I sigh as I await for something to happen as I lay in my hospital bed. Sadly, my injuries will take some time to heal. Apparently my magic resistance kind of works on powerful healing spells. It’s been a couple days since I woke up. I’ve been having nightmares, but only Luna knows. So far, the nightmares pertain to the Minotaur I killed. I don’t feel too bad for killing him, he was going to kill innocent creatures anyway. The griffon I had... almost detained, but saved me, had visited me a couple times. His name’s Razor, which sounds like a decent name in this world. He’s technically illegally in Equestria, but he saved me, so I’ll let it slide. Luna told me what happened after the battle. We won, but the Border is going to be closed for a couple weeks, until early-mid September.
So, that leads up to now. I can feel and move my arms now, which is nice. My legs still need a bit more healing, and then I’ll have to wait a couple days to make sure I’m actually healed up. This will probably take a week at the least. I look over and notice a radio on a nightstand next to my monitor. Reaching over, I grunt as I turn it on. I hear some smooth jazz music. “Do ya like jazz?” I ask no one in particular, smiling at an old reference. I lay back down, only to hear knocking. I sigh. “Come in,” I call. The door opens, revealing two ponies. One’s a pegasus, purple coat with a black and white mane. He’s smoking a cigarette. The other pony is a bulky earthpony, red coat and grey mane. The pegasus walks over to a window and opens it. He leans on the sill and breathes out.
“Hey bud, the name’s Lighter,” the pegasus says, taking another drag. Without looking, he gestures towards the other pony with his cig. “That’s Brick.” The earthpony huffs.
“Hey, buddy,” I call to Lighter. “Got another one? It’s been crazy lately.” The pegasus smirks and tosses me a cigarette. I grab it as he walks over, offering a lighter. I take the lighter, click up a fire, and light up the cig. I take a drag as I give the pony back his lighter.
“I like him already,” he mutters. I breathe out, and nod.
“Right. Now, where’s the part that I care about who you two are?” I ask. Brick scoffs as Lighter sighs.
“Well, you’ve met our little group before, yeah? Ya helped us out about a couple years ago,” he explains.
“That’s vague,” I point out, taking another drag.
“We’re from the mob,” Brick finally speaks. Lighter nods.
“What he said.” Lighter takes a drag and breathes it out the window as I process what he’s talking about.
“... Oh, that group,” I mutter. “Cool. Again, where’s the part that I care?” I ask.
“You see, our boss knows you. Now, he said that you’re kind of a stickler for the rules, so we’re not asking too much at the moment.” I take a drag as he speaks. “The part that you’ll care about, is the part about another little gang.”
“... Alright, you have my attention for the moment,” I say, breathing out the smoke.
“We heard that a griffon by the name of ‘Bullshilvic’ is coming to Manehatten. He’s an insider for a little ring of ours. However, we want to cut him loose,” he says.
“Not killing him,” I say.
“Well, we don’t necessarily want him dead,” the pegasus clarifies. “We just want to cut him off of our business. We told him to come to the Border once it reopens. He’ll be carrying a good amount of... stuff,” he says. “Deny him, detain him, we don’t care. Just make sure he doesn’t come back to Equestria.”
“Uh huh, and why don’t you guys take care of him now?” I ask.
“He was sent to somewhere to do a bit of trading, but we recently found out he’s been dealing for other businesses as well. Businesses that take a bit more cash than us,” the pegasus says. “If you do this, we’ll owe you another favor.”
“And why don’t you guys deal with him yourself, sending someone to wherever he is? I’d assume you have the money,” I point out.
“Smart cookie aren’t ya?” The pegasus says, snickering. “That’s the best part. If we did it, it’d be much more expensive than whatever favor you’d ask us to do. We know you’re rather well off, thus money isn’t a concern for you.” The pegasus puts out his cig on the windowsill and sits down on a chair next to my bed. “Simply put, our boss knows you’re not high maintenance, catch my drift?” I nod, taking another drag.
“Great to know I’m cheaper,” I say.
“Well, that, and you’re a decent fellow that doesn’t ask for much to begin with,” Lighter says, chuckling. “Now, do we have a deal?”
“Sure, just write down the fuckwit’s name for me,” I say. Brick smiles.
“I like him,” he says. Lighter chuckles as he takes out a paper and pen.
