly.
“I didn’t say it wouldn’t ever affect you, only that it’s probably not the same.” Talon assured. “Maybe it just takes you longer to build up or something.”
“Just to be clear,” Silver interjected. “I’m applying for a position where it will be my job to satiate the, as you say, insatiable. Is that about right?”
“That sounds pretty accurate. Yes.” Talon confirmed as she leered back at the mare, eyes judging her every twitch for signs that she might not be able to handle it.
Silver nodded in consideration. “I suppose this next question would be standard for any kind of interview. Will there be training?”
Talon chuckled. “It’s more like ya learn on the job. Just look at Chimp here,” she bumped Thomas’ shoulder. “I’ve been working with him the last few weeks to help him overcome his shyness and look at him now. He’s interviewing ya, making ya comfortable, and asking ya questions like a proper manager should. He’d have been a nervous wreck if we’d tried this a month ago.”
“She’s right.” Thomas admitted with a shrug. “Also, a month ago I wouldn’t have been able to… do… this!” He jabbed at Talon’s side where he knew she was ticklish. However, without even looking in his direction, the griffon managed to catch his wrist and hold him in place.
“Good try. Almost got me that time.” Talon nodded and released his wrist, never taking her eyes off the mare across from her. “But you see my point,” she addressed Silver. “You’re worried about sexual prowess, but the thing we work on most in the harem business is confidence. Just be confident in being yourself around your Princess, while also making sure your Princess is comfortable in being herself around you. After that, everything else just falls into place.”
It warmed Thomas’ heart to see the worry fade from Silver’s face.
“Thank you, Lady Talon.”
“Who said you could call me that?” Talon asked irately, bringing on a new wave of panic in the mare. “Didn’t I say to call me Tali if my boss liked ya?” She turned to Thomas. “Well. What’s the verdict?”
Caught off guard, Thomas glanced nervously between Talon and Silver. When he’d calmed down enough to set his mind in order, he leaned forward and gave the mare a warm smile. “As far as first interviews go, I’d have to say that I like what I see.”
“Y-you mean…” Silver’s lip quivered as her excitement threatened to boil over and send her flying around the room. She wouldn’t do that because her parents raised a Lady, not a wild animal. She was on the edge though, and so was her mane. “Ohmygosh. Ohmygosh. Ohmygosh.”
“Don’t get your pubes in a knot, sweet wings.” Talon dissuaded, causing both the mare’s mood and mane to deflate. “Chimp thinks you’re cute and I wouldn’t mind taking you for a little romp myself, but that’s not enough to earn ya the job. There’s one last pony to consider and her opinion matters just a tiny bit more than ours,” Talon emphasized by holding her claw up and creating a tiny space between her clawed thumb and forefinger.
“Naturally,” Silver agreed as she recomposed herself in her seat. “It was silly of me to expect to earn this job after a single interview. That said, when can I expect the second?”
Thomas and Talon faced one another as she gestured under the table for him to answer. Never thought interviews would require so much improv on this side of the table. He mused as he accepted the burden of his role with dignity and gave Silver her answer. “When we next see Luna, we’ll tell her about our meeting and see where she wants to take things from there.”
*Thump-thump*
“And three guesses where we’re going right now.” Thomas added cheerfully.
They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways at the door. Luna was so excited to hear about the interview that she couldn’t decide if she’d rather buck or have them explain. They compromised at doing both at once. It wasn’t the most efficient conversation, but the concubines were able to address the major points of interest. Silver Bell was a bat pony and naturally idolized Luna. While she was easily flustered by the mentioning of sex, it may have just been a response to the crass way Talon went about it. She was an aristocrat, and with the exception of seemingly disliking Moonlight for some reason, had given no indication that she was full of herself; proud without the need to look down on others. Once they’d finished, and finished, Luna knew the next step to take.
Dusk had come and Thomas let the covers slide from his bare chest as he pulled himself up to stretch. Luna stirred beside him and he smiled down at her. She was so lovely, and it was almost painful to leave her side for the chill against his bare skin. It was only when he heard the steady clopping of hooves against the floor that the warmth and relaxation of the moment evaporated.
Thomas straightened to attention in the bed and saw Silver standing a little ways from the door. A few days ago, Luna had explained that Silver Bell was to be given a crash course in her attendant duties and put on the job at the earliest opportunity. A pity no one saw fit to tell me when exactly that would be, Thomas thought sarcastically. Also, Talon had taken the liberty of sleeping in her own bed yesterday, leaving the poor human without her support, hopefully unintentionally.
The first thing he noticed about Silver was that she was wearing an especially frilly maid’s outfit with an especially short skirt that left her bottom only half covered and a form fitting bust. Her hands were by her side in a military posture. Her leathery bat wings fidgeted behind her as she stared nervously back at him. Behind her stood the pegasus stallion Red Amber, also in a short skirted maid’s uniform for reasons Thomas wasn’t sure that he wanted to know.
Luna finally rose beside Thomas, blocking his view of the newcomers with her ample body as she stretched and yawned. “Good morning,” she mumbled groggily as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
“GOOD MORNING, YOUR HIGHNESS!” Silver barked, to which Amber gently coughed behind her. “I mean… good morning, Your Highness,” she repeated much more gently.
“So it is,” Luna murmured as she pulled the covers from her legs and slid off the bed just in front of Silver.
When the Princess moved aside to pop her back, Thomas saw Silver gawking at the alicorn’s naked form. He could hardly blame her as he’d done the same the first time he’d seen her like this. That said, Thomas couldn’t help but feel a little uncomfortable at the way she was staring at his mare. As he reflected on how strangely possessive that thought was, Silver began to follow Luna as she moved across the room toward the dresser and closet, staying exactly five steps behind the Princess at all times, never losing that dumbstruck look of hers. Amber followed Silver, but at a much more casual pace.
Luna stopped and her train of followers did the same. She turned around and stared down at Silver with a neutral glare, folding her arms under her chest and pushing up her breast, which Silver’s eyes were naturally drawn to. “Silver Bell,” Luna said evenly.
“Yes, Your Highness.” Silver replied calmly, in spite of the fact that she was sweating bullets. The bat pony managed to remain at attention as she could practically feel the way Luna’s eyes were crawling across her. She imagined the Princess to be judging every strand of hair that was out of place.
“The last of the Bell House to serve me was Evening Bell,” Luna spoke regally. “Your direct ancestor, if I am not mistaken.”
Silver blinked in surprise. “Y-yes, Your Highness.” *Gulp* “If I might be so bold, how did you know?”
Luna smiled gently, causing Silver to briefly relax. “I can see it in your blood.”
“M-my blood, Your Highness?” Silver questioned.
“Your ancestry is as plain as any book for those who know how to read. You even have her eyes.” Luna continued to smile, though her eyes looked on with sadness. “Alas, it has been so many centuries since I have known the pleasurable company of your proud lineage. Do you think, young Silver Bell,” Luna’s expression turned cautiously optimistic, “that you would wish to witness my raising of the moon and stars?”
It took a moment to unfreeze Silver. Thomas seized the opportunity to jump out of bed and slip on his uniform. When she finally came to, the mare could do nothing but blurt “YES!”
“Well then,” Luna giggled as she batted her eyelids suggestively. “Surely I would be a poor host if I failed to entertain such an eager audience.” With that, naked as the day she was born, Luna, pushed the door to the balcony open and strode out with the regal confidence of a Princess going to court.
When it looked like Silver had lost her nerve, Thomas snuck up behind her and gently coughed to get her attention. Remembering herself, she had to struggle not to take flight as she sprinted across the room to meet Luna’s invitation. At meeting Amber’s eyes, Thomas was rewarded with an approving nod for staying behind. Though he was still learning the more subtle nuances of pony culture and courtship, even he could tell when some private bonding time was called for.
“Your Highness,” Silver greeted as she came up to Luna’s side, her wings fidgeting in nervous anticipation.
The last rays of the sun had disappeared over the horizon, leading to one last flash and the orange sky turned a dim black. The darkness lasted all of an instant before Luna’s horn glowed and the night sky was illuminated by the pristine sphere that was her name’s sake. The majestic orb slowly peaked out over the horizon and continued a steady climb until it was fully visible for all to see.
Luna stole a brief smile at her companion to find her utterly slack jawed at the sight before her. Thoroughly pleased with herself, Luna continued her machinations with a wave of her hand and dim lights grew in the void until the night’s sky looked as though it were full of motionless fireflies. The Princess of the Night could practically feel the bat pony’s excitement radiating off her as the little mare’s wings fidgeted to stay closed. No doubt the poor mare was worried about embarrassing herself on her first night on the job, so Luna decided a distraction was in order.
“Silver.”
“Y-yes, Princess?” Silver turned her full attention onto the naked alicorn beside her.
“What say you of this evening’s canvas?” Luna gestured out to the horizon. “Speak honestly, as I find false praise to be most distasteful.”
Silver nodded rapidly, taking the warning very seriously as she looked once more to the night’s sky. “My parents had always told me that the nights had lost so much of their beauty in your absence. Even old records from that era can confirm as much. However, though this was something we all just took as a given, I don’t think I really understood it. I mean, it was something everypony said, so why bother questioning it.” She grinned. “I just liked looking up at the stars when I needed some time to think. And then…” she sighed. “On the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, I couldn’t tear my eyes away.”
“Oh?” Luna raised a brow in intrigue.
“The stars… I never imagined they could shine so brightly.” Silver exhaled in awe.
“You say you would gaze at the stars when you needed to think,” Luna said, not meeting Silver’s eyes. “What do you know of the constellations?”
“I know that you crafted each one by hand to commemorate the great heroes of old.” Silver beamed brightly and pointed up. “There! There’s Aquila, the majestic phoenix who guided lost sailors fleeing Trottingham to the Emerald Isles. And there!” She excitedly pointed again. “That’s Virgo, the earth pony goddess who taught them the secrets of their innate magic and made them the masters of the land and harvest.”
“Virgo is still remembered?” Luna asked. “Even a millennia ago one would be hard pressed to point her out in the sky, let alone know her story.”
“You must not have kept very knowledgeable company,” Silver laughed before she remembered who she was speaking to. “I meant no disrespect, Your Highness! I only meant that-”
“Be still, little mare.” Luna held out her hand haltingly. “I know full well there was no malice in your intent. I was only complimenting your exceptional awareness of one of our more underrated pieces.”
It took a second before Silver felt secure enough to speak once more. “Is… is it true what they say?”
“About?”
“That Virgo was an… an alicorn?” Silver asked timidly.
Luna fixed the bat pony with an unreadable expression. “What do you think?”
Silver lowered her gaze and donned a contemplative expression. “I think… she was not.”
“And what makes you say that?”
Silver looked up to the constellation in question. “For one, none of the ancient stories have ever depicted her as anything but an earth pony. Even you,” she gestured upward, “gave her none of an alicorn’s extra parts.” A brief pause followed and Silver sensed Luna was not yet satisfied. “There’s little to no records of what actually happened, but I think she was just an exceptionally brilliant mare who taught her genius to her tribe. From there, her story became a legend and earth ponies began praying to her in their bleakest hours.”
“A very sensible conclusion, young Silver,” Luna congratulated. “I much prefer your version, as it gives hope that ponies are still strong enough to stand on their own and do for themselves, even without alicorn assistance.”
They were hardly whispering, and since Amber showed no signs of being disinterested, Thomas saw no harm in listening in to the two mares talk astronomy and myth. It fascinated the human to know that the constellations were based more on fact than myth. Granted that most myths tended to have some basis in reality, but it was still interesting to think that these legends were more fact than fairytale. However, despite his fascination with these stories and the way Silver was relaxing as the mares talked shop, Thomas couldn’t help but notice the way Luna had effectively danced around and evaded Silver’s question about Virgo being an alicorn. Because that’s not remotely suspicious.
Luna and Silver continued to discuss constellations as they returned indoors, the autumn air evident as Luna’s nipples stood erect. However, Silver seemed not to noticed as she kept her eyes squarely on Luna’s face as she continued to regale the Princess with her masterful knowledge of astronomy. It warmed the bat pony’s heart to see her Princess enjoying herself so much that she was taken completely off guard when the alicorn bent down and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.
As Silver’s cheeks turned bright red and Luna giggled at her expense, Thomas was left to wonder if it was normal for ponies in situations like this to whistle like a tea kettle as steam literally shot from their ears.
Silver had been utterly stupefied. The poor thing had to miss helping Luna bathe, something the Princess had been looking forward to sharing. When Silver returned to the land of the living, by way of having her tail pulled, Amber gently reminded the mare that she had a job to do and she immediately bolted for the dresser to select Luna’s dress for the evening.
“So,” Thomas began in a low whisper so as not to draw unnecessary attention to himself. He was standing beside Amber while they both watched Silver hover a bit to help Luna slip her arms and wings into the sleeves. As she did, the short skirt combined with the lack of undergarments left Thomas unable to look anywhere else. “I see you’re dressed like a maid.”
“Yeah.” Amber shrugged casually, apparently not noticing the implied question.
“Any particular reason why?”
“What d’ya mean? Doesn’t this outfit look good on me?” Amber asked with utmost sincerity.
Thomas stared critically at the stallion. His eyes scanned along the dress, past the frills, (unsuccessfully) skipping the too short skirt before he saw anything, until finally settling on the stallion’s awaiting expression. “I’m sure your wife will love it.” He deadpanned.
“I’m not married.” Amber replied matter-of-factly, staring at Thomas like he’d just said that the Princesses were secretly dudes. “But you think my herd mates’ll like it?”
“That too,” Thomas said flatly before turning his attention to the dressing buxom amazon Princess and the smaller mare obliviously giving the guys a free peep show. “I take it you’re here to keep an eye on her.”
“And to make sure you-”
“Um, Sir Thomas?” Silver whispered, unintentionally cutting the stallion off.
The males turned to survey the mares. Luna, now fully dressed, had her back turned to the scene as she stared out through the opened window. The matter at hand was hovering by the vanity. Silver gestured nervously between the various bits of regalia, held aloft in Luna’s magic, everything from the crown to the horse shoes. Her face expressed the question that she didn’t know in what order to dress Luna in her regalia.
Amber gently elbowed Thomas who got the hint quickly. Though he’d never been given any impression that it really mattered, Thomas pointed at the top of his head before dropping his hand down his torso. Silver nodded appreciatively as she reverently took Luna’s crown to dress her from head to hoof.
“And make sure you do that, basically,” Amber finished with a satisfied half smile. “Generally speaking, ponies new on the job like a little oversight from those in charge. It makes them more secure to know there’s somepony around to answer questions, and it helps establish you as the trusted leader. Good bonding experience overall.”
“Oh,” Thomas said flatly as it began to sink in that, next to Luna, he was the boss around here. “So… she has to do whatever I say?”
“Within reason,” Amber cautioned. “But yes. Although, considering just how off-the-books this particular job is, reason is kinda left open to interpretation.”
“How open are we talking?” Thomas asked, becoming increasingly nervous of this whole being-in-charge thing.
“I heard Sun Dancer had Steel Hoof get on his hands and knees for a whole day while she used him as a mobile throne; made him eat like a dog and everything.”
“That’s horrible,” Thomas said in disgust. “How could she just humiliate him like that?” And are you guys expecting me to do stuff like that?
“That’s not even the worst part.” Amber smirked. “The worst part is that he was so turned on by the whole thing and she didn’t let him get off all day.”
“Do what now?”
“When it was over, she thought she’d do him a favor and let him mount her that night, and boy let me tell you!” Amber shook his head as he remembered. “Sun Dancer learned the hard way why waving a flag in front of a bull is such a popular minotaur expression. Filly couldn’t walk straight for a week.”
“Ahem,” Luna coughed gently, drawing all attention to herself and the mare in front of her. Luna’s leg was raised as Silver knelt down with the Princess’ gem encrusted hoof guards, ready to be slipped on. However the smaller mare was frozen stiff, her face sheet white as her eyes focused intently on Thomas.
Oh crap. She heard everything, didn’t she?
A small squeak was all the answer Thomas needed. He could practically see the scenarios playing out in her mind and it filled him with revulsion to think that he was expected to carry out such things that were causing her such obvious distress.
“I have no intention of doing that to you.” Thomas asserted, hoping to show through his tone that this was something that he would not compromise on. “I’m not going to abuse or do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. That’s not my job. In fact, so long as you’re here, my only job is to make sure we can all be comfortable with each other. As far as I can tell, that means getting along and being, before anything else, well, friends.” That last part felt a little cliché, but Thomas hoped the theme of the show would add to his credibility.
Sure enough, Silver visibly relaxed. She mouthed a silent “thank you” before returning to her work.
“Well said, dearest Thomas.” Luna nodded as she stared at him out of the corner of her eye. “However, I do not think I need to remind you that Silver Bell is not the only mare who’s comfort you will be attending to, do I?”
“Another mare?” Thomas frowned as he made a show of turning his head to survey the room. “I don’t see any other mares. Are you hiding her somewhere?”
Luna mock-glared back at Thomas while Silver finished her task.
Thomas pulled the waist band of his loincloth out before letting it snap back into place with a slight sting. “I don’t think she’s hiding in there. What about you Amber? You hiding a mare in that dress of yours?”
Amber caught on quickly and grinned as he set about patting himself down. “Nope. Don’t think so. And I didn’t see anything up Silver’s skirt either.”
Cheeks burning with embarrassment, Silver shot Amber a venomous look, but he didn’t seem to care.
“Then,” Thomas shrugged with a defeated sigh, “I guess there’s just one pony’s dress we haven’t checked that a mare could hide under.” In the time it took to blink, Luna had manifested in front of the human. There was no flash from a teleport spell. She just appeared there, looming over him with her ample might. Her plentiful bosom blocked out the lights directly overhead and cast his small frame in her immense shadow. Amber, treacherous bastard he was, took several quick steps to the side, leaving Thomas alone.
“So,” Luna began inquisitively. “The little human has jokes, does he?” She leered down at him, her stern visage briefly broken by a quick wink and smirk before turning hard as stone. Sensing his confusion, Luna subtly tilted her head in the direction of the equally confused Silver.
Figuring that Luna was up to something, Thomas decided to play along. “Y-Your Highness?” Thomas stuttered with fairly convincing fear. “I… I meant no offense.”
“No offense?” Luna scowled, lifting her head high to look down her nose at the human. “Yet you still make such vulgar suggestions in our royal presence. No offense, indeed,” she hissed.
“Please, Luna.” Thomas held out his hands pleadingly. “I assure you, I-”
“Your Highness.” Silver cut in. She squirmed as Luna slowly turned around to face the smaller mare, fixing her with a neutral stare. Even so, Silver bowed at a 45 degree angle so as not to meet what she perceived as her Princess’ disapproving stare. “Forgive my interruption, but I do not believe Sir Thomas meant any ill intent with his remarks.”
“Oh?” Luna inquired with interest. “You don’t, do you?”
“No, Your Highness.” Silver audibly inhaled. “I believe Sir Thomas was trying to make a joke to lighten the mood. It was for my sake, Your Highness. Please don’t punish him. If there is any punishing to be had, then I humbly volunteer.”
Keeping her face free of expression, Luna slowly turned back around until she faced Thomas, her back once more to Silver. Certain that her secret was safe, Luna beamed brightly down at the human, her grin growing to where her ears would be if she were human as her body shook in excitement. Thomas couldn’t help but smile back, happy that Luna was so happy with Silver’s remarks. Quickly she composed herself and began speaking with an even tone. “Very well. Thy transgressions shall be forgiven this time, Sir Thomas. Thank the nice mare for coming to thine aid, as any mare should do for her stallion.”
Silver’s ears perked and she risked glancing up to see if she had heard the Princess correctly. Princess Luna was still facing away, but she did manage to catch Sir Thomas grinning before he met her eyes and wiped his face clean. There was a similar reaction with Sir Amber, leaving her with far too many questions.
“Sir Thomas?” Luna asked regally. “Will thou be joining us for breakfast this morn?”
Catching Amber gesturing at Silver, Thomas smiled and bowed to Luna. “Forgive me, my Princess. But I feel I have been most neglectful of Lady Silver since she came to the castle. It would be most rude if I allowed her to eat alone.”
“Y-you flatter me, Sir Thomas,” Silver stuttered. “But I’m afraid I can’t allow you to ignore a royal invitation like-”
“So be it.” Luna responded casually as she continued to give Silver the cold shoulder. "Thou may dine as thou sees fit. Come along, Sir Amber.” She motioned for him to follow as she made for the door. “We trust a stallion such as thyself will not neglect our royal invitation.”
“Of course not, Your Highness.” Amber trotted along beside Luna, not missing a beat.
The older ponies departed and the door closed behind them. Thus the two awkward young people, one nearly naked and the other in a skimpy maid’s uniform, found themselves alone together. Realizing what he’d gotten himself into, Thomas concluded that this was not his most thought out plan.
“So,” Thomas started awkwardly, “How’s life at the castle treating you so far?”
“G-good,” Silver blurted. “It’s good. Very good.” She cleared her throat. “Senior Concubine Lady Sun Dancer came by yesterday and volunteered to let me practice dressing her as she gave me various pointers.”
“Well that was nice of her,” Thomas remarked simply, grateful they were managing to make conversation on their own so far.
“Well, I say ‘volunteered’ but I don’t think I really had a choice in the matter.” Silver laughed nervously. “She was, um…”
“Scary?” Thomas offered.
“Y-yes, Sir Thomas. I suppose you could say that.”
“Please.” Thomas held up his hand. “Could we drop the ‘Sir’ thing? Just call me Thomas.”
“But that would be terribly inappropriate, Sir Thomas.” She grinned. “I don’t want to cause any offense.”
Thomas gave a mischievous smile. “Remember when I said I wasn’t going to order you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with? I’m amending that to only when it’s necessary. And right now I’m asking, not ordering, for you to just call me Thomas when there’s no one else around, okay? That way we’re just keeping up appearances.”
“I… suppose that would be fine… Thomas.” Silver nervously watched his reaction for any sign of disapproval. When none came, she let out a small sigh of relief, only to tense up again when her stomach growled.
Thomas covered his mouth to hide his snicker at her expense. “I don’t suppose you’d be up to accepting my invitation to breakfast?”
“Invitation?” Silver echoed. “Forgive my ignorance, but in Prance, along with most places in Equestria, it is traditionally the mares who ask the stallions out to such things.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not a stallion.” Thomas replied casually. “A male human is called a man, remember? And where I’m from, the man asks the woman out to eat.”
“But I’m not a… woe-man,” Silver said, tasting the odd words in her mouth. “So how does that work?” Her words were punctuated with another complaint from her stomach.
“Any way we want, preferably with getting some food in us as quickly as possible.” Thomas gestured to the door. Silver agreed and they were off, only for things to get awkward again after meeting up with Moonlight at the door. They were nearly at chow hall before anyone worked up the nerve to speak.
“I noticed you didn’t leave with the Princess this morning,” Moonlight observed. She silently congratulated herself for having somehow anticipated this and only having a small meal earlier.
“Senior Concubine Thomas was just taking me out for breakfast,” Silver replied proudly, not meeting Moonlight’s eyes as she glanced away casually. “It’s a human tradition.”
“I’m aware of that,” Moonlight responded evenly.
“You are?” Silver whirled on the guard mare. “How?”
Moonlight smirked back at the smaller mare. “Because on my day off, Sir Thomas asked me to accompany him on a date,” she paused, “with Princess Luna.”
Silver looked like she was suffering another case of temporary-brain-shutdown.
“Then again,” Moonlight continued, “We were only going out as friends. Isn’t that what’s happening now, he’s asking you out as a friend?”
“I…” Silver as her wings ruffled in agitation, having not expected to be outmaneuvered by this other mare. “I suppose that might be accurate.”
“On the other hand,” Moonlight picked up again, pretending not to notice how Silver was balling her hands into fists. “I was treated to a fancy dinner in Canterlot while you’re just getting-”
“Hey now!” Thomas held his hand out between the two mares, stopping them in their tracks. “What are you two on about?”
Both mares relented the moment Thomas spoke and each took a step back. Moonlight in particular looked both crestfallen and confused by her own behavior.
Silver was the first to break the silence. “Private Moonlight Shield. I apologize for the way I spoke. It was most unladylike.”
Moonlight grimaced and nodded back. “I’m sorry too. My mothers would have tanned my flank if they caught me behaving like some spoiled foal.”
“Sounds like you got off lucky,” Silver added with a smile. “My dame would bind my wings whenever she caught me misbehaving.”
“That’s nothing,” Moonlight challenged. “My sire had this spoon that he’d use to…”
As the mares continued to swap stories on the various ways their parents would punish them, each seeming to one up the other in a friendly competition, Thomas couldn’t help but wonder how things had resolved so quickly.
“Hey guys,” Talon called as she flew through the hall and landed beside them. Everyone exchanged polite greetings before she continued. “You weren’t planning on doing something without me, I hope.”
“These two, maybe.” Thomas gestured to the mares. “I was waiting for the life of the party to show up.”
Talon just smirked at him. “No one likes a brownnoser, chimp.”
“Considering our line of work, I respectfully disagree,” Thomas retorted.
“Touché.” Talon nodded in approval. “Anyway, let’s stop standing around and get to some munchies,” she announced. The group immediately fell into formation with Thomas and Talon in front, with Silver following close behind and Moonlight taking up the rear. “Amby filled me in.” Talon whispered into the human’s ear. “Smart thinking with the semi-private meal.”
“Not entirely my idea,” Thomas admitted in a hushed voice, though he wondered how effective it really was considering what had happened earlier.
After grabbing what they wanted and finding their usual table, Moonlight recounted to Silver the tale of the first time she saw Luna and how it had inspired her to join the night guard. Silver gave the mare a much warmer smile as they started their meals. Thomas had grabbed a short stack of pancakes, Moonlight only had a single orange, Talon had an assortment of fish and cereal, and Silver had a large plate of sausages, eggs, and a banana.
“I thought the Princesses were the only ponies that ate meat,” Thomas remembered.
“Not at all,” Silver answered proudly. “Bat ponies have never shied away from our omnivorous nature. Though we tend to prefer fruits, vegetables and other plants, a little bit of protein is a necessary part of our diet.”
“I think ‘little bit’ means something different where you’re from.” Talon added as she eyed Silver’s plate, licking her beak. “You going to eat all that?”
“Trade you for a fish.” Silver offered, and the deal was struck.
In time, the conversation turned to Thomas and his peculiar human traditions. Silver was especially shocked when she learned the sex ratio of humans was so even and that humans were normally monogamous.
“So, given the nature of your land’s culture, I suppose it must have been rather difficult for you to come to terms with this aspect of Equestrian society,” she noted sympathetically.
“Yes, but for different reasons than you’re thinking,” Thomas replied. “It’s actually been pretty low on my priorities until just recently. I’m still not fully comfortable with the general lack of clothing thing you guys have going on.”
“Oh,” Silver said in realization. “So that’s why Lady Sun Dancer advised me to wear this outfit.”
“That’d be my guess,” Thomas agreed, even as he wondered if Sun Dancer had also picked out the short skirt. “Did she say anything else?”
Silver gulped nervously. “She… she made sure that I understood how inappropriate it would be for me to… to lift my tail to either you or the Princess on my first day on the job.”
“That would probably be Tali’s fault,” Moonlight deadpanned. “We took Thomas shopping for clothes a while back and she actually raised it high enough for all to see.”
“No!” Silver gasped.
“In the middle of the department store,” Moonlight continued. “In the little colt’s section.”
Silver snapped her head around to face the griffon, glaring at her in shock.
“I might have gotten a little carried away,” Talon admitted, averting her gaze in embarrassment. “And I said I was sorry. Also, aren’t you a little curious why we were in the colt’s section in the first place?”
Silver blinked and glanced between her three companions. “You were buying clothes?” she asked uncertainly. When no one answered right away, her gaze lingered on Thomas and it came to her. “For you?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Thomas rolled his eyes as he huffed in annoyance as he braced himself for the snickers. “Let’s all laugh at the shorty short -short human.”
“I wasn’t going to laugh,” Silver said. The expression on her face suggested she was offended by the mere idea. “I’m the last pony to go around mocking somepony for their height.”
“Oh.” Thomas realized his mistake. “Sorry for that.”
“Apology accepted.” Silver said with a soft smile. “Although…”
“If you’re asking how I compare to other humans, the answer is about average.” Thomas answered for her. “Maybe I’m a little on the short side, though. That said, finding someone as tall as the average pony is pretty rare. And finding someone as big as the Princesses, any of them, is something you only read about in record books.”
“Fascinating,” Silver smiled eagerly as she prodded him for more details about where he grew up, especially what kind of music he liked.
They continued their conversation on past breakfast and all the way back to Luna’s room. Just as they were about to enter, Talon and Moonlight exchanged knowing looks and smiled in silent understanding. From there they retook their seats at the table from their first interview, only this time Moonlight sat down with them as equals.
“Generally I liked a lot of the classical stuff, but I don’t really have a favorite genre,” Thomas admitted. “I just listen to whatever sounds good. Anyway, I’m still curious about what Sun Dancer said.”
Silver grimaced, knowing this next part would be especially embarrassing, but gave a relenting sigh. “Well, I asked what things I could do to, you know, impress Princess Luna.”
“And what did she say?” Thomas asked curiously as the others leaned in.
“She said,” *Gulp* “She said that it wasn’t her job to tell me that. That… that it was yours,” Silver admitted, fixing an anxious stare at Thomas. “Then she… said that you probably won’t tell me until after I’ve impressed you.”
“That is how these things usually work.” Talon explained. “Ya gotta prove yourself to the rest of us before we decide you’re worth the Princess’ time.”
“Does this really make you so nervous?” Moonlight inquired. “I thought you would have been ready to face any of the Princess’ current lovers.”
“I thought I was,” Silver confessed. “I went over it in my head so many times. I go in, cordially deliver my request to join the harem, and slowly warm up to the group until I’m eventually accepted. But you…” she trailed off, gesturing at both Thomas and Talon. “You’re just so different from what I’d expected.”
“How so?” Talon asked, narrowing her eyes at the bat pony.
“Well,” Silver chuckled, “For starters, I had expected there to be more ponies already in the harem.”
“There were three others,” Thomas explained, “but they didn’t work out so well.”
“So I heard,” Silver nodded. “The race thing isn’t really an issue for me, if that’s what you’re worried about. What’s really throwing me for a loop is your, well, personalities.”
“Ah,” Talon sighed knowingly. “I get it. You were expecting us to be prim and proper nobility.” She affected a less-than-complimentary imitation of the average noble.
“In a manner of speaking, yes.” Silver agreed, paying no mind to Talon’s antics. “I was told that the Princesses had a variety of tastes, but I hadn’t expected you to be,” she gestured impotently, “this varied.”
Talon chortled, even as the mare shivered with worry that she’d inadvertently caused some offense. “Well I’m happy to disappoint, because I know from personal experience just how varied the Princess’ tastes can really be. See, I’m actually one of Leste’s bed warmers. I’m just stabled with Luna at the moment because this little guy still has some confidence issues of his own to work out.”
Silver blinked and slowly turned her head to face Thomas.
“You’re worried aren’t you?” Thomas said as more of a statement than a question. “You’re a long way from home and there’s probably a lot of pressure on you to do this. You want to, obviously. Just being around Luna makes you want to do something to make her smile. But at the same time you can’t help but worry you’re not good enough.” Thomas offered the bat pony a wry smile. “I think we’ve got a lot in common.”
“I…” Silver hesitated. “Thank you.”
“I don’t suppose you had any other plans this evening?” Thomas asked.
“Not presently,” Silver smiled, bracing herself for the rush of being asked out by a stallion once more. “Why do you ask?”
Thomas looked to the others, who nodded their approval. “Care to hang out?”
Silver agreed and eagerly accompanied them on the first course of their nightly routine. That enthusiasm quickly faded when it turned out they were just working out. She managed to do more reps at higher weights than Thomas, but Talon still disapproved of her poor performance, saying she’d need to do a lot more to build up her endurance. Taking the griffon’s words to heart, Silver remained at the gym and opted out of joining them with Moonlight’s writing, saying that it was still too early for such involvement, which Moonlight agreed with.
They parted amicably, agreeing that this had all been a most promising first day on the job.
“You’re sure about this?” Thomas hissed nervously at Talon, straightening his clothes in the mirror of the changing room. Today his outfit consisted of an assortment of loose rags in place of a shirt and trousers, all of which looked like they could fall from his body at any moment.
“Sure I’m sure,” Talon said as she helped pat down the wrinkles along his sides. “You remember the script, right?”
Thomas looked down at the small stack of papers on the counter, gulping as he felt hours of memorization slip away. “I, uh…”
“Listen,” Talon said firmly. She set her claws on his shoulders and forced him to look at his reflection while she stood behind him in a leather apron. “I get it. This is your first role play and you’re a little nervous. We’ve all been there.”
“What if I mess up? I mean, I barely even remember…”
“Line memorization doesn’t matter,” Talon assured him. “Those were more of guidelines anyway. What matters is your character. You remember that much at least, right?”
Thomas nodded slowly, mentally going over each of the characters described in the script.
“Just keep telling yourself that it’s just Luna. You’ve done kinky stuff with her before. This might be new ground, but not that new.”
“Yeah, but why this and why now?” Thomas asked desperately.
“Why this?” Talon shrugged. “Don’t know. Maybe she’s been thinking about it for a while and just can’t wait anymore. I mean, ya had to know what those clothes were really for, right.”
“Maybe, but these aren’t those clothes,” Thomas protested as he tugged at the rags.
“As for why now, I’m betting she’s just really excited about sweet wings.”
“It’s only been like two days,” Thomas whined. “Was she this excited about her last attendants?”
“Not really.” Talon shrugged again as she brushed down a few more wrinkles. “Way I hear it, she didn’t start to get her libido back until you turned up. In short, you basically brought this on yourself.”
“Happy days,” Thomas deadpanned.
Talon rolled her eyes. “Just stay here, get yourself in character, and wait for your cue. I’ll go out and get her started.”
Seeing no way out, Thomas gave Talon a nod and watched her leave.
**********
Sitting on her knees in the middle of the room was an exceptionally tall and dark colored mare. She was not an alicorn, despite her horn and the illusion of leathery bat wings. And she was most certainly not a Princess, what with her regalia stored away. Instead, a single leather apron, because bat ponies hunted wild animals, covered her chest and nothing else. Upon the red hide of the apron was a yellow crescent moon, the sigil of an ancient clan of bat ponies, the Streaks, so named for their exceptional flight skills. Though simple and unimpressive to an outsider, this leather apron was once comparable to a crown in how it was worn by the bat pony chief. As they had little wealth to spend on much else, the leather made from hunting wild animals became a symbol of power and authority.
Dark Night was her name; to her subjects she was known as Lady Night. Thomas had withheld any commentary on how this and other names Luna had chosen all sounded like they were from some cheesy porno, guessing that was probably the intent. She sat in the traditional thatch hut of her clan, complete with wooden pillars, soft wood floors, and a Princess sized bed covered in furs.
Everything was completely and totally authentic, courtesy of Fantastic Fantasies, a local resort which offered numerous rooms enchanted to resemble anything the paying customer desired to carry out their fantasies. Unsurprisingly, they were not strangers to catering to the desires of a Princess. What was surprising was that the attendants and staff seemed to be under the impression that it was unusual for their clients to use these rooms for sex, rather than a cheaper alternative to an expensive beach vacation or something.
Hearing the click of the lock, Dark Night looked up to see Sweet Buns, the griffon vassal who had come to pay her tribute. She also wore a leather apron, though minus the sigil to distinguish her lower ranking. They’d all agreed that changing form would be a bit too much, and so came as themselves. Sweet Buns gave an exaggerated bow, raising her tail playfully to the door, or rather the one way window she knew Thomas was watching from. Stifling a laugh, Dark Night accepted the gesture and motioned her forward.
Matching the mare’s sitting posture, Sweet Buns smiled nervously at her chief. “My Lady. Begging your pardon, but why have you summoned me?”
Night nodded sternly, fixing the griffon with a cold stare. “I am truly disappointed in you, Sweet. How dare you be tardy in this year’s tribute?”
Sweet bowed her head low. “Forgive me my Lady, but it has been a poor harvest this year.”
“Is that all you have to offer?” Night sneered. “Excuses? Do you truly think me so merciful that I would ever allow a house too lazy to prove its worthiness to remain in our clan?”
“No, my Lady!” Sweet pleaded. “I only ask that you consider my past loyalties, and…” she peeked up. “An alternative tribute?” She offered cautiously.
“Alternative?” Night raised an eyebrow in intrigue. “What did you have in mind?”
“In light of my past services to your rightful rule,” Sweet said, “I beg of you to consider taking something else of mine in place of our harvest.” Sweet looked up a little more, though still keeping her head to the ground. “I notice my Lady has been without an apprentice for some time,” she offered meekly.
“Ah,” Night sighed with an understanding grin. “You seek to offer up one of your own foals in place of the promised tribute.” She giggled sinisterly. “As an apology for your failure, you seek the honor of having one of your foals in service to the great Dark Night?” she asked, voice rising in ire.
“Mercy, my Lady!” Sweet begged. “I only…”
“But you are not wrong.” Night had calmed with unnerving speed. She absentmindedly examined her nails. “I have indeed been too long without a good servant. And your past loyalties have earned you my boon.” A cruel and toothy grin grew across her face.
Damn, this is intense, Thomas thought as he watched through the window.
“Then… you will accept my humble offer?” Sweet asked warily.
“Long Rod, I believe is his name,” Night said bluntly, still observing her nails.
“Rod?” Sweet asked, her voice quaking. “But he is so young.”
“Exactly.” Night grinned. “A perfect young colt to be molded to my desires.” She glanced down and gave the griffon a look that said this was beyond argument.
Because that’s not dark and creepy. Thomas grimaced as chills of both fear and excitement went up his spine. I mean, I suspected Luna was a shotacon or something, but this... this is just intense.
“Show him in.” Night ordered.
“Boy!” Sweet barked over her shoulder, still bowing.
Briefly startled, Thomas grabbed hold of the door knob, took a deep breath, and entered the scene.
Long Rod surveyed the room, pretending to be impressed by what his character would perceive as an unknown luxury before setting his sights on his fellow actors. It was so strange to have her stare so coldly at him, though he did notice an increase in heavy breathing the longer they looked into each other’s eyes. The spreading of her bat-like wings definitely added to her intimidation factor, but also betrayed just how excited she was. Then he noticed the griffon, rump high in the air as her raised tail left nothing to the imagination. Her sex, or rather her cunt, was winking at him as her butt wagged invitingly for him to take her now as she urgently motioned him forward. Not wanting to seem rude, Long Rod quickly walked forward and fell to his knees, lowering his head to the ground as he took his place by his, ugh, mother’s side as he regarded her look of mild disappointment. “You called for me, mother?”
Night let out a little whimper at seeing her beloved dressed as an impoverished colt. His outfit seemed so loose and tattered that one good gust of wind would probably render him naked. Thank Faust he talked me into letting him wear clothes for the first part, the mare thought as she barely managed to keep herself from flapping her wings to test that theory. There’d be time for that later. But stars above, was Tia right about how sexy clothing had become, even if it was only rags. Maybe I can get him to wear some of those new sexy socks for next time?
Thomas’ natural timidity fit the mood well and already she was imagining all the things she was going to do with this young and inexperienced colt who had basically been offered up to her as a slave in all but name. Most of all she noticed his smell. He’d gone to the gym to work up a good sweat earlier, and the spell suppressing his arousing fragrance had been removed long enough for the mare to be grateful that she was already sitting down, lest she fall over. Still, sitting only made it easier to grind her thighs together in an effort to ease her growing tension.
“This is him, my Lady,” Sweet said to the mare who was not Luna. As her claw glided across the boy’s back, she then reached around and grabbed hold of the boy’s backside, eliciting a cute yelp. “Though he is young and inexperienced, such a fit and malleable plot could only have come from good breeding” Her assault on his behind did not cease for a moment as she pleadingly looked up at the large mare. “Please. Will you show mercy on your humble servant and accept my son as your plaything?”
Plaything? Thomas questioned as he kept his eyes to the floor while trying to ignore the groping. Probably not the most era appropriate term, but whatever.
“Introduce yourself, boy!” Sweet scolded.
“My name is, mhn” he moaned as Sweet slipped her thumb into his tattered trousers and began teasing his crack. “My name is Long Rod, oh illustrious and radiant Dark Night.” Next time I’m picking the names.
“He appears to have some manners, at least.” Night smiled in approval. “Tell me, Rod, do you know why you are here?”
Trying to ignore the griffon’s claw, the man playing a colt tried to focus on the words of the mare playing his chief. “My mother says that I…” Rod quickly shot the griffon a dirty look, asking if he really had to say it.
Sweet just nodded and motioned with her head to continue.
“My mother, who cares so much for your respect that she gropes her own child in front of her chief…”
Sweet begrudgingly took the hint and reluctantly retracted her claw.
“… wished for me to apprentice to you, Lady Night, that I might learn to be a proper stallion.” Dear god, this is silly, but also kinda fun.
“A fair enough answer, young lad.” Night nodded. “Rod. Do you know how foals are made?”
“Mother…” Rod rolled his eyes. That will never not sound weird. “She says that foals are made when a stallion mounts a mare and sticks his massive cock into her cunt and pounds against her plot until he paints her insides white.” Rod smirked. If they’re gonna mess with me, then there’s no reason I can’t mess with them. Peeking up, he was quite satisfied to see Night let out a soft moan as she rubbed her thighs together. She was already so wet.
“Y-yes.” Night coughed to clear her throat. Though Thomas had broken character, his choice of words had really excited her. “Well, that is the basics, but what do you know of pleasing a mare?”
Still on his knees, Rod straightened up and met the larger mare’s eyes, trying to ignore the sexy way her nipples were poking through the apron. “Nothing, my Lady,” he said softly. “Mother Sweet Buns has told me nothing of the ways to caress a mare. I do not know how to tease a mare’s wings.” He held his hand up and gently stroked them across a pair of imaginary wings. “Do I start from the base with a firm grip, or do I delicately glide my fingers across the…” he glanced up at Dark Night’s bat wings. “Rim?” He settled as he continued pantomiming his words. “I do not know the proper way to grip a mare’s cutie marks, starting with gentle traces only to really dig my fingers in deep when things get really-”
“Enough!” Night shouted, cutting off the colt’s words. By her heavy panting it was clear that his words were affecting her. “I mean,” she continued, much more softly. “Face me, boy.” Thomas sat up straight, still on his knees as he craned his head back to look her in the eye. “You need not be ashamed of your ignorance in such matters. You are young, after all. However, that is what the apprenticeship is for.” She raised her pitch in mockery of Canterlot nobility. “Whereas a commoner’s apprentice learns the crass trades of smithing or wood working, those of us born to lead must aspire to higher schools of learnings, such as philosophy, arithmetic, and gentlestalliony manners. Do you understand?”
“I think so, Lady Night.” Rod nodded. I should probably look this up for future reference, he thought. This stuff sounds pretty cool. I wonder if they still do these kinds of apprenticeships today? Ya know, minus the whole ‘plaything’ thing.
“Under normal circumstances, you would be apprenticed to one of the same sex, but exceptions are common enough,” Night continued with an alluring smile. “In either case, it would be your task to carry out the whims of your master, to watch their every move, and learn from their experience.”
“Then am I to understand my task will be to watch my Lady’s round and delectable backside?” Rod smirked confidently. “Am I to keep my eyes on my Lady’s supple cheeks, catering to their whims day and night?”
Night leered warningly down at Rod, reminding him of his role.
“Er, I mean…” Rod stuttered, trying not to grin. “Naturally my Lady would have me carry her books, deliver her messages, and prepare her meals. I’m told I make a very mean sammich.”
Night cupped a hand to her muzzle, choking on her own laughter at the reminder. He’s making this awfully difficult, she mused. “All this and more, but these are not normal circumstances,” she continued, her expression darkening.
“What do you mean, my Lady?”
“Mistress!” Night hissed. “From this point forward, you will address me as your Mistress. Am I clear?”
“Y-yes, M-Mistress,” Rod answered, even as he felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment.
“Good,” Night nodded. “Now, stand for me, pet.”
Pet? Rod thought as he obeyed and stood to his full height. Even then he didn’t even come up to eye level with the mare. Sweet, in what he hoped was a breach of character for a mother and child, began nuzzling the human where his cutie mark should be. As Thomas remembered stories of the things ancient cultures did with their ‘apprentices’, certain these situations were similar, he prayed that Sweet Buns was not demonstrating behavior that was deemed socially acceptable at any time in history. As he could practically feel Luna, or rather Night, drinking him in with her eyes, she motioned him forward.
“You see, my Lady.” Sweet beamed proudly. “A fine specimen from fine stock,” she bragged.
“That remains to be seen,” Night said softly. She twirled her finger, ordering her pet to turn around until his back was to her. “Remain still and do not peek,” she ordered when he attempted to look over his shoulder. “Do you know, pet, what else masters do with their apprentices?”
“No, Mistress,” he replied, overcome by a mix of nervousness and excitement at not being able to see what she was doing. The ‘pet’ thing was a little degrading, but didn’t really do anything for him. At least I’m not a masochist. He thought this with a mix of pride and worry that this might compromise his role.
“Do you want to be a stallion?” Night whispered lustfully into Rod’s ear, her hands hovering over his, wafting at his loose garments and watching them sway.
“Stallion?” Rod asked. “I didn’t know you knew aging spells…” He deliberately hesitated long enough to earn a look of warning from both females. “Mistress.”
“No spells here, my pet,” Night said lustfully, smirking as she slipped her hand beneath his ragged shirt and slid her palm across his bare back. He was warm to the touch and the way his hairless skin bristled at her finger tips exciting her. “For your new station in service to us, we call upon one of the oldest forms of magic known to pony kind.”
We? Us? Rod thought, happy that she was really getting into it. He fidgeted nervously as he felt the large mare’s hand snake beneath his arm, around his front, and begin caressing his flat stomach. He didn’t have abs yet, but his pudge was almost entirely gone. “M-magic?” He stuttered as he felt his mare’s other hand slip down the back of his trousers where it gripped his bottom. “W-w-what magic… Mistress?”
Night leaned forward until her muzzle was less than an inch from her pet’s ear. “How fortunate you are,” she whispered sultrily. “If you’d been apprenticed to a stallion, he might have forced himself upon you with reckless abandon.” She smiled as she felt his heartbeat accelerate. “He might very well throw you upon the nearest patch of soft earth with not but the faintest amount of lubricant before he mounts you.” She chose this moment to take her middle finger and press gently against his puckered anus. “Why, we hear stories that the unicorns hold court with their apprentices sitting,” she stressed, “in their master’s laps.”
Talon, whose claw had disappeared beneath her while she pretended not to pleasure herself , went on alert when she saw Thomas grab Luna’s hand beneath his shirt. She studied his eyes carefully and concluded that he had not liked where the conversation had gone. Meeting Luna’s worried glare over his shoulder, Talon rapidly shook her head. Luna’s eyes widened when she realized she’d gone too far in bringing up something she knew Thomas was uncomfortable with, and quickly set to resolve the problem.
“But instead, you belong to me.” Night continued, sounding more concerned and maternal as she nuzzled his cheek with her own. “You are mine, my pet, my plaything to do with as I see fit. We shall teach you, oh fidgety one, the true extent of carnal pleasures. We, the luscious Dark Night, will savor our delectable little treat.” She nipped at his ear. Her reward was a much more pleasured whimper and a relaxation of his muscles beneath her touch.
“Treat?” Rod inquired. “Are… is the big strong mare going to gobble up this tiny little colt?”
Night smiled, taking his continuing to play along as a sign for her to go ahead. She removed her hands from her prize and set them back on her knees. “Your shirt. Remove it,” she purred.
Rod slipped his fingers beneath the bottom of his shirt and began to slowly remove it. He had no idea how guys were supposed to be sensual while undressing, so he moved slowly and gauged the mare’s voice for his performance. Talon certainly seemed quite pleased with whatever he was doing as her arm pumped beneath her.
“The trousers,” Night said hotly. “Present to us what your dame gave you. Present to us the tribute she now offers.”
Now this, Rod felt more familiar with. After watching Luna do it so many times, he’d be a disgrace if he didn’t have some idea. Slipping his thumbs beneath the waist line, Rod leaned forward and poked his rump out behind him. Swaying his bottom back and forth, as Luna had done for him so many times, he slowly slid the trousers down his legs as he sunk further to the ground. The sound of a whimpering mare behind him led him to believe he’d performed adequately. Slipping his feet through the pant legs, Rod stood back to his full height and turned to face his Mistress, his trousers held teasingly over his groin with one hand while the other pitifully tried to cover his chest. “Am I to your liking, Mistress?” he asked meekly.
Lip quivering with lust, the mare had to seal her lips to keep from drooling. Luna, not Night, honestly had no idea if that meekness was in character or if she’d really intimidated her concubine into being her sex toy, for real. She’d alluded to this fetish here and there, but to have it come to life, to have a colt-sized lover pretend to be a real foal ready to prostrate himself for his Mistress to ravage… it was nearly too much. Even the way he’d briefly glance up, only to avert his gaze at the last second was turning her on. She wasn’t certain if he was doing this deliberately or if this was just his natural nervousness, but either way she had to have him.
“Sweet Buns,” Night sighed longingly as she drank in the image before her.
“Yes, my Lady,” Sweet asked anxiously.
“I believe it would please me greatly to have you bear witness to your little colt, my new pet, be properly inducted into my service,” Night said with a perverse grin.
“My Lady!” Sweet said aghast. “You mean… you wish for me to watch you…” Her lower beak was quivering in horror, but it was an ineffective effort to hide her eagerness.
“You do wish to ensure that your tribute is properly accepted, do you not?” Night taunted. This was always a fun game to play with the nobility, to maneuver them exactly where she wanted them and watch them squirm. It was a perverse and guilty pleasure, but the current situation was now driving the mare to almost burn up from the excitement.
“Y-yes, my ngh,” Sweet groaned from her own stimulation. “My Lady. Please take him. Take this puny colt and ravage him to your heart’s content. Make him cry your name as you bring him to the height of ecstasy.”
Standing to her full height, Night parted her legs and rested her hands on her hips in an almost statuesque pose. Thomas, or rather the colt named Rod, was literally in her shadow now. He was powerless before her and they both knew it. She could have him do whatever she wanted, which she had every intention of doing, using him to satisfy one of her deepest cravings.
“Pet,” Night said sternly. “Look at your Mistress’ legs. What do you see?”
Rod did as instructed and looked down past the apron which hid her nethers. There he beheld the light glistening off a liquid running down the inside of her legs. It was hard not to smile knowing that he’d caused it. “It looks like something wet. Did you wet yourself, Mistress?”
Talon snickered.
Night stomped her hoof sternly, causing the others to flinch. “How dare you suggest your Mistress would do something so embarrassing?”
“I… uh… I’m sorry.” Rod stammered. “I didn’t mean to point out that you wet yourself while others watched.”
“Impertinent colt!” Night leaned down and roughly gripped her pet’s behind. “You do realize we are going to have to punish you now, right?”
“Y-yes, Mistress.” Rod could barely contain his grin. “How are you going to punish this disobedient colt who keeps talking about how you-”
“Quiet!” Night snapped. In a breach of character, she lit her horn and encased her pet in a field of magic, causing him to drop his remaining clothes. Levitating him by her side, she stomped over to the bed and tossed him onto the covers. Her now slit eyes leered dangerously at her prey while she loomed at the foot of the bed. “You forget yourself, little colt,” she hissed. Her hand caressed her own marehood while her eyes zeroed in on her prey’s excited rod. It wasn’t shaped like pony’s, but its small size helped maintain the illusion.
“I beg your forgiveness, Mistress,” Rod begged. “Please don’t be angry.”
“Hush your mouth,” Sweet ordered. “My Lady, I fear your new pet may not fully grasp his situation.”
“Agreed.” Night nodded to the griffon before returning her attention to her prey. Climbing onto the mattress, the mare remained on her knees as she stalked forward. “Rod. Little pet,” she teased, revealing a row of fangs as she grinned. “Do you know why you are truly here?”
Rod shook his head as he was once again eclipsed by the massive mare.
“You are here…” Night hissed darkly as she crawled forward, “as tribute to me!” Soon her knees were positioned on either side of the quivering human as she encompassed his entire field of vision. “From this day forth, you are now the property of Chief Dark Night. Thou art our property. Thy existence shall hence forth be dedicated to satisfying our every whim, and thou shalt begin here.” She removed her hand from her marehood, fingers dripping with her juices.
As the mare’s sex began winking longingly at him, the human leaned forward until he could feel the heat radiating off her nethers. Even the way her sweet lemony flavor wafted into his nostrils and across his tongue made his mouth water with desire. Gazing up past her enormous breasts, the human silently pleaded to be allowed his treat.
Night gave a slow nod. “You may begin.”
Thomas dove forward, burying his face in his mare’s pussy as her juices washed over his face. Out of habit, he grabbed hold of his mare’s thighs, right on her cutie marks, and gripped as tightly as he could for leverage as he pressed his mouth in as far is it would go before extending his tongue.
“Ahhhh!” Luna cried out in joy. She’d been hoping that her little lover would stick to the script and fumble about like a naïve amateur, but she couldn’t deny the way his tongue navigated across her inner walls, pressing all the right buttons. Shivering with ecstasy, she tried to focus on staying in character to keep from bursting too soon. “P-puny colt!” she spat. “Is that the best you can do?”
Thomas pulled back, taking a moment to breathe as he stared up at his mare in confusion. The look on her face showed how much she was enjoying herself, so why would she… oh.
“Is this a reflection on the lackluster education of colts nowadays?” Night sneered. “Thou cannot even please thine Mistress properly. Perhaps we were too hasty in accepting thee as tribute.” She rotated her hips in front of him, taunting him with her sex. “Perhaps I should banish thy family after all?”
“Please, Mistress.” Rod begged as pitifully as he could. “I’ll try harder. I promise. Just let my family stay.”
“Then prove thyself useful and make us cum!” Night ordered.
Nodding, Rod did as instructed. His licks were much sloppier than before as he deliberately missed several of the mare’s sensitive spots, but she cried out in pleasure all the same. Taking her moans as encouragement, Rod continued his oral assault, gradually improving his technique as he read her sounds of pleasure. She was grunting like an animal in heat and he knew it wouldn’t be much longer before he pushed her over the edge. Releasing his grip on her left cutie mark, he reached around until he found the silken threads of her tail, and gave a swift yank.
Luna’s voice caught in her throat as she mutedly cried out in orgasm. Her walls clenched around her little toy’s tongue as she felt her juices wash over his face and down her legs. She listened to the sounds of his frantic gulping and felt her nearly sated arousal rekindle into a blazing excitement. She needed more.
When the flood of juices finally ceased, Thomas swallowed his last mouthful and looked into Night’s eyes. “Did I do good, Mistress?”
“You,” she panted, “performed acceptably.” Luna’s horn lit once more and her apron was sent flying off to the side, leaving her breasts to freely heave as she breathed deeply. “But do not think this will be enough.”
“What do you-”
Thomas was cut off when Luna lunged down and seized his lips against her own. Wrapping one hand behind his head, Luna pressed her muzzle firmly into his face as she dominated his little mouth. The mixture of his natural flavor combined with her lingering mare cum was heavenly as she hummed and wetly smacked into his mouth. Her tiny lover tried to enter her mouth with his tongue but she wouldn’t allow it, forcing the tiny muscle into submission with her own tongue. Thomas offered only token resistance before going limp and allowing himself to be like putty in his mare’s grasp until finally she pulled away, a single strand of saliva connecting their mouths until it snapped.
“Thou art indeed a treat to be savored,” Night hummed. “Now comes the true test.” Not giving him time to react, Night grabbed hold of her little lover and pressed him to her stomach as she rolled around on the stained bed sheets, trying not to giggle as she settled with her little lover positioned directly beneath her sex. Watching him regain his bearings from the brief bout of dizziness, she drew his attention by smacking her abdomen just above her winking marehood. “This…” she hissed impatiently. “This is thy true function as our tribute. Thou shalt use thy colthood to please us here.” She spread her sex wide for emphasis.
Resisting the urge to give her what she needed, Rod stared dumbly down at her sex as if he’d never seen it before. “W-what do you want me to do, Mistress?”
Night was grinding her teeth as she grinned back at him, his play at naiveté causing her sex to wink all the more frantically. “Must we spell it out for thee?” she growled impatiently. “Do as we say and place thy dick into our sex!”
Nodding frantically, Rod moved himself into position and set his hands on her inner thighs for leverage. Lining up his dick with her pussy, he looked at her one more time for confirmation.
“Little pet,” the mare cooed. “Art thou ready?”
“Ready?” Rod asked back.
“Ready to be conquered?” Night hissed lustfully. “Ready for us to claim thy foalhood as our prize, forever? Ready to be our little pet in service to thine Mistress’ desires? Ready to be made a real stallion? Well, little colt?”
It only took a half second for Thomas to conclude that he no longer cared about the game, and that it was time to really play. “Ya gonna fuck my wittle bwains out?” he teased.
Instantly Luna raised her hips and slammed down over his cock, hilting him completely in one swift motion as her marehood spread open welcomingly. Mare and man cried out at the joy of becoming one. Musing at how Rod’s rod now burned inside her, Luna lifted herself once more, her lover’s dick sliding out with a wet slurping sound until only the head remained, only to crash back down to that wonderful feeling of fullness that only stallion meat could provide. When next Luna pulled off, Thomas held fast to her thighs, pressing his butt down into the soft sheets, only to thrust up as she came down on him and sent him deeper inside her marehood.
“Dearest Thomas!” Luna cried out. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she relished enveloping the small colt-like penis. A shiver of pleasure ran up her spine at the deliciously depravity. “Tell us… tell us how it feels, how much thou loveth thy little body being conquered by big strong mares.”
“I love it!” Thomas bellowed as he thrust upward, only for her powerful thighs to counter his momentum and crush his lower half under their softness. “I love big girls, and you’re the biggest there is.”
“More,” Luna commanded. The mattress strained under her frantic bouncing. “Tell us more!” She needed to hear his words, just as much as she needed to feel him inside her. The way she slid his dick in and out of her marehood was pushing her over the edge. She was on top. She was in control. And she needed to hear how much her lover loved it.
It took Thomas a moment to remember where he was before tearing his eyes away from the hypnotic bounce of her breasts. Instead he focused on entering her glistening pussy. “I love you,” he proclaimed. Luna responded with grunting and growling. “You’re the biggest girl with the biggest ass on the planet and I love you.” As he finished, Luna bottomed out on him one last time as her walls clenched tightly around his dick.
“Nnnnngh!” Luna moaned reaching her second climax. This one had been more satisfying by far, not only because she had her cute lover pinned beneath her, but because she felt his thick seed shoot out into her. Despite being so hot, her stallion’s baby batter managed to reach her core and cool her internal fire. Luna felt her vison blur as she fell forward atop her tiny lover.
Thomas only barely managed to maneuver himself to the side to avoid being suffocated by Luna’s giant chest pillows. As he came down from his own orgasmic high, he inhaled the scent of sex and sweaty alicorn; and almost passed out from the musk. Luna’s wings had fallen to her sides, completely sealing the human in darkness. There was only the heat, the dark, the dripping sweat, and the pressure constricting his body from all sides. With the exception of his legs, which felt pleasantly cool outside his alicorn prison, Thomas was left to wonder if this was what it would be like to be inside Luna, fully and completely. His post-sex brain allowing him to contemplate this as a real possibility and he felt himself stiffen inside her again.
“Ready for round two, my little pet?” Luna asked, breathing heavily as she pulled her mighty form off of him. She smiled contentedly down at her panting little lover. Setting her hands on either side of his head, she bent forward and planted a soft kiss on his lips.
“Give me a couple minutes,” Thomas panted.
“A couple minutes?” Luna mused. “Oh dear. How will I ever find a way to pass the time?” She twirled her finger through Thomas’ hair.
“I have a suggestion,” Talon announced as she poked her head up from the side of the bed. She was panting almost as heavily as her employer and coworker.
After hearing Talon explain, Luna found she liked the idea. And while Thomas found it a little gross, he agreed to join in for the first and third parts. One carrot and several energy drinks later, the three collapsed into a sweaty heap. This definitely wouldn’t be the last time they’d play this game.
Moonlight Shield had been extra slow getting out of bed. Tonight was her night off, and as much as she enjoyed her duties and the company she kept, she still felt she needed a break from it all. Yep. Tonight was just going to be one of those lazy nights where absolutely nothing was accomplished, save her own relaxation and maybe a little shopping. Still, she did throw on her linen undershirt and trousers just in case she ran into Thomas at some point. After one last stop in front of the full body mirror to make sure she was properly groomed, she made for the door, only to be stopped by a knock from the other side.
“Who is it?”
“Blade Grace.” The mare answered from the other side. “May I come in?”
Opening the door, Moonlight blinked in surprise to find her fellow guard’s light gray fur and jet black mane shining pristinely as she stood naked in the door way. “Of course you can.” Moonlight stepped aside to allow the bat pony entry. A quiet sniff revealed her guest seemed to be wearing a lovely perfume. “Is there anything I can offer you? I’m afraid I’m out of refreshments and was just about to head for the store.”
“It’s quite alright.” Grace smiled appreciatively. “In fact, I was actually going to ask if you’d like to go shopping with me.”
“Oh?” Moonlight asked, her tone cautious.
“I know the two of us haven’t exactly gotten along,” Grace sighed in remorse. “But I figured, since we’re both House Guard, we could use a little… you know… team building exercise.” She gestured ambiguously with her fist and forced a smile.
“Team building?” Moonlight eyed the bat mare skeptically, noting all the little touches taken to make herself look nice and presentable. “And the perfume?”
“What? Oh that!” Grace laughed uneasily. “Well I noticed I was about out of this one bottle, so I decided to just finish it off. I mean, maybe it’ll help me haggle the prices down from some cute filly, or something.”
“Uh huh.” Moonlight nodded, her tone betraying how unconvinced she was while Grace beamed nervously. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt,” she shrugged.
“Great!” Grace blurted. “I mean… that would be lovely. Thank you.”
“Just as friends.” Moonlight held out her hand to slow the bat pony’s excitement. “Let’s just hang out as friends and see how well that goes.”
“That still sounds like a ‘yes’ to me,” Grace retorted with an eager grin.
“Fair enough.” Moonlight quickly retrieved her bit bag and tied it around her waist as she followed her friend out on their not-date.
**********
“You’re sure this won’t be traced back to me?” Starry Sky nervously asked the stallion across the desk as her eyes roamed around the bookstore’s back office. “And why are we here, anyway?”
“There’s no need to worry, Miss Sky,” Firestorm assured. “I’d make for a very poor journalist if I didn’t keep my sources secret when they asked. That’s actually why we’re here.” The unicorn gestured around the room with his only arm while holding his pen and notepad in his magic. “My family owns this store, so I can assure you no pony will bother us here.” He smiled warmly. “Now, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?”
“Oh, well, my name is Starry Sky. I’m a pegasus.” She ruffled her wings for emphasis. “And until recently, I was applying to be a concubine to Princess Luna. But now I…” she trailed off. “I’m an assistant masseuse at one of the local clinics.” She slumped in her chair. “Not even one of the good ones.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Firestorm nodded, the only other sound in the room that of his pen scribbling away in his magical grip. “What makes you think you were dismissed?”
Sky twiddled her fingers and looked away. “Luna… the Princess said we didn’t satisfy her.”
A folder encased in Firestorm’s cobalt blue aura rose from the desk and opened for him to read. “From what my sources suggest, you were performing quite adequately. Always on time, obeyed every order, and maintained a positive attitude.” The folder closed and he looked back up at the mare. “In what way do you think the Princess was dissatisfied with your service?”
Sky pressed her lips out in a pout as her eyes absentmindedly roamed across a nearby shelf. “I don’t want to say anything mean, but…”
“But?”
“I think it was that Thomas’ fault.”
“Thomas?” Firestorm asked. “The hay-mane currently serving as Luna’s Senior Concubine?”
“It’s actually ‘human’, but that’s the one,” Sky corrected gently. “Me and the others, Chain and Stone, we’d been her attendants for over three months. I thought we were doing well. I mean, we were joking, and laughing, and I thought the Princess was enjoying herself too. Then…” she grimaced as her ears drooped. “Then he came along and suddenly we were like second bananas.”
“Would you mind expanding on that?”
“It started out as little things. They’d stare at each other, she’d leave her hand on him for long periods of time… Then suddenly we’re dismissed while he got to spend the day in her bed!” Sky’s quiet demeanor rapidly became a full on rant. “I mean, what makes him so special, anyway?”
“Near as I can tell, he’s the only one of his kind in all Equestria,” Firestorm offered politely. “That could be something. Maybe he was just Luna’s type?”
“Maybe,” Sky relented. “And… maybe we might have kinda sorta, ya know, not really included him when the Princess wasn’t looking.”
“You excluded him?”
“That’s a really strong word!” Sky protested. “And it wasn’t like he really showed any signs that he was disappointed or anything.”
Firestorm nodded, maintaining an even expression. “The way I hear it, Mr. Thomas, or rather Sir Thomas…” He paused to gauge her reaction, but saw nothing from Sky. Sighing to himself, he continued, “Sir Thomas has been having issues adjusting to pony society and even reading pony body language. Did you consider that the reverse might be true and that you might have missed non-verbal cues he was sending?”
Sky slumped even more in her seat. “Nooooo,” she admitted with a drawn out whine. She was pouting like a foal, making Firestorm feel like a lecturing parent.
“Is there anything else about him that you can tell me?” He paused, but she looked confused by his question. “Any physical attributes of note, odd habits, or anything else that might have seemed unusual?”
“Well he was always super timid,” Sky recalled. “Even by stallion standards he seemed super shy and meek. I mean, sometimes he’d laugh with us, but he almost never, ya know, initiated anything except with the Princess.”
“Have you ever heard the old fairy tales of humans before?”
“A little,” Sky said with an uncertain.
“I’ve done a little research on the matter,” Firestorm stated. “Frankly tales range all over the map regarding their behaviors, but most tend to lean more on the aggressive side. Do you think this might have had any influence on your opinion on this human?”
“I don’t know… maybe?” Sky averted her eyes. “It’s really weird the way he eats meat and all, and Chain said we shouldn’t associate with those types.”
Chain? Firestorm’s face remained neutral while his pen continued it’s work.
“Honestly, I just kinda saw him as one of those talking animals, like a chimera, and that he was just the Princess’ pet. I don’t think any of us ever really thought he’d, ya know, get the job.”
**********
“I’m sorry, but I just have to ask.” Grace frowned as she gestured at Moonlight in their shared cab. “Why are you wearing your linens?”
“These?” Moonlight looked down. “I guess it was getting a little cold out and I didn’t really see the point in putting on anything else.”
Grace blinked in disbelief. “But… that?” She gestured at Moonlight’s blouse. “It’s not exactly very flattering to your figure.”
Now it was Moonlight’s turn to blink in disbelief.
“That is, well, you have a very lovely figure, and it just seems a shame to wear something so… uncomplimentary.” Grace quickly averted her gaze to the window. “Honestly, you’d look a lot prettier in either royal armor or in nothing at all.”
Moonlight felt her cheeks turn warm as she took note of the way Grace’s wings and tail were fidgeting anxiously. “Grace?”
“Yes?” Grace replied, still avoiding the other mare’s gaze.
“Why did you really ask me to go out like this?”
Grace let out a long sigh of defeat. “Things… haven’t been going so well with Sturdy and Quick. We’re still friends, but it feels like the spark’s gone, ya know?” She grimaced, bracing herself for the next part as she finally met the unicorn’s eyes. “And then I… I got it in my head that you’re a really pretty mare and that you’re single, so I thought maybe I could take you out for a nice night so we could, ya know, get to know each other better.” She explained all in one breath, only daring to breathe once she’d reached the conclusion.
“Oh?” Moonlight puckered her lips into a surprised O, staring blankly at the other mare. After a confession like that, and seeing the bat pony stare at her and impatiently wait for her answer, there was only one valid response. “You… think I’m pretty?”
Grace’s face dawned with cautious optimism. “I’ve, well, always liked your eyes. They really stand out against the warm colors of your fur and mane.”
“If I’m being completely honest,” Moonlight chuckled nervously. “I really like your black mane. It’s a pretty rare color and, ya know, also has the whole contrast thing.” Moonlight chuckled again at how poorly she’d worded her reply, which spread to Grace until they shared in a hearty laugh.
**********
“Miss Chain, please.” Firestorm gestured at his guest to calm her down as he sat up from his desk. Midnight Chain had only come into the office a few minutes ago and already he was losing control of the angry mare. “I’m just here to get the facts.”
“The facts, huh?” Midnight Chain spat. “Like the fact that that scrawny foreigner managed to weasel his way into the Princess’ bed, after breaking into her room no less, and then he-”
“Please!” Firestorm not-quite shouted. When it seemed the mare’s tirade was finished, he retrieved his pen and notepad with his magic and reclined in his chair. “Now. From the beginning, when did you first start to suspect that this… hor-maren had malicious intent?” He contorted his mouth around the strange word,
“It’s ‘human’, actually.” Chain corrected snidely. “What makes you think you can take him down if you can’t even get his species right?”
“Madam, the Canterlot Canter is not about ‘taking anypony down’; we’re not the guards after all. I’m just a journalist trying to get the scoop on the newcomer who’s managed to evade the press for far too long.” Firestorm explained, masking his pride in the aforementioned accomplishment in ensuring that evasion. “And if the truth should happen to result in certain someponies going under investigation, well…” he trailed off, letting her fill in the blanks.
“I see.” Chain nodded. “Well, I knew he was trouble from the start. We, the whole of the castle staff, were under strict orders to keep his very existence a secret for the longest time. How is that not sketchy?”
“But didn’t those orders come from the Princesses?” Firestorm asked.
“That’s what makes this so scary,” Chain hissed, leaning closer. “Supposedly he doesn’t have any magic, yet he still managed to trick his way into the Princess’ service and bed in no time flat.”
“Interesting.” Firestorm nodded as the levitating pen and pad went to work taking notes. “I do believe I’ve heard that he has no magic. Very strange.”
“I still can’t believe it.” Chain shook her head. “I mean, even rocks hold trace amounts of magical energy. Just how far is his homeland that everything in it has no magic at all?”
This line of questioning was getting a little too close for comfort by Firestorm’s measure. “What makes you so sure this Mr. Termas managed to slip into Luna’s bed through, let’s say… less than honest means?”
“What?”
“What I mean is, how do you know she just doesn’t have a thing for furless apes the size of foals? Trust me when I say I’ve seen stranger fetishes.” Firestorm offered a wry smile.
“Even if that were true, which it isn’t,” Chain growled. “That doesn’t explain how he managed to get me and the other attendants kicked out like that.”
“And how do you know he was responsible for this?”
“Psh,” Chain scoffed and crossed her arms indignantly. “Because he knew we were onto him.”
“Onto him?”
“Well, I was, anyway.” Chain rolled her eyes. She glanced at the notepad to make sure it was still writing. “The others, Sky and Stone. They agreed with me that there was something off about the little monkey, but we all agreed to keep it to ourselves until we had evidence. You have no idea how hard it was to put on a smile and pretend everything was alright with that… thing strutting around the castle like he owned the place.”
“I can imagine.” Firestorm grimaced. He could sympathize with forcing yourself to be around somepony you found detestable just to get the dirt on them. “Where have you been working since your dismissal?”
“I work as a bartender at a place on Fifth Avenue that primarily serves guards,” the unicorn sneered. “It was my old job before the Princess showed up and I saw a chance to finally do my family proud.”
“I see.” Firestorm nodded as the wheels of his mind began to turn. In his line of work, bartenders were very valuable sources of information, being so close to drunken ponies with loose lips. However, this also meant they were close to ponies who, being grateful for the drinks, might be more open to suggestion. This could be trouble.
“They were good enough to take me back, and I’m grateful for that, but I was meant to be so much more, ya know? I was supposed to have the honor of serving a Princess in one of the most coveted positions in the land. And all that went to manure thanks to that short, sniveling, worthless little human.” She was grinding her teeth by the end.
**********
Moonlight and Grace had exited their cab a while back and even took to holding hands as they walked down the street towards the general market.
“What’s the matter?” Grace asked.
“What you said about my clothes.” Moonlight’s ears swiveled around anxiously. “I’m starting to think you might have had a point.”
“Then why don’t you just take them off?”
“I can’t do that on the street!” Moonlight hissed at the mare for suggesting something so ludicrous. Ponies might normally go around nude, but it was still considered indecent to just strip down in the open like that. Everypony would think she didn’t have proper manners.
“Sorry,” Grace apologized flatly, instantly realizing her mistake. She surveyed the road ahead. “Come on.” The bat pony grabbed the unicorn’s wrist and lead the way toward a nearby clothing store. “You know, I was just thinking you could do with an addition to your wardrobe.” She winked with a grin.
Beaming as they stood outside the store, Moonlight gratefully seized Grace in a warm hug, not minding how their breasts pressed together, before releasing her with a grateful nod. The mares shopped around for a few minutes, but didn’t find anything they’d be willing to purchase. That didn’t stop them from trying on a few outfits and then asking for a bag to carry out Moonlight’s unfashionable underclothes. On the plus side, the loss of layers forced the unicorn to press into the bat pony’s side for warmth. From there it was a straight shot to the general market for groceries as the mares continued to chat the night away.
**********
“I’m sorry, Miss Stone. Could you repeat that?” Firestorm asked.
“Must I spell it out for you?” Lunar Stone snapped, yet managed to maintain her composure. “That thing is a disrespectful menace and a disaster just waiting to happen.”
“Ah.” Firestorm nodded, careful to keep from laughing or showing any other emotions. “Would you care to-”
“First of all, he isn’t even a pony.” Stone sneered, cutting Firestorm off. “And if that weren’t bad enough, he’s a stallion serving as Senior Concubine. Who the hay does he think he is just waltzing over tradition like that?”
If nothing else, let it not be said that Lunar Stone doesn’t speak her mind. “My records might be a bit spotty,” Firestorm said apologetically as he magically retrieved a folder from his desk. “However, I do believe there has been precedent for this sort of-”
“He’s not even a stallion.” Stone seethed. “I don’t even know what you’d call a male of his species, and yet the Princess, in her infinite wisdom,” she bobbed her head as her voice took on a mocking nasally tone, “decided to let him into her bed, assuming it even is a ‘him’.”
“Well,” Firestorm shrugged. “There is a bulge in his uniform. So I think it’s safe to say-”
“A small one.” Stone stressed. “Very small. I’ve seen him with and without that little napkin and trust me when I say it’s nothing worth bragging about. Frankly, any colt feeling insecure about their size should be notified of his existence as soon as possible. What’s more, the little pervert would actually become aroused just from watching us walk around when he first arrived. I swear, we did absolutely nothing to garner that kind of attention, yet he reacted all the same.”
Firestorm lowered his hand beneath the desk so the mare wouldn’t see him clench his fist in frustration. And I thought the last one was bad. At least she let me finish. And besides paranoia, she also managed to avoid such cheap shots like mocking a male’s penis size like it was something that actually mattered. “From what I understand, he comes from a culture where they wear clothing all the time, save only for bathing and intimacy.”
“Psh.” Stone rolled her eyes. “And where’d you hear that from? Him?”
“Various sources who, like you, also wish to remain anonymous.” Firestorm answered, his tone rigid with a hint of warning. Stone blinked in surprise, but the shift in her posture suggested she got the hint and would try to be more cordial.
“Well, I was only saying that you really can’t trust anything he says about this supposed human country.”
“You don’t think there’s a human country?”
“I don’t know what to think.” Stone admitted. “What I do know is that, since we have no other frame of reference, he could just be making things up to excuse his deviant behavior.”
“I’ll admit that that’s certainly possible.” Firestorm nodded as he turned back to the folder. “However, the accounts I’ve heard seem to be fairly consistent. You’d think if he were lying that there’d be more contradictions.”
“Unless he was a good liar.” Stone suggested.
“True.” Firestorm nodded. “But at this point, do you have anything other than speculation?” You haven’t even mentioned how you performed on the job. You just started with blaming the new guy without taking any personal responsibility, dumb bitch. Huh… ‘Bitch’. Firestorm had heard Thomas mention the word a few times. Assuming that he was using the right context, the word seemed fitting.
“No,” Stone grumbled. “We did what we could to look on our own, but the little creep was practically glued to Luna’s hip so we couldn’t find anything.”
“A shame.” Firestorm sighed. “Despite popular opinion, facts sell a lot better than gossip. But onto the matter at hand, what can you tell me about your own performance in service to the Princess?”
“What’s to tell?” Stone shrugged. “The others and I were perfect models of cordial behavior, even with that animal eyeing us up. We did just as Lady Sun Dancer advised with respectful familiarity, smiling often, and getting to know each other as though we were forming a herd. Yet despite that, even she abandoned us after that human got to her.”
Firestorm sighed. “I suppose you only have speculation about this as well?”
“I don’t have pegasi hearing, but I did spot them talking quite a bit towards the end. Lady Dancer seemed very intrigued by what he had to say.”
“I see,” Firestorm acknowledged as he glanced at his note pad. It was tempting to simply write the word ‘paranoid’ over and over again. Boss is gonna love this, he thought sardonically of his superior’s face at seeing his report.
**********
“So I’ve noticed the night guard has been swelling with new recruits these last few weeks,” Moonlight commented as she and her friend sat at one of the outdoor diners and enjoyed their morning coffee. “I can just imagine how happy this must make the Princess.”
“Oh, thanks for reminding me.” Grace set her cup down. “On that note, I heard a rumor that they’re going to be cutting down our hours so they can transition us to a three shift system.”
“Three?” Moonlight echoed. “How’s that going to work?”
“That’s actually how Celestia’s day guard has been operating all this time.”
“I know that,” Moonlight retorted, mildly annoyed. “I’m just wondering how that’ll work with the night guard as a whole separate division.”
“All military operations answer to Captain Shining Armor,” Grace began. “So his staff’s working on a new rotation where the bulk of the night guard works the evenings, there’s more of an even mix with the day guard in the dawn hours, and then there’s a token night presence during the day shift. Flip that for the day guards and you should hopefully get the idea from these.”
“Seems to make enough sense.” Moonlight chuckled. “And I can certainly see them doing that to help build comradery between the divisions and help day ponies get better used to the night guard. However, I get the feeling that’s only the lead-in to something else.”
“Can’t get anything past you.” Graced laughed in good natured teasing. “The thing is, some of us in the House Guard were asked to, well…” She trailed off nervously.
“Asked to?” Moonlight echoed.
“Share in your duties?” Grace asked apologetically as she braced herself for the inevitable explosion of anger at having her competency questioned like this. Instead, Grace was thoroughly surprised when the unicorn only gave an exasperated sigh.
“I should’ve known this was coming.”
“What?”
“I enjoy looking out for Thomas. I really do.” She chuckled to herself. “But even I think we could use little breaks from each other from time to time.”
Grace released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.
“Not to mention the whole thing makes more sense from a strategic point of view,” Moonlight continued. “In the event of danger, you want your guard to be in peak physical condition. So it’s only logical to portion out some more relaxation time.”
“I’m so happy to hear you say that,” Grace cheered.
“Why? Because you volunteered?”
“Oh,” Grace smiled guiltily. “I suppose you saw that one coming.”
“Like a stampeding ursa.” Moonlight smiled warmly. “Is that what this date was for, so you could get my permission to guard Thomas in my absence?”
“Well…” Grace averted her gaze, meaning she didn’t see Moonlight reach across the table and grab her hand, holding it with tight affection.
“You’re one of the best hand-to-hand combatants in our class.” Moonlight beamed. “Blade Grace, I know that I can trust you to keep Thomas safe and well in my absence.”
“That means so much. Thank you.” Grace twisted her hand until she was able to grasp Moonlight’s palm in hers. “It would be an honor, to both help out a friend and to service the Princess in this manner.”
“I’m sure it is.”
“That said…” Grace once more took on an apologetic expression. “I was wondering if I might ask you a little favor.”
“The way you phrase it makes me nervous,” Moonlight admitted. “But what is it?”
“Well, first of all, I was wondering what you thought of all… this,” Grace waved her hand in a general all-encompassing gesture.
“This?”
“Our, you know, not-date?”
Moonlight smiled warmly. “I had fun.”
Grace’s ears perked up optimistically. “You did?”
“We didn’t do all that much, but I had a lot of fun just hanging out with you.” Moonlight playfully batted at Grace’s leg with her tail, causing the bat pony to blush at the affectionate gesture.
“In that case, the favor I wanted to ask was could,” *Gulp* “help me out during my next heat.” She paused, bracing herself for rejection.
“Sure,” Moonlight said without a moment’s hesitation.
“Y-you mean it?” Grace asked with an ever growing smile.
“Well, Tali already agreed to help me out for my heat week, but I’m sure we could work you in too.” She chuckled casually. “I mean, what are friends for if they can’t cool each other off every now and then, you know?”
“I’d like that.” Grace beamed. “I’d like that a lot. Thank you.”
**********
Firestorm let out a sigh of relief as the last mare closed the door behind her, leaving him alone in the office. Between the inept, the paranoid, and the hardline traditionalist, he hoped to never have to deal with those three ever again. And if the letter he was writing did its job, he’d get his wish. However, there was still one last matter to take care of before starting the letter. Reaching into his pocket, the stallion pulled out a compact mirror and flipped it open. After lighting his horn, the image in the mirror changed from a reflection of his handsome mug to a view of the hall just outside his door where his three interviewees remained.
“Do you really think there’s anything he can do?” Chain asked as she paced in front of the chairs where the others sat.
“He said he’s just a journalist,” Sky answered timidly. “But he probably could get ponies to start asking questions.”
“It’s a first step if nothing else,” Stone added, tightening her fists. “That is, if that’s what he’s really after.”
“What do you mean?” Chain asked as she stopped in front of the earth mare. “You think he’s got some ulterior motive to putting that animal away and protecting the Princesses?”
“You know what’s going on.” Stone gestured to Chain and then to herself. “And I know what’s going on, but no pony else seems to believe us.”
“Maybe we should go over everything we just told him?” Chain offered. “You know, and conduct our own investigation.”
Firestorm rolled his eyes as he watched the image on his mirror. It annoyed him how when he pulled the journalist routine his interviewees always seemed to think they were super sleuths afterwards.
“Didn’t you say you’re working at that guard bar again?” Stone asked as her expression brightened. “Maybe you could use that to gather a bit more intel?”
“Oh no,” Firestorm grumbled as he slumped in his chair. He was not pleased by the prospect of calling for additional help to watch these ponies.
Despite the stallion’s hopes, the former attendants seemed bent on making his life harder by carrying on their own investigation as they agreed on a meeting time. And while there was the possibility of them stumbling across other conspirators with similar goals, chances were dim. Firestorm was not looking forward to being a part of a team again. He worked better on his own.
“Oh well,” he sighed as he watched the three depart. He closed the compact and stored it back in his pocket before scanning the book shelf for something to take his mind off things after writing his report. Eventually he settled on Seven Stallions since he’d been meaning to reread that one after hearing Moonlight and Talon talk about it.
Celestia looked up from the stack of notes on her desk that had refused to go away. Even after all these years of royal protocol, the mare had to suppress the urge to ask who it was. After all, that was her guards’ responsibility.
“Sir Thomas of Princess Luna’s Harem to see you, Your Highness,” a gravelly female voice called from the other side of the door.
“Send him in,” Celestia answered casually.
The door opened and in walked Equestria’s cutest human as he cautiously surveyed the room until his eyes landed on the Princess. He let out a brief sigh of relief, presumably because Celestia was wearing a dress, and strode in, showing off his little colt’s clothes. By Faust, he looks adorable in those. Celestia cheered internally as she gestured for him to sit across from her. I wonder if any of my lovers would look as cute in little foal’s clothes. Shelving that thought for a later date, Celestia magically moved the formal paperwork to the side and levitated a folder out directly between them on the desk.
“Thomas,” she greeted. “It’s been too long.”
Thomas glanced between the day guards to either side of the alicorn. Even sitting down she was taller than them, yet their armor made it difficult to discern who was the more intimidating. “We had dinner just yesterday.”
“I meant since we had some proper us time, you know? You never call, you never write,” Celestia bemoaned playfully. “A pony might start to think you were avoiding her or something.”
“I… I wasn’t aware that was bothering you,” Thomas admitted meekly. “I’m sorry.”
Four months of bucking an alicorn and still no less humble, Celestia thought approvingly. “It doesn’t bother me, per se.” She pushed the folder forward. “However, there have been issues with another mare you’ve been neglecting.”
Meeting Celestia’s golden eyes for permission, Thomas took the bulging folder and opened it up to find about half a dozen letters, all already opened and signed from purple book horse. “Twilight? But these all look signed to you,” Thomas asked.
“Yet the subject matter is you, Sir Thomas.” Celestia beamed sweetly, knowing how much he disliked being referred to as ‘Sir’. “See for yourself.”
Since the letters were all conveniently dated, Thomas started with the oldest first and quickly skimmed. Unbeknownst to him, Celestia watched his little lips move as he silently read, fantasizing about just how soft human lips were compared to ponies. However, her fantasies were cut short as Thomas soon found what she’d intended him to see.
“She wants you to send her some of my sperm?” Thomas asked with a befuddled expression.
Okay, maybe not that part.
Celestia shook her head, laughing good-naturedly. “She’s also asking for other details regarding your person, such as height, weight, hair samples, and…” she trailed off with a mischievous grin.
“Yeah. That.” Thomas scowled at the letter for going into such exuberant detail on his kissing ability. He wasn’t even sure if half those adjectives were real words. “She’s not trying to clone me, is she?”
“Not to my knowledge, no.” Celestia shook her head, her limp pink mane sweeping her shoulders as she did so. “Twilight is just very curious and, now that you have her attention, many of her last few letters have been alluding to a desire to learn more about you.”
Thomas continued to frown as he looked between Celestia and the letter. “She makes it sound like I’m some lab rat or something.”
“Try the next letter,” Celestia advised.
Thomas did as instructed and skimmed until he found the part mentioning him. A small grin touched his lips when the first line was an apology for approaching the subject as an object and not a sentient creature. “Eating habits, physical output, blah blah… and cultural peculiarities? I take it you’ve been replying to these?” Thomas asked.
“To the best of my ability, yes.” Celestia nodded.
“Alright,” Thomas nodded warily. “This seems less weird than the last one, but why are you showing me these?”
“Because, Sir Thomas.” Celestia’s grin grew ever so slightly when she heard him give an exasperated sigh. “I had asked Twilight why she doesn’t address these letters directly to you, to which she responded in the fifth letter expressing concern that doing so ran the risk of unknowingly committing a cultural insult.”
“Ah,” Thomas said, now understandingly. Twilight’s also the neurotic type, so I guess she would worry over that. But that still doesn’t answer my question. “And you have a solution?”
“Naturally,” Celestia beamed. “I think it would do the both of you some good to broaden your horizons and become pen pals.” She paused, taking the opportunity to study the contortions of Thomas’ face as he considered her proposal. Like Twilight, Celestia always enjoyed learning new things, to which Thomas’ small eyes, motionless ears, flat muzzle, and other alien features posed an exciting challenge. Near as she could tell, he was unsure, but not exactly opposed to the idea.
“I’m not sure. I mean, I’ve never really been good at long distance relationships before.”
Nailed it, as the young ponies say these days, Celestia thought to herself while pumping her fist under her desk. “Which is exactly why I think this would be a good learning experience for both of you,” Celestia said with a gentle maternal tone. “In a way, you and Twilight have a lot in common in how you’re both learning the many facets of what it means to be friends with ponies. She can learn about human culture, which can provide a new outlook on our own. And you can have somepony to turn to with questions you might not feel comfortable addressing to anypony in your current circle, trusting that my little protégé will maintain nothing short of professional objectivity.”
“Okay.” Thomas nodded. “But will we be sending letters through regular mail, or…”
Celestia levitated a small stack of parchment from a table on the far wall onto her desk. “These are the same enchanted papers with which Twilight sends her friendship reports.” Celestia gestured proudly. “I can modify the enchantment so that all you’ll have to do is toss them into any nearby fire and they’ll be received by Spike in ten seconds flat.”
Thomas narrowed his eyes at Celestia. She knew what she said. And that grinning smirk said that she knew that he knew that she knew what she said. “I’ll give it a shot.” Thomas pulled the stack towards him. “But I’m not sending her any samples.”
“Fair enough,” Celestia shrugged. “However, there was one last thing I wanted to mention before you go.”
The diarch of the sun stood from her desk, her enormous and braless chest puppies bouncing a little from the sudden movement. With only a smile she motioned for Thomas to follow her to the far side of the room. This required the human to move past one of her guards, whom he gave a wide berth. Celestia walked along the wall, passing a variety of paintings and sculptures Thomas hadn’t paid much mind to before. However, the more he studied them, the more he realized that Luna’s office was relatively barren compared to the near gallery status of Celestia’s. Finally they stopped.
“Waking Night,” Celestia stated as she indicated the piece.
Upon a column shaped pedestal sat a pitch black statue of Luna dressed in full armor as she stood atop a pyramid with her sword thrust back in preparation to strike. Across from her on a separate pyramid loomed some sort of Lovecraftian monster; a nightmare comprised of dozens of mouths fully jagged teeth, hundreds of unblinking eyes angrily fixed on that which would defy it, and all connected by thin strands of muscle tissue that resembled more of a spider web than any kind of beast.
“What is it?” Thomas asked in wonder.
“A gift from the Prince of Saddle Arabia,” Celestia stated plainly, as if her companion didn’t require further explanation. However, the smile on her face suggested she was purposefully delaying. “This is a miniature of the piece Prince Gray Hammer sculpted to honor Luna’s heroism after she defeated the Waking Night, an abominable amalgamation of the collective nightmares of a nation, brought to life by a contemptable wizard with dreams of world conquest.”
“Who was the wizard?”
“No pony knows.” Celestia sighed grimly. “So vile was Waking Night that it not only devoured the flesh of its victims, but also the memories of their very existence. We only have clues of the wizard’s existence because of the few journals left behind, as well as my sister’s lingering feelings at meeting such a wretched pony, only to watch as he became his creation’s first victim.”
“Whoa,” was all Thomas could say after such a heavy story. It was reminiscent of the countless other stories he’d heard from other fictions depicting what could happen when magic, especially dark magic, was misused. Just the thought of a monster that could not only kill someone, but also all memory of them, was something he really didn’t want to dwell on. “So… The Prince?”
“That is where the story takes a turn for the better.” A smile returned to Celestia’s lips. “For after Waking Night’s defeat, previously strained relations between Equestria and Saddle Arabia, had smoothed over generously with Lulu and Hammer’s wedding.” Celestia sighed fondly at the memory. “That was when the true sculpture, which stands over two stories tall, was officially unveiled in the main square in front of the Saddle Arabian palace, where it remains to this day.”
It was all Thomas could do to keep from turning into a slack jawed idiot as he marveled before the statue. In his mind’s eye he pictured a very dashing and chiseled stallion in a tuxedo escorting a much larger indigo alicorn in a pure white wedding gown down the aisle in a traditional wedding ceremony. The thought filled him with warmth to imagine how happy Luna must have been that day, even if it was with another stallion who… Best not to follow that train of thought.
“It’s…” Thomas struggled for something to say. “I mean… Wow.” He chuckled at his inability to properly convey just how impressed he was.
“I can see you’ll make a fine writer someday.” Celestia smiled coyly, her voice somehow free of sarcasm.
“Why are you showing me this?” Thomas frowned as he finally tore his eyes from the sculpture and looked up at the much taller alicorn. “And why’s this here instead of Luna’s office or something?”
Celestia’s smile faded. “In the instability following the banishment of Nightmare Moon, there was a group of radicals who sought desperately to purge the world of all evidence of the Princess they thought beyond redemption and gone forever. The Nightmare Purge,” she whispered. “We stopped them, but not before they’d tragically destroyed so many beautiful works.” Celestia reached out for the sculpture, her finger tips stopping barely an inch before making contact and she pulled back. “This one I managed to save by claiming it as my own work. When Lulu returned, of course I offered to return it, but she appreciated the sentiment of my keeping one of her proudest moments and asked that I continue to hold on to it.
“As for your first question,” Celestia continued. “I wanted to speak a moment of Gray Hammer.”
“Alright.” Thomas nodded.
“The boy, for he was little more than a colt of thirteen at his wedding, was sixth in line to the throne.”
Luna married a thirteen year old kid? Thomas thought squeamishly as he reset his previous mental image. Celestia must have seen him making a face because she smiled comfortingly.
“You must understand that it was a different time back then,” she assured. “In those days, it was quite common that of nobility were used as bargaining chips in alliances and wedded off the moment they had their cutie marks. Such practices still occur now, if only to a lesser extent. Prince Gray Hammer was such a case, offered as little more than a prize to my sister, along with a number of other treasures and contracts to show the Sultanate’s gratitude.”
“And… Gray Hammer?” Thomas asked cautiously.
“He couldn’t have been happier,” Celestia said with a beaming smile. “Previously a rather meek colt, he was so taken with Lulu that he asserted control over the obsidian sculpture and reduced a projected three years of work down to six months, earning his cutie mark upon its completion. In turn,” Celestia tittered, “Lulu was so taken by his skill that they had to add an extra sound proofing spell on their wedding night.”
Thomas cringed again.
“Alas, despite Prince Hammer continuing to produce many great marvels up until his very last day, most of his work was ultimately lost in the Nightmare Purge.” Celestia’s ears drooped in sorrow. “However, despite this tragedy, Lulu has done what she and I have always done at the loss of those we care for. She presses on, holding onto all the moments they shared together in her mind and in her heart.” The alicorn turned to face the human with a mix of sorrow and optimism. “I say this to stress the importance of making every moment share count. Do you understand?”
“I…” Thomas suddenly found it very hard to breathe as he felt a great weight upon his chest. “I hope I do.”
“An answer that holds more wisdom than it implies.” Celestia nodded. Turning to the side, she motioned for him to follow in returning to their seats at her desk. “Speaking of ancient practices in foreign cultures…” Celestia smiled, picking up where they left off as she took her seat. “I was wondering if you could help me understand something about humans.”
“Oh?” Thomas questioned before glancing to the guards at her sides.
Seeing his concern, Celestia promptly dismissed the guards, who departed with only a “Yes, Your Highness,” and a soft click of the door closing, leaving Thomas alone with a very powerful alicorn.
“So…” Thomas glanced around nervously. “What’d you want to ask?”
“Seeing as Lulu has been hesitant to broach the subject, as the older sister, I feel it is my duty to ask why you continue to not let her into your dreams.”
Thomas blinked in surprise before nervously rubbing his arm. “That’s… um… kind of hard to explain.”
“You do know that, in a dream, you’d be capable of doing literally anything your heart desires, yes?” Celestia asked. “You can fly without wings, savor as many delicious treats as you like without consequence,” she wiped a dab of drool from the corner of her lip, “and, naturally, indulge in all of your most perverse kinks.” Her eyebrows danced suggestively as she gave a mischievous smile. “Surely you’ve considered these factors and more before making your decision.”
Thomas averted his eyes. “Honestly… no.”
“No?” Celestia blinked and pulled back in surprise. “Equestria is in the midst of remembering what Luna can do to aid in their dreams. And amongst desires for her body and power, the potential for what she could offer in the dream realm was always a prominent fantasy for the old applicants to Luna’s harem. Yet none of this has factored into your decision on the matter?”
“Maybe I’ve thought about it, a little.” Thomas shrugged with sheepish embarrassment.
Celestia straightened herself in a more composed posture. It was indeed as Luna had suggested. “Then this is a cultural matter?”
“Kind of.” Thomas shrugged.
“Then please.” Celestia leaned forward, granting a clear view down her dress. “Help me to understand. Luna said that this is a matter of privacy, yes?” She waited for Thomas to nod. “What exactly is it that you are worried that she might see?”
“It’s not like that.” Thomas grimaced as he puzzled over a way to explain this. “It’s like… Aren’t there things that you keep secret, even from Luna or Sun Dancer?”
This gave Celestia pause as she only barely managed to keep her gaze focused. “Shameful as it is, I admit that there are matters that I keep secret from my loved ones,” she said with a hint of danger, warning Thomas that he was not to go spreading this around. “However, I do not see how that is relevant to allowing Luna into your dreams.”
“Not relevant?” Thomas asked. “So, you admit you’ve got secrets, but you have no problem with letting just anyone into your mind?”
“Not ‘just anyone’.” Celestia parroted with a bit of mirth at the perceived absurdity he’d suggested. “But for ponies such as Luna, Sun Dancer, and any of my harem, I would gladly let them in.”
“Even at the risk they’d find what you don’t want them to see?”
“Oh, I see!” Celestia exclaimed in understanding. “You worry that Luna might not respect your privacy.”
“The mind is kind of the most private place a person can have,” Thomas explained. “It’s, like, the last place someone can retreat to where no one else can follow.”
“I think I’m beginning to understand.” Celestia nodded, though her tone suggested she wasn’t quite certain yet. “Allow me to explain. Let us think of your mind as your room. It is the place you feel secure enough to rest in and just be yourself without worry of outside judgement. Do you follow me so far?”
“I think so.” Thomas nodded to Celestia’s satisfaction.
“Your room is also the place where you keep your treasures: photos of old memories, both fond and pleasant; old school notes detailing everything you’ve ever learned; piles upon piles of papers depicting every idea and fantasy you’ve ever considered; and countless other trinkets, of which only hold value to you for their sentimentality.”
At the pause, Thomas nodded again. The metaphor for his mind was looking very fitting.
“For the sake of argument, let’s say you meet somepony with whom you feel you can trust,” Celestia suggested. “To test this trust, you take something out of your room and show it to them to gauge their reaction. If they accept it, you go on to share more and more things with them. Eventually, after thoroughly earning your trust, you invite this pony, or person, into your most inner sanctum. You stress the gravity of this show of trust, explaining to your guest that he or she is to touch nothing without your expressed permission. There are of course things that are out in plain view: the stack of idea papers for example. However, it is only through your allowance that your guest is made privy to examine these ideas more thoroughly and even then only with your supervision.” Celestia’s eyes asked if Thomas was still following along.
“But still…” Thomas stressed. “My mind is a lot more personal than my room.”
“The principle is the same,” Celestia assured. “What matters is that you have this personal space all your own that you only make available to those you trust above all else. And even if you grant them permission to enter and leave unsupervised, you still make it clear that there are certain things, boxes if you will, that they are to never touch under any circumstances. Ultimately, the core of the matter is that you trust your guest enough to enter your room and not touch your box.”
Thomas considered her words. He’d pictured the mind as a sort of labyrinth of rooms that would be free for any outsider to explore and invade at their discretion. It never occurred to him that maybe a ‘Keep Out’ sign could actually serve as a deterrent. Of course, the real question left unasked was whether he trusted Luna enough to let her in at a time when he’d be at his most vulnerable. Then again, it’s been four months and she’s respected my privacy for this long. And to be frank, if she really wanted in, then there’s probably nothing I could have done to stop her anyway.
“However, there is one other matter to consider,” Celestia continued. “If we were to expand the metaphor of the room to that of a house, as your guest spends more and more time in your house, it will inevitably come to pass that your guest will see fit to leave their toothbrush in your bathroom.” The Princess of the Day snickered at what Thomas assumed to be a dirty joke. “And I can certainly understand how that can come across as especially unnerving.”
“Yeah,” Thomas said with a sigh. “The more time she stays over, the more she’ll rub off me, the more I’ll… not be me.”
“I understand your trepidation, but I can assure you that it is not nearly as frightful as you may be imagining,” said Celestia. “She will not rearrange the furniture, changing how you process the world, without your permission. However, change is one of the few constants of the universe. Even without her impact on your dreams, can you honestly say that, with all the relationships you’ve forged since coming to Equestria, that you are entirely the same man you once were?”
Thomas lowered his gaze in consideration. It didn’t take him long to find an answer. “No.” A smile of satisfaction grew on his lips. “I’m more than I was, and my life’s so much richer for it.”
“And it may be richer still.” Celestia smiled softly. “For to invite Luna into your domain is to welcome the song of her stars to forever echo in your halls.”
“That phrasing could be taken several ways,” Thomas said with a chuckle.
“I am aware,” Celestia said plainly. As she leaned forward, elbows on her desk pushing her breasts up and out, the Princess of the Day batted her eyelids playfully. “I’m also aware that Lulu has been practically itching to share with you the wonders of her art, the same way Prince Hammer once did with her.”
“Oh,” Thomas said as he considered just how much he enjoyed writing with Moonlight, and how Luna must be dying to do the same with him.
Celestia turned to face one of the paintings on the left wall. “She may also have a desire to see how cute you looked in your foalhood, but I imagine that would be one of those things to save for later.”
“Yeah.” Thomas deadpanned. “Later sounds good.”
Thanking Celestia for her advice, Thomas turned to leave, not hearing the alicorn softly mumble something along the lines of “joining the dream orgies.” It was probably nothing important.
“You mean it!?” Luna cheered. She was standing in front of the closet while Silver circled the Princess, putting on the finishing touches on her gown for the evening and making sure everything looked straight. The task was made that much harder by Luna's excited fidgeting. Thomas and Talon simply sat and watched in amusement from the comfort of Luna’s bed.
“I said it, didn’t I?” Thomas sighed nonchalantly. “Tonight, I think I’m ready to let you in my dreams.”
Silver was left spinning when Luna bolted across the room to engulf her favorite (and technically only) concubine within her cleavage in a near bone-crushing embrace.
Once she regained her balance, Silver faced the hugging couple. “If I might speak?” she asked, and Luna nodded. Silver turned towards Thomas, an odd expression on her face. “You mean to say you haven’t been letting the Princess into your dreams? Why?”
“It was kind of a privacy thing.” Thomas shrugged as Luna released him. “But I’m willing to give it a shot now.”
“Even so…” Silver trailed off as she tried to make sense of this. “The Princess is the guardian of all good dreams. Without her, how have you not been plagued by terrible nightmares?”
Thomas turned to Luna. “Plagued? Was it so bad when you were, ya know, gone?”
Luna let out a disappointed sigh. “I know you act out of pure intent, but I must ask that you, the lot of you,” she motioned to Talon and Silver as well, “cease behaving like you must tread upon eggshells around me. I was banished!” Silver flinched at the bluntness of her words. “We all know the story of how my jealousy got the better of me and I was left vulnerable to be possessed by a spirit of darkness. However I am a Princess, not some foal constantly on the verge of tears. It was my mistake, and I ask that those closest to me have the courage to speak of it as proper adults.”
An awkward silence nearly set in until Thomas started leaning on Luna’s side. “Not to change the subject or anything,” he began idly as he patted her outer thigh, “but when we went to the museum and saw some of those paintings of Nightmare Moon…” He waited for a response, but none came. “I kinda thought that armor made you look sexy.” He smiled as Luna began chuckling, the tension sufficiently defused. “Glad I didn’t say anything inappropriate.”
“Good on both of ya,” Talon congratulated. “Especially you, Moonbutt. It takes real guts to hold up to one’s mistakes like that, no matter your age or station. Being able to laugh about it shows chimp’s not the only one who’s come a long way.”
Silver was taken aback by this latest turn of events. While what Talon said made sense, she swelled with pride at her Princess’ personal victory, such casual discussion of the dreaded Nightmare Moon still felt off to her. Even in her own home the name was only uttered under hushed breaths for fear of invoking some curse.
“But to answer your question,” Luna continued, “No. While nightmares were more prevalent in my absence, I do believe Lady Silver to be exaggerating a bit.”
“As you say, Princess.” Silver bowed. If the Princess said it was right, then it was right. End of story.
“Anyway,” Thomas shrugged with a grin. “I’d like to put an emphasis on the was part of my statement.” He added with a grin. “Cuz right now I just can’t think of a good reason to say ‘no’. Besides, after the way everyone’s been building it up, I’m a little curious to see what it’s like.”
**********
The night went by fairly quickly, but not quick enough for Luna. The humdrum of the Night Court was especially aggravating as the Princess wanted nothing more than to have it all done with so she could explore her lover on an entirely new level of intimacy. Since Silver already dreamed of Luna most of the time anyway, the Princess had had no qualms with simply slipping in and sharing a few moments. That these moments were mostly forgotten come the dusk mattered little, as feelings of comfort and contentment remained as strong as ever.
However, not to say that Luna had grown bored of spending time in Silver’s dreams as they were most flattering, but Silver was still a pony. The Princess knew how the minds of ponies, griffons, minotaurs, and the other races all worked and felt. The mind of a human was entirely unexplored territory and it took all of Luna’s might not to just cancel Night Court and maybe offer him a sleep potion on his next appointment. That said, she did ride him especially hard until he passed out from exhaustion.
**********
Luna’s eyes shot open upon entering the comforting familiarity of the dream realm. Per usual, there were few spheres at this time of morning, meaning she wasn’t likely to be distracted by anypony’s nightmares. Pursuing swiftly through the void, it was not difficult for her to spot the sphere that stood out among all others. As dream guardian, Perhaps I should make that a formal title?, Luna could easily tell the difference between dreams. There were markers in their size, the way they floated, their shimmer, glow, and other subtle cues which were a blatant to the Princess as somepony’s sex or fur color. Differences were more notable between species, as ponies’ spheres were more silver while griffons had a fiery orange tint to theirs. Celestia’s sphere was massive and glowed bright yellow, while the relatively smaller, but still impressively alicorn-sized sphere of Cadence’s dream had a bright pink hue.
Thomas’ dream was a deep emerald green that sparkled even more brilliantly than his eyes. It was larger than she’d expected of one his age, suggesting either that he’d accumulated a surprising number of life experiences, or perhaps some other trait which she had the pleasure of discovering for herself. Luna’s mind raced with excitement as she imagined the possibilities. Thomas was a rather timid sort, so maybe she’d find him relaxing on a quiet little island in the middle of a peaceful ocean; a perfect place to hold a picnic. Equally likely was his foalhood, or rather childhood home, granting her the privilege of not only getting to see a younger cuter version of him, but also perhaps gleaming some new insight into his character. Unable to contain her giddiness any longer, she took a deep breath of nonexistent air and dove in.
*Boom!*
Luna was only barely able to pull back at the last second and dodge the terrifying metal contraption as it whizzed by. It had no wings, but spinning metal blades at the top seemed to be keeping it airborne. The contraption, which Luna gleamed as a helicopter through accessing dream logic, was not alone as dozens of the things circled high in the air. Beneath them were ruins covered in indiscernible glyphs, along with soldiers fighting along a poorly constructed ramp. The armored soldiers appeared to have no marks distinguishing one side from the other as they wielded swords, along with strange clubs capable of firing unseen projectiles, which she identified as guns, into their foes as countless soldiers fell into the hazy abyss below. At the center of it all was an especially large rectangular pillar where the soldiers seemed to be making their last stand as the helicopters pelted them with explosions.
Luna pulled clear as she beheld the scene with shock and horror as a single word emerged in the forefront of her mind. War. She gasped, her mind racing with alien words that made up the code of the dream’s matrix. “Thomas… is a child of war?” It was the only thing that made sense, for who else could imagine a battle in such vivid detail. Her heart sunk at this revelation. “I… I had no idea.” Luna confessed to herself as she felt her eyes begin to water. That Thomas, her Thomas had been forced to live through such tragedy, and yet keep it hidden for so long… This must have been what he feared I would see. She reasoned. He told me that humans still fought one another, but he feared how I would react upon seeing it for myself.
Pushing back feelings of hurt at the implications that Thomas still didn’t trust her, Luna resolved to first put an end to this wretched nightmare and save Thomas from reliving such a terrible tragedy. She dove down into the center of the fray, bold in her certainty that the dream would remain intangible until she decided otherwise, as she searched for her beloved. The soldiers’ faces were either obscured or poorly rendered, suggesting they were little more than background, though the lack of any distinguishable faces only brought on a new kind of worry.
Was Thomas’ condition so terrible that he could not bring himself to even befriend his fellow soldiers?
Feeling out the flow of the dream, unfamiliar as it was, Luna soon picked up on the prominent position where the dreamer was most likely situated and looked up to where the helicopters were attacking. “Is that… a screen?” Sure enough, as she closed the distance, she found herself following a white screen as it joined the helicopters in circling the central pillar. Such a thing was rare, as it suggested the dreamer was only passively watching the events unfold and not actually participating, which was especially odd considering where they were.
This makes no sense. How could he be a passive observer in his own battle? Luna queried as she followed the screen. Surely he’d be positioned in one of the helicopters, either as pilot or passenger? She thought as she noticed many of the helicopters had open hulls where other soldiers stood and watched the carnage below. Could it be that human minds are able to disconnect from their bodies? It seemed ludicrous, but she was grasping for any sort of explanation to make sense of all this. Suddenly the screen doubled in speed as it zipped through the fray down onto the central pillar, where the flow of the dream told her it would merge with one of the soldiers. Luna felt torn between a sense of relief at finally having something to interact with, but also dread at coming face to face with her gentle love at what was surely his darkest hour.
No. Luna told herself as she chased the screen with newfound determination. “I am Luna, Princess of the Night. It is my sacred task to protect all Equestrians from that which lurks in the darkness, and I will not allow my Thomas to suffer this ordeal alone. At last the screen slipped seamlessly into one of the soldiers and Thomas’ smiling face was finally… revealed. “What?”
To Luna’s utter befuddlement, there Thomas stood, a ferocious smile upon his face as he swung his blade and indiscriminately cut down foe after foe. So shocked was the alicorn that it took a moment to realize the emotions the dream radiated. It was excitement, pure and simple. It was the thrill of pumping adrenaline and cheering fans as one raced or participated in a gladiatorial match. As Luna processed this, she was able to take note of several other indescripancies. For one thing, in addition to the armor, Thomas’ physique resembled that of an earth pony in being nearly seven feet tall and just so darn buff. After suppressing the tingle between her legs at seeing such a powerfully masculine specimen, Luna had had enough of all this and grabbed Thomas’ metal plated shoulder, pulling him into lucidity. “Thomas!”
“L-Luna?” Thomas asked incredulously as he lowered his sword, the roar of battle dulling as he shifted his focus. “W-what’s happening?”
“Thomas! Focus on me.” Luna instructed as she grabbed both shoulders and positioned him to face her. It was nice having him so close to eye level, but that could wait till later. “This is a dream. Try to clear your mind and focus on the inconsistencies that tell you this isn’t real.” She had prepared an entire speech to reason with the human, some ponies were harder to convince than others in her experience, only for his eyes to widen as she felt his realization as he looked away to examine their surroundings.
“Hey now,” he commented casually as if impressed by what he saw. “This is pretty neat.”
“Neat? Neat!?” Luna growled in disbelief and frustration. “How can this be neat, and why didn’t you tell me you were in a war?”
“War?” Thomas pulled back in surprise at the remark. “I was never in any war.” He tried to laugh it off, but was growing increasingly uncomfortable at how Luna was looking at him like he’d suddenly grown a second head.
“Never…any…” Luna shook her head as her anger mounted and she gestured to the surrounding carnage. “Then what’s all this!?” She demanded.
“Oh boy.” Thomas chuckled as he shook his head. “I… I actually remember this dream,” he admitted, hoping his smile would help calm the mare down. It worked, to the extent that she no longer looked like she was going to explode.
Luna crossed her arms with a huff as she impatiently tapped her hoof. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, mister.”
“Guess so,” Thomas rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment as the battle slowly faded away until they were left in peaceful darkness. “See, I’d been playing this game called ‘Halo’ and…”
He stopped as a new screen appeared off to the side between the pair. It depicted more ruins, like those that had been depicted in the dream, only set in a forest and overlooking a lake or ocean. The viewpoint character was navigating his way, because the dream code said it was a ‘he’, through corridors and along cliffs as he exchanged colorful projectiles with bizarre alien foes the likes of which Luna had never seen or even imagined.
“Halo.” Luna whispered. “Game. Yes. Those are words that kept repeating in the dream matrix.”
“Matrix?”
“The setting in which a dream is made up.” Luna describe, unable to take her eyes away from the screen as alien after alien fell before the viewpoint character’s seemingly unstoppable wrath. “Dreams are comprised of memories and emotions which cobble together to form the dream matrix.” She explained in awe as the game continued.
Being no stranger to lucid dreaming and not liking how he was being ignored, Thomas quickly found the will to banish the screen, causing Luna to blink as though waking from a trance.
“The, uh…” Luna stuttered. “While in this realm, we are tied to whatever memories and experiences were responsible for forming the dream.” She glanced disappointedly where the screen had been. “I am able to see the matrix as a whole, but it’s all just so alien to me. I do not think I can guide us through as easily as I would a pony’s dream.” She confessed. It was disheartening to feel like a stranger in a realm where she should have been the master. Then she blinked and the code rewrote itself as the pair found themselves sitting on a couch in a modest sized living room. “Wow.” Thomas swayed a bit as he aligned himself to the new yet familiar setting. He turned to his chair-mate to find she’d shrunk to be equal to him in size, causing him to smile. She was wearing the dress she normally took to Night Court while he was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. “This is gonna take some getting used to.”
“Indeed.” Luna agreed as she surveyed the room, appreciating the more relaxed atmosphere as she read how the various items related to the new code. A glass door to the right revealed a backyard while the room’s interior all seemed comfortingly mundane, save for the black screen on the wooden stand at the opposite wall. “For example, through the matrix, I am able to identify that,” she pointed, “as a television screen, a device through which you observe news and entertainment. Although, in your case,” she turned an accusing eye upon Thomas, “mostly entertainment.”
“Not my fault the news is so depressing.” Thomas held up his hands defensibly.
“I do not doubt it.” Luna smiled gently. “Although I must confess considerable relief that our prior setting was derived from one of these… video games and not lingering nightmares from a true battle.”
“I think I’d have mentioned if I’d been in a war or not.” Thomas added.
“Not necessarily.” Luna said with an indiscernible look. “With your feelings of excitement as you fought, I was actually worried that you might have been trained as a berserker, one who lives for battle, and that that might have been why you’ve had such difficulty adjusting.”
“Well I can safely say that’s not the case,” Thomas bragged. “Any problems I might have are all due to pony weirdness and my own personal issues.”
“That is a relief.” Luna sighed as she rested her head on his shoulder and hugged his arm.
“So, with that screen back there, you can call up any of my past memories?” Thomas inquired.
“Memories, by definition, are set in the past,” Luna corrected smugly, earning a shake from her lover as she laughed. “You were actually the one to call the screen, not I. Normally I would have more influence to guide the course of the dream, but the intricacies of your human mind are far too different for me to fully interpret at the moment. Even then, I am only able to call upon memories and details that connect to the dream matrix, which is how I understood what a video game is.” She straightened up beside him and returned to examining the room. “That is also how I know that this was your house before coming to Equestria.”
“Can’t get anything by you.” Thomas hummed as he wrapped his arm around Luna’s shoulder. “Though I’ll admit it’s nice having you this size for a change.”
“As much as I’d enjoy exploring this topic to its logical conclusion,” Luna tittered, “I find myself more enthralled by the possibility of seeing an entirely new world.”
Thomas felt tremendously privileged as he was able to witness something he knew was a rare sight, Princess Luna fidgeting excitedly like a child who’d been told they were going to the toy store. As warmth grew deep within him, the human decided that resistance was futile and stood from the couch, carrying her with him. “Why the hell not?”
The next few hours of dream time were spent exploring the wonders of the human world. Thomas was unable to keep from grinning as Luna awed at what to him seemed so mundane, though he could hardly blame for having do the same himself for nearly four months now. As Luna made suggestions of things she wanted to see, Thomas was quickly learning how much control it took to keep his thoughts from bouncing all over the place so that Luna had the time to actually see what he was showing her. They explored shopping malls, schools, airports, highways, and a dozen other locations before Thomas figured Luna was getting too worked up and returned them to the living room at his old house. The Princess looked disappointed for only a second before rushing down the hall to, apparently, where the matrix told her his room was.
The whole thing was especially puny, even compared to Moonlight’s barracks. But Thomas decided against any disparaging comments, or else risk a tongue lashing from the easily excitable mare. Still, there was a bit of comfort in how familiar everything looked exactly as he left it. From the door in the corner, Luna beheld a messy desk covered in papers and clothes on the right side wall; a closet door, which she immediately opened with an ‘o’ face as she examined his old clothes; a tall window with gray drapes on the far wall; a half shelf continuing his relatively minor collection of video games, old school books, and crystals arranged lazily on a wash rag; two shelves full of old toys, cards, and dusty Lego constructs he’d been unable to part with over the years of donations, yard sales, and hand-me-down giveaways to the extended family; a dresser drawer on the left wall, also covered in old papers and other items that constituted a mess; one last window to the front yard; and on the final wall a made bed and a night stand.
Thomas did his best to explain the various items in the room, but became annoyed when Luna would simply access the dream matrix and finish the explanation about half way through. He reached out to stop her from messing with the Legos, only to pull back upon realizing these formerly precious creations were nothing more than figments of his imagination. However, besides the video games, what Luna took particular interest in were the crystals as she listed off the various minerals present.
“A modest collection, but you have a respectable variety.” She commented.
“Yeah.” Thomas shrugged. “I got them when I was on this spirituality kick for a while. Not sure if they helped with any enlightenment, but I do know my dreams got especially trippy after I charged them under a full moon.”
“You don’t say.” Luna’s voice rose in intrigue as she eyed the little rocks.
“You wouldn’t happen to be planning anything, would you?” Thomas asked as he came up behind Luna and rested his chin on her shoulder. “Because if you are, that’d be really sneaky.”
“Why Thomas!” Luna gasped in mock offense. “How could you possibly think that I, the benevolent and illustrious…”
“Did you know your left nostril flares when you fib?” He asked. “Celestia’s too. I think it might be a tell for all alicorns.”
“It does?” Luna asked, pressing her finger to the nostril in question.
“No.” Thomas gave a shit-eating-grin.
Angered at being tricked, Luna readied herself for retaliation, only to be stopped when Thomas wrapped his arms over Luna’s shoulders.
“I just know you.” He said into the side of her neck.
Luna pouted her lip at being so easily disabled. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” She fumed.
“I’m also lucky that you’re cute, Moonlight’s cute, Tali has her charms, and even Silver’s not too bad on the eyes.” He sighed, nuzzling the soft fur of her neck. “Seems I’ve been having a lot of luck recently.”
No more needed to be said as the pair simply spent the remainder of the dream enjoying each other’s company.
The castle was abuzz with activity as servants rushed about at the direction of professional decorators. The ceiling was dusted, only to be covered in cobwebs. Pet shops had offered to loan various harmless spiders to add to the effect. Curtains remained almost perpetually drawn during the day while the magical lamps were modified to emit an eerie green glow so the directors could see as the guests would. Illusions were placed over the countless paintings lining the walls to give them an extra creepy appearance, save for Blueblood’s which was allowed to remain as it was. And the staff working the night shift, despite not technically being affiliated with either Princess, had become rather emboldened as they shared in the sentiment of Luna’s official staff that this was their night.
Luna had to suppress the bounce in her step as she explored along the hallways to examine the work that had been done so far. Nightmare Night was still a few days away, but Celestia had insisted that they make this one extra special to commemorate her sister’s return. Despite having forgiven her sister, Luna still took a perverse pleasure in seeing golden sun banners taken down and replaced with her more elegant moon ones. Apart from the tedious disputes of Night Court and the expansion of business hours, organizing the Nightmare Night festivities was Luna’s first formal duty since her return.
“Dear Auntie,” Blueblood said through a forced grin as he and Luna stood in the grand hall as ponies hurried about readying the decorations. “Do you still insist on allowing commoners to… ‘trick or treat’ in the castle?”
“Naturally, nephew,” Luna began evenly. “This is a night of celebration, my celebration, and I insist upon seeing my little ponies,” she tittered at the use of her sister’s words, “being free to celebrate wherever they choose.”
“I see.” Blueblood nodded. “However, I worry of what the other noble houses will say. After all, the Nightmare Night Masquerade is not only the highlight of the season, but it is also a chance for you to make a good impression on ponies seeing you for the first time. What will they think if you allow the halls to be filled with the rugrats of the common folk?”
Luna rolled her eyes. “Maps have been distributed advising all where the designated trick-or-treat areas are. These areas have been deliberately placed far enough away from the grand hall so as not to disrupt the evening’s party. Trust me, nephew.” She didn’t like it, but the concerns he was raising were not invalid. “The castle staff knows enough to keep their foals in check. Besides, were you a foal, which would you rather partake of: a night of spooky explorations with the promise of candy, or a bunch of stuffy adults concerned about spills on their expensive and custom made suits they lazily try to pass as costumes?”
After a moment of contemplation, Blueblood heaved a defeated sigh. “Very well. I’ll let our guests know that their worries were unfounded.” And he departed.
“And I thank you for that,” Luna said amicably. Despite her initial skepticism, the Princess had come to appreciate the Prince’s role in royal affairs. While often viewed as the stuck-up liaison between the crown and aristocracy, in truth Blueblood was royally appointed to perform the role of devil’s advocate in pointing out each and every little thing he knew the nobility would find fault with. It was a demanding job. In any case, Luna was glad to have that ordeal done with as she resumed examining the decorations.
“Your Highness?”
Luna turned to see a pink earth unicorn approach. He was Party Banner, one of the professional decorators. “Yes, Mr. Banner. How goes the decorations?”
“The decorations are coming along fine.” Banner held up his clipboard, chewing on his pencil as he checked over his notes. “Costumes, too. And I must say my ponies are having a hay of a time with this haunted house you designed.”
“You don’t say.”
“I do, Your Highness.” Banner beamed as he turned the page. “In fact, I’d dare say this may be the most ambitious haunted house my company’s ever had the privilege of constructing. You, my lady, are a genius.”
“Oh stop.” Luna waved him off as she blushed. “The design might be mine, but the one you should really be thanking is Senior Concubine Thomas.”
“The human?”
“Oh yes. As it happens, humans hold to a holiday with striking similarities to Nightmare Night, which they call ‘Halloween’. “In fact,” she paused as she waved her hand across the dark and dreary halls. “All of this was taken from what he has shared with me regarding his native holiday.”
Banner chuckled at the Princess’ enthusiasm. “As you say, Your Highness. All I know for certain is that, if ponies enjoy what we’ve done even half as much as we’ve had putting it together, then we’re probably going to be a seeing a lot of imitations come next year.”
“Splendid!” Luna cheered before taking a more somber expression as Banner turned away. “I just hope he’s ready,” she mumbled to herself.
**********
“Neat costume,” Thomas commented to Talon, idly watching as she posed before the mirror in Luna’s room. “What is it?”
“Thundera!” Talon declared boldly in her Valkyrie attire, which even came with a horned helmet and mighty spear. “Ancient griffon warrior who was said to hold such command over lightning that it made even the pegasi look like novices.” She threw her head back in a deep belly laugh. “And you?” she pointed. “What’s that supposed to be?”
Thomas took a step back to give a clear view of his skintight pinstripe black suit, pointy shoes, pale face paint, an oversized ragged collar, and gloves painted to resemble bone. “Luna picked it out.”
“Yes…” Moonlight eyed him up and down, not once taking a second glance at how tightly the suit clung to his groin. She had come as a Romaren Legionnaire with a bright red headdress on her helmet to show that she was a Lieutenant of the old legion. The armor might have just been cloth, but she still wore a chainmail undershirt just in case. Even if she did have the night off, it never hurt to be prepared. “But what is it?”
“Jack Skellington,” Thomas answered, accepting that they wouldn’t get the reference. “I was thinking about coming as Freddy Krueger, for irony reasons, but Luna said she didn’t want me frightening the nobility.”
“So this is the less scary option?” Moonlight asked, gesturing to the human.
“Scary?” Thomas did a double take on his costume. “You think this is scary?”
“It’s a little unnerving, I’ll give ya that,” Talon added as she too regarded the costume.
“Isn’t that the point of the holiday, though?” Thomas asked. “We revel in the scary stuff so we can laugh about it later.”
“Either way, I might be tempted to throw you at some pompous duke or countess just to see how they’d react to raining chimp skeletons,” Talon deadpanned. “Just a heads-up. What?” she asked as Moonlight fixed her with a very stern glare. “I only said that I’d be tempted, not that I’d actually do it. Sheesh!” Talon rolled her eyes at the glaring mare as she made for the door. “Some ponies can be so uptight.”
The trio eventually departed and, in their usual fashion, walked together as they explored the decorations out on full display. True to the hype Luna had been building up for nearly a week, the castle virtually popped with rubber masks, eerie lights, and all manner of decorations that made every nook and cranny scream that this was Halloween, or Nightmare Night if you so prefer.
This part of the castle had been sectioned off for families as foals and their chaperones made their way between doors marked for trick-or-treating. Foals screamed in delight and fear as each door opened to reveal a different kind of monster jump out and scare them before offering candy to those brave enough not to run away. It was all so cavity-inducingly cute, except for the parts where Thomas was mistaken for a foal and invited to join the trick-or-treating. That was just awkward.
“Hello there, all,” came the melodious voice of Silver from above as she glided down to the ground in front of them.
“Sup, sweet wings.” Talon greeted as she glanced between both mares’ costumes. “That wouldn’t happen to be a Romaren dress, would it?”
“Oh, so you noticed.” Silver did a slow twirl, the heavy folds of the toga only briefly leaving the ground. “This is actually called a toga and… What?” she asked as Thomas snickered.
“Oh, just a little thing I remember from history class.”
“I’m always up for a little history.” Silver said.
“Well…” Thomas did a quick mental check to make sure the thing he planned to say wouldn’t be taken as an insult. “We also had a civilization that wore togas. Only, when the women wore them, it was to show that they were actually prostitutes.” He braced himself for the worst.
Silver beamed with an open mouth smile. “Thank you, Sir Thomas! I think you might be the first one all night who actually understood the historical relevance.” She tittered, doing another spin. “That’s precisely why I chose this costume. Do you think the Princess will be impressed?” she added meekly.
“I think she’ll appreciate the sentiment,” Thomas told her with an approving nod, glad he’d interpreted the context correctly.
“Not that impressive,” Moonlight grumbled under her breath, but not quietly enough to escape the notice of the nearby flyers.
“So,” Silver beamed, her ear flicking as she otherwise pretended she’d heard nothing. “They’re saying the haunted house won’t be open for another hour. You two,” she motioned meaningfully to Thomas and Talon, “wouldn’t happen to have a clue what we’re in for, would you?”
Talon casually shoved Thomas forward. “This one does, but he’s been keeping pretty tight-lipped about the whole thing. I swear, ‘Luna’s orders’ is gonna become the little guy’s new catchphrase or something.”
“Only when it’s at your expense, feather brain.” Thomas grinned back. “I, on the other hand,” he said, affecting a haughty tone, “am merely following the orders of my Princess.”
“As you should.” Moonlight and Silver had spoken in unison, and they stared at each other in horror as they realized what they’d done.
“Well, well, well,” Talon said teasingly as she leaned forward and pressed her beak against Thomas’ ear. “Similar tastes in costumes and sentiments of loyalty. I can’t help but wonder what else these two might have in common. How about you?”
“Hmph!” The mares huffed in unison as they turned their heads away.
Glancing quizzically between the mares and seeing no sign that either was willing to speak, Thomas turned to face the griffon, only barely pulling back in time to avoid pressing his lips to her beak. “Something I need to know?”
“Oh.” Talon shrugged casually as she messed his hair. “Just a couple of silly fillies acting silly.”
“I’m not a…” The two mares stopped as they glared angrily at one another, still in synch. “Stop that. No, you stop. I mean it!” The mares’ voices rose in anger.
“Ahem!” All eyes fell upon a familiar Prince, blond mane coiffed fashionably over a shining black tuxedo, a black cape lined with shimmering red material, and a red bandanna over his eyes as he looked upon the group with barely hidden contempt. He held a glass of red wine in his left hand while the right was folded under his chest.
“My Prince!” Silver bowed her head low and curtseyed before the stallion. She didn’t know why this had earned exacerbated groans from her companions, or why Moonlight had stepped in front of Thomas, but decided to play it safe until she had all the facts. “I deeply apologize for my crass behavior. Such is unbecoming of a daughter of House Bell.”
“Ah, finally some manners,” Blueblood cheered as he motioned for Silver to rise. “It’s so refreshing to see such civility under my beloved Auntie’s employ.”
“I trust you’re not planning to dishonor your own house tonight,” Talon warned. “Cuz I got no problems challenging ya to another… sparring match.” She grinned, but the ruffling of her feathers was a clear indicator of aggression.
“Not at all,” Blueblood said confidently, ignoring the threat. “And you’re welcome, by the way.”
Thomas blinked in confusion as he glanced between the stallion and the now blushing wren. What’d I just miss?
“I was just exploring this wing of the castle to make sure all was in order when I noticed the oddest disturbance, and low and behold I find you three ruffians contaminating this fine treasure,” he smiled at Silver, “with your brutishness.”
“Your Highness,” Silver began apologetically. “That’s not really-”
“Lay off it, Blue Balls.” Talon rolled her eyes in annoyance as she pulled Silver by her side, earning a blush from the bat mare. “She’s one of us and we’re kinda busy right now, so why don’t you say your piece and get back to double dealing, or whatever.”
One of us? Silver repeated the phrase over and over in her mind until it became a mantra, reveling in the implications.
One of us? Moonlight also repeated in her mind, but with much more dread.
“Perish the thought.” Blueblood pressed his free hand to his chest in a show of hurt. “I merely thought I’d do my Auntie’s servants the courtesy of reminding them of just how important this night is for Equestria’s newest Princess.” His grin grew ever so slightly when he found he had his audience’s undivided attention. “I am familiar enough with House Bell that such an explanation is likely unnecessary for her, but the rest of you…” His eyes roamed over the others. “Not only is this engagement the first time many of Equestria’s elite will meet Princess Luna, but it has been organized almost entirely by her.
“Now, I know full well what the lot of you think of me, but I honestly don’t care.” Blueblood flicked his mane back. “If anything, I find it mildly flattering. What I do care about is this royal engagement going off as swimmingly as possible.”
“Why?” Thomas asked curtly, not noticing Silver’s silent pleas for him not to act so rudely. “What’s in it for you?”
“Besides simple loyalty to the crown?” Blueblood rolled his eyes when the human did not look satisfied. “If you must know, functions such as this are how Equestria is maintained. Never mind the petty complaints in the courts or Parliament. It is here that the most powerful ponies in Equestria gather to forge alliances that hold the potential to make or break an entire city, perhaps even a nation. One wrong word to the wrong pony can have disastrous consequences, the likes of which can be felt for decades to come,” he proclaimed theatrically. “I only wish to ensure that you know what you’re getting into before you cause an international incident.”
Thomas stood firm before the large stallion’s glare. While still certain Blue Balls was playing at something, he couldn’t help but think the Prince probably had some investments in these supposed alliances, meaning that the big dick with the big dick wasn’t being entirely disingenuous. “Alright.” Thomas nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“As you should.” Blueblood frowned contemplatively as he turned, his cape billowing in the air, and he departed with the suave and elegance typically reserved for royalty.
“So how much of that was him talking out his ass?” Thomas asked his companions.
“Exaggerated,” Silver frowned. “But not entirely wrong.”
Talon folded her arms, strangely somber. “A lot of deals do go down at these things, but they don’t have anything to do with you, chimp.”
“That’s what my father said,” Moonlight added. “The nobility plays their little games, but they at least have the good sense not to rope in the uninitiated, especially those who have the Princess’ favor.”
“Just smile, act polite, and don’t agree to sneak off alone with anypony,” Silver cautioned.
“You will get bucked, one way or another.” Talon added. “Also, if things get bad, just clamp yourself into a ball. It’ll reduce wind resistance.”
“No,” Moonlight said flatly.
“What are you talking about?” Silver asked.
“Tali wants to throw me like a ball at ponies she doesn’t like,” Thomas answered flatly.
“Oh,” Silver said with surprising acceptance. “But isn’t that dangerous if you don’t have wings?”
Thomas slowly turned his head to face the bat mare. “I’m sensing this is more than just a prank.”
Silver chuckled at the human’s naiveté and her chance to show off her expertise. “Tis an old Prench tradition,” the bat mare bragged. “We are very impassioned ponies, and games such as zese are often played during our festivities,” she explained, slipping a bit into her Prench accent.
“You throw each other?” Thomas asked.
“Only if ze pony has vings. Ve are not savages, you know.”
As Silver went into depth on the origins of a tradition that Moonlight was only vaguely familiar with, the unicorn suddenly became aware of the awful truth: Silver was with them, and there was no polite way to send the bat pony away. Tonight especially so since the evening’s events promised a prime opportunity to cozy up to the human and infringe on her Thomas time. Ears slumping, Moonlight Shield was not optimistic of the evening’s affairs.
The festivities of the evening had been divided into shifts, of which the first began at 8 p.m. on the dot. Foals had swarmed the castle in droves and would, if their parents’ allowed, continue to do so for the next several hours as the halls echoed with squeals of delight. However, those were just the day time foals, as those who were awake in the evening proper would get their chance for excitement and sweets at 8 a.m.
While the Masquerade, the real highlight of the evening, did not formally begin until 10 p.m. that did not stop guests from arriving as early as 7. Early bird catches the worm as they say, especially when that worm was a chance to get in good with Equestira’s newest Princess. Pending that, at the very least it gave them bragging rights over those who came later.
Luna had decided to dress in a sexy bunny outfit. It was attire which, until tonight, had been entirely unknown to Equestria. Complete with large black bunny ears, latex stockings, and a poofy white cotton tail above her own, the Princess of the Night was the undisputed center of attention for the evening and she loved it. She was even able to discern genuine praise from the noble’s empty flattery regarding how cute she looked in that outfit. This pleased Luna on a number of levels, especially since she’d thwarted her sister’s efforts to upstage her by dressing as a sexy cat lady. It wasn’t anything malicious on Celestia’s part, just something sisters were obligated to do to each other. However, the votes were in and it was bunny costume for the win.
Meanwhile, as they maneuvered through the gradually growing crowds in the grand hall, Silver had stealthily taken Talon’s place to Thomas’ right, much to the griffon’s silent approval. The new mare was doing well for herself, especially in how she even took up Talon’s role in encouraging Thomas to mingle a little. Moonlight, on the other claw, was far more disappointing. Despite having the night off, the unicorn simply refused to come out of guard mode and just looked stiff as a golem, at least when she wasn’t trying to set Silver on fire with her eyes each time the smaller mare came a little too close to Thomas. Stabled as she was, the griffon felt it was her sworn duty to resolve this matter.
“So explain to me again,” Silver inquired. “What is your costume supposed to be?”
“Jack Skelington, the Pumpkin King,” Thomas said as he let his eyes roam across the party.
Streamers of autumn orange hung from the ceiling while banners bearing Luna’s cutie mark adorned the walls. The volume of the mingling guests was fairly moderate as all costumed ponies exchanged pleasantries. More than once Thomas spotted some noble pony looking rather shocked when they realized the pony they’d been conversing with was just actually servant and not a fellow guest thanks to the costumes. Near the center of the hall was a large buffet table where ponies casually snatched up all manner of holiday themed treats before resuming their mingling.
“He’s a character from one of my favorite movies growing up.”
“Movie?” Silver asked. “As in one of those instructional films?”
“The same kind of machine, but we also use film to tell stories, like plays,” Thomas informed.
“Well that’s certainly creative,” Silver said with a titter. Growing up in a noble house, the bat pony was no stranger to flattery for the sake of flattery. That was simply part of the culture of the rich and affluent as was on clear display as her bat pony hearing picked up numerous remarks lavishing words of praise onto Luna’s efforts with the party. But she was genuinely impressed to learn what humans were capable of. On top of giving the human stallion a chance to talk, something she was certain would help endear herself to him, she was also looking forward to learning more about his ways in the hopes of simply getting closer on a personal level.
“Why don’t you tell us a bit more about Jack?” Moonlight interjected, shooting Silver a look of disapproval. “What made you like his story when you were a foal?” The unicorn was aware of what the bat pony was trying to do, but something deep down told her that she shouldn’t let herself fall behind.
“I guess it was the songs and visuals, mostly,” Thomas answered as his head swiveled around. “But what’s this I’m hearing about a costume fight between the Princesses?”
“Oh that,” Talon replied. “Leste said it’s an old tradition of theirs to compete to see who has the best costume. Sorry to say, but as cute as she looks in that skin tight cat costume, I’m afraid I gotta agree that Luna’s bunny suit just takes the cake.”
“I had seen them both earlier,” Silver chimed in. “Some were saying Princess Celestia might have stood a better chance if she’d gone with something more eye-popping than plain brown, like stripes or spots. Now, call me biased,” she glanced around guiltily, “but I’d say the Princess of the Night would have had the sun beat anyway, no matter the patterns used.”
“Tell me about it,” Talon chortled. “Moonbutt’s costume practically looks like a swimsuit with bunny ears.” She licked her tongue across her beak. “That’s yummy on all kinds of levels.”
“Agreed, but I think I’ll reserve judgment till I see what the rest of the competition is,” Thomas added.
Moonlight couldn’t help but feel a little dejected at how her inquiry had been dismissed so casually. It wasn’t like Thomas had done so with any ill intent, but it still hurt to be shot down like that.
“Silver Bell!” Exclaimed a golden earth mare with a blue mane and wearing an unflatteringly frumpy pineapple costume.
“Pineapple Punch!” Silver greeted in turn as the mares lightly kissed each other’s cheeks. “How have you been?”
“Not as good as you, I imagine,” Pineapple tittered. “I take it that your presence here means that you’ve finally, as your mother is so fond of saying, ‘reclaimed the family’s lost legacy’? I swear that mare’s going to be insufferable from now on.”
Silver shook her head in amusement at the other mare’s plight. “I’m still just an attendant. However,” she stepped aside and motioned to her companion. “Might I introduce you to Senior Concubine Sir Thomas, Equestria’s one and only human. Sir Thomas. This is Countess Pineapple Punch.”
“Indeed,” Pineapple said with a clearly forced smile as she adjusted her monocle. “And what, might I ask, are you dressed as?”
The older mare’s tone and body language were not lost on Silver as she stepped forward and firmly gripped the earth mare’s hand in a seemingly friendly gesture. It wasn’t enough to hurt, but it did deliver the message that the Countess had better watch her tone of voice. The earth mare and bat pony held a silent conversation with their eyes in which Silver made it clear that, even as just an attendant, she was still a Bell and not to be trifled with, especially in front of a stallion whose favor mattered a great deal to her.
Pineapple smiled at the smaller mare. In the world of the aristocracy, Silver’s warning was less of a threat and more of a gentle reminder that Pineapple had nearly made a fool of herself, for which she nodded in gratitude. Disrespecting a colt that a Princess held dear was a faux pas tantamount to social suicide. Moving her social face back into position with a bright smile, Pineapple prepared herself to shower this young feminine colt with the typical bout of praise expected from such engagements, at least until she saw the orange unicorn by his side.
Another silent conversation followed, but this mare dressed as a soldier was quite clearly military at heart. Further, her body language conveyed a very clear aggressive stance. Rather than the defensive stance akin to a mare guarding her stallion, the unicorn’s posturing was closer to an announcement that she was ready to lunge at any moment. Unwilling to risk bodily harm at the hands of this brutish mare, Pineapple politely excused herself to elsewhere in the grand hall.
As she watched the disrespectful mare scurry off like the coward she was, an agitated Moonlight swiveled her head around to make sure everypony knew the score. Thomas was her responsibility and she wasn’t about to let any of them get anywhere near him. Just as she felt the relief of seeing the costumed ponies avert their eyes or back away, she then felt a claw grip her shoulder. There was a rush of adrenaline as she turned to face her assailant and very nearly flipped the claw’s owner over her back before a familiar beak pressed itself against her nose.
“What the hay was that?” Talon hissed.
Moonlight blinked in surprise as she realized she’d nearly hurt her friend. “I…”
Donning a fake smile for the crowd, Talon subtly looked around and gently lead Moonlight off to the corner. Moonlight tried to resist, not wanting to abandon Thomas to those vultures, especially with that gray bat butt, but eventually gave in as she understood that her prior behavior required immediate adjustment. When they were far enough away, Talon released her grip on the mare and stared at her with silent condemnation.
“Smarty,” Talon said flatly. “What’re you doing?”
“I… I was just…” Moonlight wanted so badly to argue that she was just coming to Thomas’ defense, but the truth was that there was no excuse for her behavior back there. “I was overstepping my bounds as Sir Thomas’ bodyguard,” she said robotically.
“Worse,” Talon stated. “You overstepped your bounds as his friend.”
Moonlight blinked in befuddlement.
“Now I could go on a little tirade on how you went way past looking out for his safety,” Talon began. “But you’re out of uniform, so I’m not gonna do that. Instead, I’m going to tell you that you’ve been acting like a spoiled brat ever since Silver showed up.”
It took all of Moonlight’s willpower not to glance over to where Thomas was to make sure he hadn’t been kidnapped by the bat pony. The look in Talon’s eyes told her now was not the time for that. The griffon had gone full military, triggering the mare’s old instincts to stand quietly while her superior officer explained in graphic detail all the ways that she was a complete buck-up.
“Now I’ll admit that I’m not exactly innocent in all this either, but you just crossed a line.”
“Ma’am?” Moonlight asked.
“I noticed what we were doing almost at the start, but I didn’t do anything about it because it didn’t seem that bad at the time,” Talon lamented. “However, ever since Ponyville I’ve been noticing all the looks you’ve been giving to any strange pony that gets too close to the chimp. You see what I’m getting at?” She asked with a gentleness unbecoming of a drill sergeant.
“Ma’am. No ma’am.”
“You bucked up when you let your guard down with Lyra and now you’re overcompensating.” Talon sighed mournfully. “Like I said, we were both kind of doing that from the start, scaring off any that might pose a threat to our stallion.”
Moonlight wanted to protest that she didn’t think of Thomas like that, but kept her mouth shut.
“And, not gonna lie, I really enjoyed it when it was just the three of us like that.” Talon smiled with a sigh. “The little guy… Something about him just triggers a gal’s instinct to protect, ya know?”
“Ma’am.” Moonlight nodded in solemn acceptance. There was no denying the truth. And the truth was the mare really did get a primal pleasure out of staying by Thomas’ side and protecting him like he was her very own stallion or colt.
“But we both bucked up when I let it just go on and you started standing in the way of the chimp making new friends.”
“Ma’am.” Moonlight waited for Talon to give permission to speak. “With all due respect, Pineapple Punch was not a new friend. She was a brownnosing social climber with every intent of using Thomas for her own agenda and then wearing him like a damn bangle.” Moonlight breathed deeply threw her nose. “Ma’am.”
“One hundred and ten percent on the dot.” Talon nodded in approval.
“Ma’am?”
“Call me ‘ma’am’ again and I’ll slap your ears off.”
Moonlight stood at attention. “Yes m-sir.”
“Better.” Talon nodded. “But you’re right. That kind of thing is clear as night to you or me, but chimp’s still pretty naïve about all this. If anything, you should have done what sweet wings did.” Talon narrowed her eyes as Moonlight’s jaw tensed, but ultimately the mare gave no other response. “Not sure if you noticed, but that filly performed perfectly. She gave the other mare a fair warning and then stepped aside to let Thomas have his turn.”
“But…”
Talon coughed, cutting the mare off. “The often neglected part of protecting is making sure your charge is still able to stand on his own two paws even if you’re not around. We might have been building up his body, but we’ve also been denying him the chance to learn social skills, those things he’s been lacking the most. And, sorry to say it, but the only way he’s gonna learn that stuff is trial by fire.”
As Moonlight braced herself for another volley of chastisement, she was surprised to instead be scooped up in a powerful embrace as her face was buried in the griffon’s feathery shoulder. It didn’t take long for another instinct to kick in as she eased into the embrace. Talon had employed one of the oldest tricks she’d learned since moving to Canterlot. When all else fails, never forget that ponies liked hugs.
“Smarty,” Talon cooed.
It took a second for Moonlight to settle on how to answer. “Tali.”
**********
“Well that’s annoying,” Firestorm mumbled as he observed the mare and wren converse through his scrying compact mirror. The orange stallion had dismissed himself from the budding party for some private time in the bathroom. He never really cared for parties. He’d come dressed as a stereotypical bandit with a black wool hat, black eye mask, black and white striped shirt, and black trousers. The mirror’s volume had been enchanted so that only its wielder could hear what was said. And while, from a personal standpoint, he agreed that Moonlight really should stop smothering Thomas, from a professional standpoint the guard backing off her charge potentially left the human open for anypony to get him before Firestorm could make his move.
“Boss’d kill me if I let somepony else get ‘em on my watch. Heh. Probably have my other arm, too.” Firestorm chuckled as he rubbed at the prosthetic on his right arm. He hated the thing as it always made his phantom arm start itching. Unfortunately, the thing was crucial for these infiltration missions so he had to muscle through it.
As he finished relieving himself and prepared to leave, Firestorm lit his horn and the image in the mirror changed to display Thomas and Silver. They were talking to some stallion Firestorm felt had the kind of pompous face just asking for a good punch, but most ponies didn’t ask his opinions on such things. More relevant to the mission was how smoothly the human and bat pony were getting along after such a short time.
“That’s probably gonna complicate things,” he sighed in acceptance. Deactivating the mirror and flipping it closed, Firestorm slipped the innocuous compact into his pocket and readied himself to return to the den of noise, lies, and false faces.
**********
“Fascinating.” Duke Hazel Nut, a pegasus stallion dressed as a clown, said as he nodded in contemplation. “So, in the long run, tariffs actually hurt the nation imposing them?”
“Exactly.” Thomas nodded as he held out his glass of apple juice for one of the butlers to refill. “One metaphor I remember is that the mercantile system views wealth as a pie. There’s only so much to go around and all the countries cling desperately to what shares they have while trying to steal the portions of others.”
“Mh hmm.” Hazel nodded in interest.
“But wealth’s actually a lot more flexible than that. Take that new self-correcting typewriter, for example. Each of its parts are only worth so much on their own, but combined they’re worth more than their sum. They’ve created additional value and, basically, made the pie bigger.”
“And how big does the pie get?”
“There’s no known limit.” Thomas beamed as he imparted his middle school knowledge like he was some great professor onto this well-to-do and learned stallion. “Lowering or even abolishing tariffs gives you access to resources, be they labor or materials, that are of the lowest cost but of the greatest quality, thus creating more or equal wealth from less expense.”
“The free market principle you mentioned earlier.” Hazel pointed out, hoping to impress this colt with his knowledge. Despite his frightful appearance, this foreigner displayed remarkable insights into theories that were only just getting off the ground. The stallion was especially intrigued by the mention that the wealth created in a single century at the height of the human country’s employ of the free market had resulted in that country being dominant in their part of the world the following century.
“Precisely.”
“Thomas,” Silver said as she as she gently brushed his arm. “This is a party. I’m sure the good Duke doesn’t want to stand here talking tariffs and taxes all night.” She shot the Duke the briefest of warnings.
“Indeed,” Hazel bobbed his head cordially, not wanting to overstay his welcome. Besides, he’d learned more than enough to have a few words with his associates back in Trottingham. “In fact, I see some friends whom I’ve been meaning to catch up with. Till next time, Sir Thomas.” He bobbed his head one last time before making his leave.
“I’ll be here.” Thomas waved back, hoping he didn’t look too awkward. Reflecting on all he’d said, Thomas felt he could have organized his thoughts a lot better.
“You ought to be careful with whom you discuss such ideas,” Silver said, not meeting the human’s eyes as she watched the Duke vanish into the crowd.
“Really?”
“Really.” Silver nodded. “It’s like giving away the cow when you could be selling the milk.” The bat pony glanced around at the innumerable ponies who had no doubt been eavesdropping. “You could be making a pretty bit giving lectures at universities with those ideas of yours.”
“You think so?” Thomas asked with a frown.
“Most definitely.” Silver said with a growing grin. “Besides, it never hurts to start setting up a nice little nest egg for the future.”
“Right.”
Silver raised an eyebrow at the human’s skeptical tone, only to find him looking off in the direction Talon had taken Moonlight. “Something the matter?”
“I don’t know.” Thomas sighed. “It’s just something’s been bothering Moonlight all night and I’m worried for her. You have any ideas?”
Uh oh, Silver thought. Her initial reaction to Moonlight’s deplorable behavior was to simply ignore it. However, the more she thought about it, the more she strangely found herself also feeling concern for the unicorn. But the real kicker of it all was that there was this cute little stallion displaying his vulnerability and showing such concern for his friend. How could she resist and still call herself a mare? “For the sake of context, I feel that you should know that Private Moonlight did something very uncouth, which is no doubt what Lady Talon is discussing with her.”
“What’d she do?” Thomas asked. He saw the way other ponies suddenly became apprehensive around her, but didn’t see her doing anything that might warrant such a reaction.
“She assumed an… I suppose you could call it an especially aggressive posture. Even in a dueling ring, such a gesture would be a troubling sight as it suggests the pony is in a dangerously foul mood and has little concern for the wellbeing of any the posture is directed at.”
Thomas glanced back over at his friends. “Why would she do that?”
“I’m not certain.” Silver had a few theories, but didn’t especially care for any of them or how they made her feel. “I suppose you could say she’s being a little overprotective of you.”
“But she’s my bodyguard,” Thomas countered. “She’s supposed to protect me.”
“Not like that.” Silver shook her head. “She’s…” Silver stopped when she saw Talon approaching with Moonlight right behind her. The mare had taken a much more relaxed and even submissive posture while the griffon had a look of determination about her. “Perhaps she can explain for herself.” She motioned to the pair.
“Moonlight.” Thomas rushed up to her. “You… Are you alright?”
“I am now.” The mare’s dour expression suddenly brightened at seeing how concerned Thomas was for her. “I simply needed a little reminder,” she gently brushed Talon’s leg with her tail, “that I need to step back a little more and let you meet ponies on your own. I’m sorry for my lack of manners.” She lowered her head apologetically.
“And I forgive you,” Thomas said with a smile.
Moonlight blinked in surprise at how quickly he’d replied. “Y-you do?”
Seeing her look of confusion, Thomas gestured over to the bat pony. “Silver explained.”
Moonlight had to resist the urge to glare at the bat pony for whatever foul things she might have said.
“And I really appreciate you looking out for me,” Thomas continued. “But I don’t want that to be the only thing you do.” Why’s she blushing? Also, why is my heart suddenly pounding? “You’re my friend, Moonlight. It’d be nice if we could just relax and hang out more.”
While the mention of ‘friend’ stung a little, for reasons unknown, Moonlight felt her stomach perform backflips at the desire for her company. “I’d like that.”
“Oops,” Talon said casually as she took interest in the ceiling. Thoughtless griffon that she was, Talon had bumped Moonlight’s flank with her own, catching the mare off guard and sending her stumbling forward until she had to catch herself on Thomas. “Clumsy me.”
Naturally the human had reached out and soon the pair was staring into one another’s eyes as they held each other’s arms.
Unfortunately, the awkward pause was going on too long for the griffon’s liking. “Just hug and make up, already,” she growled.
The human and mare slipped further along the other’s arms until their chests were pressed together. Both found comfort in their partner’s warmth. Thomas felt Moonlight’s muscles beneath the cloth on her back and took a peculiar comfort in the way her strong arms enveloped him. On the other hand, Moonlight’s examination of Thomas’ hard work at the gym had reminded her of how she’d always had a thing for smaller colts with just a little bit of muscle.
As Silver watched the scene unfold, she couldn’t decide whether to coo at how cute the two friends were as they made up, or if she would have better luck at combustion through will power as Moonlight had tried. At seeing Moonlight open her eyes and give her a triumphant smile, Silver settled for the latter.
One would not think an eight foot alicorn dressed as a sexy bunny would be all that stealthy. Luna was kicking that theory’s teeth in as she slipped away from the party, still in its infancy, and dashing between hiding spots to watch the little foals go from room to room in search of their treats. It never failed to warm her heart each time she heard their squeals of delight turn into bouts of laughter each time some stallion or mare jumped out at them.
“Best Nightmare Night ever!” One foal dressed as a ghost declared as his friends joined in the cheer.
Luna had nearly fallen from her spot in the rafters at what she’d heard. She’d initially been nervous about what she’d heard about the holiday celebrating her greatest failure had become. But seeing all those happy foals as they showed off their bounty for the evening, Luna had no doubts that this was a holiday she could really get behind.
Speaking of getting behind things, all this jitteriness was giving way to a different kind of anxiety. Seeing so many mares and stallions dressed in such provocative costumes was not helping. The Princess of the Night needed relief if she was to be in top form for her later performance.
**********
Moonlight’s behavior was much improved for the remainder of the evening as she allowed ponies to approach and converse with her friend as they saw fit. She’d even joined in and struck up a few conversations on her own. That said, one would be forgiven for thinking that she and her human friend were attached at the hip with how she stuck by his side. The same could be said for Silver.
At some point the mares had started this odd competition with one another to see who could impress Thomas the most. The preliminary round had started when they took him over to the buffet and tried to see what kinds of food he liked, though he’d resisted their efforts to feed him. Next they’d tried seeing who could introduce Thomas to the most new ponies. More than simple quantity, the mares seemed to be keeping an unwritten score regarding quality of the conversation, how polite the other ponies were, Thomas’ overall enjoyment, and other factors that only they knew of.
Thankfully the buffet had a helping offering of popcorn, from which Talon simply could not resist as she watched the show unfold. Only once did she have to step in as referee when Silver had encroached on Moonlight’s turn to introduce Thomas to a mare dressed like a witch. After that the competitors behaved themselves much better, but were no less determined to win.
“I wonder if this monogamy thing’s contagious,” Talon mumbled to herself. It was the only explanation that seemed to fit. These grown mares were fighting over a stallion like little foals over a ball, too riled up to realize that balls are at their most fun when shared. “Ha,” she laughed at her unintended yet remarkably topical joke.
“Psst!”
Talon perked up from the table she’d been leaning on and swiveled her head around.
“Psst!”
The griffon glanced down to find a large black gloved hand sticking out of the white table cloth and motioning her forward. Never one to disappoint, Talon made sure the coast was clear before diving in after it.
“Why Moonbutt,” Talon cooed, batting her eyelids playfully at the mare huddled under the table. “What brings you here this fine evening?”
Luna glared condemningly at the griffon as her ears were bent forward in the confined space. “Why have neither of my faithful concubines responded to my summons?”
“Say what?”
“I sent out the call over ten minutes ago, yet the both of you have blatantly ignored it in direct violation of your duties.” She hissed in clear agitation. “Why?”
Perplexed, Talon tapped a claw to the side of her head but didn’t notice anything odd. She then blinked as her eyes widened in realization. “Leste,” she whispered.
“Sister?” Luna pulled back in shock as her lip curled up into a snarl. “Of course. We should have known it was her. That oversized flank of hers was always infamous for practical jokery, but this, interfering with the private beeper system… It’s just going too far.” She added with a hint of desperation.
“Say no more.” Talon pressed a clawed finger to the alicorn’s lips. “It’s alright,” she said sympathetically. “Now, do you think you’ll be good with just me, or do I need to call chimp over too?”
Luna peeked through a crack in the table cloth to spy Thomas with his arms locked between Silver and Moonlight as they lead him around. “We would hate to interfere with such touching bonding,” she trailed off with a whimper.
You have no idea. Talon rolled her eyes.
“On the other hand, it would be such shame to put the modifications of his costume to waste.”
“Modifications?” Talon asked as her eyebrow rose. “What modifications?”
Luna let out a defeated sigh. “Later. For now, you will have to do.”
“Well you sure know how to make a wren feel appreciated,” Talon said with a snark, only to find herself in Luna’s chambers following a brief flash of light,
**********
Firestorm shook his head as he pretended to touch up the makeup meant to make him look extra grimy. The mirror had turned to static. He’d expected nothing less as the enchantments protecting the Princesses have always been top of the line. And while he was disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to see what manner of debauchery Luna was getting up to, he couldn’t ignore the opportunity he’d been presented with.
**********
“The haunted house is open?” Silver repeated the good news as she tugged tightly on Thomas arm. “Oh, we simply must partake. Thomas. Would you do a humble mare the honor of allowing her to escort you to this much anticipated attraction?”
“Humble?” Moonlight softly grumbled before tightening her grip on the human’s other arm. “I admit, I’ve also been dying to see what the Princess has come up with all night,” she cheered.
“That old thing?” A posh mare dressed as a mummy scoffed as she swished her wine glass around. “You mean to say you’re actually interested in some silly funhouse meant for foals?”
“Haunted House!” Thomas, Moonlight, and Silver said in unison.
“And it’s not just for foals,” Silver added defiantly. “I’ll have you know I heard from Party Banner himself that this haunted house, the finest he’s ever worked on, will be an absolute ‘scream’ for the entire family.”
“That’s exactly what I said.” The posh mare elaborated. “Family friendly is just another way of saying it’s something adults have to put up with as they’re dragged along by their snot-nosed foals.”
“Oh dear.” Moonlight said woefully as she cupped her free hand to the side of her face. “I’d hate to see how upset Princess Luna would be at hearing such disparaging words of something she designed.” She accented with a warning.
The posh mare looked momentarily taken aback, but quickly recovered with a dismissive scoff. “Oh please. As if the Princess would lower herself to designing something so petty. And shame on the both you for telling such lies just to impress your colt.” She gestured to Thomas.
“I’m not their colt,” Thomas said evenly. “I’m Sir Thomas, Senior Concubine of Princess Luna’s Harem.” He puffed up his chest, never feeling prouder in his title. “And these lovely ladies,” he pulled his elbows in close, “were just going to show me to my lovely Princess’ latest creation before my next meeting with her. Well ladies?” He looked to either mare to see they were both holding their heads up high in pride. “Shall we?”
“We shall.” Silver and Moonlight said together as they, in unison, threw back their heads, waving their manes, and marched in step right past the dumbstruck posh mare.
It wasn’t until after the trio were out of sight that the posh mare remembered herself and tried to chase after them to mitigate whatever damage she might have caused. Instead, the bandages around her legs had somehow tied themselves together in a nice neat little bow, causing her to trip, tear at the costumes of several important ponies in her frantic flailing, and throw what remained of her drink into a certain white stallion’s face. The whole thing was so perfectly coordinated; one might suspect it was staged.
**********
“Excuse me.”
Stopping as one, trio turned to see a unicorn stallion dressed as a bandit casually approaching from behind.
“Hello. Sorry.” He took note of both mares’ posturing. They’d assumed a defensive stance, the sort a herded mare would take when she wasn’t in the mood to share her stallion. “Sorry for not speaking up sooner.” He lowered his head meekly and stopped at the invisible line that instinct told him was not meant to be crossed. “I was just really interested in meeting you.” Continuing to observe the mares carefully, he waited until his submissive body language had successfully disarmed their wariness. Mastery of what were normally involuntary physical responses was just one of the many benefits that decades of training had granted the stallion as he reached out his hand. “My name’s Firestorm.”
Seeing the hand offered specifically to him, Thomas awkwardly reached out to shake it while keeping hold of Silver’s arm. He might not see everything, but he’d certainly felt the way both mares had tensed up, only to relax later. “Nice to meet you, Firestorm. My name’s Thomas.”
“Y-yes. I know.” Firestorm blushed as he gently shook Thomas’ hand, carefully measuring the mythic beast’s strength. “I read about you in the papers and,” he chuckled bashfully, “I just fell in love with your story.”
“My story?” Thomas furrowed his brow.
“Yes,” Firestorm said. His shy demeanor was the perfect cover to let his eyes roam over the human. While the makeup and costume were an obvious impediment, Firestorm pressed on as he took note of every flinch, facial twitch, and shift if posture that the human offered. The human’s face was far less expressive than a pony’s with his small eyes and immobile ears, but that just made it all the more important for the stallion to pay attention. “The story of how a foreigner, and a creature most ponies consider to be a myth, comes to Equestria only to be taken in by the Princesses.” He sighed romantically. “It’s like something out of a story book.”
“Y-yeah,” Thomas awkwardly agreed as he looked down at his still shaking hand.
“Oh!” Firestorm immediately pulled back his hand. “Sorry about that.”
“I’ve heard about humans being myths before, but I’ve never really heard what the myths were about,” Thomas said with glaring curiosity.
“Oh. Well…” Firestorm mumbled in embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his head. He kept his true glee at engaging the target in idle chatter well hidden. “That’s the thing. I’ve been doing a little research on the subject and, if I’m honest, most of what I’ve read has been either vague or blatantly contradictory.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Firestorm.” Silver interjected.
“Oh! How terribly rude of me to ignore such ravishing and gallant looking mares.” He gasped, addressing Silver and Moonlight respectively. “Ladies?” He bowed, grinning internally how his charms causing both mares to blush.
“Well, erm.” Silver coughed. “My name is Silver Bell, attendant to Princess Luna.”
“And I am Private Moonlight Shield of Princess Luna’s House Guard.” She nodded cordially. “I’m also Sir Thomas’ bodyguard,” she added with a proud twinkle in her eye.
“I see.” Firestorm nodded, not missing the subtle cues in their body language. Thomas was still difficult to read, but the mares were less complex. Even if Firestorm hadn’t been watching Thomas and his cohorts for the last few months, the signals these mares were giving off might as well have been put in neon lights for how obvious they were. “Well then, as his bodyguard, I imagine I have to go through you if I want to schedule a meeting with Mr. Thomas.” He paused. “That is how this works, isn’t it?”
“Wha’d’you need to meet for?” Thomas asked.
“You’re not a journalist are you?” Silver asked warningly. “Because if you are…”
“Oh goodness no.” Firestorm pressed his hand to his chest as he vehemently shook his head. “I’m not some bottom feeder looking for a good scoop.” Not entirely, anyway. “But I was hoping for an interview of sorts to discuss with Sir Thomas about human myths, such as their origins and how they compare to reality. I know a professor of mythology at Canterlot University and I think her class would flip if they got the chance to meet a real life human.”
Despite his charming attitude and appealing features, there was something about this stallion that rubbed Moonlight the wrong way. Even so, she’d vowed to back off and be supportive of Thomas making new friends and that’s exactly what she would do. “Well, Thomas? What do you think?”
“I’d have to discuss it with Princess Luna; make sure there’s room in the schedule and all that.”
It was a blatant avoidance tactic if the stallion had ever seen one. “I understand.” He removed a card from his pocket and handed it to the human. “This is my address. My family owns a little bookshop in Canterlot. If you’re ever in the mood to share the gift of knowledge, just write me. Or better yet, stop by. I’d be happy to treat you to coffee. I’ll bet somepony as sweet as you takes lots of sugar,” he tittered. While mostly intended to deflect suspicion, Firestorm couldn’t deny this feminine little male had a certain charm about him. While somepony he’d ever date, the stallion wouldn’t deny a little tryst now and then if it were offered.
“I guess.” Thomas sighed impassively. He’d been flirted with enough by mares and stallions so much this night that he’d more or less become numb to it. Hopefully I can stop feeling weird about it from now on. I mean, it’s not like there’s anything malicious going on. It’s just a little harmless flirting, right? “Heck. Everyone keeps saying I need to get out more, so this might be a great excuse. Thanks Firestorm.”
’Heck’? Is that a the human equivalent for ‘hay’? Firestorm thought. The context seemed to fit. “You are most welcome, Sir Thomas. But please, my friends all call me Storm.”
“Sure thing, Storm.” Thomas nodded with a grin.
They said their goodbyes and the stallion made his way back to the grand hall while the trio resumed their journey to the haunted house. As they chatted about mundane things, Silver and Moonlight exchanged wary looks. Both mares had gotten the same uneasy vibe about Firestorm. While their rivalry had not been completely forgotten, they both nodded in silent agreement to hold a truce to protect Thomas from the likes of Firestorm and any other outside threats.
The pair had no idea how right they were, for the moment Firestorm was out of sight he ducked behind a corner and pulled out his compact. After doing a little fiddling with a spell, he flipped the mirror open and confirmed that it had worked. He’d successfully applied the tracer spell when he shook Thomas’ hand. There was an unusual level of background noise interfering with the signal; something he’d have to look into later; but what mattered was that the tracer worked. Now, not only would he be able to track the human’s movements with greater accuracy, but his scrying mirror should have a back door around those annoying wards set up in places like the Princesses’ offices and bed chambers.
Finally they arrived at their destination. The training field had been completely renovated to resemble the Everfree Forest with eerie dead trees swaying to and fro even when there was no wind. In the middle of it all was a massive tent with little blips of light poking through in random patterns. The mares huddled close to Thomas. They weren’t scared, mind you. That’d be silly. They were the big tough mares, some more than others, and Thomas was the small and petite stallion. It was only common sense for a frightened stallion to fling himself into his mare’s arms for protection when scared. Silver certainly held no delusions on what she was hoping to happen on this trip, but Moonlight was still a little confused as to why she was holding to such a fantasy.
They followed a trail of floating red lights just in time to join the next group to be allowed in. The ponies ahead of them, a mix trick-or-treater groups, families, and groupings of young ponies who all looked to have similar plans to Silver and Moonlight, were all laughing in anticipation of what was to come. Silver and Moonlight agreed that they were better off trailing behind the main group for the privacy it’d grant them. Not to mention that the scares happening in front of them would no doubt add to the atmosphere and send Thomas scurrying into their arms. It was a well-crafted plan the mares had contrived, save for the minor flaw that both were holding so tightly to Thomas’ arms that he couldn’t scurry anywhere if he wanted to, but that was beside the point.
“Eep!” Silver squeaked as the branches of a nearby tree reached down and swung at her. The group had pulled away together, but when it was over Thomas and Moonlight were the first to start laughing. Silver did her best to compose herself and join in the laughter, but was disheartened by the mocking eyes of Moonlight. The unicorn had earned the first win of this round.
Then the singing started.
“When the crypt doors creek and the tomb stones quake. Spooks come out for a swinging wake.”
It was a deep baritone occasionally accompanied by a haunting aria that sent chills into everypony who heard it. The group ahead, once boldly claiming their fearlessness, had all huddled together in their respective groups as the trees sprung from their roots and danced to the rhythm. The only ponies to not have knees quaking in fear were the wide eyed foals and the human smiling in nostalgic fondness.
It was when Thomas started pulling the mares from side to side as he swayed to the beat that said mares realized another terrible oversight. Thomas had foreknowledge of what was to come. While the exact extent of his knowledge was unknown, the broad grin on his face showed he clearly lacked the fear of uncertainty present in the others. The mares’ plan had failed.
At least, that’s what Silver thought before Thomas started singing along. He was hardly a professional, but there was something about his voice that calmed her down immeasurably. While the same was true for Moonlight, it was Silver who had the most immediately relevant cutie mark. In no time she had joined in Thomas’ singing, calming down the adults and exciting the foals to try and sing along. When the song ended and the trees were left behind, the group resumed a more leisurely pace. The ponies ahead all looked back and offered their gratitude to the pair who had rekindled their courage.
Moonlight was torn. On the one hand she felt herself swell with pride in Thomas’ bravery and gratitude for sharing that bravery with her. On the other hand, Silver being the first to regain her cool while Moonlight cowered like a filly and then joining in the song meant that the little bat pony had earned a wide lead. Not about to let herself be overstepped by this little fanged shrimp, Moonlight hardened herself in preparation for the real test as they finally arrived at the mouth of the tent.
Inside the pitch black tarp, the group was greeted by ponies dressed as unfamiliar monsters in neon lights to help them be seen. These costumed ponies directed them to a white line where they would wait for their ride. Behind the white line a miniature train with open cars came to a screeching halt. While it was too dark to make out the details on the cars, what was more than apparent were the passengers shaking with fear.
As they waited, an announcer dressed as a vampony gave his rehearsed warning to the ‘victims to be’. Naturally his voice was exaggerated for that extra creepy factor as he explained that this was not a roller coaster, but just a simple train ride that would take them on a simple tour of the haunted house. Yet as they watched as the ponies before them were shaking like maracas as janitors made disgusted faces while cleaning up leavings best left unseen, the ‘victims to be’ couldn’t help but feel a little bit anxious.
“Come on, guys!” Thomas announced as he began pulling the mares forward. “We came all this way and I wanna see what Luna did with the place. Besides, I want the front seat so I don’t miss anything.”
Once more the human’s outburst had rekindled the courage of the ponies. For most, they were not about to let themselves look scared when such a young colt had shown such daring. For two others, it was a challenge to their dignity as mares that they could not leave unanswered. Silver and Moonlight sat to either side of Thomas in the first car. There was more than enough room as other groups divided themselves as they saw fit. The mares finally released their hold of the human’s arms to allow all to grip the bar meant to secure. With one last click, the announcer bid them a fond farewell as Silver and Moonlight braced themselves for the worst and vowed not to make complete fools of themselves.
One reenactment of the opening to The Nightmare Before Christmas later…
It was only by sheer stroke of luck that Thomas had managed to lean forward in time to avoid being crushed as the mares clung together in fear. They’d managed to get through the tomb stone shadows, ghosts, and the first few monsters well enough, but it was when the vamponies emerged from the furniture that things started to get bad. The screams never ceased as each new ghastly creature brought on a new wave of fear. Thomas feared that he’d have to spend the remainder of the ride leaning forward, but found the quivering mares so solidly gripped together actually made for a half decent vibrating chair. The human regularly found himself torn between the remarkable sets, stunning makeup on the costumes, and the reaction the mares had to it all.
When it was all over, Thomas, along with the foals, had to call for assistance in order to extract many of the grownups from the ride. Moonlight and Silver were at least able to lift themselves up despite still clinging to one another. Afterward they were directed down the hall to a moderately lit room where the walls were painted with fluffy clouds, smiling sunflowers, and other images one normally found at a kindergarten or pediatrician’s office as the sound of chirping birds and laughing children was played over the speakers. Thomas lead the way for his friends to sit at one of the nearby benches as one of the ride staff, a pony not wearing a costume, said that the next batch of hot cocoa would be ready in just a couple minutes.
“Jesus, they thought of everything,” Thomas mumbled as he examined the room. Some ponies had looked downright traumatized, but quickly seemed to be relaxing thanks to the tender care of the ride staff and their loved ones. The adults had been affected the worst as it was up to the foals to try and give comfort to their parents, older siblings, adult friends, and quite possibly even strangers. Still, some adults had taken it better than others and looked ready to move on after less than a minute. Either way, Thomas was certain that Luna would have her work cut out for her for the next few nights of dream walking.
Good friend that he was, Thomas moved behind the still conjoined mares and pressed his chest against their combined sides as he rubbed their shoulders. For some reason, Silver had spread her wings and engulfed the unicorn in their grip. The sides of their faces were pressed together and he could hear their raspy whimpering. “There, there, you two,” he whispered softly. “Everything’s gonna be alright.”
It was hard not to smile as Thomas listened to their breathing even out as their muscles relaxed against his touch. As much as he didn’t like to see his friends so shaken, what guy didn’t fantasize about having a girl leap into his arms in a moment of fear? It was a sign of trust that, at least subconsciously, the girl regarded the guy as a source of safety and comfort. And if they were dating, well that was a ripe opportunity to… wait…
Thomas’ train of thought derailed as he peered up from his position to spy a very familiar mare off in the distance. If he didn’t know better, he’d have sworn he saw Sun Dancer, dressed as a timber wolf, huddled close with Red Amber, dressed as a sea pony, as they shared a cup of cocoa. The mare had apparently felt his gaze upon her as she shot up and fixed the human with an icy stare and silently mouthed ‘You. Saw. Nothing.’ With no reason to argue, Thomas maneuvered himself around the mares so as to be in front of them, that way there was no chance of him accidentally looking back at the thing that absolutely was not there.
The bat pony and unicorn had apparently recovered enough to recognize the brief absence of the human’s touch. For when they felt it again, the pair had opened up like a giant clam of doom and promptly yanked him inside. While his initial response was to struggle against the sudden pressure and loss of light, Thomas found that he was not being held in a death grip. It was tight, but not enough to hurt. And with the combined warmth of the two mares mixed with their sighs of relief, Thomas couldn’t help but relax into their grasp as he found a comfortable sitting position on someone’s knee. Even the way the two mares smelled seemed nice.
No words were spoken, but plenty was said. The mares, Moonlight and Silver, had inadvertently sought comfort in each other’s arms in a time of peril. What’s more, they found that comfort offered freely as little rubs of their hands and cheeks did not go unnoticed or unappreciated. And when the human stallion had pulled them close and whispered his assurances, something just clicked. Regardless of the reversal of their traditional roles, there was a rightness to this moment that neither mare could deny. The rivalry between the two seemed less than irrelevant now. And while no moment lasts forever, for now at least, the mare pair were happy simply being with their human stallion and each other.
It was getting late and it was nearly time for the day foals to return home for the evening. That meant there was just one last stop for them to make. Out in the gardens, just past the maze, a statue of Nightmare Moon crouching like a beast ready to lunge had been erected. Supposedly Luna had donned her old armor in order to pose for the sculptor and make sure the statue looked especially authentic and frightening. But that was just a rumor as everypony knew the Princesses were above such things. None the less, all the foals had been lead out to the statue while their guardians hung back to keep watch as the little ones made their traditional offering of candy.
Mustering up their courage, the little ones ventured forth into the open where predators could easily catch them. It was easy to spot the elder siblings and more playful parents for they shamelessly stoked these instinctual fears in their charges. Thankfully, the bravest of foals managed to keep the others from falling back as they lead the way.
From the shadows, an unseen figure’s giddy anticipation had been tampered with stoic respect for the brave foals in the lead. It was a private game she’d played with herself whenever she saw such commendable courage in those so young. She’d bet with herself that such foals would hold onto those commendable qualities and go on to do great things in life. If they did, she’d reward herself with a cookie. As such a long lived being, she had the patience to wait for these bets to yield results, leading to the merciless slaughter of countless pastries in the past. Yet now was the chance for her to look forward to a new future as a new generation of ponies rewarded her faith in their abilities with all new batches of delicious treats. She had to catch up with her sister somehow, after all.
The bravest of the foals arrived at the base of the statue first, many holding the hands of their friends and siblings. Reaching into their bags, they extracted a handful of their hard earned hoard and dropped it casually into a pile. They then stepped aside for the foals behind them to do the same and the process continued.
The last filly, pink and dressed as Celestia, looked less than thrilled at having to give her offering. Unlike those before her, she carefully searched her bag only for those candies she knew she wouldn’t be eating later. Gripping the handful of loser candy, the little filly looked up at the grinning statue of the legendary peril. Angry at the hunk of stone for even looking at her with such creepy eyes, the filly threw her handful up into the statue’s snout.
“Ow.”
The filly and other foals froze in horror as they watched the statue roll around her snout where the candy had struck. Her cover blown, Luna decided to just roll with it.
“YOU DARE!?” Nightmare Moon straightened herself up as she boomed in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “YOU DARE OFFER ME, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE MOON, THIS TRIFLE PITTANCE,” she gestured to the pile, “AND CALL IT AN OFFERING?”
The foals’ guardians had planned to look on with only mock terror. They’d been briefed beforehand on what the Princess had planned. But this was a little too real.
“FOR THIS TREACHEROUS TRANSGRESSION, WE SHALL INSTEAD DEVOUR…” She bore her razor teeth and lowered her head in preparation to pounce. “YOOOOOOOOU!” On cue, a nearby pegasus night guard delivered a roundhouse kick into a thunder cloud, lighting up the sky behind his dark specter of a Princess. “MWAHAHAHAHA!”
The gardens came alive with activity as foals scattered and adults raced to catch them. It was like farmers trying to catch a greased up pig, only not as coordinated. Things became especially irksome when non-flying adults found themselves chasing after pegasi foals who, upon realizing how high they were, were so impressed that they forgot to look where they were going and began colliding into things. Things were no better on the non-flying front as little unicorns blindly levitate random objects at anything they perceived as a threat while a few of the earth foals took to digging tunnels deep underground. The role of Nightmare Moon required her to laugh maniacally, but in truth Luna was so tickled that she was rolling on her sides and very nearly fell off of her perch.
When all was said and done, the adults had gathered the foals back in front of the statue where Luna, now sitting on a throne of candy and still in her Nightmare Moon persona, was able to assess the damage. Several dozen bruises, no broken bones, a mountain of injured pride, and two new cutie marks. Luna beamed with delight as she could not have been more pleased with the results.
“Excellent!” Nightmare Moon declared with an uproarious laughter. “This display has pleased your beloved and gorgeous Mistress of the Night. As such, she will not be devouring any little ponies this year.” There was a round of relieved sighs from her audience. “Unless anypony wishes to volunteer?” She smacked her lips for emphasis.
“Well, if you’re offering…” A light purple mare in her early twenties spoke up, only to have her ear yanked by another mare who could be her twin. “Never mind,” she grumbled disparagingly.
At the coaxing of the adults, the foals unanimously declared their thanks to the Princess of the Night for arranging such a fantastic holiday. Luna graciously thanked them and wished all a happy Nightmare Night before they departed. Left alone with her respectable pile of tooth rot, Luna gazed down at the small treasure trove offered up by such happy foals and let out a contented sigh. She then stood from her throne, lit her horn to change from her Nightmare armor back into her bunny suit, and readied herself to return to the real party, at least until she got to do this all over again in the morning.
**********
Talon had had to take an energy drink and walk extra slowly just to keep from wobbling like a drunk as she departed Luna’s chambers. The alicorn had left a while ago with a spring in her step to attend to the candy offering. “Guess the ol’ gal was more nervous than I thought,” she muttered to herself, having second thoughts about taking on this task by herself. Her appetite’s growing, she thought with dread. Might want to hurry up with sweet wing’s induction.
In a few minutes the griffon was right as rain and set about the task of finding her companions. She spotted them moving up ahead, but stopped herself from calling out to them. Using her keen eagle eyes, she saw that the mares were no longer jealously clinging to the human. They were still close enough to rub elbows as he walked between them, but all three were walking at a much more casual pace. Besides the occasional tail brush of the human’s lower legs, the real kicker for the griffon was when she saw Silver stretch her wings out and brush across both Thomas’ and Moonlight’s backs.
Hot damn! Talon cheered. With or without feathers, wings were naturally sensitive. She’d gone over as much with Thomas. But what Talon had neglected to mention was how wing touches, like what Silver had just done, were used as signs of affection, be they platonic or otherwise. Instead of joining in, Talon decided to hang back for now and continue to observe to make sure things were as they seemed.
Ignorant of the griffon’s presence behind them, the man and mares were not so ignorant of how the atmosphere around them had changed. Silver sighed in relief at the absence of hostility from both herself and the other mare. She also grinned at how neither of them flinched away when she’d touched her wing to their backs, implicitly accepting the show of affection.
Thomas was glad to be able to move around with his arms free again. He’d never been one for comfortable silences, but the one that pervaded now just seemed right somehow.
At the same time, Moonlight was coming to terms with just how foolishly she’d been acting all night. Between her overreaction to Pineapple and her petty competition with Silver, she’d been acting like a spoiled brat. But after the haunted house, she couldn’t for the life of her understand why the latter had happened in the first place. Something told her it had something to do with Silver, but she was at a loss to say exactly what.
“Moonlight!”
The mares and man looked up to see an incoming bat mare dressed as a devil. She had red horns and short socks, a black cape, and red detail along the rim of her wings. She carried a red pitchfork and wore a shiny black bikini top and bottoms.
“Grace!” Moonlight waved her over and the other mare took flight. When she landed, the unicorn and new bat pony embraced and Moonlight moved aside to give a clear view. “Everypony, this is my friend and fellow House Guard Blade Grace. Grace. This is Sir Thomas and Lady Silver Bell.”
“A pleasure to meet the both of you.” Grace curtsied before fixing Silver with a grin.
“House Guard, you say?” Silver asked as she stepped forward, leaving Thomas alone, and took her fellow bat pony’s hands in her own. “It’s such an honor to meet a fellow night foal working to protect our Princess.”
“The honor is mine, good lady.” Grace tilted her head forward in a soft bow. “For you provide such a reverent service to her.”
“Not at all, Sir Knight,” Silver said with blushing pride. “I am still only on probationary service. The true honor,” she stepped aside and gestured to the human, “goes to Sir Thomas, my senior, eh, officer.”
Officer, am I? Is that how harem’s are ranked? Thomas thought as he softly bowed as he’d seen them do. “Nice to meet you too. How are you enjoying the party, so far?”
“I’ve heard many ponies saying that this is the best Masquerade ever, and I’m inclined to agree,” Grace said happily as her eyes roamed appraisingly across Thomas’ body. “The decorations are grand, the food is scrumptious, and the foals were absolutely ecstatic when I saw them leave.”
“Naturally,” Silver bragged. “Despite its… unfavorable origins,” her ears briefly drooped, “who else could make Nightmare Night better than the illustrious-”
“Princess Luna!” Grace chimed in, speaking in unison with Silver and leading to both mares to giggle at what they’d done.
Moonlight had moved back to Thomas’ side where she noticed him leaning up to whisper something.
“Fast friends, those two,” he whispered.
Moonlight was fairly certain that Thomas wasn’t being quiet enough to avoid the bat ponies’ notice, but they seemed to be doing a good job of pretending to not hear. “Bat ponies have a universal love for Princess Luna,” she informed. “It’s always been a strong core for their relationships.”
“So…” Thomas inclined. “An entire race of fan-girls?”
Moonlight smirked as she caught sight of Silver and Grace’s ears flicking their way. “Oversimplified, but yes.”
**********
Luna had been indulging in her party guests for nearly half an hour before she caught sight of something to distract from the monotony of it all. “Sister,” she called to the brown garbed alicorn who stood above the rest.
“Sister,” Celestia returned the greeting with a forced grin as they closed the distance between them. Her breasts bounced with each step, showing that her skin-tight cat suit provided no real support for the top-heavy white alicorn. “How goes your first Nightmare Night Masquerade?”
“It goes splendidly!” Luna declared stridently, not caring of who was bothered by her volume. Despite the vibrations of her voice, the clever craftsmanship of her suit ensured that her own breasts managed to stay firm and still. “The foals were an absolute delight and I have been hearing wonderful things from the haunted house.”
“Wonderful, you say?” Celestia asked skeptically. “Sun Dancer seemed to think you could have toned down on the fright factor.”
“Oh?” Luna raised a brow in concern. “Did she not enjoy the ride, then?”
Celestia averted her eyes as a smirk took her lips. “Red Amber said he first met her on her third trip.”
The alicorn sisters shared a giggle as the surrounding guests shouted their approval of the haunted house, which was now being dubbed as Halloween. Many praised Luna for her creativity, both in the ride and for her costume. Others expressed concern that the ride was not appropriate for the foals being let on, despite the arguments that the young ones were enjoying it most of all.
“I have been hearing similar tales, sister,” Luna said, ignoring the cacophony of conversations around her. “And it raises the quandary of why adults seem to be so much more affected than the foals.”
“I am unsure.” Celestia extended her elbow, which Luna took as the pair gracefully walked across the room, basking in the praise of their guests. “Foals have always been more open minded than their elders. Perhaps this is a matter that bears further examination.” The Princess of the Sun giggled as Luna was hit with another wave of compliments to her creativity. Celestia gave her sister a wry look that seemed to ask ‘so when are you going to tell them?’
“All things in good time, sister,” Luna replied, nodding to her guests. A sizable crowd had grown in the last couple minutes. No doubt in response to word of the presence of both Princesses. “For now, let us all enjoy the party.”
Celestia darted forward and stole a quick playful lick of her sister’s cheek, causing Luna to blush and sending a wave of murmurs across the crowd. Luna retaliated with a swift snap of her tail against her sister’s costumed bottom, causing it to jiggle much more than it normally would. The alicorns shared a wry grin and silently vowed to postpone their game until later. For now, they decided to split and attend to their guests.
**********
By the time Thomas and company, now with Blade Grace, had returned to the Masquerade, the grand hall was nearly full to bursting with costumed ponies. The lights had brightened a bit and taken a more violet sheen to let all know that the Masquerade had officially begun.
Thomas had to wonder at just how much he resembled a pimp with how he had Silver to one side and Moonlight and Grace on the other. While initially worried about being mobbed by stuck up ponies clamoring for favors, Thomas was relieved to find that, for whatever reason, he and his friends had been rendered largely invisible to the other guests. Other off-duty guards noticed Grace and Moonlight and a handful of nobles came up to greet Silver, but no one seemed to recognize Thomas unless either of his companions expressly pointed him out to them. But this suited the human just fine as it afforded him more time to spend with the ponies he actually cared about.
“I had managed to board the haunted house at the very beginning,” Grace bragged. “I must say, they prepared us for a lot of things in the guard, but I never expected to see anything like that.”
“Did you go with anypony?” Moonlight asked, affectionately pressing her side against the gray mare.
“Lavender Crush, actually.” Grace tittered. “I swear I never heard a stallion scream like that before.” Her laughter was joined by the others.
“What was the scariest part for you?” Silver asked. “For me it was the vamponies coming out of the furniture.” She shivered. “I don’t think I’m going to look at Quills and Sofas the same way again.”
Another round of nervous laughs before Moonlight answered. “It was the thing right after, that guy shaped like a cone.”
“I did not care for the clown, or that little round foal looking thing without eyes.” Grace declared. “Psht. ‘We’re not mean’ my flank,” she scoffed at the lyric.
All eyes fell on Thomas for his contribution. “I don’t know about scared, but I really didn’t expect them to use actual fire on the pumpkin scarecrow.”
“What do you mean you didn’t expect?” Grace asked.
“That’s right.” Moonlight recalled and set her hand on Thomas’ back. “Our good Sir Thomas knew about the haunted house ahead of time and saw fit not to warn any of us.”
The mare’s warning tone was made clear, but Thomas only gave an apologetic smile. “Sorry, but I really didn’t think that stuff would be so scary to you guys.”
“Not scary?” The mares asked in unison, only to turn away in embarrassment at admitting such a weakness in front of a stallion.
“Well, yeah,” Thomas shrugged. “Moonlight. Remember when you asked where this costume came from?” He gestured to himself. “Well that was it. That’s the movie I loved as a kid.”
At the confused expressions on both bat mares, Moonlight leaned in and answered “human term for foals.” And they nodded in acceptance.
“So you actually show things like that to your foals?” Silver asked in concern.
“That’s not even the worst of it,” Thomas chuckled as he recalled a few of his other childhood favorites. “Standards have gotten a lot stricter in recent years, but ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’, what the ride is based on, its actually pretty tame compared to the other stuff.”
Moonlight felt an odd twinge of pain in her chest at Thomas’ explanation. It was like hearing a friend confess some terrible trauma they’d suffered, but Thomas looked like he couldn’t be more thrilled about it all. Maybe human culture does a better job of preparing their foals for such things? Moonlight wondered. Or maybe Thomas doesn’t think such things are scary because human minds are different? This led to a new level of pain at the prospect that there were some aspects of her human friend that, perhaps, were simply unknowable.
“What’s kris-mass?” Silver asked, breaking Moonlight of her revelry.
“Christmas is…” Thomas trailed off as he considered. “It’s a lot like Hearth’s Warming. Similar to how Nightmare Night is like the human holiday Halloween,” he explained, gesturing to a column decorated with cobwebs and cutouts of bats and ghosts.
“Don’t you think it’s rather odd how there are so many similarities between our cultures?” Moonlight asked. “Reversing sex roles is one thing. That’s just biology, I think. But to have holidays so similar is just so… so… peculiar?” She asked, checking if they agreed with her word choice. They did.
“Agreed,” Thomas nodded as he folded his arms. The show made pony holidays similar to human ones to make the story relatable, but there’s really no explanation for similarities across universes.
“Maybe there’s been contact between countries before?” Silver suggested. “That’s what Firestorm seemed to be implying.”
“Even so,” Thomas said skeptically. “Our version of these holidays only came about in the last half century or so. And from the sound of it your holidays have looked like this for millennia.” He paused until his unasked question was met with a round of nods. “So how would that work?”
“Maybe a pony went to the human country?” Grace offered.
“Doubtful,” Thomas dismissed. “And even if one did, I just don’t see them going around and changing a couple holidays, which, for a time were actually banned.”
Before the conversation could go any further, Talon had rejoined them only to wave Moonlight over. Dismissing herself, the mare joined the griffon off at the outskirts of the party where they soon found themselves in the shadow of the third and often neglected Princess. “Hello there,” Cadence greeted warmly. The Princess was dressed as Starswirl the Bearded, which bore a striking resemblance to Yen Sid from Disney’s ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’. “How’s my favorite griffon enjoying Nightmare Night?”
“Not bad.” Talon nodded graciously. “And you?”
“Oh, you know.” Cadence shrugged. “Just trying to get by and have a little fun before captain buzzkill finds-” She cut off as a panting white stallion dressed as a witch approached from behind. “And right on cue. Good job, sweetie,” she congratulated sardonically.
“Don’t listen to a word she,” *pant* “says,” Shining gasped. “I’ve been chasing her around all night trying to keep her from making a scene.”
“A scene!?” Cadence gasped in shock. “When did you stop me from-”
“You tried to steal Princess Luna’s candy offering,” the stallion snapped back as all eyes turned in disbelief onto the pink Princess.
“Besides that,” she crossed her arms and huffed indignantly.
Shining’s witch hat levitated up as he extracted a moderately sized scroll which he unfurled before his audience. “Twenty six confirmed attempts to steal candy from foals; emphasis on the ‘confirmed’ part because you managed to evade me more than once,” he began with cold accusation.
“Shinyyyy!” Cadence bubbled, her attitude doing a one eighty as she draped herself over his shoulders before he could continue with his list. “Oh, silly me. Have I been neglecting my big, strong coltfriend all night? Won’t you pwease forgive your wittle Cady-wady?” She asked in baby talk.
Shining Armor stared between the mare who would be his wife, the scroll listing her numerous crimes, the members of Luna’s harem and House Guard, and then back to Cadence. After much deliberation, he decided to place the scroll back in his hat before turning to the taller mare. “So long as the list doesn’t keep growing, I might, might be willing to withhold it from the other Princesses,” he said warningly.
“Oh Shiny. I love you!” Cadence exclaimed as she seized his lips against hers in an impassioned kiss. “Now why don’t you go fetch us something to eat? I actually wanted to talk to these guys a minute.”
Shining gave a defeated sigh before meeting Cadence’s eyes. “I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”
“I know,” Cadence whispered as she shook her rump at him, giggling at how she’d successfully distracted him for a couple seconds. When he was gone, Cadence turned to face the smaller unicorn with a mischievous grin. “Now that the stallions are away, I think it’s time the two of us have a little mare talk.”
“Okay?” Moonlight gulped questioningly, the seriousness of the Princess’ words making her anxious.
After dismissing Talon back to her own devices, Cadence leaned in close and lit her horn as both of their heads were briefly engulfed in her purple aura. “High precision sound shield,” Cadence said. “Only we can hear what we say.”
“… Okay?” Moonlight’s anxiety was growing by the second. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Moonlight Shield,” Cadence began. “Who am I?”
“Pardon?”
“Who. Am. I?”
“P-Princess Cadence?” Moonlight answered warily.
“Good,” Cadence nodded. “What am I Princess of?”
“Love?”
“That’s right.” Cadence grinned as she nodded again. “So what do you think we’re here to talk about?”
Moonlight skeptically narrowed her eyes on the Princess. “I assume you’re trying to set me up with somepony?” Moonlight asked, receiving a wry grin from the pink Princess.
“You don’t look very happy about that,” Cadence observed with a soft giggle.
“I’m not!” Moonlight protested. “I mean… Not that I’m not grateful or anything, and I’ve been hearing nothing but good things about what you’ve done.” Moonlight had heard the stories. For the last couple decades the Princess of Love had been earning her title by playing matchmaker with countless ponies. She’d even opened up her own dating service where she interviewed numerous ponies seeking love and managed to find matches with a nearly 100% success rate. Even so… “I’m just not really looking for that right now.”
“That’s actually the problem,” Cadence asserted. “You’re so focused on not looking that it’s a miracle you haven’t walked out in front of a speeding carriage yet.”
“Princess?”
“Sorry.” Cadence shrugged her shoulders. “It’s just a little pet peeve of mine. It bothers me how many of my clients come to me looking for their very special somepony when half the time they’ve already met each other!” She said with an exasperated sigh. “And that’s what’s been bothering me. I’ve been trying to keep my ‘big pink nose out of it and stop meddling’,” she said in a mocking impersonation of Shining Armor, “but this is really getting on my nerves and it just needs to stop.”
“I still don’t follow, Your Highness.”
Cadence gave another sigh. “Look. I’ve been watching you for some time; not stalking or anything, but I have noticed a few things. For one, thanks to my magic allowing me to see the bonds that ponies feel for one another, I’m guessing you have a preference for stallions on the smaller side; those who could use a little extra protection and probably have a more feminine appearance. Am I right?”
Moonlight blinked in shock as her ears had fully faced Cadence, letting the Princess know she had her full attention. “H-how did … Wait.” Moonlight held up her hand as she processed what she’d heard. “You said you can only see bonds. How does that translate to preferences?”
Cadence nonchalantly turned from the unicorn to examine the surrounding guests, grateful that they knew better than to interrupt. “I can also see the nature of the bonds. They’re like little threads connecting us all, you see, and I’m able to discern the details of each thread and understand ponies’ relationships in ways even they can’t. For example, if I were to close my eyes,” she did, “I could tell you which ponies cared for each other as friends, siblings, parent to child, lovers, and even the thinnest of threads indicating ponies are feeling the initial stages of attraction but just don’t know how to approach one another.” She opened her eyes and looked down at Moonlight, speaking with an air of masterful authority. “That’s what I see when I look at you.”
Moonlight gulped nervously. It’d been a while since she’d been interrogated twice in one night. “So…” she hesitated, trying to understand what was being told to her. “You think I’m having trouble approaching somepony?”
Cadence nodded.
“What about the preferences?”
“Oh that.” Cadence giggled. “That’s got nothing to do with my magic. I just made an educated guess with the data I have. Seems I had the right idea.”
“Uh huh.” Moonlight nodded, not liking the way she was being examined like some lab rat. “And what data told you I like those kinds of stallions?”
“Mostly I just read your body heat whenever Thomas was around.” Cadence smiled slyly at the dumbstruck unicorn. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed a little tingle in your belly each time he says something nice to you.”
The cool air felt uncomfortable to Moonlight’s suddenly dry mouth as she attempted to moisten it. “I, uh… that’s…”
“That’s probably why you became a guard instead of a linguist, right?” Cadence teased. “But that doesn’t change the fact that a certain guard holds certain feelings for a certain charge.”
“I… Princess. What you propose is highly inappropriate.”
“In what way?”
“In wha…” Moonlight was flabbergasted by the Princess’ utter disregard for protocol. “I’m his bodyguard! To do… what you propose would be blatant fraternization and a breach of protocol.”
“Shiny seems to have gotten by just fine without much fuss,” Cadence rebuked casually.
“That’s not… He’s not your-”
“And, while things might not have worked well for Blade Grace, Quick Strike and Sturdy Spear recently sent me a letter thanking me for all my help.” The Princess beamed proudly as she set a hand on the other mare’s shoulder. “The life of a guard demands discretion and discipline, not celibacy,” she emphasized. “I know what protocol says, which considering who I’m courting shouldn’t be a surprise. However, if the rules were interpreted as strictly as you seem to think, then the barracks would be all but vacant.” She released her grip.
“P-Princess?”
“Just a hunch, but I’m guessing you’ve been rationalizing to yourself why you shouldn’t feel this way. As Princess of Love, I’m here to tell you that you are a very very very stupid mare.” Cadence grinned at the unicorn’s surprise. “I’m not saying to put emotions over logic. What you need to do is find a balance between the two. If ponies picked one or the other to the extreme, we’d either be a race of soulless blank flanks or whimpering snowflakes who couldn’t pick up a hammer.” She watched as her audience of one nodded absentmindedly, no doubt recalling similar speeches she’d heard in school.
“Moonlight Shield. Let’s pretend for a moment that you weren’t Thomas’ body guard. How would you describe him to me?” At the unicorn’s hesitation, the alicorn offered her most assuring smile. “Please. I’m not here to judge, only to inform.”
“Erm, well…” Moonlight coughed, finding her throat very dry. “He’s, well, nice.”
“Nice? In what way?”
“He’s… He’s got a nice sense of humor.” Moonlight grinned. “He’s normally really quiet, but that just makes him a good listener. When we’re alone he really starts to open up and I just love talking with him.” Did I just say that out loud? she asked herself. Although she was unaware, Cadence’s innate magic was bringing her feelings to the forefront, making the rest of the world seem to melt away before the rightness of her words. “He’s really cute and I really like being around him. Heh. I guess it’s like Tali said about the primal need to protect.”
“No argument here,” Cadence cheered softly, deciding not to go into detail about how she could relate with some of the activities she engaged in when she and her Shiny were alone. “But what about Silver?” Cadence asked, noting the way the mare tensed. “How does she fit into all this?”
Moonlight blushed as her ears drooped. The more she thought about it, the more it all made sense. “I think… I think I was a little jealous of her.”
Cadence reached down and took Moonlights hand, gently stroking it as she nodded in approval. “That’s a very brave thing to admit,” she assured. “But I’m actually curious why you’d have those feelings in the first place, especially in light of how things went with him and Talon.”
“I… don’t really know,” Moonlight confessed, shuffling her hooves in embarrassment. “I was fine with Tali, but Silver… She’s basically been raised to be a concubine since she was born and she’s really good at it. It’s like she always knows just what to say, even when she’s nervous or uncertain.”
“I think that’s only because you’ve primarily seen her in public,” Cadence offered, but Moonlight didn’t seem to be paying attention.
“She’s also really pretty,” Moonlight continued. “Her fur’s a really nice color and she’s got a nice petite figure. Then there’s that lovely singing voice, not to mention-”
“I think I understand,” Cadence cut in with a soft titter. Another theory regarding Moonlight’s preferences was confirmed, but that would have to wait until the current issue was resolved. Ponies might be herd animals, but it was still generally best to take relationships one at a time, no matter how much the world schemed to do otherwise. “She’s a fine mare and you didn’t feel that you quite measured up. Again this is something I have to deal with a lot with my clients. Frankly it never fails to astound me how easily these ponies get so wrapped up in their uncertainty that they forget that there’s room enough in a pony’s heart to hold love for so many.”
“Maybe,” Moonlight said with cautious optimism. “But that’s ponies. What about humans, and does he,” she blushed, “feel the same?”
Cadence’s smile shrunk considerably, but did not fade. “His features are difficult to read. Additionally, his thread is… All species have different patterns to their threads and Thomas’ thread is still alien to me. However,” she perked up, “you are not to take that as a discouragement. Being around him so much, you more than most know what he is like. So tell me, does he seem comfortable in your company?”
“I… well… yes,” Moonlight eventually admitted.
“As good a start as any.” Cadence’s smile returned in full force as she cupped a hand to the unicorn’s cheek. “Nothing worth having in life ever comes easy,” she said with maternal softness. “Follow your heart, Moonlight Shield. Trust that it knows the way.”
“I…” Moonlight faltered as she took in the love and warmth radiating from the alicorn. “I will.”
“So her mane really doesn’t flow and wave all the time?” Grace asked eagerly.
“Not at all,” Silver said with a hint of pride in her knowledge. “It’s merely an enchantment meant to add to their appearance, like the crown or other regalia, I think.”
“So…” Grace shuffled her hooves. “What’s her mane like naturally?”
Thomas watched the bat ponies with mild amusement. Grace had been pumping Silver for information on Luna ever since Moonlight had been called away and the Prench mare was all too happy to lord her knowledge over her taller counterpart. That is until Talon came up and elbowed the attendant in the arm before glancing over at the human.
Eyes briefly widening in realization, Silver quickly closed the distance with her companion. “How terribly rude of me. Grace. Surely Sir Thomas would be better able to answer your questions than I.”
“I, uh…” Thomas mumbled as Grace slowly approached. There was nothing imposing or otherwise undesirable about the new mare’s demeanor, yet Thomas found himself struggling to think of anything to say. His hesitation was not lost on his audience.
“Honestly I’m a little embarrassed we didn’t recognize your costume earlier,” Silver said. “And with how many ponies who have been on Halloween already, it’s surprising more haven’t caught on.”
“I’ve been wondering about that too,” Grace added. “If it’s not too presumptuous?” She directed her question at Thomas who gave a shrug in response. “I would have thought the party guests would be paying you at least as much attention as the other attendants.” She gestured off into the crowd where a pair of Celestia’s concubines were chatting away with several guests.
“Guess the costume shields me from their radar,” Thomas said with a halfhearted smile. “It’s actually kinda nice to just blend into a crowd again.”
Silver was grateful to have gotten Thomas talking again, but that almost immediately turned into a pit in her stomach at where the conversation was going. “Thomas.” Action was called for and she wrapped a wing around his back, sending waves of tingles through her fleshy membrane. “I’ll understand if you dismiss what I have to say, but please hear me out first.”
Eyeing the mare skeptically, Thomas nodded for her to speak.
“All my life I grew up in Prance. I grew up with the same landmarks, faces, and customs night in and night out. Coming here, to a new city without any of my old comforts… It’s been a challenge. I realize that probably doesn’t compare to your situation, but I want you to know that if you’re ever feeling lonely, you can talk to somepony who at least partially understands.”
Thomas reached across his shoulder and gently grabbed at the rim of Silver’s wing, noting the way it briefly flinched at his touch only to quickly relax. “Thanks,” he grinned warmly. “And the same goes for you.”
“P-pardon?”
“I know that it’s normal to feel lonely and lost from time to time.” Thomas admitted. “But I’ve got a lot of friends who help me through it. And… I’d like it if you could count me as a friend to help you through the hard patches too.”
Silver’s cheeks took on a deep shade of pink as she stared into the human’s green eyes.
“Plus, if you want to do more comparing, bat ponies are a minority so that’s kinda another thing we have in common.”
“I’d…” Silver coughed as she retracted her wing from its tingly perch. “I’d say you’ve got me beat on that one, being the only one of your kind in all the land.”
“Then again, I sleep with the Princess,” Thomas said evenly as he glanced between the bat mares. “I’m fairly certain your overwhelming jealousy counts as a point for you.”
“How does that work?” Grace asked, ignoring Silver’s flushed face as well as her own. “I mean, isn’t that a point in your favor.”
“No. We’re scoring based on who has the sadder life,” Thomas corrected, finally speaking directly to Grace. “Her wanting a thing I have is a point for her.”
“Thing?” Silver gasped. “Are you referring to the Princess as a-”
“He means access to her fun parts,” Talon chimed in. “And since I’ve been with two of three alicorns, I guess that means I come in last place.” She dramatically pressed the back of her wrist to her forehead. “Oh, woe is me. How ever will I go on?”
“Probably with a self-satisfied smirk,” Thomas deadpanned.
“Yeah.” Talon nodded. “Sounds like something I’d do.”
**********
“Pumpkin king,” a unicorn mare dressed as a spider scoffed as she glanced over at Thomas. “Who does he think he is, dressing as a king?”
“Seeing as how his costume originates from Halloween, I’d say it was Princess Luna who dressed him,” Blueblood put forward and he swirled his glass of wine. “It’s more like dressing up a pet than anything else.”
“So you really don’t think he’s being presumptuous?” The mare asked, though her expression betrayed how she didn’t entirely oppose his suggestion.
“You clearly haven’t been paying attention.” Blueblood smirked as he took a sip. “The colt has little spine to speak of and until recently he followed Luna around like a trained dog. That analogy is unfortunately accurate as about the only thing to make him stand up and hold his head high is in protection of his mistress.” He sighed in disappointment. “I’m afraid, my dear Daisy, that he’ll be practically useless for your objectives.”
“You mean our objectives,” Daisy corrected. “Need I remind you of your considerable investment in our little venture?”
“Certainly not. I only wish to dissuade you from a venture that is certain to fail.” Blueblood assured. “Besides, even if you did have a plan, which I’m guessing you don’t, I imagine you’d find it next to impossible to even broach the subject with those mares and that uncouth griffon always following him around.”
“Oh, my dear Prince Blueblood,” Daisy cooed. “I do believe you’re underestimating me again.”
“Do I, now?” Blueblood raised his brow in intrigue. “In what way?”
“Let’s just say a little birdy told me that a certain buck-toy might have gotten his position through… Let’s say less than honest means.” She grinned conspiratorially. “If such rumors were true, and certain someponies could offer evidence…”
“Certain ponies in authority might be grateful enough to hand out a few favors.” Blueblood finished. “A bold plan, but that still leaves the issue of his little makeshift herd.”
“Oh ho,” Daisy laughed. “You just leave that to me.”
**********
The lights suddenly dimmed as a single spotlight fell on the top of the stairs to reveal Equestria’s royalty. All three alicorns stood proudly with all the dignity their respective costumes afforded, arranged from tallest to shortest. The audience went quiet as they eagerly awaited the royal announcement. The Princesses exchanged looks of confident satisfaction before nodding to the designated speaker.
“Citizens of Equestria,” Luna announced. “As the midnight hour approaches, it fills my heart with such warmth to see such joy and laughter from this year’s Nightmare Night Masquerade.” She paused as the crowd showered her with praise, though her eyes focused on a single black speck in the sea of faces as her human gave an assuring nod. Luna followed up with further expressions of gratitude to the various parties who came together to make this event possible.
Paying only mild attention to the speech, Moonlight weaved her way between the crowd and quickly rejoined the group, only to stop as a paper plane crashed into her forehead. Unable to determine the trajectory as she scanned the room, she quickly unfolded the mysterious parchment and read the single line written in needlessly fancy flare.
Get ready. Now’s the time.
“Uh oh,” Was all the unicorn could say before noticing that Grace had received a similar note.
“And while I am eternally grateful for your words of praise regarding what has been so fondly dubbed Halloween, I am afraid that I cannot take all the credit. While Party Banner and his associates assembled the ride based on my design, I must confess that I am not the progenitor of the idea.” Luna paused, letting the tension build as murmurs were exchanged.
Silver noted how Moonlight and Grace had taken up defensive positions on either side of Thomas. All it took was one glance at his costume and the bat pony immediately understood what was coming. Exchanging nods with Moonlight, the Prench bat mare dressed as a Romaren prostitute stepped out in front of Thomas, readying herself as his first line of defense against the coming storm.
“The credit, my little ponies…” Luna took note of Celestia rolling her eyes. “… goes to Senior Concubine Sir Thomas, as the inspiration stems from one of his favorite foalhood stories!” She declared with passionate pride. “It is he to whom your praise is owed.”
Time seemed to slow down for Thomas. Luna had told him this moment was coming, but only if it turned out everyone liked the ride, which they apparently did. His eyes darted about as he was met with looks of surprise and intrigue from the surrounding ponies. The three mares positioned around him offered some comfort, but he found their protection lacking when he noticed Talon was absent, despite her being there when Luna had explained all this the other night.
“Brilliant!” A stallion dressed as a dragon declared as he approached with an excited grin, only to be intercepted by an orange unicorn stepping in front of him and assuming a defensive stance. The stallion took the hint immediately and settled for speaking to Princess Luna’s muse from across the invisible line set by the unicorn and two bat ponies.
“Was this truly a foalhood favorite of yours?”
“Well yes, but-” Thomas tried to answer before being cut off.
“Did you really think such a thing would be appropriate for Equestrian foals?”
“I didn’t really-”
“Did Princess Luna agree to this right away, or did you need to apply methods of persuasion?”
“Wait, what?” But there were just too many ponies clamoring for attention.
“Now, now, fillies and gentlecolts,” Silver did her best to speak above the commotion. “I’m afraid the poor colt is rather shy, so I must insist that you lower your voices.”
“A colt? So it’s true the new Princess is a cradle robber!” A mare said before mysteriously falling backwards, colliding with a serving stallion, and knocked his tray of drinks onto all within the splash zone.
“Oh my,” Silver gasped sympathetically as she cupped a hand to her cheek. “Are you alright?” She asked, not moving from her spot as she struggled against a smirk.
Meanwhile, Thomas could have sworn he saw a familiar red feathered wing disappear into the crowd just behind where the mare had fallen.
“As I was saying,” Silver continued with mild irritation as she raised her hands up high. “You are lords, ladies, and other upstanding citizens of the realm. Surely you wouldn’t want to clamor like tabloid journalists and for Equestria’s only human to think less of you.”
That seemed to get nobility’s attention as the near riot quickly faded into a dull roar. Grace and Moonlight continued to hold their positions by Thomas’ side while Silver, with a serene smile and approachable posture, remained at the front. By some unspoken agreement the guests had begun moving one at a time before Silver where they would politely request an audience and she, for the most part, would grant it.
After exchanging formalities, a stallion named Shirt Trim smiled warmly as he asked, “Sir Thomas. I’m sure we’re all dying to know,” he gestured to the surrounding costumed ponies who were giving them their full attention, “how this infamous haunted house came to be?”
With the support of his friends literally at his back, and a proud affirming nod from Luna still on the stairs, Thomas decided the best approach would be the honest one. “Humans have a holiday called Halloween that’s remarkably similar to Nightmare Night. Ponies have been talking about this night so much that I thought Princess Luna would like to hear one of my favorite Halloween stories, ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’. She liked it a lot. Then we just started talking and she got the idea to turn the first part of the story into the haunted house everyone’s been talking about.”
Shirt Trim bobbed his head in a soft appreciative bow and departed. Apparently part of the unspoken agreement between nobles was that each one only got one question.
Either pony body language goes a lot deeper than I thought, or they're all following some unwritten protocol, Thomas thought. Noticing Silver watching him patiently, he realized what she was waiting for and promptly nodded for her to send in the next one. Damn, she’s good at this. As Silver turned to welcome the next questioner, Thomas found his eyes focusing on her back, as if realizing for the first time how powerful those seemingly dainty wings must be to lift her frame off the ground.
Thomas wasn’t the only one impressed by Silver’s performance. Moonlight couldn’t help but admire how expertly Silver had wrangled the crowd, saying just the right things to make them self-conscious and put them on their best behavior. Talon held similar thoughts, only she went a step further in comparing the bat pony’s actions to what she’d seen from Sun Dancer in equitable situations. Leaders were apparent by their ability to speak and be listened to by all. The white and pink alicorns were well aware of Luna’s thoughts on the matter, along with the fidgeting indigo wings that threatened to bisect them at a moment’s notice.
Questions continued to flow following Shirt Trim. Some nobles had rephrased their initial questions to be much more polite; but there were also questions regarding the monsters present in the ride and the lore surrounding them; requests for details relating to the ride’s namesake and Halloween the holiday, of which there was much interest; and the occasional personal inquiry, which was immediately met with Silver politely suggesting something different. Thomas continued to answer openly and honestly, grateful that there didn’t seem to be anything that might have betrayed his secret. Thankfully, with all the nobles surrounding them and listening intently to the human’s every word, it wasn’t long before they began to disperse and the party returned to normal.
Thomas let out a long sigh of relief when it seemed the Q&A had finally ended. “Well that was an ordeal.” Though he nearly jumped when he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, only to turn and see Moonlight smiling proudly at him.
“You did wonderfully, S-Thomas,” Moonlight corrected herself at the last minute as she beamed at him.
“I’m just surprised everything went so smoothly,” Talon said as she swaggered up to them. “Honestly I was expecting something like a small riot, but then sweet wings stepped in.” She shot Silver a half smile and flicked her lion tail against the mare’s ankle, causing her to blush. “Not bad.”
“Where were you back there?” Moonlight growled.
“Easy there, Smarty.” Talon held up her hands placatingly. “I was blending into the crowd to make sure no one was trying anything from a blind spot.”
“Wait a minute.” Silver had recovered from her blush and was now glancing skeptically between her friends. “Was there something I missed, because it sounds like there was some sort of plan here?”
“Ah,” Talon realized. Glancing up at the stairs, she saw that the Princesses had begun their descent, likely meaning they no longer saw a need for a bird’s-eye-view. “Guess you weren’t there for the briefing. Thing is we got this anonymous tip that-”
“Sir Thomas,” greeted an approaching hot pink mare dressed as a sunflower with petals surrounding her face. Stopping briefly to do the dance of approval with Silver, she returned her attention to Thomas with an eager grin. “Hello, there. My name is Fine Silk and I must say it is an absolute pleasure to meet you in person.” She extended her hand, palm up.
Recalling his brief lesson in party etiquette, Thomas extended his hand into Fine’s, palm down so as to allow her to kiss his knuckles. However, the moment he did, his entire body began to glow as a blue aura swelled around him like a bubble. The group looked on in surprise, but Moonlight was the first to realize what was happening and immediately tackled Fine to the ground.
“Gah!” Fine cried out as she struggled against the larger mare on her back as her chest was pressed into the floor. “What’s the matter with-” but she was cut off as Moonlight tore the top petals from Fine’s head, revealing the dimming light of a lit horn.
“You’re under arrest!” Moonlight declared angrily as her hand slipped into her back pocket, retrieved something concealed in her fist, and slipped it onto the pink mare’s horn. It was a nullifier ring.
“Wha…” Fine shook her head as a brief bout of dizziness took her. “On what charge?” She asked as her struggles faded and her body shivered under the effects of the ring.
“Attempted foalnapping,” Talon informed with a sneer as she removed a pair of cuffs and slapped them on the pink mare’s wrists.
“Wha…” It looked like Fine was having trouble keeping her eyes open. “What are you…”
“Anonymous tip,” Talon informed as she lifted the pink mare up. “Seems some pony got too big for her teats and thought she’d try something stupid.”
“Stupid doesn’t even do it justice,” Moonlight sneered. “You tried to teleport him away without even considering that he might have wards.” She motioned to Thomas as the blue aura was shrinking away. Next she fixed the would-be foalnapper with a look that made the drowsy unicorn snap to attention in terror. “But believe me when I say your failure won’t make things any easier for you.”
Jesus! Thomas thought as a chill went up his spine. His vision was still a little blue, but that didn’t stop him from seeing that Moonlight was not a mare to be trifled with when angered. They’d all known about the anonymous tip from the beginning, save for Silver. The plan was to layer Thomas in extra wards and wait until the foalnappers played their hand. And while nervous, Thomas had agreed to the plan, trusting in his friends to keep him safe. Still, the entire ordeal had suddenly become so much more real and the human was beginning to question if he’d be up for any future parties.
**********
Firestorm had been watching the scene unfold from afar, but something didn’t sit quite right with him. Moonlight was right that the foalnapper was grossly negligent for not considering the possibility of wards. In fact, the whole thing was so horrendously sloppy that… Alert, Firestorm lit his horn beneath his wool hat and quickly scanned the vicinity for any high level magic. It was an absurdly complex and aggravating spell, as even the most common of levitation spells were known to interfere and give off false positives. Few unicorns had the patience for such things. However, the process was significantly simpler when one knew exactly what kind of spell they were looking for.
No pony’s getting their hands on his skinny flanks until I get what I want.
**********
The black stallion painted with white stripes to resemble a zebra grinned as he looked on. Fine had successfully planted the marker. The stallion fiddled with the trinket in his hand and already he could feel its roots spreading through the wards. It was a good thing too because these kinds of talismans were not easy to come by. Soon he would have a complete understanding of the human’s defenses and be able to snatch him up without a fuss. All he needed now was to-
“Umph!” he grunted on his plummet to the ground.
“Sorry!” A stallion dressed as a bandit loudly apologized after having accidentally knocked the poor fellow down. “I… I’m terribly sorry. Here.” He reached down, still speaking louder than was strictly necessary and turning a great many heads. “Let me help you up.”
“Get off me you simpleton!” The painted stallion snapped as he swatted the bandit’s hand away. “Do you know who I am?”
“I’m terribly sorry, sir!”
“And keep your voice down,” the painted stallion hissed. “Do you want the whole castle to hear you?”
“There!” A guardsmare shouted, pointing in their direction. “The signal’s coming from that stallion there.”
“Oh buck,” the painted stallion grimaced. He tried scrambling to his hooves, only to fail to gain traction under the suddenly slick floor. The poor fellow continued to slip and slide as the guards grew ever nearer.
“Oh my goodness,” the distraught bandit gasped. “Can… Is there anything I can do to help?”
The painted stallion turned to face the bandit, ready to tell him off once more, only for his ears to splay at the sight of the bandit’s devilish smirk at his expense and the fading glow of his orange horn. “Y-you?”
“Me,” the bandit sneered with a smirk as he vanished into the crowd.
**********
“Faust above!” Blueblood gasped melodramatically as he watched the guards surround some stallion painted as a zebra. “I knew the Gala was cursed, but I thought at least the Masquerade was still a function of civility and propriety.”
“Goodness,” a teal stallion whimpered as he huddled close to Blueblood. “What’s happening?”
“There, there, my sweet Mint Step,” Blueblood cooed as he wrapped his arm around the smaller stallion and patted his shoulder in reassurance. They’d met earlier in the evening and Mint Step had only just now ceased in his lauding of praise on the Prince. Of course Blueblood could smell a gold digger a mile away, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun with the young stallion before then. “I’m sure it’s just some ruffian commoner making a fuss about housing, wages, or whatever else commoners whine about.”
Despite Blueblood’s offer of comfort, Mint remained focused on the scene at hand. “Th-they’re saying he’s under arrest. I think I heard something about foalnapping. And… what was that with the human glowing earlier?”
Even amidst the ponies in various states of panic, Blueblood became aware of a presence behind him. “Pssh!” he scoffed. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“B-but those looked like magic wards,” Mint insisted. “W-was somepony trying to do something to the Princess’ concubine?”
“Who can say?” Blueblood shrugged. “But who would possibly be so foolish as to attempt something like that out in the open? Granted that the human is under constant guard and the confusion of such a gathering would be a prime opportunity to get close.”
Mint finally turned from the scene of the arrest to look up at Blueblood in confusion. “P-Prince?”
“Though, if that were the case, this would be quite the operation,” the Prince laughed to himself. “I mean, you couldn’t just teleport the colt right out of the castle. Too many wards and it would be too easy to track, especially with the Princesses on the job,” he said as he watched the Princesses approach the suspect and his intended victim. “My body guards used to tell me about these things. No,” he said with a far off and serious look. “I’d wager there are other foalnappers positioned around the castle grounds, ready to bounce the little colt between them and throw off the scent, so to speak.”
“P-Prince?” Mint asked, beginning to grow very worried from Blueblood’s tone.
“But that’s just speculation on my part,” Blueblood laughed until a very uncomfortable Mint Step decided to join in. “Besides, if such a thing were remotely true, you’d think somepony would be on the job by now.”
The presence vanished and Blueblood decided that poor Mint had had enough excitement for one evening. As an apology for the human’s inconsiderate disturbance, he offered the young stallion a tour of the castle, specifically the halls leading to his bed chamber.
**********
It wasn’t long before the guests had been calmed, placated by the reassuring Princesses that all was well. Naturally this didn’t stop the nobility from speculating and piecing together what they’d seen. However, they knew that they wouldn’t get the full story until later, and so contented themselves to dancing as the Masquerade resumed.
Thomas felt like a pin ball as he was carried off between partners. Luna was first, whispering profuse apologies for agreeing to such a plan and cursing Shining Armor for thinking it up. Thankfully Thomas managed to reassure her that he’d consented to everything and that he’d had complete faith in her ability to protect him. He was then stolen by Talon who commended him on his bravery throughout the ordeal. Next came Moonlight, who seemed to be pressing herself up against him as she whispered how glad she was all worked out. Thomas could only press himself right back to reassure her that he was fine, though he didn’t notice the way her tail wagged at his gesture. Last came Silver, who had pieced together what had transpired and was very cross that she was not informed, yet still understood that she did not have security clearance just yet.
As the party went on, many guests speculated as to why Princess Cadence was not dancing with her fiancé; who they later noticed had mysteriously vanished. At the same time, The Captain and his team were hunting down the last of the foalnappers. They had been positioned in various spots around the castle, ready to flee on a moment’s notice, but Shining’s guards had found them disastrously unprepared for the surprise attack. It appeared that their various means of escape had been sabotaged right before the guards made their move. All in all, ten arrests were made that night and Shining returned to a very happy pink alicorn who hogged him through all remaining dances.
Free from criminal interference, the Masquerade came to its inevitable close with most agreeing that it was a rousing success. The guests departed slowly, but not before many stopped to ask for last minute favors from various ponies of importance, including Thomas and Silver. Blueblood returned in time to see off a much disheveled looking unicorn, and to say some final words to Celestia. In the end all retired to their chambers for a much needed rest. Thomas got his only after performing his duties to a very grateful Princess.
And so ended the first Nightmare Night with Thomas the human and Princess Luna.
“What do you mean you’re working today?” Thomas asked in disbelief.
“Sorry, chimp.” Talon shrugged. “But we can’t just go leaving our Princess unattended like we’ve been doing. Her cravings are getting stronger and somebody’s always gotta be on standby in case the old gal gets that itch.”
Thomas frowned. After that speech about alicorns being in constant heat, the griffon’s words made sense. And while he knew she wasn’t leaving or anything, it still felt a little odd for him to have a day off without her joining in. She’d been accompanying him on his day offs since the beginning, after all.
“Buck up there, little buddy.” Talon encouraged as she set her claw on his shoulder. “You’ll see me again later tonight. For now, try thinking of this as the next part of your training. See what fun you can stir up on your own when the life of the party ain’t around.”
Thomas chuckled. “What do you mean? Moonlight’s still coming along, right?” He indicated the mare.
“Absolutely.” Moonlight beamed proudly, stealing an anxious glance of Thomas when he looked away.
“Right.” Talon rolled her eyes. “So why don’t you two run off and make your own fun for a change while I get back to the grind.”
“Double-entendre,” Thomas said flatly before turning away.
Seizing the opportunity, Talon reached out for Moonlight’s wrist and pulled the mare’s ear close enough to hear her hushed voice. “This is your chance.” She whispered urgently. “Don’t buck this up.”
“Chance for what?” Moonlight whispered in befuddlement.
Talon stared dumbfounded at her friend. While she’d like to smack the mare upside the head for being so dense, there simply wasn’t the time, so she leaned back in. “Just take him out for a nice night and see what happens.” Talon released her grip on the mare and quickly slipped a small note into her armor before taking flight to catch up with Luna’s entourage.
Left standing in confusion, it didn’t take long for Moonlight to realize that she was all alone and at risk of dereliction of duty. She rushed down the opposite hallway to catch up with Thomas, taking her rightful place just behind him.
**********
Talon set down beside Silver, her momentum carrying her forward a bit until she came to a more even pace beside the mare as they followed Luna, who was pretending not to have noticed what had happened. Glancing out of the corner of her eye, Talon smirked as she could see the question on Silver’s lips that she was too polite to ask on her own. “Something ya wanna ask, sweet wings?”
Briefly glancing back at the retreating pair, Silver faced Talon curiously. “If it’s not inappropriate, what was that about?” She gestured to the pair behind them.
“Nothing much.” Talon shrugged. “Just trying to fulfill a centuries old prophecy, is all.”
Silver blinked incredulously. “I think I was less skeptical when Moon Lover said she was really a he.”
“And look how that turned out.” Talon beamed at the now frustrated looking mare. “Look, you’re still a recruit, so there are certain things I can’t tell ya yet. Hay, there are some things your boss-to-be hasn’t even figured out yet.”
Silver blinked again. “Not to seem rude, but…”
“Ya know,” Talon cut her off. “You could probably save a lot of time by just saying what’chya mean.”
“Very well.” Silver huffed, trying not to come off as too indignant. “What does it say about Sir Thomas if he has attained the rank of Senior Concubine and yet still doesn’t know all the facets of his duties?”
“That there was no real competition?” Talon offered with a shrug. “I told ya how the last three worked out, remember.”
“Fair point.” Silver conceded, adjusting the frills in her dress. “Then, if I follow your line of thinking,” she began as Talon motioned for her to go on. “Sir Thomas now accompanies Private Moonlight in the hopes of learning these additional facets?”
“Bingo!” Talon nodded.
Beaming with pride at her successful guess, Silver decided to test her luck further. “In that case, perhaps I could be of use to the Sir for the next step?”
Despite her smile, Talon leered down at Silver. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, sweet wings.” She warned, causing the mare’s ears to droop. “You just want a hint for when you get to this stage. I get it. But there’s no need to get your socks in a knot. It’s not like you even need to cheat, anyway.”
Silver’s ears perked back up at this.
“Yeah.” Talon grinned. “You don’t have the job just yet, but you’re doing just fine so far.” Talon’s grin widened as she saw the mare’s tail wag excitedly. “And don’t worry about the chimp. You’ll get your turn with him soon enough.”
**********
Breakfast went by with relative quickness and quietness. Thomas had made several attempts at striking up a conversation, but none felt quite right as they all died on his lips.
Moonlight noticed this and wanted to help, but in all honesty she liked this bout of quiet time. For her, it was enough that they simply sit and enjoy each other’s company. She expressed as much during the fifth time the human failed to speak by gently bumping his shoulder and smiling warmly. The way he smiled back, filling her with such tender warmth, left her stumbling to catch herself before she started leaning on him. Don’t get ahead of yourself now. You have no way of knowing how he’ll react to that kind of flirting, she scolded herself while she ate, continuing to run through scenarios in her mind.
I’m covered in armor. It would be terribly uncomfortable for him, she reasoned. Then again, if he were wearing armor too, they could lean on each other all night. That might be nice. He’s my charge and I’m his guard, but the taboo just makes things more exciting. She reminded herself about all the romance stories she’d read about guards doing that very thing and how well it usually worked out. Most of those stories are based on real life events, so that might mean things could really work out. On the other hand, how do I know if he’d even want to do that sort of thing with me anyway? Moonlight continued to reflect on these thoughts as she followed Thomas from chow hall back to Luna’s chambers.
“So.” Thomas began as he sat on the edge of the bed and let his legs swing idly as his guard stood beside him. “What’chya wanna do?”
Buck! Moonlight cursed. He’s looking to me for ideas? What am I supposed to... calm down, filly. Calm down. She soothed herself, endeavoring to think rationally and not about what a mare and stallion could do alone in a Princess’ bedroom for an indefinite amount of time. It’s no big deal, right? Just gotta think of something we’d both enjoy on his day off. Now let’s see here. She pondered. We could try writing, just spend the night all alone and work together on the book? No. We already do that all the time. Besides, we already had a lazy day that one time, and look how that… worked… out. Moonlight quickly shook that thought out of her head. My friends and I used to just go out for tea or something all the time. This lead Moonlight to wonder if she should invite Grace to join them and what that imply. Thankfully that line of thought was cut short when she remembered the bat pony was working tonight, so at the very least that was one less complication to consider.
Thomas was also stumped thinking of something to do. Usually it was Talon who chose their activities. As he unknowingly encountered the same brick walls as Moonlight, he glanced at the window and spied a strange looking bird fly across the night sky. “Does Canterlot have a zoo?” He asked.
Moonlight’s ear flicked. “I think so.”
“Do they have any nocturnal exhibits?”
Moonlight felt her lips begin to curl into a smile. “I think they do, yes.”
“Well alright then!” Thomas announced as he went over to the dresser and donned a heavier set of his civilian clothes to combat the cool night air and grabbed his bit bag. “Let’s go to the zoo.”
Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes! Moonlight cheered. The zoo’s a perfect idea. It’s public, but not too crowded this time of night so we should have the run of the place. Only ponies we’re likely to encounter at night are students studying for their exams, zoo staff, and the odd romantic couple come to watch the daytime animals curl up with their mates, safe and secure beneath the romantic light of Luna’s moon. She knew this for a fact because word around the castle had said that the zoo had become quite the popular destination for young lovers since the opening of so many new nocturnal exhibits. Besides other couples helping to set the mood, the relative privacy and the love songs of the animals as our primary ambience, we’ll have a splendid time looking at all the cute and exotic animals, reading the exhibit descriptions, and maybe share some cotton candy. Then after we’ve walked ourselves tired, we’ll grab a spot on a nearby bench. The chill of the night air will cause us to snuggle up for warmth. Then, as we gaze into each other’s eyes, as those tiny little emeralds stare into my very soul, I’ll say…
“Coming?” Thomas asked.
Moonlight just about jumped out of her armor, causing the human to snicker at her reaction. “Oh. Uh, yes. I’m c-coming,” she said as she rushed to catch up beside him.
“You alright?” Thomas asked. “You were zoning out a bit back there.”
“Don’t mind me.” Moonlight laughed uneasily. “Just thinking about… stuff.”
“Stuff’s good,” Thomas remarked as he pushed the door open. “What kind of stuff?”
That I just thought of a perfect destination for our first date where I’ll hopefully confess my feelings for you, only to realize I’m probably going to be a nervous wreck the entire time. “Nothing much.” Moonlight tried to play off casually. As she followed the human down the hall, she caught herself staring at his small human rump for prolonged periods of time, and yet felt absolutely no guilt.
**********
“Something ya care to share with the rest of the class?” Talon asked as she led Silver down the corridor away from the royal dining hall.
“Just a bit of relief.” Silver answered. “I’m used to getting less than pleasant looks from others for eating meat. It’s just nice to be without that for a change.”
“I’ll bet.” Talon agreed. “Yep. We’re pretty open minded around here, especially in our line of work.”
“I noticed,” Silver chuckled. “Is a minotaur climbing onto the table and dancing like that part of the norm around here?”
“More so than he would like.” Talon grinned back as she recalled the way Steel Hoof, after much encouragement from his fellow concubines, did as Silver described, but also subjected them all to his awful singing voice while everyone, including the Princesses, cheered him on. “But you should see how Amber dances. Now that’s a real sight to behold.”
Silver pursed her lips together to keep from bursting out in laughter as she’d done back in the dining hall. Thankfully, she wasn’t the only one, so she’d been spared what would otherwise have been the most embarrassing moment of her life. Eventually she calmed down enough to continue speaking. “It was nice to see the Princesses enjoying themselves like that.”
“Ain’t it, though?” Talon chuckled as she regarded the mare. “Anything in particular?”
“Just… I’m not even sure I can describe it.” Silver admitted with an air of whimsy.
“Try it.” Talon encouraged.
“Well…” she strained to think of a way to put her thoughts into words. “It was like the sound of happiness, if that makes sense. It’s just,” she sighed romantically as she gazed off into space.
Talon could almost see what the mare was imagining, but almost wasn’t good enough. “What does it look like?” She whispered, hoping not to startle the bat pony from her mental image.
“A full moon casts its light overhead.” Silver described wistfully. “Just enough to make out your lovers’ features as you gaze into one another’s eyes. A gentle wind brushes by, causing his mane to blow across his face. You reach out to clear it away, only for your hand to meet his. There’s a brief pause before you all burst out into giggles and collapse into each other’s arms.” She sighed longingly.
“Under the Harvest Moon?” Talon asked without thinking, breaking the mare of her waking dream. “Sorry. But I swear I read that line in ‘Under the Harvest Moon’.”
“Oh, uh.” Silver hesitated. “That was one of my favorites, growing up.”
“No kidding,” Talon nodded as she leaned in close, well within Silver’s personal bubble. “Just between us, which Princess’ laugh did ya like more?” She asked as if they were sharing a dirty secret.
Silver just gave the griffon a deadpan glare. “Is that even a question?” She asked incredulously. “You do realize if I don’t answer Princess Luna, I’d be a disgrace to my entire tribe and have to forfeit my wings, right?”
Talon did a double take to make sure she’d heard correctly. “Seriously?”
“I’m almost certain there’s a law about it somewhere.” Silver replied confidently.
“Ah,” Talon nodded as she caught on. “Any other bat pony rules I need to know about?”
“As a matter of fact…”
**********
After removing several plates of armor to create a more casual mood, the pair set off and soon found themselves at the zoo. Moonlight had insisted on paying the cab, as well as their entry fee. This seemed to bother Thomas, but he made no comment. Thankfully Luna’s spell to insulate his body heat, combined with his thicker clothing, managed to mostly protect the human from the increasing winter chill. As they made their way through the relatively thin crowds, the mare never ceased in her internal chastisement of herself.
Just tell him already, you dolt! Here she was, a mare taking a stallion out for a date, and he probably had no idea. She wanted to tell him that’s what this was, or at least what she hoped it was, but there was that ever present fear of rejection all mares suffered when dealing with cute stallions. It’s like a bandage. Just tell him and get it over with. But she knew it was never that easy. We’re already out together. Maybe… maybe I can just drop hints here and there and hope he picks it up on his own?
“Where do you wanna go first?” Thomas asked as they stared at the map just past the entry way. The zoo was shaped like the number eight with several roads branching off along with various colored areas scattered about. Checking the legend, it seemed black was for bathrooms, yellow was for concessions, and green was for gift shops.
Moonlight was torn between the map and the fact that Thomas had bent over slightly to read it, unknowingly sticking his rump out just enough to be noticeable. “W-whatever you think is best, s-” her teeth clicked as she slammed her mouth shut. You almost said ‘sweetie’ you moron. That’s more of a hammer than a hint. Why don’t you raise your tail while you’re at it? She snarked at herself.
“Alright.” Thomas said as he straightened up and pointed at the map. “How about we go left,” he traced his finger along the main road, “and loop around here. We can see the whole thing in no time. What’d ya think?”
“S-sounds fine.” Moonlight nodded, debating with herself whether to let her tail wag.
“You don’t have allergies, do you?” Thomas asked as he stepped forward. “It sounds like you’ve been sniffling for a while now.”
“Really? I, uh, hadn’t noticed.” Maybe the hammer’s not such a bad idea after all, stupid thick colt. She chided herself before realizing how impatient she was being. She’d been raised better than to even consider pressuring a colt into a relationship he wasn’t ready for. Silly filly. He’s a human, not a colt. He probably just hasn’t fully grasped our signals yet. Luna said we needed to be more straightforward and he told Sun Dancer he preferred verbal, so all I have to do is tell him. Moonlight’s mental revelry was short lived as she realized she’d found herself back at square one. The whole idea of saying her feelings out loud like that was just too embarrassing. Maybe I’ll just try the date and see how he feels at the end?
Her mind made up, Moonlight was pleasantly surprised by how much she was enjoying herself. There was a surprising number of active animals out tonight and the mare couldn’t help but coo over Thomas’ foalish excitement at seeing so many animals that were apparently not native to the human country. In all fairness, she was not immune to such excitement as it had been years since she’d last been to the zoo herself.
“And these are called manticores.” Said a tour guide they’d come across as she indicated the lion-like creatures behind the glass.
“I-is it safe?” A young unicorn colt asked as a filly wrapped her arms protectively around him. Neither saw the envious look Moonlight shot them. “Th-they have wings, so can’t they fly out?”
“Not to worry,” the tour guide assured good naturedly as she shared an encouraging look with the filly before indicating the area above them. “If I might direct your attention to the dome cage.” She addressed the group as a whole. “These metal wires are not only enchanted to be strong enough to hold back a belligerent manticore, but they’ve also been laced with special oil that the manticors find quite foul.” She giggled. “In essence, not only can the beasts not break through the cage, but they wouldn’t want to go near it anyway.” The tour group shared nervous laughs as the guide continued her rehearsed lecture on the creatures, pausing to answer the occasional question.
“No need to fear, Sir Thomas.” Moonlight bragged as she and her date lingered along the outskirts of the tour group. “If one of those beasts should break loose, you can be sure I’d give my life to protect you.” Moonlight whispered, hoping her speech had sounded as cool as it did in her head.
“I appreciate the thought, but I’d prefer if you could do that without dying.” Thomas said as he regarded her thoughtfully. “I’d miss you if you had to go.”
It took Moonlight a second to remember that she needed to breathe. “I… thank you.” She smiled at his kind words. “I’d miss you too.” While experience told her to brace for the inevitable follow-up joke to lighten the mood, instead all she got was a brief human-shaped bump to her side. Moonlight focused her mind on reciting her training regiment from the academy, along with anything else to keep her armor from sounding like a bell while her heart thudded in her chest.
Unfortunately, the mare was brought down from her excitement when she spotted a few ponies shooting a few dirty looks her way. Donning her scary face, Moonlight shot back dirty looks of her own as she warningly tapped her hoof to the ground. For no reason at all, the ponies decided their time was better spent looking elsewhere, thankfully before Thomas noticed. Never let your guard down. Moonlight scolded herself. You’re still his guard, only now you don’t have Tali for backup. Gotta be extra careful.
The pair continued to follow just behind the tour group down the well-lit brick path. Only twice did Moonlight have to grab Thomas by the shoulder to keep him from moving too far ahead. The first time he looked confused, so she warily scanned their surroundings. He got the message and stuck by her side from then on, which she appreciated, especially with how close he was. Most ponies looked at him with either confusion or polite smiles, others warily kept their distance, but it was the minority who sneered at the human that the mare kept her eye on. It was as though they were indignant that such a creature would dare walk around in public without a leash. Some joked that it was only a matter of time before the zoo went to retrieve their missing exhibit and Moonlight was grateful for the human’s lesser hearing.
Now Thomas may have been thick, but not as thick as most people seemed to think. He might have been slow to pick up normal social cues, and most aspects of pony body language still eluded him, but he wasn’t blind to the various looks ponies shot him, nor was he numb to the fact that Moonlight had been gently batting at his backside and legs with her tail for the last half hour or so. Damn it to hell! What the hell is wrong with me, and her for that matter? Granted she’s always been a little reserved. That’s part of what made her so approachable to begin with. Come to think of it, I guess it’s always been a bit easier for me to talk to the quiet ones. Talon being the exception since she started talking to me, but Luna was pretty quiet at first so my point still stands. And that was when Thomas made the connection between Moonlight and how things started with Luna. There were a number of other similarities. Tread lightly dude.
“Moonlight.” Thomas said softly while keeping his eyes trained forward.
“Yes, Sir Thomas?”
Thomas quickly glanced up at her and back, too afraid to meet her gaze for what he wanted to say. “I, uh…” *Gulp*. “Y-you know you…” Way to do Shakespeare proud, numb nuts. Thomas chided himself, trying to ignore the feeling that he was cheating on Luna by doing this. She said she wanted me to have a life, and herd, outside of her, so that makes this alright, right? Thomas wasn’t sure whether to take the increasingly loud thudding in his chest as confirmation or not.
Moonlight felt her lips dry out and wetted them, telling herself that he couldn’t possibly be trying to say what she was thinking. “Is there something you wish to-”
“You have pretty eyes!” Thomas blurted, keeping his eyes fixed on the group up ahead as he felt an armored hand shakily grasp his shoulder and hold him in place. Chancing a glance back, he found the armored mare’s eyes seemed to have glazed over as her entire body trembled. After a period of silence, he figured that grabbing him was more out of reflex and not because she could think of anything to say. “You, uh, wanna sit down somewhere?”
The mare blinked, bringing her eyes back to their natural shade of blue and nodded. They found a nearby bench and awkwardly danced about who would be the first to sit. Eventually Thomas sat down, with Moonlight taking the spot about six inches to his left. After another period of silence, as neither party felt like saying much, Moonlight dared to scoot an inch to her right. Feeling daring, Thomas decided to raise her two inches to his left. Moonlight only dared another inch, though she did curse the way her tail kept trying to swat his backside through the bench.
Inhaling deeply, Moonlight soon recognized the scent of fresh flowers and realized their bench was located next to a lovely flower bed. Further awareness revealed somepony was playing a rather romantic song nearby. Meanwhile, a not at all suspicious mare in a trench coat was briskly retreating from the window of the facility where the music was coming from, where another mare could be seen counting her recently received bits. And as the light seemed to hit the pair at just the right brightness, Moonlight recalled the letter Talon had given her. Quickly fishing the note out from her armor and, making sure Thomas wasn’t looking, opened it to reveal… Celestia’s writing!?
Dear Moonlight Shield
You have always been on the shy side, ever since you were a little filly. You excel in your classes, but you tend to require others to come to you before you can make friends. This is simply how you are and there is nothing wrong with that. After all, my beloved niece, you are a fine young mare who has worked hard to earn her position in my sister’s honor guard. There are none who can question your character, and expect to keep all their teeth intact.
However, this behavior can become a problem when it stands in the way of allowing you to pursue what you really want. I refer, of course, to the human you’ve been crushing on. Now don’t try to deny it. I may not have Cadence’s gift, but I’m several millennia your senior and I’ve been around the block a few times, as the modern slang goes. I’ve seen the way you tense up just as you’re about to meet him, only to relax once you have him in your sights. And while I may not be an expert in human body language, I still feel confident that the way Talon describes him staring at your plot when he thinks no pony’s looking is a clear enough sign that he has an interest.
If I know you, you are probably going through a variety of mental gymnastics to rationalize why you two shouldn’t be together, but that is not healthy. It’s perfectly natural to be afraid of rejection, but you will feel a lot better afterwards. Trust me. I have experience in these things.
No doubt you are also comparing yourself to Lulu and wondering why he’d bother with you when he’s got access to flanks like hers. This is especially foolish as, considering you grew up with a proper herd, I would have expected you to already know that there is room enough in a stallion’s heart for multiple mares. And while he might be of a different race, take my word that he’s more stallion than you might think.
Wishing you the best of luck. Love Celestia And praise be to the one true plot of Equestria
That last line was surrounded by hearts and smiley faces.
Moonlight blinked in shock as she drank in the words of her royal aunt. She’d indeed been worrying about rejection and rationalizing why she shouldn’t bother. On the other hand, who was she to argue with a Princess on matters of the heart, especially given how familiar this all was to Cadence’s speech the other night? She also had to agree that it was silly of her to compare herself to an alicorn like that, but was also left to wonder what Celestia meant about Thomas being ‘more stallion than you might think’. Deciding to put that matter aside for later, Moonlight smiled as she recalled the times she’d caught him staring, only to rationalize that her eyes must have been playing tricks on her. I… I should just come out and…
“Moonlight?” Thomas asked meekly, catching the mare off guard.
“Y-yes?”
“I, uh…” Thomas gave an audible gulp. “This is kind of embarrassing.” He admitted through a forced smile.
“There’s no need to feel shy,” Moonlight assured as she scolded herself for being a hypocrite. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” The mare added, only to internally kick herself for the way that sounded.
“I do,” he nodded. “And that’s sorta what I wanted to talk to you about.” Thomas’ heart felt like it was ready to burst from his chest. A soft breeze nearly chilled him to the bone thanks to his nervous sweating. Thankfully the aphrodisiac nature of his scent was still being suppressed.
Seeing her little charge begin to shiver, Moonlight didn’t even hesitate to wrap an arm around his shoulder and pull him close. Instantly the mare’s mind went wild with panic. You fool! He’s shivering so you wrap an armored hand around him? The buck’s wrong with you? She reasoned that she’d already removed most of the plates on her arm and that her armor wasn’t that cold anyway, thanks to her natural body heat, but she was in no mood for her own excuses. But Auntie Celestia, it still felt weird to say that after all this time, said I should just come out and confess my... Her internal debate was cut short when she felt Thomas snuggle up closer, causing her mind to go blank.
“Moonlight.” Thomas exhaled deeply as he found a comfortable position against her armor. “I know it might be kind of late, and feel free to say no.” He added. He’d been trying to find the best moment to tell her all night, but had eventually concluded that moments aren’t found, they’re made. “Moonlight Shield,” Thomas stated authoritatively, breaking her from her temporary stupor. “I said it wrong.”
Moonlight blinked in confusion. Of all the things she was expecting him to say, this was definitely somewhere near the bottom of the list. “Said what wrong?”
“Back at the castle.” Thomas continued, unable to meet the mare’s eyes. “I said ‘let’s go to the zoo’, but that was wrong. I shouldn’t have said it like that.”
Moonlight swallowed the lump in her throat. “Then… how should you have said it?”
“Moonlight Shield.” Thomas blurted as he turned to face her. “D-do you want to g-go out with m-”
“YES!” Moonlight cut him off, her volume earning a few extra sideways glances from passersby. “I mean… yes.” She answered much more quietly. “I’d love to go out with you… to the zoo.” She added at the last second before removing her arm and turning away to hide her flushed face.
“Th-that’s great to hear.” Thomas said, also as he turned away. “B-because I…” Fuck! “I really like your eyes.”
“You said that already.” Moonlight chuckled.
“Oh. Right.” Thomas remembered, joining the mare’s chortles.
Feeling the stress leave her body with each joyous breath, Moonlight found herself feeling rather daring. Closing her eyes, she quickly turned to lean down for a swift kiss to the cheek. It was a friendly enough gesture, the sort shared between mares all the time, and not at all romantic. At least it wouldn’t have been if Thomas hadn’t picked that exact moment to look up and try to say something, only to have his mouth completely blocked off.
Moonlight instantly recognized the sensation of lips as her eyes shot open to be met with the shocked expression on the human’s face. The pair pulled back almost immediately and turned away from one another. The pair’s minds raced in panic at what just happened, but one managed to recover faster than the other.
“Y-you…” Moonlight stuttered. “You have nice eyes too.” Grateful she’d managed not to say ‘lips’, she chanced a look over at the human who was also staring back at her. Slowly a grin grew across his lips, which the mare found just too amusing. Soon both of them were grinning like idiots, which inevitably turned to awkward chuckles and then guffaws at how ridiculous the whole situation was.
“Oh?” Thomas asked with a chortle. “You like my eyes, do you?”
“Y-yes.” Moonlight chuckled. “If this were a scene out of ‘Lotus Blossom’, I think now’s the time to say something sappy like,” she blushed, “your eyes sparkle like emeralds, or something.”
“Really?” Thomas tilted his head, chuckling. “I was actually just thinking the same thing, only with sapphires instead.” He shared, blinking in confusion when he swore he saw a twinkle in the mare’s eyes.
“What is it?” Moonlight asked. “Something on my face?”
“Has anyone ever told you that your nose is cute too?”
“N-no.” Moonlight felt her lip quiver. “A-and you?”
“Can’t say they ever have.” Thomas shook his head.
“Th-then if I were to do so, I’d be the first, wouldn’t I?”
Snuggling back up to her side, Thomas barely noticed the sharp edges of the metal plating. The act also felt somewhat submissive, like he was being the girl in this relationship, but he also found himself caring very little about that too. “If you were the first, what would you say?”
Was this what Auntie meant about Thomas being like a stallion? Moonlight questioned as she compared his behavior to the previously observed colt and filly. Somehow, I had the feeling she was alluding to something more profound. But the mare hardly complained as she brought her muzzle just above his hair and took a deep inhale of his natural scent. “I’d say,” she giggled. “I’d say it looks an awful lot like a mare’s button.”
Thomas looked at Moonlight with a mix of amusement and bewilderment. “Mare’s button?” He asked with a chortle, still processing where the mare’s mind had gone. “And what, pray tell, do you intend to do with this button?”
Pulling back a ways, Moonlight smiled before leaning her muzzle close, only to stop less than an inch from his own. “This.” And without warning she shot her tongue out and gave his olfactory organ a brief lick.
Thomas pulled back a bit in surprise. “Oy. No fair.” He argued before reaching out and pressing his finger into the middle of her nose, causing her muzzle to scrunch in the most adorable manner. Naturally, he snickered at her expense.
“Oy, yourself.” Moonlight chided in good humor as she rubbed the spot he’d poked.
The pair tried to stare each other down in mock condemnation, but soon gave in and burst out into giggles. For the time being, the awkwardness had been banished away. As they recovered and stared into one another’s eyes, for that briefest of moments, all seemed right with the world. At least, that was the opinion of the mare in a fedora, sunglasses, and a trench coat who’d been watching from afar.
Thomas and Moonlight had found another tour group to follow, this time closer to the guide. After the thing with the noses, Moonlight had felt emboldened enough to seize Thomas’ hand in her own, which he did not resist. The padding of her glove may have blocked their touch, but she still took comfort from the warmth she felt. At least she was no longer wearing her metal gauntlets. However, while she was enraptured by the notion of being asked out on a date, which they both agreed this was, Thomas’ focus was on the current exhibit.
“Horses,” the guide stated, indicating the creatures behind the glass, “are considered the closest living relatives of ponies. Horses are quadrupedal mammals that have been used as beasts of burden by earth pony farmers since before the Wendigo Exodus.”
As the guide continued his researched speech about their behavior and eating habits, Thomas caught himself staring between the beasts and their observers. The former were exactly as he remembered them from back home. He’d been around horses a few times in the past, and he couldn’t spot a single difference between the two. Things got especially jarring when a pony came out to offer the creature an apple. Not only did the comparison between the sentient pony and the voiceless beast leave the human rather unsettled, it also confirmed that the horses were even the same height as the ones back home. With ponies being both taller and heavier than their feral counterparts, horses would be useless to all but the smallest of foals for riding.
The spectators seemed to be reaching similar conclusions as they seemed to be eyeing the creatures with borderline dread. The guide had picked up as much and went on to explain how common it was for ponies to find the striking similarities between species to be unsettling. Horses had small soulless eyes, freakishly long snouts, and other features which Thomas concluded as the ‘uncanny valley’ effect; just similar enough so that the eye focused on the differences rather than the similarities.
“Can we move on, already?” One of the other ponies asked, his request met with eager nods from the surrounding patrons. The guide agreed and wrapped up the lecture before motioning for them to move on.
“Thank Celestia,” Moonlight grimaced. “I hate those things.”
“You and everyone else, apparently.” Thomas remarked as he followed beside her. “It actually reminds me of a book from back home called ‘Gulliver’s Travels’, where a guy gets shipwrecked on an island where the horses are the civilized ones and humans are just wild beasts.” Moonlight shuddered. “I’d rather not think about that, thank you very much. Those… things are just too creepy. Besides, how can a horse make civilization? They don’t even have thumbs.”
If she only knew, Thomas mused. “It was actually supposed to be a commentary about human society at the time. Like, he goes to one island of tiny people that are at war because they disagree how to eat boiled eggs.”
“You go to war over how to eat eggs?” Moonlight asked with a raised brow.
“Not to my knowledge, but it was making the point that a lot of wars are fought for the stupidest of reasons.” He explained. “Also; with civilized horses, I don’t really remember all the details, but I think that’s the sort of thing where you suspend your disbelief and just go with it.”
“Suspend disbelief?” Moonlight puzzled.
“Yeah, it’s a story telling technique,” Thomas explained. “It’s where you introduce an element that doesn’t or can’t really exist, but the audience is supposed to be so drawn into the story that they just accept it.”
“How do you make an audience just believe something that can’t exist?” Moonlight asked, clearly intrigued.
“By making everything else believable,” Thomas beamed. “You can make up your own universe with its own rules of how science and magic work. As long as it’s reasonably consistent and the characters react to it in a believable manner, the audience generally won’t ask questions until after the story is over. In fact, it’s actually a lot of fun for fans of stories to debate that sort of stuff afterwards.” It was then that Thomas stopped smiling as he just realized he was explaining geekdom to someone who had clearly never heard of it before. “You mean you’ve really never encountered stuff like this in any of the books you’ve read?”
Moonlight shook her head, puzzled at the look of incredulity growing on her date’s face.
“So… you’ve never read a story with elements that just don’t exist in reality?”
“I wouldn’t say that.” Moonlight shrugged. “Like the story of Robin Hood you told. A thief stealing from the evil Prince was unusual, but I wouldn’t say impossible. And having the characters be all kinds of different animals was…” she blinked in realization. “Oh, I think I see what you’re saying! I didn’t really care that the characters were animals because the story was just so good.”
“That’s it,” Thomas nodded, though not nearly as pleased for Moonlight’s realization as he’d have liked. “But what about other things that don’t exist? Like, have there ever been any stories about other tribes of ponies, like what Silver described?” Moonlight scratched her chin. “A few, but those are all based on historical documents and various legends that were, at least partially, based in fact.”
“What about fables like the Headless Horse?” Thomas asked desperately.
“I think that’s based on a mad unicorn whose experiments broke loose.” Moonlight sighed, disappointed at being unable to satisfy Thomas’ questions as he seemed to want. “To be honest, the only thing I can think of that really couldn’t happen is some of the things in the Daring Do books. That’s why A.K. Yearling has been praised as the greatest fiction writer of her time.”
Except she isn’t, Thomas realized, she’s basically writing her own biography. There might be exaggerations here and there, but that would only qualify it as historical fiction. And then it really hit him when he recalled the pony herd mentality. I should really talk to Luna about this later, but I don’t think ponies have the same concept of fiction as humans do.
**********
“Oh yeah,” Talon groaned as Silver ran her hands through the griffon’s feathers. “L-lower. Lower. Aaaand… there!” she directed, wincing when the mare pulled out the designated feather. “Oh yeah. That’s the one,” She sighed in relief. “You’re not half bad.”
“You don’t say,” Silver teased as she leaned in close to the griffon’s neck, exhaling heavily and laughing at the way the feathers bristled beneath her hot breath. “What do I have to do to get the other half?”
“If you stop, I swear I’ll strangle you,” Talon growled.
“My, my,” Silver tittered. “Sounds like somepony woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
“Either that, or I haven’t had a good preening in a while,” Talon suggested.
“I find that hard to believe,” Silver stated as she sunk her fingers deep beneath her friend’s feathers, relishing their softness. “You don’t need to be an expert to see you take excellent care of yourself. “I’d wager your last preening couldn’t have been more than a week ago.”
“Wuss.” Talon chuckled, only to coo as her wings continued to receive their expert massage. “Going for the easy bet like that.”
“And yet you’re still this sensitive?” Silver queried. “Then again, with this tension in the wing bones,” she emphasized by grabbing hold of the humerus and bending the elbow, “I’d say you were stressed.”
“Stressed?” Talon challenged. “What would I, the lovely and luscious Talon have to be stressed about?”
“Maybe you’re questioning the validity of that prophecy of yours?” Silver suggested cautiously.
“I’d better not be,” Talon warned. “’Cause that same prophecy also says you’ve got good odds of getting lucky with Moonbutt.”
Silver ceased her ministrations and stared at Talon quizzically. “So… are you going to tell me what this prophecy business is about or do I have to play the guessing game?”
“Sorry,” Talon grinned apologetically. “I’m really sorry, but I’m not allowed to tell ya yet. I don’t like secrets, and this one in particular is especially frustrating, but thems the breaks, sweet wings.”
Seeing the griffon’s resolute look, Silver concluded that she wasn’t about to get a straight answer out of the griffon any time soon. Sighing in defeat, she returned to her grooming motions, though with much less vigor.
“If it helps,” Talon offered, “I can at least say that, in the highly likely and not at all anxiety causing possibility that chimp and smarty get together, that’ll be one less distraction for him and one more step closer to your graduation exam.”
**********
Thankfully, the following exhibits managed to take the couple’s minds off the issue of pony fiction. While there were relatively few mythological creatures, most of Thomas’ entertainment came from watching Moonlight’s reactions. She couldn’t stop laughing at how ridiculous the elephant’s long nose was, which wasn’t at all relevant to the fact that it flung an elephant-sized turd at the window. She put on a brave face through the insectarium, but thankfully the small human was there to pat her back and give her the encouragement she needed to simply not look up as he rushed her out of there. In turn, she was there to offer him support through the reptile house, though he was perfectly capable of not looking at the snakes all on his own. They’d even agreed to compromise at the concessions stand and buy each other’s food and drink. All was going just fine except for one thing.
“Um, Moonlight?” Thomas asked as they sat at one of the nearby tables and finished off their meal.
“Yes, Thomas?” Moonlight replied with a wary smile.
“How normal is it for a pony to wear a trench coat and sunglasses at night?”
Moonlight tightened her grip around his palm. “Not very,” She admitted. Following his gaze, she turned to peek over her shoulder. This was the fourth time she’d spotted that trench coat wearing mare snooping on them. The first two times she’d dismissed as coincidence. The third time she’d noticed the paper the mare was reading was upside down. Now she was trying to hide behind the zoo’s brochure. And now even Thomas has noticed you, she thought with a sneer. If you try anything to ruin my date, I swear I’ll make you pay.
“What should we do?”
Moonlight grimaced. While some part of her hoped there was a way to scare the other mare off and continue their date, she reminded herself that duty came first and her first priority should always be her charge’s safety. “Maybe we should just go,” she admitted glumly.
“You think she’s planning something? What about our date?”
“Better safe than sorry,” Moonlight sighed disappointedly. “You’d best finish eating so we can leave. Try not to look at her so she doesn’t suspect we’re onto her.”
Thomas nodded, “For the record: I have every confidence that you could kick her ass,” he asserted, causing Moonlight to flush. “But if that’s what you think, can we at least stop by the gift shop first? I kinda want to buy you a stuffed elephant.”
To Tartarus with you and your cute face, she chided to herself for going against her better judgement, “I suppose.”
“That’s the one over there!”
Moonlight looked up to find a blue unicorn stallion in a fancy vest pointing in their direction and motioning a pair of security officers to follow. And now we have to deal with this, she thought with a sneer as her eyes narrowed on the approaching trouble. She rose to her full height, followed shortly by Thomas who was also eyeing the group. Sharing a nod with her companion, Moonlight took a half step between her charge and the others.
“See? I told you I saw somepony suspicious walking around!” The stallion grinned slyly as he addressed the officers. “And looky here, this fool of a mare thought she’d dress up like a guard and try to smuggle this… ape thing out of the zoo!” He explained smugly, only to turn to the confused guards when they did not respond. “Well? Aren’t you going to arrest them?”
“I am Private First Class Moonlight Shield of Princess Luna’s House Guard.” She said with proud sternness. “I am on assignment to guard Princess Luna’s Senior Concubine on his day off.”
“You see?” The stallion gestured at the pair in disbelief. “Can’t even come up with a good lie. Everypony knows the House Guard never leaves the Princess’ side.”
“I never heard that.” Admitted the first officer, a red unicorn stallion.
“Same here.” Said the other officer, a green earth pony mare. “Plus she said she’s on assignment.”
“You’re kidding.” The vest wearing stallion shook his head incredulously. “You’re actually falling for this? She’s not even wearing the right color to be a guard! You’d have to be a complete imbecile to not know that guards are supposed to be as gold as Celestia’s sun!”
“Luna’s guards wear dark purple, oh smart one,” Thomas remarked snidely, causing the stallion to jump.
“It… it can talk?”
“Yes,” Moonlight hissed “he can.” She stepped aside a ways and motioned to present Thomas. “This is Sir Thomas, Senior Concubine of Princess Luna’s Royal Harem, and he has better things to do than stand here and take such baseless accusations from the likes of you.”
“Likes of…” The stallion looked utterly flabbergasted. “Do you not know who I am?”
“Moonlight?” Thomas asked, ignoring the stallion. “Did we ever find out if human venom is deadly to ponies? Cause I find myself really curious all of a sudden.”
Human venom? Moonlight shot Thomas a look. However, at the suggestive bouncing of Thomas’ eyebrows, she soon caught on. “You know, I don’t think we ever did. Never found a suitable candidate to test it on.” She turned to the stallion with a sinister smirk.
The stallion quickly retreated behind the officers for safety. “Y-you see!” He stuttered pathetically. “He’s a vicious animal. I command you to lock him up immediately.”
“I remember now,” the stallion officer said with a snap “I remember these two from the paper!” He looked to his partner. “You remember, right? These two helped defend that one town from the Ursa attack.”
“Oh yeah!” The mare officer exclaimed in understanding. “And wasn’t it a human who gave Luna the idea for that Halloween ride? My sister went there and said it was the freakiest things she’d ever seen.”
Both officers turned to the accused parties with newfound admiration. “So you’re really the one who led the pegasi in the counter attack?” the mare asked Moonlight.
“I…” Moonlight tried to speak.
“Of course not, stupid,” the stallion officer scolded his partner. “There was a griffon who did that. I think her name was… Taller?”
“Talon,” Thomas corrected.
“Oh right,” the stallion officer chortled as he lightly tapped the side of his head, “duh.”
“Begging your pardon,” Moonlight interjected. “But I was just escorting the Senior Concubine,” she emphasized, “around one of Canterlot’s more popular tourist spots when we were so rudely accosted by this-”
“Oh don’t you try turning this on me.” The rude stallion sneered, cutting her off. “My name is Stirred Latte and my mother is part owner of this manure-stained mess you call a zoo…”
Entitled, much? Thomas thought to himself.
“And I intend to have a very long discussion with her about downsizing if you don’t arrest these two at once!” he declared boldly.
The officers shared puzzled glances before the mare spoke. “Um, sorry sir, but we can’t actually arrest anypony. We have a holding area, but-”
“Then throw them in!” Latte demanded, earning glares from all surrounding parties.
“But,” the mare continued, “that’s only for lost foals. We can’t detain anypony, at least not without cause.”
“Cause? Cause!?” Latte growled. “I don’t believe this! I am Stirred Latte and I demand satisfaction!”
“Oh really?” came a new voice.
Latte and the officers jumped in surprise as they turned around to find the mare in the trench coat and sun glasses. Thomas ducked down low and Moonlight lit her horn in anticipation of a fight.
“Pardon me,” the mare said with a smile as she fished around her coat pocket. Up close it was clear her fur was white and her mane was pink. Height and lack of any other appendages also suggested she was an earth pony. Smiling at finding what she wanted, she pulled out a badge and flashed it for all to see. “Inspector Bright Sun of the Royal Equestrian Ministry of Safety.” She paused just long enough for the others to read the key words on the badge before flipping it closed and storing it away. “What, may I ask, is the problem here?”
Thomas narrowed his eyes on the white mare. Her voice was soft yet authoritative, almost motherly, and sounded awfully familiar. Moonlight seemed to be thinking the same as her horn went out and she took a more relaxed stance.
“Inspector?” Latte asked skeptically. “Have the ministry’s standards really fallen so low they’d hire a-”
“Mr. Latte.” Bright Sun cut him off, no doubt before he could say anything to earn him a swift kick to an unsavory place. “I’ll have you know that I have been watching this incident unfold from the start. I’ll also have you know that while your family may have been charitable in their donations, for which we are all grateful, I’m afraid I must inform you that this facility is the property of the crown and not your private estate. You have no authority to issue any commands of any sort, especially not when it disturbs the experience of your paying guests.”
“Wha… How dare you!” Latte recovered quickly. “I’ll have you know that I am good friends with Princess Celestia herself. Let’s see what she thinks when it’s the word of a Canterlot elite versus,” he wave his hand dismissively, “some common inspector!”
Bright Sun’s lips curled into a soft smile that paradoxically promised unspeakable agony to any who would earn it. Slowly the mare removed her sun glasses and turned her violet irises on the stallion whose legs were threatening to give way at any moment. In the blink of an eye, the mare’s pink mane sprung to life in an ethereal flow as it adopted additional hues of indigo, aqua, and green, only to fall back limp shortly after. “You were saying?” The mare inquired coldly.
A pony-shaped dust cloud hung in the air where Latte had been standing shortly before. As it dissipated, the other officers remembered themselves and stuttered incoherently about needing to be absolutely anywhere but here. When they had gone, all that remained were Thomas, Moonlight, and the mare who called herself Bright Sun. Replacing her sun glasses, she nodded to the pair and motioned for them to come with her. Too stunned to argue, they obediently followed until they found themselves near a dumpster at the back of one of the zoo’s restaurants.
“B-Bright Sun?” Thomas asked, breaking the awkward silence.
“I know.” The mare bobbed her head proudly. “It’s a pretty clever disguise, if I do say so myself,” she bragged, flaunting her trench coat for her audience of two. “I can’t tell you the hoops I had to jump through for a good disguise in the old days.” She patted down her coat. “Much more practical and less conspicuous, don’t you think? I’ll bet you never suspected me for a moment.”
The human and mare exchanged incredulous looks as they silently debated whether or not to break the mare of her delusion. They settled with not.
“A-Auntie?” Moonlight asked cautiously.
“Who else do you know with a body like this?” she asked as she opened her coat and flashed them her bare naked form. She might have been shorter overall, but her large earth pony figure was as full and round as it ever was, causing Thomas to reflexively turn away.
“T-Talon said Fluttershy comes pretty close,” Thomas dared while continuing to avert his eyes.
Celestia snorted as she tied her coat back up. “I suppose I can’t argue with the once a generation pony who’s lucky enough to be born with a body to rival mine,” she grumbled, only to quickly start giggling. “I’m kidding, of course she’s beautiful! The only thing that vexes me about her, though, is how she’s remained single for this long.”
“Ahem,” Moonlight cleared her throat, “Um, Auntie?”
“Yes, Moony?” Celestia asked sweetly.
“Not that I’m not happy to see you… here… at the zoo… at night… but…”
“Oh, you know me.” Celestia tittered. “If Lulu were here, she’d say something about me having a problem keeping my big fat nose out of other ponies' business,” she said while making air quotes.
“So…” Thomas struggled to think of a tactful way of expressing his thoughts, but quickly gave up. “You were spying on us?”
“I prefer proactive matchmaking,” Celestia suggested with a girlish giggle. “Makes me sound less like a perverted stalker…” she pretended not to notice the looks Thomas and Moonlight were sharing, “… and more like a concerned Aunt who’s just a little anxious about her niece’s first date with a stallion.” She smiled at how they relaxed to her proposed alternative, only for Moonlight’s frown to deepen.
“How did you know Thomas was my first stallion?”
Please don’t let her be like Bubblegum and be monitoring everyone. Thomas pleaded.
“I still exchange correspondence with your parents, silly.” Celestia grinned. “They just love sharing how much you and your siblings have grown up.”
“Oh,” Moonlight sighed in relief.
“Not to mention Cadence told me.”
“Oh…” Moonlight said much more somberly.
“What? Did you think I had an array of spies and security cameras monitoring everypony in Equestria?” Celestia giggled at how the pair guiltily averted their gaze. “Such a thing would be too big to properly maintain, anyway. Even Canterlot’s too big for that level of monitoring.”
The pair eyed the disguised Princess with suspicious glares, certain she’d said that on purpose just to mess with them. Trollestia confirmed.
“Anyway,” Celestia shrugged. “I certainly hope you two were planning to stay a little bit longer. There’s still so much zoo to see, you haven’t even gotten to the aviary yet!” She pulled out the brochure from earlier. “They’ve recently received a pair of Zura birds. Apparently, when the light of the moon hits them just right, they break out into a song that’s supposed to send mares into a false heat.”
Seeing Moonlight blush and shudder, Thomas went against his better judgment and asked the obvious question. “What’s a false heat?”
“For Twilight, I would go into a long lecture complete with charts, because she likes that sort of thing.” Celestia sighed at the fond memory. “But for you, I’ll surmise that it’s all the symptoms of a mare in heat, only minus the estrus. It’s actually a medical condition, but the guide’s just using it as a euphemism for mares getting extra aroused.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively at Thomas who recoiled slightly at the odd display.
He’d come to expect this sort of thing from Talon, maybe Luna when she’s feeling playful, and definitely more than a few of the sun concubines. However, to see such a thing from the normally matronly and maternal white mare was… jarring. Then again, considering who the mare chose to share her bed with, it would only make sense if she enjoyed such behavior. Also Trollestia. Can’t let my guard down for a second.
“W-when the moonlight hits them just right?” Moonlight repeated, to which Celestia nodded. “Hypothetically speaking, when would that be?”
“Apparently not soon enough for you.” Celestia chuckled. “Well, you’d better be off, shouldn’t you?” She teased, waved them off.
**********
“Sweet Luna, yes!” Silver gasped in exhaustion as she flopped onto her side on the bed in Talon’s room. Across from her lay the drunken form of Misty Breeze, whose mane was messed and fur matted from the sweat. Both mares were panting heavily, but neither wanted to say much more as their jaws still ached.
“Not bad,” Talon announced with a slow applause from her chair facing the bed. “First time, and you both did excellent.”
“That was…” Misty hiccupped. “Wha you call that?”
“Sixty nine,” Talon answered proudly. “Chimp says it’s just as good for stallions as it is mares.”
“I’m gonna have to test that when I” *hic* “go home tomorra,” Misty vowed with solemn determination, only to break down in a giggle fit.
The pegasus mare had been drinking to celebrate her impending victory. There’d been a secret pot amongst Celestia’s harem, with everyone betting not on when Thomas and Moonlight would finally get together, but on the conditions leading up to it. Some bet on Thomas falling for her after she gallantly save him, others, after hearing about the human’s backwards ideas, bet on the reverse. For a while it looked Luna would get fed up with waiting and either order them to buck or she’d call in Cadence for assistance. But no, deep down, Misty knew-- she knew her Celestia wouldn’t be able to keep her nose out of this forever. And when Celestia decided two ponies should be together, by Faust, they were getting together. After all, where else would Cadence learn her matchmaking skills from? In the end, Misty had won for betting that Cadence would provide the initial push with follow-up efforts from Celestia.
And Talon, being such a good friend and not at all bitter that Moonlight hadn’t mared up on her own, decided to take advantage of her intoxicated friend and volunteered her for the same training exercises Thomas went through. One thing led to another, the pegasus started to get really friendly with Silver’s wings after the bat pony removed her dress, and maybe Talon let slip a suggestion or two. Who can say how these things happened? All that mattered was they did and all present company was smiling for it.
“And…” Silver panted, swallowing as she wiped away what remained of Misty Breeze’s orgasm from her chin. “You mean to say that,” she breathed, “that he really knows other positions like this?”
“Stuff like this. Stuff not even close.” Talon listed off. “And stuff that gets me stiff-winged just thinking about it.”
“I take back my earlier comment on him being an unfit Senior,” Silver admitted as she labored to pull herself up. “Clearly I was wrongheaded to challenge this kind of inspired mastery.”
“Pretty sure he’d disagree with you on the ‘mastery’ thing,” Talon corrected. “This is all just stuff humans came up with on their own. He’s just here to share the spoils of their findings.”
Silver tilted her head in befuddlement. “And we haven’t sent an expedition to discover this human country because…?”
“I’m with the newbie.” Misty shot her arm up before letting it fall lifelessly back onto the covers. “Clearly humans are much more advanced than ponies in the art of sexual techniques. We should” *hic* “fund an experdition ermediately. Venture forth I say! Venture forth and” *hic* “take their treasures for our own.”
“Or,” Silver giggled at her drunken counterpart. “We could just trade with them.”
“I’m all for either, to be honest.” Talon snickered as she climbed up beside Misty and began running her claws through her friend’s mane, though not the one dripping with her own fluids. “I hear they’ve got a surplus of stallions anyway. If they’re even half as cute as chimp, I don’t think the human governments’d mind if we took a few off their hands.”
“Yesh!” Misty proclaimed. “Don’t care how much it cotsh. I’ll buy up my very own harem of herman stallions to…” But she would never reveal her plans for her harem of humans, as the tired drunk mare finally dozed off, her snores announcing to all that she was done for the night.
“Light weight.” Talon shook her head before leaning down and planning a soft kiss on the mare’s cheek, unintentionally earning herself a treat in the form of Silver’s marecum. “Yummy.”
Goodbyes had been going on a lot longer than Thomas had initially anticipated. The mares had begun idly chatting and catching up on family matters. While a little annoyed at having his date hijacked, Thomas remained silent as he listened in to the conversation, hoping to gleam some previously unknown details about the herd dynamic. With topics ranging from rent, medical issues, vacations, and so on, all in all it sounded just like a regular old family that just so happened to be polygamous. The familiarity of it all was rather comforting.
After a while, Celestia gave Thomas a quick glance as she donned a thoughtful expression, realizing she’d overstayed her welcome. “I’m sorry, Moony, but I think your stallion’s anxious to have you back to himself.”
My stallion? Moonlight thought with a blush. It had a nice ring to it.
“Although I’d like to say one last thing before I go.” Celestia leaned in close to Moonlight, whispering conspiratorially. With their bodies so close, she swiftly sunk her hand into her coat pocket and offered Moonlight a handful of prickly edged grass with horizontal red stripes.
“Is… is that…” Moonlight didn’t need to ask. It was bold grass, so creatively named for its impact on a creature’s adrenal glands; a confidence booster in laypony’s terms. Bold grass wasn’t illegal, but it wasn’t cheap either. In fact, some cities allowed you to pick some up from the local apothecary without even a prescription. In guard training they had learned that it was not only common, but encouraged for ponies to munch a few handfuls before a battle, but these days it was mostly relegated for those suffering test anxiety, and other day-to-day complaints.
“You’re stronger than this.” Celestia whispered, glancing quickly to make sure Thomas hadn’t noticed. “But everypony needs a helping hand now and then.” The Princess smiled.
Moonlight’s eyes darted between her aunt and her gift. It only took another second before she made up her mind and shook her head with a serene smile. “Thank you, Auntie, but no.” She gently pushed her aunt’s hand away. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think I really need herbs for this. If I’m to make this work, I want to do it on my own, without the aid of any substances.”
Celestia beamed down at her niece as she pocketed the grass. “I’m very proud of you, little Moony. You’ve come a lot farther than I’d expected and I wish you the very best of luck.”
“Thank you, Auntie.”
“But you’re still going to the zura birds, right?”
Glad to see her niece had both commendable character and a healthy appreciation for romantic aids; Celestia giggled and said her final farewells to Moonlight before calling Thomas over.
“Um, hey,” he greeted meekly, fearful that he was going to get the ‘take care of her or else’ speech.
“Try not to be too hard on her,” Celestia consoled. “Strange as it may seem, she’s actually not as experienced as you when it comes to romantic relationships. Or rather, it might be better to say that her experience is very different from yours. Just be patient and do what you can to ease her into things. Okay?”
“I… sure,” Thomas said with a relieved sigh. “I actually think she’s doing just fine on her own, right now.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear that.” Celestia nodded, only for her grin to take on a more sinister vibe. The look she gave seemed to say ‘if you break her heart, just remember that I know where you live.’
Thomas felt his blood run cold as he stared back at Celestia who had resumed her maternal smile.
“Oh. And one last thing.” Celestia cheered as she began nudging the pair off the main road and into a relatively secluded glade. Once she’d determined no one was watching, Celestia leaned in and whispered into Moonlight’s ear. “You ready?” After some initial hesitation, the unicorn mare nodded boldly and Celestia’s invisible horn lit as the familiar jingle of magic rang.
“Eep!” Moonlight yelped as her arms reflexively moved to cover her body. In a flash her armor had disappeared, leaving only her linens. Her furred body felt cool to the sudden exposure of the night air. Despite knowing it was coming, the sensation of suddenly losing one’s armor was still jarring. Meanwhile, Thomas had reflexively taken to looking at a tree in the opposite direction, only to look back when he realized that Moonlight was still covered in all the important places.
“Don’t worry, my-sister’s little human.” Celestia giggled at their reactions. “Little Moony’s armor is just in storage at the moment. She can have it back if she needs it," she explained casually. “I just thought it’d be nice if the two of you could have a little intimate moment without all that metal getting in the way.” Absentmindedly the Princess took to examining her nails as she slowly turned her back on the pair, but not before shooting Moonlight a look of encouragement and a wink.
The Princess waved her cheery goodbyes and departed, leaving the partially clothed awkward couple to their own devices. However, she quickly ducked behind a corner to reexamine her coat. Somehow the perception filter spell had worn off, which was how she had been seen in the first place. Recasting a double just to be on the safe side, the beloved and universally trusted Princess of the Sun resumed stalking her niece. It’s not like she had anything better to do at this time of night anyway.
Once her aunt was gone, Moonlight’s spark was rekindled as she vowed to make up for the awkwardness the alicorn had wrought as she stared at the human with newfound determination. She had never been this meek in any of her past relationships and concluded that her behavior thus far was downright embarrassing. To make matters worse, Princess Celestia of all ponies had been going through so much to make this happen, even if a lot of it was ethically questionable. Come to think of it, a lot of Talon’s past antics and suggestions suddenly made a lot more sense in the context that she was apparently the last pony in the castle to not know about her crush on the human. Damn it, Moonlight! You’re a mare, Celestia be praised. Act like it already and show this cute stallion what you really think of him.
Thomas had reached a similar conclusion as he hardened his expression at Moonlight, trying not to focus on her chest. I’ve been treated with kid gloves since day one. Logically he knew that the ponies and griffon had just been doing what they felt was right to help the seemingly helpless foreigner adjust, but right now all that coddling just felt patronizing. And while he knew he could never change completely, he could take a stand for what he wanted. A man is defined by his actions, so it’s about time I took some. “Moonlight!” he blurted.
“Thomas!” Moonlight barked right back, clenching her fists at what felt like a challenge.
Staring up into Moonlight’s eyes, Thomas took a long step forward until his chin was touching the soft linen of her blouse. With purpose in his heart and breasts nearly in his face, the human inhaled deeply and spoke the first words to come to mind. “You smell really nice,” he said with gritty forcefulness.
Moonlight blinked in surprise at the compliment and its unusual delivery, but wasn’t about to turn back now. “I’ve always really liked the way you smell too,” she growled, matching his ferocity. “I swear you could probably bottle that up and make a hit perfume.”
“Well you smell like cookies fresh from the oven,” Thomas sneered through gritted teeth. “And I swear it’s a miracle I haven’t started drooling all night. Is that a new shampoo or something?”
“It is,” Moonlight snarled, baring her flat teeth like she was a predator. “I bought it a while ago, but this is the first time I’m using it. How do I look?”
Celestia was ready to blow her cover and burst out laughing. There words were mildly romantic, but their tone suggested a rather serious fight. Perhaps Talon had had an unexpected influence on the pair, as this sort of posturing was reminiscent of how griffons typically flirted. No matter the cause, the Princess remained vigilant against any who might interrupt this awkwardly cute moment, which she would take great satisfaction in later retelling to their embarrassment.
“You always look nice,” Thomas asserted. “But now your fur almost shines when the light catches it right.”
“That’s very nice of you to say,” Moonlight huffed, her façade beginning to break down as her heart thudded away in her chest. “Would you like to feel it?”
“I’d love to,” Thomas said in the tone of someone declaring ‘pistols at dawn’.
Nodding firmly, Moonlight slowly bent her knees. Her eyes transfixed on his as their noses inched ever closer together, only to veer left at the last minute. The gruff momentum they’d been building up had suddenly dissipated as they eased into each other’s touch. Pressing her cheek into his, Moonlight released a low moan at just how smooth his bare skin was. There was a mix of amusement and excitement at the thought that, no matter how much clothing he wore, he was still more naked than any other pony out there.
No stranger to a mare’s touch, Thomas nevertheless savored the feel of Moonlight’s fur. Her texture was different from Luna’s, but not less pleasant. Hearing her inhale deeply beside him, the human returned the gesture and took a deep whiff of her scent. Beneath the smell of sugar, there was an aroma he couldn’t quite place. Concluding that this was the mare’s natural scent, Thomas nuzzled with all the more vigor.
In time the pair pulled back, silently mourning the loss of warmth on their chests. However, all negative feelings quickly evaporated as they gazed into one another’s eyes. Before anything else could be said, Moonlight leaned forward and pressed her snout against Thomas’ forehead. It wasn’t exactly a kiss. She was just taking in his touch a little longer.
**********
Previously, on the eve of the hero’s party:
Celestia had just pulled Moonlight off to the side where they could speak with relative privacy.
“Yes, Princess?”
The Princess frowned. “You are my niece,” Celestia said sternly. “You shall call me your Aunt just as you did in the old days, or I will be forced to teach you a level of discipline you will never forget.”
“Yes, Pr-Auntie,” Moonlight grinned nervously. It was an unusual threat, but one she felt best left unchallenged. “Is there something you wanted?”
Celestia gave a pleased nod before motioning across the hall. “Do you know who that is?”
Moonlight looked over to where Celestia had indicated. “Sir Thomas and Lady Talon.”
“No,” Celestia shook her head. “There is only Thomas and Talon and, given the nature of your relationship, I sincerely doubt they would be any more accepting of titles than myself. Do you understand?”
“I think so, Auntie,” Moonlight said hesitantly. “T-Thomas has said as much in the past.”
Celestia nodded. “In that case, while you continue in your duties, as your Princess and your Aunt, I ask that you perform a little favor for me.”
“Anything,” Moonlight said eagerly.
“Be mindful of your feelings, little Moonlight.”
“Mindful of my… Auntie?”
“Of your feelings,” Celestia continued, “and of his. Thomas is a very meek stallion, but he has come to trust in you as he has come to trust in my sister.” Celestia’s smile grew. “I trust you know how much your continued friendship means to him and to Luna.”
Moonlight straightened up to attention and saluted. “I think so, Auntie. I won’t let you down,” she declared confidently, though she really had no idea what she was promising.
“Good. Then I also trust that you will not be too rough on your first time,” Celestia said with a shit-eating-grin.
“First… what?”
And then the Princess suddenly changed the subject without elaborating further, no matter how much her niece pressed her.
**********
Back in the present, Moonlight’s arms had moved of their own accord to engulf the human in a firm embrace. Thomas, in turn, reciprocated by wrapping his arms around the mare’s waist. Both parties took great pleasure in feeling the texture of one another’s bodies. Moonlight, as Thomas knew full well, had a respectable layer of muscle all across her relatively vast body. Her breasts weren’t as head-consuming as Luna’s, but they were still a size most women back home would kill for and they felt heavenly against his face.
On the other hand, Thomas had lost virtually all of his pudge since Moonlight had first been assigned to him, although his plot looked as temptingly squishable as ever. Despite his improvements, he still felt rather frail in the mare’s arms, but that just made her want to hug him all the tighter to keep him safe. He was hers, after all. Wait… no he isn’t. At least not yet.
Riding the high of his new confidence, Thomas decided on something daring.
“Eep!” Moonlight squealed as she felt his hands tightly grip her plot.
“This is mine,” Thomas declared boldly as he stared into Moonlight’s bulging eyes. “Whatever else we may be, this,” he squeezed, eliciting another yelp, “shapely mare’s plot is the property of Thomas Collins, Senior Concubine to Princess Luna."
There was only one thing a mare in her condition could think to say. “C-Collins?” She whispered in a high pitched tone.
“Family name,” Thomas stated plainly, reveling in the feeling of control as the mare squirmed in his grip. “Most humans have at least two names.”
**********
Silver had been busy cementing her friendship with Talon as they sat at the foot of the griffon’s bed. She’d never kissed a griffon before, but she imagined her lips would ache anyway after how long they’d been making out. After returning from a summons from Luna, the griffon had practically tackled the bat pony to the bed, pinning her down.
“You like that?” Talon moaned as she fluttered her eyes down at her helpless victim.
After their initial more vanilla making out, the griffon had flipped the bat pony onto her belly and began teasing her marehood with her claw. It was the naturally submissive pose of mounting. And after what she’d just been through with Misty, Silver felt she could be forgiven for her wings shooting out the moment she felt a warm body against her back.
“Y-yes, Mistress,” Silver panted. Talon had suggested the name and the poor mare could find no willpower to resist.
“Say it,” Talon urged, halting her movements until she got what she wanted.
“P-please,” Silver begged.
“Say it, bitch.” It had taken some practice, and though Thomas had difficulty explain it, Talon was reasonably confident that the term was suitably derogatory for their session.
“I… I love the way your claw feels inside my… b-bitch cunt.” Silver cried out. “Just… just don’t stop.”
“Ordering your Mistress around, are you?” Talon growled threateningly, trying to ignore the mood-threatening snoring of the sleeping Pegasus at the other end of the bed. “Oh, you’re gonna pay for that.”
And so she did.
**********
Everypony learned the social cues from peers and parents. This is what went through Moonlight’s mind after they’d realized this secluded spot had a nice bench for them to sit on. If Thomas had been a stallion, she reasoned, something like this would have been long overdue to the point where she’d assume he had no real interest. But because he was a human, not a stallion, the timing felt right somehow, especially with how good his lips looked right now. Thomas was nice. Though quiet, he was also sincere and had a good mind about him, all traits she found attractive. He could be brave when necessary, but he could also match her love of writing. In fact, the more the mare thought about it, the more she realized these were all descriptions that matched her dream stallion. There was only one thing missing, and she gave him an expecting smile in the hopes he’d reciprocate.
For Thomas, gone were the feelings of hesitation and doubt. Instead, he focused on what he knew for certain. Ponies were polygamous by nature and Luna had expressed an eagerness to one day meet a herd he formed outside the harem. Moonlight wanted this, if the expectant look she was giving him was any indication. This much Thomas couldn’t deny and he leaned forward once more, closing the distance between himself and Moonlight by about eighty percent, leaving the rest to her.
Moonlight needed no further invitation as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a kiss. His lips were small, like a colt’s, but that thought only excited the mare as she enjoyed his taste. When he wrapped his arms around her back, she remembered the shirt that kept on for the sake of not embarrassing him. Although she felt they were probably past this, it still didn’t feel quite right yet to press her bare chest against his. As Celestia had instructed, Moonlight trusted her feelings. And right now, the mare felt like what they were doing was just fine, for the moment.
As she watched from around the corner, which would look incredibly suspicious and creepy without the perception filter, Celestia wanted so badly to tell them both right then and there. It made sense to just get it out there so they could deal with it. And while it might help Moonlight, who would go along with it through a mix of herd instincts and it matching her personal beliefs, Thomas would probably freak out by the implications. Even her own concubines needed a bit of a grace period before divulging the truth. For now, it was best if she kept the secret and these two figured themselves out on their own, but at least they seemed to be making some good first strides.
**********
“Four times,” Talon congratulated as she gently ran the sharp tips of her claws down Silver’s back. “Not bad, for a rookie.”
“Th-thank you, M-Mistress.” Silver panted.
“Might need to work on getting in and out of character.” Talon advised with a chuckle. “Not that I really mind, but folks’ll be turning heads if you start talking like that outside the bedroom.
“Let the commoners’ heads turn.” Silver raspingly declared, unable to summon the strength to lift her head. “I’ve been mounted by the sexiest griffon in Canterlot and I don’t care who knows.”
Talon leaned forward until the mare’s ear flicked from the hot air pelting it. “What about Moonbutt?” She whispered. “Do you care if she knows?”
Silver thought on this a moment, only to chuckle. “If this were a test, I’m fairly certain what we just did would count as credit towards my final grade.” It was a statement, but she looked questioning up at Talon, who grinned all the wider.
“Ya know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were destined to have this job.”
Silver’s heart swelled with pride as she beamed back at Talon. Throughout her young life Silver had heard stories about Princess Luna and the way her family had served her. Needless to say, a fair amount of her free time had been spent fantasizing about what it would be like to carry on the family tradition. And now, being here, and hearing those words from a genuine concubine; it was all just too much. The mare succumbed to the embrace of the bed sheets and fell asleep with a goofy grin on her face.
**********
At last they came to the aviary. Past the main gate and gift shop was a short hallway of doors designed to keep the birds from flying out. The air became noticeably warmer as they entered the miniature jungle beneath the bird cage. Even the dirt had an unusual texture as he felt the clumps shift between his toes. The trees were illuminated by the occasional magical lantern, which was just soft enough for visitors to see but not disturb the day birds. Thomas’ jaw fell agape as he beheld birds of every size, shape, and color he could imagine fly about, perch, sing, and occasionally doing birdy dances. It was no exaggeration to say that this place put all past zoos he’d ever visited to shame.
“Amazing,” Moonlight gasped in a similar state of awe.
The aviary tour guide held out her hand and whistled. Not five seconds later a half dozen of birds took perch on her extended limb and began singing in perfect harmony. The guide then began her lecture on details regarding each species of bird currently perched on her arm.
“Disney Princesses, eat your hearts out,” Thomas joked.
“What Princesses?” Moonlight asked.
“Disney’s the company that made that version of Robin Hood,” Thomas informed. “That,” he gestured at the guide, “is kind of the thing most people think about with how the company depicts Princesses. But enough of that.” Thomas waved his hand dismissively, not wanting to get into the long history of Disney’s cultural impact on the world. “Weren’t we looking for a particular kind of bird?”
Moonlight’s ears stood on end as she surveyed her surroundings. Her tail gave a brief twitch when she found her target.
Thomas followed her line of sight until he found a pair of birds that vaguely resembled the show’s depiction of phoenixes in overall size and shape. The most notable differences were the blue-green coloring and the crown of feathers upon their heads.
The guide, realizing what all the others had noticed, decided to get to the real attraction of the evening. She explained how the zura birds really did have a beautiful song that caused ponies feelings of arousal. As such, the zoo had arranged for special stalls in the back in case ponies found themselves unable to control their urges.
More excited than ever, Moonlight stealthily approached her potentially easily-frightened targets. She was followed by Thomas, who also ducked down, and was totally not taking the opportunity to admire the way her trousers clung to her backside. After a while, the guide gave a low hiss, which Moonlight and Thomas took as the signal to stop. There they stood in silence, along with their group, all waiting for the coveted moment as they watched the birds preen each other.
“I’ll bet the lady bird isn’t the only one looking for a preening tonight,” Celestia muttered to herself.
Giggity. A nebulous consciousness opined.
In no time at all, the clouds parted to reveal a waxing moon looming above. The zuras ceased their previous activities and froze as if they were in a trance. When a ripple of feathers shot up their bodies, the birds threw their heads back and began their song.
I guess it’s kinda pretty. Thomas thought in mild disappointment. The melody was nice and all, but after the way Celestia built it up, he’d expected something… more. Exactly how is this supposed to get mares into a false... Thomas thought was cut short when he noticed Moonlight, still bent over backing up into him. The base of her tail was bouncing all over the place while the end refused to stop batting at him. Oh... Thomas glanced back to beseech the tour guide for advice, only to find the spot vacant, save for the birds who seemed rather irate at the sudden loss of their perch. Deserter! Thomas swore before feeling Moonlight’s back press into his chest. He tried stepping back, but she only pressed all the harder.
Moonlight’s mind felt like it was in a fog of arousal as her inhibitions seemed to melt away, not unlike when they first learned about the aphrodisiac qualities of Thomas’ scent. A heat surged in her loins as she glanced back to find that Thomas was now pressing himself against her back. He’s mounting me! She mentally cheered. Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh! I didn’t even feel him come up to me, but he’s really on my back. I guess these birds’ song affects stallions too. A silly grin grew upon her face as she felt the human grind his hardening shaft into her plot.
“M-Moonlight!” Thomas called as he grabbed her hips in an effort to stop her grinding against him. As he did, he realized that there were only a few thin sheets of fabric between her buns and the tent he was now sporting.
Moonlight blinked, snapping out of her trance. “Y-yes?” She asked irately as her tail flicked about.
Thomas quickly glanced around to survey the other ponies. The mares were semi-glass-eyed as their hands began roaming across the mare’s and stallions they’d come in with. And while the stallions seemed entirely immune to the song’s effects, they were not so resistant to the mare’s eager flirtations. A couple security guards began moving in to intervene with couples or groups who were getting a bit too friendly with one another, asking them to stop or directing them to the stalls in the back. The mares seemed irate at the disruption, but were still coherent enough to realize that bending over in the middle of an aviary was not in their best interests.
“At least they planned for this,” Thomas sighed in mild relief, though that still didn’t change the way Moonlight was looking at him. She was making the most unbearable puppy-dog eyes at him while her tail continued to swat at his chest. She wanted him, and with the smell she was currently wafting his direction, he was losing all desire to refuse her as her raw musk tapped into his more primal nature.
“They’re not the only ones,” Celestia practically sang. Bearing a shit-eating-grin, the Princess’ invisible horn grew increasingly brighter until her companions were temporarily blinded by a flash of light. When it passed, the guides, guests, and security staff had all been too busy dealing with the aftermath of the birds’ song to notice that three ponies had vanished from sight.
Vision returned slowly and Thomas found the dirt floor of the aviary he’d been occupying had suddenly been replaced with a soft and carpeted one. Blinking the much brighter lights away, he pulled himself up to discover that he’d wound up back in Luna’s room. His head turned to face a nearby groaning mare pressed to his side. “M-Moonlight?”
“Ugh.” Moonlight tried to sit up, but the aching in her head wouldn’t allow her to go very far. “W-what was that?”
Just as the question left the mare’s lips, she spotted a paper plane flying across the room until it landed at her hooves. Glancing around but finding no clear origin point, Moonlight cautiously picked up the plane and unfolded it.
“What’s it say?” Thomas asked.
Moonlight murmured to herself as she read along before turning to Thomas with a confused frown. “It’s a lot of technical jargon about spell craft. I can barely make heads or tails of it, but it seems to be saying that we just went through a long range teleport.” She paused with a grimace. “Courtesy of Auntie Celestia.”
Thomas frowned right back. “I thought she left.”
“Apparently not,” Moonlight grumbled, looking back at the letter. “And apparently she didn’t want us doing anything untoward in a zoo. She also says that we should get used to making quick getaways.”
“Ugh,” Thomas groaned. Although he’d escaped the awkwardness of the zura, he was certain he’d have to have a long talk with Celestia about respecting other people’s privacy.
Moonlight pressed her palms to her temples in an effort to compress the headache. It worked, and she slowly became aware of the warm body pressed against her back. “T-Thomas?” Suddenly short term memory washed over her as she immediately retreated from the human in embarrassment. “I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t meant to… to…”
“Um, no,” Thomas insisted, but his voice sounded uncertain. “I mean, that guide lady said they set up stalls and all. We, um, probably should have seen that coming.”
Moonlight turned away with a blush. “I suppose.” She considered. The song had affected her the same as the other mares, after all. However, as she reflected on the incident, she came to realize something. Those mares weren’t grinding up against just anypony. They were doing so with the groups they’d come in with; close friends and probable dates. “Although the zuras only really lowered my inhibitions.” She inhaled deeply to brace herself. “If you think about it that way, then they didn’t exactly make me do anything I didn’t want to do already.” She met Thomas’ eyes to gauge his reaction.
The human bore a look of contemplation as he realized her meaning, She wanted that to happen. She just needed an excuse. Thomas closed the distance with his mare. Before Moonlight could reply, Thomas sealed her lips with his own.
Moonlight felt a new wave of heat surge through her body as she savored the feel of Thomas’ lips against her own. He’d lunged at her of his own accord, through no outside coaxing, and her trousers were starting to cling to the moisture of her inner thighs.
The kiss finally broke, leaving Thomas and Moonlight to stare contentedly into each other’s eyes while they sat on Princess Luna’s carpet. “I…” Thomas began.
“Y-yes?” Moonlight responded with eager curiosity.
“I just…” Thomas struggled to say. “I don’t want you to feel embarrassed about this.” He waited for a reply, but Moonlight was too eager to hear what he had to say next, so he smiled. “You’re cute, but not so much when you look ashamed like that.” It was only a half-truth, though he couldn’t quite find the words to describe it. He hated the sight of Moonlight looking so down, and naturally wanted to do something about it, but at the same time felt some sort of compulsion to move as he did. “I just-” And so it was Thomas’ turn to have his thoughts cut short by a kiss.
Moonlight was practically devouring his lips as she wrapped her arms around his back and held him close. What befell her now was similar to the zura’s song, but different, stronger. The zura’s song got her horny, and drove her to seek release. This… song, for lack of a better word, was driving her forward to seek a much deeper satisfaction.
“Wow,” Thomas laughed into Moonlight’s lips.
“Wow what?” she asked back between breaks.
“I can’t really explain it,” he said happily, letting his hands glide across her body. “It’s like a song.” Thomas blurted when Moonlight gave no answer. It made sense to him, but in the sense that things make sense in a dream. “Like a lyric that’s stuck in my head. And… I don’t know. It’s like…”
“Like your lips are the next lyric.” Moonlight finished, speaking as if partially in a trance as she continued her efforts.
“Y-yeah.” Thomas agreed, surprised by how much that seemed to make sense to him.
Thomas and Moonlight stared into one another’s eyes, exchanging knowing looks. The song wasn’t something they knew, but rather felt should be. And while neither could quite answer what the next part should be, both knew the only way to find out was to pick up where they left off. Thus they resumed eating each other’s faces.
As Celestia’s last act of spy work, she stealthily removed the spell suppressing Thomas’ natural aroma and decided to leave these two alone for real. She also gently deposited Moonlight’s armor in the corner so as not to disturb them. Standing outside the door with a contented gaze, the Princess pretended not to notice the way the one standby guard was gawking at her, though his surprise was understandable as no pony had entered through the door and the magical alarms hadn’t been sounded for unauthorized teleportation. Naturally, since it was their house, the royal sisters had the authority to go wherever they wanted whenever they wanted, but that did little to ease the night guard’s nerves as he stared at the Princess of the Sun.
Meanwhile, the love birds were still busy trying to feel each other out, and up. There was something oddly perverse about how smooth his Thomas’ skin was, driving Moonlight to feel up as much as she could. She had prodded Thomas’ lips open with her tongue and immediately seized entry at his consent. His mouth was so different, so exotic, especially the sharp teeth at the front, but that just added to his appeal. Thomas was pressing himself up against the mare as hard as he could, until he noticed something hard between him where he’d been inadvertently grinding against Moonlight's stomach. Moonlight noticed as well and they broke the kiss.
Upon realizing what it was, Thomas reflexively covered his hand over his groin in embarrassment, dismissing the tingling in his wrists as nerves acting up. The sudden movement surprised the mare, but also jogged her memory at her prior disappointment at not being able to see exactly what this human was packing. “Thomas?” She whispered sultrily.
“S-sorry,” Thomas said meekly.
“About what?” She cooed innocently as she let her hands fall down his sides until her thumbs slipped down into his pants as she eyed where his hands covered. “What are you sorry for?”
Thomas opened his mouth to answer, only to realize how dumb it sounded. “Something kinda silly.” He finally admitted.
“And what would that be?” Moonlight nuzzled beneath his chin as she slunk her hands around his back to tease at his rump. “You know I grew up in a herd with brothers and a father. It’s not like this is anything I haven’t seen before… or is it?” She asked leadingly.
“It’s not that,” Thomas grinned at her implication and her eagerness. “R-remember when I said that this,” he trailed his hand along Moonlight’s hip, “was mine?”
“I vaguely recall.” Moonlight hummed as she hummed into his chest. “Do you think I need a reminder?”
“N-no.” Thomas gasped as he gently pushed Moonlight away and met her confused and mildly worried expression. “It’s just,” he grinned, “I just realized that when I said that, you never got anything of mine.”
And all bubbling feelings of doubt had been popped in an instant. “Oh? Are you making an offer?” Moonlight tittered as she scooted away a bit until she held the human fully in her vision, but her eyes left no doubt what she was craving.
With a long, slow breath to steady himself, Thomas moved his hands to the side and revealed the tent in his pants, just as the song commanded.
Once more, Moonlight felt her inhibitions vanish into the ether as she lifted the human, her human, into the air via levitation and sat him down on the bed. He was briefly frightened by the sudden loss of autonomy, but the growing grin on his face told her it was excitement more than anything else. When he looked to be sitting comfortably, her horn lit once more and stripped her clothes away in an instant. She’d never felt so nervous about being naked in all her life. Not exactly helping the matter was how somepony, a stallion, a really really really cute stallion, was staring very intently at her breasts. Moonlight appreciated breasts as much as the next pony, but that was just it. All mares had breasts. They were nothing new or special. Yet the look Thomas was currently giving her served as a decent counter argument. She watched his own chest rise and deflate as he breathed deeply, no doubt unconsciously taking in more of her scent to fuel his own… desire. That was the word she’d been grasping for. A stallion was looking at her with desire. He wanted her, wanted to look at her, to feel her, to make a mare out of her, and she wanted him to want it. It also wouldn’t hurt if this stallion, who was able to satisfy an alicorn, wanted her to want it too.
“Wow,” was all Thomas could say as he ogled her fun bags and let his eyes crawl down her toned stomach, wide hips, and finally fall on her glistening pussy.
Moonlight fell to her knees before him, her breasts bouncing ever so slightly, and set her hands upon his lap to part his legs, only to stop when she felt mild resistance and looked at him curiously. As right as this felt, she was ready to stop in an instant if it looked like he wasn’t ready.
“Moonlight.” Thomas said sternly as he set his hands on her shoulders.
“Yes, Thomas?” She asked anxiously.
Thomas readied himself to take another steadying breath, but was pleasantly surprised to find he didn’t need it. “Moonlight Shield. Will you do me the honor of being my coltfriend, er, agh, fillyfriend?” Thomas asked through a forced grin, hoping against hope she hadn’t noticed his little slip up.
Moonlight chuckled to herself as she felt her stomach fill with butterflies. “Does one of those give me access to my man’s stallion meat?”
Thomas grinned as he leaned forward and kissed her on the nose. “It’s entirely possible.” He offered, opening his legs the rest of the way.
“Then why don’t I show you the full fillyfriend experience.” It wasn’t a question as Moonlight dove down and yanked his pants off in one fell swoop and tossed them across the room, not unlike a waiter removing a table cloth without disturbing its contents.
“Damn, girl.” Thomas blurted as he felt his erect dick meet the lukewarm air of Luna’s room. “You’ve got some skills.” He smiled, but Moonlight didn’t seem to hear him. At first he was worried she didn’t like what she saw, but the blank eyed stare she gave his erection as she inched closer suggested otherwise.
The mare was too busy gazing at her prize to answer. The first thing she noticed was that there was no sheathe, which made her rather uncomfortable at the thought that maybe it had been torn off or something. His balls were rather small as they hung limply between his legs. His shaft was about seven inches long and roughly an inch in diameter, making him about the size of an older colt. It was covered in veins and looked rather wrinkled in places with no medial ring. And as her eyes went up, she beheld the rounded mushroom head and had to swallow to keep from drooling.
“Moonlight?” Thomas inquired of his glass-eyed fillyfriend.
“Yes?” Moonlight panted, pelting her coltfriend’s erection with her hot breath.
A loving grin grew across Thomas face as he chuckled at how he’d surprised her.
Moonlight caught on and joined in his mirth. “S-sorry.” She tittered. “I promised the full fillyfriend experience, and then I get all buck-brained early.”
“Fillyfriend experience.” Thomas stated plainly. “What does that entail, exactly?”
“Well,” Moonlight shyly averted her gaze before returning her focus where it belonged. This kind of thing was a little embarrassing to talk about, especially now, but she’d do it if he wanted. “Typically the filly does things for her coltfriend to keep him happy.”
“You don’t say.” Thomas nodded as he released his grip of her shoulder and slid his right hand up her neck and across her scalp until his fingers touched her ear. It winced at the sudden contact, but soon relaxed under his continuing touch. “What kind of things?”
“Things like-oooooh!” Moonlight whimpered as those tiny fingers began kneading into her ear lobe. “Things like, ugh.” She tried to say again, but found herself leaning into his touch as he pressed her ear in all the right places. No pony had ever touched her like that before, so she had no idea she was this sensitive there. However her pulse redoubled when she felt his left hand creep up, bypass her other ear, and tentatively stroke the base of her horn. “Oh yes!”
Thomas grinned, proud of himself for earning such a reaction. He’d relaxed her with her ears, only to give her the faintest touch of bliss with her horn. “You still didn’t tell me what fillyfriends do.” He taunted.
Moonlight glared up at him. He was such a jerk to demand an explanation, only to tease her like that. She was going to have to make him pay. “Fillyfriends,” she panted as she cupped her left hand beneath his testicles, “give their coltfriends… tender attention.” Despite her confident tone, she was clearly inexperienced as she fondled his balls, though the enthusiasm and attention of her touch more than made up for it. With her right hand she gently stroked the underside of his shaft with the backs of her fingers, eliciting a shudder from him. It was burning to the touch, which only caused her own loins to ache with want.
“Tender?” Thomas asked.
“And loving.” Moonlight answered as she nuzzled the underside of his penis, inhaling deeply through her nose as she engorged herself on his musk. The mare lunged forward and took an experimental lick of the penis’ shaft, causing Thomas to shudder. “I like it.” Moonlight declared. “Sweet, yet also salty.”
“Ya don’t say.” Thomas groaned as she continued playing with his increasingly painful erection, batting it back and forth like it was her own personal toy.
Moonlight grinned and began pelting his penis with a series of adoring kisses until she came to the head. Smacking her lips once more, she parted them and lowered her muzzle over the phallus. As more and more of the appendage entered her mouth, the mare felt her mind become hazy at its heat combined with its amazing taste and intoxicating aroma. Her tongue eagerly ran along the underside of his dick, pressing it against the roof of her mouth. And when she looked up to find Thomas’ face twisted in pleasure, she was encouraged to go even further, to pleasure him even more. Continuing to knead his balls, her latest lick of his head was rewarded with a sweet taste of the pre that had been accumulating there. With the hand she’d been using for the shaft, she maneuvered downward until she found a damp spot between her legs.
“Moon!” Thomas threw his head back as more and more of his rod disappeared into the mare’s hungry maw with each bob of her head. He could feel everything, from the ridges of the roof of her mouth to the slipper texture of her tongue tasting everything that it could, all within the agonizingly wet confines of her mouth. She was humming now, which caused her mouth to vibrate amazingly as she pulled off just a little, only to go back down further than before. She licked and suckled greedily all across the appendage in her mouth, “Oh, fuck…” he grunted.
Moonlight giggled around his dick. She wasn’t sure what ‘fuck’ meant, but she could guess from the context. It meant that her stallion really liked what she was doing. Taking a quick break to swallow the excess saliva and salty pre, she breathed through her nose and promptly resumed her marely duty.
“M-Mooooooon!” Thomas whined in ecstasy. Suddenly needing to do something with his hands, he grasped the base of her horn and felt her briefly gag on his member. Wanting her to share in the pleasure, he began gently rubbing up along the shaft of the horn, much as he’d done with Luna in the past. With his other hand he began combing through her silken mane as he grunted and groaned.
Not one to be outdone, Moonlight lowered her muzzle the rest of the way down until the entire shaft was in her mouth. The idea that her stallion’s entire stallionhood was in her mouth was making her wild. It didn’t enter her throat, like how all her friends said it would, but that didn’t matter. Her stallion’s penis was in her mouth, it was delicious, and it was twitching. She could feel his pulse through his dick and it was quickening. He was close and she knew it. She continued bobbing her head with greater speed, taking the entirety of his length into her mouth each time.
Thomas shut his eyes as his body shook with pleasure at how Moonlight was expertly maneuvering her tongue and suckling him like a piece of candy. He could feel her swallowing around him and it was threatening to push him overboard. “M-Moonlight! C-cumming!” He warned.
Grateful for the heads up, Moonlight removed her grip of his testicles and wrapped her hand around his waist. She pressed her muzzle into his groin as hard as she could, his pubic hair tickling her nose. She sucked and swallowed all she could until finally she felt the swell and the final release. Moonlight moaned in delight as she felt strands of thick warm liquid shoot out into her mouth. Her tongue maneuvered desperately around the shrinking appendage to gather up as much of the delicious life essence filling her mouth as it could and send it to the back of her throat. She’d heard stories from friends about how a stallion’s seed tasted, but the stories didn’t do it justice and she practically purred in delight. Once the barrage of cum finally ended, she allowed her grip to relax as she no longer forced herself against his groin.
Thomas fell backwards onto the mattress, panting heavily as he slowly came down from his euphoric high. Aside from the warm sheets beneath his back, his mind zeroed in on the continued sounds of slurping. Pulling his head up, he found Moonlight continuing to lick and suckle at his now flaccid groin, making all manner of lewd noises as she did so. It was like a child who’d been offered to lick the bowl clean.
Moonlight beamed up at him, eyes filled with pride at her accomplishment. “My father would be so proud of me.”
Thomas couldn’t help but chuckle. God damn it! She just had to go and make it weird.
Moonlight then nuzzled gratefully into the now flaccid penis. “Is there more?” she asked almost innocently as her hands returned to his balls and remained on her sex respectively. Briefly she wondered whether or not that was an insensitive question, as she still wasn’t clear on just how long humans could go for.
Thomas just let out a long chortle. “Just give me a couple minutes to recharge.” He informed mirthfully.
Moonlight hummed acceptingly as she rubbed her snout beneath his limp penis. It twitched a little, but made no signs of coming back to life any time soon. “That’s fine,” she sighed contentedly. Her sex still ached, begging to be filled, but that much was to be expected. This was only their first time, after all.
“If it’s so fine, why are you still touching yourself?” Thomas asked mischievously.
Moonlight froze as she realized her hand had never left her crotch and quickly pulled it away. “S-sorry.” She said in a panic. “That… that was terribly rude.”
“And you say my customs are silly.” Thomas snickered. “But really, what’s rude about touching yourself at a time like this?”
“It’s, um…” It was still so weird to have to explain what to her seemed so obvious. “Well it’s selfish for the mare to, you know…”
“Keeping the engine warm and getting ready for the main event?” Thomas offered suggestively. “Because if that’s what you were doing, then by all means, don’t let me stop you. Or better yet,” he grunted as he pulled himself up, “if you’re worried about being selfish, why don’t you give me a taste?” He reached out his hand for the one that had been between the mare’s legs.
“You… you want a… taste?” Moonlight asked as she shuffled her fingers, playing with the sensation of the sticky substance between them.
Thomas just nodded with an inviting smile.
With much trepidation, Moonlight offered her hand. Thomas grasped her wrist gently and brought it up to his lips. He gently blew on them, grinning as she flinched from the heightened chill of her moist digits. Smacking eagerly, he parted his lips and pulled in her trigger and middle fingers. He moaned in delight as he ran his tongue along her fingers, suckling them for every square inch of their sweet juices.
Moonlight just stared in awe as her stallion suckled her fingers for her love juices. It was all so bizarre, but at the same time so arousing. Finally she felt him pull her hand away as a single strand of saliva connected her fingers with his lips. With a smack, Thomas grinned and uttered a single word.
“Vanilla.”
Moonlight clenched her teeth shut, but it only managed to muffle her squeal of desire. He mind was plagued with all manner of lewd thoughts of what he knew of human sex practices and what he could teach her. And if he could spill where Luna kept her stash of energy drinks, they could go at it all night until… the mare’s stomach growled, leading her to lower her gaze in embarrassment. She was hungry for more than just stallion meat at the moment.
Thomas just grinned in understanding. “We did kinda skip lunch, and those zoo snacks weren’t all that filling.” He said as he stood from the bed and walked over to the bell post on the wall. “I’m thinking pasta. What would you like?” He asked as he pulled a bell.
They didn’t have long to consider before a knock came to the door. Moonlight scrambled up to a more dignified position. Ignoring her jitteriness, Thomas invited the knocker in, not even noticing his own nudity as a mare maid entered the room. The maid smiled graciously and asked for their orders, which Thomas answered as two spaghettis, and which Moonlight amended with two glasses of wine. But just as the mare bowed and prepared to leave, her nostrils flared and her tail began to twitch. Embarrassed as he was, Thomas couldn’t help but chuckle as he shooed the maid out.
With a rather silly grin on his face, Thomas looked over at Moonlight. “I think somebody smelled you.”
Moonlight wished she knew a spell for invisibility.
“Seriously though,” Thomas continued in a mild ranting tone. “How exactly are concubines supposed to be discrete about anything when all a pony has to do is walk in the room to know what happened?”
“I don’t know.” Moonlight shrugged. “I guess they just find a way.”
“Well if you figure it out, be sure to let your coltfriend know, alright?” Thomas requested.
“I might.” Moonlight fluttered her eyelids playfully. “If he makes it worth my while.”
“Hmm.” Thomas stroked his chin, pretending to give the matter deep thought.
Still sitting at the table in Luna’s chambers, Moonlight was breathing heavily as she ate her spaghetti. It might have been a relaxing moment, were it not for a certain human sitting beside her, torturing her with his smell and contentedly dreamy eyes. “Something I can help you with?”
Thomas smirked as he swallowed his latest bite. “I was actually thinking about how I could help you.” The way she squeaked in surprise was just too adorable.
“Aww,” Moonlight cooed. “How considerate of you.”
“Isn’t it, though?” Thomas asked with a smirk as he scooted his chair closer to Moonlight until their hips were touching. “I mean, how many other guys out there are nice enough to let their girlfriends give them oral like that?”
Leering mischievously, Moonlight quickly leaned forward and bopped his nose with her own. “Don’t get too cocky, little colt,” she warned. “Remember, I’ve been trained in all kinds of takedown techniques. It wouldn’t be hard for me to pin you down in just a few moves.”
“Oh really?” Thomas tilted his head to the side. “And how exactly is that supposed to stop me from being cocky?” he asked.
“Oh you.” Moonlight laughed as she wrapped her arm around Thomas and pulled him into her side. His smooth skin felt nice as she sighed contentedly. “Don’t ever change.” She tilted her head at Thomas’ sudden chuckling. “What?”
“Just, I’ve been changing ever since I came to Equestria.” Thomas sighed. “Back home, or rather what used to be home,” he corrected dreamily as he rested his head on Moonlight’s breast. “You and me, all of this, it just wouldn’t have ever happened.”
Moonlight was quiet, but her focused gaze was enough to encourage the human to go on. Thomas retreaded old ground of the time he’d confessed his feelings of loneliness, depression, and overall anxiety to Luna as Moonlight listened with rapt attention.
“If we had met back then,” he continued. “Even if you were the one to ask me out, I think I still would have refused.”
“Thomas?”
“Just… there was just so much crap in my old life. Between work, depression, countless other worries, and life just being life, I would have…” But he couldn’t bring himself to say it, figuring she understood where he was going with this. “But now, being here, and surrounded by so many friends who seem to care,” *Sigh* “I really couldn’t be happier.”
Moonlight wrapped her other arm around the human’s diminutive form and pulled him close, trying to make him feel as secure as possible in her gentle embrace. It worked as much for him as it did for her.
Returning the hug, Thomas felt a new urge. It was like the next verse in the song, only not quite as compelling, almost like it was optional. He wanted to tell her the truth. The truth about him being from another world. Confessing his knowledge about the show wasn’t so important, but he still felt the need to just tell her that there was little to no chance of finding where he’d come from, if only to assuage any fears she might have of him leaving. “Moonlight,” he began earnestly.
“Yes, Sir Thomas,” she added playfully.
“I-”
“-is why I’m having some doubts.” Talon explained as she carelessly barged in the main door, derailing all other trains of thought.
“But it sounded like you two were getting along.” Silver inquired in concern as she walked ahead of the griffon. “If distance is the issue, why not just go visit herrrrrrr…” She trailed off as she finally looked forward. Talon joined her in the awkward stare as she noticed the pair on the opposite side of the room.
Thomas and Moonlight had frozen mid cuddle as they stared at the intruders. Talon and Silver were still wearing their respective uniforms, though the latter’s maid dress seemed like it could stand a good wash and ironing. Thomas’ eyes zeroed in on the bat mare’s flaring nostrils, which was followed up by the reddening of her cheeks and the twitching of her tail. When it looked like no one was willing to speak, the sides of Talon’s beak curled up into an excited grin.
“Aaaaah!” The griffon squealed excitedly as she took to the air and quickly closed the distance between her and the lovebirds. There she seized both of them into a tight embrace. “You did it!” she proclaimed proudly as she focused her attention on Moonlight. “You really did it.”
The griffon’s excitement proved contagious as soon Moonlight joined in her laughing grin. “We did it!”
“You most certainly did.” Talon nodded as she let the pair of them go. “Thanks to yours truly.” She puffed out her chest in pride.
“Pardon?” Thomas asked.
“Well, if memory serves correctly,” Talon poshly brushed off her claws on her chest, “It was a certain griffon who’s been giving the chimp the training he needs to build his confidence, hasn’t it?” She asked, but didn’t give them long to consider. “Seems like I’m owed a little credit for this, too.”
Thomas and Moonlight shared a quizzical look before the former faced the griffon. “Thanks, Tali,” Thomas said with a warm smile. “You’re a real friend.”
“I beg your pardon,” Talon huffed in a mock-offended aristocrat manner. “Is that any way to express gratitude in a civilized pony society?” Her delivery was a bit over the top, but when she leaned in and presented her cheek, her intent was made clear.
Thomas leaned up from his seat and gave his friend a quick peck on her feathery cheek, It lasted barely a second, but it was sufficient for a platonic kiss between friends, even if they were with benefits.
“Now you’re learning,” Talon congratulated as she pulled back.
“So,” Silver spoke up, reminding them that she existed. “You two are… courting now?”
Once more Thomas and Moonlight exchanged looks. This time it was Moonlight’s turn to answer. “If I might borrow a human phrase: why the hell not?” She quickly turned an anxious glance down to Thomas, silently asking if she’d said it right.
“Couldn’t’ve said it better myself.” Thomas squeezed around her side.
As much as she wanted to be happy for them, there was a nagging fear ruining Silver’s enjoyment of the moment. “But… is this alright?”
“Alright?” Talon parroted as she glanced between the pair and the bat mare. “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be?”
Silver glanced over at the bed, where the smell of arousal was equally strong. “I just… is it alright for you two to do these things in,” she gestured around the room, “here, with him? What would Princess Luna think?”
At the time, what the others did not know was that while Silver’s family had indeed been producing concubines for generations, centuries of inactivity had caused a few details to slip through the cracks. In this case, the fact that concubines were still allowed relationships outside the harem. Past conversations with Celestia’s concubines had eluded her at the moment. Not helping matters was the aroma of Thomas’ sweat making it rather hard to think.
At the same time, between the zura’s song, the wine she’d had with her spaghetti, and the brain fuzzies of her lingering arousal, Moonlight wasn’t in much better shape for thinking. The mare began to panic, mind racing with thoughts of how she’d just betrayed her Princess. Logic took a back seat to irrational fear as the mare released her grip on Thomas, stood from her seat, and slammed her hands onto the table. She was momentarily deaf to all inquiries of concern, until one voice spoke above all others.
“What’s all this, then?” Spoke a deep feminine voice. All eyes turned to face a less than pleased looking Princess of the Night looming in front of the doorway just as the mighty gateway slid shut, causing Silver to jump back and out of the way. “I was just thinking I might enjoy a brief break alone in my room, when I should walk in and find all of this.” She gestured at the others. “What is the meaning of…” she stopped as her nostrils flared for all to see. The smell of the human and mare’s arousal was still very pungent, and the alicorn knew.
Moonlight stood up from the table, giving Thomas a look that he could have sworn meant ‘sorry’, and marched up to Luna where she knelt down on one knee, ears pulled back in submission. “Your Highness.”
Luna blinked, surprised by the guard mare’s professional tone, but decided to let her explain herself before adding her own questions. The others watched in captive silence as well. “Speak, Private Moonlight Shield.”
“I… it pains me to inform you that I have done you wrong, my Princess. I have betrayed your trust.”
Luna stared down coldly at the mare before her, all the while inhaling through her nose as the odors painted an adequately vivid picture of what had taken place here. Guessing where this was going, Luna struggled to keep a straight face as the wheels turned in her head. “How, my loyal guard, have you betrayed your Princess?”
Being called loyal had stung, but Moonlight pressed on. Only now did she realize her terrible transgression of sneaking behind Luna’s back to be with her stallion. With her prior anxieties renewing with a vengeance, as any guard worth her salt would do, she had to face the consequences of her mistake. “I…”
“It was my idea.”
Moonlight and Luna looked up to see that Thomas was now walking towards them.
“I… I suggested that we head off to the zoo for, ya know, a simple day out.” Thomas consoled. “Then one thing lead to another and…” Because that isn’t the lamest possible way to say it happened. Stupid. Thomas’ mind reeled with panic as he tried to come up with a way to explain this, the wine and sudden mood also impairing his ability to reason. “See, we were just hanging out when…” Should… should I bring up Celestia? No. Hell no! That’s only going to make things worse. Thomas let out a sigh of defeat. No more excuses. “When I asked her to be my fillyfriend," he declared boldly, ignoring the voice in the back of his head asking why he needed to explain himself to Luna like this.
Moonlight felt her heart swell and her eyes on the verge of watering at her stallion’s words. He was standing up for her, in front of Luna no less. As touching and honorable as this was, Moonlight had a responsibility to the truth and turned back to Luna with eyes downcast. “Your Highness. I was the one who initiated contact with Sir Thomas.” She breathed to prep herself for the real confession. “After asking him to be my coltfriend, I went on to… please him with my mouth in an act of courting without your consent.”
“We nuzzled each other,” Thomas protested. “And I agreed to the… pleasing.” Even if Luna gets mad at me, I can’t let anything happen to... Where is this even coming from? Why the hell am I willing to jeopardize things with Luna for Moonlight? Thomas tried searching his feelings for some sort of answer, something to confirm his long held belief that he had only ever loved Luna. However, the more he thought, the more he came to realize that both mares held prevalent places in his heart, but he did not have time to reflect on this. “We were both at fault.”
Luna watched the pair silently. As with her sister, Luna could not read minds, but the thoughts of Thomas and Moonlight were easy enough to guess from their expressions. “Lady Talon,” Luna addressed the griffon in an even tone. “What is your take on this?” She concluded with a quick bob of her eyebrows.
Catching the signal, Talon smiled only briefly before nodding somberly. “Your Highness. I…”
“Your Highness!” Silver cut in. She shrunk a bit as the room’s attention fell on her, but managed to hold her ground. “Forgive me for speaking out of turn, but there is something I feel I must say.”
Luna raised an intrigued eyebrow, but otherwise managed to remain looking neutral. It went without saying that, as worried as the others were, they were still curious what she had to say. “Speak your piece.”
Silver took a moment to breath and steady herself before bowing her head low. “My Princess. I ask that you show mercy on these two.” She pleaded, not noticing how her words surprised everyone, especially Moonlight. “I wish I were better with words, my Princess, but I have spoken with both Sir Thomas and Private Moonlight and I believe their transgression was one of negligence, not disloyalty.”
She’s… defending us? Moonlight thought incredulously, trying to make sense of her past history with the other mare. She’s defending... me?
Luna remained silent, keeping her breathing controlled as she suppressed a newfound excitement at seeing her attendant coming to the aid of her friends. “Oh? And what makes you say that?”
Not doing the old timey voice. Thomas thought in relief. Probably a good sign.
“In my past conversations with the perpetrators…” Silver continued.
Perpetrators!? Moonlight blinked in shock.
“They have expressed nothing but adoration for your Highness’ illustriousness.” Silver hoped she wasn’t laying on the compliments too thickly. Experience told her nobility were susceptible to flattery, and none were more noble than the Princesses. “I have seen the way they behave around one another and it is clear they have been holding back a strong romantic passion all this time.”
Clear? Thomas tilted his head. Were we the only ones who didn’t know? Jesus, this is like the plot of some lame rom-com.
“I know it may not be my place to say, but I firmly believe this was nothing more than an error in judgment. I beg you.” Silver dropped down to her knees after crossing her arms over her chest and bowing low. “Have mercy on these ignorant mortals.”
Luna gave a brief affirming nod before turning back to the griffon. “Well, Lady Talon. What is your assessment of this matter?”
Talon grinned at finally having her turn before crossing her left arm over her chest. “Your Highness. I agree that this mare and man have been holding back on their feelings for some time now. Feelings, if I might specify, to hump like horny diamond dogs and howl to your moon.”
Thomas and Moonlight slowly craned their heads to look back at the griffon, both giving their best ‘what the hell are you doing?’ and ‘shut the hell up you traitorous twat’ looks. Even Silver looked aghast. Talon met all three sets of eyes in acknowledgment, but pressed on.
“The looks they give each other when they think no one is looking are appalling.” Talon shook her head disappointedly. “They don’t even realize they’re doing it half the time, and I’m pretty sure that’s being generous. Why, it’s gotten so bad, even Celestia has become annoyed and directed me to give Smarty-corn a letter.”
“Celestia!?” Silver gasped. “What does she…” but a scolding look from Luna quieted her down.
“What has our sister to do with this?”
And there it is. Thomas bemoaned while the other mares were more focused on Luna’s oddly subdued reaction to news of her sister’s interference.
“A lot, actually.” Talon grinned. “She was even telling me the other night how since these two have been out on more than three dates, they’re basically courting already.”
“Three dates?” Luna repeated, crossing her arms beneath her ample chest. “Hmm. I suppose they have at that,” she nodded contemplatively. “Forgive my interruption. Please, continue.”
Wait… what the hell was that just now? Thomas did a double take on Luna and Talon, finding both females had suspiciously similar expressions. Are… are they plotting something? Little did the human know how fitting his word choice was.
“Thank you, Princess Moonbutt,” Talon tilted her head in a small bow.
Even Silver began to catch on that something was amiss. Did Talon’s use of Luna’s nickname mean the guard and concubine weren’t in as much trouble as they had thought? But… Moonlight had committed adultery by courting the Princess’ stallion behind her back, hadn’t she?
“I can’t rightly say what else Leste might have done, but I’m not surprised these two didn’t get past the welcoming stage,” Talon continued. “Shame, really. I’d been half hoping to come back here to catch these two mid-buck, but I guess we can’t have everything.” She concluded with a disappointed sigh.
They really are plotting something! “Okay, what’s going on here?” Thomas demanded.
“Why, whatever do you mean, Sir chimp?” Talon asked in possibly the least convincing innocent act anyone in the room had ever seen. “I was merely giving the Princess my take on what happened in her absence.”
“That she did,” Luna sighed. “And it saddens me to say how disappointed I am in you two.” Her words had the immediate effect of quelling the anger of the guilty parties as both lowered their heads in shame. “My Dearest Thomas.”
He flinched at the mention of his name. “Y-yes.”
“I will deal with you momentarily. But for now,” she lowered her gaze to the mare at her hooves. “Private Moonlight Shield. Stand before your Princess.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” Moonlight said as she stood, trying not to shake as Luna approached her.
“Look your Princess in the eye when she speaks to you.”
Moonlight did as she was told, bracing herself to be burned under the fire of Luna’s angered eyes, but was surprised when the Princess’ expression was still neutral.
“Is it true that, in the absence of your Princess, you decided to begin courting Senior Concubine Sir Thomas without seeking our approval first?”
“It… it is?” Moonlight half asked. The way she’s saying it, would it have been alright if I just asked?
“Further, is it true that you not only tasted his stallion meat, but also swallowed his seed as your reward, as is the proper custom for courting?”
Why are they talking like that? Silver grimaced as she rubbed her thighs together in an effort to suffocate the tingling between her legs. It wasn’t working, and neither was she able to tear her eyes away.
“I…” Moonlight attempted to answer, but found the task difficult as Luna had suddenly grabbed the mare’s chin, lifted her face, and pressed her alicorn lips into those of the unicorn.
Thomas felt his brain reboot after a brief crash, but the sight before him threatened to send it into another blackout. Luna was kissing Moonlight. No, that wasn’t it. Based on those wet smacking sounds, Luna was giving Moonlight a full open mouthed kiss, which the smaller mare was leaning in to.
Silver was suffering even greater difficulty processing what she was seeing. From her closer position, she witnessed that the alicorn and unicorn were eating each other’s mouths, with brief flashes of tongue every so often. Both had their eyes closed, but Luna opened a lidded eye and gazed intently in the bat mare’s direction. Remembering that she existed, her mind fumbled over her own thoughts in desperation to come up with a response. Still smooching, Luna flashed the smaller mare a smile and she no longer had any thoughts to stumble over.
Luna eventually pulled back and looked down at the flushing cheeks and half lidded eyes of the orange unicorn. The Princess of the Night gave somewhat judgmental hum. “Thou indeed swallowed every last trace of his seed.”
Luna released her grip on Moonlight’s chin as she strutted over towards the bed. With a flash of magic, her dress and regalia were gone. But to the still dazed Moonlight, this was not nearly as impressive as the broad swaying of Luna’s starry tail, granting the unicorn full view of a treasure only ever witnessed by a select few. And, as with those who came before her, Moonlight wished to plunder it.
Luna slid onto the bed, her mane and tail losing their flow as she parted her legs in a manner most would consider unladylike. Those who would make such an allegation of the Princess would be less inclined to do so if Luna had given them such a seductive look as she beckoned them over as she now did with Moonlight. The orange mare scampered up onto the bed and sat obediently at the spot Luna had indicated, directly between the alicorn’s hooves. The Princess’ slit was already moistening as it shined under the magical chamber lights. And the smell, though faint, taunted the unicorn as it tickled her nostrils.
“Lady Moonlight,” Luna began, but the unicorn could only muster a squeak in response. “Seeing as how this night court was especially frustrating for us, we had considered cutting night court short and relaxing in our chambers, only to find it reeking of thy arousal. Doth thou understand how frustrating this is for us?”
Uh oh. Thomas thought. The old timey speak is worsening, but is it good or bad?
“Y-yes, my Princess.”
“However, before we begin with thy punishment, thy loyalty and forthrightness must be rewarded with a confession,” Luna explained as she levitated pillows behind her until she was sitting upright. “You see, lovely Moonlight, thou art not the only ones guilty of sneaking peeks at those you find thyself attracted to.” If possible, her grin became even more seductive as her marehood began to wink invitingly. “As such, considering the nature of thy transgression, combined with thine own strong feelings for one another, we may be inclined to show leniency.”
Moonlight blinked as she digested these words. After what had happened and had been said, there really was no denying that she’d been harboring feelings for Thomas. However, to learn that not only was Luna, Princess Luna, aware of this, but that she also… “Have you really been… looking at me?” It was almost too good to be true.
“I don’t think she’s lying,” Thomas said, half entranced.
Luna merely examined her nails in a bid to look disinterested. “Regardless, while thou did confess, this does not free thee of thy penance,” Luna said coldly as her free hand slid between her thighs, cupping over her slit, and began rubbing. “Thou must atone for thy transgressions.”
“Y-yes, Your Highness.” The words left Moonlight’s lips as she stared at the hypnotic sight before her.
Finally Luna turned to meet Moonlight’s eyes as she gave the other mare a wicked smile. Lighting her horn, Luna slowly lifted her hand from her clit like a curtain unveiling some new marvel to the world. And as her hand lifted, the thing it concealed seemed to materialize out of nowhere behind her palm. When the alicorn finished, flicking her wrist back in dramatic presentation, the thing it had unveiled stood tall and proud just above her clit. Luna’s smirk deepened as she watched Moonlight’s jaw drop, drool escaping her lips as the unicorn clearly hungered for the alicorn penis that now stood before her.
“P-p-princess?” Moonlight looked past the mighty shaft that put all other stallions to shame, past the breasts that all honest ponies would admit a desire to fondle, and into the captivating eyes of the Princess of the Night.
“Thy punishment, Lady Moonlight, is to prove thyself a mare worthy of Dearest Thomas.” As if her meaning wasn’t clear enough, Luna’s newly formed apparatus began to pulse with her heartbeat as the flat head twitched in anticipation of what was to come. “Come, little Moony,” Luna beckoned. “Come and please your Princess.”
Moonlight didn’t need to be told twice as she crawled forward between the alicorn’s large legs and thick thighs to have a better look. As with any stallion, Luna’s member was a darker shade of the color of her fur. The powerful stick pulsed with Luna’s heartbeat and the flat head was already leaking pre. Moonlight reached out for Luna’s staff, grasping the shaft in one hand, rubbing the moist slit beneath it with her other hand, and adoringly brushing the flat head with her nose. The smell of arousal from both the alicorn’s sex organs was maddening, so much so that Moonlight wasted no time in taking the tip between her lips.
Luna flinched at the sudden slick and warm cavern that now engulfed the head of her dick, but this was followed by a moan of satisfaction. “By Faust, Moony. Thy mouth feels amazing upon our penis.” It was the first mouth upon her penis in centuries, but that was beside the point. Luna was reveling in the attention this gorgeous mare was paying to her long neglected shaft.
Moonlight was in pure ecstasy as she bobbed down on Luna’s shaft, gorging herself on both the smell and taste. Each time she’d pull back until only the head remained, only to drop down even further. While she’d been more than a little uncertain in her technique with Thomas, especially as her hand pumped the shaft, the lewd sounds Luna was making emboldened her to press on. As she drove her fingers deep into Luna’s marehood with a very audible slick squishing sound, something she was no stranger to when she and her friends had ‘practiced’, Luna was driven even more wild as her lower lips began contracting around Moonlight’s fingers.
Already the head was tickling the back of Moonlight’s throat, and it was barely a third of the way in. At roughly eighteen inches, Luna’s cock was nearly three times as long as Thomas’. While it remained true that Moonlight was not a pony to be impressed by size alone, she found herself loving Luna’s member as much as Thomas’. How lucky was she to sample the stallion meats of two lovers in a single evening. And just as with Thomas, she wanted it fully inside her, she deserved to have it fully inside her, and on the next downward thrust she pulled another two inches into her loving throat as she kissed the base. This was everything she imagined devouring stallion meat would be and then some. However, while she savored every inch of the mighty member entering her mouth and the way Luna threw her head back in bliss, she couldn’t help but feel like there was something missing.
“Psst.”
Thomas jumped at the sudden interruption breaking him out of his hypnotized state at watching his new girlfriend suck off his old girlfriend’s penis. Miraculously he managed to cover his mouth so as not to interrupt the mares as he looked up at the griffon now standing beside him. “Y-yeah?” he whispered, still a little annoyed at being startled like that.
Talon smirked as she gestured back to the bed. “Take a look at that plot.”
Thomas followed the griffon’s line of sight. While his eyes initially fell on the unicorn fingering the alicorn and bobbing her mouth up and down her large cock, he caught sight of a movement that was just as alluring. Moonlight had bent over to press herself between Luna’s thighs, meaning her beautiful orange rump was held high in the air, waving about in a manner that could only be called inviting as her tail twitched and pussy winked with want. Looking back up at Talon, the griffon merely slapped his back and pushed him forward.
The new movement had also shaken Silver free of her trance. Princess Luna has a penis. That phrase repeated over and over in her mind for the last few minutes, followed intermittently by blinks refocusing her attention to the scene on the bed. Princess Luna has a penis, and I’m watching her receive oral. Nothing about this scene made any sense, but it was happening, so she couldn’t deny it. And now Thomas was getting involved… Wait. What?
Luna’s eyes opened when she sensed a change in the tension of the mattress. She looked past the mare that currently held more than half her mighty alicorn cock between her lips, past her wiggling rump, and over to the human who was approaching from behind. Seeing Talon wave from off to the side, Luna gestured with her eyes over towards the stupefied mare in a maid dress. Returning her attention to the human, away from the predator spotting her new prey, the way he was unable to decide whether to look at the swaying plot or the half swallowed penis, Luna had to suppress a coo at how cute he looked. However, if there were doubts, she needed to give him certainty. “Oh Moony,” she sang teasingly.
Moonlight looked up from her task and saw that Luna was looking past her. Keeping the shaft greedily within her cheeks, she followed the alicorn’s line of sight until she saw Thomas, her stallion, approaching from behind, his own gaze torn between her and her swaying plot. More so, she saw that his little stallion was standing at attention and moaned anxiously around the dick in her mouth.
“Fair Moony,” Luna sang again. “It appears that a stallion approaches thee from behind. Why, if we did not know better, we would suspect that he intends to ravage thy plot with a merciless lust. What say thee to this?”
Moonlight moaned longingly around Luna’s shaft as it sank deeper into her mouth, her eyes unable to leave the glass-eyed human. She’d been asked a question, but her mouth was too occupied. Instead, she slung her tail over to the side to leave his view completely unobstructed.
Thomas slapped his hands onto both of Moonlight’s cutie marks, eliciting a joyful whimper from the mare at having such sensitive spots touched so callously. He kneaded the soft yet toned flesh of the guard’s flanks in hand, taking her continued moaning as a sign to continue. Using her flanks as leverage, he lowered his head down until he was at eye level with her winking pussy and pink tail hole. While her tail was pulled off to the side, the end was mercilessly swatting him with the might of a feather duster, pleading for him not to stop. Deciding he’d tortured her enough, he pressed his lips into hers.
Moonlight let out a prolonged moan around Luna’s dick as she felt Thomas’ tongue prod her virgin (by pony standards) marehood. This was also something she and past fillyfriends had done, but the mere idea that the one tasting her now was a stallion, her stallion, was just too much. She clenched her rear around his face, but he was not perturbed and pressed his tongue in deeper until he found her clit and gave it an experimental flick.
Taking her actions as a sign of encouragement, Thomas deepened his kiss. The lewd sounds she made as he sucked on her clit were making his erect manhood ache. He pressed on, knowing full well that even the idea of having a male using his mouth like this must have been painfully arousing. Based on the way her folds twitched, she was likely close. Eager to return the favor from earlier, Thomas sucked and caressed her clit all the harder until a torrent of vanilla flavored juices flooded from her slit into his awaiting mouth.
“G-goodness *ngh*,” Luna moaned as Moonlight’s body shuddered in orgasm. “It seems our instincts were *huh huh* correct. This stallion does indeed have a wicked lust about him, and a hungry one at that.” She laughed. “But *ngh* we wonder. Is he wicked enough to lay his claim on thy marehood, marking himself as hers and her as his?”
In answer, Thomas parted from his kiss with Moonlight’s pussy, causing her to whimper in disappointment at the loss of his touch. Her body was still tense and ready for more. Smacking his lips as he savored the aftertaste of her juices, the human positioned his hips until the length of his cock rested between her butt cheeks. Lazily he pushed back and forth between her plump cheeks, teasing her with what was to come as he took in the scope of her back. It wasn’t as immense as Luna’s but it still meant that her horn and ears were out of reach. He positioned himself again, only this time so that the head of his cock was just barely touching her lower lips. “What do ya say, Moony?” Thomas teased as he clenched his grip on her cutie marks while admiring her perfect rump cheeks. “Ready to become my mare?”
Frustrated at being teased for so long, Moonlight lit her horn, casting an aura of magic upon Thomas’ behind, and pressed him forward. However, his cock barely made it past the head before the sensation of a real life stallion, not just a toy, entering her marehood was too much and she lost focus on her magic. Her marehood was already so slick that its guest slid forward a few more centimeters from momentum alone. Even his torso flew forward a bit until his stomach and chest now rested on her tail bone and lower back. This was it. After all these years, she’d found a stallion of her very own to throw his full weight onto her back and mount her. She was being mounted from the back, and also the front.
This realization drove the mare to the breaking point as she took the full remaining length of Luna’s stallion meat into her mouth, causing the alicorn to finally climax into Moonlight’s esophagus. The unicorn swallowed reflexively, but the head of Luna’s cock was already so far down her throat that not a single drop was allowed to touch her tongue. While this fact saddened her, the continued sensation of Luna spraying down her throat like a hose while Thomas filled her empty marehood more than made up for it.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize what Luna had done, but Thomas would not be distracted so easily. He had to bring the unicorn, his unicorn, to orgasm again. This was a thing that the human knew had to be done. Moonlight was so much tighter than Luna and he loved the way her walls gripped and pulsed around him. He began pulling out, only to slam back in even further. Despite the tightness, she was so slick that it didn’t take him long before his balls were now slapping the inside of her thighs as he fully sheathed himself inside her. He leaned forward and began planting kisses along her spine.
Moonlight choked and gasped a little as Luna removed her immense girth from the unicorn mare’s throat with a slick plop. For whatever reason, mares’ gag reflexes were blessedly rigged so that they effectively shut down when asked to make way for a stallion’s penis. Said reflexes kicked back in immediately after, though. While Moonlight found her breath, she was rewarded with the last few drops of salty treat left by Luna’s cock before it vanished before her eyes, leaving her to rest her chin in a small puddle of Luna’s mare juices.
However, most of these details were lost on her as she was still being mounted, Thomas’ stallionhood touching every inch of her insides within its reach while his tender kisses lined her spine. Not wanting to be a passive buck toy, Moonlight propped herself on her elbows and began bucking her hips back in time with her stallion’s rhythm. This was her first real mounting and she wanted to make it a memorable one as she slammed her flank into his hips and relished the feeling of fullness he provided.
Thomas had been feeling a stirring in his balls for some time, but had managed to hold it back. He was ready to cum any second, but scolded himself for even considering releasing his load before Moonlight reached her apex. However, that didn’t last long as he soon felt the mare’s pussy begin twitching around his cock. Still pistoning in her, Thomas did his best to read the signals of her body, trying to get the timing just right. Just then, Moonlight bucked her hips backward with more force than before and Thomas fell forward. Her pussy had clamped shut around his shaft, halting his movement. Moonlight threw back her head with a cry of joy as she felt her stallion empty his balls inside her, filling her up in a way that put all coolers to shame. Both mare and man gasped and grunted as they climaxed, only to fall into a heap of sweaty flesh and fur.
Luna’s breathing quickly evened out as she watched the pair who had been working diligently between her legs collapse into the bed sheets. Moonlight’s head now rested in Luna’s lap while Thomas, still sheathed inside his unicorn, let his torso fall limply along her back and side. It had been disappointing that they couldn’t all climax at the same time, but that was something they could work on later, together. Using her magic, Luna gently levitated their conjoined bodies up until both their heads were resting in her lap. She ran her fingers lovingly through their disheveled manes, enjoying the difference in texture as their breathing calmed.
Thomas was the first to recover, though he still relished in the afterglow and touch of both his lovers. He brought his arm up the unicorn’s side, gently caressing the toned muscles beneath her soft fur, until his digits rested on her cheek. Unable to resist, he began scratching under her jaw, causing her to squirm at the ticklish sensation.
“Stoooooop,” the unicorn whined through smiling lips.
“No.”
“Please?”
“Make me,” Thomas challenged. Moonlight reciprocated by craning her head and nipping at his fingers. “Cheater,” he scolded.
“You never said it was against the rules, so you can’t complain.”
“She has you there,” Luna interjected, causing her lovers to look up into her loving eyes. “You really should have explained the rules at the start of the game.”
“I guess I’ll defer to your expertise in this sort of thing,” Thomas chuckled as he wrapped his hand around Moonlight’s stomach. Her fur was warm and a little sweaty but he didn’t mind. She didn’t either as she wrapped her arm around his to hold him in place.
“Tell me, Moony,” Luna began as she maneuvered her fingers behind the mare’s ear. “How was thy first time?”
“It was amazing. I’ve… never felt so full bef-” *urp* Moonlight belched softly. “Pardon,” she said in embarrassment, but Thomas just tightened his grip around her middle.
Luna giggled. “Perfectly fine. In fact, centuries ago, that was a sign that one enjoyed their meal.”
“Well…” Moonlight sighed. “I did do-oh!” she yelped as she felt Thomas begin grinding his hips against her backside. He was still flaccid, but the feeling of his member pushing and pulling inside her still felt wonderful.
“Ya like this?” Thomas asked coyly.
“I think I could fall asleep to this.” Moonlight admitted as she grinded right back. It was the truth. Despite the arousing smells threatening to excite her once more, the gentle caress of Luna and Thomas, combined with her exhaustion, might very well send her to sleep any minute.
“Falling asleep on duty?” *tsk tsk tsk* Came a gentle scolding from the side of the bed. The three bedmates looked up to see Talon walking up to them, panting and with a wobble in her step. “For shame.”
“What happened to you?” Thomas asked before seeing the disheveled mane on Silver rise up from behind the griffon.
“Just playing a little game,” Talon exhaled as she sat down on the side of the bed and laid down over Luna’s leg. “Things got a bit rough.” She chuckled as she looked up at Luna. “Think you can get me some water?”
Luna smiled and lit her horn. The door to the bathroom opened and out floated four large cups of water which levitated in front of the non-alicorns. Talon was the first to snatch hers out of the air and chug it down with only a few gulps. With much groaning at having to leave this comfortable position, Moonlight and Thomas pulled themselves up and grabbed their own cups, while still remaining connected, and also drank. Silver was much more discreet and drank the quietest.
“Ahh,” Talon gasped. “You might want to get some iced water on standby the next time you want to try something like this.”
“A fair suggestion,” Luna nodded before looking past the griffon. “Silver Bell.”
“Y-yes, Princess!” Despite her exhaustion, the small bat pony still managed to spring to attention, revealing just how badly both her and her dress could use a good washing.
“You did well.” Just three words, three little words spoken with such love and affection, were all it took to drive Silver over the edge and she passed out. Thankfully Luna was able to catch her with her magic before the poor thing hurt herself and set her down gently.
“Is she…” Thomas began worriedly.
“Nah.” Talon dismissed. “Look at her smile.” She instructed, pointing at the ear-to-ear grin on the mare’s face. “Might have worked her over a bit too much today, but she’ll get used to it.”
“Indeed.” Luna nodded as she levitated a blanket over the unconscious mare. “But onto the matter at hand, dearest Thomas.” She grinned. “What do you think about Lady Moonlight’s endeavors at courting you?”
“I’m… not really a lady,” Moonlight added sheepishly.
“Quiet, you,” Talon gently scolded. “Your stallion has something to say.”
Thomas pressed himself further into Moonlight’s back as he buried his head in her mane. He felt her tense at the sudden pressure, but she quickly relaxed into it. He looked up to find her staring at him out of the corner of her eye, anxiously awaiting her answer. “I think it worked.”
“Your very first stallion and you won him over in a single night,” Luna said proudly. “That’s quite the impressive feat.”
Well, it wasn’t exactly a single night. Thomas thought, but decided now might not be the best time to be a smartass. However, there was something else he wanted to comment on. “Was I really your first?”
Moonlight pressed her backside firmer into Thomas’ pelvis. “My very first stallion. Why do you ask?”
Alright. Probably safe to say there’s no virginity taboo, but I can ask that at a less awkward time. “It’s just I was always told that a woman’s first time was supposed to be… painful.”
“Not necessarily,” Luna explained. “Do you know what a cooler is?”
Thomas blinked up at her. “I want to say a box that keeps your drinks cold, but that’s probably not what you mean.”
The females giggled as Luna continued. “It is a tool which, as the name implies, cools a mare’s heat. While in this state, a mare can get exceptionally agitated if she doesn’t have access to a stallion.” Luna’s horn lit and the magic floated out in front of her until it manifested into the shape of a stallion’s penis, complete with ropes in the back, along with a switch attached to a string. “When a mare experiences heat in such a condition, she will seek out another to don the cooler, shaped as you see, in order to simulate the sensation of being rutted, complete with a spray of water to trick the body into thinking a stallion has climaxed inside her.”
Thomas listened carefully to Luna’s clinical lecture, but also looked to the other females. Their expressions were entirely unfazed. No snickers at dirty jokes or looks of shame at the implication of doing it with another mare because of an inability to find a stallion. This was all just a perfectly normal and mundane aspect of Equestrian life.
“Sometimes when a filly experiences her first heat, she is able to find a colt or stallion willing to satisfy her, but this is rare,” Luna continued. “Usually she will seek out aid from any of her filly friends or family members for her first time. Either way, by colt or cooler, the first time is indeed rather painful as the hymen is breached. However, it is an inevitability which all young fillies are warned to expect.”
“I’ve been asking my mare friends to help me out all these years,” Moonlight added, assuming that her sisters’ inclusion was implied. “But I never really imagined how much I’d been missing out by not getting the real thing. Although… I’m glad you were my first,” she smiled over her shoulder.
“Me too.” Thomas tightened his grip around her stomach and smiled back. “You know, for humans it’s actually expected for the man and woman to save their first time until they, well, find the one.”
Moonlight frowned at this. “How do human mares not go crazy in their heats?”
“I’m pretty sure they’re not as bad as yours,” Thomas replied. “Our women actually become fertile about once a month, but they’re not really driven all that crazy…” he trailed off. “Although, the thing that comes after that can be a bit of an issue sometimes.”
“Once a month?” Talon gawked.
“How do you not overpopulate?” Moonlight asked.
“Well, we kinda are. We have a bunch of birth control methods,” he deliberately avoided bringing up abortion and its baggage, “but we usually have to be a lot more careful about, ya know, doing it. There’s even still a bit of a stigma about having sex before marriage,” Thomas concluded to a chorus of stunned silence.
“Now, now, ladies,” Luna gently set her hands on their shoulders. “While his customs may seem strange to us, it would be impolite to pass judgment just because he’s different.”
Thomas frowned at Luna’s attempt at diplomacy. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Means that females of pretty much all kinds of people in this part of the world don’t go into heat more than twice a year. Not to mention that we usually lose our virginity after the first time.” Talon explained. “Putting a stigma on what comes natural is just… it’s weird.”
“Huh,” he sighed. What they’re saying makes a kind of sense. It wasn’t all that long ago that human cultures married off their kids pretty much the instant they hit puberty, sometimes sooner. Plus, since they don’t become receptive nearly as often, it makes sense that there’s less of a stigma.
“Either way, guess you won’t be needing my help after all,” Talon added.
“Help?” Thomas asked.
“Cooling her off,” Talon clarified. “We were having some drinks a while back and I agreed to help cool her off for her next heat. Now that she has a stallion of her own, I guess I’m not needed.”
“Not for cooling,” Moonlight corrected suggestively. “But there are other… things you could help with.”
Talon raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What did you have in mind?”
Moonlight blushed and pressed the side of her face into Luna’s stomach. “Can… can we talk about it later?” She asked with a hint of embarrassment.
The griffon grinned. “Sure, but whatever it is, I’m pretty sure these two are going to figure it out eventually.”
“Eventually, perhaps,” Luna interjected. “But for now, there are matters of some import which we must discuss; matters pertaining to what has transpired and the dynamics of the harem.”
At Luna’s beckoning, the four sat cross legged in a circle on the bed with Luna at the head, Talon to her right, Moonlight to her left, and Thomas directly across. Deciding that Silver’s snoring was a distraction, Luna promptly teleported the mare to her room. Moonlight kept shifting around at losing the comfortable fullness Thomas had been providing. She was sadder than him when they realized he’d have to pull out, much to Talon’s amusement. Once settled, all eyes fell on Luna, who let out an exasperated sigh.
“Do you recall my explanations on the dynamic of the harem?” Luna asked to the nodding of the others. “Well, I’m afraid there are further complexities.”
“Oh joy,” Thomas deadpanned.
“Preaching to the choir on that one.” Talon rolled her eyes.
“As I had said, the nature of the harem is effectively a herd in all but name. However, to clarify, it is actually regarded as a grouping of stabled ponies.”
“As in what Talon is?” Thomas inquired. “On loan?”
“Indeed,” Luna nodded as she continued. She explained that for the sake of appearances, ponies within the harem were encouraged to return home to their legally recognized herds at the end of their sessions. In Thomas’ case, this meant that he would now be considered a member of Moonlight’s herd and stabled with Luna. Talon took great amusement in adding how he now had to answer to two lead mares instead of just one.
Thomas turned to look out the window and glowered at the city. “This whole thing is just so convoluted,” he snorted. “Guess politics ruining everything really is universal.”
“Tis not as bad as it sounds,” Luna assured. “In the end, all it really amounts to is an obligation to satisfy the mares in both your herds.”
Moonlight swatted the human’s back with her tail, causing him to look over and see her smile. The way she playfully batted her blue eyes at him caused all negativity to vanish, though he kept his expression stern. “So, for the sake of appeasing stuffy bureaucrats and a thousand year old law, I have to stick my dick into the amazing pussies of the two sexiest mares I’ve ever met, both of whom I have grown rather fond of these last few months,” the mares in question blushed at this bit, “and pound away on their plots until I make them moan in delight?” He asked while maintaining an even tone.
“Alas, tis the duty of the concubine to carry such a burden,” Luna bemoaned convincingly.
Ignoring Talon’s subdued snickers, Thomas gave his best exasperated sigh, followed by pulling his arm up and placing his fist over his chest. “Then for the good of Equestria and its people, I have no choice but to carry out this duty.”
Luna’s serious façade cracked as she let out a light chuckle. “The kingdom is lucky to have such an honorable and selfless stallion at its service.”
“Pussies?” Moonlight asked. “I mean, that was cute and all,” she blushed. “But…”
“It is one of the words humans use to describe female genitalia,” Luna clarified.
“A human’s marehood is named after a cat?” Moonlight asked in disbelief before looking over at Thomas. “Is there… some… comparison?”
“Not really. No,” Thomas chuckled as he shook his head. “Also, we sometimes call a penis a cock, like griffons do.”
“Well at least that makes sense,” Talon added as she squirmed on a dry section of the sheets. “Now that we’ve got the bad news out of the way, let’s get on to the good news,” she demanded eagerly.
“The bad news was that I’m now herded with Moonlight?” Thomas asked incredulously.
“Perhaps a better choice of wording was called for, but Lady Tali is correct that there is more,” Luna said as the group went still, save for Moonlight’s continued merciless pelting of her tail against a human who was trying desperately to look less amused than he was. “Dearest Thomas. Per chance, have you been wondering why you suddenly feel so comfortable around Moony?”
Thomas looked over at the orange unicorn in question and frowned. “Come to think of it, a little, yeah.” He began to worry when her ears dropped a little and her tail became lifeless. “That is, I’m really happy about it but… I don’t know,” he lamented, averting his eyes. “I’ve… I’ve never really been able to connect like this with anyone before, especially not that quickly. I thought it was weird at the time, but I guess I just accepted it as a good kind of weird, ya know? Frankly,” he regarded Moonlight affectionately, “it kind of feels like you’re an old friend or something; like someone I liked a long time ago, so it’s like we’re just catching up now,” He set his hand encouragingly on her knee as he stared into her eyes.
Moonlight moved her hand to grasp his. “I feel the same.”
The Princess of the Night grinned in gratitude at her lover’s confession, but could sense the lingering question. “A most fitting analogy, but you still wonder what makes us different from your past experiences, yes?” At his nod, she continued. “This is not a state secret, but there’s really no need to go around bragging, understand?”
“I think I’m about to.” Thomas agreed.
“Indeed,” Luna nodded. “To start off, it is well known across Equestria that all life reincarnates.”
Thomas gave a small chuckle. “You know, I should probably be a lot more impressed by something like that, but I’m still way too mellow from all the sex right now.”
Luna smiled and continued. “When a pony, griffon, minotaur, or any other thinking creature dies, its soul moves onto a plane that acts as a holding area until they are ready to return to the mortal plain. My sister and I know this because, in our meditations, we have seen this plain and spoken with its denizens. This is where we learned to see the spirits that lay within the flesh. Usually souls show preference for a certain kind of body, meaning the soul of a griffon will most often be reborn as a griffon again. However, sometimes a soul will seek out new experiences and move into a new kind of body. Do you follow so far, my little human?”
Thomas chuckled at the use of his nickname, but nodded just the same. After as much exposure to reincarnation in fiction as he had, he suspected he knew where this was going. “I’m the reincarnation of a pony, aren’t I?”
“No,” Luna said flatly. “I thought you were, but you are not.”
The human blinked in shock, expecting the conversation to go the other way. “What?”
“There is more to be clarified.” Luna paused and turned to Moonlight. “The first time we met, Moony, your name was Bronze Aura.”
“Bronze Aura?” Thomas furrowed his brow in contemplation. The name was familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. “Bronze Aura. Bronze Aura. Bronze…” He looked up at Luna with eyes wide in shock. “That Bronze Aura?”
“Who’s Bronze Aura?” Moonlight asked, impressed, but not terribly awed by this revelation.
“The stallion from her first herd,” a flabbergasted Thomas answered.
Luna nodded with a warm smile. “We have known each other for your lifetimes, little Moony. But even back when you were my first stallion, I knew that you would forever be my special somepony.”
“That’s where it comes from, ya know,” Talon interjected, tired of listening in silence. At Luna’s approval, she continued. “Special somepony actually came from the Princesses when they saw that ponies, griffons, or whatever who were really in love in one life tended to be together in later lives.”
“Love is a thing that transcends life, death, and even race,” Luna said with a wisdom and depth that showed her age and made the others shudder. “It was actually Celestia who coined the term, but that part has been lost to the ages. But once the idea became known, it became increasingly popular for all ponies to declare their herd-mates as their special someponies, whether it was true or not. As the gesture was born out of genuine affection, neither my sister nor I saw the need to correct them.”
“And that’s how the harems have pretty much worked ever since.” Talon picked up. “Whenever they find someone they used to know, they invite them to the castle, just like how Leste pretty much had me pegged the moment she saw me.” She snickered. “I tapped that flank in a past life and she wanted me to do it again in this one.”
“But sometimes we are unable to find any of our special someponies, even for decades at a time,” Luna lamented. “So to quell our need for affection, Tia suggested the creation of an attendant position as a trial system. Often we find ponies we like well enough, but on the rarest occasion we find new special someponies. This is why the harems have been steadily growing over the centuries.”
“Like me?” Thomas cautiously asked.
Luna smiled gently and set her hand on Thomas’ other knee. “Like you, my beloved little human.” The Princess leaned down and planted her lips on the human’s. It wasn’t an erotic kiss, but the affection being exchanged as Thomas leaned in was undeniable. Eventually they parted. “It saddens me that I could not tell the both of you sooner, but since my… return, my abilities have not been as profound as they once were and it is only recently that I am able to recognize any of you on my own. Though it is customary that we do not tell until new bonds form of their own accord, I apologize deeply for making you wait this long.”
Moonlight smiled affectionately. “It’s no trouble at all, Princess Moonbutt,” she giggled.
Luna shared in the laugh before letting her gaze fall on Thomas where it lingered uncertainly.
“Sorry, but I’m still really lost, here.” Thomas rubbed the side of his head. “If you’re still recovering, wouldn’t Celestia have been able to…”
“Instantly,” Luna answered with a soft chuckle. “At least, she thought she did.” The Princess reached out for Thomas’ chin, holding his face up as she studied his features. “You are a curiosity, my little human. Sister thought she recognized you, and even now I can’t help but sense some manner of familiarity, but neither of us can place who you were.”
Thomas swallowed uneasily. “Could you have, maybe, forgotten?”
Luna flinched back. “Alicorns are far from perfect, but it would be unconscionable to forget those we hold most dear to our hearts.” She shook her head. “No, dearest Thomas. For though you might seem familiar, and even your feelings of past kinship with Moonlight would normally be a clear indicator, I cannot say with any certainty if we ever knew one another in the past.”
Thomas nodded with a dower expression. “If harems are made up of past lovers, does that mean that I…”
Moonlight wrapped an arm around Thomas’ shoulder, pulling him into an embrace before he could finish that thought.
“It means that I love you,” Luna finished, pulling the both of them into her arms. “Though born of a misunderstanding, I swear to you that it matters not! I love you Thomas. I grew to love you because, despite your own doubts, you were willing to be there for me when I most needed somepony by my side, and in my bed,” she added under her breath. “You were there for me and I am ashamed that I could not have done more to be with you.”
Amidst the embrace of the powerful mares, they felt a stirring as the tiny human endeavored to wrap his arms around their large bodies. Each felt a new touch of wetness run down their bellies as they felt the human begin crying against them. They soon joined as the three lovers shared tears of joy. In time they parted, looking upon one another in a new light.
“So,” Thomas spoke first, feeling the need to fill the silence. “You guys used to be together in a past life?”
“Lives,” Luna corrected. “Be it as mare or stallion, we have always done what we could to look out for one another.” The Princess sighed contentedly. “While it has been painful to know so many lovers and watch them depart, Tia and I have taken solace in the knowledge that these departures are only temporary. And it has been our utmost privilege to meet those same wonderful ponies all over again, different minds and bodies, but the same wonderful beings we fell in love with the first time.”
“What’s the difference, you know, between regular love and the transcending life and death kind?” Thomas inquired, suspecting Moonlight was especially interested with the way her ears stood stiff.
Luna shrugged. “After all these millennia, even we alicorns cannot say for sure. What is the tangible difference between the love of a good friend and the love of one’s lover? Where did this other plane of existence come from? How is it that, despite predating our ascension to rule, my sister’s love of sweets has not caused her plot to blossom out until it is equal to that of the eldest dragon?”
The others put up only token resistance before descending into guffaws of laughter.
“The finest philosophers and theologists have spent countless lifetimes exploring these questions, but have yet to find any discernable answers,” Luna continued, doing her best to ward off her own chortles, but soon even she fell victim to the contagion.
“I think…” Thomas said between bouts of laughter. “I think I might know the last one.” The others quieted down, though still unable to stop smiling, as they eagerly awaited his theory. “Celestia’s plot actually got so big that it imploded and retroactively reverted to a more manageable size.”
While Talon and Moonlight renewed their guffaws, Luna threw her head back and drowned them out as she howled in glee. “That…” she gasped. Eventually she found her breath as her expression of mirth turned to one of serious contemplation. “That… that… that almost makes sense.”
Later that evening, the four lovers made their way to the dining hall for dinner. Thomas and Talon wore their uniforms and took their seats on Luna’s side of the table. Moonlight, who had redressed in her armor, was asked very politely, the sort of politeness that implied one didn’t have the option to refuse, to remove her helmet and sit with them. All eyes shifted in anticipation between Luna, her harem, and the long-lost newcomer until Luna decided she’d made them wait long enough.
The cheers and hoots from the other concubines at the announcement of Moonlight formally courting with Thomas were almost deafening. Even Silver looked pleased. When asked if Moonlight would soon be donning the uniform, it was explained that they’d decided she would stay in the guard as Thomas’ protector. The former had been her dream after all, and the latter was just an extension of her marely duties to her stallion. It just so happened that now, in addition to her duty coming whenever the Princess ordered, she would now have to cum whenever the Princess ordered, which everyone agreed was a fair compromise.
After dinner, they all retired to Luna’s chambers.
The next evening, or rather morning from the perspective of the nocturnal weirdos in Luna’s bed, Thomas had to claw his way out of a compact pile of bodies just to escape their ruthless heat. Talon moaned when he’d accidentally grabbed her boob and pressed her beak harder into his shoulder, leaving him to wonder if her kisses were from a dream or perhaps out of muscle memory. The way Moonlight was grinding her butt against him suggested that she’d likely want some special attention once she awoke. Thomas looked to his right to find both mares intertwined with each other and, after craning his head for a better look, confirmed that Luna’s cock was still firmly enveloped by Moonlight’s pussy. Thomas let his eyes linger on the mares’ conjoined genitals.
Weird, Thomas thought ambivalently. The concept was hardly new to him. He’d been secretly wondering about it ever since Luna brought it up a while back. But seeing it now, and the night prior, though its immense size made him feel a little inadequate, the strangest part of it all was just how unbothered he felt about it. There were no testicles, and the feminine form attached to it left no doubt that he was still the only male in the bed. Maybe I’m not bothered because it’s Luna? He then imagined what Moonlight or Talon would look like with such an appendage, and found he still didn’t mind, only to grin at a new thought. Maybe I’m just becoming a perv?
