Chapter 7: Lich-Ghoulie
“What the hay is going on?!” Sweetie Belle cried as she paced back and forth.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shared uncertain looks. Sweetie Belle had come running up to the clubhouse that morning saying she’d heard some kind of weird voice in her head last night. It wasn’t that they didn’t believe her, it was just she’d arrived half an hour ago and still had yet to provide details.
“Uh, Sweetie Belle?” asked Scootaloo.
“What?!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.
“If you keep pacing like that you’re gonna wear a hole in the floor,” said Scootaloo.
Sweetie Belle looked down. She’d been dragging her hooves and was grinding away the floorboards.
“Oh. Sorry,” she said with a blush.
Apple Bloom shook her head.
“Alright, why don’t ya just calm down a bit and tell us exactly what ya heard,” said Apple Bloom.
Sweetie Belle sighed.
“It was just one line: ‘We shall see.’ At first I thought maybe it was Sweetie Bot developing a mind of it’s own or something, but then I realized that the voice didn’t sound machine-like at all. In fact, it sounded like a stallion’s voice. I… I think I’m being watched, or something,” she explained.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shared another uncertain look.
“Did you recognize the voice at all?” asked Scootaloo.
“That’s just it. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that voice before in my life, but there’s something familiar about. You know, deja vu?” said Sweetie Belle.
Apple Bloom sighed.
“Just sayin’ it’s a stallion’s voice that sounds familiar doesn’t help us much, Sweetie Belle. Look, hearin’ voices in your head isn’t somethin’ we can ignore, but do we have any other clues as to what this means?” she asked.
“No, and that’s just the problem. I feel like it’s just on the tip of my tongue, but I really have no idea,” admitted Sweetie Belle with another sigh.
“Well then, unless we wanna go ‘round askin’ every stallion in Equestria to say that phrase, Ah doubt this will help us find any answers. Don’t get me wrong. Ah think this is really important, but right now it’s just another piece of the puzzle. We need more pieces before we can fit this one in with the rest,” deducted Apple Bloom.
Sweetie Belle rubbed her hoof on the floor.
“Yeah, you’re right. I mean, after everything we learned yesterday, I guess this isn’t that crazy. I just hope whoever said it isn’t going take control of me or something. We never considered that I might have a built in remote control, or something as scary as that,” she mumbled.
Yeah, that does sound kind of scary. Ah don’t wanna think about what would have happened if those everfree ghouls had some kind of way to control me. At least, Ah don’t think they have a way to control me, thought Apple Bloom as dread began to creep into her.
Sweetie Belle let out another sigh.
“You know what? We spent all day yesterday trying to learn why I’m a robot and got more questions than answers, and this new development isn’t helping either. At this point I just want a day to kick back and not think about it for a bit,” said Sweetie Belle.
“You sure about that Sweetie Belle? I mean, we could just see what other neat things you can do instead of trying to figure it all out,” said Scootaloo.
“I’m sure,” said Sweetie Belle with a frustrated look.
Apple Bloom kind of wanted to see what other neat things Sweetie Belle could do too, but decided it would be best not to push it.
“Alright then. Anypony have any non-robot ideas for today?” asked Apple Bloom.
Before anyone could answer, there was a knock on the door.
“Apple Bloom? You and the girls in here?” called Applejack.
“Yeah, sis. What’s going on?” asked Apple Bloom.
Applejack walked in with Pinkie Pie bouncing along behind her.
“Hi everypony! Ready for another exciting day of learning?!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.
The CMC raised their eyebrows.
“Uh, Pinkie? What are you talking about? Twilight said she’d need a while to look over everything from yesterday,” said Scootaloo.
“Oh, this day of learning isn’t about Sweetie Belle, silly filly! It’s about Apple Bloom!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.
“Wait, what?” asked Apple Bloom with a raised eyebrow.
“Well… AfewdaysagoIsentaletterto…” Pinkie’s very fast explanation was cut off as Applejack put a hoof to her mouth.
“Pinkie here sent a letter to some old friends of hers that know a thing or two about bein’ undead, askin’ them to come visit so they could talk to ya. They arrived this mornin’. Since Big Mac’s takin’ care of the farm for us, we’re goin’ to spend the day with them,” clarified Applejack.
“Wait, really?” asked Apple Bloom as excitement and nervousness began to rush into her.
“Yep! We just need to make our way to the far side of Sweet Apple Acres to meet them!” exclaimed Pinkie.
“Uh, by ‘know a thing or two about being undead,’ you don’t mean they are undead, do you?” Scootaloo asked nervously.
“Oh they are! But they’re not ghouls, so there’s no way they’re those nasty meany-pants your family’s been fighting with, Scootaloo,” reassured Pinkie.
Scootaloo’s expression only became more horrified.
“But… but if they're not ghouls, and they can talk, then that must mean they’re…” she stammered out.
“Yep! They’re liches!” declared Pinkie with a smile.
Scootaloo looked at Applejack, silently begging her to say it was a joke.
“Nope. She’s dead serious. Or undead, Ah guess,” said Applejack with a shrug.
Scootaloo’s jaw dropped. Sweetie Belle outright fainted. Apple Bloom looked around in confusion.
“Uh… what’s a lich?” asked Apple Bloom.
Everypony turned toward Apple Bloom in disbelief. Well, except Sweetie Belle since she was out cold.
