• Member Since 16th Feb, 2014
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MagnetBolt


E

Starlight Glimmer. Trixie Lulamoon. Tempest Shadow. Three ponies that are definitely really great with foals. But there's no way they'll mess this up, right? They just have to keep Flurry Heart out of trouble for one night - what could happen in a couple hours?


Just a quick comedy bit I wrote for fun. Remember to like subscribe and send dominos pizza points for exclusive pictures of me eating pizza.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 45 )

Tempest answer to the door riddle was amazing. :rainbowlaugh:

“Trixie, it’s not impossible,” Starlight sighed. “We just have to think logically. If I remember correctly, there was a riddle like this in one of the Daring Do books, and all she had to do was think of a question they’d both answer the same way.”

For the record: the "correct" answer is to ask one door what the other one would say. That way, no matter which is which, there's exactly one lie involved.

I'd blame Tempest for trying to solve every problem with violence, but she's darn good at it. Also loved Cadance's remark about Twilight collecting villains and Trixie dealing with the three bridge goats. :rainbowlaugh:

Yes...Yes...Fucking genius! More edgy Tempest Shadow please!! I wanna see her interact with the EG world...that would be hilarious. Like Starlight is invited to the human world and Tempest wants to go because she wants to see if this other world is a threat and then may or may not develop a crush on Sunset Shimmer lol. Great story.

The lesson is: Flurry Heart is the toughest SOB in all of Equestria.

I fucking love Starlight, and all that it entails; best story, thus far.

this amused me :)

“I’ll order pizza if she doesn’t like the applesauce.” Starlight smiled. Cadance didn’t share her expression. “No? Maybe pasta?”

:pinkiecrazy: Cut the pieces REALLY small, just slightly bigger than all the kid is getting is taste and the kid'll clean your plate for you. Ornery little shit. :rainbowlaugh: At least, once the burritos and the sauce got through her. My niece like most kids that age was something else.

“I have led armies into battle, commanded hundreds of trained soldiers and mercenaries, subjugated nations, and crushed entire nations beneath my hooves, and you want me to look after a foal?”

And you'll be BEGGING to get back to that by the end of the night.:pinkiecrazy:

“This is about earning trust and redemption and friendship and… stuff…” Starlight said, pleading with Tempest. “And if you help I’ll wipe Pinkie Pie’s memory of your real name.”

Tempest turned without a word and stomped over to the tiny skeleton, her horn showering the floor with sparks. The skeleton looked up, and was grabbed under the chin, shoved against the wall.

“WHERE IS SHE?!” Tempest screamed.

“You’re- *gurk* - choking me! I don’t even breathe! How are you-”

“WHERE IS FLURRY HEART?!”

“Tambelon! She’s in Tambelon!”

And THIS is why Tempest is liked, she gets it DONE!

“I’m impressed,” Starlight said. “It’s too bad we’re on a secret mission where we’re never going to tell anypony it happened, or else that would be a great story.”

Trixie’s expression fell.

“Shoot!”

Aren't all the best ones like that?

“I already know all about her,” Grogar said. “Her alicorn magic will allow me to break through the dimensional barrier and bring Tambelon back into the living world, and then my dark magic will, well, you know,” he sighed. “Sorry. I already explained this to her but she didn’t appreciate it and then I had to change her diaper.”

“And I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Starlight said. “It’s just that, if you really turned off all the pony magic around here… you better take a close look at her.”

“Hrm?” Grogar turned to Flurry Heart, leaning in to see, dust trickling down to tickle her nostrils. “She looks like a pony. I’d say perfectly normal but none of you pastel equines is normal to begin with and her wings are-”

Flurry Heart sneezed.

A beam of coherent death vaporized Grogar’s skull, and the rest of his body fell to the ground, twitching.

“When you used your bell it turned off the suppression spell keeping her surges under control,” Starlight explained. “You probably can’t hear me, though.”

And this , dear former villains, is the CORRECT time to monologue, RIGHT after the Filly of the Apocalypse has struck

“You mean you were going to send me and a motley crew on a mission instead of dealing with it yourself,” Starlight corrected.

“It would be a character building exercise,” Twilight huffed. “Celestia did it to me and look at how I turned out! Besides, Tempest needs to get out of the castle more.”