“Me too, very reliable.” He hands me the paper and I read over it. Nodding, I set it on my nightstand.
“Alright, can you put this out?” I ask, handing Lighter the cig. He takes it, puts it out, and tosses it in the bin.
“Pleasure doing business with ya,” he says, walking out. Brick nods and follows him out, closing the door. I sigh as I lay back down.
“I don’t know if this was a good idea, or bad idea,” I mutter. Before I could try to relax, another knock sounds out from the door. I groan. “Come in,” I call. The door opens to reveal Clipper, nervously walking in. I widen my eyes as I remember the day the attack happened. Fuck. She’s going to resign.
“Mr Anon, um, I’m here to talk about my position,” she starts.
“Miss Clipper, may I say something first?” I ask. She looks up at me in confusion before slowly nodding. “I deeply apologize, you should not have experienced that on the second day,” I say. “I’ll pay for anything you require until the Border reopens. Food, water, housing, anything, you name it.” I sigh as Clipper looks at me with shock. “You’ve only worked for a day, but I realize that you’re exceedingly needed. Please, don’t quit.”
“... I uh, wasn’t going to sir,” she replies. I look up in surprise.
“O-oh. Then what was it?”
“I was simply asking when I’m going back,” she says. I blink apafter staring for a second, processing the question.
“... Oh, uh, I think the Border reopens in a few weeks, early or mid September,” I answer.
“Okay, good,” Clipper says, breathing out a sigh of relief. “... Mr Anon, about the attack,” she starts. Intense up, anxiety building as she continues. I don’t want to go through the process of finding another secretary, that was too damn painful. “I was shaken up, but I’m determined. I knew what I was getting into sir, don’t worry.” I blink in surprise before nodding.
“Uh, good. Good,” I say.
“... See you September?” Clipper asks. I nod.
“See you September,” I confirm. She smiles weakly and walks out, shuttling the door. “Thank God, she didn’t quit,” I sigh out in relief. I look at the radio as it still plays jazz. “... Smoooooooth Jaaaaaaazz,” I say, stretching a little. I lay back and sigh as I doze off.
I wake up with a start, almost jumping out of my skin as I hear a knock on the hospital door. I yawn as I look at the still-open window. It’s evening, judging by the orange sky. “Come in,” I call. The door opens as Twilight, Skittles, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack walk in. “Oh great, the Friendship League,” I say. Pinkie gasps.
“That should totally be our group name!” Pinkie says excitedly.
“Woah, we are not naming ourselves, ‘The Friendship League’,” Skittle says.
“I dunno Skittles, sounds like something I’d recognize all of you as,” I say. The pegasus I responded to glares at me.
“It’s Rainbow Dash,” she mutters.
“Anyway, how are you Anon?” Twilight asks. I almost curse, but I remember Fluttershy’s in the room and clear my throat.
“Leg is messed up, but my arms are better,” I say. I look at Applejack.
“Hey, how’s the Terror Trio?” I ask. Applejack rolls her eyes at the nickname, but smiles.
“The Crusaders are fine,” she says. “They’re all better now, though they’re still a little shaken up.” I nod. Rarity clears her throat.
“Well, darling, I don’t want to be rude, but-“
“Is it a comment about my clothes?” I ask. She shakes her head. “Continue.”
“... It smells like someone smoked in here,” she says with distaste. I sigh.
“And yet, you still manage to make a face-palm inducing question,” I mutter. Rarity huffs.
“That is a perfectly reasonable statement, thank you very much,” she says.
“Hey Anon,” Fluttershy starts. “Have you really been feeling better?”
“... Yeah,” I say. “I’ve been feeling a lot better, but I’m sick of being here.”
“Ditto,” Skittles says.
“Used transform,” I say. Everyone blinks before looking at me in confusion. “Pokémon,” I answer. Pinkie gasps.
“Oh, I just remembered!” She takes out a cupcake from fucking nowhere, as one would. “I made this for you!” She holds it out to me excitedly. I take it, inspecting her craftsmanship. It’s vanilla, with red icing. I can make out ‘Get batter!’ in grey, stretching around the side of the icing. I smile, making no comment on her spelling mistake and/or pun.
“Thanks Pinkie,” I say. I go ahead and eat the icing before eating the cake itself.