“Apple Bloom, they’re one of the three kind of undead! How the hay can you not know?! Did you do any research about being a ghoul at all?!” exclaimed Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom rubbed the back of her neck nervously.
“Ah did! It’s just Ah only read about ghouls. Ah didn’t think Ah’d have to worry about other kinds of undead,” she mumbled.
Applejack sighed. Scootaloo shook her head.
“Ugh, forget it. Pinkie Pie, why in Tartarus are you friends with liches?! Do you have any bucking idea how dangerous they are?! And you want us to just walk over and talk to them?! What the *yay* is wrong with you?!” exclaimed Scootaloo.
Applejack scowled at Scootaloo’s word choice, and Pinkie Pie got a very serious look on her face.
“I know I can a bit loopy at times, but I’m not stupid. Of course I’m not going to have you three talk with somepony that dangerous. I enjoy having a planet to live on too, you know. My friends are only liches by technicality,” Pinkie said in a very sharp tone.
Everypony, except Sweetie Belle, stared opened eyed at Pinkie.
Scootaloo blinked before letting out a relieved sigh.
“Oh... you must mean Bear Bone and Kamikazi. OK, yeah. They should be able to help Apple Bloom. Sorry I yelled at you, Pinkie,” she admitted.
Pinkie’s serious face vanished at a speed Rainbow Dash would be jealous of.
“It’s OK. Everypony else says more less the same thing when I tell them. It’s why I worked on my ‘ I’m serious now,’ face,” said Pinkie.
“Bear Bone and Kamikazi?” asked Apple Bloom. Those names didn’t sound very friendly and were making her kind of nervous.
“Yeah. My hive’s heard about them. They’re a pair of traveling liches that got a pardon from the Princesses because of how they were cursed. I don’t know the details, but apparently they never cast any dark magic themselves but still ended up liches somehow,” explained Scootaloo.
Huh. Well, if they’re friendly undead then they probably know a lot about ghouls. Maybe they can tell me a thing or two, thought Apple Bloom.
“By the way, where did you learn to be such a potty mouth, Scootaloo?” asked Pinkie.
Scootaloo blushed.
“It’s not just words. When you’re part of a hivemind, you tend pick up on… adult things when you’re really young,” she explained.
“So, what exactly is a lich? Ya said somethin’ about three kinds of undead, right?” asked Apple Bloom as they made their way across the farm.
“Yeah: zombies, which are just corpses being animated with dark magic; ghouls, which are souls bound to their corpses by dark magic; and liches, which are powerful but evil magic users who keep themselves alive with dark magic,” explained Scootaloo.
“It’s a bit more complicated than that, Scootaloo,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah, but nopony wants to hear the full version,” said Scootaloo.
“Ah do,” deadpanned Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo sighed.
“Fine. You can explain, Miss Dictionary,” she said to Sweetie Belle.
“Well, in short what makes liches so dangerous is not only that they wield incredibly powerful dark magic, it’s almost impossible to stop them. Liches have what’s called a phylactery, which is the source of their magic. If you can’t find their phylactery, you can’t do anything to harm a lich, not even draining their magic” explained Sweetie Belle.
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” commented Apple Bloom.
“Yeah, except the only way to make a phylactery is by performing a forbidden spell that needs a sacrifice of at least ten souls to cast,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Oh,” was all Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah, oh. Because of this, liches are all kinds of illegal. Anypony who’d be willing to cast something like that is almost certainly evil,” said Scootaloo.
“Most of them, anyway. There are a few exceptions, like the royal dark magic specialist in Canterlot and my friends,” added Pinkie.
Apple Bloom turned toward Pinkie with a raised eyebrow.
“OK, first: how do you know that? Second: why the hay do we have a royal dark magic specialist? And third: how did you make friends with a pair of liches anyway?” she asked.
“I heard it from a friend, I have no idea, and why don’t you ask them yourself?” said Pinkie as she pointed her hoof ahead.
Apple Bloom turned to see two ponies standing at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres. It was immediately apparent that they were undead, as they had several holes across their bodies, revealing bone at a few locations. She could also feel some sort of dark power emanating from them. They had to be Bear Bone and Kamikazi.
Bear Bone was a large brown earth pony stallion, almost as big as Apple Bloom’s brother. His patchy black mane, ragged coat, and sharp tooth cutie mark made him seem rather bear-like. But he had a friendly smile on his face, and when Apple Bloom look into his eyes she saw that there was a gentleness in them that suggested he was far nicer than he appeared.
Kamikazi was the opposite. The red coated pegasus mare had a fairly small frame, a bright yellow mane, and cutie mark of a cheerful-looking explosion. At a glance, she seemed like a natural party pony. Her eyes, however, had the glimmer of a pony itching to cause mischief. Her expression was one Apple Bloom saw all too often on Rainbow Dash when she was planning her next prank.
Apple Bloom felt her nerves go on edge again.
“Hi guys! It’s so good to see you!” said Pinkie as she hopped over and gave her undead friends a hug.
“Glad to see you too, Pinkie,” said Bear Bone, his voice deep and cheerful.
“Yeah, though could you let go? Just because we don’t need to breathe doesn’t mean we like having our lungs crushed,” said Kamizaki in a grating tone.
“Oh, sorry! Everypony, these are Bear Bone and Kamikazi. I’ve been friends with them ever since I was a little filly on my rock farm!” said Pinkie as she let go of her old friends.
