//------------------------------// // Fool's Gold Part Two! - The Mare in the High Castle // Story: Twilight the Third // by MagnetBolt //------------------------------// "Why do you know so much about tea?" Gilda asked, once they'd gotten back to the cramped hotel room. It was just a little too small to be comfortable for three people, especially when one of those people was a griffon and twice the size of the average pony. "You don't even drink it. You always have coffee." "I have a vested interest," Twilight said. "Look, I know usually Rarity steals all of my cash, right?" "I don't think it counts as stealing if you don't even try to stop her," Maud said, quietly. "It's a gift at that point." "Well when I do actually have bits, I like to take some and invest in something legitimate. It's better than the woods because you get interest and better than banks because there's less public paperwork." Twilight adjusted her jacket. "If Lord Rust looks into it, he'll find that one 'Dusk Shine' does in fact own a small tea-trading company, and if he's even smarter he'll find out that the ledgers don't add up at all. That's because I funnel some money from our heists into it, but because I implied that I'm involved in the black market, he'll assume I'm making a brisk but irregular trade in drugs." "I never knew you owned a company," Gilda muttered. "Come on, Gilda, you must have set something aside as a nest egg. Uh, so to speak." Twilight shrugged. "Well... you remember that one thing I was putting money into?" Gilda asked cautiously. "Yeah, some kind of investment firm. Non-traditional banking, I think. I didn't really read the pamphlets." Twilight sat on one of the beds, wincing as a stubborn, rusty spring prodded her flank. "Okay, well, it turns out that the plan was that they'd give all the bits to a dragon, on the basis that dragons keep their gold safer than bank vaults." Gilda sighed. "Unfortunately, while dragons make it real simple to leave a deposit, the only thing they let you withdraw is fire." "Why would you ever give your money to a dragon?" Twilight shook her head, disappointed. "Twelve and a half percent interest isn't something to scoff at!" Gilda retorted. "If I ever figure out how to get my money back, I'll be a rich bird!" "Something's wrong," Maud said. She stood up quickly, looking around, her ears twitching. Twilight nodded to Gilda, and they quietly walked to the only door, each of them staying to one side. Gilda drew her crossbow, and Twilight prepared a quick spell. These preparations did not help as much as they had hoped. The long, narrow window that looked down over the slope of the city towards the sea exploded inwards as three goats entered the room in the time-honored fashion of people who know that half of their job is surprise and the other half involves violence. They were wearing some kind of black armor that covered their whole bodies, shimmering like fish scales when it caught the light. Goggles covered their eyes and ensured that they couldn't be mistaken as anything as harmless as 'people'. Hooves stepped on the fallen shards of glass without breaking it as they spread out, moving with almost total silence despite the heavy-looking gear. "Dusk Shine, Baa Ram Ewe has sentenced you to die," the first one said, with a voice as dry as old parchment. Twilight sighed in exasperation - assassins like these meant that someone wanted to send a message. Someone was angry and they were rich enough to afford to hire people that were cool and stylish. Assassins often cultivated that kind of look, though it only really impressed clients who didn't understand that the purpose of a good assassin was to make a problem disappear. A flashy entrance and ominous one-liner meant that this was closer to street theater than murder. Maud was the other sort of assassin. She was the type who didn't have style or honor and was perfectly happy to walk to to somepony, or in the case some goat, and snap their neck without making a bold declaration of purpose. That assassin dropped to the ground like a puppet with his strings cut, his head looking directly back at his tail. Gilda and Twilight fired at the other two in the moment of distraction. Gilda's crossbow bolt bounced off of the black armor, the curved scales deflecting the point. Twilight's spell shoved the third assassin back out of the window. The street was several floors below, and brick. There was a dull thud as he landed, leaving no illusions about him catching himself. The remaining goat charged Twilight. She saw the glint of steel and ducked as his hoof just barely missed her head, a hoofblade nicking her ear. Gilda fired again at point-blank range, the bolt glancing aside. "What in Tartarus are these goats wearing?" Gilda