“Thank you!” Pinkie responds happily. I finish off the cupcake as everyone starts leaving.
“We’re headin’ off, just wanted to see how you were doing sugarcube,” Applejack says, walking out. I wave to everyone by as I take the last bite. After they leave, I frown as I remember the Jazz and look over to the radio.
“I’m changing it,” I mutter. I try to reach over, but I can’t reach it. It’s just out of reach. “... Great,” I mutter, knowing the nonstop jazz will drive me crazy. I lay my head down, staring at the ceiling. I close my eyes, dozing off...
I jolt up as I hear stomping outside my bedroom. I quickly try to look around in panic, trying to find anything that could help me defend myself. My bedroom door is ripped open by a Minotaur, like the one I had killed. It chuckles ominously as it steps in, looking at my panicked form. “You thought you could run?” It asks, coming closer. I try to get up, but my body is locked in place. “You thought you could hide?” It grabs me by the throat, holding me up as I choke. “No, you don’t run or hide. You’re just an ape.” It pulls me close to it. “A simple, stupid, ape.” With that, it pulls out a knife. The knife I stabbed it with. “I’ll enjoy watching you suffer,” it says, going into laughter as it pulls back to stab me. I shut my eyes tightly, bracing myself for the pain-
“Anon!” A voice yells into my ear. I jolt upright, breathing heavily. I look around wildly to find Whisk, looking at me in surprise. “A-are you okay? What happened?” She asks. I look around again, processing what just happened. I look out the window to see it’s night time. I slowly stop myself from panting and sigh, rubbing my face tiredly.
“Nothing, I uh, just had a nightmare,” I mutter. Whisk frowns at me, but lets it go for now.
“Do you need any water? I can go get some for you,” she says. I shake my head, laying back down.
“It’s fine, I might just need something to eat,” I say. Whisk smiles and takes out a saddlebag. Reaching in, she rummages through it.
“I think I have just the thing,” she mutters. She smiles widely and takes out an object wrapped in aluminum foil. I smile as I smell something familiar.
“Did you sneak in a hotdog?” I ask. She nods and hands me the delicious food.
“Of course, I know ponies aren’t too used to meat, so I brought something just in case!”
“I really don’t deserve your love,” I say, taking it graciously. I unwrap it and smile at the cylinder of meat tucked in some buns. “Nice,” I say, taking a bite. We talk as I eat my food.
“So, want to hear about my day?” Whisk asks. I nod, chewing. “Alright, so remember when I told you there was a lot more customers than normal?” She asks. I nod, remembering she said something like that last week. “Well, it turns out, some rich dude came to my bar! Apparently, he gave it five stars for ‘the nice chatty bartender’,” she quotes with her claws. I snicker as she continues talking about her day. Not gonna lie, I miss this so much. Most of the time, Whisk and I can’t really speak to each other too much during the week days. We have Sundays together, sure, but it’s not much. We’d normally just chill and cuddle together, talking about the week. We’d be too tired to do anything else. Thus, I simply smile as I eat, enjoying my time with Whisk.
Meanwhile...
The cloaked pony slams her hoof into the throne room’s stone floor. “The ambush failed!?” She yells.
“W-well, yes-“ The Minotaur whimpers as the pony shrieks.
“What about the scout!? Tell me that the scout returned!” She continues.
“... N-no, h-he’s been missing,” the Minotaur replies. The pony growls, stamping her hoof in anger.
“How!? How is it that you have all failed me!?”
“W-well, the Royal Guard weren’t the only ones there,” he replies. “Princess Luna was reportedly seen in the battle, and she was not happy.”
“Of course... OF COURSE!!!” The cloaked figure screams. She takes the Minotaur with a magic grip and slams his head into the stone floor. “Bring this message to the hippogriffs south of us, put in an attack towards-“
“About that,” a new voice interrupts. The pony stops and looks up to see a hippogriff at the throne room’s entrance.
“Who are you?” The pony demands.
“A messenger, miss, but this message is to the king-“
“Tell me the message,” the pony seethes.
“... Fine. The Hippogriff Speratists have collectively decided that your treaty with us is...” he stops to look up in thought, as if trying to find the right way to say it. “... Unfavorable.”
“So?” The pony asks.
