• Member Since 24th Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Mitch H

“What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.” ― William Lamb Melbourne



Gilda only wanted the humble things in life. Cheap rent, copious bits, the respect of her peers, the occasional juicy field-mouse.

Being captured by the Equestrians and dragooned into the Territorials wasn't quite what she'd dreamed of, but at least the rent was free.

And the rats were nice and plump.

Chapters (36)
Comments ( 1004 )

It was a Griffonstonian tradition to present the fledgeling with that brutal bill as they left the nest, and a secondary tradition for the fledgeling to decamp in the dead of night so as to skip out on the bill.

I so love this idea.

Well now. You most certainly have my interest. Looking forward to more.

I see I'm not the only one who figured after "The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone" that griffons are to money and capitalism like unicorns are to magic and pegasi are to flight. :rainbowlaugh: Actually, I've been waiting to see someone really explore that very idea in some genuine depth, so this fic's got that going for it, first of all. So I guess I'll follow for now. :twilightsmile:

I see Mitch H, I like and favorite. Still want to see more of Those Who Ride, though :rainbowwild:

Wait, a PURPLE Gleaming Shield? BLASPHEMY!!!!! :flutterrage:
The Swagger Stick made me loose it, though. And then everything went hilariously downhill :rainbowlaugh:

9218576 From what we've seen of Equestria's economy, the ponies are quite capitalistic as well. Most of them just aren't as greedy. Most of them.

The griffons seem to be greedy and lazy. They want bits, but don't appear motivated to do much work toward acquiring them.

I suspect they'd love a totalitarian welfare state. :trollestia:

"Your worship," said Gilda the Griffon, "I will never yield a bit, so if you were wise, you wouldn't buy my bonds. But I'll shine your shoes with my tongue if there's food in it for me."

I like the dialogue style of realistic, but every once in a while a quote so poetic that it makes the whole thing seem apocryphal

There's practicing capitalism...and then there's making your every breathing moment of life all about capitalism and nothing but capitalism as you work to exploit capitalism to every farthest extent possible that you can regardless of whether or not it's fair, just so long as you're the one who's got the more bits in the end. Big difference between the two. The griffons here would fall into the latter. :raritywink:

I think there's lots more to the "lack of motivation" problem than just "they're lazy." Though it's probably a factor at some level in their society. Personally, I'd guess governmental. That's definitely the case here in this fanfic, at least.

Anyway, the totalitarian welfare state idea probably wouldn't fly with them, seeing it'd take the control of the money out of the claws of the average citizen and more into the claws of whatever schmuck who's presently serving as the totalitarian. In other words, out of the claws of the many and into the claws of the one. And as griffons prefer to share the wealth, as the show itself stated...I somehow think that arrangement wouldn't last long. Probably be fun to watch it self-destruct, though. :rainbowlaugh:

Is...is this a Good Soldier Švejk crossover?


Not... precisely. Any more than it's a Blackadder Goes Forth pastiche. Or Gilda Pyle, EGTC for that matter. It's a service comedy, with elements of all of the above.

But I will cop to making the Svejk reference. :twilightsmile:

Certainly looking forward to whatever you have coming next

Unfortunately, her new compatriots proved to be a pack of imbeciles

Oh, yeah. I've been there :)

9218839 Ah, but you see... they'd be using all the ponies' money! The griffins are poor, and live in a run-down garbage heap (still better than Detroit) so they'd get all the money taxed from the rich nobles and businessponies! And they'd never have to work a day in their lives!

So the griffon's would be perfectly ok with it.

Of course, eventually they'd run out of other ponies' money... :raritywink:

Also, I'm a different sort of greedy capitalist. Except I don't trade in money. I trade in life. And soon I shall soon liquidate my gains of life... FROM THIS ENTIRE PLANET!! (Alondro fancies himself a life-devouring creature he calls 'Galacticus'... which he totally did not base on a Marvel character.. not at all...) :trixieshiftright:

I'm intrigued by this universe. I assume that either Celestia was killed in the mentioned attack or something happened so Twilight wouldn't be her student, so she ended up joining the army like her brother.
Or not 🤷

Gilda should have dug an escape tunnel. No one would have seen that coming.


And then there's Hogan's Heroes, which we were arguing about the other night on Discord, which WWII Heroes comedy was superior, Hogan's or Kelly's? :pinkiecrazy:

Haaaaa... tragic. I suppose soon we’ll find out exactly how much of a war story this really is.

I prefer Hogan’s myself. Though I admit my interaction with either was limited to only a few episodes.

All the work reminded Gilda of how her mother had made her take care of her crippled old grandfather in his last days after that assassin had missed her stroke.

