Chapter 1: Questions, Answers, and Exposition
After calming Apple Bloom down (or at least getting her to stop whining about how they needed to change the group name), the three not-ponies decided to resume their questions. After all, there were still a lot of unanswered things to be asked, and fillies their age weren’t going to wait.
There was just the matter of deciding who would be the first to face the bombardment. Naturally, the fillies went with the most obvious method of choosing.
“Ok, whoever the bottle points to goes first, and then we go to her left. Agreed?” asked Scootaloo.
With nods from the others, Scootaloo gave the bottle a spin. After a few seconds it stopped… pointed directly between Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.
Three hooves met three faces, though Apple Bloom was careful not to knock her head off again.
“Ok, on second thought, I’ll just go first since I shared my secret first,” said Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gave their approval, and the questions began anew.
“Ok, first things first, what’s the deal with changelings and ghouls?” asked Apple Bloom.
“It’s complicated. I’m probably going to have to share our entire history to answer that,” Scootaloo sighed.
The eager looks from her friends told her that that was EXACTLY what she was going to do.
“Ok, I’ll try to give the short version: Back when the Smooze was covering Equestria-”
“Wait, the Smooze?! Isn’t that that evil purple gunk from prehistory?!” interrupted Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom just stared at her.
“Sweetie, how the hay do you know that? We’re talking about stuff from, like, a thousand years before Hearth’s Warming. It’s not exactly something we learn in school,” said Scootaloo.
Sweetie Belle gave an embarrassed chuckle. “Well, you see there was this one time I tried cooking applesauce and… oh, come on!”
Sweetie Belle had noticed the looks her friends were giving her.
“I know my cooking skills aren’t that good, but-“
“Aren’t that good?! Sweetie, do I need to remind you about the time you somehow burned juice?” asked Scootaloo.
“That was just the one time! And I was only trying to warm it up a bit,” grumbled Sweetie Belle.
“She’s right ya know. Even Pinkie said no to yer cupcakes while she ate mine. And mah batch was burnt black,” added Apple Bloom.
Sweetie groaned before continuing. “The point is, my sister mentioned how my apple sauce looked like the Smooze reincarnated, so I asked Twilight what that meant.”
“And? What exactly is this Smooze?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Basically a giant evil living blob of poisonous goo. They say it ‘sang and starred’ as it covered the land. I think that’s a fancy way of saying the nasty stuff it did to ponies it touched,” said Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo shook her head. “Actually it’s because it had eyes and… Never mind. The point is, this stuff was destroying the world, and it needed to be stopped. So the six pony tribes agreed to-“
“Six? Since when were there six pony tribes?” Apple Bloom interjected.
“Actually, there were originally seven. The terrans, alas, cornu, thestrals, salvares, papili, and hippocampi,” said Scootaloo.
Apple and Sweetie Belle just stared.
“Earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, bat ponies, gem ponies, flutter ponies, and sea ponies,” said Scootaloo with an eye roll.
“Oh. What happened to the other four tribes?” asked Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo sighed. “Well, the bat ponies all died before the Smooze came during a war with some kind of evil force. Luna makes her guards look like them in their memory, or something like that. The gem ponies sort of went extinct because they kept getting married with the other tribes. What’s left of them was… well, ARE the crystal ponies, but they’re really only crystal versions of the other tribes, not their own tribe. The sea ponies were never seen again after they fled into the ocean depths, and the flutter ponies were the ones who sacrificed themselves to get rid of the Smooze.”
“To make a long story short, the flutter ponies basically gave up their magic to seal that gunk inside a mountain. Flutter ponies are really small, you see, so without their magic they were pretty much helpless. To keep them safe, the other tribes created a sort of mini-dimension where they would be protected from everything from bees to strong winds. They’re still there, actually. They only come out to collect pollen from important flowers that can’t grow in their home.”
“Wait… Are you talking about the breezies? I thought they were just rare pony-like bugs,” said Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo shrugged. “Well, without their magic, that’s pretty much all they are. They’re so helpless they need pegasi to make them very specific kind of breeze to even reach the pollen they need. That’s where they got their new name. It’s also why all of ponykind helps them in their journey. They’re so helpless because they gave up their magic for the rest of us.”
“Huh. That’s an interestin’ story, but what does that have to do with changelings?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Well, there’s a part of the story that nopony knows. For the seal to work, half the flutter ponies had to be inside the seal when it was cast. With the Smooze,” said Scootaloo.
“Eww…” said Sweetie Belle, “The stories said that the Smooze did nasty things to ponies who just touched it! And they were stuck with…“
The light above Sweetie’s head lit up. Literally. It was getting dark out and Apple Bloom had flipped the switch.
“Wait. Is that where the changelings come from? Flutter ponies that soaked in the Smooze for… however long?” she asked.
Scootaloo smiled. “That’s it exactly, Sweetie. That’s where the changelings come from. Flutter ponies corrupted by the Smooze. It’s why we have fangs, cocoons, disguises, and everything else even though we never use them. Well, most of them.”