“So, we decided to surrender,” the hippogriff says plainly. “We shall rejoin our fellow Hippogriffs on Equestria’s side. We will no longer supply your forces. Take care,” he says, walking out. The pony’s eyes twitch maniacally as her magical grip on the Minotaur tightens. She brings the Minotaur to her.
“Make a message to the dragons near Griffonstone, I’m ordering them to continue attacking their bases,” she says. The grip on the Minotaur is released, allowing him to fall to the floor.
“Ugh, b-but didn’t you say not to-“
“That was before we didn’t have to worry about them. Now, we need to try to pressure them into backing down. We have enough of our own soldiers to fight on the frontlines, we just need the dragons to be scare tactics.” The pony growls to herself as she looks out a window. “I will not tolerate my plan being torn to shreds because of a miscalculation.”
“Y-Yes ma’am,” the Minotaur says, scrambling to leave. The pony glares at the pitiful creature as it runs out.
“Soon, human, soon,” she mutters darkly, smiling at the thought of her revenge...
I sigh as I stare at the ceiling. It’s been almost a week now. I can walk, however painful it, but the doctors told me to stay put for now to continue the healing process. I grumble about it constantly, but they pay me no mind. Now, I’m just nodding off every now and again. I start to nod off, but a knock on the door stops me. “Come in,” I call. The door is opened by a Royal Guard, who steps out of the way for the two princesses of Equestria. They nod in thanks to the guard who salutes before leaving the room. “Ah, yes,” I say. “Overgrown geese.”
“Anon, we came here to try to console thou,” Luna says. Celestia nods.
“We’ve heard of what happened, and I wanted to say-“
“Let me stop you right there,” I say, holding up a hand. “If what you say next pisses me off, just know that I am perfectly capable of getting up and beating the shit out of you.” Celestia blinks in surprise as I casually say this. “Alright, proceed.”
“... I wanted to apologize for your troubles,” she says. I quirk an eyebrow as I look at her, unconvinced. “... What?”
“... I honestly didn’t expect that,” I say.
“W-what do you mean?”
“I guess I kind of expected to hear something face-palm inducing,” I admit. I look at Celestia. “Good job, you didn’t piss me off for once,” I compliment. She merely deadpans at me before sighing.
“Thank you, I guess,” she mutters. Luna perks up as she thinks of something.
“That reminds us!” She pulls out a piece of paper with her magic. “Will thou and Whisk still be attending?” She asks. I squint at the paper. It’s the invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala.
“Is it a choice?” I ask.
“If you have the correct answer,” Luna replies cheerfully. I grimace.
“When is it again?” I ask tiredly.
“In about three or four weeks,” she answers.
“It would be nice if you attended,” Celestia tries to encourage.
“So that I could be a political power move?” I ask.
“No, of course not,” Celestia says. I sneeze suddenly, scaring her.
“Sorry, I’m allergic to bullshit,” I say. Luna snickers at the joke before laughing.
“I’m serious Anon,” Celestia says with a frown.
“And so am I,” I say.
“What will it take to convince you?” Celestia asks.
“Why do you need to convince me? I have to go either way, and if I’m not going to be a political pawn, then you have nothing to worry about,” I point out with a bemused expression. “Because then, that will mean that no one is going to come up and ask me controversial questions that could fuck up Equestria’s relations, which I’ll most likely try to do if such a thing were to happen.” I stare right at Celestia’s eyes coldly as I say this. “It’s a good thing that won’t happen, right?” I emphasize.
“R-right,” Celestia stutters. Luna rolls her eyes at Celestia as I look at her.
“Good, so, you guys have a sub for my position for the occasion, right?” I ask. Luna nods easily. “Cool.” I look out the window as I sigh. “... I’m so sick of being here,” I complain.
“Well, looketh onto the bright side Anon! Thou only hast a few more days until thou can leave!” She says. I nod.
“Yep. A few more days...”
It’s been three days, and I’m allowed to leave. I’m standing at the front desk, wearing my usual grey pants and red shirt, signing various papers. “The... stay... here... sucked... too... much.... jazz,” I mutter, writing out those words. I put the pen down and smile sarcastically at the nurse who deadpans at me. “Thanks for helpin’ me out,” I say, starting my walk home. The nurse shakes her head before going back to work. I go through the doors of the hospital and greet the open air. “Finally, after fucking forever,” I say to myself, stretching a little. “Now, I just need to go home, relax, and watch tv,” I mutter, starting my trek home.
