The Inn At The End Of Equestria

by Nobodyslament

(Crossover) Wait, you're a WHAT?!

There wasn't a whole lot to do in my inn when life was going slowly. Sure, I could drink or write, but after so long of doing both they almost felt like work on some days. On those few and far-between days, I had a schedule. I leaned over the bar at Jeff and Pupa, gesturing to the door. "Hey guys, I think I'm in a mood today, mind scampering off for a few days while I do some private work?"

Pupa opened her mouth to argue, but Jeffry beat her to it. "Ah, this is what the small book in the proto-hive was about. Come, Pupa, I shall elucidate you on our way to Malibuck. I've heard there's a wonderful festival going on tomorrow."

I froze as they walked out, shouting as the door shut behind them. "WAIT, WHAT PROTO-HIVE?!" There was no answer as I was left in silence, making me huff and puff as I walked to the window and flipped the open sign over to read closed. With that done I began to whistle as I pulled everything off the walls, leaving all except the king's corner bare. I began hauling various items down my trapdoor, and into the basement. I walked past the door to my reading room and kicked an empty barrel until the hinges hidden on the side gave way, allowing me into the little hall of memories I had constructed. Every item given by my changelings littered the area. Decorations littering a wide variety of tables, with the wall all but invisible due to the massive amount of paintings coating the wall. I began smiling wide as I began looking over the various treasures in my horde.

"Well if I have a horde, that makes me a dragon, right?" My head shook as I looked over a painting from Pope Augustus, a strange changeling who claimed he would spread my name far and wide. It serving all who walked through the doors, a griffon and pony holding large flagons as a dragon sat in a wagon outside with a full barrel in its claws sipping from a straw poking through the lid. I laughed as I saw it, lowering it down as I began to sing.

I sang many songs as I picked up a few new pieces from my horde, unable to hide the smiles both sad and joyous as I combed through the collection of almost a thousand years of friendships. There was the little crown that the changeling I dubbed Lancelot wore after I promoted him from knight of the inn to lord-protector. The heavy steel was dinged and warped from the time he challenged a unicorn who had been causing a ruckus and had promptly gotten a face full of fire for his payment. I had lost it at that. I have no clue what happened after that, but Lancelot had returned his crown when I woke up, claiming he couldn't ever offer better protection than I. He left shortly afterward, going on a quest to gain more strength to be worthy of serving me. I couldn't convince him otherwise. I held it aloft and reached out with another hand. It found a carved changeling head, one that looked regal and noble.

I picked it up and felt the memories. Leonardo da Torto, my waiter a century or two ago. He was always carving in the empty bar, making many a statue and print in his room that sold for a mint. He claimed this piece was called Mirror, but I
didn't see it. I slid the crown over the piece, hoisting it over my shoulder and readying it to go up as I looked for a few more. There was a crack of displaced air from behind me, and I sighed as I deduced the only person it could be. Not now Celly, I want to be alone."

There was a decidedly unfamiliar cackle from behind me. "Nyehehe, the young man thinks the great RAGAR THE MAGNIFICENT is Celestia herself?! Such a compliment is to be accepted gratefully and with reverence." I turned as a hooded biped bowed in front of me, the think dark blue robe hiding any and all details from view.

My eyebrows raised slightly, looking over the creature before me. "Look mac, bars closed and I can't rent you a room today. Sorry, you wasted your time."

The figure shook its head, looking over my horde from under its shadowed hood. "No, Ragar doesn't believe he has. This is your hall of the fallen, your mausoleum. Ragar has a very similar one of his own, though he keeps less from normal ponies than you."

I stared at him as he raised a covered hand to the rough location of his chin, stroking it idly while a strange clack sounded from beneath the hood. The hood shifted up suddenly. "Ragar would assume you are another immortal human, though your method of longevity was probably more refined than Ragar's flawed method." He leaned back, sighing to the sky. "Alas, if Ragar had another century he could have kept his rogueish good looks. Ragar's magnificent hair would still be flowing to this day."

I nearly laughed as an incredibly fake sog ushered forth from the hood, and I found myself relaxing a bit before I paused. He had said another human. "Hold up, are you... human too?"

