//------------------------------//
// Love Boat Part Two! - Reception 
// Story: Twilight the Third 
// by MagnetBolt 
//------------------------------//

Twilight tossed a card down onto the table sullenly. She hadn't been lucky with anything since losing Rarity.

"Raise you three," Gilda said, pushing a few bits into the center of the table. Twilight looked at the cards in her hoof. She could barely focus on them, the numbers and symbols swimming in her eyes. She knew that it wasn't good enough, though.

"I fold," Twilight said, throwing her cards down. "You're a terrible dealer, Gilda. I haven't won a single hand."

"You're barely even playing," Gilda retorted. "What, you can't bluff your way out of only having a pair of threes? I remember you used to be able to pull a win even when the cards you were holding were from a completely different deck." The griffon shook her head and took the cards, shuffling them a few times.

"My heart's just not in it, these days," Twilight sighed. She grabbed the bottle on the table and took a long drag, or at least tried. She glanced at it. Empty.

"You mean Rarity isn't in it," Gilda corrected. "You gotta let it go, dweeb. Find some other mare to steal all your bits. Heck, even Maud's been seeing Trixie on the side."

"She has?" Twilight blinked.

"You know she has," Gilda rolled her eyes. "Otherwise we couldn't be talking about it."

Before Twilight could figure out what that meant, there was a knock on the door. Gilda got up and walked over, tossing the cards onto the table to land in a messy pile.

"Must be the pizza," she said, unlocking it. "Took them long enough - they're not getting a feathering tip for being this late-" Before she could pull it open, the door swung in with force, hitting her hard enough to send her flying into a chair, breaking the cheap, half-rotten wood. Royal guards piled in, pinning her down.

"Gilda!" Twilight gasped, getting up. Her reactions were slow, like she was moving through molasses.

"Run, you idiot!" Gilda yelled. Twilight teleported past the window, dropping down into the dark street below. Spotlights burst into light, focused on her, the flare so bright that it stopped her in her tracks, blinded and pinned in place by surprise.

"Stop right there, criminal scum!" Yelled a very familiar voice. As her eyes adjusted to the glare, she made out Shining Armor standing behind a barricade a dozen paces away. She also saw the score of ponies with crossbows leveled at her.

"W-what in Tartarus-" Twilight whispered.

"You don't have anywhere to run, Twilight!" Shining Armor yelled. "You either come peacefully or we can do things the hard way! I'm done chasing you around!"

"You're really going to shoot me if I don't give up? I'm your sister!"

"Ready," Shining Armor ordered. "Aim..."

Twilight teleported again, though her magic was already strained. She'd had to teach herself teleportation, and getting any kind of distance from the spell took a lot of effort, and two teleports, one after another, was like doing a hundred yard dash and then being forced to run it again without a break. She ended up a block over, and stumbled as she ended up a few paces above the ground, her aim thrown by lack of preparation and panic. There was a safe house not too far from here. If she just got there without being followed, she could hide until things blew over, then rescue Gilda, then figure out what to do next. Leave the country?

She threw a quick spell to make sure she wasn't being looked at, then ducked through a doorway. Inside, there was a bare, abandoned room, with dust and cobwebs over everything. She went to the back and pulled open a secret door hidden in the brickwork, revealing a back room stocked with enough canned food and bottled water to keep a few ponies going for a couple of weeks.

"I wondered how long it would take you to get here," Rarity said, when Twilight walked in. She was sitting in one of the chairs, stroking a white cat. "You really do need to decorate, darling. The charm is cute, though, replacing the dust every time the door is closed."

"Rarity?" Twilight asked, cautiously.

"Princess Rarity," she corrected. "The title matters. The title was everything, as you'll remember."

"I remember," Twilight whispered.

"Which is exactly the problem, darling," Rarity continued. "You remember all sorts of things. As an example, you remember that I am not an honest mare. Since I'm rather keen on leaving that life behind, I need to tighten up a few loose ends."

