Chapter 19: Fuckin’ Who? Nah, Fucka You. (Re-rewritten)
I keep my eyes on the TV as the sun shines through the windows, into the living room. I haven’t slept in a couple of days, ever since I got laid off. Whisk has been trying to support me, emotionally speaking, but we got into an argument yesterday. It was over the griffons. I’m standing my ground on not keeping them, no matter what. I know for fact that I’m not father material. After all, my actual father was a pretty shitty example. I face palm and sigh deeply. The argument Whisk and I had was left off on a bad note, namely about the part where I called her an arrogant bitch.
Yesterday
I walk into the living room, cup of coffee in hand. I stop as I see Whisk looking at a catalog for baby toys. “... Whisk, what are you doing?” I ask. She yelps and quickly shuts the catalog close before turning to me with a nervous smile. I sigh and set down my mug on the coffee table. “Whisk, we talked about this,” I say, sitting down. She sighs as well.
“I know, but couldn’t you try?” She asks me. I shake my head.
“Whisk, we’ve only been dating for less than a year. There is no way in hell we can be parents,” I point out. Whisk frowns.
“Well, I’ve helped raise Maple before, while he was a baby,” she says. “Snowy wasn’t always there for him you know.”
“Well, yeah, but he had a good father figure Whisk,” I reply. “I’m not Bacon, I’m me.” I take a sip from my mug.
“And what’s wrong with you?” Whisk asks. I hold out my hand.
“I curse nonstop.” Four fingers left. “I’m too relaxed about some things, and not others.” Three. “I’ve never actually raised a kid before.” Two. “I’m not a people person.” One. “And I’m probably a toxic person.” Whisk shakes her head.
“Anon, don’t be ridiculous. Maybe if you try-“
“Well, I don’t want to try yet,” I interrupt irritably. Whisk leans away after I snap, but scoffs.
“This isn’t something you know how to do,” Whisk retorts. I scoff right back.
“Yes it is, you have to know psychological basics, how to respond-“
“No, no you really don’t,” Whisk stops me. I frown at her. “Being a first time parent is more of a crash course. Canad didn’t know how to be a father, but look at Maple! If that clumsy brother of mine could do it, so can you.” I grit my teeth a little.
“Like I said Whisk, I’m not Bacon,” I argue, losing my patience.
“You don’t have to be a nice person to be a father Anon,” Whisk says. I give a sarcastic laugh.
“Yeah, that’s what my dad said before whipping me with a belt for spilling his drink. I’m such a good example of a successful-“
“Well you’re not your father, are you Anon?” Whisk asks, losing her patience as well. “You just have to take note of what to do, and not to-“
“You know, you don’t have to sound like an arrogant bitch to tell me all that,” I remark, cutting her off. She stops talking immediately, falling silent as I take a calm sip of my coffee.
“... You know what? I don’t even have to talk to you at all,” Whisk replies, getting up to go to bed. I roll my eyes and continue sipping my coffee.
Present
I keep staring at the TV, unsure of what to do. I admit, I was much more of an asshole than usual yesterday. I sigh deeply as I mentally kick myself. Way to fucking go dude, you fucked up on talking to your girlfriend. Your Ex’s way of talking to you was shit? Why not do the same fucking thing! Absolutely marvelous! I place my face in my hands as I take a breath in and breath out in an attempt to stop my rising feelings of frustration. I look up to see the black and white picture of Whisk, smiling at the camera. Her purple feathers are still taped on. I stare at the picture before sighing again. I need to apologize to her, as soon as possible. However, I know for fact that saying ‘I’m sorry’ has about as much of an effect as pissing in the wind. I go back to my original position on the couch and think of what to do...
Meanwhile
The day has been very busy for Sergeant Buff. He has yet to make a single citation. He questions why anybody would have trouble with passport inspection. So far, he has yet to lose his glare upon anyone that enters. This is to forgo the niceties for the foreigners.
“Your response is incorrect,” he critics an entrant, denying him instantly.
“W-Wait, it was an honest mistake!” The changeling entrant replies. “I-I meant to say-“
“Too late bug. Get out,” Buff replies coldly. The changeling sobs as he leaves. Buff leans towards the mic. “Next!”
The next entrant is a yak, who freezes upon seeing the sergeant. “Huh? Is this right Checkpoint? Where is this, ‘human’ yak hears about?” He asks.
“Papers please,” the sergeant replies indifferently.
“Uh, does pony not hear yak?” The yak replies. The sergeant’s eye twitches subtly.
“Papers. Please. Sir,” he says impatiently.
“Hm, Checkpoint is not as fun as other yak says!” The yak yells. The sergeant deepens his glare.
“Sir, If you want to pass, I need your passport and identification,” Buff presses. The yak grumbles as he hands the sergeant his passport. Buff looks at the passport. “Length and reason of stay.”
“Yak is representative! Yak stay for month!” The yak says loudly. The volume of his voice is giving Buff a migraine and a headache at the same time. The pony gives the yak a green stamp and gives back his papers.
“Cause no trouble,” he says. The yak snorts.
