It wasn’t even prime time and the Mare Contraire was already starting to fill up. I wasn’t surprised, given it was one of Canterlot’s best known fillyfooler bars. It was my favorite place to find a nice mare to snuggle up with. It was also where my fam—
“Look out, everypony, the Royal Guard is here!” Dolly snickered from behind the bar as I walked through the door. “She’s going to arrest us for minor infractions!”
Emerald Eyes called, “Quick, Lollypop, flush all of the knockoff Celestia dolls! We can’t have the gift shop gumshoe catching us with the goods.”
“On it, chief!” Lollypop squeaked before rushing towards the back room.
I settled onto a stool next to a unicorn mare with an orange coat before looking at Emerald in confusion. “Where is she going?”
Emerald had her forelegs on the bar trying to look. “To be honest, I don’t know. She’s either really committed to taking instruction, or Dolly has been running a knockoff souvenir stand out of the back.”
Dolly set a glass of sangria in front of me and asked, “How was your day, Sunny?” She then idly flicked her eyes from me to the mare next to me. That was our secret ‘take a look’ move.
When it came to ponies, Dolly was the best kind. She was my bartender, mentor, sort-of mother, and wingmare. She’d seen something in me when I’d first moved to Canterlot, took me in, and taught me responsibility. The added benefit of all that time together meant Dolly knew exactly what kind of mare I liked.
I’m a pretty smooth operator and didn’t really need an assist, but if Dolly wanted me to look, I was going to look. Casually, I levitated my drink and sipped it while glancing at the mirror behind the bar.
The mare was older than me by a few years, but not quite Dolly’s age. She was a fiery orange color and had a short, very conservative, yellow-and-red mane. The bangs framed her face and the look was completed with dark-rimmed glasses. What was Dolly thinking? This gal wasn’t my type at all. She was probably a librarian or a soccer mom.
Now the mare next to her? Absolutely. She was a petite, cotton-candy-pink unicorn with delicate features. Her mane had been braided into two pigtails, each one a mix of red and purple. Her accessory was far cuter, too. It was a fuzzy scarf tied around her neck. That was my type. Maybe that was who Dolly meant?
“Oh, it was a pretty easy day. I did my job, made sure the giftshop was safe, and had tea with the princess. The usual,” I explained louder than I normally would, noticing the mares next to me glancing my way.
Dolly snorted and waved a hoof, then stood upright and wiggled herself into a proper stance. “Oh, my day was so easy!” she said in her imitation Sunny voice. “I just hobnob with the princess. Look at me!”
Lollypop trotted back, covered in sweat. “Okay Emerald, the stuff is gone.”
Emerald looked over at Dolly nervously before asking. “What stuff, Pop?”
Lollypop gave an extremely exaggerated wink and a knowing nod. “Exactly. What stuff!” She then went around behind the bar while Emerald hurried off in a panic.
“Is this place always so weird?” the orange mare next to me asked.
I looked over and nodded. “It is. That’s part of the charm. It’s drinks, fillies, and comedy in one.”
The mare lightly tapped her hoof to her chin. “My, my. How odd. And you spend a lot of time here? Since you seem to be familiar with the happenings.”
I’d pegged her right. She was one of those stuck-up type mares that come into the club to look around all judgmental-like. Usually they were from the nicer neighborhoods.
I smiled. “I do. In fact, I used to work here. We had a lot of fun. If you let your hair down, you might too. You and your… friend there?”
“Wife,” she corrected. The other mare looked around her, smiled, and waved.
For some reason, the orange mare was familiar to me now that I was really looking at her. “Ah I see. So what brings you two out today?”
Orange smirked slightly and just stared at me a moment. I stared back. I was excellent at staring. Finally, she replied, “We’re looking for somepony special.”
“Oh,” I said without thinking. Oh indeed! Soccer mom and her wifey were looking to add a little spice to their relationship? This had suddenly gotten a lot more interesting. “I like to think I’m somepony special,” I said smoothly before sipping my drink.
Pink held a hoof up to her muzzle and softly giggled.
The orange mare’s ear flicked and her head tilted. She took a soft breath and leaned closer. “I see. So you think you’re mare enough for the two of us?”
“Girl, you don’t even know!” I replied, full of bravado.