“I liked you better back then. You didn't talk as much,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.
“Kazi,” chided Bear Bone with an eyeroll.
Pinkie Pie just giggled.
“Oh Kazi, you’re always so funny! Anyways, I’d like you to meet my other friends. There’s Applejack, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom,” said Pinkie, pointing to everypony as she said their names.
“A pleasure to meet you all. I hope you don’t mind us creeping onto your property like this, Miss Applejack. We didn’t want to make a scene by walking into town,” said Bear Bone, offering his hoof.
“Nah, it’s fine. We’re alway happy to have guests here on the farm. Besides, since y’all are here to help mah sister, Ah think it’s only fair we’d do things your way,” said Applejack as she accepted the hoofshake.
“Ah, so the you're the ghoul we came all this way to talk with then,” said Kamikazi as she walked over to Apple Bloom.
“Uh... yeah, Ah am,” said Apple Bloom nervously.
Kamikazi put a hoof to her mouth and tilted her head.
“Hm… yep. That’s a class G undead curse right there. A really powerful one at that. Looks like it’s been sealed up good and proper too,” she noted.
“Wait, you could tell Ah was a ghoul and that mah curse was sealed at a glance?” asked Apple Bloom in surprise.
“Yep. One of the perks of being a lich. We have a way with undead things even if we’ve never read a book on black magic in our lives. Course, we did take the time to read up after we were cursed, but my point stands,” explained Kamikazi.
Guess they really do know a thing or two about Ghouls. What did she mean by a class G, though? thought Apple Bloom as she started to relax a bit.
“Well, nice to know we’re workin’ with professionals,” said Applejack.
“Oh, we’re hardly professionals. We’re just two awesome adventurers who happened to obtain almighty dark powers,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.
Apple Bloom was starting to suspect that Kamikazi never took anything seriously.
She was also starting to like her.
A little later, all of them were gathered around a picnic table to have a small lunch. Applejack had insisted on treating their guests before talking about Apple Bloom, and maybe getting to know them a little better.
“Apple family cooking certainly lives up to it’s reputation. It’s been awhile since I tasted something this delicious,” said Bear Bone as he bit into an apple fritter.
“Yeu. Almosh ash gool as fa shamblef eggs bag home. Almosh,” said Kamikazi through a mouthful of apple pie.
“Kamizaki grew up on a poultry farm. When she compares food to eggs, it’s her way of giving a compliment,” explained Bear Bone.
“Huh. Guess her cutie mark story is a lot like Pinkie’s then. Grew up on a farm, but found her calling elsewhere,” noted Sweetie Belle.
Kamikazi swallowed.
“Yeah, but I didn’t need no rainbow in the sky to find my talent. I made my own big boom. I was born to be a master of chemistry,” said Kamikazi.
“You’re a chemist?” asked Applejack in surprise.
“Yep. This pretty thing on my backside? I got it while mixing up a nice little chemical reaction,” said Kamizaki with a sneer.
“So you make explosions then?” asked Scootaloo with an excited look.
“Yep. Mostly bombs, in fact: fire bombs, ice bombs, bombs that work like wind-up toys, and lots more. I once even made an egg bomb. I called it the scrambler,” said Kamikazi with confident smirk.
“It’s also how she earned her name. Her parents named her Egg Yolk, but her habit of using excessive firepower tends to leave quite the impression, usually in walls,” stage-whispered Bear Bone.
“You’re darn right I earned it! I never cared much for the peaceful life,” said Kamikazi with nod.
Scootaloo had stars in her eyes. Applejack looked less than thrilled to learn about this, and slowly edged away from Kamikazi.
“As for me, I got my cutie mark while exploring the woods near my home. I’ve alway had a knack for spotting things, and collected everything from acorns to caterpillars. What cemented it for me was when I started a small collection of bear teeth. It got me my cutie mark, and an idea of what I wanted to do with my life,” said Bear Bone.
“Yeah, the Bear family’s in the honey business. Too bad the bees never liked Bonehead here very much. He was more than happy to have an excuse to leave home,” said Kamikazi.
“Very true. At first, I figured my eye for detail would be best suited for archaeology, but I never really had the head for numbers that career requires. So instead I decided to become an treasure hunter. I crossed paths with Kazi, who had left home in search of some excitement, and the two of us have been working together ever since,” said Bear Bone.
“Yep. Between my wits and Bear’s brawn we became quite the team. Oh, the adventures we’ve gone through: exploring new lands, picking up tons of golden goodies, doing incredibly difficult favors and getting valuable paper scraps as rewards… yeah, those were the days. We even saved the world once or twice,” said Kamikazi with reminiscent smile.
“It’s also how we meet Pinkie Pie. We stumbled onto her farm one day while following a treasure map, and the Pie family insisted we stay for the evening. We ended up back in the area again fairly often on adventures, so we always stopped by when we had the chance,” said Bear Bone.
“Yep! And their epic stories were what convinced me to head out and spread parties all across Equestria! Well, until I found Ponyville and liked it so much I decided to stay, but you know how it is,” added Pinkie.
“So you two are a lot like Daring Doo, then? I mean, I knew you were liches but I never realized you were awesome adventurers too,” said an excited Scootaloo.
Kamikazi scoffed.
“Oh please. That wannabe? We were exploring ancient tombs before she was even out of diapers. The only reason she’s more famous than us is because she decided to publish her own adventures. If we’d come up with that idea first…” grumbled Kamikazi.