“See something you like?” Luna asked, fluttering her eyelids at him.
While initially startled, Thomas relaxed upon realizing that he’d simply been caught off guard by one of Luna’s early rises, again. “Just… just trying to wrap my head around the idea that the Princess of the Night has a dick.”
Luna chuckled lazily. “Indeed. We imagine this to be quite the startling revelation.”
Thomas decided not to correct Luna’s speech just yet and focus on what was important, that thing gently churning in Moonlight’s vagina. “You said a while back that you use magic to give yourself that, right? I mean, it’s not a thing you’ve always had and just keep hidden, right?” He asked, recalling a certain popular hypothetical in some clop fics.
“Would it bother you if the answer was yes?”
“I… Huh. Good question.” Thomas considered. Picturing how it looked last night, how it dwarfed his own cock along with any other stallion’s he’d yet seen, Thomas then imagined another male, one he got along with well enough thrown into the mix. Red Amber seemed like a good option. Definitely not gay. He thought with relief at the lack of any physical reaction. And while she already said she’s not going to force me into anything like that, I guess I don’t have a problem watching. He looked back at the mare’s currently hilted stallionhood in the other mare’s marehood. “I… no. It’s still a little wei-unexpected,” he corrected quickly, “but you’re still my mare.”
“I am happy to hear that,” Luna sighed as she absentmindedly ran her fingers through Moonlight’s mane. “But you are correct. Tis merely a construct of magic; one which a certain mare seems to appreciate quite adamantly.”
“Glad to hear it,” Thomas said as he began scratching behind Moonlight’s ears and smiled when she leaned into his hand. Right now, he was just happy that she was happy.
“Hey,” Talon wined as she pulled herself up beside Thomas. “What about me?”
“Oh? You got an itch that needs scratching too?” Thomas asked playfully as he offered his hand.
Talon pouted and batted his hand away. “Just wondering why the new girl’s getting all the attention. I’ve only been here a few weeks, so where’s my ‘new girl’ attention?” Her answer came when Thomas snaked his hand behind her head and began massaging her scalp, causing her to purr like a cat.
“Never heard you purr before,” Thomas noted as he tried to coordinate his hands on both females’ heads, making sure to keep the motions just as each one seemed to like just as he once did with his old dogs. “It’s cute, like a little...”
“If you say kitten,” Talon cut him off as she leaned into his hand, “I’ll remind you of my lion heritage.”
Thomas might have been a bit groggy, but not so much that he was willing to tempt fate. “Fine. You’re purring like a sexy beast.”
“Better,” Talon said flatly as she rotated her head around for the human to start rubbing new areas.
In time, Moonlight was eventually brought back to the world of the living, scolding herself for sleeping in; to which Luna playfully apologized for having such comfortable and sleep-inducing boobies. As a newly herded mare, or rather a mare in the early stages of courting, she took to the task of relieving Thomas’ morning wood with much vigor while Luna and Talon tended to each other. Silver had the night off, allowing them to move at a more casual pace. The bathroom was more crowded than ever as the human was left feeling like the runt of the litter trying to push back the larger females for his turn. With their morning routines completed, Moonlight was pleased to find her armor had been polished and set out for her, something Luna also took credit for as she raised the moon.
“Won’t this cause problems with the other guards?” Thomas asked as he pulled his loincloth up. “I mean, won’t the others think you’re getting special treatment or something?”
“Of course she’s getting special treatment,” Talon scoffed. “The mare got to swallow the Princess’ penis last night, in two holes. Granted, they don’t know about that specifically, but I imagine they’d all agree that whatever’s going on must be pretty special.”
“I meant with promotions and stuff,” Thomas corrected. “Like, won’t they think she’s getting better treatment outside the bedroom because of what she’s doing in it?” He paused as a new thought came to him. “Ponies do get suspicious of their leaders showing favoritism, don’t they?”
Moonlight’s ears stood at attention as her body visibly tensed. Apparently this was not something she’d considered until now and was very interested to know.
“Don’t worry, chimp,” Talon waved her claw. “I knew what you were talking about, but I doubt there’ll be any issue.”
“He has a point, though,” Moonlight commented anxiously. “I don’t want any special treatment. My mother worked her way through the military through her own merits and I want to do the same. I don’t want anypony treating me any differently because of who I’m courting.” She flashed Thomas a soft smile. “So how do you know for sure this won’t happen?”
“Because you shall tell them,” Luna said casually as she used her magic to dress herself. “This night, as you escort dearest Thomas about the castle, you shall seek out friends among the guard and give them the good news that you are now herded with the Senior Concubine of Luna’s Harem. If they have any concerns, simply point out the impeccable record of Sir Captain Shining Armor.”
Moonlight’s face brightened. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Someone want to clue me in?” Thomas inquired.
As it turns out, Equestria was almost entirely a meritocracy. There was the occasional scandal involving the nobility, but the military and castle staff had an almost flawless record. None exemplified this better than Captain Shining Armor as he was universally trusted amongst the guard and even a good portion of the aristocracy. With him at the helm, the notion of the corruption Moonlight feared being accused of was almost laughable. With this in mind, after breakfast, the trio set out to their task. Thankfully, considering the relative smallness of the night guard and especially Luna’s House Guard, they didn’t have far to go.
Moonlight waved over a group of conversing naked ponies on the sparring field and quickly gave them the news, minus the parts about Celestia’s interference or Luna’s penis. There were congratulations all around without even a hint of resentment; save for the few bits that changed hands. Apparently she had been talking about the human with her friends for so long, and her feelings so obvious, that they’d opened a bet on how long until she came to terms with her feelings and decided to get serious. Needless to say, as the coins dropped into her claws, Talon couldn’t have been more pleased with herself at recouping her losses.
The blushing mare was quite cordial as she accepted the handshakes, back slaps, and suggestions on how to keep her stallion happy, but Thomas wasn’t doing nearly as well. He recognized the faces of all these ponies, but had never bothered to learn their names, save for Blade Grace who he recognized from Nightmare Night. Even when Moonlight reminded him of the times she’d talked about them, his mind was still fuzzy on the details. Not to mention the way these large, smelly, and half naked ponies were crowding around him was making him especially uncomfortable.
“You doing alright, little guy?” A red unicorn mare asked.
More questions of concern came, but while Thomas dismissed them all, assuring the others that he was fine, Moonlight was not so easily convinced. Noticing his sudden tenseness almost as soon as it began, she decided to guide him away to a quieter area, leaving Talon to keep the guards entertained.
“Sorry,” Thomas whispered as he averted his eyes.
“Don’t be,” Moonlight smiled sympathetically as she set her hand on his shoulder. “I should have been more considerate of your feelings. Even ignoring what you said yesterday about your anxieties, we’ve been together long enough for me to know what bothers you. I should have warned them not to be so forceful, but it’s alright now.”
“Is it?” Thomas asked as he slowly lifted his head to meet Moonlight’s blue eyes. “Is it really?”
Moonlight blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Is… is it really alright that you have to walk on eggshells around me?”
Moonlight just stared back at him, sensing he had more to say.
“I mean, even after hearing all that stuff last night about these stupid problems I have, problems that’ll probably never go away…” he hesitated. “And we just agreed to being herded so quickly last night,” he chuckled. “Is that normal? Do you really think you could…” but he was cut off as a pair of soft lips blocked his words.
When Moonlight pulled back and stood to her full height, she smiled down at him. “You really are a stupid colt if you think I’m petty enough to let something like that get under my fur.”
“Moonlight?”
“Everypony has problems. Just look at me. I get struck by indecision at the worst of times. You might not have seen it that much, but,” she averted her gaze, “it very well might cost me a lot of promotions in the future. I was even held back in the academy for making a few too many really dumb mistakes.”
Now it was Thomas’ turn to stay silent as he heard his mare out.
“But its fine,” she smiled contentedly. “My mom used to say that part of the fun of life was overcoming these little obstacles. Besides,” she moved to his side and swatted his rear with her tail, “I’d hardly call spending all day with my favorite human to be much of a drawback.”
Thomas beamed up at the mare and took her hand in his. “Have I told you lately that you’re awesome?”
“You could stand to say it more often, my little human,” she tittered. “However, if I fail a test because you gave me buck brain, I will hold you personally accountable,” she added sternly.
“I cannot think of a way to argue that,” Thomas declared proudly. Not to stereotype, but what kind of man would I be if I actually toned down my sexual prowess?
“You guys done yet?” One of the stallions called from over Talon’s shoulder.
Upon their return to the group, Moonlight informed the others to go easy on Thomas because of his shyness, as she so gently put it, and they gave him a much more comfortable level of space. Even so, they still tried to pry answers out of him, but most were content to direct their questions at either Moonlight or Talon. To the human’s chagrin, most of their questions seemed to be about human anatomy, particularly of a certain area below the belt.
“So how big is he, really?” The red unicorn he remembered as Quick Strike asked. Apparently genitalia were not on the list of topics one avoided when trying not to embarrass someone. “And what about a sheath?”
“I’m a little curious about the shape.” The tall and muscular Sturdy Spear added, glancing down between Thomas’ loincloth and his own commando groin.
“Does this really need to be talked about?” Thomas pleaded.
“Can’t blame a pony for being a little curious.” Quick shrugged innocently. “I mean, you’re the first human we’ve ever seen, and you always keep that part covered, almost like you’ve got something to hide.” She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
Before Thomas could reply with another whine, Talon bumped his shoulder and bobbed her eyebrows encouragingly. Thomas took the hint to try and make a better impression among his girlfriend’s friends. “Well,” he folded his arms in thoughtful contemplation. “A certain indigo mare treats it like a treasure, but I never thought about it as a national secret.”
There was an uproar as the guard ponies threw their heads back in laughter, all save the bat mare Blade Grace, who covered her mouth to stifle her amusement. Moonlight and Talon gave him approving nods as they tittered. Conversation flowed much smoother after that as they agreed to lay off such personal questions. Eyes wandered naturally from speaker to speaker, but every now and then Thomas noticed a certain light gray bat mare avert her gaze whenever he looked her way.
“So where will you guys be sleeping?” Asked a dark purple stallion named Lavender Crush. “You keeping your room in the barracks? Because I know where I’d wanna be,” he said as his eyes roamed over Thomas’ body before glancing up at the Lunar Wing of the castle.
Moonlight frowned as she considered this. “Well, since we’ve only just started courting, it might be a little too soon to think of permanent sleeping arrangements, though I suppose I should give my stallion his own bed to return to after a hard night’s work,” she said with a straight face, but that didn’t stop the others from laughing at the obvious joke.
A hard night’s work with one lover only to be followed by even more work with another. Damn. I’m not gonna get any rest anymore. That said, it is a valid question. Thomas considered before looking up at Moonlight. “I could alternate. Plus your room seems big enough for the two of us.”
“He’s got a point,” Talon offered. “Since I’m here, the little guy’s got a bit more slack to work with, not to mention Silver’s doing pretty well.”
“By slack, do you mean her breasts or her flanks?” Asked Quick. “Cause both seem pretty tight from where I stand.”
“Take your pick,” Talon shrugged nonchalantly before striking a pose, not missing a beat.
“Of course Silver is doing well,” Grace boasted. “She’s an heir to House Bell, after all.”
“I call her sweet wings,” Talon interjected. “She likes it well enough.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Grace beamed. “She made quite the impression at the Masquerade and I found her an utter delight.” She directed her attention onto Thomas. “Out of curiosity, how would you say she’s progressing in her application?”
“And here we go.” Quick rolled her eyes irately.
“What?” Grace snapped.
Moonlight knew where this was going and quickly intervened, not in the mood for these two having their usual spat over bat pony culture in front of her new coltfriend. “She’s doing well, actually.”
Grace turned to Moonlight, clearly surprised that the guard was the one to answer. “Oh? And how would you know?”
Picking up on Moonlight’s nervousness at not wanting to say, Thomas took his turn. “We were actually just talking about it yesterday,” he began, noticing the way Grace seemed to focus that much more intently when he spoke, but unable to place her exact look. “And it seems Luna’s really taken a shine to her.” I’m betting they don’t need to know the particulars about the reincarnation thing.
“What a delightful turn of events.” Grace beamed all the brighter, not noticing how Quick was readying some snarky comeback. “Although…” she trailed off, her gaze lingering questioningly on Moonlight.
“Yes?”
“I just wanted to know if you were still up for cooling me off,” Grace reminded gently.
“Naturally,” Moonlight answered without hesitation.
“Y-you mean it?” Grace asked. Her ears were perked and her tail was twitching in excitement.
“What kind of a friend would I be if I just backed out of a deal like that?” Moonlight patted the bat mare on the shoulder.
“Cool off?” Thomas asked, only to recall at the last minute. “Oh, with a cooler, right?”
“Glad to see something’s sticking,” Talon chortled.
“But what about expansion?” Sturdy stepped up, trying to steer them back on topic before Quick decided to provoke Grace any further. “I know it might seem early, but it pays to plan ahead. Those rooms are just for the new recruits. Thomas might be small, but there’s no way they’d be able to handle a proper herd. You should really consider getting a house, or at least a decent apartment.”
“Say what?” Thomas asked in a voice too low to be heard.
“I’ve been thinking about that, but I’m not sure I can afford it,” Moonlight lamented.
“There are always economy apartments,” Lavender offered.
“Or you could ask your parents to put up a down payment on a decent house,” Quick chimed in. “Your folks are pretty well off, right?”
“Maybe economy, but I’d rather not bring my parents into this,” Moonlight answered. “I want to earn my own way, rather than rely on others for everything. Besides, this is really a discussion I should be having with my stallion.” She said as she looked down to meet Thomas’ confused glare. “Well, my stallion?”
Thomas blinked as his brain worked to catch up. “Sorry to show my ignorance, but just to clarify, we’re talking about expanding your herd, right?”
“Technically it’s our herd, but yes.”
“As separate from Luna’s harem?”
Moonlight gave a light chuckle as she realized they’d encountered another cultural misunderstanding. “Sorry for not making that clear, but yes. I am hoping to have a herd of my own, which you will be a part of as you stable with Princess Luna.” She smiled affectionately. “I think you’ve got enough love to share.”
As Moonlight explained to the others about Thomas’ reluctance to engage in a herd because of human’s cultural monogamy, Talon gripped the human’s shoulder and wordlessly asked what was on his mind. “So now, instead of the like ten ponies Luna wants for her harem, I’m gonna have to satisfy like four more?”
“Three to five,” Talon corrected as she nodded solemnly. “But yes. You’re gonna have to use your human cock to satisfy roughly fifteen pussies.”
“Cock?” “Where do cats come in to this?” Some of the other guards asked.
“Human words,” Talon explained. “They call a penis a cock and the vagina a pussy.”
…
“Why?” The guards asked as one.
“I guess humans are just weird like that,” the griffon shrugged and looked over at Moonlight. “You’re herded with a weirdo.”
“Hey!” Thomas stepped up. “You don’t get to talk about her like that.” He gestured at Moonlight. “That’s my job.” He pointed a thumb at himself in pride.
Moonlight beamed and lifted Thomas into a hug. “You are just too cute,” she emphasized by following up with a prolonged kiss on his cheek. The mares and stallions all cooed as the human gave some token resistance in Moonlight’s powerful arms, but his struggles were ultimately in vain and he surrendered. He didn’t even bother to add that griffons say ‘cock’ too.
“What about a token?” Sturdy asked neutrally. “Do you practice those?”
Moonlight lowered Thomas from her face, but kept her hold around his mid-section. “I don’t think so. My parents never exchanged tokens and their herd is just fine. What about you, Thomas? Do humans have tokens?”
“Tokens? You mean like rings?”
“It’s a bit of an older custom, but some still practice it. Do humans use tokens to, well, I guess you could say it’s to claim ownership?”
Thomas chuckled. “We have rings, but they go on the finger.”
“The finger?” Moonlight asked in mild surprise. “Well, I suppose it makes sense since you don’t have horns. But why not exchanged colored stones? Earth ponies exchange stones colored to their fur, right?” she addressed Sturdy who nodded. “Like earth ponies?”
“Human’s aren’t as colorful as ponies,” Thomas deadpanned. “We’ve only got like five colors, white, black, brown, red, yellow, and they’re a lot duller than any pony’s fur, so different colored stones wouldn’t do much.” His audience seemed displeased and he couldn’t exactly blame them. “It actually gets even more disappointing from there. Trust me.”
“No offense, but the human country doesn’t sound very pleasant.” Moonlight bemoaned.
“No argument here. For one thing, our women usually have to pay a lot of money for breasts as nice as yours,” he commented, causing Moonlight to blush.
After some final well wishes, the groups went their separate ways. Talon suggested they go find the on-duty guards next, only for both she and Thomas to get the call from Luna. It was an especially long lunch break, to which Moonlight was invited to join. Conversation was pleasant, but the meal was rushed. Once the last bite had been consumed, Luna proceeded to relieve the stress she’d accumulated in the few hours since they’d last seen one another, to which Moonlight was also invited. Talon did her best not to limp afterwards.
After their duties were fulfilled, Moonlight suggested they head back to her room in the barracks to relax and double check that it was suitable for the human to stay in, should he want to.
“So how is it?” Talon asked from one of the chairs as she faced the bed, grateful to no longer be putting pressure on her legs. Moonlight had removed her armor and was lying naked on her side over the covers. She was smiling contentedly as she felt a comfortable movement against her back. Using his hand on her waist for leverage, Thomas had to poke his head up from behind her large body to see over her. He spat out a few strands of her mane that got caught in his mouth.
“At least I fit,” he remarked dryly. It was awkward when he spooned with Luna like this too, but apparently she wasn’t lying when she said that mares just really like the feel of a stallion against their backs.
“I’ll bet you do,” Talon joked as her eyebrows danced suggestively.
“He fits fine,” Moonlight sighed as she continued grinding her rear into Thomas’ groin. “Mmmh. Perfect. This is how I always imagined being with my stallion would be.”
“Really?” Thomas asked in disbelief. “You always imagined you’d be grinding your butt into a mythical creature, after getting face fucked with the long lost Princess Luna’s dick, all while being watched by a perverted griffon?”
A pause followed.
“Well anything sounds odd when you say it with that attitude,” Talon remarked.
“Fucked?” Moonlight parroted. “You said that before. Is that another human word like cock and pussy?”
Thomas chuckled as he pressed the side of his face into Moonlight’s shoulder. “It means pretty much the same thing as buck.” He smirked. “Also, it’s actually an acronym for ‘fornicate under cardinal knowledge’.”
The prolonged silence was broken by Talon. “Humans have a lot of weird customs,” she said flatly. “I mean, what exactly is your people’s obsession with comparing animals and sex?”
“Animals?” inquired Thomas. “Oh. No. A cardinal is also the name for a kind of priest.”
Talon leered at the human as she decided against asking what business priests had with what others did in bed. “Any other animal comparisons?”
Thomas snickered as he rubbed his cheek against Moonlight’s fur as he glided his hand down her side. “Ass is another word for butt.”
“We have that word too,” Moonlight said plainly.
“Really? Isn’t that kind of racist? I mean, there are donkeys in Equestria, right?”
“Of course,” Talon smirked. “Where do you think the term came from? Jackasses aren’t exactly known for their manners.”
“Huh,” Thomas nodded in contemplation. Still sounds a bit racist, but I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. “We also call a guy who’s really good in bed a stallion.”
“Well at least that one makes sehhheeense!” Moonlight whimpered as the human began tracing his finger along the outline of her cutie mark, trying to follow the same path Luna had traced earlier. She looked over her shoulder and gave her most pleading pouty face. “Why are you so mean to me?”
“Could be worse,” he shrugged as he pulled himself up to give her a quick peck on the lips. “I could, for example, not suggest you stick around the next time Luna calls me.”
“Wow, chimp,” Talon smirked. “You’ve got a bit of a dark side. That’s kind of hot.”
“Well, before this gets out of hand, can we go back to the thing we were talking about earlier?” he asked as Moonlight ceased rotating her hips against him. “About the housing, we could just alternate until we find someone, and then I’ll pitch in for someplace new when we need it.”
Surprised, Moonlight slowly sat up and folded her legs in front of her. “You’d really do that?”
Thomas gave a half smile. “Despite my best efforts, I think I’ve become a bit spoiled with where I like to sleep. I’d like wherever it is to be pretty comfortable, so I’m willing to do my part.”
“I understand that, but you’d really use your own money?” Moonlight asked cautiously.
“Why not?” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s just been sitting in the bank all this time anyway, so might as well. Granted I should probably check up on exactly how much I have first, but yeah. If I’m gonna live in a house with a sexy mare, might as well make sure it’s a place worth living in.”
For a second Moonlight looked like she wanted to argue further, perhaps something about doing it herself or wanting to look after her stallion. However, that look quickly faded into one of appreciation.
“Or…” Talon interjected. “And I know this’ll probably appeal to the cheapskate within ya,” Talon shot a grin at Thomas. “But you could just do the concubine thing and set up in one of the fancier guest rooms. They’re bigger than most apartments and could easily hold a decent sized herd.”
Thomas blinked in surprise at Talon. “Oh yeah!” he exclaimed as he recalled Talon’s sizable room. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“'Cause you’re hip deep in unicorn plot,” Talon deadpanned. “Not the best position for thinking, I hear, at least most of the time.”
“Fair enough,” Thomas added before recalling the strange look Blade Grace had been giving him. She was definitely sizing him up, like the others were doing, but she seemed to have her mind on less perverted things. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that, despite her polite smile, she was judging him. I guess, with how bat ponies apparently are about Luna, it’s logical that she’d be wondering if I’m good enough for her. Ignoring the seeping feeling that she might be right to judge, Thomas cleared his mind with a quick inhale of Moonlight’s mane. Eh, whatever. I’m probably just overthinking things. And even if that is what she thinks, so what? He concluded, deciding to just keep these thoughts to himself until it looked like there’d be an issue.
Thomas wished Talon luck as they parted in front of Luna’s door, him holding an overnight bag. At the Princess’ request, Thomas and Moonlight were to spend their first day off together, leaving Talon the daunting responsibility of satisfying an alicorn who saw little need to show her usual level of restraint to the relatively larger and stronger griffon. Talon’s final words were “If I don’t make it, tell Leste she’s got a fine plot.”
“I think she knows,” Thomas nodded as the doors closed with an ominous slowness.
As they walked through the halls back to Moonlight’s room in the barracks, Thomas desperately wanted to say something to break the silence. Damn it. Why can’t I think of anything to say? Thomas thought as he looked up at the mare walking beside him. Moonlight smiled down at him contentedly as she swung her tail just enough so that the way it brushed his legs looked accidental. Is this supposed to be one of those ‘nothing needs to be said’ kind of silences? If so, then why am I so anxious right now?
“Something the matter?” Moonlight asked in a chipper tone, oblivious to her lover’s internal dilemma.
“I… I’m not sure,” Thomas confessed. “Does this feel, I don’t know, are you alright with all this?”
“By ‘all this’, I assume you mean being herded?” she asked, to which Thomas affirmed. “I thought I said it was fine earlier,” she assured, bumping his side.
“You did, but…”
“Would you rather we discuss it inside?” Moonlight asked, indicating that they had arrived outside her room. She was looking forward to formally inviting her stallion back to her place for their first real night… day together.
Thomas agreed and they entered. The human slipped out of his loincloth and set both it and his overnight pack on a nearby counter. He took the seat Talon had occupied earlier as he watched the unicorn remove her armor. When Moonlight noticed Thomas gazing in her direction, she turned her back to him and slowed her pace as she carefully guided each plate off her body in what she was certain was an erotic dance. She grinned seductively at him over her shoulder when it came time to remove her trousers, sticking her butt out with a light shake as she slipped them off by hand. Her tail was raised just enough to cease its obstruction of her stallion’s gift. When she was done, she turned to present her body proudly to her stallion, only to find he’d been gazing off to the side.
“A-hem,” she coughed, startling Thomas back to reality.
“Y-yes?” Thomas blurted as he tried to recollect where he was. He then blinked in mild surprise upon noticing that Moonlight was naked in front of him. When did that happen? Oh crap. How long was I spacing out for? He continued staring at the mare, waiting for her to speak next.
“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” Moonlight asked as she walked up to him, a bit disappointed that it wasn’t a sexy swagger as she was hoping to do.
Thomas sighed. “I don’t know. I think I’m just being silly.”
“No pony’s silly while making a face like that,” Moonlight observed as she sat on the bed across from him. “If there’s something bothering you, I want to know about it.” She gave an amused smirk. “Herd-mates have to talk to each other, you know.”
“But that’s just it,” Thomas stated. “Is it really alright for us to be herded, you know, so fast?”
Moonlight blinked and flinched a little. “Well… of course it is. We love each other, and I can’t think of a single reason we shouldn’t be together.”
Thomas exhaled with a mild grin as he crawled across the bed and snuggled up beside Moonlight. “And the others?” He whispered as he rubbed his cheek along the fur of her arm. “The other harem members that’ve all had a history with each other… even you.”
Moonlight heard the unasked question and pulled Thomas tightly against her side. “What’s past is past.” She knew she couldn’t let herself sound annoyed, lest she aggravate his condition further. “At best, it means the other concubines and I will have an easier time getting along, but nothing will change how Luna or I feel for you. You’re my stallion. Never forget that,” she said as she held him close.
Thomas attempted to reason with himself, to argue that he really was just being stupid and should keep such thoughts to himself. However, the security of Moonlight’s grip caused his words to escape, jumbled as they were. “So it’s not… it doesn’t make us, er, less?”
Moonlight tightened her grip around her stallion. “Never. I’m telling you now that I don’t care about some past life I don’t even remember, and I’ll keep telling you for as long as you need me to.”
“Now you’ve lost me,” Thomas deadpanned. “I thought ponies were all about destiny and stuff.”
“I’m a pony; an Equestrian. Destiny is just part of our everyday lives. It’s even branded on our flanks, for Faust’s sake.” She indicated her hip. “If I knew a few months ago what I know now, I’d have probably been less of an idiot and started seducing you the first day we met.” She grinned.
Thomas grinned at her efforts to comfort him. “That’s nice of you to say, I guess, but that kinda makes my point. Aren’t we just doing this because we have to?”
Moonlight shifted a little. “And that’s why the secret exists, I imagine. Regardless of who we were or what we did in past lives, we’re still ourselves today and we all react differently. In truth, I don’t think it matters all that much.”
“How so?” Thomas asked skeptically.
Moonlight shrugged. “Well, it’s certainly a thing we have in common, but it’s like Luna said. Ponies fall in love all the time, only to seek out new lovers in their next lives. We might not have share affections in a past life, but I don’t see it as terribly different from how we don’t share all the same interests in this one. I have an appreciation for the military I don’t think you do, but it’s not like that’s a point against us. How we met and the time we spent together: that’s what defines our relationship now. In fact, even if we had known each other in some past life, that’s probably what would have defined our relationship then, and what would define our relationship in lives yet to come.
“Huh.” Thomas huffed. “But what about Silver and the other concubines? Isn’t it kind of like having an arranged marriage to someone you’ve never met?”
“Not really. Like I said, destiny is part of our lives.” She hummed in thought. “It’s kind of like our cutie marks. Most ponies have no idea what their cutie marks will be when they’re young, yet they still work hard to pursue them because, well, they have faith.”
“Faith?”
“Faith and trust that their cutie marks will reflect their talents and lead them to a happy and fulfilling future.” Moonlight inhaled his scent, humming in satisfaction. “I had faith, and was rewarded for it.” She patted her hip. “Now I’m asking you to have faith in us, and trust that you’ll be rewarded, too.”
“Why?” Thomas asked. “I know this sounds really bad, but… could you just try and explain why an awesome mare like you is with a shrimp like me?”
Moonlight sat on the edge of the bed as her legs hung over the edge. She motioned for Thomas to do the same as she firmly gripped his shoulder, letting him know neither of them was going anywhere. “Because I want you, silly.” She knew she was the silly one for forgetting that Thomas was a little thick and preferred when things were spelled out for him. Also, they were courting now, so she was allowed to call him thick, even if only in her head for now.
Thomas squirmed in her grasp until he was no longer at risk of suffocating on her side boob. He looked up at her, wordlessly pleading for her to go on.
“I think it was the ursa attack that finally made me realize it,” Moonlight said as she absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair and massaged his scalp. “When I thought something might happen to you, it got me thinking about what life would be like without you. No more shared meals, no more of our writing sessions, no more of your… smell,” she added with a bit of a blush, only to renew her determination at confessing her feelings. “You’re a stallion, but you’ve got this really coltish look that’s just so adorable. Everything from your size, to your shyness, your writing, and even your smell… did I already mention your smell?”
Emboldened by her words, Thomas nodded as he felt his hand glide up Moonlight’s back, causing her to shiver.
“Your just exactly my type. It’s like you’re a combination of all the best parts of every stallion I ever had a crush on. To be honest,” she increased the pressure on his back until she was certain she could envision every inch of his body pressed up against hers. “When I saw you with Luna, I had a hard time figuring out who I was jealous of more; you for being with the enchanting alicorn of legend, or her for being with such an adorable stallion.”
Thomas’ hand began descending south until it brushed the top of Moonlight’s tail, sending a stronger shiver through her body.
“A-and if it helps, I suppose I should point out that we’re not actually herded yet. Technically, we’re still courting. If the thought of destiny and doing only what you are told bothers you so, then pay it no mind. I’m the one who chose to court you of my own will. Destiny might have pointed the way, but I’m the one who chose to act. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make you comfortable with this until we’re both ready to call it a proper herd. Does that help?”
“It does,” Thomas smiled as he reflected on how much importance he was placing on labels. “When exactly does that happen though?”
“Whenever we choose,” Moonlight answered throatily.
Realizing what needed to come next, he smiled up at her. “My turn,” he declared softly as he began tracing around where her tail met her tail bone. “Even if you weren’t my bodyguard, I think I’d still feel safe with you around. I’ve been pretty scared since coming to this place, surrounded by all these super-sized mythical creatures, and you’re on the short list of locals that have not only been welcoming, but made me feel safe.”
“B-but…” she whimpered as he teased just above her plot. Her tail swiped softly at his arm, pleading for mercy. None came.
“Even with that crap in Ponyville, just having you nearby made me feel like nothing bad could happen; at least before the ursa, but that’s probably an extreme we shouldn’t count.”
“If you s-say so,” she stuttered, only to gasp as Thomas maneuvered the tip of his finger between her sensitive butt cheek and the erogenous zone of her cutie mark.
“I do say so,” Thomas added confidently as he manipulated the mare now in his grasp. “I love our writing sessions too. It reminds me of when I would bounce ideas off an old friend of mine, only this is actually leading to something. Also, with or without the armor, I’ve always thought you were pretty cool. Plus I’ve always had a thing for taller girls.”
“B-but the P-Princesses are taller than m-me,”
“There’s only been one alicorn I’ve ever cared about,” he said to her boob, teasing the nipple with a gentle blow. “Now I think I’ve got two Princesses.”
Taking a moment to swallow his implication, a very flushed Moonlight moved her free hand up to Thomas and began tracing around his nipples. She’d heard that, while not as sensitive as a mare’s, a stallion’s nipples were a good place to explore while he was already aroused. As it turned out, this advice extended to humans as well. “I… I’m your P-P-Princess?”
“My fine-assed Princess,” Thomas corrected as he finally let his hand fall upon her tushy.
Moonlight’s words momentarily caught in her throat. “Celestia’s flank! D-do you really think my plot is… fine?” The word felt lacking, but at the same time she could detect the innuendo.
Thomas chuckled as he tightened his grip around her butt cheek. “A fine ass for a fine mare.”
Moonlight squealed as she pulled Thomas into a two armed hug, this time threatening to suffocate him between both breasts. Just as stallions could sometimes get insecure over their penis size, mares tended to feel insecure about their plots. In fact, a large percentage of methods a mare used to attract a stallion involved plot appeal. And while he didn’t know all this, as the mare bounced up and down on the bed with the human locked in a death grip, Thomas was fairly certain his compliment was very much appreciated.
When Thomas was finally able to breathe again, he found himself sitting on Moonlight’s lap, his erect cock pressed tightly between their bellies. With her breasts pressing into his upper chest and a little over his shoulders, he looked up past the gorgeous mounds and into the gorgeous blue orbs of Moonlight’s eyes. Her expression was a mix of contentment and excitement. The more he looked, the more Thomas was able to detect a more animalistic hunger behind her peepers. This look, which reminded him quite a bit of Luna, both frightened and excited him. She had him, but she also wanted him. “Now Moonlight,” he sheepishly began as he brought his hands around her back to better brace himself. “Such a lovely mare with such lovely eyes,” he smirked as she began fluttering her eyelids, “wouldn’t be allowing herself to give in to temptation with the innocent young colt, would she?”
“And if she is?” Moonlight smirked as she closed the gap between their faces, but stopped short of contact. “What will the helpless little colt do to stop the big bad guard from devouring his scrumptious cock with her hungry pussy?” With the heat now radiating from her loins, Moonlight hadn’t expected to arouse herself so quickly. Was Thomas’ small, helpless frame really such a turn on for her?
Thomas gave a brief approving hum at how well she’d used the recently learned words, only for his mouth to curve into the saddest frown he could muster as he gave her his best pleading look. “Could I ask her to pwease be gentle?” he said with a babyish voice.
By Faust, Moonlight was afraid her heart would burst from her chest. She’d always known she liked the younger looking stallions, but had Thomas just tapped into her inner foal-fiddler or something? He was the right size, and his facial features were much less pronounced like a colt’s, and that voice… The mare dove in and claimed Thomas’ lips for her own. As the pair attempted to eat each other’s lips, Moonlight felt confident that the only colt she’d be fiddling with any time soon was the one currently being levitated out of her lap by her magic.
Thomas frowned at the mare as she levitated him back down to the floor. The room was decently warm, but he still felt a chill where his body had previously been warmed by her fur. “Something wrong? Did I misread a signal or something?”
“Honestly, you have less patience than some of my old fillyfriends,” Moonlight scoffed as she stood and turned her back to the human. She bent over, bracing her elbows on the mattress as her tail raised and fell to the side, giving her lover a clear view. “Can’t even wait for a mare to get into position for a proper mounting,” she laughed as she invitingly swayed her rump from side to side.
Thomas began laughing to himself. “Ya know,” he said as he swaggered up behind her and beheld the exquisite masterpiece that was her tight and perky ass. “Not to complain, but we could have done it as we were.” He bent forward slightly and set his hands on her rump, savoring the warmth and texture within his hands.
Although she gave a squeak at his touch, Moonlight looked over her shoulder with questioning eyes. “As we were? You mean belly to belly?”
Thomas chuckled again. “Is it really so weird that you have to describe it like that?”
“It’s not weird. It’s just, how do I put it?” Moonlight hesitated. “A little kinky.”
“You sucked Princess Luna’s cock,” Thomas deadpanned as he ceased his massage of her rear. “I think being face to face is actually a step down on the kinkometer.”
“Well that’s just because…” Moonlight trailed off as she considered his words. She had taken Luna’s cock in her mouth, all while Thomas had mounted her. She’d taken two penises at once for her first time. All things considered, she’d started pretty high on the… kinkometer? Whatever. The mood was dying. “Next time,” Moonlight promised. “For now, just take me from behind like a proper stallion,” she growled in frustration.
“I thought I was supposed to be the helpless colt,” Thomas said cheekily as he moved his thumbs agonizingly close to her moistening vagina. “Shouldn’t you be the one to…” But he was unable to finish.
Moonlight had had enough. She’d poured her heart out to him and him to her, only he did so while working her up. Lighting her horn, the unicorn took hold of Thomas’ pelvis, lifted him up a ways, took aim, and slammed his waist into her backside. It was only at the last possible second that Moonlight’s face paled in horror as she remembered why she gravitated more towards defensive spells as opposed to offensive techniques in school. Her aim sucked, and now her stallion’s stallionhood was lodged halfway up her butt.
Thomas’ eyes bulged in shock when he realized where he was. Moonlight’s magic had evaporated instantly upon contact. Careful not to make any sudden movement, he lowered his gaze down to where their bodies met. “Oh dear,” he stated worriedly as he felt the anal cavity clench tightly around him. “Are… are you alright?”
“Ju-just give me a second,” Moonlight panted, also trying not to move around too much. However, with each breath she felt the human’s penis shift around inside her. “I, heh…”
“Want me to pull out?” Thomas offered.
“P-please…”
Nodding, Thomas braced himself to begin extraction.
“…n-no,” Moonlight finished breathlessly as her tail wrapped around Thomas’ back, just in case he tried to pull out.
“No?”
Moonlight gritted her teeth. “I-I want this. J-just give me a second.” Lifting her head, the mare lit her horn and Thomas’ eyes were drawn back down to the glow emanating from her rectal cavity. When the glow faded, Moonlight let out a long sigh of relief. In doing so, her body shifted and Thomas felt his dick slide out a bit from the much wetter anus.
Thomas glanced rapidly between Moonlight’s lowered head and butt until he felt confident enough to state his theory. “Did you just lubricate your butt hole?”
“Y-yes,” Moonlight grinned back at him. Her face was so flushed that Thomas couldn’t tell if she was horny or exhausted. Probably both. “That feels so much better,” she heaved as she clenched and relaxed her anal muscles around their welcome guest.
Thomas also took a few experimental thrusts of his cock in her butt, each one eliciting moans of joy from the mare. Still, better safe than sorry. “You sure you’re alright with this? I didn’t hurt you, right?”
“Y-you didn’t,” she sighed. “But it would have been my fault anyway. Besides, I want you to be the first one inside my butt. Your, ehm, cock feels amazing inside me.”
“Amazing? What’s so amazing?” Thomas asked evenly. “Is it amazing when I do this?” he said as he pushed himself the rest of the way in, which went remarkably smoothly, until his balls touched her vulva.
Moonlight had groaned the entire time and even let out a squeak when she felt his testicles. “Y-yes. That is…”
“What about this?” Thomas grinned as he clenched his left hand around her cutie mark and used his right hand to reach around her leg and between her thighs, carefully exploring her fuzzy groin until he found her clit and gave it a light pinch. She clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle a yelp. “Oh my,” Thomas said in an impressive impression of George Takei. “I do believe the mare is enjoying herself.”
“J-jus-just shut up and buck me already!” Moonlight demanded in what sounded like anger, but was just excessive sexual frustration. Her stallion’s cock in her ass had been an accident, but now that it was there, she was going to make him earn his keep. “Plow my plot and fill me up.”
“As the fine-assed mare says,” Thomas affirmed as he pulled out halfway, only to slam back into her plot with a resounding smack. Pulling out much more slowly this time, Thomas savored the warm tightness of his lover’s plot, as well as her moans of delight, before slamming back in all the harder.
Moonlight propped her butt up and tried to match his movements, slamming into him as he slammed into her. The tickle of his balls brushing against her vulva sent a tingle up her spine while the dick in her ass caused her body to radiate with heat. Then there was the reassuring pressure on her back as he lowered his torso upon her. She was supporting her stallion’s weight while he rutted her, making her feel full and whole. No matter which hole they used, “This is amazing!” she declared.
Thomas continued forcing himself into Moonlight’s rear. “Moo, Moo, Moon,” Thomas panted in a desperate attempt to call out his lover’s name, causing her to smile. “Your ass is amazing.”
Her juices were now spraying across his thighs with each thrust. He was doing his best not to cry out anymore as he let his left hand sink into her toned flank while his right continued to play with her clit. Moonlight was tight, but her lubrication spell made it so that he was sliding in and out with considerable ease, making both of them moan and grunt in delight. Thomas felt himself grow inside her as he remembered that this was her first experience with anal, at least with a real dick. He’d been the first guy to stick it in her mouth, her pussy, and now her ass. He had laid claim to each of her orifices and that thought was edging him closer. He was so close now, but he’d hold out until she was ready.
As Moonlight rode the pleasure of Thomas riding her butt, she felt the familiar twitch of his dick inside her. Her own orgasm was also close. She slammed her rump back into his lap with ever greater force. Her ever tightening clenching was also slowing his movements inside her. As her stallion tenderized her rump with his groin, she called out “Cuumiiiiing!” and spilled her mare juices all over his thighs and hand. Not a second later, the human released his load into her tightly clenched rectum. Moonlight hummed in ecstasy as she felt his warm seed fill her ass.
Unremarkably Thomas fell onto Moonlight’s back, panting heavily after his long day’s work of plowing mares and griffons. The unicorn wasn’t much better off, or else she might try extracting a few more spurts. Clenching her sphincter around the appendage still imbedded in her backside, Moonlight held onto the human with her tail and carefully maneuvered them both onto the mattress and under the sheets. Laying on their sides, the mare was confident that Thomas would continue impaling her for the remainder of the night. It was his stallion’s duty, after all. And as his mare, it was her duty to ensure that their shared bed was warm enough to keep them both happy. All things considered, neither party had reason, or coherence, to object.
“Love you,” Moonlight panted, feeling Thomas grin into the back of her neck. In the afterglow, she realized that he was right in that they’d been setting up for her to dominate him, only for her to mess that up by sending him into the wrong hole. Oh well. Next time they’d do it right.
“Awesome,” Thomas said into her fur as he slung his hand around her stomach and pulled her close.
Moonlight’s cuckoo clock began blaring a lot earlier than Thomas had become accustomed to since he began sleeping with Luna. Ignoring the comforting warmth of the mare’s back, he pulled himself up and looked over at the offensive clock with an angry sneer. However, he couldn’t hold the anger as his groggy eyes beheld tiny Celestia and Luna figurines that danced within the opened clock while somewhat larger representations of the sun and moon spun around them. The whole thing was absurdly elaborate and must surely have come from some sort of novelties shop.
“Do you like it?” Moonlight asked as she sat up in front of him, her ass still impaled on his cock. “It’s been in my family for generations.”
Of course it is. How could I think otherwise? Thomas scoffed internally, only to have his thoughts shaken as Moonlight slid her legs across his until she was now sitting in his lap. While the human breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn’t accidentally crushed his balls, she continued moving until her legs were hanging off the bed, her ass still full of stallion meat.
Quizzically she peered at him over her shoulder. “Is it normal for a human stallion to always be hard in the morning?”
“Yeah,” Thomas giggled, unsure if the question was born of ignorance of males in general, or if this was yet another difference between species. “It’s called morning wood. I don’t really know why, but yeah. For some reason guys wake up stiff as wood down there, hence the name.”
“Well, we can’t have that, now can we?” Moonlight smirked as she slid off his member with a long sucking sound until it popped out. Still glistening from the remnants of the lubrication spell, Thomas’ cock stood proud, if a bit cold, before his mare as she knelt down in front of him.
“Seriously?” Thomas deadpanned the mare now sitting between his legs.
“What?”
“You know where that’s been, right?”
Moonlight took an experimental sniff. “Seems fine to me. The lubrication spell doubles as a cleaner.”
Thomas blinked. “I did not know that,” he stated flatly.
“Well the one I use does, anyway.” Moonlight waved her hand dismissively and, without further ado, slid her lips around his dick and pumped and sucked until she got her salty reward. “Good?” she asked after her final swallow.
“Y-yeah,” Thomas huffed.
“Good. Now let’s hurry and get cleaned up,” Moonlight ordered, motioning to the bathroom door. “We’ve only got a couple hours until we have to be present for Princess Luna.” She grabbed Thomas by the wrist, along with his overnight bag, and practically dragged him to the bathroom. The shower was brief, but efficient. The same could be said for brushing his teeth, which the mare kept urging him to hurry to finish.
“You always in such a hurry?” He asked amusedly.
“Hurry? This is normal for any military pony. You’re just too used to lazing around,” she said bluntly.
“Can’t argue with that,” Thomas shrugged and continued his endeavor to match the unicorn’s pace. As he did, he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to bring in other mares, as that seemed to be an inevitability everyone around him was expecting. Most likely they would all have their own jobs and routines, requiring a fair amount of adjustment from all parties. It would definitely be an issue if one or more of them weren’t nocturnal. On the other hand, they’d definitely have to look into getting a house before bringing in anyone else, for there was no way anypony else would be comfortable being crammed into a room this small.
At breakfast, the human had very nearly expressed his annoyance at all the congratulations for finally courting. Moonlight, with much more grace, suffered a greater cacophony of well wishes, especially from those who knew her when she was young. Other than that, conversation was largely the usual pleasantries and light teasing all around. However, when they were done, Luna looked quite elated as she informed them that, because of such poor attendance as of late, night court would not be held until later tonight, meaning they had the first half of the evening all to themselves. That is, after the Princess’ cooking lessons. It was more sandwiches.
“So, what do you want to do?” Moonlight asked as she and her stallion sat naked in Luna’s lap. The naked alicorn was massaging both their scalps while the unicorn leaned against Thomas. He was struggling to hold up her weight and she was struggling not to look too pleased with herself as she felt Luna’s breast against her back.
“Donno,” Talon shrugged as she flopped onto her back on the mattress. “What do you wanna do?”
“I vote we stay in,” Thomas raised his hand from his position in Luna’s lap. The alicorn was smiling contentedly as she ran her fingers through his hair and occasionally giggled when her touch elicited a groan of pleasure from either passenger. Thomas did his best to pay no mind to Luna’s gentle fingers massaging his scalp, or the exquisite feeling of her breast poking his back. “I mean, we don’t necessarily have to go out to have fun, right? Also, after these last few nights, I’m kinda pooped.”
“That is because we are no longer applying the endurance spell to you,” Luna hummed casually. “You are left to rely only on your own energy reserves, rather than ours.”
“I’d suggest we fix that with a trip to the gym,” Talon added. “But I’m not feeling it tonight either. I’m also voting for lazy-do-nothing.”
Luna gazed curiously at Talon as an awkward pause befell them. “Surely you do not propose that we actually do nothing at all?”
“Why not?” Talon asked. “After all the hard work we’ve been doing lately, not to mention the drama, I think we’ve earned a little break.”
“But still,” Luna shook her head in disbelief. “How can you actually go about doing… nothing?”
“We can do something,” Thomas reassured. “Just so long as it doesn’t take much energy.”
“Ah,” Luna relaxed at Thomas’ words. “That does sound rather appealing, but what exactly do you propose we do?”
“Smarty-corn,” Talon barked commandingly, shooting her arm up and pointing at the unicorn, all the while never moving from her spot on the bed. “Options.”
Moonlight had inadvertently shot up from her comfortable seat, where she proceeded to ignore the griffon’s snickering as she considered. “My sisters and I used to read together,” she offered. “We’d lie next to each other on the floor and just share a book.”
“That’s an option,” Luna perked up. “Dearest Thomas and I do that from time to time.”
“It’d be kinda awkward with four of us,” Talon frowned. “Unless you propose we pair off?”
Moonlight’s scoffed at Talon’s remark. The thought of cuddling with either her herd-mate or the Princess, or even Talon, had its appeal. However, there was one element which served as a bit of a turn off. “But then it’s not really something we’d be doing together.”
“Fair enough,” Thomas nodded as he waved his hand invitingly over the empty spot in Luna’s lap, which Moonlight gingerly retook. “Any other ideas?”
“Why don’t you tell us a story?” Luna suggested, resting her hands on his shoulders.
“Story?” Talon pushed herself up. “More of chimp’s stories?”
“Yes!” Moonlight cheered as she beamed at Thomas. “I vote for more human stories.”
Luna cleared her throat. “With all due respect, this is not a democracy, but a diarchy,” she corrected sternly. “And as Princess, I hereby order my beloved human to rise to the occasion and entertain us with his tales of yonder.”
Thomas gave a relenting sigh as he hopped down from Luna’s lap. “Not the first time I’ve been asked to ‘rise to the occasion’,” he grumbled convincingly as Talon snickered. After walking a fair ways out to the middle of the carpet, he held his hands far from his body and bowed. “But if it pleases your worship, then honor demands that I-”
“Quit hamming it up and just get on with it!” Talon jeered.
“Quiet, you,” Moonlight snapped. “He’s obviously warming up for his narration.”
“My lovely ladies,” Thomas said melodramatically as he continued to bow. “Ask what you will of me, and I shall give it.”
“So long as you’re offering,” Talon touched her claw to her lower beak in consideration. “I’ve been wondering a little about Halloween. A review I read said the whole thing felt like an opening to something much bigger.”
“I read that too,” Moonlight added, gazing at Thomas expectantly. “Is it true?”
Thomas’ gaze swept over the expectant looks of the unicorn and griffon, and up to the knowing smile of Luna. “That it is, my lovelies. The Nightmare Before Christmas is a beloved story about Jack Skelington and his journey to rekindle his inspiration through the hijacking of Christmas, a holiday with remarkable similarities to Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
“Hearth’s Warming?” Moonlight asked. “So humans have equivalent holidays for both Nightmare Night and Hearth’s Warming?”
“I don’t get it either,” Thomas admitted with a shrug. “Maybe it’ll make a little sense afterwords?”
“Here, here!” Luna cheered as she levitated Talon into her lap to sit beside Moonlight. “On with the story!”
And so Thomas continued the tale that had been a smash hit in Canterlot. He sang, mimicked the motions of the characters, and did what he could to paint a picture with his words. Carefully he studied the expressions of his audience, adding explanations whenever he spotted confusion, which happened surprisingly infrequently. When it was over, Talon and Moonlight were leaning against one another, happy and content.
“That was… amazing,” Moonlight said in awe.
“I can see why they didn’t put all that other stuff in the ride,” Talon added. “They’d have needed, like, a year to set up even half of those scenes.”
“And I’d never really thought of Nightmare Night and Hearth’s Warming like that,” Moonlight chimed in. “I guess it makes sense to see them as sort of opposites, but it never occurred to me to compare them like that. Humans really are quite the creative lot.”
“I’m still racking my brain over how you guys have, like, almost the exact same holidays,” Talon chuckled. “I mean, there’s coincidence, and then there’s smacking implausibility upside the head. Kinda fishy, really,” she said, turning an accusing eye on Thomas.
Does she know? Thomas thought in a brief panic as he locked eyes with Luna, recalling their shared dream yesterday.
**********
In the dream world, Thomas and a sized down Luna were sitting together on a couch having just marathoned an entire season of South Park. Luna was laughing so hard that she had pushed Thomas over as he fell victim to the same fit of giggles. When the pair had calmed down, Luna lay atop of Thomas, lazily tracing her finger along his chest as she gazed down at him.
“What troubles you, my little human?”
Thomas smiled flatly. “It’s just all these secrets we’re keeping.”
Luna nodded quietly, letting Thomas speak his mind.
“First there’s the secret about where I’m from and what I’ve seen,” he began. “I mean, I get it. National security and an existential crisis about the future and other worlds all rolled into one. I get it.”
Luna nodded again.
“Then there’s this stuff about reincarnation that we’re keeping from Silver. It’s not really my secret, and I guess I kinda understand the idea of wanting to get to know people without that baggage, but that’s exactly what it is; a whole lot of baggage.”
“And it weighs heavy on you,” Luna observed understandingly as she climbed up along his chest and nuzzled under Thomas’ chin. “You have an honest heart,” she cooed approvingly.
“I get it. At least… I’m trying to,” he admitted, silently remarking how the effect of Luna’s breasts against his body had diminished since their first time. “But… Moonlight.”
“You don’t want to lie to her,” Luna surmised.
“I just got this feeling that, with all the crap that’s been happening, and with everything that’s gonna happen, she’s probably gonna find out eventually. I don’t want her to…” he trailed off.
“Think less of you,” Luna finished. She pulled herself up to meet him eye to eye. She saw the uncertainty in his gaze, the sense of impending dread. Great trials were coming, the likes of which Equestria had not endured for more than a thousand years. Those concerns he had rightly left to the alicorns, but there was no escaping the fear that the mare he loved would be angry with him. “You want to tell her,” Luna stated matter-of-factly.
“Her and Talon,” Thomas corrected. “They’ll probably get mad at me at first, but I’d rather it be me to tell than them finding out some other way. The reincarnation stuff is your business, I guess, but I need to tell them the truth about me.”
“What of Silver?” Luna asked. “What of my future concubines and your future lovers?”
Thomas grimaced. “I don’t know. Maybe?”
“Moonlight wishes for a herd of her own. In your terms, you will be married to them the same as with her. What of them? Do you wish to share this secret with so many?”
Thomas sighed, understanding what Luna was hinting at. His origins and what he knew of the show, if it ever got out, had the potential for disastrous ramifications across the world, not to mention his personal safety if folks wanted to kidnap him. It was only common sense that the secret should be known to as few people as possible to minimize the chance of a leak. Even so… “D-do you think we can do this on a, I don’t know, a case by case basis, or something?” He asked pleadingly, hoping Luna knew of a way to ease him of his guilt.
“That seems fair,” Luna said after a short deliberation, much to Thomas’ surprise. “It is my judgement Moonlight and Talon have proven their loyalty to the crown, and thus can be trusted with your secret. However,” her voice took on a tone of seriousness, “for all others, you must first check with me. I will make the judgement on whether or not one is worthy to know this secret that could so easily destroy the harmony of Equestria. Is that acceptable?”
Thomas’ answer was to grab hold of Luna’s neck and pull her into an open mouthed kiss, wordlessly thanking her for this chance.
**********
Thomas felt himself suddenly seized by stage fright. However, gazing into the eyes of his cherished friend and kinda-sorta fiancé, he steeled his nerves to do what must be done. Luna’s look of encouragement was most appreciated.
“Moonlight. Talon. There’s… something I need to tell you.”
The mare and wren observed the tenseness of his features and nodded.
“Whatever it is, my stallion, you know you can trust me with anything,” Moonlight assured.
“You know how much I hate secrets,” Talon reminded. “But whatever it is, know that I respect you for coming forward and promise not to be mad.”
“Okay,” Thomas exhaled, readying himself as he reviewed the words he’d chosen. “Here goes. I… am not from another country.” He paused, but observed only looks of mild confusion from his audience. “I don’t know how it happened, but…” Thomas recounted the tale of his arrival in Equestria, of how a simple shopping trip was interrupted by a portal that sucked him into Princess Luna’s chambers. He told of how the Princesses determined his origins, took him in, and swore him to secrecy before giving him a job. Now was the time for shock.
“Another world?” Moonlight gasped. “How?”
“I don’t know,” Thomas confessed, bracing himself for the real kicker. “But there’s more. In my world, we have a television show called My Little Pony. It’s about a purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, who goes to a town called Ponyville at the order of Princess Celestia, and has all kinds of magical adventures in the land of Equestria.” He wetted his dry lips and waited for the response.
Moonlight didn’t know what to say at first. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she struggled to find the right words. “You’re an oracle? You… know the future?”
“Not precisely,” Luna answered. “The events Thomas had described to my sister and I-”
Thank you, Thomas thought as Luna redirected the attention to herself, reminding all that she was equally guilty for keeping the secret.
“-are not entirely in line with events that have transpired thus far. The reasons why can be attributed to anything from mismanaged production, to dimensional variances, or anything else in between.” Luna lectured stoically, holding onto her passengers’ knees for reassurance. “Suffice to say, upon being informed of his knowledge, Tia and I agreed that it would be best if such information were not made available to the public.”
“Obviously,” Talon spoke up for the first time since the confession began. “There are a few really good fortune tellers out there, but none of them can boast knowledge from another dimension. Chimp’d lead a much less peaceful life with all them upstarts, local and foreign, trying to kidnap him to see what he knows.”
All parties blinked in confusion at Talon’s level headed analysis.
“Tali?” Thomas asked.
“Yeah, chimp?”
“Why are you so calm?”
“Indeed,” Luna added. “I would have thought that you-”
“Were gonna blow up in everybody’s faces for being kept out of the loop?” Talon finished, causing Thomas to flinch at her accusing tone. She wasn’t wrong. That had been exactly what Thomas had expected. “I might have, if Leste hadn’t already told me this stuff.”
“WHAT!?” came the unified reply from the mares and man.
“Yeah,” Talon said with a nonchalant shrug. “She told all of us in the harem. Swore us to secrecy of course, but she told us.”
“That… blather mouth bubble butted blowhard!” Luna gasped.
“Can’t argue there.” Talon folded her arms, nodding sagely.
“When?” Luna demanded.
“Like… a week after the chimp showed up?” Talon said uncertainly. “She told us to keep it all hush-hush too. She trusts us, but she’s right that the fewer who know the secret, the better.”
“So you’ve all known,” Moonlight said, her eyes darting between the others. “You’ve all known this whole time, and no pony told me?”
“I… I’m sorry,” Thomas stammered, bracing himself for the worst. He was already imagining Moonlight storming out of the room, naked and furious about being the only one left out of the loop. Talon’s admission had really thrown a wrench into his plans.
“Why?” Moonlight asked.
Thomas stepped forward, ready to fall to his knees and debase himself in whatever way he could think of to show how sorry he was, to admit that he was an idiot and that Moonlight deserves better than him, but that he’ll do whatever she wants if it meant they could stay together. But before the words left his mouth, Moonlight elaborated.
“Why are you telling me now?” The silence the unicorn met was deafening. “What?” She seemed genuinely confused as to why the others looked so shocked.
“You’re,” Thomas nervously swallowed, “not mad?”
Moonlight made a thoughtful expression. “To be honest, I am a little upset to be the only one not in the loop.” Her soft laugh did not sound forced or uncomfortable. “But… I’m a soldier. We learn that all information is on a need-to-know basis. Even if I am trusted to be a House Guard, I understand I’m not high enough in the chain of command to have access to information as confidential as oracles, especially if it puts my stallion in harm’s way.” She smiled at the still stunned Thomas. “Which brings me back to my original question of why you’re telling me now?”
“Because I love you!” Thomas blurted. He paused briefly in embarrassment, but pushed past it as he stepped forward. “Because I love you, Moonlight Shield. I love you and it was eating me up to keep this from you.”
“It… was?” Moonlight asked. “Why?”
“Why?” Thomas repeated incredulously.
“I’m with the chimp on this one,” Talon added skeptically. “National security or not, this was still a pretty big thing he’s been keeping from you. It’s only natural to feel a little guilt.”
Moonlight’s expression hardened as she faced Thomas, stopping him in his tracks. “Thomas.”
“…yes?”
“Have you withheld any information from the Princesses that pertains to national security?”
“Absolutely not!” Thomas said resolutely.
“Have you withheld anything from me regarding my own future?”
“Absolutely not!” he said again, deciding her nonexistence in the show could wait for later.
Moonlight hopped from Luna’s lap, her hooves making a slight clop sound, and stood directly in front of Thomas, imposing upon him with her height. “Then there’s nothing to forgive,” she said adamantly as she knelt and pulled him into a hug. “You have acted as any loyal citizen should, telling the Princesses and staying silent for the safety of the nation. For that, I’m proud of you.”
With her warmth surrounding him, Thomas’ hands rose up and locked around her back. “So… you’re not mad?” He tentatively asked.
“I never said that,” Moonlight warned. “I’m grateful you’ve decided to trust me, but I’m not exactly happy with being kept out of the loop like this.” The awkward silence that followed could have been cut with a knife. “And make no mistake, you will be making it up to me later,” she said with a growl that made Thomas quite certain he’d be walking funny for a while.
Talon smirked in approval. “Always important to set ground rules early in a relationship.” Her remark earned her a sharp tail whip to the knee, which she gracefully accepted as fair recourse as Luna chuckled. “By the way, Leste didn’t go into too much detail, but she was saying some pretty weird stuff I’ve been aching to ask about.”
“Such as?” Luna asked.
“Ponies in this show are, like, tiny horses, or something?” Talon asked uncertainly.
“Yeah,” Thomas acknowledge, still held fast in Moonlight’s arms. “Why?”
“They have hooves instead of hands, but they still build buildings and have jobs. How does that work?”
Curious, Moonlight eased her grip and gave Thomas some breathing room to answer.
“Unicorns have magic, but other ponies just used their hooves and mouths for stuff.”
“Hooves and mouths?” Moonlight asked. “But hooves can’t grip. And mouths…” Her eyes widened in horror as a thought took form. “How do they change diapers?”
Thomas chuckled at the looks of disgust that befell his closest friends as he felt the tension fall around him. “Suspension of disbelief, like I explained at the zoo about Robin Hood,” Thomas reminded. “The idea is to create a story and situation that engages the audience enough that they don’t really think about the improbable stuff. If, for example, a tiny magical horse can lift a sword with just their hoof, the audience won’t think too hard about it if the situation requiring them to use a sword is interesting enough.”
“What about griffons?” Talon inquired.
“You walk on all fours, just like the ponies.”
Talon thought on this a moment. “That sounds like it’d be pretty easy to flag your tail at someone.” A grin grew across her beak. “Sounds like a fun place to visit.”
Moonlight turned on Talon in annoyance. “Is it just impossible for you to go five minutes without thinking something perverted?”
“Maybe,” Talon said with a shrug.
“Also, there’s nothing sexual that happens in the show,” Thomas interjected. “Ponies aren’t shown to have genitals and they never talk about any of the lewd stuff you guys do. It’s a show for kids, so that stuff’s just not addressed.” He grinned at the looks of befuddlement. “Ponies might be naked, but otherwise they still follow a lot of human norms. They’re even monogamous.”
“Scratch that,” Talon huffed. “I’ll stick to the Equestria where folks know how to have fun, thank you very much.”
The remainder of the evening was taken up largely with Thomas telling more stories about the human world, and even a few from MLP. Commentary and questions heavy, especially from Talon who simply could not come to terms with the differences between the two worlds. Thomas, deciding to be annoying, also told of the other generations of the show, which were not met so positively. Moonlight was told of the deal that Luna was to be the arbiter of whoever else was to be let in on the secret, to which she dutifully agreed. By that point, Luna had decided she was done fighting her urges and promptly pounced on her lovers, happy that the air had cleared between them.
**********
As the Princess and her lovers began to engage each other, a lone stallion sat at his desk in his private office and sipped a glass of wine. Firestorm was gazing into a crystal ball connected to the tracer he’d placed on Thomas back on Nightmare Night. “I wonder if they’ll up my pay for this,” he thought aloud.
********** After easing Luna’s urges before Night Court could finally begin, Thomas and friends returned to the Princess’ chambers. Once inside, Thomas spied a small assortment of mail on the night stand and reached for the one with his name on it.
“Who’s your secret admirer?” Talon teased as she loomed over his shoulder.
“Twilight,” Thomas read. “We’ve been exchanging letters for a while now and she’s sort of been my search engine for various facts of interest.” His eyes darted to Moonlight to gauge her reaction to Talon’s teasing, finding only mild curiosity and leaving him wondering how he felt about the apparent lack of jealousy. It was nice to think that she was just that secure in her affections, but the human still felt he needed to be on guard.
“Search engine?” Moonlight asked as she huddled over Thomas’ other shoulder and peered at the unopened letter. “How does an engine search?”
“Simply,” Thomas answered flatly as he walked past the females and took a seat on the bed. His moment of semi-privacy was short lived as Talon sat behind him, crossing her legs over his middle as she laid back against the sheets. Moonlight climbed up beside Talon and began idly preening her wing. With lion paws in his lap and griffon groin against his lower back, Thomas gave an exasperated sigh, thankful that they at least weren’t reading over his shoulder, before finally opening the letter.
Dear Thomas
To continue our conversation on the difference in human and pony relationships, allow me to start by congratulating you and Moonlight for finally herding.
As for the issues you were having regarding noticing signals, it reminds me a lot of what Talon told me when I lived at the castle. Since you’re both immigrants, I hope her words will be of use. For one thing, she expressed curiosity regarding how it was almost always the mare who initiates the relationship. With griffons, as she described, there is no real rule. Whoever feels the bravest makes the first move. After that, the relationship dynamic places the initiator in the role of the lead and they go from there.
I was intrigued when you said that humans have the males taking the role of initiator and lead. This, as you have likely surmised, is the opposite of how things work in Equestria. Here, one of the mares in the herd takes on the role of lead, making major decisions on behalf of the family. This role has less meaning now than it did in the past, but it is no less vital to the stability of the herd for somepony to take responsibility as the leader.
“Anything juicy?” Talon asked, tightening the grip of her legs and pulling Thomas close in what seemed to him like a half-hearted hump. “She telling you what she does when she thinks about ya?”
“Not yet,” Thomas sighed. “It’s just boring book stuff for now, but I’m sure the juicy stuff’s coming.”
“Try bouncing a little.” Talon emphasized by pressing her groin harder against his back. “That ought to get the juices flowing.”
“Is there just some compulsion driving you to blurt out every perverted thing that comes to mind?” Moonlight asked in faux annoyance.
“What? I thought you ponies considered honesty a virtue.”
“There is such a thing as too much information, my fair feather brain,” Thomas retorted dryly, never taking his eyes off the letter. “TMI for short.”
“Oh, you both can just go suck the fattest of clits,” Talon snapped back.
“Only if you’re good.” Thomas peeked over his shoulder with a wry smile.
The females laughed lightly at Thomas’ comeback before falling into quiet chatter amongst themselves, leaving Thomas to read in peace.
Another difference worthy of note is how ponies are herd animals while griffons are pack animals. While ponies live in families of generally two to seven adults, griffons live in large clans comprised of extended families under the rule of a clan alpha and averaging at around seventy adults. Leads in herds have lost much of their tangible authority in the last few centuries. Where once a lead’s signature was necessary for other members of the herd to engage in formal contracts, now the position holds only the intrinsic authority bequeathed by the trust of the herd. In contrast, griffon alphas remain a legally recognized authority and hold considerably more sway over their clans than leads do over herds. For example, alphas get final say on whom a member of their clan is allowed to marry. Refusals to abide by the alpha’s demands are met with harsh punishments, usually carried out by the alpha or their immediate family members. In fact, marriages with other races generally end in the offending griffon’s banishment from the clan. For further details, I’d recommend asking Talon personally.
“Pretty much!” Talon said, causing Thomas to jump when he realized she was looming over him once more.
“Don’t do that!”
“What? Provide compelling commentary to make the story more interesting?”
Realizing what she meant, Thomas pressed the letter to his chest to hide it, much to Talon’s amusement.
“What are you two on about now?” Moonlight asked.
“Apparently chimp’s been asking Sparklebutt about herd stuff,” Talon commented idly. “But the little bookworm recommended he speak to me directly about the griffon side of things.”
Accepting the futility of hiding the letter, Thomas relented and gave the griffon a half smile. “Well?”
Talon shrugged. “Never all that close with any outside my immediate blood relatives. Like the letter says, a lot of alphas don’t look kindly on marrying outside our race, so I left that old fart behind to snuggle with the buns of the sun.”
“I’m sorry,” Thomas said sympathetically.
“As am I.” Moonlight grabbed Talon’s shoulder.
“I’m not, so don’t go trying to pity me or anything,” she warned. “It’s actually a perfectly normal thing when there are marriages between clans. You can’t really belong to both, so somebody’s got to make a choice, and that’s exactly what I did. Now I’ve got a new family.” She wrapped her arms around Thomas and pulled him close.
“Family?” he asked.
Talon hummed in contemplation. “It’s like… I’m Leste’s wife. Moonbutt is my wife’s sister. And since you’re sorta married to my wife’s sister, and smarty’s herded with you, that makes you part of my clan. That makes us family,” she said meaningfully.
Thomas smiled at the griffon’s explanation. “Thanks. I had a pretty big extended family growing up, but we were never all that close. It’s… nice, I guess, to have you think of me that way.”
“Happy to help,” Talon saluted. Peeking over her shoulder, she gave a half smile to Moonlight to make it clear she was included.
“I’m honored to know you view me as such.” Moonlight leaned forward and pressed her cheek to Talon’s.
“Yeah, yeah.” Talon grumbled, pushing the others away in annoyance. They rearranged to sit in a triangle on the sheets. “Don’t get all mushy on me. We were talking book stuff, remember? Chimp. Why don’t you tell us a little about the human side of things?”
“Alright. Well, for one thing it’s the reverse with humans,” Thomas explained. “With us, the guy is usually the one to initiates things. The guy is also usually the one who goes to work while his wife stays home and watches the kids. These days the wife usually works too, but if she has the choice she’ll usually stay with the kids.”
Talon frowned. “That’s… pretty different from how things work here. Males usually work, sure, but it’s also usually one of the females who tend the home.”
Thomas met their puzzled gazes and sighed in defeat. “Let’s just say that we used to have more consistent rules, but then we threw a lot of them out, and now even we’re not too sure how to deal with each other anymore.” He smiled flatly. “Look, there’s a lot of political baggage behind this and it’s not all really relevant to the here and now.”
“You come from a very strange place,” Moonlight commented. “If I’m following this right, it sounds like your culture is largely the reverse of ours, or at least you were before… Why would you throw out your own rules? I still don’t understand that.”
“For one thing, there’s a lot of contention over what parts of human behavior are biological or cultural,” Thomas answered, shifting uncomfortably as he carefully considered his next words. “There have been studies that women and men tend to be happier when the male is the more dominant one. Even if the woman has the more assertive personality, those with the more successful marriages are the ones who at least let their men feel like they call the shots.”
Moonlight’s ear twitched. She’d been intently following his every word on the nature of human relationships, eager for further insight on her stallion’s peculiar nature. This latest revelation was especially intriguing. Thomas always seemed happy to let her or Luna take the lead, so there was the possibility he may be an exception to his people’s rule, just as there were dominant stallions and submissive mares. However, if this was indeed biological as he proposed, it might serve her well to follow the lead of those successful human mares and let him take the lead from time to time.
“And like I said, there’s just all this baggage that I really don’t want to get into right now. How about we just stick to learning about Equestrian culture and I’ll point out differences if I think they’re relevant. Okay?”
“If you say so,” Moonlight said warily. It was clear she had no intent of letting this subject be dropped forever. “Where would you like to start?”
“I guess with the next step, expansion. Like 99% of humans just have two people partnerships and that’s it. What all goes into how herds and harems grow?”
“Talon,” Moonlight smiled. “Since you both have something of an outsider’s perspective, maybe you can explain it better?”
“Fair enough,” Talon agreed. “Usually the mare would start with her close friends. Apart from that, she can just make it known that she’s looking and that any interested individuals are free to come up and give courting a try,” the griffon paused. “By which I mean the new mare is usually the one courted by the herd, but the reverse is pretty common too. And like I said before, it’s usually one stallion with several mares, but it’s not impossible to come across any number of combinations. Eight mares and two stallions is a pretty popular combo. A little while before you showed up, I met this nice mare who was part of a herd where she was the only mare and had four stallions at her beck and call. Also, if humans have an equal male to female ratio, I’m guessing you don’t have studding.”
“Nope,” Thomas deadpanned.
“Well,” the griffon smirked. “Studding isn’t all that common, but it’s probably something you’ll have to deal with.”
“Why, exactly?” Thomas asked flatly.
“You want this one, smarty-corn?” Talon asked, but there was no immediate answer. “Oh, what am I saying? Of course you do.”
Moonlight mumbled something under her breath that sounded a lot like a swear, but if Talon noticed she didn’t seem to care. “You, my stallion, have unique features,” she paused as her eyes wandered appraisingly over his frame and face. “They make you look, well, exotic. A lot of ponies are into that. Not to mention your smell. With time, Equestria will become more accustomed to you, especially with your minor celebrity status. After that, I suppose I agree with Talon in that you’ll probably be the target of stud requests.” She chuckled lightly.
Thomas frowned, uncertain of both Moonlight’s implications and the way she talked about how attractive he was. “Just for clarification, what exactly is a stud?”
“I read it was much more common long ago,” Moonlight explained. “However, while the practice seems to have substantially fallen out of favor with the public, the rules have changed little. To stud is actually a very simple contract between a mare and a stallion in which the stallion gives the mare a foal during her heat, but without engaging in any courtship rituals or marriage. The contract varies from coupling to coupling, but usually bits are exchanged for the stallion’s services.” She explained pragmatically.
“The guy’s the one who gets paid?” Thomas asked to the nodding of the females. She just… said it so plainly, like guys getting paid to knock women up is just that simple. “Back home it’s usually the women who are paid to have sex with the guys. Is that why prostitutes aren’t stigmatized here, because of the studding?”
“I guess that’s part of it,” Moonlight nodded. “The stallion agrees to lay with the mare during her heat with the stated intent of conceiving a foal. A pony’s reasons to be or to seek a stud varies greatly. Some stallions enjoy being bachelors, but they are not so selfish as to deny the mares around them.”
“Selfish?” Thomas scoffed. “That’s a really… interesting way of putting it.”
“Some mares, especially filly foolers in female only herds, see no reason to wait for their perfect stallion in order to have a foal. Some choose to be mothers all on their own,” Moonlight added with a hint of disapproval. “Though that is not regarded as a favorable practice for either mother or child.”
Guess that’s just how it goes without artificial insemination.
“Sometimes there is a perfectly happy herd, but the stallion is tragically sterile. So they agree to seek aid from a stud.”
“And the stallions are alright with letting some stranger be with his wife, er, herd-mates?”
“If he is sterile, the stallion wouldn’t exactly be proud to seek outside help,” Moonlight explained somewhat morbidly. “But if he agreed to it, then he must be alright to some extent. Besides, a stud is not necessarily a stranger. That’s actually a common misconception. While there are some stallions who perform the role in a semi professional manner…”
“Nothing semi about it,” Talon interrupted with a wide grin, slapping her knee. “You probably haven’t seen any of those guys. You’d remember if you had. But they put other stallions to shame with their…”
“A’hem,” Moonlight coughed softly.
“Oh,” Talon shrunk down a little. “Sorry.”
Thomas snickered at Talon’s antics as he listened. He was getting a clearer understanding of pony jealousy, or lack thereof. Ponies were expected to be faithful in their relationships, but seemed to have all manner of socially accepted exceptions. From herds, to prostitutes, and now studding, it seemed like Equestrian society had everything it needed to keep everyone satisfyingly well-sexed. No doubt there were exceptions these two were skimming over. No society was perfect, after all. However, as each day passed, Thomas found less and less reason to argue that Equestria was the best place to live, ever.
“Anyway,” Moonlight sighed. “Besides the professionals, if the mare chooses to seek the aid of a male friend to help her conceive outside of courtship, even if the male only does it once, then the stallion in question is technically considered a stud. When it comes to herds, mares may choose to lend their stallions as a stud to other mares as a token of friendship, or perhaps for some needed bits, but again, only if he consents.”
“I don’t think I’m gonna be doing that,” Thomas asserted flatly. A pregnant pause followed as the two females stared at him very intently, apparently intrigued by the utter lack of uncertainty in his voice. An explanation was demanded. “I’m not sure how things work here, but with humans the best environment for the kids is to grow up with both parents present. I believe that, if you choose to make a kid, you ought to stick with it and make sure it gets raised right.”
“That’s a very admirable belief,” Moonlight commented as she snuggled up beside him.
“Certainly better than the half-assery you get from a lot of these so-called nobles,” Talon scoffed.
Thomas nodded. “And the harem, if I’m following this right, kinda works the same in a lot of ways. Ponies apply as attendants, and then we just decide as a group whether or not we like them, right?”
Talon smiled. “Exactly!” She kissed his cheek. “See, you’re getting it.”
“Guess I am.” He kissed back.
“Though the harem’s a lot trickier,” Talon warned. “There’s a pretty thorough screening process that weeds out a lot of the social climbers and other bad apples, not to mention all the secrecy we deal with.”
“Like with the reincarnation stuff?” Thomas asked.
“Yeah,” Talon grimaced. “That part’s kept secret even from us so it doesn’t color our perspective. Whatever we were in the past doesn’t matter as much as who we are now.”
“Told you.” Moonlight bumped shoulders with Thomas.
“Though the Senior Concubine usually knows,” Talon amended. “It’s up to them to figure out all the details that go into the application, too. They arrange meetings, make the tests, and so on to make sure everyone’s alright with each other.”
“Amber said that Sun Dancer used Steel Hoof as a mobile throne,” Thomas chimed in.
“That’s part of the tests.” Talon glared seriously down at Thomas. “You went a little too easy on sweet wings. Not saying she hasn’t earned her spot, but it’s really not supposed to be that easy.”
“It’s not like I had much of a rigorous screening process,” Thomas argued. “At least, not for the harem part.”
“Neither did I,” Moonlight added. “I never even applied, yet Luna still welcomed me into her bed.”
“Chimp welcomed you in,” Talon corrected. “Moonbutt accepted, and that’s only because you showed rigorous dedication and loyalty to both of them. You were tested, just like I was, even if you didn’t realize it.” She left Moonlight to ponder this revelation as she faced Thomas. “You’re the exception, little buddy. Frankly there’s just so much weirdness around ya that I don’t even know where to begin.” She sighed in exasperation. “Fact of the matter is, harems have worked this way for thousands of years. It’s a proven system that’s not likely to change any time soon. Learn the system, guys.”
“I will.” Thomas sat up straight and looked Talon in the eye. “I might be slow to catch on at times, but I’m learning. I’ll do whatever I have to do to help Luna.” He turned to face Moonlight with the same dedicated eyes. “You’ve been really patient with me, Moon, and I appreciate that. So if you’re willing to be open to all of my weirdness, the least I can do is open up to a few more mares in my life.” He finished with a soft smile, only to have it smothered between Moonlight’s breasts.
“I’m such a lucky mare!” she cheered as she embraced her stallion. “But don’t you worry. I’ll make sure the rest of our herd gives you all the patience and love you deserve.”
Talon propped her chin up on her palm as she contentedly watched the pair. “Sure hope the little guy’s up for it. I’m not sure how many more affectionate mares his body can handle.”
Eventually Thomas was released from his latest incarceration in boob flesh and they went back to reading the letter. Twilight described many of the matters they had just discussed, minus the parts about the harem to which she admitted ignorance. Skimming over many of the more gratuitously detailed segments, the trio reached the conclusion of the letter and settled down into comfortable positions around the bed, discussing various details regarding Thomas’ world until their next summons.
Weeks had passed since Silver’s first night on the job and all parties seemed to agree that she was turning out just fine so far. Luna had informed Thomas on the specifics of the little tests they had been throwing her way. While he wasn’t exactly pleased they were actively doing this sort of thing, as it seemed rather manipulative, he couldn’t deny that he saw the function of it all, especially since they were all tests of character, which he understood were important for this job. Even Moonlight seemed to be growing closer to the mare.
Breakfast had concluded and the group had accompanied Luna to her cooking lessons. Upon being invited to come along, Silver looked ready to jump out of her maid uniform. She was practically bouncing as she was directed to the back of the kitchens with Talon while Moonlight got to go up with Thomas.
“Excited, are we?” Talon asked in amusement.
“Excited doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Silver beamed. “How many other ponies can say they got to watch the Princess of the Night giving private tutoring lessons? Oh, my sisters would be so jealous.”
Talon blinked and chuckled lightly. “Think ya might have things a little backwards there, sweet wings. It’s actually chimp who’s giving Moonbutt the lessons.”
Silver turned to Talon, staring at the griffon like she’d suddenly grown a second head. “What are you talking about?” She quickly glanced back at the Princess. “Is he schooling her on exotic human recipes or something?”
“More like they’re both reading from a cook book while he acts as her good luck charm.”
“Why would the Princess need a good luck charm?” Silver queried.
Talon proceeded to give the bat pony a short history lesson in the alicorn mare’s past attempts at cooking, including the various disasters that took place, and all culminating in her most recent successes and lesser disasters with Thomas by her side.
Silver looked utterly dumbstruck. “I don’t believe you.” She almost growled. “There’s no way the glorious and elegant Princess of the Night could ever be so… inept.” She whispered, the word feeling especially dirty in this context.
“Alicorns ain’t perfect, sweet wings,” Talon sighed, deciding to ignore the bat mare’s earlier challenge. Silver thought the world of Luna, so it was only natural she’d be resistant to the idea of her goddess having any faults. However, while that devotion was cute to an extent, it could also become a problem if not properly addressed. “Don’t get me wrong. They’re great at almost everything they try, but they still mess up sometimes. The fact that Moonbutt’s been gone for so long is a testament to that, I think.”
Silver nodded gravely. She didn’t like to think about it, but there was simply no denying that Nightmare Moon happened. Just the thought of what Princess Luna had to go through back then that culminated in her possession by such a monster… it was heart wrenching. The mare had to suppress the urge to take flight across the room and pull the alicorn into her embrace. But that wouldn’t do. This was Princess Luna she was talking about after all. One simply did not do that with a Princess. Then again, the more she thought about it, the more it seemed her knowledge of propriety might not be what she thought it was.
Sensing the question, Talon nodded. “They’re used to their little ponies idolizing them from afar, and they deserve it, but even alicorns like to come home and be surrounded by folks who just treat them normally.” She explained as they continued to watch Thomas and Moonlight finish setting up their materials. The box labeled ‘Brownie Mix’ was the giveaway.
“So… how did you make your Princess feel… normal?” Silver whispered, never taking her eyes off the alicorn as she swayed her rump from side to side in casual contentment as she measured the ingredients. She knew none would dare fault her for such a transgression.
“Basically, I romanced her like she was any other pony.” Talon said plainly. “We all did, in our own way. Chimp kinda went above and beyond with being her kitchen charm, but that wasn’t planned out or anything. He just saw there was something she really wanted and volunteered to help her get it. We’ve all had moments like that. There isn’t really any advice I can give, other than whatever you do, do it from the heart. Get it?”
Silver didn’t. All her life her parents had taught her that the alicorns were goddesses to be worshiped. Service as concubine was merely a form of worship few were lucky enough to practice, which was why the behavior of the solar concubines continued to vex her. Wild cheers, fart jokes, and more sexual innuendo than she could track was hardly the mark of reverence these deities in pony form were owed. It provided an oddly relaxing atmosphere, which even the alicorns seemed to appreciate, yet still struck her as inappropriate. “I… I think s-”
“Hit the deck!” A mare shouted.
Silver tried to look up, only for Talon to grab her and carry her off behind a cabinet where they took cover. Before she could ask why, an explosion shook the kitchen, its force reverberating in her bones as she balled up in fear. After a while, Talon released her grip of the smaller mare and chanced a peek over the counter.
“Clear!” A different mare announced.
Still trembling, Silver joined the others as they rose to their hooves. The first thing she spotted was Luna climbing off of Thomas. Apparently she’d inadvertently smothered him in an effort to cover him with her body. Moonlight, who had done the same for Luna, was currently climbing off her Princess and checking both of them for injuries. Satisfied that no pony seemed to have been hurt, Silver’s eyes wandered to the pot they’d been using to mix their brownies. It was singed and the top part of the metal had been blown open so that it now resembled a blooming flower of twisted metal. Above the pot rested a green goopy substance that had stuck to the ceiling. Silver felt a chill when she thought she saw it move, which it absolutely didn’t, no matter what any of the other witnesses claimed.
**********
“What to do? What to do?” Silver repeated her mantra as she paced around Luna’s room. Rather than going back to hers, she’d snuck off to her Princess’ chambers under the flimsy excuse of tidying things up. Her own room was an apartment in the servant’s quarters, only a fraction of the size of Talon’s room, to say nothing of Luna’s. It suited her well enough for now, for soon she’d be receiving an upgrade to one of the guest rooms along with the other concubines, or at least she would be if only she could think of something to do for Luna to make the Princess feel normal. The idea still seemed absurd to her, so she’d rationalized that this was all some sort of test she’d understand only after passing.
“Flowers? No. She probably has those all the time.” Silver reasoned with herself. “Maybe I could bake something? No. ” She groaned, smacking her palm against her forehead. “After what happened tonight, she might take that as a jab against her cooking. Then I’ll be sure to get that room upgrade, only to the deepest darkest dungeon.” She joked to herself.
“A gift seems like a good idea, but it probably can’t be anything bought. That’s for sure.” Silver concluded. “Jewelry is definitely out of the question. What she considers cheap might cost more than my family estate. And even if I got her something really nice, all that would prove is that I can afford to throw bits around. That hardly says ‘Oh Princess. I think you’re so normal. You should like and take me to your bed so you can rut me silly’.” She concluded in a mocking higher pitched imitation of her own voice.
Silver hummed as she scratched her chin. “Normal. Normal…” She mulled the word over in her head as she recalled Talon’s words. “Normal… romance! That’s it,” she exclaimed. “If the harem is like a herd, then it’s not enough to simply ask to join. I have to be approved of by all other members. However, Luna still probably follows older traditions, like asking the lead mare. Well, she’d definitely fit that bill, and she definitely knows I’m interested, but… no.” Silver shook her head, remembering what else she’d been told from both her parents and her talk with Sun Dancer. “In the harem, it’s the Senior Concubine who’s considered the lead. Yes.” The idea was taking shape.
“To woo Luna, I first have to finish winning over Thomas.” Silver grinned from ear to ear, resisting the urge to smack her head again at how obvious the answer was. “I can take him out, show him a good time, and if he likes me, which I know he will,” she snickered, “then I ask about something I can do for Luna. If nothing else, he probably has some ideas for what to get her for Hearth’s Warming Eve. Oh, Silver Bell. You’ve done it again!”
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
Silver blinked in surprise. A sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach lead her to suspect she knew who it was. “Yes. Who is it?”
There was a brief pause.
“Sir Thomas of Princess Luna’s Harem!” The familiar voice of Moonlight Shield proudly announced from the other side of the door.
“And that one sexy mare who likes to stalk him.” Thomas added, followed by the muffled sounds of laughter and good natured arguing.
Silver shook her head with a soft grin as she could just imagine what those two were getting up to. Both had become noticeably more outgoing since they’d formally decided to start going out and their cheer had become contagious. However, as much as she would have liked to welcome them in, Silver looked down to find that she was completely naked. “Oh buck!” She whispered as she scanned around the room for her maid outfit. She’d taken it off to be comfortable while on break, but it still felt terribly inappropriate to be seen by her boss without it while on duty. On the other hand, it would take her far too long to dress and they would surely think her rude for making them wait. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Silver took a calming breath and made for the door.
“Welcome, Sir Thomas.” Silver tilted her head in a respectful bow as she greeted them. “Welcome, Private Moonlight Shield.” Her heart began to quicken when she read their expressions. Moonlight seemed relatively unfazed by the bat mare’s nudity. She was also wearing less than her full suit of armor, which suggested that this was meant to be a more casual visit. However, Thomas’ bulging eyes betrayed his surprise. Oh-no-oh-no-oh-no. She panicked, cursing her bad luck and being caught out of uniform and how Thomas might be viewing her for this possible indiscretion, not to mention the hundred and one other ways he might be critiquing her appearance. I set out to make a good impression, only to fail before I even start.
Spotting Silver’s drooping ears, Thomas smiled warmly. “Sorry,” he chuckled. “One day I’ll get used to this whole nudity thing.”
“Oh…” Silver blinked, holding in her relieved sigh. “Well, I’m sure you will too. But I forget myself.” She stepped aside and made a sweeping motion with her arm to welcome them in to where they had every right to be. “Please. Come in. Might I offer you… the two of you some drinks?” Now that these two were courting, it was especially important to be mindful of her niceties to both of them.
“I don’t suppose you have any tea?” Moonlight inquired as Silver shut the door behind them.
“As a matter of fact,” Silver began as she took flight to the cabinets where she hid her secret stash for just such emergencies. Stupid! Don’t look too desperate. “I just bought a fresh batch of jasmine, if you’re interested.” She grinned in delight.
“Sounds great. I’ll take a bit of milk in mine.” Thomas agreed as he sat down on a nearby couch.
“A lump of sugar, if you please.” Moonlight added as she stood beside her charge, her posture conveying professionalism.
“So,” Silver began as she prepared the tea. “I was actually just about to look for you when you showed up.”
“Well that’s convenient.” Thomas commented. “What’d you need?”
Silver took in a long and slow breath as she recalled Tali’s words. Just speak from the heart, she told herself before peeking over her shoulder. “To be frank, I was just thinking that it was about time that I courted you, formally and properly, Sir Thomas.” She admitted before quickly refocusing on her task.
“You don’t say.” Thomas grinned, exchanging a knowing look with Moonlight. “Well, coincidences abound, because I was actually thinking the same thing.”
“Y-you were?” Silver briefly froze in her task, but quickly regained her composure, reminding herself that she’d been trained for this very thing. “I suppose I am to take this as a good sign?” She asked with a giggle.
“I suppose you can if you’d like.” Thomas shrugged. “Anyway, I’ve been talking with Luna and the others, and it’s pretty unanimous that it’s time we moved on to the next step.”
“I… see.” Silver straightened her back and puffed out her chest as she carried the small tray of three tea cups to her guests. She cursed herself for not being able to make better conversation as she handed Moonlight her cup and set out the others. While she quickly surveyed the room for a chair to pull up, her eyes were drawn to Thomas patting the spot on the couch beside him. Drawing courage from the stallion’s forwardness, she sat her rump exactly where he’d indicated.
“Don’t be fooled by his calm demeanor.” Moonlight broke the silence. “He’s actually feeling as awkward about this as you are.”
“He… he is?” Silver blinked as she glanced between the two.
“He is,” Thomas sighed. “Honestly, this polygamy thing is another of those pony customs that still feels really weird to me. It’s especially weird when your girlfriend’s standing right next to you,” he gestured with his head towards Moonlight, “and encouraging you to hit on other women… even if they are mares.”
“She… encouraged?” Silver studied Moonlight carefully. In her excitement, she’d nearly forgotten that these two had decided to start courting. On top of that, her past history with this other mare had left Silver to wonder if Moonlight might have judged her to be unworthy of her stallion. However, here Moonlight was, in Luna’s colors, encouraging her coltfriend into the arms of another mare no differently than if Silver were being invited into their herd. Seeing the unicorn nod in affirmation, a wave of relief washed over the bat pony as she regarded the other mare in appreciation. “Thank you.”
“Just remember that he’s still my stallion,” Moonlight added warningly. “At best, you’re his mare.”
Thomas’ eyes darted between the two mares, but mostly he focused on Moonlight with a querying look. The mare dismissed it with an ‘I’ll-tell-you-later’ look.
Silver couldn’t help but chuckle at the mare’s assertion. It was adorable, especially with the look of confusion on Thomas’ face. He really did have a lot to learn, and hopefully she could make this learning experience an enjoyable one. “In your place, I think I’d say the same if I had a stallion this cute.”
Moonlight gave another affirming nod, glad that they all knew where they stood… at least for now. “Since you were looking for us anyway, what did you have in mind to woo his… manly?” She asked, glancing down to Thomas for confirmation that she’d said it right. He nodded. “… his manly heart.” She concluded.
Silver grinned, broadly, taking a sip of her tea. “I was actually thinking of taking the both of you” she emphasized, “out to Dusk’s Cider House, the very place where Thomas and I first met.”
“Awesome.” Thomas cheered. “But before that, I’d actually like to do something for you.”
“F-for me?” Silver queried, only to remember their differing cultures. “Forgive me, but when a mare is courting a stallion, normally she is the one who is supposed to take action to make him happy.” She informed gently, only to reflect on how the reverse filled her stomach with butterflies.
“And when a man likes a woman, he’s supposed to do things that make her happy,” he explained softly as Silver processed his words. “Trust me. You’ll like what I have in mind. Think of it like a cultural exchange.” At the mare’s continued hesitation, Thomas smirked as he delivered the finishing blow. “Luna always likes it.”
“Likes what?” Silver blurted, the words leaving her mouth before she knew what she said. Thomas, to his credit, managed not to chuckle at her outburst.
“I admit a little curiosity, myself,” Moonlight added earnestly as she leaned in. “What exactly are you planning?”
“For her,” Thomas gestured to Silver, “a token of good will. For you,” he gestured to Moonlight, but only grinned. “How ‘bout the two of you get on the bed so we can get started?”
“B-bed?” Silver stuttered as her courage failed her, yet her legs managed to carry her over to the bed just fine. “Isn’t it a little… soon for that? Shouldn’t we wait until after we’ve gone out?”
“Don’t worry.” Moonlight assured as she followed the bat pony. “I know Thomas, and he’s not going to do that just yet.” She grinned before turning a skeptical eye on the human. “He’s not, is he?”
“You’ll see.” Thomas smirked.
The human ran ahead of both of them and climbed onto the bed, propping up on the pillows as he leaned against the headboard. He then motioned for the two mares to lie on either side of him with their heads on his shoulders, and for Moonlight to remove her helmet. She did as she was told; now having a good idea where this was going, but Silver was still clueless as she shook with fear and laid against the human’s silky smooth skin.
“You ready?” he asked, setting a hand on both mares’ shoulders. At their nods, he began.
“Nnnnngh!” Both mares grunted as Thomas went to work on their ears, gently caressing the fuzzy lobes.
“So…” Thomas grinned as the mares squirmed in his grasp. “How is it?”
“Gah!” Silver grunted. “No… no pony’s ever touched my ears like that, before.”
“We…” Moonlight panted. “You are going to start doing this more nnnnngh… often,” she commanded between quick suctions of air.
“That all depends.” Thomas adjusted himself to the weight of the combined mares. “You gonna explain what that ‘my stallion’ and ‘his mare’ stuff was about?”
Moonlight gripped the sheets between her fingers as she glowered at him from the corner of her eye. “You’re asking while I’m under duress?” Thomas nodded serenely. “That’s extortion,” she growled, followed by a low whimper.
“Call it whatever you like,” Thomas shrugged impassively. “So long as I get what I want, I don’t mind making you suffer for it.” He hissed.
“You’re… evil.” Moonlight groaned.
“And you love it,” Thomas countered, smiling when Moonlight tried to turn away to hide her own grin.
“It’s…” Silver panted. “It’s a show of dominance.” She watched as Thomas and Moonlight turned their attentions on her. “The lead mare is just… reminding the newcomer where she stands in the herd,” she said through a wide and pleasured grin. “Its… ngh… instinctual.”
“Fascinating.” Thomas commented before gliding his fingers along the mares’ scalps to their previously unattended ears, causing them to moan anew. “So,” he whispered into Moonlight’s ear, teasing the lobe with his hot breath, “you’re just marking your territory, is that it?”
“I…” Moonlight moaned as the pressure around her ear intensified and she met Thomas’ eye with a serious sideways look. “You’re my stallion,” she declared before lunging forward and stealing a kiss.
Silver watched in fascination as the pair locked lips and exchanged saliva. When it was over, she felt her body move of its own accord as she seized a less passionate kiss from his pleasantly soft lips. “And tonight, I’ll be your mare.” She whispered throatily, chancing a glance as Moonlight and finding her smiling contentedly.
Thomas let his head fall back against the pillows as he continued massaging the mare’s lobes, though much less intensely. “Ya know what?” he asked no one in particular. “Might be too early to say, but I think I might not be so terrible at this herd thing after all.”
After the mares had been pried off the comfort of his arms, Silver hurried to her room so she could ready for their date later that night. Thomas informed Talon of what was going down, and after giving him a congratulatory hug, the griffon vowed to hold down the fort while he readied the reinforcements. Back in Luna’s chambers, it had only taken the human a few minutes to don his dress clothes while Moonlight, after discarding several plates of metal to appear less bulky, fussed over the wrinkles to his amusement.
“Excited are we?” Thomas asked as the unicorn finished patting him down in front of Luna’s massive full body mirror.
Moonlight placed her hand over his chest and gave a knowing smirk as she felt his racing heartbeat. “It seems I’m not the only one.”
“Noted,” Thomas said, taking a calming breath. “Any last minute advice?”
“No worries,” Moonlight assured. “I’ll be your loyal wing-mare and make sure you don’t cause any international incidents.”
“International incidents?” Thomas raised an eyebrow. “That’s your idea of a pep talk?”
“Don’t worry your cute little flank off.” Moonlight grinned and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “She’s the one trying to impress you, remember? Just sit back, be impressed, and let nature take its course.”
“Nature.” Thomas frowned as he looked at himself in the mirror. “You mean destiny, right?”
Moonlight’s ear twitched, but she said nothing as she stood behind him, admiring how good he looked in his dress clothes. She already had a good idea what was bothering him.
“There’s just something… I don’t know… deceptive about what we’re doing,” Thomas admitted. He still had conflicting feelings over this ‘destined lovers’ thing and figured he just needed to talk it out more. “It’s like cheating, like we already know where this is going and are just manipulating her into it.”
“The way you look at things,” Moonlight sighed as she let her hand run through her human’s messy hair. “It’s just so… amazing, sometimes.”
“Amazing?” Thomas asked Moonlight’s reflection.
“You’ve been through so much, wound up in a strange land of strange customs, and yet here you are.” She glided her hand down the side of his head, teasing his jaw before gripping his shoulder. “Standing in Princess Luna’s chambers, holding one of the most coveted positions in all of Equestria, and yet you’re still so humble and worried over potentially hurting this mare’s feelings.” The unicorn leaned down and pressed her cheek into Thomas’. “It speaks of a strength of character most of the aristocracy can only imagine, yet it all comes so easily to you.”
Thomas averted his eyes from both the mare and her reflection. “I suppose that’s one of the few bonuses of depression. It’s really hard to feel too full of myse-yow!” He yelped as a certain someone pinched his rump.
“Now we’ll have none of that,” Moonlight chided. “I’m not about to let my coltfriend feel down on himself before his date with a couple of gorgeous mares even starts.”
“And that’s another thing,” Thomas added. “I was kinda under the impression you didn’t really like Silver. Why the sudden change?”
“I guess that just goes back to your question about destiny.” Moonlight sighed contentedly, still pressing her cheek to his. “This might be a difference in culture, or even species, but I’m just not as bothered about this as you. I’m a pony, so if destiny says I’m more likely than not to fall for this mare, then I really don’t see much reason to fight back,” she admitted.
Thomas nodded, silently agreeing that it was likely the pony herd mentality compelling her to go with the flow. “That’s nice of you to say, but is that how Silver’ll react?”
Moonlight straightened up, but still kept her hand on his shoulder. “And that’s where things do get a little deceptive, I guess. Although in this case, it’s more like we know what’s likely to happen, but have no guarantees. We’re free to pursue our own lives as we see fit. Destiny just plays a little helping hand.”
“How so?” Thomas asked skeptically. “Because from where I’m standing, it seems like destiny sort of renders choice pointless. It’s like, no matter what happens, this date is guaranteed to be a success…” He paused. “It just hit me how weird it sounds to be bummed out by something like that.”
Moonlight chuckled. “Well, the way I see it, there are a lot more factors at work here than destiny. Her applying to join you as a concubine, a job literally defined by love making, seems far more relevant, if you ask me. She chose to be here, which means she’s also chosen to be with us. Then there’s the simple fact that you already get along.”
Thomas nodded along in quiet contemplation. Moonlight was right that Silver had chosen to be here, and thus chosen to deal with the resulting consequences. When you added in all the talk of Luna’s growing desires, this outcome really did seem inevitable.
“If you think about it, the deck might have been stacked in our favor, but we’re still the ones who decide to play. That’s why we’re going on a date, so we can fall for each other now. That way, when she does find out about the past, it either won’t matter, or she’ll ride us all the harder to make up for lost time,” she finished with a giggle.
“Huh.” Thomas huffed, finding the way she described that last part oddly suggestive. “And you? I mean, now that you know what you were in the past, what do you think of her?”
Now it was Moonlight’s turn to avert her eyes. “She has some rather nice flanks, and I should probably ask what kind of shampoo she uses to make her fur so shiny.”
A little non-committal, but she’s definitely thinking about it. Thomas thought as he met Moonlight’s eyes with a sly grin.
“She might fluster easily, but we all have our little problems. There’s a true nobility deep down that I can’t help but admire,” Moonlight continued. “When in her element, she carries herself with such poise that it’s obvious she’s from fine stock. She’s a mare who was bred to be with Luna. If that means we’re also meant to be together, then I see no point in fighting, but I’m not going to blindly accept either. If we are meant to be, then let it be of our own volition.”
“And the reincarnation stuff?”
“Let that serve merely as a lubricant to help us ease into place,” Moonlight beamed proudly.
Thomas hugged her. “Tali’s being a bad influence on you,” he chortled. “I like it.”
“Just make sure you let her take the lead,” Moonlight added as she pushed him away and smoothed out the wrinkles. “She’s the traditional type, so that’s what she’ll be expecting.”
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
The pair turned their attentions to the door and smiled. Thomas in particular, relieved by Moonlights’ explanation, happily led the way and opened the door.
Silver Bell, Prench bat pony, looked absolutely stunning as she stood in the doorway with calm confidence. She wore a bright blue dress with a splash of white detail. The sleeves were little more than shoulder sized straps of a darker blue. The skirt was knee length with a white trim, which suggested that it wouldn’t be an impediment if she suddenly decided she needed to move. The bust was just open enough to give a peak as to what lay inside, adding a refreshing air of modesty. Her wings ruffled with what Thomas assumed to be intent as his eyes fell upon the midnight blue trim matching the bracelets on her wrists. Blue really was her color as it contrasted beautifully with the silver gray of her fur, which really did have a shine to it.
“Good sir.” Silver curtsied politely and batted her eyelids suggestively. Glancing at Moonlight, Silver found the other mare looking surprisingly attractive without so many plates obscuring her appealingly lean figure. As the unicorn relaxed her posture in a signal of welcome, Silver then offered her hand to her intended date. “Would you do me the honor of being my guest to dinner this fine evening?”
Remembering himself, Thomas took her hand, only to lean forward and kiss her delicate fingers. “It would be my pleasure.” He grinned slyly.
“Good sir.” Silver tittered, her cheeks flushed by the happy surprise. “You truly are a gentlecolt.”
“I have my moments.” Thomas grinned as he released her hand.
Seizing the opportunity to regain control, Silver offered her elbow, which her date happily looped his arm through. As she felt the warmth of his body through his sleeves, the bat mare quickly glanced back at Moonlight to make sure there weren’t any signs of disapproval. When she found none, she gestured to the human’s free arm, which Moonlight promptly took as the mares stood to either side of their stallion as Silver lead the way down the hall.
The trio made light conversation about the various goings on in the castle as they made for the carriage conveniently parked just outside the main gate. There was a growing chill in the air, reminding all of the season and making a certain human envious of pony fur. Thomas made to open the door, but was stopped by Moonlight as they allowed Silver to do so instead, and they continued speaking.
“And I’ve only been properly introduced to a few of Celestia’s concubines, but they have all been just delightful,” Silver said cheerfully as she sat next to Thomas, hoping he didn’t mind how much she was leaning against him while Moonlight watched from the opposite seat.
“So I take it that this internship’s been treating you nicely, so far?” Thomas asked as he felt Silver’s hand slide across his thigh.
“It’s better than I had ever imagined,” Silver cooed into his ear. “And the best part is that we haven’t even gotten to the real fun yet.” She sighed, only to realize it had been a while since Moonlight had spoken. “Out of curiosity, how have you two been doing so far?”
“Things are going fine,” Moonlight replied. “I’ve asked the Lt. about moving from the barracks to one of the castle guest rooms and he said it wouldn’t be a problem. We only have to wait for Attentive to set a room aside and we’ll be golden,” she explained as she gently tapped her hoof against Thomas’ shin. “Other than that, I plan to stay on as a guard and, pardon the pun, moonlight as a concubine.”
“Wait?” Silver queried. “I thought the castle had loads of empty guest rooms held on constant standby. Why do you need to wait?”
“Attentive gave some really long explanation,” Thomas answered. “But all I got from it was that bureaucracy’s a pain in the butt.”
“Ah,” Silver nodded understandingly. “Not to sound greedy, but in the event I pass my final test,” she rolled her shoulders as if to shake off any feelings of guilt. “Would I have to wait for a room upgrade?”
“Don’t tell me you’re in this just for the fancy room?” Thomas asked in playful shock.
“Oh sweetie,” Silver tittered as she pulled him close. “Of course it is. Weeks of work and a lifetime of dreaming has all been so that I might retire into one of the legendary guest rooms of Canterlot Castle.”
“Did you get that from Tali?” Thomas asked.
Silver giggled and averted her gaze. “I can just see the looks on my parents’ faces if they heard me making such a joke.”
“I’d be more interested in seeing their faces after they see who you’re with,” Thomas added with a mischievous smirk as he waggled his eyebrows.
Silver’s melodious laughter reverberated through the carriage car. Besides having a coltish face, Thomas also had a youthful vigor and charming wit that Silver found immensely adorable. Although that did bring up the question of how they really compared in terms of age. “Just let them see that tender flank of yours in uniform. I’m sure that’d put a stopper to any misgivings.”
Thomas suddenly found the view through the window very interesting as he looked away, causing the mares to stifle laughs at his discomfort. The remainder of the carriage ride continued in relative silence until they arrived at Dusk’s Cider House.
Silver had called ahead to reserve their seats, so they were able to get to their table in no time. Thomas and Moonlight sat on one side of the booth while Silver elected to sit across from them. As she sat, the bat mare quickly surveyed her surroundings. The restaurant was as nice as she remembered, but she could do without all the ponies either gawking or sneaking glances at her companions. It was hard to blame them, as an on-duty guard in partial armor and her human companion were an unusual sight, but the mare couldn’t help but feel a rise in ire as she caught wind of several whispers being exchanged.
Like pegasi, bat ponies had very sensitive ears so as to listen to the changes in wind while flying. As such, it had always been exceptionally difficult for her to ignore when ponies whispered behind her back, despite her practice at ignoring the opinions of those who weren’t worth her time. But now they were whispering about her dates. Who the buck do these stuck up prats think they are? Honestly, the nerve of some ponies. Her eye twitched at repeated accusations of “meat eater”, “dereliction of duty”, “cosplay”; and those were just the ones that could be mentioned in polite company. Silver’s irritation must have shown through her features as Moonlight picked that moment to cough.
“Ahem,” Moonlight waited until she had everypony’s attention. “So, Silver. Why don’t you tell us a little more about yourself?”
Silver smiled in relief, taking the hint. No doubt Moonlight was hearing the same things she was, but so long as it was only talk and no pony was making any trouble, it could be ignored in favor of more pleasurable company. After the waitress stopped by to hand them their menus, conversation promptly resumed regarding their various upbringings. Silver told of Prance, the gorgeous art, the pristine culture, the plush ivory towers, and the nobility with their noses stuck so high in the air that they ran the risk of getting stuck on the afore mentioned towers. Moonlight recapped her own foalhood in Canterlot with additional details, such as how she used to get into a lot of fights at school.
“Well that’s a bit of a surprise.” Silver noted, deciding against her impulse to make an unladylike remark about such brutishness.
“Now before you go letting your imaginations get the better of you,” Moonlight amended, “I wasn’t a thug or anything. I was actually protecting other ponies from the bullies when the teachers weren’t around.”
“That’s my girl,” Thomas pressed against Moonlight’s side as a wistful smile came to his face. “This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with your cutie mark story, does it? Because I just realized you never told me that one.”
“Didn’t I?” Moonlight touched her chin in thought. “Huh. I suppose I didn’t.”
“It seems only fair, since you already know mine.” Silver tittered playfully.
“I wouldn’t want to be an attention hog.” Moonlight waved them off. “This is supposed to be all about you, after all.” She gestured to Silver.
“Right.” Silver nodded. “As such, I humbly request that you share your cutie mark story with us, post haste.”
“Very well, though I’m afraid it’s not that much of a story.” Moonlight sighed. “It started out like any other day when I was teaching a bully some manners, when all of a sudden another couple jumped me from behind. Normally the three of them only had a pair of brain cells to share between them, but it seemed they’d finally wised up enough to realize that three is more than one.”
“It’s sad, but that’s actually really impressive the more you think about it,” Thomas said.
“What’d you do?” Silver asked, leaning forward in anticipation.
“What any sensible pony in my situation would do. I ran for it,” Moonlight announced proudly to the shock of her audience. “I knew the area pretty well and there was this narrow alley way about a minute up the road.”
“Wait.” Thomas held up his hand in contemplation. “You didn’t happen to use the narrow passage to cancel the enemy’s advantage in numbers, did you?”
Silver blinked in surprise before turning to Moonlight for confirmation.
The unicorn leered down at the human and gave him a light shove. “No spoilers,” she chided playfully.
“Sorry.”
“How did you know that?” Silver asked. “Did you have any combat training growing up?”
“Nah,” Thomas dismissed. “I just heard a story of a guy pulling that exact tactic on a group of thugs. Whooped them good, just like I imagine a certain mare was about to describe,” he grinned apologetically at Moonlight for the interruption.
“Essentially, yes.” Moonlight rolled her eyes. She was also impressed by her human’s knowledge, but she’d press him for elaborations later. “I ran down the alley and, before the bullies even got there, I fell to my hands, got myself in prime bucking position,” her grin grew, “and I knocked the first bully’s teeth in.”
Silver covered her mouth in a poor attempt to hide her laughter. “And the others?”
“They…” Moonlight trailed off in embarrassment. “They weren’t so easy. Before I could even turn around, the first one, a filly, grabbed my legs and pinned me to the ground. I tried to shake her off, but then her coltfriend came up and started kicking my sides.” The mare rubbed at the phantom pain in her ribs, only to wince when she felt Thomas comfortingly lay his hand on her thigh.
“Vile brutes.” Silver snorted contemptuously. “I eagerly await the part where you taught those hooligans a lesson they won’t soon forget.”
“Then I’m afraid you still have a bit to wait, because the next thing to happen was that my little sister came in and tackled the colt to the ground.” Moonlight grinned in fond nostalgia. “Unfortunately, he was an earth pony and she was too young to use magic effectively, so her advantage didn’t last too long.” She grimaced. “It was starting to look pretty serious for a second there. Thankfully, my older-sister instincts decided to kick in and I summoned this beauty.” Moonlight held out her palm until a miniature version of her magical shield blinked into existence for her audience to admire.
“Fascinating,” Silver said in awe as she reached out to touch the construct of light, finding that it held fast against her finger. “Solid.” She grinned. “And you were able to do this when you were how old?”
“Eleven.” Moonlight beamed proudly. “On an unrelated note, I also learned that shields make for excellent offense as well as defense.”
“No kidding.” Thomas nodded as he too poked at the shield. It was warm and left an oddly tingly feeling in his finger. “I assume you were a good little filly and shared this lesson with the rest of the class.”
“Boy, did I.” Moonlight chuckled as she proceeded into lavish details on all the ways she manipulated the shield to block the enemies’ blows, only to turn around and maneuver it into a bludgeon. “And then I had detention for four weeks and was grounded for five.” She concluded.
“Bummer,” Thomas commented plainly.
“And then my mom recommended me to an old drill instructor friend of hers to make sure I kept better control the next time I got into a tussle.”
“Pardon me,” Silver interjected. “But I think you forgot to mention the cutie mark in your cutie mark story.”
“Oh.” Moonlight blushed. “When the last bully went down, I went over to make sure my sister was okay. There were only a few bruises, but then she pointed at my flank, and I’ve been wearing it proudly ever since.”
“And that’s why you’re awesome,” Thomas declared.
“Yes. I suppose she is,” Silver said dreamily as she rested her chin on her palms and gazed longingly at the mare opposite her.
Thomas quickly took stock of the swooning bat pony and blushing unicorn. Damn, these ponies work fast. Just call it a date, share a few personal stories, and in no time they start to swoon. I wonder why it took so long for me and Moonlight to happen. Questions for later. Right now he had other priorities. “Silver?”
It took the mare a second to surface from the other mare’s eyes. “Yes, Thomas?”
“Would it be too forward if I said-”
“Come and get it!” The waitress announced as she distributed their respective meals. They thanked her and she went on her way.
“If you said?” Silver repeated with a friendly giggle.
Thomas took a breath to regain his lost courage. “That as lovely as you look in that dress, I’m looking forward to seeing you out of it?” He waited several long seconds for a blush or embarrassed giggle, but Silver only quirked her head in confusion.
“Forgive me, but how would that be forward?”
Thomas’s jaw clenched as he started to panic. Every joke came with the risk of the audience not understanding, and now he’d just made an ass out of himself for some dirty joke that wasn’t even that good.
“Oooh!” Moonlight’s eyes widened as it dawned on her. After shooting Thomas a cheeky grin, she turned to face Silver. “He means he’s looking forward to getting you out of that dress so you can rut.”
A slight tint of pink touched the bat pony’s cheeks. “Ah. Does this have something to do with human views on clothing?”
Thomas had to resist the urge to face palm. “Yes,” he grumbled. “We kind of tend to associate nudity with sex, but I guess that’s not so obvious around here.” He motioned around the restaurant, particularly at the mostly nude patrons. “It was supposed to be, like, a dirty joke, or something. I thought you ponies were more open about that kind of talk, so maybe…”
“No, no.” Silver reached out over their plates and grabbed Thomas’ hand. “It was a good attempt, and I appreciate the thought. Only…”
“It killed the mood, didn’t it?” Thomas asked.
“It would have,” Silver smiled sweetly. “Until a certain bat pony brought up how she has a thing for toned flanks, like those of her dates.”
“Aww,” Moonlight cooed.
“Yeah. That’s really… wait.” Thomas paused, retrieving his hand as he ran through what he’d just heard. “Dates? As in plural?”
“Naturally.” Silver shrugged chipperly. “I asked the two of you out since you’re courting one another. You both came, so you’re both my dates. Why?”
“Oh,” Moonlight gasped at seeing Thomas’ flat smile. “I thought… Was that not clear, earlier?”
“It probably was.” Thomas closed his eyes and tapped his knuckles disapprovingly on his forehead. Ah. So that’s what she meant by ‘wing-mare’. “I’m just suffering from a terminal case of thick-itis.”
“Thick-itis?” Silver repeated. “Can somepony explain that one to me?”
“Thomas has come a long way,” Moonlight began apologetically as she rubbed his back. “But there are still aspects of pony culture and body language that still elude him.” The mare set her chin on his head in the hopes of not letting him sink too deep. “Then again, I can’t exactly say I’m not just as guilty.”
Thomas tried to look up, but his mare held him in place while Silver looked on in rapt attention.
“If we were the same species, looking back on all the little gestures we shared, I’m fairly certain I’d have invited him to bed after my second or third week on the job.” Moonlight sighed and loosened her grip. “But I’m not terribly disappointed. After all, I think I’ve really enjoyed the experience of getting to know this little stranger.”
Thomas grinned as he rested his head against her breast. “Real sweet and all, but do you have to call me ‘little’? It’s kinda embarrassing.”
“Seconded.” Silver raised her hand. “Some ponies can get a little sensitive about that sort of thing.”
“Proposal denied, by veto of the lead mare.” Moonlight declared sternly.
“She’s gone mad with power. Quickly, Silver. Run. Run while you still can,” Thomas warned with all the urgency the situation would allow, which was more than one might expect.
“But my food’s getting cold,” Silver whined as she indicated her untouched plate.
“Fine,” Thomas pouted. “Eat first, then run for your life.”
“The motion for a healthy meal before exercise is accepted and passes.” Moonlight tapped the table with her knuckles in imitation of a gavel. “Onward to new business.”
Dinner between the three was allowed to continue with minimal silliness between the mares and man.
When Thomas had become irritated at whatever it was brushing his leg beneath the table, he peeked to find Silver’s white tail sweeping across the floor and occasionally intertwining with Moonlight’s. Thomas quickly looked up, but held the image in his mind. It was such a simple gesture, something that could be platonic or romantic, yet could still be performed by all ponies, regardless of age, sex, or tribe. At the same time, it was little gestures like these which, even when he did understand, could never fully indulge in. Thankfully, Thomas managed to catch his train of thought and steer his focus back to the conversation at hand.
“And her wing had this awkward wobble for a week, so they never tried that again.” Silver concluded her story as she and Moonlight burst out laughing.
“Sorry. I blanked out there for a second,” Thomas admitted. “What’d your mom do with her wing?”
Silver took a moment to calm herself down between titters. “She…” *Snicker* “She tried to…” *Gasping inhale* “She tried using it to simulate a stallion’s penis for my dad,” she said, pulling the extremities of her own wing in close while holding the main limb out until it resembled an arm.
“Oh.” Thomas nodded blankly. And now I have that image in my head, thank you very much.
“Quite.” Silver wiped a happy tear from her eye. “Father was terribly disappointed when mom vowed to never attempt such a feat ever again.”
“Really?” Moonlight asked. “I never thought you could use a wing for something like that, but wouldn’t your dad have been fine with a cooler?”
“No.” Silver shook her head with a sigh, her mane bobbing from side to side. “He insists coolers just don’t compare to the real thing and that only flesh and blood will do.”
“I see.” Moonlight nodded contemplatively. “I assume whorses or a new stallion for the herd have been considered.”
“Yes, but father’s just too picky. He always finds something wrong with the other stallions and then it just kills the mood.”
Glancing over at Thomas, Moonlight quickly picked up on his discomfort at the subject matter. “Speaking of stallions, have you had any coltfriends before coming to Canterlot?”
“A couple.” Silver chuckled. “We went out on a few dates, but it never got too serious. I guess we just didn’t click.”
“So, you’ve never tried stallion meat?” Moonlight inquired as her eyebrow rose in intrigue.
“Can’t say that I have,” Silver admitted without a hint of embarrassment. “But my parents did make sure my siblings and I practiced on a cooler,” she corrected urgently, not wanting to seem inexperienced.
“That reminds me,” Thomas interjected. “If you’re whole family has this tradition of giving lovers to Luna, does that mean we’ll be seeing your sisters around at some point?”
“I have brothers too,” Silver corrected. “But no. I’m the only one who actually applied.”
“Really?” Thomas leaned forward with a puzzled look. “'Cause the way you’ve been describing it, it sounded like your parents might have thrown you and all your siblings at this just to make sure someone gets the part.”
Silver chuckled. “My mothers were thinking the same thing. We all had the training, but I’m the only one who really took to it, so I was the only one who had to go. According to my granddame, I was the only one who heard the call.”
“The call?” Thomas repeated.
The bat pony narrowed her eyes skeptically at the human. “It’s this old story my family told me about. They say that you can tell the real concubines apart from the fakes because they’re the only ones to feel this ‘call’ to go and serve. I never put much stock into it, at least until I felt it for myself.” She set her hand over her heart in recollection. “When I heard the Princess had returned, I just felt the urge to answer. Why? As Senior Concubine, I would think you’d have at least heard of the call before?”
Thomas turned to Moonlight, hoping that perhaps her veteran concubine father might have said something, but the mare only shrugged. “Can’t say that I have,” Thomas sighed. “Frankly, it seems like everyone’s been dropping the ball at some point on this harem thing.”
An egregious oversight which cannot be allowed to linger one second longer. Silver vowed to herself. “Well, the call is one of the lesser known aspects of the harem, I suppose. If I were to put it into words, I think it could best be compared to a cutie mark.” Silver stood and lifted up her dress just enough to show off her flank, but not enough for anything else. “I’m good at singing. I like to sing. There’s just this compulsion that can’t be satisfied unless I do what my cutie mark tells me to.”
“I can see that,” Moonlight agreed as her eyes lingered on the exposed cutie mark until Silver dropped her dress and sat back down. “My mark might be based on my shield spell, but I think it really means I’m a protector.” She smiled as she looked down at Thomas. “That’s probably part of why I enjoy being a certain somepony’s personal bodyguard so much.”
“And here I thought it was because of my cute butt,” Thomas quipped.
“Exactly,” Silver agreed. “The first part, I mean. Not the… Never mind.” She shook her head. “The call is based on the theory of the invisible cutie mark, where ponies feel compelled towards certain destinies that aren’t made plainly visible. For example: ponies with magic based cutie marks might be better inclined to teaching rather than practicing.”
“Invisible,” Moonlight echoed as it dawned on her. “I know what you mean! That’s exactly how I felt when I saw Luna for the first time. I just wanted to pull her into a hug and make her feel safe.”
“Precisely,” Silver cheered in agreement. “I have this fantasy where I serenade the Princess and she falls asleep to my melodious…” She paused and blushed. “Well, you get the idea.”
“Not a pony,” Thomas began. “But I can safely say the first time I saw her I thought she was the most drop dead gorgeous thing on two legs I ever saw.”
“Well that’s a given.” Silver tittered, which soon spread to her companions. The growing common ground between them was most appreciated. “So, Mr. Senior Concubine,” she addressed formally. “Would you and your lovely fillyfriend care to take this party back to my place?”
“Hmm,” Thomas said in mock contemplation. “Will there be cake?”
At Silver’s confusion, Moonlight waved her forward and whispered in her ear, causing the bat mare’s eyes to bulge. “Y-you w-want t-t-to eat th-th-that!?”
“Well, if you’re offering, then who am I to say ‘no’?” Thomas gave a relenting sigh.
“Really had to twist your arm, didn’t she?” Moonlight quipped.
They finished off what remained of their meals and Silver paid. The cab ride back to the castle was excruciatingly long as Thomas and Moonlight had sandwiched Silver between them and refused to stop poking her in a search for where she was ticklish. However, they had arrived at the main gate before the bat mare had worked up the nerve to openly vow revenge.
The walk to Silver’s room was also painfully long. As the one doing the courting, it was only courteous that these next events should transpire at her place. At the same time, since Thomas and Moonlight were already an established herd, it was up to them to decide exactly how things would transpire. However, as she lead the way, elevating her tail just enough for them to notice but not enough for them to see anything, Silver couldn’t help but imagine every possible scenario on how this could go wrong. It helped a little to remind herself that her parents had assured her that these worries were all perfectly natural. But then she remembered the incident in the kitchen and suddenly even the more absurd scenarios seemed a lot more plausible. She was so distracted that she almost missed her room, but only almost.
“H-here we are.” After opening the door, Silver waved her hand in a sweeping gesture across the room.
“Wo,” Thomas blurted as he took in the sights. There was a small bookshelf, a vanity, armoire, a moderately sized bed with Luna themed sheets, and a door to what was presumably the bathroom. However, that was where the normality ended. The walls were nearly invisible behind a layer of posters depicting various bands, star charts, symbols Thomas recognized from that time Luna wanted to role play as an ancient bat pony, and a wide assortment of pictures of Luna. A distressingly high percentage of the latter depicted the Princess in numerous suggestive poses, leaving Thomas to wonder when, where, and why the alicorn had found the time to take them. All of this combined with the life sized young Luna body pillow in the corner left Thomas with but one conclusion. Holy crap, I’m dating Fairy Tale’s Juvia!
“Home sweet apprentice’s home.” Stupid! Silver chastised herself. Apprentice’s home? Was that supposed to be some kind of joke? Just drop the bad humor and stick to what you know. Thankfully, neither of her dates seemed to pay her much mind as they were too engrossed in her room. Thomas’ expression was a bit hard to read, but her best guess was that he was impressed by her love of music and dedication to her, or rather, their Princess. Moonlight was not so difficult.
“Eeee!” The unicorn squealed as she ran up to the body pillow, dragging Thomas along for the ride. “I don’t believe it. You actually managed to find one with Luna in her young cute form!?” It was more of a statement of surprise than a question. “I’m so jealous.”
“Say what?” Thomas asked as he inspected the pillow. The mare printed on the fabric looked just like an anthro version of Luna’s initial design after being blasted by magical friendship. Even as just an image, she appeared a lot smaller than the mare he was used to. In fact, judging by how her body looked so underdeveloped, he reasoned that this must have been how Luna looked in her teenage years. It was growing increasingly difficult for Thomas to believe that a mare this adorable could have ever been left wanting for affection and adoration.
“I don’t blame you,” Silver said proudly as she swaggered up beside the pair, regaining much of her confidence. “It cost me a pretty bit, but it was worth it.”
“No argument here,” Moonlight beamed.
“Huh,” Thomas huffed. Seems like ponies have different standards on what passes for a stalker. That’s mildly distressing. Wanting to change subjects as quickly as possible, Thomas gently elbowed Moonlight’s side to get her attention.
“Huh? Oh.” Moonlight caught the hint and turned to the bat pony. “Silver, sweetie.”
“Yes… Moonhoney,” she tested, earning as satisfying blush from the unicorn.
“Why don’t you go freshen up while we get ready out here?” Moonlight suggested before closing the distance with the smaller mare and planting an extended kiss on the mare’s lips. “Don’t worry,” she whispered. “I’ll get him ready for you.”
The warm contact against her lips caused Silver’s heart to skip a beat. Instantly she took to the air and dashed towards the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
“Quick question,” Thomas stated as he kept his eyes on the door. “Are you just being playful, or do you actually think my hearing is that bad?”
His answer came as the tingle of magic wrapped around his waist, lifting him into the air as Moonlight casually carried him over to the bed. It was most undignified. Without a word she unceremoniously dropped him onto the cushioned bedding, on Luna’s face no less, and proceeded to disrobe of her armor. Thinking he understood, Thomas moved to do the same, only for Moonlight to catch his hand and gently shake her head.
Meanwhile, inside the bathroom, Silver was moving about with speed that could rival a Wonderbolt. Her dress was quickly stripped off and hung on a clothes hanger. Staring at her nude form in the mirror, Silver could only conclude that she looked far too plain for her first time with these two. A quick glance at the counter reminded her that she’d anticipated this possibility hours ago and had slaved over picking out the perfect set of lingerie.
“I hope he likes this,” Silver muttered to herself as she turned around in front of the mirror, examining herself from every possible angle and hoping Thomas would appreciate her use of clothing. She’d settled on a set of see-through lacy bra and panties. Red seemed like the perfect color to convey passion, not to mention the color stood out nicely against her fur. Just feeling the thong slide between her plot cheeks was already causing her to become aroused as her nipples threatened to pierce the fabric of the bra. Next she reached for a vial of perfume for a few subtle spritzes here and there, and then went for a brush for a final touch up. With one last look in the mirror, assuring herself that there was nothing more she could do, Silver took a deep calming breath and announced, “I’m ready!”
“Same here,” the muffled voice of Moonlight answered.
Silver turned from the mirror to face the door, sneaking one last peek at how her plot looked in the panties. Shaking her mind free of all other distractions, the mare gripped the doorknob and carefully twisted and pushed it open to see what awaited her. Moonlight was lying down on her belly such that Silver had a clear view of her entire figure. She was fully nude, with her legs kicking idly in the air while her arms teasingly concealed her nipples. Atop her back sat Thomas, still wearing his pants, as he kneaded his knuckles into Moonlight’s back, eliciting moans of pleasure from the mare.
“Hey there, pretty lady,” Thomas said welcomingly, only to pause as his eyes crawled across her body. “Nice, uh, underwear,” he stammered, much to Silver’s satisfaction. “I was just giving my mare a little massage. D-did you want a turn?”
Silver wanted to answer, but found that her mouth refused to cooperate. Not wanting to look any more like a fool, the mare gave herself a firm slap to the face. Next she struck an alluring pose, identical to one of her favorite pictures of Luna, with her body turned sideways and her tail elevated invitingly high. “A massage, you say?” She batted her eyes playfully. “You weren’t planning on taking advantage of your poor, naïve subordinate, and let your hands roam where no stallion has touched before, were you?”
“… Well now I am,” Thomas quipped back as he slid off Moonlight.
The unicorn gave a disappointed moan before sitting up and scooting over to make room for the new mare. “Why doesn’t the lovely little bat set her tired plot here,” she patted a spot beside her, “and let us help her relax?”
Silver was almost certain that her legs had a mind of their own as they carried her forward, but she didn’t mind. She was too busy drinking in the alluring forms of her soon-to-be lovers. Both looked well-muscled in all the right places, at least from what she could see, but hopefully there was still enough give to make them nice and squishable. She climbed onto the bed, crawling on all fours between them as her tail wafted her aroused musk at both of them. Once she was suitably centered, Silver first lowered her front onto the soft sheets, giving her plot a tantalizing wiggle before dropping her lower half to the bed as well.
Thomas and Moonlight shared a brief nod before moving to their respective positions. Moonlight slung her leg over Silver’s back and gently brushed the tips of her fingers along the membrane of her wings. The bat mare flinched, but soon eased into the unicorn’s comforting touch. Thomas also climbed onto her back. While he was much lighter, he was also facing her legs, meaning he was back to back, or rather, butt to butt with Moonlight. Silver smiled in amusement at this thought before she let out a little squeak as she felt his hands grip around her cheeks.
“Does the little bat like her little massage?” Thomas asked, his voice dripping in satisfaction as he kneaded the flesh around her thighs before traveling up to her rump. His fingers sank nicely into her butt cheeks as he tested them. She was well toned, having the least amount of fat of all the mares he’d touched, which made sense as the weight would just be a hindrance to flying. At the same time, he stroked her firm backside gently, appreciative of her tight muscles.
“Mh hmm,” was all Silver could answer. She felt like she was melting beneath their combined touch.
“What about when I do this?” Moonlight asked as she leaned down and nipped at Silver’s neck.
Silver let out an indecipherable series of squeaks as her answer, earning a chuckle from the unicorn.
“You know,” Moonlight said between nibbles. “Before you came in, I actually undid the spell blocking my stallions’ scent.”
“His-eep!” Silver yelped as Thomas’ hands moved from her buttocks down to her cutie marks. “Scent?”
“Mh hmm,” Moonlight confirmed. “You might not have realized it back when Luna,” she giggled, “had her way with me, but Thomas has a very unusual scent about him.”
“U-un-usual?” Silver struggled to ask.
Moonlight nodded as she nuzzled the crook of Silver’s neck, stealing a brief lick of the other mare’s jaw and eliciting another whimper. “When he gets sweaty, his natural musk becomes an aphrodisiac for ponies.” She hummed sultrily. “Do you want to smell it?”
Silver whimpered anxiously as she looked up at the larger mare straddling her. No sooner did she give the faintest nod before she felt herself encased in an aura of magic. Recognizing it as Moonlight’s, Silver did her best to remain motionless as her partners dismounted her and she was lifted into the air, only to be placed back down with her back leaning against Moonlight’s stomach while Thomas prowled around her legs like a hungry predator. When her eyes met his, he gave his upper lip a slow lick, causing her whole body to shiver in anticipation.
“W-wha…” Silver tried to ask.
Moonlight leaned forward until her head was resting on Silver’s shoulder. “Shh. You’ll like this part.”
Continuing to mimic an animal, Thomas eyed the darkening panties with a nefarious grin. He moved forward and gripped her thighs. Meeting the bat pony’s eyes, Thomas waited for Silver to give a brief nod before he pushed her legs apart to give him full access. Bracing himself on her thighs, Thomas leaned forward until his lips were less than an inch away from her panties before he took a deep sniff.
Silver had been watching the human with rapt attention as Thomas was taking actions her parents had never warned her about, but had to look away when he smelled her like that. Going right for the source as he did was just embarrassing, causing the disastrous scenarios to once more return to Silver’s mind.
“How is she?” Moonlight asked.
“Moon!” Silver snapped.
“How’s she smell?” The unicorn asked unperturbed.
“Strawberry,” Thomas declared in delighted wonder before taking another sniff. “You mares never fail to impress.”
Silver blinked in confusion, but also relief that he hadn’t disliked her musk and tossed her aside while he and Moonlight ran off into the sunset, never to be seen again as they left her cold and alone in the back streets of Manehatten. Note to self: cut down on reading romance stories before bed. “You… like it?” She asked hopefully.
“Only one way to find out.” Thomas reached his fingers beneath either side of the panties and gently slipped them off, earning a gasp from the mare at the sudden loss of insulation of her soaked nethers. Thomas continued sliding her panties down her legs and over her hooves before unceremoniously tossing them off to the side where they wouldn’t get in anyone’s way. He then dove back down and gave Silver’s lower lips an experimental lick, causing her to reflexively buck up into his face. “Oh yeah.” He grinned. “This one’s a keeper.”
Silver braced herself against Moonlight to keep from thrashing around as Thomas went to town on her lips. Not even her past fillyfriends had been this enthusiastic about eating her out, but this pretty colt was exploring her so thoroughly he could probably draw a map later. The way his probing appendage generously lathered across every square inch of her insides, it was like he was looking for some kind of prize inside. Right on cue, his tongue brushed against a rough spot deep within her folds, causing Silver to let out a voiceless cry of ecstasy as she released her climax all over his face.
“Oh my.” Thomas pulled back, once more doing his impersonation of George Takei. “What?” he asked as Moonlight began chuckling.
“You,” she snorted. “You look like you have a milk beard.”
Thomas gently tapped along his face to find where the moisture had covered and soon joined her in laughter.
While initially mortified by the prospect of cumming on a stallion’s face, something her parents’ training had definitely never prepared her for, Silver was soon calmed by the good natured laughter. She opened her mouth to inquire, but sealed it shut when Thomas sat up and leaned forwards towards Moonlight. Moonlight reciprocated and the pair shared a full open mouthed kiss directly above the bat pony. Silver’s lip quivered helplessly with want as she watched the pair’s tongues dance in each other’s mouths, while Moonlight would occasionally take generous swipes along his face to lap up the mare cum.
They’re… tasting me, Silver thought as she felt her loins light on fire. As if reading her mind, the looming pair looked down at the mare held in their mercy as Thomas leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. When she felt his tongue gently prod for entry, she was all too eager to let him in. Her reward was a thick mouthful of her own juices which, surprisingly, really did taste like strawberries. Silver moaned into Thomas’ mouth as her own tongue shot forward, greedily snatching up every last trace she could find with in his maw. When only his natural taste remained, she lapped away all the greedier as she straightened herself up and grabbed the back of his head to hold him close.
“I think she likes it,” Moonlight commented. With her lap now vacant, she scooted forward until her stomach was once more pressed into Silver’s back as she resumed nibbling at the bat pony’s neck. However, she was forced to stop when Silver pulled Thomas away, fixing him with a serious glare as she held him in place.
“Pants.” The bat pony spoke as if the word were some vile curse. “Off.”
“Yes ma’am.” Thomas nodded obediently as he rose to his knees and fumbled for the waistband.
However, he apparently did not move fast enough for Silver’s liking as the mare pushed him down into the sheets beneath him. With wings imposingly outstretched, Silver briefly loomed over her prize, as it was her turn to be the predator. She had always been brought up to be gentle with stallions, but something deep down was compelling her to be more assertive. With a toothy grin, the bat pony fixed her gaze on the hidden bulge and dove down with impatient haste. With skills that would put a French waiter to shame, she had slipped the human’s trousers off his waist and down his legs in one swift motion, and somehow without letting them get caught on a single wrinkle or moving from her spot.
“How did you do that?” Thomas asked in understandable awe as he propped himself up on his elbows.
“Ai am Prench,” Silver boasted in a thicker accent. “Ite is vhat ve do.”
“No kidding.” The human could only grin dumbly at the mare above him. But Silver had stopped listening as her gazed fixed on the final article of clothing her new coltfriend was wearing, the loincloth bearing Luna’s sigil. “Oh. Right.” Thomas moved his hands down to remove that last impediment, only for Silver to catch his wrist.
“No,” she ordered. “Leave ite on.”
“Yes ma’am,” Thomas submissively agreed, not in the mood to earn a mare’s wrath this evening. Well this script flipped pretty quickly.
Silver leaned down and experimentally pressed her nose into the fabric concealing his bulge until she had coaxed the head out of its hiding spot. She’d had a brief look at it before, but that time was different. Then his small yet alien erection had been meant for Moonhoney. Now it was all hers. With an excited grin, Silver pulled at the waistband just enough for his little balls to pop out so that she had the entire package at her disposal. His penis was small, like a colt’s, but his balls seemed especially so compared to other colts his height.
“Go easy, now,” Moonlight warned gently. “I don’t really want to be the one to carry the two of you to Luna and explain why neither of you can walk.”
“She liiiiiies!” Thomas hissed under hushed breath, earning a chuckle from both mares.
“Don’t vorry,” Silver said as she nuzzled his groin and took in his scent. “Ai’ll be gentile,” she assured, only to add in a whisper, “at first.”
Without further ado, the mare extended her tongue and gave a long and slow lick of his shaft. She couldn’t place any specific flavor, but that didn’t stop it from tasting amazing. Lowering her snout, she pressed her nose all the harder into the underside of his phallus as she lapped at his little balls. Thomas’ grunts of pleasure told her she was on the right track as her hand maneuvered over the top of his dick and her fingers explored the contours of his veiny skin. It twitched at her touch and, on a hunch, she gently gripped it against her palm and found his heart beat. I… it’s like I have his heart in my hand, she thought eagerly.
Silver gave a low yelp of surprise into his sack as she turned around to find an orange horn poking out from behind her elevated plot. Moonhoney must have really liked how I tasted, she thought appreciatively as she felt the unicorn’s tongue probe even deeper into her marehood. Relieved that no pony was being neglected, Silver returned her attention to her, as they say, stallion meat. She opened her mouth wide directly over the tip, teasing it with her hot breath before sliding the first inch in.
“Oh god!” Thomas threw his head back in pleasure as he felt his member slip into the mare’s hot and moist mouth. He looked down to find that she had just pulled off to the head, leaving a glistening trail of saliva in her wake, only to drop back down even further than before. Whatever practice she’d had must have worked, because Silver was swirling her tongue around his head and shaft like a professional. She was also salivating as she enjoyed her meal. Soon she had engulfed the human’s entire dick in her mouth as he thrust his hips up to meet her quickening bobs.
“S-Silver!” Thomas cried out in warning.
Silver had a pretty good idea what he wanted to say. Keeping his dick in place, she looked up at him with eyes pleading for him to not hold back as the tip poked at the back of her throat.
Thomas gritted his teeth and gave one last cry before pumping his load into her mouth. Again she was unable to place a specific flavor as his thick, creamy seed filled her mouth. All she knew was that she liked it and wanted more.
The instant Silver tasted Thomas’ warm sticky seed, she released her own climax into Moonlight’s mouth. Both mares eagerly lapped up their treats and moaned in ecstasy. However, Silver was far from satisfied as she let his dick pop out of her mouth and flop lifelessly before her. Giving an audible gulp as the thick substance slid down her throat, Silver met Thomas’ gaze with hopeful anticipation. She knew a mare’s first time with a stallion was supposed to be all about his pleasure, but since this male wasn’t a stallion, she hoped he wouldn’t be angry with her for being a little selfish after already being the center of attention.
Thomas felt an arrow shoot through his heart at the mare’s puppy-dog pout and looked up to the horn poking out from behind her rump. “Moonhoney,” he called, chuckling lightly at the name.
Moonlight slowly poked her head out from behind the bat mare’s plot cheeks, her expression that of a deer caught in the headlights at what was apparently to be her new nickname. “Yes?”
Thomas glanced over towards the nightstand and Moonlight immediately bounded across the bed and retrieved a pair of water glasses that Silver hadn’t noticed before. Crawling on her knees, Moonlight handed one glass to Thomas while keeping the one levitating in her magic to herself. They tilted their glasses in cheers and proceeded to chug their drinks around a befuddled Silver.
Like magic, Thomas’ little soldier had sprung back to attention, lightly smacking her in the nose. Seeing Thomas sit back up so quickly, it didn’t take long for Silver to realize that was an energy drink. However, something about the renewed confidence in his smile stirred her own passions and she set her hand on his shoulder. Leaning forward until their foreheads were almost touching, Silver said, in no uncertain terms, “Mownt. Me.”
“Jesus, that accent’s hot,” was Thomas’ simple reply.
While she didn’t know what this Jesus was, Silver inferred through context that it did not constitute a refusal. With an air of authority, Silver ordered her partners to hold their positions while she flipped herself over and around so that Thomas had a clear view of her backside, while she had a clear view of Moonlight’s marehood. Growling in her throat, Silver propped herself up on her elbows as she lowered herself down for a better look of the unicorn’s orange slit, smacking her lips to hold back the drool as she drank in the feminine musk. However, upon realizing there was something missing, Silver halted her advance and craned her head over her shoulder to glare warningly at her stallion as she waggled her plot at him.
Not needing to be told twice, Thomas slapped his hands down onto Silver’s cutie marks as he moved into position and let his hard cock fall between her hot supple ass cheeks, sandwiching it between her buns. “Like this?” Thomas asked confidently.
Mares were supposed to be in charge when it came to sex. That much was common sense. Silver’s friends, family, and even teachers had confirmed as much. Stallions might be on top, but that didn’t absolve mares of their responsibility to take the lead and ensure her lover was fully satisfied. Yet Thomas seemed utterly oblivious to the rules. Then again, with Moonlight giving no signs of disapproval, it was more likely that he just didn’t care and was just doing as he pleased to make them both happy.
Her nose still full of mare musk, Silver gave another low growl as she grinned back at him. Iou know, maybe zer is somezing to zis human style, after all. Deciding to leave him to his work, Silver returned her attention to Moonlight’s glistening slit.
Lining himself up with her winking entrance, Thomas pressed the head of his dick into Silver’s moist tunnel. He grunted as her walls gripped his penis, wrapping it in their soft rapture as they winked around him. Each pussy he’d had had felt as different as it tasted, but all were as heavenly as the last. This one was no different as Thomas felt compelled, nay, obligated to cry out in joy as he filled her up. Silver let out a muffled cry as he gently sank another inch of his length into her. Looking up to make sure he hadn’t hurt her, Thomas only found Moonlight spasming as little sparks of light shot from her horn while she gripped the back of Silver’s mane and pressed her muzzle deeper into her own marehood.
“Alright then.” Thomas chuckled as he looked back down, past the supple gray ass cheeks, and down to his partially sheathed member. He sunk himself the rest of the way in until he felt his balls press into her inner thighs.
Silver nearly gagged on Moonlight’s juices as her breath caught in her throat. The unicorn allowed her to pull away as her mind came to terms with what just happened. She’d been filled. It wasn’t as big as any cooler she’d ever used, but none of them had ever made her feel so satisfyingly full as Thomas’ burning tool. Perhaps fazer vas vight? She grinned. Maybe zer really is nozing zat compares to flesh and blood.
She looked up to find two pairs of eyes watching her in concern as Moonlight reached down to scratch her behind the ears. “Fine,” she gasped with a silly grin as she leaned into the other mare’s hand. “Ai’m fine.”
Moonlight tilted her head and smiled affectionately down at the mare between her legs. Gently grabbing both sides of her jaw, the unicorn maneuvered the bat pony back into position and gave the human an affirming nod.
Thomas nodded right back and began pulling out until only the tip remained, only to slam back in at full force, earning another muffled moan. His balls were beginning to stir from the stimulation in his cock, but he wasn’t about to let himself cum first. Instead he divided his attention between thrusting and focusing more effort onto kneading Silver’s cutie marks. Her twitching pussy told him that she was close and that it would only take one last push to drive her over the edge.
“Silver,” Thomas said through gritted teeth as he leaned over her back. Silver looked back over her shoulder, but kept her lips against Moonlight’s. With a long exhale, Thomas bore his teeth in a sinister grin as he put his plan into action. Giving her tail a swift yank, he told her, “I know Luna’s gonna love fucking this ass as much as I am.”
Silver’s eyes threatened to pop out of her skull, only to roll into the back of her head as her orgasm overtook her and her wings shot out.
Feeling her body stiffen as her pussy clenched tight and sprayed his thighs with her mare cum, it only took Thomas a few more thrusts to ejaculate into the mare’s pussy. Timing their orgasms would come later. For now the human collapsed onto the bat mare’s back. He was only vaguely aware of Moonlight’s own cry of joy as Silver brought her to climax as well.
“Amazing,” the unicorn exhaled after coming down from her orgasmic high. Looking down from her spot against the pillows, Moonlight cooed at the sight of her two lovers only partially conscious in a heap between her legs. Not wanting to disturb their rest, she lit her horn and carefully brought the two of them up and set them down over her like they were an exotic blanket.
Silver’s head nestled nicely between the unicorn’s breasts, her wings hanging limply by her sides, while Thomas, still inside the bat pony, rubbed his cheek affectionately at the space between her wings. As the smell of their escapades predominated the air, Moonlight’s horn went out and the three of them let out a unified sigh of contentment as they drifted off to sleep.
Thomas awoke in a very familiar position, with his chest against a mare’s back and his dick still buried inside her. He heard a contented moan as a familiar pair of butt cheeks grinded against his groin. Finally he opened his eyes to the silver-gray fur of Silver Bell, who was staring happily at him out of the corner of her eye.
“Morning, sleepy head,” the bat mare greeted with a Prench titter, gripping the human’s palm set around her waist.
Thomas smiled and nuzzled into the back of the mare’s neck, enjoying her warmth. “Morning to you too.”
Silver sighed happily. The human’s bare skin was no less pleasant than it was yesterday. “Ai think Ai could get used tou vaking up laike zis.”
“You and me both,” Moonlight announced. Standing beside the bed, she clapped her hands together with an eager grin. “Up and at em, you two,” she said as she tore the sheets from their bodies, instantly exposing them to the chill of the room and causing them to huddle closer.
The human and bat mare tried to protest, but Moonlight would have none of it as she opened the curtains, letting the last light of the setting sun fall upon them.
“Sorry, you two, but working ponies have to get used to waking up at working hours.”
“I already get up at working hours,” Thomas whined into Silver’s fur. “Can’t I just get five more minutes?”
“Ai…” Silver stuttered, realizing where Thomas’ morning wood was. “Ai concur.”
But Moonlight was not fooled. With the grace and dexterity befitting someone with years of combat training, she shoved Silver off of Thomas’ rod and quickly set about the task of his morning relief. The added flavor of the bat mare’s juices was an appreciated bonus, which she generously shared with the concubine-to-be in a nice bit of female on female affection. Then, returning to command mode, she ordered the others into the bathroom where they jumped into the shower to wash off yesterday’s activities.
“Thomas,” Silver said, presenting her partially flared wings to him. “Could you vosh mai back?”
“I… sure,” Thomas eventually answered as he grabbed the soap and wash rag. As soon as he finished lathering up the cloth, Moonlight seized the soap from behind him, her intentions for his back made clear.
“Are zere any activities Ai should bee aware off?” Silver asked as she leaned into Thomas’ scrubbing. “A bitt lover.”
Thomas complied, dragging the cloth to just above her tail. “Actually, while we’re here, I was hoping to talk to you two about some stuff,” Thomas said, all the while Moonlight was lathering up his back and shoulders.
“Shoot,” Moonlight said, her gaze alternating between the two finely shaped plots in front of her. “What’s on your mind?”
“It’s about this herding thing,” Thomas said, pausing to collect his thoughts. “Since the three of us were, you know… together…”
“Vhy are you so embarrassed?” Silver asked worriedly. She shook her rump for his viewing pleasure, hoping to entice the little stallion into reconsidering any last minute misgivings. “Itt sounded as zough you enjoyed yourself.”
“Not at all,” Thomas corrected. “You were great. You both were,” he added with a glance over his shoulder at a smiling unicorn. “I just wanted to know, ya know, where we stand.”
“Ai see.” Silver nodded and glanced back at the orange unicorn. “Moonhoney?”
With a good natured sigh, Moonlight rolled her eyes and leaned down until her nose was pressed against the human’s ear. “Do you like her?”
“I…” Thomas hesitated, caught off guard. I think we’re moving a little bit too fast. “I do, but…”
“But?” Silver asked.
Seeing the panic in her stallion’s eyes, Moonlight realized she’d inadvertently pushed him into a corner. “Sorry. Really sorry,” she said to Thomas and Silver respectively. “But the lead mare usually makes the invitation while the stallion, or stallions,” she glanced off to the side, “get the right of veto.”
“Alright,” Thomas answered after a moment’s pause. “I get that, but don’t you think we’re moving a little, you know, fast?”
Silver blinked questioningly and pulled away from Thomas so she could turn to face the herd. “How would this be fast?” She glanced rapidly between the mare and man, her mind racing with all the mistakes she might have made to warrant such a question.
“Ugh,” Moonlight groaned as she saw the rising fear in Silver’s eyes, as well as the worry in Thomas’ at the realization that he’d upset her. “Humans tend to court each other over a longer period than ponies,” she explained for them both before facing down at Thomas. “For ponies, our date yesterday would have been the first step in formal courting. She’s not in the herd yet, but…” Moonlight paused to consider how to phrase her next words. “I… I like her.” She smiled at Silver.
Silver’s chest swelled as her wings fidgeted, though she remained silent to hear what the unicorn had to say.
“She’s smart, cute; knows her way around a gathering of nobles, which we can all agree will come in handy in the future.” Moonlight waited for Silver and Thomas to finish nodding. “But more than that, I just like her,” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “We might have had a rocky start, but she’s proven herself a loyal friend and I’d like her to be a part of my life.”
Thomas knew what Moonlight was thinking but not saying. He knew that she was thinking about their status as reincarnated lovers. And while it bothered him the way the mare just seemed to be going with the flow just because an authority figure told her it was destiny, what bothered him more were his own feelings telling him to do the same. I like Silver. It was just so easy to say. He liked Silver and she seemed to like him right back. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more right it felt to picture himself, Moonlight, Luna, and Silver all sleeping in the same bed together. If this was pony Destiny, then it already had a hold of him.
“Thomas,” Silver said. As the human turned to face her, she found her gaze focused on his eyes, those beady little emeralds that seemed to hold so many secrets. “I do not wish to pressure you,” she said, free of her Prench accent. “And I would be fine if, Luna willing, we simply work as colleagues in service of Her Highness. But I want you to know that I really do like you.” The words flowed smoothly as she glanced up at Moonlight. “You and your overprotective bodyguard.”
“Proudly protective, if you don’t mind?” Moonlight asked with mock haughtiness.
“Of course.” Silver bobbed her head in a low bow before returning her focus to Thomas and seized his hands in her gentle fingers. “Whatever decision you make, know that I’ll be happy just knowing we can still be together as friends.”
With a heavy sigh, Thomas looked up past Silver’s breasts into her indigo eyes and gave her his best reassuring smile. “In that case, I decide that we need a few more dates before making any final decisions,” he declared confidently before leaning forward and seizing a peck from the unsuspecting mare’s lips. Destiny be damned, he thought. We’re gonna do this our own way and we’re gonna like it.
However, Thomas didn’t make it far as the bat pony immediately seized the back of his head and pulled him back for a much deeper kiss. For Silver, Thomas’ words were as good as formal acceptance and she planned to share with him just how grateful she was for his consideration. It wasn’t long after that the bat mare and man found themselves engulfed in the embrace of the unicorn as she teased their respective wings and ears. It was a long shower.
Although they briefly lost track of time, the trio managed to clean themselves up, get dressed, and make it to the dining hall just in time for breakfast with the Princesses and other concubines. It appeared that the trio had also failed to properly wash themselves off as the keen noses of the ponies at the table immediately picked up on their earlier activities. Questions, teasing, and congratulations were hurled without mercy as the trio struggled to eat their breakfast in peace. The task was made all the harder as Silver did her very best to pretend that Luna wasn’t shooting her romantic glances whenever the alicorn thought she wasn’t looking. After which Talon decided she’d hang out with her solar concubine buddies and just leave the new trio to themselves to become better acquainted, but not before Luna reset Thomas’ wards.
**********
“They’re certainly moving fast,” Steel Hoof said as he stretched out in the hall.
“Well they gotta,” Red Amber commented as he leaned against the minotaur’s muscled arm. “They’re catching up on lost time. Besides, Luna’s still not fully recovered yet. She’s gonna need her full harem pretty quick and I don’t think they can really afford to wait as long as they’ve been doing.”
“What’s the matter, Amby?” Talon asked with a swipe of her lion tail to the stallion’s rear. “Worried you might get volunteered?”
“Damn right, I am,” Amber said with a nervous chuckle. “I don’t know about you, but I’m rather fond of flying, and also walking. I’d rather not be like one of those over eager whorses who come in loud and proud and get carried off in a wheelbarrow.”
“Hear him talk, you’d almost think that were a bad thing,” Steel said as he pulled Amber in close. “Don’t worry, little buddy, I’ll protect you from the scary alicorn.”
“But he does raise a valid point,” Misty Glade added. “They’re really going to have to start interviewing applicants a lot faster. Start with the ones who are basically a sure thing and start bringing em in two or three at a time.”
“Sound theory,” Talon said skeptically. “But I’m not sure the chimp really has the nerve for that kind of rush job.”
“What about Silver?” Misty asked. “She seems to know her way around things. If Thomas can’t handle the job, maybe he should step down for somepony who can?”
Talon frowned. As much as she liked the little guy, there was no denying that he really wasn’t leadership material. There wasn’t anything wrong with that. His timid nature just made him more of a follower. On top of that, Silver had literally been bred for this kind of work, not to mention that she was a bat pony. It all just fit into place that she should take the lead. “I’ll talk to Moonbutt about it later, but I think we’ll need to wait until after Sweet Wings is official.”
The other concubines agreed and they went on their merry way.
**********
“Oh… my!” Silver gasped as she sat naked on Luna’s bed. She’d been reading the sample chapters offered from Thomas and Moonlight’s book, Lotus Blossom. Unsurprisingly, her wings had been driven stiff almost from the start.
“You’re pretty much the first one to read it outside of Tali,” Moonlight said as she watched Silver expectantly, studying her every flinch for signs of disapproval at what she read.
“Any thoughts or constructive criticism would be more than appreciated,” Thomas added with an anxious fidget from his position beside Moonlight at the writing desk.
“I…” Silver finally looked up from the papers. The corner of her lip was twitching and threatening to grow into a smile. “This is wonderful!”
“You mean it?” Moonlight asked, bouncing excitedly in her seat. “You really like it?”
Silver glanced to her left at the extended wing. “In a manner of speaking,” she giggled. The story was good and she was happy to see Moonlight so excited, but Thomas, even by his standards, seemed oddly neutral.
“So… No typos or comments?” he asked warily.
“None that I could see,” Silver replied, eyeing Thomas carefully. “Why? Was there something I missed?” she asked, directing her question at Moonlight.
“Thomas?” Moonlight asked, leaning forward for a better view of his face.
“What?”
“Oh,” Moonlight said in understanding as she straightened back into position and gave Silver a reassuring smile. “Thomas just prefers it when somepony can point out a few flaws in his work. He likes making the corrections to help improve things.”
“I see,” Silver said understandingly. “Well, if I must nitpick,” she smiled as she noticed Thomas lean in. “I think this sentence here could use a little reworking.” She held out the papers and pointed to the line in question. “For some reason it just sounds awkward to me.”
Thomas retrieved the papers and showed the spot to Moonlight. After a brief period of discussion, they agreed that the line did sound awkward and promptly revised it to Silver’s approval.
“So is this what you two do all day?” Silver asked as her eyes roamed across the familiar room. “Not to say I am not enjoying myself, but…”
“Umm…” Thomas looked up at Moonlight for help, unable to think of anything on his own.
“How about a game?” Moonlight suggested.
“I am up for games,” Silver said as she bounced on the mattress. “What’d you have in mind?”
“Thomas,” Moonlight said as she turned a predatory eye on the human.
“Moonhoney?” He asked cautiously.
“Stories wouldn’t happen to be the only thing you brought over from the human country, would they?”
“Human games?” Silver asked in intrigue. “Now that sounds like fun. Anything for three or more players?”
Put on the spot, Thomas could only blurt the first thing to come to mind. “Twister.”
“Twister?” The mares questioned as one. “What’s that?”
“The idea,” Thomas began as he stood and gestured to the carpet, ready to explain his alien game. “Is that you have this paper mat with a whole bunch of large colored spots on it. You also have this spinner that points not only to the different colors, but also body parts.”
“What kind of parts?” Silver asked, earning a soft glare from Thomas.
“Nothing perverted, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“I think you might have a different idea of what qualifies as perverted than I do, but go ahead,” Silver teased. She knew how Thomas would interpret her tone. She also knew how into things he got whenever he was called upon to explain things from the human country.
“Things like hands, knees, the nose, or other stuff like that. Like, let’s say I spun the spinner.” He spun the imaginary spinner on the floor. “And it said left hand yellow. I place my hand onto a yellow spot on the mat.” He moved as he described, picking a random spot on the carpet. “And for the remainder of the game I have to keep my hand on the yellow spot until the spinner tells me to move it somewhere else. If I remove my hand, or any other part of me, from the designated spot, then I lose.”
Silver nodded along. “So you just keep pressing different parts to different spots on the mat.” She envisioned herself twisted into an unbearably awkward position, only for the spinner to tell her to make some impossible move and cause her to collapse in a heap. “Would not that get uncomfortable after a while?”
“That’s the idea,” Thomas said with a shrug. “Last player standing wins.”
“And you can play this in a group?” Moonlight asked.
“Sure. I mean, it’s been years since I played it, but I’m pretty sure it’s a lot more fun with more players.” Thomas was glad that the mares seemed interested. However, the more he studied their expressions, watching the gears turn in their minds, the more nervous he became.
Silver was the first to jump into action, her braless breasts bouncing as she did so. She quickly walked over to the bell post and pulled the one marked for general service. A butler arrived and stood patiently outside the door as Silver gave her instructions, requesting the butler bring up a large sheet of paper, a piece of cardboard, various paints and drawing instruments, and other materials all to very exact specifications. Thomas and Moonlight didn’t have long to look impressed by how efficiently Silver addressed the butler before he returned with the desired crafting supplies.
The next half hour was spent with Silver drawing the outlines of circles on the paper while she, Moonlight, and Thomas all negotiated on what colors there should be and what body parts should be included in the spinner. It was a debate befitting any house of politics, only with fewer asses. Thomas had compromised that hooves would be an acceptable and universally understood substitute for feet. Moonlight was insistent that flanks be included, but had to concede that such a thing would be impractical with the inclusion of knees, and so agreed to Silver’s proposal of the general pelvic region. They also agreed to include slots in the spinner for wings and horns, but agreed that any player without such appendages would have to re-spin. Finally they had come to an agreement. Moonlight wrote the rough draft of the rules while Thomas and Silver did their best to color in the circles.
“You’re really excited about this, aren’t ya?” Thomas asked as he casually scribbled his brush over the yellow spot.
“And you are not?” Silver asked as she worked on a blue spot.
“Agreed,” Moonlight said from her spot across the floor as she listed out the rules as neatly as possible. “Honestly I’m embarrassed no pony thought to do this sooner.”
“It’s just a game,” Thomas countered.
“A game brought to you by the same minds behind Halloween,” Moonlight said, sounding like she was impersonating a movie announcer. “And one simple enough for the whole family to enjoy.”
“Now let us not get ahead of ourselves, Moonhoney,” Silver said gently, never tearing her eyes from her work. Already she had twelve circles to Thomas’ eight. “It would be most foolhardy for an up-and-coming entrepreneur to release a product to the public without first testing it out themselves.”
“Very true.” Moonlight paused from her writing to nod at Silver. “We owe it to our customers to ensure that this is a product worth purchasing.”
“When did we become entrepreneurs?” Thomas asked.
“That butler arrived about forty minutes ago?” Moonlight asked.
“Thereabouts.” Silver nodded in agreement, redoubling her coloring efforts.
Thomas decided to refrain from any further questions and just go with the flow. Moonlight quickly finished her writing and joined them in coloring. The pattern was red, purple, blue, green, yellow, and orange. Once the paint was dry, the only matter left to settle would be who would go first.
“Seniority,” Moonlight declared. “Those who’ve been in the castle longest get to go first. That’s me, Thomas, and then you,” she said, gesturing at Silver. They agreed and, after the unicorn stripped down to her linens, knelt beside the spinner and flicked the thin piece of wood. “Left hoof green,” she announced and set her hoof down on a green circle near the middle of the row. “Easy enough, so far.”
“My turn,” Thomas said as he flicked the same piece of wood and watched as it spun. “Left hand blue.” He approached the mat and squatted down until he picked a blue spot directly beside Moonlight’s hoof. “Wait a second. If I’m over here, how do I get the spinner if both my hands are in use?”
“And that is exactly why we need a trial run,” Silver announced before picking up Moonlight’s list of rules and held a pencil on standby. “Should there be a designated spinner, somepony to watch as everypony else makes fools of themselves?”
“How about we just omit left hands from the roster so ponies always have something to spin with?” Moonlight suggested.
“I think you’re allowed to remove a hand from a spot temporarily if it lets you flip the spinner,” Thomas chimed in.
“I like that one,” Silver said as she scribbled the note down. “Alright. Now it is my turn.” She said as she flicked the spinner. “Left elbow green.” Smiling broadly, the mare moved up to the mat and crouched down with her back turned toward the others as she picked a spot near the edge. It was a shameless excuse to present her covered flanks for the others to view, but the bat mare had already rationalized that this was exactly the kind of fun this game was meant for.
And thus the game went on. Twenty turns down the line and Thomas and company had moved halfway across the mat. Somehow Thomas had found himself with his butt arched high in the air while his front splayed above the mat. To compound his plight, Silver was positioned directly beneath him with her butt against his chin, her tail tickling his throat and chest, wings spread for balance, and nose pressed dangerously close to his loincloth. Moonlight had somehow coiled herself around them both with her nose pressed against Silver’s left flank, arm worked between the other mare’s legs, and back twisted very uncomfortably alongside them as Silver did her best to support the unicorn with her extended wing.
“So,” Moonlight winced. “You two having fun?”
“Silver keeps licking me,” Thomas complained as the bat mare finished her latest dab at his inner thigh.
“Stop licking,” Moonlight urged. “That’s cheating… I think.”
“It is not my fault you have such a divine taste,” Silver tittered. “Besides, I don’t recall the rules saying anything about licking.”
Moonlight readied herself to argue further, but then realized the opening she was presented with and gave Thomas a playful grin. Before he could inquire further, she shot her tongue out and tasted along his cheek. “Mmh,” she moaned. “You’re right.”
“Hey!” Thomas whined, trying to shake off the assault on both fronts. “Now that’s double teaming. You can’t do that.”
“It’s not in the ruuule booook,” Silver teased in a sing-song voice as she nuzzled his groin.
“Agh,” Thomas gasped as he gritted his teeth. “Of course you realize this means war.”
Silver was about to ask what Thomas meant, only to shiver as she felt his smooth skin slide up her back. Next she felt a boney pressure, presumably his chin, against her tail bone, followed by the briefest tug at the base of her tail. Silver went rigid and her eyes shrunk to pinpricks. She dared not look behind her for fear of having her suspicions confirmed.
“Thomas,” Moonlight cautioned. “Let’s not do anything rash, alright?”
With utmost rashness, Thomas yanked at the tail between his teeth. Silver gave a short yelp before falling out beneath them. Spitting the hairs from his mouth, Thomas looked down to examine his work and beamed in pride. The bat mare was groaning as her body splayed out across the mat. She was giving him the stink eye, but the creeping smile on her lips suggested she wasn’t too angry.
“You are cruel,” Silver said through gritted teeth.
Thomas smiled, beaming as if she’d praised him. “I’ve been called worse. Also, looks like you’re out.”
With a stinging flick of her tail against Thomas’ chin, the bat mare did her best to crawl out from under him and stand beside the mat. Silver enjoyed the envious looks the others gave her as she stretched, popping the various kinks from her back. She also saw fit to turn her back on them and touch her toes. On an unrelated note, Moonlight suddenly lost her footing and fell, accidentally taking Thomas with her.
As the human rested atop the unicorn, face buried between her breasts as his body rose and fell with her breathing, the pair soon burst out into giggles. The bat mare quickly joined them on the floor, cozying up beside the unicorn and resting her head on the larger mare’s shoulder. They stayed there for a while, unmoving and enjoying each other’s body heat as they swam in one another’s eyes.
Silver was the first to break the silence with a soft giggle. “This is nice.”
“No argument here,” Thomas said with a smirk, nuzzling his face between Moonlight’s breasts. “Mattress and pillows all in one package. Mares make the best bedding.”
“I agree,” Silver sighed, nuzzling closer against Moonlight and stroking her hand across the mare’s muscled stomach.
“Is that all I am to you two?” Moonlight asked in mock hurt as her hand casually stroked along Silver’s wing. “Just some cheap mattress to sleep on?”
“Not at all,” Thomas assured as he gave Silver a lascivious look. “Beds are for other things, too.”
“I am not complaining, but there is one thing I would like to say before we get any more carried away,” Silver added hesitantly.
Picking up on the mares’ movements, Thomas joined in with gentle caresses to their jaws, earning very satisfying sounds from his two lovers. “Go for it.”
Silver swallowed the lump in her throat. This question had been plaguing her all night and she decided that now was as good a time as any. “Pardon me if this sounds a bit presumptuous, but is there anything I need to know about wooing Princess Luna?”
“I see,” Luna said seriously. Night court had concluded and she was now resting in her bed with Moonlight in her left arm and Thomas in her right. Silver had done her part to tend to her Princess before dismissing herself, seemingly paranoid about overstaying her welcome. That was a while ago and Thomas and Moonlight had just finished explaining what they had done all night and what Silver had asked of them. “What did you say?”
Moonlight answered first. “That you’re the sort of mare who likes to take charge. You also like a pony who can make you laugh.”
“You’re also a cuddle bug who likes to role play,” Thomas added, pressing himself into Luna’s side.
Luna grinned. “And what was her response?”
“Kind of weird,” Thomas answered uncertainly. “I said her best bet would be to wine and dine you like she would anyone else, but I don’t think she really understood.” He leaned up and looked over at Moonlight, silently asking for help.
“I noticed that too,” the unicorn agreed. “It sounded like she’s got this mental image of herself just bowing down and completely submitting to you and, well...” she trailed off.
“You just using her like a fuck toy and nothing else,” Thomas finished.
Luna chuckled halfheartedly. “Such an image is hardly unwelcome, but I find it upsetting that this is all she expects to come of this post. Surely the House of Bell would have instructed her better.”
“Chinese whispers,” Thomas said to the confusion of the mares. “You whisper something in someone’s ear. They don’t hear it quite right and pass it on to the next person down the line. It goes on like that for a while with each new telling being further and further from the original until it becomes completely different by the end.”
Luna’s frown deepened as she took in his words. “Rumors,” she surmised. “And you think this is what has become of House Bell’s teachings?”
Thomas sighed soberly. “A thousand years is a lot of time to hold a single message. Frankly I’d be surprised if it didn’t get at least a little twisted.”
“Well that doesn’t sound too bad,” Moonlight posited. “All you have to do is tell her what the original message was, right?”
“It’s not that simple,” Luna said. “Even with common rumors, it is difficult for ponies to accept the truth after believing the lie or misunderstanding for an extended period. But this is a deeply held belief passed down over a thousand years. It will not be so easily shaken.”
“I guess so,” Moonlight conceded. “Come to think of it, even by bat pony standards she sounded extreme in how she seems to idolize you.”
A minute of silence passed as the mares and man contemplated the dilemma they now faced until Thomas had a thought.
“What if we use that against her?”
“Pardon?” Luna asked.
“If she thinks of you like a goddess, then just telling her otherwise probably won’t be enough,” he reasoned as he pulled himself into a sitting position. “You guys need to explain things to me before I get them, but what if it’s the reverse with her? What if we did something to, you know, show her you like to be treated more normal?”
Luna nodded thoughtfully. “Interesting, but how would that be used ‘against her’, as you described?”
“I was thinking of this show I used to watch, Gargoyles,” Thomas explained. “In it, this character named Goliath was put under a spell that made him have to obey anyone who held the pages with the spell on it. The counter spell was destroyed, so this other character realized that if they couldn’t undo the spell, they’d use it. So she took the pages in her hand and ordered Goliath to act for the rest of his life like he wasn’t under a spell. Then boom. It worked.”
“Order her to treat the Pr-I mean Luna like she might treat a common mare?” Moonlight asked, correcting herself.
The Princess touched her chin thoughtfully. “The base idea holds merit,” she said, though didn’t sound as though she were fully convinced. “But even then she might think that she is only putting on an act of some sort.”
Thomas looked disparaged, only to perk up with another idea as a grin grew across his face and he beamed down at Luna.
“That look in your eye,” Luna said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. “It gives me chills.” There was a hint of excitement in her voice.
“Looking at it a different way,” Thomas began. “Normal is just another way of saying equal. Equal partnership and all that. But what if it weren’t equal?” His grin grew as a low chuckle escaped his throat. “What if it was unequal, but not like she’s expecting?”
“Go on,” Luna said, her eyes full of intrigue. When Thomas had finished explaining his idea, she yanked him down, body wedged between her mammoth breasts as she kissed him aggressively. Moonlight, despite her training, had hesitated long enough to also be caught off guard by the alicorn’s advances. The assault of their lips was short-lived; however, as Luna demanded they begin practicing for their upcoming scheme.
**********
It was finally Saturday, the night Silver had been promised as the next step in her initiation. She’d tried to press the others for more information, but the solar concubines insisted not to know while Thomas and Moonlight started laughing whenever the subject came up. It did nothing to ease her nerves when they said there was nothing to worry about, especially when she noticed the Princesses had started laughing too.
Are they mocking me? She’d thought more than once. Have I already failed, only to be kept around for their continued amusement? Those thoughts were never suffered for long as she’d assured herself that somepony as wonderful as Luna would never do such a thing.
Now she stood outside the door to Luna’s chambers, sweating bullets in her new and thoroughly cleaned loincloth while the night guards on either side did their best not to notice the jittering mare before them. She’d been told to arrive at this very minute, which was considerably later than usual, and also without eating first. As she arrived, she noted that a maid had just departed the room, likely having just delivered breakfast.
She is already ready, Silver reasoned, imagining Luna having already been properly brushed, scrubbed, and dressed to perfection. The image was small consolation to not being able to do the deed herself, as she’d come to savor the chances to brush the Princess’ mane and scrub her fur free of all unsightliness. Her mind had wandered, as it had a tendency to do, to imagining what perilous task the Princess had in store for her to determine her worth in satisfying the boundless lust of an alicorn.
Among the more persistent imaginings involved the Princess using Silver like a toy, impaling her lean little body on her massive stallion cock and rutting her like she was little more than a masturbation aid. Many such thoughts had bled over into her dreams, the very memory of which caused her wings to twitch and her tail to partially flag. She’d always had dreams like that, but they’d become more intense since Luna’s return, leaving her paranoid of what the Princess must think of her for holding such lewd thoughts, even if it was why she was here to begin with. The long held ideal of Luna simply refused to go away.
The door cracked open and Thomas poked his head out. “You’re on time. Good.”
“Naturally,” Silver curtsied in her concubine uniform. “I am ready to begin my duties.”
Thomas made an amused face, which Silver took to mean that he didn’t think she was. She held her chin up defiantly. “Whatever tasks my Princess has for me, I shall carry them out with obedience and humility,” she declared boldly.
“That might not be as easy as you imagine,” Luna called from behind the door in a teasing tone Silver found unbefitting of her station.
With a roll of his eyes, Thomas opened the door a bit wider and motioned for Silver to enter. She did, marching forward with the proud dignity of a soldier going to war, imagining herself facing a series of perilous obstacles to prove her devotion to her Princess. Her gaze immediately fell on Luna, naturally eye-catching as she was, and the bat pony’s heart skipped a beat as the lock of the door clicked.
Luna was not dressed, her fur was matted in several places, like she forgot to shower after some grueling exercise, and her starless, lifeless mane hung limply down her back and shoulders with too many split ends to count. This alone was a travesty, no doubt the result of some criminal behavior which would easily rouse the entire bat pony population into a frenzy of bloodlust, but Silver quickly rid herself of such thoughts to focus on the here and now. Luna, Princess of the Night and savior of the bat pony tribe, was standing before an alicorn sized ponyquin in the far corner of the room, staring intently at its frilly Prench maid uniform with the added bonus of a sapphire encrusted collar.
At Thomas’ urging, Silver was lead to an alicorn sized chair where he and Moonlight helped her in, facing the wall away from Luna. Silver felt small, like a filly in a highchair. When she realized that this chair was made special for Luna, she had to quell the urge to grind her rear into the seat where Luna’s glorious moon had once been. The table before her was filled with a hearty breakfast that even her entire family would have trouble finishing. As her eyes drifted from one mouthwatering morsel to the next, she looked up and counted two chairs besides her own and looked up questioningly at Moonlight, who was wearing the concubine uniform.
The unicorn grinned and leaned in, whispering conspiratorially. “This is your test. Luna wants to see how you react.”
Silver felt her blood run cold as her ears fell. React? React to what? She rewound her mind back to when she first entered the room, hoping for some clue as to the nature of the test. However, her thoughts were unable to move past the image of Princess Luna staring at that maid uniform. Her mind raced, puzzling over that look on Luna’s face, that subtle smile that made the bat pony’s heart melt, as well as the possibilities that went into having a maid outfit of that size; most of which were dismissed as absurd.
Silver heard sounds from behind and noticed that Thomas had gone. She recognized his voice, as well as Luna’s. Their words were quiet and sentences incomplete.
“This one?” Thomas asked.
“Over here,” Luna instructed.
There was the jingle of magic and the patter of footsteps, not hoof steps, as the pair continued their hidden machinations. Despite the overwhelming urge to peek, Silver reminded herself that, unconventional as it was, this was still a test and cheating would be frowned upon. She jumped and gave a small squeak when Moonlight grabbed her hand and began stroking it reassuringly. The bat pony met the unicorn’s smiling gaze and let out a relieved sigh. Though small, the gesture from her fellow mare proved immensely helpful. The moment of peace was broken as the footsteps came up beside her and she turned anxiously to find a smiling Thomas.
“Silver Bell,” he said, sounding forcefully formal.
“Sir Thomas,” she greeted with equal courtesy.
“This evening will be the final test of your initiation into Princess Luna’s Harem.” He glanced nervously towards the still unseen alicorn, looking like he was checking on something. “Your devotion and sense of propriety are without question. And while your actual skills in…” he gulped, “bed have yet to be explored, exactly,” he chuckled at the absurdity of his words. “This is not the most important thing for a concubine.”
Silver blinked, taken aback in surprise. What he’d just listed had been what she was taught to be THE quintessential traits of a concubine. What else is there?
“The objective of this test,” Thomas continued, “is to determine your ability to treat Princess Luna as if she weren’t a Princess, but a common mare.”
Silver blinked, her brain having to perform a full reboot. She’d heard Thomas speak words, finely spoken words, yet they paradoxically combined to form a statement that somehow didn’t exist to her. “What?” she heard herself ask dumbly.
Thomas made a sound of amusement before continuing. “There’s a pony you’re about to see named Blue Sapphire. She’s a very pretty mare who wants to be your maid for the evening. Your test will be on your ability to give her orders. And if she does something wrong,” Thomas glanced over in Luna’s direction to check again, “you’ll have to punish her. Understand?”
This statement was at least something comprehensible, but the broader meaning still escaped her. Fearful of exposing her ignorance, she tried putting the pieces together. The name Blue Sapphire sounded familiar, but she could not place where she’d heard it before. Whoever she was, she must be tall if she’s going to wear that maid outfit. Why else would it be here if not for her? Surely Princess Luna wouldn’t keep such a thing for herself, right? Taking a calming breath and deciding that it was best to rip off the bandage quickly; Silver nodded and braced herself for her test.
A few soft clops later and the mare in question came up and stood beside Thomas. Blue Sapphire was a unicorn with sky-blue fur, and a plain violet mane and tail. Though tall, the size of an earth mare in fact, she was nowhere near the height of an alicorn, leading the bat mare to conclude that the maid outfit she was wearing was not the one seen earlier, despite looking identical in all other aspects. Silver felt her heart skip a beat when she realized that the mare had the same teal eyes as Luna, but told herself that it was just a coincidence. There was no doubt that the mare was pretty, so pretty that Silver wondered if perhaps she was another applicant. She stood with poise and pride befitting one of noble birth, but curtsied with calm humility when her eyes met her…
“Mistress,” Blue greeted with a voice that made Silver want to grind her thighs together. “It is my honor to serve you.”
Feeling her mouth suddenly turn dry, Silver snatched up a glass of orange juice and downed the entire cup in one gulp. She had a test to pass and was not about to choke on the first breath. Figuring that Luna was still behind her, watching and judging her every move, Silver beamed at the unicorn maid. “The honor is mine, Blue. Know that you have my utmost gratitude for aiding me in my service to the Princess.”
“Luna,” Blue corrected softly. “For those meant to hold her trust and share her bed, she prefers to be called Luna.”
Silver frowned skeptically at the mare, but figured she had acquired such knowledge as part of her task of instructor. “While the sentiment is appreciated, I must warn that it is most inappropriate for a servant to correct her mistress in front of others.”
Thomas and Moonlight averted their eyes and stifled their laughter.
“What?” Silver asked, feeling her cheeks turn hot as the others seemed to laugh at her expense. “What did I say?”
“You are correct, my mistress,” Blue curtsied apologetically, paying no mind to the other concubines. “Shall I be punished for my impropriety?” she asked with subdued eagerness.
Blue’s emphasis was not lost on Silver as she recalled Thomas using a similar tone for the same word. Does the Princess mean to test my aptitude as a mistress? Thinking logically, it made sense to Silver that one as old as the Princess, or rather Luna, would have had the time to experiment with a variety of tastes. Figuring that this was in preparation for performing such play on the other concubines, Silver straightened up, trying to look authoritative. “I am letting you off with a warning this time. However, I’d advise against testing my patience further.”
“Understood, mistress,” Blue acknowledged with a bow. “However, should you change your mind…” she said nothing more as she extracted a riding crop from behind her back and set it on the table, right next to the silverware.
Silver nodded, taking the hint, and looked up to find Moonlight and Thomas had already taken their seats across from her, leaving the last seat suspiciously empty. “Will anypony else be joining us for breakfast?”
A growl from Blue’s stomach was the first to answer.
“Just us,” Thomas chuckled softly. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to let Blue sit with us, at least for breakfast?”
Silver scowled, catching the suggestive tone in Thomas’ voice. “While I have come to expect such deliberate lapses in etiquette since my arrival, I am afraid this is a line that should not be crossed. A servant must always know her place. Blue!” she barked.
With a wide, giddy grin, Blue snapped to attention.
Silver narrowed her eyes on the taller mare. If she was going to be a mistress, she might as well get into the role as quickly as possible. “You will remain standing until I say otherwise. Do this, and maybe I will let you have our leftovers.” While Silver had never asked her own servants to be degraded in such a fashion, she’d done a bit of research over this kind of play and knew such humiliation was often a crucial characteristic.
Blue was shaking with giddy excitement, finding her own role immensely enjoyable. Her mind raced with all the possible orders Silver would give her, finding the more humiliating ones to be the most exhilarating.
As the others dug in, Silver had not even had the time to reach for her utensils before a spoon full of oats was set directly in front of her snout. She followed along the metal utensil, across the hand holding it, until she met with Blue’s sweetly smiling face.
“Mistress,” she cooed. “Say ahh…”
Recovering quickly from the initial surprise, Silver decided to just roll with it and opened her mouth welcomingly. It was all part of the game, after all. Besides that, being fed like this felt nice, like she was a very important pony who deserves to be catered to. Blue giggled again, that same lovely voice that threatened to make Silver start leaking all over Luna’s nice chair. She closed her lips around the spoon and hummed in delight, not expecting the oats to have been coated with such delectable frosting.
“Does my mistress appreciate her treat?”
“She does,” Silver chuckled. “What is it?”
“Something from the exotic spice rack,” Thomas answered. “Luna made it special just for us.” And he took another bite of his own meal.
Luna made this… for us? She continued to stammer until Blue brought her back to reality with a fork full of fish, which she gobbled down greedily. The others laughed, but she didn’t care. She was just too excited by the prospect of enjoying Luna’s cooking. With Blue’s eager help she sampled from every plate in her reach, savoring every bite for several seconds before swallowing.
Silver blinked, as if waking from a trance, and found the table empty. She vaguely remembered light conversation and the meal she inhaled, only to do a double take on her slightly expanded stomach and the formerly full plates and bowls. It didn’t seem possible that she had eaten everything, but what other explanation could there be? Just to be sure, she glanced over at Blue and found the mare’s midsection perfectly flat, yet the look in the unicorn’s eye, that mischievous glint, suggested she was hiding something.
“Blue.”
“Yes, mistress.”
“I’d hate to think you’d leave me with an unclean face,” she said warningly.
Blue bolted upright, snatched a napkin, and set about gently dabbing at Silver’s mouth while the others watched. It was a struggle for the bat to not smirk at the power she held over this mare.
“So like I was saying,” Thomas spoke up. “Me and Moon were thinking about moving into one of the spare guest rooms in the castle.”
“It would save money and even be a nice place to live long-term,” Moonlight added. “What do you think, Blue?”
Silver frowned, wondering why Moonlight would ask this stranger, if that was what she was, such a personal question. When she saw that Blue was looking at her, waiting for approval, Silver gave a nod.
“I think it’s a fine idea,” Blue said gently. “Luna,” she stressed suspiciously, “should have no problem with such an arrangement. So long as you remain within reach, all should be fine.”
Silver scowled. Instructor or no, it still rubbed her the wrong way to hear a servant speak of Princess Luna so casually. Worse, Thomas and Moonlight seemed to have no qualms with it at all. They had all been chatting with the familiarity of close friends that left Silver utterly baffled. While she knew it was immature, she began considering taking her frustrations out on the maid as she finished wiping her mouth clean.
“Blue.”
“Yes, mistress.”
“Regarding my test, what manner of orders am I expected to give?”
“Whatever you wish, my mistress,” Blue curtsied. “I am no expert, but I would happily give you a massage or hooficure. If there are,” she tittered, “other tasks you’d like me to perform, I’d be more than happy to satisfy. I only ask that you treat me as kindly as you see fit, and punish me fairly should I fail in my duties.”
There was that word again. “Very well,” Silver agreed as she stood, retrieving the riding crop, and motioned for Blue to follow. She glanced over at the ponyquin, finding it bare, save for the still present collar, and the Princess missing. She did not dwell, certain that the Princess was still watching, and lead the way to the bed where she sat on the edge and folded her legs. “For starters, I think I will have that hooficure you promised.”
Blue suddenly looked hesitant and glanced back at the others, who seemed equally concerned.
“Is there a problem?” Silver tapped her hoof irately.
“Well…” Blue’s ears folded back. “The thing is… I don’t actually…”
“You made a promise you could not fulfill,” Silver said judgmentally and let out an annoyed sigh. “You said you would give me a something you have no knowledge of.” She made sure to draw out as much of her irritation as possible, enjoying the way it made the large mare squirm. “How do you propose to make it up to-oh!” She gasped as the mare fell to her knees, seized her hoof in her hands, and brought it up to her muzzle. Taking a brief sniff, she extended her tongue and took a broad lick up the bottom of Silver’s hoof, causing the bat mare to shudder at the sensation.
“Is this to your liking, Mistress?” Blue asked, batting her eyelids seductively. What she’d done had been terribly humiliating, but the wetness running down her thighs told her it was the right decision. It had been too long since she’d been on the receiving end of a mistress, and she hoped from the bottom of her heart that Silver could amend this terrible lapse.
Silver felt a tingle run from her hoof all the way up her spine as a faint chill blew across the dampness of her hoof. Looking into the unicorn’s eyes, she knew she enjoyed it even more than the pony she was supposed to be serving. Worse yet, Silver didn’t feel at all bothered. If this mare got a kick out of being dominated and doing humiliating things, then who was she to stop her? “I want these hooves to shine. Understand?” She tapped her hoof in midair.
“Very much, Mistress.” And Blue set about her task, leaving a pair of onlookers wondering what to do with themselves.
At Silver’s puzzled look, Thomas clarified. “We’re basically just referees, here to make sure everyone plays nicely.” His eyes lingered on Blue’s swaying rump as she worked on her Mistress’s hoof. “So far so good.”
Silver chuckled lightly. “While I admit that I am enjoying being the dominant one for a change, I really have to wonder what this has to do with what you said earlier. How does this help me look at Luna…” she trailed off, finding herself unable to comprehend what it was she was supposed to be doing.
“That’s the one thing we can’t say,” Moonlight answered. “And don’t try ordering L-Blue to answer either,” she corrected at the last second. “Luna would be upset if we spoiled the surprise too soon.”
Silver furrowed her brow skeptically before resting her eyes on her maid. “Are you sure?” She smirked sinisterly. “I can be very… persuasive when I want to.”
Blue looked up at her Mistress, shivering excitedly. “What did you have in mind, Mistress?”
Silver toyed with the riding crop in her fingers, frowning in dissatisfaction before setting it down. “For a proper punishment,” she cracked her knuckles, “I think I would prefer to go old fashioned.”
“Told you,” Moonlight whispered to Thomas.
“Glad I didn’t take the bet, then,” he replied.
Blue gazed wantingly up at her mistress, lip pouting and rump shaking anxiously. “Are you going to finally punish me?” she asked excitedly.
Silver patted her lap, giving the larger mare a smirk. Blue practically scampered up and rested her belly over Silver’s thighs. Hands held up to her face and balled in excitement, her tail flagged high and revealing her lack of undergarments. Silver set her hand on the unicorn’s rump, rubbing it gently as her servant cooed.
“A fine balance of muscle and fat,” Silver appraised thoughtfully as she tightened her grip, sinking her fingers into the mare’s butt flesh. “Yes. Very nice,” she purred. As her mind wandered with all that she could do with this rump, she spotted the sparkling wetness dripping from the unicorn’s lower lips and felt her mouth water. She shook her head to regain focus. “It would be such a shame to damage such a pert little plot.”
Blue whined from the contact and her mistress’s honeyed words. She felt her marehood begin to wink with ever increasing frequency as her plump cheeks were teased. She wanted this. She needed this, and it was taking all her strength not to break character and just give the order. “I… won’t tell,” she squeaked, wagging her hips to entice the bat mare further.
“Such dedication,” Silver purred.
Blue felt the hand fall from her plot and inhaled sharply in anticipation.
“A shame it has to be,” The sharp report of Silver’s hand contacting Blue’s pert bubble butt sounded loud in the otherwise quiet room. “punished!”
Blue cried out, but quickly covered her muzzle as her mind registered the sharp pain in her rear. Her rump stung, but it stung so wonderfully.
Silver caught herself staring at the mare’s rump as it jiggled and rippled from the contact. It was hypnotic, and just begging to be smacked again, so she did.
Another sharp report sounded as Silver’s hand cracked against Blue’s rump.
The sound seemed to echo around the room, second only to the maids muffled cries as she endured her punishment. Silver felt her grin grow, proud of herself for eliciting such a reaction. She was really getting a kick out of dominating the larger mare. As Silver delivered spank after spank, part of her wondered if this enjoyment was taken partially from some deep resentment of unicorns for looking down on her family; not to mention the simple joy of dominating one so much bigger than herself. Another part wondered if Blue Sapphire might be available for future encounters. And a third part wondered what all of this had to do with her test.
The next smack was followed by a harsh grip as Silver dug her fingertips into Blue’s bum, earning another joyous cry. “Are you ready to talk, now?” She asked with a threatening growl, displaying her fangs for emphasis.
Blue took a moment to catch her breath. It had been centuries since anypony had touched her like that. Cheeks blushing and tongue hanging out, she turned to look back at her mistress. “For you,” she gasped, “anything.”
Silver nodded her approval and adjusted her grip into a more gentle caress. She nuzzled between the mare’s ears as an additional reward, enjoying her moans of approval. “Good. Now, what is it that the lot of you have been keeping from me?” Her caress paused as she gave the mare a surprise pinch. “Unless you want to upset me,” she whispered.
“Never!” Blue cried out, surprising herself at how insistent she was against displeasing her mistress. It embarrassed her to no end, especially when she remembered their audience, and her look of fear flipped to one of seduction. "What mistress wants, mistress gets,” she purred lustfully.
Thomas stifled a grunt, shooting Moonlight an accusing glare. She retaliated with a sly grin and quickened her actions under the table. The situation was turning her on immensely.
Blue Sapphire slid from Silver’s lap until she was once more on her knees, sitting obediently at her mistress’s hooves. Her face was still flushed, but she knew her mistress approved. “There is something we’ve been keeping from you, mistress. I apologize for the inconvenience.”
Silver nodded. If her instructor was willing to tell, then she must have been performing adequately. Still, that was no reason to start slacking. “You are right to be sorry.” Folding her legs, she extended a hoof to lift her maid’s chin up so that she could look her in the eye. “If you make amends, I promise to prove myself a fair mistress and reward you appropriately.”
Blue grinded her thighs together in excitement, but quickly sobered when she realized what was coming next. “Your test was to see how well you treat Luna as something other than a Princess.”
Silver’s brow furrowed as she made a thoughtful sound. “And how, precisely, did you propose to test this?”
Instead of answering, Blue lit her horn. Her body shimmered hazily as if a fog was lifting from her form. She grew, up and out as her body swelled with mass and her fur darkened from sky blue to indigo. Silver blinked, pulling back in surprise, though her hoof followed the mare’s chin as it rose higher and higher. The maid outfit remained intact as a pair of indigo wings burst from the unicorn’s back, fanning out with an elaborate glory. The shimmer finally ceased and Blue Sapphire was no more. In her place, sitting submissively on her knees, was Princess Luna.
Silver’s mouth opened as if to speak, but could only manage an irregular series of incomprehensible burbles, not unlike a toddler. This seemed to be a fitting analogy as she felt the higher functions of her brain shut down entirely. Princess Luna, Mistress of the Moon, savior of the bat ponies, with her chin still pressed against Silver’s hoof, could only give the mare a guilty smile. And with that, Silver lost consciousness and fell back onto the bed.
Silver awoke slowly to the gentle embrace of the softest and warmest bedding she had ever felt. It didn’t feel like there were sheets, but the mattress and pillows more than made up for it, keeping her warm and cozy. She snuggled into the pillows, cooing softly as she became aware of a soft thumping coming from beneath the bedding. It was a steady beating rhythm, like a pulse, and it threatened to coax her back into unconsciousness.
“Are you awake?”
Silver’s ears stood sharp, recognizing the voice as her Princess. She tried bolting up, only to find a pair of large and powerful bands held her in place. She tried putting more force into her efforts, but her fingers merely sank deeper into the bedding, earning a giggle from the Princess. Realizing that her eyes were open despite the pervading darkness, she focused her efforts on extracting her face from whatever held it in place. When she did, her heart practically melted.
Princess Luna was gazing down at her little Silver. The smaller mare was held tightly against the alicorn’s naked belly while her face had recently been extracted from her bare breasts. Luna could only titter further at the way the smaller mare squirmed against her, especially in light of what they had been doing not so long ago.
“I- You- That is to-” Silver stammered incoherently. Images of what had happened before her loss of consciousness flooded her mind. She wanted to just crawl into a hole and die after the terrible things she’d done to her Princess, but said Princess refused to let her look away. Instead, Luna held her chin in place as the alicorn’s eyes fluttered sweetly.
“Silver Bell,” Luna hummed contently.
“Pr-Mis-Lu-” Silver stammered to find the right words.
“You did well.”
Silver blinked, flushing as her inner turmoil seemed to melt away in the alicorn’s grip. “I… did?”
Luna nodded gently. “You performed wonderfully.” She tittered. “I can tell you have a real knack for giving orders.”
It was Silver’s turn to flush, but her mind remained functional as she processed Luna’s words. “You w-wanted me to d-d-do that?” It was a near incomprehensible prospect, but one that needed urgent clarification.
Luna leaned forward and lightly touched noses with Silver. “I am, as modern ponies say, a switch.” She rubbed her hand along Silver’s back, soothingly petting her beneath her wings as she explained. “In my many years, I have partaken of virtually every manner of carnal delight this world has to offer. I feel the cravings of their variety no differently than other ponies crave food.”
This much Silver knew as she nodded along, squirming a little to make herself comfortable in the alicorn’s grip. It wasn’t hard.
“Given my size and position, most assume I enjoy being dominant in bed as much as on the throne,” Luna said as she began nuzzling Silver’s ear. “And while that is fun, one could say even my rightful place, I still find myself wanting for variety,” she purred, now taking nips of the bat mare’s ear and earning several soft squeaks of delight. “I love playing games, pretending to be somepony I am not. I want a pony who can be more than an equal.” Her hand slid further down until it stopped just above Silver’s tail. “I want a pony who can take charge, to play the role of putting me in my place now and then.”
Silver whinnied as she felt Luna’s fingers weave through her tail, wrapping around the strands of hair until she had a solid grip. Without warning, Luna gave a swift yank of Silver’s tail, causing the bat mare to cry out in joy as her wings sprung out.
“My my,” Luna giggle as she felt a dab of wetness against her stomach. “Sensitive, aren’t we?”
“N-no fair,” Silver whined. “Y-you cheated.” Despite her mini orgasm, the bat mare was finally feeling her thoughts grow more coherent.
“And how, pray tell, did I do that?”
Silver nuzzled into Luna’s touch. “Because you’re you,” she said meaningfully. “How could I resist?”
Luna felt her voice catch in her throat as her eyes threatened to water. Those hadn’t been the words of a blind zealot or servant, but a true lover. “All’s fair in love and war, my little bat,” Luna teased happily.
Silver leaned forward, trying in vain to climb through Luna’s cleavage to those coveted lips. The Princess, her Princess, met her halfway and they shared a kiss. It was neither platonic, nor was there tongue. Their lips pressed together with a passion, saying more than words could ever manage. In time they parted and Silver looked up contentedly at Luna.
“Now what?” the bat mare asked with a silly grin, unable to imagine anything bringing down the mood for how happy she was. It had happened. She’d done it, achieving her lifelong fantasy and her family’s legacy. She, Silver Bell, was now lover to Princess Luna. All was well in the world.
Luna pulled herself up against the pillows, holding Silver close until she sat cross-legged with the little bat on her knee. Once settled, with a hand on the bat mare’s back to hold her in place, she gave a dower sigh as she stared at her new lover. “Before we go further, there is something important we need to discuss.”
Silver nodded with a serious urgency. Luna was upset and this was not something Silver saw fit to suffer any longer than necessary. “Anything!” she asserted. Whatever it was, she would meet whatever was making her Luna look upset and take it away.
“It is a matter I have been considering for some time,” Luna admitted somberly. “None know of this, not even my sister. So when I tell you, I want you to think long and hard before you answer. Understand?”
Silver paused as she contemplated the severity of what she was about to hear. Something so serious that not even Celestia knows? Her mind raced with all the possibilities this could entail, from espionage to the Princess revealing her deepest, darkest fetish. No matter what it was, Silver knew she could not falter after coming so far. The bat mare straightened up and gave a swift nod. “Whatever it is, I’m here for you… Luna.” She had to restrain the urge to giggle. It still felt so naughty to say her name like that.
Luna took a breath, steeling herself before making her confession. “Do you hate me?”
Once more Silver’s brain performed a full reboot. “What?”
Luna grimaced. “It shames me to say, but the bat ponies have suffered terribly in my absence; most fleeing from the cities to Nocternia, or the wandering tribes, isolating themselves from the rest of Equestria. I have read of the hardships your tribe had to endure, alone, without my help.” Tears of sorrow welled in the alicorn’s eyes. “You loved me, you and all bat ponies, and I turned my back on you.”
“No!” Silver insisted. Luna was wrong. It felt blasphemous to even think, but emotion overrode reason and drove Silver on. Luna should not, could not, be allowed to blame herself. Somepony else had to be at fault. “We failed you. It was us. We should have-” but Luna cut her off.
“You did everything right,” Luna said through a sorrowful smile. “You loved me, devoted yourselves to me, yet I still gave into jealousy and became Nightmare Moon.” She ignored Silver’s flinch at the cursed name, caught up in the moment. “I turned into a monster, doing terrible things until I forced my sister to do something almost as bad. I failed!”
Silver flinched again as she felt her own eyes starting to water in anger and sorrow. Each word Luna spoke stoked the fires within the bat. She would never tolerate anypony to speak ill of her Princess, making it all the more frustrating that such words were coming from said Princess. It was infuriating, heartbreaking, and all so confusing the way the feelings clashed inside her.
“I failed the bat ponies. I failed my sister. I even failed myself as a Princess.” Luna snorted back her anger. “And then I come back to find most of Equestria has dismissed me as a legend, a monstrous story to scare foals into going to bed on time. How could you not-”
It was Luna’s turn to be cut off as Silver lunged up, wrapping her arms around the alicorn’s neck and squeezing tightly. “It’s alright,” Silver sobbed as she gently stroked Luna’s mane. “It’s okay.”
Luna returned the embrace, pulling Silver close as she cried into the mare’s shoulder. Amidst her muffled sobs, Silver choked down her own tears as best she could and endeavored to speak. This was something that needed to be said.
“We,” Silver sobbed. “We don’t hate you. We never did.” There was a pause in Luna’s crying as she listened. “We always loved you, Luna. When you went away, we were sad, but that didn’t change how we truly felt. We never stopped believing in you, praying to Faust for your swift return. I’ve spoken to many bat ponies over the years,” she tittered softly, “so trust me when I say they feel the same.” She tightened her grip, never wanting to let go, never wanting her Princess, her alicorn, her Luna to ever feel alone or unloved again.
“T-truly?” Luna whispered softly, keeping her face in Silver’s tear and snot coated shoulder.
Silver nodded against Luna’s cheek. “We heard about your return and your formal apology, the same as any other pony, and we were beside ourselves with joy. Our Princess had come back to us!” She laughed loudly, recalling the joy of time. “My sisters screamed and danced all over the house. When we got noise complaints, my dam told the complainer to shove it up her skinny flank,” she laughed through the tears. “My sire wept as he wrote correspondence to the nomadic tribes to give them the good news. And I,” she choked down a sob, “I cried. I cried until my tears ran out. We all did, and we just embraced and reveled in the moment for the rest of the day. For us, my Princess, there was never anything to forgive.”
Luna very nearly flexed her earth pony strength around the lithe bat mare, but managed to keep control. Instead she extracted herself from her lover’s messy shoulder, while Silver did the same, until they were eye to eye. With both their faces marred with tear stained fur and barely contained snot, The Princess of the Night kissed Silver with an aggressive passion. The alicorn devoured the smaller mare’s lips, desperate to convey her feelings of gratitude. Silver had to know, needed to know just how thankful her Princess was. Deep down Luna knew that it wouldn’t be that simple; that she still owed her bat ponies a proper apology, but that would come later. For now, the love and forgiveness of this one bat mare was enough.
Silver struggled against the larger mare’s advances. Luna was kissing her with a painful intensity and her lungs were starting to burn for a lack of air. The bat mare now found herself on her back. It was fortunate that there was a soft mattress against her, lest she be crushed by the alicorn’s immense bulk. Her hands groped impotently over the alicorn’s body, searching for anything to grab onto. Her finger’s glided across the immensity of Luna’s breasts, but the mammaries were squished too tightly against her own for her to get any kind of grip.
Finally Luna ceased her assault and stared down the bat mare. As her massive breasts eclipsed the bat’s tiny frame, the alicorn stared down with a hungry gaze and held Silvers face with her palms, the tips of her fingers teasing the tufted ears. “Silver Bell.”
“Luna,” Silver heard herself reply as her wings fluttered meekly. The scent of arousal hit her nose like a pillow to the face, adding to her already heightened sensitivity.
“Thou art our new lover,” she said with a throaty lust. Beneath the desire lay an air of command, an order so absolute that not even the craftiest lawyer would dare overturn it. Luna’s word was law. “Doth thou know what this means?”
Silver needed a few moments to think. “We’re going to rut?” she asked with a mixture of hope and fear. Now that the moment was finally upon her, to do what she was born to do, Silver could not deny her anxiety. Little strings of fear throated through her mind, every lingering doubt and insecurity she’d ever imagined suddenly climbed to the forefront of her mind. Do I know what to do? Am I strong enough? Will she break me? Can I truly handle her? Do I… deserve to?.
“No,” Luna growled, leaning close as Silver’s eyes widened in shock and horror. “It means I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk anymore.”
“Okay,” Silver squeaked as her lips curled into a grin. Luna’s words, her absolute declaration, had erased roughly 75% of her worries. She was wanted, and she knew it. However, that still left the little mare questioning if she was up to the task. Luna was a goddess, after all.
Luna sat up, straddling the smaller mare as she stared into Silver’s eyes. That look of fear blended with excitement was one the alicorn always savored. It was the look of a virgin experiencing their first time. While cases like Thomas were rare, where she could take a pony’s virginity good and proper, she and her sister had found a more than adequate replacement. ‘Alicorn virginity’, as Celestia had dubbed it, was the look on a pony’s face when being with an alicorn for the first time. No matter how much experience, or how many partners they might have had before, it all paled in comparison to the realization that they were about to be with an alicorn for the first time.
Deciding she’d drawn out this moment long enough, Luna clapped her hands. The main doors opened and in walked Moonlight and Thomas. Their bodies fidgeted in anxiety as they waited to hear what had happened in their absence, eyes darting between Luna and the mare between her legs. Luna gave them an eager grin. “She said yes,” she gasped in elation. “Phase Three is on.”
“That’s great!” Thomas shook his fists in cheer.
“I’m so happy,” Moonlight said, bouncing giddily in excitement, not unlike a filly who had gotten the doll house she’d wanted for Hearth’s Warming.
“Three?” Silver asked as she watched the other concubines over Luna’s leg.
Moonlight wrapped an arm around Thomas’ shoulder and pulled him close, her breast pressing against his cheek. “Thanks largely to my stallion,” she bragged proudly, “the three of us came up with a three part plan for your final test. The first was dressing Luna as a maid to help you see her as a mare.”
“Second part,” Thomas chimed in, “was the apology.” He beamed at Luna, proud of her for going through with something so hard. “Again, really glad that worked out.”
“Told you it would,” Moonlight chuckled.
“And the third,” Luna purred, rotating her hips around the bat mare’s waist, “is your initiation.”
As if on cue, Thomas and Moonlight made for the bed with purpose in their eyes. Luna grabbed Silver by the waist and lifted her up into the air. Despite being a natural flyer, the bat mare still found the action disorienting as her wings impotently flapped about to hold her balance. The Princess and bat stared at each other for only a moment before Silver was lowered back down, but not onto the bed. Feeling the folded legs beneath her loincloth covered butt, Silver looked back to see Moonlight smiling down at her. The bat mare couldn’t even open her mouth before the unicorn grabbed her stomach and began fondling her breasts.
“Do you like that?” Luna asked seductively.
Silver moaned her approval as Moonlight kneaded her breasts, testing which actions earned the strongest reaction.
“Good. You should know just how much debate went into discussing positions. We wanted to make your initiation a night to remember,” Luna purred, lowering her head while keeping her rump up.
Silver blinked when she saw Thomas standing behind Luna. He grinned excitedly, gave her a salute, and finally set his hands over Luna’s bountiful plot where Silver couldn’t see. “She seems to like me in this position,” he explained, as if him being in the traditional mounting position needed to be rationalized.
Luna coughed, eyeing him over her shoulder.
“I mean,” he corrected. “She likes being fucked like a real mare,” he laughed nervously.
At Silver’s confusion, Moonlight rested her chin on the bat pony’s shoulder and held out a piece of paper for her to see. “Humans have a very… colorful vernacular,” she tittered. “Try to work in a few of these phrases. Luna’s in the mood to experiment.”
Even with Moonlight’s hands on her breasts, Silver’s flush deepened as she read over the list. Some of the words were alien, but they were accompanied with a context that made their meaning all too clear, not to mention she recognized more than a few from conversations with Thomas. “You want me to,” she gulped, “say this!?”
“Mistress,” Luna pleaded, drawing attention to her place on eye level with Silver’s winking slit.
Silver straightened as her face hardened, not even flinching as Moonlight pinched her nipples. Her Princess needed her and she would not shirk her duties, even if said duties involved the Princess’ hot breath pelting her already burning marehood. Quickly she skimmed the paper for an appropriate starter. “D-does my little pet want to get f-fucked?” Somehow the words felt fitting on her lips.
“Mistress,” Luna growled throatily as her grin widened. “Pet wants to get fucked sooooo hard!”
Silver gulped, but maintained character as she glanced over at Thomas. “Is he,” she checked the paper, “going to f-fuck your P-Princess pussy?”
“No, mistress,” Luna tittered as she waved her rump back and forth. She was inching her way forward, feeling the soft fur of Silver’s thighs brush past her cheeks, and causing the bat mare’s marehood to wink even faster. “Pet’s pussy is being saved for later.”
“Moonlight!” Silver snapped at the unicorn, only to give her an apologetic look. Moonlight smiled acceptingly, understanding full well how overwhelming this must be, much to Silver’s relief. Silver flexed her wing in unspoken command and Moonlight moved her hands to the bat mare’s leathery appendages. She shuddered in delight, but kept her composure as she double-checked the list. “Then he’s…” Her eyes widened. “He’s… going to play with your… ass pussy?”
While Luna had been crouching like a cat, her left arm moved beneath her belly and between her legs, unable to help herself at the name calling. She’d been willing to abandon this element if human words didn’t have the desired effect, but the sticky stream falling from her marehood left no doubt that this was a good idea. “Pet likes having her ass played with. Pet loves getting it donkey style, and her pet loves giving it.” It felt so wrong to degrade herself like this, especially in front of one who venerated her so dearly, but that just made it more exciting. It was the ability to move past preconceptions, to break out of your role, which made these moments shared between lovers so treasured. Here, now, they were nothing more or less than themselves. “Shall pet begin pleasing mistress?”
Silver glanced at the paper once more. Besides vocabulary, there were also suggestions for other phrases. “Eat me out you little, um, slut. Suck my cunt and drink my cum?” she asked, though she tried to stay stoic. To say such things to the Princess, her family might disown her. But the look in Luna’s eyes made it clear that she was liking it. “Hurry, or else mistress will be displeased,” she emphasized with a stern look.
“As mistress commands,” were Luna’s last words before diving for Silver’s flower. The bat mare cried out as the alicorn lapped at her moist folds, drinking in her strawberry flavor. Luna’s tongue plunged deep, past Silver’s winking lips into her core. The alicorn grabbed the bat mare’s hips to stop her from squirming too much as she whimpered with ecstasy.
Removing her hand from her pussy, Luna snaked around Moonlight’s side until she grabbed the surprised mare’s flanks. This in turn caused the unicorn to tighten her grip on Silver’s wings, exciting the bat mare further. Moonlight eased into the new sensation as Luna’s powerful fingers kneaded her butt flesh until they found her winking slit. Luna grinned into Silver’s lips as she felt Moonlight’s anus and pussy tense at her touch, before finally relaxing and granting the entry of her fingers.
Thomas, who had been massaging Luna’s ample rear since the start, figured it was time to do his part. He gently pressed his finger into her puckered star, pushing it all the way in before removing it and a thin strand of sticky fluids, causing her already flagged tail to twitch. Glad to see her anus had already been lubed, Thomas set his hands back on her rump and pulled her cheeks apart, giving him unobstructed access to her enticing tail hole as it quivered in anticipation. He leaned forward and inhaled deeply, eyes rolling to the back of his head as his nostrils filled with Luna’s arousal.
“Jesus, Luna!” He gasped. Gently blowing against her twitching hole, Thomas chuckled as the onset of cool air seemed to excite her ponut even further. “You like that don’t you,” he teased. He was uncertain if Luna was even listening as the only sounds he heard were muffled moans of delight made between Silver’s legs, the succulent moisture dripping onto her fingers from Moonlight’s nethers, as well as the wet squelching on Luna’s tongue within the bat mare’s folds.
But Luna did hear. Her ears stood proud as all of her senses were geared into maximum awareness. The juicy flavor on her tongue, the depraved moans of her mares playing with one another, and the burning tool filling her ass were absolutely divine. Invisible tendrils of magic shot out around her body, desperate for more sensory input. The soft fur of Silver’s stomach, the look of bliss and control in Moonlight’s eyes, the clenching of Thomas’ own butt as he pounded into hers, and even the way her own winking marehood looked from between Thomas’ legs; all of it was at her disposal and then some. She was everywhere, enjoying her fucking from every angle.
At long last, Thomas lined up the tip with her entrance and pressed forward.
The lube worked better than expected as his cock effortlessly entered her pucker, causing Luna to whine even louder into Silver’s folds. That, he thought, and we’ve done it so much back here that she’s probably fully adjusted. Still, she was no less tight than the first time they did it as he hilted himself inside her until his balls tapped against her dripping folds. Her ass was warm around his stomach and sides. Her colon was almost burning as it clenched hungrily around his cock, trying to pull him in deeper.
Grinning to himself, Thomas looked up past the bountiful landscape that was Luna’s ass until his eyes met Silver’s. She’d been watching him, and he couldn’t deny the sight of his mares working on her wasn’t also stimulating. Using Luna’s plump cheeks for leverage, he pulled out until only the tip remained. Nodding at Silver, he slammed his hips against Luna’s rear, hilting himself once more as he heard Luna’s muffled cries into Silver’s pussy.
Silver’s hands found their way to Luna’s horn where they gripped tightly around the shaft. Luna shot her a needy look and the bat mare knew what she had to do. Leaning forward, Silver gave the tip a teasing lick, earning a shudder from the alicorn. Grinning, she wrapped her lips around the base of the horn, licking around where the appendage met the skull before sliding her tongue up along the shaft. Imagining the horn like a dick, she wrapped her lips around the tip and sank her mouth down, fellating it. Luna’s horn wasn’t as hot as Thomas’ penis, but it was hard and the texture felt good in her mouth. The tip felt almost blunted as it grazed the roof of her mouth, sliding to the back of her throat. Silver’s lips sunk further down, the tip tickling the back of her tongue as she reached for Luna’s ears, experimenting with different levels of pressure until she found one the alicorn liked.
In response, Luna began paying special attention to Silver’s clit, nipping and lapping at it between dives down into her folds. Her massive wings reached out and intertwined with the bat’s, feathers stroking enticingly across membrane, stimulating both mares. The Princess clenched around Thomas’ cock between thrusts, catching him off guard; her large dexterous fingers plunged deep into both Moonlight’s holes, causing her to bite and pull at Silver’s mane just to keep from crying out; and as she ate out Silver, she dominated the smaller mare’s wings. A lesser mare might fumble with having to pay attention to three lovers at once, but Luna was far from lesser, stimulating all three and bringing them painfully close.
Silver threw back her head, crying in orgasm. Her voice was echoed by groans and moans from her fellow concubines. Luna eagerly drank up Silver’s sweet nectar as her ass swallowed every spurt of salty cum. Each concubine collapsed forward, with Luna turning to the side in time to avoid impaling Silver on her horn.
After drinking the last of the bat’s juices and licking her vulva clean, the grinning Princess sat up to her full height, letting Moonlight fall atop Silver as Thomas was pinned beneath her massive backside. Despite being the only one to not orgasm, she sighed contentedly as she took in the sight around her. It was a welcomed sight, of lovers brought to the exhaustion of bliss thanks to her, but it was not enough to satisfy her just yet. She lit her horn and cast the spell.
The three concubines all shot up, suddenly full of energy, save for Thomas who was still pinned, but no less raring to go as his cock came back to life in Luna’s anus.
“Mistress,” Luna purred seductively, earning the attention of the other mares. She crouched forward, ears folded back submissively as her tail flagged high. “What do you want to do?”
“I…” Silver’s mind raced with the possibilities. Princess Luna had just given her the reigns, granting her permission to take the lead and do as she liked. Straightening stoically, the weight of this responsibility slowly became clear. “I’m in charge… of making everypony happy?”
“If that’s what you want,” Luna grinned as she nuzzled Silver’s breast. “I grant you full access to my body and well of magic. Both are yours to do with as you see fit, mistress.”
Something snapped in Silver’s brain. Her wings flared imposingly as she pointed a commanding finger at Luna. “Pet. I order you to release Sir Thomas, this instant.”
Luna obliged, lifting her rump enough for Thomas to wiggle his way free as his cock extracted with a soft pop.
Heart thudding in the thrill of her actions, of commanding her goddess, Silver’s head swiveled around the room until she spied the ponyquin from earlier and grinned nefariously. “If you are to be my pet, then it’s only fitting for you to wear the appropriate attire.”
Luna didn’t need to see what Silver had to know what the bat pony had in mind. Panting eagerly, she levitated the collar over to the bed where she gently handed it over to her mistress. Nodding in approval, Silver unbuckled the collar before eyeing the slender beauty of Luna’s presented neck. She licked her lips as she reached out, caressing the taut skin with her palms as she fastened the lock and pulled back. The sight of the Princess-turned-Pet, the mighty alicorn reduced to a humble servant, caused her to grind her thighs together.
Silver stood in the bed, wobbling a little as her extended wings adjusted to compensate and keep balance. She folded her arms, trying to look as domineering as possible. “Pet! Mistress commands you to bark.”
“Arf!” Luna answered. Her tail wagged as she panted like a real mutt. “Arf, arf!”
Thomas and Moonlight stared in stunned silence at the display. Their minds boggled at how easily Luna had given into the command and the eagerness with which she carried it out. Had this really been something she’d been craving all this time?
Moonlight cleared her throat, drawing all eyes on her. Batting her eyes playfully, she beamed up at Silver. “Will the mistress be needing a throne?” She accented with a lick of her lips as she eyed the bat’s plot.
Silver’s eyes widened, but she kept her face frozen and gave a soft nod. She crouched, sticking her rump out as she slowly descended to the sheets below. Moonlight quickly scrambled into place in an act reminiscent of the Dukes of Hazzard jumping feet first through the open window of their car. She slid her body between Silver’s legs, her own legs shooting past the bowing Luna’s face. She eyed the approaching plot with a hungry lust. Grabbing for her cutie marks, Moonlight gently guided the bat’s rear down onto her face, the tight ass cheeks wrapping around her muzzle as her lips softly kissed Silver’s vulva in greeting, tasting the juices from her earlier climax. She kept her hands on the cutie marks, kneading them gently and earning some welcomed moans from Silver, or rather mistress.
“Jesus, that’s hot,” Thomas blurted. Now it was his turn to feel the weight of all eyes in the room. Only they weren’t looking at him, so much as the hand masturbating his cock. He froze, eyes widened in shock as he hadn’t even realized what he’d been doing. He almost pulled his hand away, only to hesitate.
“What’s the matter, Sir Thomas?” Silver was still trying to sound in charge.
Thomas chuckled, looking up from his cock to face her. “I’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about.” He chortled his epiphany as he resumed pumping at his cock. “I… I love you girls.”
“Awwwww!” The mares cooed, even Moonlight.
Thomas chortled more, finding the sight far too endearing as he decided to play along. “What would mistress have of me?” he bowed gracefully, never ceasing his pumps. “Do I look as silly as I feel?”
“Probably,” Silver said, her face flushed as Moonlight began her advance between her folds. She smirked as a new thought occurred. “Thomas,” she said to his masturbating penis. “Do you recall the story I told about my father and my mother’s wing?”
Thomas smiled and nodded. “I do. Why?”
Silver smiled deviously. “You may not have a wing, but I’d like to see you recreate the story with pet.”
Once filled in on the story, Luna could not sit up fast enough. She leaned back, pushing out her hips as her legs spread wide, leaving nothing to the imagination. “Like this, mistress?”
Now it was Silver’s turn to pant, and not just because Moonlight’s tongue had stopped teasingly short of her G-spot. “V-very good,” she panted and motioned to Thomas.
The human had stopped masturbating, looking between the mares for direction on exactly how this was supposed to work.
“We’ll start simple,” Silver instructed. “Use your fingers and we’ll go from there.”
Deciding he was far too horny and curious to resist, Thomas nodded and bent down in front of Luna’s slit, crouching beside Moonlight and unknowingly giving Silver an eyeful of his own delectable rear. All his focus was on Luna’s winking marehood as he set his hands on her inner thighs, their size dwarfing him and making him feel small. Without hesitation he dove in with a kiss, paying special attention to Luna’s clit. The mare bucked and writhed at first, but soon calmed.
Thomas frowned in disappointment. It wasn’t that long ago that Luna’s self-control wasn’t nearly so strong, that his touch could drive her absolutely wild. He’d prided himself on that, but such results had been growing harder and harder to achieve. Intellectually he understood, that Luna’s alicorn body had powerful needs that could only be satiated with powerful actions, but it still saddened him that he’d lost the power to make her happy on his own. These thoughts were quickly pushed aside as Thomas remembered he had a mission to carry out, to make his mare squirm and moan as his other mare had commanded.
Flexing his fingers before his face, Thomas flattened his hand into roughly the shape of a spear and poked at Luna’s entrance. She squeaked, and Thomas smiled, scooting over to allow Silver a clear view. He’d never really cared to think about all that had been here before, all that Luna’s hungry cunt had taken before him. But now, as he sank his fingers all the way to their bases, he had to wonder exactly how much of himself she’d be able to take. At the same time, a faint voice in the back of his head wondered if he had enough to give.
“I can handle it,” Luna grunted, fixing Thomas with a look of determination from between her massive boobs. “There’s no need to fret, my little human. I promise you won’t hurt me.”
Thomas let the truth of Luna’s words fill him, only to look down and realize how far his hand had sunk in. There’d been no resistance, save for the occasional wink, as Thomas marveled at what he saw. His hand had been consumed all the way to the wrist. “Wow.”
“Ai’ll say,” Silver agreed idly, her eyes roaming over the delicious sight of Luna’s spread body to Thomas’ pert little butt, balls, and cock.
Thomas chuckled nervously and looked back over his shoulder. “How much can a mare take, exactly?”
“As much as ‘er stallion can give,” Silver tittered through her accent.
“Challenge accepted,” Thomas smirked. Aligning his arm, he sunk his hand in further. The occasional wink forced him to pause, but otherwise his progress was unimpeded. Two inches. Three inches. It wasn’t long before Thomas was down to his elbow. “Ya know, I remember you being a lot tighter,” he commented.
“Do ‘uman mares note adjust to zeir partner’s size?” Silver asked. “Alzou, zis goes far beyond anyzing Ai ‘ave seen before.”
“Alicorns,” Luna purred as her horn lit, as if the one word was enough of an answer. There came a noise from beneath Silver’s rear as Moonlight began to cry out into her plot. It wasn’t long before the others spotted the tingle of magic around the unicorn’s sex. “We are a gifted lot.”
“Pet!” Silver snapped, reminding Luna of her place. “Iou vill only speak vhen spoken to.”
“Mistress,” Luna bowed, cheeks bright red. It had been so long since she’d gotten a proper scolding.
Silver rapidly listed out a series of instructions, all in Prench. Thomas had no time to inquire before he felt himself wrapped up in Luna’s magic. His arm remained in place, two inches past the elbow, as the rest of him levitated into the air. He turned back to find Silver and Moonlight also levitating, and coming closer. Moonlight’s hooves slipped beneath the human; the left detouring around and over Luna’s hip while the right prodded at the alicorn’s entrance, just below Thomas’ arm.
Despite the logical part of his brain screaming that what he was seeing was impossible, Thomas nevertheless bore witness to Moonlight’s magically encased hoof sinking into Luna’s snatch. That same logical portion tried to latch onto the magic, using it to argue that Luna was bending reality to make what his vision was seeing possible. He didn’t even notice the way his rear raised into the air until he felt Silver’s arms grab around his hips. Surprised, Thomas looked back to find his butt in Silver’s face, her breath hot against his taint.
“Finally,” Silver gasped before pressing her nose to the human’s taint. He tried to squirm, but the magic held him fast. “Iou’ve been teasing me vhith zis plot zense ve met,” she accused. “Now, ite’s mine!” She inhaled sharply through her nose as her broad tongue scooped up his testicles, sucking them into her mouth.
Thomas made a number of incoherent noises as his mind tried to catch up with what had happened. The feeling of Silver’s tongue lapping hungrily at his rear felt strange, but not uncomfortable. His efforts to comprehend were cut short as Silver gripped his cock and began jerking him off.
“Luna above!” Thomas looked down to find the newly freed Moonlight, her cum-stained face in awe as she took in the sight that had previously been denied. Thomas’ ass was being eaten by a mare she had considered a rival not terribly long ago, all while he was elbow deep and she up to her ankle in Luna’s love tunnel. The whole scene was mind boggling, and something the mare was fairly certain no pony had ever even written about before. She moved, startling her back to reality as Luna’s active magic continued to pull the unicorn’s leg down deep past her knee. Her body writhed in ecstasy as Luna’s pussy massaged her leg and her magic worked the rest of her. “Is this a dream?”
Thomas grinned wryly as he hung upside down, his arm still sinking into Luna’s lower mouth as Silver gargled his balls and ate his ass. “Considering who we’re with, it might just be.”
“Then let’s make it a good one,” Moonlight declared as she leaned up and kissed Thomas fiercely. She shot her tongue into his mouth, feeling driven to share the lingering taste of Silver’s juices in her mouth, which he accepted with hungry moans. Alas, it could not last as the continuing sinking soon left their position too awkward for the unicorn to maintain. Her leg had been fully consumed by Luna’s sex. Thomas and Silver had both been moved out of her reach, but she didn’t have long to feel left out before she saw Luna’s hand snake down, sliding past the unicorn’s marehood as it did something beneath the alicorns. “What are you…” Her words were cut short as she felt something poke at her lips.
Thomas was now shoulder deep in Luna’s pussy, granting little choice but to look down at Moonlight’s sex. As such, he had front row seats as Luna removed her hand, revealing the alicorn’s cock. It was small at first, but in no time it grew unimpeded into Moonlight’s sex. They cried out as unicorn and alicorn became one, all while Thomas could not take his eyes from the bulge that grew in Moonlight’s abdomen all the way to her stomach.
It was only after hilting herself fully that Luna began thrusting. It was slow at first, easing Moonlight into the motions as the smaller mare acclimated to her girth. Using her magic, she pulled the unicorn back, unsheathing her cock from the mare’s snatch, as well as the mare’s leg from her own, before pulling them back together, sending ripples of pleasure through both her sex organs. The alicorn cock was not something Silver had ordered, but Luna felt her mistress, had she not had her mouth full of Thomas’ ass, would have approved. Another slow dual extraction followed by a swift double penetration, and both mares moaned with want.
Not wanting to be nothing but a passive fuck toy, Thomas began spinning his sheathed arm within Luna’s sex, fighting against the friction of Moonlight’s leg as he strived to touch every part of the alicorn’s soft insides. With his free hand he reached down, past Moonlight’s cutie mark until he found her puckered star. It twitched at his touch, parting shortly after in anticipation. At this angle, he could do little but insert a couple fingers, his hand moving with the mares’ thrusting, but it seemed enough for Moonlight as she looked at him through tear-filled eyes. She’d never felt so full in her life. It hurt a little to be so stretched out, but it was a divine kind of hurt that made her feel complete inside.
Silver ran her tongue across the crack of Thomas’ plot, her lips smacking hungrily against his smooth skin. She was only vaguely aware that, in her pursuit of human ass, she had lost control. The thought mattered little, as everypony seemed to be enjoying themselves. There would be time to learn to be a proper mistress later, roughly sometime after she found a way to eat both human and alicorn plots at the same time.
At this thought, Silver felt Luna’s hand cup her backside. As the Princess’ digits squeezed her plot, she felt a prodding of her back door. Unlike Thomas’ anus, which had remained stubbornly closed no matter how she had prodded, her own trained plot hole opened graciously for its guest. The bat pony pressed her muzzle tightly between Thomas’ ass cheeks as the warm appendage sunk deeper into her cave, allowing her to share in the same sense of fullness as Moonlight. Astoundingly, like Thomas’, the cock growing from Luna’s palm also had a pulse, causing Silver’s insides to reverberate with its steady thrum. She could take it no more and finally called out her feelings. “I love alicorns!”
Minds hazy with lust, it did not take long before the others made their own declarations.
“I love humans!” Moonlight cried happily.
“I love mares!” Thomas beamed excitedly.
“WE LOVE YOU ALL!” Luna boomed in the Royal Canterlot voice, shaking the entire room and the people within it.
It was the final straw as the foursome climaxed at once. Silver into Luna’s hand, Thomas into Silver’s hand and down on Moonlight’s face, and Moonlight and Luna into each other, the excess bursting out onto Thomas’ face. The mares and man fell lifelessly into the alicorn’s magical grip. She lowered them into the sheets, panting contentedly as she relished in the afterglow. It was only one orgasm, but it had been a mighty one, more than enough for her alicorn cravings, at least for the moment.
Luna scooped up her lovers, crossing her legs as she laid them neatly in her lap. She sighed blissfully as her eyes roamed over their sweat stained exhausted bodies. The room reeked with sex as Luna set a hand over her heart, feeling it beat with love for those who had made her so happy. Running the night’s events through her mind, she performed a silent evaluation of everypony’s performance, including her own.
Thomas was as dutiful as ever, his love and commitment easily compensating for any lack of physical ability. His masturbation in front of Silver, she reasoned, had been a sort of milestone in its own way, showing his trust and security with all parties present. Moonlight’s participation, Luna felt, left room for improvement. Sure she’d acted, but there was little she’d initiated on her own. Perhaps that was her thing? Perhaps she needed to be trained in obedience, just as Silver needed training in dominance. Everypony had their place, strengths and weaknesses, as well as preferences. If the guard could find a place as an obedient follower, or anything else for that matter, Luna would be happy.
Next was Silver, the star of the hour. Luna nodded in approval as she ran a finger through the mare’s mane. She’d had Silver pinned as a potential dom since the moment they met, despite all her rough edges. Like a sculptor pulling a masterpiece out of a marble block, Silver only needed somepony to help bring it out. However, while being a dom didn’t come as naturally as Luna would have hoped, she certainly got a kick out of playing the part. For a first try, the little bat performed admirably, pushing past her compulsion to worship to put her Princess in her place, if only for a little while.
As for herself, Luna’s chest puffed in pride as she beamed at nothing in particular. She’d exercised a few of her favorite kinky spells with ease, delighted at not being rusty. In particular, the Princess giggled at the glistening sight of Thomas’ arm and Moonlight’s leg. They’d stopped short of where she’d liked, but that was fine for now. Luna knew that Thomas especially might not be comfortable with such an experience, despite his own preferences. Ancient as they were, alicorns were nothing if not patient, at least most of the time. She would wait and ease them into the more elaborate perversions, building their trust in her and each other until the achieved the full ideal of the family herd.
Luna’s lovers stirred in her lap, bodies rubbing against one another. The mares were clearly the most conscious as Thomas moved with the least energy. Luna watched in elation as their eyes fell upon one another and grins grew upon their faces. Pleasantries and congratulations were exchanged, followed by Silver farting while the others tickled her in righteous retribution.
At a gurgle from Luna’s stomach, the alicorn used her magic to activate the bell marked for food. The maid arrived shortly after to take their orders, but was not allowed in the room. Besides sparing everypony embarrassment, Luna did not care to open the door and unleash the combination of alicorn, pony, and human sex odors onto unsuspecting staff, at least not right now. Orders were given through the door, only to be teleported inside when the maid knocked again. The foursome ate their fill, speaking little but saying much as they exchanged contented smiles.
There were still matters, serious ones, that needed to be addressed, but that could wait for later. For now, the newly initiated Silver had recovered enough for another round.
Thomas lay in Luna’s bed with a pillow propped against his back, naked as the day he was born. In his lap Silver, also naked, rested her head as he gently combed her mane. Across the room Moonlight, stripped down to her linens, was catching up on the daily news. The sight of the mares’ nude forms, though beautiful, was no longer enough to give him an erection on its own. The thought of them in skimpy lingerie, however…
“Hey,” Silver chided, adjusting her head so that his cock no longer poked her ear.
“Sorry,” he beamed.
“No sexy thoughts when brushing my mane. The last thing I need is stallion seed in my ear.”
Thomas grinned wryly. “You’re a concubine to Princess Luna. I’m pretty sure ‘no sexy thoughts’ isn’t something you’re really allowed to say.”
Silver snorted. “I’ll say what I like and you can’t stop me.”
“Careful what you wish for,” Moonlight warned, never looking up from the paper. “He might just take that as a challenge.”
“It’s true,” Thomas conceded. “I might.”
Annoyed at being ganged up on once more, Silver blew a strand of hair out of her eyes, only for it to fall back into place. Thomas removed it for her, caressing the side of her head and up her ear as he did. Her vision now clear, she looked up and narrowed her eyes on him. “I’m mad at you.”
Thomas’ brow furrowed. “Any particular reason?”
“You make it very hard to stay mad at you,” she snorted.
Grinning, Thomas leaned down and kissed the bat mare’s nose. She just let out a contented sigh and cozied back into his lap.
“Silver. Were you aware of this?” Moonlight asked.
Silver looked up to find Moonlight’s nose still buried in the paper. “Aware of what, Moonhoney?”
“Apparently there’s a new trend of sexual practices that’s been getting a lot of traction as of late.”
Silver grabbed hold of Thomas’ hand when he had stopped petting and gently guided him back to work. “This is news to me. What’s happening?”
“They’re calling it a ‘sexual revolution’,” Moonlight read from the paper, skimming back to find where the story began. “Canterlot is experiencing what some are referring to as a ‘sexual revolution’. Ponies across the city have been engaging in unprecedented levels of oral sex. What makes this so revolutionary is that it is the stallions who are using their mouths on mares!” Moonlight flipped the paper around and pointed at the line in question. “See. They even put a little exclamation mark and everything.”
“Oh my,” Silver gasped softly as a suspicious eye turned up at Thomas. “Wherever do you think such a bold practice might have originated?”
Thomas glared back at the gray mare. “Why does it sound like you’re accusing me?”
“The practice is believed to have originated in the herds of Celestia’s concubines,” Moonlight informed with a shit-eating-grin, sealing Thomas’ guilt.
“But… she… how?” Thomas’ stammering was short lived as he met the knowing looks of the other mares and face palmed. There was no need to ask how this had come about. Luna, without a doubt, had blabbed to her sister, who in turn had passed it on to her concubines, who brought it back to their herds, who finally could not help but gossip.
Moonlight read on. “Apparently the nobility thinks the Princess is starting a new trend and they’re all hopping on the bandwagon,” she tittered.
“These are exciting times we live in,” Silver commented idly. “First Luna, then the Elements of Harmony, and now Equestria’s first human is sharing with us the practices of his homeland,” she hummed contentedly as she nuzzled into Thomas’ lap. “I can’t wait to see what happens next.”
I most certainly can, Thomas thought uneasily. Imagining all the catastrophes depicted in the show was worrisome enough, but the uncertainty of all the different ways they might unfold just added to his anxiety. He averted his gaze, but not before catching Moonlight’s worried look.
“Speaking of interesting times,” the unicorn interjected eagerly. “I just got word from the patent office. They’re very excited with the Twister game. It shouldn’t be much longer until the deal is sealed.”
“What then?” Silver asked, not catching on to the sudden change in topics. “I admit I’m not all that familiar with the patent process.”
“The guy at the office said we should find a distributor,” Thomas answered. “We talked it out and he gave us a list of companies he thought could do the trick.”
“Thomas seems to favor Plan to Game over some of the bigger companies,” Moonlight added contemplatively. “They’re a family owned local toy store. While a little on the small side if you ask me, they also produce all their toys and games without industrial machines. Everything’s either handmade or crafted by small scale unicorns.”
“I like the idea of giving the little guy a fighting chance,” Thomas said with a shrug. “They’re doing alright now, but just imagine the boost when they get exclusive rights to this brand new game made by the Halloween maker.” He tossed his head in a mocking show of pride, earning small snickers from the mares. “As you’ve just shown, the ponies of Canterlot are suckers for trends. So if they advertise it right, their store should be getting a major boom in sales.”
“Not even an entrepreneur a month and you’re already a philanthropist,” Moonlight cooed with a sly look, causing her human to blush. “By the way, you might want to take a look at your bank statement if you haven’t already.”
“Oh?” Silver asked in intrigue.
“Yeah. I mean, I figured I had quite a bit but…” Thomas trailed off. “I didn’t expect I’d have that much.”
“How much?” Silver asked.
“Enough to start his own toy store if he wanted,” Moonlight bubbled giddily. “My bank statement might not have had as many zeroes, but it was still something. Let’s just say, if our last deposits are anything to go by, neither of us will be hurting for bits any time soon,” she chuckled.
Silver sat up and made a thoughtful sound. “My parents left me a little to live on my own and I’ve been getting a modest stipend from the crown as an attendant. Perhaps it is about time I checked in on my own finances.”
“Just make sure you have a fainting couch on standby.” At Silver’s puzzlement, Thomas elaborated. “Moonlight nearly passed out, and she nearly did it on me. If the guy behind me hadn’t been so fast, she might have squished me.”
“As if you’re not used to it,” Moonlight shot back, earning a chuckle from Thomas.
Silver sighed contentedly as the back-and-forth continued. The comradery and love these two shared was plain for any to see, and she was grateful to be a part of it. Knowing that the harem was meant to be a family, that this level of openness was all but demanded, Silver steeled herself for what she needed to say. “May I ask you two something?”
The pair paused and Thomas wrapped an arm around Silver’s side, pulling her close, silently grateful for her smaller size compared to the other mares he had to deal with. “What’s on your mind?”
Silver took one last calming breath before yanking the bandage off. “Am I doing a good job, with Luna I mean?”
Thomas wrapped an arm around her and held her close, “Of course you are.” Thomas assured, rocking her from side to side. “Or was the alicorn howling like an animal as you spanked her not a clear enough indicator?”
Silver chuckled, indicating she wasn’t Thomas-level down on herself. “I just feel like there’s more I could be doing,” she sighed. “I mean, Luna’s just so,” she held out her arms, approximating Luna’s grandness, “and I’m just so…”
“Cute,” Thomas finished for her, nuzzling her cheek. “I think Luna’s got a thing for things that’re small and cute.”
“I’m not small!” Silver huffed, pulling away from Thomas as he chuckled.
“What? I’m small too, so I’m allowed to say it.” He pulled her back into his arms and began kissing along her jaw. Her wings shifted in his grasp as she put up a token resistance against his advances. Eventually she surrendered and allowed him to do as he pleased.
“It’s still weird for a stallion to take the lead like this,” she grumbled halfheartedly. She’d already accepted that a good portion of what her family had taught to her of sexual etiquette was irrelevant in an alicorn’s bedroom, especially with her role, but some things were harder to shake than others.
“If you want him to stop, just say so,” Moonlight beamed over her shoulder, partially to tease Silver, but mostly proud of Thomas for coming this far in opening up.
Flushed, Silver turned her head in a huff. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.”
“Boy, you are upset,” Thomas said in concern as he ceased his kissing. “Want me to rub your shoulders while you talk about it?”
“Please?” she asked meekly.
“And the cuteness strikes again,” Thomas declared as he moved behind the mare and gripped her shoulders, mindful of her fidgeting wings. “Now why don’t you relax and tell Moonlight all about it.”
“Why me?” Moonlight asked, suspecting that her reading was about to be further sidelined.
“Because she’s facing you, Moonhoney,” he teased.
Also eager for the chance to annoy Moonlight, Silver held up her hand in pleading, giving her best puppy dog pout. After learning that she was one of Luna’s reincarnated lovers, Silver had begun looking at Moonlight with new eyes. Not that she hadn’t already been falling for the mare, but this revelation seemed to seal the deal for her. As she reasoned, if they had been intimate in the past, then neither had any business having any hang ups in the present.
“Cuteness,” the unicorn snorted as she turned around in her chair to face her smaller lovers on the bed. “So, sweet wings, what’s got your tail in a twist this fine evening?”
Silver sighed, seeing no point in delaying the inevitable. “I wish I were a unicorn.”
Moonlight blinked in surprise. “Why?”
“I mean no disrespect to my heritage, and obviously flying is a privilege I’d never want to part from,” Silver insisted. “I just wish I could, you know, cast spells.”
“What kind of spells?” Thomas asked.
Silver mumbled under her breath, causing the others to lean in and ask for clarification. “Mind control,” she whispered. “To be a better mistress for Luna,” she added urgently, wanting to dispel any questions in her motivation. Mind control spells were highly restricted for their potential for illegal use.
Moonlight relaxed, sighing in relief as she understood. “You think you need to make Luna your magic slave to make her happy?”
Silver shrunk. “When you put it that way…”
“Isn’t that like cheating?” Thomas asked.
“How so?” Silver inquired.
Thomas paused to collect his thoughts. “Stop me if I’m wrong, but the whole dom-sub thing is about giving control to someone you trust, right?” He waited for the mares’ nods. “But it’s still voluntary, something the sub agrees too of their own will, but can be stopped with a safe word. Magic just,” he frowned, “takes away that trust. It stops being about consenting adults having fun and starts getting into some really gray areas, making it more about you than them.”
Silver made a sound of acknowledgement and nodded. “The way you put it,” she laughed softly, “it really sounds like it is missing something.”
“Doing it with magic takes away the magic of the moment,” Thomas offered.
“Oh, that’s good,” Moonlight said, turning around and scribbling something down in her notes. “I knew it was a good idea to herd with a writer.”
Thomas chuckled at the unicorn’s remark. “Anyway, since it’s all just role play, you don’t need magic. Luna’s happy enough to take commands on her own, and you seem happy enough to give them.” He and Silver exchanged looks of understanding. “Seriously, though, it’s like you become a whole different pony when you’ve got Luna behind closed doors. It’s almost scary.” Thomas avoided accusing the mare of having little dog syndrome.
Silver averted her gaze guiltily. It was true that, once she was in the zone, the little bat had a tendency to get a little carried away. Luna had yet to use any of their safe words, so Silver never felt too guilty about doing things like leaving marks on the glory that was her royal moon, but Thomas had managed to touch upon what had really been bothering her.
“But should I be different?” Silver asked to the confusion of her lovers. “What I mean to say is that it doesn’t seem right to change like that. Wouldn’t it be better if I were a dom all the time, if only for the sake of consistency?”
Thomas threw his arms around Silver’s middle, earning a surprised squeak as he held her close. He laughed into her neck as he looked over at Moonlight. “Is this what it’s like dealing with me when I start getting down on myself?”
Moonlight chuckled as she journeyed across the room and onto the bed, snuggling up to Silver’s side. “A little, but hugs usually help you too.”
Silver tried to struggle against the combined warmth of her lovers as a blush took her cheeks. However, her heart simply wasn’t in it and she accepted her fate to be snuggled into submission.
“You’re fine as you are,” Thomas said into Silver’s mane. “It’d be weird if you started acting like a drill sergeant 24/7. You’re more fun when you can relax in your downtime.”
“Damn you and your logic,” Silver growled, exposing her fangs. When Thomas did not shy away, she seized his head and pulled him into a deep kiss, which faltered after Moonlight began tickling her.
Thus began a rather ordinary morning for Luna’s harem.
**********
Lunch was held in Luna’s office, where Silver took the opportunity to play with a few of the ropes she had the Princess wear under her dress. Luna agreed that magic, while fun, would be too much of a shortcut in the way Silver proposed; adding that being an alicorn meant that the bat couldn’t do anything even with magic.
Afterwards, the gang met with a contingent of lunar servants outside of Moonlight’s room in the barracks. By order of Princess Luna, they were to bring Moonlight’s possessions to one of the castle’s guest rooms. The unicorn stood alongside the lead maid as orders were given out, directing ponies this way and that as Moonlight asked them to be careful with the more fragile objects. However, the maid soon grew irritated with the unicorn and instructed her to help with the move.
“Thomas. What are you doing?” Moonlight asked as Thomas carried a small stack of books beside her.
“Helping,” he replied matter-of-factly as ponies bustled about around them. “Why?”
Moonlight decided against starting a needless argument and settled for kissing her stallion on the cheek. Everyone did their part in carrying the mare’s few possessions through the halls and up to the lunar wing of the castle where the new room awaited. The room had been freshly restored and cleaned the evening prior. It was nearly identical to Silver’s, save for the lack of Luna posters. Moonlight was allowed to take command as she dictated to the staff where everything should go. After settling on a place for everything, there was no denying that the room felt a little empty.
“One side, please,” a stallion warned as he entered, carrying in Thomas’ typewriter, followed by a pair of unicorns carrying Thomas’ desk, and one last pegasus who carried the wooden sword. “Where would you like these, ma’am?”
“That spot over there looks fine.” Thomas pointed at the far left window.
“Perfect!” Moonlight clapped her hands and motioned for the ponies to set the items where indicated. The typewriter was set on the desk and the sword was hung up on a rack. When all was settled, the staff wished the concubines well and filed out, leaving the room looking emptier than ever.
“Maybe you should call home and have them deliver some of your old things?” Silver suggested as she wandered around the room, eyes surveying the bare walls as she imagined what could be done with the empty space. “That, or we could go shopping later?”
Thomas laughed under his breath, thoroughly amused by how naturally Silver said ‘we’. He looked back at the mares, his mares. Moonlight’s linens hung loosely and uncomplimentary from her body as she walked up to the writing desk. Thomas’ eyes drifted south below her tail, where memory painted a very vivid picture of the muscled mare’s bountiful booty that lay hidden. No doubt she was picturing them continuing their book, sitting side by side and, in all honesty, probably distracting one another with playful pinches.
Silver was also facing away, allowing Thomas to get a much better view of her rump and the loincloth wrapped tightly around it. Her wings fidgeted, letting the human know that she was also letting her mind wander. Perhaps she was considering loaning Moonlight some of her Luna posters, or maybe they’d go out and get some new ones. It was all so relaxingly domestic.
Guess I’m finally going native, Thomas thought with a chuckle as he walked up beside Moonlight, only to find her frowning. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s just… this is all becoming too real,” Moonlight sighed as she sat at the desk’s bench. Thomas set his hands on her shoulders, which she accepted appreciatively. “Moving here, living with you,” she bubbled. “It’s like it’s only now clicking that we’re really herded, but it still doesn’t seem real.”
Thomas considered reminding Moonlight that they were technically still courting, but was unable to find any evidence to back up that assertion. “Ya know, all things considered, it really does seem like living together is the final step.” Filled with contented happiness, Thomas began kissing along the crook of Moonlight’s neck, earning a surprised moan from the mare. “So how does it feel, finally moving in with your stallion?”
“She can’t answer, because you haven’t moved in yet,” Silver cut in, surprising the others with her blunt tone. “It doesn’t seem real because this isn’t really your space.”
Thomas straightened and frowned at the half naked bat mare. “How so?”
Silver fixed her gaze on Moonlight. “You really haven’t noticed?” She rolled her eyes when the unicorn shook her head. “It’s the smell.”
On cue, Moonlight began sniffing heavily. It wasn’t long before her eyes widened in realization.
“Now you get it,” Silver complimented.
“Um, can the local human get a little hint?” Thomas asked.
“You two haven’t officially moved in yet because the room doesn’t smell like you,” Silver explained. “It’s an old herding instinct. Mares seek out a safe space to nest and have their families. When they find somewhere, they have to mark it so the rest of the herd knows and other herds know the space is claimed.”
“Marking?” Thomas repeated as an ominous feeling welled up inside, telling him where this was going. “This is gonna lead to a sex thing, isn’t it?” His answer came in the form of a pair of firm hands gripping his shoulders and the slow lick of a broad tongue against his neck.
“You don’t have to say it like that,” Silver tittered at Thomas’ discomfort. “I’d say you should feel honored, but it’s really nothing so profound.”
Moonlight was guiding Thomas towards their new bed, her intent clear as he became aware of a certain odor in the air.
Silver watched with an ear to ear grin as the human was marched to his fate. “It’s actually terribly mundane. All herds do it when they move to a new place. Frankly, you owe your mare the peace of mind in knowing she has a home to return to.”
“Is the guilt really necessary,” Thomas groaned as they arrived at the bed. Moonlight had climbed in front of him, stripping with her magic as she shook her rump for his entertainment. It had an effect. “I mean,” he giggled as he crawled slowly after her, “it’s not like I need much coaxing.”
“Have fun, you two.” Silver waved her fingers playfully as she made for the door and Thomas got into position. “But you might want to check the cabinets for herbs. Don’t want to tire yourselves out and leave nothing for your Princess.”
Moonlight blinked, rethinking her plan. Unceremoniously she bolted from the bed for the bathroom, her suddenness causing Thomas to lose his balance. Silver just laughed at the whole situation and closed the door behind her.
**********
Later in the evening they moved to the gym, where Talon waited with their practice swords.
“Step one, two, three, four,” the griffon instructed as Thomas stepped to the beat, swinging his sword with each step. “Step again. Step, two, three, four.” Thomas stepped back as Talon advanced, taking smaller steps to accommodate for her smaller opponent.
On a nearby mat, Silver and Moonlight were practicing their own sword play. Silver, as it turned out, was rather adept at fencing. It wasn’t quite combat ready, but it still granted Moonlight a more even match than Talon had with Thomas.
“Tell me chimp. How’s the new girl working out? Two, three, four,” she mumbled, never losing the beat.
“Been five days,” Thomas panted, “and nothing’s exploded.”
“Hear that, sweet wings!” Talon called, advancing. “Boss says you’ve got some serious work to do.”
“Shut up,” Thomas groaned, advancing right back. “She’s doing just fine and she doesn’t need you harassing her.” Thomas retreated. “That’s my job.”
Talon beamed proudly. “You’ve come a long way, little buddy. I’m almost tempted to start calling you by your real name.”
“But only almost, right?” Thomas asked and Talon nodded. “But in all seriousness, she’s doing really well, at least that’s what Sun Dancer told me.”
“Did she really?” Silver asked, narrowly avoiding a blow in her moment of distraction.
“She plays the part well,” Thomas said in an approximation of Dancer’s voice. “She said it’s fine so long as it’s just a game, and that you’ve got real potential as a lead-oof!” He grunted as Talon tackled him to the ground.
The griffon grinned cheekily as she lay atop him. “You weren’t paying attention.”
“I managed to not notice the massive girth that was Tali’s butt,” Thomas bemoaned dramatically. “How will I ever live down the shame?”
Talon chuckled as she climbed up off the human, offering a claw to help him up, and they resumed sparring. Once they were good and sweaty, the group moved to the showers where the females grouped around Thomas in a protective wall. He still had issues with public nudity.
“What word of the next applicants?” Silver asked as she scrubbed Thomas’ back. “Surely they must be growing anxious for their turn to apply.”
Thomas grimaced as he ran a wash cloth over Moonlight’s toned stomach. “Shouldn’t there be more of a grace period to, ya know, let the new members get used to things?”
Silver frowned in dissatisfaction. Thomas’ answer was far from unexpected, but his timidity seemed inappropriate for his station. “As Senior Concubine, such a policy is your prerogative to instigate, and I am grateful for the consideration on my behalf. However, I can assure you I have no qualms with expanding the harem further. Quite the opposite actually.”
“She ain’t wrong, chimp,” Talon said as she massaged shampoo into her head feathers. “As a soldier who’s been bucking alicorns for a decade, take it from me that I can tell when they’re getting antsy. My advice’d be to start the next interview as quickly as possible, but also try something new with Moonbutt.” Talon explained, giving a half smile when she spotted Silver giving her a grateful nod.
Thomas sighed, once more accepting the wisdom of Talon’s words. They finished cleaning themselves off before agreeing to continue this rather sensitive discussion for later. For now, Silver had lessons with Sun Dancer.
**********
“Again!” The tyrant unicorn bellowed, her normally trim and shiny peach coat largely hidden beneath the black leather of her dominatrix bikini. She held a riding crop in both hands, twisting it as she watched her student work.
Silver nodded. Rearing her arm back, feeling the way the leather chafed around her thighs and shoulders, she brought the paddle down on Steel Hoof’s rump once more. His toned backside rippled under the impact that reverberated off the walls while he cried into his gag. They’d been at this for some time, and the diminutive bat pony was taking to the routine rather well. “Count, slave!”
“Hwenhee!” The minotaur muffled, which Silver took as twenty. Steel Hoof had been chained down to a special chair that propped his backside up in optimum spanking position. His cock was left free to dangle, half erect and occasionally shooting out globs of pre.
“Good,” Silver purred as she set the paddle down on the table before strutting up beside the powerful beast. He flinched as she set her hand on his tender red buttocks, but she soon eased him into relaxation with a gentle touch and a melodic hum. “I like my pets to be happy.”
“Very good,” Sun Dancer slapped the riding crop into her palm, indicating it was time to stop as she walked over to inspect. Leaning down for a closer look at the minotaur’s ass, she made a thoughtful sound. “Your punishment technique seems adequate enough, but your rewards leave much to be desired.”
“Ma’am?” Silver stood at attention.
“Pain is a useful motivator for obedience, but unless the subject is a true masochist, it will not be sufficient to satisfy them,” Dancer lectured. “Further, you must consider alternate punishments besides the physical. Anypony can spank, but to be a true top you must inspire loyalty in those who trust their bodies to your care.” She began massaging Steel’s backside as a finger slipped into his anus. “Be rough if you must, but never let the subject doubt that you act out of compassion,” she said over Steel’s moans. “They must want to please you, must understand that the punishment is necessary so that they can be ready to receive the pleasure you want to bestow.”
Silver watched Sun Dancer carefully, committing the actions to memory. “Luna generally prefers the punishment aspect of our games; ropes, embarrassment, and especially the spanking,” she chuckled.
“All fine for the time being, but the novelty of the pain will only last so long.” Sun Dancer had extracted her finger and moved on to teasing the bull’s fully erect penis. “Trust and compassion are the key. So long as Luna trusts you to have her best interests at heart, you’ll both be able to play to your hearts content.” She smiled serenely.
“Does, um…” the bat averted her gaze. She wasn’t embarrassed about watching the unicorn masturbate the minotaur, but the personal nature of her question.
“Does Celestia like these games?” Sun Dancer finished for her, continuing her rhythmic pumping. “Not often. Mostly it’s a few of the others that like this play, and she plays along for their sake, but it’s not really her preference. Again, acting for the sake of others is but one aspect of the trust and compassion you’ll need to embody. What does Luna do when she’s not playing the sub?”
Silver nodded. “When she’s not playing as a ‘pet’, Luna tends to be the one in charge. It’d be really easy for her to just force herself on us, but I think I can tell when she’s holding back.”
“That’s not good.” Sun Dancer frowned, her pumping slowing. “If she holds back too much, that can cause tension to build in the worst way possible.”
Silver stepped forward, worry clear on her face. “What do we do?”
“I don’t do squat,” Sun Dancer dismissed flatly. “But you’ve got two options. One: up your game and get into the really kinky stuff. Two: get on to the next interview and recruit reinforcements. If you ask me, I’d recommend both.”
“Talon said the same thing,” Silver agreed. “And while those do seem to be the obvious solutions, Thomas seemed rather hesitant about the idea.”
Steel Hoof gave a muffled howl as Sun Dancer brought him to climax. Idly licking her fingers clean, she sat on a nearby bench and motioned for Silver to sit beside her while Steel came down in front of them. “I want to talk to you about him.”
Silver’s ears folded back. She had a good idea of where this was going. “You want to talk about Sir Thomas’ suitability as Senior Concubine?”
“Then you’ve seen it too?”
Silver nodded. “He’s a very sweet little colt, always eager to please and put others first, and his loyalty to Luna is beyond question, but he is not fit as a leader,” she sighed. It felt like a betrayal to say these words, and the bat could only hope that Sun Dancer could ease her doubts.
“Nail on the head,” Sun Dancer relented as she stretched her arms up, only to let one fall around Silver’s shoulders. Keeping her eyes on Steel Hoof, she asked “Does it bother you to say these things?”
Silver slumped against the bench. “Yes.”
“Good.” Sun Dancer rubbed at Silver’s shoulder. “What we do is no ordinary job. It’s basically a family with pay checks, and that means stuff can get pretty personal sometimes,” she sighed. “You want to make everypony happy, and it can get pretty frustrating when that can’t happen, especially when tensions rise and somepony says something they regret.”
Silver listened intently, feeling a lump in her throat. She imagined some of the worst fights her own family had gotten into and knew full well what Sun Dancer was talking about. Something as simple as a quarrel over a brush had the potential to spiral into something that could render two or more ponies unwilling to speak to each other for quite a while.
“But as Senior Concubine, it’s my job to push past hurt feelings, smack some heads around if I have to, whatever it takes until everypony remembers that they love each other and need to work together.”
Silver nodded absently as she took in Sun Dancer’s words. “And Thomas can’t do that. His… condition does not allow for it, at least not now.”
Sun Dancer nodded, her face free of expression. “But what about you? Could you do what’s necessary, to knock heads until everypony stops being stupid?”
Silver flinched. She opened her mouth, ready to protest that this wasn’t what she wanted, but a look from the old unicorn told her she’d get her own head knocked if she tried to deny it. Of course that’s where this is going, she thought to herself as she straightened up and met Sun Dancer’s eyes. “As it stands, I am the one most fit to serve as Luna’s Senior Concubine. However, I can’t just go up and, as you say, knock his head until he surrenders the position.”
Sun Dancer nodded, the corner of her mouth curving into a smile. “Good call. Pushing past hurt feelings doesn’t mean trampling over them. So, if you want this job, the first test’ll be to figure out how to get it without trampling any hooves.”
Nodding, it didn’t take long for Silver to think of a response. “It should be his idea. If I can show him that I’m the better fit, and let him suggest it, there won’t be any hard feelings.”
Sun Dancer nodded. “That’s certainly one idea. Thomas has regularly expressed a desire for ponies to be up front with him, but I can see the merit of your proposal.” She made a thoughtful sound. “In the end, our two harems are separate, so it’s your call to make. Just make sure you’re ready to live with the consequences.”
**********
In Moonlight’s new room, freshly marked, the mares sat to either side of the man on the bed while Talon sat across from them at the desk. “Attentive Eye has the list, right?”
Silver grimaced once more. “The list of applicants? Shouldn’t that be in your possession?” She said to Thomas.
Thomas flinched, but relaxed when Moonlight set a hand on his shoulder. She smiled at him reassuringly, only to give Silver a look of warning to be gentler with her words.
Silver’s ears folded back submissively, accepting Moonlight’s position above her, but she did not back down. “Perhaps you and I could have a talk with Lady Dancer, to learn more about how a harem is supposed to be managed. I know of what my parents told me, and you have the work experience, so together we might work to figure everything out.”
Talon silently watched the scene in front of her like an owl. Silver had made an obvious power play, requesting equal knowledge in leadership, as well as subtly requesting greater authority. Moonlight, Talon observed, was deeply conflicted. The unicorn’s gut instinct was to shut down challenges to her authority as lead mare; except that it wasn’t her authority being challenged in the herd, but her stallion’s in the harem. Her body language had already betrayed her confusion on how to react, leaving Silver to press her advantage.
“Thomas needs help,” Silver stated bluntly. “He hasn’t been properly mentored as a Senior Concubine should be, being forced into a position he hasn’t been equipped to handle.” The key was not to blame Thomas directly. The bat didn’t want Thomas’ feelings hurt any more than Moonlight did, but it was this very sensitivity that drove Silver on. She needed to act, not only for the good of the harem, but for Thomas’ own wellbeing.
“I think that’d be best.” Thomas conceded. “I’m never gonna learn until I start doing it. So, if you guys are willing to help, maybe the four of us could-”
“Not too sure you should count me, chimp.” Talon interjected. “I mean, I can consult, but this isn’t really my harem. It’s yours. That means you need to be the one to make the decisions.” She glanced briefly at Silver.
“I’ll do what I can, but I’m not too sure how much help I’ll be,” Moonlight offered. “This sort of thing isn’t exactly my specialty. Besides, technically speaking I’m only a part-timer here. I’m still a guard, first and foremost.”
Silver nodded, recalling this little detail. “That means the harem only has two full time members and two part-timers. We really need to be processing applicants more efficiently.”
In full agreement that this task was up to them to face, Thomas and Silver sat next to one another and began hashing out ideas. Moonlight and Talon occasionally made suggestions, but overall let the smallest members of the group make the major decisions, even as it was made clear to most that Silver was leading the conversation.
Thomas couldn’t stop fidgeting with the collar of his jacket as they came to a halt before their destination. The address was set roughly half way between the castle and the outskirts of the city, what most referred to as the middle district. The house was far from quaint. At three stories tall with pristine marble walls, a vast yard bordered by a white picket fence, and an array of very expensive looking statues dotting the landscape, it was clear that whoever lived here was doing well for themselves.
“Stop fidgeting,” Moonlight softly chided as she gently batted his hands away. She wore only a violet vest with Luna’s cutie mark stitched into the shoulder. It was a recent addition to the guard uniform, something for semi-formal occasions when the armor was just too flashy. That said, she still wanted to show off. “There’s no reason to be nervous.”
“Easy for you to say,” Thomas gulped. He’d insisted on something more formal, but Moonlight had assured him that his casual clothes were more than sufficient for what they had planned.
“They’ll like you!” Moonlight said with a hint of exhaustion. She’d lost track of how many times she’d had to tell him this. “Just relax and everything’ll be fine.”
“Relax?” Thomas deadpanned. “I’m a guy meeting my girl’s family for the first time. I don’t think I’m allowed to relax.”
Moonlight puzzled at Thomas’ words. “What exactly are you worried about, anyway?”
“Oh, the usual,” he shrugged. “Me taking their daughter away without their permission.”
“I’m a grown mare,” Moonlight said proudly. “I don’t need anypony’s permission. Besides, you’re the stallion, so technically I’m the one taking you.”
Now it was Thomas’ turn to puzzle. “So you’re dad’s not going to read me the riot act about what he’ll do if I… try something?”
Moonlight just stared back at Thomas before breaking down into guffaws. “I’m sorry,” she gasped, “but what can you even do? You’re,” she gestured at him, “harmless. I’m the one who has to worry about you, remember?”
Thomas chose to ignore the jab at what little pride he still had. “Yeah, but…”
“Also, we’re not humans,” she reminded sternly. “Here, it’s the colt’s dame who’d be reading me the riot act about looking after you.” She bent down and licked his cheek. “A job, if I might boast, I have carried out quite well.”
Thomas wiped his cheek clean and rubbed the remaining wetness on Moonlight’s forearm, causing her to chuckle more. With an affirming nod, Thomas stepped forward and entered the perimeter of Moonlight’s family’s property along the cement path. With Moonlight by his side, he was resolved to face whatever came his way.
Not five steps in and Moonlight came to a sudden halt. Her body tensed as her ears flicked every which way. Thomas also tensed, keeping close to Moonlight as he too tried to survey his surroundings for whatever had spooked her. Aside from the statues, the yard seemed perfectly ordinary. A few trees with browning leaves gave the yard a fair bit of shade, pushes lined the interior of the fence, and a quaint little garden could be seen just poking out from the side of the house. The statues themselves, upon closer inspection, looked incredibly life like. They were all ponies of various ages, tribes, and poses ranging from the simple to the elaborate. The left side of the yard was filled with males while the right was dominated by females. It was there that Thomas caught movement out of the corner of his eye.
Moonlight seemed to catch it as well as she motioned for him to stay behind her while she sidestepped her way towards the front door. “Not this time,” she muttered resolutely, gritting her teeth. Thomas would have asked what she meant, but a soft click caused both their heads to snap towards the door, leaving them temporarily distracted.
It all happened so fast, as if in slow motion. One of the nearest statues, a moderately plump earth mare, chose that moment to stop pretending as she adjusted to a pouncing stance. Thomas tried to cry out, but the mare was too fast. She lunged forward, arms outstretched as her immense shadow quickly overtook Moonlight. Instinctively, Thomas tried to intercept, but felt a hand against his chest as Moonlight held him at bay. As the statue mare’s arms moved to tighten around her prey, Moonlight suddenly ducked. When the statue mare’s arms closed around nothing, she looked down in horror as Moonlight gave a smirk back.
As Moonlight clenched her fist and primed her arm to strike, Thomas could have sworn he heard someone call out “Shoryuken”, just as Moonlight’s arm shot up and made contact with the statue mare’s chin. The statue mare was sent flying high in the air, where upon she fell back to the ground with a thud. She groaned in agony as Moonlight stood back to her full height, cracking her knuckles in, what looked to Thomas, as a show of dominance.
“Good one, sis,” the statue mare grunted.
“Sis!?” Thomas yelled in understandable shock.
“Moony!” Came the happy cheer from the now open door. Standing in the doorway was a tall, plump, older looking earth mare with crimson fur and a bright green mane tied in a bun. She wore a pink, frilly apron with a bright red heart tied in the front as she held her arms out in welcome.
“Lovey!” Moonlight cried out with equal enthusiasm, grabbing hold of Thomas’ wrist with her tail, she dragged him along as she rushed up to the older mare. They collided with a soft thump as the earth mare held tightly onto Moonlight, pulling her into her soft, squishy body.
“It’s been too long,” the mare named Lovey cooed as she nuzzled the top of Moonlight’s head. “You’ve gotten so big, too.”
“Look who’s talking.” Moonlight chuckled as she grabbed a handful of Lovey’s plump middle and gave it a squeeze. The older mare pushed back in surprise, but Moonlight just kept smiling. “You’ve started a new diet, I see,” she said as her eyes ran appraisingly over the mare’s figure. “Only three cakes a day?”
Lovey turned her head in a huff. “I’ll have you know I’m pleasantly plump. It’s all the rage in Vanhoover.”
“Uh huh. Sure.” Moonlight did not sound very convinced as she rolled her eyes.
“It also helps with my clients,” Lovey continued to explain. “They tend to respond much more positively to a mare who reminds them of their dame.” She opened her mouth as if to justify her weight further, but then her eyes fell on the small creature staring nervously at her from behind Moonlight. “And who might this handsome young lad be?”
Thomas smiled, grateful at both the compliment and for being recognized as a guy right away. “Hello, ma’am.” He extended his hand to shake. “My name is Thomas and I-” Alas, Thomas was unable to complete his introduction as his body seemed to be sucked into the gravitational pull of the plump mare’s plump breasts, where upon he was unceremoniously smothered and swung about like a sack of potatoes.
“Eeeeeee!” Lovey squeaked as she held Thomas tightly within the expanse of her cleavage. “You’re him! You’re him! You’re him!”
“Easy, mom!” Moonlight urged as she tried to extract Thomas from his bosomy prison. “I thought I told you not to scare him.”
“Oh pish posh.” Lovey dismissed as she adjusted her grip and pulled Thomas up, causing his head to poke free of her all-encompassing bosom. The fabric of the apron had completely sunken into her crevice, allowing her breasts to swing freely, battering the sides of his head like soft, fuzzy bludgeons.
“How can you show me a colt this cute and expect me not to snuggle him?” Lovey asked, holding her hands out to indicate Thomas, leaving the human to be briefly held in place by the power of … magical pony cleavage? “Just look at him. He’s just so scrawny! How can you justify neglecting a colt this cute?”
Thomas began chuckling at the mare’s words, recalling how Luna had used much less convincing excuses to play with him. While initially fearful, Thomas quickly relaxed once the need for oxygen had been appeased. Being trapped between a mare’s bosom, the softness of her fur, the warmth of her body, and even the steady beating of her pulse all had an oddly calming effect on him. Damn Pavlov.
“It’s, ugh,” he grunted, trying to extract his arms from the bosomy prison, but to no avail. “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“You already said that part, sweetie.” Lovey casually said to the man wedged tightly between her chesticles. “Is there anything else you’d like to say?" She batted her eyelids playfully.
Thomas smiled sheepishly as he was set upon by a sudden case of stage fright. Thankfully, the statue mare groaned again, reminding all that she was still on the ground, still in pain. Thomas in particular looked to Lovey, anxiously awaiting her response.
Lovey grinned at Moonlight. “How’s it feel to get the jump on your older sister for a change?”
“Very nice,” Moonlight sighed in satisfaction. “Hear that, Marble?” she called in triumph. “You’ve ambushed me for the last time.”
“N-nevah!” Marble wheezed as her arm shot up in declaration, only to limply fall back to the ground.
“Is… is someone going to help her?” Thomas asked from his mobile imprisonment.
“Naaaaah,” Lovey dismissed. “She’ll be fine, but it’s nice to see you’re so concerned.”
“Thomas is the sensitive type,” Moonlight explained, her smiling gaze shifting between her love and his captor.
“Alright,” Thomas deadpanned, looking away from the downed mare. If this is normal for these ponies, I guess I’ll just have to roll with it. “Second question. Can I get down now?”
“Oh, pardon me,” Lovey chortled as she bent down until Thomas’ feet touched the ground. Then she stood, allowing Thomas to slide free without any indication of force or leverage. It was like the mare’s massive mammaries had never imprisoned him in the first place. “I suppose that was a little rude of me.”
“Nah,” Thomas waved a dismissive hand. “It’s alright. To be honest, I’m actually used to it.”
“Lovey!” Called a gruff sounding female from inside the house. “With all that racket you’re making, I’m guessing Moonlight’s home?”
“She’s here!” Lovey called back. “And she brought her stallion!”
As Thomas popped the kinks out of his formerly confined joints, he soon became aware of a low rumble in the distance. It sounded faint, but he could soon feel its tremors rumble up his feet and through his body. The more he listened, the more his body shook, the more his mind turned to a particular scene from Jumanji. His heart sank as one word resounded in his mind. Stampede!
Out of the darkness of the doorway, the thrumming rumble came to an abrupt halt as the herd of ponies materialized. Surprisingly, all that ruckus had been made by only two ponies, a unicorn mare and stallion. The stallion had aqua fur with a black mane done up in a spikey anime style. There were age lines around his face that gave him a wizened look. He was well built with a somewhat short horn and a sun poking over clouds as his cutie mark. His smile was warm and inviting.
Beside him stood a mare with milky white fur and a black streak running through her blue mane. Her age lines were much more pronounced, making her look roughly twenty years older than the stallion. There were scars in various places across her body, which was toned and muscled enough to look like a professional athlete’s. Her horn looked much taller than average and upon her hip was a silver arrow shooting through a spiral of mist. The grizzled mare had a look about her that made Thomas absolutely certain he didn’t want to get on her bad side.
“Mom!” Moonlight cheered as she threw her arms over the grizzled mare and pulled her into a hug.
The grizzled mare’s expression instantly softened as she affectionately patted Moonlight’s back.
The embrace was short as Moonlight quickly extracted herself and made for the stallion. “Dad!”
“Moony!” The stallion cheered as he returned the embrace, leaning back and pulling Moonlight with him in the powerful hug. “Ugh, my filly’s gotten so big,” he grunted as he set her back down. “I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be able to do that.”
“Then I guess I’ll have to,” Moonlight offered as she took her turn to lean back, lifting the stallion off his hooves before setting him back down with a grunt.
“I see you’ve gotten a lot stronger since last time,” the grizzled mare said approvingly, her voice just as gruff as she looked. She grabbed hold of Moonlight’s bicep and gave it a testing squeeze. “Glad to see you haven’t been slacking.”
“As if I have time to slack,” Moonlight laughed tiredly. “I spend half the night exhausting myself.” These words earned a round of chuckles from the mare’s parents.
“I can imagine,” the stallion laughed as he heartily patted Moonlight’s back. Lovey cleared her throat, drawing all eyes to her just as she motioned down at the human beside her, causing him to freeze like a deer caught in headlights. “And this must be Thomas.”
Despite the stallion’s warm expression, Thomas had completely forgotten Moonlight’s assurances regarding Equestria’s differences and took a step back, ready to flee if need be. Alas, the poor man was too slow as the stallion scooped him up into a tight bear hug. The near bone crushing embrace was short lived as the stallion hooked an arm under Thomas’ rear, holding him up as one would a child.
“Aww! Well aren’t you just the cutest thing ever,” he cooed, nuzzling the top of Thomas’ head. A playful eye turned on the grizzled mare. “See, Misty. I told you she went for the coltish type.”
The grizzled mare, whose name was apparently Misty, rolled her eyes. “Sure, sure,” she shook her head dismissively as she noticed Thomas’ confused expression. “Fair warning. Never herd with a prostitute. You’ll get no end of grief from their so-called expertise.”
“A little late for that, Misty,” Lovey said with a half smirk as her eyes darted between Thomas and Moonlight. “Looks like we’re destined to be a family of whorses.”
Thomas cleared his throat and motioned for the stallion to set him down. From there he bodily faced Misty. Moonlight had spoken little of her family, but he knew Misty Arrow was the lead mare, the head of the household. With all he’d learned about the hierarchy of the family, there was no doubt that he needed to pay his respects as quickly as possible. He stepped forward and offered his hand. Misty reached out to do the same, but Thomas turned the tables on her and gently gripped the bottom of her wrist. With a flourish he bowed down and kissed the mare’s knuckles. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Misty made a strangely wanting groan, which earned soft chuckles from the others. At Thomas’ shiver from an especially chilly breeze, Moonlight pointed out her human’s lack of fur and herded the rest of her family inside. When Marble gave out another attention garnering moan, Moonlight lit her horn and magically dragged the mare inside by her tail. Once inside, the family quickly arranged themselves in a living area. The three parents, Morning, Misty, and Lovey took an especially large sofa while Marble turned a wooden chair around for her seat. Moonlight was shown to a more moderately sized couch where there was plenty of room for Thomas beside her.
The house smelled pleasantly like lilacs. Following his initial assumptions, Moonlight’s family was very well off if their furniture was even half as expensive as it looked. There were family portraits along the walls, fancy tables holding fancier vases, and all the other odds and ends one would expect to find in a rich person’s home.
Thomas was finally given proper introductions to the family. Marble Craft was Moonlight’s older sister, but born to Lovey Dovey. Marble was a freelance artist while Lovey worked as a therapist. Moonlight’s birth mother, or dame as they were called, was Misty Arrow, the grizzled mare and Lieutenant in the Equestrian army. Morning Glow, former concubine to Princess Celestia and current freelance prostitute, was the herd stallion. There were two more members of the household currently out working: Gold Gourmet the professional cook, and Jazz Note the trumpet player. The rest of Moonlight’s siblings had long moved out to pursue their own lives across Equestria, leaving only Marble who came off as a bit of a slacker, despite the effort she put into her sculptures.
“Moony’s told us a lot about you in her letters, Mr. Thomas.” Misty stated formally.
“I deny anything that makes me sound bad,” Thomas deadpanned, earning chuckles from all but Misty.
“For the longest time it was all my Morning could do to not write back and spell it out for you,” Misty said to Moonlight, causing the mare to rub the back of her head in guilt. “Your feelings were just that obvious.”
“Seriously, sis,” Marble spoke up. “You’re, like, one of the thickest mares I know, and that’s saying something.” She pointed a thumb at Lovey.
“Keep talking, sweetie,” Lovey said with a chipper smile. “There’s no limit for how deep you can dig your own grave.”
Thomas glanced between the surrounding ponies, congratulating himself on how he noted the way they were all averting their gazes or making other expressions of annoyance. This fight sounded well practiced, like the mares did it on a regular basis, and Thomas was proud of himself for properly reading their body language.
“And now you’re a concubine, too,” Morning interjected, cutting off the bickering pair before they could get too far. “Gotta say none of us really saw that coming.”
“Seems you’re following in both our hoof steps,” Misty commented idly. “Mine as a proud and dedicated soldier, and your sire’s as a walking tool of pleasure for royalty, and mine again for herding with the first cute stallion to give you a good rut.”
Moonlight blushed at her mother’s analysis.
“Ease up, Misty,” Lovey chided gently. “You’re scaring the little guy.” She waved at Thomas.
“He should be afraid,” Marble scoffed. “After what I heard last night, we should all be terrified.”
“One more word out of you, young lady, and I swear I’ll draw mustaches on all those sculptures you refuse to sell!” Lovey’s voice boomed as she waved her finger threateningly. Marble looked ready to protest, but one look from her mother and she sunk down low in her chair. That seemed to be the end of that, at least for the moment.
“So, Thomas.” Moonlight spoke up before anyone else. “What do you think of my family so far?”
Thomas briefly glanced at the ponies across the room before meeting Moonlight’s gaze. He’d have preferred to answer such a question in private, but Moonlight’s tone suggested she wanted him to rebuke them for their misbehavior. Ultimately, he decided honesty was the best course. “They’re a colorful bunch, that’s for sure. I can tell you must have had a lot of fun growing up with a family like this.”
Moonlight just blinked in surprise.
“Aww,” Lovey cooed. “Isn’t that sweet.”
“I trust concubine life is sitting well with the both of you?” Morning inquired.
“I’m still a guard, first and foremost,” Moonlight clarified. “But I’m happy to be there for both my charge and my Princess.”
“I’ll bet,” Morning smirked knowingly as his eyes turned to Thomas. “And you?”
“It’s been a challenge at times,” Thomas admitted. “Picking up on pony customs and body language has been pretty hard, but, thanks to a certain orange mare, I think I’m finally starting to get things.”
“Why aren’t you naked?” Marble asked bluntly. “Moony’s tried writing, but I never really got it. You don’t have fur, so I guess it makes sense to wear seasonal stuff, but why aren’t you naked indoors?”
Lovey leaned over the arm of the couch and whacked Marble upside the head. “Don’t be rude. It’s a custom from his homeland.”
“I’m just asking!” Marble protested. “How’m I supposed to know what’s rude or not if I don’t ask?”
“Its fine,” Thomas assured. This seemed to calm everyone down as all looked upon him with curious eyes. Clearly Marble wasn’t the only one who wanted to know. “Basically, after using clothes to protect ourselves from the elements for so many centuries, it’s kind of embedded itself in our culture that being without clothes is, well, rude. There’s this mindset that the only reason to be naked is either for bathing or… intimate stuff,” he finished with a murmur.
“Ah,” Marble said in understanding. “Now I get it.”
“But ponies go around naked almost all the time,” Morning pointed out. “You don’t have a problem with that?”
“Less than I used to,” Thomas admitted. “I think I’m largely desensitized to it now, but it’s just more comfortable for me to wear clothes, especially in front of strangers.”
Misty leaned forward, parting her legs as she rested her elbows on her knees. “So then, Sir Thomas. I trust our little Moony has been treating you right?”
Thomas set a possessive hand on Moonlight’s leg. “She’s been nothing but wonderful. The way she looks out for me, how she’s there for me when I need her, I think I must be the luckiest guy in the world.”
There was no sound as all eyes fell on Misty, awaiting her verdict. With an audible sigh, the mare leaned back in the couch and crossed her legs, staring at a spot on the ceiling. “Alicorns preserve us, he’s a romantic,” she grumbled.
While initially confused by the mare’s words, Thomas looked up to find Moonlight beaming excitedly. Her expression was shared by the other ponies. Apparently this was good news.
“I’ll go finish preparing lunch,” Lovey announced as she stood and departed.
“So, if no pony’s got the nerve to ask, it might as well be me,” Misty said resolutely. “How exactly does a little shrimp like you manage to satisfy a big gal like Princess Luna?”
Thomas felt his cheeks warm just a bit. “I… ahem, don’t -”
“Mom!” Moonlight whined.
“What? I thought we established there was nothing wrong with a little honest curiosity?” Before Moonlight could protest further, Misty cut her off. “Besides, you weren’t the only ones your father told bedtime stories too,” she said with a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows. “At the moment, I’m pretty sure I know more about concubine life than you do.”
Moonlight opened her mouth once more, but this time was cut off by Thomas. “Lots of herbs and magical stimulants,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Also, besides having an exotic body, I… know things.” This seemed to catch everyone’s attention.
“Things?” Morning leaned forward.
“What sort of things?” Misty asked from her spot on the couch.
Thomas looked to Moonlight, wordlessly asking her permission. She nodded and Thomas did something he never expected to do: describe his sex life to his sorta-wife’s polyamorous parents, with his sorta-wife’s assistance.
“So it’s you!” Morning exclaimed. “My old concubine buddies were spreading the word about all these new sexual positions, but they were being pretty tight lipped about where the ideas really came from. But all this time it was you!?”
“I regret nothing,” Thomas declared flatly.
“First Halloween, now you’re bringing us human sexual practices,” Misty said with a smirk. “What’s next?”
“We’ve got a patent on a new human game,” Moonlight answered. “It should be ready for sales just in time for the Hearth’s Warming rush.”
“Well damn,” Morning chuckled as he draped an arm over Misty. “At this rate, it’s going to be the stallion who wears the horseshoes in your house, Moony.”
“You think so?” Moonlight asked curiously.
Thomas chuckled, inferring what was being implied. “I still rely on her for a lot of stuff, so I guess you’d say it’s more even.”
“Come and get it!” Lovey called.
At her announcement, everyone filed out of the living room and made for the dining room table. Thomas’ chair was given a few extra cushions, sparing him the humiliation of a high chair or having to sit in somepony’s lap. Light conversation continued regarding what were considered mundane matters.
“And Tali’s been really great to both of us,” Moonlight explained. “She really helped Thomas come out of his shell, not to mention helping me work up the nerve to finally admit how I felt.”
“Glad to hear the old bird hasn’t changed,” Morning commented as he took a bit of his salad. “Always looking out for the newbies, that one.”
“But I thought you still kept in touch with Celestia’s harem?” Thomas inquired.
“Most of ‘em, yes, but Tali and I sorta drifted apart after I left,” Morning said despondently. “We still write sometimes, but it’s just not the same.”
“Agreed,” Lovey said with a nod. “She was one of the few people in Canterlot who could actually out-drink Misty.”
“Anyway, you said in a letter how you and Princess Celestia started spending time together?” Misty asked.
Thomas briefly choked on his food. After Moonlight helped him, he surveyed the room for any signs of tension. He recalled the story of how he’d heard that Morning had insisted that his children spend as little time with Celestia as possible, lest they become as spoiled as Blueblood, or something like that. Thomas’ eyes darted between Morning and Moonlight, fearful of how they might react.
“That’s right. I was meaning to ask about that,” Morning said, his tone as carefree as could be. “How’s the old filly doing these days?”
Thomas and Moonlight exchanged puzzled looks. Apparently this was not the reaction either of them had expected.
“Uh, Dad,” Moonlight began cautiously.
“Yes, Moony?” he asked, keeping his happy grin.
“You’re, well, reacting a lot different than I was expecting.”
“How so?”
“Well… Aren’t you… just a little…”
Seeing his fillyfriend flounder like that, Thomas had no choice but to step in. “We heard somethings about why Moonlight wasn’t allowed to hang out with Celestia when she was little.” This statement just seemed to breed more confusion, so he pressed on. “We heard that Blueblood was a spoiled prick and you didn’t want Moonlight turning out like him.”
“Damn right we didn’t,” Misty replied. “That little punk just refused to behave himself, even around impressionable little foals. I don’t care how important his work is; that sort of behavior is just unacceptable in public. We all agreed that it would be best to keep all of you as far away from him as possible.”
“Okay, you’ve lost me,” Thomas confessed. “So it was Blueblood you were keeping Moonlight from, not Celestia?”
“Well, he was always by her side in those days, learning the skills to be a good Prince,” Lovey explained. “I suppose that’s just how things turned out.”
“Good Prince?” Moonlight asked in disbelief. “How can you say that? He’s… he’s a villain, a walking scandal machine.” This earned a round of polite agreements from the adults, much to Moonlight’s growing frustration.
“It’s an unusual talent, but you can’t deny the colt knows what he’s doing,” Lovey commented good-naturedly. “It really suits him.”
Thomas shook his head, rubbing his growing headache. “I’m still lost, here. What’s Blueblood’s talent?” Besides being a royal pain in the ass.
“You said it best, Moony,” Morning said with a tired sigh. “He’s a walking scandal machine, the crown’s semi-official fall guy. Whenever there’s something going on that the crown doesn’t want the masses looking into, you can always trust Blueblood to turn up with something to keep the papers busy.”
Thomas and Moonlight just exchanged another puzzled look.
“Like that thing a few months ago when his harem all left him,” Morning continued. “Wasn’t that around the time a certain hairless ape turned up in the castle without explanation?”
Thomas pulled back, mouth agape at the stallion’s implication.
“But… but he barged right into Luna’s room and demanded she hand over Thomas, all because of some insult that was his fault to begin with,” Moonlight explained in exasperation.
“You were there?” Misty asked.
“Yes.”
“And I assume you did your duty and protected your stallion.”
“He wasn’t really my stallion at the time,” Moonlight blushed, “but yes. I did my duty as his guard while the other applicants just stood there looking stupid.”
“Did they now?” Misty asked leadingly.
It was Moonlight’s turn to gawk at the implication. “They… did nothing… absolutely nothing.”
Misty nodded. “And what happened to them after that?”
“We… never saw them again.”
“Good riddance,” Morning held up his cup in cheers. “A harem is supposed to be like a herd. We’re the Princess’ family, and a family that doesn’t look after its own doesn’t deserve to be called such.”
“Same for a mare who won’t even defend her stallion,” Misty added.
Thomas slumped back in his chair, staring down at his food as he processed this new information. “So… that was a test?”
“No shortage of tests in the harem system, little guy,” Misty sighed. “Especially in that first year. I swear, tests must be Celestia’s secret fetish or something for the things your father had to go through.”
“Me?” Morning asked. “Remember what she put you through? I swear, all the hoops that mare made you jump through, I’m surprised rings don’t trigger some sort of trauma.”
“You think that was bad?” Misty asked. “Celestia was just being an overprotective dame, looking out for her foals. Your actual dame,” she kept her grin while shuddering. “Now that mare was scary.”
“She was,” Lovey whispered, nodding at her foals and son-in-law. “There’s a reason I always had errands to run whenever your grand dame came over to visit.”
“Anyway, I’m sorry things turned out like they did,” Morning apologized. “Celestia and I had started to grow apart and we agreed it was time for me to go. Between no longer living at the castle, you getting your cutie mark, not to mention trying to work around Blueblood, things just sort of… happened.”
“Oh,” Moonlight realized. “I forgot I’d gotten my cutie mark around that time. I started my special training after that and then… I guess I sort of forgot.”
“We were all a little at fault,” Lovey added. “I remember one time Marble asked me when we’d be going to the castle to see dear Auntie Celestia again, and that was about the time Misty here,” she gestured with her head, “decided to vent some concerns she’d been having about the new military budget. She stopped asking after that.”
“Wasn’t my fault,” Marble denied. “I know better than to get mom worked up like that. Unlike dad, I never considered an angry mare trying to kill me much of a turn on.”
“Misty?” Lovey asked evenly as she held her hand out in front of her. “If you please.”
“Of course,” Misty responded in equal calm as her horn lit and a bar of soap was levitated into the earth mare’s hand. “Will you need anything else?”
“This is more than enough. Thank you,” Lovely kindly nodded at her herdmate before snapping a venomous glare onto her daughter. Marble, who had been distracted while eating, did not notice until it was too late. Lovey then pounced on her daughter, knocking her out of the seat as the younger mare tried in vain to crawl away, all while her mother used her superior strength to climb up Marble’s body until she pulled the smaller mare into a choke hold.
“You like being a smartass so much?” Lovey growled as she held the soap at the ready. “Let’s see how you like this.”
And Thomas was bestowed with very confused feelings as he watched the naked mother and daughter writhe around on the ground, making the sort of grunts and groans mother and daughter really shouldn’t be making together. All this, and “A Christmas Story” flashbacks left him uncertain how he should feel.
Lunch was allowed to continue in relative peace. Although, given what had happened, a car crash might have been more peaceful, not to mention causing less head trauma.
“Please tell me it’s not like that all the time,” Thomas pleaded on the carriage ride back to the castle.
“Oh, don’t be absurd,” Moonlight assured as Thomas sighed in relief. “They’re not normally so behaved.”
As with the days leading up to Nightmare Night, the castle was abuzz with activity as decorators worked to decorate surfaces with ornamentation specific to the Hearth’s Warming holiday. Wreaths and ribbons hung from the ceiling and walls, decorated trees seemed to mark every corner and intersection of the halls, some of the servants had traded out their usual uniforms for those tinted with holiday colors, and the gently falling snow outside completed the festive atmosphere.
Thomas let out a contented sigh as he sat back in Moonlight’s lap while Silver cozied up to the mare’s other side. The unicorn removed her armor for mutual comfort, leaving the three of them in only their concubine uniforms before the fireplace. “This is nice,” Thomas said tiredly as he snuggled against his mare.
Moonlight adjusted her position against the bed as she stared into the crackling flames. “Sitting by the hearth, surrounded by loved ones,” she murmured in a low volume voice before issuing a sigh of contentment of her own. “This is what Hearth’s Warming is all about.”
“Still can’t get over the ‘new’ fireplace,” Thomas indicated with a chuckle. It was a feature of the castle that most of the rooms containing fireplaces employed a magical spell which made them vanish from the room, popping in only as needed so as not to waste space during the warmer times. It was an architectural design from back in the days before more advanced heating lamps, but Celestia had kept it unchanged for its homely feeling, especially this time of year. “Magic is awesome.”
“Celestia keeps her office’s hearth active year round, for ‘convenience,’” Silver said with air quotes.
“What do you mean?” Moonlight asked.
“According to Sun Dancer, it’s for those times when she’s just too lazy to ignite her messages to her protégé with her own magic, so she just tosses them in the flame,” the bat explained as she made a tossing gesture. Moonlight tilted her head as she snaked an arm over the other mare’s belly, pulling her close. “Couldn’t she just use a candle or something?”
“I asked the same thing,” Silver laughed tiredly. “She said she burned her fingers trying that once and has been hesitant ever since.” Her explanation was met with a round of soft chuckles from the others before they fell back into silence.
“So,” Thomas began. “Isn’t this around the time when most people do their Christmas shopping?”
“Christmas?” Silver asked. “I recall you mentioning that was something similar to Hearth’s Warming.”
“Thematically it’s basically identical,” Thomas explained. “Whole different origins and history, but the look and feel of it pretty much the same.”
“I remember,” Moonlight hummed. “But you’re right. Now is about the time most ponies are migrating to the stores. Were you thinking of joining them?”
“Be nice to have something,” Thomas retorted. “How does that work with the harem exactly? Do we draw lots, get something for everyone in the harem, or what?”
“Good question,” Silver said as she sat up. “We should really ask.”
The trio met up with Talon who filled them in. It was important for the harem’s alicorn to get something from the harem, either by the concubines pooling their money or each getting their own thing. Said alicorn would then give the concubines something, which would usually be followed up with an orgy. At least, that’s how it typically worked in Celestia’s harem. Other than that, the harem was free to do whatever they liked regarding each other. Talon then suggested they go out for a night on the town, leaving Silver to hold down the fort. The night air had a heavy chill with the recent snows, so Thomas threw on a warmer set of clothes, Moonlight donned her armor, and they headed off into Canterlot.
“Come on, chimp,” Talon called from ahead as she pulled the hapless human by the arm down the street. Despite the tiring ordeal of satisfying an agitated alicorn in so many experimental positions, the griffon was bursting with an energy that left her companions a bit envious. “The night’s still young and this griffon wants to get her Hearth’s Warming shop on.”
“Do we really need to rush, though?” Thomas asked as he struggled to keep pace with the griffon. “I don’t think the stores are going anywhere.”
“The sooner we get where we’re going, the sooner we can get back and rest.” Talon offered no further explanation as she set her sights on their next destination.
Moonlight, who had been keeping a steady pace beside Thomas, rolled her eyes at the griffon’s antics. However, that did not stop her from keeping her eyes on the surrounding pedestrians. Most paid their odd group no more than a quick, unconcerned glance. However, more than once she caught wind of words like ‘thing’ and ‘animal’ directed towards her group. Just as often she caught other ponies staring, some with surprise and curiosity, others with admiring smiles, and a few mentions of ‘Halloween’. Thankfully she managed to ward them all off with her best intimidating-guard look before her friends took notice of the city’s trash making itself known. They backed down and all went their merry way. If somepony starts something, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop Tali before she knocks some heads around, she thought in amusement.
The trio proceeded to explore the streets of Canterlot with the enthusiasm and thoroughness of an archeologist who had just discovered some long lost temple, or something deep like that. Thomas was being run too ragged to come up with anything better. Unlike their previous outings, though, the griffon seemed to be actively working to make sure the human was in her sights at all times, not unlike how Moonlight usually did. This was in addition to her more frequent displays of physical affection.
“Not that I necessarily mind, but did my personal bubble pop without my knowing?” Thomas asked as Talon came up from behind and draped her arms over him, nuzzling into the back of his neck.
“You’d better not mind. I’m doing this for you, ya know.”
“Really? For a moment I thought you were molesting me to make Moonlight happy.”
“Why must you insist on bringing me into this?” The unicorn asked as she kept pace with them.
“Quit acting like you don’t love it, smarty-corn,” Talon teased as she pulled Thomas close against her bare chest and planted a quick peck on his cheek.
With Talon still draped over his back, he awkwardly led the way down the sidewalk as passersby gave them quizzical looks, but most of those looks quickly averted when they saw Moonlight. The streets were lovely tonight, but the human couldn’t help but feel that Luna might not have given it her all with how few stars there were behind the winter clouds. It was disappointing, but he understood that even someone as amazing as Luna would need to take breaks in order to recharge her batteries.
“Besides, the little guy’s still got an aversion to public displays of affection,” Talon explained, gesturing to a nearby stallion who was trying not to smile. All the while she was making herself into just enough of a nuisance so that Thomas had trouble walking, but wasn’t entirely encumbered. Truly it was an art. “Steel Hoof says this was something he had to learn after leaving the Minotaur Kingdom. His people tend to be more solitary, so he had to adjust to how ‘touchy-feely’ pony society was.”
“You have to deal with that when you moved here?” Thomas asked, ignoring the stares his lion-skin cape was earning.
“Not really. Griffons are pretty physical too, but we’re not as gentle.” She leaned forward until her beak was level with Thomas’ ear. “I think you’d have hated it back in the Griffon Kingdom.”
Thomas couldn’t quite place Talon’s tone, but something about it bothered him. It sounded a bit hurt, but not quite convincingly so. Then he realized what she was saying. “Would I weigh as much over there as I do right now?” He jumped a bit, jostling the griffon around him for emphasis.
“Probably more,” Talon smirked. “I’m actually pretty petite as far as griffons go. Most of our females would just fall on you and let you squirm beneath their bodies.”
“So basically not that different from my life right now?” Thomas smirked.
“Maybe a bit more biting,” Talon said, nibbling at his ear playfully.
“So where exactly are we going again?” Moonlight asked in annoyance. “We’re still on the rich side of the shopping district and I don’t think I see anything that either of you would like.” She leered at the griffon still making a pest of herself. “It would be a lot easier if you’d just tell us what you were looking for.”
“Hmm. She may have a point.” Thomas admitted, causing Moonlight to beam proudly. “You think if I worked my lower body muscles enough, I could swing Tali around and use her feet like whips? Maybe we can clear the way faster?”
“A more noble aspiration I have never encountered,” Talon awed at Thomas’ suggestion before they both descended into chuckles, while Moonlight rolled her eyes at the distraction. “Nice to see you coming along so well, chimp. I’m proud of ya.”
“As am I,” Moonlight nodded. Silliness aside, she really was happy for him. “You’ve become much more outgoing these last few weeks. I’m almost tempted to say that soon you might be able to go outside on your own.”
Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Only almost?”
“It would be a fool mare to present an argument against her own job. Especially one she enjoyed so much,” she giggled.
It was true, though, as the human considered it. Compared to how he had been, Thomas had really come out of his shell. It may have only been because he had learned to draw strength from those around him, but wasn’t that what friends were supposed to do? In a way Talon was like the big sister he’d never had, or more accurately the big sister he’d read about in hentai manga, looking out for him but never missing a chance to embarrass him with her sexuality. Moonlight, on the other hand, was like his rock, someone he could always rely upon to make things better. And Luna… she was his lead mare in every sense of the word. She’d been there since the beginning, helping him to open up in ways he’d never imagined he could; and the walking talking argument against his original resignation to die alone, but that stuff didn’t matter anymore. It was a bit trickier to place his exact feelings on Silver, but suffice to say her company was treasured. He cared for them all and it warmed his heart to know they cared for him right back. The sex wasn’t bad either.
“How about some jewelry?” Thomas suggested, pointing out a store called Ornate’s Ornates. “Girls like jewelry, right?”
“No harm in looking, I guess.” Talon’s tone betrayed her uncertainty. “If they have something real nice, maybe, but ‘Leste was never much for shiny rocks.”
“Fair enough,” Moonlight remarked. “So what is she for?”
Talon shot the mare a half smirk. “Still not certain what to get yours, huh? Well, don’t get too worked up about it. ‘Leste always likes it when we make stuff. Ya know how students might like a teacher a lot so they make a banner to show their appreciation?”
Not in my reality, but go on, Thomas thought as he nodded.
“She goes absolutely gaga for that kind of stuff. It appeals to her inner teacher to see her ‘pupils’ show how much they care,” Talon explained with a lascivious grin. “As for you guys, well, you know your alicorn best. What’s something you could make for her, besides getting a cooler modeled after the chimp?”
“Hardy har har,” Thomas retorted in annoyance. Though Talon’s words did leave him with something to work with. As he thought, he recalled that there was something Luna’s harem had already made together. “We could check on how well Twister’s doing, and see if it really will be ready for the holiday rush?”
“That’s not a bad idea,” Moonlight beamed. “We can go to the store in a little bit, but, since we’re here, I’d really like to see their jewelry selection first.”
Thomas smiled at the mare as the griffon got off him. “Sure thing.” They crossed the street as they headed in the direction of the jewelry store.
However, the group was stopped from entering by one of the greeters, a white unicorn with a spiffy dress shirt and nothing else, held out his hand to stop them. “Begging your pardon, ma’am,” he said to Talon in a posh nasally tone. “But I’m afraid that our fine establishment does not allow pets inside.”
“Pet?” Talon asked with a cocked eyebrow. “You seriously just call him a pet?”
“Animal companion, if you prefer, ma’am,” the greeter replied. “But fear not. I shall wait out here and hold his… where’s his leash?” he asked with a growing panic.
“What?” Thomas asked with a mix of amusement and offense. “You afraid I’m gonna jump you or something?”
The greeter flinched back. “It… talks?”
“Afraid not,” Thomas shook his head. “The stress is getting to you and you’ve finally cracked.”
Talon held out her claw and Thomas dutifully gave her a high-five. “Nice one,” she whispered.
“Good sir,” Moonlight cut in. “I’ll have you know you have the distinct privilege of meeting Princess Luna’s Senior Concubine, Sir Thomas,” she said with an attitude of formal seriousness. “It would behoove you well to pay him the courtesy his position is owed.”
Blinking rapidly, the greeter eyes scanned the group until they landed on Talon’s loincloth. That seemed enough for him to make up his mind and welcome them in. “By all means, Mr. Senior Concubine, please allow me to apologize for my terrible impropriety. These old eyes, you know,” he laughed nervously. “Perhaps I might interest you in our special discount for the Crowns and those employed in their service?”
“A discount?” Talon asked in faux offense. “You aren’t trying to bribe us into forgetting the insult you’ve inflicted, are you?”
“Would that work?” The greeter responded obsequiously.
Talon folded her arms over her chest and gave her smuggest smile. “Depends on how much you’re offering.”
The stallion rolled his eyes, mentally chastising himself for digging himself into this hole. “Our fine establishment offers a number of tantalizing discounts for its valued customers. Those in most direct service to the Princesses, castle staff and the like, are offered quite the deal on their purchases. Of course,” he indicated Moonlight, “Ornates’ Ornates offers an additional deal to those willing to lay down their lives for the crown. For concubines, however…” he trailed off. “I think I’ll have to talk to my manager, but I think she’d agree that such a prestigious position deserves a very special discount all its own.”
The groveling is strong with this one, Thomas thought.
Talon bobbed her head from side to side, thinking it over. “Weeeeell, maybe. We’ll see.”
“Thank you, my lady.” The greeter bowed and rushed off into the store.
“I’m all for discounts,” Thomas said, “but doesn’t this feel a little like extortion to you?”
Talon looked down at the human with a cocked eyebrow. “And your point is…?”
“Nothing, apparently,” Thomas chuckled quietly. “Just hoping that this abuse of power isn’t the beginning of a slippery slope into full jerkdom.”
“If that’s your concern, then you’re probably safe,” Moonlight replied.
Soon enough the greeter returned and affirmed that the store owner agreed to the deal.
Upon entering Ornate’s Ornates, Moonlight immediately stepped out in front of the group to survey the store. Conversations petered out as the customers watched her suspiciously, as a guard in a place like this was not something they were used to seeing. Many ears perked in anticipation, obviously expecting the Princesses or someone else of great import, but to their eyes, the only ones to enter were a griffon and a foal they didn’t recognize, so all returned to their previous business.
Ornate’s Ornates was a store befitting the expensive tastes of rich ponies. It was set up like most jewelry stores Thomas had seen. Glass counters were set up around the outskirts and two more displays stood out in the middle of the marble floor. The walls were painted a muted yellow with magical lamps set up at regular intervals along the wall. Thomas was grateful that they’d elected to enter at night, lest they be blinded when the rays of the sun reflected off the various jewels and metals. The numerous items on display could very well be mistaken for priceless artifacts, if it weren’t for the price tags on equally prominent display.
A quick scan by the frugal human revealed the cheapest item to be a pair of emerald earrings for 400 bits. Thomas glowered at the earrings, condemning them for existing at such a price.
“Find something you like?” Talon asked teasingly as she pressed her breasts to his back while her claws gripped his shoulders. She looked to the earrings and then poked a claw at Thomas’ earlobe. “Hmm. Doesn’t look like you’re pierced.”
“And I’m gonna stay that way, thank you very much,” Thomas replied sternly. “It’s just, look at the price. That’s just ridiculous.”
“Meh,” Talon shrugged. “Personally, I’m starting to warm up to the idea of some collars, gem encrusted an all fancy looking.”
“You can’t be serious,” Thomas deadpanned.
“She looks serious to me,” Moonlight noted with a hint of dread.
“That’s ‘cause I am,” Talon beamed. “Ya know, I heard that unicorns used to put their stallions in collars so everyone’d know who they belonged to. Maybe a certain alicorn might appreciate the gesture?”
Damn bird, Thomas thought as he glared at the wren. Why you gotta go and make a good point like that?
“The custom was hardly that widespread,” said a mare behind the counter. She was a young pink unicorn with a dark yellow mane and tail. Her attire consisted of two bronze bracelets on both wrists and an orange unbuttoned blouse with her name tag on it, leaving the bracelets on her flanks bare for all to see. The tag read Bright Bracelet. “It was the ponies who settled southern Equestria who were the last to practice collaring as a serious custom. Although I hear it’s making a bit of a comeback in some circles.
“But I’m sure you’re not here for a history lesson,” Bright continued. “Was there anything you were interested in, besides collars?”
Talon beamed an evil grin and snatched Thomas up before he could run.
Some time later…
“Well aren’t you just the little charmer,” Bright Bracelet gushed as she finished setting Thomas with his new attire.
“She’s not wrong,” Talon commented while nodding her approval. “The green really does bring out your eyes.”
Thomas had been extracted from the warmer fabrics for the purpose of fitting the various accessories, leaving him only in his uniform as he was subjected to the griffon’s sudden urge to play dress up. He hadn’t stopped fiddling with the chain since it’d been set around his neck. The thing was unusually heavy, but had the most intriguing texture which felt odd against his fingertips. It was encrusted with complimenting rubies and emeralds, which gave it a pleasantly Christmas look. Further, Bright Bracelet had spent some time adjusting the silver arm bands on his wrists until she was satisfied they were perfectly symmetrical to match the gold shoulder covers.
“So?” Bright Bracelet asked eagerly as she held up a mirror in front of her perky pink breasts. “What do you think?”
Thomas couldn’t help but smile as he tried to keep his focus on the reflection and not the excited nipples to either side. I look like a freaking pimp! He mused. From prostitute to pimp. I guess that makes me a social climber. He thought as he turned his attention to the shoulder covers. “Not bad, but I don’t really get what these are for. Is there supposed to be a cape that goes with it or something?”
“The cape is an optional attachment, yes.” Bright Bracelet nodded. “I can go get a few samples if you’d like. What’s your favorite color?”
“No thanks,” Thomas held up his hand. “I feel silly enough as is.”
“Silly?” Bright Bracelet queried in surprise. “You look just like my uncle Brilliant Broche when he last attended the Gala.”
“Yeah, but don’t you think it’s all a bit… gaudy?” Thomas asked gently, hoping to put an end to this as quickly as possible.
“Hmm,” Bright Bracelet puzzled as she set the mirror aside and eyed him over. “It’s symmetrical, but now that I look at it, it does seem a bit off balance. Perhaps you’re too top heavy.”
“I feel top heavy,” Thomas agreed as he rolled the ache out of his shoulders.
Talon set her claw on his shoulder and nodded sympathetically. “Such is the burden of all fair maidens. Trust me. You’ll get used to it.”
“You’re one to talk,” Thomas mumbled as he removed the chain and shoulder covers. “I’m not a pony, and all this stuff is just way too heavy for me. If I walk around for an hour like this I’ll either get a workout or a lifetime of back problems. Besides, this is all way too flashy for me.”
“I see,” Bright Bracelet nodded. “Hmm. Perhaps if we spread them out more and find something more subtle,” she mumbled as she searched through the glass cases.
“What about this?” Moonlight offered. The others gathered around to find her pointing at a gold ring. “My father has one of those he likes to wear for special occasions.”
“Now there’s an idea.” Bright Bracelet said excitedly as she hurried around the counter to open it from the back and retrieved the ring, showing it to her potential customers. “And it fits perfectly with your, ahem, position.” She beamed.
“You got anything smaller?” Talon asked. “Cause I don’t think that’ll stay on.”
“Yeah.” Thomas agreed as he inspected the ring up close and held up his hand for comparison. “There’s no way that’ll fit on my finger.” This was met with subdued snickers from the surrounding females. “What?”
“Sorry. Sorry.” Moonlight was the first to compose herself. “It’s, well, it’s not for your finger.”
“Then… what’s it for?” Thomas asked warily as he saw Moonlight’s cheeks tint with pink.
“If you would please disrobe?” Bright Bracelet asked. “I’ll need to check your size.”
“Disrobe?” Thomas asked flatly. Checking and double checking, he confirmed he was indeed wearing nothing but the arm bands and his loincloth. We were just saying the ring was too big, but there’s no way that thing’s big enough to go around my wrists. So where’s it supposed… to… oh no.
“It’s a bangle that goes around your balls, silly.” Bright Bracelet explained like it was obvious. “It’s an ancient fertility symbol for stallions. The bangle says,” she deepened her voice in imitation of a male’s, “look at me and my shiny foal planter.” She giggled, returning to her regular voice. “Like I said, ancient, but it’s still holds appeal to this day. Though, if you don’t like the bangle, we also have a band for your penis. However, I wouldn’t recommend both. One is a sign of virility. Two just looks desperate.” She said in disapproval.
“My father said the same thing,” Moonlight agreed. “He preferred the bangle though.”
Thomas’ brain finally switched back on as he looked up at Moonlight in shock. “You watched your dad put a ring around his balls?”
“I don’t think I ever watched him put it on,” Moonlight shrugged casually, uncertain what was upsetting Thomas so. “He just put it on for special occasions, like fancy parties. Although,” she chuckled, “I do remember this one time my brother snuck into father’s drawer and tried it on.” She continued snickering. “He couldn’t figure out how to get it off before one of my moms caught him. He was in soooo much trouble.”
“Bangle or dick band, I still need to measure you and I can’t do it with that in the way.” Bright Bracelet said sternly, gesturing down to Thomas’ loincloth. “If you could just whip it out real quick, this won’t take a minute.”
“No thanks,” Thomas said flatly. “I think I’ll do without putting jewels on my junk.” Especially after that comment about not knowing how to get it off.
“Junk?” Bright Bracelet asked in offense. “I’ll have you know Ornate’s Ornates boasts the finest jewelry in all Canterlot.”
“No. Not the merchandise. I meant, ugh,” Thomas groaned. “It’s a euphemism for genitals, alright?” He admitted with an annoyed sigh. Cultural barriers are really annoying. “Point is, I don’t want metal on my crotch. Besides, we’re not even shopping for me.”
“Maybe you’re not,” Moonlight retorted flatly as she eyed the ring a moment longer. “I was told we were to be offered a considerable discount to make up for a certain… transgression, earlier. Would that still apply if I decided to leave and come back later?”
“Certainly, ma’am,” Bright Bracelet chirped as she retrieved a quill and paper with her magic. “I’ll just make a little note here,” she handed off the paper, “and you are free to return any time.” She glanced at Thomas before giving Moonlight a conspiratorial wink.
Ignoring Thomas’ confused stammering, the group pushed the human along to a new section of the display, the one with the collars.
“I figure it’s about time we got to these,” Bright Bracelet held out her hands in presentation. “We’ve got quite an array of colors, from the gem encrusted, to the plain, to even some with spikes if that’s what you want.”
“They’re all the same size,” Talon noted as she observed. “Do you have to get them fitted?”
“Not necessarily,” Bright Bracelet dismissed. “Some of our collars are enchanted to match whatever neck they’re placed on. However, the enchantment is… well it’s new.” She said in the tone of a pony who hoped what they said made sense. “The idea is that the collar fits the first pony it’s put on, and then holds that size indefinitely. However, if placed on another pony, the collar refits itself. You can do this a few times, but eventually the enchantment wears out and you have to get it recharged. The idea is that you can share a collar between multiple partners.”
“A neat trick,” Talon commented. “But for what I’m thinking, we’re gonna need several of these if we plan on going that route.”
“For the Princess?” Bright Bracelet whispered, glancing cautiously around the store.
“I’m afraid that’s on a need-to-know basis, ma’am,” Moonlight cut in not unkindly.
As the ponies and griffon conversed, Thomas had begun staring blankly at the collars as he thought. Luna, Moonlight, Talon, and Silver. He listed. Luna’s basically covered with Twister, but what about the others? He’d seen a number of things in this store that he’d imagined the ladies in his life would appreciate, and it wasn’t like he couldn’t afford them. The trick would be in making the purchase without letting the others know, especially his unicorn shadow.
“Hey. Do you guys have a catalogue for your merchandise?” He asked the salesmare.
“We do.” Bright Bracelet squatted down and retrieved a small pamphlet from behind the counter before offering it to Thomas. “Here ya go.”
Thomas opened the pamphlet and scanned for the particular feature he’d thought of. “You guys wouldn’t happen to do delivery, would you?”
“I don’t think so sir,” Bright Bracelet said apologetically. “I’ll have to go ask my manager.” The mare departed and returned soon after with a blue unicorn who wore a large frilly hat that could probably function as an umbrella
“I’m terribly sorry, sir.” She began. “My name is Ornate Crown, the owner of this fine establishment, and I’m afraid we offer no such service.”
“Shame,” Thomas frowned in disappointment. “Don’t suppose you know if any other stores do?”
“I doubt it,” Ornate said with a scoff. “Establishments such as mine wish to distance ourselves from the commonality of… fast-food chains,” she said the word as though it were a swear.
Thomas furrowed his brow as he continued to study the catalogue. “I guess I can understand why you’d want to distance yourselves like that, but you’re kind of missing the point.”
“And that would be?” Ornate asked with a dismissive scoff. It was apparent she was merely humoring him.
“Second rate food is only part of what fast-food places sell,” the human explained thoughtfully. “The other, bigger part, is convenience.”
Ornate scrunched her nose in bemusement. “How exactly does one sell an intangible concept such as convenience?”
Thoumas couldn’t help but grin. “In the same way you sell class,” he replied. “It’s like an invisible price tag added on to every purchase. For example: your store has an atmosphere of refinement and propriety to it, right?” he asked and Ornate beamed in approval. “Well, that the atmosphere of the store is part of what you’re selling, something customers want but might not be able to get anywhere else. They come here because the like the feel of this store, they’re buying the shopping experience as much as they are the merchandise. Does that make sense?”
Ornate’s face scrunched in thought as she considered. “I… I’m not sure.”
“Customers want a thing, so you give it to them. In fast-food it’s like ar der hmm,” Thomas attempted to say through the claw clasped over his lips.
“Never mind him,” Talon said as she pulled Thomas back. “He rambles sometimes. Anyway, I think we’ve seen enough for right now. My friends and I’ll come back for that little discount later, kay?”
“Um, okay?” Ornate responded as the griffon hurried her party out of the store.
“Chimp,” Talon whispered warningly into his ear. “You were blabbing again.”
“Talon?” Moonlight asked warily.
“Chimp here was about to give away human economic stuff, for FREE!” she emphasized. “Dumbass should be selling this stuff to universities or something, not blabbing to the first mildly attractive mare who asks.” She lifted her claw for him to answer.
“… Oops,” Thomas deadpanned.
“Damn right, oops.” She stepped back and gave him some space as he took his clothes back and dressed in the on the sidewalk. “I thought you introverts were supposed to spend all your time thinking.”
“I was,” Thomas chuckled. “I was thinking I could get something delivered so I could surprise you guys with presents. You can imagine how tricky that might be for someone like me.” His eyes trailed over to Moonlight.
“You really shouldn’t worry so much,” the mare assured. “I’ll like whatever you give me.”
Thomas fixed her with a deadpan stare. “When has that line ever worked on anyone ever?”
Talon’s beak moved as she silently counted to herself. “Three, maybe four times,” she said with reasonable certainty. “Out of the roughly hundred attempts I’ve seen.”
Thomas gestured at Talon while giving Moonlight a ‘see-what-I-mean’ look.
Moonlight rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Hearth’s Warming is about spending time with friends and loved ones.”
“And commemorating your ancestors’ victory over snow demons that literally wanted to freeze your kind to death,” Talon added in a tone resembling a lecture. She did not falter under Moonlight’s terse glare.
“Presents,” the mare continued, “are just a nice bonus.”
Thomas nodded like a bobble head. “Uh huh. Yeah. That’s easy for you to say, but I’m…” Thomas trailed off, unable to finish.
Moonlight zeroed in on Thomas’ expression and recognized it instantly. “Pardon the armor,” she said before scooping him up in a hug. “You’re being hard on yourself again, aren’t you?” It was more of an accusation than a question.
Seeing no point in resisting, Thomas surrendered to the mare’s comforting strength. “You guys do literally everything for me. Is it too much to ask to do a little something for you that isn’t sex related?”
Moonlight sighed. “If you’re that intent on it, I’ll see if I can arrange something.”
Thomas pushed the mare back to look up into her eyes. “Just like that?”
“Don’t get me wrong. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill here, but it’s clearly coming from a good place, so I’ll allow it.”
“So glad to get your permission,” Thomas snarked.
“As you should be,” Moonlight said authoritatively. “Now then, I suppose we should continue our shopping. See if we can find anything we like for a later purchase.”
With Thomas and company out shopping, Silver had seized upon the opportunity to experiment with, as the uncouth youth on the streets would say, putting her mare in her place. Several hours had passed as Silver made good on her vow, leaving several whip marks on the larger mare’s perfect flanks. By the time she was done with the cooler, both her thighs and Luna’s flanks had been slapped pink. The sight of her work made the noble born mare grin in pride like a common fool. Too weak and sore to move, she merely cozied up to the mare beside her so they could enjoy one another’s warmth.
“You are improving.”
At the sound of Luna’s even compliment, Silver found the strength to crane her neck up.
“You appear to have a solid grasp of the fundamentals of power play,” Luna continued. “I could recommend a few books for you to study, though at this point all we can really do is practice until you find something we are both comfortable with.”
“W-what do you mean?” Silver asked with equal parts befuddlement and exhaustion.
“There is still hesitance in your actions,” Luna said compassionately as she magically undid her ropes. “You still view me as some delicate idol to be worshipped and it shows in your bucking.” With her body now free, the mare sat up and gave her back a satisfying pop.
Silver tensed at the criticism, her mind racing with self-chastisement as she contemplated her failure. “Harder,” she muttered. “I should have been harder, harder slaps, harsher words. Oh, Princess. I apologize for my mmph…” Silver’s remaining words were lost as she was embraced by Luna and her face was encompassed by alicorn cleavage.
Luna shushed her gently as she stroked the smaller mare’s back. “Be still, my little mistress,” Luna cooed. “No pony starts out as an expert.” She pulled Silver up between her breasts to better look her in the eye. “That you are willing to put in the effort is what pleases me the most.”
Silver felt her eyes begin to water as she strained to extract herself from her breasty prison and nuzzle her Princess. “I just want to make you happy.”
Luna giggled as she met her halfway and touched noses. “I know you do,” she hummed. “Though I suspect that there is more that you wish to say.”
Silver licked her lips apprehensively. “You are just so… you,” she said reverently, ashamed of her inability to be more articulate. “I will gladly be your mistress if it makes you happy, but…”
“You wish to be the pet too?” Luna finished.
Silver nodded silently.
“The weight of the crown is a heavy burden to bear, my little Silver. What you and the others do for me is relaxing in a way I cannot even put into words, but if there is more you wish to do, then you need only ask.”
Silver hummed as she nuzzled under Luna’s chin. “This. I like being like this with you.”
Luna felt her heart swell, along with a mix of maternal instincts as she held the smaller mare close. “I like this too,” she purred contentedly. And for a while the two just stayed like that, enjoying the feel of the other’s softness and warmth.
“You know, I have had this very conversation with Thomas more times than I care to count.”
Silver tensed at the mention of Thomas’ name, which did not go unnoticed by her captor.
“He has struggled with his confidence since that very first night, and, perhaps, always will,” Luna said wistfully. “It is his nature, and part of why I love him.”
Silver swallowed as Luna bore down on her with those grand, teal orbs of hers. Does she know? She was almost thankful that the massive alicorn breasts held her head in place, lest she give something away.
“Your nature is very different from his, but no less dear to my heart,” Luna informed, never losing her kind smile as she kissed Silver’s forehead. “Where he is creative, you are cunning. I do not imagine he would ever have much of a chance to best you at chess. At the same time, I think we are many years away before any of us are no longer impressed by his foreign and exotic way of thinking. And yet despite your differences, you two share many of the same fears. You fear my disappointment, that your lack of ability would mean loss of my feelings for you.”
As best she could, Silver kept her gaze firmly on her alicorn.
“But, and though my sister surpasses me in this regard, I like to think of myself as a very patient mare.”
“Luna?”
“Patience and understanding are key to any relationship. I am patient with you for your lack of expertise, and you are patient with me for my, admittedly, needy tendencies and occasional lapses in judgment,” she giggled softly as she adjusted Silver’s head to face her once more. “So tell me, my little mistress-to-be, do you think you can show patience with him?”
A mare of lesser resolve would have caved in right then and there, vowed to do whatever Luna said and defer to her wisdom. However, Silver’s sense of duty would not waver so easily.
“You need more than he can offer,” she said resolutely. “You need more than any one pony could ever offer, but you also need somepony capable of bringing it-us all together; somepony capable of taking charge and accepting the consequences of their actions. At this time, I do not believe Thomas has the fortitude to handle that responsibility. He was inadequately trained before receiving his title.”
Luna nodded along, her face free of any emotion as she listened. “At this time?” she asked evenly as she loosened her grip, allowing Silver to sit directly in front of her.
The little bat stared resolutely up at her beloved alicorn. “Firstly, I would like to ask how you discovered my intentions.”
“Fair enough,” Luna agreed. “I had suspected for a while now, and given your rather frequent talks with Sun Dancer…”
“You asked her to spy on me?” Silver asked, sounding hurt.
“No!” Luna insisted urgently, losing her cool. “I… She had suspicions of her own and conferred with you independent of any order I gave. We conferred shortly after.”
Silver nodded, swallowing down any feelings of betrayal, especially when she imagined how Thomas would feel in her position. It left her feeling dirty to think of what she’d been planning. “Then… was this all some sort of test from Celestia?” she asked, feeling powerless at the prospect of being maneuvered around like a pawn, and not even by her Princess.
“Sun Dancer has overstepped her bounds, interfering with my harem as she would her own,” Luna said coldly. “I have brought this up with my sister, so I am reasonably confident that it should not happen again.”
**********
Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location…
“Nnngh!” Sun Dancer cried through her gag. The matronly mare was hanging from the ceiling, wrists and ankles bound behind her as her tits hung freely. Though her horn was free of any ring, her bonds were a test of her devotion in accepting her Princess’ will.
“I do not enjoy this,” Celestia said solemnly as she stood beneath her beloved, holding her stick in one hand and sinisterly tapping it into the other. “I do not enjoy disciplining you as though you are some foal who doesn’t know better, but that is how you’ve acted.”
“Nnngh!” Sun Dancer moaned pleadingly as she struggled against her binds.
“Tis one thing to give advice to a peer,” Celestia began as she walked circles around the bound mare, teasing her with the continual tapping of the stick. “If I didn’t know you better, I might say that you attempted to play mistress to two harems, perhaps even going so far as to incite a coup.”
“Nnngh!” Sun Dancer shook her head vehemently.
“Thankfully I do know you better,” Celestia sighed as she nodded. “You believe you were doing what was best for all, including Thomas, but this insolence cannot be overlooked. You understand that, yes?”
Sun Dancer slumped in defeat and gave a resigned groan.
“Good,” Celestia said firmly as she extended the end of the stick, the part with the feather attached, up to Sun Dancer’s breasts, resuming her tickle torture. The bound unicorn writhed and thrashed in her bound state. A few times her horn even lit on reflex, but she suppressed the urge to cast any spells, to which Celestia smiled gratefully. “Only a few more hours, and you will be ready to issue a formal and sincere apology.”
**********
Silver nodded remorsefully. “A part of me wishes to pin it all on Sun Dancer, to blame her for putting those ideas in my head, but that would not be fair. She merely put to words what I had been thinking for some time.”
Luna nodded her understanding. “Had she approached the matter more delicately, perhaps in a more educational manner, I might not be so upset,” she informed. “Generally, the position of Senior Concubine has been decided by both the Princess, and the harem as a whole.”
Silver’s ears perked at this. “I was led to believe the alicorn was the one who made the final choice.”
“The final choice, yes,” Luna concurred with a remorseful sigh. “In the past, an aging Senior Concubine would pick and groom a successor, somepony both loved and respected by the harem. Their trust in the old would pass onto the new, so by the time the decision came to me,” she touched the top of her breast, “the decision had, in essence, already been made years prior.”
Silver nodded, absorbing this new information like a sponge. “But this time is different. This time there is no old Senior to pass on their knowledge to the new.”
Luna shook her head gently. “That said, I cannot argue with your prior points. It is true that, at this time, Thomas is too tender-hearted to accept responsibilities that, I must admit, were foisted on him without the necessary training. I… He was the first true friend I had in a thousand years, and I wanted him to be happy. But that is no excuse and I take full responsibility for his lack of preparation.”
“Even so,” Silver picked up, “when I first applied, he did everything in his power to make me feel welcome. He was not so ashamed of his ignorance that it stopped him from asking for help, at least when it came to the harem. He was kind, considerate, and loving.” Silver exhaled heavily. “Yet despite his tender heart, I cannot think of any outright mistakes he has made.”
“All true,” Luna agreed thoughtfully. “Be that as it may, do you still believe you would make a better Senior Concubine than Thomas?”
“I… I am less certain than I was,” Silver admitted shamefully.
“I see. In that case,” Luna continued, “if we are in agreement that Thomas is in need of proper training, would it not follow that you should be the one to train him?”
Silver blinked in surprise. “You… would trust me to do that?”
Luna smiled, leaned forward, and softly pecked Silver on the nose. “If I did not trust you, my little mistress, you would not be here,” she said with a soft sigh. “If you sincerely think you would handle the job better, I will not stop you, but I will insist that you speak to Thomas directly and discuss the matter like adults. But if you are willing, I think it would be best if the two of you work together to better each other. Perhaps you could even share the role with him?”
Silver sighed in defeat. Her attempted coup, for that was how she now saw it, had been discovered before it could even get off the ground. Though, if she were being honest with herself, she didn’t really mind. In fact, she was actually rather relieved by this turn of events. “I… yes. I think I would like that.”
**********
“Hey guys,” Thomas greeted as he entered Luna’s chambers, followed shortly by Moonlight and Talon. “What’s… going on?” he asked apprehensively.
Luna and Silver were sharing drinks at the table, wearing unsettlingly somber looks as they turned to face the newcomers.
Oh shit, Thomas thought. Did someone die?
Moonlight and Talon must have held similar thoughts as they shared worried glances with one another.
Luna turned from the trio to look down at Silver. “Shall I begin?”
“No,” Silver sighed in defeat. “I need to take responsibility for my own actions.” The bat mare stood and bodily faced those by the door, focusing her eyes squarely on Thomas.
Talon lifted her chin and cocked her head to the side, turning a wary eye on Silver. “What’s this about?”
Moonlight said nothing, though she did take a protective step forward.
Silver nodded to the females to either side of Thomas, acknowledging their gestures and wordlessly submitting to their authority. “Senior Concubine Thomas. I have a confession to make.”
Formal titles, Thomas thought warily as he nodded his acknowledgment. This must be serious.
Silver breathed deeply with closed eyes, silently psyching herself up before once more meeting Thomas’ eyes. Though it was never easy to admit one’s guilt, Silver’s mother had taught her the dishonor of avoiding one’s responsibility. “I confess my doubts in your suitability as Senior Concubine, as well as my own desire to replace you.”
“You what!?” Moonlight shouted and took an angry stomp forward. Silver flinched back in anticipation of the mare’s blow, only for them both to be surprised when Moonlight had been stopped by a claw on her shoulder.
Talon said nothing as her eyes roamed the scene. At Moonlight’s furious look, the griffon cocked her head over to the table, indicating Luna and the stern look she was giving them all.
“P-Princess?” Moonlight asked.
“Allow her to finish,” Luna said evenly.
Silver nodded appreciatively at Luna before resuming. “If I can, I wish to be blunt with you, Thomas,” she said, ending with a questioning inflection.
Thomas just nodded his agreement, not quite certain of his own feelings yet. Intellectually he knew he’d just been told he was shit at his job by the one seeking to replace him, albeit politely, but it just didn’t quite click for him on an emotional level. He wasn’t even certain if Moonlight had overacted just then, his feet laden with confusion.
“Had circumstances been even slightly different,” Silver continued bluntly, “there is no doubt in my mind that you would not have been Luna’s Senior Concubine. Though your love and devotion for Luna is without question, you have failed to properly execute the duties expected of a Senior Concubine and make the hard judgement calls that are necessary of any leader. You have shown little to no ambition, and your efforts to better learn the demands of your role have, more often than not, only come at the coaxing of those around you. You, Thomas, are not a natural leader.”
Thomas continued to silently nod, still unable to process what he should be feeling. Though he was glad that she acknowledged his feelings for Luna, somewhat relieved that this wasn’t some bid to kick him out of the harem, he simply could not think of an adequate rebuttal to her other points. Even Moonlight’s supportive touch and smile did little to lift his spirits.
This was not the first time Thomas had been left so dumbstruck. In the past, when he’d overheard people talking about emotionally heavy subjects, such as hardships of friends or deaths in the family, he’d always retreated. When he couldn’t physically move, he’d retreat into his own mind and just try to make sense of the situation. These moments always left him unsatisfied in the results. He need only glance around to anyone else in the room to see that his response was different from theirs. That was just how he was, but it had never been much of an issue… before.
“But I want you to understand that I did not do this out of any ill will,” Silver plead insistently. “I… I sincerely believed that it would be easier for you, with all of your other burdens, to not bear this responsibility on your shoulders.”
Thomas’ brow furrowed as he considered all he’d heard. He cared for Silver, not so much as he did for Moonlight or Luna, but enough that he wanted to give her a chance. “What exactly did you do?”
“Pardon?”
“You said that you didn’t think I made a very good leader,” Thomas clarified. “Fine. Can’t say I’m not guilty of that too.”
“Thomas,” Moonlight whispered in concern.
“But what exactly did you do?” Thomas repeated. “I guess this kinda just proves your point, but I’m a little sketchy on what all this even is. I mean, can you really just… take the role like that?”
Luna took her turn to speak, clarifying as she had with Silver about how the duties and responsibilities of a Senior Concubine were passed on through apprenticeship, then accepted through consensus of the harem and alicorn approval. “Silver is correct that, had I not given in to corruption,” Luna said stiffly, “or even if you had appeared even a month later than you had, there is every possibility that Moonlight or Silver would hold your station,” she explained as she gestured between the two mares.
“Harem’s like a herd, chimp,” Talon reminded tiredly. “Some herds get by without a clear leader, but the harem’s way too complicated for that. The job’s more personal than formal, which means it’s more open to change. All ya really gotta do is explain why the old lead ain’t so good anymore and it’s kinda left to a vote after that. In the case of the harem,” she continued, “the alicorn’s gotta listen to the arguments and at least try to remain unbiased, for whatever that’s worth,” she scoffed derisively.
“Indeed,” Luna agreed as she continued. “You did not ask for this role and its responsibilities. You came to me in my hour of need, for which I will always be grateful. Yet despite my feelings for you, I still selfishly foisted this position upon you without properly preparing you for all it entails. I foolishly rationalized how happy it made you and that all would work out in the end, even in spite of all the hurdles you were facing then and even now. And for that,” Luna swallowed as her voice momentarily wavered, “I am sorry.”
And there it was. Thomas was finally able to feel something. “I’m sorry, too.”
“You!?” Moonlight gasped. “What the hay do you have to be sorry for? She’s the one who’s been scheming behind your back,” she said, gesturing at Silver.
“Yeah,” Thomas agreed leadingly. “And I noticed she still hasn’t answered my question of what she even did,” he finished as his eyes fell back on the bat mare.
Silver tried not to fidget beneath the human’s surprisingly soft glare. “Nothing, yet,” she admitted. “I had spoken with Sun Dancer on the matter. She also believed I was more qualified for Senior Concubine and encouraged me to do what I believed was best for the harem.”
“Aw damn it,” Talon bemoaned as she rested her face in her claw. “What’s that crone up to, now?”
“I have already spoken with Sun Dancer on the matter, as has my sister,” Luna replied curtly. “While I believe the mare’s actions to have been terribly inappropriate, Celestia is confident that the crone, as you say, did not act out of spite.” Luna’s inflection did not sound as though she believed her own words.
“It was my intent to confront you privately,” Silver resumed, “to gently explain why it would be easier for you to relinquish your position to me.”
“Was?” Thomas asked as the knowledge that the mare who was basically his equal had also questioned his suitability.
“I did not want to be confrontational,” Silver replied. “You are a gentle stallion with a kind heart. You have been nothing but welcoming to me, picking me up whenever I stumbled. I realized, after Luna spoke with me, that it was selfish of me to be unwilling to do the same for you.”
“Silver?”
Much to everyone’s surprise, Silver then fell to her knees and softly bowed her head forward. “I prostrate myself before you, Senior Concubine Thomas. For my impertinence, I surrender myself to your mercy in the hopes of once more earning your trust. But please, if you will allow it, it would be my honor to stay by your side and help you up when you stumble.”
Moonlight opened her mouth to speak, but closed it when she had no words. It would not be appropriate for her to speak. This was an old pony social norm. When a challenge for lead failed, the challenger was deemed automatically expunged from the herd and had to request reentry. And while Silver was being a little overdramatic with the bowing, it was commonly understood that the act involved a lot of plot kissing. Granted it had never happened in her parents’ herd, but she’d heard the stories. As she reflected on this, making a mental note to explain what had happened to Thomas later, Moonlight looked expectantly to the human and silently awaited his answer.
At this point, Thomas was more than familiar with the weight of all eyes in the room bearing down upon him. It was like an annoying neighbor who would pop in every now and then to borrow his stuff. Though the human wasn’t 100% on the more subtle intricacies of what was happening, Silver’s apology was rather blatant and he could infer the rest through context. Silver wanted to be the lead, talked it out with Luna, and now she doesn’t. Simple enough, he thought uncertainly.
“Truth is,” he finally answered, noting the room’s audible silence. “The truth is, well, I really don’t know what I want,” he admitted bashfully. “I… If you had actually done that, come up to me and tried to explain things like equals, I might’ve agreed.”
Silver dared lift her head, but just enough so she could meet Thomas eye to eye.
“My last job before coming here was retail,” the human explained. “I watched what the managers and supervisors did and said. And even when it bugged me when they gave out orders, or were maybe a little too critical, I kinda understood that they were just doing what they had to, what the job of managing needed them to do. And I remember thinking that kind of responsibility wasn’t for me, because I didn’t think I’d ever be comfortable with saying whatever I had to, even when it made others not like me.
“But then I came here.” Thomas looked up to Luna, then around to those he held most dear. “I met all of you, and you were all more supportive than I could’ve ever hoped for. Even you, Silver.”
Silver blinked her surprise as her ears folded back in guilt.
“You helped me out a bunch of times, showing me stuff I didn’t really understand, and I was happy with that. I was,” he blushed, “happy being the center of attention like that. I know we’re all here for Luna, but that’s still how it felt to me. For the first time in my life I’m happy being where I am and doing what I’m doing. I think about all the new friends I’m basically fated to meet, and it makes me, I don’t know, nervous-cited.”
“An amalgam of nervous and excited,” Luna clarified for all.
“Silver, I can honestly say I’m glad we met. I was happy getting to know you and just hanging out. And the idea of doing the same with a bunch more ponies, of just being friendly and showing them the ropes is, well, something I think I can handle,” he admitted modestly. “And, now that I think about it, would that really change if I wasn’t Senior anymore?” he asked, leaving the question open for all.
There was a long, awkward silence as those assembled contemplated the question.
“If I may?” Luna spoke up as she finally stood from the table and walked over to where the others had assembled. “Thomas. You have spoken from the heart and I cannot deny how it warms my own. You sincerely want to help. And Silver. You were trained to lead since you were small, have displayed a profound sense of duty and honor. Both of you possess qualities that are crucial for an effective Senior Concubine. Yet where you have weaknesses, they are balanced out by the complimentary skills of the other,” she explained as she gestured between the kneeling mare and standing human. “So, for the time being, perhaps it would be constructive if the two of you shared in the duties and responsibilities of Senior Concubine?”
Luna’s audience gawked at her in befuddlement.
“Can you do that?” Silver asked.
“She’s the Princess,” Talon said matter-of-factly. “I ain’t gonna argue. Though I may have to kick Sun Dancer’s flank next time I see her.”
“Thomas,” Moonlight spoke. “Whatever your decision, know you have my support,” she finished with a brief glare directed down at Silver. She hated feeling this helpless to protect her stallion, but dared not wound his pride by taking the decision from him.
Slowly climbing back to her hooves, Silver slowly opened and closed her mouth until she eventually found her words. “I believe I would like that, but only if Thomas agrees. I would not wish to impose.”
Thomas made a thoughtful sound. “I’m guessing this is what you meant by all that ‘weight of responsibility’ stuff, huh?”
“Precisely,” Luna said. “As leader, the decision and its consequences are up to you.”
Thomas gave a sigh of acceptance. Que sera, sera, he thought as he stepped forward to the bat mare, ready to give his answer. “Silver.”
The bat mare tensed at the mention of her name. He was standing close, almost close enough for her nipples to touch his chest as his lovely green eyes bore down upon her. Silver swallowed nervously, knowing that whatever the human said would ultimately decide her fate.
Given his months of absorbing pony culture, Thomas gave his answer in the simplest manner he could think of. He took a half step forward, pressed his clothed chest to her bare breasts, and kissed her firmly on the lips.
Silver gave a muffled squeak of surprise, but it soon petered out as she surrendered to the feel of his lips.
All around the pair, their viewers exhaled their relief. Thomas had unequivocally accepted Silver’s apology, yet the other details remained unclear.
“So,” Silver panted after breaking off the kiss. “What are your plans, exactly?”
Thomas smiled and pulled her into a gentle embrace. “I kinda like the idea of us working together. We can do a chief and co-chief thing, and maybe rock-paper-scissors if we can’t agree on something.”
Silver hummed contentedly as she accepted Thomas’ naïve but simple answer. His warmth against her body was also appreciated, though she’d have preferred if he wasn’t wearing clothes. Clothes just got in the way. “As you say, chief,” she said playfully.
“Chief chimp,” Talon tested. “Meh. Seems to fit.”
Luna cooed as she scooped the pair up in a loving embrace. “You. I am so proud of both of you.”
That was the cue for Moonlight and Talon to join the hug. Though the unicorn not so subtly avoided actually touching Silver, the bat mare understood her friend’s feelings and vowed to make it up to both of them.
It had only taken a brief trip to Lieutenant Smokey Iron before the deed was done. The Lieutenant was surprisingly sympathetic to the human’s plight and agreed to let Moonlight exchange shifts with one of the other house guards.
“Hello, sir.” Blade Grace nodded her head in a gesture of acknowledgment and respect.
Thomas smiled insincerely as he regarded the mare. He was uncertain what to make of her. She had been deliberately aloof from the few times they’d spoken, which had always been in the company of Moonlight. Come to think of it, this was probably the first time Thomas had gone anywhere without his unicorn’s company in months.
“I understand I am to accompany you on a shopping trip, Sir?” Grace asked.
“Oh, uh, yeah,” Thomas stammered. “I’ve got some ideas regarding gifts for everyone, but I want them to be a surprise, ya know?”
“Understood,” Grace said as her eyes drifted down his clothed body. “I see that you are suitably dressed, given your lack of fur.” She stepped aside and motioned for him to lead. “Shall we begin, Sir?”
Thomas grimaced, but did as he was bid. The first half of the carriage ride to the shopping district was painfully quiet as the bat mare kept staring at him with an uncomfortable intensity.
“You know I’m not gonna disappear if you blink, right?” Thomas asked, hoping to break the ice.
“As you say, sir.”
Thomas’ shoulders slumped. “Okay. Can we put a stop to the ‘sir’ thing? I’m not real comfortable with all this formality stuff.”
“Sir, with all due respect-”
“Ya wana know something?” Thomas interrupted. “My dad liked to say that whenever someone began a line with ‘with all due respect’, nine times out of ten it was just a sneaky way to say ‘kiss my ass.’”
Grace visibly tensed. “Sir! I can assure you that I meant no such disrespect.” The tension was clear in her voice. “I only meant to say that-”
“Thomas,” he cut her off again. “My name is Thomas, not sir. That is, if you truly care about being respectful towards me,” he leaned forward and offered his hand, “then let’s shake hands and agree to say each other’s names.”
Grace did not budge from her seat, eyeing the human’s hand as if she expected it to start shooting fire any minute. “I… do not believe that would be very appropriate, sir.”
Thomas frowned. “Why not?”
“You are Senior Concubine to-”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Thomas waved his hand dismissively. “I’m aware of what I am.”
“But do you understand it?” Grace asked, only to blink as she realized what she’d said. “I… I didn’t mean to…”
“Educate me, then,” Thomas said not unkindly. “I get that there’s still a lot that I don’t understand. So, since you obviously care about Princess Luna and helping her in any way, by all means, please tell me.”
Grace gave an audible gulp and licked her lips. “The station of concubine is considered near sacred in status. The Princesses have many servants to tend to them, but few who are trusted enough to satisfy their more carnal needs,” she said with an odd inflection, sounding vaguely like a growl or purr. “You perform a duty to the realm that cannot be matched by any manner of training. Yours is a gift you were born with, you and those few lucky enough to share your station. As a devoted follower of Luna, it would be nothing short of a disgrace to show you less than the respect you are owed.”
Thomas narrowed his eyes on the mare. Alright. Time to bring out the big guns. “Either we shake hands,” his lips parted in a sinister grin, “or I’ll tell Luna you think she’s got skinny flanks.”
There was an inferno in the mare’s eyes as she glared back at the human, nostrils flaring. “You wouldn’t dare.” Her lips curled back to display her fangs.
Thomas hadn’t expected such an intense reaction, but managed to keep his cool as he stared the mare down and continued to offer his hand. “You mean that’s not what you think of her flanks?”
“Of course not!” Grace cried angrily. “There is no part of the Night Princess’ body that isn’t perfect, but her flanks are, without question, her best feature.”
It took a fair amount of restraint for Thomas not to smirk as he let his hand fall. Predictable bat mare. “Oh really?” He leaned back in his seat and folded his arms. “Clearly the views of someone who’s never had a good look at her breasts,” he said with a confident smirk.
“You…” Grace shook in anger. “How dare you imply… I already said that the Night Princess’ body was perfect, and I’ll thank you kindly to not try and slander me. Besides, even hidden from eye as her features are, Luna’s flanks are the flanks of legend. Bards used to spend decades comprising sonnets worthy of her plot’s glory. The phrase ‘mooning’ didn’t spring from the ether, after all,” she boasted confidently.
“Fair enough,” Thomas nodded, stone-faced. “However, there are two things you’re missing here.”
“Oh? And what might they be?” Grace asked incredulously.
“Firstly, you’re speaking as an outsider looking in. Like you said, I’m one of the chosen few lucky enough to have actually touched both.” He smirked, enjoying the way the mare reacted. “Oh the stories I could tell you. Frankly, I doubt you’d believe half of them.” he chuckled.
Grace’s eye had begun to twitch. “And the second?”
Thomas gave his most sinister smirk as he readied to spring his trap. “You haven’t called me sir in a while.”
All color flushed from Grace’s face at the human’s words. However, that look of fear soon morphed into a faint yet approving smile. “Playing off my devotion to the Night Princess to lure me into a trap, aye?” She gave a relenting sigh. “Well done.”
“Eh. I have my moments,” Thomas said with a shrug. “So, does this mean you can start calling me Thomas?”
Grace cracked her first smile since they’d met. “To the victor goes the spoils, Sir Thomas.”
**********
“You weren’t kidding,” Thomas said as he flipped through the vinyl covers. “I thought you were embellishing with that stuff about the bards, but damn!” There was no hiding how impressed he was. The music store had devoted entire sections of shelves to records about each of the Princesses, the same as they did for any other genre of music. Luna’s section was admittedly smaller than Celestia’s, and Cadence’s smaller still, but the volume and variety each section had to offer was still commendable.
“And see here,” Grace pointed eagerly at the racks. “It’s divided into subsections. We’ve got songs devoted to Luna’s night, the stars, moon, and this big section here is devoted to love for her wonderful plot.”
A thought occurred and Thomas couldn’t help but ask. “If the Princesses were actually guys, would there be songs dedicated to their dicks?”
Grace looked at him as if he’d just grown a second head.
Thomas turned his attention back to the records, smiling to himself. If she only knew. “So, I take it you’ve been to this place before,” he said, trying to change the subject. “I can only guess what your preferred genre is.”
Grace continued to glare, but eventually answered. “Yes. This is one of the few places in town that sells some of these antique records. In fact, some are in such high demand that the store only rents them, and the fines are ridiculous. It’s like the manager is some sort of disgruntled librarian or something,” she whispered.
Thomas laughed softly. They were making good progress, though she still kept a respectful distance. “Speaking from experience?”
Grace averted her gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Thomas laughed again as he thumbed through the records until he found one he liked. “There a place we can try these out?”
“There’s a player over there to try out potential buys,” Grace directed and they gave the music a listen. “What do you think?” But in her head, what she meant to ask was Is this good enough for the Princess?
Thomas was bobbing his head to the beat as he read the lyrics and smiled. “Yeah. It’s a good rhythm, and Silver’s always a sucker for the romantic stuff.” The human was still mulling over his feeling regarding the mare. A part of him even wanted to take this opportunity to get back at her with an intentionally insulting present, but that thought was short lived. He knew such an act would just make things harder in the long run, so he focused on shopping with utmost sincerity.
“Silver?” Grace asked. So, not the Princess? She thought despondently before catching herself. “I understand her to be a mare of refined tastes. I’m sure she’ll love it.” You coward. Stop blithering and ask what the Princess likes!
“Oh yeah. This one’s a keeper,” Thomas nodded and, upon retrieving the record, slipped it into his shopping bag. “One down, three to go.”
Three! Grace’s mind hissed at her. You know he’s shopping for four. Excluding Silver Bell, that just leaves Moonlight, Talon, and the Princess. Mare the buck up and ask him! “So, who do you want to shop for next?”
“You wouldn’t believe it, but Moonlight’s really into techno.”
Buck!
“Unfortunately, that’s not really my thing. Have any suggestions?”
Snap out of it you wannabe bloodsucker! [Bloodsucker is a racial slur dating back to the days when superstitious Equestrians assumed that all bat ponies were vampires] Just help him through his list and you’ll get there eventually. Grace quickly called over one of the store’s workers who guided them through some of the more popular songs, most of which were made by the self-styled artist DJ-Pon 3.
“Got anything on the comedy side?” Thomas asked. The beats were nice, but there was nothing he really liked for Moonlight. “I asked around and apparently Talon likes joke songs.”
Double buck!
Alas, there really weren’t that many comedy songs. It just wasn’t a popular genre. And of those they listened to, neither Thomas nor Grace laughed.
“Perhaps you should consider something other than music for her,” Grace suggested. Good. Now, just subtly ease into it. “I know this one song I’m certain the Princess would like.”
Thomas looked over to where Grace was pointing and frowned. “It’s not in the Luna section, is it?”
Grace blinked at Thomas’ hesitant tone. “Yes. Why?”
“Well… Luna likes shows of affection and all,” Thomas began.
Get on with it!
“But I’m not certain she’d like listening to a song about how great she is.” He leaned in and lowered his voice to a whisper, not noticing the small cabal of ponies who had their ears pointed in his direction. “She likes being admired, but she doesn’t want to just listen to stuff about herself all night and come off as a narcissist.”
A hurricane of incoherent slurs tore through Grace’s mind before she was able to pull off a full reboot, all while standing stoically still. “You don’t say,” she said with a grace befitting her name. “What sort of admiration would she like?”
“That’s the question, isn’t it.” Thomas touched his fingers to his chin in thought. “I know she gets a lot of expensive gifts from noble ponies, but that’s all trying to basically buy favors. It’s insincere and, I probably shouldn’t be saying this,” he softened his voice even more, “but I’ve seen her look at some of the stuff like it’s got a bad smell.”
“Naturally,” Grace said with a resolute nod. “A gift not given of the heart may as well be left in the wrapping, especially at this time of year.”
Thomas gave an affirming nod. “That’s all well and good in theory, but it doesn’t really answer the question of what to get her, or the rest of them.”
“The rest of-” Grace had to stop herself as she recalled once more that the Princess wasn’t the only one on Thomas’ mind. “Ah yes. There’s still Sir Moonlight and Lady Talon to consider.”
“Talon’s probably expecting some kind of joke gift, like a sex toy or something, so I guess that can be my fallback.”
Grace furrowed her brow. In what way can a sex toy be called a joke gift? As far as she could tell, given her lifetime of growing up with pony cultural norms, a sex toy was generally either a romantic gesture or something as practical as a new set of glasses. This human has very odd views of the world.
“What about Moonlight?” Thomas asked. “You knew her before I did. Got any thoughts?”
Grace didn’t have to think long. “Normally Moonlight’s a practically minded mare. Most of the time she’ll ask for some new horseshoes or maybe armor polish. But if you want to get in her good graces,” she explained as a smirk took her lips, “I have a few ideas.”
**********
“Chocolate,” Grace softly proclaimed as they entered the candy store and beheld the rainbow multitudes of teeth rotting wonder. “It doesn’t matter what it is. If it tastes like chocolate, it won’t last long in Moonlight’s company.”
Thomas beamed as he took in the delectable sights and muttered something under his breath.
“What was that?” Grace asked.
“Just saying that women liking chocolate seems to be one of those universal things.”
Grace gave a half-smile at that. “Sorry to disappoint, but I’ve always hated chocolate.”
“Really? Even milk chocolate?”
Grace shrugged. “It just never appealed to me.”
“My deepest condolences,” Thomas said, trying to sound like he was apologizing for the passing of a loved one, which earned a sour smile from the mare.
Thomas bought a wide array of chocolate candies and had the appropriate preservation spell placed on them, though the stallion behind the counter recommended they still be refrigerated, just in case.
“Two down, two to go,” Thomas said contentedly as they exited the candy store. His purchases swung lazily by his sides.
“What about that Ornate place?” Grace asked. “As I understand it, Lady Talon is the sort who would savor buying their most expensive items at criminally high discounts.”
“That’s just it,” Thomas countered. “She’d want to be the one to make the purchase so she can watch them hurt, financially anyway. Likely she’s already bought their most expensive thing, either for herself or a Hearth’s Warming present. No.” He shook his head. “I want to get her something special, something she doesn’t expect.”
Grace pondered with her charge as they walked down the street with no particular destination. The sooner they finished with Talon, she reasoned, the sooner they could start on what mattered. The bat mare didn’t know when exactly she had concocted this plan, but the more she thought about it, the more she had her heart set. Whatever options they discussed for the Princess, Thomas would no doubt pick the best, which left her free to get the second best. She’d buy it, wrap it up nice and pretty, and gift it anonymously to her beloved Princess.
Of course, Blade Grace entertained no delusions about this leading into anything. A guard being taken in as a lover by royalty was largely nothing more than a popular trope among readers and writers. Lucky ponies like Moonlight existed, but they were few and far between. Grace knew she would never be a concubine, would never share in her alicorn’s bed, that her affections weren’t dissimilar from a fan-filly meeting her idol, and that one day she’d meet her real special somepony. However, in the meantime, she was dead set on her plan.
Then it hit her. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve always seen Lady Talon as the tomboyish type.”
“That’s not inaccurate,” Thomas replied, his interest peaked. “What about it?”
Grace stopped and turned to face bodily toward a particular store. “Well, if you’re still thinking of getting a joke gift, I imagine they might have something.”
Thomas followed Grace’s line of sight until he spotted the most girly looking store he’d ever seen. It was so pink, so frilly, that just looking at it made him sicker than when they were at the candy store. “Perfect.”
The next hour was spent perusing through a myriad of scents in the perfume shop. Since it all smelled like aromatic garbage to Thomas, he relied on Grace’s expertise to pick out the most un-Talon scent the store had to offer. The salesmare said the scent was meant to conjure images befitting the most regal and proper of ponies with an added benefit of frightening off the riffraff. She’d said that last part while looking unkindly at Thomas, but he didn’t care. He found his gift for Talon.
The pair broke for lunch soon after at a local café.
“And we’re still not sure who did it,” Grace explained with barely contained laughter. “But the ropes sprung to life and tied the Sergeant in a way I’ve never seen outside of certain magazines,” she snickered. “The knots were so tight, they couldn’t get her down for almost an hour.”
Thomas had his face buried in his hand, laughing as he shook his head as tears ran down his cheek. “And no one thought to just cut her down or something?”
“Enchanted ropes,” Grace said with a resigned shrug. “The guard uses them all the time. They don’t break unless a special code is said by authorized personnel.”
“So wouldn’t that mean that it was an officer that set all that up, with the ducks and the,” Thomas stumbled over his own laughter as he recalled, “the… red wagon?”
“That’s what the rumors said.” Grace chortled. “But nothing was ever proven.”
Thomas slumped back in his seat as he eyed his beverage and what remained of his meal. Just tell her, dingus, Thomas thought in chastisement. Tell her you’re having a nice time. It was the polite thing to do, the thing most would regard as common courtesy, but the words never made it to the human’s lips. He’d never been comfortable about expressing affection to strangers, even if he did genuinely like them. Even back on Earth when he would talk to someone on a daily basis, he still had trouble calling them friend even in his own mind. So now, like all the times before, he rationalized that he’d just leave it up to the other person to figure it out their relationship through context.
“Are you from Canterlot?” Thomas eventually asked.
“No. Why do you ask?” she asked before taking a sip of her drink.
“Well, I was just wondering how you’re going to spend Hearth’s Warming and if you’ve done your own shopping yet.”
Grace gave an affectionate smile. “Don’t worry. I’ve got plans to visit my folks for the holidays. The guard has a schedule so too many of us don’t take off at once. Wouldn’t want threats trying to take advantage of the holiday rush. And I’ve already done my shopping.”
“Good to hear.” Thomas nodded. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t being put out or anything.”
“Not at all.” Grace called for a waiter and they paid their bill.
Afterwards they continued in their aimless tour through Canterlot’s shopping district, making idle chitchat as they spit-balled ideas.
“Huh. I’m kind of surprised so few of the royal guard were actually born in Canterlot,” Thomas remarked. “You’d think they’d make a larger percentage.”
“Canterlot is mostly a unicorn city, so most of the guard’s unicorns are natives,” Grace explained. “Most every pony else had to come from outside.”
Thomas nodded as he scanned the immediate stores with a light frown. “Dresses, quills and sofas, music, candy, jewelry…” Thomas listed off discontentedly. “But nothing seems good.”
Grace smiled sympathetically at Thomas. She well understood his pain at being unable to find anything adequate for the Princess. “Maybe… maybe things aren’t the answer,” she offered, earning the human’s attention. “Perhaps what you need is… is a display of sorts.”
Thomas’ eyebrow rose. “Go on.”
“An immortal alicorn has probably already received every dress and gem of every shape conceivable to pony kind,” Grace began. “She’s also probably well acquainted with every manner of romantic gesture under her moon, but most of those were likely from, as you described, nobility trying to buy favors. Most of which I imagine involving the giving of lavish presents.”
Thomas nodded along. “So, if I’m following, the trick is to give her something she’s not accustomed to getting.” At Grace’s affirming nod, Thomas felt a brief uplift of hope before encountering a wall. “But if I ask her, won’t it spoil the surprise?”
Grace just beamed back at him.
Thomas narrowed his eyes on the mare. “You’ve either got an idea,” he began suspiciously, “or you’ve farted and are waiting for me to notice.”
Grace’s grin only faltered slightly. “Princess Luna might be the loveliest alicorn in the city, but she isn’t the only one.”
**********
After a brief stop at a wrapping shop, the pair raced back to the castle. While initially worrying about where to stash the presents so they wouldn’t be found, Thomas was surprised to learn that the house guard had protocols for these very procedures. Apparently it was a joint procedure enacted by both harems thousands of years ago. Basically it came down to the house guard of each Princess agreeing to hide away concubine presents, regardless of who they were meant for, until they were ready to be laid out under the tree. Even then, the guards were under strict orders to keep any and all from snooping, even the Princesses. Once that was taken care of, the pair headed for their real destination.
“You’re lucky you caught me when you did,” Celestia said with a yawn. The princess was garbed in one of her less formal dresses and minus her regalia. Her eyes were droopy and even her hair seemed lethargic. Thomas and Grace had just met up with her, and her contingent of guards, right outside Celestia’s private chambers. “I was just heading off to bed for my weekly nap. What do you need, little human?”
Standing strong and unblinking before the intimidating majesty of the white alicorn, Thomas steeled himself and answered. “Present ideas for your sist-hmm,” he tried to finish, but found that his lips had been sealed shut with a conspicuous golden glow, the same currently emitting from Celestia’s horn.
“Shh!” she hushed, now looking fully awake as her eyes darted suspiciously around the hall. “Not in the open.”
That was Celestia’s only explanation as she set her hand on Thomas’ back and pushed him forcefully into the opening doors to her room. He gave his best muffled protests, but the alicorn was not listening. Incensed at her charge being stolen from under her nose, Grace tried to give chase, but was blocked off by Celestia’s guards.
“We’re sorry,” one said as the doors began to close. “But only authorized personnel are allowed in the Princess’ chambers.”
**********
“Uh oh,” Sun Dancer said unimpressed as she looked up from her book and witnessed Celestia march her prisoner inside. The doors closed with an ominous rumble rousing the attention of the other concubines in the room. “What did he do?” she asked, sounding as though this were all routine.
“He needs ideas for Luna’s present,” Celestia informed with a beaming smile.
“Ah,” was all Sun Dancer had to say before going back to her reading. “Try not to leave any stains.”
“Gah!” Thomas gasped after finally being able to open his mouth. “What’s all this for?”
Celestia knelt down the incredible distance until she was near eye-level with Thomas. “My sister’s spies are everywhere,” she whispered conspiratorially.
“Hear her talk, you’d think she wasn’t just as guilty,” Misty Glade chuckled.
At Thomas’ confusion, Steel Hoof stepped in with an amused snort. “You would not believe the lengths she’s gone to to make this year’s Hearth’s Warming special.”
“It’s her first since her return!” Celestia snapped back. “Why wouldn’t I want everything to be perfect?”
Sun Dancer cleared her throat. “Eyes on the prize, Princess,” she said indifferently as she turned a page in her book. “Eyes on the prize.”
“Right,” Celestia said with a resolute nod before turning back to Thomas. “We’re talking about the extra special gift given by the senior concubine.”
Thomas did not like the way Celestia was eyeing him up and took a step back.
“‘Tia,” Red Amber warned. “You’re scaring the little guy, and to a lesser extent me.”
“Right. Right.” Celestia breathed and calmed herself. Her hair went limp against her back as she folded her legs and sat on the carpeted floor. “Right. So, what exactly were you thinking, dearest Thomas?”
Thomas glanced from the alicorn to the surrounding concubines scattered around the room, noting that Talon was thankfully absent. They were all in various stages of undress and the smell in the air left little doubt as to what some had been doing just prior to his arrival. However, all seemed to keep a respectful distance as they watched the scene unfold. Thomas didn’t much care for being treated like a sideshow spectacle, but he pushed them out of his mind and looked up at the alicorn.
“I got a temporary guard to do shopping for the evening.”
Celestia easily resisted the urge to blurt the mare’s name, giving away that she was already informed. Normally she didn’t keep such close tabs on her sister and her harem, but these were special circumstances.
“I’d gotten stuff for just about everyone except the mare of the hour,” he explained. “That’s when Blade Grace suggested a romantic gesture that Luna wasn’t accustomed to, and who better to know what she’s gotten over the years than,” he gestured at Celestia, “her sister.”
“Naturally,” Celestia said with a pleased smile. “Your guard’s intuition is well honed, as such a gesture would be ideal.” The mare thoughtfully toughed her fingers to her chin. “Call it a hunch, but I’m guessing you don’t want this gesture to be sexual in nature, yes?”
Thomas nodded. “Call me crazy, but I kind of feel like that’d be too much of a work thing. Not to mention it kind of detracts from the sentiment to give something the other person gets on a daily basis.”
“While I might suggest offering to partake in one of her more exotic preferences, I respect your intent in this matter,” Celestia said as she assumed a ponderous expression. “Barring that, tell me what you have considered so far.”
Thomas smiled flatly. “I’ve never been much of a gift giver. Besides being terrible with remembering birthdays, I never seem to pay attention to what others want the way they seem to do for me,” he admitted. “Luna and the others have really helped me better myself in a lot of ways, but it all started with her and I want to show her how much I appreciate her.”
“Just throwing this out there,” an earth mare called. “What you said just now, about her making you better, keep that in mind for a card.” Her suggestion was met with soft murmurs of agreement.
“Thanks, um…” Thomas snapped his fingers.
“Wild Burst,” she finished. “No worries though. We never really talked before.”
“My sister has helped you grow as a person.” Celestia nodded sagely.
“Right,” Thomas affirmed. “And I don’t think expensive jewelry or a fancy dinner identical to the one we had a couple weeks ago really reflects that.”
“Be wary of setting the bar too high,” Celestia cautioned. “Lulu doesn’t want you to break the bank on a single present. I doubt your marefriend would be very appreciative of that, either. On a tangent, what did you get little Moony, anyway.”
“Grace suggested chocolate, so I got her a…” Thomas trailed off as the surrounding concubines shook their heads in disapproval. Oh crap! he thought in a panic. Was that not good enough!?
“You suck at secrets!” they began to jeer. “Don’t be surprised if she isn’t.” “Maybe she should keep the mute spell on indefinitely.”
“Really, now,” Sun Dancer scoffed. “All this worry about keeping the surprise and you go blabbing to the first mare who asks?” She tsked. “Shameful.”
Thomas’ shoulders slumped in disparagement as his eyes fell on Celestia. “Seriously?”
“Yes,” Celestia agreed stoically. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to employ a long-term mute spell.”
Thomas lowered and shook his head before chuckling under his breath. “You guys suck.”
“Yeah?” one asked. “We blow and slurp too. What’s your point?”
Thomas chortled harder. “If I might borrow Sun Dancer’s words, can we keep our eyes on the prize?”
“Yes,” Sun Dancer replied, never tearing her eyes from her book. “You may borrow, but only if you agree to pay interest.”
“You’ve helped Luna, too,” Celestia interjected, getting them back on track. “She’s really come out of her shell since you came into her life.”
“Phrasing! Boom!” a mare called before exchanging high-fives with another.
Celestia paid them no mind. “The point is that neither of you are exactly the same as when you both met. Perhaps you should do something that emphasizes your mutual growth?”
Thomas crossed his arms as he thought. “I like it, but I was never much of an abstract thinker.”
Celestia nodded. “Few are, but I suspect the added effort will make this gift all the more delicious.”
Thomas blinked as his head snapped up. “Delicious…”
Celestia grinned. “I take it you’ve had a thought?”
“A few,” Thomas answered distractedly. “I, uh, have to go.” He rose from his seat and made his way to the door. Before leaving, he stopped himself and turned around. “Oh, and thanks a lot.”
Thomas had been lounging naked on the sofa for an indiscernible amount of time, as was the nature of the dream world. His eyes shifted anxiously between the wide screen TV and the door his guests would enter through. Quickly he went over his mental checklist, which conveniently manifested as a tangible piece of paper. Everything seemed in order, but that knowledge did little to quell his anxiety. He went over the mental exercises Luna had taught him to stay lucid while dreaming, not wanting his worries to corrupt the day’s date.
With Hearth’s Warming just around the corner, Thomas decided that taking his ladies out on a special date would make for an excellent opening present. What could be more special, he reasoned, than a brief vacation to an alien world, but without the inherent risk of shady government organizations doing shady government things?
At long last the doorbell rang. Thomas sprang forth from his seat and bounded across the room, where upon he hastily pulled the door open. Beyond lay the nebulous space filled with aimlessly wandering bubbles, but the ponies standing on the other side of the door were of greater interest. He eagerly waved them in and marveled as he watched their naked bodies shrink to adjust to his dream reality. Luna remained the tallest one present, but she was only a head taller than Thomas. At the other end of the spectrum was Silver, who was a head shorter than her host. And lastly was Moonlight, who was about a couple inches smaller than her human stallion.
“Wow,” Moonlight said as she lingered in the doorway, staring in wonder at Thomas.
“I know, right,” he agreed with a silly grin. “Nice to not have to crane my head back for a change.”
“Speak for yourself,” Silver huffed. She’d folded her arms as she stepped into the living room, her eyes wandering curiously across the alien setting. “What’s that?”
“That would be the television, it is a device humans created both to entertain as well as educate and inform. It presents a series of moving pictures at high speeds. Other technologies may be connected to a television to expand its use to show a slideshow of pictures as well as other devices, such as gaming and the information superhighway connectivity,” Luna answered, trying to sound knowledgeable. “It transmits visual and audible signals via electronic mechanisms.”
“Truly?” Silver gently touched the edges of the black screen, mindful of its sleek reflective surface.
“Yup,” Thomas answered simply as he moved to join the others. Moonlight followed close beside him. “Everything here is a product of pure human ingenuity, brought to you by the imagination of an extraterrestrial alien.”
Silver regarded the human a moment before going back to examine the room. She’d taken the revelation of his origins rather well, agreeing that the secret needed to be kept to prevent public panic. “Strange,” she said as she ran a hand over the coffee table. “I would have thought an alien environment to look more… alien. Many of these objects look quite ordinary.”
“Our worlds do seem to have a most peculiar quantity of similarities,” Luna commented. She turned suddenly to face the unicorn, her breasts bouncing along the way. “Moonlight. What do you have to say?”
Moonlight flinched at being caught off guard. “Sorry. I guess I’m still coming to terms with how big my stallion is.”
“I think it’s actually you guys who are smaller,” Thomas noted as his eyes darted from mare to mare. “Speaking of which, if I were to go into your dreams, would we all be about the same height?”
“Enough about our height,” Silver growled irately. “I want to know more about the human world.”
“Verily!” Luna cheered. “Where shall we begin?”
Moonlight possessively clung to Thomas’ side, her breasts wrapping around his arm. “Thomas. Where exactly is this place?”
“This? This is my old house,” he replied matter-of-factly.
“This is where you grew up?” Silver asked.
“Nah. When I was little, my parents and I lived at my grandmother’s place. We moved around a little after that until ending up here.” He waved his hand in presentation. “It’s no castle, but it was home.”
Thomas lead the mares from room to room, repeating his first tour with Luna in showing off his collections of old toys, movies, and video games. Silver hopped into Thomas’ well-made dream bed and bounced idly. Luna explained the complexity of human video games and how she would come here to play when the day was proving stressful. Moonlight found herself distracted by old pictures of Thomas in his youth.
“Your family?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Thomas walked up beside her and pressed his shoulder against hers. “That’s from a family reunion at a lake that we went to sometimes,” he pointed at a picture of a six-year-old him riding with his dad on a jet ski. “I remember one time we were out riding, I was having so much fun I didn’t even notice when dad went flying off until like a minute had passed,” he laughed nostalgically.
Moonlight touched the glass covering Thomas’ father’s face, a thoughtful look on her own. “He’s quite the handsome stallion.”
“Ya think so?” Thomas asked.
“I know so.” Moonlight nuzzled his cheek.
“Yes, yes, very nice.” Silver tapped her hoof impatiently. “But I thought we were going to go out exploring.”
The pleading looks of the mares ultimately proved irresistible as Thomas lead the way out the front door. They emerged into the suburbs at around mid-day. Luna and Silver reflexively shielded their eyes, despite the light being perfect for all to see comfortably. Recalling his old neighborhood, Thomas led his naked ladies up the road. Silver and Luna dashed this way and that as they explored while Moonlight was content to take in the sights from the comfortable position of Thomas’s side.
Not wanting his lady to miss out, Thomas rushed ahead to the latest house Luna had broken into. It was all so incredibly detailed and lifelike, despite the fact that the human had never set foot in this particular house before. Luna explained that dream logic was borrowing from memories of other houses he’d seen, either in person or on television, and approximated their settings to fill the gaps in this or any other area he was unfamiliar with. Essentially, the details of all unvisited areas would be generated automatically in such a way as to keep things interesting. By the third break-in, Moonlight had finally loosened her grip on her man, but still refused to stray too far.
Upon spotting a van colored the same shade as Luna’s coat, Silver insisted they take this human vehicle for a ride. Thomas, feeling nonchalant about adding grand theft auto to his crimes of public indecency and breaking and entering, volunteered to drive. Luna called shotgun and clamored into the seat beside Thomas, leaving a mildly disappointed Moonlight to sit in the back with Silver. All three women watched in fascination as Thomas went through the motions of starting up the car and setting off to the next stop on their adventure.
