I look at my cease and desist letter from royalty. “... You’re exiling me,” I note. Princess Celestia, sitting across from me nods.
“Indeed. You’ve caused a financial scandal of a grand scale,” she says.
“But... I literally gave everything back, aside from a couple of legal businesses and properties that I either destroyed or liquidated both physically and-slash-or financially,” I say. She nods. “This isn’t because I forgot to get the miners out of the mines is it?”
“No, they do that every so often on their own accord, but I can’t just sit by, knowing one of Equestria’s most dangerous villains lives within its border, capable of bring us to our knees again with a snap. So, I took legal actions, actions you understand and follow,” she says. “I’m liable to have you taken to the dungeons for tax reasons.” To this, she takes out a note. It has a list of tax-related crimes. Well, I knew they would go after me with legal action, but I thought it’d be for psychological reasons. Either way, I can take a guess as to how they’ll punish me, for which I already prepared. Nonetheless, I need to play a facade until it’s too late for them. I huff.
“And what if I don’t follow them?” I ask.
“The red dot on your forehead should tell you that,” Celestia says with a smirk. I freeze and look around. I can see Bones, my right-hand-dog-guard, looking at me. He nods. I look at her and snicker.
“You wouldn’t-“ I’m interrupted by a loud bang, and several windows breaking. I look down nervously to see several holes making an outline of my shadow. “... So, how do I proceed?” I ask nonchalantly. Celestia unrolls another paper.
“You are to liquidate everything in this castle, including the castle itself. Every bit of property you own will belong to-“
“Done,” I say, sighing my name quickly and giving her a smile. She freezes.
“... What did you do?” She asks.
“Why, I’m simply giving you everything I own in Equestria, if I sign this. Isn’t that right?” I ask. She nods. “Then, that’s what I did.” Bones, who isn’t wearing his usual armor, but regular clothes, looks at me in awe as I get up. Celestia glares at me.
“No, you did something- What did you do!?” She yells. I give her a smile.
“Business practices for when a ship is sinking. I was never a business major, but I’m sure what I said is still truthful to a degree.” I look at Bones. “Round up the troops, we’re moving.”
“W-wait, hold on-“ Celestia says as I start walking away. “Wait you- hold on!” She uses magic to stop me.
“What? I thought you wanted me gone, and to claim everything I’ve got. After all, expensive lawyers are expensive, the time it took to bring me to this point was a long wait, so what could possibly stop you?” I ask.
“... We’re allowing you to keep five percent of everything we take,” Celestia says. “You can use it to get out of this country and never return.”
“Thanks, but you can keep the spare change,” I say. Celestia releases me, and I turn to smile at her. She did exactly what I thought she would.
“Anon, what. Did. You. Do,” Celestia presses.
“I already told you, business practices,” I say. Bones, now realizing what’s going on, gives a laugh, drawing panic from Celestia. “Now, Bones, tell everybody we’re packing up.” He laughs a bit more.
“Lord, can I give a hint?” He asks.
“Sure, why not,” I say, walking out of the throne-table room. Bones looks at Celestia with a smug look.
“Notice my lord’s massage chair isn’t around?” He asks. Without an answer, he walks out, yelling at guards to pack up. Celestia’s eyes turn to pinpricks. She looks around the room and feels dread build up. A plastic chair was what I was sitting in at the head of the table. Celestia looks up to see that there’s no chandelier. In fact, now that she’s looking more closely, she noticed how the walls look a bit flimsy. Rather odd considering they’re stone walls. She squints and uses magic to poke a slab of stone. It’s firm, but not as firm as stone should be... wait, is that paint? Celestia looks down to notice that rug is kind of cheap looking. It’s also really plain. Suddenly, it clicks to her as to what I had implied.
