• Member Since 24th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 17 hours ago


I'm Jordan Kinsley, and I'm a relentless shipper. Send me a PM or leave a comment about my stories, I love getting feedback. Patreon!



Hearts and Hooves Day fast approaches. For Twilight, her friends are shocked to learn she's never had a date. For Celestia, Luna reminds her that she's not had a date in, well, a time period she would rather not get in to. Luna conspires to push the two princesses together. Will a so-called "practice date" turn into something more?

Now with a sneaky little interquel in the form of Celestia Wants To Do Naughty Things To Twilight Sparkle. A mature treat for those who like that!

Took second place in the Fifth Bimonthly Twilestia Contest.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 196 )

If there's more coming soon then... why is this tagged as Complete?

Because I don't pay attention, that's why. For several hours, my previous fic, Canterlot's Guests, had all of the text centered because of a derp with the tag at the top.

How old is Celestia again?

In "Minding the Gap," her age was about ten million sunrises.

4842240 27,397 years old and counting :)

Hmm, interested. More Twilestia is always good. Hoping for lots of cuddles with this one.

Since this has Luna as matchmaker, depending on how she will continue, have you considered entering it into the Twilestia contest already?

It's funny how Luna doesn't know how to act like an adult

Oh boy, Twilight is going to panic so hard.:twilightsheepish:

4843047 You'd have a good chance of winning, too. This is looking good so far.

I have no solid idea on Celestia's age, but I figure at least a few thousand years. If we had an actual timeline on when the first Hearth's Warming was, we could get an actual age.

Luna's going to be pretty involved in this, yes, so I entered the contest. Worst case, a few extra ponies have to look it over. :twilightsheepish:

And to think, this is only the beginning. She gets worse/better.

4844037 I have just started getting proofreading experience, but if no one more qualified volunteers, I could probably sorta help.

Can't wait to read more! :heart:

Will a so-called "practice date" turn into something more?

No, I don't really think so, because the author is of course not uninspired enough to write yet another Twilestia shipfic, right?

I don't know why, but now I can't get the picture of Twilight laying on a giant cake when Celestia walks in out of my head. And that wasn't even in here!

Good, wait no longer! There's more!

Not to spoil, but the title isn't exactly subversive. And some questions are rhetorical, and there can never be enough Twilestia.

And I will totally not be using that for some imagined fantasy of Celestia's later.

I can see it now...

Princess Cadence: You're dating a 16 year old?!

Princess Celestia: She's seventeen!

Cadence: You got out of college what, 1300 years ago?

Princess Celestia: I'm 23,000 years old!

"With the uniform and everything."

Ummm. I don't like it or hate it. The reason being it's to weird. But I'm still following it just in case it gets really good.:derpytongue2:


Wait, Celestia still has imagination? She's still mildly sane? My whole picture of her is wrong!

4846182 Because of course every story within a genre has to follow the same plotline, style and diction, and therefore cannot be anything other than uninspired. After all, because Paradise Lost and Dante's Inferno are both religious epics attempting to explain the workings of heaven, clearly they're also both derivative drivel with no differences between them.

Twilestia intensifies.

At the risk of nitpicking, why is Cadance in Canterlot? Shouldn't she be in the Crystal Empire? You know, ruling it?

Liking it so far. I could go into details, but I'll reserve my judgment for a while.

Do you plan on finishing this before the contest is over, though? Not really sure how long this story could potentially go or when it will be finished, at the moment. (I noticed that another story of yours took about 3 years to finish, lol)

the perfect date...THE MOON!


I am sick and tired of all those damned mystery novels where someone dies. I mean, how cliche can you get? Surely that genre was done by, oh, the early bit of Agatha Christie's career.

“She said yes! She said yes!” Celestia continued to prance around the room, full of laughter. “Now I just need to find a place to go! Things to do!” She suddenly stopped. “I haven’t the faintest idea of where to start. What do ponies do when they go on dates now? What do they wear? Oh, pony feathers.”

Hehe. Twi and Tia fit together so well.