“Pony must watch tone,” the yak warns. He walks out, hoping the rest of Manehatten wasn’t as bad as the pony he just met. He starts to reconsider the choice of offering the Equestrians help since that was apparently how they act.
An hour later, Buff rubs his snout as he prepares himself to face the last entrant for today. He feels joy as he realizes he won’t have to deal with another entrant for the rest of the day. Mentally prepared, he leans towards the mic. “Next!”
The last entrant brings a shock to the sergeant as she enters the room. Queen Chrysalis. The entrant in question stops when she notices the temporary Inspector. . “... You’re not Anon,” she remarks. Buff coughs as he recomposes himself.
“You have a lot of nerve coming in here,” he responds in an attempt to show no fear. The queen scoffs.
“You have a lot of nerve being alive,” she replies, handing him her passport. The sergeant narrows his eyes.
“Is that a threat?” He asks. Chrysalis chuckles darkly.
“No, you idiot. I’d be much more creative than that,” she says. The pony glares for a few seconds longer before looking at her papers. “I’m visiting for a couple weeks, checking on family and such,” Chrysalis says. After a couple minutes of silence, the queen sighs. “You know, you’re such a bore. At least Anon had a spine.” The sergeant is holding every comment he has from escaping his mouth by biting his tongue. After a minute, he points at the gender indication in confusion.
“Why does it say Male and Female?” He asks. The queen scoffs.
“Spineless and brainless,” she replies. Before she could explain what the gender thing is about, Buff stamps her with denial. She frowns as he smugly hands her passport back. “Do you really think you’ve won?” She asks. She takes her passport, just as the citation machines starts clicking. The sergeant looks at the printed paper in surprise. “I’m a changeling you idiot, do the math.” With that, she leaves the small office with a smirk. Sure, she didn’t pass, but the pony’s reactions was definitely worth it.
It’s the next day, Sergeant Buff sits in the Insoector’s office with unease. The paperwork was easy yesterday, even though he had to double check the legalities of everything. He won’t let some stupid ape beat him in terms of smarts and wits after all. He takes a moment to calm his nerves and consider his situation in regards to Celestia’s bet. He’s got one last chance, but it’s not even the third day. Right now, he just needs to carefully think about everything. He takes another breath and leans towards the mic. “Next.”
The first entrant is an earth pony, purple with black hair, wearing a black coat. He comes in with a confident smirk. He hands the solider his passport before going on a rant. “Hiya bud, listen, I gots important business comin’ in. So, mind hurrying up?” Buff just sighs and starts checking the passport quickly. “Come on bud! I’m wastin’ daylight with your sluggish mug!” Buff grits his teeth. He reminds himself that, at the very least, it’s not a foreigner. “Hurry it up will ya?” The pony rushes. Buff groans and slams the green stamp onto the paper. “Finally! In the time it took you to do that, I coulda went to Griffonstone and back!” He complains, taking his papers as he leaves.
Sergeant Buff sighs as the pony leaves... only to hear the printing of a citation. He blinks in confusion before looking at the pink slip.
Weight did not match, possible smuggler passed.
Buff’s eye twitches before he groans in frustration. “Celestia dammit!” He yells.
The day continues on, with very little action. Buff carefully scans each passport with his eyes, never wasting a second. When the limit for civilian entrants was reached, he leans back and gives a sigh of relief. The office’s door opens, causing him tense back up and face whoever entered. “At ease,” Celestia says, walking up. The sergeant complies and returns to staring at the empty room through the window. “I see you’ve gotten three citations already.”
“... Yes ma’am.”
“Well, at the very least, you did better than most. However, a deal is a deal. I strongly advise you to take Anon back.” Buff snorts.
“With all due respect, no. I refuse to take him back.” Celestia frowns.
“Why?”
“He has no respect for higher ups, including you. He has a record for having a sarcastic reply to everything. He’s vulgar, disrespectful, and above all else, he’s not a pony.” Celestia grimaces. While she does wish Anon has a bit more respect for her, it is slightly refreshing to see that she’s treated like everyone else. His sarcastic and cynical nature is certainly not appreciated by ponies, but most other creatures seem to have a liking to it. Ponies might not like it, but diplomats do. His sarcastic and disrespectful nature seems to impress some of them anyway, like the griffons. What’s more, since he’s not a pony, it feels like his decisions are a bit more balanced in a way. She sighs as she tries to think of a way to convince the stubborn sergeant. She cannot force him to take Anon, due to a law that was passed one thousand years ago. See, Celestia is not good with wars. Luna was, but not Celestia. Celestia was more of a talker than a fighter. Thus, when Luna was gone, she had decided to lend military matters to a certain branch of government. However, Celestia wasn’t as careful about creating laws back then due to her naivety towards the handling of ‘lawyer talk.’ Long story short, she accidentally agreed to not interfere with military orders concerning personnel under certain conditions. In this case, a higher officer classified Anon as ‘not-useful/necessary’, and Celestia can’t really put in her two cents, no matter how high of a role she plays.
“... Sergeant, I won’t force you to take him back. I realize he gets on most ponies’ nerves. He certainly gets on mine. However, his diligence and rational thinking is needed at this Checkpoint. Please consider-“ Celestia is interrupted by a door opening behind her. They turn towards the office’s door to see a purple griffon, carrying two little griffons in a basket. She’s also extremely pissed. Celestia recognizes her as Whisk.