“No...” she whispers. She gallops out of the room, and looks around the castle at the different rooms. They’re all empty. The dungeons have been filled with dirt, but Celestia is sure I made them unusable. She keeps looking around as she realizes that there is very little value to this castle. “No, it’ll be fine, there’s still his properties away from the castle,” Celestia assures herself. However, little did she know, I liquidated all my properties as well. In fact, the only thing of real value, is the table in the throne room. That was like, five to six thousand bits. The trick is, I need to escape Equestria before they revise the contract and force me to sign it. I guarantee you that those ponies just wanted me gone, and money problems were an afterthought. The contract I signed exiles me, I know that for fact since I could see the words ‘exile’ and ‘Equestria’ in the same sentence. Thus, once I fulfull this contract, I’ll be out of the country and outside legal bounds.
Sure, I was in trouble for tax purposes, but they thought that liquidating my assets would be enough to recover from it. Thus, they assumed it would be recovered from the contract I signed. Which means, the government has acknowledged that my debts are paid off via assets. If they try to force me to sign it outside of the country, the United countries of the world would then have to retaliate against that. I sure hope Celestia tries, because it was funny when they were on their knees the first time. However, I don’t think they’re that stupid. However, my concerns are no longer about Equestria. I already booked passage to a different country for me and my personal army. I have an offshore account that houses all of my money, so I can just pull funds from that. The problem is: I no longer have a source of income. So, I’m gonna have to come out of early retirement. Time to be a villain somewhere else. But where, one would wonder. Well, of course, I still wanna mess with Equestria, but in a different way. And since the Crystal Empire is a close ally of theirs, why the fuck not? Celestia’s niece rules there, so it’s gonna be fun as hell.
I hum as I snack on some bacon jerky next to Bones, who’s going over plans. We’re in a train cart, which is filled by almost fifty of my forces. There are three other twin carts filled with fifty diamond dogs. I’d say there are about four hundred dogs in my forces, so I sent half of them ahead of time to establish a sort of base of operations. To lead them temporarily, I sent Wretch and Frank with them. Wretch is good with numbers, and Frank has the luck of a spiteful old bat. In any case, I’m traveling with Bones, eating bacon jerky. On the other hand, Bones is establishing battle plans. “... So we might have to cut back for our budget, which means forces may or may not be under equipped. Unless, we could train for some of our staff to be medics.”
“Uh Huh,” I say.
“... My lord, you seem a little down today,” Bones notes. I sigh.
“Well, it feels a bit too smooth,” I say. Bones quirks an eyebrow.
“What does?” He asks.
“This. This plan. This whole escape plan was my first plan, and I had like, two back up plans. Now I can’t use my back up plans. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to have back up plans that aren’t even used because the first plan worked too well?” I ask.
“... No, sir, I don’t,” Bones replies.
“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. When we get to the Empire, I’ll-“ I’m suddenly interrupted by the cart suddenly launching into the air. Bones’ eyes widen as he realizes this and yells out as I simply buckle my seat belt. Odd how trains have seat belts, but then again, this isn’t a normal world. The cart lands with a crash, and the windows let me see that we’re sliding along snowy ground. “It appears my problem is resolved. Now, I don’t have any plans period,” I sarcastically remark to myself. Finally, the cart comes to a halt and I unbuckle my belt. “Time to see what the hell happened.” I lean down, pat Bones’ head as he pants in panic, and walk out of the cart’s doors. Outside, I can see a series of large black crystals jutting out of the train tracks, piercing through the various train carts. My guard dogs all bumble around, trying to find their bearings. I frown. This looks like competition.
“Wait, you’re not ponies!” A distorted voice yells. I look up to see a grey and black unicorn standing on top of a floating black crystal. I point at him and launch some lightning. However, he notices the flash and quickly brings up a shield. “Pitiful creature, can’t you see-“ I pull out my gun and shoot him. I still have too many rubber bullets, so I’m not wasting them. This time, he isn’t prepared and yells in pain while holding his head. The crystal he was floating on falls, crashing in front of me.