All I can say is that it is weird about this story is that apparently ponies know every other pony's preferences. Luna is like I know you are lesbian Celestia and we know Twilight is a lesbian, so maybe you should be lesbians together. It's like would Twilight ever spill the beans about her preferences, when she always had her nose in her books? I mean unless Luna is peeking into dreams... :facehoof:

:raritywink: We have to get it to fit your figure.
:twilightangry2: What? Are you calling me...
:duck: Wings, darling, Wings.
:twilightsheepish: Oh, thought I was going to have to smack a hoe.
:raritycry: She called me a hoe.
:rainbowlaugh: :pinkiegasp::fluttershysad:
:ajsmug: Well Rarity...


Teleport capable alicorn who may have been called for her love expertise.

That's... pretty loose. Not very realistic at all. And, even if it were true, the author should probably denote it as truth, and write it into the story. Simply expecting us to suddenly believe that Cadance is capable of long-range teleportation to the level of possibly hundreds of miles is a bit ridiculous.

4848527 Fixed teleportation perhaps? Uses a pre-charged magical power source, like a rune, and several circles with runes that allow for teleporting in smallish jumps without using too much energy.


No, I don't really think so, because the author is of course not uninspired enough to write yet another Twilestia shipfic, right?

Not sure if this is joking sarcasm or just plain bitching about Twilestia shipfics. If it is the latter, why are you even reading this story? The title is hardly subtle.

4847521 Can that be a phrase?

(Ship here) intensifies?

Excellent story so far, I can't wait for more.
And I really hope Princesses Luna and Princesses Cadence will be shadowing them on their date :rainbowlaugh:

i like this story hope to read more soon:twilightsmile:

Hahaha, both Twiluna and Twilestia got featured. :rainbowlaugh: Which one will end more views, favs and upvotes?

Reads anyway.

Again, if something like that were the case, I'd deem it worthy of mentioning in the story.

Well, Rarity seems to be the most interested in Luna in my opinion, Rainbow is most likely going to be with Big Mac or Braeburn, and Fluttershy with Pinkie because they both have pink. Applejack doesn't have any pony yet because she wants a stallion. If you pull Lunashy, though, then it's going to be Rarijack and Rainbow Mac. So, yeah. ...I think I just wrote a paragraph about potential ships.

Rariluna, Rariluna and Rariluna! Other than Twilestia, that are the three ships in here that count!
If there is a followup story with that... :yay:

Luna Rarity, Rainbow and Mac, and I can't guess the third.

luna rarity, pinky shy, and apple dash

I'm gonna say Rarity and Applejack, just for the heck of it. Its obvious from Rarity's words that there is physical attraction there at least. I don't know about Rainbow and Mac. Seems the most obvious, but if she has dated Sweet Apple Acres stallions before, it would be strange if she hasn't dated Mac yet. Still, I can't really see Braeburn myself. However, I note it says "some connection to Sweet Apple Acres." That doesn't have to imply the stallion in question being an Apple, so I'm gonna say Rainbow and Caramel instead. And to go completely bonkers, lets say Pinkie and Luna for the last one :D

I suspect LunaPie might be necessary to counter act the utter sanity of Twilestia. Just as Discord balances against the Tree/Elements. On the other hand, I shudder to think what Pinkie might do with such close access to the Royal Kitchens and their cavernous supply pantry.

Go ahead Twi, set Rarity up with Luna... Celestia would get a kick out of it.

Double dates are double the trouble.

*Finishes reading chapter 2*
Well this is freaking adorable!
Now let's check-
*Email! Chapter 3 is out!*

Probably Rariluna, but I have hope for Pairity :raritystarry::pinkiehappy: (I'll admit to liking that ship primarily for the name :derpytongue2: )
so my guesses are as follows:
If Rariluna then ShyPie :pinkiesmile::yay:
If Pairity then FlutterLuna :fluttercry: (Crying because no Luna emote)
If MoonPie the Flairity :yay::duck:
Third ship in all instances is Appledash :ajbemused::rainbowkiss:


Rarity & Applejack
Pinkie & Fluttershy
Luna & Derpy

Rarity x Luna, Big Mc x RD and AJ x FS. That are my predictions since Twi x Celestia is all ready given ;) Oh and lovely Story this far can't wait to read more of it.

Login or register to comment