Bear Bone rolled his eyes.
“We’ve been over this, Kazi. Letting somepony else take the spotlight makes it harder for ponies to find out we’re liches. Just because the crown’s given us a free pass doesn’t mean most ponies are going to give us the benefit of a doubt,” he chided.
Kamikazi sighed.
“I know, I know. Stupid curse…” she mumbled.
“Uh, how did you become liches, if you don’t mind telling us?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“We don’t mind at all. It actually a really interesting story,” said Bear Bone.
“Yeah, and also not for squirts. Let’s just say it was very messy, especially when that crazy witch doctor got involved. Trust me, you don’t want to know the details,” said Kamikazi with a wave of her hoof.
Bear Bone rolled his eyes.
“I agree we shouldn't say everything, but I think we can just skip over the gorier parts,” said Bear Bone.
“Yeah, if you want to also skip over the fun parts, and I’ve had enough of boring story time. Look, short version: we were exploring an evil witch’s tomb, found something really evil, blew it up, and ended up cursed into liches as a result,” said Kamikazi.
“Well, we can at least say a little more than that, Kazi. I’ll add that it involved an evil machine that used pony souls to keep somepony alive forever. When we destroyed it, all the dark magic and trapped souls were released in an unstable state. Next thing we knew, we were both liches, full of incredibly powerful dark magic, and a pair of phylacteries were on the ground next to us,” said Bear Bone.
“Turns out that the dark magic designed to grant eternal youth was a perfect match for an eternal life spell. Who’d have guessed?” snarked Kamikazi.
“Afterwards, we turned ourselves in. There’s no way to hide dark magic like that, and we figured we’d face the end as dignified ponies instead of being hunted down. To our surprise though, Princess Celestia declared that since we didn’t actually cast any illegal spells and actually destroyed some dangerous dark magic, we would be cleared of all charges and free to go as long as we left our phylacteries with the authorities.”
“Not skin off our backs, really. The stupid things were hideous anyway. But undead or not, we’re still the best, if not the most famous, adventures in Equestria and beyond. Though having our bones visible can get annoying at times,” said Kamikazi with an eyeroll.
Apple Bloom paused to think about what they had just said.
Ah’m impressed. They don’t let being undead stop them at all. They just kept right on goin’ as if nothin’ had happened. Ah wonder if Ah can grow up to be like that? Thought Apple Bloom.
“Huh. That’s pretty interesting,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah, you guys are really cool!” cheered Scootaloo.
Pinkie nodded with a smile.
Applejack also nodded, though she was still leaning away from Kamikazi.
“Anyways, that’s enough about us. Care to tell us why you’re also one of the undead, flower girl?” Kamikazi asked Apple Bloom.
“I see… Sunnytown. We’ve been hearing rumors about a place like that for awhile now. I take it the Princesses told you that it’ll likely be a long time until it reappears, right?” asked Kamikazi.
Apple Bloom nodded.
“Yeah, that place sounds like bad news. You’ve very lucky to have gotten away, Apple Bloom. I also think we should have a word with Miss Sparkle when have the chance. I’m very impressed by her spellcraft. This is not a easy curse to seal,” said Bear Bone.
Apple Bloom didn’t feel particularly lucky for having stumbled upon the town in the first place, but kept it to herself.
“Anyway, your condition is what’s known as a class G. If that doesn’t mean squat to you then congratulations: you have not been reading books on dark magic. What it does mean for you, however, is that your body is not only being held together by dark magic, it can actually be regenerated by it,” said Kamikazi.
“Well, to a limited extent. There’s only so much the magic can do against decay without proper training, and teaching you the finer aspects of dark magic would be a violation of our parole, so to speak. But as you get older and your magic develops, you should start looking like your old self and your body will hold together better without the need of your bow, but again there is a limit to this,” explained Bear Bone.
“But for now, if you end up permanently losing a leg or something, it’ll grow back in a few days,” finished Kamikazi.
“Huh. That’s useful to know. Not that Ah was plannin’ on losin’ a leg or anythin’, but still,” said Apple Bloom.
“Yes, and there’s also a few neat tricks you can do,” said Kamizaki.
Apple Bloom tilted her head.
“Tricks?” she asked.
“Yeah. Being undead does have it’s upsides, such as cool zombie powers. Like this…” said Kamikazi before she torn off her own head.
Applejack jumped in surprise. Scootaloo turned away, her face green. Everypony else just shrugged. They’d seen it coming.
“Alas, poor me. I knew her well. May she be long remembered for her wits, explosions, and smoking hot body,” said Kamikazi as she held her head high.
“Kazi…” said Bear Bone with a roll of his eyes.
Apple Bloom giggled. If nothing else, Kamikazi was good at taking things in stride.
With a chuckle, Kamikazi slammed her head back on.
“Anyway, I bet you already know that trick if you're half as fragile as you look. I’m also willing to bet you’ve been using the second trick without realizing it. You noticed the dark magic we’re both carrying around like a bad smell, right?” asked Kamikazi.
Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, but you’re liches. It’s kinda expected, right?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Expected, yes. Easy to spot without proper understanding, no. Dark auras like ours are hard to detect without knowing what to look for or casting a spell to find them. The ability to spot dark magic isn’t limited to liches and forms of necromancy. You can sense all forms of dark magic, Apple Bloom,” explained Bear Bone.
