Just a pony who wrote some horrible stories.
A simple crossover between FiM and Star Wars. Reunited with her friends, Twilight and the others set out to save Rainbow Dash from a horrible gangster. Little do they know, the Empire has begun construction on a new battle station that could spell the end of the rebellion. Twilight must face her greatest fears in order to stop the Empire and save the galaxy.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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love star wars, but personally, i think my movie fanfic was a teeeeny bit better
no offence.
52245
I've never seen Saving Private Ryan, so your fic will likely be lost on me, but I'm sure you did a great job on it.
52248 thanks, yours was very accurate! I recommend Private Ryan, btw
This is the ENTIRE movie just with ponies replacing the characters. The only things that are changed or new are just anything required so the logic still makes sense and certain phrasing here and there. The characterization doesn't match the ponies all that well because it's just the Star Wars characters. This could very easily be split into at least ten different parts; 20,000+ words is too long to have in a single chunk, I read this with my fanfic group motoring through the large action-describing paragraphs for two hours and only got about a fifth through it. Without chapters, it can be extremely difficult to gauge just how long a fic like this will take.
When I went into this, I was expecting a crossover, ponies meet star wars, but this is just Star Wars, the same, but just with the cast replaced. Scene-for-scene. I'd rather just watch the movie. It's not that you can't write a fic that's the plot of the movie, but changing the plot around a little and making more references to the show and switching up the dialogue and actions to suit the characters even better would be a much more enjoyable read. Crossovers are best when they're either "what would this character do differently if they were in this work of fiction" or "what would it be like if these characters met the ponies somehow", not "let's just do this but with ponies".
I'm sorry if it's blunt, but I've gotta express my opinion. From an English point, though, your fic is quite well-written, so the grammar Nazi in me is at least pleased. Just maybe bear this in mind in the future. Even if you've got it all pre-written in one solid go, release it in chapters so people can pick points to stop reading and pick up more conveniently. Also, releasing in chapters is a good way to improve yourself and get feedback from people on what could be improved. I hope you do keep this in mind and put a little more creativity and originality into whatever you write next.
52411
Thank you for your feedback. I actually wrote this fic some time ago. It was my first attempt at writing fan fiction, so I wasn't quite sure how to go about crossovers at that point. I wasn't lying when I said 'simple crossover'. Also, I realized that the lack of chapters would be a problem about as soon as they were finished being published, though, since these are old fics, I didn't think it was really worth the time to go back and fix them. I was debating not uploading these at all, but some people seemed to like them, so I thought 'why not?'. Hopefully the stories I upload in the future will be better to your tastes. Again, thank you for providing your opinion in a calm, respectful way. I do appreciate feedback, even negative feedback, as long as there is a reason for it. If I ever write another crossover, I will keep your words in mind. Also, I too am a grammar nazi, and I combed through all three of these at some point in the past looking for typos, so I can appreciate that as well.
52613 haha, excellent, thanks to you too for your polite response. I'll let my reading group know what you told me.
Very well written. Lovely use of language. I agree in part with Bronymike in the sense that it is a little bit copy pasted from the original, but I've read your reasons why. Good job on this. Especially as it was one of your first fanfics. Ditto to the previous story. Thoroughly enjoyed reading about an old favourite in a new way
Also, seems that haters are really out to hate on this story. Judge it on the writing people! 0.5 star ratings shouldn't be given for no good reason! Needs moar love up in here!
well ive just finish reading al 3 parts and i can safly say for some of the characters yuo could of used different ones, like for example yoda could of been a cuty mark crusader due to the smallness of yoda, lando should of been fluttershy , shes really more of a freind to rainbow than gilda was.
Are you going to make episodes 1 through 3? If you are, can Shinning Armor and Cadence be in it? I would also love it if Chrysalis was Darth Maul and King Sombra can be Count Dooku.
I see it
twilight as Luke skywalker
rainbow dash as han solo
spike as chew