She looked over her shoulder. “What do you think, Fuzzy?”
The mare leaned on the bar, set her hooves under her chin, and smiled. “Well, as long as she is cool with the incest, I’m game.”
Yes! Wait. Incest? Wait. Fuzzy? Wait. Incest! I squinted and peered at the orange mare. She squinted and peered right back. Then I gasped. “Cheerful? Cheerful Sun!”
Cheerful laughed and leaned back. “Yes, ‘tis I, your older sibling,” she said theatrically before continuing in her normal voice. “It only took you hitting on me and offering a threesome to figure it out. I feel so loved.”
Dolly grinned and set a glass of wine in front of Cheerful and Fuzzy. “Don’t take it personal, girls. She’s not the sharpest spoon in the drawer. She thinks back to front.”
I glared at Dolly, then at Cheerful. “Hey, it isn’t my fault. I haven’t seen you in years! I haven’t even met Fuzzy there!”
Cheerful replied with her usual deadpan snark, “I’m aware. You ignored all my invitations. You didn’t RSVP to the wedding. Mom said the only way to see you was to show up at this bar. Looks like she was correct.”
Emerald trotted back out of the back room. “Lollypop, you absolute maniac, it took me forever to get Mango out of that box.” She then saw me and Cheerful. “Aww, did I miss Sunny try to pick up her sister?”
“Yes,” Dolly replied.
“No!” I protested.
“Lollypop, you come here right now!” Emerald barked before rushing behind the bar.
“You’ll never catch me!” Lollypop squealed before leaping over the bar and galloping out of the front door, yelling on her way out, “That will teach Mango to sleep on the job!”
Fuzzy looked from me to Dolly and then back. “Is this like a show? Oh, I’m sorry, I’m Fuzzy Yarn. We’ve never met but I’ve seen all of your foal pictures,” she said, offering me a hoof.
As we shook, I groaned. “Mom’s doing, I’m sure. Believe it or not, this is not a show and it is pretty normal.”
“I’m not surprised,” Cheerful said. “Mom told me about the stunt she and Dolly pulled on you. This is pretty consistent with that. Besides, she said you were still easy to tease. You used to get really upset as a filly.”
“I’m excitable, not upsetable!” I corrected before eyeing her. “So, you two are just here to see me?”
“Yes, of course. I wanted you to meet my wife. I know we’re not that close, but you’re always going to be my little sister. We’re here for a couple of nights to spend some time with you before moving on to Manehatten.”
“And tour the palace,” Fuzzy slipped in.
“And tour the palace,” Cheerful repeated.
I stuck my tongue out. “You can at least buy a girl dinner before you take advantage of her.”
Cheerful wiggled on her stool, sitting up straight. “I’ll have you know we don’t need Sunny Day’s help to get a tour of the palace. I already have our tickets. We just thought perhaps you’d like to go with us since our time together is pretty short.”
Tour the palace? I’d been working there for a while. What could I possibly see that I didn’t already know? At the same time, this was my sister trying to reach out to me. The adult thing to do would be to go. “On one condition.”
Cheerful’s brow raised. “I didn’t realize we had to negotiate just to have your attention, but go on.”
“I want to smooch the bride on the cheek, since I missed my opportunity at the wedding,” I said.
Cheerful set her hoof on her face. “That’s up to Fuzzy. I’m not selling my wife.”
Fuzzy giggled and poked Cheerful. “Come on, sweetie, she’s just being silly. Of course you can smooch my cheek, Sunny. After all, we’re sisters now, and clearly you’re into that sort of thing.”
Dolly and Emerald, who were ignoring the rest of the bar just to watch us, both burst out laughing.
I could feel the heat in my cheeks. My whole face was red. I’d been outmaneuvered by my sister-in-law in my own bar! With as much dignity as I could muster, I asked, “When did you want to go?”
Cheerful had a little smirk on her face. I think that was her version of a smile. “How about tomorrow around lunch? Do you get a lunch break? I honestly don’t know anything about your job.”
“I do, so I’ll take a longer lunch.” I'd do that and work it out so they had a private tour. I knew a mare that could help and if I was going to go on a palace tour, being with just these two would be enough. I didn’t need a whole tourist group.
“That would be really nice!” Fuzzy said happily.