“Excuse me, were you Anon’s boss?” She asks the sergeant, paying no mind to the solar diarch.
“Ma’am, are you allowed to be in here?” The sergeant asks harshly. Whisk turns to Celestia.
“Permission granted,” Celestia says, answering Buff’s question. Whisk nods and walks up to the soldier.
“Wha- but-“
“Now you listen here you slimy son of a bitch,” Whisk starts. “Anon worked his ass off for your bullshit. He’s been patient, loyal, and tolerant.”
“Who do you think you-“
“Shut the buck up while I’m talking,” she interrupts harshly. The sergeant closes his mouth instantly. “I know he’s kind of a jackass, but he has more common sense than all you pea-brained numbskulls combined! He might not be a pony, but at least he acts like an actual bucking adult. It’s not his fault you’re too Celestia damn stupid to see that a pony’s life is just as important as everyone else’s.” The venom in Whisk’s voice is practically dripping. “So, grow some bucking balls, and get him back here.” The pony scoffs.
“I don’t take orders from you. Besides, who else actually cares about the stupid ape anyway?” He asks. Whisk starts to reply, but the sound of someone clearing their throat stops them. Everyone looks over in surprise to see Twilight, giving a confident smile. Whisk smiles back. Perfect timing.
“Princess Twilight,” the sergeant says, bowing.
“Please rise. I want to show you something,” she says simply. She gestures the sergeant to walk outside with her. The pony walks out, confusion on his face. Upon leaving the small office, his eyes widen as he sees a small crowd of various creatures, most of which are ponies. “Earlier today, I started gathering up anyone willing to help Anon. I actually didn’t expect to get so many creatures.” Twilight turns to Buff. “Please listen to them sergeant. It might be worth it.” Two hippogriffs come up first. A blue hippogriff, and an orange hippogriff.
“Back in our country, our relationship was considered illegal. We barely managed to escape with our lives,” the blue one says.
“When the Human looked at our passports, he realized that I had made a terrible mistake. However, he gave me a chance for some bizarre reason,” the orange one says with a smile. “Now, I’m much happier where I am, and no one judges our relationship.” They step back as a pony walks up. He laughs as he approaches.
“Anon is one of best inspectors I know! He never gave me any special treatment, despite the pay I could give him. Now, we’re close friends! He got me to quit selling drugs. When he continued to believe in me, I tried to get new job! Now, I have happy wife, happy job, happy life!” The strangely accented pony laughs. A crystal pony mare walks up with a slight smile.
“Whenever I go to a Checkpoint, I’m always embarrassed from being the way I am. The questioning looks I get from the inspectors is always a little off putting since I look like a mare. However, Anon just didn’t care. No fuss, no problems.” A blue pony with a purple hat and cape walks up.
“Trixie was almost denied from the Human’s Checkpoint. If he had denied Trixie, Trixie would have to go back to that blasted Minotaur Country without anything! Trixie was actually broke at the time,” she says. A grey pegasus walks up.
“Mr Anon is such a nice guy! I’ve known him for years, and he’s always patient with me! Once, I forgot my passport, but he let me in on the promise that I get him some muffins! They were pretty good muffins too!” Celestia gazes at the crowd of ponies that have gathered to defend Anon. A zebra walks up to share her story.
“Anon is not a foe, but a friend. He’s always been fair, to the end. He cares not for lust or wealth. Hence why I suggest you get over yourself.” An orange earth pony walks up.
“Anon’s a work load, I’d know, but he’s pretty lenient on a lot of things. He just doesn’t like to tolerate none of ya’ll’s nonsense,” she chuckles. A blue pegasus swoops down.
“He might be a jerk, but he’s alright,” she adds. A yak comes up.
“Human is Best Human! Yak likes Best Human!” He yells. Celestia continues to smile as everyone gives out their protest to Anon’s dismissal. Suddenly, she feels a tug on her wing. Celestia looks down to see Whisk nervously looking at her. Raising a brow, Celestia leans down to hear the griffon.
“Hey, uh, I kinda have a problem,” she says. She coughs uncomfortably, gesturing towards the two little griffons. “See, uh, Anon and I are in a predicament...”
After going inside to one of the office buildings to continue their conversation, Celestia nods as Whisk finishes up explaining her recent tales. “... This is definitely tricky,” Celestia says. “... Are you sure you-“
“Princess, with respect, I’ve been checking everywhere to see if someone wants to adopt,” Whisk interrupts. Celestia secretly taps the magic of her horn to see if Whisk is telling the truth. She can't really believe the words she's been saying. “I’ve asked around, I’ve put up papers, I’ve gone to orphanages... No one’s willing,” Whisk says. Celestia’s face turns to confusion as she sees Whisk isn’t lying.
“N-no one?” Celestia asks incredulously. She stops as she remembers the world’s situation and sighs. “Well, I guess it makes sense. The world is in a torn up state of distrust, and economic problems certainly aren’t helping,” she mutters.