Traffic was hardly a problem as Thomas effortlessly swerved through cars on the street. His ladies had figured out how to roll down the windows, sticking their heads out like dogs to get a better view and feel the wind in their faces. Why this appealed so much to natural flyers like Silver and Luna was beyond Thomas as he turned in to their first stop, the grocery store. The four explorers disembarked and entered the store to resume their exploration.
In addition to being naked in a public facility, Thomas felt a further thrill of freedom as he snatched a broccoli stalk from the display, took a single bite, and set it back. The vegetable was only mildly bitter, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that he now had the freedom to do as he liked, to indulge in every petty fantasy he’d ever imagined without consequence. Thankfully the mares were there to make sure he didn’t step too far out of line, even if they were momentarily preoccupied with examining the other humans.
The people in the dream were comparable to NPCs. They mechanically went about their activities, paying little mind to the players. Some spoke when pressed, but they all sounded like second rate pre-recorded lines.
“So many stallions,” Silver awed as humans disinterestedly walked past her. She stepped out in front of a portly Hispanic man, causing him to stop and begin examining the spices to the left as Silver examined him. “There are so few colors.”
“Humans have ethnicity instead of tribe,” Luna explained, drawing from Thomas’ dream memories. “Their differences, as far as I can tell, are largely cosmetic, literally skin deep. To be honest, it seems as though breeds of dog have more substantial differences than breeds of human.”
Moonlight was examining a human of her own, a thin black woman. She ran her hands along the woman’s body, pulling her clothes off as the woman shifted her body to make the former unicorn’s task easier. The now naked black woman stood still, staring blankly as Moonlight stood beside her for comparison. “It’s… just so amazing how similar we are,” she said in awe.
“You’re telling me,” Thomas chuckled as he watched Moonlight cup her breast and compare it to the black woman’s. Moonlight’s next object of interest was the woman’s relatively plump posterior. Thomas observed Moonlight’s body, but found no traces of arousal as she groped the other woman’s various private areas. Her actions, it seemed, were motivated purely by innocent nonsexual curiosity.
Luna took to the air, flying without flapping her wings as she took in a bird’s eye view of the store. “Foals!” she called out, causing the mares to drop what they were doing and rush to investigate. Thomas hurried to follow, laughing as he compared their excitement to children in a toy store.
The ‘foals’ in question were a Caucasian boy and girl. They looked to be seven and nine respectively and were standing idle while their mother picked out cereal. They paid no mind to the nearly ear-shattering squeal from the mares. Thomas arrived in time to find his mares fawning all over the kids, commenting on their adorableness. However, like children in a toy store, they were soon distracted by the next object of interest.
For Silver, it was the meat department as she soon pressed her face into the glass shielding the frozen fish. Luna took back to the air to continue her surveillance. Moonlight went off to explore the toy aisle. Every now and then a mare would call Thomas’ name, forcing him to come and answer their questions about this and that.
“Look here,” Moonlight giggled excitedly as she gestured at a male human who bore a remarkable resemblance to Thomas’ father.
“I can see that,” Thomas replied as the unicorn drew nearer to the man’s face.
“I like his moustache. It looks very dignified.”
“Really?” With a little concentration, Thomas grew a moustache of his own. “What do ya think?”
Giggling, Moonlight began kissing along the human’s upper lip, making sure he knew her target was the facial hair. “It tickles.”
“Hey. I want to feel.” Silver spoke up as she came around the corner and pulled Thomas away to have her turn.
As she watched Silver and Moonlight begin bickering over who had rights to Thomas’ fuzzy lip, the Princess of the Night felt herself struck with inspiration. “Ladies,” she called from above before coming to a landing, ending the spat. “Thomas’ self-alteration has given me an idea. If his dream wishes us to be human sized, and we are to explore the human world, would it not follow to carry this to its natural conclusion?”
“What’s she talking about?” Thomas asked from his position of being pulled between two mares, either arm wedged between their respective cleavage.
Luna’s mouth moved, but Thomas heard no words. However, judging by the way Silver and Moonlight’s ears were twitching, he guessed they had no such trouble.
“I think it’s a fine idea,” Silver cheered. “When in Roam, as they say.”
“Agreed. That sounds like it could be fun,” Moonlight added, seizing the opportunity to pull Thomas free of Silver.
“Was there just some meeting where everyone agreed to talk around me like I wasn’t even-” Thomas’ words were cut short as Luna’s horn lit with a bright flash, momentarily blinding him. When his vision returned, he stared in shock as his eyes went from mare to… woman!?
Just as Luna’s spell had given him the appearance of a pony so long ago, the Princess’ latest spell had turned all three mares into humans.
“This is… oh wow!” Silver gasped as she ran her hands down her now hairless stomach, shivering at the sudden loss of insulation. She’d been turned into a Caucasian, which probably made sense given her Prench heritage. She had very soft features, making her look extra delicate. Her hair was still white and her overall figure remained unchanged, just like the others. However, that did not stop her from turning around to get a full look at her now furless skin.
Luna made a sound of contentment as she surveyed her work and new shape. “Quite nice.” She was as tall and well-endowed as ever. Her mane hung limply against her back as she twisted her body, watching the way it swayed in amusement. She was also Caucasian with pale white skin that looked like she’d never seen the light of day. Her hands ran over her hairless body, causing her skin to bristle beneath the strange sensation.
Moonlight’s eyes were wide in wonder as her hands ran over her face, testing the smallness of her non-muzzle. She flinched when her fingers brushed over her forehead without resistance, and began rubbing at the spot her horn should have been. Moonlight’s features were harder to place with her dark skin, thin lips, and slightly squinted eyes. Apparently her lineage didn’t quite match to any specific ethnic identification of Earth.
Thomas continued to stare dumbly between the mares-turned-women; naked women at that. Weeks of adjusting to pony nudity culture seemed to be thrown out the window as Thomas had never actually stood in the presence of a naked woman, having never actually seen one up close since he was very little. It didn’t help that the mares were still exploring their bodies. Goosebumps ran along their bare skin as they touched and caressed their curves. Moonlight had taken to sitting on a recently materialized bench so as to better play with her new toes. Luna and Silver, on the other hand, had recently discovered each other and had begun testing the feel of each other’s bodies.
“Thomas,” Moonlight spoke, startling the born human back to his senses. She blushed heavily as a flat smile grew across her lips. “C-could you help me with something?”
“I… sure?” Thomas agreed uncertainly and sat beside his girlfriend on the bench. “Wh-what’d you need?”
Moonlight scooted away from him and lifted her foot for his inspection. “I was just wondering, um, do these look alright?”
Thomas had never been much of a foot fancier, but he’d be lying if the tiny digits now wriggling in his face weren’t the cutest things he’d ever seen. Tentatively he took hold of the appendage, causing Moonlight to flinch. When she nodded that she was okay, Thomas began carefully exploring her foot. He manipulated her toes, bent the newly formed joints and bones this way and that, and discovered exactly how ticklish she was. However, as Thomas’ eyes roamed over the mare’s new womanly body, he found his hands drifting slowly over her ankle and down her smooth leg. She shuddered, but gave no sign of protest.
“What’re you two doing?” Silver scolded, causing the lovebirds to spasm in surprise before pulling away and sitting in an upright and dignified position. The former bat mare suppressed a chuckle at the display. “You two can cuddle any time. We still have some exploring to do!”
Giving in to Silver’s emphatic insistence, the group continued their exploration of Thomas’ memories. They took turns driving as Luna channeled the knowledge into the former mares. The group explored toy stores, a post office, a bar, two hardware stores, several clothing outlets, and much more before arriving at a mall. There Thomas directed them to the place he’d been eager to show them since the beginning.
“A theatre?” Moonlight asked. “Is there a show you’d like us to see?”
“Sort of,” Thomas admitted as he examined the posters. Each was of a movie or show he’d seen countless times and committed to memory, even without the aid of magic.
“I still fail to see why we cannot go to an amusement park,” Silver complained.
“Pace yourself, my dear,” Luna soothed. “You do not want to burn out on your first trip.”
“Sorry,” Thomas apologized. “I promise we’ll do an amusement park next time, but I’m pretty sure you’ll like this.” He’d settled on a film and paid for the ticket. “Trust me.”
The women followed Thomas into the theater, still naked as they took their seats. The chairs were recliners with retractable armrests, allowing the group to sit as they pleased. Thomas reclined back as Moonlight laid herself out over him. Both parties enjoyed the way she could rest her full weight without fear of hurting him. Despite the familiar sensation of the mare’s back against him, Thomas maneuvered his erection away from her rear. It would still be a distraction, but one they were well accustomed to as he wrapped his arms around her belly. Silver did much the same with Luna as the credits began to roll.
‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’
“Are you serious!?” Silver excitedly asked as she sat up from her Luna chair. “Are we really going to watch the Halloween?”
Thomas smirked as Moonlight gazed back at him with equal excitement. “The ride was inspired by only the opening song,” he whispered as the narration began. “There is so much more.”
**********
Time passes differently in the dream realm. None knew this better than Luna who had made an art of exploiting this fact in her many ventures into the dreams of others. Hours passed as the Princess and her lovers indulged in Thomas’ memories of movies and shows playing out on the big screen. The reality beneath their hooves, and also feet, proved equally malleable as shelves containing old VHS copies of these films appeared to make choosing the next viewing more convenient.
Thomas had insisted they at least try and watch things in the relative order they were made in; Tom and Jerry should come before Game of Thrones and such to build an appreciation for how far the medium had come. However, he’d been outvoted on many occasions. Silver just had to watch Disney movies, Moonlight begged to see the next episode of Fullmetal Alchemist, and Luna, with the authority befitting her station, demanded more Godzilla.
Even though they’d gone horrendously out of order, Thomas was happy. He’d always been content just sitting back and watching movies with those he’d cared about. When his few friends had come over, they’d always binged some of their favorites. In college he’d found quiet spaces to watch things online. And after he’d grown and his schedule often conflicted with that of his parents, making it harder to spend time together, he’d savored the nights when they’d either watch their favorite show on TV or pull up something online and rig it to the TV. It was these activities that he remembered the most, sitting contentedly with his loved ones while they vegged out in front of a screen; and now he was making new such memories with his new family.
“Please tell me we’re doing this again tomorrow,” Moonlight pleaded as she sat up from her seat on Thomas. Even in the dream realm, it was still possible to feel exhausted, and the females had finally succumbed. “Because that was amazing.”
“All those stories,” Silver marveled. “And you’re saying there’s more?”
Thomas grinned. “What we saw barely scratches the surface,” he said to the amazement of the others. “Some shows proved so popular that they have over a hundred episodes. Hell, if we stayed here for two weeks straight binging nothing but this anime called One Piece, we wouldn’t even make it half way.”
Luna blinked in shock. “How can any story be stretched to such a length?”
“Because the guy who writes it just keeps thinking up new things to stretch it out,” Thomas laughed. “And his readers love him for it. Last time I checked, there were very nearly a thousand episodes, and even then it’s implied the story was only half over.” Thomas began to sober as he heard his own words.
“Thomas?” Moonlight asked with concern.
“I’ll never see how it ends,” he said with a half-smile.
Sensing where this was going, Luna altered the area to resemble Thomas’ bedroom, modified so that all four of them could fit on the bed.
“My parents, too,” Thomas whispered somberly. “My family… I’ll never see any of them ever again.”
Before he knew it, the human was quickly engulfed in the familiar fur of his loves as they embraced him. They’d reverted back to pony form, that which he was more familiar with snuggling. Suffice to say it was comforting, but did not fully distract him from his woes. His parents, extended family, and the few friends he’d made and ultimately lost track of. They were gone forever.
Of course Thomas had known this and believed he’d come to terms with it a long time ago. However, something about the shows he’d never be able to finish somehow opened the old wounds and tears began to flow. It wasn’t just the sadness of his lost life, but the shame of what had reminded him of it.
“Show?” he growled angrily under his breath as he felt tears run down his cheeks. “Of all the things to get me worked up, it’s stupid, goddamn shows?” He buried his head into a familiar set of cleavage. Even in his distracted state, he could recognize it was Moonlight’s. “What’s wrong with me?”
“Memory is a fickle thing,” Moonlight answered. “I was young when my grand-dame died. I didn’t understand what death was, even at her funeral,” she sighed, holding back her own tears. “It wasn’t until I found my favorite story book, the one she always read to me, that it finally hit me that she’d never-” she choked back a sob.
“I still see reminders of all those I’ve lost,” Luna said, sounding as though she’d lose control at any moment. “I see it in the faces of their descendants, the little mannerisms that somehow managed to survive through the generations. It still hurts to this day, and it always will.”
“How?” Thomas asked.
Luna nodded, not needing him to elaborate. “I remember the good times we shared.”
As if on cue, ‘Do You Remember Me’ from Snoopy Come Home began to play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFMB12MqvjY That did it. In an instant, all vestiges of self-control melted away as the four began to bawl into one another, each recalling past friends and loved ones they’d never see again, and relishing in the empathy shared by present company. No words were spoken as the four merely tightened their grip on whoever they could, pulling them desperately close for fear of losing them again. They cried and cried and until the dream decided they’d cried enough, though they lingered in each other’s embrace.
The moment passed with time, like all things inevitably do. However, as the group tentatively loosened their grip, they continued to touch. They smiled at one another, grateful for the shared experience as they lingered on the bed. Smiles and understanding were shared freely, and Thomas knew this would be a moment he would treasure for the rest of his days.
“Seriously!?” Thomas gasped as he looked at the numbers presented to him. “You’ve sold that many units?”
“I most certainly did,” Game Plan answered with barely contained glee. “I’ve had to double my workforce just to keep up with the demand.”
“I had a feeling these would sell well,” Silver began, “but this just boggles the mind.”
Thomas and company had met up with an earth stallion named Game Plan, owner of a small toy store called ‘Plan to Game’. The meeting was to discuss the latest sales reports of Twister, Canterlot’s latest and most popular game.
“Looks like you were right,” Moonlight admitted. “All we had to do was namedrop Halloween and the customers went wild.”
“I’ll say,” Game Plan chuckled, clutching his sides. “We’ve nearly made more in the last few weeks than our net income for the last three years combined. My herd mate’s got her eye on this nice place up the road. It’s vacant, but also twice the size of our current store,” he giggled like a schoolgirl. “We’re moving up in the world, ma!”
“I feel safe in saying we are all just delighted to hear that,” Silver informed as she picked up the papers. “However, I’m afraid I’m not terribly familiar with this manner of form. Could you be a dear and direct me to where it describes our cut?”
“Oh,” Game Plan collected himself. “Of course. Here ya go.”
Thomas stared mouth agape at the spot the stallion had pointed. “And all of that in just a few weeks.”
“No,” Game Plan crowed as he flipped the forms over for those near the back. “That figure doesn’t include out-of-town orders. This does.”
The trio beheld the new number set before them. However, while Thomas and Moonlight were busy gawking, Silver was running her finger over the spreadsheet, muttering as she added up the numbers.
“Something wrong?” Game Plan asked.
Silver made a thoughtful sound. “It might be a trick of the light, but I fear these numbers are simply not adding up for me.”
Game Plan frowned and leaned over. “Really? Where?”
“Silver?” Thomas asked in concern.
“One moment, Thomas,” Silver informed as she guided the store owner through the spread sheet. “Here, and here too. You see what I mean?”
With a frown, Game Plan retrieved a piece of scratch paper and began adding up the numbers one at a time so Silver could follow. In the end, he came out with the same total as the spread sheet. “See,” he said hopefully. “It all adds up.”
“Even so,” Silver continued, still wearing a concerned frown as she gestured at Thomas. “My friend here was taken in by your story, a struggling family of earth ponies trying to make it in a predominately unicorn city, and Canterlot at that. His exact words were ‘give the little guy a fighting chance’. And while I’m certain there was no ill intent on your part, I would feel more comfortable if my family accountant had a look at these numbers, if that’s alright with you?” It was clear from her tone that she wasn’t asking.
Now visibly apprehensive, Game Plan gave a weak nod. “O-of course. Bring in anypony you like, but I’m telling you the numbers add up.”
“I’m sure they will,” Silver said with a gracious bow. “Until then, we shall accept the amount you have presented to us.”
The check and a copy of the forms were handed over and the trio departed after some final well wishes.
“Was that really necessary,” Thomas asked.
“Getting an outside and expert perspective on financial matters?” she asked back. “I cannot imagine the answer being anything but ‘yes’.”
“She has a point,” Moonlight interjected. “He had a pretty convincing sob story, but you shouldn’t let that blind you. Businesses is a cutthroat, well, business, and you can’t let sympathies cloud your judgment.”
Thomas frowned. “Okay, maybe I’d gotten a bit of a red flag when he started talking about how his son had just gotten out of the hospital, but the kid had a cast back when we were just scoping the place out,” he relented. “And everything else seemed legit.”
“We’ll know for certain when my family accountant arrives,” Silver replied evenly. “I do not want to run the risk of interception if we send the forms by magic.” She held up the papers for emphasis. “I do not think he was necessarily lying either, and this may just be a typo. However, better safe than sorry.”
**********
Two days to Hearth’s Warming
A sizable tree had been set up in the throne room, which had been closed until the end of the holiday. There the royal presents had all been laid out for everyone’s viewing pleasure. At least, that would be the case if the house guards, a mix of lunar and solar, weren’t currently engaged in a standoff between Celestia and some of her concubines.
“Just a peek?” Talon pleaded. “I just want to hold one of mine and maybe give it a little shake.”
“No!” a guard answered defiantly, his spear drawn and pointed at the griffon’s chest as his fellows backed him up. “By royal decree, there will be no peeks, peeps, ganders, low level scans, or anything else until the designated hour.”
“Come now, sergeant,” Celestia cooed teasingly as she ran her fingers through her waving mane. “Couldn’t you make a little exception, just this once?”
Nervously the guard adjusted his spear to point, not directly at the Princess, but in her general direction. “I’m sorry, Your Highness. This may be a royal decree, but my orders come directly from Captain Armor. You’ll have to take it up with him.”
“Don’t bother,” Cadence said disparagingly as she strode into the room and approached her aunt. “I just spent the last hour persuading him, and he still refused.”
“You?” Celestia asked in disbelief. “He refused you?”
Cadence nodded mournfully.
“Did you try that thing with your-”
“Yes!” Cadence cut the other alicorn off before she could finish, her cheeks flushing. The Princess of Love was arguably as far from being a prude as one could be without going full slut, but there were things that even she was uncomfortable discussing in front of strangers. “I tried every trick in my arsenal, but he still refused.”
Celestia regarded her niece. “I don’t know where to be impressed, or terrified.”
Cadence spread her wings and lightly flapped them, creating a cool breeze. “I know how it makes me feel,” she admitted, her cheeks flushing even redder, especially when she saw the way her aunt was looking at her. It was the same look of triumph Celestia wore whenever any of her students accomplished something. As their teacher, she felt entitled to share in their victories. Cadence seizing upon Celestia’s romantic advice and finding the love of her life was no exception. “Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything,” Celestia teased in a sing-song voice.
“Fucker!”
All eyes turned on the swearer and the following thud. Talon had found herself pinned several burly looking guards, and not in the way she liked.
“Gah!” the griffon grunted. “Watch where you’re digging that knee, jackass.”
“Impressive,” Celestia noted nonchalantly. “Taking advantage of the distraction to sneak past the guards was quite clever.”
“Former RGR, remember?” Talon huffed. “Can ya get these guys off me, now. Better hurry or I’ll be tempted to show this mare what it’s like to have a knee guard grounded into her privates.”
Celestia ordered the prisoner be set free and Talon snapped her beak aggressively at the mare she’d decided to be the focus of her aggression. The Princess gave a carefree smile as she imagined all the ways her dear griffon would seek revenge, but that was for another time. For now, the taller alicorn set a gentle hand on her niece’s shoulder and escorted her out of the throne room. It was nearing lunch, after all.
**********
It was the evening shift and Thomas was circling along the perimeter of the presents, looking past the towering guards as he eyed the multi-colored packages.
“What are you thinking?” Moonlight asked as she followed beside him.
“That’s quite an impressive pile,” Thomas remarked with a grin. “Reminds me of Christmas back home.”
“Tell me about it?” Moonlight asked quietly.
Thomas nodded and they moved away from the eavesdropping guards. “My grandmother’s house was huge,” he recounted nostalgically. “We went there every year for Christmas since it was the only one that could handle the whole family. Even when I got a job in retail, my folks and I still managed to make it for a few days each year and see that big pile.”
“How big was your family?” Moonlight asked.
“Big,” Thomas replied. “Last time I was there, there were four generations of, like, thirty people.”
Moonlight smiled softly. “Is that an unusual size for human families?”
Thomas chortled. “I’d say about ten is above average. My grandma had a lot of kids, most of which went on to start families of their own.”
“Not counting grandparents, I’d say the average size of a family at Hearth’s Warming is a little over ten,” Moonlight informed. “Big families make the holiday better, in my opinion.”
“Preaching to the choir,” Thomas said as he eyed the presents from afar. “Remind me again, when was your day off?”
“Two days after Hearth’s Warming,” she reminded. “I’ll head to my folks’ place and spend the day with them.” She grabbed hold of his shoulder and pulled him in close. “We both will, won’t we?”
Thomas smiled back at her. “Do I actually have a choice?”
“Considering you’re my stallion, if I have to suffer through my family, then you do to.”
“Duely noted,” Thomas nodded. “Oh. And before I forget, did that… thing arrive?”
Moonlight grinned her affirmation.
**********
The day before Hearth’s Warming
“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor,” Thomas warned as he sat on the edge of his and Moonlight’s bed, watching the mare pace to and fro.
“I cannot help it,” Silver admitted as her wings fidgeted at her sides. “I just keep wondering if she will like it or not.”
With a sigh, Thomas hopped from the bed and placed a hand reassuringly over Silver’s shoulder, holding her close. “We’ve been practicing all week. Performance anxiety is perfectly normal, but if you keep this up then I’m gonna start getting antsy and then no one’s gonna sleep.”
Moonlight set a hand under her chin as she eyed her friend and coltfriend. “No offense, but since when are you the voice of reason?”
Thomas smiled serenely. “Since I’ve decided we’ve all done everything we can and there’s nothing else to do but leave it up to the fates.”
Silver began to snicker. “I swear your words almost sound wise.”
“Love you too,” Thomas answered, followed by a kiss to her cheek.
Silver exhaled serenely as she pondered Thomas’ words. “We’ve done everything we can,” she stated resolutely. “All that’s left is to wait.”
“Nope,” Thomas said flatly and released the mare.
Silver puzzled as she watched Thomas walk past the bed and over to the cabinet.
“Waiting is boring,” Thomas informed as he fished through the box. “We need to do something to make time pass faster.”
As Thomas bent over and propped his rear up to search deeper, Silver and Moonlight exchanged knowing smiles. They knew perfectly well where the other’s eyes were looking. The only thing they didn’t know was whether Thomas’ shakes were deliberate.
“Ah ha!” the human proclaimed as he held out the spoils of his search, a rolled up matt and a very familiar spinner. “Found ‘em. Now we can-”
“Hello?” a male voice called, followed by a knock to the door. “Is anypony in there?”
Thomas felt his pulse spike as he turned an eye to Moonlight, needing to know where she was. Thankfully, the guard had already sprung into position between him and the door. Quickly she levitated a few pieces of armor onto her bare form, bracing herself for the worst should he try something.
“Hello?” the stallion called again. “Auntie said we had to have a talk before Hearth’s Warming.”
Frowning as she glanced between the still closed door and her friends, Silver stepped forward and asked, “Prince Blueblood?”
“The one and only,” he answered boastfully. An awkward pause followed. “You know, as much fun as it is to talk to a door, I’d really rather appreciate it if you would let me in so we can talk like civilized ponies.”
“It’s quite alright,” another stallion spoke up, sounding quite old.
“Sir Kibitz?” Silver asked.
“Indeed,” the stallion replied. “There are some things Her Highness wishes you to understand before this year’s Hearth’s Warming. And do not fret about the Prince trying anything untoward. I was asked to accompany him as a chaperone of sorts. You have my word, and that of Princess Celestia, that he will be on his best behavior.”
Moonlight looked back at Thomas, her eyes asking for his decision.
Thomas wanted to say ‘no’ to decline the Prince’s request as politely as possible and just make up some excuse to put this off indefinitely. However, as he thought, he remembered his discussion with Grace about how much he’d grown. If he made some promise to see Blueblood later, a promise his procrastinating past self would never intend to honor, then that would be like a step backwards, wouldn’t it? He’d be the same timid, conflict avoiding little worm he’d always been. Steeling his nerves and reminding himself that he was among friends, Thomas readied himself for his answer.
“Fine,” he called out. “You may come in.”
The door creaked open and the two stallions entered. Blueblood was as immaculate and nude as ever. Unfortunately, despite Thomas’ internal encouragement, the sight of the impressively masculine stallion still left him feeling small and intimidated. Beside him stood a much shorter unicorn stallion with bushy eyebrows and an impressive moustache. His gray mane and tail were tied back in ponytails. He wore a dark red coat with a gray cravat and undersized glasses upon his snout. He wore no bottoms, leaving his stopwatch cutie mark visible on his pale coat.
“Hello all. Thank you for agreeing to this little meetup,” Kibitz greeted formally and motioned to the table and chairs in the corner. “Might we have a seat?”
With a hesitant nod, the five of them made for the table where all but one sat. Moonlight stood defensively behind Thomas, her posture showing she was ready to jump at a moment’s notice.
“Very well,” Kibitz said with a nod as he made himself comfortable. “If we’re ready, I do believe the Prince has something to say.” He gestured at the white stallion.
“Indeed,” Blueblood said as he brought his hands up and light clapped them together before setting them on the table. “Let’s get the obvious out of the way first, shall we?” he asked, but did not wait for a reply. “I can only imagine you,” he addressed to Thomas, “took a fair amount of offense from our last few meetings.”
Thomas narrowed his eyes on the Prince as he gave a curt nod.
“Quite,” Blueblood acknowledged with a casual smile. “Well, while you may be expecting some sort of apology for my behavior, I’m afraid to say that I have none to offer.”
“Excuse me?” Moonlight growled.
“Sir Moonlight,” Blueblood continued with an amused smirk. “I will no more apologize for our last encounters than you would for assaulting somepony with ill intent to your lovely little charge, there,” he said confidently, showing no trace of remorse or concern.
“You threatened to,” Thomas stammered, unable to bring himself to say the exact word. “To take me to your room and-”
“Of course I did,” Blueblood laughed. “That’s my job.”
That was not an answer Luna’s harem expected to hear, as was apparent by their expressions.
“It’s your job to take stallions against their will?” Silver asked.
“In a manner,” Blueblood said as smugly as ever. “One of my duties involves testing the resolve of those Auntie takes an interest in.”
Kibitz raised his hand. “Allow me to clarify. I shouldn’t need to remind you, but Princess Luna was in a considerably weakened state upon her return. Her purification by the Elements of Harmony left her quite vulnerable; physically, mentally, and emotionally. The attendants preceding the induction of Sir Thomas were meant to act as a familiar element to Princess Luna, but there was never much hope for them actually becoming concubines. In fact, had Sir Thomas not shown up when he did, Private Moonlight Shield was slated to be Princess Luna’s first, as she was the nearest pony Princess Celestia could identify as having a prior connection.”
Moonlight blinked in surprise at that. “Me?” She exchanged puzzled looks with the others.
“Indeed,” Kibitz nodded. “It was all quite planned out. Alas Sir Thomas’ appearance and subsequent bonding with Princess Luna, as the young ponies say, threw the entire plan out of whack. Lady Attentive and myself have been working diligently to adjust ever since.”
“Private Moonlight,” Blueblood spoke up. “I trust you recall news of my less-than-private breakup with my harem some months back?”
The mare nodded. “My father seemed to think the whole thing was planned out to keep the papers distracted from Thomas.”
The Prince smirked as if he were proud of himself. “And did it ever,” he crowed jovially. “But really, the papers didn’t do those suck ups justice. The things they said,” he snickered, “made even Auntie blush. Now that’s an accomplishment.”
As Thomas and Moonlight’s minds reeled at realizing what Moonlight’s family had said about the stallion was true, Silver was feeling a little lost.
“Just to be clear,” the bat interjected. “You deliberately contrived a conspiracy for the purpose of distracting the public from Thomas?”
“Contrived is such a dirty word,” Blueblood dismissed. “I prefer to think of it as performance art for the security of the crown,” he said with a chuckle.
Thomas shook his head in disbelief. “But then, if you were just following orders, then those other times were-”
“A test conceived by Auntie?” Blueblood finished. “Yes. It was uncertain how well you and the Private would get along,” he explained, gesturing at Moonlight, “especially given your difference of species, not to mention cultural values. So I was asked to come in and perform a simple test to see how well the two of you were, well, bonding,” he finished with a casual shrug.
“So, we were being manipulated?” Thomas asked in growing anger.
“Tested,” Blueblood corrected, sounding much more serious. “Albeit an unconventional test, but one befitting unconventional circumstances.”
“It was a valid concern at the time, especially given your description of human monogamous values,” Kibitz cut in. “Thankfully your willingness to assimilate to Equestrian culture managed to simplify matters.”
Thomas narrowed his eyes on the old stallion. “Simplify? What would have happened if things weren’t so simple?”
“We would not have asked Princess Luna to choose between yourself and the harem, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Kibitz assured. “If your monogamous beliefs proved too stubborn, Princess Cadence would have been called in to act as a marriage counselor.” The stallion adjusted his tiny glasses. “The dear considers therapy a natural extension of her love magic, bringing ponies together and helping them stay together.”
Thomas blinked. “I guess that’s better than what I was imagining, but I still don’t-”
“And what, might I ask, were you imagining?” Kibitz interrupted, sounding faintly offended. “Because if you were thinking that Princess Cadence would actually use her magic to manipulate your feelings for the crown’s convenience; I should warn you that she absolutely loathes that rumor.”
Thomas was taken aback by the subdued anger in Kibitz’ tone, all while Blueblood seemed quite amused by it.
“It’s still manipulation, though,” Moonlight spoke up. “You’ve been… testing us, all of us,” she gestured between herself and her loves, “just to-”
“Ensure your compatibility,” Kibitz interrupted once more, adjusting his glasses. “If you’ll recall, the concubine application system is littered with tests to ensure not only loving devotion to the Princess, but also to your fellow concubines. Because of the inherent differences between each applicant, each test is carefully crafted to match the individual.”
“Normally that’s the job of the senior concubine,” Blueblood added, fixing his gaze on Thomas. “However, given the unusual nature of your induction into the role, recent tests have needed the cooperation of many different departments, including myself,” the Prince said, turning his chin up in a less than modest pose. His eyes then turned on Silver. “For instance: Auntie Lulu may have had her suspicions, but I’m the one who had you pegged as a dom from day one.”
Silver blinked her surprise, unable to give a response. This was a lot for all of them to take in.
Yet amidst it all, one question managed to bubble its way up through Thomas’ mind. “Why?”
Blueblood tilted his head curiously. “Why what?”
“Why are you doing this?”
Blueblood pursed his lips. “Me personally, or do you mean the crown?” he asked with a wave of his hand. “To answer the former, it’s simply because I like it. I thrive on negative attention,” he admitted proudly. “Some might consider it unhealthy, but it made me a prime candidate for the crown’s semi-official distraction. And when Auntie Celestia heard of my cutie mark and talent for throwing things off course,” he sat up a little and gestured down to his flank, “then she began my training to keep prying eyes distracted while she kept the kingdom on course.
“It’s funny when you think about it,” he laughed. “Cadi specializes in helping ponies see what’s right in front of them, while I do the opposite.” The Prince leaned back in his seat. “It’s not a glamorous job, like that of a guard or concubine,” he said with the faintest hint of resentment, “but it’s mine. I serve the crown as faithfully as any other, doing whatever is asked of me. And if that means seeing my name in the headlines, then so much more the better.”
“So Luna knew?” Moonlight asked. “That night when you came in to Luna’s chambers and demanded Thomas go with you, she knew?”
Blueblood shrugged. “In as much as she knew Shining Armor was Captain of the royal guard.”
“Talon too?” Thomas asked.
“As part of the test,” Kibitz began. “She was instructed to keep silent on Prince Blueblood’s position and intentions.” He adjusted his glasses again. “In the months following this order, I was made quite aware of the wren’s impressive capacity for vulgarities,” he said with a shudder. “She was never fond of secrets.”
Blueblood snickered. “I managed to save a transcript if you’re interested. But I warn you, you might never be able to look at ice cream the same again.”
“So why now?” Silver asked, straightening in her seat. “Why do you choose to inform us now?”
“Because Hearth’s Warming is upon us,” Kibitz informed matter-of-factly. “And while your relationship began under less than ideal circumstances, Princess Celestia hopes that the truth will help you two make amends and at least behave civilly.”
A long pause followed with the members of Luna’s harem unable to think of anything to say. Thomas and Moonlight were a stunned, unable to decide whether or not they should feel hurt at what they’d just learned. Silver kept her eyes focused on the two stallions. Kibitz’ expression was unreadable, but Blueblood looked entirely bored. It seemed the situation had lost all entertainment value for him.
“Can we assume,” Silver began, “that while we are privy to the nature of Blueblood’s position, we may not inform others?”
“You assume correctly,” Kibitz nodded. “It is vital that the Prince’s duties remain top secret. If any but the Princesses’ most trusted were to learn of this, it would be devastating to the crown.”
“And you never know when my services might be needed once more,” Blueblood added suggestively.
“We won’t,” Thomas deadpanned.
“Pardon?” Blueblood asked.
Thomas’ voice was devoid of his earlier intimidation. “The things you said to me…” he shuddered. “I’m not certain I’ll ever be able to forgive them. If I’m the senior concubine, and I’m supposed to be the one making these dumb tests, then I can safely say we won’t be putting anyone else through what you put me through.” And though the human was aware of the eyes upon him, judging him, he knew this was something he couldn’t back down from.
The mares stared in quiet awe at Thomas’ assertive tone and resolute expression. For a race where the females were generally regarded as the more dominant, these qualities were rarely witnessed in males. Naturally, their semi-exotic nature not only impressed the mares, but left them feeling a little tingly. They exchanged knowing looks and understood they’d have to make Thomas talk like this again.
With the harem distracted, Kibitz and Blueblood briefly exchanged knowing glances of their own.
“If there is nothing else,” Kibitz resumed as he stood, “I will be off to inform Lady Talon and let her know that this particular secret is out in the open.” He bowed his head lightly as he and Blueblood began their exit.
“And I think I’ll go tell cousin Cadi,” Blueblood added with a faint quiver in his voice. “See if I can’t get another rise out of her.” Thankfully the door shut before the harem could see the results of the Prince’s excitement over messing with his cousin.
Roughly five minutes later, Talon burst into the room and began apologizing profusely to her friends, vowing to do whatever it took to earn back their trust.
**********
Hearth’s Warming
It was a scene that would look most welcome in a typical Christmas special, assuming one could ignore all the naked anthropomorphic myths. Ponies of every age, tribe, and color had swarmed the throne room. The concubines had brought in their families to partake in the holiday spirit. Combined with the Princesses’ most trusted servants and their families, this left the throne room nearly packed. It was a cacophony of noise as adults tried to have civil conversations while small foals screamed and ran about under hoof.
Although he was fairly certain he wouldn’t be getting an erection at an inopportune moment, Thomas still didn’t like the idea of being naked in front of strangers and thus was one of the few actually wearing clothes. Even the Princesses were fully nude, wanting to relax for the festivities. He and the rest of Luna’s house had been properly enchanted so they could stay awake during the day. As events proceeded as usual, the human did his best to make polite conversation with the adults who came forward, although most who approached were foals who mistook him for their age and wanted him to join in their play. Seeing naked children was still a little awkward for him.
Eventually things began to quiet down and the mass ponies and other Equestrians congregated around the tree. Luna and Celestia shared the role of gift givers and began calling out names as they sifted through the piles of presents.
While Thomas spent most of his time zoning out and just staring at the presents, he was drawn back to reality when he heard the names of those on his list. Moonlight squealed upon receiving her chocolates, vowing to share them if he asked politely. Silver was also quite taken with her record, though she managed to keep a much cooler head. Talon just stared at her perfume with a deadpan glare before nodded resolutely and muttering, “I deserved this.”
Thomas was just as pleased with his gifts. From Moonlight he received several sets of new clothes, ranging from formal, to casual, to weather resistant. That earned her a kiss. Silver gave him a book on Equestrian etiquette. While Thomas would have likely taken this as some sort of backhanded compliment from anyone else, he knew that Silver had given this book with sincerity, and so booped her on the nose. And when he opened Talon’s gift, which was a band for his cock, a gift which had earned hoots and cheers from spectators, Thomas motioned for her to follow him away from the crowd. There, hidden behind her wing, he pulled his loincloth down and slipped the band on while she watched before they returned to the crowd.
After over an hour had passed, the tree was devoid of presents and the floor overflowing with their shredded remains. All that was left were the gifts for the Princesses, which had to be done in a separate ceremony as their presents were hidden elsewhere, for security purposes.
The Princesses quickly took their posts on specially sized chairs that would serve as thrones on level with their obscenely extended family, not the real thrones positioned on high. It was a tradition dating back to the harem’s early days, when the Princesses’ loved ones wanted to show them a more personal devotion, despite their insistence to be treated more ordinary. It had taken considerable convincing on Luna’s part to keep the custom from being suspended this year, what with Celestia’s concerns for her sister’s feelings. It went without saying that Celestia would receive more, but Luna’s loyalists had vowed that their quality would trump any quantity as they made their discrete exit.
Luna curiously watched her harem leave, but trusted it wasn’t just because they’d all forgotten to get her anything. That would be silly and illogical; a feat of such thoughtlessness that was simply beyond her treasured special someponies and special someone were capable of; so of course she never even considered it, not even a little bit. Thankfully, she was able to distract herself with the gifts given by the foals, whose parents had no doubt browbeaten them into getting something for all three Princesses to look polite. It was a formality Luna didn’t necessarily like, but she understood it was part of a lesson for the foals and so tolerated it. Mostly they’d gotten toys and memorabilia themed to each alicorn, which Luna accepted with a grace befitting her station; although, after all the time she’d spent in Thomas’ dreams, she couldn’t deny her urge to take a closer look at the video games she’d received.
The Princess of the Night exhaled heavily as she watched her sister quickly become laden with presents. From handmade to store-bought, Celestia’s form was soon eclipsed by tools, toys, pictures, music, jewelry, makeup, clothes, a couple books plus the one from Twilight, and, somehow, even a gift card. Cadence’s gifts were much more modest by comparison. From Twilight, who was spending the holidays in Ponyville, a rare first edition autobiography on Clover the Clever. From Shining, matching shirts with the words ‘Property of’ and each other’s cutie marks imprinted below.
Luna considered Shining’s gift a little on the cheap side. However, she also considered the stallion’s lungs to be top notch with how long and heavily Cadence was kissing him. Is she trying to suffocate him? Then again, Luna supposed she didn’t have much room to criticize. While Twilight’s four part book series on ‘The History of Lunar Art’ were touching and Talon’s jewel encrusted bracelets were lovely, she couldn’t shake the anxiety at not actually receiving anything from her still absent harem.
Don’t worry, came the familiar voice of Celestia in Luna’s mind. You’ll like what they have planned.
Your spies tell you that? Luna thought derisively as she smiled for the crowd.
If it’s not an order, Tali can’t keep a secret to save her life.
A brief chortle escaped the dark alicorn.
Although she couldn’t tell me everything, Celestia added. It seems there is a secret element that none but our niece has been able to discern.
It’s actually rather sweet, Cadence commented, somehow still smooching her coltfriend, who was somehow still conscious. I think Shiny and I might borrow it and make it a semi-regular thing.
Before Luna could inquire further, the doors to the throne room flew open as her harem pushed a large food tray through. On a lesser note, Shining seized upon the distraction to pull back and finally inhale. The crowd parted as the tray made its way through with only murmurs of wonder reflecting Luna’s. The mini procession soon came to a stop in front of Luna’s throne, where her harem of three took their positions around the lid covered tray.
“Luna,” Thomas began, forcing himself to ignore they eyes on his back. “If my past self were to see me today, I don’t think he’d recognize me. I’m more attentive to those around me, in the best shape of my life, and I’m not a virgin anymore.” This was naturally met by a round of laughter from the audience. “I’ve changed so much because of you, and I want you to know that, even when I’m being dumb and not saying it, I will thank you forever.”
Luna sniffled as her eyes began to water.
“Luna,” Moonlight spoke up. “I knew I wanted to be a guard since I was young, but I couldn’t imagine a post more fulfilling than in your service, protecting you and yours from any who would do you harm.” She glanced at Thomas. “It’s because of you that I met my stallion, and I can’t imagine I’ll ever have a day as happy when you and he became mine and I yours.”
“That’s my girl!” a stallion shouted from the crowd, earning another round of laughs and even a few cheers.
Luna did her best to steel herself, channeling centuries of alicorn discipline to keep from sobbing in front of her subjects. Such a thing was most unbecoming of an alicorn Princess.
“Luna.” It was finally Silver’s turn. “Since I was small, I have wanted nothing so much as I craved being with you. You are the idol and savior of my tribe, but also my deepest desire. Without you, I would probably just waste away in some music store, aching of a love most can only dream of. You, my Princess of the Night, complete me.”
That did it. Lighting her horn, Luna levitated her precious lovers into her grasp, using their bodies to hide her bawling like a baby. The four just embraced in relative silence as Luna got it out of her system before regaining her composure. When it passed, Luna looked as good as new, a benefit of centuries of needing to magically hide anything unsightly.
With their presentation delivered, Luna’s harem motioned for the still hidden tray. Luna giggled to herself for forgetting that she technically hadn’t received her present yet.
“You have no idea how much we were fretting over this,” Thomas informed as he and the others resumed their prior positions around the tray.
“It was originally Thomas’ idea to make you something ourselves,” Moonlight informed. “But we had some pretty heated debates on exactly what it would be.”
“In the end, we settled on something not only meaningful, but something we could all be a part of,” Silver added with a devious grin.
Luna was on the verge of fidgeting in place as she watched her lovers’ hands mercilessly taunt her as they gripped the handles of the lid. Thankfully, her harem decided to cut her torture short and quickly removed the lid. The feat was met with puzzled murmurs from the audience.
“A sandwich?”
“They made her a sandwich?”
“After all that buildup, I was expecting something more.”
“Isn’t that a little plain for a Princess?”
In Luna’s modest opinion as a chef in training, this sandwich was on the large size. Not only was it thick, but the bread was unusually large as well. Carefully picking it up so as not to dislodge the ingredients, she held the concoction at eye level. Since opening it seemed rude to her, Luna made do with what she could see on the outside. Lettuce, a cooked beef patty, tomatoes, onions, a cooked fish patty with melted cheese, more lettuce, pickles, and interspersed between it all was the sheen of condiments she couldn’t quite recognize.
The Princess looked up from the sandwich to those who had made it, her fellow Princesses, and the expectant audience. It went without saying that Luna would eat the sandwich. It felt good to have so many eyes on her, waiting to see what she did, and she was loathe to even think of disappointing. Besides that, the scent of the cooked meat was tickling her nose in such a way to make her mouth water. Standing up so that all could see her, Luna held up her coveted present for all to see before lowering it back down and taking her first bite.
Luna’s harem and their fellow viewers watched with bated breath as the alicorn seemed to freeze. If it weren’t for the faint flaring of her nostrils, some might mistake her for a very lifelike statue. Thomas and company began to quietly panic as they feared the worst had come to pass, that Luna hated her gift. This fear seemed justified as they, as the closest, bore horrified witness to the tears returning to Luna’s eyes.
Well? Celestia asked, growing anxious at her sister’s lack of response. Cadence! What exactly did those three put in that thing?
Cadence just giggled softly, reassuring her aunt with her eyes. To show how grateful they are for what Luna has given them, they’ve decided to give a little of themselves.
Celestia glowered at her niece. Don’t you take that tone with me, young lady! I was giving cryptic half answers when your mother was just a sperm. Her nostrils flared angrily. Now tell me what was in that sandwich!?
Love.
Celestia blinked curiously at Luna. What was that, sister?
Luna had begun devouring the sandwich in earnest. “My loves,” she whispered between slow and deliberate chews. “You have made me this wonderful dish with your precious love, and I am so thankful!”
While Luna’s harem and the audience seemed pleased by this declaration, Celestia remained skeptical. In response, Luna linked her taste buds directly to her fellow alicorns.
Celestia’s eyes widened as it dawned on her. Oh. ‘That’ love. As the Princess ruminated on exactly what her sister was eating, and telepathically sharing with her, Celestia couldn’t help but analyze the exact flavors presented. She was no stranger to the taste of such substances, yet the idea of putting them into a dish, even one as simple as a sandwich, came across as impressively inspired. Thomas, I assume?
Don’t care! Luna snapped. Eating!
In any case, Celestia continued, focusing more on Cadence. I propose we consider introducing this concept to the masses as well.
Cadence gave a near imperceptible nod. Agreed, but save the business until after Hearth’s Warming.
Celestia conceded and the festivities were allowed to continue. A gut busting lunch was followed by a hardy snowball fight. It was the most vicious and unforgiving snowball fight that Thomas had ever seen, although it offered him a convenient opportunity to try his new coat. After which, beaten, bruised, and all the happier for it, the small army returned to the castle for the traditional telling of the first Hearth’s Warming. And as he cozied up to those he held dearest in his heart, Thomas had to concede that it wasn’t half bad.
Silver stared sternly at her reflection in the changing room. This was her first trip to Fantastic Fantasies, and she could barely quiet her excitement. Standing up straight, she patted down her plain white blouse and almond skirt. Her mane and tail had each been tied into buns; all the better for when they were to be let down. She pushed up her thick rimmed glasses, thinking seriously on whether she should just leave them. Then again, she could also undo the buns, open a few buttons on her blouse, and ravage her mane to give her that extra wild look!
“No!” the bat scolded herself. “You’re supposed to be the stoic and respectful teacher. Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Her advice was easier given than exercised herself she rubbed her thighs together in anticipation.
The main room was set up like a modest little school. The walls were lined with maps and various diagrams, the window had a very convincing illusion of a quiet pasture at noon to add to the atmosphere, and the chalkboard where the day’s lesson, ‘Sexual Education,’ had been written. Fantastic Fantasies held templates for their more popular scenarios, allowing their customers to not have to start from scratch all the time. This one in particular had been borrowed from Celestia’s collection. Apparently she really had a thing for teacher-student play.
In the front sat Bookworm, an honor student unicorn in her white t-shirt and flannel skirt. Her books had been arranged nice and neat on her desk, right next to her homework. There was no doubt she would get a perfect score, again. She had to take regular breaks from her primp and proper character to pull at her thong, which kept trying to ride up and give her a wedgie.
Beside her sat Scowl, the class delinquent. He had no respect for his teacher’s authority, which was why he had not worn the school’s uniform as he slouched in his chair so that he could prop his legs up on his desk. His desk was free of all clutter, as he was too cool to actually care about school. He picked at his fingernails, trying his best to look tough. Spying Bookworm, he blew the mare a kiss in his best impression of an alpha male asserting his dominance. She caught it with a proud smile and stored it in the back of her panties, forcing him to avert his gaze with a blush.
In the back row sat the lone Bubble Butt, or Bubbles for short. It had been a long and grueling negotiation to get Luna to call herself something other than Perfect Ass. She was the class dunce who always did poorly, no matter how hard she worked. Her desk was an absolute mess as she worked diligently to make sure everything looked out of place. Her limp mane had been haphazardly tied in a bow, one that would quickly fall apart at the slightest tug. She’d decided to make her outfit as messy as her desk, buttoning only every other button and pulling her skirt down just enough so that her red thong was visible. Bubbles watched the exchange between Bookworm and Scowl, imagining that the honor student held private tutoring sessions for the rebel because he secretly cared about his grades, or at least her. The thought made her giddy with excitement as she fell into her role.
Throughout the schoolroom, magic was employed in the shapes of ponies which filled the remaining vacant seats of the schoolroom. They were second rate illusions, showing no signs of life and likely wouldn’t convince a five year old of their realness. However, for the purpose of the evening’s game, they served as a passable background.
At long last, the teacher entered the classroom with various bags in tow. Harsh Punishment may have been small, but the look she gave her students made it clear who was in charge. Even Scowl sat up straight, though he made sure to scowl back at Harsh as he challenged her authority. “Alright class.” She began by uncaringly dropping her bags to the floor around her. “Shut up and pass your homework to the front.”
“T-teacher?” Bubbles timidly raised her hand.
“What?” Harsh’s tone made it clear she was in no mood for trouble makers. The way Bubbles wilted under her glare filled her stomach with warm tingles.
“Sh-shouldn’t you take roll call first?”
Harsh blinked. That would be proper procedure, but she needed to stick to her character, a teacher who was in no mood to let her students have any control. Going through the list of fake students might have been good for building suspense, but she didn’t have the patience for that kind of tedium at the moment. “Quiet!” she snapped. “I can see you’re all here. One more smart remark from you and you’ll be punished!” She pulled her tools out from her bag and slammed them on her desk for all to see. They consisted of a variety of paddles, rulers, and a lime green double-sided dildo that everyone recognized as molded after a certain human’s dick, if a bit larger.
Bubbles whimpered, licking her lips. It was tempting to not behave after such a ‘threat,’ but she knew there’d be time enough for that later. For now she complied, passing her paper up to Scowl, who in turn passed it to one of the fake students. The papers went along the line, accumulating more and more sheets of meaningless scribbles until they found their way to Bookworm, who brought the papers up to the teacher’s desk.
Harsh flipped through the papers before dropping them down on her desk with a horse’s huff. “Scowl. I noticed your homework isn’t in this stack.”
“Oh that’s bogus.” He curled his lip in a snarl as he channeled his inner jock. The whole thing felt weird. “Ten pages on the history of, uh,” he floundered, “whatever. Just like you said.”
Harsh folded her arms in bemusement over her chest as she regarded her student. “History of ‘whatever’, for sexual education?”
“Yeah, that’s it,” Scowl corrected hurriedly. “The history of sexual education and how views have changed over the centuries. I did that.”
“Really now?” Harsh asked as she leaned against the side of her desk. The script she’d been given was tragically vague. It had a beginning and an end goal, but everything else was only guidelines and general freeform. Her only option was to follow Scowl’s lead and see where it went. “Do you have any proof?”
“It’s, uh,” he gazed over at Moonlight’s character, trying to remember her name. “Bookworm! Yeah, you got my papers, didn’t you… toots?” That felt so wrong to say.
“Oh, uh, yes,” Bookworm eventually answered. “I saw a paper with his name on it. I had it, right before I gave it to, um, Bubbles.”
“What?” Bubbles asked.
“Hey, that’s right,” Scowl said in his best condescending sneer. “I bet Bubbles took my homework.”
“Bu-tha-you saw!” Bubbles stammered meekly. “I handed him my homework. Then Bookworm-”
“Quiet!” Harsh snapped, silencing the mare. The bat heaved an exasperated sigh as she watched her student grind her thighs together. “Bubbles. You stand accused by two of your fellow students of stealing homework. How do you respond?”
Bubbles puffed out her lip in her best whimpering pout. It was so unfair, the way she was being singled out in blatant disregard for the facts. Bubbles was all alone at the mercy of her teacher and class, and it was just a little exciting. “But I… I didn’t.”
“Fine,” Harsh sighed. “Because I’m a bad teacher who is itching to get fired,” she snorted, “I suppose I’ll just go with the majority and assume your guilt.”
Nice lamp shading, Thomas thought.
Harsh gave her desk a firm slap. “Bubbles. Please come to the front.”
With a defeated slump, Bubbles rose from her desk and began her march of shame to the front. “Yipe!” The mare jumped near two meters in the air before slowly gliding back down like a feather.
“Bubbles!” Harsh scolded. “What are you doing?”
“I-it wasn’t me!” Bubbles pleaded as she rubbed her sore rump. “S-somepony pinched me.”
As if in answer, Bookworm began to conspicuously whistle as she looked anywhere but at her victim. Bubbles glowered at her loathsome assailant, licking her lips in want. However, a harsh cough from Harsh brought her back into character and she resumed her march.
Scowl met Bookworm’s eyes and he gave her an impressed half-smile. “Just couldn’t resist, could ya?” he whispered.
“And yet you did,” she countered teasingly.
“Well then, Bubbles,” Harsh announced as she did her best to look intimidating while craning her neck back to look up at her trouble student. “What are we going to do with you?”
“Oh! Oh!” Bookworm raised her hand excitedly.
“Yes, Bookworm. Do you have some thoughts?”
Bookworm gave a devilish grin. “Since she took Thom-Scowl’s homework, I think it’s only fair if she make it up to him, personally.”
“That’s certainly one approach,” Harsh agreed nonchalantly. “Although, I can’t help but wonder if that would properly teach her a lesson.”
“She took my homework,” Scowl cut in. “Maybe you can use her body to teach all of us today’s lesson?”
Harsh touched her chin in thought. “Well, I suppose a live specimen would be a boon to our lesson.” She thought it over a bit longer. “Yes. For her punishment, Bubble Butt will serve as a live demonstration.”
Bookworm began to applaud and Scowl joined soon after.
“Indeed,” Harsh beamed happily as she looked back up to her student. “Bubble Butt. For the purposes of this demonstration, I’m going to ask you to strip.”
Bubbles fidgeted in place as she glanced between her teacher and fellow students. “D-do I have to?”
“You can either do it yourself, or I shall let your classmates take a more … ‘hands on’ approach them do it for you,” she pointed a thumb over at the others.
Again, it was a difficult decision for Bubbles to make, but she decided to stay in-character. She began with her blouse, slowly unbuttoning from top to bottom until the only things keeping her ample cleavage hidden were her own hands. After another warning from her teacher, Bubbles let her sweater puppies free.
They’d agreed that, for this scenario, clothing was to be considered the norm. As such, all the illusion students donned varying degrees of lustful smirks. It had taken Luna a while to get into the mindset, but she was just so fascinated by what she’d seen of human views on nudity from Thomas’ dream memories that she wanted to give it a try.
After spending so long in Thomas’ dreams, she’d gotten a pretty good idea of what it really meant to feel naked. It was embarrassing, shameful, but also a little liberating. It was strangely exciting to just pull her hands apart and leave nothing hidden. Her excitement swelled into an itching heat between her legs as she told herself that she was doing this in front of strangers and not loved ones who had already seen her in all her naked glory a hundred times over. Thomas had helped by pointing out that the alicorns were some of the only ponies to wear clothes almost all of the time, which made her nudity more taboo. He also suggested that some of the illusion students be modeled after ponies Luna didn’t especially care for to help her feel added embarrassment at being disgraced in front of them.
“The rest, Miss Bubbles,” Harsh warned as she pulled a yardstick from the desk and began threateningly tapping it against her palm.
Bubbles gave a hurried nod and slid her blouse the rest of the way off before moving on to remove her skirt. Biting her lip, the mare turned around and began wagging her hips from side to side as she shimmied her way out of the garment. She smiled as she peeked over her shoulder to watch the way her fellow students’ eyes followed her every sway, like cats with a cat toy. Even the teacher had been taken in by the sight. Eventually the skirt fell to the floor and she unceremoniously kicked it off to the side.
“Ms. Harsh,” Bubbles squeaked. “I-isn’t this enough? M-must I t-take it all off?”
Harsh licked her lips as her eyes trailed up and down the alicorn’s immense form. Her bat wings were stiff as she eyed her student’s remaining attire, the teasingly thin red thong and a pair of striped socks. “N-no,” she managed. “Those are fine.
“Now class,” Harsh cleared her throat, trying to collect herself. “For today’s lesson, we’ll be focusing on the anatomy of a mare. Bubble Butt. If you will be so kind as to mount the desk and assume the position?” She gestured.
Bubbles felt her blush deepen as she did as she had been instructed. The desk was average for ponies, which meant it was far too low for her immense form. As such, Bubbles had to bend over completely, resting her belly upon the firm wood and leaving her ample breasts to hang off the other side. Further, the relatively short desk meant that she had to spread her knees out a little in order to be comfortable. This only served to make her feel even more exposed as she felt a soft wind blow between her legs, causing her tail to partially flag.
“Oh my,” Harsh gasped. The sight of her lover’s rump presented so readily for use was almost too much to take. But she managed to keep her composure, remembering her role as a dom. “Yes. Well that’s,” she cleared her throat, “very nice.”
The thong remained, like an annoying little hair that had somehow managed to cling to the camera lens. A hair might have done more to conceal the alicorn’s glory. The puffy ring of her anus was clear for all to see as it peeked out from around the tiny string. Her marehood was no different as it began to hungrily wink, occasionally grabbing hold of the thin fabric and pulling it in, only to spit it back out.
I suppose it does not care for the taste, Harsh thought in amusement, only to clear her throat. “Now then, let us begin our lesson, shall we?”
Silver breathed heavily as she marched around to Luna’s other side, unable to help but look down at the alicorn’s trembling form. This is because of me, she thought. Proud, noble, and divine Luna is shaking in fear… because of my actions! The mere thought felt so obscene, but perhaps that was what made it so delicious. Luna, the most revered being in bat pony history, was on her knees at the mercy of her mistress, and Silver planned on enjoying it.
The bat mare brought her hand down with a crack, causing the alicorn’s ample rump to jiggle as she gave a startled yelp. “Alright class. Can anypony tell me what this is?” She gave the butt cheek an added squeeze for emphasis as her other hand brushed Bubbles’ tail out of the way, clearing the view.
“Oh! Oh!” Scowl eagerly raise his hand. “I know.”
“Scowl,” Harsh acknowledged.
“That’s a pony’s ass,” he proclaimed with a knowing smirk.
“The anatomically correct term is plot or flanks,” Harsh corrected. “But yes. This,” she slapped the rump again, “is a mare’s plot. Plots are very important to pony intercourse and are often used to judge the desirability of a pony. Stallions tend to prefer a larger, more plump backside as it allows them considerable cushion when mounting a mare. Conversely, a stallion’s plot is more desirable if it more toned and muscled, suggesting strong bloodlines that can be passed on to his offspring.”
Unable to help himself, Scowl ran a hand over his own rear as he looked on. There was definitely more muscle than when he’d first come to Equestria, but it still left much to be desired.
“Now look here, class,” Harsh continued as she pulled one of Bubbles’ butt cheeks to the side. “Here we see the subject’s marehood and anus. Both are partially concealed behind this string of a thong,” she explained as she dug a finger beneath the thin fabric, lifting it out a ways as she trailed down along Bubbles’ ass crack. “However, due to the subject’s immense size, both orifices remain plain to see even in spite of the subject’s attempt to cover both of them.” She finished by releasing the strip and allowing it to snap back into place.
“Teacher?” Bookworm asked sinisterly. “What’s that smell?”
“Ah. An excellent question,” Harsh congratulated as she pointed down to the winking lips of Bubbles’ marehood. “What you are now detecting is the smell of arousal. It is an involuntary physical response to stimuli. While both mares and stallions emit this particular odor, it is most apparent with mares.” She glanced briefly at Scowl. “As a courtesy to those with a weaker sense of smell, I invite all students to come up and take a whiff for yourselves.”
Scowl and Bookworm did as instructed, leaving the other students behind. The pair crouched down to their knees side by side before the mammoth rump, shared a wicked grin, and together pressed their faces forward. Bubbles covered her hand over her mouth to hide her cries as she felt the two go to work. At first, both mare and man hungrily licked at her labia before plunging their tongues deep inside.
Bubbles squirmed in place as she fought not to clench her butt cheeks around their heads. She could feel it, the way their tongues fought to reach and touch every inch they could. It was like a small shock of static when she felt their tongues touch insider her as they alternated their attention between her marehood and each other. For whatever reason, Bookworm decided to concede dominion over the alicorn’s vagina to the stallion, and instead she climbed over him to focus on the unclaimed land of her anus. Bubbles’ pucker opened readily to its new guest and her muffled screams grew all the louder as, without the stallion to distract her, Bookworm’s tongue was able to delve more deeply into the alicorn’s dark passage.
When her superior ears picked up the sound of lewd squelching not coming from behind her, Bubbles turned an eye on her teacher. Harsh’s right hand was hard at work on her own marehood as she focused intently on the sight before her, leaving her other hand twitching in frustration at being kept from where it wanted to go. The knowledge that her teacher was masturbating only added to Bubbles’ arousal as both tongues worked vigorously to bring her to orgasm. However, just as she felt she was about to overflow, Harsh lunged forward and yanked the students back, denying Bubbles her release.
“Now let us have none of that,” Harsh admonished. “This is a punishment as well as a lesson. If our dear Bubbles is brought to climax so early, then her mind will be addled by the afterglow and she will be unable to learn anything.”
Bubbles wanted to shout, to deny the allegations that a single orgasm would hinder her ability to think, but kept her mouth shut, as was befitting her character. So she did her best to calm herself down as she settled back onto the desk.
Scowl and Bookworm looked almost as disappointed as their bodies showed obvious signs of arousal. However, they nodded their acceptance as they sat on the floor before the moon’s moon.
“Teacher. Wouldn’t it be better if we took the desk away?” Bookworm asked.
Knowing where this was going, Harsh gave a wicked smile. “Perhaps. But first, what makes you believe that to be the case?”
Bookworm shared in the grin, before quickly nodded to Scowl to make sure he was paying attention. “Without the desk, the mare,” she purred, “would be forced to either support herself with her hands or lower her front half to the floor. Either would prop her butt up enough for, well, the best kinds of feelings,” she finished with a giggle.
“Indeed,” Harsh confirmed as she nodded to Bubbles. “Would you mind-”
The aroused mare didn’t even wait for the order to finish before her horn lit and the desk was teleported to the back of the class, leaving all of its contents to fall haphazardly to the ground, as she fell down to the floor, using her arms for support.
Harsh’s eyes widened in lust as she gazed upon the offered rump, but quickly regained her composure. “Yes, Bookworm. This position is indeed the most ideal for pleasing a mare,” she explained as she looped her fingers through the thong’s support strings and slid it down. “In this state, the mare’s body is most receptive to penetration and allows for any phallic instrument to reach much deeper than normal. This position also allows for optimal stimulation of the clit and other sensitive areas. Allow me to demonstrate.”
Harsh reached down for the dildo shaped like a human’s penis before pressing the tip to Bubble’s marehood. She teased along Bubble’s winking outer lips, causing them to momentarily increase their speed before she plunged the toy inside. Keeping a careful hold over the toy, Harsh then slowly extracted it from the mare’s moistened depths, only to plunge it in deeper than before.
“You see, class,” Harsh explained as she continued her thrusting. “While Bubbles is in this position, she is susceptible to receiving the optimum amount of stimulation a mare can receive.”
Fighting against the urge to start masturbating, Scowl managed to raise his own hand in inquiry. “So what about when you’re facing each other? Is that less pleasurable, or something?” He asked in genuine concern.
“Ah. The belly-to-belly position,” Harsh stated as she ceased in her thrusting, but left the dildo in place as she lectured. “The appeal of intercourse while facing your lover is more psychological than physical.” When Bubbles started thrusting her hips back in an effort to reach her desired climax, she was once again denied, Harsh simply set her hand warningly on the mare’s rump until she stopped. “Looking into your lover’s eyes is generally considered much more intimate, especially from the mare’s point of view. You might not hit all the same physical spots, but the emotions shared are often considered much more passionate.
“However, if you are asking which method leads to the better orgasms, I am afraid that is all down to preference,” Harsh explained as her fingers crept agonizingly close to Bubbles’ pucker. “Some ponies prefer the traditional pony style, but others prefer the intimacy of belly-to-belly.”
Scowl made a thoughtful sound. “So, would you say it’s best to just switch things up every now and then for, uh, the sake of variety?”
“Faust yes!” Bubbles cried through gritted teeth, startling a chuckle out of the others.
Harsh beamed widely as her middle finger began tracing circles around Bubbles’ brown star. “Oh most certainly,” she concurred. “Most ponies are content to go their entire lives only engaging in traditional pony style, but there are so many other avenues that are tragically ignored.” She grabbed hold of the dildo once more and resumed thrusting as she plunged a finger into Bubbles’ anus.
“Hold on!” Scowl proclaimed as he stood, bringing Harsh’s lesson to a halt as she awaited his explanation. “I, uh,” he hesitated, momentarily forgetting the words. “I still don’t really get it,” he asserted flatly as he gestured between himself and Bookworm. “I mean, we’re just students, aren’t we? Wouldn’t we learn better with a,” he gulped, “hands-on approach?”
Harsh ecstatically clapped her hands together. “Excellent idea! But how to do it?” She asked no one in particular as she stroked her chin in faux thought. “Oh. I think I know!” She declared proudly as she snatched the dildo out of Bubble’s marehood with a swift yank, earning a moan that was a mix of pain and longing. “Bookworm. You are instructed to hold this for the remainder of the lesson. Do with it as you see fit,” she explained with a wink before passing it on.
Bookworm, predictably, lifted the used end up to her snout and took a deep whiff of the alicorn’s pleasure fluids. Tentatively she flicked her tongue over the end and shuddered at the taste. “Oh yes,” she purred her gratitude.
“Right,” Harsh continued with a firm nod. “You are assigned to backdoor duty.” She pointed to just above the alicorn’s dripping slit. “You are to keep our dearly beloved’s rear nice and tender for the duration of the lesson. At the same time, you are to climb atop her back and ensure that her wings are properly tended to. Understood?”
Bookworm snapped to attention and gave a sharp salute. “Ma’am!”
“Scowl. Your duties will also be twofold,” Harsh ordered. “You shall sit before our dearly beloved Bubble’s moon on marehood duty. You are to not allow a single drop of precious fluids to escape from Bubble’s flower?”
Scowl nodded with the same sharp salute. “And the second part?”
Harsh smirked as she reached down for his pants and yanked them down, allowing his erection to spring to life in the open. She then ran a hand down her skirt before lifting the hem just an inch, indicating what lay beneath. “I trust you are capable of doing your duty.”
Scowl’s only answer was as an eager nod as his cock twitched its approval of this plan.
“And you?” Moonlight asked, sensing the façade was about to end.
Silver waved her hand down her body. Perhaps she’d pulled some unseen thread, because afterwards all of her clothes fell from her body, leaving her bare. Flipping her mane back with one last proud smirk, the bat displayed gymnast level agility as she grabbed hold of Luna’s and slid herself beneath the alicorn’s belly. She was positioned such that she was face to face with her beloved Princess, meaning a pair of mighty alicorn boobies were pressing firmly against and around her chest and upper belly.
The others scrambled to disrobe and assume their respective positions. Despite the immensity of Luna’s rear, it was still a little awkward for Moonlight to climb atop it and find a spot where she felt safe from falling off. Then, with a moist shlicking sound, she plunged the used end of the double-sided dildo into her marehood in one swift thrust, savoring the warmth of the alicorn’s own juices. Her own horn then lit, encasing the other end of the dildo in her magical glow, leaving behind a glossy sheen of lubricant as she positioned it just above Luna’s pucker.
Thomas’ vision was almost completely consumed by several mares’ asses. Above, Moonlight sat precarious, clinging her knees around Luna’s cutie marks as her engorged marehood winked around its mouthful directly overhead. In front, Thomas’ face was wedged several inches into Luna’s immense indigo butt cheeks and he hadn’t even touched her yet. He was, however, close enough to feel the immense heat radiate off of Luna’s hungry pussy as the combined scent of both mares’ arousal threatened to drown his nose. A bit of light was allowed to creep in below, where he saw the parted legs and winking, moist marehood of Silver just out of his reach.
Aware of where all of her lovers were positioned, Luna arched her back just so, sending Silver’s lower half sliding back right into Thomas’ lap. This jostling caused Moonlight to briefly lose her balance, sending her forward to grab onto Luna’s wings for balance and causing the first inch of the dildo to thrust into the mare’s anus, earning a combined moan from both mares. Seeing what had happened, Thomas grabbed Silver’s hips and positioned his cock at her entrance, where he patiently awaited a signal to begin.
“You ready to get bucked?” Silver asked through a fanged growl.
“Always!” Luna cried before kissing the smaller mare. And so it began.
Thomas and Moonlight immediately thrust into their respective partners as both mares moaned their approval into each other’s mouths. Moonlight dutifully got to work on stimulating Luna’s wings, massaging the bases in that way she knew that sent jolts of pleasure through the alicorn’s body. Her position still felt a little insecure, but she managed to pull her hips back, feeling the way Luna’s powerful anal muscles clenched and pulled at the dildo, only to thrust forward and drive the phallus deeply into both of them.
Thomas, meanwhile, pressed his face as deep as he could into Luna’s folds without obstructing his nose. At the same time he was digging his fingers into Silver’s cutie marks, judging the sounds both mares made as a sign of approval as he lifted Silver off of his lap, only to slam her back down. Overcoming the lustful odor, he also opened his mouth wide and extended his tongue, touching all the places he knew Luna liked while also guiding her delicious nectar into his maw.
Feeling the way Thomas smiled into her foal hole; Luna couldn’t help but do the same as she worked on Silver. Despite being crushed beneath the larger mare’s ample breasts, Silver’s kiss was passionate and aggressive. Had Luna not had the high ground, she was certain the bat mares affections would have been enough to push her back. But alas, that was not to be, so Silver contented herself by reaching up to pull and stroke at the alicorn’s mane and horn respectively.
Luna’s cry was mirrored by Silver as the smaller mare also felt stimulated on all fronts. As a mare, she was accustomed to be on the receiving end of a lover’s body weight, but usually from the back. However, recent trysts inspired by Thomas’ urgings had taught her the joys of being bottom while on her back. The way Luna’s massive chest pressed roughly against her smaller frame, sliding against her with each of Thomas’ thrusts, made it still a little weird, but in the best possible way. Thomas’ movements were awkward at first, moving her up and letting gravity pull her back down, but he quickly found a satisfying rhythm as he took greater control over her hips. He was using her like she was nothing but a tool for his pleasure, and she was liking it.
Luna’s nether lips clenched over Thomas’ face, warning him what was coming. He managed to pull away just in time as a torrent of alicorn love juice flooded his face. His mouth was still open wantonly as he drank as much as he could, but most of it still spilled out over his chest. That was faster than usual, he thought as he drank. Must have been all that teasing from earlier.
Moonlight’s climax followed closely after. Fluids leaked out around the dildo and onto Thomas’ face, her vanilla flavor mixing exquisitely with Luna’s more lemony juices. Feeling the way Silver clenched around him next, Thomas managed to time it just right so that he released his load with her. He did his best to plug her up, but Silver still managed to add to the fluids now covering his body. Yet when it was over and Thomas was ready to slump back in exhaustion, he noted that he was the only one.
Moonlight was still humping away at the gravid ass while Luna and Silver were still competing to eat each other’s faces. Feeling his own member go flaccid, Thomas caught the familiar jingle of magic as a glass of clear liquid floated up to him, encased in an indigo aura. The human took the glass eagerly and downed it in an instant. In mere seconds his cock, which was still sheathed in Silver’s folds, sprung back to life as a warmth of new energy spread through his body.
Moonlight’s fingers were working their magic on Thomas’s shoulders as he sat on his cushion next to Luna’s. The curtains in Luna’s office had been partially opened to let in a bit of light from the nearly full moon, but the magical lamps were as bright as normal, giving the room a fairly nocturnal look. The room was empty of guards, secretaries, or any nonessential personnel save for, from left to right, the unicorn, human, alicorn, bat pony, and griffon. Even the furniture had been moved to the outskirts of the walls, leaving only a low sitting table in the middle surrounded by large cushions to serve as seats.
It was Saturday, so they didn’t have to worry about the aristocracy and the issues of governance. Tonight was to be dedicated strictly to two interviews. Thomas, Silver, Talon, and even Moonlight wore their formal concubine uniforms, while Luna wore a dark blue gown that exposed a modest amount of cleavage and opened up around the legs to allow her to sit comfortably. With considerable aid and pressure from Silver, Attentive Eye’s staff had muscled through the vetting process of all current applications; they were finally ready to begin interviewing the new applicants for Luna’s harem.
Thomas’ anxiety was compounded further by the knowledge that this was no simple job interview, but a marriage meeting. Any minute now a mare would enter through the doors of Luna’s office with the intent of joining the Princess’ harem; and whether she knew it or not, marrying her, and by extension, him. Still, they’d drilled the routine enough times, not to mention the presence of his closest friends provided considerable security.
“Never had a marriage meeting before?” Talon asked sarcastically from across the row.
“I didn’t even know I was married until a few weeks ago,” Thomas explained as calmly as he could.
“As Princess, I’m inclined to say that you’re doing quite well so far,” Luna comfortingly put her hand on his shoulder. “You’ll do fine.” She looked from the human to the other members of her harem. “You all will.”
“Well she is the Princess,” Talon quipped. “She probably knows what she’s talking about.” Talon followed up by leaning across the alicorn and briefly kissing Thomas’ cheek (a peck if you’ll pardon the pun). “Just relax, act natural, and it’ll all be fine.”
“Verily,” Luna nodded. “Remember, Thomas, you are the Senior Concubine of Princess Luna’s Royal Harem. If this mare fails to impress you, any of you,” she looked to everyone in the room, “then she has failed to impress us.”
“Right,” Thomas nodded. This is for Luna. I have to do my best and make sure this mare’s a perfect… fit. Gah! Thomas internally swore as his mind began exploring all possibilities involving the words ‘mare’ and ‘fit’. Now’s not the time to be thinking about that stuff… or is it? If she catches a whiff of my scent, would that help things along? Would that technically be manipulative? Damn it. I should have thought about this earlier and asked Luna. “No time like the present,” he sighed, resigning himself to the inevitable. “Okay, I know I said I wanted to go in blind, but you think we can go over who’s who real quick?” he asked Silver.
“Of course,” Silver agreed as she whipped out a clipboard from seemingly nowhere. She’d disagreed vehemently with Luna’s suggestion of allowing their first meeting to be as informal as her own. As such, she requested access to their application forms so a proper interview could be carried out. Of course, she’d only done so with Thomas’ permission, though she had anticipated he’d cave in eventually. “The first is a pegasus mare named Surprise.”
“What was that?” Thomas asked, eyes bulging in surprise.
“Surprise,” Silver repeated as she scanned the papers. “Born in Cloudsdale, she’s spent most of her time working in her family’s joke shop, but has also done some volunteer work for the city guard.”
Moonlight’s ears perked in interest. “I like her already.”
“As do I,” Silver said as she turned the clipboard so that Talon could have a better look. “She lists as strengths her up-beat personality and ability to make ponies smile. Sounds fun,” she smiled, muttering to herself as she read on. “Weaknesses include a hyperactive personality that some ponies might find abrasive. Basically she’s an extreme extrovert.”
“That does sound like fun,” Talon added.
“What’s all in there?” Thomas asked, almost desperately curious to find out more about this pony who not only shared a name with a G1 counterpart, but also was Hasbro’s rough draft choice for Pinkie’s position in the mane six.
“The usual,” Silver answered. “Tribe, occupation, herd status, height, weight; these numbers seem more fit for an earth pony than a pegasus if you ask me,” she added, pausing to make a vague gesture of largeness. “Cutie mark, sexual preferences…”
“That’s part of the application!?” Thomas asked in disbelief.
“It is optional,” Silver corrected. “According to Sun Dancer, it’s there for the more serious ponies who know they are going to succeed.”
Thomas pressed a thumb to his forehead, suppressing a headache. “Out of curiosity, did you happen to fill that part out?”
Silver shrugged apathetically. “I left mine blank. Saying ‘whatever the Princess wants’ sounded too desperate, and ‘undecided’ did not seem very helpful either. Blank seemed safest since I really did not know what I liked.” She smiled up at Luna. “If somepony had told me a month ago that I liked spanking and being dom for the Princess, I might have slapped them.”
Luna leaned down and nuzzled Silver between the ears. “Some applicants are more in tune with their desires, but often the royal lovers do not know what they want until we show it to them.” Her touch earned a purr from the bat mare.
“Makes sense.” Moonlight said as she rubbed cheeks with Thomas. “I had a rough idea, but I never knew my taste for the young coltish look went this far.”
“Big girls,” Thomas chimed in as he nuzzled back. “I’ve always had a thing for big, strong looking ladies.”
“Lucky monkey,” Talon snarked. “I go for the flanks, personally. The bigger the better.”
Silver struggled to regain her focus as she held up the clipboard. “W-well… This mare says she likes smiles, that she’s happy so long as her partners are happy. She also adds that we shouldn’t be surprised if she decides to pull the occasional prank on us.”
“Simple enough,” Luna cooed, continuing to nuzzle the bat mare mercilessly. “Anything else of note?”
“Sh-she says…” Silver finally pulled away and cleared her throat. “She says that, after spending so long away, Princess Luna is owed a welcome back party and that it would be her honor to host it.”
Luna beamed in elation. “That sounds absolutely lovely. And the other?”
Silver flipped through the papers until she found the next candidate. “Apple Honey.”
“An Apple?” Thomas asked, earning a confirming nod from the bat mare. First a possible Pinkie Pie clone, and now an Apple? Is destiny trying to recreate the mane six or something?
“Member of the Apple Clan,” Silver read aloud. “Born and raised on an apple farm, no shock there,” she added sarcastically. “Strengths include physical strength and a hard work ethic. Weaknesses include a lifelong difficulty with reading. Apparently her family helped to fill out her application.”
If Thomas were a pony, his ear would have flipped. “She’s dyslexic?”
“What’s dyslexic?” Silver asked.
“A condition that makes it hard to read,” Thomas informed sympathetically. “And I should know. I had to take remedial reading lessons when I was little. You guys never heard of reading disorders before?”
“I’ve heard of ponies with reading problems, but I never heard it described as a disorder,” Moonlight said as a thoughtful look crossed her face. “That said, I think this mare just found herself a kindred spirit.” She smiled down at Thomas.
“Indeed,” added Luna. “The stigma behind such an inability can be rather harsh, depending on where she grew up. Having somepony who shares her plight would be a welcome boon.”
Thomas blushed under Luna’s gaze as he imagined this mare going through similar trials he had, but amidst less informed and patient surroundings. If Equestria was really ignorant of reading disorders, then it might have led to some very unfortunate possibilities growing up. Teasing from the other kids would have been bad enough, but an unsympathetic teacher or parents would have been even worse.
“Sexual preferences…” Silver continued. “Anal, belly to belly,” she licked her lips, “and mares with large breasts,” she snickered as she surveyed her audience. “That should not be a problem for this crowd.”
“What about final comments?” Talon added, peering over Silver’s shoulder. “She write anything there?”
Silver made a sound of disapproval. “Nothing. I suppose that’s to be expected if she has trouble writing, but she could have at least put in something.”
“Something for what?” Thomas asked.
“The final comment section,” Silver pointed at the paper on her clipboard. “It is for applicants to give their reason for applying. While optional, I am not too sure about leaving it blank. Such inaction suggests lack of proper forethought and commitment, if you ask me.”
Thomas studied Silver’s expression carefully. Several times he felt her tone in reading Apple Honey’s application to be bordering on condescension. Remembering that she was a noble and that this new pony was an apple farmer, Thomas wondered if there was some degree of elitism at work.
The group shared a laugh before agreeing. With no further questions, they agreed it was time to begin.
“A Surprise to see you,” Attentive Eye announced from behind the door.
“Send her in,” Luna answered and the door opened to reveal no one. At first those in the office craned their heads to look past the door, then around the room in the hopes of finding the mare who was supposed to be there.
“Surpriiiiiiise!” The white pegasus cheered, materializing out of nowhere in an explosion of confetti.
Initially startled, Thomas quickly settled down and soon added his nervous laughter to the guffaws of the others at the mare’s impressive entrance. Thomas eyed her up as she hovered in front of the group. She had white fur with a poofy blonde mane and tail. Her body was full and pudgy in many places, especially the breasts and butt, suggesting a love of sweets, but overall she still looked pretty fit. As Silver had said, she had the height and relative build of an earth pony, though her wings were certainly large enough to hold her weight. Her cutie mark was that of three purple balloons and had a purple bow tied at the base of her tail. She was nude, unsurprisingly, and her pubic hair had been trimmed in the same poofy manner as her mane and tail. She held her presenting pose all the way down until her hooves touched the floor, all the while her violet eyes never left the Princess.
“Hello, Surprise, was it?” Luna greeted serenely and held out her hand. If she’d been remotely fazed, she hid it well.
“Is, was, and always will be, Your Highness.” Surprise tilted her head in a soft bow as she reached for Luna’s hand, kissing the back of her fingers. She then looked to either side of the alicorn, grinning giddily as she playfully batted her eyelashes at Luna, who responded in kind. Then she stood and turned her body to face each of the concubines, starting on the left.
“You must be Moonlight Shield,” Surprise declared as she snatched up the unicorn’s hand, shaking it wildly as she hovered above the table. “Easily the luckiest mare in all the royal guard, though not pony in the guard because Shining Armor is kinda contending the spot, what with getting all up in Princess Cadence.” Surprise explained with a thoughtful giddiness as Moonlight’s arm threatened to shake right off her shoulder.
“P-pleasur-ur-ure’s all m-mine!” Moonlight stammered against the onslaught until Surprise finally released her.
“I read all about the shield you used back in Ponyville. Real high level stuff if it held off an ursa, even if it was just a baby.” Her eager bubbliness evened out as she stood straight at attention and saluted.
Still sitting, Moonlight mirrored her action. “I’m just glad I was able to help.”
“Good soldier,” Surprise nodded the guards’ shared understanding before moving on. “And you must be Thomas, Equestria’s famous human.” She extended her hand, which Thomas carefully took, thankful that she was much gentler with him. “You’re the one who made the Halloween, that ride that made even seasoned guards pee themselves, right?”
“Guilty as charged,” Thomas admitted as he tested Surprise’s grip and studied her expression. If he didn’t know better, he’d suspect the mare to be Pinkie’s secret twin, though didn’t rule that option out of the realm of possibility. He continued to smile, even as his stomach tied into a knot in worry that perhaps this mare had the same powers as her pink counterpart. “I’m guessing you missed it.”
“Fraid so,” Surprise sighed, but kept hold of Thomas’ hand. “Nightmare Night’s a pretty big deal for a joke shop, what with all the last minute pranks ponies like to play. Do you think you can bring it back next year? Oh! Ohohohohoh! Or better yet, will there be something new?”
“I’ve got a few ideas,” Thomas answered, proud of the ear-to-ear smile he’d earned from the mare, only to blush when he saw the cheeky look Moonlight was giving him. Intellectually he knew that she, in all likelihood, was not jealous. However, it still felt terribly awkward to hit on other women in front of your kinda-sorta fiancé.
Surprise puzzled at the sudden embarrassment before spotting Moonlight and making an “O” face. “Keeping your stallion on a short leash, huh?” she whispered loud enough for all to hear. “I’m so jealous.”
“Make a good impression,” Moonlight whispered back good-naturedly, “and I might consider loaning him out to you.”
Thomas only barely extracted his hand in time to avoid the mare’s bone crushing excitement as she beamed down at him. Note to self. Watch out for excitable mares. They be crazy.
Moving on, Surprise knelt before Silver and the pair exchanged kisses on their cheeks.
“I’m surprised you know that custom,” Silver blushed.
“I do my homework, ma’am.” Surprise stood back to her full height. “I may not have a family claim to this position,” she glanced at Luna, “but you have my word that I intend to dedicate myself 110% to making everypony happy.”
“I can ask for no better,” Silver beamed proudly at the pegasi’s words.
Announcing loyalty to Luna sure seems a fast way to earn some brownie points, Thomas thought. Then again, since I’m the Senior, I’m pretty sure it’s my job to not be sucked in so easily.
When it came to Talon’s turn, Surprise made no immediate move to greeting as she hovered, but rather studied the wren from a respectful distance before speaking. “You’re Talon, one of Princess Celestia’s lovers, right?”
“I am,” Talon answered evenly, as curious as the others to see where this was going. “I’m stabling with Moonbutt until she gets her harem into shape.”
“If you’re a griffon, does that mean you’re going to bite my nipples?” Surprised asked with the innocence and curiosity of a child asking why the sky was blue.
Amidst the stunned silence, Talon gave the question much more consideration that it deserved before she answered with a shrug, “Probably.”
“Okay!” Surprise’s hand shot forward and the two shared a hearty shake, leaving the others to wonder if she was accepting the inevitable like a good sport, or had received the answer she desired to hear. “I look forward to being friends with all of you.”
“Well you’ve certainly made a fine start,” Luna said as she gestured to the designated cushion and the mare took her seat, cross-legged. The Princess glanced over at Thomas, signaling that it was time to do his job.
Thomas scrambled to reassemble his note cards under the table. Say or do something to break the ice, he read.
“Whatcha got there?” Surprise asked, leaning forwards curiously. “Now doesn’t seem the best time to be masturbating, unless this is some sort of test.” The mare’s brow furrowed. “No pony told me about a masturbation test,” she said in a growing panic.
“Note cards,” Thomas corrected before things got out of control, noting the way the mare’s heavy breasts hung low and wobbled as she breathed. “This interview is kind of a first for both of us. You for being the first of the job, and me for being the first on this side of the table. Well, technically second for me, but you get it.”
“So you’ve got the nervous-first-day-jitters too?” Surprise asked eagerly.
“Very much so,” Thomas agreed as he set the cards on the table. “The first one said I needed to do something to break the ice, but, and pardon the bad humor, but I think your personality’s too warm to let ice form in the first place.”
Surprise snorted her laughter as she fell over sideways.
“Nice opener,” Moonlight whispered. “A little cheesy, but nice.”
Emboldened by the apparent improvement in his flirting abilities, Thomas decided to go with the flow and see where it took him. He stood, walking carefully around the table as all eyes followed him. He knew what he was about to do was far from appropriate in polite human society, but something about the mare’s personality made it seem like a safe gamble. Surprise finally calmed as he stood beside her, her eyes watching him expectantly. After deciding he’d built enough suspense, Thomas gave the mare her name’s sake and sat in her lap, earning surprised giggles from her and the others.
“H-how is she?” Talon asked as her claw covered her snickering beak.
“Very comfy,” Thomas said as he shifted around. The mare’s stomach and thighs made for some very comfy cushions. His head sat snugly between her breasts as the large orbs nestled comfortably over his shoulders. It was all a very cozy fit. In addition to her body heat, he was also surrounded by her sugary scent. “It’s like I have my own private heated chair,” he sighed contentedly. Surprise burst out laughing again, bracing herself with her hands to maintain her status as a comfy chair.
Fans like to call Rarity a marshmallow just because she’s white, but I’m pretty sure this mare is more deserving of the title, he thought with a snicker.
Moonlight fixed her stallion with a flat smile. “Is… there room for one more?” she asked with what the human could only assume to be envy.
“Me thinks you might be too big for this one,” Talon informed despondently. “You’ll just have to settle for the big foal’s ride.” She pointed a thumb at Luna.
Giggling excitedly, Luna snatched up both unicorn and bat mare in her magic and set them in her lap. It wasn’t quite the cozy fit Thomas had, but they weren’t complaining.
“Ha ha, wow,” Surprise chortled. “You guys are a lot of fun. Is it always like this?” she asked as her hands found their way to the human’s knees.
Thomas briefly tensed at her touch, but quickly relaxed. While normally apprehensive about being touched by strangers, Thomas decided that he had initiated and thus had no right to complain, especially with how comfortable he felt. “Nah,” he shook his head, feeling the soft texture of her fuzzy breasts glide across his head and shoulders. “Sometimes things get weird.”
“Beh,” Surprise waved a hand dismissively. “Weird is just another way of saying fun, but in a way no pony expects.”
From virtually anyone else, Thomas’ cynical mind would question if they were being patronizing. From this mare, however, he felt fairly certain in her sincerity, and warmth. “Hey Silver. You’re about my size. Want to tag in?”
“Perhaps later,” she waved him off as she rubbed her back against Luna’s clothed stomach. “I’m good where I am.”
“Glad to hear,” Luna cooed. “In that case, if everypony’s comfortable…” her gaze lingered on Talon as the griffon shrugged unconcernedly, “then let us carry on. After all, this is an interview.”
“Surprise,” Silver spoke first. “Out of curiosity, what brings you here all the way from Cloudsdale? Your application said you wanted to throw the Princess a party, but I’d like you to elaborate on that.”
Surprise, never ceasing her smile, looked up from the bat pony to the alicorn. “Like I said in my application, I love making ponies smile. Jokes, parties, tickles,” she tapped her fingers threateningly up Thomas’ legs, “whatever it takes. But when I heard about what happened to Princess Luna, and all those years she spent hurting and feeling alone…” Her smile had finally vanished. “I knew I was needed, that there was somepony out there who needed a smile like no other,” she said reverently as she glanced around the room. “I can see you already have some ponies here to help you out, and I’m happy for that, but…” she trailed off.
“But?” Luna repeated.
Surprise chuckled softly. “Call me full of myself if ya want,” she fixed Luna with her most serious stare. “But I believe you need a professional smile master to help you through the bad times.”
Once more Luna’s horn lit, this time levitating both Surprise and Thomas up into the air. Luna drew them closer until the white mare was on eye level. Thomas had a good view of the tops of her dark blue breasts obstructing his ability to see the other mares. And then Luna surprised Surprise with a quick kiss on the lips. “That, my lovely Surprise, is a good answer.”
Surprise whinnied in her throat, her arms wrapped around Thomas like he was a life preserver as Luna set them back in place.
“Who wishes to go next?” Luna asked openly.
Moonlight snatched up Silver’s clipboard and flipped through a few pages. “It says here you were a volunteer city guard. I’m a little curious how one would go between a joke shop and a guard.”
“I’ll admit it wasn’t my first choice.” Surprise shrugged, inadvertently pressing her breasts tighter around Thomas’ head. “It was part of my parole.”
“Parole!?” Alarmed, Moonlight went back to flipping through the papers. “I don’t see anything here about a criminal record. Did the vetting miss something?” she asked accusingly.
“Ugh!” Surprise rolled her eyes. “That’s because I don’t have one. See, it went down like this.” She reached for a lantern, which Thomas was certain wasn’t there before, as the lights seemed to dim of their own accord. The light of the lantern was focused onto a single spot, allowing the mare to make gestures with the shadows as she spoke. “It was my shift at the joke shop, and I was just minding my own business…” In the shadows, a very detailed silhouette of Surprise stood behind a desk and waved to her audience. “When suddenly… Boom! A crooked crook broke in.” The silhouette of Surprise frowned as a pegasus with a zigzag body entered the scene.
“She said, ‘give me the money’.” Surprise deepened her voice. “And I said, ‘nuh uh. Stealing is wrong’.” Her pitch heightened for her own role. “So she said it again, ‘give me the money’, so I said again, ‘nooooooo’! And on and on it went until I got bored and pulled the crooked crook lever.” Surprise explained excitedly as her silhouette pulled a zigzag lever. “And then bam, whoosh, and kerplowee!” Each word had it’s turn in the shadows, until the zigzag pony was left trapped in a net hanging helplessly as a cheering Surprise waved her butt tauntingly at the burglar-turned-victim. “I got her.” The lights of the room turned back on, again seemingly of their own accord, as Surprise tucked the lantern under the table.
“That was…” Moonlight paused to search for the words. “You paint a very vivid picture.”
“Thank you,” Surprise beamed.
Reality warping Pinkie powers confirmed, Thomas thought morbidly. God help us all!
“But… the parole?” Moonlight continued.
“Oh that. Well, even though I had acted in self-defense, the defense attorney argued that I had acted illegally, something about unlawful use of party streamers and a whoopy cushion.”
I don’t even want to know, Thomas thought.
“Anyway, the judge saw right through him and gave me a deal. Instead of jail or a fine, I’d have to spend the next six months as one of the city guard reserves. The training was surprisingly fun,” she perked up. “And after it was all over, I decided to stick around and keep doing my duty,” she snorted. “Hah. Duty.”
Moonlight beamed at Surprise, although she was still shaken by the mystery of the shadow puppets. “I think that’s good enough for me,” she said acceptingly, only for Talon to seize her turn with the clipboard.
“Yeah, yeah,” the griffon murmured disinterestedly as she flipped through the pages. “Wanted to make the Princess smile, can make shadow puppets; all well and good. Now it’s time for a question that actually matters.”
Surprise gulped under Talon’s intense stare, only to yelp when she felt a tiny hand against her thigh. She looked down between her breasts to find Thomas smiling reassuringly at her, so she smiled right back in gratitude.
Talon nodded and held out the clipboard for emphasis. “I notice a distinct lack of sexual history in these papers,” she said in a mixture of condemnation and warning. “Care to fill us in?”
“Oh that!” Surprise visibly relaxed. “Guess I forgot to put in that part. Well, I’ve had lots of fillyfriends and coltfriends over the years; 752 for the former and 163 for the latter if I’m remembering right.”
Damn! Thomas thought. Here I am, supposed to be the professional slut, and I get outclassed by the freaking hobbyist. Glad I didn’t pay for a degree.
“I did whatever it took to make them happy,” Surprise bragged. “Hugs, tickles, talks, butt stuff, you name it. No seriously. Name something.”
Talon blinked, momentarily caught off guard, but grinned at the challenge. “Belly to belly with a stallion?”
“Most find it a little scary at first, but they really like it once we get going,” Surprise beamed.
“Groupings?”
“My current record is twelve,” she held her head high in pride.
Impressed, Talon decided to throw her opponent a curve ball. “The Catherine Wheel?”
Surprise blinked in befuddlement. “The who wheel?”
Talon beamed, ready to lord her knowledge. “The mare and stallion sit down opposite each other. She wraps her legs around him as he enters her, and then he wraps a leg over her to keep her in place as he guides the movement.”
Thomas flinched as Surprise’s jaw dropped right on top of his head.
“Is… is that some secret technique known only to royal concubines?” Surprise licked her lips hungrily.
“Sort of,” Talon shrugged as she fixed Thomas with a cold, threatening stare. “Chimp’s got a lot of funky ideas swimming around that head of his.” She gestured at the human, smirking as the mare started panting thirstily overhead. “But the only way to learn such techniques is to make it to the final stage.”
“I will!” Surprise proclaimed as she stood to her full height, carrying Thomas along for the ride as she held him suspended between her breasts. “You have my word, Princess. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove myself worthy of you and these secret techniques of happiness.”
Luna tittered softly at Surprise’s antics. “While I’m happy to hear that, I’m afraid there is one last question you need to answer before you pass the first phase.” She indicated Thomas with her eyes.
Surprise looked down between her breasts, heart full of purpose as she stared down it him, almost daring him to ask a question she couldn’t answer. Whatever it was, come Tartarus or hail, with Faust as her witness, she’d answer that question and move on to the next phase.
“Can you put me down now?” Thomas asked meekly.
“Sure!” Surprise bubbled as she set the human beside her, allowing them to compare size properly. “Ya know, you kinda look like a little filly.”
“So I’ve been told,” Thomas sighed in exhaustion.
“Sooooooo… was that the question? Did I pass?” She asked with barely contained excitement.
“Dedication, resourcefulness, and a sense of humor,” he listed off. “Sounds like a winning combination to me.”
“Boo!” Talon jeered. “Ask her a real question. Make her work for the honor of the moon’s moon.”
Thomas narrowed his eyes on the griffon before looking back at the pegasus. “Surprise.” He motioned for her to lean down to his level, where he cupped his hands over his mouth and whispered into her ear. The others leaned in to hear, but their lack of reaction suggested he’d correctly estimated their hearing range. “Can you do that?”
“Sir!” The mare saluted before tackling Talon to the floor with a surprise attack. Not only was the griffon caught off by the suddenness of the attack, but the mare’s methods completely tore down decades of hardened military training as Talon burst out laughing, helpless before the tickle attack. Surprise, as she had boasted, was an expert in making ponies smile, including tickling. Talon’s weak points were quickly pinpointed and exploited.
The mares and man gripped their sides in pain as they watched their beloved friend suffer beneath the pegasi’s merciless fingers, until finally Luna called off the attack. Surprise tried to climb off, but a claw seized her wrist and pulled her back down into a deep kiss. The flyers moaned passionately as their hands resumed exploring each other’s bodies, but in a more sensual manner; except for Talon who grabbed hold of Surprise’s butt cheek and dug her claws in deep. In time Surprise was allowed to get up, her mane an utter mess, whereupon she was instructed to send in the next applicant and wait for further instruction.
“Wha…” Talon panted, her grin seemed near permanent. “What’d you say to make her…” But the labor of speech was proving too arduous.
“I said I’d tell her about three more positions in exchange for her service,” Thomas bragged as he offered a hand to help her up.
The harem only had a short while to tidy themselves up and get back into position, while trying to look as professional as possible, before Attentive Eye announced the next applicant.
In strutted a tall earth mare with an emerald green coat, while her mane and tail was the color of platinum gold and her tail was styled with whorls though her manestyle was a cresting comb over and an unbound ponytail, and light purple eyes gazed at Luna, Thomas, Moonlight, and Silver. Unlike her predecessor, Apple Honey came wearing clothes. Her red flannel shirt was short and tied tightly around her barely contained breasts, leaving her midriff exposed. She wore short, thigh high blue jean pants that had her cutie marks stitched on the sides, which were three green apples. There was a noticeable clopping sound as she walked forward, which suggested that she had horseshoes on. She was tall, like Surprise, but also well-muscled, clearly developed due to a life of hard labor on the farm. Her body was almost a dead ringer for Applejack’s, if Thomas was remembering correctly.
“Howdy, ya’ll.” She tilted her head in greeting. Her voice was gentle and feminine, but her tone was distinctly tomboyish. “Name’s Apple Honey, most folks just call me Honey, ‘n’ Ah’m just pleased as punch to be here.”
Luna extended her hand, palm down, just as before. Apple Honey took it, but rather than kissing the back of Luna’s knuckles, she daringly opted to slip the alicorn’s middle finger into her mouth where she sucked on it with loud slurping noises. Thomas watched as Silver and Moonlight pulled back in shock at the mare’s brashness, while Talon grinned in approval. Luna, smiling mischievously, could not help but toy with the mare, moving her hand this way and that as the apple farmer followed.
After a moment’s thought, Thomas realized that Apple Honey was trying to impress Luna as Surprise had done. To win the approval of Luna and her concubines, it made sense to approach the situation with a go-big-or-go-home mentality. Seems like the system’s a little rigged against introverts, Thomas thought, worried that he’d have likely failed if asked to interview for a position in Luna’s harem.
“I like these new applicants,” Talon declared with an amused chuckle. “They’re fun.”
“Certainly a fair grade above the last batch,” Luna grinned wryly, “for what little that is worth.”
Honey finally released Luna’s finger with a soft pop and stood at semi-attention across from her interviewers. “Ah take it yer referrin’ to the lot that secretary was tellin’ me about?”
“Depends,” Talon said. “What have you heard?”
“That they were a bunch o’ snakes in the grass, all smiles ‘n’ no substance.” Honey crossed her arms over her ample chest with a huff. “Just makes me sick ta think there are ponies out there who’d actually try taken advantage of a Princess like that.” She snorted irately. “But Ah don’t wanna get bogged down with the negative stuff.”
“Very well. Shall we begin with introductions?” Luna motioned to the other concubines.
Out of the corner of his eye, Thomas saw Silver’s lip curl into a brief smile.
As with before, Moonlight was first as the mares reached over the table to shake hands. “Pleasure to meet ya’ll. Cousin AJ says you lot helped save Ponyville from a rampagin’ ursa.”
“That we did,” Moonlight acknowledged, noticing the way Honey’s eyes fell below the neck line. It didn’t necessarily bother her to have her breasts stared at, but she did clear her throat to let the mare know she was being a little rude by not looking her in the eye. “It was a hard fought battle, but one all of Ponyville should be proud of for how they rallied together.”
“No argument here,” Honey agreed and moved on to the human, shaking his hand. “Ah’d know that filly face anywhere, what with how much AJ ‘n’ her sister keep writin’ about cha.”
Thomas shrugged off the comment about him looking like a filly, unsure how he felt about growing numb to such a comparison. As Honey’s eyes looked him over appraisingly, Thomas felt little guilt in returning the gesture. She was an impressive specimen. “It was pure adrenaline,” he admitted. “Not sure if I could do that again.”
“If yer smart, which Ah reckon ya are, ya won’t want to try somethin’ that crazy again.” Her hand squeezed tighter, but not so much that it was painful as she stared into his eyes. “Even so, ya did it. Ya saved mah little cousin, an’ that means a lot ta the Apple clan, an’ me personally. Far as Ah’m concerned, that makes you kin.”
Thomas smiled, his cheeks reddening at the heartfelt meaning in Honey’s words. From what he understood of the Apple family, being referred to as kin was about the highest compliment they could give. However, Thomas felt a bit of unease as he watched the earth mare move to the next pony in line.
“Silver Bell,” Honey greeted next. “Ah’m afraid Ah’m not very familiar with you, but yer a lovely mare Ah hope ta get ta know better.”
Silver smiled. “Even though my breasts are on the small side?” she asked testingly.
“Aww, Ah don’t mind none.” Honey made sure Silver saw her eyes crawl across the bat mare’s chest. “Teats are teats, an’ Ah love ‘em.” She snuck a quick glance at Luna’s chest and licked her lips.
Sentiment shared, Thomas agreed. Although, since bisexuality is basically the norm around here, does that even need to be said?
“In that case, I look forward to getting to know you as well,” Silver replied without a hint of disapproval, much to Thomas’ relief.
“An’ you must be Talon, self-proclaimed sexiest griffon in Equestria.” Honey took Talon’s claw in hand, making a show of how hard she was squeezing.
Talon just smiled, seemingly happy at the challenge. “You know it, babe. Glad to see my reputation precedes me.”
“In more ways than one,” Honey added with a grin. “You’re the third hero from Ponyville, ain’t ya?”
“That’s me.” Talon released her grip of the mare’s hand and examined her claws idly. “Hero by day, sex goddess by other day.”
Luna motioned for Honey to sit, allowing Thomas to go through what he’d seen. Friendly country attitude and fair bit of daring. So far so good. Thomas almost reached his note cards, but decided against it.
“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume you’re the sort who likes it when people are straightforward about things, am I right?”
“They say assumptions make asses out o’ all of us,” Honey said with an unconcerned shrug. “But yeah. Ah’d wager that’s a fair thing ta say.”
“Before we begin with the questions,” Thomas interlocked his fingers and set them on the table, “I’d like to say something so you know I don’t mean any offense.”
Honey raised a brow skeptically. “‘Kay…”
“When I was little, I was diagnosed with a disorder called dyslexia; something, it seems, Equestrian doctors don’t really have a grasp on. It’s a reading disorder.” He noted the way Honey’s eyes widened and ears stood at attention. “In grade school I had to take remedial lessons. They even sent me to a different room with other dyslexic kids during certain parts of the class.”
“Sounds embarrassin’,” Honey said neutrally.
“In hindsight, but I really didn’t think so at the time. For me, it was just an excuse to get out of the harder portions of the spelling test, at least at first.” Thomas sighed. “I remember my parents sitting me down and quizzing me with note cards, especially if I didn’t do so well on a test.”
“Yer lucky,” Honey said. “Mah parents just said an apple farmer didn’t need readin’ ‘n’ writin’ all that much, so Ah spent the first part of school days at home doin’ chores. Ah guess Ah was a little like you at first, thinking Ah was lucky to get out of lessons, but…” she was unable to finish her response.
“I remember one time I’d spent almost a minute reading and rereading a single line until my parents finally had me stop. I guess they didn’t want me to get upset, which I was, but feeling like a failure didn’t exactly help much.”
Honey’s lips finally broke into a sympathetic grin. “Ah can see that,” she snorted. “Well, Ah guess things paid off fer you, anyway. Don’t need to be much of a reader ta stick it ta the Princess.”
“I’m actually writing a book.”
“You what?” Honey was taken aback.
“Yeah. With Moonlight,” he indicated the unicorn who waved in acknowledgement. “She does a lot of the grunt work, but I edit to make sure everything’s written properly.”
“Y-you’ve got what Ah got,” Honey murmured in disbelief, “but you can write?”
“I’ll never be as fast as those without my condition, but I’ve got a mind that’s overflowing with ideas.” Thomas sat up straight, beaming at the mare. “I’ve got dyslexia, but that doesn’t make me stupid. Anyone who says otherwise can kiss my pasty white ass.”
Honey managed to choke down her sobbing chortles before they could escape, though she did have to wipe her watering eyes. Beaming down at the little human, she once more offered her hand, which he took. “No. Ah’d say yer one of the smartest ponies Ah’ve ever met, even if ya ain’t a pony.”
“Damn straight!” Talon cheered, pumping her fist.
“Finely spoken, my little human,” Luna sighed happily.
“You’re so cute when you’re inspired,” Moonlight cooed, fussing Thomas’ hair.
Silver gave a relenting sigh, looking upon the earth mare with newfound sympathy before turning back to Thomas. “I believe there was meant to be a question at the end of that.”
“Right,” Thomas chuckled as she retrieved his hand. “Well, Silver brought up that you left your final comment section blank. She said it’s important for applicants to share why they’re applying, and I’m inclined to agree. So, Honey, why don’t you tell us why you want to be a member of Luna’s harem?”
Honey straightened up in her cushion. “A fair enough question, Ah s’pose. This might sound bad, but Ah’m not too sure Ah have a reason.” She looked up at Luna, her prior confidence waning somewhat. “Ah mean, Ah do have a reason. Ah just… don’t really know how ta say it.”
Thomas watched as Luna frowned, clearly dissatisfied with this answer. Damn it! No way that heartfelt speech is going to waste this early. As the human racked his brain with something to say, anything to help the mare regain her prior confidence, Silver cleared her throat.
“Perhaps an example is called for,” the bat mare suggested. “My family line, like so many others, has always dedicated itself to the service of the Princess of the Moon. Where others are famed for producing gallant warriors, mine specialized in the training of lovers. It’s a very old tradition, and one we’re quite proud of. I suspect a member of the Apple clan can sympathize.” She paused as Honey nodded gratefully. “Yet of all my siblings, I was the only one to answer the call of duty. Do you know why that is?”
Honey shrugged. “Can’t rightly say.”
“Me neither, but I am going to give it a try anyway,” Silver said with utmost seriousness. “We all had the same training, but I knew even when I was little that I was the only one who ever really took it seriously. They might have teased me about it, but as a filly I really did believe that Luna was going to return and that I would be the one to carry on the old tradition. I believed it with all my heart, that my Princess,” she gazed up at Luna and took her hand, “would return to us, and that she would need me by her side.” She paused, apparently losing herself in her alicorn’s eyes.
“More or less the same, but nothing quite so proufound,” Talon chimed in. “I always had a feeling I was destined for more, but never really knew what. Then one day I saw Sunbutt and knew there was nothing I wanted more than her. Lucky me she shared the sentiment.”
“That’s it!” Honey beamed, glancing gratefully between Silver and Talon before settling back on Luna. “Princess,” she tilted her head in a respectful bow. “Ah’m a simple mare from a simple farm. Ain’t got no fancy pedigrees or ancient birthrights. Ah know there are a lot of ponies out there, most of ‘em fancier than Ah could ever be. But…”
“Speak truly and from the heart, Apple Honey,” Luna beckoned. “To be my concubine, nothing less will be accepted.”
“But Ah think you need more than just fanciness,” she gestured towards Silver and Talon. “No offense.”
“You are forgiven for calling me fancy,” Talon said good-naturedly while grabbing hold of Silver’s hand, wordlessly stopping her from replying. “For the record, it’s pronounced ‘sexy beast’.”
Honey laughed appreciatively. “Mah folks said Ah was just bein’ stupid, but the moment Ah heard about ya from the papers, Ah just couldn’t get the idea out of mah head.” She ruffled the left side of her mane. “Ah just kept seeing ya, all cooped up in yer fancy tower, eaten fancy food, dealing with fancy over perfumed ponies day an’ night, an’ Ah thought to mahself: wouldn’t a mare in that position like a nice home grown apple as a break from all them fancy quiches ‘n’ such?” Her idea finally concluded, Honey sat straight and proud as the Princess stared her down. “Ah hope that makes sense.”
“Am I to understand, little Apple,” Luna licked her lips, “that you are offering yourself to be devoured?”
“Mah name is Honey,” she fluttered her eyelashes playfully, not missing a beat. “Be a shame ta let mah namesake go ta waste, Princess,” she said with a giggle. “But all flirtin’ aside, what Ah really mean is ta give ya a more down ta earth look at yer kingdom. If you’ll have me, Ah’d like ta be the one ta give ya a taste of Equestria’s workin’ folks, how we’re really like when we’re not bowin’ ‘n’ scrapin’ just ‘cause a lot of ponies think we should be.”
Luna touched a finger to her lips. “So you wish to act as a representative of working class earth ponies, to ensure that I do not lose sight of your ilk amidst all the, as you say, fancy perfumed ponies. Is that accurate?”
Honey giggled. “That, an’ Ah just thought you’d appreciate some good ol’ fashioned Apple ruttin’.”
Thomas felt the brush of a tail against his lower back, pulling him out of his engrossment with what was being said and reminding him of his job. “I,” he cleared his throat. “I think that answers my question well enough. Who’s next?”
“I would volunteer, but I’m afraid my question was taken from me,” Silver smiled with faux accusation at Thomas. “Your answer was more than satisfying, so I shall pass. Thomas can have a second turn.”
“You sure?” he asked.
“By all means.” Silver gestured amicably.
Surprised by the opportunity, Thomas decided to give his next question some careful thought. Going over all that he had heard so far, his face took on a look of mild horror as he recalled what Honey had called him earlier. “If we’re kin, is that gonna cause any problems for us, ya know, down the road?”
Honey blinked in confusion, retracting her hand. “Not sure what yer gettin’ at, little fella.”
Thomas had a sinking feeling that he knew what he was about to learn, but decided to ask anyway. “There’s no problem with sleeping with relatives, even if we aren’t related?”
“Sure as shootin’ there ain’t.” Honey shook her head in amusement. “That don’t even make sense. Don’t know what it was like fer you, but a herd livin’ out on the frontier, on those nights when it gets below freezin’; they ain’t got no choice but to sleep together. Things ain’t as cold as they used ta be, what with all them new magical heatin’ lamps, but snugglin’s still nice.”
“Sex,” Moonlight interjected. “Humans have very different views on sex than we do. In this case, he’s asking if there is a taboo on incest, I think?” she asked and Thomas nodded in affirmation.
“Ah,” Honey said in understanding. “Well, Ah guess it all depends on what you call incest. Like, it’s fine if it’s just me ‘n’ my siblin’s ‘n’ cousins jus’ foolin’ around when there’s no heat. But if there is heat, then Ah’d say it’s downright deplorable if me ‘n’ mah brothers were ta get too frisky, if ya know what Ah’m sayin’.”
“I… think I do,” Thomas acknowledged, noting the use of qualifiers. She specifically said brothers, which probably means sisters wouldn’t be an issue. “So its fine so long as there’s no risk of pregnancy, right?”
Honey nodded. She and the other mares all looked pleased at his understanding.
Siblings and cousins, Thomas mentally noted. He hoped the qualifier implicitly excluded other kinds of relations, but didn’t want to press the issue.
“Good thing too,” Honey continued. “‘Specially with all them fillies ‘n’ colts hittin’ puberty an’ gettin’ all curious ‘n’ hormonal. Who else are they gonna turn to, ‘cept family?”
“Very true,” Moonlight agreed, surprising Thomas. “I don’t know what I’d have done without my sisters to help me through my heats.”
“Such is only natural,” Silver added matter-of-factly, earning an exacerbated eye roll from the human.
“It’s just all in good fun,” Talon shrugged, this time earning a cold stare. “What?”
“For some reason, that one doesn’t surprise me,” Thomas admitted.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re being less than complimentary right now?” Talon asked with a glare.
Honey cleared her throat, breaking the man and wren from their glares as she gestured up at the mare who had remained noticeably silent during the exchange.
Luna just gave a contented smile and shrugged.
Thomas opened his mouth to speak, but found he had no words. The more he thought about it, after everything he’d been told about the mare’s past, after everything he’d seen the mare do, he’d have been more surprised to learn Princest was where they drew the line.
“Ah reckon it’s not mah place ta ask, but…” Honey was leaning forward in anticipation.
“You want we, Princess Luna,” she folded her arms under her chest, propping up her breasts as she pouted sultrily, “to divulge the intimate details,” she licked her lips as her fingers ran along her cleavage, “of actions that may or may not have taken place, involving our big, bountiful sister and ourselves in,” she fluttered her eyelids coyly, “compromising positions?”
Honey had leaned so far forward that her breasts were acting as support against the table and a small puddle of drool was collecting beneath her chin.
Luna touched her chin, making a thoughtful sound. “No,” she said with coy finality.
Honey frowned dejectedly. “Ma always told me if Ah didn’t have something nice ta say, Ah shouldn’t say nothin’ at all.”
“Permission granted to speak honestly,” Luna allowed.
“Yer so mean, but Ah’m okay with that.” Honey’s words were met with laughter from her interviewers as she straightened up.
Was that really just a coincidence? Thomas thought.
“My turn,” Talon said as she took the clipboard, examining it quietly before she found what she was looking for. “In herd status it says you’ve got a herd of three, including yourself. Being in a harem’s a lot like being in a family. So if we’re getting you, I’d like to know who else is along for the ride.”
“Sure thing,” Honey beamed proudly. “There’s mah cousin Jonagold, an’ our stallion Big Plow.”
Thomas exhaled. Potential for sex puns aside, I suppose I should be grateful they’re not siblings.
“Jona’s a petite little thing an’ real cute. Big Plow is, well, he lives up to his name, so whatever yer imaginin’s probably pretty close.” Honey tittered. “An’ before ya ask, no. Plow’s only an Apple by herd, not blood. Me and Jona were like two peas in a pod growing up, so when she said she had her sights on that hulk of a stallion an’ wanted mah help, Ah just couldn’t say no. They’re both awful sweet, an’ Ah love ‘em ta death.”
So she’s used to sleeping with a Big Mac? Thomas bemoaned, cursing the inevitability of comparing himself to someone who’s arm was probably thicker than his waist, let alone cock sizes. Why me?
“You made it sound as though your parents didn’t approve of your decision to apply as a concubine,” Silver chimed in, “but you wrote that your family helped you with the application.”
“Sorry fer the misunderstandin’. By family, Ah meant mah herd, not mah natal herd or the clan,” Honey corrected. “They’ve actually been real supportive so far, but we agreed it’d be best if they stayed home until Ah get things settled. Plow’s been especially eager to see what life in the capitol’s like.”
“Out of curiosity, who is your lead, if you have one?” Moonlight asked.
“Hands down, that’d be Jona,” Honey declared. “She might be tiny, but she’s a feisty one. Ah learned from watchin’ her ta never underestimate smaller mares.” Her eyes fell on Silver. “Might seem like they’d be easy to take, but they’re the last ones ya want ta get in a scrap with if ya can help it.”
Silver beamed, clearly pleased by this assessment.
“If we’re still going off the question of your family,” Thomas interjected. “I’d like to know what they plan to do for work, you know, if you’re accepted. I mean, if they move here with you, is there really much work for farmers?”
“That’s a mighty thoughtful thing ta ask,” Honey said. “But don’t worry none. Plenty of fields on the north side of the mountain lookin’ fer a few extra hands. Don’t matter the crop. Plant an Apple on a farm, they’ll grow ‘n’ bloom.”
When it seemed like the discussion of Honey’s family had reached its conclusion, Moonlight was handed the clipboard. She frowned as she flipped back and forth through the pages, having difficulty finding something that might warrant a question. Eventually she set the clipboard down and met Honey’s eyes. “To be honest, I’m having trouble thinking of anything,” she admitted. “Your preliminaries show you have strong family values and an honest disposition. Your reasons for joining suggest a deep commitment to not only your Princess, but an often overlooked segment of the Equestrian population. With everything I’ve seen and heard, I can’t think of any reason to question your character.”
Honey beamed brightly at that. “That’s mighty sweet of ya, sugar.” She then turned to survey the others. “So is that it, then?” she asked with cautious hope. “Did Ah pass?”
After sharing confirming nods with the others, Silver set the clipboard down. “Your training begins immediately.”
Thomas stirred from his pillow, which was currently Silver’s warm back. His arm wrapped over Silver’s torso, whereupon he shifted his hand to find it brushing against much coarser fur, which he recognized as Moonlight’s. Gently exploring their bodies, he smiled at finding the pair interlocked in a full embrace. It was rather unusual for him to be on the outside of the love sandwich, but he was far too comfortable to complain. Blearily he blinked the sleep out of his eyes and looked up, finding that his stupid internal clock had awoken him a full half hour early. That, or it was his sudden need to pee.
Deciding that it would be rude to go in Silver’s ass without her consent, Thomas carefully extracted himself and made for the bathroom. He froze upon seeing Luna on the toilet and quickly spun around. “Sorry,” he blurted, trying not to listen to the steady stream of liquid in the toilet.
Using her magic, Luna lifted the human and turned him around to see her amused half grin. “What, pray tell, gives you the right to be sorry so early in the morning?”
Thomas narrowed his eyes accusingly on the alicorn. He realized that, after all they’d seen of each other, he was being rather silly for trying to avoid her. Even now her mane and fur were an absolute mess, stained in the fluids of yesterday’s ‘treatment’. Deciding to play along in spite of the presence of toilets better suited to his size, Thomas moved himself directly in front of the mare, grabbed hold of his semi-hard cock, and asked, “Could you open your legs a bit?”
Chuckling, Luna accommodated and gave the human plenty of room. She was still relieving herself, and studied her human’s expression as he watched. “Does this please you?”
“I… er, no,” Thomas mumbled, doing his best not to look as he took aim. “I… this isn’t one of my… things.” He began urinating as well, keeping his eye on Luna’s large knee. “Is… it one of yours?” he asked carefully.
“Alas, it is not,” she answered with a yawn. “A bit of leakage is often unavoidable, but I have never been much of a fan of, as you say, water sports.”
“If that’s not your thing, what do you do about concubines who like it?” Thomas chuckled about how casual they were speaking about such a thing while he looked up at Luna, still making sure not to gaze down south.
Luna’s bladder emptied, but she remained sitting as Thomas was still going, watching his little dick with mild fascination. “We all make due,” she said with a contented hum. “If my interpretation of your dreams is accurate, I believe ponies are much more accommodating of their lovers’ desires than humans.”
“How so?” Thomas’ stream had ended as he gave the last few shakes.
“By pony standards, you are bent towards mares. They are your preference. However, a pony stallion with the same preference would not have as much difficulty accepting a male lover as you would. The same applies for other such preferences. I may not actively seek out a pony who has such a fascination with urine, but I would still oblige if asked, at least to an extent.”
“Does that go for all ponies?” Thomas asked, finally finishing.
Luna stood as he stepped aside. She grinned at the way his eyes moved more freely across her body. It was nice to be appreciated. “To varying degrees, yes,” she explained as she began washing her hands, making room for Thomas to join her. “We all have our preferences, but we do not feel so rigidly bound to them as humans seem to be.”
“Kinda surprised orgy parties aren’t more common with an attitude like that,” Thomas remarked.
“If I might say, you seem rather fixated on this all-or-nothing attitude. Most ponies are content with their beloved herds, or friends to help ease tension. Sex for its own sake is simply not a common preference, as far as I am aware.”
“You would know.” Thomas gave the looming alicorn a wry grin as he reached for the paper towels. “With all those dreams you watch, I bet you know exactly what kind of preferences are and aren’t common.”
“To an extent,” Luna shrugged without a trace of guilt and set a hand on Thomas’ shoulder. “While I accept that you still wish to keep your own preferences to yourself, I cannot help but wonder if you might like to join me in a little exploration.”
Thomas flinched back. “Keeping it in the harem is one thing, but isn’t that, like, an invasion of privacy?”
Grinning, Luna bent over and pressed her muzzle against his ear. “Not if you are invited,” she whispered teasingly.
“You’re terrible.” Thoroughly fed up with Luna’s attitude, Thomas did the only sensible thing he could think of and jabbed a finger just above her left areola. She yelped in surprise, but did not pull back. Instead, her lips curled into a mischievous grin. “Uh oh,” he gulped. “Did I just poke the sleeping lion?”
“Do not be silly.” Luna lit her horn and stood to her full height with Thomas levitating at eye level. Encased in her magic, she spun him like a clock until his cock was pointed directly at her face while he was forced to stare at her firmly muscled belly. “Tali’s not even here tonight.”
“That’s cool and all,” he remarked dryly, though couldn’t deny he was a little proud of his labor being appreciated by others. “But you know where that’s been, right?”
“Verily!” Luna declared as she slurped the appendage into her maw, working it swiftly with her tongue until he came and she drank her fill.
“Hey!” Came two very irate feminine voices. Luna and her upside-down human turned to find a pair of naked mares standing in the bathroom doorway, arms folded and looking rather upset.
“I thought we agreed to alternate,” Moonlight complained with a huff. “You had his first spurt yesterday, so that makes it my turn.”
“My apologies,” Luna admitted with ears splayed, though the smile on her lips betrayed her lack of guilt.
“And I thought we agreed he produces more when I lick his plot,” Silver added indignantly, her entitled nobility side peeking through. “If you want to sample his seed, that’s fine, but you could at least do so at the highest quality. A Princess deserves as much.”
“Oh please,” Moonlight rolled her eyes. “You’re just saying that because she shares it with you.”
“Exactly!” Silver exclaimed, standing defiantly against the larger unicorn. “There’s enough to share between the two of us, not to mention the added flavor of her favorite bat mare. The highest quality a Princess could ask for.”
“Is that so?” Moonlight stepped forward, pressing her chest out into Silver’s face in challenge.
“Yes. Zat is zo!” Silver pushed against Moonlight, standing on her tippy hooves.
“Can I say something?” Thomas raised his hand, still held upside down. Though he wasn’t certain if the two mares were being serious or playing around, he still felt he needed to intervene, regardless of how absurd this whole thing was. He looked to see if Luna planned to help, or at least turn him right side up, but it was clear she was far to entertained and interested to see where this was going. “Moonlight. You’re absolutely right. It was your turn and Luna and I should have remembered. And Silver, if it makes you feel better, you can lick my butt as much as you want during Luna’s first break.”
Both mares relaxed their postures as they stepped back from one another, ears splayed in humility.
“You’re right,” Silver said to Moonlight. “We had an agreement and you have a right to your turn.”
“And… he does taste a lot better with your help,” Moonlight reluctantly admitted. “Especially with that flicky thing you do with your tongue.”
“Ai can teach you zome time if you like,” Silver offered. “Maybe even right now?”
With peace on the horizon, Thomas felt there was only one sensible thing to do. “See. You shouldn’t be mad at each other. You should be mad at Luna for acting without your consideration.”
“What!?” The alicorn blurted.
Moonlight’s brow furled until realization dawned on her. “Hey, he’s right.” And she renewed her accusatory look at Luna.
“You snuck him in here so we wouldn’t notice.” Silver took a challenging step forward, forcing Luna to retreat.
“What? No. No! We did no such thing.” Luna held up her hands defensively, apparently having forgotten her superior size in the face of the irate mares. “Thomas, tell them!”
Thomas beamed at Luna with a grinchy grin, thoroughly pleased with himself for putting her on the defensive for a change. Still, he felt he’d had his fun. “Actually, Luna was already in here. I came in because I had to pee and I didn’t want to do it in your butt,” he indicated at Silver.
“Aww. Thank you,” the bat mare cooed with far more gratitude than Thomas felt he’d earned.
“How are any of us saying this stuff with straight faces?” Thomas demanded.
“Practice and patience,” Luna declared authoritatively. “As befits all great endeavors.” And the four descended into chuckles.
There came a knock to the door.
Like deer caught in the headlights, the harem momentarily froze in shock. When a bubbly voice announced, “Room service,” the mares collectively lunged for the bed with Thomas still in tow. They quickly regained their prior sleeping positions, stumbling over one another more than once until they finally settled and Luna beckoned in her attendants. Thomas did not say that what they’d done was entirely unnecessary, but he thought it with a vengeance as he was plunged back into Silver’s butt.
Surprise and Honey filed into the room, stood at attention across from the bed, curtsied in their maid outfits, and greeted in unison. “Good evening, Princess Luna.”
“For the denizens of the night, we call it morning,” Luna corrected as she sat up and stretched. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the mares staring very intently at her bosom. She was in a good mood, and it was a challenge not to give her ‘girls’ a playful shake.
“Sorry,” the mares said together, still curtseying. “Good morning, Princess Luna.”
The other concubines stirred from their pretend sleep, apparently committed to the act.
Silver yawned as she rolled over, now sitting on Thomas’ lap. “Kindly handle the curtains, you two,” she instructed drowsily.
“Yes ma’am.”
“You got it Miss bat lady, sir-oof.” Surprise rubbed her side where Honey had elbowed her. She frowned at her fellow applicant, bottom lip pushed out in a pout, but then she saw the way Honey was gesturing. Surprise turned to meet Silver’s disapproving glower and smiled apologetically. “Sorry.”
Silver offered no words, but gave the mare an admonishing look.
Thomas squirmed beneath the straddling bat mare as he tried to watch the attendants over her shoulder. Both were dressed in the maid uniforms he’d come to expect, though the skirts seemed cut especially short. The moment either of them lifted their arms put the bottoms of their bottoms on display. Thomas’ reactions to the unintended peek of such sexily dressed mares was greeted with Silver clenching her sphincter around his manhood. “You can be really greedy sometimes. You know that, right,” he accused softly, though not quite a whisper.
“I prefer to think of myself as opportunistic,” Silver corrected at a more conversational volume. “Any mare worth her teats would do the same.” Her words earned muffled chortles from the attendants as they opened the curtains, revealing the final rays of the setting sun.
“She’s right, you know.” Moonlight sighed and gave Silver’s shoulder a friendly shove. “She got you first this morning, so she gets to reap the benefits.”
“His sturdy stallionhood and your strong arms.” Silver shoved back, only stopping to rest her head on Moonlight’s breast and wrap a wing around her back. “Shame you’ll never know benefits like that,” she teased.
“Woe is me,” Moonlight bemoaned halfheartedly. “All I got were alicorn breasts for pillows and nimble little bat mare fingers in my…” she broke down into giggles, unable to finish the thought as Silver joined her.
Thomas’ eyes darted between the giggling naked mares in bed and the giggling clothed mares standing by the balcony. It seemed rather odd that his mares would be talking so openly, as if strangers weren’t eavesdropping, but that’s when it clicked. Moonlight and Silver weren’t just fooling around, at least not entirely. Their words were being chosen deliberately as part of the test for the newcomers.
“We should all count ourselves lucky.” Despite the dishevelment of her mane and fur, Luna stood with the pride and authority befitting her position. “Life is a precious gift, and there is nothing grander than sharing it with those dearest to our hearts.” She smiled fondly at those in her bed before facing the attendants. “I expect those in my service to celebrate life every day, to never treat this gift as anything less.”
“Nicely said, Princess,” Honey complimented, but it was clear she wasn’t meeting Luna’s eyes. “Yer words are-” Her attempt at flattery was cut short.
“Does that mean a party?” Surprise squealed. “This is kinda last minute. I’ll have to get supplies from my room. Oh. What kind of cake does everypony want? I’ve got-”
“Ahem,” Luna coughed, causing the attendants to stand straight at attention. “The thought is appreciated, but for now, would the two of you like to watch my raising of the moon?”
“Darn tootin’, Princess.” “You betcha.” The attendants exclaimed before running up to either side of the alicorn.
The bed’s occupants shuffled out from under the covers, stretching and popping their joints as they stood around the carpet. Thomas’ eyes roamed lazily from his lovers, to the attendants flanking Luna, down to his groin, and back to the attendants. Finally realizing that he was standing half-mast in front of strangers, even if they weren’t looking directly at him, Thomas turned his back to the others and hurried over to the dresser before anyone had noticed.
He quickly slipped on his loincloth, noting the way the slim piece of fabric seemed to instantly calm him down. Not so long ago he could barely step outside of Luna’s shadow, yet now he could turn to these strangers and present himself without shame, at least so long as no one decided to pants him. I’ve really come a long way, he remarked proudly. However, he did not move to join the others, remembering how things had played out with Silver on her first night, though he did position himself to get a better view of their expressions.
As it always did, the last rays of sun shone the brightest before flickering into nothing. The pure darkness was brief as the moon poked out over the horizon, shining its pale light across the land. With a wave of her hand, Luna brought the stars out from hiding as they glittered across the night sky.
“Wowey!” Surprise declared as she turned her body to follow her gaze across the sky, ending in her bending over to look down at the city below and unintentionally giving everyone behind her a nice view. “It’s so pretty.”
“Understatement of the year if Ah ever heard one,” Honey commented in awe. “Ah always thought the nights were pretty, but… Ah never saw ‘em like this before a few months ago.”
“Such seems to be the consensus,” Luna commented dispassionately, but those who knew her could hear the smile in her voice.
“Don’t go sellin’ yerself short, Princess. Ya’ll got a real knack fer this.” Honey waved her hand out in a sweeping arc, gesturing at the star-spangled celestial tapestry. “Ya can tell a lot about a pony by the way they work. An’ you, Princess, are a mighty fine mare, if Ah do say so mahself.” She and the Princess exchanged warm smiles.
I’m beginning to notice a pattern, Thomas thought. Everyone seems to start with complimenting Luna’s work, yet she never seems to get tired of it. Is she just fishing for the appreciation she didn’t get a thousand years ago?
“And you, Surprise?” Silver asked contentedly. “What do you think of our Princess’… What the hay are you doing!?”
While no one was looking, Surprise had somehow settled atop Luna’s shoulders. Like a child trying to watch a parade, Surprise’s legs kicked idly as she held on to Luna’s head for balance. “It’s just so… wooooow!”
Between Surprise’s boldness, Honey’s look of shock, and Silver’s frothing fury, Luna was hard pressed to contain her laughter as she grabbed hold of the pegasi’s ankles to hold them still. Silver saw the gesture and instantly calmed, but that didn’t stop her from trying to summon latent unicorn magic and set the pegasus on fire with her mind.
“You have quite a way with words, Surprise,” Luna giggled like a school filly as she watched the mare continue to look about in foal-like wonder. Some ponies had a way with words, but some preferred to show their appreciation in other ways. When Surprise looked down, the pair shared a soft nod before going back to star gazing.
Thomas had come to much the same conclusion as Luna, that just because Surprise didn’t put her appreciation into polished and carefully chosen words didn’t make it any less meaningful. Glad to see the system’s not entirely rigged towards one kind of personality. Thomas thought with a modicum of relief.
Star gazing came to an end, as it was time for Luna’s bath. Silver was quick to grab hold of Surprise’s tail and pull her aside, making it clear that what she’d done was terribly inappropriate. Surprise just bounced out of Silver’s grip, leaving the baffled bat mare to stare in morbid awe at the fake tail she now held.
Thomas found himself chuckling as the attendants could not get their maid outfits off fast enough, especially Honey. Seeing as swimsuits were only added for Thomas’ comfort, he’d already agreed that they were no longer necessary and that the mares should be free to be nude.
The pool was filled and Luna climbed in, motioning for her lovers to follow. With Moonlight there for emotional support, Thomas bravely jumped in when the attendant’s weren’t looking. He, Moonlight, and Silver sat across from Luna on raised platforms built into the bottom of the pool. Without express direction, Honey opted to begin scrubbing Luna’s arm while Surprise began brushing her mane.
“So Princess. I’ve never seen you with your mane down like this, before. How’s that work?” Surprise asked.
“Tis a simple enchantment,” Luna informed contentedly as the mares groomed her. “Centuries ago, I thought it a nice touch to help my sister and I to look more regal. We’ve been casting it ever since.”
“An’ yer fur’s so smooth,” Honey commented as she nuzzled her cheek against the Princess’ elbow. “That also an ancient alicorn secret? ‘Cause if not, Ah might know one or two ponies who could use some groomin’ tips.”
“No secret. The finest soaps in the land are a mere pittance compared to the marvels of proper exercise and a healthy diet.”
“You eat your weight in food every day,” Thomas pointed out as he washed Moonlight’s back and Silver massaged shampoo into his scalp. “I’m also not too sure if bi-hourly sex counts as real exercise.”
“Then you must not be doing it right,” Surprise commented, earning snickers from the other mares.
Thomas opened his mouth to protest, but decided the evidence was stacked against him.
“I certainly feel winded after a good rutting with you,” Moonlight offered sympathetically.
“What you lack in stamina, you make up for with creativity and enthusiasm,” Silver added.
“Ah hear that!” Honey beamed as she released Luna’s arm and slipped into the water to reach her leg. “Like Ah said, never underestimate the little ones. They’ll always take ya by surprise.”
“You’re welcome,” Surprise chirped.
The bath concluded, thus the next stop for Luna and her pair of lost puppies was the wardrobe. Redressing in their maid outfits, Honey and Surprise carried out their duties with utmost diligence under the watchful eyes of their peers. After preliminary vetting and their first interview, a pony applying as concubine was next sent to the castle servants to learn proper etiquette and their duties as attendants.
“Howdy, little fella,” Honey greeted as Thomas walked up beside her, though she kept the bulk of her attention on her task. “Need somethin’?”
“Not especially.” Thomas stood idly by her side, his eyes drifting from her work of slipping on Luna’s horseshoes to Surprise hovering around and straightening the regalia. “I was just letting you guys know that you’re doing a good job so far.”
“Mighty grateful to ya fer sayin’ so,” Honey tilted her head in a soft bow.
“I know I’m having fun,” Surprise cheered. “It’s like playing dress up with the biggest prettiest dolly ever!”
Thomas noticed the way Silver grumbled at the comment, but paid it no mind. “I was just thinking that, when Silver applied, I was told the Senior concubine is allowed to make the attendants jump through all kinds of hoops to test their worthiness for the job,” he said as his eyes drifted down to the rim of Honey’s skirt, a crazy idea forming in his head.
“Which you did not do, I might add,” Silver said, keeping her eyes firmly on the white pegasus as she flew about. “Granted that I am grateful you refrained from having me do anything terribly embarrassing, but in hindsight I feel a more rigorous test is necessary to vet for such a prestigious position. Applicants should be pulled from their comfort zones to better prepare for what will be demanded of them.”
Moonlight nodded. “I agree. We went through hazing in the guard to build character and comradery, and I think it really worked. I stand by my fellow guards like they were my family.”
“Oh. That was my favorite part of training,” Surprise chirped. “The exercise and sword stuff was neat, but I really liked getting to know ponies in all the hazing.”
“Such has been the tradition,” Luna commented, the corner of her lip curling into a mischievous grin. She had a good idea where this was going.
“Ah hear ya loud ‘n’ clear,” Honey gave an exacerbated sigh. “So don’t ya’ll worry none. Me’n Surprise are ready ta take whatever ya can dish out.”
Despite concluding that he had just received unilateral approval, Thomas was still uncertain and whispered his idea to Moonlight. He studied her expression for any sign of anger, disgust, or any of the other emotions polite society tended to have when they heard of such a thing. Instead, Moonlight seemed to be pondering the proposal with genuine thoughtfulness until she gave a silent nod of approval.
Now emboldened with express permission from his girlfriend, Thomas decided to follow through with his crazy idea and took hold of Honey’s left butt cheek. The earth mare squeaked in her throat, her back going stiff in surprise at the sudden contact. Suddenly fearful that he’d gone too far, Thomas quickly glanced back at Moonlight, finding only mild amusement.
“M-Mr. Thomas?” Honey asked, sounding more confused than hurt.
“Honey,” Thomas began experimentally, slightly more confident in himself and his action. “What was that you were saying about a pony and her work ethic?” he asked with a cocky grin as he softly patted the mare’s muscled backside. “If there’s one thing I’d like you to take away from this, it’s the importance of multitasking. You’re gonna be dealing with all kinds of distractions, so you’d better learn how to keep focus.”
With renewed determination, Honey nodded swiftly. “You got it, boss. Any backwoods mule can say they want somethin, but it takes real gumption ta see it through. An’ that’s exactly what Ah plan to do.” She returned to her previous task with greater vigor than before.
Thomas sighed, thankful he hadn’t just committed sexual assault.
“May I?” Moonlight asked, walking up beside Thomas, “Hazing doesn’t just come from officers, you know.” He nodded and she grabbed hold of Honey’s other ass cheek. “Hmm. Very nice,” she appraised.
“Think so?” Thomas asked.
“Very much. You can tell by the give beneath your fingers.” She demonstrated by squeezing extra hard, earning a cute squeak from the earth mare. “This is the rump of a mare who’s worked hard her entire life.”
“Darn tooten!” Honey agreed.
“I was just thinking that. Reminds me a lot of yours.” With his free hand he grabbed hold of Moonlight’s bare bottom, digging his fingers into both mares simultaneously. “Oh yeah. Definitely a pair of hard workers, here.”
Moonlight giggled from both the praise and the way Thomas’ touch tickled.
“Just out o’ curiosity, which’d you say is the tougher plot ta pinch?” Honey asked with only the barest indication that her butt massage was leaving her flustered.
“I choose not to testify, on the grounds that it might incriminate me,” Thomas stated matter-of-factly. Grabbing a mare’s bare ass under admittedly flimsy consent was one thing, but he wasn’t brave enough to go around saying his girlfriend’s butt was or wasn’t better than the one he was expected to eventually pound, especially when said butt belonged to such an intimidatingly tall and strong mare. Thankfully, a distraction came in the form of a moaning cry from Surprise. Looking up, the folks on the ground beheld the bum of Surprise being aggressively inspected by a distressingly delighted looking Silver as both mares hovered above Luna.
“Hardly any muscle here,” the bat mare criticized harshly. “Some ponies might like the added cushion, but a plot this soft won’t hold up in a real rutting. We shall need to train this one up,” she stated as her mind lit up with ideas.
“Hah! Shows what you know,” Surprise challenged, wagging her rear in Silver’s grip. “I’ve been rutted by plenty of stallions, and never once got a complaint. In fact, they all said they liked the extra cushion, even the mares. Even the ponies who said they didn’t go for the softer flanks said they liked what I did with mine. It’s not what you got, but how you use it,” she beamed proudly. “Besides, how many stallions have you had?”
Silver’s assault halted as she averted her gaze down to Thomas. “Um… one?”
Surprise followed Silver’s line of sight down to the human, only to look back with a beaming grin. The bat mare braced herself for the pegasi’s counter attack, ready to hear her flanks demeaned just like in grade school.
“Wow. So your first stallion was a Senior concubine, AND a super cutie?” Surprise exclaimed to Silver’s surprise. “Only a mare with a truly talented plot could do that.”
Thomas smiled as he saw Silver blush. What could have been a very uncomfortable moment had quickly been diffused by the poofy mare’s friendly personality. It was undeniably impressive.
“Enough of this idle speculation,” Luna declared in annoyance. “We shall be the judge of the suitability of these mares’ plots.” Both mares were encased in Luna’s magic and set down in the palms of her large hands. Their skirts actually did an adequate job of hiding what Luna was doing, but her audience had a pretty good idea of what was eliciting such moans and squirms from the mares. Face like stone, Luna decreed, “Fit and plump,” holding up Honey and Surprise respectively. “Both are fine examples of their respective qualities. Honey and Surprise. You should both feel proud of what you made for yourselves.”
“Th-thank ya kindly, Princess,” Honey stammered.
Surprise made several unintelligible noises before settling on a salute.
Smiling, Luna turned each of the mares to face her before planting a quick kiss to both their foreheads. It was Honey’s turn to mumble unintelligibly as she was nearly knocked from her perch by Surprise’s sudden wing boner. With a soft giggle, the now fully dressed Luna set the blushing blank-eyed mares down on the ground. “Goodness. Why must our first kisses always do this to ponies?” she bemoaned dramatically, but no one was buying it.
“Have you considered weaponizing them?” Thomas offered. “Your enemies wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“I’m almost certain there are treaties against weaponized love,” Moonlight interjected.
“Elements of Harmony,” Thomas countered flatly as he watched the semiconscious mares sway back and forth as if in a trance.
“We can discuss turning my lips into weapons of aroused destruction later,” Luna said dryly. “For now, why don’t you five order up something and just enjoy your night together.” With that, the Princess left her concubines alone with the attendants, thinking of little else but the report on their progress later in the evening.
Silver ordered a round of pancakes for everyone while Thomas and Moonlight were given the task of rousing the attendants back to full consciousness.
“They’re not responding,” Moonlight said worriedly as she shook Honey. “For Faust’s sake, I thought the weapon kisses were supposed to be a joke.”
“Maybe it wasn’t,” Silver suggested ponderously. “I wasn’t much better when Luna kissed me. Hmm.”
Thomas studied Surprise’s face carefully. She was grinning with a thin line of drool falling from the corner of her mouth. “They’re still thinking about the kiss,” he concluded. “Maybe we need to do something to shock them out of it, to get their minds on something else?”
“Like what?” Moonlight asked.
Thomas beamed at the unicorn. “Moonlight. Put your boobs in Honey’s face,” he ordered urgently.
Moonlight grabbed hold of her tits and pressed them around Honey’s muzzle, kneading them up and down to make sure the mare got a good feel of her breast flesh. The earth mare made a pleased humming sound. However, when it was over, Honey still looked entranced, and Moonlight looked down at her breasts with disappointment.
“Plan B.” Thomas announced and stabbed his fingers into Surprise’s armpits. She burst out laughing, much to his elation. Tickle fetish for the win! “There. At least that…” But he was unable to finish his thought. As he retracted his hands, the white mare calmed down, but reverted back to her mindless bliss. “Well fuck me,” he grumbled.
“Is that Plan C?” Moonlight asked in interest.
“No!” Thomas snapped. “I mean… we’ll save that for later.” Sex on the first day was a line he was not willing to cross, at least not anytime soon. “Let’s just think of something else.”
After a moment of silent thinking, Silver finally stepped forward. “If they’re locked in a state of joy because of Luna’s kiss, then it stands to reason the solution would be to counter the pleasure with pain.” At her instruction, Thomas and Moonlight bent their respective mares forward, heads down and asses in the air, as Silver got into position behind them.
Thomas watched with bated breath as Silver raised her hand high in the air, a sadistic grin on her face, only to bring it back down with a horrific *SMACK* that caused Surprise’s bubble butt to jiggle. He flinched, feeling a phantom pain in his own backside.
“Agh!” Surprise cried out. All eyes fell upon her, watching as her eyes watered and she reached back to rub her sore bottom.
“It worked!” Moonlight cheered.
“I have so many conflicting feelings right now,” Thomas admitted as he watched Silver move over to Honey and administer the same treatment. *SMACK*
“Son of a…!” As if by instinct, Honey’s hands pressed to the floor as her legs bucked behind her, narrowly missing Silver who fell back on her bottom. “What the hay was that for?”
“Luna kissed you!” Thomas reached for Honey’s shoulders and looked her dead in the eye. She was fuming in anger at the unexpected strike, but slowly calmed as she looked at Thomas, though her ears remained at full attention. “Luna kissed you both, and it put you in some kind of trance.” He gestured at Surprise, who was still rubbing her backside. “We were trying to break you out of it, but nothing worked until Silver…” he gestured vaguely in the bat mare’s direction, pondering the right words to describe her actions. “She saved you.”
With an indignant snort, Honey sat up and looked over at a very nervous Silver. “Ah appreciate the help, but Ah’ll thank ya kindly never to do that again.” The threat was unmistakable and Silver nodded urgently.
“Wowey!” Surprise cheered as she stood. “First day on the job and we’re already having a blast. Is there anything else planned?” She looked around eagerly.
“Plan?” Thomas asked as he too stood. “That’s a mighty strong word for us. At best we have ideas and trip over ourselves in the hopes they work.”
“Which happens surprisingly often, now that I think about it,” Moonlight added just in time for a knock at the door.
Breakfast was delivered and everyone sat around the table to eat. The pancakes had come with a wide selection of syrup, of which Honey had apple, Thomas and Moonlight had maple, Silver had coconut, and Surprise sampled a little of each.
Sitting between Moonlight and Honey, Thomas decided to be the one to break the ice. “How was training with Silver?”
“She says she’s not a secret drill sergeant, but I have my doubts.” Surprise narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the bat mare. “Either that or you just really like giving orders.”
“Probably the latter,” Thomas said, giving the mare a playful smile.
“Not exactly the kind of hard work Ah’m used to, but still pretty stimulating,” Honey said after swallowing her latest bite. “She had us dress, undress, ‘n’ clean each other about twenty times by mah reckoning”
“And what about you two?” Thomas asked, realizing that the attendants had barely said a word to one another. “How are you getting along?”
“Well, Silver thought it’d be a good idea fer us ta be roommates, so we’re sharing a bed.” Honey smiled at Surprise. “She’s a cuddler.”
“Aww. Thanks.” Surprise beamed and kissed Honey on the cheek. “You’re a really nice mare to cuddle with.”
“Are concubines sharing a room normal?” Thomas asked.
“Most certainly,” Silver stated plainly. “New attendants are often placed in the same room together to help encourage bonding.”
“Ponies are more physical,” Moonlight reminded Thomas. “A little bit of skinship goes a long way.”
“That not how humans are?” Honey asked.
“Kind of, but less so than ponies,” Thomas answered. “Personally I’m not the biggest fan of being touched by those I consider strangers.”
“Really?” Surprise chirped. “Because you didn’t seem to have much trouble with me in the interview.”
“That’s because I was the one doing the touching,” Thomas corrected, trying to keep his words firm and steady. “I know it probably doesn’t make sense, but please try to be patient with me.”
“Speaking of patience, what all did ya’ll try to wake us up before doin’…” Honey glared at Silver, “… that?”
Thomas chuckled. “Well, I remember the way you were looking at Moonlight’s chest the other night, so I asked her to put her boobs in your face.”
“An’ Ah missed it!?” Honey yelled despondently as she looked pleadingly over at Moonlight.
Without needing to be asked, Moonlight succumbed to the earth mare’s pleading pout. “After breakfast.” Her admission earned her a playful bat of the earth mare’s tail.
“And me? What about me?” Surprise asked.
“Thomas tried to tickle you,” Moonlight answered, her face scrunched in puzzlement. “You laughed and fell to the floor, but then you got back up and went right back to being in a trance.”
Surprise shrugged in acceptance. “Sounds like me. Anyway, what’s the non-plan for today? Got any tests lined up?”
Honey pulled at the collar of her dress. “If it’ll get us out of these frilly things, Ah’m all for whatever.”
Silver and Thomas met each other’s eyes until the bat mare nodded.
“For the time being,” Thomas began, “we thought it’d be best to just get to know one another on a more personal level. We invite you to join some of our routines; you let us in on some of yours, and things like that.”
“It’ll be easier for us to formulate proper tests once we understand your personalities better,” Silver added.
“That makes sense, Ah guess.”
“Sounds like it’ll be super dooper fun! What do we do first?”
Once they’d finished eating, Silver made their first task perfectly clear.
“That’s it, Honey. Work those elbows,” Silver instructed as Honey leaned down on all fours to better scrub the bathroom floor. “And Surprise, I don’t want to find even a speck of dust. Is that clear?” She instructed of the hovering mare as she ran a washcloth over the dresser.
“Yes ma’am,” the attendants announced as one as they diligently set about their tasks.
“Before you can be Luna’s bed warmers, you must first prove your dedication to the service,” Silver instructed as she adjusted the helmet Moonlight had lent her to look more imposing. “Do as you’re told with pride and obedience and maybe, just maybe, you will have the privilege of satisfying the Princess of the Night. Does that excite you?”
“Yes ma’am!”
“Good. Now, do the real maids proud and leave this room spotless,” Silver concluded as she walked over to the bed where Thomas and Moonlight waited.
“You’re enjoying this way too much,” Thomas remarked with a coy smile.
Silver handed the helmet back to Moonlight. “What was that you were saying earlier about this job and having certain things you’re not allowed to say?” she asked playfully.
“Fair point,” Thomas conceded. “But still, is this absolutely necessary?” He waved his hand in the general direction of the attendants.
Silver gave an even smile. “Absolutely. Things might have been a little lax with us, but I intend for these mares to know the full attendant experience.”
“You have to admit, it is a little tempting,” Moonlight admitted, her eyes fixated on Surprise’s bottom as the mare reached up for the really high places. “Having so many cute mares at your beck and call, that is.”
“That goes for you too,” Silver corrected. “Even if you’re just part time, you’re still a full-fledged concubine. That means applicants owe you the same obedience as either of us,” she gestured between herself and Thomas.
Thomas looked between the mares beside him and the mares at work, their ears perked as they eavesdropped. No doubt the pair were listening to every word their peers uttered, which was probably Silver’s intent. She wanted them to hear, to know that she had power over them. And while it was true that such control did have its appeal, Thomas couldn’t help but picture himself in the position of the applicant mares. “You know, if I were asked to go through all kinds of humiliating stuff, even to be with Luna, I’m not certain it’d be worth it.”
Silver stepped back, as though struck in the face. “W-what?”
“I appreciate the idea behind the tests,” Thomas explained as he hopped down and walked over to Honey. She’d paused in her scrubbing as she looked over her shoulder to face him. Ignoring the sight beneath her skirt, Thomas knelt down beside the green mare and began scratching her ears, smiling as she moaned. “But you can’t build a relationship on nothing but a series of obstacles. That just breeds insecurity, and we don’t need any more of that around here.” He grinned at his self-deprecating comment as Honey leaned into his touch, turning her head to grant him easier access as the others watched. “You need trust, understanding, and friendship. That’s what I have with you,” he looked back at Silver and Moonlight, “and that’s what they’ll need with us.”
Inspired by his words, Moonlight also stood and walked up to Surprise, motioning for the pegasus to fly down. There she mirrored Thomas’ actions as she caressed the white mare’s ears.
Silver could only stare in humbled silence. He might not be much of a leader yet, but he certainly has other attributes, she thought. Thinking back to the words she’d shared with Sun Dancer, Silver began looking on her situation in a new light. What if I’m not a full-fledged concubine after all? What if my tests are still ongoing, like they were with Thomas, and this is one of them?
“I promise there will be tests.” Thomas stood and motioned for Honey and Surprise to follow. Both mares left their cleaning implements behind, staying exactly three steps behind him until he stopped just in front of the bed and turned to face them. He sat cross legged on the carpet and gestured for the attendants to do the same. Moonlight and Silver stood behind the mares, wondering what the human had planned. “But I kind of like the idea of getting a sneak peek; a teaser to help build excitement for what’s to come. That’s always built my excitement for stuff in the past.” He grinned as the mares’ faces became flushed. “So then, Surprise, Honey, what would you like to have for your teaser?”
The attendant mares exchanged questioning looks while the concubines above shared more knowing ones. Testing their dedication might have been the point of the tests, but Thomas had, with surprising cleverness, just stoked the fires of passion in the mares’ bellies. He’d offered them the carrot to motivate their journey forward.
What was I so worried about, again? Silver wondered. He might have had a slow, awkward start, but he makes up for it with down to earth empathy. His diminutive size and passive mannerisms actually work in his favor to make the colt very approachable, the sort of colt even the proudest mare would have trouble resisting.
The attendant mares nodded and craned their heads to look up at the orange unicorn, their choice seemingly evident in their pleading eyes. Moonlight sighed sympathetically, understanding where their minds had gone on hearing the word ‘teaser’. If given a similar choice, there was no doubt that she’d pick the same. All eyes turned on Thomas, giving the human the same sense of imminent doom this amount of female attention always did.
“I just now realized what I offered,” Thomas deadpanned. He tried to stand, but Moonlight was too fast, setting her hands on his shoulders as she slid down behind him.
“Thomas?” Moonlight asked.
Thomas gulped as he locked eyes with Moonlight. She was asking his permission, he knew. There was still a chance to get out of this. However, as he looked over to face the hungry looks of the mares dressed as maids, he quickly found his will to withdraw waning. A look back at an equally hungry Moonlight finished the job, making him feel very tight in his loincloth. This had been one of the fantasies she’d shared with him, of her, the big strong mare, holding him, the tiny innocent colt, down while other ponies had their way with his body. Deciding that these mares probably wouldn’t settle for anything less than access to Luna, Thomas muscled past his reservations and slowly parted his legs.
Surprise and Honey stared in wide eyed wonder as the stallion’s treasure was made clear for their visual consumption, the human’s hesitancy only adding to the arousal of the moment. However, much to the surprise of all, when the mares dove forward, they went for Thomas’ head instead of his groin. Each mare planted a firm affectionate lick across either cheek before withdrawing.
Thomas blinked. Their tongues were large, rough, warm, and very wet. Were his arms not restrained, he’d have had to resist the urge to wipe his cheeks clean of the large saliva trails they had left. Honey had blown on his ear before retreating while Surprise pressed her nose against his cheekbone in a brief nuzzle, which he supposed was indicative of their personalities.
“Thank ya kindly, Mr. Thomas,” Honey beamed as she sat upright. “However, me ‘n Surprise think we’ll wait ta earn our rewards.”
“Yep. That way it’ll be more fun.”
“Ah figured you was the sensitive type, but don’t go worryin’ ‘bout us.” Honey pressed her fist to her chest. “A couple strong mares like us can hold our own. No sweat.”
“Probably a lot of sweat,” Surprise corrected. “Especially if we’re doing it right.”
“Point taken,” Honey agreed with a soft laugh.
Thomas released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and smiled at the mares. He pulled forward and Moonlight released him without a fuss. They’re not like me, he realized, looking at the pretty mares with newfound understanding and stood, casting them in his shadow. “You don’t want to be coddled. That’s something I can appreciate. However, that doesn’t exempt you from speaking up if you feel uncomfortable. Are we clear?”
“Yes sir, Mr. Thomas,” the mares said in unison, though Surprise added an extra “Sir,” out of habit.
Thomas looked past the mares to Silver, giving her an approving nod. “I do believe someone was putting you two through your paces.”
Silver barked the mares back to their hooves in an instant, sending them back to cleaning with a renewed vigor in their hearts as Thomas and Moonlight watched.
After Silver had declared the room in satisfactory condition, Moonlight dressed in her armor and they departed. With Thomas and Silver in the lead, Moonlight kept a half step back and to the left of her charge, and the attendants remained three steps behind the main group at all times. Their formation held all the way to the gym where they broke off into groups to begin their morning exercises.
“Won’t working out too much get our uniforms all sticky?” Surprise queried.
“Trust me, my dear,” Silver said with a semi-masochistic grin. “A sweaty uniform is going to be the least of your troubles.” She licked her lips. “I intend to train up that pudge of yours to be worthy of the Princess.”
Surprise squeaked her apprehensive consent and they were off.
Thomas’ party had an entirely different set of issues to contend with. Honey, on top of being an earth pony, had been working hard labor for the majority of her life. It also probably didn’t hurt that she was an Apple. Her strength was utterly ridiculous. Most machines she took on at full weight with barely a grunt of effort. The gym’s usual crowd, which consisted largely of guards, either backed away in intimidation or were spurred on to push themselves to the limit. Thomas was leaning towards the former, feeling very inadequate before the green mare.
“Don’t sweat it, sugar.” Honey nudged his shoulder cheerily. Apparently all this exercise had only given her more energy than when she started. “‘Sides, that ain’t nothing compared to what Plow can do.”
“Lucky me,” Thomas replied flatly as he rested his own weights.
“This ain’t a competition,” Honey said sternly. “Ah’m an Apple. Heavy liftin’ comes with the territory, so don’t go getting down on yerself just ‘cause ya can’t do what Ah was bred fer.”
Moonlight came up to Thomas’ side, ready to offer her comfort, but paused when she examined his expression. There was no despair or disappointment as she’d seen in their earliest gym sessions. Maybe he looked a little envious, but he didn’t seem like he was putting himself down, at least as far as she could tell. Instead, it looked like he was thinking.
“You were bred for strength, but what about softness?”
The earth mare tilted her head in befuddlement. “Pardon?”
Thomas hopped up from his machine and stood beside Honey. “You’ve got strength, probably enough to finally give Lu-Princess Luna a challenge,” he corrected as a grin grew on his lips. “But how are you at control?”
“Ah don’t follow.”
“Hey you. What’s your name?” he called to a rather buff looking earth mare.
“Baked Buns,” she answered. “I work in the kitchens.”
“Really?” Thomas was taken aback. Even at a second and third glance, she really looked like she was better fit for the military, but that was neither here nor there. “Whatever. Could you come here a second? I want to test something.”
Figuring she had nothing better to do at the moment, the buff naked mare walked over to the odd grouping of the concubine, maid, and armored guard. At the human’s instruction, they moved off to a low traffic area where the chef and maid got on their bellies and readied themselves for an arm wrestling match. However, this wasn’t to be an ordinary competition.
“Alright, guys. For this first round, Baked, don’t resist. Just let Honey push your hand down.”
Baked stared quizzically at the feminine looking colt. “Okay?”
“And Honey. You’re going to push her hand down, but it must take exactly ten seconds.”
Honey looked equally confused. “Just what’re you playin’ at?”
“Just a hunch,” was all Thomas would reveal as he lined himself up and sat across from where their elbows sat. “On go. One. Two.” His words seemed to tap into the mares’ inner competitive sides as the muscles in their hands tensed. “Three,” he said with a hint of warning, reminding them they weren’t supposed to compete normally as they relaxed. “Aaaaand… go!”
The swift thud of the kitchen mare’s hand hitting the floor was felt several yards away.
Honey’s glee of victory quickly fell once she realized what she’d done. “Oops.”
“Try again,” Thomas sighed. “Remember, ten seconds. Ready? One. Two. Three. Go!”
It was the same as before.
“Sorry.” Honey’s ears splayed in embarrassment.
“No problem.” Baked grumbled, rubbing at her sore elbow and wrist as she stood. “I think I’ll go back to my room and reflect on doing favors before I know what I’ve gotten myself into,” she said curtly as she walked off.
“I think I see what’s going on here,” Moonlight interjected, “but I’ll let Thomas explain.”
He grinned down at Honey. “We’ve been here for about half an hour. You’re pretty much in the zone when it comes to physical exertion, but not so much for self-control.”
Honey’s ears stood at attention as she started to understand.
“The reason I got an earth pony as your opponent was that I didn’t want you to rip my arm off,” he admitted. “You seemed to have pretty good control when we shook hands the first time, being gentler with me and rougher with the others, but that was when you were fairly calm. Now, right now, your body’s geared up for hard labor, ready to go all out on whatever gets thrown your way. That might be fine if it’s the Princess or any other earth pony, but what happens if the thing thrown your way is me or Silver?”
Both Moonlight’s and Honey’s ears splayed at the mental image, although the former was pleased by her stallion’s observations. While she’d reached the same conclusion at about the same time, she was impressed by the marked improvement to his situational awareness.
“Even Surprise might be on the big side, but she’s still a pegasus,” Thomas lectured on. “That means her bones aren’t that dense. If you’re not careful, I’m worried someone could get hurt.”
Honey sat up on her knees, forcing Thomas to look up to see her dower expression. “Ah learned control with apple trees, how ta kick em just right so they drop their load without breaking in two, but Ah know ponies ain’t trees,” she said as Thomas shook his head in agreement. “Course that’s mostly muscle memory, anyway. Mah body knows just how much ta put in a good bucken kick, but…” she trailed off.
“You’ve never been asked to do something gentle in the middle of a work session,” Thomas finished.
“E’nope,” Honey agreed with a chuckle. “Even hugs from mah family felt like we was tryin’ ta crush each other. An’ when it came time ta do the softer stuff, like handlin’ papers ‘n’ such, we were always given a little bit ta cool down ‘n’ take it easy.”
“I can only speak from personal experience,” Thomas clarified, “but I’m guessing it’s pretty common in groupings for everybody to kinda bounce around from partner to partner, right?”
“E’yup.”
“So there’s not gonna be much chance for a cool down, is there?”
“E’nope.”
“Then that’s where we’ll have to focus,” Thomas concluded by offering his hand.
Honey’s eyes darted warily from Thomas’ face to his hand. “Seriously? After everythin’ we just said?”
“Thomas?” Moonlight asked with equal wariness.
“Just use your fingers if it makes you more comfortable,” he advised, but she still leaned back and he eventually withdrew. “Fair enough. I’ve got some ideas on a few exercises we can try, but I’m thinking what you need is to talk to Steel Hoof or some of the other earth ponies in Celestia’s harem.”
Honey smiled kindly at Thomas’ understanding. “Ah’d appreciate that, sugar.”
Meanwhile, Silver and Surprise were having a… different sort of moment.
“Push it, you overstuffed doughnut!”
“I’m pushing, ma’am. I’m pushing!” Surprise whined. She’d been doing reps at this machine for several minutes and Silver had just increased the weight.
“Are you?” The crack of flesh against flesh downed out Surprise’s squeak of pain as Silver slapped the white mare’s bottom. “Just look at that jiggle. It’s like you’ve got jelly instead of bones.” Despite her derision, Silver caught herself focusing on the ripples of flesh far more than was strictly necessary.
“Ma’am, no ma’am.”
“What was that?”
“Ma’am. My bones are not made of jelly, ma’am.” Surprise’s military side was in full gear.
“Then what are they made of, doughnut hole?”
“Ma’am. Spirit, ma’am.”
“Spirit?”
“Ma’am. The spirit to never back down and do whatever it takes so I can give Princess Luna the best party of her life, ma’am!” This declaration was met with numerous cheers from the lunar staff. Their words of encouragement gave Surprise her second wind as she redoubled her reps.
“Surprise,” Silver said much more gently.
“Ma’am. Yes, ma’am.”
“I believe the Princess is going to like you.”
Surprise’s grip suddenly faltered as the machine snapped back into rest with a loud clang. Her white cheeks were tinted pink from both the embarrassment of her mistake and from Silver’s words. “Y-you think so?”
Grinning softly, Silver’s smile suddenly turned wild as she surprised Surprise with another smack to the bottom. “Only if we get this plot in shape. Are you with me, soldier?”
Surprise stood and saluted. “Ma’am. I will work my plot to the bone and gift wrap it for the Princess, ma’am.”
“Careful,” Thomas cautioned as the tips of his fingers glided over the bottom of Honey’s fuzzy breast, forcing her to stifle her giggles.
The green mare sucked in a breath to settle her nerves. She wore her full maid uniform, but the front had been lowered to allow her breasts to spill out. In her left hand she rotated an apple taken from the kitchens. The idea was to hold onto it for as long as possible without crushing the poor, innocent, scrumptious fruit; all while playing a friendly game of checkers with Moonlight. The task proved especially daunting when, every so often, her teacher would tease her nipple with a surprise pinch.
Several taps came from the board as Moonlight advanced her red piece to the other end. “King me.”
Honey sighed and flipped the piece over for Moonlight. “Yer good,” she said without resentment and advanced her own black king piece, taking one of Moonlight’s.
“And you’re getting better,” Moonlight replied, taking her turn and prepping her next assault. “Each game you last longer and longer. You’re building quite the tolerance.”
“Nnngh!” Honey sealed her lips, muffling her moan as Thomas gave her nipple an especially hard pinch. “It ain’t easy, but we Apples know how to endure.”
“I’m being paid to do this,” Thomas deadpanned as the mares regarded him. “This isn’t in the job description, but I’m on the clock, so that means I’m being paid to be a distraction by pinching a mare’s nipples while my girlfriend watches.”
Moonlight shared a look of confusion with her opponent. “And? It sounded like you had something more to say.”
“That’s just it,” Thomas said with an uncertain laugh. “I really feel like I should, but I think I’m learning to endure, too.”
Moonlight leaned over to the side and grinned at Thomas. “At least your body’s not becoming numb,” she tittered.
Thomas followed his unicorn’s gaze and reflexively shot his hand to cover his loincloth sealed crotch, earning further giggles from both mares. He glowered at them both for laughing at his expense. “Oh haha. Very funny.”
Moonlight grinned appreciatively at Thomas’ sarcasm. It was the tone he used when he was playing along and wasn’t hurt. Since moving in together, the unicorn had gotten much better at reading her stallion’s emotions. She could usually pick up on when he was being down on himself, but thankfully his really low moods had become few and far between.
“Well Ah certainly think it’s funny,” Honey stated as she made her move. “Ah can kinda get the whole nudity ‘n’ sex thing ‘n’ not wantin’ ta share that with strangers, but she’s yer herd mate for Faust’s sake. It ain’t like ya got anything she hasn’t already seen before.”
Frowning, Thomas gave Honey’s nipple an especially long and hard pinch. “I grew up all my life like this, and conditioned responses take a little bit to grow out of,” he argued.
“Besides, I like that he wears clothes most of the time.” Moonlight made her move. “I think it adds a dash of mystery, like there’s something worth hiding. On top of that, being one of the few who gets to see it makes me feel rather privileged. Your move.”
Honey hummed in frustration as she surveyed the board. Moonlight had backed her into a corner and left her with few pieces to work with. It looked like the end was, once again, nigh.
“What about that piece there,” Thomas pointed to the far right corner where a lone black king stood, waiting to be taken out by Moonlight’s superior numbers before the final charge.
“What about it?” Honey did not hide her disappointment, defeat evident in her tone. “There’s nowhere I can move. The edge of the board is to the top and right, so I can’t advance, and there’s a solid line in back so I can’t retreat. That little guy’s just sittin there waiting ta be taken.”
“What about to the left?”
“Hey. No cheating!” Moonlight countered.
“Sorry, Moon, but I am technically on her side at the moment. That alright?” he asked, cupping the bottom of Honey’s breast as he studied his mare’s expression. Moonlight’s bemusement lingered only a second longer before she made a relenting huff.
“Fine,” Moonlight conceded. It made sense to let Honey know that Thomas was on her side, that she could trust him, not to mention she was probably in need of a good morale boost by now. “If you think it’ll help, I’ll let you be a team.”
Honey’s elated smile grew as she looked again at Thomas’ recommended direction. Moonlight’s pieces had been aligned just so, such that she was internally kicking herself for not seeing it earlier. Eagerly, she took hold of the piece she’d written off as a goner and sent it advancing to the left, taking out five of Moonlight’s pieces. “Hot dawg!” she exclaimed, only for her fingers to grip around the red fruit and send juice flying out in all directions. “… oops.”
Thomas smiled flatly as he pulled back. Being so close, he had taken the brunt of the mess as clumps of apple and juice ran down his face and chest. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, so at least he didn’t have to worry about getting his clothes sticky.
“Ah am so sorry!” Honey stood from her chair, her bare, sticky breasts bouncing from the sudden movement. “Ah… uh…” After a brief moment of panic, the mare rushed off to the bathroom and retrieved a towel. After quickly wiping herself down, she proceeded to dab all across Thomas’ frame as she continued to murmur a steady stream of apologies.
“Relax, Honey,” Moonlight reassured as she stifled her laughter. “A little apple juice isn’t going to make him melt.” She leaned forward and propped her chin up on her hand and elbow as she watched. Despite her words, Honey was still frantic as she dabbed across Thomas’ body. He resisted, for all that was worth against the earth mare’s might. Moonlight gave another chuckle when she spied the reluctant acceptance on Thomas’ face. It was cute.
Finally the task was done, and Honey stepped back to examine her handiwork. “Sorry again. Ah’ll do better next time. Promise.”
Thomas ran his hands over where the juice had been, relieved that his body wasn’t sticky. When a faint whiff touched his nostrils, he held his arm against his face and inhaled deeply. “And now I smell like apples.”
“See? It ain’t all bad,” Honey pointed out uncertainly. She still looked nervous, and that was upsetting her teacher.
“Moonlight.”
“Yes, Thomas.”
“What’s that thing you do when I start to get down on myself?”
“Varies,” she answered nonchalantly, knowing where this was going. “My personal favorites are the hug and firm slap to the plot.”
“Right.” Thomas nodded. He gave Honey a look and earned a grimace of anticipation. She knew where this was going, too. The crack of flesh on flesh set the mare’s cheeks rippling as she yelped. Before she could respond, Thomas grabbed her by the elbows and sat her back down in the chair from earlier. Her herding impulses had kicked in, compelling her to go along with the one in highest authority. Now on eye level, he lunged for the mare and wrapped his arms around her neck.
“T-Thomas?” Honey asked timidly.
“Honey,” Thomas replied into her furred neck. “If I find out you were just pretending to be upset to trick me into a hug…” He paused to let her imagination run. “… I’ll be very upset that you didn’t just ask for one directly.”
Smiling, Honey reached around the human and pulled him close, her bare breasts squishing against his chest. “Where’s the fun in that?” she asked. “Hugs are better when they’re earned.”
Moonlight also smiled. “With all due respect, I’m afraid I must disagree. Hugs should be given freely, not earned.”
“Maybe, but Ah still think it’s more fun this way,” Honey said as she nuzzled into Thomas’ shoulder.
Eventually Thomas retrieved a spare apple and they resumed the game. Despite her comeback, Honey still lost, but managed to keep the apple intact.
**********
Meanwhile, in the sex dungeon, Silver had tied Surprise down to a table with her head down, arms out, and ass high in the air. Tonight’s weapon of choice was a long wooden stick with a feather attached at one end and a paddle at the other. Its name was Spanky. She spun the stick in her hands as she walked around the table, smiling menacingly as her subject’s eyes followed her teacher’s every move.
“I honestly don’t know why I bother,” Silver commented disinterestedly as she fiddled with Spanky. She wore thigh high boots and a red and black corset that allowed her nipples and vulva to poke free. Her gloves were a shiny black leather and her mane had been tied back in a bun. “Night after night we train, but I don’t think you’ve lost even an ounce of fat.” She idly stroked Spanky’s feather across Surprise’s cutie mark, earning a muffled whimper from the gagged mare.
“Nnnngh!”
Silver grabbed a handful of Surprise’s red marked rump, the student’s butt flesh spilling over as the teacher sank her fingers in deep. “Honestly, what am I going to do with you?” She blew softly against the large white cheeks, earning a muffled squeal from their owner.
“Nnngh!” This moan sounded more pleading than the last, almost apologetic.
Feeling playful, Silver held up the feathered end of Spanky and began gently tickling an inch away from the white mare’s clit. As Surprise squirmed, Silver nuzzled the mare’s plump cheek affectionately, continuing to blow on her puckered anus.
The bat mare grinned sadistically as the pegasus writhed under her expert touch. “How does it feel?” Surprise’s moan sounded more urgent now, a testament to Silver’s work. As dom, she’d made great progress in learning to make the sub beg for it, to demand that the dom take control and guide the sub to bliss.
Surprise began grunting urgently, surprising Silver by gesturing with her head to the far wall. The bat followed her line of sight and beheld the clock.
“Is it that time already?” Silver smiled in disappointment as she suddenly thrust two fingers into Surprise’s snatch, pistoning in and out of her with a sloppy haste. “Sorry, sweetie,” she purred. “I lost track of time, so I’m afraid I can’t tease you like I’d planned to. I guess we both still need a bit more training,” she tittered. “Still, it’d be terribly cruel of me to end our session without finishing you off first,” she consoled. Surprise screamed into her gag, her buns jiggling with anxious need, until finally she sprayed her juices all over Silver’s hand. At last Silver began undoing Surprise’s bonds. “My, how time does fly.”
“It sure does,” Surprise chirped happily when her gag had been removed, neither panting nor showing any other sign that she’d recently climaxed. “But I’m sorry I’m not losing the weight. I really am trying, honest. I’ve gone on diets before, but my body’s just always managed to retain its squishability.” Her words sounded surprisingly sincere, like she really was remorseful for disappointing her trainer.
“It’s quite alright,” Silver reassured as she tenderly, appreciatively ran her fingers over the mare’s rump. “To be honest, the thing is growing on me.” To Silver’s surprise she felt a tiny tremor reverberate from the pegasi’s bottom, which she suspected might have been some expression of gratitude. Not wanting to dwell on the matter, the bat quickly undid the remaining bonds and helped her clean up. From there she pulled the maid uniform from the rack and hurried Surprise out, just in time to be face to face with Honey. The two mares greeted warmly with soft kisses to the cheek, as had become their custom, before walking past one another.
The group had established a routine of alternation. Thomas and Silver would teach Honey and Surprise in the mornings, respectively, and then switch in the afternoons. Moonlight stuck by Thomas, but would occasionally go with Silver if the bat agreed to lessons that could be carried out simultaneously in the same room. The unicorn was still a guard, after all, and refused to shirk from her duties to her stallion.
Honey surveyed the room, particularly the table where the lingering stain of Surprise’s juices still stood out, before she spied Silver and whistled. “Somepony looks mighty frightenin’ tonight.”
“Really?” Silver grinned and spun around for Honey’s viewing pleasure. “You don’t think it’s too much?” She’d committed herself to perfecting the act and every detail within it. Honey’s critique was as welcomed as any other.
“Shoot, filly.” Honey approached and tenderly ran her hands down the smaller mare’s bodice. “Ah might have ta start thinkin’ o’ getting one of these mahself.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you to say.” Silver smirked at seeing the way Honey’s hard nipples made themselves seen through the fabric, imagining what Thomas and Moonlight had done to earn such a reaction. “However, I hope you’re not expecting to butter up your teacher out of the night’s lesson.”
Honey stared flatly down at the bat. “Ya do realize there’s more than one way ta take that, right?”
“As soon as the words left my lips, yes,” Silver acknowledged with a firm nod and pleased smile. “Feel free to strip. We can begin as soon as you are ready.”
Honey nodded and quickly stripped out of her uniform, setting it on a clothes hanger so it wouldn’t get wrinkled. From there she followed Silver’s directions to tie herself onto the same table as Surprise. This left Silver to tie the last binds, leaving Honey belly up, arms out, and knees pulled tightly against her torso in such a way as to present her ass for ready use.
“This just feels so weird,” Honey giggled nervously as she tested her binds.
“Being on your back?” Silver asked idly as she retrieved Spanky. “You never tried different positions with Jona or any other mare?”
“E’nope,” Honey replied anxiously as she eyed the stick tapping away in her mistress’ hands.
“Hmm. Has Thomas not introduced you to his and Moonlight’s book? Surely you must have been expecting this by now?”
Honey averted her gaze. “They… read a little ta me.” She gulped audibly and shuddered. “It was… interesting.”
Silver cleared her throat.
“Mi’lady!” Honey corrected, remembering the rules.
Silver nodded her approval as she began to slowly circle around the bound mare. “Tell me, then. How are you enjoying your stay at the castle, so far.”
Honey was breathing heavily as her eyes followed the smaller mare around her. “V-very much so, mi’lady. Everypony’s been awful friendly.” A crack from Spanky in its owners hands jostled Honey’s thoughts. “Th-the food’s the best Ah had in ages, ‘n’ Ah’m not butterin’ ya up when Ah say the work ain’t bad either, Mi’lady.”
Silver licked her lips as she eyed the green mare’s body and ran a hand sensually down her thigh. “Lovely,” she purred. “And Thomas? How are his lessons fairing?”
“He’s been real sweet ta me, Mi’lady,” Honey groaned as she felt Silver’s fingers nearing her sex. “Him ‘n’ Moonlight both have been pretty patient with mah lessons. Ah almost never break the apple, anymooooore!” Honey cried out as she felt Silver’s hand begin brushing her sex.
“Hmm. Lovely,” Silver cooed as she played with her new toy.
**********
Surprise entered Luna’s chambers with a strut, pretending not to notice her audience as her hips swayed in the way she knew held universal appeal to both mares and stallions. Spotting a bit of lint in the carpet, she turned her back to her audience and bent over to pick it up. It took all her willpower to keep her tail modestly in place. After all, she might have been a bit on the lewd side, compared to most ponies, for applying for the highest position in the field of prostitution, but there was still an etiquette to be observed.
“Oh my god!” Thomas said in horror as he came up behind Surprise. He reached out, but dared not set his hands upon the mare’s rump, his eyes darting from red mark to red mark. “D-does it hurt?”
Surprise was momentarily perplexed by this question until it dawned on her how her plot must look. She straightened and faced Thomas with her usual perky smile. “No worries, little buddy. Silver and I were just playing.”
“Yeah but…” he gestured impotently at her now concealed backside. “That looks like it really hurt.”
“Yeah, but I’m a member of the Cloudsdale city guard!” Surprise set her hands on her hips and struck a pose befitting a statue. “We learn to fight through the pain, to do whatever it takes to complete the mission. And if it makes Silver happy to play a little rough with my butt, then that’s exactly what she’s gonna do!”
Thomas face-palmed. “You do know you’re allowed to refuse an order if you want, right?”
“Sure do,” Surprise answered with a chipper grin. “It’s real nice that you’re worried for me, but don’t get your undies in a twist. I know my limits,” she reassured. “If I’m not comfortable, I’ll say stop.”
“I know,” Thomas sighed in defeat. “You’re an adult and I should trust your judgement.”
“My stallion’s a real softy,” Moonlight commented affectionately.
Surprise’s face scrunched in puzzlement. “You think so?” She reached out and began pinching along Thomas’ arm. He pulled back on impulse, but decided to let her do as she wanted. “Hmm. There’s a bit of give, but he’s actually toning up pretty nicely.”
Thomas beamed at the compliment. “Thanks for noticing.”
“Now if you want softies,” Surprise yanked her top down, allowing her breasts to pop free. “Try these on for size.”
Thomas blinked in momentary surprise at the brazen display, but just smiled and shook his head in dismissal. He patted Surprise’s shoulder and resolved to learn not to let his guard down around this mare. “Just so I know what I’m working with, what’d you and Silver do tonight?”
“Well, first she tied me up. She doesn’t do that often, but I can tell she really likes it. Then she spanked me for a little bit before she started touching me with Spanky. I told you about Spanky, right?”
Thomas nodded as he fixed the mare with a neutral expression. It still seemed so weird how anyone could stay on full happy mode for so long. Logic demanded that even emotions needed to take breaks.
Surprise went into gratuitous detail of everything Silver did to her. Thomas tried to stop her, but she’d gotten into the spirit of storytelling and was talking a mile a minute. When she finished, she didn’t bother recovering her breath, but Thomas certainly felt exhausted.
“Moonlight,” Thomas gasped breathlessly. “What was tonight’s lesson?”
Moonlight also looked winded, but much less so than Thomas. “As a reward for last time, I think we agreed to let Surprise pick what she wanted to do.”
“Yay me!” Surprise pressed her wrists together and applauded rapidly, bouncing giddily as her pudge bobbed within her clothes. She came to a quick halt and donned a thoughtful expression, making her teachers grow anxious as they waited to hear her decision.
“Got it!” Surprise exclaimed, startling the others as she disappeared and reappeared across the room in front of Moonlight and set her hands on the mare’s shoulders. “I know what I want!” she declared as she bore down on the nervous unicorn with a manic grin.
(Some time later)
“Left hand blue,” Thomas informed.
“Hold on,” Surprise strained to say as she contorted her body to reach the desired spot. Her fingers grazed across Thomas’ inner thighs, causing him to shudder and her to giggle, until finally she found her destination. “Got it!”
They were all naked, as per Surprise’s instruction. She said it would be more fun this way. To Thomas’ relief, and a bit of secret disappointment, the white mare spent very little time staring at his alien anatomy before their game began. Aside from occasional brushes, many of which Thomas felt were a little too suspicious to be accidental, there was nothing overtly sexual about their game. It was all good, (relatively) clean fun between three friends.
The game ended with, to the shock of no one, Surprise as the victor. There was just no stopping her determination and, at times, unnatural flexibility. Afterwards, the three retired to the bed to rest.
“That was pretty good,” Surprise purred contentedly as she leaned against the pillows and caressed the human lying over her belly. “Hmm. You’re so warm.”
Thomas shuddered as he felt her fingers tease along his sides, deliberately avoiding any of his ticklish spots. He looked over to the unicorn beside them and smiled. “This is alright, right?”
Moonlight chuckled happily as she watched the pegasus stroke her stallion. “I’m happy you’re so concerned about me, but it’s really alright,” she assured. “You’re my stud of a stallion. It makes me happy to watch you make other mares happy.”
Watching his beloved, Thomas groaned as he felt Surprise’s tender fingers glide up his inner thigh and tantalizingly close to his groin.
Moonlight giggled at his reaction. “I also love watching you make those cute faces.”
“Well then,” Thomas sighed, “I guess there’s only one thing to do.” Without further warning, the spry little human lunged for the orange mare and jabbed his fingers beneath her armpits.
“Aaaah-haha!” Moonlight cried out as her body reflexively balled up to protect itself. “No fair!” She pushed Thomas away as best she could, only to give out another cry when Surprise joined in the assault.
The concubines and attendants were strewn about Luna’s chambers in various states of relaxation. Moonlight was at the desk, typing away at the typewriter after being struck with a bolt of inspiration, Honey and Silver were sharing a quiet game of cards at the table, and Surprise was functioning as bedding while Thomas nestled snugly on her bare belly while using her breasts for back support.
“Truly?” Silver asked as she adjusted her hand. “I have not heard of any pools.”
“Me neither, but we should totally go!” Surprise cheered. “Pool parties are the best.”
“I heard that they’re only just installing them. We’ve got some pools already, but they’re ancillary to the gyms, so they’re usually full of ponies working out. These new ones are purely for recreational purposes,” Moonlight explained. “Although, I’ve heard down the grapevine that there were a few built back when the castle was first constructed, hidden, and scattered around the grounds.”
“Down the grapevine?” Silver inquired skeptically. “So you do not know for certain?”
“It’s like an urban legend,” Moonlight added as she spun around to face the others.
Thomas flinched when Moonlight’s eyes fell upon him. Surprise was butt naked and he was in nothing but his loincloth. The white mare had patted her lap for him to sit down on her, which he knew was because she liked the feel of his bare skin, but Thomas had done so while Moonlight had her back turned. He was suddenly struck with a fear that he’d been caught going behind Moonlight’s back, that he should have asked her permission.
Moonlight’s ear flicked, which Thomas knew was often an indicator of agitation of some sort. That look, Thomas thought as he scrutinized the mare’s expression. She’s not mad, but she doesn’t look happy either. He swallowed nervously. Is she upset that I’m laying with Surprise and not her? As he pondered whether this was because his mare was feeling neglected, or perhaps like she wasn’t living up to her obligations as his fillyfriend, he remembered that Moonlight also liked mares. Or is she envious that she’s not nestled against a large, buxom mare while I am?
Whatever the case, Moonlight’s gaze upon her stallion was short lived as she turned to face the others. “Supposedly Celestia set up a bunch of hidden pools across the grounds that are only available to those that find them.”
“Ooooh!” Surprise cooed in obvious interest as she sat up, carrying Thomas with her. “An adventure!”
“Ah don’t buy it,” Honey declared dispassionately as she continued to play. “If somethin’ like that existed, it’d been found by now. Somepony’d stumble on it by accident one day, and then spread the word to all their friends the next. Then their friends’d tell it to their friends, and so on until the myth becomes fact.”
“I agree,” Silver stated flatly. “Besides, what would even be the point of building a castle with secrets that were meant to be discovered?”
“I heard that the original Castle of the Two Sisters was built as kind of a funhouse with slides and halls of mirrors,” Thomas added, recalling the show. “I think they wanted to add some fun to make the place homier, so the same could be said for here.”
“Sounds like fun!” Surprise chirped. “We should go look! First this castle, then the other.”
Seeing the looks of excitement on their companions’ faces, Silver met Honey’s eyes with a look of quiet resignation. They’d been outvoted three to two and both silently agreed to postpone their game.
“If we are to do this, then we should at least talk to Luna or any of the other concubines,” Silver stated as she flexed her wings. “I’d prefer to know whether this was a fool’s venture before we start.”
“Aww come on!” Surprise whined. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“She’s got ya there,” Honey stated, surprising Silver. “What? If we’re doin’ this, then we should do it right. That means no cheatin’ or lookin’ ahead. ‘Sides, Ah’ve been sittin’ still fer too long. Need ta get movin ‘efore mah fantastic muscles shrivel up ‘n’ die,” she explained as she stretched.
“Oh very well, then,” Silver sighed in exasperation. “I suppose, if you are all going to act like foals, I’ll act as your chaperone.”
“That’s the spirit,” Surprise cheered with applause, causing her body to bounce around and jostling Thomas.
The adventure began earnestly enough, following a service call from Luna, with the team getting properly equipped. Honey loaded up a satchel with apples and other snacks, but otherwise went naked. Silver wore only her loincloth, but carried a magical torch which would light on command. Moonlight also grabbed a few torches and latched them to her armor’s belt, along with a map of the castle. Surprise grabbed up torches, flares, hard helmets, wilderness survival booklets, an inflatable boat, a kayak with oars, a few fans, anti-venom and a wide variety of med kits, blue spray paint, a shield with the crest of a blue minotaur giving a thumbs up painted on the front, three suitcases, a single complete set of silverware, a pair of maracas, and a poster of Luna looking impressively refined and dignified while she had one hand groping her breast. She took all of these things and more, which Thomas figured was roughly twice the mass of her own body, and stored them neatly into her mane. Seeing this, and also experiencing a momentary mental shut down, Thomas couldn’t think of anything else to bring.
“Onward!” Surprise declared as she pointed a foldable fan forward and began leading the march down the hall.
“So where exactly do we start?” Thomas asked.
“I first heard about the pools from one of the cooks,” Moonlight replied. “We should start by asking her.”
“First?” Silver asked. “Does that imply there were other times?”
Moonlight nodded. “I talked with some other guards and they’d all heard the rumors too. Although, it was the cook who sounded the most knowledgeable.”
**********
“Oh. So you’re looking for the hidden pool, are ya?” The unicorn mare was dark of fur and kept her head hung low where her mane could obscure her eyes. She didn’t look especially old, but her voice had this odd creak and rasp to it, like she was in desperate need of a glass of water. A faulty lighting fixture overhead cast a peculiar shadow over her, giving her a most ominous appearance and contributing to hiding her features. She leaned against one of the columns in the otherwise well-lit and immaculate hall. Even the air around the faulty light had an eerie chill. “Interesting,” she said with a sinister smile, sending the willies out to all but the white pegasus.
Surprise nodded excitedly. “Yup. And Moonlight said you sounded like you knew the most.”
“Did that break recently?” Moonlight asked as she peered up at the light. “I don’t recall this area being so… spooky.” She set a hand comfortingly on Thomas’ shoulder, just as much for her own piece of mind as actual protection of her stallion.
“She speaks truly,” the dark unicorn said with a snicker. “You were wise to approach me first on your journey.”
Thomas tapped on Honey’s arm until she bent down to his level. “This is weird, right?” he whispered as goosebumps traveled up his back. This hall had become unsettlingly cold compared to the otherwise well-heated castle. “I’m not just missing something, am I?”
“E’nope,” Honey said flatly. “Definitely weird.”
Thomas nodded. “Good. Glad it’s not just me.”
“To find the mystical hidden pool,” the dark mare continued.
“The next step of your quest is to venture to the fifth floor of the east wing,” the dark mare explained. “There, across from a window overlooking the maze, you will find the door.”
“Okay,” Surprise chirped. “Thanks a lot.” And she led the others onwards.
After stepping away from the faulty light and leaving the dark mare behind, the group visibly relaxed as the temperature immediately rose several degrees. It was refreshing, like stepping into room temperature after spending hours out in the snow.
It wasn’t until a few seconds later that Moonlight turned back. “Hold on. I forgot to ask what… your… name…was?”
The faulty light was no longer flickering or casting it’s odd shadows, but the mare was gone.
“Did anypony hear her teleport?” Moonlight asked.
“I didn’t!” Surprise declared, almost sounding like she was bragging.
“And there are no doors nearby,” Silver added warily.
“Well she couldn’t have jus’ vanished, could she?” Honey asked. Silence was her answer. “Ya’ll, this adventure jus’ started ‘n’ Ah’m already gettin’ a bad case o’ the heeby jeebies,” she said with a shiver.
“Oh come on, Honey,” Surprise encouraged as she grabbed the other mare’s hand. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna chicken out before we even-”
“Who’s chicken!?” Honey snapped back. “Ah ain’t no chicken!”
I don’t know if Marty McFly would be proud or disappointed, Thomas thought.
“Come on,” Honey said as she snatched the map from Moonlight and opened it up, ready to take the lead as a proud member of the Apple Clan, only to falter and turn sheepishly back. “Uh, how do ya’ll read a map again?”
Surprise retook her position in the vanguard and proudly marched forward. As she did, Thomas couldn’t help but notice the way the previously disorganized mares were suddenly moving into formation, lightly pushing him until he found himself firmly in the middle. Surprise took point, Silver and Honey guarded the flanks, and Moonlight brought up the rear. Their ears pivoted this way and that in a state of high alert.
“Not that I’m complaining about being in the middle of a mare sandwich,” Thomas began evenly, “but…”
“Standard defensive formation,” Moonlight stated as she scanned the vicinity. “Stallions and foals in the center.”
“Ah,” Thomas said in understanding. The mares were just following their instincts and being protective of their males. There was no reason to feel patronized. Although, Thomas still didn’t care for the idea of just staying quiet while surrounded by all this lovely mare flesh, especially when they all looked so agitated. “So, does anyone know any good songs?”
Silver’s ears perked. “How about you sing one, Thomas. It has been a while since I last heard a human song.”
Thomas smiled. A number of nifty marching songs came to mind, but there was only one he thought would lift the mood. “Heigh hoooo!”
“Heigh hoooo?” Silver sang questioningly.
“Heigh ho,” Thomas repeated with a grin as Silver slowly caught on. “Heigh ho. Heigh hoooo. Heigh ho. Heigh ho. It’s home from work we go.”
Thomas and Silver led the song, the upbeat and simple lyrics soon being picked up by the others as they joined in. The singing worked exactly as Thomas had hoped, helping the group forget their fear and remember their enthusiasm from the journey’s beginning. Alas, Surprise seemed wholly unaffected, remaining exactly as perky and chipper during the song as she was before.
In no time the group arrived at their destination on the fifth floor and began examining how the windows looked relative to the maze below.
“Ah think it’s this one,” Honey called and the others assembled around her. The window was identical to all others in the hall with simple rectangular framing between the glass panes, modest purple drapes, and about four meters high. It was entirely unassuming and perfectly ordinary. “See. The maze is almost directly below us from here.”
“So then the door,” Moonlight began as she turned around to face the opposite wall, only to find a statue of Celestia. “Is… gone?”
“This is just a utility closet,” Honey said after checking the door to the statue’s left.
“Bathroom, if anypony needs it,” Silver added from the statue’s right.
“B-R-B!” Surprise declared as she ran past Silver with such velocity that it slammed the door behind her.
Thomas made a thoughtful sound as he looked between the window and the statue. “Well, this definitely looks like the right window, but…”
“Could that weird mare have been pullin’ our legs?” Honey asked, folding her arms under her ample chest. “Like, was this all some sort of prank?”
“Don’t think so,” Surprise answered from the bathroom. “She’d have jumped out laughing, or otherwise done something to indicate we’d fallen for it by now if that was the case.”
“Not if she’s the sort who just likes making people look stupid,” Thomas suggested as he walked up to the statue.
“A shame you forgot to get her name, Moonlight,” Silver said coldly. “Otherwise, I would have enjoyed tracking her down, that we may discuss things.”
Honey punched a fist into her free hand, making a loud and painful smacking sound. “E’yup.”
As Moonlight’s mind desperately searched for some way to calm the seething mares, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to her stallion. “Thomas. What are you doing?”
“Who is this?” Thomas asked from in front of the statue.
“Celestia,” Moonlight replied obviously. “Can’t you tell?”
“Not really.” Thomas scratched his chin as he examined the sculpture. “The body’s right, but the face is pretty generic. Not to mention the dress is hiding the cutie mark.” That got the mares’ attention. The importance of cutie marks in Equestrian society could not be understated. Virtually every form of clothing was tailored specifically to either show off a pony’s flanks, or have the mark stitched into the fabric. One of the few exceptions to this rule were the guard uniforms, and that was for the strictly practical purpose of defense. The idea of hiding a Princess’ cutie mark was borderline blasphemy.
“Except she’s an alicorn,” Silver pointed out, apparently having calmed down as she stepped up beside him. “The age of the statue predates Princess Cadence by several centuries, and if you cannot tell that this is not Luna…” she trailed off.
“Except it isn’t an alicorn,” Thomas asserted as he pointed up to the statue’s head. “See. The crown’s pointed, but there’s no actual horn.”
“Heavens,” Silver gasped in alarm. “I cannot believe I missed that.” She leaned forward for a closer look at the statue. “Good eye, Thomas.”
“Suspicious,” Surprise stated as she leaned between the two shorter concubines, startling them with her unannounced presence.
“Whoa!” Thomas cried as he jumped back. “Where’d you come from?”
“Well,” Surprise began. “When a mommy pony and a daddy pony love each other very very much, and maybe have too much to drink, they-”
“Never mind,” Thomas stated haltingly.
Surprise nodded and pulled out a magnifying glass, holding it up over her eye as she resumed her examination. “Hmm. Looks like Celestia, but clearly isn’t. What made you guys so sure it was her in the first place?”
“Look at her arms,” Honey pointed. The statue’s arms were outstretched in a show of welcoming. “Ain’t that, like, a classic Celestia pose, or somethin’?”
“Almost,” Silver added knowingly. “The base form is right, but look at the hand.” She pointed to the statue’s right hand, where the thumb had been folded over the palm, while the left hand had the thumb outstretched like normal. “My sister used to go on and on about her art history, and I can safely say that gesture is in none of the books she ever showed me.”
“So somepony made a mistake?” Moonlight asked.
“Good thing they gave us a way to fix it,” Surprise chirped as she reached out and moved the thumb into its proper place.
“Surprise!” Silver shrieked in disbelief. At first she was in utter panic at the mare’s blatant disregard for private property, especially that of the Princesses. It wasn’t until a half second later that she realized that the statute hadn’t been damaged by the adjustment of the thumb. “H-how did you do that?”
“You ask that now?” Thomas deadpanned, recalling at least a dozen times that question should have been asked in just the last few hours.
“I saw the seams,” Surprise stated plainly and grabbed the thumb again. “See.” She began moving the stone appendage, up, down, and all around. “It’s not all one solid piece. This part’s attached in such a way you can move it any way you like.” The white mare continued to smile, deciding not to comment on the light bulbs she saw flash over everyone’s heads.
“May I try?” Silver requested and Surprise stepped aside. The little bat then lined up the thumb until it was perfectly symmetrical with the other, and it gave a soft click. Silver jumped back with a start as the statue began to shake, only for the wall behind it to rotate until a hidden passage was revealed.
The new hole in the wall was a rectangular, dark, and foreboding passage. It looked bleak, with dust and spider webs coating the old bricks. There was a faint whistle as wind blew over the entrance. And, if one listened hard enough, the gentle drip-drip of water could be heard off in the dark, lightless distance. The wall that was actually a door was now half in and half out of the new passage, with the statue now facing to the side.
“Coooool,” Surprise said in awe.
“Ah’m gettin’ them heeby jeebies again,” Honey announced warily.
“Fascinating,” Silver awed as she examined the opened wall. “An actual secret passage!”
“I guess this proves the story is more than just an urban legend,” Moonlight concluded thoughtfully as she eyed the others. “So… now what?”
“We go in, silly!” Surprise proclaimed.
An eerie echo whispered out of the passage, sounding faintly like distant singing. It brought with it a chill that sunk into the group’s very bones.
“That’s not creepy,” Thomas stated flatly through a forced smile.
“I think that’s enough adventuring for one night,” Moonlight stated flatly.
“Oh?” Silver teased. “Where has that earlier enthusiasm gone?”
Moonlight grabbed Thomas’ shoulders and held him firmly to her armored belly. “Exploring the castle was one thing, but I’m not letting my stallion go skulking around in some dark, uncharted caverns that may or may not be booby-trapped.”
“I’m not a child,” Thomas muttered to himself.
“Thomas?” Moonlight’s voice was concerned. She feared she’d upset him.
“And while I’m not big on going in there either, I gotta wonder why someone would go through the trouble of hiding a door, then put traps in there,” he reasoned. “Aren’t secret passages meant for VIPs to move around unnoticed?” He really didn’t want to go in, but still felt the need to challenge Moonlight’s coddling.
“Usually, but they could still have traps to make sure no pony follows them,” Silver explained. “Which means the passage probably just leads to an uncharted escape route out of the castle.”
“Agreed,” Honey added. “‘Sides, what if Luna calls ya’ll up again while you’re explorin’? She’d get worried if ya’ll don’t answer.” Despite her logical rationalization, there was no hiding the way she was shaking as she stared into that black abyss.
With each passing argument, Surprise was looking more and more despondent. “Aw come on, you guys! Where’s your sense of adventure?”
She was answered by another ominous tune from the dark entrance.
“Pretty sure the spooky singing scared it away,” Thomas deadpanned. Moonlight and Honey nodded fervently in agreement.
Surprise’s mane deflated with the sound of air leaving a balloon as she slouched forward. “Okay, fine,” she relented.
“Surprise,” Silver said as she took a worried step towards the white mare.
“No no. It’s cool,” Surprise halfheartedly assured. “It’s no fun adventuring if your friends don’t want to come along.” She turned to face the way they came. “Let’s just…”
Off in the distance, the lights were flickering on and off, rendering large segments of hall completely black for brief periods.
“Heeby jeebies!” Honey announced. She and the other mares all assumed fighting stances, with Silver’s being the weakest, as Thomas was maneuvered to behind his guard.
Thomas grunted uncomfortable, paying no mind to the way his wrists suddenly ached.
The sound of a child’s laughter echoed down the halls as the lights continued to flicker, putting all on edge. Then a figure appeared. It was a small filly wearing tattered white robes. She had a long black mane covering her face. Her body was slanted at an awkward angle. This allowed her mane to fall off to the side and revealed a sinister toothy smile. She disappeared when the lights came on, leaving all to momentarily wonder at what they’d just seen. Then she reappeared when they blinked off again, giggling in a way that puckered many ass holes.
Moonlight’s horn lit and her signature shield manifested, taking up most of the hall. “I am Moonlight Shield of Princess Luna’s House Guard,” she announced authoritatively. “State your intent or I will be forced to expel you from this castle!”
“Uh, Moonlight,” Thomas cautioned, tapping at her arm.
“Not now, Thomas,” she whispered as the other mares slowly sidestepped towards her, grouping around her for protection. Even Surprise was looking quite serious now.
“Moonlight,” Thomas whispered more urgently.
“I’m a little busy right now!”
“But I really think you should see this!” he whispered more aggressively.
“Thomas!” Moonlight snapped as she peeked over her shoulder. “I said I don’t have time… for…” Her words were cut short when she saw down the opposite hall. Another spooky filly stood down the other end of the hall, identical to the first, disappearing and reappearing with the flickering lights.
“Got time for that?” Thomas replied snarkly, rubbing involuntarily at his aching wrists.
“Not good,” Silver stated in barely restrained panic as she glanced between the two figures. “Very not good!”
More lights flickered at either end of the hall, only to stop and become steady again. Hope was short lived as lights closer to the group’s position started to flicker. The fillies appeared beneath these new lights, now making jerky, uncanny movements. Then it happened again, with the old lights becoming steady and new, closer lights beginning to flicker. The fillies never budged from where they stood, but they were getting closer, hopping between the dead lights.
“Guys. Ah’m not sure Ah know how ta fight ghosts,” Honey informed with her fists raised.
“Who ya gonna call?” Surprise announced as she whipped out an oar and wielded it like a spear. “No seriously. Who do we call for this?”
“I can only make one shield at a time,” Moonlight said through gritted teeth as she backed up. The lights were flickering closer by the second. “Any ideas?”
“Door!” Thomas cried out as he grabbed Moonlight’s wrist and tugged her towards the secret passage. “Now!”
Without any other available options, the group turned as one and hauled ass towards the entrance. The lights flickered closer again, bringing the giggling fillies only a few lamps away.
“How do ya close this thing!?” Thomas asked as he began groping the nearby walls. “Everyone search!”
Everyone did, pressing their hands all along the available wall space as the lights flickered again.
Only one lamp to go. The fillies’ giggling became even louder as it echoed through the stone passage.
“Hurry!” Moonlight cried as her magic swept across the walls.
“Whoops,” Surprise stated as she slipped and fell onto her rump. The sound of stone sliding against stone reverberated all around the group. The plate the mare was sitting on sank into the ground and the door spun closed. Just as the last lamp flickered off, the stone apparatus sealed shut with a loud thud, followed by the shrill screams of defiance of the ghosts on the other side. Then it faded, leaving the group in darkness and silence.
Silver lit her one torch and held it up. It flickered with a soft, blue flame. “Everypony alright?”
“E’yup.”
“I’m good.”
“Same here.”
“My tushy’s sore.”
“Fantastic,” Silver deadpanned as she waved the torch around. The passageway was dry with black bricks making up the walls and curved ceiling. There was no trace of dust and the bricks all looked to be in pristine condition. It was wide enough for about four ponies to walk shoulder to shoulder, but only barely tall enough that Honey’s ears touched the ceiling. “Hmm. Too small for anypony but me to fly.”
“And it looks like there’s only one way to go,” Moonlight observed as she pointed into the distant abyss.
“Oh, so now you want to go again?” Silver retorted irately.
“Now that there’s no choice, yes!” Moonlight countered as the two mares entered each other’s personal space. Each was posturing aggressively and looked like they were on the verge of trading blows.
“Whoa now,” Honey cautioned as she positioned herself between the two and held them back. “Let’s not get our tails in a knot over nothin’.”
“Nothing? NOTHING?” Moonlight screamed as she gestured impotently around the hall. “W-we’re…”
“Adventurers!” Surprise announced with a bounce, her mane back to normal. “We’re adventuring again, exploring sights unseen,” she said while hunching over and scanning the empty dark, “trekking where no pony has trotted in who knows how long,” she marched in place, “and just having a swell time with the ponies we love!” She finished by scooping up everyone into a surprisingly strong hug. “What could be better than that?”
“Are you crazy!?” Moonlight snapped as she struggled out of the hug. “In case you haven’t noticed: We. Are. Trapped!” Her voice echoed down the dark corridor as her horn lit.
Surprise kept her smile, seemingly unfazed by Moonlight’s comment.
“I can cast spells, but something in the walls is blocking my SOS call.”
“Convenient,” Thomas retorted dryly.
“No. Not convenient,” Moonlight growled up at the ceiling. “We’re trapped in Faust-knows-where with some sort of poltergeist chasing after us. What about that sounds even remotely convenient?”
Honey cleared her throat. “Well, if yer magic can’t get through, then doesn’t that mean the ghost can’t get through either?” There was a brief pause as the others considered. “Ah mean, that’s why she didn’t come in after us, right? ‘Cause, like, ghosts can usually go through walls and stuff?”
“I… guess that makes sense,” Moonlight conceded, calming down a bit. Thomas, not saying a word, came around her side and grabbed her hand. The two shared a look for a moment before the mare whispered a soft, “sorry.”
“Plus there’s all my supplies,” Surprise as she removed part of the kayak from her mane, only to push it back in. “That’s pretty convenient.”
“Seriously. Is no one going to comment on that?” Thomas asked from beside Moonlight, only to fume at being ignored. “Fine. Whatever.”
“And it’s not like we’re out in the middle of nowhere,” Surprise continued. “We’re in Canterlot Castle. Somepony will notice we’re missing and look for us eventually.”
“We should stay put,” Silver insisted. “That’s the first rule of being lost. You stay put and wait for your rescuers to track you down.”
“Ah agree. We should stay put,” Honey stated with a firm stomp to the ground, only to trigger another pressure plate. The walls rumbled with the sound of sliding stone and the grinding of unseen gears. “Uh oh.”
The floor gave way and the group let out a unified scream as they slid down the new tunnel. The passage was too narrow for either flyer to spread their wings and the slide too slick for Moonlight to get her bearings long enough to cast any manner of spell. The mares and man just slipped and slid back and forth, frequently colliding with one another in the most awkward of ways, many of which involved Moonlight apologizing, until finally they slid to a halt on level ground.
Naturally, Thomas found himself in the center of the mare sandwich. He had been pressed waist deep into Honey’s large, muscled backside, earning an involuntary physical response as she felt her anus being prodded. Atop the earth mare sat Surprise, giggling as she felt the human’s cheeks brush between her thighs and his breath tickled her marehood. Moonlight’s armor had somehow dislodged from her body in the fall and was strewn about the floor, while her butt cheeks sandwiched around the top of Thomas’ head and leaving her breast to breast with the pegasus. This left Silver, the least crushed of the group, with her nose wedged tightly between Thomas’ butt cheeks.
This happens way too much to be a coincidence, Thomas thought as he mused about his current situation.
They quickly disentangled themselves from one another and brushed the dust from their bodies. Silver relit her torch. The new corridor, while made of the same black brick, was much smaller than the last. Now not even Silver could take flight as the ponies huddled together in the cramped space.
“Again. I’m so sorry,” Moonlight plead as Honey rubbed her backside.
“Nah. It’s what Ah get fer not lookin’ where Ah step,” the earth mare murmured as she reached back to rub where she’d been stabbed. “Jus’ give me warnin’ next time before ya try somethin’ like that.”
“So what do we do now?” Silver asked as she stepped into the new darkness, lighting it up to find only more of the same.
“I think we should keep going,” Surprise offered.
“She’s right,” Moonlight agreed. “The block is still up, but I completely lost my sense of direction on the slide. I doubt anypony would be able to find us here.”
“Well, there’s that,” Surprise agreed nonchalantly. “But I was mostly referring to that.”
The white mare pointed and the group looked back towards the slide, causing their collective blood to go cold. There stood the twin fillies, mirroring each other as they craned their bodies awkwardly off to opposite sides. Together they reached up to brush their manes out of their faces, revealing black, empty sockets where their eyes should be. “Hiiii,” they greeted cheerfully. “Wanna play?”
**********
The group had run for a solid half hour, at speeds which would put most sprinters to shame, before the adrenaline finally petered out and they collapsed to the stone floor. Surprise fished out several water bottles from her mane, each sized perfectly to quench the thirst of the person with their name labeled on the front.
“The hall’s smaller,” Honey whined as she tried to stand, only to be forced to bend her knees to keep from hitting the lowered ceiling. “Ah feel cramped.”
“Same,” Silver agreed as she stretched out her wings, touching the tips to the walls. “This adventure just keeps getting worse and worse.”
“Aww, don’t be like that,” Surprise cheered as she pushed her way through the others, muttering several apologies along the way, until she was by Silver’s side. “Ya gotta keep a positive attitude, or else nothing’ll get better.”
Silver folded her arms and turned away with a huff.
Recognizing that look of stubbornness, Surprise resorted to what some might consider dirty tactics as she scooped the mare up in a powerful hug, wedging the bat’s entire body between her bountiful pegasi bosoms. “Pleeeeeeease?” Her dame had taught her this trick. It was a secret technique passed down from mother to daughter. The principal was to pull a pony close to a mare’s heart, an experience universally shared by foals, and surround the irate pony in warm, maternal love until they’d calmed. *
Silver was also familiar with this technique. However, such foreknowledge was less than sufficient to prepare her for Surprise’s onslaught of affection. She relaxed, hating herself for giving in and being so easily manipulated, but soon she felt the fight dissipate from her completely. “Oh fine,” Silver conceded with a blush on her cheeks.
“Great!” Surprise turned to face the others. Even without using her hands, her passenger still remained in place betwixt her ginormous mammaries, not looking very pleased. “Sooooooo…”
“So?” Silver grumbled as her legs swung limply below.
“How we gonna do this?”
They decided to adapt their earlier formation to the tighter space. Surprise retook her place in the lead, wielding a torch in her mane. Then went Silver, Honey, Thomas, and Moonlight and her glowing horn to take up the rear. And thanks to the tunnel’s smaller ceiling, everyone wordlessly decided to just walk on all fours.
Seriously, this can’t be a coincidence, Thomas thought as he stared up at Honey’s enormous green ass, nicely illuminated by Moonlight’s horn.
“There’s somethin’ ta be grateful for,” Honey commented as they trekked. “At least the view’s nice.”
“Thank you,” Silver said sincerely.
“I can’t complain either,” Moonlight added as Thomas could almost hear her smile.
“I can,” Surprise whined.
“But you’re like the white light at the end of the tunnel,” Thomas implored as he tried in vain to peek around Honey. “Like a beacon of hope guiding wary travelers onward.”
“Awwwwwwe! You’re so sweet,” Surprise cooed.
“While I agree,” Silver began, “I cannot help but wonder where we are right now.”
“Let’s piece this together rationally,” Moonlight suggested. “What do we know so far?”
“Ghosts like to play really really mean pranks,” Surprise answered.
“Hard to argue with that,” Moonlight admitted. “What else?”
“This tunnel is super cramped,” Honey added. “What would anypony need with somethin’ this small?”
“I doubt this is simple maintenance,” Silver dismissed. “And I think we can rule out an escape route for VIPs. There’s no way an alicorn is fitting in a place like this.”
“Right. So someplace an alicorn would never need to be,” Thomas noted. “That’s… heated?” he noted as he examined the stone beneath his hands.
“Oh, he’s right!” Honey cheered. “Ah hadn’t even noticed that.”
“So we’re someplace where ponies are supposedto be skulking around,” Moonlight concluded.
“And we were on the fifth floor in the east wing before going down a ways on that slide,” Thomas remembered as he tried not looking at Honey’s supple backside. The last thing he needed was for the mares to get distracted by his arousal. “I’m guessing that probably puts us somewhere on the first or second floor.”
“Not necessarily,” Surprise countered. “That slide was a doozey. I don’t know which way we went, but I’m pretty sure there were parts that sent us up a whole floor at a time.”
“I’m pretty sure momentum doesn’t work like that,” Thomas argued uncertainly.
“Unless the slide was magical,” Moonlight suggested.
Thomas hung his head in defeat. “Unless the slide was magical,” he sighed tiredly. Because magic futzes with everything. “So we could be literally anywhere in the castle?”
“Pretty much,” Surprise chirped. “Oh hey!”
A series of collisions and grunts followed until Thomas came to a stop lip-to-lip with Honey’s marehood. The warmth of her backside had consumed his entire face. He would have pulled back, except that Moonlight collided with him as well, running her horn along his ass crack and tearing his loincloth, all while she pressed him tightly against Honey’s rear.
Oh yeah. Someone is definitely planning this.
“What was that?” Moonlight asked.
“I found a bit,” Surprise answered, earning groans of annoyance from the others. “It’s right here on this pressure plate.”
“Oh please Faust, not another one!” Silver bemoaned.
“Surprise!” Moonlight barked. “Whatever you do, don’t touch that plate. Nothing good can happen.”
“You sure?” Surprise called back.
“Very!” Moonlight asserted.
“Okay, but the other reason I stopped was because this is a dead end.”
“Please tell me you’re jokin’,” Honey whined.
“Nope. See for yourself,” Surprise offered.
“Ah can’t! Your butt’s too big,” Honey countered.
“I see it,” Silver announced as she crouched low to the ground, staring between Surprise’s legs and dangling breasts. “That’s definitely a wall.”
“Ah think maybe Silver and Thomas could turn around, but Ah don’t think there’s enough room for the rest of us,” Honey observed. “And it’s not like we can jus’ walk backwards the way we came.”
“She’s right,” Surprise agreed. “Not a lot of options right now.”
“Hey Surprise,” Thomas called. “That bit still there?”
“Yep. Haven’t touched it.”
“We’ll flip for it. Heads we take our chances with the plate, tails we try walking backwards.”
“Might as well,” Silver agreed tiredly.
“Then here goes,” Surprise announced, only for the sound of stone sliding against stone to echo down the hall. “Um, guys…”
“What?” they asked as one.
“I think that coin was acting as some sort of counterweight, deliberately planted to trick ponies into removing it and activating the plate’s switch,” Surprise quickly explained, followed by an audible gulp. “Brace yourselves!”
The floor once more gave way as the group plummeted straight down. The passage was still too tight for either flyer to spread their wings and Moonlight was still unable to properly ground herself. Fortunately, unlike last time, this passage quickly opened up into a nicely lit area. Unfortunately, the group was unable to enjoy it for very long before they hit the ground with a splash.
… splash?
That was definitely the sound Thomas heard from his current entrapment. He had fallen into something soft and was wedged in on all sides by something squishy and warm. There was give as he pressed his hand into one of the masses, but it popped back into place the moment the pressure left. The ground beneath him was also warm, but firmer than the masses surrounding him. When the human’s ear caught the familiar rhythm of a heartbeat reverberating all throughout the masses, he instantly recognized their familiar feel. “Boobs,” he muttered to himself. “I’m in boobs.”
Really, he was surprised by how surprised he was. After all that he’d been through in their little adventure, ending up anywhere else would have been the real shocker. Even so, that still left the question of who’s boobs he was currently trapped in. Thomas had felt a lot of boobs since coming to Equestria, but he couldn’t quite place who these belonged to. He kicked his feet, finding that they were free and that only his upper half was encased. That gave him a rough idea of size, putting this rack set well into the top three of mares he’d seen thus far. He tried to pull himself backwards, but found something was holding him in place. At the sound of a soft, feminine giggle, he assumed that something to be his captor.
“Well, if that’s how you want it,” he said, resigning himself to his fate. “Then here I come.” Thomas pulled himself forward, crawling inch by inch on his elbows through the chasm of boobage. He likened this to an army obstacle course where you had to crawl under barbed wire, and gave serious consideration as to which exercise was the more strenuous. After what felt like way too much effort, the human finally found the light at the end of the tunnel and poked his head free.
“Well hello there,” Celestia greeted with a serene smile.
“… what?”
“Thomas!” Moonlight called out as she waded through the water. “Are you okay?”
“Fine… all things considered,” Thomas admitted as he took in his surroundings. Past the beautiful visage of Celestia’s smiling face, it appeared that the Princess was floating on her back in a large body of water. Everything was a mix of gold and white, from the shimmering waters, to the blazing lamps, to the marble columns surrounding the outskirts of the… pool! It finally occurred to Thomas that they were in a near exact replica of Luna’s bathing pool, though this one was clearly made for a different Princess.
“Hey chimp,” Talon greeted with a friendly salute from her spot on one of the pool steps. “How’s it hanging?”
“Tightly,” Thomas answered curtly.
“I noticed,” Celestia replied with a musical giggle.
“Everypony appears to be unharmed,” Sun Dancer stated plainly as she sat on the edge of the pool with her legs crossed, sipping from a tiny tea cup and looking very proper.
“They’re later than you said,” Steel Hoof commented as he swam past, doing a rather relaxed backstroke. “You’re slippin’ Celestia,” he teased.
“Does somepony care to share what’s going on?” Silver asked from somewhere Thomas couldn’t see.
Celestia sighed contentedly as she backstroked over to the edge of the pool. There she sat up, carrying her prisoner with her, as she looked out at the assembled crowd of solar concubines and lunar intruders. “To put it simply, I’m afraid you have all fallen victim to one of Gemini’s pranks.”
“Gemini?” Thomas asked.
“The twin fillies you no doubt saw on your way here,” Celestia reminded as she gently booped Thomas’ nose.
Ya know, from the other side, that’s pretty annoying.
“You mean that ghost?” Silver asked. “Why is there a ghost in the castle?”
“I’m afraid that’s a common misconception,” Celestia corrected gently. “Gemini is a simulacrum, an artificial magical consciousness that helps with security around the castle.”
“That was Gemini?” Moonlight asked in disbelief. “I thought she was supposed to remain hidden at all times.”
“She is,” Celestia sighed as she rolled her eyes.
“Can we back up a second,” Thomas asked from between Celestia’s mighty bosoms. “Who’s Gemini again?”
“Ah’d like ta know too,” Honey concurred as she waded through the water towards Thomas and the Princess. “What the hay was that thing and why do ya let it roam freely?”
So I’m not the only one who’s ignorant, Thomas thought. That’s a nice change of pace.
“Gemini is the most advanced magical construct in recorded history, the product of centuries of advanced research,” Celestia explained. “Luna and I built her for our original castle, raising her since she was little more than a magical seal into the powerful construct she is today.”
A familiar giggle echoed around the bath, causing the lunar intruders to tense in fear. The solar servants, however, merely rolled their eyes or gave other signs of moderate annoyance.
“Fear not my little ponies,” Celestia assured as she held out her hand, only to smirk at the non-pony, “and others.”
“Great acknowledgment,” Talon remarked sarcastically.
“As I said, she was built for security as an advanced warning system,” Celestia explained. “She can manifest a projection of any form she likes with which to communicate with others. Her preferred form, oddly, is a pair of twin fillies, though she rarely speaks to strangers.”
“I’m pretty sure you said something about us falling victim to one of her pranks,” Surprise reminded evenly.
“Except for pranks,” Celestia confirmed with a giggle. “She has a weakness for those.”
“How’d she get you guys?” Talon asked.
“Well…” Moonlight began timidly. “I heard that there were secret pools hidden around the castle.”
“Ah. One of her favorites,” Celestia tittered. “She’s lured in more than a few unsuspecting ponies to their fate with that line.”
“Fate?” Thomas asked as he glanced from side to side at the smooth, massive mounds of flesh still holding his body in place. “And why is there a secret passage leading to your bathroom? Seems like a security risk.”
“Gemini handles more than just security, as I hope little Moony can explain,” Celestia answered.
Moonlight tried to sink into the water where not so many eyes would be upon her. However, it was clear that the nearby concubines weren’t having that as they moved in around her, threatening to lift her out if she didn’t do so herself. She complied and made herself as presentable as the situation would allow. “We were briefed in training. Gemini also handles castle maintenance, sort of. She can create, change, and remove whole hallways and rooms as needed. She’s basically the castle’s consciousness, though she’s not supposed to be able to do anything so extreme without proper authorization.” The mare finished by fixing an accusing glare on Celestia.
“True,” the Princess giggled playfully, unconcerned for her niece’s ire. “Her abilities are quite limited unless she is given not only approval, but a smidgen of alicorn energy from an available Princess.”
“P-Princess?” Silver stammered. “Did you…?”
“She said there was this group of ponies looking to alleviate their boredom, and asked if she could send them here,” Celestia explained. “I said ‘yes’, and here you are,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I admit, though she didn’t tell me who she was luring, I had a feeling it was you lot.”
“Lesson learned,” Honey declared. “Never take directions from strangers again, ‘specially creepy ones!”
“True enough,” Celestia confirmed with a shrug, only to give a soft moan as she hugged her arms under her chest, compressing them around Thomas' trapped frame. She giggled. "I can see why my sister enjoys playing with you so much."
"Much appreciated," grumbled Thomas in annoyance.
"If you'd like, I'd be happy to have one of the other pools cleared out for the evening for a private swim," the Princess offered. "The lot of you have certainly been through enough to earn it."
Moonlight slumped, making waves in the water. "With all due respect, I think we'd all just like to go back to our rooms and rest."
Celestia sighed in disappointment. "They don't make youths like they used to anymore."
As she rested on her belly on Thomas and Moonlight’s shared bed, Honey diligently sounded out the words of the sentence. “And. Then. She. Took the… sc-sca-scahaaa,” she strained to say.
“Break it down,” Thomas encouraged from beside her. “You got the first part down. Use your finger like I showed you.”
Honey nodded and placed her finger over the first part of the word. “Aaab. Aaa-buh… buh… bard?”
“It reads like ‘bird,’” Thomas corrected.
“Sca-ba-ird. Scabbard!” Honey exclaimed. “And then she took the scabbard!”
“Knew you could do it,” Thomas said as she shook the mare’s shoulder.
They’d been at it for about an hour. While Silver and Surprise were out doing their thing, Thomas had decided to make good on his promise to help Honey read. He’d even bought her a practice book, an abridged Daring Do novel marketed for foals learning how to read.
“Ya know, this would probably go a lot better if you got an actual tutor,” Thomas reminded for what was probably the twelfth time.
Honey frowned and faced away. “Ah don’t trust them educated types, ‘specially if they’re unicorns.”
“What’s wrong with unicorns?” Moonlight asked in warning. She was sitting across from the bed with her back to the others as she typed away on her and Thomas’ book.
“Now don’t make it a tribe thing,” Honey complained. “You know. You’re a Canterlot… ian?” she said uncertainly. “You know how full of themselves unicorns in this town can be.”
Thomas kept his mouth shut as he watched for Moonlight’s response.
Moonlight grimaced and gave a reluctant sigh. “A bit prejudiced, but not entirely inaccurate,” she admitted.
“See!” Honey stated, sounding like she’d won the argument.
“Still, that doesn’t change the fact that Thomas is right,” Moonlight continued. “You’d be doing much better with a trained tutor.”
Honey grabbed hold of Thomas and pulled him in close to her chest. She was wearing her maid uniform, but the feel of his bare skin was still nice. “Ah like the way Thomas teaches.” She leaned in and took an audible sniff of his hair. “‘Sides, he smells nice.”
Thomas blushed from the compliment, but kept his eyes on Moonlight.
Moonlight smiled good-naturedly as she shook her head. Seeing no reason to argue, she turned back to the typewriter and went back to work. “If you say so.”
His mare’s relaxed reaction put the human at ease as he cozied up against Honey. Thomas still experienced moments of doubt when it came to the polyamorous inclinations of ponies and how he fit in it. Mostly he’d watch either Moonlight or Luna, using their reactions to gauge the propriety of what he did or allowed others to do. Thus far, ponies continued to surprise him with their incredibly high tolerance of just about all forms of intimacy. However, he still kept his guard up, just in case. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt those he loved.
“And I say that I’m still impressed that you can smell so strongly of apples without using some kind of special shampoo,” the human commented.
“Work long enough on an apple farm, it kinda rubs off on ya,” Honey explained proudly as she went back to looking at the book.
Thomas nodded and joined her. “I just hope I’m not teaching you any bad habits.”
“Eh. Ah don’t expect ta be writin’ Shake Spear any time soon,” Honey said with a shrug. “All Ah want is ta pick somethin’ off the shelf ‘n’ start readin’ on mah own. That,” she added, “an’ not look so dumb when readin’ them fancy menus.”
“Then I’d recommend learning from Silver next,” Thomas informed. “She’s one of the few I know who can read that much cursive.”
Honey chuckled and messed the human’s hair. “Funny colt.”
The next hour passed in relative peace as Thomas coached Honey through the pages. They broke once for lunch and once more for Luna’s booty call. Afterwards the officially tired concubines were only able to collapse on the bed, unable to resume their prior work.
Smiling sympathetically at her tired friends, Honey cozied up beside Thomas and pressed him between herself and Moonlight, glad that the other mare was too tired to put her armor back on. “Hard work, huh?”
“Unusually so,” Thomas panted happily. “I guess she’s just feeling especially amorous tonight.”
Moonlight could only giggle to herself.
Honey smiled flatly as she braced herself for her question. “Ah know this stuff’s top secret ‘n’ all, but…”
“What did we do?” Thomas asked, still wearing a goofy grin as he stared straight up at the ceiling.
Honey nodded gingerly.
“For starters,” Thomas began, “she ate Silver ALIVE!”
Honey covered her hand over her mouth to hide her chortles. “Oh wow. That sounds like fun.”
Thomas just beamed at her. “What’s funny is you think I’m exaggerating.”
At the evenness of his expression, the smile slowly faded from Honey’s lips. “But ya are, right?”
Thomas just stared back at her, unblinking. The look she gave made it hard not to smirk.
“Oh Faust,” Honey whispered in a mix of horror and curiosity. However, that passed soon enough after Moonlight cracked, bursting out in a fit of deep belly laughs. She was followed shortly by Thomas. “Oh thank Faust,” the earth mare sighed in relief. “Ya’ll had me worried there for a sec.”
“R-really?” Thomas asked after coming down from his laughing fit.
“Well, yeah,” Honey chuckled nervously. “Ah mean, just ‘cause she eats meat don’t mean she eats live ponies, right?”
Thomas and Moonlight shared a look. The question on both their minds was whether or not it was yet appropriate for Honey to know about Luna’s inclinations just yet. After a moment, they shared a nod.
“Right?”
The pair turned to face Honey as Thomas explained. “She hasn’t done that, but I’m pretty sure she wants to.”
Honey blinked in disbelief.
Moonlight swallowed nervously. “She’s been dropping more and more hints how ‘delicious’ we are, so I think she’s working up to asking us.”
Thomas grabbed Moonlight’s hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. “Luna’s what humans call a vorephile, someone fascinated by the idea of consumption,” he explained. “It’s something that doesn’t really exist outside of pictures and stories, but I guess magic allows for all kinds of weird stuff.”
“Hush,” Moonlight hissed chidingly. “Don’t call her weird.”
“Why not? I’m into vore too, so its okay when I do it,” Thomas explained. “You’re the one who’s not allowed to call it weird.”
With maturity and poise, Moonlight blew Thomas a raspberry.
“So,” Honey resumed, smacking her lips together. “Luna might want ta… eat me, like mouth ‘n’ stomach ‘n’ all that?”
“Not if you’re not up for it,” Thomas assured as he grabbed Honey’s hand too. “Moonlight’s uncomfortable, too, so she’s exempt. Luna only did that stuff with me and Silver because, like I said, I’m a weirdo who’s into that, and I think Silver has some psychological impediment keeping her from refusing anything Luna asks for.”
Honey visibly relaxed at the human’s words. “That’s a relief,” she sighed. “Ah mean, Ah ain’t gonna say ‘no’ right off the bat before givin’ it a try. Ah could, ya know, watch ‘n’ see how it goes.”
Oh yeah. She’s curious, Thomas thought appreciatively.
“If vore is physically impossible for humans, how did you discover your interest with it?” Moonlight asked.
Thomas smiled contentedly as he flexed his grip on the mares’ hands, hoping to show his appreciation rather than speak it. These mares were genuinely curious, asking from a place completely devoid of judgement. No way I’d ever have the nerve to tell anyone this back home.
“In hindsight, I guess I kinda always was,” he began. “I always really liked toys of animals with mouths and hollow insides. I’d pretend to feed other toys to them.” He glanced between the mares, checking for any signs of disgust or disapproval. There was none, so he continued. “Then, like most people, I guess, I stumbled on pictures on the internet.”
“That’s that magic forum thing you were tellin’ me about, right?” Honey asked.
“Yeah. A forum’s a good way to put it. People can post whatever they want from wherever they are in the world, everyone else can see it, and it’s all anonymous.”
Honey frowned. “Sounds like an excuse for jackasses ta give everypony a hard time.”
“In many ways, yes,” Thomas conceded. “But yeah. One day while doing a random search, I came across this video of a giant woman trying to eat this regular sized woman. There wasn’t any blood, but I found it pretty scary and I kinda went into a crisis of conscience for a bit. I guess it stirred up some feelings that I didn’t know how to deal with at the time. Anyway, I was so freaked out that I tried doing everything I could to distance myself from that sort of thing.” Even started reading the bible a lot more. That’s how freaked out I was. “Later, after I’d calmed down, I looked up the video again and found some of the related content. One search led to another and, well, I figured out I like vore.”
“And you did this all on your own without anypony’s help?” Moonlight asked.
“Never told a soul,” Thomas confirmed to the apparent displeasure of both mares.
“Well that just ain’t right,” Honey declared flatly. “Impressionable foals figurin’ themselves out need somepony they trust ta talk to.”
“I’m still not completely clear on human sexual views,” Moonlight added. “Did your parents or school tell you anything?”
“Well, yeah,” Thomas admitted. “My parents went over the basics and school went over the technical stuff. Everything else we’re kind of left to learn on our own.”
“By the anonymous jackasses on the net?” Honey asked, disapproval more than evident in her tone.
“I want to say that’s a gross exaggeration,” Thomas began uncertainly, “but that’s basically true for a lot of people.”
Moonlight tsked. “You really had to learn about your own preferences anonymously?”
Thomas sighed. “That’s kinda what weird people do. We like things that are weird, so we keep it to ourselves so those close to us don’t look at us funny and usually only share it with people we know can’t find us.” Like admitting you like clop.
“Well Ah’m glad we ponies aren’t so stuffy ‘bout what comes natural,” Honey boasted. “Mah folks were always there for me for whatever Ah needed. When they weren’t, which wasn’t often, Ah could jus’ go to mah other relatives.”
“Same,” Moonlight added. “Honestly, I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to go through my first heat without their support.”
“Well keep in mind I’m weird even by human standards,” Thomas reminded gently. “And that’s before all the sexual stuff. I know some parents are more open about that sort of thing. Maybe mine would have been if I just told them, but that kind of talk was never easy for me.”
“Yer talkin’ now,” Honey pointed out with a soft smile.
“It’s different with you guys,” Thomas said dismissively as he waved his hand around. “Also just this whole place. Everyone’s just so open about everything that, after a while, the weird stuff doesn’t look so weird anymore.” He hummed thoughtfully. “It’s hard to feel weird when you’re surrounded by other weirdies.”
“Oh you,” Moonlight chided as she playfully pushed him away.
“Hey, keep ‘im away from me,” Honey laughed as she pushed him back.
In retaliation, Thomas stabbed his fingers into the mares’ tickle spots, earning howls of laughter. Their spat didn’t last long, as the human and unicorn were still recovering from their earlier exertion. It ended with both Thomas and Moonlight pinned beneath Honey’s impressive bulk. There they stayed for a while, just studying one another in close contact as Honey did what she could to keep her weight from crushing the others.
“It’s a funny thing,” Moonlight stated. “I’ve read how other races view ponies as so conformist because of our herding instincts, but it seems humans have it even stronger.”
Thomas hummed as he thought. “In a way, I guess. I think it’s true that, in any given society, the majority are going to conform to the norm while the outliers do their own thing. Sometimes it takes guts to do that. Other times you’re just weird and find a way to deal.”
“Ah know what that’s like,” Honey said sympathetically as she clambered off the others, allowing them all to sit up. “Foals at school were always givin’ me a hard time, callin’ me stupid jus’ ‘cause Ah had trouble with the readin’. Ah could do the math stuff just fine ‘n’ Ah usually remembered what the teacher said, but…”
Thomas put a hand on Honey’s knee and looked into her eyes. He couldn’t find the words, but hoped the action was sufficient. Based on her warm smile and warmer lips against his, he figured he did well enough.
Moonlight also watched with a smile. “I’m so proud of both of you,” she stated plainly. “You’re both doing so much to move past your limitations and become better ponies.”
Thomas’ smile faltered. “Better pony, huh?”
Moonlight gave a half smile and rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant.”
“I do,” Thomas sighed. “But you’re kinda right. I’m the foreigner, so I’ve got to assimilate with the local culture.”
“Well, yeah,” Honey said as though it were obvious. “Jus’ don’t go assimatin’ too much. Ah like ya the way ya are.”
Thomas chuckled at Honey’s flub. “It’s assimilating. ‘Assimatin’ sounds more like something Luna will be in the mood for later.” That earned a round of light chortles. “But speaking of which, there’s actually something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“Oh?” Honey asked and adjusted her position.
“What is it?” Moonlight inquired.
Thomas smiled flatly. “It’s kinda something specifically for Honey. I mean, you probably know,” he assured, not wanting to hurt his mare’s feelings, “but she’s the only one actually living it.”
“Livin’ what?”
“A herd,” Thomas answered. “I know the harem is supposed to be like a herd, but you’re the only one here who’s actually coming into the harem from what passes for a normal family setting around here.”
Moonlight made a sound of understanding. “That makes sense, I suppose.”
“Good, ‘cause Ah hope somepony can explain it,” Honey stated with mild annoyance.
“Humans are overwhelmingly monogamous,” Thomas informed. “Polygamy either exists as an idealized fantasy, or is frowned upon for all kinds of stigmas it’s tied up with. I was raised all my life with that sort of thing drilled into me, so it’s still weird to look at what’s basically my girlfriend,” he faced towards Moonlight, “and see her just smile at me getting physical with other ladies.”
Moonlight frowned. “I’ve said I’m comfortable with it. Why would I lie?”
“You wouldn’t,” Thomas agreed insistently. “I know you wouldn’t, because you were brought up to not have a problem with it.” He sighed. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I’d just really like to get an outside opinion, okay?”
Moonlight took Thomas’ hand and rubbed her thumb gently over his knuckles. “That’s perfectly fine with me. But just so we’re clear, I want you to be happy. I want you to help me make Luna and Silver happy, along with every other pony that comes into the harem. I’m proud of you for doing so much for so many, even when it goes against what you were raised to believe.”
“Yeah, but…”
“Honey,” Moonlight cut him off. “I believe my stallion asked you a question.”
“That right there,” Thomas said with a chuckle. “That’s just one of the things that makes me worry you’re too good for me.”
“Ain’t nothin’ any other good mare would do for her stallion,” Honey stated proudly. “Alright, so what do ya wanna know?”
Thomas smiled appreciatively and nodded. “Well, what did your herd think when you said you wanted to join a harem?”
“Ah guess they acted the same as any other herd would,” Honey said casually. “They freaked out at first. They called me crazy for sayin’ Ah wanted ta go ta Canterlot ‘n be a Princess’ buck toy.”
Thomas smiled as the scene played out in his head. “But they weren’t angry or anything?”
“E’nope.”
“No accusations about you being unfaithful, ungrateful, or anything like that?”
“E’nope.”
“But they weren’t entirely accepting at first either, right?”
“E’yup. Jona was goin’ on about how many applicants get rejected ‘n’ Plow was worried what it would mean if Ah did get the job. Would we all have ta leave everythin’ behind ta move ta Canterlot ‘n’ get jobs here? Where would we all live? Things like that.”
Thomas straightened as he listened. “So they never questioned your loyalty to them because you wanted to have sexual relations outside of the established family unit?”
Honey motor boated her lips in dismissal. “Don’t recon that even crossed their minds.”
“Well damn,” Thomas said in awe. “You ponies have a lot more trust in each other than we do.”
Honey frowned, uncertain how she felt about what Thomas was suggesting. “Ah’m guessin’ all those accusations you was describin’ would be how humans’d react?”
“For starters, yes,” Thomas affirmed with a morbid nod. “I imagine the argument to follow would probably lead to a break up, too.”
“I should probably point out that pony relationships aren’t as perfect as you might be imagining,” Moonlight interjected. “We still fight, and sometimes break up over the stupidest things.”
“Do half of all pony marriages end in divorce?” Thomas retorted.
Moonlight blinked in shock as she felt Thomas tense up. He would sometimes get like this whenever they talked about certain aspects of his old life. “N-no. Marriages are mostly a political thing and almost never break up. But if you’re referring to herded relationships, it happens, but not nearly that much.”
Thomas nodded and turned back to Honey. “So, and this is probably not a pleasant thing to think about, but what would have led to your herd breaking up?”
Honey definitely looked uncomfortable, but still gave the question due consideration. “Ah guess if me ‘n’ Jona couldn’t agree.”
“You said she was your lead, right?” Thomas asked.
“Yeah. Me comin’ ta Canterlot was a pretty big decision that affects the whole herd. If stuff like that isn’t approved by the lead mare, it don’t happen.”
“So if you insisted on going, but Jona forbade it?” Thomas asked leadingly.
Honey sighed. “That would’ve led to some issues,” she admitted, only to perk back up. “Thankfully, she’s mah special somepony, so it weren’t too hard ta convincer her ta let me give this a try.”
“What about now? Like, how does it feel now that you’re actually trying to woo someone outside of your family?”
Honey pursed her lips in thought. “Ah don’t rightly know, ta be honest. Ah mean, I get what yer sayin’. Flirtin’ with ponies Ah have no plans on invitin’ in the herd should really feel like cheatin’, but… it don’t. Ah’m not sure how ta put it in words. Ah was up front with Jona ‘n’ Plow, they came ‘round, and now that its startin’ ta look like it might actually happen,” her lips split in a grin, “Ah’m excited ‘bout it.”
“Excited?” Thomas asked. “So you’ve really got no hang-ups about,” he paused to think up a fitting term, “divided loyalties?”
Honey shrugged. “No more ‘an Ah do with Jona ‘n’ Plow, or with mah own parents. Ah love ‘em all ‘n’, after spendin’ so much time with ya’ll,” she scooched closer and fluttered her eyelashes at the small male, “Ah’m startin’ ta fancy ya’ll, too.”
Thomas swallowed and did his best not to look away from Honey’s violet eyes. Wetting his lips, he racked his brain for something else to say, one last question that had been bugging him. “And your stallion? Did he get a say?”
“Well, sure he did.” Honey sounded confused, as though the answer should have been obvious. “He’s our only stallion, so his vote is pretty important, but mostly the big guy just goes along with what me’n Jona decide.”
“And that’s normal for stallions to just defer like that?” Thomas asked worriedly.
“Mostly. Yeah,” Honey agreed with a casual shrug.
I know that’s kind of what I’ve been mostly doing since I got here, deferring to those with more knowledge than me. Though, come to think of it, all of them were mares. I guess when you factor in the role reversal, a guy acting all meek and helpless and relying on female support to get by would have its appeal on both a biological and sociological level. So I guess that confirms one way I’ve already assimilated without really needing to change anything. Wait… Thomas blinked as it came to him. God dam it! I’m a freaking damsel in distress!
“If ya want, ya can always ask ‘im yerself,” Honey offered.
“Really?”
“Oh, that sounds nice,” Moonlight chirped, grateful for a change to the heavy conversation. “We should invite them up to the castle for tea sometime.”
“We could have a potluck?” Thomas suggested.
“A what?” both mares asked.
Thomas smiled. “It’s a social event where everyone brings their own homemade dish for everyone to share.”
Both mares blink as they processed this new concept.
“We’re doin’ that,” Honey declared, leaving no room for argument. “Right after we head fer the gym. Ah need ta get mah workout on!”
“Lady Talon, Sir Moonlight, and Sir Thomas.” Firm Touch greeted as he tilted his head in a bow from his post behind the spa desk. “And I see you’ve brought with you some new guests,” he noted, gesturing at Honey and Surprise. “What may I do for you this fine evening?”
Positioning herself behind Thomas, Talon set her claws on either attendant’s shoulders and pushed all three up a ways. “These newbies just need some lessons on proper horn care.”
“Horn care?” Firm Touch asked as he examined the hornless foreheads of those who’d been presented to him.
“Not trying to steal your job or anything,” Talon assured. “It’s just that, what with all the horn they’ll have to be dealing with, I figured they’d need to learn the basics.” She concluded with a smirk.
“Ah,” Firm Touch nodded with a grin, understanding fully. He craned his head to call out to his staff, but he was cut off before he could say a word.
“Be sure you get the chimp a mare teacher,” Talon interjected.
Firm Touch frowned, but didn’t press for clarification. “Tender Finger,” Firm Touch called, clapping his hands. A green unicorn mare with a dark green mane appeared from the door way. She wore the sterile white uniform of the other masseuses, which was loose enough to hide her figure. She smiled sweetly at the sight of their guests before looking to Firm Touch for further instruction. “Sir Thomas and his friends are in need of instruction on proper horn care,” the stallion answered simply.
Tender Finger’s smile grew in elation at the prospect of teaching. It hadn’t taken her long to realize what her hornless students would need such lessons for and she quickly closed the distance between herself and the guests. “Sir Thomas,” she greeted warmly, extending her hand welcomingly. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
“S-same,” Thomas said as he put on his best smile and took the mare’s hand. He’d been startled by how quickly she moved, but did his best not to show it. “Been a while since we did one of these lesson things,” he muttered to himself. “Tender Finger, was it?”
“You can call me Tender, cutie. All my satisfied clients do,” she winked before looking up at her other students. “And who might you lovely ladies be?”
“Apple Honey,” Honey greeted with a respectful tilt of her head.
“You can call me Surprise!” the mare cheered as confetti and streamers exploded from behind her.
“Should’ve seen that coming,” Thomas mumbled as the spa staff recovered from their shock at the display.
Tender then looked to Talon and Moonlight. “I assume you two wish to watch?”
Talon answered by fixing Moonlight with a firm stare until the orange unicorn stepped forward. “Actually, I’d like to volunteer as your test subject for the evening.”
“Oh?” Tender raised an eyebrow in intrigue.
“Moonlight?” Thomas asked.
“You need a unicorn to practice on while the teacher provides instruction, so I volunteer,” the guard said confidently. “Besides, I need to make sure you know what I like,” she finished with a wink.
Tender almost cooed as she studied the other unicorn’s flirtatious gestures. “Very well. Please, this way,” she gestured to one of the back rooms.
The company followed the masseuse to a room like the one where the Princesses had their massage, except this one only had one table. Quickly looking Thomas over, Tender adjusted the table until it was practically on the floor. She then looked to Moonlight. “Please. Your armor.”
Moonlight nodded firmly. It was a simple enough request. Her armor would have likely torn the fabric of the table, so it was only polite to remove it. As she began undoing the latches and straps, she noticed that Thomas was still looking at her with no signs of embarrassment. She smiled, taking this as a sign of progress.
Moonlight stripped down to all but her linen undershirt and trousers before climbing onto the table. There she took her position laying belly down with her face poking through a hole in the table.
“Alright, students,” Tender began chipperly as she stood beside the resting mare. “How much do you know about a unicorn’s horn?”
Surprise’s hand immediately shot up. “It’s the focal point unicorns use to focus their magic.”
“Correct,” Tender nodded as she sat on her knees to Moonlight’s left and motioned for her students to take the opposite position. “The horn, in order to carefully focus the turbulent nature of magic, is incredibly sensitive. Watch.” She leaned in and lightly blew across the tip of Moonlight’s horn, causing the guard to shiver. “You see?”
Thomas nodded. “So it’s like how the wings are sensitive to air currents.”
“Yaperooney!” Surprise declared, giving her wings a tentative flex.
“Bingo!” Talon cheered as well from the back wall. She’d already taken such lessons and was accompanying the group only for old time’s sake.
“Indeed. Exactly like the wings,” Tender continued. Her horn lit and a nearby drawer opened. A glowing black binder of some sort levitated out and set itself in front of the unicorn. The binder proceeded to unfold revealing a series of tools and bottles.
Thomas grimaced as some of the instruments looked rather sharp and made him think of tools a torturer might use. However, upon seeing what she was in store for, Moonlight relaxed at the familiar sight.
“This is your standard horn care kit,” Tender explained as she gestured over the tools and bottles. “Files, scrapers, various ointments, tuners, and other tools all necessary for proper horn care. For unicorns, tending to one’s horn is a lot like brushing your teeth. As we use magic in our daily lives, gunky residue has the nasty habit of building up. If it gets too bad, it can interfere with the magical flow or perhaps even cause damage, not to mention it’s rather unsightly to go around with an unclean horn,” she chuckled as she eyed Moonlight carefully.
The orange mare fidgeted nervously under the masseuse’s quiet glare. She suddenly felt insecure, wondering if she had missed a spot in her morning filing. “Is there a problem?”
“Not at all,” Tender shrugged. “Your horn is in fine shape. I’d dare say you gave it a rather thorough cleaning this morning,” she added accusingly. “Or is it early evening? I’m still getting used to these new evening shifts.”
“Same here,” Honey chimed in. “Ah think they’re going with early evening, or somethin’ like that,” she said before finally looking up to find a very displeased griffon leering at her.
“Really, smarty-corn? I thought we talked about this.”
“You talked,” Moonlight replied curtly. “But I will not be seen in public with an unkempt horn.”
“Whatever,” Talon shrugged, holding back the urge to smirk.
“No matter,” Tender said nonchalantly as she picked up one of the files. “I can still demonstrate the basics. Now, this is a standard horn file,” she held it up for emphasis. “First you take a little dab of this, and you apply it like so.” Gently she took the instrument, applied a squirt of ointment, and carefully placed the flat end across Moonlight’s horn, causing the mare to flinch at the alien touch.
“You alright?” Thomas asked.
“No problem,” Moonlight said as she struggled to regain control over her breathing. “It’s just a little weird to have a stranger touch my horn like this.”
“Would you prefer if Sir Thomas were to do it?” Tender asked, causing Moonlight to flinch.
“I’d rather not,” Thomas said apprehensively. “At least, not until I see how it’s done first. I don’t want to hurt her or anything.” He nodded when he saw Moonlight’s appreciative smile.
“Very well,” Tender resumed her instruction. “Now watch as I do.” She guided the flat of the file across the horn in slow, gentle strokes. Each movement elicited varying degrees of grunts from the guard at her mercy until finally Moonlight let out a long, contended sigh. “There,” Tender nodded approvingly. “It’s all about finding the right rhythm. Now, I think you can try.”
Moonlight let out a moan of disappointment as the relaxing touch of the file left her horn, but her gaze stayed glued to the instrument as it was moved across her face until it exchanged hands with the human. The orange mare’s heartbeat sounded like tribal drums, at least to her.
Looking between the file and his subject, Thomas propped himself on his knees to carefully examine the orange protrusion. He studied it carefully. The horn was much shorter than Luna’s with a much smoother tip. No doubt it could still probably stab things, but that wasn’t what it was for. He leaned in for a better look to study the spiral that encircled the horn. It was like a perfectly sculpted statue, except for the tiniest rocky bumps that protruded in a couple areas. He was already familiar with it, having touched the spiral appendage several times in past love making, but this was something else. “Looks like you might have missed a couple spots,” he observed casually.
Moonlight squeaked her embarrassment.
“In her defense,” Tender began with her hand over her lips, “it’s hard for most unicorns to see from that close.”
Thomas blinked and realized where he was. His face was less than an inch from her horn and his lips were slightly parted in absentminded curiosity. The top of Moonlight’s red mane was tickling the bottom of his chin. She must have used a rose-scented shampoo. That was the smell filling his nostrils, though not to the point where it was overbearing. He exhaled, and his hot breath over the exposed bone caused the unicorn to shiver at the sensation.
Talon was now leaning over the side of her table for a better look at what appeared to be a scene out of some cheesy romance or erotica. Any second now, she told herself, his lips would part just enough so he could take that first experimental lick. Similar scenes were playing out in the minds of the mares as well, so it was actually surprising that none of them groaned in disappointment when Thomas suddenly pulled back.
Although, Moonlight couldn’t help but sigh in relief. There’d be plenty of time for that when they could find a more private setting. Though, she wouldn’t be opposed to most of the current audience.
“Right then,” Thomas declared, hoping to put this awkwardness behind himself quickly as he lifted the file. “Like this?” He angled the file over one of the spots where he’d noticed the imperfections.
“That looks fine,” Tender said in approval. “Please begin.”
Nodding, Thomas carefully touched the file to Moonlight’s horn. As before, she flinched, but motioned for him to go on when he hesitated. Like Tender, he applied different levels of pressure, experimenting until he found a rhythm that Moonlight seemed to like. The human smiled as the unicorn practically purred at his touch.
“Excellent technique,” Tender said with a smile. “You really have a knack for this sort of thing. No wonder Luna chose you as her concubine.”
“Nah,” Thomas said dismissively as he worked away. “She just likes me for my body.” His words earned warm chortles from his listeners.
“Yes, well, I believe that’s good enough,” Tender said, motioning for Thomas to stop. “Surprise. Would you like to try next?”
Surprise sprung up with a wide grin on her face and took the file offered to her. “You bet!”
“Nothing crazy?” Moonlight warned. “Just some simple touch ups.”
“Psh. Don’t worry,” Surprise waved dismissively. “I’ve dealt with unicorns before, so I know how touchy you can be. It’s just like me with my wings.” She shuffled her wings for emphasis. “I know what I’m doing.”
Moonlight nodded apprehensively and did her best to relax back into the table.
Surprise reached out for the same ointment and dabbed a fresh sprit onto the file. She then proceeded to do as Thomas and Tender had done, placing it along Moonlight’s horn and applying gentle pressure as she stroked. Moonlight tensed momentarily, only to quickly relax and groan her delight at the white mare’s actions.
“See?” Surprise asked. “You can trust me.”
Moonlight sighed in contentment. “I do trust you,” she assured. “But, you know how it is. There’s trusting somepony with your wallet, but horns are a whole other matter.”
“Yeppers!” Surprise cheered as she happily filed away. “And I’m just pleased as punch you trust me enough with this.” She then removed the file and gave Moonlight’s horn a gentle blow, earning a rather tense shudder from the mare.
“Surprise!” she growled.
“Don’t worry. I’ll let you play with my wings when we’re done, kay?”
Moonlight blinked as she poked her head out of the hole. “Really?” That was an awfully intimate thing to offer. Pegasi almost never let anypony touch their wings, except as a show of unconditional trust.
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” Surprise recited as she went through the motions of the pinkie promise.
Moonlight smiled and went back to resting. Despite the peculiarity of the pledge, the idea that Surprise trusted her with her wings made Moonlight feel compelled to reciprocate.
“Alright. I think it’s time for our last student,” Tender announced with a soft clap.
Even after being handed the file, Honey remained sitting in place as she eyed the tool warily.
“Something wrong, dear?” Tender asked.
“Ah… Ah’m not sure Ah should do this,” Honey admitted. “Ah ain’t so good with the tender stuff ‘n’ Ah don’t want ta hurt no pony.”
Thomas opened his mouth, ready to start encouraging her, but closed it when the words died in his throat. It was true that she was getting a lot better with their various exercises, but the possibility of failure weighed as heavily in his mind as it did for Honey. He was glad to have been standing outside of her peripheral vision, lest she see his hesitation and feel even worse about herself.
“Well, if you think that’s for the best?” Tender trailed off uncertainly as she opened her palm, ready to accept the file back.
“No,” Moonlight stated as she lifted her head up. “You’ve been working hard, Honey. I know you wouldn’t do anything that might hurt me.”
“B-but what if Ah do?” Honey countered. “Wh-what if…”
“Pretend it’s a dick,” Talon called across the room, startling everyone. “You’ve handled your stallion’s stallionhood, haven’t ya?”
Honey nodded warily.
“Then just pretend you’re holding your stallion’s most precious equipment,” Talon instructed matter-of-factly.
Blinking as she considered, Honey tightened her grip around the end of the file as she moved into position. She breathed heavily as she looked down at the bone spiral until it took on a more phallic shape in her mind’s eye. A sigh of relaxation left her lips as she took in the familiar image. “Okay,” she whispered.
“Honey?” Moonlight asked.
Honey tenderly ran a hand along Moonlight’s cheek as she smiled softly at the smaller mare. “Ah’m ready.”
“Okay,” Moonlight acknowledged as she set her head back down. “J-just listen if I say ‘stop,’ okay?”
Honey nodded and proceeded through the same motions of dabbing the file before placing it along Moonlight’s horn. Then, holding her breath, she began to apply the pressure. Moonlight’s moaning contentment allowed Honey to exhale in relief. “It’s working,” she cheered softly to herself. “Ah’m doing it!”
“Ah. Most excellent,” Tender congratulated warmly as she watched the earth mare work. “Although, I can’t help but wonder what you and your stallion might get up to,” she joked.
“Oh!” Surprise chirped excitedly. “Since Moonlight’s gonna practice on my wings later, maybe you should practice on Thomas so we can-”
“E’nope.” Thomas said in his best impression of Big Mac.
“Aww,” Surprise whined. “Why?”
“I’ve opened myself to a lot of weird stuff these last few months,” Thomas explained as he folded his arms over his chest. “But I draw the line at taking a stick to my penis.”
“If it makes ya feel better, Ah’m imaginin’ the stick is actually mah finger,” Honey explained, looking over her shoulder and giving her lips a lascivious lick. “Plow really likes when Ah play with ‘em like this.”
“Ah,” Thomas said evenly as he unfolded his arms, now much more interested. “Well that’s different, I guess.”
“Pardon me,” Moonlight spoke up. “But how exactly does that pay me back?” she asked with an overly dramatic tone.
Honey giggled as she looked back at her impatient patient. “Well, Ah could work the both of ya at once?”
Moonlight hummed as she thought. “I suppose that sounds fair.”
“Yay!” Surprise cheered. “Massage party!”
Sighing contentedly, Talon smiled as she watched the four interact. She’d deliberately abstained from the majority of lessons to see how well her friends got on without her. She was proud to see their progress in befriending these new ponies, but also a little sad at the same time. Deep down, she knew Luna’s harem had no more need for her services, and so turned to leave.
“Hey!” Thomas called.
Surprised, Talon turned slowly around, only to brace herself when she saw the human charging right for her. He jumped into her arms as she reflexively caught him, only to squeak in surprise when he pressed his soft lips into her beak. “Chimp?” she asked when he finally pulled away.
Thomas chuckled as Talon held him, averting his eyes at her eagle glare. “Well, we were all talking about going back to Luna’s room for some… massage stuff. Wanna join?” he asked, still not meeting her eyes.
Grinning widely, Talon set the human back down to his feet and patted him fondly on the head. “Good colt.”
Thomas blushed as he pursed his lips. “Y-yeah. Thanks,” he said softly. “So… You wanna hang out?”
The griffon brought her claw down to the human’s rump with a mighty *whack*, earning a delightful squeal from the man. “Always, bud.”
**********
“There’s a word for this,” Thomas stated plainly from his position behind Talon. He was working tentatively on her wings, stroking his fingers gently along the feathers until he found the loose ones and swiftly plucked them before placing them in the nearby pile besides Surprise’s.
“Word for what?” Honey asked. Her hands were the only ones unassigned anywhere, so she passed the time by gently massaging her breasts while Moonlight went to work on her mane and tail.
As Moonlight worked on the earth mare, Surprise sat behind her as she polished the unicorn’s horn. Behind her, Talon’s expert claws roamed through her wide white wings. And Thomas, from his spot in the back, was gritting his teeth at his inability to find the right word as he ignored the naked mares and wren in front of him.
“Damn. It’s on the tip of my tongue, I swear,” Thomas grumbled as he thought. “Oh! Braid train,” he laughed as he recalled.
“Neat,” Talon said as she swatted her tail over his clothed lap.
“Too bad Silver’s busy,” Surprise commented idly as she worked. “It’d be nice if she could join us.”
“Ah’m still tryin’ ta work mah head around that,” Honey blurted. “Ah mean, I get she’s with the Princess, but where exactly is she?”
Talon tittered. “Really? Seemed pretty straightforward to me.”
“Explain it then,” Honey requested flatly.
“Alright,” Talon agreed. “You know about the pocket dimension a lot of unicorns use, right?”
“E’yup.”
“Well, it’s a lot like that. Except the pocket is bent around Luna’s whole dress. In layman’s terms, Luna’s dress is bigger on the inside.”
**********
Elsewhere, a brown stallion with an odd metal wand tied to his waist flicked his head up as his ears stood at attention.
“What is it, Doc?” a wall-eyed mare asked.
“I don’t know,” he said ambivalently. “However, I have a feeling I just missed out on something important.”
**********
“Okay,” Honey said hesitantly as she nodded. “So… that’s where Silver is, inside the Princess’ dress?”
“Yup,” Moonlight answered with a smile.
“How!?” Honey demanded. “Ah mean… where does she stand, and what’s she doin’?”
“Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure she’s having a lot of fun at Luna’s expense,” Thomas suggested with a smirk.
Honey gave a low groan as she slumped forward. “The things that mare does just weird me out sometimes, ya know?”
“She can be a little funny,” Surprise agreed.
“Don’t ask me,” Thomas inserted. “I’ve just learned to accept everything as normal around here. Not sure if that’s healthy, though.”
“Yeah,” Talon agreed calmly as she sprung backwards, knocking Thomas back as she sat herself down over his groin. The commotion caught the attention of the others as they all looked back to see a very smug griffon sitting atop her captured prey. “Probably not the best idea to learn social cues from a bunch of weirdos like us.”
“Who you callin’ weird?” Honey demanded.
“The mares currently training themselves to be the personal playthings to the exotic tastes of a very creative, randy, and powerful alicorn,” Talon responded flatly.
“Eh. Fair enough,” Honey said with an accepting shrug and turned away.
Grabbing hold of the human’s ankles, Talon pulled her seat along with her, keeping her rear placed snugly against his groin. She set him back down in her prior spot and resumed her work on Surprise’s wings.
“Weirdos,” Thomas sighed in defeat, adjusting himself to be more comfortable under Talon’s firm backside. “I can certainly think of worse company to keep.”
It was almost a rule that Saturdays had to be lazy. Luna sat herself up, yawning as she gave a satisfying stretch. In so doing, she unintentionally knocked Silver from her perch between the alicorn’s breasts, yet the bat refused to so much as stir. Luna beat her wings lightly, just enough to lift her out of bed without disturbing the others as she made for the bathroom. Her entire body stank, her fur was matted in several places from yesterday’s fun, and even the feathers of her wings felt sticky.
Alas, being a light sleeper as well as an insomniac, Thomas was awakened. He too was surrounded by unpleasant odors, and a very clingy unicorn who he had to carefully extract himself from. Making his way to the bathroom as well, Thomas heard what vaguely sounded like an amateur practicing with a tuba and performed an about-face, the human decided that his bladder could wait. Instead he sought something to distract him on the balcony. He was naked, but the cool air of the twilight hour took care of his morning wood as he leaned over the railing. Although he never cared much for the cold, he did have an appreciation for cold weather. It had an almost indescribable smell that always put him at ease.
The sun still looked odd to Thomas, or at least it felt like it should, which in turn just made him feel even more odd just for thinking it. The sun was the same as it had always been: a ball of light and warmth, possibly of a magical nature, actual size indeterminate, and slave to the whims of a nudist horse god with tattoos on her ass. Come to think of it, maybe ‘odd’ was an understatement. Even so, as pretty as the sun was at this time, he found he really didn’t miss it all that much. He’d made an almost complete adjustment to the night life.
Hearing the bathroom door open, Thomas darted past the haggard looking alicorn and began pushing her out. She smiled at what they both knew was a futile effort; their difference in strength being painfully obvious.
“My. Some human has certainly been eating his vitamins,” she humored him as she walked forward, allowing her ass to be pushed. The way his fingers sank into her ample flesh tickled a bit and she giggled.
“Someone,” he corrected gruffly. “It’s called someone.” He knew she was just playing along, but it became annoying after she started slowing down.
“I had thought so, but thank you kindly for the reminder.”
Thomas rolled his eyes and slammed the door behind her.
“Somepony had to go,” she nickered.
Moonlight and Silver awoke soon after, blinking blearily as Honey and Surprise arrived. After the alicorn, her harem, and the attendants had run through their morning routines at a considerably lethargic pace. Even the way Luna had raised her moon seemed like it took more effort than usual. The attendants disrobed of their maid uniforms for the morning bathing, but Luna had forbidden them from redressing.
“There is no need,” the alicorn said contentedly as the mares scrubbed her. “Tonight your Princess desires to look upon you in your natural states.” That might have sounded a bit more profound if she hadn’t been staring intently at Surprise’s breasts the entire time.
Afterwards, Thomas and Silver were the only ones to wear anything at all as the group returned to the room’s living area.
“So what’re we gonna do tonight?” Surprise asked with a chirp.
“Who says we have to do anything?” Moonlight countered. “I’ve certainly developed an appreciation for a do-nothing-day.” She smiled at Thomas.
“Well Ah haven’t,” Honey stated plainly. “We already do a lot o’ nothin’. Ah wanna do some kinda somethin’ so Ah don’t sit on mah flank all the time ‘n’ get lazy.”
“Very well,” Silver replied evenly. “What did you have in mind?”
“Ah don’t know,” Honey admitted. “Jus’ so long as it’s somethin’. Ah need some kind o’ workout or Ah’ll be jittery all day.”
“There’s an idea,” Thomas suggested.
**********
There was nothing quite like watching a woman on a treadmill. This was one of those infallible truths that most people didn’t generally think about in their daily lives, yet still believed it instantly upon hearing it.
In Canterlot Castle’s gym, the magically powered treadmills were arranged in rows facing one another to encourage sociability, though most still focused on their running. Thomas ran on one side of the row while the other mares ran side-by-side on the other. Granted the experience was slightly hampered by the gym’s policy of lending sports bras and jock straps the same way bowling alleys lent shoes, but it was still a sight to behold.
The mares had arranged themselves in ascending order of size, though whether that was intentional was anyone’s guess. Silver was the smallest in pretty much every way and her top kept her silver chest puppies firmly in place. That isn’t to say her chest wouldn’t get stared at if she was on earth, but she was still first on the list. Next were Moonlight’s orange bosoms, which had noticeably more bounce to them. Given her military background, Thomas couldn’t help but make the comparison of a fresh recruit who mostly followed orders, but still tested their boundaries by occasionally stepping out of line the way her breasts tested the strength of the bra. Honey’s green mamma jammas had very nearly touched her chin more than once as she jogged along. Despite the bras seemingly being designed exactly the same and tweaked for the different sizes, Honey’s bra looked like it was straining not to break under the raw power of the working mare’s muscle. Next were Surprise’s tig ol’ bitties which… well… Her bra was on strike. It was fed up with working conditions around here and decided tonight would be the night that it simply wouldn’t work. That was the only logical conclusion Thomas could conceive as he watched her marshmallowy baby feeders flop all over the place with no rhyme or reason. More than once the human likened the display to a pair of elephant seals slamming their bodies together in a show of dominance, only way sexier. And lastly was the glory of the glorious boobies of the night. Despite being larger than Surprise’s in both overall size and proportion, Luna’s boobs behaved more like Honey’s in how they looked like they were enjoying their play time, but didn’t want to overstep.
The unicorn directly opposite Honey lost her balance and fell, narrowly catching herself on the treadmill’s handles. She accepted her disqualification gracefully and stepped off. Ever since the stallion opposite Luna had first slipped, everypony on Thomas’ side of the treadmills had engaged in an unofficial competition to see who could last the longest while staring at such beauty as Luna and her mares. Most had wiped out in the first ten minutes. This latest loss left Thomas with only one other competitor.
“Give up, human. There’s no way you can outlast me,” Blade Grace declared.
“Says you,” Thomas confidently shot back. “I see this on a daily basis!”
“Nightly,” Grace corrected.
“Down to our last two contestants, our finalists daringly square off,” Surprise narrated. “Blade Grace, the proud night guard, is clearly relying on her tribe’s natural endurance and reputation as warriors to beat her opponent. However, despite his relatively weaker build, Thomas correctly points out that this is more a test of concentration rather than endurance. Who will be the victor?”
“Just remember to not stare directly at them. You might go blind,” Thomas warned.
“What’s this?” Surprise asked. “Is Thomas so sure of his own victory that he’s actually giving his opponent advice?”
“Trying to psych me out, huh?” Grace panted. “Well it’s not gonna work.”
“Your funeral,” Thomas bemoaned. “But I’m telling you, when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares right back.” It was hard to keep a straight face.
“Poetic,” Silver mused.
“And more true than you care to imagine,” Luna added seriously.
Confused by what they all were talking about, Grace couldn’t help but do exactly what she was told not to. She stared directly into Surprise’s chest. Her mind instantly focused on the swinging breasts, at first appreciating their generous bounce like any healthy red-blooded Equestrian would. However, as time passed, something began to niggle at her mind, something that said there was a wrongness to what she was seeing. Desperately her evolved, civilized, and ordered brain attempted to impose logic where none seemed to exist. The mounds of flesh moved as if of their own accord, sometimes seemingly going places that should not have been equinely possible, all in complete disregard of the bra’s supposedly ample support. Her face contorted as she felt a pressure behind her eyes, like a migraine was coming on. Grace was starting to feel lightheaded as her breaths became more labored. It was a fascinating sight, like watching a wreck, but also vaguely offensive in how impossible it was and… Hello ground.
“Gah!”
“And there she goes!” Surprise announced as Grace was flung backwards by the treadmill. “We have a winnah, folks!” She motioned to Thomas, still jogging.
“A-boo-ya!” Thomas crowed.
“Zons!”
“Yippee!”
“I had a feeling you could.”
“Ya’ll can never accuse me of bein’ foalish again,” Honey deadpanned as she craned her head to speak over Moonlight. “This was jus’ plain silly.”
“I’m afraid you are right,” Silver bemoaned while working her hardest to keep a straight face. “Such are the hazards of this job.”
“So what do I win?” Thomas asked.
“Had it been one of the others, I might have thought an entire night spent with the Night Princess would prove sufficient,” Silver suggested.
Luna hummed thoughtfully. “Niece Cadence spoke of how she occasionally auctions off dates with herself for charity purposes. It sounded intriguing.”
“Aren’t we kinda doing that anyway?” Thomas pointed out as they all began to wind down on their runs.
“Also it’s kinda not fair,” Honey added. “Like the little guy said, he sees this,” she gestured down at her bare body, “all the time. Like ‘n art critic who gets bored of seein’ masterpieces,” she added with a proud, self-indulgent smirk. “Everypony else was fightin’ an uphill battle.”
“Honey speaks true,” Luna noted. “‘Tis not a fair competition unless all participants begin on equal hoofing.”
“Oooooh!” Surprise squealed as she and the others stepped off their machines. “A Booby Hypnosis challenge! Concubines only. We’ll take turns to see who can last the longest.”
“A little too complicated,” Silver dismissed tiredly. “For now we should just think up some arbitrary reward to satisfy this petty competition.”
“And the nomination for biggest buzzkill in the land goes too… Silver,” Thomas announced as he handed her the imaginary nomination, only for Surprise to swipe it.
“Wow, Silver!” she awed as she held the invisible parchment in front of her. “I didn’t even know they gave out rewards for this.” She handed it back to the bat, who took it uncertainly. “Hope you win.”
I really hope you’re just fucking with us, Thomas thought.
The other mares just smiled good-naturedly at the pegasi’s antics.
As Thomas considered a suitable reward, Surprise led the group to the kitchens for a surprise cooking lesson. None commented on Surprise’s presumptuous attitude regarding her and Honey joining in Luna’s special lessons before being officially inducted. There was also no complaint when Honey took over as lead chef and began barking out orders. Lunch time was just around the corner and after such a workout, the group’s grumbling stomachs were all the motivation they needed to work their hardest.
“Say, Luna?” Honey asked.
“Yes?” The Princess of the night was currently beating the eggs into the mixture, but she appreciated Honey’s informality. It was a good sign of the earth mare growing more comfortable with the diarch.
“Just out o’ curiosity, but why haven’t ya, ya know, had ta take any breaks?”
Luna tilted her head curiously. “Breaks?”
“Ya know,” she jerked her head in the direction of Thomas and Moonlight and made a crude gesture with her hands, “breaks.”
“Oh!” Luna’s look of understanding quickly fell back to confusion as she considered. “I suppose that is a reasonable question,” she admitted.
“What’s that like, anyway?” Surprise asked as she prepared the fruit. “I mean, I know what it’s like ta get that special itch, ‘specially during mah heat. Is it like that fer you all the time or somethin’?”
“A most fair comparison,” Luna agreed. “It is much like a regular mare’s heat, but year round.”
“That can’t be easy,” Honey said sympathetically, clenching her thighs together from the phantom sensation. “Guy’s don’t really get it, but when a mare starts feelin’ that itch down there, there’s jus’ nothin’ else ta be done but scratch.”
“But that still leaves the question unanswered,” Silver noted. “I am also curious why you have not solicited us to satisfy your urges yet?”
Luna hummed as she thought. “‘Tis truly a quandary, but an alicorn’s libido is a dreadfully unpredictable thing. Sometimes ‘tis a night where I must summon the whole of my harem every hour on the hour.” She smiled at the way the others blanched at her words. “Other times, like tonight, my mind is clear and my body is free of compulsion.”
“It can’t be entirely random,” Thomas interjected. “Like, if you’re connected to the moon, then maybe your moods change with the phases or something.”
“Were it so simple.” Luna rolled her eyes in amusement. “That was the very first thing I had considered so many centuries ago. I even asked ‘Tia to monitor my moods, but alas there was no connection. We tried something similar with ‘Tia and solar activity, but that proved equally fruitless.”
“Unfortunate.” Silver sighed. “Though I suppose that accounts for why our schedules are so loose. There is no way to plan, so we must simply have as many of us as possible on standby at all times.”
“‘Tis as you say,” Luna agreed with a dash of sorrow. “Although, ‘tis often the case that a night of ease, such as this one, will either directly follow or precede a night of intense craving,” she finished with a slight chuckle and licked her lips.
“Yesterday was normal,” Moonlight said in dread.
“So tomorrow…” Silver continued.
“We probably won’t be walking much,” Thomas finished.
The remainder of cooking time was passed with much lighter conversation as Luna and her harem finished baking their pies. They then proceeded to destroy the pies in a fit of grotesque savagery that would make a starving wolf blush.
**********
“Now calm down, puddin’,” Thomas said in fright. “And then she picks up a stuffed swordfish from off the wall,” he described as he acted, “and pointed the sharp end out like a weapon.”
As the man backed away, he spied the mares watching from the bed. They were huddled close to one another, many of their mouths hanging open in awe as they hung on his every word. In his humble opinion, moments like these, when he held his friends’ attention so utterly captive, were almost better than sex.
“And then the Joker…” Thomas turned around, bracing his shoulders back to look as intimidating as possible as he scowled at the subject of his character’s ire. “He’s stalking forward and says: ‘You’ve forgotten what I toldyou a long time ago; one of the painful truths of comedy.’” Thomas adjusted his voice for his best impression of Mark Hamill. “‘You always take shots from folks’-, and he snatches the fish from her while she’s backed against the window,” he explained as he made a yanking gesture. “-‘who just don’t get the joke!’ And he slams the tail end into Harley, knocking her right through the window.”
The mares gasped in abject horror as Thomas mimed falling to ‘her’ death.
“And then he’s leaning out the window, staring in absolute contempt as he watches her make the long fall, only to hit the ground with a thud. Cur-chow! And he doesn’t even blink when he says: ‘And don’t call me puddin’. And he skulks away, dropping the swordfish.”
“Contemptable cur!” Silver shouted.
“And what about Harley?” Moonlight demanded urgently.
Thomas held up a finger, silently asking for her patience as he continued. “Meanwhile, atop a very conveniently place pile of trash in the alley, Harley lays broken, but still conscious.” Thomas briefly smiled as he noted the way he saw many pupils widened and many heads leaned forward. “She cries to herself: ‘My fault. I didn’t get the joke.’”
“Bwaaaahuhuhu!” Surprise wept as twin fountains of tears erupted from her eyes. “Why is he so mehehehehean?”
“Th-this gets better, right?” Honey demanded. “‘Cause if Batman don’t escape ‘n’ finally give this bucker what he deserves, Ah don’t wanna know.” She folded her arms and pouted like a petulant child.
“That is what happens, yes?” Luna asked shakily. “The day is saved and Harley finally leaves that… that monster?”
Thomas could only smile as he continued his episode recap. Each reaction from the mares as he recounted Batman’s escape, the fight, the taunting, and Joker’s seeming demise made his heart swell. It was the satisfaction of a job well done. Still, he hurried along to the parts his audience wanted most.
“Back in Arkham, Harley is being pushed along in a wheelchair and returned to her cell. The doctors help her into bed as she narrates to herself. ‘Never again. No more obsession. No more craziness. No more Joker.’ And the doctors seal the room as they leave.” The mares looked ready to cheer, but stopped as he continued. “And she just lays there with a look of solemn resolve on her face as she leans back into her bed. ‘I finally see that slime for what he is; a murderous, manipulative, irredeemable…’ But before she can go on, she turns her head to the side and spies a vase containing a single flower and a note tied to it.”
“No,” Silver gasped in horror.
“You better not,” Honey growled.
“And upon the note reads a short message.” Thomas paused, taking sadistic glee out of building the suspense. “Feel better soon… J.” There was an audible sucking sound of five mares inhaling deeply, only to hold their breaths. “And she just smiles as she rests her head against the pillow. ‘Angel.’”
All the mares swore and shouted their frustration, but all were drowned out by Luna’s, “NOOOOOO!”
Just then the doors burst open as the door guards charged into the room, brandishing their weapons. “What happened?” the lead stallion demanded as he surveyed the situation, hesitating when he saw the state of his Princess and most of her concubines in a naked pile.
“Him!” hissed Surprise, eyes red and puffy from crying as she pointed at Thomas.
“Me?”
“He tells terrible endings to stories. Take him away!”
“Belay that,” Luna quickly cut in, though she still fumed in anger. “I simply,” she breathed deeply, “had an emotional reaction to my concubine’s story.” She took another calming breath to collect herself. “Return to your posts.”
Thomas was overcome with a mix of emotions. On the one hand, he was brimming with pride at earning such a profound reaction from his audience; such was the wish of any performer. On the other hand, he was actually a little afraid of what might come of this, whether he be taken away or be left alone with his irate audience.
The guards hesitated, looking from the angered Luna, to a frightened Thomas, to anywhere else in the room that might have better explained what had happened. When nothing was found, the lead stallion nodded to the others and they filed out, slowly. He gave one last peak inside, returning Luna’s affirming nod before closing the doors behind him.
“Holy crap,” Thomas sighed in relief as he fell to his rear. “That was-”
“What you get,” Honey finished venomously. “After what you did to poor Harley-”
“I didn’t do crap!” Thomas countered. “I’m just telling you how the episode went.”
“Well it went wrong,” the apple mare growled.
“Now hold on,” Silver interjected as she straightened up. “I think this ending was for the best.” This earned her lethal glares from the other mares, minus Moonlight who looked curious.
“How so?”
“Well, it just seems to fit the character,” Silver explained. “The Joker has always been a self-serving, demented, lunatic. He’s funny, but also rather frightening. Thinking back to their prior interactions, it actually makes perfect sense that he views her only as a pawn and not a companion.” That seemed to get the mares to calm down somewhat.
“I see,” Moonlight said as she made her ‘I’m-inspired’ face. “So I suppose it’s actually our fault for equanizing a monster.”
“I-if it helps,” Thomas spoke up cautiously. “This is only one interpretation of the character.”
“How so?” Luna asked.
“Like with comics. The same character is interpreted different based on whoever’s writing them. Harley might have first appeared in the show, but she’s made all kinds of appearances in the comics and other shows, doing all kinds of stuff.” Thomas’ relief grew as his explanations led the mares to slowly calm, though Surprise was still taking it pretty hard. “Like in another show, she sought him out while she was still a psychiatrist. So the Joker sicks his hyenas on her, but she just yells at them, proving she’s the alpha dog until they back off. Then the Joker agrees to let her follow him on his crime spree so she can write about it, but only if she participates. She does,” he shrugged, “and one thing leads to another until she falls for him.”
“I still don’t like it,” Surprise sniffled, wiping her face clean as Luna held her comfortingly. “No pony should be together if it doesn’t make them happy.”
“Sorry, but the world just doesn’t work like that,” Thomas apologized as humbly as he could. “Dysfunctional relationships are a thing and, as bad as it might sound, they can be pretty engaging to watch.” That explanation sounded weak even to him, and it was getting harder and harder to see how much pain Surprise was in. “Wanna hear the one where Harley beats the absolute shit out of him?”
Surprise perked up and blew into the handkerchief Moonlight gave her. “Yeah. I don’t care if it’s bad to hit guys. That sounds nice,” she said softly.
**********
“No way. It can’t be done,” Moonlight declared flatly.
“I’m telling you that’s what happened,” Surprise insisted.
“That’s how we learned,” Honey offered.
“I fear I must concur with Moonlight. Such a thing does not seem possible,” Luna added.
Thomas just buried his face in his hands and laughed. “Oh god.”
“Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it.”
“Surprise. You are my friend and I love you, but don’t make a fool of yourself,” Silver implored.
“But I’m telling you that’s what happened. I was renting the room for seven days at thirteen bits a day. Seven times thirteen is twenty eight, so that’s what I paid her,” Surprise insisted again. “How much ya wanna bet I can prove it?”
Silver crossed her arms under her chest and frowned up at the taller mare. “Fair enough. If this is how you care to proceed, then twenty eight bits seems an apt wager.”
“Alright then,” the pegasus cheered. “Anypony got something to write with?”
Luna conjured up a marker and a board in the middle of the room. “Your certainty is palpable, Surprise. I confess eagerness to see how you will achieve this feat.”
You’ll be soooooryyyyy!
“Who said that?” Thomas sat up and swiveled his head around, searching for the source of the voice.
“Who said what?” Moonlight asked.
“You didn’t hear that?”
“Hear what?’
“You feelin’ alright, sugar?” Honey set her hand over Thomas’ forehead to check for fever.
Seeing all the mares staring at him like he’d gone mad, Thomas threw up his hands in frustration. “Oh forget it.”
“Alright then. Let’s get started,” Surprise declared as she and Silver moved up to either side of the board. “Now first I put down the seven.”
“Right,” Silver agreed as Surprise drew a rather large seven.
“Now I’m gonna divide the seven into twenty eight.” Surprise drew a slash by the seven, followed by a rather diminutive twenty eight. “Isn’t that cute?”
“Okay.”
“Now here we go. Seven into two?” Surprise asked as Silver shook her head. “Seven will not go into two.”
“It will not.”
“That’s a very big seven to push into that lil’ bit o’ two.”
I don’t know whether to hope this is all a coincidence or… what? Thomas bemoaned as he struggled to keep his laughter in check.
“And so it is,” Silver agreed with a smug grin, equal parts certain that Surprise was about to make a mistake, but also curious to see where this was going.
“We ain’t gonna hurt that little two, are we?’
“Of course you will not.”
“So we take the two,” Surprise grabbed hold of where the two was. “Now open your hand.” Silver did as instructed. “And I’ll put that two there for safekeeping. Don’t drop it and don’t lose it.”
Silver blinked, taken aback as she looked into the fist Surprise had closed.
“Now seven into eight?”
“Once.”
“Once,” Surprise agreed. “So I put the one over here.” She drew a one beside the twenty eight. “Now we carry the seven, because it’s very big and it’s gettin’ very heavy on my shoulders, and I’m gonna drop the seven under there.” She drew a seven beneath the twenty eight and added a line under that. “Seven from eight?”
“Is one.”
“Is one. I put the one down there.” Surprise drew the one beneath the line. “Now comes… would you open up the palm of your hand? I’d like to use that two. Now open it up,” Surprise bubbled as the uncertain Silver opened her hand and she extracted the two. “Give me that two, you had it all along,” she said with a rather whimsical laugh and slapped the two on the board before drawing it in front of the one below the seven. “Seven into twenty one?”
“Three times,” Silver said with a scowl.
“That’s right.” Surprise drew a three beside the one that sat beside the twenty eight and across from the seven. “Seven to the twenty eight,” she explained as she tapped the marker to each number, “thirteen.”
Staring up at Surprise’s ‘math’, Silver had to scratch her head in speechless disbelief.
“Makes sense ta me,” Honey chirped.
“I… don’t… know,” Moonlight strained to say.
“What hath become of Equestria’s education,” Luna bemoaned.
The mares’ reactions were proving too much for the human as he had to bury his face in the sheets.
“Alright. Pay up,” Surprise chirped and offered out her hand.
“Wait a minute. Wait a minute,” Silver urged as she grabbed Surprise by the arm. “You have to prove this even better than that. You can prove this very easily by multiplication,” she chided the much larger mare.
“Ya mean ya want me to mulsify it?”
“No. Not mulsify, mulTIply,” Silver stressed, releasing a bit of spittle.
Surprise wiped her hand over her snout. “Mulsify?”
“Aright.” Leaving the first equation intact, Surprise moved over to the middle of the board. “Now first we gotta put down the thirteen,” she explained as she drew the number.
“Times seven!” Silver bellowed.
“Right.” She drew the seven beneath the thirteen. “Seven days times thirteen, right? Seven times three?
“Twenty one.”
“Twenty one.” She drew the twenty one below the seven. “Seven times one?”
“Seven.”
Surprise drew a seven below the twenty one and then a line under that. “Seven and one?”
“Eight.” She drew an eight below the seven. “And two to carry.” And she added a two beside the eight, leaving a very fine looking twenty eight.
The mares looked like they were in varying states of pain as they tried to wrap their heads around what they’d just seen. Luna had even conjured her own pencil and paper to try and work the math herself.
“Now wait a minute. Wait a minute,” Silver said again. “I am still not convinced. There’s one sure way of proving this. One sure way, and that is by addition.”
“You want me addition it up?”
“I want you to put thirteen seven times on that wall, put a line under it, and add them up,” Silver ordered, sounding like she was on her last nerve.
“You want me to put thirteen down seven times?”
“That’s right.”
Surprise chuckled under her breath. “It’s gonna come out right.” And she moved over to the last part of the board. “There’s one,” she listed off. “Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Now we’re gonna add ‘em up, right?”
“Alright. Go ahead.”
“Alright.” Surprise tapped the marker up each of the threes and listed off. “Three. Six. Nine.”
“Wait a minute,” Silver said as she grabbed Surprise’s shoulder mid count. “Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Let me do the adding this time,” she declared smugly, certain she would not be bamboozled this time.
“Heh, it’ll come out right,” Surprise stated as she resumed counting. “Three. Six. Nine.”
“Just a minute.” Silver tapped on Surprise’s shoulder again. “I will do the adding, then there will be no mistake,” she declared with a laugh.
“Yeah?” Surprise asked and handed over the marker.
“Twenty eight bits,” Silver laughed.
“Go ahead. You add it up,” Surprise said as she gave the bat an encouraging slap on the back.
Surprise then pulled Silver back to pick up where she left off by counting the ones. “Twenty two. Twenty three. Twenty four. Twenty five. Twenty six. Twenty seven. Twenty eight!” And she finished by writing out the number before Silver could counter.
Stunned, Silver quietly mumbled the numbers to herself as she held out her fingers to try and count. Honey had joined Thomas in laughter at the expense of the others while they agonized over the ‘math’ on display.
**********
Luna had asked Surprise and Honey to excuse themselves for a bit so that everypony could ‘relieve some stress’, which was such obvious innuendo that most of them wondered why Luna even bothered, and the applicants made themselves scarce for a short time. The pair did, in fact, find things much calmer upon their return; so much in fact that all began to wonder what else there was to do to pass the time.
“Luna,” Silver inquired. “How would you rank yourself in audio-based illusion magic?”
Luna raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Fairly adept. What did you have in mind?”
Silver’s smile grew. “Could you, perhaps, play us some music, the sort we might all sing to?”
Luna shifted her weight as she sat on the bed and gave the smaller mare a wry grin. “Am I correct in assuming that you mean to propose a night of karaoke?”
She nodded.
“Who-hoo!” cheered Surprise, throwing up her hands in celebration. “Karaoke! I love karaoke! It sounds so fun!”
“What’s kara-o-ke?” asked Moonlight, carefully sounding out the word. “Sounds foreign.”
“It’s this delightful pastime recently brought over from Neighpan,” beamed Silver, quietly noting the way Honey shook with giddy anticipation. “It’s quite popular in Prance, although it has yet to catch on in other provinces. The idea is…” she trailed off, hesitating. “How do I explain this? It’s like a singing competition, but without winners.” She frowned at the confusion her words caused.
“Karaoke isn’t about sounding good,” Thomas chipped in. “It’s about sounding bad together.”
Silver laughed softly. “I would have preferred a more elegant explanation, but I suppose that fits.”
“So we just sing whatever we want, cutting loose in a soundproof room with no fear of judgment?” asked Surprise.
“Indeed,” said Silver.
“Basically yeah,” Thomas added with a nod.
“Music mare!” proclaimed Surprise as she spun around, arm and finger outstretched as she booped Luna right in the snoot. “Let’s music this place up!”
Giggling at the pegasi’s antics, Luna clapped her hands, dimming the lights, and set the stage. A digital looking screen manifested in the middle of the room. It glowed with bright pink light as multi-colored text appeared, listing a large variety of songs.
“The spell will play the music automatically,” Luna explained. “And you may watch the screen if you are unfamiliar with the lyrics.”
Thomas had seen enough karaoke in anime to figure that, minus the microphones, Luna had set up all the essentials they needed. He stepped forward, finding the screen to be a touch screen, and scrolled through the list of songs. He recognized many from MLP’s soundtrack, spotted a few human songs that only he would know, and rolled his eyes at just how painful some of the horse puns on display were.
“Rock paper scissors ta see who goes first?” suggested Honey. An excited whinny escaped her mouth, which she tried in vain to hide.
Honey and Moonlight won the first round, granting them the distinct pleasure of butchering ‘Winter Wrap Up’. Honey kept stumbling over the larger words and Moonlight’s attempts at hitting the high notes sounded like someone was slaughtering a pig. While initially nervous, a gentle word from Thomas reminded them that sounding bad was the point, and the pair began to cut loose in the second half, singing their lungs out and grinning from ear to ear.
Next on the chopping block was Luna and Surprise, doing a ponified version of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’. The melody was subdued and the lyrics were just as out there as the human version. Both mares swayed their bodies to the easy-going beat, pausing every now and then at some reference Thomas didn’t understand but assumed was dirty.
Then Thomas and Silver got their turn with Mulan’s ‘A Girl worth Fighting For’. Silver’s talent allowed her to easily pick up on the lyrics, but the reversal of sex roles on display still gave her pause in places. Thomas did his best to mimic the voices of the original singers, earning many chuckles from his audience and partner. Much to Silver’s chagrin, her efforts to ignore the comedic overtones and play the song straight only served to make it funnier.
They gave up on any sense of order after that. Instead they rigged the screen to pick songs at random and the singers would jump at whatever sounded fun. Singles, duets, trios, and more, the gang sang them all, laughing at how terribly they sounded and cheering whenever someone other than Silver managed to sing on key. Silver earned her cheers after giving in to peer pressure and being as silly as the rest of them, heightening her pitch to sound like her lungs were full of helium.
With dinner fast approaching, they knew they had time for only one more song. But when the shuffler had made its final selection, the normally timid Thomas immediately assumed control, donning a serious expression.
“Alright. Everybody line up. We’re doing this right,” he ordered, surprising the chipper mares with his sudden onset of seriousness. “Okay. For this, I’m gonna need everybody to sing like you’re doing an impression of a guy. We can’t afford to desecrate this song with anything short of absolute manliness.”
“Like this?” Silver asked, making the others flinch with her striking imitation of Flutter-Guy.
“Uh… sure. That works,” admitted Thomas as he got everyone into position before turning to Luna. “You got this from my head, right?”
She nodded.
“Any chance you can bring the visuals, too?”
Luna grinned and nodded at the screen. It flashed to life as the title appeared, blasting those assembled with pure, concentrated 80s mega hype. Bodies tingled and shook as the music began to take its hold in what the mares recognized as harmony magic in song form; tonal magic, the same ethereal force that allowed impromptu musicals to go off with perfect coordination, no matter the size of the assembled group.
The screen rolled down to depict New York City, the Statue of Liberty in the forefront as fireworks went off all around it. Balloons of many colors rose through the air, climbing across the beautifully rendered detail of Lady Liberty’s stoic visage. Higher and higher the balloons rose as the full moon was partially eclipsed by an aircraft and Thomas read the first lyrics.
“Crashing through the sky. Comes a fearful cry.”
“Cobra-cobraaaa,” the mares sang, “Cobra-cobraaaa!”
At the same time, Luna’s ear twitched when Gemini whispered to her. There were intruders in the castle. They’d broken in just a few floors down, bypassing all regular security wards except for the simulacrum itself. Three hostages had been taken. While the intent of the team of two dozen was unclear at the moment, Gemini, being the playful sort, not only redirected a nearby squad from their regular patrol, but decided to channel the song into invaded area.
Back in Luna’s room, the mares’ bodies collectively tensed as the villainous “armies of the night” made their descent, terrorizing the hapless civilians. The song demanded action, demanded that the evil be stopped, but, paradoxically, it also demanded that they stay put. The more military minded mares were the most harshly affected by this conundrum, with Moonlight even grinding her teeth as she sang.
“Who can turn the tiiiide?”
And when that first shot was fired, when the jet pack was shot down and the blond commando stood with his smoking gun upon Lady Liberty’s torch, the mares’ singing changed from frustrated growls to cheers of victory.
**********
There was a quiet melody floating in the air, and it was making Shining’s blood boil. After an especially late night, he’d met up with three rookies on patrol and decided to impart a bit of wisdom as their superior. He hadn’t, however, expected to come across intruders in the lunar wing, holding three servants hostage no less. Feeling the call to action, Captain Shining armor sounded out what, at the time, sounded like the most appropriate battle cry.
**********
“G.I. Jooooe!” the harem sang in triumph.
“Real American herooo.”
**********
“Yo Joe!”
By their very nature, ponies were not a violent people. Few actually enjoyed violence and fewer actively sought it out outside of a bar scuffle or friendly sparring. Even their military went to great lengths, greater than most races, to psychologically brace recruits for the horrors of true combat, relying primarily on sense of duty and patriotism rather than the thrill of the fight. Yet despite this fundamental truth, fists were raised and hooves stomped as the Joes began their attack, the plethora of violence on display exciting rather than horrifying.
**********
Shining was the first into the fray, charging with his signature shield spell around him right into the largest concentration of thugs. He knocked them down like a bowling ball with pins. In the confusion, the pegasus guard swooped in and snatched up one hostage and flew off to safety while the unicorn guard winked in, grabbed the two others, and winked back out. This left shining with only one rookie earth pony to guard his back while the remaining thugs picked themselves up and readied for a fight.
“Good,” Shining mumbled to himself as he looked upon his means of relieving stress. “That evens things up a bit.”
The unicorn thugs threw volleys of poorly aimed spells at the guards, which ricocheted off the seemingly non-reflective walls and bounced right back at their casters. Punches followed as Shining and his subordinate stayed shoulder-to-shoulder, taking out their assailants two or three at a time as they got in close. All the while the quiet, energizing melody continued to play. When some of the winged intruders tried to make a break for it, they flew smack dab into the pegasus guard who took out three at once with a single tackle. The unicorn guard winked back in and, not having as much trouble aiming as the intruders, hit his mark every time with an accuracy he’d never experienced before. All the while the music played, giving the necessary cues as the conflicting parties went at it.
**********
Without needing to be told, Silver volunteered to speak the narration, her deep base fitting seamlessly as she read out the group’s advertisement. And when it came time for Cobra Commander to sound the retreat, Moonlight somehow knew to give her best wheezing voice to sound extra pitiful.
It was at the song’s crescendo, when they all crowed the songs final lyrics, that they remembered the balcony door had been left open. They remembered because a group of bald eagles, who at some point had assembled along the balcony’s railing, all threw up their wings and mightily crowed their triumphant screeches.
When the moment passed and the adrenaline was starting to fall, the mares and man stared awkwardly at the eagles. The eagles stared back, twitching their heads curiously as they took in their surroundings. Dawn was on the horizon and they took off, wanting to return to their nests before the sun rose. Once they were out of sight, Luna and her harem looked at one another before bursting out in laughter at the absurdity of what had just happened.
**********
Meanwhile, down below, Shining and his escort of rookies had just finished off the last of the thugs just as lunar reinforcements had finally arrived. There hadn’t been any fatalities, but the groaning intruders sounded like they wished they were dead. With the music finally ended and his mind clear, Shining realized exactly what had just transpired. He narrowed his eyes accusingly up at the ceiling, knowing without a doubt that Gemini had just done something.
**********
Luna was thusly informed about the neutralization of the intruders. Still no word on what they’d hoped to accomplish, but she was given a brief summary of the performance of Shining and his rookies. Said rookies performed with the coordination of veterans and even the Captain, despite his mental fatigue, was at peak performance. Luna made telepathic contact with her sister and both agreed that the song would be making its home in their private arsenal.
Firestorm let out a long, tired sigh and leaned back in his seat as he stared at the latest reports from ‘the incident’, as some had taken to call it. His private office was a small, unassuming place, with walls lined to the brim with his favorite books, hardwood floors, and a modest desk that none but the highest class of caster would so much as suspect held anything suspicious.
Sitting across from the one armed stallion sat a rather plain looking bat mare. Her fur was pitch black while her mane and tail were a stark white. She’d arrived not too long ago, butt naked as per direction; less conspicuous that way. She sat with a ladylike grace while enjoying the tea her boss had brewed for her.
“Something wrong, sir?” It was a question she was expected to ask. Firestorm was unlikely to divulge anything, otherwise.
Firestorm clucked his tongue and held up an open folder. “It’s just my agents got this report to me in record time.”
The bat mare furrowed her brow. “Is that not a good thing?”
“Yes and no. Yes in that it expedites our work by leaps and bounds,” Firestorm explained. “No in that it’s a sign of the sad state of things when Canterlot Castle’s defenses could be so easily circumvented.”
The mare frowned. “Perhaps somepony should inform them as much?”
“Yeah. somepony should,” he agreed. “But for now,” he tapped his finger to the papers. “Tell me, do you know of tonal magic?”
The mare straightened in her seat, shuffling her wings to get comfortable. Now the meeting was beginning in earnest. “I imagine everypony does, sir.”
“Like asking if you know the Princesses’ names, right?” he asked rhetorically. He smiled at his little joke, but the mare gave no response. “Elaborate,” he said, continuing to smile.
The mare nodded. “It is the phenomenon wherein ponies, sometimes individuals but usually larger groups, will break out into impromptu song and dance while performing some sort of task.” That had been a fairly textbook definition, but Firestorm looked like he wanted more. “I understand tonal events have been happening quite frequently in Ponyville as of late.”
“Have they now?” Firestorm asked, although his tone showed that he’d wanted the conversation steered this way. “Why is that, I wonder?”
The mare stared back at her boss; curious what he wanted her to say. “The papers seem to believe that Ponyville itself is to blame, that the use of the Elements of Harmony has triggered some shift in the region’s etheric energy.”
Firestorm snorted dismissively. That had not been the right answer.
“More likely,” she continued, “it is the element bearers who are the cause. Their connection to the Elements has-”
Firestorm cleared his throat.
The mare blinked and rethought what she was about to say. She was on the right track, but her answer was incomplete. “No. Not the connection,” she realized. “It is the Element Bearers themselves who are the cause. The increase in tonal events is a side effect of an unusually profound destiny shared by these mares; one that made them worthy of wielding the Elements long before laying a hoof upon them.”
Firestorm nodded. “Glad at least somepony’s paying attention,” he huffed. His annoyance stemmed from reading the mainstream news. So-called ‘experts’ had gotten it in their heads that the use of the Elements had turned Ponyville into some sort of holy ground. Mares from all over had gotten it in their heads to make the trek to the town just to have their foals, thinking being born in the town would somehow imbue said foals with profound destinies comparable to Twilight. One of the more annoying aspects of that particular myth had been how everypony had conveniently forgotten that the Elements had been used at the old castle in the Everfree, making the premise behind these pilgrimages flawed right down to the core. It was only after the especially stupid petition to get the ‘mane six’, as the papers liked to call them, to start blasting the sacred weapon of immense power into population centers that Celestia put had her hoof down and brought a swift, decisive end to the madness. Many a journalist was left without work after the purge, a reminder to all information brokers to better check their sources.
“However,” the mare continued, “I cannot say that I am familiar with instances of tonal magic ever being used to inflict harm as described in the incident at the lunar wing.”
“And why do you think that is?” Firestorm asked, flipping through his papers.
The mare’s ears flicked as she thought. “I can think of two likely reasons. Either incidents of tonal magic inflicting harm are so rare that there is almost no recordings of it actually happening, or-”
“Or?”
“… or the crowns deliberately keep such phenomenon opaque.”
“Both,” Firestorm affirmed. “Princesses think it best if the ignorant masses stay ignorant about all the monsters that lurk in the darkness, waiting, itching for a chance to pounce and rip us to pieces,” he said disinterestedly. “That’s at least one thing we agree on.”
“Sir?”
“We ponies are a skittish lot by nature. It takes months, even years of specialized training just so recruits even have the nerve to hold their ground and not run away the moment something frightens them. If the masses knew about even half the stuff I’d seen, they’d all freeze up and civilization would come to a swift and decisive end. That’s how the Princesses can claim to hold the moral high ground while keeping most news outlets on such a tight leash. They’re doing it for our own good,” he said with an odd smile on his lips.
The mare took another sip of her tea. “Then it’s a good thing our agents acted as quickly as they did, before the guards could be sworn to secrecy.”
“No, bad,” Firestorm countered gruffly. “If scoundrels like us could get in without being detected, then who knows what other villains might be afoot.”
“Afoot, sir?”
“Sorry. Still playing with these human words. After a while they just sort of roll off the tongue, ya know,” he said, waving his hand whimsically. He then sat up in his chair, now looking directly at his subordinate. “Anyway, ponies being swept up by tonal magic in the aftermath of some big battle is pretty par for the course. It’s like the spirit of Harmony itself is celebrating, acting through the ponies as avatars of its will. However, there’s not so much intel on tonal magic taking place during a battle.”
“Sir,” the mare affirmed.
“CEI’s been experimenting with ways of triggering such phenomenon consciously, but with minimal success.” He took a sip of his own tea, using his hand instead of his magic. “Don’t get me wrong, though. Those few successes have been quite impressive, to say the least. However, there’s a shit ton of factors involved and a mistake anywhere could leak to a collapse of the whole spell matrix.”
“It’s only natural they’d latch onto the incident in the castle,” the mare inferred.
“Yes, but there something those old farts aren’t seeing,” Firestorm continued, sounding more serious than before. “All this time listening to dearest Thomas has led me to view his kind in a way even the Princesses might not see.” He popped his lips. “I’ve studied his body language and manner of speech even more closely than those mares of his. He doesn’t like to talk about it often, but there’s a dark, terrifying side to humanity. I can hear it in some of the stories he tells. There’s an excitement to the conflict, and I don’t mean Daring Do grade punch a few baddies in self-defense and then fly off. I mean heroes and villains beating the ever-loving shit out of each other, each giving their all in a desperate bid just to survive.”
The mare tilted her head. “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t think I understand.”
“He’s a civilian, Black,” Firestorm stressed. “He tries to hide it, but I can tell. He’s a civilian from a culture that practically fetishizes war. Have a look for yourself.” He tore a page from the report and slid it across the table. It was the one with the lyrics of the song that had started this whole mess.
Black read as ordered. As she did, her chest began to swell with each breath. She was mouthing the words like a filly on her first day of class. The song… With the lyrics at her fingertips, it was almost like she could hear the very music as her heart increased in tempo.
“There,” Firestorm said, snatching the paper from Black’s hands. “You felt it, didn’t you? You felt the power, the thrill behind the words.”
Black blinked and worked to get her breathing back under control. She nodded nervously as the realization set in. “S-sir.”
“Tonal magic affects ponies differently. Most anypony’ll pick up a hoe and start tilling if they hear a farming song, so long as doing so falls into their area of expertise or was their intent from the start. But a song about fighting,” Firestorm trailed off to collect his thoughts. “The mares of the harem just thought it was a neat little ditty that got their blood pumping. But for you, for those guards, it was a call to action. No doubt that’s what Gemini was going for. When you combine that with the actual need for action, you’ve got instant muscle memory, virtually living choreography that wills all parties present to follow each and every step, be it a well-timed backflip or charging face first into your enemy’s fist.
“That’s the secret our little human has cracked, the one the CEI and so many others have been struggling with for centuries,” he continued, speaking softly. “Ponies. Hate. War.” He leaned back in his seat. “It’s so obvious. Ponies hate war. Sure, our ancestors used to invade and slaughter each other a lot, but it was never viewed as anything good. Even the pegasi – with their centuries of military tradition – have been more about the protocol than the fighting. Hell, even minotaurs and griffons might be more open to a good fight, but they’ve always avoided full scale conflict whenever possible.”
“And the dragons, sir?” Black asked. It was, after all, just common sense that dragons were the most aggressive sentient race to call Equestria home. How did they fit into all this?
Firestorm paused. “Dragons have historically been, to put it politely, tone-deaf. Their version of singing is just roaring, without any obvious rhythm behind it. Tonal magic, it seems, is particular about the music, as well as the emotion behind it.” Firestorm didn’t say anything for a while. He just tapped his fingers against his desk as his brow scrunched in thought. “Humans, by contrast, seem to hit the sweet spot of both intent and ability. They don’t suck at singing and, at least on an abstract level, have a liking for war.”
“Then… shouldn’t we act?” Black asked. She stood up, ready to take action. “If this human is so dangerous, why do we not seize him for ourselves?”
“Because it isn’t that simple,” Firestorm growled in warning until Black sat back down. “Tonal magic has been studied for centuries and, while there are certainly contributing factors at work; it’s basically like a wild storm, wind sweeping of its own accord and causing storms only specialist weather teams can handle. If I’m right, and I usually am, the spirit behind the song is only part of the equation. You still need circumstance to actually make something happen. If those thugs hadn’t picked that exact moment to stumble in, we’d all be none the wiser. Besides that, what few instances the CEI’s had in triggering tonal conflict consciously has involved a shit ton of power behind it. In this case, it was the music being played by an alicorn’s magic and channeled by the most powerful simulacrum in the known world that made it all possible.”
“That still leaves the danger of the human walking free,” Black insisted. “Even if he doesn’t know, somepony else might figure it out and snatch him up before we can.”
“You honestly think I haven’t considered that?” Firestorm asked, his tone contemptuous of his subordinate. “I’ve been monitoring him and his security for months now. What happened last night was a freak among coincidences where those thugs picked the best time to exploit a hole in regular castle security, but they weren’t so ready for the irregular wards. My money’s on a security leak that’s bound to be plugged inside a week. They also picked the absolute worst time to break in, meeting up with a patrol that had Shining – Faust damned – Armor with them, on top of the Faust damned tonal magic. After last night, security around the chimp’ll only tighten. There’s nothing we could do even if we wanted to,” he informed flatly.
Black scowled, not liking this situation one bit.
“But if you insist, by all means,” Firestorm offered.
“Sir?”
“Go ahead. Test the defenses and the Princess’ temper by trying to steal her favorite buck buddy.” He chuckled and took another sip of his drink. “They’ll probably have to dust off the chopping block, though.” The stallion then made a slicing motion under his chin, complete with a *shing* sound effect.
Black gulped and ran her hand over her neck, suddenly looking less gung-ho.
“Speaking of heads, I do believe a certain someone is due for a checkup.” With a swish of his fingers and a flick of his magic, Firestorm’s desk began to unfold and open around the middle. The crystal ball that emerged was pale blue, but otherwise perfectly ordinary to the untrained eyed.
Black knew better, though. This crystal ball was layered with top tier enchantments, allowing for scrying into places that would otherwise be impenetrable.
“Let’s see what our little friend is up to, shall we?”
**********
“Nervous?” Moonlight asked.
“Kinda,” Thomas admitted, hating how childish it made him sound. He and Moonlight were sitting in the waiting room of the castle’s infirmary. “It’s kinda like going to the dentist. They lay you down, poke and prod, and the best thing you can hope for is that they have nothing to say.”
Moonlight pursed her lips. There wasn’t much chance of the doctors having nothing to say. Him being the only one of his kind in the land and this being his first major checkup in months basically made ‘nothing’ a virtual impossibility. She decided not to voice these thoughts, though. Instead, she took his hand in hers and gave it a good squeeze. He squeezed back, and she smiled.
The door opened and a white and brown mare poked her head out. The tag on her coat read Nurse Easy Check. “Mr. Thomas. The doctor is ready to see you now.”
Thomas nodded, took in a quick breath, and let it out slowly. “Alright then.” He stood and followed the nurse down the hall, Moonlight trailing him like a shadow every step of the way.
**********
“That’s quite the image,” Black noted as she observed the 3D projection from the crystal ball. It was like there was a real life pony and human walking right along Firestorm’s desk, only miniaturized. “Remarkable detail.”
“Just wait,” Firestorm cautioned.
**********
The first stage of the examination was pretty standard stuff. Nurse Check took his weight and height, stuck a tongue depressant in his mouth while looking down his throat, and then asked him to sit while she took his blood pressure.
“Alright. All seems normal,” Check said.
Thomas straightened up a bit in hope. “That basically means unchanged from last time, right?”
Nurse Check nodded. “So far, yes. The doctor will be in shortly to-”
“Ah! There he is!” The stallion that Thomas recognized as Doctor Feelgood came through the door with his arms outstretched in welcome. While normally terrible with names, the man was able to recognize the stallion by the large spot of white fir on his face. It contrasted distinctly with the solid red fur on the rest of his body. “The man of the hour.”
“Been a while,” Thomas said and offered his hand to the old stallion.
“Too long, I say,” Feelgood replied enthusiastically as he shook Thomas’ hand. “So how’s my favorite human patient doing? Anything scientifically groundbreaking happen recently? Odd bumps, unexplained lactation, spontaneous color changes?”
Moonlight’s face scrunched in disgust at what she was hearing. It sounded as though this quack was just using her stallion to advance his own career. Most of those symptoms didn’t even sound real. No wonder Thomas didn’t like going to the doctor.
“No. No. Aaand… if I say no a third time, would that stop you from checking for those things anyway?” Thomas asked rhetorically.
Moonlight’s ear flicked. Thomas sounded more annoyed than threatened, so she relaxed just a bit.
“My good sir. I’m afraid it would be criminally irresponsible of me not to run each and every medical checkup at my disposal. As your head doctor, I am not only responsible for your wellbeing, but also the foremost expert on human physiology in all of Equestria,” Feelgood crowed, straightening out his white coat. “The Princesses themselves have imparted onto me this most sacred of duties, so take heed, young human, for I shall do all in my power to ensure that you live a long and healthy life!”
Moonlight blinked, having not previously considered him being personally assigned by the Princesses. If they trusted him, the who was she to question?
“Speaking of which…” Doctor Feelgood began fishing around in his coat pocket and pulled out a painted stick with two triangles on the end. “Kindly balance this on your finger.”
Frowning uncertainly, Thomas held up his hand and pointed his index finger out. The doctor grinned and set the stick into place. It wobbled a bit, but was short enough that he had little trouble keeping it from tipping.
“What sort of test is this?” Moonlight asked. The stick looked to be just an ordinary stick made of ordinary wood; no discernable active or passive magic, either.
“My friend’s latest invention,” Feelgood said, staring with absolute focus down on the balancing stick. “It’s supposed to test for digestive problems.” He frowned. “Or was this the one that caused the erectile dysfunction?”
Without thinking, Moonlight immediately slapped the stick off of Thomas’ finger.
“Thanks,” Thomas muttered in relief, rubbing his finger.
“Oh that’s right!” Feelgood exclaimed. “My sincerest apologies,” he said, going to fetch the stick across the floor. “This is the one that tests for pregnancy, parasites, and other related maladies.” He held the stick up to his face and examined it carefully. “Nope. All good on that front.”
As the good doctor began taking notes, the nurse saw fit to step in. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Not as sorry as he’s about to be,” Moonlight growled.
“Doctor Feelgood can be a little… scatterbrained sometimes, but he really is a brilliant physician.”
“And astrologist,” Feelgood insistently added over his shoulder. “Don’t forget astrologist.”
“Yes, astrologist,” nurse Check sighed her exasperation. “He’s just been waiting for the chance to see Thomas again for so long, he’s a little overeager.”
“Speaking of which.” Doctor Feelgood spun around and tapped a pen at his notes. His horn glowed and cast a wide field of light over Thomas, what Moonlight recognized as a medical grade low tier scan. When the scan ended, the doctor resumed taking notes. “Improved muscle mass overall, steadier pulse, cholesterol unchanged, brainwaves unchanged, da da daaa,” he trailed off, marking checks in his notes. “All in all, no notable changes, except in areas which, if you were a pony, I’d have to say were signs of good health. Human skin grows paler if not sufficiently exposed to the sun, yes?”
“A little, yeah,” Thomas admitted. “I’ve gone out in the sun a bit more, like you suggested, but not that much.”
“Hmm.” Doctor Feelgood resumed tapping idly at his notes. “You said previously that humans are normally diurnal, suggesting a relatively high need for Vitamin D. That’s high compared to bat ponies, but probably closer to the needs of the other tribes,” he explained, voicing his thoughts as they came. “Your D levels are about the same as last time, so presumably you’re consuming a sufficient amount of eggs, fish, and milk to compensate for the lack of sun, yes?”
Thomas nodded.
“Yet there is no observable change in skin tone.” Feelgood slapped the back of his pen to the papers. “Why is that, I wonder?”
Thomas shrugged and looked up at the glass dome on the ceiling, illuminating the room. “Maybe magic light is close enough to natural sunlight?”
Feelgood frowned. “If that’s the case, then how would any human ever go pale?”
“Our lights don’t work like that, remember?”
“Oh! Oh yes, that’s right,” Feelgood smiled as he recalled. “You lack magic. So where as ponies prefer magical lighting whenever possible, crystals and unicorn lamps and the like, humans rely almost exclusively on florescent lighting, yes?”
Thomas nodded again.
“Hmm.” Feelgood scribbled more notes onto his papers. These questions and more followed as the good doctor recorded everything. Most of his conclusions were drawn from a mixture of data collected from their last session, Thomas’ speculation, comparisons to the physiology of whichever of the pony tribes seemed most applicable, and things that may or may not have been pulled from Feelgood’s own ass.
Moonlight frowned as the interrogation continued and wrapped an arm protectively around Thomas’ shoulder. She hated how much of her stallion’s health was dependent on a guessing game. More so, she hated how powerless it made her feel to know that there was nothing she could do about it. A mare who couldn’t protect her stallion was no mare at all.
Feelgood stood. “Alright then. If you’ll come with me, we can begin the more in-depth examination.” He pushed the door open and gestured for Thomas to walk ahead.
“Sure,” he agreed, nodding as he left. His mare followed, practically glued to his side as they walked. She felt tense against him, so he tried wrapping his arm around her waist. It helped, but not by much.
The nurse accompanied them the whole way.
The room Doctor Feelgood directed them to was quite the large one. The walls were the standard stale white of any medical facility, but the machine in the center was another story. It was truly a massive and imposing thing that touched the ceiling and filled up more than half the room. It looked to be made of a combination of metal, wood, finely cut crystal, and some parts might have even been flesh. It almost looked alive the way pumps and tubes sent various substances throughout the machine’s body. Bulbs sparked to life in odd patterns and… was that a xylophone in the back?
Feelgood smiled. “Like it? We’ve made some improvements since last time.”
“Apparently,” Moonlight noted apprehensively. The base machine looked like a fairly standard magical scanner, the same that was present in just about every worthwhile hospital in the country. No two machines were exactly the same, with many being given custom modifications depending on that hospital’s needs. However, it looked like the modifications on this machine seemed to border on the… extra-legal side of things.
Thomas stared up near the top of the machine and pointed. “Is that why that part there looks like a smiley face?”
Feelgood looked up at the indicated area. The electricity perpetually sparking between two tesla coils was arching downwards, resembling a smile. The exhaust port belching out green smoke, which was thankfully sucked in by one of many vents stationed around the room, seemed to make for an adequate nose. Lastly, just above the exhaust port were two sets of crystals that were arranged in just such a way that – as Feelgood finally recognized – resembled a pair of red, beaming eyes. “Ah. I see. That’s quite the eye you have there, Mr. Thomas.”
Thomas cared little for the praise. “Does it… talk?” He wasn’t sure if he was ready to learn that it did.
“Not yet, but we’re getting there,” assured Feelgood with a chipper grin. “Anyway, would you be so kind as to come around here so we may begin?”
Thomas moved to the seat Feelgood had indicated, directly below the face. It was an open glass cylinder with a curved seat in the middle.
“Ah ah!” Feelgood snapped. “The loincloth.”
“Oh. Sorry.” Thomas slipped out of his uniform, the one thing he’d been wearing, and handed it to Moonlight. It didn’t feel quite so awkward being naked going to see the doctor. He sat down and the seat shifted, tightening around his waist as it conformed to his particular shape. It was actually rather cozy.
Nodding his approval, Feelgood went around to the front corner of the machine. The primary control station, covered in numerous knobs and gauges, was situated so that the doctor could maintain eye contact with the patient at all times. Nurse Check took her position on the opposite corner with the support station. “Alright then. Shall we begin?”
Thomas nodded. “May as well.”
Feelgood flipped a switch and the machine began to thrum and churn with its many moving parts. “You know the procedure. Just try not to move unless I say otherwise,” he reminded.
“Yeah. I know.”
Moonlight tightened her grip around the loincloth as she watched. It hadn’t been so long ago that she’d been asked to sit on one of these machines, herself. It was all perfectly mundane and ordinary. Even Thomas seemed perfectly at ease as he sat and waited for the machine to get to work. However, there was a strange niggling in the back of her head, a sense of foreboding that she couldn’t quite explain.
Twin beams of green and blue light shown down from the top of the cylinder. When the mechanisms started turning the light sources, the beams bent as they were moved along. In time they resembled a double helix as they encircled and passed through Thomas like he wasn’t even there. Thomas rubbed the back of his hands against his seat. He was careful not to move too much, but the itching still demanded his attention. Other than that, he felt nothing.
“What exactly are you scanning for?” Moonlight asked.
Doctor Feelgood clucked his tongue. “First time it was for everything, but with a special emphasis on bacteria and viruses. We were dealing with an alien, after all,” he informed plainly.
Moonlight tensed and pursed her lips. It made sense that Thomas’ crown appointed physician would be in on his origins, but she felt dumb for not thinking to ask earlier. Given the lack of reaction from the nurse, it seemed she also knew. Just how many ponies knew about this secret anyway?
“We took various samples, but there was nothing that proved harmful one way or the other,” Feelgood continued. “Kept him in a quarantine bubble for a while anyway, just to be on the safe side. Just the standard fare, not even a centimeter off his skin, so he was still free to move around when not being tested.”
Moonlight frowned. “Quarantine bubble? Luna still insists on casting defensive wards on him every day. Is the quarantine still in effect?”
“What? No,” Feelgood said and waved his hand dismissively. “Well, not really. The Princess, for reasons that seem pretty obvious in hindsight,” he chuckled, “was being a little overprotective. Things like temperature insulation and foot guards didn’t interfere with any of our scans, so we allowed it.”
“I’m not complaining,” Thomas chimed in. “It’s nice to be able to go wherever I like without shoes.”
But Moonlight didn’t look satisfied. “Don’t such wards build on themselves, though? And aren’t all standard wards just weaker versions of an isolation shield?”
“That’s a little oversimplified, but you’re not too far off,” Feelgood answered while keeping his attention on the machine’s readings. “They’re all derived from the same matrix structure, like how ponies and horses all share the same ancestor way back when, so the base function is pretty similar for each ward. So yes, the similar core matrices of each ward spell will overlap and build on one another so that insulation against harsh weather is amplified by the foot shield.”
**********
“Learning anything new?” Firestorm asked.
Black said nothing, but continued to watch and listen.
**********
“Which reminds me of something else I’ve been meaning to ask,” Feelgood continued with no overt change in tone or body language. “Human hair and surface skin cells are already lifeless, yes?”
“As far as I know,” Thomas affirmed.
“With that in mind, how long does it take for live cells to die?”
Thomas blinked and frowned at the doctor. “I don’t think I follow.”
“When we took those original samples, hair, urine, blood, and so on, we kept most of them frozen and under isolation spells, as is standard. We unfroze them for study, but still kept them under the wards. However, whenever we dispelled the wards on one of the samples, the cells seemed to die much faster than we’re used to. Even those in otherwise airtight and isolated containers didn’t last more than about thirty days, only a few hours in complete exposure.”
Thomas involuntarily shrugged. “Sounds pretty normal to me. Things meant to live in the body don’t last too long outside. If you just left a petri dish out in the open, yeah. I don’t see any amount of blood lasting for more than a few hours.” He licked his dry lips. “I’m guessing it’s different with ponies.”
“By quite the margin,” Feelgood affirmed, smiling excitedly at this revelation. “Under the condition you described, a petri dish left out in the open, I’d give a pony cell culture no less than five days. Full wards would bring it up to fifty. Full wards and frozen, well, that’d probably last a lifetime. And human cells are different?”
“I guess so.” Thomas could only shrug. His medical knowledge didn’t go much further than watching a handful of hospital shows, so he was about as much in the dark as Feelgood.
“What does that mean, exactly?” Moonlight asked. “Is that a problem?”
“What? No. No problem,” Feelgood informed excitedly. “It just means his discarded cells don’t live as long as those of a pony. At worst, it just means we’ll need to take a little extra blood for our reserves, you know, just in case.”
Moonlight frowned as she reached a rather upsetting conclusion. “If cells don’t last long after leaving the body, does that include sperm cells?”
Thomas tensed. He knew what that meant.
Moonlight, however, saw his apprehension. “Not now, of course!” she assured. “We’re both still too young. I’d like to get a little further in my career before I’m ready for a foal. Besides, it’d be better if our herd was a bit bigger, you know.” She cursed internally. What she’d said was common sense by pony standards, so it was rude to assume he’d have picked up on something like that, especially for something they’d never really discussed before.
Thomas sighed his relief and nodded. Waiting sounded good. Then again, he was prone to procrastination in general. He looked at the doctor. “You tested for that before, right? I remember you saying the results were… inconclusive?”
“I did,” Feelgood said with a nod, “and it still is. Your cells die quicker, sure, but in a matter of hours as we’ve observed. It only takes minutes for the little buggers to make the journey to the ovaries, so no problems on that front; at least as far as I can tell.”
“But?” Moonlight asked.
Feelgood sighed. “It’s tricky because that sort of thing isn’t easily tested. We’d need you to donate some live eggs during your next heat. If the test ends up being positive and the egg is successfully inseminated, it’s recognized by law as a life and you just said you don’t want to be a dame yet.”
Moonlight tensed, but noted Thomas’ confusion and explained. Contrary to many nations on Earth, Equestrian law recognized that life began at conception. If a live embryo was created, the doctors would be legally obligated to ensure its survival, the same as any newborn. The simplest scenario would be to freeze the hybrid embryo until such time as Moonlight and Thomas both agreed they wanted to be parents, at which point the embryo would be unfrozen and implanted in Moonlight’s womb at her next heat. To put the embryo up for adoption, so to speak, was out of the question as far as she was concerned. While she wasn’t ready yet, she still dreamed of one day being a dame to some adorable foal, the product of love shared between her and her beloved stallion.
Thomas just nodded along and agreed with what Moonlight said. He’d all but given up on even having a serious girlfriend back on Earth, so the idea of being a father was especially difficult to process. Thankfully Moonlight didn’t press the issue. In the end, all this meant was that they’d have to be like everyone else in heat season and make the decision to play it safe with protection or take their chances.
**********
“Would they actually allow a hybrid to be born?” Black asked.
Firestorm shrugged. “Probably. Celestia likes to hold them up as symbols of peace between races. I don’t see Luna disagreeing too much, especially with dearest Thomas. Love sick mare’s just itching to be an aunt again.” He smirked to himself at the thought that, had he spoken so disrespectfully of the Princess in any of the temples, even Celestia’s, he’d probably have to run faster than he’d ever had to before.
“Would we allow it?”
Firestorm clucked his tongue. “That, my dear, is an excellent question.”
**********
Feelgood hummed to himself as he continued taking in the machine’s readings. “All else seems good so far. There’s still an issue of unusually concentrated ambient magic, both around Mr. Thomas and his samples, but I doubt it’ll be a problem. Did you have any other questions?”
“Were there any indications of the recent tonal magic incident having any adverse effects?” Moonlight asked. That had been the crux of everypony’s concerns, after all.
Feelgood shook his head. “As far as our scans could tell, the magic just did its thing and left, barely leaving a trace. Like I said, there was the slight buildup in ambient magic, but you can probably just get rid of that with some extra strength shampoos.”
“Shampoo gets rid of magic?” Thomas asked.
“Standard hygiene,” Feelgood replied. “Unicorns get the stuff concentrated around their horns when they cast too much, but it’s not just the caster who can be affected. Even just being levitated can leave behind a faint trace. A little isn’t too bad, but let it build up too much and it could cause some interference. Most shampoos and soaps take care of this, scrubbing away the ambient crud without interfering with structured magic, but you might need to get the extra strong stuff, just in case.”
“Then I guess we’ll just do that,” Thomas conceded. He thought of bringing up the occasional pain in his wrists, but if the scans didn’t show anything then he didn’t see a need to bother.
When there were no more questions forthcoming, Feelgood flipped a few more switches and the machine sounded like it was sighing as it powered down. “All that’s left is to ask for a resupply of our samples. Their lifespan is inconveniently short and we’ve got plenty more tests to run.”
“Sure thing,” Thomas agreed. The double helix lights finally went out and he stood, running his hands over his body. Never hurt to check if everything was where it should be after visiting the doctor.
Moonlight, even more relieved than him, embraced her stallion and looked back at the doctor. “You’ll let us know if there’s any cause for alarm, right?”
Feelgood saluted. “You have my word.”
**********
“There. Happy?” Firestorm asked as they watched Thomas and the others move to the next room where samples would be taken. “Clean bill of health, as far as anypony can tell, with no apparent side effects from the tonal magic.”
“Maybe, but I still don’t like it,” Black admitted. “There’s still so much we don’t know about him.”
Firestorm nodded. “You’re wary. Good. It’s only natural to fear what we don’t understand. It’s that readiness to fight or flee that keeps us alive. However, be mindful of how this affects your behavior. Irrational fear could mean the loss of a valuable asset or the provocation of an enemy before we can prepare. Don’t want a bomb going off in Canterlot Castle. Think of the blow to property values.”
Black allowed herself a soft smile. “Ever vigilant,” she vowed and held up her tea in a toast.
“Ever vigilant,” Firestorm repeated, holding up his cup in return.
There was a knock at the door to Honey’s private suite in the castle. “Who is it?” the green mare called.
“Knock knock,” the irrepressibly bubbly voice of Surprise answered.
Honey rolled her eyes as she slid out of bed, letting the covers cascade off of her bare form. “Who’s there?”
“Surprise.”
Honey chuckled. “Surprise who?”
“Surprise you!” the naked white mare declared as she burst into the room, a wave of confetti and streamers flowing in her wake. She slid on her knees, arms outstretched in jubilance, until she came to a stop directly in front of Honey, eyes on level with the naked mare’s crotch.
At the sight of the pegasi’s incorrigible smile, Honey inevitably broke down into chuckles and offered the mare her hand. “Not bad, sugar. Not bad.”
“Aww. Thanks,” Surprise chirped as she looked around the room. The suite had the standard furniture of all the castle’s guest rooms, but was otherwise barren of any distinguishing features. Surprise folded her hands behind her back, shifting on her hooves as she innocently asked, “So, whatcha doin’?”
“Eh. Jus’ layin’ down for a little nap,” Honey informed as she waved Surprise in and closed the door behind her, paying little mind to how all the mare’s party debris was swept out of the room in an instant.
“Really?” Surprise asked. “We’ve got the night off. I thought you’d be visiting your herd.”
“Normally yeah,” Honey agreed. “But they’re pullin’ some pretty big shifts tonight at the local orchard. And not the kind that needs any buckin’ or liftin’, neither, else Ah’d ‘f volunteered ta help. Somethin’ ‘bout settlin’ supply routes. Instead they told me ta jus’ stay here ‘n’ get some shuteye.”
Surprise whined. “Aww. That’s no fun. I was hoping we could do something together.”
“Why? Bored out of your wits, too?” she asked plainly.
“Yes, but that’s beside the point,” Surprise replied evenly. “We’ve been working together for a while now and we almost never have time to just relax.”
“Seriously?” Honey deadpanned. “Our bosses got us relaxin’ almost every other night. If it weren’t fer the gym, Ah’d worry mah legs might fall off from lack o’ use. ”
“Yeah, but not with each other,” Surprise corrected. “The others are great, but if we’re going to be concubines together, then I think it’d be fun if we spent some time with each other too.”
Honey hummed thoughtfully. “Now that ya mention it, Ah guess ya have a point.”
“Yay!” Surprise bounced in cheer, causing her whole body to jiggle in all the best ways. “We should totally go out together.”
“What? Like a date?” Honey asked as Surprise’s contagious smile soon spread to her.
“Or just two friends hanging out,” Surprise offered. “You know, whatever we feel like. Oh! We should go shopping!”
“Hmm. Sounds nice. Let me get mah bits.” Honey fetched her purse before running up to the white mare. “Alright. Where’d ya want… to… What’re ya lookin’ at?”
Surprise’s eyes were fixed on Honey’s purse. The character on the bag was painted in an unusual art style, a young filly in a frilly pink dress swinging around a wand with a heart on the end. It was especially odd given that earth ponies almost never carried wands.
“Oh, this old thing?” Honey laughed nervously as she tried to not look like she was hiding the purse behind her back. “It’s, uh, jus’ somethin’ Jona bought fer me a while back. No big deal,” she insisted nervously as Surprise’s purple eyes bore down on her with silent accusation. “Uh… hey?”
“Oh wow! Isn’t that Fable Mable, the filly from that popular Neighponese comic?” Surprise asked.
Honey blinked several times, uncertain if she had heard right. “It’s actually called manga.”
“Whoops. Silly me.”
Honey blinked again. “You, uh, know about this stuff?” she asked hopefully.
“Not really. I’ll pick up an Equestrian comic from time to time, but I’m not much for the Nighponese stuff.”
Honey’s ears drooped slightly.
“It’s not really my thing, but I’ve heard a lot of great things from some friends of mine,” chirped the mare, hoping to lift her friend’s spirits. “Isn’t Fable supposed to be some sort of Princess Cadence fanfiction?”
“You take that back!” Honey stomped her hoof to the ground and flared her nostrils. “Fable Mable is inspired by Cadence,” she stressed, “but she’s her own filly who does her own thing! D.D. Sakura said so in the third volume after she got tired o’ ponies accusin’ her o’ plaj… o’ plagee… o’ stealin’.”
Surprise beamed, mentally congratulating herself on her accomplishment. Honey was no longer feeling down. “Yeah. I can see how that would get annoying real fast.”
“Tell me about it,” agreed Honey, exhaling her tension at not having to engage in this particular argument again.
Surprise beamed and opened the door, motioning for Honey to leave first. “So is it hard to read comics with your,” she leaned in and whispered, “dyslexia?”
Honey smiled at her friend’s consideration. “Sometimes. Jona don’t care fer magna either, but Ah can usually get Plow ta read them ta me.” The door closed behind her as she and Surprise continued their discussion, the latter eager to learn something new and the former grateful to have someone new to share her interests with.
**********
It was a night like any other in Canterlot. Despite the mares’ stated intent of indulging in the rampant consumerism that had come to define much of the economy, they had instead decided to just explore the city and see where the night took them.
“You said your family works on the northern fields,” Surprise remembered. “That where you’re living, too?”
“E’yup. Got us a nice little house near the orchards. It ain’t much, but it’s livable,” she explained nonchalantly as she took in the sights of the city.
“You ever see Canterlot in the day?” Surprise asked.
“Once. Folks dragged me along while they did some finaglin’ with a local buyer. Ah was real little then, so Ah don’t remember too much.”
“Saw it all the time from the clouds, but never had much reason to come in for a closer look.”
“Really? Ah’d always heard you flyers were all about freedom ta go anywhere ya liked.”
Surprise shrugged with a half-smile. “Yeah. That’s the ideal, but the truth is I never had much of a desire to go out exploring like that.”
“Seriously?” Honey deadpanned. “‘Cause if Ah had wings, the first thing Ah’d do would be ta take a bird’s eye tour of all Equestria.”
“And what would be the second thing?”
Honey had to think on that a second. “See what clouds taste like?”
“Bitter,” Surprise said as they shared a laugh. “But yeah. A lot of pegasi go through a ‘great and daring explorer’ phase when we’re little, but mine was a little shorter than most.”
Hearing the faint sadness in Surprise’s tone and seeing the way her ears drooped ever so slightly, Honey bumped hips with the large pegasus and gave her backside a playful brush with her tail. She used no words, but the smile she gave said more than enough.
“Well, it’s my wings.” Surprise craned her neck back to look over her shoulder and gave her wings a good flap. “I know they might look big, but they’re actually pretty small compared to my body.”
“Really? ‘Cause Ah’ve seen you flyin’ plenty.”
“No. You’ve seen me hover for short periods,” Surprise corrected gently. “I can do that for about an hour, less if I’m going for speed. Oh. B.R.B.” she said before dashing off to buy a colt an ice cream after his old scoop had just fallen. His mother coaxed a ‘thanks’ out of the little guy, warming Surprise’s heart to no end, before she jogged back to rejoin Honey. “Sorry about that.”
“You ain’t got nothin’ ta be sorry about,” Honey countered. “That was a might fine thing ta do.”
“Thanks,” beamed Surprise, her confidence in herself as a spreader of smiles restored. “Point is my wings just aren’t up to lifting a body like this,” she gestured down at herself, “for too long.”
“Oh,” Honey said, worried she’d stumbled onto a sensitive topic. “Sorry ta bring it up.”
“Why?” Surprise asked nonchalantly.
Honey frowned her confusion at the mare’s inconsistent change of tone.
“My wings are on the small side while my body’s on the big side. It is what it is,” Surprise said serenely. “I don’t mind that I’ll never be a racer or stunt flyer. My passion’s in making ponies happy,” she indicated her cutie mark and jerked her thumb in the direction of the colt with the ice cream, “so that’s what I do.”
“Wow,” Honey said with an impressed chuckle. “Don’t take this the wrong way or nothin’, but that’s surprisin’ly deep comin’ from ya’ll.”
“Aww. Thank you,” Surprise cooed before planting a soft, chaste kiss on the green mare’s cheek. “Same to you, buddy.”
Honey giggled from the contact. “Ah choose ta take that as a compliment.” Her ear flicked. “Jus’ give me a bit.” And once more the mare was off.
The next few hours were spent in relative calm as the pair moved from one tourist spot to another. They chatted about nothing in particular, their conversations regularly being interrupted by unspoken call for help across the city. This filly needed a balloon animal, that mare didn’t know the weird trick to this particular water fountain, a kiosk needed its wheel fixed, and that stallion sitting alone looked like he could really use some words of inspiration. Surprise wasn’t, well, surprised that many of the ponies they came across greeted her by name. This was hardly her first outing since coming to the city. However, she was taken aback when a good number of ponies also addressed Honey by name,
By the white mare’s reckoning, she was currently trailing behind with approximately 66 cases of helping ponies in need, although it was a narrow victory. She elected to keep this knowledge to herself and make up the score in secret at a later time. While she felt a little bad about keeping score and defeating the entire purpose of altruism, she reasoned that, if she allowed this to become an actual competition, she ran the risk of getting egg on her face. This would likely be literal as the result of some whacky hijinks as both mares ran around town in an effort to out-help the other with tasks of ever escalating danger and complexity, ending in some sort of calamity that would require a steep fine and a vow to go back to only helping for its own sake and not for some silly competition.
That could wait until after their induction into the harem. They’d both be financially secure enough to pay the aforementioned fine by then. Surprise nodded to herself. This was a good plan.
“Way Ah see it, Ah’m about four points ahead in good deeds fer the day,” bragged Honey with a waggle of her eyebrows, flagrantly challenging Surprise’s ego.
But, as they say, no plan ever survives first contact with the enemy.
Fortunately, both mares proved much more reserved and mature about their competition than Surprise had expected. It was a little disappointing that there were no whacky hijinks or elaborate escapades, but that was probably a fair trade off for the lack legal or medical fees. In the end, both mares were holding steady at a tie, at least for good deeds done this night, and decided to a few Hay Burgers for lunch. They sat in the back of the restaurant where they could speak and rest in relative privacy.
“Ah think the city’s prettier at night,” Honey stated idly.
“Think so?”
“Yeah. From what Ah remember, the sun shinin’ off the marble was fancy and all, but there wasn’t this… glow like there is since Princess Luna came back.”
“Agreed,” Surprise chirped. “I heard that it was only major metropolisisisis,” she slurred playfully, “like Manehatten that had much of a night life, but now it’s like every major and minor town is staying up late lately.”
“Why, though?” Honey asked. “Ah mean, Luna was all upset that so many ponies were shunin’ her night for Celestia’s day, right? Why couldn’t we just have had more cities do this at night?” She waved her hand around, indicating the lively lit city as a whole.
“I think it’s the lights,” Surprise answered. “My sire once told me that unicorn lamps used to be a lot trickier to make, so there weren’t as many and they were super expensive. For the common pony, that meant either you use a candle or nothing. Then this one pony, I forget his name, figured out a way to simplify the lighting spell by storing power in these specially constructed crystals. Now we’ve got lights all over the place.”
“Oh yeah. Ah think Ah remember Jona sayin’ somethin’ like that.”
“Like what?”
“Somethin’ like Luna comin’ back just gave the crown a chance to pass some laws ta make it look like they’re responsible for what everypony was doin’ anyway.” She snorted a giggle. “She’s real cynical like that.”
“Think it’s true though, that Celestia was just following the trends?”
“Might not have been her, though,” Honey corrected. “Keep in mind there’s lots of other ponies in charge of handlin’ the meat ‘n’ potatoes of actually makin’ the laws. The Princesses get final say, though.” At Surprise’s confused frown, Honey just shrugged. “Ah never paid too much mind ta that stuff.”
“Yeah. Let’s talk about something more fun.”
“Kay. Like what?”
Surprise tapped her chin in thought and took a bite of her burger. “Oh. How about some of our biggest sexual fantasies?”
Honey frowned. “Not sure what you’re talkin’ ‘bout, sugar.”
This question seemed to catch Surprise off guard as she considered how to phrase her response. “Well, is there anything you’ve always wanted to try with your herd, but haven’t?”
Honey just frowned more deeply, her brow furrowing as she thought. “Can’t rightly say there is. Ah say Ah’m in the mood for plot stuff ‘n’ Plow gives it ta me. If Jona wants ropes, then we bring in the ropes,” she explained matter-of-factly. “Plow’s really easy goin’, so he’s always up fer whatever. What else is there?”
“You’ve read some of Thomas and Moonlight’s book, haven’t you?” the white mare asked. “The one with all those fancy positions.”
“Oh!” Honey exclaimed, finally understanding. “You mean that kind o’ fantasy.”
“Yeah!” Surprise cheered. “So, got anything?”
Honey shrugged, not meeting the pegasi’s eyes. “Uh, Ah can’t rightly say there’s anythin’. Ah know what Ah like ‘n’ that’s what Ah do.”
Surprise pouted her disappointment.
“What? Somethin’ wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” Surprise assured. “You like what you like, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Ah’m sensin’ a ‘but’ comin’,” Honey deadpanned.
“But,” Surprise glanced suspiciously around the area and motioned for Honey to lean in to her whisper. “I’ve been talking with some of Celestia’s concubines about what to expect. They don’t go into much detail, but they say I’m going to need a really open mind for some stuff.”
“Ah don’t really get that,” Honey admitted evenly. “What’s so wrong with good ol’ fashioned ruttin’?”
“Well, the Princesses have been around for a really really really reeeeeealy long time, so they’re probably a little bored of doing the same thing over and over.”
Honey scoffed her dismissal. “Bored o’ ruttin’?” she asked with amused disbelief. “Sorry, sugar, but Ah just don’t see how that’s possible.”
Surprise frowned a moment before an idea came to her. She’d encountered ponies with this mindset before, mares and stallions who just wanted the same old thing every time. It had never bothered her before. If that’s what made them happy, then she was happy to oblige. However, based on what she’d been told, she knew that that mindset needed to end if Honey expected to make it with the harem. “Well, think of it like apple pie.”
“… kay.”
“Apple pie is super yummy and everypony loves it.”
“True.”
“But don’t you think it’d be a little boring just eating the same old apple pie day in and day out?”
Honey nodded thoughtfully.
“Like how you like plot stuff. Apple pie’s good, but sometimes you’re just in the mood for some super yummy sour apples.”
“Ah guess that makes sense,” Honey admitted. “An’ Ah’d be lyin’ if Ah said some of those things Moonlight read ta me that one time didn’t get me feelin’ all tingly.”
Surprise beamed her approval.
“Alright. So why don’t ya’ll tell me some o’ your fantasies and we’ll see where it goes.”
Surprise nodded excitedly. “I really like touching ponies with my wings.”
“What, like a massage?”
“No. That’s being touched,” Surprise corrected. She extended her wings and folded them inwards, almost wrapping them around herself. Flexing out her primaries, she carefully reached down and prodded at what remained of her burger. “I like doing this for ponies,” she explained. “Doesn’t matter the sex. They all like it when I start tickling them with these babies.”
Honey watched in fascination as the long feathers poked and stroked the burger, imagining her own nipples or marehood in place of the food. A smile crept onto her face as she imagined the faces Plow or Jona might make if their sexes were teased like that. “Now that’s somethin’.” She licked her lips.
Surprise giggled triumphantly at earning the desired reaction and folded her wings back into place. “Okay. Your turn.”
Honey hummed thoughtfully. “Well, Ah guess Ah’ve always been a might curious ‘bout all the fancy things unicorns can do with their magic.”
“Yeah. Always a fun one,” Surprise agreed. “And before you ask, yes. It’s true that they can touch you all over with their magic and feel what they’re doing, too.”
Honey giggled excitedly. “All over?” she asked in a whisper. “Like even,” she looked around leaned in close, “inside?”
Surprise nodded.
Honey’s excitement quickly tempered out. “Well, maybe Ah can try that a bit later,” she allowed hesitantly. “But you said you’ve been talkin’ ta some of Celestia’s concubines, right? What else did they say?”
Surprise idly flicked at a strand of her blonde mane. “Besides keeping an open mind, they didn’t go into much detail. They just said their alicorn got into some pretty funky moods sometimes and the whole harem’d have to be ready to go all out to make sure she’s satisfied.” Her eyes met Honey’s and the two shared an anxious look.
“Ain’t her harem more ‘n twice the size o’ Luna’s, even countin’ us?” Honey asked and Surprise nodded. “How’re we s’pposed ta handle that much alicorn all by ourselves? Ah mean, Ah’m willin’ ta do mah part,” she amended quickly. “But Ah don’t feel right ‘bout startin’ a job Ah can’t finish.”
“I remember talking to Moonlight about that,” Surprise answered. “She said that between the fact that Luna’s younger and still, I guess, kind of drained from recovering the whole Nightmare Moon,” she whispered, “thing, her libido isn’t going to compare to her sister’s for a while.”
Honey sighed in relief.
“I mean, just look at Cadence,” Surprise continued, wanting to further ease Honey’s reluctance. “I heard that she gets by with the occasional whorse and that Shining Armor’s her only regular, so it’s probably a lot more extreme than we’re thinking.”
“Well that’s nice ta hear,” Honey admitted.
“I’m glad you think so,” Surprise said. She reached across the table and set her hand over Honey’s. “I’m really looking forward to working with you.”
Honey’s green cheeks turned apple red and she averted her gaze. “Mah, what beautiful… weather we’ve got here.” She tried to gently retrieve her hand.
“Nuh uh,” Surprise said playfully, not willing to relinquish her captive just yet. “Not until you do something for me.”
Honey smiled at Surprise’s playful glint. “Ya holdin’ mah hand hostage?”
“Basically.”
Honey laughed. “What’re the terms?”
Surprise leaned forward a short ways, turned her head to the side, and tapped one finger against her cheek.
Honey blinked. “Seriously?”
Surprise nodded with an, “Mmh hmm. And make it a good one.”
Honey shrugged. The way she saw it, it was either giving in to the pegasi’s demands, or using the element of surprise to throw the mare. However, the former seemed like it was less likely to cause collateral damage, so she conceded. Leaning forward with unnecessary slowness, Honey popped her lips playfully. The closer she came, the slower she moved. As far as Honey was concerned, if Surprise was going to play dirty, then she almost had an obligation to do the same.
Surprise snickered, guessing what Honey was up to. She’d teach this mare’s cute apple-shaped flank better than to tease a teaser. When Honey’s lips were barely a centimeter away, Surprise snapped her head forward and pressed her lips into the other mare’s pucker.
Caught off guard, Honey froze in momentary shock. She blinked several times as she watched and felt Surprise smile against her muzzle. She then felt the pegasi’s mouth open as a tongue began prodding her chapped, earth pony lips. Unwilling to yield to such an untrustworthy intrusion, Honey narrowed her eyes and shot her own tongue out. The intruder was forced back as the two began fighting in enemy territory.
Surprise smiled all the wider at this turn of events and leaned deeper into the kiss. Honey tasted mostly like the hayburger she’d just eaten, which was a bit of a disappointment, but Surprise pressed on. Her slippery organ managed to evade her adversary trying to pin her. She then shot forward, only to be blocked. Despite the pegasus having the much more experienced and flexible tongue, there was no getting around the raw strength of an earth pony.
The two went at it for almost a minute, staring at each other the entire time. The kiss was more of a game than something intimate, which was just fine for both of them. A restaurant was too public for real fun, anyway. Eventually they parted, leaving a single strand of saliva between them. It popped with a faint snapping sound, startling a giggle out of both mares.
“You taste like hayburger,” Surprise teased.
“You taste like hayburger with onion,” Honey playfully shot back. “Ah should get onion next time.”
Sharing a laugh, the two finished up their meal. Honey had to make a quick pit stop, but soon the pair were back to just walking and talking.
“Oh!” Surprise squeaked. “We should get you a cloud bed.”
Honey raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you gotta be a pegasus ta not fall through those things?”
“Not if they’re enchanted.”
“Hmm. Sounds expensive.”
“I could let you borrow mine,” Surprise offered. “I’ve still got my old one in storage and I know this unicorn who can do the enchantment for cheap. You take it home to your herd, try it out, and see if you want one permanently.”
Honey grinned. “Might neighborly of ya, sugar.” She nodded and bumped her flank against Surprise’s. “Ah might jus’ take ya up on that offer.”
Surprise bumped back. “Any chance I might come along to, you know, inspect to make sure everything works out?”
Honey laughed and threw an arm around the pegasi’s shoulder, pulling her in close. “Have ta talk ta Jona ‘bout that one. She calls the shots ‘n our house.”
Seeing no reason to pull away, Surprise cozied up against Honey. They had to be a bit more careful as they walked, but the contact of one another’s bodies was quite welcome. Surprise was especially curious in how their breasts compared. “I think mine are actually a bit bigger than yours,” she noted idly.
“Think so?” Honey asked and looked down to compare. It was hard to tell while they were still walking along, but eventually the earth mare reached a conclusion. “Huh. Guess so.” The earth mare felt nothing as she inspected the mounds of chest fat. Her words were free of resentment or insecurity. Teats were an everyday sight in Equestria. However, an amused smile did grow across Honey’s face. “Never thought about it before, but ya’ll really are awful big fer a pegasus, ‘specially where it counts.”
Surprise sighed. “My body is both a blessing, and a curse,” she said solemnly. “And I have vowed to only use its powers for good.”
“Really?” Honey asked, incredulous of such a vow. “And how’s that workin’ out for ya?”
“Eh. Some days are easier than others.”
Honey shook her head as she tried futilely to hold back her chortles. “Yer really somethin’ else, filly. You know that, right?”
Surprise nuzzled under Honey’s chin. “I’ve had suspicions.”
The mares walked on in relative silence for a time. They stopped in a few stores, but didn’t buy anything. They were just shopping for the sake of it, and maybe also to have an excuse to playfully flirt and make goo-goo eyes at one another, all while darting off now and then to go help some poor soul in need.
“Hey look. Comics!”
“Huh,” said Honey as she regarded the quaint little shop. The front display was lined with figurines from various franchises familiar and not. Inside was dimly lit to keep the pictures from fading with about half a dozen isles visible; a fair sight larger than the comic stores she was used to. “Didn’t know they had stores like this ‘n big, fancy Canterlot.”
“Even unicorns have foals.”
Honey snapped around to face Surprise with a scowl. “Comics ‘n’ manga ain’t jus’ fer foals, ya know.”
“Sure they are,” Surprise countered, filing away Honey’s defensiveness for later. “They’re for the inner foal in all of us.”
Honey pursed her lips. “Ah guess that’s true,” she conceded.
“Since we agree, why don’t we get your inner foal in there and see if there’s anything new. She’s earned it.” Surprise started pushing on her friend’s back, giving her no time to protest.
Honey gave an exasperated sigh at Surprise’s pushiness, but couldn’t deny the scent of the freshly printed books was making her nostrils tingle. Perking up, she scanned the horizon until she found the Neighponese section, grabbed Surprise’s wrist, and yanked the mare along.
“Ah’m gonna show ya’ll the true beauty o’ Fable Mable!”
Surprise went along without a fuss, smiling as Honey imparted a brief history of the industry and insights into some of her favorite books. The pegasus nodded and listened intently, occasionally offering comments or questions to show she was paying attention. To do otherwise would be rude, especially with how excited Honey looked as she shared.
“You know, I know some places that could fix you up with your own Fable costume,” informed Surprise. “That way you can really look the part the next time you’re pretending to fight the evil Apathars.”
Honey’s eyes flicked nervously from side to side. “I, uh, don’t do that?” she squeaked.
Surprise grinned devilishly. “You’re a terrible liar,” she teased, making Honey’s ears droop.
“H-how’d ya know?”
“Was walking past your room the other night when I overheard. Nearly busted the door down, but you sounded like you were having way too much fun for being attacked.”
Honey’s cheeks turned crimson as she attempted to bury her face in a randomly selected book, not noticing that it was upside down.
“Besides, this is kinda what we were talking about earlier. I have it on good authority that a certain somepony really likes to play dress up,” sang Surprise.
Honey’s blush had climbed up her ears, making them hot and flicky. “Y-ya thinks so?”
“Hmm mmh,” affirmed Surprise as she held up volume 4 of Fable Mable. “Pretty sure you’ll have to fight Silver over who gets to wear the tutu, though.” She flipped the book around and tapped at the page where Fable had begun one of her infamously long transformation sequences. “But otherwise it should be fun for everypony.”
Without another word, Honey flung herself at Surprise, pulling the white mare into a tight, but not too tight, hug. Her lessons in control were paying off, even if she was a little on the heavy side. Regardless, Surprise endured it, returning the embrace with ample vigor.
“Yer the best, Surprise,” she whispered into her friend’s ear. “Ah’m so lucky Ah got ta know ya.”
“Yeah. You are,” Surprise agreed flippantly, only to nuzzle the other mare’s cheek. “But I’m lucky, too. I’ve never met another pony who likes helping others as much as I do. Giving to charity is nice and all, but there’s nothing quite like the personal touch.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
Surprise pulled away a bit and planted a kiss firmly on Honey’s lips. It wasn’t a romantic kiss, or a terribly passionate one. There was more energy in a standard chaste kiss, but not enough to warrant the actual parting of lips. It was somewhere in-between good friend and extra good friend, the sort of friend a mare could trust to help her out in heat. All things considered, when the mares parted and looked into each other’s eyes, they both agreed that this was a good place for them to be, at least for now.
“How do I look?” Thomas asked as he turned around in front of the mirror.
“You look as though you enjoy frequenting the gym,” teased Silver.
“Yeah. I do, don’t I.” The reflection looking back at Thomas was a sand colored stallion with a messy brown mane. ‘Moon Lover’, as he had so been dubbed, was on the short side, especially for an earth pony, but was still a fair bit taller than Thomas’ regular height. His physique, while far more muscular than his regular form, was still on the lean side compared to the tribe’s average. The glamour had been adjusted to more closely reflect his natural form while still appeasing social expectations. He was a little below average, but not so much as to draw unwanted attention, which was the heart of what glamour was meant for.
However, the same could not be said for Luna’s glamour. Her unicorn alter ego, by the name of Blue Sapphire, was a far cry from the norm. She was almost obscenely tall, a little under eye level with most earth ponies, and that was after several minutes of pleading from her harem to shave a couple feet from her alicorn stature. Her assets, however, remained perfectly proportioned.
The contrast was made especially apparent when Thomas caught Moonlight comparing. It was especially sad at just how little of a competition there was. On earth, Moonlight’s body would be the envy of most models with her D-cups, toned middle, and perfectly rounded ass. Luna, however, looked like she needed the mother of all back braces and, had she been wearing clothes, like she needed a super bra to keep both her breasts and ass from sagging. This left Silver, drop-dead gorgeous, but her perky C-cups were practically flat in comparison.
However, Thomas was already used to looking at his mares’ naked bodies, and went back to staring at his own. His glamour was wearing a simple set of shorts, which held a proportionately sized stallion package within. The bulge was big and left the human feeling a bit emasculated. The tail was the same shade of brown as his short mane and looked like it had recently gotten in a fight with a comb.
Thomas ran his hands up and down his frame. There was a slight tingle in his fingers as he felt lean muscle under pony fur, as well as the much squishier and smoother human skin. Given where they were going, the glamour had been modified so that anyone, or rather, anypony who happened to bump into him would feel a normal stallion and not get suspicious. The tingle was only present for those who knew what he really was, or at least suspected he wasn’t what he appeared to be. Thusly the resulting conflict of perceptions would be processed by the mind as the magical tingle.
All in all, it was a suitable disguise. Thomas straightened out the folds of his imaginary suit collar, picturing the disguise as a fancy suit he rarely had an occasion to wear. There was, however, one thing that bugged him.
“Wasn’t I a unicorn last time?” He waved his hand over where the horn would have been.
“You’d be expected to hold things with your magic if you had a horn,” Moonlight explained. As if to emphasize, she levitated a comb over to do some last minute touch ups while competing with Thomas for space in the mirror. “Not using magic runs the risk of creating suspicion, so it’s simply easier to have you be an earth pony.”
“Honestly, I wouldn’t mind seeing you as a bat pony some time,” Silver appraised. “I think you’d look rather dashing with wings.”
Thomas made no comment, but smiled at the mare as she and the others finished getting dressed. Apparently this was one of the few occasions where clothing was the expected norm; which really wasn’t that surprising, given the venue. And while Thomas took solace in the idea that the mass of sexily sculpted bodies that were expected to press into him would at least be clothed, he still had to do a double take on what exactly his ladies were wearing, imagining it as a microcosm of what was to come.
Silver’s t-shirt had a large hole in the back for her wings and a picture of Luna’s younger self giving a playful wink. She even styled her mane similarly and dyed it a light blue. Her short skirt also bore the insignia of Luna’s cutie mark and made her look a lot like a Japanese school girl.
Moonlight wore a white gown that fell down to her knees. Holes were cut in the hips to show off her cutie marks, but directly above was the insignia of a pair of curved swords crossed in an X stitched into the fabric. Beside the marks were a pair of dagger sheaths sewn into the gown’s material, each emblazoned with the sigil of Equestria’s flag. Her mane had been dyed orange and a special hair gel applied to ensure that it would maintain its shape and move of its own accord to keep her face half covered. Really, it was like Jessica Rabbit in a spy costume.
While Luna could have simply made adjustments to her glamour, Honey had been vehemently insistent that to do so would tarnish the integrity of this – by the way she described it – sacred event. As such the Princess of the Night had applied red paint in tiger stripes all along her body. The added effect of the grass skirt, feather in her shortened mane, and bo staff made her look like either an authentic tribal warrior, or an offensive stereotype. She even had a pair of fake bat wings fixed to her back with a bra-like apparatus that did nothing to actually cover her cleavage.
For Thomas, the most difficult part of his costume had been thinking up something original and then describing it to Luna’s private tailors. Jack Skellington had already been done while Daring Do or anything to do with the Power Ponies had just felt all kinds of generic. In the end, he’d settled on a pair of dark blue jeans with yellow foot wraps shaped like two toed feet. Thick brown gloves came up all the way to his elbows and the brown skull cap he wore had a pair of yellow, brown striped ears sticking out. To complete the ensemble was a metallic looking backpack with a face painted on, and a cartoonishly large wrench-like axe fixed to his hip. And finally, because he was a sucker for cute mares making puppy dog eyes at him, he’d consented to letting them paint brown stripes on his sides. Thank god for magically enhanced soap. He’d be putting it through the ringer, later.
“Feels like we just geared up for battle,” Thomas commented as he pointed the wrench at the mirror, trying to look as intimidating as possible. The weight was incredibly light and the material, while not plastic because of Equestria’s lack of oil, had a similar feel while remaining perfectly solid. “Looks like it, too.”
“My cuteness shall bring my foes to their knees,” proclaimed Silver as she struck her most adorable pose while raising her pitch to be girlishly squeaky.
Moonlight flipped her mane out of her face and gave a suave smirk. “Don’t blink,” she purred throatily while running her fingers over her fake daggers. “Not even for a second.” Her façade of cool fell as she descended into subdued giggles.
Luna slammed the bottom of her bo staff against the floor, drawing all attention to herself while she donned her most serious expression. “They may take our lives,” she grunted, “but they’ll never take… our socks!”
Thomas glanced down and back up. “Looks like someone already did.”
Luna also glanced down and noticed she was lacking in hoof ware. “What is your point?”
“We should probably hurry to meet up with Honey and Surprise,” Moonlight offered, barely containing her chortles. “Let this cavalcade of silliness run its course.”
And so they did. The group made their way down the hall to the castle’s main entrance. That was where they’d agreed to meet before taking a carriage. Along the way many of the guards and staff offered polite greetings to the harem while giving suspicious looks to the unicorn in the grass skirt. They probably knew, but felt it would be impolite to say as much.
They arrived at where the carriage was to pick them all up, only to find Surprise and a very impatient Honey tapping her hoof.
“Where have you been?” the earth mare demanded. “We’re going to miss our place in line!”
“Aren’t our spots reserved?” Thomas asked.
Luna nodded. “They should be.”
“See. Told ya so!” bragged Surprise. “You really need to relax.”
“Never mind that. Let’s just get in!” Honey’s costume was a straight up magical girl complete with a ridiculously frilly skirt, leather gloves, and a top that seemed to expose way more cleavage than what should be appropriate for what Thomas understood to be a preteen character. The theme of her outfit was a pink that almost seemed to glow with a neon intensity. A royal looking wand with a heart at the end swung from her hands as she gestured impatiently for the others to get in the carriage.
Surprise just shrugged and gestured with her eyes for the others to do as the silly earth pony said. Her costume was a large blue ball that completely consumed her body from the bottom of her neck to her lower thighs. Her wings were completely enclosed within the sphere and, aside from her cutie marks painted approximately where they were relative to her body, the ball was covered in many bands of blue, white, and gray that looked dyed rather than painted. Her arms poked out through holes at the top and rested upon the girth of the sphere while a diagonal ring was held in place by metal rods about a foot away from the sphere.
“Guess what I am!” she chirped excitedly.
Recognizing the image from pictures in science books, Thomas could not help himself. “Full of gas, surrounded by debris, and frequently watched by weirdos with telescopes,” he listed as flatly as possible. It was a struggle to keep the corners of his mouth from twitching, especially with the others snorting laughs into their covering hands.
“No, silly,” Surprise laughed. “I’m Neptune, the planet named after the mythical god of the sea.”
An eerie silence descended upon the group, followed by a literal rolling tumbleweed.
Surprise eventually lost it and burst out laughing. “Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!” She wiped a few tears from her eyes. “Oh, the looks on your faces.” She giggle-snorted while trying to clench her sides through the sphere. “No. I’m actually Uranus, the planet named after the ancient god of the skies.”
Luna and her harem let out their sighs of relief all at once. Surprise had given them a real scare for a minute there.
Honey cleared her throat.
“But seriously, we should probably go,” Surprise urged and the party, now fully assembled, filed within the bus sized carriage.
Honey had calmed down significantly now that they were finally on their way, which gave way to more casual conversation as everyone described their costumes.
“Silent Knife,” bragged Moonlight, once more making her voice as deep and sensual as she could. She ran her hands sensually down her body and over her dagger sheaths. “I was really into spy novels when I was young and Scarlet Fatale was my favorite series. I just loved how suave and confident she was, especially with how she always stayed two steps ahead of her opponents.”
“To be honest, as much as I love this story,” Silver began while pulling at her shirt, “I’m still wondering how this is even a thing.”
Luna shrugged. “Sister ‘Tia convinced me that such a depiction in something the ponies view on a regular basis would help ingratiate me to the masses. Representatives from the crowns work with the company to ensure that the character, while under the control of the writers, remains tasteful.”
“That’s from that comic strip, right?” Thomas asked. To him, this seemed like straight up propaganda, but the others didn’t seem as bothered by Luna’s admission as he’d imagined. For that matter, even he strangely felt less bothered than he believed he should. Maybe this was just part of his acclimation to Equestrian society? “The one where all the historical figures are in high school together?” He’d seen Silver reading the strip in the paper many times at breakfast.
Silver nodded eagerly. “She’s called Little Moon, but she’s an obvious stand in for Luna, especially since they shamelessly lifted her image from her immediate return, which was for the best in my opinion. I just can’t help but go to pieces every time she enters a scene. Everything about her is just so sweet and cute.” She then fixed a serious look on Luna. “You will be dressing like her in our next session.”
Luna swallowed and grinned with nervous-citement. “Yes, mistress.”
“Uranus was my favorite of the old gods,” Surprise explained. “Pegasi were especially fond of him because he was said to have taught our ancestors how to tap into our latent magic for things other than just flying. I always liked him because, despite being an accomplished warrior, he was supposed to have had a great sense of humor.”
“So why the planet and not the stallion?” Moonlight asked.
“Firstly,” Surprise pointed at Thomas, “everything he said.”
There were nods of acceptance all around.
“Secondly…” she trailed off before tapping at a spot on the front of the sphere. A square door opened and revealed a sizable compartment within. “Honey said to be ready for swag, and this is how Surprise gets ready. Now we can buy as much stuff as we want and still keep our hands free,” she said while giving her costume’s shell a few good slaps.
“A mobile carrier. Nice,” commented Thomas as he peered inside the hole.
Moonlight did the same, but frowned. “How do you use the bathroom in that?”
Surprise leaned over to the side, nearly rolling over and squishing Silver. “Second door down in the back.” She tapped the shell again, although nothing opened this time. “Don’t worry. I made sure to test it out.”
“Gross,” Honey said flatly. She then grew eager at the realization that it was her turn. “Anyway, mah costume is fer Fable Mable. She’s, uh…” she trailed off, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
“She’s awesome!” Surprise declared. “It’s this really awesome story from Neighpan. It’s set in this sort of post-apocalyptic world where these big meanies called apathars are roaming the land and stealing away everypony’s good feelings. Fable Mable was just an ordinary filly until spirits from beyond the stars were moved by how much love she had to share. They tasked her with restoring harmony and love with the help of her magic wand.”
Honey beamed happily at not only Surprise’s knowledge, but the enthusiasm with which she shared it.
Sounds like every generic magical girl story ever, Thomas thought, but kept to himself. “If we happen to meet anyone dressed like the bad guys, I’m pretty sure you’re legally obligated to battle them.”
“Truly?” Luna asked. “This is an actual rule?”
Her naivety was too cute for the others to ignore.
“Oh yeah. Ah’ve seen it happen plenty o’ times,” Honey affirmed. “Ponies from the same stories always end up meetin’ ‘n’ doin’ scenes together.”
“Scenes?” Silver asked, now especially intrigued. “Does that mean Moonlight is obligated to start making out with anypony dressed as Golden Eye, Silent Knife’s old fling and rival?”
Moonlight suddenly tensed. Like Luna, she had also never been to a con before, and so was trusting in her friends to guide her straight. She then recalled who she was with and felt a sense of impending doom.
“Only if they’s cute,” Honey assured. “That’s also the rule. Otherwise they just gotta duke it out for a bit.”
Moonlight exhaled her relief.
“But it will mean you’ll have to have a big climactic battle in front of an audience, so long as there’s room,” Surprise amended. “If you’re not up for that, just stick to the booths where all the swag is sold and no pony should demand anything too extreme. It’s considered impolite to cause a ruckus where ponies are trying to do business.”
“What about you, Luna? Expecting to get into any final confrontations in that get up?” Thomas asked. “I’m still not sure who you are.”
“She’s a pre-Equestrian bat pony chief,” Silver informed. “You can tell by the number of stripes that she’s an accomplished warrior.”
“I am glad that the old histories are not entirely forgotten,” Luna said, making Silver blush. “But do you know which chief?”
Silver gave Luna a long, critical look. “I’m sorry, but I cannot place the grass skirt. It would have been easier if you included the cutie mark.”
Luna sighed, but nodded her understanding. “Evening Tide was the first First Star of the Dream Walkers.”
Silver’s eyes widened. “That Evening Tide?” she asked, once more looking up and down Luna’s costume. “She wore… that?”
Luna nodded. “Quite the eccentric, that one.”
“Dream Walker? Why does that sound so familiar?” Thomas asked.
“I am impressed that you remember,” admitted Luna. “Do you not have trouble recalling somepony after only a single meeting?”
“Hold on.” Thomas held up his hand as the memory started to come back. “That gray unicorn with the bright red mane.”
Luna nodded, pleased at his recollection. “Charming Star, First Star – the current commander – of the Dream Walkers.”
Thomas frowned. “Yeah. It’s kinda weird that I remember her. It was right after I was,” he chuckled, “formally inducted as Senior Concubine. She showed up, shook my hand, wished me luck, and that was pretty much the highlight of our interactions. After that, I remember her showing up for private meetings at your office from time to time. Sometimes we’d nod at each other, but never say anything. Mostly she’d just ask for a sound concealment spell and then ya’ll would talk about whatever while I just read in the corner. Other than that, I pretty much never saw her.”
“Hardly a surprise,” commented Silver. “Dream Walkers tend to be quite private and are rarely seen unless they wish to be.”
Thomas’ brow furrowed. “I think you told me about them once,” he said to Luna. “Care to refresh my memory?”
“It would be my pleasure,” Luna offered happily.
“Before we go on,” Surprise interrupted, “I just want you all to know how much I’m holding back with you using my name so much.”
“Your restraint is noted and appreciated,” offered Luna diplomatically. “Thank you.”
Surprise beamed happily. “That’s all I ask.”
Luna nodded and straightened out her grass skirt. “In the early days of Equestria, when my sister and I had only recently taken power, there were numerous orders and guilds under our direct command. These orders comprised of specialists who went out into the untamed wilds and dealt with all manner of unnatural and supernatural threats, while the then fragile military stayed close to the cities. Time passed and the military grew strong enough to absorb many of these ancient orders and take up their duties. Many more earned the right to be self-governing, although oaths of fealty to the crowns remain part of their formal vows.