“Do you have any idea how much this trip costed?” I asked. “Do you have any idea how costly it is to move AN ENTIRE HEADQUARTERS!?!?” I yell. The unicorn groans, getting up. I shoot again, but he brings up a black crystalline shard to protect himself. Then, the crystal snaps and cracks into millions of pieces, which point towards me. Uh oh. I furrow my brow and bring up a hand as the million of tiny shards rush towards me. I bring up a magical shield, which was able to stop the shards. I let down my shield and watch as the pieces fall to the ground.
“Do you have any idea who you’re messing with?” The unicorn asks, his eyes turning into green and red, with purple mist coming out.
“No, but I know you’re expensive competition,” I growl. By now, the diamond dogs are surrounding us, watching in nervousness. The unicorn looks around and smirks.
“Hear me, mutts. My name is King Sombra. I issue a challenge to your leader,” he says. “A battle, for your loyalty.”
“My lord! Don’t accept!” Bones yells from the crowd. I can see a lot of my forces glancing around. I don’t question their loyalty, not one bit. However, I’m pissed off because the train ride was really expensive. I slowly look back at the prideful unicorn.
“Rather bold of you to assume you’re a king,” I call out. Sombra scoffs.
“Bold of you to assume you’re better,” he remarks. He’s not going to back down. I can see it in his eyes. Good. However, I can’t do this duel now. I’m underprepared.
“I’ll accept, but I propose we each prepare,” I say.
“Oh? Afraid?” Sombra asks.
“I didn’t take over Equestria by showing my ass,” I growl.
“You? Taking over Equestria? Preposterous!” Sombra laughs. He drops his grin as he looks at me. “To take over Equestria, you’d need control over their irritating princesses.”
“Buddy, I had the rulers in the palm of my hand,” I say.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snarls.
“Either way, I would like to prepare for this duel you’re suggesting,” I say.
“... Very well. Tomorrow, we shall battle in the middle of the Crystal Empire,” Sombra announces. I nod. To this, Sombra turns around and walks off, into the field of snow. Bones comes up to me.
“My lord, what are we to do?” He asks.
“Gather the equipment, take what’s not broken, and March into our new base,” I say. “If we can get there quick enough, we can prepare far more than him.”
Near the edge of the Crystal Empire, there is a gated off area full of warehouses. Of course, this is my base of operations. I calmly walk in one of the warehouses, eyeing the progress my troops are making. We’ve had to go under the budget I had laid out. I mean, that’s always the goal for me, but this was more than I expected. Apparently, bits are a bit inflated in the Crystal fucking Empire. I really shouldn’t have trusted that dated economics book. So, for now, my guards are equipped with less-than-agreeable bronze. It’s hella strong, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t look as intimidating as iron. I mean, come on. What do you think of when you think of bronze? Pennies? The Statue of Liberty!? I swear to God, I’m going to force the economy to go down when I get my hands on those-
“Sir!?” Bones yells, making me jump.
“What!?” I yell back. Bones winces.
“I was just coming to ask, why are we preparing for a takeover?” He asks. “I thought we had to deal with competition first?”
“Well- I could wait. Or, I could go ahead and nab all those resources, secure fundings and finances, and best of all, rub it into that stupid face of that bastard.”
“Isn’t that... cheating?” Bones asks.
“I’m a villain. Why in the holy fuck would I care?” I ask.
“HEY BOSS!!!” Frank yells, making Bones and I jump.
“Oh- what now you lobotomization failure!?” I yell. He points out a door. I groan and walk over to it. I peek out and throw it open as what I see disgusts me to my very core. Outside, the castle is covered in dark crystals. Hordes of ponies are marching, wearing the goofiest looking helmets with green goggles I’ve ever seen. At the top of the crystalline tower, sits a golden throne with- oh that motherfucker. “HE FUCKIN’ CHEATED!!!” I yell in fury.
“Citizen,” a robotic voice calls. I look over to see armored crystal ponies wearing the same goofy helmets. “You are required to-“ I zap them to a crisp, causing them all to fall over.
