Canterlot, the jewel of Equestria. That is what the pony scholars have called it for decades. At least, I think it is. Maybe not. Honestly, I didn’t pay a lot of attention back when I was in school. It wasn’t my thing.
What was my thing was living, working, and having fun in Canterlot. For me, it is the best city in the kingdom, and I’d already lived in a couple of others during my life.
Some ponies prefer the modern cities like Manehattan and Baltimare with their tall, sleek buildings. Others like the cottages and country living of Tall Tale and Vanhoover. If you ask me, though, the old-world charm of Canterlot just can’t be beat.
Who would have imagined that ponies would literally build a city right on the face of a mountain and, over hundreds of years, all agree to never change its architectural style? It was like living in history and, in this city, history was always being made.
That was because Canterlot was where you’d find the Royal Palace, seat of Equestrian power, and home to the alicorns. That is alicorn with an ‘S’. Until recently we’d only had the one, but after the last Summer Sun Celebration, things changed. Now we had two, and it was my job to help defend them. I am—
“Lieutenant Day!” came a firm and familiar voice from off to the side.
I quickly turned and snapped to attention, my eyes meeting the stern, steel grey ones of Vice Colonel Glamour. As far as unicorn officers went, she was one of the toughest. It was her mental fortitude and demeanor that commanded respect, not her physical prowess. She was tall, lanky, and attractive. Those are not the qualities a pony imagines when it comes to great warriors.
“Yes, ma’am!” I replied.
Glamour approached me, her pink-and-white mane in a bun so tight I was sure the pain of it was what made her so cranky. “You’re staring off into space again. Do you think the Royal Guard employs you to just stand here and stare off this wall? I can find fillies that will do that.”
My left eye started to twitch slightly beneath the rim of my golden helmet as smart-mouthed responses fluttered through my mind. Glamour did not appreciate those so, as carefully as I could, I replied, “Yes, ma’am. As the section commander responsible for this wall during these hours, it was my understanding that I was meant to remain here and scan the horizon for possible threats.”
The vice colonel’s lips pressed into a thin smile. We stared at each other a moment before she gave a subtle, begrudging nod. “Very well. Just ensure that your staring doesn’t turn into daydreaming. I need you alert. Understood?”
“Yes, ma’am, understood!” I replied sharply.
“Carry on,” she said as she trotted by me.
For an uptight, spindly unicorn, Glamour had a nice rump. It wasn’t as full and nice as mine, but it was certainly worth the risk of getting caught to sneak a peek. It served her right, too! She frequently wore a uniform instead of armor, and that left the flank exposed. A good guard never exposed her flank to anypony other than friendlies.
As I stared at the cream-colored hind end that was growing increasingly distant from me, I sensed a presence approaching me from the other side. When I looked, it was Radiant Orchid, a sergeant in Princess Celestia’s House Guard. She was also an acquaintance of mine.
“You’re going to get caught doing that one day,” Radiant said, but there wasn’t a lot of conviction in her voice.
I shrugged. “Probably so, but when it does happen, it will be because the booty is so amazing that I won’t even by sly about it. That will be worth it. Anyway, what’s up, pink stuff?”
Radiant just shook her head. “Very mature. If you weren’t a lieutenant, I wouldn’t put up with your snarky mouth.”
“Yes, you would. You like me,” I said with a grin. Who needed maturity? These ponies were too stuffy.
“Don’t be so sure about that. You hardly know me.” Radiant sighed. “As far as to the question of ‘what is up,’ the princess has requested to have tea with you when your shift ends. I’m still not sure what she sees in you, but you always seem to amuse her. I guess that is your talent.”
My ears wiggled. “She sees a pony that knows when to let her mane down and just have fun around her. All of the rest of you treat her like some sort of living goddess that needs to be put up on a shelf.”
The older mare’s brow arched beneath the rim of her helmet. “You do realize she basically is and that high shelf keeps her safe, right?”