“One order in particular remained ever loyal and dutiful in its service. With prosperity came an explosion of population that I, alas, was unable to properly attend to. Nightmares were growing rampant as monsters, after being snuffed out of even the darkest shadows, sought refuge in the dreams of our little ponies.” Luna paused to take a good, long, adoring look at her fellow passengers in the carriage. She saw in their expressions the faces of their ancestors she’d protected so long ago. “I may have been brash and prideful, especially in my youth, but it was as plain as ‘Tia’s love of sweets that I needed help.” She paused to allow the snickers to subside.
“While consisting primarily of bat ponies, the first Dream Walkers were established first and foremost to hunt down the monsters known to target dreams. However, Chief Evening Tide, who would later become known as the First Star, counseled me to delegate mine own dream walking duties to others. With the aid of special runes and potions, which I had crafted myself,” Luna said in the most humble and least boastful manner that anyone had ever used ever, “anypony from any tribe was capable of entering the dream realm. After which, I bequeathed onto them a portion of mine own power, Luna’s Blessing they call it, which enabled them to match mine own speed in sifting out the nightmares and bringing them to a swift and just end.”
After a moment of silence, Moonlight decided it was safe to speak up. “I think I met Charming Star as well. I didn’t know her name at the time, but a gray unicorn with a red mane was looking over all the recruits looking to join Luna’s House Guard. A lot of ponies were turned away on her word alone. I was quaking in my armor when she stopped in front of me and gave me this… look.” She paused, breathing deeply as she recalled the mare’s piercing gaze. “It was like she was looking into my very soul, judging me.” She shivered. “Thankfully, she passed me over before I could do anything embarrassing. Then she told the next three recruits in line to clean out their lockers before she had their contents burned. Didn’t even say why.”
Luna laughed. “Such has been the custom that the First Star must be a mare of, shall we say, an exceptional disposition.”
“Luna,” Silver spoke up. “If this next part is-”
Luna quickly cut Silver off. “Your concern is appreciated, but unnecessary,” she said with a firm gentleness befitting one of her authority. “I am no longer a foal who needs her hand held, and would greatly appreciate not being treated as such.”
Silver, ears splayed in submission, nodded and tried to pull back. But Luna did not let her, grabbing the little bat by the hand and pulling her into an aggressive cheek rub. It didn’t take long for Silver to reciprocate.
Thomas watched in silence at the show of pony body language. It was hard to argue with the strength of gestures and shows of physical affection compared to words.
In particular, Honey and Surprise were watching with reverent awe. Something about Luna’s brief outburst had caught their attention in a way neither fully understood, but it made both their hearts ache.
Luna let Silver go before continuing. “When my… resentment had begun leaving me open to corruption, the Dream Walkers did everything they could to do for my own dreams what they had done for so many others, but the power of my blessing was no match for the real thing. When I turned and demanded that they join me, the First Star of the time righteously proclaimed that her loyalty was to the Princess of the Night, not a monster in pony flesh,” she said ruefully. “The Dream Walkers declared for my sister and did what they could to minimize the damage I caused. Upon my banishment, the order had all but abandoned their hunting of monsters in the physical world to better devote themselves to keeping the machinations of Nightmare Moon at bay, that the dreams of Equestria would remain ever peaceful.” Luna paused and breathed deeply. “Just as their true Princess had taught them to.” She sounded almost proud.
The carriage was silent for a long while. What could possibly be said after all of that? Even Surprise squirmed and made little whining sounds at not being able to think of anything to lighten the mood. It was Thomas who took the lead, following Luna’s earlier example of a physical gesture, and snuggled up beside the large mare. The others followed suit and the dower seriousness upon Luna’s face soon melted to one of warm acceptance.
The Princess of the Night took notice of how Surprise and Honey were squeezing her especially tight. Their faces were buried against her fur, but she still felt their expressions. There were a lot of emotions playing out inside them. And as much as Luna wished to offer her wisdom here and now, she knew she had to wait. A moment had just transpired and the two mares would need a bit of time to sort themselves out before she could explain the rest. As such, Luna decided to finish the story on a happy note.
“And upon my return, the First Star immediately summoned forth the lieutenants of the order from every corner of Equestria to the capitol, where upon they reaffirmed their oaths of fealty to their long lost Princess.” She sighed fondly at the memory. “Afterwards, Charming Star confided in me her hopes that a lessoned workload would not accompany budget cuts,” she finished, surprising laughs out of everyone.
“Now that I think about it, with the harem reestablished, does that not make us the final two orders who pledge our loyalty expressly to you?” Silver asked. “Why have they not reached out?”
Thomas felt a knot in his stomach, fearful that he might be responsible.
Luna gave a forlorn sigh. “Times have changed. The First Star believes the orders no longer have anything in common, or any overlapping goals except devotion to my service. And with all else that has been happening of late, not even my meddlesome sister has found the time to browbeat Charming into making friends, as she often does with so many others.”
“That’s too bad,” mourned Silver.
“We should pay her a visit some time,” chirped Surprise. Right now, she really felt the need to show somepony a kindness. “I bet she’d appreciate some Surprise cupcakes!”
“Ah’ll help,” offered Honey. Baking cupcakes to make somepony feel better just sounded like a great thing to do at the moment.
“That she might,” agreed Luna. “I shall inform her of your desire.” The mare closed her eyes, but retained her perfect posture as she sat. While they had all seen this many times before, the applicants were still in awe of Luna’s periodic departures to the dream realm.
Surprise hummed thoughtfully. “Dream time must really make for some tough hours. A minute in the real world is, like, half an hour in the dream realm, right? I don’t know the conversion ratio.”
“Canvas-what?” Honey asked.
“She means the exact time difference between the worlds,” Silver explained. “A dream might feel like it’s happening over a course of hours, but that is just the brain processing without the hindrance of outside stimuli.” She hesitated at noting Honey’s lingering confusion. “Outside observations,” she corrected and the earth mare nodded. “But Surprise is right. If a group the size of a military regiment spent less than a minute poking in and checking each individual dream, it would still take at least a week’s time to sort through the entire population of Equestria.”
“And yet she makes it look so easy,” Thomas said as he looked up at Luna in admiration.
“Ah wonder what she does if she catches ponies dreamin’ ‘bout her,” wondered Honey. “Ah’ll bet she spends more than jus’ a minute watchin’. Ah know Ah would.” Her lips curled into a lascivious grin.
Honey’s meaning was obvious and Thomas turned his head to scan the carriage’s other passengers. Their expressions were varying degrees of awe, contentment, or growing impatience. No signs of any negativity at the implications of Luna engaging in trysts with her sleeping subjects. Looking inside himself, Thomas found that he didn’t especially mind either. To call Luna promiscuous would be a massive understatement, but he trusted her. He knew where her heart lay and that she gave nothing of herself to anyone else outside the harem. The tolerance of casual sex and herds still left him stubbed on an intellectual level, but emotionally speaking, Thomas felt he was finally getting it.
Either that or spending all this time in this place and being saturated by the ponies’ culture had corrupted him into a massive pervert. Whichever was the more convenient.
Soon Luna’s eyes opened and she greeted the others with a warm smile. She did not say how long she’d been gone, but she did pass on Charming Star’s demand – she was very clear about that – for whatever baked goods presented to have cinnamon. Surprise saluted, once more showing the power in wordless gestures.
“Thomas. I do believe it is time that the others learn of your character,” Luna suggested. Of course she already knew. She, Silver, and Moonlight had certainly played it enough on the console in his dreams. However, Honey and Surprise were still in need of a briefing.
“Ratchet, from Ratchet and Clank.” He held up his signature wrench as he spoke. “He was one of my favorite games when I was little. My parents and I would take it in turns to play, though I would usually annoy them with my backseat gaming.”
Thomas did indeed keep the mares entertained with stories of his character and the friendship forged in the first game. He had a lot of fun explaining the sheer ridiculousness of the myriad of weapons and he felt rather smart in cluing them in on the themes of corporatism that were really only featured in the first installment of the franchise. This analysis encouraged the others to go into further detail about their characters as well, and it was a lot of fun when they started really acting out the part.
Finally the group arrived at the stadium where the convention was being held. As they disembarked from the carriage, Thomas couldn’t help but notice that several burly looking ponies were also dismounting from carriages both behind and in front of them. They were all dressed in costumes, but still seemed rather suspicious the way they kept looking around and touching their ears.
“Undercover guards,” Moonlight whispered. “Several are already inside, you know, just to be safe.”
Thomas nodded and accepted this. It was one thing to know there were always guards around, following him and Luna wherever they went, but actually seeing them like this still threw him for a loop sometimes. He decided to shrug it off as a thing beyond his control and focus on what he could control; namely his own behavior.
The group arrived at their reserved spot in line less than a minute after the con’s evening festivities were officially declared open. Even so, it took another few minutes before they were able to make it inside. Honey didn’t say anything about how, if Luna had heeded her advice and purchased tickets earlier, they wouldn’t have had to wait even this long, but the look she gave showed that she was thinking it.
This waiting, however, gave time for Thomas to take in the sights of their fellow con goers, which was a spectacle in and of itself. The sheer variety was, as far as the human was concerned, fairly standard given the size of the venue. There were the standard book characters, the largest percentage of which seemed to be Daring Do, as well as figures from titles he had seen but never read. A lot seemed to be knock-offs of franchises from the human world, such as a ponified Iron Man squaring off with Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter, plenty of cowboys, a couple 60’s style robots, plenty of dudes in dresses, lots of foals with parents in what Thomas assumed to be coordinated costumes, a green chocobo, and even some zombies that were all grouped together. At first Thomas tried counting off the costumes that looked like franchises from Earth, but he lost count at around 123, when the lines started moving and morphed into a sheer mass.
Their first stop upon entering Ink Con, so named for supposedly being more marketable, was to grab a brochure that included a map as well as the times for events. Silver volunteered to carry it, but not before Luna made note of all the bathrooms in the stadium. No one needed to ask why. Afterwards they made straight for the display booths where the swag was waiting to be sold.
Honey took the lead as the most knowledgeable of convention layout and etiquette. She looked quite pleased with herself as she pointed out and described the many exotic displays, as did the rest of the group whenever they saw something they recognized. It had quickly become a shouting match to see who could recognize what the fastest. Much to the shock of all, the one giving Honey a run for her money wasn’t Surprise, but Silver. Apparently the little bat also indulged in the geek-o-sphere from time to time.
Along the way the groups costumes received a lot of attention. Mostly they were compliments mixed in with a few polite critiques. However, every now and then there was that one cosplayer who seemed especially full of themselves and saw fit to bash any costume that looked too good. Any costume that someone didn’t make themselves shouldn’t be welcome, at least as far as these pricks were concerned. Thankfully they were few and far between.
However, there was that one guy…
“What’re you even supposed to be?” asked a stallion dressed as Cabelleron. He was sneering as he gestured at Thomas.
The disguised human shrugged. “I’m Ratchet, last of the lombaxes and savior of at least two galaxies.”
“You can’t do that,” Cabelleron groused. “No original characters. What? Are you trying to drum up advertising for a new book or something? Pathetic. You’re ruining everypony else’s fun with stuff like that.”
Moonlight hissed as she positioned herself between her stallion and the spoil sport. Her anger, however, shifted when she finally processed exactly what the guy had said. “Shoot! We should have done that!”
Cabelleron shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. You’re not allowed to sell merch without permission from the con ponies.”
“There doesn’t appear to be any such rule in the itinerary,” Silver pointed out. “Besides, we are not selling anything.”
“Oh yeah? Then what’s that costume for?”
“So I’m not one of fifty other guys?” Thomas offered while gesturing to another Cabelleron who happened to be a mare. “Why do you even care?”
“Because this convention is a place where ponies, like myself, who truly love and respect the beauty of the worlds printed in ink, can congregate to share in that respect,” he declared with such a high and mighty tone that even Blueblood at his worst would tell the guy to stop hamming it up. “And right now, you are proving just how little respect you have for this place and its ponies by dressing like… hey! Where are you going?” he whined as the group made their departure.
“Anywhere yer not, dumbass,” shouted Honey as she walked beside Moonlight, positioning herself between Thomas and the nuisance.
“But I’m not done!” whined Cabelleron.
Moonlight flipped her mane and gave a half-lidded glare over her shoulder at the stammering stallion. Once more she adopted her Silent Knife voice. “I find myself needing to be elsewhere. Your company has left me terribly dry.” She then turned around, walked a few steps with the others, and gave a soft squeal that only her friends could hear. “I’ve always wanted to say that.”
The others gave their congratulations to the orange mare, once they were safely out of sight of the spoil sport, and resumed their exploration of the con. Little did they know, the costume supremacist was pulled aside so that some very polite and tough looking ponies could impart the wisdom of common decency upon him.
“Silent!” shouted an angry stallion in a black tuxedo. He carried a short sword on his side and his left eye was covered with a golden eyepatch. Sheets of white paper depicting a golden eyeball were taped to both hips, just above his actual cutie mark of a wood plank with a crooked nail sticking out. “My old nemesis!”
Upon noticing the stallion and recognizing his costume, Moonlight immediately smirked and flipped her mane back, only for it to fall right back into place. “Well hello, Goldie,” she purred.
“You know this stallion?” Luna whispered.
“It’s been too long,” the stallion said, straightening out his shirt collar. “I haven’t seen you since Trottingham. Still got that present you left me.” He ran his finger along his inner thigh, over a scar drawn with black marker.
“Aww, poor baby,” Moonlight mocked in condescension. “It was only a love tap.”
“You rigged the embassy to explode,” growled the stallion.
Thomas presumed this guy to be Golden Eye. For evidence he noted the way many of the con goers had all backed away from the pair, forming a distinct ring in anticipation of the fight. Given that this guy didn’t seem all that cute, at least according to Thomas’ limited understanding of male attractiveness, it seemed as though Honey’s prediction of a fight was coming to pass.
Moonlight scoffed.
The ‘fight’ started off rather awkwardly as Moonlight had clearly never done this sort of thing before. She knew how to spar with a trained opponent, but she hadn’t done play fighting like this in years. As such, she relied on ‘Golden Eye’ to whisper directions to her. Over time the mare’s movements began to smooth out as she got into the swing of things, much to the audience’s delight. Besides having fun just being silly, the purpose of these fights was primarily for the entertainment of onlookers. In the end, ‘Golden Eye’ declared the match a draw before making his dramatic exit, all while the audience applauded and Moonlight held up one of her daggers in a show of victory.
When legs were starting to hurt, and after paying a visit to the bathroom, the group decided to partake of the overpriced concession stands and go over their loot. As Thomas enjoyed his hamburger, made from actual beef to cater to the meat eaters in the crowd, he took stock of how his friends were doing. Honey was talking a mile a minute, gushing about how this con put every other she’d ever visited to shame. Evidently her own herd had never been enthusiastic about cons, so it was nice to share the experience with new friends. Silver took a bit of sport in poking fun at the various franchises on display, using conversations she’d eavesdropped on to deliberately misinterpreting certain themes or plot lines to wind Honey up. Surprise found this trolling absolutely hysterical and, more than once, squirted juice out of her nose. Moonlight spoke up from time to time, mostly whenever the conversation moved to the subject of story structure and popular tropes. Luna, whenever she could get a word in, sought more serious discussion on some of the franchises she’d just recently learned about. Mostly, however, the Princess of the Night was too preoccupied with going through the exceptional amount of swag she’d acquired.
Thomas spoke little, mostly in pointing out what, to him, seemed like overused clichés that were actually new and fashionable here in Equestria. Truth be told, while he kept his glamour ears perked forward, he had never much cared for cons. He’d tried a few and was disappointed with his own opinion that they were little better than overpriced malls with oversized toy sections. Cons simply weren’t his thing, but he kept that knowledge to himself. After all, as much as he would rather be lounging back at the castle, the happiness on his friends’ faces was not something he cared to jeopardize.
“No. Uh uh. No way,” Honey said and folded her arms over her chest. “Ain’t possible.”
“Except that this is the world of fiction, where literally anything is possible,” Silver countered.
“Still ain’t happenin’.”
“Now you’re just being stubborn. What’s so unbelievable about the Silver Streaker being a villain?”
“Uh, I don’t know. How about nearly a hundred different books showin’ him savin’ the day and knockin’ bad guy heads in?” Honey asked sarcastically.
Silver pursed her lips and took a breath. “He was eliminating the competition.”
“Oh, here we go!” Honey threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. “Ya’ll didn’t even know the guy existed yesterday. What gives you the right ta go ruinin’ his good name by callin’ him a villain?”
“Because you and how upset you are,” Thomas said plainly, surprising both mares. “It’s a marketing trick. If the status quo goes on for too long, sales tend to drop. So the company does something really big to shake things up and draw readers back in. Characters dying, switching sides, or even getting married are all popular tricks of the trade.”
“Indeed. Besides, Silver’s logic is sound,” Luna added as she flipped through the latest Silver Streaker comic until she found the desired page. “Look here. The item he’s picking up is clearly a communication crystal.”
Honey frowned as she examined the page. “So? It’s a crime scene. He’s gettin’ evidence.”
“That he does not immediately share with his compatriots?” Luna asked accusingly. “Had he done such a thing as a member of the Dream Walkers, or even the Dawn Breakers, he would be lucky to get off with no less than fifty lashes for his transgression!”
“Ow. Harsh,” Surprise said with a wince.
“I think I heard somepony say that the Justice Society is actually modeled after the Dawn Breakers, so he’d probably face the same punishment,” Moonlight said before glancing at Thomas. “Another order from the old days. Technically they’re contracted to the military, but they still take their orders directly from the crowns.”
“So basically Equestria’s always had super heroes?” Thomas asked.
“If what I am reading is any indicator, then yes,” agreed Luna as she went back to reading the comic. “The missions and group dynamics are quite reminiscent of the guilds of yesteryear. It was even common for those who dealt with the criminal element to wear masks and lurk in the shadows while many monster hunters tended to operate as more of a spectacle.” She then snapped a firm look back at Honey. “Which is precisely why the Streaker’s actions are unacceptable.”
“Ah’m tellin’ ya, Streaker ain’t a bad guy,” Honey said resolutely. “Ah’m sure he had a good reason ta take that crystal without tellin’ his buds.”
“Blackmail, mind control, imposter,” Thomas listed off. “Could even be a double from a parallel universe. That always throws everyone for a loop.”
Honey blinked and donned a thoughtful expression. “Ah guess he has been actin’ a little funny in recent issues. Keeps makin’ some purty sloppy mistakes.”
Silver gave a disappointed half grin. “That might make sense, but I still hope he’s actually turning traitor. That would make for better drama.”
“But wouldn’t that risk angering the audience too much?” asked Moonlight. “Building tension to draw in new readers is one thing, but I heard a lot of ponies stopped reading Daring Do because they thought the stunts she pulled in the later books were too unbelievable.”
The unintended reference to the season six episode got Thomas thinking. Daring Do was a real life secret agent who fought a real life villain. And if Equestria had always had super heroes, it made sense that the sort of monsters and villains depicted in comics would be similar to things that existed in real life. Thomas looked at Luna and she returned it with a nod.
“‘Twould not surprise me if the writers of these many books were in contact with real life counterparts of these characters. I can see a mutually beneficial business of the writers buying up and publishing stories while the heroes take in much needed supplements to their funds. Patronage from the nobility and stipends from the crowns can only go so far in keeping equipment maintained and secret lairs hidden.”
Thomas blinked. He hadn’t expected such a blatant admission, especially not in such a public venue.
“Don’t everypony know that already?” Honey asked. “Books like Fable Mable might be works o’ fiction, but Daring Do’s a real mare who goes on real life adventures.”
Silver chuckled. “I heard Dr. Cabelleron just filed another lawsuit at Yearling for defamation of character,” she said with air quotes. “As if that’ll stop the mare from recounting Daring’s exploits.”
Surprise pouted her lip in thought. “So if the Justice Society’s based on the Dawn Breakers, or some other group, would that mean there’s a real life Streaker doing something like this right now, or are the book writers just making stuff up for fun?”
Moonlight gave a thoughtful shrug. “If it’s real, the problem’s probably been resolved already and we’re just waiting on the artists to paint the pages. If it’s fiction, I’d wager Streaker is a character the writers made up themselves, that way they wouldn’t be defaming a real life service pony.”
Thomas chuckled as the others continued trading theories and rumors. Apparently this was yet another difference between the show and this world. Here, Daring Do being real was more of an open secret. The alter ego was probably a ploy to throw off fans so they wouldn’t interfere with the work the stories were based on. And then there were characters like Fable Mable and Little Moon, as he had learned, who were inspired from real life figures; in much the same way as South Park took inspiration from real life.
The admission that many fictional stories were just dramatizations of real life events left Thomas all the more confused about the nature of fiction. Some stories were real, others were mostly real, but how many were just random ideas someone thought would be cool to share? For that matter, if ponies were so accepting of a world where there were real life super heroes who fought villains and monsters, did that mean they’d also accept the story of his origin?
Something to think about later. After all, Thomas had never been the sort to needlessly rock the boat.
After lunch and another pit stop, which left Silver with a slight ache in her wing, the group continued their journey through the con. There were autograph booths, panels held by many writers, and the increasing absurdity of the cosplayers just having fun with one another. As predicted, Moonlight did indeed encounter a pony dressed as Golden Eye. They play-fought a little, but the more entertaining sight was watching Silver and Honey trying to hold Luna back; she’d initially mistook the acting for real conflict at first, calming only after the characters started shouting random one-liners at each other. They stopped by one of the writers’ panels where the mares and stallions talked about their motivation and inspiration to write and draw the stories in their books. To Thomas’ surprise, no one in the audience asked if the stories were real or not. He figured they either already knew, or were too dense to care.
Then, just as things seemed to be winding down for Ink Con’s evening run, Thomas spied a comic with a suspiciously familiar looking cover. The booth displaying it was one of the smaller ones, meaning it was likely new and didn’t have as much of a fan base yet. Upon the cover were six stallions, two from each tribe, with color pallets that were slightly jarring to look at, and a dragoness who looked to be in her mid-teens.
“This is meant to be sex swapped versions of Twilight Sparkle and her friends, right?”
The mare behind the booth blinked. “Impressive. You’re the first pony to get that without me having to spell it out.”
“It is?” Moonlight asked. She leaned in for a better look. “Oh, now I see it!”
Thomas’ normally neutral expression worked well in hiding his disappointment, both in Moonlight and the supposedly literate masses. “Looks like pretty professional work for a fanfiction,” he offered as he flipped through the first few pages. The art work really was great, and it wasn’t hard to get used to these new colors for the characters.
“That’s good to hear,” said the mare behind the booth. She stood up and offered her hand, which Thomas took. “Pastel Portrait. I’ve been an assistant writer on Justice Society and my friends and I are trying to start our own book. The Elements of Harmony are pretty underrated as far as heroes go, so I figured they’d make an ideal subject for stories.”
“You have no idea,” Thomas muttered under his breath as he continued to read. “From one struggling writer to another, I think I’ll buy this one.”
Pastel beamed and accepted only half the payment. “A discount for being the only pony around to not make me worry I’m being too subtle with the reference,” she explained.
“Best of luck,” Thomas said as he and the others left.
The remainder of the con was uneventful. They’d seen everything that there was to see at least twice over and many of the staff and guests were starting to pack up. Even the mock battles of cosplayers were growing fewer with increasingly less energy. Besides, Surprise’s costume was so packed with swag that she needed Honey’s support just to keep from falling over.
When they left the huddled masses, Thomas noticed that their departure was accompanied by several other ponies who, unlike the other exhausted and laughing cosplayers, looked suspiciously serious. “Someone needs to teach these guys the importance of smiling while under cover,” he observed.
“Dibs!” declared Surprise.
“We shall see,” laughed Luna and they boarded their carriage.
The ride back to the castle consisted mainly of recapping everything they had seen and done. Mostly they did so while providing commentary with their character voices. Thomas was relieved by the lack of odor he’d been warned about regarding cosplayers. However, was assured that their costumes were merely deluxe models, meaning the rank smells were being polite and patiently waiting for the spells containing them to be undone by the removal of the costumes. While practical, it all sounded a bit gross.
Thomas also took stock of just how casual and relaxed everyone was. Of particular interest were Surprise and Honey. As he and the other spoke, enthralling one another with their stories, Thomas couldn’t help but notice Surprise and Honey. Unlike when they first met, when it seemed like a force of effort just to keep eye contact with the Princess, the pair now seemed perfectly relaxed and comfortable in how they addressed each other and the harem. Maybe Luna’s glamour had something to do with it – after all, ponies were very visual creatures – but the pair was now trading jokes and teasing one another just like the rest of the harem.
This made Thomas smile for reasons other than Surprise’s latest gas giant joke. He liked these two a lot. Surprise was just too bubbly not to make those around her smile and Honey had a rustic charm that made her feel safe and reliable. The ‘L’ word was still a little out of reach at the moment, but he could feel it getting closer. He knew its arrival was all but inevitable at this point and, based on how happy everyone else looked, they likely felt the same.
Thomas slumped back in the carriage seat and felt the fake ears scrunch behind his head. Thinking about a future in which Honey and Surprise would join the short list of folks obligated to hang out with him for vocational reasons, the human gave a contented sigh. This was a future he was looking forward to.
It was nearly morning by the time the carriage dropped Honey off. The others had already gotten off back at the castle, leaving her all alone when she finally disembarked. Her arms were weighed down with swag from Surprise’s Uranus – she chuckled to herself – and was ready to call it a day. The house her herd had bought was a quaint little thing. Two stories, a sizable yard behind a white picket fence, and, invariably, smelled like coming home. It was the perfect place to make a family.
“Honey!”
Speaking of which…
Big Plow’s voice boomed as the front door flung open. “What kept ya so long?” His long, muscled legs carried him forward with long, powerful strides. His mighty, almost intimidating physique crossed the yard with half the steps it would have taken most other ponies. He was a burly figure, a good head taller than Honey, with a dirt brown pelt with his orange mane and tale cut short. The mark upon his hip was that of a plow turning up dirt. “Ya’ll almost missed dinner.”
Dropping the bags of swag where she stood, Honey ran up to her stallion and threw herself into his powerful arms. His tree trunk-sized pecs wrapped around her with a gentleness most wouldn’t expect from one of his size. He pulled her into his chest as she barely managed to wrap her arms around his back. She didn’t even mind that her skirt was wrinkling as she took in his scent and felt the way chiseled muscles pressed against her. Their difference in strength was obvious. Honey gave Plow a squeeze that would have sheered the bark from most trees, but he gave no discernable reaction. His grip remained gently firm around her, holding her in such a way that she knew she wouldn’t be escaping until he had allowed her to.
“Looks like ya’ll got you some new fixin’s fer that shrine o’ yours,” noted Plow as he looked over the bags on the ground.
Honey tried letting go, but Plow’s grip continued to hold her in place. She couldn’t help but laugh at his showing off. “Yeah, so can ya let me down, now?” she asked, kicking impotently in the air. “Ah heard it’s supposed ta rain in a bit and Ah don’t want mah new books gettin’ wet.”
“Hmm. That’s quite the pickle you’ve got yerself into,” agreed Plow. “You’d best get on that before the wind picks up.”
Honey pursed her lips and waited a moment before replying, suspended in midair as she was. “If’n ya don’t mind, Ah’d really like ta get on that.”
“Ya’ll really should,” agreed Plow. “Remember, bring in the disposables first so they don’t spoil. Although Ah think the ice box is full.”
Honey was starting to struggle now, but her efforts were in vain. “Sure. Fine! Jus’ let me go ‘n’ Ah’ll get right on that.”
“Or is it the cold food we gotta take in first?” asked Plow as he casually swung the tall mare from side to side. It was like she weighed nothing in his arms. “Sorry. Ah’m still learnin’ all these fancy big city contraptions.”
“Just put me down you big lug!” Honey demanded. It was a struggle just to keep from laughing as she was swung around. “Ah’ll jus’ get ‘em all in one go!”
“Nuh uh.” Plow’s rebuttal was strict and brokered no argument, even as his fingers glided over Honey’s tickle spots. She choked back her chortles as best she could, but Plow was relentless. “Can’t do that. We’s city folk now. That means doin’ it the city folk way, else Jona’ll have words with us.”
“Stop it! Mwa ha ha ha!” Honey pounded her fists against his rippling muscles, but it was a futile effort. She tried countering his tickling with some of her own, but Plow had anticipated that and readjusted his grip to hold her arms to her side. “Stop it! Ha ha ha! Yer gonna make me pee!”
“You’d better not,” warned a soft, almost squeaky voice from the front porch.
“Jona. Help! Plow’s holdin’ me hostage!” Honey cried even as her legs continued to helplessly flail. At least she was no longer being tickled.
“Plow. What have we said about takin’ mares hostage?” Jonagold asked like she was admonishing a foal. She was short, especially for an earth pony, but also on the stocky side. Her body was thick with muscle, which made her weigh about twice what most expected. Her gold and amber mane was done up in pigtails and tied off with red ribbons. Another ribbon was tied at the end of her tail. Jona’s fur was a light yellow and her flanks were adorned with a large red and yellow apple with a slice removed.
Big Plow turned around with measured slowness until Honey’s back was turned to their lead mare. “Ta run all negations through you?” he offered, sounding like a foal trying to get out of trouble.
Jona had crossed her arms and was tapping her hoof expectantly. “And did you?”
Plow slumped his shoulders and hung his head in shame. It would have been quite convincing, were it not for his ears remaining perfectly straight. “No ma’am. Ah’m sorry.”
Honey continued to kick and struggle. Her anxiety at the potential loss of her new swag was growing by the second as she continued to pull herself free from the stallion’s grip.
Jona adopted a more relaxed posture and smiled. “Well so long as you know what you did wrong.” She and Plow shared a smile. “Now hurry and bring that stuff in. Dinner’s almost done.”
With an affirming “E’yup,” the big stallion hefted Honey up and threw her over his shoulder. He held one arm around her upper legs to hold her in place, even as her skirt rode up and exposed everything underneath. Honey cried, struggled, and kicked even harder at the indignity foisted upon her, but the expression on Plow’s face showed he had no fucks to give as he carried out his chore. With his other hand he stabbed through the holes in Honey’s bags and lifted them all up with his forearm.
Even though Honey had calmed now that her bags were being carried, she continued to kick. It was expected at this point and to do otherwise would be rude. As she looked down, a mischievous smirk crossed the mare’s lips and she started tiptoeing her fingers down his spine. “Ya know, It’s a good thing ya’ll are behavin’ now. ‘Cause ya jus’ left yerself open in a big way.” Her fingers came to a stop less than an inch from his tail. She felt the big stallion’s body tense against her, but she knew his face would remain as stoic as ever.
“Ah take it ya’ll had fun.” His voice was as casual as possible. He didn’t want to let on how nervous he was about having his tail pulled in public. Ponies might see.
“Ah’ll spill at dinner. Jona’ll want ta know and Ah don’t care fer tellin’ the same story three times tonight.”
“Three?”
“Jus’ move that cute butt o’ yours before Ah start gettin’ ideas!”
Plow didn’t need to be told twice and his strides hit double time. He was moving so fast that Honey, in a lapse of judgement, clung more tightly to his back in an irrational fear of falling off and being sent flying; as if Plow’s grip could ever be so feeble. Plow hurried inside, up the stairs, and dropped the swag in what he and Jona were too polite to call Honey’s mare cave. He then spun Honey around and planted her dizzy hooves on the floor. It was the only way he’d feel safe turning his back on her at the moment.
“Jona’s makin’ lasagna,” he said, enunciating the ‘g’.
Honey tumbled a bit and grabbed a desk to steady herself. “Ah smell it.” Her nostrils flared as she took in the succulent odor of her herd mate’s cooking. “She usin’ garlic?”
Plow nodded and licked his lips in anticipation.
Honey beamed back. “Ah’ll be down in five!”
Again Plow nodded. However, he remained facing Honey as he took several steps backward. He didn’t turn away until after he’d reached the stairs. Then he’d hurried down like a foal on Hearth’s Warming.
Honey smiled and laughed at her stallion’s shenanigans. They were absolutely warranted as she would have most definitely tried something if the opportunity had presented itself. However, he had long ago grown wise to her wiles, which made such opportunities scarce in recent times. Oh well. Honey quickly kicked it into gear and undid the various clasps and knots of her dress. While she’d have preferred some help for this part, she was wary about what would happen if Plow or Jona were exposed to her sweaty, smelly body in such a confined place.
Dinner might get cold, and that was downright inexcusable.
As such, she quickly slipped the dress onto a rack before spraying it and herself with a healthy dose of deodorant. It would keep her smell at bay long enough to get through dinner… hopefully. Now naked and smelling like she hadn’t been shoved in a hot box with several hundred ponies for the last few hours, she paused in front of a mirror to quickly comb through her mane. After which, she spied her bags of swag and decided she had just enough time to, as her sire would say, put up her toys before dinner.
Shelves filled with comics covered about half a wall. Her new books were filed away in accordance with a very intricate and complex sorting system she had invented herself. The new Fable Mable books went on the shelves with the Fable Mable stickers, and the Justice Society books were put on an empty shelf, which she vowed to mark with Justice Society stickers at a later time. The rest of the room was dedicated to tables and stands for her numerous figurines. With her recent income as a harem applicant, she’d been able to afford glass stands for her most prized collectables. The rest of her merch was divided up among the tables in accordance to franchise, era, alignment, and several other categories few ponies had the patience to listen to.
When everything was set nice and neat, Honey gave the room one last look as she smiled in contentment. These were her treasures. When she had been little, her collection was small and often a source of teasing from her peers. Jona and Plow, while not fully understanding her fascination with comics and related memorabilia, had been quite supportive of her hobby, so long as she kept her spending under control, which was made simple by Jona enacting her privilege as lead mare and granted Honey and Plow a strict allowance for buying ‘miscellaneous items.’
The same went for Plow, who collected singing bobble heads.
“Five!” Jona called from down stairs. “Foooour!”
Honey’s pupils shrunk down to pin pricks. She spun around and put her homegrown Apple legs to good work as she tore down the hall, slid down the stair railing, and booked it for the dining room.
“Threeeee!” Jona called again. She had just given Plow his first serving, of which there would no doubt be many to follow, and was taking her time in scooping out Honey’s. “Twooooo!”
“Here!” Honey screamed. The legs of the chair scratched against the floor as she pulled it out and threw herself into her seat. She sat up, patted a few places where her fur had been disheveled, and gave her biggest, brightest smile to the expectant looking yellow mare.
“One.” With a swift swipe of her spatula, Jona had deposited Honey’s first serving onto her plate. “Cutting it close,” she said as she set the tray with the lasagna in the middle of the table for anypony to reach when they were hungry, right next to the pitcher. The table was set neatly with nice plates, new silverware, and refreshingly tall glasses of some refreshingly cool ice water. Jona then took her place at the head of the table, sitting down with a contented sigh.
“Ah made it, didn’t Ah? That’s all that matters.”
“Jus’ try not ta cut it so close next time,” advised Jona. “Ah’d hate ta send ya out ta have dinner in the chicken coop.”
Honey chuckled and nodded her head. “Yes ma’am.” They were all from a farming town, so the simple fact that none of them had ever actually owned a chicken coop had never been a hindrance to this particular threat. Apples were a simple folk who knew how to make do with what they had.
Once everypony was settled, they all bowed their heads to say grace. They paid their respects to Faust, thanking her for the blessing of alicorns that made their world so peaceful and prosperous. They prayed to Virgo, the first legend and patron saint of the earth ponies, said to have taught them the ways of earth magic. Lastly, they offered thanks to the alicorns, wishing their Princesses good health and eternal wisdom.
“Think we should start prayin’ fer some o’ that wisdom ta go ta the ponies in Parliament?” asked Honey after the prayer’s conclusion. “Ah reckon everypony could do with a little more sense.”
Jona gave a grin as she stirred her lasagna portion. “Ah don’t know. Seem like there’s a purty big difference between prayin’ an’ wishful thinkin’.”
“E’yup,” agreed Plow before taking his first bite.
Honey gave a shrug. “Fair point.” She dipped her fork in her portion and scooped out almost too much for even a mouthful. Regardless, she managed to shovel it in and gave a long, happy moan at the flavor.
Jona beamed, always happy to hear her work appreciated. “I tried a new sauce from the farmer’s market. Should I buy more for next time?” Her herd, given that their mouths were full to the brim, responded with urgent nods. “Glad to hear it.”
“So. You guys do anythin’ interestin’ while Ah was out?” Honey asked, immediately following her question with another mouthful.
“Nothin’ much,” said Jona. “Our shift finished up early, so we spent the rest o’ the night runin’ some errands, did a bit o’ cleanin’; jus’ a catchup day fer the chores we’ve been draggin’ our hooves on.”
Honey swallowed. “Sounds relaxin’. An’ the fun kind o’ relaxin’, too; not the kind where ya just lay around all night ‘n’ get antsy with the need ta jus’ do somethin’.”
“E’yup,” affirmed Plow.
“As opposed ta tonight, where Ah was able ta keep on mah hooves almost the entire time, ‘cept fer lunch.”
“If Ah didn’t know better, Ah’d think you actually did somethin’ productive,” said Jona with a playful smirk.
Honey shot the smaller mare a raspberry. “If Ah’m bringin’ home the bits, it counts as work, right Plow?”
Plow gave this question a bit of thought before he answered. “E’yup.”
“Well, have ya at least plowed the perky plump posterior of the Princess, yet?”
Honey gave Jona a long, deadpan stare. “Ya’ll think that, if Ah managed ta live out the not-so-secret fantasy o’ everypony alive after puberty, Ah’d be able ta shut up about it?”
“E’nope,” Plow said in such a way that made Jona feel somewhat castigated for not anticipating the obvious.
“Yeah. Ah deserved that.” She hung her head and her ears briefly splayed in apology.
“Anyway, Ink Con was great,” cheered Honey. “Biggest Ah’ve ever seen with ponies dressed as things even Ah couldn’t recognize.”
Jona snorted and gave a smirk. “Nightmare Night come early this year?”
“Like ya’ll wouldn’t believe,” Honey said. “But the best part was the guys, Luna an’ the harem.”
“Thomas, too?” Plow asked.
Honey gave her stallion a playful smirk. She knew he’d been curious about the human from the moment she’d mentioned him. “Yeah.”
Plow’s ears pivoted forward in a show of rapt attention. “As?”
“You wouldn’a recognized ‘im if ya saw ‘im.” Honey shoveled another forkful into her mouth and chewed quickly. “He was in a glamour that made him look like a skinny, sand colored, earth stallion.”
Plow’s face remained neutral, but his ears twitched downwards in a show of disappointment.
“Ya’ll know he’s bent, right? Only got eyes fer mares,” reminded Honey. She downed the rest of her ice water.
Plow shrugged. Everypony was allowed to fantasize.
“Ah’m jus’ sayin’ this so ya don’t go scarin’ him if Ah bring ‘im over.”
It was Jona’s turn to pivot her ears forward. She said nothing, but the look she gave Honey was anxious and expectant.
Honey served herself another portion of lasagna and filled her glass with water from the pitcher. “‘Member that potluck Ah told ya’ll about a few nights back? Well, Ah’ve been thinkin’ it over, and it really sounds like a fun way fer ya’ll ta meet everypony.”
Jona perked up in excitement. She wasn’t one of those fancy pants socialites who felt the need to attend fancy parties just to be seen attending. However, the idea of hosting a dinner for a Princess, even an informal get-together, moved the small mare in ways she hadn’t expected. However, this glint of social climbing was short lived and quickly subsided into caution. “Wouldn’t that be a little arrogant? Ah’m still a little fuzzy on the two herds thing, but it seems like ya should only invite the rest o’ the family over once everypony’s sure things are serious.”
“E’yup,” agreed Plow, sounding more hopefully optimistic than cautious.
“Ah can talk it out with somepony tomorrow. Silver really seems ta know what she’s doin’, but Thomas’d probably be the easiest ta convince. Either way, Ah’m feelin’ really confident ‘bout this,” Honey informed. Her eyes were pleading for Jona’s permission. “Ah really like these guys. Surprise is a barrel o’ laughs an’ jus’ the most generous mare Ah’ve ever met. Silver’s the short, scrappy type,” she said and gestured at Jona, making the small mare laugh, “but she’s sharp as a needle ‘n’ knows how ta take charge. Moonlight’s jus’ super fun ta talk to. She’s a unicorn, but really comes off as a good ol’ fashioned workin’ mare, always there ta do her duty and watch out fer her stallion.”
Plow cleared his throat. His face was pointed down at the plate as he ate, but his ears were focused exclusively on his green herd mare.
Honey grinned. “Thomas is jus’ the cutest little sweetheart Ah’ve ever met. He’s got a bit ‘f a cynical side and some purty big confidence issues, but he’s also super thoughtful. Even if he don’t know how, like Surprise somehow does, Ah get the feelin’ the reason he’s so quiet is ‘cause he’s busy thinkin’ about how to help everypony around him. An’ once ya finally do get ‘im talkin’,” she giggled, “the stuff that comes out o’ his mouth’ll leave ya in happy and sad tears.”
Plow shifted in his seat. The mares didn’t need to ask why. They could smell it.
“And the big mare on top?” Jona asked. “Ah know ya said a lot o’ this is s’pposed ta be all hush-hush, but come on.”
Honey nodded. Her lead mare made a convincing argument. “If’n Ah told ya jus’ how she looks when the dress ‘n’ crown comes off, ya’d probably mess yer chair,” she began, only half joking. She poked idly at her food as she gazed off at nothing in particular. “She’s… She’s jus’ great. She’s really nice, but can be scary when she wants ta be. She’s kinda like Thomas with her stories. Once ya get ‘er goin’, she’s jus’ got this… way about her that makes me feel like Ah can listen fer hours. An’ then there’s…” Honey trailed off. This next part was a little a lot personal, and it took her a bit of time to decide if sharing with her herd was a violation of the trust she’d been shown.
Her herd waited in patient silence. They could tell Honey was in deep thought over something that was clearly important and didn’t want to disturb her.
Eventually, Honey made her decision. “She usually hides it pretty well, but she’s still not all better after the Nightmare Moon stuff. Usually she’s smilin’, but sometimes it ain’t real. Sometimes it’s like she’s jus’ wearin’ a mask, ‘n’ sometimes it slips.”
Both Jona and Plow flinched at Honey’s admission. All three of them had been raised in traditional households in which it was something of a taboo to speak ill of the alicorns. Jona’s earlier comment about perky posteriors had been harmless, even if it did lack for tact. However, Honey’s admission of Luna’s weakness had left the members of her herd feeling uncomfortable, which in turn also made her uncomfortable.
The alicorns were praised as saints and saviors. Old churches still stood, and even some new ones had been built, for ponies to congregate and offer prayers to the ageless and ever-present beauties. However, not everypony worshipped, and not everypony worshipped the same. These days, many ponies viewed the alicorns as little more than uber powerful unicorns who could fly, but there were just as many who still held on to the old ways. Bat ponies in Nocternia made weekly visits to one of the last standing churches to Luna, while, where Honey was born, it was more of an unspoken rule to always pay one’s respects to the most important ponies to have ever lived.
Honey knew this. She knew that the words coming out of her mouth were bordering on sacrilege, yet still felt the need to continue. “Tonight, while we were takin’ the carriage to the place,” she breathed to steady herself, “Luna’s mask slipped.”
Honey’s herd mates flinched back as if physically struck.
“She don’t like when other ponies treat her with foal gloves, but it’s still hard fer her sometimes. Tonight, she had a moment, an’ Ah jus’ felt so happy!” Honey confessed. “It was short, but it was a moment Ah actually got ta see. Ah know it sounds selfish, but it jus’ made me feel so special how she trusted me even that little glimpse. It was kinda like that moment we had after that big storm back in Baltimare,” Honey reminded. Her ears were hot and her eyes were starting to water. “The storm took almost everythin’ an’ everypony was devastated. Fer a while, it looked like all was lost. An’ then, fer no real reason at all, ponies started comin’ together.”
Plow and Jona also became a bit emotional as they returned to that memory.
“Things was bad, but the one thing the storm didn’t take from us was each other, our family. We pulled through the bad times an’ became stronger fer it,” Honey continued. “That was what it felt like back in the carriage. It was such a little thing, but it really moved me. Ah didn’t understand it at the time, but now I’m thinkin’ it made me want ta be there forever so Ah could hold her just like we did tonight. Ah wanted ta share in those moments with her,” Honey stood and walked around to stand between Jona and Plow, where upon she grabbed both her herd mates’ hands and gave them a squeeze, “jus’ like Ah want to spend mah moments with ya’ll.”
Plow and Jona returned Honey’s grip with tighter squeezes. It was how they’d been taught to show affection. They stared at one another, misty-eyed in their reminiscing. The Apples were an old fashioned bunch with an old fashioned way of doing things. In the Apple houses in which each of them had been raised, they’d been taught the importance of making time to reaffirm your love with your herd. No big, expensive gestures were needed. All one had to do was take a couple minutes out of each and every day, and do something plain and simple to let your love know how much you cared.
Jona was the first to break the silence. “Ah’m assumin’ ya’ll’ve put some thought into this.”
Honey grinned from ear to ear. “Luna’s got guards who follow her around wherever she goes.” She paused and looked around their house. It was bigger than what they’d had back in Baltimare, but… “Ah don’t think we’ve got space enough fer a bunch o’ guards. An’ Ah know you’d get mighty sore if’n a bunch o’ ponies had ta stand outside while we all enjoyed a nice, hot meal,” she said to Jona.
The small mare nodded. If that happened, she’d inevitably demand that everypony come inside and share her hearth. The air still had the lingering chill of winter. Jona didn’t know how many guards there would be, but she reasoned that somepony as important as an alicorn Princess would have more than could comfortably fit in her house. Not only would that be a complete breakdown of the decorum, but there was the very real possibility that she’d encounter a pony staunch in military protocol who’d refuse her hospitality. Things would just go downhill from there.
“So Ah was thinkin’ mah room up at the castle would work,” Honey continued. “It’s big enough an’ Ah could talk ta the chefs about borrowin’ some o’ their wares.”
Jona clucked her tongue. “Ya still need ta ask.”
“E’yup.”
Honey beamed and wrapped her arms around both ponies’, pulling them into an almost choking embrace. Their answers had been as good as any ‘yes’ and it was only a matter of time before she could introduce her treasured loved ones to her other treasured loved ones.
“So how much should we make? I’ve never done a potluck before.” Moonlight, like the others, was busying herself in the kitchen that Luna normally borrowed for her lessons, the one some of the chefs had taken to calling it things like ‘the war room,’ and other similarly foreboding titles. The addition of shields loaned from the armory situated around the room really added to the ambience of what this particular kitchen had become.
Rumors had taken on a life of their, becoming a modern urban legend in a relatively short amount of time. An air of mystery had been born around this kitchen, with hushed whispers telling tales of great wonders emerging from the ether, drawn by the kitchen’s immeasurable power. The rumors drew investigation, not least of which from other chefs seeking to understand these culinary conundrums. To some extent, the kitchen had become something of a rite of passage for cooks both novice and tenured. After all, if one was truly worthy of serving food fit for a Princess, one must be willing to brave the most dangerous kitchen in the realm.
“Enough for everyone to at least have two servings,” Thomas said as he cracked some eggs over the bowl of his dish. The bowls and cooking finery were all sized up to the Amazonian statue of the ponies, but the measurements were all the same as what he was used to on Earth. “Had to talk with one of the chefs about getting the proportions right, but I think I’ll still have to make three cakes just to be on the safe side.”
Moonlight nodded and looked around the kitchen. Almost every cooking station had been confiscated by Luna and the members of her harem, each of whom were either working alone or with the aid of only a few chefs for support. After all, there was no point in doing this if each dish wasn’t personally handcrafted by each of them with love and care. She took a deep breath through her nose and gave a satisfied smile. “Smells good.”
“I take full credit for that,” Surprise declared as she dashed from one oven to another, each of which was at her exclusive disposal. “Mama’s double decker brownies always leave your mouth watering, especially once they’re out of the oven.”
“Double decker?” Silver asked.
“Old family recipe,” chirped Surprise. “See, there’s this trick to baking that makes them extra yummy fluffy, but don’t ask what it is. Family secret and all that.”
Silver hummed thoughtfully as she regarded the white mare wearing nothing but a pink apron. Besides the mixed odors of so many delicious foods permeating the air, the way that mare’s rump swayed as she worked was enough to make the refined bat mare’s mouth water. “I hope there aren’t too many deserts,” Silver said, trying to distract herself.
“Would that be so bad?” Luna asked as she chopped away with magically dulled knives. She’d lost the privilege to use regular, non-enchanted knives after the last incident with the toupee and the live fish. “If Honey and her herd wish to offer up sweet and sugary morsels for our enjoyment, then who are we to refuse,” she opined, licking her lips.
“Yeah,” Thomas agreed. “Worst case scenario, we all have to brush our teeth extra hard later.”
“I hope these aren’t the only deserts. My sweet tooth’s been acting up lately,” Surprise added. “It aches with an overwhelming hunger that begs to be satisfied.”
“Probably Thomas’ too. He’s got a pretty bad sweet tooth of his own.”
“Heeeeey,” Thomas whined at Moonlight.
“He never wants to buy any, but whenever there’s free candy or other sweets, he’s always quick to grab at least a few.”
“I don’t hear you complaining when you always take half,” Thomas countered.
Moonlight just grinned and gave the human’s rump a playful flick with her tail.
“I hope the carriages arrive on time,” Silver said in worry. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but my deviled eggs are best eaten fresh out of the oven. If there’s too much traffic…” she trailed off, her meaning obvious.
“Fear not. I have arranged a flying chariot to bring Honey’s herd directly to the castle, bypassing all foreseeable traffic obstacles,” Luna informed plainly. “They will arrive with utmost haste, and be escorted directly to Miss Honey’s room for evening brunch.” She giggled at the odd word. “Hehe. Brunch.”
The Princess and her harem had been working diligently since early morning, waking up extra early and wolfing down their breakfast so they could get started. Honey had been absent from Luna’s harem this morning, no doubt working with her herd to prepare their own dishes for the night’s festivities, such as they were. Surprise had to talked down several times from going all out with setting up streamers, balloons and the like, as this was meant to be a simple, casual and relaxed get-together. They’d compromised by allowing her to bring in materials for some party games she had planned.
**********
Meanwhile, across Canterlot, Honey was doing her best to get her family in gear.
“C’mon, Jona. Plow’s already done with makin’ his salad.” She gestured at the big stallion who was smiling apologetically and waving from where he was beside his bowl of salad.
“Ah’m afraid there’s nothin’ to it,” Jona informed. She’d pulled up a chair and had been reading a magazine for some time, ever since she’d put her dish in the oven. “We can go once the timer’s up.” While her tone was passive, the way she kept licking her lips suggested that she was experiencing more tension than she was letting on. “Speaking of which, yer sure there isn’t a dress code ‘r nothin’?”
Honey nodded fervently. “We all talked it out ‘n’ agreed it’d be best if the whole thing was kept as informal as equinely possible. Thomas might wear his uniform, but that’s jus’ cuz he’s got this thing ‘bout bein’ naked in front o’ strangers.”
“But what about the Princess? Ah mean, not that we can afford anythin’ that’d even be close to-”
“She’ll be naked,” Honey interjected. While Jona was normally the coolheaded one of the bunch, once she got to worrying, she had a tendency to imagine scenarios which increasingly grew from bad to worse, so it was best to reassure her herdmate. Meeting a Princess for the first time was an understandable source of anxiety, after all.
Jona blinked as her ears pivoted to full alert. “N-naked?”
“Naked,” Honey confirmed. “No dress, no hoof guards, no necklace-thingy, and no crown.”
“It comes off?” Plow asked in disbelief.
Honey nodded. “It does. Sometimes, during mah mornin’ shift, she even lets me put it on ‘er.” She looked between her anxious herd mates. “It gets tirin’ havin’ ponies bow ‘n’ kiss yer hooves all the time. The Princesses ‘re amazin,’ but they’re also ponies. They like ta let their manes down, and in this case it’s literal,” she added with a chuckle, “jus’ like the rest o’ us. They like havin’ friends that’ll treat ‘em jus’ like everypony else.”
Jona swallowed as she exchanged a worried look with Plow. “Then… what’s the… how do we greet ‘er? Is regular bowin’ okay, or-”
“Bow when ya first say ‘hello’ – that’s jus’ manners – but after that she’d like ya ta look ‘er straight in the eye when yer talkin’. An’ she’ll expect ya ta talk, too!” Honey emphasized. “That’s what Ah did when Ah first met ‘er. Thanks ta that pep talk ya’ll gave me, I walked in that meetin’ room like Ah was meant ta be there. Ah smiled, said ‘hi’, kissed ‘er hand-”
“An’ put ‘er finger in yer mouth,” Plow reminded, still sounding incredulous that she’d actually been daring enough to do something like that with an alicorn Princess, of all beings.
“Yeah,” Honey chuckled, smiling at the fond memory. “An’ she liked me fer it. Look, jus’ be yerselves when we get there. Keep yer snoots level, not pointed down. Speak like ya would meetin’ any other new friend. An’ most importantly of all…” she trailed off, noting the way the others leaned forward in anticipation. She shighed and shook her head. “Jus’ relax will ya. Ah’m sure it’ll all be fine. Luna ‘n’ all the others ‘re great folks and they’re jus’ itchin’ ta meet ya. Ah promise.”
The timer went off with a soft ‘ting’.
“One last thing,” Honey continued as she moved to help Jona with the oven. “If’n ya have ta fart, jus’ blame it on Silver.”
**********
The trip to the castle was a short one, even by sky carriage standards. Each member of Honey’s herd sat with their respective dishes wrapped up in their laps while taking the opportunity to look out over the city. It wasn’t often an earth pony got to see things from a pegasus’ point of view, and what a view it was. The great towers of Canterlot glittered like the twinkling stars of the night sky. The ponies on the ground looked almost like ants as they moved about, taking care of their various nightly duties. A concert was playing off in the distance, filling the night air with a lovely composition of strings and horns.
They arrived at one of the secondary entrances where a lunar guard stood watch. “Greetings Apple Honey, Jonagold, and Big Plow,” the guard said, nodding to each of them. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll escort you the rest of the way.”
“Why?” Jona asked and looked at Honey. “Don’t you know where yer own room is?”
Honey scrunched her nose at her mate’s joke, earning a playful sneer in retaliation. This was a good sign. It meant Honey’s advice was being taken and they were all starting to relax. Even Plow, though silent, looked considerably less tense than earlier.
The guard answered after patiently waiting for the silliness to pass. “Princess Luna’s orders. She would have liked to have been here herself, but it seems there was a little… issue in the kitchen.”
Honey flinched. “No pony got hurt, did they?”
Jona and Plow’s ears pivoted forward in interest. Honey had told them a little about what Luna was like in the kitchen, but she’d played things down considerably for everypony’s benefit.
“Thank Faust, no,” the guard replied. Her tone of voice made it sound like she was all too familiar with the string of – as Luna described them – entirely unrelated instances of bad luck that were purely coincidental and in no way suggested that there was some kind of jinx at work. Besides, she and a small army of skilled casters had already checked for that.
“Shall we?” the guard asked and indicated the door.
Jona and Plow didn’t say much as they were led along through the castle corridors. Being simple country folk, they were understandably struck mute by the awe and majesty of the castle and its finery. Servants stepped aside as they passed, although many nodded to Honey and greeted her by name, thanking her for helping them with various chores around the castle.
“You lookin’ ta be a concubine or a maid?” Plow asked with a grin. “Cuz it sounds like you’ve been doin’ an awful lot o’ cleanin’.”
“Don’t see why Ah can’t be both,” was Honey’s honest reply. She hadn’t actually considered taking up any other formal work around the castle before, but she didn’t see it being any sort of problem. “Moonlight gets ta be a guard ‘n’ buck the Princess, so Ah don’t see why Ah can’t do two things too.”
“Ah’m proud o’ you, Honey,” Jona said. “Ah was a bit worried that spendin’ so much time in the castle might change ya, make ya all snooty like some o’ them more prissy nobles. But it looks like yer the same helpful mare ya’ve always been.”
Honey snorted indignantly. “If Silver were here, she’d say somethin’ like how that don’t even deserve a proper response. But me? Ah’m jus’ wonderin’ if’n Ah can get away with givin’ ya a firm spankin’ ‘efore the night is out.”
Jona just nodded, her face free of all expression. “You can try,” she dared.
“Hey. Looks like somepony beat us here,” Plow said, pointing up ahead. Most of the doors they’d passed were devoid of any guards. The one up ahead, however, had six.
“Good eye,” Honey praised. “Ah guess things in the kitchen weren’t too bad this time.”
“Is that somethin’ we should be wary about?” Jona asked. It was still hard to grasp the Princesses being so inept at something as simple, by her standards, as cooking.
“Probably not, but Ah wouldn’t bring it up, though,” Honey explained. “Luna can be kinda sensitive ‘bout that.”
Jona nodded her understanding. Despite her cool exterior, she was still worried about meeting an actual goddess. Plow was still a bit worried too. However, the way Honey had described Luna and the others in the harem had helped to put them both at ease.
They arrived at the door and Honey knocked.
“Who is it?” a mare on the other side called.
“Are you sure this is the right door?” Jona whispered.
Plow looked between the guards stationed to either side of the door for an answer, but they didn’t seem forthcoming.
Honey grinned, both in recognition of Surprise’s voice and her decision to have a little fun. “We’re acolytes, here ta spread the good news about Princess Celestia. Praise the sun and glory to Celestia!”
Jona and Plow exchanged flabbergasted looks. Of all the things that were generally deemed acceptable in polite society, trying to preach the merits of Celestia worship in Luna’s own wing of the castle was pretty far down on the list.
“Really?” Surprise asked. There was the sound of movement and whispers beyond the door. “Mind waiting for a second. We need a bit to prepare the customary cat-apult.”
Honey’s ear flicked at the inflection while her mates took several cautious steps back. “Ya’ll aren’t plannin’ launchin’ a bunch o’ angry cats at us, are ya?”
There was a short pause. “… noooooo.”
“What if we bribed ya with baked goods?” Honey asked. “Would ya let us in, then?”
More whispering. “Maaaaybe. What kind?”
Honey chuckled. It helped put her at ease to joke around with Surprise. “Wieners ‘n’ buns.”
Jona coughed loudly, looking up at Honey in disbelief even as Plow and some of the guards chuckled at the playful banter that was taking place.
“Oh, that sounds yummy. It’s been ages since I had a thick, juicy piece of meat inside me,” Surprise said as she finally unlocked the door. The first thing she did was greet Honey with a powerful hug, mindful of the dumplings she carried. The second thing she did was notice the blushes on the other two ponies’ faces. “Howdy ya’ll,” she greeted warmly, keeping one arm over Honey’s shoulder. “Nice to finally meet you guys. I’m Surprise,” she said and offered out her hand.
Jona, remembering her manners, cleared her throat and straightened her posture. She maneuvered the tray of fritters under one arm and offered her hand in kind. “Jonagold. A pleasure to finally meet you.” Surprise’s grip was impressively firm as far as pegasi went. With how physical and friendly she was being with Honey, Jona decided she liked this mare.
“Big Plow,” the big stallion added and took his turn, reaching much the same conclusion as Jona.
“Glad you guys showed up when you did,” Surprise said and stepped aside to allow them entry. “The food is still fresh, but some of it is starting to grow cold.”
Jona and Plow followed Honey inside and looked upon Luna and the members of her harem. As Honey had predicted, the only one wearing anything was Thomas. The human’s furless skin was a little off putting to the country ponies, but he seemed nice enough. The farmers had heard enough about the other ponies standing around the room to easily be able to identify them by name. Luna, naturally, was the most striking mare in the room. She was a bit shorter than Jona and Plow had expected, but that still left her towering imposingly over them both. Her mane and tail hung disappointingly limp behind her; both had been looking forwards to seeing their legendary waving. There was nothing that could be said about her gorgeous body that thousands of eloquent poets hadn’t said already. Yet without her crown and regalia, it was almost possible to forget that she was a Princess and not just a gorgeous super-model. After a moment of confusion, they decided that – after setting their food on a nearby table – the most polite way to approach this was to go in order of rank, starting with the Princess.
“Greetings, Princess,” Jona and Plow said together. They bowed their heads down while keeping their backs straight.
Luna stood from where she’d been sitting on the bed and walked over to the bowing ponies. She stood in silence for a moment as she studied them. “Honey has told me much about you, Jonagold and Big Plow,” she said with gentle authority in her voice. “She has told me that you are both fine, upstanding ponies of the community. You give to charity, but also donate your time to whoever might be in need.” Both bowing ponies looked up, their expressions alight from her praise. “It is my distinct honor to finally meet you,” Luna said before returning the bow.
Honey cleared her throat and both her mates snapped back to attention. She coughed a second time and the pair forced themselves to relax a bit.
“The pleasure is all ours.” Jona’s voice was dripping in awe as she, recalling what Honey had said, offered out her hand. Luna’s appreciative smile was enough to make the small mare’s knees wobble. Her skin was softer than silk, yet her grip gave just enough of a squeeze to hint at the true strength lying beneath. “Your Highness,” Jona added hurriedly.
Luna gave a tired sigh. “I would appreciate it if we could refrain from titles for this night’s festivities. For now, I ask that you simply call me Luna.”
“Yes, Your-Luna,” Jona stammered.
Luna’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Or, if you prefer, you may refer to me as Lady of the night, Princess Luna, she of the pristinely grand figure, whose plot puts all others to shame, especially Celestia’s.”
“Shoot,” Surprise hissed and pulled out a pen and paper from her mane. “This is kinda last minute. Not sure if I’ll be able to remember all that.” She then handed the paper off to Luna. “Think you can wear this nametag for a bit so we can remember?” Surprise blinked obliviously as Luna covered her mouth to contain her guffaws. The other concubines were also trying to repress their chortles. “What?”
Plow smiled softly while waiting patiently for the foalish giggles to subside. “Funny,” he said when Luna finally seemed ready to accept his hand. “Howdy ma’am. Name’s Big Plow. That there’s mah lead mare, Jonagold.”
Jona pursed her lips at realizing she’d forgotten to give her name to Luna. Maybe it wasn’t as much of a blunder since she’d already given it to Surprise? Either way, Jona’s gut was in knots.
“We’re mighty pleased ta meet ya.” Plow’s tone was gentle and cordial, the same as he always used when he was feeling relaxed and friendly.
Luna’s eyes looked appraisingly up and down the stallion, lingering just a few seconds longer below the belt, before she turned to face Honey. “I can only imagine why you chose such a specimen for your stallion,” she said with a wink.
Plow’s expression remained frozen in smile, yet his cheeks had turned a dark shade of red.
The greetings continued with the remaining concubines in order of their induction. Thomas smiled politely and gave their hands an extra squeeze as Honey had suggested, just to show that he was putting in the effort. Jona was sweet enough, but when it came to Plow, it was hard not to feel emasculated before that tower of pectoral muscle and his deformed third leg. Moonlight was just as cordial. These seemed like good ponies and first impressions were important. Plow, despite being the physical peak of earth pony masculinity, did nothing for her hormonally. He just wasn’t her type. Silver put more of a flare into her greetings, bowing with a flourish and even kissing the back of Plow’s hand. Jona, she was relieved, was not taller than herself, granting the bat the temporary privilege of not being the shortest mare in the room for a change.
“Can we eat now?” Surprise asked. “Everything smell so good and it’s driving me crazy.”
“Manners!” Silver snapped, but Surprise looked unperturbed.
“Be at ease, Silver,” Luna soothed. “She simply voices what we are all thinking.” She turned to the table where all the food had been gathered, along with an assortment of drink pitchers, and licked her lips in longing. “Is that cinnamon I smell?”
“You bet it is,” Jona boasted proudly, only to quickly wind down her excitement. “Uh, that is… Ah always make mah apple fritters with extra cinnamon. It’s how mah pa made ‘em and it’s what Ah grew up lovin’.”
With minimal fanfare, the assembled ponies and human were herded around the table with all the food and sat down. Luna and Thomas had special chairs – at opposite ends of the table – to adjust for their size issues, but everyone else was able to sit wherever they pleased. From her position at the head of the table, to Luna’s left sat Silver, Surprise, and Moonlight. Her right was taken up by Honey, Plow, and Jona.
“Shall I lead the prayer?” Jona asked and everyone communicated their agreement.
Thomas just nodded his head and followed the others’ actions.
All clasped their hands together and bowed their heads in the traditional way as Jona began. “We pray first af Faust, mother o’ Gaia and all her wonders. May she forever watch us ‘n’ guide our destinies true. We pray ta the alicorns. May they be forever blessed with wisdom ‘n’ strength in their struggles ta keep our world at peace. Amen.”
“Amen,” the others repeated and they began digging in.
“That was well said,” Silver complimented as she reached for one of the sandwiches Luna had made special for her; the patty was actual meat and not tofu like the others got. “We almost never pray around here, so that was quite refreshing.”
“Much obliged,” Jona accepted and grabbed a helping of scalloped potatoes.
Thomas frowned a little as he loaded his plate. “Is it impolite if I ask, you know, why you pray to someone who’s sitting right there?” He pointed with his fork across the table.
“Alicorns ‘re goddesses,” Plow said matter-of-factly. “It’s jus’ what yer supposed ta do.”
“In the beginning, my sister and I did all we could to help our little ponies grow and prosper,” Luna began. “Ponies praying to us like goddesses came naturally. We did not oppose it, as it helped to solidify our authority over the fractured tribes. Besides, after a time, we began to… I suppose hearing would be the closest equivalent. In any case, we were able to sense the prayers of our ponies, even from great distances. The words were unclear, unless spoken within a temple, but the sentiments behind them were a great source of inner strength, allowing us to push through the harder times.”
Thomas blinked and said the first thing that came to mind. “That’s pretty awesome.”
“Chh,” Jona scoffed. “If mah ma heard you talkin’ like that, she’d box yer ears.”
“Spoken from experience?” Honey teased as she slipped the first forkful into her mouth. “Mmmh, sweet Faust alive!” she gasped. “Who made the deviled eggs?”
Silver raised her hand and gave a friendly wave. “Present.”
Honey narrowed her eyes on the little bat. “Now Ah’m mad at ya fer not makin’ ‘em sooner. These are delicious!” To make her point she shoveled another bite into her mouth and grabbed three more off the central platter.
“Save yer breath,” Plow said disinterestedly before washing down his latest bite. “If’n there’s any feudin’ ta be had, it’s over these here brownies. They’re almost as good as what mah grand pappy used ta make.”
Surprise’s ear flicked irately. “Almost?”
“E’yup,” Plow agreed. “They’s fluffy enough, sure, but Ah think ya might o’ gone overboard with the sugar. They’re a little too sweet fer mah taste.”
“Blasphemy!” declared Surprise. “There’s no such thing as too sweet!”
“Oh shut up and eat your salad,” chided Silver dismissively.
Surprise pouted and nodded. “Fine.” She pointed her fork threateningly at Plow. “But you and me are gonna have words later.” She snorted and, after looks of warning from both Silver and Jona, resumed eating. “Too much sugar my pale white pucker,” she grumbled, startling a few chortles from the others.
Luna chuckled. “Since we seem to be speaking in turns, Plow.”
“Yes ma’am,” he replied with a snap.
“This broccoli salad of yours is simply exquisite.” She purred as she took another bite. “And are these candied apple slices in the mix?”
“No ma’am. Jus’ regular apples.”
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “Careful now, colt. It is unwise to lie to a Princess.”
Plow gulped audibly. “Ah ain’t lyin’, ma’am. They’s jus’ top grade Apple brand apples thrown in fer extra flavor.”
Luna tilted her head in consideration as she looked between Plow and an apple slice. “Be warned, my little pony. If I should learn that these are any less than the legendary fruits that have made your clan so well-known and respected, your dreams I shall plague ye with such tremendous visions of lust that your mares will never again know the full impact of your seed in their bellies.”
Jona’s head swiveled around, looking from face to face as her expression kept shifting between fear, confusion, and interest. “Can she do that?” she whispered to Honey. The green mare just shrugged.
“If I could, I definitely would,” chirped Surprise merrily. “It’s like the perfect blend of a friendly favor you give to ponies you like, and a devastating threat to keep your enemies in line.” She giggle-snorted. “I love it.”
“Ah was in the kitchen the whole time,” Honey said to Luna. “He didn’t do nothin’ special ta them apples. Ya have mah word.”
“Oh. Okay, then,” Luna said without even a trace of her prior malice and leaving Jona and Plow confused. “The offer still stands, if you want to give it a try for a few nights.”
Jona and Plow looked at one another. Both were in different states of shock at the Princess’ proposition. Eventually, Jona managed to turn her head to face the diarch and voice the only response that made sense. “We’ll think about it.”
“I’m thinking about it too,” Moonlight said, finally speaking up. “I’m also thinking about how this sandwich was made with such perfectly balanced toppings.” She sunk her teeth into the already half gone compression of bread, vegetables, and tofu. “It’s almost like it was made special just for me.”
“Really?” Luna asked, feigning ignorance. “Well that is certainly curious.”
“I must concur,” added Silver. “The fish patty in mine is cooked to perfection.”
“Mine’s a little smoky, but I guess its fine given what happened,” Surprise said.
“Speakin’ o’ which, why’s yers so small?” Jona asked while staring at Thomas. In particular, she was staring at how empty his plate looked compared to everypony else’s. “Look at ya. If that’s how ya eat all the time, it’s no wonder yer such a tiny little thing.”
“Don’t get me started,” Moonlight said. “I’ve been telling him the same for months, but he’s such a picky eater. Even the food he does like he barely nibbles on.”
“Hey,” whined Thomas. “Does this look like nibbling to you?” He held up the last remaining quarter of his sandwich.
“Given that it was originally only half the size of Silver’s? Yes,” Moonlight said flatly.
“It’s not my fault. I knew there’d be a lot of good food to try, so I needed to portion it out so I can get a little bit of everything.”
“We should hit the gym after we eat,” Honey interjected. “Wait a little fer our stomachs ta settle, then go get our bodies workin’. It’ll help the food digest and send the stuff where it’s supposed ta go.”
“Is that how it works?” Surprise asked. “I’ve always just eaten whatever I wanted and it all seems to go where it should on its own.” She squeezed her elbows under her chest to prop up her breasts for emphasis.
“Lucky,” grumbled Silver. “I’ve always eaten right and kept my body in tiptop shape, but this,” she gestured to her relatively small chest,” is all I’ve gotten for my trouble.”
“That’s just how some bodies are,” Thomas said. “Some’ll give you the perfect figure no matter what you eat; others almost seem to be conspiring against you. I heard how you eat is also important, like eating more slowly is supposed to be healthier.”
“Ya’ll still need ta eat more,” Jona asserted. “Put some meat on them bones.”
“Do apple fritters count? Because these are great.”
“That’s mighty kind o’ ya ta say,” Jona began as she smiled appreciatively at Thomas, “but don’t go thinkin’ Ah’m that easy ta butter up.”
Thomas smiled. “Okay. Then how about this? I don’t normally eat too many apples. It’s not that I dislike them, but just not something I’ll generally ask for. Even so, I kinda have to agree with Luna that you guys must be doing something extra with your apples.” He took another bite of the fritter. “These are delicious.”
Jona blinked and clucked her tongue. “Okay. Maybe Ah am that easy.”
“Speakin’ o’ which,” Honey began. “Ah know ya’ll ‘re usually guidin’ Luna in her cooking lessons ‘n’ all, but Ah never really took ya fer much o’ a chef.”
“Like my cake?” Thomas asked.
“Very much,” she said through her mouthful. “What’s it called again?”
“Thanks. It’s my mom’s recipe for German chocolate cake. Basically, whenever there was some sort of event at my mom’s work, or whenever we went to see distant relatives, pretty much everyone demanded that she make this cake. Even my one cousin, who hated chocolate, just loved it when my mom would bake this cake.”
“Tell us about it,” implored Moonlight. “I’d like to hear what your family was like.”
Thomas stared down at his food a moment, shifting it around with his fork. “Loud, for one. Loud and big. We used to go to my grandmother’s house all the time when I was little. Her living room was about the size of an average hotel’s lobby area, so it was about the only place the whole family could gather without needing to go out. Big family gatherings were pretty frequent, so I kinda just got used to being surrounded by a lot of noise.”
Honey chuckled. “Sounds nice, but you ain’t heard real noise ‘til ya’ve been to an Apple family reunion. Even out in the countryside we get noise complaints.”
“Well that’s just what happens when you get a big group together,” Moonlight cut in. “In my family, I have this aunt and uncle who would always try to out scream each other if they were left alone too long.”
“Yeah, but that’s still more than one pony,” Surprise added. “My dame likes to do this thing where she chugs a full carton of soda. When she burps, it’s deep enough to rattle bones.”
That got chuckles out of most everyone present, save one.
“Disgusting,” said Silver.
“Oh come on, Silver,” Surprise said, giving her friend a playful push. “Don’t be like that. Tell us something about your family.”
“There’s really nothing to tell. My family was always quite civil and dignified during mealtime.”
“Boo,” jeered Honey. “Tell a better story.”
Silver shrugged. “I would if I could. My family has always been well mannered. There is simply nothing to…” she trailed off, eyes widening in horror.
“Ah. Ya’ll jus’ remembered somethin’.”
“Spill.”
“Yeah. Tell us the story.”
“You know they’re not going to stop until you tell.”
Silver let out a long, tired breath and slumped in her seat. “Well, there was this… incident a few years back,” she began hesitantly. “My granddame has always loved shellfish, but they’ve never been terribly fond of her.” She licked her lips. “It was during a get-together with some neighbors that she noticed quite the delectable spread of crab. It started with just one, but she never had much in the way of impulse control. Most of us saw it coming. The rest of us heard the sounds her stomach was making. The only one who didn’t realize what was coming, was her. Unfortunately, by the time she realized and tried to excuse herself, it was too late.”
“She fart?” Plow deadpanned.
“If only,” Silver said, shaking her head with a look of abject horror on her face. “Whatever was in those damnable crabs, they’d turned my granddame’s insides into a biological weapon. We couldn’t clear the room fast enough. The unicorns amongst us tried to cast shields to keep the smell at bay, but they melted.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Moonlight asked, turning her head to one side while facing both of her ears towards Silver.
“You heard me. They melted. The fumes from my granddame’s backside were so corrosive that they actually eroded the magic in the shields, to say nothing of the wallpaper. The house had to be fumigated! And when all was said in done, the city actually passed an ordinance forbidding my granddame from ever eating shellfish again.”
Thomas wasn’t the only one snickering, but for some reason Silver decided to focus on him over the others.
“Oh, you can laugh, sure. You weren’t there! Your eyes didn’t feel like they were on fire while parents were screaming for their foals. In a single afternoon, my granddame made herself a living reminder to us all why most chemical weapons are outlawed.”
Even Luna had joined in the barely restrained mirth. “A reminder, perhaps, but nothing compared to the true reason such weapons are outlawed.”
All laughter and noise went dead silent, save for an odd sucking sound. Thomas turned his head, trying to find the source, but it seemed to be coming from all around him at once. With a wet sounding ‘fwt’ Thomas was reminded of something Moonlight had written in their story not too long ago. It was the sound of ponies’ anuses collectively puckering in fear, and it was making him nervous.
“There was this special plant that used to be quite popular among the minotaurs many centuries back,” Luna began, enjoying the looks of terror on her audience’s faces. “I will spare you the gory details, but to make a long story short, were it not for the expedient response of the medical staff and the good humor of the minotaur king, ponies and minotaurs might have gone to war, and it would have been Celestia’s fault.”
An uncomfortable silence followed. There was simply no response anyone could think to give to such a revelation. In time, Luna continued, barely restraining her amused grin. “Suffice to say, the plant was exterminated with much prejudice.”
Eventually, one pony worked up the nerve to speak first. “Are you buckin’ with us?” Honey asked.
Jona and Plow tensed. Honey had just accused the Princess of lying! What was she thinking? They didn’t know she had a death wish.
“What makes you say that?” Luna asked stoically.
“Jus’ that whole thing,” Honey said while gesturing wildly. “There’s no way that can be real. That’s jus’ some kinda urban legend, right?”
“If you doubt, I can recommend the book in the library for you to look up for yourself. All historical records refer to an incident believed to be caused by food poisoning. Yet, as you read, it becomes quite apparent how vague all the details are. Afterwards, no valid reason is given for why such a popular delicacy was so viciously destroyed. If you were the sort who believed in conspiracies, you might even believe that the histories were changed to protect all involved from mutual shame.” With a flick of her wrist, Luna stabbed her fork into one of the potatoes and plopped the whole thing in her mouth.
While the others were trembling at the alicorn’s implications, Honey did not feel the least bit deterred. “Fine. Tell me the book an’ Ah’ll go get it.”
“Honey,” hissed Jona. “You can’t be serious.”
“Ah can,” said Honey resolutely. “Ah’ve gotten a lot better with mah readin’. Ah even showed you.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” growled Jona.
“Now I’m curious. I think I’ll come with you,” Moonlight said, standing up from the table.
Honey blinked. “Ya mean it?”
“That I’m curious whether or not the self-proclaimed biggest ass in the realm is pulling one over on us? You bet I am.”
“Careful what you say,” Luna warned, her eyes narrowing dangerously.
This was it. The moment it all came crashing down. Jona and Plow knew it. The goddess had been pushed too far and outright challenged. She would now unleash her terrible and divine wrath upon them all. They could only hope the flames of her… wait. Celestia was the one who did the flame thing, right? What was a moon goddess’ wrath like?
“I never said ‘biggest’, for I hold no delusions about my size. Mine is the finest ass in the realm,” Luna said with a surprising level of regality, dropping at least a couple of jaws. “And I challenge you to prove otherwise.”
Surprise held up her hands. “Wait guys. Don’t you see what she’s doing?” She waited, but no answers came. “She’s trying to distract us, trying to make us forget about Celestia’s nasty nasty farts. We can settle this by just agreeing that obviously I’ve got the nicest ass in the room.”
“Moonlight, these potatoes you made are just to die for,” Silver asserted loudly, hoping to derail this conversation before it ran away with them. “A family recipe I presume?”
“Hold on a sec,” Honey called as she fled to her bathroom. “Ah’ve got some measurin’ tape in ‘ere somewhere.”
“Seriously?” Surprise asked incredulously.
“Sure as shootin’ Ah’m serious. We’re settlin’ this here ‘n’ now.”
“No. That part was obvious. I mean the measuring tape in the bathroom,” Surprise clarified. “That just seems like a really weird place to keep it.”
“Says the mare who keeps rubber ducks in her mane,” countered Moonlight.
“Duh. For rubber duck emergencies, silly.”
Silver sighed her exasperation. “Yes, Moonlight. Don’t you know anything?” Since resisting the madness had failed, there was nothing else to do but embrace it.
Thomas raised his hand like a kid in class. “Can I volunteer for book retrieval duty?”
“I am afraid not,” Luna said, dashing the young man’s hopes of escape. “If there is to be a contest, the winner must be selected on qualities other than size, otherwise we need not bother.” Her grin was confident and her tone was borderline boasting. “We’ll need judges.”
“Found it,” announced Honey as she came back into the main room. “Who wants ta go first?”
In the end, the results of the impromptu competition were inconclusive. Measurements were taken, but there was simply too much argument over which qualities should be counted, such as muscle vs fat. As for what qualities were agreed upon, there was no consensus to be had over a standardized metric. Afterwards, Silver started arguing that the ass measurements should be adjusted so that the shorter mares could have a fighting chance. Jona agreed, but no one could figure out how the math was supposed to work.
Amidst the confusion, Moonlight managed to duck out of the room unnoticed and return with the history book Luna had described. The events within were essentially the same as what Luna had described. However, the way the author had recounted those events seemed to implicate some unnamed party, rather than Celestia. Luna, naturally, was evasive about the whole thing. Then the ass arguments picked back up. Plow started insisting that the implicit exclusion of stallions from the competition was discriminatory, and Thomas did his best to blend in with his environment and disappear. One thing led to another, someone – who probably wasn’t Thomas – threw a banana cream pie at Surprise. The pegasus brought events full circle by complimenting Honey on her apple dumplings.
As for the potluck itself, everyone agreed that it was a smashing success and that they should try it again sometime.
Luna’s harem of three and the applicants were lounging around the Princess’ chambers, not really doing anything of note. Luna’s lack of any particular urges had allowed the makeshift family to just sit back and do whatever struck their fancy. Thomas and Moonlight were at their writing desk, keeping their voices low as they discussed and typed. Honey was taking advantage of the quiet by relaxing with her head in Luna’s lap while the alicorn tenderly rubbed her ears. Luna, meanwhile, was enjoying the gentle caress of combs as Silver and Surprise brushed her mane. Conversation was light, but didn’t cover anything major.
“Does anypony know any good work gossip?” Silver asked idly.
“Aren’t we a little old for that?” Thomas asked.
“If it’s good enough fer them Canterlot elites, its good enough fer us,” Honey declared tiredly, unwilling to relinquish her comfortable spot. “Besides, it’s all jus’ harmless fun, right?”
“Exactly!” Surprise chirped and tapped on the bed. “Come on everypony. Let’s get our gossip on!”
At Surprise’s beckoning, all assembled in the royal bed, the semi-official meeting place of Luna’s harem, where all important matters were discussed. Thomas and Moonlight shared a nonchalant shrug and ascended the bed as well. They’d hit some writer’s block anyway. They all assembled in no particular formation, legs crossed as they waited for the first brave sole to start, except for Honey who refused to relinquish her spot.
“Has anypony noticed that Celestia’s flanks seem to be getting… bigger?” Silver asked.
“You’ve noticed too?” Moonlight inquired excitedly. “I thought I was just imagining things.”
“Ya sure bout that?” Honey asked, stroking her chin ponderously. “‘Cause Ah could o’ sworn they was actually smaller from the first time Ah saw her.”
“Maybe she’s on a yoyo diet,” Surprise suggested. “Some ponies just can’t be happy with the bodies they’re blessed with,” she sighed in disappointment as she looked down at her own full figure.
“That’d be such a shame,” Silver said, though didn’t sound all that depressed.
“Personally, I don’t see what she has to complain about,” Moonlight added. “The way the papers talk about her, she could be plus or minus a hundred pounds and she’d still be praised as the sexiest mare alive.”
Honey grinned and cupped one hand over the side of her mouth. “Ya think Luna might be a bit sore bout that?” she asked in a loud whisper, earning a chuckle from the alicorn.
“I know Cadence sure is,” Surprise sang. “I heard from this one maid, that this guard overheard her telling Shining how she wishes her flank was as big as Celestia’s.”
“That’s going to be an uphill battle,” Thomas stated with wisdom beyond his years. “Celestia has more than a millennium of subsisting mostly on cakes and other sweets. She’s got her work cut out for her if she wants to compete with that.”
“Her plot might have its appeal,” Silver began, whispering conspiratorially as she looked around the room. “But if you ask me, I think Luna’s plot has the perfect blend of strength and give.”
“Well stop the presses,” Honey snarked jokingly. “Silver Bell has a thing for the Princess of the Night. How will we ever recover from such a shock?” Her words were met by a round of chuckles from the others, causing Silver to turn her nose up in a huff.
“Luna’s beauty is an objective fact,” Thomas stated matter-of-factly. “I’m certain someone somewhere even developed the formulas to prove it. However,” he looked around cautiously, meeting all the mares’ eyes, before continuing with a whisper, “we should be careful. I’ve heard it’s never a good idea to flirt with your boss.”
Luna raised an eyebrow, curious where this might go.
“Is that so?” Silver asked skeptically. “And where, pray tell, does this pearl of wisdom come from?”
“Human culture,” Thomas deadpanned. “Even ignoring the potential for abuse, like she might say she’s gonna withhold your promotion unless you eat her out-”
“Do we even get promotions?” Surprise asked.
“-work stuff tends to overlap with relationship stuff and things can be taken pretty personally,” Thomas finished.
“I see,” Luna agreed and nodded. “In that case, dearest Thomas, you would be wise to mind your eyes. If you have noticed this boss of yours,” she said cheekily, “then there is a chance that she has noticed you noticing her.”
Thomas’ eyes widened in faux horror. “You mean she might have caught me staring at her shapely boobs and butt while I was supposed to be working?” he asked. He held out his hands and grabbed onto an imaginary pair of hips, thrusting his pelvis upward so all knew what he meant, and earning some wry smirks in the process.
“Couldn’t really blame ya if ya did, though,” Honey responded with a smirk. “But yeah. If you’ve done it enough, odds are pretty good she’s noticed.”
“Hmm,” Thomas hummed in serious contemplation. “What do you think the consequences are if she finds out I’ve been ogling her voluptuous body and mistakenly,” he stressed, “assumes I’ve been imagining perverted things about her?”
“This is a grave matter,” Luna informed. “Have you been imagining perverted things about your boss?” she inquired in a deep sensual voice as a finger traced down her right breast.
“I never said that,” Thomas denied casually. “I’m just asking what happens if she assumes that’s what I’ve been doing.”
“You’d best be on guard then,” Moonlight warned, her voice shaking as if she were telling a ghost story. “I hear that the Princesses keep a secret sex dungeon where all the bad little ponies are sent to be… disciplined.”
“The one on the third floor in the east wing or the one on the fifth floor of the west wing?” Luna asked. “I have not ventured to the latter in ages, literally.” She smiled. “Has much changed?”
“They moved the east wing dungeon to be beside the royal masseuse,” Moonlight corrected and then anticipated the next question. “I asked why they moved, but the guard I asked just gave some rambling answer about acoustics of all things.”
Luna made a sound of understanding. “I am happy they fixed that.”
“I’m worried I might have an idea,” Thomas confessed, praying they wouldn’t ask him to elaborate on all the ways a sex dungeon could be used for ‘physical therapy’. And why does it make me feel better to hope this has something to do with tax evasion or something?
“Anyway,” Moonlight resumed. “They say once you go in, you never. Come. Back. Out.” She waved her hands dramatically.
Thomas donned a look of horror, even throwing in a quivering lip for good measure. “What happens in this secret sex dungeon that everyone knows is by the masseuse?” Even the mares leaned in, shaking in anticipation for the unicorn’s dreaded explanation.
“Well, you didn’t hear it from me, but,” Moonlight not so discretely looked around the room to make sure no unwelcomed parties were listening. “I heard…”
“Yeah?” Thomas asked.
“That in this room…”
“Yes?” Silver asked.
“On those dark and lonely nights…”
“Go on,” Luna encouraged.
“That the Princesses… they come in… and…” Moonlight inhaled, drawing out the suspense as long as she could. “They have sex with you!”
The mares and man all pulled back, cupping their hands over their mouths in horror.
“You mean that, for the harmless and purely innocent crime of staring at my boss’s sexy butt,” Thomas whimpered, “I might h-have to stick my dick into one of the s-sexy Princesses’ pony pussies?”
Moonlight nodded somberly, shaking and just barely holding back her laughter. “You might indeed.”
“Oh Thomas!” Surprise cried, protectively wrapping her arms and wings around him as he was pulled into a plush hug. “Say it isn’t so. Tell me you haven’t fallen victim to the allure of your alluring boss’s plot.”
Thomas struggled against the mare’s grip to keep his face from being smothered between her breasts. When he managed to sufficiently extricate himself, he took a brief look around the room before lowering his eyes in guilt. As he did, he wondered if someone would comment on him staring so intently at Moonlight’s groin, her pubic hair specifically. She’d trimmed recently and it looked nice.
“This is indeed a serious matter,” Luna warned. “Thy body is most supple and,” she licked her lips, “exotic. If any of the Princesses were to get ahold of thee, there can be no doubt that they will devour ye with their boundless lust.”
Thomas straightened up with new hope in his eyes. “But they would have to prove it, right?” His pleading eyes darted between his friends. “They would have to prove that I’ve been harboring lewd thoughts about watching my boss perform unspeakable acts with Moonlight while I let my hands explore both their bodies.”
The mares exchanged hungered looks. Their faces grew hot and bothered as they licked their lips.
“And I know the perfect defense,” Thomas proclaimed confidently. “Why would I want to fantasize about any other big-breasted mares when I’ve got this” he seized his arm around Moonlight’s waist and pulled her close, eliciting an adorable surprised squeak, “piece of orange candy all to myself?”
“All to yourself?” Surprise inquired as she crawled up to the unicorn, leaning forward until their noses were almost touching. The way her mouth was twitching suggested she was having a hard time keeping the smile off. “Moonlight. Don’t tell me you’re one of those… those selfish mares who hogs a stallion all to herself?”
“What?” Moonlight blinked and pulled back in shock. “I… I never… I’m not like that,” she insisted defensively.
Surprise flinched and backed away, ears splayed apologetically. “Sorry,” she offered with a shrug. “I thought we were still just fooling around, ya know.”
Moonlight gave a sigh and relaxed at the assurance. She even offered Thomas a smile and nod when she saw how worried he looked. However, the moment of awkwardness was short lived as the mare quickly bounced back into character. “To think,” she turned her head up in a huff, “my own friend would accuse me of such a thing just because my stallion is a terrible blabbermouth.”
“Blabbermouth?” Luna gasped, silently glad the game was continuing. “Then it is true. You are intending to hoard his stallion meat all to yourself, denying who knows how many unfortunate mares the opportunity to partake of its succulence.”
“Wow,” Thomas said in approval. “Impressive melodrama.”
“Thank you,” Luna beamed.
“And if I do?” Moonlight asked challengingly. It was her turn to give her mate a possessive yank, pulling him onto her lap as she crossed her arms around his chest. “He is my stallion. I may do with him as I wish.” She asserted as she waved her hand in exaggerated gestures. “If I say he should spend more time focused on his job and to stop imagining what it would be like to, and I quote, ‘stick his dick into the Princess’ pony pussy,’” she blushed heavily but kept a stern face, “then he should.” It felt so wrong to talk about Thomas like he was her possession. Such thinking was offensively backwards and not welcome in polite society. Even so, it still sent a thrill through her heart as she asserted ownership.
“Now, now,” Honey waved her hand down, still having not moved from her spot. “We can all agree that fantasizing ‘bout the Princess’ pony pussy, along with other parts o’ her body, is a bad ide-eep!” She yelped as Luna smacked the earth mare’s rump with her tail. Honey pouted up at Luna. This lasted until she grew bored with the Princess’ impenetrable poker face before continuing. “But ya can’t really expect to control him like that. That sort o’ thing just ain’t right no more.”
Thomas studied Honey’s expression. He then noted the way Moonlight’s pulse had accelerated. She was either fearful, he reasoned, or excited.
“He ain’t even a pony,” Honey asserted flatly. “Ya don’t even know what kind o’ control would even work.”
Thomas smirked at the mare’s practicality, reflecting on exactly when this game became so conspiratorial.
“Maybe you don’t know,” Silver added, leaving her words to hang.
“‘Sides that, ya don’t know what he’s capable of,” Honey continued, ignoring Silver. “He could be into some really weird things. For all you know, the next time ya try gettin’ a little frisky, he could turn the tables by, Ah don’t know, using his mouth on yer pony pussy or somethin’,” she tittered. “Pony pussy,” she said again, just for the sake of saying.
“Pssh. You fantasize too much,” Moonlight dismissively scoffed, really getting into this. She wasn’t the only one. All of the other mares watched her, anxious to hear how she would reply. “And while that is an enticing thought, I doubt I’d ever be lucky enough to end up with a stallion like that.” She tightened her grip around Thomas. “But even if he shows any kind of resistance, I’ll just have to try harder to… dominate him,” she concluded as she shot a wink down at Thomas.
Unwilling to sit for this, even if it was in such a comfortable lap with such perky breasts poking his back, Thomas retaliated against the mare’s declaration. “Poke.” Adjusting himself in her grasp, he poked the unicorn right in the nipple, causing her to squeak and loosen her grip, granting him more mobility. “Poke.” He poked her other nipple, but she had already braced herself for his attack.
“Poke.” Moonlight countered triumphantly as she pressed her index finger lightly into Thomas’ nipple. “Beat that.”
Thomas shuffled and twisted until he’d turned around in Moonlight’s lap. He looked into her eyes, staring at her with his neutral gaze while she stared back. It wasn’t long before he had made her fidget nervously, anxiously wondering exactly how he would meet her challenge. Without a word, Thomas pulled back his lips and exposed his canines for all to see in a toothy grin. He then clicked his teeth together as his eyes moved between Moonlight’s face and her chest. After the second click, she understood the threat. She released her hold on him and protectively cupped her hands over her breasts.
Luna hummed softly to herself as her gaze shifted between the conspirators and warring factions, waiting patiently for her opening. It was a strategy that had served her well many times in the past. Strike only after the enemy has fully exposed themselves.
“You wouldn’t dare!” Moonlight accused.
Thomas continued grinning at her. “Look at these pearly whites. Humans evolved to eat meat,” he hissed. “Let your guard down, and I might just have myself a taste of your mare meat.” He lowered his head and widened his grin in mimicry of some of his favorite villain smiles.
Watching him give his mare an almost comical grin, Surprise figured she had to say something before she burst out laughing. “I’d listen to him if I were you,” she warned Moonlight. “Take it from me. Once you’ve tried mare meat, you’ll never be able to stop.” She looked over to Silver, meeting the smaller mare’s eyes before licking her lips.
Moonlight’s eyes widened in shock. She’d been betrayed by her ally. A show of strength was needed, which began with a defiant pout. “If you do, I swear I’ll…” She pondered. “I’ll just have to sit on you,” she sneered, confident that her latest escalation would cause her opponent to think twice.
Thomas blinked lazily at his panicking adversary. “I’d like to see you try,” he retorted smugly.
Her bluff had been called. It was currently beyond her ability to sit on Thomas while he was sitting in her lap. It was theoretically doable, but that would require his compliance to not strike before she was ready. No. This would never work, unless… “Surprise,” she whispered as the pegasus perked up. “What say we share this prize? I’ll take the bottom half and you can have the top.”
The pegasus slowly craned her head to look at the human, giving him a smug ‘you’re in for it now’ look. “Interesting,” she said, never taking her eye off the ‘prize’. “But I get the bottom half. I’m pretty sure it’s my turn, anyway.”
Moonlight scrunched her face in frustration as her flicking tail signaled her annoyance. It was already hard enough to split the treasure, but to lose the coveted bottom half to boot… No. Compromise was a part of war. If she wanted to win anything, she’d have to settle. “Deal,” she reached out, taking Surprise’s hand in a shake to seal their alliance. However, just as they were leaning in, grinning manically in preparation of claiming the prize that stood/sat defiantly of their attack, the true enemy finally intervened.
“Shame on you.” Luna shook her head condemningly as she lit her magic and brought the human up to her, which the others were certain was against the rules. This left Honey’s snout distractingly close to his groin. “Shame on the both of you, conspiring against this helpless little colt.” She cooed as she roughly pressed her oversized palms into his cheeks, compressing his face and forcing him to pucker.
Feeling like a fish anyway, Thomas attempted to smack his kissy lips.
“He threatened my teats with his teeth,” Moonlight whined, upset at the loss of his warmth.
“And you threatened his face with your plot.” Luna said evenly. “Tantalizing as it may be, such behavior is inexcusable. I fear you’ll have to be… punished.”
“Two weeks dungeon?” Thomas suggested through his forced puckering. He’d have liked to do a better Lemon Grab impersonation, but this was fine.
“She’s the one, officer,” Surprise pointed accusingly at Moonlight. “This was all her idea from the start. Trust me.”
“And why would I do that?” Luna asked.
“Because, um, I’m the only one here who was a professional whorse before applying,” Surprise beamed. “That means I’m the most trustworthy.”
There were eventually nods of agreement all around at how such credentials made Surprise’s claim credible. Even Moonlight, betrayed as she was, was stumped to think of an argument for why being a professional whorse didn’t make the pegasus automatically more trustworthy. Whorses were supposed to be discrete, after all. Still, Moonlight didn’t like being ganged up on… not like this, anyway.
“If it please the court,” Silver cut in. “I request to be granted custody of the guilty party.”
Luna hummed thoughtfully. “On what grounds?”
“On the grounds…” Silver began, “that I learned this new way to tie knots and I want to experiment?”
“Experimenting is strictly for colleges,” Thomas pointed out, still floating in Luna’s magic. “Besides, since I’m the aggrieved party, I’m the one who deserves satisfaction.”
Moonlight frowned flatly. “I satisfied you just this morning.”
“Correction,” Thomas said, holding up his pointer finger while floating sideways. “I satisfied you. We both know you enjoyed that way more than I did.”
Moonlight opened her mouth to protest, thought about it, and then closed her lips, conceding the point.
Thomas smiled at his successful ploy. While he hadn’t actually been certain that Moonlight enjoyed what he did more than him, he’d made an educated guess based on how loudly she’d moaned. Either that or she just preferred to be punished by him over Silver. It was a coin toss, to be frank. “So this means I get to make the decisions, right?”
“Now hold on there,” Honey said, finally lifting herself up. “Why don’t Ah get a say in this?”
The man and other mares looked to one another, unsure of what she was getting at.
“Mah stallion’s clear on the other side o’ the city,” Honey explained. “Meanwhile, ya’ll been danglin’ this,” she gestured at Thomas’ groin, “in front o’ mah face like ya own the thing, ‘n’ that’s just mean.”
“The court concedes,” Luna declared authoritatively, gently shaking Thomas just enough to make his erection bounce. “That was indeed mean… of Moonlight,” she added quickly. “Shame on you.”
Moonlight puffed her lip out in an adorable pout. “Why is everypony ganging up on me?”
Surprise first answered with a glomp of the unicorn, then with words. “Because you’re just too cute when you make that face,” she cooed, rubbing cheeks with the smaller mare until she relaxed.
“All in favor of Moonlight being adorable when she’s all flustered?” Thomas asked, raising his hand.
“Aye,” the other mares declared unanimously, also raising their hands.
“All opposed?”
“Neigh?” Moonlight offered uncertainly.
“Slam!” Thomas said as he slammed his imaginary gavel down. “Motion passes.”
“Objection!” Luna cried indignantly. “Only the Princess may propose such motions. You lack the proper authority.”
Thomas folded his arms and scoffed. “Well I didn’t vote for you.”
Luna blinked, incensed by Thomas’ contemptuous dismissal of her station. “Thou dost not vote for Princesses.”
“All in favor of a democratic revolution to overthrow the tyrant?” Thomas declared, raising his fist in a show of strength.
“Oh Faust no,” Silver grumbled, burying her face in her palm.
“Aye!” Honey declared. “Power to the ponies.”
Luna blinked in shock at this unexpected turn of events.
“Fair trials for all,” Moonlight added, holding up a fist in solidarity.
Luna’s breathing grew heavy. If she didn’t act soon, she’d be dealing with a full on coup.
“Aye! Aye!” Surprise chirped. “Viva la revolution!”
Luna’s ears perked when she heard Silver’s sigh. “You too, Mistress?”
“Sorry, Pet,” Silver offered sympathetically. “But they’re speaking my language.”
Luna stilled herself and gave a solemn nod. “I cannot say I am happy, but you have my respect.”
“So unless my math is super off,” Thomas began, “then I’m pretty sure that makes five to one.” When he was met with nods of agreement all around, he turned to face the recently deposed diarch and gave her a wicked grin. “Get ‘er!”
“No. No!” Luna held out her hands defensively as the masses crept near, closing the distance with sadistic grins as they readied to pounce. She set Thomas down nearby for safety. “Noooooo!” But it was too late.
Honey, as the nearest, struck first. Luna’s outstretched arms gave the earth mare easy access to the alicorn’s wing and arm pits. She dug her fingers in deep, confident the larger mare could handle such tickling. The flyers struck next, with Surprise zooming overhead before banking a hard right turn. She collided with Luna’s back and forced the mare face down onto the bedding, all while digging into the alicorn’s other wing pit and nibbling at her neck.
Having nominated herself de facto commander of this revolution, Silver decided it would be best to stay out of the fight for now. Instead, she hovered just above the fray and carefully observed. Luna’s laughter was pained, but also had a mirthful melody to it as it boomed around the room. Silver had to pinch her own nipple to keep from losing herself to the siren song and focus on the battle. The revolutionary forces had the element of surprise – someday she’d forgive herself for that pun – on their side. However, the raw power of an alicorn was not to be underestimated and would soon turn the tide if not dealt with. She quickly scanned the field for their remaining troops.
After the initial attack, Thomas had been freed from Luna’s magical grip and had managed to crawl away before being crushed under the massive weight of the alicorn’s baby feeders. Moonlight, to the surprise of absolutely no one, was in the middle of checking over the human to make sure he was alright. None would begrudge her such concerns, but Thomas at least was able to keep his head in the game and reminded Moonlight of their commitment to the revolution.
“You take one side, I’ll take the other?” he offered, having caught the contagion of the other mares’ smiles.
Moonlight frowned thoughtfully as she observed. Tears were falling from Luna’s eyes, but she’d already turned the tables by catching Surprise by… surprise, and was tickling her with an exuberant viciousness. Time was of the essence.
“Hurry!” Silver urged from above.
Figuring that the bat was keeping her distance out of uncertainty, Moonlight decided to take command as the leader of the revolution. “I’ve got her sides!” she declared boldly and leaped over the others to straddle Luna’s back. “Silver! You and Thomas take her butt.”
“Her… what?” Silver asked.
“I’ll show you,” Thomas said as he waved the bat mare down. They took position behind Luna’s plush and ample bottom, straddling her thighs. Looking up, they were able to see Moonlight faring well with ticking the alicorn just below her ribs.
Silver reached down for her Princess’ tantalizing plot, but pulled back her hands in uncertainty. “I… Her butt is ticklish?” she asked with a whimper. She’d been in Luna’s service for months, playing with the alicorn’s body every chance she could get. So it was a little understandable that’s she’d be a little angry with herself for not realizing this sooner. The cries of laughter only added to her anxiousness.
“Gotta be careful about it,” Thomas instructed, trying to keep calm amidst the noise. “Like this!” He reached out and cupped his hands lightly around Luna’s backside. It was a small struggle to stop himself from humping and digging his fingers in. He wanted to hear the other joyous cry she made when he touched her butt, but that could wait until later.
“Sto-ho-ho-p!” Luna whimpered as she writhed under her concubines’ attack. Every instinct in her body screamed at her to get away, to find safety, to be anywhere but the place where Thomas was about to reveal her ultimate weakness.
“Gently,” Thomas said as he took a calming breath, drowning out the world around him to focus on what had to be done. A mare’s body had a myriad of erogenous zone to choose from, especially alicorns, who embodied the traits of all the tribes. Thomas had learned that mare butt were universally sensitive, which he’d proudly exploited many times in the past for mutual carnal delight. However, back when it was just him and Luna, he’d also learned of a secret buried under the sensuality, a way to touch a mare’s butt that earned a cry other than sexually.
It was hard to keep his hands steady against all this writhing. It would be harder once he actually started, but he had to do it. “Keep her still,” Thomas called.
“Aye!” the pegasus, unicorn, and earth mare unanimously called back and set to hold Luna tighter than ever.
Grinning, Thomas carefully set his hands into position just above the thin hairs of Luna’s rump. Breathing to steady himself, he gently pressed his fingers down. “Gotta touch her just soft enough to only brush the hairs,” he instructed. Gently, carefully as he could, the human pushed his fingers up along Luna’s rump, going against the grain of her fur.
Luna slammed her muzzle down and buried her face into the bedding, smothering her scream before it could shatter any eardrums. Not only would doing so have ruined the mood, news of the resulting trip to the infirmary would have inevitably find its way to Celestia, leading to a merciless teasing far more agonizing than what Thomas was currently doing to her. So she magically lowered her own volume and took what was coming.
Luna’s butt was now wagging as frantically as her tail, putting Thomas in mind of another kind of rocking motion he commonly associated with the mare. Regardless, after covering the vast expanse of Luna’s generous backside, Thomas pulled back and resumed his petting from the bottom up. This earned another muted cry from his victim as he shot a smile towards Silver.
Silver smiled back. “Like this?” She adjusted her hands to mirror Thomas’ and matched his petting. Based on the way Luna was now frantically kicking her legs in protest, the bat figured she was on the right track.
“Yeah, but go slower,” Thomas informed as he repeated the motion. He guided his fingers along the mare’s backside with the precision of a masseuse. Every so often he’d run his hands in a serpentine motion to maintain the severity of the stimulation, which only increased her efforts to throw her captors off balance.
Silver beamed excitedly as she followed suit. “Oh Pet. I can hardly wait for our next session together,” she panted. “I hope the knots hold when I bring out Spanky.”
The mention of Silver’s favorite torture stick caused Luna to redouble her resistance. It got to the point that Thomas had to grab something to brace himself and keep from being thrown off. However, another sudden buck of Luna’s hips lost him his balance and Thomas grabbed one hand onto her cutie mark and the other plunged a fair distance into her clenched butt cheeks.
Luna’s body tensed as her back arched upward. Seeing the way the alicorn’s nethers were quivering, Thomas and Silver only barely had enough time to hold up their hands to block their faces.
Luna is susceptible to tickle orgasms, Thomas noted as a bit of alicorn juice ran over his closed eye and down his cheek. He gave it a brief lick, savoring the sweet flavor. Good to know.
**********
“Now that I have conquered Luna,” Silver began from atop her throne, her face shadowed in the terror of her newfound power, “all shall bow before Equestria’s new bat pony queen! Mwahahahaha!”
The ‘throne’ in question was actually Luna’s butt. Luna laid on the bed, head down and ass up in the air in the traditional mounting pose. After her devastating and total defeat, the former Princess was simply too tired to offer any resistance. As it went, the mare doing the mounting had managed to squeeze her tight little butt into the alicorn’s grand canyon. To make things funnier, Luna’s ample rump cheeks also made for pretty good arm rests as the new queen sat with her head held high, looming down on her subjects.
“Weren’t we fighting for democracy?” Thomas asked, laughing tiredly. “Because I’m pretty sure we started this for democracy.” He and the others had thoroughly tired themselves out in their tickle assault. It took all the strength they had left just to keep from falling over. The sight of Luna’s supreme plot held high in presentation while Silver’s legs conveniently concealed her privates only added to the perpetual smile that was stapled onto everyone’s faces.
“You started? Pssh!” Silver scoffed. “It was I who daringly-”
“Ah’m pretty sure Moonlight ‘n’ Thomas were the only ones givin’ orders,” Honey informed tiredly. She was resting her head against Surprise’s shoulder. “Heh. Never thought Ah could get so winded from a little ticklin’.”
“Don’t care,” Moonlight stated flatly and yawned. She was resting against Surprise’s other shoulder. “Too tired. Revolution later.”
“Speak not thine blasphemy!” Silver proclaimed authoritatively. “The revolution has ended, and I have emerged supreme!” She gestured animatedly as she spoke.
“Easy there, Bell,” Thomas said. “Take it down a notch.”
“Bell? I know not this Bell you speak of,” she said, practically spitting her name out like it left a bad taste in her mouth. “I am none other than Silver… uh… Essence. Yes. I am Silver Essence, embodiment of elemental purity!”
Thomas looked between the mare on the throne who looked mad with power, to the tired mares beside him who looked like they might fall asleep at any moment. Then he looked to the throne. “Somehow I get the feeling this is all a microcosm of why everybody trusts the alicorns to rule.”
“More or less,” Luna allowed over her shoulder. She too yawned as her head rested against a pillow.
“Silence!” Silver shouted and gave her ‘throne’ a sharp slap to the behind, making it flinch. “Furniture does not speak, nor does it engage in subversive discussions with the unruly masses.”
Thomas stared flatly between Silver and her ‘throne’. “So how long is this gonna last, exactly?”
Luna hummed thoughtfully. “Until she abdicates the throne of her own accord, or-”
“Nevaaaaah!” Silver proclaimed with more ham than any pig farm could provide.
Luna scowled and narrowed her eyes on the mare currently using her as furniture. “Or she is forcibly deposed. Whichever comes first.”
A deep, snorty snoring caught Thomas’ attention. “Well it looks like the revolutionary army is indisposed, so I guess I’m on my own.”
“Hah! Fool!” Silver laughed. “What chance do you have against me, ME, the supreme ruler of all Equestria?”
Thomas tiredly smacked his lips together. His body felt heavy, meaning brute force was out of the question. “Any chance you’d take a bribe?”
“Cheh,” Silver scoffed. “What could you possibly offer that I, Silver Essence, cannot simply take for myself?”
“Luna’s secret porn stash?”
Silver’s ears shot up and even the other mares stirred from their slumber. “… wat?”
Luna’s eyebrow gave only the faintest twitch of interest, but she maintained her composure, curious to see where this was going.
“Oh yeah. Guess you didn’t know,” Thomas explained idly. “Back when it was just me and Luna, we actually tried our luck at drawing our own porn. It wasn’t too good at first, but Luna’s line work really took off after a while. I told her to draw the kinds of things she’d want to see, and let me tell you,” Thomas said with a devilish smirk, “the stuff that mare drew was naaaaasty.”
Silver gulped and licked her lips, her fingers anxiously digging into her arm rests. “W-where is it?”
Thomas grinned serenely up at the mare, ready to nock her off her high horse… Clever, he thought to himself. “We couldn’t simply destroy it after all the work we put in,” Thomas explained. “But Luna didn’t want such sloppy work getting out to the public. So, after talking things out, we agreed there was only one place in Equestria secret enough.”
“Where?” Silver asked, leaning forward.
“Somewhere secure enough.”
“Where?” Silver asked more urgently, leaning further forward.
“Somewhere not even Celestia would think to look.”
“Where?” Moonlight, Honey, and Surprise asked as one.
“A place no mortal eye has beheld in centuries.”
“Where?” the four mortal mares asked, their expressions demandingly anxious.
Luna had to stop herself from asking as well. She needed to know where Thomas was referring to, wondering idly if perhaps this hypothetical place, in fact, did hold some kind of treasure. However, she also noticed how far forward Silver was leaning. She smiled at how precarious the little bat’s position had become.
“Right under everyone’s noses,” Thomas continued, delighting in the power his words held over the mares. “Literally in your case.” He indicated the mare atop the ‘throne’.
Silver blinked and quickly looked around. “Where!?”
Thomas shrugged as if the answer should have been obvious. “Up Luna’s butt.”
Immediately Silver hopped down, spun around, and pressed her hands into the ample cheeks. She pushed them aside as far as they would go and leaned forward. She neared her target, eyes sparkling in wonder until her muzzle was less than an inch from Luna’s wrinkled star. The taste of alicorn ass had already filled her mouth by the time she opened it, ready to make some kind of profound declaration.
However, whatever improvised poetry Silver had planned would be forever lost when Luna farted. It was a low, prolonged, and thunderous rumble that sent ripples across her considerable backside. Silver immediately fell onto her back, coughing and gagging from the burst of poison that went down her lungs. Her hands were around her throat, looking like she was trying to strangle herself as tears ran down her burning eyes.
Thomas and the others watched with mixed emotions as the bat mare writhed on the sheets. Their expressions were utter fascination, but mixed with horror and, to a lesser extent, humor. The fart had, figuratively, come right out of nowhere, the surprise mixed with Silver’s explicit pain meeting the fundamental criteria of comedy. Even so, the harem dared not move an inch, too frightened to relinquish the imagined protections of their spectator status.
Still on her knees, Luna pulled herself upright. She popped her back and gave her wings an experimental flap. Her tail swished, fanning the scent around. Luna folded her wings back and looked over her shoulder to the so-called revolutionaries and would-be usurper. She beamed a wicked, sadistic smile. “Such is the fate of all who dare betray the Princess of the Night,” she purred, her voice dripping with a cruel lust.
The other mares flinched back, hands covering their noses. Thomas would have done the same, but his male fascination with foul odors demanded he see what the fuss was about. He tried not to make it too obvious as he nasally inhaled. The answer came swifter than expected and he flinched back, unable to hide his nostalgic smile. Smell is the strongest sense tied to memory, and this one brought the human back to his childhood when his parents would take him on long road trips. There was that distant, rancid odor that would sometimes rear up. His dad called it a skunk and Thomas never had the desire to verify. He merely accepted that somewhere, probably upwind, a skunk had used its God-given defense mechanism on some unlucky bastard and he was merely experiencing the diminished after effect.
Thomas tried to subdue his chuckles for the sake of politeness to the ladies, though. As he was well aware, pony senses were much stronger than those of humans. A part of him was still curious at what these mares must have smelled, but that part was overshadowed by raw amusement at their discomfort. Even their dagger glares condemning him for his mockery at their expense only added to his amusement. Words popped into the humans head; words that he felt perfectly surmised these previous moments and thus demanded to be shared.
“You guys are so weird.”
Cold, vengeful silence followed suit, with ambiance provided by the still gagging Silver. At least Luna thought it was funny.
“What about this one?” Moonlight asked as she switched between the dresses held in her magic. “Or this one? Does the V neck look a little tasteless?”
“I like the red one,” Thomas said from across their room as he slipped on a pair of black slacks, although getting so dressed up and going without shoes still felt strange. “It hugs your body in, from what I’ve been told, all the right places.”
Moonlight rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d say that,” she dismissed as she turned back to the mirror and resumed nervously switching between dresses.
“Wanting to make a good first impression?” Tali asked from the bed as her legs swung idly off the edge. “‘Cause I think you’re a little late on that front.”
“Oh hush,” Moonlight shot back. “You’re no help at all.”
Talon chuckled to herself. “You want help? How about whichever dress is easiest to take off? That’ll probably come in handy.”
Moonlight paused in her alternations as she did a double take on her dresses, apparently giving Talon’s words some thought.
Thomas furrowed his brow as he looked at his own clothes in the same way. It was a simple set of a vest and dress slacks, attire which most would consider quite suitable for a date, but it was all admittedly constricting in a lot of ways. “We didn’t actually agree to sex tonight, right?”
“Not outright,” Moonlight said distractedly as she dismissed most of her dresses to her closet, leaving her with only two options left. “It’s supposed to just be a friendly outing, but you never know.”
“Aye!” Talon crowed. “You’ll never know, but I might.”
**********
“Aye, indeed,” Firestorm agreed as he focused intently on the viewing crystal. The only sounds in his dimly lit office were the cracking of flames in the distant hearth and the faint scribbling of a pencil against paper as his spell recorded everything he saw and heard.
Normally he didn’t mind that his tracking spell only worked on Thomas, especially since the human’s role allowed him to be present in just about all interesting events regarding the Princess. This, however, was one of the few times he was tempted to risk exposure with a second tracker.
“Nah,” he said to himself. Between the unicorn and the bat mare, he figured both had received proper training in detecting whenever a spell was cast on them, Moonlight through her guard training and Silver from being drilled in how to fend off rival nobles. Talon wasn’t around as often anymore, but she had probably gone through her own detection training, so that avenue was probably closed anyway. He could always try with the two applicants, but it’d be a waste if one or both of them didn’t make the final cut.
“Just gotta be patient. After all, the human’s my real target, here.”
**********
With her dress chosen, Moonlight quickly applied a modest amount of eyeshadow and red lipstick for added flare. The knee-length red dress was sleeveless with a low v neck that showed off a modest amount of cleavage, and slits cut high on the hips to both show off her cutie mark and allow ample movement. Thomas straightened out his black slacks and semi-formal vest. Given that they were going out with Surprise, he’d opted for the less formal attire, which would allow him to move more easily in the likely event that movement was necessary. She and Thomas then stood before the mirror to give themselves one last once over as Talon watched.
“You guys,” Talon sighed as she strolled over and pressed herself between the pair, wrapping her arms over their shoulders. “You are just too cute sometimes.”
“Duly noted and appreciated,” Thomas said flatly as he patted the wrinkles out of his vest.
A knock at the door startled all to attention.
“Probably for you,” Talon said as she stepped back. “Best not leave your lady waiting.”
“Thanks for stopping by,” Moonlight said as she set a hand on Thomas’ back and gently pushed him forward. “We’ll have to do this with you next time.”
“Sure thing,” Talon agreed casually. “Or, ya know, you could just bend over and let me have my way with you right now.” She snickered as her eyebrows bounced suggestively. “I’m honestly fine with either.”
Moonlight shot the griffon a warning look over her shoulder as Thomas shook his head in good humor. The mare decided to just let it go, breathing deeply as they arrived at her door.
Thomas opened the door cautiously, angling himself behind the door in case someone was in the mood for tackles. Instead, his jaw dropped as he beheld Surprise. The pegasus was wearing a strapless aqua dress with the same slits as Moonlight cut along the sides. The dress hugged her body very nicely, seemingly redistributing the mare’s pudge to make it less noticeable. Surprise’s mane was limp and partially hiding half her face. Her makeup was light overall, though her ruby red lips were delightfully eye catching as she struck an alluring pose.
“Well hello,” Surprise greeted in a deep, seductive voice.
Both Thomas and Moonlight gulped in noticeable shock and disbelief. Was this really Surprise, the same airheaded mare prone to flights of fancy and bottomless giggles? It was almost too much to fathom; that is until Surprise’s face split into a wide grin and a torrent of giggles burst from her lips.
“Oh my gosh!” she squealed, clutching her belly. “You should see the looks on your faces.”
The realization that they’d been had was only compounded by the chortles from Talon in the background.
Thomas was the first to recover. “Well played,” he congratulated as his eyes roamed over her sexy body.
Surprise bowed cordially. “Well thank you, Sir Thomas.” As she did, her mane pomphed back to its usual fluffiness, assuring all that the world hadn’t been turned topsy-turvy just yet.
“You’re gorgeous!” Moonlight blurted, only to catch herself too late.
Surprise smiled appreciatively at Moonlight’s words. “Oh! I got something,” she declared as she started snapping her fingers in thought, much to the confusion of her dates. “Uh… pot calling the kettle black!” she professed, only to trail off uncertainly. “Did I say it right?”
Thomas smiled good naturedly and took the mare’s hand, kissing the back of her knuckles. “Technically correct, but not the best timing,” he explained.
“Oh!” Moonlight realized as a blush took her cheeks. “Well, thank you very much.”
The date seemed off to a pretty good start.
**********
“So your clothes are really that strong?” Thomas asked as he and the mares rode in their carriage.
“Nope,” Surprise said perkily. “It’s the same basic durability spell I’ve got on mine.” She gestured at her dress. “Costs a little extra, but it’s well worth it.”
“The guards have a more advanced version on our armor,” Moonlight explained. “With it, it’s like the plates are three times as strong, but without the added bulk.”
Thomas nodded along. Just because he couldn’t use magic didn’t mean he couldn’t find it fascinating. “Sounds like the spells Luna has on me to keep me warm and stuff. Don’t those spells need recharging?”
“Essentially,” Moonlight confirmed. “The frequency of the reset depends on the nature of the spell.”
“You could also get an energy crystal,” Surprise chimed in and motioned to a tiny red gem embedded in the fabric below her cleavage. “You can shape a crystal to hold a longer charge, but even that needs to be replenished eventually. I heard some wizards can enchant the crystals to draw in ambient magical energy, but that still takes forever to recharge.”
Thomas smiled as he considered. “Sounds like unicorns have a built in safety net against unemployment.”
“Basically,” Moonlight agreed. “So long as there’s enough of a charge left, just about any unicorn of a moderate skill level can recharge the spell. Although, if the magic runs out entirely, the spell usually unravels and you have to get it completely recast all over again.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like the other tribes don’t have safety nets too,” Surprise pointed out. “There’s always clouds that need pushing or seeds that need planting somewhere. And if ya can’t find any,” she whispered, “it probably means you’re not looking hard enough.”
“What about bat ponies?” Thomas asked. “What’s their safety net?”
Moonlight tapped her chin in thought. “A little of column B and C.” She smiled affectionately at Thomas’ concern. “Bat ponies are most closely related to pegasi, giving them a fair amount of weather magic. However, they also borrow a little from earth ponies with nature magic.”
“I heard they’ve also got their own, special kind of magic,” Surprise added, her voice shaking with spooky overtones. “A dark, mysterious magic that they share with no pony outside their tribe.”
Thomas caught himself leaning forward at Surprise’s words, intrigued by the prospect of some new category of magic that existed outside his understanding of the show’s canon. “Really?”
“I don’t know,” Surprise admitted with a shrug before snorting her laughter.
“Don’t go spreading rumors like that,” Moonlight chastised before looking at Thomas. “Bat ponies have been plagued by misunderstandings like that for generations. Stupid ponies fear the dark magic that no pony has ever proved even exists.”
“Oh come on,” Surprise dismissed. “I heard that story from a bat colt I knew in primary school. He used to love telling us about all the spooooooky things bats would get up to when no pony was looking.”
“And that makes it better?” Moonlight asked chidingly.
“Sounds like it,” Thomas spoke up. “Being ultra-sensitive about stuff might seem like the polite thing to do, but it actually just draws attention to the problem in the worst possible way. Trust me. Race baiting was a big problem back home.”
“But I thought humans didn’t have tribes?” Moonlight queried. “You just came in different colors.”
Thomas sighed his disappointment. “That’s our race. Folks back in the human country thought they were just being moral by drawing attention to all the past crap everyone did to each other, but they oversimplify it so that everyone’s just left with a victim complex and a warped sense of reality. Say, for example: you think the most qualified person should get the job. You end up getting called a racist because it’s assumed you’re talking about one particular group getting some imagined privilege over the others. ‘Ists’ and ‘isms’ are so overused back home that they’ve lost just about all meaning.
“Best thing I know of is to do what your friend was doing,” Thomas said to Surprise. “Laugh at it. Just relax and give everyone the chance to prove we’re all equally assholes.” Thomas’ philosophizing was met, surprisingly, by light applause from his audience. So he did the only rational thing he could think of: standing in the carriage and taking a bow.
The trio continued to talk amicably about magic. Surprise proved quite knowledgeable and managed to catch Moonlight off guard with a few tricks and tidbits she’d learned from her unicorn friends. Thomas mostly limited himself to light commentary as he listened. He’d always enjoyed reading the backstory of fictional worlds and these mares’ explanations felt quite similar.
“Ya know, all this talk about different kinds of magic got me thinking,” Thomas interjected in a moment of quiet. “Well, in some of the stories I read back home, a lot of authors put together these really complex power systems. I remember this one guy mentioning how important it is with this stuff to keep the different kinds of powers balanced so no one character can be super overpowered or anything.”
“Makes sense,” Moonlight nodded.
“Well, I was thinking about this one anime, Hunter x Hunter, where you had this one guy who was able to use his aura to make this kind of rubbery gum that he could use to keep his arms in place, even after they’ve been chopped off.” Thomas smiled his amusement at the mare’s discomfort, Surprise more so than Moonlight. “A lot of the characters in that show had creative powers like that. Anyway, on that thinking, I was wondering if there was a spell or enchantment to make armor grow.”
“Grow how?” Surprise asked, enraptured in his explanation.
“Well, let’s say a guard’s been captured and tied up, but they’ve still got their armor on. Wouldn’t it be useful if, say, the armor had a spell on it to make it grow out, like a couple inches, just enough to break whatever’s tying them up?”
“You know, that’s not a bad idea,” Moonlight admitted.
“Bet that crooked crook would’ve really liked something like that,” Surprise chirped. “Why don’t the guard have something like that already?”
“Mass alteration is tricky business,” Moonlight explained. “A lot of non-unicorns ask why the guards don’t just make ourselves bigger and squash all the bad guys. Simply put, it takes a lot of magical power to defy the laws of the conservation of mass. Making an inanimate object grow is hard enough, but it only gets even more complicated when you’ve got living things. One miscast and you’ve got a pony whose a hundred feet tall but with a regular sized heart.” She shook her head. “It’s not pretty.”
“But I’m just talking about the armor,” Thomas clarified. “And you wouldn’t need to do very much for very long. You’d just make the armor,” he made a bloating motion with his hands, “swell out a bit for just a few seconds, long enough to break whatever kind of binding’s they’ve got, and then it goes back to normal.”
“But then there’s still the power requirements,” Moonlight reminded. “Crystals can only hold so much energy and the kind the guard use aren’t cheap.”
Surprise turned to Thomas, silently waiting his rebuttal.
Thomas furrowed his brow in thought. “What if you just use the same crystal?”
Intrigued, Surprise turned to Moonlight to hear her expert take on the matter.
“What?”
Beaming excitedly, Surprise switch back to facing Thomas.
“Yeah. I admit I don’t know squat about how magic actually works, but what if you just cast multiple enchantments on the same armor, like you and Luna do with me,” he suggested, motioning to himself. “Like, you’ve got the default durability enhancement which is on all the time, but what if you had the option to switch to different kinds of enhancements if you really needed them?”
Surprise was about ready to bounce out of her dress with how much excitement she was feeling. She could only hope Moonlight would keep this idea train going.
“That kind of spell weaving…” she began thoughtfully. “If they’re not all active at once, I suppose switching between them might be feasible.”
“Sounds like somepony’s gonna need to make another stop at the patent office,” Surprise practically sang.
**********
“Hot damn!” Firestorm cheered as he double-checked to make sure his notes had gotten all that. “This kid just never fails to impress.”
**********
When they arrived at the restaurant, Surprise had elected to pay before they even sat down. The waiter, a bat stallion, arrived and they quickly gave their orders and drinks. Both mares had ordered alcohol.
“Not sure how this sounds,” Thomas began, “but have you guys noticed that there’re more bat ponies around lately? Not just in the castle, but Canterlot in general.”
“Now that you mention it,” Moonlight trailed off as she looked around the restaurant. “I suppose there are a few more of them around these days.”
“Eight percent,” Surprise chirped. “Preliminary census data shows the bat pony population of Canterlot has increased by eight percent in the last five months, bringing them up to ten percent of the total population.”
Surprise’s dates were stricken momentarily dumbstruck by her informative words.
“How…” Thomas began.
“I read, silly,” Surprise said with a dismissive shrug as she pulled out a newspaper from under the table and pointed at an article. “See? ‘Bat Ponies Migrating to Canterlot,’” she read.
“Huh,” was all Thomas managed to say. “Guess I should keep better track of current events.”
“I also talked to Silver about it,” Surprise continued. “She says that ponies in Nocternia are finallyconvinced that Luna’s return is the real deal, so more and more have started coming by to, as she put it, do their duty.” She snorted a laugh. “Ha. Duty. Never gets old.”
Before the others could reply, Surprise’s expression went stiff, save for her twitching right ear. She quickly excused herself and dashed across the restaurant, leaving only a faint gust in her wake that barely even made the candles flicker. Before anyone had even realized what happened, she had caught a waitress and her tray in mid-slip, averting a very nasty spill. The surrounding patrons, after realizing what had happened, all applauded their approval. Thomas and Moonlight, however, were momentarily struck speechless. The white mare gave a quick bow of acknowledgment before returning to her dates.
“Sorry about that.” Surprise patted down the wrinkles of her dress, only to pause as she noticed the way her dates were looking at her. She pursed her lips, worried she might have caused some sort of cultural faux pas without realizing. “I’m really really sorry, but I couldn’t just let her fall.”
“Don’t be,” Thomas laughed, finally clapping his hands. “That was awesome.”
Surprise sighed her relief. “Thanks. It would have been super awkward if I screwed things up after all the stuff we’ve been through. I really like you guys.”
“And we like you too,” Moonlight affirmed. She reached across the table and grabbed Surprise’s hand and gave it a soft, assuring squeeze. “If anything, I’m even more impressed with you. How did you move so fast, anyway?”
Surprise giggled and shrugged. “Eh. When somepony needs help, I just feel the need to do my part, you know.”
“I do, but I’ve rarely seen such altruism practiced so… swiftly.”
“Aww, shucks.”
Food arrived shortly after that, leading to a momentary halt in the conversation.
“You know, you remind me of somepony,” Moonlight said after finishing up her meal.
Surprise’s words were muffled, what with her cheeks puffed out like that of a chipmunk’s. At the other mare’s disapproving look, she swallowed and let her tongue flop out with a satisfied sigh before giving a proper reply. “Do I?”
“I’ve been thinking about it ever since we first met,” Moonlight explained. “There’s just something about you that’s just so… familiar.”
Thomas chuckled softly. “You haven’t figured it out yet?”
Moonlight cocked her head in question. “You noticed too?”
Thomas rolled his eyes. “Ponyville,” he hinted, but Moonlight’s confusion remained. “Run for your lives?”
Moonlight’s lips formed an o as it finally clicked. “The pink one!”
“Pink’s a weird color for a pony,” Surprise commented idly. “Don’t know why, but I’ve always thought that pink fur was kind of silly.”
“Funny you should say that,” Thomas commented as he mentally braced for the mare’s reaction. “Because in Ponyville, there’s an earth mare named Pinkie Pie. She basically looks exactly like you, just with different colors. Her mane and tail are the same kind of poofy as yours and you even act kind of similar.”
“Ooooh!” Surprise voiced her interest. “Is she a pegasus, too?”
“Earth pony,” Moonlight answered. “Though there is this one pegasus mare who was even more full figured. I think her name was…” she trailed off.
“Fluttershy,” Thomas finished. “Is Talon still writing her?”
Moonlight chuckled. “I think she’s actually been paying the mare visits from time to time.”
“Ooooh!” Surprise said again as she leaned forward, pressing her breasts to the table. “Sounds spicy. Do go on.”
“Where’d you hear that?” Thomas asked.
“Tali told me,” Moonlight replied simply. “It was a couple nights ago, I think, while you and Honey were working out.”
Thomas nodded. “Alright. Was wondering if the two of you were sneaking around, too.”
Moonlight scoffed and flipped her chin up. “As if I’d ever sneak around,” she snorted. “If I like somepony, I don’t go lurking in the shadows as if there’s something to be ashamed of. I confront them directly.”
“Yeah. Of course you do,” Thomas agreed, not sounding very convinced.
“After the Princesses spend months of work contriving scenarios intended on bringing about that outcome,” Surprise stated matter-of-factly, much to the surprise of her dates. “What?”
“I don’t recall telling you that story,” Moonlight said.
“No.” Surprise shoveled another forkful of food in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. “Silver really likes to gossip.”
**********
After their meal, the trio’s next stop was a dance club, which was reached with minimal stumbling. The lights were dimmed and the beats were low as ponies of every sort in every state of dress took to the floor. Some were alone or in groups, dancing to the beat or doing some weird interpretive stuff. A familiar mare with an electric blue mane and red shades was the DJ.
Surprise’s mane had poofed out to almost double its usual fluffiness as she dragged her dates onto the floor where she began coaxing them to join her. Her moves were wild, but not entirely uncontrolled. That was Thomas’ impression, anyway, when he noted the way she was shaking her rear at him. Moonlight quickly joined in with much more reserved moves, but quickly got into the spirit of the freeform dancing.
Thomas was the last to catch on, suddenly struck by an onset of self-consciousness. More than a few ponies in the club were staring at him and his dates. Though none of their stares were malicious in any way he could detect, it still left him feeling uncomfortable. Then, before he realized what had happened, a hand had grabbed hold of his wrist and yanked him into something soft and warm. He looked up to see Surprise smiling down at him. Peeking over his shoulder, Thomas saw Moonlight dancing behind him.
As the mares continued to move, keeping him between them at all times, it didn’t take long for the human to realize that the mares had deliberately sandwiched him between them to act as living shields against prying eyes. For a moment Thomas felt downcast at the mares’ protection of him. It hurt to think they felt the need to walk on eggshells around him. But then, as if reading his mind, Moonlight motioned for him to look over at another group of ponies.
It was two stallions surrounded by five mares. Thomas couldn’t tell if they were all together, but they’d definitely grouped themselves into a similar formation as himself with the stallions sandwiched protectively between the mares. Suddenly curious, Thomas glanced around further to study the groupings more intently. Mares danced about with one another or alone with no clear formation in mind. Mare and stallion pairs featured the mares often pressing themselves against their stallions, occasionally giving dirty looks whenever other mares tried to intrude. There were a few stallions traveling alone or in pairs, but they rarely stayed lonely for long before being surrounded on all sides by mares seeking to win their attention.
“So this is normal?” Thomas asked over the music as he gestured between the two mares.
“You bet!” Surprise spun around, squatted low, and began aggressively twerking at Thomas, causing her vast booty to ripple as it shook. “You’re all ours, tonight, and everypony’s gonna know it.”
“Come on, love,” Moonlight encouraged as she ‘not’ accidentally pressed her breasts against Thomas’ head. “Cut loose a little.”
Thomas smiled back and soon joined the mares’ movements. He decided to rotate between the two, alternating between who he was dancing with. Then, as he was accustomed to, he was struck by worry and turned to face Moonlight. “You sure this is alright? I mean, aren’t you still on duty?”
“Thankfully no,” Moonlight replied. “I talked to the Lieutenant the other night, just to be sure, and he confirmed we’d be getting some extra support tonight.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “See that black stallion back there?”
Thomas looked and momentarily lost his footing as he caught sight of the bat stallion. “The one doing the,” he hesitated, “pinwheel with his…?”
“He’s an undercover guard,” Moonlight explained matter-of-factly. “Just one of a few who’ve been following us since we left the castle.”
“Oh good,” Surprise said in relief. “I was worried we were gonna have to take him and the rest out back and teach ‘em a lesson about stalking without permission.”
There was an undeniable menace in Surprise’s voice that, once more, caught Thomas off guard.
“I was wondering if you’d noticed,” Moonlight said. She approved Surprise’s threatening posture. It showed she was taking the protection of their stallion seriously. “Though I have to wonder what stalking with permission looks like.”
**********
The sun was just poking over the horizon as the trio staggered tiredly to their carriage. Surprise splayed out over an entire seat, using Moonlight’s lap as a pillow. At the same time, feeling a bout of playfulness, Thomas sat himself down upon Surprise’s bottom, thus putting himself nearly at eyelevel with Moonlight.
“This was fun,” Thomas said as he playfully bounced on Surprise’s rear, looking far too pleased with himself as he did.
“Here here!” Moonlight cheered quietly as she stroked her hand through Surprise’s fluffy mane, earning a contented coo from the white mare.
“Oh yeah,” Surprise sighed. “Definitely doing this again.”
Feeling her throat go dry, Honey swallowed loudly as she made the effort to knock on the door to Luna’s chambers. She’d been here so many times already that it felt a little awkward to knock, almost like asking permission to enter her own house. But tonight was different. Tonight she was a mare asking for a date as part of the first formal steps in courting and joining a herd.
“Coming,” Luna’s melodic voice replied from the other side.
Honey breathed heavily as she glanced down at herself. Her dress was a simple orange with green highlights, a circular cutout for her cleavage, and a skirt that hung down to her knees with holes cut for her cutie marks. She wore her swankiest pair of cowboy boots and her curly gold mane had been tied back in a braided ponytail. She wasn’t normally the sort to fret over appearances, as her herd noted more than once back in their apartment, but she’d insisted that this was a special case.
“Relax,” Silver said gently. “You look beautiful.”
Honey gave the smaller mare an appreciative half smile. “You ain’t so bad yourself, sugar.”
“Oh, this old thing?” Silver gestured down to her own gown in modesty. It was a relatively simple ocean blue strapless dress that completely covered her cleavage. The slits cut in her thigh-length skirt was reminiscent of the strips of fabric used in their loincloths, only much wider. The tightness was far from flattering as it hung loosely from the smaller mare’s body. Her mane and tail had been combed shiny smooth and indigo horseshoes adorned her hooves. “It is nothing to write home about.”
“Still looks cute on ya,” Honey asserted.
“It is meant to be more functional than fashionable,” Silver clarified. “I am here to simply help make things go as smoothly as possible.”
Honey chuckled, catching the less than subtle implications.
“In a way, I am more of a chaperone than anything else.”
“Yer still comin’ with us on the date, though,” Honey reminded. Gently she bumped her hip to the smaller mare and touched tails. “Far as Ah’m concerned, that makes ya part of it, too.”
“I suppose,” Silver agreed, straining to keep from giggling as her tail lingered against Honey’s for slightly longer than necessary..
The door clicked and Honey felt her heart jump into her throat as she stared into the gateway to her future. Even knowing what was coming; Honey still had to do a double take on what she saw. The mare on the other side was an unusually tall sky-blue unicorn with a violet mane and tail done up in curls. Her starry indigo dress clung to a body that, to any casual observer, would have been the spitting image of Luna’s. The Princess could, no doubt, have adjusted her figure to something different, but Honey figured that, despite seeing her naked already, the not-alicorn wanted her date to have a good impression of what she was getting into… possibly literally.
“Pr-er-Blue Sapphire?” Honey stammered, causing the other mare to giggle cutely.
“Blue will do,” she said as she offered her hand.
Collecting herself, Honey lightly took the offered hand and kissed ‘Blue’s’ knuckles. “Well, ain’t you just the bell of the ball.”
Luna furrowed her brow in confusion. “I admit I am not familiar with this idiom.”
Honey shook her head with a gentle smile. She stepped forward, lightly touching her breasts to the bottom of Blue’s as she gazed up into the taller mare’s teal eyes. “It means Ah think you’re pretty.”
Silver gave a soft hum of approval, but otherwise said nothing. Despite the earth mare’s beliefs, Silver knew that this date was primarily between Honey and Luna. She was along primarily to deal with her Princess’ more carnal urges, should they arise.
“Aww,” Luna cooed as she patted Honey’s head affectionately. “That’s so sweet.”
Honey was left momentarily flabbergasted by Luna’s response. It was sweet, a little maternal, but also slightly condescending, like her date was treating her like a foal. “Thank ya kindly, Blue. But could ya not… pat my head like that while we’re out?”
“Oh dear,” Luna gasped, sounding genuinely worried. “Do not tell me I have already caused offense.”
Honey could swear her stomach turned as she listened to Luna’s worry. It just felt so wrong to tell the Princess to not show her affection, but this was something that needed to be said. “You want us ta be equals, ta date me like ya would any other mare, right?”
Luna nodded eagerly.
“Then please don’t treat me like I’m some foal with a crush.” Her words were as gentle as possible while still being just stern enough. It was a careful balance, but Honey felt reasonably certain she’d pulled it off.
“Oh,” Luna said, realizing her faux pas. “Then how about this?” She leaned over, closing the distance between her face and Honey’s. The earth mare was stunned, her body rendered temporarily immobile as Luna blew a gust of cool air that tickled the green mare’s cheek. This was followed up by planting her soft, pillow-like lips just below Honey’s jawline for a longer than average kiss. Honey squeaked softly in her throat. She eventually pulled back and smiled down at the green mare. “Better?”
“D-don’t know,” Honey stammered and offered her other cheek to Luna. “M-maybe one more, just ta be safe?”
Silver chuckled to herself, optimistic of how this date was starting.
**********
Honey groaned in want as she sat in Luna’s lap. The disguised Princess had made it quite clear that she had an appreciation for the green mare’s earthy scent and insisted that no cushioned seat could compare to the softness of her thighs. Even if Honey was willing to argue the point, she lacked the ability as Luna’s hands snaked their way into her dress to caress her body, making her moan. This left Silver to fidget and whimper in envious want as she watched from the opposite seat, her only consolation being Luna’s insistent hoofsies.
Pressing her nose into Honey’s mane, Luna inhaled deeply, emphasizing just how much she was enjoying the mare’s scent. She then exhaled just as heavily, sending chills down Honey’s body as her neck was pelted with the alicorn’s hot breath.
“So tell me, my scrumptious little apple,” Luna cooed, easing up on her teasing. “What exactly does your herd think of your lessons thus far? It occurs to me that we never got around to discussing that in our last encounter.”
Honey squirmed in place, though her movement was still partially limited by Luna’s hands. “They’re, uh, really supportive.”
“Supportive?” Luna asked, somewhat disappointedly. “Are they not curious of the mysterious wiles of their long-lost Princess?”
Honey chuckled. “A little, but they know stuff’s on a need-to-know basis.”
“That is good to hear,” Silver affirmed politely.
“Surely they have asked thee some questions?” Luna pressed.
“Well, yeah, but mostly about when Ah plan on bringing ya’ll over for a nice, family dinner. Ya know, returnin’ the favor.”
“A fair enough inquiry,” Luna agreed. “So?”
“So?”
“So when do you plan on inviting us over for dinner?” Luna’s words were expectant, insistent. The simple act of spending time with the families of her concubines was yet another of the simple joys she had missed out on for far too long. “The potluck was most entertaining and I would love to see them again.”
“S-soon enough,” Honey stammered as her body writhed underneath Luna’s hands. “Ju-jus’ gotta get through this so we, ya know, know where we stand.”
“Where exactly do we stand?” Silver asked as she continued her epic battle with Luna.
“Ah don’t follow,” Honey admitted.
“Your views on being in both the harem and the herd,” Silver answered. “I have spoken a little with Celestia’s concubines on the matter, but I’m curious on your personal views as well.”
Honey hummed thoughtfully as Luna eased her molesting assault, likely just as curious. Eventually she settled on an answer. “Ah guess it’s like havin’ two herds, in a way. At least that’s what it’s felt like courtin’ ya’ll. Thomas asked the same thing not too long ago. Mostly we talked ‘bout the differences between humans ‘n’ ponies, but he seemed extra curious on if Ah had any issues with divided loyalties ‘n’ such, but Ah told ‘im Ah didn’t.”
“Thomas once made the same inquiry and I gave him much the same answer.”
“‘Tis difficult for most outsiders to grasp, but those within the harem understand it, emotionally if not intellectually,” Luna informed. Her words were not that of a teacher giving a lecture, but more akin to a priest giving a sermon on spirituality. “‘Tis a drive nearly on par with the satisfaction one takes from fulfilling one’s cutie mark. Destiny shapes all of our lives, and while it does not demand blind compliance, it does behoove us to listen when a higher power offers us guidance.”
Honey breathed deep as she listened. As a pony, she had always thought of destiny as something common and even a little mundane, almost like cutie marks: a big deal when absent, but things just sort of fell into place when they became part of one’s life. Thinking about it now, though, Those within the harem understand. Those were Luna’s words.
Reflecting on them, Honey thought back to her younger years. “When Jona, Plow, ‘n’ Ah finally hitched up, our family ‘n’ friends were so glad fer us. Back then, mah younger self would’ve called me plum crazy fer even thinkin’ ‘bout bein’ part of two separate herds. Mah younger self would’ve asked why the two couldn’t jus’ merge ‘n’ become one big proper family.”
“And now?” Luna asked. “How does older Honey compare to her younger counterpart?”
Honey snorted. “Well, besides bein’ much more o’ a mare these days,” she gestured down at her figure, making the other mares chuckle, “older me knows better, Ah guess. Ah understand the technical of it; that you alicorns got special needs ‘n’ preferences, but you also gotta deal with all kinds o’ political crap that just mucks things up. Regular herds jus’ don’t work for ya, so ya make do with the secret weirdness of the harem. More ‘an that, though, Ah guess Ah understand the feelin’s of it. Like Ah told Thomas, Ah can love Jona ‘n’ Plow as mah herd family, mah parents ‘n’ siblin’s as mah natal family, and…” She paused, swallowed, and licked her lips before looking Luna right in the eye. “Ah can love Luna ‘n’ the harem as a separate, weird kind o’ meaningful harem family. Not sure how, but it jus’ makes sense.”
Luna was breathing heavy now as she and Honey stared deeply into one another’s eyes. No words were spoken, but they did breathe each other’s breaths.
Those in the harem understand. After much naval gazing, it finally clicked in Honey’s brain. The force of it hit her with what she imagined to be the weight of a certain indigo alicorn. If Ah understand, does that mean…?
“Why do you ask, Silver?” Luna inquired, breaking Honey of her reverie.
“I’ve just been thinking about family, lately,” Silver admitted. Honey’s words, rustic yet charming as they were, still had a profound nature to them. “To be honest, I never put much thought into a herd of my own. I was always so certain that I would end up in Luna’s harem that nothing else seemed to matter as much. In hindsight, I can see how that was terribly naïve of me, focusing so much on a dream that I nearly let life pass me by.” It was a hard thing to confess, for it skirted the bat’s secret fears that her prayers wouldn’t be answered, that she wouldn’t be allowed the chance to carry on the family legacy and serve their beloved savior.
“I am happy you see it that way. It shows great maturity,” Luna said softly. “While I do appreciate the faith you have shown in me, it pains me to think of your predecessors who shared in that faith and devotion, but at the cost of their own happiness.”
“Guess we’re all lucky things worked out the way they did,” Honey offered as she craned her head back and touched her snout to Luna’s. “Hard ta think of a better word fer where Ah am now.” She adjusted herself in Luna’s lap for emphasis.
Luna’s breath caught in her throat. “Please refrain from doing that, dear Honey.”
“Please?” Honey asked back. “Why do you get to touch me all ya want but Ah can’t have any fun of mah own?”
“Because,” Luna said with a gentle firmness as she pressed her lips to the mare’s ear. “If you provoke me, I will not be held responsible for what happens to that pretty dress of yours.” Luna finished by slapping her hands down on Honey’s thighs, right where her cutie marks were beneath her dress.
Honey gave an affirming squeak and the ride was allowed to continue in relative peace.
**********
The restaurant was by far the least refined eatery Luna had eaten at since her return, but that wasn’t to say it was cheap. Wild Ropes was, unsurprisingly, rodeo themed with the tables arranged around a small arena in the center. The wait staff dressed like cowponies, the furniture was decorated with a classic rustic look and a heavy emphasis on browns and tans, and the barbeque aromas filling the air instantly made all guests’ mouths water. Yes, Wild Ropes was unrefined, and Luna could barely contain her giddy excitement at it all.
They had reservations near the edge of the arena and were seated quickly enough. However, Luna seemed much too anxious for Honey’s liking. More than once the earth mare had tried asking her disguised Princess what was wrong, but she repeatedly dodged the question, only asking when their orders would be taken as she stared intently eyed her menu. Silver seemed to realize what was wrong, but was also reluctant to explain in such an open setting. In time the waitress arrived and took their orders. Not a second later Luna bolted for the nearest bathroom, lifting Silver off the ground as she carried the bat behind her.
“When ya gotta go ya gotta go, Ah guess,” Honey said to herself as she eyed her surroundings, puzzling over why Luna had dragged Silver along. “Maybe she’s shy about strange bathrooms?” she suggested to herself. “Though the way that mare took off, you’d think she had to… oh. Oh!” It finally clicked in Honey’s mind. They’d done all that teasing in the carriage and Silver said her dress was functional, after all. Honey felt her ears go hot as she did everything to not imagine what the two must be doing.
It was difficult.
There’s silencing spells, right? She inevitably wondered after a sufficient amount of time had passed. Ah guess they could get a stall, though Ah don’t imagine that’s very comfortable. Maybe… Maybe Silver sits on the toilet while Luna lifts her dress? That seemed plausible, but didn’t account for why Silver had put such emphasis on her own dress. Maybe they both strip down, Luna’d have ta stand, and she’s holdin’ Silver upside down while they… Honey cut that line of thought short by biting down on her own thumb. Her herbivore teeth didn’t break the skin, but the pain helped to clear her head. It wouldn’t have been necessarily wrong to fantasize such things, even if she weren’t a concubine applicant, but her arousal would likely bother the restaurant’s other patrons.
“I hope you did not miss us too much,” Luna announced on her return.
“Aw, nah,” Honey assured as she tucked her bitten hand under the table. Her eyes quickly scanned both mares as they retook their seats. At first she couldn’t spot a single hair out of place, their dresses lacked any noticeable creases, and they smelled perfectly clean. As Honey readied to chastise herself for just assuming what her friend and Princess were getting up to, her ear flicked as she heard Silver’s grunt. It was a pained huff as the bat mare carefully, oh so carefully, lowered herself into her seat, only to finish with a pained hiss as she settled into the chair. Honey couldn’t help but smirk at the familiar sight, recalling the last time her plot got a good rutting. “What about ya’ll? Have fun?” she asked knowingly.
Silver had the decency to blush at being found out so easily, but Luna just gave a chipper smile, looking like she didn’t have a care in the world.
“Silver,” Honey began. “About what you were saying earlier about not havin’ a herd.”
“Yes?”
“Well, has that changed?”
Silver pursed her lips in thought. “I do not believe so, no.”
“Why not?” Luna asked.
Is she asking because she wants me to have my own herd? Silver wondered. She knew most of Celestia’s concubines had their own herds, but it was, as she’d seen, equally acceptable for them to fully devote themselves to their Princess. “I suppose I am still adjusting to life in the harem. While there’s no doubt in my mind that my dame would be pestering me to start herding properly, I just don’t see it happening any time soon.”
“As is your right,” Luna said as she placed a supportive hand on Silver’s back. “Though I must confess a little disappointment.” It was a hard thing to admit. Luna knew full well Silver’s sense of duty would compel her to do whatever she thought would please her Princess, but that wouldn’t do at all. If Silver was to join a herd, it had to be for love, not a sense of obligation.
Damn it! Silver winced at Luna’s admission. It still hurt to even think about disappointing her Princess.
“It is for the foals,” Luna elaborated with a concerned smile. “The harem offers my sister and I many pleasures of family, including foals. Moonlight was raised as a niece to ‘Tia, and I confess my own desire to know the joy of motherhood once more.”
“Oh,” Silver said simply.
“Do not think I am trying to pressure you,” Luna urged firmly. “For that is the last thing I want to do. If you are to have a herd, to have foals of your own, it should be for yourself and your stallion, once you find one,” she added. “Trust me. Political unions are rarely happy ones.”
Silver sighed in relief, grateful for her Princess’ wisdom.
“Ah know one thing, and its tha’ foals won’t be a problem on this front,” Honey announced proudly, unprepared for the swift swiveling of heads and pivoting of ears as the full and undivided attention of her dates fell upon her.
“You mean… you!?” Silver gawked.
“Not yet, but it’s happenin’,” Honey stated certainly. “We agreed that Jona’d carry our first, since she’s our lead, but after that it’s open season! We’re Apples and we intend ta do our part ta strengthen the clan.” She turned a beaming smile up to Luna. “An’ when that happens, Ah’d be honored ta bring them around ta meet their Auntie Luna.”
In the blink of an eye, Luna had firmly grabbed Honey’s chin and held her in place. Honey tensed, her heart hammering in her chest as Luna slowly inched towards the mare’s face, a playful smirk plastered on her lips. Luna’s face was nearing closer by the second, taking up more and more of Honey’s field of vision. Her scent was heavy in the earth mare’s nostrils. She licked her lips in anticipation, silently screaming at herself for not using more lipstick as her gaze focused on Luna’s own luscious lips. Silver found herself on the edge of her seat as she leaned forward, eyes focused on the ever shrinking space between the mares’ faces. Then, when their faces were mere millimeters apart, the cruel and villainous Luna veered to the right and lightly pecked Honey on the cheek.
Luna giggled softly as she pulled back. It was always such fun to tease ponies. However, instead of finding the green mare shocked or saddened, the Princess beheld a pair of fiery eyes glaring daggers back at her.
Honey’s hand snapped up like a striking snake and clasped firmly around Luna’s chin, halting her retreat. “An’ now ya done did it,” she said coldly. Without further ado, the earth mare lunged forward and forcefully took what had been denied her.
Luna had had many first kisses in her life, as should only be expected. She’d known and loved many ponies, treasuring the various firsts she shared with each of them. When it came to kisses, the first lip-on-lip contact was almost always a tender affair. More often than not her lovers, despite any past brashness, would feel terribly intimidated when it finally came time for intimacy. Luna would have to take the lead and slowly encourage the timid pony into letting go of their inhibitions and just giving in to the moment.
Apparently Apple Honey never got the memo for proper first kiss protocol. All of Thomas’ lessons on tender control had been thrown out the window as she passionately, fiercely kissed Luna’s lips. Her tongue forcefully pressed into Luna’s mouth, catching the alicorn off guard as her tongue was dominated by the intruder. However, Honey’s surprise was short lived as Luna, the far more experienced mare, readied her counter attack.
Silver ‘did not’ stare slack jawed as her beloved Luna was momentarily dominated by the upstart earth mare, though she did feel a flare of anger at the mare’s impertinence. She ‘was not’ on the verge of drooling when Luna turned the tables, employing her own earth mare strength on her opponent and put her on the defensive. And she most certainly ‘did not’ lick her lips in want when Honey somehow withstood Luna’s seeming overwhelming force, locking both mares in a temporary stalemate as the two started aggressively using their hands to feel one another’s bodies. Some ponies at nearby tables stared at them, however, and Silver ‘in all likelihood’ did try to shrink down into her seat to remain hidden. Thank Faust for illusions!
Their kissing match came to an abrupt halt when the waitress arrived with their food. Luna regained her composure almost instantly, politely thanking the mare for their meal as Honey and her disheveled mane struggled to regain her balance. Then, when the waitress was out of sight, Luna took Silver in her magic and raced back to the bathroom.
Regaining a bit of lucidity, Honey idly wondered why Luna had waited for the waitress to leave, yet didn’t pay a second thought to, as she estimated, the four dozen ponies at nearby tables.
This time, on their return, the pair of mares did not look so prim and proper. While there was no odor to be detected, no pony who saw their disheveled states could doubt what they’d been up to. Both were even limping a little as they retook their seats.
“Blue,” Honey said evenly.
“Honey,” Luna replied with equal calm as she clasped her hands together. “You do have my gratitude, though. I cannot confess enough my anticipation at seeing the little darlings.”
Honey gulped. Damn it! Something about the way Luna looked at her made her want to drop everything, go home to Plow, and make him rut her until she couldn’t walk for a week. Double damn it! Her heat was still a ways off, meaning she’d have to wait a bit before she could fulfill her oath. Feeling frustrated, the apple mare decided to focus her sudden surge of energy on more constructive pursuits, like putting a pampered Princess in her place.
The announcer spoke up, signaling the start of the rodeo show, but the mares paid it no mind.
“Ah asked ya ta treat me like an equal, so Ah’d be a shame of a mare ta not give as good as Ah get. Yous pulled a dirty trick on me, so Ah’ll tell ya somethin’ mah gran’pappy told me once,” Honey explained, turning her hayseed drawl to full power and smirking at the way it made Luna fidget. “Mess with an Apple, ya get the horns.” The threat, while poorly constructed, spoke for itself.
“Now hold on!” Silver began, feeling quite irate that anypony but her would dare to speak to the Princess like that. “I’m not sure that’s-”
Luna raised her hand, instantly cutting the bat mare off as she stared down at her aggressor. She was still taller than the earth mare, even while in her disguise, but that didn’t stop her from making herself look as large as possible as she sat across from her. A pair of blurred, nearly invisible wings sprung out from behind her in a show of dominance. When Honey did not back down from the display, Luna tilted her chin up and smirked approvingly back at the green mare. “Challenge accepted.”
And so it came to pass that, through the duration of dinner, instead of watching the show while sharing polite conversation like normal ponies would, the two mares went to war. A tail whip to the bum when she wasn’t looking here, followed by dropping ice down the other’s dress there. It was an utter bloodbath as the two mares never ceased impishly grinning at each other. Silver was not at all pleased with this turn of events, and that wasn’t just because of all the times she’d been caught up in collateral damage.
“The two of you are acting like foals,” the bat chastised.
“Verily,” Luna bubbled, either not hearing or ignoring Silver’s tone as she kicked at Honey’s shin. “Most exhilarating, yes?”
“Not the word I would use,” Silver seethed.
“Aw, don’t be like that,” Honey said apologetically as she flicked one of the beans on her plate, hitting Luna square in the eye. “Aw yeah!”
There was a thud beneath the table, followed by Honey’s eyes growing to the size of saucers as she gripped desperately to the table. After a moment, she started moaning softly as her face sported a dopy grin. Confused at the way the two were moving in their seats, Silver decided to peek under the tablecloth to investigate. There she found Luna’s hoof prodding between Honey’s legs, only to drop the tablecloth and go back to eating, muttering many words of disapproval. As much as the little bat loved Luna, the overgrown, oversexed immortal could be so frustrating when she was worked up like this.
Somewhere down the line, the mares tired of their game and decided to watch the tail end of the show as they wrapped up their meal. Honey did her best to answer all of Luna’s questions, describing the many different techniques for lassoing and emphasizing the importance of reading and anticipating the bull’s movements.
“I wish to try,” Luna declared with subdued enthusiasm.
“Pardon?” Silver asked.
“I wish to try riding a bull,” Luna elaborated with a foalish grin. “It sounds like fun.”
“I am sorry, Blue,” Silver said evenly. “But I do not think they allow-”
“There’s the mechanical one,” Honey cut in and pointed off to the side.
A number of ponies in varying states of sobriety had gathered around a large, mechanical bull, laughing their asses off as the latest rider was hurled several feet backwards.
“Verily!” Luna proclaimed, almost tipping into Royal Canterlot Voice territory as she stood. “Come friends. Let us partake of the-” Luna was cut off by Honey grabbing her wrist and giving her a sobering look. “Ahem. What W-I mean to say is…”
“Let’s go ride the bull?” Honey finished for her.
“Yes! That!” And the two walked hand in hand to join the crowd. Silver followed close behind, hanging her head in exasperation. It was terribly infuriating to watch Honey’s countless improprieties and not speak her mind. She told herself that these two needed to bond on their own, that insisting that Luna be treated like the Princess she was would more than likely spoil the mood. The point was to create a companion for Luna who wouldn’t walk on eggshells around her, somepony with whom Luna could be herself. It hurt just a little for Silver to think that she wasn’t enough, but that feeling was quickly suppressed as unwarranted insecurity. Ponies had herds. Ponies needed herds. And right now, Luna needed a herd where a mare like Honey felt comfortable enough to be as brutish and uncouth as she saw fit.
Taking one last breath to steady herself, Silver found solace in the idea of making it up to the Apple mare at a later date.
There was no real line, as anypony feeling confident was free to jump in after the last player dismounted. Honey took the first try, boasting that she was an expert and they deserved to see a pro at work. A red mare set the timer and Honey was tossed this way and that.
“This is… ah!” Honey stammered as she was tossed about. “… a lot different from the – whoa nelly – the bulls we had back home.” In the end, the proud green mare managed to last the full thirty seconds before the bull sent her flying, right into Luna’s arms, where the two shared a brief nuzzle.
Silver sighed in acceptance as she watched. As much as this was not her venue of choice, it was still nice to see her beloved enjoying herself with her future concubine. As she watched the two staring into one another’s eyes, she knew the pretense of this being a test had dissolved entirely. The decision had been made and all that was left to do was wait.
Luna rolled her dress up and pushed up her nonexistent sleeves as she readied for her turn. Unsurprisingly, the mare’s beauty earned more than a few wolf whistles from the audience, much to her delight and Silver’s silent agitation. The timer was set and Luna was very nearly thrown off on the first good buck, causing her dates to tense in preparation for catching her. However, as Honey and the crowd shouted words of encouragement, the alicorn felt emboldened enough to see this through to the end. Alas, when the bull finally threw her skywards, she wasn’t quite able to make the thirty second mark. You wouldn’t know it by how the smile refused to leave her face, though. She’d set out to try something new and had a blast in doing so.
Even Silver let out a most unladylike cheer at Luna’s accomplishment, much to her immediate regret as Honey looked down upon her with mischievous eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Honey said nothing as she hefted the bat up over her shoulder. Silver’s struggles and words of protest were ignored as the larger earth mare carried her over to the bull and sat her down upon it. “Lowest setting,” she said to the pony at the controls. “She’s new.”
Silver was ready to flap her wings and dismount the moment Honey’s hands left her form. In her mind’s eye, she imagined her family stumbling upon her in such an uncouth setting and disowning her. Her mood was not helped by the jeers from the audience: calling her too small. She kept her composure, though. These ruffians didn’t deserve the satisfaction of their words affecting her.
“You can do it!” Luna cheered excitedly, her melodious voice drowning out all others. “I have faith in you.”
Ultimately, Luna’s enthusiasm proved too much for Silver to bear and she nodded her consent. The timer was set and the bull began to buck, Silver couldn’t hide her disappointment at the lack of action. Sure the bull looked like it was moving to the same degree, but it all just seemed lacking as her body was lightly tossed about. “Is this the best you have?” she called out in challenge. “Feels like somepony’s giving me a piggyback ride!”
Feeling proud of her friend, Honey nodded and turned to the operator, ready to tell her to turn things up, only to hesitate when she saw the stunned look on not only her face, but those of the audience. “Uh, this is the lowest settin’, right?”
“Yes,” the operator said with a nervous smile. “Same as it’s been all night.”
“What!?”
“Yeah,” the operator shrugged as she watched Silver’s expression turn from boredom to shock at the revelation. “It’s been on level one the whole night. We only crank it up of ponies can last the minute markers.” The timer beeped. “Like now.” Without thinking, the operator mechanically pulled the necessary levers to reach the next level.
Honey turned to Silver, awestruck at how the bull’s bucking seemed to double in intensity. While the bat was initially caught off guard by the sudden increase in intensity, looking momentarily like this might be the end; she adjusted her grip and was soon smiling as she secured herself.
“Whoa!” Luna cheered, bouncing up and down in excitement as her enthusiasm quickly spread and the rest of the audience joined her cheer. “Go Silver!”
“Yeah Silver!” “Ride it, little bat!” “Show that bull whose boss!”
Not one to disappoint, Silver flashed a toothy grin and nodded her acknowledgment as her competitive side took hold. “Alright then! Show me what you’ve got!”
The bull operator nodded her agreement, an impressed grin parting her lips as the machine beeped once more and she turned it up to level three.
When Silver refused to be dislodged, ponies all around threw their Stetsons at her. She caught one and began waving it wildly overhead as she hooted and hollered to the crowd’s cheer. Level four came and the tiny bat was forced to bring both hands back down. The Stetson slipped through her fingers as she was becoming increasingly less sure about her grip. Alas, level five would prove to be the end when Silver was sent straight up into the air and nearly hit the ceiling. The bat thankfully managed to remember her wings, stopping herself in midair and descended back down with a graceful glide to the cheering uproar of the crowd.
Silver’s moment in the spotlight, basking in the praise of these earth ponies in recognition of her greatness, was short lived as she saw two very large and concerned mares charging right for her. She was scooped up in Luna’s arms as Honey checked over her body for any signs of harm.
“Hay on a hamster wheel!” Honey declared in pride as the two mares began walking away with their passenger. “You got some teats on ya, filly! Ah ain’t never seen no pony ride a bull like that.”
Silver sat up as straight as she could in Luna’s arms. “Thank you kindly, Honey. It was… surprisingly enjoyable.”
“Most certainly!” Luna proclaimed through barely contained giggles. “This was quite the exhilarating evening.” Her eyes roamed lazily over to Honey, where upon she gave a contented sigh. “Your selection of venue was delightfully exotic.”
“Ain’t no thing,” Honey said with a beaming smile. “Just glad everypony had a good time.”
“Oh, I most certainly did,” Luna said with a deep, sensual purr as she walked hip-to-hip with Honey, batting the mare’s tail with her own.
Apprehension appeared on the earth mare’s face for only an instant before being replaced with a confident and challenging smirk. “Oh reeeeeealy?”
Luna giggled sweetly and pressed her lips to Honey’s. It was relaxed, not as rough or passionate as their earlier kiss. It wasn’t a kiss of lust, but one that spoke of contentment and acceptance, of affection, the sort of kiss mares sometimes shared before or immediately after bucking and agreeing to herd together.
Silver watched and cooed contentedly. Luna had had fun, and it was all thanks to Honey doing as she pleased. Recalling her earlier frustrations at the mare’s uncouthness, Silver realized that, in fact, this had all been for the best. Honey had approached this date from a stance of honesty and sincerity. She’d chosen a venue she believed to have best represented who she was and what kind of upbringing she’d had. Without a hint of shame or reservation, she’d pulled Luna from her comfort zone and gave her a new experience that they both could share and treasure. It was just like the mare had said all the way back in her interview, of wanting to give Luna a taste of homegrown apples to break up the monotony of all the fanciness. All in all, the bat would have to say that this night was most productive, and that she would (not) be paying future visits to this establishment.
“Easy now!” Thomas warned from his spot atop Surprise’s shoulders as she stumbled through the castle halls. His attempt to sound authoritative faltered as the mare’s contagious laughter just wouldn’t let up, making it impossible for him to not smile. “N-not so fast,” he chortled.
“D-don’t drop him,” Moonlight said through gasps of laughter as she followed closely behind the white mare, arms outstretched and magic on standby. “He’s, *hic* fragile.”
“Not fragile!” Thomas countered with a grin. “Though I am the only one here who can pass for sober.”
“H-hesh wight,” Surprise slurred.
“So are you, but that’s beside the point,” Thomas deadpanned, only for another burst of laughter to follow from all three.
“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Thomas agreed.
“We needsh ta… ta… give *hic* him ow keesh.”
“Keys for what?” Moonlight giggled. “You own a chariot?”
When Surprise’s only response was a series of unintelligible slurs, Moonlight levitated Thomas from his perch and conscripted him into helping her carry the mare back to her room.
“Seriously! How much did she drink?” Thomas asked flatly, though he continued to smile.
“I didn’t think that much,” Moonlight chuckled.
“Somepony had fun,” a guard hooted.
“No kidding!” Moonlight said back as she adjusted the mare on her back.
“You doing alright?” Thomas asked.
“We have seen her fly, right?” Moonlight wheezed. “I’m certain of it.”
“Um, yeah?”
“So why in Faust’s name does this pegasus weigh as much as a damned earth pony!?”
“Woopsh!” Surprise said whimsically. “Fergotch.” And her wings started to flap, not enough to lift off the ground, but enough that much of her weight vanished off her lifters. “Better?”
Thomas smiled as he shook his head. “Yeah. You’re a good girl.”
“Yaaaaaay!” Surprise cheered softly as she was carried along.
“Ya know, this is a lot like a scene from Up,” Thomas spoke.
“Haven’t seen that one,” Moonlight replied.
“Haven’t sheen up in yearsh,” Surprise slurred with an odd bit of pride.
“Well, there’s this scene where these guys have to get a house to the other side of a cliff side. It’s supported on balloons, but they can’t get up inside to steer, so they just tie it to themselves with ropes and carry it.”
“Hear that, Surprise?” Moonlight asked, jostling the mare to make sure she was paying attention. “Thomas just compared you to a blimp.”
“House!”
“Whatever.”
“Nuh uh.” Surprise shook her head with drunken conviction. “He definitely shaid housh!”
“There, see,” Thomas pointed out. “I said housh.”
Eventually they made it back to Surprise’s room. After frisking the mare for her key, only to find it wedged between her breasts, they pushed the door open and practically threw her onto the bed. Her wings popped out, allowing her to gently float back down until she came to a gentle landing. Snoring followed and Surprise’s dates burst out laughing once more.
“Her teats!?” Moonlight exclaimed in disbelief. “How could anything stay secure in there?”
“She found a way,” Thomas said stoically, only for his face to crack a few seconds later as he watched Moonlight swagger over to the passed out mare. “Uh, hey. What’re you doing?”
“Undressing her,” Moonlight explained casually as her magic and hands worked in tandem to slip the mare’s dress off.
Thomas felt his pulse surge as he tried not to imagine what he hoped Moonlight wasn’t planning. “W-why?”
“So she doesn’t damage it while she sleeps,” Moonlight answered as though it should have been obvious, furrowing her brow at Thomas’ relieved sigh. “Why? What did you think I was doing?”
“I, er, that is, um,” Thomas stammered emphatically. “Uh, need help?”
Even over Surprise’s snores, a cricket was somehow heard.
“Sure,” Moonlight agreed skeptically. “You get her horseshoes.”
Thomas nodded and lunged for his task. It was a simple matter to unlatch the metal crescents from her relatively soft hoof. As such, it was hard for the human not to look up. Surprise wasn’t wearing any panties. Additionally, Moonlight had managed to lift the mare upright enough to slip the dress off before letting her body fall back down to the mattress, causing her breasts and pudge to jiggle in a way Thomas couldn’t ignore.
At Moonlight’s sudden movement off the bed, Thomas averted his eyes down to his task, suddenly feeling very self-conscious about where he’d been looking and what he’d been thinking. Despite his guilt, he still snuck a look back between the mare’s legs when Moonlight had gone to hang up the dress.
“I had a lot of fun, tonight,” Moonlight commented idly.
“I, uh, me too,” Thomas agreed as he held up the horseshoes. “Where do these go?”
“Just leave them on the dresser,” Moonlight directed.
Thomas did as instructed, only to hear the compression of the mattress behind him. He turned around to find Moonlight sitting down beside the passed out mare, gazing down upon her with a kindly smile.
“She’s quite pretty, don’t you think?”
“Uh, yeah,” Thomas agreed as he moved beside Moonlight, still uncertain on where his mare was going with this. Cultural differences were a bitch, sometimes.
“Is that odd to you?” Moonlight asked.
“What?”
“That I find mares attractive,” she clarified. “Is that still odd to you?”
“No! Well… kinda,” Thomas admitted. “I thought I was used to how things work here, but every now and then this place still throws me a curve ball.”
Moonlight wrapped an arm around the human and pulled him close. “Want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to say?” Thomas asked with a shrug. “You’re a female who’s attracted to both males and females, and that’s pretty much the default for everyone here. It’s like a fantasy world, which I guess is technically true, but that’s also kind of the problem.”
“Problem?”
“It’s like a dream come true, my biggest fantasy come to life,” Thomas explained. “It’s like it’s too good to be true, being here surrounded by you and all these other amazing people. Sometimes I’m afraid that I might wake up any minute and then all this will disappear.”
“Thomas,” Moonlight cooed sympathetically as she nuzzled his ear.
“Also, a bunch of movies I watched mentioned the theory that even when presented with paradise, most humans will reject it almost on instinct because we prefer conflict. We evolved in a chaotic world and don’t know how to live anywhere else. It’s like there’s this part of me saying how none of this is real. So, even if this is real, does that mean I’m gonna do something to mess it all up at some point?”
“So?” Surprise asked, causing the others to jump back in shock as she lifted herself up.
“S-so?” Thomas asked back.
“What’s the point of worrying about silly stuff like that?” she asked, leaning back on her hands and incidentally propping her breasts out.
“What? Wondering if the world is even real, or if it is, am I going to screw up at some point?”
“Yeah,” Surprise affirmed with a chipper nod, no longer sounding sloshed. “That. That’s silly.”
“How exactly are Thomas’ feelings silly?” Moonlight asked, coming to her stallion’s defense.
“Because it’s pointless to worry over stuff like that.” Surprise waved her hand dismissively. “I’ve met some of those stuffy philosophical types before. They just get so stuck up their own plots with their theories that they pay out the butt for any kind of release.” She examined her nails casually. “They talk afterwards and, to make a LONG story short, fretting about the future too much just makes you unhappy, and it causes premature wrinkles.”
Thomas blinked in shock at Surprise’s unexpectedly forthright and wise advice.
“Let me put it another way.” Surprise adjusted her position on the bed, sitting on her knees as she faced the pair. “Thomas. You like Moonlight, right?”
“Yeah,” Thomas said as he smiled up at the mare.
“You like talking to her and just spending time with her?”
“I hope so,” Moonlight answered with a giggle.
“So why get your knickers in a knot over some hypothetical, metaphyseal, gobbledy-gook?” she asked emphatically. “Just live for the moment with the ponies you love. It’s what my parents taught me, and look how I turned out.” She held her hands out wide, presenting herself for her friends to judge.
Thomas hummed thoughtfully. “Ya know, even if I could think of an argument, I don’t think I’d say it.”
“Yaaay!” Surprise cheered, bouncing and jiggling as she applauded. “So, can we buck now?”
“What?” Thomas and Moonlight asked together.
“Yeah,” Surprise chirped. “After a fun date, we came back to my room where we shared a heart-to-heart moment. Unless cheesy romance stories have been lying to me all these years, I’m pretty sure bucking is the next step.”
“Hold on,” Moonlight said haltingly. “You’re… you were pissed drunk not two minutes ago?”
“Yeah?”
“So how do you sound sober now?”
“Power nap,” Surprise beamed. “Best invention since plowing plots of land.”
Thomas decided to ignore what he was certain was innuendo. “And how did you manage to hold the key between your breasts all night?”
Surprise held out her hand with one finger pointed up. “That is an excellent question.” She then touched that finger to her collar bone and sensually stroked down her chest until her entire hand disappeared into the valley of her bust. “You want to find out?” she asked with suggestively bouncing eyebrows.
Thomas licked his lips. “Well…” It was more than a little weird to have sex with someone who was passed out drunk just a little bit ago, no matter how hawt they were.
“I’m not hearing a no-ooo,” Surprise sang as she slid her hands beneath her breasts, lifting them up an inch or so, before letting them fall with a faint sound of flesh colliding with flesh.
“Yes!” Moonlight cried, only to look embarrassed at her unintended volume. “I mean, if you’re up for it, Thomas.”
“I will be,” Thomas deadpanned, “just as soon as someone answers a very important question.”
“And that is?” Moonlight asked.
“When did we get naked?”
Moonlight blinked in confusion, not fully understanding the question until her eyes trailed down Thomas’ body. “Where did your vest go?” she asked in disbelief.
“Same as your dress,” Thomas dryly stated as he pointed off to the side where both their clothes had been neatly folded and hung up on hangers. Realizing her nudity, Moonlight reflexively moved to cover her private areas from the sudden chill.
“Oh that,” Surprise spoke up.
Of-fucking course it was you, Thomas thought irately.
“Well, while we were talking about the philosophy stuff,” the white mare explained casually, “a possum snuck through the window and started stripping you guys down. I was gonna ask him to stop, but he looked like he knew what he was doing, so I let him be. Then he left and closed the window on his way out.”
Moonlight and Thomas just stared incredulously back at Surprise for a long while.
“A… possum?” Moonlight asked.
Tiberius? Thomas thought.
“What? The castle doesn’t have a battalion of tiny animal servants to do the jobs other ponies are just too big for?” Surprise asked as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.
“Makes about as much sense as anything else I’ve seen since I got here,” Thomas admitted and turned to his herdmate. “Moon?”
Moonlight slowly and carefully shook her head.
“Huh,” Surprise huffed as she folded her arms beneath her ample breasts, pushing them up and out. “Well that just raises so many questions.”
“We can agree on that much,” Thomas said with a nervous chuckle.
“Oh poopy,” Surprise pouted. “I went and ruined the mood, didn’t I?”
“Well,” Thomas trailed off with a shrug. It’s not like ninja possums actually helped anything.
“Now we got to get a new one,” Surprise declared firmly, slapping her fist into her palm. She then bounced high in the air, spread her wings to flip, and then glided back down to the bed. Surprise was now presenting on all fours, tail flagged, and ass in full view of her audience. “Quick guys,” she urged as she lowered her front down to the bed and gave her rear an enticing wiggle. “You guys look back there. I’ll do what I can on this end.” She sounded sincere, with no hint of irony or lewd suggestion in her tone.
As quirky as Surprise’s behavior had been, there was just no denying how enticing her porcelain white rump looked. That was the sentiment shared by Thomas and Moonlight as both their bodies reacted to the arousing display.
Surprise then lived up to her namesake by spinning around to look back at her dates. “Yay! There’s a mood,” she declared. However, before either unicorn or man could react, the pegasus had pounced upon Moonlight, pinning her to the bed as Thomas only just pulled away in time. “Oh yeeeeeesss,” Surprise purred sensually. “I like this mood just fine.”
Moonlight whimpered as the pegasus planted a series of soft kisses along her collar bone, slowly climbing up the unicorn’s neck until she came to a stop at an orange ear and gave it a gentle blow. The unicorn whinnied rapturously under Surprise’s careful touch.
Surprise hummed lustfully into Moonlight’s ear as she ground her ample marshmallowy body into the unicorn’s more solid and lean form. The feel of Moonlight’s breasts against her own, in addition to the soft texture of her fur was just exquisite. A white hand slipped down between their bodies and began to gently probe at Moonlight’s winking snatch. “Ooooh,” she purred. “Does wittle Moony like when I play down here?”
“Nnngh!” Moonlight cried out as she squirmed.
“Hmm. Thought so,” Surprise whispered sensually. The pegasus started to move, tracing her fingers all along Moonlight’s winking lips and teasing at her clit. “And what about THIS!?” Surprise announced as she plunged two fingers inside.
“Faust!” Moonlight cried as she bucked her hips upward. The sudden insertion was like a lightning strike shooting through her body and making her back arc. Surprise, Moonlight realized, had most definitely not been blowing smoke when she said she was already a whorse. How else could she have such skill?
“No Faust here,” Surprise teased. “There’s only me,” she whispered as she began rotating her hand around, trying to touch every inch of the unicorn’s insides as she stretched her out. “Mmmh. Say my name, little Moony.”
Moonlight whimpered incoherently as she tried moving her hips in time with Surprise’s movements.
“Say my name, or I’ll stop pleasuring you.”
The half lidded look the pegasus gave the unicorn caused Thomas’ heartrate to suddenly spike. It was a look of what the human could only describe as sadistic lust. Thinking back, it was the kind of look Silver sometimes struggled with whenever she played dom for Luna. It was borderline contempt that could only come from a place of absolute power over another, condemning them for being weak while simultaneously lusting over their helplessness. It was a look Silver strained to form, at least when Luna was involved, but seemed to come almost natural for Surprise.
Oh crap, was Thomas’ most coherent thought.
“S-S-Ssss,” Moonlight strained to say as she writhed under the larger mare’s touch. “S-S-Surpriiiise!” She came, squirting quite a bit more than usual, all over the white mare’s fingers.
“Oh yessss,” Surprise hissed as she brought her dripping hand up to her face and gave a finger a quick lick. “Mmh. Vanilla.” She gave her hand another, broader lick. “Yummy.”
Moonlight squeaked her embarrassment and faced away.
“Aww. I’m sorry,” Surprise taunted as she inched her fingers closer to Moonlight’s face. “Did you want a taste too?”
Moonlight stared at the offered fingers out of the corner of her eye, watching intently as her own juices dripped from the digits and dripped warmly onto her cheek. With a semi-reluctant groan, she turned her head up and opened her mouth to accept the offered gift.
Surprise beamed sadistically as she lowered a single finger down into Moonlight’s maw. The smaller mare sealed her lips around the offered digit as Surprise began to fellate her finger in and out of Moonlight’s mouth, earning moans of delight.
“Oh wow,” Thomas said as he managed to tear his eyes away from the sight of mare-on-mare action just long enough to realize his fully erect dick was in his hand.
Surprise’s ear flicked as she and Moonlight looked in the human’s direction, both looking vaguely surprised by his presence. Then Surprise gave an ear-to-ear smirk before lunging and seizing a different orange ear between her teeth.
Moonlight bucked her hips again, her body tensing under Surprise’s tender nibbles. The unicorn looked to the human, her eyes pleading for… something. Thomas didn’t know. He was frozen; utterly helpless as his lady love moaned and writhed under the pegasus’ torment. Moonlight wasn’t sure what she wanted, either. Each careful application of pressure was like a static jolt of pleasure. She didn’t want this to stop, but neither did she want Thomas to join. Rather, at this moment, she wanted nothing more than for him to watch. Moonlight wanted her stallion to watch her moan, to see her at the mercy of and be brought to pleasure this other mare.
“Shame on you, Moony,” Surprise chided as she turned down to face the unicorn. She’d had a ball making the smaller mare squirm and even committed to memory how Moonlight had reacted to each pressure point. This would be fun to experiment with later. However, the mood had been compromised once before by her negligence, and she would not let it happen again. “You’re over here, selfishly hoarding the harem’s new mare to yourself and having all kinds of fun, all without your precious stallion?” She tsked her disapproval. “How shameful.”
Weren’t you the one who pushed her down? Thomas recalled as he thoughtlessly stroked himself.
“Well, Tommy?” Surprise teased, beckoning him over.
“Uh, Thomas,” he reflexively corrected as he made his way over to the mares.
“Pardon?”
“Nothing,” Thomas answered, not wanting to bring the mood down with his silly hang-ups over his name. “So, uh,” he began as he looked over the scene of Surprise’s body practically eclipsing Moonlight beneath her. “Wh-what did you have in mind?”
Beaming once more, Surprise wagged her tail invitingly. “We’re both fine over here. Maybe you can find somepony to play with back there?”
“That I might,” Thomas deadpanned as he moved behind the mares and positioned himself between their legs. With Surprise’s tail brushed off to the side, there was nothing to obstruct the human’s view of the mares’ precious flowers mashed together so enticingly. Both were winking in need and even their puckered ponuts were quivering in anticipation. “So many choices,” Thomas muttered to himself. “Where to start?”
“Oh. Ooooh!” Surprise waved her hand like an excited foal in class. At the same time she was gyrating her rear, sending enticing ripples across the soft and plump flesh while also kissing her clit to Moonlight’s. “Me. Pick me!”
“N-no,” Moonlight managed to say after remembering herself. “You should pick me.”
“What? But you already had a turn,” Surprise pouted.
Moonlight tilted her head as if confused by the question and smirked. “And?”
“Why you,” Surprise fumed playfully.
“Alright then,” Thomas said flatly. “If that’s how you’re gonna be, then I won’t choose either of you.”
“What!?” both mares screamed in alarm as the human leered slyly at them.
“I’ll choose… both!” The human lowered himself behind Surprise’s ample rump, completely disappearing from either mare’s sight. Inching his head close to the combined heat and smell radiating off their sexes, Thomas gave a gentle blow to their genitals, causing both to squeal at the sudden temperature change. Smiling smugly at his accomplishment, he dove in and pressed his lips to the mares’ own.
Surprise gave a closed mouth scream while Moonlight’s panting grew heavy. Not surprised by the novelty of a stallion’s lips down there, the unicorn seized the opportunity to retaliate against her larger lover. She freed her arms from Surprise’s grip and jabbed her hands into her vastly larger breasts, squeezing and kneading them firmly. Unprepared for the second assault, Surprise sat up with a start, freeing up Moonlight’s torso even as she straddled the unicorn.
Positioning his hands on Surprise’s butt cheeks for leverage, Thomas adjusted under the mare’s sudden movement, making sure never to break from the three-way kiss. With their clits pressed so close together, it was easy to suck them both in his mouth while his tongue flicked between them. Their moans and cries were as sweet to his ears as their flavors were to his tongue. Most obvious was Moonlight’s vanilla juices, which were dripping all over her thighs and buttocks after her first climax. After licking much of it away, Thomas eventually found the much sweeter flavor of Surprise.
“Cotton candy? Hmm. Not surprising.” Thomas laughed to himself at his bad joke as the great white butt bounced overhead.
It was an alien, but delicious feeling as Surprise tried to coordinate her movements. She pressed her breasts down into Moonlights hands, relishing the way the guard mare squeezed so roughly. Trickier, she was also working to grind her hips into Moonlight’s, never breaking contact with the mare as she also tried pressing her hips back to meet Thomas’ kiss. His mouth and tongue were small, but their experience shined through as he read her reactions and quickly found several of her sensitive spots.
Even after mentally bracing herself upon hearing it would probably come, just the idea that it was a stallion doing this to her had turned Surprise on in a way she hadn’t expected. It had sounded so lewd just to hear about it, but feeling it was a whole other thing. And now that she was experiencing both that, and such intimate contact with a mare as cute and endearing as Moonlight, it was no wonder that she came first.
Surprise’s sugary juices sprayed all over Thomas’ lower face, the sweetness only encouraging him to lap it up all the more vigorously. Moonlight followed shortly after, spraying his face with another volley. He drank up as much as he could, but the mares’ combined volume proved too much and most ended up on the bedsheets. When he’d had his fill, he pulled back to find Surprise had collapsed into Moonlight’s arms as both mares panted happily with flushed faces.
“You look like you’re enjoying yourselves,” Thomas commented wryly.
“That was… super-hot,” Surprise said breathlessly as she climbed off Moonlight and fixed Thomas with a predatory gaze. “It’s funny, ya know. In all my years of making ponies happy, it never once occurred to me that I could suck on two clits at once,” she explained as she stalked closer on all fours.
Aw hell. I know that look, Thomas bemoaned as he tried to back up, only to hit something soft and sturdy. He craned his neck back to find Moonlight staring down at him with adoring eyes. When did she get back there? “Uh, hey?”
“Hey yourself,” she purred as she reached down beneath her mate’s thighs and lifted him up, spreading his legs wide for easy access.
“Aww. You got me a present?” Surprise cooed sensually as her eyes narrowed onto her bobbing prize. “How sweet, and funny looking,” she joked.
“Uh, Moonlight?” Thomas asked apprehensively as he tried to adjust his position in her grip, finding all his efforts were in vain as her breasts pressed more firmly into his back. Despite going around practically naked for so long, Thomas still felt terribly exposed being held like this. It was embarrassing, but his boner didn’t seem to mind. Glancing back to where Surprise had been only a few seconds ago, the human could only wonder how she’d managed to move so quickly without him noticing.
Moonlight shushed him gently as she nuzzled her cheek to his. “It’s her turn now.” Her efforts to sound sweet and comforting were hindered by her breathy, lustful panting. She was holding her stallion to be used by another mare, and it was making her body hot.
Thomas’ attention was taken by the sudden pressure on his inner thighs. Surprise had gripped them for leverage as she tentatively began nosing at his rod. It tickled, and he felt himself involuntarily twitch.
“I think it likes me,” Surprise said with a girlish giggle.
Thomas laughed as well. “I think so, too, but he’s a little shy.”
“Ooh?” Surprise asked with a painfully adorable pout. “That’s so sad. Tell me,” she lifted herself up until her face was less than an inch from his while her breasts hung between the two of them, “how can I get the little guy to open up to me?”
Thomas swallowed thickly as the mare gazed up at him with her shimmering, adorable eyes. Damn mares and your vile adorability! “Well, you could always give him a tender and affectionate kiss,” he cheesily suggested.
“Oh!” Surprise perked. “Good idea.” She lowered herself back down to groin level. “I’m real good at,” she licked her lips, “kissing.”
“She’s right, you know,” Moonlight purred into Thomas’ ear as she savored the feeling of his smooth back against her sensitive chest. “Her lips are nnngh, very nice.”
Thomas was granted no further ado as Surprise somehow managed to squeeze her titanic tittites between his thighs. The feat was such a marvel that Thomas very nearly missed when the enormous white mounds fully enveloped his cock. He moaned in surprise. Surprise’s fur was perfectly smooth, almost like moisturized skin, and her breast flesh beneath was equal parts firm and malleable. His cock had been entirely consumed by soft warmth. The young man’s vision had been completely consumed by the white expanse of the mare’s chest, save only for a brief glance at her proud grin.
If Surprise was using her hands, Thomas couldn’t see. Regardless, her breasts began rubbing all along his length. Back and forth. Clockwise and counter. When Surprise would pull back, she’d manipulate more breast flesh into position, ensuring that Thomas’ cock remained completely enveloped the entire time.
“F-fuck!” Thomas gasped.
“You like?” Surprise teased. It was hard to maintain control, though. Her breasts had always been sensitive, and this was hardly the first time she’d used them to please a stallion, or a mare for that matter. However… “So… hot,” she gasped breathily. Her white cheeks were turning pink as she felt the hard, hot piece of meat wedged between her teats. He’d been leaking pre for some time, but the mutually pleasurable texture of her fur was unchanged. However, it was a good thing she’d already taken off her dress, because cleaning it after the veritable waterfall now between her legs would have been a trial. She was still in control, massaging the stallionhood just enough to tease, but she hadn’t expected to take such delight at this part. Adding to the stimulation of her cleavage were the expressions on her lover’s faces.
Thomas’ face was twisted so exquisitely in pleasure. He’d started humping Surprise’s breasts, but there was simply too much mass compressed against his thighs to allow much movement. He grunted and moaned, strangely trying to keep himself quiet as the pegasus pleasured the both of them. Not knowing what else to do with his hands, he grabbed hold of the mare behind him for leverage. Moonlight, by comparison, was far easier to read. Her ears had pivoted forward and pupils dilated in full attention. Her nostrils flared as she drank in the musky cocktail. Her horn had lit, and Surprise’s grin only widened as she imagined what unseen things the mare was doing to herself.
“Don’t cum just yet,” Surprise chided playfully as she slowed her movements. “It’s irresponsible for a stallion to waste his seed like that.”
Thomas chuckled. “If I do,” he moaned, “I’m blaming you.” There wasn’t any pain in his thighs from being pressed so far apart just yet. Perhaps he’d grown more limber? Regardless, he struggled to close his legs a bit to preempt any pain. Unfortunately, between Moonlight’s grip around his ankles and the sheer mass of Surprise’s bosom, such a thing was impossible. That was probably for the best, as he also didn’t want to blow his load too early. Perhaps he’d absorbed a bit of the pony’s culture, coming to believe that, as a general rule of etiquette, stallion’s really should cum inside?
“How is it her fault when you did it?” giggled Moonlight. She was fighting to hold her love steady and not squirm from the magical stimulation to her own clit.
“Cuz her boobs are too damn soft!” Thomas blurted. “Seriously, why don’t we do this more often?”
“You should,” Surprise said, directing her words at Moonlight. “Trust me.”
Moonlight giggled again and nodded her understanding.
“Ya know,” Surprise panted as she further slowed her motions, “the more I think about it, the more I’m kinda liking the idea of you cumming on my teats,” she confessed, tittering at the thrill of being so naughty.
Thomas laughed. “Seriously?”
Moonlight looked just as curious.
Surprise nodded. “Yeah, but later.” And her eyes shot back up to Moonlight. “Perhaps when somepony is in need of some,” she licked her lips, “dessert?”
Moonlight nodded and made a show of licking her own lips, only now realizing just how delectable Surprise’s breasts really looked. The idea of licking them clean should Thomas blow his load prematurely was not unappealing.
Then, demonstrating a skill unmatched by any baker, Surprise manipulated the fullness of her breasts downward, causing the head of Thomas’ cock to finally poke free. The open air might have made it cold, had Surprise not been continuously pelting it with her heavy, hot breaths. Then, without warning, she parted her lips and quickly sank down on his shaft. The blessed warmth around Thomas’ cock had just gained a moist bonus, adding to the heavenly feeling. She sank her mouth down even further, forcing her breasts further down until they popped beneath him. When that happened, she also snatched up his balls in her maw, her broad tongue managing to both juggle his jewels and encircle his rod.
Compounding Thomas’ earlier pleasure, Surprise’s latest actions had all been too much too quickly. “C-cumming!” he warned.
Surprise pressed her face into his groin as firmly as she could, sealing her lips tightly to ensure not a single drop escaped. Thomas cried out and sprayed his load. It was a smaller volume than she was used to from stallions, but the exotic flavor more than made up for it. She swallowed greedily, and then suckled on the end of his dick to extract whatever contents remained within. She released her prize with a loud pop, drawing away as a single strand of saliva connected her lips to his rod.
Moonlight made a sound that was somewhere between a whinny and a giggle.
“M-Moonlight?” Thomas panted breathlessly as he came down from his hi. “You like watching, don’t you?”
The unicorn gave the man an odd look, like he was babbling nonsense, but still her lips were stretched in a happy smile. “Didn’t I make that clear already?”
Thomas blinked as it clicked in his mind. Moonlight liked participating in sex, but in groupings she had a tendency to maneuver behind him and hold onto him, watching while he fucked other mares. He laughed. “Pretty sure you did, yeah. In hindsight, I guess I really should have picked up on the clues already.”
“Damn straight,” Surprise declared as she sat back up, towering over both unicorn and her captive human as she eyed them with a sinister gleam. “Really, now. You’ve been together how long and you’re still having these kinds of misunderstandings?”
Both Thomas and Moonlight averted their eyes guiltily from the pegasus, although it was hard to actually be upset after the recent rush of endorphins.
“Seriously,” Surprise continued as she traced a finger along Thomas’ chest. “How could you have not known your own mare was a voyeur?” she asked in a deep, seductive voice that sounded rather jarring coming from the normally peppy and excitable mare. “Granted, that’s actually pretty normal for a mare. Most mountings only involve two or three ponies at most, leaving the rest to watch from the sidelines.” Surprise adjusted herself closer until she was nearly nose-to-nose with Moonlight, leaving her breasts to be pelted by Thomas’ breaths as they hung mere millimeters from him. “But it seems this filly has it extra bad, doesn’t she?”
Moonlight could only squeak in fright.
“Then in that case,” Surprise trailed off deviously. “I’ll just take him for myself!” She snatched up Thomas from his unicorn, bouncing with a light flutter over to the other end of the bed where she dropped him to the sheets with a surprised huff. Moonlight reflexively moved to chase after him, but a wink from Surprise told her to just watch and wait. The pegasus then lowered herself down, planting her knees to either side of him while her massive rump eclipsed much over his upper legs, leaving only his erection poking out and rubbing between her moist lips.
“Cowgirl position, right?” Surprise said more than asked.
“Oh yeah,” Thomas laughed nervously. “You, uh, read that chapter, huh?”
Surprise nodded mutely as her marehood winked along Thomas’ length. She glanced up, and Thomas followed her gaze to find Moonlight staring at them, wide eyed, and her hand between her thighs. The pegasus then looked back down in time to meet the human’s eyes. “Ready to get bucked?”
Smirking, Thomas slapped his hands down along the mare’s ample inner thighs and proudly challenged, “Bring it!”
And so it was brought as Surprise lifted her hips up and, using her tail to line everything up, slammed herself down in one fell swoop. Thomas tensed, bracing himself for the painful impact of her full weight, but Surprise’s plush ass cheeks merely struck him with the combined force of a pair of pillows.
Once penetrated, Surprise’s mouth opened wide in a voiceless cry as she took a moment to adjust to the sensation. She panted heavily as her tongue hung out of her mouth, her white cheeks flushed a bright red. When she’d come down, she bent over until her head was hovering directly over Thomas as she leered down at him. “You like this, right?” she purred, grinding her hips around his and feeling the friction his erection inside her. “Big mares using their big assets to use the tiny, powerless human for their own pleasure?”
Thomas just mutely nodded.
“If that makes you happy…” Surprise left the rest unsaid as she lifted her hips up a few inches, only to bring them back down with almost as much force as the first time, causing her breasts and ass to wobble enticingly from the impact.
The room filled with the sounds of wet squelching, alternated by the smacking of skin against skin as Surprise found her rhythm. Thomas tried thrusting his hips in time with her movements, but she would have none of it as she braced her hand against his chest.
“Shh. Just let me rock… your… world,” she cooed. At Thomas’ nod, she began rotating her hips, twisting every so often to catch the human off guard as he writhed beneath her.
Moonlight was furiously fingering herself as she watched. Her horn lit and added an extra bit of stimulation to her tits and anus. It wasn’t enough to bring her to climax, but perpetually keep her on the edge. It was just so hawt watching her stallion being dominated by this new, full figured mare. It was as though each movement, no matter how slight, caused Surprise’s assets to shake in a way that could only be described as hypnotic. Her mouth began to open and close wordlessly, like she was chewing something invisible. Really she was just imagining returning the favor and nibbling on Surprise’s sumptuous flesh as it bounced. And the way Thomas’ face scrunched in ecstasy while making those puny whines was like icing on the cake. Cowgirl, she thought, adding to the list of things to try later.
Surprise couldn’t get enough of this feeling of control. She’d topped for mares and stallions before, whatever made them happy, but it was never like this. She never had such absolute control over a lover before. Perhaps this was what Silver was trying to achieve all those times Surprise would sub for her? She’d only done that because she thought it would make the little bat happy, but maybe Silver was like Thomas? Maybe she was trying too hard to be something she wasn’t and just needed somepony to show her the light?
Speaking of light, Surprise’s vision briefly went entirely white as she felt Thomas’ dick quiver within her, followed immediately by a burst of his cum. She climaxed less than an instant later, crying out as her back arched and their combined juices sprayed out over the human’s waist. Faintly she was aware of a second feminine cry as, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Moonlight collapse to the sheets with one hand still hidden from sight.
After a period of tired panting and minimal movement, Moonlight was the first to catch her breath. “Got any stimulants, or maybe just a glass of water?”
Oh boy, Thomas thought anxiously. After two climaxes so close together, his flaccidity would normally need at least a few minutes to recuperate. However, ‘normal’ was a relative term when literally surrounded by the wonders of magic, so he readied himself for the next round.
Surprise cocked her head towards the bathroom. “Sink cabinet,” she said breathlessly. “The blue bottle on the left.”
With an appreciative nod, Moonlight’s horn lit and she telekinetically retrieved the described bottle, along with three cups of tap water. Holding the bottle in hand, she read the label with an amused smile, “All Nighter?”
“Fitting, huh?” Surprise agreed. Even if it was nearly sunup.
Moonlight uncorked the bottle and telekinetically extracted roughly three teaspoons worth of liquid, held in three relatively stable spheres. She chomped down on one, washing down the vaguely minty flavor with water as she levitated the other spheres to their respective recipients, along with the water cups. They swallowed them down and their reactions were almost instant. Thomas tensed between Surprise’s thighs as he felt himself harden within her once more. The pegasus gave a muffled squeal while spreading her wings in their full glory. Even her tits and ass, somehow, looked perkier.
“What you said,” Moonlight said breathily as she crawled over to the conjoined pair, “about my stallion liking big mares with big assets.” Still on her knees, she threw one leg over Thomas’ torso. The warmth in her chest grew hotter as she imagined him staring up at her. She sat upright, now knee-to-knee with Surprise.
Thomas craned his head back, giving him a very nice view of Moonlight’s dripping slit, twitching anus, and anxiously swishing tail.
“Yes,” Surprise purred as a hand rand sensually over her left breast, cupping it and moving it about.
“Here’s something we’ll all like.” Moonlight scooted forward until her legs were parallel with Surprise’s. She then planted her ass down, completely consuming the human’s vision with her rump while she felt her lower lips make sweet contact with Thomas’ upper ones. She gave a soft whimper from the ‘kiss’, but leaned forward enough to make sure he could still breathe through his nose. This brought her right into the loving embrace of Surprise.
“Oh yes,” Surprise purred as she pressed her breasts into Moonlight’s while gently stroking her back. It was a more delicate affair than before, allowing them to tentatively touch nipples without roughly smashing the sensitive nubs together. “I could get used to this.”
As Surprise resumed rotating her hips, Thomas took that as the cue to start his own work and took the unicorn’s sex into his mouth. Moonlight’s cries were quickly muffled as Surprise consumed her lips in an increasingly passionate kiss. The mares embraced as their fingers began exploring one another’s bodies, savoring every squeak, yelp, and giggle their touches earned. It was all a much more relaxed affair without any thrusting to speak of. Tension was built slowly, teased gradually out of one another as the mares caressed and pleasured themselves on the man. The trio went on like that for many minutes until Surprise’s patience ran out and she returned them to their prior rabid pace. They all came together, and Thomas was once more drenched in mare juices.
Eventually, after several position changes, the All Nighter’s effects were spent and the trio collapsed in a heap of sweaty bodied and matted fur.
With the sound of snoring to either side of him, Thomas clung to consciousness just long enough to determine his location. He was, unsurprisingly, sandwiched between the two mares. Using his superhuman tactile memorization of mare bodies, he concluded that his head was currently supported on one of Surprise’s breasts while one of Moonlight’s was poking at his cheek. One of Surprise’s wings was draped over his chest like a blanket while one of Moonlight’s legs was wrapped all the way over him to Surprise. It was a warm, messy, and tight fit for the little human, the air was rank with the smell of sex, and, if he was reading the proportions of the bodies correctly, Moonlight and Surprise were either nose-to-nose or kissing.
It was almost 4 a.m. by the time Surprise arrived outside of Luna’s chambers and cheerfully greeted the guards. Tonight she’d opted for a red strapless dress that fell just above her knees. Holes were cut in the hips to show off her cutie marks. The top managed to contain her generous bosom while still hugging to her shapely figure, save for the third hole; a boob window situated between the bottom of her breasts. Her blonde mane had been combed and thoroughly shampooed, but she’d opted to otherwise leave it as its normal cheery and poofy self. For makeup she’d applied a bit of blush to her cheeks and royal blue lipstick without sheen.
“Alright Surprise. Just breathe,” she coached herself. “You’re going to do just fine.” She quickly rid herself of all the negative what-if thoughts that had been swimming around in her head. After all, she knew Luna. She knew she knew Luna and it was just plain silly to just assume the Luna she knew she knew would spontaneously warp into a Luna she didn’t know she didn’t know. Well, there was that one time, but that had been an extreme circumstance. There was no reason to think such a thing would happen again any time soon. Then again, there was always the possibility that… Nope! Bad brain, She scolded. No negative nancying tonight! Or else no cookies before bed! It was a bit harsh, but sometimes Surprise needed to use tough love to keep her brain in check.
Before her overthinking could trouble her further, Surprise summoned up the entirety of her courage, reached out, and knocked on the door.
It opened to reveal the warm smile of Silver. “My! You certainly clean up nicely,” she teased. Tonight her midnight black dress had glitter in the fabric and hugged her figure in a much more flattering manner than the last one. An extended v-neck had been cut from between her breasts and stretched almost down to her navel. The slits cut in her skirt were of a more standard design, but the trim had a lovely red lace sewn into it. Her silver fur almost seemed to glisten under the soft light of the magic lamps.
“Hehe, thanks,” bubbled Surprise. She knew there was no malice in the bat’s words. This was just her way of showing affection. “You’re really pretty, too. You’re like a Hearth’s Warming present where the wrapping is so snug you can tell what it is, but that just makes you want it more cuz it’s so awesome. I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold myself back.” Beaming her appraisal, Surprise then lifted her hand up to her face. She wrapped her lips around her pointer finger and gave a soft suckle that was just barely audible to the bat mare’s keen ears before letting go with a distinct pop.
Silver shuddered, imagining what else those lips could wrap around. Her dress suddenly felt very hot and confining. “Flattery will get you everywhere. Then again, you haven’t seen tonight’s main course.” She stepped back and gestured for Surprise to enter.
The pegasus did as bid and entered the same room she’d visited dozens of times already. Nothing looked different, but it didn’t feel quite the same. Just looking around at all the furniture and knickknacks caused her nervouscitement to bubble up anew.
Silver was also aware of Surprise’s sudden onset of anxiety. Not only did her keen hearing alert her to the pegasus’ thudding heartbeat, but she was able to see the jiggling of the mare’s breasts with each pulse. It was terribly distracting. Thankfully, a brave hero had arrived to save her from this peril.
“She’s right, you know,” Luna cooed, stepping out of the bathroom with a swagger.
Surprise went bug-eyed and her wings went rigid. She’d known to expect the alicorn Princess to wear some sort of disguise for their date. However, there was simply no way she could have prepared herself for the pegasus who was now standing before her.
Luna was colored a regal midnight blue – the same shade as Surprise’s lipstick – with a slim, curvaceous stomach that was the aspiration of all pegasi, although she remained just as tall as ever. Her hips and chest, however, had been scaled down somewhat to be closer to the proportions of a unicorn, although this still left them larger than Surprise’s. Her mane was a two toned pink and purple and hung down over her shoulders. Tonight she wore a crimson dress – the color nearly matching Surprise’s dress and complimenting her other colors – which modestly covered her cleavage and had the cutie mark of a waxing moon sewn into the waistline of the dress.
“Well?” Luna asked after she’d felt the silence had gone on for too long. Surprise was just staring at her, mouth agape.
Coming back to reality, Surprise pulled down her chin a second before letting go. The result was her lower jaw snapping upward and making a thwacking sound reminiscent of one of those old roller window blinds. Her lower jaw seemed to also make the same spinning motion, but that was dismissed by the others as a trick of the light. “Sorry!” Surprise blurted. “I just… you…” She gestured impotently at Luna. “I want to say something cool, but all I can think of is how I’ve never wanted to take diet pills more than right now cuz you look so yummy and I just want to eat you up and I’m sorry!” She gave an embarrassed-sounding squeak.
Luna burst out laughing, causing Surprise’s ears to twitch. The pegasus was normally well attuned to the different frequencies of laughter and what they signified. However, at the moment, her internal instruments were on the fritz and she couldn’t tell if she was being laughed with or at.
“I… I’m sorry,” Luna gasped, clutching her pained middle. “I just… I was actually thinking of saying the same thing.”
“You what?” Silver and Surprised asked at once.
Luna gave a sigh, finally regaining control. “Yes. ‘Twould seem frazzled minds think alike.”
“Frazzled?” Surprise parroted. “You?”
“Don’t act so…” Luna paused to rethink her word choice, “shocked. You are quite the lovely mare. Honestly, it’s taking all of my self-control just to keep mine own wings in check.”
“For realzies?”
Luna nodded back. “For ‘realzies.’ But surely such a beautiful and lovable mare like you must be used to such reactions.”
Surprise blushed. “Well, not really. I’ve never really gone out on a, you know, date-date before,” she admitted while fiddling with her dress. “I hang out with friends a lot and we have sex plenty, but I’ve never really dressed up like this before.”
“If I didn’t know you better,” Silver began, “I’d think you were lying just to show off.”
“Well…” Surprise shrugged. “Maaaybe I’ve got a liiittle experience in helping others get ready for their dates, maybe. But it’s a whole new thing being on this side of the makeup.”
“I know what that’s like,” Silver admitted. “At least you can take solace in the fact that this date will be more straightforward than mine.” She finished by shooting an accusing glare at Luna, which was expediently deflected by a well-placed wing stretch.
“What’s she-” Surprise started to ask. “Oh right! That whole thing where you were in disguise and didn’t tell Silver cuz you wanted her to order you around as part of a convoluted scheme to help her see you as more of a mare and not just as a goddess.” She beamed absently as the other mare stared slack jawed at her. “What? I might be blonde, but don’t underestimate my ability to be aware of social interactions. Also,” she continued, “if it were me, I’d have told her about the disguise and had us all go volunteering to a soup kitchen or something. Let her see me getting down and dirty and all that. More straightforward that way.”
Luna blinked. “Are you… making a bid to be my new advisor? Because that would have been excellent.”
“Indeed,” Silver agreed with a grin.
Surprise beamed. “If by ‘advisor’, you mean pillow talk snuggly wugglies, then you bet your sweet flank I am!”
Silver chuckled. “Now I’m imagining what night court would be like if all the petitioners were schooled in your methods of diplomacy.” She laughed again. “It’d be less tedious, at least.”
“At least,” Luna agreed. “But never mind all that. We’ve wasted too much time as is. Onwards to our date!” she proclaimed boldly.
“Onwards to fun times and snuggly wugglies!” added Surprise with equal vigor.
The two tall mares then leveled stares at Silver until she gave in. “Onwards to, uh… sorry,” she mumbled. “My brain must be frazzled, too. Either that or I’ve been spending too much time with bad influences, because all I can think of are bun puns.”
“We’ll take it!” cheered Luna.
“With extra honey!” That earned a chorus of snickers.
**********
“Please,” Luna begged.
“Nope.”
“Pretty please.”
“Still nuh uh.”
“With a cherry on top?”
“Do you have a cherry?”
Luna deadpanned back at Surprise. “Dammit,” she hissed under her breath. “I knew I forgot something.”
Surprise giggled. “Hehe. This is fun. What do you want to play, Silver?”
The bat mare gave a long, mulling whine in answer. After leaving the castle, the trio had grabbed a carriage to take them to their destination. Although Silver knew where they were going – given that Surprise had talked it out with her beforehand – Luna was just itching to know and, for some reason, had only been pressing Surprise for answers. However, more concerning to Silver was that, perhaps in response to her comment about buns, the larger winged mares had seen fit to situate themselves to either side of their smaller counterpart in the carriage and press their bodies snuggly around her. Silver had no problem breathing per se, but she was presently drowning in the stench of mare cleavage. Not to mention the fact that both mares’ plump behinds had almost completely engulfed her bottom half, warming it and surrounding her cutie marks with a comforting pressure. To any passersby looking into the carriage, they would not be faulted for believing only two mares were inside.
“Is she okay?” Surprise asked. “She hasn’t really moved or, well, done anything in like ten minutes.”
“Indeed,” sighed Luna. The three of them were packed tightly into one seat and it was a bit of an awkward struggle to pull her arm into a position that would allow her to stroke Silver’s mane. Even then, it was a struggle to move between the pressure of Surprise’s breast and her own. “It seems the poor dear is still susceptible to sensory overload. But don’t worry. She usually wakes back up after a kiss.”
“Oh. Like the handsome Princess who wakes the sleeping Prince?”
“That’s actually based on a true story,” Luna informed. “Although it was my sister who had done the kissing.”
“Still seems like a pretty big inconvenience, though,” Surprise said, frowning down at the near comatose Silver. “She’s missing out on all our travel games. Isn’t there any way to fix her?”
Luna shrugged. “Thomas has suggested exposure therapy as the most straight forward approach. It seemed to be going well at first, but I fear we’ve already taken it as far as it can go.”
“Don’t you hide her under your clothes so she can play around while you’re in public sometimes?”
Luna nodded. “Two to four times a week.”
“And she still locks up like this?”
“I am afraid so,” Luna replied, followed by a long-suffering sigh.
Surprise frowned down at Silver, pulling her own breast aside for a better look at the mare’s face. “Hmm… I wonder.”
“Oh. Have you learned something?” Luna asked hopefully.
“Maybe,” Surprise said carefully. “That look on her face.”
“Yes. What about it?”
“I get that same look when I eat a liiittle too many sweets. It’s like I get into a zone, a food frenzy and I just tune everything else out so I can focus on the sweets.”
Luna furrowed her brow. “How do you know what your own face looks like?”
Keeping her focus down on Silver, Surprise reached her hand into her mane. She fished around for a few seconds and pulled out a small mirror tied to her hairs and suspended directly in front of her face. “Sometimes I like to see my own o face,” she explained as if it were obvious.
“I believe you,” Luna deadpanned as she watched Surprise’s mane move of its own accord and absorb the mirror back into itself. Deciding to bring her focus back on the here and now, she continued. “But what does this have to do with dearest Silver?”
“Dearest?” Silver asked, perking up. Sloly her head turned and she met Luna’s worried gaze. “You’ve never called me ‘dearest’ before.”
Luna blinked. “Have I not?”
“I think I would have remembered,” Silver replied with a nervous laugh, her cheeks a bright red.
“Knew it,” Surprise bragged with a snap of her fingers. “There wasn’t ever a problem. Well, not really. She’s just getting into the ‘Luna-zone’ and wants to enjoy it to the fullest by focusing only on that. It doesn’t look like she’s overdosing, though. She just needs to learn to enjoy herself without going off to lala land.”
Silver turned and leveled a flat glare at Surprise. “I love how you’re psychoanalyzing me like I’m not sitting right here.”
“You do? Personally I find it annoying when other ponies do that with me, but whatever floats your wings.”
Silver blinked and turned back to Luna. “I can’t tell if she’s being serious or just messing with me,” she whispered conspiratorially.
“Probably both,” Luna whispered back.
**********
At long last the carriage descended to its destination and the three mares disembarked.
Luna read the giant neon sign. “Globe’s Dinner & a Show? I believe sister spoke of this place once. They perform a play while serving meals to an audience, yes?”
“Yaperoony,” chirped Surprise. “I figured this’d be a good place to take you and Silver agreed. Blend of classic theatre and modern cuisine and all that.”
Silver puffed out her chest and flexed her wings in a show of pride. It had been fun helping to plan out something her beloved alicorn would enjoy.
“Only problem was picking out something I thought we’d all like. Not too many plays about Luna. And those that are go, well… Let’s just say they’d kind of break the mood I’m going for,” Surprise explained. “Plus I don’t want you to think I think you’re just some self-absorbed prat who only thinks about herself-”
Silver tensed while Luna listened with utmost calm.
“-And so I thought, ‘Hey. You know what would be really unexpected?’ And I asked, ‘What?’ And that’s when it hit me. Well, it almost hit me.” She pointed up at the sign, specifically the title of the play just below the theatre’s name. ‘Travel by Starlight’. “The big T almost landed on me when I was walking by. The manager was super nice about it. Gave me these free passes for myself and two others to see any show we liked in exchange for not suing.” She pulled a bundle of white tickets from her mane and waved them around.
“Excellent negotiation prowess,” congratulated Luna as she bumped Surprise’s hip. “Now we get to see a show, and it’s free!”
“Isn’t something like this just a drop in the bucket for the royal treasury?” Silver asked.
“Hush you,” Surprise hissed. “Don’t harsh the mellow.”
“Verily!” Luna proclaimed in a heroic pose. “There will be no mellow harshing this night!”
As Silver beamed up at the proclaiming Luna, Surprise knelt down and whispered into the bat’s ear. “You just did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
Silver chuckled. “Can you blame me? She’s so adorable when she poses like that.”
“Fair enough,” Surprise conceded and they entered the theatre.
Even though Surprise technically had free passes, she’d still called ahead to make sure they had good seats reserved to provide an optimal view of the stage. The leveled rows of the theatre were much wider than that of the average auditorium to allow for the placement of tables. The lights were dim, but still bright enough so that everypony could find their seats and read their menus. At the bottom of the stage, the orchestra was busy tuning their instruments and providing a rather classy ambience. Having conversed with Honey about how Luna had made frequent trips to the bathroom during their date; Surprise had selected one of the private booths right smack dab in the middle of the stands. It was the ideal place to block out onlookers and cast a selective sound barrier to allow them to hear without being heard.
“Comfy?”
“Verily,” Luna purred, wiggling in her seat to test its softness. She was seated in the middle of the booth with Surprise to her right and Silver to her left. “This is surprisingly spacious.”
“Heard that one before,” remarked Surprise, causing her dates to chuckle.
“And the floors are so clean,” added Silver. “That’s a relief. I was a little worried about kneeling down in used gum and ruining my dress.”
“Oh shoot. I hadn’t thought of that,” Surprise hissed.
“Thought of what?” Luna asked worriedly. “It seems as though you have arranged everything to perfection. Why the distress?”
“Not completely. I didn’t think about Silver having to miss parts of the play while she’s got her back turned doing…” She paused and looked around, ears swiveling to make sure no pony was eavesdropping. The sound barrier hadn’t been placed yet and would not be until after the food had been brought. “Well you know.”
“Oh dear. That is troubling,” Luna agreed.
“What’s this play about, anyway?” Silver asked. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it before. Maybe I won’t mind missing a few parts.”
“It’s about a family of bat ponies who get separated from the main migration,” Surprise explained. “They stumble on a group of pegasi that got left behind long ago in a wild storm and the two groups have to get to the ‘promise land’ by basically figuring out how to navigate by the stars.”
Silver blinked. “You’re right. This is troubling.” Star navigation was said to be one of the great skills contributed by bat ponies so long ago. The idea of a new play that actually emphasized bat pony heritage like this was not something she cared to miss.
“What if I were not in the middle?” Luna offered. “If I were to sit on the side, you could,” she lowered her volume and patted the top of her thigh, “peek over.”
Surprise thought it over a second, and then giggle-snorted. “Now that’s taking dinner & a show to all new heights.”
A short bout of musical chairs had the mares now sitting with Surprise in the middle of the booth with Silver and Luna to either side. A waitress arrived shortly after to take their orders. While they waited, the sound barrier was erected Silver decided to test out how well this scheme of theirs might work.
“Comfy?” Surprise asked. Her ears were fixed forward and focused on the sounds of soft moans and hungry slurps coming from under the table.
Luna breathed gently, her expression a portrait of utter contentment as she leaned back in her seat, hands on the table. “This will not be our last visit to this establishment,” she said firmly.
Surprise giggled. “Really? We haven’t even gotten to the dinner or the show yet.”
“Oh. Right,” Luna replied distractedly. “In that case, I may simply purchase one of these fine cushions for mine own use.” She tensed and sucked in a lung full of air. “‘Tia is not to be told.”
Feeling bold, and just a bit amorous, Surprise scooched closer along the booth until she was hip-to-hip with the disguised Princess. “Nope,” she said plainly and leaned in ever so slightly, now touching shoulders. “This’ll just be our little secret.”
Silver gave a gasp and inhaled deeply. “Our?” Although she was concealed under the table, the other two mares could hear the coy smile in her voice.
Staring fondly into Surprise’s eyes, Luna reached one hand under the table. “Back to work, you.” There was a gagging sound, followed by a continuation of moans and slurps. “We’re trying to have a moment.”
Conveniently, Luna had managed to find relief just in time for the waitress to return with their orders. Silver now sat across from her with Cheshire grin. Given how everything was free, they decided to go for broke with the finest wines and the most lavish of dishes. Even for her size, Silver had ordered the smallest portions. She anticipated filling up on alicorn ambrosia.
The curtains rose soon enough and the play got underway. The story was far more harrowing than Surprise’s brief summary let on, for these were the times of the untamed wilds and unearthly natural and unnatural disasters. Things were simply too dangerous for travel by day, forcing the characters to travel by night purely out of necessity, much to the dismay of the pegasi. However, as obstacles were faced and overcome, the two families began to grow closer. Allies of convenience became friends and with the passage of time and danger, became kin and, in the end, a single united family became bound in the bonds of love.
As for the dating trio, they observed the universally accepted courtesy that frowned upon making too much noise in a theatre. Once in a while they would whisper things like “This should be good” or “How dare she” or provide any other manner of short commentary. Otherwise, they kept themselves satisfied with sighs, giggles, and soft touches.
Silver’s trips under the table were infrequent, even after Luna had conjured a pillow for her knees. The play, it seemed, had consumed nearly all of her attention. Even so, the little bat was able to read Luna’s expressions and anticipate her needs before even she realized she had them. This was especially relevant during the more steamy romance scenes being performed.
Surprise, much to even her own surprise, hadn’t seen fit to speak as much as expected. Rather, at some point during the show, she and Luna had cozied up quite snugly. Both of their hands found purchase on the small of one another’s backs while Surprise rested her head on Luna’s shoulder. More than once their wings had brushed up against one another – in a way that might have been accidental, but totally wasn’t – causing both to shiver in delight. The pegasus had all but tuned out the sounds of what was happening under the table. All she cared about was Luna, how happy she looked, how lovely she smelled, how she wanted this perfect moment to never end… and how much she wanted to jump out of her seat, fly over to the stage, and bitch slap the comic relief character for not being funny.
At the conclusion of this uplifting tale, when the family of two tribes arrived at the border to Equestria, there wasn’t a dry eye to be found in the theatre. The three dates waited for the rest of the theatre to empty out before departing. Besides, they were too busy huddling together for mutual support after the emotional rollercoaster they’d all been through. No words were exchanged as the three held and gently caressed one another, saying more with small gestures than words could ever hope to match.
They grabbed a carriage back to the castle, with Silver sitting in Surprise’s lap this time.
“I’m sorry, Luna, but I have to disagree with you.”
Luna’s eyebrow rose in query. “Oh?”
“Forget the seats at that silly theatre. This,” Silver wiggled her butt around atop Surprise’s thighs, “is a throne fit for a Princess.”
“You don’t say,” Luna replied as the corners of her mouth migrated upward.
“Back off,” Silver barked when Luna tried reaching out. “I’ve claimed her now. Wait your turn.”
Luna just blinked in befuddlement while Surprise did her best to not buck Silver right off with a full belly laugh.
“You guys!” The pegasus wiped a tear from her eye. “You’re just too much.” She giggle-snorted again. “I just love you so much.”
In the blink of an eye, Luna lunged for Surprise and stole a quick lick of the white mare’s cheek; retreating before she knew what happened.
“Hey!” whined Surprise playfully. “Didn’t anypony tell you it was rude to steal kisses?”
Luna just shrugged, grinning like the cat who’d swallowed the canary. “If memory serves, in the time in which the play was set, it was upon each individual to protect what they valued most. And if something was stolen,” she beamed, “you were expected to take it back.”
Surprise blushed pink at Luna’s implication. “Uh, you think you could close your eyes, first?”
Luna nodded and complied, closing her eyes as she smiled at Surrpise.
Surprise’s gaze fixed upon the lips of the mare before her. “It’s funny,” she said to no pony in particular. “The color’s different and the size is slightly off, but the shape of those lips is unmistakably Luna’s.”
“How is that funny?” Luna questioned evenly.
Surprise shrugged, only to remember that Luna couldn’t see. “Not really sure. Maybe it means I’ve been looking at those lips more than I realized.”
“I think that’s a given,” Silver commented quietly. While she recognized this was meant to be a moment between Surprise and Luna, she couldn’t help herself. With the snarky remark out of her system, she contented herself to be as still as possible and just watch.
“That actually gets me thinking about this whole concubine business,” Surprise continued. Luna motioned her to elaborate as she patiently waited for Surprise to take action. “Well, like in the theatre. Silver looked like she was doing whatever she wanted, even when you didn’t ask. And you, well, liked it.”
“If you were curious, you should have asked if I was willing to share her services,” Luna replied cheekily.
“But now I’m thinking of what you just said about taking what’s mine. Well, what is mine? As a concubine, does that mean I basically have free reign to just take and give happiness whenever I like?”
Luna giggled. “Only when we’re in private… Like now.” She popped her lips in invitation.
Turned to the side in her seat, Surprise’s left wing was cramped uncomfortably against the carriage’s seat while her right wing boner had shot out to full length. “Is it weird that I’m suddenly overcome by a desire to start dancing around to show off my wings in a traditional mating dance?”
Luna giggled again and leaned slightly closer. “It would be more odd if you had no such desire.”
“Oh,” Surprise purred. She caught sight of the way Luna’s wings were twitching with impatience and knew her ramblings would not be tolerated for much longer. “Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is that-”
“Yes?”
“-that I-”
“Yeees?”
“Ah, buck it!” And with that, she lunged forward and pressed her lips firmly and passionately into Luna’s own. The two wrapped their arms around one another, caressing each other’s arms and shoulders as they noisily made out.
“Oh Faust,” Silver swore under her breath. Watching the two gorgeous mares make out, with the addition of Luna’s pungent musk still heavy in her nostrils, it was taking all of the little bat’s willpower to keep herself from seeking out her own release all over Surprise’s pretty dress.
The pair continued sucking face all the way back to the castle. When the carriage driver came around back to see why they hadn’t left, Silver made a horizontal chopping motion under her throat to dissuade the guy from interrupting. He just shrugged nonchalantly, likely having dealt with this sort of thing before.
In time, both mares had to come up for air and finally left the carriage. Surprise escorted Luna and Silver back to their rooms, holding hands the entire way. When it was time to part ways the three shared a goodnight/good morning kiss and allowed the doors to finally separate them.
Thomas and Moonlight were in the midst of last minute preparations for their date. The human wore dark indigo shorts and a gray t-shirt with Luna’s cutie mark imprinted on the shoulders. Moonlight wore a white, short sleeved blouse that completely covered her cleavage and a pink skirt with a blue trim and slits cut for her cutie marks. Honey had told them to dress casual, but that didn’t stop Moonlight from adding a modest bit of lipstick colored the same green as Honey’s fur.
“Where do you think we’re going?” Thomas asked. He glanced back at the night stand where Moonlight had set his tie, insisting it wouldn’t be necessary. It would have looked awkward with such a casual shirt anyway.
“Silver said they went to a rodeo themed restaurant on her date,” Moonlight replied, turning this way and that to examine herself in the mirror. “I’ve always been curious about those places.”
“Think that’s where she’ll take us?”
“I certainly wouldn’t,” Moonlight replied flatly. “The same place two dates in a row just screams lack of imagination.” She turned her head as a comb magically ran through her crimson mane. “And you can bet she and Surprise talked things out, so a dance club is probably out too.”
With nothing else that could realistically be done with his attire, Thomas began pacing around the room. “I’m guessing this is all according to pony dating protocol, right?”
“Sort of,” Moonlight confirmed. She tried to ignore Thomas’ pacing, as it only added to her own anxiety. “It’s not often that multiple ponies try to join a herd at once. When they do, they usually try to coordinate things to give themselves, and each other, the best possible impression, so this isn’t out of the ordinary.”
Thomas hummed thoughtfully. “Seems kinda intimidating when you think about it. You do this while I do that. One on one or even all at once just seems way simpler.”
“It’s not like this is our first time meeting her,” Moonlight reminded. She, too, had found nothing else to do with her attire and elected to sit on the bed. “She knows what we’re like, so I doubt she’s that much more nervous than us.”
“But she is probably expecting sex, right?” Thomas met Moonlight’s eyes as he continued to pace around the bed. He then glanced briefly at the bathroom, where their ‘plan’ was waiting to be enacted.
Moonlight frowned. “Is that so wrong?”
“Well no, but… I don’t know,” Thomas admitted. “I think I’m just being weird, again.”
Moonlight smiled. “You’re weird 24/7,” she reminded playfully.
“Oh yeah?” Thomas asked playfully. “Well what does that make you?”
“The lead mare of a weird little human who is currently having trouble expressing himself,” Moonlight replied flatly.
“Fair enough,” Thomas agreed and sighed. He’d have to try explaining himself. “It just still seems weird to me, treating dates and romance like a job and just having all these rules and procedures around them.”
Moonlight leaned back and patted the spot beside her. Thomas complied and rested his butt down while she looped an arm around him. “You’re absolutely right,” she began. “Treating dates like part of a job interview is super awkward, but I doubt we’re the only ones feeling that way.”
Thomas nodded his agreement. He also noticed how Moonlight’s blouse was partially see-through and snuggled up to her side for a better look. Even after all this time of seeing her butt naked, the allure of partial nudity was still too much to resist.
“Easy there, little guy,” Moonlight cautioned, following his line of sight. “Save it for the new mare who’s spent a long time getting to know you and just wants to take the relationship to the next level,” she explained evenly. “No obligations, no overcomplicated plans, just three friends having a nice time and hoping things turn out fun.”
Thomas pressed himself up along Moonlight’s body and planted a kiss directly below her jaw. “Don’t tell anyone,” he whispered, “but you’re my favorite unicorn.”
Moonlight giggled. “That’s nice, but will you still be saying that if another unicorn joins our herd?”
Thomas blinked, thought it over, and planted another kiss. “You’re my favorite orange unicorn with a pretty red mane and a super comfortable lap to sleep on.” He grinned. “How’s that?”
Moonlight’s cheeks were flushed as she tried to keep her happy squeal subdued. “B-better.”
There was a knock at the door. Moonlight sprung to her hooves like a soldier standing at attention, inadvertently knocking Thomas over onto the bed. He smiled as she marched to the door and followed close behind. On the other side stood Honey. She wore frayed Daisy Duke short shorts that rode up pretty far in the back and had stitching on the sides to show off the three green apples of her cutie marks. Her top was a too-small, red flannel blouse that was tied tightly at the bottom just above her exposed midriff, leaving the valley of her cleavage on full display. She flicked her light brown Stetson up, revealing her confident eyes and beaming grin.
“Howdy ya’ll!” she greeted, cocking her hip to one side as she leaned.
“Howdy ho,” Thomas greeted back, trying not to let his eyes roam over the country beauty’s sumptuous body. However, he did spy the yellow picnic basket she held behind her back.
“H-ha,” Moonlight struggled to say. She cursed herself for getting tongue-tied again. “H-how strong is that shirt?”
Honey giggled and looked down at the blouse that was more like a bikini top. “Experience says stronger than it looks, but we can test that later, sugar.”
Moonlight blinked and came back to reality. “I look forward to it.”
**********
“Ah probably should’ve done this from the start,” Honey began, “but ya know how it goes. Live ‘n’ learn.” She swung the picnic basket lazily in one hand while walking alongside Thomas and Moonlight through the streets of Canterlot.
“A moonlit picnic under the stars,” Moonlight commented as she gazed up at the sky. She found that the moon was waning, but still mostly full. Her tail reached behind Thomas, tickling his back and brushing against Honey’s tail. “In hindsight, I really should have expected some classic romance from you.”
“That ya should,” Honey agreed. Her tail wrapped around Moonlight’s before it could retreat and held it fast, forming a rather loose knot behind Thomas as the three of them walked down the road.
Thomas glanced over his shoulder to see what was happening behind him. He smiled. “Any chance you two are offering to carry me in a tail hammock?” Experimentally he slowed down a little and found the conjoined tails caught his back and forced him to keep pace.
“Ya’ll can try, but Ah wouldn’t recommend it,” Honey said. “‘Sides, we ain’t headin’ that far.”
“Where are we going, exactly?” Thomas asked, looking around. “I don’t recognize the area, but that’s not really saying much with my sense of direction.”
“It’s a new park they opened just up the road,” Honey said, swinging her basket forward. “It’s still new and doesn’t have any fancy fountains ‘r nothin’, meanin’ it’ll be nice ‘n’ quiet.”
Sure enough, the park quickly came into view. As Honey described, it was a rather quaint thing in the suburbs. There weren’t quite enough trees to block out the surrounding buildings, making it difficult to suspend one’s disbelief that this was a purely natural setting and not just a small spot of green in a concrete jungle. While there weren’t any fancy fountains, there was a modest sized stream that cut through the middle of the park with four bridges connecting the two halves. On one side was a playground, vacant because of the hour, and on the other were an assortment of picnic tables and other open areas.
Entering, Thomas stopped to feel the coolness of the grass against his bare feet. The softness of the earth was a welcome change of pace from the marble tiles of the castle and the turgid firmness of the sidewalk. A chill blew through the air, likely a lingering remnant of winter. Thomas’ clothes provided little protection and the spell to insulate him against the weather hadn’t been applied in some time. He reflexively wrapped his arms tightly around himself. In response, both mares pressed themselves up to either side of him, protecting him with their body heat, and the human smiled.
The trio quickly made their way to the picnic area, only to forgo any of the tables in favor of the open ground.
“If ya want ta have a romantic picnic under the stars, ya’d best do it the right way,” Honey explained as she found a spot atop a small hill and under a tree. Said tree probably would have provided some welcome shade if the sun was out, but as things were, it only lightly obscured the night’s sky without hampering the lovely view.
“Anything we can do to help?” Thomas asked as Moonlight cuddled him. The chill had passed, but he couldn’t think of a reason why the mare should let go.
“Nah.” Honey waved dismissively. “Ya’ll jus’ have a seat ‘n’ Ah’ll get things started.” Setting the basket between herself and her dates, Honey opened the lid. Their collective senses were immediately assaulted with the odors of freshly baked pastries. Only Honey managed to keep focus. “Ah hope ya like it. Ah made some apple pies, apple fritters, ‘n’ apple dumplings. Jona thought it’d be nice if we shared a friendly catfish, ‘n’ Plow dug into his personal stash o’ Zap Apple jam.” She set each item into place as she listed them off. “Everythin’s 100% homemade Apple quality goodness, even the cider.” She lifted out a few bottles in one hand and gave them an encouraging shake.
Thomas’ mouth watered as he stared at the spread before him. “Whoa,” he said simply.
“I don’t even know where to start,” Moonlight admitted. “And you made all this yourself?”
“Mostly,” Honey corrected. “The pies and fritters were yours truly. Everythin’ else,” she waved her hand over the spread in presentation, “is an offerin’ on behalf o’ the whole Apple clan.” She pulled her hand back and awaited their verdict. Of course she had every confidence in her family’s cooking, but it was always a chef’s worry that their food might not be appreciated, especially when it came to someone they loved.
“Mine!” Moonlight announced as she seized one of the pies, levitated a set of utensils into position, and viciously attacked.
More subdued than his mate, Thomas grabbed the fried fish and set a small slice of pie on his plate.
Honey gave a small sigh of relief, sat down, and grabbed a few portions for herself before Moonlight could devour it all. “So how about ya’ll tell me a bit more ‘bout yerselves. Fer all the time we’ve spent together, Ah reckon Ah don’t know hardly nothin’ ‘bout what ya’ll were like before we met.”
“That’s fair,” agreed Moonlight. She recounted the story of how she grew up in Canterlot with her dame as an officer in the guard and her father as a concubine to Celestia. After a moment’s hesitation, she decided to come out and tell the full truth about why her sire had left the harem, including the secret around Blue Blood being a jackass in service to the crowns. She then recounted her cutie mark story with the bullies, touched on a couple notable points in her education, and rounded off with her joining Luna’s house guard.
Thomas did much the same and provided the cliff notes of his upbringing. He told of how he’d always been a quiet and rather reclusive child. He’d only grown quieter with time, making few friends as his parents moved around a couple times. Eventually he made a friend once they’d both settled down from their initial awkwardness, who became his girlfriend with time. However, they split upon going to university and she found someone she loved. Thomas, meanwhile, after spending years in his own imagination, finally discovered his passion for writing. Then graduation with a useless degree, then work in retail, and finally his arrival in the castle.
“Wow. Sounds like ya’ll’ve led some perty interestin’ lives.”
“Only the last bit for me,” Thomas corrected. “Everything before was pretty much the pinnacle of mundane.”
“Your turn,” Moonlight cut in. “Why don’t you tell us a bit about what you were like growing up?”
“Well, Ah had a simple foalhood, all things considered. Ah was born on a farm jus’ outside o’ Baltimare in Red Tree County. Us Apples are planted perty much all over the place.” Honey straightened her back and donned a small, proud smile. “That’s where Ah spent most o’ mah early foalhood, too. There weren’t much ta do ‘cept chores ‘n’ school. No fancy arcades ‘r the like, so most o’ our free time was spent jus’ chasin’ each other, lazin’ under the sun, ‘n’ watching the clouds ‘n’ wishin’ somethin’ excitin’ would happen.”
“Normally that’s the point in the story where there’s some sort of disaster,” Thomas pointed out.
Honey shrugged. “Eh. A couple wild storms here ‘n’ there, but nothin’ that’d uproot an Apple. We jus’ dug in ‘n’ waited it out. Then we got back ta doin’ what we do best: growin’ strong ‘n’ makin’ the land green ‘n’ red.”
“What about your family?” Moonlight asked. “The Apples are pretty famous across Equestria. Did your family have any special influence or anything?”
“Kinda. We had the third largest private farm in the county, so most folks tended ta listen whenever mah parents spoke at town meetin’s. But we didn’t get all stuck-up about it, though. Lots o’ ponies in town relied on us Apples ‘n’ we took pride in what we did. It was mah ancestor who dug the first reservoir more ‘an two hundred years ago that made livin’ on that patch o’ dirt possible. Like usual, an Apple plants its seed, and perty soon it blooms into a bustlin’ little town.” Honey beamed and looked up nostalgically into the sky. “Mah granpappy use ta tell me that more ‘n’ half o’ Equestria wouldn’t be here if not fer us Apples plantin’ all over the place.”
“That reminds me of something,” Thomas began. “You said this was all ‘100% homemade Apple quality goodness.’ I don’t really know all that much about the Apple family, except that they’re really… prolific?” He asked experimentally. After giving it some thought, Honey nodded. “I know that the branch down in Ponyville are also the sole producers of Zap Apple jam and make some good cider. Does every branch have their own specialty? Is there any kind of competition for business?”
Honey gave a thoughtful hum as she nibbled on a fritter. “Ah mean, Ah guess,” she said uncertainly. “I like what ya’ll said about the ‘branch’ in Ponyville, ‘cause that’s pretty much how it works. Ya got the main branches o’ the family tree that’re mostly the original settlers o’ places all over the country. They start the farms that grow the towns, makin’ them the main branches. Apples, bein’ the fruitful lot we are, start spreadin’ out from there, but never stray too far from the main branch.
“We do got our specialties, though. Like how the Oranges up in Manehatten ‘re actually part o’ Clan Apple. The way mah grandpappytold it, both Apples ‘n’ Oranges were tryin’ ta settle the land at the same time, but neither was gettin’ too far. Orange trees grew better than apples, but the family didn’t have much as far as business sense ‘r trade connections. Apples had all the business, but none o’ the crop. So, after buttin’ heads for a few years, the heads o’ both families finally got some sense knocked into ‘em and realized the only way they’d ever grow anythin’ was if’n they worked together. Nature took its course, ‘n’ now we got a healthy branch o’ Oranges growin’ out o’ our Apple family tree, which Ah s’pose makes it more like an everythin’ tree.”
“That’s pretty cool,” Thomas said, fully engrossed into the story, making Honey beam in pride.
“The same thing’s happened with a bunch o’ other produce over the years,” she continued. “It’s gotten ta the point that now the Apple clan is easily the single biggest family in the land.”
“My dame once told me that half the earth ponies in Equestria are part of the Apple Clan, or at least connected in some way,” Moonlight added.
Honey shrugged while beaming in false modesty. “Eh. More like a third, the way Ah hear it. But we’re getting’ there.” The two mares shared a laugh and even the human grinned his appreciation at the family’s proud history.
“So the original families who settled things are ruling the extended family?” Thomas asked.
“Nah. It ain’t like how Canterlot folks are all obsessed over bloodlines ‘n’ status climbin’,” Honey explained. “That’s jus’ not the earth pony way. It’s more like the main branches are at the center o’ where everythin’ grows, so they’re more like jus’ the default place the clan gathers whenever decisions need makin’, not ta mention family reunions. They usually got the most land, but not always. We try ta keep things democratic, but the toughest willed pony in the room usually gets the biggest say, no matter which branch they come from.
“Oh. An’ as fer competitions…” Honey trailed off and pushed a plat of apple dumplings into the center of the picnic blanket. “We have a lot o’ fun at family reunions. Besides games ‘n’ excuses ta spend time together, we also hold big competitions ta show off any new recipes we got goin’. A lot o’ bigger towns ‘n’ cities hold cooking competitions o’ their own right around the same time as Apple reunions.” Honey tried not to look smug as she continued, but she wasn’t trying all that hard. “Naturally, Apples usually take home the gold.”
“Wow,” was Thomas’ humbled reply. “You’ve got quite the family history.” He glanced at Moonlight. “Both of you. Is that a pony thing?” This question caused the mares to frown.
“Families aren’t a human thing?” Honey asked.
“Depends,” Thomas admitted. “Some families are closer than others, but not too many have… what I guess you could call storied lineages these days. I kind of felt like I was drifting away from the rest of my family as I got older, so I can’t really say for certain, although I got the impression they still passed on stories with each other. Both of my grandfathers fought in some pretty big wars, but neither liked to talk too much about the experience. My dad was interested in tracking our family lineage and found some pretty cool things. Apparently I’m 1/16th Native American.”
“Wait,” Moonlight interrupted. “I thought you said you were from the country of America, so wouldn’t that automatically make you a native?”
“I am, but my ancestors took the land from people who were there centuries before us. We’re part of the country called the United States of America, but the ones before us were the numerous tribes collectively referred to as Native Americans.”
“Huh. Sounds a little like the trouble Ah heard brewin’ down in Appleloosa,” offered Honey. “Settlers are gettin’ into some pretty nasty squabbles with the local buffalo tribes.”
You have no idea, Thomas thought, not wanting to delve further into this particular topic. Instead, he decided to take a stab at another thought that had been weighing heavy in his mind. “So, are you happy?”
Honey furrowed her brow. “What d’ya mean?”
“I mean, you had a family – a herd – before applying to the harem. Given everything you’ve seen and been told so far, does the idea… you know…”
“Still seem like a good one?” Honey guessed and Thomas nodded. She smiled with soft reassurance. “It does.”
“It does?” Thomas pressed.
Moonlight listened in silence as Honey gave her explanation. While Thomas rarely showed it, he was a very sensitive creature and it was in his nature to fret about the happiness of others, especially those closest to him. He hated the idea of forcing others into uncomfortable situations and, as much as he could, would work to help them feel more comfortable. Moonlight knew that no word but Honey’s could assuage the concerns of her thoughtful stallion.
Honey nodded. “It does, an’, if’n mah date with Luna went as well as Ah thought, Ah’m looking forward ta spendin’ the rest o’ mah life with both mah herds.” She chuckled. “Heh. Ain’t too many ponies ever expect ta hear those words comin’ out o’ their mouths.”
“Agreed,” confirmed Moonlight. Upon spying Thomas’ confused expression, she reacted with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I really wish there were a way to explain this better. Maybe it’s a difference in culture, or maybe the magic of destiny is playing a role?”
“What she said,” Honey stepped in at Moonlight’s urging look. “While the idea o’ bein’ in a second herd still makes me a little nervous sometimes, it jus’ seems right ta me now.”
Thomas pursed his lips as his eyes begged for elaboration.
Moonlight shuffled in place, suddenly feeling very sweaty. She hoped she didn’t stink. “It’s like that night we went to the zoo. I remember how anxious and awkward I was at the start.”
Thomas smiled sympathetically. “You weren’t the only one.”
“But by the end, after spending time with you, getting to know you, and just… It’s now impossible for me to imagine a future without you in it.” She reached out and set her hand on Thomas’ thigh. “I love you, Thomas. I love you with all my heart.”
Thomas took deep, steady breaths, rapidly blinking his eyes to keep the tears from forming as he felt the sincerity of Moonlight’s words. “I love you too,” he replied, noting the utter lack of hesitation in his words.
Then Moonlight turned to Honey. “And I love you, too,” she added, not doing nearly as much to hold the tears back as she met Thomas’ eyes once more. “It’s just like that night. Awkward and confused, but now…” She trailed off, the turbulent emotions making it difficult to articulate.
Honey, having patiently followed along, decided to take up the slack. “Yeah. Ya’ll told me about that zoo date o’ yours, ‘n’ that’s pretty much how Ah’ve been feelin’. At first it was jus’ Luna. Ah wanted ta be in her life, even if Ah knew that part would have ta be different than the one with mah herd, but that was okay. Ah’ve realized it’s okay ta have different friends who like different things. It’s okay ta be part o’ different groups, even if they don’t like hangin’ out all that much. An’, while it’s still kinda hard ta put into words, Ah know deep in mah heart that it’s okay ta have different lovers, so long as the love’s real and don’t take away from any other.
“That’s why Ah want ta be in the harem. Ah love Jona ‘n’ Plow, but Ah want you guys in mah life, too. Ah’m imaginin’ a future where Ah’m commutin’ between mah house ‘n’ mah room at the castle. Maybe for one night, or maybe two or five in a row. Ah’ve talked about it with Jona ‘n’ Plow, ‘n’ they were the same. It was weird at first, but the idea jus’ seems ta make sense now. Ah want to spend the rest o’ mah life with ya’ll ‘n’ am willin’ ta do whatever it takes to make everypony happy.”
Unable to help herself any longer, Moonlight began to bawl. She then reached out and yanked both Thomas and Honey into a surprise hug. She squeezed them both as if she were afraid they might float away otherwise. Honey squeezed right back, but was careful with the little guy. Thomas – also caught up in the moment – put every last ounce of strength he had into holding the mares as tightly as he possibly could. If the tears running down everyone’s cheeks wasn’t indicator enough, the rapid swishing of tails told him that this was a happy moment.
“So Ah was wonderin’ about some o’ those stories you like ta tell us,” she said, directing her inquiry at Thomas.
“What about,” Thomas took a swig of cider to wash down the mouthful of fish, “them?”
Honey shifted a little uncertainly. “Well, Ah was wonderin’ if’n ya had somethin’ a little… different.” She licked her dry lips.
Thomas frowned his confusion. “What? Like a particular genre or something?”
Honey breathed, deciding it would be best to just rip off the bandage as quickly as possible. “Well, mah friends always had ta read ‘em ta me, but mah favorite kind o’ story is… Ah’m not sure how ta describe it.”
“How about an example,” Moonlight helpfully offered between bites. She figured Honey was still a little insecure about her problems with reading, so it was still a little tricky to talk about, even after all they’d shared already. “From what I’ve seen, odds are ten to one he at least has something similar in that noggin of his.”
“Fair assessment,” Thomas agreed evenly. “I was kind of a shut in growing up, so I consumed a lot of fiction.”
Honey nodded and continued. “Well, Ah guess it’d be like a character startin’ out all ordinary like, maybe in secondary school, ‘n’ then they get thrown into this whole other world o’ fantasy ‘n’ wonder.” Honey flinched when she heard Thomas and Moonlight start to chuckle, cursing herself for her poor diction and bad timing, or whatever was responsible for them laughing at her.
Thomas shook his head. “No problem. In fact, there’s this ridiculously popular story back h-uh, where I’m from that fits perfectly.” He’d almost said ‘home’, but that no longer felt right. While there was still some acclimating to be done, he could no longer imagine living happily anywhere but with his new friends and loved ones in Equestria.
“So it starts, as these things often do, in the dead of night; the witching hour, to be precise,” he began. “The streets are empty and dimly lit, for no one in their right mind would ever have business at such an hour. Yet despite this, a lone man with a long white beard walks down the middle of the road, looking upon the mundane homes with mild curiosity. He holds out a strange contraption. It looks like an ordinary lighter, but when he points it at one of the dim lamps, the fire goes out, sucked right into the lighter…”
The journey back to their private suite in Canterlot Castle was far too long for the trio, despite comprising the exact same distance. Following the shared moment on the picnic blanket, the dating trio talked animatedly about nothing in particular, such as book sales and the latest gossip. They had eaten in quite the hurry, wanting to finish up their picnic as quickly as possible as both mares began dropping hints that they were starting to feel an itch that was in need of prompt scratching.
“So, is it really a mare’s bigness that ya like?” Honey asked idly as they walked down the castle halls, giving her hips a notable swagger. “Or is it jus’ certain parts ya like?” Following Thomas’ line of sight, she chose to emphasize her point by folding her arms under her chest and giving her mammaries a playful shake.
“You can’t shame me,” Thomas countered, now staring intently at the bouncing bosoms and no longer even pretending his intentions were anything but lustful. “Besides, you’re not in much position to talk after what you did.”
“Why, Ah don’t know what ya’ll ‘re talkin’ about.” Honey’s feigning of ignorance was short lived when she met Moonlight’s accusing glare and mischievous smirk. “What? It was a compliment.”
“Oh, I know it was,” Moonlight replied playfully as she rubbed the spot on her butt that still had a lingering sting. “And I intend to show you every ounce of gratitude I can muster.” Her words were not a threat, but a promise, and it made Honey shiver just thinking about it.
At long last they arrived at Thomas and Moonlight’s shared room. Although no plans for what to do at this point had been discussed, at least not openly, Moonlight immediately took charge. She told Honey to stay on the bed to await their surprise. Next she hurried Thomas into the bathroom and closed the door behind them.
“Huh. This seems familiar,” he remarked in a deadpan tone of voice, already stripping out of his date clothes. He knew what he was expected to do as he eyed the change of garments set off to the side.
“Just hurry up and get ready,” Moonlight ordered, also stripping just beside him.
“What’re ya’ll plannin’ in there, anyhow?” Honey called. She stood nearby the bed, looking around the room and feeling just a little awkward. She never was much for surprises, especially those that didn’t deliver right away. “Should Ah be doin’ anythin’?”
“Just make yourself comfortable,” Moonlight answered as she hurried into her new outfit. “You can leave your clothes on, if you like. It should be fine either way.”
“Is there anything you need?” Thomas asked, hoping to contribute more than just wearing the silly outfit he was currently slipping on.
“Nah. Ah’m good,” Honey answered, sitting herself down on the bed and testing its bounce.
“Could you pass me the Flower Pit?” Moonlight asked, gesturing at a bottle on the sink.
Thomas nodded and picked up the bottle. The illustration on the front was of a mare lifting her arm up over her head and a stream of fresh flowers was flowing from her exposed armpit like a waterfall. Overall, he judged the advertising art as passable. However, seeing how his mare was currently busy with her boot straps, he elected to apply it himself.
“Not too much,” she cautioned. “Gotta leave something for her to enjoy, but I don’t want to stink.”
“I’ll just pretend that makes sense,” Thomas allowed as he continued his work. He had already finished putting on most of his costume, which was less elaborate than Moonlight’s. It then occurred to him to tease his beloved further. “Honey.”
“Yeah?”
“For what you’re about to see,” he grinned up at Moonlight’s aggravation, “feel free to nitpick to your heart’s content.”
“Why’d Ah do that? Yer obviously goin’ through quite a bit in there, presumably jus’ fer me.” Honey paused as she listened to Moonlight’s grunts and groans, hoping they weren’t getting started without her. “It’d be rude ta not accept a gift like that.” As she spoke, she idly undid a few buttons on her blouse and unzipped the front of her shorts. It was all she felt she could do without knowing what was coming.
After another couple minutes of looking themselves over in the mirror and patting out all wrinkles. “Alright,” Moonlight called at last. “Get ready. We’re about to come out.”
Something about Moonlight’s tone made Honey a little anxious. It sounded more like a warning than a sexy announcement. She adjusted herself to sit on her knees on the bed, ready to move on a moment’s notice as the situation demanded.
There was the sound of a cleared throat and Moonlight added, “Oh, and the safe word is pineapple.”
Honey’s ears snapped forward at full attention now as butterflies came alive in her belly.
The bathroom door swung open, revealing a near blinding light on the other side. Honey squinted and tensed, ready for anything as she saw a pair of silhouettes standing in the doorway. The light from Moonlight’s horn eventually faded and allowed Honey to see who, or rather, what she was dealing with. Her jaw nearly fell off her face as she processed the familiar sight.
Moonlight wore a strikingly dramatic and campy dress. Rather than being just some simple fabric that hugged her body, the material bore an odd resemblance to stone with its jagged edges jutting out at odd angles. The top was sleeveless and covered most of her breasts with stalactite-like formations curving inward beneath her collar bone. A loin flap fell all the way down to the floor, nearly covering the mare’s hooves, and had a broken black heart sewn into the hips. Black transparent stockings with a crisscross pattern gripped her legs. Her crimson mane cascaded down her back and even a little over her shoulders. Upon her hands she wore dark violet gloves with sharpened nails attached to the end of each finger. Her black lips were curled in a sultry smile and her fiery eyes fluttered with the promise of mischief.
Standing behind and to the side of her, Thomas stood slightly hunched over. He wore a red and yellow striped t-shirt with the same broken heart emblazoned on his chest. While he wore no pants, he did have on special black boots that made it look like he had hooves rather than feet. His gloves were a shiny rubbery black and the simple black mask tied over his eyes was reminiscent of a robber. He wore no other makeup, but did offer his best evil look as he wrung his hands together.
The pair just stood there a moment, posing for their audience. Honey blinked as the initial shock wore off and she regained control of her mouth. “Q-Queen Broken Heart?”
“The one and only!” Moonlight proclaimed dramatically. “Rejoice, mortal. For this shall be the last night you shall ever have to suffer the pain of emotion~,” she trailed off on the last syllable, nearly purring.
“Nyehehe,” Thomas added, feeling like a total dork. He looked up at Honey and braced himself for her inevitable laughter at their ridiculous spectacle. It was hard enough for even him to keep a straight face in all this.
“Y-ya’ll did all this… fer me?” the earth mare asked, sounding genuinely moved.
“We most certainly did, puny mortal,” Moonlight replied, trying to stick to her character as much as possible by waving her hand around in dramatic motions. “And there shall be no escape!”
“The castle has its own tailor specialized to the needs of the harem,” Thomas informed in deadpan, uncertain if they had started yet. “There are so many questions I know I don’t want answered-Ow!” Moonlight had just smacked his bare bum with her tail. “I mean, nyaaaaaaah!” he sneered like Skeletor.
Somehow, that was the trigger that brought Honey back into the moment. “Fiends!” she accused, rearing up on her knees to be as tall as possible as she channeled her character. “You will never win. For as long as I have love and justice on my side, I, Fable Mable, shall vanquish you.” Honey delivered her heroic declaration while going through a series of hand motions that would have not looked out of place in Sailor Moon. Had she known what Sailor Moon was, she’d have thought that to be an apt comparison.
Sneering, Moonlight folded her arms under her chest. “Oh, really?”
“Yes, really,” Honey challenged, holding her pose.
Thomas thought the two were trying to out-mug each other with their exaggerated expressions, making it hard not to laugh for real.
“And, pray tell, how will you transform,” Moonlight reached behind her back and pulled out a prop, “without this?” The ‘wand’ in the mare’s grip was a common Equestrian vibrator at first glance. However, it was colored pink with toy wings and a heart attached to the end grip to make it resemble Fable Mable’s iconic weapon from the manga.
Honey blinked and quickly patted her hand around her hips, pretending as though she’d lost the wand. “Thief!” she accused in a shrill cry, ignoring how her geeky side was arguing that the prop in Moonlight’s hand was far too big to accurately represent how the wand looked when Fable wasn’t transformed. “How did you get that?”
Moonlight, or rather, Broken Heart grinned menacingly as she leaned her head back far enough to look down her nose at ‘Fable’. “Silly filly. You were doomed from the moment you saw fit to match wits with me!”
“You left it outside the bathroom,” Thomas flatly informed from behind the unicorn. He was dressed as one of the lesser apathars, the grunts of Queen Broken Heart’s army. Mostly they existed for cannon fodder and comic relief, but Thomas’ role was special. He was clearly Yapyap, Broken Heart’s right-hand stooge who got pushed around a lot while delivering a deadpan commentary on events around him.
The role – Honey realized – fit him like a glove.
Mable’s expression grew frightened as she stared back at the pair. “W-what are ya’ll gonna do?” she asked, feeling her pulse quicken at the realization of her character’s situation. She was all but powerless without the wand, and entirely at the mercy of her fiendish enemies.
“Yapyap. Restrain her!” Broken Heart ordered as she thoughtlessly tossed the wand behind her. It hit the floor with a soft clatter.
“Yes, my queen,” Yapyap responded, heightening his pitch and making his voice sound more raspy and insectoid. That felt closer to the depiction in the manga. He jumped on the bed and hissed at Honey. She flinched back, feigning fear and disgust, and he went for her arms. He was grateful the large mare was playing along, otherwise he wouldn’t have stood a snowball’s chance in hell as he pulled her hands behind her back.
“Don’t do this, Yappy,” Fable urged while pretending to struggle. “With how much she mistreats you, how can you possibly stay with her?”
Yapyap stared at Fable with his signature flat expression. “Have you seen that ass?” he asked, gesturing towards his queen. “I know she usually wears a dress, bud DAMN, that’s a fine booty!”
Broken Heart blushed.
“Well, Ah guess Ah can’t argue with that,” Fable conceded. It was a little out of character for her to give up so easily, but she wasn’t exactly in a position to disagree with his reasoning. Already her mind was running wild with the possibilities of what Broken Heart might do with that fine booty of hers.
“Glad you understand,” Yapyap said as he pulled out a bit of rope from under his shirt and tied it around Fable’s wrists. It was the same kind of knot he used to use on his shoelaces, but the rope was thick enough so that Fable was unlikely to break free on accident. “And who knows. Maybe you’ll like having the love sucked out of your heart.”
“It ain’t sucked,” Honey reminded. “It’s washed away with a tide of apathy.” She looked back at the flat expression of her captor. “What? Ya’ll said ta nitpick.”
“Touché,” Yapyap replied in approval as he gave the knot one last check. He tightened it for good measure and Fable flinched from her character’s pain. “Alright, my queen. She’s all yours.” He shuffled further back on the bed, but not so far that he couldn’t come back in on demand.
Broken Heart set her hands on her hips, sashaying her way up to the bed. Never taking her eyes off her prey, she licked her lips in anticipation as Fable trembled. “So, my elusive adversary. I finally have you in my clutches.” She held up her hand and balled it into a fist, causing the rubber of the glove to make a chafing sound.
“Ya won’t get away with this!” Fable challenged. “Ah’ll get out o’ this, somehow.”
“Oh, well that’s a shame,” Broken Heart said, feigning sorrow. “And after all the work I put into your welcome party.”
“Psh. What da you know ‘bout puttin’ together a party?”
“L-lots of things,” Broken Heart stammered defensively. “I-I know about…”
“Animal balloons,” Yapyap whispered.
“Quiet, bug,” Broken Heart snapped. She scrunched her face in an effort to look extra mean and intimidating, but only succeeded in making herself oddly adorable. “Animal balloons,” she continued, regaining her confidence. “I know how to blow animal balloons. My party planning skills are unparalleled!”
***
“Challenge accepted!”
“Pinkie?” Mr. Cake asked as he stared in confusion at his pink employee. She’d just dropped a bag of flour, causing its contents to spill all over the floor as she threw her hand up in a triumphant declaration.
Pinkie blinked and looked around Sugar Cube Corner as if for the first time. “Where’d I go just now?”
***
“Ah don’t believe ya,” Fable said with an indignant huff. By contrast, Honey was squealing with joy on the inside at the accuracy of all of this. Thomas and Moonlight must have really done their homework to so accurately capture the more comedic aspects of the story while trying to maintain the more serious narrative. “Yer jus’ full o’ hot air.” She quietly wished she could do more to rid herself of her – normally – treasured accent for the sake of authenticity, but knew it wouldn’t last. She’d lose all self-control as soon as the real fun started.
“Is that her secret?” Yapyap asked. “My queen. Are your lovely, luscious melons,” he mimed cupping his hands under his nonexistent breasts, “inflatable?”
Black Heart stared daggers at her impudent minion. “You’re lucky I don’t have a rolled up newspaper.”
“Ya better check, Yappy,” Fable whispered. “Maybe Ah can escape if ya’ll find the right button on her ta let all the hot air out.”
Broken Heart’s ear flicked. The idea of her minion searching her body for switches to flip held a certain kind of appeal. “Maybe later. For now, my balloon blowing prowess has been challenged!” she declared dramatically. “Yapyap!”
“Yeees, mastew,” he replied, now doing an Igor impersonation.
“Pull… off her pants!”
“Aye-aye.” Yapyap gave a salute and shimmied up to his captive and situated himself between her legs. “Nyerrr,” he hissed menacingly up at the much larger mare and had to swallow his mirth at seeing her pretend to be afraid. That’s what he kept telling himself, anyway. Honey knew the safe word, her only real restraints might as well have been made of gummy worms, and the one about to ‘assault’ her was a mere fraction of her size and strength. She’s not afraid, he reminded himself as he watched her shiver. She’s just excited. I’ve seen the other mares shake like that when they’re excited, too, so there’s nothing wrong.
Sensing his hesitation, Fable decided her captor needed some words of encouragement. “Jus’ do what ya gotta do,” she whispered. “Ah can take it.”
Yapyap smiled and nodded his appreciation as his confidence was restored. He decided that his character should lick his lips as he creepily eyed his prisoner’s open thighs. He set his gloved hands down on her inner thighs, making her tense. Yapyap waited until she relaxed before continuing, silently mourning how the gloves blocked his ability to feel the fuzzy muscles beneath his palms. Even so, he glided his hands across the vastness of her inner thighs, teasing his fingers ever closer to the prize hidden behind her shorts, all while Mable tensed and wiggled under his ministrations.
“Yesss,” Broken Heart purred. “Make her squirm.” While her character would have actually scolded Yapyap for taking so long, she knew that he needed to take his time. Thomas hated making others uncomfortable, so she was willing to be patient and wait as he became acclimated to the demands of the situation. And if things got too much for him to handle, he also knew the safe word.
Yapyap decided he was ready to carry out his queen’s orders and slipped his gloved fingers into the top of Fable’s Daisy Duke Shorts. Despite their firm and unyielding appearance, the shorts’ waistband easily gave way to his gloved fingers, stretching out to a considerable degree. This afforded him the chance to fool around a bit more, stretching out the waistband so that it would snap back with a sharp sting. He took Fable’s moans to mean that she was not opposed to a little pain, and so repeated the process a couple more times as he slowly slid the shorts from their wearer.
It took a bit of acrobatics on Fable’s part to lift her hips enough so that Yapyap wasn’t hindered by her weight. “What’s this all about?” she demanded defiantly. “What’re ya’ll gonna do with mah shorts off?”
“Nyehehe,” Yapyap snickered. He’d just slipped the shorts off the grand roundness of Fable’s ass while leaving the modesty of her maidenhood still protected. She’d maneuvered herself a little onto her side at his silent coaxing to give him easier access to her rear. “My queen has plans for you,” he informed while running a single finger along her pert cheek. He’d copped more than a few feels of her bodacious booty in the past, yet still regretted Moonlight’s insistence on their use of gloves. He wanted to feel that toned muscle hidden beneath the layer of squishy, grabbable butt cheek. But for now he just contented himself with watching as his finger drew small grooves along her fuzzy buttock, only for the fur to quickly fold back into place. The way the mare shuddered from his near ticklish teasing gave her ass an extra enticing bounce, making him all the more anxious to start playing with her for real.
“Indeed I do, foolish Fable,” Broken Heart sneered as she drank in the view. Fable’s pitiful whimpers were making her abdomen tighten as a warmth began in her groin and slowly filled her body. Yapyap was swaying his naked rump in her direction while his erection hung between his legs. This could only have been intentional, forcing her to grit her teeth in frustration at having to hold herself back. Her horn lit and began teasing at her sex under her dress, readying herself as the seconds ticked by.
Even as her face was scrunched in discomfort, Honey was loving this role. Her upbringing told her that there was nothing inherently sexual about taking one’s clothes off, or even having another do so for you, but the scene they were acting out said otherwise. Fable Mable existed in a world with a nudity taboo, where the titular character was often put in uncomfortable situations in which she felt the need to protect her modesty. It was hilarious and adorable in the book. However, the look on Yapyap’s face as he inched her shorts down helped to emphasize the severity of this moment. Fable was about to lose something precious to her, and Honey could barely stand the wait.
Yapyap wagered that there was barely a centimeter to go before he had his captive’s maidenhood on display, but paused to check on how she was doing. Fable’s full chest was rising and falling with heavy, labored breaths as her eyes locked with his. Her expression was pleading, and so he gave in to her demands. Yapyap gave Fable’s shorts one last yank, pulling them nearly down to her knees, and stared in exaggerated awe at her hidden treasure. “My, my,” he hissed. “Aren’t we excited?”
Fable could only whimper as her sex winked at her vicious and vile assailant. It was so shameful for her body to react like this in front of her enemy, but also so incredibly arousing. “Why are ya doin’ this ta me?” she whined as her vulva gave another wink.
Yapyap thoughtfully touched his finger to his chin and stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth. At the same time, his other hand went back to her abdomen and began teasing around where the waistband had left grooves dug into the mare’s skin. “Good question,” he replied distractedly. “Why are we doing this, queeny?”
“It’s ‘queen’ you dolt!” Broken Heart snapped back. “And, uh, we’re doing this so that feeble Fable understands exactly where she stands with me.” She took a step forward with a manic grin and cupped one hand under her breast while the other made a fist. “At my mercy.”
“Kinda looks like she’s sitting at your mercy,” Yapyap offered flatly, surprising a snicker out of Honey.
Broken Heart just glowered at her insolent minion, all while suppressing her own chortle.
Yapyap took the hint and got back to work. He leaned down, pushing his ass as high into the air as it would go to give queeny the best possible view. His head was kept down as he leaned forward and braced his hands on Fable’s inner thighs, pushing them up and back so that the shorts would be out of his way. He leaned in even closer until he could feel the heat radiating off of her dampening sex. It winked and, with utmost sadism, he took a sniff of the mare’s groin, making it as loud as he could in the way he knew seemed to drive all mares crazy.
Fable made a whinnying sound of excited surprise, nearly bucking her hips upward. Pleased at this reaction, Yapyap decided to take things a step further and blew a gust of cool air onto her heated groin. Fable made a whinnying hissing sound and her hooved kicked wildly up in the air directly above Yapyap’s head.
Further encouraged by Fable’s reaction, Yapyap dove in and stole a swift lick of the mare’s now glistening pussy juices. Again he made the action as loud as possible. Even if he couldn’t see Fable’s expression at the moment, her squirming suggested she was enjoying herself. He still took his time smacking his lips in appraisal as she awaited his verdict. Then, after she’d given a discontented whine, he pushed her shorts a little further up and poked his head through her warm, firm thighs. He grinned. “That’s some sweet apple juice you’ve got there.”
Rather than Fable’s pretend modesty, Honey’s face burned bright apple red in genuine embarrassment at the stallion’s declaration. It was just so immeasurably naughty that she had to take a second to remind herself that she’d done nothing to force this upon him and that he’d done so all on his own. She’d known this was coming, of course. All the other mares had warned her how much Thomas liked to tease them like this. But that knowledge did little to actually prepare her for just how lewd she felt having a stallion give her oral. It was so wrong, so scandalous, and she had to bite her lip to keep from begging for more.
“Wait,” Broken Heart cut in. “Did you mean…?”
Yapyap turned around and grinned. “Literally,” he informed smugly, only for his expression to turn thoughtful. “Does that make it a double-entendre?”
Moonlight groaned. While she was glad for his willingness to participate thus far, she was starting to wonder if these tangents would end up breaking the mood. “Just do what you’re paid to do,” she grumbled.
“Hold on!” Yapyap held up his hand and spun around so that now his back was facing Fable. “We’re getting paid for this?”
Broken Heart blinked. “Uhh…”
“Can you believe this?” Yapyap asked over his shoulder with his hissy bug accent. “She says she’s paying us, but I don’t recall ever getting a single paycheck.”
“Ya’ll don’t pay yer own minions?” Fable asked aghast. She was breathless and her body felt like it was burning, but her carnal needs were overwritten by the desire to see where this was going. “That’s low, even fer you.”
“Tell me about it,” Yapyap agreed as he started petting Fable’s inner thigh.
“Seriously. With all the times Ah’ve kicked yer asses, ya’ll at least gotta have some kind o’ health plan.”
“I think we do,” Yapyap offered as he considered. “I mean, we’re usually treated back at the evil castle, but the service is spotty at best.”
Broken Heart flinched back, not expecting to be double-teamed so early in the scene, and especially not like this. “It’s, uh… automatically deposited to your account,” she blurted hurriedly. “Yeah. All apathars get their own private account where, uh, deposits are made weekly on your behalf.”
Yapyap frowned skeptically as he pushed Fable’s legs to the side and down so he could climb over. He then sat his butt down on her abdomen and felt the tightness of her abdominal muscles. He used his legs to push himself back until he felt the warm softness of her breasts still contained in their flannel prison. Still keeping his focus on Broken Heart, Yapyap then leaned back until the mare’s bountiful mamma jammas were functioning nicely as a chair for his lower and middle back. And, just for good measure, he pulled his elbows back and rested them on as much boob flesh as he could comfortably reach, making himself rather comfy in the process. “An account, you say?”
“Hey!” Fable griped. “Don’t go wiping yer dirty plot on mah belly, ya perv.” It was hard to tell from Broken Heart’s expression if this was still part of the act or if Thomas was improvising. Her shirt was still on and her shorts had only been pulled down to her knees. She began to wonder what he might do next from this new position. Would he play with her breasts, masturbate until he wastefully came on her belly, or do something else unexpected? Her body was growing warmer just imagining the possibilities as Yapyap twisted his butt around just below her ribcage.
“Don’t go taking that tone with me, twerp,” Broken Heart growled, deciding to go with the flow. “She’s mine to torture until she’s nothing but a mindless thrall, not your throne!”
“You sure about that?” Yapyap asked, leaning further back against the mare’s bosom. “Why can’t she be both?”
Broken Heart opened her mouth to answer, only to close it again as she thought. There really wasn’t an answer for why they both couldn’t do what they wanted at the same time. “If this is about your pay, I’ll show you the bank statement just as soon as we’ve finished up here.” But Yapyap’s scowl told her that wouldn’t be enough. “Okay, fine! We both get to drain-er… wash out her emotions, and you get a bonus for being my personal lackey for all these years. Satisfied?”
Yapyap beamed and eagerly replied “Yeees, mastew,” before flipping himself around. With Fable’s breasts still bound together, he decided that now would be a prime time for a rare indulgence. He raised himself up high to stare over the mare’s mountainous cleavage, grinning like an idiot. His feet were situated carefully on her muscled middle while his hands gripped the nipples poking through her top for balance. “I’ll begin preparing her top,” he informed, humping the air so that his cock would bounce.
Fable blinked as it donned on her what was coming next. “Uh, ya’ll just said ya wanted ta cleanse me o’ emotion, and Ah don’t think that’ll make me too clean.”
Yapyap frowned. “Are you questioning my hygiene?” he asked just as he stabbed his dick through an opening in Fable’s shirt and between her melons. Her boob flesh was soft yet firm, like a well fluffed pillow. Yapyap tightened his grip around Fable’s nipples, twisting them just enough to earn a reaction as he used her chest pillows to give himself a tit job.
Moonlight could wait no longer. While the others were distracted, she tried to keep her composure as she sauntered up to the bed. Broken Heart fell onto all fours and cleared her throat, announcing her approach to the others. She wasted no time as she moved in for her prize and sealed her lips around Fable’s excitedly winking marehood. “Oh wow,” she gasped. “It really is apple juice.” She quickly stabbed her tongue into the mare’s moist folds and began lapping up as much of the sweet liquid as she could reach.
“Yes,” Broken Heart purred. “All that, mmh… liquid love!” she blurted after giving Fable’s clit an especially strong suckle. “I’ll drink every last drop,” she panted like a thirsty dog, “until there’s nothing left.”
Thomas chuckled as Yapyap pounded away. The soft muscle of Fable’s tits was sending jolts of electricity through his genitalia. Moonlight’s line was just so perfectly cheesy, he couldn’t help but feel a little proud of her. At the same time, he also wanted to follow up with a line of his own. “Uh, yeaaaah,” he jeered. “The queen is gonna suck you dry of all love, and then I… I’ll fill you up with my,” he thrust his hips forward with an especially meaty slapping sound, “with my eeevil seed of… apathy!” Smooth, he mentally chided himself.
“Shame on you,” scolded Fable.
Thomas didn’t know if she was referring to his line or his intended deed. Both seemed equally deplorable.
“Tamperin’ with a young maiden’s heart is about the worst thing anypony can do,” Fable continued.
Yapyap gave a soft smirk. “Oh come on. That’s what everybody says at first, but they always change their minds after we’re done.”
“Yeah. That’s cuz ya’ll brainwash ‘em!” Fable countered, trying to keep a straight face even as the evil queen was utterly devouring her marehood. She tensed when a finger had suddenly slipped its way into her anus, but sighed in relief when the appendage began twisting inside her anal cavity. At the same time, Yapyap’s erection was like a burning hot coal between her teats; hard to ignore and driving her a little bonkers. She wondered if he was planning on cumming now or saving it for later. She’d be fine with either, but hoped he’d pick the option that would lead to his precious stallion seed going where it belonged.
“Well, maaaybe,” Yapyap conceded. He’d decided to change tactics a little by pressing his hips against her bosom as much as he could before moving up and down instead of back and forth. The friction was just as stimulating and the slight hitch in Fable’s voice told him that she liked this more. “But at least we have fun doing it!”
“Thank Faust for small miracles,” Fable replied sardonically even as she threw her head back in bliss. No pony had ever treated her teats like this, not even her herd. Sure, they’d grope, squeeze, and suckle, but somehow it never occurred to them to use Plow’s dick to, well, plow her northern field. And the way Yapyap was hanging onto and twisting her nipples even as his dick covered as much area as it could reach was only adding to her stimulation. Was this a new fetish, or was she just caught off guard by the novelty of the new experience?
It was admittedly hard to tell, what with Broken Heart using her tongue like she was digging a well in Fable’s foal hole. What the unicorn lacked in size – relative to the Apple’s experience with earth mares – she made up for with dexterity and determination. Her trained oral appendage had already found Fable’s sensitive spots and was pressing each one with deliberate care, each time earning a slightly different lustful squeak from the helpless hero. Fable wished her hands were free so that she could grab the evil queen’s head and shove her entire snoot into her vaginal canal, but bemoaned that the wrist binds continued to deny her Faust-given rights.
Broken Heart heard none of this exchange as she desperately plundered Fable’s cavern for treasure. She didn’t have to look far. The moist tunnel was absolutely awash with liquid love that lit her taste buds on fire with its earthy sweetness. She drank like a desert traveler who’d just found an oasis. The evil queen could feel the tell-tale twitches of the mare’s vaginal canal and knew she was close. The finger in the mare’s ass was soon joined by a couple friends as their thrusting picked up to an even greater speed. She relit her horn and once more began massaging her own clit and lower lips, wanting them to cum together. The immensely strong mare would climax on her queen’s command. Fable would bow to Broken Heart’s power, and it would be exquisite.
At long last, the green earth mare came. Her love juices came out like a gushing torrent and washed over Moonlight’s face. Honey’s hips bucked up, trying to bury the pseudo cock of the unicorn’s muzzle in her marehood. Moonlight complied, using both arms to wrap around Honey’s thick thighs to hold herself in place. She didn’t want to get washed away. Her mouth was held open to catch as much sweet juice as possible while she eagerly gulped it down. The sensation of drinking the bound mare’s climax finally set off her own, causing her magic to release as her dress became stained.
Thomas just grinned as he looked between both mares’ blissful expressions. He was slowing down his own humping, but wasn’t quite ready to stop. He’d never had any intention of actually cumming on her breasts, but felt the threat of doing so would add to the mood. Apparently, a gentlestallion finished inside and left the mare’s coat as unmarred as possible; which he also preferred. This was just an extension of their warmup, which meant he still had to hold it in a bit longer.
It was only after Honey came down from her peak of bliss that it truly dawned on her just how frustrating it was to be helpless. There were so many things she wanted to do, so many ways she wanted to participate. She could grab hold of Moonlight’s mane and give it a good tug; or maybe move Thomas around to the top of her teats, which would put his tiny bottom in range of her tongue. Just lying back and letting others – especially a stallion – do all the work was making her feel just a little awful, even if it was obvious the two were enjoying using her body like this. However, being restrained and not reciprocating the pleasure that her lovers was giving her felt wrong to Honey. It went against their cultural upbringing of reciprocating whatever their herdmates did for them. Not one bit. She was an Apple, dammit! Apples act! But heroes like Fable got caught and… and… waited?
The green mare managed a brief smirk, but managed to hide it before any could see.
Moonlight was taking a bit longer to come down from her own orgasm. The warmth and supple muscle of Honey’s thigh was just too inviting as she affectionately nuzzled the left leg with her cheek. She hugged around the mare’s thick leg, attempting to use it as a pillow. She cared little that such a display went against her character. Her own liquid lust was dripping down her thighs and what her body needed was some good snuggles.
Figuring that this was a cooldown moment, Yapyap decided to undo the last of the buttons on Fable’s shirt. The great globes of flesh popped free with a meaty smacking sound as they flopped around a little. Eventually they settled with perfect perkiness atop her torso, completely disregarding how the human’s understanding of physics demanded that they sag a little to the sides. “Ha. It’s like they’re getting a good stretch after their prolonged confinement,” he thought out loud. His cock was no longer engulfed by pillowy goodness, allowing it to pulse and twitch in the open air.
“An’ that one looks like a dog itchin’ ta chase somethin,’” observed Fable wisely. The object before her eyes was small, but it had felt so exquisitely hot just a second ago. Her instincts were screaming at her that this piece of meat was the most important thing in the room and that she had an obligation to claim it before some other mare did. She suppressed those backwards compulsions, however. Besides such thinking being downright disrespectful, she knew there’d be time enough for real action in a bit. Right now the game was still going.
Yapyap nodded his understanding and looked back at Broken Heart. She looked so contented at the moment that it seemed like such a shame to interrupt her. Instead he swiveled his head around the room, surveying for anything that could be of use. Their script had been incredibly loose and had left quite a bit open for spontaneity. Then he remembered. “Be right back,” he informed before hopping off of Fable and bounding back to the bathroom.
Fable just giggled, but it wasn’t just at Yapyap’s hasty retreat; although she did mourn the loss of his weight atop her belly. The way Broken Heart’s cheek fluff felt against her thigh while her breath would periodically pelt the cooling juices of her recent orgasm gave a surprisingly satisfying tingle. The way the smaller unicorn was ravishing her body with such worshipful praise was terribly moving. Honey could only hope she’d be able to return the favor soon.
“Got it!” Yapyap announced as he came out of the bathroom and held up his prize.
Fable had to angle herself a little to see around her own breasts, but eventually she managed to see Yapyap holding her wand. The one thing that could turn the tables on this humiliating capture had just been put back into play. She shaped her expression to one of dread, but was grinning on the inside as a plan took shape.
“Mastew,” Yapyap said as he waved the wand about like an ill-gotten trophy. “I have the prize you asked for.”
Broken Heart turned around and grinned devilishly when she saw what was being offered. “Excellent work, minion,” she said as she levitated the wand to her hand. She sat up tall on her knees and her grin turned outright sadistic as she gave the prop a prolonged lick along the shaft, all while staring at Fable out of the corner of her eye.
Fable stared in shock and horror at what was being done to her precious wand. It was an icon recognized the world over as a symbol of heroism. Such a sight was heresy! Blasphemy! Downright wicked! And Broken Heart’s sensual tongue work over the shaft while her enemy watched seemed oddly fitting for her character. “You’ll never get away with this you… you wand licker!”
“Language!” Yapyap scolded.
Fable’s ears splayed submissively from the rebuke. “Sorry.”
“You should be,” Broken Heart added. “But right now there are more important things to do.” She held the wand out a short distance from her face and stared appraisingly at it. “Hmm. This accursed wand has been nothing but a pain in my side since day one.” She licked her lips of some excess mare cum as she wrapped both hands around either end of the prop. “I should just snap it in half right now!” The prop bent a little in her grip.
Fable tensed, understandably fearful of losing her most precious treasure for good.
However, the flexible toy bounced back when Broken Heart released her other hand. “But no. That would be too easy.” She turned a scornful scowl on Fable. “And for as long as you can still feel anything, I intend to make you suffer.”
Fable shuddered as her breathing quickened and her fur stood on end. “Great line,” she whispered.
It really was.
“Thanks,” Moonlight whispered back, keeping her face as menacing as possible. “Now then,” Broken Heart continued. “Shall we begin?” She did not wait for a reply before grabbing the ‘top’ of the wand – the part with the excess decoration – and angled the narrower end downward. “Oh Fable. Your loins are so drenched in your own juices, and your marehood is still winking, begging for more.” She smirked. “What happened to all your claims of purity and righteousness, eh?”
Face flushed with embarrassment, Fable averted her eyes. There was simply no way she could reply and still maintain her dignity as the hero of love and justice.
Broken Heart sneered as her horn lit, coating the wand in a layer of lubricant as well as pulling the shorts the rest of the way off. She pressed the tip to Fable’s entrance, causing the mare to tense. Broken Heart waited for her to relax before continuing, parting the green mare’s nether lips. The first few inches of the wand soon disappeared into the moaning mare’s love tunnel. “This is what happens to those who challenge me,” Broken Heart growled before forcefully thrusting another few inches in.
Fable’s hips bucked from the rough treatment. She could not stop the words that escaped her mouth. “Do yer worst.”
Broken Heart scoffed. “Normally, I’d break the neck of whatever fool was impudent enough to give me an order,” she informed haughtily, “but I suppose I wouldn’t mind complying just this once,” she purred. “Yapyap.”
“Ma’am,” he replied dutifully. He’d been off to the side, standing at attention in more ways than one as he watched the exchange and waited for his cue to come back into the scene.
“Hold this in place.” She indicated the wand. “There are places I need to be.”
Yapyap nodded and scooched in between Fable’s vast thighs beside the queen. He gave her shoulder a playful shove, which she returned with a knowing smirk. They paused a second just to rub their sides together and just feel each other’s warmth before resuming the scene.
Once Broken Heart was certain Yapyap’s grip was true, she stood back to her full height and began a slow march. It was difficult maintaining her balance on the mattress, so the queen had to take slow and careful steps. However, it was imperative that the queen did her best to look regal and imposing, even as she fingered herself under her loin flap.
“What ya’ll gonna do ta me?” Fable asked breathlessly. She found herself suddenly curious about what lay beneath that loin flap. She’d never been so concerned about seeing the orange mare’s slit before, but the existence of the flap added an air of mystery that begged to be ripped away. Alas, the flap was too wide and even the movement of Broken Heart’s fingers offered no glimpses into what lay beneath.
Meanwhile, Broken Heart’s gaze trailed up and down her prisoner’s form. Her eyes glittered in appraisal as she took in Fable’s body as if for the first time. That shapely figure, that perpetually perky posterior, and those teats that – while nowhere near Luna’s volume – compelled a mare to bury her face inside and smother herself. And oh, would there be some smothering, just from the other end. The thought elicited a wicked chuckle. Finally she stopped directly above Fable’s head, but still far enough back that the poor hero couldn’t see what she’d obviously been ogling for the last minute.
“This is it,” Broken Heart purred. “Your final judgement is at hand.”
“Wh-what are ya gonna do ta me?” Fable asked even as she strained her neck to steal a peek.
Broken Heart gave her most sinister smirk yet. “Worship your queen.”
That was all the warning the evil villain gave. Swiftly she squatted, sitting her ass down directly over Fable’s snout. Broken Heart used her magic to move the flaps of the dress aside so that her prisoner’s view was unobstructed. Over her shoulder, Broken Heart saw Fable’s eyes were wide in shock, but her nose had disappeared beneath her own toned buttocks. Looking forward, she grinned at seeing Fable’s lower jaw poking out just past her winking vulva.
“Oh, buck yes!” Broken Heart groaned. She adjusted her rump, wiggling from side to side to make herself comfortable as she felt the green mare’s tongue and lips against her taint as Fable went to work. It was like she was trying to win some kind of eating contest. “Hail to the queen, filly.”
Yapyap giggled to himself, drawing the queen’s attention back to him. She made a silent motion for him to do something, but left the details to him. Yapyap thought a second before it came to him. “How’s this, mastew,” he said in his Igor voice. He was really digging his Igor voice. With careful, agonizing slowness, he removed the wand from its holster, grinning as he listened to the sounds the mare made as a direct result. He rubbed a finger on a section of the shaft to confirm that the lube was still in place. Just because he was feeling bold didn’t completely stop him from worrying. With that detail confirmed, he readied the wand for insertion once more, but took aim about an inch lower.
“Hmm ffmm umf!” Fable cried out.
The tip had only just touched the green mare’s pucker, but Yapyap froze just the same. He needed to make sure those weren’t sounds of protest and that he hadn’t just crossed a line.
Sensing her minion’s worry, Broken Heart lifted her ass up a bit to let the prisoner speak for herself. “Yes?”
Fable inhaled deeply the smell of fresh, untainted air. She knew it would be a while before she got any of that at present. “Ah said Ah want ta go rough!”
“Noted,” Broken Heart replied evenly before sitting back down. Fable resumed her mouth work immediately, which sent a shiver of delight up the evil mare’s spine. “You heard the feeble fool,” she said to her minion. “Have at her!”
Yapyap pursed his lips, even as his body relaxed, and resigned himself to his task. The ‘wand’ was larger than his own cock by a considerable amount. He knew how he measured up to other stallions, but feared that going too quick with something this big would hurt. However, he opted to trust the mare to know her own limits. Taking a breath to steady himself, he repositioned the wand at her anal entrance, took aim, and (carefully) shoved that fucker in. It went in surprisingly smooth, offering only minimal resistance. Fable groaned in ecstasy the entire time.
The fervor of Fable’s mouth was such that Broken Heart almost fell over, but managed to catch herself on Fable’s bountiful bosom at the last minute. The mare’s tongue work was almost as good as her own, using sheer size to make up for what she lacked in technique to plunder her captor’s depths.
Approving of this outcome, Yapyap considered if he should stay where he was and keep using the wand. However, he was quick to reconsider. In all previous sexual interactions with mares, the coup degras always seemed to be the ‘traditional’ form of intercourse, so it only seemed right to follow that tradition. He sat up, straightening his posture before getting up on his knees. With cock in hand he kissed the tip to her drenched labia. Fable’s winking kicked into overtime and Thomas was almost certain he saw the lips stretching out to engulf his little head. She was clearly struggling to keep her legs under control with how they were twitching. Thomas said a silent word of gratitude for all that time spent on training the mare’s self-control.
“Mastew. Something is happening,” Yapyap warned as he humped his hips, using Fable’s drenched nether lips to fellate himself. Their size difference was such that he might have been able to engulf himself with just these hot-dogging motions, but that would have been impossible for other reasons. He still hadn’t cum yet and the pressure from the previous attempt was already building to near unbearable levels. If he wasn’t careful, he’d no doubt blow before she was ready.
“Wh-what is it, minion?” Broken Heart asked breathlessly. It was hard to keep focus as she pressed her plot down as far as it could go on Fable’s snoot, trying to pull as much into her hungry snatch as she was able. Using the green mare’s breasts as the softest of hand rests, she managed to look up enough to behold what her minion was doing. She grinned in wicked delight as a powerful moan sent vibrations up her marehood and throughout her body.
“M-my body,” Yapyap said worriedly as he continued to hump away. Every now and then he’d pause, pressing his mushroom head between the mare’s lips. He heard her moan pleadingly. However, he repeatedly adjusted his aim at the last minute to keep from actually going inside her. The sounds coming from Fable and the faces Broken Heart was making each time was making it increasingly difficult to hold himself back. “It-it’s acting of its own accord. What do I do?”
“F-fuck her!” Broken Heart barked out. “Fuck her until she’s nothing but a sniveling, drooling, husk of a mare. Fuck her until she’s mine, to do with as I please forever more!”
Both Honey and Thomas silently praised the mare for her excellent improvisation.
“Yes, mastew!” Yapyap affirmed before finally thrusting inside. Fable’s pussy – strangely enough – offered even more resistance than her ass hole. Her vaginal muscles were clamping down firmly, giving the impression of tightness despite its vast size relative to his diminutive length. However, she was not so tight that he had any trouble entering. He slid himself inside in one clean motion, giving out a contented sigh as he hilted inside her moist depths.
Fable gave a booming cry of joy that was only marginally muffled by Broken Heart’s bountiful backside. He’s in me! The phrase repeated itself over and over in her mind until all else was nearly drowned out. Her thoughts were awash with the ecstasy of having both her bottom holes filled, the sweet and succulent flavor of mare juice on her tongue, and the added bonus of her nipples being played with. She could take it no more.
Just as Fable felt the tightening of Broken Heart’s vulva around her tongue, she decided to finally turn the tables; somewhat literally. At long last she ripped her hands free of her bindings and immediately grabbed hold of Broken Heart’s thighs, roughly digging her fingers into the cutie marks. Broken Heart gave a squeal that was equal parts delight and surprise as the added stimulation sent bolts of lightning through her brain, momentarily stunning her as climax hit. That’s when Fable made her next move.
Just as Yapyap had fully hilted himself inside a second time, the great green mare clamped her thighs around him, holding him in place while only allowing a minimal amount of movement for continued thrusting. Fable sat upright, holding Broken Heart’s plot to her face. Broken Heart, still in the process of climaxing, managed to regain a modicum of balance by grabbing onto the shoulders of the equally surprised Yapyap. The two just stared at one another for a second, neither terribly certain what was happening.
“Haha! Now it’s mah turn, ya villainous villains!” proclaimed Fable to the new captives. “With mah wand back in mah possi-posis-posisus… mah grasp,” she settled, “Ah’ve got all mah powers back.”
“H-how did yeeee!” Broken Heart squealed as Fable dove back in for another mouthful. She was still coming down from her earlier climax and so was extra sensitive.
“My ba-had,” groaned Yapyap. He’d been trying to keep his movements careful and controlled, but the sudden jostling from Fable had pushed him over the edge and he now emptied his balls into her foal hole.
Fable felt the liquid warmth in her love tunnel and it gave her a brief buzz that surpassed any kind of alcohol. The amount wasn’t much compared to what she was used to, but her body didn’t seem to mind as her innards gripped that stallionhood and milked it for all it was worth. She held both partners in place, drinking her fill of Broken Heart’s climax as Yapyap’s spurts shot inside her nether lips. She waited for the two to finish cumming before gently setting the unicorn down atop the human and sat up on her knees.
“Ha ha!” Fable laughed triumphantly as she set her fists on her hips and posed heroically. “Now Ah’ve got ya right where Ah want ya!”
“Bu-but how?” Broken Heart panted back. She was already recovering from her climax, but the surge of hormones had cause her to become a little clingy with the male in her arms. She sat up, partially carrying him with her. “You were defeated. I had you at my mercy!”
Still grinning down at her adversaries, Fable reached behind her back. She made a tense face followed by a more relaxed sigh. Her hand came back into view, now holding her wand. The moisture along the shaft glistened in the light. “Ya’ll made a big mistake givin’ this back ta me,” she said through a toothy grin. “Even untransformed, it still gives me enough o’ a power boost to put you apathetic jerks in yer place.”
“Oops,” Yapyap said flatly. His face was half submerged in Broken Heart’s cleavage.
“When this is over,” Broken Heart said in a stage whisper, “I’m going to make it so that you can’t walk for a week.”
“I think that was a given,” Yapyap deadpanned back. “Well, since we’re doomed anyway.” He peeled off what remained of Broken Heart’s top, exposing her nipples for all the world to see. She’d only just taken notice when he latched onto her left breast and began suckling.
“D-damn you all!” Broken Heart hissed out as a hand wrapped around Yapyap’s head to hold him in place. He was teasing her nipple with his tongue while his teeth nibbled ever so gently around her areola. Her other hand migrated south and took hold of the smaller male’s buttock, squeezing it and earning a surprised squeak from her minion-turned-lover.
“Oh no,” Fable cautioned as she took several knee steps forward, casting the two in her shadow. “Don’t ya’ll think ya can get away with ignorin’ me.”
Broken Heart’s body reacted without her consent, moving to all fours with Yapyap directly beneath her. She pushed her butt up and flagged her tail in prime mounting position. Once done, she craned her neck to look behind her and gave her enemy an apologetic smile. She mouthed ‘sorry.’
Fable gave a huff and gave the smaller mare a rough push, rolling her onto her back. “All ya’ll know is hate ‘n’ misery,” she chided angrily. She lifted Broken Heart’s right leg up high and rested the hoof on her shoulder. Once she was certain the hoof was secure, she grabbed the smaller mare’s hips, parted her thighs, and yanked until both nether lips were brought together in a passionate kiss. “But Ah’m a teach ya what its like to feel love!”
“Oh Faust yes!” Broken Heart cried. It was like Fable’s clit was trying to wrestle hers into submission. She immediately began humping back. Character or no, she had every intention of facing such a struggle head on.
Fable was now struggling to keep her breathing even. She’d already recovered from her previous climax, but it had left her incredibly sensitive down there. The way her winking lips were snogging the unicorn’s lips had a ferocious intensity to it. It was like both their marehoods were trying to devour one another. Each contact of their clits gave her a surge that could almost be described as a mini-orgasm all its own. She made sure to communicate this delight with deep moans of pleasure, which the unicorn excitedly returned.
Having been momentarily forgotten, Yapyap just sat back for the time being and gently tugged at his slick pecker. The sounds of both mares humping had already brought him back to full mast. The way they moaned, grunted, and the way their breasts made smacking sounds as they bounced around was hypnotizing. The wand had been switched on and was being used to tease at Fable’s nipples. His eyes crawled along every square inch of their bodies, lingering the most extensively around their pussies, where the most lewd of squelching noises was being made.
Yapyap knew it wouldn’t take much to blow his load from just watching. However, he was careful to keep his movements controlled and measured. He wanted to save himself for his ladies, after all.
Broken Heart was the first to spy the spectator. “Yapyap, you traitor,” she hissed. “Don’t just sit there. Help me!” None of this was part of the script they’d come up with. That had long been left behind. However, she was too engrossed in the story to drop it now.
Yapyap thought hurriedly of what he should do. Both mares’ pussies were currently occupied and he doubted he’d be able to squeeze between them. He hadn’t had Fable’s ass yet, but that seemed too predictable. He wanted to make her happy, but he also wanted to break from his usual role in these group fuckings. Then Broken Heart’s words clicked in his head and he had his idea. “You got it, boss!”
Fable slowed down in her humping to watch as Yapyap crawled up to the pair. Her grip tightened around the wand in anticipation of his character trying to take it back. Instead, she was briefly puzzled when the little fella ignored her completely and moved up to Broken Heart.
“What are you doing?” Broken Heart asked, more confused than annoyed. Her other leg had wrapped around Fable as best it could to give her an added bit of leverage as they fucked. “I said to-”
“Help you,” Yapyap cut her off with an impish grin. He sat up tall and threw a leg over his queen’s head, casting a shadow over her face with his ass, taint, and balls. “Here’s helping.” His voice was chipper and somewhat naïve sounding. He grabbed hold of his cock and angled it downward.
Eyes wide in understanding, Broken Heart opened her mouth as if to protest. However, her maw was quickly filled with the divine flavor of human cock meat. The taste was accented with the fruity tang of the earth mare’s liquid orgasm, making the flavor all the more intense as she hungrily suckled. Yapyap’s balls pressed down on the lower part of her nose, but her snout had mostly been shoved up into the human’s taint and ass. She inhaled deeply as his sweaty musk tickled her nostrils and her mind was drowned in euphoria.
“Hehe. Good boy, Yapyap,” Fable praised, picking up the pace. “That’ll sure help things along.”
“Oh good,” Yapyap said as he rotated his ass around, rubbing his dirty underside all over his unicorn’s face as she hungrily sucked and licked at her treat. Her tongue work was a little hasty, and maybe even needy. He knew that she wanted to taste him as quickly as possible. “For a second, I was worried we might be double-teaming her by accident.”
“Nah,” Fable assured as she leaned forward and let her baby feeders hang before his face. “Now, how ‘bout ya’ll really help out ‘n’ show me what yer made of?”
Yapyap didn’t bother speaking. Instead, he lunged forward and took Fables great green breast in his mouth. The other he kneaded passionately between his fingers. He took her increased volume as a sign of approval as he experimentally nibbled. She liked that too.
The trio had formed a somewhat lopsided pyramid, ever mindful of how their actions were affecting one another. Fable had one arm wrapped around Yapyap’s back to keep him from pulling away and toppling their formation. Much as she wanted to taste his lips, he was far too short to reach her from this position. She was content enough with his hungry suckling and massaging of her teats for now. Her other hand – still holding the wand – moved down and wedged the vibrating tip between the two marehoods, setting off fireworks in both mares’ brains.
Broken Heart was now rotating her hips, trying to grind her sex into the vibrations with every ounce of strength she could spare. However, her position afforded her little leverage. Instead, she sought stimulation from her own hands as she massaged her breasts. Her body was running largely on autopilot as the olfactory overload of Yapyap’s taint was making it especially difficult to think. She could barely even swirl her tongue the way he liked as she hungrily suckled his cock.
Yapyap looked up into Fable’s eyes and shared her lament. He too wished to kiss her right now. Those sorrowful eyes shot an arrow through his heart, but he knew there was simply no way. If Fable leaned too far forward, she ran the risk of overstretching Broken Heart’s leg. As such, he elected to make it up to her by attacking her breasts with even greater ferocity, her moans of delight music to his ears as he humped into Broken Heart’s mouth.
Then it came.
It started with Honey. The feeling of dominating her smaller lovers while in the guise of her favorite character had finally pushed her over the edge. Her juices sprayed out, spreading around as the liquid bounced off the vibrating wand. Moonlight followed almost immediately after. Her switch had been flipped by Honey’s cry of ecstasy and her entire body went rigid as her juices joined those of her future fellow concubine. Moonlight’s climax had caused her to give one last intense suck, drawing Thomas’ climax right out of him and into her throat. All three bodies tensed as the two on top fell into one another’s arms for support. They panted as the stupor of orgasm took hold. Thomas at least had the necessary state of mind to lean forward enough to allow Moonlight to breathe.
They stayed like that for almost a minute before Thomas decided to get up. His spent cock slid from Moonlight’s mouth with a wet, lewd slurp and he sat down beside her head. Likewise, Honey carefully moved Moonlight’s leg back down. It cramped something fierce, but the gesture was appreciated. The trio continued to say nothing and simply stare fondly at one another.
This is it, Thomas thought. This was the moment. As open as ponies were about sex, it was still something regarded as precious. And this moment shared with these two mares was absolutely something to be treasured. It sealed the deal, so to speak, about how the three felt about one another. He knew this intellectually, but also felt it a little on the emotional level. Honey had given herself to Moonlight and him. In turn, they have given themselves to her, having unity in their actions, exchanging carnal pleasures, and deepening their emotional bonds with each other.
The moment that followed was of quiet understanding and grateful smiles. No words were necessary. All were happy to have shared this moment with one another. And then, as if by magic, Honey got her second wind.
“Streamers!” Surprise screamed as she ran around the room, directing the others. “More streamers. And balloons! Moonlight, blow those balloons like you blow Thomas!” Moonlight chuckled as she followed the mare’s instructions. “Silver. How’s that album coming?”
“Slowly,” Silver answered tiredly from the table. Around her were strewn clippings from newspapers and magazines, all depicting Princess Luna, but only the ones with positive headlines. “I feel like a stalker putting this together.”
“As opposed to all those Luna posters in your room?” Thomas asked from on high. Because of Surprise’s inability to simply wait for a ladder to arrive, Thomas was bequeathed the task of hanging streamers and tiny cutouts of the moon on the ceiling, and all from atop Surprise’s shoulders as she flew about. “Also, I really think a mare with wings should be doing this.”
Surprise hushed him as she hovered from set to set. Amongst the various attractions was a buffet with a wide variety of options. These included a cold bar, a hot bar with trays equipped with heating runes, and a wine bar. They had voted and decided against any sort of theme as the point of this party was just for everyone to enjoy coming together. It was meant to be more like a banquet with as many options as possible for the attendees to enjoy; mostly consisting of dishes that were high on calories that were fated to be burned with prejudice. Likewise, the plates were porcelain white with leafy decorations since it was voted that moon-themed plates would look too foalish. A record player had been set up in the corner. Lastly there was one empty table that the white mare refused to stop staring at. “It’s mocking me,” she muttered conspiratorially. “It’s mocking me with its empty incompleteness.”
“Honey’s only been gone like ten minutes,” Thomas reassured calmly, scratching the mare behind the ears in the way that all ponies seemed to like and earning a soft coo. “Just give her a bit.”
“The guards will help her right?” Surprise asked, directing her question at Moonlight. “They won’t just stand around and let her carry that big thing all by herself.”
Moonlight smiled sympathetically at her white friend’s worry. “I’m certain they will.”
“‘Cause it’s super important the seal not be broken before we’re ready, or else it’ll start melting,” Surprise reminded. “And if it melts, it’ll be soup. If its soup, it’ll get all runny and spill everywhere. If it spills, everything’ll get sticky, and not in the good way, making a really yucky shluck sound anytime anypony steps on it. The squishy squelching will be so loud and annoying that it’ll drown out the music, ruining the mood and killing the party!” Surprise was shouting now. “And if the party’s ruined, Luna’ll be so depressed that she might-”
“Surprise!” Thomas shouted as he grabbed the floating mare by the tail and yanked her down, forcing the panicked mare to look up at him.
“Oh hi, Thomas,” Surprise greeted high-spiritedly, apparently having already forgotten her prior panic. “What cha want?”
Thomas just stared back with a deadpan look as he came to terms with the mare’s spontaneous mood shift. “Everything’ll be fine,” he said as if trying to calm a wild animal, which was probably more accurate than he cared to imagine. “Honey will get back soon, we’ll finish setting up on time, and Luna will love your party.”
“Do you really think so?” Surprised asked with measured hope. Apparently she hadn’t completely forgotten her earlier freak-out.
Thomas smiled and kissed Surprise’s forehead. “I know so.” He chuckled as he looked down at her, and then below her at the others. “It’s alright girls. I think we’re good now.”
Fearful of where Surprise’s freak-out might lead, both Moonlight and Silver had grabbed onto the white mare’s legs in an effort to hold her down. However, it seemed that Surprise only just now noticed that the pair were even there, making them both feel especially small.
“Heh, oops,” Surprise said apologetically as she slowly descended back to the floor.
Honey arrived shortly after and preparations were able to resume.
**********
“And you are certain that is all you can say?”
“Yes, Your Highness,” Attentive said evenly as she stood at attention in Luna’s office. “Surprise has had your room on lockdown for the last three hours. No pony in or out, save for Honey, who went to retrieve a dish of an unspecified nature.” She had been grilled by Princess Luna for the last half hour over the activities of her harem, answering what felt like the exact same questions over and over again.
“Unspecified?” Luna asked incredulously as she leaned over her desk. “Surely you can do better than that?”
“My sincerest apologies, Your Highness.” Attentive remained as stoic as ever. “The chefs refused to divulge any further details, asking that we not inquire further.”
“I do not like this,” Luna said as she touched her chin in thought. “What about the package delivered at midnight? Were you able to discern its origin?’
Attentive flipped through her notes. “No, Your Highness. It appears that Surprise has anticipated our actions, having ordered the package weeks ago and arranging it to be delivered to random spots all over the city before arriving at your room at the designated hour.” She checked her notes once more to make sure she’d read them right. “I fear there is simply no way of knowing what your harem has planned before night court ends in,” she paused to check a stopwatch, “four minutes.”
Luna blinked in disbelief as she slumped back in her chair. “Thomas warned me to be wary of the mare’s abilities,” she said in a tone of exasperation. “I had called him silly when he compared her to Pinkie Pie, claiming that the both of them had the ability to defy the laws of reality in a way that has not been seen since Discord.”
“The mare has displayed an admittedly unsettling level of cunning,” Attentive agreed. “Shall I have the guards open the doors and look?” she asked, knowing the answer beforehand.
“Alas, no,” Luna sighed. “With all the work they’ve put into this secrecy, it would be terribly rude to have others simply barge in before they are ready.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” Attentive said evenly, suppressing the urge to point out that Luna’s reasoning ran entirely counter to what she’d practically been obsessing over for the last few hours. “Will that be all?”
“I believe so.”
Luna finished up what paperwork she could in the next few minutes until Attentive announced the time. The dark alicorn could not deny the butterflies in her stomach as she stood and walked out of the room with the grace befitting a Princess. She politely acknowledged every servant and guard along the way, though her mind was focused exclusively on her destination.
They’re in my room, she thought, feeling her heartbeat quicken. My harem is in my room, planning something they want to keep hidden. Luna heard a slight gurgle from her stomach, telling her that it was nearly dinner time. Momentarily she considered taking a detour to the kitchens to grab a snack, something to settle her nerves, like an entire cake or two, but decided against it. Surprise had apparently spent weeks planning the evening’s activities down to the very hour. To delay the white mare the satisfaction would be nothing less than a slap in the face, so she marched on until she arrived.
Luna breathed heavily in nervous-citement as she stood outside the door to her room, thankful to the guards for pretending not to notice. Get ahold of yourself, silly filly, she internally chastised. You’re acting as though you’re marching to your own execution. Thank Faust ‘Tia is not here, lest she have teasing fodder for the next decade. Manifesting an invisible hand to slap some sense into herself, Luna breathed heavily and telekinetically pushed the doors open.
“Surprise!” the harem cheered together.
A shower of confetti fell over Luna like rainbow snow, forcing the dignified alicorn’s face to split in a silly grin. Her eyes roamed all over the room, taking in the extravagance of all that her lovers had prepared for her. However, amidst all the streamers, moon-themed decorations, gentle yet fun music setting the mood, and the wide variety of aromatic food, there were a few details Luna fixated on.
Her harem was naked. Sure, Luna knew it was a coin toss as to whether her mares would be nude or in their loincloths. However, it was Thomas’ nudity that she fixated on. The human was naked, in front of all these mares, and he was sporting a partial erection, no doubt in anticipation of what was to come. To bolster this theory, Luna eyed the bodies of the other mares and noted the subtle indications of physical arousal they all presented. Tails were partially flagged or wagging happily, nipples were in varying states of hardness, and wings were twitching. It was making her body hot.
Feeling overdressed, and just a little overheated, Luna snapped her fingers and did away with her dress. Surprise must have taken this as the cue that Luna had formally joined their naked party, for she pounced into the alicorn’s arms. Luna gave a surprised huff and had to bend her knees to handle the white mare’s weight. She held Surprise bridal style as the mare excitedly giggled, kicking her legs and throwing her arms around Luna’s neck. Her cheer quickly proved to be contagious.
“Please never do that with me,” Thomas said with a smile, happy that everyone else was happy. It was almost enough to make him forget how nervous he was at the impending sex-scapades. “I don’t think I could handle it.”
“Never say never, Thomas,” Luna said in a hushed, seductive whisper as her face inched closer to Surprise’s. The two rubbed noses affectionately as the alicorn’s hand slid down the white mare’s back and grabbed a handful of plush white rump, making her squeal happily. “You miss out on so much fun that way.”
The group dispersed after that to various points of interest and mingled. Honey immediately made for the wine bar, pouring herself a glass and filling it instantly. Surprise pulled Moonlight and Silver out into the middle of the room and got a dance going. Luna giddily spied a tub of water filled with floating apples and teleported over to play. This left Thomas to mosey on over to the bar to take in the sights with Honey.
“Enjoying the view?” Thomas asked. Luna had crouched down to her knees and bent over to begin bobbing, shaking her tantalizing rear at the bar. The human couldn’t help but smile as he noticed the way Honey’s eyes were fixed on the larger mare’s plump backside, and the way she hungrily licked her lips.
“Uh, what?” Honey asked, shaken from her temporary trance. “What’d ya say?”
Thomas chuckled at her response. “That was a good suggestion.” He indicated the wooden tub.
“Yer the one who suggested party games,” she replied, giving his shoulder a nudge.
“Bah!” Luna swore, likely having failed to achieve her prize. “Cursed morsels. You will not defy your Princess.” Her outburst earned chortles from her audience.
“Why don’t you give her some pointers,” Thomas suggested, giving her a nudge back.
“What?” Honey whisper hissed. “Ya really want me ta-”
“Just go play with her,” Thomas urged. “I’m… 75% certain she won’t bite.”
Honey audibly gulped as she turned her eyes back on the glorious moon as it shook to the rhythm. Thomas could almost see the gears of her mind turning. Despite everything, it was still culturally ingrained in her to revere the Princess, and doing things like offering assistance somehow seemed rude. And as Silver had demonstrated, it would take quite some time before such behavior dissipated completely. However, Honey was not the sort to back down so easily. With another nod and a lick of her lips, the earth mare summoned the full might of her courage and strolled over to the tub. She paused behind Luna, obviously giving her backside some deep consideration before circling around to the opposite end.
Thomas laughed to himself as he picked up what remained of Honey’s drink and gave it an experimental sip. After all, they’d already swapped fluids, so it’d be silly to start getting squeamish after everything else. At least that’s what he told himself as he forced himself to take a swig. However, the moment the liquid touched his tongue he jerked back and held the cup away. “Strong,” he choked out and set the glass back on the table. He turned around and sampled much of the buffet, anything to wash out the taste of the unexpectedly strong cider.
“Well… played,” Silver panted as she walked up to the human, her body gleaming in sweat.
“Wow. What happened to you?” Thomas asked, understandably surprised by the mare’s intense fatigue.
“Surprise,” Silver exhaled, gesturing with her thumb over to where the pegasus was animatedly spinning the unicorn around.
Thomas chuckled nervously as he watched the mares move, understanding Silver’s plight. By the looks of it, Moonlight was more of a prop than Surprise’s dance partner with the way the latter was spinning the former around like a baton. “Uh, hey,” he said with a hint of apprehension as he approached the dancing pair.
The dancing stopped as Surprise allowed the slightly woozy Moonlight to fall to her hooves. “Hey Thomas! Wanna join?”
Thomas glanced at Moonlight’s disheveled look before beaming back at Surprise. “Sure!”
‘Thank you,’ Moonlight mouthed silently as she stepped aside and moved to join Silver by the bar. In addition to alcohol, the bar also boasted a number of herbal stimulants and other energy drinks. It was just convenient to keep all the liquids in the same place.
Thomas joined Surprise in dancing, but was a little surprised to find she didn’t just grab him and use his body like a replacement baton. Her movements were still wild and energetic, but there was no denying how much gentler she was being with him. Is this because I’m a puny human, or a stallion? Ultimately, Thomas decided it didn’t matter and to just enjoy the dance, though Surprise’s bouncing boobies didn’t hurt his decision.
The sound of mares laughing caught Thomas’ ear and he turned around to see Luna cheering happily through her mouthful of apple. Honey was holding the alicorn’s hand up in shared triumph as she too sported a big red apple in her teeth.
The party went on like this for roughly an hour, with ponies and human wandering casually between activities, doing things for as long as they were fun before paying a stop to the buffet to recharge. The cake was especially favored among the larger mares. As they all moved about, they griped about the weather schedule, shared rumors and speculation about events in distant lands, and generally talked a lot about nothing. Thomas felt at ease watching and listening to this chatter, remembering the gatherings of his own exceptionally large family. Aside from the general nudity, the biggest difference was how he’d made more of an effort to be involved, asking questions and giving his input. He cared for these mares, and wanted to know about their lives. They, in turn, pressed him for any relevant details in his own life.
It was around the time that the buffet tables were half empty that Silver called them all to the bed to have a look at the album she’d assembled. Luna quickly and eagerly flipped through the pages, enthralled as she would be with any other good book. She was beside herself with all the work Silver had put into assembling everything so beautifully, but the silver mare was quick inform that the others had done a lot of the leg work in collecting everything. Luna was struggling to hold back the tears as she hugged each and every one of them for doing so much to make her feel so loved. She didn’t speak, but they all understood her well enough.
“Hey guys!” Surprise called out. “Wanna play truth or dare?”
There was a chorus of agreement from all other mares, leaving Thomas to chuckle as he joined in. The harem quickly formed a circle. Surprise pulled out a bottle from her mane and set it in the middle. This led Honey to suggest that whoever the bottle landed on should have to take a shot to give themselves a boost to courage, and have to take two shots if they failed to tell the truth or go through with the dare as punishment. It went without saying that it wasn’t a real party unless everyone got shitfaced, so they all agreed. With all that settled, Surprise gave the bottle the first spin.
“Oh! Me-me-me!” Surprise cheered as the bottle landed on her. “I win first spin!” Honey poured the mare her agreed upon liquor, which was downed in a second.
“Alright, Surprise,” Moonlight said deviously. “Truth or dare?”
Surprise leaned back on her hands and opened her legs wide, leaving nothing to the imagination as she thought. “Hmmmm… Dare!” she declared excitedly.
“Ah’ve got one!” Honey declared sinisterly. “We’ll do somethin’ small since the games just gettin’ started. Ah dare you, Surprise, ta stand on yer head fer five minutes.”
“Pssh! Is that all?” Surprise asked dismissively. “I could do that in my sleep.” Crouching her body low, the white mare sprung up like a jack-in-the-box, did a one eighty spin in midair, and landed back on the floor with a distinct ‘boing’ sound. She bounced a little as she sat there arms folded and cross legged, supported entirely by her springy mane while her tail hung down her back. Her breasts were giving the middle finger to gravity by holding their prior position and not smacking her right in the face. “See? Easy!”
“Excellent!” Luna applauded in delight as the others just looked on with varying degrees of fear and uncertainty.
“You heard that too, right?” Thomas whispered.
“Ah reckon she’s got somethin’ hidden in that mane o’ hers.”
“Are you using some sort of enchantment?” Moonlight asked openly.
“Hmm… Nope,” Surprise answered plainly. “Just a neat trick I do. Great for parties.”
“Most certainly,” Luna giggled in acceptance. “Your talents never fail to impress.”
For the sake of her sanity, Silver decided to pretend that the impossible mare wasn’t being impossible and gave the bottle another spin.
“Oh boy,” Thomas sighed as the bottle landed on him, much to the elation of the other mares who broke out in giggles.
“Alright Thomas,” Surprise said. “Truth… or daaaaaaaaare?”
Traditionally, the safer bet would have been to just go with truth. However, knowing these ladies, they’d still likely come up with something just as embarrassing for him to say. Further, Thomas was feeling oddly daring. He hadn’t ingested any alcohol, but being surrounded by so many good friends in such a lively atmosphere was really having an effect on him. “Ya know what? I’m gonna go with dare,” Thomas stated defiantly and slapped his chest with a balled fist. “Hit me with your best shot.”
Honey did just that, handing Thomas a glass. It was a lot stronger than he was used to, but he managed to choke it down.
Surprise applauded his declaration without compromising her balance. “Oh. I’ve got one. I dare you toooooo… make Honey say uncle.”
“Do what?”
“You heard me,” Surprise asserted. “Honey’s just sitting there all proud and sure of herself. I want to see if you can make her say uncle.”
Thomas turned slowly to face the earth mare. He found her find her smirking sinisterly back at him. She even mimicked his earlier chest pounding in challenge, making her breasts bounce.
“Bring it, shrimp,” she said with unwavering confidence.
“Okay,” Thomas accepted nonchalantly as he stood and looked down at the mare. He began circling silently around her, eyeing every inch of her body as he scanned for weaknesses. All the while his audience watched with bated breath, eager to see what he would try. He could tell they all thought that this was an unfair challenge. Even Moonlight was shooting dirty looks at Surprise. Although none bothered pleading with Honey to try and go easy on him. She wouldn’t, anyway, and it’d be rude to both her and Thomas to even ask.
Thomas, however, was not discouraged. The differences between the two were inescapable. And if it were something like an arm wrestling match, he’d probably just surrender. But this wasn’t a challenge that depended entirely on physical strength, and Thomas had a few tricks up his nonexistent sleeve.
“Well?” Honey asked impatiently after the human’s fourth lap around her. “We all know there ain’t no way yer gonna get one up on me. Ah’ve probably got more muscle in one arm than ya’ll do in yer whole body, no offense,” she chuckled. “Ain’t no pony gonna blame ya fer not bestin’ me, so ya might as well hurry up ‘n’ try somethin’ so we can keep this game goin’.” However, despite her bravado, there was something about Thomas’ nonchalant attitude in his circling, that unreadable expression of his, that was making her uncomfortable. She knew, knew that he was just trying to figure out the proper angle from which to tackle her and knock her off balance, or something else along the lines of a mouse tackling an oak. She hoped that he would just hurry up and get it over with. “If yer tryin’ ta make me dizzy, yer gonna have ta do a lot more than thaaaHAAA!” She cried in surprise when Thomas gently blew on her ear. She then pulled away and hissed angrily at him. “N-no fair!”
“Oh?” Thomas asked casually. “What ruled did I break?”
“Well… you…” Honey didn’t like this. She was no stranger to the ‘uncle’ game, as her family and friends were quite fond of wrestling matches. Such matches were usually decided by the size of the pony, meaning Thomas could never win if he played the normal way. Except he wasn’t. He’s a crafty one, she remembered. “It won’t work, ya know.”
“What won’t?” Thomas asked in faux innocence as he resumed his circling, reminding Honey of a buzzard looming down over a dead or dying beast, which was her in this case.
“That!” she growled as she followed him intently. “Your… That thing you do. That human thing.”
Thomas slapped his hands down on the mare’s shoulders, earning the faintest yelp of surprise before beginning a gentle massage. “Oh Honey,” he sighed in disappointment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you hated me that much.”
“What!?” Honey snapped. “Ah didn’t say that! Don’t go puttin’ words in mah mouth,” she demanded defensively.
“You don’t?” Thomas asked hopefully as he leaned forward and pressed his cheek to her neck. “Oh Honey. I can’t tell you how happy this makes me.”
Diabolical! Silver mentally exclaimed. Using his masculine wiles to breach her guard. I never thought he had it in him.
Way to go. Moonlight beamed as she nodded her approval, though she’d be lying is she said she wasn’t a little envious of Honey at the moment.
Clever boy, Luna congratulated as she licked her lips.
Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows. Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows. Those were the only thoughts running through Surprise’s head as she looked on, giggling to herself.
“Oh Honey,” Thomas cooed sensually as he slid his hands over her shoulders and down to the tops of her breasts, careful to avoid her areolas. “Your body’s so tense. You want me to… help with that?”
Honey whined anxiously as she felt his fingers stroke dangerously close to her perked nipples.
“What was that?” Thomas asked as he brought his pelvis up to her back, poking his erect penis into her soft fur. “I didn’t quite catch that.”
“Yer lucky you’re a stallion,” Honey growled. “Ah like you, but if you was a mare, Ah swear Ah’d sit on ya ‘til ya begged for mercy.”
Thomas made a thoughtful sound as his fingers veered around her nipples and moved beneath her breasts, lifting them slightly. He then whispered softly into her ear. “Ya know, after spending two hours being sat on by the immensity known as Luna’s butt, being sat on by any other mare kind of loses its intimidation quality.”
“Seriously?” Honey deadpanned.
“Seriously,” Thomas replied evenly, only to spring his trap and tighten his grip on the mare’s breasts.
“Ah!” Honey yelled in both pain and shock. “Gah. Uncle!” It had all happened so fast. The words had left her lips before she knew what she was saying. Somehow, Thomas’ distraction had fully circumvented her guard and left her with no defense; only the knowledge of the game they were playing.
A silence befell the room as it slowly dawned on Honey that she’d lost. The others were also quiet. Some smiled, but no one cheered. Instead, most looked just as shocked as the green mare for Thomas’ duplicitous victory.
“Uh, Honey?” Thomas asked after feeling the silence had gone on for too long. He hoped he hadn’t gone too far.
Her face as cold as stone, Honey reached behind her, grabbed Thomas by the shoulder, and yanked him back around with her powerful arm. Moonlight tensed, ready to spring into action. The human barely had time to blink before the mare aggressively kissed him, holding his head in place to cut off any retreat. Her tongue forced its way between his lips, pushing his own organ to the side as she belligerently explored inside his mouth.
“Hey!” Moonlight cried, less out of protection and more irritation at the mare for jumping the gun.
Honey ignored the orange mare, but let him go a few seconds later.
“Oh wow,” Thomas said in a daze as he lay limply in Honey’s arms. “That was… wow!”
Surprise whistled approvingly, still upside down. “Can I have some of that?”
Silver squeaked, which most took as her sharing the sentiment.
“Sorry,” Honey said in a way that didn’t make her sound very sorry at all. “Ah just, well, don’t take too good ta teasin’, ya hear?”
“I… yeah,” Thomas said with a nod as he found his feet and wobbled back over to his previous position. There, Moonlight proceeded to fuss over him to make sure Honey hadn’t bruised or hurt him in any way. The unicorn shot the mare a dirty look, but wavered sympathetically when she saw the way Honey was rubbing her chest.
“You shouldn’t be so rough with a mare’s breasts,” Moonlight chided gently. “If I were her, I might have done the same.” She snorted a laugh. “I’d probably do the same even if you were gentle.”
“Yeah,” Thomas averted his eyes sheepishly. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Then, at Surprise’s coaxing, he took his turn to spin the bottle.
“Oh dear,” Silver said apprehensively when the bottle stopped on her.
Silver gulped, nervous at the mare’s intentions. While her pride told her not to be the first to avoid the challenge of the dare, she decided to err on the side of caution. “I choose truth.” She held out her hand and accepted Honey’s drink.
Despite her obvious disappointment, Moonlight still gave her question its due consideration. “Who would you say is the sexiest pony in the room?”
Silver perked up and opened her mouth to answer.
“But you can’t say Luna,” Moonlight quickly amended.
“Well then it’s not very truthful, is it?” Silver retorted smugly.
“It’d be too predictable,” Surprise commented.
Silver touched her chin in thought. “Now when you say ‘sexiest pony’, does that include Thomas? I’m not saying I’d choose him,” she quickly amended. “I just wish to understand the rules.”
“Fair enough,” Moonlight agreed. “Not counting Luna, who do you think is the sexiest… person in this room?”
Thomas watched Silver delve into thought. Guess there really aren’t any fears about jealousy around here. Though is that just the harem-herd thing, or ponies in general?
“Honey,” Silver said in satisfaction. “Though Surprise has much more ample assets, Honey’s body has a near perfect blend of muscle and softness, granting both cushion and endurance,” she explained with analytical objectivity.
Silently Thomas watched for everyone’s reactions. Honey pressed out her chest out in pride, Surprise whickered in mild disappointment, Moonlight gave a casual shrug of acceptance, and Luna seemed to be considering Silver’s words as she intently eyed up the earth mare’s body. That would have been so bad if these were human girls.
Silver took her turn, spinning the bottle until it landed on Thomas.
“Oh boy,” he muttered apprehensively. All eyes were trained on him as the mares waited expectantly for his answer. “This time, I guess I’ll go with truth, too.”
“Very well then,” Silver agreed with an elegant flip of her mane. “For your question, I would like your male insight on a matter that has puzzled me since we met.”
“Alright. Shoot,” Thomas agreed with an accepting shrug.
“I realize you might be a little biased, but do males prefer a mare’s breasts or her plot?”
Thomas folded his arms over his chest and bowed his head sagely, but really it was just a cover so they wouldn’t see him laugh. “A question as old as time immemorial,” he pontificated, channeling his best Dumbledore. “Alas, there is no easy answer. Fine and exceptional arguments have been made for either, and will continue to be made for many centuries to come. However, in my humble opinion-”
“Get to the good part!” Surprise interrupted, still upside down.
Thomas rolled his eyes and continued normally. “I kinda like both, but I’m pretty sure ponies in general are ass lovers.”
“How, pray tell, did you come by this theory?” Luna asked with a girlish laugh while also trying to sound scholarly.
Thomas shrugged. “Eh. Spend a lot of time on the outside looking in, I notice things. You guys start looking down more often when a mare’s facing away than when she’s facing forward.”
“Interesting. I have noticed that as well,” Silver concurred. The other mares gave their own affirmations and agreements, trying to sound extra posh and scholarly while they did so, before Thomas had had enough and gave the bottle a spin.
Luna applauded giddily as it landed on her. “Zons!”
“Alright,” Thomas agreed. “Truth or dare.”
“Dare! We choose dare!” Luna announced as she took her shot.
Thomas laughed at Luna’s enthusiasm. “First time playing?”
“Verily! This game is only a product of modern culture, now hurry up and dare us,” she urged. “But don’t you dare mollycoddle us, er, me. I know that these games are meant to embarrass, and I do not want you to go easy on me.”
“Kay. Cool.” The human nodded as he thought. If Luna wanted embarrassment, that’s what she was going to get. “Go outside,” he began evenly, “and inform the guard that you just farted.”
“Treason!” Silver pointed in accusation.
“Oh boy,” Honey choked, trying to stifle her chortles.
“At least it wasn’t me this time,” Surprise deadpanned.
“Did we discuss what happens if you opt out?” Moonlight asked anxiously. Not that Luna would ever do something so cowardly. That would be terribly unbefitting of a Princess. However, it was important that they all understood the rules.
“No need.” Luna stood to her full height, looking deathly serious. “The Princess of the Night has been issued a formal challenge. I shall not disgrace myself by turning away with my tail between my legs.” And she turned with a bold stride, marching toward the door.
Silver impotently reached out to stop her precious alicorn from debasing herself. When that proved fruitless, she turned to Thomas and attempted to set fire to him with her mind for committing such a fiendish act. He eventually averted his gaze in discomfort.
Luna pushed the door open and kept it that way with her hoof so the others could watch. It just seemed appropriate that there was evidence that she followed through. All leaned in as far as they could, watching the way Luna stood with literal naked authority before the two guards who patiently – and a little awkwardly – waited for her orders.
“Guards,” Luna stated authoritatively. They snapped to attention, because this was the voice that usually preceded orders, the important kind. “W… I just, that is to say,” she stammered in a manner most unbecoming of a Princess as the guards listened, patiently what they were certain was a matter of utmost urgency. “I… farted.”
The guards continued to stare, giving no visible response other than a rapid increase in blinking.
Unable to take it anymore, Luna dashed back inside and slammed the door behind her. Breathing heavily with her back to the door, Luna looked up and revealed her stoic mask had been washed away. “That,” she panted, “was terrifying.” However, before Thomas could start hating himself for the horrible thing he’d done, her deep breathing quickly shifted into nervous chortles, and then a full belly laugh as she fell to her knees and gripped her stomach. Eventually her melodious laughter spread to the others, even Silver, as they all struggled to keep upright.
“That was awesome!” Surprise cheered, finally right side up again.
“Ah don’t think Ah’d be able to do that fer strangers,” Honey said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
“Way to go, Luna,” Moonlight cheered and offered a hearty applause, which the others quickly joined in.
Looking as though her mouth had been permanently frozen in a smile, Luna managed to stand back up and took an exaggerated bow. “Thank you. Thank you. You are too kind.”
Tension fully washed away and smiles lingering on everyone’s faces, Luna eventually grabbed something from the snack bar before making her way back to the circle and taking her seat. “Thank you Thomas,” she said with a contented sigh. “That was… surprisingly fun.”
“That’s a relief,” Thomas admitted with a sigh.
“However,” Luna maintained a serene smile as she spoke, “because of the humiliation you imposed upon your Princess,” she giggled cutely, “expect no mercy should your turn come again.”
The chill of dread ran up Thomas’ spine. “B-but you told me to.”
“And your point is?” Luna asked, continuing to give the icy smile of death.
Thomas looked around the room, searching for someone to back him up. Silver, unsurprisingly, just sinisterly rubbed her hands together, Honey had a look of malicious interest, Surprise just kept smiling in a way the human didn’t care for, and Moonlight just looked apologetic. “Et tu, Moony?”
“I don’t know what that means,” Moonlight admitted sorrowfully, “but I’ll try to make mine quick, okay?”
“Uh, I have depression,” Thomas offered cautiously. Normally he didn’t care to have others walk on eggshells around him, but if it would save his ass, possibly literally, he would proudly puss out.
“Have you not also expressed a desire to be treated the same as everypony else?” Luna asked with faux kindness. “I believe your words were something along the lines of,” her voice suddenly shifted to an exact replica of Thomas’, “I hate when you guys feel like you gotta walk on eggshells around me.”
“Dammit, past-me.” Thomas bemoaned, slumping and conceding to his fate.
“Alas, I have further unfortunate news,” Luna informed with faux sympathy. “I have spoken with Moonlight,” she motioned to the apologetic looking mare, “and she has informed me that tonight is one of your better moods.” She smirked and wet her lips lustfully. “I have faith that you can handle yourself.”
“Double dammit.”
Luna spun the bottle, and Thomas sighed in relief when it didn’t land on him.
“Oh dear,” Moonlight said in mild worry.
“Very well, little Moony,” Luna acknowledged. “What will you choose?”
“I choose, um, dare,” she stated and took her shot.
Luna nodded. “How are you at body modification spells?”
Moonlight shrugged in embarrassment and offered up her hand. “I can make my nails grow?” Her horn lit and she demonstrated the spell, growing her nails out an inch before bringing them back.
“Very well,” Luna acknowledged and lit her own horn. Moonlight’s groin glowed the same color as Luna’s magic. The surprised mare grabbed around where the magic was congealing, growing outwards and solidifying until it formed into a…
Oh for fuck’s sake, Thomas bemoaned as he gazed upon Moonlight’s shiny new horse cock.
Moonlight wasn’t much better off, blinking in disbelief as she stared down at her new appendage.
“Moonlight,” Luna announced, tearing all eyes away from the room’s second penis. “For your dare, you are commanded to carry your new male anatomy for the remainder of the game.”
“W-what?” Moonlight squeaked as her gaze darted rapidly between her alicorn and her new accessory.
“You gave my girlfriend a cock?” Thomas asked, not believing the words even as they left his lips. “Just to get back at me?”
“She did accept the dare,” Luna said matter-of-factly.
Thomas narrowed his eyes on the nefarious mare. “You really are evil, aren’t you?”
Luna smiled proudly.
“How’s it feel?” Surprise asked.
Moonlight had no words. At first she held her hands out at a cautious distance from the sheathed phallus. It was a darker shade of her orange coat and complete with a set of even darker apple-sized testicles. She swayed her body a little, studying the way her appendage moved. It touched the floor, which was weird. It touched her thighs, which was even weirder. A jumble of mixed signals spun in her brain. This was a penis between her thighs, but it did not automatically signal sexy time. Seemingly lost in her own world, Moonlight tentatively touched a single digit to the top of her sheath. A bolt alien of sensation shot through her and she pulled back.
“What happened?” Silver demanded anxiously. “Did it hurt?”
“I… don’t know,” Moonlight admitted. “It’s strange, like when I touch my marehood, but… not.”
“Moony,” Luna cooed playfully.
The unicorn looked up and her eyes grew even wider at what she saw. Luna’s hands were everywhere over her own body, massaging her breasts, teasing at her cutie marks, and just all around feeling herself. Her moans of pleasure were impossible to ignore, as they were designed to be. She was a merciless tease. To conclude her little performance, she gave the group a seductive wink that put all in a state of arousal.
Moonlight’s cock was now in a state of half-mast, twitching anxiously at what its owner had seen. She squeaked in embarrassment. Her hands awkwardly fumbled around her groin, uncertain if she was supposed to cover herself or not.
“Hey!” Thomas called out, looking up at Moonlight with worry. “You okay?”
Moonlight couldn’t help but smile at Thomas’ concern, covering his hand with hers as she took a calming breath. “I appreciate the thought, but I think I’m fine.”
Thomas glanced down at Moonlight’s new appendage and cringed. “You sure?”
“I promise,” Moonlight said, not sounding all that certain. “It’s only a problem if we treat it like one.”
“In that case, let’s keep playin’,” Honey demanded. “Ah wanna see where all this is goin’.”
Moonlight abided, spinning the bottle.
Honey crowed in celebration as the bottle landed on her. “Aw yeah! Mah turn!” And she downed her shot instantly.
Moonlight giggled at the earth mare’s excitement. “Alright. Will you-”
Moonlight had to think quickly. Not only did she have to appease the green mare’s enthusiasm, but she also needed to give Thomas his just… desserts. In addition to him deserving it, her hope was that any punishment she offered would diminish the desires of the others to inflict something worse. A maniacal grin twisted across her lips as the idea formed. “Honey,” she hissed sinisterly. “There’s a certain outfit stored in the closet.” She jerked her head in the room’s direction. “I want you to fetch it and dress Thomas in it.”
“Uh… okay?” Honey agreed warily as she climbed to her hooves and entered the closet. “Uh, which outfit was it?” she asked as she shuffled through Luna’s various gowns.
“Moonlight!” Luna gasped. “You didn’t.”
Moonlight nodded smugly.
“You did…” Luna’s worried expression quickly twisted to mirror Moonlight’s own glee.
“This isn’t just a dress, is it?” Thomas asked in deadpan.
“Holy mother o’ ponies!” Honey declared as she came racing out of the closet with an outfit in hand. She skidded to a stop and held it out for all to see. “This!?”
Moonlight nodded and Thomas blanched in horror. “It’s my old foal scout uniform, modified special for tonight.”
From the hanger in Honey’s hand hung the tiny outfit. At first glance it was the standard uniform of a foal scout with a green vest and – normally optional – brown cargo shorts. There was even a red sash along the front containing several merit badges. It was all perfectly innocent and mundane, except for the missing bits of fabric around the crotch, ass, and nipples.
“Aw hell.” At the look of Honey’s eagerness, along with the curiosity of the other mares in the room, he knew he was doomed. Thomas rolled his eyes and stood. “Let’s just get this over with,” he conceded, allowing himself to be dressed.
“Oh wow!” Surprise cheered. “You look so cute!”
Moonlight made an unintelligible whinny as she absentmindedly stroked her appendage.
“You got it goin’ on,” Honey congratulated.
“Perhaps this should be your new official uniform,” Silver suggested cheekily.
“Seconded!” Luna held out her arm in cheer.
“Why me?” Thomas bemoaned from the center of the circle. Somehow wearing this outfit felt even more awkward than just being naked. He could practically feel the eyes of the mares as they crawled over him, especially his rear. It was beyond embarrassing, but there was also no denying the way his cock had sprung to life out of the hole in the shorts. This was followed by a holler of cheers from the audience as the human remembered he’d already been intimate with everyone in the room. Feeling a touch of boldness, Thomas decided to give them a show worth cheering for.
“Oh look. A penny,” he stated plainly as he turned around and bent forward, keeping his legs as straight as possible. Looking back between his legs, he could see steam literally bellowing out of Luna’s nose as she stared at him with glassy eyes.
“Uh oh. Where did it go,” Thomas said in faux distress. He fell to all fours and kept his ass up high as he began hunting through the carpet for the elusive coin, turning his body and wagging is rear to give all the mares a good show. They hooted and hollered their appreciation, making the human grow even bolder.
“Hmm. It seems the penny has eluded me,” he said thoughtfully, standing upright and pretending not to notice the others. “Oh where oh where could it have gone?”
“Oh! Mememememe!” Surprise’s hand shot up ecstatically. When Thomas slowly and deliberately turned towards her, looking very posh and unimpressed, she pulled out a bronze coin from her mane and wedged it precariously between her breasts. “Here. Right here!”
Thomas stroked his chin and hummed in animated consideration. “Hmm. Is that my penny? Oh, how I wonder.” He stepped up around the others and towards the white mare. He was glad that everyone showed enough restraint not to goose him as he bent over to give those behind him a feast for the eyes. Staring intently, he breathed heavily down on Surprise’s bosoms.
The pegasus’ wings shot out and fluttered lightly as her chest was examined, all the while her eyes were torn between the man’s funny faces and his third leg seemingly waving ‘hello.’ Alas, her suffering was ignored as he continued to grope and feel up her generous boobs in his search for his ‘precious penny.’
“Nope,” Thomas decided, giving Surprise’s right nipple a flick and causing her jiggling breasts to swallow the coin. “That is not my penny.” He folded his arms contemptuously, his antics earning several giggles from the surrounding mares. “I must find my penny, for only it will do.”
“Do what?” Luna eagerly asked, wanting to play along.
“Do? Hmm. What do?” Thomas shook his rear with each word, slapping his cock to either hip. “Hmm. What do yoooou think it do?”
Numerous and varied suggestions were shouted out: calls for tasting, touching, full penetration, and even a dance off.
“I’m such a man-whore,” Thomas muttered in amusement as he remarked on how much he was enjoying all this attention, only to remember something important. “Oh wait. I am.” And he chuckled lightly. However, his audience looked no less anxious to hear his verdict on what the elusive coin actually did, so he made his decision. “Oh there it is.” He knelt down to the bottle and set his hand upon the cap, causing the mares to grow silent in understanding. The bottle was spun and the lucky mare bounced and cheered in glee.
**********
Several turns later:
The five mares and one human were in blissful states of agony. It was getting harder and harder to breathe while their cheeks hurt from smiling too much. Honey laughed the hardest, mostly in relief, as she slid down against the door.
“Did you really do it?” Surprise asked eagerly.
Regaining her breath, Honey gave a smirk and held up the hand that did the deed, but not before giving it a quick sniff. She pulled away from the fowl odor and fanned her hand away. “Pew!” This earned another roar of laughter from the others.
“Tell!” Moonlight demanded. “You have to tell us what happened.”
“How’d she react?” Honey asked.
“Did she send the guards?” Silver inquired. “How did you escape?”
“No guards,” Honey said in a laughing sigh. “But Ah’ll tell ya, Ah don’t think Ah’ll be doin’ that again any time soon.” A shiver ran through her body as she recalled. “The way she looked at me… It was like she knew.”
“Knew?” Thomas asked. “How would she?”
“I imagine she had her suspicions,” Luna suggested, clutching her pained middle. “Seeing one of my concubines coming to her, alone, at this time, on this of all nights… ‘Tis not unheard of for ‘Tia and I to pull such pranks on one another.”
“That was still way too creepy for me,” Honey said, sounding more nervous. “The way she looked at me, with that smile. It was like she was just darin’ me ta try somethin’.”
“So what’d you do?” Surprise asked, leaning forward and causing her breasts to wobble.
Honey chuckled again. “Ah did like you said. Went in, said Ah had urgent business with the Princess.” She shook her head in disbelief. “She gave me that… look, and Ah asked her, just like you said, if Ah could show her somethin.’”
“And then?” Luna asked anxiously, scooting forward. “What was she wearing?”
“Uh, a yoga suit,” Honey giggled. Recalling the way the fabric had so perfectly hugged the smaller, pinker alicorn’s body made her lick her lips. “She smiled, lookin’ all innocent, but Ah knew she knew too. So Ah jus’… did it.” She made a slapping motion. “Ah smacked them flanks ‘n got out o’ there like Tartarus was on mah tail!”
“And the guards?” Silver asked more insistently. “I cannot believe they simply stood there and let that happen.”
“Oh, they tried,” Honey chuckled. “Ah heard ‘em shoutin’, but then Cadence called ‘em off.”
Did you hear that, my lovely niece? Luna chided lightly. It seems mine are not the only guards in need of more extensive training. She felt Cadence laugh on the other end.
Well excuse me for having my mind elsewhere, Cadence huffed indignantly. My stallion and I were very busy discussing which of your human’s techniques we wanted to try.
Fair enough, Luna conceded respectfully. Carry on.
“Was Shining there?” Thomas asked. “What’d he do?”
“Ah’m pretty sure he knew, too,” Honey laughed. “He was wearin’ a yoga suit too, but didn’t even get out o’ bed. He was also smilin’.” Finally she mustered the strength to walk back over to the others, only for Moonlight to quickly spank her as she walked past. “Careful now,” the earth mare warned playfully. “Don’t start nothin’ ya ain’t ready ta finish.”
“Finish?” Moonlight asked in amused disbelief. “We haven’t even started.”
After much fun having, the party eventually wound down as the mares and man took stock of themselves as they lay out on Luna’s bed. Silver was sitting in Moonlight’s lap, giggling in a drunken stupor as her rear was hot dogged by the unicorn’s lingering phallus. Thomas, finally free of his scout uniform, hummed in contentment as he sat in Surprise’s lap while she hugged him from behind and rested her chin over his head. This left Honey and Luna sitting side by side as they leaned on one another, enjoying the pressure and warmth of the other’s body.
Surprise gave a mighty, room shaking belch and tapped her fist to her sternum. “Oops. My bad.”
“Gross,” Thomas laughed as the mare shifted around him, savoring the feel of her soft breasts against his back.
“Ah don’t mean ta break the mood ‘n’ sound ungrateful,” Honey began.
“But?” Luna asked.
“But ain’t this our induction party?” Honey inquired. “Shouldn’t we be buckin’?”
Luna chuckled good-naturedly and wrapped an arm around the earth mare’s shoulder, pulling her close. “Anxious, are we?”
Honey shivered as her ear was nuzzled. “Ya gotta ask?”
“Ooh!” Surprise chirped. “How about we pair off and rotate?”
“Ngh, I like that,” Silver moaned as she began rotating her hips in Moonlight’s lap. She shot the larger mare a half lidded smirk over her shoulder, which was returned with a purr.
“Hold!” Luna proclaimed with an outstretched hand. “Before we begin, I propose we make things interesting.”
“An alicorn, a mare from each tribe, and a naked alien aren’t interesting enough for you?” Thomas deadpanned.
Luna smirked and lit her horn. At the foot of the bed appeared a choice wheel with a dial and more than a hundred sticks indicating their options. Above the wheel a title blared to life on bright, neon lights. “The Wheel of Kamasutra,” the alicorn read. “Spin the wheel and attempt the position depicted.”
“I stand corrected,” Thomas conceded flatly. He then looked over at the others after feeling the silence had gone on for a little too long. “So who’s first?”
“I volunteer,” Silver announced and hopped from Moonlight’s lap. She frowned at the loss of warmth against her back and backside, but decided to hurry to the wheel so she could get back all the quicker.
“But first,” Luna announced and snapped her fingers.
Thomas shook his head as the lingering buzz from the alcohol all but evaporated from his head. He looked around and confirmed, by the looks on the others’ faces, that Luna’s spell had sobered them up, too. Probably for the best.
Once she’d adjusted to her new sobriety, Silver gave the wheel a spin and the dial made its selection. “The Bridge?” Silver asked as she read.
In answer, a screen manifested directly beside the wheel. It blinked on and depicted a still image of a generic looking mare and stallion. The two nodded in greeting and proceeded to assume the position.
“Oh wow,” Silver awed.
“Glad that’s not me,” Thomas admitted. “I’m not that flexible or strong.”
“Ah think Plow might like ta try that,” Honey offered.
“Oh boy,” Moonlight breathed anxiously as she studied the image. “I-I’ve never done it like a stallion, before, let alone like that.”
“Do you need a moment to…” Silver trailed off as she searched for the right words.
“No, no. It’s fine,” Moonlight assured as she slid along the bed until she was positioned between the wheel and the audience. Lying flat on her back, the unicorn braced her hands behind her shoulders and propped her middle up, forming a vague arc with her spine. Her stallionhood, still agitated from Silver’s touch, stood high and proud overhead, twitching in anticipation of what was to come.
Silver laughed giddily as she fluttered her wings and hovered a few feet above the bed. She then gently alighted down onto Moonlight’s waist, pressing the mare’s cock against her belly. Her legs hung down to either side of the unicorn, too high up to touch the ground. “Oh my,” she said with a shudder as she looked down at Moonlight’s heaving breasts. “This is certainly… new.”
“T-tell me about it,” Moonlight giggled nervously as she experimentally flexed her penis.
“I’m not too heavy, am I?” Silver asked in concern.
“Not at all,” Moonlight declared proudly. “Though I think you’re the only mare I could have done this with.”
“Naturally,” Luna stated. “The selections are random, but are enchanted to make sure those participating are actually capable of carrying out the act. Though I must admit I had not expected our game to begin with something so advanced.”
“Oh well,” Moonlight said with a shrug. “Shall we start?”
“We shall.”
Bending down until she was belly-to-belly with Moonlight, Silver slid forward a short distance, using her wings for balance. Then, feeling the tip of Moonlight’s stallionhood prod at her entrance, the little bat pushed back. Both mares moaned in delight as their sexes became intertwined. Moonlight was taking this the hardest, dealing with not only supporting herself in the odd position, but also to all the strange new sensations of her stallion appendage.
As such, Silver made sure to move carefully, sliding back slowly and giving the orange mare time to adjust. She smiled happily as she moved, savoring the control she exerted over the mare beneath her. Once fully hilted, Silver gave her wings another flap and pulled herself up. When she did, she noticed a certain something beneath her hooves. Surprised, she gazed down from her seat to find a clump of sheets elevated upwards, encased in Luna’s magic.
“Thank you,” Moonlight offered, having also noticed the elevated sheets.
“It was my, ngh, pleasure,” Luna replied. Her and Honey’s fingers had disappeared between the other’s thighs. At the same time, Surprise was carefully studying the intricate texture of Thomas’ testicles, all while keeping his dong untouched.
With her newfound leverage, Silver lifted herself up a few short inches before slowly descending back down. “Goodness!”
Moonlight had given up on thrusting after a single, admittedly pitiful, attempt, so she decided to let Silver set the pace, which was just fine with her. The bat mare was being much more tender than usual, mindful not to jostle the unicorn too much as she moved. All of this allowed Moonlight to focus entirely on the sensations running through her stallionhood.
“H-how is it?” Silver managed to ask as she gently bounced herself along the shaft.
Moonlight panted heavily. “I can barely think straight. It’s like this, ugh, amazing tingling all along the, oh Faust! Your marehood feels wonderful,” she moaned. “So warm and tight. I love it!”
“What else?” Luna asked insistently as her fingering of Honey became more intense.
“I’m still winking,” Moonlight said as she felt Silver’s own marehood wink around her dick. “M-my body… it wants a penis, but it also wants Silver’s marehood.” She panted with a flushed face.
“You’re big,” panted Silver. She had placed one hand to her abdomen to add a little extra pressure as she bounced with her hooves. “I can feel your heart beat. It’s beating so strongly.” She gave a long, whining moan as she quickened her pace. “It’s pulsing. I feel you twitching inside me.”
“More!” Luna demanded. “We want to cum together. We want to feel thy climax from our passionate acts of love!” She and Honey were now working their fingers to near numbness, sinking deep into the other’s wetness while remembering to pay attention to one another’s clits. At the same time, Thomas was coaxing moans out of Surprise while the white mare showed a remarkable level of restraint by only juggling his balls.
“It’s different,” answered Silver breathlessly. She was getting a real kick out of this feeling of being in control, deciding when and with what intensity her marehood would be filled, all while the ‘stallion’ was entirely at her mercy. “Her penis is… I’m not sure.” She’d begun rotating her hips while the hand that wasn’t massaging Moonlight’s breast had migrated down to her little bat clit. “It’s not as big as yours,” she said to Luna, “and it doesn’t have that unique shape that gives me that special tingle,” she added, shooting a look at Thomas. “I… I don’t know if I can even describe it,” she confessed while rocking her hips back and forward. “She’s twitching inside me. I’m so close!”
“Try to describe it anyway,” Luna urged. “Tell me what’s going through your mind!”
“Moonlight!” Silver answered quickly. “I feel her. Nnngh! I feel her inside of me.” As she finally made sense of the vague sensations being transmitted into her head, trying her best to find some way to communicate what was asked of her, she laughed at the absurdity of what she was about to say. “I see her doing push ups,” she chuckled. “Many of her muscles are rippling with each movement. And her abs…” she trailed off as her tongue extended forth and was limply suspended from her mouth.
“I… I’m cumming!” Moonlight announced.
Silver brought her body back down to Moonlights, wrapping her arms around the unicorn’s back and holding on for dear life. Moonlight’s balls quivered beneath the bat mare’s ass and fired her load. Silver’s entire body shudders as she feels the liquid warmth fill her up. At the same time, Moonlight’s limbs gave way as the alien climax overwhelmed her. Thankfully, a tingle of familiar magic spreads beneath her back and slowly levitates her back down to the bed. Silver and Moonlight clung to one another in a desperate cuddle, smiling in the afterglow as they rub cheeks. Their genitals remained interlocked and Moonlight fires a few additional salvos into Silver’s waiting warmth.
“Damn, that’s hot,” Thomas muttered. Watching the mare who was basically his wife give a good dicking to another mare he cared for had been amazing. However the sheer size of the tool had left him feeling a little inadequate. It was hard not to compare. Below average for ponies would always be bigger than him, and Moonlight was definitely above average. At the same time, the feeling of emasculation only added to his already peaking arousal.
“And the round continues,” Luna proclaimed joyously as she set a hand on Honey’s back and pushed her up. “Onwards, my juicy apple. Let us not let ourselves be outmatched!”
Honey, her competitive side switched on, gave an affirming nod. She walked up to the wheel with a considerable sway in her step, loving the idea of so many of those whom she was coming to care for watching her backside with lust. She spun it and read the selection. “Crouching Tiger?”
As before, the screen lit up and the same generic ponies from before bowed and demonstrated.
“Now that looks fun,” the apple mare giggled.
“Verily,” Luna proclaimed as she all too excitedly scooted down to the side of the bed, past the still recovering Moonlight and Silver, and slid even further until her legs fell off the bed at the knee. The Princess made herself comfortable, breathing deeply of the smell of fresh sex, and patted her thighs for Honey to take her seat as she laid down on her back. It was still important for the audience to have a clear view.
“Whoo whee!” Honey cheered as she hurried over to Luna, her breasts bouncing exuberantly, only for the Princess to hold up her hand in halting. “What?”
Luna pointed back at the screen.
“Oh…” Embarrassed from her over exuberance, Honey turned her back on her alicorn, gave her ass a modest twerk, lifted her hoof across to her Princess’ opposite hip, and squatted down low. “Uh, Luna?”
“Yes, my juicy little apple,” Luna cooed, licking her lips as she eyed Honey’s delectable backside. She couldn’t help but reach out and grab those succulent cheeks, squeezing and exploring their lightly fuzzy texture. Next she pulled them apart, wanting a clear view of the earth mare’s quivering pucker and winking, dripping marehood.
“Ain’t you, uh forgettin’ somethin’?” Honey asked between squeaks.
“Am I now?” Gripping Honey’s bottom more tightly, Luna adjusted the mare’s position further down, forcing her to adjust her hoofing to keep up. “What might I be forgetting?” she asked as she slid a thumb over Honey’s winking sex.
Honey had no words, but she did offer a beastlike growl of lust.
“Oh, did you mean this?” Luna’s stallionhood erupted upward, narrowly missing Honey’s sex as it climbed to its maximum size of roughly eighteen inches long and three inches in diameter.
After a brief period of stunned silence, a grin quickly grew across Honey’s face as she turned around and gazed down at her new plaything. “Aw yeah. Now we’re talkin’!”
Thomas tensed in Surprise’s grip, and not just because the mare was nibbling at his neck. While the male anatomy of the common pony wasn’t nearly the big deal that it used to be, especially since most guys walked around with it tucked away in their sheaths, the lingering compulsion to compare himself still left Thomas feeling strange. It was only made worse when he saw the towering spire between Luna’s legs. Even so, he could not tear his eyes away from the sight of such large, beautiful women about to fornicate as much for his enjoyment as their own.
“Alright, sugar,” Honey cooed as she squatted down between Luna’s legs, grabbed onto the spire, and gave it a tentative lick. “Mmh, nice.” She then parted her lips and sank her maw down, consuming a good fourth of the spire on her first go.
Luna flung her head back as her hips jerked upwards, driving more of her length into Honey’s throat. Pony bodies were flexible enough to handle a lot, but Luna knew only a mare of exceptional size could handle her girth when she grew her phallus out like this, at least not without magical aid. Honey’s throat undulated as she swallowed more and more of Luna’s meat, sinking down to the medial ring and causing the alicorn’s hips to jerk. The earth mare grinned around her mouthful and sank even lower, feeling the burning piece of meat curve back to slide down her esophagus.
“Herna heen hor hrrrmy,” Honey said through her mouthful. Growing up, the proud earth mare had never imagined she’d ever be able to taste a Princess’ penis. Now that she had, it was hard not to compare to her own stallion’s member. Luna was bigger than Plow by a solid several inches. It stretched her throat in ways she’d never expected, no doubt foreshadowing its other abilities in the moments to come. The texture was a lot smoother and the musk wasn’t nearly as masculine as she’d hoped. Yet there was no trace of disappointment in the apple farmer’s heart as she listened to the sweet melody of sounds her lavish affections were bringing from Luna’s mouth.
“What was that?”
Slowly Honey lifted herself up, sliding the cock out of her slick maw with a wet slurping sound. When it was free, the cock bobbed back and forth like a bobble toy, but one that shined with a fresh polish. “Ah said Ah think you’re ready.”
Still squatting, Honey turned around and lifted herself a considerable height to rest above the flat end of Luna’s dick. She unconsciously licked her lips in memory of the taste as her eyes zeroed in on the bead of pre that was forming. Honey lined herself up with the flat head and, bracing one hand on her knee and using the other to pull one ass cheek back, slowly lowered herself down. Both mares tensed from the contact, but Honey recovered quickly enough to resume her descent as Luna once more grabbed her rear.
The feeling of fullness was something all mares knew came to know and appreciate. To envelope, to be penetrated by a long, thick, and burning piece of stallion meat was a sensation without compare. Coolers did a serviceable job, but every mare knew that the real thing was leagues better, no matter the size. Being a large earth mare, Honey was accustomed to the much larger penis sizes which were typical of the stallions of her tribe. Yet no stallion, not even Big Plow, compared to the absolute monster burying itself within her depths and threatening to rip her apart. She was still in the process of sinking down when she felt the tip of Luna’s cock kiss the entrance to her womb, followed seconds later by the medial ring passing over her clit, sending shivers through the earth mare.
Honey’s mind screamed out in awe and ecstasy when she realized that Luna’s monster, despite its size, had almost fully hilted itself within her in one fell swoop. She had, after weeks of training and unorthodox courtship, become one with the Princess of the Night.
Luna was roughly digging her fingers into Honey’s plot, savoring the sounds the mare made just as much as the textures of her inner walls. The feel of her medial ring brushing Honey’s clit caused her to involuntarily thrust upward, sinking another several inches into Honey’s depths.
“So smooth,” Luna purred as she massaged Honey’s plot. “Thou art tight, but mine stallionhood enters so smoothly. Might thou be accustomed to phalluses of such size?”
“O yeah!” Even with her back turned to the Princess, the smile in her voice was more than apparent. “My stallion’s big, like real big, but he ain’t got nothin’ on you, Moonbutt.”
Luna growled as she yanked Honey down several more inches, penetrating past the mare’s womb as startling a joyous squeak from her lips. “Is that so?”
“Yeah,” Honey panted. “He’s gonna flip when Ah tell ‘im.”
She’s not worried about him feeling insecure or jealous, Thomas managed to note, even as he was thrusting into Surprise’s hand. It was reassuring to see everyone acting so casual about all this. Even now, he still took comfort at these signs of normalcy, which helped to ease his lingering uncertainties.
Luna made a growling moan as she sank the final few inches into Honey’s depths, only to let out a contented sigh at the feel of finally being fully hilted. “We leave the reigns to you.”
Nodding rapidly, Honey channeled all power into her legs. It was an uphill battle trying to pull her incredibly tight and clingy snatch off of Luna’s wondrous length. But with a snarl of defiance, the earth mare managed to pull it off, or out as the case may be. The feel of Luna’s stallionhood sliding all along her vaginal cavity was almost as good as when it had first entered, sending continuous jolts of pleasure throughout her body. She had just slid the medial ring out of her when her body’s craving proved too much and she slammed her plot back down.
“Oh Faust, this is awesome,” Surprise whimpered in want as she watched, her body shaking from the excitement of watching an alicorn, her alicorn, bucking such a sexy mare. The feel of Thomas’ smooth skin against her belly and breasts was like icing on a cake she couldn’t wait to taste.
Silver and Moonlight had also recovered enough to watch the show. Although they said nothing, they continued to hold onto one another as Silver would occasionally rotate her hips around Moonlight’s still embedded phallus.
After a few more test rounds, Honey found her rhythm as she repeatedly lifted herself up and slammed back down. Her movements quickly grew more and more rapid, losing all traces of refinement or patience as she fell into wild bucking. Luna only encouraged this by yanking on Honey’s tail with one hand and sinking the other’s middle and trigger finger into Honey’s tight anus.
“Oh yeah, bucker!” Honey cried. “Give it to me!”
“As thou wish,” Luna growled threateningly as she began finger fucking the mare’s ass with just as much reckless abandon.
Both mares let out a tremendous cry of ecstasy as they came, spraying their juices over one another’s thighs as the remaining mares and man had to cover their ears. Unseen was the sheer intensity of the load firing directly into Honey’s womb, filling her belly with a warmth that quickly spread throughout her entire body.
Honey craned her neck back to meet the alicorn’s eyes. Both mares wore flushed looks on their faces, along with smiles that looked like they might never fade. The earth mare lightly twisted her hips in Luna’s lap, finding the alicorn still hard. “Ready for round two?” she asked with a girlish giggle.
“Momentarily,” Luna purred throatily as she lifted herself up. Pressing her chest into Honey’s back, she wrapped her arms around the earth mare’s middle and gently nibbled at her ear. “We must wait our turn.” She gestured with her eyes at the others. Silver and Moonlight had retaken their earlier position against the pillows as they contentedly cuddled and nuzzled. By contrast, Surprise looked about ready to bounce out of her fur as she anxiously eyed the alicorn. Thomas’ chest was rising and falling with his heavy breaths as he humped into Surprise’s hand. Keeping herself wedged firmly within Honey, Luna managed to shuffle her way back to the head of the bed before nodding at the white mare.
The pegasus sprung forth for the wheel, wrapping an arm around Thomas’ middle and carrying him with her the entire time.
“Someone’s excited,” he commented dryly as his head was wedged into the bottom of the mare’s breasts, obscuring his vision. However, Surprise gave no sign she’d heard him as she gave the wheel a spin.
“The Rowing Boat? Oooooh!” Surprise cooed as she held Thomas out from her, spinning him around to face her and gave his body a hungered look. “Ready, little colt?” It still felt amazingly kinky and deliciously taboo to imagine Thomas as a colt.
Grinning back at her as he glanced briefly back at the screen, Thomas nodded. “Bring it, marshmallow!”
Surprise gently laid Thomas down on the bed, belly up, just like the stallion on the screen had done. She angled him horizontally across the bed before checking with her audience. “Everypony see, alright?” They all confirmed and she nodded excitedly. After all, everypony else had been considerate of the audience’s needs.
Sitting down on her knees, she shuffled her way over the human’s pelvis, humming excitedly as their genitals brushed against one another. She took a moment to savor the look on his face as she cast a shadow over him. It was that same nervous anticipation he always got whenever a mare was about to dominate him, sexually or otherwise. It made Surprise’s heart flutter to know that, this time, that mare would be her. She placed her hand down over his chest and took stock of his pulse. Surprise then spread her wings out experimentally and gave a short laugh when she felt his heart rate quicken. “You like big mares, don’t you little colt,” she teased as she rocked her hips back and forth, teasing the tip of his cock with the edges of her lips.
Thomas could only smile and nod as he stared up past Surprise’s massive breasts and into her lascivious purple eyes.
“You want this?” Surprise trailed her hands down her body before grabbing a handful of her own breast and lifted it up to her face. Angling her body to ensure maximum visibility, she gave her nipple the briefest of licks.
“Oh Luna, yes,” Thomas said without thinking.
Honey tensed and writhed in Luna’s lap, uncertain if what she felt was the mare’s cock simply twitching in excitement, or magically widening a few centimeters.
At the same time, Moonlight felt Silver’s snatch tighten around her fingers while the bat felt the unicorn’s half-mast dick twitch with new life in her hand. They shared a lascivious look before returning their attention on the scene at hand.
Surprise sank herself down until her nether lips were just above his erection and she felt herself wink around his round tip. “Sure hope you’re up for this, little boy,” she added experimentally. Based on the giddy and expectant noise that came from the human’s throat, she considered it a success.
Grinning lustfully, Surprise sank herself slowly down Thomas’ length. It was hard not to make the comparison with Thomas’ length and what she’d seen coming out of Luna and going into Honey. And as much as Surprise couldn’t wait for her turn with that monster of a cock, she was equally antsy to once more feel Thomas’ unique shape and foalish features within and against her.
It took mere seconds for the pegasus’ wide rump to meet Thomas’ thighs and balls, where upon her plump assets spread out around his bony frame, holding him in place. The two shared a contented moan at becoming one as Surprise helped the human to sit up. His head poked between the bottom of his breasts, tickling them with his hair and breath. They smiled at one another, but Surprise donned a more determined look as she glanced back at the screen. The ponies there were able to be face to face, but that was unfortunately impossible given the massive size differences between the pegasus and man. Another challenge came from just how big Surprise’s plot was.
“Maybe you should, uh,” Thomas stammered and gestured downward.
“Right,” Surprise agreed as she almost completely lifted herself off of Thomas’ length in order to free his legs.
“And then I…” Thomas trailed off as he tried to focus. The sheer width of Surprise’s rump meant he had to extract one leg at a time out from under her. Surprise’s thighs also proved too much of an obstacle for the man to successfully loop his legs over as depicted on the screen.
Instead, Surprise brought her own legs up, pinning Thomas’ shoulders between her knees while her hooves pressed down directly behind his tailbone. At the same time, Thomas pressed his knees up against her thighs. From there they locked their hands beneath the other’s knees as best as they could before locking fingers. It was their best attempt at mimicking the image on the screen, and it felt awesome. Both mare and man moaned as they rubbed their legs against the other’s bodies, enjoying the feel of smooth skin and soft, plush fur respectively.
Their position did not allow for heavy thrusting like they were both used to. They could only rotate their hips and make slow, shallow strokes. It was far more intimate and even a bit casual as the mare and man looked into one another’s eyes.
“This is nice,” Surprise cooed as she rotated her hips against Thomas’. The texture of his shaft rubbing along her insides in short, shallow strokes was blissful. “Like relaxed, uh,” she trailed off in search of the desired word, never ceasing her movements.
“Intimate?”
“That’s it!”
Thomas leaned forward until his vision and the top of his head were completely consumed by Surprise’s soft, warm bosoms. He hummed into the breast flesh and smiled at the sound of the mare’s giggle. Surprise gently stroked the back of Thomas’ head, enjoying the feel of his short hair. The two stayed like this for several minutes, moving only a little as they simply reveled in one another’s touch. Even so, tension still built in their loins as their audience watched a notable if gradual increase in hip movement. They held tightly to one another, using the other’s bodies for leverage as they pushed and pulled apart.
“Such a sweet colt,” Surprise purred as she nosed the top of his head. “You know exactly what a mare needs before a good orgy.”
Thomas’ earlier feelings of inadequacy were all but forgotten as he allowed the warmth and smell of the mare to drown his senses. The voice of his inner skeptic telling him that the mare’s moans of delight were all fake was drowned out by the sound of her quickening pulse reverberating all around him. She was happy, excited, in a state of bliss, and the one responsible for bringing these feeling to her was none other than himself. Surprise wanted him, his body, his dick, his gentleness, and everything else that made him who and what he was. “I love you,” he whispered into the mare’s breasts, uncertain if she could hear.
Surprise’s expression of gentle bliss quickly morphed into a crazed grin as she snapped to face her audience. She silently mouthed the words ‘he loves me’ and earned many silent cheers from the others, especially Moonlight. Thomas was always careful and reserved with his words. It was neigh unthinkable for him to make such an admission without meaning it. Driven by this fact, Surprise tightened her grip around the man’s form and quickened her pace.
The pair groaned as both of them achieved their climax, faces looking only marginally flushed as they pulled apart far enough to look at one another. They smiled and brought their lips together in a modest kiss.
“Change places!” Luna declared. When the others proved too slow in their response for her liking, no doubt still a little loopy from their recent climaxes, she magically levitated several mares into the air and shuffled them around before setting them back down with their new partners. The plump and fluffy Surprise was now sitting face-to-face with Luna after being plopped in her wide lap. The alicorn’s penis was wedged between their bellies and burned with a heat that made the both of them shiver. Honey shook the bed after being dropped down beside Moonlight. The pair shared a brief, awkward smile before wrapping one another in a warm embrace and affectionately nuzzling. Lastly, having seen what was happening with the rest, Silver spread her legs and arms as wide as dignity would allow as she was more softly placed in Thomas’ lap. She then wrapped all of her extremities around the man and embraced him fully while wedging his face between her breasts. He groaned in a mix of exhaustion and good humor. The mare was a wee bit heavy and he was still catching his breath after his last exertion. Regardless, her body was invitingly soft, so he did not resist.