“Agreed,” Cheerful replied before slipping off her stool. “Alright, we’re going to head to the hotel. I’m sure you have prowling to do.”
Dolly batted a hoof and interjected, “You know she does! If she can get her cool back after what Fuzzy did to her.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” I lied rather obviously, my face turning red again.
Fuzzy Yarn laughed softly and slipped down after Cheerful. She leaned over, kissed my cheek, and the two of them trotted out.
“See you tomorrow,” Cheerful called, leaving me there flushed and embarrassed.
My sangria fluttered off the bar and to my mouth before I downed the whole thing. The empty glass then flew its way into the wash sink. “Well, that was a thing.”
Dolly winked at me. “Yes, yes it was. I’d say a priceless thing.”
“You set me up!”
“You bet I did. We’ve met! We’ve been friends for years! Why would you expect anything different now?”
“I honestly don’t know,” I replied before tapping the bar. Emerald brought me another sangria.
Mango wandered out from the back room looking disheveled. “Hi,” she chirped.
“Hi,” I replied before going back to glaring at Dolly.
She just grinned and moved down the bar to help some other ponies. More mares were starting to show up and fill the place.
Emerald reached over to pat my hoof. “How’s work, filly?”
This was an opportunity to change the subject, so I took it. Emerald teased me too, but she usually let me have a little dignity. “Things have been great, honestly. I’m finally where I’m meant to be. That wall and my ponies are amazing.”
Emerald smiled and winked. “Good. You know we may tease you, but we couldn’t be any more proud. You were a great sodajerk but you’re an even better guard.”
I slipped my hooves over Emerald’s and gave them a squeeze. “Thank you.”
“Now, even though I’m not usually one to support your catty habits, I couldn’t help but notice there is a mare at the end of the bar that has been eyeing you since the moment you came in,” Emerald whispered.
My grip on her tightened. “Emerald, if this is another member of my family, so help me I will find a reason to arrest you.”
The older mare laughed and pulled her hoof free. “It’s on the up and up. The light grey pegasus at the end there.”
When I turned my head to look, there was a flash of cream-colored mane as the mare quickly looked away to make it less obvious she was staring. She’d failed horribly.
“Well, my night is back on track then,” I said to Emerald before hopping off my stool. It was show time. I straightened to my full height, tossed my mane, and started to trot down the bar. With each step my rump bounced just enough to turn some heads.
When I got closer, the mare looked back at me and squeaked in surprise. She had pretty silver eyes that were hidden beneath her bangs.
“Hi there,” I said. “I couldn’t help but noticing you looking my way.”
“Oh! I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude, Lieutenant,” she stammered in reply.
Lieutenant? How did she know my rank? I offered her a hoof. “I didn’t take it as rude. Would you like to dance? That way I could get to know you better since you seem to know me.”
The pegasus mare set her hoof on mine and I helped her off the stool. She was taller than me but she wasn’t holding herself with confidence, so her eyes ended up being lower than mine.
I led her out onto the dance floor and asked, “How about we start with your name? Although, if you like I can call you something corny all night like cute stuff, babe, honey, or slagathor.”
Her nose wrinkled as she snorted a cute little laugh. “Slagathor?”
“Slagathor it is!” I teased before I started to bounce up and down to the rhythm of the song.
“Please no! My name is Almond Mist,” she said, hesitantly matching my groove. “Actually, to be perfectly honest, it is Lieutenant Almond Mist. We both work at the palace.”
Almond Mist? Did I know that name? No. I did not. She wasn’t in any of the meetings I was in, so that meant she wasn’t in my company. She might have been part of the same cohort.
“It’s okay that you don’t know who I am,” she said, cutting into my confusion.
I reached out and stroked her cheek. “I’m sorry that I don’t. I know we’re not part of the same company. Where do you work?”
The mare shivered and smiled. “Records. You’ve probably come into the office a hundred times and never noticed me. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to talk to you, but never managed it.”
Records! That checked out. Those ponies were almost universally nerdy, quiet, and shy. Not as a stereotype for their job field. I just meant the ones in our records department. “What changed tonight?”
Almond Mist bounced in time with the music and flushed. “About four drinks.”
“Liquid courage!” I teased before bumping up against her. “Alright then, you’ve got me talking. Are you sure I’m the sort of mare you want to get to know? I’ve got quite a reputation.”