I shrugged. “And she’s also a pony. You can tell her that I’ll be there, but she is cutting into my date time. I’ll expect it to be worth my while.”
Radiant Orchid abruptly turned around and started walking off, muttering, “I’m not telling her that.”
“Yes, you will! Yes, you will! I haven’t dismissed you, Sergeant! That’s an order!” I called after her.
The mare was already gone, leaving me alone with my own guards, who softly chuckled and pretended as if the whole scene hadn’t happened. They were accustomed to my antics, but they also knew that when I meant business, it was business time.
Business time didn’t come to my command too often. Generally, the worst we ever saw was a drunk pegasus flying too close to the wall. One time, a gryphon tourist group had flocked to one of the towers I oversaw. It had looked like a small invasion and we’d reacted accordingly. All in all, the misunderstanding led to ruffled feathers and hurt feelings.
In an effort to avoid an international incident, Princess Celestia herself had come out to smooth their angry beaks. She set them up with a private tour of the palace and even gave them a gift card for the palace souvenir shop.
“Psst!”
The princess was super nice like that but, in my opinion, we’d done our jobs correctly. When twenty-seven gryphons storm a tower, that looks an awful lot like an attack! Sure, they’d had cameras and autograph books, but they should have gone through the gate.
“Psst! Lieutenant!”
I mean, really! Surely even foreign tourists would know that you can’t just fly up to a palace. That b—
A pair of hooves grabbed my cheeks and turned my head down into the courtyard. “Get out of your head, girl, there he is!”
The not-exactly-professional address had come from my secretly favorite guard: Ice Blossom. She and I had gotten close. Probably closer than a supervisor should with a subordinate, but I couldn’t help it. She was fun.
In this instance, Sergeant Ice Blossom was doing an unofficial duty I’d assigned her: looking out for Silent Knight and making sure we got to watch him cross the courtyard to and from the gym.
When it came to stallions, he wasn’t the brightest or most socially accomplished. In fact, the few times we’d crossed paths, he’d only recognized me as a lieutenant, not the hot and eligible mare that I was. I wasn’t being subtle, either. Whenever I saw him, I’d prance by and shake my rump, but he never seemed to notice.
That didn’t stop Ice Blossom and I from looking, though. Whatever he lacked in mental acuity and social skills, he made up for in his body. The stallion practically lived in the gym, forging his heavy form into a perfect instrument of guardly goodness.
“I didn’t realize they made armor that large,” Ice Blossom whispered.
“Me either,” I whispered back. “He really is a big fella. I wish he was bright enough to catch a clue.”
Ice Blossom lightly pushed me with a turquoise hoof. “Move over, LT, he’s an enlisted pony. We’re not for you. Now, me? The brass isn’t going to mind if I happen to accidentally drop my head and come to a quick stop in front of him.”
Technically, she was correct. The Royal Guard didn’t exactly appreciate it when officers dated enlisted ponies. However, Silent Knight didn’t report to me, and I didn’t exactly want to date him in the traditional sense.
“Hush and let me enjoy this,” I hissed.
The big white stallion had clearly just finished his workout. I could tell even though he had his armor on. After a good round of physical training, he had a subtle swagger that we’d picked up on. Silent Knight would march his way across the courtyard, oblivious to the fact that almost every mare and some of the stallions were ogling him.
“It really is a shame he’s so dense,” Ice Blossom breathed wistfully.
“Yeah, well, you can’t get everything in a pony. Perhaps you should be less subtle?”
Ice Blossom turned to me with a smirk. “LT, I told him I was a dirty filly and invited him to take a shower with me. We ended up in the guard showers talking about the proper way to avoid the mud on the obstacle course. I’d have been furious if it hadn’t actually shaved six seconds off my time.”
My nose wrinkled as I tried not to laugh. “I’ll have to send him a thank-you note. Okay, the show’s over, go back to work.”
