Papers, Ponies, and Attitude

by Yellowtail

Chapter Not-22: The Battle of Fuck-It

Author's Note:

This is Spearhead’s perspective of the battle. A little weird, I know, but I figured it’d be a nice change before continuing Anon’s bullshit!

And forgive me for any errors I make, I’m kind of tired and out of it...

Ten minutes before Hell broke loose...

Almost ten years in the Royal Guard. Countless nights where I would think I’d get a promotion of some sort. It all leads to this. “Spearhead, I’m giving you the most important mission of your career,” my commanding officer says. “... Please, please try to save me a carrot sandwich!” I nod, saluting.

“Yes sir, one carrot sandwich to be held on to for you, sir!” I respond.

“Good, I’ve been trying to get those sandwiches for weeks!” My commanding officer replies. I mentally sigh. You know, Anon’s a jackass, but at least he has sensible orders. Then again, I normally give out silly orders too. I mean, what else are we going to do around here? I start marching out of the officer’s office, heading towards the food cart that was allowed in today. I wonder if Anon knows about the food cart? Probably not, but I don’t want to disturb him. He got pretty mad yesterday when some idiot called him out of his station. Some new lieutenant, he had forgotten to ask the delivery’s escorts about what the package was. I find it odd, but then again, I find a lot of things odd. How do snow cones work? Why is there a snow cone cart in the winter? Why does my wife like tennis so much? Why am I still a Celestia-damn sergeant in the Royal Guard?! I sigh out my frustrations. Right, no time for that, I have to-

My thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of aggressive screaming outside, which stops me. I feel my thoughts all turn to panic a little before recomposing myself. “Alert! All soldiers! We need eyes on the Checkpoint’s wall facing north, please respond!” A voice crackles through my radio. I start to reach for it, but stop as I hear sirens. Sirens only go off when- an explosion rocks the building, making me stumble. I quickly take out my radio and press the button to talk.

“Inspector! Stay in your room! I repeat, stay in your-“ An explosion erupts again, making me stop. That one sounded too close. I put away the radio and take out my sword with my mouth. I narrow my eyes as I gallop down the hall. Anon said someone needed eyes on the wall, and the last explosion sounded like it was close to it. I burst through a door leading outside and almost gasp. The wall had a huge hole in it, with Minotaurs and dragons going through it. The flashing of metal colliding with metal, the screams and yells of soldier, this was not good. I need to fight, but I also need to find Anon. He may have a fancy crossbow, but he doesn’t have a lot of bolts. Add to the fact that his station is an easy access to the rest of Manehatten, and he’s toast. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts as I realize that I’m losing time just standing around. I gallop into the battle, thinking of a plan as I go. I’ll try to head toward’s Anon’s station, but there are various enemies in the way.

It’s been almost an hour or two. I dodge a punch as I go past a Minotaur. I’ll need to clear out a good sum of them to be able to escape with Anon. I’ve taken down a few of them, but I’m getting close to being dead because of how tired I am. I pant heavily as I rest for a moment. I don’t think we’ll win this one...

Suddenly, I hear a war cry unlike any I’ve heard before, making me stop in panic. I look around wildly in the middle of an ongoing battle, wondering what in Tartarus that sound is. I block multiple attacks as I do this. Just like that, a pop sounds out as a blinding flash takes up everyone’s vision. I rapidly blink, trying to regain my sight as I hear the sound of something sharp slicing flesh, as well as multiple blood-curdling screams. My heart races as I try to figure out what’s going on! Finally, I can see with a clear view, of Princess Luna, lightly armored, yet exceedingly deadly with a black double-edged-axe about her size. Its blades are a neon-blue, glowing with enchantments that are dangerous without a doubt. The shaft of the axe seems to be an ebony wood, slightly curving as it reaches the blades. Wordlessly, Princess Luna strikes down various creatures at once, spinning the axe flawlessly and graciously with her magic. Sometimes, I wish I was a unicorn. Anyway, I notice a Minotaur starting to charge at her from behind. Thinking quickly, I take my sword with a hoof, and throw it towards the enemy. The sword spins a lot before landing into the back of the Minotaur. The Princess’ head snaps towards the Minotaur’s scream before seeing that it was already dead. I stare at the body with wide eyes, I did not think that could work! Princess Luna looks up to see me, still in the same position after I had thrown in. She quickly nods in thanks and continues dealing with the intruders.

“... Holy cow,” I mutter, I shake my head and look around for another weapon. Seeing a spear, I take it with a hoof and try to gallop towards Anon’s station as fast as I can. I only hope I’m not too late.

I finally come up to the Checkpoint’s main office building. I quickly knock on the doors. “Hello?! This is the Royal Guard! Open up!” I order. The door opens slowly to reveal a blue mare, trembling with fear. I narrow my eyes at her and point my spear immediately. “Identify yourself!” I order.

“I-I’m-I’m Clipper!” She answers. “T-the n-new secretary.” I guess Anon forgot to tell me about her. I keep my spear pointed at her nonetheless. She could be lying for all I know.

