• Member Since 17th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago



The most wanted mare in Equestria, Twilight Sparkle is the greatest thief in the world. As she follows in the hoofsteps of her grandmother, Twilight Twinkle, she's joined by friends and chased by family, all while trying to make a few bits!

An alternate universe fiction where Twilight Sparkle never entered Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. At least, not without a set of lockpicks. Gilda is her closest ally and friend, and a skilled marksman with her crossbow. And of course there's Rarity Belle, who can wrap Twilight around her hoof with a wink and a smile - and usually picks her pockets in the process. With friends like these, Twilight keeps one step ahead of Shining Armor and tries to get her hooves on all the bits she can carry.


Special shoutout to Ampris for the cover image. Check her out on twitter at @AmpDragoness - careful, some of her art is NSFW.

Chapters (22)
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Comments ( 314 )

This is awesome. I look forward to reading more chapters of this one.


I'm not sure if it really counts as a crossover when it doesn't include any of the same characters, story, or setting. There are certainly some elements taken and some nods and references.

Nice looking fic!
Will Twilight end up becoming the Princess of thievery?

"So is spaghetti until it gets wet."

I cant wait to see more of this.. and I take it your a lupin the 3rd fan

Crossover with what?

Also this is amazing, even if I don't like allies/friends/(intelligent and effective characters who consistently work together) constantly trying to screw each other over.

Still hilarious, tho.

"So is spaghetti, until it gets wet~"

This line. This is probably the best line I have read in a month. Thank you for that.

I figured Maud would join the team based on the cover, but I am glad it happened fast. I feel slightly bad for Gilda, but I guess she is still certainly a strong member of the team, just...not as physically strong as Maud.

Also read the comments and found the anime it is based on.

If praying worked like that, I might have been religious.

Love it. Also is it wrong that I am praying for Maud to say something about her hoof crushing an unworthy object?

Well, congratulations to our Bolt for capturing Lupin's spirit.
Still, it was... Strange thinking Rarity's dialogues with Fujiko's voice.

"I don't like competition," Rarity hissed.

Fujiko. Just Fujiko. And it even sounds like something a thief Rarity would say.:raritywink:

"Twilight, darling, I'm flattered, but I'm straight," Rarity said, flatly.

Rarity, you're playing Fujiko and Twilight Sparkle is Lupin III. I don't believe you one moment.

"So is spaghetti, until it gets wet~" Twilight's smile only got broader.

Admit it, Bolt, you're actually Monkey Punch in disguise.

This was perfect. And I wonder how Applejack would take it if she found out where that money came from. :ajbemused:
Now, the question I forgot to ask since the last chapter: if Twilight also has a blue jacket, will we get counterparts to Rebecca, Nyx and Leonardo too?

So we get shinning back story and also how twilight knew the gravity reversing spell and other high tier spells.

Liking this so far and nice how Shining Armor is Zenigata

Looks like mafia-related business, I'm interested.

I'm in love with this story. Aside from the fact that the characters are done perfectly, I'm enjoying the conflict between Twilight and Shining. Great job, I'll eagerly await the next chapter. Keep goin and stay golden^^

So, Griffonia (for lack of a better name) is Equestria's Baltic States, or Post- Roman Germany. Coolio.

Oh man, another great adventure down. Great job!

The scumbag got away easy, if you ask me.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you click on something thinking it will never in a million years work out and that you're in for a lot of cringe and maybe a few chuckle-worthy lines to paste to friends? And then you realize you were completely wrong and actually it's a fine story, the author has a strong grasp of how to use prose and narration to add to the character of the narrative, and everything is reading just fine? And now you've ended up recommending the story to like three other people?

That's me over like, the past hour or two. I just read the entirety of this story and I really, really enjoyed it. Once you get past the obvious character bends and breaks from canon - Twilight's criminal mentality, Fujiko-Mine-as-played-by-Rarity, such-like - the rest of the fic is a surprisingly breezy read. And as the story progresses, the writing just seems to get stronger. I'm particularly impressed by how well the dialogue flows, keeping banter between characters snappy and nailing just about every joke. This is one of the better action comedies I've read on FimFiction.