“Wait, if changeling were flutter ponies trapped with the Smooze, than how’d y’all get out without breakin’ the seal? Last ah checked there ain’t some evil goop runnin’ ‘round. And what does any of this got ta do with ghouls?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Well…” Scootaloo scratched the back of her head, “That’s another long story, but basically a bunch of evil ghouls used some dark magic in an attempt to summon the Smooze out of the mountain, but picked us up instead.”
“So a bunch of ghouls saved ya, and ya hate ‘em for it?” asked Apple Bloom with a raised eyebrow.
“No, we hate them because they were trying to release the Smooze! I mean, keeping it trapped is the reason we became changelings in the first place! It’s really important to us that it stays that way! We’ve been fighting a war with them ever since they broke us out. So, yeah, we changelings have serious issues with ghouls,” explained Scootaloo.
“Ah see...” said Apple Bloom with a sigh, “But uh, yer gonna tell all the other changelings that ah’m not a bad ghoul, right?”
Scootaloo raised her (nonexistent) eyebrow.
“Uh, Apple Bloom? What makes you think I’m going to tell the rest of my hive that you’re a ghoul in the first place?”
“Well, changelings are bugs, right? And y’all have hives like bees, so don’t y’all have some kind ah mind-sharin’ thin’ goin’ on?” asked Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo gave Apple Bloom an awkward look.
Oh dear, thought Scootaloo’s mother, That’s not exactly a logical conclusion, but it’s not as if she’s wrong.
“Er… Ah didn’t insult ya by callin’ ya a bug, did I?” asked Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo shook her head. “Nah, we even call ourselves bugs. It’s just that I can’t believe you figured out the hive-mind just because we have hives.”
“So you DO have a mind-sharing thing going on? Can you talk to other changelings right now?! Can they hear what we’re saying?!” asked an increasingly nervous Sweetie Belle.
“Yes, yes, and only my mother. And that’s because she’s focusing on me right now. She says hi, by the way,” said Scootaloo.
Now you’ll have to properly introduce me, said Scootaloo’s mom.
Later mom, replied Scootaloo.
Sweetie took a few deep breaths, and calmed herself down. “Ok... Ok, I’m good. So there isn’t a giant crowd of insects watching me… er, no offense…”
Scootaloo just rolled her eyes. “It’s still not an insult, Sweetie. I just said we call OURSELVES bugs all the time. If you want to insult a changeling, call us parasites. Are you two planning on apologizing every time you call me a bug?”
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom rubbed the back of their necks.
Scootaloo facehooved. “Tell you what, I’ll forgive any bug jokes if you two forgive any zombie or robot jokes. Deal?”
“Deal.” The others answered back.
“Ok, next question,” said Scootaloo.
“Well... why do changelings need love? Ah mean, can’t y'all just love each other or somethin’?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Because we’re a race infected by the Smooze, Apple Bloom. That stuff sucks the happiness and joy right out of you. Love is the only thing that can really resist it. Helps us stay ponies and not turn into the monsters we look like. And we need love that hasn’t been touched by the Smooze yet, so yeah, we take love from others.” answered Scootaloo.
“Wait, changelings can’t feel happiness?!” asked Sweetie Belle.
“We can, just not for long. But that’s only if we’re hungry. When we’re well fed we can feel them the same as any other pony,” said Scootaloo,
“So, uh, how does the whole ‘eat love’ thing even work?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Well...” Scootaloo put a hoof to her mouth, “It’s kind of hard to explain to a non-changeling. I guess I could say it’s like… drinking sort-of-magic from another pony?”
She shook her head.
“Ok, that sounded stupid. Give me some time to think of a better way to describe it,” she said.
“So… how much love do you have to take before a pony starts to, you know, start acting like a… zombie?” asked Sweetie Belle with an awkward look at Apple Bloom.
“We agreed not ta be insulted, Sweetie,” said Apple Bloom with a wave of her hoof.
“And the answer is, a lot. Like, ‘weeks of constant draining’ a lot. And that’s taking love that isn’t directed at us. When it is directed at us, we can take almost all of it without affecting the pony at all,” said Scootaloo.
“Ok… there’s been a rumor goin’ ‘round that changeling venom causes other ponies to turn into more changelings…” said Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo sighed. “That is, unfortunately, true. I don’t know how that got out, but yeah. It takes a TON of venom and it takes several hours before it even starts, but it’s possible. It’s also the single greatest crime a changeling can commit.”
“How serious?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Serious enough to consider being stripped of their magic as a possible punishment,” said Scootaloo.
All three fillies shivered at the idea. There was a reason anything related to magic draining was illegal to all races of Equis, even the non-magic ones, and not just because of how painful they tended to be.
“So, yeah. The only time a changeling would even THINK about using his or her venom would be if the pony in question was, I don’t know, dying or something and the venom was the only way to save them. Which is almost impossible because of how long it takes for the venom to work,” explained Scootaloo.
“So… changelings have genders?” asked Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo gave her an annoyed glare. “Yes. Yes we do, Sweetie Belle. Any other questions?”
Sweetie Belle put a hoof to her mouth before shaking her head. “No, that’s everything I can think of. For now, anyway.”