The figure instantly straightened up, tilting its head at me. "You were unable to tell? Ragar was human, but with the learning of magic he broke such mortal bonds." He threw back his hood, revealing a skull in place of a head, two glowing orbs of gold floating in his sockets. His skeletal grin clacked in place as I took a step back. He cackled once more, his sleeves sliding down as I readied myself for whatever hell this demon would summon. "NOW YOU MEET THE TRUE RAGAR, MASTER OF AMUSEMENT AND CARNIVAL RIDES!~"

...I was not prepared. I doubled over as laughter racked my body, nearly dropping the carving on the ground as Ragar stayed in his spooky pose for a bit longer. After a moment a chuckle escaped from his own lips. "Yeah, I thought that one was pretty good." I looked up as his stance changed. Instead of looking like a goofy wizard like a comedy version of Dumbledore, he relaxed back, sliding his hands into small pockets. He leaned against the wall. "Man, I hope you don't mind if I slip out of character for a bit. Being Ragar all the time is tiring." He snapped his fingers, summoning a tophat on top of his head. "As much as I love conducting Mister Bones Wild Ride, sometimes I need a break."

I shook my head, looking to my pile of stuff. "You're good, help me haul this stuff up and all is forgiven." He pointed a finger at the pile, sending it all to the air in a small field of black smoke. I began leading the way up to my bar, beginning basic small talk as I hauled myself one-handed up a ladder. "So, you new in Equestria?"

The was a clack from below me as Ragar gripped the ladder. "No, I have been in Equestria for many many years, but not this Equestria. I was doing an experiment to test a theory. I was hoping to for a semi-stable path home to get everyone through when..." He paused for a moment before a litany of soft clacks sounded below me. "When I save everyone I can."

My eyes widened a moment. "You can get home? It's been so long I'd be scared to."

I hauled myself up onto the floor of the bar, placing the bust on the counter as a fair few paintings and knick-knacks floated in after me. Ragar's bleached skull followed shortly after, a few bones rising from the ground to extend the ladder so he could easily step onto ground level. I scoffed. "Cocky bastard."

The cackle sounded again, reminding me of Skeletor. "But of course, could the greatest lich to ever live degrade himself with crawling about on all fours in front of a new friend?"

I chuckled, looking over the room to begin a rough design for how my newest decorations would fit. It was an eclectic collection, and placing them without thought would look like a trainwreck instead of an eccentric collection. "Lord forbid that the world ever has witnesses to a great necromancer doing such normal things as helping someone redecorate."

I heard Ragar move as I moved to the pile of bric-a-brac, pulling a painting out and hanging it over the wall. "So, question. What exactly are you planning on doing now?"

Ragar shrugged, snapping his fingers and making his top-hat disappear. "No clue. I need a little bit to catch my breath before I leave. If you're fine with it I wouldn't mind chilling here for a bit."

I nodded, grabbing the bust from earlier and hanging it above the door. "You know what, I would love some human conversation. Pull up a chair, when I'm done I'll grab us some drinks."

***

I was dusting off the bar when Pupa and Jeff returned home, each wearing new clothes with a giant stuffed dolphin in their wake. Pupa had it bouncing on her back as she spoke. "I'm just saying, it seems weird that they had a dolphin plush at a farming festival. I just don't get it."

I smiled as her hoof hit the small rune burned into the floor, and a small puff of black smoke flew up, a skeletal head appearing in front of her. WELCOME!" The voice of Ragar spilled through my inn. "I am RAGAR THE ATROCIOUS, AND THIS IS RAGAR'S FAVOURITE INN IN EQUESTRIA!"

Pupa jumped back as Jeffry dived into a booth, making me giggle as I grabbed a shot glass. "So, you guys have a fun trip?"

Author's Note:

This is a crossover with my own story of the Worst Equestrian Necromancer. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/412095/the-worst-equestrian-necromancer

Comments

[Viper Pit]

I approve

[TinMan]

I agree that was... nice.

[Herald of Opera]

It's considered good practice to link to the thing you're crossing over with. Just saying.

[ShadedTz]

Poor guy... Hope he's gonna be happier

[DT42]

Huzzah! The fun has been double!