A nod from Luna told Moonlight that it was her turn once more. It took a bit of effort to pull away from Honey, who was reluctant to let go, but the unicorn eventually managed and made it back to the wheel. She swaggered past Thomas and Silver at the edge of the bed, giving them both a wink and a smile as she walked with a slight limp. “Here’s hoping for something simpler,” she mumbled, twisting an audible crack out of her back before giving the wheel a spin. “The Magic Mountain?” she read curiously and watched the demonstration. “Oh thank Faust,” she sighed in relief.
“On it,” Honey announced as she started assembling available pillows into a modest pile. When she felt she’d built the pile high enough, she bent over and rested her belly upon the pillows. They compressed a bit under her weight, but managed to retain most of their density as her considerable chest hung down off the front. Once settled, she looked over her shoulder, flagged her tail, and gave her rump an enticing wiggle at her intended mounter. “Come an’ get it.”
Moonlight stared at Honey’s luscious, apple green ass and hungrily licked her lips. Moving as if in a trance, she crawled back over the bed, up to the large, round, and supple cheeks, and leaned in for a deep inhale through her nose. The scent of Honey’s derriere made Moonlight’s cock twitch while also being strangely refreshing. She then exhaled a stream of steady, cool air onto the larger mare’s privates.
“Whoa nelly!” Honey hissed. The blast of cool air had been a shock to her heated nethers. “Whatcha’ll doin’ back there?” she asked mirthfully and grinned with amusement in the unicorn’s direction. Moonlight had breathed again, sending another wave of shivers through Honey.
“Green pastures,” Moonlight answered as she took in the sight on Honey’s winking folds. They were winking with the aftermath of her and Luna’s earlier activity and added to her own building lust. “You smell like going out into the countryside, away from the busy city.” She extended her broad tongue and applied a long, purposeful lick to Honey’s nether lips. The mixed flavor was divine, making her already hard dick twitch even more impatiently. The flavor became a bit more sour and tart as her tongue continued northward, teasing across Honey’s short taint and right over her quivering anus. There she lingered, licking all around the mare’s puckered ponut before delving inside.
“Luna’s teats!” Honey swore.
Silver had positioned herself to sit more comfortably in Thomas’ lap. They now sat face-to-face, granting both easy reach to places on the others’ bodies, namely Silver’s wings and Thomas’ ass. They were making out all while both were staring out of the corners of their eyes at the unfolding scene. Surprise had also positioned herself, working Luna’s cock behind her so that she could hotdog it between her buns, teasing her own anus as she pressed her breasts firmly into Luna’s larger set. Their other extremities did not remain idle either, as their feathery wings rubbed against one another, tickling each other with each and every feather as they massaged their partner’s cutie marks.
Moonlight moaned as she pressed her lips to Honey’s soft, puckered hole. The muscular ass cheeks locked the mare’s face in place as the all-consuming heat washed over her. She kissed the mare’s ponut with the same loving reverence usually reserved for Thomas, Silver, and Luna. But given that they were now officially lovers, she supposed that it was only fitting to intensify the kiss. She sealed her lips around the fleshy ring and gave a powerful suck, using Honey’s moans as a barometer for how well she was doing.
“That’s it, filly,” growled Honey. “Get up in there!”
Moonlight grinned into Honey’s ass, hoping the larger mare could feel her jovial expression. Honey’s clenching around her tongue was intensifying as she probed ever deeper, making the larger mare squirm and whimper. She flexed her oral appendage around, making circular motions within the anal cavity to get it good and stretched. She knew from experience how wonderful it was to have one’s ass being stretched, to be filled with such a hot, slick appendage that drove mares wild. However, the tongue was just a prelude, a sample taste of the real pleasures to come. Then she noticed a peculiar taste.
Moonlight pulled back, leaving a single strand of saliva between her lips and Honey’s anus. She then stole a quick glance at the myriad of bottles on the nightstand, reading one label in particular before looking past the expanse of Honey’s ass to her alicorn. “Luna.”
“Yes?”
“Who’s idea was it to make chocolate flavored lubricant?” It was difficult to keep a straight face while she asked.
“Inspiration from the will of Faust!” Surprise declared, throwing a hand up as if making a holy proclamation.
Luna chuckled. “Probably.” For all she knew, that might have been true.
Honey frowned. “Not that Ah’m complainin’, but how’d that get in there, anyway?” She clenched her anal muscles together and confirmed the familiar slickness of lubricant she hadn’t remembered being applied.
“The will of the alicorns,” Silver answered matter-of-factly as she gyrated her hips against Thomas’ shaft.
Luna chuckled guiltily.
“Ah. That makes sense,” Honey accepted as she turned her head back to once more meet Moonlight’s eyes. “So whatcha’ll waitin’ fer?” she asked, giving her rump another welcoming wiggle. “Hurry up ‘n’ get in there!”
“Yes ma’am!” Moonlight grinned impishly as she pulled herself upright. Standing on her knees, she shuffled forward until her hips were pressed into the mounds of muscles and fat of Honey’s plot. Their combined warmth and strength gave her a moment’s pause as she savored the feeling, but it was short lived as she got into position. Pulling Honey’s ass cheeks apart, she thrust forward through her crack, stopping when she felt her balls tap against the earth mare’s anus, making them both moan. She then pulled back and angled the tip of her flat head with Honey’s pucker before sinking in the first inch.
Honey hissed, forcing Moonlight to instantly stop.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” she asked worriedly.
“Nah,” Honey sighed. “Jus’ been awhile since Ah felt a good stretchin’ back there.” Saying nothing, she motioned to Luna with her eyes and smacked her lips. The alicorn understood and levitated a glass of water to the earth mare’s lips. Honey drank her fill and the glass was returned to the night stand before she finally spoke. “Well? Don’t jus’ sit there like a dumb steer. Hurry up ‘n’ mount me!”
“As you wish,” Moonlight replied with a lusty purr. Lighting her horn to add that extra bit of lubrication, she then sank another inch of her stallionhood into Honey’s puckered hole. Honey’s colonic tract was as smooth and wet as a vagina, even as the earth mare clenched her powerful anal muscles around Moonlight’s shaft. “So tight,” she hissed in delight.
“Aw yeah. Keep ‘er comin’!” urged Honey. Her vision was filled with stars as she felt her anal passaged being stretched out and filled. Each millimeter spreading her muscles apart sent lightning bolts of pleasure surging through her body. The blissful feeling was amplified when she felt Moonlight settle her belly onto her back. The added weight of a body on her back made the sensations all the more electrifying. It didn’t matter that this particular body had a pair of nice, round breasts with it, or that the wrong hole was being used. Her instincts were only aware of the hot stallion meat digging inside her while the weight of a body was pressing down on her back. Countless generations of evolutionary psychology were now screaming in the mare’s mind that she was being bred, and she loved it.
Moonlight’s breath hitched in her throat as she felt her medial ring slide over the earth mare’s winking lips. The sudden surge of pleasure had caught her off guard, forcing her to lurch forward and wrap herself more tightly around Honey. As she stayed there, resting on the rippling muscles of Honey’s back as they rose and fell with her breaths, she slowly became aware of the fact that she’d hilted herself inside. She wiggled her hips a bit to make sure, and confirmed that the green mare’s broad ass cheeks were enveloped around her hips while her magical balls were wedged firmly against Honey’s wet, winking folds.
“How is she?” Luna asked, not especially caring who answered. All she needed was somepony to give a play-by-play.
“She’s so tight,” moaned Moonlight as she adjusted to the sensation. “It’s like she’s trying to… to eat my little stallion with her plot.”
“Ain’t no ‘try’ to it,” rebuked Honey. “It’s mine, now, ‘n’ Ah ain’t lettin’ go!” she said to the laughter of the others.
Moonlight also chuckled, although a bit more boldly as she heard the challenge in Honey’s voice. She brought her lips close to the earth mare’s ear and whispered just loud enough for the others to hear. “Challenge accepted.”
That was all the warning the unicorn gave before pulling herself two thirds of the way out of the earth mare’s depths, only to thrust with a powerful heave that rocked the stronger mare forward.
In response, Honey gave an elaborate and highly scholarly analysis befitting her background. “Harder, bitch!”
“Order received,” Moonlight teased back. She pulled out about half way this time, just far enough that her medial ring was practically kissing Honey’s fleshy pucker, only to slam back in with even more force than before.
“That’s it, ya limp-dicked swine. Breed this mare like ya mean it!”
Even before Honey had finished, Moonlight had already pulled out enough to thrust back in. It took a bit of work to find a good rhythm, but the sound of the larger mare’s pleasured moans told her it was worth the wait. Long, hard thrusts were followed by slightly quicker withdrawals. Moonlight’s balls sung with wet slaps as each entrance was announced with a wet shlurping sound. This momentum would occasionally be replaced by tender hip rotations. However, before Honey could adapt, Moonlight surprised her with a series of short, rapid humps into the mare’s backside. “That’s it, sugar,” Moonlight teased. “Show me what an Apple mare can take.”
Honey’s hands gripped around each breast, kneading the dough-like orbs for added stimulation as she dug her teeth into the pillow at the top of the pile. She opened her mouth, ready to issue an escalation to the existing challenge, but found herself wanting for something else. “Pull mah tail!”
Hearing the need in Honey’s voice, Moonlight nodded and obliged. Reaching beneath her belly, she grabbed as much of the golden tail as she could before giving it a firm, powerful yank. Honey about bucked Moonlight right off as her entire body tensed up from the surge of pleasure. Moonlight waited a moment for her new lover to relax. She passed the time by running the fingers of her other hand through Honey’s mane while nibbling tenderly at her neck.
Honey nodded after she’d calmed down and was silently grateful that Moonlight had chosen to resume at a much slower pace. She humped her hips backwards to better meet the unicorn’s thrusts. Each time she gave a whimper whenever she’d feel the distinct outline of the medial ring brush over her pucker. It was heavenly, especially when Moonlight resumed her earlier pace. “Close!” she warned.
“S-same,” acknowledge Moonlight. She could feel her own cock already swelling within the earth mare’s rectum. With Honey’s tail still in hand, the unicorn alternated between thrusts and yanks, just like she liked. When she felt her length begin to swell, she instinctively wrapped her arms around Honey’s middle and held her close, followed by several rapid thrusts to her back door. Moonlight hilted herself one last time in Honey’s bowels before unleashing her climax, feeling every ounce of male ejaculate pumping up from her balls, through her shaft, and spraying out like a garden hose into her mare’s depths.
Honey gave a long, obscene moan as she felt jet after jet of stallion spunk fill her other orifice. It wasn’t nearly the volume of Luna’s load, but it was still nothing to shirk at. A hand migrated over the top pillow and pressed lightly against her stomach. It had distended quite a bit from the combined loads and was still swelling. “Is this what bein’ pregnant’s like?” she asked in a half-dazed state.
“I hope so,” answered Moonlight, not entirely aware of her own words and feeling equally out of it as she rested limply over Honey’s back.
The moment of quiet afterglow was short-lived, broken by an urgent and almost shrill declaration.
“My turn! My turn!” Surprise announced. She hopped from Luna’s lap, flapping her wings a few times to completely clear the bed and set her hooves down before the wheel. “I’ve been waiting my entire life to buck a Princess’ sexy flanks and I can’t wait another minute!”
Luna chuckled as she watched Surprise turn the wheel with far more force than was necessary. “My, somepony is eager.”
“Damn straight!” affirmed Surprise as the wheel made its selection. “G-Force,” she giggled excitedly as the ponies on screen did their thing. “Looks like fun.”
“Indeed,” agreed Luna as she levitated Surprise back to the bed.
The alicorn stood up on her knees, making her tower of male meat bob as it was jostled about. Anxious, Surprise allowed herself to be manipulated onto her back, tucking her wings in so they wouldn’t get caught on anything. Despite her full and plump physique, Surprise demonstrated her remarkable dexterity by lifting her back end up so it was parallel with Luna’s thighs, using only her back muscles and arms for balance. The dark mare gabbed under Surprise’s butt cheeks, giving the pegasus the support she needed to pull her legs against her chest, her knees stopping right below her gravity-defying breasts.
“Such a lovely flower, brimming with nectar,” purred Luna as she drank in the sight of Surprise’s offered bottom and marehood. “You know, it was believed by the earth ponies of old that the most succulent flower was one that had been freshly pollinated,” she informed with a lick of her lips.
“Makes sense,” giggled Surprise. “Though, there’s really only one way to find out,” she said while giving Luna a pair of winks, one of which was with her eye.
Feeling no more need to restrain herself, Luna leaned down and dipped her muzzle into the offered flower. The smell of musk and fresh sex was tinged with a sugary sweetness. Experimentally she dabbed her tongue at the mare’s soggy lips, only to whinny in delights as her taste buds were assaulted by sweet, sugary delight. “Sweet heavens, this is delicious!”
“Whoa ah!” gasped Surprise as Luna went to town on her marehood. She’d been eaten out by mares before, but never by such a spectacularly powerful tongue. Luna’s tongue was like heavy construction equipment, burrowing deep into her lover’s dark depths, drilling for the liquid gold within her core. Once Surprise had been properly widened, the alicorn had sealed her lips around the pegasus’ winking slit and applied a level of suction that could pull a soccer ball through a rubber hose, relieving the pegasus of the combined sexual juices of herself and the human. Surprise’s mouth was opened wide in a silent scream as her vaginal walls were sucked clean of her present.
When it was over, Luna pulled away with a pop of her lips and a satisfied, “Ah!” This left Surprise, still held up by Luna, staring blankly up at the ceiling as her chest rose and fell with her rapid breaths. “Thank you for the treat,” tittered Luna. “I hope you had as much fun giving as I had receiving.”
“Did I cum just now?” Surprise asked. “Seriously. I have no idea if you sucked another orgasm out of me. It’s kinda freaking me out,” she explained through labored breaths.
Luna tilted her head at Surprise’s curious response. “Should I try again to find out?”
Surprise snapped out of her dazed state and fixed Luna with a look of incredulity. “Do you even have to ask?”
“Evidently not.” Luna giggled happily and once more placed her mouth onto Surprise’s vaginal lips. Her sucking wasn’t’ as strong or exuberant as the first time, but her oral mastery was still on display as she touched each and every inch of the white mare’s insides, making her squirm and resulting her body jiggling in a way that only added to Luna’s hunger.
Surprise thrashed in uncontrollable laughter as Luna’s tongue extracted from her mare lips and began applying thick coats of saliva all along her buttocks. It both tickled and aroused the pegasus as she tried to keep her body spasms under control. The result was her own breasts repeatedly smacking her in the face. “Sometimes these things can be pretty annoying,” Surprise grumbled.
“Think you’d be willing to trade?” Moonlight asked. She was still lying atop and embedded within Honey, but the mares were now breathing evenly as they watched the show.
Surprise was about to ask what Moonlight meant, only for the unicorn to gesture at the other pair. It seemed that Silver had grown impatient for her turn at the wheel and was in the midst of bobbing her head down on Thomas’ manhood as she lay across his lap. At the same time, she was using her relatively small breasts to give a boob job to his relatively small cock. It took a fair amount of focus to keep her breasts pressed around the base of his shaft while her lips suckled from his cock head like it was candy. She moaned her approval, both at the taste and the way Thomas was fingering her marehood from behind.
Having heard the conversation around her, the little bat continue making wet slurping sounds around Thomas’ cock, but made sure to fix a death glare at the unicorn, making her laugh.
Surprise also laughed at the distraction, but quickly became aware at the absence of affection being lavished upon her best feature. “What? No more butt licking? But you were so good at it,” she whined.
Luna grinned, showing off a row of pearly whites as she stared down at the mare beneath her. “Thou art not the only one who hast been waiting.” Her breasts rose and fell with her heavy breaths as, grabbing Surprise’s ankles for support, she lined her cock up with the mare’s winking slit. “Mmh. ‘Tis as though you feel as good as you taste,” she purred.
Surprise was also panting heavily as she eyed up the great spear of muscular masculine meat. “I’m not sure what that means, but I want me some piping hot Luna dick!”
Holding her appendage in her magic, Luna pulled back and positioned the tip at Surprise’s lips. She reared her hips back, ready to plunge inside, only to stop mid thrust, leaving the white mare looking aghast and betrayed. “But first,” Luna said, drawing out each and every syllable.
“Yeah!?”
“What. Is. The. Magic. Wo-”
“Please!” Surprise screamed. “For the love of Faust, and all that is holy, make me one with you!”
Thomas chuckled to himself. “Quit holding back and tell us how you really feel.”
“You want me to tell you how I feel?” Surprise asked. “Fine! I’m freaking right the buck out right now. After weeks of work, of being so close yet never feeling worthy of this walking sex icon, I’m finally free to stop holding back. I’m at the cusp of showing her how much I care, of offering myself fully and completely for her happiness. And now this sexy, amazing mare is ready to plow me like a fertile plot of land, but she’s holding back. It’s like she doesn’t even-oh!” Surprise gasped as Luna sunk the first inch into her opening.
The flat head of Luna’s cock moved steadily, inch-by-inch into Surprise’s well-used marehood. She had to fight against the urge to fully impale her in one go. Not only did the pegasus’ snatch feel incredible, but the heartfelt confession had done more to stoke the alicorn’s inner fire than any amount of physical stimulation could. “There,” she said throatily as she sheathed her length almost halfway in. “Is that better?”
Surprise hummed and made a series of incomprehensible burbles in answer as she felt herself being penetrated by the biggest, most amazing cock she’d ever felt. These noises were broken when she felt Luna’s medial ring glide over her clit, sending literal volts of electricity through the white mare’s body. Her mane and tail became frazzled with static. “Wowie zowie,” she moaned in ecstasy. “I think my brain just went kerpowie!”
With no further fanfare, Luna finished inserting her member into Surprise’s marehood. She stopped once she felt her meaty balls press into the white mare’s marshmallowy buttocks. There she rested, allowing Surprise and herself to get used to the feeling of being joined. Luna hummed, absentmindedly kneading at Surprise’s doughy butt cheeks as she held her in place, all the while staring longingly down upon the white mare’s blissful expression.
“In the olden times, a mare that could afford a rump as plush as this,” Luna sunk her fingers into Surprise’s ass, “was truly a rare sight to behold.” Luna made a deep, throaty purr, like an amorous lioness, as she rotated her hips against her mare’s rump, feeling every square inch within Surprise’s depths. “Do you feel that?” she asked as her horn briefly sparked.
Surprise’s thrashing resumed all the more virulent as Luna held her tight. “What is that!?” she cried. “It’s like I got goose bumps in my cunny!”
“A thin aura of magic has been applied applied along mine stallion meat,” growled Luna. Her face was flushed as she continued rotating her hips. She was now sliding in and out, less than an inch at a time, but every so often she would press in just enough for the tip of her flare to kiss at Surprise’s womb. “I feel it, the tactile sensation of my sympathetic aura,” she explained with a lick of her lips. “We were right, dearest Surprise. Thou dost indeed taste as good as thou feels.”
Gibberish flowed from Surprise’s lips as she struggled desperately to form a coherent thought. It was like Luna’s dick was covered in microscopic tongues, continuously sparking and stroking at her sensitive insides in just the right way to make her crazy. Yet the sparks were careful, stimulating her just enough to keep her on the edge without allowing her to cum. It was painful in the most amazing way she could imagine as her mind was torn between wanting this feeling to end and last forever all at once.
After nearly a minute of her slow, rhythmic bucking, Luna pulled out all the way to the tip. Surprise was granted only a few seconds of reprieve to catch her breath before the alicorn quickly plunged back all the way to the hilt. Exercising a level of control that even the most talented and expensive of whorses could only gawk at, Luna repeated her rhythm of pulling almost all the way out and plunging back in to the base, but with the in-equine speed of shallow, rapid thrusts.
The burning tingle from her already sensitive cock was amplified by the addition of other sensations brought on by her spell. The shlicks and shlurps of Surprise’s penetration were as loud to Luna as if they were happening against her ear. The thick aroma of the pegasus’ musk was almost enough to overwhelm her senses. And indeed, Luna was able to taste through her phallus, drinking in the ambrosia of Surprise’s love nectar as she was pushed ever closer.
Surprise did her best to move her hips to meet with Luna’s, but the alicorn’s mighty thrusts were simply too powerful. Each time Surprise was thrown off of whatever balance she’d momentarily achieved, only remaining upright by Luna’s good graces. The moment of tender love making had past. Now Surprise was nothing but a tool of lust, a sleeve to Luna’s cock to be used and abused at her discretion. And at that moment, Surprise’s sex addled and barely coherent mind could not conceive of a happier fate.
Luna looked down at the blank, blissful look on Surprise’s face. Her eyes had rolled to the back of her head and her tongue was hanging limply from her mouth. Deciding that she’d played with her new lover enough, Luna bottomed out one last time, sending a jolt through her dick’s aura to trigger a simultaneous climax. Luna felt her shaft widen in Surprise’s depths before the tip flared and fired off its load. Gallons upon gallons of thick, stallion spunk were shot off and injected directly into Surprise’s womb. Luna couldn’t help but marvel as she watched Surprise’s already plump middle begin to swell with her load.
Surprise was only moderately aware of her own climax as she felt her womb being filled. Luna’s ejaculate had put every other stallion she’d ever had to shame, and it was still going, stretching her belly out in ways that had only been matched by an all-you-can-eat-buffet. The ecstasy had reached a level beyond what the pudgy mare had ever imagined possible, sending her mind off to blissful fantasies as she lay limply in Luna’s grasp.
With the last, forceful shot of her climax petering out, Luna lifted beneath Surprise’s lower back and flipped the mare upward. The white pegasus was limp, burning hot all over, and the swell of her belly was still growing. Luna wrapped her arms around her unconscious lover, pulled her against her breasts for a soft embrace, and placed a soft kiss to her cheek.
Surprise blinked, groaning and stirring like she’d just woken up. Her body felt amazing all over, but drained beyond anything she had ever experience. She quickly remembered what had brought her to this condition as her eyes zeroed in on the sparkling ocean that was Luna’s teal eyes. She smiled and, with what remaining strength she could muster, returned the kiss to the mare’s lips. “Ha hun uuh,” she babbled tiredly, hoping with the last of her will that her message was understood.
Luna tightened the embrace and, still keeping the smaller mare impaled on her cock, pressed her lips to Surprise’s ear. “I love you too.”
From there, Luna fell back on her rump, carrying Surprise with her as she levitated a pitcher of ice water and a few herbal stimulants from the night stand. Surprise chugged the entire pitcher in a matter of seconds, forcing Luna to laugh as she magically replenished it, pulling straight from the mineral water in her private reserves. Only a modest amount of stimulants were applied to the refilled pitcher, allowing the pegasus to recover at a safer, more gradual speed. Not only was this way safer, it allowed for some tender, post-sex cuddles.
“I believe that makes this our turn,” Silver informed after swallowing Thomas’ load. She lifted herself up to sit on her knees as she eyed his panting form. “One moment,” she said before shuffling across the bed to retrieve two glasses of ice water and placed a stimulant pill in Thomas’ hand. Her inner thighs were sticky from her own climax, but she felt confident enough in her endurance to not need any extra help. “Here. Drink this.”
Thomas nodded tiredly and accepted the glass. He downed its contents and pill quickly, chuckling when he finished. “My turn hasn’t even started and I’m already feeling drained.” Even as he spoke, he could feel the tingly numbness in his extremities and mind being washed away by the wave of restorative magic. It felt almost as good as his last orgasm.
“Better?”
Thomas nodded.
“Good.” Silver planted a slightly prolonged kiss to the man’s cheek, thanking him for his indulgence, before hopping off the side of the bed and making for the wheel. As she watched it spin, she silently hoped for something she could do to show Thomas her appreciation. “The Rider,” she read, smiling as the demonstrating ponies showed exactly what she had wished for.
“Lie down,” Silver commanded as she strutted back to her previous position. “It’s time to show you how good it feels to let the mare take the lead.”
Thomas chuckled indulgently as he followed her direction, lying flat on his back and resting his head on a miraculously dry pillow. “Mares taking the lead, huh? What a novel concept,” he intoned dryly.
“You know what I mean,” Silver said as she hopped up beside Thomas. Standing on all fours, she took the moment to examine his body. His physique had become significantly more toned since the first time she saw him. He was pleasantly lean with just the right amount of muscle where it counted. Even now, the peculiar shape of his cock still intrigued her, especially as it glistened with her drying saliva.
“Do I?” he asked.
Silver rolled her eyes. “This Kamasutra list just seems so focused on giving the male full control when everypony knows that it’s only proper for the female to take the lead and give her stallion a good time.” As she explained, she turned around to face away from his upper half. She looped one leg over his middle and rested that knee against his side, sitting herself on his stomach. “Aah,” she sighed contently as she felt the beginning of abs brush against her moist lips.
“I thought you guys only knew how to do it with the guy on top?” asked Thomas. Without even thinking, he set his hands on Silver’s cutie marks as he stared at her pert backside. The swishing of her tail over his chest tickled a little, occasionally brushing at his face. Chuckling at her involuntary show of happiness, Thomas decided to hurry things along and dig his fingers into Silver’s flanks, making her hiss deliciously.
“Impatient, are we?” Silver teased.
“Oh hey pot. Name’s kettle. Have we met?” Thomas joked as he started kneading his hands into her marks, loving the way her toned flesh gave in to his touch. Her inner thighs were still sticky from his earlier fingering, a fact he took pride in as her matted fur rubbed against his sides.
“Touché,” laughed Silver as she set her hands down in front of her, between Thomas’ legs, and began her slow slide forward. “I suppose it’s time to put my money where my mouth is, aye?”
“More like putting your lips where your other lips were,” joked Moonlight from across the bed. She was now sitting with her back against the headrest while Honey sat in her lap and lazily rotated her pelvis around the unicorn’s dick. The sight of the small male so happily submitting like this was turning them both on.
“Hey. I was gonna say that,” whined Thomas, although he really didn’t care. His attention was too focused on the feel of Silver’s nether lips winking against the skin of his belly and abdomen as they trailed saliva along their path, almost like she was nibbling him.
Silver took several long, deep breaths as she stared down at, as Moonlight had taken to calling it, Thomas’ little soldier. Gently she ran a finger along its underside, giggling as it twitched and the man beneath her shuddered. She continued petting with her fingers while inching her way closer, marveling in awe at how such a little thing could make her feel so amazing. Silver briefly remembered the capabilities of Luna’s cock, but quickly dismissed such thoughts. It would be rude to think of somepony else while focusing on the man below her, at least in this context.
Thomas was pushing slightly against Silver’s backside, trying to coax her forward so they could finally start. He watched as the fleshy ring of her anus started to quiver and grinned mischievously. “Your butt hole’s winking about as much as your pussy,” he informed, liking the way his words made Silver tense. “Why is that?” he asked, feigning naiveté.
“Muscle memory,” Silver answered breathily as she pulled his cock against his pelvis and aimed it at her winking marehood. “My body… it knows you’re just as likely to take one hole as the other.”
Silver’s words caused something to stir in Luna. While her male organ had been properly tended to so far, her other orifices had been almost criminally ignored. With a spark of her horn, she conjured up a pair of constructs the exact size and shape of Thomas’ phallus before sinking them both into her neglected holes, double penetrating her even as she kept her cock embedded within Surprise’s marehood. She moved the twin rods in and out of herself slowly, just enough to keep her furnace burning, so to speak.
After what felt like hours, Silver touched the entrance to her marehood to the tip of Thomas’ soldier. The contact sent a spark of pleasurable excitement through her, but she did her best to ignore it as she continued sliding forward. After Moonlight’s stallionhood had stretched her out so wonderfully, Thomas’ was fairly easy to take. Her marehood winked all the more exuberantly as the familiar head of the in-equine phallus disappeared within her depths. “So hot,” she panted as she sank further down.
“Yeah,” was all that Thomas was able to say as he turned his head to the side. Everyone was watching him. Four sets of eyes from four different, beautiful, amazing mares were staring intently at him, all while humping and caressing one another. The sounds of labored breaths and the wet slapping of flesh was all he could hear over the sound of his own pounding heartbeat. All of these hot ladies were watching him, getting off on watching him about to be fucked while they touched themselves and each other. “Hot.”
Silver sucked in a hissing breath after feeling Thomas fully sheathed inside her. She’d taken him enough times to know full well how far he could reach. The small size meant little compared to his unique shape and texture, sending rivulets of pleasure through her body. “I’m going to start moving now,” she informed. Both had already fucked and there was no need to wait for their bodies to adjust.
Thomas’ eyes were glued to Silver’s ass as she started her slow, careful bouncing. “Oh god, you’re tight!”
“If you didn’t feel so good,” panted Silver, “I might take offense at your surprise.”
Grinning, Thomas maneuvered his hands behind the bat mare and pried her ass cheeks apart, giving him an unobstructed view of his cock vanishing into her depths, as well as her twitching pucker. He was overcome with the need to make a cheesy one-liner. “Surprise this!” he said as he stabbed his trigger and middle fingers down to the second knuckles up her bum.
“Sweet Faust,” exclaimed Silver.
“Hehe. Good one,” Surprise giggle-snorted. She’d recovered enough to start humping in Luna’s lap and grind their breasts together.
Thomas prodded his fingers deeper into her anus, pumping them in and out at a rhythm that quickly synched up with Silver’s bouncing. “You like when I play with your ass?”
“As if you have to ask,” growled Silver. With one hand remaining on the bed for balance, she shot the other between both their legs and started playing with his scrotum. “And you?”
Thomas grunted in his throat, but otherwise said nothing. With his one hand fucking into Silver’s ass, he used the other to grip around her cutie mark, trying to push in time with her bouncing as he humped upwards.
“No. Don’t!” snapped Silver as she set one hand down on his knee. “Don’t move. Just leave everything to me.”
“Kay,” panted Thomas. His compliance was rewarded as Silver started making jerky, twisting motions around his cock. Once she got the hang of it, she would rise up until only the tip remained inside, tilting her hips off to the right, and then, on the fall, twist her hips counter clockwise.
“She’s ridin’ that bull like a pro,” observed Honey lethargically. She had craned her neck back to start snogging on Moonlight, holding the back of the unicorn’s head with one hand while the other played with her own green breast.
“How does it feel, Thomas, to be ridden by a real mare?” Silver taunted as she continued her bouncing. She still wanted to thank him for his earlier indulgence, and was alternating in her techniques. Sometimes she’d bounce regularly, sometimes she’d throw in the twist, and other times she’d slide up and down his belly, consuming his cock with each forward push. The sounds he made told her she was doing well, so she continued, loving the way his fingers were exploring her anal cavity.
“Close!” Thomas warned. Silver’s alternating assault was proving too much for him to handle. On top of that, a turn of his head showed that everyone else was nearing their own climaxes as well. A part of him wondered if Luna had done something, either cast a spell when he wasn’t looking or snuck everyone stimulants. Whatever the case, he knew his overly sensitive cock wouldn’t last much longer and he wanted to make sure Silver’s orgasm would be out of this world.
Timing Silver’s movements just right, Thomas lifted both hands from their perches just as she started coming down from her latest bounce. Then, with as much force as he could muster, brought both hands down to both ass cheeks with an earsplitting *crack*.
Silver’s wings sprung out and she threw her head back, mouth open and making a quiet, whining scream as she clenched around the cock inside her. Mare cum gushed from her lower lips and around Thomas’ groin, spraying all over both their thighs. At the same time, her clenching had also pushed Thomas over the edge, sending small jets of cum into her already soaked cunny.
Thomas gave an “oof” when Silver fell backwards onto his chest. His orgasm had already ended, even as hers was still going. His load had been so much less than the first couple time, less still compared to what he’d seen Moonlight and Luna do. However, such negative thoughts were washed away as he found his hands moving up and around Silver. He ran his fingers along her belly, studying the texture of her fur as if for the first time. Her breasts were softer than her ass and she gave the cutest squeak when he gave the one a squeeze. He held her close, pulling her against him as if she was some sort of lifeline. His back and ass were sweaty against the sheets and the drying liquid between his legs felt sticky and warm. More noticeable, however, was the proximity of her neck to his lips.
Smiling, Thomas leaned forward and began planting tender, loving kisses to Silver’s sweaty, smelly neck. She giggled, so he pressed his face more firmly into her mane as it fell around his head. Her smell was comforting and he inhaled deeply. Through the thick bands of hair, he was just able to make out that the eyes of the others were still upon him. They had also climaxed while watching him, and their faces looked just as blissful as he imagined Silver’s to be.
With so many good feelings brimming through his body and mind, a single thought asserted itself in the human’s head, demanding attention until he was forced to give it voice. “I love being a serviceman.”
“Change places,” proclaimed Luna once more. Even though everyone knew what she wanted this time, they were still too slow for her liking, which was understandable. Orgasming three times inside an hour tended to make mortals a little sluggish. As such, the Princess of the Night took it upon herself once more to do the moving for them, with the added bonus of giving each of them plenty of water and a few stimulants, depending on their weight and apparent levels of exhaustion.
Surprise was gently dropped in front of Moonlight, where the smaller mare instantly seized the larger in an aggressive cuddle, burying her face between the white mare’s wings. The pegasus’ plush body was practically built for snuggling, being so soft and warm; which suited the pegasus just fine as she returned the embrace the best that she could, loving the feeling of closeness. The plushness of Surprise’s ass around Moonlight’s cock was nothing to sneeze at either.
Luna welcomed Silver with open arms as the little bat mare settled snugly against the alicorn’s ample chest. Silver wrapped her arms around Luna’s amazonian neck while Luna pinned Silver’s wings to her back with her hands. They stayed like that for a bit, savoring the warmth and feel of one another’s bodies.
Thomas, by contrast, was yanked up by Honey before she’d even touched the bed. As the magic continued to lower her, she rolled around onto her back and smothered the human between her gargantuan bosoms. She loved the feeling of his small body squirming against her, especially when doing so caused his rejuvenated foal maker to poke at her teats.
“This is nice,” cooed Surprise as she pushed her butt back into Moonlight’s groin. “I almost want to stay like this.”
“Almost?” asked Moonlight cheekily.
“Yeah,” she giggled. “Almost.” With that, Surprise managed to pull herself from the alluring comfort of Moonlight’s embrace, took flight off the bed, and landed in front of the wheel. Both the short glide and landing had been a bit awkward, what with the mare’s wings weighted down with so much sweat, but she’d managed. Her head still felt swimmy from her recent orgasms and her wings were so sticky from the sweat that she’d barely managed more than a hover. Every muscle in her body ached so good, but the fire within her loins hadn’t dimmed in the slightest. She wanted… needed to continue, to know what other amazing feelings could be brought about from being with these ponies and human that she loved so dearly. With an antsy shake of her generous rump, she gave the wheel a spin. “The Right Angle,” she read, laughing as the generic stallion in the demonstration began groping the generic mare’s teats.
Moonlight slid off the bed as well and motioned for Surprise to come over to the side of the bed, directly between the other pairs of lovers. “Now get on your back.”
Surprise nodded and fell backwards onto the sheets with a *pomf*. She also threw her legs up high in the air, spreading them wide and showing off her well-used marehood, twitching pucker, and slightly reddened ass cheeks. “Ha. This is gonna be great!”
It warmed Moonlight’s heart to hear Surprise so enthusiastic. Her happy squealing gave the unicorn the fortitude to push past her mental fog to give her something worth squealing about. She grabbed the pegasus’ ankles, making her giggle as she guided the large, white legs around her back.
There Surprise crossed her ankles, entrapping Moonlight between her legs. After which she pulled the unicorn in close, slamming their pelvises together with an excited giggle. Alas, neither had taken the time to aim, and so Moonlight’s standing shaft missed its mark by a wide margin. Momentum caused it to flop around a moment before it settled into a regal standing position between the mares’ bellies. The flat head was already leaking pre in anticipation.
“Don’t be so impatient,” laughed Moonlight. Surprise’s mirth was proving contagious as the unicorn readjusted her hoofing and ran her hands along the white mare’s belly, stopping just below the breasts. “Good things come to ponies who wait.”
“But I wanna get bucked noooow,” whined Surprise playfully as she gyrated her hips beneath Moonlight’s balls.
Moonlight gave a snort of anticipation as she felt Surprise’s plush ass compress against her legs. “You are just too cute.”
Surprise’s eyes took on a strange shimmer, glistening with youthful innocence and seeming to grow. Her bottom lip puffed out in an impressive pout. And, to top off this onslaught of cuteness, she touched a finger to her lip and spoke in her most adorably baby voice. “Pwetty pwease?”
How could Moonlight say no to a face like that and still claim to have a soul? Short answer: she couldn’t.
Pushing against the grip of Surprise’s legs, Moonlight reared herself back and took aim at the pegasus’ dripping snatch. Gripping her shaft in her magic, she angled it downwards at Surprise’s hungry opening. Using her hands to hold the white mare steady, Moonlight then kissed the tip of her flat head to Surprise’s winking nether lips. Both mares hissed at the contact, but Moonlight continued onwards, surprised by her own speed.
Apparently, Luna had stretched Surprise out much more than Moonlight expected, for her cock glided into the slick vaginal cavity with nary a hint of trouble; although both mares did get the shivers when Moonlight’s medial ring passed over Surprise’s clit. In one smooth motion, she’d fully hilted inside of Surprise, pressing her balls against the white mare’s plump ass cheeks. Feeling a surge of impatience herself, the unicorn didn’t bother waiting a second longer as she pulled her butt back, once more shivering as her medial ring touched Surprise’s clit, and then slammed back in.
“Unf! Oh yes,” Surprise purred in want. “Unf. Just like that.”
Moonlight giggled and once more slammed her hips forward. She inhaled deeply through her nose. “And you smell even better than before,” she said as she started rotating her hips against the white mare’s rump. Surprise’s body was just so plush, like the softest of pillows calling her to bed. Yet beneath the plumpness of her abdomen, Moonlight was able to make out the distinct outline of her cock as she made slow, casual thrusts. She pressed both hands down into the white mare’s abdomen, hissing when she compressed her own dick under the pressure.
“Smell?” tittered Surprise as she rotated her own hips to match Moonlight’s movements. Her hands, needing something to do, had found their way to her breasts and began fiercely kneading the doughy flesh.
“Mmh hmm,” affirmed Moonlight. Her eyes were half-lidded in pleasure. “I can almost taste it,” she added with a smack of her lips. Her hands were now gliding over Surprise’s waist, relishing in the feel of her warm softness. “It’s like… the more I touch,” she smacked her lips again, “the more I can taste.”
“Really?” giggled Surprise. “How’s that?”
“Like I’m about to get a really bad cavity.” Both mares shared a laugh as Moonlight ceased her rotating. She’d begun a more steady rhythm of slow, deep thrusts. Each collision of hips made lewd smacking sounds, but the unicorn was more focused on the blissful moans of her partner, using them to measure how good she was performing.
Surprise fought against the urge to toss and turn. Each withdrawal of Moonlight’s cock left her with an excruciating emptiness, making the following feeling of fullness all the more wonderful. “You’re thicker than I expected,” she informed breathily. “Proportionally, I think you’re even bigger than Luna.”
Ouch, Thomas thought, more amused than hurt at how he was left out of the comparison. He was too preoccupied with Honey rubbing his body across hers like a makeshift sponge. Mostly she used him to bodily massage her breasts from every angle, but every now and then she’d adjust her position to better pay attention down south. However, he was not so keen to just lie limp and did what he could to show affection to her breasts, keeping them within arm’s reach as much as possible.
Luna and Silver weren’t any more patient as the former had already impaled the latter on her massive meat. Silver’s belly had distended to an absurd level, stretching and shrinking with each entry. The bat mare’s tongue was hanging from her lips as unintelligible burbles of bliss escaped her mouth. Luna was grunting a bit quieter as she gripped the smaller mare’s hips, using her like a living sex toy.
“You smell great, too,” complimented Surprise with a lick of her lips. “It’s pungent and masculine, but there’s this feminine aftertaste that’s, nnngh, making me crazy.” (1)
Noticing the way Surprise’s breasts were bouncing, even in spite of the restraints of her own hands, Moonlight remembered the image on the screen and slid her hands forward up the mare’s front. Quickly she wrapped her digits around the soft, supple teat flesh and dug them in as hard as she dared. Surprise’s crying moan of joy suggested that this was the right call.
“Oh buck yes!” Surprise was squeezing her vaginal muscles tighter than ever. Despite being on her back, the strength of her legs around Moonlight’s back enabled her to exact an impressive level of control. Easily she manipulated Moonlight’s movements, surprising the mare as the tables were turned. With the unicorn now playing with her breasts – as she was supposed to – the pegasus took the opportunity to start playing with her clit, massaging it tenderly as it was pummeled by Moonlight’s cock.
“C-close!” warned Moonlight. Her hips were now moving entirely of their own accord, smacking Surprise’s butt cheeks with reckless abandon. She couldn’t take it anymore. The unicorn threw her head back and bellowed a guttural groan of ecstasy. With a clenching of her nuts and a shiver up her cock, she hilted herself one last time before unleashing her load. “Gaaaah!”
Surprise had been holding in her own orgasm for a few seconds now, but the feeling of her swelling abdomen tore down the last of her barriers and she sprayed her juices all across Moonlight’s groin. Her body sprung up, pulling Moonlight close as she gave her friend and lover a fierce embrace. With the continuing stream of jizz shooting into her womb, filling her with a sense of warmness that quickly spread throughout her body, Surprise wanted to feel Moonlight, needed the feeling of closeness to assuage her half-delirious mind that their love making had been real.
As with all the others before, the mares held onto their embrace, craving the feeling of closeness in their aftermath of bliss. Surprise’s cunt had just finished milking the last of Moonlight’s seed as they slowly came down from their post-coital high. When they did, they pulled back just far enough to stare into one another’s eyes, and kissed.
Taking this as her cue, Silver leapt from the heavenly perch of Luna’s cock and took flight over to the spinner. “Finally,” she panted. “I’ve been waiting for this all night.”
“Clearly,” chortled Thomas. At her confusion, he indicated that she look down.
Seeing the trails of thick, gooey seed gushing from her snatch and dribbling down her thighs, Silver audibly winced as she became aware of the cramping pain in her legs. She still smiled, though, and gave Luna a reassuring nod. “It hurts,” she panted, cupping a hand under her mildly pregnant-looking belly, “but I love it.”
Luna smiled her appreciation. “Perhaps we should hope for something simple, something more relaxing.”
Silver wanted to deny this wish, to declare a challenge that she could handle whatever trials this wheel had to offer, but thought better of it. “If I’m being honest with myself, I think I really would like something relaxing, too.” With a long, tired sigh, Silver reached up, gave the wheel a spin, and watched as it landed on her next activity. “Afternoon delight,” she read with an almost relieved sigh as she watched the demonstration.
Honey gave a skeptical hum as she held Thomas against her bosom, one hand cupped under his ass. “Ya’ll didn’t happen ta fix that thing, did ya?” she asked of Luna.
“And if I did?” Luna asked, her tone and body language daring Honey to take the bait.
Honey just chuckled good-naturedly. “Then Ah’ll be sure ta pay ya back later,” she said with a playful wink.
Luna’s eyes narrowed and her half smile looked full of razor sharp teeth. “You can try.” Her words were passive, but her tone was oddly formal. It sounded like she was passing a criminal sentence. But such implications were quickly forgotten as she turned back to the limping Silver.
Silver flew back to Luna, only for the alicorn to seize her in her magic to grant her a much softer landing. This earned a grateful smile from the bat as she allowed herself to be placed on her back. In mirror of the demonstration, she rested on her back and lifted her legs straight up in the air, breathing heavily.
Luna lay on her side and looked between Silver and the others, making sure they all had a good vantage point. Grinning at this confirmation, she softly took hold of Silver’s hips and dragged them to her waiting erection. Gently she pressed her own hips forward, slowly easing her way back into Silver’s welcoming depths. There was no resistance from the freshly fucked hole, but it was still exquisitely tight. The bat mare groaned and Luna held onto Silver’s thigh for leverage, pulling herself deeper into Silver’s warm, dripping embrace.
“Oh buck!” gasped Silver as she felt Luna sink in all the way to the base, the plump alicorn balls pressed snuggly against her right butt cheek. She released the tension in her legs and let them fall down over Luna’s hips. The demonstration suggested that her hooves would likely touch the bedding on the other side, but Luna’s massive hips proved quite the insurmountable wall for her little legs.
“Comfy?” asked Luna. She was laying on her right side, head propped up on a stack of pillows she’d just summoned. With her left hand she held Silver’s thigh in place and stroked her thumb teasingly close to her cutie mark. With her right hand she touched Silver’s belly and began stroking her fingers in little circles.
Silver arched her back up only once to adjust her wings under her back. With that done, she gave an audible relieved sigh and started rotating her hips against Luna’s. Her eyes locked with her beloved and she reached out for the larger mare’s hand, gripping her fingers firmly. She gave a contented hum and just continued to gently rotate her hips in little circles. “I can’t imagine anything better,” she replied. “The bedding is soft, my marehood is filled, and I’m staring into the most gorgeous eyes of the most gorgeous mare in the world.”
Luna blushed at the sincere sentiment behind the honeyed words.
“What more could I want?”
Luna nodded and rotated her own hips to meet Silver’s soft, shallow thrusts. She suppressed the part of her mind urging her to ramp up her game, to pound Silver’s already sore backside and make her cry out in ecstasy. It wasn’t hard, though. The look of utter adoration and bliss on her little lover’s face was all the stimulation she needed right now. It completed her on a much deeper level than mere physical pleasure. After all those years of bitterness, of resenting her sister and neglecting those who cared for her the most, it felt good to have the delusion broken. And while such scars never truly went away, the feeling of healing and completion welling up in her soul would not be denied.
Luna looked up to see what the others were doing. Apparently they’d followed her lead and slowed down their own rutting to match her pace. Thomas was situated between Honey’s gargantuan thighs and was steadily humping away while she kept her hand on his backside, controlling his pace while breathing calmly. As Moonlight rested over Surprise, Luna could confirm that the unicorn was inside the pegasus. However, neither mare seemed to be interested in moving much, either. Instead, the two mares simply embraced and gently rocked their bodies against one another with little regard for their genitals. Everyone was just feeling content being with one another, adding to the air of contentment that Luna felt threatening to weigh her eyelids down.
The Princess gave a slightly rougher thrust just to keep herself and Silver from falling asleep. This startled a squeak out of Silver, but she gave no other sign of her contentment being broken.
“I don’t know how anypony can live without this,” murmured the little bat.
“Likewise,” Luna replied. “How are you feeling?”
It took Silver a moment to figure out her answer. “Like I’m sitting right on the edge of asleep and awake and my body can’t make up its mind,” she admitted with a soft laugh.
Luna nodded. She’d figured as much by the way Silver’s stare had grown rather dazed and distant. Even so, she didn’t really mind. Right now, it was enough to know that she was at the heart of these feelings of trust and contentment. Love might have technically been Cadence’s domain, but the honed senses of alicorns could still pick up on such sentiments.
The Princess of the Night just stayed like this with Silver for an immeasurable amount of time. The mares just enjoyed feeling one another while Luna’s thrusts were more to simply maintain her erection than to actually achieve climax. The screen had said the function of this position was to regain one’s breath during longer sessions. It had not lied and, after roughly ten minutes of gentle rutting, Luna could feel tension creep back into the moment as everyone’s energy returned.
“Ready ta get this party started?” Honey asked, a bit tiredly.
Thomas was still situated between her legs, held in place by her hand and lethargically picked his head up to meet her gaze. Just because his cock had sprung back to life in her moist folds didn’t mean that he’d fully recovered from all the exhaustion. Lots of sex with one or even a few mares was one thing, but somehow adding these two to the mix had really drained him. Even dutifully swallowing the magically floating glob of energy stimulant before his face did little to help.
“Tuckered out, are ya?” Honey asked, more concerned than disappointed.
Thomas chuckled and dropped his face into the mare’s firm abs. “Kinda. I’m both tired and raring to go all at once, if that makes any sense.”
Honey smiled kindly and messed his hair. She knew exactly what he meant. Plow had also been afflicted with such plights from time to time. It was just the sort of thing that came with the job of one stallion satisfying several mares. However, with that experience came a solution. She then slid him off of her onto the bed and stood, leaving him to rest. Her eyes glanced down at his erection, confirming that his body was indeed ready even if his stamina was wavering. Afterwards she nodded and made her way to the wheel. “Let’s see if we can find somethin’ more relaxin’ fer ya,” she said, hoping the wheel would hear her words and abide.
She gave it a spin. Images flashed on the screen briefly as the wheel shifted between each option. Each one granted Honey a brief flash of what the wheel had to offer, most of which placed the onus of guiding the positions on the male. It still seemed so strange to her that human culture would work this way, in complete contrast to everything she’d been brought up to believe. As a whole, all these selections came across as equal parts backwards and kinky. Then again, it wasn’t like pony culture had much in the way of variety when it came to sexual positions, so maybe there was something to be said for males taking charge. Eventually the wheel stops spinning and the selection is made. “Thigh master?” Honey asked, studying the demonstration. Her lip curled into a smile. “Huh. Ah like it.”
“Looks fine from here, too,” Thomas adds, still lying down. He managed to pull himself up and adjust his position on the bed, wanting to meet Honey halfway. Whatever tiredness he may have felt, he was determined not to let any of his lovers down this night. Honey and Surprise were to be welcomed into the fold and he would follow this ceremony to the end, for them, for Luna, and for himself.
Honey smiled and swaggered up to the edge of the bed before climbing onto all fours. Luna levitated a pillow beneath Thomas’ head, earning an appreciative nod from the man and earth mare. Honey then moved up alongside the smaller male and gently ran the back of her fingers along his cheek. She mouthed ‘Thank you.’
Thomas just grinned back at her. “Trust me. I was happy to do it.”
Honey beamed and planted a soft kiss on the man’s cheek. When she pulled back, Honey turned around and swung her leg out to the side over Thomas’ body. She planted both knees to either side of his waist, facing away from him. Craning to look back over her shoulder, she flagged her tail and bent forward enough to part her ass cheeks, giving Thomas an unobstructed view of her pussy and anus.
Thomas reached up, but was only just able to touch his fingers to that succulent ass. He let his palms glide over her vast cheeks, feeling the warmth beneath his fingers as both orifices began to wink and twitch. Glancing at the screen, he then pulled his knees in and up, bending them while keeping his legs slightly parted.
Honey nodded back and looked down. She carefully took Thomas’ erect cock between her fingers and lined it up with her winking snatch. Exhaling, she gently lowered herself down. She sucked in a breath when his tip made contact with her vaginal lips. “Ya ready, sugar?” she asked as her nether lips winked again, almost nibbling his mushroom head. Thomas nodded and Honey resumed her descent. The rest of the shaft followed without fanfare and he had fully hilted in under a second. Both lovers’ breath hitched, but Honey wasn’t quite done yet. Carefully managing her weight, she let her gargantuan ass spread out over his torso, causing him to sink a little into the mattress. She took a moment to pause and allow them both to adjust to the feeling.
Thomas took several measured breaths as Honey’s weight set upon him. She’d been careful to use her legs to relieve him of most of the pressure, but that made it no less considerable. The mare’s butt cheeks, while weighty, had an oddly comforting feel as they compressed down on his chest. Thomas eventually gave a contented sigh and rested his hands fully on her cheeks, only to realize that her cutie marks were in grabbing distance. He grinned to himself as he snaked his fingers up and around until they touched the change in color of the mare’s fur, making her tense.
Honey gave a relaxed sigh as she acclimated to the tingle from her cutie marks. She craned her neck back once more, laughing when she could only barely see Thomas’ face poking out over her rump. She flexed her vaginal muscles as she felt his length inside her and his body beneath her. A quick thrill shot through her gut as she realized the power she had over this little guy. He was so small and so tired. The thought of him being so utterly at her mercy caused her arousal to spike. And then she heard the panting.
Luna and Silver were having a rather distracted make out session as both had their eyes opened and fixed on Honey and her living cushion. Honey laughed at just how awkward the two were with one another while trying to divide up their attention. The pegasus and unicorn had much less trouble, however. Both mares were sitting hip-to-hip as both pairs of hands were exploring the others’ body. Moonlight had one arm hooked over Surprise’s shoulder to grab at her breast while the other fingered at her pussy. Surprise, however, was leaning forward slightly so that both hands could tend to Moonlight’s penis and pussy at once. All the while, both sets of their eyes were fixed on Honey and Thomas as well.
“Havin’ such a li’l guy ‘neath me,” Honey began breathily, the knowledge of having an audience only making her hotter. Setting her hands on Thomas’ knees, she gave another sigh as she began rocking her hips back and forth. “It’s like havin’ one o’ those special body pillows. Ya know, with the extra features,” she purred. “But yer not jus’ some toy, are ya? Nah.” She didn’t want to risk hurting him by bouncing too much, so she opted to gyrate her hips instead. That did the trick, giving the impression of movement while keeping her hips in approximately the same place. “Yer a livin’, breathin’, thinkin’, lovin’ stallion. ‘N’ right now, yer all mine,” she growled seductively.
Thomas groaned as Honey’s vaginal muscled gripped and massaged his penis. Somehow she was managing to be both enormous and tight all at once. With a predatory gleam in her eye, she gave her gyrating ass a firm spank, sending a very distinct ripple across her buns. “God you’re big!” he blurted without thinking.
“Ya don’t say,” Honey remarked cheekily as she gently rocked her hips back and forth. He wasn’t exactly sliding in and out, but the friction was no less exquisite against her sensitive vaginal walls.
“I do,” Thomas panted back. “I think I’m addicted to big mares, or just mares on top in general,” he said with a breathy chuckle while digging his fingers into the green mare’s marks.
“Considerin’ how small ya are,” Honey began with a toothy grin as she eyed up her audience, “Ah don’t think that’ll ever be a problem for ya, Sugar.”
“Halleluiah!” Thomas proclaimed as he tried bucking his hips up. The mare’s firm and heavy rear was an insurmountable obstacle in just about every way, yet he still managed to push his hips up just enough to add that extra bit of friction that made the mare softly squeak. He glanced over to Moonlight just in time to see her lick her lips while eyeing them both up. He wondered which of them she would rather trade places with.
“B-buck!” grunted Honey from Thomas’ motions. “‘Atta boy!” she cheered. It was a little bit inspiring to know that, even against an obstacle as tremendous as her homegrown Apple rear, the little guy was still pressing on. She had the power, and he definitely liked it, but he wasn’t just content to lie there like a doormat and let her do all the work. As meek as the little guy was most of the time, he seemed to have a knack for giving his all and becoming assertive when the happiness of those he cared about was on the line. As a reward, she decided to alter the tempo of her bouncing just a little, allowing herself to reach between her legs and fondle his balls.
Thomas sucked in a surprised breath, inhaling deeply through his mouth and nose of the mare’s rear. Honey’s ass was as obscene in smell as it was in size, reeking of sweaty apples and bouncing with a plump allure. Both stimuli only spurred Thomas on as he continued to hump away. Honey’s slick pussy was squeezing him in a vice-like grip now, and he knew what that meant. With all the strength he could muster, Thomas pushed deep into Honey’s love hole, trying to counter her rotations with his own. Then he took in another deep breath. “Oh fuck! C-close!” he warned.
“Damn, yer comfy,” Honey said as she ground her ass down while trying to hilt his cock inside her. She could also feel that her orgasm was imminent. “Ah ought ta thing ‘bout gettin’ mah own human cushion some time.”
“We should all be so lucky,” Silver managed as she and Luna fondled one another.
“But fer right now, yer…” Honey paused as she felt her climax near. “All…” She lifted her hips up one last time and, as forcefully as she dared, slammed her butt back down. “Mine!”
Thomas’ back tried to arch as his hips shot up. The muscles of his groin tightened and he hilted himself inside the mare, gripping her marks to hold himself in place. After cumming several times already, the load he shot up into Honey’s vaginal canal was embarrassingly miniscule. Yet it still felt no less amazing when her tunnel gave one final contraction. She gave a mewling moan as a small waterfall erupted from her nether lips and pooled around his hips and the surrounding bedding. He idly wondered if the bed sheets hated their users for inflicting such frequent and lewd abuse.
Honey’s moan quieted as she fell forwards, catching herself with her hands. Thomas’ knees brushed against her abdomen, but she was barely aware of this as her brain was awash with the sensation of her climax. Her vision had gone somewhat blurry and her legs and lower back had the most peculiar tingle. She sat like that for a good long while, doing little moving apart from heavy breathing as she came down from her high.
Thomas was already as tuckered out as he’d ever felt, but suffered no other side effects from cumming in Honey’s pussy. Well, his chest was a little raw from being rubbed by her stout ass so roughly, but that seemed more like a working hazard than anything else. His arms lay limp at his sides and he stared aimlessly up at the ceiling. “Th-thanks,” he panted.
“Mah pleasure,” Honey droned back.
Thomas was actually thanking Honey for leaning forward so that his chest was no longer being compressed. Not only was it easier to breathe this way, but the diminished musk in the air made each breath feel almost as refreshing as downing a glass of ice water after a long day in the sun. However, he decided it wasn’t worth pointing that out.
“This has truly been grand,” Luna informed, drawing all attention to herself. She smiled with such tender affection as she gazed around the room, looking at each of her concubines. “You are all so… so wonderful,” she said as her eyes began to water. “W-I am just so very…”
Silver, who had been sitting on Luna’s knee, stood up and partially wedged herself between the alicorn’s grand breasts. This put her within reach of Luna’s neck, which she urgently wrapped herself around in a loving embrace. Luna returned the gesture by placing a hand over Silver’s lower back, holding her in place without pushing her further in.
“Thank you,” Luna whispered.
“Always,” was Silver’s proud reply.
The rest of the harem watched the tender scene play out in relative silence. Moonlight and Surprise ceased fingering one another. Instead they opted to wrap one arm around the other in a partial embrace of companionship. Thomas and Honey used the moment to recoup their energy, although the mare refused to disengage herself from the man. Even limp, his stallionhood just felt too comfortable inside her.
Finally Luna recovered enough to speak. “I am just so very grateful to all of you,” she said while nuzzling the top of Silver’s head. “That you have chosen to be here with me, for me. It… the way you make me feel, and how I feel about each of you, words cannot do it justice.”
“I don’t think you needed any,” Thomas said. His voice was a little raspy, so he didn’t even blink when a glass of water was levitated up to him. He downed it swiftly and gasped in relief as he felt the cool liquid flow through his body. “I mean, yeah. I think we’re all on the same page on this one. Even me, so that really says how obvious it is.” That earned a round of chuckles from the mares.
“Ah guess that’s it,” boasted Honey with a chipper grin. She’d finally regained enough strength to sit up. “Ah’ve bucked everypony in the harem.”
“Don’t go getting full of yourself just yet,” cautioned Thomas from behind the earth mare’s behind.
“He’s right,” agreed Silver as she let a hand slide down one of Luna’s breasts. “You’ve yet to experience the full wrath of an alicorn’s lust.”
“You sure?” asked Surprise. Sensing a lightning of the mood, she pushed her butt into Moonlight’s groin and rubbed at her extra swollen middle. “Because that felt pretty wrathful, if you know what I mean,” she tittered tiredly. There was only so much that magical stimulants could do for physical exhaustion.
“Yeah. Ah mean, what else is there?”
“And ya jinxed it,” bemoaned Thomas. He gave Honey’s butt a scolding slap. “We tried to warn ya, but then ya had to go and get cocky.”
“Pretty sure Luna and Moonlight are the only ones that got cocky,” chortled Surprise.
“Praise the Princess of the Night, hallowed be thy name,” prayed Silver. “And forgive these two knaves. They know not what they do.”
Leaning back, Luna began stroking her chin and made a thoughtful hum.
“If we’re taking votes,” Moonlight chimed in, “then I say we put these newbies through the ringer, teach them their place in the pecking order.”
“Isn’t that, like, what we just spent more than a month doing?” asked Surprise. Her smile had wavered a bit, becoming nervous-cited.
“Oh, most certainly not,” tittered Luna, having reached a decision. “The last month and prior events were little more than a warm up, a prelude to the true test of your suitability as royal concubines,” she explained with a toothy, predatory grin.
It had been almost half an hour since the warm up had concluded. Although ‘coordinated orgy’ might have been a better term. Luna doted attentively upon each of her lovers, giving them water and energy supplements as seemed necessary. But she was careful not to go overboard with the latter. After all, there really was nothing quite like a bit of all natural rest to do a body good, especially after all that those bodies had already endured.
Luna had arranged her concubines, both old and new, all around her, quietly encouraging them to use her body as a pillow. Thomas rested his head on her right shoulder with his eyes closed. She could tell by the lack of movement behind his eyelids that he wasn’t yet asleep, but he was certainly relaxing enough that the only thing holding him back from slipping into slumber was his insomnia. Moonlight had wedged herself between the man and alicorn, laying her head on Luna’s belly while possessively holding Thomas’ leg against her chest. Luna mused at the cute image. As soon as the sorting began, Silver had clambered atop Luna to claim herself a spot between the alicorn’s breasts. She too looked to be just on the verge of slipping off to dreamland, but was holding herself at bay with a couple fingers in her sex. Surprise had glomped onto Luna’s left leg, affixing herself to the limb much like a baby lemur with its mother. Apart from Luna herself, Surprise seemed the most awake with how she affectionately nuzzled the larger mare’s thigh, cooing in contentment. Lastly was Honey, who made herself comfortable in the crook of Luna’s left arm with her own hand resting idly on the Alicorn’s exposed nipple.
Luna gave a sigh of contentment as she felt the warmth of the collective bodies against her own. They were all hot and sticky from their recent activities, but the alicorn felt at peace even with the matted, sweaty fur rubbing against her own. In a way, she often found that these moments of quiet closeness were even more enjoyable than the amazing sex that came before. Her sister had parroted much the same sentiment, affirming that such shows of companionship was what alicorns like themselves truly craved. Hot and often kinky sex was more of a bonus than anything.
“So how’s that book coming along?” Silver asked.
“On and off,” Thomas replied with a yawn.
“We know where we want the story to go, but getting there is proving a little tricky,” Moonlight added.
“Tell me you’re at least half way done,” Silver insisted. “After so much time, how much more can there be?”
Thomas shifted around against Luna’s warm fur. “Maybe. We’ve talked the plot out, and it really feels like we’ve crossed the halfway mark, but …”
“But new ideas just keep coming to mind,” grumbled Moonlight as she stroked Thomas’ knee. “He says something new that gives me an idea. I tell him my idea and that gives him new ideas. Next thing you know, we’ve reread the whole thing and found an inconsistency we overlooked before. So now we’re trying to rewrite everything so the inconsistency goes away, all while trying to add in this new thing which one or both of us like.”
“What happens when one o’ ya’ll likes somethin’ the other doesn’t?” Honey asked.
“We try to talk it out and see what feels right for the story,” Thomas replied.
“So far it’s been pretty civil. At least he hasn’t made me sleep on the couch, yet,” joked Moonlight, earning soft sounds of amusement from the others.
“I would never,” Thomas asserted devoutly. “Well, not unless you were super gassy or something.”
Surprise giggle snorted.
“City boy,” Honey chided good-naturedly before she leaned to one side, fanned her tail a little, and let out a soft squeaker. Her expression suggested she’d expected better of herself.
Surprise’s body seemed to vibrate with guttural laughter as she pressed her face deeply into Luna’s thigh to hold back her guffaws.
“If I weren’t so comfortable right now, I’d climb down there and shove a cork up that green plot of yours,” informed Silver with deadly, lethargic seriousness.
Honey snickered. “Yeah right. Like you’ve never cut one loose in bed before.”
Silver huffed indignantly. “I won’t even dignify that with a response.”
Moonlight quickly joined Surprise in the suppressed chortles. “You know, just because winged ponies have better hearing, that doesn’t make the rest of us deaf.”
“It most certainly does not, Moonlight,” Thomas said flatly.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, feigning offense.
“Whenever we’re sleeping alone, about half the time your little spoon is right up against my crotch. If I don’t hear it, I feel the damn things.”
Moonlight snorted. “I’ve never heard you complain before.”
“That’s because I’m too busy laughing at you breaking the gentlemen’s code.” Thomas’ remark set all the other mares either groaning or chuckling at the crude reference.
“If I might interject,” Luna spoke up. “I think I prefer Honey’s sentiment. This era is far too squeamish about natural bodily functions. Can you believe it’s actually a faux pas for a mare in heat to leak on somepony’s floor? As if such a thing is not inevitable.”
“Ah can,” Honey replied flatly. “‘Specially if it’s a new carpet or somethin’.”
“The shame,” Silver said darkly. “Shame on you, Luna. You’ve just been outclassed by a country bumpkin. How do you plead?”
“Hold on a second,” Surprise cut in. “If we’re doing a trial thing, then shouldn’t we assign roles first?”
“Luna’s being tried in the court of public opinion,” Thomas answered. “So basically this is mob justice.”
“Oh. Okay,” Surprise allowed, not a care in the world.
Luna giggled. “Then tell me, what terrible fate shall befall me if I lose?”
“Well, back home we’d jus’ tar ‘n’ feather ya ‘n’ run ya out of town,” Honey replied simply and sat up, looking over the pile of bodies. “But since we ain’t got no tar ‘round here, Ah’m thinkin’ we’re jus’ gonna have ta get creative.”
“Can we also find a substitute for feathers?” asked Surprise. “Cuz I’m not volunteering mine.”
“Agreed,” added Luna. Her grin grew as she listened to the renewed energy in the voices of her lovers. “Further, I believe we are all sufficiently sticky without outside aid.”
“But what if you’re innocent?” Moonlight chipped in. “Just because the system’s rigged, it doesn’t mean we can’t tease you with a ‘not guilty’ verdict that’s unlikely to ever come.”
“You’re so cute when you’re honest,” Thomas offered.
“Thanks.”
“Well, since Silver was the one who initially made the accusation,” Luna began, “I believe she is the one who must suffer the consequences. The rest of you are just mindless rabble who can’t really be held accountable for your misguided actions.”
“Ah object!” countered Honey with a raised hand. “Ah’m with Moonlight on this one. Jus’ cuz we’re a bunch o’ commoners plannin’ on teamin’ up against one o’ the two most powerful mares in the world, that don’t mean we ain’t thinkin’ straight.”
“Yeah!” Surprise chimed in. “Clearly we’re planning on combining our forces to bring down half the diarchy. So don’t go saying things like we’re ‘misguided’ or that this plan somehow shows our lack of foresight.”
Thomas blinked and whispered down at Moonlight. “You think she…?”
“I honestly can’t tell.”
“Then, if I am to understand correctly,” Luna resumed. “The lot of you are willing to offer yourselves up as collateral in the event that your mob justice fails to yield results?”
“You bet’ch’ya!”
“Absolutely.”
“Darn tootin’.”
“Most assuredly.”
“Eh. Why not?”
Luna nodded and sat up a little, but not so much as to dislodge any of her lovers from their respective resting spots. “Very well then. In that case, after hearing the evidence, I believe I shall offer the verdict.”
“Hold on,” chirped Surprise. “How come you get to deliver the verdict?”
Luna blinked. “Because I … called dibs?” she asked, hoping she was using the word correctly.
An audible pause followed.
“When?” asked Surprise.
“Just now. Dibs. See? I have called dibs, and now I have priority, because I called dibs first.”
“Well, she’s got us there,” conceded Thomas. Even he could sense a change in the atmosphere. The others were starting to grow more lively, sitting up and opening their eyes. Most of his fatigue, both physical and mental, had also dissipated. Although he was so accustomed to the smell of sexual musk to as be nearly numb to its effects, he did detect a spike in the odor as he watched tails begin to fan. And based on the way everyone’s ears were pivoting at high alert, they knew what was coming as well.
“Then for the crime of being outclassed by a mare from a background that is stereotyped as having no class,” Luna began cordially. “I, Princess Luna, find myself to be …” she paused for dramatic effect, “not guilty!”
Surprise gasped in shock.
“Well that’s hardly fair.” Honey’s words were more of a plain statement than a challenge.
“Silver,” Thomas said. “I just want you to know that, whatever horrible fate befalls us, I blame you completely.”
Silver heaved a defeated sigh and whickered. “Fair enough.” As much as she hated to, she sat up and hefted herself up out of her bosomy bedding. It had felt so wonderful to have Luna’s exquisite teat flesh surrounding her, but she knew this respite was at an end.
Feeling her inner fire rekindled, Luna sat up even further. Although she was loath to dislodge the others from their perches, she self-consoled that new positions would be found shortly. She stared down at the lot of them as they stood, stretched, and went through various wake-up stretches and exercises to shake out their stiffness. Her breathing grew heavy as her mouth began to water, tasting the collective musk that saturated the air.
“I … I am not certain where to even start,” Luna admitted as her eyes shifted from one lover to the next. With all the possibilities afforded to a being of her power, the alicorn had been stricken by the paradox of too many choices.
Moonlight cleared her throat and tapped at Thomas’ leg, which she was still holding onto.
Thomas chuckled at Moonlight’s meaning and tried to pull himself free. She offered a minor resistance, but he was eventually able to stand tall and survey the situation. “Alright then,” he exhaled. “It’s at times like this I wish I’d read the contract before signing up for this job; if for no other reason than to see how ‘coordinating an orgy’ would be written in legalese.”
“Ah’m not sure Ah’m ready fer jabber like that,” Honey admitted as she snuggled back up to Luna’s breast. “Jus’ gi’me the important stuff up front ‘n’ don’t try ta weasel in anythin’ sneaky.”
“Funny you should mention that,” said Thomas. “Because I’m pretty sure the fine print for this job is vague enough that I’m free to play your boobs or ass like bongos whenever it suits me.”
“It’s true,” Silver added evenly as she also stood. “As one of the few who actually knows how to read fine print, I can confirm that the senior concubine has implicit permission to do as he or she likes with his or her subordinates’ bodies, including using them as musical instruments.”
Honey grinned up at the two standing shorties and angled her body so that they both had an unobstructed view of her bottom, tail flagged in ripe invitation.
“Then again,” Thomas continued as he began walking around the bed. “I wonder how well Luna’s butt might play. We could tie her up and find out.”
Luna felt her cheeks darken with warmth.
“I got extra rope if we need some,” Surprise chirped excitedly, holding up several lengths of rope in both hands. “Ever since I started training with Silver, I’ve learned to be prepared for rope emergencies.”
“I’m so proud,” Silver chuckled, pretending to wipe a tear from her eye.
“But would that even work?” Thomas asked, now standing between Luna’s legs. He looked down and did his best to visualize the proposed plan. “If we tie her down, wouldn’t that mean we’d lose access to half her body? What fun is that?”
“It’ll be fun showing her what it’s like on the bottom,” Moonlight added with a mischievous grin. “She’ll be like a toy, completely helpless as we have our way with her.”
Silver licked her suddenly dry lips. “I’m … not so certain that would be …” But she trailed off as her hand found its way back between her legs. Any further thought of protest was quickly drowned by an influx of carnal urges.
Luna listened quietly as her fate was being decided. Her heartrate proceeded to spike and the sight of Silver already pleasing herself made her breathing grow heavy.
“I’ve got more than rope,” informed Surprise. She set the regular rope lengths aside and pulled out lengths of what looked like ribbon. “Silken velvet,” she purred sensually. “Strong enough to hold a pony down without hurting the bindee. I borrowed this from Tali, just in case.”
Thomas took a quick survey of the other mares in the room. All had their eyes on the silk and wore various states of excitement and intrigue on their faces, but none more so than Luna. “Well, it looks like the decision’s been made for me,” he admitted. “However, I think there’s a bit more that can be done.”
“Such as?” Silver asked.
“Luna. You think you could make a small sound bubble?”
The alicorn nodded and a sphere of light formed around her head. It faded quickly into nothing but a blur, but it would do its job. Thomas did his best to climb over Luna’s ample bosom until he could press his face into the bubble. There he found Luna’s ear and, out of reflex, whispered his plan. The others couldn’t hear what was being discussed, but they inferred from the look of excitement on Luna’s face that she was liking it. The bubble went down.
“I love the way your mind works,” Luna said breathily and pecked Thomas on the cheek.
“I am fond of that, too,” Thomas replied warmly. He adjusted himself back to standing and looked out over his audience. “Fall in, troops!” he barked, startling the others into scrambling over one another and into formation. “We’ve got us a mission!”
Minutes later …
“Alright, ladies,” Thomas barked again, imitating a drill sergeant as he addressed the line of mares. Standing straight with shoulders back, he even wore an army cap and sunglasses indoors just to complete the image. “Looks like you didn’t totally embarrass yourselves on your assignment. Color me surprised.”
Surprise chuckled, which was followed by a *CRACK* and a yelp.
“You got something to say, missy?” Thomas demanded, brandishing his riding crop like a weapon and pointing it directly at the mare’s nipple.
Surprise rubbed her sore backside. “Sir, no sir! Just excited to get on with the mission, sir!”
“Damn straight you are,” Thomas agreed and turned back to assessing their work. “And what a fine mission this is starting out to be.”
Under Silver’s guidance, the harem had worked as a single cohesive unit in their task to bind Luna. Thankfully, Surprise had brought a lot of silk, which afforded them considerable freedom to use a great variety of knots. They’d elected to lay Luna on her back, sacrificing the base of her wings as the least important erogenous zone. Since the use of a spreading rod might get in the way in this position, they also decided to use four separate velvet ropes on her legs. Two bound her ankles to the bottom of the footer bedposts while two additional ropes pulled her knees up to the top of the bed posts, pulling her ass up enough for easy access. Another velvet rope had been tied around her belly and to either side of the bed to serve as a reminder not to thrash around too much. Her elbows were tied to the middle of the header bedposts while her wrists were bound to the top. The wings were left untouched for the purpose of comfort, as well as the fact that they’d be of little use to the bound mare while her weight pressed them down against the sheets. In addition to the placement of pillows to make sure everything stayed comfy, the last touch the harem added was a blindfold to add an extra layer of suspense. Moonlight had quietly considered making one last addition to the restraints, but her lewd imagination told her that not doing so would make things more interesting.
“You fiends!” Luna cried out dramatically to her captors. “I trusted you. How dare you restrain me in this manner?”
“Oh? Was there another manner you’d prefer to be restrained?” Thomas asked evenly.
“… That’s not the point!” Luna barked back, feeling as though she’d been caught in a lie.
“Then by all means,” Thomas continued. He stepped forward, away from the line of mares. He stopped between the big mare’s thighs, close enough that he was certain he could feel the heat radiating off of her nether region. It took him only a moment to consider what his captor persona might do. With a malicious grin, he lifted his foot and pressed it down against the big mare’s sex. She was utterly drenched. Her love juices made the lewdest sounds as they squished and seeped between his toes. The way she squirmed and the sounds she made as his foot teased her quickly brought the man’s already overworked cock back to life. “Tell us what the point is.”
Luna’s body thrashed about as much as her bindings would allow. The sadistic human had found her clit and was now pinching it between his toes. “Do you expect me to talk?” she growled through gritted teeth and flushed cheeks.
“No, my dear Luna,” Thomas replied, now channeling a classic Bond villain. “I expect you … to cum.” He spun around with a flourish, having no clue about how cool that line had made him sound to the mares. His gooey foot squelched against the sheets. “Silver!”
She snapped to attention and pulled her fingers from her groin. “Sir!”
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Sir. I’m … I’m just really excited, sir.”
Thomas grabbed the mare by the wrist and yanked her hand up. He eyed her glistening fingers for a moment before darting his tongue out and having a taste. “Hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully. “I can tell.”
Silver’s breathing quickened. She was hoping, by the look on his face, that Thomas – or rather his character – might reward her dedication to the cause, or something along those lines. Her body was vibrating with excitement.
“Private Silver,” Thomas addressed gruffly. “Without your intimate and disturbing knowledge of how to tie people up, none of this would have been possible.” He motioned down to Luna. “I don’t know what’s going on in that mind of yours, but I’m pretty sure we need to do something to appease your inner beast before it breaks loose and does something terrible.”
Silver stared with flat bemusement at the man. Granted, it was her own fault for encouraging this particular character, but that did little to stop her from swearing silent revenge.
“To that end,” Thomas continued and motioned down to Luna, “I grant you first dibs on-”
A gust of wind almost blew Thomas over. His hat had been evicted from his head and his glasses had been jostled. In the time it took the man to readjust his eyewear, he’d already interpreted from the giggling of mares what had happened. He beheld the silver mare riding Luna’s face like it was a bucking bronco. Her knees were squatted a little awkwardly and she was holding onto Luna’s horn for balance.
“Eat me, you alicorn whorse!”
Luna needed no prompting to comply. Her obscenely long tongue was making obscene noises as it probed deeply into Silver’s snatch. The flexible appendage twisted and folded itself to cover as much of the sex’s surface area as possible while paying special attention to the sensitive parts. Inspired by Thomas, she also pinched Silver’s clit with her tongue, causing the mare to cry out in incoherent bliss. Luna was further rewarded with an increased production to the bat mare’s strawberry flavored love juices, which she eagerly guzzled. (1)
The sounds that Luna was making said that she didn’t mind one bit.
“Alright then,” Thomas allowed matter-of-factly and turned back to his remaining assembled troops. “Now I bet some of you are wondering whether or not I’m going to discipline this upstart recruit for her rude behavior.” The looks on the mares’ faces suggested otherwise. “To that, I’ll answer that I, in fact, know better than to stick my hand between a hungry dog and her meal.” That earned some giggles from his audience.
“What about yer dick?”
Thomas turned bodily to face the earth mare, raising his knees through dramatic motions he’d seen in depictions of the military on TV. “It’s doing quite alright. Thank you for asking.” His penis bobbed, seeming to nod in agreement.
Honey beamed. “Mah pleasure, but Ah actually meant the taste?”
Thomas kept a stiff upper lip as he regarded the mare, looked down at his erection, and snapped up to face her once more. “You tell me.”
Honey didn’t need to be told twice before lunging forward. Now on her knees, the mare pressed her snoot firmly into the man’s groin as his cock slipped between her lips. She hummed in delight as she savored her treat, running her tongue up and down the man’s length in diligent fervor.
Thomas gasped from the suddenness of the action. He then shuddered, trying to keep his composure as his cock was expertly manipulated by the mare’s oral appendage in her hot, moist mouth. “T-troops,” he stammered. Although Honey’s tongue lacked the supernatural flexibility of Luna’s, it was currently demonstrating enough skill to encircle his rod and jerk it off almost as good as any hand. “N-not to speak ill of Private Honey’s enthusiasm, I’m afraid she’s m-missed the point a little.”
“The point didn’t miss her, though,” Moonlight corrected with a faint twinge of envy.
“Hehe. Good one.” Surprise and Moonlight exchanged low fives.
“B-b-be that as it may,” Thomas struggled to continue. He wanted to place his hands on the green mare’s blonde head, to coax her into increasing her pace, but reasoned that would go against his character’s gruff, indifferent facade. “We’ve got a job to do, l-ladies. Now then.” Thomas turned and allowed himself to hold one hand on the back of Honey’s head to keep her in place. She did her best to waddle on her knees and move with him. “Right now we’ve got ourselves a big ass mare with a great big ass that isn’t being attended to. What’s wrong with this picture?”
“Oh. Me. Me-me-me-me-me! Pick me!” Surprise exclaimed while jumping on the bed and flapping her wings.
“Private Moonlight!”
Surprise wilted.
“Sir! Luna’s butt looks so lonely without anypony playing with it,” she admitted with honesty dripping in perversion. “It’s like a big, cuddly puppy that’s just begging for hugs and kisses, sir!”
Surprise hissed. “Shoot. That’s so much better,” Surprise hissed quietly.
“I think I can see your point,” Thomas allowed, turning to face the indigo mare and her silvery face-hugger once more. “Hmm. Perhaps what we need is a little competition to get the ball rolling. I want the two of you… to wait for me to say something!” he snapped as the two mares started to walk past. They fell back in line, ears splayed with guilty smiles on their faces. “Honestly, no discipline in this generation,” he grumbled.
“I thought we were older than him,” Surprise whispered to Moonlight.
“I never got around to asking that,” Moonlight whispered back. “I don’t even remember how old you are.”
“Really? Well, I’m-”
*CRACK*
The cracking of the crop into Thomas’ hand had snapped both mares back to attention.
“Now then,” Thomas growled. “Are there any other smart ass remarks you wish to share?”
Surprise opened her mouth to reply.
“Keep in mind,” he warned, “that the longer we stay here, wasting time, the longer it’ll be before you two can actually do what you’re paid for.”
Surprise snapped her jaw shut.
“Good!” Thomas leveled his crop holding arm dramatically down between Luna’s parted legs. “Then get to it!”
Pegasus and unicorn hurried to their human appointed task, crouching down to all fours and pressing their faces between the bigger mare’s spread thighs. Moonlight managed to dive in first and claimed Luna’s clit for herself. The bigger mare’s moaning became all the louder as her body attempted to arch against her silken bindings. Moonlight took these as signs of encouragement as her tongue darted out, gave the pink nub a friendly flick in greeting, and sank down into Luna’s winking passage. After all this time, she knew her boss’s sensitive spots well enough to navigate them even with a blindfold.
“Not bad,” appraised Surprise as she took in Luna’s jerking motions. “But I think I can top that.” Rather than pushing Moonlight aside, the pegasus instead dipped her head even lower. She leaned forward, feeling the supple plushness of Luna’s ass cheeks against her face cheeks. It was delightful, but far from enough to satisfy the perverted pony. She pressed deeper until her nose was right up against Luna’s quivering pucker. Surprise grinned, hoping Luna could feel her facial expressions as certainly as she felt Luna’s tightening insides upon contact. She sucked a powerful gust of air through her nose.
“You smell great,” Surprise said into Luna’s ass. She giggled at the big mare feeling her words rather than hearing them. Adjusting herself to see in the diminished light, Surprise beheld her prize. “Your little hole is so cute,” she chirped. “The way it’s quivering, it’s like its winking, begging to be filled. Should I do that?” she purred sensually. “Do you want me to fill your aching, empty plot?”
Luna’s mouth was otherwise occupied, but she managed an even deeper moan that sent tremors through Silver’s pleasure tunnel. She also gave her butt cheeks a slight clench to send the message.
“Yippee!” Surprise cheered before stabbing her tongue out. She started by licking at Luna’s taint, getting it nice and shiny with saliva before migrating down to her tail hole. The orifice was indeed winking like a needy marehood, but that didn’t stop Surprise from a little playful teasing. She encircled her tongue around the anal opening, studying the texture of the hole’s lewd wrinkles. It was only when she felt the anus relax a bit that her tongue shot in, swirling it around the alicorn’s anal walls.
Luna was really starting to feel it now. Her olfactory and oral senses were drowning in Silver’s pungent nectar. Already the little bat mare had orgasmed, but that only spurred the alicorn to eat her out all the more enthusiastically. She used her tongue like a super spoon, scooping out every ounce of her beloved’s liquid love. The seemingly endless tide was quickly wiped away, leaving the tunnel clean and free for the next batch. That said, the tending to her horn was not the most careful, especially by Silver’s usually meticulous standards, but it was sufficient in adding to her stimulation.
Further south, Luna’s self-control was tested even further by the intrusion of two tongues into her most sensitive holes. Despite the lack of words being exchanged, it was like the mares at her gates were somehow coordinating their efforts, alternating between exploratory swirls and fierce jolts that increasingly probed her depths. It might have just been coincidence, but Luna chose to think of it as the magic of Harmony interpreting their lewd noises as the divine music that Luna knew it to be, and so guided their actions to the greatest effect.
It was then that Luna remembered that, in all of their planning earlier, they’d completely overlooked her horn. There wasn’t even any agreement to pretend she had a horn ring. Thusly, like any good politician, she exploited the loophole with a vengeance. She started by projecting her magic out, expanding her senses and granting her multiple viewpoints of surrounding events. First and foremost she saw the mares tending to her. They were all so eager, so devoted as to barely even touch themselves while they worked, that she felt compelled to reward them.
With her magic, Luna manifested a pair of semi-solid tongues. The first plunged into Silver’s welcoming anus, encountering little resistance as it entered deeper, and splitting so as to apply stimulation from multiple angles. Silver screamed her newfound ecstasy, cumming, but her blissful cries were summarily silenced by the second tongue stabbing into her maw and playing with her own oral appendage. The scream quickly morphed into a pleasured moan.
Silver’s eyes closed as she lost herself to the kiss with Luna’s aura. The magical lips that accompanied the second tongue were an exact replica of Luna’s, driving Silver’s compulsion to kiss more deeply. The two appendages intertwined like lovers, rolling passionately between one another’s mouths. At the same time, the pair of tongues tending her plot hole and marehood were exploring her with a more meticulous passion, reaching and tasting everything before them. It was only by compulsion of instinct that Silver maintained her grip around Luna’s horn. Before she’d even realized it was happening, a pair of mouths took shape and latched onto both nipples, suckling and teasing her with their semi-translucent tongues. Being accosted from so many angles had overrode her higher thought processes. She knew only the bliss of sexual ecstasy, and came again.
For Surprise, Luna’s aura first manifested as several sets of hands that began massaging the pegasus’ wings like a team of masseuses. The white mare’s grateful moans into the alicorn’s ass were met with a pleased grin into Silver’s marehood. Luna, wanting to be a little creative, next used her aura to manifest one hand and one phallus modeled after the one the alicorn usually gave to herself. The hand pressed against the white mare’s snatch, pinching the clit between the thumb and forefinger. The remaining fingers explored her wet insides, bending and stretching in ways that would otherwise be impossible as she searched for the spots that would result in the best reactions. The phallus, meanwhile, teased at the pegasus’ anus, just as had been done to her, before sinking inside.
Surprise’s tongue work suffered a momentary lapse as she purred her delight. The many hands tending her wings had all zeroed in on just the right spots that turned her outstretched wings into putty. Another pair of hands grabbed hold of the mare’s ample breasts. At first they began squeezing and kneading with wild abandon, but quickly fell into a rhythm. Once the initial shock had worn off, Luna’s magic hands began roughly kneading at the base of Surprise’s breasts before moving up to the nipples. Had Surprise been nursing, such stimulation would have emptied her mammaries in no time. It was hard to bring her mind back to focus, especially as the magical penis began stretching her anus out. It felt so wonderful to be filled. After a few, agonizingly blissful seconds, the medial ring brushed across her puckered entrance and sent an especially intense jolt of pleasure through the mare’s nerves. Feeling so full could only be described as blissful, which her body felt obligated to respond to by pushing her butt back. The hand at her marehood was also a nice touch, touching her with dexterous deliberation that couldn’t be matched by a tongue or dick; at least not the regular kind. It took a second, but she was eventually able to recover enough composure to resume eating out her lover’s plot.
For Moonlight, Luna’s aura first formed a pair of lips and a tongue. The construct sank down around the unicorn’s horn, suckling at the base while applying tender licks along the shaft and swirls around the tip. It was the kind of expert attention that could only be delivered by a fellow horn bearer, or somepony with a lot of experience at pleasing their unicorn lover. Further south, Luna constructed two phalluses. Unlike the phallus for Surprise, the ones now probing Moonlight’s orifices were differently shaped and significantly smaller. They were modeled after Thomas’ little sword in shape, although about an inch longer. Moonlight’s experienced holes relaxed and welcomed their familiar guests, only to briefly clench down in playful possessiveness as soon as both phalluses had reached the base. She relaxed after that and allowed her alicorn lover to begin her thrusting.
Moonlight fared no better in reacting to the application of magic. The mouth was an exact copy of Luna’s right down to the wonderfully impossible feats of the tongue. The unicorn came right then and there, leaking juices down onto the pegasus below, but no reprieve was granted. Being double penetrated by near exact replicas of Thomas’ manhood was heavenly. As hands gripped affectionately around her bosom, Moonlight’s loosely coherent mind was only barely able to distinguish that these hands were small, smaller than Luna’s, but not smaller than Thomas’, which only added to her bliss. The fingers squeezed affectionately, digging into her breast flesh. It hurt a little, but only enough to trick her instincts into feeling the rush of a stallion in the throws of passion, no longer caring to be gentle and ready to fill her womb at any moment. Her already overclocked pleasure center was sent utterly reeling. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to imagine two of her beloved stallions penetrating her from behind; or maybe it was just one with two penises. It was hard to decide which image was more arousing. Either way, her tail could not have flagged any higher as she joyfully accepted what was being offered.
The sensations from the magical constructs were being processed by Luna’s brain as though she had extra body parts. While her main lips devoured Silver’s nectar, the magical sets of lips, feeling no less real, tended to Moonlight’s horn, Silver’s lips, and Surprise’s nipples. The pinching of Surprise’s clit manifested as a phantom sensation in her real fingers, along with the graceful softness of her feathery wings. She’d almost lost track of all of her hands, but the feel of each mare’s body beneath her many arkanely crafted palms was an utter delight. Lastly, it was as though she’d grown a cock again, only several times over, each penetrating and being stimulated by multiple mares at once. It was all more than any regular pony could handle, but no pony had ever accused Luna of being ‘regular.’
Still, in the minute or so that it took for the alicorn to create her constructs and process the resultant sensations, her aura finally became aware of the two concubines that weren’t participating. Thomas had turned his body so that Honey – who was still sucking him off – could watch the show with him. Luna chuckled in her throat at the awed expressions on her lover’s faces.
“Have the actors become so transfixed with watching the show that they’ve forgotten they are part of the act?” Luna’s voice had a faint, eerie echo, startling her negligent lovers out of their stupor.
Returning to reality, Honey slid her lips from Thomas’ glistening erection. He hadn’t cum, as she’d only been working to keep him hard, understanding that his climax belonged to somepony else. She looked expectantly up at him.
Thomas was briefly overcome with guilt for his absentmindedness. It was utterly shameful for the Senior Concubine to get distracted at a time like this. However, Thomas’ descent into self-loathing was cut short by the lewd and pleasured sounds from the orgy, as well as Honey’s expression. He had people counting on him, and that was enough to keep his mind from delving into a far worse distraction.
The human took the initiative, nodding for Honey to follow as he took purposeful strides around to Luna’s right. This was something of a lie, as he didn’t actually know what he planned to do. The hope was that something would come to him in the moment. Remembering his drill sergeant persona, he also recalled the old saying that no plan ever survived first contact with the enemy. This adage was interpreted as ‘just wing it and hope for the best.’ Easier said than done, as Thomas was left to stew in his indecision for several, agonizing seconds.
Fortuitously, seeing Honey come around the other side and stand across from him. Thomas beamed, imagining a light bulb turning on over his head. With another nod for Honey to follow, he fell to his knees and let his arms fall around Luna’s gargantuan breast. Had these things gotten bigger? Experimentally, Thomas wrapped his arms around the base, but found he was unable to touch his fingers together. No matter. Hugging the mound of bosomy flesh to his chest, Thomas leaned forward and took the mare’s nipple in his mouth.
Honey, having guessed where Thomas was going with this, latched onto Luna’s other nipple at the same time.
Thomas breathed through his nose as he suckled tenderly at the pillow-sized mammary. He hugged and squeezed, studying the texture of the soft hairs that covered the expanse. The fur was so fine that it practically felt like smooth skin. Thomas felt a shudder shimmy up his spine from just the contact of his hands.
You’d think I’d get bored of touching boobs by this point, Thomas remarked to himself as he smiled around the nipple. Then again, maybe these are just magical titties?
He gave the breast a firmer squeeze, almost like a bear hug, seeking a certain reaction. It came when milk squirted out into his mouth. Thomas quickly relaxed his grip, not wanting to waste any of the magically, refreshingly cool substance before he could drink it. He made sure to make as much sound as possible as he drank, knowing how much Luna liked that. He also resumed massaging the great tit, coaxing milk out at a more manageable pace.
Honey did the same, only she was able to fully wrap her arms around Luna’s breast. Being the more experienced milker, she quickly fell into a rhythm of gentle squeezing. Unlike Thomas’ plain drink, Honey was treated to a slight strawberry flavoring to her magical beverage. Grateful, the experienced farm mare reasoned that she only needed one arm for milking. Using her superior size to her advantage, she reached her other hand down along Luna’s side, teasing the alicorn with her fingers as she reached the cutie mark. She grinned in mischievous delight at the way Luna’s body hitched before she began to play. Feeling extra frisky, she elected to use Luna’s cutie mark as a canvas as she traced out the words ‘You sexy beast.’
In kind, Luna rewarded her lagging lovers with the same magical treatment as the others. For Thomas she manifested a vaginal opening, which was modeled after both her own and Moonlight’s marehoods while being shrunk down for added delight. It was regretful for the mare that Thomas was so opposed to anal stimulation beyond a light licking, but she abided by his preference. Instead, she contented herself to pumping and twisting the vaginal construct around the human’s shaft, feeling its heat within her own love hole.
Honey’s body offered far more avenues for creative love making. Magical tongues applied affectionate licks to her hooves, which was a common pleasure point for earth ponies. The sounds that Honey made told Luna that her hunch had been accurate. A pair of magical hands gripped around the green mare’s plump backside, kneading the cheeks as she spread them apart while another pair did the same for her breasts, only much firmer than the others. The phallus that entered the mare’s plot hole was roughly the size of Plow’s, or at least Luna’s estimation of the stallion who had been above average in just about every way that counted. Honey’s back door opened welcomingly to its guest as she moaned her appreciation. Then, just as the makeshift stallionhood had sunk down all the way to its makeshift balls, a set of lips and tongue, modeled after Jona’s, latched onto the big mare’s winking foal hole.
Then, just because she was feeling generous, Luna manifested yet another pair of hands for each concubine. For the mares, the hands gave each cutie mark an excited squeeze before beginning their sensual massage. For the man, Luna decided to mirror Thomas’ actions, feeling up his ass for no other reason than to feel it. It was a delightful blend of muscle and fat that caused the alicorn’s magical palms to tingle.
Grunting in delight, Thomas began involuntarily humping his hips into the disembodied love tunnel. It gave a possessive clench before relaxing, spreading apart as he sank deeper inside. It was a somewhat novel experience to get a pussy that was actually sized for him, which was why Thomas was so determined to make the most of the experience. He pulled back as the construct anticipated his movements, and then pushed forward, deeper than before. The action was repeated as the construct was gradually spread open wider and wider, realistically adjusting to his relative girth. Then the construct started making odd motions, pulling away a bit farther than he’d expected. He tried matching his movements to this new rhythm, finding it much more gradual. The human grinned, figuring Luna intended for them all to have one last hurrah together. He slowed down, liking the idea.
Luna had cheated out of her restraints, which might as well have been window dressing for all the good they were doing. Her magic was ensuring that each of her lovers was getting a full dose of sexual stimulation while they, in turn, lavished her with their adoring affections. Her physical eyes were still concealed behind the blindfold. Otherwise they’d have been consumed by the vision of Silver’s bouncing breasts as she rode the alicorn’s face like she’d ridden that mechanical bull. With her aura, however, Luna was able to see all of her lovers from every conceivable vantage point, studying the way their bodies jiggled, swayed, and quivered in the best possible ways. At the same time, her constructs were touching the wonderful mares and man who had so lovingly chosen to devote themselves to her, granting her hands, mouth, marehood, breasts, and even her stallionhood full tactile bliss.
The alicorn’s aura wrapped around their forms, feeling them even if they couldn’t feel her. Luna wanted them, wanted to see, feel, and be as close to them as equinely possible. Her various constructs all went into overtime. The intensity was measured against the tension in each concubine’s body, wanting to make sure that when they came, they came big and all at once. The seeming chaos of the many shapes was actually being carefully controlled by Luna’s alicorn mind, the same controller that carefully guided the immensity of the moon across the sky in a predictable arc. Although, normally moving the moon didn’t cloud her mind with so much lust, so she’d thrown in a few assistance spells to ease the pressure on her brain.
It was all coming to a head, and they could all feel it. Marehoods were starting to wink even faster as the mares felt tightness in their abdomens, an omen of the imminent. Thomas felt his balls tighten, but fought with all his might to hold out until the end. Even the tips of Luna’s phallus constructs were beginning to flare in preparation for what was to come.
And then it came.
Over the next couple of seconds, Silver went first. Even after all of the orgasms she’d experienced in just the last few minutes, this one put all of them to shame as she began gushing. Luna had managed to seal her lips around the smaller mare’s slit in time, catching every drop in her mouth as the bat pony’s back arched and the smaller mare’s tongue hung slackly from her lips.
Honey went next. Despite being late to the game, the mare clenched down like a vice around the phallus and tongue inside her, holding them in place as the former filled her bowels in liquid magic. She only barely managed to stop herself from biting down on Luna’s nipple, pulling her mouth off with a pop as lactation residue dripped down the side of the breast.
Thomas’ body squeezed around Luna’s other breast with what remained of his strength. He didn’t even have the energy to properly bite as he bucked his hips forward one last time, spraying his miniscule load into the magical onahole. He didn’t even stop to think how Luna was not only feeling him through her magic, but now tasted him as well.
That was the last straw for Luna. Even an alicorn could only take so much sensual stimulation before it all became too much. She came, spraying her juices all over the unicorn and pegasus’ faces. Although she was cognizant enough to know that the pair wouldn’t mind, she couldn’t stop the other magical dicks under her control from going off all at once.
Moonlight’s entire body tensed as she felt liquid lust spill into all three holes. Seeing how it was there in prime grabbing distance, her body instinctively wrapped around Surprise’s, holding her desperately close as her horn sparked and her orgasm wiped away all higher thinking.
Likewise, Surprise bucked her hips back against Moonlight’s pelvis. Her instincts had interpreted the unicorn as the stallion presently breeding her, resulting in her ass being forced back as hard as she could manage into the climaxing stallionhood in her rump. It’s already girthy fullness spread further through her bowels, causing her middle to inflate just a little.
As the mares and man all came down from their orgasmic highs, Silver fell from her perch. Luna caught her in her magic while effortlessly pulling free of the bindings. She felt a twinge of regret for destroying the surprisingly comfortable velvet lengths, and so vowed to make it up to Surprise and Talon later. For now, arms and legs finally free, she removed her blindfold while maintaining her attention on where it had been from the start; on those she cared for. Silver was nestled gently back between her pillowy bosoms, where upon the little bat immediately began to snore, startling a giggle out of Luna. From there, she scooped Thomas and Honey up in her arms, using just a bit of magic to pull them up into more comfortable positions. Surprise – also snoring – had to be extracted from beneath the remarkably clingy Moonlight. Levitating the two up and apart, she also levitated a few extra pillows to the sides, laying the unicorn on her right and pegasus on her left. Both immediately cozied up to the nearest warm body in reach.
Several yawns were given, one of which was from Luna. She’d expended far more energy and mental focus than she’d originally intended, but there were no regrets. Thinking back on all they’d done together, she wouldn’t have changed a thing. Her lust had been quenched and her craving for companionship had been satisfied. She looked from side to side, taking in the tired faces of her harem, both old and new. As her aura retracted, it took in the forms of her beloveds’ with more adoration than carnal hunger. The looks of their faces as they slept beside her was contagiously peaceful. Her heart swelled, her wing and armpits stank, she was warm almost to the point of discomfort, and the bedsheets were probably beyond salvaging. All in all, she couldn’t have asked for more.
“Welcome to the family,” Luna muttered as she felt herself drift off to sleep.
Thomas awoke in a sticky, smelly, and almost unbearably hot mess. On the plus side, the stink was more of a musky stank, and the softness of the various feminine bodies pressed against his was certainly welcome. Then again, the fur had been terribly matted from the previous day’s exertion. In a flash, the haze of sleep had been banished and Thomas remembered what had taken place yesterday.
The human blinked his eyes open, taking in the shapes in the dark. First and foremost, his eyes made out the veritable mountain of breast flesh directly in front of him. No matter how many times he witnessed Luna’s gargantuan bosom heaving before him, it still startled an amused chuckle out of the young man. Squirming a little, he was also able to make out a mare against his knees. Based on the body shape, the texture of the muscles, and feeling of the fur, he guessed it was Moonlight.
Thomas again chuckled, this time with a smidgen of pride at his ability to make such a deduction. Being able to tell one body apart from the other just by touch was the sort of thing he’d only ever read about in cheezey fanfictions. Never would he have imagined actually being able to do so, himself. The corners of his mouth climbed up in satisfaction of his accomplishment.
Putting that aside, he resumed the inspection of his surroundings and determined his head was on Luna’s arm, somewhere very near her armpit. Whether or not the stink of sweaty armpit had been added to the gumbo of aromas was impossible to say. Honestly, his nose was probably as exhausted as the rest of him had been, thereby momentarily sparing him from such a rancid stank.
“Art thou awake?”
Luna’s voice was barely above that of a whisper. Thomas even wondered if it was her real voice at all and not that magic voice thing in his head that she did yesterday.
“Nope.”
“A pity, because we very much need to visit the little filly’s room, but we do not wish to disturb-”
Thomas scoffed. “You might as well do it,” he chuckled. “If I’m waking up first, then we’re probably already sleeping in.”
“Not quite, sugar,” added Honey with a yawn. “By mah reckoning, we still got a good few minutes before,” she yawned again, “mornin’ victuals.”
“I could use some victuals,” chirped Surprise. “Over easy with a side of hay bacon.”
“Just the bacon for me, thanks,” Moonlight groggily added, shifting around against Thomas and Luna. “I had too much liquid yesterday. Now I need something solid to settle my stomach.”
“I vote we stay exactly where we are,” asserted Silver, sounding the most awake of all the concubines. “I have staked a claim on this land and refuse to surrender it.”
“What land is that?” Surprise asked, blinking wearily as she searched for the unseen tiny mare.
“Take a guess,” giggled Luna.
The bed creaked as the mares and man began moving around, carefully untangling themselves from one another. This was easier for some than others, on account of some patches of fur sticking together like Velcro.
“Safe bet’s Luna’s teats,” Honey said, groaning as she stretched in place. She could have easily sat up and looked for herself, but that felt too much like cheating. “But, knowin’ her, it could probably be anywhere on the body.”
“Well I think we can rule out between the legs,” Moonlight suggested. Still half asleep, or at least pretending as much, she wrapped an arm around Thomas’ legs and pulled them snugly against her face.
“How do you figure that?” Thomas asked, amused by her actions and the situation as a whole.
“Because she’d be sleeping face-down if that were the case. No way we’d hear her that way.” No further elaboration was needed as her audience all giggled at the mental image.
Even Silver laughed. “That’s not untrue,” she replied in good humor. “But yes. The safe bet wins.”
“Wins what?” asked Honey.
With the game concluded and no longer fearing disturbing her lovers’ rest, Luna’s focus returned to more important matters. She quickly sat up and slipped Silver from her bosom with a soft protest. From there the little bat was gently deposited in Honey’s arms. “Thou wins being her secondary claim,” informed the alicorn in a hurry. “As for me …” She never finished her sentence, teleporting from sight. The door to the bathroom closed afterwards.
“Not a bad prize,” cooed Silver as she nuzzled lovingly into Honey’s breasts.
Honey gave a slight giggle. “Ah’d ask how that’s a win fer me, but this feels pretty nice.” She placed a hand around the smaller mare’s back to pull her in close. She was still sensitive from yesterday’s orgy, meaning Silver’s every squirm was almost akin to a sensual massage of her teats.
“How the hell are you people still horny after yesterday?” Thomas asked incredulously. His eyes had adjusted enough to see in the dark, showing him certain other activities the mares were getting up to. “Luna’s got the excuse of a magical libido, but what about the rest of you?” Guessing that their eyes had adjusted like his, he gestured down at Moonlight, who was rubbing his leg between her bosoms.
“You’re one to talk,” Moonlight teased. She reached up, pressing a finger down on the tip of his morning wood. She then released it, watching it bounce.
“Actually, morning wood isn’t arousal,” offered Surprise. “It’s the male body’s way of not peeing themselves when they sleep. Can’t pee when the peepee’s all stiff like that.”
“Is that true?” Thomas asked. He’d never heard such a thing before, nor had he ever really thought about why morning wood was a thing in the first place. It certainly sounded like it made sense, though.
“Pretty sure it is. A friend told me about it once.”
“Plausible,” Moonlight replied analytically before giving the erection a flick. “But I don’t care. It’s too fun not to play with.”
“Again, that just proves my point,” Thomas insisted, fighting against his own smile as Moonlight continued to amuse herself with his anatomy. “How is everyone still so horny?”
“Fer one thing, it ain’t Moonlight’s fault. She was jus’ born that way,” Honey teased.
“And proud of it!” she declared, flipping her head back to accentuate her horn.
“Fer another … Ah really don’t know.” Honey sat up, making sure to hold the still snuggling Silver in place. “Ah wouldn’t exactly say Ah’m horny. Jus’ feels good is all.” She slid a hand down Silver’s back and cupped her palm against the mare’s backside, humming her satisfaction.
“I think I feel the same,” Silver cooed and wiggled against Honey. “I wouldn’t say no to sex, but my body isn’t craving it, either. If anything, I’m just craving a bit of cuddling.”
“Never say no to a cuddle,” Surprise declared seriously.
Thomas eyes met Moonlight’s. As she continued playing with his little head, he tried to nonverbally communicate ‘so what’s your excuse?’
The unicorn laughed, tightening her grip around the leg between her breasts while her other hand fully wrapped around his erection. “We all cuddle in our own ways.”
Without Luna to support him, Thomas let his head fall back against the mattress. He didn’t have the strength to argue, and probably wouldn’t even if he did. That was just – as near as he understood – part of being in a herd, a relationship. In exchange for him being able to fondle and grope these mares whenever he liked, they had equal freedom to play with his body to their heart’s content. All in all, not a bad trade.
***
Following their morning bathroom rituals and the raising of the moon, Luna suggested that they take their breakfast in the bathing pool. Each of them received trays that had been enchanted to float along the water’s surface and not easily flip over. Washing up from yesterday’s leavings while eating sounded like too convenient a luxury to pass up. Besides, the water could be drained if anything was spilt.
Each of them sat on seats at the pool’s edge, sized perfectly for everyone to sit comfortably. Instead of a simple wall at their backs, the man and each mare were leaning up against a cluster of water jets that pelted their bodies in just the right ways, helping to ease the tension in their muscles. The trays not only stayed upright, even amidst disturbances in the water, but also managed to stay in ideal reach of their respective patrons. Perhaps most impressively, Luna’s tray refused to sink even in spite of the tower of food weighing it down.
“This might be the best wake-up I’ve ever had,” Moonlight sighed with a hand on her stomach. “A feeling of fullness following the best kind of workout,” her hand snaked its way down between her legs, “and top it off with a massage and a different kind of fullness.” With her magic she cut off a piece of waffle and daintily swallowed it.
“No argument here!” Honey was leaning back, propping her elbows up on the pool’s edge while swirling a glass of juice in one hand in imitation of high society. “Ah’m startin’ ta see where that stereotype fer snooty unicorns comes from.”
“We can’t all do this,” Moonlight gently corrected, “but you make a good point.”
And then some bubbles floated up beside Surprise.
“Gross,” Silver said flatly.
“What? It’s perfectly natural.”
“It’s also rude to do while bathing.”
“I heard you do it just before we got in.”
“Exactly. Before! At least one of us has to maintain a degree of etiquette.”
And then bubbles floated up in front of Luna. Many retching and gagging noises followed, with some even attempting to strangle themselves to hold back the smell. All of this was complimented by Luna’s mirthful laughter at everyone else’s expense. Miraculously, the food trays remained afloat.
Silver was the first to break the silence after the unprompted chemical warfare strike. “I think I have to disagree on this being the best possible way to wake up in the morning.”
“Oh?” Moonlight asked. “That’s a pretty tall order to beat.”
Silver grinned, confident that she could meet this challenge. “How about everything you just said, but with a special chair shaped like Luna, soft and warm, and capable of performing the massages and everything.”
Moonlight didn’t answer right away. “… shoot. That’s a good one.”
“I think I should commission one of those,” Luna thought aloud. “Perhaps one proportioned to my size, and another to sell on the open market as a luxury item.”
“As much as I’d love to own one of those,” Silver began, “I’m not sure how I feel about turning your body into a commodity like that. It seems a little disrespectful.”
“Compared ta all them body pillows ya’ll own?” Honey asked.
“That’s different! Those are tasteful, artistic renditions,” Silver defended haughtily.” They’re collector’s items.”
“Shot in the dark, but Ah’m guessin’ ya already ruined the collector’s value.” Honey’s words were met with snickers.
“Why, whatever makes you say that?” Luna asked dramatically. “What do you think Silver – my most worshipful lover – could have done to these tasteful renditions that might ruin their value for other collectors?”
With a groan, a blushing Silver slunk down in her seat until even her snoot was submerged. She blew bubbles of discontentment.
“That’s a good question,” Moonlight piped up, wanting to get in on the teasing. “What could Silver have done to body pillows that would make them less valuable to other collectors?”
“That depends,” Thomas chipped in. “Were these pillows bought before or after her coming to the harem.”
“Hah. Coming,” Surprise mused.
“What difference would that make?” Moonlight asked.
Thomas chuckled. “Those pillows are double sided, so they show the backs, too.”
“And?”
Thomas shook his head, uncertain if Moonlight was just playing along for the sake of the joke or genuinely ignorant. “If after, then I could see Silver trying to practice a bit of domination on a Luna that would actually fit over her knee.” He slapped his hand over the water’s surface for emphasis.
Silver whined like a feral cat.
“Huh.” Honey scratched at her chin in thought. “Now that ya say it, Ah can see her doin’ that, too.”
“I can imagine it, but now I want to see it for realsies,” Surprise added giddily.
All heads made slow, deliberate turns to fully face Silver. Her efforts to shrink into oblivion or spontaneously turn invisible were having no effect. They just kept staring and staring, their eyes penetrating her very soul until she poked her snoot up.
“Do I really have to?”
Moonlight beamed. “Only if you can say you wouldn’t do the same thing as us if our roles were reversed.”
Silver released a heavy sigh. “Oh fine!”
Breakfast continued much more calmly after that. The mares and man ate at a leisurely pace. They didn’t really have any obligations that warranted hurrying, nor did they feel the need to discuss their plans for the night just yet. It was, as Thomas interpreted it, what was referred to as a comfortable silence: saying nothing while also not really doing anything.
Thomas, however, was never the sort who could comfortably do nothing for long. Since it felt rude to speak unnecessarily, and using his hands to eat didn’t require much attention, he ended up passing the time with thinking. He tried looking at the mares, but without making it too obvious that he was looking at them. It wasn’t like they’d get embarrassed for being seen naked. That sort of thing didn’t happen here, and especially not after having come down from such a recent orgy. Naked was natural and no one had any qualms with it. Even staring intently at a stranger probably wouldn’t get a negative reaction. Ponies didn’t seem to be even remotely as hung up on that sort of thing as humans. Apparently, one of the side effects of living in a culture that revolved around friendship and harmony was the general ability to shrug off the small stuff, or just take it as a compliment.
As for these particular mares, seeing them lined up as they were, Thomas could not help but compare their bodies. None could be said to be objectively better than the others. Each had their strengths and varying appeals that matched all sorts of body preferences. Silver was small and lean with the fewest curves, but still had an elegant charm about her. Moonlight was taller, with a good amount of muscle that made her resemble an athlete. Honey’s muscle was far more prominent, as were her curves, almost making her the most amazonian of the amazons present. Surprise was tall, but she easily had the fullest figure and the curviest curves that always seemed to jiggle in just the right ways to please the eyes. Luna was worshipped as a goddess. That was both an objective truth outside the bath, and perfectly fitting a mare of such beauty. Okay, so maybe there was one body type that had both muscles and softness in perfect balance, or maybe Thomas was just biased, but that wasn’t everything.
These mares were more than just sexy bodies. Moonlight acted like Moonlight. It would be weird if she started talking with a country accent, or went out of her way to act poised and dignified, or suddenly became all chipper and bubbly. Thomas presumed the same went for himself. Of course, being himself, he wasn’t too sure if or how his own personality was significantly different from the others. Was he being silly and just overthinking things? That was always a possibility. This might just be a case where you get so used to a smell that you go nose blind to it. Maybe he spent so much time with himself that he’d grown numb or dismissive of his own distinctive qualities?
I’m certain there was a speech in the Fruits Basket anime that talked about this.
Unfortunately, Thomas couldn’t simply ask Luna to cast the memory enhancement spell on him just so he could recall something so insignificant. For one thing, it would be unbearably rude to break this comfortable silence that everyone seemed to be enjoying. For another thing, it seemed too petty and borderline petulant to make such a demand of Luna. Granted, treating her as a pony and not just a Princess was precisely what he was here to do, but this particular task still seemed to be crossing a line in treating her like an object of convenience. Lastly, there was the health issue. Although it had been a while since the spell had been cast to improve his storytelling, it still seemed like a good precaution to do without whenever possible. These were but a few reasons Thomas was able to rationalize his continued silence.
Recognizing the impending negativity, Thomas’ thoughts veered back to thinking about the mares’ personalities. Specifically, he wondered just how much he actually knew them. They’d hung out a lot and only just woke up after an orgy, but did that mean they really knew each other? Were there still walls between them? He was still hiding the fact that he was from another world, after all. Should probably put that on the to-do list, he reasoned. Come to think of it, maybe I should come up with a few more things to fill up the list.
“You look like you’re in deep thought.”
Thomas was startled out of his navel gazing, only to calm when he saw it was just Moonlight. He laughed. “You could say that.”
“Anything you’d like to share?”
Thomas chuckled again, only more nervously this time. With no one else saying anything, all attention had fallen onto him by default. He’d have preferred to talk this idea over with Luna or Moonlight alone, but it couldn’t be helped. “I was just wondering how well we actually know each other.”
“How so?”
“Well, we spend about every waking hour together, and I certainly consider you guys my closest friends, but I’m wondering if that’s enough.” Fearful of coming off as rude, Thomas took a second to sort his thoughts. “When I took business classes in school, one of the things brought up was synergy. That’s what you call it when the whole is more than just the sum of its parts. In business, that means everyone working together to achieve something more. However, unlike a machine, which only needs you to put Cog A into Slot B to work, people are more complicated.”
Thomas paused to check the expressions of the others. He hated to think he was boring them with pointless rambling. However, if they were bored, they were certainly doing a good job of hiding it. “Where I’m from, I heard a lot about companies setting up games and trust exercises to help build team cohesion and improve their synergy. I was just thinking that, maybe, we should try some stuff like that, to help us get to know each other better.” And with his freshly formed idea put out for all to witness, he held his breath and quietly awaited judgement.
Luna was the first to reply. “Sounds promising.” She sounded optimistic. “What did you have in mind?”
Doing a double take, Thomas checked the mares’ expressions once more, searching for any hints of hesitation or disapproval. He found none. Whether they were just hiding it to be polite, his own ability to read faces was still lacking, or they were genuinely curious about his proposal was impossible to tell. Regardless, he decided to assume the latter and just roll with it. “Well, the exercises we did back in the beginning were all about us getting physically comfortable with one another. Those dates we went on were about affirming that we’d succeeded on that front. However, to improve on mutual trust, I’m thinking we should go out on more dates like that.”
“Just more dates?” Silver asked.
“It doesn’t have to just be dates, though. We could just go on more outings, but change up the dynamics a bit. We can go as one big group one night, but then pair off on another. Mix things up and see different sides of one another.” At this point, Thomas was reasonably certain he was just taking various bits of advice he’d heard on TV and from various seminars over the years, haphazardly slapping them together, and trying to pass it off as a well-reasoned mission plan.
Luna clapped her hands together. “I love it!”
Thomas blinked. “You do?”
“Verily. We should all go out on more dates together!”
“I like the small groups part,” Silver added. “Ponies tend to act differently depending on who they’re with, so going out in different pairs would be ideal for building more intimate bonds.”
“Ah like that we don’t gotta call ‘em dates. Takes the pressure off so we can jus’ enjoy ourselves.”
“I like the idea of getting even closer with you guys,” cheered Surprise. “Despite what some might say, sex is always better when there’s lovey dovey stuff mixed in.”
Thomas chuckled. “Given that I lack the full context of cultural norms around here,” his gaze trailed between each of the mares, lingering the longest on Luna and Moonlight, “I’ll take your word for it.”
“Aww!” the mares sounded as one.
“Well,” he grunted, somewhat dreading this next part. “Since the point of this is to help build trust, I guess I might as well start with a certain secret.”
“As do I,” added Luna, sharing a resolute nod with Thomas.
Silver and Moonlight adjusted themselves, indicating they were present for emotional support, but would otherwise let the secret keepers take the lead.
“I’ll go first,” Thomas volunteered, turning to face the others. He glanced between Surprise and Honey, finding their expressions attentive. A part of him wondered which bit of news would get the bigger reaction. Oh well. “Long story short, I’m not from this world.”
Honey’s brow made a slow climb up her forehead while Surprise tilted her head, her flopping ears resembling a confused and adorable dog.
“No one’s sure exactly what happened. Royal magicians are still looking into it.” Thomas glanced at Luna, checking to confirm this was the case. “I’m from a world without magic,” he confessed. The newest mares blinked their surprise, but remained silent. “At the time, I was going about a pretty mundane life when,” he chuckled, “a hole in the fabric of reality tore itself open right beside me… Or maybe it was below me? Direction wasn’t exactly a priority at the time. Anyway, I think I fell unconscious for a bit. When I woke up,” he waved his hand out, “I’d landed right smack in Luna’s bedroom.”
The two newbies continued to listen in silent patience. When Thomas appeared to have finished, wrapping up with a few relevant events following his arrival, they turned their querying gazes onto each other, and then the other mares. They were checking for signs of stifled laughter, of any indication that this might all be some elaborate joke. There was none to be found. Even so, Honey still felt she had to ask.
“Ya’ll serious?”
Thomas nodded. “The whole thing about me being from another country was just a cover story.” He grinned. “Princesses thought ponies might go into a panic at the idea of aliens popping in unannounced.”
“Ah should think so,” Honey agreed stoutly. Her expression remained thoughtful as she continued to process this new information.
“Yeah. How’d we ever handle all those surprise dinner guests?"
“Not what Ah was gettin’ at,” Honey corrected, “but also important.”
Thomas made a face. He certainly hadn’t expected a reaction like that.
“But that ain’t gonna happen, right? The droppin’ in part, Ah mean.” Honey added, glancing between the others.
“From what little we understand, no,” Luna answered. “Although anomalies like those Thomas described are more common than is generally known, his case was exceptional for a number of reasons. First and foremost being that random, unstable portals are rarely bigger than a speck of sand. One could appear right now and none of us would ever notice the exchange of a few air particles.”
“This sounds a lot like a comic Ah read once,” Honey interjected. “Ain’t it also a fluke that Thomas went from wherever he was – presumably on the ground – to way up on a mountain side that jus’ so happened ta have a room?”
“The magicians actually showed me the odds once,” Thomas added, trying not to think about how easy it would have been for him to have appeared somewhere without convenient access to a floor. “Zeroes filled up, like, half the paper.”
The newbies eyes went wide and Moonlight scooted closer to her mate. None were pleased about his implications of what very nearly could have happened.
“So basically, thanks to a random fluke of the universe, or maybe universes, I’ve been tossed across the time-space continuum, almost literally right into the arms of a bunch of horny mares.” Said mares quietly laughed, appreciating the levity.
“So… you’re an alien?” Surprise asked.
“An illegal alien,” Thomas corrected with a hint of pride. “Bypassed the customs office like nobody’s business.”
Surprise whickered sullenly. “Oh poo. There goes my hopes for making friends with all the other cute humans.”
“Want to know something worse?” Thomas offered mischievously, much to the mares’ confusion. “You might have heard this already, but a big reason for why I’ve had so much difficulty adjusting to Equestrian norms, besides human cultures having a nudity taboo, is that the human sex ratio is 1 to 1. Like, 51% of the population is female to the male 49%.” He grinned as the impact of his words were absorbed by the newbies.
“Sooo…” Surprise began. “On the human world, there’s cute guys literally everywhere, and not just every other where like it is here?”
Thomas nodded with a smug grin.
Surprise’s expression sunk even more and her bottom lip quivered. “You’re right. That is worse!” she cried.
“What about yer family?” Honey asked, feeling that it needed to be said.
Thomas smiled flatly and sighed. “Honestly, I’d been growing a little distant with my parents and other relatives for years. I’d always been an introvert, but it had been getting worse with me basically becoming one of those shut in nerds that only left the house because he had to.” It hurt the most to tell this part. While he felt sadness at the idea of never seeing his family again, he was also a bit disgusted with what a worthless waste of space he’d been. At least here he was actively making people happy, even if the job was unorthodox.
Thomas would have said as much, but soon found the air squeezed right out of his lungs as the surrounding mares swarmed and hugged him. His resistance to the surprise touching – a thing he’d always detested from strangers – was short lived. The soft warmth of mare bodies, it seemed, were the ultimate in stress relief. He smiled and gave into the embrace, thinking how no household should be without a mare to hug.
When the hug ended, Thomas found himself sitting in Moonlight’s lap while the others continued to crowd around him. It was like they were antsy for another excuse for hugging, which was par for the course for Thomas’ experience. Ponies were a physical species, in every wonderful sense of the word, and he nodded his appreciation to each of them.
Then Thomas looked at Surprise once more. “As far as human-pony relations, it actually gets worse from here.”
Surprise’s eyes widened to almost comical proportions as her lip quivered at full power. Thomas almost didn’t have the heart to break the news to her like this… Almost.
“Secret number two. Whatever reason you might have heard for me having my own personal guard,” he gestured at Moonlight, “the truth is that I’m actually an oracle.”
“An oracle? Like Celestia?” Surprise asked eagerly.
Honey looked equally enraptured by this revelation, more so than the first. “Ya’ll see the future?”
Thomas chuckled, as did Luna and Moonlight. Silver merely rolled her eyes. “Not with any kind of accuracy, and my ‘visions’” he said with literal air quotes, “are through a pretty unusual filter.”
“Oh. I heard about this!” Surprise chirped. “Some oracles, like Celestia, get prophetic dreams, but it’s totally random on when they happen or she sees. Other ponies have a talent for using this sort of advanced scrying with crystal balls,” she described while molding her hands around the invisible sphere. “Then there’s stuff like reading tea leaves and putting animal bones in fire. And that’s not even the weird stuff.”
Finally seeing a break, Thomas jumped back in. “I think mine falls onto the weird side of things.”
Surprise furrowed her brow. “Does it involve staring at poop?”
Thomas blinked. “Weird in that it’s uncommon, not gross,” he corrected. “You know the stories I’ve told you guys from TV shows and movies?” They nodded. “Well …” And he told them about the show My Little Pony and its main characters. Once the newbies had recovered from the initial shock, Thomas further clarified some of the differences between the show and the Equestria they all knew. Not least of which, he brought up the incident with the ursa minor and stressed how it proved his predictions weren’t 100% accurate. Somehow, the idea of a television show depicting future events in another universe being only partially accurate only made the scenario seem even more implausible. When it was over, Surprise and Honey were granted a moment’s reprieve to process the utter bizarreness of what they’d been told.
Honey was the first to break the silence. “So … ya’ll only got a rough idea o’ what’s happenin’?”
Thomas nodded.
“Which ya only know ‘cause o’ some TV show?”
Thomas nodded again. “It was about magical, candy colored quadrupeds that had a popularity that surprised pretty much everyone, especially with its appeal to older men.”
“So, if that fiction was real, then … Fable Mable might be real, too?”
Thomas chuckled and shrugged. He really should have anticipated that reaction. What nerd wouldn’t wonder about such a possibility? “Maybe. For all we know, there’s a world where Fable is real, but actually a boy.”
Honey slumped in her seat. “Now that’s jus’ takin’ things a smidge too far.”
“Shot in the dark, but I’m guessing you’re not allowed to tell us the future?” Surprise asked.
Thomas looked to Luna.
“I fear it will be up to you to decide how best to use your visions,” Luna informed. “You have already told ‘Tia and I all you know, and plans have been put into motion. However, you are far from an impulsive stallion. At times you can even be cautious to a fault.” She grinned playfully. “As such, I trust you to use your own judgement in such matters.”
Thomas pursed his lips a moment before eventually nodding to Luna. He was grateful for the trust, but still wasn’t certain he was ready for such responsibility.
“It’s okay. I didn’t really want to know, anyway,” Surprise cut in, confusing the others. “A surprise party isn’t as fun if it isn’t a surprise, and that’s how life should be. One big surprise.”
“Verily,” declared Luna as she wrapped one arm around the white mare’s back and under her breasts, pulling her into a wrestling hold. “We now possess one big Surprise.”
Surprise giggled and stole a boop of the royal snoot, making Luna’s face scrunch. “Got you back.”
“Is that it, then?” Honey asked, sounding even more exhausted than before. “Any more world changin’ secrets? ‘Cause Ah think Ah need a nap after all that.”
“Just one,” Silver spoke up authoritatively, leveling a stare up at Luna. “But I think you will be more appreciative of this one.”
Luna nodded and released Surprise, although the white mare continued pressing herself to the alicorn. Luna saw no reason to change this and began her tale. It was the story of many hundreds of years ago, when the alicorns first came to this land and fell in love for the first time. Being immortal, they were forced to watch as these loves grew old and died. Yet still they found the strength to press on, falling in love all over again with new ponies. However, Destiny was a rather cheeky thing. Perhaps in thanks for all the Princesses had done to maintain harmony, they were blessed with meeting the reincarnations of past loves. The bonds of true sole mates were forged and reforged generation after generation. Not all who were welcomed into the Princesses beds were lovers from past lives. However, the general size of the harems did get just a little bit bigger with each passing generation.
“Us?” Surprise asked in awe, gesturing to herself.
Luna smiled gently and nodded between the newbies. “I am truly blessed to meet you aga-”
The alicorn’s words were cut short as the pegasus threw herself at her larger lover, embracing her tightly. Honey wasn’t in as much of a rush. She stood slowly, letting the water cascade down her voluptuous figure as she strolled casually up to the pair. She smiled patiently and waited for Luna to make some room before joining in the hug.
Thomas watched the sweet scene in fascination. Just as with Silver and Moonlight, the revelation about the reincarnation seemed to be the easiest pill for the ponies to swallow. It made its own kind of sense, though. Destiny and reincarnation were already a part of these people’s culture, so of course they’d accept it intellectually. It was, however, how easily they’d emotionally taken to the revelation that most captivated Thomas. Knowing you had relatives you’ve never met was an entirely different beast from being invited to the family reunion, yet these ponies barely even batted an eye. Then again, all things considered, learning the future from watching a cartoon designed to sell toys really did seem like the least plausible thing said so far.
But no matter. The point was that this group of perverted weirdos was setting out to strengthen the bonds they shared. Thomas and Luna had set the tone by confessing their secrets, ensuring that there would be honesty and openness between them in the future.
Luna and Honey had the most constrictive schedules, meaning they would be the focal points that the others had to plan around. For these casual outings, a disguised Luna would have her usual cadre of guard ponies masquerading as civilians. That part went over with little fuss, as all present understood the necessity of keeping the Princess safe. If nothing else, it would save the Lt. from getting an ulcer if Luna went unguarded. The more controversial element, however, was in regards to Thomas’ guard.
“I think you made a mistake,” Moonlight said, pointing to the calendar they were using to plan their outings. “This has Honey and I going to the arcade, but you and Thomas are going to the public pool at the same time.”
“Indeed,” Luna confirmed sagely. “That was the intent.”
“But…” Moonlight struggled to fine the words. The problem seemed so obvious that it actually felt a bit wrong to point it out.
“That was my idea,” Thomas admitted hesitantly. Moonlight looked shocked, and perhaps even a little hurt, which was exactly what he’d been quietly fretting about. “Like Silver said, we act differently depending on who we’re around.”
The bat mare made a ‘don’t try and pin this on me’ expression.
“I just thought it might be a good idea to try and shake up our dynamic.” Above all else, Thomas dreaded Moonlight asking if he was getting tired of her. He’d run that exact scenario in his head more than a dozen times since they started reviewing the schedule, and each iteration was more unbearable than the last. This was precisely the kind of conflict he hated the most, and it made his stomach tie itself in knots.
Then, as was the human’s fashion, he started overthinking things. Would her asking be a sign of insecurity? If so, did that mean she was being clingy, or did the fault somehow rest with him? Herd dynamics made the prospect of jealousy a tangle of thorns he’d yet to explore. Was this the sort of hurdle that only made relationships stronger? No wonder writers could make a living writing about relationships, be they fictional or advisory. Just thinking about this stuff made him feel like a great weight had manifested atop his back.
Moonlight clucked her tongue thoughtfully as she considered her response. The tells were subtle, but she was fairly certain that Thomas was overthinking things again, and not in the good way. As his mare, she owed it to herself and him to ease his worries as swiftly and honestly as possible. “I guess that makes sense.”
Thomas allowed himself to breathe, though not by much. The weight also diminished just a little, granting him the hope of relief.
“I assume he’ll be granted covert guards as well.”
Luna, who had been quietly observing, nodded. “There will.”
Moonlight heaved a sigh. “Then, so long as he’s properly protected, I guess I’m fine with it.”
Are you really? Thomas wondered. That sigh didn’t exactly sound fine. Then again, is my presumption making me biased? He looked to the other mares to gauge their reactions. Based on the direction of their ears, Honey and Silver were only half paying attention. Surprise was rolling on her back with her arms and legs tucked in in an imitation of a cat batting at an invisible piece of string. If there was tension in the room, they didn’t seem aware of it. Certain that he’d be unable to speak up on his own, Thomas quietly hoped Moonlight might break this (imagined) tension by elaborating further.
“Will Thomas go in disguise?” Surprise asked, still playing the cat.
“Why?” Thomas replied, although he already had a few ideas forming.
“Like that thing at the zoo where that dumb butt tried to say you were an animal,” Surprise elaborated. “Stuff like that keeps happening when there’s no Princess or visible guard around. It’s no wonder you almost never go out.”
Thomas reluctantly nodded, finding no fault in her logic.
“But nothing like that has happened recently, has it?” Silver inquired. “Surely Canterlot must be used to seeing you by now.”
“If they ain’t, they never will be if ya keep goin’ out in disguise,” Honey added. “Plus some ponies jus’ got manure fer brains ‘n’ manners. Best ta jus’ get use’ t’ ‘em while ya can.”
“I think you should decide,” Luna said to Thomas. “It is your life, after all.”
Thomas nodded and mulled it over. As uncomfortable as those encounters were, they weren’t nearly as bad as the quiet crisis he’d just endured. His breathing had already eased with its passing. Not to mention that it really had been a while since the last time; not counting that uptight con snob, which only proved looking like a pony wasn’t a perfect shield against the judgement of others. Thinking more on the matter, between this and his newfound freedom to share the future, he wondered if this was part of some test on Luna’s part to better himself. Oddly, thinking of it as a sort of obligation, and one that really seemed to be for his own good, made the decision just a little easier to make.
“I think I’ll try going out as me.”
Moonlight reached over and gripped his shoulder. Her smile was proud.
Thomas returned a grateful grin of his own, now fully certain that Moonlight wasn’t bothered about them splitting up on occasion.
**********
Following the creation of the schedule and submitting it to Smokey’s office, the harem decided to give this exercise a test run. They’d go out, but they didn’t really have any destinations in mind. They just figured they’d split up, take in the sights, and see what happened.
Thomas and Silver headed roughly west, choosing to walk and take in the city like proper citizens. Thomas wore blue jeans and a white t-shirt while Silver, not wanting to be outclassed, went butt naked.
“I still don’t see how that’s classier than actually wearing something,” Thomas remarked as they walked along.
“It’s a matter of how one presents themselves,” Silver lectured. “By going out like this, with no fancy ware, baubles, or my uniform to draw attention, I’m saying to the world that I am comfortable as I am and that there is nothing significant happening in my life at this time. My figurative voice is quiet and polite, so as to not disturb others. By contrast,” she gestured at Thomas with a grimace. “Wearing that in public is like denouncing public opinion entirely. You prioritize personal comfort, have no concern for fashion trends, and you want everypony to know.”
Thomas nodded as he listened. “But… that’s true. I don’t care. And how is that different from you,” he gestured back, “saying you don’t care?”
“It’s a matter of tone, darling. I am quietly and politely saying that all is well, while you might as well be shouting for all to hear how little you care about their opinions. Which in itself is a little hypocritical, since you want them to know, and therefore do care.”
Befuddled, Thomas looked around the street. Given that this was Canterlot, it was little surprise to see how many pedestrians were wearing fancy clothing or jewelry. Most were naked, or very nearly so with only bits of jewelry or small articles of clothing to cover themselves. Those on the job were distinguished by their work uniforms, which mostly consisted of shirts or neckwear to indicate their place of employment. Still, it wasn’t too hard for Thomas to spy at least a few ponies in similar casual dress. He pointed them out.
“That only proves my point,” Silver argued. “Take that one there. Her mane looks like it hasn’t seen a comb in weeks. And those pants are awfully wrinkled. I hesitate to go near, lest we see how deeply its stained,” she added with a shudder.
“That sounds kind of stereotypical,” he noted. Although he wasn’t 100% on if this was an actual stereotype or not. “Maybe she’s into punk rock and that’s her concert outfit? Then those piercings would probably make sense.”
Silver looked at Thomas like he’d just pissed on her ancestor’s grave. “And that’s… better?”
Thomas laughed. He wasn’t familiar enough with local stereotypes about fans of different music genres to argue one way or the other, so he figured he’d change the subject. “Okay, but what about him? Casual shirt, laid back posture, and… possibly stoned expression. That’s just a guy going about his business without a care.”
“Well he should care,” Silver countered. “What you call ‘laid back’, I call impending back problems and a permanent slump.”
At her accusatory stare, Thomas rolled his shoulders back and straightened his own posture just a bit, playing it off as if he hadn’t just given in to peer pressure. “But that just proves my point that he doesn’t care. He’s not doing this for any kind of special attention. He’s just having a night to himself, probably planning on meeting up with friends or-”
Thomas’ rationalization stalled when a couple mares approached the stallion. They were giggling and one was acting a little bashful. It seemed likely that this was not a planned meeting between old friends. The human looked to Silver, hoping her superior hearing might lend some insight into what was being said. However, the man tensed when he beheld the mare’s smug grin. It didn’t take a genius to guess what she’d heard, but she explained anyway.
“They like his style,” she said in a whispering boast. “They think he’s cool,” she said in air quotes, “for not caring what others think, and hope he’ll join them for a meal.”
The stallion flipped his mane in that iconic ‘I don’t care’ manner, wrapped his arms around both mares’ shoulders, and allowed them to lead him off.
“He agreed,” Silver narrated patronizingly, “and looks rather pleased with himself. One might even think that was his intent all along.”
Fearing that he was on the verge of losing the argument, Thomas quickly changed the subject. “That’s not going to happen to me, is it? I mean, I’m not going to get propositioned like that, am I?”
Silver regarded him quizzically. “You mean you haven’t, already?”
Thomas shook his head. “Then again, I guess I’ve always been with an armored guard, a loudmouth griffon, or a Princess, so my frame of reference is probably a little skewed.”
Silver nodded absently. “I should say so. But with those things gone, I’d say it’s only a matter of time before some brave mare works up the nerve to ask you out.”
“You think so?”
Silver scoffed. “That had better be ignorance and not false modesty,” she warned. “A towering hunk like Big Plow is pretty universally desired. If a stallion is featured on the cover of a fashion magazine, four times out of five he has biceps bigger than either of our hips.” She gestured down for emphasis. “But that sort of body is untenable for most, making stallions like Captain Shining Armor far more approachable.” She paused a second to look her partner over. “You are more of the bookish, pretty colt type. It’s more of a niche appeal, but it really tingles at a mare’s instincts to protect and care for her stallion.”
Thomas laughed. He’d heard some of this before, but now he was having mixed feelings about his ‘appeal’ applying to strangers. “So if that happens, I just tell them I’m already in a herd?”
Silver nodded. “Yes, but don’t think that will be the end of it.”
“How so?”
“A follow up question you should expect will be who your lead mare is. Anypony who hasn’t been living under a rock for the last few months should know that you’re in Luna’s harem, but they’re less likely to know you’re already herded.”
Thomas opened his mouth to ask for further elaboration, but then he thought it over. “Because being part of a couple won’t be much of a turnoff.”
Silver grinned and nodded her satisfaction. “Quite the opposite. Mares tend to find herded stallions more attractive than single ones.”
“It’s the same with human women.”
Silver frowned her puzzlement. “But I thought you humans only did pairings.”
“We do, but I’ve heard about studies saying that knowing that a man is desired by one tends to make him more desirable to others.”
“Then, if the desired male is already in a relationship, that means outside females are driven to poach them?”
“If I’m understanding the terms, then yeah. Pretty much.”
Silver shook her head. “With all due respect, you humans are weird.”
“Preaching to the choir,” Thomas exhaled, wrapping an arm around Silver and pulling her close. “Or is this the case of the pot calling the kettle black?”
Silver straightened, her expression twisting to look especially snobbish and just a tiny bit scornful. “And what, pray tell, makes you call me a hypocrite?”
“For one thing, I don’t think I’ve ever used that idiom with you before, and yet you know it. Considering where I’m from, that’s pretty weird.”
Silver scoffed. “You can’t blame that on me, or anypony for that matter. That’s a peculiarity that spans both our wor-homes,” she corrected, her ears swiveling about anxiously, “but that doesn’t make my culture weird.”
“You guys put jewelry on your junk and brag about it,” Thomas countered confidently.
Silver pursed her lips. “Okay, that might be a little bit odd, but there’s a cultural context you’re ignoring.”
“And there’s a biological context with humans.”
“There’s a biological context for infidelity?” Silver asked skeptically.
Thomas shrugged. “Kinda. See, humans evolved from apes, most of which organize themselves to have one or a few alpha males taking all the ladies for themselves. The females go along with this to ensure that their offspring get the strongest genes-”
“Jeans?” Silver cut in, gesturing down to Thomas’ pants.
“Genetics,” he corrected, noticing how her ears had fully swiveled forward to listen. “The traits passed on from parent to child. Anyway, the female’s offspring get that advantage, but she gets left out having to share the one guy with, like, twenty others females. Over time, humans evolved to select for more than just the biggest and strongest males, but those with a willingness to look after both her and her kids. Eventually this proved to be the most successful strategy for the species, with two parents being fully invested in the upbringing and care of their shared children.”
Silver didn’t answer right away. “That’s… fascinating. It really is, and I’m surprised human records go back that far. But what does that have to do with poaching?”
“First of all, it’s not a record. Our scientists observe the behavior of other apes and use that as a basis to infer how humans developed. One famous example is an experiment where they gave a coin to a chimp.”
“What happened?”
Thomas smiled at how engrossed Silver was. A part of him wondered if she was just faking to be polite, but that part was tiny and easily ignored. “He gave it to a female in exchange for sex, effectively proving prostitution is, in fact, the world’s oldest profession.”
Silver chuckled.
“As for the poaching thing, I guess it boils down to a conflict of old and new instincts and survival strategies. The woman wants the most capable man she can get, and knowing that another woman has claimed him tells the first woman that he’s worthy of at least some attention. At the same time, despite monogamy being the best strategy, humans still have those instincts to strive to be the alpha male and,” he hesitated, “spread our seed around to ensure our lineage is passed on.”
Silver clucked her tongue as she processed this. “Okay. I suppose I understand the context, but that doesn’t make your species any less weird. You should just pick a strategy and stick to it.”
“Old and new instincts. Old customs and new laws. Throw in recent technology trends that are proven to be detrimental to social relations, yet indispensable for economic growth, and you get a giant cluster ef that just gives everyone a headache.”
“Nothing you’ve said has proven ponies are even remotely as weird as humans.”
“No, but I did keep you distracted long enough for us to get away from the clothing stores. Now you can’t take me clothes shopping.”
Silver’s eyes snapped open and she spun around. The surrounding buildings were mostly hotels and restaurants. When she turned back to face Thomas, she gave him an approving grin. “Well played.”
“Actually, this kinda reminds me of something Moonlight said earlier. Is it really normal for mares to,” he looked around and lowered his volume, “well, like to watch during sex?”
Silver shrugged. “I suppose. Is it different for humans?”
“Well, outside of watching porn, or doing other things that are generally frowned upon, yeah. But what I was getting at was how ponies have instincts that inform social behavior, too.”
“True, but that’s hardly comparable. Mares watching their stallions with other mares in the herd is conducive to a more healthy relationship.”
“Probably why you guys don’t get jealous like humans would, either.”
“But then it’s as you said regarding your people finding the best strategy for survival. We’re different species from different environments, so of course our social dynamics would develop differently.”
“What about other species? Minotaurs, diamond dogs, dragons, and so on. What are they like?”
Silver smiled ponderously. “I never really thought about it before. Hmm. Let me see.”
Thomas waited patiently as she thought.
“Well, I suppose diamond dogs are more like how you described apes with alpha and beta males. The top dogs rule with the largest herds – or packs in this case – while the weaker males get few to no mates at all. Minotaurs, I think, don’t have as wide a gap between the numbers of males and females. It’s still there, but I think females outnumber males at less than two to one. Sorry if I get anything wrong,” she laughed. “I’m certain we went over this in school, but it’s been years.”
“No problem,” Thomas allowed amicably. “We can probably look it up when we get back to the castle.”
“Or perhaps ask the diamond dogs in Celestia’s harem,” Silver countered excitably. “I don’t think we’ve ever formally met, and it could be an excuse to go see Tali again.”
Recalling the second friend he’d made since coming to Equestria made Thomas’ guts sink. They’d waved to one another in the halls and spoke a little during shared meals, but it hadn’t been the same. Thomas always had issues speaking up in groups unless he had a single person to focus on. Usually one or more of the mares on Luna’s side of the table would demand his attention while another of Celestia’s concubines would take Talon’s. All these factors combined simply made it too hard for him to speak up and get her attention. They just weren’t making time for each other like they used to. “Yeah. I guess it’s been a while.”
“Dragons, though,” Silver continued, not noticing Thomas’ funk, “aren’t as well-known. Most live in the Badlands to the south, but I think there are a few enclaves here in Equestria where they’re allowed to settle.”
“Allowed?”
“Dragons and ponies aren’t exactly on the best of terms. A few too many misunderstandings and accidents have made us rather wary of one another, leading to a lot of self segregation. At least that’s how my teacher put it.”
Thomas nodded. “Manehatten.”
“What?”
“There’s a dragon neighborhood in Manehatten. I don’t think it was worn down like a ghetto, but ponies were definitely ready to start blaming dragons at the drop of a hat. Speaking of which,” Thomas shook his hand as he recalled, “Someone should really put in a call to… I guess pest control and tell them to be on the lookout for fire snails. Or maybe it was slugs?”
Silver blinked, taken aback. “Is this one of your…” she trailed off, her implications clear.
“I read it in a comic,” Thomas answered, grinning at the absurdity of it all. “The comics are considered B-canon, which I guess makes them even less reliable than what I know about the show.”
“Do the Princesses know?”
“Hmm. Actually, no. I don’t think I remembered that part. Mostly just the big, cataclysmic stuff. But thanks for reminding me. Later I’ll give the Princesses the full details and they can send the letter.” His brow quirked when he noticed Silver laughing. “What?”
“Di-did I just accidentally save Manehatten by reminding you of a comic book?” she asked with incredulous mirth.
“Um, from a potential race riot, yeah.”
Silver shook her head, still chortling. “That’s… I’m not sure whether to feel proud for helping others, or roll my eyes at just how ridiculous the methods were. Er, no offense.”
“Hey, none taken. It’s nice to have someone else know how silly I feel sometimes.”
Silver made another thoughtful hum and pressed her shoulder to Thomas’ as they walked along. “This is nice.”
Thomas froze internally, suffering from a momentary critical failure of higher brain functions, commonly known as a brain fart. “Um, yeah.”
“I mean that it’s nice for us to spend some private time together like this. We almost never get the chance.”
“Is there even such a thing as ‘private’ in a harem?”
“You know what I mean,” Silver chided good-naturedly. “You and I almost never have any personal time and it made me worry that, perhaps, we weren’t as close as we could be.”
Thomas heard the vulnerability in Silver’s words and immediately wrapped his hand around her far shoulder. He said nothing, thinking the mare just wanted him to listen.
“I like talking to you. Your social awareness is lacking, but in every other way you’re a lot smarter than you seem to believe. As bad as it might sound, I feel like I can have more intelligent conversations with you than some of the others.”
“And Luna?”
Silver made a ‘don’t go there’ face. “With her, there’s hardly much comparison, nothing I can really say that she does not already know. Sometimes I even get the feeling she holds back to make the rest of us feel better.”
Thomas nodded. “I think I’ve noticed that, too.”
“With her it can sometimes feel like I’m being lectured, not that I mind, of course,” Silver amended quickly. “If I was ever to be lectured, it might as well be by the voice of a goddess. And do not mistake me for being snobbish. I know the others have their areas of expertise, but I had always felt you and I were, well, closer to the same level.”
“You mean besides height-wise,” Thomas added with a wry grin, followed by a pained huff when he was deservedly hip checked.
“You also have wit, even if you lack the wisdom to use it properly,” Silver countered with playful warning. Then her expression softened. “I would like to talk more with you, and on matters besides the intellectual.”
“Okay,” Thomas agreed. He liked talking with Silver, too, and the whole point of these dates was to try and see more sides of each other. “About what?”
Put on the spot, Silver had to pull back and think a moment. She thought and thought, and then hissed under her breath. “I’m thinking, but I keep going back to ideas that just seem too brainy.”
“That could also be fun,” Thomas suggested. “A genre that’s always really fascinated me was alternate history stories. You take a critical historical event, change things up, and then just build a world based on that change.”
Silver smiled appreciatively. “Okay, that does sound fun.” At Thomas’ gesturing, she realized he was putting the burden on her to choose the scenario. “Let’s see here. What… if… the Princesses never came to Equestria?”
“Okay, yeah!” Thomas beamed. “If I recall, the tribes had just agreed to start trying to cooperate to ward off the Wendigoes before settling this new land.”
Silver nodded. “Yes. Tensions were still high, though. Most of the weaker tribes died out or were absorbed because they couldn’t compete with the others.”
“But what if they didn’t?” Thomas argued. “While everyone else was grabbing for all the biggest pieces of real-estate, the smaller tribes all found more secluded spots where they could still thrive.”
“Exciting,” Silver tittered. “So then history goes on with unicorns still controlling the movements of the sun, moon, and stars.”
“Wasn’t there a problem with that, though? Like, moving the sun for a full day took a small group of unicorns, but left them permanently drained afterwards?”
Silver nodded. “True. Much knowledge and culture from the old world was lost in the migration. So, I suppose, are the unicorns destroyed?”
“That depends. How does the rest of the world cope with a stationary sun and moon?”
“I’m not sure it can. Nature depends too much on the day-night cycle. Without it, the world would either cook or freeze.”
“So then that doesn’t happen,” Thomas concluded. “How about if the unicorns just remembered to bring along their notes on safely moving the sun?”
“But then we have to make a second changed. I thought the idea was to only have one change.”
“It’s a snowball effect,” Thomas explained. “One change leads to another, but there’s really no point in any of this if it doesn’t serve the story.”
Silver still looked puzzled.
“Stories are meant to be told. Writers make stories in the hopes of finding an audience that wants to hear them. If there is no audience, the story has failed and either needs to be reworked or thrown out. For example: we don’t have to fully rewrite history. We could do a small scale short story that focuses on one or a group of survivors in a post-unicorn world. The snow is deep and the cold is biting. The survivors scavenge for what they can, and sometimes fight with other groups over dwindling resources. Old niceties are forgotten when survival until tomorrow is no longer certain. All the while there’s this somber tone that it’s all pointless. One day the last can of preserved food is going to be eaten, the last blanket will be too worn to be of any use, and then it’s all over.”
Silver blinked and pulled away. “That… was dark.”
Thomas grinned. “Thank you.”
Silver’s gaze turned wary. “That was not intended as a compliment.”
“But it kept your attention, didn’t it? I saw.” He indicated how her ears were facing him. “You were picturing the scene in your head. Now the idea just needs to be fleshed out with some colorful descriptions. Biting cold,” he repeated proudly. “That’s a good one.”
Silver glanced down at his hips. “You really ought to stitch a book or something onto your pants. Give ponies some warning before you start doing,” she gestured generally at him, “that.”
Thomas’ look of smug satisfaction was almost slappable. “Heh. Probably. But that’s the process of making a story. Instead of saying ‘but’, you say ‘and then.’ There’s no solution to a lack of unicorns, and then what happens?”
Silver made a face. “I think I understand the concept, but can we make the story a happier one instead?”
“Happy or sad; what really matters in a story is whether or not it’s interesting,” Thomas asserted. “A story can even be good if it’s frustrating. Like, if there’s a character about to do something stupid or horrible. Others are explaining why they shouldn’t be doing this thing, but it’s just not clicking with them. Then they do the thing, and you’re left stunned, maybe a little angry. I’ve read stories like that that’ve stayed with me for days after. And I go back because, sometimes, you just get in the mood to have that kind of experience.”
“And this is the experience I get from talking to you in private,” Silver stated conclusively. “I guess I can see the appeal,” she allowed.
Thomas nodded gladly. “And so now, because my audience demands it, I try and reshape the story to something happier.”
“Yes, please!” Then she spied a café. “But first, perhaps a snack?”
They sat at one of the outdoor tables and placed their orders. Silver had tea and a cinnamon roll while Thomas got milk and a doughnut.
“He seemed nice,” Silver commented.
Thomas took a second look at the stallion who had just taken their orders. While a little surprised at first, he didn’t look in any other way upset at Thomas’ appearance. “Yeah. I guess.”
“What?” Silver asked at Thomas’ odd grin.
“I was just remembering times when I went out to eat with my parents. My mom would always let me know whenever she thought a waitress looked cute.”
Silver tapped her fingers on the table. “Because… she was trying to set you up?”
“Bingo!”
“I’m learning,” she lightly cheered and gave herself a small applause. “But is parental involvement a regular part of human courtship?”
“It’d probably be better described as nagging,” Thomas corrected. “That’s what happens when you’re pushing thirty without any romantic prospects, all while your parents are getting anxious for grandkids.”
“Ah. That would be a commonality between our cultures,” Silver laughed. She then thanked the waiter when he brought back their orders and sipped her tea. “It’s not like I’m avoiding trying to start my own heard. I just… have yet to meet the right ponies.”
“I was avoiding. Didn’t think I had anything to really offer a relationship. Not to mention I was pretty set in the bachelor life of paying rent to keep living with my parents.”
“To the single life.” Silver held out her cup.
Thomas returned the gesture and clinked the pieces of porcelain together in a toast. “You were great while you lasted.” And the pair downed their drinks.
Silver grinned mischievously. “You know, if we were both mares, this would be the part where one of us proposes we should team up to find a stallion together.”
Thomas chuckled and decided a faux song was in order. “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do thaaat!”
Silver giggled back. “Fair enough.”
The pair ate in silence for a while. With nothing else to preoccupy his time, Thomas scarfed down his doughnut like it would expire any second. He thought on Silver’s words. He thought deeply on them. Then a question occurred, followed by a question on if it was even appropriate for him to ask her. After a bit more thinking, Thomas decided to see just how close he and Silver were. “This is purely hypothetical,” he prefaced after washing down the last of his doughnut. “I’m not proposing anything, so feel free to stop me if this gets… weird.”
Silver nodded, curious as to what would have gotten him so anxious.
“So, hypothetically speaking,” Thomas reminded, “why exactly can’t we be in a herd?”
Silver stopped chewing. She stared blankly across the table at Thomas for several long seconds. Then she swallowed.
“Dumb questions?” he asked, already fearing the worst had come to pass. “No! Not at all,” she assured. “You just caught me off guard a little.” “So there is some kind of-”
“Zip!” she instructed, making a zipping motion over her lips. “Let me finish. First of all, that’s very sweet of you to propose.”
Thomas’ insides were turning over themselves. He recognized that tone all too well from countless bad romances on TV and movies. Any minute now, she’d deliver a ‘but’ like a swift kick in the pants.
“A stallion making the proposal is a little uncommon, but there’s nothing wrong with it in principle. And if we were just two old friends looking to settle down, I might give it some serious thought. However-”
Here it comes, Thomas dreaded.
“-I think I just prefer you as a friend.”
Thomas continued staring stoically at the mare, waiting for the boot heel to step on his heart, or whatever cheesy metaphor might be used in this situation. None came. He just kept on feeling anxious worry that he’d messed up royal.
“I can tell you’re asking from a good place,” Silver continued. “Probably even the same kind of place if we were both mares. And as much as I love you, I’m afraid I just don’t see us as having that kind of relationship.”
The mention of the L word eased some of Thomas’ tension and he smiled gratefully, but there was more that needed to be said. “Do you think you could help talk me through this?”
Silver nodded and reached over to grab Thomas’ hand. “We’re in a harem together. We’ve been about as intimate as any creatures can hope to be with one another. As I said earlier, you are fun to talk to. However, if I try and imagine us sharing a grocery bill in addition to a bed, I’m afraid there’s just nothing there.”
Thomas nodded. On the scale of domestic living, he thought, bill sharing was at a substantially higher level than bed sharing. “I think I see what you mean.”
“I don’t want there to be any hard feelings between us,” Silver added urgently.
Thomas rubbed his thumb over her hand and gave her a contented smile. “There aren’t. I’m also happy with the way things are between us, even if I don’t fully get it sometimes.”
“You’re no longer avoiding it,” Silver observed. “You see a pretty mare, and you pop the question. That’s not something the old you would ever do, is it?”
Thomas blinked down at their conjoined hands. “Yeah. It’s kind of nice thinking about how much I’ve grown since coming here. It might not be much, but it’s something.”
“Have I grown any since we’ve met?”
Thomas twisted his face in a look of deep thought. He even stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth and hummed louder than he really needed to. “Well, I guess you’ve got less of a stick up your butt.”
Silver huffed and looked away.
“I mean it. You’re a lot more laid back than before. More confident, too. Compared to the old you, new you can actually go up to Luna, ask her any old question, and not stutter once.”
Silver allowed a faint smile to touch her lips. “Okay. That is something to be proud of.”
“Also, in living with a bunch of perverts, you can write home about how your sexual literacy has surpassed the rest of your family.”
Silver tittered, but the grin she turned back on him was unsettlingly wicked. “You think I haven’t already?”
“Where we headin’?” Honey laughed as she allowed herself to be dragged along by the tall and full figured unicorn.
“To a place I have been aching to visit for, well, a long time,” Blue replied absently, her attention focused elsewhere.
“Ya hesitated there.”
“What?”
“When ya said a long time. It sounded like ya hesitated.”
“Your imagination,” Blue dismissed.
“‘N’ now yer bein’ all defensive,” Honey observed, her bullshitometer rising steadily. “What’s goin’ on, an’ should Ah be afraid?”
Blue stopped abruptly, inadvertently causing Honey to collide with her. She spun around to face the green mare, opening and closing her mouth a few times as she considered what to say. Honey waited quietly, her patience tested when Blue surveyed their surroundings and leaned in close to whisper something.
“Say again?”
Blue repeated her words, now only barely perceptible.
“Correct me if Ah’m wrong, but did ya’ll say: comic store?”
Blue pursed her lips and nodded. “Ever since we went to Ink Con, I have found my thoughts drifting back to that marvelous place. ‘Tis like the bazaars of old with wonders and wares from across the known world, not these overpriced markets with overregulated products.” She gestured to a perfume shop that smelled distressingly similar to a freshly fertilized field.
Luna nodded shamefully. “I asked for directions before we left, but it appears I have gotten myself lost. Do you think you could-eep!”
Turning the tables, Honey grabbed Blue by the wrist and gave her a good yank over to the nearest vendor. The earth mare tipped her Stetson politely when the vendor directed her to 3232 Cherry Street, and the two were off.
“Should I feel bad that you, the newcomer, are more familiar with this city than I?”
“Nah. Honestly, Ah have no idea where we are right now. Ah jus’ know where mah favorite comic shop is. We can get our bearin’s there.”
“Okay. Now I absolutely feel bad for not considering such an obvious strategy.”
Honey chuckled. “Ain’t the same without a planner ‘n’ a driver ta haul yer fat plot around.”
“Fat? Fat!? You dare refer to the royal moon as fat?” Blue asked, utterly aghast at her friend’s blasphemy. “I will have you know my bottom is pleasantly plump.”
Honey stopped and turned around, her puzzled gaze flicking between Blue and her rump. Although Blue was smaller overall, the glamour ensured that everything stayed proportional. Blue’s backside was lusciously round and had a subtle but enticing bounce when she walked. Even a passing glance could tell her cheeks were firm enough to bounce a quarter off of. However, having grown up surrounded by bodies sculpted by a life time of hard labor, Honey believed herself to have a keen eye when it came to determining how much of a body was muscle or fat. In Blue’s case, she had what most would consider a balance, the ideal that most strived for, but that still meant her big butt was pretty fat. “Isn’t that what Ah said?”
“Technically,” Blue conceded, peering over her shoulder in a sudden onset of self-consciousness. This new body was making her just a little insecure, and she didn’t want Honey to disapprove. “But my way sounds more complimentary,” she added defensively.
Honey’s eye roll was almost audible. “If ya can smother a full grown stallion, ya got a fat butt. Deal with it.”
“Careful,” Blue warned. “I am not a mare to cross lightly, especially when the crosser gives me ideas for retaliation.”
Honey straightened and balled her hands into fists. Her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits and stared uncompromisingly at the mare before her. “Yall wanna get serious ‘n’ settle this in the park,” she gestured to a patch of green across the road, never taking her eyes off her opponent, “or do we go to the comic store?”
Mirroring Honey’s aggressive stance, Blue stepped forward in blatant challenge. Their breasts were compressed between them, somehow with their nipples aligning perfectly. But Honey did not back down, acting as an immovable rock standing in defiance of her opponent. Their noses were almost touching and each could taste the other’s breath as they stared deeply into one another’s eyes. Each breath inflated their abdomens and strengthened the pressure on their chests to nearly painful levels as they felt the texture of the other’s fur rub across their own. It was almost obscene how intimate they were being. Neither mare could be blamed for their blushing at such contact.
This sort of posturing was very primal, and easily ignored by passing pedestrians. Even in the most loving of herds, or even groups of friends, mares still had their disputes. Exchanging blows was rare and frowned upon in most circumstances. When words failed, the socially acceptable means of resolving conflict came down to posturing with displays of dominance. In modern times, such displays were a favorite among romance writers and erotica illustrators.
“Comics first,” Blue growled in answer, pulling her shoulders back and pushing her chest out to show that she was not backing down. “Wrestling for dominance later.”
“Good priorities,” Honey replied, matching Blue’s growl and body language.
At once the pair took a step back from one another and Honey directed them back on track. Neither mare said a word for the rest of their journey. Their eyes focused forward and expression stayed stern as they purposefully marched to their destination. They did, however, walk close enough that they frequently brushed hips and elbows. This kept them both in convenient range to frequently exchange tail whips to the other’s bum. It was a very serious exchange of blows, a matter of pride that absolutely no pedestrians dawed at, and no undercover guards responded to with exasperated groans.
Their conflict had merely been postponed. It could not simply be forgotten. The inner beast normally kept docile by the trappings of civilization would not allow it. The beast had been awakened, and would not, could not rest until a resolution had been found.
Honey and Blue relaxed almost instantly upon entering the Sorcerer’s Tomb. The overhead lights were dim, drawing the eye to various figurines and memorabilia in the display cases. Deep, thrumming music played in the background as patrons and service ponies quietly chatted about this and that. Shelves were lined with equal parts books and boxes, and interspersed with the occasional video game. It was a veritable treasure trove of anything and everything a nerd could want.
Blue, slack jawed, managed only a few steps forward before being jostled out of her awed stupor. Honey smiled at her and quietly gestured for her to follow.
“So what was some o’ the stuff ya liked back at Ink Con?” Honey asked, gesturing to a wall lined to the brim with books, but most notably the Fable Mable series. “What tickles yer fancy?”
Not needing to be told twice, Blue grabbed the first two volumes of Honey’s favorite book. “You have talked this up so much, I am dying to see what the appeal is.”
Honey beamed with the pride of a cultist having converted a new member. “That’s a purty good start, too. Ah’ve heard folks say Fable Mable’s a good gateway story?”
“Gateway?”
“Ta manga. That’s what comics are called in Neighpan, remember?”
“Ah. Yes. Very good.” Now just a little wary, Blue flipped the first book open, only to have Honey’s hand block her view.
“Manga reads right ta left.”
Blue blinked. “… Why?”
“That’s jus’ how they do it, which means ya start here,” she directed.
“So many new rules,” Blue commented as she skimmed the story’s proper beginning.
“Hey. If a bumpkin like me can figure it out, you ain’t got no excuse.”
“The last time I even thought about Neighpan, we had only just signed our first nonaggression pact and trade treaty.” She turned the page. “It seems our cultures have grown considerably close since then.”
“Ah ain’t too sure ‘bout that, but Ah know there’s a growin’ lot ‘f us that can’t get enough o’ their stuff.”
“You make me wary with these allusions to addiction,” Blue informed as she turned another page. “This isn’t some elaborate marketing scheme where you draw in new customers in exchange for a fee, is it?”
Honey snorted and shook her fist. “Damn! Ah shoulda thought o’ that earlier.” She concluded with a cheeky grin.
Blue replied with a raspberry, hardly paying the green mare any mind as she casually flipped through the pages. “Pray tell, what genre is this?”
“Ah guess ya could call magical foal its own genre.”
“How is that possible?”
“There’s jus’ that many out there. Although most o’ the time its colts. Ah think it’s supposed ta be a power fantasy for the male readers.”
“And the female readers?”
“Cute boys in cute outfits fighting evil between cute scenes.”
“Ah.”
“Stories with a filly lead usually have more action.”
“Ah.”
“But Fable balances it out with a good bit o’ heart ‘n’ character scenes.”
“Ah.”
Honey pursed her lips in skepticism. “An’ that’s when this hippo showed up ‘n’ tried ta bite mah head off.”
“Go for the jaw,” Blue answered matter-of-factly. “Hippos have notoriously poor dental hygiene. They might be formidable fighters, but one good blow to the jaw is generally enough to make them cry. Their greatest weapon is, in fact, a crippling weakness.” And she turned another page. “Never underestimate my ability to multitask.”
“Ah’ll remember that,” Honey agreed with a giggle. She made herself comfortable beside Blue, joining her in rereading the first volume. That way she’d be available to answer any questions Blue might have along the way.
Ponies entered and departed the store at their leisure. Some waded through the isles while others knew exactly what they wanted and took their purchases straight to the counter. Some asked questions about various products or just caught up with what seemed to be old friends. Luna figured at least one of the ponies in her vicinity was a disguised guard, but for the life of her she couldn’t tell which. They had perfectly blended in to their civilian guises. She made a mental note to pay her compliments to the Lieutenant once they’d returned to the castle.
As soon as Blue had finished the first volume, she was stopped by Honey before she could start the second. It was common bookstore etiquette, Honey informed, to buy whatever you finish. Blue agreed that this was a sensible courtesy and took the first six volumes of Fable Mable up to the counter for purchase. Honey bought the latest issue for herself, keeping it away from Blue’s peering eyes.
The pair left for a nearby park with Honey teasing Blue with the threat of spoilers all the way. Upon arrival, they found a relatively secluded spot to stash their books before moving out to an open area. They stood several meters apart with their backs turned to one another in a classic dueling stance. They spun to face one another and Honey was the first to speak.
“Fiend!” she proclaimed, gesturing animatedly. “Ah will put an end ta yer evil once an’ fer all!”
“Ha!” Blue threw her chin back and moved her hand near her cheek. Her laughter and smirk were the bitchiest she could muster, which she felt was respectable homage to a noble she’d met a few nights back. “Fool. Your powers are nothing compared to mine. I will have my way, and nothing will stop me.”
“Not this time!” Honey’s hand swept out before her. “Never again. If ya’ll plan on smotherin’ anypony else, you’ll have ta go through me.”
Blue’s grin grew even more sadistic as she sensually licked her lips. “Oh, so tempting.”
Some yards away, a father was taking his daughter for a walk to help her adjust to the night life. The daughter saw the scene being played out between the two mares. Naturally, she asked her father what was going on. Upon seeing the source of his daughter’s concern, the father covered her eyes and hurried her away. Once he was certain they were out of earshot, he imparted upon her the wisdom of the ages that it was not polite to stare at crazy ponies.
Honey began circling right while Blue matched her step for step. “Ya’ll know Ah’m right. You’ve got a big fat butt ‘n’ ain’t no pony can argue that.”
“My plot is full and ripe, and you will pay for your disrespectful remarks. Then all shall raise their hands to the sky to praise the glory of the moon.”
They were inching closer as they circled.
“Yeah,” Honey scoffed. “The moon so full it could eclipse the sun!”
Blue blinked, taken aback. “That was a good one.”
“Ya think so?”
“Indeed. Very versatile, depending almost entirely on the context as to whether it acts as a compliment or insult, and most fitting here.”
“Well thanks. Feel free ta have it.”
“The offer is appreciated.” Blue nodded her gratitude as she and Honey continued circling. Then their expressions turned serious once more. “But mere words shall not avail you, peasant. You shall learn the divine truth, by force if need be.”
Honey stopped, turned bodily to face Blue, and widened her stance. “Bring it!”
Blue brought it, roaring her battle cry and charging her opponent with the force of a stampeding elephant. The impact of mare-on-mare sent the faintest tremor into the ground. Birds in a nerby tree voiced their protest and being so rudely awakened. Honey’s hooves left skid marks in the ground, upturning grass as she was pushed back. Her stance held, however, and Blue’s momentum had been completely absorbed.
“Impressive.”
“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” Having grown up in a rowdy family with several siblings, it was as though Honey had been training for this moment her entire life. She slipped free from Blue’s grip and quickly circled behind. From there she wrapped her arms around the big unicorn’s middle, directly beneath her breasts. With a slight adjustment to her hoofing, she hefted her opponent upwards. Any other mare in her position might have been surprised by Blue’s weight and misjudged the proper application of force required, but Honey had the advantage of prior experience. Blue was heavy, but nothing the earth mare hadn’t dealt with in the past. It almost looked easy the way Honey lifted her opponent well over her head.
Blue gritted her teeth in frustration. She’d made the classic villain’s mistake of underestimating her opponent. Perhaps Honey’s lessons in holding back had worked too well, resulting in her never showing her full strength before, not even when it was just the two of them. The mere thought of such a prospect sent a thrill through the blue mare’s core. Finally she could have a true sparring partner to test her physically instead of just magically. Truly earth ponies were magnificent creatures.
Honey allowed herself a slight smirk, glad that her opponent hadn’t tried any cheap tricks by using wings or magic. They were doing this the traditional way, the honorable way, the earth pony way. As such, Honey honored the blue mare’s courtesy by following through with her suplex. With Blue at the pinnacle of her arc, Honey’s knees bent, increasing her move’s momentum. Between the natural force of gravity and the earth mare’s natural strength, Blue was accelerating downwards at dangerous speeds.
Honey grinned. She was leaning back and her move was less than a meter from full completion. Already she was playing out her encounters with the others. Jona and Plow might have a conniption. Silver might do an impression of an angry Chihuahua, which would probably be a little funny, right up until the little scrapper started using teeth. Most, Honey thought, would just laugh it off and give her a pat on the back. For truly this was an accomplishment few had ever been able to achieve. This was a feat of great power, a victory that would surely cause the country to wail in despair if carried out by a villain. But here, out in the open, and looking like this, Honey was about to do the unthinkable, and suplex a P-
*CRASH*
“What?” Honey gasped. By her reckoning, she was still a fraction of a second from realizing her ultimate triumph. A lifetime ambition condensed down into less than a minute. Looking down, she could see the ground, her finish line, was mere inches away, yet she could not reach it. Gravity had abandoned all but her hooves, leaving the rest of her and her opponent suspended in midair. Did the unthinkable happen? Had Blue cheated? Honey didn’t see any magical glow and unfurled wings would have been hard to miss, not to mention blocked by the earth mare’s grip. There was nothing. No signs of illegal action. Honey tried to look further, but the angle of her neck inhibited her from seeing past Blue’s back and ample assets. “H-how?” she stuttered.
“Pitiful farm mare,” Blue cackled maniacally. “So used to foes who know nothing but raw strength. But your time in the harem has been short, so perhaps your ignorance should be forgiven.”
“Say… what?” Honey growled back. Her position wasn’t ideal with her knees at a 90 degree angle and her heavy breasts weighing down her torso. She managed what leverage she could, grinding her teeth as Blue refused to budge.
“The harem teaches discipline,” Blue intoned stately. “It teaches endurance, the hidden strength of compassion, but above all else…”
When Blue parted her legs, Honey’s mouth fell agape. She understood, now. The picture was clear in her mind’s eye. Blue’s back had curved, bringing her pelvis downward slightly. Her knees were straight, but she’d folded herself at an angle even less than 20 degrees. Blue’s hooves had been planted firmly in the ground. Honey understood the true severity of her mistake. Although Blue might have held back a little in her initial tackle, Honey had committed an even more egregious error by focusing on the body projected by the glamour and completely forgetting her opponent’s true proportions. She’d failed to calculate just how tall Luna was, and how long her legs were. And even with her body in this awkward position, it was still sturdier than Honey’s.
Blue’s grin grew wide and toothy. With bottomless pride she proclaimed the true secret of her impending victory. “Flexibility!”
Without warning, Honey felt the ground suddenly and quickly leave her behind. It was disorienting and made her stomach feel weightless. Now it was her turn to be lifted high into the air. All the world appeared upside down, even if her innards had momentarily lost track of gravity’s pull. A small crowd of ponies had gathered around the obnoxiously loud pair and stared on with the gleeful and bloodthirsty amusement of spectators at a pro wrestling match.
Then the spectators started going away. Why were they going away? They weren’t moving, so why were they shrinking? The answer made Honey’s heart sink and anus clench in horror. In all the confusion, she’d forgotten about her hands and had loosened her grip. As a result, with nothing to anchor her to the ground, she was sent flying straight up, and up, and up.
Earth ponies were not meant to be this high up, and especially not upside-down. This was an immutable truth of the world, as certain as Celestia’s sun. Earth ponies were meant to have their hooves on the ground at all times, or at least some kind of floor. Honey wondered why the fundamental laws of creation were abandoning her. What terrible sin had she committed to be banished from the universe like this? What color would her breakfast be when it inevitably came up? And, perhaps most perplexing of all, why was she thinking about lunch?
When gravity finally came back, it was most unhappy with Honey’s innards and punished them accordingly. Truly her sin must have been great, for now even her remaining sense of direction was abandoning her. Ground shifted to near distance, then far distance, horizon, sky, a sweeping view of the sky, a different horizon, and it was a little hard to keep track after that. Gravity, malicious and unforgiving, had decided to play around with Honey’s momentum. Her outers were being pulled down, but her innards were being pushed up. Was Honey doomed to see her stomach as well as its contents?
Like any sensible wingless creature, Honey began to frantically flail once it fully dawned on her that she was falling. She opened her mouth to scream, but it came off rather quiet and confused. “Aaaahhh?” Her brain hadn’t fully caught up with what her body was telling it. She was disoriented and starting to panic. Exactly how high was she? Would she go splat, or get away with just a bruise? The ground was back. She could see it coming close, the collision imminent. There was a tower, though. A tall, blue protrusion sticking up from the ground directly beneath her. Was she doomed to be skewered instead of going splat? Would that be worse? Why did the tower have two poles sticking out from the sides, like arms open in welcome? Equally puzzling, why did the tower have a pair of pillows with a strange, almost mystical magnetic pull to them? Certain that her doom was imminent, Honey reflexively closed her eyes and braced for the worst.
Then everything stopped with an audible slap. There was no great lurch like Honey had feared. No splat or gruesome skewering. Nothing, except that the front of her body hurt as if she’d belly flopped into a pool. The world had gone dark. No lanterns or starlight in sight. There was still sound, though. Voices were muffled, but sounded far away. There was a steady ba-dum, ba-dum sound, which struck Honey as somehow familiar and calming. Honey also heard a low grumbly, churning sound. It was the sound you still heard even after you cover your hands over your ears. Her hooves were still dangling in this mysterious void; a fact she hoped to rectify soon. Something pressed down on Honey’s back, pushing her front into something warm and soft. But the softest things of all were the swollen masses of flesh that had encased most of her face. They had an aroma that tickled the mare’s nose with their familiarity.
Then she knew. Even before she heard the voice, it all became clear.
“Honey,” Blue cooed. “Are you well?”
Honey stirred, humming softly as she finally found the wherewithal to open her eyes. Most of her peripheral vision was obscured by bountiful mounds of breast flesh, but her vision was focused squarely on the soft smile and loving eyes of the mare staring down at her. Confirming where she was, Honey kicked a little in the open air until her hooves finally returned to their rightful place. She held her position, though, finding the feeling to alluring to abandon easily.
“Fine,” she exhaled in exhaustion. Now that the adrenaline had fallen, she was able to think clearly and fully understand the ramifications of her position.
Blue’s grin twisted a little, replacing kindness with a mad tyrant’s evil. “Then… you yield?” She tightened her grip around Honey’s back for emphasis.
Honey returned the gestured, wrapping her arms around Blue’s back and pulling deeper into the embrace. That would have been answer enough, but there was more she wished to say. Mindful that they still had an audience, she whispered, “Did ya’ll make yerself taller?”
Blue averted her gaze and hummed an unfamiliar tune.
“In all fairness, I have been this tall for some time. ‘Tis your fault for not noticing.”
Honey chuckled. “Can’t argue that.” And she let her hands fall south. Her palms curved over the blue mare’s bulging backside and she treated herself to a playful squeeze. “Big.”
“Big?” Blue’s tone was wary and warning.
“Yeah. Big and full.”
“And is that all you have to say?”
The two were speaking so quietly that most of the spectators couldn’t hear what was being said. Those that could were clueless about the context. Still, most were able to infer from the mares’ body language what this was all about, and waited patiently for the smaller – yet still obscenely tall – mare to admit her defeat.
“That…” Honey paused for dramatic tension, her expression the very picture of ‘hold my beer.’ “‘N’ still big enough ta smother anypony he-GUH!” Her words were cut short when a hand pressed the back of her head into its new, boobelicious prison.
“I am done playing,” Blue announced haughtily. She planted her fists on her hips in an ‘I’m done with this’ gesture, pulled her shoulders back, and pulled her chest up high. Honey’s hooves were pulled from the ground and began to frantically kick as they dangled. Honey tried releasing Blue’s back in the hopes of using her hands to force herself free, but to no avail.
As far as the spectators could tell, the earth mare had been effectively suspended by nothing more than a pair of breasts, without any outside interference.
“You lost, now admit it,” Blue commanded sternly. Honey answered by pushing even harder against the bigger mare’s bosom, but they would not give. “Yield, lest I have to take you home like this and have your herd force your compliance!”
Honey’s screams were muffled. She wanted to call out Blue for resorting to such dirty tactics, but couldn’t say a word. Besides the obvious reason, she had technically initiated the foul play by failing to submit after her clear defeat. If Blue did end up going to Honey’s house, and if she ended up passing out from lack of air along the way, none would sympathize, for she was so obviously in the wrong. Eventually, Honey managed to swallow her pride and go limp. “Ah pheal,” was all any could hear.
Grinning in triumph, Blue set Honey back on her hooves and opened her boob cage enough for her prisoner to speak. “Yes?”
“Ah yield! Happy?”
“Very!” Blue released Honey fully, arms out and ready to catch her just in case.
Honey staggered a second, but quickly righted herself a short distance from her victorious opponent. Seeing the question coming in Blue’s expression, she figured she might as well head it off. “Biggest, purtiest plot in the land,” she boasted. “Big enough ta eclipse the sun, but that just means there’s more ta love.”
Blue looked mostly pleased, but motioned for more.
Honey heaved a defeated sigh and rolled her eyes. “‘N’ definitely ain’t fat.”
That got a chuckle out of their audience. Some were even whispering about how they’d figured from the start that this spat was over something petty. Others countered that such a dispute was the furthest thing possible from petty and that it was good that the squabbling pair resolved things so quickly. The squabblers weren’t really listening though. They’d gone over to a nearby tree and didn’t even notice when the crowd began to disperse. They had other, more pressing issues.
Blue had fallen to her knees. Her hands hung limply by her side as she stared in a mix of horror and disbelief. Honey’s reaction was less reserved, with her fists shaking in righteous anger. The earth mare quelled her thirst for vengeance when she saw Blue’s distraught expression and tried to offer comfort. Words failed, though. What words could possibly ameliorate this terrible tragedy? This was every collector’s worst nightmare made manifest.
The birds, the ones that had been awakened from their peaceful sleep, had pooped themselves in fright. And the bags beneath the tree, the ones carrying the precious books, were completely covered.
“NOOO!” Blue cried in defiance to the heavens. “It should have been me-he-he!” She doubled over, pressing her face into the grass and smashing her fist into the ground. Each blow unleashed a tremor of similar intensity to that which had caused this mess, although the birds had long since fled.
“It’s okay, sugar,” Honey cooed softly and wrapped the larger mare up in her mighty arms. “Ah know. Ah know. Jus’ let it all out.”
And Blue wept into her beloved’s arms. She cried anger and sorrow in equal measure. Although she had not had them long, these books had already become something special in her heart. They were more than just an archive of a story that had pushed her to the edge of her perverbial seat. They were tokens, mementoes of the first night spent with this mare with whom she intended to spend the next few decades with. They’d traded blows, barbs, and interests. Without question, this had been a night the blue mare knew she’d remember forever. And now with this tragedy to top it all off, she could only hope that her bond with this wonderful, beautiful, and headstrong mare would only deepen.
A stallion cleared his throat. “Um, excuse me?”
“What do you want?” Honey asked more venomously than she’d intended. “Sorry. Sorry. Jus’… a little emotional right now,” she sobbed. “What is it?”
The stallion nodded and hopped nervously from hoof to hoof. “I um…”
Honey’s patience was wearing thin. If this stranger had something to say, then he should just spit it out and be done with it. He probably wanted to tell them to get lost for causing a scene or something. But Honey managed to swallow her anger enough to see through teary eyes that this stallion was holding something. It was a tall thing that covered most of his chest and required both hands to hold. Curious, Honey wiped her eyes clean for a better look. Her jaw dropped so fast that it almost dislocated.
“I, uh…” Once more the stallion attempted to use words as he cradled the precious thing in his arms. “You know what? Screw it. I had a feeling something like this might happen, so I decided to take them for protection. Here.” He held out the treasure.
“L-Luna,” Honey stuttered.
The green mare’s slip was enough to rouse Blue from her sobbing stupor. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were stained from the tears. She sniffled, searched for what had disturbed Honey so, and then her eyes nearly popped right out of her skull. “A-are those…”
The stallion nodded.
“Our books!” Blue and Honey cheered as one. They tackled the stallion to the ground and peppered him with kisses, words of gratitude, and other shows of affection. He fought at first, but he was a skinny thing compared to the much more powerful mares, and surrendered to his fate with a goofy grin. Once they’d finished showing how thankful they were, Blue and Honey decided that there was still plenty of moonlight left and that they should make the most of the remaining night, especially after their close call with heartbreak. They left.
“Are you going to move?” asked a mare. She wore a pink skirt with white frills and a red jacket. Her words were directed at the stallion still lying on the ground.
The skinny stallion made a sound like he was in serious thought, all while staring intently up the mare’s skirt. She rolled her eyes at him. He finally answered with a firm, “Nope.”
The mare rolled her eyes and planted her hands on her hips. “And why is that?”
“Pretty sure my back is broken,” the stallion replied in good cheer. “Probably happened when the green one hugged me.”
The mare’s expression shifted from bemusement to alarm. “A-are you sure?”
“Well, I can’t feel anything from my neck down, and there’s this itch on my nose that I can’t seem to scratch.” He wiggled his snout for emphasis. “Feel free to call a med-evac whenever.”
“Uh, right!” The mare pulled a communication crystal from her jacket pocket and gave it a squeeze, informing her commander what had transpired. “Don’t worry,” she assured, kneeling down beside him. “They’ll be here in just a few minutes. You’ll be right as rain before you know it.”
“Thanks, but I’m more grateful I remembered to numb myself before approaching those two,” the stallion informed casually. “Can’t feel a thing!”
“That’s some frightening foresight,” the mare admitted.
“Say, since I got injured in the line of duty, do you think they’ll give me a purple heart?”
The mare looked taken aback for a second after such a ludicrous suggestion, but then chuckled.
“I hope they don’t consider this mission classified,” he continued. “Getting the Princess to kiss me after I saved her from sorrow is exactly the sort of story I want to tell my grandfoals when I get old.”
“You’re awful,” the mare laughed.
“And I’m soon to be the envy of the entire division,” the stallion boasted, emphasizing his point with an eyebrow wiggle. “Beat that.”
Walking down the streets of Canterlot with her friend, Moonlight felt naked. Granted, she wasn’t wearing anything, but the absence of her armor was still noticeable and brought a slight chill to her fur. This was probably a symptom of always being decked out in full gear whenever she went out. She felt a little self-conscious, wondering if other pedestrians were looking at her. That, in turn, made her question if she had anything worth looking at. She knew these were silly thoughts, but they refused to be shaken easily. Eventually she felt there was no choice but to break the silence. “Was there anything in particular you wanted to do?”
“No ideas?”
Moonlight shrugged. “I can’t say I’ve ever been much of a socialite. Usually I relied on friends and family to get my butt out and about. Otherwise I’d just stay in and either read or train.”
“Those could be fun.”
“Yes, but I was hoping we could try something a little more… more.”
“More what?”
“I don’t know, but it definitely isn’t any boring homebody stuff. You’re Surprise,” Moonlight said as though it were some profound revelation. “I figured I could just follow your lead and fun would eventually find us.”
“Hmm. True,” Surprise affirmed. “Fun does like to stalk me. I’d get a restraining order, but I’m worried that might escalate things.”
Moonlight chuckled. “See. That right there is what I’m hoping for. Something spontaneous to get me out of my shell.”
“So, you’re just using me to have a good time?”
Moonlight eyed Surprise warily, uncertain if this was some kind of joke or not. “Um, kind of?”
“Okay. Cool. Let us away to the fun!” The pegasus shot out her fist in cheer and bolted forward. “Onwards!”
Moonlight grinned, easily keeping pace with her fuller figured friend. “Yeah! Onwards! Where, exactly?”
“To the library!”
Moonlight tripped a little, but quickly caught back up. “The library? Really?”
“Mmh hmm.”
“Uh, okay,” Moonlight allowed, deciding to follow through and trust in Surprise’s lead.
At the library, Surprise immediately headed for the foal section. It was distinguished from the rest of the isles with relatively shorter shelves, bright colored pictures on the walls, and a large quantity of beanbags. In speaking to the assistant librarian, they learned that the pony who had volunteered to do the reading for story time had canceled last minute. The rest of the library staff were all either too busy with other errands or had been rejected by the foals on previous occasions for ‘sounding weird.’ And just letting one of the foals’ parents do the reading was out of the question, on account of prior incidents where said parents got a little… competitive.
“We’ll do it,” Surprise volunteered.
“We?”
“Yeah. Reading to foals is fun. Plus you’re a writer, so this is kind of like practice.”
Moonlight smiled flatly. “Okay, I’m not protesting, because I do want to give this a chance, but I just want you to know there’s a big difference between reading and writing something new.”
Surprise nodded. “Good point. You read, and I’ll act out the parts.”
“What?”
“Come on.” Surprise grabbed Moonlight by the wrist and practically dragged her to the reading spot. “Don’t keep the foals waiting!”
Moonlight was dragged along through the aisles of short shelves before her naked butt was promptly planted on one of the bean bags resting against the wall. The sign above read ‘Story Corner’ and the area in front was filled with smaller seating cushions. Each cushion had a foal. Each foal – of whatever tribe, color, or sex – was staring intently up at her. Behind them were a few adults – the foals’ parents – who eyed the orange mare warily. Moonlight was starting to feel self-conscious again.
“Hey there, kiddoes!” Surprise greeted exuberantly as she cartwheeled up to Moonlight. She then jumped in the air, performed a few flips, and landed beside the orange mare. Contact with the floor caused her body to bounce and jiggle in all the right places. Her legs were spread out wide. One hand was on her hip while the other stretched out to make a heroic V. She even turned her head slightly to wink at the audience. “My name’s Surprise. And this is Moonlight.”
“Hi, Surprise and Moonlight,” the foals greeted back, giggling and cheering at the pegasus’ antics.
“Sorry that your regular reader couldn’t make it, but don’t worry. The dashing Moonlight-” Her body was as animated as her words. She bent down on one knee as the other stretched out behind her. One hand partially covered her face while the other also stretched out behind her, making a *whoosh* for added dramatic flare. “-and the daring Surprise-” Her posing shifted almost instantaneously. Now standing upright, she hunched over a little and flexed her arms beneath her chest, deepening her voice while showing off a surprising level of muscle definition. “-have emerged from the shadows-” She spun on her tippy hoof like a ballerina a couple times before coming to an abrupt halt and turning her back on the audience. She bent over, far enough that her head could probably have touched her knees, with her arms stretched out wide with her open palms shaking like jazz hands. Her tail was moved to the side, but not lifted, because that would have been inappropriate. This gave her audience an unobstructed view of her beaming face. “-to save story time!”
Moonlight marveled at Surprise’s animated gesturing. Demonstrating so many poses in such rapid succession, and all without appearing winded, was just like something out of the cheesier comics she’d read back when she was little. No wonder several foals asked if Surprise was a ‘really for real’ super hero.
Surprise shushed them loud enough that everypony in the foals’ section could probably hear. “Not so loud. I must protect my secret identity.”
“But you’re not wearing a mask,” a foal pointed out.
“I’m hiding in plain sight,” Surprise explained in a stage whisper. “No pony expects a super hero to do her super heroing without a mask. It’s the ultimate disguise.”
The foals whispered between themselves and seemed to accept this reasoning.
Moonlight was in awe of the white mare’s expert handling of so many youngsters. She made a note to ask her about her friend’s secret at a later time.
Surprise gestured and a librarian who had been watching from the side stepped forward. She looked just as awed as Moonlight and the parents, but handed over the evening’s book. “For tonight, we’ll be reading ‘Hop Along the Frog,’” she introduced, making sure to show everypony the cover. “I used to love this book when I was little.”
“Me too,” a foal piped up.
“You were little?” another inquired incredulously.
Surprise just nodded patiently to each of them. “I remember it like it was yesterday. Which is why for tonight, your reader will be my assistant, Moonlight!”
Moonlight’s blood ran cold. She’d been so caught up with Surprise animated actions that she’d completely forgotten the plan that she – come to think of it – hadn’t actually agreed to. She opened her mouth to say as much. The foals clearly loved Surprise more, and she obviously knew what she was doing. Aside from helping take care of her young siblings, Moonlight barely knew anything about foals or how to keep them entertained.
This wasn’t a retreat, though. Moonlight wasn’t backing out because of cowardice. That was the last thing she’d ever do. This was simply a case where, as the ranking officer, she was making the decision for a strategic withdrawal before the operation went FUBAR.
“Here you go,” Surprise said happily and handed Moonlight the book.
The operation just went FUBAR.
“Come on, Moony!” Surprise cheered, anchoring her orange friend back in reality. “Didn’t you read this one when you were little, too?”
Did I? Moonlight questioned. What books had she read when she was little? Had she ever been as little as the little ponies looking so expectantly up at her? What even was reading? Wait… yes. Yes! “Yes! I did!” She’d indeed read this book before. It was all coming back to her.
Surprise, for the first time since entering the library, looked just a little bit serious. She whispered quietly enough that their audience couldn’t hear. “You up for this?”
That question would have been a lot more appreciated if it had come, say, ten minutes earlier. However, Moonlight was certain that Surprise wasn’t the manipulative type. She just got a little carried away with her ideas. Besides that, she’d already given Surprise full permission to get her out of her comfort zone. Reading to foals certainly fit that criterion. She mouthed ‘we’ll talk later,’ to which Surprise nodded fervently. But for now, they had an audience to entertain.
Like most books for especially young foals, this one was about 90% illustration with mostly one line sentences in big lettering at the top or to one side. Moonlight began. “Hop Along was a little frog in a little pond.” Her narration began slowly and carefully. She flipped the book around to show her audience the green frog with brown spots sitting alone on a lily pad in the middle of a pond. The foals awed at the stylistic illustration and Moonlight felt just a little pleased with herself for enthralling her audience so quickly.
“Ribbit, ribbit,” Surprise ribbited. She crouched down to all fours, knees bent in prime hopping position and cheeks puffed out between croaks. She looked very froggish, and the foals giggled as she made little hops around her partner and co-conspirator.
“Hop Along had a house made of reeds,” Moonlight continued. She flipped to the next page and showed the illustration of the inside of the reed house. “Hop Along had furniture made of mud and sticks.” She gestured to the different items around the little domicile, digging deep and recalling her own experiences with readers. “See that. He’s got a little chair.”
Surprise quickly snatched up a chair from a nearby table that was too small for her, squatted down, and ribbited. The foals laughed, and she ribbited back with an oblivious froglike expression.
“And he’s got a little bed.”
Surprise threw together some unused sitting cushions into a makeshift bed and mimed sleeping. *Snore* “Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit.” *Snore* “Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit.”
Starting to feel just a tiny bit jealous of Surprise hogging all the attention, Moonlight decided to step up her game. “And what else does he have?” she asked, pointing around the picture. “What’s this?”
“A bed post!” the foals cheered.
“Library voices,” Moonlight chided gently. The foals just giggled while covering their mouths.
Squatting down, Surprise was wagging her finger at her audience and ribbited.
“And what’s this?” Moonlight asked. “Is this Hop Along’s kitchen?”
“No,” the foals chorused. They disharmoniously corrected that it was a book shelf and looked quite pleased with their demonstration of smartness.
Surprise, after somehow putting all of her props back without anypony noticing, grabbed a book and pretended to read. She was still squatting and still ribbiting.
Moonlight heard a few of the parents whispering how good these new readers were and sat up a little straighter. Nothing bolstered a performance like an immediate ego boost.
And so the story went with Moonlight guiding the foals through a day in the life of Hop Along. Hop Along met with his froggy, fishy, and beavery friends. They ate flies and wood together, which the foals found amusingly gross. They explored the Mysterious Log of Mysteries, a mysterious and foreboding log that no frog had ever explored. The foals were really on the edge of their seats for that one, and all let out sighs of relief when it turned out to be the home of nice old Mrs. Salamander, the salamander. She baked them pond cookies. When asked, Moonlight told the foals that they were made of mud and sticks, like everything else in the pond. And so on and so forth until Hop Along, exhausted from his busy day, returned home for a well-earned sleep.
When the cheering got too loud, Surprise urged the foals to ribbit instead. This was still loud, but less so than before, especially with the parents ribbiting along with them. When all had settled, the white and orange mares were thanked profusely by the foals and parents, earning hugs and handshakes respectively. The librarians looked especially pleased. After being informed that each of the foals had checked out a minimum of four books – mostly frog themed – the pair was asked to come back whenever they liked to do some more reading.
“That was… great!” Moonlight tittered as she and her friend departed.
“Was there ever any doubt?”
“Lots, actually. But it was so worth it.”
“Hehe. Yeah. I could tell you were really getting into it.”
“Look who’s talking,” Moonlight replied with a playful hip check. “That was some pretty slick dancing you did.”
“Aw, shucks.” Surprise waved bashfully.
“I mean it. I was laughing so hard it was honestly a little hard to keep reading.”
“But you persevered,” Surprise stated resolutely. “You tried something new, didn’t wuss out, and had a great time.”
Moonlight snorted brashly. “As if I’d ever wuss out.”
“Of course you wouldn’t,” Surprise allowed, although her tone suggested she wasn’t buying Moonlight’s posturing. “But you still had fun, right?”
Moonlight chuckled. “I think it helps when you’re audience is still counting with their fingers.”
“Don’t put yourself down like that. It’s not healthy,” Surprise chided. “Also incorrect. Lots of folks think all it takes to keep a foal entertained is some pretty colors and some dangling keys, but it’s lazy and dumb to treat foals like that. You gotta put in the effort to really get them engaged, which you did. You opened a dialogue with them and got them into the story. That’s the difference between reading to somepony and reading at them.”
Moonlight smiled and softly bumped hips with her larger friend. “Well, I said I wanted something fun and out of my comfort zone. Consider this mission accomplished.”
Surprise playfully saluted. “Yeah. Now it’s your turn.”
“… wat?”
“Your turn. I chose the last thing. Now you have to pick something fun for us to do.”
Moonlight considered protesting, of coming up with some kind of excuse, but reasoned any resistance would ultimately be futile. The trip spontaneous to the library was evidence enough that Surprise was not a mare to be underestimated. Once more she was put on the spot, only this time it wasn’t in front of an audience. A part of her wanted to get Surprise back for that, to set something up where she would be put on the spot and potentially humiliated, but that thought was short lived. Besides, being needlessly mean to a pony who seemed to have no ulterior motive other than making others happy was just cruel. Moonlight felt daunted by the mere idea of crafting a situation that would overwhelm Surprise while keeping control.
Moving on to more plausible thoughts, Moonlight considered, and immediately dismissed the idea of anything athletic. They already went to the gym all the time, so doing anything similar felt too much like violating her earlier desire of being less of a home body. The whole point was to step out of her shell, but that was so much easier when somepony else was helping to find places outside the shell that felt safe. She thought and she thought, struggling to come up with an activity that might satisfy her arbitrary and self-imposed criteria, and then she saw it.
“How about that?”
Surprise turned to look in the direction Moonlight was pointing. There was a line of ponies stretching well down the sidewalk and into a building. The ponies looked rather unclean, many were wearing rags, and Surprise could practically smell them from here. They huddled together, their expressions sullen, but many were putting on what the white mare instantly recognized as brave faces for the sake of their friends and family. The sign above read ‘Fair’s Hope’. Surprise blinked a few times as she processed the great tragedy of what she was looking at.
“Want to volunteer for a-?”
“Yes!” Surprise cut her friend off, grabbed her by the wrist, and began a determined march to the building.
Moonlight smiled, glad that her friend was so eager, but wasn’t all that surprised. Even so, this had been her idea, so she quickly pulled the larger mare back to take the lead herself. Surprise gave no protest. They went up to the pony standing at the entrance with his arms folded. He was big for a unicorn, with intimidating sunglasses, bulging biceps, and a weightlifting cutie mark. The bouncer – for there was nothing else he could be called – turned to face the approaching mares, his eyes unseen and his expression hard as stone.
“Excuse me,” Moonlight greeted politely, completely unfazed by the stallion’s demeanor. Even with his eyes unseen, she could tell by his other features that she was being sized up as a potential threat. “Where do we go to volunteer?”
The big stallion stared back at the mares, silent as if in deep thought. He contemplated the mares a good few more seconds before jerking his fist up. Neither mare flinched. He pointed with his thumb and said, “Side door around back.” His voice was gruff and gravely. “Ask for Fair Shake. She’ll give you something to do.”
“Thank you,” Moonlight said with a polite nod.
Surprise skipped up to the big stallion, well within his personal space. He tensed defensively, but the smaller mare gave no notice. “You’re a good guy,” she said before lifting herself up and planting a kiss on his cheek.
Moonlight tensed, ready for the bouncer to do as bouncers do, but he didn’t. He just kept standing there, looking as stern and indifferent as ever. Surprise concluded her kiss and playfully hopped away, smiling appreciatively to the stallion. He gave her a small, almost imperceptible nod before turning away. Then the mares left.
“What was that for?” Moonlight demanded once they were out of earshot.
“What was what for?”
“Why’d you kiss him like that?”
“I don’t know. How should I have kissed him?”
“Why’d you do it at all?”
“‘Cause he’s doing a nice thing,” Surprise answered plainly. “Seems like he’s earned that much.”
“What if he thought you were attacking?” Moonlight insisted. “He’d have been in the right if he defended himself.”
“It’s fine. I could tell that he could tell we weren’t there to cause any trouble.”
Moonlight pursed her lips, uncertain if she was emotionally prepared to glimpse into Surprise’s way of knowing. “That was still reckless.”
“But it was the right thing to do.”
“… I guess so,” Moonlight said with a chuckle, accepting her defeat.
Around the corner and down the alley was another door. It opened up to a kind of lobby with ponies running around and shouting like a swarm of tardy bees. “I need this.” “Get that.” “Who’s here?” “How long will that take?” At the center of it all was a gray earth mare in a green jacket with a bell and a pot of bits on her flanks.
Moonlight raised her hand and attempted to speak over the organized chaos. “Excuse me. We’re looking for Fair Shake.”
“Well, you found her,” the gray mare answered distractedly while speaking to another pony. “If she’s not here now, then we’ll just call her absent. That’s not going to be good for her parole,” she grumbled as the other pony nodded and disappeared into another room. “Yes, you two,” she barked. “Here to volunteer?”
Moonlight straightened up and saluted. Surprise followed her lead as they both acknowledged, “Sir, yes sir!”
Recognizing that this action was genuine and not in mockery, Fair smiled appreciatively. “Alright then. Some military discipline might be exactly what we need right now. Soup line’s covered and the kitchen’s already full.” She glanced at both mares’ cutie marks. “I’ve already got Able at the door to ward off trouble makers. What can you do?”
“Need anything picked up?” Moonlight asked. “I can’t teleport, but I’m a fast runner.”
“I can sew,” Surprise added. “But I think what those ponies really need is-”
“Sewing is fine,” Fair cut in hurriedly and pointed down the hall. “Two doors to the left is where we keep donated blankets. You’ll be working with Stitch to make sure they’re all decent before sending them to laundry. And you.” With one hand pointed at Moonlight, Fair used her other to fish through her jacket’s inner pockets for a slip of paper, which she proceeded to scribble on. “You and Scamper here,” she gestured to a lanky earth pony, “take this invoice to this address. Know where it is?”
Moonlight read the hastily written directions and nodded.
“Then what are you waiting for? Get your ass in gear, soldier!”
Moonlight’s inner boot camp trainee kicked in and she flew out the door in a flash, with the stallion hot on her hooves. Surprise, assuming the order to have been directed at the both of them, hurried down the hall.
“You’re new here,” Scamper said as he jogged alongside Moonlight. He had dark brown fur with a gust of wind on his bare flank. “Name’s Scamper.” He extended his hand.
Smiling, Moonlight accepted the gesture with a hearty shake. “Moonlight Shield, and yes. Just sort of a spur-of-the-moment thing, you know.”
“Not really. Pretty unusual for somepony to see a bunch of homeless ponies and not just ignore or throw money at them.”
Moonlight grimaced at the harsh truth. “Well, I’ve found myself in a lot of unusual circumstances lately, so I figured I’d just keep up the trend.”
Scamper grinned. “Sounds fun.”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”
“So, you’re a guard, right?” asked Scamper as the pair of them effortlessly maneuvered through the pedestrians.
“What gave me away?”
“Don’t know. Probably the saluting thing. I didn’t laugh, so it was pretty convincing.”
Moonlight chuckled. “Just so we’re clear, you’re here to keep an eye on me, right?”
Scamper nodded and took another look at the invoice. “Depending on how much you can lift, looks like a two pony job anyway, but yeah. It’s just kitchen supplies, so you wouldn’t exactly make much hocking it, but we gotta be wary of new faces. You understand.”
“I do. So what about you?”
“Me? Nothing much to tell. I’m actually a courier by trade. Ponies get me to deliver packages they don’t trust the postal service to handle.”
Moonlight’s ears stood at attention. “Doesn’t exactly sound legal.”
“It’s not illegal either,” Scamper retorted smugly.
Moonlight decided not to pursue the issue. As shady as the job sounded, Scamper was right that there weren’t actually any laws against what he did. Besides, given that the guy was volunteering at a homeless shelter, she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Fair enough. So what brought you to that place, anyway?”
“Part of my parole. Guards caught me with some, shall we say, less than honorably acquired merchandise.”
“You mean stolen.”
“Hey, I didn’t ask. Don’t get paid if you ask. Anyway, they slapped me with community service in lieu of jail time.”
Moonlight regarded the stallion more carefully. If this was part of a court order, then Fair would most certainly have been informed as the shelter’s apparent boss. She trusted a convicted thief with package delivery? Was this out of desperation or a lapse of judgement? Or maybe there was more to the story. “How much time is left for your sentence?”
“Eh. About three years ago.”
Moonlight blinked. “Three years? Did you-”
“Get caught again? Nope,” Scamper bragged. “Guards know my face, so I gotta be more careful.”
Moonlight did not care for his word choice. It had implications. “Then…?”
“It just feels good to help folks, you know,” he answered plainly. “I never had much growing up, but at least I was able to take care of myself. Lots of folks ain’t that lucky.”
Moved, Moonlight smiled fondly at the young stallion. It warmed her heart to hear such a genuine story of redemption. While her inner skeptic warned her not to be so trusting, it would be too easy to challenge this claim once they got back to the shelter. And given that he knew that she was a guard, it seemed unlikely that he’d try anything with her around. The truth seemed like the simplest explanation.
“Plus it helps keep the guards off my back,” Scamper continued with a shit-eating-grin. “So that’s always a plus.”
**********
“You know, I’m pleasantly surprised.”
“About what?” Stitch asked. The yellow unicorn with a spool on her flank kept her head down and eyes on her work as she guided the needle and thread through the fabrics.
“These blankets aren’t all that bad.” Surprise held up the sheet of fabric to better examine the patch she’d just added. “Hardly any big holes, and most even look brand new.”
“Agreed,” Stitch replied distractedly. “Most of the time we’re used as a waste bin. Ponies give us what they’d otherwise throw away so they can have an excuse to feel good about themselves, but lately we’ve been getting some quality material. Here.” She levitated over a pile of sheets. “I checked and these are all in good condition. Take them over to laundry, will you.”
“Can do,” Surprise agreed cheerfully and took the pile in hand. Outside was as busy as ever with ponies running every which way and shouting about something or other. Lots of shortages by the sound of it, which made sense. Places like these relied primarily on charity, which wasn’t always the most dependable source of income, unfortunately. Topically, Surprise passed a room with a pony hunched over and typing away at a typewriter with an abacus to one side, no doubt performing the arduous task of balancing the budget for this place.
“Excuse me.”
“Yeah,” the budget mare answered distractedly. “What d’ya want?”
“I think you need this.”
Before the other mare could ask what ‘this’ was, Surprise had already materialized beside her. The budget mare looked a bit perturbed at having been interrupted in the middle of her work and was ready to chew out this very rude pegasus. However, she held her tongue at the sight of the white mare’s oddly disarming smile. She pulled back at first when the pegasus leaned down, but gave no resistance when a warm and friendly kiss was planted on her cheek.
“Thanks a lot,” Surprise said. “I can tell you’re working hard. And even if no pony says it, which they should, you’re really helping us out. Ponies like you are the unseen heroes who keep places like this afloat. Even if you don’t get to see the smiles of those you help, your number crunching makes sure they all have roofs over their heads and food in their bellies.”
The budget mare blinked her confusion before turning away with a blush. “Uh… thanks,” she mumbled.
“You deserve it,” Surprise replied chipperly, pivoted around on her hoof, and departed.
Afterwards, the budget mare straightened her back a little. She was mindful not to hunch over as much, and resumed her work with a renewed determination. Although she already knew how important her role was to this place, it was nice to receive some acknowledgement.
Surprise repeated this action for just about everypony she came across. For anypony who looked to have caught a bad case of the gloomies, she was there to offer a hug, a kiss, a kind word, but mostly a combination of the three if she could afford to. To the ponies who were in the biggest hurry, she’d just shout her gratitude for their hard work in helping make these lives better. And for the ponies caught idling and seemingly not taking their work too seriously, she had some extra special words.
“I’m really glad you’re here.”
“Uh, what?” answered one of the three contemptable teens leaning against the wall. With their excessive amount of piercings and skull-themed tattoos, they were the very picture of delinquency. Few who saw them could reach any conclusion other than they had all been assigned here as part of a court order, a penalty for some crime committed. It might even seem normal to respond to such callous shirking of responsibility with open disdain, to scold them, to answer their contempt with even more contempt. However, no pony had ever accused Surprise of being normal.
“It’s hard work keeping a place like this a float. I know it might not seem glamorous to wash clothes or clean the halls,” Surprise gestured to the cleaning materials sitting idle near the trio. “But it still counts. Ponies who might otherwise have to sleep in the streets get to know what it’s like to have nice and soft sheets and floors that aren’t dirtier than dirt roads. It’s those little moments of happiness that make all the bad stuff in life seem not so bad. And knowing this is being done for them by ponies acting out of the goodness of their hearts.” She sniffled happily. “That just makes it all the better, don’t you thing?”
The teens dropped their aggressive and dismissive posturing, lowering their eyes in guilt. The litany of snappy comebacks they’d been preparing for such a confrontation all died in their throats, never to see the light of day. Ultimately, they couldn’t bring themselves to say anything at all.
“Come’ere,” Surprise demanded. The three teens saw her coming, but didn’t react fast enough. She’d already enveloped them within her embrace and pulled them against her vast, soft, and comforting bosom. She squeezed hard, because that was how you were supposed to show you cared, and then let them drop. “Keep up the good work guys.” And she departed.
The teens stared awkwardly at each other for a time, uncertain of what to say. Remembering their supplies, they each went for a sponge, mop, and broom and got back to work. They tried complaining about how lame this place was as punishment, but their hearts just weren’t in it anymore, so other topics of discussion were chosen.
All of these detours meant that Surprise took a bit longer going back and forth from the laundry and sewing rooms. Thankfully Stitch just chalked it up to her still learning the layout of the place and so didn’t chastise her too much. However, Stitch did start looking up more often after Surprise marked each return to the sewing room with a friendly embrace.
***
Moonlight and Scamper picked up the packages and divided the load between themselves. Their speed on the return trip was slowed by the added weight, but not by much. When they returned, Fair was impressed at the good time they made and sent them out for another delivery.
“I think I’ve just been type casted,” Moonlight thought out loud.
“What’s that?”
“It’s where an actor gets associated with a certain kind of role and so can only find work in that role. It’s sort of like how Fair said she didn’t need anypony guarding the door after she saw my cutie mark. She didn’t need an extra guard, so now I’m stuck literally running errands,” she explained with a contented grin.
“Ah. Makes sense. I’ve always been pretty good at running, so I’m good with this.”
“I don’t mind, though. Physical activity feels good, and it’s for a good cause.” Sure I failed to avoid physical exertion, but who cares. This is still fine.
“Speaking of physical activity,” Scamper began leadingly.
Moonlight sighed. “Do I really have to say my work as a concubine is confidential?”
“Hey, you’re the one who brought it up,” Scamper replied defensively. “Can’t blame a guy for being curious, especially about something like that. I mean, that’s probably the biggest shared fantasy in the country; right up there with being super rich.”
Moonlight allowed herself a chuckle. “Maybe. Still, I can’t say anything.”
“What about that mare you came with? Surprise?”
“She’ll probably talk your head off, just not about the parts you’re hoping for.”
“Bummer. I was really hoping to know what Princess Celestia’s like up close.”
“Celestia?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Oh no. I know Celestia. I mean, I don’t know-know her, not as well as I used to, but…” Moonlight made a popping sound with her mouth as she worked to unjumble her thoughts. “I used to visit Celestia a lot when I was little, but I’m actually Luna’s concubine.”
“Princess Luna!?” Scamper exclaimed, gob smacked.
At Scamper’s tone of surprise, Moonlight braced herself to rebuke any sort of malicious rumor or rude statement he might utter.
“That’s even better! She’s easily the second prettiest Princess.”
“… Second?”
“Obviously Princess Cadence gets the gold on this one. I mean, she’s literally the Princess of Love. The game’s basically rigged in her favor.”
“We can agree to disagree,” Moonlight allowed cordially. “Although I haven’t really spent enough time with her to know what she’s like.”
“Do you know how lucky that jackass Shining Armor is for marrying her?”
“I can guess very lucky.”
“Sort of makes a guy worry. If all his luck is being put into marrying a goddess, what if the rest of his life tries to balance things out, you know?”
“I’m pretty sure life only punishes you for your ill deeds,” Moonlight countered. “If anything, Cadence is probably a reward for his exceptional service. Or maybe Shining’s the reward for all Cadence does?”
Scamper scoffed. “It’s probably the abs. Mares dig a stallion with abs.”
“It doesn’t hurt.”
**********
“Your friends sound lovely,” Stitch concluded after hearing Surprise’s tale. Since the fourth laundry run, the unicorn had opened up enough to start chatting more casually with the white pegasus. “You’re one lucky mare.”
“I don’t know about lucky, but I’m definitely privileged to have so many great ponies in my life,” replied Surprise as she labored to fix the holes in the fabrics.
“Well, I can at least say they’re just as privileged to have you in theirs.”
“Oh stop.”
“I wouldn’t go throwing around any false modesty when Fair is around. She prefers it when everypony gets exactly what they deserve, and the least you deserve is credit for giving us your time.”
“I’m just happy to help. That’s really all there is to it.”
Stitch, after studying the other mare’s expression, decided it wasn’t worth the fight. Surprise seemed genuine enough. She’d stepped out of the sewing room a few times to check on a few things, only to find the mood of the shelter had practically flipped. Ponies were still in as much of a hurry, but they seemed less tired. Something had brought the pep back in their step, and the unicorn had a sneaking suspicion she knew who the culprit was. “Well, I’m glad you decided to pay us a visit. Helping out a shelter isn’t normally a spontaneous kind of thing.”
“Well I like it. This place is so lively. I might just make this a regular thing. Maybe I can even get the others to join me.”
Stitch blinked. “By others, do you mean…?”
“My friends in the harem!”
“So, all of them?” Stitch asked warily, her mind racing with certain possibilities.
“Sure thing. Me, and Silver, and Moon, and-”
“The P-Princess?”
Surprise thought this over a moment and gave a shrug. “Sure. I don’t see why not.”
“R-really?”
“Well, she’d probably come in disguise, just to keep the tabloids off her butt. Or maybe she won’t. Ooooh! I’ll bet a Princess taking time to do charity might actually be good publicity! Or maybe not.” Surprise trailed off in thought. “I guess I’ll just have to tell her and see what she’s willing to do, but she’s definitely coming in disguise at least once.”
Stitch, uncertain of how to respond to the prospect of royalty gracing this establishment, just nodded. “Well, whatever their station, it’s not like we’re going to turn away an eager volunteer. And even if she isn’t coming as a Princess, her seeing what its like for the underclass will probably do plenty of good in the long run.”
“Exactly. Luna’s super nice. I’m sure you’ll love her.”
“Then… I guess I’m looking forward to meeting her.”
Given that they were walk-ins and didn’t go through the usual channels of volunteering, Moonlight and Surprise quickly lost track of time. Had they followed protocol, they’d have signed up for a specific time bracket. However, as things were, there was really no pony to inform them that it was time to go. Only the rumbling of Surprise’s tummy told them that they’d probably done enough for one evening. They said their goodbyes, were informed that they’d always be welcome if they ever had more free time, and decided that catching some fast food would be easier than heading all the way back to the castle.
“This was fun,” Moonlight said, chomping her burger.
“Which part?”
“All of it. This probably sounds bad, but I never pictured a homeless shelter could be so…” Moonlight trailed off, too embarrassed to finish the thought.
“Helping just feels good,” Surprise said as though it were obvious. “I really don’t get what’s so hard to understand about that.”
Moonlight chuckled and took a swig of her drink. “I don’t know, but you’re right. After tonight I feel… refreshed? I guess that’s the word.”
“Spiritually rejuvenated.”
“Okay, I like that better.” Moonlight took another bite and swallowed. “Is that your secret for staying so happy and cheerful all the time?”
“I’d hardly call it a secret,” Surprise said with a dismissive wave. “Although, I guess it’s not as common sense as it probably should be. But never mind that. Tonight we made a difference. We read to foals, sewed up blankets for the homeless-”
“-and made sure the shelter got all their supplies for the next week.”
“The whole week?”
Moonlight puffed out her chest in pride, allowing herself a well-deserved smug grin. “The whole week. Apparently I’m one of the few ponies that can actually keep up with their usual courier. Also, and I have my doubts, but apparently he ‘hardly had to slow down at all’ for me.” She scoffed. “Cocky little twerp.”
Surprise could tell there was no real animosity in Moonlight’s tone, which made her happy to think that her orange friend also made a new friend. “I said I’d tell the others about the shelter. Maybe we can make this a semi-regular thing. I’ll bet Luna’d be especially happy to see some direct results instead of just passing boring laws all night.”
“That’s actually a pretty good idea,” Moonlight praised. “And even if it’s not for her, there’s no harm in trying at least once.”
“So long as she stays out of the kitchen,” Surprise amended.
“This is nice,” Silver said as the updraft from the mountains held her aloft. The night air was nice and cool as it blew across her bristling fur. The air currents up there made her flying senses tingle in a way she hadn’t felt for some time. It all felt pleasant to just stretch her wings out without the need of extra flapping. “I hardly ever go out flying just for the sake of it anymore!” she cheered into the roaring skies.
“Same.” Feeling a little bold, Surprise elected to do a barrel roll next to her wing pony. It cost her a bit of altitude, making her drop more than a dozen meters in just a few seconds, but a few strong flaps were enough to catch back up and the two mares shared a laugh. “Think we might be catching earth pony?”
Silver quirked her brow at the odd phrase.
“It means we’re getting too used to walking.”
“Ah,” Silver replied in amused understanding. “So what does it mean to catch unicorn?”
“Either you’ve got some spare rope, or you’re in love with the smell of your own farts.” The pair shared another laugh at that. “Although personally I’d prefer the rope. We can swoop in like birds of prey, snatch up the unsuspecting ground walkers, and take them back to our evil lairs to commit unspeakable acts upon them! Mwahahaha!”
Silver gasped in shock from Surprise’s remark. How could her friend say something so… uncouth? “We have lairs? No pony told me that.” Her tone was a nearly petulant whine.
“Ugh. They’re in the clouds, silly,” Surprise said as though it were obvious. “We’re fliers, so any random cloud can be our evil lair.”
Silver snorted. “So you mean to tell me that I’ve not only had an evil lair all my life, but I have to share it too?”
“Well you don’t have to share. It’s more of a communal property thing, but we can get you a private little cloud of your very own if you want.”
“Actually, I think I’d like to share, but only for starters. I’ve never managed an evil lair before and I need somepony experienced to show me how things are done.”
“It’d be my pleasure,” Surprise beamed.
“For one thing, how do we keep the ponies we’ve kidnapped from getting away?”
“With the rope, remember?”
“No, I get that part. I am quite confident in the knots I’ve been practicing on Luna.” Through no fault of her own, Silver’s mind took a brief detour to recall her last session with the ropes. She’d improved considerably in tightening the binds around the breasts and lower regions without digging too much into the skin. Just the memory was almost enough to make a mare drool, but that was neither here nor there. “But, what happens once we get them on the cloud? How can we do unspeakable things if all of our time is spent keeping our captives from falling?” She’d already guessed a few answers, but wanted to hear Surprise’s take first.
“Oh Silver,” Surprise sighed, placing a hand sympathetically on the bat’s shoulder as they glided together. “Poor, innocent, naïve little Silver. I said that all clouds are the evil lairs for us fliers. It’s not like there are specialized construction clouds that wingless ponies can walk on all safely. All clouds, without exception, are potential hide-aways for us evil winged ponies to carry out our dastardly deeds.”
“Oh, that makes sense,” Silver allowed, finding it hard to keep the smile off her face. “I never knew having wings would grant me access to so many resources of evil.”
Surprise cleared her throat.
“Oh, sorry. I meant eeevilll!” Silver wrung her hands together as evilly as ponily possible.
Surprise shrugged. “We’ll work on it. For right now, I should probably start your lessons on how a proper evil mare conducts herself.”
Silver felt her chest tightening with excitement. Initially she’d thought that Surprise just wanted to go for a fly, but this sounded much more fun. “Teach me, master.”
“First off, that’s ‘mistress’ to you!” Surprise commanded.
“I probably should have seen that coming.”
“You really should have,” Surprise agreed, speaking normally before resuming her alter ego as the mistress; at least until she thought of a better name. “Anyway, I think the first lesson we should try is stealth.”
“We’re already pretty high up,” Silver noted. The city below sparkled with lights of every sort as ponies scurried about the streets, looking little different from insects at this height. Actually, that’s not bad. “They look like tiny, insignificant bugs from up here! He-he-heee!”
“Much better, but you’re right. At this elevation, ain’t got no pony to worry about but our fellow fliers. But we’re all inducted at birth into a wing supremacy cult, so it’s fine.”
Silver blinked. “You… actually heard that from somepony?” Fun and games was one thing, but it boggled the mind to think that there might actually be tribalists out there with views that absurd.
“Only in good company,” Surprise replied, assuring her friend that if such mentally deficient bigots existed, at least she hadn’t had the misfortune of meeting them. “Anyway, we might be safe at hiding from a distance, but that’s not really stealth.” It seemed important to get Silver’s mind off of such unpleasant thoughts by resuming the game as quickly as possible. “Stealth is all about getting in as close as possible without being seen.”
“Then it would appear that the advantage is mine.” Silver gave her wings an extra powerful flap for emphasis. “My fur is darker, which makes me harder to spot at night.”
“Not in a city with as many lights as Canterlot,” Surprise countered. “Maybe in a place like Ponyville you’d be able to sneak up on unsuspecting ponies to your heart’s content, but things are a lot trickier here.”
“You’re one to talk,” Silver scoffed. “With fur like that, you could only stay camouflaged in a snow storm, which would obscure your presence anyway, so it’s a little redundant.”
“There’s more to camouflage than just color, my evil apprentice. Slipping unseen into a crowd also works. So long as the target doesn’t suspect you until it’s too late, it counts as stealth.”
“Okay. Example?”
“Hi there, friend. My name is Fake Name,” Surprised chirped merrily. “Would you like to buy a timeshare for a room in Canterlot Castle? You would? Oh goody. But wait,” she paused to pat herself down. “Where’s my clipboard. Silly me.” She face palmed. “I must have left it in that dark and foreboding alleyway where no pony can see us. Come on. Follow me and we’ll get you all signed up.”
“… Sneaky,” Silver eventually praised. “But I would not exactly call that stealth. A fine example of subterfuge: yes. But not stealth. If there are any other ponies hiding in the alley, they would be the stealthy ones, but not the pony acting as the front.”
Surprise clucked her tongue thoughtfully. “I guess that makes sense.”
“When I think ‘stealth’, I picture a pony blending into their surroundings. They spy their target and make a careful approach.”
“Like a total creep,” Surprise giggled.
Silver nodded. “Exactly. The creep becomes stealthy by getting in close without being noticed. I guess that could be done by either inching your way slowly, or swooping down so no pony has time to see what happened.”
“Excellent observation,” Surprise praised.
“Now that I think about it, I’m not sure either option is even possible without a partner,” Silver added. “I’m not sure I could even lift up something like Thomas without help; at least not for very long.”
“Another excellent observation!” Surprise then stroked her chin while melodramatically humming. “So maybe we do the alley thing, but you’re the front and I’m the one who hides.”
Silver chuckled with an incredulous grin. “And where, pray tell, do you plan to hide? More importantly, how? You are not exactly…” She trailed off while gesturing along the white mare’s body.
“Yeah, I guess,” Surprise huffed dejectedly. “I mean, you could probably fit in most overhead compartments. A shame the rest of us aren’t so lucky.”
Silver narrowed her eyes dangerously upon her friend while maintaining a grin. “As opposed to you, who could probably fit an entire cage between those udders of yours.”
Surprise’s eyes went wide. “You really think so?”
Silver blinked, regretting her words. “Well, I suppose if it was folded up first.”
“Not like Luna’s, though. She could probably hide an entire battalion in her teats.”
Silver chuckled. “At least!”
“So would that mean Celestia would be able to hide two or three battalions?”
Silver gave this question its due consideration. “Just to be safe, I would say three.”
“Yeah. Me too. But I think we’ve gotten a little off topic.”
“Oh right. We were planning evil.”
“Yappers! We were planning on sneaking up on unsuspecting ponies to snatch ‘em up.”
“But I’m still a novice at this. Should we not start with something small and work our way up? Like purses.”
“Or kittens out of a tree.”
“… How is that evil?”
“It’s more like practice,” Surprise explained. “A cat stuck up a tree gets all kinds of stressed real quick. Any stranger who approaches had better be wearing gloves at the very least.”
“Experience?”
Surprise shuddered. “It was like a piranha with fur. Also I’m pretty sure it swore at me after I put it down.”
“You understand animals?” Silver asked. Understanding animals wasn’t unheard of, but it was a gift primarily restricted to those with animal related cutie marks.
“I don’t speak the language, but some things are pretty obvious from context.”
Silver nodded her acceptance. “Fair enough. So what about the evil?”
“We could grab a cloud and rain on somepony’s flower garden!”
“And… how is that evil?”
“Well, that pony might get all excited about tending the garden they’ve taken great pains to maintain over the years. At first it was tricky and a bit of a chore, but now it’s like the highlight of the day. No worries or obligations. Just a pony and their flowers, all nice and peaceful. Then boom! Soil’s wet even though there was no rain scheduled. We’ve just robbed a pony of their relaxation because they don’t want to overwater.” Sinisterly she pressed her palms together while tapping her finger tips and growled, “The perfect crime.”
Silver smiled. “And what if there are witnesses?”
Surprise paused, clearly having not considered such a variable. She thought on it a moment before brilliance struck. “I’ll act as the decoy and get everypony’s attention. I can do a little dance or something. That’s when you sneak up for the evil flower watering of evilness.”
“I’m liking this plan. But…”
“Yeah?”
“I thought we just established that neither of us knows how to do stealth properly.”
Surprise promptly face palmed. “Shoot, you’re right!”
“Isn’t there a place we could go to practice? Certainly the evil cabal of winged ponies would be willing to train new members.”
“Yeah, not really. See, you didn’t know about clouds as evil lairs, which is just common sense. That says to me that you probably haven’t been paying your membership fees.”
“There are fees now!?” Silver demanded, overcome with dramatic outrage.
“Oh yeah. Big buggers. You’re really supposed to sign up young so they can indoctrinate you early. If you try signing up now, they’ll probably charge you back pay for all the years you missed.”
“Well that just won’t do!” Silver huffed. “Evil is one thing, but that kind of business model is downright criminal. Charging ponies for a service they don’t even use,” she muttered bitterly. “We should sue.”
“Sue the secret cabal of evil winged ponies for their unethical business practices?”
“Exactly.”
“… I like it!”
Silver nodded happily.
“And it’s not like you’re the only pony who’s ever been screwed over by the cabal. We can start a letter writing campaign, get some signatures, and really build up a case to take those jerks down!” Surprise slammed her fist into her open palm.
Silver held up her hand in halting. “Hold on. I just thought of something.”
“What?”
“Is it a cabal or a cartel? We need to get our terminology right if we want to look like we know what we’re talking about for the lawsuit.”
“Oh good point. Let me think.” Surprise pondered loudly. “If I remember correctly, I think a cartel is more like a drug ring. They produce and sell stuff. A cabal is just a group of schemers. So I guess a cartel is a type of cabal, but the latter isn’t outright illegal. Anypony is technically allowed to scheme.”
“So long as they are not caught.”
“Well that goes without saying.”
“Which means the evil organization of winged ponies is a cabal. And since it’s technically not illegal, that should increase our chances of filing a lawsuit.”
“And really, isn’t that the greatest form of evil?” Surprise asked sweetly.
Silver slapped her hand over her muzzle and waited for her chortles to die down. “So we have a plan then. In order to avoid me paying the cabal their exorbitant back pay fees, we’re going to find an overpriced lawyer and pay them to help us sue the tribalist cabal dedicated to world domination and force them to revise their business practices.”
“I’m almost certain I read something this complicated in a comic once. It was a parody of one of those over-the-top spy thrillers with a villain twirling her moustache.”
“Her moustache?”
“Yeah. She came from a long line of great villains. There was this funny scene where she’s showing all their portraits, all with the same style of moustache – big and twirly – until finally it came to her. Her sister didn’t have a moustache, which is why she ended up joining the good guys by the end.”
“So… the key to villainy is the right kind of moustache?”
“That is what comic books taught me. Yes.”
“Then why don’t we just go to a unicorn barber and get moustaches of our own?”
“That… is a really good point. Why don’t we do that?”
“Don’t ask me. You’re the one whose supposed to be the expert in all things villainy. I’m just following your lead.”
“Nooo!” Surprise cried and buried her face into her palms. “I’ve failed as a master villain. How will I ever live down this shame?”
“You… could pay for both of our moustaches?” Silver offered.
“W-would that really be enough?”
“It’ll be like an investment into our new careers as villains. In fact, screw the cabal! We’ll start up an evil organization of our own, one with a code of ethics that actually appeals to our clients.”
“And we’ll be inclusive,” Surprise added, perking up. “I’ll bet the unicorn and earth pony cabals have a lot of unsatisfied customers of their own. If we can gather them all up, we can create an unstoppable force that’ll rock the criminal underworld to its knees!”
Silver started snapping her fingers while humming her discontent. “There’s a sex joke in there, somewhere. Get them on their knees and… and… make them submit?”
“Make ‘em choke on our muffs?”
Silver pursed her lips distastefully. “Maybe something more tasteful. We’ll workshop it. For now we should get those moustaches, which we knew all along were critical for our evil plans.”
“Yippeeeee!” Surprise cheered, leading the dive downwards with Silver at her five o’ clock.
It wasn’t hard for the pair to find a good selection of barbers. However, given that this was Canterlot, the city universally accepted to be run by uppity unicorns who sniffed their own farts, it was a bit trickier to find one that offered the specific services they sought. Even the less regal districts were of no help. And so the pair decided to rest their wings and search by hoof.
“I don’t get it!” Surprise groused. “There are spells to do everything and the kitchen sink with manes, tails, and fur, but not one pony knows a simple moustache spell.”
“Magic does not make sense, sometimes,” agreed Silver. “You remember that second place we went to?”
“The one that nearly blinded me with its neon pink?”
“Yes. I took a look at their catalogue and each style was its own unique spell. Why?” Silver demanded. “It’s all just hair growth, isn’t it? Why isn’t there just one spell for hair growth, and then you,” she reached out with her imaginary tools, “just style it as you grow select areas? It should be that simple.”
“Well, this is Canterlot. I’ll bet the select spells are just an excuse to jack up the prices.”
“Even so! This makes no sense. Hair is hair is hair!”
“Psst!”
Both mares paused and looked around.
“You two. I hear you’re looking for… a hair spell.”
The mares turned around to see a sketchy looking pony in a hood leaning out from an alley way.
“I’ve got some… hair spells, if you know what I mean.” The sketchy mare cackled. It was a slithery, slimy sound that gave all those who heard it a sudden feeling of uncleanliness. “Just come this way, and I’ll… show ya.”
The pegasus and bat pony stared flabbergasted at the sketchy mare in the cloak. The alarm bells in their heads were going off with such intensity that they ended up shorting out, along with other brain functions. Eventually the two were able to initiate a successful reboot and turn their disbelieving eyes on one another.
“This can’t be real,” Surprise whispered.
“It’s uncanny,” Silver agreed. “What are the odds we would be talking about alley ways, and then…?” She gestured at the sketchy mare.
“Hey! What are you two whispering about over there?” demanded the mare in the hood. “You better not be talking about me. It’s rude to talk about ponies you’re ignoring, ya know.”
“Can’t hear us, so she probably doesn’t have wings,” Surprise assessed.
“Excuse me,” Silver greeted. “Yes, hi. I noticed you seem to be lacking a horn.”
“What’re you? Some kind of tribalist?” the sketchy mare snapped, making Silver flinch involuntarily. “Ain’t just unicorns that can do magic ya know. Us earth ponies got our own… special ways.” The sketchy mare gave a smile that had likely never once seen a dentist, filled with gaps, cracked teeth, and a rainbow of shades of yellow. “Now do you want your hair spell, or do I need to take my services elsewhere?”
The off-duty concubines exchanged one last look, puzzling over what to do. It was then that Surprise saw an armored pony in Luna’s colors poking around a corner on the opposite side of the road. Grinning, the pegasus made a hand gesture that only the guard could see, which was returned. Surprise then gave a reassuring smile and wink to Silver, informing the mare that all was well.
“I’ll try your special hair spell first,” Surprise volunteered loudly. “My friend here can wait outside this alley,” she gestured, “while I get the treatment, or whatever it is you’re doing.”
“Um… okay,” the sketchy mare agreed and motioned her forward. “Come this way, my pretty. Ee-he-hee! Come, and experience the majesty of our top-of-the-line hair spells.”
“Thank you, miss,” Surprise accepted, maintaining her volume. “I’d be happy to follow you down this alley way and accept your services.”
“Not to complain, but do you have some kind of middle volume between shouting and whispering?” asked the sketchy mare. “It’s a little, well, distracting.”
“Is it a problem that I’m talking loudly as I go into this alley?” Surprise asked, still almost shouting.
The sketchy mare scowled under her hood. “Not for me, but you should know the guards who come around these parts aren’t shy about giving tickets for the slightest things. And your just asking for a ‘disruption of the peace’ fine if you keep that up.”
“Oh. Sorry,” Surprise agreed in her indoor voice and followed the sketchy mare. “I’m Surprise by the way. What’s your name?”
“Folks around here just call me Slim. You want something the wealthy buckers hog all to themselves? I’m the gal to call.”
“How interesting,” Surprise replied. Turning into the alley was pretty much exactly what the concubines had expected to see. Dank, murky concrete, the stench of drenched road kill mixed with dirty diapers, a rusted fire escape that was definitely not up to code, and a general absence of light to add to the all-around creep factor.
“You sure about this?” Silver whispered, her fur standing on end.
“Don’t worry. I heard from a friend that this place is cool.” Surprise gestured with her eyes behind the smaller mare.
Silver followed her line of sight and saw the regal indigo and violet of the guard’s armor as they disappeared into the alley directly opposite the sketchy one. Hoping this meant what she thought it did, Silver turned back and gave her friend a nod; all the while keeping her ears perked on high alert.
Surprise was on equal alert, her ears pivoting this way and that as she tracked everything from drops of water to the scratching of rodents behind boxes. Her body language remained calm, however, and she was careful not to look directly upwards as she searched for possible hiding places. “So how long have you been in business?”
“Basically since I got my mark.” Slim pulled her cloak back, showing off her obscenely naked hip. The nudity was obscene in that most of the fur was gone, looking like it had been burned off. “Yeah, sorry about that. My associate was doing a little experimentation and… well, unicorns aren’t the only ones that can make things go boom.” She cackled uproariously.
“I… see.” Surprise stared at the furless flank as one might a burning crash. It was so morbid, yet so fascinating all at once. The rest of Slim’s body wasn’t much better off, covered in bruises and old scars. “Looks like things haven’t been easy for you.”
“If it was easy it wouldn’t be fun!” Slim croaked. “But you know what that’s like, right? I can tell you’re the sort of mare who really likes… fun.” Even under her hood, there was a sinister gleam in her eyes.
Surprise had to consciously force herself not to look up. Her eyes had adjusted to the alley’s darkness and she had counted four possible points of entry: the alley’s entrance behind her, a door to the building on the left, by sky overhead, and the door to what looked like a shack built against the alley’s dead end. She couldn’t hear any movement up above, but there was definitely somepony moving around in the shack up ahead.
“Hey Remix,” Slim called. “Got a client looking for your special… hair spells.”
Does she really have to say it like that? Surprise wondered in annoyance.
“I’m comin’, I’m comin’! Don’t rush me,” answered the stallion with the creaky old voice. He was a pegasus who looked just as sketchy as Slim. His right eye was milky white and the number of visible teeth when he smiled could be counted on one hand. “Hair spells, ya say?” Hobbling out the hut, the stallion named Remix looked Surprise over and licked his dry lips. “Anything specific?”
“Uh…” Surprise began, suddenly feeling far less confident about this plan. “Um, got anything for moustaches? They’re for a friend,” she amended hurriedly.
“Moustaches. Moustaches? Moustaches! Moustaches?” he demanded. “You barge into my alley in the middle of the Celestia damned night, knock on my door-”
“We didn’t knock,” Slim corrected quietly.
“And demand that I, the great Remix, share with you my coveted secrets for growing the finest moustaches in all the land?” Despite being the epitome of a cranky old codger, Remix’s voice, booming with rage, carried remarkably far.
“You got money?” Slim asked.
Surprise patted her fanny pack, making it jingle with coins. “Yaperoony!”
“Oh. Well why didn’t you say so?” Remix asked with his friendliest grin.
Slim face palmed. “It was implied, you old fool. That’s how business works.”
“Well how was I supposed to know that?”
“Because that’s how business… Actually, never mind!” Slim stopped herself. “Just get the goop so we can get this over with. There’s a line forming.”
Alarmed, Surprise spun around to see if whatever pony that had been hiding in the shadows had finally revealed themselves. They had, so to speak. Silver was still standing at the alley’s entrance, gob smacked as she stared up at the pegasus stallion in full armor. The night guard was standing behind and a little to the side of her, arms crossed and hoof tapping impatiently.
“Yeah, yeah. Just wait,” Slim said with a dismissive wave. “It’s not your turn yet.”
At the familiarity of Slim’s voice and the guard’s relaxed posturing, Surprise and Silver reached the same conclusion. Oh buck everything! It’s a crooked cop!
Silver especially was aggravated with this turn of events. She knew from the start that this was a bad idea. It was beyond reckless for them to just up and play vigilante like this. She’d trusted in Surprise’s training as a volunteer guard to mean she knew what she was doing. That second guard, Silver had assumed, was tracking what were supposed to be known criminals with the intent of busting them. But now? Now it looked like this was just another crooked guard, taking payments under the table from criminal slime. At the very least his presence meant these other crooks might be dissuaded from doing anything too shady.
“Here ya go.” Remix tossed a small jar over to Surprise. “Hair growth cream. Just apply a thick coating to wherever you want some extra hair.” He motioned stroking his thumb over his upper lip. “Stimulates the hair follicles, ya see. Just keep dabbing in the same spot ‘til ya get the desired length.”
Surprise, after mentally chiding herself for her carelessness, could only stare in wonder at the little jar. Checking between Slim and Remix to make sure it was okay; she unscrewed the lid and stared at the green paste within. It smelled faintly like watermelon. “Is… is that all?”
“That’s all,” Slim confirmed. “You can even try a finger full as a free sample.”
When had the mood changed so drastically? Not a minute ago this alley seemed like the sort of place everypony warned about never entering alone. Now it was more like a somewhat dirty kiosk on main street. The smiles of Slim and Remix weren’t as off-putting as before and even the alley seemed to have lightened up a bit.
“Stuff works,” the guard called. “Believe me. This stuff does wonders.” He lifted up his helmet to reveal the complete absence of any mane.
“Hold on,” Silver interjected. “There’s something fishy about all this.”
“Well there’s a seafood place just next door.” Remix motioned to the door on his right.
Silver’s hands tightened into fists. “I mean,” she breathed, “you!” She pointed at the guard. “What’s an on-duty guard doing buying hair growth formula from some shifty characters in an alley?”
The guard shrugged. “Yeah, sorry about the misunderstanding,” he said mostly to Surprise. “I saw you signing that there were suspicious ponies around, but didn’t realize you were talking about them.” He gestured to Slim and Remix. “They’re on the up and up. Plus they’re big donors to the guard precinct and fire department.”
“Ain’t good for business if the neighborhood gets burned down,” Slim added flatly.
“Then… why are they selling in an alley!?” Silver demanded irately.
“Tax dodging,” Remix replied unashamedly. “You know how much it costs to open up a business in Canterlot? More per square meter than what I make in a year! Ain’t no regulations on alleys, though,” she added triumphantly.
Silver turned in disbelief to the guard. “And that’s fine with you?”
“It’s not like they’re hurting anypony,” he answered honestly. “Folks around here look after each other. Entrepreneurs know to let the guards know when they’re setting up shop. We make sure they’re not up to anything actually illegal and they get to make a living. Also they’re stout observers of the standard military discount, so that helps.”
“That sounds an awful lot like-”
“It’s not a bribe,” Surprise cut Silver off. “Sometimes a shortage of guards means they have to get a little, ya know, creative with preserving the peace. That’s how it worked back in Cloudsdale.”
“Th-this can’t be real.” Silver’s tone was almost begging. Desperately she wanted to hear somepony call out ‘surprise’ and say that this was all a big joke. That was the only way she could fathom this making sense. “I… you… I can’t… What!?”
“Hey there, Silvs,” Surprise cooed, bounding up to her smaller friend and embracing her. “It’ll be alright.”
“Pleasure doing business,” Slim called as she eyed the coins in her hand. “Come back any time.”
“Are you free now?” asked the disgruntled guard.
“Yeah, sure. Get that flank over here and we’ll set you up with some good-”
“Shu-shush!” the guard cut in. “Seriously, you ponies need to learn a little thing called discretion,” he hissed angrily.
Unable to take any more of this absurdity, Silver’s knees began to buckle and Surprise was forced to carry her away. No words were shared, but Surprise held tightly around her friend to assure her that all was well. To cement this message, she even bought the both of them some ice cream cones. Silver, after a bit of coaxing, took her cone and allowed herself the simple foalish comforts of ice cream after an upsetting event.
“Psst. Hey. Silver,” Surprise whispered.
“… what?”
“Check this out.”
Silver gave a tired sigh. “Surprise, please. I’m not in the mood for…” Looking up, she could not finish. There were no words.
In the seat opposite the bat mare was the great white pegasus. In one hand she had an ice cream cone. A double scoop of chocolate and strawberry. Upon her other hand, coiled around her finger, were long and silken hairs. Black as midnight, they had the most elegant sheen under the street lights, looking very much like the mare had recently paid a visit to an exceptionally pricy stylist. Above all, the most curious and eye-catching aspect of these hairs was the inescapable fact that they were growing out of the mare’s upper lip.
“You didn’t,” Silver gasped.
“Didn’t what?” Surprise asked coyly, twirling the moustache that was even longer than her hand. When she let it go, it acted very much as though it were acting under the influence of a very strong hair gel as it bounced back into a curved shape, mirroring its sibling. The smirk beneath this magnificent display of facial hair was the very picture of pride. It wasn’t long before Surprise resumed her twirling, clearly having far too much fun. And then she followed it up with an evil snicker. “Nya nya nyaaa!” All that was needed was a cigar to complete the look.
Not a second later, Silver lost it. It was a good thing she wasn’t drinking anything, but her gaffaws nearly caused her ice cream to spill.
Blue Sapphire hummed her delight as she attended her ice cream cone; a double scoop of mint and rocky road, just because she was feeling adventurous. “I feel like a little foal again.” She sounded like a foal too.
Moonlight, walking close by Blue’s side, couldn’t help but keep her eyes peeled as she licked at her own treat of vanilla with chocolate sauce. Already she’d picked out a number of hidden guards in the crowd, but still felt it was her duty to keep vigilant, her eyes ever surveying her surroundings. “I just feel like a guard without armor,” she admitted with a hint of annoyance. It was increasingly irksome to always be in guard mode even when going out with her loved ones. It was like having low-key agoraphobia, forever hindering her ability to relax in crowds.
“Liberating, yes?”
“Eh. I’m not so sure.”
“Don’t tell me you’re catching Thomas’ shyness about nudity,” Blue joked.
“By the stars, I hope not!” Moonlight shuddered in fear. “It’s a little cute when he does it, and while I admit it’s noticeably cooler not being covered up,” she glanced down at her nude and nubile form, “I really can’t imagine actually being ashamed of my body like that.” And what was there to be ashamed of, anyway? Her figure was healthily lean without being slim, her muscles – especially her abs – were aesthetically defined, her plot was pert, and her teats were perky. Even if this weren’t the case, it was hard to wrap her head around the idea of wanting to hide herself away.
“Verily. The body of a pony is a beautiful thing. It is to be put out on display for all the world to see!”
“Says the mare in the glamour.”
“This is how my body would look if I were born a unicorn, so it counts,” Blue argued petulantly.
“Really? Because the way I see it, you’re covering yourself in a cloak of magic instead of cloth or metal.”
Blue snorted. “That’s different and you know it. Obviously I’d much prefer to go about as myself, but then enjoying a peaceful outing would be far more challenging.”
“True,” Moonlight conceded, now looking Blue over. “So is that what it’s like?”
“What is what is like?”
“Wearing a glamour. It doesn’t feel like your covering yourself?” Moonlight asked honestly. “You’re ‘putting yourself out there for all the world to see?’” she asked in imitation of Blue’s drama.
“More or less. Why? Did you wish to try?” she asked eagerly.
Moonlight clucked her tongue thoughtfully. She knew exactly what Blue was referring to. They’d discussed it back at the castle, but the unicorn had been uncertain at the time. It sounded just so outlandish with far too much potential for public embarrassment. Now, after letting the idea simmer for a bit, she was ready to make a decision. “You know what, why not? I can’t let you have all the fun of playing pretend.”
Beaming, Blue grabbed Moonlight by the wrist and dragged her into the nearest store with a bathroom. It was small enough for only a single toilet and sink, but the two mares were able to squeeze in easily enough, locking the door behind them. “So, what were you thinking?” Blue asked, her horn sparking in anticipation of the spell.
Moonlight smiled softly at her lover’s enthusiasm. Although she was still a little apprehensive of what was to come, she made up her mind to put her faith in her friend. “I don’t really have a preference for body type, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Blue tilted her head and quirked her ears cutely. “Are you sure? This could be a chance to live out all sorts of,” she licked her lips suggestively, “fantisies.”
Moonlight rolled her eyes. “A nice thought, but maybe for next time. For now, I guess, I’ll just settle for what you have: a different version of me. However, on top of that first thing, I don’t suppose you’d be able to give me… wings, would you?”
Blue’s excitement tapered out a bit. “Well maybe. They probably didn’t teach this in school, but wing physiology is a lot more complicated than what I had suggested, what with all those extra moving parts. And that is without the mental physiological alterations which would be necessary for the proper wing movement in addition to your normal mental structuring. They would work primarily visually and have the illusion of mass, but would not function at all like real wings would. I am strong enough to levitate you, if that’s what you want, but a full transfiguration is unwise for a first attempt, especially not without a list of precautions that I doubt you want to wait for.”
“That’s fine with me,” Moonlight allowed, tempering her disappointment. “An evening fly would have been romantic, but I think I still want to know what it feels like to have wings.”
“Very well. Then a winged pony you shall be!”
Moonlight quickly closed her eyes as the light enveloped the tiny room, her body quivering in excitement. Outside, ponies who saw the flash beneath the door just shook their heads and pretended they didn’t see evidence of one or more ponies doing things of questionable legality. When Moonlight opened her eyes again, she felt a weight on her back and immediately spun around.
“Wings!” The pair of appendages opened wide as if to offer greetings. She felt the movement tug a little on her shoulder blades, but not uncomfortably. “My very own wings!” It was a little awkward at first, spinning around to reach her new parts, but Moonlight was soon able to grab ahold and stroke her new, feathery limbs. There was a tickling tingle as she stroked her fingers across the individual feathers, each so delightfully fluffy to the touch. “This is great! I can’t believe I really have-”
*Smack*
Moonlight paused, feeling it more than she’d heard it. In her efforts to spin around and achieve a better grip on her new wings, something had smacked her inner thigh. Reflexively she snapped to look down, legs parted, and eyes wide as she beheld it. It was a penis. Her penis! Right there, hanging limply between her legs, was the same penis and testicles she’d had back during the induction orgy. “… Oh.” She’d known it was coming. This had been Blue’s original request, after all. Yet, even compared to the addition of wings, this sight still stunned her the most.
Then came the snorting. It was a stifled, choking sound. Moonlight looked up to find Blue with both hands over her muzzle, stifling herself at her friend’s expression. Each time it looked like the blue mare got control of herself she’d pause, look Moonlight in the eye, and double over with renewed guffaws.
Moonlight narrowed her eyes dangerously on the taller mare. She opened her mouth to speak, to offer some form of rebuke, but thought better of it. In this instance, she had no pony to blame but herself.
“So,” Blue inquired in between her chuckles. “How is it?”
Moonlight just blinked before taking a second to breathe and center herself. This was still just a glamour, an illusion. Its magic connected to her mind to give the impression of realism, but it was still no more than a construct that would disappear the moment its energy supply faded. With those settling thoughts, the orange mare decided her next best course of action would be a more extensive self-examination.
As before, the phallus was a dark shade of orange while the sheath and sack were even darker. The flat head of her horse cock was poking tentatively out from its hood, but made no effort to rise. Likely this was in response to its owner’s confused jumble of emotions. Tentatively, she reached out to touch the new appendage. Her fingers brushed along the top of the sheath and, although she’d braced herself for some kind of jolt of sensation, there was nothing. She still felt the realness of the male equipment, but it was far less sensitive than even her new wings.
“It takes stallions a bit more effort to pleasure themselves,” Blue counseled wisely. “When the touch is your own, the sensation is little different than touching your knees, at least not without the correct mindset.”
Moonlight nodded absently, only barely paying attention. As her one hand stroked along her sheathed phallus, her other hand found something rather unusual against her hip. She looked down to see what it was, only for the true horror of the situation to sink in. Somehow she’d missed it earlier when looking at her sheath, but now the full extent of Blue’s spell was becoming all too apparent.
“My… flank,” Moonlight stammered as she beheld the new, more angular shape of her flank. There was little time to process this, however, once she started properly hearing herself. She touched her hand to her throat and felt a very distinctive bump. “My… voice,” she said in her new baritone. “My flanks! My…” Her eyes lingered up on her muscled pecs, noting the distinct absence of a particular pair of sacs of fat. She, or rather, he looked up at the still snickering Blue, eyes pleading for further advice.
At long last, Blue succeeded in reigning in her mirth. “When Thomas first wore a pony glamour, there was a bit of vertigo at first as he adjusted to his new height. That faded after a moment as the spell harmonized with his perceptions. The same will happen with you. Just focus on your new features and allow yourself to accept them.”
Nodding appreciatively as he trembled just a little, Moonlight took a second breath, somewhat louder than he needed to. He listened to the sound of his new, masculine breathing; watching the rise and fall of his new, masculine chest. He even gave his wings some tentative flaps. It was all incredibly awkward in the beginning, moving things that never existed before. This wasn’t like the induction ceremony where it was just an extra part to play with. This was a full figure transmogrification, a redefinition of what it meant to be Moonlight. But, with time, the awkwardness slowly ebbed into acceptance.
Blue waited until Moonlight’s breathing had evened out. “Better?”
“A little,” Moonlight answered, only to resume touching his throat. “This is still odd, though.”
Blue nodded and motioned for him to go on.
“Deep. Deeeeep,” he said with an experimental hum. “I sound like one of my old drill instructors. He was always barking orders whenever any of us stepped even a millimeter out of line. ‘You call that a push up?’” he growled in imitation of said instructor. “Your nose didn’t even touch the ground. Drop and give me fifty more!”
Blue smiled her approval as Moonlight harmonized with the spell. The wings would come later, but this was a solid start.
“Actually,” Moonlight continued, “I’m starting to see why he liked giving orders so much. This kind of voice just screams ‘I have authority. Do as I say, or else.’ Hmmmm,” he exaggeratedly hummed. “Nice.”
“In several ways,” Blue added, letting her eyes trail along Moonlight’s new, bulkier, masculine body.
Noticing this, Moonlight unfolded his arms and placed his hands on his waist, proudly displaying what he had to offer. He watched Blue’s eyes as they traced over his frame, and felt a bit odd. Although he was sure it had happened before, he’d never really paid much mind to being ogled outside a bedroom setting. And even knowing ‘Blue’ was just a glamour, it just added to the oddness to think he was being looked over by a stranger. “This is certainly different,” he stated plainly, still posing.
“But not unwelcome,” Blue replied, only for her expression to turn skeptical. “Hmm.”
“What?”
“I used my male guards as a reference for this shape, but now I’m questioning if turning you into a male version of Honey was going a bit too far.”
“You’re worried about boundaries now?” Moonlight asked, snickering in disbelief. Blue gave no response and continued her examination. “Well, if you want my opinion,” he turned around to look at himself from multiple angles, “I think I’m more like a male me than Honey.”
“Are you sure?”
Moonlight continued examining himself. His muscles had the same level of definition as before and almost everything else seemed roughly proportional. The absence of his feminine assets was still a little jarring, doing the most to signify that he was no longer a she. However, in the context of the glamour, nothing seemed abnormal. “I think so. If I were a male Honey, I’d look more like Plow.” He flexed his bicep, imagining how much bigger it would be if it belonged to either earth pony. “This is more like my dad, or my brothers.” Just saying those words helped to push Moonlight’s acceptance even further. Being born of the same family, he still had the same father and brothers, so of course he’d maintain a familial likeness.
Blue nodded. “So I take it you’re pleased with this bit of spontaneity and breaking of routine?”
Moonlight’s self-exam continued as he ran his hands over his new physique. More and more he was accepting the alien texture beneath his fingers, yet still felt compelled to double and triple check. It wasn’t often he got to feel a male body like this. “Well, I can safely say I don’t have a life where any of this,” he gestured at himself, “is routine.”
Blue nodded. “Agreed. I might be a little biased, but I appreciate your feminine form more.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“I honestly mean it,” Blue insisted. “For some reason I find myself especially critical of this form, even more so than mine or Thomas’. Perhaps I’m overthinking things?”
“Personally, I like it.” Moonlight bounced in placed and marveled at his body’s reaction. His pecs still had a bounce to them, resulting in a giggle most immature.
“I suppose that’s all that matters. This is probably just a case of an artist being too critical of her own work.”
“So I’m a piece of art, now?” Moonlight asked, feigning offense.
“Are you not?”
Moonlight didn’t answer right away. Instead he turned to the mirror to take his first look at his face. The difference was uncanny. He still looked like herself, just more masculine. Rough edges replaced smoother curves. Wide things had grown slim and soft things were now hard. He was still herself, a blend of her sire and dame. Mane style, tail, and fur were all the same. He was maybe an inch or two taller. The absence of a horn caused his stomach to backflip, leading to his hand snapping up to check. His sigh was relieved when he made contact with the long, pointed protrusion on his forehead. This was all just a glamour. Nothing had physically changed. It was just an illusion. All seemed as it should be, given the circumstances, except… “How do I look more like my dame, now?”
“I’ve heard it said that fillies tend to take after their sires while colts more resemble their dames. Perhaps my spell agreed with this folksy wisdom?”
“Maybe,” Moonlight trailed off, suddenly engrossed with making faces in the mirror. The hope was that staring at his altered face long enough would act as a sort of exposure therapy to help him come to terms with his invisible horn. “I think I could get used to this, at least for one night.”
“Then let us away, Stalwart Shield!” Blue declared before grabbing the stallion by the arm and leading them out of the bathroom, past the small line that had grown during their stay.
“They’re staring,” Stalwart said, suddenly self-conscious. He felt the curious need to cover himself, but didn’t know where to put his hands.
Blue just pressed on. “Ignore them. They’re just jealous.”
Stalwart’s self-consciousness only heightened when the pair got out into the open air. It felt like everypony was staring at him, despite the fact that most pedestrians couldn’t have cared less. In his mind he pictured each of them glowering at him, judging him for… something. It was bad, whatever it was. And the poor stallion still didn’t know what to do with his hands. Blue, acting on her role as the mare, pulled Stalwart close. The orange pegasus quickly relaxed as he felt the warmth of the mare’s soft body wash over him.
Blue was still the taller of the pair, and the way she pulled her stallion close just felt right, but in a different way than usual. Was it Stalwart’s newfound maleness that was making him feel so protected? Was this a part of the spell, Moonlight’s psyche and preconceptions coping with her new body, or maybe the mare-turned-stallion was just overthinking things?
While Blue’s touch helped to calm him down, what grounded Stalwart was noticing an odd movement in the crowd. He recognized the pony staring warily at him as an undercover guard. The guard took no aggressive action, but it was clear from his body language that he was not happy to see his charge suddenly getting cozy with a complete stranger. Stalwart quickly signed who he was before assuring that all was clear. The undercover guard’s head pulled back as if struck as he just stared at Stalwart for a good long while. Then he face palmed before disappearing back into the crowd, leaving the newly minted stallion feeling self-conscious all over again.
“What is my life?” bemoaned the orange stallion.
“Fun?” Blue offered hopefully with a reassuring squeeze.
Stalwart managed a soft chuckle and returned the squeeze and the two began to walk more normally. Stalwart – mentally rehearsing his new name so that it didn’t surprise him later – took in the sights. On the surface, Canterlot looked no different than it ever had. However, it still felt different. “I think I’m still harmonizing with the spell,” he thought aloud.
Blue’s horn lit as she pressed her forehead close to Stalwart’s.
The stallion blushed a little. He knew full well who Blue was, and it wasn’t as though they’d never been this close before. But something still felt off. Stalwart found himself staring down at Blue’s chest as though this were the first time. The words slipped. “Are your teats bigger?”
Blue pulled back and stared into the stallion’s eyes, (inadvertently) giving him a better look. “What?”
Stalwart’s cheeks went beet red and he averted his gaze. “N-nothing.”
“No, that was something,” Blue countered, leaning deeper into Stalwart’s personal space. “You were staring at my teats, weren’t you?” Her tone was equal parts accusatory and amusement.
“Well… it’s not like I could help it. I was looking down and… and…”
“Why so defensive?” Blue inquired, fluttering her eyelids flirtatiously. “Is there something wrong with them?” Letting go of the stallion completely, she folded her arms beneath her chest, pushing her melons up and out. Seeing the distress on Stalwart’s face, she went the extra mile and gave them a playful shake.
“It’s the glamour, isn’t it!?” Stalwart snapped, unable to tear his eyes away from the mesmerizing sight. “You… did something extra.”
Blue’s smile was infuriatingly calm as she shrugged, again giving her teats a soft bounce. “Perhaps. The glamour alters perceptions so that the short do not trip over themselves if given longer legs. Magic has its own will, so perhaps you are feeling as you believe a stallion would?”
Stalwart blinked. That made a frightening amount of sense, which in turn opened up even more frightening implications. “So… I’m ogling your teats-”
“Yes.”
“-because I think a stallion would?”
“Or should,” Blue amended. “This might be a chance to explore your own preconceptions about the world.”
Stalwart pursed his lips. “I’m starting to have second thoughts about all this.”
Blue nodded sympathetically. “I understand. If at any time you wish to stop, just say so.”
Stalwart gratefully bumped hips with Blue, but still felt weighted by his thoughts. While his situation was still unnerving, just the knowledge of there being an easy out helped to calm him immensely. “Why’d you want to do this anyway? Make me a stallion, I mean.”
Blue sighed. “I think I wished to help you relax.”
“Relax?”
“Well, when my regalia comes off, it means I no longer have to be a Princess. I get to just be Luna for a while. It is something of a self-imposed mental conditioning. But your armor almost never comes off. Even on break, the first thing you do in the morning is suit up. Thus, even when it does come off, too often you are of the mindset to keep it on.”
“Well, maybe not the first thing,” Stalwart added out the corner of his mouth.
Blue ignored this. “Sometimes being somepony else can make you feel more like yourself. Wearing the glamour of Blue means that the responsibilities of Luna are not mine to bear. I am free to do as I like without being restricted by the expectations of rich, noble, or politico. I can be the Luna I choose to be without having to worry about how my actions will affect the Princess Luna image and reputation that I deal with when not disguised. So for tonight, instead of being Moonlight the guard, you can likewise enjoy the freedom of being Stalwart.”
Stalwart stared thoughtfully back at Blue. What she said seemed to make sense, even if he couldn’t articulate why. “Okay, but who is Stalwart?”
Finally Blue let her arms drop and took a small step back. “I have no idea,” she said proudly before extending a hand. “Hello,” she greeted warmly. “We have yet to be acquainted. My name is Blue Sapphire. Who might you be?”
A bit awkwardly, the orange stallion reached out and took the mare’s hand. “H-hello? I’m Stalwart Shield. A pleasure to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” Blue beamed. “Would you like to join me for a night of shopping?”
“What? Like a date?”
Blue hummed as she warily eyed the stallion. “Normally I’m not into stallions who act so forwardly. After all, we’ve only just met and I’m a bit of a traditionalist.”
Seeing Blue’s motioning hand, Stalwart quickly caught on what he was meant to do. “Oh. That’s fair. In that case, maybe we could just grab a tea and see where the night takes us?”
Blue grinned her approval. “That sounds lovely.”
The pair resumed their walk, hand in hand, into the shopping district.
“So then Blue, pony I’ve never met before,” Stalwart began as organically as he could. “What do you do for a living?”
Blue considered quietly before answering. “I work as a chef in the castle.”
“Oh really?”
“I most certainly do! And anypony who says otherwise is a filthy liar.”
“Well I’m convinced,” Stalwart replied with a chuckle. “As for me, hmm… I’m a florist.”
“You are?” Blue asked in awe.
“I am. Why act so surprised?”
“Well, your cutie mark is for a shield,” she pointed out.
“Um… That’s because I’m a defender. Yes! I defend the flowers from their enemies.”
“I never knew flowers had enemies.”
“Most ponies don’t. It’s, uh, sort of a trade secret to protect the, uh, populace.”
“Well now you have me hooked. Do go on.”
“I really shouldn’t,” Stalwart said apologetically. “It would betray my sacred oath.”
Blue’s brow climbed to incredible heights up her forehead. “Are florists truly so organized that they have their very own oaths?”
“As far as you know, yes. Yes they do.”
“The more you deny me, the more my interest builds.”
“Well, as a stallion in the company of such a pretty mare, I’d say my plan is working.”
Blue giggled before leading the way to an outdoor tea house. They grabbed a small table and quickly gave their orders before being left in peace.
“She was cute.”
“Hm?”
“The waitress,” Blue reminded, resting her chin on her hands as she eyed up the orange stallion. “She had a good pair of teats on her, don’t you think?”
“I, uh, didn’t notice.”
“Liar,” Blue tittered. “I saw you looking.”
“So? I have eyes. I’m allowed to look!”
“I never said otherwise,” Blue assured, trying to calm her defensive date. “I am just curious. Do you have an affinity for a mare’s teats?”
Stalwart opened his mouth to answer, but paused to reconsider. “Actually, I’ve always considered myself more of a flank g-uy.” The glamour had corrected his word choice. “But recently, I think my tastes have started to shift.”
“That is interesting,” Blue noted. The waitress came back with their orders and the tall unicorn took a savoring sip of her drink. “What do you think brought this on?”
“Let’s just call it a recent change in perspective,” Stalwart replied with a half grin. “Very recent.”
“I’d like to know more, if you would.”
Stalwart clucked his tongue thoughtfully and took his own sip. “Well, I’d always thought that flanks being universal to all ponies was part of their charm. A stallion’s plot is pretty different from a mare’s,” he shifted in his seat, curious if he could feel a difference, “but they both have their appeal. Teats, though…”
“Yes?”
“Teats are exclusive to mares. Granted, I’ve seen one or two stallions with teats, but they weren’t exactly what you’d call appealing.” The pair shared a laugh. “It’s funny. You go through all your life, looking at these big, round, and bouncy bags of flesh.” He bounced in his seat, making his own pecs jiggle. “They’re nice, but also normal. It’s like living in a city with beautiful architecture all your life. You start to take the scenery for granted. Then one day, reality slides sideways and suddenly you realize what’s been in your face this entire time.”
“That’s a rather interesting way to put it.” Blue pulled her seat around to sit closer to Stalwart. “Have you noticed anything else since this shift?”
Stalwart, before he’d even realized he was doing it, scooted his chair closer to Blue’s. A pregnant pause followed. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
“To what?” Blue cut him off. “What did you do wrong?”
Good question. What did he do wrong? “I, um, I’m not sure.”
“Well, it’s perfectly normal for friendly ponies to be friendly with each other, right?”
Stalwart nodded. “I guess that makes sense.”
“So is that what you were doing?”
“Maybe.” Stalwart looked around the street. “Ever since my little ‘shift’, I’ve been feeling a little self-conscious. But, being near you, makes it not so bad.”
Blue cooed and quickly wrapped an arm around Stalwart, pulling him close for a half hug. “Aww. That’s so sweet. The cute little stallion is looking to the big strong mare to protect him.”
Stalwart wished he could die right there and then. He pulled all his magic into his invisible horn, hoping to compile something that might get him out of this. Teleportation, an invisibility spell, or anything for that matter. Unfortunately, the orange stallion with the bright red face didn’t know all that many spells, especially not the super advanced stuff. He could always summon a floating shield, beat Blue into the pavement, and make a run for it. That option certainly had its appeal. Unfortunately, his emotions were too jumbled to even pull that off.
Seeing the signs of tension in the stallion’s body language, Blue reacted by slinging another arm around the stallion’s back and pulling his face into her chest. He fought for a bit, but his struggles faded soon enough. She waited until his breathing had evened, smiling the entire time. “Better?”
Stalwart nodded, not saying a word. His movements caused the expanse of warm breast flesh to run all along his face, providing a familiar sort of relief. He exhaled, his hot breath confined in the closed space and sending an array of goosebumps across the teats. Their surface prickled against his cheeks before he was finally let up for air. Yet Stalwart’s eyes lingered on Blue’s chest.
The blue unicorn giggled, but Stalwart’s gaze remained fixed as he lifted one hand.
“May I?”
Blue’s cheeks pinkened slightly as her body went briefly stiff. She relaxed and eventually nodded her consent.
Stalwart cupped the bottom of Blue’s right breast. She sucked in a surprised breath, so he waited for her to nod for him to continue. He explored the entirety of the mammoth mammary, save for the areola. He tested its weight, applied pressure to see how it bounced back, and anything else he remembered Thomas doing those first times they were together. “It’s like I’m playing with the most amazing toy ever made,” he said without thinking.
“H-happy to hear,” Blue replied breathlessly. Now it was her turn to be wrought with self-consciousness as surrounding ponies either stared or made an obvious effort not to. Stalwart was touching a sensitive place far longer than was socially acceptable and Blue readied to advise him as such.
Stalwart removed his hand of his own accord first. “Well, that was enlightening.”
“Do tell,” Blue inquired a little breathlessly, glad that they were no longer being stared at. She wasn’t scared of public opinion or any sort of scandal. They were both in glamour, so the worst that might happen was these disguises being discontinued in favor of new models. What had actually made Blue anxious was Stalwart’s apparent unintended stoking of her inner fire. She’d never been that much of a voyeur, but at the rate they were going…
“It’s hard to put into words,” Stalwart confessed. “Nothing has actually changed, yet I feel like it should have. It’s like I’m trying to conform to some standard that I only recently heard about.”
“Perhaps you should give these standards a try,” Blue suggested bluntly. “The fun of playing pretend is in exploring the world from a new perspective, doing things you might not, but your character would.”
Stalwart nodded considerately. “Fair enough. So, it’s actually my character who wants to stare at your teats, not necessarily me?”
“If that thinking helps.”
“Alright then.” Stalwart sat back in his seat, closed his eyes, and appeared to go into a deep meditation for a second. When his eyes opened again, his body language had become much more receptive. “My, it’s chilly tonight,” he said while giving his shoulders an inviting roll. “And here I am, without a jacket.”
Blue grinned from ear-to-ear and closed the remaining distance. “Aww, poor thing,” she said while pulling the smaller stallion close. “Is this better?”
Stalwart gave a contented hum while resting his cheek on Blue’s shoulder. “It’s nice to meet a mare who knows how to treat a stallion,” he cooed.
Blue giggled. “As I said, I’m quite the traditionalist. It’s actually been a little tricky adapting to all these modern norms.”
“Some things might have changed,” agreed Stalwart. “Gone are the days when you could just slap a strange stallion on the behind and have them laugh it off.”
“That was never actually a thing,” Blue corrected. “Not if you valued the integrity of your nose.”
Stalwart chuckled. “But the classics are still the same. Treat each other right, and we’ll all get along just fine.”
“An idea that sounds simple on the surface, but bares so many deeper implications,” Blue pondered. “What, for example, would you consider being treated right?”
Stalwart clucked his tongue, thinking what Stalwart the stallion might say. “Well, since you’re the mare who asked me out, we can start by having you pay for the drinks.”
“Simple enough.”
“And when we go shopping, maybe you can buy me something nice?” Stalwart awkwardly asked. It felt so wrong to be making these kinds of demands, but the smile on Blue’s face assured him that no lines had yet been crossed.
“For a stallion as cute as you, I think I can manage, provided you can do me a favor in exchange.”
Stalwart pulled back a little and donned a wary, somewhat offended expression. “If you’re as traditional as you claim, I hope you don’t expect me, a helpless stallion, to do anything untoward on our first date.”
“Oh, Luna’s flanks, no!” Blue denied dramatically. “You’re so young and obviously naïve. I’d never-”
“Wait,” Stalwart cut in. “Naïve?”
“Well yes. You were getting rather handsey back there, if you recall.” She motioned to her breast. “Ponies were staring.”
Stalwart’s face flushed as the weight of his actions hit him like a sack of bricks.
“For a stallion to actually do that in public, well, it reminds me a little of some erotica’s I’ve read,” Blue explained. “The young stallion, barely out of colthood, so bright-eyed and naïve to the harshness of the world, being met by the handsomely wizened mare who is all too ready to teach.” Her inflection on that last word left no doubt what she was implying. “Had you gone on for much longer, I fear I might not have been able to stop myself from correcting your behavior.”
Stalwart pursed his lips tightly as his hands balled into fists. In his obsession with his new identity, he’d completely forgotten who it was he was dealing with. Thinking back on it, and reversing the rolls, having a cute stallion touch him… er, her like that would have been embarrassingly arousing. But with the mare behind the mask of Blue, that kind of public teasing was downright dangerous, with a serious possibility of pelvic injury. With his mouth suddenly dry, he could only reply with a nervous gulp.
Blue quickly shot the stallion a disarming smile, wordlessly reassuring him that that the danger had passed as she pulled him back. “I had actually wanted you to finish telling me about your florist duties. I really want to know about these enemies you face.”
Stalwart gave a sigh of relief as he surrendered himself to Blue’s comforting touch. “Well, if you really want to know…” He was still racking his brain trying to think of something interesting.
“By all means.”
“Very well,” Stalwart sighed his defeat. “The enemies I fight are the, um, nega-plants.” That’s a good name, right?
“Nega-plants?”
“Spirits whose essence is antithetical to normal flora. They cut off the plants’ access to magic, basically starving them to death. That’s why we need earth ponies to begin with, to counter the lingering effects of the nega-plants.”
“A mild exaggeration,” Blue said in her more regal voice, “but I like it. Go on.”
Stalwart nodded. “I come from a long line of defenders, so the earth pony in my blood lets me see things that are normally invisible.”
“Without the special tools,” Blue corrected.
“Right. Because for a profession as old and important as this one, of course they’d make specialized gear so that those without ‘the sight’ can still help out,” agreed Stalwart. “Excellent world building,” he whispered to himself.
“When you write, you’re not as quiet as you believe,” Blue whispered back. Following the finishing of their drinks, she paid and the pair resumed their walk, hand-in-hand. “What else can you tell me?”
Stalwart beamed, elated to be making up a story on the fly like this. “Nega-plants, um, look like plant people. Picture a pony, but with branches growing out of their bodies and with roots for legs. The branches are all dead, of course. They embody plant death, so they’ve got no signs of life anywhere on them.”
“Makes sense.”
“What else?” he asked himself. “They’re spirits, so they need specially enchanted weapons to hurt them.”
“Are they easy to vanquish? I don’t imagine a walking tree is all that threatening.”
“Quite the opposite. On first glance, they look pretty slow, but they can actually grow out their dead branches to spear their enemies. Those branches can also flail around like whips for a pretty solid defense. Being spirits, they’re used to being invisible with most ponies walking by without noticing them, so the trick is to sneak up on them while pretending you don’t see them. Also, spirits like these are pretty single-minded. They won’t normally attack ponies or other animals unless they feel threatened. Otherwise they stick to their mission of killing all plants in their path.”
Blue nodded with a gleam in her eye. “Excellent employ of real world lore in crafting your creations.” True spirits were also notoriously single-minded, so these nega-spirits sounded like beings that could plausibly exist. “So the trick is to sneak up on them and strike when they least expect to avoid their formidable attacks. Even so, it seems at the very least they’d be easy to track.”
“They used to be,” Stalwart continued. “In the olden days, before Unification, it was just a matter of following the obvious trail of dead trees and grass. Unfortunately, the nega-plants that remain have learned from their old mistakes. Now they’ve adapted to do things like follow droughts. They can make a bad problem worse without necessarily raising any kind of alarm that might attract their killers.”
“Very clever.”
“Yes it is.” Stalwart held his chin high in pride. He then pulled Blue’s arm tight against his chest while doing his best to rest his head on the mare’s shoulder. “Am I being too clingy?”
“I don’t mind. Do you?” Stealthily, Blue brushed her fingers down along Stalwart’s flank, barely missing his cutie mark.
“Traditionalist my hoof,” Stalwart playfully chided. “You’re just putting up an act to try and get lucky with the most beautiful stallion you’ve seen all night.”
“You’re not wrong on most parts,” giggled Blue. “Although you seem to have a very high opinion of yourself.”
“The impertinence!” Stalwart scoffed. “Now you really have to buy me something nice to make up for your rudeness.”
Blue laughed and rubbed his cheek to the stallion’s. “Okay, but only because you’re cute.”
“Damn straight I am,” Stalwart agreed haughtily. At his direction, the pair veered into a jewelry shop. Unfortunately, perusing the stock on display revealed nothing that the stallion really wanted. They tried a few more shops for various trinkets, knickknacks, and anything else that might catch his eye. Nothing.
“You’re as picky as the last stallion I dated,” Blue admonished sweetly as they departed the latest store.
“Oh? What was he like?”
“Short, cute, and very introverted. He also made it tricky to shop for him.”
“In defense of both of us, maybe we’re just content with the things we have and don’t really need more stuff.”
“Then how am I supposed to buy you a present to make up for my prior rudeness?”
“Excuse me. Maybe we can help.”
The pair turned around to see a group of five mares bunched together. All five were wearing open black faux-leather jackets, which they seemed to believe made them look – as Thomas might say – edgy. The one who’d spoken was the pink unicorn in front. She had a very self-satisfied smirk as she chewed on a toothpick, immediately setting off alarm bells for the shopping pair. The other four were arranged around the leader, projecting an aura of toughness which did little to conceal the smell of cheap alcohol on their breath.
“And who might you be?” Blue asked as she maneuvered herself between Stalwart and the ponies her brain had registered as a threat.
Stalwart wanted to say he could look out for himself, but bit his tongue. He was supposed to be the sweet, traditionalist stallion, after all. And a look shared with Blue affirmed that she wanted things to play out. It had probably been some time since she’d gotten to play the hero saving the damsel in distress, and her date wanted to help make this night special.
As such, Stalwart spied the undercover guards that were already closing in, and motioned them to back off. They didn’t look happy, and he couldn’t blame them. This was exactly the sort of encounter they were supposed to prevent. However, in accommodating Luna’s love of role-play, they’d at least stay in close range if anything actually happened. The unicorn guards were already casting subtle wards on the both of them against physical damage, surprise teleportation, and a variety of other threats that well exceeded what this bunch of thugs was likely capable of. By the time the guards had finished, Stalwart reckoned that if Blue were to be hit by a pony-sized boulder launched via catapult, it’d likely be deflected back to the sender, and possibly on fire, to say nothing of simple punches and low level spells.
Moonlight made a mental note that when this was all over; she needed to expand her magical vocabulary to include some of these top notch wards.
“The name’s Cinnamon Sugar, sweetie,” the lead mare answered. “And these here are my friends. Say ‘hi’ friends.”
“Hey there.” “How ya doin’?” “Pleasure.” “‘Sup.”
“Aren’t they sweet?” Cinnamon stated more than asked. “Anyway, we overheard how bored your stallion was, and were wondering if maybe he’d like to come with us. We’ve got some experience showing stallions like him a good time.”
“It’s like they’re reading from a book of clichés,” Stalwart whispered as quietly as he could, not wanting to break the illusion of helplessness.
Blue chuckled and nodded back. “That’s nice of you to offer, but my friend doesn’t appear interested.” If these thugs were playing out of some book of clichés, then she had no problem with following this story to its logical conclusion.
“Hold on there,” Cinnamon said as she stepped in Blue’s path. “Don’t go rushing off so quick.” She motioned for her subordinates to come around and surround the pair. Conveniently enough, this boxed them in so that the only place they could go was down a dead-end alley. “That’s not very friendly of you.” And the five thugs began closing in, herding the pair down the alley.
Stalwart pressed his face into Blue’s back as his body began to shake. No doubt the thugs thought he was shaking in fear. The truth was that he was trying to stifle his laughter. You idiots have no clue what you’re dealing with. As if answering her thoughts, she saw several undercover guards close in just behind the thugs. They were still attempting to keep a low profile, but if the thugs had even half a brain cell between them, all they would have needed to do was turn around and see just how outmatched they were.
“I don’t want any trouble,” Blue insisted, sounding like she was pleading.
“Hey now, don’t be like that. We don’t mean no trouble,” Cinnamon said in the least reassuring way possible. “Like I said, all we want is to show you guys a good time.” She looked around the alley. “In fact, this seems like as good a place as any.”
“Question!” Stalwart poked his head out from behind Blue. “Sorry, just something on my mind. Completely unrelated,” she explained to the confused mares. “But can any of you define ‘sanitary’ for me?”
All five thugs looked confused, the four in back looking to their leader for answers. “What does that have to do with anything?” she demanded irately.
“Okay. That answers my question,” said Stalwart as he retreated back behind Blue. A quick look around the alley left him feeling both dirty and offended that these wannabes likely intended to engage in illicit actions in such a foul place. “Carry on.”
Blue had to struggle to contain her snorting chuckles. It was wrong of her to be wanting this. If ‘Tia ever found out, she’d never hear the end of it. Luna actually shuddered just from imagining the lecture her elder sister would beat her down with. At the same time, it had been literal ages since she’d gotten to partake of a good old fashioned back alley scrap. “There was a time,” she began, “when ponies actually expected me to do things like break up bar fights.”
“What? You some kind o’ guard?” Cinnamon asked.
“Some kind, yes,” Blue replied with a dangerous grin. “This will be your last warning. Allow my friend and I to leave unmolested, and there will be no trouble.”
“Eep!” Stalwart couldn’t help it as the feminine sound escaped his lips. He spun around to see that one of the mares had snuck up behind him and given his rump a little pinch.
“Wow, you must work out,” the blue mare said. “That’s a really nice flank.” Strangely, her words weren’t condescending, taunting, or had any kind of overt impolite tone. Under different circumstances, Stalwart might have accepted what sounded like a genuine and otherwise harmless compliment. However, considering the context, Stalwart saw no harm in giving a measured response to this violation of personal space.
Horn glowing beneath the glamour, Stalwart cast his alter-ego’s trademark spell and conjured up a floating shield. “Thank you,” he said under his breath as the confused mare gawked in surprise at the shield. “But I think you should be taught some manners!”
*CRASH*
In less than a second, the floating shield had gone from stationary to 20 kph, bodily impacting the mare and sending her flying down the alleyway. The force was non-lethal, but the bruise that would inevitably follow would not be a pretty sight.
“You punk!” Cinnamon snapped.
“Same to you,” Blue shot back, conjuring for herself a pair of large metallic gauntlets and slipping her fists inside. “You were warned,” she reminded with a sadistic grin while assuming a battle stance.
“Get ‘em!” Cinnamon ordered and her three remaining subordinates charged.
The first thug went after Stalwart. She was a light green and had styled her mane in an odd spiral shape. She had the brilliant idea of countering Stalwart’s shield spell with the lid she’d swiped off a nearby trash can. When she used her magic to hurl it like a throwing disk, Stalwart gave a light flick with his shield, easily dislodging the lid from its wielder’s grip.
“Hey,” whined the green thug. “That’s supposed to work!”
Stalwart rolled his eyes. “That level of control would be pathetic for a blank flank. What’s your excuse?”
The green mare blinked like a deer caught in the headlights. “I… Most ponies just duck down or run away,” she admitted, her tone acknowledging her shame.
“I am so very sad for you,” Stalwart replied before administering a tap to her opponent’s head. She made a funny face and dropped. “That ended faster than expected.”
“Because you don’t know how to have fun,” chastised Blue. She was exchanging blows with the yellow thug, who’d matched her conjured gauntlets by wrapping errant pieces of metal around her fists. “If you were more disciplined, you’d know how to adjust,” she narrowly dodged her enemy’s strike, “yourself to your opponent’s level.” She jumped back, hopping from hoof-to-hoof while holding her gauntlets defensively.
“Oh, I think I see what you mean,” Stalwart acknowledged.
“That way the fight lasts much longer,” Blue agreed before lunging forward. Unfortunately, her opponent must have slipped on something because she lost her hoofing. Unable to dodge, she ended up falling straight into Blue’s metallic fist. At least Blue was able to realize what was happening in time to pull her punch enough not to break anything. Still, the yellow thug dropped limply to the mucky ground.
“Uh, boss,” began the brown and final subordinate. “I think we might be outclassed here.”
“Shut up,” Cinnamon hissed. “These losers just got lucky. There’s no way they can stand against our magic.”
“We probably can,” Stalwart called informatively.
“I said shut up!”
“No thank you.”
“Grr!” Cinnamon stomped her hoof to the ground like a foal throwing a tantrum.
“I should not have this much pity for my opponent,” Stalwart stated bluntly. “Now I just feel bad, like I’m fighting ponies without arms or something.”
“Just fire already!” Cinnamon demanded while her last standing subordinate nodded frightfully.
The brown mare’s spell activated first, leading to a notable drop in temperature as ice particles orbited around her horn. Stalwart and Blue shared unimpressed looks as the seconds ticked by. For a unicorn to so blatantly broadcast their intent in the middle of a fight, they must have a lot of confidence in the spell, as well as trust in any allies to protect them during the charge time. Given the abilities of the last three thugs, the former seemed unlikely. As for the latter…
Cinnamon was also charging her spell at the same time. Based on the rise in temperature and sparks crackling around her horn, it was probably some kind of fire spell.
“Okay, I think I’m done playing,” Stalwart grumbled as he picked up a piece of trash, tested its weight, and threw it at Cinnamon’s head. The mare lost focus on her spell, leading to an explosion of hot air – but no fire – just above her head. Both mares were knocked to the ground, dazed, but conscious.
“Aww,” whined Blue. “I wanted to see what would happen.”
“Nothing. Nothing would have happened. I’m pretty sure what I did was the only reason that anything happened at all.”
“You have no appreciation for the comedy of errors,” Blue dismissed. “Fire and ice spells cast so close together would not have simply canceled out. They’d combine in ways their castors clearly have no experience in.”
“So we’d be hit by hot water?”
“Or steam. A pair of competent unicorns could have created a blast of steam that could singe flesh.”
Stalwart thought on this. “So, given their lack of competence, I might have just saved their lives?”
“Possible,” Blue acknowledged. “But you most definitely stopped us from enjoying the train wreck of a spell gone wrong.”
Stalwart blinked. “I never knew you had such a bloodlust.”
Blue shrugged. “Don’t be like that. You were curious how they’d bungle things, too.”
“Whatever.” Stalwart rolled his eyes, although his tone sounded defeated. “Still, I think that was a satisfactory diversion.”
“Does that mean we can do our jobs, now?” asked one of the ponies who’d been waiting patiently just outside the alley.
“You may,” Blue allowed. At her signal, several undercover guards poured in, extracting cuffs and horn rings from their satchels as they detained the five assailants. In no time the well-practiced guards had everything in order to bring hand these hooligans over to the city guard for proper punishment: probably a few months of mandatory therapy sessions, community service, and maybe some vocational training for good measure.
Resuming their leisurely stroll, the pair couldn’t stop themselves from excitedly giggling.
“I had forgotten how much I missed this,” Blue chortled. She held her hands before her face and took delight in the way they shook. Even compared to her date, she was far too worked up after their recent excitement.
“I thought you fought all the time.”
“Threats in the shadows are few and far between as of late. A sign that those tasked with managing them have done well, certainly, but it does lead to a certain level of tedium. As for the monsters of nightmares, those fights just feel different.”
“How so?”
“Let me think. Hmm. Perhaps it is the context. A fight with a monster is almost always to the death. There is little room for leisure or enjoyment, as such cowardly abomination will take advantage of any distraction and attempt to flee. Not to mention that the waking world feels noticeably different, especially to a master of dream walking,” Blue explained in a manner that wasn’t quite humble. “Sparring in the waking world stimulates the body in a way that dreams simply cannot match.”
“Sort of like your other exercise?” Stalwart asked with a knowing grin.
“Verily! I must ask ‘Tia if she can make time to spar as we used to.”
“Aww. Should I be jealous that your first thought isn’t to get all sweaty grappling with me?”
Blue hip checked her date. “With all due respect-”
“Which my parents told me is basically a prelude for an insult,” Stalwart cut in.
“-I will need an opponent on my level to spar properly,” Blue continued smugly. “Were it you or the others, I fear our sessions would inevitably lead to grappling of the other sort.”
Stalwart chuckled. “I have no objections.”
Blue joined him in mirth as they walked down the streets.
They perused a few shops, discussing preferred fighting techniques as they searched for the stallion’s apology gift. After some time of Stalwart shooting down all of Blue’s suggestions without offering any better suggestions, the mare decided to wrap things up and buy a pair of boxing gloves. It was a little tricky for the sales pony to figure out the right size, but eventually the stallion got himself a promise that he’d indeed get to spar with his lovely date.
“This was fun,” Stalwart decided as he tested the snug feel of the gloves on his hands. “I’m glad we did this.”
“Likewise. Although, now I’m wondering if we can make regular arrangements for ill-prepared thugs to try and ‘crash the party,’” she said carefully.
Stalwart chuckled. “I can just imagine the mountain of paperwork. The Lt. would be hunting through every book ever written to find a rule against it. Then he’d go through every psyche profile with a fine comb and pick out every reason a pony would not be qualified to appease the Princess’ voyeurism by attacking her in the street.”
Blue gave a disappointed smile, but nodded her agreement. “Perhaps. Although, when you put it that way, I think I have a new order for our next trip to Fantastic Fantasies.”
“By the stars!” Stalwart face palmed. “I’m supposed to keep your urges in check. Not encourage them!”
Blue tittered and nosed at the stallion’s neck. “Would it make you feel better to fondle my teats again?”
“Hmm. Tempting, but I’ll wait ‘til we get back to the castle.”
Blue snorted. “Spoil sport.”
“That said, I should probably thank you for sharing this experience with me.”
“Anything in particular you enjoyed?”
“Well, I wasn’t lying when I said this was a new outlook on things. For the first time since I can remember, I actually felt uncomfortable in my body.”
Blue blinked quizzically.
“It was awkward at first, but I’d decided to make the commitment and stuck with it. And you know what? Playing the stallion was a refreshing change of pace,” Stalwart explained, his voice jubilant. “I feel a little bad admitting this, but I don’t think I’ve ever really empathized with stallions as stallions, if that makes sense. I never put too much thought into how different we were; how we see and are seen differently. I mean, it’s probably for the best that I’m not trying to discriminate, but I think I’ve learned a lot walking in another pony’s horse shoes.”
Blue beamed her approval. “As old as I am, it often feels as though I have an obligation to be a teacher for the youngsters. ‘Tia took to this like a duck to water, even altering her style of rule to be hands-off whenever possible and just giving ponies the means to reach the right decisions on their own. It is certainly an appealing mindset to nurture young minds and see them reap the benefits of my imparted wisdom.”
“So I’m your student now?”
“I’m your ruler. You trust in me to offer instruction that will guide you to the best possible outcome,” Blue informed. “In that light, there seems little difference.”
“I guess I can see that,” Stalwart allowed. “But still, thank you for this experience. It was fun, and I think I learned a little something about the world.”
“Happy to help, Stalwart.” Blue’s voice was deep and seductive as she leaned up and planted a kiss on the stallion’s cheek. “I had fun, too. Perhaps, could I see you again some time?”
It didn’t take a master level arcanist to figure out Blue’s meaning. Therefore, as he wasn’t a master level arcanist, Stalwart didn’t take very long to give an answer. “Sure.”
“Is this really alright?” Thomas asked as he looked around. Despite knowing that Honey also worked at this orchard, it was still surprising to see the vast rows of trees out before him. Given that they were still on the side of a mountain, a large segment had been cut out of the rock face to create a step system with different crops set up on each of the different levels.
“Sure is,” Honey assured. “Talked it over with the ‘boss.’ She says so long as ya put in the work, yer welcome here.”
“Okay, yes,” Thomas listed somewhat distractedly. “But what am I supposed to do, exactly?” He looked around again, this time at the other ponies. All were wearing aprons with the Crescent Produce’s logo of a basket of fruit under a crescent moon on the front, but little else. Most were earth ponies, as was to be expected. They came in all shapes and sizes with Honey being in the upper tier of bigness, but there was no denying where the human lay on that line. “I’m pretty sure I’m the smallest one here.”
“Size don’t matter. It’s how ya do the work that counts,” Honey countered matter-of-factly.
Thomas blinked. “You know what you just said, right?”
“Course Ah do. Now get yer butt in gear. Ah got a lot o’ ropes ta show mah new assistant.”
Following after the big mare, Thomas wasn’t entirely certain she’d heard her own innuendo.
It had seemed odd at the time when Honey had suggested they’d use their quasi-night off to do what he and many others considered to be work. However, besides being non-confrontational in general, and having no better suggestions, Thomas rationalized that this might make a good life experience. He’d only ever worked in the service industry before coming to Equestria, but had always found more menial tasks pretty stimulating. And with the lack of a bright sun beating him down from on high, he saw no real reason why he couldn’t at least give the orchard a shot.
“Hey Dug,” Honey greeted the pegasus mare with a clipboard.
“Hello Honey,” the pegasus replied. Her accent sounded more ‘normal’ to Thomas, neither being rich and posh nor having Honey’s southern twang. She was probably Canterlot middle class or something. The nametag on her apron read Dugout. “This your new trainee?” She motioned to Thomas who waved back.
“Sort of. Ah thought Ah’d expand his horizons by showin’ him how the other half live. See how ponies spend their time when they ain’t rich enough ta kiss plot in the castle all night.”
Dug shrugged her acceptance. “Well management approved, so I guess I can’t argue. I got the impression they’re hoping for another voice in the Princess’ ear.”
“Probably. Any who, got that spare apron?”
Dug nodded. “It’s hanging up in the locker room.”
“Nice. Anythin’ special ya want me doin’ tonight, or do Ah jus’ do my usual rounds?”
“Your usual routine should be fine. The way management put it, they’ve wisely decided to be as hands-off as possible and trust you to give the trainee a favorable opinion of us.”
“Ah’ll do what I can.”
As Honey walked off, Dug made sure to call out behind her, “Remember the fate of the company is in your hands. Don’t buck this up.”
Not even looking back, Honey waved farewell to Dug, her hand balled into a fist and her middle finger extended.
“Does she know what that means?” Thomas asked.
“No,” Honey snickered. “Did Ah do it right?”
He smiled back at her. “If I’m understanding the context right, then you pulled it off like a pro.”
Honey grinned from ear-to-ear. “She’s jus’ funnin’ with me. The bosses are kinda bendin’ over ta do a faver fer ya, but Ah don’t think anypony really expects anythin’ big ta come of it.”
Moving his feet rapidly to keep pace with the big mare’s longer strides, Thomas attempted a wistful look as they approached a large beige building. “So this is what its like to have others brownnose me.”
Honey cocked her head sideways. “Ah thought them snooty petitioners at the castle did that all the time.”
“Correction,” Thomas conceded. “This is what it’s like to have others brownnose me in a way that isn’t annoying. Still completely transparent, but so far it’s actually pretty effective in that I actually feel kinda welcome.”
The building was mostly a warehouse with crates stacked almost four stories high. Pegasi and unicorns handled moving crates marked with various produce up and down the stacks while the earth ponies handled the horizontal movements across the floor. Carts pulled by teams of pegasi flew their cargo in and out from what was likely the hanger area. Keeping close to Honey, Thomas let his eyes wander to take in the sights as ponies chatted and went about their tasks. He saw one unicorn cast a spell that caused the crate to briefly flash, only for a second unicorn and a pair of pegasi to lift it skywards.
“Preservation spell,” Honey explained succinctly. “Canterlot imports most ‘f its food, but bein’ made in Canterlot gives ‘em an excuse ta jack up the prices fer exports.”
Thomas nodded. “Because growing in the light of Celestia’s sun is somehow different here than anywhere else,” he offered cheekily.
“Cheater. Ya’ll saw the advert, didn’t ya.”
“I actually didn’t.”
“Seriously? That was almost word-for-word.”
Thomas shrugged. “It just seemed like an obvious slogan. Fancy while playing on the consumers’ desire for nice things.”
“Ah think the human definition fer ‘obvious’ is different from the pony version.”
“Probably.”
The pair followed the wall until they reached the ‘Employee’s Lounge’. It was set up like any other worker break area with tables and chairs arranged like a restaurant, counters with shelves and coffee makers, and a few refrigerators. Adjacent to the main room were the lockers. Thomas deduced that Honey’s locker was the one with the miniature sized apron hanging in front.
On a whim, as Honey undid her lock and removed her own apron, Thomas held his up for comparison. “It’s like I got a baby apron.”
Honey quickly shushed him. “Don’t say things like that,” she chided in a stage whisper. “Ya never know what kind o’ filthy blabbermouth might be listenin’.” She looked past Thomas, meeting they eyes of a pegasus mare who was making coffee on the other side of the room. “Yeah, that’s right. I see them ears perkin’, Aqua Sprinkle,” she accused.
“I hope you weren’t directing those implications at me,” Aqua said with an indignant huff. “Honestly! It’s getting so a mare can’t perk her ears without everypony accusing her of this and that.”
Honey rolled her eyes. “Oh please. Everypony knows yer the biggest gossip around.”
“You’re one to talk. Spreading unfounded rumors like that is also gossip, you know.”
Honey chuckled. “Yeah, whatever. Hey, instead o’ lurkin over there like a creeper, how ‘bout ya come over ‘n’ meet the new guy yerself.”
Aqua snorted and marched forward, while struggling to keep the smirk off of her face. “Fine, but not because you told me to.”
Using his in-depth knowledge of pony behavior, which he’d accumulated after months of living and bedding with them, Thomas, the foremost expert on ponies that humanity has ever known, deduced that these mares were on good terms with one another and were just screwing around.
“Hey there little guy.” Aqua extended her hand for Thomas to take. “Name’s Aqua. Nice to meet ya.”
Thomas squeezed her hand as hard as he could, hoping to at least not disappoint the farmer with his weakness. “Thomas, and nice to meet you.” He forced himself to look up at her eyes and not notice the way one breast was poking out the side of her apron. Such a wardrobe malfunction was most likely a result of laziness and not a sexual invitation. “You two know each other long?”
“Aqua got stuck with showin’ me the ropes when Ah first started workin’ here.”
Aqua whickered. “Yeah, sure. Assign the mare who’s only been working the orchard a couple months to train a pony who literally grew up on one. Our expert managers in peak form, as ever.”
Thomas chuckled. If he closed his eyes, he could almost hear the eye roll in her tone. “Nice to see gripes against the higher ups are a universal thing.”
“I really shouldn’t, though,” Aqua countered. “They’re a lot better than some of my older bosses. If you know what you’re doing, they usually leave you alone.”
“They’re alright,” agreed Honey. She paused to check the clock. “About time we sign in ‘n’ get you started,” she said while giving Thomas an encouraging shove.
Although he kept quiet, he hoped that Aqua wouldn’t take this as an invitation to do the same. Being touched by strangers still irked him. Thankfully the winged mare just took the lead to the check-in station and pressed her thumb down on a sheet of paper. It glowed and a nearby pen levitated itself to write down her name and the time.
“Fancy,” Thomas remarked. “I wonder why the harem doesn’t have one of these.” He doubted Honey knew, but was still curious.
“Fewer ponies means more accountability,” Honey reasoned as she signed in. “Harder ta weasel yer way out o’ bein’ late.”
“Fair enough,” Thomas conceded. He pressed his own thumb to the paper and watched the pen repeat the signing in process. Magic still captivated him, especially when he watched its use in new, unexpected ways. Like anything new, he knew he’d eventually lose that sense of awe as the wondrous became mundane. Either that, or watching things sparkle and float would hold his attention forever.
Wearing his apron and nametag over his clothes, Thomas continued following close behind Honey. “Alright. First day of my temporary job. What do I need to know?”
“So far jus’ follow mah lead. Ain’t too complicated, but ya better be able ta keep up.”
Walking behind her through the trees, Thomas gave a mock salute. “No promises.”
“First order o’ business is ta drop that negative attitude,” Honey chided. “Ya’ll been trainin’ with a Princess fer months. Surely that’s gotta have built yer endurance a little.”
Thomas chuckled, but stoically replied, “We can only hope, and pray.”
The mare beside him snorted. “Yer too weird.”
Moving through the orchard, Thomas watched the outdoor ponies at work to get a better idea of what would be expected of him. There were the tree kickers doing as their name implied, applying just the right level of force into the trees to jostle the apples loose into buckets below. From there, the buckets were loaded onto carts and carried into the warehouse for processing. Given all that he knew, these jobs seemed perfectly ordinary to the human’s eyes. Of greater interest were the jobs he’d never seen depicted on the show before.
Thomas pointed to a group of earth ponies who seemed to be tilling the earth. Each carried a metal rod that wasn’t actually a shovel or rake, though. The rods looked more like spears with elaborate ornamentation on the stabby ends and shafts, and glowing green spheres half the size of a pony’s head on the back. The wielders of these spears would stab into the ground for a seemingly arbitrary period of time before moving onto a different spot. “What are they doing?”
“Fertelizin’.”
Thomas blinked. “Okay, you lost me. I’m no expert in farming, but doesn’t fertilizer require mulch and, well, manure?”
“In a regular field, sure. But this ain’t exactly normal apple growin’ terrain. The elevation, climate, ‘n’ even the kind o’ soil ‘r’ all wrong. So the city o’ all knowing unicorns calls in the earth ponies ta do what they can’t ‘n’ make the impossible happen,” Honey explained with no shortage of pride. “We make the land livable.”
Thomas turned back to the fertilizing ponies with newfound intrigue, even if he still had no idea what was happening. “So you guys can make anywhere farmable?”
Despite being pleased as punch with Thomas’ perfectly warranted respect for the brilliance of earth ponies, Honey felt obligated to set a few things straight. “With enough pony power, ya could dig a canal from one end o’ the continent ta the other, but that don’t make it practical. If ya wanna do somethin’ like that, its easiest to go where the land’s the thinnest. See what Ah’m sayin’?”
Thomas nodded as he considered. “So you just make places more livable than they would be.”
“Exactly,” Honey beamed. “See how those ponies aren’t wearin’ our aprons?” They were actually wearing white shirts with pictures on the front and back showing a seedling sprouting out of the dirt. “Well, they’re actually a team o’ professional dowsers that our company contracts to help keep these farms goin’. Those rods they use are called dowsin’ rods. ‘Esides findin’ water, they’re also handy in readin’ where the magic in the ground is at its weakest, or jus’ uneven. The dowsers then pump their own magic straight into the soil ta make things more level.”
Increasingly fascinated with this new find, Thomas wanted to know more. “So will they have to do this forever? Regular farms do things like rotate crops to keep the soil from getting overworked, right. So will this farm always need dowsers to come by to help the apple trees grow where they really shouldn’t?”
“Kinda,” Honey admitted. “Ah think this farm was first opened more ‘n’ a decade ago. Back then, there was a whole mess ‘f dowsers out here every day ‘n’ night. The company imported special soil, ‘n’ there was all kinds of red tape ta get through fer the pegasi ta get the weather juuus’ right. Now the weather’s all broken in. It’s figured out what we’re tryin’ ta do ‘n’ don’t put up as much ‘f a fight no more. With that ‘n’ all the soil replacement, we only need dowsers ta come by every other week. Ah actually hear the bosses ‘r’ plannin’ on cuttin’ that time ta twice a month. That said, this place still ain’t fit fer what we’re doin’, so dowsers’ll always need ta come by.”
Still walking, Thomas continued staring at the dowsers.
Honey whispered into his ear. “Unicorns like ta think they’ve got the only real magic ‘cause they can turn their farts into daisies. Ain’t a one that knows how ta turn the land green like an earth pony.”
“Can you do that?” Thomas asked.
“… wat?”
“Can you do that?” He motioned to the dowsers. “Do you know how to… dowse? Is that the word?”
“It is, but nah. That sorta thing is, well… Ya know how they say that Twilight Sparkle filly is a prodigy? She can do stuff most unicorns jus’ can’t.”
Thomas nodded.
“Well, those guys are sorta like the Twilight o’ earth ponies. Sure, any earth pony could pick up a dowsin’ rod like any unicorn could with her magic. But there’s a difference between liftin’ a stick ‘n’ liftin’ a space bear, if ya know what Ah’m sayin’.”
Thomas smiled up at the green mare. “I don’t care what anyone else says. You’ve really got a way with words.”
“Aww, that’s so cute,” Honey cooed, smiling her brightest as she messed his hair. “You think Ah’ll let ya get away with that.”
The mare’s tone made the human tense. While he knew full well that she was as strong as she looked, he also knew that their friendship prevented her from causing lasting damage. Even so, the list of harem-approved methods of retaliation was distressingly long. Worse, the odds were high that one or more of the others would only offer opposition until they were invited to participate. He shuddered just thinking about his impending doom.
“Anyhow, we’re here,” Honey declared, stopping below a sign that read Grove 15. “Let’s see about getting’ ya’ll ta sweat doin’ some actual work.”
His dread momentarily pushed aside, Thomas kept pace with Honey in her tasks. He started out by arranging the buckets beneath where the apples appeared to grow in clusters, almost as if for the convenience of their harvesters. Honey did her thing, delivering a roundhouse kick into the tree with enough force that Thomas felt it in his teeth. He had the feeling that it was well within the mare’s power to cleave the tree in two, but all that happened was a brief rain of red fruit. Although most apples refused to budge.
“That’s another reason why Ah’m not a dowser,” Honey continued as the pair of them loaded the buckets into a nearby cart. “Remember all them lessons we had so Ah’ wouldn’t crush yer small, supple li’l body? Well, a real dowser’d already know how ta do that ‘n’ then some. Tree kickin’ ain’t nothin’ compared ta keepin’ the magic in the soil level.”
Thomas hummed thoughtfully.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Nuh uh. That weren’t no nothin’ hum. That was a somethin’ hum.” It was clear from Honey’s tone that she had made up her mind that something was amiss and would not relent until she figured out what that was.
Thomas shrugged in defeat. “It’s stupid. I was just thinking how come you get to say stuff about me being weak, but I can’t, you know, say stuff about you.”
Honey blinked as she led the way to the next tree in line. “But… ya can. Ya jus’ did a li’l bit ago.”
“Yeah, but then you said I wouldn’t get away with it,” Thomas explained as he set up the new buckets.
“‘N’ Ah meant it to. You gonna be walkin’ funny next time we have ourselves a ride,” she said matter-of-factly while delivering her kick.
Thomas pursed his lips. Normally he’d have dropped the subject by now and just let things be, but Honey still gave him that unsatisfied, inquisitive look. There were answers to be had and she wouldn’t stop until they were in her clutches. So Thomas took a breath and spat it out. “Well, I guess I just kinda, sorta, feel that’s a little… unfair.” His manner might have been as wishy-washy as they come, but spitting all that out still felt like an accomplishment. Now all he had to do was wait for the consequences of his words.
“Yeah,” Honey replied as though it were obvious. “If that’s how ya feel, then make us even.”
“What?”
“Ya’ll don’t like me teasin’ ya fer bein’ weak? What’re ya gonna do about it?”
“Uh…”
“How ya gonna make me pay fer what I did? Go on. Tell me what you’ll do ta put me in mah place.”
They had already cleared the last tree before walking over to the next one.
“Give it time. Ah’ll be patient.” Her words were oddly encouraging.
As he moved from tree-to-tree, transporting filled buckets to the cart and empty buckets to the trees, Thomas’ introversion took hold and ran away with his thoughts. She’s making me face it, he reasoned. Instead of avoiding something that I’m not comfortable with, she’s making me face it head on. Objectively, it made sense. Conflict avoidance had its place, but too much led to coddling and eventually an inability to deal with real world issues. We scrape our knees as kids to prepare ourselves for worse pains later, he reasoned.
But if that’s the case, then are Luna and Moonlight actually doing wrong by being soft with me? It was an unpleasant thought, to be sure. Even if it were true, obviously any harm that might have resulted would be unintentional, not that he’d noticed any harm anyway. They cared too much for him, and that was an objective fact. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions. He had enough references from the human world to know some of the social ills that had been born out of the desire to be kind. Fluttershy and her upcoming encounter with the breezies was by far the tamest thing he could think of for when brutality was kinder than coddling.
Honey’s trying to help, Thomas told himself. She was making him stand up for himself against someone he already felt safe with. The setting was new, and therefore uncomfortable, but that wasn’t necessarily bad. Detaching himself from the moment and thinking of his situation like a game, he was merely taking on a necessary challenge to build his resistance and boost his stats. It was a silly analogy, but it made sense to him.
Coming back to reality, Thomas looked back to see they’d already gotten through a further ten trees. It was like his body had gone on autopilot while his brain did its own thing. He stopped himself from thinking too much on any deeper meaning behind his actions, lest he lose himself in thought once more. His wrists hurt a little, but he dismissed that as him failing to properly carry the buckets. What mattered now was completing the task Honey had set out for him.
“Tonight’s actually a slow night,” Honey spoke up, making conversation. “We’re jus’ trimmin’ some o’ the excess apples so the trees don’t get weighed down. Real harvest ain’t fer a few more weeks. We’ll be havin’ our full crew when that happens.”
Thomas looked around, only now realizing how alone they were. He could see other ponies, but the nearest was over twenty yards away and working by himself. “You’re only a part timer, right?”
“E’yup.”
It made sense when he put the pieces together. This place seemed to meet the definition of a factory farm. Workers came in as needed, with a regular staff supported by part timers. Given what he’d seen in the show, apple trees in Equestria produced enough fruit to allow multiple harvesting periods per year. That meant that these fields most likely ran on skeleton crews between harvests. Thomas winced sympathetically as he imagined what it must be like for the lowly part timer grasping for every available shift to have those few extra bits in their pocket.
“What’ch’ya thinkin’ ‘bout?”
“How similar pony society is to humans. The differences are still pretty obvious, but it’s also kinda funny how a lot of things are almost exactly the same. Like how you have a magic sign in sheet while we use machines all to do the same thing.”
“That is funny,” Honey agreed evenly. “So, think up some consequences fer me yet?”
Thomas looked away as he carried another bucket of apples to the cart. He got the feeling Honey was deliberately moving slower than she normally would, but even then she would load four buckets for every one of his. The cart had filled up by now, so Honey went to the front to grab the handle and haul it back to the warehouse. Thomas followed alongside. He felt any effort to help push would just look pathetic, but still hated the idea of just doing nothing. He hoped Honey would save him from this dilemma.
“Ya gonna help ‘r’ what?” Honey motioned to her side where she was pushing the cart’s handle.
Thankful, Thomas hurried over to the mare’s side and took position. Pushing with all his might, he doubted he was making much of a difference, but it still felt better than doing nothing.
“Huh,” the mare hummed. “That’s somethin’.”
“What?”
“This got lighter than Ah expected. Ya’ll ‘r’ stronger than ya look,” she informed plainly, giving him a friendly smirk. “Guess all that buckin’ is really payin’ off.”
Thomas managed a small smile and nodded, forcing himself not to think that Honey was just saying things to be nice.
“But that still don’t let either ‘f us off the hook,” she warned. “Ya’ll were right when ya said it weren’t fair that only one o’ us gets ta tease the other. So, as yer friend, ya owe it ta me ta give as good as ya get.”
Thomas smiled flatly. “Do I really?”
“If ya don’t, then Ah’ll feel like Ah’m bullyin’ ya. If’n mah Ma ever found out Ah was pickin’ on a pipsqueak like you, she’d tan mah hide so hard Ah wouldn’t be able ta sit fer a month. ‘N’ that’s jus’ if she was feelin’ nice enough ta save me from pa. He’d get the lash.”
Thomas cringed. He was glad the others had let him abstain from the more painful bondage sessions, but what Honey described sounded even worse. “Maybe we could just, ya know, not do consequences?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Honey asked, almost whining. “Ah want a excuse ta get a li’l rough ‘n’ make yer hips sore. So ya’ll need ta do somethin’ back so we’re equal.”
“That… doesn’t sound all that healthy.”
Honey scoffed. “Probably read that in some prissy study by an even prissier unicorn sayin’ how we all need ta be all soft ‘n’ prissy all the time.” She hocked a mighty loogi and spat a respectable distance. “Life outside the city is tough, so us country ponies gotta be tougher. Ya’ll wanna be tough too, right?”
Thomas didn’t answer, but kept his eyes on Honey’s.
“Ya don’t like when Ah call ya weak ‘cause ya don’t like feelin’ weak. If ya wanna feel strong, ya gotta do strong things, things ya thought ya couldn’t. Ah pushed ya, so ya’ll gotta push me back. We keep pushin’ on each other ‘n’ make ourselves tough. Ya follow?”
Thomas gave a measured nod. Honey really was trying to help him, and her logic made sense. He’d watched plenty of shows where they said toughness was all about attitude. So while he could never hope to match ponies in strength – except maybe Silver – he could still act the part and not be such a pushover all the time. That, he reasoned, was what Honey was trying to achieve. The response to such an earnest effort to help was painfully obvious. However, it took an equally painful amount of effort to force himself to actually say the words out in the open.
“Thank you.”
Honey lightly hip-checked her friend. “Ah ain’t done nothin’ yet. Ah’m still waitin’ ta hear what you’ll do.”
Once more, Thomas nodded and went back to thinking while his body went on autopilot. He barely paid attention as they traded the heavy cart for one full of empty buckets and headed back to where they’d left off. Violence is out of the question. That much was obvious from the get-go. He hated the idea of inflicting or receiving pain. Besides, what Honey was planning sounded more like she’d exhaust him doing something they both liked, so it wouldn’t be fair to actually hurt her back. She’d probably think it was, but only if I were one of her pony friends who could actually dish it out.
Doing something sex themed sounded like an equitable consequence, but nothing good came to mind. Going in without lube was too mean-spirited, and there was no hope of matching the big mare for strength or endurance. And I can’t ask the others for help. According to his arbitrary interpretation of the rules for this challenge, he had to come up with something on his own before they went back to the castle.
“Ah’d rule out arm wrestlin’,” Honey offered idly. “Ya’ll wouldn’t stand a chance, there.”
Thank you for stating the painfully obvious, Thomas thought impolitely.
“‘N’ actually pushin’ me wouldn’t do much, either. Ah’m a li’l too big fer that.”
Which I already figured out! Thomas was starting to get impatient.
“So,” Honey paused dramatically, “if’n ya can’t fight me like a pony, Ah guess ya oughta try fightin’ some other way.”
Thomas blinked, rethinking his strategy. She means fight the human way. My way. Except the human way wasn’t all that different from how ponies fought. Punching, kicking, weapons… A farm girl would probably be familiar with biting. Wait, no. He was still parsing it out, but he was starting to get Honey’s meaning. Not the human way. She wants me to fight MY way, the Thomas way.
Thinking objectively, this seemed like the best way to meet the terms of the challenge and prove himself tough to the walking mountain of muscle. He needed to come up with a means of retaliating with something unique to him. And although this made sense on a conceptual level, the human now faced the same conundrum with a new outlook. What can I do that’s unique to me? What’s even unique about me that doesn’t totally suck?
These were not the easiest questions for a person of his mental state to answer. If Moonlight were here, she’d say the usual supportive girlfriend stuff, like he was kind and smart. Thomas’ pessimistic side countered that he was being appeasing as a consequence of his timidity. As for being smart, well… He certainly knew things that ponies didn’t. He hadn’t exactly worked hard to achieve that knowledge, but there really wasn’t a counter argument for why being more familiar than others with certain topics couldn’t be considered smart.
Okay, so at least I’m not stupid, he concluded. Where does that get me? As so often happened, his mind turned to shows and movies he had voraciously devoured over his youth in place of socializing. When those characters met with this sort of problem, the answer was usually that they had a different perspective. Being an outsider, they saw things differently than the locals. Even Honey had said that what’s obvious is different for ponies and humans. So what’s obvious for me that isn’t for them? What’s something that’s unique to me that I can turn into leverage against Honey? That last thought made him feel a little squicky. It didn’t matter that she had a physical advantage over him. The idea of holding leverage over someone, especially a guy over a girl, just felt wrong.
Yet despite the human’s inner turmoil, he actually found that he was enjoying himself working. The labor was steady without being overwhelming. It felt good to physically exert himself. He’d even tried setting little challenges for himself, like reducing the rate of buckets carried to three of Honey’s to every one of his. With each new tree, it felt like he was getting a little bit closer.
Honey pulled a canteen from the cart. “Drink?”
Thomas nodded and accepted. The liquid was ice cold despite the absence of any hard ice chunks. It was amazingly refreshing as it poured down his gullet, making the human aware just how hot his body had gotten. Had he really been working that hard? More so, had he been enjoying his workout so much that he’d lost track of time? The heaviness of his breathing and the slight burning in his limbs suggested this to be so.
Honey took the canteen after Thomas had had his fill and finished it off. “One o’ the perks o’ workin’ with one o’ these bigger companies is they give out free cold water.”
“I once worked at a place that would actually bring food for certain holidays.”
Honey snorted. “Lucky.”
“Any other perks I should be aware of? In case I decide to part time here?” Thomas felt a flicker of an idea begin to form. Something about perks.
Honey did not suspect that her dear friend was currently contemplating her doom. “Let’s see here. There’s benefits fer medical ‘n’ dental, a fifteen minute break every couple hours, half hour lunch… Oh, ‘n’ sometimes they hold these fundraisers fer whenever their employee’s fall on hard times, like if they lose their house ‘r somethin’.”
“That sounds nice of them.” Then Thomas cynically added, “Great way to buy some public relations.”
“Sure is,” agreed Honey. “Why d’ya ask?”
“Well, I was just thinking about some of the perks in the harem.”
“We get paid ta buck the Princess,” Honey deadpanned. “Askin’ fer more is jus’ plain greedy.”
“Maybe, but some of the perks at my old jobs were paid for out of pocket by the managers. Sometimes even other employees would buy some boxes of doughnuts and just leave them out on the table for everyone to have. And since I’m senior concubine, I was thinking I ought to do something like that to show my appreciation for everyone.” Thomas kept his expression even as his diabolical plan coalesced.
“That’s… nice,” Honey said skeptically. “Ah wouldn’t say no ta some free doughnuts.”
“Me neither, but that’s too generic. The harem’s a lot more intimate than some retail store, so the out of pocket perks should reflect that,” Thomas explained. “I was thinking of going to the castle masseuse and learning some more advanced techniques.”
“Advanced how?”
“I don’t know yet. There’s probably some special methods to get the kinks out of stiff shoulders or tired f-hooves,” he amended. “The professionals will still be able to do more than any amateur ‘cause, you know,” he held up his hand, “bigger and all; but I like the idea of Luna coming in after a hard night’s work, sitting on the edge of the bed, and I just massage all her problems away.”
“Aww,” Honey cooed. “That’s so sweet.”
“We could even try working it into our,” Thomas chuckled and quickly surveyed the mostly empty orchard, “usual sessions. We’d take breaks after a bit to hydrate, and I could go around making sure everyone’s feeling loose. Pretty sure Luna could do something with her magic, but I think the personal touch better reflects the spirit of the harem.”
Honey cooed once more. “Moonlight found herself a good’n. Ain’t too many stallions’d take that kind o’ time ta tend ta their mares.” She smiled sweetly at the little guy. “Ya know, yer really sw-hey, wait a minute!” she reeled, finally catching on that something was amiss.
Thomas’ grin was small, but unquestionably sadistic. Honey looked shocked and just a little bit frightened at what was coming. He felt a little bad about wielding this kind of power over her. Hopefully his plan wouldn’t exceed her expectations. “Well, it’s like I said about the professional masseuses,” he continued nonchalantly. “Pony hands are just better equipped and dealing with those extra stiff muscles, probably.”
“Y-yeah?”
“Not to mention that an amateur could just as easily do more good than harm, so there’ll probably be a whole list of things they’ll say I shouldn’t even try.”
“Uh huh.” A sinking pit in Honey’s stomach made her fear she already knew where this was going.
“So, while everyone else is getting the full body massages from the tiny stallion they inexplicably have the hots for…” Thomas let the pause go on for far longer than was necessary. “I figure there’s no point for a weakling like me to even bother with a tough-as-nails earth pony. They’ve all got muscles like rocks, at least in my limited experience, so I doubt anything I can do would even be felt. Maybe I’ll think of something else.” He shrugged noncommittally, pretending he’d said nothing out of the ordinary.
“Oh, youuu,” Honey growled. “You… you rotten li’l cuss! You sneaky, underhanded…” Her jaw snapped shut as her tirade halted. “Ma would send me a paddlin’ through the mail if’n she found out Ah was talkin’ to a stallion like that. But you really is a rotten li’l cuss.”
Thomas shrugged his indifference, still waiting on her real verdict.
Honey snorted and delivered an extra bone shaking kick into the next tree. It left a bit of a mark. “Ya’ll need ta warn a pony ‘efore ya take out the big swords,” she said with a slight upwards curl of her mouth. “Ah like it.”
“You do?” Of all the reactions Thomas expected, those words were not on the list.
“Ah mean Ah hate it. Pretty sure that’s what they call a…” She snapped her fingers as she thought. “Unfair? Uneven?”
“Disproportionate?”
“That’s the one! Yeah, that was definitely dis-pro-portion-ate,” she enunciated carefully, “ta what I was plannin’. Pullin’ somethin’ like that’s jus’ downright evil. Honestly, Ah’m a li’l impressed.”
Thomas allowed himself a triumphant smirk, the highest tier of shit-eating grins. “I’m glad you approve,” he said as they continued their work.
“You ain’t bein’ serious though, right?” Honey’s words sounded pleading.
“I don’t know,” Thomas replied, exaggerating his voice to sound more cutesy and childlike. He hoped it sounded as insufferable to her as it did to him. “I guess I’m as serious as you.”
Honey narrowed her eyes to dangerous slits. “You’s a dangerous li’l feller. All sweet ‘n’ soft lookin’ on the outside, but inside ya could put the forces o’ darkness through their paces with yer schemin’.”
“There’s an idea,” Thomas remarked. “Maybe Luna will let me hold a seminar for how to be a better villain. Lesson one: full frontal assault should be delayed until you understand your enemy better, or as a diversion while you go after the real threat. Otherwise the good guys know exactly where to aim the power that’s kept them in charge for so long.”
A snorty chuckled escaped Honey’s forced scowl. From what she remembered of history class, that advice would have helped a lot of would-be conquerors. She was half joking when she’d called the little guy dangerous, but now she wasn’t so sure.
***
Meanwhile, in a dark room somewhere in Canterlot, a naked mare was staring down at a crystal ball and doing her best to keep her ears from pivoting forward. Granted, she was alone, and so no pony would notice such a reaction, yet giving such an obvious tell flew in the face of all that she had been trained for. Regardless, just thinking about what she’d heard made her blood boil.
Even as a joke, giving such advice to Equestria’s enemies was bordering on treason. However, the mare in the dark room kept herself calm. She imagined reporting this to her boss and him lecturing her about controlling her temper. ‘It’s just a joke’ he’d argue. ‘Even if it weren’t it’s not like something like that could ever happen.’
Such thinking was frustrating for the mare. It was precisely their job to consider such improbable scenarios, which was why the human always got under her skin. He was such an unknown factor with seemingly limitless potential in the harm he could cause. And as much as she wanted to put an end to that threat here and now, she knew that was not her place. Her boss was her boss for a reason, and he had counseled restraint and passive observation.
‘The human is a fount of knowledge,’ Firestorm would say. ‘If he is to be our enemy, best we learn everything we can before making our move.’
The mare nodded at her reasoning. She further imagined Firestorm’s reaction to the suggestion, itself. He’d probably spend the next week going over old war records and postulating how things might have gone if those old monsters had taken the humans advice. Those theories would be written down and sent to his superiors, leading to an extended back-and-forth as everypony threw their hat into the debate. Thus, while management kept itself busy, it would be on her to take over primary monitoring duty. She was loyal and would do as she was told. She would do whatever it took to protect Equestria, even from the naivety of the Princesses.
***
Thomas and Honey continued their work in relative silence, which suited the latter just fine. He was comfortable with the silence, letting his mind wander while he put his body through its paces. He wasn’t pushing himself like at the gym, but still taking a kind of satisfaction from the growing ache in his muscles. The ache, as he saw it, meant he was exercising properly, which gave him a sense of accomplishment. This was compounded by the distraught and flummoxed look on the green mare’s face as she struggled to come up with a retort to his earlier declaration. All in all, the human was having a good time.
“Dern it! Ya got me boxed in.”
“How so?”
“I,” she huffed, “want ta… No.”
“Want to what?”
“Nothin’.”
“That didn’t work when I tried it on you,” Thomas countered, riding the high of his achievements. “What’s eating you?”
“Not you, fer one,” she snorted.
Thomas looked around. “We can fix that. How clean are the bathrooms around here?” His grin was highly punchable.
“Ugh! Yer jus’ makin’ it worse.”
“Then tell me how to make it better.”
“No. ‘Cause then that’ll make it worse.”
“How?” When Honey didn’t answer right away, Thomas pulled back and attempted a softer tone. “You know I just want to help, right?”
Honey snorted dismissively. “‘Cause its yer job.”
“My dad used to say that if you can find a job you love, you’ll never have to work another day in your life.” He paused and assumed a proud pose. “And I’m here to say I enjoy what I do so much that I haven’t done a lick of work since I got here.”
Honey snorted again, this time out of amusement. “Ya’ll make it real hard ta stay mad at ya. Ya know that, right.”
“It is one of many personal flaws that I have made peace with,” he deadpanned back.
“Okay, fine! Ya wanna know what’s eatin’ me? Ah’m tryin’ ta figure out how Ah can weasel out o’ our deal. That’s borderin’ on dishonest, but Ah really don’t wanna be left out o’ the massages.” Her pitch heightened to a petulant whine. “This sucks.”
Thomas walked right up to the mare. No matter how much she looked away, he repeatedly inserted himself into her field of vision, smiling in the manner that these mares seemed to like. Eventually she relented and didn’t look away, never suspecting he was hatching yet another devious plan.
“Then how about we trade?”
“Trade what?”
“Punishments,” he replied evenly. “It can be like forgiving each other’s debts. That way, assuming I actually learn to give massages as good as I think, you’ll get to enjoy them, and I’ll get to keep the feeling in my legs.”
Honey chuckled. “Ya realize yer kinda doomed ta lose that anyway, right?”
“As soon as I said it, yes,” admitted the human. “But this way it won’t be taken out of malice or something.”
Honey then grabbed for the diminutive human, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. It was unclear whether or not it was intentional that his head was smooshed against her breast, but she definitely meant to deliver the noogies of inescapable hair messing. Nearly thirty seconds of combing this morning reduced to naught, all so that the mare could scrape her knuckles along his scalp. “Yer a nut,” she teased. “Ah can’t say that enough.”
The little guy fought his hardest to pull free, but all the might at his disposal was more of a suggestion to the stronger mare. When he was let go, it was on her terms, and they both knew it. Small bouts of banter were had here and there. A few other workers were brave enough to approach and ask the human a few questions, but nothing regarding Luna or the harem. Whether or not they had tried such questions on Honey was uncertain, but they seemed to understand the protocol. It was only a short, six hour shift, for which the human was grateful to finally leave.
“I hope I’m not too sore tomorrow,” he half joked.
“Same. If ya are, they’ll all blame me fer wearin’ ya out ‘efore they get a chance.”
“Oh well,” he sighed, resigned to his fate. “I guess they’ll just have to take out their frustrations on you.”
Honey shrugged. “Could be worse,” she admitted, trying not to smirk.
“Thanks for bringing me out here.” Thomas gave the orchard one last look around as they made for the exit. “When you’re not doing it every night, regular work is actually kind of fun.”
“Ah had fun, too.” She pulled him close, pressing his side to her hip. “Now the real kicker’ll be gettin’ ol’ big blue out here. Won’t that be a hoot!”
They took a taxi from the castle so as to keep a low profile. The night air was warm enough, but there were complications that the human did not foresee, yet still found rather amusing as he eyed the pony sized gym bag.
“Something the matter?”
Thomas looked up and met the mare’s eyes. “I get the towels, but how come you’ve got a change of clothes, too?”
Blue Sapphire’s face scrunched in cute puzzlement.
“I get me, obviously. I might be used to going around in what’s basically underwear all the time, but I’ll need a change so I can dry. Why exactly do you need a swimsuit and a change of clothes?”
Blue tilted her head, causing her ears to flop adorably, which may or may not have been deliberate. “I don’t see what the problem is. This may be my first trip to a public pool, but my research shows this to be perfectly in line with social norms.”
He gestured at the mare sitting across from him, motioning desperately for her to see the source of his befuddlement. When it became apparent that she would not, he gave a defeated groan and declared, “But you’re naked right now!”
Blue looked down to confirm that, indeed, she was butt naked. The taxi must have hit a pothole or something, because the resultant jostle caused her ample bosom to bounce most excellently. “Yes. But I’m not sure I get the problem. I thought you were more comfortable when others wore clothes. That’s why I picked the pool. It is one of the only instances where all ponies gathered are wearing something to cover their,” she smirked, rolled her shoulders, and gave the human a saucy wink, “naughty bits.”
Thomas made a motion like he wanted to strangle the mare; not like his hand would fit around her neck, anyway. Blue took further amusement at his frustration, which caused his ire to build. “But… why? Why wear swimsuits at all if you’re naked all the time?”
Blue hummed thoughtfully. “Honestly, I had never put much thought into it. Mostly ponies only dress up for formal occasions, yet swimming is viewed as a casual affair. Hmm.”
“So you agree that it’s weird, right?”
“Not to me. I might be a few centuries out of touch, but this is still the world I grew up in. Although I suppose I can admit that there’s an inconsistency.”
“See! Yeah!” Thomas exclaimed, his tone filled with validation. “You’ve got fur, so it kinda makes sense that you don’t have the same problem with nudity because clothes were never as essential for ponies. Wearing clothes only for fancy occasions also makes sense ‘cause it looks nice. Same for coats in the winter, but I just want to know why you guys have swimsuits at all!”
Blue sat back in her seat, arms folded beneath her breasts as she stared down at the taxi floor, brow heavy with contemplation. “This custom was before my time, so I’m afraid I can’t say for certain. But if memory serves, I believe the pegasi might be responsible.”
Thomas leaned forward, curious to hear more.
“Damp wings make for poor flying. So the pre-Exodus pegasi warriors held trials of courage wherein the goal was to dive into the water with such speed that they could ascend before their wings became too wet. I’m sorry for not remembering all the details. The practice largely died out following the Exodus. Although, I believe it was the pegasus participants who wore special water-proof garbs to distinguish their feats. Or it might have been rescue ponies waiting on the sidelines to retrieve any pegasus who failed the test. I’d have to research it. However, following the Exodus and the attempts towards coexistence between the tribes, I think we can see where a bit of cultural exchange took place. Thusly, while the challenge fell out of practice, the wearing of special suits only for swimming held fast.”
Thomas sighed heavily and fell back into his seat. He looked unusually satisfied, as though he’d just accomplished some extraordinary feat on par with the daring pegasi of old. “Okay,” he exhaled in relief. “At least there’s a reason.”
Just then, the taxi came to a halt. The pair disembarked; Thomas in a pair of plain shorts with his loincloth underneath, and Blue in her birthday suit. They paid the taxi and looked upon their destination. The public pool was nothing special, as far as Thomas could see. The facility was open air and surrounded by a metal fence. A stream of guests flowed in and out from a rotating door directly behind a toll booth. Presumably there were measures to keep flying or teleporting ponies out, but none that the human could see.
Getting in line, Thomas continued to see nothing especially out of the ordinary; or at least from his skewed interpretation of ordinary. Most ponies in line wore swimsuits. Others were naked and carried bags similar to the one in Blue’s hand; although he doubted any of the other bags carried any spare pony clothes. Also ordinary was how most ponies were chatting with one another. Thomas was pretty sure he could distinguish family groups, dates, or just individuals looking to get wet in a totally nonsexual manner.
The mare directly in front of Thomas turned around, careful to keep her wings tucked in so as not to accidentally whack him. “Hello there, sweetie. How are you doing?”
Having not expected to engage with a stranger, Thomas froze momentarily. Conversations with others in line was a somewhat foreign experience to the socially awkward introvert. After a second, he found his voice. “Eh. Well enough, I guess.”
The mare smiled sweetly and then looked up to the mare behind him. “Your son’s quite the cutie.”
Blue tensed and felt an unusual knot in her guts. Her forced smile was kept steady and it took considerable effort not to scream. This mare had just said something terribly, horribly wrong. It was a funny kind of wrong. After all, anypony who didn’t keep up with castle gossip could be forgiven for not recognizing Thomas. He’d just be a foal to their eyes. And given that the mare behind him was probably giving off involuntary defensive cues, it was understandable how a stranger could mistake this for maternal behavior. However, as understandable as this mistake was, Blue also found it to be oddly unforgivable.
This mare, this no pony stranger had completely misjudged her relationship with Thomas. He might have been as cute as a colt, but he wasn’t. He was a full grown stallion, her stallion, and Blue felt just a little bit insulted that this wasn’t obvious. This never happened back when she was Luna and he wore his loincloth. Then, even a cursory glance would have told anypony exactly what he was and how their relationship worked. Well, maybe not exactly, but close enough that this mistake never would have happened.
Blue’s first instinct was to scream at the mare for making such a terrible, embarrassing mistake, but that would have just made things even more awkward for all involved. So instead she did the responsible thing and set a hand on the young man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said with convincing respect. “Thomas may look young, but he’s actually an adult and my mate.” The last word was spoken with a degree of pride that surprised even Blue. Thomas was her mate, and it felt good to say. And having said it, she stared at the unknown mare with anxious anticipation. She wondered how this stranger might react, if she’d be so embarrassed that she’d turn around and cease talking entirely. That, Blue reasoned with a degree of shame, would have felt like a victory.
Thomas, oblivious to Blue’s inner turmoil, just smiled flatly and waited to see what happened next.
“Oh my. I’m terribly sorry,” she said down to Thomas. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
He shrugged. “Eh. I’m kind of used to it by this point.”
Thomas’ words troubled Blue. She’d known all along that these kinds of misunderstandings sometimes happened, but this one troubled her for reasons she’d yet to fathom. She’d heard about the incident in the zoo and felt immense satisfaction upon learning that the pony responsible had received her comeuppance. Other incidents were smaller, and barely a footnote in whatever else happened in her man’s daily life; at least that was how he presented things. That thing at Ink Con, while upsetting, didn’t seem to count because it was a pony feeling entitled to the fandom rather than disrespecting Thomas for not looking pony enough.
“Still, I’m so embarrassed. Here.” The strange mare extended her hand. “My name’s Sweet Whistle.”
Wanting to reward good behavior, much as he hated touching a stranger, Thomas mirrored the motion. “Thomas. Nice to meet you.” Her hand was soft and her grip seemed purposefully gentle.
Sweet released his hand and motioned to Blue, who also shook.
“Blue Sapphire. A pleasure.”
“Something wrong?” The unicorn stallion ahead of Sweet turned around and poked his head over her shoulder. Neither of them was wearing swimsuits.
Taking advantage of the distraction, Thomas wiped his hand on his shorts. He didn’t want to seem rude, but she was still a stranger.
“Oh, nothing sweetie. I’m just busy making a fool of myself.”
The stallion smiled in good humor. “Well don’t forget to pace yourself. The night’s just started.” Then came a smack. Sweet yelped, and then blushed.
“Honey! Not in front of strangerrrs,” she whined.
“What? It’s not my fault I can’t keep my hands off my favorite mare in the world.”
Thankfully, before things got any more mushy, the line had moved along. The lovey-dovey pair ran after a pair of foals into the pool area, leaving Thomas next in line for the booth.
“Wait.” Blue started fishing around her bag and pulled out a pair of tickets, along with a paper. “I contacted the pool earlier. They said I needed to show these.”
Thomas watched the materials being handed over. The top of the paper read ‘Swimming Certification.’
The stallion at the booth read the paper, examining it with the diligence of a part timer counting down the minutes until his shift’s end. When he was satisfied, he returned the tickets and the paper, which Blue stashed back in her bag. He motioned them to enter, and they did.
“Swimming Certification?” Thomas asked.
“Attentive Eye thought it necessary,” Blue explained somewhat defensively. “In case anypony asks, you’re a legal adult and perfectly capable of swimming.” Originally she thought her assistant was just being paranoid, but now she was glad for the precaution.
Thomas huffed his acceptance and turned to look at the pool. Again, everything seemed standard. All along the pool’s pavement were chairs for ponies to rest. About a third of them were filled, and mostly by ponies who were completely naked. Thomas took this to mean that they had no intention of swimming. Every so often there was a tower with a lifeguard with a whistle and a red swimsuit sitting atop. Lamps lit up along the fence and beneath the water, combining their lights to give a convincing impression of daytime. To his immediate left was the kiddy pool; so distinguished by all of the screaming foals and only a couple of adults wading through the shallow water. The main pool was a ways ahead with dividers separating the different depths and some diving boards at what was presumably the deepest end. To the right were the changing rooms.
The pair headed inside. Most ponies of every age and sex were content to change in the relative open, but Thomas hurried to grab a stall, which also doubled as a shower. He was alone, probably because Blue didn’t want to crowd him in the confined space. After a second’s delay, she slid the bag under the stall door and he changed. After stepping back out, Thomas beheld the sight of Blue in a white one piece that stood in stark contrast to her dark blue fur. It was more of a bikini top with a thin strip of material looping down between her legs and coming up the other side. The suit was scanty at best, leaving very little to the imagination, and probably susceptible to wedgies.
Blue wore a look that said she knew exactly how sexy she was. Her smile was sultry and her eyelids batted invitingly at the young man. Hands on her waist, she angled her body and gave her hips a roll, drawing attention to her cutie mark. This earned her a few wolf whistles and other sounds of appreciation from the mares and stallions in the room. Shallow as it might be, she felt quite pleased at having her body appreciated by these strangers, even if it was only a glamour. It was always nice to be wanted, yet the stallion whose attention she wanted the most had an unreadable expression.
Thomas felt something unusual stir within him. He was upset, indignant as though someone had just insulted him. The mild annoyance from back in the line was nothing compared to this. Although the words to describe this feeling evaded him at the moment, he knew the scantily clad mare before him was at the root of it. Possessively he grabbed her hand and, while mindful to be gentle, pulled her along out of the room.
Blue allowed this to happen. She could have stopped this, and she knew that he knew as well. But she allowed this to play out. At first she didn’t get it. Thomas was never the sort to be pushy or take the lead, at least not in this sense. In studying his body language she observed a hint of irritation. Something was upsetting him. More so, the way he pulled at her had an air of urgency about it. He wanted to get out of here, and in a hurry, but why? She felt his tension ease a little once they got back outside, but his eyes told a different story. He was on alert, surveilling the area for threats. Threats of what nature?
The tightening of his hand told Blue that they were threats against herself, but that was even more baffling. She had guards disguised as civilians hidden amongst the crowd, which he knew about. Between them and her own power, what sort of threat did he hope to stop? It was following this line of reasoning that the mare had an epiphany. Thomas was acting like a mare protecting her herd. Stallions did that too, but, whether he realized it or not, Thomas’ body language seemed closer to that of a mare trying to give a very specific message. He wasn’t warning off physical threats like predators, but threats to the herd’s stability; stallion snatchers and the like. Blue’s heart performed backflips in her chest when it finally dawned on her what was happening.
Thomas, naturally, was oblivious to all of this. He just knew that he didn’t like the way those ponies were leering at and calling to his mare. That word surprised him with how it distinguished itself in his head. She was his. Thinking about it like that made him feel bad. Possessiveness was supposed to be disrespectful, right? He was conscious of how he was stepping closer to her, face scowling at all potential interlopers, which was every oblivious face in sight.
Blue cleared her throat, causing Thomas to whirl around to face her. She’d bent over with her hands on her knees to look him in the eye. She gave a smile full of mirth and amusement, but also gratitude. The look in her eyes was thankful and she gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
Thomas pulled back from the surprise attack. “Uh, what?”
Blue kept smiling. “Were you defending my honor as your mare?”
Her tone was teasing rather than accusatory. She gave no hints of being offended, but Thomas was still a little wary. “I… maybe.” He looked down at the ground, his ire replaced with shame.
Not in the mood to suffer his moodiness, Blue scooped the smaller man up and squeezed him against her. Even through the glamour, she felt how her soft, ample breast flesh threatened to envelope his smaller frame, but she squeezed all the same. She had a goal in mind, which she decided to share. “I’m squeezing the bad feelings out of you.” She was still holding back, but applying just enough pressure to share her feelings. “You were really sweet for looking out for me back there.” Pressing her muzzle into the crook of his neck, she added, “I’m happy you did.”
Thomas allowed Blue to succeed, imagining his negativity being squeezed out like toothpaste. The imaging helped, but not fully. He returned the embrace, but there was more he felt should be said. “Thanks, but I’m also upset that you’re not upset.”
“Human monogamy,” Blue sighed. “I’m sorry for not being sympathetic.”
Thomas grimaced. “And I’m sorry for still having all these stupid hang-ups.”
“Don’t be.” Blue pulled away to look him in the eye. “These are the norms of your culture. They’re a part of you, part of what shaped you into being you. You can assimilate without forgetting that.”
Thomas didn’t reply with words, but rather tightened his embrace. He knew this already. And while he felt a little bad about his friends feeling the need to walk on eggshells around him, the mare’s warmth assured him that this wasn’t the case this time. It was just a thoughtless moment of cultural misunderstanding. Ponies weren’t susceptible to the same jealousy triggers as humans. To her, there was nothing wrong with being hooted at by strangers she’d likely never see again.
“I still don’t like it,” he eventually said, “but I’m glad that you’re alright.”
“Always.” Pulling away, Blue gave the man’s ear a playful nip as she ended the hug. “Perhaps we should relax before we swim.”
Blue had been referring to the hot tubs, which were hidden behind the changing rooms from the entrance. After they’d put the bag in a locker, they ventured over to the surprisingly empty bubbling pools. Tenderly dipping his toes into the boiling water, Thomas hissed and retreated from the heat. Blue hissed as well, but muscled on to sink the rest of her hoof down. Not to be outdone after his confused display of masculine dominance, Thomas tried again. The water was hot, but not terribly so. It was easy enough to adjust. The pair sunk in deeper and deeper, letting the boiling water and thrumming jets ease them into relaxation. Both gave simultaneous sighs of relief as they finally sat.
Thomas looked to the sign nearest their bubbling pool. “Small ponies only?” And there was a picture of a pegasus silhouette standing next to a significantly larger earth pony silhouette. Well that would explain how he was sitting so comfortably. He then looked around to the other hot tubs and quickly discerned all were proportionately sized to each of the tribes. Looking at Blue, he was about to ask how she could sit in such a relatively shallow pool and be comfortable, only to see that she was on her knees in the middle. “Cheater.”
“At least I have wings, rule breaker,” she countered with a mock sneer. “What’s your excuse?”
Thomas gave this question more consideration than it was due. “Well, after getting distracted by a pair of tits and falling in,” he began conversationally, “I guess I can say I’ve got all these human maladies that you’ve probably never heard of. I left the note at home, but my doctor says I should take hot baths as much as possible.”
Blue tittered and spun around in the pool. Her wings spread wide overhead and water dripped from her feathers. She then dunked them right back in and gave a satisfied sigh.
“What was that?”
“It was a wing thing, if I’m using the modern dialect correctly,” Blue explained.
“What’s that mean?”
“It means… hmm. I suppose there’s a pleasant tingle in spreading one’s wings and letting the water drip from each individual feather.”
“Tingle, right,” interjected a rather harsh female voice.
The soaking pair looked about for whoever would dare intrude on their peaceful moment. Something dropped into the water, making a distinct *plop* sound. Blue pulled away from the unknown dark object and Thomas began to stand. Whatever the thing was, his instincts told him that he wouldn’t like it. When the dark object rose to the water’s surface, it floated. The brown, slightly chunky looking thing floated there with all the buoyancy of a pool toy. Understandably, the man and mare let out cries of alarm as they scrambled out of the now contaminated water.
The voice from before returned, letting out squawking, riotous laughter at the terrible crime she’d just committed. Blue was the first to spy her, flying overhead just below the pool’s height limit for flyers. She was a griffon, curled into a bleating ball of laughter as her wings fought desperately to keep her aloft. Incensed, Blue’s horn lit beneath her glamour, ready to deliver righteous retribution onto this miscreant. Whatever guards were watching them would also suffer for their lapse in vigilance for letting such a hoodlum get so close in the first place. However, as the griffon turned this way and that, Blue’s night vision let her see something that the distraught Thomas had yet to recognize.
“Talon!?”
Thomas blinked and looked between the two ladies. Even with the pool’s lights, he couldn’t get a very good look at the wren hovering just above. But now that he was paying attention, he could definitely hear something familiar. “T-Tali?”
“Bingo!” The wren threw her limbs out wide as if she were in the middle of jumping jacks. She hovered there for a second, presenting her body and zebra striped bikini in all of their glory before tucking her wings in and dropping like a stone. She fell right into the tainted hot tub, her cannon ball sending water splashing all over the place. How she managed this without breaking something was a mystery for the ages. When she surfaced, shaking hundreds of water droplets from her feathery head, she spied the buoyant brown object and, with absolutely no concern for basic hygiene, snatched it in her claw.
Thomas had yet to fully process what had happened as a jumble of emotions stormed inside of him. His initial revulsion at seeing the brown thing was compounded by the sight of the wren grabbing it. This was Talon. She was finally close enough for him to recognize her. He’d have complimented her for making quite the splash – pun absolutely intended – but his adrenaline was still pumping too much for him to think straight. Then, much to his horror, he saw Talon moving the brown thing closer to her beak.
The wren’s maw slowly opened ever wider, the corners of her beak curled up in a sadistic grin. She was aware that she had an audience, and wanted to draw things out before her fun came to an end. Her beak clicked shut, mere millimeters from the brown object as she teased her viewers.
“Talon, no!” Thomas urged. “That’s just gross.”
“Gross?” The wren feigned ignorance as she waved the thing in front of her face. “Sure it’s a little nutty, but I rather like the crunch.”
Catching on that not all was as it seemed, Blue stepped in for a better look. The disgust upon her face fell, pushed aside to make way for surprise and then amusement. The females shared a knowing look before the mare said, “You are truly awful.”
Seeing Blue losing a fight with her own grin, Talon beamed with pride at her accomplishment. And, with an acknowledging nod to the still oblivious human, popped the thing into her mouth and began to chew. Exaggerated moans came from her stuffed beak as her head tossed about in a dramatic display of oral ecstasy.
That’s when it clicked for the human. “That’s a chocolate bar, isn’t it?”
She shrugged. “Don’t know. Want a bite?” She held the remainder of the thing out, shaking it invitingly.
Finally calm enough to think, Thomas let his shoulders slump in defeat. He’d been had. “Okay. That was pretty good.” His admission was followed by approaching and dipping his toes back into the hot tub. Now that he was more lucid, he was aware of the night air’s chill against his bare, wet skin. The boiling water was a welcome relief that he was eager to return to. However, the human had only sunk down to his knee before a clawed hand reached out, grabbed him by the shoulder, and yanked him the rest of the way. His body collided into a wall of feathery, furry fluff while his vision was partially obscured by white. It was like someone had stuffed his face into a feather duster while a pair of fleshy rubbery orbs pressed against his chest. Powerful arms wrapped around his back, urgently squeezing him as the wren gave a soft, contented sigh.
“Hey there, chimp.” Talon’s voice was gentle, yet still emotional. It was the tone of seeing an old friend after an extended absence, which was fitting. One claw pressed to his lower back while the other moved off to the side, still holding the candy bar. “Been a while.”
In following the conditioning he’d received from months of living with touchy-feely ponies, Thomas’ body reacted to the soft fur and strong arms of the female’s embrace by returning it. He couldn’t reach very far from his position, unable to touch his fingers together, but made a note that he could have reached under her armpits. He didn’t, but he could have if he’d wanted to. The man inhaled, taking comfort in the wren’s familiar scent. He simply replied, “Hey,” and savored the feel of his old friend.
Blue turned to the main area of the pool and made eye contact with several ponies she recognized as guards. They were anxiously watching to see if they were needed. No doubt they’d jump about and cause all manner of mayhem if given the order, but Blue instead gave a dismissive wave. They returned to their cover of swimming around, playing ball, and chatting up one another, but never tore their eyes away from their duty for more than a minute. Some had intercepted the lifeguards before they could check on the disturbance, understanding that their charge wanted to be left alone at the moment. She was less angry as she watched them mil about, reasoning that they’d recognized Talon as a friend and that was why she’d been allowed to approach. So she stepped back into the hot tub and resumed her earlier spot. “It’s been a while, Talon.”
“Tell me about it,” the wren huffed tiredly. She relaxed her grip on the human and adjusted herself along the tub’s seat. Thomas was held sitting on her knee while using her arm as a backrest. “Let me tell you, it’s been a crazy kind of month.”
“A month?” Thomas puzzled as he mentally counted the days since he’d last seen one of his first friends since coming to this world. A part of him wanted to lean closer against her body – because it was soft, warm, and so very comfortable – but he still felt a little awkward about his masculinity and didn’t want to give off the wrong signals, whatever those might be. “Has it only been that long?”
Talon shrugged. “Eh. Give or take a week.”
“Where were you? You barely gave us any warning before you just up and left.” Thomas sounded a little hurt. He never liked raising a fuss, but he’d been genuinely missing the crazy feather face.
Talon smiled apologetically. “Aww. Did chimpy wimpy missey me?”
Thomas smiled flatly. “Yes, but now I’m starting to wonder why.”
The wren chuckled. “I was feeling a little restless hanging around the castle all the time, so I asked ‘Leste for a little time off. Stretch my wings and see the world, ya know.” Her hand waved dramatically across the starry night sky as her folded wings shuffled behind her. “It’s a wing thing. You probably wouldn’t get it.”
“Oh yeah? L-I mean Blue was just telling me about wing things.”
“Whatever you’ve heard, it’s all lies!” Talon asserted forcefully. “You can’t trust a thing that feather brain says.”
Blue laughed. “Relax. I only told him about the tingling of water dripping from my feathers.” She fully submerged her wings in the water, lifted them high, and spread them as before, if perhaps a bit bigger. “The dark secrets of the winged fold remain hidden.”
Talon made an understanding sound. “Ah. Good. I’d hate to have to report you to the evil wing conspiracy.”
Blue nodded. “Good. I would hate to be fined again.”
Thomas just sat there, adjusting himself on Talon’s thigh. Apparently this was another ‘wing thing’, so he thought it best to wait for his turn.
“Anyway,” Talon continued, “I was just bumming it for a while. Went to the banks only when I needed food and a place to sleep, but mostly I tried to stay in the outdoors as much as possible and just talk ta folks, ya know. That was pretty much the whole first week. I think I was planning on doing this spiral pattern out away from the castle, rather than go straight for the touristy spots. Then, wouldn’t ya know it, I found myself in Ponyville.”
Blue shifted closer, ears perked at full attention.
“Said hi to Twi, her pet arsonist, and,” she trailed off, “a certain somebody.”
“I wonder who that could be,” Thomas remarked. “It’s not like you ever said you had a thing for big mares, especially not any in that area.”
“With wings,” Talon corrected. “Big mares with wings. Might not have said it at the time, but wings are also a factor. I also might have a preference for lighter colors. No offense,” she directed at Blue, “but I’m pretty sure there are fashion mags agreeing that lighter colors are objectively better.” Her grin was the very picture of shit-eating. “You understand.”
Blue just smiled back, though her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. Then, pulling off an impressive impression of Mel Blanc, she replied, “Of course you realize this means war.”
Surprised, Thomas laughed like a hissing snake.
Talon looked confused. “I’m not getting it.” She looked between her swimming companions. “Did we move on from wing things to crazy creature things?”
“Bugs Bunny,” Thomas answered. “I can tell you about it back at the castle.”
Talon jostled the little man a bit and shot him a teasing grin. “Oh? Like on a date?”
He thought on it for only a second before replying, “Actually, that sounds pretty good.”
The wren’s grin fell.
“We’re actually doing this dating thing right now where everyone’s pairing off to just do whatever.”
Talon’s expression sunk further. “You’re not as fun to tease anymore.” Her head hung low, weighed heavy by her pouting beak-lips.
Thomas wasn’t sure whether to comfort the wren, or stare in fascination at the seemingly limitless flexibility of what was basically bone. Ultimately he decided on both and dug his fingers into her head feathers. “Sorry for being so agreeable,” he said without a drop of sincerity.
Talon smiled and shouldered him away. “Another reason why I left was ‘cause I wanted to see how you’d do without me, chimp. You’ve gotta admit you’re a little overly dependent on others.”
Thomas nodded his acceptance of her fair criticism.
“And you still are. Don’t get me wrong. But you’ve, I don’t know, it seems like you’ve grown just a little.” She looked him up and down. “Now instead of being blown over by a light breeze, it’ll take a stiff breeze ta knock ya on your ass.”
“That is really sweet of you to say,” Thomas answered after a second’s pause. He kissed her on the corner of her beak and added, “Thank you.”
In her Talon way, the wren then grabbed the man by the back of the head and squished her face against his. Her bafflingly soft and flexible beak gave under the pressure as the two snogged away.
Blue cleared her throat. “I feel very left out right now.”
Smiling proudly, Talon held onto Thomas and moved closer to the mare. A clawed hand wrapped around Blue’s shoulder and pulled her close, leading to a smashing of muzzle against beak. After about five seconds, Talon pulled away with an audible smack. “Stars above, I missed alicorns!”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t said hello to sister, yet?”
“What? ‘Course I did,” Talon huffed indignantly. “First thing I did when I got back to the city was fly straight into Sunbutt’s room and give everybody the pleasure,” she said in mock imitation of an aristocrat, “of my company. I’m just a traditional greedy griffon who likes hoarding all alicorn kisses all to myself.”
Satisfied with this answer, Blue pressed her nose to Talon’s beak in an affectionate nuzzle.
Feeling bold, Thomas did the same and awkwardly forced his nose into the three-way. The world beyond had been completely eclipsed by massive blue and white faces, each dominated by two pairs of happy eyes as their owners smiled. The view was roughly the same for each of them as the three friends laughed at their silliness. Then they pulled away into a more relaxed state within the pool that was far too small for two of them.
“So,” Talon began her interrogation. “You guys went to a public pool, but you’re not swimming?”
“We were getting around to it,” Thomas argued. “But one thing led to another, and an old friend showed up out of nowhere and kind of threw things off.”
Talon scoffed. “Only a jerk friend would step in unannounced like that. Trust me, chimp. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll break up with them.”
“I’m not sure I feel safe doing that,” Thomas admitted.
“Why not?” asked Blue. “Lady Tali’s advice seems sound enough. Why would you want to hold onto an objectively bad friend?”
Talon’s eyes narrowed, giving an ‘I see what you did there’ look.
“Well, I seem to have surrounded myself with all kinds of women who like to assert their bigness by sitting on me,” Thomas explained. “It’s not too bad for most of them, but the jerk friend has,” he paused for dramatic effect, “a bonier butt, which can hurt.”
Incensed, utterly infuriated, Talon retaliated by delivering a swift and devastating pinch to the smaller man’s backside. “Hypocrite!” she hissed. “Like you’re in any position to talk about boney asses.”
“Actually,” Blue said through her feminine tittering, “given his own shortcomings down there,” she gestured, “I would say that he is the most qualified to speak on such matters.” She shook her head with a dramatic flourish, bouncing her mane. Her face was the very definition of smug after delivering a most brutal burn, at least in her mind. “While I, alas,” she craned her neck back to look down over her shoulder and spoke in a forlorn tone, “am truly a novice on the subject.”
“Psst, chimp. Check this out,” Talon said loud enough for both of her pool buddies to hear. She then straightened to a more dignified posture, looking Blue square in the eye. “I fancy myself an experienced lady. I’ve been around the mountain a few times, met all sorts of interesting creatures, also met a few.” Her eyebrows danced suggestively. “The Princesses might fancy themselves experts all locked away in their little towers, but they don’t have the real world experience that I do. ‘Eagle eye’ ain’t an expression for nothing, after all. And, with these expert eyes of mine, I think I’ve cracked the code that’s been stumping philosophers and gossip mongers for generations.” Her head feathers fluffed and her wings spread in a display of domination. “I’ve figured out how to measure the true greatness of plots.”
Thomas saw the look in Blue’s eyes and, in that moment, wanted desperately to be anywhere other than in the line of fire. He knew he’d been pushing things when he called Talon’s butt boney. Butts were an especially sensitive topic here in Equestria, and now it seemed things were only going to escalate. He tried to move, but Talon held him fast. Did she intend to use him as a living shield or something?
“Obviously ‘Leste’s is best. Obviously,” Talon continued. “But in all my travels, especially to Ponyville, I… partook of a good many plots that came pretty damn close.” She made a gesture as if she were sloshing wine in an imaginary glass. “The one they call Fluttershy, Element of Kindness, and embodiment of sweetness. I’d rank her around third or fourth on the list,” she appraised with haughty condescension. “And, given that I’m one of the few to ever partake of two. Whole. Alicorns…”
“Please stop,” Thomas begged. He was ignored.
“By all means,” Blue said through gritted teeth. She was shifting around anxiously in the water, resembling a predator on the verge of pouncing.
This was bad. The griffon was courting death, yet the smug sense of self-satisfaction said that she couldn’t be more pleased.
“I think I can safely say that hrmm!?”
“Nope! Nuh uh.” Thomas clasped the wren’s beak closed with both hands. “We’re not doing that.”
Talon turned an angry avian eye on the ballsy little man. “Hroo vo foo fink voo var!?”
“I’m the guy reminding you that we’re out in public, and surrounded by hard concrete. If you two start fighting, someone’s gonna get hurt, and it’s probably gonna be me, a guard, or even a poor lifeguard just trying to do their job.”
Then, just as Blue was about to say something, smug as can be that her opponent’s attack had been stopped, her words were also cut short.
“Same to you!” Thomas hissed as he struggled to hold his grip. For whatever reason Talon was only trying to shake him loose without using her claws. It was probably meant to be sporting. “There’s a difference between relaxing and causing a scene, you know.”
Blue huffed. “And who are you to say that? Thou art not Our handler.” Her reverting back to old timey speak was probably not a good sign.
Looking over his shoulder as he fought against the griffon, Thomas replied, “Technically, I think I am.” Blue hadn’t expected that, and even Talon ceased her struggling to hear his justification. “Well, uh, I’m supposed to keep you calm, right? Keep your urges in check? That’s the literal interpretation. Well, if you think about it,” he felt so terribly awkward trying to parse out his thoughts into words, “it might not be written down, but it’s the spirit of the law that I keep you from making a scene.”
“That is not actually a law.”
“Whatever! It still applies. I keep all your urges in check, including your bad judgement, to keep you from making a scene in public.”
Both the mare and wren donned thoughtful expressions as they considered his words. Thomas, after a moment’s pause, released his hold of Talon’s beak. She opened it wide to stretch her jaw, clicking it and demonstrating exactly how bad things could have gone if she’d used the sharp parts, but no words were yet forthcoming. A terrible silence persisted, causing knots to grow in the man’s stomach as his mind was allowed to venture into horrifying hypotheticals of how the ladies might react. When Blue finally broke the silence, Thomas released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
Awestruck, Blue clapped her hand to her cheek with a mighty *thwak* and proclaimed, “By ME! I think you might be right!”
“Boo,” Talon jeered, although her heart wasn’t in it. “Bad pun. Although yeah, I’m thinking so, too. That’s actually pretty clever, chimp.”
Thomas managed a smile from both relief and amusement. He still had trouble telling if his friends were putting on some kind of show, or if they were naturally this dramatic. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Talon bounced him on her knee. “The real reason alicorns have all these servants is ‘cause they can’t be trusted to look after themselves. They might have minds for politics, but they’d never function in the real world without someone constantly holding their oversized hands and giving their tails a good yank. And as concubines,” she held up a fist as if to make a solemn vow, “we have a responsibility to yank those tails and drop them on their awesome plots every chance we get!”
Thomas blinked and looked at the wren again. He could have sworn he’d seen a flag waving behind her as patriotic music played in the background, but it must have just been his imagination.
“I am so telling the rest of the guys back in ‘Leste’s harem. They’re gonna get a kick out of this.” She tittered. One could tell just by looking her in the eye that a diabolical scheme was taking shape in her mind. “This is gonna be fun.”
Chuckling, Thomas gently shouldered the griffon’s side to get her attention. “That last part didn’t sound all that responsible.”
Talon turned to the man and looked at him as though he’d grown a second head. “And your point?”
It didn’t take Thomas long to answer. “No point. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.” They shared an understanding, conspiratorial nod.
Blue had begun backing away in the limited space of the pool. Her back quickly hit the wall. Cornered, and with roughly a dozen guards watching her, she allowed the dread of the moment to wash over her. There was nowhere for the winged – and secretly magical – mare to flee. “Why does it feel as though you are plotting treason?” she asked with frightful defiance.
Talon’s beak spread wide in a manic grin. “It’s not really treason. If ya think about it, it’s more like a… a reinterpretation of our duties,” she reasoned with the deviousness of a top tier lawyer. “We gotta protect you from yourselves, and it’s our civic duty to do so at any cost.”
“I’m not sure we could take her,” Thomas admitted. “She’s got guards all over the place.” Also he was still mindful of the wet concrete.
“That’s why we have to wait,” Talon whispered conspiratorially. “I’ll fly on ahead and spread the word, assuming I don’t get distracted by some sexy plot and forget. We’ll get all the concubines on standby to jump the Princesses as soon as they go to their rooms. We’ll seize power before the guards can even react and rule from the shadows with the alicorns as our puppets.”
“A clever plan,” Blue acknowledged. No longer pulling away in fear, she held her head high and spread her wings in a display of unwavering dominance. “But you have foolishly explained everything while I was in earshot,” she proclaimed dramatically as though she’d revealed some great truth.
Talon scoffed. “And here I thought Princesses were all civil, and high society, and didn’t stoop to lowly tactics like eavesdropping.”
Blue flinched as if struck. “Keeping one’s ears open has always been an invaluable tool of the powerful. It is how we stay alive.” Her words seemed a bit too defensive.
“Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that.” Talon waved dismissively, frustrating the mare all the more.
“But the point stands! I know your scheme, and sister will as well. All we need to do is… is…” Her eyes went wide as it finally clicked.
Talon’s grin was a blend of cruelty and triumph. “All you have to do is what? Avoid us? Avoid your concubines, the only creatures in the land qualified to keep you from going mad with heat?” She snorted her contempt. “Sure, you could sleep elsewhere, or even lock us up, but then what? You’d sit your big asses on your big ass thrones, make your decrees, and everything’d be all nice and dandy… at first. Then the tingling would come. That burning little twitch, that itch in that sacred place that you can never quite scratch on your own. You grind your thighs together, but that only makes it worse. It builds and builds and builds,” her wingspan widened with every other word, “until it’s so maddening you can barely even hear anything. By the time you’ve finally registered that its heatstroke, it’s already too late. And then…” She trailed off, her head lowered as she gave a depraved sneering smirk. “You wouldn’t last a day.”
Thomas looked between the females. Talon looked so very villainous and dastardly that her face seemed rather punchable in that moment. Blue, by contrast, had been backed into a corner and her features drooped in hopeless submission. There was only one reaction that seemed fitting. “Damn, girl! You don’t mess around.”
As Talon accepted this well-deserved praise, her continued victory speech faltered when she saw a change in Blue. “What?” she asked warily as the blue mare began to lift herself up. “What are you doing?”
Now it was Blue’s turn to grin, only with the corner of her mouth having this murderous twitch to it. “But there is another matter you have overlooked. A key detail that kills your plan in its infancy.”
“Oh yeah?” Talon challenged. “What’s that?”
Standing at her full height, Blue’s smirk was more of an aristocratic sneer as she looked down on the treacherous felinoid avian. “Cadence, Princess of Love, has no harem.”
Talon’s eyes went wide with horror and her body went tense.
Even Thomas felt his sphincter clench a little at this sudden shift in atmosphere. He had no idea why, but something about Blue’s words had filled him with dread.
“You may have numbers on your side, but the youngest alicorn has yet to fully mature. Her urges are easier to quell by her single mate, who is far more loyal than you.” She said that last part with a venomous hiss. “Cadence will rise unmatched. If she does not take the throne for herself, she will squash your meager rebellion with her devastating love magic.” Blue pointed in accusation. “Her spells will render you helpless, writhing in heaps of nonstop orgasmic bliss. If she is feeling cruel, she may even toy with her food. She will fight with words, planting seeds of dissent that will turn you against one another! She will argue that the harems have neither the ability to rule, nor the desire. Dealing with the endlessly tedious problems of the realm is not for the faint of heart, and you concubines are too content with your lives of luxury to spoil it all with having others expect you to make up ponies’ minds for them on everything from crop rotation to fork placement at a banquet most won’t even attend. Is that what you want? Is it!?”
Talon slapped her claws over her birdy ears, dropping Thomas into the water as her body shook with existential horror. “No. No! It’s too horrible!”
Thomas couldn’t stop smiling as he watched the tables turn so dramatically. He was still uncertain if this theatric display was sincere or not, but it was fun to watch. He wished he had popcorn, but decided to commit these moments to memory to share with the others. They’d really get a kick out of it. But then he started thinking. “Wait, why would Cadence need to say all that when you just did?”
Blue faltered a second before saying, “Shut up! This is Our dramatic speech and We will not see it ruined.”
“Actually, we kind of already did this.”
Talon ceased her desperate panic to meet the human’s eye. “Say what?”
“Yeah. We kinda already teamed up against her.” Thomas motioned to Blue. “Turns out alicorns are actually easier to conquer than you might expect. Silver even used her butt as a living throne for a bit.”
Talon’s cheeks puffed out like a squirrel smuggling baseballs. Anticipating what was coming, Thomas made sure to back away before it happened. Before long a shrill, squawking laugh erupted forth. The griffon tried to close her beak to get herself under control, but her body would not stop thrashing around as she struggled against her own mirth.
Blue just stood there in dignified silence while her own lips twitched, threatening to betray her.
Smiling at the fall in tension as he was caught up in the collateral splashing, Thomas added, “You’d love to hear how it ended.”
“No!” Blue shouted, very nearly going overboard into the Royal Canterlot Voice. She paused at the mischievous gleam in Talon’s eyes. One way or another, it was now inevitable that the griffon would learn the embarrassing truth about her unethical use of chemical warfare to end the rebellion. Such was the fundamental flaw of having a close knit group of friends. Secrets had a short life expectancy. “I mean, perhaps we should wait.” She motioned to the main pool. None of the ponies who weren’t guards were looking their way. She’d already cast an illusion to divert attention, but that did nothing to diminish her dread at the imminent sharing of the truth of her shameful victory.
“Eh. Fiiine!” Talon groaned. Finally back in full control of herself, she stood and spread her wings, letting the water drip in tiny droplets. “Kind of a waste of a pool trip if you ask me, but whatever. I guess it’s just part of my curse to be the most interesting thing in the room, even outdoors.”
Thomas followed the females’ lead and exited the pool. They returned to the changing room and Thomas once more grabbed a stall. He wasn’t fast enough to get one for himself, however, as Talon muscled her way in behind him. She didn’t say anything. She just smirked down at her small stall buddy, daring him to challenge her presence. He didn’t take the bait and made due with the little space he’d been allotted. They both undressed and wiped themselves down with towels. Talon made sure she was seen peeking over his shoulder at what dangled between his legs, and he reciprocated with more than a few ‘accidental’ brushes against her breasts. Thomas emerged fully dressed with the swimsuits in the bag while the females had resumed their natural states.
Since they were dry, and the air had warmed a little, they decided to walk back to the castle. Talon positioned herself between the others so that she’d be able to deliver tail slaps to both of her friends’ bottoms whenever it suited her. Blue was able to retaliate with her own tail while Thomas had to maintain constant vigilance and try to catch the darn thing whenever it made a move. They chatted about this and that, but nothing too important. Mostly they walked along in a comfortable silence, hand-in-hand, and frequently bumping sides as they went. It was a comfortable moment with a newly returned friend, a friend whom Thomas was happy to have back.
Firestorm was feeling tired. He had that liberty, since it was his night off, but it was still an awful feeling. Firestorm hated feeling tired, because it was dangerously close to laziness. When one was tired, one tended to make excuses to not do things, to procrastinate, or even seek out the most pathetic of excuses to justify that feeling of awful lethargy. Admittedly, the older stallion had been staying up late for some time, well past sunrise, but that was hardly justification for this malaise of ‘maybe later.’