"You told Shining Armor where me and Gilda were," Twilight said, frozen in place.

"Gilda and I," Rarity corrected. "He also apprehended Maud Pie and Trixie Lulamoon. Trixie will likely get off, assuming I can't plant evidence to ensure she doesn't. Maud, though... I'm afraid she's just so dangerous that they had to shoot to kill. A tragedy." Rarity smiled slightly.

Twilight felt the pit of her stomach drop to the floor. "You can't do this."

"It's surprisingly easy! I've arranged with the right ponies to make sure that Gilda resists arrest. She won't have a chance to tell anypony about what I've done."

"And you're telling me about all of this," Twilight said, her hooves still locked in place.

"Well, dear, I don't expect you to live long enough to do anything about it." She raised her hoof, holding a crossbow. "It's not something I could trust Shining Armor to do on his own, but I've never been afraid to get my hooves dirty - something that, soon, nopony will know about me."

"Please, Rarity," Twilight begged. "Don't do this! I love-"

The crossbow went off with a sharp twang, and everything went black.






Episode 10
Love Boat Part Two! - Reception





Twilight woke up with a pounding headache. She groaned and rolled off her cot onto the deck of the ship. This did not help her headache, and a sudden bout of nausea that sent her running to the head, voiding everything inside her.

"I'm not gonna let that happen," Twilight said, between coughs. She grabbed a glass of water and cleaned out her mouth. "I'm gonna steal Rarity back if it's the last thing I do!"





"I'm very impressed," Rarity said, at breakfast. "He's been a perfect gentlecolt. Part of me expected him to be a lout." By mutual decision, she'd managed to get away from Blueblood for a bit to engage in the most important sport of the rich and famous - gossip. Not to say that those who weren't rich and famous didn't gossip, but they also generally had things to talk about that weren't trivial. Once you were rich enough, you could pay other people to worry about those things and focus your attention on being absolutely scandalized because the mare across the room was wearing cubic zirconica instead of diamond.

"Blueblood is always careful around those whom he is trying to impress," Noblesse Oblige said, waving for a waiter to get her a new glass of sangria, which was very much like wine with fruit in it but, unlike wine, totally acceptable to drink at breakfast. Rarity had managed half a dozen glasses already, and was starting to feel slightly better about her situation.

"And not terribly careful around those who he does not care about," Fleur said, shaking her head. "You and he must have been courting for some time, no? I am surprised you did not know this about him."

"I've barely spoken to him before," Rarity admitted. "I've only met him in passing, though he has been showing up quite often of late."

"So you are not... secret lovers?" Fleur asked.

"No," Rarity said, flatly. "Nor lovers of any sort. Not until the wedding night, anyway, I suppose. But that's hardly secret."

"So he's been polite to you," Princess Cadance cut in, all eyes turning to her. "And asked you to marry him when you barely know him."

"Well, yes, your highness," Rarity said.

Cadance tapped her chin. "That is a bit unusual, even for him."

"He said that he wanted to strike while the iron was hot, such as it is," Rarity said. "I believe he was afraid somepony else was going to make a move on me." She pursed her lips, leaving unsaid the fact that she had expected somepony else to make a move on her too.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you two should get to know each other," Cadance suggested. "Before you get married, that is. Rushing things can be a recipe for disaster."

"Of course, darling. I'm thinking a fall wedding, the end of summer at the latest. More than enough time to make arrangements for a royal wedding and get to know each other at the same time."





"You want to get married in three days?!" Rarity gasped.

"Of course," Blueblood said, raising an eyebrow. His tone indicated that he wasn't even sure why this was an issue. "We'll already have the best and brightest of Equestria's noble families here on the ship, and the Captain can perform the ceremony."

"But there's not nearly enough time! I need a dress, and we have to plan things-"

"Planning things is for lesser ponies," Blueblood explained. "I, and soon, you, are royalty. We just declare that we want something done, and it happens. Servants exist to make sure we don't have to consider the details."