“Yeah. It it wasn’t for the patches in their flesh, I’d never have guessed they were liches,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Same here. I can’t see any dark aura,” added Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom blinked.
So… Ah can see dark magic? That’s kind of cool, thought Ah hope Ah never really need to use it, thought Apple Bloom.
“Yep. So if anypony you know turns evil, you’ll be able to spot it before they try to take over the world,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.
She was met with a few giggles and a few eyerolls.
“Anyway, there’s also one more trick you can do that’s exclusive to class G’s,” said Bear Bone.
“Realy? What?” asked Apple Bloom.
Bear Bone opened his mouth speak, but Kamikazi put a hoof up to stop him.
“Oh no, we done nothing but sit around and talk all day. We’re adventurers, not babysitters. If she wants to learn it, she’s getting off her little flanks and learning the adventurer way: getting her hooves dirty,” announced Kamikazi.
Bear Bone thought about it for a moment, then sighed.
“Alright. Experience is the best teacher, after all. Would you mind taking your bow off, Apple Bloom?” asked Bear Bone.
Apple Bloom gulped, but took her bow off and trotted up to the liches. She wasn’t used to being exposed like this out in the open. The calls of encouragement from her friends and family helped though, as did Bear Bone’s reassuring smile.
“Alright, I know Kamikazi wants you to learn this the direct way, but I think we should explain it a little bit before you start. Do you remember how the ghouls from the town approached you?” asked Bear Bone.
Apple Bloom shivered. She hated having to remember details about that night.
“Yeah. They sort of crawled out of the ground,” said Apple Bloom.
“So, if they came out of the ground, how did they get down there in the first place?” asked Bear Bone.
Apple Bloom put a hoof to her mouth in thought.
“Well, Ah want to say it was because they were buried after they died, but that doesn’t make any sense. Ah mean, if they were undead they probably wouldn’t just lay there in the dirt all confused for years and years, so… Ah guess they buried themselves or somethin’,” she deducted.
“Exactly. But there’s more to it than just digging. Kamikazi?” said Bear Bone as he turned toward his friend.
Kamikazi walked up to Apple Bloom and put a hoof on her head.
“Now don’t panic, this is perfectly natural in a twisted undead way. Also, don’t hold your breath, kid. It’ll help with the claustrophobia,” said Kamikazi before she started pushing down on Apple Bloom.
Apple Bloom felt some strange, yet familiar, energy build up inside her. And then Apple Bloom started sinking into the ground.
“Whoa nelly!” cried Applejack.
Apple Bloom didn’t even get a chance to gasp before her head slipped beneath the soil.
As her vision turned black, however, the rest of Apple Bloom’s senses exploded. Her hearing grew sharper, her skin could feel and identify every grain of dirt around here, and she suddenly became aware of several auras, not just dark ones, all around her.
Woah… is this what Sweetie Belle feels when she goes full Sweetie Bot? No wonder she keeps getting’ overwhelmed!” though Apple Bloom. Her head was swimming just by standing still!
“Knock knock,” said Kamikazi as she stomped a hoof on the ground.
Apple Bloom heard her perfectly. She could also feel the force of Kamikazi’s stomping resound through the earth and could tell from her aura that she was standing just in front of her on the surface.
“Apple Bloom? Are you OK?” asked Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom could feel Scootaloo as she walked towards where she had sunk. She could also pinpoint exactly where Scootaloo was through her new aura sense, which covered Scootaloo in a bright green light.
“Hold on now, Scootaloo. Apple Bloom, can you try moving toward your friend?” asked Bear Bone.
Ah can move like this?! Thought Apple Bloom in disbelief.
Feeling a little foolish, Apple Bloom tried to move. To her surprise, she did. The motions were wild and jerky, but she actually slipped right through the dirt as if it were water!
She moved right under Scootaloo, and could actually feel the weight of her friend pressing down around her.
She also had a moment of inspiration.
She reached out with her hoof, felt it rise out of the ground, and grabbed Scootaloo's leg.
“AH!!” screamed Scootaloo as she jumped away.
Everypony else starting laughing.
“He he, good one Apple Bloom!” called Pinkie.
Apple Bloom pushed her head up and gave an apologetic grin to Scootaloo.
“Sorry Scoots. Ah couldn’t resist,” she said with a chuckle.
Scootaloo gave a huff, and turned away.
“I’ll get you back for that, Apple Bloom,” she mumbled.
Still chuckling, Apple Bloom pulled the rest of her body out of the earth. It was amazing how the dirt seemed to switch between fluid and solid as she climbed. Once out, there was no indication on the ground that she’d just risen out of it. Even the grass seemed unaffected.
“As you can see, class G ghouls’ magic manifests in interesting ways. As an earth pony, you’ve gained the ability to move through the ground. Though keep in mind that using this ability for too long can be very taxing on your senses, Apple Bloom,” explained Bear Bone.
“And as you just learned, it can be really useful for pulling pranks. Or slipping behind somepony who needs good bucking, if that’s more of your thing,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.
Apple Bloom took a deep breath and tried to come to terms with this.
So that energy Ah felt while I was sinkin’ was mah earth pony magic? Wow… Between this, Sweetie Bot, and Scootaloo’s changeling powers, it almost like we’re a trio of super heroes! thought Apple Bloom as her self-worth skyrocketed.