swore and reloaded. Maud grabbed his hoof as he swung down at Twilight, stopping the blade in midair. She twisted it back, and there was a pop as the joint bent the wrong way, tendons snapping like overstretched rubbed bands. The goat didn't scream or even react beyond trying to pull himself free. "I don't think that's the only bit we should be worried about," Twilight said. "Look!" She pointed. The goat with the broken neck stumbled to his feet. There was an odd sound rather like a snapping neck in reverse, and his head suddenly wasn't dangling. "...That's never happened before," Maud said, quietly. She was used to people that she killed staying killed. There was a sound of a goat climbing back up the wall outside, despite being thrown out over a sheer drop that should have turned him into goat soup wrapped up in stylish black armor. The goat with the backwards elbow stabbed at Maud with his other front hoof. She blocked it, barely, the blade sliding along her shoe as the goat put his weight into it. Twilight could see the steel sparking as the blade cut a shallow divot. "Plan B!" Twilight yelled. "We don't even have a Plan A!" Gilda yelled. She kicked the table over and used it as cover to block throwing knives that went nearly all the way through the inch-thick wood. "I'm open to suggestions!" Twilight turned and blasted the door off its hinges. Gilda fired a bolt through the goggles of the assassin attempting to turn her into a very large pincushion. It would have been extremely fatal to a normal person, but for the goat, it just served to distract him for long enough to let her get through the door, still surprisingly coordinated despite having a shaft of metal and wood all the way through his brain. "Maud, come on, we need to-" Twilight blinked and stumbled. The nick on her ear was starting to throb, and the floor seemed to list like she was on a ship in a storm. "I think something's wrong." Maud bucked the goat she was holding hard enough that the hoof she was holding remained being held despite the rest of his body going across the room, and she tossed it down before picking Twilight up and carrying her out. The hoof kept moving while it was on the floor, the broken end glittering in the light. Episode 12 Fool's Gold Part Two! - The Mare in the High Castle "Poison?" Gilda asked, as Twilight tossed and turned on the narrow bed. She was sweating feverishly, and the tiny wound was already swollen and red. The nasty little place down by the docks wasn't exactly the best place to be if you needed a doctor, but being somewhere moderately filthy was going to be less immediately fatal than being somewhere the goat assassins could find them. "I think it's Purple Lotus Extract," Maud said, quietly. "It's a deadly poison, but it takes days to actually kill the victim." "Days? What good is that in a fight?" "It isn't. Poison is imprecise, expensive, and slow." Maud said. "I prefer being very direct." "I noticed. So what do we do? She needs a doctor." "Normal assassins would carry the antidote with them if they were using a poisoned blade, in case they cut themselves," Maud noted. "But these weren't normal." "Think they were some kind of zombies? I've never seen necromancy, but I'm willing to believe just about anything after today." Gilda paced. "They even smelled dead." "Dead?" Maud tilted her head. "Yeah. I donno. Maybe you couldn't smell it because you're not a carnivore. When meat goes bad there's this awful stink, really distinctive. Like rotting fruit but ten times worse. The goats smelled like that." Gilda stopped at the window, the curtain drawn to keep anyone from seeing inside, though it also kept them from seeing out. She resisted the urge to lift it and check the alleyway again. "Twilight said that the Philosopher's Stone had a lot of legends around it. Like immortality." Maud tapped a hoof on the ground. "I think the rumors are true." "So what, we've gotta freaking find an immortality potion?" "That would probably help," Maud said. "It's very hard to die of being poisoned if you're immortal." "I'm not gonna die either way," said a weak voice from the bed. Twilight sat up slowly, her horn sparking. She looked drawn and pale. Her smile as as fragile as an eggshell. She pushed the thin blanket aside and almost collapsed from the effort it took. "Don't get up!" Gilda snapped, stepping over and pushing her back down onto the mattress (which was equal parts straw and what could generously be called feathers, though whatever bird they came from had obviously been extremely sick). "I've got a plan," Twilight said, wiping sweat from her brow. "You're going to love it." Shining Armor stormed off of the boat so quickly he had to have been walking down the gangplank even before it actually reached