• Member Since 4th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen May 2nd, 2023



This story is a sequel to Equestrian Border Checkpoint

Hi, I’m Anon. I’m the asshole in the booth at the Checkpoint. See, ever since I came to the Equestrian Border Checkpoint of Manehatten, I’ve done two things. Stamp papers, and yell at people. I do both of these things really well. Now, without further ado, get your shit and get out, you’re holding up the line.

Papers Please does NOT belong to me, but there isn’t a tag for it. Sex tag is for references to sex. Also, there’s a shizzle ton of swear words. It get heckin hectic.

Amazing Cover art by LazyHooves
Chapters 1-14: The Human Arc
Chapters 15-28: The War Arc

Chapters (44)
Comments ( 1933 )

I'm happy to see a Paper's Please story here, especially a funny one like this! Both your stories get Favourites!

So far so good. Same quality as oneshot. Im curious where you will develop this.

Waking up to your money teleported at a high speed hurts.

Lol. A perfect blend of Equestrian weirdness and soul crushing indifference. I like it.

Poor Anon. And given Tailscrew's name, I expected Anon to make a jab about her liking anal or something. I guess he's more mature than I thought.

I had no idea how much I needed to read Yak diplomacy before now. That was the favorite part, hands down.

This just makes me laugh, I love how you make him an asshole you can like.

Hey Dipshit, don't make bets with assholes. They are right more often than anyone would like.

This is a good story. But it needs more chapters. :twilightsmile:


The lack of chapters is the only thing I find wrong with this story. :derpytongue2:

I’m starting to see that ponies don’t have common sense in their dictionary.

A Skyrim skill tree meme reference? Well played
(Old meme tho)
This story you got here is guud...real guud

I have a bad feeling about Cadance's law and not the same way Anon does

Sometimes, the oldies are besties.

I need more of this in my life! It's amazing!

And some say his small heart grew three sizes that day......then shrunk 4 sizes to make room for more beer.

I am going to guess that candance is not going to let through next time. She did basically kidnap him for following her law

Canadian bacon is the MVP of this story.

Everyone likes stereotypical Canadians, even assholes like Anon

Hmmm, Who should he meet next? ..... Maybe Cadence again? She could always be sent over the border to grab Shining or something. Or maybe Chrissie with Anon pointing out all the flaws in her disguise and stuff with enough ferocity to cow her like a child shouted on by her parents or something. Or just.. Idunno come up with silly stuff. Silly stuff is always great.

Keep in mind, people from the Crystal Empire have to pass the border too.


Cadance basically just kidnapped this guy, and forced him to walk home. Dude's been travelling for over a day, and hasn't even reached Canterlot yet. During this time, he's been unable to do his job. Even a stand-in would only mitigate some of the damage, and there's likely to be a lot. The fallout from her little outburst will probably have severe repercussions. Celestia and Luna are going to be pissed.

Cadance done bucked up, and baaad. :rainbowlaugh:


This story makes me smile, :twilightsmile:

makes me laugh, :rainbowlaugh:

and makes me grin maniacally. :pinkiecrazy:

I look forward to reading more. :ajsmug:


I fucking LOVE how you're putting the Royals' eccentricities on a platter here! I need more!

“Because I don’t believe in love,” I simply say. “It’s a conspiracy, and I am not letting myself become a consumer of chaos.” Cadence doesn’t even blink as she gives me a deadpan stare.

thank you, and now the word will spread that love is a conspiracy!!!!:trollestia:
i do firmly believe that!:twilightsmile:

cute story after the funny bits!:trollestia:


Oh, Candace.
You are in so much trouble.

bitch slap Cadence and give the kid a friggin teddy bear:pinkiesad2:

Please keep them coming :fluttercry:

I like this, I like this side of Anon, and I hope this story has a long run :)

The kid was good written. Especially the breakdown at the end.

“To whomst the fuck foalnapped our ally Anonymous!?” She yells. Celestia merely looks at Luna in unamusement.

Do you mean homst'd've'ly'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es the fuck.

Cadance is sooo lucky Celestia's not telling Luna. :pinkiecrazy:


You seem to be missing the required proofreading...
"I do not know what to say..."
Ah well, the mistakes humor my fancy...
Enjoy your stay in Glorious Equestria.

Anon is fucking his boss theres no other way she can resist his sheer force of his charisma

Long run! Long run!

Did he ever watch George Carlin?

Will Anon ever get his chocolate dispenser?

I fucking love that yak!

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