After teaching Apple Bloom how to earth-dive, as it was called, the rest of the afternoon was fairly uneventful. Bear Bone and Kamikazi had several other small pointers for Apple Bloom, such as tips on the dangers of overexposure to salt, the proper way to use soap, the importance of a well-balanced diet, and so on. Still, they agreed that after six months Apple Bloom already understood all the important parts of being a ghoul, so there wasn't’ too much more for them to teach her.
They also were happy to share more stories about their less horrifying adventures, and Scootaloo ended up declaring Kamikazi the second most awesome pony in Equestria. Applejack, however, made the CMC Pinkie Promise never to try recreating some of their crazy activities. Apple Bloom had to agree with her sister. As cool as it was to hear about, she really didn’t want to try outwitting an ancient puzzle spirit herself. She was never any good at jigsaws.
Finally, as the sun started setting, the lich duo were ready to head out.
“Thanks for having us. It was very nice to meet you,” said Bear Bone.
“Yeah. The trip was worth it for the food if nothing else,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.
Everypony except Applejack and Bear Bone giggled. It was hard not to find the snarky pegasus entertaining.
“Anyway, feel free to send us a letter if you need anything. It might take awhile for us to arrive if we’re in the middle of something, but we will take the time to come visit,” said Bear Bone.
“Thank ya kindly. Though Ah hope ya ain’t plannin’ on bringin’ any of your… tools, with ya when ya do,” said Applejack.
Kamikazi rolled her eyes.
“You know, part of being good with explosives is knowing how not mess up with them, right?” she snarked.
Applejack sighed, but didn’t comment.
“It was so, so, so good to see you guys again! You have to stop by again some time so I can give you a proper welcome to Ponyville party!” exclaimed Pinkie.
“We’ll hold you to that Pinkie. We always look forward to your parties,” said Bear Bone with a smile.
“Welp, we off then. You wanna swing by that Twilight Sparkles’ place on our way out?” asked Kamikazi as the two of them turned to leave.
“I think it’d be rude to bother her unannounced. We’ll send her a letter in the mail saying we’re coming and stop by on the way home. Now… I believe we should be heading south?” said Bear Bone.
“Nah, southeast,” answered Kamikazi.
Bear Bone sighed as the two of them started walking.
“Kazi, we were planning to avoid the Everfree…” mumbled Bear Bone.
“Plans can change. Come on, we’ve sleepwalked through places more dangerous than this,” said Kamikazi.
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean we have to look for trouble. We’ll have plenty of excitement once we reach the badlands,” argued Bear Bone.
“Yeah, but if we take the long way somepony might beat us to the loot! Remember that time with that stupid canary?” asked Kamikazi.
“Oh, not this again…” groaned Bear Bone.
“We had to use a bucking toy mouse! Our hooves were practically bleeding by the time we were done! And we could have avoided it if we’d just…” cried Kamikazi.
Their voices faded as they walked away.
“Ya got some interestin’ friends, Pinkie,” said Applejack.
“Yep, but I think they managed to see past everypony's’ craziness and have a good time,” said Pinkie Pie as she hopped away.
Applejack sighed and gently put a hoof to her head.
“Ah swear, Pinkie, one of these days,” she mumbled as she turned and headed off herself.
Apple Bloom turned to face her friends.
“Ah don’t know about y’all, but Ah think Ah learned a lot today. Ah actually feel a lot better about mahself now,” she announced.
“Well, at least you learned more about yourself than I did, Apple Bloom,” said Sweetie Belle with a sad smile.
Apple Bloom shook her head.
“Don’t be like that, Sweetie Belle. We’ll figure Sweetie Bot out someday too, Ah promise,” she said.
Sweetie Belle sighed, but nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, but it’ll have to wait. We’re going to be busy tomorrow,” said Scootaloo with a sigh of her own.
“Why’s that, Scootaloo?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Because I just got a message from my mom. Everything is ready. We can head out and visit the hive first thing in the morning,” admitted Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle cheered.
Scootaloo just shook her head.
Tomorrow was going to be a looooooong day.
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Okay, I've got no clue who you're actually referencing as Bear Bone and Kamikazi, but if I'm gonna go out on a limb here, I'm gonna say Banjo and Kazooie, just based on the vague knowledge I have about the game. Still an enjoyable chapter no matter who they are!
I can only see good things come from this. I guess it didn't match up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for nothing, eh?
7765502 I was struggling to figure out who they were references to... But B&K fits like a puzzle piece. I applaud your cleverness.
Cool chapter! I can't wait to see what's gonna happen when they visit Scoots family
I bet that voice isn't even someone important. He's some low-level technician who immediately afterward said "Oh horseapples, my hoof was on the mic! I hope it didn't hear that."
It's been awhile since I played the game so I don't remember all the characters, but the title reminds me of grabbed by the Ghoulies. I love that game, did I get it right?
Awesome chapter by the way!
Banjo and Kazooie? Come on it hasn't been that lo.. 1998!!! Damn, I guess it has been that long and so bad it ended with that god awful Nuts and Bolts.
hmmm...
"Lich"
Finn and Jake from Adventure Time?
Of course Pinkie is long-time friends with litches. Why wouldn't she be?
i... have no clue.
I've heard of BlankBloom...I've heard of SweetieBot...I have never heard of Scootaling...I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GETTING INTO.
ON TO THE STORY!
Kazi is not a good nickname, for a single very good reason: It's cockney slang for toilet.