[PaintedPony]

9818283
If it’s NSFW it’s not allowed. Since it’s not linked I’m assuming it is, until otherwise informed.

[Nobodyslament]

9818283
Sorry, it's worst Equestrian Necromancer which is another one of mine. One sec and I'll post a link

[Bobbles]

IT IS GOOD TO SEE RAGAR AGAIN, EVEN IF IT IS OUTSIDE OF HIS INTENDED PLACE! NYEHEHEHE!

[FrostTheWolf]

xD This is brilliant.

Out of curiosity though, what is this crossing over with?

[Heidao]

The "Shepherd Endorsement" method, nice

[Bobbles]

9818335
The Worst Equestrian Necromancer

[FrostTheWolf]

9818365
Hunh... Guess I found something new to read then. Thanks

[Nobodyslament]

9818362
Hi, I'm Nobodyslament and this is the worst story on the citadel

[Vaalintine]

Is this an "official" crossover, done with another author? Or more like a cameo, without any connection to Ragnar's story?

Also the Mr Bones reference makes me think he's from the same earth (or one close enough) as our protagonist. Man, Mr Bones wanting off his own ride? That's wild.

[Nobodyslament]

9818513
The crossover is with my own story, so yeah. It means very little to Ragar, but it happened

[ROBCakeran53]

Okay, I did not see that crossover happening.

Short, but nice.

[Shenzy]

The Inn At The End Of Equestria
Farewell, and thanks for the *BOOP*

[N4rwh41]

(a crossover)

Oh no...

Its Ragar

OH YES!!!!

[Dashie04]

I appreciate that you don’t need to read the source material to understand the story here.

[Fireeaters]

Lol

[Booster Spice]

Breaking and Decorating?

Sounds like something Overlord would do.

[conigwolf]

I read the first two chapters and immediately had to favorite this.

[EnderHooves]

Man, I wasn't expecting this at all. BUT BOY WAS IT GREAT!!!! Its good Ragar got a moment to relax. Its another crossover I didn't know I wanted.

[Dj7291993]

Haha, nice! I guessed who it was off of the title, but it didn’t make it any less enjoyable. Good work!

[SithicKnight]

Celebrity endorsement. Gets em everytime.

[LEGION55]

Love the "Memory room" bit.

[Tesseract417]

GLORIOUS!
Love both your fics dude, and read anything new that crops up.
Will we get to see a crossover in the other direction perhaps?

[ChronoMitsurugi]

When i saw xover, i was hesitant.
Luckily it was Ragar!
Truly this is the greatest xover chapter.

[Yellowtail]

You ever just come back from a hurricane and see a tracking story just got updated? Because now- *puts on sombrero* -now it’s party time.

[ArcherStern]

Heh. I know Ragar.😎

Good to see another chapter, and an appearance of both characters I like.

Good luck with your stories.

[RubberEyes]

It just came to mind, but now I have the distinct impression that Chrysalis will become one of his employees after the wedding fiasco

[Kembrius]

ITS RAGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dashie04]

9818785
Read the source material anyways, it’s great.

[NmB]

When’s the next chapter coming out ?

[Dashie04]

9951197
I just always assume that it’ll be at an undetermined point in the next few months.

[Dashie04]

9962838
...

That’s kind of the whole point of the Inn isn’t it? I presume you haven’t got to ‘The Hitching Post’s Guide to Equestria’, but that chapter states that he does exactly that, regardless of if he met you or not.

[starhunter34]

9932257
What source material?

[Dashie04]

10044012
The Worst Equestrian Necromancer also by this same guy.

[starhunter34]

10044026

Ah, thanks for the quick reply

[Dashie04]

10044029
No problem.

[Storm Shine]

I love this author

[Beanygrow15237]

Is this dead

[Warman1138]

This story needs to continue oh so very badly.

[Teraunce]

Well this needs to continue. Good Job.

[WARGAMES]

Will this return?

[Beanygrow15237]

This is not dead right? Because it better not be dead or ill have a mental break down

[NorthStar]

[KvAT]

bloody glorious read

[Something annoying]

Mister Bones Wild Ride

I get the funny

[Warman1138]

Seriously, this story is too good to let slip by....more story please.