“I guess I’m taking care of this now. If I’m taking care of it now, I better suit up,” I remark. As I walk back in, Bones runs up.
“Uh, my lord, it might take me a bit to gather the troops to-“
“No. This is really personal now. Just make sure the troops are ready to take over the Empire,” I say.
“W-what if you lose?” Bones asks. I stop and look back at him.
“You’ll know what to do,” I remark. With that, I walk away and get ready, ignoring the prying eyes of my underlings as they see my angry demeanor.
About a few hours later, the crystal doors to the castle slam open as I waltz in. I wear a long black tailcoat, which covers a little over half my legs, with and opening in the middle to allow me to walk. Under the coat, is a yellow shirt with khakis. The collar of my suit has a lot of fluff, almost covering half of my face. Lightning bolts are etched onto my sleeves. Of course, I needed a hat. Nothing says evil more than wearing a grey flat cap with an expensive suit. I got this outfit like, months ago, but I could never find the opportune time to wear it. The room I stormed into is made of crystal, a large crystal chandelier in the center above. A larger set of stairs rest at the other end, just past two large doors leading to other parts of the castle. Murals sits to either side of the door I came through, casting a tinted light that formed artistic nonsensical picture on the floor. “ALRIGHT SOMBRA, YOU BIG FUCKING NERD-“ I stop yelling to slam my fists together, causing lightning to jump out and around me. “NOBODY CALLS DIBS IN THIS BUSINESS BUT ME!!!”
“Oh, what have we here?” Sombra’s voice echoes. “You know, the early bird gets the worm.”
“But the second mouse gets the cheese,” I counter.
“That wit of yours sure is sharp, but allow me to-“ I interrupt him by groaning.
“Look man, I’ve got a schedule to go by, so can we hurry this up?” I ask.
“Oh?” His voice whispers to my left. I snap and zap in that direction, but I hit nothing. “Why hurry?” He asks behind me. I whip around, pulling out my gun and firing a couple shots, only hitting the walls of the huge room.
“Because fuck you in general,” I answer. A chuckle rings out.
“Oh? Why don’t we work together?” Sombra asks.
“Because the fact that you suggest it means you know I’ll win,” I counter. “And to be honest, you sound like the backstabbing political type. I don’t have any patience for that.”
“Oh, believe me, I wouldn’t make you wait,” Sombra hisses. Suddenly, I hear cracking noises. I look up and quickly jump out of the way as black shards crash down on where I was.
“No fisticuffs? Too weak to take me on your own!?” I yell.
“Oh, I could take you,” a Sombra growls. “I just wanted to have fun-“
The windows crash and I feel something slam into me. Almost in slow motion, I look back to see a terrified looking Rainbow Dash as we start flying off. Through the window, I caught glimpses of various colors, like pink, white, purple, and that was all it took to let me know what’s going on. Rainbow and I tumble across the floor, my hat falling off. “Son of a bitch,” I groan in pain.
“What!?” Sombra yells.
“Ow...” Rainbow groans. Her friends finally come in, and gasp as they see me.
“Wait... Anon!? So it was you all along!?” Twilight yells.
“No, dipshit,” I say, getting up.
“I bet you’re just up to no good again!” Applejack says, huffing.
“I mean- you’re not wrong,” I answer truthfully. “But no, this isn’t my scheme.”
“It’s mine,” Sombra says, grabbing everyone’s attention. We all look up to see Sombra, with a robe and crown, glaring at all of us. “Of course, you pesky ponies would be here to stop me.” I quickly saw an opportunity and take it. It seems that Sombra’s smart about me, but then again, if I remember correctly, Twilight and her pals literally killed him last time. Or, was it Spike? Either way, perfect opportunity since then I can outnumber him.
“Yeah, I was actually trying to stop him!” I say. I mean, I am. I’m trying to stop him, so that I can take his place immediately right after.
“... He’s telling the truth y’all,” Applejack says, helping Rainbow Dash up. I get up nodding.