It's the casual nature of this sentence that really makes it shine.

"Treebilly" is a brilliant construction.

Oh. Oh. Yeah, I'm with the Corporal. Do not taunt Happy Fun Pony, Gilda. Not if you like staying in one piece.

That saintly princess’s benediction upon a fallen griffish world, the light that lit up the filth and squalor.

I have a thing for continuities where the Equestrians and the princesses, in particular, are viewed almost with awe (begrudgingly or otherwise), whether that’s the reality of the situation or not. There’s just something about it I really like.

My sentiments, exactly!

I can see the unfortunate implications that come with shining armor’s death, when he died so did “twilight sparkle” and when she died so did the hope of harmony, and without the hope of harmony the stars will aid in her escape, and the sun will never rise again.


Eh, maybe. Harmony finds a way, and there's always another.

I'm sure Celestia found a student, somewhere.



Yeah, we're doomed.

Indeed. In Equestria, it’s “next man pony up.”

So that I'm clear--the Griffish Isles are under Equestrian occupation, but Griffonstone itself is still independent, just no more a friend of Equestria's than the isles currently.

Just trying to make sure my mental picture of the politics is all accurate, see. :twilightsmile:

What you're describing is more what various European countries (and Canada to an extent, I guess) have been toying with lately. I had taken "totalitarian welfare state" to be more equivalent to Stalin-era Soviet Union, when the shortcomings of communism showed itself at its absolute worst.

But then, this fic probably didn't help with that, as the setting of Griffonstone very much reminds me of the last days of imperial Russia right before the Soviets took over, so I had Russia on the brain already. :twilightsheepish:

I'm with Gilda on this - down with the Imperialist Ponies! (but if there's food, I'm totally in).

That cover art..... Why does it instantly make me think of Edmund Blackadder and Baldrick? O.o;;

And why does that make me want to read this even more? xD


Edit: Fixed some spelling and added comparison pictures just for lulz XD


Deliberate art choice, of course. And they look like that because that's what ChristheBlue used as prompt. We did a lot of mulling over how to adapt British Great War field uniforms to the characters.

Well it looks amazing to say the least XD

And to anyone that's seen that particular season of Blackadder the cover picture quite literally screams ''Dark British comedy at it's finest right here! Just sign your name on this paper please.'' xD

I'm gonna go start reading this now XD And if you've managed to put any of that British humor into this story I'll probably die from laughter xD

This.... This is REALLY good! if a bit short XD Looking forward to more though! :3

Never in this, has it said how long ago this was.

Never in this, has it said if the ensign wasn't something more many a time ago.

Never in this, has it said if there hasn't been others 'assigned, and lost' particulars.

Still, this style suits you and your way of writing very well. And in a vein that you do very very well.

Hard to tell if Gleaming is warming to her pet or if she is simply more pragmatic when it comes to training.

The lack of a romance tag is a sad thing in this case; no Gilda, Twilight snuggles :P

More seriously this is rather well written and quite amusing.

Wanderer D

9222290 That's the exact thing I said to Mitch! :rainbowlaugh:

Still, keep it up! This is awesome!

How dare she call Gilda second-hoof! She still has all of her original equipment, even if no longer in mint condition.

9222290 9222312
There is no proof that there will be no Gilda, Twilight snuggles. Just no romantic ones.

All of you Some of you At least one of you should know by now that I’ll take whatever I can get.

You know, this story really is a fun read, with it's constant world-building told through the aimless and bias viewpoint of one embittered and naive Gilda who has her bar for life set low and doesn't mind that much, yet it also blurs over what feels like could be key details, leaving large gaps unfilled in the puzzle the story's slowly piecing together, which is both mildly frustrating and very intriguing as it leaves you longing for more either way--usually not a bad thing.

But I'm at a loss still as to just where the story intends to go. It feels too focused to be mere open-ended slice-of-life, yet also too aimless for me to yet be sure of any idea of what it's just building up to, if anything. I assume it is, though. It feels like it is. At this point though, it feels to me like it could be anything...which isn't necessarily a bad thing, of course, it's just starting to feel like the story's just...drifting, hoping it'll eventually have the blind luck to hit upon a strong plot point sometime farther down the line.

I'm sure that's not actually the case and that the author has a game plan already well established that will come to light when he's ready--everything's too thought out for that to not be the case--but it'd be nice to have at least some hint of what the story's eventual endgame is and where it plans to take all of this, no matter how small. I had thought I'd have found it by now, but I am surprised and maybe a bit troubled that I haven't yet...maybe it's just me. :applejackunsure:

Whatever the case and in spite of all that, the story still manages to entertain, and maybe for now that's all it really needs to do. :twilightsmile:

Oh! I know where this could lead: A war with the Storm King army!