There were things to do. There were things that he, as an important stallion with an important job, had to do. But he couldn’t. Even with a job like his, which didn’t technically exist, his place of employment had fallen victim to those terrible labor unions. Oh yes. Years and years ago, well before Firestorm was even born, a bunch of yuppies decided to break from their clandestine duties and form a semi-clandestine strike until their demands were met.
Firestorm was certain that records regarding that incident had been doctored. In fact, he hoped they had been, because the events he’d read had been far too absurd to believe. The stallion smiled to himself, imagining that part of the negotiations was that the union’s founders would be remembered as a bunch of dumbasses, although maybe that was actually respectable. Maybe the unionists felt such conviction for the cause that they were willing to sacrifice their own legacies. But on the other hand, ponies didn’t take jobs like these because they wanted to be remembered. Ponies took jobs like these because they were jobs that needed doing.
“Will there be anything else, sir?”
Broken from his naval gazing, Firestorm looked up at the stallion behind the counter, and then back to his purchase. Various crafting materials had been neatly stacked into a brown paper bag, ready to go home and be assembled into a grand testament of boredom. “No. I think that’ll be it.” He then pulled out his wallet from his saddle bags – because some idiot had arbitrarily decided that purses were too feminine for stallions – and gave the cashier the necessary bits. His change was taken and then deposited into one of these ‘feed the hungry’ charity bins.
“Thank you very much, sir,” the cashier said in the way of customer service workers that were only just starting to have their souls sucked by the corporate machine. “Have a pleasant evening.”
“You too,” Firestorm replied, wishing he could sound more sincere for the cashier’s benefit.
Without really thinking about it, Firestorm picked up his purchase in his right hand. This, unfortunately, got him to thinking about his right hand. It was a very good hand. Very reliable. But it was most good in the sense that it was functional. The thing was technically sophisticated, a product of Equestria’s unmatched technological prowess. The crystals inside didn’t even need unicorn magic to recharge. Advanced circuits that connected to his nervous system also provided the crystals with the same energy his body ran on, which was why he always had such an appetite whenever he wore the thing.
Yes, this arm was a good arm, but it wasn’t his. Even after all these years, he’d never truly accepted the thing as his own. Not helping matters was how the gaudy gold clashed with his vibrant orange fur, but no. ‘Gold was light and ideal for energy conversion,’ they’d said. And as bad as the gold was, somehow the synthetic fur they’d wanted to graft on was even worse.
The memory made Firestorm sneer as he walked down the street. The private sector had come up with convincing faux fur coats and sexy underwear that was so soft that it was actually recalled on the grounds of distracting from sexy time; but a prosthetic arm that could get the job done without being an eyesore was somehow beyond his agency’s abilities.
“I’ve suddenly found myself feeling empathetic to those lousy unionists,” Firestorm said aloud to no one in particular, seething with disgust at what seemed like a betrayal of his convictions. Should he file a complaint with pony resources or something? Probably not. The stallion with the brown mane styled like fire had no fondness for having others solve his problems for him. Sending subordinates out to do grunt work was different, because he’d been the one to initiate the action. But asking others for help, even the sensible kind, always left him feeling weak, even before the accident.
A familiar jingle caught the stallion’s attention. His ears turned to face the sound, followed by his face, and then his whole body as the ice cream carriage rolled down the street. The sound alone sparked life in his inner foal, demanding that he rush after the slow carriage to claim its coveted treasure. That he had plenty of ice cream back home was inconsequential. Everypony knew that ice cream from the ice cream carriage was the best, and he’d fight anypony who said otherwise.
The crowd of foals gathering around the carriage’s stop most likely agreed. About twenty by Firestorm’s count, most waving money in their hands. They were accompanied by what looked like five parents while other adults – presumably also parents or older siblings – watched from a safe distance. Though no pony saw, Firestorm nodded to the latter group of parents for enabling their foals this moment of supervised independence. Times like these were important life lessons for foals, ensuring that they grew up to be confident, well rounded adults.
As with the adults who weren’t parents, Firestorm felt a social obligation to keep watching. This many foals gathered in one place seemed innocent on the surface, but only a fool wouldn’t recognize the powder keg just waiting to go off. All it would take is one careless action, like a shove. Then voices would be raised, the aggrieved party might shove back, tears would fall, somepony might run off without watching where they were going, and the whole thing would devolve into a hot mess if no pony intervened in time.
Fortunately, none of that happened. The foals were all very well behaved, given that adults were literally looking over their shoulders the entire time. Money was exchanged for the delicious frozen treats; a bargain by any measure, as the foals said their token ‘thank you’s, went back to whatever it was they were doing, and the adults scattered.
Firestorm smiled, feeling a little less crummy for having participated in the wholesome event, and continued on his merry way through the neighborhood. These apartments were in the lower income district of the city, as indicated by their worn state. Graffiti was everywhere and the road was in desperate need of a good paving. However, no windows were boarded up and the fire escapes all looked up to code, so this place couldn’t be called ‘poor’. No doubt this was a source of pride for the families who called this residence home. These ponies, as far as Firestorm could tell, were doing the best they could and living within their means.
That was how most Equestrians lived. Once a foal got his or her cutie mark, their life was more or less set. A hammer and iron cutie mark led foals to the smithy, but could just as easily translate into the various forms of construction. Generally, the foal would have already been volunteering at the family smithy for some time, or always had a hobby of tinkering, making their Destiny obvious to all but themselves. Some marks were on the ambiguous side, which led to an extended period of uncertainty, often characterized by job hunting in low skill fields while the ponies ‘found themselves’. What was mistakenly believed to be a hammer could actually turn out to be a judge’s gavel. Even then, Destiny might have simply meant this pony to have an exemplary sense of fairness and justice, which they would extol as unofficial community leaders, or even as grand masters of their own home. Yes, a hammer was a truly versatile cutie mark. It could build, enforce the rules, and even… break things.
Firestorm looked down at his own cutie mark. To most, it was a simple ember sitting atop a log, an image that evoked feelings of warmth and comfort. Beneath the glamour, however, was a fireball striking a cloud, which released a pair of lightning bolts. The specifics would likely be lost on most ponies, but the general idea was what necessitated the glamour. Firestorm’s cutie mark was one of violence. A sword might just mean he had a knack for swordsmanship, meaning he’d make for an excellent guard, police officer, rat catcher, or any of Equestria’s lauded protectors, but a sword slashing through a skull had more specific implications. Firestorm’s cutie mark was not one of creation, protection, or maintenance, but destruction, which left most civilians anxious.
Bad ponies destroyed things, just like bad non-ponies destroyed things. It was just common sense. A baking cutie mark gave its owner an itch that could not be scratched unless sufficient baking was done, which was equitable to the itch felt by mares in heat. Action had to be taken, so what sane pony would want to associate with somepony who actually felt the compulsion to destroy? It was an objective fact that there were, and always had been, too many bad destroyers in the world, which Firestorm knew all too well.
Yes, there were far too many bad destroyers in the world, but there weren’t as many as there used to be. In the olden days, when Equestria was still being settled, the land was wrought with bad things. Manticores and other dangerous fauna were bad enough, but actual monsters and true destroyers ran rampant back then. Before, the old tribalism had afforded many with a great deal of power to do as they pleased, as well as excuses. Power kept the peasants in line. The ever looming threat of destroyers was an eternal deterrent to an uprising of aggrieved commoners. But with the banishing of the Windegoes, too many were discontent with the new status quo. A pony with a mace bashing a face could no longer oppress peasants with impunity as they used to. That sort of infighting was all but banned for fear of the chilling terror’s return. So, with their old livelihoods stripped from them and little effort made to present those destroyers with alternatives, many turned to banditry and other symptoms of social ills.
Worse were the unicorns, as was so often the case. While rare, it was not unheard of for a single unicorn to have power to decimate an entire village, whereas bandits usually needed a small army. Granted, there were just as many earth pony and pegasus prodigies with equitable capacities for destruction, but somehow unicorns got stuck with the worst of the stigma, which was probably fair. Far too many unicorns with marks like Firestorm’s decided to turn their powers on the masses, to rekindle the old ways of oppression and supremacy.
As a unicorn, and a possessor of such a violent cutie mark, Firestorm had a visceral and intense hatred for unicorns like those. They all had their excuses for why they did what they did, but Firestorm cared not for their betrayal of Destiny. Those ass hats had to go and twist their gifts into curses, not only inflicting harm on the general populace, but creating a stigma for ponies like Firestorm. Everything had changed the moment he’d gotten his mark. His friends started avoiding him, his teachers got jumpy when he made sudden movements, and even his family started looking at him differently. He hated it, as would anypony. He hated it, and developed a bit of a complex out of a desire to prove them wrong. He was a destroyer, but he wasn’t a bad destroyer. That distinction was important. He was a true destroyer, one whose Destiny wasn’t twisted into something ugly.
It was at this thought that a new sound caught Firestorm’s ear, which flicked to focus in on it. It was familiar, like the ice cream jingle, but instead of exciting his inner foal, the representation of Firestorm’s innocence crawled into a corner, curled up in the fetal position, and wept. Bag still in hand, Firestorm ran in the direction of the scream. He ran down a dark alley, because of course he did, and saw three ponies. The one hunched over with his back to the wall was a unicorn stallion, gray fur that was almost white, and hand covering his bloodied face. The other two were mares. The earth mare was punching her fist into her open palm in an intimidating fashion, while the unicorn smirked in that self-righteous, stereotypical unicorn way.
“You got the money?” asked the unicorn mare.
“N-no,” wept the stallion. “I-I’m sorry. I-I’ll get it next week. I promise.”
The unicorn mare shook her head. “You must really think I’m stupid, don’t you.”
“What!? N-no! I-”
*FWACK*
Having said nothing, the earth mare delivered a fierce blow to the stallion’s gut, causing him to double over in pain. He wheezed and heaved, looking like his stomach was ready to expel its contents.
“No, you do,” asserting the unicorn mare. “Why else would you… would… you?” She staggered, suddenly not looking so smug. Why was the world suddenly spinning? “Wh-whaz happen?” She gripped her forehead and braced herself against the wall.
The earth mare said nothing, but looked very concerned. Then she heard a very distinct jingle. One could only live around unicorns for so long without learning the telltale sound of magic being cast. She didn’t hear the first one, because it was too far away, but this one took place right behind her. Being an earth pony thug in a unicorn city, she knew she had to act quickly. She started with a mighty backhanded swing, spinning around and aiming where the enemy’s head would be. If she could disorientate the enemy unicorn, or better yet, hit the horn, then victory would be certain. Unfortunately, her swing carried on uninterrupted, though she did see the orange figure crouched down near her knees. She’d missed. She’d missed because she was facing a unicorn who knew standard anti-unicorn tactics.
Using his right hand, because he didn’t feel like being nice, Firestorm sprung up and delivered a fierce upper cut right between the mare’s legs. There was a low *thunk*, like a bell being rung, followed by the faintest of cracks. Firestorm had been punching ponies long enough to recognize that this wasn’t the crack of bone, but something far more tender. As such, he retracted his metallic fist and rolled off to the side, away from where the mare was facing. A fountain of liquefied, partially digested meal spewed forth, right where the stallion had been not an eye blink ago. On reflex, he said a silent ‘thank you’ to the alicorns for blessing him with such quick instincts, all the while noting the hunks of carrot amongst the green sludge spreading wide and making a mess of things.
The mare retched, in too much pain to scream. The look in her eyes showed that she was screaming on the inside. No doubt it’d be a deafening shriek if her voice would cooperate, but she appeared too busy fighting the need to blow chunks once more. She heaved, gagged, and lost that fight, adding to the puddle of vomit. She could barely even register the searing pain in her groin, only the violent summersaults her stomach was performing. Her body acted on reflex, jumping back as her hand moved to cover her tender mare parts. The brick wall was cold against her back and she paid little mind to the coarse friction as she slid down to her rump. The jostling causing her to spit up a little more. This time her vomit didn’t have much force behind it, and dribbled down her chin and sullied her fur. Save for her gut, her pain was still mostly abstract, something she knew she should be feeling, but hadn’t quite clicked in her brain. But she went through the motions all the same, doubling over and curling herself into a protective ball in dreadful anticipation of when her senses finally caught up with reality. Then she spewed again.
There was blood on Firestorm’s knuckles. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make him squirm in discomfort. He wondered if he’d gone a bit too far, but a look at the weeping stallion assured him that he’d taken the correct measures. At least he hadn’t fully extended his arm. That might have led to permanent damage. Just because Firestorm wasn’t in the mood to be nice, that didn’t mean he needed to be cruel, not for punks like these.
The unicorn mare, having realized a spell of dizziness had been cast upon her, looked between her cohort and the culprit behind this assault. It took another half second before the whole situation processed, which Firestrom allowed. She seethed with rage. Dizzy or not, she was still confident in her skills, and knew just how to deal with this interloper.
His expression blank thus far, Firestorm stole a glance at the mare’s cutie mark. It was a knife slashing through the air. Given that she was naked without so much as a satchel, he figured she must have a specialty spell to conjure up one or more knives made out of solid magic. Still under the influence of the dizzy spell, it was reasonable that she’d defer to this specialty, no doubt having cast it so much that it had become second nature to her. This made Firestorm angry. Her cutie mark was a weapon, a thing clearly meant to cause harm, and yet she was misusing it. Instead of accepting Destiny and using her talents for the benefit of Equestria, she’d gone and become the very thing Firestorm had sworn to fight.
An inferior destroyer was still a bad destroyer.
The mare’s magic jingled and her trademark knife took shape in her hand. It was only one knife, but it had never failed her in the past. The thing was small, and could easily be manipulated at long range. Most ponies never expected a knife thrown at them to boomerang around and hit them in the back. It was a foolproof plan, so that’s what she did. With a manic grin she threw the knife, aiming just past the stallion’s head. He’d probably dodge. He no doubt had some skills if her cohort went down so quickly, but skills in a unicorn could very easily become weaknesses if they weren’t careful. In her mind she saw him get careless, thinking she’d used up her one trick. He’d think her helpless, bullheadedly charge, never looking back, and then that would be that.
Except, that’s not what happened.
The stallion caught the magical construct in his hand, his right hand. She swore under her breath. Those were some impressive reflexes, but she was still in control and her smirk returned. All she had to do was maneuver the knife to cut his hand, he’d get distracted by the pain, and then she’d strike. Except his grip wouldn’t loosen, and she swore again. Even with all her magic, she couldn’t pull the semi-translucent object free. It was about at this time that she took a serious look at the stallion’s hand. The first thing she noticed was that it was a different color than the rest of his fur. The second thing she noticed was the sheen of the metal plating. After that was the glow of the energy crystals in his knuckles, and then the dispelling of her knife.
The mare felt winded, like she’d just run a marathon, and only barely kept herself from collapsing. She’d invested too much magic in the knife, so its dispelling left her understandably exhausted. And on top of that, she was still dizzy.
The blink of an eye later, Firestorm had closed the distance with the mare. Given that she was the one calling the shots here, Firestorm felt he needed to exercise a bit of equity and – by his standards – punish her proportionally to that of her subordinate. Leaders must always be held to account for their subordinates, after all. So he grabbed her teat with his right hand. His sharpened metallic fingers dug into the soft flesh. Sensation was felt differently in his prosthetic hand, like his brain was being told second hand that a thing was soft rather than experiencing it first-hand. But he could tell when the skin started to tear as his pointed finger tips dug in.
She screamed. She grabbed hold of the metallic appendage and tried yanking herself free. That just hurt more. So she tried to cast a spell, any spell, to make him let go, but he just grabbed her horn with his real hand, snuffing out the magic before anything could manifest. Then she started punching him. Both of his hands were occupied, meaning he couldn’t block her blows to his face. She wailed on him, only for his right hand to tighten and both of hers to reflexively come back to grab around his wrist and a vain attempt to wrestle herself free. Her eyes watered in agony. Glaring at him, eyes burning with hatred, she was stunned by the look he returned. The stallion’s eyes were as cold as a witch’s teat. He was not being cruel or even indifferent, but far worse. The mare jerked back as if struck when it finally registered that this stallion, this absolute brute who had laid her and her subordinate low in a matter of minutes, was staring into her soul with pure, unadulterated pity. It was the silent scold of a disappointed parent; a look the mare was personally unfamiliar with, but still recognized on an instinctual level.
She hated it.
Firestorm would have likely done more and made an example of this shit stain of a unicorn for making him look bad by association of their destructive looking cutie marks, but fortunately for her sake, that’s when the guard showed up. They were the City Guard’s Night Division, as opposed to the Night Guard, which still only patrolled the castle. It was an important distinction for a pony in Firestorm’s position: that position being caught doing things good ponies didn’t do in a back alley.
Fortunately for him, there had been a witness. A pony had seen dealings earlier than Firestorm and had already run to find the guards. Between the testimony of witness and the (alleged) victim, Firestorm was not arrested. He was asked to give a statement, which he did. This included giving contact information for when things went to court. Telling these guards that he had no plans of showing up for something so tedious would just make more trouble, so he agreed like a good pony, picked up his paper bag where he’d left it, and went on his merry way.
Feeling like he’d earned himself a treat, Firestorm paid a visit to Pony Joe, the proprietor of Pony Joe’s, and had himself a doughnut. It was chocolate. He and Pony Joe didn’t say much. One stallion was an exquisite baker and the other was a loyal customer, but their relationship didn’t go beyond that. Had they talked, Firestorm feared he might accidently boast about his earlier scuffle, which would have brought unwanted attention down on his head. So this relationship, like most, was kept cordial, brief, and businesslike.
Finishing the last of his doughnut, Firestorm considered telling his peers at the ‘office’ about what had happened. If they were doing their jobs, they should already know, but he was still a pony, dammit! Destroyer or not, he was a herd animal with an ingrained need to socialize.
After what seemed like forever, the orange stallion with the prosthetic arm finally arrived at his home. Specifically, he arrived at the used bookstore that had an apartment built on the second floor. It was a modest place with a desperate need of a new coat of paint, but it was his. He entered and waved to the pony behind the counter.
Wind Burst, a pegasus who was just blossoming into marehood, straightened to attention. She had a look of quiet panic, like she was hoping her boss hadn’t caught her slacking off again. Firestorm just smiled, and looked around. Shelves filled with old, discarded books lined the walls. Most would be surprised to learn that this place actually managed to turn quite the profit, as a number of these books were out of print, making them valuable among collectors. Plus the neighborhood ponies were loyal and liked to give business to local shops instead of making the long trek to the library in the city’s interior.
In that way of micromanaging bosses everywhere, which Firestorm liked to think he wasn’t, he stroked a finger across the counter and held it up for inspection. He tried not to let on how much he was enjoying Wind Burst’s squirming as she awaited his verdict. “Think this place could use a dusting?” It wasn’t really a question.
“Yes sir,” she bowed and grabbed a rag. “Right away sir.”
Firestorm nodded his approval and took the back stairs down to his apartment. It was a modest place with a decent living area, two bedrooms, a kitchen full of used appliances, and a bathroom that was kept habitually clean. He dropped the bag onto the table, eyed it a moment, and gave in to procrastination. He wasn’t in the mood for building things at the moment. The scuffle in the alley left him wondering if there were better ways to use his time, and it wasn’t hard to think of a few, so he entered the second bedroom.
Now, anypony who looked at the floorplan for this building might realize that the second bedroom was supposed to have a lot more space than it actually did. That was because, after greasing a few palms, Firestorm had installed a staircase behind a secret entrance. No pony would notice, because this place was so perfectly situated in one of the most boring districts in Canterlot that not even a burglar could summon the interest to investigate.
The stairs led down to the basement, which also didn’t officially exist. It was sealed behind a door that was near impervious to magic and could only be unlocked with a key, which had been built into Firestorm’s prosthetic palm. He unlocked the door to reveal what, at first glance, appeared to be nothing more than a study, a den, a quiet place for a pony to relax. There was a desk, a chair, shelves full of books and scrolls, and upon the desk was a crystal ball. Nothing especially unusual. Crystal balls weren’t too common, but they were popular among ponies who needed to make frequent communications across long distances. Their drawback was that they tended to be buggy and often misfired when connecting between more than two other crystal balls. Firestorm rather liked them, because he knew that bug was a result of balls like his being specially enchanted to prevent such misfires, which had a side effect of exacerbating bugs in the rest of the network.
Upon the shelves were a few books from his own store, which, as the owner, he was free to borrow and return at his own leisure. Everything else looked just as worn, but nowhere near as common. There were scrolls and books here that were never meant to be viewed by civilians. They weren’t quite important enough to be locked away in the castle’s private archives – available only to Celestia and whoever she had given direct and explicit permission to – but they were still confidential. There were records on the current migration patterns of monsters that were supposedly wiped out or had never been officially confirmed. There were incomplete copies of magical theorems declared too dangerous for public use. Firestorm had been given these with the understanding that he was forbidden from ever trying to fill in the holes, but use them as a reference in case he ever encountered some other pony with something similar. There were also a few forbidden tomes, spells deemed so dangerous that they were broken up, scrambled to resemble typos in ordinary books, and then scattered across caches like these. Supposedly only the Princesses knew which books did what, and the full inventory was further divided up amongst Firestorm’s superiors, but he had his hunches on which of his own books held those extra juicy secrets.
But none of that mattered right now. What mattered to Firestorm was a scroll entitled “Native Monkeys: Equestria’s History of Displacement.” It was a study that claimed that of all the many creatures displaced by the spread of civilization, monkeys were the most affected. Of course, given the lack of summary at the top, actually figuring out that much was a chore onto itself. Anypony who picked up this scroll would be forgiven for thinking it had been written for the express purpose of curing insomnia. The pony who’d written this masterpiece of long windedness had found a way to stretch a statement as simple as “more monkeys used to live around Canterlot” across ten paragraphs, and that was before going into the whos, whens, wheres, and ‘why are you punishing me by making me read this?’
Of course, to anypony who could read the code so cleverly interwoven into the nonsense, they would find a document detailing everything known about humans, and Thomas in particular.
Humans were myths whose stories seemed to originate in Pre-Exodus pony cultures. The accounts were so old and so varied that scholars actually debated on whether or not they were actually describing different creatures. Humans were said to be tall, towering over ponies, yet there was a story of a human so small he was in constant danger of being stepped on. Humans were more violent than the wildest of adolescent dragons, conquering and subjugating everything in their path, yet they also held levels of compassion that would rival the Princesses.
After watching Thomas, and listening between the lines, Firestorm had adopted the unpopular view that these disparate accounts were equally accurate in their descriptions of the same species. Humans were chaotic in nature, although that word had far too much of a stigma. The stallion had admitted as much in his report, saying that their nature might be better described as varied. He gave a soft, satisfied smile when he came to that particular line in the scroll, glad that his word had been properly incorporated. He’d hypothesized that one could take a sampling of any sapient species on Gaia and make a reasonable guess about their average disposition, but that such a thing was far harder with humans, who appeared to be tyrants and saints in equal measure. They were a contradictory species, to say the least, which just made them all the more fascinating.
Of course, all of this was purely conjecture. Thomas had never admitted to anything under a truth spell, or any other standards that Firestorm’s superiors would deem as reliable. But that’s what he liked about it. He’d always had a weakness for mystery novels, and humans were one of the oldest mysteries in recorded history, perhaps older. Unfortunately, the circumstances around this particular human also made studying him rather frustrating.
Study of humans had very nearly experienced a surge in popularity, only for the crowns to step in and stifle it. Research was allowed, but only with agents constantly peeking over their shoulders. As much as Firestorm hated this, he understood the reasoning. Equestria’s one and only human was a tiny, fragile thing. He was rare, unique, which made him inherently valuable to all sorts of unsavory types, who would inevitably catch whatever well-meaning hype had begun with the scholars. Research was stifled, but only to maintain the integrity of the one living sample.
And all of that was decided before the little guy’s emotional ties to Luna.
Firestorm chuckled sadly. He so longed to read the research and theories of other scholars, all competing in search of the ultimate truth. But as it stood, he, a pony whose profession didn’t technically exist, was counted among the seven or so experts in the study of humans. He counted seven because that was the number of ponies actively researching this enigmatic species who also happened to know the origins of this particular specimen.
Firestorm also understood why this part was kept secret. He’d personally seen the research declaring that this human’s arrival was a fluke among flukes and that the odds of another such incident occurring were practically zero. It was solid, and very convincing to a learned pony like himself, but other ponies would not be so rational. Ponies were a naturally skittish species, prone to avoidance of the new at the best of times, and fits of irrational panic at the worst. If the truth got out, restoring order would be a hassle that Firestorm forgave the Princesses for wanting to avoid. But despite all the successes in keeping the secret, ponies had still gotten spooked.
The seven top researchers, including Firestorm, had been spooked to some degree. Oh yes. Learning that an ancient fable long dismissed as pure fantasy was not only real, but an alien race that numbered in the hundreds of millions had been a very spooky revelation. Likewise, ponies who weren’t counted among the experts had also been spooked; ponies like Firestorm’s superiors. He forgave this, not because it was their nature, but because it was their job. Ponies who spooked in a crowd were just a useless rabble that just made the spooky situation worse. Ponies who got spooked professionally had the task of anticipating the spookiness and creating contingencies. They were the mechanics who maintained the very delicate machinery known as social order, and it was still being determined whether or not Thomas was a bug or a feature.
In fact, while reading the encoded document, Firestorm stumbled upon the contingencies he’d personally pinned. He’d gotten a number of pats on the back, though they were hardly warranted, as what he’d written wasn’t all that creative. Most plans boiled down to the simple premise that if the human could not be secured in an emergency scenario, then it should be incinerated. Naturally, the latter was strictly a last resort, but it would have been kinder than leaving him in the unsavory hands of ponies and other creatures that most Equestrians either pretended didn’t actually exist, or had been convinced of such by ponies like himself or his affiliates.
“Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?” called a soft, shimmery, androgynous voice.
Firestorm looked up from his scroll to the crystal ball. There was a pony head inside. “Hold on. You’re signal’s fuzzy.” He leaned forward and touched the tip of his horn to the sphere. “Is this helping?”
“What? Oh, wait a minute.” The pony at the other end was moving around, causing the image to focus on her teats for a second. Then there was a glow. “How’s that? Better?”
“Much better,” Firestorm confirmed. He sat back and got a good look at the pony in the ball. She was an earth pony, slight of build, but definitely had more muscle than the average unicorn. Her body was covered in scars; pretty nasty things that made it look like she might have fallen into a meat grinder at some point. Given the stories she told, that wasn’t too far off. Hard Knock was her name, though he’d never call her that when they were communicating through their balls. As confident as they were in their security, it was still discourteous to reveal their actual names.
“Handy?” Hard asked, calling him by his code name. “What are you doing there?”
“This is my house. Where else should I be?” he deadpanned.
“What? Oh, dammit.” She started moving again. There was the sound of something heavy sliding across the floor. The crystal ball, desperate to try and keep up with her, focused on her plot as she was bending over. At least her tail kept her dignity. “I was trying to call Ticklish. How’d our signals get crossed?”
“If you’ll recall,” Firestorm said calmly to her round and bubbly ass, “Ticklish is on assignment and won’t be back ‘til Sunday, I think. Was it important?”
Hard straightened up, causing her overworked crystal ball to linger on her teats far longer than was necessary, before eventually remembering to ascend up to her face. “Nah. I just finished my assignment with the bat researcher.”
“The supremacist?”
“That’s her.” Hard leaned down, putting her face right up to the crystal, and giving Firestorm a needlessly in depth look up her right nostril. “Go on,” she urged with an ear-to-ear grin. “Ask me how it went.”
Firestorm rolled his eyes at the mare’s foalish behavior. He already knew how she was going to answer. She always got like this when she wanted to show off. This was going to happen no matter what, so he decided to take the path of least resistance and indulge. “Where’s the new scar?”
“Hey! I never said there was a scar.”
“So there isn’t a scar?” That would have been surprising.
“I never said that either.”
“Stars above!” he swore, though his grin said that he wasn’t that angry. “Just show me already.”
“Well, since you asked nicely.” Hard stood back up, but this time the ball was far less janky as it followed her movements. She stepped back a ways and flexed her right arm as though posing for a magazine. Sure enough, there was a freshly closed gash stretching from her elbow to her shoulder. “One of the little shit’s bat minions,” she boasted. “And I do mean a literal bat. Had about a two meter wing span and crazy sharp claws. Kept trying to bite my teats for some reason. So I crushed its head with my bare hand.” She opened her palm, and then balled it into a fist. “Squirter, that one.” She laughed at her own joke.
Firestorm nodded. “And the target?”
“Well, you know,” Hard shrugged noncommittally. “I’d cornered her and was just about to give her the deal, but I never got the chance. She set her alchemy table to blow up. Sent shards of beakers and flasks filled with alicorns-know-what all over the place. Had to spend the rest of the fight with bits of that stuff all over me.” She pointed at various smaller wounds across her body. Those would likely also scar, as magical wounds so often did.
The bat, Firestorm deduced, was a product of illegal magical experimentation, and so any damage it inflicted would forever mar the victim’s body. Although it was hard for Firestorm to even conceive of Hard as a victim. Regardless, she should definitely get checked after this.
“Then a little of this, a little of that,” she continued. “Somepony might have accidentally broke a support beam and caused the ceiling to cave in.”
“Funny how often that happens on your missions,” Firestorm remarked. “Might be some sort of curse.”
Hard laughed. “Yeah. Might be. Anyway, that’s when she set the bat on me. I killed it, so she tried two more. Those must’ve been prototypes, ‘cause they were all misshapen ‘n’ shit. One I think had a heart attack mid-flap. You should’ve seen it,” she chuckled. “Me and the little shit just stood there gawking for a whole, like, five seconds. We’d gotten so pumped for this big fight that for the thing to give out like that was…” She trailed off, laughing some more. “Let’s just say I think she suddenly developed a newfound empathy for stallions who finish prematurely. You know, before the cave in crushed her head.”
“Last minute epiphanies are always…” Firestorm started to say. “Huh. I had this thing about them being good presents to share with Death or something, but it’s not clicking.” He huffed his disappointment with failing to create an adequate zinger. “Anyway, you sure she’s dead?”
“Head and heart in two separate boxes, and the rest I set on fire,” she recited the routine. “If she can come back from this, maybe we can work on her endurance training.” She snickered. “Anyway, that was my yesterday. You do anything fun?”
Seizing upon his chance, Firestorm recounted his exploits in the alley while Hard listened intently. She was always a good listener, especially when it came to stories about fighting.
“Sounds like a common hustle, or maybe a loan shark,” she deduced. “Any drugs?”
“Not that I saw, and I didn’t hear the guards mention anything. So yeah, this was about as common as they come. But it still felt good doing a good deed.”
“Whatever. What about on the porn side of things? Any news there?”
Firestorm rolled his eyes so hard that his head went with them. “Must you call it that?”
“Hey. I’m not the one being paid to watch ponies buck all day and night with an alien. But seriously, who’s ass did you have to kiss to get that assignment?”
Pleased by her jealousy, Firestorm adopted the smuggest of smirks as he made himself comfortable. “That’s for me to know, and for you to find out,” he said in that way he knew would push her buttons.
She was fuming, but quickly got over it. “I ask because outside the free porn – or since they’re paying you, is that negative free porn? Anti-free porn? Whatever.”
“Commercialized voyeurism?” suggested Firestorm.
“Point is, outside of that, it really seems like the most boring assignment ever.”
Firestorm chuckled. “The job only gets exciting when we buck up and everything goes to shit, like with the roof caving in, so I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Hard’s pouting intensified. Now she was on full lip quiver mode. Amused, Firestorm held out just a little longer before caving, but not before performing one last check to make sure the channel was secure. “Just living life so far. The last major update was that break in.”
“Gotta respect the teats on those dumbasses,” she acknowledged. “I mean, it’s still stupid as Tartarus to try breaking into the bucking castle of all places, but it was still pretty teatsy.”
“Indeed. I didn’t even need to be involved with the cover-up. Though if that particular detail had gotten out, it would most certainly warrant as a buck up.”
“The kind that caves in rooves?”
“Best case scenario? At least,” he admitted dryly.
Hard snickered. “Standing orders still standing, I take it? I ask ‘cause, well, you know what time is coming up.”
Firestorm nodded. “No updates on contingencies. The target is still allowed to move and act without excessive restraint.”
“Excessive, huh?” She asked in a way that Firestorm did not care for. “You know, as agent-in-command, doesn’t that afford you some leeway to, you know, intervene at your discretion?” he asked, though he already knew what she meant.
The stallion’s face hardened. “You believe I should intervene?”
Hard pulled away and held up both hands in surrender. “Hey, buddy. I’m not telling you how to do your job here. I’m just sayin’.”
“Saying what, exactly?”
She snorted. “We got lucky with the hippogriffs. Mostly they get griffon strength and pony mentality. But the kirin, well, they literally start fires if their emotions get out of whack. I’m just sayin’ that hybrids are kind of a gamble.”
Firestorm pursed his lips. He understood her concerns perfectly well. Sexual relations between ponies and other races rarely conceived offspring. When they did, the results were often volatile, to say the least; especially in the beginning. Research into the matter was limited and no real answers had ever been found. No pony really understood why the first kirin born had such unstable powers and personalities. Nor did anypony know why, despite having no blood connections to the first attempts, the further a kirin was born from those first attempts, the more stable they tended to be. Even later first generations didn’t have the same problems as their forebears.
One thing was perfectly clear. While the reason remained elusive, the fact of the matter was that the very first hybrids always tended to come with their own special kind of problems; problems that ponies like Firestorm were often tasked with solving.
“For now, I’m content to wait and see,” he finally answered. “The Princesses tend to get all pissy when we buck up and get noticed, and screwing with Luna’s favorite buck toy sounds like exactly the sort of trouble I’d like to avoid.”
Staring through the sphere, Hard silently imparted her concerns. It would have been rude to remind her friend that it was their job to deal with trouble, to make the hard choices now so that harder choices didn’t have to be made later. He knew well enough. Usually it was him reminding her about this sort of thing. “Okay, fine,” she allowed. “You’re usually right about these sorts of things, so I’ll leave you to it.”
Firestorm nodded appreciatively. “Thank you.” Then his ears twitched. “Also, it sounds like boxes are rattling around.”
“What?” Hard spun around. Yet again, in what was supposed to be a search for her face, the crystal ball opted to focus on the mare’s plot. “Goddess almighty!” There was a vaguely avian screech, and then the signal cut out.
Alone, and without the need to maintain appearances, Firestorm chuckled. The whole situation was just too absurd not to tickle his funny bone. He wasn’t concerned for Hard Knocks. Though it was worrying that her target was resurrecting itself, he knew she could handle it. The scars across the mares body told the story of a hard knock life, one that had persistently knocked her down again and again, and then yet again because she stubbornly refused to stay down. It was her way to always get back up. She’d be fine. This, Firestorm knew implicitly.
Then, remembering his desire to avoid trouble, he tuned the crystal ball to make a connection. “Hello there, Smokey.”
“Firestorm?” Lt. Smokey Iron looked up from his stack of paperwork. The grizzled old stallion was surprised at first, but that quickly shifted to a look of annoyance. “What did you do this time?” he tiredly asked.
Firestorm guiltily pursed his lips. “Nothing bad this time.” At the Lieutenant’s continued piercing gaze, he added, “Really! I just got into a bit of a scuffle with some ponies who absolutely deserved it.”
“Uh, huh,” Smokey said in the way of commanders who had heard far too many excuses in their time.
“Well, do you think you could put in a good word for me with the commander of the City Guard’s Night Division? I’d go through the usual channels, but I get the feeling you-know-who’d drag their hooves, I’d get dragged to court as a witness, and that’s just a bad time no one wants to have.”
Iron tiredly rolled his eyes. “Oh fine. I’d probably get called in to clean up your mess, anyway.”
Firestorm clapped his hands together. “Thanks a lot, buddy. What’s say I take you out to lunch on your next day off?”
“Oh no you don’t.” Iron shook his head. “After this, you owe me dinner,” he said with an air of finality, “and dessert.”
“Understood,” Firestorm acknowledged, smiling in satisfaction at the preemptive neutralization of the crisis that was him in a jury. Whether on jury duty, the defendant, the prosecution, or even serving as a witness, him in a court of law always seemed to end badly.
With a final respectful nod, Iron’s signal cut out and Firestorm was once more left in solitude. He glanced down at the scroll he’d been reading, and decided a small update was needed. He penned his concerns about the hybrid issue, detailing how he trusted that the abundant security of the castle was sufficient to handle any problems. The odds of a genuine threat were low, and he wasn’t acting on impulse to satisfy his curiosity. This, Firestorm knew for a fact. He was acting in the best interests of the Princesses, the citizenry, and Equestria as a whole. And if worse came to worse, then he’d take responsibility.
Chapter 127: Moonlight and Honey Traverse the Untraversable
“Does this count as cheatin’?” Honey asked for what seemed like the tenth time as she anxiously looked around at the surrounding ponies. It was impossible not to size them up for what was to come. “‘Cause it kinda feels like we cheated ta get here.”
“Stop being such a worry wart.” Moonlight almost waved a dismissive hand, but didn’t want to break her rhythm. She was in the middle of stretching, squatting down on one knee while the other leg stretched behind her. She held this for a count of ten before switching to the other leg. “We signed our names, the same as everypony. We’ve got no better chance than they do.”
“True, but Ah still wonder if we only got accepted ‘cause of you know who.” Honey had bent over to touch her hooves for a count of twenty, all the while her tail kept her modesty in check.
“I didn’t put that in the application. So if they found out, it was because they did their own digging and it wasn’t my fault.”
“Fair, huh?” Moonlight smirked. It was a confident, slightly dismissive thing as she looked around at the competition. “Does that seem fair to you?”
The space was cordoned off with hanging sheets for walls while the night sky glittered overhead. Mares and stallions of varying ages were spread around the changing area, all in pairs. Some looked to be pretty young, perhaps in their mid-teens, but all had their cutie marks. Some pairs had significant age gaps, which Moonlight attributed to family members joining together. Whether they were siblings or parent and foal was difficult to say. That older stallion trying to straighten the protesting filly’s mane could easily be a doting father or a teasing older brother. All contestants also wore clothing: gym wear to be precise. Jockstraps for the males and sports bras for the females. The floppy parts had to be kept in check for the expected physical activities, after all.
In the middle of her arm stretches, Moonlight glanced down at her own bra covered chest. Her teats weren’t terribly big. She’d be lying if she said their bouncing never hurt when she got into a good run, although she’d hardly call it a distraction. Boot camp had put her through far more trying ordeals and it seemed silly how this precaution was considered mandatory.
Then Moonlight glanced over at Honey. That mare’s teats were something else. She’d seen the big mare run, and while she’d never seen it happen, it always seemed like those great orbs were in a constant state of imminent impact with her face. That would have definitely been a distraction. Moonlight rethought her stance about the clothes, that they were meant to even the playing field for the few mares with Honey’s ‘problem’. That would also explain why stallions had to tuck away their parts as well, to be equal. While Moonlight’s experience with having a dick like that was admittedly limited, she highly doubted that any stallion actually got distracted while running.
“Look at them,” she continued more quietly. “It’s like we’re an oasis in a desert of abs.” Moonlight sucked in a breath, flexing her abdominals and showing off their superb definition. “If any part of this is unfair, it’s that we’re some of the few who actually take care of our bodies.”
Although she seemed reluctant at first, Honey let her lips part in a slight smirk. Trying not to be too obvious about it, she flexed her own abs as well. Then she got a look at the others’ reactions and alternated between a few other parts to really drive home the point. Biceps, quads, and especially the glutes were tactically tightened to show off just what they were capable of. Other ponies turned, staring at the athletic pair with awed fear. It was clear, based on the looks in their eyes, that many were now reconsidering the competition all together. And Honey, though she felt a little guilty about potentially demoralizing them like this, she took a small bit of pride in having a body that could elicit such a reaction in others.
Then Honey’s kinder side said, “Yeah, but we’re jus’ here ta have fun, right?” She was facing Moonlight, but speaking loud enough so that the eavesdroppers could hear. “That’s what this is all about, right? Friends ‘n’ family comin’ together fer a good cause ‘n’ havin’ a good time doin’ it.”
Much of the pseudo room’s hesitation evaporated as ponies went back to more casual conversation. This made Honey even more proud for reminding all of the true spirit of the competition. “Well, Ah’m happy ya brought me along.”
“And I’m happy you’re here. This competition is only here for a few nights, and with our schedule the way it is, you were pretty much the only one who was free who’d actually enjoy something like this.”
Honey chuckled, continuing her stretching. “Yeah. Ah can see that. Silver ain’t much fer sweatin’, ol’ Blue could compete, but Ah’m not too sure she really enjoys this kind of exercise, ‘n’ Thomas…”
Moonlight nodded. “Yeah. I don’t think he’d have very much fun running around while a bunch of strangers watch. Plus I don’t think he’s even read the book.”
“‘N’ Surprise?”
“She already made plans she was really excited for.”
Honey scoffed. “So Ah was yer last choice, huh?”
Moonlight shot the taller mare a bemused smile. “You were actually my first. I’m just disappointed that I can’t try this out with the others.”
“Eh. Ah don’t think they allow repeat entries, anyway,” Honey offered. “Besides, we might be here ta have fun, but that ain’t no excuse not ta give it everythin’ we got!”
Moonlight rolled her eyes and replied, “As if there were any other option.”
Nodding her approval, Honey started running in place, putting her bra through its paces as it fought to contain her titanic teats in its tiny tethers.
“Aww. Isn’t that cute, dear sister? They think they have a chance just because they have a few muscles.” The words were nasally and somewhat self-righteous. Just the sound was enough to sour any mood.
“Yes. Most adorable, dear brother,” tittered the sister. Her voice could best be described as punchable. The way she laughed sounded like a beautiful songbird… being strangled to death while cursing out their assailant.
The concubines turned to face the obnoxiously pretentious voices, trying not to look too disgusted. They were unicorns, because of course they were. Stereotype or not, it was rare that a pony could be so full of themselves without a big ol’ horn coming out of their head, especially in this city. These unicorns were twins. They were the twiniest of twins with identical shades of beige fur topped off with identically short manes of white and pink. Likewise, both ponies had faces frozen in a perpetual state of scowling at some offensive odor. Both were stretching, but not really. Rather than pull on their muscles, it looked like the two were just going through the motions for the sake of appearances. Adding to their twinness was their androgynous features, making their genitals the most overt difference between them. Even their cutie marks were eerily similar, like dull metal ingots with only slight differences in coloration.
Suffice to say, they did not give off good first impressions.
But despite this, Honey had an obligation to be neighborly. “Howdy there, ya’ll. Enjoyin’ the night so far?”
“Oh indubitably,” the young stallion said.
Then the young mare added, “We shall be even better once we win, apple picker.”
Honey’s glare became dangerously narrowed, all while maintaining her friendly smile. The result was a rather dreadful expression that barely hid the fiery rage within. She had not like the way that mare had said ‘apple picker’. Not at all. Taking a proud and noble profession and reducing it to some sort of slur, and a rather weak one at that, was not something the apple picker from a long lineage of apple pickers took lightly.
“Typical commoners,” the stallion scoffed. “They think they can brute force their way through anything.”
“Indeed, dear brother. One might think they are blissfully ignorant of the trivia portion, where brains win over brawn.” That last part was said with a sneer.
“Ah’m gonna step on ‘em,” Honey said to Moonlight as a matter of fact. “Soon as this competition starts, Ah’m gonna stomp ‘em. There’s a slime path, right? Think Ah’ll enjoy rubbin’ their noses in that.”
Moonlight was about to say something to quell her friend’s temper, but the twins continued.
“Typical ruffian. I’d wager she’s never even read the book and just rushed in because some careless advertiser promised there would be slime.”
“I’ll take that bet,” the sister replied. “But let us not be too harsh. No doubt that unicorn brought her in to handle the physically arduous portions in the hopes that her public school,” she said in a contemptuous manner that would give even Blue Blood pause, “education might actually give her a chance.” And both twins started snicker snorting in that punchable way of theirs.
Moonlight blinked once, licked her lips, and then turned to bodily face Honey. “Try to make it look like an accident.”
***
“Good evening, mares and gentle stallions. And welcome to Echelon’s Retreat!” The announcer’s words were greeted by enthusiastic cheers from the stands. “This charity event was sponsored by Scribbler’s Digest, the publishing company behind your favorite book series, and mine: Red Ink’s Echelon!” He paused once more until the applause died down. “Because Scribbler’s Digest cares, the majority of proceeds from the night’s event will go to refurbishing small town schools, to ensure that every foal has a chance to learn the skills they need to one day become a terrific writer.
“As it says in your brochures, these trials will begin with our custom made obstacle courses.” From his place on the stadium, the stallion gestured to the elaborate series of props, pitfalls, and other assorted items commonly associated with high budget obstacle courses. “Those who come out on top will then get a chance to further prove their moxxy in the trivia round. The team that successfully triumphs over all of tonight’s trials will not only take home a cash prize of two thousand bits, but will also receive two signed, first edition copies of Echelon 5: The Rekindling.”
Another uproar followed. “And now let’s meet our contestants.” Two by two, the teams came out according to the numbers they’d been assigned as the announcer gave each of them a short summary. There was a mother and son looking to bond over their mutual love for the book, a young herd of only two mares looking to show off and possibly attract a stallion’s attention, and lots and lots of friends just wanting to have fun.
“And next we have contestant nine, Apple Honey, and contestant ten, Moonlight Shield,” the announcer continued. “Apple Honey works part time for Crescent Produce, ensuring that us city folk all get to enjoy deliciously fresh fruits and veggies. Moonlight Shield is a trained guard, specifically a night guard, stationed out of the castle.” An extra loud cheer followed, possibly out of patriotism, but most notably from the bat ponies in the stands. “So, you look like a couple of well-built mares. Feeling confident?”
A microphone levitated over to the pair, where it was promptly snatched up by Honey. “Ah’m more of a comic gal, mahself, but Ah’ve read Echelon one through four three times in jus’ this last year. Ah know the story back ta front, so ain’t no pony catchin’ me off guard.” That got a small laugh from the audience.
Moonlight took her turn. “I’ve loved Echelon for years. It’s exactly the sort of adventure every aspiring guard hopes to experience from back when we were just foals. Now’s my chance to finally live the adventure!” Short, but concise. The audience loved it.
Several more contestants passed before the snooty pair. “Next on our list is contestant eleven, Murky Silver, and contestant twelve, Murky Gold.” It wasn’t clear which twin was which. “This brother and sister pair are heirs to the Murky Mining Company. Why don’t you tell us what brought you out here?”
Murky – whichever one the male was – took the mic first. “Echelon is a delightful story, if a tad cliché at times.” His words were probably meant to be in good humor, but something about his tone was just downright insulting, to both the books and the fans.
“To be quite honest, brother and I were bored and thought a lovely way to pass the time would be with a bit of sporty competition. The prize money is but a pittance to us.”
“Although getting the books now will certainly save us a bit of time.”
“Right you are, dear brother.”
“Is this real?” Moonlight heard herself ask as she watched the twins snicker. “The way they talk… It’s like a caricature of snobby unicorn stereotypes. There’s no way that’s natural.”
“Would it actually be better if they was jus’ puttin’ on a show ‘n’ jus’ pretendin’ ta be asses?”
“I honestly don’t know.” Moonlight pinched the bridge of her nose, took an extended inhale, visualizing all of her frustration building up in her throat, and exhaled it all away. “Let’s just play the game.”
And play they did. Being set up in one of the larger parks, the obstacle course had plenty of room to spread out and give the contestants plenty of obstacles to face. The rules were mindful of the possibility that no pony might finish the course, so the judges would measure how far each contestant got and grant points, which would add up to the final teams moving on to the trivia rounds.
First on the list of self-humiliation for money and the entertainment of strangers were the balls. Contestants had to traverse a series of rubbery spherical platforms looming over a pool of slime of ‘nondescript’ origin. There was most likely nothing hazardous about the slime, but describing it as ‘nondescript’ added that extra bit of incentive not to fall in. Oh, and there were spinning wheels of padded arms that would slowly spin and knock out any players with poor environmental awareness. The whole thing was a far tamer version of Echelon’s training course from book one.
Following a brief demonstration of how everything worked, the first to take the field were the mother and son pair. The son ran ahead first, right into the spinning wheel and getting knocked into the slime. The mother was so distracted that she foolishly tried to pull him up, only to lose her grip and fall on top of him. They had failed, and terrifically so at that. It was unlikely that they’d progress to the next round. However, their refusal to stop laughing assured all that they were in good spirits. They’d had fun, and that’s what mattered.
When it came time for Moonlight and Honey to run, the pair shared a nod. Moonlight ran ahead first, careful not to rely on her momentum for an early lead. Other contestants had shown that such a strategy came at the cost of balance over a short gain in distance. Instead, she was careful, hopping from ball to ball, her focus ever shifting to the spinning arms that forced her to duck down, quickly stand back up, and then hop to the next ball. The key was timing, and she executed the first round masterfully, and cleanly.
Honey was more of a show off. She hopped between the first few balls the same as anypony else. But when the first wheel made its slow but threatening approach, the mare elected to jump straight up instead of ducking down. It worked, at first. Unfortunately, the second to last ball in line was less sturdy than its predecessors. She lost her hoofing and fell into the slime. *Splat* “Shoot!” She slapped the green ooze in frustration, and then licked her lips. “Kiwi?” She smacked her lips ponderously. “Gross.”
It seemed like the lineup of contestants was far from random. Based on their levels of performance, the first few were likely those that the judges figured never stood a chance, making them perfect as comedic openers. Moonlight and Honey, by their reasoning, were the start of those deemed to not be completely hopeless. Then again, this was purely conjecture, as plenty of seemingly fit ponies suffered terribly in the throws of the merciless slime that made one’s fur unbearably sticky.
“Ah hope there’s a shower when all this is done,” Honey said. She wiped off a large globule of the viscous substance and slapped it to the floor. It made a disgusting wet splat. When Honey saw one of the fallen male contestants walk by, she was filled with wrath for what she had only realized was a gross advantage given only to the males. This advantage was even grosser than the lingering taste of kiwi in her mouth, because the stallion’s jockstrap meant that his package was as clean as could be reasonably expected. Alas, the same could not be said for the earth mare, as the slime slimed its way into every nook and cranny it could reach, almost overwhelming her with the need to scratch and dig it out. But ponies were watching, so she’d have to wait. “Or at least a hose!”
When it was finally time for the twins, Moonlight looked at the crowd and guessed that she and Honey weren’t alone in hoping for this team’s total and complete demise. So, just like the rest of them, her jaw about hit the floor when she saw them move. Unlike literally everyone before who went one at a time so as not to fight over the limited space, these two leapt forward as one. They were in perfect synch, moving as though to a rhythm only they could hear. Jump, straighten, pose as if they expected pictures to be taken, and then jump again. When the arms of the wheel came whirling at them at speeds bordering on glacial, the twins locked hands and nearly dropped their bodies to either side of the ball. They’d have most certainly fallen if either of their grips gave out, but that didn’t happen. They held fast onto one another and then used that very leverage to pull themselves back up before making the next leap.
“D-did that jus’ happen?” Honey asked as she watched the pair touch down at the end of the course with barely a hair out of place.
“I… guess?” Moonlight wasn’t too certain, either. She was aware that Honey was using her as a wall to obscure her unsightly but absolutely necessary digging for slime from whence it had no business. And although she didn’t like it, she was careful not to move.
“They didn’t pull any secret magic, right?”
Moonlight shook her head. “Not possible. There are detectors all over the place. Something would have gone off.” She shook her head. “They must be using twin powers.”
“Is that cheatin’, or even real?”
“The idea that twins have some kind of mental link is still just theoretical, so probably not.”
“Oh well,” the green mare huffed as she ‘discretely’ cleaned herself out. “That jus’ makes it more of a challenge.”
Moonlight smiled back, appreciative of her friend’s spirit.
“At least one of you got out clean,” said a mare dripping with slime. She and her partner were white and blue based on the few dry patches of fur, although their manes looked distressingly beyond repair. Regardless, both were smiling giddily.
“Ah know you,” Honey said. “Yer that herd lookin’ ta catch some feller’s eye.”
“That’s not the only reason,” the white mare protested. “Sure, it’d be nice if it did, but we’re not actually expecting anything.”
“Speak for yourself,” countered the blue mare, giving the other a playful shove, which, based on the slipperiness of the slime, very nearly turned into an accidental slap. “Shoot! Sorry.”
“Eh, no big. I deserve it for letting you talk me into this.”
“Hey. Don’t talk like that in front of our new friends. They’ll think you’re all gloomy and won’t want to hang out later.”
“You want to hang out?” Moonlight asked.
“Well sure. This is actually our last night in the city before we have to catch the train, so we might as well live it up with a couple of cool mares like you.”
Honey turned to Moonlight and gave a half smile. “Well, they’ve got good taste.” Then she made a face after discovering a hidden deposit of slime in her mouth. “Which is more ‘n’ Ah can say. Yuck!” And she spat.
“Agreed.” With a smile and a roll of her eyes, the unicorn offered her hand to shake. “Moonlight Shield. And this is Apple Honey.”
“Blue Clover. And this is my herd mate, Fresh Air,” the blue mare introduced. “We’re tourists visiting from Baltimare.”
“You work in the castle, right?” Fresh asked, directing her question at Moonlight. “You ever see the Princesses?”
Moonlight knew this question was coming. She saw its approach from a mile away, which made it all the more disappointing how it still caught her by surprise. Her hand slapped over her muzzle to stifle her snorting snickers. Honey did much the same, only far more restrained.
“You could say that,” the orange mare said to the confused couple. “I see more of Princess Luna in one night than most ponies do in a lifetime.”
While Clover’s jaw hung in awe, Fresh had something to say. “That would probably be a lot more impressive if she’d been around for more than a year.”
Honey chuckled and bumped Moonlight’s shoulder, thoughtlessly spreading the sticky blight. “She’s got ya there.”
Fresh, after quizzically studying them for a second, pointed an accusing finger between the pair. “Hey. Are you two hiding something? You’re acting like there’s something you’re not saying.”
“Oh, a secret!” chirped Clover. “Is it a juicy one? Can you tell us?”
Moonlight thought it over a second, but decided there was no harm. “Would you believe were actually Princess Luna’s concubines?”
“Be pretty cool if it was true, though,” commented Fresh. “That’d be the greatest job ever.”
“I would have to agree,” remarked Moonlight with a straight face, pretending not to notice Honey shaking with suppressed chortles.
Clover continued. “But you guys did pretty well in the first round. I’ll bet you take home the gold.”
“There isn’t any gold, Clover,” reminded Fresh.
“There’s first edition books. Maybe they’re also gold plated.”
“I hope not,” Moonlight said. “Gold plated books are just tacky. It would be like the author’s trying to flaunt their wealth instead of their writing skill.”
“Ah heard a rumor ‘bout the secret archives in the castle. They actually use really expensive lookin’ books with fake spells as decoys from the dangerous stuff.”
Moonlight chuckled. “If a thief manages to circumvent castle security all the way to the archives, only to fall for such a simple trick…” She laughed again. “They should be locked up, but not as punishment. With a combination of high skill and low wit, well, they need to be protected from hurting themselves more than anything.”
The four mares shared a laugh over that. They continued chatting away as the remaining contestants entered the waiting area. In short order a water hose was offered, but only for the hands and hooves. The slime was a mark of shame that needed to be worn until the end of the competition. Although Honey almost got into a fight in demanding her nether regions be cleaned.
Once everyone had had their turn and gotten rinsed off, the judges tallied up the scores and eliminated half of the contestants while the first course was packed up. The material was a magical construct that only remained sturdy for so long before it basically melted, making it very easy to clean. Likewise, it was easy to set up as the second course inflated before everyone’s eyes.
The second course also had spinning wheels, although these were not to be avoided. Three wheels with three platforms on their ends were arranged over the course. The goal was to stay on the platform of one wheel until you could jump to the next. Poles were irregularly arranged to sweep over the platforms as they passed, forcing contestants to keep an eye on their hooves. While at first this one seemed far simpler, the kicker was the addition of actors armed with slime hoses. These dastardly ponies had been worse than instructed to spray any hapless contestant to their heart’s desire; they were being paid to do it, and they looked exactly as happy as one would expect from such a profession. That is to say, they looked punchably happy. At least the first wheel was safe from being sprayed.
This time it was the young herd that got to go first. Poor them. Clover was tripped on the first wheel. Fresh had made it all the way to the third, keeping a low center of gravity to withstand slime shots. However, she didn’t see that one pole coming. She tried to climb over it, but it was too late. Her grip faltered, and she fell to her slimy doom. And with neither mare completing the course, their team was tragically eliminated.
When it was the concubines’ turn, Honey volunteered to go first. Much to everyone’s amazement, she had very little trouble this time around. She was so tall that she could easily step over the poles with next to no fuss. The slime hoses were precisely as icky as she’d feared, but the platform had some kind of anti-slime coating over it to help prevent slips. Honey took the full force of the hoses head on, posing like a super hero, and causing most ponies in the audience to think solid as a rock well before the announcer said anything. When the last wheel made its last rotation, the green mare in green slime casually stepped off and held up a fist in triumph. The audience cheered, and then she ran off to the resting area.
Moonlight guessed what her friend wanted, and hoped the staff would just let her have the hose and wouldn’t fight her for it. If they did, things would really get messy.
But back to her own turn, Moonlight hopped onto the first platform, mindful of her breathing. The principle of the course wasn’t too dissimilar from the last one. She just had to be mindful of her surroundings and jump when needed. She did that with the first tripping pole and leapt onto the next rotating platform. That was where the dastardly sprayers were allowed to do their thing. It was probably deliberate that it took so much work to get the hose ready, because the movements from the turret positions alerted her to incoming fire. Guard training helped her guess the trajectory of each shot and dodge accordingly. Fortunately, while the hoses were also very slow to turn, their numbers more than made up for it. Moonlight ducked, dodged, and had to carefully time her jumps so as not to be shot mid leap. There was a close call when some lucky ass grazed her scalp and completely drenched her mane. Icky sticky goo dripping down her back was a horrific distraction to endure, but endure she did until the end. Then she hurried over to the hose to aid Honey in its rightful seizure.
The next few contestants were largely hit and miss, just as before. It was clear which team members were the more athletic as most of the time, only a single member was able to make it through, and rarely unscathed. It wasn’t long before the ponies guarding the cleaning hose were outnumbered and overwhelmed, forcing them to retreat. The uprising of the sticky had succeeded and now Honey, having elected herself grand master of cleaning, began redistributing cleansing water amongst the proletariats. At least, that’s how the announcer described it. A unicorn who’d been watching the scene decided to project the debacle onto the course’s painted background. It was so entertaining that the next contestant in line was gently asked to wait while the audience watched everything play out.
When it came time for the twins, the audience and contestants were still optimistic for their downfall, but also intrigued if and how their twin powers might get them out of this jam. The rotating platforms were a lot smaller than the balls. Even a couple of shorties like them would have trouble moving freely. They seemed to agree, but in a manner that still showed off their brazenness. When the brother leapt onto the first available platform, the sister barely waited a second before jumping onto the second. It looked like the twins were being more careful this time as they let the wheel make two full spins. Clearly they were using the relative safety of the first wheel.
By the time of the third spin, the twins made their move. The wheels were so close that the platforms interlocked like the teeth of a gear. When the platforms were in precisely the right position, both leapt at once. The audience held their breath in the brief second it took for them to land, and a unanimous exhale was released when both hit their marks. This was followed by several shifting forward in their seats as they saw the goo hoses being readied. The first aimed at the sister and she easily ducked down. However, the sight of his sister being attacked by filth distracted the brother enough that he very nearly tripped over the tripping pole. He avoided falling, though with a notable lack of grace. Incensed by her brother’s embarrassing display, the sister also let herself become distracted when a second volley from the hose turret grazed her right arm. Offended unicorn noises sputtered out from her lips, very few of which were intelligible, but context suggested that most were swears.
The brother leapt to the third wheel next and motioned for his sister to follow. Alas, she missed her mark, too caught up with scraping her fur clean. Between her single minded persistence and the frustrating adhesiveness of the kiwi goo, she’d probably rub her arm bald before she got herself clean. However, it seemed like a far worse fate was in her future. Firstly, she didn’t notice the tripping pole. She tripped, but fell onto the platform instead of the ewey gooey ooze down below. Secondly, still targets were notoriously easy to hit, as the hose turret operators were all too happy to demonstrate. The sister, Murky – whichever – was blasted at full force with nasty green slime. She cried out and held up her hands in a futile endeavor to protect herself, deflecting goo in every direction, but it was all for not. Struggling after being slimed was a death sentence for good balance, even with the anti-stick coating on the platforms.
Then, just when it looked like she was doomed, her brother reappeared. He grabbed onto the least slimy part of her arm and, demonstrating a level of strength well beyond his apparent physique, yanked her back up and onto a neighboring platform. The twins weren’t given long to catch their breath before another volley was fired their way. They hurried along, indifferent to the absence of grace, and made it to the third platform. Both itched and scratched the whole way, but were far more mindful of their surroundings this time. This meant that they were aware of the snickering crowd. Their humiliation was on full display, the same as all other contestants. Gritting their teeth, they knuckled under and made the final leaps all the same.
No longer did they look like prize winning acrobats awaiting medals to be set upon their necks. Now they weren’t much different from the other contestants. Holding their heads high and mustering what little dignity they had left, the twins marched to the back where the hose of cleaning rested. Naturally, the unicorn that had been projecting the images from before had seen fit to restart the process. Mindful of this, the twins were the very picture of gracious nobility as they beseeched the grand master of cleaning for her precious gift. With the shit-eatingest of grins, Honey obliged, starting at full blast on their faces before moving down to the rest of them.
All but two were laughing their asses off at this before the winners were separated out to continue. However, before they could head back to the start, each contestant was given an arm band with their number on it. Mysteriously, the bands were random with their coloration and even patterns, though they were not unique. Each band had a duplicate, but belonging to ponies from different teams.
“We’ll be doing something a bit different for the next course,” informed the announcer as the stage finished being broken down behind him and the next was set up. “I think we’ve had enough of jumping for the time being, so this will be set on terra firma all the way through.” He grinned at the cries of gratitude from the remaining contestants. “I’m sure you all remember book three, when Echelon mad his daring escape from the Palace of Pain and through the city streets.” The ground of the course adopted a sandy appearance as blockish buildings sprouted up like daisies. “Instead of teams taking turns, this course will be a free-for-all! That’s right. Everyone plays together!”
The cheers of the audience were matched only by the hoots and hollers from the contestants. Walking on solid ground, and having your teammate by your side in a way that wasn’t a hindrance was like a dream come true. More so, having read the book and remembered the scene, the contestants already had a general idea of what would be expected of them before the announcer could say it. Feeling confident in their ability to meet this challenge, they were only mostly right in their predictions.
“Echelon needed to evade the city guard,” explained the announcer as ponies stepped out in period appropriate costumes. Bronze plates covered their chests while red loincloths were all that were afforded their genitals. The same shade of red capes fell half way down their backs, adorned with the spikey sigil of the Palace of Pain. Each was armed with a shield and club, both covered in patting. “But he didn’t do it alone. He was accompanied by the then nameless prisoner he’d met in his cell. Though he knew nothing about this stranger, Echelon took a chance and the both of them worked together to finally reach freedom. And in the spirit of trusting in strangers…” The announcer turned to the contestants with a cruel and sphincter clenching grin.
“I’d like to direct your attention to those fashionable new arm bands you’re sporting.” At the announcer’s cue, the projector unicorn gave the audience a close up. “These bands not only bear your number, but also signify your new partner!” There came an audible gasp. “That’s right folks. We’re mixing up the teams. Now how about you lovely fillies and colts see which stranger you’ll be taking to the finish line.”
It was with great trepidation that friends and families split up to seek out their new partners. Some were more satisfied with others.
“Well this isn’t so bad,” Fresh Air said while offering her hand. “At least on my end. Sorry you had to trade down.”
“Don’t worry,” Moonlight replied, accepting the shake. “You’ve done great so far. The two of us should be fine.”
“I wish I could say the same for my old partner.” An uneasy grin was turned towards Clover. She’d been reassigned to a stallion about a head shorter than herself, but still very handsome and well-built. However, based on the way they were giggling and whispering to one another… “Yeah, I don’t think she’s gonna make it,” Fresh observed, resigned to the inevitable. “Cute boys are her weakness.”
“Well at least they look cute together,” added Moonlight helpfully. “You’ll probably walk out of this with a date. As for me,” she smiled flatly at her fellow concubine. “We’ll be lucky if we don’t end up being hauled off in cuffs.”
Honey was currently engaged in a standoff with the male twin. Her arms were folded huffily as she bore down on him with her mightiest sneer. The lighting had been arranged perfectly so as to completely cast him in her shadow. Murky whichever, however, had his hands on his hips. He was posing as if to show off, as if he believed that his physique were somehow comparable to Honey’s Amazonian musculature and intended to intimidate her. Also, his nose was scrunched as if he’d detected some offensive smell. Though few would ever admit it, everyone watching was hoping that the short prat would mouth off enough to provoke the lean, mean, muscle machine mare. It would be terrible if that happened, but also funny.
“Watch yourself, peasant! I’d hate for you to get your stink upon me anymore than-” Doomed by his own words, the tiny unicorn was hefted up in Honey’s arms. In any other context, this would have been a friendly bear hug. Here, Honey was discretely trying to use the stallion’s body as a wash rag, pressing him against every dirty sticky spot along her person in order to share the wealth. Her grin was downright sadistic as she clamped a hand over his mouth to quiet his protests. The audience found this hilarious while Moonlight sighed her relief, thankful for her friend’s self-control.
“Now, now. Let’s play nice, everypony,” chided the announcer. “If you wish, you may return to your original pairings after this match is over. However, the purpose of this particular match is to test team work under less than ideal circumstances. That means that if you and your new partner fail to pass, then you are both disqualified!”
Hearing this, Honey ceased in her harassment of the stallion and set him back on his hooves. Fortunately, nothing untoward had arisen for either of them. They were too busy trying to make the other spontaneously combust with their eyes. The assault upon Honey was two-fold as the Murky sister glowered at her from beside her partner, a random stallion of average build that none of the others recognized.
“Truce,” Honey finally offered, hand extended.
Looking like he’d rather stick his hand in a wood chipper, Murky eventually accepted. His handshake was obscenely weak to the point of actually offending the earth mare. It was clear that he wasn’t even trying.
“Now I’ll bet most of you are looking at those buildings and thinking to yourselves, ‘Hmm. I could probably jump on those buildings to evade the guards.’ And you’d be right,” the announcer informed gleefully. “The guards aren’t allowed to climb over the buildings, not that they’d want to.” He let his words hang a second before elaborating. “You see, a variety of booby-traps have been set up throughout the city. Some buildings you can stand on without a care. Others, well…” He signaled a guard at a corner to bash the side of a building. It cracked like an egg and icky green goo oozed out like puss from an infected wound. “Let’s just say you ought to be careful.”
The contestants shuddered in revulsion.
After a few final well wishes from the announcer, the contestants got into position at the starting line. Ahead of them was the sandy cityscape of Pain. The buildings averaged at chest-high for unicorns with some looking more like overly decorated chairs than places of business or residence. The ‘guards’ were split with about a quarter forming a line in front of the city while the rest were interspersed throughout the city. On cue, all bashed their clubs to their shields in a display of dominance and intimidation, though the effect was lost with the sound of foamy pillows hitting equally soft surfaces. Additionally, there were ponies dressed as peasants pushing carts of rotten vegetables through the disproportionally wide streets of the city. They were designed as mobile but non-confrontational obstacles. Collectively, the actors on the field outnumbered the contestants about three-to-two, which meant that things would be far from easy.
“You’d better make it,” Honey stated firmly. “Ah’d hate ta embarrass ya by tellin’ the others ‘bout yer shameful loss.”
“Don’t worry,” assured Moonlight. “When I win the book, I might lend it to you some time.”
“On your marks,” began the announcer. “Get set.” He paused for far too long, both he and the audience utterly eating up the tension as the contestants fidgeted in anxious need to move. Would there be a false start? That would have been excellent. Alas, when it seemed like that wouldn’t happen, the announcer finally signaled, “Go!”
Everyone erupted from the line at once, charging headlong into the first squad of guards. The guards spread their ranks thin and picked out targets to block. One guard could only effectively block one pony each, but that’s where teamwork kicked in; such as it was. Some pairs tried a very basic double team on the nearest guard, tackling him or her and then running past. Most of the time, however, they’d just trip over themselves and fall, whereupon they would be mercilessly clubbed by the padded sticks. Moonlight decided to show off what a real guard was capable of by jumping sideways into the air and rolling under her obstacle’s hooves. Her opponent fell right on her face and Fresh cheered as she ran by the incapacitated guard. Honey approached her opponent with all the grace and poise of a runaway truck, barreling through and knocking the guard aside, all while dragging Murky by his wrist as if he were a sack of potatoes.
Now that they were entering the city, the remaining teams had to be careful. Between the guards and cart pushers patrolled the narrow streets, it would be obscenely difficult to get past either if they were blocking the way. Common sense dictated that leaping over the miniature buildings would be far easier. That’s what Echelon did, after all. But therein lay the issue of booby-traps. They weren’t all the same, either. The lead team was blasted back by a burst of magical force while another lost their hoofing upon a building that was entirely empty, but nowhere strong enough to support their weight. Thusly, unless it couldn’t be helped, the safest approach would be to navigate the maze of the city streets.
Honey’s and Moonlight’s teams reached the city at different times and entered at different points so as not to get in each other’s way. The latter had a hard time seeing over the buildings and was thus denied the advantage of seeing and assessing the path early. With no option but to guess, Moonlight led the way left, then left, then right, and into a dead end. She swore and doubled back, almost running into another team and having to awkwardly side-step one another. All of this was complimented by the ambience of contestants screaming and cursing, guards hooting, audiences either laughing or flinching in sympathy, and the various sounds of booby-traps going off.
Honey’s team wasn’t fairing much better. Experimentally she kicked at one of the buildings. It cracked like an egg and released a cloud of stink that smelled worse than asparagus farts. She and her hapless teammate ran more to escape the gas than to progress through the course. This took them to one of the carts. It was slowly moving away and would, in time, leave the next turn open for them to take. However, whereas Murky was ready to turn around and try another route, the impatient Honey tightened her grip and leapt onto the cart’s contents. The old cabbage stank to high heaven and squished repulsively under any amount of pressure. However, these were familiar sensations to the farmer, and a far cry preferable to the gas or slime. Murky merely whined like a useless prat as he was dragged along and through the cabbages, until finally Honey leapt clear over the cart puller. The cart puller whistled how impressed he was, which Honey acknowledged with a playful wink.
When Moonlight and Fresh came upon a guard, there wasn’t room for her to try rolling again; not without risking scraping her horn, which simply wasn’t an option. The armored mare was almost as big as Honey, meaning that squeezing past was unlikely. It would be one thing if she were allowed magic. If she had Honey, Surprise, or any other pony with a modicum of combat skills, this would be no problem. Alas, she was stuck as a civilian, which meant she was worse than alone. She was dragging along a burden.
“Hey, watch this!” announced Fresh. She’d picked up some errant bit of debris and chucked it at the guard. Wait, no. Not at the guard, but at the building to her left. The building cracked open and unleashed a burst of putrid gas right in the guard’s face. With their opponent now coughing and gagging, Fresh grabbed Moonlight’s wrist and led the charge. Breaths held and mouths covered, they muscled their way past the gassed guard and onwards into the maze.
“How did y-”
“Red marks.” Fresh pointed at a red symbol on a building they passed. “Booby-trapped buildings all have different markings. Red means gas. Purple is extra sticky goo. And,” as she spoke, a team on the far side of the maze screamed as they were rocketed backwards, “I think the blue project the magical force. Still not sure about the rest, though.”
Now that she knew what to look for, Moonlight blinked in awe as she reexamined the surrounding buildings. “How did you see that?”
“Hey, I might like Echelon, but I love me some Daring Do. She knows how to make puzzles fun.”
Unfortunately, Fresh hadn’t been all that quiet as in the first part of her explanation. Word quickly spread so that even those who couldn’t immediately crack the code at least knew of its existence. Though that did little good for the slow and careless who were still subject to the roaming guards and cart pullers. By the end of it all, only six of the remaining contestants actually made it to the finish line.
Old team members rushed to embrace one another, regardless of if they’d won the last round. Honey and Moonlight were no different. Neither were bothered by the grotesque smells or offensively squishing substances that coated their bodies. They were together again and that was all that mattered. The reunion between the twins was far colder as they, after having been dragged through the muck, maintained a respectful distance and exchanged curt nods. Fresh gave a forlorn sigh at seeing Clover wave in departure, though she did manage a grin at how her mate was hand-in-hand with the stallion.
“And let’s hear it for our final contestants,” began the announcer as he walked down the line, mic in one hand and the other wafting at his nose. Behind him, the course was quickly being replaced. “Goodness gracious me, did we put these guys through the ringer or what, folks?” The audience found that funnier than the contestants. “Well lucky for them, because this brings an end to the physical portion of the challenges. Lastly, but certainly not least, we have the trivia challenge!”
The stage area had morphed to a more traditional gameshow setting with gaudy colored floors, booths for the remaining teams, and a big score board up top. When the teams – old and new – were directed to their respective booths, their faces appeared up on the board, along with shiny gold numbers representing their scores. The twins held a solid lead on first place with Honey and Moonlight at an uncomfortably distant third. Second place, surprisingly enough, went to Fresh and the stallion – Side Step – that the Murky sister had been paired with.
“Alright then, folks,” the announcer continued, now stepping to the booth on the far side of the stage. “This last portion is very simple. Each team has a buzzer. When I ask a question, the first team to hit their buzzer gets a chance to answer. You answer correctly, you get ten points. You answer incorrectly or not at all after hitting the buzzer, and you lose twenty points. There are fifty questions. The team with the highest score at the end of the questionnaire wins the game. Not to mention,” he motioned and a cloth was lifted from a display case containing the coveted books, “these fabulous first editions!”
All regarded the books with a longing hunger. They looked very much like starving people eyeing the first piece of good food they’d seen in months. Even the twins looked to be on the brink of salivating. Then they all turned to one another, eyes alight with fire and competitive fervor. This was it. The last leg of the journey. Now was the time for the winner to be selected.
“And without further ado, let’s get this ball rolling,” informed the announcer as he held up a card to his face. “Question one.” He paused as all three teams moved their hands to hover over the buzzers. “Who was Echelon’s mother-”
*Bzz*
“Gracious song!” Fresh blurted.
The announcer tutted. “Ah, ah. Let me finish.” He pointed up to the scoreboard where twenty points were subtracted. “Who was Echelon’s mother… trying to impress during the dance of…” The announcer took his sweet time in watching all three teams sweat. All seemed to think they knew the answer, so it was all a matter of who could try first. “… blades.”
*Bzz*
“The Octoberist Cult!” declared Moonlight.
“That… is…”
“I swear he’s getting off on this,” Moonlight whispered, to which Honey nodded.
“Correct!” A bell rang and ten points were added to the board.
And on it went. The twins maintained their lead, but were quickly put on edge. It had become apparent that the twins’ self-professed superior knowledge was largely hot air as they answered the fewest questions correctly. Moonlight and Honey had surpassed Fresh's team in no time, though all three were soon neck-in-neck for the win. By the time of the final question, all six ponies were sweating bullets. Between that and lingering slime, it was a dreaded possibility that somepony might slip and fall while attempting to hit the buzzer.
“Now some might question the fairness of this final question,” the announcer explained. “However, it was insisted by Red Ink, himself. You see, this last question isn’t based on anything from the previous books, but is actually set there.” He pointed at the encased prizes as the audience gasped in shock. “To test your mettle as true Echelon fans, will you be able to figure out what’s coming before even seeing the first page?”
In answer, the remaining contestants became a lot less confident. Some even relaxed their buzzer pushing hands entirely. The twins looked up to confirm that they were still in the lead, if only by five points. Though they were whispering, their competition could hear their plan to simply do nothing. Answering questions from a never-read book was surely impossible, so as long as no pony answered correctly, the twins would come out on top. It was a lazy strategy to be sure, even cowardly, but it might just work. The others weren’t so comfortable in their position. If either of them answered correctly, they would take the win. However, an incorrect answer would drop them down to third place and a far less valuable prize.
“So here we are, folks. The very last question,” the announcer explained, drawing things out as much as equinely possible. “Our final question actually has nothing to do with Echelon, but his brother, Cube.” The announcer relished the confusion on everypony’s faces. Cube was a secondary character in the first book that had disappeared early in the story, only to reappear half way through the fourth book to join Echelon’s rebellion. Overall, the guy’s impact on the greater story barely qualified as a footnote. He could tell that they were all thinking this, making him all the more excited for having the truth in his very hands. “For the win, here is the final question.” He cleared his throat. “In book four, it was hinted that Cube was off on his own adventures during books two and three. In particular, he said that he’d joined a certain faction. Which faction was it?”
“Well spank me hard ‘n’ call me a Pear,” Honey swore. “How the hey am Ah supposed ta know that?”
“I’d actually forgotten who Cube was until just now,” confessed Fresh. “What could he have done that’s so important?”
“There’s something we’re missing,” said Side. “A good author knows how to set clues to properly foreshadow these things.”
Fresh nodded. “Ok. So let’s piece things out. What do we know about Cube?”
“He’s a quiet one,” answered Honey. “Never said much. We’re told he did stuff, but it was never actually shown.” She clucked her tongue. “Even Echelon wasn’t sure anythin’ really happened.”
“So it’s a secret,” inferred Moonlight. “Maybe he joined a faction that’s good keeping secrets?” Her brief moment of optimism fell as quickly as it began. “Which narrows it down to about twenty.” She hissed and impotently stomped her hoof in a low-key tantrum.
“Cube was an earth pony, so he probably didn’t go to any of the magic factions.”
“He could have been an assistant or an alchemist,” Moonlight argued. “Maybe they even used him as a spy.”
“He does have a knack for blendin’ in,” agreed Honey.
“But wouldn’t that be too obvious?” Side asked. “Red Ink wouldn’t go for the obvious trope of the quiet stallion learning to properly use his quiet for good. I think it’d be more likely if Cube learned something completely new and is now only pretending to be quiet.”
“That does sound like something Red would want to do,” allowed Fresh. “But what? We still don’t have any solid leads.”
“You hear that, dear brother? They haven’t a clue.”
“Yes indeed, dear sister,” he chuckled. “Though I suppose this would be a familiar state for riffraff such as them, wouldn’t you say?”
“Ah shut yer yaps!” Honey barked, her booming voice making the twins jump in fright. “Like ya’ll know any better.”
“Yeah! If you knew, you’d just say it and guarantee your win,” added Fresh. She then turned to the others and muttered, “Like they’d miss out on the chance to run their mouths and show off.”
“Show? Show…” Moonlight hummed as she looked out over the stage. “Show. Run their… That’s it!”
“What is?”
“The courses! They-” Moonlight lowered her volume so that only the four of them could hear. “What if the courses weren’t random? What if they were chosen because they were somehow relevant to this last question?”
“That’s also something Red would do,” agreed Side. “So we got three action packed running scenes; all three are basically escapes, but the first two are through the wilderness while the last is in the city.”
Honey snapped her fingers. “Ah got it! In all those scenes, Echelon kept stumblin’ across some random pedestrians. They all seemed ta be on the slow side ‘n’ didn’t understand what was happenin’.”
“Which made them into obstacles for Echelon’s pursuers,” added Moonlight. “Well except for the first time where Echelon actually helped the poor old guy out and he ‘accidentally’ showed off that secret escape tunnel.”
Honey nodded. “Right. What if that weren’t all a coincidence? What if they was all connected?”
“They were mares and stallions,” corrected Fresh, “so I doubt they were all Cube in disguise. Though I guess they could all be part of the same faction.”
“But which faction?” insisted Side. “Of all the factions in the kingdom, which one was already widespread enough to help Echelon so early in his journey, and have the motivation to do so?”
“Not the Octoberists or the Midnight Fang,” Moonlight began, listing off the least likely candidates now that they had some solid criteria to work with.
“Sorry folks, but this is getting a little long,” informed the announcer as he clicked a button. Panels folded out just below the score board to reveal a timer. It started at one minute, and quickly flipped to 59 seconds. “Let’s make this a little more interesting, shall we?”
“Ticking clock, ponies!” Side informed urgently. “Who would want to be helping Echelon so early?”
“Merchant Guild? No. Fighter’s Guild? No again,” Moonlight listed. “Dammit! Who are we missing?”
45 seconds.
“Cube is quiet, which, uh, means he’s a thinker?” Fresh proposed. “Cube sounds like a thinker kind of name, right?”
Side hissed and shook his head. “No. That just brings us back to everypony. Everypony keeps secrets, and any faction that doesn’t just ends up destroyed by the others. There’s got to be something more.”
“Thirty seconds, ponies,” teased the announcer.
“Ah’m gonna slug either that guy or the twins,” Honey stated matter-of-factly.
“Echelon’s trying to prevent the war that’s been foreshadowed from book one, the one that’s supposed to devastate the region. Everypony else is trying to win, so who would want to stop fighting entirely?”
No pony answered. Some were rubbing their heads or bent over their podiums in brain-racking thought. This was that nightmare of a test they’d all forgotten to study for, only worse because the likely passers of the test were a couple of stuck-up jerks.
“Ten seconds!”
“Ah screw it!” Honey slapped her hand down on the buzzer. The clock continued ticking down, but all attention had been foisted onto the earth mare. None of them knew. A sure thing or even a reasonable guess was beyond them. But since she’d be remiss not to even try, the only option remaining was what the humans would call a hail-Mary pass. Just try something and hope for the best. “Cube joined the, uh… Hunters of Harmony?”
It was all or nothing now. Even the twins had lost the last of their cockiness as all heads swiveled with an audible grind of bone and flesh to face the announcer.
“Well let’s see here,” he said, pretending to adjust nonexistent glasses. “With only five second left, I’d have to say… that your answer… is…”
Honey’s fist raised in righteous anger. “Ah swear ta Luna! Ah’ll shove that mic down yer throat ‘n’ break mah hoof off in yer-”
“Incorrect!” finished the announcer urgently, clearly fearing for his physical wellbeing. The timer finally ticked down to zero and a bell rang.
And just like that, the earth mare’s bubbling fury fizzled flat as she collapsed onto the podium. Her buzzer buzzed nonstop as the wood creaked beneath her weight. The remaining contestants, her fellow fighters for the cause of great justice, weren’t much better. Every part of their bodies drooped in solemn defeat. Moonlight was the only one able to stand without support as she patted Honey’s back.
“You did your best,” she whispered and kissed her fellow concubine on the cheek.
“B-but you’ve all done so well to come this far, I’ll tell you the correct answer,” the announcer offered, hoping to ward off the earth mare’s wrath should it reappear. “Cube actually joined the Equilibrium in the hope of mitigating the conflict between the kingdoms of Dusk and Dawn.”
“Well, obviously,” said the Murky brother, his words more nasally and stuck up than should be possible without magic. Honestly, it was a little impressive.
“Well of course,” agreed the Murky sister. “The signs were clearly there from the start. Brother and I simply wanted to give the plebeians a fair shot at-”
*Skree*
*Thud*
“Ow!” Rubbing her temple, the sister looked around until she found an errant mic on the floor. “Who threw this?” She looked to the other contestants, but the mics on their podiums were still present.
“Congratulations to our two winners,” informed the announcer, definitely wielding the exact same mic from before and not a spare. Walking across the stage to the glass case, he pushed a seemingly seamless panel that opened up the front of the case. He reached in to extract the books and further said through clenched teeth, “Now come and get your prizes you lucky – so very very lucky – winners.”
The Murky twins strode across the stage and waved as the audience actually cheered them on. Winners were winners, it seemed. And after a bit of coaxing from Moonlight, the other contestants also joined in. It was just good sportsmanship. The twins accepted their rewards as the cinematography unicorns displayed highlights from the competition.
“Thank you, thank you,” said the brother as he took his copy from the announcer. “Yes, we did win. But really, is that such a surprise?”
“Indeed, brother. After all, the truest indicator of success lies in destiny; that which is determined long before we are born. And as for you and I, we are-”
“Winners! Yes, such fine, humble winners you are,” cut in the announcer, rightly worried that these two might set somepony off; particularly somepony big, green, and mean. “But let’s not forget our other contestants, and especially not our finalists. You all came here for a good cause, or just to have fun. Either way, how about you all get out here for an encore.”
Seeing no harm in it, the finalists marched out to center stage while their fellow contestants came in from the back. They stood in a line across the entirety of the stage and, without prompting, all clasped hands and took a singular collective bow. The twins, alas, elected not to participate. When all was said and done, the twins were held back for a few more pictures, the finalists were given their runner up prizes of Red Ink’s autographs on stickers, and everypony began to disperse.
“Ah still don’t get those two,” Honey said, not caring who heard as she regarded the twins with incredulity. “Ah always thought the stories folks told about Canterlot unicorns was jus’ a bunch o’ hooey, but there they are. How does somethin’ like that even happen?”
“I’ve spent my share of time with that sort,” Moonlight explained. “Most of the time they’re just putting on a show. They’re embracing the stereotype just for funsies,” she added in annoyance. “Mostly they’ll break character the moment things get serious. You wouldn’t believe how many rookies in the guard tried mouthing off to their instructors about demanding servants be present or whatever. They thought it was reaaal funny, which it was, right up until it wasn’t.” She snickered at the memory of those fresh recruits being put in their place. “Though if I’m being honest, the pegasi were actually worse in terms of attitude.”
“In general, maaaybe,” Honey acquiesced. “But Ah still don’t get those two.”
“Alternatively, I guess it might be real. They definitely didn’t go to any of Celestia’s schools, I can tell you that much. That kind of attitude gets you an automatic paddling.” Moonlight smiled at Honey’s chortling. It always felt good to lift her friends’ spirits. “Maybe homeschooling or some private school that focuses more on appearances than actual schooling. Either way, They might have come out here because they were bored and wanted to show off their specialness or whatever.”
Honey snorted. “Whoopty-buckin’-do. They get some fancy-shmancy books they probably won’t even read. Bet their servants read to them.”
“That… is scary how much it makes sense,” admitted Moonlight. “That’s so pathetic I don’t even know if I should laugh.”
“Eh, whatever.” Honey clapped her hand on her smaller friend’s shoulder and pulled her in close. “Ah got a sexier prize than they’ll ever get right here, no matter how much o’ mommy’s money they spend.”
“Aww. That’s really sweet of you to say,” cooed Moonlight as she rested her cheek on her friend’s ribs. “I almost said something about my sexy prize being back at the castle, but nah. Even if they could afford you, it’d be just like them and their books. You’d be too much for them to handle without help.”
“Darn tootin’! Say, we should check in on Fresh ‘n’ Clover. See if that stallion o’ theirs is a keeper.”
Thomas awoke with his face nestled between Moonlight’s chest pillows, his morning wood pressed against her stomach. Reflexively the human snuggled into the comforting warmth of his mare’s breast flesh. As his fingers softly glided over the silky fur of her sides, he felt the mare stir and blearily open her eyes to meet his. They shared a contented smile.
“Ya wanna know something?” he asked.
“Sure,” she answered groggily.
“I think I’m addicted to having mares as sleep aids.”
Moonlight chuckled and sat up, carrying her human with her. They stared at each other for a moment, his arms wrapped loosely around her frame. At the sound of the alarm, they climbed out of bed and went through their usual routines.
“Do you think Silver ever sleeps in her own room anymore?” Thomas asked as he and his mare stretched their stiff, sticky bodies.
“Now that you mention it, I really don’t know. I’m not sure if she’s even been to her room since her induction,” Moonlight replied as she bent down and sniffed Thomas’ hair. “Phew! You’re rank,” she declared as she stepped back.
“Really?” Thomas lifted his arm and sniffed his pit. Asparagus. “Oh yeah. Probably not the best idea to go without a shower.”
“I told you,” Moonlight chided gently as she began pushing him into the bathroom.
“Hey, I can walk you know,” Thomas protested as the mare set a hand on his shoulder, holding him in place as she adjusted the shower. He brushed her hand away.
“Yes, and I can smell,” Moonlight countered irately as she magically lifted him up and set him down on his little stool. She plopped down on her own, much larger stool behind him. Soap, shampoo, and wash cloths all floated into reach as Moonlight put them all to work in getting her stallion’s smell presentable.
“Agh!”
“Sorry!” Moonlight winced as she and the items pulled back. “Did I hurt you?”
Thomas sighed. “You were being a little rough,” he admitted as he rubbed his sore scalp. His eyes were closed as he felt water and shampoo run down his face. “Think I can just wash myself?”
“If you insist,” Moonlight conceded as a wash cloth levitated into her stallion’s hands. “Just make sure you get everywhere.”
“I know,” Thomas agreed tiredly. “I know.”
The two just sat and washed quietly for a while. Thomas’ eyes were still closed, but he still knew his own body well enough to know the important places to wash. After finishing his face and pits, he trailed down his stomach to his groin, finding that he was hard. He paused, realizing that Moonlight had forgotten to relieve him. The human opened his mouth to say as such, but found he couldn’t bring himself to give voice to the words. He wondered if it was because he was mad at her for pushing him around earlier, unsure if he preferred that to be the cause or if this was just his ‘preference for quiet’, as Luna put it. Though he couldn’t speak, he hoped Moonlight would remember on her own.
“Sorry,” Moonlight eventually admitted, breaking the silence. “I didn’t mean to be so rough with you.”
“I’m sorry, too,” Thomas agreed, still hoping she’d notice. Tasting his first release was something Moonlight, and mares in general, enjoyed and he didn’t want her to miss out on. It wasn’t as though he couldn’t bear to go without release; at least he hoped that was the case. He didn’t want to become a sex addict who only cared about the women in his life because of their physical appeal. However, he also didn’t want Moonlight to think he was acting selfishly, that he was whining that she didn’t do her job like some entitled brat. His thoughts and emotions were confused, uncertain of how to best react, so he kept silent, hoping she would remember on her own and free him of such responsibility. “I shouldn’t whine so much.”
“No. I was at fault,” Moonlight insisted. “I was impatient and should have known better than to be so rough with… Not that I’m saying you’re fragile!” she added urgently.
Thomas sighed. “I’m not, huh?”
Moonlight swallowed, realizing she’d said the wrong thing.
“I know I’m not as sturdy as a pony, but could you at least try not acting like you have to walk on eggshells around me?”
Moonlight leaned forward until her chin was atop his head and her breasts were pressed to his back. The way his skin bristled told her she’d achieved the desired effect of putting him, and herself, at ease. “Better?”
“Yeah,” Thomas conceded with a relaxed sigh. “Also, maybe don’t use magic on me so much? I kinda like walking on my own.”
Moonlight smiled as she wrapped her arms around the human’s torso. “Sure, but only if you agree the importance of proper hygiene to concubines. Deal?”
With his eyes still closed, Thomas grinned and wrapped his arms around Moonlights, sharing her hug. “Deal.”
The pair quickly wrapped up their shower, drying off and moving on to dental hygiene. Having long gone flaccid, Thomas remained quiet as he brushed. He told himself it just wasn’t meant to be, but the thought continued to aggravatingly assert itself. They then dressed, with Thomas in his uniform and Moonlight in her new set of light armor.
“That set’s new, right?” Thomas asked as he watched her slip her grieves on.
“Yup,” Moonlight huffed. “Light armor’s less bulky and easier to maintain, so I traded out. Let some other guard who needs it have my old set.”
“What kinds of armor are there?” Thomas asked, noting how mundane Moonlight’s actions were. Back when they’d become official, the mare wouldn’t have missed such an opportunity to shake her rump for his pleasure, but it seemed that she’d forgotten that, too. Guess that means the honeymoon stage is over. This thought also left the human conflicted, wondering if he should say something, but decided complaining about the lack of a show would be just as entitled as whining about the lack of a blowjob, so he kept silent. Besides, wasn’t this sort complacency supposed to be good? Was it a sign of their contentment with one another, or a warning that things were getting stale?
Even as he listened to Moonlight, Thomas wished he had someone with whom to talk about this stuff who wasn’t intimately close with Moonlight.
“I can lend you the manual for all the specialty types, but really there are just three basic models,” Moonlight explained as she magically set the breast plate into place. “Light, medium, and heavy, depending on what’s needed. Guards at the front gate are required to wear heavy armor since they’re meant to be like living shields. Those stationed just inside are a mix of light and medium to be more versatile in dealing with whatever threats make it in.”
“So the heavy armor guys are like the tank?” Thomas asked to Moonlight’s confusion. “Gamer terms. The strong tank holds the front and acts as a damage sponge. While the bad guys focus on them, you have support units using things like ranged weapons and magic to help keep the tanks from being overwhelmed.”
“I’m certain I’ve heard my brother talk about than in his O&O games.”
“Ogres and Oubliettes?”
“That’s the one,” Moonlight affirmed as the straps and belts were locked in place. “Anyway, beside the specialty armors, the three main sets are also divided up for the three tribes.”
“Oh,” Thomas said with a nod as his eyes trailed up and down Moonlight’s armored body. The armor wasn’t as formfitting in most areas, making the mare look cool rather than sexy. “I guess that makes sense, given how different body types are.”
“Exactly,” Moonlight said with a grin. “Different tribes have very different builds and needs. What qualifies as heavy for a pegasus wouldn’t even count as light for an earth pony.”
“What about bat ponies?”
“Their body types are pretty much identical to pegasi,” Moonlight explained. “You know, I almost never meet somepony not in the military who understands these kinds of things,” she said with a beaming grin, excited by the prospect of this new discussion topic. It warmed her heart to know that she didn’t fully know her stallion, that there were still things to be discovered that they could share.
Thomas, meanwhile, felt a similar relief from the casual conversation.
Additionally, Moonlight hoped his intrigue would distract him from how she’d forgotten to give him his morning relief. She cursed herself for forgetting one of her favorite routines, something she was normally so careful to remember. Besides the taste of his seed, just the idea of making her stallion happy would fill her with satisfaction. He didn’t say anything, so she figured he either hadn’t noticed or it hadn’t bothered him. In any case, she had a sneaking suspicion that this was going to bug her all night.
However, that train of thought was stopped by a knock at the door. Not expecting company so early, Moonlight nodded for Thomas to get behind her, just to be on the safe side. She opened the door and beheld a bat mare that neither of them recognized. She had jet black fur and a stark white tail with a silver streak running through it. Her armor was that of the night guard, of the light variety, which hid her mane beneath her helmet.
“Private First Class Moonlight Shield.” The mare gave a salute that Moonlight promptly returned. “Corporal Jet Black, reporting for duty.”
“Corporal?” Moonlight asked, still saluting. “Duty?”
“At ease,” Jet said and both mares relaxed. “They just posted the duty roster yesterday, so you probably haven’t seen it,” she explained authoritatively.
Jet glanced over to where Thomas had been standing. They locked eyes, studying one another for a moment. Thomas knew enough about military rankings to know that this mare was Moonlight’s superior. She had gruff, angled features, almost like that of a stallion. Her tone was equally gruff and a bit crackly, as if she’d spent a decent portion of her life yelling at others. Her yellow slit eyes were hard as stone and Thomas very nearly flinched away before she resumed looking at Moonlight. He could only guess what she thought of him, but he doubted it was positive.
“Starting next week, you and I will be on a rotating roster for guarding Senior Concubine Thomas.”
Thomas and Moonlight blinked in surprise.
“Ma’am?” Moonlight asked.
“Princess Luna’s guard is growing. That means more ponies to shore up necessary duties,” Jet explained pragmatically. “By order of Lieutenant Smokey Iron, you and I will have rotating shifts guarding Senior Concubine Thomas.”
Moonlight’s brow scrunched in puzzlement as she took in this new information. “I wasn’t aware of such a change being made,” Moonlight stated skeptically. “You’d think I would have been told beforehand. Has my performance been lacking in any way?”
“Not that I’m aware, Private,” Jet stated neutrally. “I’d recommend talking to the Lt. if you’ve got concerns.”
Moonlight’s ear flicked. It was silly, but she couldn’t help but feel insulted by the implication of Jet’s words, as though she didn’t already know the procedure. Even Thomas seemed to notice there was something off about the bat mare’s tone, like she was talking down to the unicorn.
“I’ll do just that. Thank you for informing me, Corporal.”
“Private,” Jet nodded, but remained in the doorway.
“Was there anything else?” Moonlight asked.
“While my duties don’t officially begin for some time, I was instructed to shadow you and Sir Thomas. This position is unique and requires skills they don’t teach in standard guard training.” She blinked surreptitiously. “At least that’s what the Lt. said.”
Moonlight couldn’t help but softly chuckle at the bat mare’s description. Having what she did described as unique felt oddly flattering. It also presented her with an opportunity to show off her expertise in the matter. “Why do you think that is, Corporal?” she asked as evenly as she could.
Jet’s expression remained neutral. “While it is unconventional for concubines of any station to receive personal guards, Sir Thomas is the only one of his kind in all Equestria.”
Moonlight nodded. “That’s certainly one way of putting it. I was told something similar when they offered me the position.” Moonlight ran her vision along Jet’s frame once more and settled back on her stone face, able to discern little from her expression. “Very well. I suppose we might as well settle this now.” And she nodded at Thomas to follow her.
As they walked down the halls towards the barracks, Thomas and Moonlight side by side, Jet remained one step to Thomas’ left and two steps back. “Why aren’t you walking in formation?” she eventually asked.
“Besides being off duty tonight,” Moonlight began, “that’s only necessary for formal occasions.”
“You so readily disregard regulations?” Jet asked judgmentally. “I expected more from Luna’s personal guard.”
“Pretty sure you said something about unique skills they don’t teach in standard training?” Thomas spoke up, trying to sound authoritative as he defended his mare.
Moonlight smiled appreciatively.
“Sir.” Jet nodded in affirmation, straightening up as she maintained her position.
“Moonlight follows regulations, but she’s also got permission to be a bit more flexible,” he informed. “Besides, I thought you were supposed to be watching to figure out how we do things.”
“Sir. As you say. Sir,” Jet replied, seemingly at attention despite continuing to walk.
Thomas theorized that Jet was probably a thoroughbred guard, trained since early foalhood to carry on a long running family tradition; not unlike Silver’s lineage. In contrast, while Moonlight’s mother was a soldier, her father was not. They had mated for reasons other than breeding the next great soldier. Of course, Thomas conceded that this was probably just his imagination running away with him, but argued with himself that this explanation was both plausible and went a long way towards illuminating why Jet was the way she was. Equally likely, she was probably just a soldier fresh out of training and a bit standoffish about her new job.
Moonlight and her human met eyes several times on their walk, each clearly wanting to say something, to chatter as they normally would. However, their eyes would always turn back to the mare following them, and the awkward silence would persist.
Finally they arrived at the Lieutenant’s office, and they were quickly shown in by the secretary. Smokey Iron was rather burly as far as pegasi went, with a body that demonstrated the benefits of a lifetime of fitness. His fur was a mint green and his short mane was three shades of red. He was currently hunched over his desk, partially hidden by a small mountain of paperwork as he read something.
“Take that you fiends,” he muttered to himself, clearly unaware or unconcerned that he had guests. “I see you there. Trying to skimp out on your duties, eh?” he chided aggressively and began scribbling with a mad fervor. “Well, we’ll just see how you like bathroom duty for the next two months.”
The tone of his narration led Thomas to believe the Lieutenant was picturing himself fighting some kind of real enemy in an effort to alleviate the monotony that must have been his standard work. While it had been a while since the human had had to deal with such work, he could still empathize with the stallion’s plight.
Eventually Jet cleared her throat and Iron looked up from his battlefield.
“Ah. Private Moonlight. And… Corporal Jet?” He stood and both mares saluted, which he returned. “At ease.” And he stepped around his desk, showing that he was dressed in full armor. “Gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation for at least another week, though I guess it saves me the trouble of calling you here myself.”
“Sir?” Moonlight asked.
Iron nodded with an understanding smile. “This is about the change in duty roster, yes? The Corporal wasn’t actually supposed to start her shadowing until next week.” He narrowed accusing eyes on the bat mare.
“I had no other duties, Sir,” Jet said flatly. “So I took the liberty of getting firsthand knowledge of my new assignment.”
Moonlight frowned. Looks like I’m not the only one who takes liberties.
Iron sighed. “Fair enough, I guess.”
“Sir, what’s this all about?” Moonlight asked. “Has my performance been lacking in any way?”
Iron shook his head. “Not significantly. No. I would’ve called you in for a private talk if it were.” He smiled at the soft exhale Moonlight gave. “However, as I imagine the Corporal might have mentioned, the night guard is swelling and we’re finally able to fill slots that’ve been vacant for far too long. Captain Armor just put together a plan to have our division operating to the same standard as the day guard this time next month.”
“Sir,” Moonlight acknowledged.
Thomas nodded his understanding as well.
“That said,” Iron continued with a hint of remorse, “I’m afraid Thomas’ particular situation poses an interesting quandary that must be addressed.”
“I’m… sorry?” Thomas asked.
“Sorry,” Iron said, holding up his hand as he shook his head. “I’m not much for this cloak-and-dagger stuff. Corporal Jet. Would you care to explain your role here?” At her hesitation, he added, “It’s not like they don’t already know.”
Jet nodded and turned to face the others. “I am Corporal Jet Black of the CEI. I have been assigned to guard Sir Thomas because of his status as an oracle.”
“You what!?” Moonlight hissed. Her panicked eyes darted from side to side, fearful of who else might be listening in the closed room.
“Hold on a second,” Thomas added. “I thought only the Princesses knew.”
“Correction,” Jet stated, completely unfazed. “The Princesses, their inner circle,” she glanced at Moonlight, “and the highest echelons of military intelligence are all familiar with the exact content of your visions, Sir Thomas,” she said to him. “Such information is considered on a need-to-know basis and thus unnecessary for regular officers,” she gestured between herself and Iron. “We have been informed only that your visions exist, not their contents, and will act accordingly. As an oracle, you’ve been deemed an asset of national security, as per military protocol.”
Moonlight furrowed her brow in thought as she looked to Jet. “I see. So they’re informing you from the start.”
Thomas flinched, recalling how he’d initially kept the secret from Moonlight. Granted, he’d been told to do so, but suddenly it seemed as though it was something to feel guilty about.
“Of course,” Jet said as though it should have been obvious. “When guards are assigned to protect a vault, they need not know what it holds, only that it exists. You were not informed because you were not trained for this assignment.”
“Excuse me?” Moonlight asked, assuming a more aggressive posture.
“The duty of protecting oracles has always been the domain of Central Equestrian Intelligence, not the standard military. However, because of centuries old protocol encouraging cooperation between the military and harem, we encountered a slight obstacle.”
Thomas’ eyes widened, recalling how it was Celestia who had asked that Moonlight be assigned as his personal guard.
“That’s a bit oversimplifying things, don’t you think?” Iron asked tiredly as all eyes turned towards him. “Yeah. The Princess’ request was a little bit of a hiccup, but it’s not like CEI didn’t manage.”
“Correct,” Jet agreed. “Standard protocol for dealing with oracles is to have one agent in the forefront and another guarding from the shadows.”
“From the…” Thomas trailed off. “So you’ve had someone watching me from the beginning?”
Jet nodded.
“That I didn’t know about?” Moonlight added angrily.
Jet nodded again. “Despite royal interference, it was deemed acceptable that, in this case, the guard operating in the open need not be informed of CEI operations to serve as a deterrent to lesser threats while we handled the greater dangers. You, Private Moonlight, were granted this role by royal decree. At the same time, agents such as myself have been watching from the shadows.”
Thomas wasn’t bothered by the idea of unknown agents watching from the shadows. Moonlight had told him she got extra help when going out, which he had already interpreted as spies in the shadows. Besides, his overactive imagination had always figured his unusual arrival would attract some manner of clandestine attention. However, he did feel anger rise within him at the way this bitch was talking down to his mare. His hand balled into a fist without him realizing, though Jet noticed well enough. Iron did too.
“That’s enough of that!” Iron barked at Jet, though she was the only one not to flinch at his booming voice. “I don’t care for you implying that the military just rolls over for the whims of the crown. We might answer to the Princesses, but there are procedures in place to prevent serious abuses. We needed a guard for the little guy and, given your exceptional marks,” he indicated Moonlight, “Princess Celestia asked us to assign her. We accommodated because she was already in our top ten for the job and, frankly, it was more or less a coin toss between her and the others. Besides, CEI agreed.”
“They did,” Jet concurred. “And you are correct.” She turned to bodily face the other mare. “Private Moonlight Shield. I look forward to working with you in the future,” she said in a way that didn’t even convince herself, let alone anyone else.
“Ma’am,” Moonlight acknowledged with the faintest and least friendly of nods she could manage.
Finally she turned back to Thomas and gave him an approving grin. “Well played.”
**********
“So you’re just going to wait out here?” Thomas asked as the trio arrived outside of Luna’s chambers.
“Sir,” Jet acknowledged as she took her place beside the two remaining door guards. The others had already gone off to follow Luna.
Thomas and Moonlight shared questioning looks. They knew the mare was just following protocol, as Moonlight had done when she had first been given this assignment. The question was whether or not they should try to break this new mare of her habits and invite her to join them. Moonlight answered the unasked question with a gentle shake of her head and the two entered, leaving Jet behind.
Thomas silently concurred, also not feeling up to forgiving the mare for her earlier rudeness.
“Hey guys!” Honey greeted warmly as Surprised waved eagerly from the breakfast table. “Why the long faces?”
“It seems Thomas is going to have a new guard to help ‘take up the slack,’” Moonlight explained as though the last phrase left a bad taste in her mouth.
“Uh oh,” Silver stated.
Moonlight and Thomas sat down to join the others for their morning meal of pancakes, all the while explaining everything they knew.
“Goodness,” Silver said thoughtfully. “This mare sounds like quite the brute.”
“How ya takin’ this, sugar?” Honey asked as she set an affectionate hand over Moonlight’s arm.
“The Lt. says I shouldn’t take this as an insult to my performance,” Moonlight replied evenly. “I know it’s nothing personal, though. She’s new and just needs to learn how we do things around here.”
“Oh!” Surprise chirped. “Maybe we just need to throw her a welcome dinner or something?”
“Not a party?” Thomas asked.
“Either or,” Surprise allowed as she wobbled her hand from side to side. “I’m flexible,” she baited.
“We know,” Moonlight agreed with a laugh. “Although there’s something that still bothers me.”
“Which is?” Silver asked.
“Well, I had only been assigned to you as a prelude to joining the harem.” She waved her hand around the room. “I hope the same doesn’t go for Jet.”
“We’ll ask Luna when she calls, but I don’t think that’ll be the case,” Thomas replied certainly.
“What makes you so sure?” Silver asked.
“Because we’d have been told,” Thomas said firmly. “I know there were a lot of secrets in the beginning, but we’ve talked with Luna. She said she’d be honest and up front with us from now on, and I trust her to do just that.”
“I hope that’s the case,” Moonlight agreed. “My dame ran some jobs for the CEI before. Said they were the biggest loads of horse dung she was ever forbidden from giving a deserved stomp.”
There were nods all around the table, Thomas noted, as the mares all seemed to share this distrust to some degree.
“But it makes sense,” Surprise pointed out. “If Thomas is an oracle, it kinda is their job to make sure he can do his job of seeing the futuuuure,” she said with a deliberately wavy voice in a bid to sound mystical and ominous.
“Sounds ta me like ya’ll are stuck with this mare, whether ya like it or not,” Honey concluded stoically. “In that case, ya’d be better off tryin’ ta make nice ‘stead ‘f talkin’ behind pony’s backs.”
Thomas and Moonlight met each other’s eyes.
“Today is your day off,” Thomas reminded.
“We could do something and invite her along,” Moonlight suggested.
“A fine idea,” Silver congratulated, focusing on Moonlight. “Good on you for being the bigger mare.”
“She’s already the bigger mare, though,” Thomas pointed out.
“Don’t be a smart mouth,” Silver chided gently as she took a sip of her tea, looking quite dignified.
Jet Black had been standing at attention outside the doors to Luna’s chambers for some time. Beside her were two other guards, a unicorn mare and earth stallion, both dressed in night guard attire.
“So,” the earth stallion began. “You Thomas’ new guard, aye?”
Jet gave no overt reaction. “Word travels fast, I see.”
“I guess that means we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other,” the stallion continued.
“At least until she’s invited in with the rest,” the unicorn added, sounding somewhat resentful.
Jet allowed herself a convincing enough smile. “Are you implying fraternization with my charge?”
“Don’t act like you haven’t been thinking about it,” the stallion asserted. “I hear half the cadets in the academy are trying for assignments to concubines.” He shook his head with a smirk. “Dumbasses think they’ll actually get a shot with the Princesses that way.”
“Don’t act like we weren’t hoping for the same,” the unicorn countered. “We’ve all read those same cheesy love stories about guards falling for the nobles they’re supposed to watch. Even if the odds are a million to one, we all pretty much have some hope of the same happening for us.”
“Speak for yourself, Shiver,” the stallion dismissed. “I, for one, am here to do a job to serve my country,” he boasted.
A job that entails silence and discretion, you irreverent dolt, Jet mentally chided while maintaining her smile. “I don’t really know. I mean, if it happens it happens, but I’m not going to force anything.”
“See,” Shiver pointed. “She does hope.”
“But I have my doubts as well,” Jet added. “For one thing, I’m a little worried that I might have come off as a little harsh with,” she paused to double-check her word selection, “Thomas and Moonlight. I’m not too sure they like me too much.” As if that were relevant. “I mean, I get that my charge needs to trust me and all, but…”
“Don’t sweat it,” Shiver assured. “From what I’ve gathered, Thomas is a pretty easy going guy. I’m sure if you make the effort, you’ll get along just fine.”
So I keep hearing, Jet thought with a nod, only to look questioningly at the door. “But, does that mean I’ll have to break protocol and go with him everywhere?”
The stallion shrugged. “Who can say? Maybe you’ll actually do your job and keep it in your pants.”
“In my what?” Jet asked, feigning ignorance.
“Human phrase,” the stallion answered. “Heard it from a friend. Humans wear clothes all the time, so I think the ‘it’ refers to genitals. The way my friend said it, I’m pretty sure it means something about not having sex.”
They’re using his idioms. Jet restrained herself from balling her hand in a fist. That kind of body language would send the wrong message. Instead, she kept her posture as approachable as possible, inviting these irresponsible dullards to tell her everything they knew.
Sometime later, the doors opened and the guards snapped back to attention. Thomas was the first to exit, followed shortly by Moonlight. Jet read the orange mare’s body language as apprehensive. Possibly she was feeling self-conscious about walking out of formation in front of the mare who’d called her out on it. Moonlight glanced briefly Jet’s way, only to quickly avert her gaze when their eyes met. Jet interpreted this to mean that she was the cause of whatever was upsetting Moonlight. Jet then began to dread. Although she was much better at controlling her body language, she was far from delighted at what her job demanded she do next.
“Uh, hey,” Thomas greeted weakly as he stood before his new guard. The other guards tried not to look too conspicuous as they stole glances from their posts.
“Sir,” Jet said firmly as she further straightened her posture, if that were even possible. “What can I do for you, Sir?” She tried to soften her voice just a little, but it proved unexpectedly challenging.
“Alright. Rule one,” Thomas stated. “No more ‘Sir’. I don’t care for it. If there are strangers around we need to give a show to, fine. But if it’s just us,” he gestured between himself and Moonlight, “or any of our friends, you really don’t need to be so formal.”
Jet did not answer right away, looking as though her brain didn’t fully grasp what it was being told.
“Just call me Thomas.”
“Very well, Thomas,” Jet replied uncertainly.
“Well…” Thomas said when it became clear that Jet had nothing more to add.
“We were thinking about going out later this evening,” Moonlight interjected. “Since you’re coming along anyway, did you have any suggestions?”
“Somewhere public, but no crowds,” Jet said flatly. “We want somewhere open enough that the prospect of too many witnesses would be a deterrent, but not so crowded that somepony could slip unseen into the mob. Moonlight. You’ll stay with Thomas while I go in to examine the layout and check for traps. Although, it would probably be better if we sent an advanced team to-”
“Hey!” Thomas snapped, cutting her off. He shared a grimace with Moonlight. “I meant, like, a show or shopping or something.”
“Oh,” Jet replied abashed.
“Well?” Thomas asked, uncertain if Jet had any plans to answer.
“I am security. It is not my place to dictate your actions.”
Oh crap, Thomas and Moonlight thought together, fearing how much work this one was going to need breaking in.
Jet, however, smiled on the inside. She’d successfully lessened the hostility directed at her. Now she just needed to keep playing the part.
**********
“And sixteen,” Moonlight announced as Thomas worked the leg machine, pushing his knees together before letting the mechanisms pull them apart. “And seventeen. Keep going.”
“More weight?” Thomas asked with heavy breath.
Moonlight nodded. “You’ve been doing well, so I added an extra ten pounds. And that makes twenty.”
“A bit of warning next time,” Thomas gasped. They’d done three machines already and the human was starting to feel the burn.
“Agreed,” Jet announced from her spot standing directly in front of the human, making him feel a little uncomfortable each time he parted his legs before her intense glare. The days of accidental boners in nude company were long behind him, but the idea of one returning now would have been the worst possible thing. “Clear communication is necessary for spotting. Thomas could easily hurt himself if he is not properly prepared.”
Thomas resisted the urge to make a ‘told-ya-so’ expression as he made another rep. However, the look on Moonlight’s face suggested that such a remark would not have been welcomed.
“Sorry,” the unicorn sighed. “I guess I’m feeling a little off tonight.”
“You should engage in more memory exercises,” Jet stated more than suggested. “I’d recommend playing chess in your spare time, perhaps with a little reading or number puzzles.”
“You mean like a Sudoku?” Thomas asked.
“I’m afraid I have never heard of that,” Jet stated.
“Wait!” Moonlight held up her hand, silencing the conversation. “Is this some human game Equestria doesn’t have?”
Thomas smiled flatly as he realized his mistake. “Probably?”
Moonlight sighed. “Wait ‘til we get somewhere private and we’ll write it down.” At Thomas’ nod of agreement, the unicorn glanced over at the bat mare to gauge her reaction. It seemed Jet had properly read the situation and would not inquire further, at least in public.
The remainder of gym time was spent with relatively little conversation. Moonlight and Jet had done nothing, focusing all of their attention in either watching their charge or quietly bickering on the best ways to do so, meaning Thomas was the only one who needed a shower afterwards.
“Could you hold this?” From behind the shower stall, Thomas held out his loincloth, which Moonlight promptly swiped before Jet could. “Thanks.”
“Is there a problem, Private?” Jet asked after a moment’s silence. The two mares stood side by side, almost touching shoulders, and staring at the stall door as though it had kicked a puppy. A chattering group of ponies instantly quieted upon seeing the intense pair and decided they’d shower elsewhere.
“Problem?” Moonlight asked nonchalantly. “What problem? I don’t have a problem.”
“If you say so,” Jet said in acceptance. The silence resumed and Jet cursed her error.
Damn, Thomas thought as he faced up into the torrent of warm water, which he figured was much quieter than the mares thought it was. The mares weren’t getting along, which he hated, but he had no idea how he could resolve things or even if he should get involved. Were guys allowed into a spat between two mares? Well, maybe in a herd, he recalled from his lessons, but what about if they’re just coworkers? Then there’s the fact that they’re both soldiers. Was that even a factor? After much internal debate, the human decided that his inability to answer even that much told him all he needed to know. Just deal, he thought to himself in defeat.
Cooking with Luna was the next stop of the day, a reprieve from the night’s tension that Thomas simply couldn’t wait to enjoy.
“Evening, dearest,” Luna greeted warmly as she returned the human’s hug. “I heard that your new guard got a little antsy and started her duties early.” She spoke as though she hadn’t noticed the mare standing in the doorway, not even sparing her a glance.
A part of Thomas wanted to spill everything, to say things weren’t working out and that he didn’t like this mare, that if they needed a second guard they should get a replacement. When he didn’t, he told himself that it was a sign of growth, that he was just being considerate to everyone’s feelings by not dropping the mare after less than a day of service. However, he knew deep down that it was something else that made him put on a brave face for Luna. “Eh. Could be worse.”
Luna’s ear flicked, though she maintained her gentle smile as she looked to the guard mares. “Moonlight. Your new armor looks lovely.”
“Thanks,” Moonlight said in relief from the compliment as the mares shared a nuzzle.
Luna then stood before Jet, her height intimidatingly imposing despite her calm smile.
“Princess,” Jet greeted with a respectful bow. “It is an honor to serve you.”
Thomas and Moonlight blinked in surprise at Jet’s composure, both expecting her to start fan-girling over Luna like every other bat pony they’d met. She didn’t.
Luna nodded right back, seemingly unfazed. “And it is a pleasure to be served by such fine and dedicated ponies, such as yourself.” She then turned back to Thomas. “Shall we begin?”
“We shall,” Thomas agreed, only to hesitate after looking back at his other mare. “Wanna join us?”
Moonlight nodded excitedly and moved to join them in the kitchen, leaving Jet alone beside the door. She watched and listened in quiet vigilance. The cooks did their work at less than peak efficiency, frequently distracted by Princess Luna and her concubines, behavior that the head chef had to repeatedly correct. It was disgustingly undisciplined.
Things got better after a few minutes when the Princess and her concubines started getting into the swing of things. They were baking a chocolate cake. Princess Luna did most of the work while Sir Thomas and Private Moonlight mostly read from the directions while providing minimum direct assistance. All the while the three chatted idly with one another. Occasionally they glanced back in Jet’s direction and looked away uncomfortably when they were noticed. As Jet watched, she came to realize that the cooks were not distracted by the Princess’ mere presence, as civilians tended to be. Rather, they seemed wary of her, flinching each time she made a sudden movement or backing away whenever she reached for some new ingredient or tool.
At first Jet was angry, swallowing the myriad of virulent curses she’d have otherwise hurled at these ignorant dolts. Just because she wasn’t as overt in her reverence for Luna, that didn’t mean she wasn’t ready to lay the smack down on any who would dare hold a prejudice against her for her fall. However, as time went on, Jet remembered another detail from her briefing before her assignment. In particular, she recalled the odd happenings that seemed to follow the Princess of the Night whenever she entered the kitchen. Exploding dishes, bringing food to life, and the occasional projectile fork were just some of the incidents that had been reported. Sir Thomas and Private Moonlight seemed just as mindful of such incidents as they would frequently grab the Princess’ hands and guide her into different actions. The bat mare eventually conceded that the behavior of the cooks was not due to prejudice, but lived experience with improbable disasters that followed the Princess around. By far this was the more tolerable scenario.
While Jet also conceded that the concubines were behaving as dutiful servants in gently correcting their master’s faux pas, she still found their casual speech with the diarch of the land to be quite distasteful. She kept that to herself, of course. They were operating outside of her jurisdiction, following their own set of protocols, if Private Moonlight’s words were anything to go by. Jet knew she could not, should not pass judgement on their behavior. Besides, it comforted her to know that, since they answered directly to the Princess, it would be the Princess who would personally reprimand them the moment they overstepped their bounds.
Eventually the lesson came to an interlude with the cake placed in the oven. Princess Luna would be called back from her other nightly duties once the timer had run out, whereupon she would begin applying the icing. The concubines said their goodbyes to the Princess and went their separate ways, with Jet following close behind.
The next stop was the library. Entering quietly, Jet continued to stick close to Thomas as he thumbed through the shelves. Frequently he would glance back at her, looking very uncomfortable as Moonlight made a gesture of warning. Jet acknowledged this warning, placating the unicorn’s protective instincts.
“So, what do you like to read?” Thomas asked.
“History,” Jet answered plainly, but judged that more was expected. “I appreciate accounts of ancient and decisive battles that helped to shape pony history.”
“Not much of a genre,” Moonlight stated dryly as she too searched the shelves for some unstated target. “Most of Equestria’s history was shaped through diplomacy.”
“True,” Jet agreed impassively. “But that does not diminish the importance of the battles that were fought. Besides, pre-Equestrian history was much more tumultuous.”
“What kinds of battles were those?” Thomas asked.
Jet and Moonlight glared silently at one another until the latter acquiesced.
“Following the defeat of Discord, the Princesses sought to permanently unify the numerous city states of Equestria into a single nation,” Jet narrated. “Most agreed without incident. However, those nations along the outskirts of the land, griffons, minotaurs, and so on, who had not suffered the brunt of Discord’s tyranny, saw the weakened state of the inner cities as an opportunity to expand their influence. The ponies of old fought valiantly to hold off the invasions long enough for the Princesses and their forces to arrive and bolster their positions. These were the Unification Wars.”
Thomas nodded. “Sounds neat,” he offered, only to immediately regret the smallness of his words.
“Yes it does,” Jet agreed. She gave no comment about his inappropriate – bordering on disrespectful – word choice for one of the most harrowing times in her beloved nation’s history.
“I thought we were looking for some good romance books,” Moonlight reminded.
“We are,” Thomas affirmed as he hurriedly went back to searching. He and Moonlight had come to a bit of an impasse in writing their book and Thomas had suggested that they look up other popular romance stories for inspiration. “Still, never hurts to learn a little history.”
“I would have to respectfully disagree,” Jet said. “More than a few tomes have been destroyed or locked away over the years because their contents were deemed too dangerous for the unprepared to learn.”
“Destroying books means something else for humans,” Thomas offered. “We don’t have dangerous magic, but there’ve been quite a few groups who’ve tried destroying dangerous ideas, or at least ideas they said were dangerous.”
“What sort of ideas?” Moonlight asked.
“Equal treatment under the law regardless of status, how taxation without representation shouldn’t be tolerated, or just anything written by a demographic those in power have chosen to hate,” Thomas listed. “For us, book burning is basically synonymous with totalitarianism.”
Jet wished to inquire on how human civilization could exist without magic, but didn’t. Her superiors had briefed her on the matter, but it had been woefully inadequate in her eyes. They said that humans made up for their lack of magic with a vaguely described ingenuity, but had gone into no further detail. Ultimately it had boiled down to ‘We know that it is, but we don’t trust you enough inquire further on your own without blowing your cover.’ At least that had been what she’d read between the lines. A part of her hoped Moonlight might comment on the matter, on which groups were so despised and what human civilization was like before such tax reforms. If somepony else started the conversation, then she’d be free to press the issue while maintaining the plausible deniability of honest curiosity. That much, at least, would have been true.
Moonlight thought carefully before idly commenting on Thomas’ words, remembering who was in earshot. “Sounds like humans have had a pretty tumultuous history, too.”
Thomas gave a scoffing laugh. “You don’t know the half of it.”
Jet studied Thomas’ face carefully. He looked like he was about to say more, but didn’t. Had she misread his alien features? Possibly. Equally likely was that this was a moment of him saying something by saying nothing. The things he doesn’t say, she remembered.
It seemed to Jet as though Thomas hadn’t been briefed on the Unification Wars. In his ignorance, was he judging Equestrian history to be less dangerous than human history? Or, was he using everything he’d seen and heard of Equestria up to this point to make an educated guess? Neither option sat well with Jet.
“I think I’d like to know more about the Unification Wars,” Thomas eventually said. “History was always my favorite subject because it was like we were reading from a story. Maybe that’d give us some ideas for some backstory?”
Moonlight smiled. “I think I’d like that.” She navigated through the shelves to the history section. “My dame used to tell me some of those battles as bed time stories.”
“Really? So did mine,” Jet replied. Watered down foalish nonsense, but it still served its purpose. “I think my favorite was the Sunset of Baltimare.”
“Oh Luna, yes,” Moonlight gushed. “Commander Windsweep and the clerk Scrounge.”
“Don’t forget about the griffons. Many of their greatest warriors fought and died on those shores.”
Thomas’ gaze darted between the two mares. He was happy to see them finally finding common ground. He also made thoughtful humming sounds, trying to remind the mares that there was an ignorant human in their midst.
“Sorry,” Moonlight apologized, rubbing the back of her neck guiltily.
“Don’t worry,” Thomas assured. “Someday I might even forgive you.” His words startled a laugh out of Moonlight. “You can start by telling me about the ‘Sunset of Baltimare,’” he said, giving the name the extra dramatic flourish it probably deserved. “Sounds big.”
“Bigger than anypony expected it to be, anyway,” Moonlight agreed. She shared a quick look with Jet before moving closer to Thomas. She told the story of how Baltimare was a thriving fishing village that quickly grew into one of the biggest ports on the coast. When the wars began to escalate, a garrison had been established at the docks. The mare in charge was Commander Windsweep, a red pegasus who had often been disregarded as being lazy for how much she liked to fish. Although most company clerks rarely make it into the history books, the earth stallion Scrounge had bucked expectations.
At the time, most of the Equestrian navy was either docked at Manehatten or fighting further north. Most of the army was engaged in the Badlands further south. As a result, Baltimare was only equipped with a skeletal defense force, and prayers that none of Equestria’s enemies would be able to muster a force capable of taking the city.
The griffons, emboldened by recent victories, decided to send a small task force while the rest of their numbers were held up elsewhere. Rather than take the city, the mission was to do a little pillaging, dividing the already miniscule forces of the garrison before setting the city ablaze. It was a shock and awe tactic to demoralize, rather than begin a conquest with forces the Griffon Kingdom lacked at the time. Leading the charge was Captain Tiger Claw and her son, Tiger Fang.
Naturally, they’d gone under cover of darkness, where griffon eyes were superior to those of ponies. Moonlight went into meticulous detail describing the steps the griffons took to keep themselves hidden, really adding to the suspense of the story. Jet cut in only occasionally to describe a more controversial element of the story, telling of how the griffons had only breeched so deeply into pony territory thanks to Equestrian traitors. Moonlight argued that, at least in this case, those accusations had never been verified, which was why they rarely warranted mention in the more common histories. Eventually the argument was settled with Thomas’ comment that the treason added both drama and realism to the events, keeping the good guys from looking too perfect.
“And how is that relevant?” Jet asked.
“We’re looking for story inspiration, remember. I don’t know what was true or not, but making a backstory more dramatic makes things interesting.”
Jet nodded her acceptance, only slightly irked that her home land’s history was being exploited like this. Others had done far worse.
Moonlight resumed by recounting how Windsweep famously noticed when a griffon briefly broke from the cover of the clouds because she happened to be staring in that direction at the time. Not a minute later, Scrounge had rushed in with reports of odd happenings, such as unexplained sightings or missing items. None of the other officers took the diamond dog seriously, because he was a diamond dog, so he went straight to the Commander. Windsweep listened intently, supposedly never moving from her fishing spot.
“Cooking oil, barrels of alcohol, and other assorted flammables,” Moonlight listed in a gravelly imitation of the Commander’s voice. “And what about the sightings?”
Moonlight shifted to a more nasally voice. “Ponies see movement. No pony should be out but guards, but guards see creatures in dark. Always run when seen and disappear.”
Windsweep asked for a map of the city and demanded to know where each sighting had taken place. Scrounge obliged and they both reached the conclusion that most of the sightings had taken place near obvious targets of attack such as the granary, hospital, and other places of importance that lacked sufficient military patrols. Likewise, the disappearances had happened near the sewer entrances.
Not wanting to sound the alarms and risk spooking the enemy into preemptive action, Windsweep wrote several letters to the other officers and had Scrounge deliver them all. It took the dog quite a bit of effort to be taken seriously, even after showing them the Commander’s seal. Eventually all the letters were read and gave instructions for last minute changes to patrol routes without explaining why. True or not, the rumors of traitors in the ranks represented an unknown security risk and Windsweep wasn’t the sort who liked taking risks.
Windsweep added to the confusion by assigning out seemingly random tasks. Some patrols only had slight changes in their routes to move them along the city’s coastal outskirts instead of the streets. Others were reassigned to empty the library of its contents and move them to a nearby condemned store house that was so old that it wasn’t connected to the city’s sewers. Similar arrangements were made with some ponies houses being commandeered for storing grain and other valuables. Even more confusing was one patrol that was told to encircle the statue of the city’s founder and defend it from potential vandalizers. That the statue was in proximity to a sewer grate covering a rather important nexus in the city’s shitty underground maze wasn’t mentioned.
Meanwhile, Scrounge was given specific direction to take a team of guards Windsweep knew she could trust to the pumping station. Scrounge used to work there, managing the pressure levels to make sure toilets didn’t explode because the pipes got backed up. After years of performing such work, it was easy for the diamond dog to figure out how to do the exact opposite, fiddling with the pressure valves in precisely the wrong ways.
It was a fluke when an enemy griffon stumbled upon Scrounge’s team and caught them unawares. Most of the ponies were taken down before they even knew what was happening. Scrounge, being a runt, chose to hide while the larger creatures fought. But instead of just keeping to the shadows indefinitely, the brave little pup seized upon the griffon’s moment of distraction and bit his leg, cracking the bone. A runty diamond dog still had a diamond dog’s jaws. This afforded the others the chance to swarm and subdue him. That griffon, Tiger Fang, let out a final shill screech before his beak was bound. Scrounge put the finishing touches on his task before pulling the master lever, flushing the entire system.
As bad as it was in some household bathrooms, traumatizing many ponies into forever distrusting indoor toilets, the worst of it happened in the library, granary, and other non-military places of importance. Buildings were absolutely flooded with the putrid, viscous substance. A terrible odor flooded the air, driving many ponies from their beds to gag and relieve their stomachs in the poorly maintained cobble streets. Equally surprising to the Baltimarians was how their streets had been fowled as well as fouled. Griffons cried out in surprise and desperate pleas for mercy as the nightmarish substance had congealed into quite the adhesive. Few ponies dared approach, so offended were they by the wretched stench. Those griffons who did unstick themselves were too weighed down by the city’s weaponized excrement to take flight. Rather than fleeing, most were found in puddles of their own sick or fished out of the sea.
It wasn’t until morning that the extent of Windsweep’s actions was fully understood. Pegasi armed with nose plugs took to the skies and worked tirelessly to blow away the smell. Unicorns, after failing to pull the griffons free from the vomit-inducing goo, decided to heat the liquid feces until it dried, lessening the smell and making things overall easier to deal with. Enraged by the attack on their city, so many civilians volunteered to help in the guards’ actions that there wasn’t even a need for emergency conscription. It was said that Windsweep actually forewent any sort of breathing apparatus and was one of the first to approach the hardened excrement, chisel in hoof and ready to do her part. Scrounge, having the strongest nose of any of them, pragmatically wore nose plugs while coordinating everypony’s actions. Of the force of one hundred griffons, Captain Tiger was counted among the thirty casualties, of which included zero ponies. The surviving griffons were imprisoned and, given the somewhat socially backward laws so far from the reach of the Princesses, indentured them into cleaning up after Windsweep’s mess.
However, the stench never truly went away. Years later, after the fighting had subsided, the crowns paid reparations to the city to have those affected buildings torn down and replaced with structures that didn’t reek of chemical warfare of the most heinous sort. Some say the stench still lingers. Today, if an outsider were to ask, many locals will gladly go into the story of one of the city’s most harrowing battles, loudly proclaiming how the city wears its scars with pride.
When word reached Canterlot, Windsweep was summoned to the Princesses, whereupon she was said to have received such a vicious scolding that all decorative plants in the vicinity shriveled and died. Windsweep left the throne room wearing the bars of a Colonel and was reassigned to the Badlands where her strategies were pitted against dragons, although with thankfully far less shit. Scrounge was gifted a plot of land near Baltimare, along with the title of a minor lord. The brave diamond dog thanked the Princesses for their generosity, but volunteered to stay by Windsweep’s side until the end and collect his reward upon honorable discharge.
By story’s end, Thomas could do nothing but nod in awe. “Now that was a backstory.”
“Yeah. I think my dame tells it better, but I think I did the story justice,” Moonlight assessed.
Jet also nodded, but not out of agreement. She’d been carefully watching the human’s face throughout Moonlight’s telling, searching for any signs of judgement or disrespect. There’d been a few times he’d looked away and made some odd motions with his hands, but those reminded her more of involuntary thinking actions. His lack of ear movement made it frustratingly impossible to tell where exactly his focus was directed at any given moment, and any other expressions he might have shown were too alien for her to yet read. Overall, keeping her own biases in mind, she’d say that he was impressed by the story. Perhaps he only viewed it as a story and not a crucial moment in the country’s history, but she couldn’t exactly fault him on such a perception. It’s not like she’d react differently to a tale of human history, although she was willing to put that theory to the test.
The human continued. “I know we’ve got more of a western thing going on right now, but maybe there’s a way to squeeze in something like that. Maybe some of the characters are ex-military and we can work some of their experiences into the fights.”
“Oh, I like that. Perhaps old enemies can meet again on the field of battle.”
Jet quietly sighed and contented herself with watching. Nothing that was said seemed worth noting, so she mostly tuned them out while maintaining vigilance. There was a job that needed doing, and somepony had to do it while Moonlight was being lax.
“Welcome to mah home away from home!” Honey gestured dramatically to the humble little house.
“Yes. I have been here before.” Silver tittered elegantly at the larger mare’s antics and stepped forward. Honey then hurried ahead and rang the doorbell.
“Plow, Jona, we’re here!”
A second later, the door opened to the absolute tower of a stallion that was Big Plow. Before Honey could even react, the larger male pulled her into the tightest of bear hugs, lifting the tower of a mare right off the ground. She resisted a little, her dangling hooves kicking weakly and making them both laugh, but eventually she surrendered to her huggy fate. When Plow turned his big green eye on the far smaller mare, that’s when she tensed. She’d seen the way his muscles tightened around the great pillar that was Honey’s physique and couldn’t help but compare how she’d fair against such force. Unfortunately, she wasn’t given long to think before the brown behemoth gave her a frightfully winning smile, dropped Honey to the porch with a soft clop, and pulled her into his embrace. There was no escape.
He was much gentler, thankfully. That shouldn’t have been surprising, though. Any stallion who hugged this much with those tree trunk arms probably had plenty of experience with smaller, more fragile creatures. It stung Silver’s pride to think of herself as small and weak. The former was an unfortunate fluke of genetics, but the latter filled her to the brim with inexplicable shame. Worse, other feelings swirled in her gut, competing for her attention as she weakly returned the hug. It was only polite.
Most prominent among those feelings was an unavoidable sense of arousal. The stallion’s body was riddled with muscle. His arms were wide and mighty. Wrapped around her as they were, she felt safe behind his impenetrable shield. His pectorals seemed especially defined as they threatened to engulf her lithe frame. He smelled a lot like Honey, fruity and with just a hint of musky sweat. He didn’t feel sweaty, but some stallions just stank like that. It wasn’t his fault that his body’s assault on Silver’s senses made her own body want to retaliate by piercing his chest with her sharpened nipples.
“Whoa there,” the big stallion boomed in good humor, letting the mare down. “Watch those things. Ya might poke out an eye.”
Realizing what he was referring to, Silver covered her erect nipples while the earth ponies struggled not to laugh at her embarrassment. She wanted to yell at them, to defend her involuntary physical response, but no words came to mind that didn’t sound petulant. And, as if to add insult to injury, Plow’s body hadn’t reacted at all. Stupid sexy earth ponies!
“Easy, Plow,” Honey chided, stepping between them. “This one’s a li’l jumpy. Don’t wanna spook her into bitin’.”
Plow just shrugged his acceptance. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
Those words left Silver curious. A few explanations came to mind, and she hoped there’d be a chance later in the night to investigate; a point in the conversation that wouldn’t feel awkward.
“But please, come inside.” He motioned his guest in. “Better hurry ‘efore Jona yells at us fer dawdlin’.”
Struck with fear from her mate’s wrathful scolding, Honey just pushed Silver the rest of the way in and closed the door behind them. Though she still had sense enough to quip, “That’s what she said.”
Silver could only groan her irritation at such a crass remark.
“Is she here?” The small yellow mare poked her head from around the corner. Spying Silver, she gave her warmest welcoming smile and came fully into view, wearing nothing but an apron. “Well aren’t ya’ll a sight fer sore eyes.” In the blink of an eye she’d closed the distance with the only pony who wasn’t taller than her. Her hug was restrained and the kiss she planted on Silver’s cheek was chaste yet affectionate.
Silver mirrored Jona’s actions, finding the gestures most inviting. “‘Tis a pleasure to be here.” She gave the entry hall a cursory glance. “You certainly know how to make a pony feel welcome.”
Planting her hands on her hips, Jona threw back her head and pushed out her chest in a flagrant show of pride. “If it don’t feel like home, it ain’t Apple.”
“C’mon Jona. We ain’t sellin’ right now,” complained Honey. “Hay, she’s already sold on me anyway.”
“Hush, you. Let’s get this scrawny thing ta the livin’ room. She looks like she could use a warm beverage, ‘n’ maybe a meal or three.”
“Just some tea would be nice,” Silver said as she allowed herself to be herded into the living room and onto a sizable couch. The couch was clearly designed for earth ponies. Besides the obvious size, which left Silver feeling rather foalish in comparison, there was also the design. Silver knew very little about the composition of couches, but something about this one made it look rather sturdy. Somepony could drop a boulder on the thing and Silver imagined it would be the stone that broke. It put the bat mare in mind of a humble farmer, neither bragging nor complaining as she humbly performed her backbreaking labor. Although the farmer was probably smiling in proud acknowledgment of her capabilities.
Yes. This was an earth pony’s couch.
“Ah’ll get it,” volunteered Plow, making himself scarce. “Ya’ll want sugar or anythin’?”
“Just some lemon would be nice. Thank you.”
“Ah’m so happy ya’ll could take time from yer busy schedule to visit,” gushed Jona as she planted herself beside Silver.
Honey, unsure of what else to do, sat to Silver’s other side.
“I imagine your schedule is far more demanding than mine, but yes. I am also glad that-”
“Enough o’ that fancy talk,” Jona interrupted. “We won’t judge if ya wanna relax. C’mon! Kick yer horseshoes off ‘n’ let it all out.”
Silver laughed appreciably. “That is lovely of you to offer, but I am afraid I cannot.”
Jona looked huffy at this response. “‘N’ why not?”
Honey grinned, curious as to how these two small yet willful mares might come to blows. Although, if they were going to fight over anything, a differing definition of manners seemed like the most likely subject. Honey wondered how she might react if the worst came to pass. Trying to separate them by hand would be like asking to lose a finger; a thought that made her smile morbidly. Worst case scenario: she’d grab Jona by the ankles, chuck her at the wall, and then, before Silver could react, she’d scrunch her into a ball and pitch her out the window. Of course she was sure it wouldn’t come to that, but a small part of her felt guilty for hoping it would, just to satisfy her curiosity.
“How do I put this?” Silver asked herself. “Well, you seem quite proud of your hospitality, yes?”
“Sure ‘s shootin’! It’s a matter o’ pride as an Apple.”
“Well, are you willing to relax the standards instilled in you by your family?”
Jona blinked once, confused. She blinked a second time, more thoughtful. By the time of the third blink, she’d gotten it and made an ‘o’ with her mouth. “Fair enough,” she conceded, no longer looking like she was ready to go to war over Silver’s relaxation. “Ah can respect a mare who respects her family’s teachin’s.”
“Likewise.” Silver bowed courteously. “Thank you for respecting my lingering fear of my dame bursting through the door and scolding me if I so much as slouch.” They all shared a laugh. They all understood the inherent, lingering fear of disappointing parents with high expectations.
Plow chose that moment to come back in, carrying a tray like a waiter. Upon it were four cups of beverages and a plate of cookies. “Fer the lovely ladies.” That set the ladies tittering again. “Careful now. The cookies ‘r’ still hot.”
After feeling the rising heat warm her palm, Silver snatched the topmost cookie from the pile and took a long inhale before biting. “Mmmh! These are delicious.”
Plow beamed. “Ah hope so. Ah made ‘em mahself.” He took a cookie for his own, along with one of the beverages over to a nearby chair. The other ponies took this chance to grab their own treats, enjoying them in the comfort of a modern home in a very picturesque representation of civilization.
That was what Silver thought, anyway. She also wondered if this had been set up deliberately to make her feel more welcome. If so, it was working. However, her expression fell as she looked down into her tea.
“Somethin’ wrong, sugar?” Honey set a hand on the smaller mare’s shoulder.
“The opposite actually,” Silver began. “You have such a lovely home. I confess to feeling a little jealous.”
“Ya’ll should ‘o seen the place when we got it,” Plow spoke up. “It was a bit ‘f a fixer-upper, but nothin’ a bit o’ elbow grease couldn’t handle.”
“Ah, so that’s why this place feels so homely,” she praised while surveying the furniture. “It was literally made with love.”
“Jus’ like mah cookies.”
“It’s the strongest force in the universe!” Jona proclaimed. “Whole civilizations rose ‘n’ fell on the whims o’ love.”
“Careful Princess Cadance don’t hear ya,” Plow cautioned. “Wouldn’t want her realizin’ she’s actually the top mare in town. She’d bake cookies stronger ‘an any army.”
Silver laughed, as did Honey, but both noticed Jona’s contemplative look.
“Is that a thing?” she asked of Silver, whispering as if fearing eavesdroppers. “Could she really take over the kingdom with love?”
Honey and Silver shared a quizzical look.
“Ah dunno,” admitted the tallest mare. “Ain’t never thought about it.”
“Neither have I. Although, now that I am, I wonder if the both of us are not overdue to meet with her pinkness.”
“Ah don’t think Ah’ve ever seen her around the castle, though. Does she have different hours?”
“I could not say. I had to wait in a que for weeks just to interview with Princess Luna, and that was only after Thomas gave me a recommendation.”
“Only a couple weeks fer me, but yeah,” agreed Honey. “We gotta make an appointment, or do we get some kind o’ semi-royal privilege?”
“We had best just ask Luna. Cadence is still a Princess and no doubt busy with princessly duties, although I’m certain she would make the time to see us.” Silver then turned to Plow. “What is so funny?”
“Both o’ ya,” he gestured between the tallest and shortest mares in the room. “Ya’ll ‘r’ talkin’ ‘bout goin’ up to a Princess like it’s nothin’.”
“Now Ah’m wondering if Ah should apply fer a castle job,” Jona added. “The pay’s good ‘n’ they seem ta have a lot o’ perks.”
Once more Honey and Silver looked into one another’s eyes. It was true that they were discussing meeting a Princess of all ponies with an astonishing level of casualness.
“Ya know, if’n Ah told mahself from a year ago what Ah’d be doin’ now, Ah’d probably slap mahself fer thinkin’ mahself a liar.”
Silver, demonstrating the height of poise and etiquette, added, “I cannot confirm, nor deny my hypothetical jumping off the walls in what could only be described as a happy dance.” And she took the most refined sip of tea that anypony had ever taken in that house.
Inevitably, after a noble effort of restraining themselves, the earth ponies all burst out laughing. They were deep belly laughs, the sort that caused one’s sides to ache and the face to painfully strain. Such laughter ultimately proved contagious as even Silver fell victim. Fortunately all were able to move their snacks to safety so that nothing was spilled. It was several seconds before the ponies could speak normally again.
“Ah like you, Silver,” Jona admitted. “Yer a nice, refined kind o’ mare, but ya don’t let it get ta yer head.”
“Thank you for that. I must say that you and your home are just as lovely.” And she took another sip of her tea. She considered raising the issue of her jealousy again, but decided that doing so would make her a rude guest. If need be, she’d raise the issue back with the harem.
“Say, Ah was wonderin’ if ya’ll could set a few things straight,” Jona inquired.
“I will if I am able.”
“How would ya say mah little Honey fairs in bed?”
“Jona!”
“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable question,” Jona replied matter-of-factly.
“It’s a perfectly private question is what it is!”
“Not like ya got anythin’ ta hide in this house,” Jona pointed out while taking a very ladylike sip of her own beverage. “Everypony here’s seen it, felt it, spanked it, ‘n’ done everythin’ else under Luna’s moon. Far as Ah’m concerned, this room’s full o’ experts in the great science o’ tappin’ that plot.”
Honey looked mortified that her lead mare, the one whom she trusted to guide this herd, had so brazenly come out and asked such a question. She was squirming in place, suddenly very self-conscious about her plot and everypony’s apparent familiarity with it. It only now struck her how the very concept of two herds was inherently awkward. She realized that her past explanation to Thomas had been flawed, because she’d not been forced to confront that awkwardness until just now. It was like having two groups of friend’s who’d bonded over very different interest meet, and failing to see eye-to-eye. But this was worse than those groups of friends not clicking, or even coming to blows over differing interests. This was the two groups recognizing their mutual interest in her, the shared friend, and coming together to bask in the dirt they each had upon her. Truly this was the worst possible outcome.
Jona just sat there, her demeanor calm and her expression patient yet expectant. From her position she had a clear view of Honey, her beloved herd mate. Honey was a true beauty, meeting earth pony standards in mind, body, and spirit, and then giving that little bit extra effort, because that’s what earth ponies did. Honey was a true beauty, her strength unmatched, but it was in her moments of weakness that she was truly adorable. Jona felt her heart swell as she watched how the tall mare felt comfortable enough to show this awkward side of hers. It meant she trusted everypony present, which further added to her liking of Silver for winning over the lovable lug.
And, had Jona known the word, she might also reflect on the meaning and implications of schadenfreude.
Plow, wisest of them all, slapped a hand over his muzzle and did everything possible to conceal his very existence. The harem was still a peculiar concept that, as a pony on the outside, he knew that he might never understand. It bothered him a little that there was this part of his herd mate’s life that he could never be a part of, but he loved her. He trusted her to look out for herself, for him, and the herd, so he wouldn’t pry. If she had something that needed saying, she’d say it. That was just how Honey was, and he was glad for it. Also, he didn’t know if it was appropriate for a stallion to be included on what may or may not have been mare talk. Even so, his curiosity was making demands of him. He’d leave if asked, but not a moment sooner.
Silver was also uncertain on how to approach such an inquiry. The rule of the harem was that harem matters could not be discussed with outsiders. Honey’s herd seemed like they were on the outside, but their status as Honey’s herd put them into a gray area; at least as Silver saw it. She knew that Princess Celestia would occasionally invite the herds of her concubines to join them in bed, but that was at their discretion. Luna had done the same in the past, so it stood to reason that she’d pop the question sooner or later, if only to satisfy her carnal curiosity. Was the idea that they’d probably be invited someday sufficient justification? That seemed like bending the rules to a degree that left the bat mare uncomfortable.
Silver thought about what her dame might say to such an excuse, and internally cringed at the scolding she’d no doubt receive. Defying the sanctity of an alicorn’s bed would, no doubt, be condemned as blasphemy. However, the spirit of the rule was for the protection of the Princess. That was the most logical interpretation. Concubines were still free to discuss their friendships and sex lives with whomever they wished, so long as the Princess’ privacy was protected. The Princess was at the core of the harem, so if she wasn’t mentioned, was it still a harem issue? And what would Luna say on the matter?
After much deliberation, Silver finally settled on an answer that would fall well within the admittedly vague boundaries of the harem’s rules. She began by taking a sip of her tea. It was a very careful, very slow sip to drag out the moment. Anticipation needed to be built, which added to the drama. She’d picked that up from Thomas’ stories and appreciated how such techniques enhanced the mood. Giving a very satisfied sigh, Silver smacked her lips and turned bodily to face Jona, her posture ladylike and perfect. With the most refined of smiles, she spoke in the most patronizing way that was equinely, and said, “She does her best.”
Jona’s laughter was a deep, booming uproar that seemed to shake the various knickknacks of the house. Tears flowed from her eyes. Silver feared the neighbors might file a complaint. Plow had both hands covering his muzzle in what appeared to be a losing fight. His body repeatedly convulsed as peels of laughter threatened to break free, resulting in him sliding off the chair and onto the floor. If one were to walk in just then, they might fear he was suffering a stroke. Naturally, Honey appeared to be handling this admission the best out of all of the earth ponies. Clearly all those lessons in self-control had paid off. Mouth open and teeth bared in a silent scream of rage, she was merely gesturing that she wanted to strangle the life out of Silver instead of actually doing it.
Pleased with herself for provoking such extreme reactions, Silver took an extra refined, aristocratic sip of tea. Even her satisfied ‘ah’ had an air of culture and class to it. Her dame would be proud; assuming she didn’t join Plow laughing on the floor.
Honey finally found her voice, and her words were as restrained as they were fitting. “Yer gonna pay fer this,” she informed through labored breaths. “Somehow, someway, Ah’m gonna make ya pay.”
Struck by another burst of wit, Silver began patting her naked sides. “Oh dear. Silly me. It seems I forgot my wallet.” Turning slowly to stare up at the big mare looming dangerously overhead, Silver fought to maintain her straight face as she added, “Would you take an I-owe-you?”
Honey gave a cry like a savage beast, her fingers digging into her own scalp as her head thrashed around. She looked like she might pull out some of her lovely mane. Jona’s booming belly laugh had gone on for too long, and had devolved into breathless wheezing. She looked like she was in pain, but also like she didn’t know if she wanted it to end or not. Plow had lost the fight against himself and was competing with Honey for who could make the loudest sounds. He was rolling around, bumping into things, and it was nothing short of a miracle that nothing fell or broke.
It was a struggle for Silver to maintain her poise in the middle of such chaos. Desperate chortles were at the gates, begging to be let out, but she held strong. Her aristocratic scowl might have curled into a grin and the occasional chuckle snort might have breached her defenses once or thrice, but she held strong. She held strong, the model of noble elegance. Besides, she’d think up a way to turn the tables later. Although these things had to be planned carefully. To bring down divine justice in front of Honey’s herd might make the big mare lose face, which would be inexcusable. And even if she avoided stepping over the line, there was still the risk of repercussions. She knew Honey was the sort of mare who would make good on her word. It was the pride of the Apples, after all. A spanking that made it impossible for her to sit for a week would only be the beginning as the earth mare turned the bat mare’s own techniques against her.
It was some time before the house had finally calmed. Jona was hanging off of Silver and laughing like she’d had too much to drink.
Plow, sensing that somepony needed to be the adult around here, had intercepted Honey’s wrath by pulling her into his lap as he sat back on the chair. There was nothing lewd about the action, nor in how he held her or patted her head. The act was paternal in nature, resembling a parent trying to calm down a very large child, but not in a patronizing or sarcastic way. That would just make things worse. He embraced her with his love, his touch passing on his affections and reminding her that she was still cared for. He did this until the tension left her body, and then he did it some more until he was certain that any homicidal urges were thoroughly pacified. To the best of his ability, the warm firmness of her expansive plot atop his muscled thighs was ignored, although it still felt nice.
“Ya’ll wanna know a li’l somethin’ ‘bout how Silver is in bed?”
Hearing her tone and looking into her eyes, Plow’s expression fell. He saw that his efforts had only mostly succeeded, and that his beloved still had revenge on the brain. It was probably too much to expect otherwise, but he was allowed his hopes. But being a practical pony, he maintained a gentle yet unyielding grip around the mare’s body, just in case things escalated beyond words. He hoped that if the worse came to pass, Jona would be mindful enough to do the same with Silver.
“Ah already told ya ‘bout the ropes ‘n’ spankin’s, right?”
“Yes you did,” Jona confirmed, still chuckling. “And Ah’ll admit, that was pretty… interestin’.”
Silver scoffed. On the one hand, she was a little upset with Honey for having already revealed the harem’s secrets like that. Granted, it was using the bat mare’s own logic, but it was the principle of the thing. On the other hand, she scoffed again. “Say what you want,” she challenged. “I have nothing to hide. How about you tell them about the time I tied your wrists and ankles like a pig and… well, I’d rather not spoil anything,” she snickered smugly.
Honey shook her head. “Nah. Ah was thinkin’ more like a couple nights ago. Remember?”
Silver’s face scrunched in thought. She remembered that night well, but couldn’t think of anything embarrassing. Nothing she’d done seemed like suitable fodder for Honey to use against her. Unless…
“Remember what ya did ta,” she paused, looked around the room conspiratorially, and whispered, “the big mare.”
Silver felt her blood run cold. She wouldn’t.
“Who’s the big mare? That Surprise gal?” Plow asked. “She’s cute. Looks soft enough ta bounce back from anythin’.” He was smiling, trying to disarm the feeling of growing tension. One look at Honey’s eyes told him he was wrong.
“Nah. The other big mare.” Honey briefly wondered why she needed to make the clarification, why he hadn’t immediately made the connection. Maybe, being outside the harem, it was harder for him to really conceptualize the Princesses as sexual beings? Knowing a thing and knowing it were two very different things, after all.
Silver did not concern herself with such philosophical quandaries. Rather, she swallowed convulsively at the look of deadly daring the big mare was shooting her way. She would.
Jona had finally stopped laughing, sensing the seriousness of the situation. Her gaze darted between the two concubines. One looked like her head was on the chopping block and the other looking proud to have put it there. She thought back to the harem, running the roster over in her mind. Which mare was bigger than Honey or Surprise? And which mare would make Silver’s body temperature drop so low? She knew that there were only five concubines. Honey would have told her if there were more. She told her herd everything. Well, almost everything. On the night she’d first been accepted as an applicant, Honey’d said that there were certain things that she wasn’t allowed to say, things that were meant to stay private.
Jona then felt her body tense as the pieces finally came together. She remembered what those secret things were about. She realized who this big mare was. A part of her was ready to shout, to chastise her thick headed love for breaking what seemed like such an important rule. But that’s when the context of the conversation clicked. Those things Honey had been saying had added up to something… something truly dreadful. If Jona was right, which she hoped she wasn’t, it meant that Silver had been a very naughty mare.
Honey held her head high, her posture as regal as Silver’s had been not long ago. Her eyes sparked with a vengeful flame that threatened to consume the entire house.
She is, Silver realized, her heart sunk. She braced herself. The words would be bad enough, but it was the aftermath that she truly feared. All that time, all that training she’d gone through to do the things she’d done; Jona and Plow had none of it. They were regular ponies, as she had once been, as her family still was. They saw the Princesses as just that: Princesses, alicorns, and goddesses. One did not do the kinds of things Silver had done to a goddess. How badly would they think of her once the truth came out?
“It was her idea, ya know,” Honey began. “That big mare that don’t need to be named.”
Silver pursed her dry lips. At least the rule wouldn’t be broken, technically.
“Ya shoulda seen her, bent over on her elbows ‘n’ everythin’. She was…” Honey paused to fan herself. “Woo! She was smokin’ is what she was. Jus’ those two luscious orbs hangin’ out there like… Well, Ah don’t really no,” she laughed. “But trust me when Ah say they’re like the best pillows ah ever slept on. ‘N’ Ah’ll fight anypony who says otherwise.” She surveyed the room with a mighty stink eye, daring any to challenge this truth. Then she offered a “Sorry,” to Plow, who stared back in silent awe.
Silver might have offered the obvious counterargument, but she was too busy contemplating the doom of her good standing with this lovely family.
“It was all Ah could do ta not run up ‘n’ hug ‘em. Maybe try fallin’ asleep right then ‘n’ there.” Honey hummed longingly as she spread her arms to engulf the coveted mass, imagining herself giving the grand orbs their proper reverence with a steady stream of nuzzles. “Hmm. Soft,” she mimed squeezing, “but jus’ firm enough. Like nothin’ ya ever felt ‘efore.”
Plow stared in rapped attention at his mare. He’d caught onto what she was talking about and had already formed a picture in his mind. There was nothing wrong with that, though. He’d gone into book stores, read the paper, and picked up the occasional magazine. He’d never set out to look for such pictures, which would have earned his bottom a fierce battering if his folks ever found out. He’d been raised to honor those that, apparently, weren’t being named. Rather, the pictures had found him, irreverently scattered about as they were. He had eyes, so there’d been no harm in stealing a peak, or two, or six. As such, there was absolutely no reason for him to feel guilty as he used those pictures as a reference for his lifelike and detailed mental image.
Jona watched dumbfounded as Honey spread her arms wide, groping the imaginary ‘pillows’ that weren’t actually imaginary. She knew she should stop this. Honey knew better than to start. And yet the words died in the yellow mare’s throat. This was terribly disrespectful, what the big mare was doing. But why? Jona couldn’t quite answer that. In any other circumstances with any other pony, Honey talking like this would be perfectly harmless. But with this pony and this context? It surely exemplified everything that was wrong with city life. Their families had warned that city life would make them decadent and disrespectful of tradition. Even if was mostly in gest, Jona feared that Honey and the herd had already been contaminated. As lead mare, she had a responsibility to look after her herd, to guard their moral integrity, to put a stop to this right here and now. So why wasn’t she? Why was she hanging on Honey’s every blasphemous word, and why was she getting all tingly down there?
Honey finally let her arms rest, looking mighty pleased with herself for enthralling her audience like this. “So there she was, bent over, her mighty moon almost glowin’ as it rose over the horizon.” Her hands waved in awe. “She looks back over shoulder at her.” Her eyes fixed on Silver, causing the others to do the same. “She wiggles that thing all come-hither-like, her teats swayin’ as she does,” Honey rocked her body to mimic the described movement, her own teats swaying almost hypnotically, “‘n’ she gives this sexy li’l wink.”
Silver made a low mewling sound deep in her throat. Her hands wrapped around herself, partially to warm herself up, and partially to cover her shamefully erect nipples. The memory was all too real. And although there were a few things Honey had left out, or maybe could have better described, the bat mare couldn’t bring herself to voice such criticisms.
“‘N’ Ah thought Silver’d jus’ do the sensible thing ‘n’ hug ‘em. Ah really did. The others, well, they was busy with… other things,” she trailed off, briefly averting her gaze. She might have been out for revenge and skirting the rules, but she knew better than to cross the line. There was no need to bring innocents into this. “But Ah saw it. From where Ah was, Ah got a good look at that mare when it took her.”
“What did?” The words left Jona’s mouth before she’d even realized they were hers.
“The hunger,” Honey beamed. “Ah don’t know why, but it was like the mare’d suddenly got herself possessed by a starved dog. ‘N’ with,” she paused to check her wording, “the big mare shakin’ those big sacks o’ meat in her face, well…” She gave a shrug. “Ah guess it wasn’t that surprisin’ what she did.” Then, with the shit-eatingest of shit-eating grins, Honey opened her mouth just so, fully exposing her pearly whites, and closed her mouth with a mighty click. And then, as her audience all gasped in horror, she decided to be a total ass and click her teeth twice more.
Silver buried her face into her hands and screamed.
“You didn’t?” Jona asked, horrified.
Silver just screamed into her hands again, if a bit more softly.
“You did.” Plow’s words were more of a statement than a question.
“I thought she wanted it!” Silver declared. “We were talking about it just before and… You heard it.” She pointed to Honey. “You heard what she was saying. Obviously she was dropping hints, so don’t make me out to be the bad guy.”
For a moment, Honey was a little worried. A serious question like this wouldn’t abide an answer that was anything short of the truth. But the truth would exonerate Silver of her guilt, which would completely defeat the purpose of everything that had been said thus far. If Honey lied, even if her herd didn’t find out, then she’d be the one feeling guilty. However, feeling a spark of creativity that she was most proud of, she found a loophole. “If’n ya say so.”
“Don’t you give me that!” Silver jumped to her hooves, only to spread her wings and fly right up to Honey’s face. “You even said from the start that it was her idea.”
Honey blinked at the hovering mare. “Ah did?”
“You most certainly did,” Silver announced victoriously. “It was all her idea.”
“Yeah? But who was the one that done it?”
Silver’s flight faltered and she almost fell.
“Ya can’t say ya’ll was ordered, ‘cause it was jus’ hints ‘n’ stuff,” Honey countered, going back on the offense. “She implied things. Ya’ll were the one that attacked her.”
But before the two could get any further into a shouting match, a much quieter voice made itself heard over the ruckus. “Is… is this what ya’ll do in the harem all night?”
Honey and Silver turned to face Jona, brought back down to reality and too dumbstruck to know how to respond. More mindful of herself, Honey also became aware of a thing poking at her inner thigh. She swore internally for not anticipating this. Etiquette demanded that she hide her stallion’s indecency from their guest, but she swore further at her inability to do so from such an awkward position.
“Ah can’t even imagine,” Jona trailed off, staring absently down at her hooves. “Ah always knew ya’ll did stuff, even weird stuff, but never that… Ah don’t even know if ‘weird’ is a strong enough word.”
“She wanted it,” Silver stated. She dropped down to the floor, feeling that flapping wings might distract from the importance of her words. Pushing aside her fears and embarrassment, she stared steadfast back at Jona, her pride as a concubine on the line. “I do not say that as an excuse, but as a fact. L-” She stopped herself. “She needs us. She has a… There’s no getting around this. An insatiable appetite. She has needs that we,” she motioned back to Honey, “are charged with meeting. And sometimes,” her cheeks reddened as she explained, “that requires a level of… experimentation.”
Looking up, Jona just nodded absently as the bat mare finished saying her piece. “So ya bit her?”
Silver pursed her lips, swallowed, and then said, “Yes.”
“‘Cause ya’ll were experimentin’?”
“We were.”
After several seconds of agonizing silence, Jona heaved a long and powerful sigh. It was the sound of exasperation, of a mare who was not mentally prepared to deal with this kind of crap. “‘N’ here Ah thought stallion mouths was the worst of it.”
“Actually,” Silver replied, “that is rather tame compared to our other activities. Activities, I will say right now, that only she is allowed to tell you about.” She looked back at Honey and gave an expression that brokered no argument.
Honey, having a good idea of what Silver was likely talking about, nodded.
“What d’ya mean she’ll tell us?” Plow asked, finding his voice.
Honey chuckled. “Ah thought Ah told ya. If she asks, a concubine’s herd can be invited to join.” Regaining a bit of her earlier confidence, she elaborated. “Then ya’ll won’t need ta jus’ imagine what she looks like all bent over-eep!” She almost jumped out of her seat, only to turn a stern glare upon he who had so carelessly poked her.
Plow just glared back, the rightness of innocence bolstering his conviction. “Its yer own fault fer gettin’ me worked up.” He then slapped a hand down on her flank. “Don’t deny it.”
As the pair had their little standoff, Jona let out a quiet little giggle. “That was a lot more intense than Ah was expectin’.”
“Sorry,” Silver said. “This sort of thing happens a lot in the harem. I guess you could call it our workplace culture.”
“It’s weird.”
“I cannot argue that.”
Silver’s deadpan gave Jona a snorting laugh. She stood and said, “How ‘bout you ‘n’ Ah go find ourselves a seat. Lunch’s been cookin’ ‘n’ we should give Plow a chance ta calm down ‘efore we eat.”
“That would be appreciated,” the stallion deadpanned, still locked eyes with Honey. “Shame more mares don’t know how ta treat a stallion proper like.”
Silver started giggling and turned to follow Jona to the dining room. “Even I know how that’s going to end.” The two took their seats, with Silver making sure her back was to the living area. She did the polite thing and pretended not to notice when she heard the pair move about, absconding to parts unseen to take care of recently risen issues. “So, how do you like Canterlot?”
Honey and Plow eventually returned, smelling of soap and with damp spots on their fur where they’d recently washed, and served lunch. The lasagna was placed in the center of the table, allowing everypony to reach across and take as much as they wanted. It was food made by earth ponies with primarily earth ponies in mind, so it went without saying that the food was plentiful, delicious, and that failure to consume until one’s gut was swollen was not an option. Conversation turned to more casual topics, such as turns in the market, current events, and other miscellaneous issues.
“Yer a fine mare,” Jona stated, slapping Silver’s shoulder while her other hand rested on her expanded stomach. “Don’t let no pony tell ya otherwise.”
Silver, feeling that she’d earned the right, slapped Jona’s shoulder right back. “Likewise. No matter what Honey says.”
The big mare choked on her beverage, almost performing a perfect spit take before she covered her spewing lips.
Jona laughed, more at the display than the joke. The rest of lunch passed uneventfully. It wasn’t until Jona had to leave for her work that everypony agreed that it was time to go. Silver shared long and warm embraces with the members of Honey’s herd, agreeing that they needed to meet up more often.
“Ah think Ah’ll walk ya back home.”
Silver looked up at the tall mare. “Really? But I thought you had tonight off.”
“Technically, but its good manners ta see a friend home, ‘specially if the friend is all tiny.”
Silver’s eyes narrowed. “I assume your vow of vengeance is still in effect?”
“You bet yer sweet plot it is,” Honey affirmed jovially. “Don’t worry, though. Ah ain’t gonna hogtie ya ‘n’ leave ya in a dumpster somewhere.”
“I was not worried… until just now.”
Honey shook her head, a warm smile upon her lips. “Nothin’ bad like that. Justice will be served, but it’ll be fair, so don’t get yer nickers in a knot.”
Silver very nearly made a crass remark about Honey knotting her nickers, but didn’t want to give the big mare any ideas. “Well, I appreciate the offer. Thank you.”
The pair waved their goodbyes and began the journey back to the castle. They walked hand-in-hand, taking in the sights as they moved at a casual pace.
“Your family was simply delightful,” Silver beamed. “I admit I’m a little jealous of what you have to come home to.”
“Ah don’t blame ya. Sure as shootin’ beats a room full o’ pinups, plushies, ‘n’ that thing ya keep in yer drawer.”
“Says the mare with a stack of comics taller than she is.”
“It’s actually mostly manga, but touché.”
“But in all seriousness, I’m envious of the family you have,” Silver said with a hint of sadness. “I had never put much thought into having a herd of my own. There was always something else that needed my attention, but I had always assumed that having my own herd would be inevitable.” She licked her dry lips.
“Well that’s dumb,” Honey blurted. “Ya can’t jus’ except that kind o’ thing to jus’ happen. Ya gotta look fer it. Ya gotta work fer it. Ya gotta trudge through the mud ‘n’ find the ponies ya were meant ta be with. That don’t jus’ happen.”
“Surprisingly insightful words, coming from you.”
“Hey. Us Apples ain’t the oldest clan in Equestria fer nothin’. We got the wisdom o’ ages on our side.”
“Oh. Does this wisdom have anything else to share?”
“It says if’n ya say anythin’ about this ta Jona, you’ll be drownin’ in suiters ‘efore the next sunup.” Her tone was deadly serious.
Silver chuckled. “And now I’m wondering if that is worth the risk. Although I suppose I’m glad for the option. Thank you.”
“Eh. Don’t mention it. We’re in a kind o’ herd, right? Lookin’ out fer each other jus’ comes with the territory.”
“That is very magnanimous of you,” Silver said appreciatively. “It almost makes me feel bad for what I’m about to say.”
A wary eyebrow made the mighty climb up Honey’s forehead, her eyes alight with warning. “Ya’ll about ta say somethin’ stupid?”
“Not at all,” Silver assured, flexing her wings to be ready for a swift getaway. “Simply a passing observation that I wish to share.”
While seemingly impossible at first, Honey’s brow climbed even higher, almost touching her mane line. “Ah know yer gonna say somethin’ ta piss me off, but yer so cocky about it Ah’m gettin’ curious. So go ahead.”
“It was just a little thing, really. A fleeting thought that I very nearly forgot about.” She tittered like a filly. It was very fake. “Earlier, back when everypony was laughing at your expense, I got to thinking.”
“Here it comes,” Honey muttered, cracking her knuckles. They weren’t too far from the house just yet. If she grabbed the little trouble maker, she could run her back home, throw her on the bed, and tickle her until she either surrendered or peed herself. If the latter, she’d make the mare wash the sheets in atonement for her terrible crime. Honey smirked at her own deviousness, anxiously waiting for Silver to give her an excuse.
Thomas decided that things need only be as awkward as he made them. That seemed like the mature way to approach the situation. Sure, his familiar routine had been shaken by the intrusion of a stranger, but that was no reason to sulk. As the very smart and respectable Warren Farrell liked to say: “You are the architect of your own misery.” That meant that it was ultimately on each individual to decide how they reacted to things. In this case, Thomas decided to view this as a test of how far he’d come since his arrival in Equestria.
However, given that the human was still very much a home body and lacked any real compulsion to go outside, it fell upon Silver to pick the destination for tonight’s date.
“We should go to the museum.”
“Oh. Is there a new exhibit or something?”
“No, but that is the point. We are outside the tourist season and there have not been any recent additions. Attendance will be low, so things should be reasonably quiet.”
Thomas smiled and bumped the small mare’s shoulder. “You sure there isn’t a new Luna exhibit?”
She scoffed. “Just because I have a healthy appreciation for the amazing and gorgeous mare, that is no excuse to treat me as though I am obsessed.”
Thomas nodded. “No, I guess you’re right.” The pair walked along the streets in no great hurry. Other pedestrians sidestepped the shorter pair with little fuss. Those that saw their third member moved out of the way with greater urgency, but ultimately went about their business. “There are plenty of better reasons to call you obsessed.”
Incensed by such rudeness, Silver delivered a fierce and righteous smack upon her friend’s bottom. He yelped and jumped a little, but his wretched smile only fanned the mare’s flames of ire. She huffed and turned her nose up. “I will have you know that there is far more to me than some stereotypical bat pony frothing at the mouth over the obviously superior Princess.”
“Yeah, I know,” Thomas agreed casually, too engrossed with the conversation to pay much mind to the ponies staring warily as they gave him a wide berth. “You’re also a pretty classy lady.”
Silver flipped an ear at him.
“The way you talk and even the way you walk,” he motioned, “all give off this vibe that you’re from high society. Just speaking with you kind of makes me feel like I’m an uncultured bumpkin in comparison. Normally I don’t care at all about that stuff, so you getting me to notice is pretty impressive.”
Silver allowed herself a proud but soft smile.
“But you don’t flout it, if that’s the word. You’re dignified, but don’t feel the need to show off or look down on others. I guess you make me feel a little self-conscious, but in a way that makes me want to be better. It’s like how someone can start talking about proper back posture and everyone just starts straightening up.”
Silver turned to face her companion, her face devoid of any prior wrath. “I make you want to be better?”
“Sure. Come to think of it, all the mares in the harem kind of have that effect. It’s like you’ve all got these things about you that I can’t help but respect and want to emulate.” Seeing Silver’s pleading eyes, Thomas guessed that it would be too embarrassing for her to ask him to elaborate on her specific qualities, though she clearly wanted him to. “Well, like I said about you being the picture of culture. You’ve got manners and you almost always speak so carefully and respectfully. You’re the sort of person that parents with wilder kids would point to and say ‘why can’t you be more like her?’ But you’ve also got a cute flustered side that makes you fun to tease.”
Silver snorted, but kept her expression warm and serene. “And you, Thomas, are very easy to talk to.”
He shrugged. “Such is one of the myriad of boons in being an introvert. I can also entertain myself with my own thoughts while others get fidgety if they don’t move for too long.”
Silver chuckled. “True enough, but there is more. You really make an effort to listen. Although you are an outsider, you make the conscious effort to pay attention and make a pony feel listened to. That is less passive than it might seem, and I am not the only one who appreciates this about you.”
Smiling, Thomas decided to reach out and take Silver’s hand as they walked.
“Oh my. So forward!” Silver gasped dramatically.
“Shut up,” he chided, although his heart wasn’t in it as he blushed.
“You almost never want to hold hands, though. Is there a reason?”
“I guess. I mean, I hold Moonlight’s hand a lot. Maybe it’s ‘cause she’s the only one I really walk with alone. Any other time I’m with you guys in a bigger group and I guess things get awkward.”
“How so?”
“It’s probably silly, but it’s like I feel pressured to pick who to hold hands with; like I don’t want anyone to feel excluded. I know it’s probably nothing, but I get so wrapped up in thinking about it that it just seems easier to compromise and not hold anyone’s hand. Also there’s the height thing.”
Silver made an ‘o’ face and nodded. “That one I understand.”
“You do?”
“Indeed. ‘Tis one thing to walk alongside the likes of Moonlight, who is only slightly taller. But in the company of the overbearing height of the others…” she trailed off.
“Yeah. It’s like you’re holding your parent’s hand or something. I know it’s dumb, but I sometimes get a little self-conscious walking with the big ladies. Making things worse is how everyone seems to think I have a super young face, so it’s like there’s justification for them thinking I’m walking with my mom.”
“Such is the burden carried by those of us who are small and cute,” Silver agreed solemnly. “Add to that the all too frequent indignity of being forced to sit in the laps of our peers, and I am honestly surprised that we did not think to go out sooner. ‘Tis truly refreshing to actually be able to look into a friend’s eyes without needing to crane my neck back.”
“I wonder if Luna has the opposite problem, living in a land of shorties.”
Silver gave an aristocratic snort. “Of all the burdens my beloved must bear, I am reasonably certain that looking up all the time is more straining than looking down.”
Thomas chuckled and gave the mare’s hand a squeeze, which she returned.
Arriving at the museum, Thomas paid for three tickets. Frugal as he was, he’d seen his bank account and knew he could easily afford something like this. Not helping matters was the way the ticket mare gave a disapproving look at Silver, quietly shaming her for making the stallion pay. Thomas smiled at this. He also hoped that Jet would appreciate the gesture, small as it was.
Thomas had been to this museum before with Luna, so there weren’t very many surprises. Although those times it was a media circus with journalists and VIPs competing for Luna’s attention, all while he stood in the background and waited for her to need some stress relief. With no responsibilities and fewer bodies clogging up the halls, he was actually able to enjoy the exhibits in a far more relaxed atmosphere.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen any prostitutes outside the harem.”
Silver’s eyebrow made an inquisitive climb up her forehead. Thomas’ comment was strikingly sudden, especially given that they were looking at some pre-Exodus pottery. “What brought this on?”
“Just thinking. The Princesses have this super need, right. Well, if prostitution is more accepted for ponies, does that make it more common? Like, each office has a manager, an accountant, and the office hooker who gets to just walk around until they’re called?”
Silver’s face scrunched in thought. “I never really thought about it, although I doubt such a set up actually exists. Most whorses operate out of brothels in a fashion analogous to that of a restaurant. A customer comes in, orders something from the menu, and then ventures to a private room where they may partake in their order,” she explained matter-of-factly. “What?”
Thomas was chuckling. “Sorry. It’s just,” he giggled again, “the way you said it. It was so casual, like there’s nothing special about it, but you also used really clean words like ‘partake’. I’m just,” he shook his head while wearing the silliest of grins, “having a bit of trouble pinning down the tone.”
Silver stared perplexed at the man, confused by his confusion. “Sex is special when shared by ponies in love. Bucking, if you prefer the more crass term, is what happens when a whorse relieves the needs of their clients’ bodies. Bucking,” she shook her head in disgust at using such a crass word in public, “is little more than a business transaction.”
“As opposed to sex, which is more emotional.”
“Precisely!”
“So, technically speaking, we’re not actually whorses, are we?”
Silver chuckled, although her ears pivoted around to make sure there weren’t any eavesdroppers. “That depends on how you look at it. Although, in our case, in the strictest definition of the term,” she leaned in close and lowered her volume, “I suppose we are not.” She giggled like a filly sharing in school gossip.
Jet’s expressionless face made it look like she wasn’t paying attention, which was her intent. She was a guard assigned to a mobile charge. It was her duty to watch and protect him, not eavesdrop on his frivolous conversations. Nothing of interest was being said anyways, so she was free to devote the bulk of her focus to her task. The halls of the museum were spacious and largely empty, just as Silver had predicted. This would make it next to impossible for anypony to sneak up on them. And although her armor would deter any stereotypical goons in black masks, the elegant violet metal was also a beacon that there was something nearby worth protecting. And although the addition of the museum’s security guards made it unlikely that anything would happen so long as they were here, the real risk would come once they were back out in the open.
Jet entertained herself with combat scenarios while maintaining her watch. Being a bat pony and reasonably confident in her aerial skills, she believed there was little to fear from any pegasus or other bat ponies. Earth ponies were generally slowed down by all that extra muscle, but that just meant that even a grazing hit would do substantially more damage. By her side she had a sheathed sword, along with a pouch of potions and powders. If she could keep her distance and blind her opponent, that would give her an invaluable edge with which to take them down.
But the real danger, as ever, would come from unicorns. The trick with unicorns was that their abilities had such a wide variety. With an earth pony, a keen eye could discern if they were more of a sprinter or built for the endurance of a marathon. Yet only another unicorn could determine the opponent’s range or level of control. Moonlight was the sort with a short range, but had above average control, enabling her conjured shield to double as an effective bludgeon. Having a shield as a preferred weapon would also make it harder for Jet to use her bag of tricks. Since overpowering the unicorn was unlikely, Jet reasoned that the key to this particular victory would lay in misdirection, of either distracting her or finding a way to attack from two sides.
Yet Jet understood that all of this was still amateur level thinking. They were both guards, which meant that just as she had been trained to counter unicorn abilities, Moonlight had been trained to handle opponents trained to counter unicorns. She’d keep her range low so as not to expend too much energy too early. And even if Jet found a way to divide her attention, she did not know the mare’s full library of spells. Even the tiniest spell could make all the difference. Moonlight could, for instance, cast an ignition spell that was no more intense than a lit match. However, if aimed properly, she could ignite somewhere extremely painful and turn the tables in the blink of an eye.
Of course, Jet was only using Moonlight as a stand-in for unicorns in general, and this wasn’t meant to be indicative of anything. A less disciplined unicorn would probably start out with something flashy to shock their opponent, perhaps by using a bright flash of light. Such things were costly, but a bright light would be exceptionally effective against a bat mare’s sensitive eyes. A loud noise would be just as dangerous, but both would run the risk of attracting unwanted attention. If that happened, even in the unlikely event of somepony snatching Thomas and winking away, there would already be unicorn guards on the scene to pick up the trail and follow in force.
In this scenario, the most sensible goal of any attacker would be to abduct Thomas. He was an exotic creature with close ties to a Princess, making him ideal for ransom. However, knowing the guards’ record with such dealings, the smarter thing might be to take him out of the country and sell him on the black market. Besides the obvious desires of disgusting perverts, the fabled human come to life would attract the eye of alchemists. To them, a human would seem like an untapped gold mine, once they chopped him up of course. The supply of human parts would be finite, so either he’d be given over to a true master who could figure out how to use him without frivolously wasting the supply on too many experiments, or end up in the hands or claws of a crafty sort who would flood the market with fakes.
Jet Black understood how morbid her thoughts were. Being largely vegetarian, most ponies abhorred the very idea of leather, let alone all the miracles and abominations created by alchemists using the organs of rare creatures. The things in her bag of tricks were all perfectly legal; made from the organs of domesticated and non-endangered creatures, or horns bought legally from minotaurs, or scales harmlessly scavenged from the Dragon Lands. These were all just facts about the world they lived in, and it seemed foolish to try and hide from them.
Moonlight, Jet reasoned, was likely just as aware. As a guard, her training must have included the basics on how to spot signs of the illegal trafficking of alchemical ingredients. She must have known that this was among the more likely reasons why Thomas needed to be guarded. Surely she knew, but was she like other ponies in that she shied away from the darker truth of things? Was she willfully ignorant enough that news of the latest aphrodisiac hitting the market didn’t make her gag while picturing how it was most likely made? That was how Jet reacted, which she considered to be most sensible.
However, like too many others who supposedly shouldered the burden of protecting this land, Moonlight probably wasn’t as sensible as Jet. She probably liked to pretend that Canterlot was as safe as it claimed, that a lack of any obvious danger enabled her to drop her guard while on duty. Moonlight probably wouldn’t even think past her charge, of what an enemy alchemist of sufficient skill might actually do with the human. If humans were truly non-magical, then how might their ingredients react to that of something especially magical; for instance, a unicorn’s severed horn? It was a revolting notion, but one that the protectors of Equestria needed to consider. That so few did was why she was here in the first place.
Thomas and Silver continued their idle chatter as they moved from one exhibit to the next. This sculpture symbolizes this. That artist was going for that idea. Whoever painted this thing was probably under the influence of something. Jet followed, always three steps behind and her ears constantly searching for signs of anything suspicious. Silent and ever vigilant, she was the very picture of how a guard should be. It was of little surprise when museum security straightened up after spending more than a second looking at her.
“Is something bothering you?”
“A few things. First,” Thomas pointed to the painting taking up most of the wall, “this looks like something straight out of Lovecraft.”
“Out of what?” Being a pony, hearing a name like Lovecraft had caused Silver to make several assumptions about such a name, all of which were inaccurate to a hilarious extent.
“He’s a writer famous for his descriptions of other worldly monsters, nightmare abominations from beyond the stars, and things with thinking that’s so alien from ours that it’s almost maddening to make sense of it.”
The painting, to all in earshot, fit that description like a glove. A mass of writhing tendrils and grotesque mouths had swarmed atop a mountain. A single hideous eye shined brightly as dark clouds concealed the sky, casting the ground in unnatural and sickly yellow hues. Trees that resembled hands dotted the landscape, strangling everything unlucky and stupid enough to come within reach. And in the foreground stood a tiny beacon of hope, emitting a soft blue light that held the not-darkness at bay. Despite that the pony’s back was to the viewer, it was clear that she was having some sort of standoff with the colossal abomination that took up most of the canvas. Though she was small, the coloration combined with the wings and horn made it clear who this was.
At the bottom was the title: ‘A Nightmare’s Nightmare’.
Although somewhat distressed, Silver puffed her chest in pride when she realized what she was looking at. “Nightmare monsters look their most ferocious only in the dream. If you were to pull this thing into the waking world, even you could probably kill it if armed with a sharp pencil.”
Thomas chuckled at the amusing thought, but guessed by the tightness of the mare’s grip that the bravado was more for her sake. She was the mare, which meant she had to be brave for the stallion. Hampering this social obligation was how ponies tended to process emotions differently from humans. Thomas still didn’t fully understand it all. It didn’t seem right to say that humans were more stoic, or that ponies all wore their emotions on their sleeves. He’d seen far too many examples contradicting such a theory.
Maybe the difference was in how they processed images and stories? When the first short film of a train arriving was made, people jumped out of their seats for fear of being run over. When the original King Kong came out in theatres, there were a bunch of warnings to remind the audience that what they were seeing wasn’t real. Thomas, having been raised on movies and going on to witness the vast splendor of still art on the internet, was largely numb to this sort of thing. He had a disconnect that told him that this was just a picture. By contrast, Silver was likely plagued with the understanding that this sort of thing was more than just a picture. Monsters like these really existed, and one might have even tormented her when she was young. Maybe nightmares brought on by monsters brought on a whole different kind of fear, one that was not so easily dismissed upon waking.
Whatever the reason, Thomas squeezed her hand right back and started pulling her away. “Maybe we should move on.”
“Yes, lets,” Silver said as though it were her idea and took the lead. They were already in the Princess Luna section of the museum, so there was no shortage of exhibits to catch her eye. There were representations of Luna past and present, depicting her sitting regally on a throne while overseeing petitioners, in the midst of fierce battles with enemies of many species, extending the hand of diplomacy with a tribe of primitives, or just standing around looking bored.
Thomas laughed at those last ones. “What do you think she’d rather be doing right now?” He gestured to the mare’s forced grin.
“After she punched the painter and ate the canvas?” Silver asked. “I could not say.” And they both chuckled. “I actually prefer this one.”
Luna was standing in the middle of a crowd of bat ponies. They were either naked or wearing loin cloths while the guards by her side wore armor that shone with refinement. At the hooves of the guards were baskets of food and fabrics, all being eyed hungrily by the malnourished primitives. Luna appeared to be offering the hand of friendship, which was accepted by a mare wearing a feathery headdress.
“It’s meant to contrast the primitives to the Equestrians, right?” he guessed. “The Equestrians have such nice things because they’re so advanced. The primitive bat ponies should count themselves lucky that the civilized are taking pity on them.” His words were shared with no shortage of sarcastic venom.
Silver gave the man a look. Then she looked to the painting, and back to him, and her perfect posture fell apart. “It was supposed to be optimistic. The bat pony tribe had just overcome countless trials to make it this far, and Luna is there to welcome them with open arms. But…” She gestured to the painting. “I suppose that was actually a common attitude at the time,” she reluctantly admitted and huffed in a manner befitting a noble. “You ruined it. It was something beautiful, and you ruined it,” she whined and stormed off, Thomas hot on her hooves.
Jet followed, sparing only a single glance for the painting. She thought on how he’d discerned the cultural context of the scene so easily. As far as she knew, the human’s knowledge of Equestrian history was spotty at best. If she had to guess, his assessment was based upon comparing this painting to similar human art, and his derisive attitude reflected a poor opinion of his own past. Jet was mindful of her own biases and would have to be careful when writing her reports, although her superiors would appreciate if such insights were included. What he says and what he doesn’t say, she remembered.
Silver was able to recover from her foalish tantrum after Thomas bought her a beverage. She had been acting dramatically for the sake of drama, but the gift had left her feeling guilty over such unbecoming behavior. In any case, she needed to make it up to him. “Should we,” she leaned in and blew on his ear, “go freshen up in the lavatory?”
Thomas smiled flatly. “It was one thing when you-know-who practically dragged me in there and cast all kinds of spells to keep the smell away. Sorry, but I’m not too keen on doing that in a public bathroom if I can afford it.”
Silver’s ears splayed in defeat. “I cannot argue that.” Even if she were a unicorn and could cast a decontamination spell, that would not make the strange bathroom any less strange, nor any less filled with all manner of alien germs. “The bathrooms would be a terrible location.”
“See, this is why prostitution should be a standard part of any kind of business. If it were, they’d probably have a room already set up that we could borrow.”
“Are you still insisting on this?”
“Yeah.”
“Well stop. It is absurd.”
“How so?” he asked. “I can think of several human reasons, but what are the pony reasons?”
Instead of telling him off, Silver remembered that she still owed him for her earlier behavior. Indulging his question seemed like a fitting start. “Well, for one, I doubt there are actually that many whorses in the city. Such a skillset is actually quite rare, and there certainly would not be enough for every business.”
“Alright, then how about just the big businesses. A company of twenty or more could probably afford it. Maybe they just rent them for a designated day out of the month. Maybe they can even write it off as a business expense to maintain workplace stability.”
Silver had to chuckle at that. “Clever, but making it sound more plausible just heightens the absurdity. No pony is going to do that.”
“Well, why?”
“For one, I honestly doubt the crowns would ever allow workplace prostitution to be tax exempt. Besides the whole thing being terribly silly, by that line of reasoning, all revenue from brothels would effectively be classified as tax exempt. I can practically hear the petitioners arguing how unfair it is for them to have to pay extra for others to get what amounts to a discount.”
“Okay. I’ll give you that one.” Thomas chuckled. “Now I’m thinking of everyone arguing why sex shouldn’t be therapeutic if it’s paid for.” He laughed again.
“For another, you have to consider the logistics. If there were a designated room, as you propose, would that room have a bed? How often would that bed be cleaned, which would cost, and how willing are you to touch a bed of another pony’s leavings?”
“Okay, yeah. That’s kind of gross.” Thomas then added, “I just realized how lucky I am that one of my girlfriends has servants that do the laundry for us.”
“Instead of a bed, would it not be cheaper to have a floor with a drain?”
“Which is basically just another bathroom,” Thomas sighed in defeat. “Fiiine!”
Silver beamed, most satisfied in her victory. However, her pride was short lived after she realized she’d just squashed his dreams. That just left her feeling even worse than before. “If not in the bathroom, then is there somewhere else you prefer? I feel guilty about acting foalishly earlier and am in increasing need of some manner of redemption.” All of this was said into her beverage as she was unable to look him in the eye.
Thomas smiled, a little taken aback by the mare’s forwardness. “Um, okay, but I’m not sure sex is really the best way to go about that. Pretty sure we were going to do that anyway.”
Silver snorted her discontent. “True enough. But you are notorious for keeping your wants to yourself. It makes matters frustrating for those seeking apology gifts.”
“Well, maybe that’s the point?” he offered. “Maybe I’m the kind of guy who likes making others squirm?”
Silver giggled and shook her head. “That sort of thing comes with the job, but you’re right. Sex is a terrible gift, not least of which because I might very well enjoy it more than you.”
“How you figure that?”
“My apologies, but it is simply common knowledge that mare parts are more sensitive,” she explained in a way that was almost bragging. “There are studies, not to mention tests with magic.”
“Okay, I’m calling BS on that second part. If the studies are done with magic, isn’t there a bias? Like if its what Luna did with-” he didn’t say, but opened and closed his fingers, “-then couldn’t they just make one more sensitive than the other?”
“Possible, but unlikely. In an experiment as you describe,” she mirrored his hand motions, “then there would be a third party present to provide the necessary scans to confirm exactly how the spell is being cast. Besides, what you describe is more of a test on that particular unicorn’s abilities. The studies I describe involve scans on volunteer test subjects. Far more scientifically sound.”
Thomas huffed through his nose. “Well I guess that makes more sense.” He laughed dismissively. “I guess magic scans can do just about anything.”
“Just about, yes,” Silver nodded and took a final sip of her beverage. “If I may ask, how do humans manage?”
It took all of Jet’s might to keep her ears from fixing forward. It was what her reflexes demanded, so she took manual control, mindful to maintain a steady rotation while keeping at least one ear partially facing the most interesting conversation.
“With a lot of trial and error,” Thomas began plainly. “It started with what we could see with the naked eye, and then telescopes were invented to see the stuff really far away. Someone looked at that and figured out the reverse, which led to microscopes. Somewhere in there someone figured out how chemicals led to different reactions. We got stethoscopes to enhance hearing, and at some point someone figured out machines to see heat, different kinds of light, and even inside the body.
“Sorry for not knowing the history. This probably sounds really dumb.”
“I do not think so. I imagine what you describe is the same across all civilizations. You simply did your way without the aid of magic.”
“Now I’m wondering if its really an aid, though.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, humans don’t have magic, so we’ve had to come up with other ways to solve problems. We don’t have any levitation, wings, or even super earth pony strength, but we still had heavy boxes that needed lifting. So we invented the pulley. We never had magic scans, so we had to work hard at finding other ways to figure out what’s what.”
Silver nodded. “Do not quote me on this, but I am almost certain that the pulley was invented by an earth pony who was tired of relying on unicorns and pegasi to do the lifting. I remember because she was said to have given a longwinded rant when her invention was put to use. That must have been pre-Exodus, several thousand years ago.”
“I don’t know when the human pulley was invented, probably around the same time, but I know a lot of our big medical discoveries weren’t made until the last couple centuries, and especially the last one.”
“It was the last millennium for us. Most modern medical equipment was developed over the course of several centuries.”
“And yet we’re kinda at the same level.” Thomas gestured around the museum’s lobby. “Funny, that.”
“Based on your dream memories, I would dare say humans are quite a ways farther,” she added in a conspiratorial whisper.
Jet was still. She gave no outward sign of any sort. There was no evidence that she’d heard what she’d heard, but that didn’t stop her imagination from threatening to run away with her. She could only draw upon science fiction and other speculative fictions for reference, none of which she’d ever taken much interest in before. What did silver mean by ‘farther’? Thomas had called the bat ponies in the painting primitive compared to the ‘enlightened’ Equestrians, but how did that translate? The more she thought, the more she realized a single, incontrovertible truth: not knowing was the worst, possible, thing.
As if remembering who else was with them, Thomas and Silver agreed to change subjects. With the silver mare calmed, they went back to perusing the exhibits in search of inspiration for further conversation. They made small talk and held hands the whole time. They broke for lunch, which Jet insisted on ordering on their behalf. She didn’t test the food for poison, but she did keep an eye on the server for any suspicious behavior. Afterwards, with the museum as explored as it could be, the pair and their shadow walked around the city for a bit before returning to the castle.
“I had a nice night,” Thomas acknowledged. “Thank you.”
“The pleasure was mine.” Silver gave his hand a friendly squeeze before flicking her tail against his rear. “Although I am still bothered that you have left me in your debt.”
“Is it really a big deal?”
“That depends. If I were to, say, lick your left cheek, and draw attention to your right cheek being dry, would that be a big deal?” she asked with a triumphant smirk.
Thomas was fuming at her exploiting his OCD for her own gain. “Okay, fair point.” He looked up and down along the street, surveying the shops in search of an answer. If Silver was suffering an irritant on par with his OCD, then he owed it to his treasured friend to ease her pain. None of the shops struck him as having anything he’d want. He could always lie and let her buy him some useless novelty, but then he’d be the one left irritated with owning a piece of junk he didn’t want and would feel guilty about throwing away.
Sex, as discussed, was also out. Despite seeming like the easiest solution, a thing he could ask for and not regret; although he doubted Silver would accept that. He’d already foolishly reasoned with her how there was nothing he could ask for that they wouldn’t do anyway. He pursed his lips, irked by this conundrum.
“Is there a service you can provide?” asked Jet, startling the others with her words. “My apologies for interrupting, but if a gift is proving insufficient, then perhaps a service would be more to your liking?”
Silver beamed. “Yes. Yes, that could work.” She turned to bodily face her companion. “Well? Is there anything I might do for you?” Feeling playful, she added a flourishing bow and said, “My liege.”
Thomas laughed. He liked the idea in principle, but for the life of him still couldn’t think of anything to ask for. “Sorry, but nothing’s coming to mind.”
Silver’s pout was fierce, demanding, and adorable.
“I mean it. I think all my creativity was used for writing the other day. Now every time I think of service, I just keep equating it with sex, which is already a no-go. I can’t really think of any stuff I want and…” he trailed off in thought. “Honestly, I’m kinda just happy going on a date with someone I love.”
Silver flinched as if struck. “You realize such a heartfelt confession only deepens my guilt, right?”
“I do now, yeah.” His grin was of the highest shit-eating variety.
Frustrated beyond words, tempted to stomp her hoof in another unsightly foalish tantrum, Silver felt like she’d been backed into a corner. So, like any cornered animal that’d run out of options, she lunged for her emotional assailant. An arm was wrapped around his back while the other hung under his chest. Her leathery wings enveloped him in that special way only available to winged creatures, and her head was planted between his neck and shoulder. It had been a little nippy tonight, so a shirt blocked her access to his skin, but she didn’t mind too much. He was warm and comfortable to hold. It was nice being able to touch her fingers while hugging somepony for a change, which compelled her to give an extra grateful squeeze.
Thomas, once he realized his opponent’s method of attack, retaliated by resting one hand on the small of her lower back and planting the other on her shoulder. His head rested on top of hers, enabling them to rub cheeks in that disgustingly sweet way monopolized by inconsiderate jerks who wanted to show off that they were dating. Nothing was said for fear of spoiling the moment. Thomas just guided them to a less busy part of the sidewalk until Silver got all the hugging out of her system. She eventually did, and the trip back to the castle was held in comfortable silence.
No one was really in the mood to do much of anything that night. They were taking a break from dates and just having a stay-in night. All on-call concubines had assembled in Luna’s room as their default gathering spot; save for Honey, who had the night off, and Moonlight, who was on Luna duty – as they called it – for the evening.
Thomas was sitting on some pillows at the Princess’ desk where Moonlight had brought their typewriter for the evening. The words just weren’t coming as he’d have preferred, so he hoped some healthy conversation might offer some stimulation. “Out of curiosity, what do you do when you’re on call but not actually doing anything?” Thomas asked.
“I do not follow,” Silver answered. She was relaxing off in a chair in the corner with her nose buried in a book.
“Well, even when you’re there, you’re not having sex all the time. There’re sessions. For me, when she’s not scratching that itch, I’m just off to the side reading,” Thomas explained. “Usually she gives me a glamour so I’m not noticed. Saves me from being stared at while I’m trying to relax, it lets Moonlight and I chat it up without looking like we’re shirking our ‘responsibilities,’” he said with air quotes. “It also lets me move around whenever she needs me. Is that the same for you guys?”
“I like playing with the perception filter,” giggled Surprise. “So long as I keep my distance, no pony notices me, not even when I’m flying around singing, or making fart noises with my armpits, or just doing whatever.” She flew around the exceptionally high ceiling to demonstrate her activities.
“I would chastise you for being unprofessional,” began Silver tiredly, “but I fear you would only take it as a challenge.”
“Yaperoony! I just have to steer clear of where everypony is staring at Luna. That’s where they’re all focused, so they’d notice any disruptions. She can see me, of course, and I can tell.”
“Tell what?”
“She’s fighting not to laugh. Even though she’s really good at it – might even have a spell to help her cheat – I can tell she’s struggling not to just fall to the floor and surrender to the giggles.”
“I think I’d like to see that,” remarked Thomas. “Hmm, you know, if that perception filter spell is, like, supercharged, could you touch people without them noticing?”
Surprise ceased her circling and froze, hovering in midair. A dangerous and frightening expression had taken her face. She was in deep thought.
Silver groaned. “Why do you insist on giving her ideas?”
“Hey, I was just asking a question.”
“That kind of spell isn’t exactly easy,” informed Surprise, “or all that legal. You need a special license for that sort of thing, not to mention there are oaths you’ve gotta take.” At their confusion, she elaborated, “Guard reserves, remember? Not too many unicorns up in Cloudsdale, but we still have to learn the basics for what is and isn’t legal.”
“Thank the stars. I shudder to imagine what mischief you might get up to if you were utterly impervious from notice,” Silver said, flipping the page she’d finished.
“So what about you, Silver? What do you do between sessions?”
“Same as you, more or less. I maintain my dignity with some mild reading when I am not called for.”
“Yeah?” Surprise asked. “And what about when she’s got you all stowed away under her dress? Are there pockets for you to store your books, or do you just go all out until she has to pry you out with a crowbar?”
“I’m thinking the latter,” contributed Thomas.
“I like the first one. She gets all warm and cozy somewhere, trying to be all refined, but then she thinks, ‘Hey. Princess boobs are soft.’ And off the book goes as she turns herself into a migrating itch. As for the book, well… The pocket I’m thinking of isn’t in her dress,” Surprise tittered, giving a suggestive wink and a lewd gesture below the belt. “If you know what I mean.”
“What are you-oh. Oh!” Silver pulled away, utterly offended. “That is not a pocket!”
“With enough magic, anything can be anything.”
Silver shot the human a death glare. “Stop helping.”
“Make me.”
“Well, uh, what do you think Moonlight is doing right now?” Silver’s only hope was to try to get this discussion on a less arousing topic. There was nothing wrong with becoming aroused in the presence of her friends, especially over this of all topics. However, under these circumstances, she couldn’t help but feel that giving in to her primal urges would constitute some sort of loss. “Honey has those comics of hers.”
“Manga,” Thomas corrected. He didn’t much care about the argument of comics vs. manga. As he saw it, even if there were notable differences in style, books in different countries were still the same kind of medium. He just felt like being difficult. “But yeah. I guess she probably reads, too.”
“And Moonlight?” Surprise asked. “You guys are always together, so what about when she’s alone?”
Thomas furrowed his brow. “That’s actually a good question. Huh. Come to think of it, I think this might be the first time she’s ever been on Luna duty without me.” He looked over to the empty spot on the bench. When they were writing, they’d be sitting side-by-side and taking turns between reading and writing. That’s how it’d been ever since they got this typewriter. But now, there was a notable cold spot to his side. “I guess with Jet around, we won’t be together as much.”
“You okay with that?” Surprise asked, fluttering down behind him and setting her hands on his shoulders.
“I guess. I’m an introvert. I’ve got a natural tolerance for being alone and not really doing anything.”
“I don’t know whether to be jealous or not,” Surprise informed.
“And it’s not like we don’t see each other in the mornings and… mornings.” He frowned. “How does night schedule terminology still throw me off?”
“Lack of practice?” Silver suggested idly and turned the next page. “Just flip the script. Your mornings are what the sun-stroked masses call the evening. Their domination over the language is an affront to those of us blessed with the gentle kiss of the moon. And as a follower of Luna, you have a responsibility to use the proper vernacular to further the cause of Lunar domination.”
Thomas blinked. “You said that so matter-of-factly,” he said, unsure if he was allowed to chuckle at what may or may not have been a joke.
“Because it is a matter of fact,” deadpanned Silver, never tearing her eyes from her book. “You have shared a bed with the Princess of the Night, and have therefore been conscripted into her service.”
“Oh-oh-oh!” Surprise shot her hand up as though she were in class. “Me. Pick me!”
“Yes, Surprise.”
“Can I help with Lunar domination, too?” She tilted her body and gave her rump a mighty roll where all could see. “The supremacy of the full moon can no longer be ignored.”
Thomas gave the white mare’s ‘moon’ an appraising look and nodded. “Okay, but I don’t think I have all the qualifications.” He gestured down to his seat and lifted his butt up a tad. “I’m basically flat back there.”
“Don’t worry, Thomas!” Surprise looped an arm around his torso and held him tightly against her breast. “The shining glory of the moon accepts all,” she said as if she were imparting some divine truth. “Even if you’ve got a little colt’s butt, so long as you worship correctly, you’ll be allowed to serve.”
Silver finally set down her book and gave a hearty one-mare applause. “Well said, Surprise! Well said!”
Surprise gave a bow to her audience while Thomas, looking resigned to his fate, let himself be carried along. It wasn’t the worst thing to be smooshed against the heavenly warm softness of Surprise’s chest pillows.
“Now that we’ve got that settled,” continued the white mare, “while we wait to confer with our fellow conspirators, there was something else I wanted to say.”
“By all means, fellow disciple,” Silver said with a dramatic gesture. “Speak. Share with us your great wisdom.”
“About what we were saying before, with the invisibility thing.” Silver tensed. “I was just thinking that Luna could-”
“You just said they were illegal!” Silver cut her off. She reached for her book, ready to wield it as either a projectile or a shield against the white mare’s dangerous mind.
Beaming, Surprise left Thomas behind and fluttered over beside her fellow flyer and new prey while he watched. “Actually it’s more like those spells are restricted. And so long as it’s just between us,” her eyebrows bounced lasciviously, “no pony would even notice.”
Sensing the growing pinkness of her cheeks, Silver attempted to hide behind her book.
“Come on, Silvs. You saying you wouldn’t want to try some invisible play? It’s super popular in unicorn erotica. They cast the spell and do whatever they want to their partner. Sure, they all agree beforehand and the un-spelled pony knows something’s up while the game is on, but they can’t consciously feel anything being done to them.” Surprise leaned in, creeping ever closer as Silver tried to pull away while pretending to read. “You could do anything you wanted to her,” she whispered huskily.
“A-anything?” Silver dared ask, her armored will cracking before such temptation.
Surprise nodded. “Pet her. Kiss her. Reach under her dress while dozens of ponies watch without seeing. Her body will know, though,” she whispered into Silver’s ear. “She’ll get all hot and bothered the more you do. She’ll know it’s you, but she won’t know what you’re doing, and not knowing just makes it so much more exciting. She’ll be totally at your mercy, helpless to your every whim. The pleasure you give her, the pleasure which she will feel, will come from you. You’ll get to dominate the famous and wielder of the highest authority in Equestria, all without the need for ropes or other restraints. How does that sound?”
Silver was leaning so far out of her chair that she was at risk of falling off, still pretending to be engrossed with her reading. “You have,” she cleared her throat, “given me much to think about.” She then planted a hand just above Surprise’s breast and gave her a firm shove.
The white mare play pouted, but let herself be pushed away. Thomas could tell she’d been satisfied with the results of her teasing. Taking more interest in this topic than his spiritless writing, he decided to join in. “Then again, this could actually work in a lot of other ways.”
Silver groaned, cursing the damnable human’s imagination while Surprise listened with ears at full attention.
“It’s a supercharged perception filter we’re talking about, right?” He wanted to make sure that he understood the concept. “No one will notice what’s going on. So what if Luna casts the spell on herself so that she’s the one who goes unnoticed? Maybe she can throw in some hypnotic suggestions. Tell you to go places and do things, all while she has fun with you.”
Silver gave a mewling whine, unable to cross her legs hard enough to stem the tide of her tingling. Surprise was far more shameless. Standing beside the shorter mare, she let her imagination run wild as her hands made themselves busy.
Pleased by this reaction, Thomas decided to press the issue. “Maybe we can have some kind of competition. Team invisible vs team oblivious. We alternate who’s who and the group that climaxes first is the loser.”
“Dibs!” Surprise called. “I call dibs on team oblivious. We’re not married to that name, are we?”
“No, but I just said we’d be alternating.”
“Don’t care. I want to see what kind of naughty things you guys can pull off while I’m not noticing. Oh! There should also be a way to remember what all happened after it’s done. Not knowing is exciting in the moment, but it’d be a real waste to never know all the things your body experienced.”
Grinning at Silver’s obvious distress, Thomas grabbed a pencil and a spare sheet of paper to start writing. “Super perception filter spell. Team competitions. Ability to remember afterward,” he listed off. “What else?”
*Knock Knock*
“Oh thank Luna!” exclaimed Silver as she jumped to the floor and hurried to the door, unconcerned for her flushed state. “I do not care who it is, so long as they get you two to behave.” She briefly paused to straighten out her fur and loincloth before opening the portal to greet the newcomer with all due pomp and circumstance. “Hello there. Who might I ask isss-it’s you,” she finished with a groan.
“That it is, tiny bat butt,” acknowledged Talon, unbothered by her disappointed tone. “That it is.” She then turned to Jet and said, “See. Told ya they knew me.” The wren didn’t even wait for the guard’s reply before shoving her way inside and closing the door behind her. “What’s up, yawl?”
“Hey, Tali.” Elated, Thomas hurried over and threw himself at the griffon. Her fur was soft, but the muscles beneath were as sharp as ever. She returned his embrace with even greater vigor, pulling him up into a near-bear hug.
“Oooh, it’s been too long!”
“Good to see you again, Tali,” greeted Surprise. She bounded forward and threw herself into the hug as well, but off enough to the side so that she didn’t accidentally crush the human.
Talon accepted this second hug partner with open arms and the pair shared a snoot-to-beak nuzzle. Surprise also had her hooves up, flapping just enough to hover and make it look like the wren was supporting all of them.
Standing off to the side, Silver attempted to sneak past the trio. Talon smelled like she hadn’t showered in a while and the bat would have like to avoid needlessly messing her fur. Alas, it was not to be.
“Not so fast, you!” crowed the griffon as she snatched up the bat and wedged her into their interspecies sandwich. The four stayed like that for very nearly a minute before the taller females released their shorter friends.
“Where have you been?” asked Thomas. “I told Moonlight you were back, but she hasn’t seen you around the castle.”
“Yeah,” Surprise chimed in. “And we never really hung out that much before you up and vanished. You owe me cuddles!”
“Can’t argue there,” agreed Talon as she wrapped a claw around the tall mare’s waist and pulled her into a half hug and letting herself partially sink into the white mare’s plush frame. “Big and cute mares have always been my weakness.”
“That aside,” began Silver, “I was also wondering why you did not visit sooner.”
Talon rolled her eyes with enough force to shift the planet off its axis. “I’ve been trying to sort through the flaming trash pile that is the castle bureaucracy. Basically, I kind of forgot to sign some forms no one told me existed before I left, and so kind of lost my room.”
“Lost as in lost access, or that it wasn’t where you left it?” asked Surprise. “Because I’d believe either one.”
“Lost access. Apparently, it was some new protocol even ‘Leste didn’t know about. And by new, I mean written up more than a decade ago. There was so much legalese to sift through, not to mention having to track down where they shipped my stuff, that I haven’t really had time for anything else.” She slumped in the white mare’s arms, taking advantage of the position to bury her face in those ginormous mammaries. She exhaled her relief and relaxed into their warm softness. “It’s been a nightmare and a half. Though I wouldn’t put it past ‘Leste to have done this as a kind of welcome home prank.”
“Aww, you poor dear,” cooed Surprise. “Here. Let’s get to the bed so you can have a rest.” She guided the wren to the oversized mattress, planting her hooves back down and walking awkwardly to continue cradling her head between her bosoms. They maintained this position even after sitting. “What?” the pegasus asked of her short watchers. “I like how her face feathers tickle.”
“So tired,” Talon wheezed, sounding dreadfully parched. “So thirsty. So cold.”
Thomas chuckled at the wren’s hammed up performance. “Glad to see you haven’t changed a bit.”
“Seriously, chimp. I need a drink.” She then fake coughed. “And maybe some extra bodies to warm me up.”
“I will fetch some water,” offered Silver. She turned to the human and added, “I give you permission to stay behind and be molested.”
“I can live with that.” Thomas strolled over, bracing himself to suddenly be yanked forward into another constrictive embrace. He got in reach, but none came. Putting his confusion aside, he hopped up onto the mattress and cuddled up to Talon’s other side. It was a welcome change from what he’d expected, her letting him cozy up on his terms. Her warmth was inviting and her smell, though rank, also aided in his relaxation. Talon was the second creature he’d ever cuddled since coming to Equestria, giving every part of her presence a kind of nostalgic feel.
“Here you go.” Returning from the bathroom, Silver handed over the glass of water, only to receive a felinoid tail swat to the twat, making her shoot up to the ceiling. The tuft of fluff didn’t actually hurt, but it was startling.
Talon downed the glass in a single gulp and said, “Thanks, babe. You’re a treasure.”
“That reminds me,” Thomas spoke up. “Before, back at the pool, you said you’d been spending time in Ponyville.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, what was that like?”
“I’ll bet it was super exciting,” chirped Surprise. “That town is in the papers, like, every other week for something or other. Bet you never got a chance to get bored.”
Grateful to finally be out of everyone’s focus, Silver made her subtle retreat back to the table where she’d left her book. Leaving would be rude, plus she did want to catch up with her pseudo-mentor. The two of them were friends; at least as far as Silver believed. And though the griffon was loud and obnoxious, there was no denying that she had an inviting charm about her. Silver would just prefer to enjoy the mammal-avian in moderation.
“That’s one way of putting it,” agreed Talon with an exhaustive chuckle. “Almost everything that happened was a direct result of whatever Twilight – the element of magic,” she explained for Surprise’s sake, “was getting up to. She and her friends almost always had their noses shoved up whatever shenanigans were running loose. A lot of the time they were even the cause of it. Though there are these three fillies that also started stirring up their own brand of trouble. They were trying to get their cutie marks.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Surprise questioned. “Foals of any age can get all kinds of crazy trying to find their destinies. I know I did.”
“The issue is that two of the three are sisters to the Element Bearers, so now I’m convinced that causing trouble is hereditary,” Talon stressed. “Some of the stuff they get up to, all that work they put into some big stunt or project…” She trailed off with a morbid giggle. “More than once I about peed myself when it all came crashing down.”
“Oh r-really,” snickered Surprise, trying to cover her mouth out of a sense of etiquette. Laughing at foals with trouble getting their cutie marks was just punching down, though everypony knew that one foal who always got into the most ridiculous messes. “Like what?”
“Well, this one time they went zip lining and… I didn’t really get all the details. But somehow they ended up covered in so much tree sap that they got stuck together and…” She trailed off, snickering more mirthfully this time. “Stuff just kept sticking to them. Eventually, there was so much stuff stuck together that they literally snowballed down the streets. Everyone and everything that didn’t dodge in time was snatched up and absorbed into the ball. Also, I’m not too sure, but as it was happening, I could have sworn there was this music playing. It went kind of like la lala la la laaa,” she sang to the beat of Katamari Damacy.
Thomas had buried his face in Talon’s side boob to muffle his chortles. The sticky ball thing seemed like classic CMC chicanery, but the song, too? He really ought to have been more surprised than he was. It seemed like he was finally learning to roll with some of the punches of Equestria’s weirdness.
“I’d lend a claw whenever it was needed, but mostly I tried to steer clear of all that crazy. You know, for reasons.” She gave a knowing look to Thomas. “Wouldn’t want to accidentally change something I shouldn’t.”
Thomas snorted and replied, “More like you didn’t want to get lectured about interfering and told you had to leave.”
“Also yes.”
“And speaking of staying, you didn’t really say what was going on with you and Fluttershy. I forgot to ask the last time.”
“Fluttershy? She’s the butter yellow pegasus with the pink mane, right?” Surprise asked.
“Yup.”
“I like her. She always looks so shy in photos. I just wanna pick her up and make her feel safe in my arms.”
“Too late. That’s pretty much been my job since I got there,” boasted Talon. “And believe me, that mare makes it real hard not to huggle her every chance I get.”
“She as soft as she looks?” Surprise eagerly pressed.
“Softer. Not to mention being the Element of Kindness makes her just a treasure. The one drawback is that she usually smells like a zoo from working with animals all day. But when she showers, she’s got this natural aroma that…” She shuddered, mumbling incomprehensibly. “Yeah. How that filly stays single is a mystery.”
“Is that the type of mare you go for?” Silver asked, daring to draw attention back to herself. “If it had to be one of the Mane Six, I would have thought that you would prefer one of the more athletic mares, somepony who could keep up with you.”
“Nah. Surprise kind of hit the nail on the head. That filly’s sweetness incarnate. She’s got some pretty bad social anxiety, but I think I’ve got a thing for projects.” Talon gave Thomas a friendly shove. “At first, I was just planning on bunking with Twi for a week or so. For whatever reason, the Ponyville library doubles as a living space with spare apartments. I think whoever designed that place might have been drunk, or maybe was a bigger bookworm than Twi. Anyway, it was all casual at first. I’d hang out with whoever looked fun, just living in the moment, but the big yellow butter ball just kept catching my eye.” She swooned wistfully. “And not just because she’s smoking hot, either.”
Thomas nodded. “Right. You said you liked big mares with light colors.”
“Who doesn’t?” questioned Surprise while pressing her arms together to push up her breasts. “We’re awesome!”
“I prefer the gentleness of cool colors, though I won’t argue the size.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Thomas remarked. “Big is nice, but I’m also partial to more lean ladies. Most I know are super confident in themselves, which is always a bonus. I think the slogan goes: Big Tit Power, Small Tit Body.”
Surprise blinked as she considered Thomas’ words. “You know, I think I’d buy that shirt.”
“Pretty sure it’d look more fitting on me, though,” countered Talon. Her breasts weren’t exactly small by human standards. However, if they were all human and not blessed by magic, she definitely wouldn’t be having as many late-life back problems as the more well-endowed mares.
“He was looking at me when he said it,” argued Silver. Her book was down and she was sitting up straight, posture perfect, and arms folded beneath the second smallest chest in the room. “Never underestimate something just because it is small.”
“But yeah. Big ladies and light colors,” Talon continued. “That’s pretty much what I’ve been doing; and in more ways than one. Also steering clear of trouble.”
Silver asked, “So what brings you back? You left so suddenly and you almost never wrote.”
Talon guiltily rubbed the back of her head. “Yeah. Sorry about that. Hate to say it, but I kinda suffered an extended bird moment.”
Surprise and Silver made knowing o sounds, leaving Thomas as the odd man out.
“What’s a bird moment?”
“Weird instincts in us winged creatures,” Talon explained. “We just get these urges to fly the coup. Sometimes it’s because we spend too much time grounded, but mostly it’s totally random. Nature calls and we just have to answer doing bird stuff.”
“My dame had a thing for nest building,” Surprise added. “One minute everything’s normal. Then we take our eyes off her and she’s out picking up twigs around the sky trees and building nests in the back yard.”
Silver gave a forlorn sigh. “That happened to my sisters more times than I can count. Every time my father would bring us all into the living room and lecture us about flying around the city to keep the urges satiated. We did, but it never seemed to help.”
“It’s totally random,” Talon agreed, sounding vindicated. “Making nests, migrating, or even just breaking down into fits of squawking. Those are the worst.”
“How come I’m only just now hearing about this?” Thomas asked. He looked Talon in the eye and added, “This really seems like the sort of thing that should have come up in your lessons.”
“Sorry. I was teaching you about touching. Never really thought about dealing with winged ladies going into squawking fits. Eh. Let’s call it a bird moment.”
“You never answered the question, though,” reminded Silver. “You sound like you have come back full time. What about Fluttershy?”
Talon heaved a tired sigh and slumped forward. “I’m tempted to say I got lost in that mare’s eyes, or something equally stupid that I can just pin on my bird moment. Maybe that’s part of what happened, but really I was just being dumb.” She fell back on the bed, not taking the others with her as her legs kicked idly off the edge. “What was going on with me and Fluttershy was, well, hard to explain. At first, it felt like just a fling. She checked off enough boxes for me that I kinda fell in lust with her.” At Thomas’ confusion, she elaborated. “I just wanted her for her body. Loins were a yearning and I just needed to get it out of my system.”
“Ah. And she was okay with that?” he questioned warily. “Using people like that isn’t all that acceptable for humans.”
“So long as you’re upfront about it, ponies are cool,” Talon explained. “I was like a heat buddy, only minus the heat. We’d hang out a little during the day, but at night we’d ride each other so hard we walked funny the next day. It’s just a bit of harmless fun.”
“Humans call that hook-up culture. I’ve heard some solid arguments about why it’s ruining marriage and breaking down society.”
“Wow. Human society doesn’t sound all that fun,” Surprise observed.
Talon scoffed and continued. “Like I was saying, it was simple at first. The plan – if you can call it that – was to bang until I was ready to return to the nest. But,” she groaned, “that filly proved sweeter than I expected. After a point, it was like I was feeling real feelings for her. As you might guess, it only got more complicated from there.”
“Love tends to do that,” Surprise agreed wisely.
“I’m not even sure if it was really love, though. I tried to see, tried taking her out for some real dates and stuff. She seemed into it at first, but then we’d start talking about what it’d mean if we wanted to go further, and that’d always ruin it.”
“How though?” Silver asked. “Is it normally hard for concubines to date outside the harem?”
“Not usually, no. The problem here was, well… the chimp’s fault.”
“Hey. What’d I do?”
“Because of you, I knew that she wasn’t allowed to leave Ponyville,” Talon grumbled. “Prophecy and stuff. Couldn’t tell her, but she wasn’t willing to leave, anyway. Too attached to her animals and friends. And me, well, I wasn’t willing to uproot myself either. Too attached to Canterlot and all the fine pieces of tail within.” Her sigh was long and powerful enough to shake the curtains on the far wall. “Long story short: I got my heart kicked in the teeth after falling for a mare I couldn’t have.”
“Aww, you poor thing,” Surprise cooed. She cuddled up along Talon’s side, draping most of her body along the wren’s like she was a living blanket. The pegasus tenderly nosed under the griffon’s chin while holding her in a gentle embrace.
“Yeah. Sucks to be me,” Talon grumbled, staring vacantly up at the ceiling as her claw snaked its way down the pegasi’s back. However, she sounded more disappointed than heart-broken. “Not fun, but I’ll get over it.”
Thomas hesitated only briefly before mirroring Surprise. Ponies were tactile creatures and griffons – in his experience – were no different. This situation was too foreign for his words to do much good, but hugging always seemed like the safest and most reliable course.
Silver, not wanting to be left out, fluttered over to the interior of the bed. With Talon’s cooperation, she maneuvered the wren’s head into her lap and began tenderly running her fingers through her head feathers. The sounds the griffon made suggested her appreciation. “What about Fluttershy, though? How did things end?”
Talon sighed again. As much as she hated being pitied, she wasn’t about to do anything that might dissuade this kind of attention. “It was amicable,” she admitted. “Romance just wasn’t in the stars for us, but we still liked each other’s bodies. I’ll definitely be spending the night with her the next time I’m in Ponyville. And she knows my bed’s always open to her… just as soon as I dig it out of all that red tape.”
“Didn’t you have a roommate?” Thomas recalled.
“Yup,” Talon affirmed, accentuating the last letter with a pop of her beak-lips. “She had a bird moment shortly after me. But for some reason, she wasn’t hassled as much as me when she came back. Still had to change rooms, but whoever’s in charge didn’t drag their hooves like they are with me. Now I’m technically staying with her illegally. It’s a hot mess.”
“Sounds like the sort of thing someone ought to get fired over,” observed Thomas.
“Here’s hoping.” Talon raised her empty claw as if in a toast. “Talked with ‘Leste and she agrees the System needs a serious overhaul.”
“Well I’m still glad you’re back,” Thomas hummed and stroked his palm over her abs. “Starting to worry I might be addicted to all these hot bodies, though.”
“Welcome to the club,” chuckled Talon. “Withdrawal is a pain in the ass, but at least the dealers are friendly.”
Surprise squeaked after feeling her butt being pinched. “Hehe. Super friendly.”
“You okay?” Moonlight asked. In the carriage beside her, Thomas was shaking and keeping his eyes forward. He’d been like this for almost an hour. Ever since the chariot took off from the ground, he’d done little apart from staring transfixed at the butts of the pegasi pulling them along. As his mare, she’d naturally held onto him for comfort, which seemed to help. However, he seemed dead set on not letting his eyes wander, especially not downward.
“Yeah. Sure,” he replied bluntly.
“I thought you said humans flew?” inquired Surprise.
“Yeah,” breathed Thomas. “In great big metal canisters the size of a train car that has a solid couple inches of steel between you and the imminent fall.”
“Ah like that idea!” Honey piped up, having been similarly quiet for some time. Her preferred point of interest had been the carriage floor. “We should make those. Sounds way safer.”
“Aww, it’s not so bad,” cooed Surprise as she motioned to the chariot drivers. Eight very large and powerful-looking pegasi beating their wings in rhythmic unison pulled the chariot. “And see those guys?” Two armored pegasi were flying in escort formation to either side while Jet hung back to bring up the rear. “The guys in front are professionals. They pull these things all the time. And even if something went wrong, you’ve got plenty of wings ready to save you.”
“Not helping,” Thomas countered flatly.
“If you really want some not-helping, just think about what little miss green must be feeling,” Talon offered as she flew just overhead. “Even bat butt – skinny as she is – could probably lift the chimp if she put her mind to it, at least, for a while, but the farmer…” She trailed off a moment, letting her implications sink in. “Muscle ways more than fat, big buns. It’d take at least three, maybe five of us to carry those flanks.”
“Yer lucky we ain’t on solid ground, yet,” Honey intoned threateningly. “Else Ah’d show you what all this muscle can really do.”
“I know you would,” Talon taunted chipperly. “That’s why I plan on getting in as much wing practice as possible.” That earned a few soft chuckles from some of the others in the chariot.
“I can’t believe I actually missed you,” Thomas deadpanned.
“Aww. Don’t pout. How about I buy you some cotton candy when we get to the stands?”
“I don’t think overpriced stadium food is good for me right now,” Thomas replied, a hand over his stomach. It was like his organs were confused over which way gravity was supposed to be pulling them.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Surprise argued. “Stadium food’s part of the experience. That’s why I’m getting a full course meal!”
“I think I’ll wait to see what they have, but I’ll probably have some popcorn and a soda at least,” Moonlight added. “Are you sure you don’t want anything, Thomas?”
“Probably nothing,” he replied a little queasily. “Somehow, flying a thousand feet in the air kills a guy’s appetite.”
“Same,” Honey agreed.
As the group of friends chatted away, attempting to aid and taunt those who weren’t as adaptive to the altitude, Jet kept her golden eyes peeled for danger. No recent threats had been made, and she’d already gone over Cloudsdale’s security plans several times with Moonlight. While the layout for the patrols seemed adequate, the bat mare found it rather suspicious that there seemed to be an excessive number of guards stationed directly beneath the stadium. She’d brought this up with her superiors, and even they didn’t have an explanation. Realistically, any mildly competent plan was more likely to come from above. Something wasn’t right. And in her gut, Jet had a suspicion that Thomas was somehow involved.
The group’s chariot came to dock in Cloudsdale’s southern port, along with several others. Culturally, the Young Flyers’ Competition was mostly of interest to pegasi. However, their friends and a few ponies of note were also known to make an appearance, in part just to be seen. The Princesses were two such ponies. They’d flown ahead in a separate and much better-guarded chariot. Given that this event was a chance for the upper crust to mingle with royalty, the royal sisters had each brought only a single concubine with them for stress relief. The rest were free to attend or not as they saw fit.
After a too-long pause, Surprise was the first to hop out of the chariot. Her hooves clopped against the wood of the dock. “See. They added wood over the construction clouds so you guys’d be more comfortable.” She began bouncing in place to prove how sturdy it was, paying no mind to the effect on her very large and very exposed chest pillows. Slightly envious of the display, Talon set down beside her to join in the reassuring bouncing.
With help from Moonlight, Thomas stood up and carefully set foot on the platform. It creaked, as wood does, but felt reasonably solid. It took a little more work to get Honey out of her seat, including aid from the escort ponies. When all had disembarked, the group thanked the chariot pullers before they flew off for another pickup. Jet took up position behind the group while the other two escorts flew off to their next assignments, but not before Surprise waved a vehement ‘goodbye’ and ‘thank you’ as they went.
Down on all fours, because she didn’t yet trust herself to stand, Honey carefully tested the wood beneath her hooves and hands. “Please tell me somepony has the tickets. ‘Cause Ah really don’t wanna have ta go back if we fergot ‘em.”
“Got ‘em!” Talon said as she extracted the paper slips from her fanny pack. “Says we’ve got a few hours before the show starts.”
“Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oho-oh!” Surprise’s bouncing was even more frantic than before as she waved her arms about. “You know what we should do?”
“Well, we definitely shouldn’t take a tour of the city,” Talon said matter-of-factly. The sound of glass shattering could be heard as Surprise’s expression turned crestfallen. Poor thing looked absolutely devastated. “I mean, this is the first time visiting this place for a lot of us. It’s not like it’s a natural compulsion to want to go and explore new things. Not to mention there’s a tourist stand right over there, which is super inconvenient.” She pointed. “Looks like they’ve got maps, which I’ll bet a million bits have all the big touristy attractions circled, and,” she blocked the sun over her eyes to get a better look, “probably sell tour guide services, too.”
“Tour guide? Tour guide!? You don’t need no stinking tour guide!” Surprise snapped. “I mean, not to disparage the guys. Its honest work, and they’re really good at it, but you don’t need them when you have-”
“You’re right,” Talon agreed, cutting the white mare off. “We don’t need to pay a guide with me here.”
Surprise blinked, seeming to perk up just a little. “You’ve been to Cloudsdale before?”
“Sure have. And to be nice to our skysick friends,” she gestured to the tallest and shortest members of their group, “I can show us all the quietest, most boringest cool spots this city has to offer. If we’re lucky, things might get so boring we even kill a few brain cells.”
Surprise, distraught beyond words, fell to her knees and threw her hands up in the air. “Nooooooo-” she paused to inhale, “-oooooo-”
“You know she’s joking, right?” Moonlight cut in.
“Just give me a minute,” Surprise said before taking one last inhale. “-oooooo! Okay. I’m good.” She then stood up, gleeful as a kitten in a yarn shop as the others stared slack-jawed. “Where should we go first?”
Talon whispered in Moonlight’s ear. “Was that serious, or was she just playing along?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Moonlight admitted a bit fretfully. “It’s hard to tell with her.”
“The museum’s a good place to start,” Surprise piped up, either ignoring or not hearing the gossip about her as she held up a recently purchased map. “It’s one of the closest touristy hot spots, aaand it’s all indoors. Says here that helps first-time wingless ponies adjust.”
“Ah’ll take it!” Honey agreed, still looking a bit out of it.
“This is gonna be super fun. I can’t wait to show you guys the place I grew up.”
With their destination set, the group checked in at customs before heading into the city. Looking around, Thomas marveled at the floating city. As depicted in the show, there was a heavy Greco-Roman influence on the architecture with lots of columns, open-spaced buildings, and a general sense of rigidity. Of course, about 90% of everything was made up of clouds, giving the city a predominantly white and pale blue coloration. It was all rather lovely to look at. The group stuck to the main roads, which were made from a concrete-like material, although none of the wingless members cared to clarify if they were walking directly on clouds or not. That was just an unnecessary piece of information.
Surprise took a deep inhale and gave a contented sigh. “Ahh. Good to be back.”
“How long’s it been?” Talon asked.
“Oh, just a few months. Less than a year. I left right before applying for the harem position.” She went back to marveling at her surroundings. “It’s good to see the old neighborhood hasn’t changed.”
“Does it ever?” Moonlight asked. “I heard pegasi are very protective about their architecture. Many of these buildings are Pre-Unification, right?”
“Oh yeah. Clouds are pretty fluid and easy to work with. Still, pretty much everything outside the residential districts is the same as it ever was: proud and enduring,” she finished with a bit of nationalistic zeal.
“Which is kind of odd when you think about it,” Thomas spoke up. “Normally, when you think wings, you think freedom and doing whatever you want.”
“Oh, we do that too,” Surprise corrected. “But… Actually, never mind. The museum says it better.”
“An’ what about these trees?” Honey asked. Lining the edges of the roads were rows of trees the likes of which the earth mare had never seen before. They seemed unusually skinny for how tall they were, and the leaves formed a sort of umbrella instead of simply bunching together. “What species are they?”
“Cloud trees,” Surprise answered a bit uncomfortably. “They’re also explained in the museum.”
Honey scrunched her face in concern. “Is there a problem?”
“Not the proudest part of our history,” Surprise began. “See, before the tribes were even united as tribes, there was a lot of fighting between the clans. Pegasus ponies were always trying to get the leg up over each other. So one day, Captain Typhoon got the idea that even though us flyers are naturally adjusted to these altitudes, our… slaves,” she almost whispered, “weren’t. They could barely breathe, let alone work. And even though it was an unpopular choice at the time – again, we’re not big on changing our buildings – she ordered that some of the ground be brought up into the sky so that we could do our own planting. Although they hoped this plan would give them the ability to have their own private farmland, most of the plants ended up dying. It took decades of earth ponies and unicorns working together to breed a few species that can only survive up in the clouds. The seeds aren’t edible, though, and they’re pretty much entirely dependent on their gardeners to care for and pollinate them. But they do make the air nicer and add a bit of color to the place. And,” she trailed off a second, “they made it easier for the slaves to work.”
Armed with a better understanding of the trees’ history, Honey took another, closer look at the lines of foliage. She gave a short laugh. “Heh. Even when we was at each other’s throats, we still did some amazin’ things.”
Surprise beamed brightly, relieved, and pulled the big green mare into a hug.
At long last, the group arrived at the ‘Museum of Pegasus History.’ Tickets were cheap, and, luckily enough, they’d arrived just in time to join a tour group. Again, Thomas noted the pervasive Greco-Roman style in the pieces. Most sculptures were made of stone instead of cloud, and the paintings were obviously made from traditional paints as well. As befitting the style, most pieces were exercises in realism, with the artist attempting to perfectly capture the visage of the moment before the advent of photography.
The guide explained that portraits depicting birds-eye views were a unique pegasus style. It demonstrated the enormity of the settings, but mostly was an exercise in pegasus vanity in how they wished to show off a perspective that only they possessed. Thomas, having always loved history, fictional or otherwise, was hooked. Generally, he was less moved by the actual pieces than the stories around them. After all, what was history, if not the most enduring of stories?
When they reached the hall labeled ‘The Forgotten Era,’ the guide went on to explain that pieces here either dated back to or depicted the times before Pre-Unification. This meant that the youngest artifact in this hall dated back no earlier than 9,000 P.U., which got fewer chuckles than expected. Artifacts were the standard fare of basic stone tools with equally standard theories around how they might have been used. Of greater interest to most were the paintings showing artistic representations of that time.
Before writing was commonplace, pegasus oral history boasted being the first to recognize the power of forming groups and communities, although that part continues to be debated among historians. In the pegasus version, it began when a young and daring mare named Fyre Fly gathered her friends together with the intent of creating a small twister for them to ‘surf’ on. As Thomas had speculated, these were the days when the pegasi prioritized freedom above all else. However, when the ‘crafty and duplicitous’ unicorns – said with actual air quotes – caught wind of what the pegasi could do in groups, they quickly organized to imitate and surpass them. It worked.
Before long, unicorn clans dominated the ancient lands, sending the pegasus and earth pony tribes scattering in fear. In addition to their command over weather magic, pegasi outnumbered unicorns by a considerable margin. However, those early pegasi were too whimsical to capitalize on their advantages. It wasn’t until the rise of a second Fyre Fly – the supposed granddaughter of the first – that things began to change. Infamous for her impatience and pension for brutality, Fyre Fly the second gathered a group of followers and appealed to the clan leaders. Although it went against their nature, the pegasus ponies needed to fight back if they wanted to survive. Of those who refused this offer, most were personally beaten into submission by Fyre Fly herself, while a few managed to escape.
It was from this great mare that the first martial traditions of the pegasus ponies were born. They flew in tight formations, mimicking the migration of birds for maximum aerodynamics. This also helped conceal their numbers in the sky before they were ready to attack. And while the brutality of many of these early attacks led to lots of initial failures, Fyre Fly and her daughters learned from their mistakes, perfecting their strategies until all unicorns learned the importance of always keeping one eye on the sky. That last line was said with an air of pride that seemed to be mirrored in the expressions of the other pegasus ponies in the tour group. From then on, only the more militaristic pegasus ponies persevered, leaving the rest to fade into history.
“Yes. Did you have a question?” the guide asked of one from the tour group.
“This might be a little off-topic,” Honey began, “but what’s that about?” She pointed at a display case on the wall with a stone slab inside. Protruding from the ancient rock were the bones of a creature both familiar, yet foreign.
“Ah. I’m glad you noticed!” The guide’s face practically lit up as she spoke. “This is one of our newest exhibits, one of many treasures procured from the most recent expedition into the old pony homelands. You see, for centuries, one of the biggest sources of controversy among archeologists were these depictions of ancient ponies.”
Besides the display of the skeleton were rows of similar stone slabs, but with cave paintings. The drawings were primitive, but showed a good amount of detail with pictures showing the many feathers on birds, or the labor of love for drawing the hundreds of individual leaves on a fruit tree. However, the paintings directly beside the skeleton were clearly the focus of the guide’s lecture, for they showed two very different ponies standing side-by-side.
“Originally,” the guide continued, “these were thought to be an early example of artistic license. The ancient tribes had little understanding of the magical forces of nature, and so invented stories of great spirits that moved the heavens, made the flowers grow, and so on. Pictures like these were largely dismissed as a fable about the origin of ponies. However, skeptics insisted that the consistent elements of these stories across the still divergent tribes suggested that these were more than mere imaginings of cave ponies. And that’s why skeletons like these are making such waves.”
As the group stepped closer, they saw a bronze placard beneath the exhibit. It had the standard details about who discovered this slab and where. What caught Thomas’ eye was the illustration of what the skeleton would look like standing upright. There was no way to see this ancient creature as anything other than a pony. It had hooves, paleontologists had found evidence that the tails, fur, and even ears were the same, and even the skull was almost identical to a modern pony skull. The difference was, if the illustration was to be believed, that this creature was a quadruped and little more than a meter tall. And, just like the image in the cave painting, the illustration on the placard showed this ancient pony creature standing knee-high alongside its modern counterpart.
The guide went on. “These are the oldest intact skeletons ever discovered. However, they don’t appear to be significantly older than most of the other exhibits in this section.” She gestured to glass cases housing stone tools.
“What does that mean?” Moonlight asked.
The guide chuckled a bit nervously. “Well, the working theory is that some event must have happened in those ancient times that caused a rather sudden transformation among ponies. This might have been a form of wandering primordial magic, but no pony can say for sure. What we can say with some certainty is that once this modern form of bipedal pony appeared, our quadrupedal ancestors disappeared soon after.”
“Where did they go?” Surprise asked, somewhat naively.
“Well, that’s also a matter of some debate,” the guide replied. “One need only look at the physical differences between the two to see how much stronger the modern pony was. Just like with Fyre Fly having the strongest ideology, the strongest species beat out their weaker cousins. In all likelihood, even if they weren’t overly malicious, they ended up muscling the others out of the best places for food until the quadrupedal ponies had nowhere else to go.”
“That’s so sad,” Surprise bemoaned.
“Nature was very harsh in those days, and ponies had to be just as harsh in order to survive. However, what I said is still just one of several theories,” the guide elaborated. “Other researchers cite additional paintings like these,” she motioned, “to say that bipedal and quadrupedal ponies might have coexisted relatively peacefully. Some even speculate that, depending on the nature of this transformation, the two subspecies were still biologically compatible. According to them, we’re actually the descendants of both subspecies coming together, in addition to the unification of the three tribes.”
Jet, skulking in the back, managed not to roll her eyes.
Thomas, however, let his eyes linger on the cave painting. The bipedal pony was facing the viewer while its quadrupedal companion was sideways, facing the biped. In Thomas’ mind, he imagined the artist wanting to emphasize the difference between the two. Looking closer, it appeared that the quadruped was staring up at the biped. He wondered if this was meant to represent curiosity, reverence, or even fear. The biped’s pose was perfectly passive. She – based on the breasts – was just standing there, allowing herself to be looked at.
Was this deliberate? Was the artist trying to convey the uncertainty around these new creatures, even among themselves? The theories explained by the guide suggested that these new beings may have just appeared out of nowhere. If so, they probably didn’t know what to do with themselves any more than their shorter cousins.
While Thomas agreed with the hypothesized fate of the quadrupeds, given that it was simply natural selection at work, he wondered how things were in the beginning. Both illustrations appeared to be earth ponies. Did they recognize that about each other? Did the quadrupeds absorb their bipedal cousins into their tribes, initially embracing them as equals, conscripting them into their wars? What if they were cast out? What if the tribal conflicts left the quadrupedal ponies so xenophobic that they turned to violence against the larger and stronger bipeds? Maybe the bipeds picked up on that xenophobia and started fighting amongst themselves instead of uniting against the quadrupeds. There might have even been a six-way war between the tribes at some point.
Or maybe the wars didn’t start until after the bipeds showed up? If Thomas was following the line of events correctly, it seemed like the quadrupeds might have predated things like named figures and the more complex tools. Maybe the quadrupeds were little more than passive prey animals whose only response to danger was to run away and breed to make up for their losses? And maybe the bipeds overcompensated with their newfound strength and started actively resisting the dangers of nature and aggressively competing with one another? It was a successful strategy, given that their descendants lived to wonder about their past, but it was also rather grim how cruel nature often was. Maybe the ponies thought the same, which motivated them to start taking control? It was hard to say.
Whatever the case, Thomas decided that archeology and paleontology were very interesting subjects, and that he ought to delve deeper into both.
The tour went on, but everyone’s minds lingered on the Forgotten Era exhibits.
“Ya know, Ah always heard we was related ta horses, but Ah don’t think it ever really clicked with me ‘til jus’ now.” Honey gave her hands a thoughtful look, flexing her fingers. “How could they do anythin’ without hands?”
“Well, they must have been able to do something to survive,” Surprise offered.
“Besides running away?” Talon asked.
“No. Well, yes, but I actually mean they must have bucked a lot.”
The griffon furrowed her brow. “How do you figure?”
“Think about it. If we were walking around on all fours all the time, then plots would basically be at eye level, or within a few inches.” Surprise lifted her chin high as her expression seemed to overflow with pride for her clever reasoning. “Ain’t no pony can resist that kind of temptation for long. And with tomorrow being so uncertain, nothing else to do but live it up today.”
A long, pregnant pause followed, broken by the griffon’s squawking laugh.
“You’ve got me there!”
“And that makes sense, how?” Moonlight demanded.
“Her argument is based on the sexiness of pony plots,” Talon intoned with a scholarly inflection, which sounded very similar to having clogged sinuses. “Such logic is irrefutable.”
“Unless growing up like that just results in exposure therapy,” Thomas spoke up. “Think about it. It’s just like when I first came here and got really awkward around all you nudists. Months later, and I think I’m mostly over it, even though I’m already on eye level with most of your butts.”
“This, too, is irrefutable logic,” Talon agreed. “And now I’m bummed at thinking I might actually go numb if I had pony butts in my face all the time like that.”
“Speaking of which, was there anything about griffons going through something similar? Like, were you guys ever quadrupeds?”
Talon raised an inquisitive brow at the human. “You know, that’s a really good question.”
“Well, what do griffon stories say about your origins?” Moonlight asked.
“Don’t really know. Griffons aren’t usually the scholarly type,” she said dismissively, “and oral history doesn’t really reach too far past Discord’s reign. Pretty sure we came to Griffonstone from somewhere else, but no clue where or when.”
“Could they have come from the same place as ponies?” Thomas asked.
Talon shook her head. “Not likely, chimp. Griffonstone’s way on the opposite end of the map from where ponies came from, with Equestria smack in the middle.”
“So you’ve never tried to learn about your own past?”
“Like I said. Griffons ain’t the scholarly type. If it can’t make a quick bit of gold, most of us don’t even bother.” Her tone was contemptuous as she spoke of her own people.
“Ain’t most o’ these artifacts worth, like, millions o’ bits?” Honey asked leadingly.
“Yeah, but these are the results of successful searches. Most fail, ya know. So even if some rich griffon wanted to make a profit by plundering history, these kinds of expeditions are a pretty hefty investment for something that’s pretty unlikely to pay off. Plus, even if we did find something like four-legged griffon bones, most of the griffons I’ve met would just toss them aside on account of not being shiny enough.”
“And here I thought I was the pessimist,” remarked Thomas, hoping to lighten the wren’s dower mood.
“You are. I’m just being a realist.”
“Shouldn’t I be the realist as well?” asked Moonlight.
“Nah. You’re the nerd.”
Moonlight straightened up and held her head high. “I can accept this.”
“Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh! What about me?”
“Comic relief.”
Surprise pumped her fist. “Yes!”
“An’ me?”
“You’re the muscle who offers folksy wisdom.”
Honey shrugged. “Can’t complain.”
“All we need is the snooty bat butt, and we’d have the complete set.” With a wide grin, the griffon reached out her claws and grabbed for the lot of them, pulling all she could into a friendly yet aggressive embrace. Those out of her reach were also pulled in by the gravity of friendship. None resisted, and they all took a moment to revel in the feel of one another’s bodies, as touchy-feely ponies do.
Jet, as a professional, just watched from a safe distance. Whatever else she might have thought of this bunch, it was still nice to see friends being friendly.
***
At the conclusion of the tour, the group returned to the open air outside the museum. As Surprise had predicted, the wingless ones felt much steadier on their legs now that they could pretend they weren’t a thousand feet up from the splatty ground. Surprise and Talon took it in turns to pick sites for the group to see, although most of the time, they ended up picking the same spots but in a different order.
The Cloudsdale Weather Factory – spelled as a proper name because no other weather factory compared – was an obvious choice. It was comprised of multiple facilities specializing in the many different aspects of weather production and management. The whole thing was set up like a campus, with some buildings having smokestack towers belching out clouds of varying functions, while other buildings were focused on the more refined details, such as snowflake sculpting and rainbow mixing. All in all, the Cloudsdale Weather Factory took up about 20% of all space in the city and provided more than half of all jobs.
At least, that’s what the brochure promised.
The truth was that all facilities had been closed to tourists for the day.
“Why?” Surprise demanded. “The CWF always has tours.”
“Sorry, ma’am,” a disinterested mare said as she tapped a pen on her clipboard. She was a unicorn, yet wore the same pure white hard hat and jacket as the other employees. “There were some incidents with our last tour group.”
“Incidents?” Talon asked. “As in plural?”
The unicorn in white nodded. “Afraid so. I’m not clear on all the details, but some dumbass unicorn decided to give herself some wings and started flapping all over the place. Some errant weather got blown into the vents, and it’s causing some clogs. On top of that, we’ve got some extra dumbass employees who let themselves get distracted by this mare’s wings when they should have been focused on the very simple task of not dropping the delicate instruments they were carrying.”
Thomas blinked in quiet knowing. Most of the others groaned. Surprise face-palmed.
“Must’ve been some wings ta get this place shut down,” Honey awed, craning her head back to stare up at the towering building.
“Weather production has only been marginally hampered,” the unicorn in white clarified. “We actually keep plenty of finished materials in storage in case of problems like these. The managers are just on the warpath and don’t want any more tours until we figure out what went wrong and how to stop it from going wrong again.”
With a despondent huff, Surprise nodded her acquiescence. “I guess that makes sense. I hope everything works out.”
“Oh, it will,” the unicorn assured, almost boasting. “The CWF’s been around for centuries. It’s basically the oldest standing structure in Equestria. A few clogs and spills ain’t gonna bring her down.”
Thomas had to double-check to make sure the mare wasn’t actually a pegasus. That zealous pride certainly made her sound like one. Nope. She was still a unicorn, but likely one who’d been born and raised here in the clouds. Thomas liked this. It made him smile to see people take such pride in where they lived.
In the end, the group accepted that there’d be no CWF tour today, and went on to their next destination.
“Is it okay that she just told us the problems like that?” Thomas asked once they were well out of earshot.
“Sure. We’d just annoy her with questions until she gave in, anyway,” Surprise said with a mischievous smile. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Well, I guess humans would be super paranoid about giving out that kind of information. Like, it might create a negative opinion about the company’s standards, which could cost them money.”
“Wow. How can humans have so much fun and un-fun stuff?”
Jet’s ears twitched.
“I mean, you fly around in big metal cans that go super fast, but you don’t admit your problems?”
“Businesses don’t, no. For big companies, a lot of their money comes from investments, and investors are easily spooked by any kind of bad news. So companies usually have these specific guys to give carefully scripted messages to the press when anything goes wrong, saying only the absolute minimum possible while promising to fix whatever the issue is.”
“Sounds mighty dishonest.”
“Oh, it is.”
“An’ ya’ll jus’ put up with it?”
Thomas shrugged. “Generally, companies look after themselves before others. If there’s a problem, or even a perceived problem, that tends to cut into profits. They try to be as secret as possible. Of course, if they try to ignore a problem until after it causes a stink, that tends to cost them even more. It’s all a matter of perception. They have to look like they care while doing a minimum amount of work. Even when there’s only a perceived problem, they make these grandiose gestures to look like they’ve fixed something when really almost nothing changes.”
Talon folded her arms over her chest and clicked her beak. “I guess I can see that. It’s like how you want your neighbors to think everything’s fine so they don’t talk behind your back, only for big companies.”
“Ah certainly wouldn’t shop somewhere that tried lyin’ ‘bout a problem ‘stead o’ jus’ bein’ upfront ‘bout it.”
Moonlight nodded. “Agreed. And if they have to do these big gestures to apologize, it just seems easier and cheaper to be honest from the start.”
“It’s a case-by-case thing,” Thomas explained. “They prefer to solve things as quietly as possible. But if there’s a problem that can’t be easily swept under the rug, most companies go the honest route. Like if there’s a case of some food having some kind of disease. The whole product gets pulled from the shelves until the company gets everything sorted.”
“As they should.”
Surprise shrugged. “The CWF doesn’t really have that problem, though. Just about everypony here has worked there at some point. We know how it goes,” she said frankly. “Sometimes problems just happen. When they do, we pegasi stick together until we see it through.” She shook her fist in a gesture of pride. “Then we stay stuck together, ‘cause it can get cold up here, and ponies are warm and just plain nice to snuggle with.” For emphasis, she wrapped her arm around Moonlight’s neck and pulled her in for a half embrace, still walking the whole time. The orange mare offered only a token resistance, proving Surprise’s point by relaxing into her touch.
Jet tuned out after the conversation switched to other, non-human-centric topics. She’d learned a little about how the human mind worked, which was satisfying. Humans were deceptive whenever they could afford to be, and honest when there was no choice.
***
There was the occasional monument here and there. However, based on the brochure, it seemed like most of the tour was meant to be taken up in the CWF. With little else to see, the party decided to head for the stadium early. The stadium was much like any other, made of the same cloud-stone material as most other structures for the convenience of non-flyers. What distinguished this stadium from others was the giant hole in the center, which apparently allowed the participants greater freedom of movement. Behind the stands, ponies were bustling about, either rushing to their seats, or standing in lines for concessions.
“Ah think Ah’m finally ready ta eat,” Honey announced. “How ‘bout you guys.”
“Oh yeah! Bring on the hay burgers!”
“I’m gonna look for somewhere with genuine meat,” Talon informed. “You with me, chimp?”
“Meat sounds good. Sure.”
“I think I’ll stick with a hay dog and soda,” Moonlight added. “You guys get what you want, and I’ll go hold down our seats.” Then she said directly to Talon, “Take care of him.”
The wren saluted.
Their game plan set, the group split.
Thomas and Talon went in search of their coveted meat, with Jet trailing not too far behind. Every now and then, the wren would peer over her shoulder and give the little mare the stink eye.
“I don’t trust her.”
Thomas didn’t want to be rude, but he knew the wren wouldn’t stop until he engaged. “Such seems to be the popular opinion.”
“No. You guys don’t like her. I’m talking about trust. Big difference.”
Thomas pursed his lips. “You know she can hear you, right?”
“Oh, I do,” she responded matter-of-factly. “Aside from you, she’s been staring at my fine plot the most.” She rolled her rear and gave it a seductive shake. “Shows she’s got a good eye for assessing threats, which I can respect.” Talon craned her neck back and, in blatant contrast to what should have been possible for beak cartilage, made patronizing kissy faces at the bat guard.
Jet just stared back blankly.
“See? Nothing. Any other guard would’ve at least cracked a grin, but not her.”
“She probably just takes her job real seriously.”
“Yeah.” Again she looked back at the bat mare, giving an expression that seemed to ask: But what job?
Jet remained unresponsive, but the message was received.
Having made sure they were all on the same page, at least, for the most part, Talon switched back to a more pleasant topic. “So, chimp. How do ya like Cloudsdale so far?”
“It’s pretty wild. I really love the look of the place. You’d think an all-white city would be hard to clean, but I guess there isn’t actually enough dirt to be much of a problem there.”
“Mh-hmm, true. And the ponies?”
Thomas shrugged. “Friendly enough. I kind of like the national pride all the locals have.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Don’t know why, though. It just feels good to see everyone loving their home so much. I’m pretty sure that’s a sign of a healthy civilization.”
Talon snorted. “Yeah. Probably. Not too much of that back in Griffonstone. Or Canterlot, for that matter. Canterlot’s not as bad as Griffonstone, though. At least the ponies don’t look sullen all the damn time.”
Thomas would have said more, but about that time, a familiar voice squealed, “Thomas and Talon!” Both halted in their tracks and turned to the source of the disturbance. The disturbing pinkness was doing everything in her power to disturb the peace, her thicc body bouncing as she ran in such a way that the eye could not help but follow. Her smile was so wide that the light reflecting off of her teeth was nearly blinding. She was distracting, at the very least.
Talon, having encountered this mare before, positioned herself in front of Thomas and braced for impact, a smirk upon her beak. She knew a tackle was coming. The pink one was fond of them, but the wren was confident in her ability to intercept. But before that could happen, a short black and purple blur ran ahead. It was fast, so fast that even Talon could barely track it. The blur jumped, tucked her limbs tightly to her body, ducked low, and spun right into the legs of the unsuspecting pinkness. Before she even realized what had happened, the pink one had face-planted with a mighty thud that shook the very ground beneath their hooves, talons, and feet.
“Ow!” Pinkie whined, lifting her head from the cloud stone. A distinct imprint had been left behind, but quickly repaired itself, like a pillow unfluffing itself. “What just happened?”
“You alright, girl?” Concerned, Talon hurried forward, leaned down, and helped the big mare up.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks, Tali,” Pinkie beamed, her prior tumble forgotten. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” Then she turned to Thomas. “You either. It’s been so long!”
Thomas, however, was immune to her cheer. Seeing Pinkie again only brought back memories of their last conversation. She’d talked about the ‘you-you,’ which he’d interpreted to mean him, that wasn’t actually ‘you.’ He still didn’t know what any of that meant, but the negative impression still lingered. He’d tensed the instant he recognized her, his blood running cold for reasons he did not understand. Even the sight of her and Talon being chummy did little to assuage his concerns. “Yeah. It, uh, has,” he forced himself to say.
“This is great news,” Pinkie declared, ignoring her tumble altogether. She didn’t even notice the dark blur from earlier circling around back behind Thomas. “Everypony else is here. C’mon! We should go say hi.”
“Chimp?”
Thomas stared back at Talon, suddenly anxious. The last time he’d gotten involved with the Mane Six, it had been quite the catastrophe. And though he knew what was to happen today wouldn’t be nearly as bad, it still left him unsettled. What if things happen differently? What if the wrong things happen, and it’s somehow on me to set them right? He’d made sure to tell Luna about what would probably happen today, and she’d assured him that steps had been taken. He trusted her, but his anxiety would not abate.
Worse, Talon wanted to see the Mane Six. Well, technically, just four of them, assuming the show’s depiction was being accurately adhered to, but they were still inseparably tied to his present negative state. He’d been able to put these thoughts out of his mind all day, committing himself to just being an observer to nothing bad happening, but that future was quickly slipping away. He didn’t want to deny Talon the chance to see those she’d apparently bonded with. Surely that would be selfish and rude, right? If only Moonlight were here. She’d either give him an excuse to leave, or ease his worries with her presence alone.
“Excuse me,” Jet spoke up from her proper place behind her charge. “Who are you?”
“Oh, hey there!” Pinkie exaggeratedly leaned her body to one side to peer around Thomas, ever-smiling. “My name’s Pinkie Pie.” She eyed the mare’s armor. “Oh, a new guard? Don’t worry. I know these guys, so we’re cool. Right, Tali?”
“Yeah. Cool.” Talon didn’t sound terribly convincing, her eagle eyes warily darting between the ponies and human.
“Pinkie Pie?” Jet’s eyes widened. “As in the Element of Laughter, Pinkie Pie?”
The pink mare made a flatulent noise with her lips. “Yeah, no. I’m not really into all that stuff. I mean, if I was gonna get stuck with an Element, Laughter really is the best one, but I’m still just Pinkie Pie, party planner extraordinaire!”
Jet blinked once, and then twice, processing how to handle this unexpected encounter. She’d just attacked a national hero. Was that illegal? Technically, she’d been doing her job at the time, protecting Thomas from suspicious strangers. Her heart sunk when she realized that no matter the legality of it all, her peers would be merciless in their teasing. The thought of which was enough to ruin her day.
Jet’s thoughts dwelled on the matter a moment longer, finding more reasons to be upset. The hero is here? Wait. She mentioned ‘everypony.’ Could all six of the Elements be here? And at the same time as the human? Having read the report on the ursa minor incident, she recalled the last time the seven of them were in the same location. As a devout believer in Destiny, Jet had a hard time seeing this situation as a mere coincidence. Regardless, she was still on duty, and there were protocols to follow.
“I beg your pardon for earlier. I didn’t realize that you and Thomas were friends.”
“Eh. No big. You’re just being a good guard. Speaking of which.” Pinkie’s head spun around. “Where’s Moonlight?”
“Saving our seats,” Talon informed, and her brow wrinkled thoughtfully. “Hmm, where are you guys sitting, exactly?”
“Nosebleed section.” Pinkie rolled her eyes, but held onto her optimism. “Rainbow kinda waited ‘til the last minute to tell us she was entering the show, so we were pretty late to the ticket booth. But it’s okay. We still get to cheer on our friends.”
Talon’s beak split into a wide grin. “Ya know, being concubines, we’ve got our own box seats in the VIP section. Those seats are pretty spacious, if ya know what I’m saying.” Her eyebrows wiggled suggestively.
Pinkie did know, and threw up her hands in celebration. “Yay! Friendship box.” She then leaned forward on her tippy hooves and planted a kiss on the corner of Talon’s beak. “You wait here. I’ll be back after I tell the others the good news.” And then she zipped away, disappearing into the crowd.
“Oh, there’s the meat vendor,” Talon pointed out. “Say, how about you run ahead and tell Moonlight the good news. Leave the food to me.” Her eyes then fell onto Jet. “I trust you’ll see him there without any trouble, right?”
Standing straight, Jet nodded. “You have my word.”
Thomas released the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. He smiled wide in gratitude to the wren. She’d read his discomfort and given him an out. Granted, the mares at the root of his discomfort would be sitting with him throughout the show, but at least he’d be with Moonlight and the others to offset things. He further rationalized the irrationality of his fears, that everything would be fine, and that maybe some exposure therapy might be just what he needed. Realistically, this was probably the best outcome for all involved. “I just remembered why you’re my favorite griffon.”
Talon scoffed. “As if there was ever any doubt. Now scoot.” She shooed him away. “I need to think of a way to get all kissy with Fluttershy that she’s comfortable doing in public, but will still freak you out.”
Chuckling softly, Thomas waved his goodbyes. “You do that.” And he departed.
Jet followed silently behind Thomas, noting his quickened pace and reflecting on his behavior up to now. He’d been awfully tense back there. At first, she’d assumed it was because a stranger was running at him, but they already knew each other. She’d read as much in the report. Yet, there didn’t seem to be anything that might explain the lingering tension in the human’s body. Was he afraid of Pinkie Pie, or even the other Elements? Only villains needed to fear the powers of Harmony, but maybe it wasn’t their power. Thinking harder, Jet recalled reading how Pinkie Pie had made some rather cryptic comments to the human just before they parted ways. Was that it?
The simplest solution was just to ask her ward directly, but that seemed to be overstepping her bounds. She was a guard, and guards didn’t needlessly intrude on the affairs of those they guarded. Guards managed their wards’ safety. And while the human seemed to be acting as though he was in danger, nothing about this situation made any rational sense. That’s when she remembered what he was.
Jet realized that he knew something, that he must have foreseen something. Something related to the Elements, either the artifacts or their pony wielders, had made him nervous. That would certainly account for the unusual patrols around the stadium. He’d told the Princesses, as he should, and they’d taken precautions. Yet this solution did not satisfy her. If he’d told the Princesses and they’d already taken the necessary precautions, then what was there to be worried about? Did he not trust them? Had he withheld something, some vital detail in his vision that the Princesses had not, could not account for? The thought of such treason left her angry, but she didn’t show it.
Wanting to be extra careful, she made to scratch her left ear. It was a harmless enough gesture. No pony would notice the way her fingers pressed onto the bump down in her ear canal. The tap didn’t actually do anything to the miniature crystal surgically embedded into her flesh. It merely got the attention of the pony listening at the other end. No pony noticed when she whispered, “Something’s wrong.”
Likewise, no pony but her heard when the male voice replied. “Standing orders still hold. I’ll keep watch.”
Jet snorted her relief. It was reassuring to know that somepony around here was acting in a reasonable manner.
***
Arriving in their private box, Thomas tried not to look anxious as he hurried to Moonlight’s side and embraced her. She felt the tension in his body and instantly knew something was wrong, but was cut off before she could inquire further.
“Talon’s bringing the Mane Six,” Thomas said. He clarified, “Pinkie, Fluttershy, Apple Jack, and Twilight.”
Jet noted the missing two.
Moonlight’s first reflex was to smile. Most of those ponies she either had positive or neutral feelings towards. But then she started putting the pieces together.
“They’ll be sitting with us for the show,” he said with a hint of defeat.
“Are you okay?” She gave him a squeeze, paying no mind to the bat mare watching them.
Thomas took deep, careful breaths before answering. “There’s no reason I shouldn’t be.”
Moonlight scowled. “That’s not a real answer.”
“It’s just four extra ponies. And Tali’s apparently really good friends with them, even Pinkie.”
Moonlight’s scowl deepened. She both heard and felt the difference when Thomas said the name. She wanted to tell him he didn’t have to put on a front, but reconsidered. He’d most likely resist, deny, and argue, which could escalate into a fight, and garner all kinds of attention that she knew he hated. Instead, she decided to take a page out of her dame’s book. “We’re going to talk about this later,” she avowed, “but for now, I’m here for you.”
Forcing himself to smile, Thomas reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. Without words, he tried to convey that this was exactly what he wanted, and hopefully needed.
It was only a few minutes later before Surprise and Honey returned with their hoard. Moonlight intercepted them at the door to take her share, and then she whispered. “Talon is bringing the Mane Six here, but Thomas is nervous about Pinkie. I’ll explain later. Just don’t let them sit together.”
The big mares nodded. They didn’t need to understand to follow the fundamental rule of the herd. Mares protected stallions.
When Talon finally arrived, there was nothing but smiles. She had a way of lightening the mood with her mere presence, for which all were grateful. Many hugs were had, a few hands were shaken, mostly Thomas’, and everything seemed fine. And then Surprise stepped between Thomas and Pinkie.
The two mares stared at one another for a solid minute, eyes crawling over the others’ bodies in fascinated scrutiny. Thomas was just as interested. Up close, with the exception of the wings and different colors, they were identical in terms of height, body shape, and even facial structure. It was like looking into a mirror. Even they seemed to think so, moving their respective left and right hands to touch one another and make sure this wasn’t some kind of trick. One leaned to the left while the other leaned right, staying in perfect synchronization the entire time. Thomas realized that the box had gone silent. All prior light chatter had ceased as the small audience beheld the sight of two mares who might’ve been twins meeting each other for the first time.
Stealing a glance at Twilight, Thomas wondered if she was concerned about some sort of temporal paradox, like how Doc Brown predicted meeting your other time self might cause a reality-ending explosion. That hadn’t happened, which was no small relief, but it got him wondering. Back when the show was still being developed, and old names from the previous generations were being repurposed, the white pegasus named Surprise was initially intended for the role of Element of Laughter. Did that matter here? Was a T.V. show’s development process in any way relevant to an entire world that was only kind of similar? Thomas had a sneaking suspicion that it might be, but couldn’t explain how, why, or what such a thing might mean.
Surprise was the first to speak. “Wow.” She looked her counterpart up and down once more, eyes crawling over her full figure. “You’re hot.”
“Hey!” Pinkie whined. “I was gonna say that.”
They even sounded alike. It was eerie. Thomas tried not to let his thoughts get too meta, lest fate be tempted to inflict a paradox upon them.
***
Fate, ever the nosy little bitch, looked up from her reading. Sitting alone in the void between realms, the anthropomorphic representation of causality heard well the thoughts of this human, this insignificant speck in the grand scheme of things. She scoffed. “I’ve got better things to do.” And she went back to reading, absently waving a hand in a manner precisely measured to ruin the day of some poor fool that had earned her wrath with his careless words.
***
Things finally settled after that. Pinkie was gently led to the opposite end of the box by Surprise. The pink one tried to resist, wanting to greet all those she considered her friends, but the white one gave her a stern look when no pony was looking. Usually, Pinkie’s boundless enthusiasm would not be so easily dissuaded, but there was something about this mare, something familiar. There was a sense of trust and understanding, as though they knew one another, had known one another for years; such was the depth of the bond she felt. From this strange knowing, Pinkie understood the seriousness of Surprise’s look and just let herself be guided. Thus awkwardness was avoided.
Jet, having watched the whole affair in silence, made a mental note. She wasn’t sure exactly what had happened, but it was definitely going in her report.
Out in the stadium, things were finally getting underway. “Fillies and gentlecolts,” the announcer began. He was a gray pegasus in sunglasses and appeared to be using a cloud as his podium, moving it about with gentle flaps of his wings. “Please rise and join me in welcoming our beloved Princesses Celestia and Luna!”
On cue, the two alicorns descended down from a cloud they’d been hiding behind. Both wore classy dresses matching their preferred color schemes and were each accompanied by a pair of their personal guards. They waved graciously to the cheering crowds as their wings helped them elegantly glide down to their private box. Said box had elaborate carvings etched all around it, mirroring some of the historical events depicted back in the museum. Once seated, they continued waving gently in acknowledgment of their adoring fans.
The crowd was in an uproar, everyone seemingly in a competition to out-scream the others’ adoration for the alicorns. Thomas took this all in with a grin. Though they were far apart, he tried to get a look at Luna’s face. He was sure their eyes had locked, if only for a second, and he swore he felt the appreciation she was exuding for all the love being sent her way.
Other ponies also sat in the extra super- duper private box. There was Silver, of course, and one of Celestia’s concubines that Thomas recognized but couldn’t name. Additionally, there were a number of other VIPs present. Before their departure, Luna had explained that these VIPs were not merely the elites among elites, or even ponies who had won their seats in a lottery. Such arrangements were common, but not this time. To sit beside a Princess during extended public events like these was not a privilege one could simply buy. Instead, one had to both hold the Princesses’ trust and have a proper sense of discretion.
As such, it was unlikely for ponies like Surprise ever to be the concubine on duty for such events. Likewise, the odds of most of the Mane Six being invited as guests were slim. The Princesses had needs, one of which being the ability to satisfy those needs without drawing unnecessary attention to themselves. Imagining the different sorts of commotion the Mane Six might cause if they were ever invited, Thomas chuckled.
The announcer went on. “Please welcome our celebrity judges for the Best Young Flyers Competition: The Wonderbolts!”
Six ponies dressed in Wonderbolt uniforms flew out over the stadium. They were color-coordinated with warm-colored manes on one side and cool-colored manes on the other. Trails of smoke extended behind them, making them look like jet fighters and giving the illusion that they were moving much faster than they were. The six flew about, altering their formation with perfect timing to perform some rather impressive feats. It all ended when the six flew in tight, looking like they were about to collide, only to split apart just as a colorful explosion burst from the center of their formation. That got the audience fired up something fierce. Three of the six flew off to parts unseen while the remaining Wonderbolts took their seats in what was presumably the judges’ box.
“And now,” the announcer continued, “let’s find out who will take the prize as this year’s Best Young Flyer!”
Finally sensing an appropriate pause, Thomas turned to Moonlight. “Do they just carry fireworks with them for stuff like this? I don’t think suits like that generally have pockets, do they?” He wasn’t much of an expert in aeronautics, but it seemed like pockets would create a lot of drag and compromise speed.
“Actually, no,” Twilight answered instead. “The key is the suits, themselves. You see, the Wonderbolt uniforms were originally designed as specialized combat gear. Using the friction of high speeds, they’re able to—”
“Borrr-iiing!” Talon interrupted. “No one’s here for a science lesson, Sparkle-butt. Just enjoy the spectacle.”
“I kinda want to know, too,” Pinkie chirped. “Something like that would really compliment my party cannon.”
“Yeah, me too. Think they make those suits in my size?” Surprise asked, gesturing down at her body. “Being able to make fireworks whenever I want would be so much fun.”
“I know, right,” Pinkie agreed.
Thomas chuckled at the pink and white pair, still doing their strange double act. Whether it was intentional or not was hard to say, especially given how these mares usually acted. Still, from a distance, Pinkie wasn’t so bad. She’d caught him staring a couple of times, making him look away. Each time made her just a little sadder, but Surprise was always there to perk her back up.
The first competitor flew out. Thomas didn’t know the names of the tricks being performed, but got the feeling that they weren’t terribly impressive. The stands were still talking. There wasn’t that tension of waiting for the ball to be hit as he’d experienced in other sports games. Ponies kept their volumes respectfully low, but no one seemed all that concerned about potentially breaking someone’s concentration or anything of the like. Thus in Thomas’ box, the chatter continued.
“Baltimare, huh?” AJ asked. She and Honey weren’t identical, but there were some hard-to-ignore similarities.
“Born ‘n’ raised,” Honey boasted. “We moved out to Canterlot when… Well, there’s no dancin’ around it. Ah got a hankerin’ in mah loins that only a Princess could make right.”
AJ giggled appreciatively for her fellow earth mare’s accent. “Ah’ve only ever gotten hankerin’s fer apple pie ‘n’ the like. What’s it like havin’ an itch that only a Princess can scratch?”
“Oh, crazy. There’s this need deep down in yer gut. Jus’ thinkin’ ‘bout it gets ya all hot ‘n’ bothered. At first, ya don’t really know what’s causin’ it, ‘til one day ya realize the hankerin’ only flares up whenever ya see pictures ‘f her royal moonness.”
“It’s like one of those old schoolyard crushes,” Surprise added, “only with a bit of cutie mark compulsion thrown in the mix.”
“That sounds downright insufferable,” Twilight observed. “How do you deal with it?”
“Bein’ next ta the pony yer fated ta love don’t hurt none.”
“Also eating together, hugging, kissing, using our tails to vie for supremacy,” Surprise listed. “Horn stuff, wing stuff, and what else?” She stroked her imaginary beard. “What else quells the fiery passion that burns deep within the loins of a love-struck mare?”
Spike slapped his hands over his ear flaps. “Why did I let you talk me into coming here?”
Twilight frowned. “You were trying to get out of chores, if I recall.”
“Well, I’m sorry, okay!” The drake turned to look at Thomas. “How do you put up with crazy mares all day?”
Thomas couldn’t help himself. “Oh, hello pot. Name’s kettle. Have we met?”
AJ blinked. “Ah didn’t catch all that, but ya’ll better not be talkin’ ‘bout me behind mah back.”
“Technically, they’re to your side,” Talon explained helpfully. “So no problems there.” Then she looked down at the yellow mare she’d been holding for several minutes now. “You’ve been awful quiet, Flutters,” she cooed, teasing the mare’s ear with her beak. “Makes me wonder if you’ve got something to say, but are just holding it in.” She made an avian coo, like a dove, causing the yellow mare to shudder. “Got something to say?”
This was probably more wrong than it felt. Watching the ‘innocent’ member of the Mane Six being teased by the more sexually aggressive griffon really ought to have set off some kind of red flag for Thomas. None of the other ponies from Ponyville seemed to mind, presumably because they were used to such displays. Talon never was the sort to keep her talons to herself, though it was somewhat jarring to think about Fluttershy willingly subjecting herself to this on a regular basis. Talon might be aggressive, but she knew when the squeamish types were being pushed too far, which meant that Fluttershy was more than likely into it. Thomas thought about what the wren must have subjected these mares to in order to make them numb to such things. At the moment, he was suffering from his train of thought coming to a screeching halt as he pondered in regards to what were acceptable public displays of affection for ponies. Still, just to be on the safe side, he covertly crossed his legs and hoped no one would notice.
“W-well,” Fluttershy finally spoke up in that perpetual whisper of hers. “M-maybe the way to quell the eep!” She jumped, nearly right out of her seat. No one saw what had happened, but Talon was clearly the guilty party. “The hankering,” she blurted hurriedly. This needed to be said before another surprise pinch could be administered. “She, um, j-just needs to, um…”
Talon then whispered in the butter-yellow mare’s ear. Even as close as they all were, the ambient sound of the crowd’s voices was enough to drown out her words.
*Pomf*
“Ow!”
That was the sound of Surprise getting a wing boner and smacking Pinkie upside the head.
Despite also having a winged mare’s ears, Jet was reciting multiplication tables under her breath, allowing her to maintain her dignity despite hearing such shamefully lewd suggestions in public.
Fluttershy’s fidgeting ceased. She grew calm, serene, almost as though she’d attained some great enlightenment. A grateful smile was given to Talon before her attention returned to the attentive audience. “I was just going to say that sex seems like the best way to scratch that itch,” she said without a hint of hesitation. And she turned back to Talon. “That’s a promise, right?”
Triumphantly smirking, the wren pressed her beak to the pegasi’s snoot. “Just try and stop me.” And they shared a giggle.
Spike shook his head. “I don’t know, and I don’t wanna know.”
“Yeah, you’re definitely too young for that kind of stuff,” Surprise agreed. Then she looked over at Thomas. “Probably you, too.”
“Hold on,” Honey cut in. “You sayin’ that after all the crazy stuff we’ve been doin’ together, this is where you draw the line?”
Surprise nodded, and the box went deathly silent. Even those not in the harem had a rough grasp of what went on behind closed doors. It was the theoretical understanding that there were exotic acts so rare and unusual that one might have to pillage old tombs just for a clue. These were the sort of things that were supposedly common in the harem, and yet this concubine had just declared that whatever she’d just heard sounded extraordinary. Talon had said this thing, and Fluttershy had somehow been comforted by it. With this in mind, it was little wonder that the rest of the box’s occupants decided to give the kinky pair their space.
“Anyway,” Twilight spoke up, trying to put her imagination to rest. “About the uniforms. Pegasus magic is like earth pony magic in that it’s mostly passive, but focused through a channel like unicorn magic. In this case, pegasus wings actually enable them to move at speeds that would normally be impossible thanks to air friction. The uniforms are designed to basically catch the friction as it’s magically discarded and store it. If I recall correctly from my research—”
“Which she definitely will,” Spike cut in, much to Twilight’s annoyance. She shot him a raspberry, and he retaliated with equal maturity.
“There are actually triggers sewn into the suit, allowing the wearers to focus the accumulated friction into different storage pouches, which can be specialized for different functions. An explosion equivalent to fireworks is pretty standard, but in the olden days, they were weaponized to do all sorts of things.”
“Like flinging at your enemy,” Talon chimed in. “Last thing you want is to be hit by a burst of concentrated air friction. Wing magic can’t compensate and, well, let’s just say it’s not a pretty sight.”
“Even less pretty if the suits aren’t up to quality,” informed Surprise. “I wasn’t there at the time, but a buddy in the guard reserves once told me about some counterfeit Wonderbolt suits some crooks were trying to sell. When the bust went down, and guards stormed in, one of the crooks had the bright idea to use one of the phony suits to try and fight back. She wasn’t too bright, but that’s probably what saved her. See, you need to do, like, a lot of high-speed flying to build up enough of a charge to do anything useful. She forgot that part. So when the suit’s cheap parts broke down, and the blast ricocheted back at her, it only caused minor damage.”
“I heard about that,” whispered Fluttershy. “Ponies said she was lucky her wings weren’t,” she hesitated, “torn off.” All winged ponies in the box squirmed, as did many of the wingless ones in sympathetic pain.
“So where’s Rarity, anyway?” Talon asked, her avian head swiveling around.
Twilight gave a guilty laugh. “She’s, uh, actually competing.”
“What, really? I thought she was a unicorn.”
Pinkie giggle snorted. “Hehe-haha. When we decided to come up here to cheer Rainbow, Twilight forgot about the cloud stone for us ground ponies. So she was about to give us all magic wings, but only made it to Rarity before Fluttershy reminded everypony about the,” she bounced in her seat, “you know.”
Twilight groaned, suffering the humiliation of having actually acted on her enthusiasm to practice pegasus-oriented magic.
“Is that legal?” asked Moonlight. “Because it sounds like outside interference.”
“That’s what Ah said, but the mare at sign up didn’t seem ta mind,” agreed AJ.
Then Fluttershy added, “Rarity’s wings look more like butterfly wings than pegasus wings, so it’s pretty obvious that they’re not natural. Not that they don’t look lovely,” she hurriedly amended, looking at Twilight. “I didn’t really understand all that was said. Sports aren’t really my thing. But I think they’re only letting Rarity participate as a courtesy for her being an Element Bearer, so she won’t actually win anything. It’s sad, but I guess it’s fair.”
Talon scowled. “They let a unicorn compete in a pegasus competition, but you guys still got stuck with nosebleed tickets?”
AJ shrugged. “Some things fame can’t fix, as it shouldn’t. When yer late, yer late, ‘n’ that’s jus’ the way it is.”
Several competitors had made their flights in the last few minutes. Some were clearly better than others, and Thomas had a rough idea of which were which. The judges barely moved, saying nothing, and overall giving no indication regarding their opinions on each individual performance. The audience was much more vocal on which flyers they liked. There wasn’t any booing on the disliked ones, but the cheering was a lot quieter. Thomas kept his eyes mainly on the performers, but the bulk of his attention was on his box mates and the things they were saying.
“So what all has been going on in Ponyville?” Moonlight asked. “We read about the big disasters in the papers, but that can’t be all that happens, right?”
“I wouldn’t say we’ve had any big disasters,” Twilight offered. “At least, none recently. Mostly it’s just been regular everyday stuff you do in a small town.”
Moonlight motioned her to go on. “Example?”
“Well, Rarity put on a fashion show for our Gala dresses.”
“I read about that,” Surprise chirped.
“Hey, me too,” agreed Pinkie, looking a bit sheepish. “Hoity Toity said he was convinced that the dresses in the first and second show were made by two totally different ponies, which was kinda right.”
“Kinda?”
“Rarity made the mistake o’ lettin’ a bunch o’ fashion idgets tell her how their dresses should look instead o’ trustin’ her instincts,” AJ explained sternly.
Moonlight puzzled. “Wait. I thought you said they were your dresses.”
“They were,” was AJ’s curt reply. She appeared reluctant to make eye contact. “She won’t be makin’ that mistake again any time soon, Ah’ll betcha.”
“We maaaybe were a little bit micromanaging of Rarity’s work,” Fluttershy elaborated. “I mean, I thought I knew a little about sewing. I knit sweaters for my animals all the time. But I guess I’m not all that literate on styles that other ponies would like.”
“Honestly, that first show was painful to watch.” Spike’s lips were twisting about as he fought against his impending snicker. “Rarity did her best trying to meet the order, but when it came time to actually show them off,” he snorted, “a mare actually ran away screaming.” He slapped both hands over his snoot to muffle his giggles.
“Well, damn,” Talon replied flatly. “I’m sorry I missed that.”
“Were there pictures?” Thomas asked. “A fashion show made for Equestria’s heroes by one of the said heroes. If there was a story in the paper, then surely there were photographers.”
The Mane Six minus two all cringed at that unpleasant reminder.
“Oh-ho ho. This is gonna be good,” Talon chuckled, her nefarious plans set.
Fluttershy squeaked. The butter-yellow mare pressed herself up against the taller griffon, staring up at her with shimmering puppy dog eyes.
Talon flinched as though she’d been struck. “Oh, come on, babe. That just ain’t fair.”
Fluttershy said nothing, merely pressing her attack of cuteness.
“Ugh. Okay, fine! I won’t go snooping for pictures,” harrumphed the big bird lion.
Fluttershy gave another, happier squeak and wrapped her arms around the griffon’s middle, squeezing her with all her might, which was a lot stronger than most might expect.
“‘N’ what about you guys?” AJ fixed her gaze on Thomas, took note of certain changes in Moonlight’s body language, and gave a proud grin. “Any plans on expandin’?”
Thomas didn’t immediately understand what the farmer was talking about, but Moonlight did.
“Not especially. We haven’t really been looking.” Seeing AJ’s disapproving glower, she amended, “We’ll definitely find somepony someday. I really can’t imagine living in a herd of only two indefinitely. But for right now, we’re still pretty content.”
“Well, alright then,” AJ allowed, mollified for now. “Jus’ make sure ya get on that ‘efore the next time ya visit. Else Granny’ll talk yer ear off. Probably try ta set ya’ll up with Apple Bloom while she’s at it.”
“Apple Bloom?” Thomas questioned. “But… does she have her cutie mark yet?” Regardless of age, ponies aren’t considered real adults until they have their cutie marks, right?
“Not yet.” She missed Thomas’ relieved exhale. “She ‘n’ her friends ‘r’ still doin’ their Cutie Mark Crusader thing.”
Pinkie giggle snorted. “Hehe. They’re so funny. They try all these crazy stunts trying to get their cutie marks in, like, everything that’s a verb. Flower watering, hang-gliding, climbing the clock tower, discovering stuff that probably doesn’t exist, showering monkeys, and it almost always ends with them getting all sticky and needing heavy baths afterward.”
“Almost scrubbed Apple Bloom’s fur right off after that time they tried carriage washin’.”
Thomas frowned, writing off Pinkie’s comments as mere coincidence and focusing on AJ. “How do you get dirty washing carriages?”
The apple picker threw up her hands in exasperation. “Ah don’t know! One minute everythin’s fine. Then Ah turned mah back on ‘em fer two minutes – two minutes – ‘n’ the next thing Ah know… Ah still haven’t figured it out.”
Surprise giggled. “Maybe they should try getting their cutie marks in getting dirty.”
With lightning speed, AJ spun around and jabbed a finger right between Surprise’s eyes, fixing her with a menacing glower. “Don’t you go givin’ them ideas!”
“Yeesh. Sorry.”
“I’ve asked Spike to go along with them to try and mitigate the damage,” Twilight interjected. “But all that changed was more fillies and colts coming home with fire singed manes.”
“Hey, I proved to you that wasn’t my fault!” Spike countered. “It was all because of that cabbage cart. You saw it!”
Thomas chuckled, loving this exchange. These were some really great guys, and it was nice to see the two groups getting along so well. Even if he didn’t really feel all that included for not having much to contribute, it was nice to know that he was still welcome.
***
Up in the judge’s box, the Wonderbolts weren’t having such a fun time.
“Not really a good crop this year,” Misty Fly observed. What little of her fur could be seen was a soft yellow, and her two-toned white and arctic blue mane had fluffed itself out now that she was no longer speeding.
“Young flyers,” Soarin reminded. As one of the few male Wonderbolts, he had a tendency to sympathize with the underdogs. His fur was cornflower blue, and his mane, seemingly perpetually blown back, was a dark grayish-blue. “It’s not like we actually came here to recruit.”
“A good thing, too,” replied Spitfire in her scratchy, gravelly voice. She’d paid dearly for a lifetime of yelling at ponies. She didn’t mind, though. In a way, she treated the loss of her once elegant voice as a battle scar, something she’d earned by whipping ponies into shape, and therefore something to be proud of. Her fiery orange and yellow mane had also been permanently pushed back thanks to a lifetime of high speeds. “The average Wonderbolt washouts would put most of these ponies to shame.”
“I think there ought to be some kind of vetting process for contests like these,” Misty added. “The Young Flyers is a time-honored pegasus tradition for the up-and-coming to show their stuff. The flipping Princesses are here!” She gestured. “Ponies ought to at least pass some basic tests before they can compete, like racing.”
“You know, that’s not a bad idea,” Spitfire agreed.
“You guys are being unfair. Hey, like that last mare. The purple one with the black mane. She pulled off a barrel roll for a solid three minutes while navigating through most of the rings. That’s pretty impressive.”
“Most? Try less than half.”
“Is that so, Dizzy Spew,” Soarin teased. “Think you can do better?”
Misty fumed at the reminder of her nickname, but elected to keep silent.
Satisfied, Soarin turned to Spitfire. “I heard we got two of the Element Bearers competing this year. That should be interesting.”
“Isn’t one of them, like, a unicorn they’re only humoring ‘cause she’s famous?”
“Yeah, but Rainbow Dash should prove promising. I live in Ponyville, so I’ve seen her fly. She’s got quite the natural talent.”
“Didn’t you say she’s the mare that’s always napping?” Spitfire asked. “Nothing kills talent quite like poor discipline.”
“Well, yeah. Kind of.” Soaring sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “But I know for a fact she’s been training her flanks off for today. I’m sure she’ll give us a show to remember.”
“That’s what has me worried.”
Misty lifted her goggles to fix a quizzical stare on her superior. “Ma’am?”
“You saw the patrols they have below the stadium. More than twice what they usually have for a royal appearance. And most are positioned way, way down, like, almost ground level.”
“I actually spoke to one of the city guards about that.”
The mares turned to face Soarin. “And?”
“Well, she seemed just as confused. Normally, there’d be lifeguards just below the cloud level to catch anypony that gets injured and falls. But this time, it’s like they’re working with backward logic. Now the lifeguards at higher elevation are actually stationed pretty far from the stadium’s opening, but those directly beneath are, like you said, practically at ground level.”
“They’ve set up a cone instead of a proper net,” Spitfire concluded. “But why?”
“Get this,” Soarin added, now in a conspiratorial whisper. “The guard I spoke to. She didn’t have any proof, but there’s a rumor going around that the order came straight from the very top.” And he gestured at the royal box.
Spitfire snapped her head around, staring intently through her goggles at the ‘very top.’ “What are you planning?” she mumbled.
“Could this be Princess Luna’s doing?” Misty posited. “She’s still kind of new, hasn’t really done that much. Maybe she’s trying to bring back some ancient tradition to prove she’s relevant or something?”
“She definitely has that authority,” Spitfire agreed. “But I’m not so sure. If that was the point, you’d think she’d make a big show about it. ‘I’m doing this thing, and you’ll all love me for it,’” she said in mock imitation. “Instead, they’re being all hush-hush about it.”
“It could be the Elements,” Soarin offered. “Princess Celestia sees the future, you know. Maybe something’s supposed to happen involving the Elements, so the patrols had to be changed.”
Misty turned up her nose indignantly. “If that’s the case, if they’re trying to make sure something happens, or even stop something from happening – however future telling works – then wouldn’t we be let in on things? I mean,” she scoffed, “we’re the bucking Wonderbolts. We’re just as important as any old Elements.”
“If we weren’t told, then it’s because we weren’t supposed to know,” Spitfire realized. “If you’re right, and this is because of an Oracle prediction, then it’s probably dangerous for us to speculate. If we weren’t told, it’s because we’re supposed to act as if we don’t know, which is exactly what you’re ordered to do. Stop thinking about it, and whatever happens, just try to act like you normally would.”
“Uh, okay?” Soarin replied hesitantly. “Um, how do I do that?”
“For you, that’s easy. Just act like an overly sentimental ditz, and you’ll do great,” Misty answered, ever the helpful one.
Soarin’ had had quite enough. He turned away and folded his arms over his chest with the huffiest of huffs. “If that’s how you’re going to be, then fine.”
Misty didn’t like the sound of that. Had she gone too far? “Hey, big lug. Don’t be like that.”
“No. Nuh-uh. Nope. Until you start treating me better, I think I’ll just sleep in my own bed for a while.”
No one could see it behind her goggles, but Misty’s pupils narrowed to the size of pinpricks. “Wha-what? Y-you can’t be serious.”
Soarin stared at her out of the corner of his goggles and shot a devilish half-smirk. “Wanna bet?”
Spitfire did her best to tune out the quarreling couple. None of this surprised her. With how the Wonderbolts were stationed, many were required to spend weeks, or even months away from their families. It was only natural that half of them would end up sleeping with the other half. Sometimes the stallions would take advantage of their status as ‘hot commodities’ and leverage for favors. It was fine, so long as nothing got too outrageous, although it was rare for the ordinarily good-natured Soarin to do so. In a way, Spitfire was a little disappointed that he’d stoop so low.
However, the Captain of the Wonderbolts was too busy breaking her own rule to think about her regiment’s culture. She thought about the cone-shaped patrols. A net would catch anypony that fell almost instantly, but a cone increased the distance between the lifeguards and fallers by a significant margin. As Soarin said, it was operating on backward logic, deliberately allowing anypony that fell to drop a significant distance before they could be caught. Was that the point? Was somepony supposed to fall and have to wait to be saved?
The idea of the Princesses putting their subjects in needless danger like that didn’t sit well with Spitfire. That wasn’t how the Princesses operated, or at least, that wasn’t how Princess Celestia operated. Luna was still an unknown and left much of the military hesitant. But Princess Celestia always had a reason. Even if that reason wasn’t immediately apparent, she was a wise enough ruler to always have something planned; or so the general mindset of the masses believed.
No matter the case, Spitfire considered herself to be a loyal officer of the military. It was her sworn duty to follow orders and trust in her superiors. And, as a loyal soldier, she signaled one of the security agents to come over. To him, she wrote down a missive and asked that it be brought to the officer in charge of the stadium’s security. In it, she expressed her concerns with this abnormal and unexplained change in procedure. She also expressed her concerns that this might be the result of an Oracle’s prediction and that she wasn’t properly briefed beforehand. She requested either a meeting with the head of security, or a response offering reasonable assurance that there was a method to this madness.
***
Up in the royal box, the Princesses and those they trusted were not sipping exotic tea, nor were they laughing haughtily at something they knew not to be funny. And between the lot of them, only one pony actually wore a monocle.
“I say. That mare has quite the stunning figure,” Fancy pants openly admired. “So regal. So slender.”
Beside him, a regal-looking slender mare with white fur and a pink mane rolled her eyes. “You do have a type, don’t you?”
Fancy Pants’ eyebrow made an impressive climb up his forehead as he regarded Fleur de Lis. “Obviously.”
“I can’t believe you convinced me to come here,” grumbled a tan mare. Although it wasn’t immediately apparent by the maroon cloak concealing her back and most of her body, she was a pegasus. Her black and gray mane was also hidden beneath her bonnet. In contrast to most ponies, her most distinctive features were her clothes, rather than her cutie mark, tribe, or anything else typically Equestrian. Yet despite this, AK Yearling was still recognizable to any who took more than a second to look. “I should be doing research for my next book.”
“Research? Hah!” scoffed Blue Blood. “The last time you did ‘research,’” he said with air quotes, “you were hospitalized for nearly a month.”
Yearling snorted. “How I conduct my studies is no pony’s business but my own.”
“Have you given any thought to my offer?” asked Celestia. “I have plenty of candidates who are more than up to the task. Not to mention,” she leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, paying little mind to how loud she actually was, “plenty of handsome stallions.”
Yearling rolled her eyes. “Thanks, but no thanks. The last time I took on an apprentice, he betrayed me to Caballeron.”
“Oh, yes. Quite the tragedy that one,” Blue Blood sighed despondently. “Oh, not the betrayal. The fact that you left out the juicy part from your book.” If his smile were any slimier, it would have slipped right off his face. “Like how you found the pair of them in bed.”
“I will throw you over the edge, Blue Balls!” Yearling snapped, standing to her full height and nearly forgetting to keep her cloak closed. “Don’t think I won’t.”
Blue Blood merely laughed and stared back at her with his most insufferable of smirks. “Whenever is convenient for you; I’ll happily ‘throw down,’ if you know what I mean.”
Yearling was growling, motioning that she very much wanted to strangle the life out of the stallion. It took three other ponies to hold her back.
Luna turned a questioning look to her sister. “I was led to believe that there was an expectation of etiquette to sit by our royal sides.”
“Oh, there is. There absolutely is,” confirmed Celestia. “It’s just not as, well, strict as I might have let on.”
“Trust me, Your Highness,” Night Light said to the smaller Princess. “As far as royal box sittings go, this here is pretty tame so far.”
“And ponies say diamond dogs are crazy,” remarked the one diamond dog in the box. She was remarkably well-mannered for a bitch, and smartly dressed in a cyan blouse that complimented her beige fur rather well.
Luna’s scowl deepened as she faced the ensuing kerfuffle. Blue Blood had lifted his tail and waved it invitingly towards Yearling, enraging her further. This was followed by Twilight Velvet pulling the stallion into a chokehold and threatening to spank him. She was promptly shouted down by most of the box sitters, reminding her that Blue Blood would only take such repercussions as encouragement. He did.
“Why is everypony so loud?” Silver asked. “Is something happening out there?”
Trying to be discrete, Luna stuck a thumb down the v-neck of her dress, which fell well below the breast line. She pulled the dress out a short way and beheld the face of Silver. Luna’s magic made sure that there was no evidence of an entire other mare hiding beneath her dress, though everypony present had already guessed as much. The bat mare was panting heavily, not from heat, but overexertion. Once the little mare had taken her ‘seat,’ she’d acted much the same as a foal in the candy store. It was a testament to Luna’s training in the art of the poker face that no pony outside this box had any idea what was happening.
“Just the Crowns’ inner circle behaving like a bunch of ruffians who’ve had too much to drink.”
Silver giggled. “Shame. I almost wish I could see that.” She then extracted a water bottle from parts unseen and downed almost half of it in just a few seconds. “Ahh. That’s better. Now, if you will excuse me, I believe there are places that I have tragically neglected.” Her intent stated, she shimmied away and disappeared down into the fabric of the dress.
Celestia giggled. “Does she really not want to come out?”
Luna gave a despondent sigh, though her sister could tell what her true feelings were. “‘Tis as though I am enabling an addiction.” She then gave an almost-squeak when Silver reached her target, making her sister giggle again.
“Perhaps what she needs is somepony to help her control herself. If you’d like, during the next event, perhaps I could make myself,” she trailed off for an all too long pause, “scarce,” she finished with a surprisingly flamboyant eyebrow wiggle.
Luna had no idea how eyebrows could wiggle flamboyantly, but it was the first thing she thought of as she beheld the grand spectacle.
“What was that guy’s deal?” Spike gestured down to the pegasus that had just finished his routine. Like everyone else, he was having quite a time playing critic for the contestants. “He just did three loop-de-loops. Why even bother if that’s all you got?”
Thomas frowned. His default face was what he liked to think of as neutral, but this was definitely a frown. He’d barely even been paying attention to that last guy, but something about Spike’s words got his brain-hamster running.
“And he wasn’t even all that fast,” Fluttershy added. “I mean, not to be mean, I’m sure he did his best, but I think even I could have done that, and I’m the weakest flyer I know.”
Talon nipped at the yellow mare’s ear and gave her a squeeze, likely as punishment for dumping on herself.
Pinkie scrunched her brow. “Didn’t look like his head was in the game, like he was focused on something else. Poor guy. You only get to compete in the Young Flyers Competition once; then, you’re officially an old flyer.”
“Yeah. So sad,” agreed Surprise.
Then Moonlight added, “His heart definitely wasn’t in it. Looked to me like he just wanted to do the bare minimum and get it over with.”
“So I ask again. Why even bother?” Spike reiterated.
Thomas was busy puzzling over this very matter. Something about this situation was familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. The stallion was a plain brown with a dark brown mane and tail, and naked, of course. There weren’t really any other distinguishing features, and his cutie marks were too far away to see properly. Even so, Thomas had to agree with the others’ assessments. “So this competition is a big deal, but the guy was in a hurry to get it over with. And not in the anxious ripping off a bandage way, right?” Others nodded their agreement.
Puzzlement aside, this was actually fun. The experience was reminiscent of going to the movies and judging the previews with friends.
Jet was also inclined to agree, though she kept her mouth shut. Not everypony could be an ace flyer, but there was clearly something more going on. Thomas, if she was reading his body language correctly, was curious but not worried. Unfortunately, this didn’t prove or disprove any connection to his visions of whatever was meant to happen today.
“If this were one of our stories,” Moonlight began, “I think I’d have the guy infiltrate the competition by accident.”
“How so?” asked Talon.
“Well, I think I’d write that the guy is a spy or something. He came here to do a job, lost his way, and got roped into the competition purely by accident. He’s kind of a bumbling doofus. He doesn’t want to cause a scene by just leaving, so he puts on the bare minimum show so he can be dismissed and get back to whatever he’s doing.”
While the others smiled, laughed, and gave their thoughts on Moonlight’s rather impressive spark of creativity, Thomas stared at her in horror. “Oh, fuck.” His tone was more resigned than fretful.
“You say something?”
Jet had heard it, clear as day. She’d also seen the change in his demeanor, and so she leaned forward and whispered in his ear. “You just remembered something, didn’t you?” Her tone was borderline accusatory. Some in the box jumped, having completely forgotten the silent and unmoving mare until just now, but didn’t seem to hear what she’d said. Jet did not feel she was breaching any protocol, but this was something that needed to be said. “You just remembered something about your other job, didn’t you?”
As part of her prep for this assignment, Jet had done her research on Oracles. She’d concluded that those afflicted with the ‘gift’ were very frustrating to work with, something even the Oracles might agree. Visions had a nasty habit of being vague. Be it tea leaves, body signals, dreams, gut feelings, or any of the other forms that visions took, most of the time, they were difficult to decipher. Often premonitions were initially dismissed as nothing, only for the Oracle to pick up on some innocuous clue to show them otherwise. In such cases, when no pony was informed beforehand, it was often a race against time for the Oracle and their guardian to intervene to ensure the best possible future.
And Thomas, the Oracle she’d been charged with watching, seemed to have just spotted such a clue.
Thomas felt his skin chill, and he was suddenly self-conscious about sweating. He was glad that Jet had been so quiet. The thought of the others asking questions made his stomach tie itself in knots. The last thing he needed to compound his growing anxiety was the pressure of others depending on him. He had indeed remembered something. Had he remembered it earlier, he probably would have said nothing, because it was just so unlikely. There wasn’t even any proof that what he was thinking was accurate. Moonlight’s speculation was just that. It merely sounded similar to the scenario he was imagining. But if it was true, if this stallion was who Thomas thought he was, then the implications alone were both wonderful and horrifying in equal measure.
“Perhaps we should see the Princesses?”
Thomas, grateful beyond words for being saved from his own thoughts, smiled at Jet. “Y-yeah. We should, uh, definitely go do that.”
“Is something wrong?” Twilight asked.
“It’s nothing,” Moonlight intercepted. “Just some, um, harem business to take care of.” Having been close enough to hear and understand, she stood and helped Thomas hurry out of the box before the others could inquire further. She did pause to share a look with Talon, followed by a respectful nod. Moonlight trusted the wren to cover for them.
Back in the halls behind the stands, the orange mare asked, “What’s going on?”
“I think I just remembered some…” Thomas paused to look around. The halls were largely barren, save for a few ponies at concessions or in line for the bathroom. None seemed to be listening, but almost all were pegasi. Even if they didn’t mean to, they could eavesdrop. Yet Thomas had a sinking feeling that there wasn’t time to dance around the issue. “We probably need some kind of code word for Oracle business.”
Moonlight straightened her posture to military regulation, going into full guard mode. A million questions ran through her mind at once, most of which seemed like they’d just waste what could be precious time. So she settled for the military standard. “What do you need us to do?”
“Tell the Princesses.”
“Simple enough,” Moonlight acknowledged. Without waiting for permission, she picked up her stallion bridal style and began a brisk walk to the royal box. Wordless, Jet followed close behind. “Anything else you can share?”
“I, um, I’m not a hundred percent on this,” Thomas admitted with some effort. All this fuss was being made over something that could very well turn out to be nothing. “What you said before about the bumbling spy.”
“Yes.”
“Well, I think that you might be right.”
“The stallion is a spy?” Jet asked. “Who is he working for? Do you know his intent?” Another frustrating aspect of Oracles was the probability of false visions. Some predictions were just flat-out wrong. Sometimes an Oracle might mistakenly believe something to be a clue that a vision was coming to fruition, only to find out later that they’d misread the signals. Oracle guards weren’t privy to their charges’ accuracy ratings, told only to treat every prediction as more than likely and act accordingly. A few rare cases even found Oracles lying for attention, which always led to severe punishment. Thomas, Jet had to admit, was wise to assert his uncertainty. If this all turned out to be for nothing, that would likely protect him from any backlash.
“I don’t think he means to hurt anyone,” Thomas assured to the best of his uncertain ability. “I might be wrong, I’m hoping I’m wrong, but if he’s who I think he is, then he probably means to help with some big trouble heading our way.”
Thomas would have elaborated more, when all of a sudden a, pair of ponies came out of nowhere and crashed right into Moonlight. The mare and the other ponies were sent tumbling together, with Thomas along for the ride. The trio rolled along for a way before colliding with something very big, soft, and warm. Thomas, recognizing the texture and having a pretty good idea what they’d just run into, was already preparing a top-tier groan.
The human looked up past the vast hills of fuzzy roundness. With warmth radiating all around him, he looked up across the canvas of gray fur until he met with the pony’s eyes. They were unique eyes, to say the least. Both were yellow, one was looking straight at him, but the other seemed preoccupied off to the left. Her smile was friendly, as warm as the bosom pressed upon and around the diminutive human. Had Thomas not recognized her and what her presence here meant, he’d have probably smiled right back. She just radiated that much warmth.
“Hey, you,” the wall-eyed mare greeted in a voice that could only be described as bubbly. “You alright?”
“You can unhand him at any time,” Jet warned. She was braced for a fight with her hand hovering over where the pommel of a sword might be located. To the naked eye, there was nothing there, but that just proved what a good idea it was to get a high-tier glamour to hide her weapons. She spared only a glance at the pony pile off to the side where her orange companion was still entangled. “Moonlight. You alright?”
“Ugh! Who’s hand is that?”
“Ah! Sorry! My mistake.” More grunts and words of apology followed as the pair attempted to disentangle themselves. “Gah! Hey! No kicking.”
“Then maybe move your face from where I’m trying to step,” Moonlight snapped back. She’d seen her stallion in the arms of a stranger and was in no mood for shenanigans.
“Seriously?” the wall-eyed mare demanded, sounding quite perturbed. “How does this always happen with you?”
“Not by choice,” groused the brown stallion trying to extricate himself from Moonlight. “Yipe! Now look whose being all handsy.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. Just get off me before I get mad.”
Sensing trouble, the wall-eyed mare did the sensible thing and set Thomas down. He stepped back, finding her to be yet another absurdly thicc pegasus mare. Her voluptuous body, as he’d just found out, was both soft and firm enough that she could probably work part-time as a cushion for people jumping out of burning buildings.
Finally free, the brown stallion from before brushed himself off while Moonlight hurried to Thomas’ side. The human kept his eyes on the stallion, who he recognized from before, but no longer had wings. He was mumbling to himself in a distinctly British accent. Short by earth pony standards, he was half a head taller than Moonlight. His cutie mark, much to Thomas’ amazement and horror, was that of an hourglass. Finally, after thoughtlessly wandering over to the gray mare with the scolding gaze, the stallion looked up to see who it was that he’d bumped into. He grinned, chipper as can be, and then said the worst possible thing. The. Worst. Possible. Thing!
“Ah. Thomas and Moonlight. Good to see you again.”
Thomas buried his face in both hands, took a long inhale, and then screamed. He screamed as loud as his muffling hands would allow, all while the cadre of pones watched him in confusion.
It was the wall-eyed mare who first realized what was going on. “Uh, Doc. I don’t think we’ve met yet.”
“Hmm? What are you… Oh. Oh! Oh-oh-oh, yes. I see.” The stallion smacked his forehead. “Ah yes. Terribly sorry about that. Seems things are a bit out of order here.”
“Then put them back in order before things get messy,” Jet growled.
“Ah. So you’re still like this, hmm?” The pony called Doc asked, clearly bemused with Jet’s attitude. “But you’re right. Manners and all that.” He cleared his throat. “Hello there. You may call me the Doctor. And this is my companion,” he motioned to the wall-eyed mare, “Derpy.”
“It’s actually Ditzy Doo,” she corrected.
“But Derpy sounds so much cuter.”
She blushed and averted her gaze. “If you say so.”
“Now then.” The Doctor clapped his hands together. “Just what brings you lot out here?”
Moonlight’s horn was lit, ready for anything. “You.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. Thomas said there was something suspicious about you, so we were going to warn the Princesses.” Moonlight widened her stance and lowered her horn. “Looks like we weren’t fast enough.”
“I can hold them off,” Jet asserted, hand still hovering over her invisible sword as she shuffled forward. “You take Thomas and run.”
Thomas stepped forward, much to the shock of the guards, and positioned himself between them and the new ponies. “These aren’t the bad guys.”
“What are you talking about?” Jet demanded, her frustration evident through her parted lips and gritting teeth. “You said they were spies.”
Thomas shook his head, trying to order his thoughts. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to. Look, these are actually the good guys. They’re here to help.”
“You sure this is the first time we’ve met?” the Doctor whispered to Derpy.
“He’s an Oracle, remember? He knows things before they happen.”
“Oh, yes-yes-yes. Right.” The Doctor cleared his throat and looked down at Thomas. “Probably too late for the psychic paper, I’d wager.”
“Why didn’t you lead with that?” Thomas whined. “That thing’s, like, your most useful tool for problems like these.”
Seeing Thomas motioning to herself and Moonlight, Jet’s mind began to consider some very unpleasant scenarios. ‘Psychic’ was not a pony word. It was a word used by non-ponies to describe unicorn powers, mostly in reference to levitation and mind reading. She’d never heard of psychic paper before, but it sounded like a means for infiltration or manipulation. Thomas, her charge, was familiar with this stranger’s methods and upset with him for not manipulating her from the start. It was hard for her not to assume the worst.
Then there came a rather peculiar sound. It was rumbling, like a growl, but far… wetter? The growl sounded wet, squishy, and even just a bit flatulent.
“Woops,” Derpy said.
“Woops?”
“Forgot about that, didn’t we?” inquired the Doctor as he and his companion started looking around for the source of the noise. Fortunately, the hall had wholly cleared by then, so they were all alone.
“Forgot about what?” Moonlight demanded. “What is th—”
Before she could even finish, the answer spilled out to meet them. The liquid substance oozed out from the vents. A sickly purple, its viscous mass squelched, bubbled, and made all manner of offensive sounds as it spread out. These were not the movements of ordinary spilled liquid. Instead, there was intent, as the material forced itself to move forward towards the group. Another bubble, bigger than all the others, swelled up at the forefront of the mass. But rather than popping, as a proper bubble should, the bubble spun around, took a more solid shape, and blinked. The eye was looking at them, and it was blinking.
“Wh-what is that?” asked Jet. Hand at the ready over her sword, she slowly backed away from the pool of slime presently sliming its way towards them. Moonlight did much the same.
“Immune to swords and other blunt force trauma,” the Doctor informed helpfully. “Video games might say slimes are the weakest monsters, but reality would beg to differ.”
“What about magic?” Moonlight asked, controlling her breathing to keep herself calm. She made sure to hold Thomas directly behind her as the slime pooled itself together into a singular, semi-solid shape. It was twice as tall as any of them in no time and about four times as wide. A second eye appeared alongside the first, staring straight at the group. The corners of its newly formed mouth curled up into a hideous smile. “Can I blast it?”
“Wouldn’t recommend it!” A new stallion was sprinting towards the group, giving the slime a wide berth. He was tan, with a ginger mane, and a surprisingly stoic expression. “Magic works about as well as a chair leg. Please run.” And he whizzed past the group.
“Well, he learns quick,” complimented the Doctor. “I suggest we follow his lead and—”
“Graaa-pfft-plooh!” belched the slime.
“And get out of here.”
Not needing to be told twice, Moonlight threw Thomas over her shoulder and sprinted like her life depended on it, which it kind of did. Jet followed by wing, always maintaining proximity to her charge as they fled.
“You there. Doctor!” Jet shouted. “Who are you, and how do we stop that thing?” It seemed like everypony except her had some idea of what was happening, an error that needed correcting.
“Sorry,” he called over his shoulder. “My life’s history is a bit of a yarn. But as for that thing, we’re calling it a gackamoose.”
“A gacka… what?”
“We’re not married to that name,” Derpy informed tersely.
“Oy! Gackamoose is a great name.”
“The creature feeds on admiration,” the ginger stallion deadpanned. “A competition for ponies to show off is practically a buffet to it. We’ve been gathering up as many of the smaller ones as possible, but it looks like the rest have fused together into a super form.”
“Well, that’s great,” Moonlight snarled. “So, what do we do?”
“How far is the TARDIS?” Thomas asked.
“The what?”
“Pfft-graphel!” was the monster’s nonsense reply, although its tone suggested it was probably mocking them.
“Too far,” answered the ginger unicorn. “Why do you ask?”
“Is there any way to contain it? Like a giant glass jar or something?”
“Doctor, the weather barge.”
“Oh, Derpy, that’s brilliant! I could kiss you.”
“Thing just got bigger all of a sudden!” the ginger unicorn informed. “Please, no compliments.”
“Sorry.”
“Phrasing!” Thomas couldn’t help himself.
“Pleasure to see you again, by the way,” deadpanned the ginger unicorn.
“We’ve never met!” snapped Moonlight.
“Oh, dear. In that case, you should know that my name is Tick-Tock.”
“Anyway,” the Doctor continued. “We saw a weather barge parked just outside the stadium before we came in.”
Then Derpy elaborated. “I heard one of the drivers say it’s on a return trip, so all the containers should be empty. Those things were made to hold heavy thunder clouds, so they should be able to hold that thing, at least, for a while.”
“Sounds like the beginnings of a plan,” Tick-Tock assessed. “Hmm, if I could get ahold of one of the hoses used to expel the clouds, I could reverse the polarity and—”
The Doctor snorted a laugh. “Polarity.” And he snorted again, having far more fun than was appropriate when running from a terrifying slime monster.
“… and crank up the suction to work on the slime monster.”
“Gackamoose!”
“Agree to disagree.”
“Grahahaha!”
“And now it’s laughing at us,” Jet grumbled.
“Here. Try these.” Tick-Tock threw back several bottles for the others to catch. “They’re self-sealing bottles. Just throw them at the creature, and we can whittle away its mass. They won’t stop it, but they might slow it down.”
Holding multiple bottles in her magic, Moonlight decided to be the first to test the veracity of this stallion’s bold claim and threw one. Just as he’d described, the bottle filled up with as much of the monster’s gooey mass as possible before corking itself closed. The bottle was left behind while the monster continued its pursuit. “At least that’s something,” she relented.
Even from where they were, the group heard an especially loud uproar from the stadium. Something really amazing must have happened. That something must also have been very admirable, because it caused the filled bottle to crack until the monster segment inside burst out like the goo of an unfertilized egg. The main creature, it goes without saying, also grew.
“Never mind.”
“Oh, well. They can’t all be winners,” deadpanned Tick-Tock.
“What about negativity?” Thomas asked. He was straining his brain trying to remember this thing. What was it? How did they fight it? “It feeds on compliments, so what if we’re all just, like, really shitty to each other?” He actually hated this idea, but he was desperate to think of something. The monster was closing in and getting bigger by the second.
“Sound logic,” the Doctor acknowledged, “but I’m afraid not. Negativity is just what’s left after it’s done feeding but otherwise doesn’t affect the gackamoose. That’s why we’re running, so we’re not reduced to a bunch of nasty ponies too busy being insulting to be productive. In summation: good idea, but no.”
“There’s the barge!” Derpy pointed out ahead of them. “Now what?”
“You guys keep it distracted. I’ll see what I can do.” Tick-Tock split off from the group and ran towards the barge.
Thomas was scowling at the monster’s hideous smile. He hated it. Not just the monster, but this whole situation. He hated being helpless, being thrown over a mare’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes too useless for anything else. None of this was meant to happen. This was just supposed to be a nice, quiet day of touring a new city and watching a show where every safety precaution was being taken. Wait… “Guards! Where are all the guards?”
“Guarding the Princesses,” Jet said as though it were obvious.
“No. The extra guards in case Rainbow doesn’t catch Rarity after her wings melt.”
Everyone just stared blankly at the human, no one having any idea what he meant. Jet scratched the inside of her ear with an odd vigor, but didn’t seem satisfied with the result.
“Rarity’s wings melt, and Rainbow catches her. There’re supposed to be extra guards in case she doesn’t.”
Was that his prediction? Jet thought, wondering if there might have been more. Granted, the potential death of one of the nation’s heroes was a significant concern, but it seemed like there were easier ways to address the issue, such as banning Rarity from the show, to begin with. Could it be that Rarity had to be in danger and Rainbow had to be the one to save her? All questions for later.
“Derpy,” Jet barked. “Somepony needs to alert the guards to the new threat, and we can’t lead this thing into a crowded stadium. You have to go.”
“Why me?”
“Because Thomas is an Oracle and might remember something, I can’t leave his side, Moonlight won’t, and I don’t trust this ‘Doctor’ out of my sight.”
“Those are some fine arguments,” the Doctor allowed and looked to Derpy with a rather unsettling grin. “But I’ve got a better idea.”
The wall-eyed mare furrowed her brow. “What are you…” Then she caught him glancing down. “What!? Oh, no. No-no-no-no-no! We are not doing that again.”
“Why not? It’s worked so far.”
“It’s a GOO monster, Doctor! It’ll get in… places.”
“If you have the means to fight, then fight,” Jet ordered.
“Ugh! Fine.” Too emotionally exhausted to argue, Derpy came to a sudden stop, nearly causing Moonlight to collide with her. She then squatted low, sticking her butt out and looking over her shoulder as if to take aim. “You owe me for this!”
The Doctor also came to a skidding halt and turned around. Not only was it bad form to leave his companions behind, but he was rather curious if his absurd plan would even work.
Against their better judgment, the other mares followed the Doctor’s lead, their instincts recognizing him as the authority on the matter. However, they did make sure to position him between themselves and the hideous goo monster.
With all her might, Derpy launched herself backward, butt first. The gackamoose continued to grin its terrible grin, seeing no reason to adjust its speed or otherwise alter its movements, for it perceived no threat. It merely pressed on, ready to take the mare’s hit, feed off of her positivity, and then move on. It was only at the last possible second, as the twin orbs of her tremendous rump were mere inches from its face, that the monstrosity sensed that something was off. A strange magic radiated from those soft and supple cheeks, the likes of which the abomination had never before encountered. An eye blink later, and the gackamoose’s ‘head’ was sheered clean off, much to its apparent shock. The severed segment flew off and landed with a sickening, squelchy splat, while the main body coasted to a stop.
Derpy, much to her own surprise, managed to spin in midair, slowing her momentum. She then straightened, wings outstretched. With the grace of an angel, or a Princess, she gently fluttered down to the ground. Blinking, taking in what just happened, the biggest, happiest grin stretched across her face. “It worked? It worked!” And just as quickly as it appeared, the grin fell to despair when the mare looked down and saw the icky goo clinging to her backside. She felt it, too. “Ewwww, it worked!”
“Graaa-pfft-aaaa,” moaned the gackamoose in what might have been pain. Its two segments were losing cohesion, flattening, and pooling out. “Whaaaa?”
The Doctor snapped his fingers. “Yes! I knew it would work.”
“What would work?” Jet demanded, gob-smacked at what she beheld.
“I have observed the presence of a type of probability field around Miss Derpy’s, well, buttocks. Anything her rump collides with tends to go haywire. One time when entering the TARDIS, the door hit her rear with such force that it sent her flying right into the controls. The old girl was sent into a spin, and – get this – we actually crashed into another TARDIS! How wild is that?” He asked with an excited smile that merely baffled those around him, but he didn’t seem to care.
“And what’s more? I’m pretty sure the other TARDIS was mine. That’s right. I had a hit-and-run with myself. I may not fully understand it, but Derpy’s plot has the power to grapple with the very concept of impossibility, and twist it into a submission hold.” The bafflement of the others persisted. Truly it was a shame how he was the only one who could appreciate the wonder of such incidents.
“And now I’ve got goo in my crack!” informed the gray mare. She was currently busy with the exceedingly important task of digging the goo out of various crevices. The stuff was disgusting beyond measure, and the thought that it might be semi-intelligent – at least enough to be willfully malicious – only made her dig with greater vigor. “When this is over, I’m taking a boiling bath for the next week!”
Moonlight empathized with the mare’s plight, having endured a similar humiliation in the past. If any substance could be said to be evil by its nature, slime would definitely be on the list. But beyond that, they were still in the middle of a crisis. The gackamoose was no longer dissolving. In fact, it seemed to be regaining its shape, and did not look pleased with them. “Reforming. It’s looking at us, and it’s reforming!”
“Looking?” Thomas muttered. Spying some of the bottles that Moonlight still held, he was stricken by an idea. “Eyes!”
“What?”
Thomas was in too great a hurry to explain. A thing needed doing, so he pushed himself out of Moonlight’s grip and grabbed one of the bottles. She asked again, but he ignored her. Instead, he ran over to the gackamoose’s head segment, closing the distance by half, took aim, and hurled the bottle right at the thing’s eye. As if it knew its thrower’s plan, the bottle almost appeared to suck the sickly yellow orb through its opening with a wet pop. Little else of the monster’s mass was taken into the bottle, so it would be a bit before it could grow enough to break free. It hit the floor with a clink some ways away, the yellow orb inside blinking in furious disbelief at what had just happened.
“Pfft-fuuu-blurp-yuuu!”
“The eyes!” Thomas shouted. “It has eyes, so it must need them to see.”
“Brilliant,” the Doctor complimented. He just couldn’t help himself.
“Now there’s an idea I can get behind.” Jet finally drew her sword into the open, breaking the glamour. She took wing and flew up just above where the remaining eye was, and quickly stabbed down. It split open like an egg as gooey purple yolk spilled out. The gackamoose screamed, but she retracted her sword before the amorphous slime could grab hold.
Filled with confidence in their strategy, the group took up positions around the putrid menace. Moonlight distributed the remaining bottles to the others and opted for an experimental attack. Her shield had always been effective as a bludgeon. As her signature spell, its every contour was practically tattooed onto her brain. She’d never had much need to modify it until now. She began with the size, calculating the energy needed to summon the same shield at 1/20 its standard. Sharpening the edges was trickier but still manageable.
With the prep work complete, Moonlight had conjured a shield the size of a drink coaster. She took aim, gave her baby a spin for good measure, and sent it flying towards the larger mass where a new eye had just blinked into existence, only to be sliced in half. The larger segment screamed. And though its voice was gurgly, she was pretty sure that it had just cursed at her. She was fine with this. Pissing off the enemy meant that she was doing her job as a soldier.
And so they fought. The admiration from the stadium meant that the monster was constantly growing, but focusing their attacks on the apparently vital eyes proved to be exceedingly effective. The non-combatants threw the bottles, which seemed always to hit their marks, taking only the eyes and little else. The combatants did what they did best, slicing and smashing to keep the creature perpetually off-balance. But it never stopped growing. And depending on the thing’s intelligence, this plan would only last for so long before it came up with a counter, but they knew that. This was just a diversion; a means to keep the gackamoose busy until Tick-Tock finished his fiddling. Then they’d not only have the means to hold the monstrous monstrosity, but also a way to send it far from its food source until they could come up with a more long-term plan.
Thomas imagined that the Doctor would find a planet without sapient life, somewhere with an ecosystem that could assimilate the creature into the circle of life or something. The Doctor tended to do that sort of thing. Except, thinking on it, this wasn’t actually the Doctor, but rather a Doctor. If Thomas recalled, this was a Doctor actually willing to use violence as Plan A. He wasn’t willing to wait, trusting in luck to keep himself and his companions safe until they were backed into a corner. This was a Doctor willing to face down his enemies, and actually feel satisfied if he didn’t let them walk away.
“Staaa-pfft-p!”
And they did, not expecting such a command.
“Did that thing just talk?” asked Moonlight.
“Lots of monsters talk,” informed Jet, not wanting anypony distracted by misplaced sympathies. “Don’t forget it attacked us.”
“Hold on then.” The Doctor stepped forward. “If you have the ability to speak, then I’ll hear what you have to say. What do you want?”
“Grrr. You filthy meaty – blurrrp – things.”
“Filthy!?” Derpy was aghast and turned around for all to see her once luscious rump now caked in drying purple goo. “You’re one to talk, Mr. Slimy Face.”
“Grahahaha-gruuup-haa. Fools. You can’t stop me. I… I will continue to grow.” As the gackamoose spoke, it did just that. The two segments swelled until they finally reconnected. Finally getting a chance to breathe, the two eyes became six, and then twelve, and soon it became too difficult to keep track. “I will drown this entire planet with my-gah!” It winced. “Hey, you. I was talking, here!”
Thomas looked to where the thrown bottle had landed. The severed eye inside blinking furiously. He shrugged. “Evil villain monologue.” He held his last bottle close, staring down the awful creature. “I’ve heard them all before.”
“What? How could, pfft, you possibly—”
“Got anything new?” Thomas cut it off. “Anything that a hundred other bad guys haven’t already said?”
The gackamoose hesitated, suddenly looking more thoughtful than angry.
The Doctor was the first to catch on and gave an exasperated sigh. “You know he’s right. I’ve faced down so many monologuing bad guys that it’s not even fun anymore.”
“Wait, serious-uurp-ly? You, pfft, too?”
Derpy caught the look the Doctor sent her way and made an o-face. “Er, yeah. The world will be mine.” She deepened her voice and held up a triumphant fist. “You will bow before me. Mwahahaha!” Then she switched back to her regular voice. “I haven’t even been on that many adventures, and I’m already bored of it.”
The gackamoose, with its dozens of eyes, stared at the hecklers with what appeared to be genuine hurt. “Gruuup. That’s not, pfft, fair. I only just woke up after centuries of imprisonment. How, uuurp, am I supposed to know, brrrup, about other bad guys?”
Moonlight stole a glance at Tick-Tock. He was still working and needed time. “Did you try any reconnaissance? Like… anything? The world’s changed a lot in just the last hundred years. How could you be certain ponies wouldn’t already have a foolproof plan to eradicate monsters like you?”
The gackamoose’s slimy clump of a body sagged. “I, shooopt, guess things have changed a, pfft, bit. But that doesn’t matter.” It was starting to rebuild its confidence. “Ponies are still ponies. Brrrup. You’re still sacks of bone and flesh, pfft, driven on emotions for me to feed on. That much hasn’t, schluuurp, changed.” It swelled to triple its original size. “And now that I’m free, I can once again—”
“Use one-liners so old they’re on life support? Yeah, real original, pal.”
The Doctor stared at Derpy, his brow halfway up his forehead. “Nice one.”
“Thanks.”
The gackamoose grew another half-inch, but it was offset by more slouching.
“I know where you’re coming from,” Thomas offered. “I’m an aspiring writer, and it can get pretty discouraging when you realize that the market’s already flooded with just about every good idea there is. But that’s what ya gotta do. Ya gotta be original, come up with something that makes your work stand out, makes you stand out, so there’s a lasting impression.”
The gackamoose gave a sniffle, which still managed to sound offensively flatulent. “Uuuuurp, how?”
Jet saw Moonlight motioning her. She’d figured out what they were doing, stupid as it was. The gray mare having an impossible plot seemed more believable than what was happening right now. She scratched the inside of her ear, swearing that she could hear stifled laughter in the background, and gave a relenting moan. Stupid or not, this plan was working, and she was honor-bound to do her part. “Let’s start with what you already have. Who are you? Where do you come from? What skills make you unique?”
If she had to play along, then she could at least be smart about it.
“Pfft. Well, I’m, grrrp, the Smooze, and—”
“The Smooze!” Thomas exclaimed, elevating the monster’s mood.
“You-pfft-ve heard of me?”
“Well, yeah, actually. You’re kind of a classic villain, at least as far as ponies go.”
Jet had heard of the Smooze as well. It was a living disaster that had swept across the early pony settlements following the Exodus. Details on the abomination were hardly classified, but neither were they all that common. Even living in Canterlot Castle, it seemed unlikely that Thomas would have simply stumbled upon such knowledge. Was this more of his Oracle knowing?
The Smooze rippled, and its ‘lips’ curled into a smile that could curdle milk.
“Ah, pooh.”
“Doctor?”
“Gackamoose was a way cooler name,” whined the stallion old beyond his years.
“Not really. The Smooze actually came with its own theme song.”
“Theme song? I have a, quescch, theme song?”
“Oh, yeah. Definitely.” Thomas cleared his throat. “‘Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh. Something bad is coming down. Have you heard the news? Duck inside. Run and hide. Nothing can stop… the Smooze.’”
“That… was surprisingly catchy,” acknowledged Moonlight. “Is there more?”
“Heeey. A, quescch, theme song. Maybe that’s, pfft, what I need.”
“Definitely the most memorable part of a lot of villains. Most of the time, the bad guys just use singing to exposit their evil plans.” Thomas glanced at Moonlight, who motioned him to keep going. “But the Smooze song is all about how you’re this unstoppable thing. ‘Any-one who tries to fight, is guaranteed to loooose.’ The song has kind of this friendly, not really threatening melody, but the lyrics paint this very different picture. The Smooze isn’t a bad guy. It’s a force of nature.”
“Ooh-oh. I, grrrp, like that.”
Then Jet remembered something important. “I, uh, don’t think we should talk about a song anymore.”
“What? Why?” asked the Doctor. “Songs are fun.” His stating the obvious earned him a death glare from the winged mare.
“I just think there are bigger, more important things to focus on.” Like the war-loving human not giving the monsters functional advice to improve itself. “There’s your origin, for one. Where did you come from?”
“Well, I was, pfft. Hey, wait a, grup, minute. You’re trying to, quescch, distract me, aren’t you!” A tense silence befell the odd group. “You are! You’re just, pfft, trying to, gwaaaw, make me lose focus on my goals.”
“Which is what?” The Doctor added hurriedly. “Taking over the world?”
“Yesth.”
“And then what?”
“I want to know that, too,” agreed Thomas. “You spread everywhere, cover everything in gunk, and then what? What do you do after you win?”
“Graaah!” roared the abomination. “E-pfft-nough. I’m going to—”
“Sorry for the delay,” Tick-Tock said. He’d run up and set the end of the hose pointed at the monster. “I’d actually finished a little bit ago, but your banter was too entertaining,” he deadpanned. “I was curious where you were going, but now it’s time to end this.” He flipped the switch, and the vacuum roared to life.
“Hey. Hey! What are, quescch, you doing?”
Face free of expression, Tick-Tock felt a spark of creativity that, for once, had nothing to do with inventing. “Cleaning up the mess.”
“Excellent one-liner, my ginger-corn.”
Jet screamed, her patience pushed to the limit. “Would you please stop complimenting everypony?”
“Sorry.”
“Raaah-pfft-aaaa!” the Smooze cried out as the force of the suction seemed to encircle it. Being magical in nature, the machine had the barest sliver of what might be considered consciousness. As with the self-sealing bottles, it had an understanding of its function and a desire to perform that function to the best of its ability. As such, the great sucking power of the vacuum was focused exclusively on the globby goo, with little attention paid to surrounding debris. The Smooze lacked the strength to slink away, and every second saw more and more goopy globules lost into the hose’s gluttonous maw. Still, it held on, digging its gooey limbs into the cloud floor.
And then Thomas threw his last bottle, catching a couple more eyes.
“Ow!” Despite the present danger, the Smoozed turned its full attention onto Thomas. “Oh, you little-ffft, uh oh!” That moment of distraction was the last straw. The Smooze lost its grip and was sucked fully through the hose and into the giant container. In mere seconds, it had completely disappeared. But it wasn’t over yet.
“Get the bottles!” Moonlight ordered. “We can’t let any of them break free and escape.”
And so the rest of the group hurried around the immediate area, picking up bottles and haphazardly tossing them into the vacuum. Moonlight even sprinted back to pick up the first bottle she’d thrown. When all was said and done, Tick-Tock switched off the vacuum and opened part of the weather barge’s outer shielding, allowing them to see inside.
The Smooze was mad. It was screaming, farting, and making screams that sounded like a bad case of the runs as it hurled itself at the container’s walls in a desperate bid to escape.
“That should hold it for a while,” reasoned Tick-Tock.
“Good. I’ll see if there’s somewhere we can drop it off that won’t cause any harm.”
“Ick! It’s even grosser when it dries.” Apparently, Derpy felt that the state of her gooey butt was important enough to share. “Ugh. And it’s sticking to my fur, too. Now I’m gonna have bald spots if I rip it off.”
“Unfortunate,” Tick-Tock offered.
Moonlight was bent over, bracing her hands on her knees as she panted. “I’m just glad this ordeal is over.” She looked around to the others. “It is over, isn’t it?”
“Essentially,” Tick-Tock affirmed. “I’ll still need to hotwire the engine to—”
*PWOW*
“Did you hear that?”
“Sounds like an explosion.” Jet readied her sword once more and surveyed the area. “Distant, but powerful.”
The Doctor hummed thoughtfully. “Sounds like a pegasus divebombing at supersonic speeds.”
“Oddly specific, but my horn is tingling,” Moonlight said, pointing at her flickering horn.
“Same,” Tick-Tock agreed. “I believe we’re about to be hit by a powerful wave of magic.”
Just as he’d finished speaking, the world around them came alive with lights. It was like God had placed some kind of rainbow filter over the sun, causing lights of every color to dance. It was pretty, if a little disorienting. None liked it less than the Smooze, which gave a shrieking, wet, and squelchy scream. It quickly became evident that this last scream was a death cry as the awful, revolting, yet oddly weak-hearted monster began to shrink. It shrunk, and it shrunk, its blubbering voice growing ever higher in pitch, until finally, it had ceased to be.
Jet stepped forward for a better look. “It’s… gone?”
“Rainbow energy, my still angry friend,” the Doctor explained. “Only thing that can hurt the gacka-er, Smooze. Ugh. The whole reason we’d come here in the first place was that I’d detected a substantial quantity of rainbow energy, enough to defeat the, eh, Smooze for good.” He looked pretty pleased with himself.
“Rainbow?” Moonlight repeated. Looking thoughtful, she turned to face Thomas. “Rainbow Dash saved Rarity?” Her real question was clear.
Jet caught on next. “I read about this. Years ago, a filly got her cutie mark after performing a feat of speed not seen in centuries. The world’s seventh Sonic Rainboom.” She was in awe, barely able to believe her own words. She turned bodily to Thomas, her stare intense, demanding that he deny what she was thinking. It was just too absurd to be true.
Thomas stared between the two slack-jawed guardsmares. He couldn’t help but laugh when he said, “Yeah. The pony with ‘rainbow’ in her name managed to make rainbows.”
Jet felt star-struck. She barely paid any attention to the uproarious laughter in her ear. Moonlight, as a native and reasonably well-schooled in history, was little better. Both understood the significance of the event that just transpired.
“There are seven Sonic Rainbooms?” Tick-Tock asked. “Well, I suppose it’s up to eight, now. In my time, we were only up to five.”
Moonlight found her voice. “Your… time?”
“Oh, yeah. Did we forget to mention that?” asked Derpy. “The Doctor is a Time Lord. He goes on adventures through time and space, and he takes us along for the ride,” she added proudly, still peeling dried gunk from her plot.
“But… but time travel is impossible.”
Thomas walked over and placed a sympathetic hand on Moonlight’s arm. “Time Lord,” he reiterated. “He’s an alien who does his own thing.”
“Alien?” Jet finally snapped free of her stupor. “Another alien?”
The Doctor nodded.
“So now we’ve got two aliens from other worlds running around?”
“Well, fifteen,” he corrected. “Well, technically, sixteen and a half, depending on the time of day. It’s all pretty relative, to be honest.”
Jet looked in no mood. “No more riddles, alien,” she spat. “I’m placing you under arrest.”
“What?” gasped Derpy. “Why?”
“Let me see here. Reckless negligence for leading a monster into a crowded area.”
Derpy winced.
“Illegal tampering with state equipment.”
“My modifications were necessary to contain the creature,” Tick-Tock argued.
“I’m still unclear on what psychic paper is, but it sounds like the sort of thing ripe for abuse.”
“That’s fair,” Tick-Tock allowed.
“Since time travel is impossible, I’m going to assume that you’re breaking the laws of reality to do… whatever it is you do.”
“Now that’s just being petty,” Derpy huffed.
“And probably a lot more, but I think I’ll finish off with entering the country illegally, alien.”
Derpy pursed her lips in morbid contemplation. “I think she’s got us, Doctor. What are we supposed to do?” No answer came. “Doctor? Uh, Doctor?”
The Doctor was ignoring her, too busy muttering under his breath. “Alpha Charlie? No. Maybe… maybe Cancer? Canter?” He was hurriedly snapping his fingers as if doing so might help jog his memory.
“What are you babbling about, now?” Jet had half a mind to just lunge sword first and accept whatever consequences came.
“Ah! I remember now.” The Doctor cleared his throat, looking quite pleased with himself as he offered his defense. “Alpha, Horse, Luna, Canter, Terra.”
Jet had had enough. “Okay, that’s it. One more word out of you, and I’ll add resisting arrest to your—”
“Stand down, Corporal.”
Jet blinked, mindful of giving no reaction to the voice in her ear. “I beg your pardon?”
“Alpha, Horse, Luna, Canter, Terra.”
“You heard him, Corporal. Stand down. He’s one of ours.”
Jet wanted to scream, to rail against the absurdity of everything, of every ridiculous thing that had happened in the last few minutes, but she didn’t. She was a professional, so she held it in. It’d come out later when she gave her report, which she had every intention of doing while the jackass in her ear was at his desk with no way to escape. “Understood.” Seething, she relaxed her stance and sheathed her sword. “It seems,” she heaved a tired breath, “that you are free to go.”
“Don’t worry,” Derpy assured. “It gets better. I promise. You just have to learn to start trusting others more.”
Moonlight wanted clarification. “You’re saying that as a time traveler, right?”
Derpy giggled nervously. “Hehe. Well, um, yes, kind of. I can’t say more, though. Don’t want to disrupt the time stream and all that.”
The Doctor nodded his approval. “But what we can say is that this won’t be the last time we meet.”
And then Derpy had another thought. “Oh, wait. Can I, uh,” she gestured at Thomas, “say that one thing?”
“Hmm? Oh, yes. Definitely. That should be fine.”
“A message from the future?” Thomas asked warily, his lifetime of media consumption already causing his imagination to run rampant with worse case scenarios. “Oh, crap. How bad is it?”
Derpy gave a short but bubbly giggle. “It’s actually really good.” She closed the distance between them, knelt down on one knee, and pulled him into a hug. “Just remember that your friends love you, okay. No matter how bad things might get, no matter what others might say, that will always be true.”
Despite his aversion to being touched by strangers, Thomas felt oddly relaxed in the mare’s embrace. It was like he could feel the sincerity radiating off of her. Still, the human stared inquisitively back at the warm mare, studying her to better understand this effect she had. Then she let him go.
“Remember what I said, okay.” Then she turned to Moonlight and gave a small nod. “The same goes for you. You’ve got so many wonderful friends just waiting to help. Just make sure that he,” she gestured, “never forgets.”
After a second’s consideration, Moonlight nodded back. “Alright.” She didn’t fully understand, but felt the importance of the words and took them to heart. “I’ll do that.”
Jet stared between the self-professed time travelers, almost daring them to say something that might shake her resolve. Then Tick-Tock caught her eye.
“Based on my observations, your contribution was more significant than you might believe.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“During initial testing of the smaller segments of the Smooze, it appears that its feeding process was not purely passive. It had to devote a considerable amount of conscious effort into absorbing ambient energy from its surroundings,” explained the ginger unicorn in his trademark deadpan. “Chasing us was one thing, but having to fend off your attacks cut its focus by a significant degree. Although the Sonic Rainboom would have weakened it no matter what, had you not been here, the Smooze may very well have grown large enough to survive the shockwave. Thanks to you,” his gaze swept over the guardsmares and man, “that monster will never hurt anypony again.”
Jet blinked, not expecting such compassion from such an emotionless stallion. Unable to find the words, she simply nodded back.
Thomas also took heart at this revelation, allowing himself a small smile. The very existence of the Doctor was still a cause for worry. However, the thought that he’d actually made a difference made the human feel fifty lbs. lighter. A dreadful monster had just been erased, thanks in part to his heckling. I… helped.
“Well, I think that about wraps things up here,” the Doctor offered. “Anyone else have any final words to share?”
Moonlight’s thoughts were racing a million miles an hour. She was still riding the adrenaline hi from the fight, and there were so many questions to be asked, mostly regarding time travel. Alas, she already had the feeling that she’d never get any straight answers. She’d read enough science fiction to know that time travel was complicated, to say the least. Derpy had already given them a cryptic warning, which was probably the best she could hope for. There definitely wouldn’t be any revelations around the secrets behind time travel. Yet, she still felt that she’d regret it if she let these three go without some final words.
“Thank you!” she blurted. “Thank you for… for helping.”
The Doctor smiled back. “It was my pleasure. And now, if there’s nothing else, I think it’s high time I go say hello to an old friend.” And he turned his back, never saying a proper ‘goodbye’ as his companions waved and followed after him.
It was a few seconds after the time-traveling trio had disappeared behind the corner that Jet spoke up. “That’s the way to the Princesses’ box.”
Moonlight stared with equal concern. “Not necessarily. I mean, there could be all kinds of things down—”
“We should return to our box,” Jet cut her off. She took her position behind Thomas, patted her sheathed sword, and motioned for him to start moving. “We’ve already lingered too long.”
Thomas and Moonlight shared a look. “You alright?”
Jet didn’t answer right away. Instead, she took a second to listen to the voice in her ear and then relayed the message. “I suppose I ought to be. As that unicorn, Tick-Tock said, we made a difference. We helped finish off one of pony kind’s ancient enemies.” She sounded more upbeat as she spoke. “We’ll have to file reports to our superiors, of course.”
Beaming, Moonlight nodded back. “Of course.” And she looked at Thomas. “This is going to be quite the story to—”
“Let’s wait and see before we go blabbing,” Jet cut in. “It might cause a panic if word gets out of a monster attacking what is supposed to be one of the most secure locations in the country. We’ll wait for approval from our superiors, just in case this incident ends up classified.”
Though disappointed, Moonlight nodded again. There were already lots of secrets around Thomas. One more couldn’t hurt. “Fair enough.”
“That said,” Jet trailed off as her gaze fell upon Thomas, “is there anything else pertinent to our immediate situation?”
Thomas pursed his lips, lowered his eyes, and thought. “No. No, I don’t think so. The Doctor walking off usually means the end of the specific adventure.” Without saying a word, Jet seemed to be urging him to go on. “I’ll tell Luna what I can so she’ll have an idea of what to look for. But knowing the Doctor, well, he’s kind of unpredictable and a magnet for trouble.”
As aliens seem to be, Jet thought while giving a satisfied nod. “Then I suppose we’re done here.”
***
Back at the box, the collection of friends practically mobbed the missing trio, bombarding them with questions of where they’d been, what they’d done, did they go to the bathroom, and if they saw Rainbow Dash’s spectacular feat of heroism. Jet’s catch-all response was ‘Oracle business,’ which quieted everyone down quickly enough… for a few seconds. Pinkie and Fluttershy simply refused to stay silent as they gushed over Rainbow’s deeds.
Thomas, seeking escape, motioned for Twilight to come with him off to the side.
“What’s up? I thought this was Oracle business. Pretty sure I’m not privy to that kind of stuff unless absolutely necessary.”
“Well, kind of. You’re pretty much the best researcher I know. It’s practically your hobby.” Twilight almost glowed with pride at Thomas’ remarks. “You ponies seem to like your secrets, so there probably won’t be anything. But, next time you’re reading through some old history book, could you try keeping an eye out for a blue box?”
“Blue box?”
He nodded. “It’ll probably have ‘Police Phone Box’ written on the top, probably popping up around times when trouble starts brewing.”
Looking serious, Twilight nodded. “I’ll see what I can do. Was there anything more specific you’d like me to look for?”
Jet’s left ear was fixed firmly on the pair’s discussion. She was certain that the other pony listening would be carrying out similar research.
Thomas shook his head. “I don’t really know. It all happens in the past, so I’m not sure how much of it will affect us now. Just… just anything you think might be important. Patterns and stuff.”
Twilight nodded again, more visibly excited to receive an assignment that involved research. “I’ll do what I can.”
***
Later, after the crowds had dispersed and the groups of friends split, Thomas and company were allowed to make the return trip in Luna’s carriage. Silver, chugging a bottle of ice water, collapsed onto Surprise like she was a comfy couch after a long day’s work. She was utterly exhausted, her limbs twitching now and then, and a goofy-looking grin ever present on her face. The others smiled with morbid amusement, imagining what Luna had put her through, and uncertain if they should feel lucky or grateful for missing out.
Meanwhile, the Princess of the Night had pulled both Thomas and Moonlight into a fierce, nearly smothering embrace. “Thou art okay, yes?” She held them up in her magic, turning them this way and that to examine their bodies for any signs of injury, and then returned them to her bosom. “We art so grateful for thine safe return!”
Managing to lock eyes over the mighty hills of breast flesh, Moonlight and Thomas stared at one another with realization. She knew!
“Mmgh.” Moonlight awoke with a faint tingle between her legs. The tingle felt familiar, somehow important, but for the love of the alicorns, she was unable to remember why. She next became aware of an even more familiar pressure behind her. Sleeping on her side as she was, and with the comforting warmth of a stallion on her back, she knew this second feeling could only be one thing. “Good morning, stud,” Moonlight purred as she ground her hips back into Thomas’ morning wood.
“Hey there, sweet stuff,” he greeted groggily, grabbing around his love’s waist for leverage. His body began mechanically hot-dogging between her firm butt cheeks.
“Is that really how you say ‘hello’ to your special little mare in the morning?” she teased, fighting against a groan as her human’s actions seemed to agitate the tingle.
“Little?” he asked in disbelief as he reared back and thrust his erection forward between the mare’s thighs, causing her to squeak as he grazed her sensitive clit. “Ain’t nothing little about you, big girl.”
Moonlight happily hummed as she clenched her thighs tightly together, holding his erection in place as she reached down and gave the head a gentle flick. “And don’t you forget it.” Despite her bravado, she couldn’t help but feel a wrongness in her actions, like she’d somehow disrespected her stallion in some way. It was almost a chore to open her thighs and release his erection so that they could both get out of bed.
No sooner had her hooves hit the floor than the unicorn spun around and yanked the covers off the still drowsy human. “Wake up, lazy bones,” she said with a forced giggle as her eyes zeroed in on his morning wood. And stop selfishly hogging that piece of meat all to yourself! Selfish? Where had that come from? Moonlight lingered on this thought faintly as she pressed her muzzle down against the base of his cock, just above the balls. She inhaled deeply of his scent and gave a lustful moan of gratitude.
“Someone’s feeling extra friendly today,” Thomas chuckled as his hands mechanically fell upon Moonlight’s head, fingers intertwining with her mane as she nuzzled his manhood. Morning blowjobs, despite how good they felt, had been one of those routines he hadn’t been terribly sorry to cut back on. In fact, he’d told Moonlight as much, and she’d agreed to do so with less and less frequency, appreciating that her stallion got tired attending to so many mares and wished for his time with his herd mare to have a bit more cuddling.
“Can’t help it.” Moonlight extended her tongue and began lathering around his balls before popping one inter her mouth and suckling it fondly. The other quickly followed suit. The sounds of Thomas’ moans were like music to her ears. Eventually, after deciding she’d sucked the orbs clean of all flavor, she released them both with an audible pop. “You just taste so,” she inhaled again and clicked her tongue, “masculine.”
Thomas frowned, a bit concerned. “Really? I thought my smell was still being suppressed.”
“It is,” Moonlight purred, sounding vaguely drunk as she nuzzled up and down his length almost worshipfully. “If it weren’t,” she panted heavily, “I don’t think I’d be letting you leave this room.”
“Uh… Moony?” Thomas asked in concern.
“Yes, my yummy little colt,” she emphasized by licking his tip and sampling a bead of his delicious pre. Her entire body shuddered as the tingle between her legs grew warmer by the second.
“What’s that circle on the calendar for?”
Moonlight’s ear flicked, and her body went stiff, making the human very nervous. Please, no… She extracted herself from his heavenly aroma and spun around. Her pupils shrunk to pinpricks upon seeing the calendar.
“Well, it looks like the whole of next week’s been circled.” He indicated the thick red ink circling the entire week, along with the words ‘DON’T FORGET!’ “How the hell did I not notice that earlier?” he asked himself.
“Oh, no,” Moonlight muttered in dreadful fright, all the while not realizing that her hands had gone to massage Thomas’ cock and balls. “This isn’t good.”
“Uh, what is?” Thomas asked, finding it marginally tricky to concentrate with Moonlight fondling him as she was.
“Heat week,” Moonlight said as if speaking the name of some eldritch horror. However, whatever terrifying mood she was trying to set was ruined by her continued stroking of the human. Her tail also began wagging behind her in a bid to cool herself off, but only succeeded in spreading the smell of her arousal.
“Heat? As in, that time mares get super horny?” Thomas asked worriedly.
“No. It’s the time of year mares get super horny, and receptive to a stallion’s seed.” She whimpered as she turned to meet her stallion’s concerned gaze, silently grateful he seemed to understand the gravity of the situation and sympathized with her plight. “Mine’s… early!” But how? Why? And why didn’t my pro-estrus warn me?
“M-Moonlight,” Thomas stammered as he set his hands around the mare’s own, but her grip held fast. “I, uh, love you and all—”
“And I love you too,” Moonlight agreed as she continued her thoughtless fondling.
“Yeah, I know, but, thing is, I’m not really ready to be a dad right now,” he confessed, still trying to pull her hands away. Then he remembered. “I said that back at the doctor’s office, remember.”
“I do, and I understand completely,” Moonlight breathlessly said as the tingle between her legs grew ever hotter, and her face began drawing ever closer to her stallion’s groin. “My career in the guard has only just started,” she groaned as she licked her lips in anticipation. “I’d hoped to at least make sergeant before having my first foal.”
“Y-yeah. G-good plan,” Thomas stammered, trying all the harder to escape his captor. Her grip wasn’t quite painful, but the dazed look in her eyes left him particularly anxious about what she might do. “I’d love to talk about that some time, maybe after you, urgh, let me go!”
“Wh-what?” Moonlight asked distractedly. “Oh. OH!” Only now realizing what she’d been doing, the mare jumped back to the opposite end of the room. She held her hands up as if under arrest. “Sorry! I’m so sorry!” Her ears were splayed, and she was cringing back submissively.
“Hold on. Back up,” Thomas said as he held his hands out in front of him, maintaining a distance between the two as he adjusted himself upon the bed. “What’s going on, and why are you acting like that?”
“Like…” Moonlight glanced down at herself, observing her meek disposition as well as her glistening marehood. I’m in heat, you dolt! a voice inside her head screamed. It commanded her to act, to use the tool Faust had given the male sex for this very purpose, to quell her inner fire. However, that voice was quickly drowned out by concern for her stallion’s wellbeing. “This is… I didn’t hurt you, did I?” she asked urgently. She wasn’t in her right mind and feared her hormones might have driven her to do something careless, dreadful, and possibly illegal.
“What? No!” Thomas denied just as urgently. The panic in Moonlight’s voice was only causing him to grow more anxious. “All’s well over here.” He laughed meekly and indicated his unharmed body. “You were just, uh, being a little more grabby than usual.”
Moonlight’s posture visibly relaxed, though she maintained her distance. She didn’t trust herself not to lose control again. “Oh, thank Faust!”
“Something you wanna tell me? Because I’m kind of freaking out over how much you’re freaking out.”
“Oh, uh, right. Sorry,” Moonlight squeaked as her eyes fell down below the human’s beltline, though she quickly jumped back up when she’d been caught. “This time of year,” she licked her lips, “mares can get a little… clingy with their stallions.”
“You say that, but I’m guessing we’re not talking the same kind of ‘clingy’ you guys usually do,” Thomas inferred.
Moonlight nodded guiltily. “Sometimes a heat-addled mare might… force herself on her stallion.” It hurt to admit. The stories were rare, but never failed to make the news for how utterly atrocious they were.
Thomas remained silent as he watched, waiting for Moonlight to continue her uncomfortable admission.
“Mares hurting stallions is just unthinkable on a normal day,” she said. “But this time of year, and with you of all stallions…” she trailed off, her eyes starting to water. “I could… I’d never…” she struggled to say.
“You didn’t!” Thomas reflexively shouted back, causing Moonlight to jump a little. Frightened and confused as he was, he couldn’t stand to see his mare in this state. Only vaguely aware of the smell of mare arousal in the air, the human hopped out of bed and held out his limbs in presentation. “See? I’m fine. You didn’t do anything bad.”
Moonlight calmed further, but kept her arms folded beneath her breasts as a relieved smile spread across her lips. “Thank Faust!” However, as her eyes fell back to his erection, she caught herself feeling a little bit proud that her musk had kept him aroused despite her morality attempting to kill the mood. No! she hissed internally. Bad libido!
“That said, I’m still a little in the dark here,” Thomas admitted. He glanced over at the door, imagining the female majority population that lay beyond, all in the same half-crazed state as Moonlight. “So, uh, how bad are we talking?”
“What?” Moonlight followed his line of sight and guessed his thoughts. “Oh! It’s not what you’re thinking,” she insisted, desperate for her beloved stallion to not start thinking poorly of herself or mares as a whole. “Mares don’t just start jumping stallions at random.” She laughed nervously. “We’d need to be locked up if that were the case.”
Thomas nodded, clearly not appreciating the joke.
“It’s just, um…” she trailed off. “Heat’s a pain in the flank in general. It’s a burning itch that just screams to be scratched.” Without meaning to, she emphasized her own point by grinding her thighs together. Her cheeks turned a brighter red as she noticed a faint slickness running down her legs. “That’s bad enough for single mares. W-They,” she quickly corrected, “just need to group up with a few friends and a cooler. But for those of us who actually have stallions…” she trailed off, eyes wandering back down to Thomas’ erection. Her lip quivered as a whimper escaped her mouth. “It’s just that much worse as our bodies scream to be bred.” She spoke the word as if describing the most mouthwatering dessert imaginable.
Observing the mix of want in Moonlight’s voice and reluctance in her body language left Thomas all the more confused. She wanted him, but didn’t want to? As he ruminated on this, he eventually became aware of just where the both of them were. They were deliberately standing apart from one another, staring at each other with fear and apprehension. Thomas had never been afraid of Moonlight before, and he didn’t like doing so now. In fact, he downright hated it. He hated being scared, but he also hated seeing how hurt Moonlight looked. His inner maleness compelled him to action. However, his inner cynic demanded that he learn more before doing anything. “Now, when you say ‘worse’?”
Moonlight’s nostrils flared as she licked her lips, still stealing glances of his erection. Her tail had begun wagging again, her body working on instinct to do what came naturally. There was simply no denying how much she wanted him in every sense of the word. “Right now, my body is screaming out for you, your smooth touch, those lovely sounds you make, and the feel of your seed to quell my,” she gulped, “fire.”
“Scale of one to ten?” It felt silly to ask, but he still wanted to know.
“If five is a normal day?” Moonlight contextualized. “Seventeen.”
“… shit.”
“If you want,” Moonlight offered without thinking. Neither of them had ever expressed interest in that sort of thing before. However, if he intended to take advantage of her frazzled state by experimenting with some new kink, as she heard some stallions liked to do, then she was all too happy to comply, so long as she got what she needed in the end.
“Wait. What are we even freaking out for?” Thomas asked, ignoring her allusion. “You just need to have sex, right? That’ll… water your fire?” he asked, uncertain of his proper use of the idiom.
Moonlight’s ears perked at Thomas’ interest. She nodded rapidly, anxious to seize upon any and all opportunities presented. “My flower demands your watering,” she whimpered.
“Then, uh, why are we acting like this?” Thomas waved his hands around, indicating the situation as a whole. “Sounds a lot like Luna on any normal day,” he said with a faint laugh. “Let’s just, um, do what we normally—”
“NO!” Moonlight screamed, causing Thomas to jump back in fright. No? No!? her libido screamed at her in admonishment. Your stallion is ready to offer himself up and do his duty, and you say ‘no’? What the buck is wrong with you!? Tears were forming under her eyes again, but she fought to maintain her sanity. “I… I can’t. It’s too early, and I don’t have protection.”
Thomas nodded in understanding, only to notice the calendar again. “You, uh, circled all of next week.”
“Of course, I did,” Moonlight exclaimed with a snarl, sounding offended. “It’s heat week. Every mare gets ready for heat week. I even went over it with extra marker after we started going out. Except…”
“Except?”
“I planned for next week,” she whimpered in frustration. “My heat’s supposed to be next week, but for some reason, it’s early, so I wasn’t able to take my usual precautions!”
“Alright,” Thomas agreed, nodding his reassurance. This seemed like a perfectly valid concern. “So, uh, if your heat is early, maybe I can go out and—”
“No!” Moonlight cried desperately. She jumped in front of the door and pressed her hands against the wood. “I… I can’t let you leave.” With her back now turned towards him, her tail flagged high as it continued to wag and spread her scent as far as it would go. She turned her head to face him, and her nostrils flared. “Wh-what if something were to happen to you? What if some heat-addled mare steals you away from me?”
“Okay! Okay,” Thomas reassured, trying to sound as calming as possible so as not to agitate the heat-addled mare further. He decided not to point out the obvious of her being early, meaning that no other mare would be in the same state as her. “So, uh, what is it that you need?”
“Besides your little stallion doing his job?” she growled and jutted her butt out, demanding he seize it as her vulva winked ferociously. “I need… oh!
“Oh?”
Moonlight made a break for the bathroom, tripping over herself more than once as she scrambled for the cabinet. “Where is it!? Where is it!?” she asked as she dug through the cabinet’s contents, flinging bottles of every shape and color behind her.
“Where is,” Thomas started to ask as he ducked down away from the incoming projectiles, “what?” It was hard not to look at Moonlight’s swaying rump as her tail remained flagged.
“Ah hah!” Moonlight triumphantly exclaimed as she held up a blue bottle. She flipped the cap open into her palm, violently shook out a pill, and tossed the open bottle over her shoulder, causing its contents to spill all over the floor. Then ducking her head under the sink, she turned on the water and downed the pill as she greedily drank.
Wary not to disturb her, Thomas tiptoed through the aftermath of scattered bottles until he found the one Moonlight had taken. “Chilled Heat,” he whispered. Below the label was a silhouette of an earth mare flexing her arms in triumph while a cloud rained snow upon her. For some reason, there were movement lines around her breasts and hips, possibly indicating that they were bouncing. Thomas read on. “Equestria’s most trusted contraceptive for two hundred years.” Thomas skimmed along, taking in all the details of what he was about to deal with. “100% guarantee infertility… five out of five doctors agree… may increase libido in some mares…” Thomas paused and reread that last line several times to make sure he saw it right. “God, help me.”
“Yesss,” Moonlight hissed seductively. “What did you need?”
The bottle fell from Thomas’ hands as Moonlight’s voice sent shivers up his spine. Was her voice always that sexy? He turned slowly to find Moonlight leaning in the doorway, posing in a way that emphasized her breasts and ass as she fluttered her eyelids at him. Gulping nervously, Thomas couldn’t help but question if the mare’s assets seemed a little plumper than usual. Wait… did I read that as one of the side effects? That’s some fast-acting drug! However, before the human could double-check, he was seized in Moonlight’s magical grip and lifted into the air.
“Oh, my poor stallion,” Moonlight cooed as she swaggered over to her captive, her butt and breasts swaying with each step. Then, smiling sensually, she cupped his cheek before running her hand down his chest and tracing his budding muscles. “How long has it been since you last felt my touch?”
“Uh, maybe five minutes?” Thomas offered, hoping to lighten the mood as he ignored the sound of dripping between the mare’s legs.
“For a mare in heat, that might as well be five years,” Moonlight whined pitifully. “Can’t you imagine what that’s like, how painful it is to be deprived of your love for so long?”
Though he did not enjoy being confined as he was, Thomas still managed a deadpan glare. “You were nuzzling my balls, like, ten minutes ago.”
“That long!?” Moonlight gasped in what sounded like genuine horror. “Oh, dear. We simply must make up for lost time.”
“I’m screwed, aren’t I?” Thomas asked flatly.
Moonlight flashed a toothy grin. “All. Night. Long.”
Thomas flinched, bracing himself for the mare’s inevitable full-body tackle, but it didn’t come. Instead, he looked up and met her expression. She looked anxious, ready to burst from excitement, but also expectant. Her tail was swishing in agitation, and her ears were fixed forward. Her eyes met his, and he could almost swear he saw the question burning in those shimmering blue orbs. “You’re asking permission?”
Moonlight gave an affirming whimper, grinding her thighs together like she had to pee. The burning was worse than ever as her body screamed at her to take action, but her mind was stronger. She fought her animal urges and waited as patiently as possible for her stallion to save her.
Thomas was thankful that the mare wasn’t about to force herself on him as she feared. She was still in control, but looked no less desperate than before. It hurt to see his love like this. He’d also heard the stories before, of how desperate mares became and how their herd stallions were expected to ‘uphold their obligations’ during this special time. And now, with the fear of unwanted pregnancy squashed and a mare’s aroused musk nearly drowning his senses, Thomas’ only desire was to ease his mare’s pain. So he leaned forward against the spell, pressed his nose lightly to hers, gave her lips a quick peck, and whispered, “I love you.”
That was all she needed to hear. Moonlight’s magic went out as she wrapped her hands around Thomas and slammed his body into hers. He was winded from the impact as she covered her mouth over his. One hand held under his backside, fingers digging almost painfully into his rump, while her other supported his back. Thomas quickly regained his breath and returned the kiss with equal passion. If a naïve foal, or a smart-mouthed adult, were to stumble in, they might ask why these two were trying to eat each other’s faces.
Moonlight moaned her delight as she tasted her stallion’s lips and tongue. However, there was no ignoring the hard, burning organ that was attempting to stab her stomach. Feeling her knees go weak, Moonlight managed to carry her stallion over to the bed just in time for her limbs to give out. They collapsed side by side, still locked in each other’s arms. “P-please,” she begged. “I need you.”
A look flashed in Thomas’ eyes that made Moonlight’s already pounding heart quicken. He sometimes got like this when she or any other mare said just the right thing to convey their desperation. It was like the typically timid stallion she’d fallen for would be momentarily overridden by a beast of lust; at least, that’s what she decided to pretend was happening.
The beast pulled away from her, making her heart sink and chest feel cold from the lack of contact. However, it was short-lived as he moved down her body, sliding his fingers over her stomach and teasing around her sex. The beast then grabbed under Moonlight’s knee and hefted it up. She helped, looping her leg over the beast’s shoulder as he sat upon her other thigh.
“You want it?” the beast growled as he glowered down at her, holding onto her leg for balance. “Then beg!”
“Please!” Moonlight cried. “Ah-I need you!”
“Really? Are you sure?” the beast growled as he pressed the tip of his cock against her marehood, allowing Moonlight’s soft, wet folds to wink around his tip, sending shudders through both of them.
“Y-yes!”
“Are you reaaaally s—”
“Just shut up and buck me!” the mare growled back.
“Hehe. Sorry.” Thomas laughed as his character broke. Still, an order was an order. Using Moonlight’s leg for leverage, he slid his hips forward, hilting himself in one go. Juices sprayed out with a wet, squelching sound. “Damn!” he grunted as he felt the mare’s burning insides envelop him. “How are you so smooth and so tight at the same time?”
Moonlight smirked wryly as her hands played with her breasts. “Looks like my body’s as impatient for you as I am.”
Taking the hint, Thomas nodded and began his thrusting. It was gentle at first, allowing them both to adjust to the feeling of their sexes sliding up against one another.
“I love this feeling,” Moonlight gasped. This was right. Every instinct and nerve in her body screamed in celebration. A stallion’s body was pressed up against her while his stallionhood filled her foal hole. It was everything nature demanded of them, and Moonlight couldn’t be happier to comply.
“I know you do,” Thomas beamed back and gave another gentle thrust.
Moonlight’s rapturous joy instantly fell to contemptuous rage. How dare you!? she mentally screamed. How dare my stallion make fun of his mare while she’s in such a tender and vulnerable state?
Thomas’ smile also fell when his eyes met Moonlight’s. He knew he’d done fucked up, and not in a good way.
Moonlight let out a beastly growl as she leaned forward and aggressively met Thomas’ lips with hers. Then, grabbing hold of Thomas’ butt, she used a combination of her new grip and the leg he was holding to take control over his movements. Granted, she could have done the same with magic, but this felt so much more satisfying. Roughly, she hilted him inside her, driving his coveted length much deeper than he could typically achieve under his own power. Carefully she then pulled him out, only to slam him in again. Moonlight quickly found a rhythm that met her needs and drove Thomas’ pelvis in and out like a piston.
On the human’s end, he was wondering if he was slowly turning into a masochist. Typically, even when mares dominated him, he liked to maintain a little bit of control. However, there was no arguing with his body’s reaction to Moonlight’s rough play as she buried him deep within her. Then again, it might have just been a combination of their bodies making all manner of lewd slapping and shlicking noises, along with her smell of arousal and just the sheer delightful friction of her sex. All added up to what he felt was a close approximation of a mare’s heat-addled mind.
Feeling the familiar twitch of her human’s testicles, Moonlight hilted herself one more time on her stallion’s erection. It was as though time slowed down as her sensitive vaginal muscles felt the subtle swelling of his length, signaling the seed that poured up through his love handle. Thomas cried out a warning, but Moonlight could only hear a steady ringing in her ears as she felt his hot batter erupt into her. Her mouth opened, but her breath caught from the intensity of the sexual stimulation as her spasming muscles milked him for all he was worth.
Thomas would have collapsed, were it not for Moonlight’s leg still propping him up. “That was,” he panted, “intense.”
Moonlight hummed contentedly as the hand that had been gripping his butt moved around to press just below her belly. “It’s so warm, but I feel cooled,” she purred.
Thomas smiled proudly down at Moonlight as she pressed her fingers down against her skin, lightly compressing his wilted dick inside her. He’d given her this feeling, and he couldn’t be happier. “Happy to be of service.” Wait… service? Something about that word gave the human an uneasy feeling.
“Something wrong?” Moonlight cooed disinterestedly. She was feeling far too good to care about anything else at the moment.
“Uh, if this is your heat weak…” Thomas suddenly coughed, feeling his throat go dry.
“Thomas?” Moonlight asked in alarm, her stallion’s plight breaking her from her post-orgasm high.
“Uh…” There was no easy way to say this. “Wh-what about Luna?”
Moonlight blanched as she suddenly bolted upright, inadvertently sandwiching Thomas between her powerful legs. “Luna’s teats, we’re late!”
Moonlight leaped out of bed with the prowess of an Olympic sprinter, carrying Thomas in her magic. They rushed through an accelerated version of their morning routine; showering, dental hygiene, dressing, and all in ten seconds flat. “Oh, Faust,” she whined as she slipped on the last of her armor. “Luna’s gonna kill me.”
The human’s stomach gave an audible growl as Moonlight darted out the door and down the castle corridor, giving no mind to how unprofessional she might have looked as she levitated Thomas behind her. Unable to do anything else, Thomas was left to his own thoughts as he limply watched the scenery run by. He’d half expected the castle to look understaffed with only a skeleton crew of stallions, before remembering how Moonlight said her heat was early. It was somewhat amusing to consider how these ponies, who customarily held such absolute control over the world around them, were still susceptible to the random whims of nature. Even so, it still hurt to see Moonlight like this. Hopefully, Luna might have some answers, or could at least summon whatever precautions Moonlight had mentioned.
Moonlight came to a sliding halt in front of Luna’s door, panting tiredly from the exertion. The guards tensed from her sudden appearance, but quickly relaxed when they saw who she was. One even gave her an approving smile, which she failed to notice as she entered with Thomas still in tow. Upon crossing the magical threshold, the pair were met by the surprised expressions of the harem eating breakfast together.
“Oh, wonderful. I was wondering when the two of you would arrive,” Luna greeted as she waved them over.
“Luna!” Moonlight desperately cried as she closed the door behind her.
“Hey guys,” Thomas greeted with a wave, still held in Moonlight’s levitation.
“M-my heat,” the unicorn confessed. “It’s… early!”
The stunned expressions on the other mares’ faces were quickly washed away by the looks of sympathy as they all climbed to their hooves and surrounded Moonlight.
“Easy there, sugar,” Honey consoled. She set her hands comfortingly on the smaller mare’s shoulders in a gesture of support, but also a precaution against any unexpected actions.
“We’ve got you,” Surprise chimed in, pulling Moonlight into a half hug and draping her breasts over the unicorn.