“Ah got a few more. How good are y’all at changin’? Can y’all turn into things other than ponies?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Well… I’m still too young to do anything fancy. And even for full grown changelings non-pony disguises are really hard to do. Possible, but hard,” said Scootaloo.
“So… what can ya do?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Well, aside from my pegasus form…” Scootaloo said as a flash a green flames consumed her, “I can also do an earth pony and a unicorn.”
Sure enough, when the flames died down Scootaloo the unicorn stood before them. The only hint that she was anything other than a normal unicorn was that her horn seemed a tad too sharp, but it was easy to miss. That, and it was really hard for the other crusaders to get over the fact their normally-pegasus friend had no wings.
“Wait, if you can be any tribe, why a pegasus?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Well…” Scootaloo rubbed the back of her neck nervously as she burned away her disguise, “There’s a complicated process every changeling goes through when they get ready to head out into pony society. Our queen oversees as we demonstrate our abilities and-“
“Scoots, did you just pick a pegasus because of Rainbow Dash?” interrupted Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo sighed. “Ok, so maybe that had some part of it, Celestia knows how many times she unknowingly flew over our hive when I was a foal, but picking one’s race really is a lot more complicated than that. We are kind of choosing which abilities we want to develop, after all. A changeling disguised as a unicorn isn’t going be a skilled flyer.”
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle silently agreed not to point out that Scootaloo wasn’t exactly a skilled flyer herself, despite her disguise choice.
“So… any other questions?” asked Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom let out a sigh. “Nah, that’s it for me too. Since ah shared second, ah guess it’s mah turn for questions now.”
“Ok, so you mentioned that you ran into a town of ghouls in the Everfree. What exactly happened?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Well, ah was taggin’ along with Twilight when she was visitn’ Zecora. It was late when we were headdin’ home, and then a bunch a’ trees fell an’ blocked the road. While ah was waiting for Twi to clear the way, ah saw a pony wandering off into the forest. Or at least ah thought it was a pony, didn’t get a good look at it, and ah decided to follow it,” said Apple Bloom.
“Wait, you saw something that might have not been a pony, in the middle of one of the most dangerous places in Equestria, and you decided to follow it into the forest? Apple Bloom, that was really dumb!” said Scootaloo.
“Yeah! Remember what happened the last time we tried exploring the forest?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Y’all mean the time ah wandered in and y’all just stood there?” asked Apple Bloom with a raised eyebrow.
“You were on a path Apple Bloom. We thought you were going to see Zecora. And Sweetie Belle's talking about the cockatrice,” said Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom sighed. “Yeah, Ah know it was stupid of me, but Ah thought I saw another pony lost in the forest. Ah couldn’t just leave her.”
“I don’t know Apple Bloom. That sounds a lot like the start of every ghost story ever,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Ah ended up in a town full a’ ghouls, Sweetie. It IS a ghost story,” said Apple Bloom.
“Oh, right,” said Sweetie with a blush.
“So anyway,” continued Apple Bloom, “Ah followed it into what looked like a small town. Now, it seemed normal enough, despite bein’ in the middle of tha everfree. The ponies around seemed real friendly-like, and there was some kinda party goin’ on. But ah noticed somethin’ wrong right away: none of the ponies had cutie marks!”
“So you found a town in everfree that no one’s ever heard of before full of ponies who didn’t have cutie marks, and you never thought ‘hey, there’s something wrong here, I should probably leave?’” asked Scootaloo.
“It was dark out, Scoots. Ah figured that if Twilight went lookin’ for me I’d best be near somethin’ she’d see from a distance. Besides, if ya saw a town full of grown-up blank flanks, wouldn’t ya wanna find out why they’re all blank?” said Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo sighed. “Ok, I can’t argue with that, but at least tell me you didn’t just join the party and forgot you were in the middle of the Everfree.”
“Ah didn’t. Ah asked around a little, an’ poked in a few of their houses. That’s where Ah found what was wrong. Turns out that they were all blank flanks because they thought a cutie mark was a curse of some kind. Getting one meant that you made a deal with a tartarus spawn or somethin,” said Apple Bloom.
“What? That’s just stupid. Ponies have had cutie marks since, well, ever!” said Sweetie Belle with a raised eyebrow.
“She’s right. Cutie marks were a gift from the all-mother. Every pony in history has had one. Or at least was able to get one. Well, until the flutter ponies gave up their magic and… nevermind,” added Scootaloo.
“All-mother? Ya mean Lauren?” asked Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo gasped. “Apple Bloom! You’re not supposed to say her name!!”
“Ah know. ‘Sacred beyond words’ and all that. That’s why the apple family calls her Lauren. We came up with the name because we got tired of always calling her ‘the all-mother.’ Doesn’t sound right to call her somethin’ distant like that, ya know? And really Scootaloo, wouldn’t a goddess have a name that sounds more, well, like a goddess?” said Apple Bloom with an eyeroll.
“Wait, who are we talking about?” asked Sweetie Belle.
The others looked at her like she had grown another head.
“The all-mother? The one who created the world, and everypony in it? The mother of Celestia and Luna? The one they loved so much that they have never taken the title of queen in respect of her?” questioned Scootaloo.