"I suppose that's at least partly true, but you must understand, dear. I am a designer. I need to have a dress. A fabulous dress!"

Blueblood sighed. "Thankfully, I did anticipate that. I had my servants pack a few dresses. All of them were worn by royalty, so they should be to whatever standard you're imagining."

"That's very thoughtful," Rarity said, carefully. "But I want to design my own dress."

"We can come to a compromise," Blueblood said, after a moment of consideration. "When we return to Canterlot we'll need to have wedding photographs taken for the press, and a public reception. You'll have a few days to design a dress for that. As far as the public is concerned, they'll never see you in anything but the dress you want. In fact, we can even have a second ceremony. One private ceremony here on the boat to make it official, then another in the castle itself. I'm sure my aunt would be happy to preside over it."

"Your aunt- Princess Celestia?" Rarity felt herself starting to swoon.

"Exactly." Blueblood smiled.

"I... suppose that would be acceptable," Rarity admitted. "But why do we need to have a private ceremony here at all, then?"

"Because in business, it's important to do things quickly," Blueblood said. He trotted over to his desk and took out a scroll. "And a wedding, especially with nobility, is a very complicated business dealing."

"Well... yes," Rarity nodded slowly. "That was the original point of arranged marriages."

"Just so!" Blueblood smiled. "I am glad we are on the same page, Miss Belle. And of course, we have to be equally careful as we would with a business arrangement. I had my lawyers draft up a document for both of us to sign."

"A document?" Rarity asked, the dizzy feeling starting to fade and a suspicious part of her mind coming alive. She was a very experienced businessmare, and more to the point, she was a crook. She knew contracts, and was suspicious of anything requiring a signature.

"Of course. It concerns the transfer of titles and property. What it boils down to is that you will agree to marry me, and as long as certain conditions are met, both of us get what we want."

"What sort of conditions?" Rarity asked, her expression fixing in a frown.

"It specifies a minimum number of public appearances together per annum, at least one heir - though I am of course more open-minded than my father, so I don't care about the gender - and joint ownership of your assets. No need to worry about being faithful as long as the heir is genuine and your partners are clean."

"And what do I get out of this... arrangement?" Rarity asked, her voice chilly.

"You'll be a Princess," Blueblood said, as if that was all that mattered. "And you'll have the support of the crown in your endeavors and meetings with Princess Celestia herself. It's unusual that we would elevate somepony with no ancestral title at all, but it does play well in the press and having your assets would ensure that we don't have to liquidate any of my family holdings."

"Your holdings..." Rarity looked at the dresses. The old dresses. The ring on her horn. The antique ring. Blueblood's suit jacket and tie were of that timeless style that could have been a hundred years old and simply well-made. "You don't have any bloody money!" She snapped, her accent falling for a moment.

"Don't be like that," Blueblood cautioned her. "You're getting a lot out of this as well. A royal title, for example. You'll be even more successful once ponies realize they could be buying dresses designed by a Princess! You wanted summer homes, private yachts, jewelry? I've inherited all of those and more."

"But you can't afford anything new."

"The trick about being rich is that you can buy things that last long enough to see you through the lean years," Blueblood said. "Wine lasts centuries if stored well. A ten-bit suit lasts a few years and wears out. A hundred-bit suit will be worn by three generations."

"And then when the lean years come you find somepony rich and leech off of them?" Rarity asked, her voice low.

"Not just somepony rich," Blueblood corrected her, stepping closer and lifting up her chin with a hoof. "I've been watching you because I wanted to see what kind of pony you were. What I saw was a sophisticated pony who would fit in perfectly with the nobility if given a chance. Sign this-" He lifted the scroll with his magic. "And you've got a first-class ticket to the top of the social strata."

"And if I don't?"

"Then the wedding is off," Blueblood said, simply. "And I will be a gentlestallion about things and be very polite about it in public. Later, in private, I will make sure that nopony ever buys one of your dresses again. I apologize, but I won't take 'no' for an answer."