Trixie, superstar of the USO (pony equivalent), friend to every soldier but actually friendless, until one fateful day... I haven't even read the story but I can see it clear as day.

I do like the corporal's belligerent protectiveness.

I'm not sure if Satyricon is a place or an event. Or possibly one in the other

You are valuable battalion equipment, and it is expected that you will take proper care of the equipment issued to you in the course of your service.

I think that's the nicest thing Gleaming's ever said to Gilda.

As others have said, no idea where you're going from here, but it's a most engrossing journey thus far. Looking forward to more.

”Yourself, Gilda. You are valuable battalion equipment,”

“Did ya hear that, sarge? Someone thinks I’m valuable!”

“Well, at least that makes two of you.”

Huh.... What WOULD it mean if Twilight somehow managed to become an alicorn in this story-verse? O.o

Also: Nice chapter XD Loving how you've written it all xD Looking forward to more ^^

Wanderer D

BS. Rarity would never sting her clientelle! that wouldn't reflect well on her professional qualities as a seamstress. On the other claw... Rarity! :yay:

So she's there, in madness mode. and of all things, we see the political whatnots.

Also, Mice! 🐭

Still, it begs to ask. With this, whats to keep with this, from these rebels from simply going here with their fun toys?

I wonder if instead she intends to saddle a griffin. Unless she becomes the Alicorn of spite I think it’s probably more likely.

The lieutenant frowned at her, moving more deeply into Gilda's field of vision. "It's a field mouse."

Lieutenant? I smell a Time Skiiiiiiiip~!

Ah, delicious, delicious world-building! Keep giving me the good stuff!

The Princess of Aggressive Negotiations... or perhaps a brighter outcome, the Princess of Camaraderie.

So Rarity make an entrance but with this setting it will probably only be for the duration of their stay in Trottingham.

I have a theory about this universe. Well, two actually.

The first is that it an alternate universe created by Starlight Glimmer time travel sheningan.

The second is that the bombing was acutaly engineered by Celestia.

Why? Equestria Secret Service reported the rise in power of the Storm King and subsequent conquering of multiple countries around the world. With the Storm King war machine seemingly growing without any stop in sight, Celestia saw the need to revigorate Equestria military, which have deteriored greatly in hundreds of years of peace. Many things were worrying Celestia if the country were to suddenly become militaristic.

The number of war/batlle/fighting related Cutie mark was bafflingly really low.

The lacking infrastructures to support a large army.

The general mindset of the population would not approve of such change in politic for no reason and all the neighboring countries would become nervous if the largest empire in the world became more armed.

So Celestia needed to manipulate the mindset of the population fast and reabilitate the military fast. How? By having a smaller war before the big one.

So in a clever move, she orchestrated the closing of the trade with Griffonstone and the Iles and made many move to raise the tension between the two old adversary. She then made her secrect service infiltrate radical griffin cells to manipulate them into bombing the population. That way, Equestria population would cries for blood, Equestria would drag out their military out of their sordid state (they were just the WORST before) and change the infrastructure of the country rather smoothly.

As a bonus, Equestria would seriously undermind the neighbooring country who would most likely join the Storm King into attacking the rich and prosper Equestria, get rid of a long time torn in their side, find plenty of slaves for their industries and farming field.

For Celestia, the benefits outweighted the loss, so thats why Celestia is behind the bombing.

I have been thinking about this chapter, and I sorta hit a strange question.

It's not complicated, but its a dangerous one. But anyhow..

Why should we care about these people?

And it's not the world. It is beautiful and descriptive.
It's not the setting. It is lovely, and evocative.

But none of these cast are likeable. Twilight is sympathetic, twilight is sad, though I have to ask.
"What is there to like about her?"

Gilda is great, she is the perfect blank slate, to see, to show, and offer a world we havent seen.
"But what should be enjoying about her character?"

Anyhow, sorry. I hope you can really show these are not-worries. And I hope in reading I can be wrong in this, just a skipping stone across things.


...You're suggesting Celestia willingly committed an act of terror against her own people. Yeah, no.

I don't know, I'd be fine with being called "your dark majesty."

Heh. Trying to crush Twilight Sparkle under paperwork? You're goig to need a few forests more there.

I do love how the Packing gets a capital in Gleaming's mind.

Working on wings, eh? That could be taken in several directions...

And, as though summoned by the need for tasteful ostentation, Rarity arrives in the story. Whatever she creates is sure to be stunning. Possibly in a very literal sense. All that brocade and crystal might well turn the battalion's hats into improvised weapons.

Login or register to comment