She nodded, “Yes, that you’re easy.” She then squealed and covered her mouth. “I’m so sorry,” she squeaked behind her hoof.
I laughed. She looked so embarrassed it was priceless. Eagerly I nodded. “Yes, that reputation. Loose, easy, and any other word you’d use. It’s all true. I’m not the kind of girl you take home to your parents. I’m the kind you take home for an evening.”
The mare nibbled on her lip. “That is what I want,” she replied with what I assumed was alcohol-based courage.
That was an interesting proposition from a shy mare. The song we’d been dancing to came to an end, so I took her hoof in mine and led her over to one of the booths. “Oh yeah? That’s really what you’d like?”
She nodded, slipping into the booth. “Uh huh.”
I settled my chin on my hoof. “Do tell. A girl like you?”
She scrunched her face up. “Yes!” she blurted and quickly brought her hoof up to her lips. “Sorry. Yes. Everypony just assumes I’m this perfect little filly. I can have a wild side, too. I figured you’d understand.”
Almond Mist was the repressed librarian type and her tight pony tail was about to come down. My tail swished beneath the table and I looped a hoof around her. “I understand perfectly. Now, we both have duty tomorrow, so yours, mine, or the desk in your office?”
The mare’s breath caught, and she set both her hooves on my chest. “My desk, right now!”
Sold! I grabbed her hoof and pulled her up. “Let’s go!”
In my entire life, I don’t think I’d closed the distance between the bar and the palace so quickly. From an outsider looking in, it probably looked like we had an emergency. We’d both thrown our passes in the gate guard’s face and hurried into the administration building.
While Almond Mist fumbled with the keys to the records office, I kissed the back of her neck. That led to a soft gasp from her before she finally got the door open and we rushed inside. She literally flew to her desk. All I could do was chase after her.
“This one is mine!” she huffed, splaying her front half across it.
There wasn’t a more obvious signal than that, so I threw myself wholly into what I did best. From there, things got very hot, heavy, and sweaty.
I wasn’t sure how long we’d been together before we’d fallen behind the desk. That didn’t stop us, of course; it just briefly knocked the wind out of me. Almond had apologized, I’d just pressed my lips back to hers, and she went bananas. That girl had a lot of repression to work out.
We were an hour or so in before she froze and stuck her hoof over my mouth. It was kinky enough. I wiggled under her, but then saw her ears were straight up. That was when I focused, too. She’d somehow caught the sound of keys jingling. That was followed by the door opening.
“Hello? Who is in here?” came a voice that I recognized. A voice that I really wished I didn’t recognize.
Almond popped right up. “Me, ma’am!”
“Lieutenant Mist, what are you doing here so late? And in the dark?” the voice of Vice Colonel Glamour asked.
I tried not to move but Almond’s rump was right by my face, so I nuzzled it.
“Ma’am! I had something to do on my desk,” she replied sharply while her coat puffed up in the back.
“In the dark, Lieutenant?”
“I didn’t notice ma’am. I was in such a hurry to do it I just got right to it.”
The lights then flipped on. “You’re such a dedicated officer, Mist. Next time, be sure you at least turn the lights on. Your eyes will wear out if you aren’t careful. And don’t work all night.”
“Yes, ma’am! Thank you, ma’am!” Almond replied. Her eyes tracked motion and then I heard the door close. She breathed a sigh of relief. I, sensing we were now safe, stuck my muzzle up against her belly, causing her to squeal.
She tumbled over and started to giggle. “By Celestia. I can’t believe I got out of that!”
I waved a hoof. “Don’t worry, if we’d been caught, I’d have told her I seduced you. She’d believe that.”
Almond peered down at me as her giggles faded. “Why would you do that?”
“No sense in both of us getting in trouble. You finally had your big night of irresponsibility and if it went bad, you might not show up at the bar again and paw me like a pent-up lioness.”
She swatted my face. “I’m not— Okay, you know what, I am. I’ve never done anything remotely like this, but I loved every minute of it.”
I rested on my back and grinned. “Good. So, has the moment passed or do you want to go again?”
Almond Mist bit her lip, briefly looked at the door, and then flopped down on top of me. Another round it was, then!