"You know Twilight," Gilda shrugged. "She's got some plan that I couldn't understand without stealing a PhD first."
"I didn't think you could steal those," Rarity raised an eyebrow.
"She put herself through college by breaking into Canterlot University's records department and marking her own bills as being paid. First thing she ever stole was her education."


I always like a well written 'thief Twilight' story, and this one is up for a very good start!
Nice work. :twilightsmile:

"That is completely impractical, insane, and relies on using magic that I barely know anything about," Gilda said. "I like it."

So do I! :yay:

"If the bits had hung on much longer, they would have taken the top couple floors with them," Twilight said. "Turns out they don't build most casinos to withstand huge amounts of force pulling them towards the sky."


Nice story so far, good work.

See the word bookmark is a pun because it's a book and it's also the mark and- I've killed the joke haven't I?

:eeyup: After all, explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog.
You understand it better, but it dies in the process.

He'd picked up a lot of tricks over the last few years of chasing after a master criminal, including how to hide. The key was staying very still, not making a lot of noise, and moving all of the potted plants into one spot to use them as a hunting blind.


Awesome story so far, great work.

Trixie had even provided them with lanyards that marked them as being part of the staff so they could get in without having to do any breaking and entering. It almost felt like cheating.

:twilightblush: Is that so? :derpytongue2:

"At least you seem more trustworthy than that Guard Captain. I think he is one pauldron short of field plate, if you get my meaning."
"Why's that?" Twilight asked, her smile fading. Part of her wanted to defend her brother.
"He thinks some thief is going to try and sneak in," Pinstripe rolled her eyes. "I don't even know why she'd bother."

Indeed, after all she got permission passes and everything. :trollestia:

Maud shook her head. "It looks worse than it is. We have to find Twilight. This is more than just somepony trying to win a contest. They want you dead."


Nice chapter, liked your Trixie too, good work. :twilightsmile:

oh shiny thy path leads only to madness, madness and a severe drinking problem

Poor, poor Shining. He's really got in the whole Zenigata thing...

I get a grin every time I read a new chapter of this story. Also, it is nice to see someone portray Trixie as being awesome.

"You're the one who's going to vanish right into a prison cell if you don't bright Twilight back!" Shining Armor yelled.

Probably meant bring there.

"Why are we here?" Twilight asked. "I mean, no offense, it's great to get out of Equestria for a while, but I don't think there's anything worth stealing around here and you know I don't steal from anyone that can't afford to lose what I'm taking."

"And the only reason I'm here is because the city had "stone" in its name."

"I meant that she hit on Maud, then within a minute she wants to hang out with you." Twilight frowned. "Why didn't she ask me out?"

I love all of the characters in this story.

Except maybe Shiny. He's kinda bleh. Also Rarity stabbing her friends in the back.

But everyone else is 100% awesome.

Haha There is no such thing as excessive force, only varying degrees of overkill. XD

Oh man, every chapter I read just helps me love this story more and more. Great chapter as usual, keep goin and stay golden^^

You just keep spewing these chapters out. I love it.

I NEED Twilight to actually shack up with some sexy mare, preferably Rarity even though i know poor Lupin would never get the chance. Give me my desire, dammit!

Also, if you ever slow down with the updates, i swear to Raptor Jesus that I'll feast upon the succulent flesh of your children.

Im still loving this story. I love how you keep putting out chapters on a bi weekly schedule it's awesome

"I can't believe I lost!" Trixie groaned, her head down on the cafe table. "How did I lose to a yak?"

This one was unexpected...

8050844 I suppose that, if that video was the first part...
I also still believe you're actually Monkey Punch in disguise.

Interestingly enough my favorite part of the chapter actually was the interaction between disguised Twilight and Shining. :derpytongue2:

Nice work, keep it up.

ohhh Princess blue****s got the mare he wanted...

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