To translate into simpler and fewer words, you're turning into a sit on your ass bitch like tia.

This got a Fave and a thumbs up just for description and concept, than I read it and now I'm sad that I don't can't fave or thumbs up again.:fluttercry:

A beam of coherent death vaporized Grogar’s skull, and the rest of his body fell to the ground, twitching.

Poor grogar I bet he liked that head :rainbowlaugh:

There were so many lines and scenes that I liked in this story. You got the like early for Tempest’s forth wall break. The favorite was for everything else.

“Trixie thinks that goes against Twilight Sparkle’s branding.”

“Branding is important,” Tempest conceded.

That was my favorite exchange - I love that Tempest held on to that from her time with the Storm King.

The only “critique” I can think of was Tempest saying “anypony” by default, rather than “anyone.” But maybe she naturalized quickly.

Attracted here via the story's title in the "Popular Stories" box, and oh, my. This was hilarious start to finish, to the point where I had to awkwardly explain to my boss why I was grinning at my desk. You've got a master's touch with the running gag. I can tell I've got some formidable competition in Aragon's comedy contest! (Ought to go read your entry for that next, since if that's half as fun as this it'll be time well spent.)

… And I'm belatedly realizing you're also the "Witch of the Everfree" author. I also loved that one, and really should have been following you long ago. Fortunately, this is a mistake that's easy to rectify! :twilightsmile:

8730176
Wait, wait.
This wasn't their entry for the comedy contest?
There's another story deliberately designed for that contest?
...Welp, we're sunk.

That was fantastic. What an excellent fic.

Oh this is too cool for words. Love the way you have worked Tempest into the pony world. Kudos! Hmm, three billy goats on a bridge, I'm surprised the ponies didn't end up rescuing a poor defenseless troll while they were there. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

8731728

Oh, they got trolled. By the great and powerful Trollsie- er, Trixie.

It better not be about necromancy!

LOL

Poor Grogar.

I hope Starlight doesn't feel bad about her skeleton servant giving away the secret mission. Does anyone really believe Trixie wouldn't have told everyone about their trip to Tambelon within a day?

This story got a fav and thumbs' up for its quality and keeping in character for all the narrative. :twilightsmile:

I'm saving it! :moustache:

Tremendous fun and fantastic character work. Thank you for it.

This was a fun story.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I haven't laughed this hard at a fanfic in a long time. XD

8761262
And I know which one!

But this one is just like Bolt’s haircut: The better of the two.

Is this in any way related to H.P. Lovecraft's "The Doom That Came to Sarnath"?

That was funny!

JDH
JDH #26 · March 23rd · · ·

MORE (please?) (sorry, I don't know where to get the mlp emojis)

BAHAHAHAHAHA! Glorious! Absolutely glorious! Poor Grogar. Bastard didn't know what he was dealing with.

Okay, that was absolutely glorious. Just one question: if ALL pony magic was suppressed, why did Flurry's magic still work?

8814919
Because Alicorns are Hax.

I made it as far as "see what those giant flap flaps can do" before I lost my shit. Well done.

8814919
It was apocalypse magic obviously :pinkiecrazy:

8784990
The title is a reference - I'm a big Lovecraft fan, though I try not to write like him too much.

Oh this was good and the end was just the funniest. Looks like Starlight forgot about something.

8815263
It's a good reference.

Flurry Heart is Best Alicorn.

Please, please, please tell me where you got that cover art.

Okay. This was absolutely amazing, from start to finish.

The addition of tempest was a fantastic idea, and now I can't help but want more of that trio's adventures :derpytongue2:

Wonderfully funny!

I love how you tied it together at the end. Great story.

“Twilight, do you collect villains?” Cadance whispered.

Starlight and Sunset are doing pretty good on their collections as well.

Ludicrous. Hilarious. A+ work, and a fine focus on our more sociopathic heroes.:pinkiehappy:

Came for the comedy, stayed for a ride that really went places :)

“Twilight, do you collect villains?” Cadance whispered.

That oddly gave me a random idea. like a unicorn uses her magic to Freeze villains in a life sized action figure state. Like they are collectables. starlifhr with her her equal sign cute mark

This was a lot of fun.

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