• Member Since 11th Jun, 2014

Tik-Tok-deerpony


the prick with a pen

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Total Words: 22,431,536
Estimated Reading: 8 weeks

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  • Featured 23218 stories Stories that have been featured on Fimfiction ( Automatically populated! )


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T

There exists in any given location either an inn or bar where the locals meet at the end of a long work day and trade drinks and stories. By the ancient laws of happenstance, the same must be true for areas where the permanent population is exactly one. Now, most would assume it would default to those creatures preferred drinking area in their own house. These people have never been to the only truly lonely place in Equestria. On the border of the unending sea and the badlands there sits an Inn, with a strange bartender. If one comes seeking riches or fame, he will gladly kick you out, stating the only riches here are booze and misery. But if you come for a strong drink and an ear to listen to your problems, then you have found your home.

Rocking the featured box again. Can I get a hoorah? 2/12/19 for those curious.

Chapters (15)
T

Ponies are like those weird experimental dishes my broodmother sometimes makes: really interesting and probably good for a story, but never the type of thing I’d want to poke, for fear it might take off my hoof. I already learned my lesson the first time something I ate came back to haunt me. Sure, they're flavorful, but I’d like to be a bit more discerning when I’m trying to distinguish “edible” and “by-the-queen-it’s-looking-at-me.”

C-can I please leave the table?

I’m Nymph, and I'm now a changeling infiltrator.


Special shout-out to Georg for giving my chapters a final passover before publication! He is equal parts terrible and wonderful, and I am thankful for every bit of it.

Chapters (38)
T

Far away from all the craziness that is ponyville, one pony stands against the ever-present threat of shenanigans as he tries to live his life. Meet Laugh Track, an average pony who somehow manages to turn the most mundane things into an adventure. These are some disconnected stories from his life, each one more of a oneshot than anything else.

He feels like his life is a sitcom, so the main rule? When all else fails, LAUGH.

Chapters (5)
T
Source

Gilda only wanted the humble things in life. Cheap rent, copious bits, the respect of her peers, the occasional juicy field-mouse.

Being captured by the Equestrians and dragooned into the Territorials wasn't quite what she'd dreamed of, but at least the rent was free.

And the rats were nice and plump.

Chapters (36)
T
Source

This story is a sequel to Sunny's Days


Sunny Day is pretty happy with her life. She finally has the command she worked so hard for, and the view from atop her wall is amazing. It’s everything she wanted, but many ponies still view her as immature and wild. What more does she have to do to prove her worth and show them all she’s as serious as anypony else?

Elsewhere in Canterlot, Azurite used to be happy with her life. The tragedy that occurred during the recent Summer Sun Celebration changed everything, and now she’s struggling to get her hooves moving in the right direction again. All she wants to do is help other ponies like they’ve helped her, but her own fears keep getting in the way.

The paths before these two mares rarely touch, and yet wind closer together than either will ever know. Achieving their goals will ultimately rely on learning the same lesson: sometimes you just have to believe in yourself.


This story takes place between Sunny's Days and Three of Hearts. Knowledge of either is not required to enjoy the story but will add clarity.

Quill & Blade Universe

Chapters (30)
T
Source

For many a millennia he has slumbered beneath the earth, his strength recovering from a conflict as old as the sands it was fought upon. For many a millennia he and his people withered away into legends, spoken of by the elderly to their young as nothing more than stories before bed. For many a millennia the world itself forgot about this being, hidden away within a cage of dirt and rock and time.

But now he has awoken to find himself lost in a world nearly unrecognisable, dominated by a species he'd not laid eyes upon for many, many years indeed.

Yet there still lived a select few who knew him personally. To them, he was an old yet dear friend, long believed to have been lost to the cataclysm that cost him his people and his kingdom. Despite all the time that had elapsed and despite all that had happened throughout the years, they still knew his name.

Cyrus Perennem, 'The King Without a Crown'.

Chapters (6)
E
Source

This story is a sequel to I Don't Want to Grow Up


Celestia was a filly living on an isolated farm with her sister and harboring dreams of greatness. Chrysalis was a black goo poured out from a screaming wound in the walls of reality, with a weak grasp on the appropriate amount of fangs one should have. Friendship was inevitable.


Image used with permission from miszasta

Editing by the wonderful Carabas and FanOfMostEverything

Pre-reading and suggestions by bloons3

Chapters (27)
E
Source

Family is a complicated thing, it comes with all sorts of expectations, hopes, and unsolicited advice.

It also implies an abundance of drama, this time involving a Changeling Queen, an unlucky messenger and, at least tangentially, a rubber duck.

Cover art used with the permission of the awesome Kp-ShadowSquirrel.

For editing, pre-reading, and enduring me, in no particular order, thanks to: Carabas, Themaskedferret,
MrNumbers, Fenton, FamousLastWords and Aeluna.

Chapters (2)
T

Scootaloo has a secret. One that she's been hiding her whole life, and after the royal wedding has no choice but to share.

Apple Bloom has a secret. One that she's been hiding for six months, and is still terrified of.

Sweetie Belle has a secret. One that she's been hiding for... well, she doesn't know how long, and is looking for answers to.

So what happens when three not-ponies find out their friends aren't ponies either?

Well, one thing's for certain: they're going to have to come up with a new name for their club. Hopefully one better than the title.

Cover by Crimsion Ink

First few chapters edited by metallusionsismagic, AppleTank, and the last few chapters edited by Crocoshark, Bahamuttone

Featured May 30, 2015!

Chapters (26)
T

This story is a sequel to Undead Robot Bug Crusaders


Apple Bloom is an undead ghoul, but that's OK. She's finally come to terms with her condition, and is determined to rise above her curse.

Sweetie Belle is a robot, but that's OK. With manual in hoof, she's prepared to learn everything she can about herself, and whatever the future holds.

Scootaloo is a changeling, but that's OK. Changelings are citizens now, and she's ready to do her part to show the world changelings can be friendly too.

Together, the three of them are getting by, one day at a time. They may never get their cutie marks, but that's not going to stop them from having fun, finding their talents, and maybe even going a week without causing massive amounts of property damage. Maybe.

Meanwhile, Babs Seed is still blissfully unaware of the unusual destiny that awaits her, Diamond Tiara is slowly finding her place in the world, and Ponyville is still the weirdest town in Equestria. But then again, what else is new?

Edited by Bahamuttone

Cover Art by someone close to me IRL who probably doesn't want anyone to know she made pony art.

Chapters (26)