• Member Since 20th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 14 hours ago

AndrewRogue


Just a guy who writes, games, and does stuff and things.

T

Lovely cover art courtesy of Dilarus.

Returning from a trip to Manehattan, Trixie has a brand new magic trick that she's all too eager to share with Starlight.

Unfortunately, when things don't work quite as expected, Trixie and Starlight are forced to go on a journey across Equestria to find the pony that gave her the trick and make things right once more.

Gold Medalist in the "Has That Always Been There?" January 2017 Writeoff

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 38 )

Ooh, I was just thinking about this story! Looking forward to reading the final version.:pinkiehappy:

8328935
Hopefully I managed to improve it at least a little bit and didn't just spin my wheels with edits. :p

8328938 As long as you kept the eighteen thousand word clop scene. That's the whole reason the story won.

A good, underrated short story with an interesting antagonist and with both Starlight and Trixie in character. Also, the resolution , defeating an enemy with honest friendship, it´s very much within the spirit of the show. Sadly, too many authors here think edgier equal coolness.
Special note in how Trixie proves her usefulness despite her lack of power, as a trickster.

A gold medal well earned I say.

“Try as I might to change it, I can never escape who I am.”

Bah! A blasting rod through the prefrontal cortex will change that quickly enough!

Whenever you get bored of being who you are, just remember that traumatic brain injury is there for YOU! :pinkiecrazy:

“Would you please calm down?” Blackstone asked, finally sparing a look her way. “There’s no sense in getting worked up. Your magic won’t work here.”

Blackstone suddenly gasped and, gurgling blood, fell to the floor with a dagger sticking out of the back of her skull. A manic-looking grey Earth pony with a wild white mane cackled as his mad green eyes danced behind a pair of enormous goggles, "Those who use magic ALWAYS forget that there's more than one way to skin a cat pirate!" Somewhere in the vast ocean, Capper gets a cold shiver up his spine.

Just pointing out how short-sighted Blackstone's being there. Blanking out magic doesn't make you immune to being punched in the face. :trollestia:

All the signs were there with Sombra – the cruelty, the callousness, the arrogance, his very nature as an umbrum –

And right there's where ya screwed up, Blackstone. Comic Sombra WAS NEVER A PONY IN THE FIRST PLACE. He was a PLANT from a race of demonic entities who'd had a mind-control program inside him from the start. He never HAD a choice. He COULDN'T resist the spell once it was activated. He was basically a machine. Frankly, I also thought that made him much less of a character than even a generic villain... and then they tossed that out anyway and gave him free will again when they needed it for the later story, making him even WORSE as a believable character... but there it is.

8329602

Not to mention Sombra DIDN´T EVEN HAD A CUTIE MARK. Why did Blackstone create the Destiny Trap in the first place?:derpyderp2:

Ah, it feels good to read something like this again. It has a very season one aspect to it, dispensing with the flashy magic and boiling things down to the things that make ponies the way they are.

Loved both Trixie and Starlight. They work so well together that it's a shame it had to happen so late into the show's lifetime.

Blackstone is well handled here. No complicated backstory or motives, just a character that thinks she's got the right intentions. And we all know what happens to characters with the right intentions...

Nice work!

This was a delight. Starlight and Trixie's chemistry was perfect. The magic of friendship is hardcore af.

Having now finished this story for a second time, I can certainly say that it's an improvement over the (already pretty great) writeoff draft. All the fabulous character work is still there, the narrative is tighter, the niggling issues I had are (mostly) ironed out, and you've given Blackstone a far more compelling backstory and motivation than what she had before. Which was, uh... Starlight stole her teddy bear. I think.

I still find it weird that she chooses to go after Starlight and Trixie, and the reason for the amount of insight she has into both remains vague. Her exact motivations are still uncertain, but there's greater depth there than before, and I love the additions you made to the ending.

But since you did eliminate the clop scene, I must sadly give this revised version the same score as its previous iteration: the shameful 8/10.

...Oh. Uh. I noticed a bunch of typos and editing errors. Here they are.