Rarity shook with rage, but said nothing.

"Take a few hours to think it over," Blueblood said, smiling and stepping back. "The scroll will be here when you're ready to sign it."

Rarity stormed out of the room. Blueblood adjusted his tie and poured himself a drink.

"I give her two hours before she comes to her senses," he said, looking down at his gin. "Then, she's mine."





"An honest pony would try talking to her," Twilight decided. "Maybe even challenge Blueblood to a duel for her honor. It'd be exactly like all those awful romance books she leaves lying around when we're lying low or waiting for a mark."

Twilight tapped her quill against the paper on her tiny desk in her cabin. A cruise ship like this didn't really have any bad cabins, per say, but it was certainly less well-appointed than Blueblood's. It was the kind of cabin that was only used for sleeping in, and as little as possible of that.

"Since I am not an honest pony, I won't do that," Twilight said. "What I'll do is, I'll disguise myself as Princess Cadance, then tell Rarity that Blueblood doesn't love her and that she should totally bang Twilight! Brilliant! I just need a good line..."

Twilight started scribbling up a more detailed plan when the door to the cabin opened.

"He doesn't love me and only wants me for my money!" Rarity wailed, as she dramatically entered and threw herself on the floor, not forgetting to dramatically close the door to keep anyone from dramatically listening.

Twilight looked down at her plan.

"That's not supposed to happen until step ten."

Rarity looked up at Twilight from where she'd thrown herself to the floor. "I am trying to have a moment, Twilight Sparkle! You're supposed to comfort me and tell me that everything will be okay!" She stood up and snatched the papers from Twilight's grasp. "What is this?"

"It's, um... a plan to..." Twilight hesitated.

"A plan to win me back?" Rarity asked, quietly as she looked at what Twilight had written. "This is... an awful plan. Where would you even get a hovercraft full of eels?"

"Well, um..." Twilight blushed. "I hadn't worked out all the kinks yet-"

Rarity hugged her. "I'm sorry, Twilight. I was an idiot for saying yes to Blueblood. He doesn't care about me."

"I do," Twilight said, quietly.

"I know," Rarity sighed. She pulled away and took the platinum ring off of her horn. "This isn't nearly as attractive now, not even with the title that comes with it."

Twilight took it from her and got down on her knees. Rarity's eyes went wide.

"Rarity Belle, will you do me the honor of being my partner in crime and help me humiliate Blueblood and take him for all he's worth?"

"Oh darling," Rarity said, smiling widely and blushing. "I thought you'd never ask."





"Cadance," whispered the waitress giving Cadance a mojito. "I need your help."

Cadance lifted up her sunglasses and looked at the purple maid, who had a false mustache on. Well, that or they kept a pet caterpillar on their upper lip.

"Twi-" Cadance stopped herself and looked at the lounge chair next to hers. Shining Armor was snoring. She waited a moment to make sure they were real snores (she could tell - sometimes he pretended to be asleep and did paperwork under the covers), then leaned over closer to Twilight.

"You need my help?" Cadance asked, quietly.

"To get Rarity away from Blueblood," Twilight specified.

Cadance sighed. "You know I can't do that. I'm the Princess of Love. I can't just go and break up a relationship. Oh, don't get me wrong." She held up a hoof. "I can see some of the problems a mile away. But I can't interfere in every relationship I have concerns about. Ponies need to be free to make mistakes and learn from them."

"Blueblood is using her for her money," Twilight said, flatly. "And he's blackmailing her. If she doesn't go along with it, he's going to ruin her reputation by bad-mouthing her to prospective clients."

Cadance took her sunglasses off entirely.

"Okay. You've got my attention."





"When you said you liked me for my assets, I thought you meant something else entirely," Rarity noted. "One of the double entendres that my friends are fond of, perhaps."

"No, I was quite literal," Blueblood said, pleasantly. It was amazing, the kind of things he could say while smiling and keeping a nice tone. "Though you aren't altogether bad looking. My accountants were starting to push me towards Lady Lucky Penny."