the dock. He'd brought two other guards with him, who were following at a more measured pace behind the oncoming storm of their determined Captain. "Captain Armor-" The sheep said. She was surrounded by what looked like local guards. "You clearly didn't recruit from the brightest ewes on the island," Shining Armor said. "I can tell this because they're standing between me and where I want to go." Miss Grimm gave him a level look. "Lord Rust has given instructions that you are to be taken to the palace. You will have dinner with him. Then you will leave. If your ship requires provisioning we will of course provide it at no cost, provided you leave with the tide." "And why are you so eager to get rid of a Royal Guard?" Shining Armor said. "That's suspicious all by itself. We're here chasing one of the most dangerous criminals in the world-" "You are here on the basis of a rumor," Miss Grimm countered. "We are humoring you politely. We are not signitaries of the Equestrian Accord, and you do not have joint jurisdiction." "A Guard in hot pursuit of a criminal carries jurisdiction with him," Shining Armor retorted. "A custom we are well aware of," Grimm sighed. "And we are also aware that following a rumor days after the fact is hardly hot pursuit." "Just take us to your leader," Shining Armor said. "Hopefully he'll have more sense than you do." Across the city, in a tangle of tight streets and disheveled huts, light glinted from glass. "He's here," Gilda said, putting down the binoculars. "Rarity must have come through with delivering that anonymous tip. I guess she's not as useless as I thought." "That's my girl," Twilight sighed. "You're not looking good, Twilight," Gilda muttered. After two days of bed rest, she was looking even worse, shaking and sweating when she wasn't fighting to control herself. "I was hoping it would work its way out of my system," Twilight said. "I'm lucky it was just a scratch. If it had been a real cut, I'd be in serious trouble." She smiled sarcastically. "When we get out of this I'm going to make sure I start carrying a decent first-aid kit with me." "If we get out of this. You realize Shining Armor's going to get them all riled up?" Gilda asked. "I hope so," Twilight groaned. "It's what he's good at. Let's get moving before they can get settled in again." "That doesn't make any sense," Shining Armor said. "We don't have crime in Baa Ram Ewe," Lord Rust repeated, more slowly, like he was talking to a foal. "That's impossible. As long as there are two people in the world, one of them is going to have something the other one wants. The only people who don't commit crimes are dead." "You're right," Lord Rust agreed. "Capital punishment helps. Perhaps I should restate things? There is no repeat crime in Baa Ram Ewe, because as soon as one of our citizens becomes a criminal, they are removed. Our only two punishments are exile and death. Sometimes both." "Both? But-" "The long arm of the law sometimes holds a knife, Captain," Lord Rust said. "This is the stupidest plan I've ever been a part of," Gilda muttered, as she flew above the volcano's caldera. The thermals were great, but the fact that she was flying above a steaming, hissing pool of lava was less great. The air was thick with sulfur and burned her sensitive eyes so much she could barely see. "And I've been a part of a lot of stupid plans. All of which are your ideas, come to think of it." "They're not going to expect me to go in through the volcano side," Twilight said. "And all their attention is going to be on Shining Armor. Worse comes to worst, I can throw myself at him and make him protect me until we get back to Equestria. He's big on taking ponies in alive." "They're not going to expect it," Gilda glumly agreed. "I barely expect it. We should have brought Maud." "You couldn't carry two of us, and I figure I've only got a few hours before I'm too sick to move. They've gotta have the antidote. Even if those assassins are immortal, I'm willing to bet most of the goats and sheep around the palace aren't." Gilda winced as a bubble of molten rock popped on the surface below, hot droplets spraying into the air. The arc of deadly heat just barely missed clipping her wings. "I'd like to note that we're not immortal either," Gilda said. She flapped harder, soaring over what had been the far rim of the caldera and was now the very near rim, really more of a cliff, and not something she wanted to crash into. They cleared a low safety wall (the safety part was to make sure drunken guests didn't fall in unless pushed, not to stop an eruption - nothing could stop an eruption) and set down in the very hardy grass that had been planted in the rich soil and poor air behind the palace. There were a few doors here, servants