“So what am I supposed to do?” Whisk asks worriedly. “I-I don’t want to abandon them, but I can’t just keep them! I-I think I’ve already been pushing my luck with how long we’ve had them already.”
“... Come, we need to talk to Anon. I believe there is a way to compromise,” Celestia says. Whisk shakes her head.
“Wouldn't he see that as a bad thing?” Whisk asks. “I mean, I don’t want to make him mad-“
“I understand, but you really do have limited options,” Celestia says. “I’m not going to suggest that he should be forced to be a father, but I think I know how there can be a decent solution.” As Celestia turns, Whisk stops her.
“Hey, uh, I have another question,” she says. Celestia stops and turns to her with a patient smile. “... Why are you vouching for him so much now?” She asks. Celestia blinks.
“W-what?”
“It’s just...” Whisk rubs her arm uncomfortably. “... Whenever Anon talks about you, he’s never mentioned you would care this much. He kinda gave the impression that you didn’t care about him at all, until recently.” Celestia takes a breath and gives out a long sigh, trying to think of how to explain it.
“... I admit, normally I wouldn’t put this much effort into something of this little magnitude-“
“Oh for buck’s sake, give me a straight answer,” Whisk mutters. Celestia stops to look at Whisk for moment, before bursting into giggles.
“Alright. I guess the simplest way to put it is, I realized that I made many errors upon judging Anon,” she says. She frowns as she continues. “From the moment I knew of his existence, I never really paid much mind. I thought he would not prove to be much use of my time since other priorities seemed bigger at the time. I trusted Twilight to continue making sure he wasn't a problem. I uh, I kind of forgot about him.”
“Wait, you forgot about a new, alien species existing in your country?” Whisk asks, bemusement slowly forming on her face. Celestia sighs.
“Well, it was brought to my attention that Twilight had summoned him. I figured she could handle him, and I realize that’s where my first mistake started,” Celestia admits. “I kept tabs on him, of course, but I never really interacted with him. All I needed to know at first was whether he was dangerous or not.”
“Awfully stupid,” Whisk comments.
“I see Anon’s charm rubbed off on you,” Celestia remarks, smirking. “In any case, it kind of escalated after we made that fateful bet. However, I only truly realized how wrong I was about him on the second month he was working, when he almost sacrificed himself for others..." Celestia shakes her head, disappointed by her earliest actions. "From there, I paid more and more attention. I realized that he was rather smart and somehow kind to others, a combination that is rare to find. Thus, I decided that I owe him, though I know I won't be able to live down that admittance if Anon knew." Whisk stares at Celestia with bemusement.
"... So, basically, you feel like you owe him," she says. Celestia rolls her eyes and nods. "Alright, just say that next time."
Later...
I sit on the couch, stuck in thought of what I want to do to make it up to Whisk. Suddenly, however, a bright flash appears. I blink in confusion as I regain my sight, seeing Luna. "Luna? The hell are you doing here?' I ask. She smirks.
"Thou hast dosed off. We're in your dream Anon," she says. "We sensed thou was-"
"Bitch bitch, go away, fuck with someone else today," I chant. Luna frowns at my antics, but continues.
"Anon, we know thou is troubled by recent events. I'd like to assure you that we will deal the this sergeant as swiftly as possible," she says. I sigh, rubbing my face. Normally, I'd resist a bit harder about talking about my problems, but I can't think of anything else to do to fix this.
"Well, that's not what's bothering me," I mutter. Luna quirks an eyebrow. "It's... I..." I struggle to find what I specifically want to say. "... I guess I'm just angry," I mutter.
"Anon, there are very few creatures that are angry for no reason. Thous is not one of them," Luna says. I feel her hop onto the couch and wrap a wing around my back.
"I didn't ask for this," I half-assedly complain.
"Thou didn't have to," she replies. "Now, tell us what's wrong."
"... I guess it's just... I snapped at Whisk, but I really shouldn't have," I start. "I should've sat down and actually talked to her about it, but my dumbass just did what I normally do..."
"Anon, canst thou elaborate to us?" Luna asks. I explain the situation as quickly as I can, earning a concerned frown. "... I see... In that case, can you tell us what you mean when you say 'actually talk'?" I sigh.
"Well, I uh... I kinda lied about those reasons I told Whisk," I say. "I just wanted to give some sort of response that makes sense."
"I see, you had an answer, but not a sensible answer," Luna says. I nod.
"Thanks for the recap episode," I mutter. "You see, I know I could be a decent father. I'm an uncle for two different kids, but when I think of being an actual parent..." I think of my Dad, gazing at me in disappointment, taking his flask and- The room suddenly morphs into my chidhood room. A bed in the corner, a desk with some haphazardly stacked Pokemon cards and a lamp, and a closet with my clothes in it. Luna and I sit on the bed, barely fitting on it. I notice two other figures in the room with us. A smaller, younger version of me standing the middle of the room, and an adult at the doorway. I put on a blank expression as I allow the scene to play in front of me.
"So... You thought you could just skip school?" a deep voice asks. "Make the teachers call me, make me look stupid?"
"Dad, I'm sorry, but I-" The man takes his flask from his pocket and slams it into the side of my head.
