• Member Since 4th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen June 19th




Hi. I’m Anon. Your run of the mill asshole. A proud one at that. When I came to this world, the princesses didn’t expect much. Then, they saw how I was good at picking up mistakes. So, they made me a functioning person in society. A mostly pony society. Ponies and other creature would be expecting to be welcomed by a warm hearted pony. Instead, they got me.

(Papers Please does not belong to me, but there isn’t a tag for it. Sex tag is for references to sex)

Cover Art by me.
Here’s the sequel. People like it for some reason.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 91 )

This was an entertaining read for sure, though it is pluck full of errors. Also the main character is kind of boring. Also it's rushed. But still not a bad read

Very good, very funny

This fic perfectly captured my feelings playing Papers, Please once I'd gotten past the midway point.

I was so tired of people trying to screw me out of my paycheck and wasting my time with their false papers that I started getting actively vindictive.

Glory to Equestria.

This story is very good and funny

Oh man what a refleshing read.Id like to see more of this :)

“Enough!” Celestia yells. Twilight and I shut up instantly. She turns to Twilight. “Twilight, I already know what your plight with Anon is, and I know why Anon is here. He is Equestria’s best Checkpoint Expector.

Um, shouldn't that be INspector, not EXpector?
I agree. Cool story, bro. Can you tell me another?

No one expects The Spanish Exquisition!

I liked everything except the last bit, it's okay as a joke about the princesses being useless but I get the feeling you didn't do that on purpose.

Also, there are a lot of errors but they're not too bad, they're distracting but nothing so bad I can't read it/had to re-read.

What does that have to do with anything I said? A simple yes or no will suffice. I'm expecting a no because this is fine as a stand-alone, and I get the feeling it was meant to be one. *shrug*

... It’s a meme.... I’m not that old am I?
See, the joke is
“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.”
So, to kind of make fun of myself, I replaced the In with Ex, thus
Sorry for the confusion

I know it's a meme, I just didn't get why it's EVER been funny. Maybe I'm just from the wrong country and didn't pick up on as to why it was humorous.

this is the first anon in equestria story that i've actually liked

please make more for us

:fluttershysad: you know ... if that's ok with you

You can make a small series out of this. I want more!

(crowd chanting) series! series! series! series! series!
I would love to see this turn into a series. because I have not found a story this funny in a while and those that I find funny for some reason have been abandoned for years :fluttercry:

Really loved the premise of this story. Probably one of my favorite reads in some time. I for one would love to see this made into a series. Please give it some consideration!

Id read it :) The story is surprisngly refleshing,dont know why is that but this anon character and his persective is joy to read. Just watch out not to make main six complete comedy of themselfs.

This game. Man, one of the most annoying sounds is when the thing comes up that tells you that you goofed.





It’s the sound that makes your heart skip a beat in fear when you play perfection! XD


"Protocol violated.
Invalid gender."

That one gets me all the time.

I....good lord....i cant breath...:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

*looks left*... *looks right*...
... I don’t see any.

This was fun, and I am glad to see there is a sequel now!

“Welcome to Equestria my friend, get your shit and get out.”

Jeff Dunham/Walter reference?

Literally could be made 1000% better by just giving the poor shmuck a name. "Anon" is an instant downvote.

I know right?
I think it’s funnier how he makes fun of everyone else’s name

"Dude you literally have the shittiest name ever."

Its always been humorous

I find it amusing this is about 1000 times more upbeat than Papers Please.

I would appreciate more of this. Most certainly. :)

“You can buzz off now,” I say, smirking. He takes his papers and tries to enter. The magic enchantment on the door senses the denial stamp and stops him. “... You’re completely colorblind aren’t you?” I ask bemusedly. He nods sheepishly. “Read what the damn stamp says!” I say. He looks at the stamp and sighs before leaving. I lean towards the mic, “Next!”


Please continue this, I can’t stop lmao! But seriously, please.

Oh yeah. There’s a sequel. I meant to update the author’s note.

I actually paid Celestia to allow me to curse as much as I want. She considered it as a booth upgrade

So... The princess of the sun; the one pony that is regarded as the epitome of all that is good, the one being that is seen as a goddess by the fanbase and is often regarded in several fics and the show as a bastion and a symbol againts evil, accepts bribes?.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Normally I hate asshole characters, but that's only because people seem to go way over the top with how much of an asshole they write. You did it right though. Loved the parts with Derpy, the griffon, and Ember. Great story :twilightsmile:

Thank you! People have told me how i actually managed to do it right, and I'm glad to hear!


She did try anger management for him.

Pretty sure a swear jar isn't a form of bribery.

Heheh. this will make sense later on in Papers Ponies and Attitude, once I get around to explaining it.


“Next!” I say. A grey griffon with yellow accents on his feathers walks in. The first thing I notice, is that he’s wearing a big coat and a satchel. I quirk an eyebrow. “Wow, great way to hide a bomb like the most suspicious looking guy in the world,” I comment. He gives me an offended glare. “Paper’s (no apostrophe) please,” I say, smirking at his reaction. He hands me his papers with his claw. I look over the papers to see that he’s an official representative from Griffonstone. “Ah, So you’re a rich asshole,” I say. The griffon rolls his eyes, remaining silent as I check his papers. His weight is correct, sadly. Guess I can’t check him for bombs or say he ate one too many cupcakes or some shit. I look at his documents again and noticed something off. “... Are you allowed to be here?” I ask. He tilts his head. “You have to have granted access to go to Equestria,” I say. He pales. “Guess you’re shit out of luck,” I say, reaching for the detain button. He gestures for me to stop for a second. I sigh and cross my arms impatiently. This better be good. He looks through his satchel, trying to find something. He silently gasps excitedly and hands me a letter. I take it and read it.

Thank you, I’ve corrected it, but for future reference, please refrain from using a chunk of story. Just write down the sentence, and I’ll find it.

Again, thank you though.

I have not played papers please.
I propably could pirate it but I stopped doing that to games some time ago.
Good story though.

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