Snorting, Trixie lifted the cards with her magic, riffling, overhoofing, and weaving them to her heart’s content before she gave the deck a final, decisive cut before and presented it to Blackstone.

“You see, even in a random, disordered world, the truth,” she said, flipping the top card and revealing a face that featured a black diamond, “is that I will always be me.” Turning her body just enough to show off a cutie mark that matched the card face.

It’s face bore a perfect replica of her own cutie mark.

It’s been pretty lonely around the castle with Twilight and everypony else in Saddle Arabia, .”

“Not quite as dramatic, but still good.” Clearing her throat, Trixie pulled a small wooden box from under her hat and placed it on the Cutie Map before sliding a deck of cards out of it as she spoke,

Standing unsteadily, she started for the door, the sound sound of Trixie’s hooves following her.

She wanted to run, to gallop, to flee the pony pony responsible for her current predicament,

Who tried to take revenge on Twilight Sparkle by change history.

...Yeah, I'm that guy. :ajsmug:

8340250
Still need to respond to all the other lovely comments so far, but hey. Thanks for pointing those out. All fixed!

I hope.

8340290 For the record, "sound sound" and "pony pony" could work grammatically, if you were using the first word of each pair to modify the second.

I'm not sure what a pony pony might look like, though.

Sorry for my lazy in responding to all of you.

8329453 Thank you for the ultra kind words, though I'd say at the time of posting calling it underrated was a mite premature! :p It'd been up for like, 12 hours.

8329516 And a bloody tough one when put up against that silly eyeball story.

8329602 You worry me sometimes, buddy. But your readership is always appreciated.

8329781 The removal of the Cutie Mark is simply a side effect of the Destiny Trap. The mechanism's actual use is to strip away inherent magic (ala Pegasus flight, Earth Pony strength/planting, Unicorn spellcasting, etc).

8330396 Thank you kindly! As someone who loves me some sick ass shonen action sometimes, it is also nice to just let things be solved with words and thoughts on occasions. And yeah, they are great fun together. My second favorite pair of pones. (Also props on Shampoo riding Trixie into battle).

8333388 Thankies.

8350221
Sometimes people just hit that sweet spot that draws in everyone's attention.

8350221 Well it's true! Magic users are usually really arrogant and forget conventional weaponry still works unless they've shielded themselves or become immortal/impenetrable.

The "Harry Potter" series made a point of that, that wizards were often terrible with simple logic and otherwise obvious solutions because they never had to think that way.

So the easiest thing to do is have an affiliate sneak up behind while the baddie is grandstanding and monologing, and stab him through the head/blow his brains out. Always go for the brain. Stab or shoot elsewhere, there's a risk they can respond or heal themselves. Can't do that if the thinking parts are splattered everywhere!

STRATEGY!! :pinkiecrazy:

Ends the same way Korra ended. And I do mean the same way. :trollestia:

I can't remember which review I read that pointed me to this, but I can now confirm that this was indeed a good story. Nothing too unique, though, just a well-written mini adventure. Equestria Exiled looks to be much more inspired, so I'll be checking out that fic next, and then see if you've got the spark to go with the skill.

I thought that 8328941 was totally joking, and 8340250 doesn't make things much clearer. I, for one, am glad that the final version is a friendshipping story; I do not see how a clop scene could be anything other than shoehorned in. As it stands, this is a good look into how there's actually a real pony under all that bluster, and this is a good look into how people can indeed change for the better.

8566476 It was a joke.

8566476
8566913

Very much a joke. I am a fairly PG-13 author at heart.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

#BlackstoneDidNothingWrong

:V

This was great though.

Blackstone shrugged. “Have your princesses throw me in Tartarus or banish me to the moon for a thousand years. It won’t change anything. Your magic and your cutie mark are gone, Starlight Glimmer.”

This line is just hilarious, as though they'd do anything of the sort.