entrances and a big set of double doors at the other end of an enclosed carriage yard. "I'll keep that in mind," Twilight said, smiling weakly. "Help me get this armor on, then you perch somewhere safe." "Halt!" Barked a sheep, marching up to the suspicious pony in golden armor. "What are you doing here? This part of the palace is off-limits to visitors!" The Royal Guard turned to look. It was a small stallion, very feminine-looking. If not for the bushy mustache, the sheep would have assumed it was a mare. Like all the Royal Guards, his armor turned his coat white and mane golden, making him nearly anonymous. "I was looking for a bathroom," the guard said. "This place is like a maze!" "To get here from the meeting room would require you to leave the palace entirely and enter a different door," the sheep noted. "That's a little far for a bathroom break." "I know. Captain Armor is going to kill me! I was supposed to be back at my post ten minutes ago!" The guard looked around. "I don't suppose you can escort me back there?" "Of course. It's this way." The sheep sighed, relieved. On the rare occasion when someone was found wandering a part of the palace they weren't supposed to be in, getting them to follow peacefully usually required a show of force. Skipping that meant he might be able to get this done quickly and quietly, which Lord Rust would definitely approve of. "Oh, wait, I just thought of something," the Royal Guard said. "Instead of going back to the meeting room, how about you take me to where you're making counterfeit bits?" The sheep turned around quickly, but not quickly enough to avoid being disarmed, his short heavy blade, intended to be carried in the mouth, now against his throat. "You're going to lead me there and you're not going to scream - and don't nod. Just blink twice for yes." The sheep blinked twice. "Great. Sorry about being this direct, but I'm sort of on a time limit. You don't get paid nearly enough for this, do you?" The sheep blinked twice in agreement. "Boring job except for moments of excitement and terror, right? Let me tell you, being a thief is much more rewarding - you get to pick when you have your excitement and terror. You might want to think about a job change. You're probably gonna need to leave town after this anyway, right?" The sheep waited, starting to sweat. The blade was awfully sharp. He could have shorn himself with it. "Lead the way." The pressure against his neck decreased, just enough to let him start walking, slowly and carefully. He led her down a corridor, then to a door. Twilight nodded for him to open it. "Horseapples," Twilight muttered, as she looked into the barracks room, and the eyes of two dozen sheep. "I don't suppose all of you would believe I'm lost and looking for the bathroom?" Lord Rust tilted his head as a sheep entered the meeting room and whispered into his ear. "Ah, interesting," he said. "Captain Armor, you're a smarter stallion than I took you for." The goat smirked lopsidedly, the smug expression of someone with all the cards. "Thank you?" Shining Armor said, confused. His expression, meanwhile, was of someone who didn't even know that there was a poker game going on, much less how badly they were being played. "Unfortunately, we've caught the spy you sent." Lord Rust smirked. "Really, I expected better from you." "A spy? What are you talking about?" Shining Armor looked around as guards surrounded him. "Don't play stupid," Lord Rust sighed. "It's tiresome. You'll talk soon enough. You'll live... well, not longer. Certainly not longer. But you'll die sooner, which might not seem like much incentive now, but it will become one in time." "You can't get away with this. Princess Celestia-" "Will find the ship you arrived on adrift and a thousand miles away, with no one on board. It'll be quite a mystery." Lord Rust smiled, then nodded to the sheep around Shining Armor. Shining Armor remained resolutely silent as he was shoved into a small cell in a dank dungeon. Canterlot Castle had dungeons, but they were clean, dry, and warm. He was fairly sure the stone slab that was pretending to be a bed was covered in mildew, and everything smelled like rot. There was a bucket in one corner, and the smell around it told him that it probably hadn't been changed since the last occupant. The door was closed and locked behind him. The ring around his horn was old and heavy and vaguely painful, like having a vice squeezing his temples. "Well, well, well," said a too-familiar voice from the cell across from his. "Isn't that quite a sight?" Twilight Sparkle stepped up close enough to the barred door on her cell that Shining Armor could see her through the gloom. "Twily?" Shining Armor whispered. Then his expression hardened. "I knew