"Isn't she having her hundredth birthday this year?" Rarity asked.

"Yes, soon she'll be a whole Bit," Blueblood muttered.

"Were you going to blackmail her, too?"

"I'm not sure why you're making this difficult," Blueblood said. 

"I'm not being as difficult as I could be," Rarity said. "We're having a nice dinner together in public. The privacy shield is a nice touch, as long as nopony can read lips." A thin, faintly glowing line encircled their table, muffling sounds going in or out of the area. Apparently Blueblood wasn't entirely useless with magic.

"You get more out of the arrangement than I do. You'll have a title, holdings, freedom to do whatever you want with your life. I don't care if you have lovers on the side, or some strange hobbies, or whatever little flaws you have. We might even learn to get along. My mother and father did. At the end they even loved each other."

"At the end," Rarity snorted. "That's a bit backwards, isn't it?"

"That's a matter of perspective. They spent their prime being able to indulge in whatever they wanted, and they were there for each other at the end. They fought like demons, of course, but friends do that."

"I don't fight with my friends."

"No?" Blueblood looked surprised. "They must be rather dull friendships."

"Oh, we have moments of excitement. Usually our energy is directed elsewhere."

"Ah," Blueblood's expression twisted into a smirk. "I understand. I have a few friends like that, myself."

"I doubt it," Rarity snorted. "They're unique people." She sighed and touched her earring. "Well, we might as well get this over with before dinner ends and we have to mingle and give ponies the news."

"You've come to your senses, have you?" Blueblood smiled.

"I'm willing to... discuss it," Rarity said, cautiously. "You want me to sign a contract, essentially, yes? I never sign a contract without going over the terms."

"Good," Blueblood nodded. "Now you're thinking with your head. The basic terms of the contract are that we'll share assets and accounts. There are expectations as to how many public appearances we put on per year, your first foal is required to be my heir, and so forth."

"I'm amazed a contract like that is legal."

"Nearly anything is as long as it's signed," Blueblood noted. "I'm told there's legal precedent for it that stretches back, well, as far as things stretch back."

"And if I decide not to marry you, despite this very generous offer of you taking half of my money in exchange for a title?"

"I think I've made that clear."

"Humor me, darling," Rarity said, elbow on the table. The slight rudeness distracted Blueblood for a moment.

"If you have a lapse in judgment and decide not to wed, then I will inform my many business associates that you are less than cooperative and that I would consider it a favor if they ceased any business with you." Blueblood picked up his wine, swirling the glass around. "I might not have a lot of liquid finance, but I do have a significant amount of capital on the favors I'm owed. You'd lose considerably more than half of your profits, I wager."

"Thank you," Rarity said. "You've made this much easier."

"A threat does that," Blueblood agreed.

"It certainly does," Cadance said, as she stepped into the privacy zone, dispelling it. The noise of the room had quieted to nothing, and all eyes were on Blueblood.

"Darling," Rarity said, touching her ear. "Did you know that you can enchant items, like, say, earrings, to transmit sound? It makes it easy to give directions to models on the runway, or in this case to let a few interested parties hear our discussion."

"I heard everything," Cadance sighed. "Bluey, I thought you were better than this."

"Nothing I said or did was illegal," Blueblood said, shrugging.

"Things can be wrong without being illegal," Cadance said. "I'm going to make sure that little threat of yours comes to nothing, even if I have to take it up with Celestia."

"It is simply how things are done, and while you might personally dislike it, there are plenty of ponies here who understand." Blueblood stood up. "I'll be taking my ring back."

"No, I think I'll be taking it," said a nondescript purple maid, taking off her false mustache to reveal that she had in fact been Twilight Sparkle all along, waiting for the right moment to strike!

Her magical aura overpowered Blueblood's as he tried to grab the platinum ring, and she quickly had it in hoof.

"Very nice. And it looks like I don't have to worry about feeling bad about taking somepony's wedding ring."