“Oh, that all-mother. My parents always called her Queen Faust.” said Sweetie Belle with a nod.
Scootaloo facehooved, “What is with you ponies and giving the all-mother nicknames?”
“Well, my mom said that it was sort of a unicorn tradition because ‘all-mother’ makes Queen Faust sound like some kind of baby factory. Whatever that means,” said Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo wasn’t sure how to respond to that.
“Let it go, dear. The nicknames are not disrespectful to the all-mother,” her mother added.
Fine… thought Scootaloo with a sigh.
“Anyway, the point is that there’s no reason in the world for any pony to believe something as dumb as cutie marks being bad. How in Equestria was there an entire town of them?” asked Sweetie Belle.
Apple Bloom shrugged. “Ah have no idea, honestly. Twilight said she had a theory about an ancient pony cult that thought Lauren (Scootaloo gave a huff) was to blame for all the nasty thin’s that were invading Equestria after she left, or somethin’ like that.”
“Ok, so they were a town full of weirdos who thought Queen Faust was evil. Somehow. That doesn’t explain the zombies. I mean, I don’t think Queen Faust would turn them into zombies just because they didn’t like her,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Well, from what ah could gather a filly in their town got a cutie mark by accident, and then the rest of the town got really mad at her and... Well, let’s just say that ah found her bones in a fireplace,” Apple Bloom said with a shiver.
The other crusaders shivered as well.
“So... they killed her, and she came back as a zombie and killed everyone in the town in revenge?” pondered Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom stared at her.
“What? It’s a ghost story. That’s what usually happens,” said Sweetie Belle.
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, “Yeah, but not for this one. The pony that died was the only one not a ghoul. Ah don’t know how they became zombies, but it wasn’t her. Ah remember one of them mumbled about how it was their fate because they killed her, but ah don’t know why.”
“OK, back to your story, how’d you get away?” asked Scootaloo.
“Well, after Ah found the body them ghouls decided to drop the act and tried to get me. They keep goin’ on about ‘saving me from the cursed mark’ or somethin’. Ah made a run for it, and managed to get a ways out of the town, but Ah tripped, and one them ghouls grabbed mah hoof.”
“It felt… really cold, ya know? And that cold was creeping up mah leg, turning it black like the rest of ‘em. But it wasn’t even halfway up mah leg before Twilight and Zecora found me. Twilight blasted them ghouls away, while Zecora shoved a potion down mah throat that made me black out.”
“Next thing Ah know, Ah’m sittin’ in Zecora’s cauldron as she and Twilight are sealin’ mah curse, two weeks later. The town was gone, and Ah was a ghoul.”
Apple Bloom let out another sigh.
“Mah family was there too. It was…”
“Awkward?” suggested Scootaloo.
“Depressing?” suggested Sweetie Belle.
“Ah was gonna say sad, but yeah, those work too. Applejack kept cryin’ every time she looked at me. Granny was mumblin’ about some exo-somthin’ or other. And Big Mac… well he didn’t say anythin’ but he kept lookin' at me with a serious look on his face. More serious than usual, Ah mean,” said Apple Bloom.
“Er… they still care about you, right?” asked Sweetie Belle nervously.
“Of course they do! They still give me funny looks from time ta time, but they never once said that Ah’m not a part of the family no more! Applejack once said she’ll turn into a ghoul herself before she turned her back on me,” said Apple Bloom.
“OK, that’s good to know. My parents took my secret pretty well too,” said Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo nodded her approval as well.
“Ok, any other questions?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Well, you kind of already answered everything I wanted to know in your story. I mean, I know a fair amount about ghouls already, and you just finished filling in the blanks,” said Scootaloo nervously.
“I think I still have a few. What’s it like, being a ghoul?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Well, aside from feelin’ like ah’m made of sticks, it’s cold. Really cold. Y’all have no idea what it’s like to feel cold on tha inside,” Apple Bloom said before she paused and looked at her insect and robot friends.
“Er… do ya?” she asked.
“Nah, changelings are ponies with bug parts. We’re warm on the inside like any other pony,” said Scootaloo.
“And my wires and stuff are actually pretty warm most of the time,” added Sweetie Belle.
“Ok then, yeah. Y’all have no idea what it’s like,” said Apple Bloom.
“Ok, next question, do you eat brains?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“No,” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo answered together. Apple Bloom turned to her friend in surprise.
“Ghouls don’t eat brains. Besides, If you did there’s no way you’d go six months without chomping down on Twilight, or your brother, or miss dictionary over there,” said Scootaloo pointing to Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie replied with an eye roll. “I don’t think I even have a brain.”
Apple Bloom responded by giggling.
“Yeah, it would be hard to resist brains like those. But yeah, Ah don’t eat brains. Ah still eat hay and fruit and everythin’ else like a normal pony.” she said.
“OK, one last question. Can you still age? I mean, yeah, you’re technically dead, but are you going to be a filly for the rest of your…uh... un-life?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Ah’m pretty sure ah can grow up. Ah still eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom like any other pony. And Applejack mentioned she thought Ah’m still getting taller last time she checked. What about you, Sweetie Belle?” asked Apple Bloom.
