• Member Since 30th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen May 20th, 2023

Pale Horse

"If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing." – Benjamin Franklin


While sharing an intimate moment, Celestia and Twilight Sparkle have a little chat.

Cover art swiped from Longinius.

Dramatic reading by Monanniverse.

French translation courtesy of inglobwetrust.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 95 )

Petite Mort....that...that so fits this story. To use any other term would have seemed crass. I still giggled when I read it though...

that was masterfully done. Truly a masterpeice. to call it anything esle is belittling

Well written story to say the least.

Now that was a great story. Since I can't upvote seventy times, have a bajillion internet cookies. You deserve them.

Sweet, very sweet.

Beautiful. Just beautiful. This is my new favorite oneshot.

That is a sweet little tale. Good job.

Th-The... feels... :fluttercry:

Petite mort, little death, rather appropriate considering she forgot to breathe for a bit there. I have heard this term before, kind of too poetic for my tastes but in this story, it works. Also, Twilight has been on fire before, she should know how that feels. And eletricity feeling nice? maybe in small ammounts. Ever been shocked by the mains? Ain't pleasant I'll tell you that much.

This was nauseatingly romantic.

I guess it was good. Not exactly ground breaking stuff here but that's probably not the point.

Also happy birthday authors special somepony.

That was so sappy and cute and ohhh, so much sweetness. Man I'll have to lay off sweets for a couple of days after that. I loved it!

This was honestly a very pretty story. I've never been a huge fan of Twilestia, but now I think I want to look into the pairing more. You did an excellent job with keeping it in the teen catagory without making it... well, y'know :twilightblush:

It was heart throbbingly adorable. Hell it almost made me cry. ...almost...

Using my weaknesses against me, such cruelty.

It was a lovely present, thank you. :heart:

Honestly, it was a very apt picture of why I love Twilestia. Grappling with the image of perfection, on one side, as that opening—which was pretty much the best thing ever—outlined so beautifully (and adorably). And a struggle for normalcy and intimacy on the other. Plus, hey, I love romances where both parties genuinely admire one another, and Twilestia, and this story, has that in spades.

And even better, I get to see you rocket up the Feature Box again, and see you get the validation of your extreme awesomeness as a writer. That's awesome too, as a gift. :rainbowkiss:

Well done even if I don't like this pairing at all, this was still very enjoyable, if a little cliche.:twilightsmile:

I'm... Very sure I've never read any TwiLestia story as romantic or sensual as this. Very well done!

This was beautifully written and executed with a grace and vigour of an excellent author. While the idea itself spoken of within the story is not entirely original, you really make it your own with some excellent characterization.

Well done. You deserve all the praise you get.

Very well done. I really appreciate the attention to characterization and showing Celestia as a kind and caring pony. I will say that the references in the story kinda jangled as I was reading through it, but they didn't pull me out of the story for very long.

I won't call this cliched, even though it does follow a certain formula, it does so very well, and shows why cliches become such. They work when done well, but most authors don't understand what makes them work well, and thus shoehorn it in without thinking about the why and the how.

Thank you for showing how to do so properly.

This is going on my favorites list faster that you can say sunny D...witch is what I thought when she said Celestia tasted like the sun.

Can I commission you? I am totally commissioning you. This was fantastic, and would LOVE your skill at writing to help me out with something....

It's good, I suppose, but somehow I expected something... more. Guess I'm just not much of a Twilestia shipper. :applejackunsure:

So adorable! Have a fav and follow! :rainbowkiss:

Very sweet, very insightful, and very well written.

Not often fics which bring these two together actually feel like they've kept Twilight and Celestia in character. You've pulled it off, though, likely because no matter the level of intimacy involved, the dynamic of their relationship was still there as an undercurrent - Celestia imparting wisdom upon Twilight. Or even helping Twilight realise something she already knew.


CELESTIA DAMN IT PALE YOU DID IT AGAIN! Stop playing with the feels pale the feels is too real. In all seriousness though I'm torn. Its a good story and great work like usual but I don't know whats my favorite this or Destination Unknown. :'(

5050416 DAMMIT YOU BEAT ME TO IT! :flutterrage:

This was very nicely done.

What was that, Librarian Sparkle?

I snortled. :rainbowlaugh:

Otherwise, this was very pretty, and I especially liked the characterization of Celestia here. :pinkiehappy:


Now that we've established that.... Wow. There are no words besides two.


Heya Wadey. It was Lumie's birthday present. :rainbowkiss:

Apparently Pale noticed my adoration of Celestia romance.
Can't imagine how. I hide it so well.

Hey, wanna make out?

Get out of my vagina, Celestia.

Fine. *crawls out*


Happy birthday, broheim!

What can I say? Short, simple, sweet.

Very good. Very good indeed. I really enjoyed this little talk.

Not as much as Twi, of course, but close.

“Dear Princess Celestia...” Twilight murmured, lifting her forelegs to slip them around the other mare's neck, “... shut up and kiss me.”

D'awwww. :heart: -- Not just to that, the whole thing. It was very cute and romantic.

This might just be the most adorable, caring, romantic shipfic I've ever read. Props to you, sir or madam.

I lol'd when I read that.

Damn that was good! :raritywink:

Niiiiice. Very nice.

Wow. Now that's one hell of an afterglow. Also, bonus points for use of the word "tyrian".

Dat sensual prose.

Beautiful! Just beautiful! I love it! :yay:

Tagged sex and not rated mature. What?

5055103 There is this magical thing you can do that writers often utilize. They can make it so two characters can have sex in a story, and have it not be mature. If They were going all out with the descriptions then yea it would be mature but they weren't.

It was quite obvious they were having sex, but sex is not an inherently BAD thing. This was more like the "Tasteful Nude" of writing. Yes, the picture may depict a naked woman, but it's not overtly sexual. At the end of the day, it really is up to the staff as to whether this is deemed mature or not, and as I am reading it and it's on the front page... I think the mods are ok with it.

5055154 Wasn't really thinking of the mods anyway.

5055154 Most 'Young Adult' fiction sections are full of these. :twilightblush: However, it tends to be more tasteful like this, utilized only to build emotional attachment and the readers' investment in the characters. *nods sagely, dons spectacles* :moustache:

5056298 Well those of FiMFiction are hardly EVER professional Young Adult writers so I give leeway. This is very good and a wonderful point made

Login or register to comment