you were here!" "Of course you do. I tipped you off." Twilight snorted. "I was hoping you'd be a better distraction, though. Couldn't you have come with an army of guards and taken the place over?" "No. They're an independent nation, not an Accord signitary. I couldn't bring more than a reasonable bodyguard for myself." Shining Armor frowned. "I shouldn't be surprised they're treating me poorly, though, if they've had to deal with you." "I missed you too, Shiny," Twilight said, rolling her eyes. "Why are you even here? They kill thieves here! If you'd had the decency to get arrested in Equestria at least you wouldn't be looking at the gallows." "Well, in this case, I was hoping to find the antidote," Twilight said, shrugging and sitting down on a dry patch of floor. "Antidote for what?" "Oh, you know. Got poisoned with something that's probably going to kill me in..." Twilight considered. "Couple of hours at this point. I'm already getting twitchy eyelids and the occasional muscle spasm. Maud said that meant it was getting bad. Cod liver oil only does so much to help, you know?" "But that's-" Shining Armor slumped down. "I'm not going to let you die." "I didn't know you cared." "I'm a Guard but I'm still your brother. Now come on, you're clever. You'd never let a cell like this keep you-" Twilight's cell door swung open. "-Oh." "They told me they were imprisoning my commanding officer, so I figured I'd wait here for you," Twilight said. When she stepped closer, Shining Armor could see how pale and drawn she looked, sweating despite the chill down in the dungeon. Something slim and metal went into the lock on his cell door, and after half a minute of small noises and squeaking, the lock opened. "They're actually decent locks," Twilight said. "They all have the same key, though, so once you've picked one you've sort of picked them all." "How did you get poisoned?" Shining Armor asked. "The generous Lord Rust decided to have a few goats try and kill me after our meeting." She winced as Shining Armor pulled on her ear to look at the cut. The edges around it were turning blue. "All the guards I've seen have been sheep." "The goats weren't regular guards. Some kind of special forces." Twilight slapped his hoof away from her ear, folding it back. Or trying to. It kept twitching. "They're also apparently immortal, so if you see something in black armor, don't hold back. One of them had his head twisted completely around and it barely slowed him down." "I'll remember that," Shining Armor said. "Some kind of magic? Necromancy?" "There was like, one goat necromancer ever. Why does everypony think goats are all getting up in corpses?" Twilight sighed. "Anyway, in this case I'm pretty sure it's actually alchemy." Twilight motioned for him to lower his head and fiddled with the ring around his horn when he complied. "You'd think it would be easier to do this for somepony else but you get muscle memory..." Twilight muttered, as she picked the lock. "It's like dressing yourself, you know?" "I'm surprised you don't know a spell for it," Shining Armor said, trying to keep his head still. "A spell for removing a restraining ring?" Twilight smiled. "Think about that one for a minute and get back to me." "I guess it is stupid," Shining Armor muttered. The pressure around his head suddenly lifted. "You got it." "No problem for the world's greatest thief," Twilight winked. Shining Armor straightened up and sighed. "I'm going to help you find whatever antidote you need and get out of here, but the second we're safe I'm slapping cuffs on you. Got it?" "Deal," Twilight said, shaking his hoof. "If you do manage to catch me, I'd rather take my chances in an Equestrian prison anyway." Shining Armor nodded and looked both ways. "Which way?" "Back the way we came. They wouldn't want to march all the gold past the prison cells." "...Gold?" "I'll explain later." Twilight quietly walked up the corridor. She moved like a cat, darting from one place to another, her hoofsteps landing as softly as snowflakes on the damp stone. Shining followed at a distance. Despite how sickly she looked, she was clearly in her element. It was the first time he'd gotten to see her like this. She held up a hoof in the standard Guard sign to halt as they reached an intersection, and went totally still against the wall of the corridor. Shining Armor tried to mimic her. Two sheep trotted by, going the other way and not even glancing at her. Shining Armor waited until she relaxed and motioned for him to form up to start breathing again. "How did you do that?" Shining Armor whispered. "They went right past you! I was a little down the hallway, but they were so close they could have touched you." "If you're really, really still, it's hard for people