• Member Since 24th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

JKinsley


I'm Jordan Kinsley, and I'm a relentless shipper. Send me a PM or leave a comment about my stories, I love getting feedback. Patreon!

Comments ( 21 )

Not bad, I like it!

Are they going to have baby?:rainbowkiss:

Thank you for taking the time to probe into Twilight's enthusiastic consent! So many Twilestia fics portray either an overtly or potentially abusive power dynamic and fail to develop Twilight's autonomy in light of Celestia's near eternal stature.

Sexy but loving as well.

7998667
Thank you!

7998717
They might adopt much further down the line. But not as a result of what they just did :raritywink:

7998999
I'm glad you enjoyed that part! I know what you mean with other fics having that power imbalance. I find that their relationship is at its best when Celestia makes Twilight to take power for herself, in a way. Making Twilight feel like and really internalize that she's an equal in the relationship.

7999018
You and your memes.

7999467
That was the goal! :twilightsmile:

I absolutely loved it

7999949 no problem, kind of wish there was more though!

Seriously, this is as vanilla as lesbian pony sex gets. Just hooves and tongues, folks. Nothing special.
Personally, considering what I normally find, I consider this very refreshing and the second biggest attractive for me in this.

Sums it up pretty much.

Oh damn. The tenderness. The warmth.

8000475
I'm glad!

8001071
I'm curious as to what qualifies as the biggest attractive thing in the story. But I'm glad you enjoyed it! It was different trying to keep things simple in that respect, because I find it easier to write more... exciting? things.

8001541
A general summary of much of their "dialogue"

8003422
Sometimes, two mommies love each very much, but like two flowers, they can't make little ones.

8005347
Again, that was the goal!

8005470 Twilestia, of course. :pinkiehappy:

Wew lad, here we go. Sorry this took a while to get to.

Here are my notes and review.

Hook & Presentation
Apologies for “vanilla” lesbian horse sex...wtf? The description is “exactly what is says on the tin” levels of blunt. Given that this is a clopfic, that’s probably for the best, but it kind of kills the hook part. Still, it is serviceable and lets you know what to expect without giving it all away.


Technical
After the editing and proofreading pass, this has nothing that will jump out and slap you out of the story. However, there is a lot of POV shifting and with the slow pacing it can sometimes catch you by surprise and confuse who is licking whose winking horse clit.


Pacing & Style
A little quick at the start. The story wastes zero time getting to the point, but that can be slightly excused as it IS part of a larger story line/verse. Once the actual action starts up the pace slams on the breaks for a slow burn type of feel. It works thanks to the focus on the emotions of Celestia and Twilight, rather than explicit clop material.


Overall
This is an above average entry in the clop section of the Twilestia ship. It avoids a lot of the blushing virgin tropes while still managing to convey two characters that are by no means practiced at the sex. While the action lacks the electricity of a good lovemaking session, it instead has the sweet tenderness of lovers getting to know their partners, which is something of a rarity in the clop on this site.

This, plus your scores can be found on the contest thread here.

How did I miss this? Added to read later.

She kissed her way back up Twilight’s back before nipping just below her hairline. She whispered, “You can tell me if we’re moving too fast or you feel uncomfortable, you know. One word, and we can stop.”

“Keep... keep going,” Twilight replied breathlessly.

I loved this scene!

On of the best and most sensual clops I've read. I loved the approach, and what Princess Celestia said to Twilight in the end. Very nice ❤️

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