You know what that is? Toilet Humour!
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7765622 ones a girl though.
If Kamikazi is supposed to be named for the Japanese phrase for suicide attacks, that's Kamikaze.
If she deliberately isn't to trigger pedants... well done.
Also, I noticed one instance of her being referred to as Kamizaki
7765622
While adventure time did have "The Lich" as a character, they aren't the first to use the creature "lich", a lich is just an undead creature that can use dark magic and never dies.
7765618 Yeah I still pop in my original Banjo tooie cart to get my collect em up fix. At least we have yooka laylee to look forward to, right?
7765743
Yeah Yooka Laylee seems really promising. I do hope it doesn't ended up like Mighty N°9 and also if like for Bloodstain: Ritual of the Night, the Wii U version might get changed to a Switch version due to it's date of release.
7765730 I think that's the Lich from D&D terms. I believe it came from the English Lic, which could refer to any dead body.
So now that Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom got to know more about themselves, Scootaloo is up next. I'm looking forward to this one. I want to see how the changelings and their queen in Scootaloo's hive will be like.
7765622 Not unique to Adventure Time
Though the one in Adventure Time was not so much an undead as... the idea of Extinction turned flesh?
So, think less the Lich from Adventure Time, and more Lord Voldemort.
Also, this chapter establishes, that Equestria has no vampires.
I can't wait to meet Scootaloo's family. I'm eager to see how peaceful changelings live.
I'd love to read more about Bear Bone and Kamikazi, they seem like great characters.
7765586
You mean "like a jiggy"?
7765622
You realize the concept of a lich has been around a lot longer than Pendleton Ward's been alive, right?
I can easily see lots of headache and numerous facehooves in the near future...
I'm looking at PhysicsInvers342's comments and holy crackers! I knew those two liches had something to do with Banjo and Kazooie, but I couldn't think of it on top of my head. I think there were hints on who the characters were supposed to represent:
Bear Bone:
-Brown, earth pony stallion.
-Has a "Bear" in his first name.
-Loves to collect things.
-Has a family that is in the honey business. Banjo likes honeycombs and gets health by collecting honeycombs.
Kamikazi:
-Is a red pegasus mare.
-Name rhymes with "Kazooie" and starts with "K."
-Is a deadpan snarker and mean towards people who are not friends with people she knows (like Daring Do).
-Makes bombs with various functions. This similar to the type of eggs Kazooie can fire in Banjo Tooie.
Together:
-Have been best friends ever since they met each other.
-Has gone through various adventures, explored new lands, picked up various objects for various purposes, doing incredibly difficult favors, and getting valuable paper scraps as rewards (like Cheato Pages). Saved the world once or twice.
-The chapter's name even hints who Bear Bones and Kamikazi are supposed to represent.
I may missed a couple of details, but this is what I have after re-reading various parts of the chapter.
I hope that Applebloom can use that earth dive ability more often, maybe she can combine it with her tear off limbs ability to make for some very scary pranks. Diamond Tirra will deserve it, well unless she gets turned into a monster at some point too. My money is on a siren. Or maybe a actually ghost.
The better question is, what forward-thinking kingdom doesn't? The first step to defeating your enemy is to understand them.
That "earth dive" ability of Applebloom's seems a bit like one of the things Anne Rice's vampires could do.
Or the Zerg.
7766065 With how she was always complaining about her siblings I doubt that.
7765801 as someone with a toy box access I can assure you: I would trust no one else more. The controls are flawless, the humor annoyingly amusing, the sounds quirky and enjoyable, the enemies dull but aggressive, the collectibles zany and challenging to get. As long as they nail game length and varied zones (I trust them 100% to deliver) like they did in BK, BT, and CBFD, it will be a success.
7766447 I mean Changelings who want to live in peace with the ponies as opposed to Chrysalis wanting to take over. Scootaloo not getting along with all her siblings is expected for me, I didn't always get along with my brother when we were growing up.
7765962 Hey there are multiple classes of ghouls. Who knows it might be that class V is closer to our idea of a vampire.
Wow, I read this right after buying the Rare Replay collection and trying out the Banjo Kazooie series...almost perfect timing.
Also gotta ask, is 'earth-diving' something you made up or an actual theorem to explain how zombies can just pop out of the ground wherever they choose?
I really liked this duo, but i'm frankly amazed they actually gave up their phylacteries willingly.
Granted, to Celestia whose near the poster-mare for 110% approval rating, but where're still taking about handing over the rocks with their souls inside them to somepony that for all they know could get twitchy with a holy hammer if they so sneeze wrong.
Personally? I would probably actually have gone with that turn yourself in plan, but I'd definitely would have stuck something that important inside a nondescript shack in Nowhere, The Sticks, population -2, first if you get my drift. Just in case.
loved them and by all accounts id so adventure with em
7767127
No, that's the last thing you want to do, because that guarantees some questing hero will come and destroy it. Case in point, Koschei the Deathless, who gets the prize for most well-protected phylactery.
7767258
The first and most important rule of a Phylactery isn't how sophisticated the hiding spot is, it's how you DON'T tell anyone what that hiding spot is, or WHAT the phylactery is.
First you get your needle, and then you hide it in a haystack. And then you realize that's silly because one is not like the other, so you hide the needle in a needle stack.
Then you realize that's silly too. Who keeps a needle stack laying around? So you give a seamstress a box of needles and hide the rest in the deep dungeon of darkness, filled with traps and guarded by the fiercest of creatures.