“I… don’t know. I still don’t know how long I’ve been a robot, so I can’t tell you if I’m still growing or not,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Ya said ya still eat ‘n sleep, don’t ya?” asked Apple Bloom.
Sweetie Belle sighed, “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m getting bigger. I’m a robot! Shouldn’t I be eating metal or something if I wanted to grow up?”
Neither Apple Bloom nor Scootaloo had an answer to that.
“OK. Anythin’ else y’all wanna know?” asked Apple Bloom.
Sweetie Belle put her hoof to her mouth for a moment before saying, “Nah, that’s it for me.”
“All right, guess it’s your turn, Sweetie,” said Apple Bloom.
“OK, but there isn’t a lot I can answer,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Hm… can you tell us how you found out you’re a robot?” asked Scootaloo.
“Yeah, but it’s not as exciting as prehistory or a town of zombies. I was just making some peanut butter and jelly sandwi… really?” She said, noticing her friends’ (once again) horrified looks.
“Sweetie, the burnt juice…” reminded Scootaloo.
“I didn’t even turn on the stove this time! And Rarity was right next to me to make sure I didn’t ruin anything. And I was making the sandwiches for you two. Both of you had been pretty depressed lately for some reason, though I guess it’s kind of obvious why now," said Sweetie Belle.
The other crusaders couldn’t decide whether to be touched by how much she cared for them, or relieved that these sandwiches never saw the light of day.
“Anyway, While I was spreading the jelly I slipped, sending me to the floor and the knife I was using into the air. And as luck would have it, the knife ended up landing pointy-side down in my gut,” continued Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom cringed at the mental image.
“Well, Rarity and I started panicking. I mean, I had a knife sticking out of me! But then I noticed that the knife didn’t hurt. And I wasn’t bleeding either. Yeah, it hurt when it landed, but after that I couldn’t even feel it."
“While Rarity ran around shrieking how I had become a pincushion, I tried to pull the knife out. I figured that if I wasn’t bleeding and it didn’t hurt, then it couldn’t be serious, right? I probably could just take it out, and I’d see that the knife was only caught in my coat, or something.”
“Really?” deadpanned Apple Bloom.
“I was still panicking Apple Bloom, give me a break,” said Sweetie Belle with an eye roll, “But, when I reached over and tried to pull it out of me, I found that it was stuck. I wiggled it around a little, trying to get it loose, but then there was a loud click, my stomach opened up, and, well, you girls know what I saw.”
The others nodded.
“The sight of my robot insides made Rarity faint, so I was on my own trying to figure out what was happening to me. Or had happened I guess, I was definitely a robot by then. I screamed, I cried, I tried poking my insides a bit…”
“Er… Sweetie? Can you skip this part? I mean, did you actually learn anything from touching your own guts? Even if they aren’t really guts…” interrupted Scootaloo.
“Besides, Ah don’t think we need to know how much ya panicked over this,” added Apple Bloom.
Sweetie shrugged.
“Yeah, that’s a good point. But I did learn that my wires are ticklish.” she said, before noticing that Scootaloo looked VERY uncomfortable.
“Sorry. Anyway, after a minute or so Pinkie came in. She said something about her Pinkie sense, but then gave a gasp when she saw me on the floor with my stomach open. She said ‘Wow, Sweetie Belle! I never knew you were a P-300 model!’ before closing me up and giving me a hug.”
“P-300? Ah know it’s Pinkie and all, but what the hay’s that supposed to mean?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Isn’t that the name of the robot from that adult movie? The Exterminator?” suggested Scootaloo.
“Nah, ah’m pretty sure that one’s called the DI-135,” said Apple Bloom.
The other two stared at her.
“It was on the poster. Why would Ah want to sneak into an adult movie? Remember what happened last time we tried that?” reminded Apple Bloom,
Scootaloo shivered. That two hour romance film had scarred her for life, despite her being a love eating changeling!
“Er… can we just say it was Pinkie being Pinkie and move on?” she asked.
Sweetie shrugged. “It was probably just a joke about some other movie robot anyway, but there really isn’t much else to say. Rarity woke up, called my parents, and we all had a long talk about why I was a robot. My mom said I was definitely born a normal pony (not that she said how she knew that), but there was no way to know if I had been a robot for years or just for two days.”
“So… what’s it like, being a robot?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Not that different, actually. Other than when I’m looking at myself in a mirror I barely even notice it. Well, that and the fact that I sometimes make weird noises when I walk,” said Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie Belle got up and walked around the clubhouse a bit. Sure enough, there was a small noise coming off of her with every step.
“So… do ya have any cool robot powers?” asked Apple Bloom.
“I don’t know,” said Sweetie Belle with a shrug.
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom paused to think. It was hard to ask Sweetie Belle questions about something that she didn’t know much about. Then Scootaloo remembered something Sweetie Belle had said earlier.
“Wait...you mentioned something about a ‘full-robot mode.’ What that?” asked Scootaloo.