to notice you unless they're looking right at you," Twilight said. "You just kind of fade into the background." "What about invisibility spells?" "If you cast it badly, you're even more obvious," Twilight said. "And you never know if you did a good job with it until it's too late to fix anything." "There are a lot of things like that. Raising a foal, for example. Some of them turn out good, and others-" "This is not the time," Twilight muttered. "I am literally dying and I'm pretty sure a lecture isn't the cure." "How can you be sure? You've never tried listening to one before." "Shiny, even Mom doesn't guilt trip me like this." "No, she encourages you instead, which is even worse." "That's because she respects that I'm trying to enjoy my life instead of spending it doing paperwork and chasing after shadows! I do keep track of you, bro, and you think I'm responsible for about twice as many heists as I am! This is why you can't get a marefriend!" Twilight turned to yell at him, ignoring how much noise they were making. "I've got a marefriend!" "Is she a fifty-page form for requisitioning more halberd polish?" Twilight snapped. "You're both going back to your cells!" A sheep said, threatening them with a spear, coming around the corner and trying to look imposing. Twilight and Shining Armor turned to him, and he was flung far down the corridor by the resulting double-blast of magical power. "My marefriend is a very nice lady and you would approve of her," Shining Armor said, after a moment of silence. Blasting someone into unconsciousness had a wonderful way of defusing an argument. "Maybe I'll try stealing her from you," Twilight snorted, turning away from him and stepping over the sheep. She stopped for a moment to make sure he was alive, then snapped his spear before moving on. "That would never..." Shining Armor rubbed his chin. "...It would probably never happen. I think." He felt a bead of sweat drip from his chin. He didn't want to think about that too much. He was abruptly aware of the sheer number of nights he'd spent away from her, and the dates that he'd been late for or forgotten because he got caught up in a case. "I could give you some tips." "I don't need tips. We're very happy. And dedicated to our jobs." "Oh, I see how it is. She's another guard, isn't she?" Twilight smirked, glancing back at Shining Armor. "Isn't that against regulations? "It's not a guard-" Shining Armor started. Twilight held up a hoof. "Shh! Quiet. Do you smell that?" Shining Armor raised his nose and sniffed at the air. There was something acrid and metallic lingering over the dank faint rot of the dungeon, like copper coins dissolving in vinegar. "What is that?" "Alchemy lab," Twilight whispered, excited. She started running towards the strong smell, before stopping and turning around, confused. "It's coming from right around here, but there's no door..." "Could it be hidden in the walls?" "No, we're thinking too two-dimensionally," Twilight said. "You wouldn't run a precision lab in a place this damp. But you might have..." She looked up. There was a grate in the ceiling "Drainage." Fluttershy carefully put the basket of eggs down on the stained wooden table. She didn't like this part of her job. They were only eggs, but... She pulled back the cloth covering them for a moment and blinked against the glare before concealing them again. "At least it's for a good cause," Fluttershy whispered. "Just lift!" said a voice, grunting and frustrated. Fluttershy blinked and looked around. The room was empty, but it had definitely come from nearby. "I am lifting! Stop stepping on my horn!" Said a second, more masculine voice. "I-if you're a ghost, I'm very sorry for intruding! I didn't mean to disturb your eternal unrest!" Fluttershy whimpered. "Wait a minute... Fluttershy, right?" "Oh no! The ghosts know my name!" Fluttershy gasped, covering her mouth. "I'm not a ghost! Over here!" A purple hoof appeared from the floor and waved. Fluttershy carefully padded over and looked down to see an excited, if tired, face. "D-Dusk Shine?" Fluttershy asked. "How did you get there? That's a drainage tunnel." "Technically it's a dungeon," she said. "Can you give me a hoof? I can open the grate but I can't lift myself up. I'm a little under the weather." "O-of course!" Fluttershy's wings twitched as she waited for the grate to swing open in an aura of pink magic, then helped Dusk Shine up, holding onto her for what was probably a little longer than was strictly necessary. "...Hello?" Asked the second voice. "Oh yeah, he probably needs help too," Dusk Shine said. A stallion jumped and grabbed the edge of the grate, trying to pull himself through at a bad angle and without any leverage. Dusk Shine helped tug him into the room, and