I bet you thought a needle was the phylactery there too...
Silly would-be heroes.
Don't give them ideas...
Careful, Applebloom. You are messing with a Changeling.
No cookies for me today...
7767300
Better, but it doesn't matter how well you hide your phylactery. Sooner or later, hidden things get messed with, purely because they're hidden and, in any setting where dark magic exists, fate likes to be a dick.
7767315
That's because people don't know how to make things that are hidden inherently.
There are three parts to correctly making and hiding phylactery.
1: Choose something common, but robust for your phylactery. A mundane granite stone with maybe a small, unassuming etching in it is a good place to start. Granite is plenty common, and rather tough.
2: Hide your mundane phylactery some place where its very existence would overlooked due to its mundacity. Toss your granite phylactery in a crevice in a mountain range. What's another granite rock amongst millions of granite rocks?
3: Misdirect any would-be heroes. "So, my highly priced gold plate, kept in the darkest stronghold with my most lethal traps is the source of my power. But you'll never get to it."
[A few years later]
"Haha! Villain! We lost a lot of good men getting your phylactery from that dungeon. But now your will pay!"
*CRUNCH!*
"... Wha-... You should be dead!"
*STAB*
"Stupid hero. Do you REALLY think I would be so dumb as to tell you EXACTLY how to kill me? Seriously, what better way to wipe out your party than to trick you into willingly walking into a meat grinder?"
"You-*COUGH*-What?"
"Yes. The gold plate phylactery was a fake. The whole point of the dungeon was for you idiots to willingly go into highly lethal deathtraps. Who needs a legion of darkness when you so readily walk into killboxes? Now... Goodbye, Mr. Hero."
7767340
True, but, as I've been forgetting to just come out and say, fantasy settings have narrativium.
If you get someone who is that savvy, either fate will dick them over in the most ironic way possible (eg. random rockfall sends a boulder to crushe their granite phylactery via the magic of F=MA and PSI) or they won't be sufficiently villainous to count.
I've just come to see it as "Much as magic encourages cognitive evolution in lifeforms to happen in a parallel fashion (I assume, there's some kind of reciprocity going there), it also encourages and discourages certain behaviour patterns among those with power." (Why else would it be so different from the real world, where sapience is clearly not a particularly advantageous trait until after a lucky chance has brought it to a certain point in development. A literal handful of species out of ~8.7 million (current estimate) on planet Earth and only one having developed a major society says a lot about the desirability of sapience without magic to put its thumb on the scale.)
7767377
No, stories have narrative causality, not fantasy worlds alone. And by the power of narrative causality, a rock fall destroying a phylactery would never happen, because that wouldn't be dramatic. Rather, a series of extremely unlikely events would conspire to put the phylactery in the hands of an archeologist who would notice the minor scratching on one side.
I could go on and on about the Narrative, but in the long and short of things: If you want to start arguing that Narrative Causality is active and working against me, then no amount of contingency will protect me in the end. That is literally a no-limits fallacy and not worth arguing over.
7767597
Point, but fantasy worlds don't exist outside stories, so one could defensibly argue that, in all contexts which matter, fantasy worlds take a "dramatic or dickish" approach to dealing with evil, simply because of the simplified morality that seems to be selected for by the fantasy market.
Who knows how many phylacteries got crushes by falling rocks simply to keep their owners from "interfering with the story".
7767623
Or do they?
7767641
It took me over an hour to realize which statement you were saying "Or do they?" to.
So that is how the undead escape from their graves.
Can't blame ya.
Wanna elaborate?
That's, less reassuring than you think.
She makes a valid point, crazy does not equal stupid.
So, would it be fair to say it vanishes, lichety split?
Interesting...
So, does that make Voldemort technically a lich?
Good to see you being reasonable.
Fair enough.
You too?
Good to know.
Oh I LIKE her.
Don't tell Rainbow that.
I suppose that's fair.
Meaning, she's hard to kill?
Ah, fair enough.
Whoa there, I think you're getting ahead of yourself.
I've heard of giving head, but this is ridiculous!
How very, very interesting.
Curses. Or at least if they use dark magic in the process
My reaction exactly.
This is absolutely fascinating. Also, you forgot a quotation mark at the beginning of the sentence and the t ater though.
Heh, I probably wouldn't be able to resist otherwise if I was in your position. Also, startED laughing.
Just don't get cocky.
GOOD. As fun as those 3 are, they NEED a level head to keep them from being too dumb.
She's right, to quote Demoman from TF2: "One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablooie!"
PasT everypony's craziness.
That should be fun.
Sure, Jesus can walk on water, but Apple Bloom can swim on land!
7767377
Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality put one of his horcruxes on one of the Voyager space probes. Makes it rather difficult for an aspiring young wizard to destroy all of his soul-bits.
Of course, he was eventually dismembered, obliviated, and transmuted into a ring, but he didn't actually die (later had his soul transferred into a mandrake root, stored in a box that can't be unlocked in a room that doesn't exist in a building inside the Mirror of Erised), so... victory?
7769565
That's actually one of the things I was thinking about. It latches firmly onto the contemporary aspect of HP's "contemporary fantasy" genre and that's what allows Voldemort to get away with being savvy so effortlessly.
That said, I really need to get back to it and finish it now that I'm not so pressed for time with my final year of university.