Sweetie Belle sighed, “Exactly what it sounds like. Pinkie Pie somehow figured out that I can go full robot. I start talking and acting like a machine, using really big words that I don’t even know the meaning of, and my vision gets all funny. I start seeing numbers and lines everywhere.”
“Can ya show us?” asked Apple Bloom.
Sweetie grimaced.
“Yes, but I really don’t like doing it. It makes my head hurt, and it kind of freaks me out,” she explained.
“Ah’m not askin’ ya to stay that way, just to show us,” said Apple Bloom.
Sweetie Belle sighed. “Ok, just give me a second…”
Sweetie seemed to go stiff for a moment, her eyes flickering, and then:
“ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE. UNIT READY FOR INPUT,” said Sweetie Belle, her voice now distinctly machine-like.
“Woah…” said Scootaloo.
Sweetie Belle turned to face Scootaloo. Her eyes seemed… sharper, for lack of a better word.
“SCANNING… SUBJECT IDENTIFIED AS CHANGELING UNIT: SCOOTALOO. STATUS: FRIEND.”
“Well, ya definitely sound like a robot now, though it’s kinda weird…” said Apple Bloom.
“SCANNING… SUBJECT IDENTIFIED AS GHOUL UNIT: APPLE BLOOM. STATUS: FRIEND.”
“Come on, Apple Bloom, this is kind of cool! She’s a full-blown robot!” said Scootaloo.
“THIS UNIT DISAGREES WITH UNIT SCOOTALOO. THE ACT OF BEING AN ARTIFICIAL LIFE FORM IS NOT ‘COOL.’”
Scootaloo gave a huff.
“Come on, Sweetie Belle! You could probably ace every math exam ever like this. Like… what’s six times six?” she asked.
“6 MULTIPLIED BY 6 RESULTS IN 36. WARNING: THIS UNIT IS EXPERIENCING LARGE AMOUNTS OF ANNOYANCE. REQUESTING IMMEDIATE CEASE OF AGGRAVATION.”
Scootaloo gave an awkward chuckle. “Sorry Sweetie. But to have to admit this is kind of neat.”
“EXECUTING EXASPERATED SIGH,” said Sweetie Belle before sighing, “THIS UNIT RELUCTANTLY AGREES WITH UNIT SCOOTALOO. SADNESS LEVELS AT 32%.”
“Hm… Yer sayin’ ‘this unit’ a lot. Ah know yer talkin’ ‘bout yerself, but can’t ya give yerself a name too?” suggested Apple Bloom.
“PROCESSING REQUEST…” said Sweetie Belle. “REQUEST ACKNOWLEDGED. ASSIGNING DESIGNATION TO: THIS UNIT. ASSIGNING DESIGNATION: SWEETIE BELLE. LOADING… LOADING… ERROR: DESIGNATION SWEETIE BELLE ALREADY ASSIGNED TO ANOTHER UNIT.”
“Wait, what?!” exclaimed Scootaloo.
“DESIGNATION SWEETIE BELLE HAS BEEN ASSIGNED TO M.P.S. UNIT 23457. PLEASE ASSIGN AN ALTERNATIVE DESIGNATION FOR THIS UNIT.”
“MPS Unit? What they hay is a… wait, Apple Bloom, write that down! This could be a clue about why Sweetie Belle’s a robot!” said Scootaloo.
“On it.” replied Apple Bloom, who had already pulled out some paper and a crayon. “Unit two-three-four…”
“ASSISTANCE REQUESTED IN ATTEMPTS TO ASSIGN DESIGNATION,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Hm…” Scootaloo put a hoof to her mouth. “Well, how something close to your name? Like a nickname we could call you while you’re in ‘full-robot’ mode. How about… Sweetie Bot?”
“SUGGESTION ACKNOWLEDGED. LOADING… LOADING… DESIGNATION ASSIGNED. THIS UNIT HAS BEEN SUCCESSFULLY DESIGNATED ‘SWEETIE BOT.’ WARNING: BAD PUN DETECTED. ANNOYANCE LEVELS AT 56%.”
Scootaloo gave Sweetie Belle a confused look.
“Wait, you have some kind bad pun sensor? Why would a robot have a… Nevermind, you probably don’t know anyway,” Scootaloo sighed.
“UNIT SWEETIE BOT IS…”
Suddenly, Sweetie Belle started twitching.
“WARNING: UNIT SWEETIE BOT’S M.P.S. SUFFERING COMPATIBILITY REJECTION. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE DEACTIVATION OF COMPUTATION SYSTEMS,” she said.
“Wait, What?! You have one of those MPS things too?!” exclaimed Scootaloo.
“REQUEST IMMEDIATE DEACTIVATION OF COMPUTATION SYSTEMS,” repeated Sweetie Belle, still twitching.
“OK, OK. Deactivate the whatever. That twitching doesn’t look healthy,” said Scootaloo.
“SHUTTING DOWN COMPUTATION SYSTEMS…”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes flickered again, before she shook her head and rubbed it with a hoof.
“Gah…my head...” she mumbled, her voice back to normal.
“You ok, Sweetie?” asked Scootaloo.