“I always do,” I says. Applejack raises an eyebrow, frowning. “... Except last time, sure, but generally I am.”
“How are we sure you won’t try to take over the Empire immediately right after?” Pinkie asks with a suspicious hum.
“Enough of this!” Sombra yells, stomping and sending off a shockwave of black shards. I bring up a magic shield and held back against his attack. Twilight and her friends all jumped to avoid it and get into an aggressive stance.
“Stop destroying shit! You’ll decrease the estate’s value!” I yell.
“Anon- who cares how much this castle is worth right now!?” Rarity yells.
“Naturally, Anon does!” A voice yells from outside. I glance over and do a double take as I realize Bones, Wretch, and Frank are outside, in front of what looks like an army of my loyal dogs.
“Bones! What did I say!?” I yell as I shoot off a bolt of electricity at the dramatic edge lord.
“We can’t just wait for you my lord! We had to help!” Bones cries. Sombra growls.
“Fools. I can’t be bothered with such vile mutts-“ I snap my attention to him and fire a stronger bolt of lightning at him. The bolt lands, and he screams in pain before falling to the floor, spazzing out a bit.
“Don’t you EVER call them mutts again!” I yell. “No one can call the, that but me!” Sombra picks himself up, shaking with rage.
“This ludicrous battle is getting out of hoof,” he mutters. He raises a crystal just in time to block a purple blast. “Try as you might, but your conventional weaponry won’t work!” He barks. Twilights glares.
“Alright girls, it’s time to end this!” Twilight yells. Her friends nod and form up. Sombra’s eyes widen. He’s never face their rainbow-themed Deus ex machina before, but he doesn’t plan to- suddenly his horn feels like pain and he falls back down on his side, clutching the horn.
“Stay down, final warning,” I say, lowering my gun. Twilight’s eyes glow, and she lifts into the air with her friends.
“No- wait!” Sombra tries to scramble up, but I strike him with lightning, causing my loyal soldiers to cheer in the background. He falls back down, trying in vain to make his horn work through the pain. Finally, the main six unleash God’s Bitch Slap of Friendship upon the dark lord in the form of a rainbow beam. He screams in both pain and rage as his body glows. Just like that, he vanishes. I blink in surprise.
“...Did you just kill him!?” I ask.
“He was evil!” Twilight yells. Her and her friends then turn their fighting gaze towards me. “And now, we’re going to-“
“Wait!” A new voice yells. Everyone pauses as a crystal pony scrambles in, before falling down. “Ow...” He picks himself up, brushing the dirt off of his suit.
“Oh what the fuck now?” I ask.
“My name is Page Flipper. Please, call me Flip,” he introduces himself modestly.
“Can it wait? We’re about to fight the second villain here,” Rainbow Dash says.
“Villain!?” The pony exclaims. “No no no! He just helped you guys save the Crystal Empire!”
“... Yeeeeaaaaaah,” I slowly say, seeing an opportunity.
“You can’t be serious,” Rarity says. “He’s a villain! He took over Equestria!”
“Then, why is he here?” The pony asks.
“Because we managed to banish him after Celestia came back into power!” Pinkie exclaims. “And it was super easy too, once he stepped down and let her go.”
“Willingly?” Flip asks. Silence reigned as everyone realizes where this is going. I give a wicked smile.
“But- no! No! I refuse!” Twilight says. “He is a villain! We all know he’s a villain!”
“It’s kinda hard to imagine him a villain,” Flip says.
“He destroyed orphanages!” Twilight argues. “Puppy orphanages!”
“They weren’t paying their taxes!” Wretch yells from outside.
“See, cause and effect,” I say. Flip nods.
“Yeah, that’s understandable!” He says. “If anything, he’s just misunderstood.”
“Misunderstood- he literally took over an entire country, burned down buildings, hurting millions of ponies, for six bits!” Twilight yells.
“John Wick killed a shit ton of people for one dog- but he’s an awesome hero!” I yell.