"No excuses!" He barks. "I had to stop what I was working on just to find your scraggily ass and bring it home! Do you have any idea how disrespectful that is!?" He yells. I sigh and think of my house. Just like that, before the scene went on, everything goes back to where it was before.
"W-what was-"
"I was fifteen, skipped school to visit a friend in the hospital. Everyone thought I was either doing drugs, or just looking to steal something. Dad found out, got me home, and punished me for checking on someone." I sigh. "The teachers looked so proud of themselves when they saw my black eye the next day. They didn't know what actually happened, but they thought I got what was coming to me." Luna sighs, shaking, and wraps her hooves around me.
"We are sorry," she says. "Things like this happen a lot, sadly. I had hoped something like that did not happen to you." I shrug.
"Well, I was the only one he hit, so it's fine." Luna shakes her head.
"Tis is not an adequate situation Anon."
"Mhmm."
"... May I guess as to why you do not wish to have children?" She asks.
"Sure, fuck it."
"Does thou, perhaps, believe thou art not worthy?" She guesses.
"Eh, something like that," I respond.
"... Does thou think thou would not be a suitable father-figure?" She tries. I nod.
"That's probably the best way to describe it." I sit back and sigh. "Luna, I've lived with an asshole for more than half of my life. I sort of know how to take care of a kid, but I don't know how to be a better role model." Luna blinks.
"... We honestly expected a different answer," she mutters.
"I honestly want to take them in," I say. "But, what if I mess up being a normal father?" Luna scoffs.
"Anon, nopony is 'normal'," she deadpans.
"Well, I meant it in role modeling terms," I mutter. "I'm fine with a kid staying a day or two, but constantly? I don't know if I can do that," I say. Luna hums in acknowledgement. "... Maybe I'll have to just, get over it?" I ask aloud. Luna shakes her head.
"Of course not Anon, that is a last resort if anything," Luna says. I nod.
"... Hey Luna, how does Whisk feel about all this?" I ask. Luna blinks in surprise before smiling.
"She is just as puzzled as thou," she answers. "We figured that thou would have figured out this dilemma by now." I roll my eyes, but nod.
"Yeah, I thought so too," I mutter. “... Should I tell Whisk the real reason?”
“Verily,” Luna says. “It is not a jest, thus Whisk shall take it seriously.” I nod.
“... Cool,” I say. Luna nods in reply.
“... Well, it seems our visit is being cut here,” Luna says. I quirk an eyebrow at her, but before I could ask what she meant, the world goes white as I wake up.
I slowly open my eyes and hear Whisk. “Anon, please wake up. I uh, need to talk to you.” I rub my eyes and look around to find Celestia and Whisk across from me. I open my mouth to say something stupid, but I shut it immediately. Now’s not a time for jokes. I sigh.
“Why’s Buttlord here?” I ask. I said I wouldn’t say anything stupid, but I’m still willing to say something insulting.
“I heard about your recent predicament, regarding children,” she says. I frown.
“Really? And why does it concern you?” I ask. Whisk sighs.
“Long story, but please try to let her help. She might have a good idea,” Whisk says pleadingly. I start to retort, but I stop myself. I don’t have any other ideas at the moment. Celestia might have an answer for once.
“Fine,” I say tiredly. Celestia nods.
“Okay, Anon, I must ask. I know what Whisk has said, but is there another reason why you do not-“
“Long story short, got daddy issues, and I’m afraid I’ll make his mistakes as a role model,” I say. Celestia blinks in surprise. “I got a visit from Moonbutt, I kinda had this conversation already,” I mutter irritably.
“Oh. Um...” Celestia rubs the back of her neck with a hoof. “... I kind of expected this to drag on.” I shrug.
“Wait, hold on,” Whisk says. She turns to me with confusion. “So, can you kind of explain that to me?” She asks.
“... Well, I guess the simplest way to say it, is that I don’t want to be a role model for them,” I say. “I don’t want to really be seen as their dad.” Whisk nods, processing what I’m saying. “You see, I’m afraid that if they think of me as their father, they’ll be disappointed or something like that.”
“... I believe I have a solution,” Celestia says. I quirk an eyebrow towards her as Whisk looks at her with confusion. “In Canterlot, we have the resources to carefully give the children a suitable home, just hand them to me.” Whisk and I blink before Whisk smiles.
“So they’ll have a home?” She asks. Celestia nods, smiling. Whisk and I give a big sigh of relief, hugging each other. She turns to me and hugs me. “Oh thank you, I was so worried. I’m so sorry for everything Anon, I didn’t-“
“it’s in the past,” I say. “But for future reference, let’s not go through that shit again.” Whisk nods, hugging tighter.
“Alright then, it’s official,” Celestia says. “I shall have the little griffons sent to a foster home. If either of you require anything else-
“I want to ask you something,” I start. Celestia stops and looks at me. “... What are you playing at here?” I ask. She sighs. “Every time you’re really nice, you want something. I know you’re a good puppeteer. So tell me, why all this sudden concern?” I ask. Whisk doesn’t bother letting me go, instead deciding that I’m too comfy.
