• Member Since 18th Jun, 2016
  • offline last seen Mar 26th, 2021

the legendary ass eater

I have a degree in official shitposting and I'm not afraid to use it.


Y'know, I was once an average guy. A completely normal male human being. Sure I had my oddities but who doesn't, right? Then I woke up in Equestria after one too many shots of whiskey at 3AM whilst watching some random ass anime.

Now that in itself sounds fucking weird but that's not even the full story. Somehow good old reliable purple smart managed to not only change my species and my gender but also my age. Now I'm stuck with a lavender coated princess who has become my 'caretaker' and I'm being forced to go to school!

I still can't believe this isn't some crazy drug trip. Well, whatever - if this is a drug trip then I'm gonna make sure this will be the best drug trip of my life. So take a look into my new personal life and prepare to see the horrors that I'll bring to this hippy horse land.

[Sex Tag for references and innuendos - there will be no clop.]

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 29 )

Her grip was released once more. I grinned like a maniac and replied, "Dick Kickem."

"It's time to kick gum and chew ass. And I'm all out of ass."

you can fall asleep in a dream in shrek showed

So in this story Anon is being a dick just for the sake of being a dick? Not very enjoyable.

That's kind of the point of Anon though...
One out of three at least.

abducted transformed into a miniature horse foal, had gender swapped and told gonna be a long time till they can undo it, i be a dick too specially if im not 100 percent sure its not a dream

I keep waiting for someone to make a fic where the guy actually is dreaming, and then when he/she wakes up for them to disappear from that world much to the confusion of the locals, and later after going to bed for the night he/she dreams their way into the world again.
But anon-filly fics are usually funny regardless, so here i am reading this one.

There actually was a story like that a while ago. It was some women who went to sleep and was a stallion in Equestria who was real into hunting. When she woke up, she was back on Earth. I can't remember what the story was called.

well there

TDon't Wake Up
I enter these horses dreams whenever I sleep. I don't know why, all I do know is the horse on the moon is not good. Why can't I just wake up?
Grizzly Nation · 38k words  ·  551  14 · 8k views

which a human going around ponies dream and luna thinks he an nightmare creature

Getting Starlight to cast while drunk... Sparkle Butt, ya dun goofed. :trixieshiftleft:

I really am anticipating how this is gonna play out I can already tell its gonna be fun .

I just hope he doesn't go too far...

I feel like he absolutely will and it will be fucking hysterical

Sending him to school sounds like something Twilight woukd do to force him to be a little filly and hide her misdeeds without fixing them. Honestly, he should resist being placed into a school with everything he has.

For one, she's totally commited a great many felonies against a citizen of another country as a head of state, which is totally a huge fuckup. Not treating him as an adukt human woukd just be humiliating him, woukd say that she doesn't have remorse, and that would ruin her public image

I’ll give this story one more chapter before making a final decision but honestly I don’t have high hopes. This is most likely going to end up like every other anon story

I say this because the author has already shown that he doesn’t care about using an even realistic method of transportation, nope it’s twi was in a rush to do something stupid and used a drunk ass assistant and also feels no guilt.


It's just that the mirror on Earth is broken and it won't be fixed for another three years or so and Sunset wanted to see Celestia for the first time since forever an-"

The mirror on Earth is broken so that's why Twilight did this (and yes there is a reason why it's broken and that'll be a plot point for later.)

Since a lot of people are saying this I feel as if I need to clear a few things up. Anon truly believes he is dreaming and so he doesn't believe that he's actually saying harmful things. After all, how you can offend something that doesn't exist? His dickish attitude will also be improved upon through character development later on as the story progresses.

Let me be the first to tell you that teleportation sucks balls. Not only was it practically blinding but it almost made you want to throw up every single meal that you've ever had in your entire life. I'm sure I would have thrown up if I had actually consumed anything with this body. But then again maybe not - dreams don't tend to follow actual physics after all.

Another reason he probably didn’t throw up is that it’s literally impossible for a horse to throw up and if they try to they will choke and die.

Like everything about this except for Flash in the castle. Could have just made an OC.:ajbemused:

Let's see what happens!:pinkiehappy:


Honestly I wasn't too keen on going with Flash but I wasn't sure if I wanted to use an OC. I'm considering going with Tempest Shadow instead. I'm going to make a blog as an update on this once I've decided who I'm changing it to.

That's is a great choice! The "Horned Mares" in the CASTLE!:moustache:

So as some of you may have noticed, the first chapter now says (Updated!) in the title. You can find more details on what this update is in this blog. Hopefully this clears up any misinterpretations and provides you all with clear information about what has changed.

Thanks so much for reading!

Ponies other than Pinkie Pie have vomited in the show. Not saying you aren't correct, just that you aren't relevant.

I’ll be honest here, I haven’t actually seen the entire show yet, especially not at the point where I made that comment, so if you would be so kind as to make a list of times that the cartoon horses have thrown up so I that I may be better educated on the subject matter, I would greatly appreciate it.


Que buen servicio

The character in this one enters Equestria whenever they're asleep. Their Equestrian body becomes a statue when their human body is awake.

Overall, I do not know what to think about the story just yet; it's to early for me to say. Although the ideas that have been proposed for the story do show promise and so I will definitely keep reading if the story is continued and new chapters release.

Update when? I really like the story so far and I would hate to see it die :fluttershysad:

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