“He’s fictional!” Twilight argues.
“Fine. Your people fought over who should own land, despite the fact that pegasi can live on fucking clouds, and unicorns don’t really need it other than for novelty,” I say. “Literally only one faction could actually make good use of the land.” Flip nods.
“I mean, that is a pretty good point,” he says.
“It was much more complicated then that!” Twilight yells. She stops, takes a deep breath in, and sighs. “You know what? This isn’t worth it. Come on, we’re leaving girls.” No one argued. They all silently leave, knowing full well what I’m probably about to do.
“Finally,” I say, rubbing my hands together like a stereotypical evil person.
“Oh, great hero, what should we call you?” Flip asks as many crystal ponies come out of hiding. I chuckle.
“Call me, Anon...”
It’s been a week. My soldiers guard the Crystal Empire’s walls and entrances. I sit on a massager chair instead of a throne. A crystal pony stands before me, angry. “You can’t just tax us for front doors!” He yells. I sigh.
“The home’s front door, taxes won’t ignore,” I say.
“Why do you base taxes on what you can rhyme!?” He asks.
“Because you can’t rhyme orange,” I say.
“W-what!? What does that even mean!?” He asks incredulously.
“Easy. It means you go to the dungeons,” I say. I snap my fingers and a diamond dog takes him to said dungeons.
“N-no! Princess Cadance will get you for this!” He yells. I chuckle.
“No, she won’t,” I say menacingly, knowing that Cadance and Shining Armor are actually off on vacation I’ve... “paid” for. As I finish my chuckle, Bones walks in.
“Sir! Princess Celestia requests to be in your presence!” Bones says.
“Sure,” I say, leaning back and reclining. The alabaster alicorn walks in, giving me a stern glare. “Hello Princess Celestia,” I say, turning on the chair. It vibrates pleasantly, helping me relax even more.
“Where are they?” Celestia asks with a hint of anger.
“Ah ah, temper temper. I’m on a budget you know,” I say. “Your niece is on vacation.”
“In the dungeons?” Celestia asks.
“No, in Manehatten. I hear the musicals there are wonderful for children,” I say. I pull out a paper and hand it to her. “Proof.” Celestia takes it and reads it.
“... You have got to be kidding me,” Celestia says. “You’re in charge until she gets back?!” I give a smile and nod.
“Of course. A country can’t rule itself you know,” I say.
“But why you!?” Celestia asks.
“According to the crystal ponies, I just helped saved them from Sombra. They think I’m just misunderstood. Or rather, they thought I was,” I say, chuckling. “Don’t worry. Once Cadance gets back, contract’s up. I’m to leave the throne.” I give a sinister smile to my frenemy. “I’ll be out of their hair after this. Who knows what I’m going to do next?” I cross my legs, stretching. “In any case, what do you want?”
“... I want you to stop,” Celestia says.
“Hm, no. Not in the budget. Try again,” I say.
“You can’t run forever,” Celestia notes.
“Am I running?” I ask. I lean a bit to look at Bones. “Bones! Am I running!?”
“No my lord, you’re sitting in the lap of luxury!” He calls back. I nod and get back into a comfy position. Celestia glares at me, right at my eyes, before stopping. An uncomfortable silence fills the room, and I start to glare.
“I’m not in the mood for a staring contest you know,” I say. “Time is money, and you’re wasting mine.”
“... You are a sad little human,” Celestia says. With that, she turns and walks away. I blink in surprise.
“That’s the best you’ve got? That was sad within itself,” I say. As Celestia walks, the guards step in front of her. “Now pay up.”
“For what?” Celestia asks, not looking at me.
“Tell a bad joke, I’ll make you broke,” I say. Celestia turns to look at me incredulously.
“You really do tax anything that rhymes,” she says. “But I’m not a citizen.”
“If you’re in the country, you owe me money,” I say.
“I’m a ruler from a different country,” Celestia deadpans.
“Question the king, cash you must bring,” I reply.