“Yes, ma’am!” she replied before hurrying off.
Yes, life was going quite well for me. A good command, plenty of eye candy, and a date now and then. It was for those reasons that I always had a bounce in my step and wiggle in my booty. That was how I patrolled for the remainder of my shift: bounce, wiggle, patrol, repeat!
That might not be the style for other officers, but for me it was a signature and I enjoyed all the looks it earned. It was all just part of the job. After all, nopony asks about paperwork when they’re busy staring at your rump.
I did my paperwork, too, but that was the least fun part of my day, so I usually tried to do it last before I handed off the wall to the lieutenant in command of the second shift. Today was no exception as I procrastinated on the paperwork until I couldn’t anymore.
That took up the rest of my work hours so when I finished that and handed over command of the wall, I trotted out of the office and on my way. The air was starting to get crisp and cool in the city. This high up in the mountain, it always felt like we were half a season ahead.
I left the wall, headed for the basement, and took a quick shower in the locker room. It wouldn’t be right to show up to tea mussed up and sweaty from standing in the sun for nine hours or so.
There was a certain level of mare care I did no matter what! First, wash the coat and mane. After that I’d throw on a little coat glitter, some makeup, and style my mane and tail into perfect form.
Only once all of that was done would I head up to Princess Celestia’s wing of the palace and make my way to her office.
As I trotted down the hallway towards the large wooden door, one of the golden-clad house guards toned, “Pass, please.”
“It’s me, Lieutenant Sunny Day, you know that. She invited me,” I replied, keeping a fake smile on my face.
The guard let out a slow sigh. “I know, Lieutenant. Pass, please.”
Bureaucracy bothered me. There wasn’t any point to this other than a guard following a checklist. I grumbled and reached into my small bag to pull out the badge. “Here you are.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant,” he said in a monotone voice before pushing the door open for me.
“Yup!” I tried to sound chipper but it took effort. There was no booty shaking for him as I walked into Princess Celestia’s office.
The princess was settled at her coffee table, looking down at a scroll she had spread out. Her sparkling, multicolored mane flowed in a non-existent wind as she went about what was otherwise a mundane activity. I really needed to learn that spell.
My horn lit and I used my own spell to shut the door behind me. It slammed harder than I’d intended and that resulted in a raised eyebrow from the princess.
“Something the matter, my little student?”
“Your guards are still treating me like some sort of threat and it makes me grumpy,” I huffed as I settled onto the pillow on the opposite side of her table. “Also, I’m not your little student!”
Princess Celestia tittered, her eyes falling back to the parchment in front of her. “They’re doing their job Sunny, you should understand that.” Though she kept her head down, her ears were focused on me. “I’m hurt. You don’t think of me as a teacher anymore?”
I set my hooves on the parchment and turned it around so that I could see what it was. Before I could read a single word, it was encircled in the glow of golden magic and gently pulled away.
“That isn’t for you, nosy,” the princess said before tapping on my nose with her hoof.
“I know, but you were paying it more attention than me and I’m like a cat. You just can’t do that to me,” I explained before setting my chin on the table. “And no, I don’t really see you as a teacher anymore. We haven’t had any lessons lately, just tea.”
The princess took a long breath and peered down at me. “Why did I invite you to tea again?”
“Because nopony else is brave enough to tell you like it is, or that you’ve got a spot on your coat, or that you’re not that great at poetry. Also, if this is tea, you’ve forgotten the most important part. I have no tea!”
Princess Celestia briefly looked down at her white coat and rolled her eyes when she realized I was kidding. She then tapped her chin with her hoof while her horn illuminated again, floating her favorite tea set towards us. “No, I’m not sure that is the reason. Please, try again.”
“Could it be that you think I’m cute? You must admit that I’m pretty cute. More than cute, I’m hot!” I lifted my head and drummed my hooves on the table as a teacup and saucer landed in front of me.
