You are Anon, and you own a musket for home defense. When four rapscallions break into your house. "What the devil!?" You do what must be done. Now you have to explain to Twilight why this makes sense.

Edit: Featured? Thank you everyone!

Reading by Wuten: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8Hab2Ff1cI

[WARNING: Contains ear scratching, belly rubs, and blushing cheeks]

Anonymous is sent to jail for his most heinous crimes of bullying in the second degree, there he meets a mare working as a prison guard called Cookies 'n Cream.

Written originally for the Anon in Pone Prison threads on /mlp/, which is where the OC Cookies 'n Cream (Pictured) comes from.

3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

This story is a sequel to Changing Expectations

When ages are segmented and divided in the annals of history, it is done so with great events as breakpoints. The Second Age of Heroes was unanimously declared to have started with the return of Princess Luna and the changeling Invasion of Canterlot.

For thousands of years, the changelings survived beneath The Great Tapestry, that which connects all living and nonliving things. Hundreds of generations worked endlessly to keep their existence a secret. With one command from Queen Chrysalis, the Masquerade was broken.

In a single night, the changelings waged war against Equestria and took the Kingdom by storm. Months later, the war between changelings and ponies has ended. A new tapestry, a new story, must be woven between the two species. Equestria and the Fifth Hive have gone through a dark chapter and have emerged stronger for it.

One war ends and another begins.

As The Sword of Damocles hangs above the heads of the formerly-human King Phasma and his Equestrian counterparts, the forces of light must work on an ever-shortening window before war once again brings Hell to Equus. Dark powers grow in the places that the light does not reach, and they bring one irrefutable truth.

Epitaph is coming.

Cover art by Nixworld.

Special thanks to my pre-readers!

This story is a sequel to Anon’s a Villain Again

Well, I believe the title says it all. It’s been a couple years since his last conquest, and Anon decides to conquer the world because he made a bet with Celestia. This time, he ain’t McCluckin’ around. Welcome, to the finale of this trilogy.

Featured on March 17th, 2021

Author’s note: Y’all, I’m sorry this didn’t come out exactly when the last one reached 500 likes, but I didn’t think it’d come this fast, Jesus.

This story is a sequel to Anon’s a Villain and Wins

So, villainy was profitable the first time. Anon managed to wrangle up revenue from properties he owned, but due to how every pony was still a little pissed, they got some dope lawyers and kicked him out of the country. Thankfully, he’s still got his squad to back him up as he decides to come out of retirement and be a super villain in the Crystal Empire instead... that is, until some jackass tries to do it first.

This time around, there’ll be like, three chapters and an epilogue.
Warning: naughty no-no words.

Featured: January 7, 2021

Anon is a villain. Not a particularly good one, but... he’s a villain. Let’s see what stupid shit he did this time.

A one-shot inspired by “If movie Villains didn’t waste time”

Chrysalis might be one of the most evil, vile, and dastardly villains that Equestria has ever known. She might have been responsible for nearly destroying the world more than once, she might even be a soul-sicking, shapeshifting monster, but she is still a mare.

She had never been given a genuine, honest compliment from someone that wasn't under threat or stuffed into a feeding pod or mind controlled. Today that is going to change.

Cadence really hasn't happy about the whole thing.

Artist is llamacheesecake

This story is a sequel to Equestrian Border Checkpoint

Hi, I’m Anon. I’m the asshole in the booth at the Checkpoint. See, ever since I came to the Equestrian Border Checkpoint of Manehatten, I’ve done two things. Stamp papers, and yell at people. I do both of these things really well. Now, without further ado, get your shit and get out, you’re holding up the line.

Papers Please does NOT belong to me, but there isn’t a tag for it. Sex tag is for references to sex. Also, there’s a shizzle ton of swear words. It get heckin hectic.

Amazing Cover art by LazyHooves
Chapters 1-14: The Human Arc
Chapters 15-28: The War Arc

Hi. I’m Anon. Your run of the mill asshole. A proud one at that. When I came to this world, the princesses didn’t expect much. Then, they saw how I was good at picking up mistakes. So, they made me a functioning person in society. A mostly pony society. Ponies and other creature would be expecting to be welcomed by a warm hearted pony. Instead, they got me.

(Papers Please does not belong to me, but there isn’t a tag for it. Sex tag is for references to sex)

Cover Art by me.
Here’s the sequel. People like it for some reason.