‘Yeah, just… ugh… just give me a second… That always makes me feel like I just got zapped by lightning,” said Sweetie Belle, still rubbing her head.
“Did you get all that Apple Bloom?” asked Scootaloo.
“Yep. Even the part about her havin’ a MPS. Whatever the hay that means,” replied Apple Bloom.
“I’m not sure, but I think we can safely say that Sweetie Belle’s not the only robot in Equestria,” said Scootaloo.
“What makes ya say that?” asked Apple Bloom.
“She said something about unit two-three-something. As in there must be a unit two-two-something, and a unit two-one-something. I mean, you don’t give something a number unless you plan to make more, right?” answered Scootaloo.
“So… it’s not just me?” said Sweetie Belle, shaking the last of her headache away.
“I think so. When changelings are born they’re typically given numbers before they’re named. I was number 14 of my clutch before I was named Scootaloo because I had 13 older brothers and sisters. I think this might be the same idea," said Scootaloo with a nod.
“We also know that there’s an MPS thing called Sweetie Belle. And that Sweetie Belle has one too. Y'all don’t think that’s Sweetie’s MPS is number two-three-four? Ah mean, why else would it be called Sweetie Belle?” added Apple Bloom, looking over her notes.
The other two just shrugged.
“What is a MPS anyway? Magic Pickle Song? You sounded like you knew what it was, Sweetie Belle,” noted Scootaloo.
“Well… When I go full robot my head sort of overflows with stuff I don’t know. I have no idea what the hay I was saying,” admitted Sweetie Belle as she rubbed the back of her neck.
“Still, at least we learned that robo-you knows somethin’. Maybe we can try and get somethin’ out of it later when yer head’s up for another go," suggested Apple Bloom.
“That’s probably a good idea. Wish I’d thought of doing that sooner. Maybe then I could have answered more questions,” admitted Sweetie Belle.
“Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle. We’ll figure this out. I’m positive Sweetie Bot will get us the answers we need,” said Scootaloo while giving her friend a pat on the back.
“Sweetie Bot?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Well, since full-robot you knows things that not-full-robot you doesn’t, I think we should call it something else,” explained Scootaloo.
“Not that. I’m asking why you came up with such a stupid name,” said Sweetie Belle with an annoyed look.
“It’s not stupid. A bit punny, but come on. We live in Ponyville! Everything’s a pun here,” said Scootaloo.
“Doesn’t mean you should help it along,” argued Sweetie Belle, “Anyway, you two have any other questions you think I can answer?”
“Nah, Ah’m good,” said Apple Bloom.
“Well… I guess I have one. Can Sweetie Bot tell if a pony is a changeling? It said something about scanning,” asked Scootaloo.
Sweetie shrugged. “I don’t know. Are there any changelings in town we could try it on?”
Scootaloo put a hoof to her mouth. “I’ll have to ask my mom first, and then I’d have to find one willing to let you look at them, and we have to do it in a way that you wouldn’t know he or she’s a changeling…but I guess we’ll worry about that later.”
“Ok, so we’re all done with questions now?” asked Sweetie Belle.
She was met with a pair of nods.
“So… now what do we do?” asked Sweetie Belle.
The changeling, ghoul, and robot just looked at each other for a bit.
“Well… how about we get this slumber party goin’? Ah mean it’s dark out now, we got all weekend to figure this stuff out, and we did have to talk our sisters into letting us have one after the fire we started last time. No point in lettin’ a few secrets keep us from havin’ fun tonight,” suggested Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked at each other for a minute, before nodding.
“Yeah, we’ll worry about this secret stuff more tomorrow. Let’s party!” said Scootaloo as she turned back into a pegasus.
Apple Bloom re-tied her ribbon, and in a blink she was back to her yellow self.
The three of them had a fairly normal sleep over for the rest of the night. Or at least as normal as it could be with the CMC. Needless to say there was a great deal of chaos and a few new burn marks on the walls before they finally decided to call it a night. Despite everything they had on their minds, the three little not-ponies slept better that night than any of them had in weeks.
Even Sweetie Belle, though her dreams were full of sheep again.
Stats
Page generated in 0.029 seconds
Total duration
972 users online
1,448,152 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
So, BlankBloom, Scootaling and Sweetie Bot?
OMG I GOT THAT LAST REFERENCE.
I love this; a very tongue-in-cheek yet genuine take on the fandom's version of the crusaders; I look forward to seeing where this goes.
Interesting. I have to admit that I've never read the ghoul story and I've never heard of Scootaling, but you explained it well enough that it wasn't distracting.
I knew that picture looked familiar. I wonder what your take on it will be.
This is awesome so far! Great idea. Guess I have another idea for drawing!
Can't wait for the next chapter! 
That was fun. But how do you explain green dapper! Smooze?
Take all of my internets.
THis story is great, only one problem. The coverart is very misleading because it show extremely broken-hearten CMC.
6034303
Yes, but it's also the only pic on the internet with BlankBloom, Sweetie Bot, AND Scootaling. If you know any alternatives, I'm all ears.
At first I thought this was a remake of a very simular CMC story. Hopefully this one lasts longer. (Actually it already is twice as long.)