With a heavy sigh, the princess started pouring tea for me. “No, that definitely isn’t it. I know plenty of attractive ponies. In fact, I know the most attractive ponies in the whole kingdom.”
My jaw went slack and I gasped.
That yielded another laugh from the princess before she levitated two sugar cubes into my teacup. “Oh, don’t be so vain, Sunny. Surely you’re concerned with more than what ponies think of your looks.”
“Have you met me!” I squeaked before capturing the cup in my magic and bringing it to my mouth.
The tea was wonderful. Princess Celestia literally made the best tea of any pony I’d ever met. She had years of experience and each cup warmed the body and the spirit.
After a sip, I went on, “I’m a young mare in the prime of her life. I care. I care a lot! Surely you were a young mare at some point?” I paused, then leaned in. “Wait, were you ever a young mare? How old are you, anyway?”
A wry smile crossed the princess’s lips. “And you really think that is an appropriate question to ask me, your sovereign?”
I smiled slyly over the rim of my cup and scrunched my nose. “I think it is. If you wanted inappropriate, I could ask you when was the last time you snuggled a stallion.”
“You could ask, that is true. But that is none of your business. Just like my age. Suffice to say that I am old enough but not too old to remember what it is like to be a young mare.”
“Then you should understand,” I huffed before enjoying more of the delectable tea.
“You’re quite the cut-up today. In all seriousness, I would be sad if you didn’t think of me as your teacher. After all, there is so much more you could learn if you wanted to pursue the magical arts. It is clear that there is something special about you.”
That had to be the oldest, lamest pickup line I’d ever heard. I set one hoof on the table and leaned in just a bit, letting my voice drop. “I see. So, you want me to be your student?”
The princess nodded. “Yes, I thought that point was obvious.”
“And I’d wear a little student’s uniform?” I asked, grinning slyly. “Perhaps a blouse and a skirt? Some socks?”
Princess Celestia’s brow arched. “We don’t have a required uniform, but if you wanted to do that, it would be fine.”
Fine. Yes. I saw what she was after. “And if I was bad, you’d spank me with a ruler?”
“Sunny Day, you know very well that I don’t allow that kind of punishment in my school. That is ba— Oh, Sunny, no!” The princess sighed before setting a hoof on my forehead and pushing me back. “I’m being serious!”
“So, this isn’t a fantasy that we’re going to play out together?” I asked with a toothy grin.
“Not at all! The only fantasy is that I thought you might take your gift seriously and want to pursue it.” She huffed. “Do you really not want to?”
I shook my head. “Not right now, no. I’m happy being a royal guard and, besides, you know what kind of student I was.”
The princess idly stroked her chin with a hoof. “As I recall, a very dedicated and hardworking one after you got serious. One of my more tenacious ones, even if you didn’t get to enjoy the exact success you wanted. You did graduate from my school after all.”
She had me there. When the princess had been working with me, I’d been far better. I bit my lip and then shrugged. “I hope you won’t think less of me, but I’m just not interested right now. I mean, a thing happened, I used my gift, I saved you, and that is that. Maybe that’s all it was for?”
Princess Celestia shook her head. “We’ll never know if we don’t explore it, but it is your choice. I do have three requests of you, however, and I want you to take them seriously.”
I settled back onto my rump. “Three? What do I get if I do them?”
“My appreciation,” she said incredulously. “Is that not enough?”
“I mean, maybe. What does appreciation even mean? Is that like a back rub or a ‘get out of jail free’ card from a princess? I’m just saying, you want me to do some things for you and it is only fair that I get something. I mean, unless they’re little things.”
The princess’s ears twitched ever so slightly. Was I finally getting on her nerves? She was so patient, I had been wondering what her limit might be.
Finally, she said, “Yes, that is fair. I consider them little things. Perhaps you should find out what they are before demanding payment?”
“Deal!”