“Are you okay, Thomas?” Silver asked as she worriedly looked him over. Given Moonlight’s panic, the bat mare feared her unicorn friend might have gotten carried away and hurt her stallion. Her mind had gone to the same place as Moonlight’s, about the stories of overeager mares getting carried away and injuring their stallions. These stories usually involved earth mares and pegasus stallions, but she figured the differences between a unicorn mare and Thomas were equitable.
“Yeah. I’m good,” he replied, noting the look of relief on the others. “But what about Moonlight?”
“Fear not, Moony,” Luna said, sounding oddly authoritative as she hurried over and took the unicorn in her arms in a full, breasty embrace. “We are here for you.”
Moonlight let out a calming breath as she settled into the comforting softness of Luna’s bosom. Her magic ebbed until Thomas was back down on his feet. “I… it’s early,” she said again, sounding like she was trying to excuse her actions.
“Be still, my little Moony,” Luna hushed and stroked the back of Moonlight’s mane. She shot a brief apologetic look at Thomas as she lifted Moonlight into her arms, carrying her bridal style to the bed. She also focused her gaze on Silver and motioned her to the bathroom. The bat mare nodded and zipped through the air to the medicine cabinet, all while Luna laid the unicorn belly down on the bed and quickly relieved her of her armor.
“Can someone please explain to me what’s going on?” Thomas asked. “Moonlight said she’s in heat, that it’s early, and I don’t—”
“Here,” Silver said, cutting the human off as she handed him a bottle of a clear liquid. “You will need this for later.”
“Thomas!” Moonlight cried, reaching out for him even as Luna held her in place. Her eyes pained in dejection as she looked upon her stallion. He was ignoring her in her time of need. How could he do this to me? Her eyes drifted towards Silver, and her lips curled into a snarl. Damn you, Silver! How dare you try and keep my stallion from me? You vile, no-good, wretched little… what’s that? Her gaze drifted over the bottle, recognizing it instantly as one of the stamina potions Thomas often used whenever Luna was getting especially frisky. Oh, thank Faust for you, Silver! Happy tears were building in her eyes, momentarily blinding her to the familiar glow and twinkle coming from behind her. You know just what my stallion needs to help me. If Luna weren’t holding me down, right now, I swear I’d… “Eep,” she squeaked.
Moonlight craned her head back, and her jaw dropped the short distance to the covers. Luna had conjured her stallionhood, its tremendous length already unsheathed and wedged tightly betwixt Moonlight’s relatively minuscule butt cheeks. It was longer than Thomas’, thicker than Thomas’, hotter than Thomas’, and had the familiar equine shape she’d been accustomed to fantasizing about ever since her first heat. There was but one fatal flaw that Moonlight was able to distinguish, and for her heat-addle brain to take umbrage with. It wasn’t Thomas’. As much as she cared for Luna and would gratefully accept this gift, Luna wasn’t her stallion. Thomas was. Luna’s magnificent shaft, envy of stallions as it was, would be a quaint diversion until Thomas was ready to give her what her body really needed.
“You’ll want to eat something first,” Surprise advised after materializing behind Thomas and pushed him over to the table. “It’s not healthy to live only off stimulants.”
“Hey, wait!” Thomas countered and stepped aside, unwilling to let himself be pushed or carried around any further. “What about—”
“Nnngh!”
Moonlight’s moan of delight cut the human short as he saw that Luna had fully hilted herself in the unicorn’s love tunnel.
Having just intensely expended himself, Thomas’ limp manhood still managed a faint twitch at the sight.
“Don’t worry ‘bout her, sugar,” Honey assured and gave the human a quick peck on the cheek. “Luna’s got her taken care of, but you need to get somethin’ in that scrawny belly o’ yours.” She patted his belly playfully and gestured back at the table where a short stack of pancakes laid waiting.
Thomas’ stomach gurgled at the sight. He really wanted to eat, but he still glanced worriedly back at Moonlight. Luna was thrusting into her, alternating between long, smooth strokes and quick, rapid ones. Moonlight’s panic and desperation from earlier had been replaced with blissful contentment as she cried out, “Harder!”
It was weird for Thomas to watch this. Luna’s cock had become an increasingly common guest in their nightly debaucheries. And while the Princess never attempted to coerce the human into doing anything with it, much as she wanted to, she had considerably less restraint on using it on all the other mares in the harem. This, of course, went for Moonlight, who frequently found herself spit-roasted. However, Moonlight always seemed to prefer Thomas taking the back end while Luna or one of the other mares took her mouth.
Thomas realized that he was feeling jealous, even possessive of Moonlight’s pussy. He quickly smothered these feelings as ludicrous. The harem was an implicit contract to open sex for all involved, which Thomas had frequently taken advantage of. Yet now, remembering Moonlight’s prior desperation and his sense of pride at granting her calm, Thomas felt as though Luna was somehow stealing away what was rightfully his. Thankfully, this feeling was small and easily pushed aside as Thomas donned a contented face and sighed his relief. “So, you guys are going to start explaining things, right?”
The mares nodded, and Thomas conceded.
After wetting his throat with a glass of juice, Thomas sat down with Honey and Surprise and began eating. The mares explained the basics of heat, all while the sounds of sex accented the background. Heat was the biannual event when mares got super horny as their bodies craved stallion seed. Coolers and contraceptives were used among mares without stallions, or mares with stallions who didn’t want to get pregnant. However, these were all things Thomas was quite familiar with. Of greater concern was Moonlight’s mental state and what he could do to help.
“Why’d her heat happen early, anyway?” he eventually asked between eager bites. He’d been hungrier than he thought. “I mean, she’d circled all of next week, so why’s this happening now?”
“Must not have heard her pro-estrus,” Surprise commented idly, trying very hard not to look at the scene happening just outside her peripheral vision. She was trying equally hard not to touch herself when Moonlight gave an especially cheerful whinny.
“Pro-what?” Thomas asked.
“Ya know how squirrels ‘n’ chipmunks get this urge ta gather up as much food as they can ‘n’ store it away fer the winter?” Honey asked. “Well, pro-estrus, or pre-heat, is like that for mares. It’s that time when our bodies start talkin’ to us, tellin’ us we need ta start gatherin’ up all the essentials for the comin’ heat.”
Surprise cut in, anticipating Thomas’ next question, and listed off on her fingers. “Sexy costumes, fine wine, every kind of aphrodisiac under the stars, literally TONS of stamina potions,” she stressed, “and also plenty of food and water.”
“Oh, buck, yes!” Moonlight wailed.
Thomas looked between the tall mares, confirming that they were both fidgeting and deliberately trying not to look at what was happening. However, there was something new on his mind as he noticed one mare was missing. “Um, where’s Sil—”
“Deeper!” Luna demanded. “Tongue the royal plot hole deeper!”
Luna’s demand ensured that Thomas’ question was thoroughly answered.
“Well, sometimes that’s just how the cookie crumbles,” Surprise shrugged noncommittally. “Usually, mares in the same region all have their heats at about the same time, but there’s always those few who turn up a little early, or even late.”
“Don’t go worryin’ when ya don’t see me much week after next,” Honey informed, sipping a glass of her own juice. “Ah’ll be hunkerin’ down with Jona ‘n’ Plow ‘till things cool down.” She smiled and took another sip. “Think Ah’ll get me one o’ them new night guard uniforms. Jona’s been givin’ them some pretty long looks.”
Thomas nodded, taking the moment of relative silence to process what he’d just learned. Wine and costumes? Yeah. Frisky mares getting a little kinky, but also a little romantic to boot. Talking analytically about things would have probably been a lot more helpful if the three mares weren’t still humping each other’s brains out just out of sight.
“Urgh!” “Gah!” “Mmh!” The mares cried out in synchronized ecstasy, followed by the sound of a compressed mattress as they collapsed over one another.
**********
(5 minutes later)
Luna was back to sitting at the table as she finished off her small mountain of food. Moonlight ate greedily from her own plate as she sat in Luna’s lap, still impaled on the alicorn’s mammoth cock. Silver sat beside the pair, though she ate with considerably less vigor. All three mares’ faces were flushed, their manes and tails heavily disheveled, and sweat matted much of their fur. Luna hadn’t even bothered to give her mane its usual wavy enchantment yet.
Still concerned for his mare, Thomas leaned forward and quietly whispered, “You, um, okay?”
Moonlight sat up with a start, startling the human back. Her eyes fixed upon him, the source of that painfully masculine voice. It hadn’t yet clicked in her brain as to what exactly he’d said. All Moonlight knew was that she wanted him to talk to her like that for the rest of her-
“Moonlight,” Luna said, giving the mare in her lap a gentle shake.
The unicorn blinked as she came down from her reverie. “What? Oh!” Thomas’ words finally touched her brain as she smiled apologetically back at him. “Yes, Thomas,” she panted. “I’m doing much better… now,” she quantified and twisted herself in Luna’s lap, moaning as she felt the exquisite friction of the alicorn dick inside her. Then, looking down at her belly, she hummed in contemplation at the noticeable bulge Luna’s stallionhood made inside her. It was nearly up to her ribcage.
Thomas grimaced, not liking how Moonlight still didn’t look all there, especially as she rubbed her belly bulge.
Luna cleared her throat, once more bringing Moonlight back to reality.
“Oh? Oh! Please don’t look at me that way,” Moonlight begged of her stallion. Her ears were splayed in the shame of taking another stallionhood and neglecting her real stallion what was rightfully his. “I swear I’m not choosing Luna over you.”
Thomas was taken aback. “What?”
Surprise slapped her hand over her mouth, just barely halting a snorting laugh from escaping. Silver frowned disapprovingly at the white pegasus while Honey just rolled her eyes with a faint smirk.
“What?” Moonlight asked back, seemingly unaware of how she was now rocking back and forth in Luna’s lap. “What’s wrong?”
Thomas stared back at her in disbelief. “You!” he shouted, gesturing up and down her nude and disheveled form. He would have said more, clarified how distressed he’d been ever since this morning, but then she flinched back and tried to sink deeper into Luna. The alicorn held her in place, but offered Thomas a gentle yet warning look.
“Sorry,” Moonlight squeaked, sending an arrow of guilt straight through Thomas’ heart.
Thomas nodded his acknowledgment to Luna. Right. Be gentle. He took a breath and tried to collect his words. “I’m not mad.”
Moonlight perked up faintly. “Y-you’re not?”
Thomas felt like a parent trying very carefully to inform a child of all she had done wrong. “I’m worried about you, Moonlight,” he said sincerely. “You’ve just been in a mess ever since we woke up, and… I just want you to be alright.”
Moonlight’s eyes began to water. “So… you’re not upset that I,” she gestured down at her bulging middle, “with her?”
Thomas fixed the mare with his finest deadpan stare. “You were doing that just a couple of nights ago. Why would I be upset now?” he asked, pretending his earlier jealousy hadn’t happened.
“B-because you’re my stallion!” she countered, speaking the words as though it should have been obvious. “It’s your…” Moonlight was about to say something along the lines of ‘responsibility,’ but thought better of it. Saying something like that just sounded wrong at the moment, like she was imposing some sort of responsibility upon him. It felt especially wrong when she remembered that her stallion was not, in fact, a stallion. He was a human, a foreigner who had not been coached in the ways of taking care of mares since foalhood. Imposing such expectations on him now would be nothing short of unfair.
“‘Tis your duty as her stallion,” Luna finished, feeling the way Moonlight tensed around her shaft. As the unicorn shot her an I-can’t-believe-you-said-that look, the Princess countered with a look that flatly declared deal-with-it. “Such is the unspoken contract between herded ponies, which I am certain Moonlight had every intension of explaining to you,” she finished with a look of warning upon the orange mare.
“… was gonna do that today, actually,” Moonlight mumbled guiltily. Of course, stallions had to take care of their mares in heat. Still, the mares were responsible for making all necessary preparations beforehand, such as telling the stallions what would be expected of them.
“Contract?” Thomas asked, recalling how he’d once read about the social contract of marriage. “Like how marriage is guys providing resources and protection, and girls giving sex and babies?”
Luna chuckled softly. “Is that how it works for human herds?”
“Monogamous relationships,” Thomas corrected, “but pretty much.”
“The comparisons between our cultures never fail to amuse,” Luna cooed. “The same principle, but the pony way is the reverse. Traditionally, ‘tis the mares who provide resources and protection for their stallions. In exchange, stallions cool a mare’s heat and grant her foals.”
Interesting way of looking at it, Thomas thought with a nod. “Yeah. That’s fine and all, but,” he gestured once more at Moonlight. “You said there were preparations you needed to make. And should I be concerned that you’re so…” he searched briefly for the right word, “early?”
“Be at ease, my little human,” Luna cooed as she gently stroked Moonlight’s back. “The preparations are as Honey described: sustenance, toys, contraceptives, and so on. All are at my beck and call,” she reminded the unicorn, smiling when Moonlight sighed in relief. “As for the timing of her heat, well, I am sorry to say there is no real answer. As Surprise said, some mares are just early. I sense nothing amiss within her, and thus no reason to fret.”
Thomas also sighed, smiling thankfully at the calm demeanor of Luna and the others. Their body language assured him that all was normal and well. It was a refreshing change from Moonlight’s former panic. “Right. So, she’s just super horny and needs to be,” he paused, remembering the analogy, “cooled off.”
Moonlight whined disjointedly, sending Thomas back to confusion while earning chuckles from the other concubines.
“She needs you, sugar,” Honey emphasized. “You’re her stallion. That means her marehood ain’t settelin’ fer any less. Sure it’s kinda selfish,” she conceded with a shrug, “but that’s jus’ how mares get this time o’ year. Take it from somepony who knows.” Her smile held a faint trace of guilt.
“Neither of us have stallions,” Silver continued as she gestured between herself and Surprise. “So the urges aren’t as strong with us. We can make do with coolers, and…” her gaze trailed down Moonlight’s body to the very visible bulge of Luna’s dick inside her. Any high ground intellectualism she might have been going for was undone as her wings flared, and she licked her lips.
“Well, there’s you,” Surprise chirped, indicating Thomas. “Well, not really, though. You’re a stallion we love and love to buck a lot, but we’re not really into you like that. It’s love, but not love-love, if you know what I mean. You’re more like one of the girls, somepony we can hang out with and buck whenever the need arises, but it’s just something between friends, ya know?”
Despite the white mare’s ramble, Thomas felt he understood her well enough. They were just friends, really good friends that liked doing the nasty every chance they got, but there was nothing really romantic behind it, at least not as far as they were concerned. It was a friendly thing without any hormones to muddy the issue. One of the girls, eh? he thought in amusement.
Moonlight squeaked and nodded appreciatively at her fellow concubines for their respective contributions. Then, to emphasize her point, she stared down at the table, her gaze threatening to bore a hole straight through the wood to her coveted prize below.
Thomas looked into Moonlight’s eyes, a little pained that she was unable to meet his gaze. She was still under the control of her hormones. At the same time, the human found himself feeling more than a little grateful. He really liked the idea of him being hers, the one she craved above all others. Even with Luna’s objectively better monster penetrating her, Moonlight still had eyes for only one cock. It was nice to be wanted.
A little over an hour had passed since Thomas had learned the ins and outs of a mare’s heat. Since then, he’d been doing the old in-out with a very special mare in heat. After informing the pair that they’d been relieved of their obligations for the evening, and sharing a whispered conversation with Moonlight, Luna had gone to fulfill her nightly duties. The alicorn carried Silver under her dress, which seemed to be an arrangement that both had come to favor. This left Surprise and Honey to aid Thomas in keeping his mare cooled.
Thomas groaned and collapsed onto Moonlight’s back, having just released yet another ejaculation into the mare. He curled himself up behind her, hugging tightly against her back as they lay on their sides. He kept his dick plugged into Moonlight’s foal hole. It was Surprise’s idea to keep his semen inside to extend his mare’s lucidity.
“Oh, Luna, yes,” Moonlight groaned and rotated her hips against her stallion’s pelvis as she strangled the life out of a pillow. “That was, mmh, nice.” She clenched her vaginal walls around his limp cock in an attempt to squeeze out any remaining drops.
“Ain’t nothin’ quite like heat sex, huh?” Honey asked as she sat her naked rump down beside the pair. They just looked too cute together. “Ya’ll look jus’ like Jona ‘n’ Plow, only in reverse,” she joked. Though she didn’t know the word, Honey knew that ponies had sexual dimorphism. It was obvious to anypony with eyes that most stallions had several solid inches over mares. This was why, despite their time together, the earth mare was still amused to see such a little stallion playing big spoon.
There was a flash as Surprise snapped a photo. “Oh, yeah, this is going in the album.”
“Album?” Honey asked. “When’d you get an album?”
“Oh, I’ve always had one,” Surprise replied, pulled a large book out of nowhere, and opened it to about a third of the way through. “See,” she pointed at a page full of pictures. “This was Attentive Eye on the night of my interview.” The unicorn scowled up at the viewer, condemning them for looking upon her as she sorted through her paperwork. “And this was us getting ready for our first night of work.” The picture showed Surprise smiling and giving a V sign to the camera while Honey stood behind her, looking away and only half-dressed.
“Ah don’t remember that.”
“And here’s our first trip to the gym, my first date with Thomas and Moonlight, then my next first date with Silver and Luna, and then all the first times I had sex with everypony.” Surprise listed off each event and pointed at its respective picture. Each time it looked like the others weren’t aware of the pictures being taken, even if they were facing the camera.
Honey decided not to comment on this and simply smile as Surprise set the photo of Thomas and Moonlight onto the new page.
“And here we have Moonlight’s first heat with a stallion,” Surprise cooed as she wrote down the caption. “So cute.”
“Speakin’ o’ which,” Honey turned back to the pair on the bed. Moonlight was grinding her plot into Thomas’ groin, indicating she wasn’t quite satisfied just yet. “Hey, little guy. Ya up fer ‘nother round?”
Thomas groaned even as he continued to smile. “I can’t feel my legs,” he admitted, too exhausted to feel any kind of shame or inadequacy.
“Ah’ll take that as a ‘no,’” Honey replied and looked over to Surprise. “‘Cept Moonlight’s still burnin’ up. So who wants ta go first?”
“Thaaanks,” Moonlight groaned. Maybe it was just the heat talking, but she was so grateful to have such good friends willing to satiate her physical needs.
Surprise shrugged indifferently. It didn’t really matter to her who went first. By the look of it, Moonlight only needed one more good orgasm before she was satisfied, at least, for the next few hours. As such, she fished out a bit from her golden mane. “Flip for it?”
Honey nodded. “Tails says yer first.”
Surprise flipped the coin overhead, watched it spin while in midair, then caught it and slammed the piece of metal on the back of her hand. “Heads,” she announced and offered the coin for Honey to see.
Honey smiled at seeing the face of Princess Celestia smile back at her. “Fair’s fair,” she conceded and moseyed over to where they’d set up the cooler. It was a simple, well-practiced matter to strap the apparatus around her waist and between her legs. The long, black, rubbery dildo stood out in a permanent state of erection.
“What’s so funny?” Surprise asked as she watched Honey thrust out and make the dildo bounce, giggling like a toddler that had just discovered the comedic gold of funny voices.
“Nothin’,” the earth mare chuckled. “Ah jus’ always found it kinda funny ta have somethin’ swingin’ around down there.” She emphasized her point with a waggle of her hips to play with the weight.
“Mmngh,” Moonlight groaned, incoherently ordering the two to get on with it.
“Sorry, sugar,” Honey chirped and came up behind the bedfellows. She briefly paused, amusing herself by casting a shadow over the pair with her new equipment, but quickly resumed her work. Ever so gently, she extracted Thomas from his perch, feeling just the slightest twinge of guilt at hearing the way both mare and man moaned in protest. Still, she pressed on, turning the unicorn back onto her belly and parting her ass enough to grant a clear view of her nethers. Moonlight’s slit winked urgently, desperately craving something to fill it once more. It glistened with a mixture of her own love juices as well as those that had cum before. With how tight she looked, one would have never guessed she’d already taken a penis roughly the size of her arm. Her anus looked just as tight and enticing, quivering just a little in a plea for attention.
Honey couldn’t help but sample the dish laid out before her. She relished in the needful sound Moonlight made as she pressed her muzzle deep into the unicorn’s privates and strongly inhaled. The combined odor from three different genitals was nothing short of heavenly. She flicked her tongue out for a quick dab, only to find that just one was not enough. Grabbing tightly around Moonlight’s hips, Honey lifted the mare up a short way and propped her up on her knees. Her tongue probed deeply into Moonlight’s marehood, greedily claiming any residual semen for her own enjoyment. Yet Moonlight was in no position to complain as she twisted and writhed under the earth mare’s expert touch.
“Is it good?” Surprise asked.
Honey grinned as she looked over at the pegasus, never ceasing in her meal. Surprise was lying on her back just beside the other mares. Thomas rested atop her, using her plush body as bedding and pert breasts as pillows. A hand gently stroked along the little human’s bareback, coaxing his tired form to drift off to sleep. Honey cooed into Moonlight’s snatch as she finally ceased in her licking.
“Now that right there is cute,” Honey declared as she licked her lips clean and got herself into position.
“Think so?” Surprise asked as she continued her petting. “The little guy just looked so tired, and my mommy used to do this for me when I was his size.”
“Same,” Honey agreed casually. Now behind Moonlight with her knees to either side of the mare’s pelvis, she lined the tip up with the needy mare’s winking slit. “Here Ah come, sugar!” she announced and thrust her hips forward.
Moonlight moaned into the bedsheets as she felt inch after inch of the apparatus sink within her depths. Of all the dicks she’d taken so far, this one ranked second in size, but third in overall satisfaction. Luna’s python might not have had the same appeal as Thomas’ relatively diminutive soldier, but at least it was alive and warm. The cooler had no heat, pulse, or any other indicator that it belonged to a living, breathing stallion that could breed her. Such had never bothered her in past heats, but now that she’d experienced the real deal, the comparison was impossible not to make.
This thing can’t breed me, Moonlight thought resentfully, forgetting the contraceptives she’d taken earlier.
Spying the look on the unicorn’s face, Honey smirked and motioned for Surprise to also see.
“Aww,” the white mare cooed teasingly, catching Moonlight off guard. “Not as good as the real thing, huh?”
Moonlight blushed and lowered her face in embarrassment, feeling ashamed at her ungrateful thoughts. “N-no.” She gave a faint yelp as she felt the dildo’s medial ring pass through her vulva and over her clit.
Honey laughed good-naturedly as she hilted herself in Moonlight, her thighs pressing against the unicorn’s plumper-than-usual ass. “‘Salright, sugar,” she moaned as she allowed Moonlight to adjust to the new pressure inside her. Of course, it wasn’t really necessary, especially given how adaptable a mare’s body was, let alone a heated mare, but it was still polite. “We’ve all been there before.”
Moonlight cooed contentedly. The feeling of Honey’s warm pelvis against her extra sensitive plot was doing wonders to improve her mood. Soon enough, her body came to accept its substitute stallionhood. Her mind much more lucid than before, she scanned the immediate area until she spied Thomas resting atop Surprise. “Aww. Did I tucker the poor guy out?” she asked with a somewhat guilty laugh.
“Only a little,” Surprise replied as she stroked along the human’s back. She sighed at his contentment. “Honey’s gonna give you one last major buck, so that should keep you satisfied for a few hours.”
Moonlight appreciatively nodded as she looked on these mares with new eyes. Of course, mares helping one another in heat was a given. It was just something good friends did to help each other through a difficult period, with no real strings attached afterward. But what these two were doing, taking care of her stallion while he recuperated, went above and beyond the usual call of duty. “Thank you so much for helping me… us,” she amended. “You two are just the best.”
“Ain’t no problem, sugar,” Honey assured as she caressed Moonlight’s ass cheek and brushed a thumb over her puckered anus.
“I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else,” Surprise declared as her hand roamed down Thomas’ back and rested upon his pert little behind. A lascivious smile grew on her face. “If you know what I mean.”
Moonlight would have agreed, but her mouth opened in a silent scream instead. Honey had just stabbed her middle and ring fingers all the way into Moonlight’s sensitive anus and began her pounding in earnest.
“Aw, yeah,” Honey cheered as she slammed her hips forward. “Now we’re cookin’!”
Moonlight moaned her agreement. She’d done a little experimenting with anal in the past, but found it never really did anything for her. Then again, that had only ever been with coolers, something every mare and their grandma agreed wasn’t real sex. But right now, feeling Honey’s digits probe away at her, stretching her out while the cooler made her feel just so incredibly full, she wondered how she had ever done without.
Honey was rotating her hips now, her movements more closely resembling a crank than a piston. That, however, didn’t stop her from knocking the smaller mare forward with each thrust. The sounds Moonlight made were getting her wet, but she still had a job to do. She bent forward, pressing her full breasts into the unicorn’s back in that way all mares liked. It just wasn’t satisfying unless she felt another body draped around hers. It would only be a matter of time, now.
Moonlight grunted as she felt the fire within reach its crescendo. “C-cumming!” she warned.
Honey grinned and gave Moonlight’s flank a smack for good measure. The orange mare threw her head back and cried in ecstasy as her juices sprayed all over the substitute stallionhood and its wielder. Not a second later, Honey flipped the switch on the side of the cooler, and the artificial balls emptied their liquid contents into Moonlight’s hole. Honey sympathetically grinned as she watched Moonlight’s face relax into pure contentment. Her heat had been cooled… for now.
**********
Thomas awoke to feel refreshed from his power nap. The familiar texture of Moonlight’s fur was beneath his chest, and the familiar touches of her hands were upon his back and backside. Her breasts were definitely bigger than usual. Thomas smiled to himself at his ability to discern this just by resting his face against their underside.
“How’s my little stallion doing,” Moonlight purred as she caressed him.
“Can’t complain,” Thomas said simply, only to remember his mare’s prior distress. “And you?”
“Mmh… Much better,” Moonlight said with a contented sigh as her body gave a faint shudder. “Honey helped to cool me down, so I should be alright for a while.”
“Happy to help,” Honey said from outside Thomas’ field of vision, which was parimarily taken up by orange unicorn boobies.
“So, uh, does this mean I can get up?”
“Hmm,” Moonlight hummed thoughtfully.
Even with his vision obstructed, Thomas could have sworn he saw a playful glint in her eyes.
“No,” she flatly replied.
“Seriously?” Thomas asked. He tried to push up off of her, but found the allure of her plus-sized breasts to be too captivating. Also, she was using her superior pony strength to hold him in place. “Why not?”
“Because you’re my stallion, and I’m in heat.” Moonlight’s statement was matter-of-fact, but also had a waiver of neediness. “What am I supposed to do without you?”
Thomas frowned into Moonlight’s cleavage as he heard the sound of giggles coming from behind. “But I have to pee.”
“Oh, well why didn’t you say so?” Moonlight asked with a laugh as she sat up, carrying Thomas with her. Then, still holding him tightly to her chest, Moonlight spun the human outwards, allowing him to finally see the outside world.
All was how he remembered it, except for Honey and Surprise at the table playing cards.
“Hey there, stud,” Surprise greeted with an excited wave, like a child desperate for their parent’s attention. “Feeling up to any work tonight?”
Thomas looked down at his flaccid cock, contemplated it a moment, and then shook his head. Both Surprise and Moonlight laughed. Honey, however, was still staring intently at her cards and gave the human a disinterested wave.
“We’re off duty for the rest of the night, remember?” Moonlight informed as she hefted Thomas up, grabbing under his thighs for leverage. The result was her spreading his legs out to either side, leaving nothing to the imagination as her breasts and hard nipples pressed firmly against his back. Surprise snickered at both the display and Thomas’ sudden onset of embarrassment. Moonlight hummed to herself as she nuzzled the back of Thomas’ head.
“Luna said I was on medical leave, you know, after she finished bucking me with her long, meaty cock.” Moonlight’s voice was a sexy growl as she carried her stallion to the bathroom, opening the door with magic. “We’re excused from our usual nightly duties, but once the night court ends…” She trailed off, leaving the implications unsaid and the door open.
Thomas laughed nervously, not too keen on the idea of tending to Luna and Moonlight when both were at Luna’s level of horniness. However, a more pertinent question presented itself. “So, are you going to let me down now?”
Moonlight giggled at the absurdity of his question. “I can’t do that, Thomas. What if something happens when I’m not around?”
Thomas frowned, not liking where this was going. “So you want me to go—” he gestured at the toilet, “—from up here?”
“Say it again,” Moonlight moaned.
Thomas hadn’t been expecting that. “What?”
“It doesn’t matter what,” Moonlight admitted. Her body gave another shudder. “Just speak to me. I need to hear that voice of yours.”
“It’s the heat,” Surprise called from the main room. “It makes you sound super sexy and masculine to her.”
“Seriously?” Thomas called back.
“Seriously. You could say the unsexiest thing possible, and she’d still think you were crooning her.”
Somewhere, in the deepest, darkest recesses of the human’s mind, a thought flickered. It was a little thing at first, almost too small to be of any notice. It didn’t stay little for long. The thought grew, swelling with momentum as it raced to the forefront of his mind. There, it presented itself in all its glory and rationale as the best idea in the history of ever. Challenge accepted!
“Hey, Moonlight,” Thomas said, hiding his grin.
“Yes, nngh, my melodious stallion,” Moonlight groaned. “What is it you wish to say to me?”
As much as Thomas was enjoying her infatuation with him, as well as the power he now wielded, his bladder was starting to hurt. He’d make it up to her and himself later. But right now, drastic action was called for. He took a deep breath and readied his charm. “Ducks rock,” he declared with a questioning inflection.
Moonlight snapped to attention, looking like she’d just come out of a trance. A vaguely disgusted look appeared on her face as she got her bearings. “Where’d I go just now?”
Thomas smiled, taking the fact that her nipples were no longer hard as evidence that his plan had worked. In hindsight, it was an incredibly stupid and juvenile thing, but Thomas was beginning to learn that such notions held a much different meaning in this world. “Hey, Moonlight.”
Moonlight looked down at Thomas, blinking in confusion at how and where she held him. “Thomas?”
“Really gotta pee and would like to get down now,” he informed.
Moonlight’s ears splayed as she recalled her prior intentions. “Sorry,” she squeaked and set him down.
“Thanks.” Turning around, Thomas sat himself down on his own specially sized toilet, only to find Moonlight staring intently down at him. “You, uh, just going to keep standing there?”
Moonlight shrugged and smiled guiltily. “Sorry, but if I lose track of you, I might go into another panic.”
“She ain’t lyin’,” Honey called. “A mare in heat gets awful possessive of her stallion.”
Thomas stared in disbelief at the mare through the bathroom wall. “But I have to poop.”
“I don’t mind,” Moonlight assured. She was starting to get that look in her eye again.
Thomas stared flatly up at her. “I can’t go number two with someone staring at me.”
Moonlight frowned her confusion. “Number two?”
Thomas groaned in exasperation, not in the mood for idiom confusion. “Could you just turn around for a little bit, and maybe turn on the sink, too?”
“B-but…” Moonlight stammered, not liking the idea of letting her stallion out of her sight for even a second. “Wh-what if…” Her mind raced with the myriad of horrors that might befall her beloved stallion without her watching him, the most plausible of which was the micro hurricane.
“I’ll hold your hand,” Thomas offered and extended his hand up to her. He smiled when he saw her eyeing it like it was a winning lottery ticket. “Turn on the sink, and I’ll even sing for you.”
Moonlight’s horn lit and turned on every faucet in the bathroom. Then, after spinning around, she briefly groped at the open-air behind her, only to give an audible sigh of relief when her fingers touched his. She gripped them as though they were some sort of lifeline, the only thing keeping her mind anchored and sane.
“Nice compromise,” Surprise whispered as she adjusted the cards in her hand.
“No kiddin’,” Honey agreed, eyeing her opponent warily. “Ah remember Big Plow ‘n our first heat together.” She smiled at the memory. “He weren’t the shy type, so it weren’t an issue.” She licked her lips, ready to make her move. “Got any threes?”
“Aww. Too bad,” Surprise taunted in answer. “Guess you gotta go fissssh,” she said with a hiss.
Meanwhile, Thomas was going through his own trial as he attempted to poop in only the flimsiest definition of privacy. Singing ‘Can You Feel the Love Tonight’ wasn’t just awkward because of the setting, but because he had to regularly pause and grunt while doing his business.
“Don’t stop!” Moonlight urged after Thomas paused for too long. “Don’t you ever stop.”
Thomas blinked in surprise at the intensity of emotion in her voice, so he did as bid. He quickly finished his business, flushed the toilet, and moved to wash his hands, all while continuing to serenade his mare. When all was said and done, she scooped him up and carried him bridal style out of the bathroom.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I’m so lucky I found a stallion as thoughtful as you.”
The cynic in Thomas demanded he point out the absurdity of serenading in a bathroom while pooping and holding her hand like she was a needy child. As such, Thomas’ inner cynic was whacked over the head with a frying pan, tied up, and carried off to parts unknown, all of which were looked upon with approval by Surprise. Instead, the human listened to his inner cock-sure jock. “Yes, you are.”
**********
“This is so weird,” Thomas admitted to all those present. Someone had to say it.
“What’s so weird about it?” Surprise asked as she worked her fingers.
Thomas sighed and looked down to take in the entire scene. Surprise was currently fingering Moonlight’s twat, causing her to writhe and squirm beneath him. Honey gave Moonlight’s enlarged breasts a gentle massage as she alternated between sucking the right and left nipple. And Thomas, to put it simply, was sitting on the mare’s face.
Well, technically, he was sitting on her muzzle. The mare’s snout was out far enough from her skull that he pretty much just had her nose in his butt while the rest of her face was left mostly visible. Her eyes were closed in blissful contentment as she inhaled deeply from his crack. Then, needing to do something with her hands, she held tightly against his thighs. She kneaded where his cutie mark would be while making sure he couldn’t leave his spot. Meanwhile, her tongue was busy lapping at his balls like a dog drinks water.
Thomas was never the biggest fan of ass play, at least not when his ass was the one being played, but this was still within the range of what he could accept.
“I guess nothing,” he admitted, awkwardly rotating his hips and wondering if it was to her liking. “A girl sitting on a guy’s face is something I’m used to, but I guess the reverse would be normal here, too.”
“Ah wouldn’t call it normal,” Honey countered, taking a break from suckling. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with it, jus’ not somethin’ we do often enough ta be called normal.”
Thomas smiled. “I concede to your knowledgeable technicality. Well played.”
Honey blushed, unable to meet Thomas’ eyes. He’d used a lot of big words, but she still caught him calling her smart. “Thanks,” she mumbled and went back to sucking.
Moonlight tapped twice against Thomas’ thigh, signaling that she’d had her fill. The human and other mares dismounted the unicorn. She gave one last deep inhale through her nose as she rose from the bed, looking peppy and ready to go. Then her stomach growled.
Honey chuckled. “Ah think yer body’s tryin’ ta tell ya somethin’, sugar.”
“Wohohohoho,” Surprise said with a shudder. “She’s not the only one.”
“Luna?” Thomas guessed.
Surprise nodded. “Guess I’m tagging out.” She gave her wings a few flaps and hovered to the dresser. “Gotta get dressed, first,” she explained as she quickly slipped her loincloth on. “What would Luna say if I turned up to work out of uniform?” She spanked her cheek in mock horror, causing her assets to jiggle.
“Damn, that’s a nice ass?” Thomas suggested.
“Flatterer.” Surprise gave the human a saucy wink and booty wiggle before departing out the door. She then doubled back and gave all of her fellow concubines a salute. “Have fun.”
“I intend to,” Moonlight lustfully growled as she levitated Thomas into her lap, petting him as though he were a cat and she was a supervillain.
Surprise seemed to get the joke, laughing as she departed for real.
“Ya’ll sit tight while Ah order some grub,” Honey said as she made for the wall with the bells and rung the one for the kitchens.
A butler arrived, took their order, and quickly returned with their meals. However, he could not leave fast enough as Moonlight hurriedly shooed him out of the room. Then, turning upon the human with a maniacal grin, she was glad that he hadn’t attempted to run. Instead, he floated limply in the air as she made the necessary arrangements.
“Moonlight.”
“Yes, Thomas,” she replied as several pillows floated past her face.
“What’s with all the pillows?”
“Ah think Ah know,” Honey answered. “Though I don’t think you’ll need more ‘an two.”
At Moonlight’s confusion, Honey turned her body to the side and gave her flank a swift slap, sending a number of ripples over her rounded rump. Moonlight looked back at her own backside and gave an unsettling smile at remembering its enhanced size.
“Honey,” Thomas said.
“Yeah, sugar?”
“Did you just doom me?”
Honey grinned sheepishly and held her hand up to her face. Then, closing one eye, she extended her thumb and trigger finger, closing the distance between them until they were less than an inch apart.
The next thing Thomas knew, he was balls deep in Moonlight’s pussy. He only had enough time to register that she was facing him and that his pelvis was between her legs before she sat the both of them down in a well-pillowed chair. His back was to the open-air, supported by her hands, and a couple of extra pillows had been wedged over his thighs to counter the weight of Moonlight’s legs.
“Oh, yes!” Moonlight groaned as she wobbled from side to side, testing the way her actions caused that delicious cock to penetrate her foal hole while keeping her hooves planted on the ground for balance. “That’s the good stuff.”
“Oh, god,” Thomas gasped from the combined sensations of Moonlight’s plush ass against his thighs and her tight vaginal lips clenching around his manhood.
Moonlight cooed and pulled the human upright, the top of his head brushing against her breasts. They were belly-to-belly, and Thomas had reflexively wrapped his arms around the mare in an urgent embrace. “Mmh. Yes. This will work nicely.”
“W-work?” Thomas asked. Pulling back, he saw that Honey was arranging the table with their respective meals as Moonlight levitated them forward. When the unicorn was satisfied, Thomas had his back to the table with only a marginal amount of distance available between himself and Moonlight.
“Remember how I was in Luna’s lap?” Moonlight asked rhetorically. “Well, now I’m in your lap.” It was normal for the stallion to be on top and for the mare to support their combined weight while he pressed into her back. Belly-to-belly with the mare on top while the stallion supported her was also nice, adding an extra layer of intimacy. However, sitting in Luna’s lap, having such a powerful mare beneath and behind, felt like such a marvelous combination of the two positions. And right now, she just wanted to share that joy with her love.
“Ah,” Thomas said in understanding. “Guess the height thing wouldn’t really let me be behind ya, huh?”
Moonlight nodded excitedly, happy that he was liking this. Granted, he was still wearing the same wary skepticism he always had when they tried something new, but she was confident he’d be enjoying himself in no time. “And this way,” she began as she picked up a utensil and brought a fork full of food between them, “I get to feed you.”
“Figured it’d be something like that,” Thomas admitted. “But…”
“But?” Moonlight asked worriedly, her heat-addled mind already conjuring all manner of extraordinary scenarios for why her stallion might be displeased with her.
“Couldn’t we have, like, just gotten a small foldout table or something?” Thomas suggested. “That way, the food could sit between us, and we could feed each other.”
Moonlight stared with dead eyes back at Thomas for several seconds. “… shit! That would’ve been good.”
“Want me ta call somepony ta bring one up?” Honey offered casually.
“N-nah,” Thomas grunted and took a bite of the offered food. “Just made myself comfortable.”
Moonlight felt like her heart might melt. “My stallion is so patient with me,” she mumbled. “And now his stallionhood is back where it belongs. Could this get any better?”
“What’s this?” Honey asked, pointing out a closed tray with a note on it. “Says,” she paused to sound out the words, “W-i-th l-love from S-S-Surpr-ise, Sil-ver, a-and L-Luna?” Then, furrowing her brow, she opened the tray and revealed its contents. “A sandwich?”
“Jackpot!” Moonlight cheered, knowing exactly what she was looking at.
**********
Lunch was an ordeal in and of itself, but one all parties enjoyed. Moonlight was loving the feeling of fullness between her legs while she fed her coltfriend. It was like they were middle school crushes, and she was still in the early stages of getting his attention. Thomas didn’t especially care for eating while a mare was sitting on top of him like this, not to mention that his legs had long fallen asleep and tingled something awful. However, if this was what Moonlight needed to stay lucid, then he was happy to do his part. And Honey, meanwhile, was taking mental notes on things to try for her own heat.
Afterward, Moonlight was ready to get back to some proper fucking.
“Now bend your one leg under. Good,” Thomas coached as he allowed his rigid cock to rest between her butt cheeks. Her tail batted against his stomach as he loomed over her, supporting himself on his arms.
“L-like this?” Moonlight asked. She was supporting her upper half on her arms, one leg bent out and the other outstretched behind her. For their next heat-themed activity, she wanted Thomas to choose a new sex position for her to try. They would start with the sphinx and see where that took them.
“Yeah. Just like that,” the human encouraged as he began humping forward, fellating himself between her extra-sized butt cheeks. It sort of felt like really elaborate pushups. “Ready?”
“Hm mmh,” she affirmed.
Grinning, Thomas positioned the tip of his cock against her puckered star. “Then here it goes.”
Moonlight briefly felt the strength leave her arms as Thomas poked his tip into her pucker. He waited for her to recover before pressing the rest in. “Oh, Faust!” she cried at feeling her anus spread around the head. She’d already learned just how sensitive her butt had become from Honey’s fingers. However, if the pill she’d taken made plot sex feel half this good even outside of heat, then she might just have to become a regular at the pharmacy.
The unicorn felt every square centimeter as it passed her pucker into her sensitive anus. Tiny squeaks and grunts escaped her throat as her stallion fed more and more of his precious tool into her. “More!” she ordered. Even with the changes to her body, she was still clear-headed enough to note when her stallion had passed the halfway mark. Briefly, her dazed mind asked her where the medial ring was, and she felt a twinge of disappointment at remembering none was coming. She looked down at herself, past her swollen breasts to her middle, that same place Luna’s dick had created such a noticeable bulge before. She saw nothing, but she didn’t care.
As far as Moonlight was concerned, Luna’s flat-tipped beast was nothing to Thomas’ helmeted and diligent little soldier. She felt her plush ass press against his thighs, but let out a breath of relief when she realized he wasn’t done yet. He still had a couple of inches to feed her hungry anus, and her ass had just the right amount of give to allow him entry.
Thomas grunted like an animal as he pressed himself deeper and deeper. Despite being well lubed, Moonlight’s ass managed to maintain the perfect level of tightness and friction. She squeezed down around him and made tiny thrusts backward with her hips.
“M-more!” Moonlight demanded. “Give me more!”
“As the lady commands,” he replied. Abandoning his pushup position, Thomas found leverage on Moonlight’s substantial plot. His fingers sank deep into her plush rear as he tightened his grip. At long last, he’d hilted himself inside her.
Moonlight’s mouth opened in a silent scream. That scream turned into an audible growl as Thomas pulled out of her, leaving only his soldier’s helmet inside. She flipped her head back, ready to chew him out for his rudeness for leaving his post, only for Thomas to thrust back in, causing her voice to hitch.
Thomas pulled out and slammed forward once more, watching the way Moonlight’s entire body rocked forward with his movements. Each time, her ample ass cheeks would cushion the impact, sending faint ripples across her bubble butt, and his balls would slap against her needy marehood. “Like that?” he asked.
Moonlight panted heavily as she rocked her hips back to meet his. “M-more!” she growled. “I-I need…” She couldn’t find the words.
Grinning as he got a new, devilish idea, Thomas raised his hand high and brought it down with the sound of a cracking whip. Moonlight gave a mulling whine. “Like that, bitch?” he asked, losing himself in the moment.
Moonlight gritted her teeth in defiance and challenge. Her ass cheek still stung from the impact, but the wonderful pain wouldn’t last forever. “Th-that all you got, colt?”
“Oh, you asked for it now,” Thomas growled back.
Yes, I did, Moonlight mused.
Adjusting his legs beneath him as he continued to thrust, Thomas gave Moonlight’s ass another firm spank. He watched as her plump ass rippled from the impact. Moonlight sounded pleased with his actions, and he quickly found a new rhythm. Every few pumps of his hips, he briefly paused to bring both hands crashing down upon her supple cheeks. The way her mounds jiggled was rather hypnotizing.
Thrust. Thrust. Slap.
Thrust. Thrust. Thrust. Slap.
Thrust. Slap. Slap.
Moonlight felt like she was losing it. Between the heat, the drug, and her simple inability to anticipate Thomas’ movements, she was being pushed to the brink. Any second now.
Thomas hilted himself one last time within Moonlight and cried out, “Cuming!”
The remaining emptiness of Moonlight’s ass was quickly filled as a moderate torrent of sperm erupted from Thomas’ dick. “F-fuck!” she shouted to the heavens as she felt her ass swell with liquid warmth. That was the final straw, and she reached her own climax, spraying her juices out across Thomas’ balls. Despite being wonderfully intense, it subsided much more quickly than she had expected. Unfortunately, the afterglow was also short-lived, being eclipsed by the renewed fire between her legs.
Moonlight had had a feeling this would happen. She’d been warned about it enough, her and every other filly out there. When a mare is in heat, she can have all the best orgasms in the world, but not one will really count if it isn’t followed by the stallion spritzing in her foal hole. Her loins ached, but that was fine. She’d given her plot the attention it had been craving, which now left her free to pursue what really mattered. Essentially, Thomas’ rough pounding of her plot hole marked the conclusion of their foreplay.
“Ready to get started?” she asked with a challenging glint in her eyes.
Thomas panted, propping himself on Moonlight’s ass to keep from collapsing. “Just,” he gasped, “maybe five minutes.”
In answer, Moonlight levitated a stamina potion before him. After all that teasing he’d put her through, even if it was at her request, he was not about to back out now. She appreciatively grinned when he downed the potion in just a few powerful gulps and dropped the empty vial on the sheets beside them.
“What’d you have in mind?” Thomas asked with a cocksure grin. He’d gotten his… third wind? Who was counting anymore?
Luna hummed contentedly to herself as she strolled down the castle corridors in the company of her escorts. Surprise skipped merrily beside her, and the guards held their formation behind their VIPs. Silver was in equally high spirits as she walked on Luna’s other side, pressing her shoulder into the mare’s leg. Both concubines carried bags of various items that idly swung as they walked.
Luna giggled sweetly, unable to think of anything but the story Honey had told her earlier, later affirmed by Surprise when she’d switched the pair out. “And she truly had him ride her around like she was some common beast?” the Princess asked from within her localized sound suppression bubble, meaning only she and her concubines could hear one another.
“For, like, a whole hour,” Surprise snorted, barely able to contain her laughter.
“You shouldn’t laugh,” Silver chided gently. “I do not even have to ask to know that you have done some pretty embarrassing things during your heat.”
“Doesn’t make it less funny,” Surprise countered. “And then when it was my turn to start cooling her off again, she sent Honey to the library to get a couple of books on exotic things she could do with her magic.”
“Truly?” Luna asked. “Has the worst passed so soon?” Heat-addled mares typically spent the entirety of the week in highs and lows when it came to full cognitive ability. Most of the time, they were only able to maintain continuous lucidity towards the tail end of their heats. If Moonlight was already lucid enough to start studying magic…
“I was bucking her the whole time,” Surprise said, cutting Luna’s thoughts short.
“What?” Silver asked.
“Yeah. She was just lying on the bed, flipping through pages, and I was just—” Surprise made a brief series of humping gestures, earning stifled chortles from the guards and nearby staff, “—the whole time. Must have squirted in her two times before she finally found something she liked.”
A surprised giggle escaped Luna’s lips as a picture formed in her mind. The much larger and full-bodied Surprise pounding away at Moonlight’s enlarged assets, all while the unicorn held her best poker face and fixed her eyes on a book. Not a bad idea, though, she had to admit. Perhaps I should ask ‘Tia if Twilight also…
“Majesty,” the door guards greeted. They nodded their heads in a respectful bow, which she returned in kind.
“Thank you for your service,” she said and entered the room. Her expression was perfectly even, leaving no trace of how excited she was to get her hands on Moonlight’s honeyed ‘lips.’ She quickly scanned the room. The gentle breathing and slurps, not to mention the pungent aroma of recent activities, drew her attention immediately to the bed.
“Got any, ngh, twos?” Thomas asked as he struggled not to moan from his mare’s actions. He’d been thoroughly spent and hadn’t taken any stamina potions in some time. So technically, this was his break to recover.
“Here ya go,” Honey said, relinquishing the card to her opponent. They’d been playing like this for nearly half an hour now. Moonlight, having been momentarily satisfied, originally opted to play. However, despite her claims of lucidity, that did not stop the mare from taking an interest in other activities. All in all, it was fairly easy for the green mare to ignore the sounds her friends were making.
Nothing’s coming out! Moonlight’s instincts whined to her. Of course, nothing was coming out. She’d lost track of how many times her precious stallion had cum in her, and he deserved his break. His little soldier couldn’t even muster the faintest twitch of stiffness. Yet that didn’t make his musk any less appealing or the sweat upon his balls any less delectable, even if the latter was heavily mixed with her own flavor. She nuzzled his groin affectionately, inhaling his musk deeply as she guided his limp tool all over her nose. Soft and small as it was, she couldn’t help but laugh at how adorable it looked.
Thomas did his best to ignore his mare, assuring himself that she wasn’t being demeaning.
“Oh. Howdy ya’ll,” Honey greeted warmly, alerting the others to the newcomers.
Thomas smiled back at Luna with a mix of both relief and anxiety. On the one hand, her magic cock would be of immense help in keeping Moonlight under control once she started getting hot again. On the other, Luna’s advanced magic opened a new realm of possibilities that may or may not push the human to his limits. “Glad you’re, mmh, back.”
Moonlight slipped off of Thomas’ cock with a wet shlurp, leaving only a single strand of saliva between her lips and his tip. It snapped with a faint pop, and the mare turned to face her alicorn. She was tired. Her mane was an absolute mess, having not seen a comb in hours. She sat up upon her sticky backside, which had also not seen any form of cleaning in some time. “H-hello, everypony,” she greeted in a lust-inebriated daze.
“Somepony’s been having fun,” Surprise teased.
“She was not the only one,” Luna commented, giving Silver a wink. The bat mare’s face turned a shade of hot pink, and she turned away with a pouting huff.
“Come on, Surprise,” Silver commanded and flapped her wings, lifting her hefty frame a short distance from the ground. “The night is far from over.”
Surprise nodded her understanding and joined Silver in flight. After setting their bags off to the side, the pair made quick work of Luna’s dress and deposited it neatly on a nearby dresser.
“So I have been dying to ask this all night,” Luna began, stretching her limbs this way and that. It always felt good to free herself of her clothing’s confinement. “How has your first real heat been treating you?”
Moonlight did not answer right away. Instead, she turned an adoring gaze upon Thomas, who smiled with sheepish appreciation in return. Then she fell upon him, gently resting her head upon his shoulder. “He’s been wonderful.”
Thomas chuckled, guessing the meaning behind Luna’s ‘real.’ He ran his fingers through her mane, which somehow remained silky soft despite its appearance. “You’ve been pretty great, too. Though, and no offense, but I think I’ll be glad when this is over. One hyper horny mare is enough of a handful, thank you very much.”
“None taken,” Moonlight said with a soft laugh and wrapped her arms around her stallion in an affectionate embrace.
Honey smiled at the sweet sight, envisioning herself in that position once her own heat struck. Then, figuring that the game was over anyway, she set her cards down.
“So,” Thomas began. “Anything interesting happen tonight?”
“Verily,” Luna replied. Then, with the grace befitting a Princess, she threw herself onto the bed, belly up. The sudden compression dislodged Thomas and Moonlight from their spot, forcing them to fall into the dip Luna’s body had created. The alicorn then bounced back up, the bed quickly adjusting to her weight, which now included a pair of passengers. She wrapped her arms around them and pulled them close, not minding the way their bodies made her fur sticky. “The night’s petitions were quite aggressive. Petitioners from every walk of life were anxious to reach a settlement, with many a pony seeking to take advantage of the opportunity.”
Thomas inhaled Luna’s scent deeply. He was already tired from an entire night of keeping Moonlight satisfied, and nestling into Luna’s luscious and warm bosom was not helping matters. “I’m guessing this is because of the heat.”
“Ponies always get a little loopy before heat starts,” Surprise explained as she and Silver climbed up behind Luna.
“Big Plow always loved this time o’ year,” Honey added, snuggling up to Luna’s other side. “Mares get all antsy while stallions get ta keep their cool. Plow’s closed a lot o’ our best sales just before heat.”
“I can imagine,” Silver said, pulling herself up enough so that she wasn’t smothered between Surprise and Luna. “Which is why it was so painful tonight, watching all those mares too proud to admit they were in no position to negotiate. They should have just left things to the stallions.”
“Is that even legal?” Thomas asked, trying to ignore the way Moonlight was fondling his still limp dick. “I mean, it sounds like they’re – ngh – being taken advantage of.”
“As Silver said,” Luna cooed, loving the feeling of the combined warmth of her lovers against her, “‘tis their own fault for not acknowledging their limits.”
“That seems a little harsh,” Thomas replied, concern evident on his flushed face. He glanced briefly at Moonlight and let his imagination take hold. “I mean, even if she does something as mundane as—” he grinned, “—as going shopping, couldn’t she be swindled by a – oh, boy!” He paused to collect himself. “By a stallion or mare not in heat?”
“It ain’t as bad as yer probably imaginin’,” Honey interjected, “We got laws ‘n’ stuff stoppin’ a lot o’ the really bad stuff, but it’s mostly a common sense thing, ya know. ‘Sides, there comes a time where a mare’s just gotta take responsibility for her own life.”
Thomas nodded. It sounded rather harsh, especially compared to the overprotective culture he’d been born into. However, if encouraging personal responsibility worked for ponies, then he was in no position to argue, literally. Sitting atop a small pile of naked mares with his spent cock being fondled and breasts resting against his back and head… who would take him seriously?
It wasn’t long before Moonlight’s heat began acting up again. As she started grinding herself against Luna’s soft coat, her tail resumed its wafting of her feminine odors, spreading them all around the room. This, in turn, slowly ebbed away at the more relaxed and casual atmosphere the other mares had attempted to forge. Worse yet, the smell had had its most intense effects on Luna, causing her body to react sympathetically to Moonlight’s as her own tail began wafting her aroused musk. This had a snowball effect, as Luna’s musk agitated the other mares, causing them to quickly grow in arousal, which in turn just affected Luna more, and so on.
Be gentle, Thomas thought and grinned nervously as several pairs of hungry eyes turned upon him.
**********
“Are ya done, yet?” Honey asked impatiently. She, like most of the others, was grinding her legs together like she had to pee.
“Almost there,” Silver answered from the bathroom. They’d drawn straws to see who would have the task of readying Thomas for this next part. As the winner, Silver now had the privilege of selecting the human’s new outfit from the bags they’d brought in.
“I don’t believe this,” Thomas groaned as he looked at himself in the mirror. Rather than wearing foal’s clothes, which was a bit of a relief, the human was now dressed in a black yoga suit. The suit was a one-piece that covered his entire body, stopping just past the shoulders, halfway down the thighs, and halfway up the neck. The material was soft and stretchy, clinging to every contour of his body. The fabric, however, was so tight and so thin that it left absolutely nothing to the imagination. The suit’s gentle caresses had caused him to quickly grow a bit, the lewd scene accentuated by how the material managed to hug around his erection.
“Something wrong?” Silver asked. She looked him over as she circled around. Her cheeks were flushed, her breathing heavy, and her tail was wafting with an odd urgency, but overall she seemed as normal as she’d been all week. “Do they not fit?” It was hard for her to restrain her smile. She could see perfectly fine how well these clothes fit.
“Oh, they fit,” Thomas affirmed, looking back over his shoulder. It was hard to see, so he just turned around and looked at the mirror. The suit was digging into the cleft of his ass. Bracing himself for what he knew was coming, the human flushed when he pulled one butt cheek aside and saw the way the material hugged every line of his anus. “But where the hell did this stuff come from?”
“Luna made a special order,” Silver bragged as she ran her hands over his sides under the pretense of smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles. “Tailors are used to making outfits like these for this time of year, but they drop everything when it’s a special order from royalty.”
Thomas continued looking at his back in the mirror. He was more than a little bothered by the implications of outfits like this being made at all. Then he noticed that Silver had stopped in her patting. Instead, she was kneeling beside him, momentarily transfixed as she stared at his bum. Thomas cleared his throat. Then he cleared it again when she gave no response. Then he did it a third time.
“Yes. Yes, I know,” Silver replied, sounding distracted and marginally annoyed. Eventually, she gave her lips a lick and went back to fussing over the human’s suit. “Hmm. Yes, I think this will do nicely.”
Thomas was growing increasingly agitated as Silver fussed over him. While he normally liked wearing clothes, this suit not only concealed nothing, which admittedly kind of made him look sexier in the process, but was so snug as to be practically invasive. This was especially true around his balls, which still ached from overuse. Further, he was just plain tired after fucking Moonlight all night long; and now the switch to the day shift meant all the other mares were going to be getting freaky as well, including Luna. And with Silver groping him, treating him like an object to be used, he had half a mind just to go out there and tell them all No!
“I’m so proud of you, Thomas,” Silver cooed into his ear.
“… what?”
“Well, look at you,” Silver said, gesturing at his suit. “You have been helping to cool Moonlight all night long, and not once have you complained.” She laughed. “I remember one story my sire liked to tell, of one heat when my mothers became so demanding that he actually locked them in the bathroom and took off out the window.” She chuckled even harder. (1)
Thomas blinked. “So, it’s not a bad thing I’m kinda thinking of doing the same right now?”
“Oh, heavens, no,” Silver assured with a dismissive wave. “My brothers all have similar stories about their herd mares, too. What you’re going through is perfectly normal.” She nuzzled into the back of his neck. “I believe I’m rather aware of what your limits are, and the fact that you have persevered this long is nothing short of impressive and says a lot about your character.”
“It does?”
“Most certainly,” Silver affirmed. “Normally, you are such a quiet introvert, very hesitant to step outside of your comfort zone. Moonlight would stop if you told her, but you have done no such thing. Instead, you press on; you persevere even when most ponies in your position might back down. And you do it all for the sake of helping your mare.” She kissed his ear. “Moonlight is very lucky to have found a stallion like you.”
Thomas started chuckling to himself. “Damn you, Silver,” he muttered.
The bat mare frowned at the unexpected remark. “For what?”
“For talking me out of backing down, even when my legs feel like jelly, my balls ache, and even my jaw feels a little numb.” There was more that Thomas didn’t say, though. In those quiet moments when he wasn’t really doing anything, his mind would inevitably drift towards his insecurities. He loved the mares in his life, but he always felt their relationships were terribly one-sided. They would always do so much for him, especially Moonlight, and what he gave back always seemed lacking in comparison. Granted, he’d never heard a complaint from any of them, but he’d just rationalize that as them being polite.
But then there was now. Right now, there was something Thomas could really do for Moonlight that would really help her. His inner cynic reminded him that it wasn’t really any different from what they usually did, only to get the same treatment as before. Of course, it was important. Moonlight and the rest wouldn’t have made such a big deal if it wasn’t. Right now, Thomas had the opportunity to return a fraction of the devotion and care this wonderful mare had shown him, and he wasn’t about to let himself quit.
Silver snorted and gave the human a sly grin. “It was my pleasure.” Before he could react, the bat spun the human around to face the door and gave his butt a firm smack to coax him forward. “Now get out there and prove me right!”
Thomas pushed the door open, noting the way all conversation in the room suddenly went quiet. He was acutely aware of how all eyes were upon him. They looked him over like starving dogs would eye a piece of meat, except that wasn’t quite true. While all mares were looking upon him in lust, one gaze was particularly intense.
“Woof.”
The suit Moonlight wore was identical to Thomas’ own. Every line and contour of the mare’s body was hugged with impossibly perfect snugness. Thomas actually had to do a double-take as he drank her in with his eyes, now able to make out the lines and bumps across her body that he’d never noticed before, despite seeing her nudity countless times. “We’re keeping the suits,” he deadpanned.
“As if there was any other option,” she shot back with a playful wink.
“Alright, then!” Surprise cheered and clapped her hands together. “Let’s get started.”
The mattes were set out, and Silver had set up the generic motivational exercise music. The mares paired off with Silver and Surprise, Honey and Luna, and Thomas and Moonlight.
Surprise snapped a fitness band around her head. “Alright, everypony. Have you found your workout buddy?”
“Ah have,” Honey said with a grin.
“Verily!” Luna cheered eagerly.
“I have as well,” Silver said, trying not to look too eager as she eyed her partner.
“Can’t complain,” Surprise added casually.
Moonlight just made a needy moan as she studied the way that Thomas’ suit hugged his body.
“I think I’m good, too,” Thomas said and licked his lips.
“Alright, then. Let’s begin,” Surprise instructed and blew in the whistle she’d absolutely been wearing the entire time. “Let’s start with some basic stretches.” The first few actions were fairly mundane stretches, meant to help the body get limber before the real exercise began. The first real move Surprise made was lifting her leg high in the air and holding it to her chest. The other mares followed her lead.
Neither Thomas nor Moonlight were able to speak as they moved. Moonlight, like the other mares, had managed to replicate the stretch perfectly. Pony flexibility was yet another wonder of their bodies. This pushed her butt out just enough to show how her suit hugged so intimately around her anus. Her pussy was already winking. However, Thomas was having a bit more trouble, not able to straighten his knee past a right angle. Still, Moonlight was enjoying the way his cock shifted inside the suit, along with the pleasant sight of his pucker coming into view.
“Alright,” Surprise announced. “Next pose.”
Moonlight and Thomas sat down with their legs spread wide, facing one another, with hands on their knees to help straighten their legs. Thomas laughed when he saw the way Moonlight’s pussy started winking all the more frantically from the friction of the suit moving across her body, almost as though it could sense its prey. He, however, was in the same boat, suppressing a squeak as he felt the velvety fabric rub across his member, bringing him to full erection within the suit.
Moonlight gave a lustful moan as she scooched herself forward a ways. They’d locked hands, supporting one another as they alternated leaning back and forth. She gave a girlish giggle as she tried scooting further forward, nearly driving the both of them into doing the splits in the hopes of grinding groins through their suits.
“That’s it, girls,” Surprise encouraged from the same pose. “Show us what your plots can do.”
Thomas couldn’t get much of a look from where he lay, but the sounds being made gave him a pretty good idea. When he leaned back, Moonlight came forward, causing her breasts to dangle and even bounce around at almost hentai levels of absurdity. They alternated, and Thomas felt the tightening of his muscles as his face was lured down to their nearly touching groins. He laughed at how anxious both parts looked to finally reunite after eons spent apart. Maybe her heat was getting to him.
“No fair!” Honey whined. “Ya’ll used yer fancy magic!”
Apparently, using magic violated the unspoken rules.
“Oh, poor, misguided Honey,” Luna taunted. “Have you learned nothing of what alicorn muscle control is capable of?"
In answer, Honey gave several panicked gasps. “Woah! Ah! Put me down!”
“Oh, that looks fun,” Surprise cheered. “Let me try.”
“Now, Surprise,” Silver cautioned. “Let’s not be has-tyyyyy!”
The sounds of her friends’ apparent ‘successes’ only added to Moonlight’s frustration as her pout cutely intensified. Thankfully, Surprise called out the next position before things could worsen. When they’d reassembled, the big partners sat on the floor with their legs spread out wide while the small partners sat behind them on their knees.
“Alright, class,” Surprise announced. “For this one, all you little guys are going to be gently pushing on your partners’ backs. Got it?”
“Ah ain’t never been called li’l ‘n all mah life,” Honey said flatly. “Not sure how Ah feel ‘bout it now.”
“I would also like to raise some complaints,” Silver added with a smirk.
Thomas frowned at noticing how all the mares seemed to be looking his way with a range of smirks. He wondered what they were up to.
“Hmm,” Surprise hummed elaborately. “You know, you might be right. Sorry, everypony,” she called out. “Let’s hold off for a second and—”
“No!” Moonlight growled. She was breathing heavily through her nose with a heavy blush on her cheeks. “We’re not stopping.” Her words brokered no argument.
Thomas smiled from behind Moonlight and shot the others a mildly condemning smirk. “You’re all a bunch of teases. Shame on you.”
They chorused back with several words of gratitude, and the stretching was allowed to resume.
Thomas was only partially paying attention to Surprise’s instructions as he moved. He put his hands on his mare’s back and applied a gentle pressure as she leaned forward. However, while he had a pretty good idea of what she was hoping for from this particular stretch, he decided to prove himself as evil as the others. “You know,” he whispered into her ear, “if the roles were reversed, I bet you’d have a lot of fun pushing those fun bags of yours against my body.”
Moonlight whimpered in want of this additional activity as she felt Thomas press more of his body against her back.
Thomas grinned as he felt Moonlight’s tail start flailing about. Even through the suit, the hairs tickled. “But I don’t have big, supple,” he reached around her sides and teased at her ribs, “bountiful, bitable boobies like you.”
Moonlight whickered, and her audience laughed.
“Now, who’s the tease?” Surprise joked, only to get shushed by Silver.
“Quiet. He’s getting to the good part.”
“What can I do?” Thomas asked as he pressed more of his belly against the mare’s back, stopping just before his pelvis could make contact. “What could I, a breastless male, possibly offer that could compare?”
Literal steam was billowing out of Moonlight’s nose.
“Careful, little fella,” Honey cautioned. “A mare ‘n heat can only take so much.”
“Why Honey,” Thomas continued as he finally pressed his groin against Moonlight’s lower back. The suit did nothing to shield against the heat of her back or the softness of her bristling fur against his constrained erection. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said as he began rotating his hips in circles across Moonlight’s back. The sounds she made were like honey to his ears, and it drove him almost as crazy to know that he was the one bringing them out.
Moonlight whinnied in delight at finally achieving the desired contact. She pictured the human’s little soldier grinding up against her, its every contour sending shivers up her spine. “P-please,” she whimpered as the stretch brought her further down until her breasts had almost touched the floor. Her tail was darting about frantically, and it was a struggle not to use it to grab around her stallion’s waist and put him in his place.
Thomas pulled back, breaking contact with Moonlight’s back as he looked down. “You know, despite these suit’s total uselessness in all other regards, they do manage the impossible of making Moonlight Shield look hotter than usual,” he teased as his eyes followed the way the suit accentuated his mare’s figure.
Moonlight gave another whimper.
“It’s true,” Thomas argued as he teased his fingers down her spine. “Somehow, bundled up in that paper-thin latex, you look even more alluring than you normally would naked.” He laughed as his fingers intertwined with her frantic tail. “Your pussy and anus are winking desperately, like they’re starved for attention. Even your ass is giving a little bounce to better attract my attention.” He leaned forward and started kissing down Moonlight’s back. “Can’t you,” kiss, “tell it,” kiss, “that I,” kiss, “already know,” kiss, “what,” kiss, “it,” kiss, “wants?”
“It won’t listen to me,” Moonlight whined. Her entire torso was now pressed flatly against the floor. Her breasts hurt a little under the pressure, but of greater attention was the burning itch further south. “I… I can’t…” she said breathlessly.
“Hey, Moonlight,” Thomas whispered. “What was that password again?”
“P-password?” Moonlight asked, the term only barely registering in her frazzled mind.
“You know.” Thomas laid himself over the mare’s back and pressed his constrained wiener into her soft, swollen buns. “The password rigged into these suits.” He planted three kisses along her spine and pulled his hips back. “The one that gets them to—” But he was unable to finish as Moonlight finally remembered.
“Jeepers!”
Despite the perceived lack of insulation before, Thomas’ cock still felt a sudden chill as it flopped out of the hole in the suit. It was weird that the hole opened up further to include his buttocks, but he decided the fact that the suits weren’t sex-specific shouldn’t bug him. Instead, he focused on the source of heat radiating out directly in front of his cock head. “Good girl,” he whispered, and took the plunge.
Moonlight gave a long and drawn-out whinny as her marehood was penetrated by her stallion. It was bliss, a joyous rapture comparable to no other. Knowing that it was her stallion filling her, stretching out her insides, Moonlight doubted she’d notice or care if his soldier had suddenly quintupled in size or transformed into something unrecognizable. All her mind and body cared about was that he continued moving.
Thomas smiled as he took a literal second to get used to Moonlight’s hot insides tightening around him. It was a pleasant change from the prior constraint. However, the position was also a bit awkward. Normally, Moonlight preferred to prop her butt in the air to give her more control, and it was a little weird when his balls touched the floor, but he didn’t spend too much time ruminating on that. When the second had passed, he pulled out a few inches until only the head was left inside, and thrust back in.
Moonlight grunted as Thomas’ thrust pushed her forward. It still hurt for her breasts to be pressed into the floor, but in a way that was actually turning her on. “H-harder,” she panted. Thomas pulled back and thrust forward, once more causing her breasts to be ground into the floor. It was a good hurt, akin to being spanked or having her tail pulled, and she moaned her approval. “Oh, yes!”
Thomas had his arms wrapped tightly around Moonlight’s middle, holding himself as close to her as possible while he continued thrusting. He could hear her heartbeat as every breath pushed him upwards. In this position, with his cheek against her spine, he was able to watch as the others abandoned the premise of exercise. Luna was lying on her back as Silver bounced excitedly on the mare cocks penetrating both holes. Surprise cried out as she sat on Luna’s face, allowing the alicorn’s tongue to probe impossibly deep. Honey had straddled Luna’s chest and was desperately making out with Surprise, all while pegasus and alicorn worked on fingering her front and back areas. The slapping and wet squelching from the mare foursome only added to Thomas’ arousal, coaxing him to hump harder against Moonlight’s plump butt.
“Cu-cumming!” he warned.
The moment almost passed in slow motion for Moonlight. Thomas’ little soldier didn’t flare like a regular stallion’s penis. However, she did feel the moment it started to twitch and could almost see the bulge pushing up along its length inside her. Seed shot out in spurts, paining her insides and sending a pleasant wash of coolness over her body. It wasn’t the best orgasm he’d ever given her, but the heat definitely made it among the more satisfying.
Mare and man panted heavily as they lay on the floor, too tired to try and disentangle themselves from the other’s limbs. They were only faintly aware of the orgasmic cries of the others before their minds pushed such sounds away as nonessential background noise. Instead, all of their senses were focused on one another, how their bodies rose and fell with their breathing, the heat emanating through the suits, the sounds of the other’s breath, and the smells that threatened to drown the both of them.
Then Moonlight felt she had to pee. It wasn’t bad at first, allowing her to push the sensation aside and cling onto the feeling of her stallion corking off the seeds he’d just planted. It was nice to feel her body process his foal batter, pulling it along into her womb where, because of the birth control, it would be broken down for its nutrients. However, that bliss was growing harder to maintain, until she just couldn’t stand it anymore.
“S-sorry,” she said as she sat up.
Thomas allowed himself to slide off of Moonlight’s back, the suits eliminating most friction between their bodies. Moonlight groaned when his flaccid dick popped out of her, causing his afterglow smile to grow even bigger. Even post-coitus, she still craved him.
Moonlight hurried along, sidestepping the knot of mares that sat in her way, and closed the door behind her.
“Oh, my,” Luna cooed in amusement as she returned to her room. It had been one of those days where she hadn’t felt the need to sleep, and so had occupied her time with other matters. Specifically, she, Celestia, and Cadence had all been tending to the last-minute preparations of heat week, which for Canterlot, officially began tonight. The government and its bureaucracies were now essentially on hiatus and operating with only a skeletal crew of stallions who didn’t have mares to cool off. With no other tasks that needed tending, Luna nodded politely to the stallion guards outside her door and entered her room. She cooed softly at the sight of her bed and its contents.
Moonlight was in the middle of grinding her hips into Thomas’ groin as the man spooned her. The unicorn’s body, caring little for the procedures the city had set out, had actually started her heat a full four days early, meaning her efforts to encourage her stallion weren’t likely to yield any significant results any time soon. Silver and Surprise were tossing and turning in bed. At some point, as Luna watched, they’d tossed into one another’s arms and began vigorously making out in their sleep. By contrast, Honey was absent. She’d left the previous night, having properly read her body’s signals, and was no doubt trying to give her stallion the same encouragement Thomas was receiving at this very moment.
Luna checked the time and decided that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if she raised the moon a few minutes early – much to the virulent disagreement of a few very passionate astronomers. Her task done, Luna returned from the balcony, closed the door behind her, faced the lovers occupying her bed, and inhaled deeply through her nose as she magically peeled off her dress, deposited it on a hanger, and sent it off into the closet.
Alicorns didn’t go into heat as frequently as other mares. In fact, Luna wasn’t certain if her corruption and banishment to the moon had altered her internal clock in any way. However, she could say with absolute certainty that she was, at least, not in heat now. No. The burning tingle that started in her belly and was quickly growing throughout her body wasn’t the fault of heat. It was a sympathetic heat, a phenomenon whereby a mare who wasn’t synched up with the surrounding mares still exhibited many of heat’s symptoms to provide more encouragement to local stallions. Although, if she were being honest, her body’s sympathetic heat wasn’t significantly stronger than her usual needier moods.
“Rise and shine,” Luna sang as she gradually brightened the room’s lighting. “Time for all good little colts and fillies to wake up and heed nature’s call.”
Surprise and Silver were the first to awaken. After blinking the sleep from their eyes, the first thing they saw was the trail of saliva connecting their lips. Luna giggled as she watched the gears turn in their brains. It took a little bit for their sleep-addled minds to realize what this meant, but both smiled once it finally clicked. Thomas was next to wake as Moonlight’s sleep humping had become too much for him to ignore. His morning wood was wedged comfortably between her ass cheeks, but the ache in his balls told him he was running on empty. He shrugged apologetically and kissed his mare below her ear. The sleeping beauty finally stirred and propped herself up, partially sitting in Thomas’ lap.
All four of the bed’s denizens pulled themselves up. They blinked, yawned, scratched, and felt just how sticky their bodies were.
“You need a bath,” Thomas said, directing his words at Moonlight. He made a show of taking a big whiff of her mane and pulled back. “Whoa! Or maybe we should just throw you in the wash.”
Moonlight met Thomas’ joke with a playful glint in her eyes as she wiggled her hips in his lap. “So long as it’s you doing the scrubbing, I wouldn’t mind,” she offered.
The sound of a sudden increase in heavy breathing caused Moonlight’s ear to flick, and she turned to the source. Silver and Surprise were now inhaling deeply through their nostrils, eyes wide as saucers and glued firmly on Thomas. Moonlight giggled sympathetically at their plight. Even now, her hormones had her convinced that Thomas’ every word held the most sensual croon to caress her ears and would bring her to near climax just from listening to it. So now it was the turn of the winged mares to suffer the rapturous agony of heat, and Moonlight couldn’t have been happier for them.
Ponies were a peculiar race in this regard, as declared by consensus among the world’s other races. Though few of these races were monogamous, they were much more prone to jealousy and possessiveness of their mates. That isn’t to say that pony mares didn’t also feel jealousy, betrayal, or neglect from time to time, but it was notably less common than the other races. For Moonlight, although in her mind she knew that Silver and Surprise weren’t part of her herd proper, emotionally, she was hard-pressed to see them as anything less. They were her close friends, they were in need, and she had a stallion willing and generous enough to help scratch their aggravating itches. Moonlight couldn’t think of anything that would make her happier at this moment.
Seeing Moonlight distracted, Thomas followed her line of sight to the other hungry mares in the bed. His heart began to race as he met their hungered expressions. Surprise licked her lips and caused his wedged cock to twitch between Moonlight’s buns, startling a moan from the mare. When his brain registered what he was seeing, he gave the mares a wry grin. He then cupped his hand a short distance in front of his mouth, kissed into it, opened his hand, and blew towards the mares. Surprise actually pushed Silver aside and positioned her cheek along the kiss’s course, only for Silver to pull ahead and take a large chomp out of the air in front of Surprise.
“Cheater!” Surprise whined.
Silver just beamed in triumph as she made a show of moving something around inside her mouth. She then swallowed and prepared to make some snappy remark. Unfortunately, her words were smothered when Surprise tackled her to the bedding as the pegasus forced her tongue down the bat’s throat, creating several temporary bulges in the smaller mare’s neck.
“Ahem,” Luna cleared her throat, drawing all attention to herself. In her magic, she levitated a bottle of Chilled Heat, which she shook for emphasis. “Now I know all of you are feeling a might antsy at the moment,” she began as she swaggered around the bed with a definite swing to her hips. “But let us not forget,” again she teasingly shook the bottle, causing the pills inside to rattle, “to take the necessary—”
“Gimme!” Surprise barked before flaring her wings and lunging at the Princess. However, she barely made it halfway across the room before being ensnared in the dark alicorn’s magic. Her wings flapped, and her limbs flailed desperately to push her forward, but she remained locked in place. She was like a small dog, paddling through the air while being held just over the water.
Smiling, Luna removed the cap and levitated a single capsule out. She held it directly in front of her snout and began her approach. The Princess cruelly grinned as Surprise continued to struggle, the pegasus’ eyes torn between the pill, Thomas, and the mare holding her captive. Then, when the pill was so close that it looked like all Surprise need do was stick her tongue out far enough, Luna lunged like a snake and made the capsule disappear in one fell swoop.
Surprise was stunned by this heinous betrayal. She looked to be on the verge of tears. Her feelings of hurt and sorrow, amplified by her intense hormones, lasted all of an agonizing half-second before Luna suddenly and aggressively kissed her. Surprise was so stunned by the – in hindsight – very expected turn of events that she didn’t register her favorite alicorn’s tongue pushing something hard and vaguely mint-flavored into the back of her throat. Finally, she recognized the pill and swallowed it down with a gob of mixed saliva.
The kiss parted, and Luna smiled at her pegasus. She beamed with a smug triumph at having surprised Surprise, beating her at her own game. Surprise also smiled, but it held a faint glimmer of malice not unlike what Luna had used mere seconds ago. Luna puzzled over this for an entire second before movement brought her vision down low. There, she saw two things that gave her alarm. The first was Silver using her low profile to sneak in close and steal the bottle while Luna was distracted. The alicorn would have complimented her bat’s cunning, were it not for the second thing. Surprise, no doubt in an act of revenge, was reaching out for her Princess’ breasts with fingers like claws. This time, Luna did not react fast enough.
“Gotcha!”
Luna yelped in shock.
“Sh-should we help?” Thomas asked. He was leaning around Moonlight to watch while the mare continued to sit on him.
Moonlight smiled from her thoughtful stallion to the wrestling match happening at the foot of the bed.
“Faust, shining down!” Luna declared in alarm as she fell. The pain was too much. However, her grip remained steadfast as Silver attempted to steal the bottle. “Gah! No biting!”
“Hmm, they look like they’ve got things under control,” Moonlight said with a contented sigh. Then, recalling what Thomas said earlier, she took a sniff under her armpit and flinched back. “We’ve got more important matters to deal with.” It was one thing to have a modest musk meant to entice a prone stallion, but a lady still had to have standards.
Thomas smiled at Moonlight’s response as she levitated him in her magic. He allowed himself to be carried behind her as she slipped out of bed and made for the bathroom. “Easy there,” Thomas cautioned, noticing Moonlight’s limp. “You okay?”
There was still that aching itch between her legs, as there would be for the remainder of her heat, but it was much more tolerable than it had initially been. She was still fully lucid and figured that the need wouldn’t return for quite some time. “Oh, yes,” Moonlight purred, ruminating on the pain in her upper thigh and just how good it made her feel. Finally, she met her stallion’s eyes, and the sight of his genuine concern made her heart flutter.
From talking with friends and family alike, Moonlight knew that a lot of stallions viewed their familial expectation of heat season as a chore. Unless they were actually trying to get their mares pregnant, many stallions looked forward to heat with a similar worrisome groan to that of the mares. It was understandable. Between the sex imbalance and the sheer neediness of mares in general, stallions often faced heat with the same dread as soldiers going into battle. Older veterans of such warfare had learned to properly pace themselves, hydrating and taking regular breaks as they learned to read when their mares really needed a good bucking while abstaining when the need was less great.
Thomas wasn’t like that one bit. Despite being told several times that this was all perfectly natural, Moonlight got the feeling that the human still wasn’t convinced. At times he looked at her with a determination she’d never seen before, like he was somehow fighting to protect her from her own urges. It was endearing, but also worrisome. He lacked the cultural familiarity of all other ponies that assured him all was well, which could potentially drive him into pushing past his limits.
Moonlight sorrowfully sighed as she slipped into the bathing pool and set Thomas down in her lap, facing away. She wrapped her arms tightly around his chest and pulled him in close, burying her nose into his hair. They sat in silence for a while, feeling the gentle ripples of the warm water tap against them while the steady flow from the fountain and distant cries of pain and pleasure made up the ambiance.
Carefully Thomas lifted his arms and pushed past Moonlight’s grip. She allowed it, and he draped his arms down over hers in a pseudo hug. Thomas knew he still had a long journey ahead of him on his quest to become socially literate, a feat he’d long accepted he’d be pursuing for the rest of his life. However, he mentally gave himself a pat on the back for reading that he needn’t say anything at this time. All Moonlight needed was to hold him close, to be mutually supportive of him and his ever-present feelings of doubt. Even so, the human still felt a bit uncomfortable just saying nothing, so he hummed instead.
It was a simple little diddy, the theme to “Der Fuehrer’s Face.” Hardly the most romantic thing the human could think of, but that was the point. He wanted to lighten the mood and put his mare in a state of relaxation. Much sooner than Thomas had expected, Moonlight’s horn lit, carrying a bar of soap and a washcloth. Scrubbing commenced, all while Thomas felt the rise and fall of Moonlight’s perky breasts and those sharp nipples digging into his back. Thomas just continued humming, waiting for Moonlight to give some signal that she was ready to speak.
“Do you think our room’s still messy?”
Thomas blinked. “What?”
“Our room. It was in quite the state when we left,” Moonlight reminded him with a soft laugh. She’d taken the washcloth out of her magic and was scrubbing her favorite human by hand.
“Oh, yeah,” Thomas recalled with a small chortle. That had been a while ago. “Sorry about that. You know how wild I can get,” he joked.
Moonlight laughed appreciatively. “You think the maids cleaned it up after we left? I’d hate to go back just to find all those bottles still on the floor.”
“Probably a few pills short,” Thomas offered. He leaned forward to give Moonlight easier access to his back.
“Probably,” Moonlight agreed, thinking of how tempting all those bottles might seem to some less-than-honest cleaning pony. Her thoughts drifted to more immediate concerns as she spared a thoughtful look down at her stallion’s bottom. It was still as cute as the first time she’d seen it, though definitely more toned. The life of a concubine demanded fitness. Her scrubbing was purely innocent, at least, for the moment. “What do you think of our curtains?”
“Don’t know,” Thomas answered. A smile crept across his face as he considered how silly he must look right now to have this larger mare washing him. He imagined he must look a lot like her child, but that struck an unfavorable chord with the human. Play and pretend were all well and good, but it surprised him how much it upset him to think Moonlight might be viewing him as less than an adult. “I think it’s your turn to be cleaned.”
“Okay,” Moonlight agreed amicably. She released her grip on the human, and her breasts suddenly felt cold for his absence. She ignored this and turned in her seat, giving him ample access to her back.
Silently thankful for Moonlight’s lack of protest, he took the washcloth in hand and started a gentle scrubbing along her spine. Her body tensed, and her fur stood on end from his touch. “Never put too much thought into curtains,” he offered, hoping a mundane conversation might take her mind off of other things. The cries of the other room seemed to be getting louder. “Guys aren’t normally the ones to care about that sort of thing.”
Moonlight laughed. “Right. Sometimes I still expect you to act like an Equestrian stallion.”
Thomas said nothing as he continued to scrub, curious where this was going.
“I’m glad you don’t,” she added. “It’s more fun that you keep surprising me.”
Thomas smiled flatly. Despite the reassurance of her words, a depressed mind could always be trusted to see the downside of things. “I hear spontaneity can be real good for a relationship,” he began. “I think I read doing stuff like shaking up household routines works well, but we don’t really have those.”
Moonlight hummed thoughtfully, concentrating more on her stallion’s words than his touch. It was true that their routine had become rather repetitive, especially with both their schedules revolving around Luna. She didn’t mind and had always been under the impression Thomas was the sort who liked his routines. However, the part of her that still saw him as a stallion convinced her that he was only bringing this up as a moderately subtle hint of what he wanted.
Her mind raced with possibilities to amend this oversight. Neither of them really cooked, apart from Luna’s lessons, and they subsisted primarily off the castle’s kitchens. Moonlight considered surprising Thomas with breakfast in bed, just something simple to show she cared. However, her stallion was a light sleeper. Between that and his admitted reliance on cozying up to a warm, soft mare as a sleep aid, she doubted she could extricate herself without his notice. Gifts would be tricky given their regular proximity to one another, but it wouldn’t be impossible to pull off, especially given their recent changeup with dating. A surprise vacation somewhere might also be nice. In the end, Moonlight decided she’d best just go to the source.
“Maybe. What did you have in mind?” Moonlight asked, only for her ears to perk at what she was reasonably sure was a disappointed huff.
“I just thought that, well, you guys all do so much to help me out that I should, you know, do something,” Thomas replied haphazardly.
Moonlight’s tail wrapped around her stallion’s back, snaked its way up his chest, and gave him a firm flick on the nose. She looked over her shoulder with a smirk. “Did you deserve that?”
Thomas rubbed his nose a moment, and then got back to scrubbing. “Probably,” he conceded.
Moonlight giggled at her… human’s face. “Right now, there’s only one thing I want from you,” she informed with a wry grin. “You’ve been very generous with giving it so far. But when this heat’s over, I think I’ll want to resume writing as soon as possible.”
“Really?” Thomas asked. “That’s all?”
“Don’t be silly,” Moonlight scoffed. “I won’t be the one doing the writing.”
Thomas raised his brow in intrigue.
“I’ll be too busy dictating while I rest my head in this one cute stallion’s lap,” she added.
“Cute stallion, huh?” Thomas asked with a smile. “Don’t tell me you’ve been seeing another guy behind my back.”
A sudden surge of hormones flared in Moonlight’s brain. She actually had to suppress the reflex to vigorously deny the allegations of infidelity, forcing herself to recognize the playful joke. “Fine. Then I won’t.”
Thomas planted his chin on Moonlight’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around her neck. She tensed, and he heard a faint squeak come from her throat. So he kissed her neck, deciding it was his turn for some mutually supportive hugging. She eventually relaxed.
“Thomas,” Moonlight playfully sang as she nuzzled his forehead and messed his hair.
“Light of the moon,” he replied experimentally, noting the way she tensed once more.
“Don’t go frivolously calling a mare in heat that,” she warned, her breath catching in her throat. “Not unless you’re willing to face the consequences.”
“Oh? And what if I’m so happy being with the greatest unicorn in the world that I’m willing to face those consequences?” he asked daringly.
“Greatest u—” Moonlight paused, finding herself momentarily speechless. Her cheeks were glowing hot, and her belly was growing hotter. “You don’t mean that,” she dismissed, hoping he’d argue.
“I don’t?” Thomas asked. “But I was so certain Moonlight Shield, the light of the moon, was best unicorn.” He let his grip relax and partially slid down her back until his lips were pressed into her shoulder. “I mean, what other unicorn has such pretty fur and a nice plot?”
Moonlight squeaked again. Her condition was being agitated.
“It’s like a yummy, juicy orange, just waiting to be devoured,” he said with a lusty growl.
“He’s got ya there!” Surprise announced.
Thomas and Moonlight barely had time to register the pegasus’ presence before she took off with a running start, soared over their heads, and performed a cannonball right into the pool.
Moonlight instinctively moved between her stallion and the imminent danger, taking the brunt of the harmless wave for all it was worth.
“H-honestly,” Silver stammered, sounding exhausted. “Some mares have no grasp of timing.”
Thomas and Moonlight looked back at the entryway to find Silver in front of Luna, though only the latter was standing. Silver was facing forward while her arms and legs were pulled back to wrap around the alicorn’s immense form. Luna, meanwhile, placed a hand gently on Silver’s stomach, holding her in place without magic. The giant cock currently wedged deep in the bat mare’s foal hole also helped keep Luna’s passenger steady as she stepped forward and gently entered the bath beside the others.
Thomas watched in awe as Luna planted herself beside him with Silver in her lap. The smaller silver mare was struggling to keep her face straight and not start bouncing. And while Luna’s expression was the pinnacle of serenity, Thomas felt reasonably confident that she was also struggling to hold herself back. His eyes trailed down Silver’s backside to the point where she and Luna connected. The sight of them walking like that had been immensely intriguing.
Surprise breached from the pool’s deep end, spitting out a small fountain of water. Her mane, despite being wet, somehow maintained its shape as she smiled at those sitting along the pool’s edge. “Wow, that feels good!”
“I con-concur,” Silver managed as she gently splashed water over her chest. “Nothing like a good soak after a ha-ha,” she panted, “hard day’s work.”
“You’re one to talk,” Thomas said, just barely tearing his eyes from the conjoined mares. “I’ve been the one fighting on the front lines for four days straight.”
“Very admirably, I might add,” Moonlight said. She lifted under Thomas’ arms and pulled him back onto her lap.
Surprise snickered as she watched the pair of matching pairs. “You guys look so cute right now. Wish I had a cozy lap to sit in,” she pouted.
“We can try something later,” Luna offered and patted the water beside her. There were definitely ideas she was eager to try. “For now, let us relax and cleanse ourselves.”
“Aye-aye, Moonbutt,” Surprise saluted and swam up beside Luna and took the offered spot.
Thomas regarded the flyers. The drug had caused their bodies to go through the same augmentation as Moonlight’s. Silver’s assets had swollen much more dramatically than Moonlight’s, her ass taking up almost half of Luna’s lap and her breasts on par with Moonlight’s before the drug. Surprise’s changes were less pronounced, but her almost comically large breasts were definitely taking up more space in the pool than usual, even as her ass pushed her several inches out of the water. Further, both of them also looked much calmer and lucid than they had back on the bed.
By some unspoken cue, all four mares sighed in utter relaxation and eased into their respective seats.
Thomas found the washrag floating in the pool. Figuring it had been dropped in the aftermath of Surprise’s distraction, he retrieved it and held it up in offering to whoever might want it. Silver took the rag with an appreciative nod and commenced scrubbing her pits.
“I take it you got them calmed down,” Thomas said to Luna.
She smiled and nodded. “A simple orgasm is insufficient for a mare in heat. It must be followed by the sensation of a stallion’s seed filling them up to quell their inner fire.”
Thomas nodded back, ruminating on what it meant that he was growing accustomed to such things as his first anthropomorphic girlfriend growing a penis to fuck his other kinda-sorta-girlfriends into contentment. “Makes sense,” he offered simply. “So I take it heat season has officially started?”
“Verily,” Luna said with an excited titter. She’d conjured a pair of washcloths of her own to start scrubbing Surprise and Silver. “There will still be servants to bring us food, clean the floors, and the like, but otherwise, the castle will be terribly quiet for the next week. Do you foresee this being a problem?” she asked.
Sighing in his own contentment, Thomas wiggled against the breasts on his back until he’d pushed them up. They were now resting over his shoulders and provided an excellent pillow to lay his head upon. “You ponies are awesome.”
Moonlight hummed happily. “He said I’m best unicorn,” she bragged.
“Pfft,” Silver scoffed. “He only says that because he gets to use you as his body pillow whenever he likes, even when the rest of us have other duties.”
Moonlight thought about this for a moment. “Probably.”
Luna crooned her head downwards. “Would those duties you speak of happen to involve a certain—”
“Quiet, Pet,” Silver snapped, causing Luna to go silent. “Your Mistress was speaking,” she said authoritatively, noting the way it caused the larger mare to shiver in excitement.
“Sorry, mistress,” Luna giddily cooed. She resumed cleaning her lap passenger.
“But yes,” Silver continued. “I am, alas, unable to obtain such a prestigious award on account of my duties as a body pillow to a very needy and very troublesome mare.”
“Also, you’re not a unicorn,” Surprise chirped. “Kinda hard to be best unicorn when you’re not very horny.”
“Phrasing,” Thomas deadpanned, earning gentle laughs from the others.
The moment of quiet persisted for some time. The man and four mares simply relaxed in the pool, allowing the comfortably warm water to gently caress their naked bodies. It was a moment of peace shared by the five. However, at that exact moment, the sixth member of their group was also enjoying a bath at her own home. She noted how the absence of her other lovers didn’t feel quite so strong, as if some sort of connection had been made. Then the moment died as a gurgle from their collective stomachs resonated around the bathroom(s).
Breakfast was devoured swiftly and brutally. Now sitting around the table in the bedroom, Surprise took her turn in Luna’s lap while Thomas remained in Moonlight’s. He didn’t mind her being a little clingy, but he noted that the more she ate, the hotter her body became.
“So what was that you were saying about giving Surprise a lap to sit in, Pet?” Silver asked. “It sounded as though you had something special in mind.”
Luna smiled and cast a spell of selective hearing over herself and Silver. Her mouth moved without sound and Silver’s ears perked in interest, all while the others watched and tried to read the mare’s lips. That is to say, all but Surprise, who didn’t need to try. She shook in giddy excitement at what they discussed.
“Should I be worried?” Thomas whispered to Moonlight.
Moonlight gave her human a flat stare.
“Right. Dumb question,” Thomas relented and hurried to finish eating.
“Thomas,” Luna spoke up, marking the end of the spell. “What would you say to a little… transformation magic?” She inclined her head thoughtfully.
“Depends,” Thomas replied, downing the remains of his orange juice. “What kind?”
“Us!” Surprise chirped with barely contained nervouscitement. “She wants to change us to… Never mind. She’ll tell it better.” She motioned for Luna to go on.
“Thank you, Surprise. How very thoughtful of you to allow me to speak.” Luna’s words were the very picture of innocence, so much so that Surprise immediately sensed that something wicked was on the horizon. Luna was not the sort to take such rude interruptions lightly, but she’d deal with that later.
“Anyway,” Luna resumed speaking to Thomas. “I was actually taking a look through your dreams yesterday, when I noticed something peculiar about the mares,” she informed with a sly grin.
Thomas frowned as he thought. Due to his insomnia, he’d woken up several times yesterday and had just as many dreams. He’d be hard-pressed for any narrative details, though he was reasonably sure the second one was one of those long epics. It wasn’t until after another moment of thought that Thomas blinked, his eyes wide in understanding. Though the dreams’ events were still a blur, there was only one he could recall where there was something different about the mares. “Th-that one?”
Luna nodded, a wide toothy grin splitting her face.
“What one?” Moonlight asked.
“Senior Concubine Thomas’ status as an oracle stems from knowledge from his world,” Luna informed, licking her lip in anticipation. “Specifically, his knowledge stems from a children’s story about small, magical equines who walk on four hooves, not unlike horses.”
Moonlight’s eyes widened as she looked between Thomas, who refused to meet her gaze, and Luna. “How small?”
“Oh! Ohohohohoh!” Surprise recovered from her post-orgasmic bliss and stuck her hand high in the air, waving it about, desperate for attention. “Me! Pick me! I volunteer.”
“Hmm,” Luna hummed and tapped her chin thoughtfully. “I think I shall pick…”
Surprise looked ready to vibrate right out of Luna’s lap, inadvertently stimulating the alicorn.
“… Silver.”
Surprise froze, eye twitching and looking ready to choke a bitch.
“Mistress,” Luna inclined. “May I?”
Beaming proudly, Silver shot a very dignified raspberry at Surprise before hopping off her chair. “You may.” She then sauntered over to the middle of the room, where the unofficial stage was agreed to reside. She went through a brief series of stretches to remove all prior kinks, finishing with a shake of her entire body. “You may begin, Pet.”
Luna beamed. With Surprise still in her lap, the alicorn closed her eyes and activated the spell. Thomas watched in awe as the bat mare’s body glowed with the teal aura of Luna’s magic.
Silver’s already small body—by pony standards—grew even smaller with the sound of creaking joints. She stretched her arms overhead, balling her hands into fists as the magic caused her fingers to fuse seamlessly together. Her head shrunk only a little while her eyes remained mostly the same, looking proportionally larger as the spell continued. Silver brought her new hooves down to the floor with a soft clop and arched her back like a cat, sticking her rump up. There was a faint churning sound as, while the bat mare continued to shrink overall, her wing sockets shifted from her back to her sides. The sounds of magical jingling and anatomical resetting ended, bringing the room to silence as the spell concluded.
“Well. How do I look?” Silver panted, sounding winded.
Somehow, Thomas’ jaw didn’t drop in awe. Silver was the spitting image of a G4 pony, only in hi-res. He could make out the texture of her fur and the faint veins in her wings as she lifted them for examination. Her shape was also leaner than the standardized models from the show.
“Eeeeeee!” squealed Surprise as she hopped from Luna’s lap, dashed across the floor in a blur, and swept Silver up in a mighty hug. “So-cute-so-cute-so-cuuuute!” she exclaimed.
Luna giggled at the sight, sparing only a brief glance at her still erect cock, flopping in the open-air and slick from recent use.
“Me-me-me! Do me next!” Surprise demanded, still holding Silver.
Luna nodded and cast the spell again. Surprise underwent the same transformation, slowly shrinking down to the floor and carrying Silver with her. When it was over, the big white mare was still relatively larger and able to hold Silver off the ground, but not for very long. Surprise’s compromised balance caused her to wobble back and forth while her wings and free arm flapped to keep her steady. Eventually, she had to lift off the ground to keep from falling, although her movements had a noticeable awkwardness. Her weight had changed, as did the strength in her wings. When it looked like she was about to fall again, she overcompensated and shot up to the ceiling, and smashed her head through a freshly made hole. Silver remained in her grasp, staring in awe and horror at her now headless friend, and pondering how she’d come literal inches from meeting the same fate.
“This is awesome!” came Surprise’s muffled declaration.
Luna cupped a hand over her lips to keep from laughing as she carefully levitated the altered mares from the ceiling to the ground. “P-perhaps you should try w-walking first,” she strained to say.
The altered mares agreed. Both took slow and measured steps, to begin with. The movements were awkward, but quickly grew even with practice. It wasn’t long before Surprise was merrily prancing around the room while proudly strutted as if down the catwalk.
Thomas couldn’t tear his eyes off the sight. There they were, real G4 ponies in the flesh. It was incredible. This sentiment was shared when Thomas felt a stirring and looked up at Moonlight. She was downright transfixed by her friends’ new forms. Feeling a stab of curiosity in his brain, he asked, “What are you thinking right now?”
“… I want that.”
Thomas chuckled. “I can see that, but why? I mean, I know why I think this is cool,” he gestured at the altered pair, “but what about you?”
“I… I’m not entirely sure. If I had to put it into words, I… I think it’d be tribal envy.”
“Huh.”
“You know,” Surprise began. “Unicorns who wish they were as tough as earth ponies, earth ponies who wish they could soar through the clouds like a pegasus, and pegasi who wish they could set fire to things just by thinking about it like unicorns.”
“Unicorns don’t do that,” denied Moonlight in mild offense.
“No, but you could if you wanted to.”
“I think tribal envy is a good term, too,” Silver interjected while testing her wings. “Although, I am not sure why. I never knew that this was an actual tribe, yet it is… just so much fun!” She tittered as she got a running start and took to the air. The room was spacious, especially for her diminished size, but she had to start turning immediately after takeoff to keep from crashing. In no time, she was soaring circles across the ceiling, changing speed, and adapting muscle memory into this new shape. Her laughter was hearty and celebratory.
It was also contagious. Not one to be left behind, Surprise followed after Silver. Her flight was a bit more awkward given her body type, but she adjusted all the same. Before long, the two flew side-by-side, diving, barrel-rolling, and generally playing as only winged ponies could.
“I’m ready,” informed Moonlight as she set Thomas to the floor and stood. Her chest rose with heavy breathing laden with nerves.
Thomas wondered if this ‘tribal envy’ was some serious cultural issue that he’d been ignorant of until now. However, when Moonlight turned a hungry stare from Luna to him, he knew she had other things in mind.
The spell was cast far smoother and quicker the third time around, and Moonlight now stood no taller than Thomas’ waist. She sat back to examine her new front hooves and test their feel on both the floor and her new body. Touching her own horn was especially fascinating for her. The new textures had the most peculiar tingle. When that lost its novelty, her gaze returned to Thomas. So many things had changed with this transformation. Her sense of smell and the burning beneath her tail were not among them. “Thomas…” Her voice had a lyrical hum, like the villain calling to someone in a slasher flick.
However, unlike before, Thomas had no sense of reservation to overcome. Moonlight had become small, cute, and not even the lustful hunger in her eyes could make her look intimidating. So rather than backing away, he approached. The man scooped up the mare and hugged her tightly. She was remarkably light. “Ha!” he laughed while rubbing his cheek into the fine texture of her neck fur. “Let’s see how you like being the travel-sized cute one for a change.”
“Nnngh!” Moonlight whined. A very complex set of feelings were clashing within her right now. Her stallion was holding her. He’d picked her up in his – relatively – strong arms and was squeezing her with his affection. His nuzzling was even more appreciated, making her feel comforted in his grasp. On the other hand, even after having just washed, his smell was still potent, especially this close. She didn’t like her hooves dangling helplessly in the air. She held an even greater dislike for the sense of being restrained just out of reach of that which she coveted most. It was right down there. She could see it. It was offensively limp, but that could be fixed. At least, it should be, but her stallion was holding her all wrong. Her hormones demanded that he hold her from the back, rather than the side. She needed to be held so that that which belonged to her could be properly sheathed within. However, she was being held infuriatingly just out of reach. She tried again to vocalize her distress, but all that came out was another “Nnngh!”
“Fascinating.”
Thomas looked up to see that Luna had already transformed. She was the spitting image of her show counterpart and stood just shy of eye level with him. Feeling playful, he adjusted his grip to hold Moonlight bridal style and carried her over to the larger mare. “Look at what I got.”
Feeling an alien sense of self-consciousness, Moonlight tucked her hooves in to cover her exposed belly. Looking down, it only now occurred to her that her teats had shrunken and migrated south to her lower abdomen. Her mind raced with panic. Thomas liked my old body, but what about this? I’m little better than an animal now! Can he still find me attractive? Does he hate me? Is he only holding me like this so he can toss me off the balcony? Why did I ever agree to this!? Moonlight’s spiraling was halted when Thomas pressed his lips to her muzzle, and she gave a quiet squeak. When he pulled back, Luna came back into view and kissed the unicorn as well.
“I see what you’ve got,” Luna finally answered. “And I quite like it.”
“Thank you,” Thomas chuckled.
“You are most welcome.”
“Oy!” called Surprise impatiently, suddenly looking rather disheveled. “That’s real cute and all, but I’m getting heated over here. Somepony better do something about that, or there’ll be trouble.”
Silver nodded, despite also shaking from her need for her next fix. “Indeed. Pet, get that sexy dark plot over here and put it to use.” She gestured at her backside. “Let’s break this new body in.”
Everyone got into position, now very well adept at the task with minimal need for speaking. They’d assembled on the bed. Luna’s transformed state still had an impressively long horse cock dangling beneath her belly and ready to be used on her fellow winged mares. Thomas and Moonlight got on the other side of the bed and awkwardly attempted to feel things out.
“Do you want to lie on your back or… or should we use some pillows?” Thomas asked.
“I think it’d be best if we do it the regular way.” Moonlight made her point by turning her back on Thomas, dropping her front to the sheets, and flagging her tail to reveal her sex.
Maybe it was all the time Thomas had spent around these nudist ponies, or maybe he’d been a degenerate long before, but he appreciated that Moonlight’s sex had not significantly changed. It was still a pink slit surrounded by orange skin and resting directly beneath a mildly pink pucker. Her sex winked like it always did, the inner walls pushing out slightly as if to beckon him in.
Another bout of heat-addled panic struck Moonlight as she fretted what Thomas’ lack of response might mean.
Thomas, after finally coming back to himself, set his hands on the mare’s butt cheeks. He laughed when she sucked in a hissing breath, and he began gliding his palms over her cheeks. “You’ve got a really nice butt,” he appraised. “Hardly changed at all.”
“You have no idea how much I needed to hear that right now,” groaned Moonlight. “But your hands. They’re so… big!” She briefly bit her lower lip before saying, “It makes me anxious. What else is… big?”
“How about this?” Thomas didn’t bother elaborating before pressing his face between the mare’s cheeks. She squealed as her marehood gave a prolonged wink. He took advantage of this by grabbing her exposed clit between his lips and sucking. The mare’s body shook, almost vibrating, as a long and mewling cry escaped her lips. When her clit retreated, Thomas gave pursuit. He kissed over her shrunken slit and lapped along its leaking folds. “Yummy,” he said before stabbing his tongue inside. Moonlight’s sounds were like music to his ears as he adjusted his grip on her flanks. She was still sensitive in all the same spots, give or take an inch or two, but that was on the outside. Inside, his tongue felt more cramped than usual. On the plus side, he was able to cover proportionally more space at once, driving his mare wild.
“Nnnnnngh!” Moonlight had to cover her front hooves over her snout to muffle her screams. This was unlike the previous times he’d given her oral. A stallion putting his lips on a mare’s marehood was hot in its own right, but now his tongue was reaching depths it had never explored before. It was like she was being filled by an unnaturally flexible penis, able to bend in pursuit of her pleasure spots. And hot damn, did it find them! Moonlight’s orgasm struck her like a startled snake, causing her body to seize up and her marehood to clench down possessively on its intruder. Love juice poured freely from her love tunnel and all over her stallion’s face. The only thing that could make this more embarrassing was if… *Gulp* Yup. He’d just swallowed some. She’d climaxed in her stallion’s face, and now he was drinking her nectar straight from the source. If the forces of Destiny saw fit to strike her with lightning right now, she wouldn’t mind too much.
Thomas, oblivious to his mare’s self-torment, pulled back with a satisfied, “Ah. Who needs coffee when you have mares?”
“Verily!” announced Luna, calling attention to herself.
Thomas and Moonlight beheld what could only be called a pony sandwich. Luna was standing proud with knees slightly bent. Between her back legs were the bases of a whopping two cocks. Only the bases were visible, as a pair of mares were consuming the rest. Surprise was on the bottom, and surprisingly, on her back. She’d wanted to look into her lovers’ eyes while being pounded into. Silver played the role of sandwich meat, resting atop Surprise’s belly and being squished between the two larger mares. Her eyes had rolled to the back of her head as Luna nibbled her ear and Surprise devoured her lips.
Encouraged by the erotic sight, Thomas looked down and locked eyes with Moonlight. She whimpered in pleading, and he lacked the will to resist. “You want it?”
“Pleeease!”
Thomas adjusted himself on his knees. There was a slight height issue, so he had to push Moonlight’s butt down a bit for him to be able to reach. He licked his lips as everything was lined up. He touched the tip of his cock to her winking lips and felt a spark of excitement when the two organs touched. Her body went tense, and even her cute little pucker started to twitch with need. “Okay, here it goes,” he said with a bit of uncertainty.
The first few millimeters slipped in with little fuss. Both mare and man were especially mindful of their situation as something new, and therefore exciting and frightening. Thomas went a little further until the head was inside. “Oh, fuck, you’re tight!” He really ought not to have been so surprised, but this still caught him off guard. Her undulating vaginal walls constricted tightly around his shaft like she was trying to swallow him.
On Moonlight’s end, she tried to control her winking to draw Thomas deeper inside. He’d always seemed to feel inadequate about his penis size compared to other stallions, and size had never mattered to her anyway, so she’d never thought to bring up the subject. However, taking Thomas like this sent her to whole new levels of pleasure. She buried her muzzle in her hooves to suppress her lustful cries as the unique shape penetrated and touched places it had never reached before. Was this why some mares preferred bigger dicks? Maybe, but she preferred Luna’s stallionhood when it was shaped like Thomas’, regardless of size, so this was most likely just improving on a good thing. Even so, she loved the way his mushroom head felt while constricted within her stretched vaginal walls.
Out of habit, Thomas reached beneath Moonlight and fondled where her tits should be. “Oops,” he laughed and sent his hands down. Her teats were smaller, but were just as fun to squeeze, especially when Moonlight’s pitch raised. The angle was a little awkward, but he gleefully went mad with power over his lover. “I love it when you make those cute sounds. Do more.” He didn’t wait for a response before nibbling her ear, flipping the mare’s vibration switch. Thomas hadn’t started thrusting yet, but the sudden motion massaged his dick and threatened to bring him to an early climax. Laughing, he tightened his hold to maintain the friction but keep her from vibrating away. “You ponies are fantastic!”
Pushed over the edge, Moonlight carelessly threw her head up and crowed, “Bucking Faust! Just buck me already!”
Mindful how Moonlight’s horn was in range to cause potential harm, Thomas put his hand on her neck to push her down. “Try not to move too much, okay.”
Moonlight’s sex-addled brain gave those words a sinister undertone. Her mind painted her st-her man looking big and brutish, holding her down with a maniacal smile as he readied to have his way with her. It was terrifying, almost unnatural, and she hoped to remember to try this after her heat passed.
Gripping the smaller body close to his, Thomas started moving. Her fur felt extra soft as it glided over his front. While tight, her sex didn’t hamper his thrusting as he acclimated to the feel and built a rhythm.
“F-faster!” Moonlight bleated. “Don’t h-hold back. Give me eeeverythiiing!”
Emboldened by her demand, Thomas quickened his pace. He even dared to throw in some dirty talk. “N-never had someone this small before. You’re like my little cock sleeve.”
“Buck, I’m your sleeve! Use me. Ram me full of your stallion meat. Feed my foal hole and make me yours!”
“You already are,” Thomas growled as he pulled Moonlight with him onto their sides. He continued holding her whole body like she was nothing but a toy, his personal cum dump. Thomas’ thoughts grew more wild and beastly as the animalistic hormones compelled him to go harder. She’d stopped covering her mouth as a series of barely coherent swears flowed forth. Thomas tried to ignore them in favor of the wet slaps of his hips against hers. He heard and felt the squishing of each penetration into her wet tunnel. Looking ahead, he saw the other mares had grown equally amorous with biting, groping hooves, and lewd horse noises. Thomas tried biting Moonlight’s neck as Luna had with Silver, and her swearing became less coherent.
Moonlight Shield had left the building. Between her heat and new shape, she’d been reduced to a feral animal who craved nothing but Thomas’ breeding toy. She tried to tell him, but the words came out garbled. Each thrust impacted her flanks, sending ripples through her plot and jolts of pleasure through her nerves. Words became unnecessary as she cried out for more of his delicious prick. When she felt her mate erupt into her quivering snatch, she shamelessly shrieked into the air. A part of her almost hoped the entire castle heard what her love had done for her. Even as her brain went white-hot with post-orgasmic bliss, her heat-addled mind grew clearer with the cooling of her inner flame.
Thomas held onto Moonlight’s shrunken body like he feared his ejaculation might send her flying. As best she could, she wrapped her legs around his arms, almost like she shared his fear, which made him smile. He rode out his orgasm pressed tight into her sex, knowing how much she loved taking every last drop. Curious, he peeked around her side to see if his load had caused any noticeable inflation in her smaller body. He saw nothing, dismissed the notion in amusement as utterly absurd, and then saw Silver and Surprise’s stomachs inflating like balloons. … Fucking ponies, man.
Satisfied that she’d done her duty, Luna pulled out of her winged lovers. She turned to Thomas with feral eyes and a maniacal grin before lighting her horn. The alicorn dragged the man and unicorn over to her, bringing him up nose-to-nose as she stared him down. “Don’t think you’re done yet,” she hissed, licking her lips.
While initially concerned that Luna had lost her senses, Thomas got a stupid idea to defuse the situation. He booped the royal snoot.
Taken aback, Luna went cross-eyed and wiggled her nose like she was trying to dislodge something. When the moment passed, she turned back to Thomas with a pouting scowl. “Buck you.”
Thomas’ grin grew broad and impish as he said, “That’s the idea.”
“Ugh, just mount me, already!” Luna spun around and presented her bootylicious plot for his enjoyment, minus the stallion parts. Instinct took hold, and she slowly eased her frustration at her failure to create a frightening mood. Stallions liked aggressive mares, but only up to a point. At this stage, the mare needed to lower her front and submissively present herself for the stallion to take charge. Luna did just that, silently noting how the stance felt quite natural in her new shape.
Thomas’ legs felt a little wobbly, but he still staggered forward until he caught himself on Luna’s rump. His hands trailed down the smooth and rounded surface in adoration.
“What are you doing back there?” Luna impatiently whined.
Thomas chuckled. “It feels just like the regular one, only smaller.”
Luna shivered as she ground her teeth together. Thomas’ touch was light, tender, and teasing. That’s not what she wanted. Her body craved good, hard pounding from his hole-filler, yet he held back. Did he have any idea how cruel it was to tease a mare as aroused as her? She hoped he did, as the tender caresses built her anticipation. “J-just shut up and buck me!” She pushed her rump back for emphasis.
“Right.” Thomas nodded and lined everything up. Luna was tall enough that he didn’t need to squat. He dug his fingers into her booty, watching his fingers sink into the plush flesh, and massaged her cheeks apart. Her slit winked like mad, and her anus twitched with equal need. “Well, here it comes,” Thomas announced. Instead of carefully entering, he slammed inside. Luna lustfully gasped and threw her head back, making the human grin. “Yeah, I figured you’d want it rough, too.”
“Indeed,” Luna said through clenched teeth. “Now, hurry and give the royal rump what it deserves.”
Still worked up from his recent fuck, and likely under the influence of various pills and spells, Thomas’ erection held true as he quickly built a rapid pace. Wet slaps complimented lewd grunts as he repeatedly entered Luna’s snatch. Her winking pussy repeatedly clenched around his manhood like it was trying to swallow the meat. It entranced him to watch her smaller body move along the sheets with each thrust. She was roughly Silver’s regular size, so it was a fun opportunity to push the big mare around for a change. However, seeing her twitching made him empathize with an imagined sense of emptiness. “Here, let me fix that.”
Luna had no time to ask for clarification before she felt Thomas’ thumb plunge into her pucker. “Bucking stars above!” she triumphantly roared. Her anus welcomingly stretched around the intruder as the rest of her butt pushed back to take more. Like Moonlight, Luna enjoyed Thomas’ unique shape more than his size, but the relative size difference was still a welcome bonus. She loved the stretching in her foal hole and made numerous un-princessly sounds. Shrieks and moans filled the room as she slammed her hips back to meet Thomas’ thrusts.
However, when Luna caught the other mares moaning in their semi-satisfied blissful states, she grew a wicked grin. Then, using her magic, she pulled all three mares before her, flipped their bellies up, and presented their lower halves for her inspection. Even in her sex-addled state, Luna licked her lips and cast several complex spells. The gist was to create two hovering, disembodied tongues and position them over Silver and Surprise’s marehoods. Of course, all slippery organs were under Luna’s direct control, but she felt it best to save Moonlight for her real tongue.
As Thomas continued ravishing her marehood, Luna dove in and greedily devoured her lovers’ sexes. Three distinct flavors treated her taste buds as she licked at their gashes. Feminine nectar mixed with gooey masculine cream and created an orgy of flavor in the alicorn’s mouth. All three tongues penetrated deep into each mare, pushing aside their winking lips to clean them out. Moonlight moaned in partial protest, not wanting to lose her hard-earned seed, but the allure of the long and flexible organ was too much to resist.
Thomas watched and listened to all these lewd sounds as he hammered away into Luna’s slit. Each impact rippled her plush bottom, made even more intense when she started slamming back to meet his thrusts. The sight of her beautiful bottom competed with the three mares squirming under oral assault for his attention. Thomas chose to look straight ahead, as it enabled him to see both Luna’s rear and Moonlight’s happily twisted expression. He didn’t know if this setup counted as a threesome, or what. Thomas only knew that he loved ponies, loved pony magic, and loved the sounds of these specific ponies as they came once more.
Thomas’ legs felt like jelly. He emptied his balls into Luna’s hungry sex, yet only stayed standing thanks to her grand booty supporting his weight. Her back, while differently shaped, was still a pleasant place to rest. Yet, for all of the performance enhancers coursing through his system, his flesh was still weak and spongy.
As the shockwaves of climax ebbed, Luna felt a wave of drowsiness. As an alicorn, she still had the stamina to go on for hours, yet something about a stallion relaxing atop her back post-coitus made her drowsy. It was instinctual, much like how pinching the back of a cat’s neck was effectively an off button, regardless of age. In this case, the mare had received her stallion’s seed, low murmurs of satisfaction filled the air, and Luna was overcome with the urge to cuddle up and rest with her herd. So she did.
Luna lit her horn, dispelled the tongues, and moved them all up to the head of the bed. While she could have also dispelled the transformation, it seemed more fun to snuggle up in these altered forms. Luna sat upright and pulled each of the smaller bodies to her barrel. Seeing them resting so peacefully caused her to yawn. She laid her head atop Surprise, who was comfier than any pillow. She went into a meditative state to access the dream realm. Lots of other ponies were also tuckered out by this point, so it only seemed fair that she attended their day dreams. Feeling playful, she rationalized that her duty was to give her sex-crazed little ponies more romantic dreams than sexual ones. Their spirits also needed to rest during these trying times, especially the stallions, so it seemed reasonable to push romantic scenarios and remind all herds of the love they felt for each other. She even called on Cadence to help craft scenarios that were only borderline lewd to nurture the ponies’ desires, and not just their bodies.
Her task completed, Luna surrendered to her compulsion to rest with those she cherished above all. When Honey got back, she was going to be snuggled extra hard to make up for her absence.
Following the conclusion to Moonlight’s heat, she and Thomas were in quite the predicament. Luna had given them the next few days off to tend to the after-effects of heat. First and foremost, this included her clinginess with her stallion. So, they lay in bed in their private apartment with Moonlight cuddling up to Thomas. Both had scarcely moved since their morning bathroom routine and ordering breakfast.
“Life alert, I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up,” Thomas faux cried out as a unicorn rested her head on his chest and clung to him like she was afraid he might drift away if she let go.
“Hush, you. This isn’t so bad,” Moonlight argued, heightening her pitch to sound extra feminine and just a little bit petulant. “I know I’m enjoying our intimacy.”
“Well, of course, you are. You’re all cuddled up to a smoking hot piece of man meat, but think about me,” Thomas whined as his fingers glided through Moonlight’s mane and caressed her scalp. When he touched her properly, she rewarded him with a cute ear flick, a moan, or a leg twitch. Naturally, as with any human given even the smallest amount of power, he abused it without remorse. “I’ve got a gorgeous mare laying on top of me and rubbing her naked boobs all over my chest. Have a little sympathy for my plight.”
“Sympathy? This is your fault.” Moonlight shifted up along Thomas’ body so that her snoot was below his chin. “You spent the last few days quenching my heat, and this is the result. You need to take responsibility for my body’s reaction to your… cock,” she finished with a feminine titter. “That’s such a funny word for it.”
Thomas thoughtfully hummed as he stared up at the ceiling and continued stroking her mane. “Hmm, it seems like responsibility ought to come with certain privileges. Like, when you’re old enough to choose your own bedtime, that’s a responsibility and a privilege. If I’m going to spend all day being a pretty mare’s body pillow, I ought to get something out of it, ya know?”
“This is your job. You’re literally paid to let pretty mares have their way with your body,” Moonlight deadpanned as she nuzzled under Thomas’ chin. Their height difference kept her pelvis away from his in this position. However, she still tried to wrap her legs around his to satisfy her possessive craving.
“True, but I’m off the clock, remember. I’m doing this” —Thomas emphasized, gliding his fingers across her smooth and broad back, earning a sound akin to purring—“out of the kindness of my own heart. Aren’t I owed something for that?”
Moonlight grumbled her frustration. “You greedy dragon. You’re completely missing the point of generosity. You do nice things because they’re nice, not so that you’ll get something out of it.”
“Not exactly. You show generosity to others to make their day a little nicer, true. However, you expect them to turn around and be generous to someone else, and so on and so forth. It’s like a domino effect to make the world just the tiniest bit better, and somewhere down the line, your good deeds come back to you to make your day that much better. If you think about it that way, generosity is a high-risk investment where you have no idea if it’ll pay off, but you still hope you’ll at least get karma points out of it. That’s totally greedy.”
Moonlight further tightened her grip around Thomas, removed her muzzled from under his chin, and pressed her lips to his cheek. “I love how your mind works.”
“Seriously?” Thomas chuckled.
“Seriously. I’ve never heard something like that before, but it feels like it makes sense. It’s like a compromise between pony and dragon views. Hehe, I wonder if you could use that to argue for dragons to be a little nicer.”
Thomas popped his lips in consideration. “Aren’t there already some nicer dragons out there? I know there’s Spike, but isn’t there also, like, a dragon neighborhood in Manehatten?”
“Yes, but I think I heard that those dragons are basically outcasts for acting weak and ponish. The way you say it, greed and generosity sound almost the same.” Moonlight snickered. “I wonder what Rarity would think about that.”
Thomas craned his head to look down at the orange mare. “You know Rarity? I don’t think we ever properly met.”
“Well, she’s a celebrity. I know of her. I heard that some ponies are writing books about the Element Bearers and how we should emulate them. She’s bonded to the physical embodiment of generosity, so I bet she’d be interested in this new way of looking at it.”
“Sounds like you’re the one who’s interested,” Thomas said, planting a kiss halfway between her nose and eyes.
“Maybe,” Moonlight hummed and licked his nose. “Or maybe I just want an excuse to hear your voice.”
“Fair enough,” Thomas allowed. “We can just put this on the tab for things you owe me.”
“Ass,” Moonlight chuckled and lightly smacked Thomas’ shoulder.
Thomas nodded. “Right, well, I think Rarity’d agree. She might be generous, but she’s also the greediest of the mane six. She’s always doing things like gem-hunting or looking for other ways to improve her products and business. That’s greedy. At the same time, if she sees someone down on their luck, she’ll literally cut off her tail if she thinks it’ll help. Then again, if she only does that sort of thing when others are watching, that’s extra greedy because she’s only doing it to better her reputation. Although for the time I’m thinking of, I’m pretty sure she’d have done the same anyway. It’s a duality that makes her character interesting.”
“Character?” Moonlight questioned. “Oh, this is an oracle thing, isn’t it?”
***
Meanwhile, at her post just outside her charge’s room, Jet’s ears perked. The mushy banter had almost put her to sleep. However, the mention of opposing philosophies, and now his oracle visions, had rendered her thoroughly awake. She scratched her ear to make sure the listening spell was attuned correctly.
***
Thomas shrugged. “Kinda. The show was a big hit with a surprisingly older demographic. Older people like discussing fan theories, and the smart ones really break things down to get super analytical. I’m probably just talking out of my ass, but I think the idea is that generosity and greed are two halves of the same coin. Rarity wants to be rich and famous, but she also wants to help out others. That’s not new, but what makes her special is that she actually upholds her ideals, at least for the most part.”
“That’s unusual?”
Thomas turned a confused look on Moonlight. “For humans, it is. Lots of us aspire to all kinds of good ideals, but most fall short in the worst ways. Some think that just being part of a religion automatically makes them good, and that they’ve got the freedom to be total buttheads to anyone outside that religion. It gets worse when there’s power involved. No one tries to get rich and expects they’ll turn into total monsters, but a lot of them do. They see how much more successful they are than others, think they’re better than others, and rationalize that they deserve to tell others how to live their lives. Is that really not a pony thing?”
“Well, maybe a little,” Moonlight conceded. “Business ponies who become rich because of their cutie marks are just following their destinies. If a pony has a cutie mark in investing, they make money by telling other ponies what to do with their money. I guess some petty bureaucrats like to stick their noses where they’re not wanted and micromanage ponies’ lives, but I don’t think it’s as bad as what you’re saying.”
Thomas snorted a laugh. “I guess that’s another point for ponies being great.”
“This is spoiling my emotionally vulnerable state,” Moonlight whined. “Ponies have cutie marks, so we’re more prone to competency in whatever trade our cutie mark represents. but we’re also more confined. We generally won’t have the desire or skill for things outside of our cutie mark. My cutie mark is one for protection and guarding valuables. This means that while I can cook alright, I’ll have the natural aptitude of a great cook, or much desire to enter a cooking contest like a pony with a cooking cutie mark would. If humans don’t have magical destinies, then it’s scary and confusing. So you just do whatever you think is best, even if it isn’t.” She clung possessively around Thomas’ torso as she spoke.
“But…”
“No,” Moonlight firmly cut him off. “Just because you have the potential to be bad, that doesn’t make you bad. Since you’ve been here, you’ve made Luna, me, and so many others happy. You’ve shared knowledge that’s made Equestria safer, and you’ve helped pull our long-lost Princess into a happier place. Something evil wouldn’t do that.”
“No! That’s enough.” Moonlight sealed Thomas’ lips shut with a kiss as she pulled more of her weight atop his body. He could handle it, but she wanted to distract him from these irksome thoughts by crushing him against the mattress. “We’ll talk about your issues with your species later, I promise.” Her tone brokered no argument. “But right now, I need you to say something happy. Help put me in a better headspace so that when my hormones finally calm down, I can help you with your views about your species.” She grinned and added, “How’s that for paying my tab?”
***
Jet assumed that the relative quiet was filled with something sappy, like romantic kissing. At times like these, she wished she were a unicorn to magically take notes, but no matter. She trusted her memory well enough, and this was undoubtedly a memorable conversation. It all but confirmed some of the things that Firestorm had theorized, but also reinforced some of her theories. Jet firmly disagreed with Moonlight. On his own, Thomas might be harmless and even well-meaning, but that potential to do harm couldn’t be ignored. As unlikely as it was, if they achieved further contact with the human world, this aspect of their nature would have to be considered. However, she doubted this revelation was enough to convince her superiors to change their current plans. For now, all she could do was continue keeping her eyes and ears open.
***
“I mean it,” Moonlight firmly added, though still sounding like a petulant child throwing a low-key tantrum. “As soon as I’m better, we’re gonna talk about this.”
“Sure,” Thomas allowed, stroking her mane until she calmed. “Something happy, huh? Well, how about something cool. Do you know what a dinosaur is?”
“I think so. They’re like the horses of dragons. They look similar but are just animals. I think they’re all dead, except for an island reserve. Why?”
“Well, something interesting happens when dead things decompose over millions of years. If a dinosaur fell into something like a tar pit, it preserves the bones, which we put back together in museums. But if they die normally, there’s an interesting chemical reaction,” Thomas explained with a boyish grin. “They turn into this stuff called oil, which can be refined into fuel. You know all those magical lights that light up the night? Well, humans have that too, but we fuel it with things like oil. Humans light our cities, heat our homes, and even fly in the sky using the bones of ancient titans.”
Moonlight went bug-eyed. “Whoooa! That’s incredible.”
Thomas beamed. “Sure is.”
“Whole cities…”
“Countries,” Thomas corrected. “Countries across continents.”
“Humans must be incredible alchemists,” Moonlight awed.
“I might be wrong, but I think it’s only called alchemy if there’s magic involved. We just call it chemistry. Petroleum engineers make good money, though.”
“Wait, this is like from those dreams. I remember. Cars run on gas, right?”
“Yup. Gas fuels cars, lights, and just about everything. We use other things, but it’s mostly gas. You want me to tell you about nuclear power?”
Moonlight rapidly nodded.
“You sure? It’s pretty much the most powerful thing humans have any kind of control over, but I basically know nothing about it. I can give you a half-assed description, at best.”
As Thomas gave his so-called half-assed description, Jet counted her blessings that she’d already emptied her bladder. The CEI and its rivals relentlessly hunted artifacts and individuals that wielded even a fraction of the power he described. Most of the time, heroes sprung up to either vanquish the power or repurpose it into something benign and beneficial to the masses. In either case, those powers were never as widespread as the picture Thomas painted. And the weapons… He grew evasive at that part, but Jet remembered Firestorm’s instructions to listen to what Thomas didn’t say. This would undoubtedly color any hypothetical relations with the human world. If there was even a hint of war, Jet hoped that her superiors would have the wisdom to cease all contact and close all portals immediately. Equestria’s martial might was nothing to scoff at, but this sounded like a war that no pony could win. While she didn’t know what these weapons of Thomas’ world were capable of, her gut feeling gave doubt as to even their survival as a species, much less their culture as they currently knew it.
***
Meanwhile, Moonlight was more spellbound by Thomas’ words. Smokestacks with the volume of skyscrapers sounded wondrous. Unlike coal plants, these belched up great plumes of steam from the water constantly pouring atop the eternally heating process. Moonlight was no scholar, but her unicorn instincts still demanded that she understand this process. Atom splitting and radiation; these things sounded so much like science fiction, yet were so mundane for humans that their leaders constantly debated how to use them. The question of ‘if’ had long passed. Even imagining all that heat was turning her on, but she bit her bottom lip to stifle the tingle. Common sense dictated that mares needed to take a break a couple of days following heat, or else suffer soreness as they’ve never imagined. “C-can we talk about something else?” she strained to ask. “Something… less intense?”
Thomas grinned impishly. “Why? Is heat that matches the sun too… hot to talk about?” he teased. “All those great big rods, burning so hot they glow and constantly drenched in water just to keep them bearable. Does that make you uncomfortable?”
Moonlight growled through gritted teeth. “Luna told you. I know she did! So stop toying with my emotions.”
“Stop being so cute, and I’ll think about it,” Thomas taunted, still stroking her mane. Her mewling whine was adorable, especially when she squirmed against his body. He felt the building heat in her loins and broadened his grin. “See, this is what happens when you give humans power. We just can’t help ourselves.”
“You monster,” Moonlight whimpered, fighting the urge to start humping his side. “You’d better stop if you know what’s good for you.”
“Complain all you want. Nothing’s gonna happen anyway. In case you forgot, I’m spent. I didn’t even have any morning wood for you to play with.”
“As soon as I recover, that’s something you’ll owe me. Now, say something to calm me down before I lose it!”
“Would it help if I called you cute?”
“Explain…”
“Well, I noticed that your nose is a little small compared to other mares. Everyone knows that small things are cute. Therefore, you have a cute nose.”
Moonlight seethed atop her mate. “Okay, that doesn’t help. Compliments like that make me happy, not calm. Say something else.”
“There was this cartoon I once saw. These two girls had really big butts. A third girl with a smaller butt tried to bounce a quarter off one of them, only for it to come back so hard that it knocked her back. Then someone did the same, but put the other big-butted girl in the way. The coin bounced so fast that it achieved light speed and disappeared.”
Moonlight snorted a laugh. “Better, but that just makes me want to see if that’s possible. Luna and Celestia?”
“I think they’d be insulted if we didn’t include them. Oh, maybe we can do a tournament. Get all the best butts in Canterlot to… No, that’s silly. Who’d want to see a butt tournament, anyway?”
“I would,” Moonlight deadpanned. “I’d pay good money to see that, especially if the Princesses were competing.”
“Hmm, but we’ve got three Princesses. Think there’s a way to bounce one coin between three butts, or would we have to get extras?”
“Okay, now you’re talking crazy. Prime numbers and geometric shapes are powerful magical instruments. If you made a magically charged triangle between three alicorn butts, who knows what could happen.”
Thomas waited a moment to ask. “I don’t know, what?”
“That’s what we need to find out!” Moonlight exclaimed and sat up, flinging the covers from her body. “We need to find the Princesses and—” Though the room was comfortably heated, the chill of her lover’s absence still stung, so she cuddled back into place. “Dammit, Thomas. You’re terrible at calming mares,” she chided as she levitated his hand back onto her head.
“In my defense, you’re still cute, so I’m not really trying,” he chuckled. “You’re like a needy puppy begging for pets.”
Moonlight growled in her frustration. “Tell me a story.”
“Sure, what kind?”
“I don’t know. Something fun yet calming. It should be exciting, but not too exciting. Also, can there be romance?”
Thomas gave Moonlight a soft wtf look. “Romance, really?”
“Grr, stop listening to what I say and do what I waaant,” Moonlight pouted.
Thomas laughed and playfully flicked the mare’s ear. His inner cynic said that Moonlight was just putting on a show, pretending to be vulnerable to make him feel useful. That notion didn’t seem so bad. After the last few days, he’d seen and heard the sincerity in his mares’ demands. They’d genuinely needed him, and he’d been all too happy to satisfy that need. It was satisfying on his end, too. And if some of that vulnerability was still lingering, or if she was just putting up a front like some sort of game, then he had no issue playing along. Needy Moonlight was cute, and cute things deserved a little pampering now and then.
“Alright, how about the story of some twins who spend the summer with their con artist great uncle out in the middle of nowhere, only to discover all sorts of wild and weird mysteries that make the town more than it seems?”
Moonlight hummed her contemplation. “I question the human definition of weirdness. You still think magic is something special,” she condescended.
“There’s a pyramid-shaped demon who wears a top hat. He ripped the teeth out of a deer and created a disembodied head that constantly screams.”
Moonlight blinked. “Why…?”
“Because he could. Plus, he likes randomly freaking people out.”
“Okay, bring it on… Wait, is there romance?”
“The twins are hormonal preteens spending the summer away from home and surrounded by all kinds of crazy characters. I’m pretty sure crushes are unavoidable.”
Moonlight snorted. “Very well, continue.”
So, Thomas recounted one of his favorite cartoons from the early 2010s. He wasn’t under the memory spell, but he’d watched and re-watched the episodes enough to recall the important parts. The intro went relatively standard. “‘Yes, definitely, absolutely?’ The boy looks around, real confused about what this is. Meanwhile, Mabel’s watching from behind the counter, I think. She says, ‘I rigged it,’ and seems pretty proud of herself, too.”
“I like her. I’d have probably checked yes if she’d given me a note at that age.”
“But this is anonymous. He’s got no idea where the note came from.”
Moonlight pouted. “So he refuses? That’s so sad.”
“Not really. That’s when her brother says that she’s going through a boy-crazy phase, but she’s overdoing it on the crazy part.”
Moonlight scoffed. “What does he know? She’s a filly in love. She can’t help what her heart yearns for. He’d know that if he just tried to see the bright side of things like her.”
“Don’t worry. We’re getting there. Anyway, you’re right that she’s keeping positive. She says that this is their chance to have an epic summer romance. But Dipper is annoyed that she flirts with every guy she meets. Then there’s this montage of her being awkward and a little aggressive with a bunch of guys. She tries flirting, but pushes the guy too hard and awkwardly laughs. Next, she tried bonding over a fake shared love of turtles. That went about as well as expected. And then she stalked this one teen trying to sell mattresses and freaked him out when she said, ‘Take me with you.’ The guy ran away.”
Moonlight puttered her lips. “Colts at that age are so silly. What she ought to do is find another filly. They can practice being less awkward together. Plus, colts are more likely to say yes if multiple fillies ask. A filly asking on her own is brave, but groups are more appealing. Even at that age, when lots of foals aren’t too sure if they even like romance yet, a partially-formed herd is still attractive.”
Thomas paused to consider her idea. “Ya know, I’ve been thinking about that.”
“About what?”
“The harem likes these stories, so maybe other ponies would, too. But when humans tried to send stuff like this to other countries, there can sometimes be censorship issues. Something might happen in the story that is deemed inappropriate in certain countries, or maybe the broadcasters think their audience won’t understand, so they make edits to localize it. There’s no footage of these shows, except for what’s in my head. If I said that this world follows Equestrian norms instead of human ones, no one could argue. Would that change make it more acceptable for local audiences, or would it spoil what made the original great? Cuz sometimes, some ideas really are so alien that audiences just don’t get it.”
“Even between humans?”
“Sometimes. Like, I heard about this one case where a woman tried to tell the story of Hamlet to some African tribesmen. The woman considered Hamlet a universal classic, but the tribesmen just didn’t get it. When Hamlet gets upset that his uncle married his mother after his dad died, the tribesmen were confused because that’s the moral thing to do in their culture. Stuff like that happened throughout the telling. Basically, cultural boundaries are a bitch to navigate.”
Moonlight lightly chuckled and once more nuzzled under Thomas’ chin. “What do you think would be best?”
“Honestly, I have no idea. Both ways have merits and risks. How about we finish this episode and see what we think is best?”
“Yes, that! Mabel was just telling about her last few failed attempts, but she’s not discouraged, right?”
“Nope. She’s pretty hard to keep down.” Thomas grinned. “In fact, she’s so confident that she declares that the next guy to come through a door could be the man of her dreams.”
Moonlight’s enthusiasm fell. “This is a setup, isn’t it?”
Thomas nodded. “Grunkle Stan comes in with gross stubble and clenching his stomach from some painful indigestion. Mabel goes, ‘Oh, why?’ and Dipper’s laughing his butt off.”
Moonlight snickered. “Okay, that was a good setup.”
“You’re learning,” Thomas remarked. “Anyway, that’s when Stan asks someone to go hang up signs in the spooky part of the forest.”
“He actually calls it that?”
“He does. There’s a lot of humor like that in this story. Anyway, this is when we get introduced to the rest of the staff at the Mystery Shack. There’s Soos. He’s a handyman, kinda shaped like a pear, late twenties to early thirties, and he’s got beaver teeth. He’s not the smartest, but he’s reliable and fun to hang out with. Then there’s Wendy. She’s a ginger with long red hair, and her first appearance is a slacker teen as she’s reclining with her boots on the counter as she’s reading a magazine. She can’t even be bothered to move from that spot to reach something on the counter.”
Moonlight huffed. “I don’t like her. Soos sounds nice, but you make Wendy sound like somebody,” she forced herself to say, “who needs a good kick in the rear to straighten up.”
“You could certainly make that argument,” Thomas allowed. “But everybody gets some character development, so we’ll see how you feel in a few episodes. Anyway, Stan says that he’d fire them all if he could, but gives the job to Dipper. He’s reluctant because he feels like he’s being watched in those woods, but Stan is dismissive. He says that local legends about monsters are made up by guys like him to sell stuff to guys like that. And he points at an idiot who’s playing with a bobblehead and having far more fun than anyone ought to.”
Moonlight giggled.
“So, Dipper does as he’s told and starts nailing signs to random trees. He’s grumbling that no one believes him and is pretty much resigned to a boring summer. Oh, and the atmosphere has gotten super ominous. The sky’s cloudy, and an eerie wind is blowing. It’s the perfect time for something spooky.” Thomas reveled in Moonlight’s hypnotized gaze. Whether it was the stories or how he told them, these mares really got a kick out of listening to him.
“Dipper’s getting ready to put another nail in, except he hears a metallic clang. Curious, he taps the tree with a hammer. Turns out it’s fake. The inside is hollow, with some old-timey machine. We’re talking, like, forty years old and covered in dust. He starts fiddling with it, and a trapdoor opens behind him. Inside is a book caked in dust. The cover has a six-fingered hand with the number three. Dipper starts reading. The author’s name has been ripped out, but this was one of his journals he used to catalog the strangeness in and around this town. He flips through several pages to see all kinds of strange things, and then arrives on a spooky message. The author writes that he’s being watched, that he needs to hide this book before he finds it, and then in big, bold writing says ‘TRUST NO ONE.’ Cue ominous music, followed immediately by Mabel popping up and shouting ‘Hello!’”
Moonlight giggled. “She’s definitely my favorite.”
“She’s most people’s favorite. In fact, I think I heard that the creator almost didn’t make the show if he couldn’t get Mabel’s voice actor onboard.”
“Well, that settles one thing. You’re showing me this story the next time we dream with Luna,” Moonlight avowed.
Thomas went on to describe the rest of the episode. Mabel’s new boyfriend, Dipper’s paranoid suspicions, Dipper’s justified suspicions, the big reveal of the gnomes, the climactic chase, and the final mystery at the end. Moonlight remained enthralled and kept her commentary to a minimum throughout most of the remaining telling, but her relative silence ended after the vending machine.
“Wow, I have so many questions. Who wrote the journals? Who was he running from? It is a he, isn’t it? And what’s Stan up to? Wait, machines…” She trailed off in thought. “The journal was hidden behind a machine, and now Stan is doing something behind a machine. Are they connected?”
Thomas chuckled. “In order. Not revealed for another thirty episodes, not revealed for another twenty episodes, yes, he’s a guy, and there’s definitely a connection. Remember what I said about fans being super analytical? Well, that was part of the fun for the show’s original run. These little clues are planted all over the place. It’s very blink-and-you-miss-it. Every episode ends with a backward message and a brief flash of a symbol with all sorts of odd yet familiar shapes along the outer ring, like a pine tree and a shooting star.” Thomas motioned for Moonlight to think about it.
“Oh, Dipper’s hat and Mabel’s sweater! What are the other shapes?”
“I guess you’re right,” Thomas chuckled. Then, at Moonlight’s confusion, he elaborated, “I’m terrible at calming mares down.”
Moonlight’s pout returned with a vengeance. “Okay, so calming might not be the best word. At least, you’re distracting… Wait, no, that sounds rude.”
“Maybe you’re just very distractible,” Thomas offered, earning a tail whip to the hip. “Ow!”
“Serves you right for toying with a vulnerable mare’s feelings.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, take this!” Thomas stabbed his fingers beneath Moonlight’s armpits and mercilessly tickled the so-called vulnerable mare. They thrashed around atop the mattress, entangling with the sheets and repeatedly tripping over each other. The battle was brutal and harrowing. Moonlight initially had the advantage from her lower position, but Thomas was a slippery one and used the blankets to entrap her hands, blocking her attacks while hampering her defense. Their war went on for ages, so long that both sides forgot why they’d started fighting in the first place. Then, maybe five minutes later, Moonlight’s stomach growled.
She blushed. “Oops, I guess I worked up an appetite.”
“Yeah, I could eat,” Thomas allowed. “Oatmeal?”
“We already had breakfast.”
“Right, that’s a good argument. Um… pancakes?”
Moonlight giggled and, with a bit of help from Thomas to disentangle herself, kissed the corner of his lips. “Don’t ever change.”
“I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I’ve been changing non-stop since I got to this wacky place.”
Moonlight frowned and blew in his face. “Even when you’re being an ass, you’re still cute. At least keep that part.”
Even a homebody like Thomas needed to stretch his legs now and then. Moonlight had recovered enough that she could move around without raising her tail, but still had another day of leave before she had to go back to work. As such, she walked beside Thomas without her armor through the castle halls, naked as the day she was born, and with Jet following close behind. “What?” she asked after catching her mate staring.
Thomas lightly chuckled. “Nothing, just thinking that I’m about totally numb to naked ponies. Like, take that guy there,” he indicated a stallion with a buff physique, possibly military, but utterly nude. His hurried jogging caused his junk to bounce. “Before, I’d have cringed and looked away at something like that. Now, I hardly feel anything.”
Moonlight smiled with a hint of skepticism. “That’s good, isn’t it? It means you’re acclimating to your new environment.” Then she thought more about his words and looked down at herself. “Wait, so you feel nothing?” she asked while gesturing at her breasts.
Thomas ponderously pursed his lips as he stared at the orange mare’s fun bags. “Boobs alone aren’t enough to turn me on. That’s more a situational thing. Now, I’ve got more of an artistic appreciation for a lady’s hot titties, rather than just raw lust.”
Moonlight narrowed her eyes on her mate. “I swear it’s hard to tell sometimes if you’re deliberately messing with me, or if there’s still a culture gap to fill in.”
“Eh, a little of column A, a little of column B. I kinda like it. It keeps things mysterious and exciting. Ya never know what that wacky human will do next.”
Moonlight’s expression softened as she clasped her hand around his. “Well, at least you’re in a particularly good mood. I’m fine with that part not being a mystery.”
“Yeah, I guess I am,” Thomas thoughtfully agreed. “Maybe nonstop sex has a prolonged afterglow.” Then, looking around, he added, “Your heat came early, right?”
Moonlight nodded.
“So, the castle is gonna be on a skeleton crew for a few extra days, right?”
“Yes, mares and their stallions have medical leave during heat, so most of Equestria looks like this at the moment.” Moonlight gestured ahead. Usually, there’d be at least a dozen servants tidying things up, primarily mares. Instead, there were only two stallions dressed as butlers without pants. “Why, are you going to take advantage of things?”
“Like how? I’m not much of a prankster, and there’s still enough security to ward off potential ne’er-do-wells.” Thomas gestured at the bat mare trailing silently behind them.
“Okay, fair enough. But, for the sake of argument, what if there wasn’t any security?” Moonlight asked with a hint of youthful rambunctiousness.
“Hmm, whenever I used to go grocery shopping, I’d fantasize about jumping on the produce section and take bites out of everything just to see how I felt about it.”
Moonlight scoffed. “Foal’s play. You can do better.”
“Alright, let’s see here,” Thomas said as his expression grew thoughtful. “Whenever I used to drive around, I’d always see these interesting places off to the side. I’d think, ‘Wow, wouldn’t it be fun to explore that?’ You know, like when you’re a little kid, and everything’s an adventure. You might see trees that look slightly different from regular trees, and it just makes ya wanna go and play. Of course, when you’re a grownup, there’s a bunch of reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t. But if I could… Yeah, I think I’d wanna climb a tree or play in a ravine again.”
Moonlight wistfully sighed. “That sounds like it could be fun.” She imagined Thomas and herself, but much younger and cuter, playing in a park or something. The mental image was delightfully relaxing.
“Well, what about you?” Thomas asked. “What would you do if you were the only one around and had the freedom to do whatever you wanted?”
“Well, assuming I didn’t go into a panic and just surrendered to the madness of the moment, I think I’d…” Moonlight trailed off and averted her gaze with a blush. “Never mind.”
Thomas leaned over to catch Moonlight’s eye. When she evaded, he kept following until he started walking in front of her. “What? Tell me.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“Okay, now I have to know what ponies consider embarrassing.”
“You don’t have to. You want to. That’s totally different,” Moonlight argued. No matter what he said, she was not about to confess her secret fantasy to wear lingerie in public.
“Hmm, nah, I don’t think so. Tell me.”
“Nope.”
“Please.”
“Not when others are listening,” Moonlight whined, still suffering some hormonal instability.
Thomas nodded. “Alright, then let’s change it up. What if time stopped for everyone but you? You could still move people without harming them. You could also restart time whenever you wanted, and so long as you cleaned up everything, no one would notice. What would you do then?”
“You first.”
“Well, if I’m being honest, I guess I’d—”
“Yu-hu, hello,” called a feminine voice. The pair looked behind Jet to find a richly dressed mare approaching. She was a unicorn with soft yellow fur and a three-toned red mane. Her dress was strikingly red with cuts high in the hips to show off cutie marks that resembled half-full wine glasses. Her mane was done up similar to Rarity’s, and her lipstick was as vibrantly red as her dress. “Yes, might I have a moment of your time?”
“Uh, sure, I guess,” Thomas allowed, not sure which of them she was talking to. He watched Moonlight position herself a half-step ahead of him without blocking the way. Jet also cleared the way by stepping off to the side, but stayed in range to intervene if needed. Thomas wondered how much of Moonlight’s actions were because of her guard training, and how much was cultural conditioning for mares to protect stallions.
The yellow mare in the red dress stopped at what seemed to be a respectful distance and smiled at all but Jet. “Forgive me for the silly question, but I feel the need to ask. You are Thomas the human, yes?”
“I am,” Thomas affirmed with a nod as he looked the mare over. His inner skeptic told him that this was a brown-nosing noble trying to get something out of him, but he tried not to let his bias show. “And this is Moonlight Shield, my…” He hesitated. What was their relationship called again?
“I’m his mare,” Moonlight politely finished. “And you are?”
“Ah, splendid. And, of course, my name is Fine Vintage. I’m here on behalf of the Lunar Restoration Committee to issue formal requests to interview Luna’s concubines.”
“Okay…” Thomas allowed, not expecting this.
“Since the return of our beloved Princess, and the rise of Canterlot’s nightlife, there’s been a surge in interest regarding Luna’s history,” Vintage explained. “You see, following Nightmare Moon’s banishment, there was a rather shameful suppression of knowledge regarding the Princess. At the time, the official rationale was that such knowledge was too painful for Princess Celestia. But if you ask me, certain short-sighted and power-hungry ponies were trying to punish Princess Luna’s followers by erasing her from the records. Luckily, the fools at least had the sense to merely lock such records away, rather than destroy them, at least, for the most part. But, oh, listen to me ramble,” she tittered. “The point is that there is woefully little information regarding either Princesses’ concubines. Apart from their names, we know next to nothing about them. So while my colleagues search through dusty vaults to rectify this issue, I thought I’d bring a taste of more current history by interviewing Luna’s current concubines. That’s why it is convenient for you to be here as well, Moonlight Shield. I just need, say, an hour from each of you to learn a little about you both.”
Thomas slightly raised his hand. “Uh, sorry if you said this already, but why do you want to interview us?”
“Oh, did I not say?” Vintage asked as she mentally reviewed their conversation. “Hmm, silly me. Well, my colleagues in the LRC are putting together an exhibit for The Museum of the Royal Sisters to shine the light on Equestria’s unsung civil servants. Your contributions would help immensely.”
Thomas exchanged a look with Moonlight, confirming that she was just as skeptical, and turned back to Vintage. “Sorry, but I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
“Harem matters are private,” Moonlight answered. “The whole point of the position is to afford the Princesses privacy to relax and be themselves. Even alicorns still need time to be mares.”
“Oh, I fear that you may have misunderstood. This exhibit is about you, not her. Who is Moonlight Shield, what kind of pony is she, what brought her to the harem, and so on.” Vintage’s gaze flipped to Thomas, and the corners of her mouth climbed just a tad. “Ponies are especially interested to learn about Luna’s most exotic lover.”
Thomas pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah, I’m not so sure that’s gonna happen.”
Vintage blinked. “I beg your pardon.”
“As Moonlight said, the whole point of the harem is privacy, and Luna’s not the only one who wants that. I’m also not a fan of putting my name in the papers.”
“I again apologize for the misunderstanding, but this isn’t an article in a paper. It’s an exhibit in a museum.”
Thomas shrugged. “Sorry, but it feels like you’re splitting hairs. Your job might be different, but you’re asking the same questions, and I’m not comfortable answering them for both Luna’s sake and mine.”
“Same,” Moonlight added. “I’m not sure how appropriate it is to put my name in a museum before I’ve done anything worthwhile. Plus, I’m with Thomas on keeping my private life private. I’d prefer it if reporters didn’t harass my family or me over something that’s no pony’s business but mine.”
“Also, are you even allowed to ask about this?” Thomas looked between Vintage and Moonlight. “I could’ve sworn reporters weren’t allowed to ask about harem business.”
“I am not a reporter,” Vintage cut in, sounding slightly flustered. She pulled out a fan to cool herself. “Sorry, but I fear that I’m not properly conveying my goals. I wish to spread awareness of Luna’s lost history.”
“And that’s very noble,” Moonlight replied. “However, I think you’d need Luna’s permission to pry into the lives of her old concubines. As for us, you can ask, but I doubt the others would say any different.”
“Maybe Surprise,” Thomas allowed. “That mare loves to talk, so you might learn something about her, but I’m with Moonlight. The rest of us kinda like keeping a low profile.”
“Even you, Senior Concubine Thomas?” Vintage pressed, sounding increasingly desperate. “Surely there’s something to say about your unique perspective on Equestria as a whole, and your position in the harem in particular.”
“Yeah, this is really starting to sound like pushy journalism,” Thomas observed.
“The Lunar Restoration Committee,” Jet ponderously interjected. “Sorry for speaking out of turn, but—”
“Then don’t,” Vintage sharply cut her off. “Know your place.”
“Have something to say?” Thomas asked, looking at Jet.
“Sir, only that I have my ear to the ground for these sorts of things,” Jet calmly informed. “I’m aware of several organizations with similar missions, but the LRC doesn’t ring any bells. If it’s new, adding an exhibit to a museum seems a little too ambitious.”
Vintage pursed her lips and fanned herself harder. “Well, yes. We are quite ambitious. Our love for Luna burns brightly, and we have an idea to share that light with all of Equestria.”
Frowning, Thomas looked up at Moonlight. “My BS meter is going off. How about yours?”
Moonlight chuckled deviously at the alien phrase. It filled her with pride to see the confused expression on the others. It filled her with pride to think she was part of an exclusive club that knew these human phrases. “Most certainly.”
“Begging your pardon, but what is a BS meter?” Vintage asked.
Moonlight smiled sweetly. “It means that you’ve asked us a favor, and we already refused. Was there anything else?”
Vintage stammered for a second before finding her words. “B-but this is to help Luna’s public image.”
Still in high spirits, Thomas dared to be snippy. “You make a good point. Jet, quick question. This lady told you to know your place. What’ll happen if I gave permission to do whatever you wanted?”
Vintage audibly swallowed while Jet remained stone-faced. “Nothing as spectacular as you might imagine, Sir. I’d simply do my duty and ward off all unwanted pests.” She stepped forward and turned to face Vintage, her stern glower looking quite imposing despite her small size. “I’m sorry, milady, but do you have an appointment?”
“Whah… buh… I-I wasn’t aware that I needed one,” Vintage stammered, seemingly at her wit’s end.
“The Lunar Restoration Committee,” Moonlight stated. “I think I’ll ask the Lieutenant to send an investigation to make sure you’re not up to anything sketchy.” It was hard for Moonlight not to smirk at Vintage’s petrified reaction. Among Canterlot nobility, reputation was everything. Even if nothing was found, an investigation brought on behalf of anypony close to the Princesses could be utterly damning to one’s social status. It was the unwritten cardinal rule of high society never to cross the Princesses. That’s why, even ignoring Thomas’ guards, so few ponies dared to approach him with any kind of agenda.
“Are we done yet?” Thomas asked in annoyance, no longer seeing the point in maintaining manners.
“Are we, milady?” Jet asked.
“I… yes, we’re done,” Vintage finally conceded, turned, and left down the way she came. The others resumed their course once she was far enough away.
“Even if it was true, a museum exhibit about the concubines seems like something doomed from the start,” Thomas thought aloud.
“Probably,” agreed Moonlight with an amused grin. “The whole institution is about as clandestine as a spy agency. Of course, there wasn’t exactly a contract, but I’m pretty sure discussing the harem with outsiders is grounds for termination, you know, except for our families.”
“Yeah, this job is too good. I ain’t risking it, especially not on someone so sketchy.” Thomas looked over his shoulder, but the yellow mare had already disappeared. “What could she have wanted, anyway?”
“Were you asking me?” Jet inquired.
“Sure, what do you think?”
“A logical goal would be to acquire more information about you, Sir Thomas. She could have been a journalist trying to run a story, and the LRC was merely a cover. In which case, it was smart of her to ask for Moonlight as well, but she was still too ambitious for approaching either of you before her organization was properly established. Surely, she must have known there’d be background checks before any such interview.”
“So, a naïve newbie who’s still learning the game?” Moonlight considered.
“Possible, although I still recommend you go through with requesting an investigation.”
“Agreed, and thanks for your help back there,” Moonlight said with an approving nod. “That was good work, soldier.”
“Thank you, ma’am, but that was the bare minimum for this assignment,” Jet humbly replied.
“Also, that thing I said about knowing your place,” Thomas added. “That still holds. I don’t like people talking down to others like that. So if it happens again, if someone’s disrespectful, it’s probably safe to assume I don’t want to hear what they have to say.”
Jet blinked. “That is… a kind offer. However, it would not be appropriate of me to make such assumptions on your behalf.”
“Then don’t assume. Read the room,” Moonlight countered. “Your charge just gave you criteria for interactions he’d rather avoid. That makes it your duty to keep an eye out for such annoyances.”
Thomas nodded. “Right, and I’m annoyed when strangers act all high and mighty and disrespect my… Well, I’m not sure if we’re friends, but we fought a slime monster together. So I don’t think you should let others talk to you like that.”
Jet gave a small, almost imperceptible nod. “I will take that under advisement. Thank you for your consideration, Sir.” Despite her calm expression, inside, she was fuming. She could almost feel Firestorm’s I-told-you-so expression. Compared to seeing it, she weighed her options, and concluded that running off to kick that pompous mare’s skinny rump to get herself locked up was not worth it, if only barely. More frustrating was how the human had a point. When the Smooze attacked, he’d had plenty of chances to flee for safety, yet he stayed with them and did his part. His naiveté almost made things worse by bringing up the monster’s song, but he only did so to help buy time. All things considered, Thomas had done his best to not only save them, but everypony in the stadium. At the very least, that feat deserved acknowledgment.
“So, what would you do?”
Thomas’ words broke Jet from her reverie. “Pardon?”
“If everyone disappeared, or time stopped, or whatever happened so that you could do whatever you wanted,” Thomas clarified. “What would you do?” he asked while motioning them to continue.
Initially, Jet wondered if Thomas was setting her up by fishing for blackmail material. However, after all the hours she’d poured over watching and listening to him, she felt that she’d notice if he were that nefarious or clever. He might just be profoundly good at hiding it. Then again, if he was, there wasn’t much she could do to stop him at the moment, so she might as well indulge his whims. “I suppose I like your idea of playing in trees and ravines. When I was young, my friends and I liked perching in trees; the taller, the better.”
“Do bat ponies make nests?” Moonlight asked. “I know pegasi do, but what about bat ponies?”
“Yes, but the instinct isn’t as strong. We’re more likely to wake up hanging upside-down from the ceiling,” Jet informed.
“Wait, how?” Thomas asked, gesturing incredulously at the mare’s hooves. “Regular bats have claws, but how are those”—she pointed to Jet’s hooves—“supposed to hold onto anything?”
Jet allowed herself a slightly impish smile as she looked around. Then, satisfied that the coast was clear, she walked to a nearby wall. Double-checking that no one was looking, she pressed her left hoof to the wall, leaned back until she was perfectly horizontal, and added her other hoof to the first.
Thomas’ jaw almost hit the floor as he stared. Jet’s wings didn’t flap, but it looked like her legs quaked from slight strain. Even so, it was a pretty spectacular feat. Moonlight was just as awed by the display, much to Jet’s satisfaction.
“It is a form of passive magic,” the bat mare explained. “Similar to how earth ponies can accelerate or augment plant growth, bat ponies can adhere our hooves to almost any surface. As a result, we can sleep upside-down, carry considerable weights without using our hands or ropes, and our foals frequently break bones when they try dancing on the walls.”
Thomas snorted a laugh, grateful to see this chiller side to the uptight mare.
“Okay, I get all that, but how are you standing like that?” Moonlight asked while waving her hand horizontally.
“This?” Jet indicated her knees before hopping down and upright. “I never miss leg day.”
Once he stopped blinking, Thomas asked, “Am I the only one who wants to see her leg wrestle Honey? That seems like it’d be an even match.”
“With all due respect, Sir, my legs can lift my weight laden in armor for a little over a minute. On the other hand, Lady Honey’s legs spend all waking hours lifting her weight, which I assume to be at least four to six times greater than mine.”
Thomas nodded. “You make a good point, but I still wanna see it.”
“Maybe Surprise’s wings against Jet’s legs,” proposed Moonlight. “Both are abnormally strong to hold weights they realistically shouldn’t. Plus, one is part of the reserves, while the other is active military, so that seems more comparable.”
“Well?” Thomas asked, looking squarely at Jet.
The bat mare frowned. “That would not be appropriate.”
“What if it happens behind closed doors where your superiors aren’t allowed to pry?” countered Thomas.
“I do not think the location would make it any less of a dereliction of duty,” Jet firmly stated.
“Actually, when I started following Thomas into Luna’s chambers, I asked Lt. Iron about this exact issue,” informed Moonlight. “He said that whatever happens in the Princesses’ private chambers is none of his business. He won’t ask if I won’t tell.”
“Huh, I guess every army has a policy like that,” Thomas remarked.
Again, Jet was plagued by Firestorm’s imaginary laughter. For all she knew, he’d stepped away for a bathroom break and hadn’t heard any of this yet. However, the moment he went back to review the records… Just the thought of that smug, self-righteous smirk made her skin itch. No doubt, he’d encourage her to go along with these whorses’ plan. ‘It’d be good for the mission to win their trust,’ he’d say. What was more infuriating was her inability to think up a decent counter-argument. Getting buddy-buddy with the human and convincing him to lower his guard could enable her to learn more about the human world. Aside from maintaining objectivity, the only other reason to keep her distance was personal preference, which her superiors would frown upon.
Finally, Jet gave a relenting sigh. “If that is what you wish, Sir.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” assured Thomas. “The one plus side of low self-esteem is that I’m a pretty humble guy,” he low-key bragged. “I’m not a fan of having servants. Instead, I’d rather think of you as a work colleague, like, from a different department or something. We’re here to do our jobs, and if your job is to follow me while I’m goofing off, then you might as well get some of the benefits from that, too.”
Jet nodded. “A generous offer, Sir. However, if I follow your reasoning, I think I would like to call a rain check on that invitation.”
“That’s fine,” Thomas allowed. “On the condition that you have to put up with us pestering you with more questions in the future.”
“Invasive and personal questions,” Moonlight amended with a friendly smirk.
Jet slightly tilted her head to the side, managing to look surprisingly adorable. “I thought that was a given.”
Surprise had found herself in a very particular sort of mood. She was restless, and her wings kept fidgeting something awful. However, she’d been mindful of doing plenty of flying of late, so it wasn’t a need to migrate. The mystery of her condition revealed itself one day when she was doing a late grocery run. As a harem staff member, she had free reign of the free cafeteria food, but she still liked to do her own cooking now and then.
At the time, she was perusing the isles for the best kinds of eggs for a cake. Chicken seemed too generic, gracklepus was out of her price range, she’d never cared for any of the fish varieties, and there was something about goose eggs that left her feeling suspicious, like eyes were watching her from places unseen. But, wait… that wasn’t the goose eggs. That was something totally independent from eggs of any sort!
“Raaawr!”
“Whaaaa!” screamed the shrill unicorn up ahead. She’d reached for a carton of eggs, only for the thing to transform into a miniature manticore. It roared like a big dog, and she fell back, landing her rump on the unforgivingly hard and cool tile floor.
That’s when another unicorn came out from the end of the aisle, laughing his ass off as the manticore ceased its animation and returned to being an ordinary figurine. As soon as the first unicorn collected herself, her fear morphed into anger as she realized what had happened and charged after the second. He kept on laughing even as he was chased out of the aisle.
Upon seeing this prank, a dim magical bulb just over the mare’s head lit up to full brightness.
“I know what I’m doing tonight,” she declared in a singsong voice.
**********
The following night at the castle, Surprise waited giddily in Luna’s chambers. She’d conspired with the mare in question to help arrange things, to which Luna was just as eager. They’d arranged for only Surprise to have bed warmer duty, but the others were still expected to arrive later for their usual routines.
“We cannot wait,” Luna whisper giggled. She sat on her bed beside Surprise, fully nude, and was bouncing her hooves in anxious anticipation. “This shall be such fun!”
“Shush-sh.” Surprise reached up to manually clamp Luna’s lips closed, rubbing her tremendous breasts against the larger mare’s even larger bosoms, and giggling even more frantically as her efforts were met with resistance. “Quiet. W-we can’t give it away,” she tittered.
“Shush yourself.” Luna’s counter was followed up with a playful pinch to her companion’s white buttocks, which just made her yelp and jump up for a full glomp. “Our bad,” Luna conceded, still cracking up.
Finally, a knock came on the door, and both mares calmed down immediately. The pair sat at the edge of the bed like perfectly well-behaved not-so-little angels. They might as well have been whistling for how suspicious they looked.
“Come in,” Luna invited, throwing up a glamour to stop herself and her white lover from giving things away too early.
The door opened outward, and Thomas entered first, as expected.
“Morning,” he greeted casually, walking in as he’d done a hundred times before.
“Indeed it is, affirmed Luna behind her stoic façade. Her eyes darted to the first mare to come in. It was the orange one.
“Good mo-mmmh!” gasped Moonlight, her airway unexpectedly blocked. Reflexively her hands batted at the unseen obstruction, finding resistance. She ducked and rolled back, horn lit and ready for action, but still, she could see nothing.
“Bwahahaha!” Luna and Surprise finally cracked. To Thomas’ ongoing confusion, the pair laughed uproariously and threw themselves onto one another.
“What’s goin’ on here?” Honey asked, concluding an exceptionally long yawn as she entered the doorway. There was a brief resistance, a pressure against her chest that dared halt her advance. Said resistance lasted but a second before a tear was heard. The spell broke, and the now-torn sheets of transparent paper fell to the floor. “Wait… wha?”
Surprise found this especially funny. “You see the look on her face?” she wheezed. “Didn’t even faze her!”
“Somethin’ Ah’m missin’ here?”
“Hold on.” Stepping back in curiosity after Moonlight’s strange reaction, Silver knelt and investigated the culprit. “Transparent paper?”
“Wait, seriously?” Moonlight demanded indignantly. “Who put transparent paper in the bucking doorway?”
“Well, gee, I wonder,” Thomas remarked, folding his arms and rolling his head to face the mares on the bed. “There are just sooo many suspects to consider.”
“She did it!” Surprise furiously pointed at Luna.
“What? Me?”
“Yeah, you. I saw her do it, guys. It was totally all her.”
“Traitor! Thou weret the one to suggest it.”
“Yeah, and I woulda done it, too, if it weren’t for you begging like a foal.”
“We… wha…” Luna turned away in a huff. “A Princess does not beg!”
Surprise interlocked her fingers in a begging motion and deepened her voice to imitate the alicorn’s. “Please-please-please-pleeease! We’ll give thee whatever thee wants. Just let us play.”
“Thou,” Luna corrected. “We’ll give thee whatever thou wants. If you are going to make false accusations against us, you should at least do so with proper grammar.”
Thomas, meanwhile, had buried his face in one hand as he chuckled quietly. “I don’t know which is funnier. The prank or you two.”
“If I might, I would say it was the prank,” Jet added quietly. “A royal guard being bested by invisible paper is a joke for the ages.” Looking at Moonlight, her face was expressionless, yet her smirk was almost tangible.
Huffing in annoyance, Moonlight stomped into the room and closed the door behind her, leaving the bat guard outside.
“Hey, don’t be like that,” pleaded Surprise. “It was just a harmless prank.”
“I know,” Moonlight affirmed with steadying breaths. “And it was funny. It’s just that Jet still has a way of getting under my skin.”
“And here I thought that was my job,” Thomas remarked, unable to resist the low-hanging fruit. When all he got for his bad joke was a roll of the eyes, he came up to Moonlight’s side and leaned against her.
Moonlight tried looking away. “You can’t solve all your problems just by hugging, you know.”
“Blasphemy!” Surprise accused with righteous fury. “Even if a hug isn’t the final step, it’s always a good first.”
“She ain’t wrong,” agreed Honey.
“But clearly, we can’t let this transgression against”—Silver trailed off while trying to sound cool—“this transgression go unpunished. Moonlight must be punished for her lack of faith in the magic of hugs.”
Hopping off the bed, Surprise pointed even more energetically. “Yes, smite her. Smite her with the power of love!”
That’s when Luna caught sight of some low-hanging fruit and pulled a reference from Thomas’ memories. She stood up and went through the motions from Sailor Moon. “In the name of the moon, I shall punish you!”
Moonlight blinked like a deer caught in the headlights. She was surrounded by her closest friends, all of whom had decided to gang up on her just for being a grumpy prank victim. Thinking on what it would mean to be punished for questioning love, she looked down at her stallion. “Am I expected to fight back right now? Because I’m not sure I want to.”
“Win, and I shall let you play with my smaller form,” Luna bargained.
“You’ll never take me alive!” Moonlight grabbed Thomas in her magic, facing him away and holding him aloft like a shield. “Stay back, you fiends! I’m armed with a cute stallion, and I… have no idea what to say next.”
“Just run!” Silver cried.
“Gah! Get ‘er off me!”
Moonlight turned to see Silver having wrapped herself over Honey like a face-hugger.
“Run, you fool! I can only hold her off for so long,” Silver urged as the far larger and stronger mare attempted to pry her off.
“Silver, you traitor,” Surprise growled. “How dare you turn your back on the magic of love?”
“I’m sorry, my friend, but it must be done,” Silver replied with commendable seriousness, even as she was being groped. “But for the love of cute, I have made my choice.” Then she turned to Moonlight. “Do not let my sacrifice be in vain!”
“Do not overestimate your position, Private,” Luna snarled as she and Surprise closed the distance, stalking like predators ready to pounce. “You may have a convert, but you are still outnumbered.”
Surprise rubbed her hands together, cackling like a mad mare. “Hehe, yeah. You’re gonna get it good.”
“Hah! Clearly, it is you that has overestimated themselves. In case you didn’t notice, I still have an ally.” She gestured to her human shield. “That makes us evenly matched.”
“Actually, I think I’m gonna have to side with… What’s your side called, again?” Thomas asked the big mares in front of him.
“Team Love!” Surprise cheered before anyone else.
“Can we not go with Luna’s Love?” the Princess requested gently.
“Nuh-uh.”
“Then that makes us Team Cute,” declared Silver, still hugging the earth mare’s face. Efforts to extract her had changed as the big mare grew more relaxed. Now green fingers were casually navigating the smaller mare’s sensitive spots, trying to lewdly coax her off rather than using force. Particular interest was shown to the silver mare’s silver bottom. And when Silver looked down, she was met with sadistic eyes and a sadistic grin as Honey licked her lips in preparation for her next attack. “Do your worst!” she fearlessly declared, voice thick with anticipation.
“Okay, fine. We’re Team Cute,” agreed Moonlight. “We’re still even, though.”
“Actually, like I was saying, I’m gonna have to side with Team Love on this one,” Thomas explained as his limbs limply flopped around in Moonlight’s magic.
“What? Now you’re a traitor, too?” gasped the shocked unicorn.
Honey then grabbed Silver’s side and effortlessly shifted her to the left to free her mouth. Then, looking at Luna, she said, “Seriously, filly. Ya’ll need ta find better company. Ah wouldn’t trust any ‘f these ponies further ‘an Ah could throw ‘em.”
“That means basically nothing coming from you, tree kicker,” Surprise pointed out.
“Whatever.” Honey moved Silver back into place, only now pressing a hand to her back to keep the moaning bat from escaping as the earth mare relentlessly used her tongue.
“Point is,” Thomas interjected, “I’m going with the side that’s mandating hugs.” He looked over his shoulder at his mare. “Sorry, babe, but this is happening.”
Moonlight fought to maintain a look of utter outrage, even as she felt her cheeks heat up. “So that’s how it’s going to be. You betray me, just for the chance to selfishly hug me into submission. Is that really all our love is worth to you?” she demanded, trying not to let the corners of her mouth curl up.
Thomas tried to look thoughtful, but only succeeded in making a duck face. “Hmm, yeah, pretty much,” he said so matter-of-factly that even Luna was impressed. “Well, what are you waiting for?” he asked of the pranksters. “Geet ‘er doooone!”
Deciding that her human shield was useless for defense, Moonlight switched to offense as she magically slammed the little guy into Luna’s chest. The impact made a literal *Pomph* sound as the alicorn reflexively wrapped around the object that would dare strike her royal teats. Her grip lasted but a second before he was wrenched free and returned to his wielder’s side.
Now it was Thomas’ turn to blink like a deer in headlights as he floated by Moonlight’s side. “D-did you just use my body to slap someone in the tit?”
“And what if I did?” challenged Moonlight.
Seeing Luna rub where his body had impacted, Thomas could think of only one thing to say. “I’m starting to lean more towards Team Cute.”
“Darn it, Luna! Your perfect teats are converting our forces to the other side,” chided Surprise.
Luna stared down at her massive mounds, utterly flummoxed by this development. “Th-this has never happened before. Mine perfect teats are meant to draw others close, not drive them away. Something must be wrong.”
“Maybe they’re broken,” offered Surprise. Trying to be helpful, she came up to Luna’s side and began poking both breasts in random spots. Spots closer to the nipple elicited the strongest reactions, but Surprise seemed oblivious to this well-established fact. “Yeah, there’s definitely something wrong here. When’s the last time you got maintenance on these puppies?”
“I volunteer!” Silver waved her arms wildly. Her wings sprung out, and she attempted to change dance partners, but it was not to be.
“Oh, no, ya don’t.” Honey held Silver fast. Now leaning against the wall like she was destressing with a drink, one hand teased at the base of the bat’s wings to keep her from fleeing, though definitely not still. The fingers of her other hand found their way into Silver’s crack and just went to town. All the while, Honey’s unseen mouth was allowed to commit unspeakable acts against every inch of flesh within her reach.
“You know, back when machines were built to last, we used just to hit them whenever they glitched out,” Thomas explained, smirking cruelly at his first love.
Surprise beamed with an ah-ha moment. “Hey, yeah. We did the same thing back with equipment over at the Weather Factory.”
“The newer stuff is a lot more complex, but super delicate. Older equipment was made tough enough to take all kinds of punishment,” added Thomas.
“Hold on. I thought we were punishing Moonlight for her lack of faith in love and hugs,” Luna reminded, feeling somewhat put off by this flip in the script. “Why are you suddenly ganging up on me?”
“Duh. Because your perfect teats need a tune-up,” deadpanned Surprise as she set her hands beneath the magnificent orbs and performed the Herculean task of lifting them high until Luna’s nipples were level with her shoulders. “We can’t let these things break down. They’re a national treasure.”
“I’m inclined to agree,” Moonlight tentatively allowed, though still keeping at a safe distance in case this was a trap. “So what do we do? Do I just use Thomas to knock everything back into alignment? Because—and I just want to make this perfectly clear—I’m fully prepared to do that.”
“Hold on, let’s not be too hasty,” Thomas advised. “For all we know, this might just be the tip of the round and bodacious problem. There could be other issues elsewhere.” Then, with a maniacal grin, he added, “We’ll have to be thorough.”
“Gah! N-nooo!” Silver whined as she tried to pull herself free. Her silver cheeks were flushed pink, and her chest rose and fell with labored breaths. Her hands stayed on Honey’s ears in the hopes of massaging them to earn her freedom. However, although Honey moaned in delight, it was more likely out of taste than appreciation for her ears. The earth mare looked up at the helpless bat with a smirk as she continued using her mouth. “Le-let me gooo,” Silver whined again as she desperately reached out for Luna. “I-I have to…”
“Booby strike!” Surprise declared as she spun her body so that her breasts impacted Luna’s. *Pomph-Thwack* As the alicorn fell back on the bed and rubbed where she’d been hit, Surprise pressed her advantage and jumped. “Booby slam!” Using her wings to gain extra height, Surprise hovered directly over her Princess before folding her wings in and letting gravity do its thing.
“Uh, teat trounce!” Luna uncertainly said before arching her back to fling her breasts upward. They impacted Surprise before the pegasus’ attack could connect, sending the white mare forward and off the bed.
“Malfunctioning or not, we cannot underestimate the power in those teats,” Moonlight assessed. “Any thoughts?”
Thomas covered his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. “Th-this is too-ho grea-at!” he wheezed.
“Thank you, Thomas. Your insight is appreciated,” Moonlight deadpanned. “Luna’s sitting up, so we have to act quickly. As curious as I am to be on the receiving end of a booby strike, one blow will surely take me out of the game, and that just won’t do.”
Thomas had to fight hard to get his giggles under control. “Th-then do that,” he stammered.
“Do what?”
“Wh-what you said; an attack you don’t want to dodge. I bet she feels the same,” Thomas chortled as he gestured at Luna.
Striking a martial arts pose, Luna extended her hand and beckoned them forward. “I welcome your feeble defiance,” she invited, trying to stay serious, but her tongue wetting her lips betrayed her true desire. “Bring it!”
“Okay, uh…” Moonlight spied the ideal weapon and regained her confident smirk. “Spinning top penis slapper!” Spinning Thomas while levitating him was tricky. She had to carefully regulate his speed to not cause him harm, but still, be fast enough to use him as a weapon. Using her horn, she levitated him a short distance in front of her with his pelvis level with Luna’s face, and slowly stepped forward.
“Oh, that’s clever,” Luna praised. “Are you well, my stallion?”
“Yeah, this is fine,” Thomas confirmed, still snickering.
“In that case, curse you, vile rebel!” Luna declared, now back in character. “Well, two can play at this game.” Lighting her horn, she pulled Surprise back into play. The white mare looked confused, until she spun around so that her butt faced Luna’s enemies. “Now, witness the terrible and unstoppable might of the moon! Mwahaha!” Instead of spinning her living weapon, Luna folded Surprise’s legs against her chest and bounced the white mare’s rear enough to maximize booty jiggle while keeping the rest of the mare steady.
“Run, guys. You don’t stand a chance!” Surprise implored. “Now that she’s using my plot, Luna is truly unstoppable!”
“Don’t lose faith, Surprise,” Moonlight urged. “We can still win.”
“Sorry, but not a chance. Ain’t no way these big beautiful buns,”—Surprise paused to proudly tap her hand to her rump—“are gonna lose to that twig.”
Honey pulled her mouth away from Silver. The bat mare was flushed, sweaty, and barely conscious. Regardless, after licking her lips of sweet mare juice, Honey asked, “Ya’ll still followin’ any ‘f this? Cuz honestly, Ah ain’t got no idea what’s happenin’ no more.”
Silver took a second to regain her breath as she clung to Honey’s head. Then, panting in exhaustion, she turned around and attempted to assess the situation. “Well, Surprise is begging, but she’s clearly eager to show off her assets.”
“Guilty,” Surprise tittered.
“Thomas is just going with the flow, probably as lost as you are, and I don’t think he could hold a straight face to save his life right now.”
Thomas just laughed and gave a thumbs-up.
“Th-the main instigators a-are Luna and Moonlight,” Silver assessed. “I don’t think they really care about the reason. They just need an excuse to release some tension on each other, and we’re caught up in the middle.”
“Not me,” Honey countered. “Ah’m steerin’ clear ta enjoy the show.” She then went back to sucking on Silver, once more incapacitating the poor bat. However, this time, Honey turned her head so that she could keep an on things.
“Okay, getting real dizzy, over here,” Thomas interjected as he tried to focus on remembering the tension thing. That sounded like something they needed to talk about. “Can we hurry this up?”
“Very well. Let this contest be decided,” Luna declared. “Surprise, use butt buster!”
Still encased in Luna’s magic, Surprise tried not to look too eager as she felt herself fly backward. She relaxed her rear to ensure maximum impact. The pegasus giggled in anticipation as she looked back at her target, only to blink when he disappeared. “Huuh!” she moaned when she felt it. Something small had just slapped her marehood. Then it did it again and again. It slapped her marehood so rapidly that she quickly lost count. Her legs squirmed in Luna’s magical bonds, while her wings were free to stiffen. Seeing a pair of spinning feet down by her chest, Surprise realized what happened.
However, Moonlight was too engrossed in the mood not to narrate. “Ha! By pulling Thomas back and slipping him underneath, not only did you miss, but you left Surprise vulnerable to the deadly dick slap.”
“I thought I was a s-spinning top?” asked Thomas, trying not to moan. Not only was his penis striking something soft and warm, but he had a very up-close-and-personal view of Surprise’s shapely rump. He was so close that he could smell its sweetness.
“Never mind,” Moonlight dismissed. “Now, time for the sexy slide!”
Luckily for Thomas, Moonlight finally stopped spinning him. Instead, she started pushing him back and forth along the white mare’s front. His now erect penis prodded over and around Surprise’s slit while his feet poked between her breasts. Her moans were loud and lewd as her soft breast flesh squished around his feet. “Hey, is this better?” Since his feet weren’t bound, Thomas bent his knees to press his soles to the bottom of Surprise’s breasts. As Moonlight moved him, he bent and straightened his knees to gently fondle the mare’s massive milkers.
“Ooh-hoo, that’s different. Keep it up,” Surprise cooed as Luna stopped bouncing her rump. Since her hands were also free, she reached down to her chest. Ignoring Thomas’ feet, she gently pinched her nipples. “Mmh, that’s niiice.”
After almost a minute of the magic users erotically rubbing their ‘weapons’ together, Moonlight spoke. “I think Honey’s right. We’ve really lost the plot on this one.”
“I concur,” agreed Luna as she watched Surprise’s flushed face moan in pleasure. “Surely, you don’t propose to stop, do you?”
“Oh, alicorns, no,” Moonlight denied as she bent Thomas’ torso forward so that he could grab ahold of Surprise’s backside while she continued using his prick to stroke the pegasus’ sex. “But I don’t think we’ll settle anything like this.”
“Indeed, so, what do we do?”
“Ya settle things like real mares,” Honey answered after once more freeing Silver from her lips. “Fight yer own fights instead ‘f usin’ others ta get yer way.” Then, after a brief pause, she added, “But keep callin’ out attack names. That’s fun.”
The magic users agreed and moved their proxies off to the side before releasing the spell, but with Thomas on top. Surprise moved her knees to give Thomas back support so he could sit up and continue massaging her teats with his feet. It went without saying that all mares present were curious to try this for themselves, but there was an order to things, and Moonlight and Luna had a score to settle… apparently.
“Head crusher!” Luna spun around, bent over, and rocketed her butt at her opponent. As she did, she flexed her muscles to clap her cheeks, leaving no doubt as to her intent. *Clap-Clap-Clap*
Moonlight felt as though she’d been backed into a corner. Thomas’ manhood had been her best weapon. By contrast, her feminine assets were meager compared to those of her fellow concubines. However, she couldn’t afford to back down. Even if she stood no chance of winning, it was the principle of the thing. With Luna’s thunderclap approaching fast, Moonlight gambled on a prior attack. Rather than using magic on her opponent, which she was fairly sure went against the rules that they’d never agreed to, Moonlight conjured her trademark shield and pressed it between her shoulder blades as she leaned back. The move was simple, yet brilliant. As with Thomas, she’d not only dodge, but be in prime position to deliver a vicious licking attack to Luna’s marehood. This would throw off the alicorn and leave her vulnerable to Moonlight’s next attack. However, it was not to be.
*THUD*
Before she’d gone too far, Luna bent her knees and slammed her hooves to the floor to either side of the mare below her. Now, squatting like she was preparing for sumo, Luna kept hold of her breasts to prevent them from impacting Moonlight. Grinning as she felt the unicorn’s breath against her nethers, Luna pulled her teats apart to stare down her belly at her stupefied opponent. Then, feeling cheeky, Luna released her boobies to impact Moonlight’s knees. After staring transfixed into Luna’s sacred moon for so long, the shock broke Moonlight’s shield spell, and she fell on her back.
“Oof!” Moonlight grunted. Luna’s sexual musk filling her lungs made the unicorn feel like she was drowning, but more in a more relaxed fashion. She gasped for more air, craving the sensation of the musk gliding through her nostrils and over her taste buds. Then, as if having an out-of-body experience, Moonlight felt her head look down to behold the upside-down face of beauty incarnate. Luna’s smile wasn’t sinister or sadistic. Instead, there was a kind of triumphant reassurance as she sweetly fluttered her eyelashes. It was like the great big mare was serenely assuring Moonlight that this was how things were meant to be, and that the unicorn should embrace her fate.
“Butt guillotine,” Luna almost whispered as she dropped her rear onto her unicorn’s face. The impact was soft, cushioned by the alicorn’s generous backside, but the victory was no less absolute. Luna inhaled deeply before releasing a contented sigh. As she got her knees into a more comfortable position, she wiggled her rump and gently clenched her cheeks around the other mare’s face. “Mmh, yes. That is my good filly.”
“Hey, you stole that,” Thomas accused as he continued lazily pawing at Surprise’s boobs with his feet. At the same time, the white mare had moved her hands to idly play with his meat. Instead of jerking him off, she amused herself by casually flicking his erection around.
“What, really?” Honey asked. Sensing that this game had concluded, she grabbed hold of Silver and gently pulled the mare from her head. A far cry from her earlier resistance, the bat’s limbs were as limp as noodles after climaxing so much to Honey’s tongue. As such, the earth mare cradled her smaller lover in her arms like a baby. Even so, her ears still fixed squarely on Thomas.
“Yeah, you stole that move from Keijo,” the human elaborated.
“Nope, bad call,” Surprise cut in. Then, at Thomas’ confusion, she explained. “We all saw that show in your dreams. It was funny,” she giggled. “But I don’t think it counts as stealing for something like this. It’s not anything official, just some fun between friends.”
“Surprise is right,” agreed Luna. “If I am guilty of taking inspiration from those stories to win this match, then you are just as guilty for using those stories to entertain pretty mares.”
“Mmmh,” Moonlight moaned from between Luna’s legs. As her fingers fondled her sex, it wasn’t clear who she’d agreed with, or if she was even listening.
Thomas’ eyes flipped between the mares around him. Luna triumphantly smirked as she sat on Moonlight’s face, most likely to impose her domination over the unicorn’s failed ‘coup.’ Honey stood off to the side, looking very chill as she helped Silver stand steady. The bat mare moaned and swayed like she’d just come off an especially intense ride—specifically, Honey’s face—but was slowly regaining her land legs while clenching her thighs together. Moonlight’s face was utterly enveloped under Luna’s tremendous plot, and most of her body was obscured by the alicorn’s thunder thighs. However, judging by how the unicorn was casually fingering her sex, she didn’t hate this arrangement. Surprise contentedly hummed as Thomas sat propped up on her knees while casually pawing her mammoth mammaries with his feet. Honestly, the soft mounds of chest fat felt nice against his soles, but the pegasus’ moans suggested that she was getting more enjoyment from this arrangement. Deciding that it wasn’t worth the trouble to argue fighting moves, Thomas turned his attention to the mare between Luna’s legs. “She’s alright, right?”
Luna beamed, wiggled her hips, and moaned while biting her bottom lip. “Her licking is less enthusiastic than usual, but that is to be expected,” she tittered. “I did just wear her out.”
“Yeah, I figured that part,” Thomas allowed. “But Silver said something about tension between you two.” He gestured between the dark and light-furred mares, his question implicit.
Silver tittered tiredly. “These things happen in herds. When ponies don’t talk enough and hold things back, it creates tension, which leads to friendly spats like these. It’s perfectly normal and healthy.”
“It’s true,” Honey agreed. “Luna ‘n’ Ah had us a li’l back ‘n’ forth when we went ta the comic store. Ah was steppin’ on her hooves, ‘n’ she set me right. We jus’ needed ta hash some stuff out, ‘n’ we felt better after.”
Thomas frowned. “Fighting like that doesn’t sound healthy. It sounds like you need couple’s counseling.”
“Ah guess natural is better ‘an healthy,” Honey conceded. “‘Sides, there’s a difference between a spat ‘n’ a fight. The latter’s a problem. The first is jus’ blowin’ off steam.”
“Okay, but you”—Thomas motioned to Silver—“said that this happens when ponies don’t talk. Isn’t it better just to do that?”
“Yeah, and that’s what makes it healthy,” Surprise chipped in. “A spat lets off steam before things boil over, but it also lets others know that boiling’s happening. It’s dumb, but everypony tries to hide and ignore their problems sometimes. That’s what’s not healthy. A harmless spat is like an alert telling everypony that something’s up.”
Luna nodded. “Indeed. Something is up with Moonlight. It could be Jet, or a multitude of tiny stressors that are unavoidable in life. In either case, then it is the herd’s responsibility to help manage their mate’s stress.”
Thomas nodded and hummed thoughtfully. “Huh, and here I thought daily sex would be the ultimate stress release.”
“Oh, it is,” Surprise giggled. “It definitely is, but there’s still some stuff that boils anyway. Do humans really not do that?”
“We don’t have these warning outbursts, no. At least, that’s not how they’re treated. If someone gets stressed, they might snap and say something harsh. That might be a warning of deeper issues, but it’s not taken as nicely as all of this.” Thomas gestured around the mares in the room. “Sometimes, folks snap and get violent. Honestly, I’m trying to describe it, but the short answer is that humans have a lot of bad ideas about mental health that often either ignore problems or make them worse. We haven’t figured ourselves out like you guys have.”
*Tap-tap*
“Oh, it appears that somepony has something to say.” Luna motioned where Moonlight was tapping her inner thigh. Then, alicorn the sat up and magically extracted the unicorn from under her posterior before gently setting her on her hooves. “Can you stand?”
Moonlight nodded, and Luna’s aura vanished. Then, she turned to Thomas and sternly said, “If I’m feeling stressed, it’s because of you.”
Thomas pursed his lips and braced to be read the riot act.
“When you were taking care of me after my heat, you said some concerning things about your species. And just now, you did it again.” Moonlight wet her lips. “Thomas, do you… not like humans?”
“I…” Thomas looked around and met everyone else’s eyes. He was the center of attention, and not in the way he liked. It was like the ponies had spontaneously sprung an intervention on him. Given what Surprise just explained, this was probably normal for herds, but it still left him feeling awkward. As such, Thomas had the feeling that even if he found a way to weasel out of this specific instance, there was no escape from his mares sticking their big noses in his personal issues. And honestly, as uncomfortable as it made him, he was grateful that they cared enough to do so.
Moonlight soon caught on to Thomas’ body language. “I’m sorry if this isn’t ideal for you. I only know how to talk about these things the pony way, but I’m pretty sure they need to be talked about. If there’s something that you prefer, we can do that, but I’m not letting you bottle things up so they can boil over.” Moonlight’s tone brokered no argument as she folded her arms. Then, lightening the mood, she softly added, “If I let that happen to my stallion, Luna would paddle me.”
“It’s true,” confirmed Luna as Thomas snorted a surprised laugh.
“My dad taught me how to give somepony the silent treatment, but really loudly,” added Surprise in a light-hearted threat.
“Me, Ah’d jus’ sit on ya both ‘til ya agreed ta confess,” Honey casually informed.
“This is how it goes with herds,” Silver started. “Your problems are hers, and hers are yours. It was cute how worried and determined you looked when you were concerned about Moonlight’s stress. Well, that is how she feels, now. So, for her sake, let us help.”
Thomas chuckled weakly. “Alright, I guess I’ve got no choice. But, first thing’s first.” He gestured down to where his feet had stopped kneading Surprise’s boobs. “Is this awkward for anyone else, or is it just me?”
“It’s awkward for me,” Surprise whined. “Why’d you stop? That felt nice.”
“Okay…” Thomas tiredly huffed and resumed squishing his soles to the bottom of the mare’s breasts. Admittedly, this did feel pretty nice. Then, looking at Moonlight, he said, “In answer to your question, I don’t know. Human history is a mixed bag of pretty much everything, good and bad. If it’s possible, or even impossible, someone somewhere has tried it. There’s lots of people with big ideas and bigger personalities that’ve shaped the world. At the same time, a lot of them have had either poor morals or mediocre planning skills. I could go on, but I like to think I’ve got a realistic outlook on humans. There’s good and bad in everyone and everything. It’s just that”—he paused to look around—“from what little I’ve seen, I might just be bummed that the pony world is a much nicer place to live.”
Moonlight frowned, her face displaying skepticism. “Is that it, though? So you’re envious that Canterlot seems nicer than anywhere on Earth?”
Thomas shrugged nonchalantly. “Eh, I guess it could also be my depression acting up.”
“Oh, you mentioned this before,” Surprise recalled. “You get really down on yourself for, like, no reason, right?”
“More or less,” Thomas allowed. “I think my case is high-functioning because some people get so down that they can’t even get out of bed. There are pills for that, but I’ve never taken any. Mostly, I’m just a natural pessimist. My default view is to look on the dim side of things.”
“I thought we agreed that you’d tell us whenever those moods sprung up,” Moonlight interjected, trying to keep her voice even and not too accusatory.
“Yeah, I know, and I’m sorry. I fully agree that talking things out with friends is the healthiest way to deal with it,” Thomas submissively explained. “However, this is my default headspace. If things get bad, I’ll tell you, but I’m not about to go blabbing every time I get a bad thought. Even I’d get sick of me after that.”
Moonlight pursed her lips. “You know I’m only asking because I’m worried about you.”
“I do, and I appreciate it,” Thomas acknowledged and once more motioned around the room. “As I said, I’m high-functioning, so just having you guys around is a big help. It’s definitely better than medication; I can tell you that.” However, despite his words, the mares remained dissatisfied with his explanation. So, he tried something else. “I’m still sticking with Team Love. Hugs are the best, so if you agree to keep an ear out, I’ll try to speak up more if my moods start acting up, and we can just cuddle a lot in the meantime. Is that fair?”
Moonlight exhaled, walked across the room, and knelt over Thomas. Stroking his hair, she said, “As far as stallions go, you are incredibly vexing. I hope you understand that.”
“I choose to take it as a compliment,” Thomas replied as he returned the favor, running his fingers through Moonlight’s mane. “So, does this mean you won’t get stressed so much anymore?”
Moonlight grinned and said, “Not even close. In fact, considering that this is just how you are, I might get into more spats than ever.” She sat up and looked around. “Sorry, guys, but my stubborn stallion has an incurable condition, so I’m gonna take it out on all of you. Nothing personal.”
“Oh, Ah take it personal, alright,” intoned Honey. “Next time ya get in the mood, ya’d better let me know. Ah’ll help ya relax like no pony’s business.”
“Yeah,” Surprise cheered. “Poke her right in the teat, so she doesn’t misunderstand.”
Silver rolled her eyes. “Honestly, as fun as this was to watch, it was terribly tedious for its function. If you need my help, just pull me into a wrestling match. We can roll around until we feel better.”
“Boo, boring,” Surprise jeered. “Also wrong. Smiles trounce frowns, so fun spats do better in pushing through the bad stuff.”
Thomas raised his hand. “For the record, am I allowed to spat, or is this a sex discrimination thing?”
“Generally, males and females do not spat together,” Luna confirmed. “Though, admittedly, it can be difficult to distinguish between a spat and playful wrestling.”
“Sometimes, ya jus’ feel like puttin’ yer stallion in a headlock,” Honey agreed. But then, her grin turned broad and mischievous as she added, “Want me ta show ya?”
Thomas shrugged while continuing to recline against Surprise’s legs. “So long as we’re here, might as well.”
Honey’s expression turned sour. “Yer not s’posed ta agree. It ain’t no fun if ya don’t fight back.”
Thomas chuckled. “Seriously? Me fight back against you? I saw what Silver was doing to hold you back, and I’m not that limber. So against me, I don’t think you can do anything that’s any better than pity.”
“Sorry, Honey. Looks like your super beefy biceps disqualified you,” Surprise cheerfully informed. “Does that happen a lot?”
Honey puttered her lips in exasperation. “Too often.”
“She’s right, though. It’s better when it’s spontaneous,” Moonlight added as she resumed petting Thomas’ hair. “You need a haircut.”
“I don’t know. I kinda like it when it’s all long and scrappy,” Surprise said while lightly bouncing her knees.
“The look does suit you,” Silver allowed, “but I think you can do better. Human manes are so unruly; perhaps you could try for a more dignified look.”
“Don’t listen to ‘em, sugar. Long manes are the way ta go.”
“Is there a reason everyone’s suddenly obsessed with my hair?” Thomas asked.
“They are trying to provoke you into a confrontation,” Luna informed. “You said that you wanted a spat, and this is how they often start, with mares goading each other into cutting loose.”
That’s when Thomas got a devilish idea. “In that case, since I don’t really care about my hair, I’ll leave the decision up to whoever’s got the nicest boobs… who isn’t Luna.” After a second of silence, he added, “Also, I forfeit the right to act as judge. You guys can decide among yourselves.” A moment of intense silence followed.
“Oh, he’s good,” praised Surprise.
“Indeed. You are most diabolical,” agreed Luna. “Is an inclination toward wicked ideas part of depression?”
“Nah, that’s just me.” Then Thomas looked down and amended, “Better idea. Winner gets the next turn with my feet.”
“Well, that is hardly fair,” Silver scoffed. “Obviously, you are biased towards Moonlight. Her teats might be plumper, but it is discriminatory to simply dismiss the appeal of a leaner body,” she said while running her hands down her chest.
“I said I’m not the judge, remember. You guys have to decide who has the nicer chest.”
“Surprise might have softness, but everypony knows firm beats soft every time.” Honey folded her arms behind her head, pushed out her chest, and flexed her muscles to control her boobs’ bouncing. “These girls ain’t just fer show. Ah know how ta put ‘em ta work.”
“Tricks might be fun, but if I’m feeling down, I know what I’d rather run toward to feel better,” Surprise said as she pressed her hands to either side of her chest and squished her teats together. “Mmh, that’s nice.” She looked around with a mischievous grin and added, “Tell me you don’t want to use these lovely ladies as a pillow right now. Go on; I dare ya.”
“I feel like I’m at a disadvantage here,” Moonlight admitted. “My teats are in a middle ground without any real specialty.” Frowning, she then added, “Do I need bigger breasts?”
“No, your boobs are perfect as they are,” Thomas assured. “Everyone has preferences, often for the different extremes, but I’m actually partial to vanilla. By human standards, you’re the most realistic. I’ve never been a fan of anything too extreme.”
Luna cleared her throat.
“You know I didn’t mean you,” Thomas hurriedly defended. “You’ve got a body that keeps things proportional. If Moonlight started walking around with your boobs, that’s the kind of extreme that turns me off.”
“Speak for yourself,” Surprise giggled. “I wanna see that now.”
“I do not. My back hurts simply from thinking such a thing,” Silver said in dread while looking down and cupping the air around her chest.
Honey nodded. “Same. Ah love mah girls, but they ain’t light. Ya’ll’d need some kinda wheelchair fer teats like Luna’s.”
“I saw that in a cartoon, once. It was like a nightstand with wheels,” Thomas contributed.
“So, there is a way to make it work,” Surprise said in a low-key eureka moment. Then, she turned to Luna and clapped her hands. “Make it happen.”
“Weren’t we competing to see who had the nicer teats?” reminded Moonlight. “I’m fairly certain that natural teats were implied.”
“Oh, right,” Surprise conceded as she went into deep thought. “Uh… Luna, do it anyway. Outside interference is grounds for disqualification. I know I’ll win anyway, but it never hurts to take precautions.”
“I am comfortable not cheating, thank you,” Luna politely declined before facing Moonlight. “Also, Thomas is right. Your chest is perfect for your body type, and having a chest like mine would be ridiculous.”
“But that’s what makes it funny,” whined Surprise.
“Surprise, quit steerin’ us off-topic,” Honey chided. “We’re tryin’ ta have a serious discussion here.”
“Well, excuse me for trying to make talking about boobs more fun,” Surprise indignantly huffed.
Thomas pursed his lips. “You’d think that talking about boobs would be fun by default. Although, if we’re doing a comparison, that’d at least be passionate. Also, you can’t blame Surprise for getting us off-topic. I already did that when we were talking about spats.”
“If I might, I have a solution to our dilemma,” Silver began. “First, we concede that, together, we are terribly easily distracted. It is not so bad when there are only two or three of us, but altogether, we are a frightful mess.”
Everyone nodded their agreement. “Fair ‘nough.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I suppose that’s true.” “Huh, I never noticed that before.” “Verily!”
“And second, our teats are too different, and the judges are too biased. So, I propose we scrap the teat contest and play rock-paper-scissors to determine who gets to enjoy Thomas’ feet next. All in favor?”
“Aye!” sounded the mares.
“All opposed?”
“Nay.”
Silver frowned at Thomas. “Did you truly want to see us bicker so badly?”
“Nah, I just felt like being difficult.”
“In that case, I have a third proposal,” Silver continued. “Somepony sits on Thomas’ face so that he cannot interject anymore wicked human chaos into our civilized”—she melodramatically stressed—“pony discussions. All in favor?”
“Aye!” the harem announced unanimously.
“But only if Silver spats me,” Thomas interjected. “We kept talking about it, so now I’m curious, and you’re probably the only one I stand a chance against.”
Silver good-naturedly rolled her eyes. “Well, if I must.” With an unnecessarily drawn-out sigh, she lowered her stance. Then, a heartbeat later, she rocketed forward, snatching Thomas from his soft Surprise recliner, and slammed him into the almost-as-soft bed. “Know your place, colt,” she intoned with a playful smirk as she sat on his waist. Her knees planted firmly to either side of him to secure her position on top.
“Oh, you mean”—Thomas stabbed his fingers under Silver’s pits—“here!?”
The bat mare clenched her arms to her sides, but it was already too late. She roared with laughter and nearly doubled over. “S-s-stooop! Tha-tha-that’s not faaair!”
“Don’t care. Too fun,” Thomas countered as he took advantage of Silver’s distraction to flip her over. He leveraged his position to press the attack, but seeing Silver’s happy face left him feeling playful. While spats sounded a little more aggressive, Thomas couldn’t help but drop his head to kiss along the bat mare’s muzzle.
However, this was precisely the distraction Silver was waiting for. In a single motion, she forced his fingers out of her pits and stabbed her slender digits under his smelly arms. “Ha, take that!”
“Ha-ha, nooo! S-stooop!” Thomas laughed as he struggled to stay on top. That task grew extra tricky when he felt a third hand caress his bottom. He turned to see Moonlight had climbed next to them on the bed while smiling like no one yet realized that she’d unleashed a deadly fart. “Wh-wha?”
“All’s fair in love and war, and this is both,” Moonlight said before pinching his rear.
As Silver rolled the human onto his back, she hurriedly sat up to pull out of his range. The pair threw hands in the sloppiest, most disorganized game of patty cake ever. Then, as they struggled to establish dominance, the other mares assembled around the spatting pair, and unanimously agreed that personal space was for losers. Luna jabbed her fingers under Silver’s arms, almost making the smaller mare flail like a landed fish. Likewise, Thomas was no better off as Honey attacked his feet, sucking his right big toe and tickling his left sole. Surprise came around from Thomas’ left, grabbed his and Silver’s left and right wrists, respectively, and forced their hands onto her nipples. She alternated the pressure to mimic Thomas’ earlier pawing, and her expression suggested that she liked it. That just left Moonlight to cuddle Thomas’ right like he was a body pillow. She turned his face so that her lips met his, while her free hand idly fondled Silver’s boob.
What started as a roughly even and honorable match between the harem’s shortest members had swiftly devolved into an utter slaughter as the big mares imposed their dominance. Silver had it the worst. Luna’s tickles were relentless, and the big mare worsened the little mare’s plight by pressing her titanic titties into her subject’s back. Silver was torn between laughter and moaning, especially with Surprise’s soft breast added to the mix. She cried happy tears all the same.
Moonlight’s lips felt pleasant, and Thomas tried to give her the serious kiss she deserved. However, Honey’s dual tickling and sucking attack made his efforts impossible as he repeatedly laughed around her mouth. Moonlight countered by grabbing the back of his head and more forcefully pulling him into the kiss. On top of that, not only was Surprise’s boob soft in his palm, but Silver’s cry-laughing, while Luna loomed behind her, was frightfully eye-catching.
Thomas wondered if the spat was still going. He didn’t have any real issue with Silver, but maybe the other mares did with him. Maybe the mares were taking their stress out on him for making them worry? It was just as likely that they were taking revenge for him making them compare their boobs, which they handled with remarkable maturity, in his opinion. Honestly, if this was how his loves wanted to take their frustrations out on him, if this was what they needed to maintain their mental health, then he was happy to help.
Eventually, the big mares silently agreed to let up on their attacks. Silver collapsed atop Thomas while he used his now free hands to stroke her back. Her soft fur felt nice, and the way she nuzzled under his chin felt nicer. The big mares sat around their smaller counterparts, their great sizes casting immense shadows.
“Are you ready?” Moonlight asked with barely restrained anticipation. “We played when you two first started, so my turn is next.”
“Just one thing,” Thomas began as he shifted atop the covers. “If we ever open a portal to Earth, you guys are gonna need to establish some strict border control. Once the humans figure out what this place has to offer, they’ll be coming by the droves, cuz this place is awesome.”
The big mares laughed and descended upon their prey. Moonlight might have gotten Thomas’ coveted feet, but the others weren’t content to idly sit by. Instead, they used their favorite human as a communal seat. Surprise and Honey each got a hand, while Luna had to turn around to get his face, and even then, her gargantuan booty enveloped most of his upper torso. Silver saw no need to move, content with hot-dogging Thomas’ man meat while worshipping Luna’s mighty moon. As Thomas surrendered to the pleasure of the moment, it occurred to him that the mares weren’t fucking him. Their movements were too slow and tender for that. Instead, this was more like casual love-making. The spat was to let out any excess aggression, and now comes the aftercare.
Seriously, that border better have a big ass wall, gun towers, and landmines, because nothing less would keep the desperately lonely out of this paradise.
“You sure?” Thomas whispered into Moonlight’s ear.
“It’s a lovely gesture,” she assured.
“But—”
“They won’t mind,” she said with a sympathetic laugh. “Just know that I’m proud of you for taking the initiative like this.”
“If the two of you are plotting my assassination,” Luna began as the other concubines busied themselves with helping her dress, “then I must confess my disappointment in your failure to properly plan ahead.”
“Plot. Ass,” Surprise snickered.
“Riveting,” Silver added with a roll of her eyes.
Honey just smiled in silence as she waited for things to unfold.
Sharing one last nod with Moonlight, Thomas took a deep breath and marched over to Luna, hoping he didn’t look too stiff. He smacked his lips, thinking of all the different ways he could approach this. Then, when he saw Luna staring expectantly down at him, he decided the simplest approach would be to rip the bandage off as quickly as possible. “You want to go on a picnic, just the two of us?”
Luna tilted her head curiously. “I would love to, but you seem quite nervous. So tell me, what brought this on?”
With all eyes on him, Thomas let out a sigh and continued ripping the bandage. “You were my first. The first person I ever really opened up to, and not just since I came to Equestria. We were there for each other at a time we both needed someone.”
Luna nodded along as she silently listened.
“And while I know the whole point of herds is to share affection equally, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been neglecting you lately, so, well,” he trailed off, shuffling his feet. “I just thought it’d be nice if the two of us could just have some, ya know, alone time together.” With his proposal made, Thomas stood as straight as he could, too fearful of fidgeting as he awaited her response.
Then, after what felt like hours, Luna gave her answer. “That sounds splendid.”
Thomas blinked, incredulous that his proposal would be accepted so quickly. “It does?”
Luna nodded. “While you are right that herd affections are to be shared equally, sometimes a little one-on-one time can be quite refreshing.”
“Yeah, silly,” chirped Surprise. “Did you really think we’d get upset over something like that?”
Thomas just stared flatly at the pegasus until she gave an embarrassed laugh.
“Point taken.”
“Even so, I agree with Moonlight in that I’m quite proud of you for taking the initiative all on your own,” Silver offered while setting Luna’s earrings.
“Maybe we should get some alone time fer ourselves, too,” Honey suggested. “Just some nice, old-fashioned datin’ on a warm Saturday night sounds right peaceful. It’ll be like our initiations, only more fun.”
“Alright, then,” Thomas said enthusiastically. Not only was he relieved that everyone was so accepting, but their excitement was spilling over to him, making him all the more eager. “Tomorrow night, let’s pair off for our dates.”
**********
After a long night’s work and a good day’s rest, Thomas was ready to begin their date. He’d prepared a nice basket lunch beforehand and showed up to Luna’s door like he was about to take her out to prom, dressed in his cleanest loincloth. However, since they’d agreed on this being an informal outing, Thomas was relieved when Luna showed up without any of her usual regalia and dressed only in a simple red sweater with her cutie marks on the hips of her skirt.
“I trust my stud has picked out a lovely venue this evening,” she purred.
“Once you’re there, it will be.”
“Too cheesy!” Talon called from behind Luna.
“I’m choosing to ignore the jealous one,” Thomas said dispassionately, never tearing his eyes from Luna as she snickered.
“I, for one, happen to appreciate your method of romance, cheese and all.”
“Hey, your loss,” Talon said before moving past the others, taking wing, and flying off to parts unknown.
With that settled, Thomas led the way down the opposite hall, followed by a couple of guards that Thomas recognized but couldn’t name. They walked hand-in-hand, with Thomas no longer as bothered by their height difference as he used to be. They said little, but he was fine with that. It was nice just having this goddess of a mare all to himself again. After a few more minutes of casual walking, the pair finally made their way to the gardens.
Since lunch was still a ways off, the two decided to cozy up on the nearest bench and just enjoy the feeling of one another’s warmth as Luna eased her arms around her beloved human. He, in turn, wrapped his arms around hers. The view this time of night was lovely, with many night flowers in full bloom. Critters of all sorts roamed the land, chittering away without paying the newcomers much mind. The gardeners and the guards were much the same and gave the royalty and her professional lover their space.
“So,” Thomas began after feeling the silence had gone on for too long. He was also fearful the soft comfort of Luna’s body might draw him to sleep. In his position, he was able to look up and take in the full, unobstructed beauty of the night sky. “What constellations are out right now?”
Luna’s ears perked in excitement as she pointed. “This evening, we have a lovely Taurus, the ancient Minotaur King. You can see him wielding his mighty hammer as he smashes the mountainside into the first maze.”
“We have a Taurus back on earth, too,” Thomas smiled as he strained his eyes to make out what was indeed a minotaur with a giant hammer. “He was just a bull, though.”
“Just a bull?” Luna raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Your people made a constellation for no other reason than to have a common animal in the sky?”
“We don’t make constellations, remember?” Thomas pointed out. “Ancient civilizations picked out groups of stars and sorta randomly decided that they looked like things. It was for navigation, mostly.”
“Ah, yes,” Luna nodded. “Your people have no real control over your world.”
“Nope,” Thomas flatly said as he looked back up into the night sky. “And it kinda shows.”
“Does it now?”
“Yeah. In my world, the sky just is the way it is. I suppose you could argue that it had a natural beauty, but I was never much of a stargazer. Here… you can really see the difference.” He paused as he gazed intently up at the stars. “Here, it’s obvious that someone made this,” he gestured to the sky. “Someone took a lot of time and effort into painting an amazing picture, and this certain someone managed to do so using the whole sky as their canvas.”
“A certain someone, you say?” Luna cocked an eyebrow.
“Yeah. A certain someone,” Thomas nodded. “Now, I can’t say for certain, but I’d think that certain someone would have to be pretty amazing to do something like this.”
Luna smiled coyly down at Thomas. “Do you intend to win the favor of the Princess of the Night with empty flattery?”
“If I said ‘yes,’ would it still work?” Thomas asked jokingly.
“Difficult to say,” Luna pondered as she stroked his shoulder. “Do you have anything to offer more than words?”
“I’m pretty sure I won our last game,” Thomas said smugly. “Does that count?”
“It could,” Luna concededly nodded before her ear twitched and her headshot in the direction of one of the trees. “But if you’re offering, there is more you could do.”
“What are you looking at?” Thomas asked with needlessly dramatic suspicion.
“‘Tis the local fauna,” Luna said as her eyes focused on her target. “They are most skittish around all but their official caretakers. You would please us greatly if you could manage to win the favor of”—she paused a moment to search for a suitable target and finally pointed—“that squirrel.”
Thomas followed her finger and found a squirrel digging a hole in the ground. It suddenly looked up at Luna’s words and seemed to be giving them the stink eye. Thomas groaned. “So you want me to go chasing down a squirrel while you sit here and watch like the meanie pants you are?”
“Well, anything can sound silly when one says it with that attitude.” Luna bobbed her head dismissively before shooing him off towards the squirrel.
With a mighty groan, Thomas began his task. He glanced backward to find Luna relaxing on the bench before gesturing for him to go on. Then, returning his attention to the rodent, Thomas slowed his pace and crouched down, not to stalk the little guy, since that would be impossible, but to make himself look smaller and hopefully less intimidating. “Hey there, little guy,” he greeted softly.
The squirrel stood up on its hind legs, eyeing Thomas carefully and confirming that it was indeed a male. Thomas sighed inwardly at not accidentally offending the critter, especially considering how intelligent Equestrian animals were. He put on his friendliest grin and picked up an acorn he found on the ground, handing it to the squirrel in a peace offering. The squirrel scurried forward, but stopped about two feet from Thomas’ hand as it sniffed the air. Slowly Thomas pressed his free hand to the ground beside him, letting the squirrel know that he had no intention to grab it. The squirrel scurried a bit closer.
“That’s it, little guy. I ain’t gonna hurt ya.” In his mind, Thomas envisioned the squirrel taking the acorn, only to sit upon his hand as he ate it. The idea of tiny squirrel claws was not all that appealing, but the thought of Luna’s reaction of completing the task above and beyond what she’d expected would be well worth it. “Come on.” He inched his way closer. “There ya g—gah!”
Thomas pulled back in shock at feeling something hit his eye. Rubbing it, he felt strange moisture where none had been before. Once his eye began to recover, he looked at his palm. “I-is that spit?” he asked in disgust. He looked up in time to see the squirrel had seized the acorn he had dropped and was making a break for the tree. Realization hit him like a smack in the face. “Oh, no, you don’t, you little bastard,” he snarled as he began running for the rodent. If the Disney princess method wouldn’t work, he’d just have to rely on old-fashioned force.
However, as must inevitably happen when a human chases a squirrel, the little bastard ascended up the nearest tree, well out of his pursuer’s reach. “Get back here, you little…” Thomas stopped as the squirrel began chittering angrily at him.
“Something the matter?” Luna asked from her place on the bench, not even bothering to hide how much the scenario amused her.
“Little bastard spat in my eye!” Thomas swore as he wiped the last of the spittle from his face. “And now I think he’s cursing at me.”
“Really now?” Luna asked in intrigue. “You speak squirrel?”
“No,” Thomas sighed as he glared up at the still chittering rodent. “But I don’t think there’s anything else he could be saying right now.”
Luna lightly tittered as Thomas bemoaned his predicament and muttered to herself, “This is all too delightful.”
“Yeah, keep laughing, ya little shit,” Thomas spat up at the squirrel. “I’ll have you know I’m a freaking carnivore. The moment I catch you, I’m gonna treat the Princess to a nice squirrel kabob.”
The squirrel tilted its head, as if to consider Thomas’ words, only to throw down the acorn shell and hit him square in the forehead.
“Ah! Son-of-a… That’s it!” Thomas proclaimed as he ran around the side of the tree and jumped up to one of the lower branches.
Luna leaned forward with an excited grin as negotiations broke down and war was declared.
Thomas pulled himself up and managed to find some sound footing in a groove of the tree. He continued his climb from there, taking it one branch at a time. It was slow going, given his relative size and exposed skin. However, he was able to ignore the discomfort and press on, never losing sight of his target as he ascended ever higher.
Luna, meanwhile, readied her magic in case the inevitable happened.
The squirrel continued chittering as it ran back and forth across its branch. Thomas growled at the apparent mockery of his inferior climbing and redoubled his efforts to give pursuit. The squirrel scurried up to Thomas, but stopped just out of his reach. Positioning his feet on a solid feeling branch, Thomas crouched low in a pouncing position, all the while wondering just how stupid he was for not only doing this, but doing it while knowing that it was a bad idea. He gauged the distance and their surroundings as carefully as he could. He was so close he could practically feel the little critter’s fur in his hands. Thomas lunged for the small mammal. It froze, stupefied by such a stupid action.
Then, when the little guy was just a hair’s breadth away from Thomas’ fingertips, there came a searing pain in his wrists. Thomas hissed loudly and reflexively pulled both hands to his chest. This action was immediately regretted as he started falling. Many smaller branches scraped and scratched along his exposed skin, but thankfully there were no thicker branches in his path to slow his quick dissent with rib-shattering force. Thomas plummeted down towards the ever-approaching ground. He closed his eyes and braced for impact, but nothing happened.
Thomas opened his eyes as he felt the familiar tingle of magic engulfing his body, which glowed with a faint teal color. He looked over to find Luna now standing with a worried expression, to whom he gave an appreciative if halfhearted smile.
Luna’s magic extracted him from the tree and levitated him back to the bench, where she maneuvered him into a sitting position beside her. She reached around him, but rested her hand at the top of the bench over his shoulder. Then, when she seemed satisfied that he was not hurt beyond a few scrapes, she smiled down at him. Part of her wanted to scold him for doing something so foolish in the first place, but that part was silenced by the memory of her own goading.
“What?” Thomas asked in annoyance at his failure. “I know I got carried away back there, but what’s that look for?”
“Oh, nothing,” Luna tittered. “‘Tis simply that I was once in a similar position to you.”
Thomas deadpanned at her. “That demands clarification.”
“When Tia and I were still little fillies, our home had a garden much like this one. For some reason, I got it into my dense little head to go chasing a squirrel. Our wings hadn’t developed yet, and our magic wasn’t much better. The vile beast,” she exaggerated dramatically, “lured me up quite high, so high in fact that I became petrified when I realized how far the ground was. Tia, who was much further along in her magical studies, after she finished mocking my predicament, graced me with her generous rescue, for which she decided fair compensation would be half of my dessert for the next week.”
“Huh,” Thomas huffed with a smile. “I can actually see you doing that.”
“Can you, now?”
“Yeah. I bet you looked cute then, too.” He snorted as a tinge of pink touched the alicorn’s cheeks. “Sorry.”
“Liar,” she accused with a smirk. “However, it looked as though you flinched just as you pounced on the beast, but you do not seem to have any bruises, and I did not see you hit anything.”
Thomas’ laughter quickly faded as he stared down at his hands. “I… I’m not sure,” he said as he flexed his fingers and rotated his wrists. “It doesn’t’ feel like anything’s wrong, but I got this sudden pain in both my hands when I, ya know, jumped.”
“Pain?” Luna asked worriedly as she gently reached for his hands. She traced along the bones and joints of both his hands with her soft fingers, but sighed in disappointment when she reached the same conclusion as Thomas. “It doesn’t feel like anything is wrong. Perhaps…”
Her horn lit, and eyes glowed as Thomas felt magic press into his hand. He recognized the penetrating magic that snaked its way beneath his flesh and around his bones as a magical scan, the same that had been performed on his entire body the day he’d come to Equestria.
“Anything?”
“Strange,” Luna said as she released her magic.
“Strange?” Thomas asked as worry began to set in. “What’s strange?”
“I am not sure, which is exactly why it is so strange,” Luna explained in a scholarly manner as she continued holding his hands in hers. “It looks as though something might have briefly pinched nerves in both your hands. I cannot determine what caused this, but the pressure appears to have been applied in the exact same spots at the exact same time. I am unfamiliar with such a phenomenon, although it has been some time since I checked Equestria’s medical records. Might this be a human condition?” Her tone was hopeful for an explanation, anything that might set her worried mind at ease.
Thomas shrugged, disappointed that he could not give the reassurance they both needed. “The only thing that comes to mind is a carpal tunnel, but I don’t think I’ve been doing anything with my hands that might cause that. And carpal tunnels don’t happen in both hands at the same time.”
“Hmm, where exactly was the pain?”
Thomas pulled his left hand free and traced on his right hand from his wrist up to between the knuckles of his middle and ring fingers. “It was like, well, like something sharp cut my hand open and stabbed right through here,” he explained while tracing his finger back over the line. “It only lasted a second, but that’s about how much it hurt. Maybe a pinched nerve or something?”
Luna brought his hand close to her face as she examined the spot in his hand more carefully. “Please describe this carpal tunnel.”
“It’s where you overwork your hand by doing repetitive motions all day long. If I were using a pencil or a mouse all day, that would be one thing.”
“Mouse?”
“Those things I told you went with computers.”
“Oh, yes,” Luna remembered as she pondered. “Repetitive motion, you say? Well, in our opinion, thy hands seem to have been engaged in sufficiently varied motions to avoid this particular plight.”
Thomas gave a huffed laugh. Luna had slipped into her old-fashioned speech, meaning she was even more worried than she was letting on. “Yeah, yeah. Real cute. But if you’re right, if it’s not a carpal tunnel, and it’s not anything you know about, then what is it?”
Luna’s horn lit and materialized a paper and pen. She didn’t even bother looking at it, keeping her focus on Thomas’ wrists as the pen scribbled away. She spared only a fleeting glance at her penmanship before nodding. The paper and pen dematerialized in the same flash in which they’d appeared.
“What was that about?”
Luna gave a long sigh. “A letter to ‘Tia,” she admitted. “A fortnight ago, she spoke to me about your health. Given that it has been so long since your last medical examination, it seemed that a checkup was due. I had actually thought that tonight would be the best to broach the subject, but now I fear it may not be that simple.”
Thomas nodded. “But what about that last time I went to the infirmary? That didn’t find anything, did it?”
Luna shook her head. “No, but alas, there is only so much that can be done in the castle. For a more thorough examination, thou will need to see a specialist.” She swallowed and added, “Outside the castle.”
Thomas furrowed his brow and pursed his lips. “I mean, okay, but why does the ‘where’ matter?”
“The facility We had in mind is the Canterlot Royal Science Academy, particularly their medical wing. It has received much praise for being state-of-the-art, boasting machines unlike any other in the world; machines, alas, that would be obscenely difficult to move to the medical ward here in the castle.”
Thomas nodded along. “You were thinking about this place before”—he shook his hands in Luna’s grip— “this.” It was more of a statement than a question.
Luna nodded and smiled softly. “They and other medical professionals have grown increasingly insistent about examining you. We have since sent agents to these various groups to determine if they had any ulterior motivations.”
“And you were going to tell me this… when?”
Luna’s ears twitched, almost folding against her head. “Some of our agents reported less-than altruistic intentions,” she strained to admit. “We saw no reason to worry you, especially given how such facilities have since been dismantled and their personnel placed on a variety of watch lists.” She wet her lips. “The Canterlot Royal Science Academy, however, has always owed its express fealty to the crowns. Accordingly, applicants are heavily scrutinized, and a code of ethics and moral conduct is strictly enforced.” She pulled Thomas’ wrists close to her chest. “Thou hast our word that they can be trusted.”
Thomas stared up into Luna’s eyes a moment before letting his gaze drop. He felt her tense. “I trust you,” he began. “If you say you’ve done the research and made sure this place is safe, I can’t think of a reason to argue.”
Luna relaxed, but not completely.
“And I get why you didn’t want me to worry about that sort of stuff. Hell, Moonlight’s been dropping hints that I’m due for a checkup, too, so this was basically inevitable, but...” he trailed off.
Luna nodded. “Thou hast our word that We had every intention of telling thee everything tonight,” she assured, “regardless of thine tree-climbing ability.”
That startled a laugh out of Thomas, and he sighed. “That’s all I needed to hear.” Even if you still felt the need to tiptoe around my feelings again, he thought, but swallowed his annoyance. There was no need to pour salt in the wound.
Luna sighed in relief, finally releasing the human’s wrists before wrapping her arms around his back. Then, with a practiced motion, she pulled him in close, angling her arms so that, while Thomas’ little body was engulfed between her vast cleavage, his head remained out in the open and in prime position for cheek rubs. “You’re so patient with me,” she cooed.
For a while, they just stayed like that. Luna hugged Thomas with both her arms and bosom, and Thomas simply basked in her comfortable softness. But alas, the moment was cut short by a gurgle from the mare’s stomach, signaling that it was time to set up the picnic and eat.
“I’m probably going to regret this,” Thomas began, “but now that you’ve mentioned it, I’m suddenly curious what these now-defunct groups had planned. Ya know, so that I know what to look out for,” he added after preparing his ham sandwich.
“Very well,” Luna acknowledged. “Since you have agreed, I feel safe in assuming that dearest Moonlight will be going with you, yes?”
“You plan to tell her not to?”
Luna chuckled. “A fair point.” She gave a more relaxed hum as she started preparing her own double-decker sandwich. “In that case, it should go without saying that there really is no reason that she should not be by your side at all times. If you are asked to separate for any reason, no matter how seemingly benign, I would advise caution.”
“Noted,” Thomas said through his mouthful. “But what about what those bad guys wanted?”
Luna grimaced. “T’would seem that I have been misled regarding how far culture has advanced in my absence,” she began. “The same baseless superstitions and unscrupulous vermin are as plentiful as ever.”
Thomas swallowed his bite. “For some reason, poaching comes to mind.”
“In a manner,” Luna agreed with a growl, staring at her meal as though it had just kicked her puppy. “‘Tis most fortuitous my agents investigated when they did. Only now are the crowns aware of the seedy, black-market demands for”—she hesitated—“human organs.”
Thomas sighed. “Pretty much what I expected,” he admitted before taking another bite. “Baseless superstitions, huh?”
Luna nodded. “I would prefer not to go into further detail. But suffice to say that, now that we are aware of these rumors, a concerted effort is being made to stomp them out.”
“Alright,” Thomas agreed. He was familiar enough with poaching to imagine the horrendous things people would do to meet some wealthy douche’s ass-backward demands. Besides, this topic was getting too grim for his liking, anyway. “Aside from that, any new political developments?”
Luna smiled gratefully at the change in topic. “A grand reopening here, a ratification of changes in verb tense of old laws there, managing Blueblood’s latest scandal off to the side, and topped off with a growing aggravation at the never-ending sea of paperwork, not to mention my desire to see just how high a single stack can reach.”
“You could probably ask Attentive to do the measurements.”
“Bah! And miss out on the chance to stack the worthless kindling myself, followed by the sheer satisfaction of”—she held up one hand and lightly poked at the air in front of her—“tipping it over. Surely you jest?”
“Point made. Point taken,” Thomas agreed and took another bite. “I missed this.”
“Pardon?”
“This,” Thomas said, gesturing vaguely between himself and Luna. “I love the others, but sometimes I miss when it was just the two of us, ya know.”
Luna nodded. “I do. Having you as my only… it put me in mind of when I was still young and so full of ideals. Now I’m old and grumpy about seeing those ideals shattered by the unstoppable juggernaut that is the lack of common sense in the masses.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Thomas offered up his glass bottle of juice. He gave it a shake until Luna held out her own bottle, tapping them together with a soft clink.
“To the eternal dim wits of the mob!” Luna cheered.
“May it forever be a source of frustration and entertainment.”
And with that, the two downed their glasses.
“Speaking of the ignorant masses, there was one other matter of import I had hoped to discuss,” Luna continued. “It is a matter I have been considering for some time, something that I have yet to even discuss with ‘Tia. And as it pertains to you, I wished to pick your brain, as it were, before making any further plans.”
“Okay. Shoot,” Thomas agreed. Although his tone was dispassionate, he was glad to be brought into the loop early for a change.
“Simply put, in spite of some rather unsavory findings while investigating safe medical facilities, it may be time to declassify your origin.”
Thomas regarded Luna in silence for a moment. “Really? Finding out about bad guys, who I’m assuming are basically poachers”—he waited as Luna nodded—“makes you think it’s time to make the rare anomaly even more rare and interesting?”
“Now that we are aware of these unsavory sorts, we know what to look for. The Dream Walkers have already made considerable headway in tracking several common themes in ponies’ sleep, and even Blueblood has compiled quite the list of buyers and sellers of ‘rare creatures’ in the black market. Of course, it will still be a matter of months before these organizations have been properly extinguished, but there is another reason I believe it time Equestria learn from whence you come.”
“And that is?”
“Because the lie is failing,” Luna admitted through pursed lips. “Now that they’ve had the time to think things through, ponies have begun asking questions that the CEI can no longer deflect. Just yesterday, I had gone over a lengthy and eloquent report by a professor. He explained in great detail why, not only is it impossible for a non-magical being such as yourself to have appeared in my chambers as you did, but also how the odds of an entire nation of beings like you existing on Gaia are statistically null and void.” Luna took a long, deep breath. “If the truth is not revealed soon, we run the risk of a more dangerous lie taking root.”
Thomas nodded. What Luna said made sense, but after learning about these bad guys who were still out there, he was more hesitant than if he’d been asked last night. “What about that professor?”
“Nothing harmful,” Luna assured. “He was simply approached and asked politely not to publish his findings until expressly allowed by the crowns. He was also adequately compensated for his silence.”
Thomas smacked his lips together, holding his tongue from making some uncouth remark about corrupt governments. All of this was being done for his protection, and to keep the masses from needless panic. “How will this work, exactly?”
Luna smiled softly. “In stages. I will need to talk with ‘Tia about the particulars, but part of it will involve the crowns commissioning of academics, such as the fore mentioned professor, to publish such works. Then, once the scoundrels have been rounded up, we will ease the masses into the idea of other worlds and benign visitors therein. Knowing sister, she has already lined up a group of writers ready to take her commissions for such stories.”
Thomas’ inner cynic thought propaganda, but he managed to keep that side silent.
“This is far from an urgent matter,” Luna assured. “In addition to waiting until after the vermin have been rounded up, I imagine, if we were to begin now, the earliest we would be ready to make such an announcement would be after the passing of one year, and that is only with your consent.”
Thomas sighed and looked down. “If it’s really down to my choice”—he paused and licked his lips—“then I say it’s simpler just to tell the truth.”
“Huh. It’s for you,” Moonlight informed curiously, eyeing the handful of letters in her hand.
“Me?” Thomas asked. He’d only just gotten his loincloth on. Tonight was a shared night off, and Thomas was at a loss of things to do to pass the time. They’d already gone through their morning routines, including Moonlight refreshing the wards protecting his sensitive skin from minor hazards. Just staying put and writing seemed relaxing. That had always been his go-to back on earth whenever he had a day off, but he wondered if Moonlight wanted to do something else. He didn’t exactly want to go out and, likewise, couldn’t bring himself to ask Moonlight for what he knew was the selfish fear that going out would, in fact, be what she wanted.
“From the Canterlot Royal Science Academy,” she said as the envelope was handed over. “You were expecting this, right?”
“I guess so.” Thomas examined the letter for a moment. It was made of some pretty fancy-looking paper, probably expensive too. The lettering was a fancy cursive that was borderline illegible, but he could still make out his own name. “Fancy name,” he commented curiously.
“It’s one of the top three universities in the city, second only to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.”
“Huh,” replied Thomas noncommittally. He’d started to tear the top of the letter open with his finger, only for it to give a magical jingle and open on its own. He blinked, but decided not to let on how this stuff still caught him off guard sometimes. “Apparently, Luna trusts this place. What’s it like?”
“CRSA is more of a specialist school,” explained Moonlight as Thomas started reading. “CSGU is more of a one-stop shopping for unicorns. They apply in elementary and stay until they get a degree. CRSA is more of a traditional academy, taking in older ponies who already have their cutie marks and gives them a controlled environment to do their research. It’s also easier for non-unicorns to get in.”
“And the third?” Thomas asked distractedly.
“The Canterlot Military Academy,” she informed with a smirk. “I trust I don’t need to explain that one.” She waited a moment to hear his reply, but he was too focused on the letter. His brow had scrunched in a way she didn’t care for, like he wasn’t terribly pleased by what he was reading. “Thomas?”
“There’s a lot of thee’s and thou’s in this, even more than Luna used to use. A lot of flowery self-aggrandizement, too, if that’s the word. There’s this one sentence that goes on for, like, four lines about how great this school is.”
Moonlight pursed her lips and nodded. “Probably a language professor. My sire said those old farts like to go out of their way to make it hard for others to understand them, so they sound smart.” She gave a soft chuckle at the memory, but Thomas remained unamused. “Is there anything that isn’t deliberately difficult?”
Thomas nodded and offered up the letter, pointing at one line in particular. “If I’m reading that right, it sounds like I’m being invited for some sort of research.”
Moonlight leaned in and started reading.
“This isn’t the sort of thing where they, like, take samples and stuff, right?” he asked nervously, recalling how he’d been treated upon first arriving in Equestria. He’d been sealed behind a magical shield in the castle’s medical ward for about three days. Doctors in lab coats questioned him while examining his latest stool samples. At the very least, the actual poking and prodding were kept to a minimum. Thankfully, Luna had been a frequent visitor, helping to keep him grounded with her more lighthearted conversation.
“I sincerely doubt it,” said Moonlight, not sounding terribly confident of her claim. “Best I can translate, they just want to make some ‘passive observations,’” she said like she was making air quotes. “You said that Luna wanted you to get a more thorough checkup, so they’re likely doing this at either her request or allowance. I doubt they’d have the nerve to do anything that might harm a royal concubine, especially not with me there.”
“So… you think I should go?”
“That’s up to you. They sent the letter directly to you instead of through Luna, so this isn’t mandatory. No pony can force you. I’m just letting you know that if you did decide to go, it wouldn’t be alone,” she assured.
Thomas smiled and nodded gratefully.
“We should probably give this to Luna. See what she says before doing anything, just in case.”
**********
At long last, the night of the exam had arrived. The other concubines had wanted to come along for support, but Thomas insisted that he didn’t want to be a bother, so they stayed behind with Luna. The Canterlot Royal Science Academy, or CRSA for short, was quite the sight to behold. The central facility looked like someone had attempted to recreate the Castle of Versailles, complete with extensive gardens that put even Canterlot Castle to shame with their opulence. The surrounding buildings of the campus looked equally decadent, with tall spires, stained glass windows, and a fair number of domes. Construction became more conservative and practical the further one went from the central campus.
“Of all the times I looked out over the city, how have I never noticed this place?” Thomas asked.
“Canterlot Castle and most of the city were built along the mountain’s western face,” Jet Black informed. She was dressed in her full night guard armor, looking as imposing as ever, despite her relatively short height. “CRSA was built on the northern face.”
“It gives a brief history in the brochure,” added Moonlight. She wore only her gauntlets and a few plates along her joints. While she was off duty, she still preferred to let everypony know that she was not one to be trifled with, especially after the briefing Luna had given. “Most of the central buildings were once mansions before being donated to the school.”
“When were we supposed to meet these guys again?”
Even with all her earlier reassurances, Luna had still sent a covert group of guards to sweep the campus for anything and anypony that could conceivably pose a threat the day before.
Moonlight looked up to a large clock tower. “Not for another few hours. Plenty of time to explore the campus.”
After checking the map for some of the more popular sightseeing destinations, Thomas nodded and led the way with Moonlight to his right and Jet trailing close behind.
Once one got over the sheer amount of wealth being shoved in your face, CRSA was pretty typical as far as universities went. Even at night, the paths were thick with the traffic of students, faculty, and visitors going to and fro. Those who actually belonged here could easily be distinguished by backpacks, book bags, or just carrying an armful of binders and paperwork while having their noses buried in books. It was all somewhat refreshing for the human to find himself in a facility of learning once more.
One big difference between this university and those from the human world, however, was the abundance of speakers out in the open. Be it a gazebo, a recently constructed stage, or just out in the grass, ponies of every age, sex, and tribe could be found making their voices heard. Most were just giving what sounded like standard lectures without pushing any sort of obvious agenda. Those trying to advocate for something were mostly embroiled in heated debates while crowds of varying sizes watched.
“Nice to see ponies don’t have free speech zones,” he commented optimistically.
“We don’t?” asked Moonlight. She turned to look over at one area where a pegasus was talking about the necessity for his tribe to return to more traditional values while a unicorn was arguing with him about the dangers of an overly militarized state. She then looked back at Thomas. “How so?”
“Free speech zone is just a nice-sounding way to actually silence speech. So they make these designated zones that are supposed to be for protected speech where the campus can’t interfere to stop things, but they’re always set up way on the outskirts where no one can actually hear what’s being said.”
Moonlight furrowed her brow. “Sounds dangerously authoritarian.”
Jet agreed, though she kept that to herself.
“You have no idea,” Thomas remarked dryly.
“We have zones for speakers to say what they like, but they have to be reserved in advance and come with a small fee,” Moonlight explained. “The best ones, like the gazebo, which gives shade, cost a bit more, but most of the grass areas are fully open to anypony with the time.”
“Neat,” Thomas offered as he looked down at the map.
Most of the buildings were labeled with standard pony names, presumably those who had donated the money to build the buildings in the first place, which also came with subheadings detailing their functions. There was Jade Crest’s Institute for Chemical Research and Page Turner’s House of Historic Preservation.
A quick gust of wind nearly blew the map right out of Thomas’ hands, followed by a blur of movement out of the corner of his eye and an “oof” sound. He looked over at the source of the disturbance and saw Jet holding her hand out while standing in front of a mare stumbling backward.
“Hey! What gives?” complained the mare. She was a unicorn with maroon fur and a three-toned blue mane tied in a bun. She had black glasses and wore a jacket colored the same shade of blue as her eyes. The jacket was mostly open, with the zipper only pulled up by an inch or so, leaving her cleavage largely exposed. It came down to just past her naval, leaving everything below the belt completely bare, including the blue star surrounded by wavy green lines on her flanks.
Thomas blinked, not yet recognizing this new mare as he studied her.
“Apologies, ma’am, but you really should watch where you’re going,” Jet informed curtly. “You were about to run over somepony.”
The maroon mare pushed her glasses up and frowned down at the bat mare. If she’d noticed the guard armor, she didn’t appear phased. Instead, she was more focused on the short male standing just behind the irate guard. “A simple warning would have done fine. You don’t need to go shoving ponies around.”
Jet blinked, not expecting to be spoken back to like this. She didn’t like it. She’d have liked to take a few minutes to teach this uppity student some respect, but decided it wasn’t her job to cause a scene. “Just keep your eyes where you’re going.”
“Hold on a sec,” Moonlight interjected, stepping forward. Her eyes squinted studiously upon this new mare, much to Jet’s irritation. “Soothing Star?”
The maroon unicorn looked up and met the guard’s gaze before her eyes widened in recognition. “Moonlight? Moonlight Shield?”
Before Thomas knew it, Moonlight had abandoned her self-imposed post by his side and ran up to Soothing Star, scooping the petite unicorn up in a fierce embrace.
“Oh, Star! It’s been so long!” Moonlight cheered. Soothing Star, however, was too busy trying to extract herself from the soldier’s bone-crushing arms to return the friendly gesture.
“Star?” Thomas wondered out loud. He shot a questioning glance at Jet, but the bat mare merely shrugged. She was as much in the dark as him. Then, turning back to the one-sided hug, Thomas said to no one in particular, “This should be an interesting story.”
“You’re… crushing… me,” Star squeaked through strained breaths. Her hooves kicked feebly just above the ground.
“Oh!” Moonlight quickly released her grip and let Star drop back to her hooves. “Sorry.”
Star bent forward and pressed a hand to her sternum, trying to recover her breath. “You haven’t changed,” she said with a half-smile.
Moonlight smiled right back. “What’s it been? How long since we last spoke?”
Star, having finally recovered enough, straightened up. “Too long. Oh, but look at you,” she said, gesturing at Moonlight. “You finally made guard. I knew you had it in you.”
Moonlight beamed and gave a small pose for her friend’s adoration. “Naturally,” she bragged. “And what about you? Finally figure out what your cutie mark means?”
Star shrugged. “More or less.” She leaned to the side to peer over Moonlight’s shoulders. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to—”
“Right! Sorry,” Moonlight cut in excitedly and gestured to her companions. “Soothing Star, this is my fellow guard, Jet Black.”
“Charmed,” she said with a polite nod. “Sorry for shoving you.”
“No worries. I probably had it coming,” replied Star with a soft laugh.
“And this is Thomas, Equestria’s one and only human, and my herd stallion.”
“Hey there,” Thomas greeted politely. He was curious to see how this mare would respond as he offered his hand to shake.
Star’s eyes widened. “Human? As in… Princess Luna’s concubine?”
“Senior concubine,” both Moonlight and Thomas corrected together.
Star’s entire body seemed to vibrate with excitement as she beamed at Thomas. “Oh, wow! I am such a big fan!” she declared, sprinting forward and giving the human’s hand a fierce shake. “You must be the luckiest creature alive to serve the Princess of the Night so… intimately,” she said breathily. “I can’t tell you how honored I am to finally meet you in pony.”
Thomas just smiled back, glad that the mare’s grip wasn’t too strong as she continued to shake. “Well, my dad always told me if you get a job you love, you’ll never have to work another day in your life.”
Star squeed happily. “You have to tell me what she’s like,” she demanded. “What’s her favorite food? Is our accounting of the constellations up to par? How’s she getting along with acclimating to the modern era?”
Thomas chuckled nervously and indicated the arm that was still flopping around like a wet noodle.
“Oh, my gosh, sorry!” Star gasped and released her stranglehold.
“Hey, no problem,” Thomas said. He flexed his sore hand as Moonlight came over to check his wrist for herself. “Didn’t know I had fans.” While surprising, this revelation was far more refreshing than that of the poachers.
“Didn’t know?” Star asked in disbelief. “How could you not? Luna worshipers the nation over haven’t stopped talking about you since your mysterious appearance in the castle last year. I know this one professor trying to make a best seller just by compiling all the speculations and fan theories together into one tome.”
Thomas blinked, taken aback. This was certainly news to him. He looked between Moonlight and Jet for clarification.
Moonlight shrugged. “Sorry, but that’s news to me.”
“She specified in the Luna worshipping community,” Jet pointed out. “Such worship is still uncommon in Canterlot, so it makes sense you two would be out of the loop, so to speak.”
“But you’re not?” Moonlight asked, already knowing the answer.
Jet gave a soft, self-assured smile. “There has been varying degrees of curiosity about Sir Thomas all across Equestria for some time. It has mostly waned in the absence of new information, staying strong primarily in the academic and religious communities. The former for the intrigue posed by a new species and culture, and the latter out of curiosity and even a bit of reverence for the one popularly credited for helping pull Princess Luna out of her shell.”
Thomas frowned, deciding not to comment on the more unsavory side of things he’d only just learned about. Instead, he glanced back to check with Moonlight before staring at Star, who looked to still be set on vibrate. “And why not Moonlight?” he asked, pointing at her. “She’s a concubine, too.”
“You are!?” exclaimed Star in disbelief.
Moonlight snorted her amusement. “You don’t have to sound that surprised.”
“Sorry,” chuckled Star. “But, well… You always had your mind set on the military. I just never imagined you as a prostitute, least of all a concubine.”
“Fair enough, but I actually ended up doing both. I’m the personal guard for Luna’s favorite human”—Moonlight nodded in his direction—“and I also offer up my body to ease her marely needs,” she finished with an impish grin.
“Sorry to interrupt”—Thomas began—“but we aren’t keeping you from anything, are we?” He immediately regretted his words, fearful that they might be taken as a desire to end the conversation.
“No, but thanks for asking,” offered Star. “I’m actually free for the next few hours.”
Thomas mentally sighed in relief.
“Free enough to catch up with an old friend over some tea?” inquired Moonlight.
Star perked up at the offer, but quickly turned to check with Thomas.
“I’ve got no complaints. We were just gonna waste time until our appointment, anyway.” It just felt like the right thing to do to give Moonlight a chance to catch up with an old friend.
“Where my ward goes, I go,” added Jet flatly.
**********
The tea house was a quaint place next to the campus’ main library, a blessing to students intending on last-minute study crunches. The ponies and man gave their orders and sat down at one of the tables outside, except for Jet, who stood.
“I think I’m obligated to ask how you two met,” Thomas began.
“Well, the two of us were military brats,” answered Star with a fond sigh as she stared down at her drink. “My family was in Canterlot on my dad’s rotation. So the two of us were in the same school for a while, but never really spoke to each other.”
“Different classes,” Moonlight clarified.
“But then we went to summer camp.”
“I’m pretty sure we were first assigned together on the archery range.”
“I remember,” Star laughed. “We were assigned as partners, even though neither of us could hit a target to save our lives!”
“Not even the one painted up to look like Mr. Straight Shot’s plot!”
The mares shared a laugh at the memory, and Thomas smiled. He suddenly found himself stricken with a desire to learn more about his mare’s past. “What was Moonlight like back then?”
“If you ignored archery or anything ranged, she was easily in the top five in just about all other physical events.”
“Give you three guesses who was top in academic events,” added Moonlight before taking a sip.
“I kept letting you talk me into all those crazy pranks, so I couldn’t have been that smart.”
“Oh?” Jet asked, her ear twitching in interest. “Nothing too disreputable, I hope.”
“If so, Tali’s gonna want a heads up,” Thomas said cheekily.
“We weren’t that bad,” defended Moonlight.
“We? Who said anything about ‘we’?” asked Star. “You’re the one who always took the lead, so I’m shifting full blame onto you.”
Moonlight snorted. “I might have taken the lead, but you came up with way more schemes than I ever did.”
Star shrugged and averted her eyes in guilt. “I was just having fun posing what-ifs. You were the one who got our tent all riled up and prank-happy. It was like you were that little voice in the back of my head, always urging me to do bad things when I should have known better, like an anti-conscience.”
“And yet knowing this, you still kept pitching the juiciest stunts for us to pull,” countered Moonlight with a smirk. “It’s hardly my fault you were so eager to give yourself to my corrupting influence.”
Star turned to face Thomas. “My deepest sympathies.”
In retaliation, an incensed Moonlight gave Star a friendly shove, nearly pushing her right out of her seat. Star responded in kind by leading with her shoulder against Moonlight, getting an unpleasant reminder of the orange mare’s second name in the process as she was swiftly deflected.
“Oh, yeah, Tali’s really gonna get a kick out of this,” commented Thomas as he watched the exchange. “Although, since you made it to the military, I guess you eventually grew out of that stuff.”
“When the camp counselors wrote to our parents, yes,” confirmed Star. “Although I’m fairly certain those old farts must have been exaggerating, because my dame’s letter sounded downright ruthless.”
“Mine said she’d tan my hide until it turned red, permanently,” said Moonlight, sounding like she was bragging. “Also threatened to drag me to school by the ear every day for the next year if I didn’t straighten up.”
“Lucky. My dame said she was going to sell off all my Lonely Hearts novels if the councilors’ next letter had anything less than exemplary comments. I remember she used that exact word. Exemplary.”
The two mares looked across the table at their other companions.
“Don’t look at me,” Thomas laughed. “I was a good kid. Also didn’t even have any friends to misbehave with.”
After a moment of silent peer pressure, Jet decided that there was no harm in caving just a little. “My sire had this… way of looking at me whenever I stepped out of line.” Her tone was foreboding. “Suffice to say; I learned the merits of behaving quite early.”
“Same here,” agreed Star. “After those first letters, we got our act together and started helping our fellow campers prepare for the annual Camp Pinewoods Marathon. That was this big event where teams of ponies competed over dozens of events, physical and mental, to see who would take on that year’s trophy.”
“We also got better about keeping our criminal activities secret,” added Moonlight. She tried hiding her mischievous grin with her drink, but did a poor job.
“Sounds like you two were pretty good friends,” noted Thomas. “Why didn’t you keep in touch?”
Moonlight sighed and stared down at her drink for a second. “It was various things. It happened three years after that first camp. Both our families were called up to different parts of the country. My dame was especially angry, since part of why she became a city guard was so that she wouldn’t have to travel anymore.”
Star stared forlornly into her cup. “It was a crisis involving pirates. Guards all over the country had to be reassigned to make up for regular soldiers going out to sea. The two of us tried to write together, but my sire’s deployments made it especially hard. He kept getting last-minute orders to go all over the place.”
“And while my family eventually made it back to Canterlot”—Moonlight resumed—“there was this weird bureaucratic thing—I don’t know—that changed all the addresses, so it was the same house, but on a different street name.”
“And with my family still moving around”—continued Star as she set a sad gaze on Moonlight—“we just never found each other.” She sighed. “Which is why I’m so happy to see you again.” She pulled her old friend in for a half hug and a cheek rub. “I missed you.”
“You just missed me because I was your heat buddy,” countered Moonlight cheekily.
Were Thomas a pony, his ears would have perked. But since he was merely human, his rising brow was the only sign of intrigue.
“Well, that too,” agreed Star with a giggle. “But I also missed just hanging out. I want to hear about everything that’s happened to you since last we spoke.”
“I think I’ve covered all the major highlights,” commented Moonlight. “Private First Class in the night guard”—she held up her gauntlet—“herded to the sweetest stallion in Equestria”—she shot a smile at Thomas—“and I’m the envy of mares and stallions the world over for my remarkable sexual prowess,” she declared, almost crowing. “Oh, and I also buck a Princess.”
“Aww. I’m so happy for you,” Star cooed indulgently and gave Moonlight a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Sounds like your life’s right on track.”
“And you?” Moonlight asked. “I remember you weren’t quite sure what you wanted to do the last time we spoke.” She looked idly around the campus, as if expecting to find some sort of clue. “Figures you’d be in a university, though.”
Star grinned and took another sip. “You’re right. I still hadn’t figured out what I wanted to do with myself. I mean, I got my cutie mark during a dream that I couldn’t even remember,” she said in exasperation. “I tried all kinds of things, even went to a few councilors, but none could give me a straight answer. It was all just so frustrating,” she growled.
“Was?” Moonlight noted.
Star nodded. “I’m not sure if it’s ironic; maybe more like narratively consistent. But after all that stress and anxiety over a dream, it was actually a dream that set it all straight for me.” She took another sip. “Apparently, dreams are how the Dream Walkers do their recruiting,” she said nonchalantly. “Go figure.”
“The Dream Walkers!?” Moonlight exclaimed while Thomas and Jet watched in silent awe. “You’re a Dream Walker now?”
“Junior rank,” Star clarified, but still looked quite pleased with herself. “That’s actually why I’m here. The guild needs me to be at least moderately adept at alchemy, so they’re helping me pay for some advanced courses over the summer. And with my sessions at the guild, I’ll probably make full membership by the end of the summer.”
“A Dream Walker at your age?” Jet remarked in awe. “That is quite the feat. You must be a remarkably skilled mare.”
Star tilted her head to one side and grinned. “I don’t like to brag… but yes.”
“Just so the ignorant human can keep up,” Thomas interjected. “Dream Walkers are Luna’s assistants when dealing with dreams, right?”
“I wouldn’t have put it so crudely, but yes,” Star affirmed. “We walk through the realm of dreams with the blessing of our Mistress, purging the domain of shadows and other fiends that seek to feed off the negative feelings in ponies’ hearts.”
“So you fight monsters?” Thomas asked, peaking the attention of the other mares at the table.
“Not yet, no. I’m still just a trainee. Right now, all I know about fighting monsters is how to spot the signs of them hiding in somepony’s dreams. If I even get a chill down my back, I’m supposed to bug out and call my squad leader to investigate.”
“What about the person with the monster in their heads?” Thomas asked. “You just leave them there?”
Star pursed her lips. “It’s not ideal, but as bad as some of these creatures can be if left to their own devices, we’re told from day one how much worse it can be if some bull-headed amateur starts a brawl in somepony’s head. It could cause permanent psychological damage, or worse,” she explained grimly before taking another sip. “Besides, even with all that the guild is teaching me, I’m still subpar when it comes to combat. I’m much stronger with my bedside manner, so to speak, so I’ll probably be relegated to handling low-tier, non-monster-related nightmares. But I’d still like to make myself useful in other ways, hence the alchemy classes.”
“Have you developed a knack yet?” Jet asked.
At Thomas’ confusion, Moonlight leaned in to explain. “Alchemy is a highly magical school. Ponies who don’t have an alchemy talent tend to be strong in only one or two kinds of potions. It’s sort of like a secondary cutie mark.”
“Candles, actually,” Star continued. “Turns out I’m not half bad at making special incense candles that heighten a pony’s concentration, a pretty useful skill when about 77% of the job is mental.”
“That’s a pretty exact number,” Thomas noted.
“I had some free time, so I made a little pie chart.”
“Nerd,” Moonlight whispered into her drink.
“So sayeth she of the—”
“Don’t!” Moonlight snarled, but Star only gave a sinister smile back.
“—ass of perfect deflection.”
“Uuuuugh!” Moonlight groaned, slumping in her chair. “I’d hoped you’d forgotten that name.”
Recalling the shield on his mare’s flank, Thomas smiled and hummed his amusement. “Ah. Funny.”
“Please don’t tell Talon,” begged the sullen mare.
“Fine,” Thomas acquiesced. “But can I give Star her mailing address?”
“Sweetest stallion in Equestria, huh?” asked Star, directing her amusement at Moonlight. “No kidding.”
“Eh. I have my moments,” Thomas said with a shrug, ignoring Moonlight’s grumbling.
“Speaking of which, I’m still hoping to learn more about you,” Star said. “Equestria’s one, and only human is still such a fascinating mystery. I’m surprised the Princesses haven’t ordered you to dictate a biography or something.”
“To be honest, I’m still a little skeptical that I’m that big a deal,” Thomas replied. “I was kinda under the impression I was yesterday’s news, ya know.”
“Well, maybe it’s just the circles I walk in these days,” allowed Star. “We’re mostly Luna worshippers, so anything related to the Princess of the Night tends to be a popular topic. You, especially, are quite the curiosity at the guild. Lots of ponies like to have fun speculating about what you must be like and why there’s so much secrecy around you.”
“I trust you’ll respect the royal prerogative of the Princess and not press the matter beyond what is appropriate,” Jet warned.
Thomas pursed his lips. “Apparently, there’s a plan to start declassifying a lot of stuff about me, but that’s still at least a year out. Though between the three of us,” he gestured, “I think we’ll be able to keep each other from saying stuff we shouldn’t.”
“So if questions about you as a human are still iffy,” Star began, “what about something more personal?” She paused as her eyes darted between Thomas and Moonlight. Her eyebrows bounced suggestively. “If you catch my drift.”
Thomas smiled over at Moonlight. He stared at her a moment, doing little more than taking in her beauty, and gave a contented sigh. “You want to tell her, or should I?”
“You’re the storyteller. I think it’d be better if you told it,” she replied.
“Fair enough,” Thomas agreed and faced Star. “Long story short, we were both oblivious victims of nefarious alicorn shipping.”
Star managed to cover her hand over her mouth in time to keep from spraying her drink all over Thomas. She choked and gagged a moment, making a wheezing sound that was almost laughing. “You, erhem, what?”
Even Jet looked like she was straining to keep a straight face.
Moonlight just buried her face in her hands and groaned. “I have only myself to blame.”
“Don’t worry.” Thomas set a hand comfortingly on the mare’s shoulder. “We all blame you.”
Moonlight shook his hand off and gave a muffled scream into her palms.
Star wiped a few tears from her eyes as her breathing evened out. “Okay. Now you have to go into detail!”
“Sure.” Thomas nodded and stared down at his drink a moment, collecting his thoughts. “To start with, I’m not as physically tough as most ponies.” Or emotionally, for that matter. “For that and other reasons, Moonlight was assigned as my personal guard. I’m not exactly the most, shall we say, aware person there is. Add onto that she was in full armor, making it hard to distinguish her from the other guards following Luna and me around all day, and I was honestly not aware of her for about three whole months.”
“That’s actually quite understandable,” commented Star to the surprise of the others. “Most other races say they have a hard time telling ponies apart. Our facial structures tend to be more homogenous compared to others, making our most distinguishing features our colors and cutie marks, which is a bit tricky for foreigners to catch onto. My point is you shouldn’t feel bad about not noticing Moonlight, especially if she failed to give you the courtesy of introducing herself first.”
Moonlight winced at the sharp barb. “I thought I was following protocol,” she said apologetically.
“Of course, you were, deflector,” Star said cheerily, laughing when Moonlight growled. “Anyways, please go on.”
Thomas nodded appreciatively. “Well, it was well after I was inducted as Luna’s senior concubine, not to mention my first day off. So, once we got the initial awkwardness out of the way, we met up with pretty much the only other friend I’d made since coming here. She’s a griffon named Talon, but she likes to go by Tali.”
“Nice to finally hear who you’ve been threatening Moonlight with,” said Star.
“The three of us started hanging out during my off hours and, well, Tali really took charge in helping to show me the parts of Equestria I’d been ignorant about. She started me on this kinda perverted training routine where she taught me a few things about”—he hesitated—“erogenous zones and, uh, how ponies show affection.” He chuckled to himself as he recalled some of the lessons. It was still tricky to talk about this stuff with strangers. However, given that Moonlight wasn’t protesting, he’d yet to break any pony taboos. So it was probably best that he muscled through and learn to accept this new normal. “Really opened my eyes to a lot of things I’d been missing.”
“Hmm, I noticed there wasn’t much of Moonlight in that story,” Star noted dryly.
“To be honest, it wasn’t quite ‘love at first sight’ for us,” Moonlight explained. “I thought he was cute and all, but my primary focus at the time was on being a good guard. The two of us were friends before anything else.”
Thomas nodded his agreement. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“But in hindsight, if I knew then what I know now, I’d like to think I’d have started flirting a lot sooner.”
“Would have definitely simplified things,” Thomas agreed. “That is, assuming captain oblivious over here”—he indicated himself—“would have even noticed.”
When it became apparent he wasn’t about to say anything further, Moonlight accepted her turn. “I really can’t say for certain when I started liking him as more of a friend.” She spun her cup around, watching the liquid slosh. “I suppose it would have been some time after Silver, this new mare, began applying to be a concubine.” She laughed. “It might sound weird, but watching her and Thomas being together, and knowing what they would eventually do, it, well… I guess it started making me a little jealous.”
Thomas frowned at the mare. “First time I’m hearing about this.”
“Because it’s embarrassing,” countered Moonlight defensively. “I had no idea what I was feeling at the time, so I ended up twisting those feelings into something ugly, being passive-aggressive against Silver instead of just coming out and admitting what I wanted.” She hung her head low. “I’m gonna need to apologize to Silver when we get back to the castle.”
“Oh, my. What a development.” Star leaned forward and rested her chin on her palms. “Do go on.”
Thomas sighed. He wasn’t sure how he felt about causing Moonlight such discomfort, even if it had been unintentional. Had she avoided telling him out of embarrassment, or was she walking on eggshells around him again? A part of him wanted to talk it over with her once they were in private, but another, stronger part insisted that it wasn’t worth starting a potential fight and urged him just to drop it. He decided on the latter and continued the story. “Well, I guess I’m with Moonlight in that I’m not too sure when I started having feelings for her, either. We were just super close, and that was how I liked it.” He chuckled. “Little did either of us know that, while we were being dumb, ancient horrors from time immemorial were scheming to—”
Jet cleared her throat in quiet warning.
Thomas smiled apologetically. “Sorry.” And he cleared his throat. “Anyway, as a concubine, I feel it safe to say that the thing that brings alicorns the most joy isn’t sex or friendship, but playing with people like they’re dolls.”
“I’d say it’s more like their favorite hobby,” argued Moonlight. “They’ve also been doing it for so long that they’re pretty much experts.” She laughed and shook her head. “Then again, I can’t exactly argue with their results.”
“Fair point,” Thomas conceded. “See, after a while, I guess we had both basically figured out that we liked one another, but were still unable to actually come out and say it. So the Princesses decided to give us a little push by setting us up on a date to the zoo. One thing led to another, and of all the things we learned, one of them was that the butt of the sun isn’t as good at disguise as she thinks she is.”
**********
Meanwhile, in Celestia’s room, the formerly sleeping alicorn of the sun sat up with a start, sending many unsuspecting concubines flying as if launched from a catapult. “Heresy!” she proclaimed, not entirely certain what had prompted this outburst. All she knew was that somepony somewhere had issued a declaration of war, which she intended to accept.
**********
Star laughed. “From what the other ponies at the guild have said, somehow that doesn’t surprise me.”
**********
“The treason has been doubled!” Celestia added, still not fully cognizant while her concubines groaned in tired annoyance. Some even muttered how this sort of thing happened entirely too often.
**********
“Anyway, disguises aside, she did give us both the kick in the pants we needed to finally come clean with each other,” Thomas continued. “Then, after an encounter with a bird that likes to make ponies horny, the two of us were teleported back to Luna’s room, and…” he trailed off as he lost himself in Moonlight’s eyes.
“Aww. That’s so sweet,” cooed Star.
Moonlight nodded. “For a while, yes. Then Luna and Tali showed up and decided to scare us half to death with threats of dereliction of duty.”
“Oh, dear,” gasped Star in worry.
Thomas laughed and shook his head, pressing his fingers to his forehead. “To be fair, I’m pretty sure you” —he said to Moonlight—“were the one who started saying that stuff about doing wrong, and they just kinda went with the setup. And I certainly didn’t know, so I just assumed you knew something I didn’t.”
Moonlight chuckled as well. “I’m sorry, but my head wasn’t exactly screwed on straight at the time.”
“Didn’t help that Silver was in the same boat as us and started apologizing on our behalf.”
“Yet it was awfully brave of her to do that, even if she did call us ‘perpetrators,’” Moonlight reminisced. “I was especially moved when you stood up for me.”
Thomas averted his grinning face from the beaming mare. He kept pulling away each time she tried pushing herself into his line of sight, which only encouraged her to encroach further. “I just figured, between the two of us, she’d be the least angry at me; ya know, assuming we’d actually done something wrong.”
Moonlight had encroached so far into Thomas’ personal space that, had she let go of the table, she’d have fallen on him. “It was still very brave of you to stand up for me like that.” She planted a kiss on his lower jaw. “If I had any doubts left that you were the stallion for me, that was the moment they all died.”
The mare and man went silent for a long moment. They simply stared at one another while remaining in their awkward leaning position until Star lost her patience.
“And then what?”
Thomas looked questioningly at Moonlight, wondering if it was alright to tell this next part, and she nodded. “Well, after a good while of playing up just how guilty we were for, well, going at it in her room, Luna eventually tells us that the only way we can ‘atone for our transgressions,’” he said in an overly posh imitation of the night alicorn, “was basically for us to have a threesome.”
Thankfully, Star had already set her drink down, because now she looked like she was struggling not to vibrate right out of her seat. “That may be the most romantic story I’ve ever heard.”
“Really?” Thomas asked skeptically.
“As a reader of Lovely Hearts, trust me when I say what you just described puts most of their love scenes to shame.”
“I can confirm this,” Moonlight added. “I’ve only read the first three books, but their love scenes were quite… stimulating.”
Thomas laughed. Still weird how easy it is for everyone to talk about porn in the open.
“Come to think of it, why are you here, anyway?” Star asked.
“Long story short, I’m in need of a super checkup,” Thomas answered plainly.
Unfortunately, Star had to head off to her next class, so she said her goodbyes and teleported away.
“Wasn’t there something other than the checkup?” Thomas directed his question at Jet. “I could have sworn there were other things.”
“There were.” Jet pulled out a list. “Apart from your checkup, Princess Luna recommended a few additional appointments. Although, these are purely optional.”
Moonlight peeked over Jet’s shoulder. “No wonder she recommended we come so early.”
“Well, what’s first?” Thomas asked. “It sounds like Luna had something specific in mind.”
Luckily, there was just enough time for the group to meet the first appointment.
Thomas paused just in front of the door and looked at the sign on the side. ‘Combat Magic 102 with Professor Sizzle Snap.’ “Luna really wanted us here?”
Moonlight checked the list of appointments. “This is definitely the right spot, though I don’t know what she expects us to get from listening in on a lecture. The CMA already taught me all there is to know on the matter.”
“The CRSA tends to focus more on the theoretical side of things, at least in the early stages,” noted Jet. “Likely, we are expected to consider the ideas being presented. For now, we should simply be patient and accept the free lesson.”
Moonlight nodded. “Now that you mention it, Luna is probably trying to teach us a lesson. Well”—she glanced down at Thomas—“most of us.”
Jet inspected the note on the door. “The guest lecturer is Subtle Tear. She’s presenting on new, creative ways to use magic,” she questioningly read.
“Well, that should be interesting, at least,” Moonlight replied. Then, with nothing else to say, the group entered.
The class was tiered like an auditorium, with the back rows elevated to allow equal viewing of the presentation stage at the bottom. It was packed to the brim, with many attendees being forced to stand. Strangely enough, there were actually two seats reserved in the back for Thomas and Moonlight. Jet, meanwhile, opted to stand. Students of all sorts were chatting amongst themselves, few even noticing the latest additions to their pack of sardines. A dark violet unicorn with a pink mane – presumably Sizzle Spark – sat at her desk and filed papers, seemingly no different than any other attendee. It was only a few more minutes before Subtle Tear, an aqua unicorn with a green mane that hung down to her rear, came out. Two other unicorns in white vests flanked her. The class went respectfully silent as she took the podium, and those in the vests began setting something up on the wall behind her.
“Welcome, all,” she greeted with polite bluntness. “There’s been a lot of buzz about this lecture. I’m sure most of you are only attending as part of some extracurricular assignment or the like. From what I gather, your professors have been talking up this presentation quite a bit. You’d almost think they knew what they were talking about.” There was a low murmur from the audience.
“That’s right. This new approach to magic is so new that almost no pony knows what it even is,” Subtle explained with a wicked gleam in her eye. “Most of you, I imagine, consider yourselves quite well versed in the basic theory of combat magic.” She spied a raised hand and gave a dismissive motion. “Save all questions ‘til I’m done talking. This is university, ponies! Anyway, while none of you likely plan on transferring to CMA, this lecture will hopefully help you think of new, innovative ways of using your magic.”
Subtle lit her horn, and a curtain descended behind her, covering most of the back wall. “This curtain has been laced with a semi-reflective coating, ideal for holding projections of light. The core of this presentation is actually quite simple. My assistants and I”—she gestured to the ponies in white vests waving from either side of the presentation platform—“are going to project a short clip of two skilled wizards engaging in a, shall we say, specialized duel. The goal of which will be to defeat their opponent using only transformation magic, and only using the shapes of creatures with low-tier magical ability.”
Thomas frowned. Alarm bells were already going off in his head, but… “No. There’s no way,” he whispered.
“Now, before we begin, I’d like to first test your thinking on the matter,” Subtle continued as she scanned the auditorium. “This is an open question, so feel free to answer if you think you know what you’re talking about. Let’s see here. Now, given the parameters of the duel that I’ve just provided, what would be your response if your opponent turned into something like a tiger?”
Many hands were raised, but Subtle picked a red stallion to stand. “When employing transformation magic, the simplest approach is to pick a shape as close to your own as possible to mitigate the risk of overexertion. That said, if I’m facing something like a tiger, I suppose I’d change myself into a bear to counter it.”
“A bear?” Subtle asked, not sounding pleased.
“Yes. Probably a polar bear, since they’re so much stronger. One transformation shouldn’t be too much of a strain, and I’d be able to defeat my opponent with only a single blow.”
Subtle tapped impatiently at her podium. “Is that it?”
“Sorry?”
“You’d face a large predator with a slightly larger predator, reducing yourself to a mere brawler?”
“Uh…”
“I’ll bet you haven’t been in a real fight since primary school. Even if you’re physically stronger, a skilled combatant will beat an unskilled opponent almost every single time. With that kind of thinking, you’ve basically lost before the match can even start.”
“I don’t—”
“Just sit down!” Subtle commanded in annoyance, and the stallion complied. Then, pinching the bridge of her nose, she went on to ask, “Can somepony give me an answer that doesn’t make me question the future of our nation with you lot paving the way?” Despite her imploring, most hands went down, save for a few. “Alright, you. You’ve got nerve at least.”
A tan mare stood. “Instead of matching my opponent pound-for-pound, I think I would bypass their strength with venom.”
“Oh?”
Heartened, the mare smiled. “Given the limitations of low-tier magical creatures, I would go for an especially venomous snake.”
Subtle nodded. “Well, it at least has the pretense of creativity. But tell me, assuming that your snake fangs are able to breach the thick hide of a tiger, what will you do in the span of minutes it takes for the venom to take effect?”
“Um…”
“While your fangs have effectively locked you in place, you’re completely at the tiger’s mercy. Your head is bitten off before you can even blink. Though your tiger opponent may die eventually, they still win by merit of living longer than you.”
“But I—”
“Sit!” And she did. “Anypony else want to give it a shot?”
This time the mare was yellow. “If I were a bird, let’s say a hawk, I could—”
“Try to scratch their eyes out, only to die from the force of a paw swipe, or fly away like a coward,” Subtle cut her off. “Neither option actually wins the duel. Ugh. Is there anypony with a creative bone in their body?” Even more hands fell, leaving almost none. However, to the surprise of all, one hand went up. “Yes. You in the back.”
Jet, standing at attention, lowered her hand. “Where is this duel taking place?”
“Come again?”
“I may not have magic, but the terrain is a critical factor for any kind of combat. Without knowing what kind of surroundings I’m dealing with, I don’t think your question can be answered.”
Several students dismissively scoffed. What business did a non-unicorn have commenting on anything magical? Moonlight was kicking herself for not thinking of that sooner, while Thomas was still in a mild state of denial.
Subtle, however, looked especially annoyed as she tapped away at her podium. She and Jet locked eyes for a moment, seemingly staring each other down. The students awaited some sort of rebuke, castigating the bat mare for speaking out of turn or at least to tear apart her proposal. Instead, her answer was largely unexpected. “Well, you failed to take away my hope for the future,” she began bluntly. “I ask a question about active magic, the kind that can generally only be used by a horn, and the one pony who actually knows what she’s talking about isn’t even a unicorn.” She paused to turn a stare of intense parental disapproval upon the assembled students. “Are you proud of yourselves for this accomplishment?” Most everypony hung their heads low, while Jet gave a subtle grin.
“Always be mindful of your environment,” Subtle asserted. “This is true of all advanced spellcraft, including alchemy. The slightest miscalculation of moisture in the air or an unnoticed change in air pressure could easily cause your spell to invert on itself and, at best, knock you on your ass. But because this lecture isn’t meant to do the thinking for you, we’ll be keeping things relatively simple.” She motioned to her assistants, who all lit their horns and cast a projection of light upon the curtain.
A scene took shape, and Thomas’ denial was about used up as he beheld the familiar wasteland.
“What we have is an unremarkable desert,” Subtle explained as she motioned to various details on display. “Long dead trees and animals. It’s night, and the sky is overcast, so the light is negligible at best. The ground is hard and cracked. It probably hasn’t seen any rainfall in some time. This is the environment where our duelists will demonstrate their mastery of the ancient and profound magical arts… by trying to beat the shit out of one another.” A number of ponies snickered in surprise. “Now then, let’s see who we’re dealing with.”
From the left side of the screen – because that was what it had become – a blue unicorn stepped forward. He was clearly aged, wore spectacles, a blue wizard’s hat, and his white beard hung down past his knees. To most, he looked as though Starswirl had accidentally turned himself from gray to blue. And from the right, a reddish-pink mare entered the scene. She was shorter, a bit frumpy, and had an unkempt pink mane.
“For the sake of simplicity, we’ll be calling this blue fellow Merlin. His opponent is Mim,” Subtle introduced. “Now, what can you tell me about these two?”
Thomas observed the figures on the screen miming as they awaited their instructions. Merlin was fumbling about through a satchel, sputtering to himself as he clumsily dropped several scrolls. He leaned down to pick them up, only to realize he had his back to Mim and quickly jumped to ratify that mistake. Mim cackled madly as she crept around, clearly trying to create distress in the frazzled old man.
“Yes, you,” Subtle indicated another student.
“Both look old. Age is often a tradeoff for advanced spellcraft. You’re more knowledgeable and experienced, but your body starts to fail you. Merlin probably knows more, but if he doesn’t remember, then Mim probably has the advantage.”
“Finally, a student who actually managed to learn something. Anything else? Yes.”
“Mim wants this. I get the feeling that these two have some sort of history. Merlin’s more reluctant to fight, so Mim’s aggression will also be to her advantage.”
“Very good. One more. Let’s see here. Who have I not…? You.”
Moonlight couldn’t help herself. She’d also recognized the scene in play and decided to show off her foreknowledge. “Merlin keeps looking worriedly at those birds up in the tree,” she pointed out. “Mim is eager, and Merlin is reluctant, but from the look of things, it is because Merlin is doing this out of obligation. I think he’s trying to defend the birds from Mim.”
Subtle nodded. “And?”
“Merlin needs to be strong right now. Mim only wants to be strong. I think that makes a difference.”
“Nice one,” Thomas whispered.
“Spoken with the wisdom of experience, no doubt. Alright. Let’s get on with it.” Subtle lit her own horn, adding her own light to the mix as the scene unfolded and the duelists faced off.
Mim began by restating the rules from earlier, elaborating that other forms of magic were forbidden while the birds, which could apparently talk, observed with overt distrust. Sure enough, as the two turned around and began marching in opposite directions, Mim winked away, only to reappear as an alligator on its hind legs that nearly snapped Merlin’s head off. Instead, he disappeared in a trail of sparkles into his hat.
Thomas allowed himself a smile as most of his attention was on the students. Apparently, breaking the rules as Mim had done was highly uncouth among spell casters, and they weren’t shy in their criticisms. Likewise, neither were they too kind when Merlin’s answer to the alligator reaching into the hat was to bite her finger as a turtle. This was called a desperate, careless move, and one that was literally about to come back and bite him as he fled as fast as his turtle legs would carry him.
Merlin only narrowly avoided the gator’s jaws as a hare, only to resume fleeing when Mim turned into a fox. The birds tried to ‘help’ by shouting suggestions, but they couldn’t offer anything specific. At the same time, many students had already written off the match as over. Foxes were roughly as fast as hares, and the distance between them was closing quickly. So Mim choosing the natural predator of her opponent was an obvious move. But then Merlin fled into a dead, hollowed-out tree.
As a little blue Merlin caterpillar inched its way out of a tiny hole atop the tree, Jet allowed herself a sense of vindication. Clever use of the terrain had allowed one of the unicorns to narrowly avoid certain doom.
While Merlin tried catching his breath, Mim managed to spot him and, once more, turned into her opponent’s natural predator. The round little hen cackled and clucked, taunting Merlin to come down to within her reach. She bit his backside, but it seemed as though he’d taken her earlier creative license with the standing alligator as an excuse to increase his own durability. Mim tried to yank him off a branch, only to send him flying straight up. Mim awaited down below, mouth wide open and confident in her victory.
Thomas kept his ears open for the audience’s chatter and was beginning to get an idea of what this lecture was for. Subtle said that this was to teach creative uses of magic. This seemed increasingly necessary as, yet again, not a single student had any idea of how Merlin could escape his inevitable doom.
The big fat blue walrus plopping down on the tiny bird caught everyone by surprise. Some were even laughing at the absurdity of it all. Then, as if in response to the first student called upon, Mim matched big with bigger as an elephant. She wasn’t a natural predator this time, but the world’s largest land mammal could trample just about anything she wanted. More so, it was clear that she was starting to get agitated with all of her near misses and Merlin starting to fight back.
Then Merlin, in complete contrast to the expected escalation of size, became a mouse. He wasn’t a natural predator, but the choice of his opponent animal’s natural weakness and sending her fleeing in fear earned him much praise from the audience. Alas, this victory was short-lived. After fleeing for only a second, Mim came charging back as an obese tiger. Once more, she showed blatant disregard for the capabilities of the chosen animal shapes and ran on her hind legs with the intent of squishing Merlin as he’d done her. He fled into a hole and reemerged nearby, ready to bite her tail, only for Mim to resume her strategy of selecting natural predators by picking a rattlesnake.
And again, Merlin relied on wits over brute strength to evade certain death, tricking Mim into biting her own tail. He then fled down a different hole in the dirt with her in close pursuit. When Mim caught up with him, he nearly snapped her head off with an absurdly large crab claw, only for her to retreat. This went on for a bit like a brief game of wack-a-mole before Mim erupted out of the ground as a mighty rhino. She was clearly angered beyond reason, seemingly taking Merlin’s audacity to fight back as some form of personal insult. With the crab atop her face, she didn’t think twice about charging into a nearby tree to smash him to paste, not bothering to notice that the tree was on the edge of a cliff.
This time the students actually had some ideas. First, Merlin should jump for safety, which he did. Second, based on her reckless speed and the decayed state of the tree, the students accurately predicted that Mim would get herself stuck. One student even suggested a ram before Merlin took the form and charged. He head-butted the red rhino with all his might, dislodging the tree and sending her plummeting what should have been a fatal distance into the swamp below.
And then, in what should have been a shock to no one, Mim cheated yet again and became a dragon. Merlin was so shocked that he could barely rebuke her for this breach of rules. Worse, just as with the mouse and the elephant, all his animal forms had a natural fear of dragons. His only option was to run. The sheer enormity of Mim’s legs meant that she could close the distance in no time. And when Merlin tried to hide in a hole, she just blew fire until he was forced to flee back into the open, where he was immediately caught in her mighty claws. Mim fell back on her obese dragon butt and cheered, shaking her claws wildly in what was, without a doubt, her certain and absolute victory.
Then the sound faded just a little as Subtle’s horn dimmed while her assistants maintained the paused projection. “Now, before we finish, does anypony have any idea what happens next?”
It was obviously a trick question. By the very fact that the lecturer was asking, surely Merlin would win. Mim had employed brute force, which Subtle had been so critical of earlier. So it was only logical that Merlin would win out against strength with wit, just as he’d been doing. But how? The students discussed fervently amongst themselves. A dragon of that size could only be defeated by a small army or another dragon, both of which seemed to contradict Subtle’s point. So, what clever trick could Merlin use to end this duel in his victory?
Subtle sighed her disappointment. “If no pony can think of anything, I’ll just have to ask the one who provided this scenario in the first place.” When the audience could only provide a confused clamor, Subtle motioned to the very back of the hall. “Thomas, do you have any thoughts?”
Jet tensed, though she managed not to look it. Him? This whole lecture on teaching creative use of magic was based on one of his ideas; human ideas?
Put on the spot, Thomas appreciatively nodded when Moonlight took his hand. He stood, trying to ignore everyone’s eyes and just focus on Subtle. It didn’t seem right just to give away the answer, as she clearly wanted these students to try and come up with something on their own. So he opted for a clue. “Size isn’t everything,” he began. “Sometimes, the tiniest creatures can bring down things infinitely bigger than themselves. They just have to attack from the bigger thing’s weak point.”
Understanding his intent, Subtle nodded. “And does anypony have any idea where that weak point might be?” She waited. “Anypony? Anypony at all?”
“Uh, from inside?” offered a hesitant student.
“Inside what?”
“Th-the dragon. He could attack from inside the dragon.”
“How? Is he supposed to use his little mouse teeth to bite her tongue?” Subtle irately demanded. Then she saw Thomas raise his hand again. “Something more to add?”
“This isn’t the final answer, and I’m not sure this would even work with conservation of mass or whatever, but he waits until he’s in her throat and becomes an elephant.” That caused many students to wince.
“Assuming he isn’t first chomped to death, that would actually be an effective strategy,” Subtle admitted. “Does anypony else want to try for the true answer before I just give it to you?” When no more hands raised, Subtle relit her horn and resumed the scene.
Mim had just opened her claws, ready to gloat and taunt her opponent before his imminent demise, but he wasn’t there. Merlin spoke, but insisted that he wasn’t invisible. He claimed that he was tiny, forcing Mim to search her body for a gnat or something. However, Merlin elaborated that he was a germ, a very virulent strain that all but Thomas recognized, “And you caught me, Mim!”
There came the sounds of several face-palms as the students finally got it. Many said that they should have guessed as much. Some bragged that they knew the answer all along, but wanted to give the others a chance. All watched as the dragon succumbed to the symptoms of the disease, weakening, changing color, and soon she was unable to lift herself upright. Finally, the germ took its toll, and the scene came to an end.
Subtle cleared her throat, drawing all attention back to herself. “The application of magic has become disgracefully stale in recent years. The orthodox of spellcraft has become too rigid, despite boasts of encouraging creative thinking. Too many spells are wrongfully thought of as natural counters to others, reducing the complexity of spellcraft to rock paper scissors. Worse, too many unicorns believe the solution to problems is just to increase the power, working harder instead of smarter. Mim, as we just saw, represents this stagnant form of thinking, preferring to choose what seem to be natural counters over any other strategy. For example, no pony following orthodox thinking would consider using a crab to fight a snake. However, in these specific circumstances, this choice proved exceptionally effective. Had Merlin been a bit younger or more aggressive, he’d have surely come out on top much more quickly than we just witnessed. Not to mention that he played on his enemy’s emotions. I trust I don’t need to point out that anger clouds one’s judgment. So, by keeping a cool head, Merlin was able to take advantage of Mim’s reactive strategy and—as you saw—conceive more innovative transformations outside the standard predator/prey dynamic.”
Subtle elaborated on her desire to use these new ideas to revitalize magical theory and application, but Thomas was only half listening. His mind had once more wandered off to consider the differences between ponies and humans. The physical and cultural differences were more than obvious, but was there more to it than that? Could the two species also be different on a neurological level? The students’ inability to think past Mim’s methods could result from the current teaching methods stagnating. That would be a cultural issue. He’d consumed plenty of media in his life featuring the deadliness of disease, not to mention the general narrative of small things taking down big things. Even if he hadn’t seen the clip before, he’d have probably guessed something similar. His suggestion about the elephant in the throat had also gone over everyone’s heads until he’d said it. All of these things pointed to a mere difference in culture, yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was still more that he didn’t understand.
Jet was silently fuming as Subtle went on. The very idea of employing human ways of thinking to improve pony practices was fundamentally offensive. Worse, when she tried to give structure to her thoughts, formulating a hypothetical argument to persuade her peers, every word just made her sound petty and pathetic. Many commanders had made their mark on history by employing the tactics of their enemies to even greater effect. She further considered how other such ideas were born in other nations, migrated to Equestria where they were refined, only to be sent back to their birth nations better than ever. At its core, cultural exchange was a good thing. Learning the ways of thinking of your allies, rivals, and even enemies could only be called an act of pure wisdom.
And yet, Jet was unable to shake the feeling of personal insult at the notion of adopting human ideas, even if heavily filtered through the lens of pony thinking. Humans had no magic of their own, after all. The stories he’d told were just that: works of fiction made by different writers with varying and often contradictory interpretations of how magic worked. Was it frustration she was feeling rather than offense? No. No, it was definitely both.
Jet internally groaned as she imagined reporting these feelings to Firestorm. He’d chide her, and he’d be right to do so. Wary vigilance was one thing, but hating humans and their ideas was entirely pointless. If this scene had come from Thomas, it could have only made it to this room through the Princesses. They’d seen this bit of human art and saw fit to use it to the benefit of Equestria’s young academics. The Princesses were rarely wrong, and imagining their stamp of approval certainly helped to ease the bat mare’s nerves on the matter. Yet her sense of contempt for the human, this one specific little creature in arm’s reach, remained steadfast.
Moonlight had also concluded that this clip had come down through the Princesses, though her way of thinking was more benign. She imagined Luna and Celestia in a private meeting. They’d be discussing current events and whatnot until the topic came up. Then, they’d have a back and forth, consider the creativity of the work, and decide that students like these would benefit from exposure to alien forms of thought. She smiled over at Thomas, hoping he felt proud of himself for contributing something like this to the sciences.
Thomas had reached the same conclusion as Moonlight, only to chuckle. “So, they’re using human ideas to inspire ponies?” he asked his mare.
“That’s how it looks,” Moonlight observed.
“Neat.”
“Is that all you have to say?” questioned Moonlight.
“Well, she”—Thomas motioned to Subtle—“has a point. Outside the box thinking can be super useful, and this was a pretty straightforward way to show it off.” He chuckled. “Back home, we had some really dumb classes that would spend the entire semester discussing the ‘cultural impact’ of popular media, but it was just a do-nothing course,” he recounted dismissively. “It’s kinda funny that ponies are basically doing the same thing, only it’s actually useful.”
As Jet listened, she felt simultaneously annoyed and vindicated.
“Hey, you,” whispered a nearby pony. It was the tan mare who’d proposed venom against the tiger. “You came up with this?”
“I brought the story,” Thomas corrected.
“It sounds like this’ll be a big focus for the rest of the semester. Got any tips?”
Thomas shrugged. “Sorry.”
“But this is your idea,” the mare stressed in annoyance.
“No, someone else came up with it. I just retold it, and someone else decided to form a lecture around it,” Thomas explained, noting how Moonlight was leaning into his space while fixing her attention on the other mare.
“Even so, you—”
“Am I interrupting?” Subtle sternly cut in. “It sounds like you in the back are having quite the interesting chat. Care to share with the rest of the class?”
The tan mare cleared her throat. “I-I was just asking our esteemed guest—”
“Kiss ass,” someone muttered.
“—if he could elaborate on a few matters,” the mare finished, sounding almost apologetic.
“Hmm. Well, Mr. Thomas?” inquired Subtle. “I’m also curious on that front. Got anything else you can share to help the ignorant masses understand?”
“Honestly, not really.”
“Interesting,” Subtle noted. “I was led to believe this was a story from your youth. If not you, then surely others must have reflected on the nuances of the matter.”
“Sort of,” Thomas allowed. “It’s like you said, where the point is to outthink your opponent. However, if you want something that could be useful in combat, I can’t really think of anything. See, humans don’t have magic.” His words triggered skeptical and even annoyed murmurs through the audience, agitating Moonlight. “We just kinda make things up. I’ve read dozens of stories that feature magic systems. That’s where the writer makes up their own rules, costs, benefits, limitations, and all that stuff. No two systems are exactly alike, and a system is considered good if it makes sense and seems balanced within its own story.”
Subtle nodded. “In other words, humans have no orthodox in magical thinking, thereby enabling freethinking.”
“I guess that’s true,” Thomas agreed. “Oh, if you want some outside-the-box thinking, you should try game designers.”
“Explain,” Subtle said bluntly, but not impolitely.
“Like Ogres and Oubliettes. I’ve never played, but that’s all about strategy and imagination. Maybe you could even get some non-ponies together to come up with a similar system with different rules,” Thomas uncertainly suggested.
Subtle exhaled. “Of all the idiotic ideas I’ve heard in my life, that was not the worst.” She pulled out a pencil and notepad and started writing. “Unicorns are practically instructed from birth on the fundamentals of magic. While necessary, this practice has encased our thinking in annoyingly sturdy boxes. Your average unicorn can only think of what magic is. A non-unicorn, and especially a non-pony, would be more likely to ask what magic could be. Most questions will be stupid, as is their nature, but I suspect that plenty will be worth considering. Thank you, Mr. Thomas. You’ve given me another lead to track down.”
At the lecture’s conclusion, many students crowded Thomas to pick his brain on the lesson, instantly making him uncomfortable. Luckily, the two guards demonstrated that their titles weren’t just for show and kept the ignorant masses at bay. Equally luckily, most students were sufficiently dissuaded once they noticed the guard armor, so Moonlight didn’t need to bring out her signature shield. Even so, the mare pair hurried Thomas down the least crowded hall until they reached an open, but lightly crowded indoor space. It appeared to be a common area with numerous tables, so Moonlight picked one of the smaller ones for Thomas to sit while she and Jet remained on alert.
“Are you okay?” Moonlight asked.
Thomas took several steadying breaths as his heart rate calmed. “Yeah. J-just not used to being mobbed,” he said with a half-hearted chuckle. “That was something, though.”
“Indeed,” agreed Jet. “They seemed quite intrigued with your lesson.”
“Hey, it wasn’t my lesson,” Thomas corrected. “It was just a fun segment from a movie I saw as a kid. It’s the academics who made a lesson out of it.”
“True. However, whether you like it or not, your contribution was undeniable,” Jet reminded. “I was particularly intrigued by your suggestion at the end. Having non-ponies construct fictional magical systems is inspired, to say the least.”
Thomas pursed his lips. “I’m almost certain I heard that from someone else.”
“A pony?” Jet asked.
“Probably not.”
“Then, as far as anypony can tell, the idea came from you,” Jet flatly stated as she studied Thomas’ expression. “Does that make you uncomfortable?”
Moonlight’s expression said it’s about time you noticed as she put her hand on Thomas’ shoulder.
“A little,” Thomas admitted. “I guess… Everyone fantasizes about being famous. There’s a bunch of stories of how fame actually makes people miserable, but people are still swept up by the spectacle of the thing. I-I guess I just figured that if I ever became famous, it’d be for something I did, not for passing on someone else’s ideas.” He slumped in his seat and stared down at the table.
Moonlight frowned at her stallion’s intolerable state. “Well, where’d the idea come from?”
“Huh?”
“The Sword in the Stone. That was the movie the clip came from, right? Well, who made it? If you don’t want to take credit for somepony else’s work, then give credit where credit is due. We’re at a university, so cite your sources.”
Thomas smiled appreciatively. “That’d be great, but I don’t really know who. These clips all come from my memories, and I never focused on the credits, so I don’t know who did what, only the company that produced it. Besides, the movie is based on a legend that’s over a thousand years old, and people can only guess how it started, let alone all the people who made changes over the years.”
“So, if I follow correctly, there is nothing you can do to credit a virtually untraceable source?” inquired Jet.
Thomas chuckled mirthlessly. “Sounds about right.”
“Then why worry?” asked the bat mare. “If it is something outside of your control, then fretting about it achieves nothing.”
“She’s right,” Moonlight agreed. “Don’t you like to say that you’re the architect of your own misery? No matter what bad things happen that you can’t control, the thing you can always control is how you react to it.”
Thomas lifted his head and stared ahead at the common area as ponies milled about. “Ya know what, you’re right.”
“I’m your mare. I’m obligated to be right,” Moonlight beamed.
“If these ideas help, then they help. It doesn’t actually change anything if ponies miscredit me or not. I didn’t even know about this place until you brought me here.”
“Forgive me for speaking out of turn,” Jet began. “However, I doubt that Princess Luna sending you to that lecture was done in malice.”
“She’s right,” Moonlight agreed again. “Luna probably wanted to cheer you up and show that you’re doing more good than you may realize.”
Thomas allowed himself a smile and rested his hand over Moonlight’s. “It’s still weird, but you’re right. Think she’ll be mad if we skip the other suggestions?”
“I’m sure she’ll understand,” assured Moonlight. “Still, we’re at a prestigious university. It seems a shame to visit without learning something. Plus, it’s still a while before your appointment, and I know you hate being bored.”
“True,” Thomas agreed as he reclined in his seat and stared thoughtfully up at the ceiling. Then, just as he was about to give a suggestion, a familiar face returned.
“Funny bumping into you guys again,” Star greeted.
“Star! Good to see you,” Moonlight replied while sticking to Thomas’ side. “How was class?”
“Not great. My degree requires credits in history, but the professors are all so dull. I swear, this guy actually fell asleep a few times in his own lecture,” Star bemoaned.
“Funny,” Thomas remarked. “Isn’t history class just the bullet points of all the most relevant and interesting things that led up to us being here? Seems almost like an accomplishment to fall asleep while you’re talking.”
“Well, professors like to think of themselves as experts, and this one is definitely proficient in that field,” Star joked and then groaned. “What’s worse is that I could have skipped this class and missed nothing. There’s a guest speaker that I really want to see, but my schedule makes it impossible. Maybe you’ve heard of her. She’s Subtle Tear, and she’s—”
“Giving lectures on creative uses of magic?” Thomas finished.
“Uh, yes. How’d you know?”
“Guess where we just came from,” the human replied.
Star’s eyes lit up as she pulled up a chair, set her supplies to the table’s side, and sat across from Thomas, only for her ears to splay when she looked up at Jet’s aggressive posturing. “Whoa, easy there. I’m a friend, remember?”
“Yeah, calm down,” Moonlight chided.
“She’s a friend of a friend, so she’s cool,” Thomas agreed, finally getting the bat mare to relax.
“Still, you ought to ask first,” Jet gently reminded.
Star nodded. “Noted. Anyway, what can you tell me about the lesson? I heard that Subtle is super eccentric.”
“That’s not the word I’d use,” Thomas countered. “More like she’s dripping with ‘I’m too good for this place’ energy. Just about everyone she called on didn’t meet her standards, so she put them down.”
Star chuckled. “Sounds fun. Was it warranted, though? I mean, did she know what she was talking about?”
“Moreso than the students,” Moonlight answered. “Want us to give you the cliff notes?”
“Please and thank you,” Star replied with a grateful nod.
So, Thomas and Moonlight ran through the presentation’s premise, each transformation, and some of Subtle’s more noteworthy remarks, all while omitting the parts about Thomas. They stopped just as the dragon caught the mouse.
“Subtle paused the lecture to ask the audience how they’d get out of that mess,” Moonlight explained. “Out of curiosity, what would you do?”
“Well, my transformation ability is virtually nonexistent,” Star admitted. “However, assuming I had some specialized mana crystals to do the heavy lifting for me, I don’t think I’d have gotten that far.”
“How so?” Moonlight asked.
“Well, Mim cheated from the start. After that, all bets are off. Assuming I already knew that she was the sort of pony who cheats, I’d have planned ahead and brought some sleeping potions. I’m good at those.”
“Clever,” Jet praised.
“Well, what if there isn’t time to make any potions?” Moonlight asked.
Star beamed and fished around in her materials until she pulled out a corked test tube with a clear pink liquid inside. “Enchanted, so it doesn’t break by accident, only by intent,” she bragged. “Never leave home without it.”
Jet didn’t say that she liked this mare, but her expression probably betrayed her thoughts.
“Alright, but what if you’re both completely naked, so there’s nowhere to hide any potions?” Moonlight added.
Star chuckled. “It might not be dignified, but I’d slip it in my butt when she isn’t looking.”
“That’s gross,” Moonlight deadpanned.
“Whaaat?” Star asked with a broad grin. “It’s small enough, so I’d just put it between my cheeks. Not… you know…” she bashfully trailed off, her meaning clear.
“That’s still gross, not to mention poor form,” Moonlight gently chided.
“To be fair,” Thomas interceded. “In this scenario, she’d only use the potion after Mim already cheated, right?”
“Exactly. After the first cheat, all rules are off the table, and it turns from an ‘honorable duel,’” Star said in air quotes, “into a fight. Sticking to the rules after that is just naïve idealism.”
“Ya know, since it’s a duel to the death, aren’t both parties incentivized to cheat anyway?” asked Thomas.
“That’s still dishonorable,” Moonlight countered.
Thomas shrugged. “So? If my life is on the line, I don’t really care. Also, if we’re dueling, I probably don’t like the person anyway, so I’m doubly incentivized to cheat.”
“My thoughts exactly,” agreed Star. “A proper match in the ring is one thing, but… Let me put it this way. If Thomas’ life were on the line, can you honestly say you’d stick to the rules? Even if the other pony plays fair, I’d still do whatever it took to protect my herd.”
Moonlight puttered her lips. “Well, obviously, I’d do the same, but I feel like we’ve gotten away from the point. You were supposed to say how you’d defeat a dragon with only transformation magic.”
“Correct,” agreed Star. “You asked me, and I outmaneuvered you. Therefore, I won,” she boasted like a triumphant kindergartener.
Moonlight snorted her annoyance, only to chuckle. “You sound just like you did back when we were little. Nice to see some things haven’t changed.”
“I’m choosing to take that as a compliment,” Star replied with a smile. “Anyway, what would you two do?” she asked. Then, looking at Jet, she added, “You guys saw the original lecture, so don’t let them cheat.”
Jet nodded and turned her scrutinizing eyes upon the herded pair.
Moonlight’s lips twisted as she thought. She’d felt so smart back during the lecture, but it seemed that the lesson hadn’t quite taken.
“What was that you said about mana crystals?” Thomas asked.
“Specialized mana crystals,” Star clarified. “You can not only store magic in them, but inscribe runes that help with certain spell matrixes. They’re pretty pricey, so unless you know ahead of time that you’re going to need that particular spell, you probably wouldn’t even think to get one. Dream Walkers use them a lot since, while we might be good at dream manipulation, a lot of us aren’t too good at combat magic that isn’t necessarily dream-related, so the crystals give a needed boost.”
Thomas nodded as he thought. “Well, assuming that cheating is on the table—”
“Which it shouldn’t be,” Moonlight interjected.
“—I think I’d pull an anime,” Thomas finished.
“I have no idea what that means,” Star admitted while sounding intrigued.
“Wait, anime is just the animated version of those comics Honey likes, right?” inquired Moonlight.
“Yeah. In this case, assuming I survived the gator”—Thomas snickered at the absurdity of it all—“I’d become a rock on the ground. Then, using the ground for leverage, I’d become a giant stone spike and go right for the gator’s gut. Classic anime move.” He continued chuckling at what felt like a grade school discussion, only to notice that all three mares were staring at him. “What?”
“Using the ground as leverage to propel yourself at your opponent…” Jet muttered. “That’s actually clever.”
Thomas brought up a halting finger. “Hey, remember what we were saying earlier. I’m just copying what I saw from other people.”
“We should probably write some of this down,” Moonlight suggested. “Star, do you think you could—?”
“Here.” Star hurriedly handed over the writing implements. “Just make sure to give me a copy. I think my commanders would like to hear some of these.”
Jet tapped at her ear while pretending to scratch. She didn’t need to speak for Firestorm to catch the hint. He would be annoyed at the implication that he wasn’t already taking notes, and that’s what mattered most.
“Well, alright,” Thomas allowed as he watched Moonlight scribble away. “But I’d just like to reiterate that I didn’t actually come up with that. It’s just something I saw a lot in… stories,” he said, self-censoring for Star.
“So?” Star dismissively asked. “Except for Moonlight’s signature spell, do you think she came up with all her moves on her own? I doubt it. She had trainers who taught her the basics, and then she built her style around that. Just because her technique isn’t completely original, that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt if she decides to kick my flank.”
“Only if you deserved it,” Moonlight assured. “Oh, gator spear,” she said while quickly writing. “That’s a good name for an attack.”
“Yeah, but that was also his plan,” Star reminded. “How would you deal with the dragon?”
Moonlight chewed on her lip as she thought. “Oh, I know. Sneezing nettles. If I work the spell right, I could wrap my vines around her face until she inhales. I’d have to let go before the sneezing fits start, but her concentration would be critically hampered. Plus, at least every third sneeze would probably trigger a random transformation. If my response time is better than hers, I can take advantage of the first weak transformation she goes through.”
“Oooh, that’s good,” praised Star.
“I guess I was right to suggest games,” Thomas added. “This feels just like a D&D discussion.”
“A what?” Star asked.
“Oh, I guess you’d call it O&O,” Thomas corrected. “I think that’s basically what we’re doing right now, just making stuff up to deal with the game master’s challenge. It’s just like what kids do on the playground; only we pretend it’s sophisticated because there’s charts.”
“Hmm, now there’s a thought,” Moonlight suggested. “We could remake a version of O&O for the classroom to make learning more fun and engaging for younger students. Although, I doubt the teachers would be too happy with allowing all this cheating.”
Star nodded. “True. These fuddy-duddies are sticklers for tradition, even when it’s detrimental.”
Thomas chuckled. “I just thought of this one story from my… home. It was about this guy who’d go on to become one of the best captains in the fleet. He was supposed to take this simulation test called the Kobayashi Maru, which is supposed to be a no-win scenario. The test is how a prospective captain handles certain failure. The student, Kirk, had already taken the test twice, which was basically unheard of. On the third attempt, he succeeded, but it was later found out that he cheated. He messed with the simulation because, in his own words, ‘I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.’ And the academy let him pass because they liked that kind of outside-the-box thinking.” When Thomas finished, he found all three mares staring wide-eyed at him. Shit, I did it again.
“You should have brought that up to Subtle,” informed Moonlight as she added to her notes. “That sounds like exactly the sort of thing she wanted to hear.”
Thomas huffed in amusement. “Funny how you always seem to think of the best things to say right after it’s too late.” He looked at Star. “Anyway, did you wanna hear how Merlin beat Mim?”
“Absolutely,” Star said with utmost seriousness.
“Well, he became a disease, which she caught,” Thomas finished.
Star snapped her fingers. “Yeah, that’d do it. Then again, you’d need to have rather extensive knowledge in virology to maintain proper control. When you change back, you’d need to leave enough of yourself behind so the illness lingers, but you also need to be careful that you don’t leave too much, or else risk a pandemic. Then there’s the labor of separating your consciousness off from the rest of the germ, so you don’t clone yourself. Not to mention—” Star stopped herself when she saw Moonlight’s teasing grin. “I let that get away from me, didn’t I?”
“A little, but I think that’s also the sort of thing Subtle wanted to hear,” Moonlight explained. “New ideas are all well and good, but we also need ponies to point out their downsides. The way you put it, becoming a germ actually sounds like more trouble than it’s worth, unless you just want to show off.”
“Which, if you could, you obviously would,” Star plainly asserted.
“Oh, definitely,” Moonlight agreed. “It’s like rubbing salt in the wound, showing off that you’re not only more capable, but more clever.” She and Star shared a mock-evil laugh before she gave Thomas a friendly smile. “It’s a unicorn thing.”
Blinking, Thomas turned to Jet. “Are there bat pony things?”
“Aside from hanging from ceilings, not especially,” Jet evenly replied. “My kind are not innately prone to megalomania.”
“Hey, that’s offensive,” Star accused.
“It’s also true,” Moonlight matter-of-factly admitted.
“It’s still offensive. Wait.” Star turned to check a nearby clock. “Okay, good. You guys have a knack for eating up my time, but I’ve still got a bit. Anyway, if it’s not too personal, could you tell me more about this super checkup of yours?” she asked Thomas. “Dream Walkers are technically combat medics, so I know a lot of the doctors around here.”
Moonlight looked at Thomas, silently letting him know that this was his call.
The man shrugged, lifted, and rotated his hand for all to see. “Well, there’s been this weird tingling in my wrists. It doesn’t happen often, but we’re being careful by checking it anyway. And since the equipment at the castle hasn’t picked up anything, we came here for a super scan, or whatever they do.”
Star nodded thoughtfully. “I see. So, I take it that this isn’t a well-known human condition?”
Thomas shook his head. “Not really. There’s this thing called a carpal tunnel, but I don’t think I’ve done the right things to trigger it. Plus, the pain seems a little too random for that.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever heard of either,” Star apologetically admitted. “I can make some guesses, but if you’re already going to see a professional, then there’s no point. And, since you’re with Luna, I’m inclined to think that there aren’t any dream monsters involved. Those things generally aren’t suicidal to go anywhere near her.”
Moonlight chuckled.
“Any chance that it could be psychological?” Star pressed. “Like, maybe you’re responding to a particular kind of stress?”
Moonlight stared sternly at her man.
Thomas shook his head. “I don’t think so. I’m no expert, but I’ve heard a little, and random wrist pain like this doesn’t fit anything I can think of. It’s a total mystery.”
Star’s frown grew. “You seem awfully calm for a mystery medical condition.”
Thomas lightly chuckled. “I have weird reactions, even by human standards. Right now, I don’t think it’s quite registered as real. I’m a little anxious, sure, but it helps to keep distracted with stuff like this.” He gestured around his present company. “Also, as Moonlight just reminded me, there’s nothing I can really do anyway, so there’s no point in fretting.”
Star nodded. “Interesting. Well, that sounds like a healthy response. Whatever it takes to keep calm is probably for the best.”
Thomas frowned. “The way you say that makes me wonder if ponies react differently.”
“A little,” Star admitted. “Keeping yourself distracted from negativity is good. Although ponies, especially mares, prefer to do things. We like to tackle problems head-on and be proactive in what happens.”
“Huh. Humans are the same; only it’s the guys who are the proactive ones. I once heard that old human funerals across multiple cultures followed the same basic formula. The women were given an area to grieve by emoting while the men had to do all the things for the funeral. Whether it was prepping the body, or doing a ceremonial dance, or even bungee jumping. If the culture said that these things were necessary to help the loved ones pass on, the men did it, and that was how they dealt with grief.”
“That’s interesting,” Moonlight commented. “I think I read that ancient pony cultures did something similar, only it wasn’t so exclusive. Both mares and stallions spent a little time with emoting and funeral work, but it was mostly the mares working, with stallions mostly emoting. It’s fascinating all the little ways we’re different, but also similar.”
Fascinating is certainly one word for it, Jet thought.
“Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help,” Star said. Then, checking the clock, she stood and gathered her materials. “I have to go now. But hey, in case it’s psychological, I can guarantee the Dream Walkers won’t let you down.”
“It was good to see you again.” Moonlight stood and heartily embraced her old friend.
“Likewise,” Star grunted as she returned the guard’s squeeze and finished with sharing cheek kisses. She then gave Moonlight a slip of paper and added, “Here’s my new mailing address. Send me any other cool ideas you come up with, and don’t be a stranger this time.”
“I’ll do my best.”
Thomas stood and was about to extend his hand to shake, only for the mare to scoop him up in a fierce hug, winding him.
“You be sure to look after Moonlight, little guy. Don’t let her get into too much trouble.”
“No promises,” Thomas chuckled, doing his best to return the embrace.
Smiling in approval, Star kissed Thomas’ cheek before setting him down and departing once again.
“Ponies sure are friendly,” Thomas remarked as he touched his cheek’s wet spot.
“Only with those we like,” Moonlight informed.
“Say, was there any rule about not eating before the checkup?” Thomas asked.
Moonlight shook her head. “Hungry?”
“I could eat.”
The trio went to the local cafeteria to grab a quick bite. Even Jet munched on an energy bar while standing.
“Are you doing alright?” Moonlight asked after Thomas stared too long at his burger.
“Eh, I guess Star got me thinking about the exam. It should be like what we did back at the castle, right? I stand in the machine, and it does all the work, only it’s a slightly bigger machine this time?”
Thomas shrugged. “It’s probably nothing. I’m just a fan of how magic is, ya know, minimally invasive. Not much needles or thermometers or whatever.”
“There might be a little, but I’ll be with you every step of the way,” Moonlight promised. “Be grateful you’re in the Princess’ good graces. Otherwise, all of these tests would be obscenely expensive.”
“I’m grateful to have a sugar mamma,” Thomas remarked and took another bite.
Sometime later, after they’d exhausted all other distractions, the trio headed for the medical lab to accomplish their errand for the evening. However, as soon as Jet opened the doctor’s office door, they were met by an ear-piercing shriek, which was followed by something big hitting Thomas. It was massive, enveloping most of the diminutive human’s upper body in soft warmth. Thomas inhaled a familiar sweet scent as two enormous arms scooped him up and pulled him tightly into the softness.
“Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” Surprise fretted as her hands trailed down the human’s back while his front submerged in hers. “Did they probe you?”
“Surprise, he ain’t even seen the doctor yet,” reminded Honey. “Also, Ah think he’s about ta suffocate.”
Jet finally relaxed as she processed the scene. She’d tensed and readied for combat the moment the white blur whizzed past. However, she’d reacted too slowly, and the unknown force seized her charge. Now that she recognized the assailant, she forced herself to relax. She also made a mental note to avoid underestimating the pegasus just because she looked more pudge than muscle. Clearly, Surprise was more than what she seemed.
After what felt like forever, Thomas came up for air as the dim lights of the waiting room shown down upon his face. However, his vision to either side was still taken up by seemingly endless stretches of smooth, white breast flesh. At the center of everything was Surprise’s perpetually smiling face. However, that smile was notably more worried than usual. “Uh, hey?” he greeted as her chest pillows squished around his face.
“Hey, to you too,” Surprise chirped. “Having fun so far?”
“Uh, you could say that,” Thomas allowed. He squirmed a little, but found that he could barely move. “When’d you guys show up?”
“A li’l bit ago,” Honey answered, poking her head into Thomas’ field of vision and smiling at his squished face. “We had some free time ‘n’ figured we’d pay ya’ll a visit.”
“I figured you would,” Moonlight chuckled at the amusing sight of the large mares handling her stallion like a ragdoll. She hoped the familiar treatment would help ease his anxiety. “Remember what I said about mares liking to be proactive?” she asked, directing her question at Thomas. “Being there for a friend, even when he doesn’t want you there, counts.”
“In hindsight, I should have figured,” Thomas acquiesced. “So, can you let me down now? I kinda gotta do a thing.”
“Well, alright,” Surprise reluctantly allowed as she set him down, leaving the chasm between her breasts empty. “Luna wanted to come, but she couldn’t get away from work. And you know Silver, always the first to volunteer for alicorn duty.”
“Still, we figured we’d show up ‘n’ lend what help we could.” Honey held up her bicep and flexed in a blatant display of strength. “Whatever’s ailin’ ya, we’ll tackle it together.”
“You guys…” Thomas trailed off as he hugged both mares. His head only came up to their waists, and his arms couldn’t wrap around even one of their thighs. However, they were courteous enough to press their hips together to make things easier for him. “What’d I do to deserve friends like you?”
“Well, I could give you a list of all the fun things we do, but I’m pretty sure most of it’s classified.” Surprise turned to the receptionist and shot her a playful wink.
The mare behind the counter just blinked. Of all the weird things she’d seen since working here, this was easily the most bizarrely sweet thing she’d witnessed in years. “Uh, name?”
With his mares at his back, Thomas approached the window within the wall. The counter was just barely low enough for him to sign his name. “Thomas Collins. I’m here for Dr. Feelgood.”
The receptionist checked her notes. “Ah, here we go. If you’ll just have a seat over there, I’ll let him know that you’re in.”
The gang went to the indicated seating area and sat with Moonlight across from Thomas, the big mares flanking him, and Jet covering a suitable position near the doors. The room was a standard waiting area one would find at most small clinics with beige walls, a dozen chairs, only two doors, and a disorganized assortment of reading materials on the table in the middle.
“So, how was yer first day back at school?” Honey asked. “Cuz honestly, we got lost twice jus’ tryin’ ta find this place.”
“A me’s-eye-view didn’t help much either,” Surprise admitted. “All the buildings look different, but it’s so easy to get turned around once you’re back on the ground. Anyway, you guys have any trouble?”
“We used a map,” Moonlight informed.
“So did we,” Honey said in exacerbation. “We still ended up goin’ the wrong way.”
“This is why I like to arrive early. It gives you a buffer for that sort of thing,” Thomas added.
“Buffer? Don’t you mean”—Surprise wrapped her arms under her ample chest to push her chestacles up—“wiggle room? Hehe.”
“Okay, yeah, that would have been better,” Thomas conceded.
“We were hopin’ ta surprise ya, but we jus’ barely showed up a few minutes ‘efore ya’ll,” admitted Honey.
“You should have come with us from the start,” Moonlight stated. “Then, you’d have seen that Thomas’ stories are being used to teach lessons.” However, before the unicorn could elaborate to the shocked big mares, the receptionist spoke up.
“The doctor will see you now.”
A nurse opened the door beside the window. Everyone knew he was a nurse because of the white nurse’s coat with the signature cap and a skirt so short that it covered nothing. “Please, follow me,” he said and led them through the door and down a maze-like hall. The place was chilly and reeked of chemicals.
“Ya know, I wasn’t expecting an actual doctor’s office,” Thomas remarked as he wrapped his hands around himself to stave off the cold. “If I did, I’d have worn better clothes.”
“Oh, I can fix that,” Moonlight offered as she lit her horn.
The nurse turned around to face the group. “Excuse me, but I’ll ask that you refrain from casting spells within the facility,” he sternly yet politely chided. “It’s office policy to avoid potential tampering.”
“Oh, sorry,” Moonlight apologized, dimming her horn. “In that case, could we get a jacket or something?”
“I’ll see what I can do,” the nurse agreed and showed them to the next waiting room. “There’s a gown on the bed. If that isn’t enough, I can come back with more.”
Thomas went to the so-called bed, which might be better described as a lying area. The thing was built for function, rather than comfort, with only minimal cushioning for resting and a thin yet sturdy sheet of translucent paper separating the prospective patient from the sterilized material. To Thomas’ relief, the gown was sized for foals, so it wasn’t an awkward fit. Although, he still frowned in confusion at how the thing opened up in the back. Moonlight said the differences and similarities between humans and ponies were fascinating. However, too often, they were just plain weird to him. At least the room was big enough to hold everyone. “That’s better,” he said to the nurse after donning the gown. “I can just deal.”
“Very good,” acknowledged the nurse. “The doctors will see you shortly.”
“Doctors?” Moonlight questioned.
The nurse nodded. “Apparently, only specialists are allowed to handle Equestria’s only human. I’m not even authorized to run our standard preliminary checks.” He chuckled. “You’re causing quite the buzz around here, sir. It’s been a while since anypony has dealt with a whole new species.”
“Yeah, makes sense,” Thomas allowed as he looked around the room. It all seemed like the standard setup from back home, only scaled up and missing all electronics. “Was there anything we should know about?”
“Sorry, but I wasn’t told anything more. Just about everything related to your case is classified way above my clearance,” the nurse admitted. “If that’s all, then I’ll leave you to it,” he said and closed the door.
“From one waitin’ room ta another,” observed Honey in minor annoyance. “These guys ‘r’ s’posed ta be professionals, right?”
“Indeed,” Jet added. “For such a high-profile case, you’d think they’d be more efficient with their—”
The door opened, cutting Jet off. “Oh, hello everypony,” Dr. Feelgood greeted. The red unicorn smiled as his eyes scanned those assembled. “Quite the crowd we have.”
“He couldn’t keep us away if he tried,” boasted Surprise.
“She’s not wrong,” Thomas confirmed and stared pointedly at the stallion. “The nurse said something about multiple doctors?”
Feelgood smiled flatly and nodded. “Indeed. As a reminder, the castle’s medical ward has been sending most of our samples to CRSA this entire time. Their facilities are simply more capable than ours,” he remarked in mild awe as his gaze flitted around the seemingly ordinary-looking room before returning his attention to Thomas. “As such, I ask that you come with me to their scanner, the G4-Mage Sight, Mark V. It truly is a wonder to behold.”
“Question,” Honey stated while raising her hand. “Ah thought we were gettin’ the results, not takin’ more tests.”
“It’s both, actually,” Feelgood corrected, looking a bit anxious. “It’ll be a while before we can fully examine all the data. Luckily, we should be able to offer a preliminary diagnosis tonight. The fact of the matter is that CRSA has had to call in multiple specialists from multiple fields to make sense of these readings. That includes medical and thaumological.”
“The study of magic,” Moonlight translated for Thomas. “But I thought Thomas didn’t have any magic.”
“He doesn’t. Well, not exactly. That’s what the Mark V is for, to give us a clearer picture of what’s going on,” Feelgood elaborated.
“So what is going on,” Moonlight sternly pressed while holding Thomas’ hand.
The human just stared at the doctor, quietly processing everything he heard and trying not to let his imagination run too wild.
“I’m sorry, but I’d prefer not to say until after the scan,” Feelgood admitted.
“Because you don’t want to cause worry,” Surprise concluded. She then addressed the others and gently said, “It’s probably best to wait and see.”
“How long will that take?” Moonlight asked, her displeasure evident in her tone.
“Oh, not long at all,” Feelgood said a bit too excitedly. “The Mark V is”—at Moonlight’s warning gaze, he cleared his throat and calmed down—“top of the line. We can give you the preliminary results almost immediately, and we’ll have the full results in just a few hours after the scan. From there, we can compare it to our previous findings and form a more solid diagnosis in a week or two.”
Moonlight stood with an intense fire in her eyes. “A week or two? You don’t sound terribly certain about that,” she said through a clenched jaw, relaxing only when she felt Thomas tug on her hand. Her ears splayed in apology. Although she was frustrated with the doctor’s perceived inadequacy, he really was doing his best. Besides, if Thomas was keeping cool, then she had no right to throw a tantrum on his behalf.
Feelgood cleared his throat. “I’m deeply sorry for the misunderstanding, as well as any unprofessional behavior on my part,” he said with his ears splayed. “Thomas, you are a fascinating specimen, unlike any that Equestria has ever encountered. I’m afraid that can sometimes get so caught up in the research that I sometimes forget that you’re also my patient.”
Thomas sighed and twisted his mouth as though tasting something bitter. “Well, if that’s how it has to be done, then we might as well get it over with.” He huffed and stepped forward.
“Thomas?” Moonlight asked, gently clasping his fingers.
Thomas looked up at Moonlight and smiled reassuringly. “Like I said, there’s no need to worry until we know what to worry about. Let’s just do the tests and get this over with,” Thomas said, trying not to sound too sour.
“Yeah, that’s the ticket!” Surprise cheered as she wrapped one arm around the human’s shoulders while squishing her breasts against his arm. “Don’t fret until you absolutely have to. And even then, don’t let life get you down. Just take things as they come. It’s always worked out great for me.”
“Speakin’ ‘f which, is there anythin’ we can do?” Honey asked. “Ah think Ah got the stuff ‘bout not knowin’ everythin’, but d’ya know enough ta know somethin’? Like, is there a diet we can put ‘im on ‘r somethin’?”
They sure are saying ‘we’ a lot, Thomas observed. He understood that these mares were speaking from genuine concern, and it warmed his heart to know that so many had his back. However, even more so, he disliked everyone making a fuss over his condition, whatever that was. Unfortunately, telling them not to worry would likely make them even more upset, as Honey and Surprise recently demonstrated. The human was powerless to do anything other than let his loved ones fret over him. In hindsight, there were probably better things to feel down about.
“Oh, and for the record,” Thomas eventually spoke up, looking at Dr. Feelgood. “Yeah, your bedside manner could probably use some work. Telling people not to worry is pretty much the surest way to make them worry.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Feelgood nodded his acceptance and motioned everyone out the door. “Now, if you’ll follow me. I should be able to make a recommendation with the preliminary diagnosis.”
The doctor led the group down yet another hall, entering a room that contained the source of all this fuss. The machine was utterly massive. While the one at the castle also took up half the room, this room was twice as large. Probably the best descriptor was magitech, a device that was equal parts magic and technology. The machine’s main body was lined with ornately shaped, silvery metals and colored gemstones, but it was hard to tell how much was aesthetic, functional, or both. Lights glowed between the metallic star caps, alternating green and red at random intervals. Although, this one lacked any wood, flesh-looking bits, or the chair.
A team of scientists in lab coats briefly looked up from their respective control panels, saw what had disturbed their calculations, and went right back to work. Interestingly, most of them were earth ponies who muttered amongst themselves. They were fairly quiet, and the few words Thomas heard sounded like technobabble. Large cables on the floor and light beams shining from diamond-shaped crystals connected a circular raised platform to the machine’s main body. The platform somewhat resembled the machine at Feelgood’s office in the castle, only without the seat. While this machine was bulkier than the castle version, at least this model looked like everything was built with intent from the start, rather than heavily modified from the original model. With that said, it still seemed rather imposing.
Moonlight held onto Thomas’ shoulder as much for her sake as his. “This is the best there is?” she skeptically questioned.
“I know. Isn’t it a beaut?” Feelgood marveled, oblivious to the mare’s tone. “Now, if you’ll strip and step there”—he indicated the platform's glowing yellow pads shaped like hooves—“we can begin the procedure.”
Thomas covered his fingers over Moonlight’s and gave a small smile meant to reassure her. “It’s just a test. Besides, if anything bad happens, you can just beat them up.” His remark caused all chatter to cease as the ponies at the monitors turned wary looks at the human and his entourage.
“He’s not wrong, sugar,” assured Honey as she gently pried Moonlight’s hand away.
Trying to ignore the strangers looking at him, Thomas disrobed and stepped onto the platform as the staff resumed their work. He angled his body so that unauthorized personnel couldn’t see his privates, as some habits simply refused to die. Once his feet settled on the hoof pads, the glowing portions immediately changed to shape his feet. “It’s supposed to be warm, right?”
“Yes, that’s normal.” Feelgood went to the control panel for the platform and began typing. The apparatus whirred to life as seven rings of different sizes rose from the platform and levitated to varying heights around his body. Each rotated at a different speed, and they alternated from clockwise to counterclockwise. Three lights glowed from each of the rings’ inner surfaces, shining every color of the rainbow over Thomas’s body, starting at red around his ankles and going up to violet around his forehead. “Feel anything?”
“Uh, I think so. The lights are kinda tingling,” Thomas described as he felt each light beam orbit his body. “It’s like there’s a bunch of concentrated heat lamps shining on me.”
Feelgood nodded while never tearing his eyes from the monitor. “That’s good. Let me know if you feel any changes. As for you”—he motioned to Thomas’ entourage—“feel free to chatter. My team’s selective hearing spells will activate once the work starts, so you won’t interrupt us. Plus, maintaining normal-tension levels should yield more accurate readings.” He then looked at Thomas. “However, if you feel anything out of the ordinary, I need you to tell me immediately. Just keep me updated on any odd sensations, no matter how seemingly minor.”
Thomas nodded. “Got it.”
“Good. Just follow my directions, and we’ll have you out of here in no time.” Feelgood licked his lips as he faced his monitor. “Alright, team, let’s get this show on the road.” Feelgood called out instructions to each of the scientists manning the other panels. Likewise, they responded with terms that Thomas could barely pronounce and numbers that the human couldn’t follow. “Alright, I’m going to put up the magic shield. It’ll momentarily disable all other spells on your person to give us a better reading. Those spells will return before the shield goes down.”
“Cool. It’s cold enough in here as it is,” Thomas replied.
“Tell me about it,” Surprise added while rolling her fingers on her nipples. “I think I could cut glass with these babies.”
“Lucky. All Ah can do is smash rocks,” Honey boastfully added as she pinched her left nipple.
“It’s not a competition,” dissuaded Moonlight.
“Well, at least you ain’t in last place.” Honey gestured to Thomas, whose hands still covered his groin. “Ah’ll bet he couldn’t even cut through a wet tissue like that.”
“Hey, that’s not fair,” Thomas countered. “It’s cold.”
“Shield’s going up… now,” Feelgood announced as a blue-white aura enveloped the space between the rings.
For whatever reason, Moonlight felt a pit grow in her stomach. The sensation was brief, like she’d lost her balance, only to quickly avert falling.
“Whoa.” Thomas shivered. “Feels like I’m a couple pounds lighter.”
“Ah’m aware ‘f the cold,” resumed Honey as she gently elbowed Surprise. “We’re jus’ pointin’ out how mares do much better in the cold than stallions. It ain’t yer fault that we’s superior.”
“Hard nipples and soft dicks are how you measure superiority?” questioned Thomas.
“Hey, if it works, it works,” Surprise said with a shrug.
Dismissing the sensation as overprotective paranoia, Moonlight smiled at her stallion. “Sorry, Thomas, but she’s right. Don’t worry, though. We mares might be better, but we’re also good sports about it.”
“Raise your arms, please,” Feelgood instructed.
Complying, Thomas pursed his lips at his mares. “This is hardly a fair challenge. Give me a few quesadillas, and I’ll show you who the true superior is.”
“Quesa-what?” Surprise asked.
“Quesadillas,” Thomas repeated. “You know, a tortilla with melted cheese, meat, and vegetables.”
“Ooh, sounds yummy,” Surprise chirped.
“If we’re havin’ a contest ‘f cheese, Ah’d like ta abstain,” requested Honey. “On the grounds that Ah don’t wanna kill no pony.”
“Are quesadillas a human food?” Jet asked, speaking up for the first time in forever. “I don’t think I’ve heard of a tortilla either.”
“Wait, seriously? None of you know what a quesadilla is?” Thomas pressed in disbelief.
Moonlight shrugged. “Should we?”
Thomas didn’t answer right away. Instead, the gears of his mind began to turn. So far, it seemed as though virtually every human food was present in Equestria, or at least had a vegetarian equivalent. He remembered that quesadillas were explicitly mentioned in the show. Something about their cheesiness made Twilight afraid of them. This raised several concerns for the ordinarily cautious human. If no one knew about quesadillas, then there was a good chance that they simply didn’t exist, meaning that Twilight’s fear also didn’t exist… yet. This presented quite the moral dilemma. If he shared the recipe, it’d likely start wrong, but chefs would eventually perfect it. Once they were out there, there’d probably be some traumatizing experience for Twilight. Did he have a right to do that? After all, he liked Twilight. Was it worth the potential trauma if it meant introducing Equestria to cheesy goodness? Feeling a grumble in his stomach, and realizing that he hadn’t had a quesadilla since coming to this place, Thomas gave his answer. “As soon as we’re done with this, we’ll go to the kitchens in the castle, and I’ll show ya.” Twilight will be fine, he reasoned.
“Now, turn your head to the left,” Feelgood instructed. “Good, and now the right. Mh, hmm. Yes. And forward again.”
“So, what’s this about Thomas’ ideas being taught in school?” Surprise asked.
“The wizard’s duel from The Sword in the Stone,” Moonlight replied. “A mare named Subtle Tear was using it as the basis to promote creative thinking in combat.”
“Ooh, sounds like fun,” Surprise chirped.
“It was quite the eye-opener,” agreed Moonlight. “I never realized the orthodox around casting was so rigid. Almost no pony in class had any idea what would happen next. They just wanted to brute force their way through problems rather than thinking creatively and maneuvering around the problems. Subtle made it sound like this one clip will be the basis of a whole new way of thinking.”
“Not bad, li’l guy,” Honey praised. “Got any more ideas ta show unicorns how ta use magic the right way?”
“Actually, yes,” Thomas confirmed as Honey snickered. “I think our next few stories should be about this show called Avatar: The Last Airbender. It’s about people who can bend the elements in—”
“Sorry, but could you squat for me?” Feelgood requested.
“Like this?” Thomas asked as he bent his knees, nearly touching his butt to the floor.
“Yes, that’s good. You may stand again.”
“Alright. Anyway, they bend the elements for all kinds of awesome fight scenes.”
“Neat, but what can ya do jus’ by bendin’ air?” Honey asked. “Ain’t that jus’ blowin’ wind in folks’ faces?”
“Nope. Aang—he’s the airbender—can spin air in a ball so rapidly that he can sit on it and use it to dart around the battlefield. Also, he’s got a glider he can airbend to let him fly. If there’s a way to translate bending to magic, that might mean unicorns can fly without wings.”
Jet couldn’t hear it, but she could almost feel Firestorm’s grin. She couldn’t deny that she was also intrigued by this prospect. However, it still irked her that all these ideas came from the alien.
“The same goes for bending earth, water, and fire,” Thomas continued.
“Sorry again,” Feelgood cut in. “You said the pain was concentrated in your wrists, yes?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Please indicate where the pain is concentrated.”
Thomas nodded and rubbed his fingers from his wrist’s base to the space between his middle and ring finger knuckles. “Just along here on both hands. It’s never been more than a minor tingle before, so I didn’t really notice.”
“Is there any tingling now?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Alright.” Feelgood turned a dial. “How about now?”
“Uh, the lights got a little warmer, but I don’t feel anything else,” Thomas admitted.
“I see. Hold your hands up, so the green lights pass over your wrists.”
“Like this?” Thomas asked as he complied.
“Good.” Feelgood turned the same dial further. “And now?”
“Um, I don’t know. It’s just the same warm tingle as—Tsss!” Thomas hissed as he flinched.
“Thomas?” Moonlight stepped forward.
Feelgood thoughtfully hummed as he stared at his screen. “That’s odd. Are you seeing this, Cross?”
“Got it,” confirmed one of the other scientists as he vigorously adjusted the knobs and dials on his monitor.
“What’s going on?” Moonlight urgently demanded.
“Is there still pain, Thomas?”
The human pinched his right wrist as he attempted to pierce his flesh with scrutinizing eyes. “Uh, no. It lingered for a second, but now it’s gone.”
“Well, whatever it is, we got a lock on it,” Feelgood proudly informed.
“Ah reckon ya’d better tell us what’s goin’ on if ya know what’s good fer ya,” Honey threatened.
“Hmm?” Feelgood finally looked up from his monitor and looked at the mares as though he only just now remembered they were there. “Oh, sorry.” He stepped away from his monitor for the mares to see for themselves. It resembled an x-ray of Thomas’ hand. The doctor then pushed a few buttons, revealing a thin red glow where Thomas indicated the pain was focused. “This reading is peculiar. Honestly, I’m not even sure what I’m looking at.”
“That’s not something a doctor is allowed to say,” Surprise sternly stated. “Can’t you tell us anything?”
Feelgood scratched at his chin. “Well, it definitely reacted to the scanner’s magic. A broad scan had an insubstantial reaction. However…” Feelgood paused as he fiddled with a few controls that only seemed to change the image’s background color. “If I had to liken it to something, I’d say these readings most closely resemble a negative withdrawal.”
“Alright,” Thomas allowed. “Pretend I have no idea what that means.”
“I suppose you could think of it like magical magnetism,” Feelgood explained. “Different poles attract, but the same poles repel. If you had two magnets stuck together, and you suddenly flipped one around while holding the other stationary, the non-stationary magnet would appear to withdraw. The same phenomenon happens with certain spell matrices. Only with magic, the rule is more pragmatic. You can’t, for instance, simultaneously lower and raise the temperature within the same space. Often, the spells fizzle before the matrix can properly form. If your magic is strong enough, you can force it, but you’ll still feel a noticeable resistance, like the spells don’t want to be cast.”
Thomas nodded. “Alright, I think I followed that. So, what’s the deal?”
Feelgood sighed. “The deal, Mr. Thomas, is that you’re a non-magical creature inside a magic vacuum. Except for the scanner’s crystals, which are spells so highly focused they can’t be picked up unless you’re looking right at them; there is zero magic in your environment. All of these readings are almost identical to a negative withdrawal scenario within an organic space, such as heat, muscle contractions, and so on. Everything indicates that one type of magic is repelling another, except there’s still no magic.” Feelgood pointed to several bars and wavy lines on the monitor’s left side. “Zero magic is exhibiting a magical reaction.”
“But, then what are we looking at?” Surprise pointed at the screen. “What’s that red thingy?”
“That’s where the reaction is concentrated,” Feelgood informed while trying to repress his excited chuckles. “It’s like heating an unmelting ice block. Every conceivable measurement indicates that the temperature is rising within the block. The ice is even warm to the touch. However, the molecules aren’t reacting how our understanding of science says they should. Instead, a non-magical area is exhibiting all the signs of a particular magical reaction, except for the magic part.”
“Ah don’t get it,” Honey admitted.
“Neither do I. That’s what’s so exciting!” Feelgood elatedly chuckled. “These readings are utterly unprecedented. Now, I just need to—”
“Ahem!” Jet loudly cleared her throat. “Pardon my interruption, but you are behaving terribly unprofessional, doctor.” The guard curtly said the last word as though she’d meant to swear.
“Oh, oops.” Feelgood’s ears splayed in genuine embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his head. “I guess I got carried away there.”
However, before any of the mares could chew out the stallion, Thomas had a thought. “Can we go back a second? What was that you said about the scanner being so focused you can’t see it?”
“Ah, yes,” Feelgood acknowledged, grateful for the escape. “Generally, magic is a broad and scattered phenomenon. It’s everywhere at once. With that analogy, you can think of spells like wind, concentrating the magic in a particular direction. A standard scan operates on this broad assumption and picks up the ambient magic put out by all creatures, spells, and even rocks. Only the most skilled unicorns, or the most expensive equipment, can perform magic that a broad scan can’t pick up. This level of magic is almost impossible to detect unless you happen to look directly at it.” That’s when Feelgood grew quiet and thoughtful. “Wait a minute.” He went back to the monitor and resumed fiddling with the controls. “Hmm, that might be something.”
“Maybe havin’ us in the room wasn’t the best idea,” Honey observed. “All this ignorin’ us is really pissin’ me off, ‘n’ Ah don’t wanna break nothin’.”
“Hmm, I see,” Feelgood muttered, paying no mind to Honey, or the various dirty looks the other mares sent his way. “The anomaly also reacts the same as focused magic, invisible unless you’re looking straight at it. Now that we know what we’re looking for, I… I think the scanner up at the castle should be able to pick this up, provided we upgrade it a little.” The stallion beamed and turned to Thomas. “Think the Princess will approve that in the budget?” he tentatively asked with a barely restrained grin.
Thomas glowered in silent bemusement in response.
“Hmm, right,” Feelgood accepted. From there, the doctor instructed Thomas’ mares to step back so that he could resume his work uncrowded. He gave Thomas a few more directions, such as asking him to move his wrists to each ring level. However, none of those cases elicited reactions as intense as the first time. They were varying degrees of irritation rather than outright pain. Neither Feelgood nor any of the other present doctors could explain this. However, they’d collected plenty of data, but that would still take time to properly examine and give an accurate diagnosis. After what felt like hours, but was really only half an hour, the group was finally allowed to leave. Additionally, at Honey’s insistence that they needed something to deal with this issue in the short term, Dr. Feelgood recommended that Thomas continue using low-tier wards. He also asked that Thomas keep track of all spells used on him, avoid any new spells, and record any unusual reactions, no matter how minor.
“Well, that fills my socialization quota for the week,” Thomas remarked in exasperation after they’d left the building. “How about you guys?”
“I need a milkshake,” Surprise huffed.
“Ah could use a glass ‘f orange juice, mahself,” Honey added.
“Isn’t that blasphemous from an Apple?” Moonlight mused as she walked with Thomas’ hand in hers.
“Only if Ah say it’s better ‘an apple juice, which it ain’t. Ah jus’ like ta get some variety now ‘an then.”
“I think I’ll go for the milkshake,” Thomas said while picking at his eyebrow. He just wanted to relax with something sweet, and not think about how Luna will react. He’d only understood some of what Feelgood said, but the conclusion was that there was definitely something wrong with him. How wrong was yet to be determined, but it was undeniably something. And Luna, like most of the mares in his life, would likely overreact while attempting to protect him from something none of them even understood yet. Suffice to say that he was not looking forward to that conversation.
Everyone returned to the castle later that evening. Much to Thomas’ relief, Luna didn’t react as intensely as he feared. Sure, she was worried, but she didn’t overreact with overprotective coddling. “I think your assessment is the best approach,” Luna said while holding Thomas in her lap, demonstrating the usual level of coddling. “There is no point in worrying until we better understand the issue. I also think Dr. Feelgood has the right idea. We should maintain old wards and avoid casting any new spells on you.”
“Seems pretty straightforward,” Thomas agreed as he leaned against Luna’s ample bosom. “So, that was my night. What about yours?”
Luna wagged her finger at the human. “Tut-tut. We are not done yet,” she gently chided as a wry grin split her lips. “Did you happen to visit any of my recommendations?”
Thomas chuckled, relieved for the change of topic. “Just the first one with—What was her name?”
“Subtle Tear,” Moonlight reminded while sitting on Luna’s other side. “The Sword in the Stone.”
“Oh, I enjoyed that one,” Silver said. She sat in Surprise’s lap while the white mare sat beside Luna on the bed. “Also, why am I sitting on your lap?” she asked her fellow winged mare.
“Cuz you’re small and cute, and I like doing this.” Surprised wrapped her arms around the smaller mare and happily squeezed. “Besides, you tried to get away earlier, but I caught you, so that means you belong to me now.”
“Sorry, Silver,” Honey said while leaning against a nearby wall. “Ah’d’ve liked ta have ya, mahself, but Surrpsie was quicker.”
“Why do I have to belong to whoever catches me?” Silver whined. “Why can’t I be a free pony and sit wherever I like?”
“To be fair, can you think of a more comfortable seat than a mare’s lap?” Moonlight asked.
“Several,” Silver boasted as she proudly straightened her back. “First and foremost, a mare’s face.”
“Well, you’ve got me there,” Surprise accepted. “However, I got you first, so we’re doing my thing.” She tightened her grip as Silver slowly came to terms with her fate.
“Anyway,” Moonlight cut in. “I was surprised somepony got so much from just that one scene.”
“What scene?” Silver asked.
“They took the wizard’s duel scene from the movie and gave a lecture about it,” Thomas replied. “Well, maybe less a lecture and more a scolding. Apparently, unicorns aren’t too creative with their magic, so this was supposed to change that,” he said while looking up at Luna with expectant eyes.
The alicorn smiled like a cat who’d swallowed the canary. “I could not help myself. ‘Tia told me of this problem some time ago. So, when you shared the movie in your dreams, I thought it would be perfect for addressing the issue.”
“So you made a copy?” Thomas asked.
“Nothing so intrusive,” Luna countered. “We were already in your dreams, so I simply remembered everything.”
“Ah,” Thomas said in understanding. “If this were humans, I think this’d be a privacy breach, but I guess magic gives all kinds of workarounds.”
“I fail to see the breach if you invited us in the first place,” observed Silver.
Thomas nodded. “True. However, I could argue that I was coerced. If I refused, you guys would just make sad pouty faces at me until I surrendered. That’s just not playing fair.”
“Agree to disagree,” Luna chimed in while still grinning. “Anyway, what did you think?”
“About the whole thing? I think it was pretty clever,” Thomas replied. “Moonlight, Jet, and I talked about it right after, and I think I’ve got other ideas that could serve the same purpose. Although I think I’d prefer if we tried not to make a big deal about these being my ideas,” he emphasized.
“We already talked about this,” reminded Moonlight. “As far as anypony cares, the ideas came from you. Whether they were originally yours or not doesn’t matter too much to them. Plus, if they have questions, who else are they going to ask?”
“Fair enough, but I’d still like it if people don’t start treating me like some kind of genius. I’m not,” Thomas asserted. “Also, I think you underestimate crowdsourcing.”
“What’s that mean?” Surprise asked while resting her chin on Silver’s head.
“Well, with the internet, there are literally millions of people all sharing their opinions on literally everything. There are whole channels dedicated to analyzing fiction. There was one episode analyzing a battle from a really popular show. In reality, a studio run by highly paid coordinators worked for months to set everything up to make it as cool as possible. And in the video, some random guy from nowhere spent days putting together a thirty-minute episode explaining everything the soldiers did wrong within the context of the show’s world. The guy got tens of thousands of upvotes, meaning tens of thousands of people agreed with his analysis. My point is that you shouldn’t underestimate the perspectives of random pedestrians with too much time on their hands. Once the ideas are out there, it won’t be long before plenty of people understand them better than I do.”
“Which is precisely why you ought to share those ideas,” urged Luna. “Giving them to others who can put them to use is the point. What is wrong with receiving credit for passing along such things?”
Thomas pursed his lips. These mares were persistent. “Well, so long as we stress that I’m just passing them along. I don’t want to be set up as a genius, only to immediately prove that I’m not.”
“That should be simple to arrange,” allowed Luna as she kissed Thomas’ forehead. “It was my suggestion to turn the humans in the scene into ponies to prevent potential confusion. We can simply continue with that practice. Now, what about the other presentations?”
Thomas apologetically shrugged. “Sorry, but we didn’t go to the others. I kinda got stuck in my own head from that first one, and I figured the others would just be more of the same.”
Luna pouted. “I see. I am sorry for not properly taking your feelings into account. I simply wanted to surprise you with the benefits of your presence.”
“Yeah, I figured.” Thomas touched Luna’s chin and guided her down to kiss on the lips. “You’re sweet like that.”
“I certainly am,” Luna beamed.
“Oh, and I almost forgot,” Thomas said while looking at his unicorn. “Moonlight met an old friend.”
Moonlight almost felt the weight of everyone’s collective stares focusing on her and was sure that Thomas had done this on purpose. “Her name is Soothing Star. She’s an old foalhood friend. We lost track of each other when we were young, but she’s gone onto applying for the Dream Walkers.”
“Oh, so she’s a Luna worshipper?” inquired Silver.
“She is. I think you’d like to meet her. She’s still as fun as I remember.” Moonlight turned to look at Honey. “She’s also a bit of a nerd, so I think you’d like her too.”
“Oh-oh-oh, what about me?” Surprise insistently asked. “Would I like her?”
“You like everypony,” Moonlight flatly reminded.
“Eh, fair enough. Anyway, can somepony get me a brush?” Surprise requested as she ran her fingers through Silver’s mane. “Somepony needs some work done. Just what’d you do to get your mane like this?”
Moonlight lit her horn and levitated a brush from the bathroom to Surprise’s hand.
Silver giggled as she leaned into the white mare’s gentle caresses. “The better question is: what did I not do?”
“Ya put ‘er in yer dress again?” Honey asked.
“That seems to be her favorite,” Luna confirmed.
“Think that spell’d work on somepony mah size?” the earth mare inquired. “Ah wanna see what all the fuss is about.”
Luna beamed in excitement. “Certainly.”
“Only if I accompany you,” Silver interjected. “You are not as nimble as I am, so you may need some guidance on the proper protocol to covertly traverse the masterpiece that is Luna’s body,” she said while dramatically gesturing.
“Uh-huh,” deadpanned Honey. “‘N’ this ain’t jus’ an excuse ta try out some kinky plan yer devious li’l brain’s been cookin’ up fer weeks, is it?”
Silver blinked and stoically stated, “You cannot prove anything.”
Thomas chuckled in appreciation for these mares just being themselves. “You guys are great.”
“Well, that much is obvious,” bragged Silver. “Although, I would like to hear more about how an alien from another world is telling unicorns how to do magic.”
Moonlight rolled her eyes before giving a quick summation of Subtle’s lesson. “She’s just encouraging us to think outside the box. Thomas isn’t directly telling anypony what to do.”
“I kinda wanna hear the story about the airbender,” Surprise chimed in. “That wind ball you stand on sounds pretty cool. I wonder if there’s a way I could do that.” She then looked at her spread wings and experimentally flapped them. “That’d be so cool.”
“Wait, what about the rule on no magic?” Moonlight reminded and looked at Luna. “You always use a memory charm to help Thomas remember the little details.”
“Feelgood said no new magic,” Surprise corrected. “The memory charm isn’t new.”
Seeing that Moonlight was not persuaded, Thomas thought up a compromise. “Is there a way to do a light version? In the show, bending is based on different styles of martial arts. There’s no way I can remember those moves off the top of my head. If you want to see them, it’ll have to be in my dreams.”
“I think that may be for the best,” Luna agreed. “Dreams take place in a deeper level of the mind, closer to where memories are stored. An expert in lucid dreaming could easily navigate the clutter and help you recall with perfect clarity,” she lightly boasted. “If need be, I can use a more mild charm there to greater effect. Until then, I agree with Moonlight’s caution. We should refrain from higher tiered spells until we better understand your condition.”
“Yeah, that seems reasonable,” agreed Thomas. His mares were being overprotective, but only mildly so. Humans would probably take similar precautions if this were an earthly malady.
“Alright, but even if ya can’t do the moves right now, Ah’d still like ta hear the story,” Honey spoke up. “That stuff you was sayin’ earlier got me all excited.” Honey then glanced at Surprise’s still flapping wings and added, “Any chance there’s something fer an earth pony ta learn?”
Thomas smiled indulgently. “If you’ll recall, I mentioned there’s earthbending.”
Honey took an urgent forward. “Well, what the buck ‘r’ ya waitin’ fer? Quit yammerin’ ‘n’ get ta story tellin’.”
Still grinning, Thomas acquiesced and hopped off of Luna’s lap. He walked a short distance from the bed as the mares huddled together. Somehow, Moonlight wound up lying across everyone’s laps with her head resting on Silver’s thighs. “Truly, the oppression of us shorties is without limit,” Thomas bemoaned as the unicorn made herself comfortable.
“They think this is for our own good, but they do not know our pain,” agreed Silver as she massaged Moonlight’s ears.
Honey derisively snorted as she gently caressed Moonlight’s hooves. “What do Ah gotta do ta get oppressed like this?”
“You have to be small and cute,” Luna informed as she rubbed Moonlight’s belly. “Unfortunately, by most ponies’ standards, you are big and sexy. Therefore, you are not entitled to oppression.”
Honey grunted in frustration and snapped her fingers. “Rats!”
“Hey, she’s right,” agreed Surprise. “I wanna be oppressed, too. Thomas, as soon as we’re done here, you need to oppress me,” she said while indicating the brush.
“Uh, sure. I think I can do that,” Thomas allowed. “Now, if there was anything else you wanted to—”
*Knock-Knock-Knock*
Thomas faced the door. “Who is it?”
“Room service,” called a familiar voice. “Someone ordered a”—she paused as if reading something—“a super sexy griffon to liven things up cuz your lives are so dull without her.”
Thomas smiled flatly and turned to the others. “You guys order one of those?”
“E’nope.”
“I do not think so.”
“Not me.”
“I would never.”
“Unless she’s extra spicy and covered with cream, I don’t want her.”
Thomas nodded and turned to the door. “Sorry, we don’t want any. Send her back.”
“Look, pal,” the female said in dramatic annoyance. “I spent all day prepping this order, getting it nice and ready for, and I quote, a bunch of dorks who need some excitement in their lives. Now, let me in, or I’ll track you down and give ya such a pinch.”
Thomas snickered.
“Is she spicy with extra cream?” Surprise called more loudly this time.
“Uh, I think you guys are supposed to give your own cream, preferably from a specialized magic wand.”
“Okay, we’re stretching things enough as is.” Tired of the game, Thomas opened the door, only to be scooped up by a familiar griffon, and held bridal style.
“Miss me?” Talon asked while rubbing her beak against Thomas’ cheek.
“Good to see you,” Thomas replied while hugging her neck.
The griffon turned her avian eye on the others. “Did I interrupt something? Tell me it’s an orgy.”
“Even better,” Surprise chirped. “Thomas was just about to start storytime. Afterward, the little guys are gonna oppress us big guys,” she giddily explained.
“As we deserve,” Honey added.
Luna extended her hand in invitation. “Would you care to join us?”
Talon clicked her beak in contemplation. “Ya know, I was worried I’d be too late. Turns out I have excellent timing.” She set Thomas on his feet and flapped twice to settle down beside Honey. “I’m guessing the doctor’s visit went alright. Sorry again for not making it.”
“It’s cool, and we’ll tell you later,” Thomas assured. “Now, let’s start a story that may potentially revolutionize how ponies use magic in combat.”
“Okay, sensing missing context here,” Talon observed as she nodded and joined Honey in messing with Moonlight’s hooves. “Go on.”
And so it went that Thomas told the tale of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Without the memory charm, it was a bit of a struggle to get all the details. However, he did his best. “So, episode one starts out with these two teens on a boat in the arctic. They’ve got darker skin and thick blue coats. There’s ice everywhere. The brother, Sokka, is at the boat’s front trying to fish with a bone spear. At the back, Katara is waving her hands over the water.” Thomas tried to mimic the pushing motion. “She keeps it up until it starts to make ripples.”
“Wait, is her hand in the water or over it?” inquired Talon.
“Over. This scene introduces the world’s magic to the audience, so I should get to your questions soon,” Thomas explained.
“Ah, cool,” Talon allowed.
“Anyway, she keeps up the motions until she levitates a ball of water with a fish inside. She’s holding it like this, with her hands a full foot from the water,” the human explained while miming. “She’s so excited that she doesn’t see that Sokka’s about to catch a fish the traditional way. They’re both so wrapped up in their own thing that, just as Katara brings the water over Sokka’s head, he brings his spear back and pops the bubble. Sokka is drenched, and Katara’s fish slaps him before hopping back in the water.”
“Hehe, I think I’m starting to notice the pattern,” Surprise said. “I could almost feel that was gonna happen.”
“So, Sokka is understandably mad. He says, ‘Why is it that every time you play with magic water, I get soaked?’ Katara says that it isn’t magic; it’s waterbending. But he’s heard this before. It’s an ancient art unique to their culture, but Sokka just doesn’t care. However, before they can get too into it, their boat gets caught up in a current full of ice sheets. One wrong move and they could get crushed. Unfortunately, they don’t react quickly enough and their boat doesn’t make it. Now, they’re stuck out on an ice sheet with no way to get home.
“Naturally, this only heightens tensions, and Sokka makes some remark about how he should have known better than to bring a girl along for a man’s job, which pisses her off. You get the feeling that Katara’s been letting this build for a while, because she just unloads on the guy,” Thomas explained with a fond grin. “She just goes on and on about his bad attitude, how he goes off to play soldier while she’s stuck with the chores, and especially his socks. Apparently, his socks are reeeally nasty,” he recounted to his audience’s amusement. “However, Katara’s so caught up with her rant that she doesn’t realize what she’s doing. She’s making these big, wild gestures that are causing the iceberg behind her to crack.”
“Bending is based on martial arts, which is all about movement. You take a certain action to control an element in a certain way. Take earthbending, for instance,” Thomas continued, noting Honey’s perked ears. “You might stomp your foot on the ground like this”—he demonstrated—“which causes a large boulder to fly up and hover just in front of you. The earthbender then kicks it at anybody who pissed him off. Even if you’re not strong enough to lift the boulder with brute force, the power of bending gives you a workaround. It’s like projecting and amplifying your strength into whatever you’re manipulating. So, if you’re a bender, and you start making these big and powerful slashing motions, you’d better be sure that you’re nowhere near your element.
“Anyway, Sokka’s trying to warn her, but Katara isn’t listening. She keeps going until the iceberg shatters. The force is so powerful that it almost capsizes their tiny ice sheet. Katara, understandably, is pretty amazed at what she did, but her brother is still annoyed, but at least they’ve both calmed down a little. A second later, and there’s a blue glow in the water. Bubbles come up, followed by another iceberg that’s a bit too spherical to be natural,” Thomas suspiciously explained, watching as the ladies’ faces contorted in thought. Who needs reaction videos when I’ve got anthropomorphized magical creatures? “Anyway, Katara sees that there’s someone trapped in the ice. More importantly, this someone opens his glowing eyes, so she takes Sokka’s club and starts bashing the ice to get him out.”
“Does it explode?” Honey asked. “Ah bet the ice explodes.”
“Never free a glowing creature from an obvious prison,” Luna advised. “I do not see this ending well for them.”
“Sokka would agree,” Thomas added. “Anyway, Katara starts beating the club into the ice, but it’s pretty clear that this could take hours.”
“Why does she not waterbend the ice?” inquired Silver. “Ice is a type of water, yes?”
Thomas nodded. “True, but Katara’s still a novice. Getting the fish was her biggest accomplishment, and the first iceberg was an accident. Anyway, she only gets a few more hits in before the iceberg starts to crack. The ball splits in two as a giant light beam shoots out into the sky. It actually parts the clouds, so it’s more like an energy blast than just a light. Nearby animals start crying out in alarm as the beam can be seen for miles. Unfortunately, one group that sees it is on a big, black, metallic ship. It’s belching smoke, and the music suddenly turns ominous, indicating these are the bad guys. Standing on the ship’s front is a teenager in red armor. He’s bald except for his ponytail, and he’s got a nasty burn scar over his left eye. He turns to an old man sitting at a table and drinking tea. That’s his uncle. The teenager, Prince Zuko, says that it has to be ‘him.’ He says it all dramatic like that. However, his uncle isn’t so certain. Apparently, they’ve gotten their hopes up over nothing before, so the uncle just wants them to sit down and enjoy some tea. However, Zuko is determined to capture the Avatar.”
“Title drop!” Surprise announced.
Thomas nodded. “Yup. Anyway, back with the kids. Sokka’s covering Katara with his body after that blast. He’s got his spear ready to defend against whatever comes out.”
“Quick thinking and very brave,” Luna praised.
“And out comes a boy. I think he’s supposed to be twelve. His body is glowing a soft blue, while his eyes and the arrow tattoo on his head are bright white. He climbs to the edge of the ice and looms menacingly over the siblings. The music is all dramatic, like some great and powerful force has been unleashed upon an unsuspecting world,” Thomas explained with extra flare. “Then the glowing stops and the boy tumbles down the ice. Katara goes to grab him. The kid’s pretty exhausted from whatever that was he just went through. Katara cradles him with maternal concern, but Sokka keeps his distance and starts poking the boy’s bald head with the non-sharp end of his spear.”
“You claim that Sokka has a bad attitude, yet he’s had the most practical reactions thus far,” Luna noted. “Although, the wiser move would be to hold the spear to the boy’s neck until you confirm that he is not dangerous.”
“Anyway, Katara gets him to stop as the boy stirs awake. His voice sounds pretty weak as he says he needs to ask Katara something. She asks what. And suddenly, he sounds a lot more upbeat as he asks, ‘Will you go penguin sledding with me?’”
“Favorite character! Calling it now,” Surprise announced. “She’d better say yes.”
“Katara confusedly says ‘sure.’ Then, there’s a burst of air that pushes the boy out of Katara’s arms, and he floats for a second before getting on his feet. Sokka asks the obvious questions, like how the boy got in the ice and why isn’t he frozen. They then hear a deep, beastly grumble from the other side of what’s left of the iceberg. The boy excitedly runs over and hugs the animal. His name is Appa. He’s a little shorter than an elephant with a longer body that’s more like a beaver, especially the flat tail, white fur except for the gray arrow-shaped stripe on his head, six legs, a flat cow-like face, a saddle, and his face is almost as big as the mattress,” Thomas finished by indicating the royal bed.
“What kind of fur?” Moonlight asked, her eyebrow raised in intrigue.
“The fluffy kind. Toys of this guy were super popular,” Thomas answered. “So, as Aang—that’s his name, by the way—tries to wake Appa up, the sky bison finally licks him, which Aang is happy about.”
“Sky bison? As in… a bison… that’s in the sky?” Honey asked.
“Yup.”
“Ah think Ah want that.”
“Most people do, but Sokka isn’t one of them. He just sees an unknown animal that’s as big as a small whale, so he keeps himself and his sister at a safe distance. He’s also skeptical when Aang calls it his flying bison.”
“Sokka is my favorite,” Luna informed. “The colt has a good head on his shoulders.”
“He’s also the comic relief,” Thomas added. “Appa sneezes and covers him in green snot. Sokka is so grossed out that he starts rubbing himself on the ice to get it off.”
Luna narrowed her eyes on Thomas. “I feel like you did that on purpose.”
“I may or may not have,” Thomas admitted. “So, Sokka gets over it quickly enough, and remembers that this kid is still a stranger. He thinks the light may have signaled the Fire navy. Katara sarcastically says, ‘He’s obviously a spy for the Fire navy. You can tell by the eeevil look in his eye.’ Which Aang responds to with a cheerful smile.”
“Isn’t that exactly how a good spy would react, though?” asked Moonlight.
“True, but Aang proves he’s got nothing to do with the Fire Nation when he sneezes and flies ten feet in the air. I think that’s also when he finally introduces himself. Katara realizes that he’s an airbender, but Sokka’s had enough weirdness for one day and is ready to go home. Unfortunately, he remembers that they still don’t have a boat. Aang says they can use his flying bison, which happens to have a saddle bigger than their old boat. However, Appa is too tired to fly, but he can still swim. Katara also catches Aang staring at her.”
“What are their ages?” asked Talon.
“Aang’s twelve, and I think Katara’s, like, fourteen, so it’s nothing weird,” Thomas assured.
“In that case,” Talon wolf-whistled. “Go for it, kiddo! Get that preteen equivalent of tail.”
“That is highly inappropriate,” chided Silver.
“It’s also young love, which is innately adorable, and I dare you to say otherwise,” Talon challenged.
Silver merely exhaled her defeat and went back to petting Moonlight.
“Meanwhile, back with Zuko, Uncle Iroh is trying to get him to rest for the night, but also be realistic. Even if the Avatar is alive, Zuko won’t find him. Everyone in their family line has tried to find the Avatar, going back generations, but they all failed. Zuko just says that their honor wasn’t at stake. He’s a man on a mission, and he won’t fail.”
“Dangerous singlemindedness,” Luna assessed.
“We cut back to Aang and the gang who are just chilling as Appa swims. Katara asks that since Aang is an airbender, if he knows what happened to the Avatar.”
“Isn’t that obvious?” Moonlight chuckled. “You recently pulled him out of the ice with that big light show.”
“Unless glowing like that is normal in this world,” corrected Silver.
“It isn’t,” Thomas stated. “In fact, Aang gets evasive, saying he never met the guy. Katara accepts this and goes to sleep on the saddle for the night while Aang rests on Appa’s fuzzy head. Then there’s a nightmare flashback of Aang and Appa falling in the water in the middle of a storm. Aang almost loses consciousness, glowing happens, and he seals them both in an iceberg he made on the spot.”
“It sounds as though the Avatar, while powerful, is not in full control of his abilities,” Luna observed. “What you described is more of a reflex than a willing act.”
“Ah thought the kid was a monster who needed spears pointed at ‘im,” Honey reminded with a wry grin.
“Based on the information at the time, Sokka’s responses were all correct,” Luna defended. “That is still true. However, given new information, I would still advise caution. Power without control is dangerous, no matter how benign the user’s intent may be.”
“Anyone ever notice how we’re, like, the chattiest audience ever?” Surprise chirped.
“Nah, it’s fine,” Thomas assured. “It’s fun to watch you guys react to stuff.”
“Then get on with the story,” urged Talon. “When do Aang and Katara start makin’ out?”
“Season three.”
Talon snapped her talons. “Dammit.”
Thomas waited until the peanut gallery finished their chatter before resuming. “So, Aang wakes up in a tent back at the village. Katara sees him without his shirt—”
Talon whistled.
“Not like that. She sees he’s got blue arrows tattooed down his limbs and over his head.” Thomas traced the lines over his body for accuracy. “She then brings him out to the village to meet everyone. Not counting the children, that’s, like, ten people. It’s a small camp with tents surrounded by a wall of snow. Katara introduces Aang to the entire village, who are all wary of him. Aang asks why, and Katara and Sokka’s grandmother says that no one has seen an airbender in a hundred years and that they’re assumed extinct. That’s a pretty heavy revelation that Aang doesn’t fully process for another couple of episodes. Luckily, Aang’s a whimsical kid who’s pretty good at coming up with distractions. He’s got a staff that unfolds into a glider, which he bends the air around to make him fly. Sokka asserts that humans can’t fly, and Aang immediately proves him wrong.”
“Okay, you are definitely doing this on purpose,” Luna accused. “You took the most logical character, my favorite, and made him a fool.”
“Hey, don’t blame me,” Thomas dissuaded. “Blame the plot.”
“Who’s plot?” Surprise snickered.
“THE plot,” Thomas dramatically asserted. “Anyway, as the narrator was trying to think of ways to stop saying ‘anyway’ so much, Aang was being a showboat. He’s so pleased with himself that he’s not looking where he’s going and slams into a watchtower made of snow. He wrecks it, much to Sokka’s sorrow. Sokka says that since they’re both benders, Aang and his sister can waste time all day. Aang’s impressed that Katara’s a waterbender, but she says that she isn’t really, not yet. She’s still got a lot to learn, and she doesn’t want to be credited for doing anything big.”
“Sounds familiar,” Moonlight stated while looking pointedly at Thomas.
“Anyway, as the narrator fails in his self-appointed task, Katara’s grandmother pulls her aside to start the day’s chores. Katara’s excited to meet someone who can finally teach her waterbending, which I’m assuming you all realize is a little sad.” Thomas waited for everyone to nod. “And as Aang plays with the kids, Zuko trains on the ship. His guards are all in full armor with white masks as they throw fire at each other. However, Iroh isn’t pleased. He tries to educate his nephew how firebending is supposed to work, that it’s all about the breath and not the muscles. However, Zuko isn’t too patient. He argues that he’s wasting time learning the fundamentals while the Avatar has had a hundred years to master all four elements.”
Honey raised her hand. “Question. Is the Avatar s’posed ta save the world?”
“Yup.”
“Well, they’re screwed.”
Thomas shrugged and waved his hands as though weighing something. “Kinda. He gets better, but that isn’t for a while. In the meantime, Zuko is demanding to learn more advanced skills to deal with the presumably more powerful opponent. And back at the water village, Sokka is doing his best to train the village’s young boys into future warriors. He and Katara are the only teens. Everyone else is women, children, or the elderly. Aang is busy having fun, which the kids are more interested in. Now, he could ask about the village’s demographic issue or what Sokka meant by the war, but the easily distracted airbender sees a ‘Penguiiin!’ and immediately takes off after it.”
“I knew Aang would be my favorite,” Surprise said with a giggle.
“Now, the thing about animals in the Avatar world is that they’re all fusions. Wolf-bats, badger-moles, otter-penguins, and so on. We never see what a tiger-shark looks like, but I can only assume that it’s terrifying. There’s also, like, five different kinds of bear, and a regular bear is considered weird.”
“I think you just described Fluttershy’s wet dream,” Talon offered.
“So, Katara follows Aang to the penguin colony, but he’s not having much luck grabbing any. She offers to show him how to catch one if he agrees to teach her waterbending, but he can’t, for reasons that should be obvious. He asks why can’t she learn from anyone in the village, and she says she’s the only waterbender in the whole South Pole. Aang asks about the other Water Tribe in the North Pole. Unfortunately, the tribes haven’t had any contact in a while. Plus, it’s pretty far away. Aang reminds Katara about his flying bison, but she’s hesitant about leaving home. In the meantime, they finally get to catching penguins. The key is fish. Honestly, riding a penguin down a steep hill is pretty much as fun as it sounds, and both of them have a blast. However, the fun ends when they come upon a Fire ship lifted above the ground and partially encased in ice.”
“Clever of the waterbenders to make their home on solid water,” Luna observed. “However, by that logic, wouldn’t the earthbenders be the single most powerful group? Any land they settle on can be used against their enemies.”
“The Fire Nation has been making slow progress against the Earth Kingdom for about a hundred years,” Thomas explained. “However, as the ship hints at, the Fire Nation has the advantage of industrialization. Also, I think there’s something about each element affecting its nation’s culture. Generally, earth just sits there and doesn’t really move much. It can endure just about anything, but that’s it. Fire’s nature is to spread and consume everything, so the Fire Nation has had a lot of success taking gradual bites out of the Earth Kingdom. Water is fluid and adaptable, not to mention fire’s natural opposite. The only reason the South Pole is in this state is because they’re so much smaller than their northern cousins. It’s pretty much the same strategy of the Fire Nation taking a bunch of small victories to whittle their enemies down through attrition. And air, well, they’re all about freedom and are generally pacifists. They never stood a chance, especially when the Fire Nation used a thing that I won’t spoil.”
“Tease,” Surprise whined.
“Yes, and?”
“No and. I just want to make sure we all understand that you’re a teasing meanie pants, and you should feel very ashamed of yourself,” Surprise ranted with a friendly grin.
“Well, I’m not. I’m kinda proud of that, actually,” Thomas said with his chin held high. “It’s like making a hook to draw in the audience for future events. Like, all that stuff I just spelled out, it’s never really explicitly said like that, at least not all at once. One of the things the show was praised for was its narrative storytelling. Like, in season two, when we finally learn about earthbending philosophy, the audience can pick up that this mindset is much better for defending than attacking. And based on everything we’d seen up until this point, the Earth Kingdom is always fighting a defensive war without ever really attacking. The writers trust the audience to pick up the clues. As opposed to me. I’m just a blowhard.”
“I’m inclined to agree,” Luna said. “This story will indeed be useful in shaking up the status quo. And you are also a blowhard,” she added with a wry grin. “Now, on with the ship.”
Thomas nodded. Even if these weren’t his original ideas, he reasoned that there was no harm in being a little proud of his contribution. “Anyway, Katara wants to stay away from the ship, but Aang tells her that benders have to let go of fear and marches in. Katara reluctantly accepts this, and they find a crack in the lower hull. They explore, and it’s super creepy. Katara mentions that this ship was part of the Fire Nation’s first attack, and Aang finally starts wanting answers. He’s got friends all over the world, including the Fire Nation, and he’s never seen any war. He thinks he’s only been frozen for a few days, but it was probably closer to a hundred years. That’s how long the war’s been going on. This revelation hits him hard, and he’s just gotta sit down to process it all. When Katara tries to help him see a bright side to all this, Aang says that he got to meet her.”