“... I’ll reveal it to you one day Anon, but not today,” Celestia says. With that, she teleports out of the house. I grimace at that.
“Sounds like ominous foreshadowing that sends red flags to normal people, but okay,” I say sarcastically. Whisk sighs.
“...”
“... Whisk, are you okay?” I ask. She nods.
“... I just... I’m just hoping we won’t fight each other anymore,” she says. I sigh, patting her head.
“It’s fine Whisk, but don’t fight me so hard on something like this ever again, okay?” I ask. She slightly nods her head.
“Okay,” she answers. “I’m sorry...”
“You don’t have to-“
“Yes I do,” she intjects. “I was bitchy, and-“ I stop her by gently grabbing her head and guiding it to look at me.
“Do you see this face?” I ask. “Does this look like the face of ‘I’m going to beat the shit out of you’?” Whisk shakes her head. “Then it’s fine. At the very least, you apologized. That’s more than what most people have done Whisk.” I peck her head with a kiss. “From now on, do you promise to try and be patient before making an end-all-be-all decision?” I ask her. She nods, going back to hugging me. I pat her head. “Okay. As long as you keep that promise,” I say.
Meanwhile
Sergeant Buff sits on his couch, wondering what he should do. Seeing the amount of creatures, both pony and non-pony, vouching for Anon, has kinda put him on edge. It could actually hurt the Checkpoint’s reputation if he turns him down again. However, his higher ups kind of don’t care about reputation at the moment, having bigger concerns about the war front. Yet again, if he turns down the ape, the higher up of the higher ups will not view that as a favorable action. But even still, his higher ups are still majorly in control of various of the Checkpoint due to the war. Sergeant Buff growls in frustration, wondering why the hell this ape has so many creatures doing this for him. However, before he could continue these thoughts, a knock on the door interrupts him. He sighs and gets up.
Opening the door, he can see a regular pegasus, lighting a cigarette. “Can I help you?” Buff asks.
“Well, Yeah, but I’d rather you help a friend of our’s,” he responds. Suddenly, the door slams open, throwing Buff to the ground as a large earth pony busts in. The pegasus walks in, casually smoking. “You see, our boss noticed that a certain creature stopped working at a certain Checkpoint. Then, he kinda got mad.” He stops to breathe in, and blow out the smoke. “When there’s a problem, he sends us to fix the problem.” The earth pony pops his neck. “When we can’t fix it, the boss just sends him the next time.” The pegasus gestures to the other pony as he blows out some smoke. “Now, I don’t like going to our boss with bad news, and the big guy here doesn’t like cleaning up his messes. So, we got a proposition for ya.” Sergeant Buff starts getting up, but the earth pony stomps on him to make him go back down. The pegasus leans down, putting out his cigarette on the carpet in front of Buff’s face. “Take the ape back, or else.” With that, the pegasus gives him a final kick in the stomach before walking out, with the earth pony in tow.
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Damn, Anon did a favor to a master of crime, but I forgot who actually would be. Even the chief of crime enjoyed to have annon as border inspector? I would be extreme surprised if was in fact Dusty. The pony who usually is a kind but a supreme master of crime, while trying act as foal and anon being a ruge friend of him created so strong friendship. Or was somepony I forgot. Who would be?
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I actually forgot the name I gave the dude, but I mentioned him at some point during Whisk’s bar almost being closed
9678033
Okay, thanks.
Me: Alexa, play Godfather Theme Song.
>Be Me
> Human Laid off from my job
>Be on good terms with local crime boss
>mfw local crime boss ruffs up the turd that laid me off
9678111
>Be me
>Human with bad attitude
>Be Really Lucky On Accident
>Get in good with a crime boss because you accidentally got rid of his rival
>Get laid off from my job one day
>Ex boss gets in some rough business not even a week later
Nice to see so many wanting Anon back to work
. Even the Mob
.
Ah, the power of friendship
Your Discord link is broken.......
Oh... Boy.... Buff seems a little... miffed?
Your still too damn nice.
Now we get to see what Buff is made of. What are the odds he'll cave?
When you got a notorious mob group owing "you" favors and the Don personally gives the order to "fix" your problem, that is when you know you are a Boss.
Hahahahahahah, GET WRECKED YOU ARROGANT XENOPHOBE!!!
Sad thing is Buff is lucky here. Could just as likely had his entire house smashed by yaks with diplomatic immunity.
I can see why you're not totally happy with this chapter, but I can also see that it has the fundamentals needed to be a great chapter.
And why would he go back? Hes rich as hell, and the boss is a hypocrite without any actual respect for him.
Also Whisk is in fact an absolute bitch. She says she can't and shouldn't force him to be a dad, but that is exactly what she is doing. He does not have a choice, she does not care (which has me shocked and appalled), and is separating from him and making him choose to be forced into something he has no desire for if he wants to be in a relationahip with her. Personally I'm beginning to think she isn't worth the trouble.
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Thank you.
She offered him the illusion of choice (with the kids), nothing more. 'We still have the kids, just at a distance.' Well...that's not much of a choice for him. She's moved out; Anon can either keep up things with her and deal with the kids (which is what Whisk wants/is manipulating him to do,) or not.