“Have you seen Inspector Anon?” I ask.

“N-no, I-I think he’s still in t-there,” Clipper says, pointing toward’s Anon’s usual station.

“Alright, come with me,” I order. I’m not taking any chances, I’ve been hearing rumors about spies from some of the other guards. They sound very real now since this battle started.

“I-I want t-to go home-“ she stammers, tearing up. I see the genuine fear in her eyes and sigh.

“... I’ll escort you out ma’am, follow me,” I say. Anon can yell at me later, and the exit here isn’t too far. I have no doubt in my mind that the Border is surrounded by guards by now. I’m certain there’s someone who can evacuate non-military staff. Clipper thanks me and walks out. I follow her closely, keeping an eye on her. We walk all the way to the exit before a guard stops us.

“Halt, identify yourselves,” he orders.

“It’s Sergeant Spearhead, this is a civilian, please escort her to safety. I’ll be back with another civilian,” I say. The guard blinks in surprise out how quick I talked before nodding.

“Yes sir!” He salutes and allows Clipper to walk.

“Thank you,” she says to me as she leaves. I nod and turn back. Now, for Anon...

I rapidly knock onAnon’s station door, “Inspector!” I call. No response. I frown and knock even louder. “Inspector!” I yell. I bang once more. “Anon! It’s Spearhead!”... No response. I grunt and back up. Time for an old-fashioned breaching. I gallop quickly and slam into the metal door, breaking it open. I look around and gasp. “Holy Celestia,” I mutter. There, in blood, is the body of a dead Minotaur. It has multiple scratch wounds on its back, as well as two distinctive stab wounds. One stab wound is near the spine on its lower back, the other is along the spine almost five hoofs above it. Next to its corpse, are two smaller bodies. A griffon, and Anon. The griffon looks roughed up, but Anon looks much worse. His right leg looks like its bending the wrong way, and blood is coming out of his mouth. I can see lots of bruises forming on his face and hands, even as he’s hunched over. I rush to the bodies and check their pulses. The minotaur’s dead, but Anon and the griffon are just unconscious. I give a sigh of relief and take out my radio. “This is Spearhead in the Passport Inspector’s booth, we need medical evac, over,” I say... I wonder if I’ll get a promotion now?

Comments

[Kek lel]

Spearhead got no promotion because reasons.

[HB_DS2013]

9787399 That’s stupid. He should be promoted. Alternately, he’s still Sargeant because Anon likes him.

[Vaguely Demented]

Maybe commanding officers have a thing for alliteration.

[Vaalintine]

9787511
A more likely reason is that he's there so the checkpoint runs smoothly. It can't be JUST Anon making it work.

Also, that gryphon they found thwre is probably going to treated fantastically for helping, which I find funny.

[Munro]

spearhead the hero of the day, dam luna is badass :D

[Kek lel]

9787511
Was a joke, calm down. Didnt mean to offend you :(

[vortex123]

I say... I wonder if I’ll get a promotion now?

....I feel for the guy, but seriously? The fact that he's thinking that when there are two injured unconscious people around him is kinda deadpan worthy.

9787593
Considering all the stupid decisions almost all the ponies centered around that checkpoint have made since we've started this story have made, do you really think a decision as logical as that was made?

[PaintedPony]

9787902
In times of high stress, you'd be surprised what you can think about.

[A Tin Can]

9787902
Some folks just work and think on a different spectrum. Some folks could genuinely care and be more focused on helping, others only wanna move up the ladder

[Yellowtail]

9788018
Well, think of it this way.
Spearhead isn’t able to help Anon or the griffon medically, he has just confirmed that (for the most part) Anon is alright, and he has to wait there for a medic to come get him. Instead of focusing on his friend who’s fucked up, he instead decides to just focus on what he was thinking earlier to keep calm.

[Lunar eclipse airsoft]

[Element of Power]

9788018
OH GOD!!! ANON'S HURT!!!!
...
So...,about that promotion....

[HB_DS2013]

9787873 I’m not offended, though.

[Commander Joe]

9788445
I'm not mad at you or anything. And I don't have any problem with you using smoking in your story. It's just that addiction (especially tobacco) is a rather personal thing for me. Sorry about that.

[420FuckUp]

People seem to be taking the cigs thing a little too seriously, its a story ffs. Theyre bad for you but fr its a fictional story.
But liking it so far keep it up broski

[Yellowtail]

9789237
It’s okay, I understand.

[Gundamdragon]

he deserves one for saving best princess. or transfer to the lunar guards

[TwistedSpring]

If he does t get a promotion Luna should at least polish his spear point. Wink wink nod nod

[Acadians6545]

9784301
I still need it back it's got my blood on it.

[Prince Jules Moonshade]

More the king is pleased and wants more! Very good so far now I need more Anon bullshit to read gimmie. :P

[Enonnnymous]

9794277
damn straight

[Cheshirek4t]

9794277
LOL