I walk down the streets of Manehatten. The sun is in the sky, shining brightly, making me wish I could shoot it. “Damn it’s hot out here,” I mutter. “Can’t the weather ponies schedule some clouds out here?” I continue to complain as various ponies and carts pass me, rushing towards their destination as quickly as possible. I can hear various creatures talking to each other, busy with their daily lives. I simply keep walking towards my address, hoping I’ll go into some shade soon. As I walk, I notice that I’m passing Whiskey Bay. I smile and head in.
“-SO SHUT THE BUCK UP!!!” I hear Whisk yell as I open the door. I frown and poke my head in to see Whisk with her wings out, and she seems to be very angry.
“I-I was just saying-“ a griffon whimpers in his seat at the bar.
“You either shut up, or get out!” Whisk grits. The entire bar is silent, until I walk in.
“So,” I say, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Is this a bad time, or-“
“Anon!” Whisk says excitedly, hopping over her bar to get to me. She rushes up and hugs, smiling. “It’s so nice to see you, I-“ Her face quickly turns to horror as she looks at me. “Oh buck, I forgot you were getting out today! I’m so sorry!” She says quickly.
“Whisk, I didn’t ask you to come see me, I knew you’d be busy,” I say. “Besides, I’m hungry since hospital food tastes like shit.” That earns some laughter from the patrons watching on. Whisk giggles, relaxing.
“Alright, I’ll fix something up for you, on the house,” she says, winking. I smile back and move to a seat at the bar as Whisk flies back over to her place. As I sit down, the radio suddenly starts chattering.
“-Breaking news! Griffonstone was attacked yet again by dragons! However, with the help of Equestria, they were able to push back and corner the attackers!” I notice how the room gets quiet as the radio continues. “Equestria is finally gaining ground up north, as well as north east! Yakyakistan is providing major support in the northwest region of the front! And- ... what?... MORE BREAKING NEWS!!! THE HIPPOGRIFFIAN SEPERATISTS HAVE SURRENDERED!!! I REPEAT, THE HIPPOGRIFFIAN SEPERATISTS HAVE SURRENDERED!!!” The voice yells in excitement. All the patrons in the bar yell, joyful of the revelation. Even I smile at the news, chuckling. Whisk hands me a can of beer. I open it and take a good long sip. I might get drunk today. I look at the can for second before mentally deciding against it. Now, I merely await for food.
I hug Whisk again as I say bye. “I’ll be home around ten, be ready for me,” Whisk says. I nod.
“Don’t worry, I’ll have a good show picked out for you,” I respond. Whisk smiles.
“Good, see you then,” she says. I nod, heading out. I was in the bar for at least an hour. Now, I’m full, and ready to go home. I smile as I walk, feeling a lot better. Maybe everything will get better soon. Now, I just need to relax until the border opens again.
I finally come up to my house and sigh in immediate comfort as I see my home. Finally, after a week or two. I walk up and open the door. I open the door and look into the living room. Immediately, I am greeted by various faces. In the living room, I see Derpy, Dinky, Applejack, Pinkie, Twilight, Fluttershy, Bacon, Snowy, And Maple. All of them are crowded in the room, surrounding a cake on the coffee table.
“Surprise!” Pinkie says from her spot in the crowd. My eyes slowly widen as I process what’s going on. “Was that better than last time?” Pinkie asks hopefully.
“W-Wait-“ I sputter. “What are you all doing here?” I ask, smiling a little, closing the door behind me.
“This is a ‘You-Got-Home party!” Pinkie says excitedly, pointing at the cake. I look at it to see the words on the cake, iced in red on top of the brown layer.
“Wow, thanks,” I say. The door behind me opens as I hear a panting Whisk.
“Oh Celestia, I think I beat him-“ She stops talking as she looks up to see me looking at her in confusion. She just sighs as she pants and stumbles to the couch.
“A little late Sugarcube,” Applejack says, chuckling.
“I’m sorry, I forgot,” Whisk pants. “S-surprise,” she says weakly. I snicker and pat her head.
“Best surprise ever,” I say.
“Oh! Anon! I got you a muffin! Mom helped me bake it!” Dink’s says, running up to me with a muffin in her telekinetic grip.