Fluttershy felt herself deflate at the sight of the large, handsome stallion. "Is this your husband?" She asked. Dusk Shine snorted at that. "...Coltfriend?" Fluttershy tried. Dusk Shine laughed even harder. "Brother," the stallion corrected. "Shining Armor. Thank you for the help, miss." "I didn't know you had a brother, Miss Dusk Shine." Fluttershy sighed in relief. It was much easier dealing with a brother than a coltfriend. "...Dusk Shine?" Shining Armor raised an eyebrow and looked at his sister. "My real name is Twilight Sparkle," she said. "Sorry about the deception. I'm... not really a tea merchant. Sort of. I do own the company, I'm just not in sales. Sort of the opposite, really. Say, I don't suppose you have any antidote around here?" "Antidote?" Fluttershy blinked. "To what?" "Blue Lotus Extract, I think. No, wait, Purple. Definitely purple." Twilight nodded. "I'm pretty sure. At least as sure as Shining Armor is about his marefriend not cheating on him." Shining Armor groaned. Fluttershy tilted her head, puzzled. "Never mind. So how about that antidote?" "Well, um, Purple Lotus Extract... I don't really know much about that..." Fluttershy flew up to a small shelf of books carefully placed out of splash distance of anything on the benches or tables around the room. She selected a tome and paged through it. "Is this all yours?" Twilight asked, looking around at the beakers and jars. "Y-yes," Fluttershy nodded. "I've never been good at flying or weather magic, but I love taking care of animals. I learned alchemy in the Animal Care Academy. It's all just common sense and following recipes, like cooking." Fluttershy stopped at a page and read through it. "Did you find something?" Twilight asked, hopefully. "There's no specific cure, but... this describes the mechanism of action for the poison. It looks like it causes muscle spasms by making the peripheral..." she trailed off. "You probably don't need to know the details. I think I can help with a combination of painkillers and light muscle relaxants. They should bond more strongly to the..." She trailed off again, blushing. "You don't have to stop," Twilight said, smiling. "It's sexy when somepony saves my life. I want to hear all about it." "W-well then..." Fluttershy's blushed turned her cheeks bright red. "...then in that case... The sodium salts should have a stronger bond to the receptors than the poison, and the muscle relaxants will help counteract the paralytic effects and spasms until the poison works its way out of your body..." "I feel better already," Twilight said, an hour later. "You wouldn't believe how sore my back was." "That's just the painkillers," Fluttershy warned. "You're still weak and you need to heal. The pentazemin I gave you is a mild sedative and... somewhat psychotropic. Don't take more than I told you." "I won't," Twilight said. She hugged Fluttershy. "Thanks, hot stuff. You literally saved my life. I owe you." "Your brother said you were a thief." "I am not just a thief," Twilight Sparkle said, smiling and striking a pose. It was a little wobbly. "I am the greatest thief." "...Could you steal anything, even from here?" "Ah, I see where this is going," Twilight said. "You want me to spirit you away to somewhere you won't have to work in a dank little room. Well, since I already have to smuggle myself out, I don't see a problem sharing a boat with a beauty like you." "Stop flirting with her," Shining Armor said. "You're going to prison when we get back to Equestria." "He's just jealous," Twilight whispered. "I am not jealous." Shining Armor lifted the blanket over the basket of eggs and his eyes went wide as the room filled with a golden glow. "What the-" "Be careful!" Fluttershy flitted over and carefully replaced the blanket. "Those are extremely fragile." "What are they?" Shining Armor asked. "They're what I want help with," Fluttershy said. "I don't want you to smuggle me out. I mean, not that it wouldn't be nice. I want you to help me get the Faberge Birds somewhere better for them." "Faberge Birds?" Twilight looked at Shining Armor. He shrugged. "They're very rare and... I'll show you." Fluttershy walked to the door to the next room. She pointed to thick aprons hanging next to the door. "You'll have to put on these aprons before you come in. The lead lining will protect you against the sickness." "The sickness?" Shining Armor looked at Twilight, very unsure about where this was going. "They're beautiful creatures, but they require very specific handling." Fluttershy pulled one of the heavy garments on. "They're the reason for all of this. Lord Rust says they're the most valuable thing on the island." Twilight's eyes lit up. Maybe things were going her way after all. "I'd love to see your birds~"