“Fine. First, I want you to stop one behavior. Could you please stop screaming ‘Ahhh, Nightmare Moon!’ every time Princess Luna walks by?” To emphasize her point, the princess threw her forehooves up and wiggled them.
I gasped. “What? Why! That’s our thing. She loves that!”
Princess Celestia’s head tilted. “What gave you that impression? She doesn’t love it at all! It hurts her feelings.”
Idly, I twiddled forehooves. “I just assumed if she didn’t like it, she’d smite me. I mean, after all, she’s Nightmare Moon.”
The princess took a slow, deep breath, her ear twitching again. “No, Sunny. She is Princess Luna, my little sister. How would you feel if every time a pony saw you, they screamed ‘Ahhh, Ms. Thunder Moon!’?”
You do one calendar and nopony ever lets you forget it. My nose scrunched. “Point taken. Fine, I’ll do that one for free, since it hurts her feelings and all.”
“Thank you. Item two. If you happen to see any more miasma or anything similar, you’ll come tell me immediately? Especially if it is anywhere near my sister.”
Spotting miasma was the special talent the princess had been talking about. For some reason, I seemed to be able to see evil… at least, I think it was evil. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good, since it had trapped Princess Celestia in a bubble and tried to take over the kingdom.
That wasn’t a fair ask, though, since it was almost the opposite of thing one! “You want me to spy on Nightmare Moon?!”
Princess Celestia’s wings ruffled. “I want nothing of the sorts! I said if you see miasma and if you see it around her, let me know! I didn’t suggest that I want you to go looking for it.”
“Fine!" I squawked.
“And she’s Princess Luna, not Nightmare Moon!”
Oops. That was going to be a hard habit to break. “Fine!”
"Fine," the princess repeated before staring at me, a thin little smile playing at her lips.
"What?"
"Third, you're going to forgive me."
My eyes narrowed. "For what?"
Princess Celestia's eyebrow arched and she grinned. "I thought you might enjoy a little school reunion. I also assumed you would agree to being my student again."
Reunion? I hadn't had a lot of friends at school. All of my friends were from Canterlot’s club and bar scene. Did she mean Apple Polish, my school advisor?
As if the moment had been set up in advance, the door to the office swung open and an annoying, familiar purple unicorn mare trotted in cheerfully. "Hello-o! I'm here!"
Twilight Sparkle! She invited Twilight Sparkle? Me and my rival in the same room? Miss snooty pants herself? The princess owed me big for this one!
"Hello, my faithful student! Thank you for coming on such short notice,” the princess said, then motioned a hoof at me. “Look who is here."
Twilight Sparkle turned to me and, for a moment, I could see the confusion in her perfect purple eyes. Her head titled and then she lit up. "Oh, of course! Sunny Dawn, from school!" she cheered before hurrying over and hugging me.
Sunny Dawn? Sunny Dawn! She knew exactly who I was. We’d gone to school together. We’d even hung out a little bit. We’d played spin the bottle together. I wouldn’t let her see she’d gotten to me, though.
My nose wrinkled and I corrected, "Sunny Day."
"Right, I'm sorry! My face was always in a book,” she replied, then added in a tone I didn’t care for, “I'm sure you know what that is like."
No, I really didn't! I kept my face buried in much more interesting places. I tried to keep my usual upbeat attitude in place as I tried to squirm out of her grip. She refused to let me go. "Studying, sure, sure. It seems Princess Celestia set up this little reunion for us, although I'm not completely certain why."
Princess Celestia nodded. "That I did. Twilight, did you know that Sunny Day is one of the most powerful fire unicorns I've seen in over a generation? I thought she might want to develop those and some more specific talents. Seeing as you're studying friendship and I am busy with Princess Luna's return, I was hoping she might want to learn with you.”
Twilight Sparkle gasped and squeezed me tighter. "You want to be study buddies? I would never have guessed that you were so powerful! All I remember is you chasing around stallions."