"Somepony stop her!" Blueblood yelled. The crowd in the room murmured but didn't make a move to assist him. "Useless... I'll have to take care of this myself, then." He frowned and huffed at the mass of ponies simply watching.

"Twilight! I'll get you, you criminal scum!" Shining Armor yelled, jumping onto a table.

"At least somepony here has common sense," Blueblood said, pleased. "Stop her and I'll put in a good word for you with my aunt."

"Looks like I need a beautiful hostage," Twilight said, pulling Rarity over with her magic, holding a wineglass over her head. "Nopony move or her mane will be ruined and it'll take three showers to get the wine out of her coat."

"You monster!" Rarity gasped.

"That's going too far, Twilight!" Shining Armor declared, keeping his distance.

Blueblood looked at them in disbelief. "It's a bloody glass of wine! Who cares?! It's not like it's a crossbow to her head!" Not that he would have particularly cared about that, either. "I order you to seize her!"

"You can't order me around," Shining Armor said. "I'm off duty."

"You- I-" Blueblood sputtered. "Do your job!"

"Off duty," Shining Armor repeated.

"Princess Celestia will be getting a full report about this!" Blueblood screamed, his face starting to turn purple with rage.

"And now we sneak away," Twilight whispered. She threw the glass of wine at Blueblood. Unfortunately, Shining Armor was just a fraction of a second too late, and the wine splashed onto Blueblood's face and jacket.

Rarity and Twilight took off, Twilight giggling.

"You could at least try to make it look like I'm a hostage," Rarity muttered. "There are going to be a lot of questions."

"Cadance will help with those. You'd be amazed at what ponies will believe when a Princess is telling them what happened." She stopped Rarity. "Here we go! This is our stop."

"A lifeboat?" Rarity asked, looking at it.

"Take a look in the supply chest."

Rarity hopped into the small boat. "Wine, crackers, cheese... and I notice our luggage is under this tarp."

"Always be prepared for a getaway," Twilight winked. "Might have accidentally grabbed a few extra bags from Blueblood's room."

"You think of everything," Rarity smiled. She leaned over the side of the lifeboat and pulled Twilight into a kiss.





Shining Armor watched from around the corner as the kiss ended, and Twilight got in the boat before lowering it to the calm ocean below.

"You're letting her get away that easily?" Cadance asked, surprised.

"I did mention I'm off duty, didn't I?" Shining Armor said.

"And it had nothing to do with the fact that she's obviously smitten with that mare?"

"I have no idea what you mean," Shining Armor said. "Anyway, these are international waters. Jurisdiction gets a little shaky out here, especially since I'm on vacation. It'd be pointless to arrest her and then have to let her go with a slap on the wrist because the paperwork didn't check out."

"Oh, of course," Cadance agreed.

"And I can't help but wonder just how much a certain Princess of Love helped with this little heist."

"You know, Shiny, Celestia told me something once." She smiled widely. "When the Princess does it, that means it's not illegal."





Twilight strained, and the top popped off of the bottle of champagne, flying out in an arc and landing in the waves. Rarity held out two tin cups, and Twilight poured for her.

"I have to admit this whole trip has been more stressful than I would have liked," Rarity said.

"There are a few ways to relieve the stress," Twilight said. "Drinking isn't a bad start, but I'm told there are some very effective massage techniques." She winked.

"And you're not worried about being interrupted?"

"Gilda and Maud have been trailing the cruise ship, but they're waiting for flares. It'll be a few hours before it's dark enough to use them."

"We should make the best of the time we have," Rarity said, slowly, looking over her shoulder and giving Twilight a come-hither look that would have made a stone blush.

"You mean, um-"

"Get that jacket off, darling, before I take if off with my teeth."





"Think we'll even get any screen time?" Gilda asked, relaxing in the sun on the deck of the small fishing boat she and Maud had borrowed.

"Probably not," Maud replied calmly, meditating in a circle of standing stones. A wave hit the boat, and several of them fell over. "...I don't like boats."