“For the love of- fine!” Celestia’s horn glows and a large bag of bits fall onto me, making me groan in pain. “Goodbye Anon... I do hope we can come to a middle ground one day.” With that, she leaves. She briefly wonders how I’m going to actually keep any of the money I make, but she’s sure I’ve found a way by now. She looks back to see me struggling to get the bag off of me. I managed to glance at her, and for a split second, I felt extremely angry. However, anger clouds judgement. And the last thing I need to do is get in a pissy fit that will make me lose all my money. I’ve got more than enough, but I know the dogs will want to get some souvenirs. Frank especially. Speaking of which-
“Frank!” I call.
“Yes boss!” He yells next to me. I sigh, and turn to him.
“Tell Wretch to start the Gold-Born Protocol,” I say. He salutes with a tongue hanging out and zips off. I sigh and look at my massage chair. The Gold-Born Protocol is where we gather up the profits we’ve earned, and send them to a different account. Next, if we have any personal assets, we’d liquidate it and send all of it to a different account. There’s like, fifty other things going on that I can’t remember, but I’m sure Bones will take care of it. If I remember correctly, Cadance is coming back within the hour, so we need to skidaddle out. I sit up and look around. Everything here is as it was when I started. I turn off the chair and get up. I leave the massager behind and give a small smile. Now that I’ve had my fun poking at Celestia, I now need to gather up our resources and get the fuck out of dodge. Various laws I’ve put into motion should be halting now, as they are supposed to. Various taxes have been taken and accounted for, and divided unequally by giving the Empire about twenty percent and eighty percent to myself- which I will give back to the Empire to account for taxes of my own. If this sounds convoluted, just imagine a whole web around a strand of rope. It’s made for people to get stuck on as they climb up or down. I am simply not maintaining this web since it was temporary to begin with. No trouble, no one’s caught up anymore, and I pay for what little trouble comes out in the end. Business practices. I give a laugh as I walk out. Now, it’s just a matter of setting up shop at a new residence. Although I’ve accomplished my goal, it doesn’t really satisfy me like last time.
Last time, I had Equestria duct taped to a fan blade, laughing maniacally as they spun around without any ability to help themselves. This time, it was a fluke. I mean- More than anything else, I may be a business man doing business, but I want a little bit of fun from it. I had twenty different plans for the Empire and none of them were executed! It’s like planning to make your own cake but your dumbass friends buy one for you instead. Sure, it’s cake, and I’m not supposed to make it to begin with, but I wanted to do it my way! I slowly frown as I pass many ponies in the streets, who cower and shy away from me. What will I do next then? I can’t take over the Empire since I’ve technically already done so. I can’t go back to Equestria because they know my tricks... Wait. I stop as I think deeply. What about those griffons? Griffon Stone’s pretty big. They’re more aggressive too, more challenging. They might not be as smart as ponies, but I was able to win because of ponies’ instinctual patterns of prey. How would predators fare? I hum in thought.
“Sir!” Bones yells, grabbing my attention. I turn to him and he gives me a thumbs up. “We’re all ready to go sir. Just say the word and point out the train.” I nod.
“Good. Do we have a new base yet?” I ask. He shrugs.
“Kinda yes kinda no. We have a base, but it’s in Griffon Stone.” I tilt my head. Odd coincidence.
“What’s bad about Griffon a stone?” I ask. He sighs.
“You know how we’re dogs?” He asks. I frown.
“It’s not because they’re part lion is it? I could’ve sworn the cats and dogs thing wasn’t true,” I say.
“Oh, it’s not. It’s just... they’re part birds,” he says. I raise an eyebrow.
“And that’s a problem because...?”
“Because some of us are Hunter dogs. I don’t know if I’d be able to get some of them under control,” he says. I sigh.
“Just carry a water spray, that’ll teach them,” I say.
“... If you say so,” Bones says. With that, we head off towards the train station. I smile as I think of Griffon Stone. I wonder what kind of challenge it’ll bring?