He has recognized that he doesn't want kids for MULTIPLE reasons (and given very valid issues he still needs to work out in a relationship first, let alone if ever a parent. That's on top of flat out stating 'No.' He has made his PoV very clear, even AFTER Whisk blew him off the first time.
He. Said. No. Rather early on, if I recall. (PLUS gave personal reasons.)
And now, Whisk completely throws his wishes out the window. Period. There is no understanding; it's a 'deal with it because that's how it's going to be, because I want it, but oh, I'm not forcing you...'
Now that I think about it, what Whisk is doing is rather subversive, scummy, and straight up manipulative; the antithesis of what she started out to be. I can't speak for others; but if my significant other just decided to randomly pick up some kids, let alone treat my view and wishes like this, that'd be a clear deal breaker for me. You don't treat someone you care about like that.
I'm not sure if this decision was thought through; but this entire 'kids' thing has exposed a severe character flaw, if not a jarring outright instability and regression of development.
I'm not pleased with this at all; if anything, I'm rather disgusted by the underhand writing of making this relationship a manipulative one, especially with an individual who already has issues of their own.
Is there a particular reason that this random sergeant is being given as much autonomy and spine as he is? There's nothing at all stopping Celestia from ordering him to do anything she wants, replacing him with someone who isn't willing to constantly (and now publicly) defy her to her face, or have him fired for insubordination, yet she keeps acting meek and powerless about a low-ranking enlisted member of her military during a time of war (or at least escalating conflicts). I get dragging out the conflict to tell the story, but it's bordering onto ridiculous. She made a bet with him that she won and he's still defying her wishes in order to exercise the kind of racism and xenophobia that helped cause the war they're in in the first place!
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Weeellll, this is why I said I wasn’t happy about this chapter. It’s not what I really wanted to portray, but I’ve taken up too much time already to consider redoing the entire chapter. I WILL rewrite it some day soon to try and do it correctly before the next chapter is released. I know this is probably a beyond stupid and bullshit sounding move, and I realize it most likely is, but I’ll be redoing it and publishing it in the next three to four weeks.
9678822
Understandable, but keep in mind, this is a problem that has been inherent from the get-go, not just this chapter. Ever since the kids were introduced, the dynamic shifted. Re-write or not (unless extensive,) the core elements would remain, and that's the problem.
Whisk wants to keep kids. Anon says no, Whisk keeps kids/chooses them over him(essentially), Anon is forced to either accept that or not. That is, at the core, the issue. Whisk ignores Anon and does her own thing, thereby making it a manipulative ultimatum, hoping he'll accept it or change. That's the root of it. It'd be different if it was 'the orphanage has an opening in three months' but instead, it's indefinite.
This chapter is just a culmination of the slow progression of it all.
God I love it when racists get their just deserts. Just wish that knife had gone a little more to the side.
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Aside from giving deserts to people who were hungry for dessert, it's somewhat unnerving to watch radicalization take place in real time.
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Sorry, i just hate people that go out of their way to ruin your life, all because of of how i was born.
That. Was. Wonderful. Thank you.
When she was first introduced I didn't like Whisk.
Mostly becauses she distracted from the parts of the story I was interested in and she seemed destructive without the good side Anon had been developing. Since then things have changed. I feel like the way you introduced her and the way she's grown has made here even more likable. In fact I'd go as far as to say she's now my favorite OC love interest of all time (though that's not saying much as I don't read a ton of romance).
The Magic Of Friendship, works even with the Mob.
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Right, which makes you wish for death for fictional (and most likely non-fictional) characters because of their beliefs. Nobody likes racism, but you thinking violence is justified against words is even worse; it's heading towards the line of thought that "Any action is justified as long as it's against [a group that can be labeled] because I dislike them and they aren't even people anyway."
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That's just it. Fictional. I'm well aware of the moral and responsible lines in real life.
Ha! Screw you Buff!
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I'd say the reason WHY it makes her seem so terrible is because it goes against what we've seen of her so far. Her and Anon have been beautiful together and she's always cared about what he thinks and feels since her appearance, making this sudden turn of her being willing to choose the kids over him given she hasn't been willing to compromise at all. That she goes and tells ponies off for firing him is contrary to hiw she was acting before, if she cares about him why is it unreasonable for him to have a say in their relationship? Either they're not meant to be equals in their relationship, or she wants Anon to provide her with money to support her new children.
In addition Celestia is just being stupid. She can't even make someone who is her subordinate follow an agreement they made, when she knows it was because of racism Anon was fired. And then there is how she and Luna act like they care, but plainly fucking don't give a single shit about him. They never actually try to do or fix anything despite knowing there ase issues, and their "solution" to the issue of him being ran out of ponyville is to punish Anon (and don't pretend that it wasn't punishment) by making the pony responsible for it his "therapist", making him subordinate to someone who isn't sorry and doesn't care to make things right. Her bringing all these people to the checkpoint to defend him makes no sense either, why is she bothering to actually care at all now? Is it because she isn't the one at fault, so she can make herself look good instead of actually taking any sort of responsibility for her actions?