“You said season three,” recalled Talon. “Yeah, that’s not gonna work for me. Make them start making out sooner.”
“You are so impatient,” Moonlight lightly chided.
“Yeah, and?”
“I also vote to advance the romance,” Silver added. “If these were ponies, and a colt said such things to me at that age, I know that I would kiss him before too long.”
“Same, but Ah kinda like taken it slow,” Honey countered. “Give things time ta build up naturally. Unless the romance is the point ‘f the story, it’s best not ta force it ‘n’ just let things happen in their own time.”
“That’s called a slow burn,” Thomas pointed out. “And you’re right. Avatar is more about exploring the fantastic world, cool fights, and comedy. The romance is, at best, a C or a D plot.” He then pointed in accusation at Surprise. “Don’t.”
“What? I wasn’t gonna say anything,” the white mare denied with unconvincing innocence. “Although, if we’re gonna label plots…”
“I said no!”
Surprise puttered her lips in disappointment. “Fine. In that case, I vote on a compromise. Can we push the lovey-dovey stuff to season two? These two sound so cute together.”
“We’re going to watch the full series in his dreams,” Moonlight reminded. “After that, we could try altering the story to better appeal to a pony audience.”
“Does it need to be changed?” Thomas questioned. “It seems to hold a pretty strong appeal as it is,” he said while motioning to the ladies.
“You bring up an interesting point,” Luna said while looking at Moonlight. “‘Tia and I agreed to make changes to the wizard’s duel to avoid distracting audiences with the minor details of humans casting magic. Perhaps we could take things to the next level with this story.”
“That’s a great idea,” Talon cheerfully encouraged with a broad grin. “I know that because I’m totally clued in on everything, and you guys aren’t just leaving me over here to stew without any context.”
“We can tell ya everythin’ later,” Honey huffed in annoyance. “Right now, Ah wanna finish the story. Ah get the feelin’ somethin’ bad’s buildin’ up.”
“Also, the oppression,” reminded Surprise. “You owe us some oppression.”
“Yeah, okay. The episode’s almost over, and you’re right,” Thomas said to Honey. “The pair keep exploring until they come to the ship’s bridge. Aang triggers a tripwire buried in the snow that locks them in and also sends off a signal flare. Luckily, there’s a hole in the roof that Aang can carry Katara out of. Unluckily, Zuko was looking their way because of the flare, so he sees the obvious airbender, even if at a distance. Zuko tells his uncle that he’s found the Avatar, and also his hiding place while looking at the village. And that’s the end of part one.”
Surprise threw her hands up in the air in anguish. “Nooo!”
Honey chuckled. “Yeah, that’s how ya end the first part ‘f a story.”
“I do not see the point. Why end there when the story clearly is not finished?” Silver asked.
“The series opener is a two-parter. That’s kind of an example of a slow burn. So much time is spent just being with the characters and getting small glimpses of the world instead of jumping straight into the action. There’s so much story that the episode ran long, so they had to split it into two parts. It might not translate when I just tell it, but there’s a lot of quiet moments that build tension and atmosphere. Not to mention the music, and there’s just so much you miss by not watching the original,” Thomas stressed. “Although, while I can kind of see the changes necessary for the duel, I’m not really seeing the same for this. Do ponies really need to look at other ponies to get things like fighting techniques and philosophy?”
“If I’m following right, it couldn’t hurt,” Talon chipped in. “Folks tend to listen to folks who look like them. That’s just how it goes, chimp. Especially if we’re talking about the snooty elites, who run everything.”
“Sad, but true,” Moonlight confirmed. “Although, Thomas is right. Should there be changes to things like music and atmosphere? That just seems excessive if all we need are the fights and philosophies.”
“I’m not talking about the fights,” Surprise corrected. “I just want to make the story better by getting these obvious special someponies together sooner. I hate all that wishy-washy will-they-won’t-they stuff. If two ponies would obviously be good together, then just get together.”
Thomas thoughtfully hummed. “Well, since we’re gonna watch the whole thing anyway”—his eyes fell on Moonlight—“I guess there’s no harm in subjecting our friends to our fanfiction.”
Moonlight’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Wait, what about our other book?”
Thomas shrugged. “We keep running into writer’s block lately. It’s probably a good idea to take a break with something different. Try experimenting with a whole new tone and genre. The story’s already written for us, so we’re just writing our version of things slightly changed. Now that I think about it, writing Aang and Katara as if they were ponies might be a neat experiment.”
“Wait, what kind of ponies?” Silver asked. “Should Aang be a pegasus because of his air powers?”
“This is a human story, and they don’t have pony tribes. They have skin color.” Moonlight looked at Thomas for confirmation.
“Yeah. That was something the creators were pretty specific about,” Thomas informed. “The four nations were all based on real-world ethnic groups.” He trailed off in thought. “So, I guess that’d translate to everyone is an earth pony, but the tribes are all the same color?”
Honey pulled up her lip in disgust. “Makin’ everypony an earth pony sounds neat, but havin’ them all the same color? That’s just gross. Sounds like inbreedin’ ta me.”
“Uuugh!” groaned Surprise. “Why do you ponies keep getting distracted by the little things? The point is I wanna see young love blossom in a war-torn world.”
“Doesn’t sound gross to me,” Talon interjected. “In fact, I think it’s pretty cool.”
“Agreed,” Silver added.
“What about you, Moonbutt?” Honey asked. “We haven’t heard yer take on things. Tell me ya’ve got more sense ‘en the rest of ‘em.”
Luna smiled apologetically. “Sorry, but I’m inclined toward a quicker pace. Personally, I still find it rather odd how so many ponies wait so long to herd. Life is short enough, so why not spend as much time as possible with your special somepony?”
“You guys got terrible priorities,” Honey huffed.
“Well, you heard the filly.” Talon clapped her talons as though summoning a servant. “Get to it, writing monkeys.”
“Yes!” Surprise cheered. “Wait, no. We gotta do the oppression first.”
Chapter 151: Oppression of the Formerly Tall (Clop)
“So, how do we do this?” Thomas asked as he stood beside Silver near the bed to overlook their subjects. A line of mares and the wren sat before them in submissive postures with eager expressions. “I’m not much into the BDSM thing, ya know.”
“Don’t worry,” Silver assured. “I have a few ideas that we should all enjoy. But, first”—she took the brush from Surprise and handed it to Thomas—“take this.”
Thomas accepted the tool and looked between it and the white mare’s expectant smile. He then grinned at the implication and strolled behind the ladies before setting his eyes on the pegasus’ wide posterior. Carefully, the human set his foot on the left cheek for added height, bringing him closer to Surprise’s head. Pleased, he began brushing. “Stepping stool,” he idly commented.
“Hehe, this is fun,” Surprise tittered as she shuffled her shoulders and fluffed her wings against Thomas.
“I’m not hurting you, am I?”
“Nah, your feet are nice and soft.”
Moonlight frowned. “Hey, how come I’m on this side of the line? I’m short, too.”
“Barely,” Talon dismissively said. “Though, I guess you can be a backup if these guys can’t handle the rest of us on their own.” Then, looking at Thomas, she added, “What’d you have in mind for me, little guy?”
“Oh, I think I have something for you,” Silver said as she walked up to the wren. Even sitting, the griffon was almost even with the bat mare, which made it a surprise when the shorty forcibly pushed the avian onto the floor. “Lowly giant. Prepare to be put in your place,” she proudly declared.
“Okay, ya got me interested,” Talon admitted after letting herself fall backward.
Silver gave a few flaps before turning around and resting her hooves on either side of Talon’s head. Then, beaming with excitement, she crouched and sat her posterior down on the griffon’s face. “Nnngh,” Silver purred as her designated seat wasted no time to begin licking. Silver wiggled her rump, trying to wedge the beak deeper into her crack and paying no mind to any sharpness. She trusted Talon to know what she was doing, and the wren did not disappoint. “Yes, that’s it, giant. Know your place beneath my plot!”
Talon happily complied as she grabbed the silver mare’s pert cheeks, prying them apart to gain easier access to her tasty nether regions. Her tongue expertly prodded and probed the wet slit as heavenly musk graced her nostrils. Her licking provoked the mare to produce more sweet juice for the griffon to happily lap up like a thirsty dog. To Talon’s relief, Silver returned the favor by leaning forward and firmly squeezing the wren’s breasts.
“Cute ‘n’ all, but this don’t seem too oppressin’,” Honey observed. “You do that stuff anyway.”
“Honey speaks true,” Luna began, her horn already glowing. “I think I know how we might experience true oppression from our vertically challenged friends.”
“Uh-oh, guys. Get ready!” Surprise excitedly announced. “Luna’s got an idea!”
“Wait, what’s happening?” Moonlight asked.
“To truly be oppressed, to be treated as we treat our height-challenged lovers, we must switch places,” Luna informed as her horn’s glow intensified. “They cannot toy with and use us to their heart’s delight until they are the tall ones. So, I say we try what we discussed in yesterday’s dream. All those in favor of shrinking, raise your hand.” And just like that, all hands in the designated tall group shot up. Even Moonlight, after a moment’s hesitation. Then, Luna finally finished building a charge, and a bright flash lit the room.
When Thomas’ eyes adjusted, he realized he was no longer standing on Surprise’s booty. His hand wasn’t even on her shoulder, so he leaned down until he reached her diminished head. The once towering white mare had been reduced to a fraction of her former height. She stood up to a little above eye-level with Thomas’ knee as she examined herself and the room with awe. Honey looked roughly the same size as she started giggling at her new perspective. Moonlight and Talon were just below the human’s knee. At least, Talon would be if she weren’t still beak-deep in Silver’s marehood. The bat pony cried out from the change in pressure as more of the wren’s beak suddenly slipped between her nether lips. Impressively, the wren never ceased her oral assault on the now larger slit, yet the bat now groped the shrunken boobs with inquisitive intensity. And lastly, Luna now stood with her horn tip reaching almost halfway between Thomas’ knee and groin. Everyone’s proportions were intact, so they still looked like adults, just absurdly short.
Thomas was torn between an outburst of giggles and a sudden onset of cuteness as he scooped up the white mare. Her breasts spilled over his arms as he pulled her tight. She struggled to escape for only a second, but quickly began nuzzling under his chin. She wasn’t about to say no to a hug, no matter the circumstances.
Seeing this, the other mares each experienced pangs of envy. Luckily, their sense of balance was still intact, so they effortlessly stood and strode over the expanded distance to whichever giant most intrigued them.
“Hey, havin’ fun over there?” Honey inquired, only to touch her throat. “Why do Ah sound younger?”
“That’s just a higher pitch resulting from your smaller frame,” Luna explained as she pulled at Thomas’ arm, wanting to join in the cuddles. “There’s nothing to worry ab-OUT!” she gasped when Thomas scooped her up as well.
The human held both diminutive mares to his chest and fiercely nuzzled their cheeks. “You guys are so cute.”
“He’s right. We are,” agreed Moonlight. Then, seeing that Thomas seemed preoccupied, she went for Silver and eyed up her unchanged, but larger-looking body. “You, however, are a different kind of cute.”
“Oh? Do tell,” Silver invited, still wiggling her hips around Talon’s face.
“Well, your teats look so much bigger, for one,” Moonlight noted. She asked permission with a look and reached out to cup the larger mare’s breasts with both hands. The flesh was soft and warm, yet the surface was far more expansive to the doll-sized mare. “They feel the same, just… more. I-I’m not sure how to explain it.”
“‘N’ yet she still ain’t the biggest,” Honey boasted as she pushed her chest out.
“Hold on. Let us make sure.” Silver reached for the pint-sized earth mare and pulled her over. Honey was remarkably heavy for her size, but the bat mare easily lifted the shrunken thing into her lap before grabbing a handful of green boob. “Hehe, I can finally cover the whole thing,” she boasted as she held the more miniature mare’s back to her stomach.
“Agh, Faust!” Honey moaned as Silver’s touch sent waves of pleasure through her system. “N-no pony’s touched me l-like that ‘n a while,” she admitted. From a young age, the green mare had developed a figure that was fairly typical for earth ponies, meaning that no pony had been able to cover her whole teat in a very long time. This new sensation was almost overwhelming as it donned on Honey just how different she was from the previously shortest mare in the harem. Everything was so much more real than the dream world. However, this was followed up by catching a look of realization in Silver’s eyes. “Ya’ll jus’ went mad with power, didn’t ya?”
“Not yet, but we shall get there soon,” Silver tittered as she scooped under Moonlight’s rump to also bring the diminished unicorn into her lap. This put more pressure on Talon’s face as she continued eating out the bat mare.
Moonlight moaned a bit quieter than Honey as the big hand squeezed her cheeks, prompting Silver to be more aggressive in her touching. The unicorn fell forward against the bat mare’s breast and inadvertently nuzzled the vast surface. “Hmm, this is different than using the bigger teats as pillows,” she observed as her palms experimentally roamed over the boob flesh and surrounding area. “It’s not as squishy, but still very soft. Mmh. I might have to use you as my pillow more often.”
Silver pushed her chest out as she swelled with pride. “Finally, you learn the merits of smaller teats.”
“Fer the record, Ah didn’t learn nothin’,” Honey informed as she pushed herself up to reach Silver’s other boob. Then, upon making contact, she joined Moonlight in nuzzling. “Ah already liked yer teats. Though, they make fer much better pillows this way.”
“Hey, that looks like fun,” Surprise giggled. “Do me next.”
Finally, Thomas overcame his cuteness entrancement and started looking at the shrunken mares for what they truly were: horny idiots eager to try their latest kink. The human sat down and rested their small yet proportionately full butts on his knees. “This is kinda weird,” he admitted while staring at the winged mares’ chests. “You’re kid-sized, but clearly not kids.”
“Hehe, play with me, daddy,” Surprise giggled in her sweetest, most child-like voice.
Thomas stared flatly at her. “Not helping.”
“Oh, then how about this?” Surprise deepened her voice to a lusty purr. “Give this little dolly what she wants, big boy.”
Pursing his lips, Thomas admitted, “Yeah, that’s better.” He glanced at his erection to confirm its approval and then to Luna.
The mare took advantage of the human’s lowered guard and attacked, standing upright to force her boobs in his face. Usually, her titanic titties would envelop Thomas’ whole upper half if she tried this. But, now that their roles were reversed, she could still see everything above his nose. His hot breath pelted her sternum, and his eyes went from surprised to horny as he took in her scent. “Just because you’re the oppressor, don’t think we will make it easy,” she warned as her hands mashed her melons around his face.
Thomas returned the alicorn’s challenging look as he straightened up, nearly knocking her back. However, he placed a hand on her back, just under her wings to save her from falling backward, all while keeping his face between her boobies. Then, after some quick adjustments, he freed his mouth enough to say, “Smells nice.”
“Hehe, whoa! It’s so weird seeing you guys swapped like this,” Surprise tittered.
Returning his attention to the other winged mare, Thomas slipped his hand beneath her rear and gave a hearty squeeze, making her moan. “Still as squishy as ever, just a lot less,” he noted in amusement as he tested her butt’s give. She was still Surprise, but it helped to think of her as more doll-sized. Then his expression grew thoughtful as he considered the term. “Say, oppression means that you guys are my playthings, and I get to play with you however I want, right?”
Surprise and Luna quickly shared a look, turned to focus intently on Thomas, and grinned as they nodded.
Returning the grin, Thomas said, “Hey, Silver.”
“I know, I heard!” she excitedly confirmed as she eyed the wingless mares in her arms. Then, finally, Silver let Talon come up for air and sat all three shrunken ladies in her lap. “Did you enjoy your little meal?”
“Not really. You stopped me before I got the good stuff,” Talon whined as she glanced between the mares to either side and then the ‘big’ mare eyeing her up like a piece of meat. “Of course, if you’ve got something else in mind…”
“I may,” Silver allowed. She picked up both Talon and Moonlight under their arms and found them sufficiently light for what she had planned. “How about I start by making my dollies kiss?” She then flipped Talon upside-down. Now holding the wren by the waist, she forced the pony’s face into the griffon’s crotch. “Yes, have a drink, my little sweeties.”
As with Talon, it didn’t take long for Moonlight to get into the swing of things. Her time in the harem had thoroughly conditioned her with quick responses to anything horny. So, grabbing the griffon’s butt for support, she eagerly dug her tongue into the other creature’s sex. Her juices were divine, as were her wet lips and lustful moans. However, Silver continued to press them together. It almost felt like the bat pony was trying to force the unicorn’s muzzle up into the griffon’s snatch. While the unicorn would have preferred to set the pace, she rolled with the game’s apparent rules and continued the sexy kiss.
“Yes, how do you like being the plaything for a change?” Silver taunted.
“Buck, that’s good!” Talon croaked from the pressure against her slit. Then, wanting to return the favor, she mirrored Moonlight for an irregular sixty-nine position and tried to go as hard as Silver was forcing. The unicorn’s nectar was as delicious as ever, and the griffon went the extra mile by prodding a talon or two in her anus. This resulted in the unicorn’s screams reverberating through the wren’s sex, heightening her enjoyment.
Then, indignant at being left out, Honey decided to make her own fun. With the shorter pair dangling above, the green mare cheated, using her earth pony strength to force the bat mare’s legs apart. Silver looked down in surprise at the other mare’s audacious feat. In response, Honey gave her taller counterpart a look that said ‘deal with it’ before she dove in and started feasting on the gray marehood. Silver’s slit was the biggest that Honey had ever eaten. Its first wink nearly swallowed the green mare’s face. Luckily, Honey had a strong enough neck to hold her head in place as she stared at the hungry lips. She instead redirected her attention to the mare’s pink nub. Honey’s diminished state meant she had to work harder to fit the whole thing in her mouth, so she sucked it like a nipple.
Despite the onset of pleasurable stimulation, Silver remained upright as she continued playing with Talon and Moonlight. She’d taken Honey’s tongue too many times to count, but the smaller version was less powerful with a shorter reach, even if it was focused on her clit. Although, her winking sex also felt incredible as her sensitive lips nibbled on the shrunken mare’s chin. So instead of tumbling back in overwhelming delight, she resealed her thighs, clamping around the earth mare’s head. Honey showed no signs of caring as she continued eating out the bat mare. Even so, Silver still felt powerful as she watched the little face poking out between her thighs. It was one of the hottest things she’d ever seen.
Watching Silver’s bold display gave Thomas some ideas as he continued fondling the miniature mares. Even downsized, their bodies were just so soft, warm, and overall grabbable. “Alright, my little playthings,” he said while channeling Silver’s menace. “Let’s see if this works.” Thomas began by pressing the mares together. Their big boobs almost intertwined as they flopped over one another, making the mares moan. Next, Thomas held them together by the small of their backs, enabling the voluptuous winged mares to entangle their arms as they made out. He then manipulated his large dolls upside-down, only to pry their legs apart.
Catching onto his intent, the mares quickly accommodated and let him manipulate them. As they made out, the mares stole lascivious looks at Thomas, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was too mesmerized with their tiny marehoods pressed together. Then, after adjusting his grip, the human held the interlocked mares as one would a large beverage and brought them up to his lips. As best he could, Thomas sealed his lips around their sexes and wedged his tongue between their slits. The mares were already horny, so it took little work for the juices to come forth. However, that didn’t stop Thomas from having fun. Their slits were so much smaller yet had much stronger reactions to his tongue. Just slipping the tip inside Surprise caused the white mare’s wings to spasm. Doing the same to Luna made the alicorn scream into the pegasus’ mouth.
Both mares continued wiggling and seeking relief from each other while Thomas had his way with them. They could have fought against the human for more control, but the surrender was part of the fun. Instead, they tried to wrap their little legs around his face while trying not to poke his eyes. Luna reached around for the bases of Surprise’s wings, causing the pegasus to retaliate against the alicorn’s plot. As the mares fondled one another while the human used them as a beverage, the pair tried to ignore how their breasts squished together. However, the massive mischievous mammaries eventually retaliated, bouncing out of their confines and smacking their smashers under the chin, breaking the kiss. They stared in disbelief at one another before breaking down in giggles at the absurdity.
Thomas, however, failed to notice this, as he was too preoccupied with their bountiful slits. He then experimented by wedging his tongue between their sexes. They both winked over his oral appendage, trying to pull him inside. However, while the organ was almost too large, the winks treated his taste buds to their delightful secretions. Sweet lemon and sugary sweetness blended sweetly over his pallet, driving the human to suck even harder. The human then adjusted his grip to more firmly push his face between their legs and devour their pussies. In so doing, he brought the mares’ faces closer to his waist.
With their kiss interrupted, the horny mares finally noticed the human’s manhood. Relatively speaking, it was the biggest that Surprise had ever seen, and the fourth biggest Luna had ever seen. The pink tower pulsed with veins as it stood tall, stiff with blood, and ready for use.
“Looks painful, doesn’t it,” Surprise noted, swallowing so she didn’t drool.
“We should help,” Luna agreed. So, while Thomas continued holding them just out of reach, Luna lit her horn to bring them down another inch or so.
The mares first reached out with their hands, finally grabbing the cock’s red helmet as though their lives depended on it. The squishy surface was hot to the touch, and the light caught a drop of pre oozing from the slit. Luckily, Thomas finally realized what they were up to, so he lowered them to close the remaining distance. The winged pair hugged their arms and breasts around the rounded tip as they began lavishing the shaft’s hot skin with licks. However, although they heard Thomas’ moans, they agreed this wasn’t enough and pushed themselves back up. Next, the pair returned Thomas’ oral assault and buried their faces in his slit. It was like two dogs trying to drink from the same bowl as they devoured the salty treat. Their hands roamed across the head for added stimulation, granting them more delicious seed, yet it still wasn’t enough. Both mares wanted the full experience of the man’s giant meat stick against their bodies.
“Hey, can I get in on this?” Talon asked.
Thomas looked up from his beverage to find the doll-sized griffon hovering before his face. His expression was a little dumb, as he was somewhat drunk on sex juices while tiny hands and mouths attended his penis.
“Silver said you guys could use an extra claw,” Talon said as she closed the distance. She then put her hands on either mare’s ass cheeks and slowly pushed them down, which Thomas allowed. “Let them play with the cock. I want to see if that mouth’s gotten any better,” she stated while wiggling her rump.
Finally, Thomas lowered the mares down to his waist and released them. They wasted no time in uncoupling, only to bodily throw themselves on his shaft. Each mare wrapped their hands around his base and balls as their tongues lavished his cock head. Everywhere else was engulfed between their voluptuous breasts. At their diminished size, the mares could apply far more pressure to their double-boob-job. Their mouths were too small to swallow the head, but their ravenous tongues more than made up for it.
At the same time, Talon impatiently threw her rump at Thomas’ face. “Eat this, chimp!” she challenged as she flagged her tail and pushed her ass against his lips. As with Moonlight, Thomas was conditioned to readily accept almost anything sexual, so his lips effortlessly parted to accept her booty. Her pert and muscular cheeks took up most of the human’s mouth. And while avoiding the teeth was apparently unfeasible, she instead chose to focus on the human’s tongue. “Whoa-ho! That’s it, monkey boy. Eat me!”
Thomas moaned around his mouthful as he complied. While the mares had grown more comfortable accepting his oral offerings, this was the first time he’d literally eaten an ass before. It was like a marshmallow he wasn’t allowed to chew. Maybe a lollipop would have been a better simile as the human eagerly lapped at and between the wren’s cheeks. Her anus was a little bitter, but her winking pussy was plenty sweet. His tongue could barely fit through her lips, but she was already gushing with juices, so he was fine.
“Gah! Nnngh! D-don’t just stick to the surface,” Talon moaned as volts of stimulation shot through her system. She repeatedly slapped her claw to his lip and demanded, “Get. Up. In there!” However, doing so caused her flapping to falter, and she nearly fell.
Thomas caught the shrunken griffon and supported his hand under her stomach and chest. He then locked eyes with her and grinned around his mouthful. Next, he adjusted his hold to grant easier access to her chest, enabling him to pinch her shrunken breasts and make her squawk. At the same time, the added leverage helped him push his tongue further into her winking sex. He still didn’t get too far, but the wren’s stronger reactions told him she liked it.
Meanwhile, down in the human’s lap, the mares had changed positions. They now sat up with his redwood wedged between their stomachs. The tip poked beneath their breasts as they hugged one another, trying to pull their marehoods firmly to his hot meat. Somehow, their bodies recognized the oversized male organ and craved it no differently than they usually would. Their marehoods never stopped winking, trying to pull its massive girth inside them. At the same time, intoxicated on male musk and their own hormones, they resumed making out. Their hands couldn’t decide whether to hug the other mare or stroke the mammoth manhood.
Likewise, Silver had also moved on to a new game. Her legs were spread most unladylike as she scissored Honey, with the earth mare raising one leg against the bat’s thigh. Of her tiny options, the green mare was the best able to push back against the ‘giantess’ for maximum stimulation. Silver’s sex winked around most of Honey’s pelvis, while Honey winked over Silver’s clit. They gasped and whimpered as their hips thrust together. To the bat mare, the shrunken earth mare was like a living toy, enchanted with the knowledge and skill to please a mare and enough strength to put those skills to use. For Honey, while she did her best, she still felt dominated by the much larger mare. It was so thrilling to look up and see that the pony she was fucking was big enough to crush her if she felt like it, which she might. Anything might happen, and the possibility enflamed the green mare’s arousal.
At the same time, the littlest of the shrunken mares was following in Talon’s paw steps. Silver’s mouth differed from Thomas’, so the bat mare could take more of the unicorn’s toned ass. Moonlight lay face up with her legs spread as Silver supported her back, drinking her nectar like a glass of wine. The bat mare’s tongue was fairly broad, so while it couldn’t penetrate too far, she more than made up for it with surface area. The oral appendage simultaneously slithered and slurped the unicorn’s marehood, plot, and everything in between and adjacent. Moonlight cried as she felt the vibrations of Silver’s moans thrum through her body. Occasionally, Moonlight tried to speak up and thank the formerly shortest mare, but was silenced each time the bat mare casually fingered her teats.
It was almost insufferable looking at Silver’s face. The big shorty was flushed with arousal, but composed as though sipping an exotic drink at a sophisticated party. Such casual dismissal and silencing was infuriating. However, every so often, the calm façade would break, and Moonlight saw flashes of Silver’s burning lust. The bat mare was putting on a show specifically to irritate her shrunken lover as she licked her sex. Knowing this added a layer of respect to Moonlight’s wrath. Oh, how she would make the bat mare pay once they were back to normal.
“We need to experiment more!” Silver gasped as she came up for air from Moonlight’s sex. “Any s-smaller, and”—she applied a powerful suction to the unicorn’s marehood as her tongue wiggled between the more miniature mare’s ass cheeks—“I could put you inside me.”
It wasn’t clear who she was talking to, but her ‘oppressed’ playthings reasoned it didn’t matter. They were just as drunk on sex as her, so a larger set of moist lips to devour their sensitive bodies sounded pretty damn good, no matter which mouth.
Over in the other group, Thomas had flipped Talon to face up. The human wanted to see her expression as he savored her sweet sex. However, instead, the human got a face full of shrunken griffon tits as she bolted up and clung to him like a face-hugger. He allowed this and decided it’d be fun to tenderly pinch the base of her wings. Her increased humping against his tongue told him he was on the right track. Likewise, he glanced past the avian to the equines below, finding them passionately making out with his shaft and each other. A giant dick for them is probably like giant boobs for me, he reasoned, pumping his dick between their ample bodies. They were soft as velvet, but the small size was much sturdier than usual. Without realizing it, Thomas accidentally pushed the right button, because Talon’s body went stiff as climax took her. Her juices gushed like a geyser into Thomas’ waiting mouth, the flavor giving him his final push.
At last, Thomas came, but the mares were prepared. They sensed the dick’s twitching and planted their mouths over his slit. They guzzled as much erupting seed as possible, its erotic flavor and aroma dousing their burning arousal, if only a little. Even so, most escaped, coating both mares in thick, sticky globs of white. Thomas was a little surprised by how much came out. Typically, the magical mares took everything he gave with barely a drop leaking out. So, technically, he hadn’t seen his load in a while, but was still shocked by the sheer quantity. Was this normal? Had he been cumming this much every time these hotties got him off? He was pretty sure he had once heard that a high sperm count was a sign of good health. If so, then whether it was the Equestrian atmosphere, his new lifestyle, or something else, he was probably the healthiest he’d ever been.
The mares on the human’s crotch had baser concerns. Luna felt that using magic to gather more liquid seed would be cheating. Meanwhile, Surprise did an impersonation of an eating contest champion as she effortlessly swallowed every drop that went in her mouth. At the same time, the mares continued touching one another’s bodies as the burning cock pulsed between them. The feminine softness coupled splendidly with the masculine musk, bringing the pair to the heights of pleasure. They hadn’t realized that their legs had tied up while they were focused on Thomas, but they were informed as their hips jerked and their marehoods exploded onto one another. They cried out in orgasmic bliss as they swallowed, choking only a little as the human’s load petered out.
Meanwhile, over with the other group, Silver was transfixed with Honey. Although Moonlight’s orgasm was delicious, and her lustful cries were like music to the ears, something about the miniature earth mare demanded her attention. They pressed their marehoods together with all their might as their climaxes seized their bodies, and feminine juices sprayed over their thighs. However, Silver felt a more profound rush as she watched Honey’s pitiful body writhe in pleasure. Was this how Luna felt when dominating smaller lovers? If so, it was no wonder the alicorns preferred ponies over minotaurs or creatures closer to their size. The power to induce such a reaction in such a puny creature was exhilarating, perhaps more so than topping for Luna at their regular sizes. She could do whatever she wanted to Honey in this state, and the little green fruit was powerless to resist. At the same time, Silver had a hard time imagining doing anything that didn’t end in the other mare’s blissful o-face.
“H-hey,” Thomas breathlessly called, snickering, “I-I just thought of something,”
“Hmm?” Silver hummed around her mouthful. Moonlight had finished cumming, but plenty of juices still needed to be cleaned. She also held Honey against her abdomen while watching Thomas’ lovers in equal states of dishevelment. It was turning her back on.
Thomas chuckled as he formulated the words. “With great power… comes great responsibility… to fuck a shorty’s brains out.”
“Woo!” Surprise cheered.
“D-damn right!” Talon huffed.
“Finally, someone else who understands my plight,” Luna dramatically declared, failing the fight against her spreading grin.
“W-wait, y-ya’ll jus’ now figured that o-out?” Honey tiredly questioned. “Sh-shameful. ‘N’ you call yerselves tallies.”
“I-I never called myself that,” Moonlight chirped. “Also, I just figured that went without saying.”
“Well, this is news to me,” Silver tiredly remarked. “However, mark my words; I will uphold this creed to my dying—”
However, before the bat mare could finish, another flash of light enveloped the room. When it passed, Silver suddenly found herself crushed beneath one of her favorite sights. Specifically, Moonlight’s orange plot was inches from her face, her spread cheeks leaving nothing to the imagination. Simultaneously, she felt a familiar and powerful marehood pressed against hers and saw Honey’s golden locks poking out behind Moonlight. “—breath,” she gasped beneath the regrown mares.
Thomas suffered a similar plight. There was zero distance between his face and Talon’s rump. This wasn’t surprising for the most experienced concubine in the room, as she considered herself well-versed in alicorn shenanigans and had intuition on when and how to move. The griffon had already pushed her saliva-covered ass atop her favorite human’s face and wiggled her cheeks to wedge his nose against her pucker. This put his mouth beneath her pussy as she continued grinding.
Things weren’t so clean for the winged mares, literally. Thomas’ cum had grown with them, so they were still covered in globs of white. Well, it was off-white against Surprise’s fur, looking like she’d lost in a gameshow. Luckily, the big-breasted mares managed not to bump heads as their massive mammaries engulfed Thomas’ lower body and even bumped Talon’s knees.
“Hehe, look at your manes,” snickered the griffon as she continued riding Thomas’ face. “Better get the extra strength shampoo, and quick. Ya don’t want that to stain. Trust me.”
“She’s right. We better hurry,” Surprise said with a mischievous grin. She then leaned forward to lick Luna’s cheek. “Mmh, yummy. Though, I guess I’ll have to do more to clean this up.”
Luna huffed indignantly as she licked a glob from Surprise’s right breast. “As if We will allow you to shoulder this burden alone.”
“Can the colt even breathe under all that?” Honey inquired.
Talon looked over her shoulder to check the human’s exposed upper face. He grinned and gave a thumbs-up. “Yeah, he’s good. I taught this chimp well.”
“Wait, you taught him?” Moonlight questioned, moving her plot back to engulf Silver’s snout. “I always thought he carried that from his world.”
“Yeah, he had the ideas, but we practiced a bunch, so I feel like I deserve partial credit,” Talon reasoned. She then leaned forward and slid her tongue over Luna’s shoulder. “Mmm, basted alicorn. You guys should try some before she goes stale and crusty,” she said while meeting Luna’s aghast expression with defiant eyes. “You heard me.”
“So, this is pretty fun,” Surprise commented as she pushed the grocery cart through the store’s aisles and intermittently stopped to investigate various items.
Thomas stared in wonder at the variety of foods displayed on the tall shelves. It all seemed so familiar, yet just different enough to be distinctly other worldly. Canned and boxed food with mascot brands, every size one could imagine, beige floors and walls beneath humming lights, and all so passably organized by workers who were probably paid minimum wage to do a job they barely cared about. Well, that last part may have been in Thomas’ head, but the rest was perfectly in keeping with his vision of a standard grocery store. “Ya know, I used to work in a place like this,” he commented as he followed beside the white mare.
“Ya don’t say.”
“I do. I worked at the deli. We made sandwiches, sliced meat, and—”
“Did you cut the cheese?” Surprise interjected.
Thomas smiled up at the mare. “I could almost feel that coming.”
“Hehe, yeah. I guess it was pretty low-hanging fruit, huh?”
“Yup. Also, the answer is obviously yes. I’m not sure there’s any way we could’ve gotten around it. I mean, like it or not, the cheese needs to be cut sooner or later.”
“Wait, are you talking about literal cheese or the other thing?”
Thomas stared blankly at Surprise and gave his flattest reply. “Yes.”
Surprise snickered. “Okay, now I could sense that coming. Hehe. I think it’s a good sign when friends can anticipate each other’s humor.”
“I guess, but when you put it like that, it sounds like we’re getting predictable. That doesn’t seem ideal.”
“Eh, depends on how you look at it.” Surprise stopped to examine a box of pasta with a smiling noodle on the front. “We’ve all got stuff about us that’s pretty predictable. Ponies are creatures of habit, and I’m pretty sure humans are, too.”
“No argument.”
“But I think there’s a difference between content and boring. Honestly, I don’t think anypony’s ever called me boring before.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
“However, they can always predict that I’ll do whatever I can to lift any downed spirits. That’s just who I am and what I like to do.”
“Okay, I’ve been thinking this ever since we met, but you remind me so much of Pinkie Pie.”
“Aww, that’s sweet.”
“It’s actually a little concerning. See, in that one story I told our boss”—Thomas began, his deliberate obscurity alerting Surprise to his meaning—“stories go through a lot of rewrites before they’re published. Story elements are added, come in conflict with others, and are thrown out all the time. Also, characters are redesigned. The writers had a bunch of character models on standby to use, so when they came up with the Elements, their initial plan for Laughter was a pegasus named Surprise.”
Surprise’s contented smile morphed to concerned curiosity. “So, was I supposed to be an Element?”
“That depends. Were you there at the Summer Sun Celebration?”
“Not really. When word of the Princess’ disappearance spread, reserves like me were activated all over the country to start the search. Although, my team wasn’t anywhere near Ponyville.”
Thomas pursed his lips. “Then I guess not. I’m probably just making a big deal out of—”
“Wait!” Surprise cut in. “I just remembered. It was a few days earlier; they were asking for volunteers to head to the town for extra security. I was gonna sign up, but then I caught a nasty cold. It went away pretty quick, just in time for the emergency. But, if that hadn’t happened, I guess I could have been in Ponyville.” She turned a serious look on Thomas. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking about a story I read that was never finished. (1) It was about how destiny sometimes makes backups for certain roles. Like, if the original fails for whatever reason, someone still has to do the job, so the backup does it.” Thomas mirrored Surprise’s concern. “Is that a thing, or am I talking out of my ass?” He hoped for the latter.
“Honestly, that sounds like it could be a thing,” Surprise acknowledged with a morbid laugh. “I mean, I’ve never heard of destiny having backups. That almost sounds like something out of the old, pre-Equestrian stories.” Realizing she still held the box of pasta, she set it back on the shelf. “So, I could have been an Element Bearer?”
“Maybe. I mean, if you’d gone to Ponyville, met Twilight, and—wait, what about Luna?” Thomas realized. “Isn’t being with her, like, your secondary destiny?”
Surprise’s eyes went wide. “Oh, you’re right. The Element Bearers all live in Ponyville to keep in synch or something, but I have to stay in Canterlot to stay close to my favorite ponies,” she emphasized, exhaling in relief. “Phew! I was getting scared for a second.”
“Yeah, me too. I was worried I’d just stumbled on some crazy conspiracy, but you’re right. Twilight needs all her friends close by so they can do… things. That wouldn’t work so well long distance. So, it’s all just a really weird coincidence that story writers used your likeness.”
“Yeah, but that is pretty weird, though. I mean, what if they’d stuck with me? Would that have made me the Element Bearer?”
“I have no freaking idea,” Thomas admitted. “That kind of writing is a group effort. Everyone pitches random ideas, and then they decide what works best. Originally, Nightmare Moon was supposed to be a season-long arc, but they changed it to a two-part series premiere. There’s too much alike for it just to be a coincidence, but I don’t know what else it could be. Did this random group of writers spontaneously connect to this world, but saw it through a filter that obscured everything, so it’s only similar, but not identical?”
Surprise blinked. “You’ve been thinking about this a lot, huh?”
“A little. I’m also pulling from a bunch of other stories I’ve seen to make a semi-cohesive theory.”
“Perhaps it would be better to save such speculations for elsewhere,” Jet informed. She followed the pair seemingly in the nude to avoid attracting attention, but secretly wore a glamour to conceal her armor. She also carried a small shopping bag with only a few items. It was light enough that she could drop it in an emergency, but the items were hard enough to make an adequate bludgeon if need be.
“Oops, my bad,” Surprise admitted with a friendly wave to the guard. “Though, I’d like to hear what you think, too. This idea is a little freaky, but also kind of fun.”
“Thank you for the offer. However, I’m not the imaginative sort. I wouldn’t know where to start,” Jet dissuaded. Although, she swore she could practically hear Firestorm’s pen scratching away. That demented fart ate up each and every ludicrous idea that dribbled from the alien’s mouth. Worse was how many of these ideas turned out at least partially based in reality.
Surprise faced Thomas as they turned down the next aisle. “So, if you could be an Element Bearer, which would you choose?” She then looked out the corner of her eye, almost daring Jet to silence her.
Thomas hummed as he eyed the shelves, mostly filled with cookies and other sweets. “I’m not sure. I’m pretty stingy and frugal, so generosity is out. Why are we shopping for groceries when we can order whatever we want for free from room service?”
“Because, silly, this is a thing that mares and stallions do together. You buy food so you can prepare and eat it together. It’s more meaningful that way.”
“Well, can’t argue with that,” Thomas conceded. “So, did you have anything special in mind?”
“Ah-ah, we’re still on the Elements,” Surprise corrected. “Personally, I think you’d be a good honesty or loyalty.”
“I self-censor all the time because I’m worried people might take what I say the wrong way. And I don’t think my loyalty’s ever been tested, so it’s hard to say if I’d be good there or not.”
“Hmm, well, I think loyalty would be good for you. Remember when Honey and I first applied? You were pretty nervous about even touching us. I remember you were constantly checking with Moonlight or Luna to make sure it was okay and you weren’t making them feel like you were putting them aside for us.”
“I think that’s more foreign norms than loyalty, though. I just didn’t want to do something that might upset somebody, whether you or them.”
Surprise frowned. “You’re making it really hard to compliment you.”
“Yeah, I can be an annoying little prick when I want to,” Thomas evenly replied, prompting Surprise to snort a laugh.
“Hey, I thought we already agreed I’m Laughter. Don’t try taking my Element from me.”
“Well, maybe you’re the real loyalty.”
“Huh?”
“Think about it. You’re with the reserves, which are basically soldiers, and loyalty is one of a soldier’s most important traits. When you thought you had a chance to have power and fame from the Elements, you were torn by your loyalty to your friends and were relieved when you could stay with them. Also, making it your personal mission to lift everyone’s mood is a pretty loyal trait when you think about it.”
Surprise blinked. “Wait, so, I’m the Rainbow Dash of our group?”
“But with extra cushion to soften landings.”
A wide grin spread across the white mare’s face. “Me likey.”
Jet listened impassively as she followed along, ears ever at attention and eyes peeled for anything suspicious. She caught Surprise’s ears also pivoting to an excessive degree, showing that she was just as alert to any potential risks. The white mare would definitely be a worthy ally if trouble arose, but Jet liked her for other reasons. She had a friendly, almost magnetic personality that was difficult not to appreciate. However, that was just her social face. Jet had read enough of the big mare’s body language to see the warrior’s spirit beneath the unassuming visage. It was a masterful disguise that the bat mare’s peers would praise, not least because it wasn’t a façade. The mare was naturally warm and friendly, and all of her bubbly interactions were genuine. No one would suspect she was anything more than a friendly do-gooder unless they knew what to look for. As she thought this, Jet also feared that Firestorm might somehow hear her thoughts and later chastise her for not being so fluffy in public. She didn’t think Firestorm could read minds without expensive equipment, but if he could, he’d probably do that just to mess with her.
“Anyway, I wanted to hear more about this Karen meme thing you mentioned earlier,” Surprise continued. “So, what’s the deal? Are they just mean ladies with bugs up their collective butts? And why is there a Karen hairstyle?”
Thomas shrugged as he watched the white mare fill the cart with baking supplies. “Hard to say. I think a meme just means an idea that’s passed around, so it’s pretty broad and can mean just about anything. With the internet, it’s kinda whatever some random person mentions that takes off in popularity. I don’t know how this one started, but a Karen is generally a super entitled person who feels the need to make strangers conform to his or her petty demands.”
“His?”
“Yeah, there are male Karens. It’s basically anyone who’s incapable of just minding their own business and goes outside looking to cause trouble. Like, I remember this one story of a guy just sitting by himself and reading a manga in a library. A Karen walked up and demanded he stop because the country that produces manga did a bunch of bad stuff to her country decades ago, and probably before she was even born. When the guy says he’s also from her country, she just starts shrieking that he’s a traitor and blah-blah-blah. She was told to leave for shouting in the library, and that’s kind of a standard formula for a Karen story.”
Surprise’s face twisted in a mix of confusion and disgust. “What was even the point of that? What did she get out of bothering some stranger over quietly reading?”
Thomas shook his head. “Some people get satisfaction from making others smile. Others get it from making them frown. That’s just how some people are.”
“But… why? What did she have to gain from making a stranger feel bad about reading something?”
“Well, if she got him to leave the building, she thinks she can count it as a win. She just imposed her authority and got a lesser lifeform to leave her presence.”
“It sounds as though humans may be polite to a fault,” Jet observed. “If a mare tried acting like that in my old neighborhood, she might make the local dentist very happy.” Her threatening implication was clear.
“Same,” agreed Surprise. “Or, no pony would ever play with her, and she’d be all alone until she changed her attitude.”
“Karens are also notorious for playing the victim. They might attack you while screaming that you’re attacking them. One famous case called the police on a black guy just for walking in her proximity at a park. Somebody filmed him just standing there looking confused while she was being all dramatic over the phone.” Then Thomas remembered who he was talking to. “Humans have skin color instead of tribe, so Karens also tend to be pretty bigoted.”
“Let me see if I have this correct,” Jet began. “The Karen phenomenon is common enough that there are observable common themes in their behaviors, and your society allows such anti-social behavior to fester?”
“Fester is a good word for it, yes,” Thomas agreed.
Jet and Surprise shared a look, both seemingly aghast that the human was so accepting and unoffended.
“I think I heard stuff like this is a symptom of people having it too easy. See, we evolved to live in a harsh environment, which we did for 99% of our history. However, the last few decades have been freakishly easy compared to what came before. Sure, there are still problems, often global, but external hardships are at an all-time low. Some people can’t cope with this and make trouble where there isn’t any. Others grew up super sheltered, so they never learned how to deal with real problems and go all to pieces if anything bad happens. Then there are people who make careers about lecturing others to deal with these self-made problems, and you look kinda dizzy.”
“I feel dizzy,” Surprise admitted as she stopped to steady herself while gripping her forehead. “Why do humans make so many problems for themselves?”
Thomas lightly chuckled as he affectionately patted Surprise’s hip. “It might be as I said. We’re not designed to live in such comfort, so some people feel compelled to ruin things to feel more at home like things were centuries ago. It’s a paradox, and lots of people make lots of money just studying it and giving their theories.”
“But you’re not like that,” Surprise countered, her tone imploring.
Thomas shrugged. “I’m an introvert with possible autism. I like to think before I speak, so I don’t rock the boat. My life is pretty good right now, and I’d rather not do anything to lose that.”
“Would humanity be improved if more humans were like you?” Jet inquired.
Thomas snickered and shook his head. “Not even close. If I weren’t surrounded by extroverts, I’d barely talk at all. In my old life, even when I found someone I could talk with, I always felt anxious about asking them to do stuff outside our usual meetings. I used to have a friend I liked hanging out with at school. I almost never called her because I was worried I might interrupt something.”
“How is that an issue?” Jet asked. “If you were truly friends, she’d just ask you to contact her later.”
“Yeah, but being an introvert can be a real pain in the plot,” Surprise countered, now with her hand on Thomas’ shoulder. “You’re comfortable by yourself, but you also wish somepony would invite you to be with them, right?”
Thomas nodded.
“That’s not an issue in Equestria. Here, I think the extrovert to introvert ratio is, like, five to one. We’ve got introverts, but us extroverts like to spend our time hunting them down, so they don’t have time to feel lonely,” Surprise boasted, pushing out her chest in pride.
“And that’s why you’d make a great Laughter or Loyalty,” Thomas replied as he covered his hand over hers. “It seems like ponies are just naturally more friendly.”
“A sweet but misguided sentiment,” Jet interjected. “Ponies still have the capacity for criminality and general dickishness—assuming I’m using that correctly.”
“No, that sounds right,” Thomas confirmed. “Even so, it seems a lot less than humans.”
Jet tried not to show how much this pleased her. “Perhaps. Although, we’ll never know for certain without further contact between our species.” Alicorns, forbid, she thought.
“Talon hopes to go to the human world so she can have a harem of dudes,” Thomas remarked.
“Oh, that’s a good idea,” Surprise chirped, finally resuming their walk. “Hmm, although, if humans really have so many more introverts, then I’m gonna have to get with some buddies to make more organized hunting parties. No pony is allowed to be lonely on Surprise’s watch!” she boldly declared while raising her fist in the air.
“Or you could just post something online.”
“Huh…?”
“Yeah, online dating is super popular. I don’t know if it’s effective in forming lasting relationships, but if people found out they could date a bunch of super sexy pony people who like to go naked, that site would blow up.”
Surprise frowned. “If it blows up, how does that help?”
“No, blowing up, in this case, means getting a lot of views. Like, the popularity gets so big it explodes.”
“Ah, I get it.” Surprise giggled. “You’ve got a funny way of talking. I like it.”
‘Funny’ wasn’t the word Jet would use. Likewise, she was less enthusiastic about the prospect of mass interspecies dating. She’d never thought about it before, as Equestria was largely homogenous, with less than a percent of the population being a non-pony. However, while she still didn’t fully grasp concepts like the internet, she understood enough to conclude that a stable portal between the worlds would lead to drastic changes almost overnight. Even if good things came out of it, such as mutually beneficial trade deals, friction between the species would invariably lead to problems that ponies like her would have to clean up. Thusly, in Jet’s mind, the best approach was simply to prevent such a mess from ever forming. While her superiors debated the merits of such a large-scale interaction, Jet firmly believed that a single human was preferable to millions.
However, Jet’s internal musings were cut short when she sensed hoof steps approaching from behind. She turned to face the green unicorn mare, but was cut off before she could speak.
“Yes, hello. I’ve been trying to get your attention for half an hour. It’s very rude to ignore somepony like that.”
No fucking way, Thomas thought as he stared at the new mare. Her fur was green, her purple mane was done up in a poof that vaguely resembled a beehive, and her lip was curled up as though she’d detected an offensive smell. There’s just no way.
“I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t realize you were following me before I came into the store,” Jet politely replied.
“Whatever.” The green mare pulled a slip of paper from a purse that looked like a kid went nuts with the bedazzler. “I have a list right here,” she said while holding out the list, annoyed by Jet’s lack of response. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Aren’t you going to help me?” demanded the green mare in a voice like nails on a chalkboard. “You’re clearly not helping those two, so you might as well do your job and help me.”
“Sweet fuck…” Thomas said in muted awe. Then, at Surprise’s confusion, he elaborated in a whisper, “I think that’s a Karen.”
Jet felt like she’d just taken a slap to the face. They’d just established multiple ways that ponies were superior to humans, and then this waste of space had the audacity to counter everything with her mere existence. Wait, no. Thomas had to be mistaken. Ponies had problems, but not human problems. Ponies didn’t act like entitled brats who needlessly imposed their wills on hapless pedestrians… often. There had to be a way to peacefully resolve this without denigrating the species. “I’m sorry, miss, but I don’t work here.”
“Of course, you do,” groused the green mare, a mixture of absolute offense and indignation dripping from her every word. “You’re wearing that cheap necklace just like all the other employees,” she said while gesturing to the modestly expensive silver chain that housed Jet’s glamour.
“Are you sure?” Surprise whispered back to Thomas.
“It’s like it’s word for word.”
Jet’s heart sank, but she did not lose hope. “Ma’am, the employees all wear black aprons and have name tags. I don’t have either, so…” She trailed off, praying the mare would take the hint, realize her mistake, apologize, and walk away like a sensible pony.
“Say, you’re right,” commented the green mare.
Jet dared to let her spirits lift.
“How dare you walk around with an incomplete uniform,” she hissed. “I’m going—”
“To tell your manager,” Thomas interjected, his words overlapping hers and causing her eyes to fall upon him. Now he’d done it. He’d drawn a Karen’s attention while she was in the process of building a tirade and had doomed himself to be the focus of her wrath. Now that it was happening to him, Thomas’ expression was neutral as only one thought played out in his head. Bring it, bitch!
“You! How dare you speak to me that way. Ma’am, you need to control your colt.”
“I’d like to, really,” Surprise said with a shrug. “But then he starts spanking me, and it’s all downhill from there.”
Thomas stared intently at Surprise as he tried to share his thoughts telepathically. Hell yeah!
“What!? Are you some kind of deviant? I’ll report you to foal services!”
“Nice try, miss, but I’m a grown-assed man. I don’t think they can do much.”
“What?” The green mare took a closer look at Thomas, her face still scrunched in perpetual disgust. “Oh, I see. So the degenerate is dating a deformed dwarf. How fitting.”
Surprise gave the cart to Thomas, and bodily turned to face the enemy. “Wanna say that again?” she asked while wearing the brightest smile, bristling her fur in agitation, and cracking her knuckles. It was an expression that gave Jet chills just for being in its general direction. However, the Karen mare seemed utterly immune, or perhaps oblivious would be better.
“Peh. You’re only proving my point by resorting to violence in a place where civilized ponies come to shop. How’d you even get in here? Doesn’t this place have any standards?”
“Apparently not,” Thomas tried to retort, but his words stumbled over Jet’s as she spoke simultaneously. “They let you in here, so no.” The pair shared a look.
“And you,” the Karen mare turned her attention back on Jet. “Didn’t I tell you to get the manager?”
“No, but he did,” Jet said while gesturing at Thomas. “You see him, don’t you? He’s the one standing beside the mare who looks like she could teach you to fly with one punch.”
“How dare you speak that way to a paying customer? Do you have any idea who I am?”
“It’s like she’s reading from a script,” Thomas marveled at the uncanny display.
“I do not, and I think I was happier before you forced your existence into my life,” Jet deadpanned. “Please leave.”
The Karen mare seemed taken aback by Jet’s remark. “What kind of employee are you?”
“The kind who sympathizes with foals who learn too soon that fairies aren’t the ones who deliver presents on Hearth’s Warming.”
“Huh?”
“Lady, you killed her innocence,” Surprise answered while giving Jet apologetic eyes. She didn’t know what innocent notion the mare had taken from the guard, but she sympathized with her fellow wounded soul.
“I’m a foreigner, and even I caught that one,” Thomas added, somewhat honestly, but mostly to be an asshole and push the Karen mare’s buttons. He’d been low-key dreaming of this moment since he first learned about the meme and was keen on enjoying this experience.
“Foreigner?” the Karen mare whispered in the same predatory manner Silver might use upon discovering new Luna merchandise. “You. You’re not even a pony, are you?”
Thomas had the perfect line. He wanted to say, ‘Crap, she’s onto us.’ Or maybe he could go with asking, ‘Wait, am I not?’ and then pat himself down while pretending he’d transformed to really throw her for a loop. There were several lines that all seemed so fitting, but the mare cut him off before he could pick.
“Manager! Manager!” she shouted in the traditional mating call of the Karen. Then, wandering off, she continued screaming, “I need a manager.” Finally, she disappeared around an aisle.
While keeping her gaze where the mare disappeared, Surprise grabbed for Thomas and possessively pulled him to her side. “Was that really a Karen?”
Thomas nodded. “She even had the hair.”
“I propose we leave and deescalate the situation,” Jet stated. “There’s no need to stoop to her level and needlessly cause trouble.”
“But if we do, she’ll think she won and keep doing this to other ponies,” Surprise countered. “She’s got to know this kind of behavior is unacceptable.”
“She’s not our responsibility,” Jet argued. “Yours and Thomas’ safety is, along with the Princess’ reputation. What will ponies say if her concubines end up in a cell for starting brawls?”
“What? She started it,” Surprise insisted.
“If she provokes you to start the violence, she wins,” Thomas interjected. “Jet’s right. We can just leave and come back later.”
Jet nodded. “Thank you, but why do you sound disappointed?”
“Honestly, I was kinda having fun riling her up,” Thomas admitted as the mares gave him dirty looks. “What? She deserved it, and you wanted to hit her,” he said to Surprise.
“I wanted to teach her lesson cuz she insulted my stallion,” Surprise corrected. “Of course, I want to hit her. But Jet’s right. We can’t make trouble for the Princess. And you”—she pointed a finger in Thomas’ face—“shouldn’t upset a mare whose just acting out cuz she’s unhappy. At least, I hope that’s the reason.”
Thomas pursed his lips. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s just go and—”
“There they are!” shrieked the Karen mare. She pointed triumphantly down the aisle as a pink earth stallion wearing a black apron stood behind her.
Thomas blinked as he faced the others. “Seriously, it’s freaky how much this fits the stories.”
As the incarnation of constipation marched with purpose down the aisle, and the assumed manager followed in confusion, Jet positioned herself between the concubines and potential threat while Surprise held tightly to Thomas. The human, meanwhile, couldn’t decide between dropping his jaw and bursting out in guffaws.
“That’s them, manager. That’s the employee who accosted me just for asking for help with my list. Then those two ganged up on me, and I’m pretty sure the little one is some kind of illegally imported furless ape or something. Arrest them.”
The manager’s name tag read Bean Sprout Billiard, and he stared in confusion between the three accused parties. “Which was the employee, again?”
“Ugh, obviously, the one who’s not in uniform.”
Surprise snorted a short laugh. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just… wow.”
“See, I told ya,” Thomas said in vindication.
“Ma’am, none of these ponies are in uniform,” Bean informed.
“Must I do everything myself?” snarled the Karen mare. “The bat pony without a name tag. See, she’s not even wearing a proper necklace thingy for her name tag. It’s just a piece of cheap costume jewelry,” she hatefully described.
Jet had no way to prove it, but she had no doubt that Firestorm was eating popcorn this very moment.
Bean stared at Jet with the same intensity usually reserved for complex puzzles. However, try as he might, he couldn’t solve this one. “Ma’am, what makes you think she’s an employee?”
“Well, I saw her helping those two, but she wasn’t doing much. So, I politely asked if she could help fetch a few things for me. Instead, she started shouting anti-unicorn slurs at me. So, I demand you fire and arrest her.”
“Okay, yeah, there’s definitely a script involved,” Thomas blurted.
“Shut up, monkey!”
“Talk to him like that again, ass. See what happens!” Surprise threatened.
“Now, now, let’s all calm down,” Bean gently urged as he interjected himself between the volatile mares. Whether he was bravely doing his duty or too tired to sense the danger was unclear. “Ma’am, none of these ponies work here.”
“What? How dare you try to cover for them!”
“Ma’am, I’m not covering for anypony,” Bean said with careful slowness. “I’m just telling you that—”
“And stop calling me ma’am,” the Karen mare barked with increasing volume. “I’m Caring Kelvin, Canterlot’s foremost domestic chef and president of the city’s most exclusive HOA.”
“You mentioned that before, right?” Surprise asked. Then, at Thomas’ nod, she added, “You’re right. This is scary.”
The possible connection between their worlds was enough of an existential headache for Jet. However, adding a potential new layer to the human’s Oracle abilities was a step too far. Even updating the paperwork for such a thing would be a nightmare, let alone the actual implications of the human having such predictive abilities.
“What’s a domestic chef, anyway?” Thomas whispered.
“I don’t know. She cooks for her family, maybe?” Surprise uncertainly offered.
“Hey! What are you two whispering about?” Caring asked, sounding like she was playing the bad cop in an interrogation. “I’ll have you know I can lock you both up with one word.”
“Weren’t you trying to do that anyway? So, what’s changed?” Surprise asked, noticing Thomas’ cheeky half-grin and Jet’s condemning scowl. She hung her head and said, “I’m sorry.”
“Not yet you’re not, but you will be,” Caring threatened, a devious grin splitting her face.
“Ms. Caring,” Bean cut in. “I’d like to ask them some questions.”
“Why? Are you a guard?”
“No, ma’am, but—”
“Then who cares! Just call the proper guards to have these criminals locked away in the deepest, darkest dungeon.”
“The fact you seem to think that’s possible makes me question the future of this nation,” Jet deadpanned as she pinched her silver chain necklace. “I’m done with this farce.”
“What? What are you—oh?”
Jet’s armor was revealed in a flash as the dark night colors heavily contrasted with the store’s bright beige. Her eyes said that she was in no mood. “Corporal Jet Black, Luna’s Night Guard. I’m here guarding these two”—she motioned to Thomas and Surprise—“from genuine threats, as well as aggravating troglodytes.” She leveled a gaze on the manager as her armor’s enchantment gave her eyes an intimidating yellow glow. “May we leave?”
Realizing he was way over his head, manager Bean grabbed Caring’s shoulders. “Y-yes, o-of course.”
“What? How dare you touch me! Let me go, this instant. I’ll have all your jobs for this!”
“Do as you will,” Jet allowed as she motioned for Thomas and Surprise to move ahead as they continued pushing the cart.
“Don’t tell me you buy this,” Caring spat at the manager. “They’re smuggling that monkey, I tell you!”
While Thomas was generally averse to conflict, given his present company, he felt emboldened to give this mare the bird. “Suck it.”
Caring blinked in annoyed confusion. “What’s that even mean?”
Bean closed his eyes and took a breath as though praying for strength. “Ma’am, context suggests he just insulted you.”
Whoa, definitely not a manager from Earth, Thomas thought, giddy as could be.
“What? And you’re just letting him get away?”
“E’yup,” Bean replied, demonstrating his heritage by lifting the mare clear over his while pinching her horn. “Now, hold still while I put you on the ban list.”
“How dare you! You haven’t heard the last of me!” she screamed as he carried her to the other end of the store.
“Chh, I’ll be we haven’t,” Surprise grumbled as she stared straight ahead. “I’m sure half the neighborhood heard her.”
“Hey, you okay?” Thomas asked, forgetting his amusement upon noticing Surprise’s twitching eye.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just bummed that she stole my good mood.”
Thomas put on a reassuring smile as he lifted his arm over the tall mare’s lower back. “For what it’s worth, you were pretty loyal back there.”
“That? That was nothing. I was just a mare protecting my stallion. Anypony would have done the same.”
Thomas decided not to dwell on the potential interpretations behind my stallion and just focus on what mattered. “I’m sorry you had to, though. I shouldn’t have egged her on.”
“No, you shouldn’t,” Surprise agreed. “Then again, you were right. Ponies like that want to be upset. You made it worse, but I don’t think anything would’ve made it better.”
“Maybe. Next time, we’ll know to walk away before the Karen calls the manager.”
“Stars above, I hope there isn’t a next time!” Surprise bemoaned.
Jet quietly agreed and marched on behind them, her shiny armor now attracting a lot of attention. However, so long as a potential threat persisted, she dared not reset the glamour. Her mood was just as foul as Surprise’s, but she was better at concealing it.
“Yeah, same, but is there something I can do to make it better?” Thomas pleaded. He hated the idea that the white bundle of warmth might be upset with him.
Detecting Thomas’ tone, Surprise exhaled and patted his shoulder. “We were both a little dumb back there. Let’s just agree not to make the same mistakes and call it even, okay?”
Thomas pursed his lips. “You still defended me.”
“Yeah, but that’s just what friends do.”
“I don’t,” Thomas coldly countered. “You guys always do stuff like this for me, but what do I give back?”
“Friendship isn’t a competition, Thomas. You can’t think about it like a trade.”
“Well, it’s hard not to when one side is obviously giving more than the other. Remember when I said I didn’t want to rock the boat because I liked my comfy life? Well, I’m rocking the boat. I’m rocking it cuz I hate feeling like I do nothing for you guys.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, if we weren’t friends, I’d probably slap you silly for badmouthing my friend like that,” Surprise plainly stated as some of her chipper tone returned.
“Hmm?”
Surprise led them to a secluded area in the store for a more private talk. “Thomas, you’re a stallion. I know you’re not, but it’s hard not to see you that way sometimes. And, as a mare, it’s my obligation to protect stallions, especially the small and cute kind. If I didn’t stand up for you back there, I would probably feel as bad as you do right now. Every mare in the harem would. That’s just how ponies are. And unlike you, I’m not so reserved about doing what I want because I know I’ll regret it later if I don’t.”
Thomas’ lips twisted as he searched for the right words. “Yeah, and humans are the opposite.”
Surprise nodded. “Maybe, but is it really so bad to have a mare look after you? Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve been protected by plenty of tough stallions, so it’s no skin off my back if the roles are reversed.”
“It’s more than that, though,” Thomas insisted. “We didn’t need to be here because I get all the food I want from the castle. And I get it because I’m an over-glorified prostitute.”
Surprise continued to nod as she visibly struggled to contemplate Thomas’ words. “Help me see the problem here.”
Thomas rolled his eyes.
“No, I’m serious. I’m in the same boat as you. I got a free room, all I can eat, and I actually passed out the first time I saw my paycheck. This is a bucking cushy job, and all that’s before you count the actual work,” Surprise explained with air quotes. Then it occurred to her. “Wait, do you not think your job is real work?”
Thomas averted his gaze. “It’s more like a fantasy come true.”
Surprise shrugged. “Yeah, without a doubt, but it’s still work. I mean, you’re not the only one who has to take supplements just to keep up when you-know-who gets in one of her moods. There are ponies who make twice as much as us and never break a sweat because that’s how much their work is worth. Meanwhile, I’ve had sessions where it felt like I was going to die, but all I could think about was how my face hurt from smiling so much. That’s my life. It’s my job, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Also, I guess it’s been a while since you saw my room, but you would not believe the stuff I’ve splurged on just because I could. If you think you’re bad, I’m way worse.”
Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to think up a counter. He couldn’t say that he hadn’t earned the position. The only qualification was the boss’ desire, which they both passed. He couldn’t say that he only had this life because of dumb luck. Surprise would retort that her being drawn by destiny was the same thing, only more overt because she’s a pony. At least, that’s how Thomas figured that argument would go. Overthinking was a major reason he preferred to avoid arguments. He could seldom beat himself, so it was generally easier to stay quiet. “It’s just… I don’t know.”
Surprise got on one knee to be closer to eye level. “Hey, dumb chimp, look at me,” she commanded, eventually drawing Thomas’ attention. “If our roles were reversed, you’d be doing the same thing I am. Right now, I’m upset that you’re upset, and I’m even more upset at myself for not knowing how to fix it, but I’m trying. I’m trying to help my friend feel better because I’d feel like a total ass face if I didn’t. That’s just who I am. And if I was ever feeling glum and didn’t know why, I know you’d be right here, trying whatever you could to cheer me up. That’s just who you are. The only difference I see is that I already know this stuff, but you need reminding.” She finished with a grin that could melt the coldest heart.
Thomas finally allowed himself to smile.
“Better?”
“Yeah, but I still feel bad for not doing anything for you back there.”
“Oh, I see. So, would it help if I gave you a penalty? You did a bad thing, and bad things deserve punishment. That way, you fairly faced justice, but mostly you can feel like you made it up to me.”
“Hmm. Ya know, that could work.”
Surprise’s smile grew wide and borderline blinding, but with hints of something devious and sinister. “Then, when we get back home, and the boss calls us to work, how about I call the shots? You’re pretty good at pacing yourself most of the time, but let’s see if I can push you where I usually go. Do what I say for my gratification, and I’ll call us even. Sound fair?”
“Hmm, that sounds needlessly risky, stupid, and like it might hurt.”
“We’ll use a safe word.”
“Fuck it. Let’s do this thing.”
“Yaaay!” Surprise shot up and rapidly applauded as she bounced on her hooves. She didn’t care how she drew every eye in the area to her jiggling, voluptuous curves. All that mattered was she’d helped a friend out of his funk. That other thing was merely a bonus.
Meanwhile, Jet reaffirmed her positive feelings toward Surprise. She had a bad habit of liking ponies who were frighteningly skilled manipulators.
“I feel somewhat anxious,” Silver admitted as they walked down the aisles, perusing the shelves and clothes displays.
“About what?” asked Blue Sapphire.
Silver pulled a red dress from a stand and turned it around for examination a second before replacing it. “I am not sure. I suppose it just occurred to me that we do not hang out much by ourselves. Well, outside of my on-call duties, that is,” she added with a wry grin and a flirtatious wink.
“Agreed. That is why I proposed this outing. You and I need more private bonding time.”
Silver chuckled and opened her mouth to retort.
“Bonding outside the bedroom,” Blue amended. “There are other ways to be intimate, you know.”
“Ah, well, fair enough,” Silver conceded as she idly appraised the blue mare beside her. “Your proportions are somewhat smaller compared to your usual figure. Is this how high-level casters try different outfits?”
“Something like that. Do you like it?”
Silver chuckled. “You know I prefer your full glory, but this is fine. Although, I am now imagining the staff’s faces when you take something for your real size into the changing room, and it still fits.”
Blue also giggled. “Yes, that will be amusing, but I must press the issue.” She stopped and turned around, angling her body to emphasize different areas. “I may be going through a self-conscious phase about my body.”
“You?” Silver almost laughed, but stopped to be supportive. “A literal goddess, the standard by which our society measures beauty, is worried about her body?”
“That’s why I’m worried,” Blue admitted. “Do I come off as intimidating? Sometimes I fear I might be too sexy, and that ponies don’t feel free to honestly express themselves around me.”
It was growing increasingly difficult for Silver not to snicker. “My dearest, Blue, if it makes you feel better, I feel free to honestly express how annoyed I am right now.”
Blue furrowed her brow.
“I apologize, but what you said is almost the embodiment of rich pony problems. You look too pretty, your magic is too powerful, ponies are too intimidated by your wealth and status. I am sorry, but I simply cannot relate, as I am too busy imagining what I would do with curves like yours.”
Blue frowned. “You’re right. I’m being silly.”
“Correct, which means you are not intimidating,” Silver pointed out. “You see what I’m getting at? It is the attitude that truly sets the tone.”
“Hmm, you may be onto something,” Blue allowed as she bent over to investigate something. “This was not a concern before my banishment. Centuries ago, ponies were meant to bow and submit. These days, however, sister has cultivated a culture of approachability. And I am compelled to abide, lest I be known as the unapproachable Princess.” Blue then held up two pairs of knee-length socks. The left was gray with black stripes, while the other was solid orange. “What do you think of these? Could the right outfit help create a better first impression?”
Silver pursed her lips in thought. “The orange is too much of a tacky contrast with your fur. And are we talking about while you are on the throne or during more casual outings?”
“I sense the latter would be preferable.”
“Indeed. A Princess wearing socks on a throne makes me think you were negligent when you got out of bed. That is definitely not the right message you want to send. If it is for something more informal, such as a party or a light-hearted event where you just need to be seen. Then socks might be more appropriate. Although, honestly, I am surprised you do not already have a royal fashion counselor to tell you these things.”
“‘Tia does. However, she explained that her advisor could be a little… much. Choosing the right hat can often devolve into a heated debate where both parties have starkly different ideas of how to achieve the desired result. Objects are thrown,” Blue ominously added as she replaced the orange socks and rotated through alternatives. “I think it best that I develop a sense of modern fashions away from the so-called experts, that I am better able to contend with their assertions.”
“So, you are using me to figure out what the common pony likes?” Silver asked with a cheeky grin, happy to be of service.
“It’s more like I trust you to manage your Princess’ reputation as a fashion-forward mare.”
Silver’s grin fell with the weight of her lover’s words. “… Oh.”
“Indeed,” Blue confirmed, now sporting the cheeky grin. “Also, the Grand Galloping Gala is approaching, and I want to ensure you have something nice.”
“My dearest, Blue. I assure you there is nothing to worry about, as I have several fine dresses meant for any occasion.”
Blue nodded as her stare grew more intense. “Yes, but are you confident they’re fit for the Gala?”
Silver blinked and pursed her lips under Blue’s withering gaze. “Well, now, I am not.” She huffed and crossed her arms. “You should have told me that part before we left. I would have happily modeled for you, and we could have checked if my current dresses were up to your standards.”
“‘Tis not my standards, dearest Silver. The Gala has garnered quite the reputation as the place for high-class ponies to be seen. We’ll need something fetching, but also not too restrictive. We wouldn’t want to impair your movements in case of an emergency.”
“What kind of emergency?”
“Oh, I thought you were aware of the Gala’s curse. Every year, every security measure is taken, yet somehow, everything always ends in an utter catastrophe. ‘Tis grand!” she cheered.
Silver blinked. “That is not just a rumor?”
“Not according to ‘Tia,” Blue explained with an impish grin. “Though, I would have thought Thomas had already told you this year would be particularly climactic, thanks to the Elements.”
“I thought the Elements were supposed to maintain harmony, not disrupt it.”
“Against genuine threats, yes. However, you’ve met them. You must have some idea how eccentric they can be. Apparently, Fluttershy, the quiet and sweet one, shall cause a stampede of creatures unaccustomed to her overly affectionate ways.” Blue shivered in anticipation. “I cannot wait.”
Silver thoughtfully frowned. “So, what we are really doing is looking for dresses that are nice, but stretchy and durable because of the predicted disaster.”
“I prefer climactic excitement, but yes,” Blue confirmed as she led the way to the skirts. “Hmm, these always struck me as peculiar.”
“Skirts? I’ve seen you wear skirts before.”
“Yes, but look at the length.” Blue indicated a skirt sized for her glamour’s figure and held it to her waist. “This is little more than a belt that will lift the moment I raise my knee more than an inch. I don’t see the point. Unless… is it trying to be alluring? Is the idea to tease onlookers with what lies beneath?”
Silver clucked her tongue. “I suppose that could make sense. Though, the design seems a little too plain for something meant to be sexy.” She looked around until she pointed at a sign over the lingerie section. The panties were off-white with fluffy frills. “Now that is trying to be sexy.” She grinned as she imagined her Princess modeling in each displayed design.
Luna nodded and resumed scanning the skirts. “Nothing here seems so elaborate. Is this style something new?”
“This is probably where you would want the expert’s advice,” Silver admitted and joined her fellow shopper. “I think this more closely resembles business casual, at least in color and general design. However, I must consider your point. This thing is just waiting to lift under even moderate movement. It is like raising the tail, but in front. I cannot fathom what the designers were going for, but a business office seems like the last place for this kind of ambiguous flirting.”
“I see. Then, perhaps it might work on the throne?”
“I beg your pardon, what?”
“Most of my formal dresses fall below the knee, or have cuts for a loin flap. Either covers my marehood, but what would you say to something that draws attention instead?”
“I would say you are sending the worst kind of message to ponies when they’re supposed to be looking to you to solve their problems. If I saw my Princess wearing that on the throne”—she gestured at the skirt in disgust—“I would think she was fishing for a booty call rather than listening to matters of state.”
“Yes, perhaps, but you must admit, it is quite approachable,” Blue reasoned. “Instead of the crown, the decorations, the throne, or even my sheer size, ponies’ eyes will be drawn down, between my legs, to see my most welcoming feature.”
Silver frowned. “I think you might be misunderstanding the definition of welcoming.”
“Oh, how so?”
“For one, I am fairly certain the others would agree that your teats and plot are more welcoming. I know that is where I would rather rest my head,” Silver explained. “For another, there is simply no way the royal court is even remotely appropriate for that kind of attention. It is just… not.”
“I’m afraid I will only accept coherent arguments,” Blue informed.
“Would you bend over and lift your tail in court?”
“That depends. Are such things acceptable these days?”
Silver was flabbergasted that her Princess would even ask that. She knew that Luna still stumbled with more nuanced features of modern culture. However, it boggled the mind that the ancient and wizened mare could be this oblivious. It had to be a mistake. There had to be some kind of miscommunication somewhere. And as Luna’s loyal servant, lover, and friend, Silver was honor-bound to correct this egregious oversight before the poor goddess embarrassed herself. Then she heard a mare snickering. She looked up from her deep thought to find Blue facing away with a hand over her mouth in a vain attempt to repress her chortles. Silver’s eyes narrowed. “You are terrible.”
“F-forgive me-he-he,” Blue giggled. “I c-I couldn’t help m-mys-s-self.” She pulled further away and tried to compose herself.
Silver maintained her condemning glower for as long as possible. Finally, however, her lover’s insufferably infectious laughter quickly took its toll, and her frown broke into a grin as she valiantly fought the oncoming giggles.
“Ah, that was refreshing,” Blue sighed in contentment as she finally resumed facing the gray mare. Seeing Silver continue to struggle, she wrapped an arm around the shorter mare and pulled her into a half hug. The bat mare’s tension almost immediately evaporated as she reflexively nuzzled into the big mare’s touch. “You are too serious.”
“I have tried to lighten up,” Silver apologetically replied. “But the thought of all those ponies looking at you like that…”
“You’re aware I have posed for magazine covers, yes?”
“Yes, but this is different, and you know it. These”—Silver resentfully gestured to the short skirts—“are most unbecoming of a Princess.”
“What if I bought some for the harem’s exclusive use?”
Silver needed a second to think. “That is not fair.”
“Who said a Princess has to be fair all the time?”
“Everypony. Everypony believes that.”
“But you know better, I hope,” Blue added with a shit-eating grin.
“If you care so much about being approachable, well, I think it is working,” Silver fumed with her face half-buried in the larger mare’s breast. “I feel like approaching you, but with a lasso so I can wrestle you down and put you in your place.”
Blue snorted a surprised laugh. “You think you can?”
“Honey has given me lessons, so I can try.” Then, in a husky and sensual voice, Silver threatened, “Do you doubt me?”
Blue snapped her thighs together and narrowly turned her body in time, so her invisible wing-boner didn’t hit anything. However, Silver’s smirk showed she’d felt the wind gust. “Now look who’s terrible.” She then grinned and lowered her snout to affectionately nuzzle Silver. It was a wordless promise that they’d postpone any overly exerting activities. For now, their shopping had barely begun.
Finally, the pair found their way to the changing rooms, each with an armful of selections.
“Are you sure you want those?” Silver asked as she eyed Blue’s clothes. “Speaking as somepony intimately familiar with your measurements, those will not fit.”
“It’s fine. I can have the royal tailor make adjustments. For now, I just want to see if they look good on me.”
“But that is not your body. It would be more like a size down from Honey if she were a unicorn.
“Are you saying this because you want me to return to my true shape so you may watch my figure expand?” Blue teased.
Silver blinked. “That is beside the point. You need to pick clothes that best fit your figure. At least get the proportions right. Otherwise, you are just making more work for everypony involved, including yourself.”
“It’s fine. You underestimate the royal tailors,” Blue dismissively said as she stepped into the stall and closed the door. “Now, hurry and try yours on. I want to see that red dress.”
Silver sighed in resignation and did as she was told. She’d done her duty and said her piece. The rest was on Luna. However, as she slipped into the proposed dress, a thought occurred. “Why are these stalls closed? What are we hiding from?”
“I think hiding the dressing process helps build anticipation.”
“Ah, I suppose that makes sense,” Silver allowed. “You know, it occurs to me that much of our culture centers on this kind of teasing. You hide something just enough to build interest, but are tactical with displays.”
“Hmm, I think you’re right. It’s like the skirt.”
“There is nothing tactical about that belt, but yes.”
Blue giggled. “I just imagined if your old self could see you now.”
“Am I different? I do not feel different.”
“You are. Just think about yourself when we first met. How would that mare react if she heard you talking down to me as though she knew better.”
Silver snickered. “Okay, that is quite funny. However, in present me’s defense, having a worshipful moon does not automatically make you an expert in all fields.” Silver blinked and considered her words. “Oh, my stars, I have changed.”
“For the better, I should say. You’re much more fun this way, and I love when you bring out your more assertive side. Okay, I’m coming out.”
“As am I.”
The mares stepped into the hall between the stalls and the main store and gazed upon each other. Blue wore cyan socks with horizontal white stripes and pink stars, giving off a youthful vibe. Her dress was strapless, knee-length, and jungle green, hugging her body in a way that left little to the imagination. Silver’s crimson red gown hung down to her ankles, and the skirt had a slip on the side to allow more leg freedom. The straps were spaghetti strings, and the top clung to her chest enough to reveal a tasteful amount of cleavage.
“So, how do I look?” Blue asked as she did a little spin to show all sides of her body.
Silver frowned. “The dress looks good, but only on that body. Furthermore, are you even wearing that dress?” She craned her neck to look into Blue’s stall, only to find the dress still on its hanger and the socks laid out over a chair.
“I added them to my glamour,” Blue said, still turning and striking different poses. “Hmm, but I suppose you have a point. I’m not sure this shade of green works for me.” She then looked up. “But I like yours.”
“Really? I was uncertain about the straps.” Silver huffed as she cupped her breasts and rolled them in her dress. “And I cannot say I am fond of how it clings to my chest.”
“Well, style is all well and good, but I think you’d rather be comfortable in case you have to, for example, flee from a giant ice sculpture falling on you.”
Silver fixed Blue with a look. “Surely, you jest.”
Blue gave a shit-eating grin. “You’ll see soon enough.”
Silver looked back down at how the dress hugged her figure, particularly her cleavage. “In that case, I may want to try something less constrictive. Not to sound crass, but something that shows more fur.”
“Agreed. You have such a nice figure. It would be a shame not to show off.”
Silver chuckled. “Nice? My figure could fit inside yours.”
“Is that an invitation?” Blue asked with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.
Silver had to turn away to maintain her composure against her lover’s silly display. Sometimes, it could be trying to love everything about a person. “Keep your tail down. You know what I mean.”
“Yes, but that makes it no less fun.” Blue came up behind Silver and rested her chin on the shorter mare’s shoulder. Their cheeks were close enough that their fur barely brushed together, and Blue could tell Silver was dangerously close to initiating a nuzzle. “Although, now you have me curious. What do you think crossed my mind when you said ‘inside?’ What level of depravity did you attribute to the divine matron of your tribe? Tell me, my loyal subject,” she whispered into Silver’s ear. “What do you think I want to do to you right now?”
Silver was trying very hard to keep still and not look like someone had set her vibration on high. But unfortunately, she wasn’t doing a great job. Her body trembled from the big mare’s proximity. Her breath was sweet with pancake syrup, and her warm exhales tickled the fur on Silver’s face. The glamour didn’t show it, but the mare’s titanic teats pressed firmly into her shorter counterpart’s back, threatening to pull her in and devour her. And then there were her words. Luna’s magic had already allowed the harem to explore several interpretations of ‘inside,’ but Silver knew there was more her goddess wanted to try. Or maybe she wanted to return to something they’d already tried, but with some new twist.
As much as the others loved Luna and enjoyed indulging in her peculiar requests, Silver liked to think that she was the most willing to try anything, no matter how bizarre. She also liked to think this made her special in Luna’s eyes. The last time the goddess explained an unorthodox idea she wanted to try, her eyes immediately fell on Silver. She knew the bat mare needed little provocation to jump headlong into whatever crazy scheme the alicorn had cooked up, and Silver prided herself on that. The bat mare was utterly devoted to her beloved goddess, and even if equal standing between them was impossible, Silver didn’t mind. She’d do anything to make her lover happy, which, in some cases, meant giving her what she needed rather than what she wanted.
“If you make me cause a scene in a public setting, I will have Moonlight cast a spell to numb my tongue for every session for the next week,” Silver coldly threatened.
Blue’s poker face was an unflinching smile, and she betrayed no signs of tension. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I would not trust myself to restrain from your marehood, but I would trust Moonlight to help me put you in your place,” Silver said, focusing with all her might on a single glove left behind on a hook on the far wall.
“My place?” Blue questioned, her tone warning.
“Yes. It is my job to keep your urges in check so you do not shame yourself and give ponies an excuse to think less of you. That includes resisting your efforts to provoke me into ravaging your body where others may see. I am quite literally paid—to borrow from Thomas’ memes—to throw you in horny jail.” Silver’s voice was steady and authoritative. Just from hearing her, one would never suspect her knees were rattling, and her pits were dank with sweat.
Meanwhile, Blue’s poker face endured. She was aware of Silver’s smelly pits and more, but showed no sign of noticing. Instead, she rose to her full height and noted the almost instant drop in tension in Silver’s muscles. “Very good, Silver Bell. You are, indeed, a worthy concubine who understands her role. It’s your job to keep me from making a fool of myself, no matter how much fun it may seem. So, out of respect, I shall refrain from making any mention of my attraction regarding your assertiveness.”
Silver’s mouth felt dry as she swallowed and carefully spread her wings to fan herself. “Th-that is most appreciated. Thank you.”
“With that said…” Blue trailed off for a moment. Her tone was suggestive, and the glint in her eyes was frighteningly mischievous. “Would you like to make a stop at the little filly’s room?”
Much to the pair’s surprise, Silver did not bolt away from the stalls to the nearest bathroom. She wanted to, but that would undo everything she’d accomplished. Instead, she calmly turned around and stared impassively at the gorgeous mare hidden behind the okay-looking disguise. “After you.”
Later that day, the store received an anonymous donation that mysteriously matched the cost of replacing a destroyed toilet. The poor porcelain throne looked like some careless earth pony had used the thing for tap-dancing practice. Luckily, the donation also included a can of industrial-strength odor remover, which was arguably even more crucial. The store had to briefly quarantine the bathroom after the first few ponies who entered had to run halfway across the store to relieve themselves in a different bathroom. Unrelatedly, two mares of differing heights purchased a few comfortable yet fashionable dresses. The taller mare looked cool as a cucumber, but her shorter friend kept glancing over her shoulder as though she guiltily expected to be called out for something.
Chapter 154: The Guard, the Human, and the Dream Walker
Thomas walked down the street beside Moonlight and let his eyes wander over the traffic. There weren’t too many ponies on the pavement, which suited him fine. He’d largely gotten used to all the nudity, at least enough that it no longer made him cringe to see a naked cock on a tall body move dangerously close to his face. However, most of the ponies going about their business, barely paying him a second glance, wore a bit more clothing. “More clothing in public like this is a status symbol, right?” he asked while noting Moonlight’s minimal armor.
“Something like that. It’s also the culture in Canterlot to wear more clothes than in other provinces, but yes. More clothes outside a formal event are a way to flaunt your wealth.” Moonlight glanced down at Thomas’ blank loincloth and chuckled. “You’re putting off some pretty conflicting signals dressed like that.”
Thomas looked between his loincloth and mare. “Like what?”
“Well, it’s just so plain, so you’re clearly not showing off. If you wore the ones with Luna’s cutie mark, ponies would think you’re, at least, signaling your allegiance to your preferred Princess. However, just plain white is so… plain. Honestly, I think most of the stares are for your confusing outfit.”
Thomas snickered. “Well, that’s nice, I guess. Ponies are finally getting used to the local weirdo.”
“Yes, but not for much longer. Luna said she’s getting ready to make the formal announcement regarding your, well, origins, and rumors are already spreading in the castle that Luna’s wing will need to up its security for a while. So, I expect I’ll have to start wearing more armor on our outings.”
“Hmm. I guess it was only a matter of time.” Thomas looked around the pedestrians, too wrapped up in their own business to notice him, and imagined how they’d react once they knew he was an alien. “In the show, the Mane Six got almost no recognition for what they did. No celebrity worship and ponies would cut them in line without a second thought.”
“I wouldn’t expect the same treatment for you. Also, I doubt things are like that for them whenever they leave Ponyville. Being heroes in a small town where you sell them carrots and pay their salaries might lessen the blow, but I’m pretty sure they get a lot of attention whenever they leave town.”
“That would be logical,” Thomas agreed. “I remember fans criticized that stuff on the show. Also, the comics.” Thomas’ brow furrowed in thought. “Wait, are there deer in the Everfree Forest?”
“I don’t think so. Why?”
“Just a kind of dumb plotline that introduced some pretty cool lore, but the villain was a generic business guy who did some needlessly criminal things. The story ended in a big fight. However, I thought it would have been better if the Elements actually used their status and brought a lawsuit against the guy. It just seems like Twilight could have, I don’t know, done some research to settle what was basically a land dispute, and the others could have acted as witnesses for the business guy’s criminal acts. Also, the business guy had some chemicals that were, like, a super-growth formula. He could have abandoned his initial plans and just sold that stuff as fertilizer.” Thomas blinked in realization at his tangent. “The point is, I’m both glad that this version of Equestria is more logical about their celebrities and heroes, but also a little anxious.”
“Increased security will apply to you, too,” Moonlight assured. “Jet won’t have as many days off for a while, so you’ll have both of us to watch your back.” However, she studied her human’s expression and found he didn’t appear reassured. “Just having a couple of scary-looking guards should make most ponies think twice about approaching you with awkward questions.”
Thomas gave a soft chuckle. “Yeah, probably. And maybe it’s just me, but Jet seems way scarier than you. No offense.”
“None taken, and you’re right. Honestly, I think I’m the sort of guard they usually post in more public areas to interact with the public. Jet’s more the intimidating type. Even outside the armor, she’s just got that look that makes her unapproachable.” Moonlight clucked her tongue. “Would you call that a resting-bitch-face?” she asked, barely restraining her smirk.
“Nah, more like resting-murder-face,” he retorted, and they shared a small laugh. “Speaking of, I didn’t just break any rules with that comic talk, right?”
“Comics are still seen as more of a foal and teen thing, so I doubt anypony cares that somepony who looks like a foal is talking about a story about the Mane Six. Besides, I’d just assume there were already a bunch of books out fictionalizing their lives, so no one would think you’re talking about anything other than a regular old comic.”
“Would they get royalties for using their likeness?”
“I hope so. Oh, here we are.” Moonlight indicated the café ahead, where a familiar face awaited.
“It’s good to see you two,” Soothing Star happily greeted with a wave as she adjusted her glasses. She wore the same jacket from before and still had no bottoms.
“It’s good to be seen.” Moonlight nearly ran ahead to greet her friend. Instead, she pushed Thomas’ back to hurry him to their table, and then they embraced.
“And it’s a pleasure to see you again.” Star approached Thomas, but he extended his hand for a handshake. What followed was an awkward dance as the two struggled to figure out how to greet one another. Ultimately, Star grew impatient and squeezed the human. “A friend of Moonlight is a friend of mine, and friends get hugs.”
Thomas less enthusiastically returned the embrace and said, “That seems to be the culture around here, so I can’t argue.”
“I’d like to see you try,” Star replied, motioning the others to sit with her. “I mean it. What’s the human perception on greeting friends?”
“Hard to say,” Thomas said as he climbed into the taller chair. “Thanks for this, by the way.”
“You’re welcome.”
“As for greetings, well, it varies. There are all kinds of cultures in my country with different views on just about everything. Some are more touchy-feely, while others are more stoic and formal. I’m also not much for touching strangers, but you guys have worn me down, so I’m not as bothered as I used to be.”
“Fascinating,” Star replied as she waved down a waiter to take their orders. She then looked around with her eyes and ears, checking for eavesdroppers. “By the way, rumor has it that the Princesses will soon be making an announcement about a certain somepony,” she said with an almost questioning inflection.
Thomas glanced at Moonlight, who shrugged.
“Rumors take on a life of their own. Although, if they’ve already spread outside the castle, the Princesses must be relaxing restrictions.”
Star shuffled in her seat and leaned forward on her elbows in anticipation. “I don’t suppose you could offer any hints?”
Thomas shook his head. “I’d rather not. We were just talking about that, and I’d rather not provoke a flash mob.”
“Agreed. Thomas has put his trust in the Princesses, so it wouldn’t be appropriate to reveal anything before they have.”
Star puttered her lips and leaned back in her seat. “Pooh, but I guess I can’t argue. We put our faith in the Princesses for a reason, and they’ve seldom let us down.”
“Seldom implies sometimes,” Thomas noted. “Were there other things besides what happened, ya know, a thousand years ago?”
“Nightmare Moon’s Rebellion?” Star asked. “It’s okay to say it. History is what it is, and I’m not the type who’ll go on a raging rant just because I’m a Luna worshipper.”
Moonlight snorted her amusement. “That’s not the Star I remember.”
“Well, I’ve mellowed out since we were little. Just don’t say anything obscenely wrong, and I won’t need to correct you,” Star smugly informed.
Thomas nodded, glad for the invitation to discuss the matter without worrying about stepping on any toes, so to speak. “I think I’ve got the basics. Luna felt neglected and jealous of her sister, gave in to her dark impulses, and… Did she have followers?”
“Some,” Star answered. “Most were conflicted about her turn and didn’t know who to side with. Some argued that she wasn’t even the real Luna, but a monster who stole her likeness or perhaps possessed her, and so joined Celestia to save their Princess. The Rebellion only lasted a few months, and most of Luna’s followers didn’t have time to make up their minds before it was over. After that, we faced deep sadness at our loss, compounded by persecution by our more spiteful neighbors.”
Thomas nodded his understanding, but kept silent.
“Celestia tried to mitigate the damage, but the blow was already struck. Luna’s flock was always smaller than Celestia’s, but our numbers were nearly halved after the Rebellion. There weren’t too many casualties, but ponies either felt betrayed or were bullied out of the faith. Luckily, time heals all wounds, and Luna’s worshippers have steadily rebounded over the last few centuries. Of course, I trust I don’t need to say there was a massive resurgence when our Princess finally returned. Many who descended from her deserters even returned to their ancestral faith.”
“How does that work, exactly?” Thomas asked. “The alicorns are all supposed to be goddesses, right?”
“Yes.”
“But you still worship one or the other?”
Finally, everyone’s drink orders arrived, and Star took a sip as she chuckled. “That is a needlessly contentious issue. Technically, worshipping the alicorns means all of them, including Cadence. Of course, ponies have their favorites, but some are more vocal than others. I think, back in the day, it was more like allegiance to a feudal lord. However, Celestia has since worked to streamline the faith to a unified pantheon. That was a little tricky, given that she was the only goddess for the longest time.” Star snorted a laugh. “The Dream Walkers have archived certain dreams for posterity, so I’ve seen how ponies reacted when Cadence first appeared. Let’s just say that perceptions of the Princess of Love were… misguided.”
“Oh, I read about that,” Moonlight spoke up. “Ponies thought she was only the Princess of physical love, and it took a massive PR campaign to clarify things.”
“I heard something like that, too,” Thomas carefully added. “Isn’t she kinda the most powerful alicorn because she can manipulate people’s emotions?”
Star rolled her eyes. “That’s still being debated, and Cadence is wisely keeping her mouth shut. Only top-tier Dream Walkers are allowed anywhere near the alicorns’ dreams, and that’s a number I can count on my hooves, so no pony at my level has any clue. Although, personally, I’d say she’s stronger than we’re led to believe.” She took another sip. “Have you met her?”
Thomas shrugged and sipped his drink as well. “Actually, not really. I’ve seen her around a few times, but we’ve never really chatted. I’ve had a few accidental run-ins with Celestia, but we haven’t said much, either.” He looked to Moonlight.
“Celestia, a little. It’s been nice getting to know her again, but our schedules are literally night and day, so it’s hard to find the time.” Moonlight then took a loud and thoughtful slurp of her beverage. “I have no idea what schedule Cadence is on, but we should probably make the time to properly meet with her.”
“Doesn’t the guard share information between the branches?” Star asked.
“Everything is on a need-to-know basis. I have a rough idea of what goes on in Luna’s wing and the main corridors on most days, but everything else is compartmentalized to prevent leaks. The fewer ponies know something, the fewer mouths there are to blab.”
“I suppose that makes sense,” Star allowed.
“Is it different with the Dream Walkers?”
“A little. We have teams that monitor certain regions, but it’s not like different branches of the military. We can operate remotely, so most of us are centralized in a few bases, and we take our lunch breaks in the same cafeterias. Information is restricted more by rank and clearance level than anything.”
Thomas chuckled. “I love how I’m sitting with people casually discussing confidential security stuff.”
“Oh, I haven’t said anything that isn’t publically available,” Star smugly retorted. “I said we’re centralized in bases, but I didn’t say where, how our teams are organized, or anything about the archives beyond their existence, so good luck trying to plan an attack based on anything I’ve said.”
Moonlight nodded. “Same. I can show you the bulletin board where we assign general patrols. The secret board for the special patrols has a glamour, so most ponies can’t see it, and a memory charm, so I’ll only remember it when I need to, and forget immediately after.”
Thomas blinked. “Seriously?”
Moonlight shrugged. “Could be, but it sounds true, doesn’t it?”
Thomas chuckled. “Okay, that’s a good one.”
“If anypony can do that for a bulletin board, it would have to be the military or some other state agency,” Star noted. “Mind magic is some powerful stuff, and anypony with the talent is almost immediately… Well, I wouldn’t call it conscripted. Let’s just say that a few lucky foals get some pretty shiny scholarships once their cutie marks show up.”
“If this was with humans, that kind of surveillance would be terrifying,” Thomas informed.
“Why?” Star asked.
“Let’s just say that humans have a long and dark history when it comes to government overreach. Maybe cutie marks make it different, but if humans found out that a human agency was monitoring their dreams or tracking gifted kids like that, there’d be riots.”
“What about you?” Moonlight asked. “Are you more trusting?”
Thomas snickered and shook his head as a waiter came by to take their orders. “Not even. I’d say my views are atypical for humans. Honestly, I kinda just don’t care. Look at my dreams about sexy mares and giant sea monsters all ya want. It doesn’t really affect me.”
“Sea monsters?” Star questioned in mild alarm. “Luna allows such nightmares in her concu—friends?”
“Thomas’ dreams are different, to say the least,” Moonlight replied. “The Subnautica ones, right?” she clarified, and Thomas nodded. “Luna’s taken us into his dreams where we explore this vast and beautiful underwater world. There are extensive forests of seaweed, reefs taller than mountains, and endless caverns. Sea monsters are there and sometimes chase us, but the overall vibe in the dreams is more relaxing. It’s all about exploring, seeing the different sights and creatures, and avoiding the dangerous ones.”
Star’s stare grew intent. “I don’t suppose you’d ever let me in your dreams? I’d love to see how sea monsters don’t automatically qualify as a nightmare.”
Thomas furrowed his brow and pointed with his cup-holding hand at the maroon mare. “Is this a technical thing for Dream Walkers?”
“Basically.”
“Any chance you can explain in a way the magically illiterate can understand?”
“I can try.” Star cleared her throat. “For ponies, dreams are comprised of disjointed memories, usually from recent events, especially those tied to strong emotions. Common nightmares manifest from guilt, stress, and other negative feelings. Dream Walkers are taught to observe the patterns and determine what different symbols mean when the dreams aren’t so straightforward. We’re also taught spells to weave ourselves into the dream to allow minimal disruption and more advanced spells help manage more complex emotional symbols. For example, a sea monster would most typically appear to foals learning how to swim or some seafarer dealing with internal or external issues. Do you know how to swim?”
“I do,” Thomas confirmed.
“Have you been stressing about anything water-related lately?”
“Nope.”
“Then I just really want to know how that works. I can’t think of a single instance of anything frightening appearing that doesn’t, well, frighten the dreamer. It’s so fascinating, and I’d like to study that from a technical perspective.”
“My stallion has a unique outlook on things,” Moonlight proudly stated while smiling at Thomas.
“I thought I was your human.”
“You’re the male who makes it hard to sleep when I don’t feel you on my back. Do you care about the rest?”
“In this case, no. That’s actually pretty nice to hear.” Thomas reached across the table and clasped hands with Moonlight. “And for what it’s worth, it’s noticeable whenever I wake up, and I don’t smell a certain unicorn.”
Moonlight blushed as her grip tightened.
“… It was the smell, wasn’t it?” Thomas deadpanned, and Moonlight nodded. “Right, smell’s stronger for ponies.” He then glanced at Star to confirm her cheeks had also darkened, if only slightly. “I’m not apologizing.”
Star snorted a surprised laugh. “Okay, you got a good one,” she directed at Moonlight, then sighed and looked into her cup. “You’re lucky. A guard falling for her charge is right out of a storybook. So romantic.”
“Isn’t that also a conflict of interests?” Thomas asked. “Not complaining, just curious.”
“Well, maybe a little,” Moonlight allowed. “But it’s still pretty romantic. Realistically, it just means my mistakes will have even less leniency than they usually would. I can basically keep this assignment, so long as I prove I can handle it and don’t screw up. Besides, after Shining Armor started as Cadence’s bodyguard, I don’t think too many ponies will make a stink over us.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to ponies,” Thomas remarked in resignation.
“What about you?” Moonlight asked Star. “A Dream Walker falling for a pony she saves from their nightmares also sounds pretty storybook to me.”
I should probably find a dictionary so I can look up some of these terms. There’s no way they’re the same definitions, Thomas thought as he mentally listed several reasons a human organization would strongly discourage such relationships. For ponies to not do the same most likely meant they’d never encountered enough problems to justify such protocols. Whether that was down to cultural practices or something regarding how their brains worked, ponies truly were a different species.
“You would think, but it’s different for us. Dream Walkers are more like therapists, and that kind of relationship with a patient isn’t exactly encouraged.”
And add consistency to the list of terms that definitely have different definitions from those on Earth, Thomas irately thought.
“And that sort of thing would only happen for the upper levels who deal with patients with chronic problems. I’m usually in and out so fast I barely have time to learn a pony’s name. It’s mostly foals who heard a scary story, anyway.”
Yeah, the government sending agents into kids’ dreams is almost evil by definition, yet ponies somehow make it less nefarious, wondered Thomas.
“Besides, I’m not really looking right now,” Star continued. “If it happens, it happens, but no pony at the office strikes my fancy, and I’m unlikely to meet anypony on the job, at least, not for a few years.”
That’s when Moonlight had a perilous thought. “Well, so long as you’re free, we could try hanging out?” she offered, prompting the man and the other mare to intently stare at her. “Hear me out. It doesn’t have to be anything serious. We’re just old friends catching up and inviting our new friend to join us because he needs to get out and socialize more.” She finished by fixing her eyes on said new friend.
Thomas pursed his lips. “I guess that’s fair.”
“So, you’re not asking me out?” Star clarified.
“Just as friends. We don’t have to jump under the sheets right away. I asked you here because I thought it’d be fun to catch up, which I think it is. We can just keep doing this and see where it goes. No pressure, no expectations, and no meddlesome alicorns.”
“But, didn’t we just say we were gonna meet with Princess Cadence at some point?” Thomas reminded. “Doesn’t she, like, smell this kind of stuff?”
Moonlight blinked. “… damn.”
“While that’s probably true, I think I like this idea,” Star remarked with an intrigued smile. Her eyes crawled appraisingly over her old friend. “You’ve definitely filled out a lot since we were foals.” Then her gaze fell on the foreigner. “And there’s no arguing you’ve got a cute charm about you. Hmm, yes. We should definitely hang out more.”
Thomas then felt the weight of all eyes upon him. “Well, so long as there’s no pressure, I wouldn’t say no to hanging out.”
“Yes, definitely no pressure,” Moonlight assured as she pushed her chair beside Thomas and pulled him into a half hug. “We can just be friends without any obligations to do more.”
Although, given my track record with most of my friends, ‘more’ seems more likely than not, Thomas thought. After all, Moonlight and Talon started as just friends. Maybe that was a harem thing and wouldn’t reach outside the castle? While he wasn’t outright opposed to sleeping with yet another mare, he was wary that too much sex with too many people might make him some kind of addict. He had no concrete basis for this theory apart from a few lectures he only vaguely remembered, and bringing it up here would just be awkward. However, taking his time to get to know a girl before bedding her seemed like a good idea in general, so there didn’t seem to be a reason to make a fuss.
“So, as friends, can we talk more about your religion?” Thomas asked with an awkward chuckle. “Things I never expected to hear myself say.”
“Sure. An outside perspective sounds intriuging.” Star then looked to Moonlight. “Which are you, by the way? Do you follow Luna or all the alicorns?”
“Hmm, I have attachments to both, so I think I’m more in the middle. All alicorns, but my opinion on Cadence is still pending.”
“Most of the dominant religions in my w-country are monotheistic, but I wonder if the old polytheists ever had casual chats about their gods like these,” Thomas thought aloud.
“Possibly. Anyway, was there something specific you wanted to know?” Star asked.
“Well, most religions I know of have places of worship. Are there, like, churches?”
“There are. Supposedly, all of Celestia’s churches are meant to worship the alicorns as equals, but it’s pretty clear from all the sun imagery in the architecture who they were built for. Luna’s churches are more distinctly hers, and I think there are only a few in Canterlot. Cadence has more than Luna, but”—Star chuckled—“that PR campaign still has work to do. If you ask a tour guide for a place to worship Cadence, you’re more likely to be taken to a brothel.”
“I thought that’s how her churches worked,” Moonlight inquired. “Don’t they offer ‘romantic’ services?”
“I think it’s more like dating advice than anything sexual,” Star replied. “Luna founded the Dream Walkers to supplement her duties, and Cadence is working on an order to do roughly the same in spreading love. Although, they’re still trying to find their hoofing. Also, the lingering confusion around her reputation doesn’t help. Though, what about you? Do you worship anywhere besides between your goddess’ legs?” she asked with a chortle.
“I’m a Christian, but a little on the agnostic side. My faith says that my god is the one true god. So—and don’t crucify me on this—I kinda think the alicorns aren’t exactly”—he lowered his voice and looked around—“gods.”
Star’s brow furrowed in confusion. “You don’t think the Princesses move the sun and moon?”
“No, I’ve seen it happen enough that I’m convinced. However, the Christian interpretation is more that God, with a capital G, is omnipotent and omnipresent. He, or rather, it is everywhere and everything all at once. God is the whole universe, and not a sexy lady upon whose body I regularly commit unspeakable acts.”
Moonlight snorted a surprised laugh. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
Thomas shrugged. “It never came up.”
“Aren’t your standards a little high?” Star inquired. “Gods are powerful, yes, but that seems a little much.”
“Hey, I already said my guy is the one true god, implying all others are pretenders, so there’s kinda only the one set of standards,” Thomas elaborated. “Although, my writer’s brain leaves me open to him only being the one true god of humans,”—or maybe even my whole universe—“and ponies have their own. Maybe all species have a deity exclusive to them?”
Star thoughtfully hummed. “Honestly, I’ve never thought too much about other faiths outside Equestria. Minotaurs, griffons, and other creatures that come here are welcome in alicorn churches, and I think a lot of them tend to favor Luna as a fellow outcast. Although, I guess I see your point about not seeing Luna as divine after seeing her as a lover.”
Thomas shrugged again and sipped his nearly empty beverage. “Gods are supposed to be perfect, and while Luna is amazing, I’ve seen too many of her flaws, but that’s not a bad thing. For lack of a better word, that humanizes her. It makes her more of a person than a deity, at least, to me. And I hope all that translates, because I’ve had enough trouble with cultural misunderstandings.”
“Hmm, I can’t say I’m entirely convinced, but I see where you’re coming from,” Star allowed. “You view Luna as a friend, not a goddess.”
“Not counting things I blurt out in the heat of the moment, yes,” Thomas confirmed and looked at Moonlight. “What about you?”
“I see what you’re saying about flaws, but she’s still an alicorn. It’s hard for me not to see her as a goddess.”
“Even after all the other ways you’ve seen her?” Thomas thought back to some of their more embarrassing games, as well as the times that Moonlight got an up close and personal look at the ‘dark side of the moon.’
Moonlight shrugged. “I guess we just have different definitions of godhood.”
“Such seems to be tonight’s theme,” Thomas remarked as a waiter finally came by with their food. Then, as he dug in, he added, “I don’t think you ever elaborated on the other ways the alicorns let you down.”
“It’s a bit of a touchy subject,” Star admitted. “Luckily, our goddess overlords are benevolent tyrants, so they don’t smite us just for criticizing them.”
“Just be careful about what you say about Celestia,” Thomas warned. “We all know what she does to those who displease her.” His words surprised both mares into giggles, and Moonlight nearly choked. Huh, so that’s a meme here, too.
“Okay, yes, but criticism and having others call out our mistakes is the only way we can learn, and alicorns are no different,” Star argued, still chuckling. “Or is that not godly to you?” she asked with more amusement than malice. “Doesn’t your god ever make mistakes?”
Thomas thoughtfully chewed before swallowing. “There’s stuff we don’t understand, but our church has a nifty explanation. God is so great and powerful that his plans go far beyond human understanding. People might criticize and wonder why God’s plan calls for so much suffering, but there’s an old saying. If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plan.”
“Right. I suppose running the entire universe would be tricky,” Star conceded. “Every action has a reaction, and saving one life could potentially lead to dire consequences down the road. Just thinking about the calculations makes my head hurt.”
“As for the question,” Moonlight cut in. “Celestia and Luna have faced off against numerous monsters over the centuries, but didn’t always win. Sometimes the monsters had ways of getting around the Elements, forcing the Princesses to retreat and come up with new strategies. They still won in the end, but there were a lot of unhappy ponies who felt betrayed at being left behind, even if only for a little while.”
“How do you get around the Elements?” Thomas asked.
“The Elements are a single directional weapon,” Star answered. “You charge them and aim at one foe at a time. However, if the enemy has an army, the Elements become less effective if the army scatters in all directions. Some monsters figured out how to do that with themselves, splitting up their being into many to make them harder to track. The strategy was so effective that some of them still haven’t been completely eradicated, even after centuries of hunting. I know, because the whole agency had a party a few weeks back when one team vanquished one of those monsters’ fragments.”
Thomas nodded. “Ah, I see. But that’s not really a failure, though. Fighting an enemy that’s super strong and needing time to get clever about beating it seems kind of standard for any war.”
“What kinds of failures are you thinking of?” Star asked.
“Well, our government once outlawed alcohol because they thought it was a root cause of society’s problems. However, doing so just created more problems, not least of which was the birth of organized crime in the country. So the government had to majorly backtrack and undo what they did. Have the alicorns ever done anything like that?”
Star and Moonlight shared a look, to which the latter replied, “I can’t think of anything. At least, not on that scale.”
“Oh, I might have one,” Star added. “In the Rebellion, a lot of corrupt nobles flocked to Nightmare Moon. They hoped to use her to expand their influence. Then, when she failed, they all claimed to be under mind control, but Celestia didn’t buy it. Equestria doesn’t usually employ the death penalty. However, while their cases were being investigated, authorities found evidence of numerous other crimes. Death seemed like the most expedient way to cut out the cancer, and make an example to the other nobles, so Celestia personally administered the sentence and swung the ax.”
Thomas frowned. “Okay, I’m not saying it’s good that they died, but you could still make an argument why it was necessary, so it’s not exactly bad either.”
Star thoughtfully hummed as she sipped her beverage. “I see what you mean about his unique outlook,” she said to Moonlight. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around half the things he’s saying. It’s no wonder they’re studying your ideas in university.” She chuckled and added, “Honestly, I always thought you’d saddle up with a more athletic type, not a thinker.”
“Thinker, huh?” Thomas wondered aloud. “I guess that fits. I always try to be careful and think about what I say. Even outside the cultural misunderstanding thing, it’s really annoying when I start overthinking stuff, so I don’t step on any toes.”
Star softly chuckled. “Step on toes. Does he say stuff like that a lot?”
Moonlight faced Thomas and beamed. “Not often enough.”
“Oh, I’m already excited for our next get-together.”
“Why? What’s that mean?” Thomas asked. “Are you conspiring in front of my face?”
Moonlight chuckled. “I guess you’d call it your humanisms. It’s hard to describe, but there’s a charm in how you say stepping on toes instead of hooves. I like it.”
Thomas straightened a little. “I didn’t know you liked that stuff.”
Moonlight pursed her lips. “That’s both part of the charm, but also annoying. We’re still trying to understand each other. See, if you were a pony, you probably would have picked up on something like that by now.”
“That’s assuming a lot,” Star added. “Maybe you’re just being coy.”
“We can agree to disagree,” Moonlight countered. “The lesson we should take away is that I enjoy these foreign sayings.”
“What about Talon? Doesn’t she have griffonisms?” Thomas asked.
“Yes, which are nice, but she’s a lot more, well, Equestrian.”
“So my charm is that I’m a foreigner?”
“Hey!” Moonlight pointed an accusing finger in Thomas’ face. “You’d better not be looking for an excuse to feel doubt and put yourself down. Surprise told us to start imposing consequences for mistakes like that.”
Thomas snickered, his mood’s downward trajectory already lifting. “Okay, fair enough.”
“While that was cute, does somepony want to share?” Star invited.
Moonlight stared at Thomas until he nodded his permission. “Thomas is a little sensitive and has self-esteem issues, so we have to be on guard so he doesn’t think himself into a miserable mess.”
“Ah, so you’re one of those,” Star remarked.
“One of what?”
“Ponies, or, I guess I should say creatures, that are their own worst enemies. Recognizing your own weak points keeps you humble and healthy. However, if you ignore your strengths, you get the opposite of an inflated ego, which can be just as bad. We deal with that all the time in the Dream Walkers.”
Moonlight’s ears stood to full attention. “You don’t say.”
“I do. For example, you said something about consequences for mistakes. What’s that about?”
Again, Moonlight checked for Thomas’ permission, which he gave. “The other night, Thomas was on a date with Surprise, another mare in the harem. He made a mistake, so to help him feel better, she sat on him for over an hour when they got back to the castle.”
“Hmm, now there’s an idea,” Star pondered in interest. “Some ponies get stuck on their mistakes, no matter how minor, and feel the need to punish themselves. So having somepony else do it for you sounds like a more fun resolution to help the afflicted pony work through their self-loathing, at least, in that instance. Plus, having friends who are willing to indulge in such punishments sounds like a healthy support system. Not bad.” Star then noticed Moonlight begin fidgeting and realized she wasn’t the only one excited for future interactions.
“Huh. So having a giant mare pin me under her giant butt is keeping me healthy?” Thomas wondered aloud. “Man, I must have some serious problems if that’s my treatment.”
Star looked concerned at Moonlight. “Was that not an issue?”
“No, that’s what he calls his dry wit. Self-deprecating humor is his thing.” Then Moonlight caught Thomas smiling at her. “And now, he feels even better knowing that I’m getting better at reading his cues.”
“On the other hand, I want to make a smartass remark, but I’m frustrated that nothing’s coming to mind,” Thomas added.
Star hummed in amusement. Yes, I think we’ll be having many more lunches like these.
“Huh. Ah know you said it was empty, but Ah never thought it’d be this empty,” Honey remarked as she gestured ahead. The moon had almost climbed to its peak overhead, adding its illumination to the street lights, and the green mare held a classically styled picnic basket under one arm.
“I know, right? Total waste,” Surprise agreed as she merrily skipped onto the court on the park’s outskirts, her hooves clopping on the hard surface. Her wings provided extra lift as she ascended roughly ten feet with each step. Additionally, she kept her hands behind her back as she hummed while holding an orange ball under one arm.
“Show off,” Honey said as she found a suitable spot to set the basket; out of the way, but still close enough so they could reach it in case of attempted theft. “But yer right. Ah keep hearin’ the Canterlot nightlife’s s’posed ta be growin’, yet no pony can muster the time ta play a little basketball? Shame.”
“Agreed,” Surprise said as she sat on one of the goals and rested her hooves on the hoop. “Though, I think the nightlife just means shopping and stuff. Stores are open at night, but I guess it’s still taking ponies a while to play under the stars,” she added as she looked up.
“Oy, get that big butt down here before ya break somethin’! Ah don’t wanna have ta pay some fine ta replace nothin’.”
“Oh, p’lease. You’d laugh your plot off and then tell the others until they did the same,” Surprise dismissed. “Tell me that wouldn’t be worth a few bits.”
Honey blinked. “That’s beside the point. What matters is Jonagold’d be right furious at me fer breakin’ public property. Then Ah’d get… disciplined,” she trailed off as her cheeks reddened.
Surprised leaned down as her ears pivoted forward. “Do tell.”
“Well, maybe Ah might’ve let slip a couple things Ah do in the harem. Nothin’ big. Jus’ a few tricks Ah thought mah herd might like. ‘N’ maaaybe Jona took to ‘em a little too well.”
“Oh-ho-ho. Somepony’s naughty,” Surprise teased.
“Would ya’ll jus’ get down already!?”
Surprise whickered her lips as she fluttered to the ground. “Fine, but you’re spilling the beans if I win.”
“Ah thought the rules said we wasn’t allowed to talk about this stuff outside the you-know-what. Ah feel like Ah’m pushin’ things enough jus’ tellin’ mah herd.”
“Two things.” Surprise held up two fingers and pressed the first down. “A, that only applies to harem stuff. Your herd gets no protections. And B, I’m your bestie, and I want to know.”
“Bestie, huh?” Honey pondered. “Well, Ah guess that’s true enough, but don’t mah herd get some consideration?”
“It probably should, but you forgot point C, which plays off the rules established in B.”
“Which is?”
“I wanna know, and besties have executive privilege to ask.”
Honey snorted a laugh. “Yeah, Ah probably should’ve seen that comin’,” she agreed with a defeated sigh. “Fine, but what do Ah get if Ah win?”
Surprise gently passed the ball to Honey. “I could tell you some of the activities I’ve done outside the harem?”
Honey tossed the ball back, and the pair passed it several times as they warmed up. “Nah, ya’ll’d do that anyway.”
“Eh, true.”
“Ah want somethin’ equal ta sharin’ what should be at least a little private.”
“Like what?”
“Ah don’t know. A hundred bits, maybe?”
“Sounds about right. So, we good?”
This time, when Honey caught the ball, she didn’t return it. “Ah think so. Now, let’s work up an appetite,” she said as she dribbled the ball while approaching Surprise. They met in the court’s middle. “Standard rules. No bone-crushin’ strength.”
“And no wings,” Surprise agreed as she matched Honey’s competitive smirk. Just because they were playing for fun, that didn’t excuse them from giving it their all. “Three.”
“Two.”
“One!” They sounded in unison as Honey tossed the ball straight up, only to jump shortly after. She and Surprise had comparable leg strength, not including tribal differences. However, Honey miscalculated where the ball would fall and overshot the jump. She had to hurriedly adjust her arm to hit the target, but she could only do so at an awkward angle. Unfortunately, as was evident by this point, the pegasus got the ball first and put it into play.
Honey ran after Surprise and quickly pulled ahead, arms outstretched as she tried to block the mare’s shooting. However, true to her namesake, Surprise had a few tricks up her nonexistent sleeve. The rule on wings was generally understood to mean no flying and no physical contact. And while some might debate the matter, other things were technically allowed. For example, Surprise kept passing the ball between her hands while evading Honey’s efforts to swipe it away. She added wing stretches to elongate the passes, creating a distraction to throw off her opponent’s focus. Surprise had to keep this up irregularly to avoid Honey adjusting to any kind of rhythm, but it was still a nifty trick.
Luckily for Honey, the orange ball stood in stark contrast to the mare’s off-white fur, so the trick only worked for a few seconds before she caught on. Finally, she reached for an opening, but it was a feint, allowing Surprise to whirl around her opponent and make the first shot. It bounced off the board, then the rim, but missed the basket.
“Mah turn!” Honey declared as she ran for the ball, picked it up, and bounced it into play. Of course, this was just an informal game, and the rules were as flexible as the players were expected to be when on the clock. As such, Surprise ran after her opponent and tried to get ahead, but Honey anticipated this. She kept her back to the winged mare and an eye over her shoulder. The earth mare attempted several feints, but Surprise matched her every move, almost like she could read her opponent’s mind.
“It’s almost like I can read your mind, huh?”
Honey narrowed her eyes, but never stopped moving. “How’d ya’ll do that?”
Surprise extended her wings and gave them a light flap. “I can read air pressure, baby!”
Honey blinked. “What? That don’t make a lick ‘f sense. How can ya read anythin’ if we ain’t even in the air?”
“There’s air all around us, silly. I can basically take you on, blindfolded,” crowed Surprise.
“Yeah, we’ll see ‘bout that.” Honey lifted her leg high and stomped down. It wasn’t enough to crack the ground, but it was enough of a shockwave to send dust particles flying. That was Honey’s signal to skip feinting and charge ahead, looping under Surprise’s arm as she ran for the hoop. When all looked clear, she jumped and let the ball fly. She tracked its approach, measuring as it descended, inch after inch, definitely aiming for a clean swish. Then Surprise came out of nowhere and swiped the orb out of the air.
It was as though everything went in slow motion. Surprise came back to the ground while pointing at her wings fixed firmly to her back. Her smile was bright and beaming, almost as though she dared Honey to declare a rule violation.
Honey wasn’t petty enough to make such a baseless accusation. The pegasus might bend the rules for fun on occasion, but she wouldn’t break them. Instead, the earth mare charged with several thunderous hoof strikes to the ground, each carefully measured to create shockwaves of varying intensity to throw off Surprise’s supposedly omnipotent wings. “Suck on mah earthbending!”
“Oh, is that what we’re playing, now?” Surprise challenged as she weaved in a zigzag pattern to evade Honey’s advance. “Well, don’t make me break out the airbending. Haha, get it?”
“Ah’ll show you, breakin’!” Another stomp launched Honey like a rocked, catching Surprise off guard mid-dribble. The earth mare rolled a short distance before she resumed dribbling and doubled back toward her goal.
“Bring it, sister!” Surprise manically cheered as she ran to retrieve her lost property. Honey had power, but the white mare was light on her hooves. She gave her wings the tiniest, virtually imperceptible flaps to provide an extra boost, but only enough to compensate for Honey’s muscular leg pounds. After all, she didn’t want to cross the line into full-blown cheating. Although, the earth mare’s ground pounds irritated her inner ear and slightly threw off her balance. However, she still managed to get ahead and circle around her opponent to block her shot. “Stars, you’ve got loud hooves.”
“Thanks. Mah pa taught me ta do that in case a pegasus was ever botherin’ me,” Honey replied as she kept the ball from her opponent. “Hit the ground hard, but not the same kind ‘f hard. Make the poundin’ different ta throw ‘em off balance. I didn’t know about the wing readin’ thing, but now it makes sense.”
“Yeah, this is just like the bad old days before Equestria,” Surprise agreed. However, each time she thought she got a read on Honey’s movements, the earth mare would pound the ground once more. Finally, the pegasus had to retract her wings. Otherwise, somepony blowing an air horn in her ear every few seconds would have been less bothersome. “When mighty pegasus warriors would swoop down, snatch up yummy earth fillies, and eat them up like apple pie.”
“Jus’ try it, sweet cheeks. Ya’ll couldn’t lift me with three ‘f ya, so mah pie’s goin’ uneaten tonight.”
“That sounded like a challenge,” Surprise observed, her grin growing determined and dangerous.
“Challenges ‘r’ fer worthy opponents. Let me know if ya see any.”
Incensed, Surprise extended her right hand as if to swipe, forcing Honey to pull away. Of course, the earth mare didn’t expect a colossal pair of teats to come swinging from the left and knock the ball right out of her hands.
“Hey, that’s cheatin’!” Honey growled as both mares chased the ball.
“Show me in the rules where it says you can’t use teats! Mwahaha!” Surprise defiantly cackled as she dove for the ball, only for something to whack her butt and throw her off balance. She fell, but her wings quickly unfolded to slow her fall and soften the impact on her soft and supple airbags. Her head snapped up to see Honey with the ball and smirking.
“Teats ‘r’ in play, remember,” Honey taunted as she lightly slapped her left tit before charging to her intended goal. Surprise hurried to get up, but it was already too late. Honey shot and scored. “Point to the earth ponies! Surprisin’ absolutely no pony,” she mocked.
“Oh, is that what we’re doing now?” Surprise angrily growled as she ignored the ball and got up into Honey’s personal space, smashing their teats together as she stared up at her opponent. “Are we playing teat ball?”
Honey glowered back at Surprise. The two were roughly equal in height, but the green mare had an inch or two. Regardless, that added height gave her no extra courage as she stared down the bundle of little dog energy wrapped in a big dog’s body. “Don’t know,” she deadpanned with utmost seriousness. “Never played.”
“Neither have I,” Surprise said, hissing through clenched teeth. “But it sure sounds fun, huh?”
“It sure does,” Honey snarled back. “What ‘r’ the rules?”
“No hands, hooves, or other appendages. You can only touch the ball with your teats,” Surprise said with a soul-crushing scowl.
“What about plots?” Honey gravely questioned.
“That seems more like a team thing,” Surprise added in her regular, more jovial voice. “Like, somepony passes it to you, but you hip check it to your teammate. Knocking a ball into the hoop with just my plot sounds like it’d take a lot of practice, and I’d rather just play.”
“Fair point,” Honey courteously conceded and stepped back. Mashing boobies was fun, but it also hurt a little. “Also, we jus’ made a super discriminatory game,” she said as she lifted under her breasts and bounced them. “Only well-endowed mares can play, ‘n’ Ah can already hear Silver complainin’. Jus’ imagine her tryin’ ta do anythin’ with the ball with them itty bitty titties.”
“Hehe, that’s funny. It’s like teats, but sillier. Is that one of Thomas’ things?”
“Ah think so. He’s got a lot ‘f funny soundin’—whatcha call ‘em—synonyms?”
“Hehe, yeah. I’m picturing Silver, but her back’s bent, and she looks like a seal putting all her focus on keeping everything balanced.”
“Kay, so, does this mean teat ball is out? Ah wanna make sure we’re on the same page.”
“Maybe. Oh, but one more thing. What if we magically turned the others into balls?” Surprise excitedly proposed. “We could bounce them between our, uh… mega milkers.”
Honey stroked her chin in thought. “Change the game ta volleyball, ‘n’ ya might have somethin’. Ah don’t think they’d like the part where they hit the ground. Keep it exclusively teat contact.”
“Alright, that works. As for the game, let’s try it out so we can work out the bugs.”
Honey’s eyes narrowed. “What about the point Ah jus’ won?”
“Oh, I guess you can keep it,” Surprise said to Honey’s satisfaction, only for the happy-go-lucky mare’s wrathful expression to return. “Anyway, let’s try again. Only this time, I shall crush you beneath my mighty teats!”
“Oh? The pillow’s threatenin’ ta crush a boulder? That’d be somethin’.”
The pair got back into standoff position. “Three. Two. One.” Surprise bounced the ball to the ground. It ascended much lower than before as the mares each came from the right with their breasts. The ball briefly squished between their mammaries, only to go flying to one side. Surprise reached the sphere first. However, remembering the rule about hands, she pulled her tits apart, ducked low to scoop up the globe, and slapped her girls together like clamps upon the lucky sphere.
“Hehe, it’s like Moonlight’s head is sticking out.”
“That horn head is mine!” Honey growled as she grabbed under her breasts and threw them against Surprise’s mammaries. The white mare’s grip slipped, and the ball went flying. Honey caught it, mirroring Surprise’s gripping method, but she hadn’t accounted for the ball’s rough texture. “Ow, that hurt!”
“Uh oh, did your boobies get a booboo? Am I bad for hoping the answer is yes so I can kiss them better?”
“Nah, jus’ a little rough is all. Like takin’ Plow up the plot without greasin’ up first.”
Surprise winced.
“Okay, so maybe not that bad, but still not good,” Honey amended as she adjusted her awkward grip to something more comfortable. “I think I gotta hold it more in the middle. Otherwise, mah girls stretch around the base.”
“We’re learning so much tonight,” marveled Surprise. “I wonder if this was how all sports were invented.”
“A couple ‘f idgets hangin’ out in the middle ‘f the night ‘n’ lookin’ fer excuses ta smash their bodies together?” Honey proposed as she achieved an ideal grip. “Yeah, probably. Anywho, let’s get goin’!”
Surprise came in from Honey’s blind spot and swiped her white marshmallows up and under Honey’s green melons.
“Ow!”
“Shoot, I’m sorry,” Surprise said as the ball came back down, where she effortlessly caught it with her teats. “Too hard?”
“How d’ ya’ll do that?” Honey demanded in mild offense at Surprise’s ease. “That thing’s like sandpaper on mah girls, but ya’ll don’t give a lick how ya hold it. What gives?”
Surprise beamed. “Well, it’s like you said. Your boulders against my pillows. Pillows are soft and bend around stuff, but boulders just crumble under pressure.”
“So, it’s come ta pass. Havin’ the mightiest teats in the land has finally come ta bite me in the ass. Ah knew this day would come,” Honey dramatically bemoaned.
“Two things. First, you saw this coming?” Surprise asked. “Honey, I had no idea you were an Oracle. And second, you’ve got a pretty high opinion of yours—Agh!” The white mare grunted in protest when a pair of green, tit-shaped boulders whacked her face. She went flying, but extended her wings before suffering any damage. She rubbed her sore cheek as she looked up at the green mare. “Ya know, lots of scholars question how earth ponies held their own when the pegasi had aerial domination. Bodies as hard as rocks seem like a good explanation.”
Honey smirked. “We ain’t hard all the time. We’re a little like stallions. We only get nice ‘n’ firm when we need to. Otherwise, we’re soft as kittens.”
Surprise stretched the kinks from her jaw as she continued holding the ball. “Okay, experience tells me that’s probably true, but I still wanna test to make sure.”
“Typical sneaky pegasus. Always changin’ the rules midgame when ya know yer losin’.”
Surprise smirked as her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. “You’re gonna wake up tomorrow with a pineapple where you didn’t expect.”
“Promise?” Honey asked with a cheeky grin.
The mares squared off once more, facing each other down as the wind blew, cooling their slightly sweaty bodies. A random bell from a nearby shop acted as the alarm, setting both mares lunging to attack. Honey held her boobs’ sides for a full-frontal assault, but the ball was already gone. Surprise had dropped it, used her tits to smack Honey’s away, and then picked up the ball on its return bounce before dancing around the earth mare and running. Honey tried repeating her maneuver from earlier and threw her boobs at Surprise’s butt. However, the white mare was prepared this time and shot her booty back to counter her opponent. Luckily, Honey had anticipated such a move and redoubled her tit tackle. In the battle of booby against booty, there were no losers, except for anyone who wanted to be involved, but couldn’t. It sucked to be those guys. Also, Surprise’s pillowy flexibility was no match for a head-on blow from Honey’s rock-hard tatas, so the pegasus fell and dropped the ball.
With limited time to act before her opponent did something wild, Honey decided to get creative first. She squatted down and slapped the top of the ball with her tits, bouncing it up. On its return trip down, she only opened her breasts a little to catch the ball with the top of her tits. Friction ensured the sphere stayed in place with relatively minimal effort compared to previous attempts. “Ha!” Honey crowed at her trick and ran for her target, boobies in hand and ball threatening to hit her chin. “This is so weird!” she proclaimed with a laugh.
“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!” Surprise proclaimed as she seemingly came out of nowhere, fire in her eyes. She charged from the side and fixed her gaze on Honey, intent on doing something drastic. Her lips pulled up in a slight smirk when she saw her opponent’s fear. Then, boobies in hand, Surprise pulled her melons apart, stretching them so far that Honey almost tripped in sympathetic pain.
The green mare didn’t know what was coming until it had already eclipsed the moon. Surprise’s wings were outstretched as she hovered over the earth mare like an albino night angel. Finally, the pegasus released her tits, which snapped back into alignment like the world’s tightest rubber band with a thunderous and fleshy smack, right around Honey’s head. The poor thing dropped like a stone and nearly hit the ground. Luckily, Surprise demonstrated a level of aerial acrobatics not often seen outside sports shows, spinning like a ballerina to swoop in and save Honey. The white mare held the green one like a knight bemoaning his fallen love.
“Oy, you awake?” Surprise asked as she rapidly and persistently tapped Honey’s cheek. “Oh, stars. I didn’t kill you with my teats, did I?” The white mare wedged her head between her friend’s melons with a cartoonish pop and pressed her ear to the sternum. “Heart’s still beating. Thank the alicorns,” she sighed in relief. However, as she tried extricating her skull, she encountered a snag. “H-hey! I’m stuck!”
“Dirty trick.”
Surprise froze when she heard the malicious grin in her friend’s voice. She tried pulling harder, but to no avail. The booby cage was too strong.
“Ya know, Ah hear a lot ‘bout how pegasi do purty good in thin air,” Honey taunted as her hands firmly squished her tatas over her opponent’s head. “Makes a mare wonder. Jus’ how long ‘til ya’ll suffocate?”
Surprise stopped struggling. “Okay, wow. That got dark,” she stated, her voice muffled by the fleshy prison.
“Yeah, maybe a little,” Honey allowed. “But Ah’m still mad ya’ll did that. Ain’t no way that kind o’ move is legal in any sport.”
“You mean the move you’re doing right now?”
“Well, yeah, but the game’s already over. Yer disqualified fer pullin’ that illegal move. This is yer penalty box.”
While Honey remained sitting, Surprise pulled herself up, so she was standing while bent over at a ninety-degree angle and tapping her hoof to the pavement. “So your idea of punishment is to stick my head between your… uh, mega milkers, and that’s supposed to discourage my bad behavior?”
Honey averted her gaze. “Dang it! Why does havin’ perfect tits always have ta come back ‘n’ bite me?”
“Are you still on about that?”
“You don’t understand,” Honey dramatically bemoaned while fighting a smirk as she stared from the back of Surprise’s headless neck, down her back, and to the poofy tail wagging between the mighty cleft of her bum. “Ya’ll can’t possibly know what it’s like ta have teats so grand; they know they’re too good fer ya, so they never do what ya want ‘em to.”
“Keep talking like that, boulder butt, and I’m telling Luna,” Surprise threatened.
“Pssh, like Ah’m s’posed ta be afraid o’—”
“Excuse me.”
“Gah!” Honey jumped, accidentally tightening her grip on Surprise’s head and pulling her to the side. She looked off past the court’s edge to a brown stallion who was still trying to figure out what he was seeing.
“Um, is everything alright?”
“Move along, sir,” Surprise dismissed with a wave, her voice still muffled. “We’re just having a friendly spat. Nothing to see here.”
“Um, if you say so,” the stallion uncertainly allowed and walked away, keeping his eyes on the odd duo for as long as he could.
“Was he looking at my plot?” Surprise asked. “I bet he was looking at my plot.”
“Well, ya got it all hangin’ out up there like a signal fire. Ah’d look, too.”
“I knew it!” Surprise slammed her fist into her palm in vindication. “Also, while this smells nice, the air’s starting to get pretty thin, so…”
“Oh, sorry,” Honey said and finally released her friend. “Still, Ah hope ya’ll learned yer lesson from this.”
Surprise beamed. “I learned that if you slap your teats on a mare’s face, she’ll respond in kind. That’s a lesson I intend to pass down through the ages,” she somberly avowed, only for her growling stomach to kill the mood.
“Ya ready ta eat?”
“Definitely. Although did you bring marshmallows? I’m really craving marshmallows for some reason.”
Honey good-naturedly rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Nah, but I got some toasty hot buns if yer interested.”
The pair shared a laugh back to the basket and set up their picnic. They then ate shoulder-to-shoulder as their tails low-key wrestled for dominance.
“This is nice,” Honey said as she bit into her sandwich. “Jus’ a couple o’ gal pals havin’ a picnic under the stars. Ah should do this with Jona ‘n’ Plow sometime.”
“Plow is your gal pal?” Surprise asked after spitting out some melon seeds. “That must make Hearts and Hooves awkward.”
“Quit it,” Honey said as she shoved Surprise’s shoulder. She then let herself be shoved back, but didn’t continue the squabble. Instead, she resumed staring at the stars. “Luna sure went all out tonight.”
“Hmm, ya think so?”
“Ya’ll don’t?”
“Last week’s stars were prettier, so I think she’s taking a rest tonight.”
Honey chuckled. “Ya’ll call this a rest? If this were fireworks, ‘efore the Summer Sun Celebration was like a couple o’ sparklers, while this is that show they do up in Manehatten.”
“Yeah, but that’s my point,” Surprise clarified. “We’re finally seeing a professional at work, but it’s like she’s still rusty and getting back into her old groove.”
Honey was quiet for a while as she let this idea sink in. “Still? … Whoa.”
“Yeah,” Surprise sighed and rested her head on Honey’s shoulder as they both stared into the sky. “Our mare paints some pretty pictures.”
“She sure does,” Honey agreed and wrapped her hand around Surprise’s waist, pulling the white mare close. “She sure does.”
“Nervous?” Moonlight asked with a supportive smile as they sat in the castle infirmary’s waiting area. It was as plain and sterile as ever, but the temperature seemed colder than usual. Then again, she wasn’t wearing armor, hoping the more informal look would help set a more relaxed and casual tone.
“I guess that’s just a thing for doctors and me,” Thomas said in resignation as he sat beside the orange mare. “I’m an alien in a government medical facility, and there are too many stories for me to not compare.”
“Ah hear ya,” agreed Honey. “Doctors do good work, but somethin’ about ‘em jus’ don’t rub me the right way.”
“Well, you’re the professional rubber,” reminded Talon. “Maybe you should offer lessons?”
Thomas glowered at the griffon. “I have no idea if you’re being sarcastic or serious.”
Talon held her chin high, looking punchably smug. “Then I’ve done my job!”
“I know nothing of human anatomy, but stress isn’t healthy for ponies,” Jet stoically began. “In short, the tension exacerbates existing conditions while creating additional maladies. Stressing about visiting your doctor only gives the doctor more work in the long run.”
“She makes a good point,” Talon said as she stood. She walked the short distance to Thomas’ chair, turned around, and carefully planted her bare butt in his lap. Then, as she crossed her legs and wiggled her rump to get comfortable, she looked over her shoulder and asked, “Is this helping?”
Thomas snickered as he shook his head and buried his face between the griffon’s wings. The blend of fur and feathers tickled his cheeks. “Fuck, you’re too much,” he sighed happily as he rested his hands on her toned hips. Talon was far enough forward that there was no risk of getting poked through Thomas’ loincloth, so he got to enjoy her warm weight with minimal awkwardness.
Talon’s avian head swiveled to face Moonlight. “Hear that? I’m too much,” she boasted. “I guess that makes you just enough.”
Moonlight’s eyes narrowed. Even knowing what was happening, the mare was still incensed by the challenge. “He means I have a basic grasp of manners. Also, I’m used to wearing my armor, so doing that wouldn’t have worked.”
“Ah’d’ve done it, but this chair’s creaking enough as is,” Honey remarked. “If the thing broke when Ah sat on ‘im, well, at least it’d be a short trip fer treatment.”
Talon snickered. “You’d need an iron to pry him out of there,” she said while gesturing at the green mare’s enviable plot.
“Nah, the little fella’s a nimble one. He knows how ta wiggle out ‘f tight places.”
“Out?” Moonlight questioned. “If you’d said in, I’d agree, but out? I’ve seen no evidence of such things.”
“You can’t prove that,” Thomas countered. “For all I know, I got stuck somewhere a long time ago, and now I’m just living in some magical fantasy to distract from my inescapable prison.”
Talon blinked and looked back at Moonlight. “You guys are still writing, right? Cuz that sounds like a pretty good story.”
Moonlight nodded thoughtfully. “Hey, you’re right. A stallion goes through his day, living life like normal—”
“—and then there’s a flicker as he briefly wakes up to reality,” Thomas cut in. “Or, maybe there are flickers all the time, and he gets paranoid that reality isn’t real, and he eventually figures out how to trigger them to force himself to wake up.”
“Spooky,” Honey stated. “So, where does he wake up?”
“Well, we were just talking about your plot,” Moonlight reminded. “It could be, like, a romantic thing so that he can still be with his mare, even if just in a dream.”
“Hold on, let me get this straight,” Talon cut in. “You want the big twist of reality not being real to be that he’s stuck up his lover’s butt, can’t get out, so someone put a charm on him so he thinks he’s still free, and the whole thing is supposed to be romantic?” At Moonlight’s hesitant nod, the griffon added, “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life… and I think I love it.”
Moonlight chuckled her appreciation.
“Okay, that’s better than what I thought,” Thomas admitted. “I was just gonna go the classic horror route, like, he’s inside a giant stomach or something.”
Talon huffed through her beak’s nostrils. “You would think that, freaky little monkey.”
“Whaaat? I just said that Moonlight’s idea was better. Mine kinda borders on cliché.”
“That’s a common idea fer humans?” Honey questioned.
“Kind of. The movie ‘The Matrix’ kind of made the whole reality not-being-real thing a pretty famous twist. I’ve seen it done in other places, and it usually works, but it’s not a surprise anymore.”
“Well, Ah’d be surprised either way.”
“Hmm. Is choose-your-own-adventure a thing in Equestria?” inquired Thomas.
“It’s mostly in foals’ books, but yes,” Moonlight replied.
“Well, what about a short story with multiple endings, or maybe having both as separate stories?” Thomas questioned. “I don’t know the process for publishing short stories.”
“I’ve read a few journals with short stories, and having them as separate entries seems like the more traditional course,” Jet casually informed. “Then again, you might be able to leverage your position to convince a publicist to go with multiple endings. It could be hailed as a novel experiment, or an embarrassing act of indulgence. It will all depend on the story’s quality, I suppose.”
While everyone pondered this idea, the door to the back opened, and the nurse invited them in. The harem mares had done their job of lightening the mood, but, alas, the hour of judgment was upon them. As with their last visit, Nurse Check went through the routine of taking the young man’s weight, height, blood pressure, and so on. Then, with a verdict of normal, the nurse left the sizeable group in the cramped examination room to await the doctor.
Five seconds later…
“Ah, welcome back!” proclaimed Dr. Feelgood, as boisterous as ever, the white spot on his red-furred face just as distinct as last time.
Thomas smiled and extended his hand. “I’d say it’s good to be back, but that’s still pending.”
“Ha! I missed that wit,” Feelgood said as he shook the man’s hand, his expression calming as he levitated a pen and notepad from the folder under his arm. “So, like always, are there any new developments you’d care to share?”
Thomas pursed his lips as he held up both hands. “There was this weird thing with my wrists I told you about. I was climbing a tree, and they suddenly started stinging.”
Feelgood nodded as his magically held pen scribbled away. “Yes, I recall. And why were you climbing a tree, anyway? You weren’t… uh…” He trailed off as he looked around, seemingly noticing the extra company for the first time. “I’m assuming you’re comfortable with everypony here being privy to your private details?”
Thomas shrugged. “They’re my closest friends, so I’d end up telling them anyway.”
Jet quietly assumed the human meant to say they were his friends and guard. Although, he was right that she’d find out anyway, even if he didn’t know it. On that note, she straightened her stance for their unseen audience.
“Alright,” Feelgood allowed. “So, when you were climbing the tree, you weren’t doing anything you shouldn’t?”
“Like what?”
“For instance, spying on unsuspecting ponies, or perhaps setting up for some prank?”
“Well, I was kinda chasing a squirrel,” Thomas admitted with mild embarrassment. He then noted the scribbling pen and added, “Does that matter?”
“Possibly. You may have a geas. That’s a magically induced compulsion. For example, somepony may impose a geas to prohibit you from harming the innocent.”
“I don’t think squirrels qualify as innocent,” Thomas countered.
“And shouldn’t you have already tested for that?” Moonlight asked.
Feelgood shook his head. “Geasa are a rare form of mind magic and difficult to perform. Granted, most of the ponies who could cast such spells are right here in Canterlot, but most of them are under the Princess’s control, at least, to an extent.”
“May I inquire something?” Jet asked and earned a nod from the doctor. “When Sir Thomas initially arrived in Equestria, and his potential threat wasn’t yet determined, wouldn’t it have been prudent to cast a geas to keep him pacified?”
Moonlight scowled at the bat mare for her insensitivity and notably closed the distance with her man.
“Actually, I think I remember something about that,” Thomas stated. “Um, I think I heard someone say they tried but couldn’t.”
Feelgood nodded. “Indeed. Given your unknown status and grandiose manner of arrival, magicians were called in to apply a geas. However, it didn’t work.”
“Could you clarify?” Jet asked, trying to not let anyone realize how much she was tensing. “I was under the impression that only high-tier magicians could cast such protective wards.”
“And those would have been the same magicians who tried applying the geas in the first place,” Feelgood confirmed. “However, something about Thomas makes him impervious to most known forms of mind alteration magic.”
Jet could almost hear Firestorm’s chair creaking as he doubtlessly leaned forward to better examine his crystal ball.
Thomas’ brow furrowed as he thought. “Then how come Luna can enter my dreams? Isn’t that a kind of mind magic?”
“A kind, yes, but we’re not sure,” Feelgood admitted. “It might be that your mind is open to only her because of the bond you share, but that’s yet to be tested.”
“So, why’d ya bring up the geas thing if ya already knew it couldn’t work?” Honey asked.
“To clarify, it didn’t work when we tried it, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen,” Feelgood elaborated. “As I said, the bond you share with Luna may have been enough to circumvent whatever enables your natural resistance. Magic is notorious for such workarounds, which is why unicorns are taught to cast smarter, not harder. While unlikely, it’s possible that some third-party caster may have found some loophole. We’ll just have to add that to the next round of testing, but I wouldn’t worry. The majority of ponies even capable of such a thing are all loyal to the crowns. So, even if they did cast a geas, I’m sure they had a good reason.”
Thomas pursed his lips and looked around. When no one spoke out against the doctor’s words, the human eventually realized they were swayed by the argument. “Okay, this might be a different culture thing, but that doesn’t reassure me at all. I think I’d rather just do the test than assume the people secretly controlling my mind have the best intentions.”
“Fair enough,” Feelgood allowed.
“Not to get back on track, but what about his wrist pain?” Talon inquired.
“Ah, yes.” Feelgood began flipping through the papers in his folder, keeping his expression relatively neutral as he read. “Hmm, is there, perhaps, a human explanation?”
Thomas shrugged. “Carpal tunnel syndrome is, uh, inflammation in the wrists joints caused by certain repetitive movement. Though the biggest cause is handling technology that I haven’t touched since I got here, so I don’t think that’s it.”
“Repetitive movement, you say?” Feelgood inquired. “You wouldn’t consider your harem duties as qualifying?”
Thomas shook his head. “It’s more like if I was writing with a pen every day for hours on end. I think it’s about holding my wrist at an awkward angle for extended periods. If there’s a way to test for that, go for it, but I’ve been doing exercises that are supposed to alleviate the risk.” He then extended his straightened arms and began rotating his wrists to demonstrate.
Feelgood nodded as he studied the human’s motions. “Well, looking at your test results, the G4-Mage Sight, Mark V didn’t pick up anything resembling joint inflammation. In fact, the only thing we found around those areas is, well…” The doctor trailed off as he pulled a large, semi-shiny photo from the folder, and presented the paper for everyone to examine.
Thomas recognized the x-ray-looking image from back at the CRSA facility. Only this time, the red line connecting his wrist to his knuckles seemed brighter, and there were green and gold globs spackled randomly around his hand and arm. Curious, he looked around to check everyone’s reactions, but they seemed as confused as him.
“So, what ‘r’ we lookin’ at?” Honey asked, thankfully ending the silence.
“An anomaly, to say the least,” Feelgood said with a sigh, his boisterous enthusiasm gone as he stared at the image in scrutiny. “Part of the reason we brought in the Mark V was in response to anomalous findings from your tissue samples.” He looked around at the unfamiliar faces and added, “We’ve been taking periodic samples for testing since Thomas’ initial arrival, and the results have been… interesting, to say the least.”
Thomas swallowed and asked, “So, how bad is it?”
“First, I think I should explain about the samples we’ve been examining,” Feelgood began. “They’re mostly hair, tissue, and various fluids, and my team has been running them under a variety of tests. So far, the most interesting has been fiddling with the magic concentration in the area. You remember we discussed this last time.”
“A little,” Thomas confirmed. “Something about my wrists having no magic, but still giving off a magical reaction.”
“Indeed. Based on our observations, we can definitively conclude that there is zero magic in your body, which extends to your samples. We’ve been encasing them in low-tier wards for preservation, but the cell samples still have a relatively short life span compared to those of pony samples in equitable circumstances. However, the absence of magical wards seems to have a disproportionately profound effect on that lifespan. Further”—he paused and glanced at Thomas—“for those unfamiliar with the nature of magic, our world is filled with ambient magical energy averaging at about 100 sparks per square millimeter. Magical constructs, like wards, tend to attract that energy to them. The same goes with unicorns who cast too much. It’s like those things ponies throw in the wash to collect all the excess lint; only it’s your horn or a shield spell.”
“Oh, yeah, I learned a little about cleaning horns,” Thomas said, glad to actually have a point of reference for a change.
“Right, well, wards are a bit different than a horn. The magical gunk isn’t able to affix itself to anything. That’s just the ward doing its job of keeping unwanted things out. Instead, the ambient magic just gathers around like an invisible and easily dispatched cloud. It’s harmless, and, for us, we rarely need to do more than just wave our hands over a sample, so the scans don’t get clogged. Now, normally, the density of these clouds is proportionate to the strength of the spell cast, along with however long it’s been active. Hypothetically, if somepony as strong as Shining Armor were to cast his signature bubble shield on a room of this size, the ambient magic would concentrate to approximately 400 sparks per square millimeter, well above average. After an hour, that concentration would increase to roughly 800 sparks, thanks to all the magical gunk magnetized to the shield.”
Thomas nodded, following as best he could.
“Well, for the standard ward spells normally used by medical personnel to preserve samples, the concentration is only about 120-130 on initial casting and maybe 150 if maintained over the course of a year.” The doctor sighed, took another image from his folder, and set it up on a board for all to see.
Thomas couldn’t make heads or tails of the charts he was looking at. It looked like a nasty piece of modern art with numbers randomly scrawled all over the place.
By contrast, Moonlight and Jet could read the figures just fine, and they tensed.
“You see it, don’t you,” the doctor affirmed. “Assuming they’ve been maintained since their initial casting, the wards on Sir Thomas shouldn’t have a concentration heavier than 300.”
“So why is it 120 thousand?” Moonlight asked, gritting her teeth.
Thomas’ heart skipped a beat. If 800 was considered a lot, what the hell kind of number was 120 thousand?
“That’s the question we’ve been trying to answer,” Feelgood admitted grimly. “As I mentioned, we’ve been taking pinpoint readings from the start. We’ve timed the exact moments the wards were dispelled, as well as the moment the cell cultures died. What initially alarmed my team and me was the window of time between the dispelling of the wards and the beginnings of cell death. At first, the timeframe was pretty standard, with only minor variance. However, after a while, each dispelling saw a smaller and smaller timeframe before cell death. During that time, the ambient concentration didn’t disperse like it normally does during dispelling. In fact, the concentration only increased.” The doctor set some additional charts on the board next to the previous one.
“Oh, Faust,” Moonlight whimpered.
“Each time a sample was dispelled, the ambient magic would only increase in concentration. At first, it jumped from 120 thousand to 180. Ten tests later, it’d grown from 150 thousand to 220. Even samples being stored in different rooms were afflicted by this strange phenomenon. More perplexing was just how evenly the change happened. When the ambient concentration around one non-dispelled sample went up to 200 thousand, all of its fellow sample wards would experience equitable changes with minimal variance.”
Moonlight swallowed the lump in her throat. “Its… it’s almost like…”
“Like it’s being coordinated,” Feelgood finished grimly and reached for another paper on his desk. “We sent in for an expert in the behavior of ambient magic, and this was her take.” He cleared his throat. “All magic has a quasi-consciousness about it. Many researchers have theorized that the world as we know it can be thought of as a singular magical macro organism, with concepts such as Harmony acting in the role of a specific body organ or even organ system. When a unicorn casts a spell, or an earth pony feeds life into the dirt to encourage plant growth, it can be likened to the brain sending signals to cells to maintain regulatory function. We act on the world’s behalf, she says.”
“And what does that have to do with Thomas?” Moonlight asked.
Dr. Feelgood clucked his tongue and resumed reading. “If nature can be said to hate a vacuum, then magical nature can be said to take a vacuum as a personal insult. The figures we’ve shown here have only ever been replicated in labs. Voids without magic, as far as has been observed, almost never form naturally. When they do form, they’re short-lived as the ambient magics wash in to fill them up with remarkable haste.
“In previous experiments where voids were constructed artificially, she saw much the same results as we’re getting. The concentration of ambient magic around the wards starts within normal parameters, but, with repetition, grows with remarkable speed over time. The density of these concentrations is furthered by numerous factors, including the size and quantity of each void, as well as how frequently the wards maintaining them were dispelled. The behavior of the magic in these circumstances can best be likened to an animal living out in the untamed wilds. At first, it’s skittish of anything new intruding in its environment. However, as time passes, the animal grows more and more bold, keeping an increasingly close eye on the intruder as it anticipates its opportunity to pounce… assuming carnivorous behavior, of course.”
Finally, Feelgood folded up the paper. “In layman’s terms, the magic of the world is aware that Thomas is a void. It can’t move through the wards, though. At least not yet. Right now, although the ambient magic senses the void, it’s held at bay by the wards. However, the instant those wards go down…”
“Cell death,” Thomas lifelessly droned. “Most of that stuff went over my head, but I think I get the picture. The magic is aware I’m not magical, and it’s trying to kill me.”
“That’s a rather gross mischaracterization of the situation,” Feelgood corrected. “The magic isn’t trying to kill you, but fill you.”
“Which ends badly,” Talon interjected, her clawed hand on Thomas’ shoulder.
Feelgood pursed his lips as he stared off in thought. “It might be too early to say, but my colleagues have speculated that the ambient magic might be trying to not cause injury.”
“Explain,” Jet stated with blunt urgency.
“The differing concentrations. They follow an experimental mentality. The ambient magic is trying to do more than just fill the void. And with centuries of thaumatological research at our disposal, it’s not outlandish to theorize that the ambient magic is trying to achieve its goal with minimal harm.”
“But you just said magic is just like nature. Why does nature give a damn?” Thomas asked, shaking.
Feelgood seemed taken aback by the question. “Because… magic cares. Those with wicked intentions may twist their personal magic toward malicious ends, but on the whole, magic ranges from neutral to benevolent. It doesn’t want to hurt you.”
“And what about mistakes?” Thomas darkly countered. “You just said that all the cell samples die, so whatever the magic is doing, it’s not working.”
Feelgood needed a moment to think about that one. “If this theory holds, then the most prudent action might be to continue as we have. If we continue our dispelling experiments, then the ambient magic can likewise continue its own testing procedures. And with this new goal in mind, we can try guiding the dispelling method, like digging a trench to guide the river down a desired path. All we need is for you to maintain your current wards while we continue taking samples for study. Although, if you’re willing to increase your output, that could give both us and the ambient magic more to work with. Eventually, with enough trial and error, one of us is bound to succeed.” Feelgood’s smile finally returned with optimistic zeal, but it was tempered by Thomas’ lack of response.
“So, the only thing we can do is stay the course?” Thomas clarified. “No new drugs or anything?”
“Are there stronger wards we should apply?” Moonlight added.
Feelgood thoughtfully clucked his tongue. “The present wards are relatively minor, providing mild protection against temperature and low-level damage to your soft feet. Stepping on a sharp rock won’t hurt as bad, but a nail will still pierce your flesh. However, that actually works to our advantage. Lower-level wards aren’t as complex, which means they won’t break as easily. Going back to Shining Armor for an example. If his shield takes enough damage—”
“Then the whole thing comes down,” Thomas cut in. At everyone’s wary looks, he elaborated, “Yeah, that’s gonna happen, but I already told the Princesses.” His thoughts filled with images of the season two finale. Only, instead of a swarm of changelings pouring into the city, it was bacteria-shaped magic pouring into his body until he either popped like a balloon, or shriveled into a mummy.
Equestria is fated to face a force that will overpower the Captain’s signature spell? Lovely, Jet thought, making a mental note to inquire if Firestorm knew anything.
Feelgood nodded. “Yes, well, Shining’s spell is high-tier and designed to keep physical and magical forces from passing through, but dispel upon failure. By contrast, your low-tier spells are much softer and won’t break as easily, even if overpowered. That works for our purposes because we’re more worried about the ambient magic than any nails on the floor. So long as the wards stay up, you’re fine. However, for the time being, I’d advise against applying additional or stronger wards. You see, wards are of the same class of magic, and have been known to stack and even blend together if different spells are applied to the same subject. That runs the risk of turning your soft protection hard, which could leave you vulnerable to the hypothetical nail.”
“Wouldn’t a sufficiently hard spell stop the nail from causing damage at all?” Jet asked.
“Yes, but there’s a limit,” Feelgood countered. “Stepping slowly onto something like a sharp rock is different from stomping down with all your might. One is a mild annoyance, while the other might break the skin. Somewhere between the extremes, there’s a threshold for skin breaking, and the only way to know where it is, is to test levels of force. As things stand, your current wards are tantamount to carefully stepping through sharp objects at a safe level, but amplifying the wards would be like increasing the force of each step, which could potentially breach the threshold under the right circumstances. It might seem counterintuitive, but my assessment of the current data is that adding extra protection is not in your best interests.”
“What happens if a situation arises where additional wards are necessary, like an attack?” Moonlight asked.
Feelgood nodded. “Yes, thank you for reminding me. There are ways to apply wards to keep them from blending so that breaching one ward won’t undo the rest. Now, where did I put that?” Feelgood patted his lab coat until he pulled a pamphlet out from one of his pockets. “This should give you a basis for the casting method. But if that doesn’t seem sufficient, then there are references at the end for more in-depth reading.”
“Thank you!” Moonlight’s breathy voice was nearly a shout as she took the paper.
Curious, Thomas watched the mare unfold the item like a brochure. Only, instead of walls of text artistically scattered about and broken up by relevant pictures, there were mostly elaborate symbols he recognized from magical textbooks. Magic had its own language, similar to music, but Thomas couldn’t read either. The only parts he understood were the book titles in the bottom right corner.
Thomas watched Moonlight as she fervently studied the pamphlet. Her horn randomly gave faint glows in what he understood to be the equivalent of reading while moving one’s lips. She was being proactive in his treatment, already assuming the role of a spousal nurse taking care of her sick loved one. It was moving, but also painful to watch. This wasn’t something Thomas could do on his own, like remembering to take pills at specific times throughout the day. A magic user was needed to solve a magical issue, and he was utterly at the mercy of both. More so, it hurt to think how this was just one more thing that his pony loved ones were doing for him while his contributions seemed less and less substantial.
It was easy for the human to detach himself from the moment and look at things from a more analytical perspective. In terms of a cost/benefit analysis, all the effort put into keeping this one human happy and healthy seemed like a net loss. Of course, Thomas knew better than to even suggest such a thing. To voice such thoughts would only anger those who cared for him. It would also be disrespectful to so callously disregard the effort Moonlight was prepared to put into his care. She loved him, after all. Of course, were their situations reversed, Thomas wouldn’t be angry if his loved one said that his help wasn’t worth the effort. He’d just ignore them and help anyway. Then again, if they fought back enough, or made a compelling argument to simply let things end, then he might stop.
However, Thomas wasn’t strong enough to fight a pony on anything, least of all one as precious as Moonlight, and he doubted he could conjure a decent argument. Besides, thinking things through, the doctor had essentially said to just keep doing what they were already doing, so it wasn’t like there was any added burden. They just had to be wary that what was once a mundane routine was now vital to his life. All things considered, things could definitely be worse. It’s not like he was a bedridden invalid or losing himself to a failing memory. However, the gravity of the situation was still daunting and oppressive.
And, getting back to the point, Thomas refused to let others handle everything. He needed to also take a proactive approach in his care. “Just to be clear, going with the nail analogy, what do I need to be on the lookout for?”
Feelgood nodded. “Although this is somewhat uncharted territory, some of Equestria’s brightest medical minds came up with this theory. So, if it holds, then you shouldn’t have to worry about nails at all. How often do you renew these wards?”
Thomas looked to Moonlight. “Don’t you do them every morning?”
“Most mornings, but I may skip a night if they seem strong enough.” Moonlight then looked to Feelgood and added, “No more skipping, right?”
“That’s advisable, yes. However, these kinds of wards can last days in a single casting. While daily renewal would be best, there’s no reason to fret if you miss a morning or two. In fact…” Feelgood leaned forward and lit his horn, shining a broad spotlight that traced across Thomas’s body. “By my assessment, if this is your standard casting, then this ward should last about five days or so. Anything beyond that is pushing it. So, if you’re ever in a situation where you can’t renew your wards, you’ve got some wiggle room.”
“That would be a guard’s ultimate failure,” Jet grimly stated.
Moonlight nodded and put her hand on Thomas’ arm. “I promise I won’t let that happen to you.”
Jet thumped her fist to her chest in a salute. “So long as you are in my care, you shall not leave my sight,” she vowed. She’d have to talk with Firestorm about reassessing their strategy if it ever looked like Thomas might be captured by an enemy. She doubted if the doctor knew the odds of Thomas exploding if the wards failed, and it wouldn’t be wise to ask at this time. However, Firestorm was likely already calling on his connections to assess this possibility, and determine if killing the human was in Equestria’s best interests.
“Also, because someone’s gotta ask, what exactly happens if the wards fail?” Thomas inquired.
“They won’t,” Moonlight assured. “I won’t let that happen.”
“I know you won’t, but sometimes, things are out of our control.” Thomas turned from his mare, already feeling guilt over seemingly questioning her commitment and abilities, and faced Feelgood. “But I have to know. Worst-case scenario, what happens?”
Thank you, Jet thought while remaining stoic.
Feelgood’s nostrils flared with a snort. “Based on the latest available data, total cell death should occur in a matter of seconds. We haven’t tested for the potential for pain because we won’t let that happen. However, whatever ends up happening, it would be over quick.”
“So, I’ll just shrivel up like a dehydrated corpse, or something?” Thomas’ words made those around him flinch.
“Stars, chimp! You are one morbid little alien,” Talon stated in alarm.
“To be clear, I trust in the abilities of Moonlight, Luna, and any other unicorn assigned to your care,” Feelgood stressed. “More likely, should the worst happen, and given our projected acceleration in experiments, you’ll be dead before you hit the ground with no immediately visible cause. Your body will simply cease to function.”
“So, you don’t foresee any other likely outcomes?” Jet inquired.
“We’ve projected a few possibilities, including an explosion.” At least Feelgood had the self-awareness to realize and feel guilty about how his lack of bedside manner affected those around him. “But, that’s so unlikely, it’s not even worth mentioning. You’d have better luck playing the national lottery.”
Thomas nodded with a sigh. “So, that’s it then? Just keep applying wards until the magic in the air figures out how to not kill me?”
“In a manner, yes,” Feelgood confirmed. “Though, you have my word that my team will be working around the clock to ensure that doesn’t happen.”
Thomas decided against pointing out how that line was getting repetitive. The guy was only doing his job, and being dickish to someone working to save his life seemed counterintuitive, to say the least. “Is there anything else?”
“At this time, no, unless you had any further questions,” Feelgood inquired.
Thomas looked between those surrounding him. No one said a thing, faces sullen as the facts sink in. “I guess not.” He hopped out of the chair, and his bare feet hit the floor with a soft thud, making Moonlight flinch. Shit, he thought, already seeing how this revelation would impact his life, and dreading the impending conversation with the others.
It was the morning—or night… or whatever the hell you called the time when nocturnal people first woke up—after Thomas’ diagnosis. Either way, it was too damn early to get hung up on semantics. That day’s erotic escapades were unsatisfactory, to say the least. Who knew that a terminal diagnosis could be such a buzzkill? Well, it was only a potentially terminal diagnosis, but again, no one was in any mood to deal with semantics.
Anyway, Thomas woke up. As usual, he found himself engulfed in a pony pile and had to extricate his puny form from their ample figures. Well, ‘had’ was a relatively strong word. He ought to pull himself free, but no one was going to force him. Besides, he recognized that Moonlight’s back was against his chest while Luna’s titanic tits enveloped his upper body. Somehow, another pair of massive breasts had engulfed most of his legs, and he was pretty sure those belonged to Surprise. Based on how the dim light poked through the holes covering the ‘ceiling,’ he estimated that he wasn’t looking at a blanket. As his eyes adjusted in the dark, he made out Silver’s familiar shape. There was also Talon’s fluffy head feathers against his lower legs, and somewhere, in the midst of this mess, was Honey’s smell. Basically, everyone was here. So, even if he could summon the superhuman strength to get out, he lacked the willpower even on a good day.
Accepting this predicament, the man shifted a little to make himself comfy. Feeling the blankets of soft and supple mare flesh glide across his skin was merely a welcome bonus. His hotdog between Moonlight’s buns was more pleasant than arousing, as he had no desire to hump himself flaccid and spray his mess across her back. Instead, it was more satisfying to simply lie there and revel in everyone’s touch. Science showed that babies deprived of human touch became emotionally stunted, and adults were only somewhat less needy. Mind-blowing sex was great and all, but at that moment, Thomas couldn’t imagine anything better than waking up pressed against the warm bodies of his loved ones.
“Morning,” Moonlight yawned, sounding more awake than the human. “I see you’re up.”
“You see nothing,” Thomas said into her back. “Go back to sleep.”
“Ya’ll heard the li’l fella. Jus’ let ‘im be,” Honey groaned, her movement rippling out and causing everyone else to stir.
“Aww, do we have to get up now?” Surprise whined. “This is too cozy.”
“Just shut up and keep your eyes closed,” grumbled Talon as she hugged the white mare’s thighs. “That’s a harem trick. If you look cute enough, no one bothers you.”
Luna huffed her contempt. “Liar. If you just lie there looking cute, you leave yourself vulnerable to fiendish snuggling.” She emphasized her point by guiding her tail to tickle the wren’s wings.
“Hey, no fair,” Talon whined, trying to fan her wings as though swatting an aggravatingly persistent fly. “Snuggles are fine. Just don’t make me have to get up.”
“Hmm, Moonlight, might you please release my leg?” Silver requested. “As much as I hate to leave my perch—”
“Then shut up and don’t,” Talon cut in.
“—I have to pee,” Silver finally finished.
Alas, the bat mare had triggered the first domino. At her word, everyone else likewise realized they’d been holding it in for far too long. So, one by one, the pile untangled itself, and everyone filed into the bathroom for their morning business. This included recharging Thomas’s wards. The human noted with a mix of disgust and amusement how utterly indifferent everyone was while playing horned instruments on the toilet, contorting their faces in the mirror, and showing off their natural, unkempt selves. At some point, they’d exited the honeymoon phase, and were all free to fart in front of each other. Although, Thomas was still a nervous pisser, and opted to take his turn last.
“What’s the schedule look like for tonight?” Moonlight asked as she brushed her horn.
“Busy,” Luna sighed after spitting. “Night court will be brief, but I have several appointments in the city. Ribbon cuttings, meetings, meetings during ribbon cuttings. Here, look.” Her horn lit and projected a map onto the mirror, followed by a yellow line starting at the castle, and then bouncing all across the display.
“Full tour,” Honey noted. “‘Bout time ya got that big plot movin’,” she said, lightly hip-checking the taller mare. “Though, that don’t look right. Ya stop by this one spot, go halfway across the city, only ta come back barely a block from that last spot. Who planned this?”
“Attentive Eye,” Luna answered. “This is actually the more efficient path, if you believe it.”
“Ah don’t.”
“It looks more like a game of tennis, but with a round court instead of a square one,” appraised Surprise.
“Surprise and Silver were on duty yesterday,” Thomas recounted as he applied toothpaste to the brush. “So, I think that makes it my and… Honey’s turn?” He looked to the green mare for confirmation, and she nodded.
“Don’t forget me,” Moonlight added.
“Chh, you’re the chimp’s shadow,” Talon dismissed as she ran a comb through her head feathers. “As if you wouldn’t go with him.”
“Not true,” Moonlight countered, still brushing her horn. “In fact, we’ve been working to separate our schedules more, so we can live our own lives.”
“Hmph. If you want independence, try doing what we do,” Talon replied. “‘Leste likes to send us as stand-ins on her behalf when she can’t make all her appointments. That’s what I’ll be doing tonight while the rest of you lazy butts either sit around or get sat on.”
“Ooh, that sounds fun!” Surprise chirped.
“But does that not show favoritism?” Silver asked. “It sounds as though you are sending a message that some appointments are worthy of the Princess while others are not.”
“But… they are,” Luna stated matter-of-factly. “A thousand and one events occur every day and night in a city this size, and only a fraction are worthy of royal acknowledgment. But even alicorns can’t be in two places at once… officially. Having our trusted concubines be our stand-ins is a fine substitute for lesser appointments.”
“I think the lesser part is what Silver’s talking about,” Thomas reasoned. “Some random nobody’s birthday getting ignored by the ruler of a country is expected. But if you’re bouncing around the city and making time for one rich guy’s party, but not another because he’s not as rich, well, it’s kind of like snubbing, I think.”
“High society is sensitive to that kind of stuff, but even they can be reasonable sometimes,” Talon explained. “They’ve got their own internal meetings to schedule this stuff. It’s like family planning so that birthdays don’t overlap. If things are planned right, the only way to snub someone is to put in the effort. Though, if someone tries throwing a fancy party without going through the right channels, that’s a kind of drama even I don’t wanna mess with. The point is, yeah, it’s favoritism, but it’s understandable favoritism. No one’s gonna feel snubbed.”
Thomas nodded thoughtfully. “In that case, as Senior Concubine, I’d like to start a system like that for the harem.” The silence that followed was deafening.
“Ya’ll sure yer up fer that?” Honey asked, voicing what everyone else was thinking.
“It just occurred to me that most of this stuff is public speaking, which isn’t my strong suit,” Thomas admitted. “So, I’ll just have to practice. Besides, we can just start with some small stuff and see how it goes from there.”
“An excellent idea. However, would not Surprise or myself be better candidates for such an endeavor?” Silver suggested. “She’s already a pony person—”
“It’s true,” Surprise cheerfully agreed.
“—and I am well-acquainted with high society etiquette.”
“Good, then you can teach me,” Thomas said before Silver could further argue why he shouldn’t do anything. “It still feels weird that I’m technically your boss, but I am, and I don’t want to be the kind of boss who sits back while everyone else works. I don’t think that anyone who doesn’t lead by example deserves to lead at all—ow!” Thomas rubbed his sore bottom and whirled around to spy Talon’s tail in retreat. He stared at her in confusion.
“Be careful what you say, chimp. Alicorns are emotional and highly unstable creatures, and one wrong word could set them off. It doesn’t matter how exhausted they are. Once those horny fun bags get their second wind, you risk walking funny for the next three days.” She then casually gestured with her beak, barely tearing her eyes from her reflection as she made herself pretty.
Thomas followed the wren’s gesture, his brain failing to register the reflection, and nearly jumped. Luna was bearing down on him with fiery intensity. Even at their distance, her hot breath still pelted his face while her heavy chest rose and fell with mighty huffs. Her tail rapidly wagged to fan her scent while her wings had that telltale twitch from fighting a wing-boner. The man blinked a moment more before finally finding his voice. “Did my wanting to do more stuff seriously make you horny?”
Luna first answered nonverbally when she levitated him up to eye level, tenderly snaked her large hands across his back, and pulled their lips together. The kiss was just shy of being too passionate. No tongue. However, she still had a heavy blush when she pulled away. “I’m proud of my stallion for standing tall against adversity. Now, deal with the consequences.” Her command brokered no argument as she carried him back to the bedroom.
“Uh, not that I’m complaining,” Thomas began as Luna set his feet on the floor near the bed. He watched with increasing awareness as she got to her knees and draped her body over the bed, ass up and tail flagged. “But, uh…” He was pretty sure he had something to say.
“You think yourself weak,” Luna accused, fighting the mewling whine that wanted to come out as her rump bounced with an enticing jiggle. “I know you. Even outside of your dreams, I know you. You think that you’re a leech who doesn’t pull his weight, but you don’t want to be that. You want to be better. So, instead of taking this bad news as an excuse to roll over and become that which you fear, you’re doing what you can to be better. You’re seizing control of your destiny, bettering yourself, and my marehood feels like it’s on fire!” she growled with growing intensity. “So, either clean up the mess you made, or—” *Thwack* “—Yipe!”
Even after the swift spank, Thomas kept his hand over Luna’s bottom, rubbing the beautiful, expansive flesh until the soreness faded. “As if there’s another option,” he laughed as he took his position behind his mare. With Silver or Moonlight, he could put his hands on the mare’s hips. But with Luna, he’d have to throw himself across her bountiful butt and lower back just to reach. Instead, he contented himself with pressing his palms into her rump’s soft and warm flesh. Pressure caused his hands to sink into the skin like memory foam on a mattress, only a lot more fun because he felt the lift beneath his fingers.
Enticed by the sounds from outside, Silver was the first to finish her hygienic business and rushed for a spot with an ideal view. She found it where she could see the front of Thomas’ hips disappear into the ample plushness of the alicorn’s rear. The bat mare bit her lips and clamped her thighs together, but did not move to intervene. Luna had specifically chosen Thomas, and it seemed like this was something special between them. However, just because the posh and proper mare couldn’t join in, there was little to stop her from watching.
Luna bayed as Thomas played with her, rolling her cheeks like they were his personal toy. He pried them apart and pushed his pelvis forward, teasing at her dripping sex with his morning wood. The air was hot around his junk as the mare wiggled to help align everything. “How is this still so amazing to see, even after all this time?” he asked as his tip poked Luna’s clit, making everything bounce.
“It’s either an ancient alicorn secret,”—Talon began as she casually joined beside Silver—“or you’ve just got a thing for big asses. Oh, and maybe butts too, but that’s just a theory.” Smirking, the wren’s claw struck downward, catching Silver’s tail mid-whip. She turned a shit-eating grin on the shorter concubine and said, “Nice try, little filly. Next time, give it your a-game.”
Thomas moaned when he finally slipped inside. Luna’s marehood was large enough to take stallions several times his size, but her inhuman muscle control made her impossibly tight when she wanted. The mare was literally the best of all worlds, and the moist embrace caused the man to fall forward into her vast crack.
Honey poked her head out of the bathroom and said, “Ah’ll get the water ready. Ya’ll hurry so we can get clean. Busy schedule ‘n’ all that, ‘n case ya fergot.”
“Hey, don’t hurry him,” Moonlight whispered while yanking the taller mare back inside. “He needs this.”
Honey leveled a flat stare at the shorter mare. “Ah’m pretty sure the last thing he wants is ta be coddled,” she whispered back. “That was bummin’ him out even before this mess, so more’ll only make it worse.”
Moonlight’s ears splayed as she faced the door, seemingly trying to look through the wooden obstruction to the source of the erotic sounds beyond.
Honey then adopted a gentler expression and put a hand on the unicorn’s shoulder. “He’s yer stallion, so ya wanna help. Ah get it, but ya gotta remember that he ain’t a regular stallion. Humans got their own issues that even we’re tryin’ ta figure out, like how he wants ta be more involved in stuff. So, fer now, just be there fer ‘im, ‘n’ trust he knows his own limits.”
“But what if he doesn’t?” Moonlight whispered back.
“Just sit on him,” Surprise answered plainly. “If he goes overboard, just put him in his place… under that sweet, orange-flavored booty. Didn’t I tell you about that?”
Moonlight whickered her lips and slumped her shoulders. “Get involved, but not too involved. I’m glad we cleared that up.”
“More like be on standby ‘n’ use yer best judgment,” Honey amended. “Kinda like standin’ guard.”
“Okay, yes, that sounds better. Thanks.”
Honey then craned her head down and kissed the unicorn’s cheek. “Hey, we’re a weird herd, but a herd, all the same. Lookin’ out fer each other comes with the territory.”
“Preach it,” chuckled Surprise as she wrapped an arm around Moonlight’s neck and pulled her close. “Let him know he can lean on you by leaning on him a little. I may not get all that stuff about experimenting magic, but I know that the worst thing any of us can do is get down in the dumps. In herds like these, moods are as contagious as disease, with symptoms just as annoying.”
Finally, the noise in the main room reached its crescendo before going quiet.
“Thanks, guys,” Moonlight sighed as she shared nuzzles with her pseudo herd mates.
Everyone gathered in the bathing pool with Luna at the center. Cleaning her massive body was the priority since her job was the most important. At least, that’s how it read on paper, but the concubines would argue their tasks were the more demanding, what with how needy alicorns could be. Besides, it was kind of fun how Silver would start washing Luna’s arm, only for the more massive mare to suddenly lift her limb high while the bat mare hung as though from monkey bars.
“Okay, I have been thinking about this since we went to bed,” Silver began. “Feel free to tell me if I am speaking from my rear, but I have to say it.” She took a breath, keenly aware of all eyes upon her. “If the ambient magic is experimenting with Thomas, can we not do the same?”
“How do you mean?” Luna asked.
Silver glanced between Moonlight and Luna. “You magic users likely understand more than I, but if the problem is that Thomas has no magic, then would the solution not be to give him magic?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound as stupid as she felt.
“It kinda sounded like the doctors were already doing that with my cells,” Thomas reminded.
“Yes, but the way you described it, it sounded as though their actions were on par with opening the floodgates, letting everything in at once. Now, unless I misunderstood the core issue, which is likely, then would an incremental approach not be more preferable?”
Everyone exchanged curious looks.
“I… don’t think Feelgood mentioned that,” Thomas concluded.
Luna’s horn lit as a quill and parchment manifested before her face, and she quickly jotted the first part of a message. “We must ensure the doctors consider all variables,” she firmly stated before turning her sights back on Silver. “We’ll have to wait for their reply, but I’d like to further explore this idea before sending an inquiry. As such, was there something in particular that you had in mind, my dearest Silver?”
Silver cleared her throat and averted her gaze as her cheeks reddened. “Well, it is like when you give one of us a stallionhood. It is a minor, temporary augment that we dismiss as soon as it proves too inconvenient to keep. What if the change was even lighter and purely superficial? Could something like that slowly acclimate Thomas to magic?”
All eyes now fell upon the horned mares. And then an additional pair of eyes fell upon the tallest horned mare.
“That… seems plausible,” Luna allowed. “However, I reviewed a copy of the charts. It seems that one of the challenges to such an experiment is how quickly the ambient magic moves in once the barriers go down. Essentially, magic floods the non-magical cells only slightly slower than light fills a dark room.”
“If that’s a note to Feelgood, then ask about food,” Thomas added. “If magic is already in literally everything, then I’ve been eating and drinking magic this whole time. Shouldn’t that have done something?”
“An excellent point,” Luna noted as the pin scribbled.
Thomas stared at his dripping hands, imagining the invisible barrier that essentially protected him from this world’s deadly radiation. Well, the comparison wasn’t perfect, as this radiation was semi-conscious and possibly experimenting with his cells to achieve whatever it determined to be the best outcome.
“What if the barriers don’t go down?” Surprised asked. “The wards that protect those cute little toseys don’t have to go down if we, like, turn his feet into hooves, right?”
“Would givin’ ‘im a different skin color do anythin’?” inquired Honey. “We wanna start small, right? So, changin’ skin color sounds so small, it might as well not be nothin’.”
“Since we’re all talking out of our butts anyway, I’d say that sounds less than what magical food ought to be doing,” Thomas noted before facing the horned mares for clarification.
“I should think so,” agreed Luna.
“There’s just so much we don’t know,” Moonlight countered in deep thought. “I’m remembering my old roommates from the Academy discussing theories about hypotheticals. Things that could only be speculated on because the conditions simply didn’t occur in nature, or things so common that no pony even thinks about them until you bring up what might happen if those conditions were absent.”
“So, I’m both the trailblazer and the trail, huh?” Thomas reasoned, internally questioning why this discussion was exciting him so much. “Neat.”
“I wouldn’t feel comfortable blazing any trails unless it was under the safest possible conditions,” Moonlight asserted.
“So, back to the quarantine room?” Thomas asked as he recalled his first apartment after coming to Equestria. Luna’s quarters were definitely an upgrade, but let it not be said that ponies didn’t know how to treat accidental alien invaders. Sure, the doctor ponies wore thick insulation whenever they crossed the magical barrier to so much as take his temperature, but the room itself was nothing to scoff at. The bedding was damn soft, they offered a curtain for the toilet after he asked, there was no shortage of reading material, and the food seemed to go out of its way to put standard hospital cuisine to shame. All that was missing was a window and a TV, and it would have at least passed for a two-star hotel.
“You sound oddly amicable to the idea,” Silver warily observed.
“It honestly wasn’t too bad. Plus, this time, I’d have more than just one cute mare to keep me company.”
Surprise shivered. “Being cooped up all day sounds so… grherher. You introverts are cute and all, but you can freak me out sometimes.”
“Don’t ya’ll spend most ‘f yer day cooped up in here?” questioned Honey.
“It’s not cooped up if it’s by choice,” Surprise countered. “Being locked up somewhere with no way out is one of my greatest fears. I don’t see how you can stand it.”
“Introvert powers,” answered Talon while smirking at Thomas. “The quiet freaks can just live in their own heads to deal with boredom. Lucky jerks.”
Thomas smiled back. “I’m not apologizing.”
“I believe we are, as you say, jumping the gun with discussions of quarantine,” Luna gently informed as her horn continued writing. “We still don’t know what the doctor will say. For now, are there any other suggestions?” When none came, Luna signed the parchment and ignited it in green flame, the smoke blowing through the balcony door to its location. “In that case, I believe things are as settled as they can be, and we have a night shift to begin.”
Three days had passed, with only a courtesy note from Feelgood’s office, confirming that they’d received the letter. That was okay, though, as everyone simply chose to believe the doctor was too busy working.
Meanwhile, Talon and Silver oversaw Thomas’ speaking lessons. The latter helped with the basics and drew up practice speeches on a myriad of topics. The former presented herself as a living obstacle, heckling with overly harsh criticism. One time, she even threw a doughnut at the poor guy’s groin, joking that she would have had a ringer if he hadn’t sabotaged her with his uniform. Her aim was honestly pretty impressive. However, Thomas was grateful to them both for helping him feel productive and take his mind off things. Moonlight was never far, offering what support she could, while Jet would occasionally blink to remind everyone that she wasn’t a lifeless statue. Presently, Talon had gathered a handful of servants who agreed to play audience for fifteen bits each.
Thomas stood in one of the castle’s spare bedrooms beside a large ribbon while holding a pair of comically oversized scissors. Forcing a smile as he faced the handful of filled chairs, and silently grateful everyone agreed his loincloth made him look more professional, he greeted, “Welcome, everyone, to—”
“Everypony!” Talon jeeringly corrected. “The ponies are pony centric, remember?”
“It’s fine if he’s not a pony,” Silver countered before nodding for Thomas to continue.
“Welcome, everyone, to the unveiling of the Potter’s District Library.”
“Wasn’t it a reopening?” asked a mare in the audience dressed as a maid.
“Yeah, the Potter’s District Library had some refurbishing or something,” agreed a stallion in a butler’s uniform.
“That is accurate, but ignore the peanut gallery,” Silver whispered from off to the side.
“—to the grand reopening of the Potter’s District Library. I know it’s been a pain for all of you to add those extra minutes of travel just to keep up with your favorite series. Luckily, the—”
“Wouldn’t you go to a bookstore to keep up with something?” asked a different mare.
“Yeah, libraries are for the free stuff, like study materials for boring essays,” agreed Talon as she shot Thomas a challenging look.
Recalling his lessons, Thomas focused on the orange unicorn sitting patiently in the audience and tuned out the rest. “Luckily, the wait is over, and the gift of convenient knowledge has been returned to you.” He then squeezed the scissors’ handles, which made a satisfying sound as the blades slid through the ribbon, which was just an old bedsheet that was due to be thrown out. Thomas’ forced smile grew slightly more sincere as he resumed facing Moonlight. “Thank you, everyone, for this opportunity to serve my community.”
“Kiss ass foreigner,” jeered Talon, only to shrug when Moonlight gave her a dirty look. “What? It’s happened to me. The chimp needs to get used to this stuff.” She then resumed facing the mock stage. “Where’s your cutie mark? Stallions like you should be plowing the fields at home!” The wren seemed far too pleased with herself for making the rest of the audience shift uncomfortably from her sexist remarks.
“You know what? You’re absolutely right,” Thomas agreed. “Thanks again for joining me, everyone. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a dark field as entrancing as the night that needs a thorough plowing from an expert. Goodbye.” And he stepped to the side, leaving many audience members with either mouths agape from his audacity or hands over their faces to suppress their snickers.
Except for Talon, who nodded her approval. “Well played, monkey boy. Well played.”
“I have strong concerns about making such remarks at the actual presentation,” Silver assertively chided. “You are here to represent the Princess, which necessitates nothing less than the highest levels of decorum.”
“But… wasn’t someone supposed to introduce me as Luna’s concubine?” Thomas frankly questioned. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows what that job is, right?” He then faced the audience to check, and most nodded.
“That is still no excuse for such crassness,” Silver argued. “You serve a vital role in helping an alicorn Princess, our long-lost and beloved Princess, alleviate her carnal needs so that she may act with a clear head and serve the nation fortunate enough to have her.”
“He puts his tiny dick in her giant plot, and his lower half basically disappears,” Talon countered, earning amusing reactions from the servants, who weren’t sure if they were even allowed to hear such things.
“Talon!” Silver barked. “That is supposed to be confidential!”
The wren shrugged with a shit-eating grin. “What? They were all thinking it. If the little guy mounts that big plot from behind, what else would happen?” She then grabbed a nearby maid’s shoulder, making the mare jump. “Admit it. You were picturing them getting down and wondering how it worked.”
The maid strained to grin. “W-well, now, I am.”
“I’ll bet you’ve got questions, huh? Well, go on then. Ask him.” Talon gestured at the puzzled human. “What’s it like mounting a mare with butt cheeks bigger than you are?”
“Is this still part of the simulation, or are you just being you?” Moonlight asked.
“Yes/probably yes,” Talon answered at roughly the same time as Thomas, making both snicker as the other concubines made exasperated noises.
“They’re gonna ask,” Talon asserted, even while slouching and grinning. “You better have some kind of comeback.”
Thomas straightened his back and pulled up his shoulders, trying to look as dignified as possible. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but my fair lady wouldn’t like it if I went around sharing her secrets.”
“So what? It’s just sex,” Talon countered. “We all do it. What makes Luna so special?”
“A lot, actually. She’s a woman who’s done so much for me, and I don’t want to lose her trust,” Thomas replied sincerely. “I’m sorry, but that’ll be it for questions. Thank you.” And he hurried off the designated stage area.
“See that?” Talon gestured to Thomas while looking at Silver. “He was stumbling at first, but now, he handles the hecklers like a pro.”
“I will concede that your… methods have yielded results,” Silver allowed through a clenched jaw. She and the wren shared a look acknowledging that if the bat mare struck the griffon, the latter would win, and it pissed off the former. Then she faced Thomas. “However, it will be a different matter when strangers are the ones disparaging you and making obscene demands.”
“I think I’m fast enough to get him out of there if things get hairy,” Moonlight boasted as she stood and walked to Thomas, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“The real issue will be if Sir Thomas makes a remark worthy of headlines,” Jet coldly stated, startling some of the servants with the reminder of her presence. “If I may.” She waited until Thomas nodded. “I understand wanting to be more active in service to the crowns. However, as a public figure acting on Her Highness’ behalf, I believe you should approach such tasks with the mindset of a surgeon. You get in and get out with minimal collateral damage. Given your situation and temperament, I believe you’d agree that not drawing attention to yourself is ideal.”
Thomas smiled flatly. “I mean, yeah.”
“Then, for what my council is worth, I’d advise against attempting to be witty or bantering with an unruly audience. Take the stage, say the words, and leave.”
“You know, I once met a guy named Buzzkill,” remarked Talon. “He was a lot more fun than you.”
Thomas’s eyes flicked between the intimidating females, feeling as though they were pressuring him to choose between them, even if Jet didn’t acknowledge Talon at all. “Well, I guess beginners shouldn’t overstep,” the human admitted while guiltily rubbing the back of his head. “Wit can come later.”
Talon huffed and slumped in her seat. “It’s your call.”
Even if he agreed with Jet’s logic, Thomas still felt he’d betrayed one of his oldest friends. So, ignoring the servants who no longer had any idea what they were meant to do, Thomas strode across the room to his target. There, he stood a second before the wren as she curiously awaited his next move. The human then planted his butt on her thigh, wiggling to get comfy as he cozied up to her side, and said, “We could go get milkshakes after.”
As the griffon’s beak called upon the land’s magic to grant itself the flexibility to shape into a smile, Talon messed Thomas’ hair, her superior forcing his head down a little. “Sometimes, you almost make it worth it,” she affectionately allowed.
Moonlight watched the exchange with an appreciation for Talon’s help. The wren’s services were more than welcome, but it was arguably her presence that did the most. She just had some kind of aura that lifted spirits, which Thomas needed more than anything. However, this understanding left the mare feeling left out. Sure, she’d be by his side every step of the way, but it didn’t feel like she was contributing as much as the others. Honey was taking Thomas to additional cooking lessons so they could coordinate their efforts in helping Luna. And while Surprise wasn’t pulling Thomas aside for anything yet, she had become more generous with her hugs. She distributed this affection equally among the harem to avoid suspicion, but they all knew these were meant for Thomas. Like Talon, the pegasus somehow exuded positive energy, and Moonlight had no doubt that a hug from the white mare would lift her mood in a flash. And Luna, well, she was Luna. She was their employer, lover, and treasured companion. Serving her gave all of them purpose. And even if this fulfillment in duty was less profound in the human than the ponies, every little bit helped.
In fact, imagining the advice that Luna would give helped Moonlight pull herself out of the dumps. The Princess would advise the guard to not imitate Thomas’ worst impulses and let herself spiral into misery. I should acknowledge what I’m already doing, she reasoned. I’m there for him when he wakes up, and he’s grown accustomed to sleeping against my strong back. That thought made Moonlight smile. I’m his rock, his primary support. What I do isn’t flashy, but it’s indispensable. Yes, that sounded like something Luna would say. However, just to be safe, Moonlight made a mental note to talk to the Princess later, possibly in their next shared dream. If her job was to support Thomas, then she needed to ensure her own foundation was sturdy. After all, as a guard, she lived to serve.
***
It was three days later, seven days since the initial diagnosis, when Thomas climbed the recently added stairs and stood before the giant ribbon blocking the library’s doors. Being built on the side of a mountain, stairs in Canterlot had come to be associated with importance. A restaurant with stairs was assumed to be more classy than its stairless neighbor, even if they had identical service. That’s why one of the library’s renovations included stairs. As for the man of the hour, he was bare-chested with nothing but his loincloth and wards to protect him from the chilly night air.
Strangers likely wouldn’t notice. However, even from her spot to the side, Moonlight could see Thomas’ nervous jitters, clear as a full moon. He really didn’t want to be up here, being looked at by so many unknown and judgmental faces. However, when Thomas glanced her way, she silently mouthed, ‘Good luck.’ It was a reminder of the small mountain of encouragement he’d gotten from everyone else a few hours ago. Moonlight could almost see that encouragement being processed into obligation in her man’s mind, which she hoped would translate into courage. Unfortunately, the others all had obligations that prevented them from showing up to offer their support. The only other familiar face was Jet, and it would be rude for Moonlight to openly question how useful her presence was.
As for Thomas, he didn’t realize it, but Moonlight had hit the nail on the head. After all the work they’d put into this, everyone was counting on him to do his best. Oh, sure, they’d be all nice and supportive if he screwed up, but the thought still mortified the young man. He was doing this as an extension of his duties to relieve Luna’s stress and burdens. However, if he were being honest, he was mostly doing this for himself to prove that he was more than just a dildo with a pulse. It was a stupid idea, but it had been haunting him for too long, and it was about time he did something about it. Men acted, after all. That and similar mantras ran haphazardly through his head as his eyes tried focusing on lampposts and other objects that let him pretend to look at the audience without actually doing so.
The crowd wasn’t too big, maybe a hundred ponies, give or take. There were a couple of griffons and a donkey there, which was neat. Although the clear majority were unicorns. Most weren’t wearing any fancy or elaborate clothes, however. In fact, most attendees were either naked or wore what looked like work vests and aprons. Were they working-class ponies stopping by between shifts? That seemed logical, as did the reasoning that the crowd would have been a lot bigger if Luna had been attending. When Thomas first ascended the stairs, he’d heard several murmurs of ponies expressing disappointment, followed by the crowd shrinking by almost half. Of course, that was fine and perfectly within expectations. However, more upsetting were the murmurs about his humanness. Namely, what was he hiding under that loincloth? Thomas had heard it all before, but mostly from passers in the halls and seldom in groups of more than ten at a time. Maybe crowds of pedestrians were worse for general anxiety, but there was typically enough noise to overshadow most gossip, and the majority of pedestrians were too busy to even look at his short ass.
Here, Thomas had taken center stage so everyone could look straight at him, appraise every hair out of place, and question his credibility. Standing across from him was a mocha earth mare with a short green mane, reading glasses, a white business-casual shirt, and two books for a cutie mark partially hidden by her miniskirt. Her nametag read Page Finder, which compelled Thomas’ overactive imagination to wonder if she dove straight into books in her cutie mark-hunting years, or if she tried other things, just in case.
“Hello, everypony,” Page unenthusiastically announced, sounding like she missed her morning coffee. “Thank you so very much for coming by at this”—she paused to glance at the starry sky—“unusual hour to commemorate this special occasion. After waiting for what has felt like ages, Potter’s District Library has finally received its long overdue renovations. The stairs are a nice bonus, but I’m also happy to inform you that the plumbing is finally fixed, so you can poop and acquire life-changing knowledge in the same place. However, we’d prefer if you separated these activities by at least a few meters.” Several in the audience laughed at her dry joke. “With that said, allow me to introduce the celebrity, chosen by a board of bureaucrats over any tenured professionals, to ordain this exciting event.” And she held out her arm. “Sir Thomas, Senior Concubine of Princess Luna’s Harem.”
The applause was mild, but louder than expected.
“Thank you, Ms. Page.” Shit! Is it Page, Finder, or both? Thomas thought without breaking his smile. “I’m glad to be here, and I’m sorry that my favorite Princess could not make this appointment.”
“It’s alright,” Page dully replied. “It’s only the whole reason this event was scheduled at an hour when most ponies are too tired to read, anyway. We’re not disappointed.”
Jesus, bitch. I get it, but don’t act like this is my fault. “Well, it’s still an honor to be here.” Wait, isn’t it? I’m the one who asked to do this kind of thing, so does that mean I disappointed everyone? Thomas wondered. “Uh, well, I know Princess Luna would be here if she could. She’s in such high demand lately, but she entrusted me with this task to… to help the”—he glanced at the nearest griffon in the crowd—“citizens of Potter’s District retain the gift of knowledge. Your library has not only brought so much joy to everyone in the area, but I’m willing to bet you’ve also helped a student or two successfully pull off some last-minute cram sessions.” That earned a few nods and chuckles.
“Most certainly, Sir Thomas,” Page robotically agreed and nodded to the butler standing behind the short foreigner to hand him the oversized scissors. “Again, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to privilege us with your presence. So, without further ado…” She gestured while trailing off.
“I hereby announce the Potter’s District Library”—Thomas paused for dramatic effect as he hefted the surprisingly light scissors into position—“open!” Camera flashes were nearly blinding as the cut made a satisfying snip and the vivisected ribbon fluttered to the ground. More flashes followed as the crowd applauded politely. Thomas nodded back and returned the scissors as he made eye contact with Moonlight. Well, that wasn’t a dumpster fire.
Then a pony in a fedora with a notepad and pencil pushed ahead in the crowd. “Excuse me, Sir Thomas. Presenting Parker of the Nightly Bugle,” the reporter introduced. His cutie mark was a notepad and camera, but he also had a spider tattoo on his shoulder.
No fucking way! Thomas thought in alarm, eyes bulging.
“Is there a reason for you substituting for the Princess?”
“As I said, the Princess is in high demand these days,” Thomas replied with a forced grin.
“Don’t you mean nights?” corrected a different reporter.
Sure thing, asshole, Thomas thought while keeping his focus on… the spider imagery on the guy named Parker. “It breaks Princess Luna’s heart that she cannot make every appointment. All Equestrians are dear to her, and I know she frets about letting you down. However, I was entrusted to speak on her behalf, and again, it is my great honor to do my part for the nation and mare that took me in.”
“So, what you’re saying is, you’re acting as a representative of all immigrants?” asked the second reporter.
“No further questions!” Moonlight firmly stated as she jumped between Thomas and the reporter before he’d even had a chance to open his mouth. She nodded to the man and gently motioned him off stage where a carriage was waiting, shuttling him inside as more lights flashed and louder questions were thrown at the overly glorified prostitute. Then the doors shut, muffling most noise as the mare and man made themselves comfortable, with the latter exhaustedly exhaling as the carriage began moving.
“Did someone ask what I’m hiding down here?”
“Hmm?” Moonlight replied.
Gesturing at his loincloth, Thomas clarified, “It sounded like someone asked what I was hiding down here.”
Moonlight blinked in confusion. “You’ve gone out naked before. Wouldn’t there be pictures to reference?”
“Maybe, but I seriously hope not. In my old wor-town, naked photos floating around is the kind of thing that kills careers.”
Moonlight smiled. “Well, here, it seems like photos of your genitals would be standard for a whorse’s resume.” Her sincerity forced Thomas to stare intently.
“Is that seriously a thing?”
“I don’t know, but it sounds like it should be,” Moonlight admitted with a shrug. “I’ve never applied to be a prostitute before.”
Thomas grinned wryly. “The location of your mouth a few hours ago would beg to differ.”
Rather than look embarrassed, Moonlight shuffled in her seat while looking mighty pleased with herself. “True, but I got that job through nepotism. It wasn’t a traditional application.”
Thomas snorted a laugh. “Well, if you ask me, it feels like the company doesn’t really know what it’s doing, almost like they’re making it up as they go and expecting the underlings and clients to just put up with their BS.”
“Oh, I don’t know. The boss seems like he’s doing his best, and he’s nice enough.”
Thomas smiled flatly at the mare. “You’re just saying that cuz the guy likes using his mouth on you.”
“Well… yes,” Moonlight replied as though it should have been obvious. “The boss may not be a veteran at running a business, but he has skills for the work, and always strives to please the client.”
“Wait, is Luna the client or the boss in this?” asked Thomas.
“Uh, technically both, I think,” Moonlight allowed. “Though I guess she’d be more like the business owner, but the manager’s the one who actually runs things.”
“I thought Attentive Eye did the schedules.”
Moonlight frowned at the man. “Stop nitpicking.”
“Is it bothering you?”
“A little.”
“Then how come Honey and Surprise’s resumes didn’t include pictures of their junk?” Thomas pedantically questioned. “Those seemed like more official applications than Silver’s, so shouldn’t they have followed industry rules?”
The corners of Moonlight’s mouth fought to not pull up into a grin. “In all fairness, they weren’t applying to join the industry. Concubines are technically prostitutes, but they follow much different standards.”
Thomas chuckled. “Yeah. When’s the last time a hooker had to give a speech over a reopening, anyway?”
“Well, if it was for a brothel, I don’t see why they wouldn’t get a representative speaker. That’s why Page Turner was there.”
Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose, annoyed by Moonlight’s sound logic. “Yeah. Um, maybe I was imagining things, but did she seem a little… grumpy to you?”
“Well, I’m pleased you’re getting better at reading our body language,” Moonlight began. “But yes. I’m willing to bet she’s not used to the new night shifts, but was asked to stand in when somepony canceled.”
“That’d be pretty ironic,” assessed Thomas. “Or, would that be hypocritical? Either way, I didn’t totally blow it, did I?’
“No, you did fine,” assured Moonlight.
“You shouldn’t have spoken to the press.”
“Whoa, shit!” Thomas jumped in his seat when he spied the black bat mare sitting across from him. As his racing pulse began leveling out, he stared at her in confused agitation and asked, “Wh-when’d you get here?”
“I’ve been here the whole time,” Jet replied plainly as her cool eyes fell judgmentally upon Moonlight, who was also settling from her startled state. “Though, I suppose allowing for relatively mild questions was tolerable.”
Moonlight straightened from her prior, partially relaxed state, trying to look professional for her fellow guard. “My concern was Sir Thomas. If he showed any signs of discomfort, or the questions crossed a line, I was prepared to jump in.”
“Which you efficiently did,” Jet acknowledged with a nod before resuming facing Thomas. “Even so, you should never let your guard down around the press. Even seemingly mild inquiries can be twisted into things far more ruinous than mere genital pictures.”
Thomas felt a growing anger, both for the mare eavesdropping on a private conversation without making herself known, and for himself for being so oblivious. Then again, if even Moonlight didn’t notice her, maybe she was using some kind of secret stealthy guard technique or some skill related to her cutie mark. Pushing these unhealthy feelings down, he instead opted for a distraction. “That one guy with the spider tattoo. His name was Parker, right?”
“I think so,” Moonlight gently agreed.
“What about him?” Jet curtly questioned.
Thomas exhaled. “Okay, this is gonna sound stupid, but have there been any reports about… spider-related activities?” The mares looked confused, and he didn’t blame them. This was gonna be a helluva weird tangent. “Like, someone jumping around like a spider, maybe using webs, stringing up crooks and leaving them for cops to find. Things like that?” When the mares exchanged puzzled looks, Thomas interpreted, “Yeah, I guess that was a bit of a stretch, huh?”
“That was more than a stretch?” questioned Moonlight. “Why the sudden interest in… giant spiders?”
“Because there’s a famous comic book character named Spider Man. He does everything a spider can”—Thomas hated himself a little for that one—“and his secret identity is Peter Parker, who works as a photographer for the Daily Bugle.”
Again, the mares exchanged looks.
“There’s just a lot of really weird parallels between ponies and humans,” Thomas elaborated. “Like Manhattan and Manehattan both having giant green statues of a lady holding a book and a torch. I’m probably just overthinking things for this one. Forget I asked.”
Not a chance, Jet thought before answering, “Understood.” She’d read Firestorm’s observations on the obscene number of similarities between the two worlds, and agreed there came a point when coincidence made for an unsatisfactory explanation. Though, since her boss had likely been listening the whole time, there was a strong chance he’d already arranged for somepony to tail Presenting Parker for any suspicious behavior. “Though, I’m a little curious. A spider doesn’t seem like a terribly impressive basis for powers, and how would a human—I presume he’s human—gain such powers, anyway?”
“Spiders actually sound like a good source of power,” countered Moonlight. “I remember reading how proportionally strong they are compared to ponies. If he can jump and shoot webs, that would also make him effective in combat.”
“Also, he’s got a spider-sense,” Thomas elaborated. “It’s like an instinct for whenever he’s about to be attacked, so it’s hard for most people to catch him off guard.”
“And how could a human acquire such abilities?” Jet repeated. “I thought humans didn’t have magic.”
“No, but our fiction has magic science. In this case, the spider was either engineered or accidentally mutated to have superpowers, and it bit the guy.”
“Is that how humans believe power is acquired?” Jet asked.
“That’s how it works in comics. Literally, whatever random idea you can come up with has probably been used in a comic. That’s why it’s called magic science. It’s something that sounds sciency but it’s not explained, or it’s described using somewhat real science stuff but the writer just goes nuts with to do whatever they want.”
“Like your description of Merlin and Mim,” Jet reasoned. “Your species’ lack of actual reference material has left you free to be as creative as you like without fear of being called out for inaccuracy.”
“Well, it still has to be internally consistent,” Thomas amended. “If you think I was being nitpicky before, that’s nothing compared to comic fans.” Then the human trailed off a second, took an interest in his toes, and looked back up. “Thanks.”
“For what?” Jet asked.
“For helping me take my mind off things. That speech was not fun at all, and I was kinda freaking out, thinking how low-key it was compared to other stuff I might have to do. So, thanks for the distraction.”
Jet blinked. “You are welcome.”
“And same to you.” Facing Moonlight, Thomas scooted over the seats until he closed the distance and sat up to kiss the mare’s cheek. “I don’t care if you only got the job through nepotism. I’ve found your performance to be most adequate,” he said as poshly as possible, trying to not grin as Moonlight narrowed her eyes at him.
“You’re paying for that later,” she vowed.
“Indubitably,” Thomas agreed, channeling his best Ed Wynn.
“Oh, shut up, you.” Grinning, Moonlight lightly pushed Thomas to the cushioned seats. Then, as the man fell and lifted his legs, she briefly lit her horn to check the wards on his feet. All was well.
Thomas just laughed. He spotted the glow and guessed what Moonlight had done, but pretended to not notice. The mood was good following a successful public speaking event, and he didn’t want to spoil things with petty complaints.
“Didn’t think I’d be back in here so soon,” Thomas remarked as he took his seat on the chair within the transparent glass walls of the chamber tube. He was back in the castle’s magical scanner, which seemed mostly the same as last time. There were fewer fleshy bits and some more computer tubes along the machine’s outer bulk, but the overall contraption remained unchanged.
“Well, your ideas were rather intriguing,” Dr. Feelgood said from the control station, not looking at Thomas as he and his assistants fiddled with the levers, buttons, and a thing that bore an uncanny resemblance to a flesh light. “I can’t believe we overlooked the food element. Common sense would dictate that, after spending so much time absorbing Equestrian nutrients, a sizeable percentage of your mass should be comprised of native elements through sheer osmosis, yet the magic void remains. Quite fascinating.”
Thomas realized he’d been anxiously tapping his foot and stopped. However, that just gave way to different fidgeting. He jumped a little from a noise up above as a large rod seemingly extended from nowhere, only to bend downward and project a long yellow light at him. Then the arm began rotating around the tube, which Thomas tried to track with his eyes.
“Try not to move, please,” Feelgood requested, still staring at the machine’s readings.
Thomas went as still as if he were in a barber’s chair. Ignoring the machine’s moving and glowing parts, he instead chose to focus on his mares. Moonlight was here, of course, but Silver and Honey also made it this time, all sitting along the wall opposite the machine. The trio gave their best supportive smiles, but Thomas’ inner skeptic told him they were just putting on a show, possibly as much for themselves as him. So, he returned the favor, grinning as though the freaky machine wasn’t freaking him out. Jet was assigned elsewhere tonight, but no one knew she didn’t need to be present to watch. Then the whole tube flashed with white light like someone had taken a picture.
“Nothing to worry about,” Feelgood assured with eyes on binocular-like viewers as he adjusted some dials. “We just added an amplified magical shield before the draining. One more adjustment, aaand… done! The tube is now a magical void, the only exception being deliberate spells, such as the wards,” he proudly explained, not noticing the many relieved exhales. “How do you feel?”
Thomas internally remarked how apparently easy it was to create a void. He looked around, rolled his shoulders, and tried concentrating on sensations in his skin, searching for any changes. “Uh, I don’t really notice a difference,” he finally admitted.
“Noted,” Feelgood remarked as he jotted something in his notes.
“What is the point of this exercise?” Silver asked.
“Why, for testing, of course,” Feelgood replied as though it were obvious. However, upon noticing the orange unicorn’s venomous glare, he elaborated. “Nothing extreme, of course. I’ve got a list of approved low to mid-tier spells to try out.” He indicated the papers on a clipboard propped up on one of the machine’s panels. “These would be things a moderately talented unicorn might normally cast in bed, such as penis enlargement.”
Thomas turned his head slowly and deliberately to face the doctor. “Altering size is low-tier?”
“Lower mid, actually. The quantity of mass being altered is a factor in determining the spell’s complexity, so giving yourself an inch or two is safely on the low end. By contrast, augmenting your anatomy with something new, like functioning teats on a male, would be closer to the high end of mid-tier, which we’re currently avoiding.”
Thomas nodded. “I’m good with not having boobs.”
“Darn. Ah was kinda curious,” commented Honey while lightly kicking at the floor.
“You have a very sick mind, Apple Honey,” Thomas deadpanned, making her chuckle.
“Thomas, if you could hold up your left arm level with your shoulder and hold your palm out flat. Yes, that’s good,” Feelgood began as he nodded at one of his assistants. The blue unicorn nodded back and stuck her horn into a slot, pointing diagonally down, so she didn’t have to bend too much. “I’d like to start with #3, which will grow your fingernails. Are you ready?”
“I guess so,” Thomas allowed.
“Then begin.”
The blue unicorn’s horn glowed within the slot as a distinct bolt of magic shot through the machine, zigzagging in right angles along the panels as it headed for the part connecting the scanner’s bulk to the tube’s upper portion. The light above flickered. Thomas looked up, curious, only for his attention to be drawn to an odd tingling on the designated fingers. Sure enough, his fingernails were growing. It was like a Hollywood depiction of aging, or maybe a documentary showing an accelerated time-lapse would be more accurate, since nothing else was affected. Thomas had always had a nasty habit of biting his nails, so they had very little white to start with. However, it only took a few seconds for his nails to appear fully restored to what most would consider a healthy length, and then they kept going.
“How are you feeling?” Feelgood asked. “Any pain or tingling outside your fingertips?”
“Uh, no,” Thomas informed, looking himself over for any other oddities before returning his attention to his nails. “Huh, I’m almost like Lady Deathstrike. Another minute and I’ll be Edward Scissorhands,” he muttered while tapping his nails together.
“Pardon?” Feelgood inquired.
“Nothing. Human reference.”
“I see,” Feelgood allowed, sounding dissatisfied as he examined a screen with several colored lines seemingly randomly waving. “Well, let’s try #4, then. Glow, if you would.”
The blue unicorn named Glow carefully nodded to avoid breaking the horn still in the slot before reigniting it. The same zigzagging light went from the slot to the scanner, and the human watched his nails retract to their previous bitten state.
“It’s kind of freaky how mundane that was,” Thomas commented.
“So, is this it? You’re just going to apply some simple, low-tier spells and see what happens?”
“More or less,” Feelgood confirmed. “We’re keeping an eye out for unusual readings, of course, but I don’t anticipate any groundbreaking discoveries from these exercises.”
Fucking jinx! Thomas screamed in his head. Wait, are jinxes actually a thing in a world of magic? Does drawing attention to the jinx make it more likely to happen? No one else seemed to react, so Thomas told himself that it was silly to apply human superstitions to something the locals clearly understood with scientific reasoning. No need to get worked up over nothing, he told himself, deciding it was best to just keep quiet, like usual.
And so, the experiments continued. Feelgood would call out a random number, a thing happened, and then the thing would be undone by the following number in the sequence. Eventually, Thomas asked for a mirror so he could see what was making the mares snicker. The first time was from pink dots covering his skin that almost looked like zits. However, it took a mirror for Thomas to realize that several dot clusters formed constellations. When accused, Glow insisted she’d intended the dots to be random, and what the others thought they saw was just coincidence. However, there was very clearly an archer on his left breast hunting a bull on the right one, and equally elaborate designs on his back and butt.
“It’s kind of scarier that this is all just an accident,” Thomas remarked as he stared at the winking smiley face on his right sole. “Though, I’m kind of more upset that everything’s asymmetrical. It offends my OCD,” he added to the mares’ amusement. “Can we do the next thing now?”
Feelgood seemed to alternate between experiments of different complexity. One involved making Thomas’ pinkie toes as large as his big toes, and then having him walk around within the tube. It felt a little weird, and running might be difficult, but he managed. The following experiment went back to messing with his skin, giving him stripes that actively moved along his flesh like someone was shining lights on him. Another altered his body hair to more closely resemble a pony’s thin and fine fur, but it was all patchy and made him look somewhat sickly, so Feelgood asked Glow to expand the coat for a more even covering.
“And now I’m gray,” Thomas commented as he ran his hands over his differently fuzzy arms. It was almost like feeling his head hair after getting a buzz from a barber.
“I think it looks lovely on you,” Silver commented. “It may not be as cute as your hairless state, but I would say it appears quite regal.”
“Ah agree,” Honey added. “The color really brings out yer resting bitch face.”
Thomas stared intently at the mirror. “Shit, it does,” he grumbled in admittance, making the others chuckle.
“And none of this is affecting his wards?” Moonlight protectively asked.
“Barely a flicker,” Feelgood confirmed, sounding disappointed. “Everything appears within projected limits, and the shield… heh. The shield’s readings are all flat, like it’s bored of having nothing to do.”
“A bored guard is a distracted guard,” chided Moonlight.
“Well, this one’s still doing its job,” Feelgood assured. “There’s an increase in magical buildup along the chamber’s outer surface, but it’s within our projections. Nothing to worry about.” He adjusted another nob. “Alright, let’s try #69.”
“Is this gonna be a sex thing?” Thomas warily asked.
“Not necessarily. We’re just gonna make your penis bigger.”
Thomas blinked, flabbergasted that Feelgood could say such a thing with a straight face. “How is that not sexual?”
“Well, you’re not currently having sex,” Feelgood replied, shrugging as though it were obvious.
Thomas was eventually pulled from his silent outrage by a tingle between his thighs. Spreading his legs apart for a better look, he watched his flaccid dangler swell like someone was pumping a balloon. Realizing he was facing his mares, the human’s lingering shyness compelled him to clamp his knees shut, confusing Feelgood while the concubines gave varying degrees of wry grins. However, the swelling continued, and Thomas’ knees were pried apart. At least it wasn’t the type of tingle to trigger an erection. That was the last thing he needed, especially as the dangling, ever-growing tip inched its way to the floor.
Please don’t ask me to stand, Thomas prayed as his package grew to exceed what he considered a stallion’s average size. It would make sense if the doctor did ask, though, but the human still felt uneasy at feeling what it would be like to have such girth squeezed between his thighs as he walked. He already had enough issues dealing with size envy, and a clearer picture of how the other half lived would likely not help.
Then the machine’s steady purring made an unfamiliar hiccup, and Feelgood hurriedly switched stations.
“What was that?” Moonlight asked.
“Nothing to worry about,” Feelgood assured without looking up as he fiddled with the buttons, turned the nobs, and pulled some exposed wires loose. “Just a small spike in ambient magical buildup on the shield. It’s still within projections, though.”
“Is the ambient magic taking issue with my dick?” Thomas questioned.
“We haven’t ruled that out yet,” Feelgood replied, pulling wires with increasing urgency.
Thomas didn’t know why pulling wires was a feature, but he was sure it wasn’t a good sign. Also, did the doctor seriously just imply the ambient magic—the magic of the world as abundant as air that may have some kind of consciousness—had a unique interest in his dick compared to everything else they’d done? What is even the fuck!?
“Doctor, could you look at this?” requested light-green pegasus, indicating a different screen that looked like someone was scribbling in a rage.
Feelgood stared intently at the readings. “Glow, #70, but slowly. Let’s not rock the boat.”
Glow obliged, sending the zigzagging light to reverse the spell.
As expected, Thomas felt his still-swelling package suddenly pause, only to reverse course. While he hoped it wouldn’t shrink beyond its original size, another concern seemed more pressing. “Uh, just how big were you planning to make me?”
“What?”
“Yeah, I mean, the toe thing stopped after a few seconds, but my dick and nuts just kept growing. Was that intentional?”
All eyes fell on Glow, who shook her head.
“… Uh, what does that mean?” Thomas questioned, his worry spiking as the machine gave another hiccup sound. “What does that mean!?”
“Glow, faster!” Feelgood urgently instructed.
“What’s going on?” Moonlight demanded as she stood, the others not far behind.
“Sir Thomas, I’m gonna need you to talk to me,” Feelgood requested. “How are you feeling? Any pain or tingling?”
“Uh, kinda,” Thomas confirmed as he looked down beyond his shrinking penis, which was more upsetting than it probably should have been. “It feels like my foot just fell asleep,” he said while flexing the right appendage’s toes. “It’s not painful, but it’s not comfortable either.” He hadn’t crossed his legs or sat funny since getting in the chair, so this development was also upsetting, but to an arguably more justified degree.
*Erhem!*
“D-did the scanner jus’ cough?” Honey questioned.
“Uh, I wouldn’t exactly say it was a cough,” Feelgood distractedly countered as he and the other physicians all climbed to their feet to urgently adjust as many controls as possible. “I-it, uh, w-was more like, um, somepony clearing their throat to garner attention,” he explained with a nervous laugh. Nothing about that analogy was even remotely reassuring.
“Okay, uh, my dick’s back to normal, but now my thighs are falling asleep!” Thomas warned as the prickly feeling spread. “Agh!” He winced and grabbed his right wrist from the brief but searing pain. For a second, he could have sworn he saw a vein pulse from his middle knuckle to his wrist. Then came another surge of pain in his other wrist, followed by patches of prickliness sprouting all over his body. “Gah, shit!”
“Stop it!” Moonlight demanded. “Stop it right now!”
“That’s what we’ve been trying to do!” Feelgood admitted. “Stars above, what’s the shield look like?”
“Holding,” said the green pegasus. “But the ambient magic has exceeded projections by…”
“What? By what?”
“Uh, f-four hundred percent,” the pegasus finally admitted.
“Where’s the plug on this damn thing!?” Honey demanded as she looked around, but saw no such thing. “Better yet”—she grabbed a chair and held it like a bludgeon—“Ah’ll take care of it, mahself!”
As Silver held the taller mare back, the doctors began yelling jargon at one another. Thomas only caught every third word, but it didn’t sound good. The pain had lessened into general discomfort, but the prickliness was everywhere now. Suddenly, his pinkie toes grew back to their big toe size, only to double and shrink back in the blink of an eye. Then, like the prickliness, the effects seemed to spread, climbing up his legs. Random patches of skin spontaneously swelled like tumors, only to rapidly constrict to the point they broke the skin.
That’s when Thomas’ mind went fuzzy, like he was having an out-of-body experience. Everything seemed distant and muffled as though through a filter. He was aware of the pain, but it didn’t hurt. He was aware of everyone screaming as the machine cried out in stress and tubes started bursting, but he no longer felt worried. The person in the chair was breathing, but otherwise unresponsive. Everything was just happening, and his only concern was that he wasn’t more concerned about what was clearly an undesirable situation. Although, the faceless person standing beside his mares didn’t appear too concerned as it waved what may have been a hand at him. Finally, every bulb on the machine lit to full brightness, only to all burst at once, rendering the room in darkness.
When Thomas came to, he was lying on the floor, and everything was still muffled and fuzzy. Eventually, he saw moving lights in the dark as voices came into focus. Thomas’ whole body ached, like he’d just finished ten foursomes with his largest lovers, but far less satisfying. He’d never been much of a drinker, but he’d heard hangovers described like knives stabbing through the brain, and that wasn’t too far off from his current sensations. Then everything lit up with hexagonal ripples of blue light that illuminated fists and Moonlight’s distressed face.
“… shield is on… power,” said a muffled voice that the human could only barely make out. “… restart… so it…”
Thomas’ eyes eventually parsed out that the glowing lights floating around were unicorn horns, and Moonlight was standing just outside his tube. Honey and Silver were nearby, looking just as worried as their eyes rapidly searched the area. Could they not see him? Thomas tried waving to get their attention, but his arm felt 30 lbs. heavier, and his bones felt like jelly.
Then the overhead lights finally returned, hurting everyone’s eyes with their brightness, but Thomas was spared the worst of it by some shade. Squinting, Moonlight once again touched the shield, but the hexagonal ripples continued barring her access, much to her frustration.
“I told you, the shield has its own separate power source for precisely this scenario,” Feelgood argued as he and the other physicians worked on the machine that was smoking from its broken parts.
As Thomas’ senses returned and his mind grew less cloudy, he reasoned that whatever had happened must have thrown him for one hell of a loop. His body felt flat as paper against the floor, and the physicians looked like they were miles away and taller. His eyes tiredly veered to the side where Moonlight was. He saw her hooves, which was expected, but they didn’t look right. Was he staring at orange, hoof-shaped boulders? Why did that make so much sense in his head?
“Okay, we’re back!” Feelgood tentatively cheered as the machine resumed a softer version of its steady purr. “Now, let’s check on—”
“Where is he!?” Moonlight demanded, blinking as her eyes finally adjusted to the light and frantically swiveled. “Where’d he go?”
Thomas looked up, craning his head further than should have been necessary to see Moonlight in growing panic as she looked around. Then he saw Feelgood snap to face the tube, go bug-eyed, and then quickly snap his attention between the screens and Thomas’ general direction.
“Uh… he’s there?” Feelgood informed uncertainly.
“What? Where?”
“I’m picking up a pulse, neural energy, and… yup, his wards are all intact. He’s still in the chamber,” Feelgood confirmed.
“What? Ah don’t see ‘im. Is he invisible?” questioned Honey.
“H-here,” Thomas weakly called, his throat dry and needing water. He tried waving again, and while his arm felt lighter than a few seconds ago, it was still absurdly heavy. “I-I’m right h-here!” He could barely hear his own voice over the clamor of the machine and everyone talking. The physicians were calling out jargon, but they sounded calmer than before. It seemed like they were confirming the readings that something was in the chamber. Yeah, no shit, Thomas thought as everyone continued searching for him. Whatever happened to low-tier and simple?
“Spectral analysis detects no light anomalies,” called the green pegasus. “Subject is not invisible.”
“Wait, I just picked up movement,” informed Glow. “It was small, somewhere just below the chair.”
Moonlight crouched low, using a hand on the floor for balance, as she searched the chamber’s floor. Finally, her search ended as she locked eyes with Thomas. However, while he smiled in what he hoped was reassurance, the orange mare paled. Apparently, ponies could do that through their fur.
“T-Thomas?”
“H-hey,” he weakly replied as his other lovers crouched to join Moonlight. Silver was more ladylike as she got on her knees while the others spread their legs with utter indifference, but all were just as shocked and in disbelief.
“Faust on a stick!” Honey swore. “Y-ya alright, li’l guy?”
“I-I could”—Thomas coughed—“u-use some water.”
“Can we get him something?” Silver asked the physicians. “Maybe… what do you call a syringe without the needle? They use them to feed small animals.”
“Wh-what?” wondered Thomas, it still not clicking as he stared up at the towering mares. He must have been getting better, because he was lucid enough to ponder how not awkward it was for him to stare between these ladies’ spread legs. The prickliness had faded, replaced by only a mild tingle, but it was still uncomfortable enough to render the situation utterly void of any arousal. That’s what his mildly lucid mind focused on as the most pressing issue, anyway.
“Hold on. We’re adjusting the magic within the chamber,” Feelgood informed as the machine’s purr slowly quieted. “Aaand… there!”
The wall of hexagonal ripples went up in a flash before breaking down before everyone’s eyes, crumbling into flecks of light.
Moonlight reflexively lunged with arms outstretched, but stopped just shy of actually grabbing Thomas. Her hesitation was understandable to most.
However, Thomas was curious about something. “Wh-why are your fingers so big?” he asked, clearing his throat as moisture slowly returned to his mouth and seeped down his throat. The human reached out, his arm nearly at its proper weight, and pushed one of the mare’s fingers. It gave a little under Thomas’ strength, but the fingertip was wider than his whole palm. The human felt his mind teetering on the edge of an idea. Slowly but surely, connections were finally forming, and shapes were just shy of being recognizable. Moonlight’s finger… was roughly as long as he was tall, her hand and arm all looked proportional, the walls and ceiling were all much farther away, and he realized there was a thing under his elbow. Extracting and holding it to his face for inspection, Thomas instantly recognized it as a hair. It was long and bent like his leg hairs, had a little white bulb for a root, yet was slightly shorter than his arm and roughly had the diameter of a drinking straw…
“I, uh, believe you can pick him up if you like,” Feelgood tepidly allowed as he weighed his odds of reaching the door before the mares got him. Ultimately, he concluded it was probably safer not to provoke them with sudden movements, so he’d best just stick around and remain professional.
Everything was tense, and even the relief from finally finding Thomas did little to help the mood. Feelgood’s assistants kept focused on their work, checking the machine and the readings still coming in. It went without saying that this phenomenon was unprecedented, and definitely not on the list of approved spells. Nevertheless, the professionals did their best to keep cool heads and do their jobs. If another unprecedented phenomenon were to occur, they didn’t want to be caught with their nonexistent pants down a second time.
Meanwhile, as she anxiously licked her lips, Moonlight resumed reaching for Thomas, only to stop again as her fingers formed a broad cage around his puny body. On the surface, he looked fine, with no obvious injuries. Even the way he struggled to lift himself up seemed almost reassuringly normal, not dissimilar from how he usually looked after an intense bucking. However, the comparison with her relatively oversized hands was impossible to ignore. So, after much thought, Moonlight lowered her right hand to the floor, flat and palm up.
Thomas’ headache had abated, but he still felt dizzy. He stared intently at the offered hand, understanding it was taking far too long to process what was being suggested. Then, finally, it clicked in his head, and the young man pulled himself the short distance to the hand. It was less than an arm’s length for him, and the height wasn’t much worse than the rungs of a ladder, but it was manageable. Moonlight’s skin felt different than usual, coarser and with the little details far more pronounced. Thomas had probably spent too long staring at the lines that made up the mare’s palm print because he then felt something touch his feet. The other giant orange hand gently pushed his legs, coaxing him onto the offered palm. So, after finally finding the strength, the human lifted himself onto the pony’s hand, and collapsed onto his back after the herculean effort.
Moonlight stood as slowly as possible, imagining she was holding a dandelion and avoiding creating a gust that might dislodge the seeds. She held the shrunken, exhausted human tenderly, only tearing her eyes from his diminished form when she felt the other mars press in around her. She wanted to tell them to back off and give Thomas some space, but the concern in their eyes made her hesitate. If one of them had told her to get back while holding him, she probably wouldn’t listen. They were just as worried as she was, after all, so she let them be, and returned to staring at Thomas.
“I-I…” Thomas tried to say, his voice dry and raspy.
“Where are we on that water?” Silver inquired, her volume soft, but tone firm.
“I… I c-can…”
“Easy,” Moonlight whispered, mindful of the young man’s every stir in her hand. He was roughly as tall as her middle finger was long, but everything appeared proportional. “Take your time. What is it?”
“I… I c-can see u-up”—Thomas coughed—“up your nose,” he finished with a grin. This was followed by a brief pause and a collective sigh from the three mares that felt like stepping out from a room with the air turned too high into the scorching summer heat. Also, it stank.
“Well, that is a good sign, yes?” Silver asked a physician who finally handed her the feeder filled with water. “Thank you.” She positioned the device just over Thomas’ face and cautiously pushed the plunger until a drop fell.
Thomas accepted the refreshing liquid gratefully as it washed over his face. He even turned his head to slurp the amount that had pooled around his head. Then he faced up again and opened his mouth, wordlessly requesting more, so Silver obliged.
“Yer well enough ta joke, but how ya doin’, li’l guy?” Honey asked, also maintaining the whisper that everyone had decided was necessary for the human’s small ears.
Thomas finished sipping the residue from the third drop before answering. “… Like I just got sat on.”
“I could have sworn I saw lesions in your flesh, but they seem to have all healed,” Silver noted as she examined him.
“So it wasn’t just me,” noted Moonlight. “Thomas, is it okay if I turn you over? I need to see your back.”
“I… sure?” the human allowed as a giant finger pushed under his side and gently rolled him over. Face down in the orange hand, its coarse warmth pressing against his front, Thomas felt his strength continue returning as the fuzz lifted from his mind. Then, feeling bold, he moved his hands beneath his torso and, after pausing to brace himself, pushed into a poor pushup position. Although, with how his back was arched, it probably more closely resembled a climax. “Whoa.”
“What is it?” Moonlight asked, still keeping her volume low, despite her sudden sense of urgency.
“I-I think I just popped my back,” Thomas replied, curious why he’d reported something so mundane. “Not in a bad way. But, like, I was super stiff, so I stretched.”
“Uh, can ya do it again?” Honey suggested, uncertain of what else to do.
Thomas quickly nodded and pulled his legs beneath his body before carefully pushing himself up. His outstretched arms waved a little as he rose, now mindful of Moonlight’s unsteady hands. “Like I’m getting my sea legs,” he muttered.
“What?” Moonlight asked.
“He said he was getting his sea legs,” Silver informed, her bat-like ears flicking as though showing off.
“How is the patient doing?” Feelgood asked from his station. “Any injuries?”
“No, and he doesn’t seem in pain, either,” Moonlight reported, facing away to raise her volume while keeping an eye on the little creature wobbling across her cupped palm. “It looked like he was bleeding earlier, but I don’t see any wounds now. Either the injuries healed, or it was a trick of the light.”
“I’m leaning towards the former,” Feelgood said before whacking a static screen into compliance. “There was definitely exposed blood for a little bit. However, aside from the one thing, our patient appears unharmed.”
Honey turned slowly and deliberately to face the doctor. “Ya call this unharmed?” she demanded while gesturing at Thomas.
“Relatively speaking, yes,” Feelgood affirmed. “We’re still not sure why it happened. However, the targeted size alteration magic somehow mutated into a total transformation. And considering this was on the low end of a high-tier spell, I’d say we just witnessed the magical equivalent of slipping on a banana peel, only to do a perfect backflip and land upright. The spell wasn’t intended, but it somehow worked out. So, all things considered, it could have been worse.”
“Well, if it’s a spell, can’t ya jus’ undo it like the rest?” Honey asked.
One of the scanner’s panels began sparking as the sound of something building up underneath caught everyone’s attention. Feelgood rushed to the panel, tore it off, and sprayed something from his horn resembling a fire extinguisher’s contents. Then, as the spot sizzled into calm, Feelgood faced the mares. “I am not comfortable casting any additional spells on Thomas at this time.”
“But it appears to be a perfect casting,” asserted Silver. “Even if it was unintentional, why can you not simply reverse it as you did with the others?”
“First of all, even on the low end, there’s no such thing as simple when it comes to high-tier magic,” Feelgood replied as he went into lecture mode. “And with size alteration, targeted exterior changes are nothing compared to full-body casting.”
“He’s right,” Moonlight confirmed, locking eyes with Thomas as he listened intently. “The spell matrix has to account for altered blood flow to maintain the body’s regular functions, despite the altered size. Smaller animals have faster heartbeats than bigger ones, and failing to account for that would…” Her mouth snapped closed, her meaning clear. “And then there’s the mass of brain cells to consider, and…” Eyes wide, Moonlight’s head whirled to face the physicians. “Are you sure it was a perfect casting?”
Feelgood checked the screens once more before facing the mares and small man, his face stern. “Based on initial readings, yes. However, going back to the banana peel analogy, I cannot stress enough how unlikely this was. Right now, there’s still a lot of data we need to sift through before I’m willing to prescribe any kind of cure.”
“Um, excuse me,” Thomas said as loudly as he felt comfortable while waving to get everyone’s attention. It worked, but that didn’t make him feel better. “So, about the brain cell thing… Is it, like, taking away mass takes away cells, or what?”
“The brain is definitely the riskiest part of the shrinking process,” Feelgood confirmed. “And while altering the cell count is how it works for the rest of the body, safeties are generally added to protect the subject’s mind. And, since it looks like a perfect casting, those safeties appear to be in place. So, while I imagine you’re still feeling a little lightheaded, there should be no memory loss, cognitive diminishment, or any other long-term side effects.”
Thomas released a relieved breath, followed by feeling another wave of smelly heat from the mares’ exhales. “Good. My memory sucks enough as it is.”
“However, if you notice anything unusual, I ask that you speak up immediately,” Feelgood stressed.
Thomas nodded. “So, what now?”
It took a while for Feelgood to run that by his assistants as they debated facts and figures with words upwards of seven syllables. Eventually, they decided it would be best for Thomas to return with the mares to a less stressful environment. Despite its disheveled state, the scanner had managed to record everything about the process, but it would take time to go through everything at the lab. And since the lab, doctors, and Thomas’ room were all in the castle, there shouldn’t be an issue in the event of an emergency. However, while the deeper concerns still needed to be analyzed, Feelgood magically wrote out a list of relevant issues Thomas may face, along with recommendations for treatment. At the top of the list was augmenting his defensive wards to better insulate him against the cold. Smaller bodies lost more heat, and after everything that had just happened, Feelgood was fervently against alteration magic of any sort. Things like wards were cast around Thomas, but anything cast on or to him was forbidden until further notice.
So, the mares left with their man in hand.
***
Leaning back while supporting himself with his hands, Thomas sat his naked butt down in Moonlight’s palm as he looked out the window to the starry sky. They’d returned to Luna’s chambers and, as per usual, sat on the Princess’ bed, but not before sending word regarding what had happened and what they were doing about it. The latter was, in Thomas’ view, a lot of nothing, just waiting and seeing. “This sucks.”
“If Surprise was here, she’d say ta look on the bright side,” Honey offered, sitting next to Moonlight as she eyed the shrunken human. “At least ya don’t have teats.”
Thomas replied with a pity laugh, which just made him feel bad. He didn’t want to hurt Honey’s feelings while she was trying to cheer him up. So, he faced her, his eyes trailing up and down her enormous body like it was the first time all over again. “Do you know how much your boobs weigh?”
Honey blinked, not expecting that question, as she looked down. “Ah never thought ta check.”
“I used to think they collectively weighed at least as much as me, if not more,” Thomas thought aloud. “Luna’s boobs probably each weigh more than me. At least, back at my old size.”
“I still do not understand your preoccupation with breast size,” Silver added while retrieving the tray of beverages they’d ordered. “Personal preference is one thing, but even in the stories you showed us, humans seem to have an unhealthy obsession with what amounts to chest fat, especially in anime.”
Thomas snickered more sincerely. “No arguments here. I’m pretty sure there’ve been studies on that, but I’m not sure there’ve been any conclusions. Humans are the only mammals where the breasts stay swollen year-round, even when the female isn’t pregnant.” Then he stared at Moonlight’s chest fat. “Well, that’s how it is on Earth. I guess since that’s true for other species, it’s less special here. Although, I think all humans are just secret perverts.”
“Personally, I’m grateful I get to have a variety,” Moonlight chipped in as she looked between Silver and Honey, taking a quick sip of her drink before setting it back on the tray in the bat mare’s lap. “I get to play with a range of sizes all I like. Although, I think Luna is drawing me to appreciate bigness more.”
Silver sighed despondently as she stared at her relatively diminutive chesticles. “Alas, I fear I must agree. Such is the inherent tragedy of letting alicorns set the standard.”
“Well, I guess that’s one bright side,” Thomas offered. “Not counting magic;, at least my penis is bigger than hers.”
Honey snorted a laugh. “Ya sure ‘bout that, sugar?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, maybe before, but now…” The green mare gestured down at the puny man. “We’ll have ta compare, but Ah think her love button might be bigger ‘an yer love handle.”
Thomas’ neck went limp as his head dropped forward to stare between his legs. “… shit, you’re probably right.”
“‘Course, Ah am,” Honey beamed. “When will the rest ‘f ya’ll learn that life would be so much easier if ya jus’ listened ta earth ponies more often?”
“Begging your pardon, but the last time you did a handstand, your teats hit your face, and you fell over,” Silver reminded with a straight face. “I am sorry, but I fear that such antics diminish your credibility.”
“Careful what you say,” Thomas warned. “Moonlight has a horn for defense, but there’s nothing stopping Honey from using those face-smackers on someone else’s unguarded face.”
Slowly and deliberately, Honey leaned forward to look around Moonlight at the smallest mare, a dangerous look in her eyes that made Silver flinch. “Weaponized teats, eh? Now there’s an idea.”
Silver’s head snapped to level a scowl on the shrunken human. “I am reasonably certain I will owe you for this.”
Thomas snickered. “Yeah, humans are definitely secret perverts. The amount of stuff on the internet about breasts alone could probably fill every library in Equestria.”
“What do you mean?” Moonlight asked.
Thomas shrugged as he envisioned where this conversation might lead, and was reasonably sure Silver was right. She’d owe him for the lewdness he was about to unleash. “Breast fetishes,” Thomas began. “Big, small, and everything between and beyond, yeah, humans are obsessed with boobs. When I’d get off from work, one of the first things I did was look up porn. Even when watching regular stuff, more mild fetishes would often come up in more typical conversation, like pouring syrup on the body and licking it off.”
“Having such sticky fur sounds most uncomfortable,” noted Silver.
“Yeah, but it’s fun ta lick clean.”
Thomas straightened his sitting position to be less casual. “I was never much into food fetishes, but they were mainstream enough that some public broadcasting felt comfortable talking about it. As for me, personally, I was more into niche things.” Thomas swallowed as he braced for his admission. “One was size difference.”
Moonlight tilted her head, probably not meaning to look so cute. “Do humans have a way to alter size?”
“No, but we can imagine,” Thomas explained. “There’s kind of a range to it. For my usual size, pretty much all ponies are either tall girls or amazons, which are definitely my thing.” He then looked at Silver and awkwardly pursed his lips. “Is there a way I can say ‘no offense’ without you taking offense?”
Silver shrugged. “After the things we have done, I do not doubt your attraction to me. And from what you have said, I imagine your secret human perversions have left you with a rather warped interpretation of sexual relations.”
Thomas pointed at the mare who used to be as tall as him. “You are not wrong.” He then resumed addressing everyone. “Then, after tallness, there are more extreme differences, like shrinking,” he explained while gesturing to himself. “And based on what Feelgood said, it sounds like ponies are into that too,” he phrased as more of a question.
However, while it was Moonlight’s turn to be the center of attention, she hesitated, and Silver spoke first. “My parents have a unicorn whorse they enjoy. He visits every month or so and, as I understand it, casts a spell and sits in the corner while things play out.”
“Figures,” Honey scoffed. “No offense, but somehow, Ah kinda expected unicorns’d rely more on magic skill ‘an usin’ their bodies, even fer somethin’ like whorsin’.”
“No, that’s fair,” Moonlight allowed. “I did a little research when my courting Thomas was getting serious. Earth pony whorses are favored for their size and usually play a more dominating role, while pegasi are more on the submissive side, especially when it comes to letting others play with their wings. And unicorns, well, we’re type-casted as spell dispensers. Need a spell to enhance the body or perform some particular trick, but you can’t be bothered to learn the spell yourself? Call a unicorn.”
“Like shrinking?” Thomas reminded.
“Among other things,” Moonlight allowed.
“Why, though?” Honey inquired as she leaned down for a closer look at her diminished lover. “The li’l guy’s a mouse. Why is that sexy, ‘n’ what can ya even do at that size?”
“Human porn usually has the shrunken person play with the big person’s body,” Thomas frankly answered. “For example, putting the shrunken person in the lady’s vagina.”
Honey’s ears were already flicked forward, yet they somehow grew even stiffer and more attentive at Thomas’ remark. Then, mouth twisting as though contemplating her next words’ taste, she said, “Go on.”
Thomas leaned back in Moonlight’s palm and used his hands for support as he stared at the ceiling, legs crossed, and silently ruminating on the sheer absurdity of his situation. “Suddenly shrinking was weird enough, but now I’m having an IRL discussion about fetishes with sexy nudist anthro women,” he thought aloud. “This is my life.”
“You, uh, need a minute, li’l guy?” Honey asked.
“No, that was enough,” Thomas assured, but still kept his eyes on the ceiling. Meeting the mares’ eyes was too difficult right now. “Well, for one thing, suspension of disbelief is pretty standard. Human knowledge asserts that stuff like this shouldn’t be possible, but Feelgood explained how magic makes these things doable in this world. So, when writing a shrink story, we’d have to, for example, come up with excuses for why a shrunken person inserted inside someone doesn’t suffocate, or just ignore the issue and hope the story is good enough in other ways that the reader doesn’t ask questions.” He finally fixed Moonlight with a pointed look, his implications clear.
Brow furrowed in curiosity, the unicorn lit her horn and projected a spotlight on the miniature human in her possession. “Yes, a whorse casting a shrink spell for a client would add safeties, like funneling for air in cramped spaces.”
“Wait, hold on a sec.” Thomas held his hand out in halting as Moonlight maintained the scan. “Ponies know about shrinking fetishes, and prostitutes even sell it to clients, but you didn’t know about facing each other while doing it?” When Moonlight shrugged noncommittally, the human replied, “Okay, now that’s the kind of thing that’d strain suspension of disbelief. I mean, we just went over how that’s high-tier stuff, so it’s like running before you learn how to crawl.”
“Ah dunno,” Honey pondered, arms folded under her ample chest as her expression scrunched in puzzlement. “Seems more like a preference thing ta me. Most folks usually buck the traditional way, so doin’ it differently sounds jus’ as wild as unicorns stickin’ their horns where they got no business bein’.” She then looked at Moonlight. “Figuratively. Feel free ta keep puttin’ yer thing in mah marehood, ‘specially with that spell you do.”
“Spells,” Moonlight clarified, seeing no sense in elaborating on the heat and vibration she applied to her horn for such play. Looking back at Thomas, she gave a mischievous smile. “So, if all humans are as perverted as you say, does that mean your thoughts have, shall we say, wandered to places they shouldn’t?”
Thomas blinked, looked down at his shamelessly exposed groin, and realized he’d popped a boner at some point. He locked eyes with Moonlight and deadpanned, “It’s a possibility.”
“It sounds like the three ‘f ya’ll know more ‘bout this ‘an me. So, how ‘bout catchin’ up the country bumpkin’ so we’re all on the same page?” Honey suggested. “Jus’ what can ya do with a li’l guy not much taller ‘an mah finger?”
“Silver,” Thomas offered. “You wanna explain about this whorse your parents higher to cast spells?”
“I would not mind, but I do not appreciate how you phrased that. It makes things sound far dirtier than they need to be,” Silver replied with all due dignity.
Thomas nodded. “Agree to disagree.”
Silver sighed and shuffled the stiffness from her wings. “Well, I only heard the topic in passing, but did not inquire further, as it was not my business. However, my dame preferred shrinking, so she could hug my sire’s stallionhood. I believed she said his masculine musk is far more powerful at that size, and her body was more receptive to its warmth.”
Thomas nodded intently, shifting in place as he reminded himself there was no need to cover his involuntary physical response to his building dirty thoughts. “Okay, that sounds like a standard feature for some of the stories I’ve read. The small person hug’s the guy’s big dick, and maybe he uses her body to… masturbate?”
Silver also nodded, but more disinterestedly about the perceived lack of taboo. “Yes, I believe they said as much. I also believe they mentioned insertion, which I assume means exactly as it sounds,” she phrased as a question.
Thomas licked his lips. “Yeah, the tiny person rides the giant dick like a… uh, whatever ponies use instead of horses,”—he clarified while stressing the H—“and they go straight into the pussy.” He then glanced at Honey and mimed, squeezing his hand around something large. “A finger can touch things in ways the penis can’t, applying pressure and stuff. But a tiny person—at least, in the stories—can be even more direct. The little guy can wriggle around in there, and it, uh… I was going to say to imagine a small fish flopping in there, but would that be too weird?”
Honey’s green cheeks burned red as her eyes and ears fixed on Thomas. “Maybe a tad, but keep goin’. What else can ya do?”
Thomas faced Silver, hoping to deflect the question. But, alas, she merely shrugged.
“I apologize, but that is all I remember.” The bat mare then tried meeting Moonlight’s eyes, but she was too busy staring at Thomas. Finally, the shorter mare cleared her throat to get her peer’s attention and gestured.
“Hmm? Oh, um… Okay, maybe I know the basic premise for the industry. Some friends have jokingly asked if I could help with things just because I’m a unicorn, but I don’t really know the specifics,” the orange mare admitted. “Though, if I had to guess”—she paused to lick her lips—“I-I think it might be fun to, um, r-rub the little person on my body?”
Thomas chuckled at Moonlight’s cute embarrassment, but found all three mares wore similar expressions. Silver had tried to keep things casual and play it off as no big deal. However, it appeared they’d crossed a line at some point, unofficially designating the perverted human as the expert. So, he braced himself for this responsibility, and administered his wisdom. “Breast smothering is a big thing,” Thomas began. “Putting the shrunken person between the tits and basically giving him a full-body boob job.”
“Wouldn’t that hurt?” Honey inquired.
“Depends on how rough you are.”
“I’d be too worried that your tiny body might be too fragile,” Moonlight admitted.
“Surely there are durability wards we could add,” Silver suggested.
Again, Moonlight’s horn spotlighted Thomas, scanning him until she retrieved the list of approved spells. However, she frowned in discontent. “These are only suggestions, though.”
“Feelgood said wards ‘n’ the like should be fine,” Honey interjected. “Plus, makin’ the li’l guy more durable sounds like common sense. Now, Ah ain’t sayin’ ya’ll can’t protect him, but it never hurts to have extra help.”
Moonlight directed her frown at Honey. “Yes, but are you just saying that because your tail is flagged?” She glanced behind the mare.
“Yer one ta talk,” Honey retorted with a smirk and a glance of her own.
Thomas couldn’t be sure from his position. However, given that he saw no tails resting around the mares’ bottoms, he felt safe guessing how their three backsides looked right now.
“A durability ward would be prudent, given the circumstances,” Silver advised. “Besides, we do not have to do anything. I find the mere idea quite stimulating,” she added as her hand not-so discretely slid down her trim tummy and between her legs.
Biting her lip, Moonlight faced Honey to get her take, only to find the tall mare already pinching her nipples while giving an encouraging look. Finally meeting Thomas’ deadpan gaze, the unicorn decided she only needed one palm to hold his diminished form, and used her newly freed hand to mirror Silver. “So… a boob job?”
Thomas’ pulse spiked when it clicked in his head, and he closed his fingers around his shaft. “Yeah, basically. The hypothetical little person, who may or may not be someone you know,”—he smirked when the mares all narrowed their eyes at him—“isn’t rooted like a cock would be, so you’d have to use different motions.” Imagining that he had breasts, Thomas used both hands to mime elaborate rubbing motions. “Instead of going up and down, you’d do more squishing and go inward, I think. And depending on whose writing, the breasts are sensitive enough to feel even the tiny prick, and the boob flesh feels just as good for the little guy. It’s supposed to make the big person feel powerful to have a shrunken person at their mercy, and the tiny is also turned on by being treated like a toy.”
“That reminds me of Luna when she gets… overstimulated,” Silver related while shamelessly masturbating. “Sh-she uses both hands, or perhaps her horn, and manipulates my body as though I am a mere object.” She put her other hand behind her back to keep her balance as her eyes closed and her rubbing hand grew more vigorous.
“She put ya in her,” Honey reminded. Her mind projected a clear image of the last time that happened. The bat mare and alicorn had started off with simple scissoring, but then Luna got a crazed look in her eye, and everyone gave her some space. Silver had already been trapped in blue magic that inserted her leg into the taller mare’s sex. The alicorn used the shorter mare’s entire leg like a giant dildo, thrusting her in and out, and colliding their clits to entice rapturous screams from both. “N-not all, b-but a lot.” Then she faced the human, now imagining as he described.
Thomas nodded and resumed masturbating for his ladies to watch. “Humans can’t stretch like ponies, so, depending on how big we’re talking, a shrunken person is usually big enough to meet the lady’s needs without hurting her.” He leaned forward over the quivering palm to see the orange mare’s sex obscured by her other hand. However, he’d been inside her often enough the typical way to know her dimensions. “Yeah, I-I’m probably big enough.”
“To do what!?” Moonlight demanded more forcefully than intended. “Wh-what would you do in me?”
Thomas jerked his shoulders in twisting motions as though dancing. “I’d wiggle and writhe. I’d touch everything I can reach. And, uh, if I were writing the story, I’d have the little guy listen to his lady’s moans and adjust himself to get the strongest reactions.” His shaft grew hot from friction and arousal as he pumped himself. “Wait, no. I-I’d start on the outside, kissing your clit and maybe fucking your lips with my whole body.”
“Yeah, you’d have ta use the whole thing!” Honey agreed. “Rub it like yer makin’ snow angels.”
“Maybe I can pinch the outer lips to see how you like that?” offered the human.
“Oh, how courteous,” panted Silver. “Wh-when would you g-go in, though?”
Thomas chuckled as his breathing grew labored. “Maybe I’d slip some of my body in, only for you to swallow me up, o-or maybe you’d get impatient and shove me in. Ngh! It’d be so wet and slippery in there. Fuck, just imagine how loud that’d be.”
“Holy Faust, Ah jus’ thought ‘f mud wrestlin’!” Honey blurted, now with one hand on her breast and the other matching the other between her legs to mirror the other mares. “O-only it ain’t mud. Wet bodies slippin’ ‘n’ slidin’ all over each other, b-but it ain’t mud. Ngh!” She was getting close.
“I-I wonder how long until I f-found your g-spot,” Thomas thought aloud as he imagined the beautiful pussies surrounding him. “Y-you’d be so turned on; I bet it’d just take one touch to send me flying out like a rocket!”
Silver came first, throwing her head back as she screamed at the ceiling. Her wings snapped open, grazing Moonlight’s back as her thighs clamped together. Knowing that his mere words caused one of his lovers to climax was enough to push Thomas over the edge next. He hadn’t masturbated like this since coming to Equestria, so his ejaculation shot over his feet and reached an impressive distance to leave white spots on the orange mare’s hand. Speaking of whom, Moonlight had barely kept her palm steady as she touched herself, so she held back a little longer to keep from accidentally dropping her man. She waited until it looked like Silver had finished, and shoved the shrunken human in the bat mare’s grasp before throwing herself at Honey. The unicorn buried her face in the earth mare’s tits, deeply inhaling the green mare’s earthen musk as her fingers penetrated both their pussies. Honey brought the hand previously preoccupied with her breasts around her orange lover’s back, and the pair pressed into one another as they rode out their climax.
Thomas watched from afar, still somewhat awed at how he’d made his mares so horny with nothing but words. To call this moment an ego boost would have been an understatement. The ordeal had even let him temporarily forget his shrinking plight to let him feel normal. Well, about as normal as things got in this bonkers world of magical, candy-colored horse people. Maybe, if they were careful, they could maintain this normalcy until—
*WHAM!*
The door slammed open with such force that it left cracks in the wall. Thomas had never even seen it go that wide, and briefly wondered if the thing had been broken. However, more pressing than a door embedded in a wall, the griffon and duo of white and indigo mares marched in with heavy hoof steps, paw pats, and hearts full of purpose. Their heads swiveled to face the trio of previously masturbating mares before their eyes zeroed in on the tiny critter in the small one’s hand.
And just like that, Thomas realized that it wasn’t a matter of if he was screwed, but how it would happen and when.
Luna’s reaction was roughly what one might expect. Having returned early from her nightly duties, she immediately scooped Thomas up in her magic, turned him this way and that as she examined him with her eyes, spells, and everything else at her disposal, all while she and Talon accosted him with questions. Feelgood had sent them a scroll. Interestingly enough, Surprise remained silent while observing with wide-eyed wonder. At the same time, guards and other servants hurried to close the doors while pretending to not notice the harem’s personal drama. Then, just as the noise had gotten too much for the human and he moved to cover his ears, the white mare cupped her hands around his puny form, snatching him out of the air and flying him to a safe distance.
“Too loud,” Surprise chided in a library-appropriate voice as she hovered near the ceiling, Thomas concealed behind her fingers.
Luna’s bristling fur and burning eyes made her look ready to do a violence on her plump lover, but then she took a second to calm down and process her words. “Y-you are right,” she conceded, dimming her horn and bowing her head in supplication.
“Shit, sorry,” Talon added as she rubbed the back of her head.
Smiling in satisfaction, Surprise removed her upper hand from Thomas, exposing him to a smile far brighter than the lamplights and compelling him to cover his eyes. “Hehe, better?”
Thomas eventually sat up, noting how he now sat in a new hand before spying the well-meaning ladies who had accosted him, looking apologetic. “Yeah, I think I’m alright,” he said at what he hoped to be a suitable volume for his diminished size, keeping his eyes on the white mare so he didn’t have to look down. Even so, a fleeting glance at just how high his seat hovered made the young man’s stomach lurch. “Thanks for worrying about me.”
The alicorn and wren’s expressions lifted as Surprise descended. The pegasus held Thomas for all to see, but kept him close to her chest in case he needed an escape. Soon, the other mares joined the viewing party, and Thomas’ pulse began accelerating under such enormous eyes.
“Whoa, back up, ladies!” Surprise declared, stepping back without jostling her passenger. “The little guy spooks easy.”
“Ugh, we’re back to that?” Talon groaned. “Stars above, it took so much work to get you past that the first time!”
“Oh yeah?” Thomas retorted. “Well, how about we swap sizes and see how well you like it.”
Talon beamed in approval. “Alright, not totally spineless. I can work with that.” She then looked at the alicorn. “Also…”
“No,” Luna denied, shaking her head as she magically materialized a scroll. “I asked Dr. Feelgood to send me this summation of events, including the spells used, and I fear that any magic too complex will only exacerbate the issue, likely in unexpected ways. Thusly, a direct reversal is not an option at this time.”
“So, this is probably going to sound annoying, but I have to say it anyway,” Surprise began. “Are you feeling alright, ya know, all things considered?”
After a moment’s thought, Thomas nodded. “Honestly, yeah. This is about what it was like when I first came to Equestria. Only, instead of being all alone, the number of people who can accidentally sit on me has skyrocketed. So, still waiting to see if that’s a worthy tradeoff.”
Talon nodded. “Still a smartass. Good. I’d have been worried otherwise.” She then faced the other mares as they finished cleaning their messes. Sniffing, the griffon asked, “Also, what were you guys doing?”
“We wanted to take Sir Thomas’ mind off his recent problems, one discussion led to another, and he provided insights into the shrinking fetish,” Silver succinctly answered.
“Seriously?” Surprise chided. “I mean, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little curious, too, but there’s a time and a place for these things.”
“Hey, we were only talking,” Thomas countered, only for the new trio to narrow their eyes upon him. “Uh, it was… an intense talk,” he phrased like a question.
Luna’s ear flicked as her nostrils flared. “How intense, exactly?”
Surprise rolled her eyes. “Ugh, I should have betted how long it’d take for us to catch the horniness.”
Talon chuckled and put a claw on the white mare’s shoulder. “Alicorns have literally insane hormones, filly, and they pretty much default to sex whenever dealing with any kind of stress. The moment they get a breather, any bet over a minute is automatically invalid.”
Surprise nodded. “Your wisdom is most appreciated, master. I shall strive to take your lessons to heart.”
Luna merely rolled her eyes. “That is a gross exaggeration. Alicorns have other coping mechanisms.” Then, as Talon leveled a withering glare on the larger female, she added, “We dooo! The pleasurable company provided by concubines extends beyond your bodies, you know.”
“Oh? So you keep me around for my charm and insightful wit?” Talon asked, striking an elegant pose that wouldn’t be out of place in a fashion magazine, and then she maliciously farting, fanning the air with her tail and wings.
“Charm is certainly a word for it,” Luna allowed before returning her attention to the human. “My analysis concurs with the doctor. Your condition is stable, yet your predicament is…” The mare gestured at the little man. “We will have to make arrangements.”
“Yeah, how’s the little guy supposed to get around?” Surprise asked.
Talon huffed and folded her arms. “Yup. Looks like you’re on your own for this one, mini-chimp. It sure does suck that you don’t have anyone who already follows you around like you’re glued at the hip. Then, we could just have you ride on her shoulder or something. But, since I can’t think of anyone like that,”—she glanced at the unicorn—“I guess it’s up to me to knuckle under and be your personal chauffeur.”
Accepting the challenge, Moonlight stood, closed the distance, and expectantly held her hand out to Surprise. The pegasus moved her passenger to the unicorn’s open palm, allowing the human to hop to his new carrier. The mare and man then shared a smile before she carefully placed him on her shoulder.
Thomas fixed his hands on the joint layered beneath hard muscle as he struggled to hold his balance. He was more mindful of the mare’s breathing from this new spot, and when she turned to get a better look at him, he braced himself for impact from her long face. “Man, the pictures make this look so easy, but the shoulder is a terrible place to keep someone.”
“Ya sure? Fluttershy lets animals sit on her shoulder all the time,” Talon argued facetiously, like she already knew the counter, but still wanted to say it.
“Those animals either have wings or climbing claws.” Thomas extended his foot and wiggled his toes. “I ain’t got neither.”
“Shy also lets critters perch on her teats,” Talon added with a wry grin before meeting the unicorn’s eyes.
“Are you serious?” Moonlight asked in wide-eyed astonishment.
Talon gave a firm, audacious nod. “Indubitably.”
“Can you even spell that?” Thomas questioned.
“No, but I see the issue.” Talon grabbed Moonlight’s breasts, causing the mare to flinch from the unexpected contact as the wren pushed the flesh orbs together. “Not enough meat on these teats.” She then released her grip, letting the boobs bounce back to their default position before running a claw through the boob gap and along the mare’s sternum.
Moonlight blushed in embarrassment, feeling more insecure about her breast size than ever before.
“I’m not sure size is the problem,” Surprise said, using her shoulders and upper arms to squish her mamma jammas together. When she released the pressure, her boobs were at least still touching, but she remained unsatisfied as she ran a finger through her cleavage canyon. “He’d fall through the moment I relax.” Then the mare turned her body and drew attention to her shapely rear, eyes ponderous. “Maybe if we—”
“Ugh, just wear a bra!” Thomas blurted in frustration, unsure if the ladies were going out of their way to be difficult and ignore the obvious solution. However, the look of surprise on their faces suggested the idea wasn’t so obvious to the Equestrians. “Uh, yeah, a bra should hold everything in place. Ya know, unless someone wants to wear a shirt with pockets, or something,” he apologetically added.
“Uh, Ah left mine in mah drawers,” Honey admitted as the other mares nodded and muttered in agreement.
Luna’s horn lit as her sparkling gown disappeared, haphazardly discarded to the table through teleportation as her sports bra manifested around her newly naked top. Then, much to Thomas’ relief, she didn’t simply levitate him into her top, but extended her hand to Moonlight, allowing him to change mares on his own. It was nice how they gave him such a courtesy, at least. However, once in the new mare’s grasp, the larger hand still maneuvered him like an object into the cleavage.
Thomas’ heart rate skyrocketed as the mountain-sized melons drew near. His proximity and new size enabled him to distinguish each and every individual hair and dimple in the cleavage valley. As Luna’s fingers gripped him, he held onto them as they slipped him into the cleft of compressed flesh. Luna’s boobs were traditionally soft and warm in all the best ways, but this time felt different. As his feet slipped inside, disappearing into the cleft, he likened the sensation to more like a bouncy castle. She was still soft, but much firmer, and she also felt a lot hotter. Regardless, despite motor-boating these babies countless times, the smell of boob sweat was stronger than ever, and his erection was just as hard. It felt awkward to pop a boner with everything else going on at the moment. However, first of all, Thomas wasn’t sure if this was a new boner, or if he’d kept the one from talking dirty with the others. And secondly… giant boobs. That seemed like sufficient justification to invalidate all other arguments. Then, before the human knew what had happened, Luna’s fingers departed, and he was waist-deep in giant mare boobs.
“Well?” Luna asked expectantly.
When Thomas didn’t immediately reply, Talon added, “How are the titanic teats, chimp?”
Snapping back to reality, Thomas looked down. Everything below had been enveloped by indigo cleavage, with his legs tightly packed together. He tried twisting in his new confinement, but the boobs held fast. However, there was just enough friction to tease his already overstimulated pecker, making the young man purse his lips. “Well, uh, I don’t think I’ll fall.”
“Ya better stress test it, though,” Honey advised before facing Silver and Moonlight. “Mares with more ta work with gotta be extra sure that everythin’ stays where it oughtta when yer movin’ ‘round.”
Silver blinked up at the tall mare. “Did you just brag?”
“Jus’ statin’ facts,” Honey deadpanned.
“She’s lying,” Talon stage-whispered.
However, Luna tuned out the peanut gallery and began walking around the room. The others gave her space as she experimented with different kinds of strides, from a casual walk to a hip-wagging stage swagger. “Anything?”
“Uh, nah, so far, so good,” Thomas reported. The bounce with each step causing the breasts to slightly rub around him seemed too obvious to be worth sharing.
Nodding, Luna moved on to more elaborate actions, such as running in place and bouncing, only to stop when Thomas grunted. “Goodness, are you alright?”
“Uh… I don’t know,” Thomas admitted with a half-hearted laugh. “The boobs kinda, I guess, clapped around me, and… Ya ever been knocked down by a giant beach ball? Well, I just got crushed between a pair.”
“Did it hurt?” Talon asked.
“Uh, minor impact damage, I think, but otherwise, I think I’m good.”
“Good, because I’ve been watching you this whole time, and I’m not the only one getting jealous,” Talon said while gesturing at the other mares. She, Silver, and Surprise all had wing boners, Moonlight hugged herself while staring intently at the tiny human, and Honey wouldn’t stop massaging her breasts together like she was practicing to give someone a boob job.
“I must admit,” Luna began, her breathing heavily as she knew Thomas could feel her pulse. “Your motions between mine teats, while minor, are no less… noticeable.”
Thomas blinked rapidly as he stared up at the giant nostrils looming overhead. Luna had no visible nose hairs or boogers, but each breath felt like someone had opened the door to a sauna. He then looked down to where his boner was still enveloped in cleavage, along with everything below the hips. “So, uh, does this count as you giving me a boob job?”
***
Meanwhile, just beyond the haphazardly sealed doors, Jet was stricken by the odd compulsion to slam her face against a wall. Then she glanced over her shoulder, certain she knew the culprit responsible for this impulse.
***
“I suddenly have deep regrets for not inquiring more deeply into my parents’ whorse,” Silver admitted. At the others’ confusion, she elaborated, “I had mentioned earlier that my parents often contracted a whorse to—as I understood it—engage in shrink-play with them. Now, I wish I understood the process better.”
Talon’s beak curled into a wry grin as she slowly faced the Princess and her passenger. “Really? Too bad we don’t have bucking experts around here that might fill you in on the juicy details.” Then, after a brief pause, she pointed her thumbs at herself and added, “Of course, I mean me.”
“P-Princess Celestia shrinks!?” Moonlight asked in low-key alarm.
“She plays with size in every way you can imagine,” Talon slowly boasted, drawing out each word as she lorded her expertise over the others, only to rethink her position. “Well, in every way they can imagine,” she amended while gesturing at the alicorn and human. “The rest of you are still basically newbs with no idea just how wild alicorns can get.”
“Oh? Would you care to elaborate?” Silver asked in a tone that sent chills through everyone’s spines.
“Yeah, back up a second,” Thomas interjected, glancing in concern between the alicorn and griffon. “I remember you guys saying Luna was basically still recovering from Nightmare Moon, and she’d need more concubines to handle her needs as she did. You’re saying there’s still more!?” He faced Luna in horror, silently pleading for this to be some terrible misunderstanding. Surely, she couldn’t get any hornier than she already did. Surely!
Wincing apologetically, Luna held up a hand where the human could see and pinched her thumb and trigger finger to roughly an inch apart.
Thomas went limp in his boob seat. “I’m gonna die by snu-snu,” he stated in reverent awe of the inevitable.
“Ah feel like we’re gettin’ off track a tad,” Honey interjected. “Weren’t we ‘bout ta get inta playin’ with size ‘n’ how ta do it safely? Cuz, Ah don’t know ‘bout the rest ‘f ya, but Ah’d really like ta try.”
“Oh-oh-oh! Me too!” Surprise chirped while excitedly holding her hand up like she wanted the teacher to call on her. “Only if it’s safe, though.”
“Oh, there are most certainly ways,” Luna confirmed, staring with naked lust at the man between her tits.
“F-Feelgood mentioned wards,” Moonlight reminded as she held up the spell list.
Instead of levitating the list to her face, Luna walked to the unicorn, taking steps heavier than necessary to force her breasts to bounce. She then bent over to read, trying to not make it too obvious how she rocked her torso to make her massive mammary glands sway. “Hmm, yes, I imagined this would be the case.” Straightening her posture, the alicorn then folded her arms under her chest to push up her boobs. “Aside from actual size alteration, safe shrink-play generally involves only a few simple spells, with only a few not listed here.”
“Wait-wait-wait!” Moonlight rambled, closing her eyes and stepping aside for some air. Watching Thomas bounce in Luna’s boobs had been overstimulating, and she needed to clear her head. “Are we really going to do this? I mean, it was one thing to talk about it, but we’re really going to…” She gestured vaguely at Thomas. “With him in…” She then gestured at her groin.
“Thomas,” Luna gently called. “As your Princess, ruler, employer, and lover, I hereby order you to not feel peer pressure.” Her formal statement left everyone speechless as they waited to hear the rest. “I have always found your features attractive, and this recent development has only made you more adorable. These are objective facts, as is my wish to act on my desires. However, I order you to disregard mine and everyone else’s feelings on the matter. Our hypothetical disappointment is irrelevant compared to your safety and comfort. Therefore, Senior Concubine, given that it is time for my late evening release, I ask that you conduct events to your liking.”
Thomas blinked once as he processed Luna’s weighty words. “Oh yeah, I’m the Senior Concubine,” he remembered aloud. It had been a small eternity since he’d last thought about his title and its implications. It was his duty to satisfy Luna’s lust, which he believed he’d gotten quite good at. The young man liked to imagine he wasn’t a selfish lover and always prioritized the others’ feelings. After all, they seemed to like what he did, and he liked doing it. However, Luna asking him to put himself first felt off. It was perfectly logical under the circumstances, but the idea still didn’t sit right with him. “Sorry, but that’s easier said than done,” he admitted, not noticing how shocked the others looked.
“Are you defying me?” Luna questioned. She hadn’t used the Royal Canterlot Voice, but the technique was more refined, speaking with sufficient gravitas and authority that only those with strong convictions could refuse. Although, knowing Thomas, it was more likely that being a different species or his general lack of social awareness left him immune.
Thomas sighed. “I’m not sure if we’re playing around or if that’s actually supposed to mean something—”
Called it.
“—but if I’m being honest, this whole thing is freaking me out, and that just makes it even hotter,” he admitted. “I’m… curious.”
Luna licked her lips. Even if Thomas had merely exploited a loophole, challenging her as he had, despite his meekness, was still a massive turn-on. “So, thou wishes to try?”
“Oh, there’s lots of things I want, but as far as stuff I’m willing to commit to…” Thomas trailed off as he considered his phrasing. “Mmmaybe a little.”
Talon opened her beak to make a pun, but thought better of it.
“This is one of my fetishes, the kind of fantasy I thought I could only experience through stories and pictures. So, if magic makes this common enough to have standard safety practices, then I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted.”
“He said while sitting in temptation’s tits,” Talon remarked, earning several scowls and one thumbs-up.
Thomas smacked his lips. “No, that’s accurate,” he reasoned. “Sooner or later, this is gonna happen. So, since I have the option, it might as well be on my terms, right?”
Luna nodded, concealing her giddy anticipation behind a stoic poker face. “Indeed. So, how would you like to proceed?”
Thomas’ perverted grin split his face as a wave of ideas flooded his twisted little mind.
Thomas’ heart raced like it wanted to escape his chest. Still no taller than a pony finger was long, the young man sat atop a pillow on Luna’s bed, the site of a sizeable percentage of his life since coming to Equestria. Before him sat his ladies arranged in a crescent shape. He felt like some kind of feudal lord presiding over his council (of hot naked ladies). All he needed was a fan and some respectable facial hair to complete the look. Although he should probably stop jittering like a vibrator, he was just too excited. So, he tried calming himself with thoughts of the procedure. “Are all the spells set?”
Luna nodded, bowing her head as she lit her horn to cast light everywhere. Then, opening her eyes, she replied, “All is well. You may do as you like.”
Thomas puttered his lips and faced the box beside him. It was small enough that it didn’t take much effort on his end to reach the contents spewing from the lid like an actively erupting water fountain. Dozens of slips of paper, each with a handwritten suggestion from everyone in the harem, awaited his selection. “So, explain this magic shuffling thing again.”
“The spell reads our suggestions and prioritizes from least to most intensity,” Luna explained. “My slips are no more valued than anyone else’s, save for their contents.”
“Okay, then let’s try it out,” Thomas stated as he reached for the nearest paper. “So, going in alphabetical order, Honey and I shall… kiss.” He turned the relatively oversized paper around, searching for more, but only found the one word. Then he looked up at the big green mare as she grinned in anticipation. “My, what big lips you have.”
Honey made kissy faces at the shrunken human as she got on all fours to crawl forward. The earth mare batted bedroom eyes at the man as she moved like a cat, casual and with mock indifference. However, while the way she wagged her hips wasn’t anything particularly noteworthy, everyone still craned for a look at her exposed behind. They’d all seen it countless times before, yet something was still eye-catching about a mare with her tail flagged. Thomas’ eyes also traced the distant outline of her buttocks, yet he was more concerned with how he felt the nearing mare’s movements beneath his feet. Finally, she reached the pillow and lowered her massive head to the man’s level. “Pucker up, sugar,” she said before doing just that, her lips mere inches from the human’s form.
Thomas stared up at the massive, elongated head larger than most road vehicles, finding it hard not to laugh at the situation’s raw absurdity. Even Honey’s lips looked bigger than him. Up close and from this size, he saw every last wrinkle and imperfection with pristine clarity. At least her eyes were closed, but the nervously giggling man figured her patience wouldn’t last forever. So, he threw himself forward.
It amused Thomas to think that months of exposure to Amazonian mares had prepared him for this moment, as Honey’s immense lips were like a wrinkly pair of alicorn-sized butt cheeks; soft, squishy, and warm. The suction was new, though. Intense pressure drew Thomas forward, the lips compressing under his puny form as the possibility of being sucked inside the mare’s maw suddenly became all too real. And while he trusted her, the prospect still frightened him. So, on a whim and with few other options, Thomas returned the lip pucker while his head could barely turn. Luckily, that seemed sufficient to signal the suction’s end, causing the human to drop several shrunken feet back onto the pillow.
“Hehe, that was neat,” Honey giggled as she eyed the mouse-sized critter she called her lover. Then, glancing down, she added, “Ah’m glad Ah ain’t the only one who liked it.”
Thomas stared between his legs at what he decided to dub his why-boner. “Why?” he asked, gesturing at his boner. It twitched in answer.
“How is it that you seem more confused about your body’s reactions than we do?” Silver inquired, a hand over her tittering muzzle.
“Well, short of me discovering I’ve got a whole new fetish, what’s your explanation?” Thomas asked, still snickering his nerves away.
“Clearly, you like her,” Silver said as though it were obvious. Gesturing to the other ladies for their input, all nodded in agreement. “You like her, and are biased in favor of whatever she does, even if you might otherwise think it bizarre.”
Blinking as he deadpanned at the gray mare, Thomas eventually replied, “I just went through a full-body suction, and you managed to make it sound romantic.” Then, pinching the bridge of his nose, he added, “You girls are too much for me.”
“I hope you mean that in a positive manner, as it is now my turn,” Luna insisted, pushing the box closer to the tiny human.
Thomas eventually complied and read the next part of the sentencing for what surely must have been some terrible crime in a past life. “Nipple twirlies? What’s that?”
“Oh, you know,” Surprise began, pushing her chest out and tracing circles around her areola. “You just twirl the nipple.”
“Ah, a thinking man’s challenge,” Thomas said. Standing, he stared up at the mare, who looked enormous on a normal day, but this day, she was positively gargantuan. Then, puzzling as he mentally worked out the logistics, he eventually said, “I think this’ll work better if you lie down.”
Beaming eagerly, Luna nodded as the others gave her space. Once on her back, Thomas motioned for her to pick him up, which she gently did before setting his fragile-looking body on her erect teat. She hissed through her teeth the instant his feet contacted her sensitive, naked skin and bit her bottom lip when he started moving. Although the touch was minor relative to, say, a whole groping hand, knowing the pressure on her teat was from an entire shrunken body made the experience inexplicably exciting. “W-we admit t-to not indulging in this type of play before,” she confessed, realizing the others had gathered around her for a better view. She felt like a table bearing either an eye-catching statue or a plate of mouth-watering food.
“Never?” Thomas asked, getting down to his knees and eyeing the protrusion on the dark indigo floor as he contemplated how to pull off something that would constitute a twirl.
“Well, it honestly never occurred to us to perform such a spell for r-recreation,” Luna said, matching Thomas’ nervous giggle as her eyes flittered between the ceiling, her other lovers’ faces, and the little guy making her naturally enormous rack look even more massive. “W—I had heard of such on my return, but hadn’t thought to investigate further. Clearly, a grave oversight on my part.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll spank you later,” Talon assured. “Until then, I’m not sure the little guy can pull off a proper twirl. At least, not without help,” she intoned while nudging Luna’s hand.
“Uh… yeah, that’s probably true,” Thomas allowed, once more seeing the giant indigo fingers approach. They gently collided with his chest, and he let them push him back into the coarser-than-usual boob flesh. Thomas held onto the digits as they dragged him around the areola, the gentle pressure mixing with the fleshy friction for a surprisingly comfortable ride.
“Ngh, h-how is it?” Luna purred.
“Hehe, not bad. Hmm, yeah, this is pretty nice,” the human informed, staring up at the giant heads of the mares and wren as they practically drooled with envy at him. Or rather, they craved what Luna did with him, as demonstrated by Surprise and Moonlight pinching their nipples. Then, Luna carefully lifted the man by pinching his waist, depositing him on her other breast to repeat the motion, only with slightly more pressure.
“Not too rough?” pondered the purring Princess, loving how the little man’s naked skin felt against her sensitive flesh. She’d always loved when he or anypony handled her teats tenderly, roughly, licked her like she tasted of sugar, or performed any kind of touching, really. However, having a lover reduced to such a helpless state, yet still giving himself so willingly to her machinations, had a thrill that far exceeded the physical contact. Thomas was utterly at Luna’s mercy, and seeing the smile on his face as she guided him around her erect nipple set her loins on fire. Biting her bottom lip, the Princess hoped somepony would break protocol and join, preferably by attacking her marehood.
“No, this is good,” Thomas assured, shifting his shoulders for maximum relaxation.
“Hey, Moony,” Talon said while elbowing Moonlight. “Look at Silvs. I can’t tell who she’s more jealous of.”
“Can I not desire both?” Silver huffily retorted, never tearing her eyes from the fascinating sight as she fidgeted.
Finally, Luna finished and set Thomas back on his pillow as she sat up, her nipples appearing hard and sharp enough to be deadly. “I would have liked to do more, but I do not wish to hoard you to myself and deny the others.”
Thomas swayed as he sat. “My body’s rocking like I just got off a boat,” he joked. “Also, crazy idea, but are there boob beds?” At the others’ confusion, he clarified, “I sleep on boob pillows, like, every other night, and I imagine most people in relationships have that option, so literal pillows probably wouldn’t sell much. But what about giant, boob-shaped beds, like beanbags made to feel just like giant boobs so people can pretend?”
“Hmm, intriguing. There could be standard presets, but having options for custom models would be most appealing,” Luna muttered as her horn made a pen scratch against parchment. “We already have desirable stallions model their stallionhoods for coolers, so I imagine giving mares the same opportunity would hold considerable allure.”
“And plots. Don’t forget the plots!” demanded Talon.
“I want to sleep in Princess Luna’s butt every night,” Silver swooned.
Surprise giggled, hugging her ample cleavage as she added, “I wanna sleep in my own boobs. Ain’t no girls better than mine.”
“Okay, yeah-yeah, we get it. This is a great idea,” Honey droned dismissively. “Can we focus on what matters now ‘n’ think about makin’ money later?”
“I agree wholeheartedly.”
Honey narrowed her eyes at Moonlight. “Cuz yer turn is next?’
“I’m allowed multiple reasons!”
Chuckling, Thomas waved his hand over the paper slips and picked the least wrinkled one. “I want to sit on his face,” he read, trying to discern the handwriting. He looked up to check their faces, but everyone seemed to be blushing equally, so the guilty party was difficult to pinpoint. “Okay, well, aiming for just my face might be tricky, but we can try.”
“We can skip this one if you’re nervous,” Moonlight offered.
Thomas sighed as his gaze fell on the mare’s cutie marks and the prominent curves below. “I’ve trusted you guys this far. Besides, we’re only on the third go, and can you guys honestly say there aren’t other kinds of crushing coming up?” Then, at their guilty expressions, he added, “I’m surrounded by perverts.”
“And proud of it!” Talon and Surprise crowed in unison, only to share a snicker.
“Uh, okay then,” Moonlight accepted, licking her lips in anticipation. She reached for Thomas, stopping an inch from grabbing him until he closed the distance himself. She needed to be sure he was on board with this. Recalling the other thing she needed to be sure of, she pressed a finger to cover his mouth and instructed, “Speak.”
“Supercalafrajalisticexpyaladoshious,” Thomas said around the digit blocking his mouth. Even expecting the spell to ensure his words were heard, he was still awed by the result. Magic really was something else, and it would never be otherwise.
Moonlight grinned in satisfaction, releasing his mouth as she moved the man to her bum. Then, mindful of the eyes upon her, she leaned to one side and lifted her cheek. Still not entirely sure of herself, she deposited the shrunken man on the blanket’s warm indent where her cheek had been. Then she slowly sat back down until she felt the human-shaped bump. Remaining mindful not to apply too much pressure, she considered the lump jammed against her plot. Closing her eyes to better focus, she noted the little man’s outline, the general protrusion around his facial features, and an itsy bitsy prick that could have been nothing else. Combined with the form’s overall stillness, the experience proved… disappointing.
“How is he?” Surprise asked.
Moonlight experimentally wiggled her hips. “I-I’m not sure. It’s like I’m sitting on a small toy or a mouse. I’m afraid I don’t think I see the appeal.”
“Yer cheeks are red, sugar,” Honey indicated.
“Hmm, so they are,” Moonlight considered, once more wiggling her lower cheeks while staring off into space as she contemplated the bump. Then she stared down, trying to see the human through her body. “My marehood is tingling, and my anus… erm, Thomas, how is it on your end?”
“Will you promise not to get mad if I say you’re a little heavy?” requested the man with a grunt, speaking despite his jaw being as immobile as the rest of him beneath the warm mass. Thomas would have liked to move, as maybe that might make this more fun for at least one of them, but his mare was just too heavy. Even his fingers were barely mobile.
“So, is this doing anything for you?” Moonlight asked.
“Uh, not really,” Thomas admitted. Moonlight’s butt was heavy, but the magical protections ensured he wasn’t in any pain, merely minor discomfort. He could also hear just fine, even if the blood pumping through his lover’s booty was a tad loud. “I think my boner’s just stuck this way. Your butt feels kinda nice, and it smells alright, but we’re still in the minor stuff, so this isn’t really doing it for me. What about you?” he asked as the massive rump lifted and light poured into the former darkness.
“Me neither,” Moonlight said in relief as she scooped up her lover and deposited him back on his pillow. “Don’t get me wrong. There is a lot that I’d like to do to you down there, but I can’t enjoy anything while I’m worried about crushing you.”
Thomas chuckled. “I recall hearing something about an anus?”
“Uh… Silver’s turn!” Moonlight declared, pushing the shorter mare into the group’s center. She checked the others’ expressions, worried she might have let them down by not doing more with her turn, but found no such indication.
Thomas, likewise fearful of disappointing the others, merely pulled the next paper from the box. “Teat squish.”
Moonlights snapped her fingers in annoyance. “Dammit!” she grumbled.
By contrast, Silver taunted the mare with needless smugness while squishing her breasts together. “No pony is allowed to comment on the moment’s irony. We are all aware that mine are the smallest, so there is no need to draw attention.”
“She said while knowing we’re all gonna be staring at her girls,” Talon remarked. “We’ll also have to squint just to see the squishee and squisher—Ugh!” The wren grunted when Silver reached behind Surprise to whack the griffon with her wing. “I regret nothing.”
Rolling her eyes, Silver leaned down to Thomas’ level, hands to either side of her relatively minuscule bust as her nipples brushed the pillow. “Your chariot awaits, monsieur,” she invited.
Chuckling, Thomas strode forward and, feeling playful, hopped into the crevice. Boob flesh enveloped his body up to his armpits, and while the pressure was tight, there was a space between the tits and sternum where the man still had a little wiggle room, so it was notably more comfortable than the last squish. In addition to the all-encompassing warmth, Thomas noticed Silver’s heartbeat thudding against his back. Even as the pulse accelerated, the drumming remained oddly soothing. “Okay, I can dig this—whoa!” he gasped when Silver suddenly sat up, and he felt like his stomach fell into his feet while riding the world’s fastest elevator. “Hey, not so fast.”
“My apologies, but this is quite fun,” Silver snickered, rotating her breasts in circles while maintaining the central pressure to hold the human in place. “Hmm, I can feel you wiggling between my teats. The sensation is… most pleasant,” she described, biting her bottom lip as the truth donned on her. Thomas, the first male she considered a true lover, was utterly helpless and at her mercy. She could do literally anything she liked, presuming the others didn’t intervene. What’s more, Thomas had willingly walked into this predicament, jumping into Silver’s cleavage as he would on any other day. Of course, he’d done the same with the others, but the weight of this deeper realization hit her like Luna turning too quickly and whacking her in the face with those massive alicorn milkers. Understandably, the bat mare’s thighs clamped together in a fierce vice and began grinding in the universal act of a mare having an aching emptiness between her legs.
“That’s probably what I was missing,” reasoned Moonlight as she stared at her shrunken, smiling lover, imagining him in her chest. “It’s no fun if you can’t move.”
“As a professional face sitter, I must concur,” agreed Talon.
Then, as boob flesh continued massaging around his form, Thomas had a lightbulb moment. “Hey, wait. You said you already do this stuff with Celestia. So, shouldn’t you know all the tricks?”
Talon snickered. “Everyone’s got their own preferences, mini-chimp. Personally, I think Moonlight just didn’t do it right,”—she explained to the orange mare’s consternation—“cuz having a little cutie wiggle against my fuzzy ass sounds great. Then again, there are shrink things that Leste was way into that, honestly, I avoided cuz they freaked me out. No point in giving spoilers if it only boils down to personal preference.”
“A fair point,” acknowledged Luna. “But what is a shrink game that—?”
“Anything involving the mouth,” Talon bluntly cut in. “I’m good with a little licking, but I’m not keen on putting a squirmy little mouthful anywhere near this thing.” She indicated her beak. “One time, carnivore instincts took over, and I swallowed a shrunken mare, and even though everything was safe and we got her out pretty fast, I was still nauseous for a week. That is not the kind of squirming I go for,” she added with a claw over her six-pack.
“Okay, uh, how about we focus on the good stuff?” Thomas suggested, looking up at Silver’s massive muzzle as she purred while his arms rested atop her cleavage. “It sounds like this is working for you.”
“Hmm, yesss. I could get used to this,” the gray mare moaned, eyes closed as her body rocked in relaxation while her hands never stopped massaging her mammaries.
“Hey, easy, girl,” Surprise warned, pushing gently on the shorter mare’s shoulder. “You look like you’re ready to nod off.”
Then, whether by intent or accident, Silver fell to the opposite side, her face wedging snugly between Moonlight’s tatas. “Oh-oh-oh. Forget what I said about the teat bed. This is the only sleep aid I need.”
“Okay, Ah hope yer jus’ showin’ off ta purposefully piss us off. Cuz if this is sincere, Ah’m gonna be even more upset,” Honey bluntly informed while staring enviously at the shrunken man. “He can’t feel that good, can he?”
“I suppose you will have to wait for your next turn to find out,” Silver replied with a shit-eating grin before bending forward so her breasts touched the pillow, finally releasing her cleavage captive. “Thank you, Thomas. Once we sort out this latest mess of yours, I hope you will be willing to offer your services once more.”
“I… yeah,” Thomas replied, barely able to stand as the wavy boat feeling returned. Then, staring down at his erection, he asked, “How am I more relaxed than excited from giant boobs?”
“First time having that problem, eh?” Talon asked her short friend, once more earning a wing whack. “Retaliation only makes me more powerful!”
Chuckling at the girls’ antics, Thomas lazily took the next paper slip and read, “Kitten cleaning.” He stared intently at the two words for longer than necessary as he endeavored to narrow down the intention. Of course, there could only be one answer, yet his lips remained pursed as he searched the fourteen letters for any potential hidden meaning. “Well, we got to this one faster than I expected.” Thomas then looked up at Surprise, eyes narrowed in accusation. “Why does this seem like the sort of thing you’d say?”
“Probably cuz it is, and I did,” Surprise confessed with a beam. “What? I’m not embarrassed. Having a cute little guy using his mouth on my marehood is great, but what happens when the little guy is even littler, and therefore cuter?”
“Flawless logic,” confirmed Luna, licking her lips as an impatient hand urged the pair to get on with it.
“Alright, um, lying down?” Thomas suggested. Surprise nodded, gently taking the man in hand as she carefully lay atop the sheets before depositing him on her pelvis. While the others surrounded the white mare, Thomas trekked across her extra soft flesh. The thin hairs across her expansive body resembled vast, rolling hills of pale grass that tickled between his toes. “It’s like I’m walking over a bouncy castle,” he thought aloud, bouncing lightly as a familiar and powerful odor wafted across his airways. His already hard boner twitched, agitated from neglect, but the man ignored it in favor of lowering to all fours. Between the puffy white lips sat the glistening pink slit, somehow looking bigger than Thomas imagined it should. The lips drooled hungrily as thin, semi-dry streaks lined the mare’s inner thighs. “Hmm, there’s a sheer drop down here,” he observed, mentally calculating how to perform his task without falling. “Uh, I think I’m gonna need a hand.” A gust of wind, like something large had flown by, caused Thomas to look up, and he grinned upon seeing four colored hands and a griffon claw ready and waiting. “Thanks, but I was actually thinking Surprise would be better.”
Still beaming and trying to not shake with excitement, the white mare sat up at a roughly 45-degree angle, cupping under the little human as he tumbled into her palm. And as the others shifted in front of the pegasus for the best view, she held her shrunken lover near her aching slit, mentally bracing herself for what came next. “Don’t put him in. Don’t put him in,” she muttered. “It’s not time for that yet, so don’t put him in.”
“Your willpower is commendable,” Luna noted.
“I’m not sure I could do it,” Moonlight added, suddenly stricken by a wicked idea. “You’re shorter than your usual erection, but your stallionhood doesn’t have arms. I wonder what it’s like to feel such a little thing pushing in multiple directions from inside.”
“It’s bucking bananas, is what it is,” Talon added. “It’s hard to put into words, but once you know, there’s no going back.”
“Nnngh, you’re making it worrrse,” whined Surprise. Then, when things went silent for too long, she added, “I didn’t say sto—HAGH!” she gasped, suddenly stiffening.
Thomas had been momentarily star-struck by the giant pussy. From this new angle, the thing looked like a mouth ready to swallow him whole. And based on the mare’s mantra and the audience’s commentary, that’s precisely what they all desired, and he’d be lying if he denied being a little curious. However, the paper said for him to clean the kitten, and the shrunken human had only one tool suitable for the job. So, bracing himself for the mare’s reaction, Thomas lunged forward, hands catching to either side of the vulva, and licked the clit just as a wink exposed it. The whole world shuddered around the man, causing him to lose focus as the winking lips closed around his head. Startled, he accidentally opened his mouth and closed his teeth on something big, round, and gooey.
“Bucking fuck! Shit! Mother-bucker up my plot with a hot poker! Fuuuck!” Surprise vocalized with all her might as pleasure volts shot through her system and partially fried her brain. As a result, the others were rendered momentarily speechless.
“Well… those were words,” Honey observed, heart pounding and cheeks flushing as she looked between the lovers. The bigger one had her tongue hanging to one side, looking like she was ready to drop from overexertion, while the smaller one’s head was still absent, leaving his body utterly drenched in the former’s juices. Then, popping her lips in contemplation, the earth mare added, “Ah know what Ah wanna try next.”
“Indeed.”
“Most definitely.”
“I’m not sure I can wait.”
“Bwa-ha-ha-ha! This is hysterical!”
Eventually, Surprise winked again, and Thomas pulled his head free, dropping onto the cum-covered palm that held still behind him. He coughed a little, tasting and smelling nothing but the white mare’s femcum. Honestly, it wasn’t the first time he’d gotten her to orgasm so powerfully, but it was the first that the fallout had coated his whole body. Everything was sticky, and every move produced an audible squish. Even opening and closing his hand was like prying apart Velcro. His erection throbbed, once more reminding its owner of its neglect, but Thomas was too busy catching his breath as he stared at the wondrous, winking womanhood before him. “Whoa…”
Curious, Talon snapped her claws in Surprise’s face, but got no reaction. “Good job, mini-chimp. You killed her.” Sitting back, she put her fists on her hips and sighed in resignation. “Well, I’m sure this was how she wanted to go.”
“So even the ladies are vulnerable to death by snu-snu?” Thomas breathlessly inquired, glad he’d already shared that episode so everyone got the reference. “Cool.”
Moonlight pressed two fingers to Surprise’s neck, just to be safe. “She’s not dead, just unconscious. Still, that must have been a powerful climax. If any of us was to pass out from orgasming too hard, I would have bet on Silver.”
The bat mare indignantly huffed. “You are merely jealous that you failed to use your turn to its fullest.”
“Well, I won’t make that mistake,” Talon cut in, reaching to extract the man from the mare’s hand, chuckling as she looked him over. “Whoa, chimp. I’d ask what happened, but even knowing, I’m surprised you came out even this clean.”
“The sticky is between my toes,” Thomas countered as his body dripped and made squishy noises with every movement. “Also, I could use some water.”
“Got it,” Moonlight announced, lighting her horn and retrieving a glass from the bathroom. Then, holding it near Thomas, she was taken aback when the man dunked his upper half into the small pool and vigorously scratched around his form, dislodging as much sticky goop as possible before resurfacing with a deep inhale.
“Refreshing!”
“Whoa, looks like you caught your second wind,” Talon observed, amused.
“Yeah. Uh, were there any stimulants in that?”
Moonlight looked between the human and the water that now had bits of gunk floating in it. “I don’t think so. Why?”
“Cuz Talon’s right. I was kinda pushing it towards the end, there, but I just got a weird boost from somewhere,” Thomas loudly informed while rolling his shoulders.
“Weird, you say?” Luna questioned, lighting her horn and shining a light on the miniature man. “Hmm, I see nothing wrong, but please inform us if anything else weird happens.”
“You got it,” Thomas said with a salute before facing Talon. “So, unless I’ve gone totally loopy, I’m pretty sure it’s your turn now.”
The griffon’s beak curled into an elated grin. “Oh, you bet it is, but forget about that stupid box. You’re with a pro, now.”
“Was the box not meant to moderate escalation?” asked Silver.
“Eh, what do you need with some dumb box when you’ve got an expert like me? Besides, that thing was getting dull, and you guys were getting impatient for the little guy’s littleness. So, I propose we do things the fun way: my way.”
“That depends,” Moonlight warily replied. “What did you have in mind?”
“That I put him in my egg hole, and you guys try getting him out using only your tongues.”
“Then do it already!” Moonlight demanded louder than she’d intended, only to blush in embarrassment.
Chuckling, the wren eyed the man and asked, “Sound good, small fry?”
Still brimming with his newfound energy, Thomas nodded. “Oh, yeah,” he said without thinking.
Still chuckling, Talon spread her legs, using one hand to support herself as she leaned back and lowered her shrunken friend to her slit. “That’s my egg hole, chimp,” she informed with a sultry purr, eyes wide with predatory intensity as her pulse raced. She tried telling herself that Thomas was still just a novice, that he wouldn’t be able to please her as well as the pros she’d previously had down there. However, that did little to temper her enthusiasm as she recounted the ways that the human had impressed her in the past. Surprise’s unconscious form was just the latest example. “I know you’re already familiar with it, but I have to know. What’s different? You’re a writer, so show me some fancy words.”
Thomas swallowed and licked his lips as moist and odorous air wafted his face. Then, grinning cheekily in a way that set off alarms in those who knew him best, he sang, “It’s pink and immense, and the heat is intense. It’s barbaric, but hey, it’s home~”
Talon brought her head forward as her previously supporting hand slapped across her beak to stifle her laughter. The others attempted the same with varying degrees of success, with Luna’s guffaws sending rumbles through everyone’s bones. Glowering in accusation and struggling to keep the smile from her beak, Talon retorted, “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you.”
Thomas briefly shot the wren a wry grin before stepping forward and closing in with the pink wall, mindful to keep a safe distance when merely grazing the lips with the back of his fingers triggered a wink. “You practically gift-wrapped it for me,” he playfully argued, rubbing his hand along the fur just outside the lip and studying its fuzzy texture. “The fur feels a lot thicker than usual, but being small makes it even weirder that creatures with fur also have pubes.”
“Not those words,” Moonlight countered, sounding needy as her fingers disappeared between her clenched thighs. “Use the pretty ones.”
Thomas gave the mare a nodding smile before returning his attention straight ahead. “It’s a mouth ready to swallow me. It’s got no tongue, but I get the feeling that won’t stop it from tasting me. I know how tight it can get, and that makes me a little nervous, but I want it. It’s like I’ve been hypnotized, driven by lust to go…” He paused to reconsider. “No, that works. Plenty of guys and gals have been here before, but I’ll be the first to go where no man has gone before… into a bird woman’s egg hole.”
“Buck, I love it when you talk dirty!” Talon crowed, her claw fidgeting with the need to expedite things. “Please stop stalling. I-I don’t know how much longer I can wai—HAGH!” Her avian shriek echoed around the room when Thomas jammed his foot inside, up to the knee.
Vast walls of moist flesh gripped the man’s leg. Each wink clamped down around the limb while also pulling him deeper inside. The force wasn’t too much. However, the comparison was impossible to ignore, and the human had to say it. “It’s like your egg hole is trying to swallow me.”
“Oh, I’m trying, alright!” Talon breathily confirmed, her free hand now massaging her breast with reckless abandon. “I need you inside me, chimp. All of you. I wanna feel your whole body squirming and kicking where you’ve only sent your tongue, fingers, and human cock. Give it to me. Give it all!”
With his first leg held in place, Thomas’ body remained suspended as he inserted his other limb, hands positioned to either side of the vaginal lips to prevent any unwarranted sinking. “It’s so warm and gooey,” he narrated, twisting his body to see how it felt while making Talon whimper, his heart ever racing. “Yeah, this thing is definitely hungry for me,” he assessed just as a wink caught him off guard and pulled him up to his waist, leaving his erect cock and aching balls a hair’s breadth from touching her heated sex. Swallowing and licking his lips despite the damp air, he continued, “It wants to gulp me down, but how deep? Are the tongues gonna be long enough, or am I gonna be stuck in there?”
“You have nothing to fear, my stallion,” Luna assured, extending her tremendous taster as though imitating Jean Simmons when Thomas looked her way. “We’ll get you out of there, one way or another.”
“Okay, that actually kind of feels like a reason to fea—RRR!” the man gasped when another wink brought him up to his hip bones as hot, sticky, vaginal flesh enveloped everything below the belly button. Her pussy’s insides felt both the same and different from usual, the greater size like a vast, heated blanket pressed heavily against his manhood. “Shit, it’s moving!” Indeed, the fleshy walls ground against his sensitive skin to produce unprecedented friction. The bigness was less concentrated than the regular-sized tongue or pussy, but no less pleasurable. Thomas’ body arched, causing him to look straight up at the many mares’ looming faces, all eyeing him with such naked lust. The man’s pelvis thrust on its own, making him moan as the single incident evolved into a rhythm. He tried grabbing the lips for leverage to push and pull his body. However, someone had a better idea.
Thoroughly done with being a passive observer, Talon pinched Thomas’ little body between her claws. Handling the miniature man with a surgeon’s precision, she slipped him further inside, causing her to mewl as his body caressed her sensitive inner walls. “Th-that’s it. K-keep moving, Ngh! Y-yes, k-kick your—AGH!” she crowed as her lover kicked as though swimming. Luckily, having done this before with others, she knew the right spots to hold her tiny lover to maximize grip and pleasure, which she made sure to demonstrate for the others. “S-see, h-holding him like this, and then—GAH! Ngh! Yeah, that’s the stuff,” she explained, watching the mares’ heads slowly drop as their bodies fell into pouncing positions. This realization excited the predator, knowing her egg hole would soon be preyed upon by her lovers’ ravenous and sexy tongues.
By contrast, Thomas found it hard to focus on anything beyond the swallowing, all-encompassing pussy. Despite Talon pulling him back and forth, using his shrunken form like a toy, each insertion sent him a little deeper while the extractions stopped going beyond his stomach. The latest round had her pinching his ribs and shoulder blade and inserting him up to his collar bone, bringing him in biting distance with the wren’s clit. She pulled him back before he could try anything, so he resumed his thrashing kicks and arm flails, stimulating everything he could within her moist tunnel and studying her reactions for the best places to touch. All traces of fear had vanished, replaced by an overwhelming determination to see this sexy ordeal through to the end. Finally, he came, momentarily stiffening as his itty bitty balls spewed their droplets in the giant pussy’s sexy sea. He didn’t know if Talon felt his climax, but his body’s reaction must have signaled something in her as she jammed him all the way into her tunnel.
It was like being wrapped in a wet, smelly, fleshy sleeping bag. The magic ensured he had no breathing issues, and the tunnel’s grip never got worse than mildly uncomfortable. However, even then, the soft texture against his skin was sublime. Talon’s internal bodily noises echoed all around him, reinforcing where he was as the vaginal muscles wetly slapped and smacked across his helpless form. Thomas continued struggling, but only because the added friction felt even better. One of his first friends in this world was now giving him a full-body hug with her sex, and he loved it!
“How you doin’, chimp?” Talon breathlessly asked, her voice coming through loud and clear despite the layers of flesh and common sense asserting otherwise.
“I-I think I just came again,” Thomas shamelessly confessed as his movements slowed and his earlier energy burst dulled a tad. He saw little within the dark space, barely making out what he assumed to be ridges along the undulating walls. “Whoa, I’m really inside you, aren’t I?”
“If not, then I’ve finally cracked,” Talon joked while wordlessly beckoning the others to come closer and check for themselves. “Feel that? Guess whose hand that is.”
Thomas noted the pressure from *above* compressing him within the already confined space. Laughing as juices flooded his mouth, he replied, “No fucking idea. Uh, everyone?”
“I am glad to see your wit remains intact,” Silver assessed. “Though, how did you know it was all of us?”
“Well, my first thought was Moonlight. No way she’d wait for something like this,” Thomas explained as he twisted within the canal and studied the somewhat weightless sensation, not 100% on which way was up beyond the current hand pressure. “Man, it’s weird talking with mouthfuls of sex juice. Anyway, then I thought Luna wasn’t that much more patient. So I figured, hey, maybe it’s everyone.”
“Is it weird Ah’m both happy ‘n a li’l mad we’re so easy ta read?” asked Honey.
“You think that’s weird?” Thomas challenged. “I’m basically breathing sex juices like a freaking fish! Ain’t nothing topping that.”
“Challenge accepted!” Surprise announced, jumping into the cluster and causing even Thomas to feel her bouncing through Talon. “I have returned, and I’m ready for some payback for what you did to me.”
“Uh, I can’t see, but I get the feeling you just licked your lips,” Thomas deduced.
“Quite astute,” confirmed Silver. “Yes, her lip-licking was most animated. However, I am afraid that you do not have priority, my dear.”
“Indeed, this next part is for all of us,” Luna reminded as she resumed lowering her head. As the others mimicked her motions, she was mindful that one careless misstep might result in a most painful poke. At least she’d already dulled the tip to prevent stabbing, but that didn’t stop her horn from accidentally bumping the unicorn’s orange rod. They shared a smile each time it happened, as did the others, as they got as far into position as one could reasonably get.
Talon’s fluttering heart kicked into overdrive as she beheld five lovely faces eyeing her tender lady bits, mouths watering in anticipation of the coming feeding frenzy. At least Surprise had the courtesy to grab some pillows for the wren’s back before she’d joined the others. “I’d ask if anyone wanted to take bets on who’d win, but I think we all know that there’s one pony who has an unfair, physically gifted advantage.”
Luna nodded. “Indeed, but while Moonlight’s determination for her stallion may be great, she is not the only one who claims him,” she lightly boasted as all eyes fell on her smug smirk with incredulity. “Whaaat~?” she cheekily inquired.
“This is why alicorns piss me off,” Talon growled, making some last-minute adjustments to brace herself. “You’re so damn good at everything, and you know it! Biggest teats, strongest tongues, and the tightest marehoods around. So, if you guys wanna prove the other pony tribes are worth a damn, you’d better do your best,” Talon declared, fearing she’d not merely poked the bear, but did so with a branding iron. “Brace yourself, chimp.”
“Uh… how?” Thomas asked from the smooth, slippery, and gripless tunnel.
“Don’t know, but you’d better think of something,” Talon urged, falling back as her claws dug into the sheets. “Now!”
The five mares attacked as one, squishing their muzzles into the limited space between the griffon’s thighs as all vied for access to the best real estate. Tongues slurped and slapped over each other more than the wren, not that anyone minded. Silver found Honey’s saliva almost as tasty as Talon’s nectar, though she could get little of the latter with the larger mares’ broader tongues lapping up more than she could. Reaching the same conclusion, Moonlight pushed forward to forgo the griffon’s slit in favor of her clit. While using her mouth on all her lovers was just good manners, this was a contest, so her goal was to trigger an orgasm strong enough to eject the prize, and then snatch him up before another tongue could. By contrast, Honey took the lead with good old-fashioned earth pony strength, brute-forcing her way through Talon’s gates to plunder the fortress from the inside. Impressively, she got nothing but nectar, meaning the prize was deeper inside. When they realized her intent, Silver and Surprise tried directly competing with the green mare, but could not overcome the superior strength of the green mare’s oral muscle. That just left the fan favorite hovering along the outskirts, playing it smart by letting the competition wear itself out.
Talon could barely breathe or think, apart from wishing someone had had the sense to cast a breathing spell on her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had so many lustfully licking mares attack that single spot at once. Dog-piling was common in Celestia’s harem, with the victims arbitrarily picked based on whoever some felt hadn’t gotten theirs in a while. However, that attention was typically spread all over, so such concentration was a new and welcomed experience.
For Thomas, it was more of the same with being shrunken inside a griffon’s pussy. Talon’s long claws had already retracted, but that did not mean he was alone in the slick tunnel. The griffon’s moans mixed with other familiar grunts to inform him that company was fast approaching. And while the human could barely see his hand in front of his face, something about how the tunnel flexed told him they were near. Mare tongues competed for the opportunity to take him from one mouth and into another, but which one, and then what? Would the victor hold him in her maw and sensually sample his flavor? Would he taste good to them? At the very least, the winning mare would likely lick him to climax. Apparently, that part tasted quite nice for ponies. Then again, another possibility made the human’s pulse spike to a near-dangerous level, similar to his current predicament, but different in all the most extreme ways.
Meanwhile, as she read Talon’s body for when her orgasm was most likely due, Luna seized her opportunity. While the terms were simple and no rules had been stated, certain protocols were generally implied for these kinds of games. Luna could not merely use her magic to win the day. However, she grabbed Honey’s rear and sank her majestic fingers into the earth mare’s slit while her other hand also attacked Surprise’s wings, throwing both her most powerful adversaries off balance and clearing the way for her advance. Silver was little more than a speedbump, while Moonlight’s determination made her only slightly more of an obstacle. Soon, however, the largest mare’s oral lips kissed the griffon’s puffy pink pussy, enveloping them and monopolizing all access.
Of course, that didn’t stop the other mares from pressing their attack, regardless of their odds. They licked and nuzzled around Luna’s muzzle and Talon’s thighs, trying to pry the pair apart. When that didn’t work, they tried playing dirty. Honey sat up to grip the bases of the alicorn’s wings, Surprise extended her wing to brush the indigo mare’s feathers while reaching a hand low to mess with her teats, and Silver abandoned the contest entirely to crawl back and administer a similar kiss to her dream lover. That just left Moonlight to grip Luna’s horn base while licking along the shaft, never tearing her eyes from the sexual kiss below as she urgently awaited an opening.
Accosted on her most sensitive fronts, Luna moaned loudly into Talon’s vulva as she grabbed the griffon’s butt for greater leverage, plunging her tongue ever deeper into the moist hole. The wren shook and screeched under the indomitable penetration, but the alicorn pressed ever onward. She’d gone this deep before, but this time, Luna abandoned all pretense of doing this for Talon’s pleasure, which was merely a welcome bonus. No, she sought the prize within the creamy filling.
Unaware of the happenings outside, Thomas only knew the sounds of slurps had grown closer. Likely, one mare had pulled ahead of the others, and if he’d heard correctly, he knew who it was. However, the human was not content to merely wait for his next lover’s sensual embrace. Instead, the man twisted and writhed with greater vigor, stretching his limbs wherever the elastic walls would let him, unsure if he was digging himself out or deeper. Ultimately, it didn’t matter when he finally felt the convulsing walls compress just as something new touched him. Of course, he recognized the texture as a tongue, and even the breath smelled familiar amidst the rank vaginal walls. Thomas reached out, touching the slippery appendage, but couldn’t get a grip. Luckily, that also proved unnecessary as the tongue struck again, but with greater vigor in its probing. Curling like a dog drinking from a bowl, the oral appendage scooped up as much from Talon as it could, scraping along Thomas’ front and narrowly missing a solid grip.
Luna had better luck the next time, extending her tongue so its tip curled beneath the tiny human’s sex-flavored feet. Squealing with glee into the wren’s folds, she extracted her prize with all due haste, loving how his small form pressed against her taste buds. Closing her eyes, she could almost see his expression in her imagination, twisted in confused and carnal craving. He didn’t know what he wanted, but he wanted it badly. So, being a wise and knowing mare, Luna gave her man what his loins lusted for.
Except for the greater variety of textures and slightly less potent smell, the inside of Luna’s mouth wasn’t too different from the inside of Talon’s sex. Everything was dark, slippery, and lustful feminine moans reverberated around his puny form. However, the biggest difference asserted itself between Thomas’ legs, the tongue twisting from his naked butt, over his taint, and up his painfully erect cock. Luna tasted every part of him, turning his little body around her maw, but her focus remained on his male bits, which somehow seemed tastier than usual.
The others watched in envy as Luna sat tall, showing off her prize by pressing him against her cheeks. Their sexual attacks grew less bold as they watched, licking their lips as they longed for their turn. Luckily, Luna was a benevolent goddess in the bedroom—sometimes—and Surprise was the closest. She locked lips with the white mare and forcibly inserted her tongue. That was all well and ordinary, except Luna brought her prize with her, her tongue curled in a sturdy grip as she shared with her winged white lover. Impatient, the others seized upon the distraction by resuming their attack on the Princess’ sensitive bits, lustfully caressing the largest mare with their tongues and fingers while she did the same with Surprise. Unfortunately, Luna was also a cruel lover and withdrew before anyone could climax. She repeated the motion with Silver, Moonlight, and then Honey, torturously teasing the mares while pushing the human to the edge, only to toss them aside and start anew. Of course, the mares were incensed, but could do nothing but retake their places, worshipping the alicorn’s body in a semi-standing, mono-directional orgy. Only Talon was spared, still recovering from the extraction.
Thomas only got brief flashes of light between lip partings. He knew Luna had brought him between several mouths by the different smells and textures, but didn’t have long to tell who was who before moving on to the next one. It was an incredible experience, if a bit disorienting, yet he couldn’t take it any longer. The man tried reaching for his cock to jerk himself off, but Luna’s absurdly dexterous tongue kept batting his hands away. In all the confusion, he’d forgotten that he could speak. Besides, he didn’t have long to wait for an answer before Luna’s lips parted again, inviting a light beam into her maw and giving Thomas a clear view of a familiar beak.
Talon’s feathers bristled under Luna’s penetrating gaze. It didn’t take a genius to guess the alicorn’s intent as she repeatedly opened her mouth and granted glimpses at the prize inside. Finally, overcome with need, Talon parted her beak as wide as she was comfortable, as though waiting to accept a cock. Instead, the grinning mare closed the distance and deposited the treasured body within the griffon’s maw, angling his body so his tip jabbed at the wren’s taster.
Thomas’ body jerked as he came, exploding his minuscule load across both tongues as they danced around him in the griffon’s maw. Despite his mouthful of spit, Thomas still strained to regain his breath as the tongues continued accosting him, slurping and sucking him clean of every speck of flavor. He was barely conscious when open air finally stung his skin, his body aching in the best way possible after such a pleasurable workout. Eventually, Thomas could hold his eyes open long enough to see that he was in Luna’s palm as six pairs of peepers eyed him with varying emotions, but mostly a mix of adoration for something cute and covetous longing for a new sex toy. Ponies were so fucking weird, and he couldn’t wait to indulge them further.
Chapter 164: Player Two Enters the Shrink Zone (Clop)
Having six large ladies lusting over a little guy like Thomas seemed like a stretch at the best of times. However, when that little guy became even littler, it was clear that everyone had to be even more careful than usual. They wanted him. Galloping galaxies, did they want him! Talon still hadn’t recovered her breath, nor had she stopped moaning and smacking her beak regarding Thomas’ aftertaste. So, naturally, this left the others tremendously envious.
“Ah say we go back ta the suggestion box,” Honey proposed as she and the others sat in a semicircle on the bed around Luna. “At least that keeps things fair. Plus, there’s some things Ah’d like ta try.”
“I wouldn’t mind a do-over with sitting,” Moonlight embarrassedly admitted while staring at the young man resting in Luna’s palm. “This time, I won’t hesitate, and I’ll do it right.”
“You’ll grind him against your marehood?” Surprise blurted.
Moonlight pursed her lips and stared flatly at the white mare. “I was trying to be tactful, but yes.”
“Tactful-shmactful. You want a little person wriggling around in your naughty bits, the same as us. Stars above! That’s probably not even the naughtiest thing you want,” Surprise eloquently countered as she side-eyed the box. “In fact, now I’m curious.” And she reached for the cluster of papers, only to be lightly smacked by her fellow flyer’s tail.
“No spoilers,” Silver softly chided, attempting to maintain an air of control despite her grinding and fidgeting. Then, looking at Thomas, she added, “Given what you just endured, I would say that we have a better idea of what you can handle. So, since you are the focus, anyway, what is something that you would wish to try?”
Despite Luna’s hot breath mostly drying him, Thomas’ skin still stung a little from his recent moist excursion as he sat and thoughtfully stared down at his throbbing erection, which ached irritably. “Well, going in someone’s mouth was a lot less scary than I’d thought, and it’s also nice to know that I won’t be crushed.”
“Everybody always freaks about their first time in a mouth, so it helps to fuck ‘em senseless first,” Talon informed between labored breaths, still lying back with her legs spread most unladylike and showing off how wet she still was.
“Wait, there was a strategy in that?” Moonlight questioned, both alarmed and impressed.
“Hehe. Everybody likes the egg hole. Even if it’s just a low-quality imitation, like a foal hole—haha—first-timers find it waaay less intimidating than the scary smacker,” Talon explained, giggling like a stoner.
Thomas nodded. “Mmh-hmm. That makes sense… I think. Though, that doesn’t mean I’m not still a little freaked out. I trust you guys, but, I mean, look at you. You’re huge!”
That’s when Moonlight’s eyes widened, and the others could almost swear they saw a magic lantern blink above her head. “What if you weren’t alone? What if, hypothetically, you didn’t have to face so many large mares… by yourself?” She fidgeted as all eyes fell upon her, and meekly gestured to the box. “It, um, w-was one of my suggestions.”
Thomas licked his lips while staring intently at his orange love. “That, uh, i-is definitely something from shrink porn,” he admitted. “Most stories only have one tiny person, b-but I also liked it when there was more than one… together. Two hot chicks, but a guy and gal was also good.”
“Bodies intertwined in a lustful embrace, holding onto one another as anchors in a mighty storm of equally lewd-minded giants,” Luna said in reverent awe as her vision went distant. Then, snapping back to reality, she added, “I apologize. A previous concubine was quite the poet, and I thought his words fitting.”
Leaning closer to the indigo mare, Moonlight nodded so intensely that she appeared at risk of losing her head, making the others giggle.
“Thomas?” Luna inquired.
As Moonlight’s mighty stare fell upon him, Thomas hesitated, not because he didn’t like the idea, but because he liked it too much, and his imagination ran away with him for a second. Eventually, he blinked as though awakening from a dream and said, “Hell yeah!”
Before Moonlight could utter a word, she rose into the air, encased in Luna’s aura. Her limbs held steady in patient trust as she attuned herself to the spell and felt the matrix course through her body, building and solidifying its foundation in preparation for activation. She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath as the spell reached its crescendo, a flash of blinding light encasing her form. Then, exhaling, her own horn lit to mingle magic with Luna, which was as pleasingly tingly as ever. She felt how the magic had left its mark on her, almost like a brand, but not just the shrinking spell. All the same protections as Thomas intertwined through her being, granting a minor sense of invincibility. Then air rapidly washed across her skin as Luna levitated the unicorn to her new location.
Moonlight’s vision was still a little blurry when she finally opened her eyes as her hooves landed on a soft, solid surface. Blinking until her sight was restored, broad images settled into increasingly solid shapes, and then familiar silhouettes. Finally, she saw Thomas, now standing, as he stared at her in awe. It felt good to have him look at her like that, both his expression and penis so happy to see her. A part of Moonlight was also relieved to see her love finally restored to his proper, relative size. However, that part was short-lived when she noticed the shapes in the background.
By pony standards, Moonlight had never been tall. She was just south of being average, even among unicorns, so she was fairly accustomed to craning her head to look up. That became especially true after growing closer with Luna, yet none of that prepared her for just how immense her best friends now appeared. She knew they’d be big, but knowing and knowing were two very different things. Massive. Tremendous. Colossal. All these words felt like damnation through faint praise. Even in her immediate vicinity, Luna’s fingers appeared as long as the orange mare was tall. However, for some reason, Moonlight’s gaze lingered longest on their teats, making her feel small in too many ways to count, and leaving her emotions a turbulent mix of envy and desire. Even Silver’s chest, which she knew from experience to be pleasantly light, now appeared to wield a positively terrifying weight that crushed the unicorn’s imagination, to say nothing of the others, especially Luna. Moonlight was gob-smacked as insignificance swept over her, and she feared her quaking knees might give out. However, she was denied the chance.
Moonlight squeaked in mild shock when something impacted her front and wrapped around her back. Of course, she instantly recognized Thomas’s skin against her own. His face was buried in her teats, but she still sensed the desperation and urgency in his embrace. Her mare instinct to protect her stallion quickly overrode her initial intimidation as she returned the hug, finding solace as the shrunken pair made each other feel safe.
“Well, shoot. That’s so sweet, Ah think Ah jus’ got cavities,” Honey blurted with a giggle.
“And you kept them proportional, too,” Surprise observed. “Good. It’s cuter this way.”
“Perhaps, but I would not mind seeing Thomas as the tall one for a change,” Silver offered, leaning forward and lowering her face to be on level with the shrunken pair as her tail flagged high. “Though, I suspect we might first wish to try other things.”
“Hmm. As much as I would like to, I almost don’t want to disturb them,” Luna admitted with a pout as she regarded the tiny people standing in her steady hands. “Look at how they hold each other with such passion. I think I’d like to wake up to this sight every night.”
“‘Leste’s done that a few times,” Talon said, finally recovered enough to pull herself up and crawl to join the audience. “She’s got a little terrarium where she keeps volunteers for a few days.”
“Shit,” Thomas grunted, his voice coming through loud and clear despite his face still being buried in cleavage.
“What shit?” asked Moonlight, choosing to stare at her man’s messy brown hair instead of the massive mares open maws billowing the tiny pair with their hot breath.
“That’s another shrink thing: keeping the tiny person as a pet. You guys are checking off all the boxes,” Thomas explained, mildly amused and annoyed.
“I don’t know about the newbies, but it sounds like you and ‘Leste might have some overlapping interests,” Talon mischievously intoned. “Freaky little alien is just as perverted as an alicorn.”
“I assume that was meant as a compliment,” Luna warned.
“You know what they say about assumptions, oh wise one with the perfect ass,” Talon replied with a shit-eating grin.
“Also, not to derail things, but is it weird that there isn’t even a muffle when I speak?” Thomas cut in, still speaking into the unicorn’s cleavage.
Curious, Moonlight pressed her lips atop her man’s head as his hair tickled her nose. “Hello, hello. Testing, one two three.” Then she pulled away and concluded, “The spell is functional, but yes. Having a muffled voice is half the fun of being enveloped by a—what did you call it?—a BBW body?”
Equally curious, Surprise folded her arms under her breasts and buried her face between them. “Mine are the tits that will pierce the heavens!” her muffled voice proclaimed as she pulled free with an epiphany. “You’re right. That’s way more fun!”
“If I might be so bold,” Silver politely interjected. “I am far more concerned with Sir Moonlight’s physical prowess in this new state. After all, she is now the size of a toy, and toys are meant to be played with. Her voice is merely a bonus,” she explained with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.
“I disagree,” Surprise countered as she held her palm beside Luna’s and before the tinies. “Guys, help me prove a point.”
Thomas finally peeked out from the orange cleavage to stare between the mares. When Moonlight gave him a playful grin, he returned it, and the pair held their embrace while carefully trekking from one hand to the next. “This is silly, but I don’t want to stop.”
“I certainly won’t complain. Although, I wouldn’t mind if you got a stool or dictionary at some point,” Moonlight amended, gently pressing her knee between the man’s legs to emphasize how his erection slid against her inner thigh. The shrunken duo’s embrace tightened when Surprise brought them close to her heavy, heaving chest. Pink nipples stood in perked contrast to the white flesh as the pegasus continued pelting the pair with labored and excited breaths.
“You two ready to see what real teats can do?” Surprise intoned, her hand holding steady despite her jitters.
Thomas glanced between the pegasus and unicorn, half-expecting a ‘no offense’ or something to that effect. None came, yet Moonlight did not appear expectant or offended. Rather, her eyes were where his should be, transfixed upon the giant jugs about to consume them.
Without further ado, Surprise deposited the duo between her milkers before squeezing the masses together with her arms. She shivered and then said, “Whoa, tingly. Hey, can you guys hear me alright in there?”
“Yeah, we’re good,” Thomas answered, struggling to move within the mare’s soft and warm boob prison.
“Good? Good!? What makes you think any of this is good!?” Moonlight exclaimed as breast flesh pressed from all sides, hindering her efforts to flail. “It’s like we’ve been tucked into the world’s comfiest sheets that just came out of the dryer! Good is not good enough for what this is.”
Surprise’s grin almost split her face in two as she looked up at the others, almost daring them to argue, while they merely stared at her mamma-jammas with envy and longing. “Hehe, you’re so wiggly. It tickles.”
“Maybe you could lighten up on the pressure?” Thomas requested. The cramped space suddenly bounced, grinding his body against both Moonlight and Surprise’s jugs. The resultant friction was forceful, but not unpleasant as the biggest unintended boob job slid across the human’s cock. When things settled, the pressure had lightened, and Thomas could move a little easier.
“How’s that?”
Thomas tested his new confines by reaching what he believed to be up, only to grasp the inner boob walls and pull himself forward. “Holy shit, I’m climbing Mt. boob!”
“Nnngh, that’s gooood,” Surprise purred, rolling her shoulders to add to the sensation as both her shrunken lovers began crawling within their fleshy confines. “Hey, talk to me in there. Tell me how great my teats are.”
“I think I need to start using teat pillows more often,” Moonlight admitted, her limbs propelling her through the 2D plane as though swimming. “Though, that might not be enough. I need this velvet softness on my whole body! Oh-ho! Surprise, your fur keeps tickling me.”
“I’m not apologizing,” Surprise smugly stated.
“Neither am I.” Then, getting creative, Moonlight summoned her signature shield against her butt and used it to push her groin forward as she continued climbing, better grinding her leaking loins against the relatively long and stimulating hairs.
“Yup,” Thomas said in resignation. “I’m dreaming about swimming in a boob ocean. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but it’s coming.”
“You mean you haven’t had that dream yet?” Talon asked in disbelief. “Chimp, I’m disappointed.”
“As am I,” Luna added. “Have you not been using mine teats for bedding since almost the beginning? Why have I not inspired such a dream yet?”
Thomas laughed in the enclosed space where no light could reach, yet he did not feel afraid. Surprise’s thumping heart and occasional moaning titter did little to drown out the voices of his friends. In fact, their words and laughter compounded the warm softness of his boob prison, adding an all-around sense of comfort. “Says the lady who can literally shape dreams into whatever she wants and has been doing so with us for months. My brain is a random, jumbled mess. What’s your excuse?”
“He… has a point,” Silver allowed with an apologetic half-grin. “Even I had not conceived of a teat ocean as a valid concept.”
“We’re learnin’ so much tonight,” observed Honey as her left and right hands gripped her boob and Silver’s chest, respectively, testing their weight to better form an image in her mind’s eye while watching Surprise’s chest.
Guessing Honey’s intent, Silver gave no comment, and simply let the larger mare have her fun. Then, her gaze returned to Luna. Specifically, she focused on the breasts that competed with her sister for the envy of multiple nations. “Whether the teats or the plot, resting upon the body of an alicorn sounds increasingly appealing.”
“If you’d like, you can join them,” Luna offered, gesturing at Surprise’s tits.
“Hmm, tempting, but I think I would rather have a go at making my own point, if I may?”
“Hehe, sounds fun,” Surprise agreed as she ceased mashing her melons and inserted her hand into her cleavage, rummaging around a second before extracting the shrunken pair. “So, how are you two?”
“I only came twice, b-but my body is tingling like it’s been more than ten,” Moonlight admitted as she lay prone on the white mare’s palm.
“J-just once, but I think I’ve got a better resistance,” Thomas countered as he sat up. Blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light and looking up at Silver, the man realized his peepers were in for a lot more stress than usual, yet he found it difficult to feel bothered as the massive gray orbs neared. Silver’s nipples were a dark gray against her comparatively light fur, yet somehow looked more erect than Surprise had been. The relatively smaller size only made the apples slightly less intimidating than the melons. At least, they appeared less overwhelming as they neared, only for the human to look up when something cast a shadow from above.
“My bra? But why?” Silver asked as her sports bra hovered before her, held in Luna’s magic.
“I thought these might help hold our little ones in place while we play,” Luna informed as additional bras levitated down for the others.
With an appreciative nod, Silver donned the simple garb that held her girls in place without feeling restricted. Beaming, she held out her hand for a winded Moonlight to hobble over with Thomas’ support. “Well, if you are ready, then I will enjoy reminding you that quality is about more than size,” she smugly boasted before slipping the pair between her apples. A shiver visibly shot up her spine upon contact, but momentum had already carried her hand too far forward to stop. When it did, the little ones started moving. A hoof or hand pressing inside her cleavage was like a finger gently teasing her to excitement. The mare bit her bottom lip as she brought both hands to her covered breasts, cupping them and rolling the chest mounds to test how her little lovers felt. The short answer was that if she wasn’t wet before, this would have done it.
“Oh! Ohhh-ho! Th-that is… Woah!” Silver swallowed. Thankfully, Luna levitated in a glass of water for her, which the bat mare instantly downed. “S-Surprise,” she began again, trying to regain her standard stoic demeanor. “D-did you feel when Sir Thomas was—?”
“Hard like a rock and trying to stab me with his little dagger,” answered the chipper pegasus. “Nah. And I didn’t notice how Moonlight’s nipples seemed harder than usual, either. Nope. It was exactly as boring as you imagine.”
“That good, huh?” Talon remarked as she adjusted her bra in anticipation of her turn. “So, is it that good?” she asked the bat mare.
Silver struggled to maintain good posture as her torso writhed and her hands held her boobs in a seeming vice grip. “I… I-I can… Th-they are—Agh!”
Honey whistled as she tested the bra’s fortitude against her melons. “Ah don’t reckon they can move much with ya clampin’ down like that.”
“Th-that is the point,” Silver strained to say. “Th-they are t-too g-good. I-I have t-to… Ngh. Agh!”
Meanwhile, it didn’t take long for Thomas and Moonlight to realize the effect they had on Silver, and it took even less time for them to abuse this power. The bat mare kept changing the pressure angle, yet Thomas managed to pop free into the bra cup. Then, with soft fabric on his back and soft boob flesh to his front, the human crawled in the dim light to the rubbery areola, where he viciously ravaged the pink nub with his hands and teeth. The man rubbed his arms around the nipple like he wanted to hug a beanbag. Silver’s voice climbed in pitch when he stabbed his erection against the coarse surface, so he did that a lot more, too.
Alas, Moonlight could only squeeze a single leg out into the open air. How Silver didn’t prick herself on the unicorn’s thorn of a horn was a welcome present from the magical wards, but it was still annoying to have so much less wiggle room than previously. Then, the orange mare remembered the other spell. “Could you lay off the pressure a tad? I think I finally get what I did wrong with sitting on Thomas now.” It still felt awkward to speak so clearly while her jaw was mostly clamped shut by boob flesh. However, the unicorn had adjusted to weirder, so this shouldn’t be a big deal.
Silver simply stammered a string of incoherent grunts and moans that almost sounded like words sometimes as she continued thrashing, a victim of her own pride and perverted ambitions. Finally, biting her bottom lip, she attempted to follow Moonlight’s request. Her efforts were fast rewarded when the little unicorn wiggled free with a gasp, now only submerged only from the waist down in boob flesh.
“That has no business bein’ so darn cute,” Honey declared as she glowered in accusation at her shrunken lover. Needing something to do with her hands, the working mare blindly fumbled the immediate area to her side without tearing her eyes away from the captivating sight. Then, upon finding a suitable grip, she immediately threw herself at Luna’s side, reaching under the larger mare’s top to have her fun. Specifically, she wedged one hand between the massive teats while her other hand pressed from the side, trying to simulate what it might be like to be squeezed between such beauties.
“Agh, k-keep going,” Silver begged, sounding a bit more in control despite her building arousal. If only she was coherent enough to ask someone to attend her marehood while her hands were busy. “I-I love how you feel in th-ERE!” Her spine arched when long and coarse avian talons slipped between her legs while a toned abdomen and ample chest mashed against her back, causing her wings to snap open.
“You’re not the only one who gets to have fun with this one,” Talon whispered into Silver’s ear while locking eyes with Moonlight.
The unicorn nodded and, after locating Thomas, focused her magic on Silver’s other nipple. The target was larger and farther than she was used to, not to mention being concealed within the bra, making things more of a challenge. However, once her aura finished getting its bearings, Moonlight unintentionally mirrored Thomas’ actions as she imagined hugging the nipple. Although, instead of a beanbag, she envisioned Luna’s plot.
Silver gave one final cry before collapsing into Talon’s arms, her wings and other extremities falling limp.
“Chh, lightweight,” Talon scoffed as her predator claws fished the shrunken pair from the bat mare’s bra. “You two really did a number on this one.”
Struggling to sit up, it was impossible for Thomas to stop grinning as he beheld Silver’s exhausted, blissed-out state. If this wasn’t living, breathing evidence of his masculine prowess, then nothing was. “Whoa, being tiny is more powerful than I thought.”
Moonlight had a similar mindset while lying on her belly. “Yes, but I fear it’s a double-edged sword,” she noted while gazing behind her to check something. “Yup, I can’t move my legs.”
“Ha!” Talon cawed. “Ya know, being tiny doesn’t actually give you an excuse for being a lightweight, either.”
Thomas rolled his eyes. “Okay, that’s just not fair. You’re saying we’re not allowed to get tired after screwing a literal giant?”
Talon shook her head while using her free hand to gently lay Silver on the sheets. “Never settle, chimp. Even if this is the best job ever, it’s still a job, which means settling for the bare minimum isn’t allowed. You’ve got to work your damnedest every day to fulfill your goal, which is to make this whorse squeal like a bitch in heat,” she said while pointing at Luna. “Sure, you can get tired, but you gotta work past it, get stronger, and one day, make that mare so enamored with you that you can finish her with a flick.”
Thomas blinked as he considered the wren’s inspiring words. She was right, after all. Satisfying Luna was his job, and pleasing the other concubines was an extension of his duties. Of course, he knew all that stuff about working hard, so much so that he felt mildly insulted that Talon thought he needed reminding. Obviously, Thomas planned to continue practicing, as pleasing the ladies was its own reward. However, Talon’s expression was expectant, so he decided he owed her his most honest, smartass reply. “That sounds boring. Half the fun is in the buildup, and I wouldn’t want to give that up just for a flick. So, even if my legs don’t really work right now, I kind of like feeling the burn. Actually, no. I’m proud cuz it shows how hard I had to work to accomplish what I did,” he concluded by gesturing at Silver’s silly smile.
Talon blinked. “Well… damn. Ya got me there. This is the guy you’ve got running your harem, Moonbutt. You alright with that?” she asked while turning her hand so her passengers faced the alicorn.
Luna had both hands covering her snoot, her watering eyes rapidly blinking as though on the verge of tears. Surprise and Honey looked equally touched, and even Silver’s goofy grin grew a little. Thomas then checked on Moonlight, who looked frustrated that she couldn’t jump him right then and there.
“Jerk, ya made the poor thing cry,” Talon chided while giving a look to Luna. “Now I gotta punish you. And Moony, since you can’t keep your stallion from flapping his yap, you need to learn a lesson, too.”
“I regret nothing,” Moonlight replied softly, grinning in a challenge as Luna levitated water out of the glass in amorphous globs for the shrunken pair to drink. “That’s just how my stallion is.”
Despite feeling the refreshingly cool liquid wash down his throat and rejuvenate his body, Thomas had no time to appreciate the mare’s words before Talon got to work depositing each shrunken figure into her bra cups. As the resident veteran of shrink-play, the griffon positioned the pair perfectly against each nipple. Then, once satisfied, she slapped her claws atop the cups to begin kneading. She purred like a lion as her lovers got to work.
“Ngh, yeah. Use your whole body like that. Oh! The licking’s nice, but don’t forget to grind that monkey dick. Same goes for them teats, filly, and remember to take some time for yourselves. We should all be getting off here,” Talon instructed while brazenly fondling herself, mindful of her audience.
Honey whistled. “Yer good at this.”
“Was there ever any doubt?” Talon smugly challenged while flaunting her covered chest, growing more elaborate with her rolling motions to increase her stimulation. “And what about you guys? Having fun in there?”
From inside, Thomas and Moonlight were too focused on their tasks to listen. The bra had done more than merely hold their bodies in place, capturing the smell of boob sweat to amplify the already arousing experience. At least they’d taken the griffon’s prior advice to divert a little attention to themselves. While wrapping himself around the nipple, licking and nibbling atop the rubbery surface, Thomas also ground his rejuvenated erection into the flesh. Angling to penetrate the nipple was too difficult from this position, so he settled for humping. Regardless, the smell, lewd noises from his griffon lover, and the mere knowledge of where he sat was more than enough to help him reach another climax, not that just one was enough for either of them as he readied to spray a second load over the nipple. The same went for Moonlight as she ground her slit against the erect nub. The added pressure to her already sensitive breasts more than doubled her stimulation as she eagerly licked the salty flesh. And for both tinies, the claws gripping their backs showed remarkable expertise in how the palms almost matched the pair’s respective rhythms, driving each thrust deeper than they could manage on their own.
“Shoot,” Honey glumly huffed after Luna had whispered Talon’s actions in her ear. “How am Ah supposed ta follow an act like that?”
“Like this,” Talon began. With the deft hands of one removing a tablecloth without disturbing the tableware, the griffon pulled up her bra without letting the tinies drop. Then, using one arm to hold the little ones in place, her other hand reached for Honey’s covering to do the same, letting the massive melons flop out with fleshy smacks. Caught off guard, the green mare had no time to react before Talon lunged for her, smashing their breasts together.
“Agh, buck me!” Honey cried as her avian lover pushed her onto her back.
“That’s the idea, apple picker.” Sitting atop the earth mare’s sculpted abdominals, Talon grabbed the green globes, squeezing like she intended to milk her friend. Instead, she aimed the equine nipples at hers, effectively pinning her shrunken living pasties between two pairs of boobs. “Ngh, this would feel good even without the little ones,” Talon purred as sparks flew in her nervous system. The wren leveraged her weight to further grind her girls against Honey, causing the squished tits to sway under the griffon’s control.
As expected, it didn’t take long for the earth mare to recover enough to resent being the bottom, so she grabbed the griffon’s head and pulled her beak into a forceful and steamy kiss. Honey’s tongue danced freely within Talon’s mouth until it found a partner. The oral appendages then intertwined, paying no mind to the beak’s sharpness while Talon retained control over the boobs. Thusly, Honey launched another attack on the griffon’s rump, firmly kneading the fuzzy cheeks and occasionally teasing a finger against the feline pucker. Talon retaliated by tickling her tail plume against the gushing marehood.
Meanwhile, the tinies had a hard time discerning which way was up. Whether from the back or front, tremendous nipples stabbed into them. The meager light from the bra had been replaced with near-total darkness, with only fleeting glimpses into the world outside. Of course, that mattered little to the horny pair, as Honey’s added musk multiplied their arousal. Being squished between twin pairs of massive melons made it difficult to maintain their prior rhythm, and even harder to keep track of how many times they’d climaxed since the pincer attack began. Thomas was the first to surrender to his new role as a mere object, rather than an agent in this lustful exercise. The nipples and areolas rolled him around at their leisure, yet the great masses somehow seemed to target his groin with focused stimulation. Then again, that may have just been the human’s imagination, as what guy didn’t get a bit loopy when receiving a double boob job? Moonlight fared no better under the mashing mammaries squishing her erogenous zones to no end. She never realized she enjoyed rough play this much, but that may have just been a side effect of the shrinking. She’d have to investigate with Thomas in private once everything was back to normal and she was coherent enough to count past her fingers.
After a short but fierce lovemaking session, Talon and Honey screamed into each other’s mouths as they orgasmed. Even as they came down and the wren’s love juices pooled over the earth mare’s abs, Talon continued kneading the giant jugs against hers, if in a gentler rhythm. It seemed the tinies hadn’t picked up that their users had climaxed and continued flailing, their shrunken bodies adding exquisite stimulation to overly sensitive nipples. Talon broke the kiss and stared deeply into Honey’s eyes as her kneading continued, and the pair shared an understanding of the power they held over their more miniature mates. The griffon and earth mare could do whatever they liked, even something terrible, yet such thoughts barely crossed their minds when there were so many more preferable options.
“Ahem,” came a polite throat clearing.
Talon rolled her eyes before spying Luna, fidgeting in anticipation of her turn. “Ya need something? We’re kinda busy over here,” she explained to Honey’s snicker.
“You know what I crave,” Luna needfully replied, both hands between her fidgeting thighs as her folded wings twitched with enough tension to break something once they finally sprang open.
“Ugh, fine,” Talon said with mock annoyance as she sat up and finally extricated the pair. She smiled as they winced from the sudden light influx, and watched as though she could almost see the gears turning in their heads, confirming that this turn was over. “If it means so much to you, I guess I can share. Just water ‘em first.”
“Gladly,” agreed Luna as she accepted the offered treasure and used her magic accordingly. “Look at you,” she said while watching the precious pair drink and recover. “So small, yet so strong. Your strength of will far outpaces your fragile appearances.”
“Shit, that was almost a Phil Collins song,” Thomas thoughtlessly blurted. “Heh, I guess being squished under giant boobs damaged my filter, cuz I don’t give a fuck what happens next,” he said while grinning in challenge at the amazon-turned-giant.
“Might this be a side effect of your shrunken state?” Luna questioned before glancing at the resident expert.
Talon shrugged. “Buck, if I know. Maybe the chimp’s little dog syndrome is acting up? Just keep your magic on him and give that shorty what he deserves.”
Nodding at the proposal, Luna gave the pair a bit more water to make doubly sure they were ready for her plan. “There, can you both stand?”
Thomas climbed to his feet first, and offered his arm when Moonlight struggled to put weight on her knees. Once the pair returned to their feet and hooves, respectively, their height difference was made apparent by how close they stood. They stared into one another’s eyes like it was the first time. Their fascination spread with their hands as they explored one another’s bodies, both incredibly sensitive and tingly from their recent orgasms. Of course, neither minded the wet stickiness around their groins, nor did they pay particular attention to how close Thomas’ erection was to Moonlight’s marehood. The softness of her fur and the tension of his breathing were far more interesting. That is, until Thomas looked beyond one pretty mare’s face to a much larger one behind hers, and laughed as he came back down to reality.
“Did you two just get lost in each other’s eyes?” Talon asked, leaning forward and supporting herself on her hands with the other mares in equally anticipatory poses beside her, all restored with Luna’s aide.
“Uh, I think so,” Moonlight admitted, just as awed as the rest.
“I can never leave the harem,” Silver blurted her epiphany. She knew that many ponies left their positions as concubines for one reason or another, and while she’d often told herself that she’d stay committed to Luna to her dying breath, this sealed the deal. Her beloved, shrunken friends just shared such a tender moment in their break between hot and harrowing lovemaking. “Truly, nothing outside the harem could ever compare to what is borderline standard within your divine presence, my love,” she said while glancing briefly at Luna before fixing her attention back on the lovebirds. “I will never get bored of this.”
“Hey, don’t pressure them,” Surprise gently chided. “I mean, that’s kinda what we’ve been doing this whole time with our teats and all,” she amended while juggling her jugs. “But don’t give them performance anxiety, or it won’t be as fun to watch.”
Honey chuckled at the white mare’s accidental hypocrisy.
“You assume you’ll be mere watchers?” Luna intoned in warning as her magic lit and engulfed the shrunken pair in her glow. Identical auras then appeared, not only between the other concubine’s breasts, but between their legs, including hers, causing all eyes to widen in anxious confusion or anticipatory expectation. Then, grinning, Luna instructed, “Thomas, I want you to make love to the harem through Moonlight while between my teats. And Moonlight, I trust you won’t mind sharing your marehood?”
The orange mare shook her head while continuing to hold Thomas. “I assume they’ll also feel us between your teats?” Then, at Luna’s nod, she replied, “I only regret not thinking of that for the suggestion box.”
Without further ado, Luna deposited the shrunken pair between her prize-winning melons, and let the literal magic do its thing. The reactions were immediate as the wren and other mares jumped from the sensations between their breasts. Honey and Talon squeezed their knockers together, while Surprise and Silver took a second look to ensure nothing was there. Indeed, no physical matter existed between the boobies, only the phantom sensation from the tingling magic connecting everyone. The ladies moaned, chuckled, grunted, and purred, respectively, as they experienced two shrunken people wiggling between their tits all over again, but even more intense than before. Either Luna did something to enhance the shared sensations, or she was just that overly sensitive, and everyone else got to ride that wave.
Meanwhile, in the deepest depths of darkness herself, Moonlight didn’t waste time. Even in the compact space between the mare melons, the unicorn still grabbed Thomas’ appreciably toned buttocks and yanked him forward. The penetration was immediate, followed by a long and hot exhale against her teats. She hadn’t had her shrunken stallion between her utters yet, but right now, she couldn’t imagine desiring anything other than his face, which she imagined adorably scrunched in pleasure as her body enveloped as much of him as it could.
Moonlight’s body nearly monopolized Thomas’ attention, yet it remained impossible to ignore Luna’s vast breast flesh against his back, arms, and legs. Regardless, the gentle softness stretched to ridiculous proportions and remained comfortingly familiar, rather than alien and suffocating. The man’s breathing grew quick with grunts as his mare’s pussy dripped onto his balls. She was so fucking wet that he forgot to say as much. Instead, he buried his face in the orange cleavage, teeth bared as he began thrusting. Somehow, even as Luna’s heartbeat thundered around him, the human still detected the faint wet squelching and feminine squeaks from the unicorn, for which he was grateful. Thomas loved making his ladies moan, and while intrusive thoughts occasionally asserted they were just putting on an act to be nice, it was hard to believe that anyone could be a good enough actor to fake anything when squished between giant boobs. Moonlight was as wet as a waterfall, and she needed a good dicking. That much was beyond dispute.
It certainly held true for the others as Luna’s magic spread their sexes and penetrated with Thomas’ proportional length and girth. Their pussies quivered after so many orgasms with no or lesser penetration, so having a real (enough) male member was more than welcome. All six mares, including Luna, moaned in time with Thomas’ thrusts. While the biggest mare kept busy maintaining her magic and mashing her melons, the others needed alternate outlets, which they found in each other. Talon and Surprise embraced tightly, like they wanted to crush the arousing tingle between their sternums, but only succeeded in haphazardly flopping their boobs around one another. Upon seeing this, Silver threw herself at Luna, pulling the larger mare’s bra down to hungrily latch onto the dark nipple. The small bat mare purred like a cat as she tried drawing out milk while kneeing the Princess’ slit. Finally, not to be left out, Honey pried Talon and Surprise apart to wedge her titanic titties into the tiff, creating a triple-boob sandwich. Fingers joined the magic in massaging their sexes while wings and tails tickled one another’s butts. They timed their finger thrusting to match Thomas, enhancing the sensations brought by Luna’s magic. Likewise, using Silver’s assistance to attend her teat, Luna freed one hand to penetrate the bat mare’s booty up to her middle finger’s base.
Moonlight’s voice was nearest, and Luna’s cries boomed and rumbled through the man’s bones, but Thomas heard them all. His six ladies—the boss, his four coworkers, and the part-timer—they all screamed as he ramped up his efforts with his unicorn. Moonlight and her delicious pussy belonged to him, just as the others did with him, and he with them. That’s how things worked in Equestria, bizarre as it was. Thomas’ thrusting into Moonlight elicited cries of ecstasy from everyone, and to call it fantastic would be an understatement. Each pump from his hips seemingly sent tremors straight through Moonlight and into the surrounding boob chasm. He wanted to say something, to voice his love and gratitude for this amazing opportunity, but his grunts were just as incoherent as the rest. Fuck, Moonlight’s pussy was too fucking good!
Did Luna say anything about making the connection a two-way so he could feel everyone else’s sexes? Moonlight’s vagina certainly didn’t feel different from usual. Whatever. Pummeling his penis into one amazing mare was more than enough for a lucky bastard like him. He could be content with knowing he pleasured the others without getting anything more in return, save for their exquisite moans from his actions. That was all Thomas needed to boost his ego and tickle his libido as he rammed hit after hit into the wet cavern amidst the fleshy walls. Luna’s perspiration added a tad more stickiness to her fur, which clung a little to the tiny man’s body, but not enough to hamper his efforts. It was just enough to remind him of his location in the highly unlikely event that he forgot. Luna, Moonlight, and all ponies—wait, what about Talon?—Equestrians? No, fuck it. Everyone in this world was incredible. That was Thomas’ thought as one final thrust pushed him to hit Moonlight’s cervix, making her vaginal walls clench and triggering a simultaneous orgasm.
Outside Luna’s room, even with every reasonable protection in place to preserve the Princess’ privacy, the guards blushed. They hadn’t heard, smelled, or even felt any tremors from beyond the doors, yet their bodies still reacted as though they had, and they shared a knowing look, agonizing over the rules forbidding them from inquiring further. Such was on a need-to-know basis, after all.
Meanwhile, back inside the den of sin, ladies lay in one another’s arms, breasts of all sizes heaving with labored breaths. Luna’s magic had done nothing to dampen the orgasm’s impact. If anything, the connection through Luna might have accidentally caused a brief feedback loop, multiplying the intensity exponentially. Even Luna needed a break after that. Of course, she was inevitably the first to recover, but as the dark-furred mare sat up, a hand at the ready to catch her shrunken lovers should they slip, she looked upon the forms of her spent lovers and felt her libido satiated. Instead of gathering stimulants and pressuring the least exhausted into another round or two, the alicorn felt a more pressing desire for cuddles. So, she levitated all the bodies on the bed upon and beside her. Silver kept her perch on the Princess’ tummy while the others reflexively made themselves comfortable beside her. Her fur’s softness and smell had that impact on drained concubines.
Finally, the Princess turned her attention to the unseen pair between her girls. Specifically, she scanned Thomas, and was grateful for detecting no abnormalities. His pulse, blood pressure, and everything else were all normal after this level of exertion. Moonlight and the others were also fine. So, this endeavor to momentarily fuck away their troubles was a rousing success.
“You know, it’s funny,” Moonlight mused as she eyed the corridor and the ponies milling about their business. She endeavored to not look down to avoid drawing unnecessary attention, even knowing such an exercise was pointless. However, she remained at attention, nodding and saluting as needed as she pretended to patrol.
“What’s funny?” Thomas asked from his cozy perch, also watching the world and pedestrians go by.
“You can tell the security risk is low because of how few stallion guards are wearing their chest pieces. The mares still have to wear theirs to keep their jiggly parts in place, and both sexes now have to cover their groins, but the stallions get to go around bare-chested.
“Humans would call that male privilege,” Thomas joked.
“Well, it fits. I never realized how much I appreciated a modest breeze over my nipples until I started going hours without. Curse these males and their natural physiology working to their advantage,” Moonlight playfully swore while facing a stallion guard, beaming with mischievous glee that he hadn’t heard a word she’d said as they shared a respectful nod. It had only been a few minutes, and the temptation to abuse this power had already gotten to her head.
“Having guards wear different levels of armor seems like kind of a risk, though,” Thomas pondered. “If there really was a threat, you’d let on that you’re aware, making them more careful.”
“The rule is experimental and only applies in noncritical areas,” Jet informed, less obvious in her amusement at talking freely without notice as she followed beside Moonlight. As far as everypony else was concerned, she and the orange unicorn were nothing but ordinary night guards on some nondescript patrol. Although, anypony recognizing Moonlight was more likely to assume she was on harem business, whatever that might entail. “But, you’re right. Such a practice would pose a serious risk if there were a genuine threat. Would you say you have a tactical mind?”
“Not really,” Thomas admitted.
“Interesting. Most ponies would need a cutie mark related to tactics to have realized that issue so quickly,” Jet informed.
“Well, it just seems kind of obvious to me,” Thomas replied, wiggling between his cozy holders to get comfy. Also, moving for its own sake in his current environment just felt nice. Then, eyeing a stallion who’d chosen to wear armor over his chest, the human elaborated, “I know that feudal systems have multiple nobel families control their own armies. For humans, modern military is about unifying all soldiers as a single force. You’re loyal to your immediate commander, but you could get shuffled to the other side of the country at a moment’s notice and answer to a whole new set of guys, and you’d be expected to obey their orders the same way.”
“Equestria has been transitioning to that kind of system for the last few years,” replied Moonlight. “Some of the more stubborn nobles are still holding out, but their forces are dwindling all the time, so it won’t be long before we’ve got our own unifying force.”
“Except for the night and day guards,” corrected Thomas.
Moonlight scoffed. “That’s just the Canterlot royal guard. A lot of what we do is for ceremony and tradition. We stand around and guard hallways because guards have always done that.”
“Indeed, and such traditions are important,” agreed Jet. “However, I’ve heard rumors of tension sparking with other divisions. Apparently, they view the royal guard as out-of-date and lacking in more modern training practices.” Some divisions like mine, for instance, Jet thought.
Moonlight puttered her lips. “It’s easy to say that in times of peace. And, not that I’m hoping anything bad happens, but if it does, I’d like to see what they say about us after the Canterlot royal guard handles a real foe,” she boasted. “Right, Thomas? …Thomas? Why aren’t you saying anything?”
Even facing forward, the human averted his gaze as the tall mare bore down upon him. Her breath was hot as it pelted his back, smelling vaguely of pancakes.
“Thomas, what aren’t you telling me?”
“Is this an Oracle matter?” inquired Jet.
“… yes.”
“Classified?”
“Uh, not really. You already know some of the attacks coming, and I told the rest to Luna. It’s just the guards that, um… How do I put this?” Thomas asked himself. “Well, no point in sugarcoating it. The royal guard is kind of a joke for how often they’re basically swept aside by whatever bad guys decide to show up and ruin everyone’s day.”
Moonlight blinked, dumbfounded. “You can’t be serious.”
“As serious as the world turning into an abstract painting, or an invasion of bug monsters that feed on emotion.”
Jet also blinked. “To be clear, you’ve already warned the Princesses about these incidents, yes?”
“Yeah, they know, and they said they’re prepping for that and more,” Thomas confirmed. “I mentioned that it seems like a lot of old foes are coming out of the woodwork, and Luna said they’ve got special squads running—” Thomas cut himself short after taking a closer look at Jet. “Okay, now we’re getting into the classified stuff.”
“My apologies,” Jet said with a bow.
“Long story short, bad guys come in, trample stuff, and make the guards look like a joke before a certain six mares swoop in to save the day, except for those few times when they don’t,” he suggestively added. It seemed unlikely that Jet was a changeling in disguise, but it was probably wise not to divulge everything. Besides, he hadn’t lied, so he hoped she’d get the point and dropped the issue.
Jet nodded. “Understood. Onto a different matter, if you’ll permit me, might I ask how you’re faring?” she asked while glancing down at Moonlight’s open top.
Thomas had been resting comfortably in Moonlight’s low-cut white shirt since they’d left Luna’s room that morning, the unicorn’s boobs snugly holding the shrunken man in place, thanks to the bra. The mare’s mammaries enveloped everything below his armpits, leaving his arms to rest comfortably on either mound as his hands casually studied her fur’s texture from this new perspective. Since it seemed like too much trouble to make a new loincloth for his size, and because Moonlight had pleaded, Thomas acquiesced at the suggestion to go naked, with nothing but a pair of giant orange boobs to shield his shameless shlong.
At least Thomas didn’t have a boner right now. Moonlight had given him her usual morning oral service, both to maintain a sense of normalcy, and because she was a horny minx. It had been awkward figuring things out, even if the mare’s soft lips enveloping much of the man’s front felt rather nice for both parties. Ultimately, they made it work before the mare donned a glamour Luna had custom-ordered for this precise circumstance. Essentially, in addition to changing the user’s outward appearance, it created audio illusions whenever Moonlight spoke to or acknowledged Thomas, ensuring that everything about him went unnoticed. Only those already aware of the human’s presence could see through the deception, which was necessary for Jet’s duty.
“I’m doing well,” Thomas replied while idly tapping his hands atop the boob bongos. “As well as I can under the circumstances. Though, I’ve gotta ask. I don’t know much about magic, but the way Luna described the glamour made it sound a lot trickier than what we usually do. Is it normal to get something like that made so quickly, or am I overthinking things?”
“I’d assumed the artisans just reused the template from when Celestia played with size,” Moonlight offered.
Thomas blinked. “Okay, thinking about it, that makes sense. Hmm, makes you wonder if whenever her concubines are doing stuff outside her room, they’re really just being secret exhibitionists.”
“Now I suspect you are overthinking things,” Jet politely chided.
“Maybe, but the possibility exists,” Thomas countered. “If Celestia does this stuff enough that they kept the template to save time, who knows what else those guys might be doing without anyone suspecting a thing. They could be hiding tiny people on their bodies, wearing outfits that even ponies would call inappropriate, or literally anything else. On that note, what would a pony-inappropriate outfit look like?”
“A tutu at a funeral?” Jet suggested.
“No, I mean—never mind.” Even if no one else could hear, asking about fetish stuff in this less-than-private hall was too embarrassing for the shrunken naked man being held between an anthro unicorn’s tits… Jesus, my life is weird! Speaking of which, he used his arms on the boobs to twist his body into a more comfortable position, causing Moonlight to softly squeak. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m getting used to it,” Moonlight mused with a faint blush.
“Me too, and that’s what scares me,” Thomas admitted. “Once we get used to this as normal, won’t we eventually have to try more wild things to feel the same excitement?”
“Well, if you’re so worried, maybe we can change things up for variety, but I don’t see why we’d need to get more wild if we don’t want to,” Moonlight offered.
“This might be a human thing, but I read that it’s dangerous to indulge in extremes too much because, like I said, you eventually get bored and have to keep escalating to get the same thrill.” Recalling another troubling detail he’d heard but never verified, Thomas pursed his lips. “That’s also a problem with being a porn star. You get so used to super wild stuff that regular intercourse just doesn’t do it for you anymore.”
Rather than briefly glancing, Moonlight pulled her head back to stare as fully as she could at her booby passenger. The position was awkward and slightly painful, so she had to turn her snoot to the side for a better look at the concerning creature. “That sounds dangerous. Have we been putting you at risk this whole time? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Well, for one thing, you girls are hot, and it’s a lot of fun doing it with you,” Thomas replied, turning a nonchalant smirk up at the bemused unicorn. “For another, this is probably different. Porn stars just do it with coworkers, but you guys are my friends and… girlfriends? Friends-with-benefits kind of has a stigma to it, so I’m not too sure what you’d call this,” he explained while gesturing vaguely at the breasts stretching out before him like massive marshmallows.
“What kind of stigma could friends-with-benefits have?” Moonlight inquired, somewhat impatient at her stallion’s usual evasiveness after such a troubling revelation. “And what do you mean by benefits?”
“The human context is people who have sex, but aren’t in a committed relationship. They hang out just to screw like some friends hang out just to talk sports or whatever. It’s nothing personal, but that’s not how I view you guys,” Thomas explained, having difficulty translating his jumbled feelings and thoughts into words. “Hmm, ponies are naturally polyamorous, right? Like, it’s not just a cultural thing? You’ve got a natural inclination to be this way, and there’s, like, scientific literature for why this is the best way for you to be?”
Moonlight nodded as she thought back to her experiences in Thomas’ dreams. “Yes. Ponies have always formed families in herds, and there’s no set limit on the number of members as with humans. There’s also plenty of literature for why we’ve been this way since before the Wendigoes, and we get the occasional activist group championing the sanctity of the institution.”
Thomas nodded back, still looking up. “Well, humans are naturally monogamous… sort of. We still have the instinct to—” he paused to rethink. “Well, males have the compulsion to mate with as many females as we can, but pretty much every culture on the planet has agreed for the last few thousand years that one husband to one wife should be the standard, with only the super-rich being the exception.”
“You have conflicting instincts?” Jet observed.
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Thomas agreed with a morbid chuckle, turning his head the other way to include the bat mare in the discussion. “The point is I have no idea what the hell I’m doing or if there’ll be any problems later on. Everything’s got unintended consequences if you think about it, but I don’t know if I’m at any kind of extreme that might be a risk later.”
Moonlight glanced briefly at Jet. Asking her to simply step back so she could have some privacy with Thomas would be pointless, as they’d need to be in separate rooms to escape the bat mare’s hearing. This seemed like too important of a conversation to include a pony who was only this close because of an obligation, and not genuine closeness. Besides, the others would probably want to be in on this, too, so she really ought to wait until they’d gathered back in Luna’s chamber. However, feeling the need to say something now, Moonlight decided to simply go for it. So, she tapped the glamour to amplify its censorship, hurried along until she found a suitably secluded spot, and gestured for Jet to take a few courteous steps back for Thomas’ sake before unloading.
“I like having sex with you. I don’t want you to feel pressured, but that’s the truth. I love sitting together, talking about whatever, and doing just anything, really,” Moonlight began. “That’s what it means when a mare says a stallion is her stallion. She’s met a guy who she enjoys being with for a bunch of reasons, and she wants to keep being with him forever. And, because it’s relevant, one of those reasons is sex. You don’t talk enough about your feelings as you probably ought to, so I’ll lead by example and say that I’m comfortable enough in our relationship to say that Luna is better at sex than you.”
Thomas snorted in surprise, cracking his grim expression. “Okay, not where I was expecting that to go, but yeah. I can see that,” he allowed.
“However, if given a choice, I’d still rather wake up with you in my bed,” Moonlight continued, noting how Jet turned away some snoopers before they got too close. “I love you, Thomas. I love having sex with you, but if having sex is hurting you in any way, then I’m prepared to live without it.”
“Hey, wo-wo-wo! Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Thomas countered. “I only said that too much sex or this extreme”— he gestured at himself—“stuff might be risky. I can’t think of a serious scientific study that’s ever said waking up with your arms wrapped around the woman you love is a bad thing. If anything, having lots of sex with your lover is great for a healthy relationship. It’s just the polygamy stuff where things get a little gray, and the magic stuff is a definite unknown, but the rest, I totally agree. I love it when we just sit and talk about nothing. I love that you listen, and I love how easy it is for me to listen to you. And it’s the same with the others. I love it when we sit together, and you girls just have to scoot right up against me,” he admitted, wondering when was the last time he’d said ‘love’ this much, and if it sounded forceful or insincere.
Moonlight softly chuckled and brought a finger to poke Thomas’ cheek, marveling at the difference in size. “We can’t help it. Your skin just feels so good against our fur.”
Thomas smiled and leaned into the finger, trying to push it back with only his head. “So, I guess we’re on the same page then. We love having sex with each other, but there’s definitely more to our relationship.”
“Without question.”
“Cool. But, if I’m being honest, if the doctor ever says I’ve got to go celibate, I’m probably gonna look for a new doctor.”
“Because Luna would strip him of all credentials and kick him out of the castle, possibly literally,” Moonlight stated.
Thomas chuckled, only to notice that Moonlight was dead serious, which was even funnier. “Well, I was gonna say until I found a doctor who told me what I wanted to hear, but I guess the principle is the same. On that note, I guess I’m still figuring out my feelings for everyone and how it translates to the human experience.”
“Why translate at all, though?” At Thomas’ puzzled face, Moonlight elaborated. “Well, it’d be like when humans first invented the airplane. Humans had never flown before, so it was a whole new experience. Maybe going fast on something like a train was similar, but it’s entirely something else to be so high. There’s no perfect translation, so you just have to take it as something new and different.”
“Using other things as references, but not absolutes,” Thomas added, continuing the idea as donning realization eased his anxiety.
Moonlight beamed smugly. “Do I know my stallion, or what?”
Thomas glared at the mare in accusatory amusement. “If I were big, I’d give you such a pinch for that.”
Tittering, Moonlight popped her lips and blew a gust of hot air that ruffled the human’s hair. “Nothing’s stopping you, little one.” Then she blinked. “Oh, that’s an unexpected reaction.”
Confused, Thomas shifted a little and realized he’d gotten hard. “Uh… yeah, unexpected is a word for it,” he pondered, staring at his curious erection through the cleavage’s density. “I didn’t think I got off on being teased, but did that change?”
Moonlight resumed grinning and suggested, “Maybe you’re just happy to be with me like usual.” At Thomas’ ‘seriously?’ expression, she elaborated, “You said you loved simply talking with me. Maybe that’s one of your triggers?”
“Or this might be an adverse effect from the shrinking accident,” Jet interjected as she approached. “Don’t worry. I was humming old folk songs to tune out most of it, but that last bit caught my attention.”
“Thank you for at least trying to give us some privacy,” Moonlight replied with a gracious nod before returning her attention to Thomas. “Are you feeling alright? Do you want the doctor to have a quick look?”
Staring straight ahead, Thomas pursed his lips as he pondered his predicament. Internally, everything felt fine. The thin layer of fur was pleasant against his bare skin, everything below his armpits was comfortably warm, and the room temperature of everything above was so mild that it wasn’t worth noticing. “Uh, I don’t think so. Everything feels as normal as can be.” He then looked back up at the giant pony face looming overhead and added, “All things considered.”
Moonlight narrowed her eyes in accusation. “You say that, and I know you don’t like making trouble for others, but this is serious. If there’s anything—ANYTHING—the matter, you have to let somepony know, got it?”
Thomas nodded. “Yeah, I get it, and I’ll say something. But right now, my legs aren’t even asleep or anything. This is—I don’t want to say bland because you have some mighty fine teats,” he assured with a smile. “But this might be the least exciting ride in someone’s boobs I’ve ever had… and I just realized that this has happened to me enough that I can actually say that,” Thomas said, staring blankly into space. “I’m torn.”
“Is something hurting you?” Jet inquired.
“No. I’m torn on what to say. Do I say, ‘What even is my life right now?’ Or do I go with the obvious answer of ‘This is the best possible timeline’? Both fit.”
Jet was likewise torn between disappointment, annoyance, and mild amusement at the human’s remark.
“Ya know what? I’m hungry,” Thomas declared.
“I suppose a snack wouldn’t hurt,” Moonlight agreed. “Any cravings?”
“You know what I haven’t had in forever? A quesadilla,” Thomas said in longing.
“A what?”
“A quesadilla. Ya know, it’s a tortilla filled with melted cheese, meat, and sometimes vegetables.” Thomas explained, his confusion as evident as both mares’ expressions. “You’ve never had a quesadilla?”
“Perhaps we should put a special order in with the kitchens. They might know,” Moonlight suggested.
So, they did just that. Thomas needed to go to great lengths to explain the finer details while the cooks puzzled over Moonlight’s awkwardly long pauses as she passed along the invisible man’s words. In the end, the guard mares and their hidden charge were asked to stand off to the side while the cooks whipped something up, intrigued by the challenge of a foreign recipe.
“They really don’t know what a quesadilla is,” Thomas realized.
“Is that so surprising?” Moonlight asked. “You probably have lots of foods that no pony in Equestria has ever heard of.”
Thomas smiled flatly as he weighed his options, but ultimately decided to spill. “This is an oracle thing, but super minor,” he clarified upon feeling Moonlight tense and seeing Jet looking ready for a fight. “Like, it doesn’t impact anything on a level that would even be noticeable, or at least, it shouldn’t, but my vision says that Twilight Sparkle is afraid of quesadillas.”
The mares blinked and exchanged silent looks.
“What is scary about a quesadilla?” Jet asked.
“All I know is she shivered when she said how cheesy they are,” Thomas recounted, omitting the parts about Pinkie’s stalker files and how this admission came post-alicorn ascension. “It’s kind of just a joke that only comes up once and—” He stopped at recalling Jet didn’t know the finer details of his vision. “Well, the point is that if quesadillas don’t exist, then I might be responsible for introducing something that potentially somehow traumatizes Twilight in the future.”
“And you’re sure this is just a food?” Jet pressed, puzzling over how this could happen as the cooks continued working and ignoring the bystanders. “Your accuracy rating is not perfect, but it is reasonably high, so we should err on the side of caution and assume it is so. Have you informed Twilight Sparkle of this issue?”
Thomas shook his head. “No. Like I said, it’s so minor that I only just now thought about it.”
After seeing the cooks throw something in the oven, Jet added, “The cuisine is already underway, so I recommend discussing matters with the Princesses and warning Twilight Sparkle before things go beyond this room.”
“Already planning to do that,” Thomas agreed with a nod, slightly annoyed at her implication that he hadn’t automatically reached the same conclusion.
“Although, now I’m a little excited. Is melted cheese on bread really worth all this fuss?” Moonlight asked as her stomach rumbled.
“Okay, I felt that one,” Thomas noted with a laugh as his stomach took its cue to also grumble. “Man, I hope they didn’t burn it or anything.”
Then, as if on cue once more, a timer tinged, and a cook pulled the pan out of the oven. A stallion in the chef’s hat folded and cut the bread as Thomas had described through Moonlight before handing the orange mare the plate. It was exactly as the human recalled: a half-circle of flat and flakey bread. The unicorn pinched it between her fingers for examination, wary as though she feared it might explode, yet it looked perfectly ordinary. Even Jet couldn’t detect anything suspicious as Moonlight pried the confection apart to reveal simple meat, cheese, and a few vegetables. Finally, after deciding the thing wouldn’t spontaneously combust, Moonlight broke off one of the thicker and cheesier portions and brought it above her bust line.
Thomas eyed the chunk that looked nothing like a proper quesadilla. Moonlight had done her best, but she’d only squished together a tiny bit of bread and meat dripping with cheese in the tiny portion, and even that looked too big for the shrunken human. However, the smell was familiar, so the already hungry young man reached out with both arms. The meat was hot to the touch, but not enough to burn as he pulled it from Moonlight’s fingers. He then bit into the cheesiest area and let the blended flavors wash across his tongue. Moaning in delight, the human hugged the meat like a long-lost friend, only slightly annoyed with the cheese dribbling down his arms.
Watching the human sate his newfound gluttony with such glee, it wasn’t long before the mares surrendered to their curiosity. Moonlight gave Jet a whole slice before taking one for herself, which they carefully bit into while minding the heat. One bite became two, and before long, the mares’ respective slices had been purged from the world.
“Well, how was it?” asked the cook while everyone involved in the project attentively awaited the verdict.
“If I may speak, I’d say your performance was satisfactory,” Jet interjected while the others ate. “However, I ask that you refrain from recreating this recipe until notified otherwise. We wouldn’t want any unexpected consequences, would we?” she asked, her tone nakedly threatening.
Getting the picture, the cooks nodded and resumed their prior work, but not before expressing their interest in trying more new recipes. Thusly, the duo plus one departed, armed with the newfound duty to save the country’s savior from a potential cheese-related trauma that one of them had knowingly brought into the world.