I set my hoof on Twilight’s chest and finally pushed her away from me. She'd never guess! Stuck up, snooty, know it all! "No, I don't really want to be and yes, I am very powerful. Lots of fire magic. So much fire magic! But I'm a royal guard now, a fact the princess may have overlooked when she tried to enroll me in Twilight class. I’m not destined to be a wizard."
"Oh, well, that's a shame," Twilight replied, seemingly let down. Seemingly because she couldn't actually be upset about not working with me. We weren't friends, after all. We barely knew each other aside from me being constantly compared to how great she was by our teachers.
"Yes, I seemingly forgot that,” the princess said, shooting me a look. “Rather, I set it aside because I felt you might want to try other avenues of success. It doesn't appear you do, however, so the three of us could enjoy a lovely tea time together instead."
Twilight Sparkle softly chuckled and settled herself down at the table. "That sounds like the Sunny I remember! She always followed her own path. Tea would be lovely. And after that I can go visit my brother! He hasn't been sending any letters lately. It's like he's forgotten about me."
'That sounds like Sunny,' I mocked in my head. Little miss 'super special Twilight Sparkle.' Little miss 'Why can't you be like Twilight Sparkle!' Bah.
Wait, brother? Her parents copulated twice? Impossible! I blinked. "Who's your brother again?"
The purple mare waved a hoof at me and laughed. "Come on, Sunny, don't be silly! It's Shining Armor, you remember that!" She levitated her tea up and took a sip. "He's my best friend! He was always around at school."
No, that didn't make sense. Shining Armor was a stud! Twilight's brother was a dorky, dopey, gangly stallion that—wait, it was unlikely there would be two Shining Armors! That meant he was a dorky stallion who’d grown up hot. And he probably still acted like a dork. And was susceptible to the wiles of a hot mare like a dork.
My forehooves idly rubbed together as a plan coalesced in my mind. "Oh, yes, I do remember him."
Princess Celestia cleared her throat. "Yes, Sunny works under him in this very palace."
Yes, working under him was exactly what Sunny would do. Him and his marefriend together, if I had my way. That way, the next time Twilight got uppity with me, I could yell, 'Oh, yeah! Well, I'm the gal that works your brother's horn!'
"Sunny?" There was a purple hoof waving in front of my face. "Hello!"
"Wha?" I blinked, losing track of my plans to sweet talk my way into Shining Armor's bed.
"Did you want to go with me to see my brother?" Twilight asked.
I shook my head. "Oh, thank you, but not today. I have some plans. I'm heading over to the Mare Contraire to visit my friends."
Twilight’s ears wiggled. “Mare Contraire? What kind of place is that? Is it fun?”
A slow, evil grin spread across my lips. “It is certainly fun. It’s a dance club and bar for mares.”
“I love to dance!” Twilight clapped her hooves. “Maybe I’ll drop by after I see Shining.”
Princess Celestia glanced at me over the rim of her tea cup as if to ask, ‘what are you up to?’
“You should totally do that Twilight, you might make some new friends,” I said doing my best to keep a straight face.
The princess cleared her throat. “Yes, as long as it is a safe place for a pony to be.”
I waved a hoof. “Of course it’s perfectly safe! Actually, I’m going to head over there now.” I set my teacup down and stood up. “Thank you for tea, Princess. I’m sorry that I’m being stubborn about learning, but I’d just really like to focus on my career with the Royal Guard. Nice seeing you, too, Twilight.”
That last part was a bit of a fib. I still intended to defeat her in our rivalry.
“It was nice to see you again, Sunny!” Twilight said cheerfully. Fake cheerfully, I bet!
“That is alright, Sunny,” the princess said with a soft smile. “I would never want you to do something you didn’t have your heart in. To further your studies, you’d have to want it. Nonetheless, I shall see you again soon.”
“Yes, ma’am!” I replied before bowing. Tea with the princess was nice and all, but it was time to head off to my real evening plans: picking up mares at the Mare Contraire.