• Member Since 29th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen January 24th

Pale Horse


"If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing." – Benjamin Franklin

T
Source

After unusual circumstances leave them forever changed, the Cutie Mark Crusaders embark on one final adventure to regain what they've lost.

Gore tag is chiefly due to Zombie Apple Bloom being kind of icky and zombie-ish. Read at your own discretion.

Written (partly) for Equestria Daily's Friend Off Event. Based upon the artwork of Balooga.

Even if you are lost in the dark, all you need is a single light to find your way home.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 40 )

FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS!

By the blood on Luna's horn, Pale Horse, this was... disturbing. Dark, indeed. Painful, frightening... and beautiful.

Balancing humor and horror is a tricky business, and you made it even harder with your (excellent) movie references and other shout-outs to other worlds and ideas. Yet it all worked, right down to the very last word.

Thanks for this little bit of magic.

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

One day I will actually go and play Story of the Blanks.
Ooooone day!

And I still don't know what Scootaling is from!

But... One out of three ain't bad, right?

Honestly, considering I know very little of the source material, it was surprisingly good!
It's very... morose. But despite that, it isn't actually massively depressing or dreary or dull or any other 'D' word! That's not exactly easy to pull off. The friendshippiness was good, and there was a real feeling of easy comradery between the three, even with the doomy subject matter. I would credit that to a lack of overt attempts to viciously yank at the reader's heartstrings. It's more... subtle. The situation is grim, the conversation is very much about death, but the characters don't spend the whole time in wailing and lamentation and endless variations of 'Woe is me!'.

I guess that's the sort of thing that separates the men from the boys, writing wise. :rainbowkiss:
Yes, it was fitting to top of that line about manliness with a colourful cartoon pony for little girls.

The story's still the weirdest premise ever, though.

But now I want to know HOW they got to that point of their lives. Damn wanting to know things so much.

5607265
[youtube=YMO4AWxhSRw]

5607750 Damn, right in the feels. I need to think for a long, long time.

Read this while listening to this [EDM]:

Well written and an interesting story, but I can't help but feel there is some part of the set up I am missing here. And then I read the related blog post.

That explains why the CMC were zombies, changelings and robots.

When you put another feels picture at the end, it implies that the plan failed.
Nevertheless, it was a great exercise in rapid-fire emotion during a climax.
+1 Like
+1 Favorite
+1 Cookie /) (::)
+9999 Wubs <3

Please let there be a sequel! I want to know if the element spell was successful! Also, how did Apple Bloom become a zombie, Sweetie Belle a robot and Scootaloo a changeling!

This was one of the most disturbing CMC fic I've read in recent years, but was quite beautiful as well.:applecry::unsuresweetie::scootangel:

Aw. I have a similar story being edited right now. Guess you beat me to the punch. That, and mine's less about the feels and more slice of life. Still, I really like where you went with the idea of the whole CMC being something else than ponies. Well done.

5607265

Scootaling is from, well...either the story Scootaling, or the story Quorom Sensing. It's because she and Pinkie PIe have the least background out of all the characters. (And Pinkie has Maud)

...Okay, I'm gonna go against the rest. A sequel would damage the fic, as it works far too well as a one-shot.

And then it fuses them?

:pinkiecrazy:

But yeah, I agree with MitchellTF, this works fine as a one-shot.

This is amazing. Great job.

disturrrrbing:pinkiesad2:
But it was kind of heartwarming too

So sad yet so good

5609111
I agree. If it were made to sequel, it would just ruin it.

5614174

Prequels are just fine. (ANd I liked the deconstruction of Sweetie Bot.)

Probability of successful transformation is approximately three thousand seven hundred and twenty to one,” Sweetie Belle said.

media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/4e/80/83/4e8083c1b8257440eab19776382cba8e.jpg

I don't think I've read a fanfic before where Sweetie Belle becomes a robot.

It's a thought, at least.

5607265 5609094
Actually, I believe that the origin of Scootaling was in fact thisisbalooga, the same artist who's followup works feature so heavily in this story. Here is the image in question:
40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m41p3evH7G1r9ujgxo1_1280.jpg

5608783
It appears that I am already following you, so I'll keep an eye out for when it is done.

5609111 5614174
Oh, I don't know... Set it forward 5 to 10 years, defragment Sweetie Bot's head, let Apple Blank heal herself by eating sashimi (not to be confused with sushi, which may or may not actually contain fish), and let Scootaling live off of freely offered Love as opposed to the strip mining method that Queen Cheese Legs prefers. There really are quite a few places one can go with this concept.

5783372


I didn't say it couldn't lead toa good fic. But, this fic BY ITSELF works quite well. And the ending would feel...diminished if something was added on.

I'm trying not to cry...but I'm failing....BAD. This was truly a tear jerker. :fluttercry:

I hate to tell you this, but... The pictures, whatever they are, are gone.
Other than that, great story!

7575745
I've been meaning to fix those for a while, but when I went to check on them, they were working again. Are they still showing up as broken for you?

7787827
I just checked again, and yeah, the pictures are still broken.

7788000
Very well. I've gone through and re-uploaded them to a different image host, so they should work now.

0px x 0px
:thinking:

I... I honestly can't cry from this. Not because it wasn't heartbreaking, and certainly not because of poor wroting. Oh no, this was a beautiful torture. I just... I have this idea in my mind, and it links up with the story Undead Robot Bug Crusaders, but it would be those three poor fillies dealing with their changes.

I mean, don't get me wrong. The optimist in me wants them to be cured from their respective changes. But a part of me wants to see what would happen if all the Elements of Harmony did was make them capable of living amongst ponies? Make Apple Bloom not hunger, make Scootaloo not need love, and make Sweetie Belle stop glitching sporadically.

But until one of us writes such a thing... I guess leaving this on a cliffhanger is the best thing to do.

The pictures in the story are broken, I'm afraid.

i take it this is a slightly less cute version of undead bug robot cursaders

8818584
Aren´t we all ?

.......
yeah ok, i liked this. i liked the ending being what we wish

Apple Bloom couldn't even remember the last time she'd cried. It had been so long ago, before all of this happened. Before she went into the Everfree with Twilight. Before she met Ruby. Before Sunny Town.

*receives flash backs to ‘nam* oh ****

“Applejack is a decorated sniper and would be able to terminate you most efficiently,” Sweetie Belle interjected. “Boom, headshot.”

Twilight’s sniper, Applejack’s engineer *gun cocks* and you don’t have enough gun!

The feel train ran me over, and it made a big impact!

Scootaloo sighed, causing her wings to reflexively flutter once more. “I guess a slim chance is better than none,” she said. “Let's do it, then. I'm tired of standing around talking about it.”

Instead we're here, standing around talking

Good day to die, too, she supposed.

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