Any one know what M.P.S. is referring too ?
Machine pony systems?
meta programing systems?
something something systems?
aaannnd thats all i got
Mechanical Pony Simulacrum?
6034320
...Could be good for foreshadowing. Ya know, racism and stuff. Diamond Tiara that bitch could probably get a kick outa this. Tease them into this?
Or she could piss her nonexistent pants. Either one works.
Love the story!
We still don't know if androids dream of electric sheep, but apparently equoids do.
Interesting things going on here. I'm in. Let's see where it goes!
6034152 I don't exactly understand the green Smooze either. But, in the My Little Pony Movie (1986), Smooze was purple and covered everything he touched in ooze and made them unhappy. I liked the purple Smooze, but the green Smooze was definitely a little better to the show.
A part of me wants to complain, but I know I'm not the first to come up with this idea, I definitely won't be the last, and Curiosity Maintenance Crew has been stalling for... way too long now anyway. Besides, this is actually pretty good writing.
Greetings, I'm Anemptyshell.
I'm glad someone finally wrote this story, lel, I have literally had this idea in my head forever. Good on ya, I look forward to greatness.
I doubt you'll disappoint.
Story of the Blanks! Lol, nice job with that. No idea about the MPS. Metal Pony Solid......lol. Mare Pony Specimen? Military Police Shocktrooper!? Eh, I got nothin'.
6034585 ʍaɢɨċ քɛʀ sɛċօռɖ?
Electric sheep?
Aaaaaaaall of the references!!!!!!!! I love it!!!!!!!!
interesting. I like it
Should be "nods".
Magical Pony Surveillance?
...
What? We have to be getting the information to make the show somehow.
so she's an android.
Mechanical Pony System is something I think would work.
Some nice world building here. I love your explanation for how the flutter ponies became the breezies and why ponies take care of them now. And tying the changelings in with the Smooze was a great idea.
Well, I'd think she'd know considering she gave birth to Sweetie Belle. You don't generally give birth to something made of metal.
6034819 I've heard of Scootabug, I've heard of Sweetie bot. I have not heard of Apple Ghoul... mind directing me to the possible origin of that idea?
6034968 something something something The Aristocrats!
6035084
Story of the Blanks fangame
Basically Applebloom enters the Everfree and finds a village of ponies.
Ponies who turn out to be Cursed Undead Blankflank ponies.
If she doesn't escape, she will become one of them.
Also "applebloom blank" in google image search will suffice.
Wait... does this mean Scootaloo's mom can literally make food filled with her love for her daughter???? Because I bet that tastes awesome! And I suggest the Crusaders go as their true forms for Nightmare Night and see if Luna might be able to give some answers to questions they have. Oh, and they need to surprise Diamond Tiara in their true forms, scare the bejebus out of her, and pretend they're testing out Nightmare Night costumes. Even better if Apple Bloom 'looses' her head for a moment and then speaks while it's lying on the floor.
I think the MPS is some kind of electro-magical pulse.
6035084 Apple ghoul. Smells with Fallout 3 for miles.
Well this is cute, and weird, and soooo intriguing.
6035084 Fairly certain it comes from the horror flash game, don't remember its name though, but the base of it was just like the story she told.
I love the reference to "Story of the Blanks".
Mechanical Pony simulator
Magical Pony Simulator
Mind Partition System
NEXT CHAPTER! We find out Babs Seed also has a secret! Turns out she's a SPACE ALIEN!
6035161 Fkin... why ppl with that grimdark shiz... Thanks, looked up. Glad to help understand the story, a little pissy bout the dark theme. *sigh* well its a good read so far, continue
6035224 couldnt help it. the imagery was there
The "partition" thing seems most likely. Mental Partition Sector, possibly.
MPS...
Mechanical Pony Substitute?
Massive Power Storage?
Minimal Perception Shield?
...
Okay, I haven't even read the fic yet, and as soon as I saw the title Undead Robot Bug Crusaders I started singing it to the tune of the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme.
I can't decide if this was just brilliantly named, or if there is something wrong with me.
*goes to read*
Hey, yeah that second chapter was a loooooong exposition of stuff. I mean, now that that's out, here's hoping the story can really move forward. Let's see where you take it, although it's going to be a tough one with so much going on in all fronts. Also... you really need more thorough editing.
6035650 I liked:
Do androids dream about electronic sheep?
6035080 Well sweetie said she had some kind of filter, preventing ponys from knowing she's a robot, so it is possible that she was somehow surgically inserted into her mother, and then birthed like a normal filly, despite being a robot.
6035650
Fixed. Thanks for pointing that out.
1 Magitech Ponyform Simulacrum?
2 I wonder how she keeps in shape without regular maintenance. Does she have some magic/nanotechnology system repairing her constantly?
3 I also wonder, how many of the crazy CMC shenanigans Scoot's mom was aware of.
4 With Scoots having 13 siblings... and all the other things that might pretend to be ponies, I wonder how many actual ponies there are left - Equestria has much lower population than Earth.
5 Despite the comedy and slice of life disclaimers, I'm expecting some sort of crazy adventure at some point.