“Aw, thanks,” I say, taking it. Derpy smiles and walks up.
“Sorry that I haven’t been visiting a lot, I’ve been so busy with lots and lots of letters!” She says. I nod.
“Understandable,” I say. Maple runs up.
“Uncle Anon!” He practically yells, flying into my stomach for a hug. I hold back a grunt of pain as I pat Maple. “I’m sorry we couldn’t see you, we couldn’t afford to get back here until now.”
“It’s fine Maple,” I say. Now, everyone’s talking as we celebrate my return home. The cake was good, Whisk and I had fun, and everyone felt much better, having been bummed out by various things. I talked to Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie, and Fluttershy. Rarity and Rainbow Dash were busy, and Spike was going with Starlight on a friendship mission or something. Bacon and his family have been doing well, Maple’s been doing good in school, Snowy is getting a promotion soon, and Bacon has been feeling great.
We all talked and partied until it was late, and everyone went home. Whisk and I chill out on the couch, exhausted from the recent events, watching tv. “... This is nice,” I say, rubbing Whisk’s back.
“Yeah... it is,” she agrees, smiling contently. However, I’ll be damned if I’m actually given any fucking peace and quiet. A letter pops into existence and plops onto my coffee table. “A letter?” Whisk asks in confusion. I grab it, opening the paper.
Dear Mr Inspector and Manager of the Manehatten Border Checkpoint,
It is with great excitement that we announce that the Manehatten Border Checkpoint will reopen on September first, 20XXI. On the day it reopens, please be in your regular position as normal. We will resume the Checkpoint’s duties, and continue into the future without hesitation.
From,
I quirk an eyebrow at the missing signature at the bottom. “Weird,” I mutter. Normally, if it’s a formal letter like this, the signature would be written on the bottom. This must have come from either Luna or Celestia, knowing that I would like to hear this now instead of later. I place it back on the table, and sigh as I slightly smile. “Looks like the Border will reopen soon,” I say. Whisk smiles.
“Oh! That’s good!” She says. I nod, closing my eyes, feeling the exhaustion of the past two weeks hit me. “... Will you be okay going back?” She asks. I nod, getting rather sleepy. “... Okay, as long as you say so,” Whisk says. I yawn and nod again.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I mutter. After a few minutes, I nod off, falling asleep on the couch...
Friday, September 1st, 20XXI
I sigh as I exit Old Timey’s, holding a cup of coffee in hand. I haven’t gotten his coffee in fucking forever. I take a sip as I feel the fall weather around me. It’s refreshing, after so many hot days. Whisk got sick, so she’s staying home today. I’m going to pick up some medicine for her when I come home. She’s been having headaches, coughing, sneezing, and occasionally puking. She said she might have gotten it from one of her customers, but she’s not entirely sure.
I arrive at the newly built checkpoint and smile slightly as various guards pass me. Everything looks the same. I walk over to my office building, opening the door. Entering, I see Clipper at her desk, already sorting through letters coming in and out. She gives me a silently wave as she continues to focus on her work. I wave back silently, taking a sip of my coffee as I walk to my office. My office looks the same, though there aren’t any papers in piles or stacks. I look at the clock to see that I have about fifteen minutes left. Sighing, I go to my desk chair, sitting down. I look at my desk lamp, which is red. I open my desk drawers and quirk an eyebrow. In one of the top drawers, there’s a plaque, with my name on etched in it. ‘Anonymous’. It’s able to sit on my desk. I hum in interest and put it on top of my desk, facing the front. I smile at the nice gift before frowning. The only other time I’ve seen a plaque in this room is when Lucky was running the place. I feel confusion as I stare at the plaque, wondering why- “Oh shit!” I exclaim, realizing what this means. I’m not the temporary manager anymore. Clipper bursts into the room, panicked.
“What’s wrong!?” She asks. I lean back as disbelief washes over me.
“... I’m the manager,” I say. Clipper blinks before looking at me in confusion.
“Um, yeah?” She says questioningly.
“W-when did I become the fucking manager?” I ask myself, rubbing my head.
“Weren’t you already the manager?” Clipper asks.
“I mean, kind of? I was more of a substitute than anything else,” I say. “I thought they would hire someone else later, but apparently...”
“Oh! So, you got a promotion?” Clipper asks. I shrug.