“No,” Starlight said. “You need to hear this. I’ve been where you are right now, Blackstone. I know I can’t imagine what it must have been like to lose your home and your people to Sombra, but I do know all about the road you’re walking right now. I’ve seen how it ends. But it isn’t too late to change.” Starlight reached out a hoof. “It’s never too late to change. Come back to Ponyville with us. We’ll show you.”

She's never been through much like that--she lost her home to them realizing the terrible truth about her, but that's not exactly comparable. And the actual backstory's even more laughable as a comparison. Basically, nailing Starlight's character perfectly here.

Overall, a lot of fun, liked the low-key magic behind it all, and the motivations supporting it. Still though, Blackstone was probably at least as much right as wrong. And hey, bearing in mind it was reversible anyway, why not do just what she said and give Starlight a chance to show she's changed (what with her very much having shown, so far, that she hasn't), and then giving it back? Oh well, that's ponies for you. :V

Took me long enough to get around to this story, but I'm glad I finally did. Fantastic adventure, with great characterization, pacing, and talking down the villain. (And I'm always a sucker for Trixie getting surprised by ponies willing to play along.) Thank you for this. I wish I'd read it earlier.

Matching FOME's statement, I too have taken a while to around to this wonderful adventure. This was truly a great read for me. I enjoyed it immensely. :pinkiehappy:

8341869
Lemme tell you about contrastive reduplication

So, maybe Trixie meets a changeling, and then Starlight has to figure out which is the bug pony and which is the pony pony or something

Blackstone stared at the extended hooves, shaking as the tears continued to build in her eyes. “I’ve stolen your cutie marks. I’ve stripped you of your magic. And this is how you fight back?”

“It is,” Starlight said.

“Why?” Blackstone asked, the building tears obvious in the corners of her eyes.

“Because we were given the same chance.”

This was fabulous. It's a perfect description of something we've been seeing a lot in the show these past few seasons--a reformed villain reforms a villain, simply by having the experience of being reformed themselves.

Superb character motivation seen in Blackstone. I particularly liked Starlight's part of the debate that the two of them were alike at one time in her life.

Congratulations AndrewRouge!

Your story, The Destiny Trap, is my 1000th favorite!

You have won the prize of:

A diabetic amount of ponies!

Would you like to accept, Y/N?

What? Well… I’ve been studying under Princess Twilight. I’ve learned about making friends. I’ve made amends for what I did in the village.”

“And?”

“And what?”

Well, if this took place after "To Where and Back Again" (and I assume it did, as the story faintly alludes to these events earlier on), she did help to both save Equestria from changeling takeover and the reformation of the changeling hive. Granted, with help, but she still played an important role, and so did Trixie for that matter.

“Honestly, Trixie? Were you a more powerful unicorn, I would have taken your ability too. Your sort of arrogance with any real power… well, I suppose we saw what would happen when you had the Alicorn Amulet.”

True, but she was also under the influence of the amulet's power at the same time, corrupting her magically and against her will. With that in mind, I don't think that would be a fair assessment of Trixie's true character.

Of course, all both of those points prove that there are noteworthy flaws in Blackstone's logic, and to me, that just sells the story's moral even better. :pinkiehappy:

This was a lovely story. Starlight and Trixie work so well as friends, and make a great duo for adventures like this. We need loads more of this sort of story in the franchise, both in the fanon and the canon. :twilightsmile:

Nothing better than Trixuevand Starlight. Except headcanon Crystal Empire lore.

Well done. Very well done.

That was a great story.
Loved belivable motivation.

-----
Tiny nitpick:

Well, the three of them technically, but Blackstone seemed dedicated to walking a ways behind them, lost in her own thoughts.

That was good. I enjoyed how you wrote Starlight and Trixie.

Shenzy #35 · May 7th · · ·

Her cutie mark was gone.

And that's why you don't buy in creepy (pet)shops.
Something is ruining your day AND they rip you off.
Not like they hadn't enough problems for free already!

Shenzy #36 · May 7th · · ·

Trixie. Greater then ever.

What a very pleasant diamond in the rough story. Glad I found it.

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