The worst part is that at this point I simply don't believe that the author is actually going to resolve anything. He's said "You think I don't know X?" and said they'll get their comeuppance, but nothing is ever actually shown. At first this story was great, and the only real flaw was that Anon was unnecessarily vulgar. But now people are being terrible to him, getting away with it, and nobody fucking cares. Yellowtail, you had a great thing going here, and had to go and ruin it by turning the protagonist into a spineless pussy bitch.
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I agree; their dynamic was fantastic at first, and was honestly one of my favorite parts of the story. They were growing together, and Anon was starting to open up. She was one of the few who actually cared, and it showed; he was starting to let himself be helped.
But now? Now, it has just devolved to her choosing the kids over him and generally disregarding his wishes for their relationship, and him in general. (again, this is a multi-chapter issue, NOT just this one- case in point, what Whisk did with the Cat. Same thing) There is no easy fix, if at all. Their relationship has regressed to a manipulative and one-sided one...where Anon is somehow just ok with it. He has stuff he needs to deal with, but apparently Whisk doesn't care enough about that; i.e. has her own priorities that supersede Anon.
Furthermore, he still keeps getting the short end of the stick by everyone...and somehow that's ok?
I'm surprised he hasn't' just put his foot down and walked away. For the most part, most ponies have been pretty scummy towards him. Why is he still living in Equestria again, when pretty much every other race likes him? Heck, he's rich; just go to Mount Aris and romance a hippogriff while working there; because clearly Equestria doesn't really care. I'm sure other races who understand hardship would welcome him with open arms; as demonstrated by yaks, minotaurs, etc.
As you stated, the story started off strong; but inherent character/plot issues have now surfaced, exposing some fundamental flaws. It was mentioned once that Anon may have, at the back of his mind, wondered about kids, but the forcing of the issue just annihilates any natural development.
It feels kinda weird with Buff actually being fairly competent. We all got a feel that ponies sucked at their job too nice or something. then this asshole comes along literally one in a million attitude. He's probably the best damn pony inspector in the kingdom. Feels a waste he got assigned to anon's checkpoint. Maybe he stepped on to many toes.
HA-HA! Flapjack.
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Brownie points awarded to this guy right here
9679648
Luna claimed that she made Twilight the therapist because she was drunk. At first I believed it, but now I'm not so sure.
Add to that, we still aren't answered as to why the Ponyville inhabitants made that immediate 180.
9679474
Can't argue with you there.
That's the thing about asswholes no matter how big of one you are there are people who will like you. After all look a Trump he's a Ass and became president
9689779
Me neither but I legit found it on pornhub
.....
Dangit, it's 10:29 PM here, and now I'm hungry! I need to go to bed, too....
This is going downhill and I don't like it.
Whisk basically is choosing to be a mom and forcing Anon to be father figure but wait....then settles for Uncle figure?!
So they live apart but are still together? Yeah, that's just what Anon needs, more dysfunctional situations. Whisk is becoming a manipulative baggage at this point. Making him take those kids to the checkpoint was reckless. She owns her own bar, she could have taken a day off or taken them there with her. It's more safer at a bar than a war checkpoint. So irresponsible on top of it all. Anon needs to drop her, because nothing good can come of this anymore for him.
And why?! Why does Sgt. possess so much authority?! I am in the military and no way in hell would a low ranking member contain so much authority. He actively back talked to the leader of his nation! That he answers too! And her response is to just let him do his thing that he will eventually break their bet?!
Dumb. Dumb all around. He should have been charged with crimes for attempted theft and removed immediately. Celestia put him in that position and she's just letting the pieces fall even though she can but chooses to have this passive meddling method. It's asinine!
He's there because of Twilight and Co. plus Ponyville's shenanigans. And didn't she teleport him there btw? She should have the decency to actively FIX the situation, especially since there's a damn war going on. Anon is rich as stated in the story. He doesn't need anyone and honestly? He really owes no loyalty to Equestria, not after all the shit they've pulled. He's better off moving elsewhere and honestly, he shouldn't go back at all.
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Yes. All of you are exactly correct. Again, I said I didn’t like the way I wrote it. And again, I’m going to rewrite it. I realize it’s stupid, I realize this chapter is a complete flop of everything I had written so far. I especially realize that Whisk is not how she’s normally presented. It’s a rather stupid mistake on my part because I rushed myself.
I just want to let you know that I’m listening, and I’m going to try to fix it.
9714279
That's great. Other characters halfassing things with Anon, while annoying, is somewhat expected at this point. With Whisk on the other hand it's totally out of character so knowing you're changing things is a breath of fresh air.
9714279
I look forward to seeing how things are changed. I mean, there's a few semi-simple fixes that could work and wouldn't seem like a rushed solution; (and would provide a jumping point for some emotional growth,) but I'm interested in what you have in mind.
9714279
Well this is interesting. I'd thought the whole deal with the kids was being used as an opportunity for character growth. Looking back I can see why people made such a fuss about it.
I still enjoy the story as it is. I never expected it to be perfect. That said I look forward to seeing how you improve it later on.
That Flapjack reference between Chrysalis and Buff is my favorite thing
Is the next chapter almsot finished