“I guess...” I look at the clock before sighing. “Well, I have to go do my first job,” I say, getting up.
“Alright, I’ll hold the fort!” Clipper says, saluting. I chuckle and pat her head as I pass.
“Good. Tomorrow, I’ll give you more instructions on what you’ll do. Take care,” I say. Clipper nods as I leave.
It’s noon. I’m tired. I want to go home. Two weeks of doing nothing has certainly had an affect, apparently. I just finished up taking civilians when a knock sounds at my door. “Um, Anon? It’s Sergui,” a voice calls. I sigh.
“If it’s something stupid, I’ll personally kick your ass,” I mutter.
“... So, can I come in?”
“I don’t know, do you still have your balls?” I ask in agitation. After a moment, Segway opens the door slowly and walks in, his head hanging low, and ears folded back. “Someone looks depressed,” I mutter.
“Hey, uh... I wanted to tell you something,” he says nervously.
“Then fuckin’ say it instead of building up to it,” I mutter, getting out some paperwork I wanted to get done. As I tap some of the papers to get in a better formation, I look up to see Segway’s fearful gaze. He looks terrified.
“U-um, well, uh...” he stumbles on his words, making me sigh. I turn towards him and grab him by his shoulders.
“Look, Segway,” I say gently. “If there’s something you want to say, say it. If it’s something you’re afraid to say because it might affect me or someone else, I want you to especially say it soon. The sooner we know, the sooner it’ll clear up.”
“I-it’s not that easy,” Segway mutters.
“It never is,” I say. “But that’s why I’m an ass most of the time. There’s no sense in politeness and courtesy if it stops people from doing what’s needed to be done, or if it stops someone from fixing a problem.”
“But, what if it hurts you?” He asks. I get a flashback to the Minotaur that almost killed me, a creature I had detained and insulted because of a reason I don’t even remember now. I simply sigh and pat Segway’s back.
“It’s a choice I’m willing to make for the sake of the people around me, because everyone else seems to be too fucking incompetent half of the time,” I answer simply. “I’m not going to be nice if that means someone gets hurt.” Segway looks at me for a moment before looking down in thought. “However, that’s just me. I don’t give a fuck about what you decide to do for the moment,” I add, releasing him to go back to work. Before I can, he stops me by holding my arm with his physics-defying hoof.
“... Anon, I’m a... I’m a spy,” he says, bracing himself for something.
“... Okay,” I say simply. Segway looks up, confusion etched onto his face.
“What?”
“Yeah, I kinda figured that out,” I say, taking a paper to read over it.
“W-when?”
“I dunno, like, three or four months ago. Remember when I came over to your place?” I ask. He blinks in shock before he gulps.
“W-who else-“
“No one, I figured I should give you a chance,” I say. I actually didn’t know what to do, so I’ll just put that excuse out there.
“S-So... w-what does that mean for me?” He asks anxiously.
“That you’ve been walking on thin ice since then and you’ve managed to continue being a decent dude,” I say, writing ‘fuck you’ on a form. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
“...” Segway stands in place, frozen in astonishment.
“How’d you convince the guard that you were a part of it to begin with?” I ask absentmindedly. Segway clears his throat.
“Uh, f-forged paperwork,” he stutters
“Damn, didn’t know they were slacking off that much,” I say jokingly.
“Anon, p-please,” He says, making me to look at him. “This is a war, I’m a spy, and I know you’re not the forgiving type.” He looks up at me with tears. “J-just arrest me. I’ll go quietly-“
“Oh fuck no!” I yell. He reels back in surprise. “I did not withhold information from all of the Royal Guard, including Spearhead, for three months, just for you to fuck off into a prison cell!” I bonk his helmet, making him recompose himself. “You dumbass, go back to work before I start kicking your ass to Canterlot.” Segway looks at me in surprise as I smirk.
“A-Anon-“
“Did I fucking stutter?” I ask. He stares at me for a minute before wiping away his tears and saluting me.
“No sir!” He says loudly, making me cover my ears.
“Aw fuck! What did I tell you about yelling in my office!?” I yell back. He drops his grin as he scrambles to leave, making me quietly laugh. “Fucking moron,” I say humorously, going back to my paperwork. Thank God that’s off my chest. Now, for some paperwork...